#like i get it lads you are probably just trolling and will likely stay

[banannabethchase]

Fell asleep at 4,

Woke up at 9:30,

The Bucks bio update,

Made my brain all hurty.

[poedameronwifey]

A true home(The hobbit Fanfic)

Chapter 11

Renee's Pov

Lilith has been gone for a while, I was beginning to worry. Kate had used our code but that was a while ago. I know she can handle herself but a part of me worries. I looked around the camp. Everyone was doing their own thing but I noticed Dwalin wasn't here. I hope he's okay. Maybe he went to the bathroom plus the dude is tough so he can handle himself. Oh wait, Lils did say that Dwalin was with her, ugh you know what they can both take care of themselves. I looked up at the sky and saw the burning sky.

It looked so beautiful, almost as if the world was on fire but it wasn't it. It was so calming for me. I sighed as I looked over at Kate. Tonight was the night the company gets captured by the trolls. No doubt they're going to make us stay here but this can work to our advantage. I looked at papa and he was staring into the direction Gandalf left. He stood near the entrance of the farmhouse next to Bofur who was dishing up stew for Fili and Kili.

"He's been a long time."

"Who?"

"Gandalf!"

"He's a wizard, he does as he chooses. Here, do us a favour: take these to the lads."

Bilbo carefully took the bowls and made for the forest. I heard noises from the first and turned to see Lilith and Dwalin talking. I was so confused. They almost looked as if they were close friends. Thorin's not going to like that. I grinned at the thought of Thorin glaring at Lilith whenever the two have conversations. He looked like an abandoned puppy.

They came up to where I was. I looked up at them and smiled. Lilith sat next to me and Dwalin sat next to her.

"Hello Master Dwalin. Thank you for bringing her back. She would have probably been training till morning so you really made things a lot easier for Kate and I."

"Hey. That's not true, I can stop whenever I want." I looked at her with a raised eyebrow and smirked. She then huffed and crossed her arms with a pout.

"Oh calm down. I was only joking. Jeez, cranky much? Go get something to eat now or else Kate's going to drag you by the ear.. again." We both shivered at that thought. She got up and went to Bofur, who greeted her with a smile and gave her a bowl of stew. I turned to Dwalin.

"Mister Dwalin. I was wondering if I could ask you something. You can say no of course. Would you be open to training Kate, Lilith and I? We don't want to be useless. We know enough to handle people but orcs are a whole different story. We want to be useful on this quest. Would you consider it?"

Dwalin looked me in the eyes and was quiet for some time. I couldn't read his emotions which I was usually good at. I was starting to get nervous and was about to tell him never mind when Lilith and Kate came over to us.

"Good evening mister Dwalin. Hey si-you okay Ren? You look like you are going to combust."

"Oh I'm good. No worries. Just enjoying the beautiful weather." I spoke in such a strained voice. Kate knew I was lying by the face I made. I just sighed and told her what I told Dwalin.

She sighed and sat down on the other side of me while Lilith sat in her previous spot and ate her food. Kate was probably against my idea but we need to learn how to defend ourselves. We aren't some damsels in distress. I turned back to Dwalin to hear what his answer was. He looked as if he was deep in thought. Maybe he was actually considering it. I prayed that he was. He finally looked back at us with a serious look.

"I usually don't agree but after seeing Lilith's training, I think that perhaps you could all be great warriors. And Miss Lilith had already asked me if she could train with me. I don't really see the issue with training two more. So, I'll train ya, all of ya. But I'm not going to go easy on you because you're lassies. I'm a very tough teacher so you have to give it your all. We start at dawn."

We looked at each other in shock and then back at him with giddy smiles. We nodded, agreeing to his terms. He gave us a rare smile before getting up and heading over to Thorin.

Now we had to sit tight and wait for Papa and the trolls situation to happen. I look at the girls because we now have to take on project Thilbo to commence.

Kate's Pov

I couldn't believe that Dwalin actually agreed to train us. This is so exciting. I looked at the girls with a giddy expression.

"Please tell me that did not just happen. Omg Dwalin's actually agreed to train us. Wow this is going to be hellish but it's going to be so worth it."

We spoke about the plan when we heard running coming from the direction Bilbo disappeared a while ago. We saw Fili and Kili running towards us. We got up and ran towards them.

"Boys, what's the problem? Why are you running like someone's chasing you with a chainsaw? And where's Papa? You two are so dead." Renee glared at them and if looks could kill, they'd be six feet under.

"We sent him to get the ponies back from the trolls while we get you guys." Kili looked at Thorin who looked as if he was planning their funerals. Everyone got their weapons and headed in the direction of the trolls. We were about to join when a hand stopped in front of us. We looked and saw Thorin with a hard glare.

"What the fuck dude? We shouldn't be wasting time. Papa needs us so let's go." Lilith matched his glare.

"You will stay here and watch the camp. You are not trained to fight against trolls. Don't even think about following after us." He then ran towards the direction of the trolls. We just stood there before looking at each other and smirking.

"Phase one: complete. Now on to Phase two. We need to wait a bit. Then Lilith and you will go to the company while I throw stuff at them to piss them off. You guys need to distract them every time so that they don't get a hold of me. I'll inform Gandalf when he gets here. Remember we have to wait until morning. Alright let's do this. Remember to take a weapon to be safe. Also confuse them with our weird Gen Z minds."

They smirked before getting small weapons that they could hide. We went in different directions. I found a great place where I could see the trolls and the company with ease and the trolls wouldn't be able to see me. Alright let's do this. I have to wait until I see Lilith or Renee before I can start.

Third Pov

Meanwhile with the dwarves...

Well this is a funny situation. Dwarves being grilled like meat in a log by trolls while the others were in sacks on the ground, waiting for their turn.

They were yelling as the trolls were cooking.

"Don't bother cooking them. Let's just sit on them and squash them into jelly."

"They should be sautéed and grilled with a sprinkle of sage."

"Well, that does sound quite nice."

"Never mind the seasoning; we ain't got all night! Dawn ain't far away and I don't fancy being turned to stone." Bilbo's face lit up as he got an idea.

"Wait! You are making a terrible mistake!"

"You can't reason with them, they're half-wits."

"Half-wits? What does that make us?"

"I meant with the seasoning." Bilbo managed to jump to his feet.

"What about the seasoning?"

"Well, have you smelt them? You're going to need something stronger than sage before you plate this lot up."

The dwarves yelled in protest.

"What do you know about cooking dwarf?"

"Shut up and let the flurgaburburrhobbit talk."

"Yes, well, the secret to cooking dwarf is -"

"Yes? Come on!"

"It's -"

"Tell us the secret."

"Yes, I'm telling you, the secret is to skin them first!"

The dwarves yelled in their rage. A grin spread across Bert's face.

"Tom, get me a filleting knife."

"What a load of rubbish! I've eaten plenty with their skins on. Scruff them, I say, boots and all."

While that was taking place, Renee and Lilith went over the plan before stepping out with such confidence even though they were screaming internally.

"Sup motherfuckers. How are you all doing this fine night? What have we got here?" The trolls looked at Renee in confusion while the dwarves yelled at us to get away and run. Lilith comes up behind me.

"I don't think I want to know. Ooh food. I'm hungry." Renee rolled her eyes at her as they walked up to the pot. They turned to the trolls.

"You just ate. For fucks sake."

"Could you give us a boast please?"

Two of the trolls, William and Tom, didn't know what they were doing but decided to just help them. They lifted them on their hands, The girls asked for the ladle. They took a scoop and ate it. They looked at each, making noises, They hummed in agreement before turning to them. Lilith decided to flatter them so that they wouldn't be suspicious.

"That is very good. Compliments to the chef. It could however use some salt to balance it out but otherwise, chef's kiss. May I ask who the chef is?" Bert just put his hand up in confusion. Renee and Lilith clapped before asking to be put down. When they were finally on the ground, they turned around to face them, Renee took over.

"Gentlemen, gentlemen. Let's be civil about this, you surrender and you don't die. How does that sound?" No one understood what was going on. Out of nowhere a rock hit William in the face. The trolls turned into the diction the rock came from. The girls had to try not to laugh or else this plan was going to fail.

"Ow, you little snake. I'll get you for that." Lilith stood in front of Renee, putting her finger out and wiggling it left and right, shaking her head in sync. The trolls looked at her.

" Oi Boys. Be respectful when someone's talking. Damn who raised you? If either of us did that, our mama would be the shit out of us. She took shit from no one. Now apologise to my sister, or Ima beat yo ass."

They looked so terrified of her that they quickly apologised to Renee, who smirked. The dwarves were flabbergasted. Another rock came and hit Bert in the face. They were about to say something to Renee when Lilith gave them a look and kept their mouths shut. This happened a few more times before Bert finally broke.

"That's it. I'm not scared of a little girl. I'm going to cook you first and make the rest of your little friends watch." He went to grab Lilith before Renee stepped in front of her and slipped his hand away.

"No touchy. No touchy as the famous Kuzco once said. Gentleman, that is incredibly inappropriate. At least take us to dinner first. Damn we gotta teach some rizz or else you are never going to get someone. It's okay. We'll help you and by we I mean Lilith because I have no game whatsoever. Don't worry she's a master at this. You'll be pros in no time." Lilith nodded in agreement. At this point the dwarves gave up and just waited for the trolls to eat them.

Finally after waiting for who knows how long, Kate runs into view.

"Oi dipshits, we might not be able to kill you but our wizard can. Say hi Wizard. Fuck you and enjoy the sun." The trolls looked at her in confusion. Suddenly Gandalf got up on the big boulder.

"The dawn will take you all!" Confused, the trolls turned to Gandalf.

"Who's that?"

"No idea."

"Can we eat him too?:

Gandalf struck the rock beneath him with his staff. It broke in half with a crack. Sunlight poured into the clearing. The light touched the troll's skin, and turned them into stone as they screamed and howled. Within seconds, the trolls were nothing more than statues. Kate ran to the girls and did their special handshake.

"Boo yah. Phase two: complete."

The dwarves cheered as the trolls became stone. Gandalf looked at the girls with pride and gave their shoulders' a pat in congratulation. The dwarves finally relaxed at the fact that they wouldn't be eaten that night, and by trolls nonetheless. Dwalin groaned from the spit.

"Oh, get your foot out of my back!"

The girls laughed at them. Well they got what they deserved.

What could be next? The dwarves had no idea but the girls sure did. And boy, they were excited but nervous. 

[anotherhawk]

Play At War Chapter 2 - the Mechanisms fanfic

Story on AO3

It had been three days. Tim had no idea how Private d'Ville was still alive. Not killing the bastard himself was taking considerable willpower. 

"It's not like I want to be in the army either," he complained to Bertie over their morning tea and K rations. "But here we all are and we need to follow orders, right?"

"Of course, Corporal, at once, Corporal," Bertie answered smartly, because he was a dick and a troll, and Tim hated him. 

"Are you saluting me right now?"

"Yep."

"Well, cut it out."

Private d'Ville hadn't reported in to Corporal Smythe for latrine digging duty on that first day. Instead Tim had found him in the garage depot, playing William Tell with the quartermaster for rocket fuel. He'd said he'd been planning on making molotov cocktails, but Tim was fairly sure he had caught him drinking the stuff.

The second day Tim had marched him directly to the would-be latrine site and, six hours later, had returned to find the Toy Soldier cheerfully digging while Jonny somehow had Smythe's entire squad entranced with some bullshit ghost story. The hole the Toy Soldier had dug was barely three feet across, but it was easily three hundred feet deep. They'd had to fetch a ladder, and then a rope, and when the Soldier was finally hauled up; having seemingly enjoyed the experience immensely, the ladder was nowhere to be found.

On the third day….Well, on the third day, with Corporal Smythe's squad all on sick line with night terrors and refusing to get any further involved, Tim elected to supervise himself. Fuck, it beat doing shoe inspections in the dark, right?

This deep in their little base they were able to risk a few extremely dim lights, which gave him a perfect view of the expression on Jonny's face when he handed him the shovel.

"I came here to do violence, not manual labour."

Tim gritted his teeth. "It's all part of being a soldier."

"Hmm." Jonny casually swung the shovel over his shoulder, holding it more like a deadly weapon than a digging implement. "Do you actually buy into that? Did you join up to serve Queen and Country like the recruiters ad told you to?" He slipped into a posher accent, one that could cut glass but probably had a servant do it instead. "Grab yourself a laser, lad, and serve your queen with a smile, smile, smile."

The impression was...uncanny. Tim had been in a couple of bands in his day, and he'd always had a good ear for music and if he didn't know better he'd have sworn that Jonny was just miming along to that fucking advert. 

"Not that it's any of your business, but yes, I did volunteer." It had seemed like the better option; him and Bertie volunteering together so they'd get to stay together. They'd have been drafted sooner or later anyway, and when that happened they might have ended up anywhere.

"I thought so,"Jonny nodded, hefting the shovel. "Only idiots volunteer."

"Uh huh." He didn't take any offense. He'd heard it before and he didn't even really disagree. "I assume you were drafted?"

Jonny grinned. Took a step forwards. Pushing into Tim's space. "Whatever gave you that idea?"

"Look, are you going to dig this fucking trench, or am I going to have to put you on report for disobeying orders?"

And for some reason Jonny hesitated. "I thought I was already on report?"

"Um," he said, and immediately regretted it. "I wanted to keep this within the squad in the first instance."

"Ah. I see." He stepped back. "You're soft."

"What?"

"My last squad leader would have had me over the drum by now." He casually dropped the shovel and walked away.

For a moment Tim's mouth just made gibbering noises. "What? That's...whatever relationship you might have had…"

"Ew. No. To be flogged, idiot."

Oh, fuck, that was a relief. Still, Tim felt his face grow hot.

He was saved from his colossal embarrassment by a dispatch rider crashing through the barricades beside them, his speeder on fire, his legs torn to shreds. "Moonbeast!" he shrieked as he fell to the ground, his bike exploding behind him. "It's on the rampage! It's taken out checkpoint Bakerloo!"

Tim grabbed his rifle. Jonny's pistol was already in his hand, and he gestured happily with it towards the mess the speeder had made. "There you go, corporal. One trench, freshly gouged."

Seriously. Why was the fucker still alive?

*

Checkpoint Bakerloo was an hour's forced march through pitch black tunnels. There were eight of the sent out, all carrying flashbacks and heavy plasma rifles; the only weapons Tim had found were guaranteed to put a hole in a moonbeast's hide.

"It's been a while since there was a moonbeast attack," Lamont muttered unhappily from the rear.

"True," Bertie agreed. "They were much more plentiful earlier in the war. I guess we're driving them to extinction; it's a shame."

"Shame my arse," Thompson snorted. "Just one of those fuckers can rip through a whole squad like toilet paper. They're not even real animals, did you know that? They're just something the Kaiser dreamed up to fuck with us."

"Oh, the moonbeasts are far older than the Kaiser and definitely far older than the war. They're the last remnants of a much older war; a nightmare of bioengineering made real of tooth and claw." Jonnys voice had taken on the same cadence he'd had when telling ghost stories, and Tim found his pace slowing as he listened in spite of himself. "They were abandoned on the Lunar surface a long time ago, by their creator, who could never bring herself to destroy what she'd made. Of course, as humans burnt away the surface and slipped inside, they followed. Hunting, perhaps. Or maybe they're simply afraid of being abandoned once more."

"How...how do you know that?" Amir asked, which was a very fair question. That didn't match any info packet he'd ever seen.

Jonny laughed, and there was the sound of a flask popping. "How do you know I'm not making it up?"

"They Are Jolly Fine Creatures But Very Headstrong! I Had A Tricky Time Of It Taking One To The Officer's Mess!"

There was a long silence. Tim bit his tongue and willed no one to ask. Sadly, Bertie didn't get the message. "Um. Why were you trying to take a moonbeast anywhere?"

"It Was Christmas," the Toy Soldier explained incomprehensibly. "Major Dunne Thought I Was Her Batman And Ordered Me To Fetch The Freshest Meat I Could Find. Jonny Would Not Cooperate And So The Moonbeast Was The Next Best Option."

There was another long silence. "Haha," Lamont said at last. "You're funny."

"I Am! Thank you for noticing!"

"We're getting close," Tim broke in, thankful for the excuse. "Everyone stay sharp. The moonbeast could be on the prowl, or Lenny might be making a rush for the checkpoint while it's unmanned."

"Wish the moonbeast would go eat Lenny for once," Amir muttered.

Thompson snorted. "Ha! The poor things probably can't stand the stench of Lunar beer and moon garlic anymore than we can."

"I don't know, it gives the meat a certain bitterness I'm rather partial to," d'Ville said, not sounding like he was particularly paying attention.

There was a brief but excessively awkward silence which Bertie, being the kindest bastard in the solar system, found a way to defuse. "We're the British infantry, mate. As long as it's microwaved and slathered in ketchup, it'll get eaten." 

"This war will be lost if the Kaiser manages to destroy our strategic ketchup reserves." Lamont's joke was cut off as the unmistakable howl of a massive moonbeast shook the tunnels.

Fuck. It was hunting. 

"Everyone spread out," he hissed. "Weapons ready, backs to the wall, don't- "

His words were lost as another howl rended the air, followed by rushing footsteps, falling rocks...a scream. Gunfire that for a split second lit up the massive jaws and teeth tearing at what was left of poor Thompson. The thick wetness splattered against his face. The overpowering smell of copper. More screaming. 

It was always dark in the tunnels, and moonbeasts made very little noise at all. The best way to guarantee a shot was to aim by the sound of your own screaming friends and hope that you hit the beast as well.

Tim held the trigger down and listened as Dougal's screams cut out.

And then there was silence. For a moment.

"Ha!" d'Ville crowed, as though they hadn't just had their arses handed to them by a creature with a brain the size of a Lunarman's bollock. "The bastard went this way! Come on, we can catch it if we follow the blood trail."

"No, stay where you are," he ordered quickly. "It could be back at any moment, we need to regroup."

He was laughing. The bastard was laughing. "Sounds really dull. No, sorry Corporal, I'm afraid I must be going."

Tim tried to catch him, he really did, but he was gone. 

"Tally Ho!" the Toy Soldier cried. "Pip Pip! A Hunting We Must Go!" 

And then it too was gone.

Fuck.

"Sound off," he managed to say hoarsely. "Who's left?"

"I'm here," Bertie said from just behind him, and Tim closed his eyes for a second in silent thanks.

"I'm okay," Amir called out from somewhere off to the side.

"Yeah, me too," Lamont added. "Thompson's gone though."

Fuck. "Dougal?" he called out without much hope. 

"I'm still here, but my leg's fucked." Her voice was shaking but she still sounded like she was trying to grin. "What a fucking morning, eh?"

From somewhere far ahead of them they heard the moonbeast roar again. And as they flinched they heard the sound of singing and a discordant harmonica.

"A hunting we will go, a hunting we will go

Pull up your socks and chase the fox a hunting we will go."

"The new guys are fucking weird," Dougal said as he knelt to help Bertie put a tourniquet on her leg.

"At least they're not our problem anymore."

"You know," Bertie said quietly. "As long as they're making that much racket they're leading it away from us."

Well, fuck.

*

They'd managed to fashion a crude stretcher for Dougal and had almost reached the checkpoint when the artillery barrage began.

What a shitty fucking morning. What a shitty fucking war.

They managed to get to a foxhole, the stretcher abandoned outside. It was a tight fit with the four of them, and no doubt it was hell on Dougal's leg, and with every shell that landed closer, closer, a shower of rocks and moon dirt fell around their heads.

Technically they could probably survive anything except a direct hit. In actuality if it got much closer they'd wind up being buried alive, and given the choice between being blown to bits and a slow death by suffocation...well, Tim was hoping for a direct hit if it came down to it.

"I hate this," Bertie murmured, flinching, pressed tight against Tim's side as another strike shook the walls around them.

"We're going to be okay," he said, with a confidence he didn't feel, and, as another explosion briefly lit up the tunnels, he could see that Bertie knew better than to believe him.

Alright then. He swallowed hard and began to sing.

"Cooked last night

And cooked the night before

Gonna be cooked tonight

If we're never cooked no more.

When you're cooked

You're hot as you can be 

Cos the Kaiser wants to microwave

The British Infantry"

By the end of the first song they were all singing along, roaring their defiance into the bloody dark, and it was only by pure chance that Tim heard it.

Footsteps.

Someone running out in the dark, between the sounds of gunfire and explosions.

He quietened everyone down and they stayed stock still, listening.

Whoever it was was coming closer. A shell exploded somewhere near by and the running stopped, for a few moments, and they hold their breath, but then the footsteps came again, closer, closer.

A fresh explosion lit up the world and there, perched on the side of the foxhole like some demented gargoyle, wearing a moonbeast tail around his neck like a scarf and with blood and brain matter plastering the side of his face, sat Private Jonny fucking d'Ville staring in at them intently.

"That was a good song. Sing it again, Corporal."

[madamebaggio]

Notes: Previously...

This chapter is particularly short, and I feel like it’s almost a filler. Sorry about this. I’ve decided not to go deep into the parts of the movie that were virtually not being changed -the trolls, the orcs hunting them down, and so on.

I hope you enjoy it.

