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buckysbest · 3 years

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IT WAS GOOD UNTIL IT WASN'T

CHAPTER TWO: CAN I?

PAIRING: Steve Rogers x Reader

Series Warnings: NSFW TOPICS, Manipulative/Toxic tendencies, sad boi steve rogers, cheating, alcohol

Series Summary: Heartbreak follows her everywhere and Steve Rogers is nothing but the latest victim, at least thats what she thought? Now she can't shake the feeling of him no matter where she goes.

Word count: 1.8K

A/N: Hey lovelies! Sorry I haven't been posting much, I am have just had a lot going on the past few weeks. I absolutely adore all of you (@lookiamtrying im talking to you extra) and I cant wait to see what you guys think!

ps sorry for any typos lol I really wanted to give you guys something today

Series Masterlist coming soon // Masterlist Coming soon

You could pretend you weren't petty and you could pretend he didn't have your blood boiling, but you knew you’d only be lying to yourself. At the sound of her voice, your stomach had dropped practically through the pavement and you were pissed.

Your “vacation” in Miami now officially cut short as you found yourself leaning back into your increasingly uncomfortable plane seat. You drummed your nails on the back of your phone as you began to actually consider the consequences that would follow the impulse purchase of your ticket.

You knew you shouldn't go back. You knew what kind of message this sent.

It practically screamed your need for attention from your boy in red, white, and blue while also displaying the jealousy you couldn't quite push down for all yo see

But you just couldn't help yourself.

If he was going to disrupt your plans this heavily, the least you could do is return the favor.

The sun was just rising over the wing of the aircraft as the flight attendants made their final rounds and speeches to the nearly empty plane. The pounding headache from your night of partying was only worsened as the roar of the engines seemed to get louder and louder. In an attempt to mitigate the pain, you pushed the power button on your phone and shoved it into the seat pocket beside you. Your head found the back of the seat with a small groan as your frustration with yourself only grew.

In need of some peace, you let your tired and heavy eyes drape shut. Much to your dismay, they only provided a screen for the tortuous highlight reel of his hands on your body to play upon.

This was going to be a long flight.

---

As the wheels of the plane finally landed, you quickly gathered your limited belongings and headed straight for the exit. Your rushed departure from Miami couldn't have been more obvious to the other passengers and pedestrians around you. The early morning business class was filled mostly with people in professional wear which provided a stark contrast to your, albeit, slutty and glittering minidress.

Your heels echoed throughout the airport with each step toward the exit of the building, disrupting the stillness of the morning. As you finally crossed the threshold into the fresh air, your driver waved you down excitedly. The pain in your head worsened once again as your agitation grew and you slid on your sunglasses with an eye roll.

“Miss. Y/N, it is really so lovely to see you, we all missed you so much! Your father was incredibly excited that you decided to come home early!”

As you walked further from the building, he rushed around you, gathering your belongings from you as he continued to sprinkle you with unnecessary compliments.

“Mhm, yeah, Thomas, that's really lovely- truly, do you mind though, can we just skip home and just go to the penthouse please?”

The request surprised him a bit, probably because your father prepared him for a different sight exiting the airport. Instead of a burnt out party-girl chomping at the bit for the comforts of home, he was met with a hungover and irritable heiress already smothered over her newly acquired lack of freedom.

The serenity of the ride into the city allowed you a moment of reflection as hints of guilt began to pool in the bottom of your stomach. While your attitude didn't completely improve, you did feel bad for the way you had spoken to Thomas because in all fairness, the limo was far warmer and comforting than the unwelcoming New York air and you knew he was simply doing his job.

The tension in the vehicle seemed to diffuse a little as you got closer to your apartment. Your eyes and energy had rather refocused on the real reason for your return as you turned to your phone, staring at the messages Steve had left you.

3:15 (We’ll talk in the morning, ok?)

3:20 (Sweetheart, look, if it's really important, I can stay up for a bit longer)

4:00 (did you at least get home safe?)

5:00 (doll, you're making me nervous, please just let me know your safe)

You bit your lip in concentration but your eyes were drawn away from your phone before you could craft a response as the car found itself coming to a slow stop. Thomas made his way to your door, opening it and offering you a hand as you stepped out and took in the building. After the all-too-long ride up the elevator, your mind was settled as you entered your top floor home. It was just how you had left it two months ago and it felt good to be back.

“Just a moment thomas, I just need to get changed”

Thomas awkwardly dismissed himself back to the car as you walked into your bedroom and subsequent closet. You paused under your closet archway briefly to finally type the response you had been thinking over.

8:00 am ( can I come over? or do you have company)

Your nails met your lips as you nervously awaited his response.

8:00 am (wait what? are you home already?)

8:00 am (you know you can come over anytime )

A smile grew on your lips at his timely response. Your hands rummaged through the variety of drawers lining the walls of your wardrobe before stopping to feel the lace of a white set of lingerie you knew he couldn't resist. Sliding it on, your eyes gel onto the perfect outfit for your intended purposes.

The black velvet top and matching skirt hugged your body in a way that should be illegal while your diamond-studded pumps found their way onto the floor replaced by equally stunning white pumps. They rubbed slightly on the blisters you had acquired in the past week as you quickly made your way back out the door after grabbing your handbag from the couch.

‘He lived right down the street’ you repeated to yourself as traffic dragged what should have been a five minute ride into a fifteen minute endeavor.

The anticipation of being reunited began to expose itself as your skin began to glisten and an excited glow rose onto your face. Before Thomas could even put the car fully in park, you had already opened the door, saying a quick don't wait up before slamming the door shut.

Your legs couldn't seem to move quick enough as you walked through the hallways until you reached his door. Your heels must have given your arrival away because before your knuckles could even knock on the door, he swung it open and pulled you into a tight embrace.

“I am so glad you're safe”

His warm breath tickled your neck as he mumbled the soft words into your hair. A small smile found its way onto your face at the notion before you raised yourself onto your tippy toes, whispering back an “I missed you”.

You could feel the silence and comfort in everyone of your muscles as they relaxed into the man you knew all too well. You turned around, stepping into the threshold of his home without breaking the strong grip that he still had on you. Taking the small note, he released you slightly, pulling his large frame through the door as well before he shut it gently. His eyes softened as they met yours for the first time in two months.

“What are you doing home?” A small smile raised onto his face as you took another step into him, laying your head on his chest.

“I already told you, I missed you,” you replied as his hands that laid respectfully on your lower back were lowered by your own mischievous hands. You placed a soft kiss beneath his ear, “Did you miss me too Cap?”

A small groan left his mouth at the nickname and you knew you were close to getting what you wanted.

You lead his hands once again lower, this time to the bottom of your skirt, prompting him to slide it up a bit. Your hands finally left his as you reached them up around his neck and leaned in.

His lips met yours halfway in a movement that could only be described as desperate.

The slow and agonizing pace that he had tried to set for you was now gone as he patted your thighs and you jumped. He carried you to his bedroom, tossing you onto the bed and crawling on top of you.

His mouth then began to make its way down the side of your neck, eliciting a loud moan from your painted lips. A satisfied smirk momentarily appeared on his face as he lifted his eyes to meet yours. They seemed to search your eyes for a moment before they broke away from yours with a small frown. His hovering form came down as he placed his head on your chest with a groan.

“What's wrong cap?” you joked slightly as you ran your hands through his hair.

“Steve?”

“I can’t do this doll.” His sweet eyes raised to meet yours and you could immediately tell they were filled to the brim with guilt.

“Of course you can Ste-”

“You don’t understand y/n,” he said with a deep sigh before pulling himself further back and standing up. He began to pace slightly as he continued with a frustrated groan, “I- fuck- “

Your eyes widened at the uncharacteristic language and behavior of your golden boy as his eyes met yours once again. “I-I finally found someone who will give me what you cant y/n.” He paused momentarily, as if being hit by the recoil of the gun he had just fired into your heart. “She, She really sees a future with me doll and, and I-I can't just throw that all away for nothing” he says. His words and his eyes were laced with propositions and it really appears like he's trying to convince himself more than you.

Nonetheless, your heart dropped to your stomach and you could feel tears threatening to brim at your eyes. “Nothing? Am I nothing to you Steve?”

“Oh- of course no- I didn't mean it like that,” he sighed as he quickly walked back over to you.

You extended an arm out before pulling him back onto the bed and flipping him over. Straddling his hips, you leaned down and laid into his chest. His arms once again found their way around you, if only because of muscle memory. You held this embrace for a moment before sighing out your own proposition.

“I’ll go Steve… I’ll go and leave forever if you really want…. Just tell me..” You leaned your head up slightly to meet his ear and whispered,

“Is that what you really want?”

#marvel masterlist #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers one shot #steve rogers smut #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers #steve rogers x you #self insert #x reader #steve rogers series

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love-and-anarchy-au · 4 years

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Love & Anarchy: Chapter 4

BUENOS DIAS!!! im a bit euforic today so reading your reviews will calm me a bit down. this chapter is kinda “meh” but! pay attention, there are little details that explain canonic things. hopeyou like this chapter, i might post the fifth one this friday <3

REMEMBER THIS AU HAPPENS IN THE SAME UNIVERSE THAT THIS ONE

Find out what this AU is about here

Masterlist

Tag list: @healing-winston-pratt @dawniebb @obsidianfr3sk @nodrianbcyes @everyone-has-a-nightmare @magykaldealings

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Words:

6,653

Part 1: A boy named Alec Artino

4 years old Alec

“Come on, Alec, come in.”

Alec obeyed, his little shoes tapping against the parquet floor.

After such a violent and terrible scene, Julieta decided that they should go home and postpone the remaining purchases, which were not essential at all. Julieta closed the squeaky wooden doors, the dirty glass windows, and sat in one of the five wooden chairs of the dining room, massaging her right temple with her index and middle finger. She was twelve but looked twenty, with such a tired and sore expression.

Alec had to ask her something else; ask her the question that would give him the information Julieta had promised to give him, and he knew Julieta knew what his question was.

Answer me, Julieta.

Julieta looked Alec in the eye, with an extremely faint smile on her face. Silent tears spilled from her eyes and made still fine rivers on her cheeks. Her eyes, her cheeks, even her lips, shone as they were filled with little stars.

“Oh, Alec…” Julieta sighed. A depressing, strangled laugh escaped her throat, the sound piercing Alec's soul and it stuck, leaving his soul bleeding. “If you knew what I am …”

Alec walked over to his sister and hugged her, intending never to let go of her.

“I know what you are, Julieta,” Alec murmured. “A prodigy.”

Julieta sobbed. Admitting that she was a prodigy meant increasing her chance of dying on the streets, confirming what people suspected, and receiving punishment for it. Alec whispered:

“I'm not telling anyone.”

“A telepath,” Julieta snapped, as if she were letting go of a weight that was tormenting her conscience. “This is what God has gifted me with. The gift of telepathy,” she continued to confess. “That was what I was supposed to tell you, Alec. The truth.”

Alec pulled away to look Julieta in the eyes. He had a compassionate smile on his lips.

“That's why you never lose, you cheater,” Alec joked, trying to distract his sister.

Julieta laughed, between clouds laden with starry tears.

“My headband amplifies my powers,” Julieta commented, as if Alec had asked. There was no reason for her comment, it was just that: a comment.

“A helmet would be better,” Alec said. Julieta laughed again.

“But it would be very obvious, I mean, who walks through the streets with a helmet?” Julieta replied, leaving the response floating. Alec laughed but then he got serious.

“David is also a prodigy,” Alec stated. It was not a question.

Julieta nodded calmly. Alec knew that it was David who had created Julieta’s headband, most of their metal furniture, their little amount of jewelery.

“You are also a prodigy,” stated Julieta, while she played with Alec’s dark, curly hair.

Alec shook his head vigorously, squeezing his lids together, as if closing his eyes could more easily deny an opinion from his sister.

“No, I'm not. If I was, I would know.”

Julieta pursed her lips in a kind of grimace/smile.

“I see the potential in your mind, Alec. Is there, asleep.”

Alec frowned, but raised his eyebrows at the same time. The result was a ridiculous expression of bewilderment.

“How can potential be asleep?”

Julieta stopped smiling; the clouds of her tears darkened her, hid her shinny stars.

“I don't know, Alec. I mean, I do know, but I don't know how,” she corrected herself, know playing with one of her curls instead of Alec’s. “There are things that you just know, it’s your instincts that tell you that it is so. I don't stop to question it.”

The boy nodded. Instincts. Powers were as primitive as an instinct.

“Were you born a prodigy?” Alec asked, not changing the subject entirely, but deviating from talking about his potential powers.

Julieta shook her head up and down, her curls jumped in the air, up and down, down and up.

“Yes, I have very old memories that don't belong to me.”

“Have you ever met someone who can hide their thoughts from you?”

The girl mused, a finger rubbing her lower lip, her eyes staring at nothing, still focused. Finally, she replied:

“So far, no.”

Alec nodded again. Words were unnecessary and yet something had not yet been said, and should be said. Julieta inhaled and sighed.

“Please don't tell Papà about this, okay?”

One of Julieta's most remarkable and beautiful qualities was how she always asked for things with a “please”. She never ordered you to do anything or imposed anything on you, she let you choose your own path and make your own decisions. She always had more than one option to give you to choose from; she was open to the variety of choices.

She was like an angel living on Earth, ready to serve whoever needed it and whoever didn't.

Alec nodded, raising a hand to his beating heart, ready to take an oath properly.

The Artino siblings had an internal oath, a way of swearing. A hand on the heart, a hand on the sibling’s hand, the eyes closed and the mind open to let the soul be chained to a promise. Artino's oaths were unbreakable, and they were secured by the strongest substance on Earth: will. Although Alec, Julieta and David were very different, they had one quality in common above all the others: they were willing to do whatever they were committed to, for better or for worse.

Alec was willing to give his life for the secret of his sister.

“I will never tell him. Not Papà, not Mamma, not anyone. I swear to you I will not,” Alec pronunced, word for word, one hand on his heart and one on Julieta's. She placed her hand on Alec's other hand. They both closed their eyes.

“You swear by whom?” Julieta whispered. That was the other part of the oath: to commit someone, something, that you love a lot and for which you would give everything and more.

Alec reflected. Who would he take the oath for? Who did he love enough to put on an oath? He thought and thought, and finally found the answer, well kept in his heart.

“I swear on your life Julieta, and on the Savior of Prodigies, God.”

“So be it then,” Julieta said and placed a kiss on his forehead to seal the oath.

They both got to their feet and Alec said, suddenly.

“Long live the Savior.”

“Long live the Savior of Prodigies.”

“God,” they said at the same time, finishing their prayers and wishes.

And they kept the secret forever, both with the hope that the Savior would arrive soon, and release all the prodigies of discrimination, murder, and mistreatment by society. Alec and Julieta prayed, imagining that they were in a cathedral, and hoping that their prayer of peace and freedom would be, someday, fulfilled.

