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#i hate when my fun stuff has up in the air possibly negative things
banannabethchase · 2 years
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Fell asleep at 4,
Woke up at 9:30,
The Bucks bio update,
Made my brain all hurty.
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rizansauce · 2 months
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I recommend becoming a wizard
How does one not like wizards.
They're silly old men who go around casting incantations with the most devious after effects to other silly old men cause their cylindrical residences which they share with other magic men in training aka people below the age of 300 years old, were threatened by some eldritch force that they conjured up in about two seasons worth of anime.
I love every form a wizard comes in. Not just the traditional old guy who gives wisdom to a traveler passing by aka our isekai main character but also every member of the shadow wizard money gang because the cognitive dissonance is truly astounding. The possibilities are endless
You can express anything you'd ever need via wizard, shadow wizard money gang or not.
Extreme confusion?
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Gender Dysphoria?
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Cool as shit?
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Who needs art as a medium self expression when you have photo editing software and pictures of people doing wizard stuff online
This is TRUE art.
Their dialogue is also just so exquisite. People turning normal behaviours into wizardspeak has become my incentive to do anything productive cause if i dare as so try anything with future payoffs and no instant gratification i will instantly lose focus.
An example of wizardspeak would be
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or even
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Studying becomes so much more fun when you interpret it as
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Transferring everyday mundane tasks into wizardspeak has made life so much more fulfilling. for example i can just watch youtube all day and label it as "consolidating the wisdom of the ancient ones who bring enlightenment to all."
people might think you're weird but it sounds more productive than binge watching minecraft args with about 500 views per video. which could also be reworked as "continuously engrossing myself into convoluted and unseen realities of excavation and creation"
You no longer feel bad that you did nothing the entire day with wizardspeak. Wizards are literally the solution to all of your problems, you just havent seen it yet.
If you don't feel wizard-y enough you could always go to your local fast food chain in a complete set of spellbinding attire. The best part is that wizards dress fairly simple but the REAL showstopper is in the hat.
You cant have a wizard without a pointy hat, its criminal. With or without the brim a wizard is nothing without their headwear. No spell will ever come close to the magnum opus that is their wizard hat.
Speaking from another random possibly twitter or tumblr poster's experience is that cool air can be kept in that little pocket of pointy cloth so your head would never get extremely sweaty.
If you become a wizard and hate social interaction you can just hide under your hat brim for concealment and if you live in a country with strict social rules nobody's coming to talk to you ever.
I'd say the one downside about being a wizard is that you're going to be CONSTANTLY perceived because you dress like a rogue church pastor with cult like tendencies hence the hat.
To a good chunk of the world (including i) negatively or positively, being perceived is like having 3,543,876 tiny medical syringes stabbed onto all parts of your body and you can do nothing about it until the person or people decide to leave. Its a horrendous experience which makes me wish i could grab my brain and smooth it out permanently so i can remove the aspect of shame and live a peaceful life.
however
If being perceived is your thing and god made you lucky to skip out on this feature i totally recommend wizarding sometime.
In conclusion, or a TLDR, if you are okay with being seen and judged be a wizard, its fun.
Thank you for your time ദ്ദി(ᵔᗜᵔ)
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thewirewitch · 2 years
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I posted 1,157 times in 2022
That's 1,074 more posts than 2021!
74 posts created (6%)
1,083 posts reblogged (94%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@softichill
@calagua
@reffiespace
@regardsandregrets
I tagged 1,151 of my posts in 2022
Only 1% of my posts had no tags
#reblog - 1,051 posts
#text post - 141 posts
#reblog game - 133 posts
#my stuff - 90 posts
#video - 70 posts
#important - 70 posts
#birds - 43 posts
#tw caps - 41 posts
#tw swearing - 39 posts
#gif - 37 posts
Longest Tag: 124 characters
#the disappointment is immeasurable when i check out an album and find only one song has the right sound to it from that band
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
That post I just reblogged reminded me of how much I hate the color salmon, especially when I try to sort items by color, specifically Silly Bands.
I collected Silly Bands as a kid (still have them by the way) and there was this one...just this one that was salmon. Pretty sure it’s a fire extinguisher, but I would end up putting it in the pink pile, then the orange pile, then the pink, then the orange, and I just couldn’t accept it in either pile so I left it all alone which also made me unhappy because it was the only one that didn’t have any color matches.
Salmon is too orange to be pink and too pink to be orange.
7 notes - Posted July 6, 2022
#4
Gonna talk about some serious stuff.
If you’re not up to hear about sickness or hospital or personal stuff, please don’t read under the cut because that’s what I’ll be talking about and I’ll be giving some details which will probably be tmi (to much information) but I wanna let those who want to know what’s up some detailed stuff about what’s been going on.
If you don’t want to read all that: I haven’t been feeling good for about a week+ now. I have been trying to get a diagnosis. I got nothing so far.
For the past...a few days over a week now, I’ve been waking up feeling pretty bad. Rapid heartbeat, cold chills (usually), uneasy stomach, weakness, diarrhea, dehydration, it hasn’t been fun. It’s been hard for me to get into the right mood to eat something even when I’m hungry, and recently I’ve also been unable to tell when my bladder is full and also the past two days when I woke up my feet were halfway asleep. This has never happened before and it’s been worrying me.
I went to an Urgent Care three days ago. They took swabs for covid and flu. Both were negative. They took a urine test, and they found nothing. They want me to bring them a stool sample, which I hope will give them the answers that they need to help me feel better, but some issues came up where that day I barely ate anything, then next I was able to eat, and this morning I incorrectly got a sample because they originally gave me the wrong stuff (AKA not enough stuff) and no instructions.
Yesterday I went to the hospital’s emergency room to get some stuff done. They took blood samples, urine samples, and did a covid swab. All came back without any answers. I thought I may have been low on iron, but they said that my iron levels were fine, I was just dehydrated.
I have a doctor’s appointment in 7 days. I hope either Urgent Care figures out what’s going on or I feel better before that appointment. I can tell I’ve already lost weight and my energy levels have been pretty low. I don’t want to have to wait that long to possibly get an answer.
8 notes - Posted September 15, 2022
#3
Today is my birthday.
I know it’s 8pm and I could have posted this a lot earlier but I was distracted by getting and later eating cake.
9 notes - Posted August 28, 2022
#2
The fun thing about listening to radio static for hours on end is that you begin to hear things that aren’t really there.
Voices, music, patterns, indistinguishable tones. You catch small glimpses of these sounds, small scraps of something that never was.
You hear the ghosts of stations you’ve listened to, frequencies you’ve picked up in the past. But it’s just you and the sound of undead air.
10 notes - Posted August 7, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
Oh shoot it's National Throw Short People Day.
Have mercy on me!
(⊙_⊙;)
12 notes - Posted October 21, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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destinygoldenstar · 8 months
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Responding To Ninjago Hot Takes (Round Three)
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Hey, remember the post I made asking people for Ninjago Hot Takes?
No?
Links here
I said I was gonna respond to some, so well, here we are. I’ll just do a post per hot take, cause some of these I have way too much to say, and I want to shout out people who made these in the first place. (Please support these people, even if you don’t agree with what they said.)
I’m going to repeat this for every post: I’m going to approach these hot takes in two ways: How hot I think they are as takes, and whether or not I agree with the take. Know that I’m just using both of these to reflect on others opinions, which is always fun to see, and I will try to be as respectful as possible to the person. (You guys be respectful too) And as always reblog some of your hot takes in either this post or the other one, preferably the other one.
So I’m gonna go from oldest reblog and onward.
@blazeymc
They said:
’Ok, something recently I learned is a very unpopular opinion..’
‘I'm a big fan of Secrets of the Forbidden Spinjitzu, especially the Fire Chapter. I think that Aspheera is an amazing villain, even if she is just yet another "I hate Wu" character.’
‘Idk, I don't really have much to say about it other than that.’
I don’t know if you follow my blog or not, but… I don’t think you were trying to win with Agreement points with me.
People who know me KNOW that’s my least favorite season. So tragically I personally do not agree with this at all.
There was just so SO so SO MUCH wrong with it for me. From the many filler episodes that were not justified in the narrative, to Aspheera just being a total cliche of a villain and an annoying character at that, (At least Crystalized mocked her), to the misuse of certain characters, to the length not being justified, to the use of the Ice Emperor…
I could be here all day. You get it.
I’ll admit there’s SOME stuff I like. Some good scenes, a good concept, the use of the Never Realm is pretty neat. But it’s not enough for me to put it higher.
So instead for this one, I’m gonna talk more about the Spiciness side of this.
Tbh, I don’t think it’s as Spicy as you think it is. I’ve actually seen multiple Tumblr Posts and YouTube videos defending this season and giving very persuasive arguments as to why it’s a good season.
I don’t agree with said arguments. But I have to confess it’s very neat to see people praise this season. I’m happy they enjoy a season of this show that I don’t as much. And I want to give more power towards that.
I don’t think it’s as unpopular as you think. I think you’ll find some pretty big Secrets of the Forbidden Spinjitsu fans. Are there people like me who dont like it? Yes. But not as many as you think.
I feel like whenever this show has a season that’s not top tier, people REALLY love to point out the negative stuff in that season. And then other people just jump on the hate train cause it seemed like the objective take. And that’s true for any fanbase, not just Ninjago.
So when this season was being as experimental as it was, and people weren’t vibing it at first, they were quick to label it as one of the worst seasons. Which I dont think was entirely fair. The exact same thing can happen to overhyped things. Then people come back to it and realize it’s not as good as they thought it was.
That’s not entirely the case for me, as this is so far the ONLY season where I actually gave up 5 Episodes in.
Then I came back to the season next year, after the hate was died down because Master of the Mountain was airing and I needed to catch up. So I saw Secrets of the Forbidden Spinjitsu and Prime Empire and… yeah. I didn’t like Secrets of the Forbidden Spinjitsu. But at least I can safely say I formed my own opinion rather than rely on the Internet.
I tend to do that a lot for Ninjago. I started watching the show when Rebooted was coming out, got upset at the ending cause I was a kid and loved Zane, so I stopped watching it. Then I came back around Hands of Time airing, watched the other seasons. Then I was there when Sons of Garmadon came out.
You might be shocked to hear this, but when Sons of Garmadon first aired, I DID NOT LIKE IT. It was too different to my dumb early teen self, and I was just angry at the cliffhanger.
Do I stand by that now? No. I was an IDIOT back then. It’s one of the best seasons of the show ever.
So you kinda get a picture on what I’m trying to say.
I think some people have done the same for Secrets of the Forbidden Spinjitsu as well.
I’ll give you a 5 for Spiciness for this reason.
But only a 2 for Agreement.
Continue to be a fan.
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c-is-for-circinate · 3 years
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Like, is the gist "Real life pedophilia/incest/rape is bad, and stories saying these things are good are bad, but including these topics in a story isn't inherently bad, so the people being like 'hey, maybe Ao3 shouldn't have so much kiddie porn there's an entire category called "Underage"' are just overreacting and making things worse?" Because it feels like you're saying, "your negative reaction to this stuff is valid, but also you're annoying and prudish and bad and really you aren't valid."
So here’s the thing: it really does not sound like you're asking this question because you want my answer, it sounds like you want to be angry with me and have a fight. And fair enough! I'm not terribly interested in a fight, but apparently this is my day to dive into this topic as thoughtfully and honestly as I can be. Maybe I'll say something you haven't already heard from other people before. Maybe not! Only you, anonymous asker, know that.
To begin with, you got part of the gist right. Real life rape (including child abuse/child sexual abuse as well as incest) is bad. Stories about rape, about underage sex, and about incest, are stories.
They're stories. They're pixels on a screen. They're not real. Whether they claim that rape is good, or bad, or sexy, or melodramatic, or life-destroying, or a normal Tuesday afternoon. They're stories.
And having a negative reaction to them is valid. Stories can stir up powerful emotions in people. It is absolutely, 100%, fair and valid and even normal for there to be certain tropes, plot elements, events, and kinds of content that make you upset and that you never want to see in a story you read, ever. You don't have to want to read about sex. You don't have to want to read any of it. That doesn't make you bad.
There are tropes, plot elements, events, and kinds of content that upset me. There are stories I won't read. The same is true of literally everyone else I know. Even though I know the stories aren't real. Even though I know the things happening in them are happening to fictional characters, who do not exist, who I cannot protect and who also cannot be harmed because they're not real. Even then, I can be made sad and scared and upset and hurt by reading those stories. And that is okay and that is valid and I am not bad or wrong for being upset about the story I've read, and neither are you.
But that doesn't mean the story doesn't have value to somebody else. That doesn't mean the story isn't important to somebody else.
What I see most often coming from antis, possibly even including yourself, is an overwhelming desire to protect. They want to keep themselves and others--possibly people they know, possibly hypothetical people they may never meet--safe from being hurt by these stories. And that desire to protect, also, is normal. It's even admirable! The problem, though, the thing that does more harm than good, is when that desire to protect drives people to lash out against things that matter to other people.
There is a difference between actual rape and stories about rape. There is a difference between a story that could theoretically hurt somebody, someday (which is all stories, always), and a story that hurts you personally. And there is a difference between a story that hurts you personally, and a story that is inherently poisonous to everyone who touches it.
We know--absolutely, scientifically, incontrovertibly--that stories about rape do not make people rapists. Yes, even the stories where the rape is there to be sexy. Even stories where the person being raped is a child. Even then. Fiction is not the same thing as normalization; again, there are far smarter people who have written far more extensively on that topic than I, and next time I come across something that goes more into detail on this point I promise I will reblog it. If this really is the thing you're afraid of, I may not be the right person to convince you that this is an unfounded fear, but I know someone out there can elaborate on it.
(Unfounded, which is not the same thing as invalid. My mother's claustrophobia is unfounded; it flares up in many situations where there's no physical threat whatsoever, where she has plenty of space to move and air to breathe. It's still real. It still chokes her. It's still valid, she is not bad or broken to feel that way, and she still can't drive through certain tunnels. The fear is real. But the thing she's afraid of can't physically hurt her, and that is worth knowing in terms of how she deals with it.)
We know, absolutely, scientifically, and incontrovertibly, that stories about rape and many, many, many other things can hurt and even traumatize their readers. Even though the situation you're reacting to is not real and you receive no physical injury, you can still be hurt by it. The key word there, though, is readers. The fact that the horror genre is out there terrifying people who enjoy being terrified for fun does not damage me unless I do something stupid and try listening to the Magnus Archives again and end up tense and miserable and paranoid for the rest of the week. The fact that guacamole is apparently delicious to everybody else in the world does not hurt me unless I do something stupid and order the wrong thing at a restaurant, and end up itchy and miserable with a little trouble breathing for the rest of the night.
The fact that there are, yes, tens of thousands of fics on AO3 in which characters under the age of 18 have sex? It can't hurt you. Those fics do not hurt you by existing. They can only hurt you if you read them. They can only hurt anyone who reads them. That's why there is an 'Underage' tag--and it's worth noting, 'Underage' is a warning, not a category. Nobody wants you to get hurt reading the wrong fic, any more than the sushi chef wants my throat to swell up because I ordered something with avocado. Literally nobody wants that.
The flip side, of course, is that you hating each and every one of those fics individually and as a group doesn't actually hurt me, or anyone else who writes, reads, or enjoys them. By itself. You can hate anything you like, and fic writers can write anything they like, and it all comes out in the end, more or less. Except.
Except that reading fic is always, entirely, 100% opt-in, and online harassment isn't even opt-out. Some antis have a nasty habit of going after writers whose content they don't like; climbing into inboxes and comments sections, calling those writers nasty names, throwing around cruelties and aggression and insults. I know that's not the same thing as simply disliking a genre, or even passively disagreeing with its existence (although disliking a genre and disagreeing with its right to exist are also very different things). I know not all antis do that. I don't know you, anon, but based on the speed and aggressiveness of this response to my last post, I can't help but wonder if you would do that.
And that does hurt people. Just like it might hurt you if someone threw a bunch of content that makes you uncomfortable into your inbox. Including the harasser, actually--because getting into fights with strangers on the internet about things that make you angry, sad, defensive, and upset isn't good for anybody. Including both you and me.
Anyway, after yet another lengthy ramble, let's get the tl;dr response to your ask here: nobody is ever bad or wrong for disliking certain content in their stories, no matter what that content is. You and your emotions are valid. The "overreacting and making things worse" part isn't about what you feel, but what you do with it. Constantly engaging with places where the thing that upsets you will probably show up, even to argue and try to fight it, will make things worse in the sense that now you're spending way more time thinking about this thing that makes you upset and angry, thereby leaving you more upset and angry. Getting together with a bunch of your upset, angry friends to make your feelings everybody else's problem? Makes fandom a more toxic place for everyone else involved.
Don't read stuff that's going to hurt you. Don't make other people read stuff that's going to hurt them. That's the whole thing, really.
