#like im gonna need it to happen soon bc im so tired of being so uncomfortable in bed

[lilbreed1ngdoll]

"could be tonight or in a week" thank you for being very specific bc thats exactly what i was told last week :]

[tradingjack]

guys don't worry the days are gonna keep going by

[redr0sewrites]

One thing I can't help but feel a Sub!Vox would unexpectedly enjoy is getting reminded/teased about the fact he has a safe word he can use.

Like, beyond just the safe, practical etiquette of double checking and making sure everything's still okay, in the scenario that he absolutely is still okay: You got him so worked up, overstimulated, repeatedly sobbing out "I can't"s, only to have you sweetly cut in with a sweet "Do you need to use the safe word~?" (Or any other possible non-verbal "STOP" sign that got agreed upon), and having that answer be "No."

Him getting faced with the fact that he can so, so, so easily have anything that's happening to him stop, should he so wish it, and yet, despite all his whining and begging and crying, he's actively choosing not to have it stop.

Him just getting so flustered by that paradox of him being reminded that he's in complete control over having no control~

YESSSSSS AUGHGHH I NEED TO PAMPER HIM‼️

🥀Cw: smut, sub!vox, safeword mentioned, overstim, not proofread bc i am both sick and tired im so sorry

🥀minors dni

once vox is in subspace, he really is a mess- drooling, moaning, whimpering, clawing at the sheets, and most obviously, crying

to most people this would give the impression that he wants to stop, but in reality, vox very very rarely uses the safeword but fuuuck it is SUCH a turn on for him that the opportunity is there

we all know he has a power kink, and he's so obviously in a submissive position during sex, but the fact that you're the one allowing him to stop if he needs to? it gets to his head

it also opens the door to his humiliation kink, bc nothing turns him on more than being humiliated. the fact that he could so, so easily quit, just walk out and be out of the embarrassing, submissive position he's in but instead he finds himself wanting to be wrecked- more than wrecked, downright ruined by you when he could so easily walk away. the entire situation is exhilarating and arousing to him

he also adores it when you use it mockingly, if you start cooing "aww, poor baby, do y'need to tap out already? gonna use the safeword sweetie?" he's already babbling, pleading with you to keep going, how he's being suuuuch a good boy! and then? well, he's rambling on and on about how he can't stop yet, how he needs to cum! how could you deny him?

vox takes punishments well, but will brat out the whole time, whimpering and whining about how he can't take it. however, the second you threaten to stop, or offer the safeword? he's putty in your hands, drooling and clawing at the sheets, practically begging you to keep going. its the quickest way to get him to completely submit to you without even another word!

vox isn't used to relinquishing control in general, so the power dynamics proposed by the safeword honestly make him trust you even more. even outside of the bedroom, it flusters him when you ask before touching him or when you ask about sex instead of just initiating.

when it comes to softer sex, vox also likes to be reminded of the safeword! sometimes he's just so stressed out that he just wants to be pampered, but he reaches a point where his mind gets so fuzzy he just can't stop :( he's mewling and whining as you ride him, tears streaming down his screen as you praise him, and he doesn't realize how far gone he is until you gently remind him he can tap out whenever he needs to. vox will nod, eyes watery and face flushed, and soon he becomes more aware of just how sleepy he is. he always makes sure you both cum one more time before tapping out, but i can also see him having a bit of a somnophilia kink, so he would probably consent to letting you fuck him in his sleep, with the promise of the safeword still being valid

i mentioned this before in the dry humping hcs, but sometimes, vox will get so needy and horny that he just can't stop, so the reminder of the safeword is often very useful when he's too far gone to communicate but is like 2 seconds away from passing out. but sometimes he likes to be pushed to the edge too, so he won't always use the safeword but gets off on the fact that the option is there

also tiny additional hc, i think he would like to use a meaningful word for a safeword. maybe something related to technology, like radio or something, or possibly electric. like if he started saying electric, it would mean he wanted to stop. or i think he would use a color system, you would ask him what color and he'd say red green or yellow depending on how into it he is or how he's feeling etc etc. either way he wants it to be meaningful and not just some random word- like he wants a sentimental reasoning behind whatever word you choose (feel free to comment safeword ideas so i can use them in future fics 👹)

vox lets out a wanton moan, glitching and panting as he humps your thigh like a dog in heat. he's writhing under your touch, unsure of where to put his hands when all he can focus on is the pressure against his painfully hard cock. its sinful the way he drags his hips, mewling deliriously as he creams in his pants for what feels like the hundreth time, and yet his pace doesn't falter as he ruts against you. he's a panting mess and barely coherent and he babbles, whimpering your name over and over. "fuc- zzz -k, 'm so- ple-zzz-" vox gasps, thighs shaking as you wrap your arms around his neck. his cock throbs when you make eye contact with him and his thighs squeeze around yours. a stain darkens the front of his pants, leftover from his previous release in his dazed rut. "vox," you coo, rubbing the ports on the back of his screen as he struggles to remain coherent enough to focus on your words. "vox, baby, do you need the safeword?" your voice is sickeningly sweet, laced with concern and lust.

vox paused at the thought, dread seeping into his body as he let out a pathetic whine. "nno, 'm fine," he slurred, rolling his hips against your thigh. "m not even tired," he mewls deliriously, and you nod, taking notice of his drooping eyelids and slowing movements. "okay sweetie, only one more round though, okay?" vox nods, tears streaming down his screen as his claws dig into the plush of your hips. you steady him, and you move your leg, assisting him in grinding against you as you shake your thigh. vox whimpers, static lacing his voice as he glitches out entirely. repeating your name like a prayer, his body tenses as he cums fast and hard, soaking his pants yet again. vox collapses against you, breathing ragged as he struggled to keep his eyelids from drooping. "you okay, baby?" you purr, and he nods, slumping deeper into your touch. "lets get you cleaned up, hm?"

UWRGJREHHEHEHEHE I AM ALWAYS IN THE MOOD FOR SUB VOX!!!!!!!!!! i love the idea of being soft w him sm- i genuinely have not written enough sfw stuff for vox so if anyone has anything fluffy to say ab him PLEASE come into my inbox. ALSO IF ANYONE HAS ANYTHING LUTE RELATED TO SAY ESPECIALLY/INCLUDING SMUT ALSO PLS COME INTO MY INVOX BC RUEGRHRGRHGR THEYRE BOTH MY FAVS RN

[onlyswan]

hi art 💓 so im rereading iw couples breakup drabble as one would do everytime shes on her period (its a canon event i think ppl would relate) and i have a few questions!!! 🥹🦋

1. what were the iw couple doing before they were in the car? like did they spend the day only to then break up? i rmb reading that jk was on tour, did he came back and break up w them right away? did he at least get them a present???!

2. what events led him to the decision? we know that prob he’s overwhelmed, the uncertainty of his career and the drabble from where he saw how draining it is on oc. but is there a bigger thing that happened?

3. u wrote that he “practiced” breaking up with oc. like is this true? how long has he thought of breaking up w oc before he actually did it? and how did oc not expect anything??? ☹️☹️

4. who is this “not married yet” girl that jk was teasing tae about? that sounds so saucYY a drabble for that would be super fun!! its gonna be super angsty too!!! hahahahhaha

5. we know jk regretted it right away after breaking up w oc, but why didn’t he backtrack and take it back? i know oc must’ve thought hes crazy but he didnt even call or text first? us reading is comforted by knowing that jk is also having the worst time, but oc doesn’t. yet theyre brave enough to be the one who reached out first, bc for all they know, jk could be with some other people right now, alr over them. did oc know that he’s not that kind of person or deep down they’re just being as brave as they can asking for what they wants which is him?