***

Chapter 14

Eastern Eriador, May 29, 2941

“And this is where you should add some coriander, because -as my cousin Daisy found out during her wedding… Oh, yes! The wedding. I forgot to mention this before, because Daisy got married to this Underhill boy, and he…”

“The dawn will take you!” Gandalf cried dramatically as he finally decided to come back.

Bell was glad he did; she was running out of stories to tell the trolls.

“Miss Baggins.” Fíli came to her when Gandalf was talking to Thorin. “I am so sorry. We should not have left you alone.”

“No, you should not.” She put her hands on her waist, but then she sighed. “Although, I was relieved that I was the one that got captured instead of you two.” It was true. When the trolls had first captured Bluebell, she’d thought it was better this way, as she didn’t want to see the two brothers getting hurt.

It was a bit odd for her, but she cared about the little rascals. She didn’t want them to get hurt.

Fíli was frowning. “No, Miss Baggins. We failed you. I will never let that happen again.” He promised, and he was so serious, she couldn’t tell him to let it go.

“Oh you.” She smiled warmly at him. “Fine. You are forgiven and I believe you.”

Fíli grinned boyishly at her. “Thank you, Miss Baggins.”

“Hey, you two!” Bofur called from farther away. “We found the trolls’ cave.”

Bell was very much not interested in a cave that had housed trolls -she could only imagine the smell -so she stayed outside.

She was covered in troll snot and she didn’t have anything to clean herself with.

“Here, lass.” Óin approached her with a rag. “It is not ideal but it is better than snot.”

“Thank you, Master Óin.” She smiled at him.

He patted her shoulder like she was a child. “You are a good lass.” He told her.

She frowned, even though she was amused by the out-of-nowhere compliment. “Thank you, Master Óin.”

“You will make a fine bride.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Make the lad treat you right.” He once again patted her on the shoulder, then just walked away, leaving Bell there, gawking at his back.

“Make the lad…?” She snorted. “I hope he is not talking about…”

“Bluebell.”

She turned to Gandalf. “Yes?”

The wizard had a short-sword on his hand. “Here. This is about your size.” He offered it to her.

Bluebell took it carefully, then shook her head. “I cannot take this.” She offered it back to him.

Gandalf made no move to take it back. “The blade is of Elvish make, which means it will glow blue when orcs and goblins are nearby.”

Bluebell sighed. “I have never used a sword in my life.” She pointed out needlessly.

“And I hope you never have to.” Gandalf told her simply. “But if you do, remember this: true courage is about knowing not when to take a life, but when to spare one.”

Bluebell kept the sword in her hand, but she was still worried. It was a weapon. What should she do with it? She’d never even…

“Someone is coming!”

***

Gandalf was talking quietly to the strange one who’d appeared in a sled pulled by rabbits.

At this point, Bluebell wouldn’t even think too hard about that one.

“Burglar.”

Oh yes. This was Thorin’s new thing: calling her ‘Burglar’.

“Yes, Master Oakenshield?” She asked, willing her face to remain neutral and probably failing. She could still hear Óin saying she’d make a good bride.

“Are you hurt?” He asked her.

That wasn’t what she was expecting. “No.”

“What you did was foolish.” He pointed out. “Even if it was brave.”

Bluebell snorted. “I saved your lives.”

“After you put all of us at risk.” He narrowed his eyes.

“Me?” She put her hands on her waist. “Your nephews…” She stopped and took a deep breath in. “I am not going to argue with you.” She decided.

Thorin arched an eyebrow. “No, you will not, because I am the leader of this company.”

She gasped. “Really? This is the relationship we have?”

His eyebrow remained quite arched. “From what I understand, it is the only relationship you wish to have.”

Bell was left agape, unable to say anything else at this point.

Honestly, the fact that wargs appeared was a blessing at that point.

***

Bluebell couldn’t remember the last time she’d run so much. She was a hobbit -and not a young one at that -so she didn’t make a habit of running around. Having wargs and orcs chasing her, though, did make the run easier -if not less stressful.

Bell had never feared for her life like this. Yes, she had been scared when it came to the trolls, but it wasn’t a fraction of what she felt every time the wargs howled.

Perhaps a foolish part of her had truly believed she had the situation with the trolls under control, and only now -faced with armed orcs -she felt completely hopeless.

Perhaps only now she understood how dangerous this journey really was, and what truly was at stake there.

And the thing was, Bluebell hadn’t started this adventure thinking it’d be all roses and rainbows like in children’s books. She’d been warned about the dangers of it, and her role was to steal something from under a dragon’s snout!

However, having someone actively hunting them down was something she hadn’t been prepared for. She hadn’t considered this a possibility, and that had been rather naive of her. If the prize was a mountain of gold, it figured there would be other people interested in it.

When they escaped the orcs -by a bloody miracle -Bell felt mild relief. They were safe -then. There were no guarantees they’d remain safe once they were back into the open road. She felt foolish for not taking Thorin’s warnings more seriously or even properly considering the fact that she was not trained -at all. She could throw rocks very well -like most hobbits -but that was hardly a valid way to fight.

That night, when they stopped for rest in the tight crevice where they’d taken refuge, Bell couldn’t sleep. She talked to Ori for a long time -he wanted to know about the Shire -but even when it got later, she couldn’t sleep properly.

When they went back to walking the next morning, Bell felt tired.

Until they finally left the crevice and found…

“Rivendell.” She whispered, marvelled by the sight.

[jgvfhl]

THE NUMBER LADS ARE STILL HERE!!

Some of these chapters might be uh... less than consistent with the actual chronology of TCW but that's what they get when they don't air the episodes in order! (Read Part 1 and Part 2!)

CT-2222 = Do-si-do = Double Trouble

CT-3333 = Trees = Leafs

ARC-5555 = Fives (duh) = high fives

ARC-1409 = Echo (honorary number lad) = BetterDomino

CC-6666 = Sixes/Death = DEATH

ARC-7777 = Sevenset = RedBoiiiii

CT-8888 = Loops = Loopy

Trees had almost forgotten about the Numbers meeting. Honestly, the only thing reminding him of the day of the week was his own internal clock. A lot had happened, okay? Geonosis was never “fun” for anyone, and he was just glad it was over. His general and commander had both nearly died there--which was only a first for Commander Offee, because that had been the second campaign to Geonosis, and that wasn’t even including the damn brain worms--kriffing sithspit he needed a nap.

But a nap would wait until he could tell the others he was okay. Fortunately, he’d set a reminder for it, so at least he wouldn’t be getting half a dozen comms from Sevenset or Do-si-do about being late. The rest of his squadron was sound asleep by the time the meeting was supposed to start, so out of courtesy, Trees walked to the mess hall, which, at this time, was all but empty. One or two others milled about, looking just as exhausted as Trees felt. He took a seat in one corner, setting the holoprojector on the table and waiting for the transmission to start.

And trying not to fall asleep.

Sevenset started the meeting, Fives and Echo standing beside him like they had last month. They were approaching graduation by now, weren’t they?

“Hey, Trees,” Sevenset smiled.

“Hi.”

“How was bug world?” Fives asked.

Trees gave them a deadpan stare. “How do you think? I’m sure your friends in Torrent have plenty of stories.” The 501st had also been on Geonosis--their Commander Tano had been with Commander Offee onboard the medical transport infested with kriffing brain worms.

Echo smirked. “Yeah, we heard General Skywalker and Commander Tano threw Captain Rex off a building.”

“They did what?” Loops had appeared just as Echo had started speaking.

“Yeah, they’ve done it a lot, apparently,” Fives nodded.

“Kinda sad I missed it,” his batcher said.

“Devastated.”

Trees blinked slowly. “You aren’t. Believe me.”

Sevenset chuckled. “Yeah, you look like you’re falling asleep over there.”

Trees rubbed his face. “Yeah well,” he sighed, resting his chin on his hand, “when your general and commander nearly die twice on the same campaign, and somehow it involves mind controlling parasites, you’d be a little tired.”

The other four all raised their eyebrows at him. Before they had time to ask questions, however, a third hologram appeared. Trees recognized Do-si-do instantly, sitting at a table instead of in his cockpit like normal. But next to him was a new face--as it were. Judging from the glasses on the table and the shifting lighting, they were at 79s on Coruscant. Lucky bastards.

“I found zero!” Do-si-do announced happily. The man next to him gave a little two-finger salute.

Right after that, two more holograms appeared, which made Trees blink and sit up a bit straighter. He was used to Commander Sixes by now--honestly, he was--but after years of training to recognize COs and react accordingly, it was hard to shake the urge to go to attention. But the commander wasn’t the only one joining. Judging by the dull fuschia color of his armor, this was number four, from the Nova Corps.

He looked like he would rather crawl under a rock. Trees had felt similarly upon being press-ganged by Sevenset and Do-si-do to join them.

Sevenset’s face lit up at the two new holograms. “Commander!”

“Stow it, ARC,” came the immediate gruff reply.

“We’ve got two ARCs now,” Do-si-do was quick to point out, tapping the pauldrons of the man next to him.

The commander looked at the newcomer, then looked back at Sevenset. “He knows who I mean.”

“Indeed I do,” the ARC in question answered. “But hey! Two whole new numbers!” Trees couldn’t help the small smile forming on his face. Sevenset’s joy was contagious. “What do we call you guys?”

“I’m Zero,” the man next to Do-si-do replied. He had dark green paint over his armor, --maybe now Trees could convince Sevenset to change his name in the group chat to something other than Green Bean. His pauldrons were both green, and there was an inverted chevron visible over his grey chestpiece. Zero’s head was shaved on both sides, leaving a wide strip of curls down the center, and a tattoo on one side that Trees couldn’t quite make out from the hologram. He also caught sight of wide loops set into his earlobes. This guy almost had Sevenset beat for aesthetic.

They all turned their attention to the marine, who shrank back minisculely from his holoprojector. “Uhm…” He looked like he’d bolt at the next opportunity.

“It’s just your name, marine,” the commander prompted.

Instantly, the man answered, “Fours. I’m Fours.” Fours looked almost regulation from where Trees was sitting. It was hard to tell over hologram, but there might have been the remnants of a dye-job in his short hair, but it was too overgrown to be recognizable. The Nova Corps really didn’t get much time off. The armor they could see on him had vertical stripes painted over each shoulder, ending mid-way down his chestplate, as well as one down the center of his chest, and stripes down each shoulder bell.

Sevenset beamed at them both. “Well, welcome to the party. I’m Sevenset. I see Fours has already met the charming Commander Sixes.” The rest of them introduced themselves one by one, with Sevenset mentioning Echo’s “honorary number status” briefly.

“So… what do you guys actually do in these meetings?” Zero asked afterwards.

Several of the older members shrugged. Sevenset answered, “Eh, just chat. Or… I dunno, spread gossip.”

“They’re largely useless,” the commander said plainly.

Trees smirked at Sevenset’s eyeroll. “Yet, you keep coming to them, Commander,” the red ARC reminded him.

Do-si-do added, “He’s actually never missed one since you dragged him into it.”

Trees could confirm that--he often kept tabs on attendance just so he knew when to be worried if someone missed out. But he also wanted to keep watching Sevenset and Do-si-do taunt Death.

Zero and Fours both looked surprised, although Fours’ expression was a bit harder to read. He was still pretty on-edge. “How did you get Commander Death to join, anyway?” Zero asked, swirling the contents of his glass.

“Sheer willpower,” Sevenset answered smugly.

The commander crossed his arms. “I’m actually waiting for your last functioning brain cell to die from lack of stimulation. It’ll be funnier on camera.”

Fives and Do-si-do both burst out laughing--a problem for the latter, who had just taken a mouthful from his drink and consequently sprayed half of it across the table. Echo and Loops simply had huge grins on their faces, an expression Trees found mirrored on his own face. Sevenset had a sort of strained smile as he waited for Fives and Do-si-do to recover.

“I’m touched you have so much concern for me, Commander.”

“Oh, I’m concerned, alright.” The remark made Fives and Do-si-do break up again.

The commander was definitely warming up to the group, even Trees could see it. He would probably never admit it, but since his first meeting, he’d thawed a bit. Trees almost wished he could have seen their first meeting on Kamino, just to know how close the commander had been to wringing Sevenset’s neck. For old time’s sake.

Once the laughter had died down into smiles, Zero looked to the two batchers standing with Sevenset. “When are you two graduating, anyway?”

“Next week!” Fives announced, beaming with pride.

“Yeah, we get our new gear tomorrow,” Echo smiled.

“Which means this guy,” Fives added, putting an arm around his brother’s shoulders, “is going to stay up all night reading about it, right Echo?”

Echo shrugged his arm off with a well-worn scowl. Trees frowned a little. “Hey, reading up on the kit isn’t a bad idea. I did it. I’ll probably do it again when Phase Two comes out, whenever that’s gonna be.”

Vindicated, Echo folded his arms and lifted his chin at his brother, who rolled his eyes. Zero tipped his glass towards them. “Well, you survived this long. Have fun next week.” He drained what was left of the drink, then slid the glass to the center of the table. Trees really couldn’t wait for leave… he needed a drink after Geonosis. And not just the stuff the boys managed to sneak onboard.

“Hey, Zero,” Loops spoke up, leaning forward a little. “Why haven’t I heard much about the one-eigteenth?”

A good question. Trees knew rather little about Zero’s legion, aside from knowing it was in the Seventh Sky Corps along with the 501st and the 212th. He didn’t even know which Jedi led it.

“Probably--” The green ARC started to answer, then something out of frame caught his attention, and he held up a finger. He stood up and they heard him shout, “Incident! Off the ceiling! Troll, stop helping!” He leaned down. “Hang on.” Then he disappeared out of frame.

“Is someone actually on the ceiling?” Fives asked, looking to Do-si-do for answers.

The pilot nodded, his attention directed upward. “I don’t know how he did it. But he did.”

“Okay, so Torrent should never meet them,” Echo said. “I think we’d watch as the captain went grey from stress before our eyes.”

Fives grinned. “I dunno, it could be fun.”

“No, it would be fun,” his brother agreed, “right until you blow something up and get yourself and others hurt. Then Kix would have your balls.”

“Worth it.” Echo looked between Sevenset and Fives, who had both spoken, then rubbed his face with both hands.

Commander Sixes shook his head. “Never have these problems with my boys.”

Zero returned a minute or two later, another drink in his hand. “Okay. Sorry about that, someone got a balloon stuck in the rafters, and Incident thought it was a good idea to retrieve it.”

“Did he get it?” Loops asked.

“Unfortunately, yes.”

“Why unfortunately?”

“Because he got a reward for climbing to the ceiling to get it, and he’ll probably try it again later.” He took a drink. “Anyway. One-eighteenth. We’re pretty small for a legion, which is probably why you haven’t heard of us. One company of the two-twelfth is probably most of our troops.”

“Who’s your General?” Echo asked.

“General Veekah Bala.” He got mostly blank stares and couple heads shaking. “Yeah, well. She’s pretty awesome. Togruta, double-bladed lightsaber. Kinda young, like Skywalker, but…” He paused, like he was looking for the right words.

“More sane?” Fives offered. Trees smirked. Skywalker had quite the reputation.

Zero shrugged. “I guess? Dunno, maybe she’s just crazy in a different way.”

“What do you guys do when you’re that small?” Loops prompted further.

“Special stuff--kind of like Rancor, actually. The demo jobs, the stealth missions, that kind of stuff. Each company has a specialty.”

Do-si-do bumped their elbows together lightly. “What’s yours?”

“I’m in Whisper Company. We do stealth and recon and stuff like that. Firebolt is our demo team--that’s… where Troll and Incident are.” He cast a glance towards the ceiling.

Motion drew Trees’ eye to Fives, who had leaned over to whisper something to Echo. Echo thought for a second, then shook his head, a small smile on his face. With Torrent’s reputation, they might like Firebolt, from the sounds of it.

“The other two are Blitz, who hate clankers and bugs more than anyone I’ve ever met, and Enigma, who have made it their sworn mission to hack General Grievous,” Zero finished.

“Hack him?” Sevenset repeated, voicing the confusion on the others’ faces. Except for the commander, because his helmet was still on.

Zero sighed, scratching his head. “Yeah, I dunno. They figure because he’s a cyborg, they can hack his cybernetic parts, right? They’re obsessed. The general totally enables them, too. The Enigma hazing ritual is to hack into a B1 as fast as you can.”

Trees’ face scrunched up slightly. They just kept battle droids around for initiation? That… didn’t seem safe. He and Fours seemed to have similar skeptical reactions to it, but Fives and Echo were nodding along like it made perfect sense. Trees was so glad to be in the 41st.

“What about Whisper?” Loops wanted to know.

Zero just smiled slyly and held up something so they could see. Trees recognized it. Most pilots he’d met had a lucky charm of some kind, either painted on their armor, or their ship, or it was an object they kept with them at all times. Do-si-do had the latter kind: his charm was a dark brown rock with a hole through the center, always in his utility belt. But suddenly it wasn’t.

Do-si-do’s eyes went comically wide for a second, then his hand was flying to the empty pouch on his belt. “What--hey!”

Zero put the stone on the table and slid it to him. “That’s what we do.”

“Steal stuff?” the pilot shot back, snatching the stone up and clutching it to his chest.

“We always give it back.”

Do-si-do was still frowning darkly as he carefully replaced his charm in his belt.

“Huh,” Sevenset nodded. “You guys sound pretty cool. Shame I only learned about you now, honestly.”

“Yeah, it’s okay, we’re usually out of the way, anyway. You know what that’s like, right, Fours?”

The marine stiffened at the sudden attention, and at the subsequent attention from everyone else. Poor guy. “Uh. Yeah.”

“Oh, hey, how’s that mission with Death going?” Sevenset asked him, looking between the marine and the commander. “That’s how he found you right?”

Fours nodded. “Yeah. It’s… good, I guess?”

“They needed the help, that’s for sure,” the commander added. “Although, Bacara’s doing a pretty good job without the general around.”

Trees nodded, remembering General Mundi had assisted on Geonosis, and likely hadn’t been cleared to return to the Nova Corps yet after the assault. Some of the others looked a little lost, though. He reminded them.

“How long do you think he’ll be out?” Fours asked quietly. Trees couldn’t tell if it was genuine concern behind the question or curiosity.

He shrugged. “No idea. I never actually saw him, he was with the two-twelfth most of the time.”

The commander made some nonverbal reply to that before adding, “Well, at least he’ll be coming back. Geonosis has done worse before.”

He would know. Trees had looked him up after his first appearance, just like he had done for them. Commander Sixes had taken part in the first assault on Geonosis over three years ago. As Trees had dug a little deeper, he’d discovered almost nothing but casualty reports in connection. The commander had lost all but three of his original unit that day. Of the three left, two had died in combat, and the third just had a lot of “unknowns” in the report. That might explain the prickly shell of a personality.

Yeah, well, there weren’t brain worms the first time, Trees thought, rubbing his face tiredly. He then realized he’d spoken out loud when the guys who hadn’t been there first balked at him. Whoops.

“Brain worms?” Loops repeated, recoiling, his nose scrunched in disgust. Fours had a similar, though silent, reaction.

“Should’ve had Blitz Co there,” Zero remarked, barely fazed by the revelation.

The commander was oddly silent.

Trees shook his head. “Yeah, well, I’m tired, so I’m gonna turn in. Make sure you add Fours and Zero to the comm link.”

Sevenset nodded. “Will do, Green Bean.”

Trees leveled a deadpan stare at him. “Zero’s green too, get creative. And you’re not the only ARC now, ‘ARCBoi with five i’s,’” he told him, then clicked off the holoprojector.

-------

RedBoiiiii: [image file]

RedBoiiiii: LOOK AT THE NEW ARCS LOOK AT THEM!!!!!

Double Trouble: Yes!! Congrats, guys!

d0nut man: yay! nice paint

high fives: hey how’d you get that so fast??

RedBoiiiii: i know a guy :)

Fives+1: thanks do si do

high fives: echo what is your name

Fives+1: *long sigh*

RedBoiiiii: lol you can change it if you want. i’m the only one with the power to change other people’s names bc i created the chat

BetterDomino: got it

high fives: hey

Double Trouble: oof

d0nut man: hey my buddy Pixel has a handprint too

d0nut man: but he sprays paint around his hand instead of putting the paint on it to make the shape

high fives: oh neat

d0nut man: what’s yours for echo?

BetterDomino: captain rex put a handprint on my original kit on our first mission

high fives: in blood

RedBoiiiii: BLOOD???

BetterDomino: not human blood to be clear

Leafs: and that makes it better???

Leafs: oh maker’s sake, sevenset, really? Leafs?

RedBoiiiii: >:3

BetterDomino: it was rishi eel blood

d0nut man: oh okay

Double Trouble: that tracks

Double Trouble: oh does this mean you’re heading back to the 501st?

RedBoiiiii: yes :’((((

high fives: yeah we got back a couple hours ago

RedBoiiiii: i cri

DEATH: sack up sevens, kamino has enough water without you adding to it

RedBoiiiii: why do you only come into these chats to roast me?

DEATH: you keep standing in firepits

Double Trouble: ouch

high fives: commander sixes sir

BetterDomino: oh no i saw his face

high fives: that was amazing

BetterDomino: aaaaaaand fives has a new idol

high fives: hey echo you wanna come down off your bunk and say that?

