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im actually really worried about the knuckles series im so scared wade being a main character is gonna ruin it somehow . if they were gonna have one of the human characters be a co protagonist with knuckles it should have been maddie im not sorry for saying it
#im not even against original human characters being made for the sonic movies to be clear#like i said i like maddie and if it had been my choice i would have made her the main human#i just dont think that the movie humans should be the main focus#andmost of what little information we've gotten about the knuckles series has been about human characters ..#like the series is called knuckles. it should focus on knuckles#and im also just not a huge fan of wade . there are other characters who deserve the extra attention more i think#and im also worried theyre gonna do some copaganda shit with him#best outcome is wade goes to knuckles to train to be a better cop#and knuckles is like ''the only way to be a 'better' cop is to not be a cop at all'' so he quits and they go get ice cream or whatever#i think tom should quit his job too btw. acab
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so while i was writing the book, i became violently suicidal.
this was mostly due to the fact that i had a very bad reaction to some meds and my brain stopped producing any serotonin. also i was in the last semester of grad school where it's actually illegal to feel anything but dread. so it wasn't going well.
somewhere in the fog of it i became aware i needed help. nobody was taking clients or my insurance. i didn't want to do inpatient care - it wasn't right for my needs. there's not really an "in between" stage between "inpatient" and "no care," but i was trying to do the right thing. i was trying to activate the chain of command that was my emergency plan. i knew i needed help now.
i used betterhelp.
i know, i know. i'm a straight-A student and so smart and so clever, how could i ever use something so blatantly bad. to be honest with you, i didn't feel particularly keen on it from the getgo - things that seem too good to be true usually are. also, if something online is free, the price is usually your privacy.
the thing is that there was kind of a global pandemic happening at the time and i worked 5 jobs alongside of being a fulltime student and also like writing a book on the side. it is a miracle that i even thought about getting help. i would love to tell you i had the mental wherewithal to like, process whether this was the right choice for me. mostly i was desperate. i was so suicidal that i was trying to find a reason to stay inside of fortune cookies. i was the kind of suicidal that looks like splatterpaint. i hadn't been that bad in an entire decade.
they took my data. i gave them it freely. somewhere out there, they have a dossier on me. on everything i survived. my story in little datapoints, scattergraphed beautifully.
the first woman told me that really i should be grateful, because (and this is a direct quote): "at least you're not anne frank." i said that i felt that statement was antisemitic, as anne frank's life and experience shouldn't be compared to like, a nonbinary lesbian in western massachusetts. the therapist said that i should try to use lucid dreaming to try to picture myself in an actually scary situation, like running from nazis.
i applied for another therapist. i was willing to accept the possibility that there was a bad apple in the bunch. the next therapist and i even laughed about how inappropriate that statement was. and then, in our next session: the new therapist said if i was struggling with body image issues, i should just work harder on my appearance. she spent 3 sessions in a row talking about how she was grieving, and made me memorize facts about her grandmother so "she can live on through my clients."
i am a three's-a-charm kind of person. okay, so what if the last person made me uncomfortable. i figured it was just a misunderstanding of priorities - she had felt she was sharing with me, i had felt like i had to take care of her. i applied for another therapist.
the last woman asked me to help her pray. she bowed her head. i stared at her, frozen, while she said: lord, i beg you: cure her. take the pain of being gay away from her.
i spent somewhere between 2.5 and 3 months on betterhelp. in that whole time, i was not getting the professional help i so desperately needed, even though i was fucking trying.
in the end, i survived this because i finally could get off the meds that were literally killing me. a request for a real therapist finally went through. i survived because my friends saved my life. because nick let me sob myself dry in his arms. because maddie took the razors out of my room when i asked them to. because grace slept over in my bed for like 3 weeks in a row since nobody trusted me not to hurt myself when i was alone. i survived because i got fucking lucky. because even when i was desperately suicidal, i was too old and too self-aware to take "you need to be prettier" as good advice.
the thing is that there's a 19 year old me who isn't like that. who would have heard "just think about how grateful you should be" and said - oh, i see. i would have assumed that is what it means to be in therapy: the same thing my abusers used to tell me. that i am just pretending and lazy. that i am ugly and unworthy.
betterhelp positioned itself to take advantage of an incredibly vulnerable community. it preys on desperation. it knows it is serving people who are not doing well mentally. it saw that there is a huge need for real, immediate, compassionate mental health care: and then it fucking takes your money and privacy.
i still get their ads on instagram. last night i watched as a woman in a pool pretends to talk to a different woman. they discuss her anxiety.
there's a 19 year old version of me, and she didn't survive this. she was too tired, and drowning. i almost fucking died. this thing almost fucking killed me.
in the ad, the woman playing the therapist takes a note on a clipboard and then nods once, sagely.
i have to admit it's a pretty scene. the steam and light coming off the pool water lands on the actresses. like this, it almost looks baptismal, holy.
#writeblr#the book....#coming soon#hey so if ur someone who has ever said “you need to write a book”#i wrote the book#it's ... probably the best thing ive ever written#this is maybe too honest lol#okay to reblog thank you for asking i love u i am in love with u our wedding will be in may
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Impurities
Synopsis: You’re the new girl at East Highland High, your only goal is to get through school. Until you come across Nate Jacobs
Genre: suggestive, slight angst,
Pairing: Nate x fem!reader
Warnings: manipulation, lying, misogyny, slutshaming, reader has a negative body image/implied body dismorphia, dark themes, slightly suggestive but no smut in this one, let me know if I missed something
Song rec: music to watch boys to - lana del rey
WC: +8.6k (oops)
Other parts: previous part, next part
A/N: This is my first upload on tumblr help?? Also English isn’t my first language so please keep that in mind and be nice :,) feedback is always appreciated!! Currently working on part 2 ᥫ᭡
You were the perfect prey for Nate
You were cute, just so fucking cute that it almost drove him crazy, and so polite during lessons, never refusing anyone anything, whether they asked for a pen, or if they could copy your homework, which you always had ready. In his eyes, you were perfect, the only right choice for him.
He knew you wouldn’t fuck up the way Cassie or Maddy did, you wouldn’t disappoint him like they did.
Sure, your style wasn't his thing at all -not that you dressed awful or anything, you were really into y2k, and just loved wearing baggy jeans or any jeans for that matter, and graphic tops combined with sparkly accessories, chains and rings.
He wished you'd wear something more... feminine, like skirts and cute dresses, that show off your assumingly perfect body, he also wished you'd wear brighter colors.
Another thing he loved about you, was that you were really smart and didn't seem to pay attention to boys at all, which surprised him because he was used to girls being all over boys, only wanting one thing from them and he hated it because they were all so predictable.
But you weren’t.
It also kind of scared him at the same time though, because what if you just really weren't into boys to begin with?
He didn't know much about you except for the fact that you loved music, movies and tv shows. Or at least that's what you said, when you had to introduce yourself to the new class.
It had been just a few days prior that he had broken up with Cassie at that time, but he was sure that in this moment, when you stood there in front of the class, with your trembling hands, shy smile and quiet voice, he was head over heels for you.
You just enrolled to East Highland High, you knew no one yet. That had to be his biggest advantage ever, since you didn't know about any of the bad things Nate has done so far, and no one could take you away from him once he earned your trust. Because why would you trust anyone else more than him?
It was your third day at the new school when he decided to approach you.
During lunch break you sat alone, listening to music as you tried to subtly look around the huge cafeteria, searching for someone else who was alone.
Everyone shared their table with at least two other students, except for you and some other girl that sat alone as well.
You considered approaching her and sitting with her, maybe she was nice and maybe she had other friends? But you decided not to do it, because maybe you'd disturb her or something. You sighed and scrolled through your phone, when you suddenly noticed someone standing in front of your table.
You slowly looked up and noticed it was one of your classmates. You quickly fished one of your earbuds out and stopped the music "Hey.." You said, as you smiled at him. He smiled back at you, the smile genuine as he replied "Hey, can I sit for a moment?" he gestured towards the chair in front of you.
You were confused.
Confused because he wanted to sit with you? Yes, you were new to East Highland High, but this wasn't the first school you ever attended. You could tell who's popular and who isn't.
And Nate Jacobs was definitely popular. He had to be.
Quaterback, extremely tall, and extremely good looking, there was no way he just wanted to sit and talk to someone like you. What if he's gonna bully me? Take my lunch money and beat me up? But that would be absurd.. right?
You nodded before removing the other earbud as well. "What're you listening to?" He asked, genuinely curious "Oh... um... just Lana Del Rey." You said nervously as you looked at your phone, too scared to look him in the eyes.
"Oh cool.. which song?" He'd be lying if he said he knew literally any Lana Del Rey song besides Summertime Sadness and Video Games, but he wanted to know nonetheless. Maybe he'd listen to it at home to check out what kind of music you listen to "It's called..." You hesitated for a moment before finally saying "'Music to watch boys to'" You knew how that sounded.
Nate chuckled once he heard the name of the song and saw your flustered expression "Is that what you're doing? Listening to music while you're watching the boys here?" He joked. You chuckled nervously "No, really that's the last thing I'd do. I'm trying not to look at anyone longer than a second." You smiled as you locked eyes with him for seemingly less than 0.5 seconds.
Nate nodded "Yeah, I can tell." He cleared his throat "Just came over to introduce myself since you're new and everything." He reached over the table, stopping right in front of your phone, inviting you to shake his hand "I'm Nate."
You knew that already, since the two of you had classes together and you paid attention during attendance, to memorize the names of some of your classmates.
You carefully reached over and shook his extremely large hand. "I'm y/n, but you probably know that already." You once again chuckled nervously, thinking back to the painful introduction you went through at each and every new lesson you went to.
"Yeah, right." He nodded, smiling as his mind went there as well. During maths, arts, and English, he was lucky enough to see you introduce yourself over and over again. You slowly retrieved your hand again and Nate couldn't help but feel sad at the loss of contact.
He took a look around the cafeteria before setting his gaze back onto you "So, why are you sitting here all alone?" He asked in a slightly less playful tone "Hm.. I don't know," You shrugged "I guess I just don't know how to approach people." You smiled again.
What Nate had noticed in this short amount of time, is how often you smiled at him, and how you tried to keep that expression.
He didn't only notice it in this moment while he sat in front of you, but also during lessons, whenever someone talked to you, you rarely kept a neutral expression, always a friendly smile on your lips.
You were unbelievably insecure.
Always trying to remain friendly, out of fear of being perceived as unfriendly or unapproachable or anything that could be perceived as negative. He got you figured out faster than you could've imagined.
When he didn't respond, you continued "I actually considered talking to that girl over there, since she's alone as well.."
Nate looked over to the girl you were referring to before smirking and looking back to you "I wouldn't do that." You frowned in confusion "Why? Is she mean or something?" Nate shook his head "She just... doesn't talk, I don't think I've ever seen her talk to anyone before. She always sits alone and stares... into the void or something, even during lessons she barely responds to the teachers." he pointed out.
You sighed "Wow... And I thought I was socially incompetent." He chuckled and shook his head "No believe me, it can always be worse." You nodded and smiled again. Once you didn't reply, Nate continued "But, to be honest, you don't seem socially incompetent at all. You actually seem fun to be around."
You looked up at him again, this time for a bit longer than 0,5 seconds, and raised your eyebrows "You think so?" Nate nodded "Yeah, of course, you don't?"
You thought for a moment am I actually fun to be around? It had honestly been ages since you had actual friends. Sure, you had classmates at your previous schools, who met up with you from time to time. But it never felt like an actual friendship, with trust and sincerity.
You figured that you just weren't easy or fun to be around, that you just bored them eventually, even though you tried to be as fun as possible.
But your parents also played a big role.
Your mom has been strict and didn't want you to go out with friends too much, because she was scared you'd get hurt. She constantly fought with you and your father, because neither you nor your dad shared the same amount of paranoia she seemed to have.
And your dad was constantly moving cities, and even states with the two of you, whenever he had a new, better job offer. East Highland High was probably your third highschool so far, and even if you wanted to stay polite and make friends, you didn't want them to get too close to you, because the moment you had to move it'd be over anyways.
"I don't... know.." You said, and for the first time your smile actually faded. Not into a sad expression, but your smile just seemed to slip, and Nate felt like he got just the slightest bit closer to you.
"I don't really have any friends outside of school, and since I have none here either.." You shrugged again, not sure what to tell him. He nodded "Well.. you have me now, we can be friends." You looked up at him again, your eyes wide. You waited for him to laugh and tell you that all of this was a prank or something, but he didn't.
"Um... Thank you, but you really don't have to do that. I bet you already have plenty of friends." Nate shook his head and said "You can never have enough friends," He had a point, not everyone lived a socially awkward life like you did "besides, as I said, you seem cool to be around." He added.
"Thank you, I'd love to be your friend." You responded with another smile. Nate couldn't believe that he got this close to you in just five minutes, and that you didn't seem to question any of his intentions at all. In his eyes, he didn't only achieve his goals for the day, he also did you a huge favour.
You had someone you could count on, someone to hang out with, you weren’t alone anymore.
Then the doorbell rang, informing everyone that the break was over now.
"Alright, we have maths now, let’s go together, yeah?" He asked as he got up. You nodded and grabbed your phone, stuffing it in your bag before you got up as well.
Two weeks passed after you first talked to Nate, and as it turns out, he really seemed to be your friend.
You went shopping together, spent time mostly at your place, because your mom wanted to keep an eye on him since he was a stranger and most importantly a boy, and you even went to his football game once. You seemed truly happy whenever you were with him.
A little too happy for your own liking.
Because deep down you knew you might have to leave him behind eventually, or that he'd get bored of you at some point.
Not to mention that you, against your own will, developed a small crush on him. But who could blame you when he was the first boy who ever truly cared for you like he did? Or bought you gifts and showered you with affection like he did?
Yeah that was another thing that Nate did. He loved buying things for you.
At first it were just small things like ice cream from the gas station, or snacks from vending machines. But eventually, the gifts got bigger and bigger despite you telling him that you couldn’t possibly pay him back.
Sure, your dad's job did pay him a lot, but you were sure that Nate's dad had to earn at least twice as much for his son to be able to buy that many things.
Last time you two went to the mall and he saw a pair of earrings for more than 200$, he dragged you along with him and showed them to you saying "They'd look so pretty on you." It almost felt like he was your boyfriend.
Usually the girls in the movies you watched would pressure their boyfriends into buying them expensive jewelry, and into spending their money on them, but Nate seemed to be the other way he around.
He was pressuring you into allowing him to spend his money on you.
Just like that day when the two of you went into another boutique, because Nate convinced you that "it'll be fun!", to put it in his words.
The moment you stepped into the boutique, you felt somewhat uneasy. You walked in with your ripped jeans and tank top on, and the only clothes you saw were dresses, skirts, and tops that you'd never consider buying. Not to mention the shoes that they sold, looked nowhere near as comfortable as your sneakers did.
Nate knew that.
He only had to look at your face for a split second to know what you're feeling. You felt like you wouldn't fit in, or like these clothes wouldn't suit you. But he knew how to convince you.
He spent two entire weeks with you after all.
Any normal person would say that's not enough to fully know somebody, but Nate had his ways of finding out almost every insecurity, fear and worry of yours, just by subtly asking the right questions.
And none of them shocked him, since he already figured out that you were socially anxious and insecure.
But he also knew what you needed. You craved someone who loves you and gives you constant reassurance, someone who tells you what to do and who to go out with, like your mom did, because that's all you knew your entire life.
You needed to be loved and touched, craving intimacy with literally anyone, because you never had friends who'd hug you tightly when you were anxious, or hold you close when you needed it, and your parents didn't either.
And he could give you all of that and more, once the time was right.
He also figured that you haven't had a boyfriend yet, or haven't been intimate with anyone yet, and that thought alone made him crave you even more, if that was even possible.
The fact that he would be your first everything, was enough to get him going, and motivated him to show you your true potential.
And he knows that you’d let him.
He always dreamt about how easily you'd let him have his way with you, and how he'd corrupt you. Nate had sadistic thoughts as well, fantasizing about making you cry and beg him for forgiveness for something that wasn’t even your fault.
He also dreamt of leaving marks and bruises all over your body, so that you and everyone else knew you’re his.
But he wouldn't want to hurt you, he knew from experience how bad that could end for him.
And the moment he saw your innocent eyes looking up at him and your smile while doing so, the violent thoughts got replaced with the need to protect you from any man that even just walked near you.
"You okay?" He asked casually before he walked towards one of the racks with skirts. "Mhm.. I just don't think I want to buy anything here, Nate..." You said as you nervously looked down at your feet, feeling bad for possibly disappointing him.
Nate turned around and looked at you "Don't you want to try something on at least?" Before he let you respond, he came up with an idea "How about this, I'll put together an outfit and you can try it on and see for yourself if you like it or not." He asked, but it was more of a demand than a question.
You sighed and looked around the store, noticing that they also had jeans skirts, and a dark red leather skirt that you thought was really pretty. Nate's eyes followed your gaze and he immediately started searching for something he wanted you to try on.
Sure, a jeans skirt might be a good start as well, since it might make you feel a bit more comfortable and at least show off your legs, but the leather skirt was just absolutely slutty in his eyes. He didn't want you to walk around at school -or anywhere for that matter- like that, like you're 'asking for it'.
While you walked towards the two skirts, Nate walked towards another section. He picked out a pastel pink short sleeve top, with a bow in the middle and a sweetheart neckline. He smirked as he imagined you inside the rather tight top, knowing that he's the only guy that would be near you while all the other boys could only dream of being close to you.
He then picked out a pair of black flats, which he knew you wouldn't be opposed to, simply because of the color alone, white stockings and a white and pink plaid mini skirt.
Then he walked over to you, as you still looked at the various skirts. "y/n, your outfit is ready!" Nate exclaimed once he was behind you, and you couldn't help but flinch as he pulled you out of your daydream.
You turned around and looked at his full hands, trying not to grimace at the bright colours. The shoes looked alright however, and where the only dark piece of clothing. "Nate, that won't suit me," you said as he handed you the clothes over "are you sure you want me to try it on?" you didn't even finish the question before he nodded.
You sighed before walking towards the changing room. "I'll wait outside until you're done." he said before you closed the door.
Once it was closed you sighed once more and started to undress. You liked Nate, more than just in a friendly platonic way, and if any other guy would've told you to dress up like that, you definitely would've refused.
But Nate did so many nice things for you, the least you could do was to make him laugh for a bit. Because you already expected that that's what he'll do once he sees you in this outfit.
Once you were left in your underwear you looked into the mirror, feeling insecure. You didn't like your body at all. You just weren't shaped like the girls on the cheer squad, and you also didn't seem to have their proportions. And now you had to wear a skirt that would expose your huge legs and belly.
You felt sick at the thought of Nate seeing you in this outfit. You looked at the skirt and panicked because what if he thought you're skinnier, and he picked the wrong size? You'd have to tell him to get you a size bigger, and it would be super embarrassing.
You put on the top first and gulped when you noticed how tight it was, your chest on display. But you were sure it was supposed to sit a bit tighter. Then you shakily grabbed the skirt and put it on, and surprisingly it closed and sat perfectly fine. Except for the fact that it was quite short.
You then put on the stockings which ended right above your knee, and the shoes. You looked into the mirror again and turned to the side, throwing various poses to check it out from different angles.
And then you frowned, because for some reason the fit looked pretty cute, but... would you actually go out like this? Definitely no- "Are you ready?" Nate asked impatiently. You started to contemplate whether or not you wanted Nate to actually see you like that.
"Um... y-yes but it looks really stupid i'm gonna undress again-""No!" he almost yelled, startling you "Please let me see, I bet it looks good." he rolled his eyes, glad that you couldn't see him behind that door.
He liked that you weren't too confident or too sure of yourself and needed his reassurance, but he really wished you'd actually listen to him right now.
And then you finally opened the door "Come in.." and it really took everything in him to not rip the door open and gawk at you.
He gently opened the door and looked at you, his eyes wandering from your head, which was hung low as if in shame, to your exposed cleavage, to the way the stockings hugged your legs, to your shoes.
He had to control himself or else he'd pop a boner right here, right in front of you, because, god you looked so pretty. With the way your hands were fidgeting again just like the first time he saw you. You looked so shy and submissive under his gaze.
"You look so pretty..." he said in a serious tone, so serious in fact, that you immediately looked up at him. "Really? I feel kinda..." you didn't dare to finish the sentence.
The last time you called yourself fat in front of him, he almost lost it. He got just as serious as he was right now, saying that you looked fine and that there was absolutely nothing wrong with you.
Sure you weren't shaped like Maddy was, and you didn't have the perfect thigh gap, but Nate was aware that you were extremely pretty nonetheless. You were almost perfect, and everything that wasn't perfect would be taken care of.
Like your style.
This was a small step for him but a huge one for you, and it would be an even bigger step for you to dress like that on the daily, but he's sure he can help you with that.
"Seriously, you look absolutely.. wow." he added, and it only got you more flustered. Maybe dressing like this isn't so bad if Nate thinks it's pretty, hell even if he's the only who thinks so, his words affected you more than anything anyone at East Highland High could possibly say. "Wow.. Thank you.."
He cleared his throat and took a step closer, towering over you even more. "You obviously don't have to listen to me,” he lied “but... I personally think it looks better than your usual dark outfits." When you looked back into the mirror he continued "You shouldn't hide behind those… wide pants and loose tops, you should wear more outfits like this and show everyone how pretty you look."