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inkdemonapologist · 4 years
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Been a lot of emotions in recent BatIM Call of Cthulhu events!!
Prophet Sammy slipped and sank into the mud in the swamp and immediately went into DROWNING FLASHBACKS from his inky death back in the Star Pools. Stunningly, panicking and thrashing around did not help and in fact only got him more stuck.
Henry was the one to pull Sammy out, which is a bit weird, because the Prophet didn’t actually... expect them to... want to help him??? Henry was also leaking gold blood out of his face from doing some intense magic (???), it’s fine, don’t worry about it.
Prophet Sammy ran out of ink, which he has to drink periodically to keep himself from changing back into normal Sammy, and JOEY... GAVE HIM SOME OF HIS OWN INK SO HE COULD HAVE A LITTLE MORE TIME???? Both me and the Prophet were absolutely flabbergasted.
We rescued Jack’s old boyfriend Peter, that newspaper editor guy from before! He was trapped in another world and Jack managed to guide him back to this one and we all pulled his reflection out of the Lake and fought off the eldritch horror that tried to follow him out to our world! THERES A LOT HAPPENING IN THIS GAME
As always Boo has the summary posts for a more detailed description of events, but if you’re here for out-of-context quotes IVE GOT YOU COVERED, here’s some quotes from Session 7:
[Sammy is played by me, Joey is played by Boo (inkyvendingmachine), Henry is played by Maf (inkcryptid), Jack is played by Mochi (whatyouwantedmetosee) and Thren (haunted-hijinxer) is our GM!]
[Henry] *rolling dice* Some nice dice clacking for the auditory experience, [Sammy] Call of Cthulhu ASMR [Joey] Some clacking dice, some screaming,
[GM] But you are on the shallower end of it, so you're not sinking. You are SUPER muddy. [Joey] That's fine-- [Jack] Noooo!! Jack's sweater!!!!!
[GM] Jack's turn! Make a luck roll, Jack! [Jack] *rolls terribly* ...hrrMMM... [GM] Okay. We'll just. We'll just keep that. For later. :)
[Sammy] Sammy is scrambling and panicking and yelling! [GM] Make a strength check! [Sammy] Cool, I'm good at those. *rolls* Success! [GM] You strongly thrash yourself about waist-deep in the mud. [Sammy] [Sammy] OKAY, um, [Sammy] That is. Uh. Worse. Than it was previously, yes? [GM] Yeah. :) [Sammy] OKAY, COOL,,, JUST CHECKING,
[Sammy] I don't think it's good when the GM says "Fun!" I think that's bad.
[GM] *flipping through notes* Where are your stats. Where are your stats, sir. [Sammy] "Young man, where are your stats?" [Jack] If he didn't do his homework, then all his stats are zero.
[Henry] Nope. I'm gonna accept my fate. Henry's goin' to space. [GM] The angel doesn't try to claw Henry, but it does pick him up! He's in the air. [Henry] Bye guys!
[GM] A gunshot does come from the brush also, and it hits the angel next to the one that's got Henry. [Henry] (Thanks, Norman!) [Jack] Does Norman have a gun??? [GM] Norman's not going to go into a cult swamp without a gun! What kind of crazy person would do that?!
[Sammy] I'm sorry if we lose your hat, Jack. [Jack] D: Nooo it's not his hat! [Sammy] Yeah I know, well I'm sorry if we lose it. [Joey] Yeah, sorry. [Jack] Noooo he needs to give that back! [Joey] well then he should wAKE UP!!! [Sammy] Love the idea that Peter later comes through here and finds his own hat discarded on the ground and is like, OH NO, JACK! [GM] Make another luck roll, maybe it's still on. [Jack] Okay dice! This is the ONLY thing I need you t-*sound of dice bouncing off the desk* whoOPS--
[Henry] *still held aloft by eldritch horrors* I'm guessing I don't hear anything either [GM] No, you're just having a nice little roller coaster ride.
[Joey] Ohhh... I guess we wouldn't need to breathe in space, huh. [Joey] ...AM I BREATHING???
[Joey] What time is it... are we at like, 8:30, 9ish? [GM] Well that's highly specific! What happens at 8:39?!
[Joey] Joey's still not willing to let random cultists carry Jack, unless they can do something to convince him??? [Sammy] I feel like the main convincing tool at this point is GUNS? Pointed at us. I think that's the main thing.
[Jack] I guess Jack is the imposter, since he's not doing human things like "breathing"
[GM] And shove all of you into a hut! With Norman-- no, that's right, he didn't get caught, I keep forgetting, his Hide skill is higher than I thought it was. Norman's still at large! [Jack] NORMAN, IS LOOSE, IN THE SWAMP [Joey] What crimes will he commit!
[Jack] This is why you don't smear your weird glowing blood on symbols that are known to watch!!!
[GM] They probably did take away a lot of your cooler stuff. [Sammy] I didn't have any cool stuff. I just had a coat. [Joey] You had ink. [Sammy] *muttering* I wasn't going to mention that that was in my coat.
[Joey] Joey is going to grab Sammy's face... and give him some of his ink. [Sammy] *stunned* Oh...! [Joey] We don't need a passed out Sammy!! [Jack] Only ONE unconscious man in this party!
[Jack] How has Cthulhu AU made "Joey feeds Sammy ink" wHOLESOME in some way?!?
[GM] They've got him in a robe now, and they've painted that yellow sign on it -- possibly in Henry's blood, because why not! [Joey] Excuse me, you did not get license to use that; I'm going to sue you in court now, [Jack] Unethically sourced! [GM] ...Did you just call Henry's blood your IP?
[GM] *startled laugh* my husband just said "Intravenous Property,"
[GM] The other prophet guy seems to be having a grand old time. It is even-odds whether he might just look over to see if Sammy's looking, just to smirk at him. [Sammy] oHHHHHH BOY. I hate this guy! I hate him. [Jack] Okay, well, I wanna-- [Sammy] *still going* I know who I'M sacrificing. [Jack] --Sammy, no. [Joey] You want to make a GOOD sacrifice, not give him trash. [Sammy] ...*sighs* Yeah, yeah, you're right... [Jack] You don't want to give the Masked Messenger a McDonald's burger.
[GM] It's Pete! [Sammy] Oh! Sammy vaguely knows who this is. [Henry] I'm gonna make a check to see if Henry recognises this guy, in the heat of the moment. [Jack] In the Pete of the moment. >:3c [Sammy] *groans* Why would you do this. Everyone was being so well-behaved.
[Sammy] I'm gonna... I'm gonna wait. Gonna be actually, a little bit smart. Trying out this new thing.
[GM] One of the angels is definitely heading your way. [Jack] Oops. [Sammy] ...what if we just... close the door.
[GM] And a sanity roll from Joey and anyone else that is watching this. [Sammy] *sarcastic deadpan* Oh No. I'd Better Look Away. *scoffs* Why would I NOT want to watch my lord work?
[GM] It does a d8 + damage bonus, which, I don't think Joey has one. But it does a d8. [Joey] Does Bendy have one? [GM] No! Bendy's damage bonus is NEGATIVE TWO because he's a tiny cartoon character! You don't want his damage bonus. [Jack] You attack and there's a squeaky hammer noise,
[GM] Peter doesn't seem to have a reflection. [Sammy] ...Do we? [GM] Yeah [Sammy] Okay. That's cool, that's nice, luv 2 reflect. [Jack] *whispering* Peter vampire???
[GM] Sammy thinks this is a spawn of the Yellow King, something that happens to people who dabble too much in his worship. [Sammy] Again, MORE reason why this guy is an idiot and trusting the wrong god! [Sammy] ...Sammy knows all this stuff and is still like "yeah, but the Masked Messenger is cool! I'll definitely be rewarded for my service!"
[Jack] Jack didn't learn how to ASTRAL PROJECT for Pete to get eaten by something!!
[Sammy] Did they steal our ink??? [GM] Looks like they poured it out. [Jack] Pour one out for their FAKE LORD,
[Jack] Rescued. From a cult. By a second, different cult! [Joey] Our cult is COOL, though. [Henry] the coolt
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domesticblisss · 3 years
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Silence
Timothy Thatcher x Female Reader Rating: Mature (Minors DNI) Word Count: 1493 Warnings: Fluff, smut, one bed. Summary: Tim finally tells reader why he acts like he does. A/N: This is a continuation to this drabble. You should read it before reading Silence.
We didn’t talk that morning. When I woke up, Tim was already out of bed and nowhere to be found, so I followed through with my routine.
The cheery, blonde receptionist still sat on the front desk, happily greeting everyone that stopped by.
“Good morning, Miss. Did you sleep well?” She asked when I approached her.
“Like a baby. Do you have any news on the snowstorm?”
“It picked up during the night, the roads are still closed and they have no idea when they are opening again. The news this morning said it might get worse, actually.”
“Damn, guess I will be staying more than one night here.” I laughed. “Do you think you could do me a favour? If it’s possible, could I get an extra bed in my bedroom?”
“We are packed, but I will see what we can do, Miss.” Anna, I could finally see the name on her ID plate, said with her sickly sweet voice. God, I wanna hug her.
“Thank you, sweetheart.”
Breakfast was uneventful, except for the fact that I met Marcel and Fabian at the buffett.
“Where’s Tim?” Marcel asked after we sat down to eat.
“No clue, he was already gone when I woke up.”
“He didn’t text you or anything?”
“Are we talking about the same person?” I asked as I shoved a piece of hash browns inside my mouth, “you guys know Tim hates me, he only works and travels with me because the company makes him.”
“He doesn’t hate you.” Fabian opened his mouth for the first time. The ironic look I had on made him continue. “He just… he has a hard time opening up.”
Yeah, right.
All of our phones beeped at the same time.
Text message from: Emily H. (NXT Prod)
The show is cancelled. Please stay safe in your hotels and send us the invoice so the company can reimburse you. I’ll hit back with new info as soon as they come out.
“Time to figure out how to have fun in a snowstorm, boys.”
Turns out, the hotel is way bigger than we thought and has a lot to do during a snowstorm. We hit the gym after breakfast and after training, we ended up finding out that the hotel has a huge gaming room, a cinema, a sauna, a big library, and they were even offering cooking classes. Marcel wearing an apron was such a sight.
It was past 7p.m. when I arrived, and Tim was already back in the room. He sat on the bed, a book in his hands and his headphones on. He didn’t acknowledge me.
It was when I left the bathroom after my shower that he finally talked to me for the first time that day.
“Didn’t see you come in.” he said, his voice a little louder as usual.
“Yeah, got back like, forty minutes ago.”
“Did you have a good day?”
I actually stopped putting my clothes back onto my suitcase to look at him before answering. He never asked how my day was.
“Yeah. Marcel and Fabian are here too, we spent the day together. The hotel offers a lot of stuff. Did you have a nice day?”
“Yeah.”
And silence fell upon us again. I had just finished getting my things in order and gotten my skincare done when I started feeling hungry. Deciding against leaving the room, it was so, so warm inside, I decided to order in.
“Hey,” I called Tim, “I’m getting room service. Do you want anything?”
“Sure, a cheeseburger is fine.”
“With fries?”
“Sure.”
We ate in silence, we watched whatever movie was on in silence, we fell asleep in silence.
The following days we were stuck in the hotel followed the same routine. I would wake up and Tim would be gone, I would chat with Anna, and save her from getting her heart broken by Marcel, him, Fabian and I would have breakfast, hit the gym and explore whatever the hotel had to offer. When I had gotten back to the room, Tim would already be there reading or watching something, we would exchange three words, eat and sleep.
Today, for some reason, I wasn’t blessed by the gods of sleep. As much as I tried not to, I kept tossing and turning, just waiting for the moment Tim would wake up and complain.
“Can’t sleep?” his hoarse voice came from behind me.
“No, sorry for waking you up.”
“You didn’t, can’t sleep either.” he got up as I turned around to look at him. “Do you want some tea?”
“It’s…” I looked at my phone to check the time “2 a.m., room service is not working anymore.”
“I’m making it. Peppermint tea helps you sleep, want it or not?”
“Sure…”
He comes back from the tiny kitchen five minutes later, with two mugs in hand, and hands me one.
We drink the tea in silence, and I take it as my cue to ask him the same question I did on our first night here.
“Why do you hate me, Tim?”
He sighs and takes his left hand to his head, disheveling his already messy hair. “I don’t hate you.”
“Okay… then why do you strongly dislike me?”
“I don’t have negative feelings towards you, I think you are a nice person. Why do you keep asking me this?”
I sat my mug on the side table and turned to face him, laughing. “Tim, are you serious? You barely look at me, you don’t say more than two words to me, and when you do, you get annoyed with me and shuts me off mid-sentence. I know I’m annoying but c’mon. Have I ever done anything to you?”
“No, you have not.”
“Then why do you treat me like this? I know you are a quiet dude, but I’ve known you since your Ringkampf days, I’ve seen you around your friends.”
Tim sighed again and laughed a defeated laugh. And nothing. Five minutes passed and, like usual, he didn’t dignify me with an answer.
“See, this is what I’m talking about. You alwa-”
“I strongly like you.” he cut me off, raising his eyebrows as if he wanted to cue me in on a secret.
“Huh?”
“Since that day we met backstage at PROGRESS.”
“Then why didn’t you do anything?”
“You were dating Brookes at the time and he was my friend, why would I act on it?”
“If it serves as consolation, Chris used to cheat on me all the time.”
Silence fell upon us once again, but this time it is different. Tim’s face is stony as he stares at me, his eyes are softer than usual, and I can see that he is processing what I had just revealed. Chris and Tim were good friends, but Tim is also known for his thoughts on how women should be treated.
Once again, I took it in my hands to break the silence.
“Then why don’t you do something about it now?” I raise my eyebrows like he had done previously.
Tim’s lips were on mine in no time. They are hungry, but soft at the same time, I can feel the need coming from them. His touch feels like how I had always imagined, it is strong and rough, and he cradles my face like he never wanted me to go away.
Eventually, we separate to catch some air and I see the need in his eyes. Tim grabs me by my arms and positions me on his lap. He attacks my neck, kissing and biting it, and he moves his ministrations to the skin of my chest that is exposed on the camisole I’m wearing.
I can feel his hard on poking my core, and I roll my hips around to tease him. I can feel how affected he is by it, as he curses after every shift of my hips.
It gets unbearable after he starts meeting me halfway.
“Tim, this is great and all,” I moan as he bites the sweet spot behind my ear, “but I need you inside me, now.”
We waste no time taking our clothes off, as Tim lowers his shorts down enough to take his cock out and I just shove my panties to the side.
He is thicker than I had anticipated, and it takes me some time to get used to it. We fall into a steady rhythm, his thrusts always meeting me halfway.
I could sense he was near his end, just like me, when he picked up speed. I lost it after one particularly strong stroke on my g-spot, having to bite his shoulder so I wouldn’t wake up the whole hotel. He kept going, taking a second, earth shattering orgasm from me, his own coming right after.
Tim held me closer, tighter. We laughed and kissed, and our night went on like we knew best: in silence, enjoying each other.
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zeldas-cigarrette · 4 years
Text
Illicit affairs. (1)
Tumblr media
(not my gif:))
⎯ zelda spellman x reader
⎯ word count: 2,1k
⎯ warnings: slight mention of alcohol
⎯ summary: after a night out you wake up next to Zelda Spellman, later you find out you two met in a bar the night before.
⎯ ❥ author’s note: I don’t know how I got this idea but I thought it’d be fun to just write it down and see what happens, I’ll maybe do another two parts because I want to finish it with a happy ending:) ✨
⎯ ⎯ ⎯ ⎯ ⎯ ⎯ ⎯ ⎯ ⎯
A loud and penetrating noise tore you out of your sweet sleep, as soon as your eyes flung open you felt a sting in your head. The memories of last night were blurry and you had no idea how you ended up in your bed. Only the regularly set alarm on your phone stopped you from sleeping any longer. Usually, you weren’t someone who drinks but something about yesterday made you forget about it. You didn’t dare to move, everybody part seemed to hurt with the slightest of movements. It was just your white bedroom ceiling, that you saw. The sun had begun to rise and the morning sky was dipped in shades of pink. Without further thinking you started to get up, not wanting to be late for your job as a teacher in the academy of unseen arts. You were afraid of Zelda, the headmistress, the woman never seemed to like you. You never knew why.
Your head turned to the other side of the room to see if you had broken anything in your state last night. Unknowingly of what to expect next to you, your heart missed a beat for a second. On top of your fluffy white pillow Zelda Spellman was laying. Not even able to think clearly, you tried to put the pieces of last night in the place. In between some very clear scenes more and more occurred only black pictures. You had no clue how in hell the often resilient witch ended up next to you in bed. Curiously, you bent over her face to see if she was somewhat conscious. You waved your hand over her face, one time, two times; nothing.