BetterDomino: nope im all comfy

Leafs: kick his ass fives

high fives: >:)

Loopy: okay well you guys have been busy

Loopy: oh! Congrats domino the kits look awesome

RedBoiiiii: LOOPS!

BetterDomino: thanks loops!

Loopy: hi sevenset, how are those burns treating you?

RedBoiiiii: what burns

DEATH: you know

Loopy: yeah those :)

RedBoiiiii: ah

WELL IT'S BEEN A SIZZLIN' SECOND SINCE I POSTED PART 2 but that's okay :) Life has been a bit hectic, and also I forgot. Also!! Zero belongs to my dear friend @23-bears and the 118th lads and General Bala have their own blog: @118th-special-forces. Go say hi! And yes, I have part 4 written, so hopefully it won't be another EON between chapters 😬

@blsmjoon @nintendolover13 @darth-void @glubtheflyingfish @peacefulwizardfox @theultimatesandwich @alamogirl80

[babygirlkiki1016]

Masterlist

Chapter 3: Trolls

Chapter 4: Between two races.

After the nasty business with the Trolls, Thorin believed there to be a cave nearby. We gathered our things and placed them back up onto the ponies. While our steeds waited for our return, we headed to the Troll Hoard. It was filled with riches and gold, something that the dwarves would love.

"Oh, what’s that stench?!" Bofur placed a hand over his nose so he wouldn't have to smell the odor.

"It’s a troll hoard, be careful what you touch," Gandalf warned, the dwarves cough from the foul smell, then as they go deeper inside the cave they come upon the trolls’ treasure. While the dwarves searched the weapons laying around, something caught my eye. It wasn't a blade or dagger, it was a stone, a light blue jewel with the same symbol on my back. Each digonisk family member, when they wished to join the armies a mark would be imprinted in their skin to show their family's crest. Mine was a black dragon with red eyes, it traveled from my waist up to my back to my chest. The stone had the same symbol upon it, up until the last detail. And on the other side, it had letters from my language. If you were reading it in English, it would have said home, but to me, I read it as 'Pilias'. Home, did it mean the old kingdom of Larthas? The stone looked so familiar but I just couldn't place it, where did it come from? Where did the trolls find this?

"Let’s get out of this foul place. Come on, let’s go. Bofur, Gloin, Nori. Y/n." Thorin called catching my attention, but his eyes were upon the stone in my hand. "What is that?" It was too late to hide it now, but perhaps he hadn't seen the runes upon it.

"Just a stone, nothing special but I have a knack for these things." I gave him a fake smile, but he rushed over and held out his hand. He knew I was hiding something, if I were to refuse to give it to him he would become more suspicious about my intentions.

"Hand it over." He demanded, his eyes piercing into mine. All eyes were on us, my hand shakily placed it in his. Once his eyes landed on it, he seemed confused but handed it back to me. "I should've known you would carry something that has the language of your kin." He growled leaving the cave, I let out a breath in relief. I'm glad he could care less about the stone, as we exit the cave the two brothers come up to me.

"Are you alright Y/n?" Kill asked, checking me for any wounds, giving him a small smile I nod.

"Don't worry, I'm alright." My gaze goes down to the object in my hand, and they follow it.

"What is that? What does it say?" Fili asked, hesitantly taking it from me to get a better look.

"In my language, it says Pilias, which means home," I explained as he ran his finger over the carvings, examining it with great caution. The both of them grinned at the design, but it soon faltered as Thorin yelled a warning. Something was coming our way, It sounded like thumping, not hooves or paws of a wolf, but rabbits.

"Stay together! Hurry, now! Arm yourselves!" Gandalf shouted, Kili and Fili stood in front of me protectively. Summoning a bow for myself, Thorin watched in curiosity at the magic I had used. Suddenly Radagast bursts through the bushes on his sled.

"I knew I heard rabbits." I grinned and stepped forward to greet my old friend.

"Radagast. It’s Radagast the Brown!" Gandalf announces as puts his sword away and approaches the brown wizard. Radagast smiled at him for a second but when he saw me he gasped. Before he could ask why I was with dwarves, Gandalf continued. "What on earth are you doing here?"

"I was looking for you, Gandalf. Something’s wrong. Something’s terribly wrong." He was right, the more we traveled across the land the more I felt a darkness come upon us.

"Yes?" Radagast goes to speak but stops, almost as if he lost his train of thought.

"Just give me a minute. Um…Oh! I had a thought and now I’ve lost it. It was…it was was right there, on the tip of my tongue! Oh! It’s not a thought at all! It’s a silly old…stick insect." He sticks his tongue out as Gandalf removes the insect and gives it back to him. The two eventually went off to speak about something, leaving the rest of us to ourselves. Balin gave me and the two brothers a look, Fili and Kili understood but I did not know what was going on.

"Perhaps one of us should stay here," Kili suggested to his brother. "Just in case the others go off the rails."

"Right, I'll speak to uncle. You have 10 minutes, just be careful Y/n, and if anything happens scream as loud as you can." My heart was pounding as Fili went off to distract Thorin, Kili sensed my distress.

"What is going on?" Kili placed a gentle hand on my shoulder, showing that I had nothing to worry about.

"Me, Balin, and Fili have decided to try and convince the rest of the dwarves that your not a threat. As each day passes Thorin becomes angrier with you, and one day we might not be able to protect you. Though if we convince the rest that your no threat then they'll be willing to protect you against my uncle."

"I can handle myself against a few dwarves Kili."

"I know, but Balin said it's better to have allies than none. Don't worry, I'll be here to protect you." He whispers and led me towards the others, I still didn't trust this idea. Why are they so determined on helping me?

"Lads while we have a moment," Balin spoke, looking back towards me for a second. "I beg that you be open-minded, and none of you speak of this to Thorin."

"What is it, brother?" Dwalin spoke stepping closer, he glanced over at us. "Is Kili trying to court Y/n?" My cheeks went red at that, Kili only looked at me and smirked. Wait, courting, Kili winked at me last night when he handed my bowl. One of the courting parts was for the interested person, to give their 'one' more food than the rest. It was a way of showing that they could provide for them. Was Kili trying to court me?

"No, we only have a short time so I'll say this quick. How many of you, know the truth about Digonisks? How many of you believe that they had nothing to do with raiding villages?" No one raised their hands, they all just looked at each other in confusion. "That is what I thought, each of you has been misled. Digonisks are not the enemy, they're the peacekeepers of middle earth."

"They slaughtered out people! Listen to yourself, Balin! She has you under her spell! Under a curse!" Before anyone could react Dwalin rushed over to me, and grabbed me by the shoulders with his weapon pointed at my neck. "You let go of my brother you witch!" His hand came in contact with my cheek, I waited for him to hit me again but I did not feel the impact. Balin and Kili stood in front of me, and both of them were furious.

"She does not have me under a spell! I know that her kind is innocent for a fact! For I am the one, who wrote the reports." Everyone's eyes widened in shock at his words, that can't be Thror was the one who wrote them. "Thror found out that I had written the truth, but while he was under the dragon sickness he ordered for me to show no one. He took it from me and threatened that if I were to show anyone I would be framed for murder. I and Thrain were the only people who knew about it, and we kept it a secret for we had no idea there was any digonisk left alive. I wanted to tell everyone, but after the cold blast, I realized if the truth were to come out people would despise us as they despise her kin. And I couldn't do that to my family, I didn't want my family to be treated as such."

"So you kept it a secret cause you were afraid of being treated like we had been for almost a hundred years?! Do you have any idea how much pain and suffering my people have been through?!" Each dwarf looked down in shame, they couldn't believe what they had heard. For all this time Balin knew the truth and he kept it to himself, cause he didn't want for his kin to be driven to hide in the shadows. "I can't believe this, why didn't you say anything at the beginning of this journey? Why didn't you say anything to Thorin?"

"He would not believe me! He may be reasonable but without hard evidence, he wouldn't believe the words that slipped from my mouth. Like Dwalin he would've hurt you, or worse, left you for dead."

"Then why tell them?"

"Thorin is becoming sick, every day we get closer to the mountain the more his need for gold grows. I've seen it, the dragon sickness is already taking effect. Them, they would believe me, for I do not lie." I wanted to blame him, but he was right. I would've probably made the same call as well, if my kin made a huge mistake and I knew the truth I probably wouldn't have told anyone. And with Thorin, that darkness that is following us, what if it's him? The dragon sickness, what if that is what I keep sensing? If he truly has it then he would not believe Balin, for he would most likely blame me. "Brother, the rest of you. I beg that you protect her against him, for he is not himself. And each day as that illness grows so does the hatred for digonisks."

"That day, of the cold blast...you were innocent weren't you?" Dwalin asked softly, he didn't seem angry anymore. He seemed on his guard but not angry as someone had betrayed him.

"We were, we had done nothing wrong but your kind had to take my kins freedom over some rumor. You know for years I wanted revenge for what the humans and dwarves had done to my kind. I wanted to end every life for the death of my family, but even in their darkest hour my mother and father still offered a truce. Even though you all slaughtered my kin like cattle, but I promised my mother something before she died." Tears ran down my cheeks as I thought her last words. I looked down, not being able to look them in the eyes. I almost couldn't finish my speech, just thinking about how much we suffered made me want to lunge at them. Made me want to hurt them but it wasn't them who did this, it was their ancestors. "No matter how much it hurts to be around you, I still kept my promise...Do you want to know what her last words were?" My gaze met his once more and he seemed more startled, his eyes widened with horror and remorse. I could feel that he was starting to understand my words and my past. "Her last words were, 'don't take revenge.' Even after everything you had done to us, after every death you had caused, she still begged for peace..." Dwalin's form made his way over to me, Kili gripped the handle of his sword as a warning but he didn't care. Instead, Dwalin slightly pushed him to the side, and then embraced me in his arms. Was he hugging me?

"I'm sorry you had to go through that, all of it. I wish we hadn't caused you such discomfort." He pulled back, his hands resting on my shoulders. "I recognized the pain in your eyes, it's the same suffering my brother had when we finished the war against our enemies in Moria. Only a person who experienced something like that is the only one I can believe." He placed himself next to me, I felt more confident now that we had him for we had a better chance at convincing the others. "Who else will join me? Who else will stand against Thorin's wrath if it comes to it?" The rest stood there, some with tears and others with a look of guilt. Bilbo, came to my side, he didn't know much about our past but I'm glad he was on my team. Kili grabbed my hand, squeezing it, telling me it was ok. Each dwarf, one by one came closer to me bowing their heads in respect.

"Don't worry Y/n, we will all defend you from Thorin. Each of us will make sure he never finds out about this, and if he does we'll protect you." Bofur who was the last dwarf to walk over bowed. Which was a good thing, because now I had all dwarves as allies. And just in time to, because Thorin came back with his nephew flustered. Fili seemed angrier than ever, was talking to his uncle that bad? Interrupting my thoughts, we heard a howling noise, making Bilbo worry.

"Was that a wolf? Are there…are there wolves out there?" He asked curiously, that was not a wolf, and I knew exactly what that was.

"Warg scouts are nearby." I pulled my weapon out once more just as something growls from behind us, we all turn to see a warg. It pounces going for Bofur but I shot it with an arrow killing it instantly. Another appeared from behind, which was killed by Thorin and Kili.

"Who did you tell about your quest, beyond your kin?" Gandalf charged over to Thorin with rage in his eyes.

"No one."

"Who did you tell?!" He asked again but he replied with the same answer.

"No one, I swear! What in Durin’s name is going on?"

"You are being hunted." Hunted? Why would the dwarves be hunted? No one else knew about our quest, perhaps they were coming for me?

"We have to get out of here." Dwalin exclaimed but Ori came running from the side.

"We can’t! We have no ponies. They bolted." He panted heavily, crap, no ponies no way out. We could fight them, but what good would that do us?

"I’ll draw them off." Radagast says getting back onto his sled.

"These are Gundabad wargs. They will outrun you!" Gandalf states but he raised his hand in a fist determined.

"These are Rhosgobel rabbits. I’d like to see them try." Gandalf turns to me and gestures towards him.

"Go, don't worry you will see us again. I believe you know where we are headed." Rivendell, that's where he was leading the dwarves. Quickly I got on the back on Radagasts sled and readied my bow.

"Absolutely not!" Thorin growled as he grabbed my arm, but Fili pushed him away.

"Don't you lay a hand on her!" He yelled, I could hear him arguing with his uncle as we race off towards an unknown location. As we were being pursued by Orcs and wargs, I shot them one by one with my ethereal arrows. I had one hand on the sled to keep me on while the other would shoot arrows from my crossbow, I smiled as I took one down.

"So are you going to tell me what you're doing with a bunch of dwarves?" Radagast yelled trying to hold on the best he could.

"Gandalf wants me to kill Smaug! Don't worry all of them know who I am, and they're fine with it!" I explained, that seemed to be a good enough reason for him. I shot a few more down, but the more we were chased, the riskier it got for the company. I would see them every so often, and soon they were found. All of the orcs stopped following us, and followed them instead. The moment we stopped at the edge of the forest I went to go save my friends until I spotted elves charging towards the orc pack. That's good, I thought sighing in relief.

"Don't worry, your friends are on their way to Rivendell. Which you should be there before them, they will want to make sure you're ok. Be careful, not many people will be open to the idea of having your kind around." That was the last thing he said before going off on his own again. He was right, I should probably get going. Spreading my wings, I fluttered them creating a big gust of wind as I made my way to Rivendell. I flew over the mountain with the hidden valley coming into view and spotted the dwarves below on a rock staring down at the city before them. Yet as they felt the winds of a hurricane they all looked up towards me, some cheered knowing I was ok and quickly made their way down the mountain to meet me at the entrance. I began to descend, my feet contacted with the concrete stone on the passageway.

"Wocel. (Wecome)" Lindir greeted in Digon as he came down the steps, his long hair flowing down his back.

"I see your Digon has gotten better, have you been studying for me?" I joked, giving him a small smile, it has been a while since I've stopped in Rivendell. This is where most of our wheat and water sources come from, for we live in the sky and have no access to the ground. "Wiher isi Kigna Elrond? (Where is King Elrond?)"

"It may have gotten better, but I still don't understand some words in your language. So English please milady." His gaze turns to someone behind me, to greet the old grey wizard who was at fault for bringing me on this journey. "Mithrandir."

"Ah, Lindir." Gandalf greeted, but that's not the type of greeting I got. Thorin's eyes roamed over my body, and he gasped as he saw the bruise forming on my face.

"What did I tell you? You can't handle yourself!" He yelled, pointing to the purple markings on my cheek. "Like I said, your nothing but a burden to this company. Perhaps you should leave the work to the real warriors."

"Enough Thorin! That is from no orc, it is from me." Dwalin turned to face him with a furious look, though he glanced at his hand in disappointment. "I struck her for hitting you, and she did not expect it."

"So not only is she weak, but blind as well. Only the more reason as to why she shouldn't be here, this is no place for filth like her."

"Don't call me that." I whispered tears sprung to my eyes, it's like I was weak around him. As if I couldn't handle my posture when he was in my presence, what can't I stay strong? Why do his words hurt me more than others? All he did was shake his head.

"How can you expect to fight a dragon when you act like a child." I did nothing this time, I didn't hit him, I didn't strike him. I just turned away and went to go to the garden but he spoke once more. "Your weak, just like the rest of your kin that died in the cold blast."

"What did you just say to me?" My eyes turned red as my wings spread, he wasn't smiling anymore. "You call me weak? I'll show you weak!" With one blast of my magic, I threw him back making him hit the white bridge. He let out a gasp of air, trying to gather his breath but I had knocked the wind out of him. I wasn't done with him, I made my way over with a sword in hand. "You think you can take me on?" I brought down my sword, quickly he blocked. "You think that your stronger than me?!" I struck again, this time cutting his cheek. "I AM Y/N! THE QUEEN OF THE DIGONISKS! THE SOUL OF THE BLACK DRAGON!" He blocked each time I went to hit him, he didn't hit me back, he just stared at me in horror. I brought down my weapon once more, and this time he couldn't block, for he was to slow. My weapon stopped as it was pointed at his neck, and I smirked at the fear that was painted on his face. "You will do well to respect me, for you have just been bested. So Thorin, any words?" He kept silent as he stood, sheathing his blade. I returned to my normal form, and walked off towards the sanctuary.

Elrond wouldn't mind, Rivendell was like my second home anyways. Elves besides wizards were the only ones who knew what happened that day. They knew that my people weren't terrible, they knew the truth. Walking through the garden, my mind swirled with thoughts. My actions didn't help my case that I was innocent, what I had just done to their king was not right. I shouldn't have been so careless, I should've kept calm. Let's just hope they all forgive me, for I need their help to get through this journey.

~♪♠♪~

The sun began to set, making everything an orange shade, and the water down below was just gorgeous. I missed land, our floating island wasn't that big and we barely had room for farms. I wish we could go back to Larthas, hopefully, once I get those scrolls we can return home.

"Y/n." A gruff voice called, he stood next to me, arms folded against his chest. The cut on his cheek had been tended to, it wasn't as deep as I thought it was. Tears sprung to my eyes, I didn't feel like dealing with him right now. And the thought of his words from earlier hurt me more.

"Please go away." My words came out like a whisper, he didn't say anything as he joined me on the balcony. He sent me a look of remorse as he noticed the tear that slipped down my cheek. "I do not want to deal with your hatred right now."

"I do not have hatred for you."

"Really? Cause that's how you acted this entire trip. All because of where I come from, you see me as nothing but an enemy...I've tried my hardest to keep calm but you're making it hard. Why do you hate me so much? What have I've done to you? I barely know you!" His hand hesitantly slipped over mine, he clutched it gently, I wanted to pull away but I also wanted to enjoy this moment. It was very rare that I would have a moment like this with him, where he was nice.

"...I'm sorry, your right I have been acting rudely. I shouldn't have said the things I said. It was wrong for me to speak in such a way...I worry, I worry that you'll turn your back on us. That you're not here to slay Smaug, that your here to kill us."

"If I wanted to kill you I would've done it already, besides Gandalf wouldn't bring me along if he knew I would do such a thing." As much as I wanted to beat the crap out of Thorin for hurting me, I understand how he felt. I have to worry about myself, I have to worry if they've poisoned me or not. Or if they're planning to kill me, it was all so frustrating. "I know you hate me, but you shouldn't, for I am not the one who slaughtered your kin. Even if my kind had, I was too young to be a soldier during that time. And I'm pretty sure you were too young to be a soldier when the cold blast happened. So truth is, we shouldn't hate each other for something our ancestors did." I glanced over at him, a look of guilt spread across his face as he became deeper in thought. His eyes became glossy for a moment, but he blinked them away and smiled at me.

"Your right, we shouldn't hate each other for something we weren't there for." He seemed nervous, almost as if he had to choose his words carefully. "It's not like I could've been there at the cold blast, it was almost two hundred years ago." There was sarcasm in his voice, I had a feeling he was lying to me about something, the cold blast was a hundred years ago. Not two, how old was he? "Perhaps we could start over?" He looked at me with hope, his body became incredibly close to mine. I couldn't help but smile at his efforts.

"I'd like that."

@fili-is-my-lover @kirenia15 @lunariasilver @depressedchilipepper @tschrist1

[hypermanga]

Of braids and jealousy (Thorin Oakenshield x reader)

Requested by: @queenofmankind​

Request: Can I request a jealous Thorin Oakenshield please when he saw that the reader  has allowed Kili to braid her hair because in the dwarves custom that is a display of intimacy & possession but the reader don’t know that because she’s human?  

Word count: 1469

It was a particularly hot summer day as the Company of Thorin Oakenshield made its way to Erebor to retrieve the ancient dwarven kingdom from the claws of a northern dragon.

This would be something understandable if you were from Middle Earth, but this wasn't the way you wanted to spend your spring break: you'd been cleaning your dorm when you'd come across an old dusty book at the bottom of one of your cupboards. You recognized it as your aunt Talulah's birthday gift, which she had given you while she said: "Every book holds an adventure in it, just dare to enter it fully". As you'd turned the first page you had felt the world around you disappear as a black hole sucked you into the book.

Just your luck, you'd landed in a tree near what you would soon learn was called 'The Shire' , surprising the Company. It took you a while to reason to them and explain why you were wearing the clothes you wore, but thanks to Gandalf's gift of speech, you'd managed to land yourself a place in the group.

Since then you'd faced many dangers, noone your age may believe if told so. Not that everything was bad; the Company was a fun little group, and everyone had been really welcoming of you.

What you didn't count on is becoming emotionally attached to the dwarves, especially to the leader. Sure, he was much older than you, but he carried himself with a mixture of pride and nostalgia that drew you to him. More often than not you would drift off thinking what it would be like to become his queen, thoughts that you quickly shoved aside every time you noticed them because that was something proper for a fifteen-year-old full of foolish dreams. 