When he saw you smile, he knew he had you where he wanted you. It wasn't just a forced smile, it was a real one, a flustered one. You loved that he found you pretty, even if you couldn't see it for yourself. And he knew how important his opinion was to you.
Hearing his compliments alone made you want to change your style a little, just so that he doesn't change his opinion. "You really think this fits me?" You asked one more time to make sure that he actually meant it.
He nodded eagerly placing his hands onto your shoulders "I promise." He felt like he could melt with the way you were looking up at him "I would never lie to you, you know that, right?" As if in trance you looked into his eyes and nodded.
"Yeah of course." You smiled up at him, feeling so small in front of him. "I'll try to check for cheaper options though, if you don't mind. Maybe something that isn't from an expensive boutique." you chuckled. He frowned instantly before responding "No, keep the outfit, I'll pay for it."
You shook your head right away, thinking back to the expensive things he had bought you already. "Nate, you need to stop spending so much money on me, I mean it. I highly doubt that i'm the only friend you spend that much money on."
Nate tried not to laugh at your statement. Of course you were the only person he spent that much money on.
As if he'd buy McKay, or any of his other 'friends' for that matter, anything above 10 bucks. "Y/n, I promise I’m not spending too much money." You wanted to believe him, but deep down you knew why Nate did all this.
Or at least you thought you did.
He was used to being used for money by his friends, there couldn't be another explanation, it had to be the reason. Why else would he feel the need to buy you, who he saw as his friend, so many expensive things?
"And also I kinda forced you to try it on, it's the right thing to do, trust me." You sighed shaking your head in disbelief "Fine, but you really don't have to, you know that?" He nodded as a smile made its way onto his lips.
He wished he could kiss you right now, but needless to say that wasn't possible yet. He couldn't wait for the day he would finally have you to himself, safe and happy with him. Walking next to you, with your hand in his, he could already imagine Cassie's and Maddy's faces when they see the two of you.
Nate wasn't blind nor oblivious, he saw the way Cassie eyed you like she wanted to murder you, or the way Maddy would shake her head whenever she looked at the two of you walking down the hallway.
Sure he had to come up with a plausible story before one of them could get to you without him noticing, and ruin his perfect plan. He honestly doesn't know what would happen to them if they decided to ruin his plan.
But that wasn't important right now.
What mattered was that you finally owned the perfect outfit, only because of him, and you’d only wear it for him too. You didn't even talk back or hesitate as much as he had expected.
Everything was going according to plan, and it was only a matter of time until you would cave in fully and listen to him all the time.
The next day you got ready for school, and decided to put on the outfit Nate had gotten you the day prior, but combined with a long cardigan to prevent you from flashing anyone at school.
Not to mention your mom who would probably freak out once she saw your outfit for school.
You brushed your hair, and put on the earrings Nate bought you previously. They were beautiful, dangling bows with a small diamond in the middle.
You told Nate he didn't have to buy them for you and that you'd find a cheaper variant online, but he insisted nonetheless.
You wondered what it would be like to be his girlfriend as you applied your lipstick.
Not that you'd actually ever be his girlfriend. He probably wouldn't even consider dating me.. was all you could think. And you also wouldn't ever consider actually dating him.
What if you'd have to move again? It wouldn't only break your heart, but his too.
"Y/n?" Your mom pulled you out of your thoughts as she stood in front of your now open door -because knocking was completely overrated anyways.
She gave you a disapproving look as her eyes moved up and down your frame. You hadn't put on the cardigan yet, so you could only assume what she's thinking. "What are you wearing?" She finally spoke.
You sighed as you looked down at your feet. "Mom I-" She immediately shook her head "Nate told you to wear this, didn't he?" You groaned in frustration, all hopes of avoiding any confrontation now gone.
Your mom scoffed at your lack of response. "Have you seen yourself? You look like..." You raised your head and looked at your mom "Like what?" She crossed her arms and sighed "Like someone else!"
You knew that this wasn't what came to her mind first, but decided not to comment on it. "No one forced me to wear this. I wanted to wear this." Your mom frowned, not believing you one bit.
And even if you wanted to go to school like that, she felt sick at the thought of all the boys seeing her daughter in such an outfit. "Get changed, right now." Was all she said before turning around and leaving your room.
You stomped after her "I'm going to be late to school if I change now!" you yelled as you followed her into the kitchen where your dad sat, completely unfazed by the argument which was taking place.
"That's your own fault, and don't yell at me like that." She responded, not even looking at you. "Mom, I'm not going to change."
She turned around once she grabbed her mug from the kitchen counter. "Oh but you are already. You are changing, because you would never wear something like this, especially not to school."
"Am I not allowed to change my style once in a while? You never approve of the way I dress anyways so why are you making a big deal out of this now?." She shook her head once again "You don't get it, y/n. You're... changing, as in ‘you’re becoming someone that you’re not’!" you scoffed in disbelief "I'm a teenager, of course I'm changing."
You turned away from your parents, and made your way to the hallway to put your shoes on. Once you reached your shoes you heard footsteps following you "You're really gonna go to school like that?" Your mom asked.
Once you slipped into one shoe you turned around and nodded. "You're grounded young lady, I hope you're aware of that." You slipped into the other shoe as you responded "I've been grounded my entire life, mom. Try harder." you said as you pushed past her to get your backpack.
Your mother just stood in the hallway, completely baffled. But before she could think of anything to say, you left the house already. Quickly making your way to Nate's truck.
Nate loved picking you up from home.
He wished you'd let him pick you up anywhere anytime, no matter where you were, but you only let him pick you up when you both had the same lessons in the morning.
He had told you that he'd pick you up even if you started earlier than him, but you immediately brushed it off.
Once you saw him your frown disappeared and you tried to smile again.
But Nate noticed. He always noticed when you were frowning, and when he saw your outfit he could already imagine what or specifically who made you frown.
To say that Nate disliked your parents would be an understatement. Whenever he would come over to your place, your mom would eye him and make snarky remarks.
Not only that, but she would sometimes enter your room -without knocking of course- every ten minutes to check on you, always with some sort of excuse as to why, just to make sure that the two of you weren't doing anything she would disapprove of.
He couldn't even hug you goodbye when he'd leave because when he did it once, your mom eyed him as if he was hurting you.
And your dad? He didn't know if he hated him even more.
He was barely there when Nate came over, and whenever you'd talk about him you would complain about him never caring about your arguments with your mom. He simply stayed out of it until it would annoy him, then he'd simply tell his wife to 'calm down' and that you 'shouldn't overreact'
And if you still wouldn't stop fighting with her, he'd simply get up and smoke outside or drive off to god knows where.
Having an overbearing mother and an absent father didn't do you any good, he'd gladly just have you move in with him, but his dad was probably even worse to live with than yours was.
"Everything alright?" Nate asked once you stepped inside the car, put your seatbelt on and sighed. You nodded, not looking at him "My mom's just mad at me because I'm wearing this to school today.." you explained as you fidgeted with your skirt.
That's when you noticed that you totally forgot to put on your cardigan in the heat of the moment. You mentally face palmed, knowing that you'd have to walk around like that without being able to hide at least a little bit of your body.
Nate nodded as he started the car. "I'm sorry to hear that... She’s always picking fights with you for no reason..." You nodded as you looked out of the passenger's window.
He looked at your thighs, which were just slightly on display, and fuck he would do everything just to touch them.
He decided to test the waters and reassuringly placed his hand on your thigh. You flinched slightly, not expecting the sudden gesture, but you didn't react in any way, which relieved him a lot.
"Don't be too hard on yourself, yeah? You can always come to my place or call me and I'll be there to pick you up and get your mind off things, alright?" You nodded with a soft smile on your lips.
You slowly turned back to him "Where have you been all my life? I would've needed you way sooner." Nate tried to contain his happiness.
You telling him you needed him, letting him touch your thigh and wearing his outfit? He was sure that he was the happiest man alive right now.
"Yeah, I also wish I could've been there sooner. But I'm here now, and I'm not gonna leave again." he assured. You placed your hand atop his on your thigh and nodded "Thank you.."
Everything was going so so well, until this Jake guy from your arts class decided to speak to you. He must've seen you with Nate, the two of you were almost inseparable after all. Did he have a death wish or something?
The way he looked at you as well, it made him sick.
You didn't even notice it, you were your usual friendly self, telling him something Nate couldn't make out from his seat, two rows behind the two of you. But it couldn't have possibly been funny enough for him to laugh so hard, that he had to place his hand on your shoulder for support.
He never cared much about Jake, never even talked to the guy, but he'd love to beat the shit out of him right now. Only stopping when you tell him to.
But based on your personality, you'd probably stop him right away.
Nate had more than enough however, when the guy still had his hand on your shoulder after ten seconds.
Nate got up, the sound of the chair scraping along the tiles on the floor so loud, that both you and Jake turned around right away.
Nate stared daggers into Jake as he made his way to the two of you, resulting in Jake's eyes widening slightly and him finally removing his hand from your shoulder "Move." was all Nate needed to say for Jake to smile at you one last time before immediately getting up and walking to his friend's desk.
You frowned at Nate not sure what had gotten into him. "Are you mad? Is everything okay?" You asked, worry evident on your face.
He was more than happy that you reacted this way and didn't ask him what the fuck was wrong with him for scaring the poor guy like that.
He shook his head before smiling "Everything's fine don't worry.. Jake's just really flirty with every girl that he sees, I just wanted to protect you." he reasoned.
You frowned, not aware that Jake has ever flirted with any girls in your classes, or you to begin with. He just seemed friendly, but you brushed it off nonetheless, knowing that Nate probably knew him better than you did.
"Wait, you’ve never had a boyfriend?" Nate asked in feigned disbelief, as you two sat in his living room after school one day. You shook your head in response as you waited for Nate to laugh at you.
Except, he didn't.
It only made him happier that you finally confirmed his theory.
He didn't expect you to have any ex-partners, since you told him you never really socialized or had stable friendships with anyone in the past.
He figured you also hadn't been in a relationship as well then. But your confirmation only made him happier. And you didn't seem like the type to just sleep with the next best boy you meet so he figured you also must be a virgin.
And he was eating it up.
Whenever he'd jerk himself off, he’d think about you and how fucking amazing you'd feel around him. How shy you would be in front of him once you two got intimate for the first time.
And after every time he came, he craved you even more. It took everything within him to refrain from picking you up and carrying you in his bed whenever you came over.
But he always told himself that the wait would be worth it.
He'd wait just for you, no matter how long it'd take.
"I just never got to form that kind of connection with anyone, since I barely talk to people.." You said as you played with the hem of your red sundress.
Yeah, you also started wearing dresses.
You told yourself that Nate wasn't the reason for it, but you knew that without him, you would have never considered wearing them in the first place.
You saw the way he looked at that one cheerleader, during one of his games last week and despite the fact that you never wanted to date him, you couldn't help but feel the urge to be... perfect in front of him.
Nate also noticed that.
Before, you'd just wear your baggy jeans to school, preferring comfort over style. But ever since last week, you seemed to constantly wear dresses and skirts.
Not only that, but you also did your best to appeal to him. You wore more make up, you shaved your arms despite not being too hairy to begin with. You pout so much effort into looking even more beautiful than you were already.
He wasn't sure why though, because he didn't push you that much after you went to the boutique. He was praying that you only do it for him and not to impress any other boy at school though.
"Besides, it's useless anyways. Who knows when my father is gonna move again.." You said, suddenly feeling sad as you thought about your life without Nate.
Nate considered that as well.
He didn't like the idea at all and he'd do anything to stop that from happening. To stop your parents from taking you away from him.
Hell, he'd buy you a flat somewhere if he has to, or have you move in with him if that's what it took.
Nate took your hand in his, brushing his thumb over your knuckles "Hey, don't think about that alright? We'll find a solution if that should happen." he said reassuringly.
You nodded, a small smile on your face. You loved it when Nate was affectionate. You seemed to be the only person he was genuinely nice to.
"What about you though? I bet you had plenty of relationships." You grinned, his hand still comfortably wrapped around yours.
Nate chuckled "Yeah I didn't have that many relationships, but the ones I had were… intense." He answered "Oh, that bad?" you asked as you frowned at him.
He was more than glad you asked, because now he could finally tell you about Maddy and Cassie in a subtle way.
Once he was done, you’d never even consider believing them.
He nodded in response "Yeah... I was with Maddy for a pretty long time, do you know her?" he asked, hoping to find out whether she's talked to you or not.
You thought for a moment before nodding your head. "I think she's in one of my classes. Maddy... Perez?" Nate nodded, swallowing hard.
He was hoping you didn't know her, praying that the both of you never cross paths. But that was hopeless considering how popular she was.
"She's.. definitely something." You chuckled dryly as you couldn't help but compare yourself to her.
You didn't stand a chance with Nate if that's his type.
You always thought she was really pretty, and since she was on the cheerleading team, you knew she must be popular too. You always saw her with her group of friends and you admired her style, her beauty, her confidence, everything.
But she always seemed to give you weird looks and now you could imagine why. She probably was still in love with Nate, and didn’t like him having female friends.
Nate noticed the smile on your face falter just a slight bit, and he could only assume that she must've treated you badly that bitch, always causing fucking problems
"What do you mean?" You shrugged, unsure of how to explain it "She just... She's really pretty and I like her style. I wanted to compliment her before but she always gives me this look." You responded, your gaze locked onto the carpet.
Nate frowned at the thought of her.
How dare she even look your way? And how dare she make you feel uncomfortable? He could imagine why she was looking at you though, probably annoyed by how much time you and him spend, and how obedient you were already.
Something she could never do.
"But maybe I'm just imagining things, I might be a bit paranoid.. She's really pretty though, I bet the two of you looked great together.." Nate cringed at your words.
He couldn’t stand her, and the thought of everything he did for her, despite her acting like a bitch all the time, made his blood boil. The sound of her voice alone gave him chills, reminding him of how often she’d yell at him in front of her friends.
He's sure that you and him would look way better together.
"I'm honestly glad we're not together anymore.. She was awfully mean, and just so ungrateful." he sighed as he looked to the ground. "She constantly blamed me for everything when she was clearly at fault, fuck, she even..."
You weren't sure if you've seen Nate so vulnerable before, so hurt and all because of that girl. "…She even cheated on me at a party, in front of everyone, just because we had an argument." your eyes widened.
You did not expect Maddy to be such a bad person. Especially to someone like Nate, he seemed like he'd give his all to the person he loves. He was giving you his all and you weren't even his girlfriend.
You removed your hand from his, and scooted closer to him, wrapping your arm around his firm back and leaning your head against his arm. "I'm so sorry Nate.. you didn't deserve that.." You said as you stroked his back.
Nate suddenly got goosebumps, not expecting you to hug him like that. He was convinced he deserved an oscar for that performance, that's for sure. He leaned into your touch, enjoying how close he was to you, and the sweet scent of your perfume.
"It's alright... I got over it eventually. Sometimes people just disappoint you and you have to learn to live with it." he responded.
Which was an absolute fucking lie.
He still wanted to hurt her for humiliating him like that back at the pool, and he also still prays for her downfall and a chance to humiliate her just as bad.
You lifted your head and looked at him "We don't have to speak about her anymore if you don't want to. I'll even slap her for you if you want." you said half jokingly.
You'd never purposefully hurt anyone, or risk being the center of attention at school. But you just wanted to see Nate happy. He seemed so sad right now and even if he said he's over it, you knew he wasn't.
Nate chuckled before wrapping his arm around your shoulder and pulling you flat against his chest "There's no need for that. I'm just glad that you're here right now, you're all I need." He said as he stroked your shoulder.
You tried not to freak out.
The fact that he held you so close and literally told you that you're all he needed made you feel things, you didn't want to feel.
You didn't want to feel like he liked you more than just in a platonic way. You didn't want to get your hopes up, hell you didn't even want to have a crush on him.
You were so sure that you didn't have a chance, especially when he told you who his ex girlfriend was, but then why did he treat you like that? Why did he tell you you were all he needed?
“Do you also know Cassie, by chance?” he asked after a moment of silence. You thought for a moment, before shaking your head. He sighed, both in relief and in annoyance as he remembered her.
“Cassie and I also used to date. But she turned into an absolute psycho after some time. She was totally obsessed with me…” Nate explained before he sighed. “If she ever talks to you, tell me, alright? Same with Maddy, don’t talk to any of them.” he added suddenly very serious.
You nodded in response “What exactly did she do..? If you don’t mind me asking.” You asked carefully, since it seemed to be a touchy subject for him.
“She was.. possessive, unpredictable, and insecure. I was scared of her sometimes I can’t even lie... She just has this insane look in her eyes, at first I didn’t notice it but as our relationship progressed, I couldn’t ignore it anymore.”
Your eyes widened once again. If she really was that possessive over Nate, what if she thinks you two are together? Would she actually hurt you? You swallowed hard at the thought.
Nate observed your reaction, taking notice of how pale you became suddenly He didn't mean to scare you, but he had to warn you, in order to protect you from both of them.
"Jeez, that's... actually scary." you chuckled dryly, not sure how to react to the newfound information. "Don't worry though, I'll protect you from them, you got nothing to worry about." he said as he looked at you longingly.
Would it be too soon to ask you to be his now?
Probably the wrong moment to ask you, since he just told you about his crazy ex girlfriends. But he didn't want to wait any longer, he couldn't wait much longer.
Not when his need for you became stronger and stronger.
Sure, being your friend and spending time with you was amazing. You were sweet, funny and you wouldn't refuse him a thing. But it wasn't enough for him, not really.
He needed to act soon, because it frustrated him more and more each day. Nate just had to catch you talking to a boy from your class and it made him furious.
Not to mention how sexually frustrated he was.
His hand was not enough to satisfy him anymore, he craved so much more and that only caused him to be insufferable at times, unable to relax and always in a bad mood.
He really tried his hardest not to lash out on you like he did on McKay or his teammates. He was sure that if Cassie dared to approach him or you he'd absolutely lose his shit.
“Didn’t know you were home yet.”
You and Nate turned towards the person who just entered the living room in unison. It was Nate’s brother Aaron.
Great.
Nate rolled his eyes and sighed. Why was he home already? “Yeah, school ended earlier today.” He replied drily. He did not want Aaron to interact with you in any way, since he knew how off putting he could be.
“Let’s go,” Nate got up as he looked at you with a cold expression. You knew not to ask any questions when he got like this, so you just nodded and got up from the sofa.
“Woah, who are you? New girlfriend?” Your eyes widened as you laughed nervously “Oh, n-no we’re just really good friends.” You stated as you smiled at his brother.
And it bothered Nate so much. Why were you smiling at him? He knew you only wanted to be polite, but it bothered him because Aaron wasn’t worthy of your politeness or smile.
He wanted to be the only guy you smile at, even though that’s basically impossible with how fucking nice you were.
Aaron smiled back at you, as he playfully tilted his head to the side “That’s surprising, d’you have a boyfriend already?” He asked before he looked you up and down “Because you’re definitely Nate’s type.”
The room fell silent for a moment, mostly because you didn’t know what to say to that at all, and because Nate tried his hardest not to turn into an aggressive asshole in front of you.
You once again chuckled nervously, before you swallowed the lump in your throat, feeling like your heart would jump out any moment. “Um… I don’t have a boyfriend and I’m sure that I’m not Nate’s type.”
You didn’t even know why you said the last part, because you could tell that Nate was fuming more and more with each word you said to him. Before Aaron could respond, Nate did “Alright enough, Aaron, we’ll head upstairs now if you don’t mind.”
Aaron sighed exaggeratedly “That’s too bad, I really enjoyed the company of…?” he said as he looked towards you now “Y/n.” You responded, and Aaron nodded “Y/n, go ahead, you know where my room is.” Nate commanded.
You really wish it didn’t, but his demanding tone and sudden change of persona really did something to you. It excited you in a way.
You nodded and walked towards the hallway, where Aaron was standing. Before you could pass him though, he moved in front of you, looking down at you with a predatory grin “You know, if Nate doesn’t want you, I’d be totally down-”
Your eyes widened in response as you heard Nate stomping towards the two of you.
Nate had more than enough by now, “Shut the fuck up already!” He almost yelled. Aaron chuckled “I was just joking around why’re you so mean in front of your cute little friend?” He mocked before smirking at you again.
Nate turned towards you, this time even more irritated “Go upstairs, now.” You gulped and finally moved towards the stairs again, quickly making your way up.
You were sitting on Nate’s bed as you could hear his deep voice downstairs and you were sure he’d actually beat his brother up. You couldn’t make out what he was saying except for a very loud “Stay the fuck away from her!”
You didn’t have to wait for long until Nate entered the room, slamming the door shut behind him. He eyed you with a mixture of possessiveness and longing but also with a hint of softness.
His mind was currently occupied with fantasies about fucking you on his bed, while you moan about how good he feels, and how he’s the only one you need, while his brother is forced to listen to your moans that echo through the entire house. Knowing he could never be lucky enough to be in his spot.
He wondered if you’d be into that? If you had this corrupt side that no one knew about. Maybe you fantasized about him as well?
“Sorry about my brother, he’s a fucking asshole.” Nate stated as he walked towards you. “I hope he didn’t make you feel too uncomfortable..” He added as his gaze softened.
You shook your head, your signature smile on your lips “No, don’t worry. Are you okay though? I hope you guys didn’t fight too hard..”
He loved how considerate you were despite everything that happened. Despite Nate being somewhat rude to you earlier, and his brother making you uncomfortable, you still cared for Nate.
“No, not much more than we usually do, don’t worry.” He sighed as he plopped down on the bed next to you. “Wanna watch a movie?” He asked as he tilted his head to the side. You smiled and nodded in response.