Soft snores left her slightly opened mouth. This was bad; ‘when she wakes up you’re dead’ you thought. It took you a lot of courage to make the first step and poke her with your finger, not sure of what was about to happen. Her eyes quickly opened, her eyes met yours. A maybe unwanted cry escaped her mouth causing you to join out of surprise of the sudden noise. „Satan, why did you have to scream?” you asked massaging your ear in pain. „What am I doing here?” her voice still a bit raspy. You tried to play it cool, trying to hide the blush on your cheeks you turned away searching for any evidence of last nights events. Still nothing. „Did we…” „I don’t think so.”
It was awkward, none of you knew anything. Just now you realised how chill it was in your apartment. „Okay, don’t worry. We’ll figure this out, just get dressed, I’ll make coffee if you want some,” you declared hopping out of the bed and covering your body with a gown. You shot her a last glance before exiting your bedroom, though a bit shaky. How much alcohol did you consume to be in that state now? Passing the few paintings on your walls on the way to the kitchen, you switched on your coffee machine, hoping it wouldn’t be too awkward. Soon the smell of fresh coffee filled the air and also Zelda seemingly disappointed walked around the corner.
„What in Satan’s name happened last night?” the woman asked puzzled. You handed her a cup of coffee, noticing a silver ring tugging on her left hand. „Nice ring,” you smiled. „What ring? I don’t wear rings!” „Obviously you do now,” you replied pointing at it. The witch’ forehead laid in wrinkles before she shook her head as if she couldn’t believe her own eyes. „Why you? Why am I in your house?” she suddenly snapped and harshly placed the cup on the table. „Calm down, I don’t know and I could’ve also imagined someone nicer than you.” Wrong you couldn’t, you craved her attention. Since the very first moment you laid eyes on the red-headed witch, you found it hard to avert your gaze. Only an eye roll signalised how annoyed she was. „Okay, I came into that bar and ordered something… I don’t remember what,” you whispered to yourself. You heard the older woman scoff in. „What? Do you know what happened?” your voice grew energetic way too fast. Silence. It was this gruelling silence where you feel so little you don’t even dare to break the ongoing nothingness. You glanced down at your fingers, finding a silver ring, looking similar to the one that Zelda was wearing. „Why do I have the same ring as you?” in your voice grew to panic. Her head jolted in your hand’s direction. The pupils of her green eyes grew wide in split seconds. „You don’t think we-“ „I don’t know? I’m not even sure how I ended up at home,” you stammered unsure of what words to choose next. Obviously, the situation was uncomfortable for both parties, Zelda couldn’t stop herself from pinching the bridge of her nose in disbelief of her memory loss.
That woman always seemed like the most put-together person you knew, there were hardly any encounters or incidents that let people see kind of emotion. „You go to the academy and do whatever you have to, and I will look for any evidence or signs that could verify our theory,” it was hard to stay calm. You weren’t ready for such thing as marriage and Zelda clearly seemed to dislike you and if you both really did it last night; you couldn’t even imagine what to do then. It didn’t take long until the witch disappeared from your kitchen. You let yourself fall on one of the chairs, head in your hands, covering your eyes with fingers in the hope to bring back the memories.
The constant sips of coffee that ran down your throat didn’t wipe out the dizzy feeling in you nor did they wake you as they used to. Watching the sun as it rose just made you sleepier. It didn’t get in your head how you had absolutely no proper memories from your night out. Yes, it’s been stressful and you just wanted to take a break from your negative thoughts and all the stuff that’s been weighing you down, but it was never your intention to get so drunk or to upset the mighty Zelda Spellman herself. You gulped audibly before you forced yourself up from the chair. It was time to dig a little deeper and to scour your apartment, next to the bar you went to.
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥
It was useless, there was no paper or anything that could tell you what happened the night before. The whole morning and parts of the afternoon, you spent searching. Under your bed, you also rummaged through the kitchen drawers. Nothing.
A knock on your door nearly startled you to death, so deeply concentrated were you on finding anything in the living room. You pushed yourself up from the ground, walking up to your front door. A look through the spy drowned your mood completely. You knew the woman would show up at least in the evening, but you did not think it’d be right after work.
„Anything found yet?” „Well, Hello to you too, and no- nothing,” you sighed and let her enter your small apartment. „The last option is, to head to the bar and ask some people who’ve been there with us yesterday,” you shrugged and stared at the silvery ring you placed on the kitchen counter earlier. „The whole day I’ve been asking myself what has happened, and I cannot puzzle the pieces together, and as much as I hate to admit; you’re right,” Zelda’s sudden thought sharing startled you. „Alright, then let’s go.” You stepped on the gas as much as possible, still, it felt like a ride on a snails back. The whole situation was too crazy and odd to be true, but it was.
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥
Arriving at the bar, a neon sign greeted you. You remembered entering the place and a weird smell embracing you, smelt like cigarettes mixed with Urin. The thought of spending time in there suddenly disgusted you. A huge glass door, meant as entrance, was pushed open by the fiery witch, stomping in the alcohol hole. She immediately rushed towards a young man behind the bar, who was mixing cocktails. „Tell me, what happened here,” while yelling her voice wandered between three different ranges. „What she meant was, Hello we need your help could you tell us what happened last night,” you intervened shooting her a warning glare. His shocked face softened, „You were the girls who got married last night,” a deep laugh followed. Zelda was just about to throw hands before you were able to pull her back to where she stood. „Oh so we did… get married,” you remarked confused, „Can you possibly tell us more?” „Yes sure, you two got drunk and started talking to each other.” „You don’t get married by just talking… Justin,” you read his tag. „Of course not, as the night went on the sparks flew,” Justin cackled. Idiot. „Mhh, the sparks flew, then?” it wasn’t easy to get the worst of you but this guy was on the best way. „Sorry, Sorry,” he defensively held up his hands, „There was a priest in the corner and when you two found out about him, you rather fast decided to get married,” the idiotic bartender explained. Zelda’s fox fur shook with her in anger. All your face muscles dropped, not knowing what’ll happen next. „Was it a catholic?” Zelda asked concerned. Oh god, if it was a Catholic priest, you two were fucked, dead, excommunicated, just all the bad stuff. „I suppose so,” he shrugged. Her face shot in your direction, the looks you two shared said more than words could. What made a catholic priest come to this filthy – you can’t call it a bar- hole. „We’re going,” she rapidly grabbed your wrist pulling you after her.
„Ouch, god what is it with you,” you freed your wrist from her grasp. „Do you know what happens if anybody finds out we got married, worse by a catholic priest from the false god?” she huffed crossing her arms in front of her chest. „It’s bad, but we can’t undo it,” you took a step back. „It is all your fault that this misery came upon us and you have nothing better to say than , we can’t undo it’,” she imitated you. You scoffed. „My fault?” ‘Never be so polite to forget to show power’ your grandma once said. The whole day you tried to be polite, to be understanding and to comfort the one who hated you from the very beginning you showed up at the academy. Now she was accusing you of planting the idea of getting married in her brain, to that agreement belongs two people. „Listen, I tried to be nice but right now you’re giving me a very hard time,” you hissed, „It needs two people to get married and obviously you agreed to it, so now Zelda Spellman I want to think about your next words or you can stay here and I’ll leave you alone with this drunk heads in there.”
Seconds passed before she spoke up again, „Alright I’m sorry.” „Good, let’s get in there and ask if there was maybe a certificate or anything that proves our marriage. I get that you do not want to be married to me, neither would I but we have to figure this out together.” The older woman nodded, realising that there was no other way out. Entering the bar for a second time you approached Justin again. „Do you -by chance- know where the certificate is?
„Yes you left it at the table and I kept it behind the bar,” he explained. „Okay, can I have it?” „And what do I get for that?” „What do you get for that? I’ll show you what you get,” Zelda hissed ready to lose it all. „Stop it.” You warned her and held her back. „What do you want smiley face?” the tone on your voice grew harsh. „A night… with you,” It left you speechless. A look at the woman next to you made it clear she wasn’t fond of it either. „Forget it,” you snapped trying not to put a hex on him. This was it, there was no way to sneak behind that stupid bar.
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥
„Don’t you dare to suggest I should sleep with that idiot,” you mumbled and closed the car door a bit too loud. „I wasn’t.” It relived you to know she wouldn’t go that far. „Okay, Okay, Okay,” you started to panic, „I’m freaking out, we are so fucked if anyone ever finds that out.”
You started the engine of the car, sighing. „Calm down, we’ll figure something out,” the usually emotional cold woman reassured you. You just nodded hiding a tiny smile. Maybe it wouldn’t be too bad after all.
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yanderecandystore · 4 years
Note
PLEASE i need more of your among us concept, it was so good!
Hi!! How are you doing? I saw a lot of people want more of these, so I wanted to gain some time to be able to come up with more stuff about Yandere Among Us.
So, I hope you didn't wait too long. How about we continue where we left off?
But this time with an proper begining.
TW/Tags: Everyone is fighting // more characters because I hate myself! // Shy boy is a really suspicious boy // not as much as yandere tendencies, but maybe the start of them?? // All characters have real names, but calling each other by colors is a formal military way in this universe, ya know? // Mentions of blood and possibly (just maybe) scent kink 👀 // It may low-key not be like the original game but I tried ;-;
🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭
"- You're pretty sus, not gonna lie." Ch - 1 [Yandere!Among Us x Reader - Short Fanfiction]:
(Ch - 2)
"- And then I told her:' Yo, your chicken is dry as hell!' And then she beat me with a stick." You were currently talking with your best pal, Cyan! You two were in the cafeteria taking a snack-break, while everyone was trying to repair the ship by doing their own assigned tasks.
"- H-Heh, that's so you [Y/N]." Cyan said, although their tone was extremely off, like they didn't know what to say. They haven't eaten anything since the day began, and you were starting to worry if they were okay or not.
"- Buddy, are you okay? You haven't touched any of the snacks I brought you, you haven't even eaten a single marshmallow yet, and I thought these were your favorites!" You told them while shoving more potato chips down your mouth.
To you, the situation was mildly confusing, but to "Cyan" it was an absolute nightmare! How are they supposed to keep this up?? You're going to end up blowing their cover, they just know it!
They started to consider making you their next meal, yet if they did it right now everyone would be suspicious of them, since "they" have been with you ever since you two went to do tasks.
Stars help them, because things can go wrong any minute now! They were sweating under the suit out of nervousness and because of how hot and wet the suit was.
They didn't have time to clean the blood inside of the suit, so it was basically really, really sticky inside it.
They were disassociating until you've put your hand on top of theirs.
"- Cyan, what's wrong?!" You sound so worried, so loud yet concerned. For someone that was floating through space using asteroids to move around, your voice is so- Different, from the empty void out there. They aren't accustomed to this feeling yet.
"- I-I am! Don't worry about it, I, I think I just had a really long day, that's all." They lied through their teeth hoping that you would fall for it. But of course, you're way too stubborn to fall for that.
"- Are you sure tho? I- I could call White to see if you're sick, or maybe-" You were interrupted by the Cyan's scream while they suddenly stood up.
"- No! No, please- You-" Stars, they're terrible at this, aren't they?? They just need to shush you for now, they can't let you call someone else! The more people around them the more anxious they'll be and they will obviously be exposed to-
"- Look, [Y/N]-" -They tried to calm themselves, everything is fine, they just need to think of a way to make your worries go away- "- I'm fine, I promise, okay?" They said while putting their hands on your cheeks forcing you to look at their space suit's helmet.
You feel flustered by the sudden movement. Not only were you caught off guard by their sudden reaction, but-
This- this little thing that they did? Was starting to blossom a lot of unwanted flowers inside your heart.
' God, take a grip [Y/N]! You can't be all flustered in a time like this!' You think to yourself while shaking your head to wipe the lovey-dovey thoughts out of your mind.
You just can't help it though! You guess that ever since your team has been stuck in space- No, ever since you first met Cyan in the facility on Earth and were introduced to your team as their new crewmate, you have found yourself having a crush on Cyan. You hate to admit this, but yeah, they were always kinda… Cute, to you.
Ah well, Cyan was always the rascal, the flirty over the top one. The one that was always playing around yet also keeping their head strong when facing a conflict. Always so radiant yet so down to earth. Oh well, here you go, simping again, oh geez...
You try to wake yourself from your fantasy world, this is not the time [Y/N]!
"- Okay-y then! I-I'm really sorry if I was bothering you!" You try to speak up yet you stutter all the way, making you feel embarrassed at how silly you're acting right now.
And while you're dealing with your inner struggles, Cyan is looking at you really confused (not that you would be able to see it because of their helmet). There is something really strange about the way you talk to them that is making them wonder what your previous relationship with this "Cyan" human was all about, and wondering if they can keep it up with this charade if they observe you and learn more about, well, "how to be themselves" around everyone else.
Actually, this may work perfectly! By getting small clues out of you, they'll be able to decipher how to properly imitate humans!
But, they're still oblivious to human emotions, so this may take more time than expected, luckily you two can spend a lot of time alone-
"- Yooooo, look over there y'all!" You two heard someone shouting while coming into the cafeteria. Oh God, really?-
Of course it was Red, who else would be making fun of you two?
Well, he is not mean, he is just- ARGH!! He keeps picking on you for liking them, and it frustrates you so much when he comes looking all smug-
If your face could, it would turn itself into a tomato and probably pop off of your body and roll away from the embarrassment.
Wow… Okay, that was a little exaggerated, but still!-
"- How is my favorite couple doing on this pleasant evening?" He said while coming forward. His words making you turn on your defensive mode instantly:
"- We're not dating you know! I told you this nineteen times, Geez, stop being an ass…" Yep, really subtle how your cheeks lighten up at the idea of being a couple with Cyan.
And while the rest of the crew is now appearing into vision and coming forward to the cafeteria, Cyan is losing their grip ever so slightly- They can't handle this! It's- It's literally too many of you!
They can't take out every single one of you at once! This is terrible!
They need- They need to calm down and take this suit off. The heat is starting to take over their head.
"- So, how's it been for you two? Ya know, beside all the smooching-" Red says as he looks directly at you awaiting your delicious response, which was a little pouty face, so it meant that his job was done for today "- Have you guys finished your tasks?"
"- Oh! Well, we didn't manage to complete everything, the lights turned off out of nowhere and we couldn't see anything!" You tell him honestly. You're still kinda sad about it, it sucks to finish the day without completing everything you needed to.
Everyone's gathering around and sitting at the main table, it's time for a dinner meeting and assignment of tasks for tomorrow before everyone goes to sleep. God, you already miss your bed so much!
"- Ha! I knew it wasn't just in one room!... But yeah honestly me too, I couldn't finish my task because of the blackout. All that I needed to do was to swipe the card though!" Red said, while stealing one of your snacks, which earned a little "hey" coming from you, he was only joking though, as he returns the snack back to you before he can eat any.
"- Well, don't worry, tomorrow we can finish it!" Said Yellow, trying to lighten up the mood by being positive.
"- I sure do hope so-" Orange was about to say when Blue came in and interrupted all of you.
"- But what if we can't do any of them tomorrow?" Their voice echoed through the cafeteria. Everyone was silent as Blue's words caused a new feeling to arise inside the crew's hearts. Despair.
As no one was saying anything, they continued-
"- You guys seriously haven't noticed our situation yet, have you? We're floating through space because or engines have been broken by the asteroids outside, we can't even navigate this spaceship-"
"- We're trying to fix this-" Pink started, but failed to continue.
"- And while we keep "trying" and not actually doing anything, we are all in danger! Even the facility has stopped communicating with us-"
"- Blue! That 's enough!" White had interrupted his rant. His yelling was starting to get hold of Yellow's feelings, she was always sensitive to yelling and loud noises in general. Truth is, that the most positive person in your group was truly the most negative one in this scenario, yet she wanted to keep everyone together, to keep bringing hope inside everyone, even though she herself didn't truly believed in that hope.
"- W-We-" Yellow tried to speak through her sobbing, trying to hold enough strength to control her bottled up emotions from spitting out.
"- Come on, take deep breaths, I know you can do this-" Black tried to comfort her, like he would to everyone aboard.
"- We-We are all going to die here-e." She whispered in between sobs. Her breathing became more frantic and more desperate for air.
It's the eight time this week someone had a breakdown while everyone was present.
"- Blue, seat down." White asked, yet her normally stern voice made it sounded more like a command, which Blue absolutely despised.
"- I'm-" Blue started, yet, stopped themselves. Wanting to say something towards their distressed crewmate yet deciding to go away and miss tonight's meeting. Again.
"- This is stupid." They said before leaving.
"- Blue come back this instant-" White tried to call them, they didn't even look back.
"- … Didn't even apologise…" Brown said, trying to keep his cool even though he couldn't stand Blue's antics ever since the ship was stuck in space.
"- D-Damnit!" Orange punched the table with her wrists. God, she hated every single second spent in this hellish place. She only retracted her anger when she noticed Yellow flinching from the sound.