Yet, who would have told your fifteen-year-old self that you would get sucked into a book?  

~~~~

"Kili, could you help me with something?" The young dwarf had left the sausage he was cooking, sighing sadly as his brother stole it from him, and made his way to you "Tell me, and it shall be done" He crossed his arms proudly, making you chuckle "It's just, it's so hot in he-Don't you dare pull me an 'it's because I'm here' crap" At that he closed his mouth, earning a full laugh "I see that everyone had braids, and I was wondering if you could braid my hair to feel better, I fear I'm going to cut my hair with one of your swords if I don't do something about this" You had grabbed the ends of your hair, making puppy eyes to Kili, who got behind you and started to work. After a couple of minutes, your hair was tied in a beautiful braid, which surely would help you through the hot summery nights "Do women from your world not know how to do braids?" "Most of them do, but I was never interested in doing so"Shrugging, you stood up when Bilbo, Balin and Thorin returned from deciphering the map "Well, how did it go?" You asked the older dwarf, who grimaced "We need to reach the mountain before Durin's day, which is the end of summer" "Is it near?" "Far too near, we must-" Thorin's voice came to a halt once his eyes landed on you "We leave at morning" He cut his intervention short as he made his way past you "Did I do something?" You asked nobody in particular, as everyone busied themselves with packing.

You casted a glance at the Company's leader. He had been wearing a stern expression since Rivendell, probably because establishing relationships with elves wasn't something the dwarves enjoyed very much as you'd learned. That wasn't anything new, but he also had been actively avoiding you "Don't worry (Y/N), he's just wary of you as he is of me. We don't belong in here" Bilbo shrugged, not preoccupying himself of what Thorin thought of him.

But that was what worried you: you were lost in a world you thought was fictionary and in the middle of a quest which you needn't be part of, yet you had fought vigorously to save the Company from the trolls and were prepared for anything, and so this display of behaviour surprised you negatively.

As per our favourite dwarf king, he spent day and night thinking what he'd done wrong: everyone in the Company except for you and Bilbo picked up his display of affection, such as protecting you in case something happened as well as being caring despite his lack of trust to anyone outside his kin. 

And still, Kili had won your heart. Perhaps it was a matter of age, as he wasn't one for pulling pranks or being 'fun', not with the task he carried on his hands. 

Now, as he couldn't retract himself from his words or feelings, he opted for focusing on his mission and hope that you wouldn't be affectionate with Kili in front of him, and hoped his feelings for you would leave. 

~~~~~~

One night, you decided you had enough.

"Thorin, may  I have a word with you? Privately" He just nodded reluctantly, guiding you just after the treeline "Okay, so what's wrong with you and me?" Your tone surprised him, not expecting you to be so straightforward with your question. Nevertheless, he didn't bulge "Nothing" "C'mon, if I have to stay all night for you to spit it out I'm going to, is not my first sleepless night after all" You crossed your arms as you supported yourself with a nearby tree "I said nothing" 

It was going to be a long night.

"So...Who wants to bet in which one gets down from his high horse?" "Lad, I think I will pass in this one...The lass has some if she goes toe to toe with Thorin" Dwalin smirked, lowkey hoping this would help his friend spill how he felt about you.  

"...I fought to save your life!" Another string of shouts broke the silent night, as the Company tossed coins between themselves as the fight went on "So what! Nobody asked you to do so!" "I did because I wanted to, don't you understand? I'm in a world where everything is foreign to me...And you had been really friendly with me, what happened?" 

Thorin couldn't bear to look at your eyes, his guilt too strong to prevent him from doing it "Who braided your hair?" That question completely threw you off "Wait-" Your tone stopped being pointed, yet your features remained like so "All this is because of the damn braid?" "Aye, because this dumbass right here didn't put his crap together to ask you out before Kili did" Dwalin came to view, tired of the back and forth  "Kili did not ask me out!" "Then why did you let him braid your hair?!" Thorin pointed out your braid "Wow...Let me get this straight. Correct me if I'm wrong, but by letting Kili braid my hair I'm automatically 'dating' him?" 

The two dwarves nodded as Dwalin calmed Thorin down from his outburst "First of all, what the heck is this? I only let him braid my hair because it was hot and don't know how to braid it myself; Second, this proofs tradition can lead to some serious misunderstandings; Third, Thorin were you going to ask me out?" Your face was red, from anger or embarrassment, only god knows "Aye, he was" Dwalin answered for the king, who looked just as baffled as you were "Is that true, Thorin?" "Didn't I tell you-" "I want to hear it from his lips, Dwalin" You interrupted the gruff dwarf, who just crossed his arms in exasperation "Thorin, I suggest you do so, nobody is going to be as stubborn as this lass...Or will put up with your pride" Thorin snickered at that, swallowing his pride "If you will still take me, an old man who becomes a dwarfling when musting up the courage to ask a pretty lass out-" You smiled, a tired but victorious one "Come here, you big oaf" You opened your arms, a gasp escaping your lips when Thorin lifted you "I'll leave you to it" Dwalin muttered, but you were in your own little world, with the background noise of groans and cheers -depending on their bets- of the Company's members.

Sure, there was a lot of communication and long hours of knowing eachother further -given your cultural backgrounds- to make it work, but not like every day you get to have a dwarf king as your boyfriend, right?

MASTERLIST

REQUESTS ARE OPEN!

[hiraphane]

Things in Fire Emblem: Three Houses that after 200+ hours still never fail to get to me (word vomit incoming):

When you’re sprinting around the monastery at the speed of light, the number of NPCs that exclaim “what the-?!” as you nyoom past them

“Please do not eat the weeds”

Sylvain’s pick-up formula that becomes incredibly apparent when you’re catching up on his support scenes with the girls - “Hey [name], you look really cute when you’re [activity/mood].”

Felix’s disdain for his father. Idk if I’m projecting but something about him unabashedly tearing his father a new one every time they see each other is incredibly therapeutic for me. Honestly, just listening to Felix verbally eviscerate people in general is incredibly satisfying. Go OFF on them, Fe!

The dramatic irony and humor that can be had/found on subsequent playthroughs when you know Seteth and Flayn’s full backstories. So many little things that I didn’t think twice about my first run are suddenly hilarious. (”Which [Saint] is your favorite, Professor?” I know your game, fish girl)

Upside down Claude memes

Hilda absolutely DESTROYING the entire enemy force and then complaining that she’s a delicate flower and the battlefield is no place for her like HONEY YOU’RE A TANK, EMBRACE IT

Placing Dedue in a choke point and activating his trait skill, then watching and laughing as people try and fail to barrel through this impassable mountain of a man, usually killing themselves in the process.

“Stay away!” Bernadetta screams in terror before absolutely erasing a man/woman/otherwise from existence.

“Burn until we meet again.”

“It’s all becoming clearer.”

Literally any and all of Sylvain’s kill/level quotes. He’s carried my dumb ass through so many battles I could probably recite them all in my sleep

How I never fail to - out loud - say “Thot” every time Sylvain’s “Be gone” kill line plays

The much more obscure reference of me - out loud - asking “For combat?” every time Ashe announces “I must steel myself!”

Feral Dimitri

“You lost to ME?” / “*sigh* and I didn’t even enjoy it.” / “You overestimated yourself.” - These are just some of the ones that come immediately to mind, but imagine, if you will, being absolutely destroyed by a pink haired loli or a sleepy wizard or an otherwise very delicate looking high school aged child and then hearing - as you pull in your last dying breath - them say that to you, as they stand over your mangled body. Seriously, these children are fucking savages.

How Sylvain, despite bitching and moaning about crest babies his entire support chain, will inevitably have boatloads of children if you get him a paired ending with a female character. I know his hypothetical family is a product of love not careful breeding, but it’s just hilarious to me. This man went from being pathologically terrified of / disgusted by the idea of continuing his family tree to adding entire branches to it. What an absolute Lad.

Sylvain and Felix’s paired endings. I love my boys so much.

Dedue and Mercedes’ paired ending / Dedue and Byleth’s paired ending. They’re the only Dedue endings I’ve seen so I can’t speak for any of his other endings, but they’re so damn wholesome they make me wanna die.

How much I relate to Bernadetta

How Edelgard goes from “stone cold bitch” to “useless lesbian” depending on whether you go Black Eagles or not

Hubert’s sense of humor. The number of times this man has startled me into a fit of laughter with his dry wit is insane.

Manuela and Hanneman’s bickering

Just how fucking broken Mercedes is as a healer. She heals herself 100% of the health she heals other people AND she can use Physic (meaning she can heal from a distance, which end-game essentially allows her to heal from across the map) WHO ALLOWED THIS ABSOLUTE LASS TO EXIST AND CAN I MARRY THEM????

Dancer Felix / Hubert. What can I say? I like my Dancers feral or otherwise vapid as fuck.

Trickster Dorothea, AKA the embodiment of my gay thirst. Get Dancer Thea outta here, Trickster Thea is where its at.

Hapi. Just Hapi.

LET ME MARRY HAPI AS A FEMC IM BEGGING YOU PLEASE

Mercedes being a gigantic troll and nobody being able to tell if it's intentional or she's just oblivious

Petra and Cyril’s supports and their paired ending. The way they promise “forever and ever” and Cyril doesn’t even stop to think about where Rhea will be during that “forever” is just *chef’s kiss* (literally any support where Cyril doesn’t mention Rhea is *chef’s kiss*)

“IS THIS SOME KIND OF SICK JOKE?!”

Just how fucking offended Ferdinand gets when you try to give a lost item to him but it isn’t his. Like chill out man it wasn’t a concentrated attack on your noble honor, I was literally just asking to be nice and cover my bases.

Lorenz and Leoni’s meal dialogue - “Ugh, you sound like my mother...”

“I lost my brother to bandits... is something I’m sure somebody’s said at some point.” On my first playthrough that was such a YIKES joke from Sylvain, but now when I play I just feel bad because that was him trying to open up and be serious and then he immediately chickened out and backpedaled and came off as a total ass because of it. (I know Miklan didn’t die to bandits, but he ran off to be a bandit and to Sylvain I feel like that might as well be the same thing. Also can we talk about how Sylvain still obviously cares about his brother even though he literally TRIED TO KILL HIM MULTIPLE TIMES THROUGHOUT THEIR CHILDHOOD AND WAS RAMPANTLY ABUSIVE TO HIM, PLEASE SOMEBODY HUG MY BOY!!!!)

Dimitri being the literal hulk and struggling not to break everything he touches

Dorothea and Marianne having themselves listed under their dislikes like BABIES PLEASE LOVE YOURSELVES

The percentage of students who have “ghosts” somewhere on their likes or dislikes. Why are they so relevant? 

How you can infer Edelgard’s entire backstory from her dislikes

“GREETINGS, PROFESSOR!”

Yuri and Hubert literally threatening to kill Byleth and me looking around like John Travolta every time like “DID ANYBODY HEAR THAT?!?!?!?!”

Me holding Dedue, Felix, and post TS Dimitri back by the scruffs of their necks as they desperately try to solo every map I deploy them on. Like BOYS, please, contain your murder. I know they attacked you first, but the second line needs EXP too.

Forming a protective circle around Dedue during the attack on Enbarr in Verdant Wind, like if ANYTHING happens to my boy I WILL divine pulse don’t fucking test me (PS Dedue, if you could stop charging ahead and pay attention to my carefully constructed plan of attack, that’d be great)

Edelgard’s little ax twirl on her victory screen

“I AM FERDINAND VON AEGIR!”

[devolympian]

Argo, chapter 4

Argo, chapter 4

Interesting thing to note for when you have what most people consider familial obligations and appointments to meet at a specific time, more often than not, you have the responsibility of waking at a designated time of day. Usually at the ripe healthy time of say, oh I don’t know, 5:15 A.M.

With this set responsibility and a need to earn a living inorder to drive a consumer centric economy with which one needs to survive in it is best to get the recommended amount of sleep 

So, between the multiple rounds of personal gaming tournaments, mountains of junk food and soda, and completely being unwilling to actually go to bed, I can proudly say none of us did that as about three hours after we had all decided to crowd into Skyes bed a loud beeping noise filled the room.

“Well shit” I happily state in an enthusiastic tone as my sleep deprived eyes look up at her ceiling.

“I’ll get it” said an even more sleepless voice to the left of my body, as Skye began to sit up and lean over a still unconscious Clair and I.

She promptly fell on top of us, her massive curly mess of blonde hair practically working as a second blanket that covered the three of us.

“Blondie” I questioned as her green eyes slowly began to close, “you gonna get that one or?”

“Five more minutes.”

And with those words Skye began to softly snore, her chest on top of mine, as she used my shoulder for a pillow.

Clair made sure to do her part by not waking up to the alarm clock and unconsciously wrapping her arms around me and Skye and pulling us into her naked body. 

Yes, Clairabell sleeps naked and it’s perfectly okay that she does so.

With a slight shrug I was perfectly content with letting the alarm clock run its course as I fell back to sleep sandwiched between these too. But, naturally, I remembered that I had a prior engagement to visit some family members who don’t particularly like being stood up.

Shimmying myself upwards I managed to slither out from in between the girls and did my best to step over Clair as she and Skye cuddled under the blanket seemingly unaware that I had left the pile.

Tapping the alarm I went about and started my day.

First thing’s first I made my way to the restroom; stepping over the various soda cans, wrappers, and half finished snacks we had decorated Skyes floor with the night prior (ooh cheetoh, nom), I was determined to perform the most important act of the day which everyone must do regardless of their social political views on it. The brushing of teeth and a warm shower.

Not saying you’re wrong if you don’t do this daily, just saying you need a therapist and time in a mental institute.

Now, let me take this moment to inform you about Skyes bathroom. It is ridiculous, not only because no one needs a personal restroom in their bedroom, but also because of the fact that the place was almost as big as her actual room with a tub that could easily fit three people, yes we’ve tested it, but also a large closet which is now overflowing with various dresses and cute outfits all of which were hand made.

None of these details are important to the story, I feel you should know, they are just my personal thoughts which I felt like sharing.

Anywho, after a nice shower, and making my mouth not smell like ass with the tooth brush I left here, which everyone needs to use TWICE a day, I wrapped the one of Skyes soft pink towels around my hips and headed on over to her dresser.

Now, I think what you’re wondering right now is “Alex, why the hell are you going through your best friend's clothes?” And even if you weren’t I will tell you any ways.

Ever since I was a wee lad Skyes room has been basically my second room, hell I think I’ve slept in her bed more than my own over the years. This was all well and good when we were little and innocent and we could basically fit into each other's clothes, but when this thing called puberty attacked us that started to change.

I got taller, my arms and legs got longer, I started shooting lightning, I got a six pack, a strong jaw, started getting hit on by older women and men even though I was like 12. You know, normal stuff like that.

Skye, on the other hand, went in kind of the opposite direction with her growing less in height and more in boob, and hip. She also gets hit on by older women and men so at least we -    have that experience in common.

In short, I had to start bringing over clothes whenever I stayed the night and sense I stay here a lot, a few of my outfits have more or less made their home in the dresser she keeps her TV and video games on. Granted, we do end up wearing eachothers clothes from time to time, but that’s besides the point.

Pushing our plates from last night to the side and setting the controllers we used back where they went I dropped my towel to the ground and started shifting through the drawer in the search for the allusive boxer shorts.

“Ooh” a tired voice called out, “that’s a nice sight to wake up to.”

I tilted my head in the direction of the bed to see Clair sitting up, her violet eyes still not fully open as she smiled at me.

“Good morning dear” I said, “sleep well, dreams of rainbows and kittens maybe?”

“More like blood, fire, death, all the fun stuff.”

“You and I have very different dreams. . . why am I only noticing that now?”

Clairabell giggled a little, then took a look around the bedroom with her expression changing to slight shock at what she saw.

“Wow, we really made a mess last night.”

“Yes well mortal kombat and super mario bros will do that.”

“Especially if someone spends the game trolling me and Skye!”

“What else was I supposed to do, not hit you with the turtle shell?”

With a sigh. Clair placed the tip of her thumb between her sharp canine teeth and bit down until I could see a bit of blood trickle out.

“Alright gals” she said, holding her hand out infront of her, “be dears and clean this mess up.”

The small amount of blood coming from her thumb quickly started to sizzle and bubbles soon began coming from it.

Every one of the bubbles quickly grew in size, changing color to a dark reddish brown before sprouting bat wings and ears. Each one had a cute cat-like face and little fangs poking out from their adorable smiling mouths.

Soon, Clair had at least ten little blood bats hovering around Skyes room, before they began picking up the mess we had made last night.

Also, I managed to find a pair of my boxers, so this was a huge win for everybody involved.

After stretching a little, Clair stood out of Skyes bed, making sure that the blanket stayed on our blond friend, before picking up her clothes from last night.

“Can’t sleep” I asked as I attempted to hunt down a pair of pants?

“Just thought I might as well wake up” she happily answered as she tossed her dirty laundry into Skyes clothing basket, “don’t want to make you feel lonely now do we?”

“Don’t worry, I know how to entertain myself whenever I’m naked and alone.”

“That’s what every girlfriend wants to hear.”

Just as I had, Clair went into the restroom to get ready for the day ahead.

She brushed her teeth, and I still can’t find a goddamn pair of pants.

“How long do you need to be on Olympus for?” I heard her call out as I slowly lost my mind from lack of lower body wear.

“Probably until ten or twelve hours. I might need to beg for forgiveness if the old man decides to snag a booty call and leaves me to deal with his wife.”

“Your dad’s gross.”

“I know that’s why I have two, but apparently neither of them can bless me with a pair of jeans.”

“Don’t you keep pants in that weird pocket thingy you have?”

“. . .”

Reaching my hand into the air I went ahead and opened the aforementioned pocket thingy, which was a small rip in space which works as a nice little storage space to keep stuff in. To most people it would look as though my hand disappeared into space, and they would be kind of right, one wrong move and my hand is gone. I can get it back, but it takes a while and requires more than two people.

Feeling my way past the treasure, bones, holy grails, and my new little worm buddy I found myself touching what felt like pants and pulled them out.

They were torn a little in the knees and a bit stained but worked for the day.

“Found my pants.”

“I am so proud of you.”

I chuckled a little and prepared to get these things on. But, before I could even slip a leg in, a still naked Clair had managed to get in front of me, wrapped her arms over my shoulder and leaned herself into a kiss.

Naturally, I did what every sane person would do when a naked woman throws herself at them. I grabbed her waist and pulled her close, our naked chest pressing against each other as she forced her tongue passed my lips and we went and explored each other's mouths.

The kiss lasted a good bit of time and I soon found myself pushing Clair against Skyes dresser, my hands sliding down her well toned body as she hooked her thumbs around the elastic band of the boxers I had put on just a moment ago and started pulling them off again.

Eventually we broke the kiss and Clair gave me a smug smile on top of her flushed face.

“Sure you have to go right now?”

With a slight smirk I lifted her onto the top of the dresser, her long legs instantly wrapping around my hips as I leaned in and whispered into her ear.

“I absolutely need to go right now.”

She gave me an annoyed groan before pushing me a little and angrily jumping off the dress as I pulled out a shirt from it.

“Oh come on” I said, laughing a little, “we can’t exactly hook up in Skyes room.”

“She’s sleeping.”

“Her parents are in the room across the hall.”

“I’ll be quiet.”

“I won’t. You know I’m a moaner.”

I wonder if Clairabell glaring angrily at me was a sign that I had annoyed her enough. Naw, I can be more annoying.

After slipping the pants on I popped the shirt I had grabbed over my head.

“That’s Skyes shirt” Clair pointed out as I slid the black tank top on, even though it was rather tight fitting. It had a cute little cartoon panda head smiling on the chest as its cheeks glowed a rosey pink.

“Yes'' I assured her as I fished out a pair of socks and slipped on my boots, “it is most definitely Skyes shirt.”

Clair sighed and patted a sleeping Skye head.

“I’m so sorry for your clothes Skee-skee.”

I watched as Skye slept peacefully next to Clairs lap and felt a slight lump build in my throat.

“Hey” I said without really thinking, “make sure you guys talk, okay?”

Clairabell gave me a confused look; one of her fangs slightly poking out of her upper lip while she tilted her head questioningly.

“Huh? We talk all the time though.”

“Yeah, but. . .”

I thought for a bit, trying to figure out the best words to use to bring up the subject.

“Just, maybe ask her how she’s feeling or something.”

“How does she feel?”

She looked down at blondie again.

“Tired. She’s tired.”

I chuckled and sighed, pushing my uneasy feeling away.

“Yep, that makes sense. Can you open the window for me?”

“Babe, there’s a door.”

“And?”

“. . . good point.”

Upon Clairs instruction a blood bat floated over and pulled Skyes window open for me letting the fresh morning air into the room.

“Thanks,” I said before taking a running start and flinging myself over Skyes bed and out a second story window.

With a loud crash I found myself laying ontop of multiple thorny bushes, the branches digging into my body as I tried to adjust to the aching in my back.

“Perfect landing” I groaned as I got ready to sit up.

“Oh yes, great job” a woman's voice said, “now please get off my plants.”

I turned my head to see two women standing over me. 

The one on the left, who was giving a very annoyed glare, looked like a lighter skinned Skye with bright yellow eyes and had her golden blonde hair tied up into a long ponytail. As was usual for her at this time of the morning, her red tank top and tanned shorts were covered in dirt and mud and black gardening gloves adorned her hands.