Nate turned his TV on and grabbed the remote before he plopped down onto his bed again. He scooted towards you, wrapping his arm around you and you could’ve sworn you’ve never felt more at peace than in moments like these. Nestled against him, comfortably on his bed.
And Nate felt the same way, if not even more at peace.
You were his escape from his fucked up family just as much as he was yours, and you were the only one he truly cared for besides himself. He couldn’t wait until he could finally call you his.
In his eyes you were his already, from the moment he first laid eyes on you. And he’s come so far, molded you into perfection. There’s no way he’d let you go.
All that was left now, was to make you officially his.
✎ Thank you so so so much for reading I hope you liked it :3 again don’t be shy to give me honest feedback, likes and reblogs are appreciated!! ♡
- Cassandra
#nate jacobs#nate jacobs imagine#jacob elordi imagine#euphoria#euphoria imagine#nate jacobs x reader#nate jacobs scenario#nate euphoria#nate jacobs x y/n#nate jacobs x you#nate jacobs smut#jacob elordi x reader#jacob elordi x you#jacob elordi x y/n
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Right Person, Right Time - Spencer Reid
pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader (no use of y/n)
part three of mini series: Casual, butterfly effect
There is a BAU celebration at David's house and Spencer invites you as his plus one so you can formally meet the team.
word count: ~2.1k
content: fluff! sickly sweet fluff i was kicking my feet and giggling while writing this!
dividers by @firefly-graphics
now playing: Right Person, Right Time by Leanna Firestone <3
“Hey, are you okay?” Spencer asked, leaning down a bit to kiss the bare part of your neck that he could access at the moment. Spencer practically wrapped himself around you from behind after helping you out of the car before the two of you were to head up the drive to the mansion of a home in front of you and it helped you relax a bit, but you guessed that he could still sense something off in your behavior.
“I’m just nervous is all…” you replied, busying your hands by messing with the clasp of the clutch you had chosen to match your dress for the night.
“What’s making you nervous?” he asked, voice just as soft as the hold he had on your waist.
“Meeting your coworkers…” you admitted in a sort of hushed whisper as you tried to control your building anxiety toward the impending moment you were to cross the threshold of the home and formally meet the BAU team. “Their first impression of me wasn’t exactly my best moment and I’m just scared that they’ll judge me for it…”
“I assure you they won’t, they’re actually really excited to meet you,” Spencer said as he pulled your body closer to his. “But if you ever feel uncomfortable at all tonight, just tell me and we’ll head home, okay?”
“Okay,” you whispered, nodding your head as a small smile made its way onto your lips.
“Are you ready?” Spencer asked as he slowly unfurled himself from around your body.
“Ready as I’ll ever be,” you affirmed, lacing your fingers in his as the two of you approached the door.
When you got to the door and Spencer rang the bell, your nerves began to rise and you felt your heart begin to pound wildly in your chest, feeling like it was threatening to escape its cage at any moment. The door opened to reveal a jovial looking Italian man who greeted the both of you cheerfully, placing a kiss on both of your cheeks as if he had known you since you were a little girl. The gesture put a smile on your face and you began to feel less nervous as you offered him a gift bag you had brought that contained a bottle of fine wine that Maddie assured you would impress him.
He took the bottle out from the bag and examined it, a smile on his face as he said, “Ciacci Piccolomini d'Aragona, a fine choice young lady! I’ve been meaning to get my hands on a bottle of this! Thank you!”
“Of course, thank you for opening up your home to us,” you told him graciously, your gaze darting around the beautiful home as he guided you and Spencer into the area where the rest of the BAU members were milling about chatting amongst themselves.
When the three of you emerged into the area, eyes were instantly on you and they weighed heavily, causing your own to dart down to the floor as your grip on Spencer’s hand tightened. Your heart thudded hard in your ears, so much so that you barely heard Spencer announce, “Everyone, I’d like you to meet my girlfriend.” You looked up to him for a sense of comfort and you got it as he told the team your name in one of the fondest tones you had ever heard him speak in before planting a kiss on your forehead to seal the deal even further.
Your nerves began to decrease further as each member of the team in turn came to introduce themself warmly, without an ounce of judgment in their eyes or voice as they did. The only exception to your lessening anxiety was when Derek finally approached you with a look in his eyes that you couldn’t quite read because you once again averted your eyes as he approached you. They finally looked back up toward his face when he gently said your name and in the most sincere and remorseful voice told you, “I’m sorry for coming off as rude the first few times we encountered each other.” His tone turned into more of a teasing one as he gently punched Spencer’s arm and added, “It’s no excuse on my part, but I was just happy that pretty boy here was getting some!” His tone returned to seriousness as he addressed you again, saying, “It was uncalled for though, and I’m sorry for how it made you feel. I hope you can forgive me.”
Before you could respond, Penelope joined in on the conversation, chipperly saying, “Oh look at you being all sweet and apologizing!” She leaned closer to you and said in an almost conspiratory voice, “I was rooting for you the whole time! Call it friend intuition or what have you, but from the moment I saw you two together at the bar I knew things would work out!”
You let out a quiet laugh at her words and leaned into Spencer’s embrace as you told the pair, “Thank you. I’m happy things worked out as well as they did.”
Before the conversation could go any further, your lovely host reemerged into the area and clapped his hands together as he announced, “All right, I hope everyone is hungry! Tonight is carbonara a la Rossi paired with a beautiful wine courtesy of the lovely future Mrs. Reid.” He ended the statement with a wink in your direction that had you blushing and burying your face into Spencer’s shoulder as he chuckled.
“Oh come on David, don’t embarrass the girl so soon!” Emily jokingly chastised him as the group began migrating to the kitchen to dig into the meal.
As everyone served themselves and sat down, Spencer asked David something quietly and the older man nodded before heading back into the kitchen and returning with a bottle of white wine that he placed beside you along with a glass. “Reds aren’t for everyone, I understand,” he told you, gently squeezing your shoulder as Spencer grabbed the bottle and began opening it to pour you a glass.
“Thank you, you really didn’t have to accommodate me like that though, I wouldn’t want to put you out of your collection,” you rambled apologetically as you eyed the expensive looking bottle in Spencer’s hands.
“What’s a good wine for if not for sharing?” David asked, giving you a warm smile before he made his way to his seat at the head of the table to begin the meal.
By the end of the meal you were on your second glass of deliciously smooth and sweet white wine and had finished your pasta, telling David, “I think this is hands down the best pasta I’ve ever had!”
“Why thank you, sweetheart,” he replied with a chuckle. Just as your attention was being taken away by JJ asking you a question about your job, you could have sworn you saw David mouth to Spencer ‘I love her’ which made your heart soar as you felt Spencer’s hand squeeze your thigh right as he did.
Later that evening after dessert and another few glasses of wine, you had your legs draped over Spencer’s lap as you lounged in the living room, deep in conversation with Derek about the latest NFL season. Derek’s laugh rang throughout the room as he persisted in his playful argument with you, saying, “Nuh uh, your Chiefs got nothing on my Bears! We’re set up for the playoffs while the Chiefs are having one of the worst seasons in the NFL!”
“Just you wait! One day they’ll be Super Bowl Champs!” you retaliated with a giggle falling from your lips.
“No way! With their record lately, I’d be surprised if they’re even a team come next season!” Derek teased.
“Oh bite me!” you said with a playful roll of your eyes.
“Nah, you’ve got pretty boy to do that for you,” he said as he sent a wink in Spencer’s direction.
You pulled yourself forward and hung your arms around Spencer’s neck and sent him pleading eyes as you said, “Come on, Spence, back me up here!”
Spencer shook his head as he chuckled and told you, “I love you, but I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about.” He leaned into you and kissed you quickly before adding, “But you look damn good so I say you’re winning here.”
“Why thank you,” you said matter-of-factly before giving him another kiss back, earning a wolf whistle from Derek.
After parting ways from David’s house and once more telling everyone how good it was to meet them, you and Spencer had made your way back to his apartment for the evening. You giggled as you held onto Spencer for balance, your heels and the wine in your system doing no favors for your coordination. “Did you have a good night?” Spencer asked as he unlocked the door and guided you inside, leading you to the couch and helping you out of your heels.
“Mmm, I did,” you told him, a lazy smile on your face as you momentarily closed your eyes.
“Are you ready for bed?” he asked with a chuckle, his voice a bit far off as you assumed he was putting your shoes in their place by the door.
“I wanna dance,” you told him.
“You want to dance?” Spencer asked with a bit of humor in his voice as he helped you to stand.
“Yes, I wanna slow dance with you,” you told him while gesturing to the record player on the table nearby.
“Then slow dance we shall,” he replied as he let go of you temporarily in order to flick through his record collection to choose the perfect one for the occasion. When you heard the tell-tale crackling of the record starting up, Spencer was back in your arms and telling you, “But just a fair warning I’m not much of a dancer.”
“Neither am I, I just want to be in your arms,” you told him as the beginning notes to The Way You Look Tonight by Frank Sinatra began playing.
So the two of you swayed in each other’s arms to each song on the first side of the Sinatra record. Spencer occasionally twirled you around slowly with the biggest smile on his face before pulling you into a kiss. When the record stopped spinning, you let out a tired yawn and leaned into Spencer’s chest as you closed your eyes contently.
“How about we get ready for bed?” Spencer offered quietly which made you startle back into consciousness that you didn’t even realize you faded out of.
Rather than replying verbally, you simply nodded and held Spencer’s hand as he guided you into the bathroom where the two of you brushed your teeth and he helped you with as much of your skin routine as he could before you were already nodding off once more. Getting you out of your dress and into a nightgown was a bit of an easier task for Spencer and he got you comfortable in the bed before he began changing into his night clothes too.
Right before Spencer could pull back the covers and join your already sleeping form, his phone began to ring with a video call from his mother. He quickly answered the call as he exited the bedroom and greeted his mom with a warm smile and a, “Hey Mom, is everything okay?”
“You look disgustingly smitten, Spencer. Did you meet someone?” Diana asked as her form of greeting to her son.
Spencer chuckled as he grabbed a glass to fill with water, nodding to his mother and telling her your name once again and how he had taken you to meet the team today and then slow danced in his living room to Frank Sinatra. “I’m really happy, Mom,” he told her fondly as he sat down on the couch. “Before I met her I always thought that love had passed me by and that there was something wrong with me. I always wondered what about myself I could change to be more appealing to others but then she came into my life and she makes me love who I am. I swear she’s like sunshine in human form and I can’t wait for you to meet her.”
“I can’t wait to meet the lucky girl,” she agreed. “When you know, you know, and I can see it in your eyes that you do.”
Spencer nodded, telling her, “That I do.”
After Diana ended the video call with Spencer a little while later, he made his way back into the bedroom and snuck under the covers to be with you. Even asleep you gravitated toward him, your legs intertwining with his and your face snuggling into his chest as a small smile made its way onto your lips. Letting out a content sigh, Spencer kissed your forehead and closed his eyes, feeling like the happiest man on earth in that moment.
a/n: omg y'all i'm sad to see this couple go they were so fun to write! but here she is! the final part of the Casual mini series! it was fun getting to know this Reader as she introduced herself to me and gosh, i think this part was one of the fluffiest things i've ever written and i'm here for it!
as always, likes and comments are appreciated! xo, brooke <3
ps can i just say how much i love the gif up top? he just looks so cute and happy! i have heart eyes looking at him!
taglists:
general: @reidmarieprentiss
casual: @princess-ofthe-pages @spicyspirit @misserabella @lillianacristina @lullvu @theylovemelody
Spencer: @i-live-in-spite
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Buck sat at the kitchen island with his chin resting on his hand, watching Tommy pour ingredients into a bowl. It's been a week since he finally ended his keto diet and Tommy wanted to bake him a cake– to make up for not getting cake at the medal ceremony back then he said. Buck knew it was really Tommy wanting him try his baking for the first time.
As Tommy began mixing what was in the bowl—and if Buck paid extra attention to the way his arms moved and his hand gripped the spoon that was no ones business but his own—Buck blurted out the question that had been on his mind before Tommy became distracting. "What's five things you like about me?"
Tommy looked at him, eyebrow raised and never pausing his mixing. "Your eyes, smile, personality, the way you store all these facts in your brain, and your big heart."
Buck ducked his head slightly with a blush, a smile across his face. "Okay, what are four things I like?"
"Documentaries, Bobby's barbecues because everyone you love is there, cooking, when we go to the shelter and Lainey let's you go out into the yard to play with all the dogs."
"Three things I look good in?" Buck asked with a grin, leaning forward on his arms now.
"Your turnouts, sweats–" Tommy gave him a cheeky grin and Buck flushed thinking of the first time Tommy saw him in them, "And my arms." He finished with a wink, causing a goofy smile to form on Buck's face. That was his favorite place to be.
"What are two things I do a lot and don't notice?"
"Here can you finish mixing this while I get the pan and oven ready?" Tommy asked, handing him the bowl. Buck didn't hesitate to listen, mixing as he responded. "You use your hands a lot, and you steal the covers every night-"
"No I don't!"
"Oh you do, but it means I just have to cuddle you." Tommy teased, pulling a pan out from one of the cabinets.
Buck grumbled a you should be anyway under his breath making Tommy fondly roll his eyes before continuing. "What's one thing you would change about me?"
"Your last name."
Cake batter flew off the spoon and onto the surface of the island. Buck froze, mouth hanging open staring at Tommy who looked casual smiling at Buck like those three words didn't leave his mouth with no hesitation.
"Wh-" Buck swallowed, "What?"
Tommy slid the bowl away from him and leaned close. "I'm not picky on which way, hyphenate with whichever name first, drop Buckley and be Kinard, doesn't matter to me."
"You- you want to marry me?" Buck said sounding breathless, looking stunned but in wonder at the same time.
Tommy put two fingers under his chin, leaning closer to kiss him. "Evan, I'd fly us to Vegas today and marry you."
"It's- It's only been six months-" Buck's lips lifted into a smile. "But...I'd marry you too."
+Alternate ending or bonus (your choice)
"Is that a ring?!" Chimney said so loudly when he greeted Buck and spotted the ring, that it seemed the whole firehouse was looking.
Buck smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck, holding his hand out that Hen quickly grabbed to inspect. "Uh yeah...surprise? Tommy and I went to Vegas!"
"Buck!" Hen looked at him in shock, before her face turned into a smile and a laugh bubbled out. "How am I surprised but not at the same time?"
"Oh come on! I was supposed to be your best man!" Eddie scowled, but still leaned in for a hug, a big pat on Buck's back.
"We're going to have an actual ceremony later with everyone, you can be best man then!"
"Maddie is going to be pissed, if she wasn't still working her double shift to cover for Josh I'd tell you to call her immediately!"
"Especially because you're about to burst keeping it a secret already?" Hen looked Chimney over who was bouncing on the heels of his feet, he gave her a 'what do you think?' look but didn't respond.
"Uh actually...Maddie already knows." Buck said slowly, bracing himself just in case.
"What?!"
"She didn't actually have a shift..." He took out his phone, showing them a picture of them both in rented suits, and Maddie in a dress between them beaming with pride.
"Oh that is sneaky! I'm both offended and proud at the same time!" Chimney took out his phone and walked off without another word.
Hen offered a congratulations with a chuckle before following after her best friend who was on the phone arm waving like crazy. Eddie glanced over at Bobby and mumbled a 'we'll talk later' before heading towards the stairs. Buck looked at Bobby who hadn't said a word, anxiety growing.
"Bobby I-"
Buck cut off as Bobby pulled him into a hug. He sighed out in relief and returned the hug, Bobby squeezing him a little tighter before pulling away. "I'm proud of you kid, you've come a long way."
"I- I kind of expected someone to make a comment on how early it is for us-"
Bobby laughed. "Athena and I waited less time than you two did, I have no right to judge you on that." His gaze softened. "And anyone paying attention could see that what you two have is real, you're different with him in a way you've never been before Buck, and while I didn't see Tommy for years I can tell you've changed him for the better. Congratulations kid, but now you have some paperwork to take care of."
Buck groaned, shoulders slumping as he followed a laughing Bobby to his office.
But even that didn't stop the wide grin on his face when he wrote Kinard on the paperwork.
#bucktommy#evan buckley#tevan#tommy kinard#kinley#911 abc#I love the idea of them going to vegas and getting married tbh#mostly cause it could be so much fun#from a text conversation I saw on pinterest#911 fic
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A Painful First
Part 1 | Beneath the Surface
Warnings: First Period, Endometriosis, Bleeding Through, Mentions of Nausea, Pain
Notes: This is Part 1 to my new mini series Beneath the Surface, honestly kind of nervous about posting this but anyway here it is. I don't know how good this part is but it is more for setting the scene etc. I am currently in the process of writing the next parts, but I feel like they are much better. Hopefully I got everything pretty accurate, let me know what you think x
You were a Foord, your Mum was Maddie Foord, one of the physios for the Matildas and Arsenal. She was engaged to Leah, who you now lived with, and Leah was almost like your second Mum, you just hadn’t spent much time with her, between her busy schedule and your school and swimming there wasn’t much time spare for you two to spend bonding, meaning when you found out that Leah wasn’t going on international break because of her hamstring and that you could decide between staying or going to Australia, you decided to stay in London so you could get to know her better, Caitlin was sad that you weren't coming on camp and she told you she would miss you so much, but she understood your choice.
Staying in London also meant you could continue your rigorous swim training schedule which with the Aquatics GB Champs coming up in a few months was important to you.
You had a cramping pain before you fell asleep that night however you didn't think much of it, you had been having these random cramping pains often for the past few months, so you just ignored it as usual and fell asleep after messaging your Mum good night.
A few hours later you awoke to a stabbing pain in your abdomen, you brought your knees to your chest in hopes of easing the pain, the action causing you to notice a weird stickiness between your legs, you quickly stood up and noticed a patch of blood on your sheets, and a wave of panic ran through you, this wasn’t meant to happen this way, and your Mum wasn’t here, you didn’t want Leah to find out, you quickly made your way into the bathroom and called your Mum.
-
“Mum,” you said nervously through the phone as she picked up.
“What’s wrong bubs?”
“I um, it-” you puffed out.
“Bubs, take a breath for me and then try again,”
“I um, I think I started my period and I bleed on the sheets and I don’t know what to do and I don’t want to wake Leah up and I don’t want her to see the blood on the sheets and-”
“Bubs, it’s okay Leah isn’t going to judge you, she loves you just as much as I do, I’m sorry I’m not there right now but I promise you Leah will take very good care of you,” Your Mum told you, as she sent Leah a message.
“How am I meant to tell her though? I-, It’s gross and embarrassing,” unbeknownst to you Leah was currently in your room stripping your sheets and putting fresh ones on your bed, she was not disgusted at all and if anything felt slightly bad for you knowing how you would prefer your Mum to be there over her.
“Bubs, it happens to everyone, it’s okay, it's not your fault, how do you feel though? Like physically?”
“Okay, it doesn’t hurt that much,” that was a complete lie, your back ached, your stomach felt like someone was sitting on it whilst you were being stabbed and you felt sick, but she was all the way in Australia, you didn’t want to worry her, and every girl got periods, you were probably just over reacting. You heard a soft knock at your bathroom door and knew exactly who it was.
“Bubs, that will be Leah and I’m sorry but I really have to go now, let Leah in, she will help you, and I promise I’ll call you later,”
“Okay, love you,” you said before hanging up and opening the door to Leah, immediately looking down at your feet.
“Hey, there is no need to be embarrassed, it’s okay, it happens to everyone, it happens to me more than I’d like to admit,” Leah tried reassuring you, you just nodded nervously.
“I got you this, it’s going to be bigger than most, but it’s all we have, and none of the shops are open currently so I can’t go out and get some for you. But it’s okay, because tomorrow morning the first thing I’ll do is go to the shops and buy you some supplies, and then if you like we could spend the day watching movies together and just relaxing,” you nodded shyly at Leah before she continued, “Have a shower, get cleaned up, and call out for me if you need anything, I’ve changed the sheets on your bed but if you would prefer you are more than welcome to come into our bed and sleep in there with me if you want,” you nodded again before Leah left the bathroom giving you the privacy to do what you needed to do.
“Le, is it meant to hurt this bad?” You asked the blonde as you walked towards where she sat on the couch, having returned from the bathroom, tears pricking in your eyes, this was your second day of having your period and you hated how you couldn’t do anything because of the pain. Just as you took another step towards the couch a sharp pain shot down your back and you grabbed onto the back of the couch for support, before a few tears rolled down your cheeks. Leah was quickly up and on her feet, wrapping her arms around you to support you before gently and slowly guiding you to the spot on the couch where the both of you were sitting just before, she sat down before allowing you to make yourself comfortable.
“You good?” Leah asked as you finally settled, hoping you found a comfortable position, which you had sort of done so. You were curled up into a ball as you rested against Leah’s side, your head on her shoulder as her arm now wrapped around your back. She used her other hand to wipe away your tears that had fallen before she let out a slight sigh.
“To answer your question, no, it shouldn’t hurt this bad. There is actually something your Mum and I think we should talk about, and we thought having the conversation with just me might make you more comfortable, but I want you to know before I start that if you feel uncomfortable or want me to stop at any time just say so and I will, and if you have a question at any stage just interrupted me okay. What you’re experiencing currently isn’t normal and you shouldn’t be in this much pain, it could just be a bad period however it may also be something else, your Mum and I were talking and we think you could possibly have endometriosis, it’s what I have and a lot of your symptoms are similar to mine,”
“But you’re not couch ridden on your period,” you commented, causing Leah to have to stifle a laugh.
