#like im cissex

[abluehappyface]

Getting some very Cisn't thoughts and they're WAY stronger than usual..?

[dykestache]

🦷👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🧦🦟🍚

[tiredyke]

queer men can never just shut up when it comes to discussions about queer women. they always gotta interject with “um but what about ME and MY ISSUES #misandry” read the room oh my god

[transinclusionary]

Were you the person cosplaying as a transwoman when you are AFAB? Because that's just sick af. I've seen post circulate around you - I just came here because I recently followed you ... and .. now .. Idk ..

I used to used to refrain from confirming my gender with anybody, due to how uncomfortable I was about my gender being a talking point online. I have always struggled with my gender identity. The idea of people focusing more on what's under my clothes instead of the content of my character really bothered me. I believed that since people often call out racism without people assuming they belong to the group they're advocating for, that I could do the same for transphobia. Oppression is not comparable, however, and I realized that this did not work for these discussions. If I am to effectively advocate against terfs and for trans people, I then need to use my privilege as being cis passing in discussions. I don't really love people online knowing my gender, because I dont really know my gender either. But this feeling is the exact same thing trans women constantly go through: the feeling that their gender is constantly subjected to ridicule by any random you encounter, both online and IRL.

I have never said that I was a trans women, merely deflected whenever someone asked me about it. In retrospect, it was a selfish thing to do that I definitely regret. I started this blog as a teenager and it's aged with me to mid twenties. If I could, I would go back and re-do some interactions. The mistakes have been uncomfortable but necessary learning lessons for me. I learned I can not effectively advocate if I keep my gender a secret, because it means I refuse to do the same thing that trans people are expected to do.

I wish I could go back and state what my gender was when it mattered. I didnt know entirely how to classify myself, however, so I redirected any attempts to talk about my gender identity because I myself didnt want to think about it. I dont feel cis, but I also dont feel trans, so how can I tell someone what my identity is if I dont know it myself? However, since my gender identity will never be a trans woman, it wont hurt me to confirm with people as much.

I came to the conclusion that I can not have both my ambiguous gender identity and be a terfexclusionist. I chose to sacrifice the comfort of my ambiguous gender identity, in solidarity with trans people who are expected to disclose. Unfortunately, the world we live in is that we are representatives for our gender (which I think is bs). We all deserve to live as individuals and not spend our short lives worrying about how our life will influence the collective's public perception on others who share a gender identity. Unfortunately, this not how the world operates, especially not online as it pertains to trans people. You speak for members of your gender identity when you're anything other than cis, heterosexual, and endosex. Instead of selfishly denying the reality that trans people are forced to be model minorities, I instead adapted my advocacy to better fit this unfair aspect of life. If trans people are forced to cater to cis people's comforts for their safety, it should be up to cis passing people to (safely) show to cisendosex people that it's not just trans people who care about this. This is obviously a fine line, as you dont want to advocate in a way that might cause more violence than it helps. I'm still figuring out the best way to do that. I make mistakes, unfortunately I am not perfect nor will I ever be. But the mistakes help me learn who I want to be, and not starting this blog with everyone knowing my gender was one of those mistakes.

You're right, cosplaying as trans women is disgusting, I've seen it both IRL and online. It pushes trans people out of spaces designed for them, and that's something I would never want to do. However, my refusal to confirm my identity should not mean people just assume I'm a trans woman. I do not believe trans people should exclusively be expected to call out terfs. It means that cisendo people are not doing their jobs as allies to use their priviledge to call out bigotry.

I never started this blog thinking anyone would actually follow me or even have opinions about me. I definitely did not think "terfexclusionist" or "transinclusionary" would be followed by anyone other than my best friend. This blog initially started because of my (admittedly) unhealthy anger about the absolute refusal of terfs to admit that they are doing is wrong. To this day, the rhetoric that terfs spew almost brings me to tears of frustration. The LGB community makes me want to pull out my hair and scream. This is why I often take extended breaks from this blog. I still probably can develop a healthier way to cope with the anger. I want to do something to help this epidemic, but I'm just one person. I just want to do the right thing, but it is often unclear about what is the right thing to do. This is why I appreciate having my followers give me feedback, both positive and negative, as it allows me to introspect.

If you want to remain followed, that's fine, but do not feel pressured to. Life is way too short to continue following someone you dont feel comfortable with. I am always open to any suggestions, criticisms, and concerns by both anon and DM. This goes for both you, anon, and any other of my followers. Please never hesitate to reach out. I appreciate you (and all my follower) for caring about doing the right thing and keeping me on the straight and narrow. Have a good day.