The one on the right was dressed up in a white toga like dress with summer lilies braided into her dark hair and she wore a diamond encrusted gold necklace around her throat. Also, her dark green colored eyes had the look of someone who had just watched her son throw himself from a second story window and land on the bushes she had helped her friend plant.

“Morning” I happily said to them before Skyes mom flicked her wrist and the bush, in response to said wrist flicking, jumped up a little and shoved me off of it before settling back into the soil.

“You’re in a chipper mood today” mom said as she helped pull me off the ground.”

“Oh who wouldn’t be when their job entails possible death and dismemberment?”

“Him and the girls practically stayed up the entire night” Skyes mom informed mine, “I swear that Clairabell screams louder than a banshee.”

Moms eyes grew wide as she gave me a once over before looking back at Skyes mom.

“They were playing video games” she assured, having finally realised what she had said.

“Oh thank the gods” my mom said, letting out a sigh of relief.

“In all fairness, Clairabell and I can multitask” I happily informed both of them.

“Alexander, shut up, you are 18, I do not need grandchildren from you yet!”

I laughed at my mom's discomfort, before noticing that a little girl with red hair had wandered up next to her. She was dressed similarly to mom but her dress was a light blue color and the only gold she had on was a pair of golden sandals and a few ringlets on her wrist.

“There’s my girl” our mom happily said, kneeling down to greet my sister, “all ready to go Fiona?”

With half awake eyes Fiona nodded with assurance, doing her best to stay awake. She promptly fell forward having to be caught by our mom.

“Oh sweetheart” mom said, giving Fiona a worried look, “maybe you should stay here.”

“No thank you.”

“She can stay here for the day” Skyes mom stated, “she can take a nap in Luke and Ninas room.”

“That should be fine” mom happily answered before turning back to the little red head, “how about playing with Luke and Nina today?”

“I will later” Fiona stubbornly stated, “I wanna go.”

“Fiona, you can’t be falling asleep though.”

“I won’t, I promise!”

“Honestly” I interjected, “she should be fine coming along. Unless she’s sick or something.”

Lifting her up  by her armpits I held my little sister up in the air.

“You ain’t getting sick on me are ya?”

“No,” Fiona said with a smile.

“Ain’t gonna throw up?”

With this question I tossed the seven year old up into the air, making her laugh like, well like a seven year old.

“Yeah she’s good” I assured our mother, as I still held Fiona.

“ . . .Is Skye ever this stubborn” my mom asked Skyes mom?

“I’m glad she’s not,” she answered, putting her gardening tools away, “makes it easier when I tell her to get rid of things like that.”

She pointed to the pegasus made of water which Skye had created last night in the arcade bathroom.

Like a good healthy horsey, Raindrop had grown in size and was now bigger than your average horse.  

“What” I protested, “you can’t have her get rid of Raindrop! It’s a sweet fragile creature who just wants your love, and understanding, and it just ate a squirrel.”

The clear blue pegasus glared at us as a fluffy brown tail hung from its mouth. 

It slowly backed away out of sight, never breaking eye contact with me specifically. Guess I have a new friend.

“See you later Trinna” mom said, taking Fiona from me and protectively holding her.

And with that, Skyes mom went over to put her tools away and mine started hurrying us over to our house.

“Do you two have everything,” mom asked as she pulled her keys out from her dress pocket.

“Yep” Fiona and I assured her at the same time.

She gives us a smile and a nod before turning to the door into our home and sliding a small golden key inside of the lock.

With a twist of the knob our front door opened up to a brightly lit bridge filled with people, either walking or riding in horse drawn carriages, dressed similarly to mom and Fiona. Far into the distance, at the end of the bridge, was a city built on top of several mountains, the rising sun illuminating the white marble buildings against a still mostly dark sky.

“Woow” I cheered, stretching my arms over my head, “fun trip, honestly the ride up is always the best part.”

“Alex” mom said, closing the door behind us, “what did I say about being a smartass?”

“Go ahead but don’t do it when we’re about to see family.”

“Exactly, and what are we about to do?”

“Visit people you hate?”

Mom lowered her eyes at me, giving me an irritated look.

“I’ll be good in front of grandma” I promised, crossing my fingers behind my back.

With a sigh, my mom locked the door we went through, causing it to sink into the ground and vanish.

“You ain't slick boy.”

I shrugged, perfectly content with my underwhelming slickness, before placing my fingers in my mouth.

Blowing into them, a loud whistle echoed out and the ground beneath us began to shake as a large hole filled with black mud spilled open. Never mind the fact that we were currently on a bridge thousands of miles in the air so a hole like that should just lead down into, well, death.

Speaking of death.

From the black mud, bone white hands started to rise from its murky depths, and latched onto the marble pavement of the bridge. Slowly, four skeletons pulled themselves out, black mud dripping down their skulls and off the dusty dark blue suits they all wore.

Each one had “eyes” of green fire and looked almost identical to each other, with the only difference being a colored rose each wore in the pocket of their suit. Red, yellow, black, and white.

These were my skeletons. Expertly trained, well mannered, professional, cold blooded, and above all else dependable. . . was not what they were.

As the yellow rose stumbled out behind white rose it fell forward, knocking into the latter.

Naturally, White rose raised it’s boney hand and slapped yellow in the face, the rattling of their teeth being loud enough for everyone to hear.

Steadying its skull, yellow turned to white, their flaming eyes lighting up with a dark green as they clutched their coworkers arm and tore it off.

White looked down at its empty sleeve hanging limply to its side while yellow pointed at them with their missing arm, the bouncing flames in its eye sockets indicating that they were laughing.

The flames in whites skull promptly erupted, smoke billowing out of them, as they tackled yellow to the ground.

Smoke and dust covered the ground as white and yellow punched and tore at each other, the latter using the former's arm to slap them in the face. Black rose stumbled forward, attempting to separate them only to be met with a flame shooting up and catching onto their new tie which instantly lit up and was reduced to ash.

Enraged at this insult to not only themselves but also high fashion Black leaped onto the two other skeletons. Red followed suit by elbow dropping all three and joining the pile as they all slapped, bit, hit, and spanked each other.

“. . . Alex, seriously” mom stated, “are you sure you don’t want new servants?”

“Naw” I answered, happily watching these boneheads wrestle, “these guys are perfect.”

Clapping my hands the hole began to bubble again, the bridge shaking even more, as a horse drawn carriage shot out of it like a bullet from the chamber and tore through the four skeletons who all fell to the ground in pieces.

The Carriage was a dark black color, large and round in shape, it looked like something a goth Cinderella would ride inorder to get to the ball and marry a guy she danced with once who only remembered her because he had a thing for feet. There was a bright gold trim on the sides that glowed brightly against the night sky. The wheels were also a gold color with human skulls adorned on the rims and green flames sparking up here and there.

 Attached to the carriage was a horse with pitch black fur with a tail and main glowing with bright green fire. It's onix black eyes surveyed its surroundings making sure there was no enemy nearby as it stomped the marble ground with its strong hooves, small flames lighting up under them as it did so.

“Horsey” Fiona yelled happily as she waved at my helpful stead.

“Hey there Mare,” I said, walking up to her, “how are you doing girl?”

As I reached out to give her a pet on the neck, Mare angrily recoiled and gave me a loud snort. 

“What? No, I didn’t forget about you.”

She neyad loudly, shaking her head from side to side.

“Of course I call you when I need a ride. You’re my horse.”

Stamping the ground, Mare continued to argue, angrily naying and shaking her main.

“Oh that is not fair! It is not my fault that you decided to wreck the neighbors lawn and eat their cat!”

She chattered her teeth and huffed again.

“Look if we had a stable I would absolutely keep you in the backyard but-.”

Mare interjected with a loud inhuman yell as she reared up on her hind legs.

“Oh you don’t bring my bike into this! He is a good boy!”

She landed and shook her head violently.

“Yes it’s a he!”

“Alex” mom said, the now reformed skeletons helping her and Fiona into the carriage, “I know you want her to stay at the house, but it’s not happening. Can we please go?”

“Yeah sure” I answered her.

As she entered the carriage I reached into my little pocket space and pulled out a nice orange carrot for Mare.

“Sorry girl, we’ll convince her somehow.”

She neighed understandingly before happily taking the root vegetable from my hands.

“To the stadium” I yelled at Red as he readied the reins, yellow sitting next to him with treats and a whip in hand. Black and White clung to the back, White still glaring at Yellow with murderous intent, as I swung myself into the inside of it.

As soon as the door was shut we were off, Yellow cracking their whip in the air as Red made sure Mare stayed on course. 

Unlike the black of the carriages outer shell, the seating was a velvet red with enough room to fit six people. The soft upholstery was comfortable and warm to the touch with cushions that made sure you could relax even during the bumpiest of rides.

Naturally, Fiona almost immediately fell asleep, her head resting comfortably on moms lap.

“Hey, she stayed awake longer than usual.”

“Honestly I’m surprised by that” mom said, brushing Fionas hair to the side, “she never gets enough sleep when we have to come up here. I wish she’d stay at home some times, it’s not healthy for a little girl to be up this early.”

“You know that would just cause gran to start whining.”

“If your grandmother really wants to see her she can suck it up and come visit the house.”

“Oh come now, you don’t expect her to live the disgraceful life of staying in a five bedroom, three bath, basement and attic house do you?”

“Well, in all fairness, she’d probably make the neighbors hate us more than they already do.”

We both chuckled a little at Grandmas expense, knowing she probably wouldn’t enjoy hearing this stuff in person. She can be kind of sensitive and natural disaster causing.

Leaning against the door I rested my head on  the window and watched as we rolled past the people walking along the bridge, none of them batting an eye at the carriage driven by four skeletons and drawn by a hell horse. In all fairness compared to the massive skyscrapers in the mountain, the rulers of the city control nature itself, and the fact we can all  breathe despite the altitude, probably making our little vihicall about as interesting as an ant carrying food ten times its size. A neat site but nothing mind blowing.

Granted, ants are pretty mind blowing if you put into perspective how they basically work to create a suitable environment for their colony with everyone having their assigned roles thus allowing them to work as fulfilling members of ant society. 

That being said, this type of government is very totalitarian all things considered so there must be a widespread outbreak of ant uprisings which most likely are quilled by the ants in black suits. You can say they’re not real, but we all know they’re out there.

“So” mom said, interrupting my deep and meaningful inner monologue about ants and ant related conspiracy, “should we talk about what’s been bothering you?”

I sighed and sat up in my seat.

“Oh you know, normal stuff.”

“Define normal for you?”

“Giant monsters, universal travel, blood sucking girlfriend who wants my socially awkward best friend to move into a dorm with her while she’s too scared to say no, oh and a new rpg came out that I am just dying to play.”

“Aw, is my little boy having girl trouble?”

“What can I say, I’m just a modern day Casanova. On a related note, my Italian is getting better.”

Mom rolled her eyes, a smile still on her face as she let out a chuckle.

“Well Giacomo, care to tell your loving mother about your, um, socially awkward blood sucking best girlfriend issue?”

“Blood sucking girlfriend and socially awkward best friend” I corrected, “also, one can summon horses.”

She blinked a bit then sighed.

“I really should have set you up on more play dates with normal kids when you were little.”

“Aw, but if you did that you wouldn’t have met Skyes mom.”

“I don’t mind Skye, reminds me of your dad, kind of. The blood sucking girlfriend is the one I have issues with.”

“Oh Clair isn’t that bad. Plus, if I remember right, you’re partially the one who arranged for me and her dating.”

Mom shrugged at my statement.

“It was either that or have her daddy demand your head on a spike. Now, talk.”

“Dang, knew you weren’t gonna let the issue go.”

I rubbed my neck, feeling a little awkward talking about my friends with my mom. She had more on her plate to deal with other than my personal drama. But, I guess I don’t feel that bad.

“Clairabell has been looking into her and Skye going to college together, and I’m pretty sure Skye doesn’t want to go. But, neither of them are talking about it so, yeah, not really sure what to do.”

Yep, even to me that sounds like a dumb problem that could be easily solved if we all just sat and talked it out. And, based on the look mom was giving me, she probably felt the same.

“Ok” she eventually said, “and in what way is that your problem?”

“Huh?”

“Alex, that has nothing to do with you. They’re both big girls, they can work out their problems.”

I blinked in surprise.

“Well, I mean, they’re my friends, so. . .”

“So what?”

“So, I want to help them.”

She shook her head disapprovingly at my response, her dark brown hair bouncing a little as she did.

“Alexander, I get that you love them, but their problems are not yours to solve, so you don’t need to worry about it.”

“I, I guess. But-”

“No buts.”

She narrowed her eyes a little, making it clear that this wasn’t a subject we were going to argue on.

“You have work, and your sister, and your own issues to deal with.”

I felt my stomach slowly drop more and more as she spoke and reminded me of how stupid my worries were.

She was right after all, Skye not telling Clairabell how she felt, and Clairabell not wanting to listen, those were not my problems.

But, still. . .

I went back to looking out the chariot window, watching as the pavement of the bridge slid by as we drove in silence.

Well, we did for a few minutes, then I felt mom poke me repeatedly on the cheek.

“Oi” she said with each poke, “oi, oi, oi!”

I smiled and looked up, finding my mom leaning forward with a bag of gold coins dangling from her fingertips.

She gave me a warm smile and dropped the coins into my lap.

“Quit pouting, you’re gonna make me feel like a bad mom.”

“Aw, you’re not a bad mom” I responded, opening the bag and eyeing the coin, “I’m just really good at making people feel guilty. This is chocolate isn’t it?”

“Boy, you get paid a fortune a year, you don’t need real gold.”

“I ain’t complaining.”

I smiled and started unwrapping a coin to enjoy the snack, before handing a few back to mom.

“Here” I said, dropping them into her hand, “Fiona loves these too.”

“Yeah, that’s why I got her her own bag. These are yours.”

“Then I guess we’ll call it an offering to a good mom.”

She let out an amused laugh.

“Gods, why is my youngest son so cheesy?”

“No idea” I told her, chomping down on the delectable coin, “I personally blame it on Television and video games for giving good moral lessons.”

She sighed, but still smiled.

“You are such a dork.

Mom went back to watching Fiona sleep and we rode into the city in silence for a bit.

“Honestly” she eventually said, “I’m glad you’re such a good kid, but it wouldn’t hurt you to worry about yourself more.”

“Yeah” I responded, understanding what she meant, if only a little bit.

I pulled out another chocolate coin and sat it in between my cupped pointer finger and thumb before flicking my thumb up and giving the coin a good flip and catching it in my palm.

“Hey, maybe I should act like the old man more?”

I gave mom a wide smile at this statement and she responded by rolling her eyes.

“Alex” she said, “if you start acting like the old man just remember that I dictate your living arrangements.”

“Aw” I teased, trying to lighten the tension, “not a fan of selfish people?”

“Being selfish is fine. He’s just a disrespectful asshole. Never cared for those.”

“If that were true you would have thrown me out years ago.”

“You’re just disrespectful. The assholeness is currently being debated.”

“Aw, that’s the nicest compliment I’ve ever gotten.”

“Oh shut up Alex.”

Despite her words she had a smile on her face.

Eventually, we pulled into the city.

The street lights illuminated our way as we walked through the busy streets filled with people of all races and sizes and other worldly species in togas. Despite how early it was the city was still bustling and busy as if it were early afternoon.

Shops filled with exautic items lined the streets next to fancy restaurants and stores filled with fancy clothes that normal people could never hope to own. As we went deeper in, the clothing people wore became more elaborate and extravagant almost as if they were trying to make themselves match the streets paved with literal gold.

“Did dad say they could use his gold?”

“No and I am still trying to get them to give it back. Honestly, their taste is just tacky.”

“I feel I need to point out that we decorate our house with bones and diamonds.”

“Alex, that is a theme. It might be tacky, but it makes sense. This is just a bunch of people showing off how rich they are. Besides, Pluton is in charge of decorating.”

“Way to blame your son for the way the house looks Ma.”

“I blame all my children for everything. Didn’t you figure that out already?”

“I was in denial.”

We joked around a little more as we eventually rode deeper into the city.

It was a nice summer morning even here, with birds of all kinds singing joyful tunes and plants you wouldn’t normally see together decorating the parks and sidewalks.

Mount Olympus, the rich neighborhood to end all rich neighborhoods. 

While we continued our stroll, I was content to rest against the side of the cart, daydreaming until we arrived at grandmas. At least, until, the chariot pulled to a sudden stop with a jerky motion and Mare let out a loud whine.

“Oi” Mom yelled, slapping the roof, “why’d we stop?”

In response Red poked his head in, by holding it in his hand and putting it through the open window.

His teeth chattered and he let out a gargling hiss to inform us of why we had stopped.

Mom sighed and slouched in her seat, Fiona still in her lap.

“Then just kill them.”

“Mom, no.”

“Alex, they started it.”

“Yeah but we can’t just murder all of our problems.”

“You sure” she said, hopefully jokingly, “the old man seems to solve a lot of his problems that way. Of course, it does make your fathers work stack up so I’m a little pissed about that.”

“How about I go deal with them?” I said, opening the door, “give daddy less paperwork?”

“Carefull, they might cause you to develop some humility.”

“No worries about that happening. I’ll be done in like, I don’t know, two, three minutes. Meet you at grandmas. Oh, I missed the step. . .”

She groaned with annoyance as her handsome, awesome, super smart son fell out of the carriage and onto the dirt of Olympus.

“Way to jump to the rescue there superman” she chimed.

I chuckled a little as I layed on the ground, before turning my head to the right and spotting the roadblocks that stood in Mares way.

“Hi” I happily said to the tall man wearing a dark blue tank top. He had a rather annoyed look on his soft face, with his ocean green eyes glaring at me and his large, muscular, arms crossed over his chest.

His dark blue hair was slicked back and had a slight gleam to it while a few scales decorated his broad shoulders and a gold belt encrusted with gems of all shapes and sizes held his gray and white camouflage pants up.

By his side were two rather younger men who looked to be either twins or clones of each other. My personal experience has told me to bet on the latter, but you can never be too sure.

They both wore back basketball shorts and red shirts to go along with their messy strawberry blonde hair. Only way to tell that they weren’t completely identical were their eyes; both of which glowed unatrually like the brights of a car, but while the one on the left had shining baby blues, the gent on the left glared at me with dark red irises. Not blood red, more like a wine red.

Just like with the big bad in the middle, I noticed a few fish-like scales running along their necks and half way down their arms. 

“Yo” the blue hair in the middle yelled at me, “are you going to get off the ground or what?”

“Naw” I responded, still sprawled on the ground, “the road feels good on my back.”

“Get off the ground Alex” Mom demanded from the carriage.

“So what can I do for you?” I asked while standing up, “directions, a ride maybe?”

“All we require is your head on a spike” the blue haired one responded. He took a boxer's pose and silver metal slowly started molding around his hands, appearing from nowhere I could see, until he was wearing two silver gauntlets with spiked knuckles.

“Sorry, can’t exactly do that seeing how I currently need my head. Mind me asking why you would want it though mate?”

“Hey” red eyes shouted, “he ain’t your mate guy!”

“Well then I ain’t your guy friend!”

“He ain’t your friend buddy,” the blue eyed one shouted at me.

“Well then I’m not his buddy mate!”

“He’s not your mate guy!”

“Then I’m not his guy friend!”

“I’m leaving now” mom stated, closing the carriage door, “meet us at grandmas okay?”

“Ok mom” I responded, waving them off.

“I’m not your mom dude” Blue eyes shouted.

“He’s not your dude pal” Red eyes shouted back.

“Seth, Joey” blue hair said, his head in his hand, “please stop.”

The three stepped out of the way, blue hair forcing Seth and Joey to bow their heads as mom passed in the sable steed drawn carriage before they took their spots in front of me again.

“Now, draw your weapon!”

Blue hair took his stance once more, their eyes narrowed at me.

“. . .Why?”

“Be-because I’m challenging you.”

“Ok but why are you challenging me?”

“Because!”

“Because why?”

“Because, shut up, draw your blade!”

“Blade as in vampire character?”

“Vampire? Your sword!”

“But I don’t use a sword.”

“Then your spear!”

“I don’t wanna draw my spear, honestly, I’m not the best artest.”

Blue hair looked ready to leap at me and scream at the top of their lungs while strangling my handsome neck.

I’m having a lot of fun.

He takes a deep breath and slowly calms down.

“Okay” they said, “please, please, get any weapons you might own, hold it in your hands, and fight me with them.”

“Ohhh! Ok, why didn’t you just say so?”

I could literally hear the last straw on blue hairs, patients breaking as they once more took a boxers pose, their eyes narrowed at me.

“My name is Markis, Muto, Reads, son of Poesidon and Pirate queen of the Caribbean Martha Reads!”

Yep, saw that one coming.

Guess good ol uncky Poesidon is still upset that I stabbed him in the face for unspecified reasons oh so long ago (last Tuesday).

“Alright Mark ma boy” I told him holding my arms up to the sky, “guess we can have a quick play date.”

Slowly, a leather strap materialized on my right arm and a thunderous roar echoed out as dark clouds gathered above us. 

Splitting through the black clouds a golden shield slammed into my arm and attached to the leather strap with a click.