#love & anarchy #love & anarchy au #ace anarchy's backstory #ace anarchy #julieta artino #alec artino #prodigies #renegades fandom #renegades au #before renegades #my au #marissa meyer #read #reblog

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adrenaline-roulette · 4 years

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Four Eighths

Pairing: Four x Eight (Reader) Word count: 7k+ Warnings: Language, angst, minor original character death, grief, mentions of illness and treatments, stress, breakdown, drinking, drunk, stealing, Four is redeemed! *Disclaimer, here we are, the first briefing for who the Ghosts new target will be! This chapter is dark, I’ll warn you now, and I would dare say the next few chapters will be angsty too! Though if you’re all very well behaved, then maybe we’ll start getting some fluff and maybe a bit extra going on between Four and Eight.... Read Chapters One, Two, Three and Four first (Or don’t? I can’t make you do anything, after all I’m just text...)

Chapter Five: I need a Doctor

“I am the fairy king! Bow to me or you shall die!”

You stare up at the shouting blonde stood atop One’s trailer, the fairy lights you had purchased weeks earlier were now coiled around his body, now no longer producing the beautiful glow they once had. Up until a few minutes ago, the lights had been plugged in and twinkling away merrily, that was until Four had somehow gotten himself tangled up in them. He then decided that the shining bulbs suited his alter ego of ‘Fairy King’ quite nicely and had proceeded to race around base with them on, only pausing for a few moments when he realised, they no longer lit up.

The rest of the team were either asleep, or trying to sleep, you knew for a fact that One was in the latter category, as he had screamed at the top of his lungs “Stop fucking tap dancing on my roof!” The moment Four had begun parading around on the trailer.

You want to tell him to stop, but considering you were the reason he was so highly intoxicated right now, and that you were only one or two drinks away from being on his level of drunk, you find that it really isn’t your place to tell him off. “Oh, powerful fairy king!” You call out, lowering your torso in a sloppy bow, keeping your head tilted up so you can watch Four closely. He was teetering on falling over, which if it weren’t for how close he currently was to the edge of the trailer, then you wouldn’t think anything of it. “Your majesty, perhaps we should move this conversation to more sturdy ground?”

Four wobbles on unsteady legs, his face growing pale as he backs away from the edge of the trailer. For someone who spent most of his time jumping from skyscraper to skyscraper, it was rather comical to see him afraid of what would only be a short drop. “That is an excellent idea my loyal subject, now help me down please!”

You’re not exactly sure how you’re supposed to help Four down, but it likely shouldn’t have gone this way. Skipping over to the bus, a half bottle of Jack Daniel’s sloshing away in your hand, you pause just beneath Four, waving up at him with a cheesy grin, before extending your arms in front of you, with the plan of catching him. Without even so much as a pause, Four leaps off the trailer and into your waiting arms. Anyone who wasn’t currently shitfaced would’ve seen that this was a terrible plan, and that it wouldn’t end the way you both expected. However, being shitfaced as you were, it took you more than a few seconds to comprehend what had happened. One moment you were standing upright, and the next, your entire body had been slammed into the ground bellow, a heavy weight pressing against your front. “Ugh, fuck…” You groan, blinking bleary eyes down at the mass that was slowly crushing you.

Four looks up at you, a lopsided grin brightening up his entire face. “ ‘As anyone ever told you that you’re very comfortable?” He mumbles, speech slurred and slow.

“Can’t say that they have.”

“Well, you are.”

Four lowers his head down, cheek resting against your chest as his eyes flutter closed. You want to protest; this man was five foot eight and made of pure muscle! Yet your aching body began to relax, as you heard tiny snores escape the Brit. As you allowed yourself to drift off, ignoring how you were sleeping on the ground, your mind started to wonder. ‘How had this man, who you had shared no more than five consecutive words with at one time, gone from being the person you avoided at all costs, and now to the person you got piss drunk with, and allowed to fall asleep on you?’

*****

“Briefing room, five minutes!” Seven called behind your closed trailer door, not bothering to knock, knowing full well his voice could be heard clearly through the thin metal that was your trailer. You’d just finished your morning routine of; wake up, drink coffee, go for a run, drink more coffee while you updated yourself on the happenings of the world on your laptop, eat breakfast, have a ten minute internal battle over whether you should go back to bed or not, in that time drink a third cup of coffee, ignore Five’s suggestion of perhaps not ingesting so much caffeine, shower, then return to your trailer while your hair dried and go through the building blueprints One had sent you.

Slowly, you stood up from your bed, stretching your arms above your head after having sat hunched over for too long. You close your laptop, then set about searching for a sweater to throw on over the top of your shirt. Outside, the base was stifling hot, yet for some reason, the briefing room was perpetually freezing. One always insisted on turning on every single fan in the shipping container, and it was just too much! After the third team meeting there, you had vowed never to return without a sweater. Finally, you found the one you were looking for, dark gray with a red #mood splattered across the chest. The sweater itself was perhaps one or two sizes too large, but it was warm and snuggly.

You made your way towards the briefing room, slipping the sweater over your head when you were halfway there. As you pull the material down your torso, you fail to realise that you’d put the garment on backwards, coming to an abrupt halt when you notice that the hood was over your head, completely obscuring your face. Behind you, Four silently leaps from the roof of a shipping container, walking up behind you as you struggle to readjust the sweater. “Oh yeah, you should wear all your clothes like that. Prove to everyone that you’re as stupid as your role in the team is.” He snarls, pushing past you, knocking his side against your shoulder.

You can feel your eyes roll, trailing behind Four as you both head towards the meeting “You know, at first it was kinda intimidating, the whole, ‘you don’t belong here’ schtick. But really, now it’s just sad. You don’t have to feel threatened by me, Luke never felt threatened when he discovered Leia could use the force too! As a Skywalker, you should know better than to allow your emotions to cloud your judgement.” There’s a grin clawing at your lips, which you no longer bother to hide, picking up speed and walking past the scowling blonde. If you had looked back you would’ve seen Four raise his eyebrows in surprise, not having expected you to talk back. Quietly, he was actually rather impressed that you had, even if in doing so you had continued with the Star Wars trend.

*****

“Doctor Genevieve Lushnick, for twenty years she has worked as a general practitioner in a family owned GP clinic, and if she has it her way, will continue doing so until retirement. However, over time, her remedies have become more extreme. She stopped prescribing antibiotics to help fight infections, and instead would recommend her patients undergo unnecessary surgeries.” One begins, displaying images of the Doctor on the screen at the front of the room. Just the sound of her name makes you sick to your stomach, a sweat breaking out on your forehead, though no one seems to notice.

“This is Doctor Gregory Lushnick, Genevieve’s husband. He, is the surgeon who has been performing the procedures, along with a well-paid, and unethical team of doctors and nurses. Genevieve will suggest the surgery, telling the patient that it is a matter of life and death, she will then refer them on to Gregory, who will of course agree with her course of action. The patient, who at this point has been warned if they aren’t operated on soon, they will die, will pay an exuberant fee, any amount the Lushnick’s request, which they then pocket for themselves.”

Three lifts his brows at the information they had all been presented with. “How have they gotten away with this? Surely they’ve had patients who know at least a little bit about general health, who know if a procedure they’ve been recommended is necessary or not?”

One nods, folding his arms across his chest while gazing out over his team, all with an equal expression of shock and disgust. Except for you, who looks on the verge of tears. “That actually happened a few times. A Doctor went and visited Genevieve after hearing about the outrageous number of procedures she had recommended. He went in complaining of an ingrown toenail that had become infected, which he did in fact have at the time, but was treating it himself. Genevieve took one look at it, and informed him that the infection was too far gone, and if they didn’t remove his toe urgently, the infection would likely spread, and perhaps enter his blood stream. He asked for some further testing to ensure Genevieve was correct, to which she obliged, and sent him to pathology to have blood taken.”

“Yeah, but if he got blood tests then that’s it right? Game over? The tests would prove that there’s nothing wrong with ‘im.” Four interjects, leaning his hip against the edge of the table everyone was stood around, taking care to watch you from his peripherals.

“In a normal situation, then yes, you’d be correct. But this isn’t normal, nothing about the Lushnick’s is normal. The test results came back in, and of course, they read perfectly, no deadly infection obviously. But the convenient thing about living in the modern age we do, is that all test results are sent through electronically. All Genevieve had to do, was edit the results, and suddenly, her patient was suffering any ailment she wished! When she presented the results to him, and he played along, saying he would organise the procedure shortly. Instead, he went to the Minister of Health, and presented his findings. The Lushnick’s found out who he was, and what was happening and fled the country. No one knows where they went, so they escaped punishment.”

“Alright, so they fucked off somewhere else, but they’re not hurting anyone, anymore right? So how does this affect us?” Seven shrugged, One’s eyes boring into his.

“I know exactly where the Lushnick’s are. They’ve been performing their surgeries in secret for a few years now, but they’ve moved on to more desperate patients, and are providing more extreme remedies. Rather than patients finding her, Genevieve is seeking out her own patients, the one’s who are unable to afford a visit to the Doctor’s surgery. She’ll play nice, offer them a free consult to ensure they’re all healthy, then she’ll drop the health bomb on them. These people are so afraid, that they will believe anything Genevieve tells them, and will do anything to get the money needed for their life saving surgery.”

Your hand grips the back of a chair, while your other presses flat against the wall nearest you. Your head is swimming, memories flooding back to you in a tidal wave. Heart racing so fast you think it’s about to explode, all the while sweat drips from your skin. No one notices, no one cares. They all have questions that need answering.

Four notices though, how could he not? For weeks now, he had done nothing but watch you closely, always checking to make sure you were safe, and not putting yourself in any unnecessary danger. If you were going to stay with the team, and it looked as if you were, then he would keep an eye on you from a distance. He may not be your friend, but that didn’t mean he cared any less, not really.

“What kind of surgeries are they doing now?” Five asks, her hands resting on her hips.

“Similar to what they used to suggest, only now more extreme because they have a more desperate clientele. From what I could find, the most chilling was what she and Greg did to a fifteen year old boy. He was complaining of shortness of breath, and if he had been seen by any other Doctor, he would’ve been diagnosed with mild asthma, and given an inhaler to use. But Genevieve instead informed him and his father that he had a potentially life-threatening lung infection.” One pauses, a frown creasing his features as he looks over at you, your skin having grown pale and your eyes unfocused, you looked about ready to collapse. He pulls he gaze away for a moment to finish, though his eyes continue to dart back over to you. “The boy underwent surgery to have an entire lung removed. His father paid nearly twenty thousand for his son to have the surgery. Two weeks after the procedure, the boy died.”

A chocked sob rips from your lips, causing everyone to focus on you, six pairs of eyes staring you down. They all either thought you were crazy, or just overly emotional over the death of a kid you didn’t know. How could they know the truth, it’s not as if you had ever told anyone? “Eight? Are you alright?” Five asks slowly, reaching a hand towards you just as you step backwards.

“Hey, sit down for a second kid…” Three offers, gesturing to the chair you had just released from your vice like grip.

“It’s the sweater, she’s probably just over heated.” Four shrugs, though even with his air of indifference, his eyes are clouded with worry.

Another sob followed by your nose sniffling. Were you crying? When had that started? You bring one hand up to your face, your fingers shaking the entire time, until they press against your cheeks, only to pull away a second later damp with tears. Lips are moving, but you don’t hear any of the words that are spoken, there’s a ringing in your ears which is too loud to ignore, and it drowns out everything other than your internal voice. The expressions the Ghosts wore changed from that of curiosity and caution, to full blown panic now as it dawned on them, that you truly weren’t alright. Just as One walks over to you, you spin on your heel, racing away from him and the team. You’re vaguely aware of people calling out after you, but you don’t turn back.

You throw yourself into the gray McLaren which had unofficially become your car, after the driving display you had given a few weeks ago. The engine revs as you try to clear your mind enough to decide on where you were going. Should you be driving in the state you were now? Probably not. Were you going to anyway? Definitely. Were you more than willing to run over Four who now stood between you and the exit you wanted to take? Without a doubt. Pressing the tab on the door, the window lowers at what felt like a comically slow rate.

Four had sprinted after you the moment you left, and was now trying to decide what his next move should be. Behind the car, he could see the others grouped together, all unsure of what to do, just like him. “Either get in the fucking car or move. You have ten seconds or I’m driving through you!” You bark out of the window, providing him with the motivation required for him to spring into action.

The passenger door slams shut, with Four diving in just milliseconds before you slam on the gas, the car fishtailing for a moment, before flying through base. Four stares dead ahead, his mouth slightly agape, while you glare at the road, hands gripping the steering wheel so tight your knuckles had turned white. When you had given Four his options just before, you had never expected him to pick the first, and from the looks of things, neither had he.

Silence fills the speeding car for twenty odd minutes, your eyes locked on the road ahead, while Four was staring out the passenger window, his elbow propped up on the centre console, while his other hand was resting with his fingers pressed to his lips. You felt as if you were being strangled in the silence, but neither of you were prepared to break it, both too stubborn to admit defeat, and voice your curiosity. Reaching one hand out, your hover above the power button for the stereo, taking your eyes off the road for just a second.

Oh, how things can change in one second.

The car had been travelling in an undisturbed straight line down the freeway, though all of that changed in a heartbeat. With your eyes focused elsewhere, you never saw the massive pothole looming ever closer to the McLaren. Just as you look back at the road, your eyes fall to the dip in the road, something that you should’ve avoided at all costs. Your barely functioning brain kicks in at the last minute, and just as one of your front tyre’s dips into the pothole, you spin the steering wheel, attempting to keep your remaining tyres from hitting the hole too. It was too little too late however, and instead of avoiding the pothole, the car spins out, flying off the edge of the road and skidding along the red dirt uncontrollably. Your shriek is the first sound to pierce the silence the entire drive, and it seems to be what snapped Four out of his shock.

Four reaches out, taking the wheel in one hand, attempting to straighten out the cars path, while his other hand wraps around the handbrake, pulling it up with all his might. The McLaren spins for another few seconds, until coming to a halt, a cloud of dust having been kicked up by the erratic tyres. “Jesus Christ Eight! What the fuck was that about?”

You can’t answer him, your words are choked in your throat, and refuse to budge. You unclip your seatbelt and bolt out of the car, leaving the keys in the ignition as you sprint away from both the car and Four. Why was he here? Out of everyone that could’ve blocked your path and jumped into the car, why did it have to be fucking Four? He didn’t give a shit what was going on with you on a regular day to day basis, so why the hell would he care about this?

Where were you even running to? You were in the middle of nowhere, and all that was around you was desert and the highway. There was nowhere for you to run to. As this realisation hits you, you stop dead in your tracks. Heart pounding in your chest. Clenching your fists at your sides, your drop to your knees in the middle of the desert, titling your head back, and screaming gutturally towards the sky, as fresh tears flow freely down your cheeks now.

*****

Four had never seen someone lose control as you were doing now, he’d seen his fair share of people in pain, screaming and crying over the death of a loved one or because they were in pain. But this, it felt different to him. Watching you collapse to your knees, he felt his chest tighten, and his own breath hitched in his throat. Your scream rumbled through his entire body, and echoed around the empty sky, there was nothing around for miles that would block your screams. He didn’t know what else to do, so he grabbed the keys, pocketed them before jogging over to you.