"- I'm- I'm so sorry Yellow-"
"- It's fine! D-Don't worry about it!" She said while trying to keep her own little charade going on. But after a month, no one believes her at this point.
"- Yellow I can lead you back to your room! Do you want to company?" Said Pink, their voice sounding just as sweet and cute as their personality. The only one helping everyone stay sane by simply being there and saying "Hi!" every "morning".
"- I would like it." Yellow had calmed herself down enough so she could at least say a couple of words. She said her good nights and followed Pink back into her room.
"- It's another meeting wasted." Green said while packing their things.
"- Well, it could be worse, right? Good night everyone!" Said Purple not really caring about anything at this point.
"- Oh, come on everyone! Shouldn't we discuss our tasks for tomorrow?" Red asked, if not begged for them to come back. How has this happened? How has all your crew started to fall apart so easily?
"- Don't worry Red, we can do that tomorrow morning." Black said while comforting White who was having a headache because of the endless fights inside the spaceship.
This was the third time just this week that your meetings were interrupted by arguing. This is only the second time Blue has actually been the cause of it though.
"- Maybe they miss their family?" Lime asked while referring to Blue.
"- We all do." Brown said while standing up and going to his own bedroom. Muttering something through his teeth that no one could understand.
The whole situation happened so fast, you couldn't even understand what just happened!
"- Are, are we-"
"- Yes [Y/N], you're all dismissed." White answered already knowing what you were going to ask.
"- Oh…. Do you want some?" You asked motioning the snacks up to her, which surprised her yet she appreciated the gesture.
"- Thank you…." She whispered. You nod your head and decide to give her some space. You knew that you didn't need to worry too much about it, as Black was there to help her feel better.
If Black wasn't in this ship, she would have already fallen apart. All of you would.
"- Well, I guess dinner has ended sooner than expected!" Red tried to joke to lighten up your mood, to which you give a little chuckle. God, today is a really terrible day isn't it?
"- Uhn, hey, you're okay? You have been quiet throughout the whole meeting." Red asked Cyan.
Oh. Oh no, please no.
"- Uhn? Yeah? I… did?" They're so dead.
"- Yeah, it was… Pretty odd. Last time Blue yelled you had put them in their place, and it was pretty cool of you to stand for Yellow like that". Red said remembering that day. He didn't have anything against Blue, as he knew Blue is trying their best like everyone else. Yet he didn't like how Blue started to act like an ass lately, especially not even apologising towards Yellow or even the whole crew for that matter.
Cyan was sweating like crazy. They were panicking at the beginning of the meeting because of the amount of humans surrounding them, but when they noticed how easily humans let their distrust control them, they decided to let them speak and see what would happen. Seeing them argue with each other made them feel calmer and safer.
' I won't die!' They thought.
But now? They're raising suspicion again, by literally not doing anything??! How is this possible-
"- Well, it is true but, I don't know Red, Cyan has been pretty tired all day, and besides, Blue doesn't listen to us anymore, so it wouldn't matter anyway." You tried to reason. Yes, Cyan was acting a little different, being a little more shy than their normal self but come on now, everyone has their bad days! Maybe today they are not feeling really well….
You looked up at them, trying to show sympathy to your friend who you still thought was having some personal issues of their own.
"- Yeah! Exactly… Today has been pretty crazy! I think I just need some sleep.". Yeah, really crazy! Their body had hit an spaceship filled with free food, and then they had to disguise themselves as one of the humans inside so they could easily take one by one. But now? They're regretting each second of it! Stars, the anxiety eating them from inside is worse than being all alone in space.
Well, if they ever get out alive, they'll at least have some cool story to tell their own kind about…. If there is anyone waiting for them to return, that is.
"- Oh… That sucks buddy, but you got an point, I guess we all need to relax, and hey! Tomorrow is a new day right?" Red smiled at you two, offering a little bit of positive before you two went inside your rooms. Well, he offered a little bit of positive and a hug, to which you had gladly taken.
Although, Cyan was at first really confused about this gesture, so they stayed a little further away from the sign of affection.
"- Oh come on! Stop being a dork, come over here already!" Red said as he pulled Cyan into the tight hug. It was comforting but you couldn't lie that you felt sandwiched between the two, you tried to warn Red that you couldn't breathe, and Cyan was still panicking but now for a different reason.
Because of the helmet, their sense of smell has been limited considerably, yet by being so near to your bodies, they realized they could still take in your scent. Or maybe it was all the blood inside the suit? Who knows, they just knew that the idea of a next meal was absolutely mouthwatering, and they weren't even hungry! Maybe the idea of having a whole place filled with eleven people was starting to make them salivate uncontrollably, as a child having to wait until they can pick their next candy from the jar.
Maybe they could basket in your scent until they actually feel the need to consume another crewmate.
Red was the first to break the hug, but not before fussing your hair.
"- Well, that's my goodbye for today! I need to restore some energy before I can give you two more hugs!" He entered the door behind him, which lead to his room. An oddly well organized bedroom which was only a couple of steps before your own bedroom.
And after your bedroom, there was Cyan's bedroom.
He gave his last goodbyes before closing the door. You can't help but appreciate that dork, the endless bickering between you two was pretty fun in your opinion.
While turning your back you noticed that was Cyan looking straight at you this whole time, which caused you to squeak in surprise. God, they were way too close! And your hair is a mess!
"- Sooooo… I guess we're alone now, right?" You asked timidly, trying your best to make small talk which still came off pretty awkwardly. You avoided their gaze while trying to come up with what else to say.
"- Yes. Yes we are." Cyan said, their tone was unnaturally dark for their nature, yet when you noticed them approaching you closer, you realized what you said.
"- Oh! No, I didn't mean it like-" You tried to explain the the misunderstanding, thinking that Cyan was about to flirt back with you, even though your comment was purely without malice! You swear it!
"- No making out in the halls, ya love birds!" Red opened his door and screamed, with his smug little face.
"- Geez get a room you two!" Said Pink from the other side of the corridor, their voice being really faint because of the distance between you.
"- We were not, okay?!" You yelled hoping Pink would hear it.
"- Shhhh! Some of us are trying to sleep here!" Orange banged on her door while scolding all of you. Even though she herself was making a lot of noise.
"- S-Sorry!" You responded.
Cyan distanced themselves from you, fuck, every single one of them was hearing you two. Were they all listening to your whole conversation? How were they supposed to kill anyone if everyone is this spaceship is an gossip addict? Always listening for the next tea to be spilled.
While looking at your face they recognized that same hue popping off of your cheeks. Are you perhaps sick? Actually, now they have mentioned it- What would happen if they ate a sick human?
"- Your face is red." They mentioned nonchalantly.
"- Sigh… Yeah." You sigh defeated. What's the point of hiding something that is in your face?! Even if it's fainted, everyone can tell at this point. The only person you aren't sure if they know it yet is, well, Cyan themselves.
"- …"
"- …" An awkward silent start emerging from you two, until they ask:
"- Is it because of me?" Did they, I don't know, brought some sort of sickness aboard with them? Are you passing out? Should they be concerned that your meat could be possibly damaged because of this sickness?
Although their tone is really vague, you still interpreted the question as one of their flirtatious jokes. Truth is that Cyan loves going around flirting with everyone, even with you! And they know that this makes you flustered, so you can't tell if they do it because it's fun for them or if-
Or if they like you….. A little bit.
"- Oh no! You won't fool me this time, I know what you're up to!" You say dramatically, trying to change the conversation to have a more silly tone, yet your whole attempt was dismissed, because as soon as you said that, Cyan started shaking anxiously.
You knew? You knew?! Oh stars, they're done for! They're so dead now!
"- W-What?!" They scream, please don't hurt them, they were only hungry and trying to survive!
"- … Uhn, Cyan? I'm joking." You tell your really skittish friend. Geez they really were acting weird! Normally they would have returned your joke but they are acting so easily terrified!
Did something happen in electrical while you were away?
"- Cyan… Are you hurt? You never told me what happened when the blackout happened." You once again ask them if they were okay. What if… They are scared because of something that happened in electrical? What if… They saw something?
"- What? Oh, I'm- I'm sorry! I didn't mean to freak you out like that." They laugh realizing that you were only "joking" with them. Honestly, your jokes are going to be the death of them.
"- Are you okay tho-"
"- Yes, for the fifth time, I'm doing fine [Y/N]." They… Growled? What? Their sudden anger made you take some steps back, what just happened??
They didn't realize how their tone had come off, they needed to be more careful if they wanted to keep your trust. You… You look so distressed! Did they scared you that bad? If not, than why are you distancing yourself? Why are your eyes so… Watery?
"- I-I'm sorry! I'm really sorry! I didn't mean to…." And why were they apologising? Why does your frightened face cause such an intense feeling inside them? They were supposed to harvest your fear as an way to easily control the situation, but instead they can't help but pity your current state.
"- I've been, really stressed out, I didn't mean to yell." They say, half true, half lie. I mean, their first day is already being so strange and stressful, anyone would've expected them to end up blowing up at some point.
"- No! No, don't worry about it, I, sigh… Honestly I'm pretty stressed out myself. I guess I was so worried about you that I ended up bothering you with my questions." You say while guilt starts to form inside you. You haven't given them enough space, maybe you been pestering them too much.
To be honest, everyone was so on edge that you should have expected something like this happening, even from someone as chill as Cyan. Before you even considered finding a way to comfort them so you two could talk about it, Cyan was faster than you and had managed to trap you in their arms.
"- Hey, it's fine. Don't worry too much, I'm glad you're worried but I can reassure you, everything is okay."
It's an little awkward long hug, but you don't really mind, it's not as suffocating as Red's was. Oddly enough, Cyan wasn't being dishonest, but that fact only brought more confusion inside their mind.
"- Well… Goodnight Cyan, I'll see you tomorrow, kay?"
"- Yeah, sure…"
After some time spent looking at the ceiling waiting to see if everyone else had gone to sleep, Cyan had gotten out of their bed and started to unzip the space suit frantically.
Putting it on wasn't so hard, but getting out of it feels ten times worse now that they're sweating and tainted with the blood from the suit's previous owner. They don't need oxygen, but the feeling of suffocation inside that thing was starting to get over their heads. They needed something to cool down, anything!
So that's when the ventilation came into mind. The cold air coming from it was pleasant but not nearly enough for them, so they opened the top and got inside.
The cold air mixed with the cool metal touching their skin felt amazing compared to the heat and blood inside the suit. They need to remember to not only clean the suit, but to clean themselves very soon.
Without the helmet, their senses are so much better. They can hear and smell better, the vibrations passing through the ship helping them understand where they are and where they're going, as technically, they're kinda blind.
But who needs a great sight when they can easily smell and hear their prey from kilometers away? Speaking of which, the vents sure do help them a lot in that regard, as they can hear the soft breathing of all of your crewmates sleeping.
The smell of flesh is absolutely incredible! Just the thought makes their mouth water, maybe they deserve a little "midnight snack".
"- Eeny. meeny. miney. You!" They were deciding which one of your group should be the next, and the answer seemed pretty obvious, why not go to the nearest person?
It could lead to some issues with the other crewmates, but when they smelled your scent the need to enter your bedroom was way more important than considering the dangers of acting without thinking.
While entering your room as quietly as possible, they took a look around until they found your sleeping body almost falling from the bed. This is their chance!
Coming near you, savoring in your heavenly smell and dreaming what your taste is like, they-!... They stopped themselves from doing anything.
Your face is going to hit the floor if you continue to slowly slip from your bed.
You speak in your sleep sometimes. Not actual phrases, just occasional words. It's funny actually.
They poked your face multiple times out of curiosity. Were you awake or just dreaming? It seems like it's the latter.
You're still falling in slow motion. There is both the need to see what will happen next, and help you get back into bed.
They could just watch and see what happens. Besides, it is too dark for you to see them anyway.
Hmm… What should they do? Maybe they're wasting too much time by being here. They need to make a decision, it's to either kill you or to go back to their room.
After a couple of minutes of observing, another option has appeared, and they chose that one over the other options. They helped you get back into bed, hopefully you won't slip out again.
Maybe they should stay, just to guarantee you don't fall.
🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭
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haleigh-sloth · 3 years
Note
What don’t you like about Hawks? I’m not going to hate or anything I’m just curious on what your negative thoughts are of him?
Ugh...lol
Not at you but at the possibility of people coming for me because some Hawks fans tend to get wild sometimes...I definitely won't be tagging this in his tag.
Let me start off with saying that I don't actively dislike Hawks and I don't necessarily wish ill will toward his character or his endgame at all. It's more like the way I feel about him used to be sheer apathy--I just didn't care what happened with him because I was in no way attached to his character. But then my view of him started to get more and more negative as the story went on. But I'm holding out hope it will change.
I'll start with his first introduction. Well, after his introduction--when he is literally just up Endeavor's ASS. Like, I get it because E was his childhood "hero" and it makes sense for him to respect and like him as an adult. Especially because he didn't know the truth. That's fine. It makes sense. But for me, back when his character got introduced--for me to see him act that way toward E it was just an IMMEDIATE turn off. It was hard for me to look past that for a while. (Again, I wasn't very open to reading into his character because I was solely invested at the villains at this point) Then the story went on and he went to do this double agent thing, interesting and fun. But it became obvious that he was not going to be like...changing sides. He was always going to stay on the side of the heroes. So he didn't hold my interest.
And then he killed Twice. And the way that death was carried out was horrible. Twice was crying and running away and Hawks just...literally stabbed him in the fucking back. And then the Touya reveal happens and the truth about Endeavor is out. And what do we get? We get Hawks continuing to support Endeavor, not a single thought about the possibility that Touya needs to be saved and not put down. Chapter 303 I think was one of the most infuriating chapters to date in this manga. I was so not happy about Hawks and BJ interjecting with the Todofam stuff. There is no indication that either of them have Touya's best interest in mind. None. Having him just fully publicly back and support a child abuser is just...not good? And not only that, from chapter 299 these panels pissed me off so bad and I haven't gotten over it:
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"Endeavor's in trouble" Okay and???
"I know things are different now..." How does he know exactly? He doesn't know that Natsuo is still mourning Touya every fucking day, in emotional pain and feeling guilty for not forgiving his fucking dad right away (as if he has to), yet still stomaching being around his dad in order to make his sister happy. Shouto is tolerating his dad at best, and Fuyumi is stressing over trying to have a normal home life while everything around her goes up in flames (literally lol). And Rei just got out of a TEN YEAR hospital stay. Fam, things are not better. Hawks doesn't know shit, and this whole thing just really really pissed me off.
BUT
Getting his backstory DID put some perspective on this stuff. Hawks not wanting to let go of that one hopeful image of E from when he was a kid is understandable. It's realistic too. It just...makes me really really not want to root for his character. And finally we have the TOP 3 TEAMUP which is just a WHOLE fucking disaster. I hate it, I hate everything about it. There is quite frankly nothing redeemable about BJ as a character and I am VERY tired of seeing Endeavor's arc swallow Shouto's (I know it'll change back but FUCK dude how long is it gonna take). And my frustration from having to look at those two characters is probably rubbing off on poor Hawks 😂And lastly, Twice's death. Hawks has done nothing to acknowledge the damage he's caused. I mean, that little statement at the press conference? That is not enough, that is nothing. But that is also an issue in the current writing state of the story. We have seen NO fallout from Twice's death. We haven't seen the league since the war to see Shigaraki's reaction, and Hawks has paid no consequences whatsoever. However I do think it will change later and I think my frustration is more so with the current state of the story and the writing choices happening at this moment. I think once we see some actual consequence and effect from Twice's death my overall attitude on Hawks will change, but right now--any chapter that has Hawks, E, or BJ-or worse-ALL THREE, I am just immediately irritated and don't even want to read it. Seriously, for weeks and weeks having to see the spoilers start with "Hawks, BJ, and Endeavor are---" 🤬Which is why I've put the manga on hold for a couple of weeks, and possibly longer depending on how chapter 315 plays out, if there's not anything new going on.
So basically my opinion on Hawks is still just up in the air. It depends on how his endgame plays out. If Horikoshi redeems him (he will I've no doubt) and HOW will all affect my overall attitude toward Hawks’s character.
But REALLY and truly I mostly am just not necessarily interested in Hawks. I don't love him but I don't hate him by any means. And I do hope he gets a good endgame.
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mydriases · 4 years
Text
Silent cry
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Jamil Viper x Reader Warnings: Spoilers for episode 4, Hurt/Comfort Word Count: 3 600 Summary: In the aftermath, you wonder if his love for you was nothing more than another lie.
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Winter break was a bit too long for you. You loved holidays but being away from your love for so long weighed on you. You remembered how warm his lips were when he kissed you goodbye before you went through the mirror. You wished you could have went along with him in the Country of Hot Sands but your family wanted deservedly to have you home. It didn’t ease your longing for him though. The desire to be reunited with him increasing the more you thought about him and the last smile he had given you.