[genderkoolaid]

in my sociology class ive started just using "transmisogny" to refer to any intersection of transphobia and misogyny because it's just. obviously the best way to describe something. like if I'm talking about a trans man not being able to get a legal name/gender change because he's legally a woman and needs his father's permission, that's transphobia and misogyny. if im talking about a pregnant black trans man dealing with transphobic medical abuse and the knowledge that black cis women die in childbirth at far higher rates, thats transphobia and misogynoir.

the idea that misogyny only affects feminine cis women is cissexism. why in the fucking world did we just decide to keep that cissexism but adapt it for trans people. all it does is reinforce the same shit that has always been used to silence butches and trans people in feminism by saying they aren't the Real Victims & their victimization is only the byproduct of the Real Victims' oppression. we can talk about anti-transfemininity without perpetuating this! i believe in us! it is vital to the survival of trans men&mascs & trans-others that we are able to discuss the potentially deadly impact of transphobia + misogyny on our lives. i am once again begging us to challenge the implicit cissexism in feminism instead of just adapting it

[self-loving-vampire]

im not entirely opposed to TMA/TME terminology as it applies to like. Broadest brush possible type statements (‘TMA people often have x y z stereotypes applied to them’ kinda stuff) but also if we’re putting specific limitation on TMA and taking it to mean transfem or trans woman it’d be a lot easier to just say ‘non-transfem’

As I said in the notes of another post, it's not really "TMA" that's the problem so much as the other term: TME.

There isn't a class of person that is completely unaffected by transmisogyny when even cis men bend their behavior around it to the extent that they do in order to avoid becoming targets. It is a major force in enforcing gender norms more generally.

In fact, Julia Serano's blog had this to say about cissexism as a whole:

[ciswomenofficial]

how are u pro trans woman and a radical feminist? /gen. Ive only heard of radical feminists being basically terfs so im confused.

First of all, what I primarily identify as politically would be an anti-revisionist Marxist, someone who is against replacing ideas derived from Marxist political science with liberal idealist ideas, and against representing liberal idealism as socialist. Because I look at Marxism from an anti-revisionist point of view, I take issue with the modern efforts of the liberal feminist movement to throw away all the important data of the relatively materialist radical feminist movement and write off its gains as “old and stuffy,” which is part of why I chose to emphasize the ways in which my thinking is influenced by radical feminism. Similarly, as an anti-revisionist I reject post-modernism as anti-materialist, liberal, and unable to achieve meaningful positive change, and thus I have skepticism for a lot of queer theory and alternative feminist projects.

Radical feminism historically hasn’t been wholly anti-trans. There has been an anti-trans segment of the movement, and that segment has been growing as the forces of reaction have been growing, and as the movement gets more irrelevant in a context where liberal feminism is ascendent due in part to radical feminisms internal contradictions and failings, but those segments which are in opposition to the anti-trans perspective are still there. Those in this faction are not necessarily free from cissexist biases, but are opposed to trans exclusion. Radical feminism is not a monolith.

I am influenced by several thinkers from the anti-trans to the pro-trans regarding a lot of issues. I do not agree with the cissexist ideas that some of them may have, but there’s a lot we should learn from regarding radical feminist theory. I’m not saying we should re-create the projects of the past 1:1, but we should look at them and see where they succeeded and where they failed. Certainly, with the modern liberal feminist not getting much of anywhere except for roe reversing, we should learn from its failures, but it does not have much to offer in successes—which is partially because of outside forces to be fair, but even then there’s still not a lot of positive lessons to learn from these projects in a situation where those forces exist. On the other hand I think there’s definitely some positive ways that radical feminist projects should inform how we approach gender issues for the sake of women queer and trans people, although they shouldn’t be dogmatically applied.