I felt electricity flow out of my body and into the metal of my golden shield that was the size of my body, the aegis.

“My name’s Zee” I told Mark, adjusting aegis to be in front of me, “bastard of Zeus, and. . .”

I held my other hand towards the ground, palm opened, feeling the dirt beneath give way.

In a flash a black and gold two pronged spear emerged and pushed against my palm as I wrapped my fingers around it.

Casually, I pointed my bident at Mark to show him I was ready.

“Son of Hades.”

[kibleedibleedoo]

Hero of your own Fate 6/?

Chapter 6

Warnings - violence, slow burn

Summary - The company stumble upon some trolls

Thorin x reader

---------------------------------------------------------

-Readers POV-

 Thorin began allocating roles to the dwarves to set up for the night but Gandalf did not seem to agree with the location. He seemed to disagree with the idea of camping here so much that an argument began between the King and the Wizard. You could not hear what the argument was about, but soon enough Gandalf stormed off and Thorin began braking orders at poor unsuspecting Bombur. Bilbo seemed to cling to the wizard more than any other member of the company as such was extremely concerned when the wizard just upped and left.

 “Don’t worry Bilbo he’ll be back; he wouldn’t just abandon us all because of a temper tantrum” Your remark earned a little chuckle from Bilbo and some of the surrounding dwarves. “Come let’s help set up camp. If we’re quick enough, we might be able to snag a spot closest to the fire” You nudged the hobbit with your elbow. He agreed and followed as the whole company set up camp for the night. You thanked your lucky stars you got a spot by the fire. Feeling yourself already drying off you stuck by Bombur while he made supper for everyone. Another stew. Eating the same thing in day in and day out was becoming a bore but Bombur ever the talented chef was able to create new flavours thanks to the herbs and spices he had packed.

 Bombur served you first. You seemed to eat the least out of everyone in the company, partially due to appetite and partially because you weren’t the fondest of the food you were being given. You wouldn’t refuse a serving by any means but once the sting of hunger was gone it became harder to tolerate the taste. Bombur had noticed this and took it upon himself to ensure you were given the first and heartiest portion so that you at least got a serving knowing that others would beat you to second or thirds by the time you got up to get yourself a bowl. Bilbo wolfed his food down each and every night, after all he was used to at least twice the daily meals you were all having. He was still worrying about Gandalf but there was nothing the hobbit could do about the situation now.

 “Here, do us a favor: take this to the lads.” Bofur handed Bilbo two bowls and motioned his head in the direction of Fili and Kili who were still with the ponies. Bilbo sighed knowing he was missing out on seconds by doing this but Bofur hadn’t eaten yet, so it was only fair.

 The normal chatter round the fire resumed but as the minutes ticked by you noticed Bilbo hadn’t returned, he wasn’t one to miss a second helping especially as you had all come to learn that any food left after a 10 minute window of time was going to be gobbled up by Bombur in seconds. The two lads came running out from the cover of the trees.

 “You’re supposed to be with the ponies” grumbled a very much still angry Thorin.

 “Where’s Bilbo?” Bofur asked just finishing his meal.

 “Trolls had the ponies” Fili cried.

 “Bilbo’s with them” Kili finished concern dripping from his tone.

 At that everyone jumped. The camp became alive with dwarves finding their weapons. You and Ori looked at each other worry covering both your faces for neither of you possessed any useful weapons. Fili noticed this and handed you a relatively small blade, probably only a dagger which you knew meant you would have to use it in close range fighting if it came to it.

 -Thorin’s POV-

 Thorin’s mood had been stale since the moment you left the tavern. The argument with the wizard didn’t help but inside he was having his own internal battle. He knew the legends of the ‘one’ bond. He had even witnessed it himself with his sister, Dis, and her eventual husband. It was a bond which crossed class divides and could not be forced. It was an honor for Mahal to have given him a ‘one’ and yet he didn’t feel blessed. It seemed that Mahal had chosen this moment to distract him from the only quest that would make him worthy of being with his ‘one’ and having the respect of his people.

 He had been trying to avoid the problem by avoiding you directly. But the further away he got the more he ached to be close to you, to be beside you and be involved in your conversation and jokes that seemed to make the whole company grow fond of you so very quickly. It seemed Thorin lived for the fleeting glances and brushes as you squeezed by. Was it ungentlemanly for him to not move completely out of the way? Yes. Was he going to continue doing it so that he could occasionally feel your skin against his and smell the warm honey essence that made him wish that was the only scent in the world? Also yes. Especially since the smell of musky dwarf was all he seemed to be smelling these days.

 Thorin’s daydream was cut short as his nephews came running into camp, it seemed the company had a troll problem. If this was the issue Gandalf grumbled about earlier then that left Thorin even angrier at the wizard. He could have just stated the danger, instead he chose to abandon the company and leave them unprepared for the danger. Thorin grabbed his sword and looked over at you. You were brandishing one of Fili’s daggers.

 “Stay at the edge of the fray Y/N. but don’t let them get near you” Thorin barked, sounded harsher than he had intended. He could not lose you, he would protect you with his life if he had to. Still he had a small bit of faith that his nephews had been teaching you defense maneuvers so that you wouldn’t be a sitting duck in situations just like these.

 -Reader’s POV-

 The mission to attack the trolls and save Bilbo had not exactly gone to plan. Instead it seemed you would spend the night in a sack, in a pile of dwarves watching your newfound friends being roasted alive. Everyone was squirming and shouting. That was not how you wanted to die surrounded by noise in a smelly sack being kicked occasionally by multiple dwarves. You needed time to think, it was said trolls were slow and stupid, so they needed to be distracted and outwitted.

 “Never mind the seasoning; we ain’t got all night! Dawn ain’t far away, so let’s get a move on. I don’t fancy being turned to stone.” One of the trolls uttered.

 “So the sunlight kills them” you gasped under your breath. That means they only had to be delayed. It was summertime already, so the hours of darkness were limited, and it took the trolls a decent while piling you all up in preparation for their feast.

 It seemed Bilbo had a similar idea. He started trying to reason with the creatures, discussing cooking techniques. That hobbit sure knew his food. But him standing up to speak gave you a bit more wiggle room and you were finally able to shift the sack. You had a way to escape and with Bilbo providing a distraction you might be able to help the others as well. As silently as possible you shuffled deeper within the sack pulling the opening all the way over your head. Unbeknownst to you this earned some questioning looks from a few of the company, but most were distracted by the insults Bilbo was throwing their way. Now that your head was out of the way you were able to reach up and start untangling the knot that kept you trapped.

 You prayed with everything in you that you wouldn’t be seen. Your hopes were dashed when you felt something heavy move over you.

 “Hurry, I’m covering you from view” A deep voice rumbled close to you. It seemed that Thorin had noticed and decided to protect you from view with his own body. Soon the knot was untied on your own sack giving you the freedom to escape. The terrified selfish girl in you so desperately wanted to run but you knew you couldn’t abandon your friends. You shifted again so it appeared you were still bound but secretly you were moving about untying the dwarves you could.

 “Nothing wrong with a bit of raw dwarf! Nice and crunchy.” One of the trolls exclaimed lifting Bombur off the ground, dangling him upside down. Out of the corner of your eye you see someone move in the shadows. Gandalf must have returned. You heaved a sigh of relief; with Gandalf aiding the dwarves you had freed the company just might be able to make it until morning.

 “Not--not that one, he--he’s infected!” Bilbo panicked shouting anything that would save Bombur from being eaten at that moment. “He’s got worms in his … tubes.” The troll chucked Bombur away in revulsion. It seems in the moment of distraction Thorin took it upon himself to prepare the second attack.

 “khazâd ai-mênu” Thorin shouts, the freed dwarves seem to explode out of the sacks, being quick to grab any weapon available. Though we were at a disadvantage it seemed as though things had been learned from the last attack. Everyone had to stay on the move, especially Bilbo, who had now been cut out of his sack.

 “Az-barum!” Bifur shouts grabbing your attention, throwing a spare blade to you. “Abod!” Bifur motions slashing in the direction of the dwarves on the spit. Your relationship with the Khuzdul speaking dwarf was not blossoming in the same way it was with the others but him using few phrases with you and having someone translate made it much easier for the both of you. You were pretty sure he was telling you to free them while the trolls were distracted. You took a deep breath before leaping over the fire and cutting at some of the ropes.

 “The dawn will take you all!” Gandalf shouted, distracting everyone from the ongoing battle. He struck the large boulder he was stood on with his staff. Splitting the stone in two and bathing the campground in morning light. You watched on as the trolls began writhing about, skin cracking and solidifying in the sunlight. Before your eyes these once living beings were now nothing more than stone statues.

  A/N - sorry this is a long one but we needed some grumpy Thorin and the reader developing relationships with the other dwarves. 

khazâd ai-mênu – the dwarves are upon you

Az-barum – mistress of men

Abod – strike

[swanqueeneverafter]

Sins of the Past Pt.26

Wonderland. Lizard's Home. (While the streets are filled with people celebrating the Caterpillar’s arrest, Lizard stands staring out of her window wistfully as Will enters.) Lizard: “Are you enjoying yourself?” Will: (Staggers:) “It might be the best night of my life. They’ve arrested the Caterpillar and his goons. I’m a free man.” Lizard: (Smiles:) “I heard.” Will: (Closing the door:) “Which begs the question what are you doing in here all by yourself? (Lizard says nothing:) Oh, I get it. I think I understand what's going on here. (Walks over to her and speaks in her ear:) You fancy someone. I knew it! All right. Out with it. Name the lucky bloke out there who caught your eye.” Lizard: “I'll never tell.” (Lizard gets up and walks to the other side of the room.) Will: “Hang on, I’m Mr. Fix It. I know a thing or two about helping women in love get what they want.” Lizard: (Scoffs:) “You can't make anyone fall in love with me.” Will: “Well no, but I can help in other ways, make him notice you. I mean really notice you.” Lizard: “Well, you tell me, then. (Pokes him in the chest playfully:) What makes you notice a girl?” Will: “Me? Let me think...confidence. Confidence is a terribly sexy quality in a woman.” Lizard: “All right. What else?” (She circles him.) Will: “Passion. Spontaneity. Willing to take chances, explore new places, and style. She should really know how to wear a dress. And a naughty streak don't hurt. But it all comes down to this; when I see her, it feels like fireworks are going off.” Lizard: “Fireworks?” Will: “Fireworks. Because without that, there's nothing.” Lizard: “All right, then. I want that. I want all of that.” (Lizard reaches into her pocket and pulls out a small red diamond.) Will: “What’s that?” Lizard: (Holding up the diamond:) “This is my wish. The Oracle gave this to me as payment for bringing Ella to her.” Will: “She what?” Lizard: “And now I’m going to use it to make my dreams come true.” Will: “Lizard, wait! (Lizard closes her eyes and squeezes her hand tightly around the wish. Disappearing and then reappearing in a cloud of smoke, Lizard stands before Will wearing a beautiful white dress. Impressed:) All right, then. Let's go out there and show these lads the girl they've been missing.” Lizard: “I'd rather stay in here.” Will: “Oh, come on! What are you so afraid of?” Lizard: (Walks closer to him:) “I'm afraid that the man I like doesn't feel about me the way I feel about him.” Will: “Have you seen yourself? He'd be a complete and utter idiot, and blind to boot. If you don't want to go out there, I'll bring him back here for you.” Lizard: (Will moves to the door:) “No. Wait.” Will: “Tell me who he is, then.” Lizard: “It's you, Will. It's always been you.” 

(Will stares at her then drops his head. Lizard walks over to her bed and takes a seat.) Will: “I guess I was right. The bloke you fancy is a complete and utter idiot. Lizard, I'm sorry.” Lizard: “No. It's all right. I'm fine, really.” Will: “Look, you know I like you. I always have. You're a terrific mate, and we've always had the best times together. It's just -” Lizard: “You don't love me.” Will: “It's not just that- (Will stares at Lizard as she suddenly struggles to breathe:) What's happening?” Lizard: (Gasping for air:) “It’s...it’s the wish!” Will: (Catching her as she falls:) “Take it back!” Lizard: “Will!” Will: “No! No! No! No! No! No! Please, no! Liz! Liz! No!” Lizard: (Lying in his arms:) “I just wanted you to feel something for me.” Will: “I'm sorry. I'm sorry. (Lizard dies:) Liz! No! I'm sorry.” (Will rocks her in his arms while fireworks illuminate the sky outside the window.)

Storybrooke. Rollin' Bayou. Opposite The Dragon’s Lair. (A montage of Tiana cooking inside the food truck. Cracking eggs into a bowl then whisking, adding flour and then kneading the dough. Using a pastry wheel to cut the shapes and then deep frying. Topping with sugar and then placing in paper bags to order, Tiana smiles and wipes her brow.) Ella: “Where is everyone coming from?” Tiana: “Location, Location, Location. Mom always said nothin' attracts a crowd like a crowd.” Ella: “Amazing! You're really doing it.” Tiana: “Mm-hmm.” Ella: “You know we could set up a stand at the Sunday farmers' market.” Tiana: “Oh, meh. Farmers' markets are for Old MacDonald. No. I'm thinking jazz, luring people in to a popcorn-light-lit food truck. We park it at festivals and movie nights.” Ella: “Okay.” Tiana: “And then serve étouffée and boudin.” Ella: (Holds up a bag of beignets:) “Buckets of these guys.” Tiana: “Yes. (Both laugh:) Oh, it finally feels like we are headed in the right direction.” Ella: “You're a dreamer, and I love you for it, and god knows I need a job.” Tiana: “Uh huh and that is exactly the reason why you need to take this risk. We’ll get you a truck of your own that’ll be your responsibility. It's time to change the game and take a big swing for once. You owe it to yourself. You owe it to your Mama, wherever she may be. Come on. Let's make her proud.” Ella: (Falters then after a moment, smiles:) “Okay. I'm with you.” Tiana: “Yeah? All right. (Laughs:) Great. And with a little bit of sugar and spice and everything nice, we are going to show everyone who is boss.” (While Tiana deals with the customers, Ella takes a step back, the words ‘make her proud’ echoing in her ears. With her career path seemingly laid out in front of her, Ella is more determined than ever to confront Regina once and for all.) The Dragon's Lair. (Lily enters the bar. Noting that the tables and chairs have been rearranged and a stage has been erected, Lily makes her way over to the bar and takes a seat.) Zelena: "Lily, we didn't expect to see you tonight." Lily: "And miss Regina on stage? Not likely." Zelena: "I'm surprised Elsa let you out." Lily: (Smiles:) "I’m surprised my Mom agreed to you adding a stage to the bar in addition to the restaurant.” Zelena: (Zelena winks:) “Bet you’re not surprised Regina agreed to be the very first act on the new stage though.” Lily: “Well, as far as Elsa goes, she's not a big drinker and she figured with Emma and Regina around, this is the safest place I could be." Zelena: "She has a point. Although you can obviously take care of yourself." Lily: "That's what I told her. Anyway, I think those two are only gonna have eyes for each other tonight." (Maleficent stands on stage and manages to quieten the rowdy crowd with a glare.) Maleficent: "Ladies and Gentlemen, and I use that term loosely, the Dragon's Lair is proud to present Storybrooke's hottest Mayor, Regina Swan-Mills!" (Maleficent leaves the stage as Regina rises from beneath and the lights dim. With the spotlight shining upon her, Regina begins.) Regina: ♪ Come on, babe, why don't we paint the town. ♪ ♪ And all that jazz?♪ ♪ I'm gonna rouge my knees and roll my stockings down ♪ ♪ And all that jazz ♪ ♪ Start the car, I know a whoopee spot ♪ ♪ Where the gin is cold, but the piano's hot ♪ ♪ It's just a noisy hall where there's a nightly brawl ♪ ♪ And all ♪ ♪ That ♪ ♪ Jazz ♪ (As promised, Emma watches from the crowd front row, center. The Sheriff is unable to take her eyes away from her wife while she sings and gyrates on stage. With a huge smile, Emma makes eye contact with Regina as she continues her song.) ♪ Slick your hair and wear your buckle shoes ♪ ♪ And all that jazz ♪ ♪ I hear that Father Dipis gonna blow the blues ♪ ♪ And all that jazz ♪ ♪ Hold on, hon, we're gonna bunny hug ♪ ♪ I bought some aspirin down at United Drug ♪ ♪ In case you shake apart and want a brand-new start ♪ ♪ To do ♪ ♪ That ♪ ♪ Jazz! ♪

Idirsholas. (Lancelot’s party rides for the fortress and enters the ruins. The knights spread out, their weapons drawn.) Lancelot: "What’s that noise?" Xena: "What noise?" Lancelot: "A sort of trembling sound." Xena: "That’s your knees knocking together." (Xena and Gabrielle move ahead while Lancelot rolls his eyes. They enter the chamber in the fortress where the knights were awoken. Lancelot checks the ashes of the fire.) Lancelot: “It seems part of Joseph’s story was true. Probably just travellers passing through.” (Gabrielle turns her head back toward the entrance.) Gabrielle: “Or maybe not.” (Everyone turns as the Knights of Idirsholas draw their swords. Xena, Gabrielle, Lancelot and the others fight the knights. Xena runs one through, but it doesn’t fall. Fight, stab, repeat. Lancelot loses his sword in an undead knight’s gut.) Sir Leon: “Lancelot!” (Leon throws Lancelot a sword.) Xena: (Slashes at two knights with little effect:) “This isn’t working!” Gabrielle: “We need to go! (Lancelot and his men retreat. Gabrielle follows but stops when she sees Xena standing there:) What are you…?!” (Xena throws her chakram, causing the roof to cave in as it bounces off the walls. Catching the chakram, Gabrielle pulls Xena backwards out of the room while the entrance way crumbles.)

Kingdom of Valencia. Dining Room. (Richard, Roberta, Henry and a very embarrassed Gareth have dinner together.) Gareth: (Clears his throat:) “I’d like to thank you for exposing this attack on our state. Once again, magic was used to strike at the heart of Valencia.” Roberta: (Tad Cooper resting on her arm:) “You mean, your heart.” Richard: “How many nights did you share a bed with a troll?” Gareth: “Obviously I was under its spell. (Richard sniggers:) I did many things that I…regret.” Henry: “Gareth, that’s okay, I’m sure we really don’t want to know the details.” (There is quiet for a moment before everyone laughs, Richard pulling faces to mimic Gareth’s moment of clarity. Eventually, despite himself, Gareth finds the funny side of things and joins in with the laughter.) Wonderland. Town. (Walking through the now deserted streets, Anastasia arrives at Lizard's home and enters through the open door. Seeing the girl's body on the floor, Anastasia rushes over to check her pulse. Feeling nothing, she closes Lizard's eyes and leans back on her haunches.) Will: "It's my fault. (Startled, Anastasia turns to look at Will who sits in the shadows:) She wished that I could love her and when I couldn't, she..." Anastasia: "Will, what are you talking about? People don't just keel over and die from rejection." Will: "It was her dying wish." Anastasia: (Moving over to him:) "Will, snap out of it. You're not making any sense."

Will: (Sighs:) "Lizard used a wish she got from an Oracle." (Will holds up the small diamond between his thumb and forefinger. Taking it, Anastasia inspects it closely.) Anastasia: "Before Lizard used this, did it glow red?" Will: "Yeah." Anastasia: (Nods:) "It was cursed. It didn't matter what wish Lizard made, as soon as she used the diamond, she was done for." Will: "Why would the Oracle do that to her?" Anastasia: "My guess? To cover their tracks. The Oracle must not have wanted Lizard to identify them for some reason." Will: "Aye, and I think I know why. Ella went to see this Oracle and they told her that someone killed her mother." Anastasia: "Who?" Will: (Shakes his head:) "She wouldn't say. We got separated soon afterwards. I think Ella's going to do something stupid and there's no way I can stop her." Anastasia: "All right, well first thing's first. We need to see what Ella saw. (Anastasia walks over to Lizard's body and kneels beside it:) There's a spell I can use that can show us everything Lizard saw during her last few hours. If we get lucky, maybe we can see who this supposed Oracle was." Storybrooke. Forest. (With Mordred still believed to be hiding within Storybrooke's borders, Ruby and Mulan prepare for a long night’s shift sitting by their campfire.) Mulan: "Do you ever wonder what your life would've been like if you had a normal childhood?" Ruby: (Considers:) "There probably would've been a lot less running involved. (At Mulan’s look:) My entire village ran me out of town.” Mulan: “Really?” Ruby: “With torches and pitchforks.” Mulan: “Because you're a wolf?” Ruby: “I didn't always know I was, and I certainly didn't back then. I wasn't in control. And one night, I accidentally...” Mulan: “Killed your boyfriend, I know.” Ruby: “Yeah. I lived on the run after that, and... I eventually learned to control my power, made some friends along the way. I ended up in Storybrooke, but I still felt like there was something missing.” Mulan: (Smiles:) “You’re such a Gabrielle.” Ruby: (Scoffs:) “Well not everyone gets to take our father’s place and fight in the Chinese army as a teenager. (Laughs but notices Mulan doesn’t join in:) Mulan, what's wrong?” Mulan: “I didn’t replace my father. My father left us when I was still a young girl.” Ruby: “I’m sorry, I just assumed from the movie... Why haven’t you told me this before?” Mulan: “It’s ancient history. Everything else from the movie is true though. Except for Mushu, I’m not sure what that was about.” Ruby: “Oh you know how they are, every movie has to have a plucky comedic sidekick.” Mulan: “Perhaps they’ll remake it one day. Replace the dragon with a smart, sexy wolf.” Ruby: (Laughs:) “Can wolves be sexy?” Mulan: “Oh please, like you don’t know.” Ruby: “You’re weird.” Mulan: “Maybe, or just hopelessly in love.” Ruby: “Hm, could be.” Mulan: “Definitely. (They kiss:) I’m so glad we found each other.” Ruby: (Kisses her again:) “Me too.” Mulan: “And I’m so happy you didn’t make the same mistake I did and told me how you felt before it was too late.” Ruby: (Smiles:) “Well thanks to a certain TV show, I know how tortured some warriors can be about their past and how it can stand in the way of their happiness.” Mulan: “Thank god for those plucky sidekicks huh?” Ruby: “We have our moments.” Mulan: “Yes, you certainly do.” Ruby: “Feel like having one of those moments right now?” Mulan: (Chuckles:) “We’re on duty.” Ruby: “Yeah, and we’re going to be all night long. I don’t think that campfire’s going to be able to keep us warm throughout, do you?” Mulan: “So you’re saying we might need to generate some extra heat ourselves huh?” Ruby: “Couldn’t hurt.” (Leans over and kisses Mulan’s neck.) Mulan: “You know you’re a terrible influence.” Ruby: (Removing her cloak:) “Uh huh. Do you need help with your armour?” Mulan: (Already pulling off her boots:) “No, I’ve got it.”