You had finished your homework in a short time, putting in practice every study tips Jamil had gave you. Passing the time while getting lost in the colorful world of Magicam, the notification that rang in your ears easily caught your attention to inform you that Azul Ashengrotto had started a live stream on his account. With nothing better to do and wanting to avoid continuing to drown yourself in the gloom of this endless day, you pressed the screen without thinking.
You were surprised when the face of your love appeared in your field of vision. As far as you knew, Azul and Jamil were only classmates, so to see the latter on Azul's account was odd to say the least. The focus of the camera became a little blurred, highlighting the scenery instead of  your beloved. You recognized the walls as those from the Scarabia Dorm. What were they doing there? Jamil didn't tell you anything about staying at Night Raven for the holidays. Had he received orders from his parents telling him to stay with Kalim in Scarabia?
The camera stabilized again and you were able to see Jamil more clearly. You expected to see his usually serene look, but what left you speechless was that Jamil’s expression showed a confusing wickedness. A sneer deformed his mouth while his arms made grand gestures as he spoke to someone in front of him. You found a look of resemblance with the face he did after winning against you at your favorite game. Nonetheless, you never had witnessed Jamil having on his face such a frightening contempt. Did they decided to organize a friendly competition in Scarabia’s dorm ? No, Jamil would have invited you if so, he always did.
The person who was filming zoomed out and you saw Azul, blank stare and dangling arms, direct opposite of Jamil's threatening aura. You immediately figured out the situation and prayed that you were mistaken. He wouldn't dare, would he? There was no more friendliness in the air, everything indicated a confrontation that took a turn for the worst. That was the only logical reason Jamil would have used his unique magic on someone, especially Azul with who he had a polite relation. But none of them had a hot temper so it didn’t make any sense in your eyes.
And then Jamil spoke.
What scared you, even more than the hatred that seemed to consume your beloved on every side were the words Jamil articulated without trembling. Revealing his desire to bring Kalim down from his position of dorm leader, he seemed drowned in joy as it was clear that his plan was working.
He had spoken without shame, his voice betraying that he believed in every word he said. You didn't understand, you didn't want to understand. In the hope of finding a logical explanation, your gaze slipped on the title of the live: "The dark side of a certain famous magic school". There was no information on the nature of the current events. So was it not a joke? Jamil was not the type to participate in this kind of thing. But maybe if Kalim had asked him he would have accepted ? But you were certain he used his unique magic and he had always been so secretive about it, there’s no way he would have used it in front of thousands of people. You didn’t know what to think anymore.
Jamil kept talking, spitting his venom on Kalim and on his position as vice dorm leader which he seemed to hate with all his heart. As hard as his words were, you couldn't help but feel your heart clench at the sight of the triumph that lit up his face. He had suffered so much that he felt liberated by the simple thought that Kalim would soon no longer be a part of his life. All this sick euphoria was the result of a pain you never knew anything about.
He used the word ‘free’, as if he'd been imprisoned in his role and his sentence was about to be served. He believed that the downfall of Kalim would be his ascension. Suffocating under the most negative emotions he saw only his own hatred, reason disappearing little by little.
Before you knew it, tears had begun to wet the corners of your eyes. Comments from other users were all expressing their shock at this student's behaviour. They were talking about how unacceptable his attitude was and that he was the one who should expelled from this school. Horrible. Everything you saw was horrible: Jamil's expression and words as well as the comments from people who didn't even know him, who didn't know anything about how he felt. Then, you wondered.
Did you know him as well as you wanted to believe?
One of Octavinelle's twins entered the camera field, accompanied by Kalim and Ramshackle Dorm's student. Jamil's face decomposed as he realized he had been tricked, in front of more than five thousand spectators.
You listened carefully to their conversation, their voices muffled by the rapid beat of your pulse. You saw Azul break out of his false hypnosis and Kalim ask, on the verge of a breakdown, if Jamil was really betraying him.
Jamil laughed. He laughed and it seemed to be liberating for him. He had lost, but there was no more pretending anymore. His laughter became a cry of hatred towards Kalim and, as it was apparently still possible, his face sank deeper into this malevolent expression as he conjured up his unique magic: Snake Whisper.
His unique magic was a secret for everyone in school, except for you and Kalim. When you took your relationship to the next level, he had accepted to entrust you with the real nature of his magic. Because you were equals, because you loved each other. And now, while witnessing his actions, you wondered what was left of this mutual trust.
A flash flooded your screen and you heard a voice uttering the beginning of the word "overblot". Then the broadcast was over and you were left shaken in the solitude of your bedroom.
Your brain filled with thoughts, each one more heartbreaking than the last. Your boyfriend was a manipulator (was he ? or it’s because you didn’t manage to see through him ?), he has just overblotted (thanks to someone who failed to alleviate his suffering) and was going to hurt loads of people (and to think that you could have avoided all of this). Did you fall in love with this person? Did you have any responsibility for his actions? (yes and yes).
Your conscience was being torn apart. Split between guilt and fear and incomprehension. You needed to do something, anything. You needed to go there so as to reason with him, so as to get explanations. Time suddenly seemed to accelerate as you hurried to put on your shoes and get your coat on.
You left a note on the kitchen table, summarizing the situation in a handwriting that betrayed a nervous tremor of the hand. You came out of your house -gasping for breath before you even started to run- and headed towards the nearest public transport.
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Everything was long over by the time you got here.
You’ve asked everyone you encountered, pleading for someone who knew where Jamil was. The student from the Rhamshackle Dorm was your savior. Explaining along with their weird cat what happened in details and telling you that he was now resting in his room. You thanked the two of them and started to run to where you knew he was.
You stopped to hurry halfway through.
Loads of the damage he’s made was because of the fact he overblotted but that didn’t explain his disturbing scheme. If during all this time he had only been forging a perfect image of himself, hiding all his bad attentions, what was left of the sincerity you had sworn to each other? Jamil has just been unsmasked but you don’t change in the twinkling of an eye. It took time for Jamil to put up with his plan and it will take time to make a fresh start. Was everything before that a lie?
As far as you can remember, your relationship with Jamil was one-sided in therm of confidence. You told him your insecurities, your traumas and most of your philosophy on life. He told you loved you. Being evasive at the slightest question because when I’m with you I don’t want to think about bad things, you make me happy and I want this relationship to be about the love between you and me. Not my problems. I can be your confident of course, but don’t expect to me to share everything. It’s just how I am, it doesn’t mean I don’t love you, because I really do.
That was the first time he confessed to you. You didn’t answer, because you were too busy embracing him and nuzzling the crook of his neck. It was also because you were feeling a bit disappointed. You didn’t want to be clingy if that’s not what he wanted, it was fine, really. But it made you feel like you were not as close to him as you wished. His arguments were justified : when you’re with your loved ones it’s normal to want to have fun and not think about all the depressing stuff that happened in your life. But now that Jamil has overblotted nothing is the same.
You sincerely wanted to believe him, to leave behind his bad deeds and start all over again. But a part of you pointed its finger at him while murmuring in you ear that he was a liar, a hypocrite that used you to appear less suspicious. Kalim choose to forgive him, obviously, despite all the suffering he endured. He has always been very lenient after all. You still haven’t seen him, nevertheless the chances are high that he would tell you that Jamil has always been at his side. Helping him through the hardest times, having been raised with him. That’s wasn’t your case.
If you wanted to leave him you’re sure he would understand. You could find another person to love and build a relationship not based on lies. But first and foremost, Jamil deserved the right to explain himself.
In front of his bedroom, as feeble as the first time you knocked on his door, except that this time it was because your relationship with Jamil was about to take a turn, not because you were excited to see him ; you waited for an answer that never came. You couldn’t be patient anymore. You pushed one of the handles and were surprised to discover that the door latch was unlocked.
Jamil was sitting on his bed, his gaze not lingering on you as he fastly looked away. It destroyed you. You thought you were ready to face him. To accept that he despised you, rejected you or begged you to forgive him, but not that he ignored you. Your voice came out hoarse, as wounded as you were :
" I came as soon as I could "
You wanted to cry at his feet and plead him to forgive you for not understanding him, you wanted him to cry for hurting you and Kalim, you wanted to leave him, you wanted him to tell you he loved you.
With his head down, one hand firmly clutching the sheet underneath him, he gave no answer. For the time being you were still lovers, but within the four walls of this room you were strangers. Because of him, perhaps because of you. You took a breath and knew what to say.
" I’m sorry "
For not being there when you needed me, for letting myself get attached to an illusion, for what you’re about to say, for everything that will be left untold.
" For what ? You did nothing wrong. "
He sighed and let himself fall backwards on the bed. He gazed at the ceiling, eyelids fluttering soflty as his hand was still grabbing the sheet under him. You walked towards him, he looked up to you and you found mixed emotions in his eyes. He seemed glad you were here but also like he would prefer for you to be anywhere else. You sat on the bed in a way that Jamil could not see your face, you didn’t need your voice to become tearful and trembling. The silence invaded the room as you were pondering over what to say. You tightened and loosened your grip on your coat, which you had been forced to remove due to the heat, and decided to cut to the chase.
" Jamil, I know I’ve never told you before but I love you. "
In spite of everything that happened, it was true. You knew that your endearment for him really had evolved in something stronger a long time ago. It's a shame it's only now that you're telling him.
You had to question him about his actions, make him spill whether or not he used you. But you didn't have the strength. Your spirits had never been so low, your self-confidence so damaged. Every answer to your questions would turn out to be a knife stuck a little deeper into your wounds and you couldn't take it. He knew either way, didn't he? He was observant, you were an open book to him so there was no need to ask questions he already knew.
You remember when you kissed for the first time and that the two of you became a couple. Everything was so easy, so simple. Never you would have thought that one day things would change, that you would want to run away from him. In the span of a few minutes, your whole life had changed. Anyone could be a traitor, from the most reserved friend to the one that couldn’t stop talking. Somewhere among these people was a liar. You had hoped it would not be Jamil, that it was just a misunderstanding and a bad joke from Octavinelle’s trio, but the facts were there.
You heard the rustle of the sheets, hitting that Jamil sat up again, and felt the warm contact of skin against your shoulder. Hesitantly, you turned your head towards him and he clutch to you a bit more as a sign of encouragement. His gaze was now overwhelmed by sorrow, mirroring your own expression. He sighed once again and reached into his pocket in order to pull out a bracelet decorated with a small red stone, similar to the one that adorned the ribbon in his hair.
" Here " he said, his voice trailing off as he was finishing his sentence " I wanted to give this to you to celebrate my rise as Dorm Leader but it won’t happen. I don't think I could give you things like this again after our talk, so take it. "
He handed you the bracelet, his fingertips brushing against the palm of your hand while doing so, you started observing the red gem so as to benefit from a pause in the conversation. He seemed sincere which illuminated a beacon of hope in you : Jamil meant to give you this after his accomplishment which signified that you were not a mere piece in his plan. That was one less thing to worry about, remained his disturbing attitude.
You played with piece of jewelry, observing the delicacy of the gemstone and the golden color of the bracelet. Giving you such an expensive item as a present was symbolic, surely it wasn’t just a piece of the richness of the Asim family. Jamil would have prefered to offer you something more personal, not showy but simple. He was like that.
Your heart sank.
" I’m sorry, because I didn’t see how you felt and also, maybe, because I feel uspset to habe been deceive by the person I trusted the most. I’m sorry for myself. "
Out of the corner of your eye, you caught sight of Jamil straightening his posture.
" In a way, you’re both similar and different to Kalim " confied Jamil, " How could have you changed anything when I was the one keeping everything to myself ? " He crossed his arms, one of his thumbs circling on his skin. " That’s why I’m the who needs to apologize. Not because I regret my actions, but because I’ve abused your trust. If I had told you, there are chances that you would have tried to stop me. Now that I overblotted I guess that it wouldn’t have been a bad thing. " His hand almost went to hold yours, but he suddenly changed his mind. " Forgive me. You were the one person I didn't want to hurt no matter what. "
Although it was what you came for, his apology didn't lighten the load on your heart. You wipped away a tear you didn’t feel coming, silently hoping that Jamil saw nothing.
The light of the room was getting dimmer as the sun began to disappear into the horizon. In the silence and darkness of the place, the gravity of the situation was crushing you. Here we are, the time to choose to forgive or not. You would be a liar if you said that you didn’t still want to be with him. To hug him and run your hand through his hair like before, to work beside him -paying more attention to him than to your homework- to talk to him about whatever interests you at the moment. But it would also be a lie to say something hadn't been broken in you. If he’s lied to you once, there was no proof he wouldn’t do it twice.
" I wished there was a way I could make it up to you " Jamil mumbled and you authorized yourself to turn to him. His eyes were glistening lightly, half hidden under his locks. That was a odd thing to see him moved, as well as a huge step forward.
" It will take long before I can trust you again, Jamil " you sobbed unable to restrain yourself any longer. The back of Jamil’s hand came to wipe away the tears that escaped you. Your gazes met. His expression was worried, his movements were uncertain and his voice wavered when he whispered your name.
" Do you want anything ? Maybe a handkerchief? "
The tears multiplied, but it didn't matter when the man in front of you wore the same expression.
" Hug me. "
More of an order than a request, but Jamil complied without hesitation. His arms wrapped around your form, you leaned into his touch and the two of you sank into the bed. One of his hand caressed you head as you nuzzled his neck, still sobbing, maybe a bit less loudly. From the start, his warmth was what you were looking for, finding his embrace again and spending your time by his side. Little did you know that the moment of your reunion was going to have the bitter aftertaste of tears.
" Can I stay with you for the night ? "
" Yes, you can. Of course. " he whispered, "Does your family know you’re here ?"
" I left a note, they’ll understand. "
There was still several thing you needed to discuss but for now you let yourself fall asleep in the soothing embrace of your love. You had been deceived and hurt, Jamil had been belittled and probably just as hurt. Maybe it was necessary to pass through all of this in order to better your relationship. Regardless, that was all in the past now. You weren’t sure wether or not you forgave him, the scars being still opened and far from being healed, but you were ready to try again. And hopefully, your couple wasn’t going to be as one-sided as before.
Underneath you, Jamil reflected on the consequences of his actions. In spite of all his bad deeds, Kalim, you and so many others have decided to forgive him. He felt good, he felt awful. Mainly he felt grateful for all the kindness he received and that he didn't deserve. Things will be different from now on, he’ll be Kalim’s servant no more, at least not as much as before. All his plans had been revealed, there was nothing left to hide.
He synchronized his breathing with yours and realized you had fallen asleep. There was still a long way to go before the damage he's done can be repaired but he’ll try. Because you, and even Kalim, deserved to be happy. His arm wrapped a bit more around you as he waited for sleep to take him.
It was strange but the darkness of his room didn’t feel lonely anymore.
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Hey, it’s been a while. I’m still a silent lurker who doesn’t want to bother at heart that’s why I don’t post updates, hope you didn’t forget about me. I’m still working on requests but I struggle a bit to convey what I want sometimes and end up deleting what I’ve done because I don’t think it’s good enough :’) I hope all of you are safe, my inbox is open to anon again if you want to talk.
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thr-333 · 4 years
Note
Could you possibly do one where Mari/Mari and marine is/are the daughter/son of the joker?
I actually planned quite a lot for this after you asked but could never get my thoughts to make something comprehensive so I give up here's what I got!:
-Twins are Joker and Harleys kids born before the two split up(and so help me they will split up this story needs gay aunt Ivy)
-As you might know, these two clowns have another kid; Lucy. Harley left Lucy with her sister when she was born. In canon, she thinks Harley is her aunt but I would say in this fic she learned the truth when the twins were also dropped off.
-So the twins grew up in Gotham with their aunt and big sister knowing full well who their parents are; as such they make the responsible choice to suppress every part of themselves that resembles them and constantly dye their hair in an effort to avoid looking like them. You know healthy coping mechanisms. -
-Naturally, Marinette has brown hair with blue eyes and Marion blonde with brown eyes.
-Their personalities are a bit different from Mismatch. 
-Marion is still a trickster and a trouble maker but this time around has Marinette fully involved and responsible for his shenanigans. He has a bit of a habit of talking to himself(or singing random phrases), sometimes in the third person; he hates when he does, so Marinette always tells him off. He’s always gets the impulse of dying his hair outlandish colors and will vehemently deny his favorite color is green.
- Marinette is crafty, both figuratively and literally. She’s smart, her mother is a doctor after all she can be manipulative to people that arent her(close) family to protect the ones she cares about. She has a deep-seated fear of becoming a trophy, an object to be put on display like her mother and so dresses the opposite and pushes away her love for fashion.
-They will always call each other Mari but if someone else tries they both answer its a nickname they strictly use for each other.