Additionally, liberal feminism has claimed it is fighting for trans women, but that’s bullshit, as in practice trans issues are just a pawn for liberal feminists to advance a bourgeois agenda that only helps out the richest women enter corporate boards, while entrenching misogyny for the rest of us. They’re using trans people as a pawn against ourselves. We are not in their leadership, and their theories about us are not ultimately liberatory. Liberal feminism only accepts trans women in so far as liberal feminism sees us as a lifestyle choice, or a sexual fetish in its unrelenting obsession with neoliberal choice, and the same can be said of a lot of queer theory (I have some sympathy for certain queer theorist ideas and don’t believe it should be dismissed out of hand, but it is still chalk full of problems due largely to its postmodernism). Radical feminism has no monopoly on cissexism and transmisogyny, especially in a context where liberal feminism is the ideologically dominant strain of feminism. In fact it is the attempts to pretend as such that really served as the catalyst for me to start identifying as a radical feminist on social media. I was sick of seeing trans women, some of whom were more influenced by radical feminist ideas, some of whom came to similar conclusions somewhat independently get swept to the side with words like “radical feminist” and even “t-rf” (censored to avoid the tag), so I decided to lean in to it as a sort of a fuck you against those people.

I guess the short version is that radical feminism has its problems, but that I don’t think it should be dismissed out of hand for that, and still think it’s important to build off of, and additionally that treating transmisogyny as equivalent to radical feminism treats radical feminism as a monolith where it is not, and ultimately just serves a liberal feminist neo-liberal agenda that kills poor and working class women cis and trans, and other working class queer and trans people.

[angelic-transsexual]

its always "gender doesnt matter and gender is fake !" until a trans man is feminine or when a trans women is masculine. dont even get me started on these same people who also get upset when nonbinary people are not "genderless" or are not androgynous. stop creating more stereotypes and boxes to place people in. you want to be palatable for cisgender-heterosexual society. cissexism and cis-heteronormativity is not cool. if cisgender men can be feminine so can trans men. if cis women can be masculine so can trans women. stop acting like the gender police. im not a "faker" because im a feminine transgender man. being transgender is not about gender stereotypes. trans meds are stupid too. you know how many trans meds bullied me to the point of going back into the closet FOR A YEAR because i was told i was faking being trans because i was not masculine ? a lot. so many of you are not accepting. i used to be a trans med, trust me i know what its like to try and be the gender police. just stop it guys. its not going to change anything. you are just sitting here and getting mad at people for being themselves. its getting weird. i thought we were over the stupid transphobic, trans medicalist bullshit that people like kalvin garrah and blaire white has filled into the heads of trans people. stop trying to get picked by the cishets, its not going to happen.

[katrafiy]

hello! i've been seeing talk of how trans women are treated as a sort of third class that is not male or female, and i have to ask if this is not also the case for many non-transfems? as i understand it, cissexism targets anyone who cannot comfortably be forced into the box of "male" or "female" and thus creates a third box that both trans men and women, nonbinary people, and intersex people are shoved into, and anyone in that box is a threat to the patriarchy. however, im wondering if there's a gap in my understanding since a lot of transfeminist literature seems to imply that this is something that really only happens to trans women. im not sure if my assumptions about this "third box" are wrong, or if im just misunderstanding what's being said. any insight would be greatly appreciated!

Hey anon, does transfeminist literature actually say that this is something that only happens to trans women? Is it possible that what's actually happened is trans women have talked about the ways we get treated currently and historically and you have interpreted this as being exclusionary somehow? Genuinely I'd like you to examine if the reason that you asked this question may at all be born from some implicit biases that you seem to have against trans women.

Not gonna lie I'm getting a real "I am feel uncomfortable when we are not about me" vibe from your question.

[desiresign]

there has to be some sort of better words instead of transmasc/transfem cuz everyone changes the definition every day

for transmasc at least

its 'afab people who are trans men in some type of way' one day and then its 'anyone transitioning to be more masculine' (what do you mean by this? to what extent do you mean this?) the next and then after saying that its 'transmascs arent women' (despite the previous definitions including women, whether those who are 'transitioning to be more masculine' or if you are multiple genders) and then its... and so on! it keeps changing every day

it feels like its becoming male/female/nonbinary now its transmasc/transfem new binary and its annoying as fuck, i kind of hate the word transmasc... just because like i said it feels like a new binary people are making

also doesnt help that, again like i said the way people are using transmasc to describe seems to change every second - but people are always stereotyping as a group term - and its like, i am not you, i dont want to be shoved under this label for the sake of a 'relatable' 'meme', i dont like it, overall also just seems to heighten the not-so-secret afab vs amab divide in the nonbinary community, regardless of how much u wanna deny it or being aknowledged of being afab theres still a lot of transphobia and transmisogyny from us against ppl who were amab that is like still a whole lot

(well, the last bit can also go into general cissexism assumptions...)

idk i just. well i dont want people to assume things about me or how i identify, basically??? i dont like it! im not a part of your new version of boxing people ....

im nonbinary and i use several other labels sometimes for more specific gender feels rarely. but i feel like this happens -> nonbinary and goes by a 'masculine' name, must be -> transmasc/? no, no, and dont assume things about me yadont know ok!