“I’m not normally no, but there are sometimes when I can’t do anything and I’ve known about it now for a little while so I know what helps me and I’ve got medication to help too. But do you know what endometriosis is?”
“Not really,” you said embarrassed.
“That’s okay, it's nothing to be ashamed about, not many people do, but it’s when the lining of your uterus grows outside of your uterus too, like on your ovaries and your fallopian tubes and if it’s really bad it can grow on some of your other organs and your pelvis too. I don’t want you to worry too much though because it could just be a bad period but at the same time I do want you to know that you shouldn’t have this much pain with a normal period, but we will keep an eye on your symptoms for the next few months and decided where we go from there, okay?” you nodded in agreement, the pain slowly over taking you yet again this side nausea came alongside it.
“Can you come to the bathroom with me? I feel sick, and I don’t want to be alone and-” “Of course, do you want to go into mine and your Mum’s? It’s a bit bigger and then whenever you want we can get into our bed, might be more comfortable,” Leah offered reassuringly before you let out a small ‘okay’.
____
“Why can’t it just be normal? I just want to be able to swim, and do the things I normally do, like even just getting a cup of water would be nice” you cried, you had moved from the bathroom to your Mum’s and Leah’s bed a while ago, having curled into Leah’s side, resting your head on her chest.
“I know bubs, it’s no fun at all, but I promise you that I will get you help if it continues like this. The heat pad should help soon and then you might be able to get some sleep.” Leah tried reassuring you as she ran her fingers through your hair.
“Don’t go,” you mumbled quietly as sleep finally began to take over, your body absolutely exhausted from the pain.
“I’m not going to go anywhere bubs, I’m staying right here with you,”
#woso fanfics#woso imagine#woso x reader#awfc x reader#beneaththesurface#leah williamson imagine#leah williamson x r#leah williamson x reader#arsenal women x reader#arsenal wfc x reader#arsenal wfc imagine#caitlin foord imagine
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TAKE YOUR PAIN AWAY | quinn hughes.
chapter nine:
➴ chapter warnings: mentions of toxic family, angst.
➴ word count: 3.8k
💌 from me to you: took my sweet time before publishing this because now my non hockey best friend follows me (i love u lily) here and i feel ashamed lmfao also ive been deep into ballroom hair tutorial videos on tiktok so im sorry for the delay. love u all though! (p.s. be patient with maddie yall)
౨ৎ
2024, MAY.
YOU STARED at the two piece set you chose for Jack’s birthday dinner and sighed, wondering if it was a good option or not.
After that wonderful weekend with Quinn at the cabin he had rented for you both, you decided to give it a shot and call Luke and Jack once, to know how they were doing; turns out Quinn was right, and they missed you just as much— or at least that's what they said when you explained that you were calling because you wanted to know how they were doing and that you missed them.
Luke talked with you for a good thirty minutes, while Jack exceeded himself and made it to the one hour mark. Even with the time difference, he managed to speak with you for a long time, and didn’t end the call until he was absolutely sure that you would come to his birthday dinner in Newark.
“You can come with Quinn, if you want. He’s coming too,” he said, and you wondered if you should tell him that you and Quinn now were some sort of friends with benefits.
Not that you didn’t want people to know. In fact, people probably already knew— or at least they suspected. It wasn’t like you and Quinn had been trying to be subtle, and your Instagram posts didn’t leave room for imagination. It was clear that you were with someone, and the chances of that someone being Quinn Hughes were very high.
All your life you tried to distance yourself from the Hughes brothers as much as you could. When you were younger, people asked if you knew them, and even though you didn’t understand why, you always told them no. After you grew up and made your own name, not mentioning Quinn, Luke or Jack felt like the right choice, so you just kept it that way.
And now, it was May 14th, and you were on your way to Jack’s house, with Quinn by your side. You had rented a hotel room for the weekend, even after Jack (and Luke) complained about how there was no need for that and how you could stay with them, you thought it was better this way. You didn’t want to intrude in their lives and sharing a hotel bedroom with Quinn wasn’t exactly the worst thing that could happen to you. And thankfully, Quinn didn’t complain about it either.
“Are you ready, baby?” Quinn stood by the bathroom door, looking at you through the mirror.
You picked your red lipstick up, opening it. “Just the last thing and then yeah.” You say before applying it, smearing the lipstick on your lips. “What do you think?” You ask, giving him a twirl.
“You’re unreal, Madison,” he eyes your body, up and down, before getting closer and kissing your forehead. “We might not leave this room tonight.”
You roll your eyes playfully.
“Come on, let’s go,” you say, taping him on his shoulder. “Did you grab Jacky’s gift? It was in my bag.”
“I did, yeah,” he says, leaving the bathroom after you. “Wanna tell me why you bought him a pop music album called ‘Make Me Yours’? A bit suggestive, don’t you think?”
You laugh, throwing your head back at Quinn’s furrowed brows.
“I was just listening to this album the other day and I don’t know why, but I thought he might like it.”
“Alright. I thought you wanted to be his.” He smirks, grabbing your purse for you and opening the bedroom door.
“Meh. He’s not the Hughes I’m interested in.” Quinn laughs, nodding with his head.
The drive to Jack’s place wasn’t long, fifteen minutes inside the car Quinn rented was all you needed to get to Jack’s house. You took advantage of the time inside the car to check on the photos the hotel Bella was staying in had sent you during your flight, smiling when you remembered how Quinn also got worried about her well being.
You were looking at Bella, trying your hardest not to let your eyes fill up with tears as she distanced herself from you to play with the other dogs there.
“Are you sure she’ll be okay?” You ask Ryan, the owner of the five star dog hotel you reserved for Bella so you and Quinn could travel together.
“Yes, Mrs. Carter, I can assure you that.” He smiles politely, holding his hands together.
“I need you to send me pictures of her hourly so I can see if she’s fine,” you demand, shaking your head. “If there’s anything wrong, call me. No matter what time it is, you will call me, do you understand?” You squinted, trying to look scary.
It probably worked, because soon you felt Quinn’s hand circling your waist, pulling you closer. You stared at him as he smiled at you. “I think Ryan understood everything perfectly, baby. Bella will be fine.”
“Yes, Mr. Hughes, Bella will be well taken care of.”
“Of course she is. Otherwise we’ll make sure this place is shut down.” Quinn says with the friendliest tone you ever heard coming out of his mouth, making you smile at him.
Ryan’s eyes twitched for a second before he managed to let out a scared laugh, excusing himself and leaving the two of you alone.
“Do you think we scared him enough?” Quinn asks as you both leave the fancy room.
You smirk. “I hope so. Otherwise this will be the only time I use my name for something.”
You and Quinn parked the car after a few minutes looking for a spot— the street was packed with cars, so you could only imagine what Jack’s house was going to look like— and you grabbed his gift before moving back to Quinn’s side and walking to Jack’s door.
Quinn rang the doorbell and a few minutes later, a very excited and happy Jack opened the door, holding a can of beer in his left hand.
“Huggy bear!” He hugged Quinn and pulled him inside the place. “Guys, Huggy Bear is here!”
You could hear the shouts coming from the living room and you smiled, watching as Quinn’s face turned into a cute shade of red and he looked at his brother like he wanted to murder him.
“Hey, Jacky, happy birthday. I love you,” Quinn mumbles, embarrassment coming out of his pores.
“Thank you,” he kisses Quinn on the cheek, clearly a bit tipsy and moves on to you. “You’re actually here.”
You smile. “I am. Happy birthday, Rowdy.”
He hugs you tight, holding your waist with both of his arms, his left hand feeling colder because of his beer. You kiss him on the cheek, making sure there were no lipstick marks left, and hand him his gift.
“This is for you.”
“Can we talk about how the actual gift here is you being here? With Quinn?” He smiles, closing the door behind you and Quinn. Your smile grows, feeling happy to see him this happy. “Thank you.”
“How many people did you invite?” Quinn asks beside you, sounding surprised.
“Just the fellas,” Jack shrugs. “And maybe some girls too.”
“There’s like thirty cars parked outside.” Quinn complains, and you squeeze his shoulder, involuntarily. Jack eyes your hand there for a second before rolling his eyes at Quinn.
“Stop being boring. Come on.”
Jack probably didn’t understand the concept of a small birthday dinner, which was what he said when he invited you to his birthday. You imagined that there would be ten people tops, but the twenty-three NJ Devils players were there, and their respective significant others as well. Not to mention the at least ten women and men who weren’t players nor girlfriends but were there as well.
While Quinn greeted some of the people he knew, you found Luke sitting on the couch, talking to a random girl.
“Mads? Jesus, you actually came.” he sounded as surprised as Jack did, and you raised your eyebrow, giving him a forehead kiss.
“Why are you so surprised? You know I wouldn’t miss the chance of taking pictures of Jack’s drunk face,” you joke, sitting on the couch beside him and smiling at the girl who was talking to Luke before. “Hi, I’m Madison.”
“I’m Jessica, nice to meet you,” she smiles, and you can tell she’s timid.
“Been a while since the last time I saw you. How’s life in Vancouver, M?” Luke asks, sipping on a beer he should not be drinking. You squint your eyes at him. “Don’t even start.”
You lift your hands in surrender. “I like living there.”
“I heard they have amazing lakes there,” the girl from before, Jessica, says, smiling and crossing her legs.
“Oh, yeah, they do.” you agree, smiling.
“You and Quinn visited one last week, didn’t you?” Luke asks, staring at you weirdly. You could tell he wanted to ask you something else, blue eyes full of questions, but he was content with the simple nod you gave him.
“I’m actually in the mood for a drink. Sorry for interrupting you both,” you say before getting up, watching as Luke smirked at you, probably happy because you didn’t cut his chances of getting laid that night, while Jessica shyly smiled at you, waving with her hand.
Finding Jack’s kitchen wasn’t hard, since the majority of the people were staked in the living room. You took the liberty of opening his fridge, smiling when you found your favorite beer brand inside it.
You grabbed a can, closing the door right after it. You opened it, taking a sip after.
“Oh, wow,” you hear a voice behind you, loud enough to be heard over the music playing in the background, making you turn, still with the can around your lips. A blond man stood by the kitchen door with his hands inside his pockets. “It’s not every day we see a lady like you drinking directly from the source.”
You chuckle, putting the can down. “That was the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”
The man smiles and shrugs.
“I probably have to work on my pick up lines a little bit more.”
“That was a pick up line?” you scoff. “I’m scared.”
“I’m Jesper Bratt,” he laughs, extending his hand, which you promptly grab. “Never seen you around Jack’s parties before.”
“Madison Carter,” you introduce yourself, letting go of his hand. “I’m an old friend of Jack’s. And I live in Vancouver, I’m just here to celebrate Jacky’s birthday.”
Bratt whistles. “Damn. And I thought that the twenty minute drive here was long. You flew a whole country for him.”
You smile and lift your shoulders, feeling shy suddenly.
“It’s no big deal, I’ve known him for years. Are you one of his teammates?”
“Yes, actually,” he rests his elbow on one of the counters, staring at you with fierce eyes. “So, Madison Carter. Tell me about yourself.”
“Is this a job interview?” you laugh, finishing the rest of your beer in one go.
“It might as well be,” he smirks, moving until he was in front of the fridge, opening so he could get another beer for you. You thanked him, before speaking again.
“And for what position am I applying for?” you ask, only realizing what your sentence implied after Bratt’s laugh.
“I hope it’s for missionary.” he cocks his head to the side, a flirty smile decorating his lips.
You rolled your eyes, sipping on your beer again.
Jesper wasn’t a bad looking man. And usually, you’d feel flattered that a man as handsome as he would be interested in you, but this was when you realized that you were fucked.
Because no matter how much Bratt flirted with you, or how seductive he sounded, it didn’t matter— he isn’t him.
You were sixteen years old when you realized that that infatuation you felt for Quinn in reality meant that you were in love with him. Maybe if you were anyone else, you would’ve realized sooner, since the signs were as clear as Algarve’s beach sea, but coming from someone who knew little to nothing about love, it took you way longer.
You came to the conclusion that it wasn’t normal for you to compare all of the boys your age to Quinn. It wasn’t normal for you to cry after your first kiss because you wanted Quinn to be the one who kissed you first. Same thing with your first time having sex or giving a guy a blowjob.
You were in love with Quinn Hughes, and probably had always been.
But then you grew up, moved to Los Angeles and tried your hardest to be normal and not feed your teenage delusions about marrying Quinn and carrying his children. You forced yourself to believe that what you felt for him wasn’t anything more than a crush. A teenage crush.
And it was easy to believe that, since you hadn’t seen him for years. It was easy to pretend you were happy with Richard, or with any of the guys who flirted with you.
But when you saw Quinn for the first time after all those years, looking as handsome as you knew him to be, you realized that your silly infatuation for him wasn’t just that. No. Twenty-two year old Madison Carter felt the same things sixteen year old Madison did.
And now, standing in the middle of Jack’s kitchen, you realized something worse: it wasn’t just a crush. It was a wardrobe full of feelings, it was a gray sky packed with heavy clouds. You were in love with him.
And people are right when they say that owning something is probably the most hurtful way of loving. Because you loved Quinn, you owned him right now— you know he isn’t seeing anyone else— and yet, he wasn’t yours to keep.
The months were passing by, and soon it’d be September again and you’d have to move back to Los Angeles, and leave him and what you wanted so bad to call yours behind.
“Earth to Madison.”
You smiled at Jesper, feeling bad for zoning out on him like this.
“Sorry, I’m still a little bit jet lagged,” you explain, leaving your still full can on top of the counter and excusing yourself. “I think I need to use the bathroom, sorry.”
“No worries. The night’s still young.” He smiles at you one last time before you leave the kitchen, looking for Jack’s back door, and leaving the house.
Thankfully, no one had had the same idea as you, so Jack’s backyard was empty and with no one around to watch you freak out over your realization.
Or at least that’s what you thought.
“I knew something was up with you, but now I need to know what.” Luke’s voice reached your ears, making you smile and turn your head around, looking at the man who was sitting on one of Jack’s couches,
You walked in his direction, sitting beside him, resting your chin on your knees. “Just tired.” You mumble, closing your eyes.
“Maybe Jack would fall for that but me?” He scoffs. “Hell no. Spill it.”
“Why are you talking like a seventeen year old girl?”
“Don’t try to change the subject, little lady. I’m waiting.”
“I’m still older than you, y’know.”
“And I’m taller, so I don’t care,” he coughs, poking your cheek with his freezing cold finger. “Come on, M. Is it Quinn?”
You lift your head fast, frowning “Why are you talking about him?”
“It’s obvious that something’s going on between the two of you and you just confirmed it,” he chuckles. “What happened?”
“I don’t even know where to start,” you sigh, putting your head against your knees again.
“I think that starting from the beginning is a great choice.”
“You think you’re so funny,” you roll your eyes, playful. “You’re not. And I don’t know if I want to talk about my relationship with your brother with you.”
“Look, it already feels weird because you’re literally a sister to me, so it feels like I’m watching something very unholy and sinful happening but I want to help you, so just get it out of the way.”
You stay quiet for a while, debating with yourself if you should talk with him or not.
“I’m in love with your brother,” you whisper, saying the truth out loud for the first time ever. “And I’ve been in love with him for a long time now.”
Luke doesn’t say anything, so you keep going.
“We’ve recently started to… well, explore each other in other ways.”
“Oh, Jesus Christ, I knew it’d be bad but fuck me sideways this is disgusting,” he groans, making you laugh.
“You were the one who asked me to talk to you!” you laugh at his disgusted face.
“Yeah, but I regret it now. Leave all of the romantic parts aside, please.”
You roll your eyes, but do as he says. “And the truth is I don’t know what to do. I’m only staying in Vancouver for four more months and I don’t want to start something with him knowing that I won’t be able to keep it.”
Not to mention that once Quinn got to see you for what you truly are, he’d want to run away from you as soon as possible, just like your family did, making you leave your house as soon as you turned eighteen.
“Why can’t you just tell him this?” Luke stares at you, licking his lips.
“Why are you even asking me this?” You raise your eyebrow. “Why would I tell him about loving him but not being able to be with him?”
Luke stays silent for a while, making you stop staring at him and stare at the sky above you— the moon shining bright and the stars decorating the space around her.
“D’you know what I think?” he finally says, and you hum, waiting for his answer. “I think that you’re scared.”
You frown. “Scared? Why would I be scared?”
“Because you know Quinn, and you know he would do absolutely everything to be with you. He would fly to Vancouver every week if he had to, just to stay in LA with you.”
“I can’t let him do that,” you whisper, feeling terrible just by the thought of it. “I would never ask him to do something like that.”
“I’m not saying you would, I’m just saying that he’s willing to do something like that for you, and it scares you. It scares you to think that he probably loves you enough to do something like that.”
“We don’t know if he actually l–loves me.” You stutter, the word making your mouth feel bitter.
Luke sighs, moving his body around until he is facing you.
“Maddie, look,” he starts, his tone barely recognizable with how serious he sounded. “We’ve never said anything because it wasn’t our place, and maybe it still isn’t, but—” he breathes deep, his eyes never leaving yours. “The way your family treats you isn’t normal.”
“Luke—”
“I know, hell, we know that love isn’t exactly something you have experience with in your life and it’s fine. But you need to learn to accept the love people are willing to give you.”
“I do accept it,” you bite back, defensive.
“When was the last time you said ‘I love you’ to anyone?” Luke asks, and you can feel all of the walls you worked so hard to build starting to crack. And it scared you to death.
You got up fast, startling Luke. “Don’t talk about shit you don’t know.”
He also gets up, reaching out for you, making you step back immediately. He pulls his hands back, frowning. “Madison.”
“No, you— you can’t just say shit like that, Luke.” You could feel your heart racing inside your chest, your head pounding with unwelcome thoughts, but now you’d already started and— “I know what love is.”
“I’m not saying you don’t, M, I’m just saying you don’t know how to accept it!” He yells and raises his arms, pretty face portraying a deep shade of red underneath the moonlight. “Jack, Mom, Dad, me and Quinn have loved you for years and you can’t even acknowledge it!”
You both turn your head around as you hear the back door opening, and Quinn’s worried voice reaching your ears. “Luke, Maddie. Is everything okay here?”
“Madison’s—” Luke starts talking, and you angrily press your index finger against his muscled chest.
“Don’t you fucking dare, Luke,” you whisper, watching as he looks down at you, his sad, blue eyes grabbing a piece of your heart and keeping it.
You knew you were all over the place and you knew Luke had the greatest of all intentions, but he was right. You were scared. You had never been so scared before, not even when you moved to a whole other country by yourself, with no one to rely on.
You knew you were hurting him, just like you knew you were going to hurt Quinn, and maybe even Jack. Because that’s what you did to people, you hurt them.
Luke steps back, then he’s walking towards the door where Quinn stood, getting inside without saying a word.
You took a deep breath, thankful for all of the times you wanted to cry at work but couldn’t because you were surrounded by people. Now you know how to push your tears back whenever you need to.
“Maddie?” You hear Quinn’s soft whisper beside you, only then realizing he had gotten closer, and was now holding you by your waist. “What happened, sweetheart?”
You, you think. You happened, Quinn. You and your brothers and your parents.
You try to smile, knowing it wouldn’t reach your eyes. “Luke and I were just talking, it’s fine.”
“You look like you’ve seen a ghost and Lukey looked like he had just lost a game by 10-0,” he stares at you, worried. “Tell me what happened.”
“Nothing happened, I swear,” you lie through your teeth, knowing he would see right through it. “Let’s go back to the party.”
“We’re not going back there with you like this,” he frowns. “Let’s go back to the hotel.”
You shake your head, already letting go of him. “No. We came all the way here to see Jack and that’s what we’re going to do.”
“But—”
You kiss his lips gently, briefly touching them.
“Please? I’m fine, I swear.”
He stares at you for a while, his eyes searching for an answer in yours, but whatever he found made him give up, briefly nodding before kissing your forehead and walking you back to Jack’s party.
And just like that, you had your confirmation.
Even though you’re one hundred percent sure that you were meant to be his, Quinn Hughes wasn’t meant to be yours.
taglist: @hischierswhore @ru-kru @alwaysclassyeagle @he6rtshaker @nope-i-am-done @nngkay 🤎
#quinn hughes x y/n#quinn hughes x you#quinn hughes angst#quinn hughes fic#quinn hughes fluff#quinn hughes x reader#quinn hughes smut#quinn hughes imagine#quinn hughes#quinn hughes x oc#quinn hughes x model!fmc#nhl x reader#nhl imagine#nhl fanfiction#nhl fic#hockey#TYPA
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the burdens of royalty
Genre/Tropes: Established relationship, MC and Diavolo are married.
Summary: the weight of both the devildom and the human world are on your shoulders. if it wasn't for diavolo, you would have given up a long time ago.
Author's Comments: diavolo has a very tough job. every time he said he adores mc or that one time he confessed his love to them i panicked because thats so much. its heavier than the brother's "i love you" because hes ROYALTY and its a lot of take in.
i also find myself thinking about what his affection means for mc in the long run. i mean, surely diavolo has suitors. there are obviously higher up demons like the brothers (and maddi, that one witch that pursued diavolo so aggressively it was...icky.) for diavolo to actually pursue mc, i can't imagine what would happen when those same demons figured that out. if they were to make their relationship official or even get married, mc would probably need a bodyguard 24/7 because demons are OBVIOUSLY not chill with humans (like every single brother threatening mc and especially belphegor, although his circumstances were different because they involved lilith.)
anyways i'll be quiet, i hope you enjoy C:
~~~~~
It wasn’t easy being you.