-In a world where Gotham exists it makes absolutely no sense that Gabriel wouldn't start his reign as Hawkmoth in Gotham(the place with the most negative emotions like geez) so that works out perfectly for the twins becoming heroes(Adrien can move to Gotham or be left in Paris to be kept safe your choice)
-Instead of the twins proving themselves by helping an old man up off the street they go a step further is beating up the thugs that try to rob him(all Fu’s set up of course). When they come home to find two mysterious boxes on their beds they make the only rational conclusion children of the joker would; it’s a bomb!
-Not wanting to get the police involved for obvious reasons they find the security footage(which gets the police involved in a different way) and start tracking down fu to see why he’s trying to kill him.
-And as you may recall at this point in canon Ladybug and Chat Noir are defeating an Akuma, well they're not here they’re off to beat up an old man so thats Batman’s job for the time being.
-The twins get caught up in the fight as civilians and are saved by Batman who immediately recognizes them(you don't think Batman has case files on all of Jokers hellspawn?) so that’s gonna be a problem later but never mind that for now~
-The twins track down Fu, who is wondering why they aren’t out fighting the Akuma. Long story short Fu comes back to the house with them and proves they aren't bombs giving them the miraculous.
-I’m a bit indecisive on the names. I thought Marinette would be Red Bug and Marion Black Cat(yes I know that names already taken I don’t care). But I thought Crimson Bug would work better because then their names would start with the same letters. Then I wanted alliteration like Black Bug and Crimson Cat but that obviously doesn't make any sense since Chats color is green not red-- then I realized it would be completely in character for them to call themselves that confusing everyone in the process so no one quite sure whos name is who(if you wanna write it go with whatever I just thought it could be funny)
-As for costumes Marinette's probably wouldn't be skin tight because deep down she really doesn't want to look like that but more practical armor or less form-fitting at least. Marion's hair turns green when he transforms something he freaks out about and Marinette's turns red(glowing or not either would look cool)
-So anyway they go off to defeat the akuma blah blah blah Batman seeing these two young untrained superheroes can only think of one thing: I have to adopt them. So that’s gonna be fun!
-Anyway they go back home trying to be sneaky and immediately get caught by Lucy: ”Don’t tell Aunty!”-- ”Oh I already know” (her names Delia by the way)
- So now the twins get a support system and a family that will look out for them unbelievable right? This support system immediately threatens Fu making sure he actually trains them and doesn't just set them loose on Gotham.
Anyway that's the end of my semi-cohesive plan and here's a vague outline for the fic:
1. Becoming ladybug and chat noir setting up adoption, and school(Bruce invites them to Gotham academy to keep an eye on the jokers children)
2. First day at school setting up Artemis(and by extension young justice), and own passions, Adrien is also at this school now so Marinette falls, Jason finds out falling in love with Marion
3. Becoming friends with Artemis, convinces them to give their passions a try, Marion runs from hood, some let me adopt you stuff also Jason's spite for Cat Noir
4. Skip a bit of time a few months or so, young justice need help Artemis suggest mari and mari, Marinette has a smackdown with batman about their heritage, at odds with young justice Artemis comes to their defense. Young Justice have an ‘oh’ realization on the job when Marion sings a lullaby to a scared child, now the young justice form the mari and mari protection squad
5. Doing ladybug and cat stuff batman approaches them again this time luring them into adoption with a partnership on finding hawkmoth, Red Hood and cat fight. Marion comes back all huffy and there's a scene with Lucy this time comforting them, Marion goes out to get air runs into hood marion bristles stirring Jason to meet him as a civilian, class come to visit, at odds with lila
6. Doing well at school even made a few friends when the Paris class come to visit completely under lila’s control, lila tries to slander the twins for not worshiping her only to out herself when she tells everyone they laughed at her(the twins never laugh), Jason also drops by further discrediting her, lila tries to throw their heritage in their face but they get support openly working with heroes as civilians, this little section ends quite happily with them being sort of accepted at school and batman tolerating their existence for not attacking the person who tried to make their life miserable
7. Time skip few years out of high school now, ladybug and cat are working well with gothams vigilantes widely considered part of the batfam even if no one knows each other's identities. As mari and mari they are doing good work mainly outside of gotham. Marinette is starting a fashion boutique with a little financial help from Wayne enterprises she also does costume design for heroes and villains, villains mainly because she can't stand their current outfits. Marion quite likes his music but isn't sure how he will feel in the public eye is great friends with Jason and the skip picks up with them officially starting to go out identities unknown. They are still hesitant about their identities in civilian life Marinette starting her business under a false name and Marion cant start his because of his heritage. Jason officially has to admit they are going out to the family is met with grilling by aunt and sister, joy by harley once she tries giving them sex advice they leave, his brothers tease and both are tense about Bruces reaction but he begrudgingly accepts. Are out as ladybug and Cat still snippy with hood but it’s not as bad they are closing in on hawkmoth. Go to hang out with young justice as well they aren't well-liked in Gotham but they’re fine with that(not really)
8. NOW things can go to shit joker finally has enough of them deciding to get a hold of them but I think it should be as ladybug and chat revealing their identities to the world. The twins are terrified rightfully so. Get saved now it’s weird between hood and marion, marion feeling betrayed Jason knew who he was and knew who his father was but still decided to date him and he just can't understand why. Adrien was so scared for Marinette and now they both have to work out why. Gotham is at odds the heroes they admire are born from a villain they fear. Bats are a bit weird feeling like they were tricked while also kind of acknowledging the twins are good people
9. Harassed in their everyday life now the twins go to young justice where they get met with awe for being established independent heros, bats there are acting weird but the twins say something to shift perspective leaving to let them mull on it. Jason tries to apologise saying he doesn't see Marion like that blah blah Marion has a breakdown asking how he can be anything but a villain. Marinette's having whiplash going from loved to hated and still dealing with the trauma of seeing her father. They snap. In public a big ol scene and they get akumatised everyone sees it, it’s on tv. Hawkmoth comes out to get their miraculous the batfam can’t beat him. He’s monolouging probing at their deepest fears when they snap back to reality realizing none of it’s true every part of them has worked to be good people and they are they don't hand over their miraculous beating the akumatizaton and beating hawkmoth while akumatised.
10. They are released from the hospital a few days later, getting hesitant recognition on the streets. It's not thunderous applause but it is something. Their family comes to pick them up, Adrien is crying to Marinette about not scaring him like that(her family took him in when Gabriel was revealed). Marion gets picked up by Jason they patch things over. They get accepted into the batfam and work as ladybug and cat for everything. Marion decides to start playing music and Marinette reveals her face to her fashion brand.
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sacred-algae · 4 years
Text
Nights Like These
It's no secret that Todd is bad at feelings. Bad at expressing them, bad at handling them. Really bad at handling them. Because Dirk has a boyfriend. A boyfriend who isn't Todd. And it tears him apart. All he ever feels any more is hopelessness. And tonight was no different. Until it was. It was about to be VERY different.
Rating: Teen
Word Count: 2,851
       It was nights like these where Todd didn’t like to think. He wished he was incapable of thinking. Screw that, he wished he didn’t love him. 
       He’d never been in love before and oh how he wishes he wasn’t right now. 
       Because this sucked. It hurt like hell. 
       Having to see him every day. See his beautiful smile and perfect eyes and know that he didn’t love him back.
       Being in love with Dirk was one thing a month ago. 
       He always knew he liked him, well, not always, but when he realized he was in love with him… That was another story. 
       He felt like he was walking on air when he realized it. He realized how lucky he was to have him in his life and how happy he made him.
       He even started flirting with him, to no avail but he still did.
       And it felt right. One day he would get the courage to ask him out. 
        But before that day came… the worst day of his life came. 
       He got a boyfriend.
       A boyfriend that wasn’t Todd.
       And ever since then it’s been “Brett this, Brett that,” and he wanted to punch that bastard right in the nose!
       … But he made Dirk happy. And so Todd was happy if he was happy.
       Scratch that. Todd was very unhappy. 
       He wanted to die every time Brett kissed Dirk, he wanted to cry every time he saw them holding hands, he wanted to punch the wall when he heard the exchange of pet-names, he wanted to scream every time smiled at his phone after getting a text from him.
       He was miserable. He had gone from being depressed before Dirk to being the happiest in his life to being happier to being even more depressed and it was horrible.
        So yes, he thought about this every night. What made this night worse than the other nights, what made this night “nights like these”?
       It was date night. 
       The night of the week where he wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. 
       So he did. 
       And he sobbed.
        And to make matters worse, his episodes have always been more emotionally fueled so “date night” was always a reliable alarm clock for his body to betray him. 
       And to make matters even worse, it was their one month anniversary, and Dirk was all excited about their big date.
       So he had to buckle up for a long, sleepless, painful, night.
        And his first attack of the night was over.
       He sat on the bathroom floor, huddled in the corner between the sink cabinet and the wall, shaking violently as his post-attack nerves calmed down. Breathing heavily as tears streamed down his hot face, head whirring.
       And it was only 10:00.
        It was only 10:00 when he heard a knock on his door. 
        Stumbling, he stood up and wiped his eyes on his flannel sleeve as he approached the door.
       And he was ready to kill a bitch when he saw who was on the other side of the door, sobbing.
       “Oh my god, Dirk what happened? Are you ok?” 
       He flung himself into Todd’s arms. “He pulled a Warner, Todd,” he choked between tears.
       “He pulled a what?” Todd stood flabbergasted, not quite sure on whether or not he should return the hug, but then he did, Dirk needed him.
       “Like that musical, Pink Lawyer.”
       “Oh, you mean Legally Blonde? And that was a movie before it was a musical.”
       “But I like the musical better. I like the song 'Gay or European', it's like a song about me.”
       “Whatever you say, Dirk. What happened, what do you mean he pulled a Warner?” And then it hit him, “Oh my god, he didn’t!”
       “Mmhmm,” Dirk gave a sad, affirmative hum and nodded into Todd’s shoulder.
       “On your anniversary?! THAT DICK!”
       Dirk laughed slightly.
       “What-” Todd wasn’t good at this, in fact, he was very bad at this. “What do you need?”
       Dirk pulled back and looked at Todd confused. His eyes red, swollen, and glossy. He hated seeing him like this. He wanted to hold him until the end of time and make sure he was never upset again. The things he was going to say to Brett- but he needed to focus on Dirk right now.
       “I mean, you came to me for a reason, right? What do you need?”
       He stood silent for a moment, not really understanding the question. In all honesty, his brain couldn’t process much at the moment. “Right, why I’m here, um, yes! I-” he sighed, “I don’t know. Universe said I should come here.”
       Damn you universe,  Todd thought. 
       “Ok.” His mind shuffled around the possible answers to this. In the past he would have made some flirty joke like, “oh, the universe wanted you to be here, huh?” or something or other but he wasn’t past Todd. He was present Todd and he would be there for Dirk. And he doubted the universe actually wanted that to be honest. He would always just be friends with Dirk. Hopelessly and endlessly. “Come in then, want to talk?”
       “Maybe,” he sniffed as he walked in. “I don’t know. I just want to be here.” He paused for a moment. “Do you have any tea?”
       Todd smiled, “Always.” He walked over to the kitchenette and dug through the pantries as Dirk sat down. “What type?”
       Dirk beamed, “You have more than one type? You don’t even like tea.”
       Todd had started keeping tea around in case of situations like these. Not break-ups specifically, he hadn’t planned for those, but any situation where Dirk needed some comfort. And he didn’t know what Dirk preferred so he just bought a lot of different types.
       “Yeah, what type?”
       “I don’t know. Do you have lemon? Sour tea to fit my sour mood.” He sunk into the sofa. 
       “Don’t be like that, Dirk.” He heated up a mug of water in the microwave, receiving a wince from Dirk but he was just happy Todd was trying. “I’m assuming you want milk and sugar in it?”
       “Yes, please.” Todd chuckled. 
       He put the teabag in the mug and grabbed the milk carton, a spoon, and the sugar and clumsily carried it all back to the couch. 
       “Thank you, Todd.” He smiled through his pooling grey-blue eyes.
       They sat like that for a while. Staring at the wall. A million thoughts flooding through their heads.
       The main one in Todd’s head? He was going to fucking kill Brett. He should have fucking known, with a name like Brett. And his stupid books, and his stupid sweater vests, and his stupid perfect hair, and his stupid collection of snobby tea. Now that he thinks about it he was really perfect for Dirk, Dirk didn’t want some punk-reject. He wanted an elegant refined man, not a scrumpy hobbit asshole of a man. NO! Brett was a dick. An absolute dick and he hurt Dirk. No one hurts Dirk on Todd’s watch. Not unless they want to get killed. 
       It wasn’t like he couldn’t do it. He could blame it on a holistic situation next case. Yes, brilliant. He would find some way to drag him into it push him into the danger. It was perfect, foolproof, and oh my fucking god was he really plotting a murder right now? He needed to focus on Dirk. Who had just started crying again, oh god he was bad at this. 
       Todd looked over to him. He sat rigidly. The warm mug in his hands, somewhat of a grounding stim, his head tucked into his chest as his tears fell. 
       He cleared his throat and nervously spoke up. “Need to talk about it? Sometimes venting helps.”
       Dirk bit his lip and wordlessly nodded before turning to Todd.
       “It was a stupid reason, really,” he sniffled.
       “Any reason to break up with someone as amazing as you is stupid in my books.” Dirk smiled. Smiling was good.
       “No. There are plenty of good reasons. I’m annoying, I talk too much, I’m dangerous, I’m an idiotic fool-”
       “Stop with all the negative talk,” Todd said sternly.
       “But it really was a stupidly stupid reason. I… I was telling him the story of our cases-”
       “Ooo which one?”
       “The Coconut Caper.” He set the mug down on the coffee table with the rest of the stuff Todd had brought out.
       “That was a fun one,” They laughed for a moment reminiscing on it. The Coconut Caper was one of their more… well… heated cases. There was a lot of tension there on both their parts, but both of them only recognized his own feelings and was completely oblivious as to the other’s.
       “So I was telling him the story and out of nowhere, he got mad! He said… he said he was tired of hearing about you.”
       What?
       “That it’s always ‘Todd, this and Todd, that’ and he was sick of it. And- and,” he stuttered to get the words out. “And said he was sick of it, and that it was all I ever talked about and- and,” He fell into Todd’s shoulder, covering his face with his hands. Regretting what he was about to say before he even said it, but Todd asked so he would say it. He would play it off as if it wasn’t true. “He said he thought I was in love with you… and then he dumped me!”
       A question burned into the back of Todd’s mind. A question he knew he shouldn’t ask for fear of losing everything, and pushing Dirk farther than he needed tonight... But the question remained, it refused to leave. It wasn’t going to go away unless he asked. 
       So Todd made the rash decision to ask said question, a decision he knew as the sentence formed out of his mouth he would later regret as he already knew the answer but something told him he didn’t know the full truth. He needed the full truth. He needed all of it. 
       And so he asked the question.
       “Dirk, do you love me?” His voice shook like the after-shock in a house seated across the street from a quarry. His face burning hot, his own eyes filling with salty betrayal. 
       “Uh-buh-buh-buh,” He sat up abruptly, straightening himself out, his mouth flapped like a fish. “What an odd question, Todd.” Dirk sat back up with a very bad look of hiding the truth. Todd almost let the corners of his mouth upturn. He thought he knew the answer, and he thought it might be the one he wanted after all of this time. 
       “Dirk, answer the question.” His voice slowly losing its tough persona.
       “You see, it’s a very complex answer, that question, Todd.”
       “Answer the goddamn question!”
       “Ok fine. You want the truth? Here’s the truth! I’m in love with you... I always have been but I know you don’t love me and so that’s why I started dating Brett.” 
       “Dirk-” His voice even softer now, a pang in his chest, heartbreaking at the thought of Dirk not knowing and feeling the way he did, knowing Dirk felt all of the pain Todd did.
       “LET ME FINISH. I thought if I dated someone else I would forget about you and stop loving you but the truth is I can’t.” He started crying, again. “I can’t forget you. I can’t, Todd. I’m sorry-”
       “Dirk-” More insistent.
       “SHUT UP FOR ONE BLOODY FUCKING MINUTE AND LET ME FUCKING GET THIS OVER WITH BECAUSE THIS IS FUCKING HARD!” Woah. He shouted at the top of his lungs before returning to normal, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Half apologizing for freaking out and half apologizing for his feelings. “I am. I can’t help it, I can’t help that I love you but I do.”
       He sped up almost incoherently, vomiting out words, not caring if he was repeating himself or saying things that didn’t make sense. Let him choose his words and tone for this ok? Like he said, this was hard. “Just promise me, promise me you won’t leave because I don’t think I could take it because honestly you saved my life in so many ways not only physical and I couldn’t bear if you left so promise me you won't leave and I don’t care if you aren’t my best friend anymore just don’t drop off the face of the earth and promise me-”
       “Dirk-”
       “SHUT UP, TODD.”
       “I LOVE YOU!”