6. can we pleaseeeee have more drabbles where we can see how much the boys adore oc? or just their dynamic i would say. also do they have a special connection with each of the boys on different things? like maybe a drabble where jk & oc pack a homemade lunch to bring when visiting jin hobi or yoongi 🥹🥹

7. after the initial breakup, were things ever awkward? were there times when oc had to get used to him being in their life again or something less dramatic? did he ever see doubts or worry in oc’s eyes and is the even when he gave u reasons to drabble, the first time they had to address the traumatic event in their relationship? do they ever talk about it now? or laugh about it?

8. what happened with the “someone else i met in a bar turned out to be a jerk”??? when was this?! HAHAHHA jk must’ve lost his fucking mind after learning about this

9. kinda curious has there been a time when jk really needs quality time w oc and just brings her on tour? my dream is becoming a tour wifey so this would hit all the right spot:( esp w how easy he handled the situation from the last drabble of just inviting her to come w him. cutest ☹️

thank you so much for providing one of my comfort fics!! i hope ure having a great day🌷🥹

oh!! also!! i think we’ve never seen iw couple be on a date date, like fancy super dressed up date. is that just not them? can we see more of their date nights??

heyyy beloved i missed you 🥺🥺🥺 omg???

there are two types of onlyswan readers: one - those who reread the period drabbles then they’re on their period / two - those who reread the breakup drabble when they’re on their period 😭😭😭

ALRIGHT [cracks knuckles]

1. he broke up with oc as soon as he arrived back from tour 🥲 like literally. our guy was still jetlagged. he just wasn’t in his right mind at the time honestly. oc hopped in the car thinking they were going to spend time together someplace else but… yk what happened… ofc he got oc lotssss of presents though </3 including those gifts he talked about in the video oc watched before they called him :(

2. at the time they were already making plans about what will happen in the next few years of their career including the m word ehem ehem so. yeah he was overwhelmed and tired and he felt guilty of having to always leave oc + we know how oc is so empathetic so he also felt guilty that they have to carry his burdens as well ☹️

3. probably a month 🤨 but he didn’t actually want to break up with oc yk? it felt more like a thing that he had to do </3 so oc never suspected anything because the way he was acting towards them never changed. he wanted to hold on.

4. LMAOOOOO maybe in the future i’ll get around to that 🤞🏼 but tae was going through it for reaaaaal

5. he didn’t jump out the car to chase oc because him immediately changing his mind would’ve pissed oc off thinking that he was just playing a joke on their feelings and that would earn him a slap on the face 😭 he thought of that. and oc said they wanted to decide for theirself too :( so he wanted to respect that but he ended up becoming too much of a coward to reach out first after that bcs what if oc already decided that the breakup was for the best too 🥲 what if they hate him now 🥲 but he should’ve thought about it more from oc’s pov bcs they were suffering thinking that he alr gave up frfr </3

hmmm joon did talk to them about jk having a hard time, but during the breakup they did ask if he cheated so we know that they have this anxiety :( oc is just our bravest soldier who knows what they want and always tries their best to get it (him) 🫡

6. omg yessss more soon i’ve been thinking about one with jimin too specifically !! oc definitely bonds with each of the tannies about different things 🥺

7. yea, the even when he gave u reasons to drabble was the first time they brought it up again :( after they got back together jk really made efforts to reassure oc and that’s partly because he did see how they became kind of timid when he expresses affection. (i.e., jk saying “i didn’t love you any less and you know that.” and oc not saying anything and walking away instead) (this shit still kills me today sorry)

8. this was oc’s bf before jungkook aka guy with the dirty nails aka the ex who cursed them out like crazy when oc broke up with him (called them a slut) AND ALMOST made oc delete jungkook’s first ever texts to them bcs they lowkey started believing him. (he makes me mad sorry)

9. heeee wanted to but oc has only tried flying out for the ptd la and vegas shows bc the circumstances before then were different :( they were balancing school and multiple jobs. and we know how hard oc studied. they were so committed 😭 but now they live together and oc has a stable job and everything’s just more flexible overall so going with him overseas when he has work there is easy and not a problem at all 🥺

oh ofccc they’ve been on fancy dates esp that oc loves feeling pretty <3 but someone take me on a fancy date first so i can write about it 🤧

this is the first time someone called the giving up drabble a comfort fic lmaoooo this made my day i love you 😭 i hope i answered your questions and thank you soooo much for reading my works 🥺💕

[cogbreath]

its very stressful and painful and honest to god heartbreaking when my mom tells me to avoid stepping in when my dad is being abusive bc she's worried he'll get worse towards her if i do . shit got rlly ugly tonight. im very very tired of having to just watch & hear this shit happen. im very tired of having to pretend it doesnt effect me. im tired of being made to stay out of the way im tired of being told to be nice to that man im really so tired. my whole life basically in this house ive had to live like 😐. i dont think either of them really realise how deeply this shit has broken me apart over and over again thru my life. ive been having to be the Neutral Mediator since my childhood with this. its very distressing for a child to have to tell their own mother that this shouldnt be happening. that its not normal.

i dont think any of them understand how often i/my alters think about Ending It For Good. why woildnt i? do you think the way ive grown up makes a person feel like they even have a future at all? especially when as a kid i was afraid he was gonna try that first and kill us both. i have a deep internal thought that i need to do it before he does ir first

my mom is still talking like shes on voard with having him move out of here soon but like. when is soon. soon is coming, right???

i csnt let that not happjen

i will lose it if that plan falls through

i dont rlly have any drugs or anyrhing to ease myself

i dont know what to do

shpuld i just run away?

i dont have anywhere to go. i have no friends no job nothing like that but this is just so painful to deal with. and. honestly. i cant leave her alone with him. i cant. i know my existence and presence does little to acrually help keep things from going worse; but i feel that if i wasnt here, it would get way way worse

my mom has so many breakdowns abt how nobody wnats to save her or help her

i do

i do

but she doesnt want to LET me. i dont know what she wants. i dont know what im supposed to do anymore. ive given all my advice. i tey to listen to her ans let her vent but its not enough i guess

[babiebom]

Im a Bit curious about who your favorite characters are from the fandoms your writing for (also love your taste in kpop)

PS: k-drama recommendation

- Strong Woman Do Bong Soon

- Until we meet again (it's thai but still good)

- The sadness (Korean film)

- How may I help you

- Mouse

- Lovenest

- Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok-joo

- Style (from 2009)

Ohoohoo~ anon you fell into my trap I love ranting about my faves also thank you(x3) for the recs Strong Woman Do Bong Soon is one of my favorite kdramas and Park Boyoung is like my third favorite actress so I already know your taste is good without having seen anything else also putting my faves below the cut because only god himself can stop me now. (I promise I will try to keep this short and sweet)

Warnings: spoilers for some series, cursing, bit of sus wording and thoughts yknow

Stardew Valley

Sebastian (Sebby/Seb/Loml)

Can you tell that I'm a sucker for grumpy bf x sunshine gf tropes????

Honestly along with the reader insert fic in gonna write(lets hope I finish it) I wanna write maybe a Seb x OC or something idkidk

Of the bachelorettes Penny is my favorite bc shes lowkey me (I sometimes teach kids and I want to have a bunch of them love housewife vibes)

In ridgeside so far Phillip is my favorite mostly bc I don't know the others that well amd im only gifting 6 people at a time and he just so happened to get picked he's so cute I love it when people are passionate about something

In Stardew Valley Extended Victor is the loml like yeah he's a rich guy but he also seems like a huge nerd and I love him

Also Claire(the joja mart girl) my tired queen plus

Also in terms of the kids Yuuma>Jas>Vincent>Trinnie>Keahi

Mystic Messenger

At first I was a Zen girl

Then I was a Yoosung girl

Then I was a Jaehee girl

Then I was a Jumin girl

And now I'm in my final form as a Saeyoung girl

I love him so much my man my man

I played this game for MONTHS like I was at school pulling my phone out to hurry through a chat room so i didn't miss anything

Was waking up in the middle of the night

The chokehold these men had on my PLS

Five Nights At Freddy's

Ok so at first i hated this game bc im a crybaby and it scared me so bad

Also bc I had an intense fear of animatronics and people in the mascot suits as a kid after going to chuck e cheese and being terrified of the things om stage and then getting stuck in a ride its a whole thing omfg

But then security breach came out and I was like oh? Why'd they make the animatronics sexy????? So like the first couple of games I dont have a favorite(except i think Chica is ugly dont hate me) bc like theyre kid souls but since the sb animatronics arent ghost kids indo have a favorite

Which is Monty

I love him he is my gator man<3333 also justice for Foxy I know he would've been cute af.