“Hey… Hey, it’s okay – You’re gonna be okay.” He whispers, kneeling beside you now, wrapping his arms around your shaking torso. He was sure that if it weren’t for the vulnerable position you found yourself in, that you would never return his embrace as you now were. But you did, your arms circling around his neck, as you pressed your face against his shoulder.

“Any other target… It could’ve been anyone else.” You cry out, hot tears splashing against his thin t-shirt. Four tightens his grip around you, slowly lowering himself into a sitting position, and guiding you down with him. You follow him down, and he half expects you to break out of your emotions when he settles you against his lap, though that never happens.

He rubs soothing circles against your back, listening for the sounds of your cries to ease, before he finally asks. “What d’you mean Eight? What’s wrong with the target?”

You shake your head, pressing further into his shoulder, as another body shaking sob overtakes you. Your mind is swimming in horrifying memories, and all you want to do is to claw them out of your brain. You want to forget; you need to forget. “Eight, look at me… Talk to me.”

Four rests his hands on both of your shoulders, gently guiding you away from him so he could look you in the eyes red rimmed and now puffy, though your tears had slowed at the very least. “Hey – Hi…”

*****

You blink across at Four, sniffling as you attempt to clear your thoughts. Why did he suddenly care what was wrong with you? For weeks now, he barely spoke a word to you, when he did, it was always something snarky or sarcastic. There was never any care for your wellbeing, so where had this all come from? “Hullo… I’m sorry. Please, just forget about that. I’m sorry.”

You move to pull away from Four, but his large hands on your shoulders tighten their grip, and you honestly just don’t have the energy to fight against him. “I’m not going to forget about this. Talk to me Eight, what happened back there?”

“What happened? I lost control of the car, it spun out. Happens to the best of us.” You shrug, opting to play dumb for a little while, just to see how far you would get with doing so.

There’s a fierce glare that settles over Four’s eyes, and you can feel a physical chill run down your spine at the intensity of his gaze.

“Don’t. Don’t you dare do that.”

“Do what?”

“Pretend to be stupid. We both know you’re the furthest from stupid a person could possibly get.” Four breathes out deeply, closing his eyes for a moment, before opening them and reconnecting his sight with yours.

You’re not sure which is more likely to occur first, your heart stopping entirely or for it to literally explode under the amount of stress you’re experiencing right now. “It’s the Lushnick’s. I – I know them. Or at least, I did know them.”

Four stills his movements, where he had been drawing tiny patterns against your shoulders, he no longer seems able to do even that. “What do you mean you know the Lushnick’s?” His voice comes out strangled, and if you didn’t know any better, you would think he was worried about you.

“Doctor Genevieve, the clinic she worked in was local to my family when I was little. When I was around five, I had a babysitter, Kellie, she would look after me every afternoon after school, and some weekends. She would’ve been around seventeen, and at the time was my best friend. I didn’t get along with the kids in my class, so I turned to Kellie, she was always there for me, and I loved her like a sister.” There, that was the easy part to talk about. You could just leave the story there, but really, you know you couldn’t do that. You had given away too much to stop now. “Every afternoon, she would walk me home from school. On the walk, we would pass by the clinic where Doctor Lushnick worked. One afternoon, when we were heading home, Kellie started to feel dizzy, I remember she was struggling to walk, and I was worried. I left her on a bench, and ran to the Doctor’s clinic. The receptionist grabbed the first doctor she could find, Genevieve, and we all ran to Kellie to help her.”

“Fuck Eight, I’m sorry –“

You cut Four off before he can say anymore. “Let me finish. There’s more to tell, and I can’t stop now.” You pause for a moment, waiting to see if he had anything else to say, but clearly he thought better than to speak up again. “Doctor Lushnick performed heaps of tests, I remember she kept sending Kellie for more and more blood tests, x-rays and ultrasounds. Always telling her and her family that the results had come back inconclusive. It must’ve been around two weeks, until Kellie was given her diagnosis. Heart failure. I don’t remember much of what happened after that, there was a lot of adult conversations had that I wasn’t made a part of. What I do know though, is that Genevieve sent Kellie to have a heart transplant. Kellie was terrified, I can still hear her crying, begging her parents not to make her go through with the surgery. Her parents didn’t want her to have it done either, but Genevieve and Gregory made it sound as if it were her only option. They told Kellie and her parents that without the surgery, she would die.”

Tears had returned to your eyes now, and Four pulled you subtly closer to him, not enough so you were embraced as you were before, but enough that you could feel his warmth soaking into you, and hear his steady heartbeat. “Kellie had the surgery, and was recovering relatively well. She was in the hospital still so the nurses could keep an eye on her while she healed. After school one day, I lied and told my parents I was going to a friend’s house, and that no one needed to pick me up until later. Instead I went to the hospital to visit Kellie. I had gone to see her twice after the surgery, and both times she had seemed alright, at least in my eyes she did. This third time though, when I got to her room, everything was different. She was pale and sweating, her chest heaving as she gasped for breath. There was no one else in the room for me to get, so I pressed the call button from the side of her bed, and in came running nurses and doctors. No one really explained to me what had happened that day until I was older. And it wasn’t until I was much older, did I realise truly what had happened, and with the information One gave us today, I knew for sure. Kellie was never supposed to have had that surgery, her body underwent unnecessary trauma, which it couldn’t heal from. Doctor Genevieve and Gregory Lushnick murdered my best friend.”

Suddenly, you were pressed against Four’s chest, as your felt tears stream over your cheeks. He held you firmly, his warm embrace was one of comfort and peace, two things you had never associated with the man. “When One was telling us about what they had done to others, I just couldn’t stop the memories from coming back, everything I felt back then, it all came rushing back to me.”

“It’s alright, fuck Eight. I’m sorry, I am so sorry. I wish there was more I could say..”

You gulp, before looking up at him, your eyes scanning over his handsomely chiselled face for the very first time. In the time you had been with the team, not once had you had the opportunity to look at Four up close, and of course this would be your first chance. While sitting on his lap, crying your heart out, as you both grew more covered in dust. “Promise me we’ll make them pay. Promise me that we’ll get them both, and that they won’t get away.”

Four allows a deep breath to flow from his parted lips, the lines on his forehead smoothing as he takes in your words. “I promise you, they won’t make it through this alive.”

*****

Allowing Four to drive you both back to base had likely been one of the best decisions you had made in a long time. Despite the panic and anger which had clouded you before, now faded to a dull shadow, you were still shaky, and your concentration was easily lost. Four driving truly was the safest option, if you both wanted to arrive home in one piece. “Can we stop in town?”

Four glances at you for a moment, retracting his hand which was resting on your knee. The entire drive, you would find Four resting his hand somewhere on your leg. To you, it was grounding and comforting, serving to remind you that you weren’t alone. It let you know that someone else on the team understood your connection to the targets. For Four however, you weren’t sure if he was doing it out of habit, or for comfort too. “Sure, what do you need?”

Turning to look at his side glance, you allow a tiny smile to tug at the corners of your lips. “I desperately need a drink. You’re welcome to join me if you’d like, but I’m sure you’d rather forget that this all happened.” You shrug softly, before turning to look back out of the passenger window.

Four’s eyes grow wide at your comment, and he finds himself at a loss for words. “I- You- What?”

Pressing your forehead against the window, you take a deep breath in, before blowing out through your mouth, fogging the glass up in the process. “I appreciate you following me out here today, I really do. But, let’s be honest, we’re not friends. You hate me. You’ve made that perfectly clear since the day I arrived. So, while I’m happy to extend the invitation of getting piss drunk with me, I’m not expecting you to accept.”

“I don’t.”

“You don’t what?”

“Hate you… I’m sca – Way too sober to have this conversation right now. But put it this way, I don’t hate you.”

Four focuses back on the road, while his words swirl through your mind. ‘Scared? Was he about to say he was scared? Scared of what though? He always seemed so grounded, almost as if nothing could touch him, let alone hurt him…’ On the drive away from base, you hadn’t paid any attention to where you were headed, not really. All you knew at the time, was that you needed to get as far away from everyone as was humanly possible. Which is why it came as a surprise to you when Four pulled into a small town, not the one you had visited with Two and Five a few weeks ago, but an entirely different one which you had never known to exist. “There’s a liquor store just up that side street there.” Four observes, while pointing to the left of the town, where sure enough, there was an opening in the path for the side street.

You nod, climbing out of the car, just as Four lowers his window and the passenger side window. “I’ll be back in a few. Want anything?”

Four shakes his, carding his fingers through is windswept curls. “Thanks, I’m good.” It’s said with such a firm edge to the words, that you know the conversation is over, before it really began.

As you walk down the street, you look back over your shoulder at Four and the McLaren. His wrists are wresting on top of the steering wheel, as he picks at his nails, clearing them of the dirt that had gathered there from earlier. Music was pumping through the speakers, and you could see the car shaking with the intensity of the bass Turning the corner, the liquor store comes into view, a small bell chiming as the door pushes open. A man, likely in his forties or fifties is stood near the cooler section, collapsing empty beer boxes. Looking at the few shelves that lined the wall nearest the register, you feel a lump rise in your throat. In your haste to leave base, you hadn’t brought anything with you, no phone, no wallet, no money!

“Can I help you with anything?” The man calls from the opposite side of the store, eyeing you suspiciously.

“Just looking thank you!”

The man squints at you, his eyebrows furrowed. “Hope you’ve got some ID kid…. You don’t look old enough to be buying anything from here…”

Your jaw drops at his words, a scowl marching across your features. How dare he question your age, suggesting you weren’t old enough to drink! You had never been ID’d before now, and now that you were not only dead, and still waiting on One to present you with your fake ID’s. But you didn’t even have your bloody wallet with you, where said fake would be kept, this was the time, of all times where the world decided to turn against you and start questioning your age? “Of course I have ID with me.”

The man watches you for another moment, as if assessing whether he could trust you or not. With a final huff, he bends over and picks up a box of beers, pushing the cooler door open and heading inside to restock the fridge shelves, clearly having decided you were trustworthy. Oh buddy, wrong decision.

Maybe it was because of the shithouse afternoon you had just experienced, or maybe it was because you were sick and tired of people making assumptions about you. No matter the why’s, you found yourself snatching bottles of Jack Daniel’s, Malibu, and salted caramel vodka. Without a second thought, you cradled them against your chest, then bolted for the front door.

“Get back here you thief!” The man screams after you, having re-emerged from the fridge just as the door swung closed behind you.

This was wrong, so fucking wrong! It was one thing to steal money from a stranger’s bank account (Granted that stranger then went on to fake your death, and now was your employer…) Or to work from afar and have people do the dirty work, while you reaped the benefits, they did the snatching and grabbing, you just made sure they didn’t get caught. But this? This was you stealing, with no one else there! This was all you!

Your feet pound against the pavement, the McLaren coming into view just as the store clerk sprints after you. “Open the fucking door Four!” You shriek from the top of your lungs, praying to any deity who may listen that he will hear you over the pumping music.

Despite your thieving tendencies, someone answers your prayer, and Four looks up and over to you through the open passenger window, his eyebrows shooting up into his hair line as he spots you sprinting at full speed towards him, three bottles clutched in your arms, as a pissed man follows close behind. He leans across the centre console, pushing the door open before returning to his seat fully and twisting the key in the ignition. With the sound of the door slamming shut behind you, he throws the car into reverse, getting you both the hell out of town! “What the actual fuck Eight? What did you do?”

You stare down at the three bottles, now laying by your feet, rocking back and forth as the car moves. Laughter bubbles from your chest, and you can’t help the burst of chuckles that rip through you. “I didn’t have any money…”

For a brief moment, you could’ve sworn you saw Four grin, though the look is soon replaced by a sigh. “And you didn’t think to come and ask me if I had any?”

“Do you have money on you?”

“No… But that’s not the point! Your first instinct was to steal what you wanted!”

“Are you seriously telling me off for stealing? Sorry, last I heard, One met you after a robbery gone wrong.”

Four’s grip on the wheel tightens for a few moments, before his knuckles relax somewhat, tension visibly leaving his shoulders. “Now we’ve gotta find a new liquor store.”

*****

Walking through base, you felt everyone’s eyes on you, all boring down on you, as if thinking if they stared long enough then they would understand what had happened to you. There’s a part of you that wants to explain yourself, and to reassure the team that you are in fact, not insane as they may now think. However, before you even have the chance to consider explaining yourself, Four is dragging you by the hand towards your trailer. “If anyone needs us, don’t. Just don’t fucking need us!” He calls out behind you, gripping the bottle of Malibu with such intensity your genuinely worried he might smash the glass.

Four’s warning seemed to have worked, at least for the time being, and you watched as the Ghosts all shuffled away, back to whatever they had been doing before your arrival. One stays out for a few moments longer, arms folded across his chest, and both eyebrows raised in confusion. You can see the questions he’s dying to ask dancing across his eyes, mixed with a look of what could only be described as, understanding. You don’t take the time to dwell on One, as you’re far too preoccupied with Four who had swung your trailer door open, and was pushing you inside and up the steps, his hands pushing against your lower back to keep you moving.

Four followed you up, placing the Malibu on the small table opposite your bed, while you plonked down on the bed, the bottles of Jack and vodka falling to the foot of your mattress. “Right, you stay here as long as you need to. Drink, get smashed, scream, cry. Whatever you wanna do.” His broad shoulders shrug, as he turns away from you, and steps back towards the door, resting both hands in his front pants pockets.

Quickly, you twist off the cap of the vodka, the strong scent of salted caramel filling the air. “The offer still stands. Only this time, I’d like you to join me…”

Four turns on the spot, looking back at you in surprise. “You sure?”

“Yes, I – I want you here with me please.”

There’s no need to ask him a second time, though you would’ve if necessary. Four reaches out and takes the vodka from your outstretched hand, bringing it to his lips and taking a deep swig. Just as you do the same with the Jack. “Cheers to your first mission briefing.” He chuckles, his crystalline eyes sparkling in joy.

You roll your eyes up at him, as you move further back on the bed, leaning your back against the wall. “Let’s try not to make this a tradition yeah?”

“It’s been five seconds, and you already hate drinking with me enough to never want to do it again?”

“That’s not what I meant. The drinking, I’d be willing for the to be a tradition. The whole, me running away from base thing though? Yeah, let’s not do that again.”

Four nods, his curls swaying under the gesture, before he takes another swig, savouring the sharp after burn the vodka left in the back of his throat. You crawl up off the bed, and shuffle over to the small, mint green radio that was set up towards the back of the trailer, fiddling with the dials before it decided to pick up something other than static. “I won’t let that happen again… You won’t be hurt like that again.” Four breathes out, though the words are drowned out by the functioning radio.

“Fuck! I love this song!” You squeal, turning the volume up to full, dancing to the blasting music.

“Seriously, Kesha? Out of all the music you could love, it’s this?”

“Don’t be an ass. This is my trailer, and my booze, I can and will kick you out if you’re not careful!”

“It’s stolen booze, so technically, the shop still owns it, not you….”