        Dirk jolted back, not quite sure if he heard Todd right. If his mind was playing tricks on him, if Todd was playing tricks on him.
       “Oh, now you’re just being cruel.” His voice accusatory.
       “No, I do!” His voice defensive.
       “You’re just saying that to shut me up. Because I’m annoying and stupid and-”
       “What did I say about saying that about yourself?” 
       “Not to.” He pouted, “But you don’t. I think I would have figured that out by now.”
       “I didn’t figure it out”
       “Yes, but you’re just saying that. How do I know you love me?”
       Todd smiled. The first time he smiled that night. 
        “Because I do. Because you changed me. You made me a better person. And my life was boring before I knew you. And it sucked. And I know that doesn’t mean much but this does. And I wish you could see yourself like I do. The amazing, kind, wonderfully-crazy, funny and, not going to lie, sexy man you are.” Dirk chuckled and hid his face. “I want you to know that you make my life better. You give me a meaning and purpose I didn’t have before. You make me happy, Dirk. You make me so happy. And I hope that’s enough for you to know that I do love you and I’m not just ‘saying it’.”
        “I’m sorry, Todd.” He looked up, holding back more tears. This was a night very much filled with tears.
       Todd shook his head confused, “For what?”
       “For yelling, and assuming you were lying.”
       “Nah, I get it. I’m an asshole. I wouldn’t believe me either.”
       “Ok, if I’m not allowed to say I’m stupid and annoying you  definitely  aren’t allowed to call yourself an asshole. We both know how I feel about you calling yourself that.”
       “Ok, how about dickhead?” He laughed and Dirk playfully shoved him. 
       “That might be worse.”
       All of the anxiety was slowly wearing off, and it left them in a quiet moment. 
       A very quiet moment.
       Too quiet.
       They stared at each other, smiling. Heat rising to their faces, ok maybe they were just too angry and sad to notice it earlier but they were both made suddenly aware of their red faces. 
       “God, this is awkward,” Dirk mumbled as he twiddled with his thumbs. 
       “Yep,” Todd replied.
       Silent again. 
       How did they manage that?
       And then Dirk realized something. 
       Something big.
       His eyes widened and Todd immediately recognized the expression. Dirk had figured something out. Something holistic.
       And before Todd had any time to respond. Any time to process…
        Dirk’s mouth was on his.
        He leapt forward, not thinking, much like he did with everything in his life. He never thought. Ever. It was quite relaxing actually. 
       Unaware of his brute force, that combined with Todd’s shock had sent them spiraling backwards into the couch. Todd’s eyes wide.
       And all he could think, well, no, he couldn’t think. All he could  feel  was, “Oh my god this is actually happening! Is this happening? It better be fucking happening, and holy shit his lips are soft- ” Soft despite the fact that the kiss was awkwardly aggressive and very quick. It all happened in about a second. One second before Dirk realized what he had done.
       He pulled back extremely suddenly, but still hovering over Todd as the couch swallowed him whole, cheeks fire-engine red, spilling out his words in a perfectly Dirk-y way. 
       “Oh-my-god-I’m-so-sorry-I-didn't-ask-first-and-I-didn't-think-and-I-just-did-and-did-I-just-mess-up-did-I-misjudge-the-situation-I’m-so-stupid-and-oh-no-am-I-squishing-you?!”
       And Todd just smiled and grabbed the sides of his jacket, pulling his face back down to his, and he kissed him. This time properly. 
       And Dirk melted at the touch. This was nothing like kissing Brett, this felt right, safe, home. Like the entire universe had been preparing for this moment. 
       It started soft and slow, meant to show Dirk how much he meant everything he said, how much he loved him. And then he started to realize that it was finally happening, and he hungered for more, and Dirk obliged, sending their kiss deeper and deeper. Fully enveloping themselves in each other, in this perfect kiss, this perfect moment. This moment where everything was as it was supposed to be for once. 
       All they could think of was each other and how for the love of God had they not done this sooner.
       Breathless, Todd pulled back and moved his arms around Dirk’s neck, and looked fondly into his eyes.
       “I-I think… I think I know why the universe wanted me to come here.” Dirk breathed with a wide smile brandishing his swollen, pink lips.
       Todd laughed, “You think?”
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greenstudies · 6 years
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Glow up tips/ideas
Here’s my little guide how to glow up in your life:
First, get your life together:
Organise and clean your home -Having clean home will make you feel better and lighter and therefore you will be more positive.
Have a life admin day -Write down all the stuff that needs to be done, all the appointments you need to get and everything that needs to be fixed. Then schedule in a day every month or every two weeks when you tick off these thing off your list.
Do your damn laundry
Create routines -They can be long and strict or short and very opened
Fight procrastination in all the ways you can
Take your mediaction and have regular health check ups
Now it’s time for mental health:
Make sure you eat and drink water regularly
Get a therapist if you feel like you need/want one
Practise your hobbies or find new ones
Listen to your favourite music
Meditate
Create a happy atmosphere for yourself -Buy plants and flowers, let your favourite music play in the background, let in as much ligh as you can.
Warm beverages
Be as positive as you can
Try to complain less
Don’t talk shit about people, especially not behind their back -You spread negative energy and hurt yourself in the process.
Say nice things to people, compliment them as much as you can -Being nice to poeple will affect your own mood for the better.
Talk about what you love, not what you hate
Get enough fresh air.
Glow up your mind!:
Read more books -Does not matter the genre
Watch movies and series
Learn new language -Even if it’s just a few words
Watch documents
Talk to people smarter than you
Try learning random fact every day
Find a new hobby
Think of ways to make your life better and help your surrounding -Minimalism? Zero waste? Vegetarian? It depends on you.
Find a new friend
Help people
And lastly the physical glow up:
Find out how much sleep you need and stick to it -Usually 8 hours are the norm
Play around with make up -You will fail and it might look wonky from the beginning. And maybe you won’t even like it. I want you to experiment.
Make sure to go make-up-less sometimes if you wear it often
Drink water -It won’t magically clear your skin completely but it will get better.
Wash your face in the morning and in the evening, but no soap if possible
Use as little skin products as you can -Sometimes less is more.
Lip balm
Eat vegetables every day -Every. single. day. It’s the best thing I have ever done for myself.
Eat oatmeal -It did wonders for my hair.
Stretch regularly
Exercise -Find something you have fun doing and do it as often as possible.
Avoid food with too much grease and sugar -You can have it but try to reduce it.
Prepare your outfit the night before -It gives you time to think about what you’ll wear and it’s nice to have it ready in the morning.
Get clothes you feel good and confident in
Get your dream hair colour! -Get crazy if you want
Learn to be comfortable with your body
Don’t shower every day -I know, I know... but listen... It’s actually much healthier for your skin to shower every other day and wash your hair even less. Plus it saves a lot of water.
Get a perfume -Have a scent
Get enough sun -You don’t have to be tan but getting sun on your skin is very healthy and it’s visible in other ways than tan.
Smile and spread joy
If you’re happy, show it -It’s contagious
Remember that beauty comes from within. That is why I put these tips in that order.
I hope I helped and have a great year!
EDIT: After over a year I added a few notes after seeing the way people reacted and felt about this. Everyone chose to ignore those notes in the reblog, therefore I’m adding them to the original post: 
This post has been going around for a bit again and I wanted to address some things about it:
Some people labeled it as ableist and I want to fix that. Back when I posted this, I got defensive and it was the wrong thing to do. The problem is that I still can’t see the exact points and things that are ableist. If you can see them, please point them out to me, so I can fix them and alter them to include everybody
The idea of glowing up can be incredibly toxic and please don’t take this post as a list of things you must do. Glow up should be something coming from the need to pamper yourself and to feel better in your life. If you’re not able to do any of this, it doesn’t make you flawed. Don’t use this to “fix” yourself either. Love yourself first
The outrage about not taking daily showers is unnecessary. Everybody’s life and needs are different. Some people need more hygiene than others, some sweat more, some bodies need more attention than others. I’m not saying you can’t shower daily or that you shouldn’t. I’m saying it’s not always necessary and from biological standpoint it is unnecessary for an average person. No matter what, do what you’re comfortable with. But please don’t call other people gross just because their habits differ from yours. It migth be especially hurtful who can’t make themselves shower regularly due to mental illness or lack of opportunities
Skincare isn’t bad, what I’m pointing out here is making sure to let your body do its thing. Bodies get lazy and if you start using products you don’t need, your body might stop regulating its skin in natural ways. Plus you might throw things out of balance if you experiment too much. Minimal skin care might be better in most cases
Thank you for any additions and I apologise to all who find this post hurtful. I’ll do my best to make it better!
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captaindaddykru · 4 years
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☆for emily☆
today it’s @keiraknighted‘s birthday. i wanted to finish this before today, but everything is flaming garbage, so a preview will have to do. no, i will no be giving out more details. happy birthday to my musical soulmate, the kinkiest queen of them all, em. my ol’ cobber. my favorite drongo. quite the spunk you are. you’re a classic. and you live in the worst possible timezone imaginable. here’s some best friends, pining, sexy, below <10k hopefully. also, sorry for the ugly temporary moodboard???? i was getting desperate at this point and am no grapic designer. i just needed something to distract from what you’re about to read. cheers!
So, by the time their holiday break rolls around, Clarke isn’t only sexually frustrated, she’s also kind of desperate. Which only intensifies when a few days before they’re all flying back to their hometown, Wells casually lets it drop he’s now in a relationship with a girl from his old chess club and things are ‘heating up fast’, whatever the hell that’s supposed to mean. She’s just more aware than ever she’s running out of time. 
Clarke doesn’t even know why it’s such a big deal to her. Maybe it’s her competitive streak coming into play, or the fact she really just wants to get the whole awkward virginity thing over with, maybe it’s the dark inexplicable pang in the middle of her chest whenever she sees the constant rotation of girls on Bellamy’s Instagram and Snapchat. She figures it’s a healthy amount of jealousy, courtesy of their very codependent ways, sharing everything with each other since childhood. They’re all apart for the first time in a decade, going their own ways, perhaps even growing apart. 
She doesn’t think about why Wells’ honest to God girlfriend doesn’t bother her as much when in reality that should make her feel even worse. A girlfriend could screw with their dynamic, a bunch of one night stands rationally speaking won’t. It could be that she knows Wells too well to know there’s still a very big chance he won’t go through with it, that he’ll let the girl down easy before Christmas even rolls around. 
But. Then she finds herself thinking of his jacket covering her shivering body, drenched from the rain, her left arm throbbing with pain, his hand wrapped around hers as he told her it was all going to be okay. She thinks of that time he left Gina’s birthday party early to come pick her up at a friend’s house after almost having a panic attack, the nights he spent sleeping in her bed after her father died, how he never once complained about getting her coffee from the drive through that was more than his hard limit of three dollars, and that one throw-away moment at the end of summer. That goodbye hug that lasted just a little too long, his arms tight around her waist, the intense look mirrored in both of their eyes as they pulled apart, the way she was afraid to say anything in case her voice gave out, before she got into her mom’s car and watched him and Wells disappear in the rearview mirror. 
It’s hard to explain, even to herself. It’s why she never thinks about it for too long. 
Which all brings her to tonight. A new year’s party at the house of someone who went to the same high school as them, that has all the charms of a bad hang-over in the making — terrible beer, music that’s mostly EDM and completely shit-faced people plastered across every surface.
She hasn’t seen Wells since his father’s Christmas party. Clarke finally met Luna there in person. She’s beautiful, easily talked to her about the non-profit she’s interning at for half an hour and had nothing but love in her eyes whenever she looked at Wells. He’s with her at her parents’ ski cabin right now, and from the way Bellamy was clapping his shoulder before he left early in the morning, Clarke figures he’s probably losing his v-card to her there which means that she’ll be the only one out of the three of them not to complete the pact. There’s no way she’s finding someone before midnight that she’d both feel comfortable with taking hers, and is even willing to do so in the first place. 
To make matters worse, Bellamy has totally ditched her to play beer pong with Bree, which she isn’t even sure isn’t code for hooking up in the coat closet. He knows she hates parties, especially when she doesn’t know anyone else there, and that she’s horrific at first impressions. She’s forced to make small-talk with Murphy, the loser who still hangs around their high school parking lot and she used to share one Culinary Arts class with before he got suspended. 
All of it combined has put her in a sour mood. And a drinking mood, but since all there is fucking shitty beer that might as well be toilet water she can’t even get drunk, so that just makes her even more unreasonably upset at nothing in particular. Maybe at the fact she’s so high strung and obsessed with controlling every little detail, that she didn’t just get it over with back on campus with some frat boy she never had to see again after, or that Wells and Bellamy managed to make it happen without even trying. It’s probably because she’s trying way too hard, people can probably tell.
It’s not fair that both of them beat her to it. Clarke wants to just be done with already, too. She wants to get it over with so she can get to the good, non first time stuff like them. She wants to be flirting with boys and girls at parties, or ask for someone’s number at a coffee shop without having to worry about having to explain it’s her first time doing any of it when they eventually invite her over to their room. She wants to be free and nonchalant and spontaneous, not constantly weighed down by the fact that she’s a virgin. It’s not like she’s asking for much. 
Half an hour to midnight, she pushes her way outside to the porch for some fresh air. It’s there where Bellamy finally bothers to leave Bree and her attention-seeking ways behind and come find her. 
“What’s up with you?” He asks, half a chuckle in his voice as he leans his forearms on the railing, mirroring her. 
Clarke grits her teeth together, then slowly exhales through her nose. She keeps her eyes on the tree swing in the distance, swaying softly because of the wind. “Nothing.”
He elbows her playfully, although his tone is serious. Of course he sees right through her. “Come on. Don’t give me that.”
She just grumbles something indecipherable, pushing back her hair from her face with one hand. She still doesn’t look at him, scared she might give anything more away. From inside, there’s the muffled beat of a hiphop song playing joined by the distanced tumult of college kids getting drunk and having fun. Except for the couple making out on the other end of the porch and one stoner sprawled over the grass smoking and staring at the sky, they’re alone. 
“I’m sorry about leaving you for Bree—” Bellamy starts, straightening back to his full height, and before she knows it, a flare of anger rises within her, burning white hot. She doesn’t recognize the feeling, but gets too lost in it to analyze it for very long.
Her head snaps to the side to glare at him, fingers tightening around the railing until her knuckles turn a pale white. “It’s not about Bree and her pathetic fuck-me eyes.”
“Okay,” he replies, sounding a bit too amused for her liking. He leans back, crossing his arms over his chest. It makes his biceps bulge in a way that’s completely unfair when she’s been perpetually turned on since Halloween, and it sends a surge of want pulsing from her core. “Then what’s it about, princess?”
Has his voice always been so deep? She hesitates, not sure she even wants to share this with him. He might be her best friend, but it’s embarrassing on a level she can’t even try and start to describe. “I’m annoyed, okay?” She bites, heated, which immediately makes her feel guilty. It’s not his fault nobody wants her. “I expected that I’d at least beat Wells to it. And since it’s all I can think about all the time now, I’m constantly horny.” A blush forms on her cheeks, down her neck and all over her collarbone, but she refuses to let that or the way his eyes widen slightly stop her. It’s only awkward if she lets it be. “I just feel so stupid. I mean, I had five months to get it over with like both of you, and here we are. What the hell is wrong with me?”
A tense silence wraps around them for a moment, Clarke’s heart pounding loudly in her chest as panic claws up her throat. She’s such a fucking idiot. She shouldn’t have brought it up in the first place. She’s sure neither of them would’ve actually held it against her if she didn’t lose her virginity before new year’s, they’re better than that. She knows they are. Clarke is just so — frustrated.
His tongue darts out to wet his lips, and she finds herself entranced with the movement. “I didn’t know you were so upset about it,” he starts, tentatively. Her blue eyes snap up to meet his, a smirk breaking across his face. He’s teasing her, the asshole, when he says, “I mean, if you’re that desperate, I’ll do it.”
Her eyes narrow, finally pushing off the railing. A gust of wind greets her body, bristling her hair and making tiny goosebumps appear over her arms. She’s seconds away from angry tears, she can tell. “Don’t make it sound like it’s such a fucking chore.”
Bellamy just kind of stares at her dumbly, his whole body grown tense, making her even more furious. Did he lose his tongue all of a sudden? He’s never had a problem sharing his opinions on her, no matter how negative, before. “What?” She snaps, roughly brushing  a strand of hair behind her ear before tucking her hands back underneath her opposite armpits.  
“It wouldn’t be a chore, Clarke,” he corrects her, his eyes still slightly widened as if alarmed by the sound of himself speaking. He swallows visibly, his adam’s apple bobbing up and down in the low glow of the Christmas lights draped across the ceiling of the porch. Bellamy lifts one of his shoulders, casual, even if the movement is stiffer than it usually would be. “I just — I didn’t realize I was an option.”