Dead By Daylight

Killerwise Ghostface is my favorite

And I know its a basic bitch answer but omfg that man could be the cause of my demise and I would say thank you

Also Oni is cool

Also trickster is cute

Womanwise for killer the Artist is my favorite shes so pretty I love her

I hate specifically wesker and the twins I feel like i needed to add this BC I hate them so much also Freddy kreuger but like thats obvious bc its included in my rules

Survivors I love are Leon(again basic bitch answer) Jake Park, Dwight, and theres more but i cant remember r n

For women its Nea(I main her), Meg, Ada, Kate, Elodie, again theres more but I cant remember and my brain is hurting

I do not like feng min or whatsherface the kpop manager lady bc of how people play them

Twilight

Team Edward or Jacob?

I am an Emmett girl

I am also a Seth girl

They have been the loves of my life since the movies came out

When I read the books I liked Carlisle the most <3

Honestly twilight making a comeback was the best tike for me bc of all the new content people were making

I love the series pls

Also again Womanwise Rosalie is the loml

Also alice

Also Esme

Also Leah

Pls the women are so amazing

Harry Potter

Also lemme preface this by saying I do not agree with jkr or anything she has been saying

But I did get into this fandom a couple years ago when i was in high school because of a friend

And I do still love the series but now I only consume fanmade things

That being said Remis Lupin has my heart

Also Fred and George

And Cedric

And if anyone wanted to know my house I am a Hufflepuff<3

The Outsiders

Through and through I am a Dallas girl

Can yall tell my type yet?

When reading the book I was also a Johnny girl and I literally wanted the best for him and was so mad When he DID NOT GET IT

Now that I'm older that entire situation is bullshit

Like as a 22 year old that still lives with her family the thought of having to take care of myself plus younger siblings with no help and also have the house where everyone hangs out stresses me out

Like I love my little sister but i am so glad my parents have raised us to have and keep jobs even if we hate it bc I know she would help me with everything

Like I know Soda helped as much as he could but GOD bad situation for everyone

Johnny did not deserve the ending he got

The Walking Dead

Okay so lemme just say that I am into dilfs this is a dilf loving safe space idc

Rick can get it and him being lowkey insane is attractive (do not be like me pls)

Love his long hair

Also had a crush on Carl when he was in the show (he is a year older than me im not a creep)

I have not gotten to later seasons so maybe there are still cute people idk i need to re watch

I also hated Lori and Shane with a passion

I still do

I cannot imagine hooking up with my husbands friend of my friends husband or whateverbskkakslal

I will rant on and on about this it genuinely makes me mad

I do however love Maggie and Peggy(is this her name? The sister?) We love country girls

I am a Michonne simp through and through

I am a simple lady

Cool woman with sword? Count me in

Once Upon A Time

Though I hate Regina I find her so attractive its not even funny

When I was younger i had a huge crush on Peter Pan

Now rewatching I am a Captain Hook Simp

Also Mad Hatter

Also Ruby

Also Graham in season 1 if anyone remembers him

Gawd these men

Ruby number 1 IDC IDC

Also Mulan

PLEASE

I have also not gotten super far in this show

Marvel

I'm gonna just list my favorites bc like I already feel super exposed and im writing all of this in one go bc I am so excited to share but my phone is broken

So number one is Steve im so mad he went back to Peggy but at the same time he deserves happiness

Number two Bucky again im a basic girl and tragic men attract me idk

Peter loml so cute also the only spiderman movies ive seen dont kill me

Wanda love her still have not seen Multiverse of madness last thing i watched is wandavison

Loved pietro

Thor my bb

I cannot think of any more

Doctor Who

I guess this one is going to be different because I have only seen new who and I do not dislike any doctor at all so i guess imma just rank them

9th(watched his season twice once when I was younger and was just getting into the show and then once a couple years ago when I committed to watching the show)

11th

10th

12th

13th(I do not hate her I am just new to her bc I am still on her first season since i procrastinate to make the series last longer)

Then i guess I'll rank the companions bc again I dont really dislike anyone

Martha(best girl i love her so much)

Donna

Amy

Clara

Bill

Yasmine

River(literally going to name a kid River bc of how much i like the name)

Graham

Rose

Jack

Ryan

Nardole

Rory

Mickey

Criminal Minds

Spencer Reid

I have had a crush on this man since 2005

Since I was FOUR YEARS OLD

The first time i saw him I fell in love

No one will compare to my love

Hotch is a close second I do love my dom daddy(I am so sorry for saying this)

Penelope is also my love but in a platonic i would kill someone for her kind of way

Also Emily

White Lotus

Okay so lemme start by saying

Season 2 >season 1

The only people i like im season 1 are Tanya and Belinda

Everyone else are kind of dislikeable

Well the rich guys wife is fine but shes not my favorite

Season 2 however i like like half of the characters

Obviously Tanya is on the list bc she is so funny

But Ethan is my favorite especially later in the season bc again guys like that are my thing

Also Harper but mainly bc of Aubrey

Then Daphne is the loml and she deserves better

And Lucia my bb

And Valentina

And Albie even if he seems like a "nice guy"

Love these characters

WE HATE GREG IN THIS HOUSE

Ouran High School Host Club

Takashi Morinozuka has my entire heart love this man

Honey is just me but male

And Haruhi loml pls shes so cute but also she tries to be the best person I love her

Also Kasanoda(and in the manga the girl he ends up with is kinda cool)

This again should also just be a ranking bc i love all the characters but im gonna limit myself

Kuroshitsuji

Again imma give a basic bitch answer and say Sebastian

I know hes a demon

I know he would hate me bc duh

But pls sir

Give me one chance

Also the undertaker

Also Agni

Also snake and joker

Grelle would be my platonic soulmate shes so funny

I also would like to protect Ciel(not the twin like not the real ciel or whatever I mean our ciel)

Like I understand that he basically siccs his demon on people and had them killed

But at the same time in my eyes he is literally just a traumatized little boy and i feel so bad for him

I know hes fictional but if i could change what happened to him i would

Finny is baby

I have typed for too long pls

Also thank you for asking this<3 feel free to ask other things and request stuff!!

[thrill-seeker-if]

i literally had the WORST dream last night yall... i gotta tell someone to get the embarrasment off my chest but okay OH AND ALSO TW FOR DEATH AND MURDER

so like i could NOT for the life of me get to sleep, but then i finally felt like i was, i closed my eyes and not even two seconds later i felt like i was seeing this bright shining light in my eyes. and so i opened my eyes a little and realized I was looking at a sky, and I was also like being given a piggy back ride or something??? and then i realized im in a dream (i usually lucid dream) and so i was like okay fine ill just go along with it. but then the person giving me the piggy back ride SPEAKS and he's like 'you're finally awake, huh?