Your now husband would always tell you that being him wasn’t easy, but now that you share the burden of his position, does that not also apply to you?
It came as quite a shock to the entire Devildom the day your engagement was announced—to think, the Prince of the Devildom, marrying a human! The demon aristocracy would have had your head if they weren’t so terrified of Barbatos. You were called many things (a manipulator and a cheat being among your favorites. Really, the higher ups in demon society would know too much about manipulating their way up the social ladder.) It was like they could comprehend that you just wanted to be with the man you loved, and that race and position and titles meant absolutely nothing to do with it.
If nothing else, you suppose being human was the easiest thing they could target. It shielded Diavolo from most of the backlash, at any rate. The last thing you ever wanted was for the public to lose their trust in him (and never give his ideals for the three realms a chance.) The fact that he only wanted the best for them seemed to fly right over their heads, as if Diavolo was just as untrustworthy as you, the foreign soul from another realm.
You, now their ruler, too.
But that’s exactly why you had to clench your teeth and bear it, bear the shimmering dresses and horned guests and Barbatos breathing down your neck so nobody would even think of attacking you. Snide remarks about your clothing of choice were met with “my husband picked it out, actually,” comments about how delicious your flesh smelled were ignored but met with a stern glare from your bodyguard, greetings that sounded so fake and that were obviously meant to butter you up were laughed at just as falsely.
Is this what it meant to be a royal?
“I apologize, My Liege. This ball runs til midnight. I assure you that you may retire to your chambers once this is over.” Barbatos whispers, strategically whisking you away from a group of demonesses muttering to each other and staring at you.
“Thank you.” you try to smile, but it probably seems like more of a wince than anything, “My feet are killing me. And the guests are just as bad.”
He smiles back sympathetically, and although he isn’t touching you at all, you can still feel the warmth emanating from him. Though the Avatars of Sin fear him, Barbatos has always been nothing but kind to you. You wonder if it has something to do with Diavolo, or if he really is that cruel. You suppose it doesn’t matter, whether you’re naive or not, because the fact of the matter is that you have the man Barbatos is loyal to encased in an eternal matrimonial vow. There is no way Barbatos would attempt to harm you.
“I will run you and My Lord a bath once this event is over.” he promises, and you can only sigh with relief when you notice he’s lead you outside, were the amount of people is nowhere near what it is inside, “Do you have a preference for which aromatherapy scent I use?”
“Use whichever one Diavolo chooses.” you reply, knowing he’ll be just as tired.
Barbatos laughs, a sound so full of mirth it makes you happy, too.
“I am sorry if that was out of line, My Liege. I was just amused by the coincidence. My Lord said to select whichever scent you would like.” Barbatos chuckles.
You find yourself laughing too, despite how nasty the demons around you treat you every time you hold one of these balls. It’s so sweet and considerate and just so Diavolo. You wish you could hug him right now and thank him for always trying to be a better man for you. He doesn’t seem like he will ever realize that he’s enough already, which simultaneously warms and breaks your heart.
He really thinks too highly of you. You’re not that special.
Barbatos leads you to a bench and gestures for you to sit. You do so without complaint, and before you can say anything he’s on his knees and massaging your calves. You feel yourself heating up in the face (because you still feel like he shouldn’t be doing these things for you), but you’ve learned a while ago that he takes pleasure in serving people. So you let him do his thing.
Part of your flustered state is also embarrassment, and despite your best efforts you cannot stop your eyes from darting around the gardens to check if anyone is paying attention to you. Thankfully, they all seem enraptured by an illusionist hired for the event who’s stationed in front of the grandiose fountain. He keeps making wispy demonic figures swallow running humanoid figures whole.
You’re used to this.
Another servant comes by, one by the name of Marie Anne. You know her well. Diavolo has always been very kind to her, offering her a life away from the downright cruel aristocratic family she had before. You don’t know the details, and you don’t ask. It’s not your place.
The demoness curtsies and smiles, offering you a bubbling glass of Demonus. It can’t get you drunk, but it can be refreshing. You take it and thank her. Her cheeks turn pink and she curtsies again before scurrying towards the crowd of demons watching the illusionist.
It’s funny how some demons could be so kind and others so nasty. There were many similarities that they have with humans, whether they wanted to admit it or not.
You tell Barbatos that he can stop now, and he halts his motions and stands up immediately. You’re still not used to being pampered in such a way, so you thank him. He only smiles and tells you it’s not necessary.
“I believe this is why the servants are taking a quick liking to you.” he muses, “I hardly think they would be this receptive if My Lord had married a witch or a member of the aristocracy.”
“You really think so?” you say, feeling your cheeks burn again from the praise, “I…I’m not doing anything special.”
“A simple thank you goes a long way, My Liege.” he hums, a content smile on his face as he stands beside you.
You suppose he’s right. After all, you’ve only heard (and seen, you think bitterly) terrible things about the aristocracy. They’re rude and impatient and only ever think about themselves when it comes to policies that affect the entire Devildom. If they didn’t fear Diavolo so much they surely would have attempted to overthrow him by now.
Too bad, you think smugly, staring at the insolent illusionist again as he makes a smokey human child scream at a demonic creature emerging from an equally smokey closet, He would destroy all of you if you even tried.
You feel immature for the thought only seconds later. You’re a ruler. You need to get your act together—you can’t be just as bad as them.
“My Liege, it’s almost time for the first official dance of the night.” Barbatos bows to you, swooping his hand gracefully towards the ballroom, “Would you like to reconvene with My Lord?”
“Please. I thought I would never get to see him tonight.” you groan, attempting to walk off the slight cramp in your calf as you follow Barbatos back into the fray.
The second your shoes hit the shiny flooring and make that click clack sound, there are shimmering eyes drawn to your form. They snap away as soon as they look, though, and whether it’s disgust or fear of Barbatos you don’t know. It doesn’t matter though, because finally you’ll get to see your beloved after he’s been mingling with the aristocracy all night. It isn’t hard to find him either, because amidst all the other clumps of beautiful demons you can clearly see an even bigger clump closer to the center.
You don’t even have to mumble awkward ”excuse me’s” as they all step aside for you (mostly for Barbatos though, as he’s leading the way and they’ve already made it plenty clear that they do not respect you) and before you know it, you’re standing in front of your beaming husband and a rather disgruntled Lucifer. He looks about as comfortable as you do in your formal wear, though he doesn’t show it. It’s too bad you know him well enough to see past his facade and pick up on all his little mannerisms he would never allow anyone else to see.
You spare him the teasing right now.
You try not to feel self conscious as you take your place by Diavolo’s side, a soft giggle leaving the lips of the demon you kiss goodnight every evening.
“Hello, my dear.” he whispers in your ear, stooping down to kiss your hand, “I’m pleased to see that you’re well. Have you been enjoying the festivities?”
Lie. Lie until you’re alone with him and can finally be yourself again.
“Yes, it's been lovely.” you lie through your teeth, a single drop of sweat sliding down the back of your neck as hundreds of pairs of eyes bore into you, “Barbatos has been most helpful. I’m incredibly thankful for him.”
Diavolo lights up like a little puppy dog at the mention of his butler’s name, and lets another loud laugh escape him. Despite his cheerful demeanor, you can still feel the hateful glares being directed your way. In the periphery of your vision, you can see Lucifer glaring right back at the demons behind you, and that gesture alone warms your heart. You are safe with these demons. Things will get better.
Even if better is in a few hours, when you and Diavolo will be in bed and he’ll spoon you and hold you tightly and whisper words of love and affection into your ear until you fall asleep. You discovered his habit for sleepy rambling relatively quickly after the wedding, and eventually you couldn’t sleep without it. If it wasn’t for his love, you surely never would have gotten this far with interrealm relations. If it had been anyone else, you would’ve given up.
Diavolo was the definition of shoot for the stars. He truly was an amazing demon.
“My dear.” he coos, eyes crinkling at the edges as he smiles that cheesy grin you know all too well and love far too much, “May I have this dance?”
He stretches a hand out for you to take, a symbol of how you two are bridging two realms together. Some of the people here tonight may think that’s the reason you two are doing this, that it's a diplomatic display to marry each other, but they’d be wrong. You know Diavolo isn’t the type to do something like that.
It’s like the demons in this palace tonight can’t understand that you two just love each other, and that's that.
And so you take his hand.
He sighs, a blissful sound that you know only you can produce from him, and sweeps you across the dance floor. His hand on your lower back is firm and unyielding, but it’s not possessive. Even when you were still living with the demon brothers, he never once overstepped any bounds.
Part of you wished he did.
It wasn’t just him that had wanted you two to spend time together.
You suppose that doesn’t matter anymore, not when his grip is so sure, not when his heartbeat is pounding in your ears as you rest your head against him, not when the demons and demonesses are moving out of your way. You know the respect is short lived and that they are only doing this for Diavolo, but that doesn’t stop you from enjoying it for now. Moments where a demon steps aside for a human are few and far between, but with you and Diavolo working together, you hope it will become more common.
“I love you.” you whisper to him, the words quiet enough so that only you two can hear them. You aren’t ready to declare such a vulnerable thing on your own, not when these demons have the strength to rip you apart.
And so Diavolo helps you, just as he always does.
“I love you more than anything.” he declares, his voice as loud as a blaring trumpet, a sharp contrast to your softness. You feel your face begin to burn, especially when you hear a murmur ripple through the crowd, but you cannot stop the wobbly smile on your face.
“Disgusting.”
“A human? Really? How will they rule us?”
“It would have been better if we stayed with our own kind.”
“What is Lord Diavolo doing?”
The ballroom begins to buzz and you feel yourself growing less and less sure of yourself. There are tears pricking your eyes, but you will them away. You cannot let them win.
And then, you see Diavolo’s form ripple. Wings sprout from his back and horns protrude from his head and there’s an uncharacteristically stern glare on his face as he fixes his malice at who you can only assume are the perpetrators.
You feel safe.
Maybe it’s a farce.
Maybe it’s make believe.
Maybe it’s temporary.
But Diavolo’s dream is possible, and you believe in him.
You just need to endure the burdens of royalty for him—the burdens he’s been bearing by himself for far too long.
#auburn's fics <3#obey me x reader#obey me angst#obey me#om x reader#om diavolo x reader#diavolo x reader#diavolo fluff#diavolo angst#im slowly turning into a diavolo liker /r#honestly i cant believe i wrote this before reaching the lessons where they talk about demon/human marriages#i was SCREAMING when diavolo said there would eventually be a time when mc could marry any of them :((#I LOVE THAT GUY#and the levi content was so good too#YUM YUM
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leon bridges 9 💚
9. you stay on my mind… when I fly above
Langford smirks at Tommy, eyes flicking from the picture of Evan he has taped to the panel of the cockpit. “That your boy, Kinard?”
“No, it’s some stranger whose picture I stole,” Tommy deadpans.
“Ass,” Langford mutters, chucking a pen at him, which Tommy catches, to the other man’s annoyance. He’s “helping” Tommy conduct a pre-flight inspection, but really, he’s just here to give him shit.
Jack Langford joined Harbor a year after Tommy and he’d annoyed Tommy into friendship with him. He doesn’t mind Tommy’s snark and didn’t bat an eye when he found out he was gay. He even took it upon himself to act as Tommy’s wingman (pun not intended) before he found Evan.
“So, when are you introducing us?”
“Oh I’m not sure he, or anyone should be subjected to you so soon,” Tommy grins, checking the last few items of their list. Everything’s in order, he takes care to keep his machines running in tip-top shape.
“Come on, I’m a goddamn delight and you know it,” Jack whines. “Bring him to trivia night next week!”
Tommy doesn’t tell him the invitation had already been extended by the rest of the crew. He’d asked Evan, who eagerly accepted. “Ok, ok, just for you, Jack,” he sighs, tone all saccharine sarcasm.
“Ah, I knew you loved me, Kinard,” Jack blows a kiss at him.
Tommy shakes his head and can’t help but smile. 118 repressed Tommy would never believe he’d be here, bantering about his boyfriend, with another man in their line of work.
“He’s gonna kick everyone’s ass at trivia- he’s a fountain of knowledge,” he mentions proudly, not hiding the stupid, fond look on his face.
“Wow, you’ve got it baaad,” Jack whistles. “I’m glad you’re bringing him. I mean, we have to meet the person who’s got our Tommy so besotted. Seriously, I don’t think I’ve seen ever seen you keep anything in here that isn’t necessary,” he looks pointedly at the picture of Evan.
“Yeah, yeah,” Tommy says, rolling his eyes, and then with a soft smile, “he’s… something else, unlike anyone I’ve ever met.”
“I’ll bet,” Jack smiles. “In fact, I already like him, if he’s got you mooning like that,” he declares, bumping Tommy’s elbow before they slip into their seats.
They buckle in and Tommy prepares them for take-off. He checks the throttle and ignites the engine, inspects the controls and gauges, then opens the throttle, watching for proper RPM. When everything looks as it should, he turns off the hydraulics to check the collective, then turns them back on. He looks at the gauges and fuel again to make sure they’re all still good.
And they’re good to go. He raises the collective while adding left pedal, engages the cyclic, and they’re off. He still gets a rush every time he takes a chopper into the sky- it never gets old. He takes in the vast blue of the sky and reaches out to touch his fingers to the picture of Evan in front of him.
He’s in mid-laugh, eyes bright and that damn dimple shows in full force. Maddie has snapped it on her Polaroid camera, while he was laughing at something Tommy said. She slipped him the print with a wink and a knowing smile, and Tommy had no choice but to tape it to his cockpit, where Evan could always accompany him.
The lonely skies never really bothered him before- he enjoyed the solitude. But the thought of having a piece of Evan up there with him every time filled a hunger in him he hadn’t even realized was there.
Jack breaks the silence with a click of his phone camera, catching Tommy (seriously, who keeps their keyboard sounds on??) He’d only been silent before because he knows Tommy likes to focus when he’s taking off.
“Delete that, Langford!”
“Hm, don’t think so, bud. I’m sure Evan will want to see this,” he nods to himself. “In fact, I think I should submit this to the dictionary. They’ll put it right next to down horrendous.”
Tommy grimaces at the lingo Jack often interjects in conversation. I have a Gen Z nephew, sue me, is his usual defense. “I’ll crash this and take both of us down,” he mutters darkly.
Jack reaches over to push his shoulder. “No you won’t. Then your man will be all sad and lonely and you wouldn’t want that, right?” He shoots him a smug smile.
“No, no I wouldn’t,” Tommy says under his breath and smiles.
#bucktommy#i really wanted to write someone at harbor giving tommy shit AND tommy keeping a picture of buck in his cockpit so#have this#tommy kinard#og character: jack langford#i tried w the technical speak but if there are inaccuracies pls ignore them#prompts#my fic
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RIDE OR DIE pt.2 | Aemond Targaryen x fem!oc
PART 1 / PART 2 / PART 3
GIF di sabrinaacarpenters
Summary: Aemond Targaryen is the owner of a famous strip club, the Blue Pearl. One night he visits the club and asks for the best girl, unaware of the consequences of his choice…
TW: 18+, MINORS DNI, She/Her pronouns, the fem!oc is named Maddy with long brown hair and blue-green eyes, oral (f and m receiving), fingering, SMUT, sexual tension, sex, sex, sex, drug use, Modern Aemond in Modern AU.
English is not my first language, be kind <3
This is my Masterlist
Words:
What will happen now that Aemond asked Maddy to go out on a date?
Read here under the cut!
She said "Yes" to a date with Aemond Targaryen.
Maddy stands in front of the small mirror in her bedroom, carefully applying the final touches to her makeup. Her long brown hair cascades over her shoulders, contrasting with the smooth, black fabric of her sheath dress. The dress is from Shein, simple yet elegant, hugging her curves just right, and paired with black heels that add a touch of sophistication. Her blue-green eyes, highlighted by her makeup, stare back at her with a mixture of excitement and nervousness.
As she applies a final coat of lipstick, the familiar sound of raised voices echoes from the living room. Her sister, Maya, is yelling, and from the tone, Maddy knows it's directed at their mother, Miriam.
"Maya, stop it! She doesn’t need this right now," Maddy shouts from her room, her voice carrying a plea.
But Maya’s voice continues, dripping with frustration. "Why can’t you do anything right? We’re stuck in this hellhole because of you!"
Maddy sighs, her heart sinking as she puts down her lipstick. She knows their mother’s illness has taken a toll on everyone, but it’s Maya who has changed the most. The weight of their situation is pushing her to a breaking point. Maddy quickly slips on her heels and leaves her room, bracing herself for what awaits her.
In the living room, Maya paces back and forth, her face flushed with anger. Their mother, frail and pale from the effects of her illness, sits in her worn-out armchair, her eyes filled with tears.
"Maddy, are you going out?" Miriam asks weakly, her voice trembling.
"Yes, Mom… I am. But I’ll be back soon," Maddy reassures her, trying to sound more confident than she feels.
Maya suddenly turns to Maddy, her eyes glinting with a strange intensity. "Before you go, there’s something you should know."
Maddy frowns. "What is it?"
"I spent all the money," Maya blurts out, her voice both defiant and guilty. Maddy feels a cold wave of shock wash over her. "What? Maya, what are you talking about?"
"The money we had saved… I spent it. But don’t ask me how or why. I don’t want to talk about it," Maya replies, her tone harsh and defensive.
"You did what?" Maddy’s voice rises, the anger and despair mingling inside her. "How could you? That was for Mom’s treatment, for us to get by!"
Maya avoids Maddy’s gaze, her expression hardening. "I said I don’t want to talk about it, Maddy."
"Maya, what the hell is wrong with you?!" Maddy shouts, her emotions spiraling out of control.
Their argument escalates, the tension between them bursting into full-blown yelling. Their mother watches helplessly, tears streaming down her cheeks, unable to intervene. The weight of their desperate situation has finally broken through the thin veneer of calm that Maddy has been trying to maintain.
Finally, unable to bear it any longer, Maddy grabs her small black purse and storms out of the apartment. She can’t face Aemond, not like this, and not here. She needs time to cool down, to gather her thoughts. She doesn’t want him to see the reality of her life, the poverty and the struggles she faces every day.
Maddy walks briskly to the bus stop, her heels clicking on the pavement. The night air is cool, and she takes deep breaths, trying to calm the storm inside her. She has told Aemond to meet her in the city center, where it would be easier to hide the truth of her life from him. But when she reaches the end of her street, she freezes in her tracks.
There, leaning casually against a sleek black Porsche 911, is Aemond. He is dressed in a black shirt, leather jacket, and jeans, his appearance both sharp and relaxed, as if he is perfectly at ease in any situation. He looks up as she approaches, his gaze locking onto hers with an intensity that makes her heart skip a beat.
Maddy’s face flushes with embarrassment. Her neighborhood, with its rundown buildings and graffiti-covered walls, is a far cry from the kind of place someone like Aemond would be used to. She worries that he will judge her, see her as nothing more than the poor girl from the outskirts of the city.
But Aemond’s expression doesn’t change. He simply smiles, a genuine warmth in his eyes that makes her feel a little less self-conscious.
"You’re early" he says, pushing himself off the car and walking towards her.
Maddy bites her lip, trying to hide her discomfort. "I didn’t want you to wait too long."
"I don’t mind waiting," Aemond replies softly, his gaze sweeping over her as if he can see right through her defenses. "You look stunning, by the way."
"Thank you," Maddy whispers, her voice almost breaking. She can’t believe how much she has wanted to impress him, how much she has hoped that this date would be different, something special.
Aemond opens the car door for her, and she slips inside, grateful for the privacy of the sleek vehicle. As they drive towards the city center, Maddy can’t shake the feeling that Aemond knows more about her than she wants him to. She can’t help but wonder if he has seen the argument, heard the shouting. But he doesn’t say anything, and for that, she is grateful.
The restaurant Aemond chooses is intimate, with dim lighting and a relaxed atmosphere. It isn’t the kind of flashy place she had feared, but rather somewhere that makes her feel comfortable. As they sit down, Maddy finds herself relaxing slightly, the earlier tension easing away.
Maddy enjoys the date more than she expects. Aemond is attentive, genuinely interested in what she has to say, and she finds herself laughing at his dry sense of humor.
But then, as the evening wears on, Aemond asks the question she has been dreading.
"So, Maddy, how did you end up working at the Blue Pearl?" His tone is gentle, but there is a seriousness in his eyes that tells her he isn’t just making small talk.
Maddy stiffens, her earlier unease flooding back. She looks down at her plate, her appetite suddenly gone. "It’s a long story," she replies, trying to keep her voice steady.
"I have time" Aemond says quietly, his gaze never leaving hers.
Maddy hesitates, the walls she has built around herself starting to crack. She wants to trust him, but the fear of being judged, of being seen as less than what she is, holds her back. "It’s just… things have been tough," she finally says, her voice barely above a whisper.
Aemond reaches across the table and takes her hand in his. His touch is warm, reassuring. "You don’t have to tell me everything, not if you’re not ready. But I want to understand you, Maddy."
She looks up at him, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. For a moment, she considers opening up, telling him about the struggles at home, the sacrifices she has made, the pain she has endured. But the words won’t come. Instead, she simply nods, squeezing his hand in return. "Not tonight, please."
“Not tonight.”