Her heart trips over itself as silence stretches between them for a moment. She wants to ask him a million questions, but the best thing she can come up with is, “So you were serious?” Clarke raises her eyebrows, trying to figure out if he was just being nice, taking pity on her or if it was something much more dangerous than that. “You’ll do it?”
His jaw clenches briefly, his nostrils flaring. Another second, and he asks, rough, “Do you want me to do it?”
She considers it. This is Bellamy, her best friend. He can always make her laugh, and there’s no one else she feels as much at ease with, and he’s definitely attractive, even she has noticed as much. She likes his stubborn curls, his smile when someone catches him off guard, the sharp line of his jaw. And at the very least he would know what he’s doing. She trusts him. “Yes.”
Now that she’s aware it’s a possibility, she refuses to want anything else. It’d be kind of perfect, actually.
He clears his throat, blinking hard as he tears his eyes off her for a second, scrubbing his face with one of his hands. It’s very big, and Clarke finds herself wondering for the first time if it means the rest of him is big as well. Bellamy sniffs when his dark eyes land back on her. “Have you been drinking?”
“Just half a beer,” she answers, maybe a bit too eager, her hands dropping at her sides after smoothing down the bottom of her glittery top. She doesn’t want to give him enough time to talk himself out of it. “And I think someone diluted it with water so it barely counts.”
He nods, once, then nudges his head to the side. “Want to get out of here?”
Taking one more look around the porch, Clarke worries her bottom lip pensively, shooting him an apologetic look. “My parents are having friends over, so my house is definitely not an option.” 
Besides, she doesn’t want to risk them finding out and making it weird. Especially not if the consequence is going to be an open door policy whenever he or Wells are over. Nothing has to change after tonight.
“Thelonious is out,” he offers, then flinches when he seems to remember something else. “But Octavia might show up with her friends.”
Clarke nods, giving him another long searching look before she makes up her mind. It’ll be fine. This is Bellamy. She’s a pro at compartmentalizing and he’s sleeping with a different girl like every other night. It can just be sex. “Upstairs then?”
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nad-zeta · 4 years
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Match up (◕‿◕✿)
nAdDy sEnpAi if you’re still doing ikevamp matchups, could you do mine pleaseee 👉🏼👈🏼, school’s been really hectic and i need a pick me up 😔😔 here’s my updated info hehe 😚
I’m a female on the libra-scorpio cusp and a Slytherin, I used to be an ENFP but now I’m an INFP. Appearance-wise, I’m 5'2, i’ve brown eyes and caramel brown hair. I also wear glasses and I’m also quite tanned from being out in the sun all the time.
Personality-wise:
- I can be really enthusiastic about stuff I’m really interested in, such as history (especially world war history), sciences (but physics is trash to me) and anime (I’m a closet nerd hehe) .
- I can be really ambitious and competitive, and I would sometimes place unrealistic expectations on myself, leaving me mentally exhausted and stressed, but like i place these unrealistic measures on myself to strive to be the best
- I do try to chill and take it slow, but you know, sometimes i just can’t 😅
- I’m quite an open book to all my close friends
- I also tend to be really possessive, like I dont like people purposely trying to steal my friends (it happened a lot of times before) and i hate it when someone randomly butts into a conversation i’m having with anyone, especially if it’s a deep conversation
- I can be really awkward around people i don’t click with, but around people i click with, i can be pretty wild and will be able to hold conversations with.
- I tend to procrastinate a lot, and people say i look intimidating but i don’t feel like I’m intimidating.
- I can be really sensitive to other’s emotions and i tend to put others before me, so like my close friend always told me that i’m too much of a giver, like I try to please everyone else and ignore myself
- My love languages are physical touch and quality time
- I can’t stand people who are attention seekers or just aim to be public nuisances as i feel that they’re just really irritating and it gets on my nerves, especially those people who are just doing stupid things to be popular (which is lowkey why i think tiktoks dances are dumb, like seriously i dont get the hype, but i do like tiktok meme videos tho)
- I listen to a lot of different genres of music, but i especially love classics (mozart and chopin are my favourites) and pop.
- I can really insecure at times, because i always feel that every other girl out there is better than me and i’m just a plain and ugly, and partially because i got bullied when i was younger about my appearance
- I like dressing up and putting on makeup occassionally, but i do act like a tomboy most of the time (ie. I hate skirts, like i really dont like them and i have no idea why, but jeans are supreme).
- I also love playing the piano and singing as well, even though i’m not that good at it :D
- People tell me that I’m very curious and persistent, constantly pushing until i get answers, but i do know my limits.
- I’m also very passionate about things I love, and i would do anything to protect people that i care and love.
- I’m also very affectionate and supportive towards my close friends and people i love. - I do have trust issues and I often feel like i do not deserve love and that I hate people who betray my trust.
- I’m ok with pda, but not anything overly affectionate, like hand-holding and kissing is ok, but not making out 😳😖
- I also tend to be pretty forgettful, and i’ll not eat for hours to get my work on hand done (whoop pretty unhealthy but :0)
- I’m also really sarcastic when i want to be, and i can’t hold a poker face to save my life (i swear i always start laughing like 2 seconds in) and I tend to sass people a lot, especially if I’ve had a bad day
- I’m also pretty fiesty and I hate people stereotyping me for my gender (i.e like when someone says that “oh you’re pretty good for a girl”) like what does my gender have to do with my ability? Like there is zero correlation
- My sense of humour is kind of twisted at times but i really love memes and i tend to crack inappropriate jokes sometimes
- I’ve been told that i come across as really flirty to some guys but it’s because i can be really touchy feely to my friends
- I’m also quick to anger, especially if i have a bad day, i hate people who nag and i hate people who put down others
- I’m kind of touch-starved, so i really like hugs and cuddles, but I’m also ticklish so my friends tend to tickle me when hugging me
- I can be a daydreamer at times, like I would get stuck in my own fantasy world when i shouldn’t 😂😂
- I’m also a drama queen around my friends, I dont have a lot of them in real life because of some rumours that others spread, so i only have a close circle of friends i really treasure and would do anything for them
- I also tend to bottle up all my anger and negative thoughts, and would sometimes like explode on others even though I don’t mean to
- Sometimes I don’t really think before I say or act, which is why sometimes I can come off as a bit rude or unfeeling but it’s just me and my impulsiveness 
Fun Facts:
- i really love food, especially sweets (dark chocolate and dango is my life)
- i really hate horror movies (I’m usually pretty brave, but horror movies just get to me so much ergh) but i love chick flicks and adventure flims
- I’m also a hopeless romantic, which is why even little romantic gestures can make my heart flutter
- My hobbies are reading, writing and shooting (only air-rifle though)
- I used to be pretty athletic, I still am, but to a lesser extend now, because i injured my left knee playing volleyball in the past. It’s on it’s road to recovery, but it still hurts quite badly when i overexert myself.
- I love artic foxes and cats, dogs are too energetic for me 😅
- I’m also a sneaker hoarder and I love collecting and wearing sneakers hehe, heels are like torture devices for the feet i dont care even if they make me taller
- Coffee over tea anyday, no offense to peoples who like tea, but a fresh cup of brewed coffee is one of the best things in the world 😚
- I’m really terrible at drawing, I’m not gonna kid you. When i was younger, my art teacher threatened to fail me because im really terrible at drawing. 😂
- I’m also very injury-prone and a bit clumsy, which caused me to have bruises occasionally
- I’m kinda bad and math and physics, but like if you take your time to explain to me then I’ll understand a bit more lol, my best subject is like chemistry
- my ideal date would just be cuddling with my boyfriend, and either watching a movie together or bookshop date hehe
uwu i would be super grateful and happy if you did my matchup uwu thank you sm sending you all my love and hugs and cuddles 🥰💖💕
Hi hi, lia! ❤I’m so happy ya requested! 😆Hehe, I hope you enjoy it love, and I hope this cheers ya up! Love ya lots, and I hope you enjoy it! ❤😊
So I match you with……………. Isaac
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Oh, the first time Isaac spotted you in the dining room, introducing yourself to everyone, he was paralyzed with fear. You quite possibly looked more intimidating than anyone he has ever met in his whole entire life, and that’s saying a lot considering you were standing right next to his pure blooded vampire, sire. Comte spotted Isaac hiding behind the doorway of the dining room, peaking in to catch a glimpse of their new guest. You instantly turned around when you heard the blond vampire beckon, someone closer, whose name you know all too well. He had been the cause of endless amounts of math and science homework over the years. 
Your eyes locked with his for a split second, but moments after you met his rosy eyes he darted them to the ground. “I-s-saac Newton, n-nice to meet you.” You gave him a shy smile and took his outstretched hand and shook it, before you could even say a word, Arthur budded in and interrupted. An action which caused you to feel slightly irritated, Isaac looked up at your face and saw that you were starting to become awkward with being the centre of attention. The two of you still held hands when the physicist decided to pull you into the kitchen with him to give you a moment of peace. You smiled when he is a very soft meek voice confessed that he didn’t really like crowds or loud people, a little fact that the two of you bonded over. And before you knew it, you and Isaac were now sitting in the kitchen chatting away in a deep conversation about your mutual dislike of overcrowded places, bullies and plain old public nuisances.
The next day you decided to curiously explore the mansion. You came across a great big library, and you felt as excited as a kid on Christmas day. They had every and any book you could possibly wish for. You decided to spend the day doing something you absolutely loved, and that would be... reading. You had found yourself an old outdated science book, and you were honestly so fascinated at how little had changed in terms of scientific principles over the years. You were so invested in the book you were reading you didn’t even hear Issac walking in. He was on the hunt for his little hedgehog. 
You were awoken from your book reading trance when you heard the sound of a vase smash against the floor. Startled you turned your head towards the loud crash only to see a very distressed looking Isaac. You are naturally sensitive to other emotion, and very much a giver, so it only took one glance at Isaac’s troubled face to prompt you into action. You noticed that he had cut himself on the fallen vase and he was now down crouched on the floor trying to retrieve his terrified hedgehog, who had gotten himself caught at the bottom of one of the large bookcases. 
Wordlessly you laid on the floor beside Isaac and peered under the bookcase, when you spotted little Harry cowering in the dark corner tangled in a ball of wool. Your hands and arms were much smaller than Issac’s, so you were easily able to reach under the bookcase and secure the little hedgehog. Both of you sat up as you cradle the scared little animal in your hands, trying to untangle the wool that was wrapped around his body. “My God, Harry, I was worried sick about you, please never disappear like that again.” both you and Isaac breathed a sigh of relief at the now rescued critter.
That is when you looked up and noticed that Harry wasn’t the only hedgehog who had been injured, “Isaac, your hand!” You stood up and offered Isaac a hand up, you then gently took his hand in yours and led him to your room. You sat him down on your bed and gently started treating the injury as Harry had made himself comfortable, now sleeping on your pillow. While treating Isaac’s injury, you started chatting away with him. You could see him blushing profusely from embarrassment so you decided to tell him about the book you were reading before the whole fiasco. At the mention of the science book, Isaac instantly perked up and met your enthusiasm ten fold. After his wound was wrapped and treated, the two of you sat in deep conversation for the second time that week, chatting all about science and your mutual love for the subject. And that my dear friend is how you and Isaac had become good friends
Since that day, it wasn’t uncommon for the two of you to be sitting across from each other in the library, reading away. Usually, Harry would be nestled in your lap as you and Isaac enjoy a quiet afternoon together. Some afternoon the two of you would just simply sit in silence and read while other afternoons were filled with laughter and conversation between the two of you cuties. 
As the days went on Isaac had noticed a very curious fact about you, and that was how forgetful you were. He had noticed that you would go hours and hours without eating or drinking something which strangely enough, was the exact opposite of him, who required minimum routine of five meals a day. It was this curious observation that had started the habit of the two of you dining together every day. Something which both of you really enjoyed, especially now that the two of you were determined to find the best sweets in all of Paris. Every day without fail, at lunchtime you and Isaac would go out to town to try a new cafés for lunch and sweet. These café crawls usually involved Isaac showing you around Paris, visiting book stores together and leisurely walking beside the Seine. You honestly loved spending time with this hedgehog, who had seemed to have completely opened up to you. 
Isaac loved your inappropriate jokes and twisted humour and would bust out into uncontrollable laughter whenever you would crack a joke. One time as the two of you were sitting on the fountain’s edge eating some ice cream, you saw a man falling up stairs. As hard as you tried, you couldn’t keep a poker face, it just wasn't in you, especially when Isaac had just witnessed the exact same scene and was now looking at you and snickering. Of course, being the sweet angels you were, you rushed to see if the man was alright, however, your walk home with Isaac was filled with jokes and endless laughter of the days events. 
Ooh how Isaac had fallen head over heels for you, his favourite thing in the world was to hear you sing and play the piano. He would silently walk into the piano room whenever you played, and just let the beautiful sounds wash away his weariness of the day. He would shower you with endless compliments, even more so, when you would deny them, saying that you aren’t that good. These playful little banter fights usually end with him tickling you. He usually won’t give up until you admit that you are the best singer and piano player in the whole mansion. Cue Mozart walking in like challenge accepted.
The night Isaac finally confessed his feeling for you was on, one warm summers night. The night started of with Isaac taking you out to watch a musical concert. He knew just how much you love music. Before he had met you, he had never really bother taking the time to listen to music, as he had always been far to absorbed with his own work, to stop and smell the flowers. However since meeting you, he found himself utterly enjoying going to the opera and musical concerts and letting himself just get absorbed by the sound of music. He loved the way your eyes gleamed as you watched and listened to the performance. 
After the concert, he lead you out into the garden, where his telescope had been all set up. The two of you sat together and stargazed while Mozart played some romantic classical music in the background, which was arranged by the resident hedgehog himself. Somewhere between the beautiful sight of the stars and the gentle melody playing in the background. Isaac build up the courage to finally reveal to you just how madly in love he was with you. He then produced a bunch of red roses out of thin air and resting in the roses was a card with a hand-drawn meme ( courtesy of Sabastian) asking you in the most hilarious way to stay in the past with him. The two of you met in a sweet kiss and the rest of the evening was spent cuddled in each other’s arms under the stars.
Both of you are pretty touch starved creatures, so expect to be cuddled, snuggled, kissed and hugged whenever Isaac comes across you. Like if Isaac spots you in the garden hanging laundry he will give you the biggest hug from behind, kiss your neck and then tell you how much he loves you, before he is off with Napo to teach the children.  
Don’t worry about your impulsive behaviours, bottled up emotions or a quick temper. Isaac might be new to the whole human behaviour thing but he is very in-tune with your emotions and he will instantly pick up when you are feeling upset or angry. He will aim to fix every and all problems immediately, especially if it is causing you hurt or upset. This also counts for when you are over stressing yourself, about putting too high an expectation on yourself. If he sees you getting angry, stressed or frustrated, he will pull you into his arms and gently stroke your hair, you can’t be angry when you are being so gently held and loved. Isaac will sit an listen to all your troubles. 
He always encourages you to communicate whenever you are having negative emotions so he can help you through it the best way he knows how, with cuddles. He would usually make you a cup of coffee and pull you into his lap and cuddle you, as you unpack everything and anything that had upset you that day. He will patiently listen and leave small little kisses on your cheeks to remind you that he is there for you and will support you no matter what
He loves your competitive side, even more so when you use it to win a bet and beat Arthur. HE also loves how open-minded you are. The two of you often teach each other new skills, for example, you have been teaching Isaac how to shoot while Isaac has been patiently teaching you maths and science.
He low key loves how possessive you are and is just as possessive over you. He absolutely adores you and will remind you of that every single day. 
He loves holding your hands and giving you small kisses on the cheeks whenever the two of you go out together. He honestly can’t believe it when you feel insecure about the way you look, “You are honest to God, the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met.” Will tickle you and shower you with kisses and loving words whenever you are feeling insecure about yourself. 
He will always snicker when your feisty side comes out. Like whenever you sass the men at the banquets for spewing gender based stereotypes and being ignorant. Once they have been put in their place, Isaac while still laughing at the hilarious smack-down you just gave the ignorant men will always give you the sweetest kisses, “God, I love you so much.”
Isaac legit loves everything about you from your quick temper to your clumsy streak. You best be sure this hedgehog is ganna be right by your side whenever you clumsily injure yourself. He will legit sweep you off your feet and nuzzle into your neck, all while making sure you didn’t injure yourself too severely. 
This boy loves you to the moon and back and would do anything to make you happy. If you are overexerting your injured knee you best be sure he will piggyback you to his room and do everything in his power to ease away the pain. Even if that means taking a soothing hot bath with you.
Often the two of you cuties can be found cuddled together, each reading their own book. Both your love languages are physical touch and quality time so Isaac is happiest when you are nestled near him simply spending some good quality time together.
Other potential matches…………. Comte 
I hope you have the best day lia! Sending ya all the hugs! ❤❤🌻 @i-sleep-like-napoleon
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