and the voice sounded familiar and i was begging that it wasnt him but i looked over and nope it WAS it was my crush from like three years ago BRO I HATE THAT GUY

so i said something like 'not this shit' and oh god he had the personality of a romance novel guy so he smirked and said 'what, you're not excited to see me?' and so i knew i had to wake up RIGHT NOW but it wasnt WORKING LIKE IT USUALLY DOES

and so he said something like 'woah, are you constipated? ill let you off my back, dont get my clothes dirty' so i realized he could see the expressions it was taking me to wake up???? so i said uh yeah i need to be let down RN im having terrible indegistion so he let me down and then i started SPRINTING but it wasnt very easy bc apparently i had been thrown in the worst dream ever and i was wearing this big fluffy dress, a corset, and heels??? anyways i was running to look for a cliff cuz y'know how in dreams when you die you wake up? but i couldn't outrun him bc in real life he's a very excellent athlete (never ever like athletes not a good idea) and so he catches me like right away so im like BRO LET ME GO I NEED TO LEAVE and then he awares me the ONLY way we can leave is if i join him, and so i had to weigh my opinions: either go along with the most embarrasing dream ever, or get mauled by a bear or bit by a mosquito or something. I mean we were also in this gigantic forest so i was like fine. if you dont get me home soon tho im gonna kill us both.

and so we walk for days. i ask him questions which he answers but i dont remember any of the answers, i was in so much distress. anyways it feels like days have passed and he's STILL acting like a cringe guy from a romance novel so i am trying to stay as far away from him as possible.

and so again im sick and tired and i just wanna WAKE UP bc even when im sleeping in the dream IM NOT WAKING UP IRL so eventually i SNAP and i scream at him WHEN ARE YOU GETTING ME HOME WTF

and so eventualy he was like 'okay well i was taking you the long way but there's also a short way.' and so when i ask him he says that the short way is KISSING HIM WHAT????

and he KEPT PESTERING ME FOR DAYS LIKE I WENT TO THIS TEMPLE SO I COULD SAY I WANTED TO BE HOLY CELIBATE FOREVER AND HE STILL PESTERED ME I WAS TRYING SO HARD TO WAKE UP IT WAS A NIGHTMARE I HATE THIS GUY!!!

anyways then he tells me its my DESTINY???? HUH??? and so i tell him no and then he like tells me it'll also save the KiNGDOM?? and i got this scene of the king fucking POISONED???? and that it would help the poor little peasants who were suffering???? to appeal to my moral judements??? and so i ignored him for a couple days and one day i was leaving for the medieval market and he was like 'cmon just one lil smooch' and i was like OKAY FINE ILL KISS YOU WHEN I COME BACK and i went to the store

when i came back i told him lets get this over with and as he leaned close and closed his eyes i pulled out the weapon i got from the store and killed him and i THOUGHT IT WOULD WAKE ME UP

but it didnt happen and i was just surrounded by this huge crowd of people and like kids were crying parents were covering their eyes everyone was horrified and then i looked down and i saw my old crush's skin MELTING OFF until he turned into this way hotter guy??? and basically i got arrested and then some monks came and they explained that basically i had just. killed the person they considered a deity??? and then i realized in the temple i had seen him painted and there was a mural of him in the store so i was like.... oh....

anyways i got imprisoned as a religious criminal and then his freaking older brother showed up and he was WAY hotter than his younger brother and i couldnt even get through the explanation until he decided as punishment he would send me to hell to do different tasks

anyways after a couple months i finally convince him that his brother had set me up and i didnt know and yeah eventually he finds out the 'destiny' his younger brother was talking ab was like if he did get to kiss me he would be able to go into my world and take over my body???? anyways he was gonna apologise to me so he organized this nice thing but the idiot left me alone in whatever hell he owned but the problem was he didn't. kill me to take me to hell. so the lore here is the demons in this world eat mortals so i, the completely alive person, when he left me for five minutes, was torn to shreds. yeah. it was the worst dream EVER BRO

[kunikame]

rant & slight idolish7 spoilers warning !!!!!

i verbally cannot describe how much comfort i7 brings me, genuinely. no matter how many times i watch it i just dont get bored of it, instead i notice new details and see new meanings behind certain words, scenes and actions. i love the characters so much ... theyre just so ... so adorable and relatable, you cant avoid them growing on you. the songs too !!!! the songs and characters make me so so happy, i adore them !

sogo and his violent impulses 😭 its always the quiet and composed people i swear. him collapsing from stress is very relatable. i admire his reasoning for doing music, i wish i had the same resolve HAHAHA except i vant even bring myself to tinker with my piano anymore :,)

tamaki and his childishness. it might be annoying to some, and he is very hard to deal with for sogo, but i think its endearing. hes self aware about being a bit on the dumber side but still tries his best .. i just wanna give him a hug and headpats and i hope he and aya get to be together again soon :( let the siblings be happy fr ...

yamato and his sincere want for the others to be happy and successful. what started out as a revenge mission became genuine affection toward the other 6 and i think thats amazing. he just gradually took on the role of the older brother/tired dad without even realizing and now hes stuck with them doing his best to ensure their happiness because he genuinely loves them :(

nagi and his comedic relief and wise moments ! i think nagi is reduced to simply comedic relief by most as he is just a silly pretty boy 80% of the time but hes actually very smart and theres so much we still dont know about him !! i sure hope we get some insights to him soon. and haruki aswell !!! i need to know more abt their friendship and the songs and everything !!

iori and his cute traits. he may be the youngest but he acts like the most mature (after yamato and sogo ofc) and his sincere want to ensure the success of i7 is admirable if im being honest. i adore his less composed moments though! makes me realize even picture perfect people have their quirks :) i love his friendly banters with riku and how he likes cute things and stationary and how he takes care of riku and mitsuki and and i love iori a normal amount i promise

riku and his sincerity. whatever hes feeling, you can just tell. hes so easy to take care of and while he might be insecure, hes really what holds them all together. he just shines as their center and hes so precious and his energy just makes you all warm n fuzzy and his smile just radiates joy and . i wish i could keep him in my pockets and carry him around.

mitsuki and the way i relate to him. the insecurities and being swallowed by them, running away from my problems and being the 2nd choice or not even a choice at all, not feeling good enough and just being average at everything i do, always being outshined and everything. hes so effortlessly funny and precious and i love his energy and his pretty smile and the way hes just so .. sunshine. yknow? i kin him can you tell

i could talk about i7 for ages but this is tumblr and not a fic so nobody will read it anyway HAHAHA i feel like im writing a diary entry or something. i could go on and on about how happy this show makes me even if i cry because of those specific mezzo n mitsuki insecure arcs but im gonna keep it short for this post haha

sorry i nerded out on the tl! if you read this i hope i piqued your interest in i7 (if i didnt still thank you for reading!) and if you didnt i hopr you have a great day after scrolling /gen

maybe one day when someone asks me abt i7 irl ill go on a longer rant and my eyes will sparkle and ill wave my hands around animatedly while talking about the show but then ill realize im rambling and im probably annoying and theyre not really interested but theyll be looking at me and asking me why i stopped talking except that wont happen bc fics arent real and i genuinely am annoying to most people HAHAHAHA !!!!!!!!!!

[jovishark]

sorry to bother if you dont want to answer thats totally fine, but i havent listened to mbmbam in a while, whats been happening with travis saying "huh" ?