You don’t really think about your next move, all you know is that one moment you were drinking from the bottle of Jack while dancing and being sassed at by Four, and the next, you had grabbed one of your multiple decorative pillows, and had begun attacking him with it. Four grabbed his own pillow, and retaliated in kind, swatting you left right and centre, all the while attempting to not spill either of your drinks. And thus started the great pillow war of 2020.

*****

You don’t know what time it is, there’s a gentle stream of light washing over you as you carefully peel your eyes open, though a set of curtains over the window make it impossible for you to see anything else, other than the suns rays. Lifting your arms above your head, you stretch your aching body, before finally giving in and opening your eyes fully. It takes far too long for you to realise something was wrong. This was not where you had fallen asleep, quite the opposite actually. You know for a fact you had fallen asleep outside, in the dirt no less, with Four using you as a pillow. Yet somehow, you were now alone, in a strangers bed, inside a strangers trailer….

You sit bolt upright, your stomach instantly churning at your sudden movements, you blanch at the taste of bile as it rises in your throat, swallowing it back down. Slowly, you look around the trailer, finding nothing familiar in the small space. “Four?” It had to be his home… You had been inside everyone else’s trailer, but never his. With a great deal of care, you pull yourself off the bed, pressing a hand over your eyes for a moment, as you feel a wave of dizziness wash over you. “Four? Hello?”

Looking around, you find no trace of him, or at least nothing that pointed to his whereabouts. You pass by a mirror as you walk towards the door, and you take a moment to assess your reflection. Your hair was knotted, sweaty, and had flecks of dirt tangled in it, there were deep set bags under your eyes, and overall you looked, and felt like death. Though all that combined, you still felt better now, than you had yesterday during the briefing.

You allow the trailer door to swing shut behind you, spotting a determined looking Two, marching across base and headed to the rec room. Was there another meeting this morning? Had you slept through the announcement, and Four couldn’t be bothered to wake you up? There was no time to think over the millions of possibilities as to what had happened, all you know, was that if Two was storming off somewhere, it was likely the best course of action would be to follow her.

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Chapter six out now!

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lavishedinjimin · 5 years

Text

coffee break -> jhs

↳ pairing: hoseok x reader ↳ genre: mover!hoseok, fluff ↳ word count: 2.1k ↳ warnings: none — synopsis: Just a simple coffee break with the cute mover boy wouldn’t hurt at all -- right?

a/n: This is a little short oneshot idea that I had for Hobi! I hope you guys like it x

You didn’t know why you would think that moving to a new home was easy.

It wasn’t.

There were huge boxes and loads omnipresent as the moving company that you hired scurried everywhere to get everything done quickly. You had your hair up in a bun so that your hair wouldn’t disturb you as you were double-checking every detail.

“Excuse me miss—” a man carrying two medium-sized boxes say as he tried to move through the hallway.

“O-Oh, sorry,” you quickly move away, letting him pass.

Looking around you, it seems like everything was going smoothly. The house was getting emptier as each hour passes by. At this exact moment, you notice how large the area of your living room was without the huge unnecessary coffee table in the middle. That darn table – which did nothing as it only murdered your poor little toe every once in a while.

You walked out of the house and observed how they were transferring loads inside a large truck. People were constantly going in and out to get all the remaining items, and you tried to calm yourself down with the number of people around your house. Everything was happening so quickly for you to completely wrap your head around it.

On top of that, it was five in the morning, and you were yawning every three minutes.

“Wait, wait!” you stopped a man carrying a purple box that you intended to put your expensive china tea sets in. He pauses immediately and looks at you with a little smile.

“Don’t worry, miss Y/n, I know.” He gestures to the bold red letters that you wrote on top of the box – ‘PLEASE BE CAREFUL! THIS IS MORE EXPENSIVE THAN ANY OF OUR LIVES COMBINED’.

You laughed at yourself, slightly embarrassed as you crossed your arms in front of your chest. “Okay, I trust you—” your eyes fly to the name tag attached on his blue shirt, reading his name, “Hoseok.”

The man smiles wide, witnessing how his eyes turn into little crescents. He seemed to be the same age as you, his black hair parted in the middle, dimples appearing on his cheeks as he grins.

You didn’t know what it was, but there was something about his appearance that wanted you to know him better. He just looked like a person that anyone can get along with. You watch him place the box carefully inside the truck, placing it specifically against a corner, other boxes compelling against it so that it wouldn’t move along the ride. He smiles brightly at you once he was done, raising a thumbs up.

“How long have you lived here?” He suddenly asks, joining you as you walked back inside the almost-empty house. You cross your arms in front of your chest as you think. “About four years. I decided to move because this area is so far from my workplace, and I have to drive for a long time."

“Yeah, I understand. And especially with all the traffic and all that,” He speaks and you nod your head. “Mhmm, and I really hate it when I arrive late. But with the new house, the ride is only thirty minutes.”

Hoseok attentively listens. He has now ditched all of his responsibilities and was latched onto you like a fly over a lightbulb. Maybe it was how you looked with your hair up in a messy bun, or how the morning light shone over your face – illuminating it, he just thought that you looked so beautiful. He finds it cute whenever you’d get hassled, or how you’d still feel so sleepy when he catches you yawn every now and then. He was utterly attracted to you the first time he laid his very own eyes on yours.

You and Hoseok didn’t think of anything much about the situation – a little conversation between loads can do no harm, right?

“Oh, do you want some coffee?” You asked him. You had previously prepared your coffee maker earlier this morning for the workers. And by the looks of his reaction, he apparently didn’t know. Hoseok quirks an eyebrow up, “There’s coffee?”

You giggled at his response, grabbing his wrist as you quickly brought him to the kitchen. Hoseok, on the other hand, felt sparks ignite his body when he felt your touch. Sure, other employees were staring at the two of you, but he was too in his feelings to care. He hasn’t felt this way in a long time, and it felt almost new to him. A smile crept up his lips when you led him to the wooden island where a coffee maker stands in the middle.

“I asked almost everyone if they wanted some coffee – but only one person agreed.” Hoseok smirks as he watches you get a new clean mug and prepare his drink.

“Am I that one?” he grins, and something about that smug look on his face made you blush the slightest bit.

You look down, chuckling as you poured the hot liquid. “Nope,” you said, popping the ‘p’. His laugh fills the room, and you could’ve sworn that you’ve never heard such a wonderful laugh like his.

Once you were done, he held the mug and carefully bringing it up to his lips, blowing on the hot steaming liquid a little bit. “Thank you, angel.”

Angel? Did he really just called you that?

You watched him as he sipped on his drink casually, as if nothing has happened. Maybe that was a normal thing for him? Nevertheless, your cheeks were painted in a shade of red, getting a bit shy. You immediately looked away in embarrassment once he locked eyes with yours. “Uhh, anyway –”

“Jung Hoseok!” a male voice suddenly calls from the doorway and you both whip your head to his direction. You notice how the man looks at Hoseok, then at the coffee on his hands, then at you and he smirks. “When you’re finished with your coffee can you please lend a hand with Jaeho to carry the last few boxes?”

Hoseok nods once, “Sure, I’ll get to it as soon as possible.”

You watch as the man exits as he carries a large yellow box on his hands. You snort when you remember that those were your books that you still ought to read.

“Umm, Y/n?” Hoseok says to grab your attention and you swiftly look at his eyes. “Yes?”

“If you don’t mind me asking…” he drags his sentence out and you quirk an eyebrow up, “do you have a boyfriend? O-or someone you’re currently into?”

Your eyes widen in surprise, not expecting him to ask you that question. You felt your cheeks redden, a smile forming your lips involuntarily. “Um,” you look down on the floor, trying to hide your blush. “I don’t.”

Hoseok chuckles at your cuteness, taking a sip on his hot drink. He felt relieved on the inside, the question that he was dying to know earlier this morning finally out of his chest. His heart jumped when you looked back up at him, eyes locked together.

“T-that’s great,” he stammered a little bit as he couldn’t hide his smile.

“Great?” You smirked, crossing your arms in front of your chest.

“Yeah.” He stated simply. He had a playful look on his face, and you knew what those eyes mean. But you didn’t want to jump into any more conclusions, though. You didn’t think about it too much.

Soon enough, Hoseok finishes his mug and places it on the sink, turning the faucet on but you were faster to move him away. “Hey, hey,” you giggled, “I’ll do it.”

Hoseok chuckles as he observes you washing the mug. You feel his eyes at the back of your head and you quickly spin around, “Aren’t you supposed to help someone?” you smile up at him.

“Oh, right,” he claps his hand once, making you laugh quietly, “I’ll go ahead.”

You sigh once he’s disappeared from your vision and you continue to wash the mug. Hoseok seemed like a pretty cool guy, and he was nice to be around. The two of you somehow clicked instantly, and it feels like you have known him for a very long time whenever you talk to him. He always has this certain grin whenever he talks, and just thinking about his smile makes you smile.

You were a very sentimental person, that’s for sure. You couldn't help but reminisce the past memories that were created in your old house. It was one of the big purchases that you had, and it will always have a place in your heart.

However, you mentally prepare yourself for the number of boxes and items you have to work with. You only wished that everything can just magically organize themselves in a single snap of your fingers – but that’s not real life, sadly.

You sigh once you parked at the front of your new house, climbing up the white steps and you jiggled the key in the lock. Opening the door, you snort at the sight. The image that you had in your head was clearly the same as it is in front of you. Boxes were piled up – neatly – in the living room, all shapes and colors.

“This will be a long night,” you muttered to yourself.

In an instant, your eyes caught an unfamiliar bright blue box settled in the middle of the kitchen island as you were taking a look around the house. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you didn’t remember packing anything in a blue box like this. Should you ignore it and just place it somewhere else? Or should you look inside?

Your instincts went with option two and carefully opened the box with nimble fingers. Your mind went to the moving company, thinking that someone might’ve left this here because they were the previous ones to enter the house. Could it be a housewarming gift from them? You find yourself chuckling at your own thoughts, shaking your head.

Once you opened the lid, you gasp when you saw the coffee maker that you used yesterday. Memories of you and Hoseok came into mind, and your hand immediately flies to cover your mouth in shock. You spot a piece of paper beside it, and you quickly pick it up and read it.

‘Y/n, I think that you forgot to pack this up, so I did it for you. No worries though, think of this as a reverse housewarming gift! Also, I think we should hang out sometime.

Here’s my number, __, hit me up whenever you see this ;)

Hoseok.’

You could’ve sworn that you’ve never smiled any brighter than this moment. You grab your phone from your back pocket in excitement, immediately dialing the written numbers. Your hands were sweaty as you waited for him to pick up, your foot tapping on the marble floor in anticipation. You truly felt like a giddy little high school girl at this time.

“Hello?” his voice spoke through the line, and you felt your heart jump. Your other hand flies up to play with your bottom lip involuntarily.

“Hey, it’s me, Y/n.”

Hoseok can hear the smile in your voice, making him chuckle. He runs a hand through his hair, leaning his back on the chair he was sitting on. “You read the note?”

“Mhmm, I did. Thanks for packing up my coffee maker by the way.” You spoke as you turn your body around to lean against the island. You can hear him laugh over the phone which was music to your ears. “It’s not a problem angel, don’t worry. Have you start unpacking yet?”

“Absolutely not,” you laughed, shaking your head. “I haven’t even started.”

“Do you want me to come over and help you if you want? You know you can’t do all of that on your own.”

“Is that your form of ‘hanging out’?” You playfully said, but you had no problem with it at all. You just wanted to be with him, whatever circumstance it might be.

“...Well kind of, yeah.” he giggled, “You’re talking to a mover boy, Y/n.”

“Okay, okay,” you said in defeat, “You can come over, Hoseok.”

“Great, I’ll be there in twenty. See you.” You said your goodbye and he was the first to leave the call. You sighed, clutching your phone to your chest. “Who knew you’d like a mover boy, Y/n,” you spoke to yourself, “all started from those darn teacups.” Speaking of which, your eyes widened as you immediately scurried back to the living room to find the purple box, wanting to see if something happened to your precious China tea set.

a/n: I didn’t know how to end this, but oop oh well. Give it a note if you liked it, it will really inspire me to do more <3

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translucio · 4 years

Text

im gonna say this here and hope i dont get flack for it because whenever i say it in real life all of the soulslike fans in a 1 mile radius (many of whom are also game designers) crawl out of the woodwork to tell me to shut up and git gud.

i think the soulslike genre of games has some really big flaws that actively work against the fun of the games. and i think that the wave of "super hard" souls wannabe games and die hard fans that accompany them have hurt the games industry by praising the pillars of soulslike gameplay without analyzing its flaws and working to make it better, more fun, and more accessible for the potential audience(s). i don't think games should trend towards massively punishing gameplay with little built-in reward and a one-difficulty-fits-all mentality.

im gonna divide my essay here into a few different points.

1. challenging gameplay: good challenge vs unnecessary punishment. challenge is an extremely popular engagement type, and challenging gameplay can be fun for a number of reasons. primarily, the fun of challenge is in overcoming obstacles: beating a boss, executing a tactical strategy to win a match or solve a problem, training your reflexes to succeed in twitch events, memorizing and countering different threats. all of these are great ways to engage players, but in the soulslike genre in particular it seems easy to confuse challenge with difficulty and punishment.

many soulslike games revel in the "hard as balls" reputation. gameplay is intentionally difficult; death, repetition, and memorization are expected. so how can we preserve and improve the fun of challenging gameplay without making it so difficult, tedious, and punishing that it isn't fun any more-- or that a large portion of the potential audience is turned away?

in my own opinion, there are a few steps to take here. one is to allow failure to be punishing, but make trying again quick and easy. sure, make it hurt when the player dies; a loss of currency or progress is one way to make failure feel consequential and eventual victory even sweeter. but forcing the player to completely restart a level, or backtrack through several minutes' worth of gameplay they've already completed-- with no new content and no way to regain power until they reach what killed them in the first place-- can be extremely discouraging and dull. it may be so tedious that players drop the game entirely-- not from lack of wanting to overcome the challenge, but from boredom and time consumption of simply getting to the challenge itself. allowing a quick and easy retry for challenging encounters removes barriers to the challenge and maximizes the fun of learning, practicing, improving, and completing the encounter.

"but i like losing all my stuff and having to go through all the enemies in the area again before i can try the boss fight!" do you? do you really? are you having fun while you're clearing the same enemy for the 10th time and running back to the arena after doing nothing but die to the same boss all day? or are you having fun while fighting and finally beating the boss?

2. reward the player for completing the main challenges, but also for the process of getting to them and attempting to beat them. it's easy for players to be turned off by a screeching halt in progress from one obstacle they haven't been able to beat, even after several attempts. this compounds with gameplay that forces players to get through challenging gameplay in order to do anything else, whether it be attempting a boss, exploring levels, or reaching a vendor to purchase different equipment. if we want players to keep trying and have fun while they're doing it, it's important to provide rewards throughout the experience within the game itself; the game should not rely solely on the player's sense of satisfaction after beating a difficult encounter.

these rewards can take many different forms-- lore, equipment, currency, new abilities, new enemies, new environments-- but importantly should add interest to gameplay, even when the player is "stuck" on one area or encounter. it's especially good if the player can get stronger between main challenges, as this gives them better ability to overcome the challenges. the player should not feel as though there is nothing they can do to improve their ability to overcome a challenge; gameplay should periodically give the player new ways and motivations to attempt challenges.