After dinner, Maddy and Aemond step outside the restaurant, only to be greeted by a sudden downpour. The rain falls in heavy sheets, the kind that soaks through clothes in seconds. Maddy shivers slightly as the cold droplets splash against her skin, and Aemond quickly pulls her closer, shielding her from the worst of it.
“Looks like we’re not going to get far in this,” Aemond says, his voice gentle but amused. “Why don’t we head to my place? It’s not far from here.”
Maddy hesitates for a moment, the offer catching her off guard. But the warmth of his presence, the way he has treated her all evening, makes her feel safe. She nods, a small smile playing on her lips. “Okay, let’s go.”
Aemond drives them through the rain-soaked streets, the city lights blurring in the distance. When they arrive, Maddy’s breath catches in her throat. Aemond’s mansion is massive, a sprawling estate with towering walls and elegant architecture. It’s a world away from the small, rundown apartment she calls home. As they drive through the gates, Maddy sees a large courtyard, meticulously kept, where a big dog is running around, barking happily despite the rain.
“Vhagar,” Aemond explains as he parks the car. “She’s a bit of a handful, but she’s harmless.”
Maddy smiles as she watches the dog run circles in the rain, feeling a warmth she hadn’t expected. Aemond opens the car door for her, holding an umbrella over them as they make their way to the front entrance. The mansion looms above her, every detail exuding wealth and comfort.
Once inside, Maddy takes in her surroundings, marveling at the high ceilings, the ornate furnishings, and the sheer size of the place. Everything is immaculate, every detail perfect. It’s overwhelming, a stark contrast to her own life.
“You can take a look around if you want,” Aemond says, his voice soft as he watches her. There is no hint of arrogance in his tone, just a simple offer.
Maddy nods, walking slowly through the large entryway, her fingers lightly brushing over the polished surfaces. The house is beautiful, but more than that, it feels lived in, like a home rather than just a display of wealth.
“I don’t want to seem disrespectful, Maddy” Aemond whispers, his voice low and sincere. “But now it might seem the opposite to you, pretty girl.”
Before she answers, he lean in and kiss her. The kiss is slow and deep, his lips warm and soft against hers. Maddy feel herself melt into him, her worries and insecurities slipping away as she wrap her arms around his neck. The taste of the cocktail linger between them, adding to the intoxicating mix of sensations.
Aemond pull her closer, his hands tracing gentle patterns on her back. The kiss is deep, growing more passionate, and Maddy feel a fire ignite within her. All the tension from the night, from her life, seemed to dissolve in that moment. She want to lose herself in him, to forget everything else.
They break apart for a brief moment, both of them breathless, their foreheads resting against each other. Aemond’s eye search hers, asking a silent question, one that Maddy answer by pressing her lips to his once more, with a renewed urgency.
The world outside the mansion, with all its struggles and hardships, seemed to fade away as Aemond guided her gently, lovingly, to his bedroom. The rain continue to pour outside, a steady rhythm that matched the beating of her heart.
Maddy and Aemond undress each other, their clothes falling quickly to the floor. In Aemond's eyes, Maddy looks ravishing: long dark hair, blue-green eyes, full lips. Such a beautiful, sweet, kind and intelligent girl forced to sell her body and dance for hours and hours for men. Aemond caresses her lips with his thumb, she is so damn beautiful. In Maddy's eyes, Aemond still standing seems like something forbidden: how could someone like him want her? Once again she finds herself dazed, staring at his body, his toned abs and a strong but soft chest. His arms as long as his hands. His v-line was defined that marked his hips and then, his manhood long, erect and painful for her.
Maddy can't help but pull his hair when Aemond finally presses his mouth fully against hers again, he makes her back up on the bed until she is lying on it. "Let me take care of you" He advances towards her, cowering against the covers as his warm body overtakes her. Under the soft light of the dim LEDs, Aemond appears like a forbidden vision and the feeling of his lips wrapped around Maddy's breasts and his hands placed softly on her thighs, keeping them apart, makes her gasp shamefully and he slowly moves down with kisses, tracing a wet trail from her breasts, her abdomen, her hips to her pussy.
"I'll eat you, pretty girl" Maddy feels herself melting under his touch. Aemond kneels on the floor in front of the bed, pulls her by the thighs and with two fingers opens her soaking wet pussy. Maddy looks at him completely submissive, completely flexible to his will. "Aemond…" her body trembles, her legs tremble. Aemond buries his face in Maddy's pussy, spreads her with two fingers and notices how fucking wet she is for him. He starts to lick her, Maddy starts to move her hips against his face, her legs wrapped tightly around his head, shaking, arching as she moans his name. All she feels is his mouth and fingers torturing her. Aemond's hands travel firmly to her hips to hold her still, Maddy shudders against his lips, Aemond adds his fingers sliding them into her.
Aemond continues to push his fingers into her, so tight and wet, he devours her as if it were his last meal, but he doesn't make her come. Maddy moans, her hands in Aemond's long silver hair. "Aemond…" she moans, arching her back, Aemond licks her clit, fills her with two fingers and then makes her come on his fingers. The orgasm overwhelms Maddy, leaving her immersed in pleasure. Aemond lifts himself onto the bed, kneeling in front of her, takes his manhood caressing himself a couple of times, leans over her, who feeling his erection press between her thighs, moans biting her lip when. Maddy feels Aemond's naked and hard length rubbing against her opening and getting wet from her, pushing only the tip inside… only to pull out a few moments later. "Please" Maddy whispers, Aemond moves the tip of his length to her clit, Maddy grabs a breast with her hand. Aemond grabs a condom from the nightstand, tears it from the packet with his teeth and puts it on. "I want you, I want you so badly that I'm ashamed of myself" Aemond whispers against Maddy's lips as her hand tightens around his length, aligns itself with her wet pussy, gradually pushing into her with a loud moan. The way his manhood penetrates her makes her moan shamefully beneath him, my hands meet her back and my nails dig into her skin.
"Aemond" Maddy whispers tightly to him. "Shh, it's okay" Aemond kisses her tenderly on the lips, Maddy tightens her arms around his neck. "Be a good girl for me" he whispers into the crook of Maddy's neck before slowly moving inside her unable to hold back his little moans. It's too good, too heavenly, too forbidden. The sound of their skin rubbing fills the room, along with their moans. Aemond pushes into her, his breathing heavy, he licks her nipple and caresses it with his thumb, Aemond grabs her thighs He feels her pussy tighten around his length, her hips thrusting towards him as he opens her up on his erection and she scratches him sensually on the back.
"My good girl" Aemond whispers completely lost in pleasure. His hand reaches for Maddy's thighs moving his fingers just enough to bring them to the edge. She feels her legs tremble and Aemond go rigid.
"Come with me" Aemond holds her in his arms, feels Maddy come tight to his cock and he fills the condom, collapsing on her sweaty body.
As the rain patters gently against the windows, Maddy and Aemond lie entwined in each other’s arms. The warmth of their bodies, the softness of the sheets, and the lingering intimacy from their sex create a cocoon of safety and comfort. Maddy rests her head on Aemond’s chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat, while his fingers gently trace patterns on her bare shoulder.
For a few moments, they simply lie there in silence, both savoring the closeness they’ve found. The outside world feels distant, its harsh realities momentarily forgotten. But as the quiet settles over them, the weight of unspoken words begins to press down, urging them to speak.
Aemond is the first to break the silence, his voice low and hesitant. “Maddy, there’s something I want to tell you… something I haven’t shared with anyone in a long time.”
Maddy lifts her head slightly, looking up at him with curiosity and concern. “You can tell me” she whispers, her hand resting gently on his chest.
Aemond takes a deep breath, his eyes fixed on the ceiling as he begins to speak. “My family… we’re wealthy, obviously. But that wealth didn’t come without a price. My father was a hard man, driven by power and ambition. He pushed us, my siblings and me, to be perfect, to live up to his expectations. And when we didn’t… well, he wasn’t the kindest man.”
Maddy listens intently, sensing the pain in his voice. She sees the shadows of his past in the way he speaks, the way his body tenses at the memories.
“My mother… she tried to protect us, but there was only so much she could do. My brother and sister dealt with it in their own ways, but I… I turned inward. I became cold, distant. It was easier that way, to shut everyone out, to pretend I didn’t care.” Aemond’s voice grows quieter, more vulnerable. “But it’s lonely, Maddy. I’ve been alone for so long.”
Maddy reaches up, cupping his cheek with her hand, her thumb brushing gently against his skin. “You’re not alone anymore, Aemond” she says softly, her voice filled with sincerity.
Aemond turns his gaze to her, his eyes searching hers for reassurance. “I want to believe that” he whispers, his hand covering hers. “But it’s hard to let go of the past.”
Maddy understands all too well. The pain of the past is something she carries with her every day, a burden that never truly goes away. She takes a deep breath, deciding to open up as well.
“My life hasn’t been easy either” she begins, her voice wavering slightly. “My dad left when I was young, and my mom… she got sick. Cancer. We don’t have the money to treat it properly, and I’ve had to do whatever I can to make ends meet. My sister, Maya, she’s… struggling. She made some bad choices, and now we’re stuck in this never-ending cycle of trying to… survive.”
Maddy’s voice cracks as she speaks, the emotions she’s kept bottled up for so long finally spilling out. “I never wanted this life. Working at the Blue Pearl… it’s not what I dreamed of. But I didn’t have a choice. It’s the only way I can take care of them, of my family.”
Aemond’s grip on her tightens, his heart aching for her. “Maddy, I’m so sorry” he says, his voice filled with genuine compassion.
Maddy shakes her head, a sad smile on her lips. “It’s just how it is. I’ve learned to live with it. But sometimes… sometimes it feels like I’m drowning, like no matter what I do, it’s never enough.”
Tears well up in her eyes, and she tries to blink them away, but Aemond sees them. He pulls her closer, wrapping his arms around her, offering her the comfort and security she so desperately needs.
“You’re stronger than you think, Maddy,” Aemond whispers into her hair.
Maddy closes her eyes, letting herself be held, letting herself believe—if only for a moment—that things can be different. That she doesn’t have to face everything on her own.
“I’m here for you, Maddy,” Aemond continues, his voice steady and sure. “Whatever you need, whatever it takes… I’ll be here.”
Maddy doesn’t know what the future holds or if things will really change. But in this moment, in Aemond’s arms, she feels a glimmer of hope. And for the first time in a long time, she allows herself to believe that maybe, just maybe, things can get better.
They stay like that for a while, wrapped in each other’s warmth, finding solace in their shared pain and in the connection they’ve forged. The rain continues to fall outside, a steady, soothing rhythm that lulls them both into a peaceful, dreamless sleep, their hearts a little lighter than before.
The morning after breakfast, Maddy insists on taking the bus home.
In the early morning, the sun filters through the thin curtains of their small, cramped apartment as Maddy quietly pushes the door open. The joy she felt from the night before lingers, a small warmth in her chest that makes the world seem a little brighter. But as she steps inside, that warmth quickly dissipates.
The living room is eerily quiet. Her mother, Miriam, is asleep on the worn-out couch, her frail form barely moving under the thin blanket. Maddy’s heart clenches at the sight, knowing how weak and sick her mother is. But it’s the sight of her sister, Maya, lying on the floor that makes Maddy’s blood run cold.
“Maya?” Maddy whispers, her voice trembling as she rushes to her sister’s side.
Maya is motionless, her face pale, her breathing shallow. A small bottle of pills is clutched in her hand, some of the pills scattered across the floor. Maddy’s stomach twists in horror as she kneels down beside her, shaking her gently.
“Maya, wake up! Please, wake up!” Maddy’s voice cracks with panic.
After a few agonizing moments, Maya stirs slightly, her eyes fluttering open. She looks up at Maddy with a dazed expression, barely conscious.
“Maddy…” she mumbles, her voice slurred. “I didn’t mean to… sister…”
Maddy’s heart sinks. The realization hits her like a punch to the gut—Maya has spent the money on drugs. Maddy’s hands tremble as she pries the pill bottle from her sister’s hand, her mind racing with a thousand thoughts.
“Why, Maya? Why did you do this?” Maddy’s voice is filled with a mixture of anger and despair, but her sister is too out of it to respond.
Desperation grips Maddy as she runs into the only bedroom they share, frantically opening drawers and searching through Maya’s belongings. Her hands tear through the clutter until she finds what she’s looking for—more drugs, hidden away in various places, far more than what the money could have bought.
Maddy’s breath hitches as she realizes the full extent of the situation. It isn’t just about the money that’s gone. Maya is in deep, and the people she bought from will surely come looking for what’s owed. Maddy knows these men, knows the kind of world they operate in, and she knows she’s fucked.
Her mind spins as she tries to figure out what to do next. The only option is clear—she’ll have to work harder, longer at the Blue Pearl to come up with the money, to protect Maya, and to keep their mother safe. It’s a grim, suffocating reality, and it crushes the brief happiness she felt after her night with Aemond.
Just as Maddy is about to lose herself in despair, her phone buzzes on the bed. She picks it up with trembling hands and sees a message from Aemond:
“I had a good time last night. I’d like to see you again. I still think you were beautiful.”
Maddy stares at the message, the words almost mocking her in light of everything that’s just happened. A part of her wants to hold onto the memory of the previous night, to escape into the warmth and comfort Aemond offered. But the harsh reality of her life is too much to ignore.
Her fingers hover over the screen as she tries to think of a response. Finally, she types:
“I would like to see you again too, Aemond. I had a good time with you.”
She presses send, then places the phone gently on the bed, her eyes brimming with tears. The weight of her situation, the hopelessness of it all, comes crashing down on her. Aemond’s world, the world she briefly stepped into, is so far removed from her own. How can she ever reconcile the two?
Maddy collapses onto the bed, her body shaking as the tears finally spill over. She buries her face in the pillow, muffling the sobs that rack her frame. She cries for her mother, for her sister, and for herself—trapped in a life she can’t escape, no matter how hard she tries. The night before was a glimpse of what could be, but now, in the harsh light of day, it feels like nothing more than a cruel joke.
And so, she weeps, alone in the small, suffocating bedroom, the message from Aemond still glowing on her phone—a small, fragile reminder of a happiness that now feels impossibly out of reach.
#aemond targaryen x reader#aemondtargaryenedit#house of the dragon#aemond one eye#house targaryen#aemond smut#aemond x reader#aemond the kinslayer#aemond targaryen x female reader#hotd aemond#aemond targaryen smut#smut#dance of the dragons#house of the dragons#aemond targaryen#aemond kinslayer#modern au#aemond targaryen fanfiction#modern aemond
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I ran across your post about how some theories could be good if people took off Tommy hate bias and I was curious on how you’d think 911 could handle a buck finds out how Tommy used to be and if actually goes south arc? It’s something I see bounced around but it’s also another theory that isn’t handled well at all by people who hate Tommy but I guess if they wanted to break them up I could see that causing an issue as well.
So I think for this hypothetical it would be triggered by Gerrard saying offhandedly that Tommy “used to be on his side” or something and Buck remembers the time Tommy said “I had Gerrard, which did not make me a better person.” Because both Buck and the audience are primed to know Tommy is ashamed of the guy he was under Gerrard it’s not going to be as simple as Buck (famously a man that refers to past versions of himself like “Buck 1.0”) decide to break it off then and there because Tommy was hostile to Chimney once upon a time —after all he knows they’re friends now.
So really the way I would see it “going South” would be Buck prying (like he always does with Eddie) and Tommy getting more and more defensive because he “doesn’t like to think about the man I used to be.” And Buck would push and Tommy would push back and Tommy would get upset and say something like “The man I was is dead. Let him stay that way Evan.” And Buck would leave it alone but bring it up to Eddie or Maddie or Bobby or Hen and they’d have hard conversation about past mistakes being difficult to talk about.
Of these people I think the best narrative choice would be Hen: she has things in her past she regrets (Eva being the big one) and she saw Tommy grow; she’d be the best one to say whether or not Tommy is still the man that didn’t stand up for her or if he’s the man that reported Gerrard on her behalf. If I was writing it I’d be sure to emphasize that Hen didn’t forgive Tommy right away but she grew to trust him from his actions. I’d have Hen say “I mean at first I didn’t think Gerrard leaving would change all that much. It was still a boys club there, but part of the reason that Captains didn’t stick around that long til Bobby was that if any of them had a problem with me, Chim, Sal, and Tommy would be right behind me every time. The Tommy I met wouldn’t have been going to bat for me like that so I can tell you he’s a different guy.” Then she’d bump Buck’s arm and say “The kind of guy I’m cool with one of my friends dating.” And Buck would say “but h-how do I get him to talk about it? I don’t want him to feel like he can’t talk to me.” And Hen would say “Sometimes it’s not easy to talk about the mistakes we made with the people we love. When’s the last time you told someone about you and Lucy?”
Ultimately I don’t think the show is going to have Tommy from 2010 be the reason they break up, because the show has had far too many examples of people with really shitty pasts learning and growing. Remember that just last season had an arc about Bobby reckoning with a man whose wife he killed and the complicated nature of forgiveness and healing. The show would much rather have Tommy acknowledge his past (the way he already has) and show how he has improved.
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Unsettling
Inspired by this post. I wrote this late at night, zoning out on cold medicine while attempting to recover from a booster shot, so I can’t vouch for the quality 😅:
Dinner had been going great as far as Buck could tell. He and Tommy were still in the figuring it out stage of things, but a meal with Chim and Maddie felt like a step in the right direction; at least, up until the moment his sister unsuspectingly guided the conversation into a minefield.
“So, Tommy,” she began between bites of salad, “I have to say, I was really surprised when my brother told me about your date — not so much in terms of the pronouns of it all, but because the way he told it, you were way more focused on Eddie when you two met.”
Tommy shrugged, pushing around the remainders of his own plate, “Course correction’s a skill you hone when you’re tangling with baby gays— not that I’m sure Eddie even counts in that department. At this rate he’s essentially embryonic. Like, indefinitely.” Maddie cocked her head to the side, whatever follow up she may have had fading away into a loaded silence that descended over the room.
“H-huh,” Chimney chuckled unevenly, “well, uh, I don’t want to speak for anyone that’s not here but I’m pretty sure—“
“Wait,” Buck interrupted, brows knitting together, “You were trying to date Eddie?”
“Uh, yeah,” Tommy replied, as if it was painfully obvious, “At least, until I realized where things stood with him, and then I—
“Course corrected?” Buck finished, “With me. Your second choice.”
“Oh, like I’m not your second choice. Seriously, Evan, don’t be dramatic.”
“Maddie, honey,” Chimney broke in, rising out of his seat, “why don’t we go get dessert ready?”
“Ready?” Maddie repeated, eyes darting between her brother and his date, “It’s already—“
“What are you talking about?” Buck pressed, far too preoccupied with his burgeoning confusion to notice Chimney coaxing his quietly protesting sister out of the room.
Tommy rolled his eyes, pointedly setting his fork down, “Oh come on. Eddie’s on a special level of oblivious— and I mean, no surprise there, Catholicism builds its closets nice and sturdy— but you can’t expect me to believe you’re just as clueless, Mr. Trying to get my attention by pulling another boy’s pigtails.”
“Wha— No,” Buck sputtered, his breath hitching strangely and tripping him up, “Th-that wasn’t about Eddie. He’s not even— and even if he was, we’re not… I mean, we wouldn’t.”
“Right, because you’re scared it would burst the little bubble you two live in where you can have your cake and call it normal friendship,” Tommy concluded, his tone once again gratingly matter of fact, “Face it. A relationship with Eddie is heavy lifting from any angle, so we both opted out for each other, no harm, no foul.” Buck blinked, momentarily stunned into silence as his mind tried and failed to construct a solid counter to the conclusion Tommy had all but thrown in his face. All of it made sense, perhaps more sense than the raw foundations of yet another relationship built on someone else’s initiative and his own need to reach for any degree of being wanted, no matter how scant. The truth of it all stung and made his heart beat faster than he could stand, but at the same time there was something freeing in all that chaos.
“He’s not,” Buck managed softly.
“Gay?” Tommy replied, “Right, and Elton John just needs to meet the right girl.”
Buck shook his head, “No, I mean, he’s not heavy lifting or whatever you said. If you think that, you don’t know him at all— a-and maybe you don’t know me either if you think I’d feel that way.”
“Ev—“
“It’s Buck. And if all of this was settling then I guess you were right the first time: I’m not ready.” Tommy eyed him for a beat before sighing and pushing his chair back from the table.
“At least you’re consistent,” he said as he stood and began making his way to the front door, “A little slow on the draw but still miles more self aware than your buddy. I’d say good luck pulling him out of Narnia, but I’m not gonna hold my breath.” Buck didn’t respond, instead opting to drop his gaze to the floor and let his racing thoughts drown out his surroundings until he felt a hand on his shoulder.
“I’m guessing you heard all that?” He asked.
“Sorry,” Maddie said, giving his arm a gentle squeeze, “The acoustics down here are pretty unforgiving, privacy-wise.
“Sorry I ruined dinner,” he muttered.
“Technically,” Maddie reasoned, “I started it, so—-“
“I vote we blame no Buckley or Hans ,” Chimney said, dropping into the seat Tommy had vacated, “and we call this a win because screw that guy. I’m all for second chances but that dude’s practically on his fourth and he just keeps blowing it.”
“What am i supposed to do now?” Buck asked, turning to look up at his sister.
Maddie offered him a small, tight-lipped smile, “it’s like I said before: whatever you need to do, you’ll do it in your own time.”
“Right, but what if I screw it all up? He’s going through so much right now already and I don’t want to be one more thing he has to deal with.”