[disclaimer: this is not what i would put in a review but im saying this here bc its not intended for them to see. yes i know the mcelroys are all real people and i know their podcast is twelve fuckin years old and i know they all try really hard. but here goes]

well. basically travis is the one who picks the questions and everything so he sees them days in advance of recording. any time (since around the 400s) griffin or justin finishes reading a question or a statement or a press release travis immediately goes HUH. like hes considering it. but he never gives the message any room to Breathe so you know hes not really, hes just making a noise to let them know hes still in the room or that he has an opinion. he instantly sets the stage as 'HEY its me and im here, and i think im very funny'

and its not even just that its like. he doesnt give them any room to talk anymore. and when they do he interrupts them either to steal their joke or "posit" his own and Griffin Himself has pointed it out multiple times that travis needs to let them talk and contribute and travis goes riiiiight rightrightrightright BUT let me just- like no. dude come on. its making it hard to listen to but Also it sounds more and more like griffin is just so tired and mumbly because hes just waiting to get interrupted

and i used to really like travis!! in the Thank Travis For Travis days yes i thought he was really funny because sure his joke was that he was self centered but it was because he actually had something to say. his advice was tempered and sometimes informative and sometimes a fun joke but it was BALANCED with griffin doing a funny voice or justin pointing out some down to earth stuff. now its like. hes doing the same joke about being the greatest, but worse, since he steps on both of them to make it? he butts in with a joke thats not funny and expects them to pick up the pieces

literally in like. episode 605 or 604 he brings up "i am the Quintessential Millennial Dad [Cis Straight Man Edition] because i listen to matchbox twenty while i mow the lawn" and griffin and justin just. sat there. and eventually moved on while travis kept saying oh, i thought that was gonna be- that was a bit, because see, you guys are also millennial dads who- no? okay, i just thought- oh, okay AND it was incredibly weird and dumb and awkward. travis is getting really performative and not in a fancy takes flight way, but in a way that like. you scroll past on twitter. in a way that you roll your eyes at and hope it stops soon. but for some reason hes decided that not only will he make the podcast all about him but he will do it using buzzwords that most people on tumblr would blacklist And he will do it in direct defiance of both griffin and justin asking him to please not

when jesse thorn made that ad that says 'mbmbam is good now, i promise' i think he spoke too soon. justin and griffin arent without fault but at least them reading press releases and other peoples articles to me is a pleasant audio experience. travis just tramples bits and makes the same bad noise and only picks questions hes interested in because he thinks he can worm a story out of them when really all hes doing is making me buy youtube music

tl;dr he interrupts so much and so badly it makes me visibly uncomfortable

EDIT: i will add to this that i KNOW travis has adhd and impulse control. i know this because he brings it up constantly as an excuse for acting like this. he says its a thing hes had since childhood but it only manifested on mbmbam 400 episodes in, so? i dont know man. im not going to get into anybodys mental illness but yes im aware of this as a thing and id like to say its an explanation but not an excuse for ruining a podcast you and your brothers spent a decade on

[b0mblover]

Hate, in Every Sense of the Word.

By: J

major tws for; suicide mention, domestic abuse, abuse, sexual assult mention, murder mention, (really just alot of violence tbh) self harm mention

uh, sorry? that theres so many tws, ig also minor tw for mention of sex too.

uh haha i uh, can you tell what happened tonight? it wasnt even the worst one, just, im tired of it.

talk abt living out of spite bc mannnn, thats all i been going off of for a good while now!

i uh, i really wanna make a certain food bc um. (LOOK I WANNA MAKW A LESS OILY FUCKER OKAY) but my father is awake meaning my mother will be too soon but im scared to even go out of my room bc theyre prob gonna fighttt.

hhhrbd okok ill shut up for now, go ahead and read the angry jirou bullshit ig 😭

(oh yea, if it wasn’t obvious. im talking about my mother in this.)

——————————

yknow,

you havent been a great person

or a good one even.

yet you still question as to why i dont love you

or like you,

maybe you have an idea of how much i hate you.

maybe not

i dont really care about your feelings.

at all.

not now.

i put up with this for fucking 14 years.

my entire fucking life.

ive put up with your shit.

but now?

now im done.

you have no idea how badly you fucked up.

when he said that “im sorry im a fuck up” 

yknow.

he mightve not been right for what he did.

but,

it was just a mistake.

it was a goddamn mistake.

you have any idea how many times ive uttered those words too?

how many times ive repeated them?

how many times i fucking meant it?

just because you “had it bad” doesnt mean shit to me.

you have no goddamn right to treat others the same way.

dont give me that “i dont know how else to act!”

bullshit.

bullshit you dont.

you treated your damn boyfriend just fine!

you had a goddamn kid

you had two goddamn children.

with this man that you fucking DESPISE.

you knew it back then too.

you told me you did.

you fucking told me.

almost nothing can compare to the anger i feel to you right now.

nothing.

you have no right to act like that.

no.

you have no goddamn right to hit another fucking living being.

for such a simple mistake.

i dont care if he talked about it since friday.

i dont give a fuck if he talked about it for months.

you.

you as a goddamn human.

have no right.

none.

in the slighest.

to hit another living being.

for talking about something in your eyes “too much”

or making a mistake.

youre a hypocrite.

need i remind you?

you said that after you broke up with the man you were having an affair with.

that youd be a better person.

stop the fights.

stop the beatings.

stop all of it.

and everything would be okay!

.

i didn’t believe you for a goddamn millisecond.

youre a liar.

just how you said i was.

you didnt quit.

you didnt stop.

hell two months after you hit him again!

you threatened to kill him and yourself!

cmon.

dont you get it yet?

i fucking despise you.

maybe to a degree i feel shocked.

but.

i really dont think thats it.

youre the root of my problems.

every single last fucking one.

——————

need i remind you as how i had to learn to cook, because you were too busy with your damn boyfriend to help me?

.

need i remind you how when i tried to show you that i was fucking cutting myself when i was 9 you only talked about how it looked ugly?

.

need i remind you about how many times you said that you didnt care if i hurt myself as long as no one can see it?

.

need i remind you about how you ignored the rope burn on my neck god knows how many times?

.

need i remind you how you denied fucking multiple peoples sexual assault because “it couldntve been like that”?

.

need i remind you of how many times i almost had to be hospitalized because of your neglect?

.

need i remind you of how many nights i spent alone, in the cold, in the dead of winter, just because you wanted to fuck your boyfriend?

.

need i remind you of what you yelled at me so many times?

.

need i remind you of what i seen?

.

need i remind you of how many times you blamed your abusive behaviors on medication?

.

need i fucking remind you of my entire purpose?

.

i dont care about your feelings anymore.

i gave up years ago.

but now.

i dont feel just numb for you.

i hate you.

in every sense of the word.

.

i dont care of what you or anyone else thinks of me.

.

i dont care about what you think of my appearance.

.

i dont care if you think im too thin or fat or whatever word youll use next.

.

i dont care about what you think because you’ll hate me no matter what.

.

you thought id stop being xxxx when you broke up with him.

you yelled at me.

no.

you fucking screamed at me for weeks.

im tired of even putting in the slighest effort of acting as if i fucking care.

i dont give a fuck about you.

and yknow?

if.

no.

if it would work.

if it was possible.

id fucking kill you.

id stab you.

right here.

right now.

to end my suffering.

to end his suffering.

all of it.

id end it all.

i dont care if its wrong.

because i know no one else knows about whats going on.

yknow.

only one person around here knows what youve done to him and me.

and i havent even met her in person.

yknow.

the people i used to be close with from school.

only just learned you had an affair.

i know that.

the police are do-less.

since you know them.

and hes a man.

not a woman.

it wouldnt be taken seriously.

that he should just fight back.

yknow.

youve ruined what life he has left.

his parents beat him.

his ex wife beat him, and cheated on him.

and here.

youve done the exact same thing.

yknow.

he’ll never get to see how love truely is.

because of you.

because of what youve done.

i cant say i really like him either.

but.

that doesnt give you the right to ruin his life.

.

yknow whats worse?

how i know the only reason that so far youve never dared to lay a finger on me.

is because ive proved that i won’t hesitate to beat the fuck out of you right back.

i know i joke about that night.

but.

really.

hitting you for doing that was the best decision i couldve made.

its kept me safer than i wouldve been for years. 

and even now.

if you were to as so much to touch me.

while in a fight.

id do it all over again.

you maybe 100 pounds heavier than me.

but you dont know how to fight against someone who wont just sit there and take it.

i wont forgive you for what youve done.

even if he will.

.

i want nothing to do with you.

get out of my life for good.

[khodorkovskaya]

09.10.23

so ive been feeling very mentally challenged today so im gonna complain to you guys about it.

so i have this thing with swimming idk how to explain it but like i find swimming so mentally exhausting. it's kinda like washing my hair. like i need to mentally prep for it and it's absolutely tedious, even though it's not supposed to be. idk if it's a sensory issue around water or wet clothes or idk what. but it's just like exhaaausting. so in the summer whenever my friends invite me to go swimming or rent a pedalo or something like that i always make up a billion excuses.