The Dragon's Lair. (David finally enters and makes his way over to the bar while Regina is reaching the crescendo of her performance.) Regina: ♪ Big wheel keep on turning ♪ ♪ Proud Mary keep on burning ♪ ♪ And we're rolling, rolling ♪ ♪ Rolling on the river ♪ ♪ And we're rolling, rolling ♪ ♪ Rolling on the river ♪ (Picking up his drink from the bar, David turns and sees his wife making a fool of herself, arguing drunkenly with three men.) Snow White: "I'll have you know that is my daughter-in-law up there, buddy! (Staggers:) You see she used to be my step-mother and then there was this curse and-" David: (Stepping in:) "All right, Snow, I think everyone knows about your history with Regina. I'm sure these gentlemen don't need to-" Maleficent: "Will you idiots shut the hell up? Regina's just about to go into her big finish!" Snow White: "Don't you tell me to shut up, blondie!" Maleficent: "Excuse me?" Snow White: "That's right, I'm talking to you, (Makes horns with her fingers:) Dragon lady." David: "Oh boy..." Snow White: "Don't think I don't know that you've still got feelings for Regina. (Hiccups:) We all see it." David: "I am so sorry." Snow White: "No! I knew we made the right decision telling Emma and Regina to hold off rescuing you. They're married! Married! You get that? You missed your chance." Maleficent: (To David:) "You told them not to come for us?" David: "That's not exactly-" (At that moment, one of the drunken men Snow was arguing with bumps David's arm, causing him to spill his drink over Maleficent.) Drunk Man: "Hey, cat fight!" (Disgusted, Maleficent pushes David backwards into the man which causes a fight to break out. While just about still able to stand, Snow lunges at Maleficent. Watching this all transpire from her bar stool, Lily turns to Zelena.) Lily: "And this is why we can't have nice things." (Downing her shot, Lily rushes over to break up the melee while Regina reaches the climax of her performance.) Regina: ♪ Big wheel keep on turning ♪ ♪ Proud Mary keep on burning ♪ ♪ And we're rolling and we're rolling ♪ ♪ And we're rolling on the river ♪ ♪ Yeah ♪ ♪ All right, now ♪ ♪ Yeah, rolling, rolling on the river ♪ ♪ Said they're rolling, oh, rolling, yeah, rolling on the river ♪ ♪ I tell you they're rolling, a-rolling, a-rolling on the river ♪ ♪ Yeah! ♪ (The crowd explodes in cheers and applause, Emma standing on her chair, arms raised high in the air, as proud as can be.)

Wonderland. Lizard's Home. (Will watches on with revulsion as Anastasia holds Lizard's severed eyes in her hand.) Will: "Eugh, if I knew you were going to do that, I would have said forget it." Anastasia: "It's the only way to capture Lizard's parting glances, Will. Do you think I enjoy cutting people's eyes out of their sockets?" Will: "All right, all right. But we're giving her a proper burial after this." Anastasia: "Agreed." Will: "So how does this work?" (Anastasia walks over to the kitchen and retrieves a bowl from the shelf. Placing the eyes inside, she walks back and puts the bowl on the table.) Anastasia: (Waving her hand over the bowl:) "De visu intueri. Visione revelare." (A blue cloud of images forms above the bowl. Quickly scanning them, Anastasia stops at a familiar face within the visions.) Will: "There! That's Ella. But who's she talking with?" Anastasia: "That's... That's my step-mother, Cecelia." Will: "What?" Anastasia: "Will, whatever that vision of Cecelia said to Ella is a lie. There's only one person responsible for Cecelia's death and she's long dead." Will: "What are you talking about?" Anastasia: "Come on, I'll explain on the way. We've got to stop Ella from doing something she'll regret." Will: “Wait, what about Lizard?” (Anastasia grabs him by the arm and pulls Will out of the house. Closing the door, she performs a sealing charm.) Anastasia: “There, she’ll be perfectly preserved in there until we have time to come back and give her a proper burial. Now come on!” (Anastasia grabs Will’s hand and pulls him along the deserted streets.) Storybrooke. Forest. (Bathed in moonlight, Mulan and Ruby explore each other's bodies while the campfire crackles beside them. Unnoticed by the lovers, a lone figure passes by their campsite through the shadows. Stepping momentarily into view, we see that Mordred has finally re-emerged from hiding.) The Dragon's Lair. Hallway. (Knocking on Regina's dressing room door, Emma waits for an answer.) Regina: (From inside:) "Who is it?" Emma: (Smiling:) "Your number one fan." Regina: (Chuckles:) "Come in." Dressing Room. (Opening the door, Emma is about to shower Regina with praise when she takes in the sight before her. Clad in only her underwear and with her bra undone, resting beneath her exposed breasts, Regina lays posed waiting for Emma's arrival.) Regina: (Reclined on the couch:) "Would you mind closing that? (Dumbly, Emma closes the door:) What took you so long?" Emma: "Apparently a fight broke out. Lily and Hook are dealing with it though. (Staring at her wife:) What would you have done if it was someone else at the door?" Regina: (Chuckles:) "Emma, I saw how you were watching me. I think if anyone else had tried to knock on my door, you would have shot them." Emma: "Fair point. (Walking further into the room:) You... you were... unbelievable." Regina: (Smiles:) "You enjoyed it then?" Emma: (Removing her jacket:) "Do you really want me to give you a full review right now while you're laying there naked or would you like me to catch up?" Regina: (Considers:) "How about both?" Emma: (Chuckles, unbuttoning her jeans:) "There are so many words to describe what I just witnessed, but I'll do us both a favour and start at the middle and work my way down." Regina: "Hm, so words starting with ‘M’ then?" Emma: "You were marvellous, mesmerising and magnificent. (Pulling her top over her head and throwing it aside:) But best of all... (Leans over Regina and kisses her deeply, taking the reclined woman's breath away:) You are undeniably, (Moves lower to place a kiss on Regina's right breast:) one hundred percent... (Kisses the other breast, gently removing the bra and tossing it aside:) without a shadow of a doubt... (Lays a trail of kisses over Regina's stomach, dipping her tongue into her belly button. Reaching Regina's underwear, she takes hold of them:) Mine." (Lifting her hips in anticipation, Regina yelps with delight as Emma removes her underwear in one smooth, powerful motion.) Regina: "Now and forever, my love." Emma: (Sinking to her knees, places each of Regina's legs over her shoulders:) "Shh, rest your voice. Because after what you did out there, and what I'm about to do in here, you might not be able to speak for a very long time." (Emma lowers her mouth to Regina's center. With the first touch of Emma's lips to her folds, Regina throws back her head ready to sing once more, although this time the sounds coming from her lips are cries of ecstasy, reserved only for her preferred audience of one.)

[jeidafei]

D.Gray-Man Vol.26: Komui’s Lounge (Extended) 1/5

Featuring: Marie, Bak, Lavi, Wisely, Allen, Link

(T/N: We got 31 questions this time. It really is extended! I’ve broken it up into five parts for convenience of translating and scrolling.

Let’s start with the onslaught of the usual Kanda questions...)

Lavi: G’afternoon y’all! As always, welcome to the Komui’s-Lounge-where-Komui-doesn’t-show-up-again-this-time! And first up is...ME~~! (Pull crackers)

Link: Keep it down, Bookman Jr.

Bak: And now, the time is ripe. At long last, my debut has come! And I made it on the page before Komui, too! MUHAHAHAHAHA!!

Marie: I’m not very good at this kind of thing...but I’ll do my best.

Wisely: And here comes the Noah of the Demon Eye, Wisely~~!! Back for his second session! (Holds up two victory signs).

Allen: Wait a moment. There seems to be two deceased among us?

Lavi: Hey, I’m not even confirmed deceased yet!!!

Allen: Nobody’s saying it’s you, Lavi. Well, it’s actually you, anyway.

Lavi: Allen, you were just calling for me back in Vol.24′s lounge, didn’t you? What’s with all this darkness right from the get-go, meanie!?

Allen: I haven’t been able to eat at all, and I’m irritated. 

Link: (lays a hand on Allen’s shoulder) Just forget about everything in the main narrative for now, Walker. The freshness of this discussion lounge is fading quick, and now the author’s already using trial and error.

Allen: Reckless move on the author’s part.

Wisely: Even so, it seems the author didn’t intend to bring out Bookman Jr. at first, though. Just that there was a truly unsolvable issue... 

Lavi: Damn you, Hoshino...But yes, that’s what happened! The thing is, this time the most questions are directed at me! The fans are calling out to me! I heard their voices! How can I not be here for them! (heart)

Allen: Even though I can answer questions about you just fine.

Lavi: With messed-up answers, more like.

Link: Walker, here are some doughnuts, so would you cheer up already? And you, Bookman Jr, don’t get too carried away. We went over the word-count limit last two times, and both the editor and designer sent an e-mail to warn us to stay within the limit this time. All pointless talk is prohibited from all of you!

Allen, Lavi, Wisely: Roger~~

Marie: Haha...(wry grin) Having the Inspector here really is a help.

Bak: Oi, haven’t you lot been forgetting about me from the start......!?

Question 1: Kanda had a little pouch hanging from his neck when he returned to Marie and Lenalee. What was in that pouch?

Allen: You can always count on a question for Kanda, huh.

Lavi: Yeah, ain’t Yu gettin’ a little too popular? By the way, ain’t this supposed to start off with a question for me?

Wisely: Well, it’s because there’s also a wagonload of questions for Yu Kanda as ever. What a sinful lad...

Link: You there! No pointless chatter!

Bak: Huh...? He had a pouch? We disposed of those clothes Kanda was wearing after he swapped it in for the Order uniform at the Asian Branch, but there wasn’t any pouch.

Marie: Ah, that’s because I’m keeping it for him. The little drawstring pouch, right? Seems to be silver coins in there.

Allen: Money?!!! (clatter)

Lavi: Calm down, Allen!

Marie: There was this old lady who took care of Kanda’s every need back then, and she gave it to him, said it’s for travel expenses....sorry, that’s all I know.

Lavi: ........That so?

Allen: Kanda will definitely turn out like Master someday. (hmph!)

Marie: Looks like he barely used any of it, though.

(T/N: aight guys, now we know the true reason Allen decided to tag along with Kanda, right? right?)

Question 2: Is Kanda right-handed or left-handed?

Lavi: Yu agaaain?

Link: He’s ambidextrous, isn’t he?

Allen: Eh? Is that so?

Link: It’s something you’d notice right away.

Lavi: After all the time you spent fighting with him and you still didn’t know, Allen? Yu’s punches hurt like freakin’ hell no matter which fist he used, right?

Allen: Makes me sick just thinking about it.

Marie: Exactly, Kanda’s ambidextrous.

Bak: By the way, Alma was also ambidextrous, you know.

(T/N: damn, that stab in the heart when I have to go back and correct is into was...)

Wisely: By the way, over to the Noahs, the Millennium Count is ambidextrous.

Question 3: After the Second Exorcist sigil’s power deteriorated, Kanda now has hangover. Will he also be more vulnerable to illnesses like the cold? 

Lavi: Yu again...? Now I’m starting to think Hoshino is trolling behind this!

Allen: He’s an idiot, and idiots don’t catch colds! NEXT!

Wisely: Well, if he does catch colds more easily then it’s good news for us Noahs. But if he’s such an idiot, guess it can’t be helped.

Marie: Hey, watch it. (sweat)

Link: Stop fooling about and answer properly!

Bak: Allow me, current patriarch of the Chang clan, to enlighten you. Just because the sigil’s power has weakened, doesn’t mean Kanda’s body will become very weak as a result. Though his extraordinary regenerative ability will be impaired, the bodies of Second Exorcists are also designed for battle, so he’d probably still be far more sturdy than normal people. Even so, unless he keeps a balanced diet from now on, there’s a possibility he might fall ill. He eats nothing but soba, doesn’t he? That won’t do!

Question 4:  Those...flying needles?...that Howard Link was throwing about? What are they for? The Crows have had them in the past too, and I’m curious.

Link: Those are called Shibari (嘴針 lit. Beak Needle. T/N: “shibari” also sounds the same as “Shibari-bane”, the Crow’s binding feathers, but uses a different Kanji). Even amongst Crows, it’s a weapon reserved for the elite members. A single needle can unleash power equal to a hundred feathers (those binding feathers, flame feathers, confining feathers, etc. that Crows frequently use). The Shibari I have are the ones Master Zu used back in the day, so they’re an old model, but even now they still work very well. Though they can be a little unwieldy to carry about, in times you run out of feathers you can still fight just using Shibari. And for me right now, in particular, it’s also a way to save up on feathers, so it’s a very handy weapon.

Allen: Huh? What do you mean by “for me right now”?

Link: I have chocolate doughnuts, too, Walker.

Allen: WEE-HEE! (chomp!)

Wisely: Careful, boy...he’s tricking you with those doughnuts...

Link: Would you like some, too?

Wisely: WEE-HEE! (chomp!)

Lavi: I heard from Gramps, though. Looks like the Crows’ abilities are developed by the Chang Clan, right?

Bak: Aha. The Crow Unit was established by Grandfather Zu in his younger days. Even now, the Chang Clan is still responsible for manufacturing all the feathers, needles and other weapons the Crows use. 

Marie: I see. So this is why the Asian Branch Supervisor position is passed down the Chang bloodline. The Chang Clan must have been indispensable for the Central, right?

Bak: Well, I guess.

Allen: I’ve been wondering for a long time. Why are the Changs able to use such awesome magic?

Wisely: It will be a long story, so we’d better drop it for the sake of the word count.

Link: If it’s going to eat up precious space, then let’s leave it for now.

Question 5: Do Lavi and Bookman still remember their original names?

Lavi: YAAAAAAAAAY~~  ! Finally~~! The answer’s Nooooooooooo-peeeeee! From the time I became Gramp’s heir, my name was erased!

Allen: Hey Lavi, why must Bookmen discard their real names? Isn’t it painful?

Marie: You’re one who cherishes his name, huh, Allen.

Bak: Do you really have to go that far in order to be a recorder of alternate history?

Link: Now that you mention it, we’ve received many questions on the Bookmen’s fake aliases.

Lavi: While we’re a Junior, we have to change our names every time we change the place of our log. Because those names will become the title of our logs. Thus, the log for this Holy War will be titled “Lavi”. Makes it easy to search for logs this way. As for whether it’s painful to lose my real name...hmmm, well...frankly, I don’t really know. Since me becoming a Bookman was something that can’t be helped, too. By the way, Gramps is the one who named all the logs.

Wisely: Uh-hmmm. Come to think of it, the name Lavi seems to be...

Lavi: What?

Wisely: Nah, nuffink. (munch munch). Blimey, these doughnuts sure are delicious.

Allen: Hey! You’re eating too many!

Question 6: How did Lavi and Bookman earn money for expenses during travels? The Allen way?

Allen: What do you mean by my way?

Lavi: Means gambling, of course. Ain’t it?

Wisely: Swindling Mafia bosses then fleeing with winnings and the like?

Bak: Mafia!? (falsetto)

Marie: So that’s what you’ve been up to, Allen!? That’s no good! You’re still a kid, aren’t you? Lenalee would wail if she ever hears you’ve been doing such dangerous things.

Allen: Please, please don’t tell Lenalee! I beg you, Marie! (googly eyes).

Link: No matter how adorable a face you manage to make, Noise Marie won’t be able to see it, Walker. We’ll have you tell us all about this later in detail, so for now let’s return to Bookman Jr. 

Allen: Eeehhh!?

Lavi: Where were we? Oh, travel expenses, right? Well, members of the Bookman clan are everywhere and they help us out, so both me and Gramps don’t have to work for money.

Marie: You mean you have relatives all over the world?

Lavi: Yup! The whole clan comes together to support the Bookman as the clan’s leader, so Bookman can focus on his logs. 

Bak: I never knew the Bookman Clan is such a large-scale thing.

Lavi: Well, since everyone conceals their Bookman lineage and outwardly leads normal lives, it’s no surprise nobody knows.

Allen: Why do they have to hide?

Lavi:  Hm? It’s a secret!

>> Part 2 <<

[shutterupp31]

Toxic masculinity-Whats wrong with our boys?

For centuries men have been condemned for acts of aggression, violence, and sexism, contributing to the ongoing popularity of the phrase ‘toxic masculinity’ which distinguishes these traits as toxic and unhealthy. The American psychological association have even recently introduced new guidelines for therapists working with both men and boys, indicating that early signs of extreme ‘traditional masculine behaviour’ can root themselves in personality traits that encourage outcomes of violence and misogyny, and must be disestablished early.

With the increase in male suicide rates and drug overdoses in the western world, combined with the rise of fourth wave feminism, as you can imagine, the debate on toxic masculinity is becoming all the more relevant amongst both genders. Mass media have blamed toxic masculinity for rape, mass shootings, online trolling, climate change and even the election of Donald Trump.

BUT is the phrase toxic masculinity actually helpful, accurate or universal? Let's discuss. 

Like any phrase or term regularly recycled within gender debate, the stereotypes it highlights have divided peoples opinions drastically, a predictable conflict that has most definitely contributed to the terms rise, (Yay politics). On the right we have many conservatives who allege that the charges of toxic masculinity is itself an attack on manhood. With mental health problems amongst males consistently rising, combined with the challenges the men's right movement already face, including paternity rights, homelessness, education to name a FEW, these people argue that it is dangerous and unfair to strip boys of what some would say is a necessity for them to discover their true selves as men in their time of need.

On the other side we see many ‘progressives’ who believe that the detoxification of masculinity is absolutely essential on the road to gender equality.

NOW, i'm sure (I mean I hope) we can all agree that issues including sexism, rape, violence and so on are obviously important and anyone male or female that possess these traits and/or actively defends them, needs help! Research consistently shows that those who hold sexist attitudes are more likely to perpetrate gendered violence. (DUH), but the potential biological and cultural contributions to why these figures are disproportionate amongst men and women is not something I wish to discuss at present, that's a whole other debate. 

What I do want to talk about (and what a lot of people aren't talking about) is this ‘painting every male with the same brush’ phenomenon and the extent to which this could be harmful.

My issue with the shift we have seen in which masculinity is rapidly becoming a dirty word, is that it genuinely encourages a narrative in which masculinity is fundamentally toxic. 

The assumption that the majority of what can be considered as male specific characteristics, as fundamentally harmful, is becoming increasingly worrying within socialist politics. Traits such as aggression, violence and dominance are more and more often being lumped in with those such as strength, confidence and independence and this is the problem. Yes masculinity can indeed be somewhat destructive, (AGAIN VIOLENCE IS BAD VERY BAD, NON VIOLENCE GOOD VERY GOOD) but both conservative and liberal stances on this issue commonly misunderstand how the term functions.

When people use it, they tend to diagnose the problem of masculine aggression and entitlement as a cultural or spiritual illness, something that has infected today’s men and leads them to reproachable acts. But toxic masculinity itself is not a cause. Over the past thirty years, as the concept has morphed and changed, it has served more as a barometer for the gender politics of its day and as an arrow toward the subtler, shifting causes of violence and sexism.

Acts of violence, aggression and sexism arise for a whole host of reasons, including socioeconomic factors such as education, class, and poverty, NEWSFLASH, not all men that celebrate the idea of being emotionally or physically strong intend to murder and rape the entire female population!

THOUGHT EXPERIMENT TIME

How often do you see women on social media celebrating what it means to be a woman? All the time right? Now, don't get me wrong, this rise of what I'm gonna call ‘girl power culture’ is phenomenally empowering.  

But how often do you see men innocently celebrate their manhood or say they are proud to be a man online in the same way?