“I mean, maybe him going through things is the silver lining, you know? He’s figuring out his future and there’s room for you to work out where—not if— you fit in all of that. Because, for what it’s worth, I can’t picture a scenario where you two don’t figure it out. I can’t promise it’ll go the way you want it to, but I think you owe it to each other to talk.”
Chimney nodded, “As a daily witness to you guys being… well, you, I second that. And who knows? Maybe it all does work out. You communicate instead of fighting in a supermarket or shoving each other on a basketball court, and before you know it, you’re up close and personal with that glorious mustache of his.”
“Oh, Howie,” Maddie scoffed, “that mustache is definitely just a phase. One that maybe proves my point, but a phase nonetheless.”
“You bite your tongue. It’s beautiful and here to stay.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. Is there something you need to tell Eddie? Or, his facial hair?”
For the second time that evening, Buck let the conversation fade into the background of his thoughts; or rather, the one thought that all the rest had melded into.
He loved Eddie—was in love with Eddie— and as terrifying as it was, the truth of it loomed too large to be reburied or ignored. He didn’t know if time and talking were the remedies his family made them out to be, but if there was any chance at all in them, he was stubborn enough to find out. The way he saw it, he’d practically been holding his breath all this time without knowing anyway, so what was a little while longer if it meant Eddie at the finish line? Unlike a certain helicopter pilot, Buck had the stamina not to settle.
#buddie#buddie fanfic#short fanfic#anti bucktommy#anti tommy kinard#no shade if you ship it#this just isn't for you#and thats ok <3#I hope it was ok that I spun the og post into a mini prompt#if not let me know#I will send this into the ether
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hi i have an eddie diaz request!
so eddie and the reader have been dating for a while, she’s also a firefighter with the 118, and after that special about them that taylor did aires, her abusive ex comes to find her. it’s kinda like the maddie and doug situation where he was looking for her since she left and she doesn’t tell eddie until something big happens and he has to save her which causes her to tell him everything.
thank you
all too well - e.d
summary: request
eddie diaz x reader
a/n: sorry for the unnecessary taylor slander in this i’m her biggest hater!!! warning for domestic abuse, very similar to maddie in season 2.
it was an innocent new segment. that’s all it was supposed to be. an informative post about the fire station 118 and how they work. taylor and her team had sauntered their way through the firehouse, gazing at the engines and the shiny structures that surrounded them. she recorded anything she could, despite requests of space and those who didn’t wish to be recorded.
y/n had been one of those, out of her relationship from her ex boyfriend. she was in active hiding, fleeing across the country to get away from such a man. he had been watching her every move, and she’d been meticulous in concealing herself. she’d heard of the situation maddie was in, dealing with the uncertainty of her location and condition. it was nightmare fuel, the thought haunting y/n in her sleep as she lay next to eddie at night.
she wanted to be able to tell him, but the more people who didn’t know, was better. she figured she’d be putting him in danger if eddie knew, especially the people around him. if something happened to eddie, she would never be able to move on from the life she wants to put behind her. the discarded ring of a man who was never truly her fiancé was something she needed to forget about.
the moment she saw the news segment had aired, her heart dropped. she fought to have herself removed, but that was not what happened. taylor removed other details of the day gone-wrong, but didn’t remove her identity. y/n had voiced her concerns very clearly to taylor and eddie, and eddie was pissed that no one would listen. she panicked as her name was splayed across the screen with a clean view of her face, easily recognizable. she knew he was looking for her.
she tried to reassure herself, but the joke was on her. she was now sitting in the familiar car with the disgusting smell of cigarettes and the sick excuse of a man. she was jostled awake in the moving vehicle. she didn’t dare to mumble a single word, her body frozen in fright.
“morning, sleepyhead,” the raspy and evil voice entered her ears.
“what did you do?” she managed to spit out.
he laughs grimly, in a tormenting manner. “you really thought i wasn’t going to find you? i’ll give it to you, it took a while but i finally have you where i want you.”
“why are you doing this, mark? i didn’t do anything to you.”
“you said we were supposed to be together. and you lied, y/n. you know i don’t like lies. like, come on, were you that stupid?”
“you kidnapped me in this car. i’m not the stupid one.”
“whatever you say, princess,” she moves her hand up to brush the hair out of her face when he grips her wrist painfully. “but if you ever say anything like that again, you will never go back.”
her eyes remain dry, feeling completely numb as she continues to stare forward. “you literally left me no choice! i love you! you love me and you just left me? you turned into a monster, a selfish, backstabbing person and it’s not my fault!”
“no, it’s not,” she complies, almost giving up entirely to make herself feel worthy. she plays into his act of the hero, when he’s been the villain in disguise.
he had driven her two hours out of los angeles, taking the backroads to avoid any interaction with people. y/n, in a complete terror, tries to formulate a plan in her head but everything is shut down by her own fears. “i have to use the bathroom, mark.”
“what? why?”
“because i am a human, it’s not like i had the chance before we left.”
“shit, fine. say anything and you’re dead,” he threatens, pulling up to an empty gas station with only a few workers inside. he lurks around, pretending that he’s browsing the selections. she speeds to the bathroom in the back, which looks like it hasn’t been occupied in years.
something in her mind switches, so she grabs a pen out of her pant pocket and searches around for anything she can. her eyes land on the paper towels, madly ripping one off and clicking her pen. she writes a message on it, prepared to hide it in her sleeve as they walk out. idiot she thinks.
“y/n!” mark bangs on the door. “c’mon, we have to go!”
she turns the sink on and off and discards of any evidence. she grabs the door and takes a deep breath, and swings it open to be confronted by the towering figure. she felt like he was feet taller, but he wasn’t. she had been so used to making herself feel smaller that she forgot the feeling.
the workers in the front had noticed the discomfort on y/n’s face. they could make an accusation, or believe that someone else would do something. “would y’all like to buy something?” one asked.
y/n looked at mark, scared for anything he react to. y/n steps closer to the counter, “yeah, can i get a pack of marlboro?”
“sure thing,” the other says and grab the pack of cigarettes from the back. he places it in front of her as y/n fishes for her credit card, swiping the note she’d written under it. somehow, marks obliviousness had missed the piece of white under it. she praised whoever made him this ignorant. after the machine dinged and the payment was made, mark grabbed her hand and moved out of the small store.
“i’m sorry,” she immediately begins to apologize. “it was a distraction to them.”
“whatever, get in the car.”
the workers had found the paper on the counter, all folded up and ink spilling through the back.
call 911, ask for sergeant athena grant.
two hrs out of la, gray toyota, license plate 2R7-983
the first man blanked, not knowing what to do but his suspicions were confirmed. the woman was not safe, so he did what he was told on the paper. he dialed 911.
“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?” the soothing voice came through.
“uh, i’m in solvang, and we just had a couple come in and i think the woman needs help.”
“did you get the name of the woman?”
“the name on the card was y/n, i didn’t remember any last name. she had y/c/h, about y/h tall, and she left a note asking for athena… grant?” this man was properly trained for emergencies, giving all the important details and steps they’d need.
“and what’s your name?”
“tyler,”
“ok, tyler, did she mention anything else?”
“yes! she mentioned a grey toyota and the license plate.”
“perfect, can i have the plate number?”
“it says… 2R7-983.”
“did she seem distressed?”
“yeah, she was scared and she looked tired and, i don’t know she just looked like something was really wrong.”
athena had taken the information, instantly realizing the name. she knew y/n very well, from bobby, eddie, and just being in the system she had been around her. she loved her, y/n was a great person and was good at her job. she was a gracious human, never leaving an ounce of disrespect in her tracks.
“grant!” her chief called. “we got a call from dispatch requesting you on a case, we’ve got a woman named y/n, domestic abuse concerns and she left a note with your name on it?”
“y/n? as in y/l/n? with the 118?”
“i didn’t want to assume, but i believe it is. i looked at her files and she’s had some past calls with a man named mark peterson, believed to have taken her.”
“son of a bitch,” she curses. “do we have an idea of where they might have gotten?”
“they were seen in solvang, two hours out.”
“so we get personnel out there asap?”
“exactly. we get out there and get this guy.”
y/n and he had stopped at a small inn, getting a room and a hideout for the night. he used a fake name for the both of them, lying through his teeth to the receptionist at the front desk. y/n was forced to put on a fake smile and a thrilled appearance, which she thought she should win an oscar for. they settled in the room, and she slowly started to accept her fate.
back at the home, eddie was in a slight rush. she hadn’t responded to any texts or calls. she claimed they would meet up the next day, but there were no traces left of her. externally, he put on a cool front for his son, but internally, his heart was sprinting. she could be anywhere. she could have a dead phone, or she could be dead herself. he tried not to think of the former, but he couldn’t stop himself.
eddie had loved y/n the moment she stepped into the station on her first day. he didn’t think he had any more love left to give. but, she shined her radiant smile and her adorable personality and eddie was head over heels. he’s been through hell with shannon and everything, and he wanted to never take anyone else again. y/n showed him a new side, making him realize that he needed affection, and she was more thankful to give that to him. he felt like the best version of himself when she had been with him the past few years, and that’s all he needs. he couldn’t let himself breathe until he found her, calling anyone who might know. until, he finally resorted to the police, calling athena.
“hey, athena,” he rushes out. “y/n, i- i don’t know where she is and that’s really unlike her, so-“
“diaz…” she says, making anxiety rise in eddie’s body.
“what? what happened? is she ok?”
“we believe she was taken,” eddie’s heart sinks to the floor, immediately turning his blood cold. “do you know a mark peterson?”
“no, never heard of him. i’m going to find her,”
“absolutely not, eddie. we are finding her now,” athena tries her best to ease his terror, but it fails.
“then i’m coming with you, i’ll be at the station in 10.”
eddie sits shotgun in athena’s police car after he got carla to watch christopher. he couldn’t stop his leg from bouncing up and down and his fingers to quit fidgeting. athena takes note of this.
“she’s going to be alright, we’ve got a lot of evidence for this.”
“we don’t know where the hell she is, we have no answers.”
“you’re right, we don’t. but you think she’d want you to lose hope on her?” eddie looks at her, staring at her eyes on the road before turning his phone on. he’s confronted with a picture of y/n and christopher together, pure smiles on their face as his world is out of touch. it’s only on a screen, and there’s nothing he can do about it.
y/n sat, frozen on the bed of the hotel room. she was completely burnt out, thinking that she was stuck with him forever. that news segment. if only she wasn’t shown on the fucking news segment, he wouldn’t have reappeared in her life.
his fake smiles and taunting words had become nothing but useless ones. she was living in her nightmare of having to deal with him, but she thought back to eddie.
every single memory they’d made over the past few years came flooding through her head. from her teaching him how to cook, to their first kiss, to last night where she was in his arms. it was beyond her comprehension that this much could happen in 24-hours. the time of her shifts, her normal routines that she longed for right now.
it wasn’t until mark heard knocks on doors, asking how many people were staying there until she was snapped out of her thoughts. she noticed the red and blue lights from outside the window as mark swore to himself. “fuck! get in the bathroom, y/n.”
“n-no, i wanna stay here-“ she argued as he complained back.
“get in there now! i’m not asking you again, or i swear to god, y/n…”
the darkness in his eyes was what forced her to stand up, but leaving her jacket on the bed and taking her shoes off, leaving them in clear sight. the knocks got closer, before the own piece of wood separating them was banged. mark opened the door casually, like nothing was going on. it always scared y/n the most. the way he could put up this front and act like some innocent man.
“hello, officer!” he said politely. “can i do anything?”
“hello, sir,” athena said, knowing he was the one to be holding y/n. “may i just ask, how many people are in this hotel?”
“just me, miss.”
“alright, i see. i saw this room was booked for two, and i’m assuming those articles of clothing aren’t yours?”
mark stops right in his tracks, wanting to pull y/n out of that bathroom and reprimand her for leaving her stuff. his face dropping, he didn’t know what to say. athena knew it too.
“mind if i take a look around? missing person warning, we have to be sure.”
his expression did not change, but he panicked on the inside. he was a quick man, but not quick enough to prevent athena’s abrupt hand against the closing door. she pulled him out, pressing him against the wall as she called for backup. “better luck next time, mark. let’s have a few words, you have the right to remain silent…”
y/n’s fingers were pressed in her ears, trying to block out any of the commotion or yelling that might’ve commenced. she’d already heard too much tonight, scared to traumatize herself any further. the noise concealed by her hands made her not even notice the opening of the door, and fearful to turn around and see his face again. she had been crying violently on the cold tiles of the bathroom, praying she’d be out of this mess. y/n’s instinct was to flinch at the hand pressed against her shoulder. eventually, she realized it was a humane one. she slowly turned herself around, locking eyes with athena. “we’ve got him, y/n.”
she sighed out in relief, but also in preparation for the storm of tears pouring out of her eyes. her hand went to cover her mouth in disbelief. she’d been hiding from this man for years, and she finally didn’t have to. she knew for a while that she wasn’t really free, she was just away from him. at last, the game of hide and seek ended, and it’s all going to be different.
her hand connected with athena’s, pulling her off the ground and out of the room. she was brought outside, lurking around the parking lot in desperate hopes for someone she loves. someone who’s touch can heal any wound. her dreams came true, when she saw eddie walking toward her.
“eddie,” she gasps out.
“y/n!” he runs closer, scooping her up into his arms and kissing her face frantically. “oh my god, i’m so sorry, mi vida, i’m so, so sorry.”
“i should’ve told you, i should’ve said something.”
“no, no, it’s not your fault. it never has been and it never will be.”
“i was so scared my life was over again. that i’d never see you or christopher, or hen or chim and buck or bobby and-“
“hey, calm down, ok? it’s all going to be ok, i’m here,” eddie doesn’t let go or let her release herself from his arms. she looks him dead in the eye, making sure he’s real and that she isn’t just searching for an answer. “they’ve got him, you never have to see him again. you won, baby.”
she won. she won? y/n didn’t feel like she won. the whole scenario still felt like a twisted prank, but it wasn’t. it was real, and she ended it. the years of making herself smaller and degrading herself because of one man were over. the time where she was continuously proven as less than had stopped.
she has eddie forever now, so if anyone had won, it was her.
#911#911onfox#bobby nash#eddie diaz#evan buckley#evan buckley fanfic#athena grant#henrietta wilson#evan buckley x reader#evan buck buckley x reader#eddie diaz x y/n#eddie diaz angst#eddie diaz 911#eddie diaz x reader#eddie diaz fluff#eddie diaz x you#eddie diaz fic#eddie diaz fanfic#eddie diaz oneshot#maddie buckley#howie han#chimney han#chimney 911#911 fanfic#may grant
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Never Left Me: Part 4
SUMMARY: As Lauren and Madison help their dad clean out the old farmhouse, they unearth memories of their childhood, and long-buried feelings come to light. A conversation with Madison brings Lauren face-to-face with the past she thought she had moved on from, while an unexpected moment with Tyler in the attic forces her to confront the unresolved tension between them. As they sift through old keepsakes, Lauren begins to question the choices that led her away from home—and from Tyler.
OTHER PARTS: Prologue I Part 1 I Part 2 I Part 3
WARNINGS: None
WORD COUNT: 2.4k
If you would like to be added to any of my Tag Lists please feel free to comment, send an ask, or send a DM and I'll be happy to get you added! (I currently have one for Glen Powell & His Characters, One for Bradley/Rooster now, and then a third for WWE/Wrestling. I also can create one for Bucky & other MCU characters if there's interest for more of those characters!)
The next day Lauren and Madison dive into the overwhelming task of cleaning. Dust dances in the beams of sunlight coming through the kitchen window, and the sisters work side by side, scrubbing countertops, rearranging furniture, and sweeping the corners of the living room that had gone neglected. Their dad had focused so much of his energy on caring for their mother in her final days that the house had slipped into a quiet disarray.
Outside, Tyler is working on an old tractor in the barn, the familiar sound of tools clinking against metal carrying through the air. Every now and then, Lauren catches a glimpse of him from the window, and she feels that familiar knot in her chest but shakes it off as they move to the attic.
The attic smelled of old wood and time, the air heavy with memories as Lauren and Madison worked through boxes that hadn’t been touched in years. Lauren wiped her hands on her jeans, brushing off dust from an old photo album when Madison suddenly called out.
“Hey, look at this,” Madison said, pulling a photograph from one of the boxes. She held it up, squinting at it through the soft light coming through the attic window. “Oh my God, I forgot about this!”
Lauren glanced up from where she was folding some linens. “What is it?”
Madison turned the photo around to show her. It was a snapshot of the three of them—Lauren, Madison, Tyler, and his sister Tess. All of them were standing in front of a barn, covered in dirt, grinning like they had no care in the world. Tyler had his arm slung around Lauren’s shoulders, and they were all laughing, the kind of laughter that only came from endless summers spent together.
“Remember this?” Madison asked, laughing softly. “We were so close with him back then.”
Lauren’s heart squeezed at the sight of the photo. She remembered that day vividly—how Tyler had helped them with some farm work, and how they’d ended up in a playful mud fight afterward. It had been one of those perfect days before everything changed. She forced a smile. “Yeah, I remember.”
Madison watched her closely, her amusement fading as she saw the look in Lauren’s eyes. “Okay, spill it.”
“Spill what?”
“Don’t ‘spill what’ me.” Madison leaned against a stack of old boxes, crossing her arms. “You’ve avoided this place like the plague for eight year and you’ve been acting weird around Tyler since you got back. It’s like you’re avoiding him, or I don’t know… something’s off. What happened between you two?”
Lauren stiffened, her hands pausing over the stack of linens. “Nothing happened. We just...drifted apart. It’s been eight years, Maddie.”
Madison’s eyes narrowed. “I remember that night, Lauren. The night he brought you home late. You weren’t just upset, you were devastated. You can’t just brush this off as ‘nothing.’”
Lauren swallowed hard, the memories pressing in on her. “It’s ancient history. We were just kids.”
Madison wasn’t having it. “You didn’t cry like that over nothing. I heard you in your room that night. You were wrecked.”
Lauren’s walls were crumbling, but she wasn’t ready to let them fall completely. “It’s not important.”
Madison scoffed. “Lauren, come on. You’ve been acting like there’s a ghost following you around ever since we got back, and I’m betting it has a lot to do with that night. Just tell me what happened.”
Lauren hesitated, glancing down at her hands. Why was she doing this? Why was she still holding onto the pain after all this time? Maybe it was the attic, the way everything in this space reminded her of the past, of a time when things were simpler. Maybe it was the weight of losing their mom. Or maybe it was just that after all these years, she was tired of keeping it inside.
“Fine,” Lauren said softly, sitting down on an old trunk. “I’ll tell you what happened.”
Madison lowered herself to the floor across from Lauren, eyes wide with curiosity but softened by concern.
“It was the summer before I left for college,” Lauren began, her voice steady but quiet. “Tyler and I were hanging out more than usual. We spent almost every day together, and I thought… I thought something was happening between us. Something more than just being friends.”
Madison nodded, listening intently.
“One night, we were out by the lake. It was late, and we’d just finished talking about my plans for Chicago and everything that was coming up. I don’t even know how it happened, but I told him that I had feelings for him.” Lauren’s voice wavered slightly. “I told him I loved him.”
Madison’s eyebrows shot up. “You did?”
Lauren nodded, staring down at her hands. “Yeah. And I don’t know what I was expecting, but it wasn’t… it wasn’t what I got.”
“What did he say?” Madison’s voice was gentle now, realizing the weight of what her sister was revealing.
“He didn’t say it back.” Lauren took a deep breath, remembering the sting of Tyler’s words that night. “He said that if I wasn’t going away to college, maybe things would’ve been different. That maybe he would’ve asked me out, taken me to rodeos with him, but… he never said he felt the same way.”
Madison frowned, her expression thoughtful. “So, he didn’t exactly reject you.”
Lauren shrugged, feeling the same old hurt bubbling up again. “He didn’t have to. He basically said it would never work. And I guess I just took that as him not feeling the same.”
Madison shook her head, a small laugh escaping her. “Lauren, that’s not what he said at all.”
Lauren blinked, confused. “What do you mean?”
Madison leaned forward, her expression serious but soft. “Think about it. He didn’t say he didn’t feel the same way. He just said that your plans were what was in the way. If you weren’t leaving, he would’ve asked you out. He would’ve brought you with him. That’s not nothing.”
Lauren frowned. “But he didn’t say he loved me.”
“Maybe not in those exact words,” Madison said, “but it sounds to me like he cared about you more than you realized. Maybe he was scared, or maybe he thought you deserved more than just a guy from who was riding bulls. But it doesn’t mean he didn’t feel something for you.”
Lauren’s mind was spinning. She’d spent years believing that Tyler hadn’t felt the same way, that her love had been one-sided. But now, hearing it from Madison’s perspective, she wasn’t so sure. Could Tyler have actually loved her back then? Had she misread everything?
“I don’t know,” Lauren said, shaking her head. “It doesn’t matter now, anyway.”
Madison smiled softly, giving her a knowing look. “Maybe it matters more than you think.”
Lauren didn’t have a response to that. She sat in silence, the weight of her sister’s words settling over her like a heavy blanket. Had she really spent all these years believing something that wasn’t true? And if so, what did that mean for her now?
The attic was quiet, save for the sound of the wind rattling the window panes. The sisters sat among the relics of their past, surrounded by dusty boxes and old memories. But in the middle of it all, Lauren found herself questioning not just the past, but the present—and the feelings she’d been trying so hard to bury.