(last week it was my bestie's birthday and she loves swimming so i was like okay, im gonna go swimming with her, it's not a big deal. and it wasn't a big deal becasue i like mentally prepared for it for over a week.)

so here's the thing. my friend lucien has one of those inflatable motor boats. (but his is a military one obvs, cos he's like obsessed with military things, we love quirky special interests.) and he spends all of his free time on it, like he's obsessed. literally every day he's like chillin on his boat. and he's been asking me and my bestie all summer to come on the boat with him. thankfully, we couldn't coordinate bc one week she was on holiday, another week i had my period, then we were both busy, etc. the boat never worked out. and as summer came to an end i was like phew, no boat for me, thank god. but my bestie was a bit upset cos like she loves swimming and she really wanted to go on the boat. but like whatever, there's always a next time.

and this weekend it was 25+ degrees so lucien got the boat out again. and he messaged me on saturday like "hey, boat tomorrow?". and he's been asking me for so long and plus my bestie really wanted to go so i was like okay sure, let's get the boat over and done with.

and lemme tell you, i was dreading it. the night before i was like ughh i don't want to do this please god make the boat not happen. but the weather was lovely, the lake was calm, the boat was inevitable.

and okay, i feel so spoiled. because there i was, on this super cool boat with my friends at the lake chillin under the sun. and i hated every minute of it 😭😭 like idk what it is with me and water. but like i really hate being wet (in the literal way lol!) and being in/near water is so exhausting for me. and at the end i was soooo tired. i went to bed at 9pm and slept for 12 hours, that's how tired i was. like when i tell you, i find water activities exhausting, this is what i mean!

but that wasn't all!

even after 12 hours of sleep (or maybe because of it), i was still exhausted. i had this insatiable hunger, i wanted to eat allll of the carbs. and i had my skating lesson at half past two today. so i was like jesus how am i gonna skate? like i swear, being on the boat the whole day with no mental prep like destroyed me!!! so on my way to the rink i bought a pain au choc with ovomaltine for energy and it woke me up a little bit but mentally i was still not there.

needless to say, skating wasn't great. i was super stiff and shaky. and it sucked bc i look forward to it the whole week and today i really wasnt able to make the most of it.

then i had to go to the shop cos mum had a meeting. and this man came in and wanted to buy a 30chf shirt with a 200 euro note. so i calculated that it's 190chf, so i need to give him 160chf change. and idk if you guys understand, i cannot do mental maths (dyscalculia?? i can't read numbers either, it's a whole thing). i struggle so much with it. my brain goes into 90s dial up internet mode like "beep beep KHRHSHSHHSHHHHHH". it stresses me out so much. so i did 190-30 on the calculator but as soon as i started to hand out the change, the man told me i was doing it wrong. and, because i suck at mental maths, whenever customers tell me ive given them the wrong change, i tend to trust them. so i got confused. and distracted. and i had tunnel vision bc i was still feeling super exhausted. and fyi i have adhd, so this was hell. and i couldn't figure out how much i owe the man or how much i had already given him. and guess what! he ended up scamming me for 80chf!!!! i feel so stupid and terrible. i really shouldn't have accepted the 200 euro bill in the first place, it's such a basic scam technique. like this is first grade cashier safety, but i was completely zoned out. and we lost 80chf, great 😑

then this woman came in. and here i go back to being a weirdo. because i have a lot of trouble recognising faces. at school when id see my classmates outside of school like even at the bus stop, they'd say hi to me and i wouldn't recognise them, it's that bad. and at the shop we have returning customers ofc. and i always feel bad for not recognising them. what's worse is that we have a lot of russian/ukrainian customers and no offense to them but they all look the same. they're all blond and they're all called something like natalia, svetlana or tatiana. and this lady comes in and i say "bonjour", she says hello in russian and it's already awkward because i was suposed to recognise her. she had a bag of clothes to give to my mum so i was like "sure, i'll tell her when she comes back". and i had to ask for her name (it was natalia ofc) and it was awkward bc im sure we've spoken like 100 times before. but since i was so mentally tired i just like couldnt be normal.

then i went grocery shopping with my primary motivation being that i needed to buy vegetables for dinner. did i get the fucking vegetables? ofc not, i forgot. and had to go back.

like im just so tired of being like this. i wish i could just like go swimming like a normal person and be attentive and not socially weird and not have worse short term memory than my grandma with dementia, you know what i mean?

[starsmuserainbow]

𝕘𝕖𝕥 𝕥𝕠 𝕜𝕟𝕠𝕨 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕒𝕦𝕥𝕙𝕠𝕣

name : Star or Starfire

pronouns :  she/her

preference of communication : I don't know, IMs and/or Discord I guess? Though I'm a little hesitating on giving the latter away - feel free to ask though

most active muse : Uh, I'm always feeling Lightning and Moonshot a lot, so probably those two? Not really most active as in the most things I'm doing with them, though, sadly (also Mar'i currently kinda after the edit I made a few days ago)

experience / how many years : I'm not sure if I should count the guestbooks I did with a friend and my brother all the way back, so I'm just gonna say after that. My actual real public experience started on here, which is... almost 8 years by now.

best experience : Probably the time where I was able to throw out replies way faster than now. I usually managed to do all my replies every day, even if it were like 5 or so that I got back that day - such a difference to now. Also of course a lot of threads with people would be candidates for best experiences, but I don't wanna choose anything there so just all of the RPing on here in general.

rp pet peeves : Not really RP, but, I feel so tired of seeing a dozen posts raging or panicking about something tumblr does as soon as they do a post of some sort. Especially when it then turns out a misread or miswording of them or whatever, like this very recent 'panic' about them removing the chronological dash (which, I've seen multiple tumblr-people and the staff blog say is not the case) - don't get me wrong, I'm also not for an algorithm taking over by default and I think giving people a algorithm-dash by default for new accounts is kinda wrong and bad bc that's not what tumblr is (and if you don't know how to curate your own place then what do you even know, sorry but it's so easy and self-explaining and I just don't get how people wouldn't know about all of this by instinct), but, I don't see reason to panic or rage there. It's just what websites need to do, and we'll either find ways to live with it or, as much as I don't want that, another place to go to.

fluff, angst, or smut : Fluff and angst both, probably - I enjoy some piece and quiet and niceness, and challenging situations or pain are entertaining to have and write, too. No smut bc, well, I think most people knowing me know that by now, I just don't do that stuff.

plots or memes : I'm usually very bad at sending in memes. I think the reason for that is me always trying to pick something that works for me and can be continuned, but I'm also aware that not all memes are always continued and that's kinda already, lowering my urge to send, and then it needs to fit and I need to feel like not being a nuisance to people at that point --

uh, yeah. Point being, I'm very fine with both plots and memes, and I'm still trying to work on sending more memes to people, but most of the time if I am to initiate something, it'll probably happen through IMs and plotting. I'm always very happy to recieve memes though!

long or short replies : I think I prefer it if it's a bit longer than the very short things, but otherwise anything is fine. I'm not always able to make my replies very long either, it just happens. I think it shouldn't be about the length. As long as you write into your reply what you want to say and I do with mine, we should be good.

time to write : I... usually write during my evening. I don't know what else to say.

are you like your muses : I think it's probably normal that every muse has a piece of the writer to a degree. I could name things that I could see of me in my muses, but the list would be too long, so I'm just saying that there probably would be some thing I could list for each, but not as much to have them be me or something.

tagged by: @vartouhix - thank you!

[dingdingdongthebitchisntgone]

Baaack.