3. customizable settings. one thing that makes soulslikes particularly unforgiving to non-hardcore fans of the genre is that they tend to have a set difficulty, with little customizable functionality to make them more accessible. "it's supposed to be hard!" sure. the core experience can be challenging. it can be just as hard as the developers intended for the standard experience. but difficulty is not universal-- many players will experience the base experience differently. additionally, there are plenty of players for any game (who may or may not be part if the primary target audience) who will love many aspects of the game, but be uninterested or unskilled in some parts. if a player loves the atmosphere, levels, narrative, and most of the gameplay systems, but the difficulty of a handful of encounters surpasses their ability, should that stop them from enjoying the whole game? why lose that portion of the audience (many potential customers!) when difficulty settings and toggleable mechanics could solve that problem for them?

optional ways to decrease how punishing failure is, or how demanding encounters are, don't take away from the core experience of the game. you can keep it super hard, if that's the way it was "meant to be played" and your ability level allows you to complete that experience. but optional, toggleable settings do a world of good for players with different abilities and experiences. the more people enjoy the game (both in number of players and depth of enjoyment), the better.

and if you wanna say "but the artistic vision!!" you can suck my ass. sometimes visions are unnecessarily restrictive of players and not actually as fun as they could be.

#i spent an hour writing this instead of eating dinner. hoes mad (im hoes)

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mindflayedr-blog · 5 years

Text

You Make It Easy - Billy Hargrove // p. 2

Setting: December of 1984

➳ You struggle to not fall in love with the boy next door, but what you don’t know is that he already fell for you.

!! the first part did so well im actually surprised !! tysm i really appreciate the feedback <3 here’s part two and part three’s in the works :)) There might be some mistakes that I missed, I apologize in advance :o) Feedback is deeply appreciated tysm again!!

Word count: 2k words again yeehaw

Warnings: cursing as usual

It was the day before Christmas Eve, you asked Billy to drive you around Hawkins since your parents asked you to buy gifts for your relatives in New York. Your parents planned on visiting New York the next day, they, of course, invited you to join them but you instead volunteered to stay and watch the house while they were away visiting relatives.

Billy was happy to accompany you to stores, he would follow you wherever you go and gave his opinions on things when you asked for it. You thought he’d get bored watching you shop for almost the whole day, but he showed no signs of disinterest. He was fun to be around and you were glad he agreed to accompany you. His presence made a seemingly boring task fun.

“Y/N take a look at this,” Billy called for you from another aisle of the store you two were currently in. You walked towards the sound of his voice and found him wearing a Christmas antler headband, “—Don't I look cute?” He chuckled while bobbing his head to make the little bells on the antler ring.

You giggled at the sight of him. “You know what? You actually do but,” you took the headband from him, earning a scowl from Billy. You placed the headband on your head and smiled at him smugly. “I think I look cuter.”

“I won’t argue with that.” Billy replied smiling a smile that made your heart skip a beat. He always managed to make you feel this way and you didn’t like the feeling. It felt wrong and inappropriate since Billy was your best friend.

“Wait put this on again, let me take a picture.” You took the headband off your head and handed it back to him. You dug through your purse for your Polaroid camera and pulled it out once you found it.

“Show this to anyone and you’re dead, Y/L/N.” Billy threatened, but you knew he didn’t mean it. Billy reluctantly placed the headband back on his head and smiled for the camera.

“Why? Are you scared to ruin your reputation? Scared that people would think you’ve gone soft?” You teased as you pressed the button to take a picture.

“That’s exactly why. Are you going to take another one or are we done here?”

You shook the picture, watching the picture of Billy develop. Once it was done developing you smiled at the photo, it was cute and it showed who Billy Hargrove really was. Under his tough exterior is a soft and caring boy that only you get to see.

“Let me just take a hundred more so I can show the whole town.” You joked making Billy practically yank the headband off his head.

“So this is why you’ve been bailing on us, you’re too busy entertaining whores.” An unfamiliar voice called from the entrance of the store followed by a chorus of laughter. You turned around to see who it was and saw a couple of guys around Billy’s age.

“Don’t you ever fucking call her that,” Billy snapped as he charged towards the group of guys, “You’re fucking dead Tommy, you hear me?”

You grabbed the back of Billy’s jacket, pulling him back with all your might. He struggled against your hold, wanting so badly to hurt the person who insulted you.

“Billy it’s okay, it’s not worth it. I don’t give a shit, it’s fine. Please Bill, stop!” You pleaded as you continue to pull him back. You could hear the group of guys laughing as Billy struggled to release himself from your grip. Eventually, your hold faltered which allowed him to escape. The way he walked towards the group made your skin crawl. As he stepped closer and closer to the group, you saw them began to panic, especially Tommy. Some of Tommy’s friends even walked out of the store, not wanting to get their ass beaten. You raced towards Billy to try to break off the potential fight but you were unfortunately not fast enough, Billy already grabbed a hold of Tommy’s collar and began to drag him outside. You burst out the door panicking, you didn’t want Billy to get in a fight because of you.

“Billy please! Stop! It’s not worth it! You could get in trouble, come on Billy please just take me home!” You shouted firmly, but despite that Billy didn’t seem to hear. You watched as he slammed Tommy on the snow covered pavement, preparing to punch the living daylights out of him.

“IT WAS A JOKE I SWEAR! I DIDN’T MEAN IT! I’LL STOP JUST PLEASE DON’T-“ Tommy’s pleas were stopped by Billy as he took a hard blow at Tommy’s jaw.

“BILLY STOP! JESUS CHRIST!” You screamed as you pulled him back with all of your strength, giving Tommy a chance to escape. Billy turned towards you with anger in his eyes which gave you goosebumps, but you ignored the feeling. You cupped his face and looked at him straight in the eye, “Billy breathe, it’s okay. Calm down.” You said in a soft voice, trying to calm him down.

“He called you a whore, Y/N! Why didn’t you let me beat his ass?” Billy responded angrily but the terrifying fire in his eyes disappeared.

“It’s not worth it, that’s why. He’s just being stupid and immature, picking a fight with guys like him is unnecessary.”

“Are you fucking serious? That’s how you’re going to react? You’re just going to let him say that shit about you? I can’t believe you!” Billy retorted, taking your hands off his face. He walked away from you and headed towards his car, you followed behind him.

“You need to have patience, Bill. We could’ve handled that differently. Better yet, you could’ve just let me handle it. Beating the shit out of him won’t solve anything.” You said calmly as you opened the car door and stepped inside, Billy did the same except he opened the door so harshly that you were afraid it was going to be ripped off.

“That’s fucking bullshit, he needed to get his ass handed to him! He can’t say shit like that to you, I won’t allow it. I’m going to find him and I’m going to beat his sorry little ass.” He started the car and sped away, you sighed in frustration and turned away from him to focus on the surroundings on your window.

“Whatever Hargrove, do what you want.” You replied coldly, now ignoring him.

Billy didn’t bother to reply, the car ride was silent after that. Billy sped around downtown Hawkins trying to find Tommy but after ten minutes of driving around, you noticed he was now driving home. The whole ride was silent, but every once in a while you could feel Billy glancing at you. You didn’t know why and you didn’t bother to find out, you were too annoyed to talk to him.

After a couple of minutes of driving, he stops in front of your house. You unbuckled your seatbelt, gathered all your purchased gifts, and opened the car door.

“Thanks for the ride, goodnight.” You said while not bothering to look at Billy, but before you could close the door, Billy speaks up.

“Is that all you’re going to say? That’s it?”

“What else do you want me to say?” You replied passively, finally looking at him in the eye.

“Are we not going to talk about- You know what? Whatever, goodnight.”

You closed the door and walked towards your front door, you felt bad for leaving things the way they were with Billy, but you were too upset and too prideful to tell him that you may have overreacted a little. Before stepping inside you watched Billy as he backed up out of your driveway and drive to his house which was next door. He looked upset and you felt even worse than before. He sees you looking at him, making you quickly go inside your house.

“Hey honey, how was shopping? Did you get everything?” Your dad greeted you with a warm smile as you stepped inside, he was helping your mom make dinner.

“We’re so sorry to make you have to go get all that for us, we just couldn’t get a day off today.” Your mom said while giving you a sympathetic look. You watched as she put a tray of asparagus inside the oven to bake.

“It’s fine, it wasn’t a lot,” You replied while setting the bags full of gifts on the floor, “I’m going to head upstairs, night.”

“You’re not going to eat dinner? Is everything okay?” Your dad asked, his voice filled with concern but you sped up the stairs and didn’t bother to reply.

You kicked off your shoes and tossed yourself into bed. You groaned in frustration, regretting the fact that you didn’t apologize and talk to Billy about things. You stared at your ceiling, your mind running a hundred miles per hour. Then, you finally fell asleep after staring for god knows how long.

---

You woke up to the sound of what it sounds to be like rocks hitting your window. You rubbed your eyes trying to get rid of the tiredness and stretched. You got up from your bed and looked out your window squinting to see who’s outside. When your eyes finally focused you see Billy standing on the snowy pavement grinning at the sight of you.

“What light through whatever window breaks! It is the west? East? And you’re the moon!” Billy slurred, giving you a drunk and awfully terrible rendition of Romeo and Juliet, clouds of vapor escaped his mouth as he spoke. You bite back a laugh and wondered how he knows Shakespeare even though he repulsed reading.

“What the hell are you doing? And stop yelling it’s 1 a.m, you’re going to wake up the entire block idiot.”

“So I went to a party, drank a little, but it got boring and you kept popping up in my head so I was like ‘Hey Billy since Y/N’s bothering you why don’t you bother her?’ and now I’m here! Also it’s cold Y/N, winter’s a bitch.” Billy said as he rubbed the sleeves of his jacket trying to warm himself. You blushed at his comment, even at his drunken state he still thought of you.

“Shut up and hold still, I’m coming downstairs to let you in but you have to be quiet. You understand?” You said as you put on your jacket that was laying on your desk.

“Okay I’ll be quiet I promise. Hurry please I’m reallllyyyy cold.” Billy mumbled as he sat down on the snow covered sidewalk to wait for you.

You tiptoed out of your bedroom, trying not to wake your parents. Then, you rushed down the stairs and opened the front door to go outside.

“Y/N you came! I’m so glad you could be here! What a pleasant surprise!” Billy said as he struggled to get up from the sidewalk. You rolled your eyes and walked to him to help him up.

“You’re an idiot, Billy Hargrove. Do you know that?”

“You’ve said that twice, but thanks for reminding me, sweetheart.” Billy gave you a lopsided smile as you grabbed his arm and pulled to help him stand. You then swung his arm on your shoulder and walked him inside your house. It was a struggle to bring Billy up the stairs to your room but you managed. Once you successfully reached your room, Billy kicked off his shoes and wasted no time to belly flop onto your bed.

“Make room for me dickhead, this is my bed.” You giggles softly as you tried to push him towards the wall. You hopped into bed and into the covers to try and warm yourself from the cold, you spread your thick comforter and covered Billy too so he could be warm.

“I’m warm now, thanks babe.” Billy whispered while giving you a wink, which made you giggle at how dumb he’s acting. He scoots closer to you and stared into your eyes, a sweet smile was plastered on his face.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” You whispered softly so only he can hear and you tucked a loose strand of hair that was covering his eye behind his ear.

“Nothing, I just love you.” Billy smiles, his eyes twinkling. He then reached over to caress your face, “but shhh, don’t tell anyone okay? It’s a secret, I have a reputation that I have to take care of.” Billy spoke in a hushed tone while he places his index finger on your lips to silence your already silent mouth. Your heart became heavy with sadness knowing that he probably doesn’t mean it and that he’ll forget about what he said first thing in the morning. For weeks you’ve struggled to avoid your feelings for Billy but now that he’d said what he said, everything that you’ve tried to avoid feeling came pouring out. You run your hand through his curls as a tear escaped your eye, you tried to wipe it away but Billy already noticed. His brows furrowed at the sight of you crying.

“Oh no why are you crying princess? Who should I fight? I’m ready to fight.” Billy said as he pulls you toward him for a hug. His arm rubs your back as he tries to soothe your crying.

“I’m just sad because you’ve got too much to drink and you won’t remember what you just said tomorrow morning.” You said as you snuggled closer to him, taking in his scent. More tears fell from your eyes.

“If that’s why you’re sad then I’m going to remember what I said. I’m smart Y/N, I got this. I won’t let you down. Also, I’m not drunk! That’s bullshit.” Billy slurred as he plants a kiss on your forehead making you cry even more.

“You make it so easy to fall in love with you, I’ve only known you for a couple of weeks and you’ve already got me crying for you,” Three words were on your mind, three words that are dying to come out. Now, those same three words were finally leaving your mind after dodging it for the past few weeks, refusing to feel the emotions that were connected to it, “I love you, Billy Hargrove and it sucks because you won’t ever feel the same. You’re just drunk and saying things you don’t mean.” You confessed to him while softly sobbing into his jean jacket, you’ve finally let out all the pent up emotions that you’ve been struggling to ignore for the past few weeks. All those weeks of suppressing your emotions were all for nothing because now you’ve finally admitted everything. Now that you’ve said it, it was now real and concrete. There was no turning back.

“Shhh Y/N, don’t cry you’re too pretty to cry! Don’t cry my darling...” Billy said softly while he kissed your head. After a couple of seconds he began to softly snore which led you to believe that he fell asleep, leaving you to deal with your sadness by yourself. You sniffed and wiped your tears with your hand. You snuggled closer to him, taking in the moment knowing that he’ll be gone in the morning and there’ll be no one left for you to hold.

---

If you want to be tagged lmk :o)

Tag list: @qtmeryr

#stranger things #dacre montgomery #Billy Hargrove #stranger things season 3 #stranger things 3 #ST3 #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove fanfiction #stranger things 2 #stranger things season 2 #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things fandom

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thoughtwise · 4 years

Text

today

Self love. In the words of bestdressed (le YouTube oui oui), isn’t the surface level bull that is fed to girls by the best selling novels like girl boss and such. I am inclined to agree.

The majority of the humans I see around me is a shell, a thin one at that, designed to conceal most of their inner turmoil. The daily hustle and bustle usually involves a certain kind of regularity and controlled quality that the shell they created is enough to shield them of most of it. It allows them to co-exist with their own irregulation. We go on living inside ourself, being so closed off that we fail to acknowledge the ways that our view of what we are doing and our thought patterns single us out, how it makes us seem pathetic, in opposition to being strong, how our past and nurture process erodes who we are as individuals.

It is during the crucial moments of change (a trauma, a life-death experience,..) or a beginning (say, the New Year?) that the time is left out there to reflect to truly think back on your insecurities and how they come to be (the additional help of mildly annoying familial interaction certainly helps to jog back up the memories).