* * * *
The afternoon sun filtered through the small attic window, casting a soft glow over the dust particles dancing in the air. Lauren had been up here for a while now, sifting through boxes of memories, old photo albums, and knick-knacks her parents had saved over the years. She found herself lost in the past, wiping dust from her mom’s wedding veil and carefully placing it aside. The soft rustling of footsteps made her pause, but she didn’t think much of it. Maddie was working downstairs in the guest bedroom, and there was always noise around the house these days.
Then, the floorboards creaked louder, and she glanced up just as Tyler appeared at the top of the stairs, a smirk tugging at his lips. "Need any help?" he asked, his voice casual but with a hint of warmth that made her chest tighten slightly.
Lauren raised an eyebrow, trying to keep her tone light. "You’re supposed to be working on the tractor."
Tyler shrugged, walking over and sitting down next to her. "Took a break. Figured I’d see what you were getting into up here."
She smiled, gesturing to the boxes around them. “Just going through some of my parents’ old wedding stuff. A lot of this hasn’t been touched in years.”
He leaned over, picking up an old program from the wedding, his fingers tracing the faded lettering. “Man, this takes me back,” he said with a soft chuckle. “Your folks were a real example to everyone around here.”
Lauren nodded, a pang of emotion catching in her throat. “Yeah, they were.”
As they continued to sift through the memories, the two of them started laughing when they pulled out an old box tucked into the corner. It was filled with props and toys—bits and pieces from their childhood.
Tyler’s eyes lit up with recognition as he pulled out a plastic tiara and held it up, chuckling. “Oh man, I remember this. Maddie and Tess used to make us play wedding all the time.”
Lauren laughed, shaking her head. “I’d forgotten about that. They always made me be the bride, and you—”
“Had to be the groom,” Tyler finished with a grin. “Every single time.”
Lauren was about to reply when something caught her eye—a small stack of old polaroids at the bottom of the box. She reached for them, carefully flipping through the faded photos. And then she saw it—a snapshot of one of those pretend weddings. There she was, wearing a makeshift veil over her head, standing next to a young Tyler, both of them grinning awkwardly at the camera.
“Look at this,” she said, holding up the photo for Tyler to see.
He leaned in, squinting at the picture, before bursting into laughter. “Oh wow. That’s us.”
Lauren shook her head, unable to suppress her own laughter. “I can’t believe we went along with it.”
Tyler looked at the picture again, quieter now. “We were just kids. Didn’t even know what any of it meant.”
She glanced at him, and for a moment, the playful mood shifted. There was something heavier in the air, something unspoken hanging between them.
“Yeah,” Lauren murmured, more to herself than to him, “just kids.”
Tyler reached out, gently taking the polaroid from her hands, his fingers brushing hers. “Funny how things change, huh?”
Lauren’s chest tightened at the look in his eyes. For a second, it felt like the years between them melted away, and they were back to being those same kids, too young to understand the complicated things like love and life that lay ahead. She quickly looked down, breaking the moment before it could become something more.
“Yeah,” she said softly, her heart pounding a little faster than she’d like. “Funny.”
Tyler smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes this time. “I guess some things never really change, though.”
Lauren picked up another small box, brushing off the dust as she opened it. Inside were old love letters her parents had written to each other during their courtship, and for a moment, she was lost in their romance. Tyler shifted beside her, his eyes distant, like he was somewhere else entirely.
“So,” he said, breaking the quiet, his tone casual but laced with something deeper, “how’s the actual wedding planning coming along?”
Lauren blinked, pulling herself back to the present. “Oh, uh, it’s going. We’re aiming for a fall wedding in Chicago, something small and intimate. Just close family and friends.” She fiddled with a loose thread on her sleeve. “Jonathan’s been pretty involved. You know, picking the venue, the flowers, all of that.”
As she talked, Tyler grew quieter, his gaze dropping to his hands. The change in his demeanor didn’t go unnoticed, and when she finished speaking, the silence stretched between them again.
She hesitated before finally asking, “Tyler? You got quiet…is everything okay?”
He glanced at her briefly and shrugged, trying to play it off. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just... you know, weddings and all.” His voice didn’t carry its usual warmth, and Lauren could tell something was bothering him.
For a moment, she thought about letting it slide, but Maddie’s words from earlier in the day echoed in her mind. She took a breath and decided to confront the lingering tension. “About last night...I left without giving you a chance to talk. And... I’m sorry for that.” She bit her lip before continuing. “Actually, I’m sorry for not letting you talk eight years ago, either.”
Tyler looked at her, his expression unreadable. He stayed silent, and for a moment, she thought he wouldn’t respond at all. But then she added, softly, “What would you have said that summer night... if I had given you the chance?”
He met her gaze, holding it for a long time, as if searching for the right words. Finally, he sighed, a sound filled with years of unspoken things. “It doesn’t matter,” he said, his voice quiet but firm. “It was a long time ago.”
Lauren wanted to push, to ask more, but the weight of his words hung in the air between them. She remembered what Maddie had said earlier—that Tyler had mentioned wanting to take her on a date, to bring her on the road with him to rodeos.
Before she could stop herself, she asked, “Did you mean it? What you told me that night? That if I hadn’t gone off to college, you would’ve taken me out on a date... brought me with you?”
Tyler’s eyes softened for a moment, and he looked at her like he was seeing the girl from eight years ago.
“Yeah,” he said after a pause. “I meant it.”
The confession hung between them, and for a brief second, Lauren wasn’t sure what to do with it. She searched his face, looking for some hint of regret, but Tyler’s expression was calm, resigned almost.
He stood up, brushing off his jeans as if to shake the moment loose. “I should go see if your dad needs help with the tractor.”
Lauren nodded, watching him walk towards the stairs. But as he disappeared from sight, the question she’d been avoiding for eight years crept into her mind for the first time: had she made a mistake by leaving?
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9-1-1 Season 7 Post-Mortem
Mostly because I want to put my thoughts in order. Full disclosure: I'm really not thrilled with a lot of the choices this season made, but I'm also not at the 'fuck this show I hate it now' level either. The primary, overarching issue, IMO, is that they tried to stuff a full season's worth of plot into ten episodes, and the pacing and emotional continuity suffered badly. And also there were some writing choices that were simply deranged (and hopefully would have been reworked had they not been laying down the tracks in front of the speeding train, so to speak).
(Cut for me rambling at length)
So: Bobby and Athena were largely really solidly written. The cruise ship disaster was great: campy and OTT, but in a fun way. Their marital issues and the eventual resolution felt like a natural continuation of issues they've had in the past. Bobby Begins 3.0 was a great episode other than the cartel element, which was some ill-considered racial stereotyping (I've said it before and I'll say it again: you could have had the antagonists in that episode be a bunch of angry locals threatening people for tresspassing on their property, and the whole thing would have been 100% less gross without actually changing much of the plot. Really felt like Tim was cribbing from the similar Lone Star arc, which was also lazy and racist). Amir was a fantastic character, and while I could have done without that last scene of him offering Bobby absolution, I feel like he was generally allowed to be both gracious and rightfully angry. The cop Athena stuff in the finale was... less great, but also to be expected. I would have liked much less of that and much more time spent at Bobby's bedside.
(I'm really sad about the house fire mostly because that was one of my favorite sets, but I do appreciate the poetry of the parallel, with Bobby actually managing to get his wife out this time. Though I do wonder where Harry was that night, lmao.)
Hen was similarly wonderful. I really liked getting to see her wrestle with the responsibility of being captain, and the fallout of the car accident scene. In a vacuum, I actually like Ortiz as a villain - a complicated one, with sympathetic motivations, but still ostentatiously cruel. Were it not for the fact that there are basically NO latine characters other than Eddie who aren't villains this season, it would have been great. ALAS.
Did not love the rescue dog/foster child parallel with Mara. Otherwise really loved getting to see her settle in with the Wilsons, and I'm really glad that we got to see Chim and Maddie take her in instead of leaving her at the group home by the end of the season. Really leaned into the found family element, and Chim taking care of his best friend's child in the same way that Mrs. Lee did for him.
CHIM! Chim my beloved. 'There Goes The Groom' is the one episode that I have basically no issues with at all. The hallucinatory trip through Los Angeles, wrestling with Doug's ghost, was gorgeous. Bringing back Kevin - also gorgeous. I loved that we see the Lees explicitly framed as his real family (and am spitefully glad that his bio dad was nowhere to be found. Fuck that guy.) Kenny continues to be, IMO, the best actor on this show. He killed it. We need so many more Chim-centric episodes, because they're always SO good. He can make both humor and pathos feel so natural and human. Give us more Chim!
And of course on to Buck's bisexual arc, which was... so painfully Buck, lmao. Full disclosure: I have a lot of trouble rewatching 7x04 and 7x05 because the secondhand embarrassment is just too much for me, but objectively it feels very right and in character for him. LOVED the first kiss scene, with his dawning realization of what's about to happen and his softly stunned joy afterward. His coming out scenes with both Maddie and Eddie were lovely and perfectly appropriate to both relationships. I really liked him taking the initiative to reach out to Tommy to apologize and ask for a second chance after he fucked up their first date. Loved Tommy showing up at the hospital after what was clearly a long, miserable shift.
Their date in the finale didn't really land for me mostly because of where it was placed in the episode; if they did something with the two of them after Buck spent the entire day at Bobby's bedside waiting to see if he was going to live, it would have felt a lot more natural to me to have them exhaustedly eating takeout on the couch or something instead of having a formal sit-down date with wine and place settings. Intentionally or not, that made it feel like they're still on Date Behavior with each other and despite some gestures toward emotional vulnerability, they're not quite there yet - as seen by Buck steering the conversation back to flirting and innuendo. My overall feeling on the relationship at this point is that it's cute, but I'm not seeing any real depth of feeling between them yet.
Buck and Eddie on the other hand - look, despite my many MANY issues with Eddie's plot this season, I loved how his relationship with Buck was written. I love the intimacy and familiarity of how they are together, I loved the way Eddie let himself lean on Buck, I loved how Buck is clearly positioned as an integral part of the Diaz family.
Unfortunately, that's really the only thing I loved about Eddie's plot this season. His relationship with Marisol was ultimately pointless; she was never fleshed out enough to feel like a real character, and we never even see the fallout of Eddie's cheating with regard to her; it's all Chris. The Kim stuff strained credulity, and also I never felt like he got any kind of emotional catharsis or resolution through it; he still hasn't really confronted any of his issues about Shannon, about their marriage and how it ended. That whole arc felt really wobbly in terms of tone, as well: using plot elements of a very famous psychological thriller without actually acknowledging any of the creepiness of it. I would have liked it to lean into that more especially with the scene where Kim dresses up as Shannon, an objectively creepy and unhinged thing to do.
The Diaz parents handled the Chris thing in a selfish and opportunistic way that felt both disappointing and inevitable. Hopefully that's going to be a hook for the next season and Eddie actually confronting them, but overall Eddie's plot this season really felt like they just tossed a bunch of balls up in the air and mostly failed to catch them.
Gerrard - look, I'm not that worried about Gerrard. I could have done without him, but ultimately he's going to stick around just long enough to make his inevitable defeat satisfying. At least, that's my hope.
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I had an idea of Buck finding out who Maurice was through Athena months ago. No one gave me that fic, I guess I'd better feed myself. I've never written any fic before, (You read that right, I don't mean for this fandom, I've never written any fic in my life) so I was planning for a short little humorous piece. Well, I'm around 2/3 of the way done, and it's already over 2.5k words long. I don't think I'll able to finish it in the very near future, and I still don't have an AO3 account, so I decide to share the first half of it with you? To give myself the motivation to keep writing?
I just want to get my ideas out there, I'll probably correct the grammar and refine the word choices when I finish the whole thing. Please enjoy and give me feedback. (Gently, it's my first time writing anything fictional outside of high school English exam)
The first time Buck heard the name Maurice, was at Chimney and Maddie’s hospital wedding.
Neither his sister nor his now brother-in-law had much luck in love. Murderous ex, surprise pregnancy, all sorts of trauma, mental health struggle, break up, make up, you name it, they had been through it all. Even on their wedding day, the universe decided to sprinkle in a little viral encephalitis as a last minute wedding gift. Any other couple would have taken all this as a sign of destiny’s disapproval of their relationship, but not Chimney and Maddie. Life kept trying to set them apart, but they chose to get back together, time and time again. Even when they were deep in delirium, when they had lost all sense of self, they always instinctively crawled back to one another, like it was in their very nature to love each other.
Buck agreed with his mother, getting married at a hospital was indeed appropriate. Plenty of newlyweds said their vows just for the sake of traditions, but when Maddie and Chimney pledged to their lives to each other, in sickness and in health, they had their entire relationship to back it up.
Buck was ecstatic, when Bobby pronounced them officially married. He envisioned how the day would be panning out quite differently, but he could not complain. Sure, he would prefer to have his date by his side, but as a firefighter himself, he understood the safety of the city was more important than his own feelings. If anything, on that day, he learned that life would not always let you have your dream wedding, or your dream date, but as long as you treasure and prioritize each other, everything would work out in the end.
Then Tommy walked into the hospital, still in his turnout gear, covered in soot, all apologetic.
Buck just knew he had to close their distance, taste the alluring flavor of smoke straight from his lips.
Tommy came, without stopping by to get changed or to wash up, because the wedding was important to Buck, because he promised to come. Buck once thought duty and romance was a question of either/or, but Tommy made enough of an effort to make them both work.
Buck knew very well how dirty his face must have been after making out aggressively with his date, but he did not care one bit. He had not been this happy for so long, he wanted everyone in the room to see how elated he was. He wanted to wear his happiness on his face.
He briefly congratulated the newlyweds. His sister, like the caretaker she was, pulled out a baby wipe for him to clean up his lower face. He tried his best to wipe off all the soot, then he took a piece a cake and started looking around the room for his date. He found Tommy having a conversation with the Wilsons.
“Hey,” Buck put his hand on Tommy’s lower back, “What are you guys talking about?”
“Just what an entrance you two have made,” Hen said with a smirk. Karen was struggling to hide her chuckle.
“Look at him, can you blame me?” Buck gazed adoringly at Tommy, “I was planning to show him off on the dancefloor anyway.”
“You’re full of surprise, Evan, you know that?” Tommy smiled, the ocean blue in his eyes filled Buck’s heart with affection.
“I’m sure it went a lot better than the last time you tried kissing someone in front of me,” Hen interrupted, with a devilish grin.
“Huh?” Tommy reacted, puzzled.
“Maurice.” The Wilsons were fully giggling at this point.
“Oh no.” Tommy covered half of his face with one of his hands, seemingly embarrassed by Hen’s teasing, “You guys are never going to let me live this down, aren’t you?”
The conversation kept flowing, but Buck was deafened by the thousands of questions in his head.
Who’s Maurice? Why have I never heard of him? Why was Tommy trying to kiss him? In front of Hen too? Was he Tommy’s crush? Who rejected him? No, were they… together?
“Evan?” Tommy noticed Buck’s lapse in focus.
“Uh… yes… yes, Tommy?”
“The cake?” Tommy pointed at the piece of dessert in Buck’s hand.
“Sure… Of course.” Buck handed the plate over. He really wanted to find out more about this Maurice, but at the same time, he recognized the recency of his budding romance with Tommy. Tommy would get around to mentioning this mysterious figure from his past eventually, Buck thought, so he decided to let it go for now.
“Sorry, I haven’t eaten since last night. I’m starving.” Tommy explained, while shoving a sizable chunk of wedding cake into his mouth. “Mmm, this is so good. This is everything I’ve been waiting for.” This man loved his cake, even the soot and fatigue on his face could not hide the genuine joy radiating from his face, in all its crinkly, wrinkly glory.
“The cake huh? Is that all?” Buck asked, flirtatiously.
Tommy flirted back, with his signature deadpan expression but burning lust in his eyes, “Well, I have to refuel my body before engaging in whatever activities await us tonight.”
Buck’s heart skipped a beat, probably from the sudden rush of blood down south. Yeah, Maurice could wait.
The second time Buck heard the name Maurice, was at the medal ceremony.
It was supposed to be a joyous occasion.
Not only did none of them get fired, they were all given medals for borrowing LAFD property and leading a pre-authorized rescue mission off the coast of Mexico. None of that would have been possible without the pilot. Yes, all of them played their part in saving Bobby and Athena from the sinking cruise ship, but Tommy in particular put his career, even his own life at risk just to help a few old colleagues he had not seen for years, just because there might be people in need. Judge him all you want, but seeing Tommy on that stage, being awarded for his skills and heroism, Buck simply could not conceal the fondness and enamorment written all over his face. Bobby and Athena being alive and well, looking like a classic Hollywood power couple, was obviously the most important part, Buck told himself. Although, Tommy being appreciated for the absolute ace he was, while in his dress blue, came as a close second.
The way the rigid fabric splayed across the pilot’s strong muscular body, buttons holding on for dear life against his bulging pecs, pants just tight enough to accentuate the curvature of his glutes, a feature Buck found enticing in all genders. Buck was not alone in ogling the real life erotic fantasy in front of him, about that he was sure, but he took comfort in knowing he was the only one there who got to touch this body, to worship it, to savor every inch of it, to feel it against his own. He might have almost missed his own call to the stage because he was too busy gawking at his boyfriend.
He was looking forward to celebrate this moment with his loved ones, maybe a little foreplay in costume with Tommy too, until Gerrard showed up and ruined everything.
Upon spotting the former 118 captain, Tommy looked as if he had seen a ghost.
The second Gerrard made a limp wrist gesture at Tommy, insinuating a homophobic slur, Buck realized he was more than an ignorant old man. He barely skirted the edge of blatant bigotry just to abuse his targets while staying on the side of possible deniability. If he used merely 10% of his brain power allocated for creative insults, Los Angeles would be a much safer place.
Tommy was clearly upset after their unexpected encounter with Gerrard. He was forking the food on his plate, without eating any, then abruptly, he stood up, “I don’t feel like eating these right now. I’m gonna get some cake, I’ll be back in a minute.”
Buck gave him a forced smile and a small peck to his temple, then he sent his boyfriend to his beloved sweet treat.
“I’m worried about him,” Buck turned to Chimney, “I’ve never seen him like this before, being so… small.”
“Working under Gerrard was not exactly a fun time worth keeping in your memory” Chimney sighed. “Like most of us, it took Tommy a long time and a lot of soul searching to become who he is right now. He did have a fat head back in the days, but I can’t say I blame the guy. Sometimes you do things you’ll regret further down the road just to survive at the moment.”
“Yeah… he told me the 118 was a regressive place back then.”
“Gerrard isn’t just another asshole, he’s an asshole with power, particularly power over his people’s safety. Tommy almost died because of him.”
“I know… Gas explosion, right? He said you saved his life.”
“I guess I did, but hey, Gerrard only gave me one month of KP duty as a reward, so that was a plus,” Chimney snickered, sarcastically.
“He punished you for saving Tommy’s life?” Buck never fully grasped the injustice, mistreatment, and suffering his loved ones faced under Gerrard’s reign of terror. He made a mental note to thank Bobby later for his gentle fatherly guidance.
“That’s who he is, Buck. All power trip, no leadership. I’ve never seen Tommy so scared of somebody,” Chimney continues, “except maybe... Maurice.”
Maurice, this name again. Buck still knew close to nothing about this cryptic individual.
Tommy was very upfront about how abrasive his was in his youth. Having to desperately hide his true self from his abusive father, then intolerant military policy, and finally his homophobic superior, he had learned very early on that the best defense was a solid offense. He was cold, distant, downright rude to anyone and everyone who tried getting too close, to the truth, to his desire, to his heart. So if Tommy was reluctant to share the parts of his life that he was less than proud of, Buck would not try to pry… At least until Chimney told him how fearful Tommy was of Maurice.
“Who…” Just as Buck opened his mouth, his brother in law rose from his seat, grabbing the red wine filled glass with him. “If you’ll excuse me, I have to take this wine to my wife.”
As soon as Chimney left, Tommy returned with a piece of cake in his hand and a subtle smile on his face.
“Heyy-” Tommy greeted Buck in his usual playful tone.
“Hey, feeling better?” Buck was relieved, sensing Tommy’s change of mood.
“Um…” Tommy looked down, seemingly pondering. Then he retook the seat he previously occupied, the one right next to Buck, and hooked one of his feet under his boyfriend’s chair. He gave the chair a swift, firm tug, and in the blink of an eye, the physical distance between them vanished.
“Now I am,” Tommy murmured with his deep, gravelly voice.
Just like that, the rest of the room ceased to exist for Buck. No Gerrard, no Maurice, only Tommy. Buck’s fingers slowly slid towards the strong, burly thigh leaning against his own, but Tommy stopped him on his track, by grabbing his inquisitive hand.
“This is not exactly... appropriate for work, don’t you think?”, Tommy said, without letting go of Buck. “People may have questions if they see us.” His grip tightened, just enough to reignite the fervent desire building up between them since the start of the day. “Hen and Karen asked me just now about my intentions with you, if they are…” He looked down at the shinny medal currently decorating his boyfriend’s chest, and used his free hand to adjust the ribbon, “honorable.”
“And what did you say?” Buck asked breathlessly, almost panting.
“I told them, we’re taking it very slow…” Tommy inched closer and closer. “You’re taking the lead, I’m just trying to keep up…” His lips ghosted over Buck’s cheek, then he whispered into his ear, “Where should we go now?”
Buck responded by simply dragging Tommy onto the station rooftop. With the “no visitors” sign blocking the stairs, it was the perfect place for some private pastime.
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