Very rarely, and if they do they are often immediately attacked for being misogynistic and failing to recognise their privilege by Feminazi’s who fail to read context and get triggered by buzzwords. 

Ooooo Controversial? Perhaps, but AGAIN, I'm not failing to recognise that things like lad culture, and boys will be boys culture exist, and perhaps this obvious difference on social media has something to do with the years of oppression against women up until very recently, in fact it probably, most certainly is, however not acknowledging the multiplicity of reasons for these toxic behaviours, and not allowing men to celebrate that they like and may even enjoy being one, in the same way as its widely excepted amongst women, is well, kinda just dumb.

Don't believe me yet? Let's look at the evidence. 

First I think it is important to establish where the term originated. Despite the term’s recent popularity among feminists, toxic masculinity did not originate with the women’s movement. It was coined in the mythopoetic men's movement of the 1980s and ’90s, motivated in part as a reaction to second-wave feminism. Through male only workshops, wilderness retreats, and drumming circles, this movement promoted a masculine spirituality to rescue what it referred to as the ‘deep masculine’, a protective ‘warrior’ type masculinity, from toxic masculinity. Men’s aggression and frustration was, according to the movement, the result of a society that feminized boys by denying them the necessary rites and rituals to realise their true selves as men. 

The claim of a singular, real masculinity has now been roundly rejected by a new sociology of masculinity. Led by the sociologist Raewyn Connell, this school of thought presents gender as the product of relations and behaviours, rather than as a fixed set of identities and attributes. Connell’s work describes multiple masculinities shaped by class, race, culture, sexuality, and other factors, often in competition with one another as to which can claim to be more authentic. In this view, which is now the prevailing social scientific understanding of masculinity, the standards by which a “real man” is defined can vary dramatically across time and place.

Connell and others theorised that common masculine ideals such as social respect, physical strength, and sexual potency can of course become problematic when they set unattainable standards. Falling short can make boys and men insecure and anxious, which might prompt them to use force in order to feel, and be seen as, dominant and in control, HOWEVER Male violence in this scenario doesn’t emanate from something bad or toxic that has crept into the nature of masculinity itself. Rather, it comes from these men’s social and political settings, the particularities of which set them up for inner conflicts over social expectations and male entitlement.

The popular discussion of masculinity has often presumed there are fixed character types among men, and I think it's become increasingly more important to be skeptical of this in order to understand the situations in which groups of men act, the patterns, and the inevitable consequences, because without doing so ,YOU may be contributing to the reinforcement of the toxic masculinity in which you despise so much, which brings us on to….

The blame game-are you contributing to toxic masculinity?

Where do these sexist attitudes come from? Are men and boys just the victims of cultural brainwashing into misogyny and aggression, requiring reeducation into the ‘right’ beliefs? Or are these problems more deep rooted, and created by the myriad of insecurities and contradictions of men’s lives under gender inequality? The problem with a crusade against toxic masculinity is that in targeting culture as the enemy, it risks overlooking the real life conditions and forces that sustain culture.

It is more than likely that you have somewhat contributed to the reinforcement of toxic masculinity without even realising. Something I see so often is both men and women emasculating men for being emotionally vulnerable and this specific topic is something I personally find alarming. In the same way I defend a man's right to choose how and whether he verbally expresses emotions, I strongly believe that there is work to be done to deconstruct the stigma that is attached to this, when and if they choose to do so.

In similar fashion, in the way we have fought so hard to reject female beauty standards, it's really essential that we consider the male equivalent. Don't think there is one? Ask any man under 5 foot 8, ask any bald man under the age of 30, ask any man who has been shamed for the lack of, or excess of body hair. We have to start recognising that there is a double standard, and without too much speculation, could these expectations and lack of attention we are giving them in comparison to a lot of feminist issues in mass media, be somewhat contributing to the frustration and anger that manifests into these toxic traits we have been discussing. YEAH, FUCKING PROBABLY.

Anyway, in summary what I'm saying is, in the same way that the toxic traits we subscribe to masculinity are not universal amongst all males, the solutions to those issues that we have identified within this culture, are also not universal. Recognising differences in the lives of men and boys is crucial to the effectiveness of efforts to resolve gender violence and inequality once and for all, some food for thought. 

Stay kind always, Abbie x

[hellsparadiseessays]

Little details from Chapter 72

[Under the cut to avoid spoiling people. Initially posted on my Twitter account, but it’ll be a bit more developed here.]

1. Lord Tensen and the notion of time

For all of their contempt, the Tensen clearly have a skewed notion of time because they lived for a thousand years. What does a day mean when you’re that old? 

2. What a cute interaction

Also, Chôbe’s really observant, they barely reunited and he immediately noticed the scar and the conditions that make it visible! Also, I really love his way to be nice. What a gruff lad, giving some criticism but then telling was good. In another life, he would have been a stern teacher, I swear. 

3. Rien is a Dumb Bitch...

And Ju Fa is realising it only now (well. “now”, because I’ve been suspecting some sort of dissention between the Tensen for a while (cf one of my Aza Bros essays)). slow clap Thanks Rien, you brought one of the most dangerous people in Hôrai and made it worse for everybody.

4. Tôma getting the recognition he deserves

And not just by his brother, Ju Fa does so too! Cutting with the intent to kill, I guess his internship with the Asaemon is truly bearing its fruits!

5. Humanity: +1 point

Lord Tensen: we stronk! Humans weak!

Also Lord Tensen: oh no, they got super stronk in two days! 

Like I said in #1, their perception of time is skewed to the point it is difficult for them to conceive such growth in such a short time. Especially since their own endeavour has been fruitless for 1000 years. By the way, on this screenshot, enjoy Chôbe being between Ju Fa and his brother. He really is a good older brother, isn’t he. Edit: I forgot to point it out, but notice how Tôma always stays on Chôbe’s right side - his blind side, since his right eye is damaged. They’re so cool. 

6. Of course they’re in synch!

This page had me squeal because I’m supportive of the bros and want them to wreck Ju Fa’s shit. Furthermore, with all the shit they went through all their life and how they always stood together, knowing each other to the point of being so in-synch it feels they’re a single person divided in two makes sense. Hell, I have a twin brother irl and despite our relationship being the broken-beyond-repair type, we still often catch each other speaking in-synch or having exactly the same reaction. It’s really a sibling thing and I love to see UG nailing it so well.

7. Ju Fa is pissed

And getting riled up by a trolling Chôbe probably doesn’t help. He’s ready to ignore Rien’s orders for the sake of his own personal revenge.

8. The Tensen fear Rien

I knew I was onto something when I suspected a certain amount of politics among the Tensen. Considering Rien’s behaviour, it is expected for the others to have mixed feelings about it all, but also to remain silent out of fear of reprisals.

9. Tamiya and Fuchi really have different priorities

Lol.

10. Tao Fa reminds me of another character

Especially in that panel, she reminds me of Pris, one of the Nexus 6 from Blade Runner. More specifically, I have this scene in mind.

11. The Tensen and they ability to modify their body through Tao manipulation

Here, we see something new about it: Tao Fa can modify specific parts of her body, using the male body to dish stronger punches and kicks.

12. Fuchi is fast

Real fast and agile.

[winchesterandpie]

Part of the Company Part 4 (Thorin x reader)

Pairing: Thorin Oakenshield x Reader

Word count: 2199

Warnings: None... maybe some vaguely morbid thoughts

A/N: Eyyyy, so this hasn’t been edited very thoroughly, so sorry for any mistakes! But, you’ll see more of Thorin’s feelings a little, and we’re finally going to get some action!!! (plotwise). I use one word of Khuzdul - I’ll probably start using more as the story goes, but the translation is integrated into the paragraph. Translations are from https://islenthatur.wordpress.com/welcome/

Feedback and reblogs are hugely appreciated! Gif is not mine!

Part One | Part Two | Part Three

I slid from Obsidian’s saddle easily when Thorin called a halt, unfazed by the long days already spent in the saddle. We had been traveling for a few days now, and had made good time overall. By now, of course, the company was well established in setting up camp for the night and moved about their various tasks quickly after untacking their ponies. Leaving Dian with a command to stay in the area and warn for danger, I turned and went a little deeper into the trees to gather some firewood, as was my task.

I had barely gotten out of sight of the company when I found a newly fallen tree, angled up as it leaned on its neighbor

“And what a lovely sight you are,” I murmured appreciatively to myself, moving to climb the trunk to find the best branches. I hauled myself up quite a ways before managing to find branches dry enough that weren’t too thick around, climbing about as nimbly as a monkey. Of course, I was so focused on getting firewood so we could eat warm food for once that I failed to notice the ominous creaking of the branch I stood on until it snapped. With a yelp, I grabbed onto the branch above me, which happened to be the one I had been cutting down immediately prior to other branch breaking.

“Y/N!” Thorin and Dwalin came sprinting toward where I was now dangling from the tree, weapons drawn as though they though I was being attacked.

“I’m alright,” I called down to them, though my voice was a little strained. I would’ve laughed at their faces when they looked up and saw me hanging helplessly from the tree, except that being in that position does tend to put a damper on things like laughter.

“What in Mahal’s name are you doing up there?” Thorin was well and truly confused as to why I would be up a tree like this.

“Getting firewood, of course,” I returned smoothly. “I can get myself down, don’t you worry.”

“It doesn’t look like it, lass.” Dwalin was grinning, I could hear it in his voice.

“Hold on, I’ll be up there in a moment,” Thorin sighed as he handed his sword to Dwalin and moved toward the trunk of the tree.

“I’m fine!” I exclaimed, giving a last attempt at pulling myself up on the branch. Thorin had almost reached where I was when the branch gave way and I plummeted to the ground, with what I imagine was a startled look on my face. I hit the ground with a thud and an explosive oof! as the branch landed on top of my torso, crushing the air out of my lungs.

“Y/n!” Thorin called worriedly from his perch in the fallen tree as he climbed down, while Dwalin hurried to my side and started to lift the tree branch from off me. Once the weight had been lifted, my lungs heaved for breath and I rolled over for a better position to breathe in, coughing hard. “Are you alright, lass?”  he had finally made it down to me and pulled me up into a sitting position, holding me as steady as he could while my body rocked from the force of my coughs.

“Do I look… alright… to you?!” I gasped between bouts of coughs, which were gradually slowing down and becoming less forceful.

“What were you doing up there?” his voice was rougher now that he could see I was recovering. “You could have been killed in that fall!”

“Yeah, so? I wasn’t,” I replied after a moment, feeling more secure in my breathing “Just a little winded, is all. Besides, if you’re so worried about me dying, why did you let me come at all?”

“She’s got a point, Thorin,” Dwalin grinned at me. “I’ll leave you to it, then,” he said when the king shot him a look, turning to go back to the camp, pulling the branch I had been getting as firewood along with him. Once he was out of sight, I was pulled against something solid but soft. I identified Thorin’s coat almost immediately, relaxing into the arms that meant safety.

“I don’t know if you can manage this, but if you could please not scare the living daylights out of me again, that would be lovely,” he murmured into my hair, his voice shaking a little bit.

“It isn’t as though I was trying to fall, though.” I pulled back far enough to look into his piercingly blue eyes, bopping him lightly on the nose with my finger.

“I know… but…” Thorin’s eyes were soft, concerned as he looked back into mine. “I couldn’t stand it if I lost you. You’ve been my friend as long as I can remember and I need you here with me.”

“It’d take more than that to get rid of me, Oakenshield,” I couldn’t help but grin at him.

“I sincerely hope so,” the dark-haired dwarf leaned his forehead against mine, noses touching and breath mingling. It was more intimate than mere friendship would merit, and I wondered briefly if there was a hope that my growing feelings were reciprocated.

“Y/n?” he said after a long moment, drawing back slightly.

“What is it, Thorin?” I asked curiously.

“Just… Can you…” Poor dwarf couldn’t seem to force words out. “Do you…”

“Oh, just spit it out already.” Adorable though it may be, I was tired of not knowing what it was he wanted to say.

“Try to… be more careful next time, will you?” I got the feeling that wasn’t what he had originally been planning on asking, but given I wouldn’t be able to pry it out of that stubborn dwarf until he wanted to say it, I simply nodded and smiled at him before resting my head on his shoulder. We had barely been sitting like that for thirty seconds when the call for dinner rose up from the camp. I shot up, all my energy returning in a single instant with the promise of food. That certainly had Thorin laughing his rear off.

“We’ll camp here for the night. Fili, Kili, look after the ponies. Make sure you stay with them,” Thorin called out commands as we began to set up camp.

“A farmer and his family used to live here,” Gandalf mused, looking at the abandoned, dilapidated farmhouse.

“Oin, Gloin,” Thorin continued, not paying any attention to the wizard. “Get a fire going.”

“Right you are.”

“What, you’re not going to have me collect firewood?” I teased when his gaze hesitated on me.

“Well, look how that turned out last time,” he tossed back. “I think you’ve officially been relieved of firewood collecting duties.” I faked a pout, but it didn’t hold for long before I broke into giggles, eliciting a chuckle from Thorin as well.

“I think it would be wiser to move on. We could make for the Hidden Valley,” Gandalf interrupted our joking with a serious tone.

“I have told you already, I will not go near that place.” Thorin’s disdain for the elves had not lessened with time.

“Why not? The elves could help us. We could get food, rest, advice.”

“I do not need their advice.”

“We have a map that we cannot read. Lord Elrond could help us.”

“Help? A dragon attacks Erebor, what help came from the Elves? Orcs plunder Moria, desecrate our sacred halls, the Elves looked on and did nothing. You ask me to seek out the very people who betrayed my grandfather and betrayed my father.” The dark-haired dwarf was most definitely not pleased with the suggestion, even though Elrond had had nothing to do with the mountain’s loss and Thorin knew it.

“You are neither of them. I did not give you that map and key for you to hold on to the past.”

“I did not know that they were yours to keep.”

“He’s right,” I said as Gandalf stormed away. “You know that as well as I do.”

“I will not go to the Elves.” He refused to meet my eyes.

“Thorin, don’t let an ancient grudge prevent you from accepting help when you need it.”

“Y/N, you know what they did to us.” His pained gaze met mine.

“Of course I know. I was there, right beside you…” I paused, searching for a good way to word my thoughts. “I have been at your side, supporting you through all of this. Has my counsel ever led you astray?”

“No, it has not.”

“Then trust me with this, Thorin,“ I pleaded quietly.  “Please.” Maybe, if I could change the events this early in the story, Thorin would stand a better chance of surviving the final battle. I had just enough hope to cling desperately to the idea.

“Bâheluh, you know that I trust you.” (my friend of all friends)

“But…?” I nudged after a long pause.

“But I cannot do as you advise.” As it turns out, Fate is pretty stubborn about getting her way. I would not thwart her so easily.

“I know,” I whispered, so softly I wasn’t sure he heard me.

“I am sorry,” he said, bringing his hands to my upper arms, as though trying to make me understand. As though by understanding he could remove the sadness from my eyes.

I already understood.

“Supper’s ready!” came the call from the fire, and we jumped apart, startled. Without another word, we made our way to the pot of stew.

“Here, do us a favor: take this to the lads.” Bofur was sending Bilbo off with two bowls for Fili and Kili, as everyone else settled in, bantering and telling stories across the fire.

Eventually, the joking died down as the food was finished and we set about preparing for the evening.

“Where’s Bilbo? Shouldn’t he be back by now?” I noticed suddenly that he wasn’t with us.

“Trolls! They’ve taken four of the ponies!” Kili and Fili burst out of the trees. And Bilbo wasn’t with them.

“What about Bilbo?” Bofur asked worriedly as the company sprang into alertness.

“He’s still there, just to keep an eye on things.” I barely had time to wish I remembered this part better, but due to the passage of a literal century since the last time I saw it, the details were a bit fuzzy.

Weapons in hand, we made our way through the trees behind Fili and Kili to where they had left Bilbo. The hobbit most definitely was not just keeping an eye on things. In fact, he was being chased around the campfire by three mountain trolls. Impulsively, several of the dwarves took a step forward, as if intending to rush in.

“Wait, you morons!” I whisper shouted. Thankfully they paused, long enough for me to get another word in. “We can’t just go barging in there without any sort of a plan or we’ll all be troll food.”

“Are there any more of you little fellas hiding where you shouldn’t?” Our attention was brought back to Bilbo, who was being held by his feet.

“Right then. Kili, go around, make a distraction,” Thorin said, gesturing at his nephew.

“What sort of distraction?”

“Anything’ll do, but if it takes one of them out, then even better.” He was quick to nod and get going while the rest of us braced ourselves in anticipation.

“Hold his toes over the fire. Make him squeal.” Come on, Kili, hurry up, I thought anxiously. All of a sudden, the young dwarf jumped into view, slashing the back of a troll’s leg. Another cut to the front of it and the troll went down with a howl.

“Drop him!” Kili shouted, sword held easily in his hand.

“You what?” the troll replied incredulously.

“I said,” Kili began, swinging his sword menacingly in circle before continuing, “drop him.” With a snarl, the troll did exactly that, throwing Bilbo at Kili, who caught him.

Then, all hell broke loose. As Kili toppled from the impact, we charged out from the bushes, startling the mountain trolls. Thirteen quick, agile dwarves (plus me) were proving to be just too much of a handful for the trolls. Especially when they were armed with all manner of deadly weapons.

Just a stab stab here, and a chop chop there. Here a stab, there a chop, everywhere a stab stab, I practically sang in my mind as I jumped nimbly behind the troll, taking the opportunity to slash at its legs. Unfortunately, trolls have very thick skin, so I couldn’t hamstring it as I would a different opponent. In the confusion, I quickly lost track of Bilbo. That is, until the two of them were holding him by his arms and legs, and we all came to a tumultuous stop.

“Lay down your arms, or we’ll rip his off!” The trolls had the upper hand and they knew it. My mind raced to find a solution, anything even remotely feasible to avoid putting us at their mercy. After a long moment of staredown, Thorin planted his sword in the ground reluctantly and the rest of us followed suit.

Part Five is now up!!

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murder :   my  muse  walks  in  on  your  muse  committing  a  gruesome  murder.    continued from x

“ Oh. Hello Ves. ”

Whatever Ves had been expecting upon entering the cave, it probably wasn’t this. The place was in disarray, tables overturned and belongings strewn everywhere. Not one, not two, but three men lay scattered about, their black armor marking them as decidedly not Temerian, and the lack of limbs on at least two marking them as decidedly not alive either. Clearly, there had been a struggle, but what was less clear was how things had got to this point: Regis, the kind, elderly barber-surgeon of whom Geralt had been so fond, standing in the centre of the cave with the last man dangling from one hand, kicking his feet as he struggled to breathe. The barber-surgeon looked somewhat annoyed and rather bored, very much at odds to the two black arrows sprouting out of his chest. Regis shifted his grip a little, the man’s dangling feet dancing about in a fruitless attempt to get free, and he gave a put-upon sigh. “ Do forgive my poor manners - and the mess. Regrettably there has been quite the pest problem while you were gone. ” His black eyes narrowed, never once moving from the struggling man’s face, and then, with a sudden and sickening crunch, Geralt’s strange friend squeezed, crushing the man’s windpipe into pulp. He let the man drop, dead before he hit the ground.

“ Nothing I cannot handle, however. ”

@akindlymonster​

She’d been tracking the Nilfgaardian for most of the day, and he was not without company. Three of them in total, it was enough that she probably should have returned to base and brought back one of the lads for back up, but it had been a long fucking day already and by the time she got back, who knew if the target would even still be here. No, she wanted this job over and done with. As it was, she’d be up half the night questioning the man.

A weary sound escaped her as she pulled her blade from its sheath before venturing into the depths of the cave. Upon entering, she could hear the sounds of a struggle just ahead -- and a man’s whimpering. Had the black ones met trouble within the cave? A bear, perhaps, or trolls? Gods damn it, nothing was ever simple anymore.

If it’s trolls, I’m getting the fuck out of here -- Roche can say what he wants, but I’m a soldier, not a fucking monster hunter.

She crept ahead with caution, and as she emerged from the dark tunnel into the high ceilinged cavern, she saw a familiar face lit by the flickering torches that lined the walls.

It was Geralt’s friend, Regis -- the one she’d met at the fancy do in Beauclair. The kindly barber-surgeon had been a pleasure to converse with over dinner -- his eloquent manners a welcome change after Roche’s take-no-prisoners sort of charm. She blinked, taking in the gruesome scene. It took her a moment to make sense of just what she was looking at -- figuring out which body parts belonged to who, and such.

Regis didn’t seem overly bothered by his current circumstances -- he wasn’t even holding a weapon as far as Ves could see. The man whose neck was so firmly encased in Regis’ hand was her target, she realized. 

“Wait--” she started but then the older man’s hand closed, crushing the Nilfgaardian’s throat with a sickening crunch.

Fucking hell. Fucking Geralt. For being a Witcher, Geralt sure seemed to call a lot of monsters friend. It seemed like she and Roche were the most normal of the whole lot, and that wasn’t saying much. 

She stayed where she was, close to the exit -- just in case, just until she made sure Regis was done ... whatever he was doing here.

“Don’t ‘spose he’ll be answering too many questions now....”