I never really was forced to closely examine my actions in contrast with that of others, because my self proclaimed love for me was just deep enough that in life, I hardly ever had to be responsible enough to see what actions speaks of originality and which is just a lasting “scar” from a more difficult time mentally.

for the sake of being realistic, I guess I will be airing my stuff out for you to see:

Hiding food: when my sister was 14 and I was 7, she started gaining weight. Before that, she was skinny and amazing and a dancer, and perfect in all ways. My family, being a special kind of neurotic and perfectionist, could hardly bear seeing the additional fat mar her (actually theirs) spotless existence. So they started portion controlling the both of us. Not by giving us healthy food, or by giving us exercises to do. No they fat shamed her, and stopped both of us from eating. I also had the streak of eating a lot of junk food from stress so for me it was imperative that no one finds out. So since 7 years of age, I have been eating food in secret or in isolation, because to me being female and having an appetite was a terribly horrible and juxtaposing thing. This was very problematic though, because aside from being a unhealthy mindset with food, it makes me a jerk for spreading this image of effortlessness when it comes to diet while actually im crawling on my floor and pushed into a fit of anxiety every time I gain a pound.

Baggy clothes: despite being perfectly healthy, I have never felt comfortable with my clothes. The perfectionism running in my family groomed me into being someone with a highly borderline tendencies: I am either risking hypothermia with my outfit choice (my preferred way of showing that I am confident about my body is flaunt it but you do you boo) and trying to hide myself and all of my existence in large and unwashed clothes (my sure fire way of feeling at once, safe and like shit for not keeping myself up to my set standards of fashion (cue NCT WinWin meme). Never once did I feel happy with myself and I always try to hide or to lie to make myself look better. It’s all because at the root, I feel lacking and terrible and all my life choices weighs heavily in my heart. Because I am imperfects, in my mind, I am worthless and unworthy of anything.

Over consumption: as much as I would like for all my problems to stem from my family, I have to take the brunt for this one, my own feeling of lacking and my need for drama and being above and beyond drives me to make unnecessary purchases since surely, the material possession would calm my heart and fill my dark hole of depression

i am imperfect and i will always be. as much as i want being a NASA scientist and all other possible professions at the same time possible, i dont think time and life works that way.

the only thing i have the power to change is my response to the situation. and thats what the blog is about.

#newyear #life #reflection #love #depressed

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chimcharstar · 5 years

Note

1-50 ho

you got it ho

1. What’s your favorite candle scent?

I AM SO GLAD YOU ASKED. ive been Purchasing various smelly candles for my gay divination activities, and i have a few nominees. i first thought of the candle i have now, a pink one with a very sweet vanilla smell, i love very sweet smells because it makes me think of candy which i tend to try to fill my inner void with. however im going to go with the first candle i bought, a dark orange one with a citrus smell. citrus scents are my next favourite and specifically this one reminded me of curiously smelling candles at my piano teachers apartment when i was very young.

2. What female celebrity do you wish was your sister?

idk. ive been listening to her lion king stuff lately. dont judge me i needed to hear remixes of lion king music i was lost in that sauce in high school. and i just think shes neat. i dont think she would aggressively make me feel bad about everything, UNLIKE SOME PEOPLE

3. What male celebrity do you wish was your brother?

Look……. i really don’t know???? what is the criteria?? do they need to be like my siblings? dare i criticize my arguably criticizable siblings by picking out my ideal siblings? if i pick an ideal sibling, what does that say about what im lacking in my life? do i pick celebrities i hate so theoretically my family shames them into becoming silent and self-defeating

4. How old do you think you’ll be when you get married?

50. i think im going to have to figure myself out for a long time, and achieve some personal goals first. thats my excessively confident prediction and PERHAPS educated guess

5. Do you know a hoarder?

nnnnnoooooooo????? not a real, cant function because of hoarding hoarder. i can see in a few family members, including myself, liking to hang onto things that maybe become sentimental/unnecessary clutter but that sounds like something many non-hoarders experience?

6. Can you do a split?

lemme try one sec

7. How old were you when you learned how to ride a bike?

Idk maybe 7? Or 11? i think my parents taught me at a children age and then i started biking for fun like, later, like pre middle school?

8. How many oceans have you swam in?

1. i dont really remember swimming in an ocean but i may have faded childhood memories of salty water and seaweed

9. How many countries have you been to?

2… i went to idaho for a band trip… my dad really doesnt like travelling

10. Is anyone in your family in the army?

HAHAHA

NO. ACTUALLY YES. but its funny because the specific brand of christianity we are supposed to be is super pacifist so ive heard. but then i remembered one dude apparently who joined the us military?????? it seemed like it was… an unusual choice. i dont really know anything else about this guy, not even his name

11. What would you name your daughter if you had one?

🙏 *inhale* buddy. oooooohhffffff i want to say something gender neutral honestly. i dont want to rock the boat being unconventional or something but im just thinking of all those years trying to live up to a feminine name

12. What would you name your son if you had one?

same i guess… why have i never thought about this????? was i preoccupied naming myself.

13. What’s the worst grade you got on a test?

hmmmmm hmmmmm trying to unlock the vault. i think i remember a 1 or a 0 on a math quiz. i think i got 30% or something very very bad (i dont even want to know) on my last english exam, but to be fair, i was having such a bad mental breakdown my professor did an intervention

14. What was your favorite TV show when you were a child?

like a very very small child? i was obsessed with the save-ums (?!?!?) for some reason. i would sing the anthem… no. theme song? i dont know. i guess it was catchy and there were lots of fun characters. OHHHH I SEE WHATS WRONG

ITS BECAUSE WE ONLY HAD A TV TILL I WAS LIKE 5 OR SOMETHING. what are you cultured people watching as children? what are the shows?

15. What did you dress up as on Halloween when you were eight?

>:(

My Halloween experience:

i dont even remember i probably had some kind of fairy wings? i think i remember fairy wings. we went to one (1) house. later on, since we werent allowed to go trick-or-treating, we were each allotted a certain amount of candy, and if we ate more than a designated amount per day, we were in trouble and wouldnt be allowed anymore. i do remember getting in trouble for this. i think i stole someones candy. sibling against sibling. finally we were allowed to go trick or treating, i went with my younger brothers and by then, was a teenager and felt too tall and really uncomfortable

LMAO I JUST REMEMBERED THAT LAST TIME WE WENT TRICK-OR-TREATING NOT IN A RURAL AREA, my dad drove us around in a van and watched us like a hawk i believe. it was very tense and methodical.

16. Have you read any of the Harry Potter, Hunger Games or Twilight series?

i read the harry potter series (I WROTE SIBLIGS LOL) more times than i could count while growing up. i read the first hunger games book and didnt fancy it for whatever reason, and i had an obnoxious twilight-hating phase.

17. Would you rather have an American accent or a British accent?

sometimes, though, im really genuinely worried about what accent i do have. im worried i read so much harry potter growing up, it rubbed off on me. when i was a server, people would ask about an unusual accent i apparently had, and once, when i was talking to a super british guy who called me luv at walmart, he was like STOP. WAIT. YOU HAVE A BRITISH ACCENT. and i was like WHAT UHHH BYEBYE AND HE WAS LIKE NO. I HEARD YOU. STOP and i was like that michael jackson meme where he covers his face running away and everyone else in the line was staring

18. Did your mother go to college?

i believe she went to a bible college where people put a grand piano on top of the roof.

19. Are your grandparents still married?

all of my grandparents are dead.

…. hmmMMMM yow. ok. my grandparents who werent estranged stayed married for as long as either of them were living… however, my OTHER grandparents, i mean the fucking kidnappers, my abuser grandpa… remarried? when he was… really really aging. im judging him for it because i know what kind of person he was.

20. Have you ever taken karate lessons?

I WISH. my parents didnt seem to like that sort of thing (surprise). im interested in it now but… as usual… i feel like its too late, im too old.

21. Do you know who Kermit the frog is?

….. i… i thought i did… hes blessed… thats all.

22. What’s the first amusement park you’ve been to?

ಠ_ಠ

*crickets*

how could you ask me this?

no wait! i went to the waterslides. then, later on, i was never allowed to go to the waterslides.

23. What language, besides your native language, would you like to be fluent in?

Spanish. ive been “intending” to learn for a long time, and a lot of people who have been really good influences on me and been genuinely kind to me speak it, id like to learn it

24. Do you spell the color as grey or gray?

grey

one sec

yup thats canadian!

25. Is your father bald?

on the top of his head, yes >:(

26. Do you know triplets?

no?

27. Do you prefer Titanic or The Notebook?

no? what is this straight stuff? i listened to the dramatic titanic song and felt nothing.

28. Have you ever had Indian food?

i guess so, at a friends house! i dont think otherwise ive gone to a restaurant and actually had indian food

29. What’s the name of your favorite restaurant?

*gazes tearily at my OWN FUCKING OLD WORKPLACE

the food was sO GOOD MAN. IT WAS SO GOOD. im just not saying because despite how stalkable i probably am already, i dont want to be specific

30. Have you ever been to Olive Garden?

no whats that

31. Do you belong to any warehouse stores (Costco, BJ’s, etc.)?

belong? whats bjs? whats a warehouse for?

32. What would your parents have named you if you were the opposite gender?

i decided at one point they would never tell me this and it was no use asking. i do know they almost named my brother a very fusty old fashioned name fitting in with the thomas the tank engine theme

33. If you have a nickname, what is it?

G is the ONLY one i will accept so far.

34. Who’s your favorite person in the world?

i……… hmmmm…. i really dont like picking favourites. each person in my life has a unique relationship with me (even though a lot of them arent very warm, trusting or close). because of unhealthy middle school friendships ive grown an aversion to ranking relationships as if they have material value.

35. Would you rather live in a rural area or in the suburbs?

rural, i think. i need nature in my life!!! but i also need to be able to have connections to people.

36. Can you whistle?

yes, but not very loudly or accurately

37. Do you sleep with a nightlight?

no, but ive always wanted a nightlight

38. Do you eat breakfast every morning?

ive started to, yeah! this morning i made a whole thing with bread and mushrooms and eggs, and coffee, and i ate it outside watching the traffic. im really trying to treat myself nicely you see. its what id do for someone else.

39. Do you take any pills or medication daily?

THAT

BOY

JUICE!

WELCOME TO MY BUILD A BOY WORKSHOP!

SHOTS!SHOTS!SHOTS!

and im really fortunate to be in pretty good health, and have access to things i do need

40. What medical conditions do you have?

I dont think… i actually have any. id say gender dysphoria but i think it was informed consent. (im VERY lucky)

im pretty sure there are SOME mental conditions running around undiagnosed. MY BRAIN IS NOT WORKING PROPERLY

41. How many times have you been to the hospital?

for myself? once… when i got hives and started swelling up all over, but otherwise was fine. i really wonder what that was. other times was visiting sick/dying relatives which has made me feel sad and apprehensive whenever i enter a hospital or smell the food

42. Have you ever seen Finding Nemo?

yes! i had a gerbil named nemo!

43. Where do you buy your jeans?

i dont … remember … really nowhere special i actually have yet to find some jeans i LOVE. sometimes there is a pair of jeans that sparks joy. i do not have such a pair

44. What’s the last compliment you got?

my sister said my pants looked good on me. they are actually their pants, which they left on the floor in my room for an unknown reason, and they want them back. of course.

but because im excited about it and want to brag, the real compliment was when i made borscht and my sister not only ate it faster than me, but wanted a second helping. and my roommate stuck his face in the steam and said it smelled good. hell yes. i put fucking cilantro in it. fcking beast mode.

45. Do you usually remember your dreams in the morning?

yes. theyre usually really emotional and symbolic. if ive been talking to my parents, theyre usually nightmares. ive been reading about dream interpretation for a long time to deal with some of the ominous images that can come up

46. What flavor tea do you enjoy?

red rose reminds me of wheni was little my mom would make really sweet sweet red rose tea for me (thats the kind she drinks all the time) and it brings me those good feelings. otherwise licorice spice really appeald to me for some reason.

47. How many pairs of shoes do you currently own?

LMAO UHHH…brb

six. because of social pressure.

48. What religion will you raise your children to practice?

i never thought about this kind of thing…. i really don’t know….. id just want them to know how to be kind to others and themselves and thats literally it.

49. How old were you when you found out that Santa wasn’t real?

i was one of those edgy kids trying to spoil it for everyone. guess what other common fun thing my parents didnt do

50. Why do you have a youtube?

i dont! so i dont know what this question means! :)

HOLY SHIT I MADE IT THRU HIGH FIVE

#rambling #WOW #bug

2 notes · View notes

fonix-girl · 5 years

Text

One of my bosses is one of those gen x’s who rants about the lack of communication in the newer generations and how were all additcted to our phones and that’s the root of all the evil and how it’s rude to be on the phone when you’re checking out instead of making conversation with the clerk and like, I’m so done. But this is one of my bosses and she already is kinda iffy on liking me so imma go off here.

She gets irritated when my fellow work studies and I are on our phones at work. Keep in mind that unless we have a project and if we’re keeping up with the book shelving and refilling the paper in the printers, no other boss cares what we do behind the front desk as long as we promptly stop whenever someone comes up to check out a book or something, or they need help. She has no problem with me reading a physical book in my hands, but if I’m reading a book on my phone it’s apparently a problem. I see no difference, but she does apparently.

She went on a tear recently about how people don’t know how to communicate in person anymore. Really? Are you kidding me? Yea, I have a few friends where I’m at rn. But guess what. As a college kid most of my close friends are scattered across the country (if not the world), and the friends I have here have different schedules. I can comminicate in person just fine. I’m not much of one for small talk outside of work obligations, but I don’t see a purpose in chatting idly with strangers outside of my job? Sure I’ll say hi to a clerk if I’m making a purchase but I don’t need to make conversation.

She gets so frustrated when people walk around with earbuds in. “They don’t notice if someone’s talking to them!” “It’s rude!” Well if they’ve got earbuds in that usually signifies they don’t want to talk and don’t need help? I mean, I only put one earbud in myself usually, even at home, purely for safety reasons (I’m a girl, gotta be careful walking around alone), but I don’t usually want to talk to people when I’m going places? If a friend wants to get my attention they can wave or tap my arm, and I’m all theirs attention wise. But otherwise, I don’t think it’s rude to not want to uncessarily talk to strangers or people you don’t know very well, I think it’s more rude to expect strangers to talk to you, personally.

I’m very tired of these sorts of tears she goes on. I’m generally tired as a college student taking 21 credit hours and working 20 hour weeks. (Not to mention that I’ve had insomnia since seventh grade so exhaustion is like my permanent state of being.) But this woman’s insistence on small talk before I leave at the end of my shift kills me. My other two bosses (another gen x who’s generally done with everything and everyone at any given moment, and a millennial who I very much enjoy talking to) and fellow work studies try to avoid her when they leave because if she catches any of us as we’re leaving she’ll pull us into conversation.

On that note, I think she’s at least started to get the hint when it comes to me that by the time I’m getting ready to leave I don’t want to talk to anyone (mon and tues I leave at 6, thurs at 7). Because not that she realizes it, but it’s been a long day/week for me, and I’m an ambivert with a social battery that is drained at the end of the day. I’ve spent time at work helping people. I’ve been going to classes. I DONT WANT TO TALK AS IM TRYING TO GO HOME AND EAT SO I CAN SHOWER AND SLEEP THANKS. I’m not being super rude, I’m just trying to end my day.