[borderlinevamp]

Im not like a good writer but I definitely feel like there’s a link between the cissexism present in the Barbie movies script and how certain fans are big mad that ken got a plot line and ppl liked it.

[iphisesque]

Its not like it's the first time you use a "hyperbole" like this when there are actually lesbians who can get other people pregnant, but maybe that's your thing like fucking your parents or necropholia

im sorry are you saying that my potential cissexism or transphobia is actually lesbophobia. that's so funny that's such a reach. if your issue with my post had been that there are lesbians that have penises and can conceive naturally with their cis lesbian partners (which is a valid point but those were clearly not the lesbian couples i was referring to in my joke post about fertility clinics and sperm banks on account of not everything is about everyone all the time) you would have just called me transphobic which would have been a reasonable reaction. you know damn well you weren't thinking about me excluding trans women but just got mad at the fact that i mentioned lesbians having sex with men despite me being a lesbian myself and saying that in a hyperbolic context as most of my posts are wont to be said. this is tumblr dot com slash dashboard alhamdulillah i dont go around saying this shit irl. btw you should be more careful with my lore the bit is me fucking my MOM you wouldnt want to be lesbophobic and imply id sleep with a man

[oswednesday]

people were talking about sexist tropes and then suddenly people cared about it being transphobic like yeah im sure gdfgd certain kinds of people like Weaponize discourse like if we talk about periods or free the nips or anything else suddenly people want to act like they are The flag waver for cissexism in language well, blow torches you blow torches you blow torches you

[raymend]

like i feel like ive been too obnoxious about how much i want to get on t in the last few months but also like i feel like my life is on pause rn. Like as much as i do think waiting a few years (FOR ME!!! NOT trying to speak for anyone else here) before getting on t was important for me in terms of like getting over internalized transphobia/cissexism and like the difference between "i hate having boobs being in a 'Woman's Body' Sucks" versus "i hate having boobs because ppl will look at them and Think im a woman because of our society associating having breasts with womanhood" and shit like that that helped me build my understanding and respect of other trans people who dont fit into the ideal mold of "passing" as cishet. my point being Like im glad i had that time for introspection but im over it im ready to have a deep voice and facial hair and body hair etc etc like SERIOUSLY bro

[scentedchildnacho]

The woman who approached me by McDonald's wanted to know why I came to Temecula from Vista so I told her to find gender separate shelter......it's been my experience that if bisexuals may be around women despite politically incorrect prison manifestos that conditions rape women logistically physically spiritually and things hidden till bisexuals finally stop picking on women

Its prison research so they don't educate that bisexuals cannot go to spaces considered Freudian or the group gets fucked by the bisexuals rape case hatred and just revenge

Bisexuals are always just cause to revenge on the majority

Picking literally if bisexuals are around you can't experience overt expressions of cissex pride and your skin breaks out and you get boogers

I didn't say all this at the time or that mental care even if Jews is anti semitic and you will get sex trafficked by breeders interested in Muslim deformism research in India

Hare Krishna if your not firm that masculinity cannot with all women not live with women without organized contracts housing can be subtly more volatile then even busy streets and much more miserly scrouge

I told her I knew that homelessness would happen to me in high states of non verbal anxiety when I was younger so I birth controlled my boyfriends for not showing me a financial profile that would keep the baby comfortable....I couldn't have homeless children I don't know how those families do it

There is nothing more delicate than a girl child

People like me do find drug use womanly and view the drug war as primarily about indigenous women vs bolsonero and nuclear NASA teams

Bisexes are weird deranged people in mental situations unbelievably low weights excess tattoos it's im sorry but the Mexican house is over there that's the homosexuals house there and I don't see how togetherness is about private matters

People have explained publicness as Hindus so the public doesn't understand disability as a health normative the way Christians do and it's difficult to not be removed by mayan apocalypse instead of christian sovereignty

[kidrat]

u know what? I do not hate gender. It has been confusing for me but I love being my gender and I love my friend’s genders and seeing all kinds of people find themselves and have fun with all kinds of genders. gender is really good actually