Well. Im looking at trailers for me and D to live in my family land. But bc they can't work and it relies on my income alone,,, yeah we cant do that. I had a fuckin mental breakdown bc of im so tired of people saying i should kick d out and i refuse. Hes my fuckin best friend. I dont care if he doesn't have an income. Yeah it would be nice, id have a lot less stress on my shoulders but fuck i know that'll never happen. So i manage. But he wanted me to actually tell him my problems and be honest. So i did. And now he thinks hes useless. When no hes not. Hes just now starting to be happy in general and now. Im Scared hes gonna be right back to how he was before Because i finally cracked. But I don't know. Hes gonna start therapy soon, has a doctor's apt next week .

But i feel like the moment i try to impose "i work you have to keep the house clean" its just like my fucked up parents. I try to clean it bit i only have so much time off between work and.. work.

I need a second job to keep us afloat but d says no that itll kill me. And yeah it will. But im ok with that as long as i can get us set up where he can live on his own.

I'm so tired all the time. His birthday is tomorrow and i have to get a cake and everything 😭. But all i really wanna do is pass the fuck out till monday so i can stop being to tired to exist

[also-ennoit]

one thing i have noticed this semester is that most people don't understand my need for silence or my need to study (at the end of the day, i actually love learning in my own private space)

Im very quiet and i get overwhelmed easily and so im not gonna always be down to socialize or go out and people think that I am mad at them or i that i hate them. I also sometimes think that I have the energy bc I want to do stuff and as soon as i get there, i realize that i actually didn't want to go and then i feel bad for not being able to have fun like everyone else and so i'm still learning how to be more comfortable with setting boundaries.

i tend to end up with people who don't share the same academic goals and aren't introverted so i feel a bit concerned or even weird that some people can't just sit down or that they don't study a whole lot. some people comment on how studious i am but they don't study at all so ofc it's a big difference and bc there isn't events going on every single day, the only thing to do would be to study (at least that's how i am) bc i'd rather be productive and prepared for class and tests then to wake up super late and be on my phone all day and having to do something every single day.

i then i end up feeling exhausted and singled out by those people bc im diff and like i know that being diff is not a bad thing but it becomes really annoying when people point that out a lot and i feel like i should change to fit in better (which im tired of doing). and i know i'll "meet the right people" eventually but i've been hearing that all my life and im just so tired and frustrated that i can't relate to the lives that my siblings and friends live.

and now that im typing my thoughts out, i can see that im comparing which is ofc is not healthy and i just have to continue to find love within myself for myself and to not give up on other people and also understand that i am very mature and a lot of people are not so i think that also plays a part bc most people (as of rn) are very childish and immature and they don't understand that i just simply do not care for unnecessary things and im not gonna waste my energy on it. i also don't feel the need to verbally comment on every single thing happening in real time bc (to me) that's just unnecessary

i have never really fit into crowds, i don't share the same experiences or ways of thinking and talking, my inner life is quiet and relaxed and i dont rely on validation from others who don't don't truly understand me, i don't always understand social situations and so i think where im trying to go with this is that recently i've been shown how different i am and that's okay, people who aren't like me are not gonna understand me and that's okay, because of these differences i need to set boundaries and stick to them and that's okay because i will always practice kindness and it may be expressed in a diff way but that's okay. everyone has shit going on in their lives and the ways that they process it is gonna be diff from how i process things and that's okay

so from now on, reminding myself that being different is okay and if someone is making me feel bad about myself, then they don't need to be apart of my life and that hopefully i will find my crowd when the time is right and in the meantime i should continue to work on myself to become the woman that i want to be..... ok now im done

[iamyelling]

today was a hard day. feeling overhelmed. tired, stressed. dissociated a bit. feeling something else that i don't have a word for.

started out feeling weird this morning. i made a bowl of rice crispies but i had a mere thimbleful of almond milk so used annah's (old) soy milk but it was so sweet and gross i had to throw the whole bowl out i couldn’t stomach it. it might be so old it's gone bad idk. so i only had my tea this morning.

then i left to go get my booster, and pick up my prescription that was ready but when they asked for my covid vaccine card i realized i forgot it at home. so i drove back home, picked it up, drove back. then i could get it. and i haven't gotten the flu shot yet so they did that too. boom boom one in each arm. then i went grocery shopping. then put the groceries away, then took sol to pee. then i was gonna eat something but my body was feeling too stressed to eat, so i brushed sol, to calm down. but then found i found 2 fleas on her and oh then it was flea crisis time

i texted annah and figured out what i needed to buy. texted our friends to let them know for their dogs and since we're seeing them this weekend going camping. and for advice from one friend who is an animal expert. and then another friend is texting me to invite me to go accompany them to bellingham next week for them to get a tattoo. and im receiving texts from this person i went on a weird date with on sunday about what theyre interested in. not gonna talk about that right now that's a whole other thing but yeah. ive been posting horni stuff on lex and i know it's always overwhelming getting the responses but the thing i posted yesterday or whenever it was, is particularly overwhelming and aghghg i feel weird

so i make myself some food at it's like probably 2 or 3 by now, eating some yogurt and granola. then i pack my stuff back up and go to the pet store and get flea meds for the animals which is like $140 bc flea meds are fuckin expensive. then i go to qfc and i can't fucking find the baking soda which annah asked for and i'm going up and down the aisles and no workers are around to ask for help and i just fucking give up and check out and i ask the lady at the register if they have it and she's like yup it's just hard to see and i'm like mhm well i really looked but ok. anyways i just fuckin leave im like trying not to just have a mental breakdown in the fucking baking aisle of qfc and annah can go find it on her way home from work. so i finally get home. then i need to medicate all the animals, and i do that. it's topical and i need to make sure nobody ingests any of it so fingers crossed yall.

finally that's done and i can just relax until annah gets home which is honestly at that point pretty soon.

when annah gets home it's immediately chaos energy of course right. she's all like saying she's itchy because of the fleas just hearing about it while she's at work so lord you know it's going off when shes here. so she had ordered something from amazon and it was supposed to get here but it didn't and it said delivered but it's not here or in the mail room and she was very rightly mad about that. it's happened to her multiple times now that it'll say it'll be here rush prime shipping or whatever and it says its delivered and it's uh nowhere to be found. anyways

then begins her cleaning. she pours this huge box of baking soda all over the carpets everywhere. leaves that to like .. soak in? idk how powder works but it's there. she cuts up the lemon and rosemary she requested i buy for her, puts that in a pot of water to boil with peppermint essential oil. which does admittedly smell nice. then she sprays that all over the house, on the carpets on the blankets on the animals (they were very confused and did not appreciate being misted). oh and at this point i remember that the old comforter my parents gave us that we use as an extra dog bed, which i'm washing for obvious flea reasons, (oh yeah i put that in the wash before getting the flea meds) which did one round in the dryer needs another go on the dryer so that's going and loud and overstimulating of course. then begins the vacuuming. so now annah's vacuuming and needs me there to help move things for her. oh also her thumb is flaring up lately and she has been texting me today that it's super painful. but she needs to do the vacuum, not me. ok so we're doing this, we can't hear each other, its stressful. eventually we finish vacuuming. the vacuum needs to be emptied frequently i think due to all the damn powder clogging our very fancy vacuum up. anyways. for the record i did vacuum almost the whole apartment on sunday because annahs sister is in town from nyc! she took the train all the way here! so i was trying to help get things in order and tidy so annah doesn't feel worried about anyone showing up.

but we get through it. and the dryer is still going and annahs putting the instant pot in a cupboard and i keep hearing this beeping! annah is hard of hearing so can't hear it, it's this inconveniently high pitch tone and she is no help in locating it because she can't hear it. and so i'm going CRAZY trying to find it. i think it might be the dryer ? no. it sounds like its coming from the instant pot but that doesn't make sense because it's not plugged in. i check outside if it's maybe a neighbor and i'm hearing it through the walls, nope its louder inside. i give up and accept that i'm going crazy. i sit down and see on my phone a notification from this app from a company our landlord company hired to give us these sensors for leaks and apparently a leak is detected under our sink. wait no this was before we started vacuuming. anyways. so i am trying to mark it as a false alaarm but it keeps going off! so i just accept that this is gonna go off. whatever. it's not going off anymore but idk it doesn't make sense. maybe some maintenance guy will show up tomorrow to deal with it

finally i am resting now. and i'm hungry but i don't even want to make food im just. ugh