On the note of the small talk that this boss loves and critizes people in general for not doing because like I said I hate small talk. Yes, I do it constantly st work. I do it with my polite customer service smile. And I do it because I get paid to and that’s fine. But screw small talk. If I’m not getting paid to do it I don’t wanna do it. It might just be an INFJ thing or whatever, but it’s so vapid and useless and a waste of valuable time. Also, why would I smile at random strangers? I’ve been raised being told I have to be careful with strangers, particularly men. I’m a girl who (despite knowing how to kill someone in various ways, it’s surprising easy!) doesn’t want to get into unnecessary altercations. I don’t want random people approaching me (not including work things) and talking to me? That’s not safe my dude. How do you think some serial killer lure their vics? I’ve had to many friends (male and female alike) who’ve been harassed and are to anxious to polite to tell someone to get the heck away and leave me alone—I’m not going to put myself in any of those situations if I can help it. Sure maybe it seems rude but I care more about the safety and well-being of me and mine than I do about a stranger (children being the acception, as I am a mom friend and children don’t deserve to suffer).

Idk. I don’t have much else at the moment. I’m really just frustrated with her attitude. I’m not “shy” or “anti-social” or “bad at communicating” like she tends to heavily imply. I’m selectively social and find small talk incredibly useless and a waste of time. I’m a writer. A really good public speaker. A mom friend who can generally figure out what a hurting or upset friend needs hear. I can craft pages and pages of commincation, and I have no problem carrying on meaningful conversations. I’m just a true neutral who prefers her own because they’re the ones I like. I don’t believe in the obligation to be super polite to everyone no matter what. I won’t be mean or anything unless they provoke it, but I don’t see the need to talk to strangers unless I’m getting paid or I need to actually talk to them about something. And I wish these older people who do nothing but criticize all change and younger generations would LISTEN and PONDER about why things have changed instead of saying we’re rude and anti-social. This isn’t the 50s. That picture perfect isn’t the ideal for everyone and most of us don’t want that (I mean the anti-depressant useage was higher then than any other time in American history, I friggin wonder why!). Just…don’t be so judgy. I don’t generally assume things about people (and if I do they’re shallow assumptions that are capable of changing if I gain new info and need to change) so I’m politely asking for others to do the same.

Also just leave me be when I’m trying to go home, Diane. Seriously. (And I know she’ll never see this because she doesn’t even know what tumblr is, and even if my millennial boss sees this (which she won’t she’s in totally different tumblr circles) she won’t rat me out.)

5 notes · View notes

letsimportanttreecollection-blog · 6 years

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and what car insurance you have?

What is the Cheapest Insurance?

Hi. My dad has been having AAA as his insurance for $82, compared to our other family members insurance, that is pretty over priced. Isn't the insurance price supposed to go down if you didn't violate anything over the year? And also, i am 16, and have my license, i basically have my dad's old car so he needs to get me into his insurance. What is the best insurance for me and him together? I know Im a minor and the insurance is going to go up but what is the cheapest insurance or best insurance for both of us? My dad wants to switch if ever we find a good deal?""

Does anyone know the best car insurance to buy from with just the minimum required?

i am so sick of car insurance companies taking advantage of people with these super high prices just because the dumb law says you have to have insurance.

How much has your health insurance gone up since the affordable health care act was passed?

I just got notice mine went up by 33.5% last week. Why is my insurance getting less affordable instead of more affordable?

How do you find out if a driver has insurance or not?

My car got hit and the driver took off. I have their name, address, and vin number but they did not provide an insurance company name either because they don't have it or there's a possibility that it was not provided at the time. Who can find this out for me, the police said they can't and my insurance company said they don't think they can either....""

Can I buy Motorcycle Insurance for 3 months?

Is it possible for Geico to do that?

How much will be my car insurance? (I'm serious)?

Guys please take this question seriously and don't even try to answer unless u r going to answer thoroughly I'm 18 and will be 19 in october And I'm getting driver license in a month My parents are not citizen and they don't live in US But I'm citizen and go to high school I heard that my car insurance is extremely expensive since my parents don't live in US But I really NEED to drive my own car ( Not i want to, i NEED it!) I'm aware that the insurance fee depends on companies ***So what I want is approximation or similar examples or similar cases (My GPA is over 4.0 so probably there will be discount... *** if there is, i need every info for discount) And only my mom got her license when she stayed here for few month last year She needs to renew it and she is registered to my uncle's car (I live with my uncle) ***Does this affect my fee? I'm working in city recreation department How can I go work if i don't have car? Now...I ride bike for 4miles to go there... Please help me""

I am looking to get a new car. I am currently on moms insurance - please read below?

I am 26 and purchasing my first new car - I am currently on moms insurance. I will be getting my own insurance. Do you need proof the day you purchase of your OWN insurance - or is proof of my moms insurance enough until I get my own? Also, when you purchase a new car - can you drive off the lot the day that you purchase it? Thanks!""

What insurance companies are cheap for young drivers that have 6points due to non insurance?

What is Private Health Insurance?

My work provides me with insurance that covers medical and some RX. Is this considered Private insurance? Or is Private insurance when you go and purchase the insurance on your own?

How much does insurance cover?

I have blue cross shield insurance I am fourteen how much would I be for Invisalign On my bottom teeth? I got braces on my top years ago The insurance covered all of my tonsilectomy we paid nothing out of pocket.

Is insurance affordable under the Affordable Care Act?

Auto Insurance Quote too high?

I got an insurance quote from Amica Insurance. I've never had any ticketes or anything and they want $ 180 per month. With Farmers it is $360 every 6 months. Why the big difference? I heard Amica is supposed to be cheaper? Thanks

Teen insurance and info two questions in one?

Hi, i am having a tough time with auto insurance qoutes and prices, so i could use some help. Question 1. ok, i am 15, will be 16 in May, if that helps, i have a 1994 Dodge full size van of my own (title was signed to me) and i am getting ready to tag it. i also live in Kansas. ok, i have $500 dollars saved up and have a job that i work 2 days a week and i make about $200 a week. now, i would like to buy my own insurance if possible. is it possible? Question 2. if i can not buy my insurance, can i put the insurance in my mom's name only, and then title it in mine? but one way or the other I HAVE to title it, the title is written out to me on the back in ink, so...................... thanks to any answers or if you know any good cheap insurance companies thanks""

What are typical limits on a full coverage auto insurance policy.?

I was recently in a mans vehicle when he wrecked, I was pretty seriously injured, and now have a lot of medical bills, and surgery bills. I know that he has a full coverage policy with Geico, because they have contacted me, and told me that. The only thing that they will not tell me is his personal limits. I have found out though that He has a history of accidents, and DUI'S. I do not know if that has any affect on his limits or not. I am just concerened about my bills getting paid, and my reimbursement for my lost time, and pain and suffering.""

""Im 17 how much would insurance be for an an Infinity QX56 2013? Its fully loaded and costs $80,470.?

I want one so bad!

Is insurance must for Two Wheelers?

I have a four years old Honda Unicorn. Till now I have insurance for my bike. Now if I do not renew the insurance, what are expected problems ? Legally am I bound to have some insurance ?""

Does anyone recommend a cheap company for my first car insurance policy?

I only have a 1.2 punto so I'm just looking for a nice cheap quote - if such thing exsists?

Self Employed Health Insurance?

My father just quit his old job, he couldn't work there anymore (Too long commute and we lost a parent, so he had to stay closer home for the family) So now he is self employed. We are trying to find insurance that will cover him, 4 children, vision (we all wear glasses) + dental. Does anyone have any suggestions? (We live in PA)""

Do 'normal' car insurance companies insure exotic cars as well?

I've gone to multiple popular car insurance agencies websites and tried to get a quote for a Lamborghini, but in the drop down menu there is never an option for it. I'm beginning to wonder if they even do insure these kinds of cars?""

ninja quotes insurance

How can I get medical insurance if I have a history of pancreatitis?

I've never had medical insurance b/c I've never had a reason too. Never had any major sickness before now, never a broken bone and never sprained anything. My pancreas suddenly became inflamed. It wasn't caused by drinking, I hate the stuff! I believe it was caused by smoking. I've had a few episodes of pancreatitis and was hospitalized once in which it cost an arm and a leg. Should have went to the hospital this last time, but I was so scared of the extra costs. Your pancreas is a major organ. You can't live without it. Am I going to just have to grin and bare it and leave a debt to my family when I die?! I tried applying for the discount but I wasn't eligible b/c I don't have a job. I haven't had one in 4 years. What are you to do. No insurance company will accept me due to the medical problems. I'm scared of what I'll be charged, but even more scared of the pancreas killing me.""

Car insurance?

I heard that you will pay less for auto insurance if you have your license and a clean record even when you nor our family memeber have a car. IS that ture? I mean like you didnt buy a car or insurance when you first get ur license.

Will I be able to buy car insurance?Thanks?

Im 19 and I was on my dads Metropolitan insurance company. I had 2004 Honda Civic but my dad had the car title in his name. I crashed my car and I was at fault so now we're waiting for the case to settle. My dad wants to wait for the case to settle before I buy another car. The case might take another year or more before its settled. I would like to buy my own insurance and my own car. How will the insurance work out or whats the cheapest insurance? Thanks

Is it illegal if someone else pays for my health insurance?

I lost my job last month, and I need to know if there would anything illegal or wrong if say a relative paid for my health insurance until I get a new job? The insurance is through this new Affordable Care Act program.""

""My car insurance was voided in the past, and now I can't get a quote anywhere, can anyone help?!?""

When I started learning to drive at 17, I decided to buy my self a cheap car so that I'd be able to get more experience behind the wheel, pass my test quicker and have a car as soon as I passed my test. I was insured on my provisional license with an insurance company which specialised in learner drivers. However, I ended up getting 3 points on my license the week before I passed my test, in what I still think were pretty unfair circumstances. My house doesn't have a drive or a garage and so I had to park my car on the road in front of my house, or on a street round the corner when there were no spaces. As it was my first car I was really excited, and without understanding that I could get in trouble for it, I used to sometimes sit in my car and listen to music with my friends. The week before I passed my test we were sat chatting when a police car came down the road and pulled up behind us. Someone had broken into some allotments nearby and they were questioning us as to if we had seen anything. They searched my car- for tools that could suggest we had done it I presume, and when they found nothing they ran my license and obviously realised I only had a provisional license. I still at this point didn't realise I had done anything wrong, I wasn't driving the car, simply sat in it so I didn't realise I had committed an offence. The police informed me that because the engine was running, I could have been driving or about to drive and on that basis they convicted me for driving without a license. I only got 3 points and a 60 fine due to the fact I wasn't actually driving and at the time I accepted that with relief, I was terrified I'd get a ban or lose my license or get a massively unaffordable fine. I could have appealed but that would have meant going to court and I was only 17 and that terrified me. I declared the points to my insurance company straght away, but due to the nature of the offence my insurance was invalidated and void. I've only just now realised how serious having insurance voided in the past is. I'm supposed to be moving a 5 hours away in a few months for a job, and I have plenty of money saved for car insurance and a car, as without a car, the move is completely unrealistic. Without a car I won't be able to get to work as the hours are unsocial and my job isn't very well connected with public transport at all and so relying on public transport or taxis is simply not an option. I found a car, went to get an insurance quote, and found out that getting insurance is practically impossible when you've had insurance voided in the past. The points don't seem to be a problem, when I tell companies about my points but not about my insurance voided in the past they happily give me a quote. They're expensive, but affordable and it's what I was expecting. However, as soon as I tell them that my insurance was voided in the past they refuse to even give me a quote. I'm completely out of options and I don't know what to do. I need a car, but I can't get insurance as much as I try. I know I was in the wrong, but it seems like the voided insurance is more of a punishment than the points are and surely that isn't right? And the voided insurance will stay with me for the rest of my life, so does that mean that driving will never be an option for me? I'm sorry for the essay, I just really don't know what to do! If anyone's been in a similar situation with voided insurance or know of a company that would insure me then please let me know! Just anything that would help, let me know! Thank you so much in advance and sorry again for the babbling!""

Car Insurance?

anybody know what the Uk cheapest car insurance for somebody with 15 years no claims discount car engine size 2.8cc?

""If we are getting affordable heath insurance, why can't my employer afford it?""

If we are getting affordable heath insurance, why can't my employer afford it?""

How much is small business insurance?

Hi I am doing a project for school and I was wondering how much insurance is for a small business. It will be a temporary food vendor. I am looking at owner, liability, product liability, and auto insurance. I just need an estimate if you could help. Thanks!""

Can my insurance tell what the ticket was for?

So, I live in CA and i have AAA insurance. My daughter got a speeding ticket and i know it will raise my insurance. and i know they can tell that thre is a ticket on certain person's name but can they tell what the ticket was for???""

Any ideas on how to get cheaper car insurance?

Will my car insurance rate increase if my car is stolen and never recovered?

I also have GAP insurance.

How does insurance either supplied by an employer or by the government drive UP the price of health care?

Motorcycle Insurance?

I am currently trying to get a motorcycle license and I'm wondering if there's any insurance company that would insure me. I'm 18, in California and I don't have a drivers license yet. I have passed the written test for a drivers license but haven't been able to schedule a behind the wheel test yet because my family's lack of cars (mom/dad uses them to get to work until ~8). So while I'm waiting for that to happen then I'm might as well try to get a motorcycle permit because we have my dad's old (but not so old) one. But question is, is there an insurance company that would insure somebody like me? Price isn't too much of an issue because I have a job with no added financial duties so to say.""

Can small business owners & the self-employed get quality yet affordable health & dental insurance...?

if so, how?""

Auto Insurance average for me?

I've had my temps for about 8mos now, and I'm going Togo to driving school for my license. I'm 17 years old. How much do you think average coverage should be?""

What is the most affordable health insurance in NYC?

My friend doesn't have health insurance and is planning on putting his new baby (born around Oct.) on his policy with him. He's Latin American and has his permanent residence card, but is not yet a citizen. Anyone know of any affordable plans for him to look into in the Manhattan area?""

Are there any health insurance programs like healthy families?

I know healthy families are for children and teenagers but are there any other medical low cost program for kids in their early 20's. There is medical but what if they don't qualify for medi-cal, and if the parents don't make enough money and kids don't have any job because our economy is whacked. How we suppose to take kids to the doctor when they're sick? Please help, any helpful information would be greatly appreciated. God bless!""

How can i get cheap insurance?

I'am going to be 17 soon and i going to buy a car so i was wondering what car should i buy or what shoul i do to get cheap insurance, because at the moment it's cost about 3.500 and that just too expensive... help please""

If my son is on my parents insurance does that mean they claim him on his taxes?