[vigilvntes]

heyyy, it's your girl! back at it ONCE MORE with thoughts because....it has a chokehold on me and I dont have a firm grip of stopping lol. (serisouly, I feel like I need to slow it down a bit)

so I know we talked about how riddler/edward would be teasing the life out of y/n (hero!reader) about "future children" and she's like....not anytimesoon!! BUT, but, let's just imagine for a quick second what would happen if she ended up with his kids. for one, itd would be very chaotic, no slowing down. on one hand, kinda gotta take it seriously because the father of her own children always winds up in arkham but he does manage to break out to visit because he does have a sweet spot for them. on the other, it's a little funny because as they got a bit older, people would ask "well, what do your parents do" of course they'd go on about their mom being a hero and fighting beside batman. however, as soon as Edward enters the picture, it's downhill! the kids just say "wellll....our dad tends to fight mom alot and has a thing about riddles. sometimes he ends up in arkham too but he manages to see us in secret ways." hahah, like imagine parents day where maybe kids bring in their parents and edward shows up with y/n. the teacher is just like "😐 uhhhh....that's a criminal you're with" and y/n's saying "yeah, about that!"

I just KNOW though that edward is a bit giddy when coming into the classroom or even if he's the one who has to pick up the kids because people know who he is and he's thinking "yea! I have kids with a great and gorgeous hero who's also my enemy....walk away! but also thanks for recognizing me ✌✌" in the end, it's all so so chaotic.

-❔

DILF EDDIE DILF EDDIE DILF EDDIE FUCKKK IM SO GLAD YOU SENT SOMETHING ABT THIS BC IVE BEEN THINKING ABT IT THIS IS GONNA BE SO LONG SO LIKE HOLD ON

tw for pregnancy!!!

these two are most definitely not trying to have a baby like 1000% no way are they going out of their way to have a child with each other. sure, they might have spoke about it in their past but that's exactly what it is, the PAST. and with the lifestyles they both lead they probably wouldn't even think that it's possible to be parents at all, y'know since he's always doing villain shit and she's always kicking his ass for it. so if she gets pregnant it'd be an accident

NOW. imagine if she gets pregnant just before he gets taken back to arkham, and maybe she put him there thinking like it's fine i'll see him again soon anyway. like ugh angst okay.

i feel like she would probably just ignore all of the signs to start with and go about as normal, because she'd be kinda in denial about the whole thing. there's no WAY she's pregnant with edward's kid. no way. but also,, yes way because she IS. but she's just like yeah im gonna ignore this because i've literally put the father of my child in arkham and i can't deal with this.

bruce would definitely notice, though. like i know that he would know that somethings up. the lil bit of extra weight (which he would never bring up but he sees it and he know it's there), cancelling plans they have to take down some criminal due to sickness, loss of appetite, feeling lethargic or overly tired. and then the final straw is when he mentions edward to her and she just bursts into tears on the spot and he's like yeah. i gotta go talk to alfred. like i KNOW he would ask alfred for confirmation of his suspicions and advise on what to do, and then the next time she sees him he just slides a couple of pregnancy tests over to her and he's like "you should take those" and she's like sighs. yeah :// and he'd help her a lot too like he's kinda awkward about it but he's there <3

ugh. like. okay. so she'd want to tell him. like desperately want to tell him that she's pregnant and that it's his but she'd just keep putting it off. everytime she builds the confidence to go to arkham or call and ask to speak to him she chickens out because she has no idea how he'll react. so when she tells him, it's pretty much because he's forced her hand.

like IMAGINE he manages to break out of arkham when she's like 4 months along, and he turns up at her doorstep and he's so prepared to tease her about it and be like "ha! better luck next time" and maybe fuck her if she's down but when she opens the door in just a shirt five times too big for her she looks fucking terrified and he's never seen her look like that before, at least not in reaction to him because he's and would never actually hurt her. so he's like what. the. fuck. whenever he breaks out she's like 'yeah, yeah i get it you have brains now kiss me' but this time she lets him in and she's just. eerily quiet. and he hates it. so he'd probably start asking all sorts of questions. "are you mad at me?" "did someone hurt you?" "are you seeing someone else?" and she'd probably break down and be like no please shut the fuck up and she'd shove him away when he tries to pull her to him, and eventually after like 5 minutes of arguing she'd just be like "IM PREGNANT OK?"

"honey, if i would have known i would've broken out a lot earlier"

i think he'd be scared, because she's already so far along but i also think he'd be thrilled because there's no one he'd rather have a baby with. so he'd hold her as she cries and reassure her that everything's gonna be fine and that it'll all work out.

i do think he'd be on his best behaviour while she's pregnant, like i think he'd try very very hard to not have to leave her again because he worries about her and he's protective anyway but now she's having his baby it's amplified. and like, she'd definitely be like "i know i'm in no state to kick your ass but i will call batman do not test me"

he'd low-key move into her place without telling her but she'd be like . i know what you're trying to do. because he stays there every night so he might as well right?? plus the pregnancy makes eddie look fucking delicious and although fucking him is what got her pregnant in the first place ,,, she's already pregnant so it wouldn't hurt. so that's handy.

he'd still do his livestreams though and i think he'd try and keep it quiet, but then she'd be in the background very obviously pregnant and word gets out and spreads very very fast and she's like . i am going to murder you. it'd be a scandal but i don't think it'd be that shocking to most.

type of mf to pass out at the birth i ain't even gonna say anything more.

he'd be absolutely smitten with your baby, and i think he'd still be on best behaviour after the birth but old habits never die hard and soon enough he'd be back on his bullshit because he just can't stop himself. he loves her and their baby but like . come on, she knows he's never gonna change.

so he's in and out of arkham, but he would 1000% break out OFTEN to see her and the baby because he misses them and he grew up without family and he would never ever want that for his own family so he's there when he can be although he could probably be there all of the time if he stopped being a shithead <33

"if you miss us why don't you stop getting arrested" "*shrugs* you know me" "yeah, unfortunately i do"

i think she'd be very transparent about who he is and the whole villain thing, but i don't think she'd ever make him out to be a genuinely bad guy because she doesn't think that and she wants her kid to grow up with both parents, as inconsistent as he is

she'd still kick his ass, like 100% she'd still knock ten bells of shit out of him if she really has to.

also like. uncle brucie. she probably knows his identity so like. he assumes the position of uncle and he's kinda awkward and doesn't really know how to interact but the kid LOVES him so much. eddie probably doesn't know his identity because like ,,, what a kick off that would be so when he's out of arkham it's uncle batman although he definitely wouldn't be happy about it "uncle batman? when did this happen?" "oh, i don't know. maybe while you were in a cell."

involved. parent. eddie when he's actually out of arkham. he'd want to know EVERYTHING. like every single detail or thing he's missed. and he'd want to be there for every parents day and every meeting and every recital or practise he'd want to be there and be involved. maybe a bit of that is because he gets a kick out of people being like "holy shit it's the riddler at the dance recital" but it's mostly just bc he loves their kid so badly.

when he gets out of arkham every-time it's like "look daddy's back!" as if he's just returned from a fucking business trip or something and there's nothing he'd love more than seeing his kid's face light up and having them run right into his arms. and he'd be so good w his kid too :(( like i bet they'd have so much fun and he'd be kinda natural at being a dad despite uh. everything.

and like. imagine if they have another one. god. everyone would be like 'we get the first time was an accident but like .... come on now' and she's just like well 😬😬😬😬😬😬 and he just finds it funny </3

overall it'd be dysfunctional to anyone looking in on their family dynamic but it's functional for them and they make it work so </3

dilf eddie 🙏🙏🙏🙏