Okay my son is now 1 year old. He is on my parents insurance, we live with them, and my parents pretty much support him.(pay for all expenses).. Now my sons father wants to put him on his taxes. I know he just wants to get money to get him a new car. he also says he will get me a car too. but idk about that. When i told him i think my parents already claimed him, he started yelling its his son, and told me to give him his security card(he has a really bad temper and gets angry to where i get scared) so i did.. but now i need to sign a paper..and i dont want too.. Here is my thing i told him that he is automatically on my parents taxes, because he is on there insurance, so that would mean i would have to take aiden off of their insurance(Which means he wouldnt be on any insurance)he started yelling how stupid i am and just to sign paper, my question is is it true that because my parents have him on their insurance, he is on their taxes. What should i do? Thanks for anyhelp. Sorry long question. Please no rude answers""

Cheap auto insurance for mid-california...?

i had a accident in december last year and a speeding ticket doing 90 in a 55 last year.. 2 different occasions. i am buying a 2002 jeep grand cherokee laredo and wheni went to geico they said my quote was like $406 a month.. thats crazy. progressive was $199 a month.. but it still seems outrageous... cant i find it cheaper than this? please help..... im 23 female who has had my license for 7 years since i was 16, never had it revoked or anything.. how do i get my rates to go down?""

For my car insurance I have full coverage. Have a $500 deductible to fix a broken window. Is that normal?

A rock hit my window while I was driving and i have a $500 deductible to fix it. I wanted to see was that really high or normal? I have full coverage. I just want to see how this insurance compares to others. $500 deductible just seemed a bit high. Thanks!

Question about car insurance. Will give 10 points. thank you!?

Well i have a basic hometown insurance, and they charge me 415bucks, im 16 years old and male. We own a Chevy Venture, 2000 toyota camry, and 1989 toyota camry, i don't own any, so how can i be still getting charged? I thought only the owner will get charged, i can drive under my dads insurance.? My dad owns the toyota camry, 89. Sister owns the 00 camry., dad owns van.""

Should I drop collision from my auto insurance this renewal?

I have a ten year old Honda Civic, just over 40,000 miles, has a crack in the driver's side rear bumper that I ignore. I have an excellent driving record, no points, am the only driver, am at that age where I'm not young enough or old enough to be considered a threat, but I live in a high rate state and money is more than tight and they just shot my house insurance through the roof, even though I never put in a claim, because, get this, there is a chance that someday we may have a hurricane! Am I being pennywise and pound foolish, or am I paying for something that won't pay off even if I need it? Thank you!""

How much do you think i'll be paying for car insurance?

I'm 16 from Massachusetts, and i'm going to be getting my license next month! I have saved enough money and i'm going to be buying a volkswagen beetle from the year 2000. how much do you think i'll be spending a month on car insurance? i took drivers ed so that could help.""

Good car insurance??

I will be 16 in a few months and am hoping to get a Mustang two doors. soo it might be a little higher insurance..Is there an insurance company thats better than another?

ninja quotes insurance

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/can-you-drive-learners-permit-without-insurance-anthony-lopez/"

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peggyfromtheblockk · 6 years

Text

Get to Know the Blogger

Hey! So, I’ve realized aside from a few comments here and there, I haven’t really talked on here at all! This sad thought made me realize it was time to share a lot of unnecessary stuff so maybe you can get a basic--detailed--idea of who I am. So here’s a bunch of word vomit and feel free to come talk to me, I promise I’m a lot nicer than a lot of my answers make me seem lol

Name: You can call me E.

Age: 20

Zodiac sign: Aries

Height: 5’7

Languages spoken: English but I do remember a few random words of Spanish

Nationality & Location: American and Michigan

Work: Currently working in the infant room at a daycare

Favorite fruit: Blueberries

Favorite scent: Lavender, vanilla, or apple

Favorite animal: I really love otters and llamas

Favorite fictional character: Dana Scully of course (though, I do have a soft spot for Stella Gibson)

Favorite candy: KitKat’s but currently I’ll devour almost any chocolate given to me

Favorite holiday: Christmas and Halloween. But probably Halloween more because I love the prep and the actual day, whereas I just really love the prep for Christmas

Favorite season: I really like autumn because my hometown and college towns are so beautiful but I love spring because I love everything coming back to life

Favorite Social Media? Twitter, but like, stan twitter

Favorite thing about where you live? I just love that I have some of my favorite people within literal minutes of me. It’s a really comforting feeling. And we have a fair every year which is gross but entertaining at the same time

Favorite swear word? Probably shit, but fuck and damn do escape quite often

What are you listening to: As of right now When I Kissed The Teacher from MM2

What Books Are You Reading? I have three books I haven’t finished and haven’t touched in like two months. We, Beaches, and Yes Please

What Time Do You Usually Go To Bed? Around 1 in the morning usually

What Makes You Happy? A lot of things, though I don’t always realize that. I’m usually an “It’s the little things” person too. BUT to answer, Gillian and msr never fail to make me happy

What Are You Craving Right Now? I could smash a plate of spaghetti right now

What Is Your Gender? Female (she/her pronouns)

What Is Your Sexuality? Bisexual but I’m definitely like 85% women, 15% men

What’s The Next Movie You Want To See In Theaters? MAMMA MIA 2 IM SO EXCITED

What Eye Colour Do You Find Sexiest? I’m a sucker for blue eyes

What Do You Wear To Bed? A tee and shorts usually but if I’m in The Mood I’ll wear just a tee (Yes, That Mood)

What Sounds Are Your Favourite? I love the sound of a campfire and babies laughing or babbling literally melts my heart

What’s the first thing you notice about people? Usually, their eyes but I’m drawn to those with a bright genuine smile

What’s something that makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside? Being With My People. They never fail to make me feel warm and fuzzy. Also when I get a cute little note from my favorite professor on an assignment because she is like the light of my life

What are your hobbies? When I’m not in school I like to read and I’m able to write some. During school, you can find me watching x files, sleeping, or enjoying movies or music

What’s your favorite book? I love anything by Laurie Halse Anderson and really anything in the YA genre

What inspires you? Gillian is really inspiring to me because of all the work she does to help others. Bette Midler too

What’s your favorite place in the whole world? well, ok. So, I love Mackinac Island because it’s so beautiful and peaceful (even with thousands of tourists covering the tiny location) but I also just love when I’m with my people. When I’m with one of My People wherever we are, that’s my favorite place because I’m really happy. Also, I really love my work because nothing exists outside those four walls except the babies I take care of

What do you typically have for breakfast? A big cup of coffee and the occasional bagel or bowl of cereal

What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? The first semester of my sophomore year I had this 60-70 page case study due for the end of the term for an education class. For at least a week I would stay up until about 5 am working on it, go to sleep, get up at 7:30 am and do it all over again. That’s been my most stressful and sleep deprived time of my life so far and just looking bad makes me shudder. At least I got a 99% on it

What makes you angry? A lot of things. Let’s not get into that.

What makes you nervous? Uh, everything. But thinking about the real part of my future (bills, working, adulting) really gets me going

Do you wear glasses: Yes and these specific frames fucking suck and my eyes keep getting worse (my doctor told me I’d need surgery before I turned 30, wtf thanks dude)

Do You Have Freckles? Yes and it used to bother me how many I have but thanks to fics that mention Scully’s, I’ve become fond of them

Do You Sing In The Shower? When my family or suitemates aren’t home, then yes I usually belt it all out but usually, I stick to humming

Do You Collect Anything? Postcards and shot glasses. And llama things now too apparently

Do You Prefer To Swim In A Pool Or The Ocean? Pool because it’s clean and I can see the bottom

Do You Study Better With Or Without Music? It depends on the subject or the task but I almost always need some type of constant sound

Do You Save Money Or Spend It? Save it usually but I also tend to spend it all on a big impulse purchase

Do You Have Any Obsessions Right Now? That’s why I’m here lmao

Do You Have Strange Dreams? Alright so I just started taking Zoloft and before it, my dreams would be weird but like unrealistic-weird, like having-a-bad-trip-weird. But since starting the med, my dreams have become realistically-weird, like sometimes I wake up and question if that all really happened

Do You Make Your Bed In The Morning? When I’m at school, yes, but when I’m home I usually just say fuck it because I’ll be back in it at least 8 more times

Do You Like To Read / Write? I love to read (fics, duh) but I do try my hand at writing but I struggle to finish anything and I’m terrified to post any of my work on here

Do You Have Any Homework Right Now? If So, What Is It About? YES and it’s just barely halfway into summer break and I’ve got a huge assignment due the first day back

Do You Get Homesick? Sometimes but I really do love my college life and wouldn’t change it

Do You Wear Jeans Or Sweats More? A mix but because of work, jeans most days

Do you use sarcasm a lot? Sarcasm is my middle name

Do you believe in miracles? Yeah I think so

Do you have any special talents? I don’t think so but I’m good at taking care of kids. Sometimes my supervisor calls me the baby whisperer lol

Do you have any pets? Three cats and a dog and some succulents

Do you have any siblings? A little (half) brother and then technically I have four other half-siblings but they don’t know I exist

Do you believe in the paranormal? Absolutely. A big secret of mine….I actually could, and sometimes still can interact with spirits...Just call me Mrs. Spooky

Do you play any instruments? Nope but somehow I have managed to have a guitar and a keyboard in my possession. I do sing though and was in choir for 7 years

Do you have any crushes? Do celebrities or fictional characters count? If no, then no

Do you have any bad and/or anxious habits? I just have panic attacks a lot lmao and I tend to get really bitchy and mean when I’m anxious which I feel bad about but I can’t stop it

Do you believe in anything enough to fight for it? My right to marry whoever I want and have kids with whoever I want and be in control of my body. There’s probably more but those have been on my mind today

Do you keep a journal? Yeah a few actually but I lose motivation after a little bit and it takes so much to start it over

Do you like your age? Yes and no. I’m an adult which is cool and all but like….most of my friends are old enough to drink and it really pisses me off that I’m 9 months short of legally doing that. I’m super responsible and mature for my age like what will 9 months do to change that? It’s just stupid that I can join the military and go thousands of dollars into debt but I can’t have a glass of wine with my mom at a block party. UGH. American laws S U C K

Do you like your own name? Yes, I love my name. When I was a kid I hated it, I didn’t get the sentiment of being named after someone. I finally got the sentiment around the time my grandma started getting sick. Now that she’s gone, I know just how blessed I am to carry on the legacy of my full name and try to make her proud.

Do you have any scars? Oh plenty, I’m really clumsy. My most notable is the one on my thumb from a freak childhood accident that nearly cut my entire thumb pad off. What a wild time

Do you have a strong accent? I’m from Michigan so apparently, I have a strong Midwestern accent but I don’t hear it. But anytime I’m on the phone/skyping with my friend from Missouri, she always points it out and laughs

Do you talk to yourself? Probably too much but also not in the way that I think is expected. I’m just constantly talking in my head like a constant tv interview about whatever the fuck I’m thinking about which 99% of the time is msr lol

Coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: All of the above

Beer or wine or neither: W I N E

When was your blog created: I knew this was the place to find the best gifs and fics and I wanted to be in the fandom more since I’m so new. Also, I wanted to try my hand at fic writing but I continue to lose the motivation or the courage to write/post

Last movie you’ve seen: Hotel Transylvania is pretty much on repeat in my house thanks to my little brother, so most likely it’s that

First job: My first job was customer service/field hand on a blueberry patch but my first legit legal job is/was at a daycare

Pet peeve: The first I can think of is slow walkers because I walk so fast because my legs are like a mile long

The color of your eyes: Green but they used to be giant sky-blue saucers

Night owl/day person: I don’t like getting up before 9 but past midnight I’m a grouch

Tattoos: None yet, but I have two planned, it’s just a matter of money and timing

Like to cook: Not really but I can cook enough to survive which is typical for college

Grab The Book Nearest To You, Turn To Page 20 Give the last two lines: “Action: Today I will be kind to myself. Affirmation: This is who I am, and I feel glad to be me” - We

Last Person You Cried In Front Of? I cried while holding a baby at work because my shift is changing so things will be different and also my hormones are really out of whack right now

If You Were A Crayon What Colour Would You Be? Any shade of purple

Name One Movie That Made You Cry: Beaches is my go-to crying movie, same goes for Steel Magnolias (what a typical answer, I know)

If I Handed You A Concert Ticket Right Now, Who Would You Want The Performer To Be? Cher, Reba, DD, Bette Midler or Straight No Chaser. Reba especially though because she’s going to be near me soon but it's a 21+ event and I’m nine months short of that so I’m really pissed I can’t go

Would You Rather Carve Pumpkins Or Wrap Presents? Carve pumpkins but I do a damn good job wrapping too

Did You Like Swinging As A Child? Do You Still Get Excited When You See A Swing Set? I loved it even though it made me sick. There’s a park down the street from my campus so if I’m really upset, I’ll go down there and blast my headphones and swing until I forget what’s happening. It’s really therapeutic

Name Something That Relaxes You: I have some relaxing instrumental playlists and I’ll put one of them on, turn on my lavender oil diffuser, and hop in a nice hot shower (and the hot water at college doesn’t run out so I can pretty much be in there for like ever really) or I’ll watch a fav movie that tends to soothe me

Scary movie or happy endings? Happy endings give me life. The fluffier the better

When was the last time you cried? I’m sure I’ve cried today and just don’t remember. There’s literally not a day that goes by that I don’t shed tears but I literally cry so easy (This video or this video will make me cry almost instantly)

Where would you like to visit? I’ve wanted to visit Barcelona and California since I was a kid but in the past 4 years I’ve really wanted to visit New York and Greece

Describe your favorite people in the whole world? I’ll just sum all five of them up with they literally make me feel so warm, happy, and validated. I love them so much I could cry just thinking about them. And don’t get me started with Gillian because I do often cry when I think about her I just really love her a lot ok

Who would be your ideal partner? Gillian Anderson, Dana Scully, or Fox Mulder of course. No, but I want someone who’s like me morals/humor wise

Most used phrase? Right now I’m really into saying “Yikes” but “god fucking dammit” leaves my mouth A LOT

Most used word? Probably “like” as much as I hate to admit it

Extrovert or Introvert? Introvert 100% except when I’m with My People of course because I feel comfortable with them

Who was your first real crush? I had plenty of crushes during early school years but I think my first real one was on a school employee. Wowza I was head over heels for her and the very obvious knew-it-was-coming heartbreak hurt a lot

How many piercings do you have? Just my first holes in my ears but I’ve been thinking about getting my Helix pierced (upper portion of the ear)

How do you deal with stress? Uhhhh I panic first lol. I tend to listen to music—very specific songs that I know will drown out the anxiety/stress, or sometimes I’ll write what I’m feeling, go for a walk, read an absolute favorite fic in my list, watch x files, or I’ll just scroll through my thousands of pictures of GA lol

How many pillows do you sleep with? Three, sometimes four and then I have four accent pillows when I make my bed. Too many, as I’ve been told by everyone

Have you ever been to the hospital? Been to? Yes, plenty of times. Been in/admitted? No, thankfully

Have you ever met any celebrities? In 2016 I went to a rally for Hillary that Cher was speaking at so like…I was in the same room as her. AND THEN my friend shoved me up to her path as she was leaving and she touched my hand and I literally nearly passed out

Have you ever been in a position of authority? I am always deemed the mom friend so I’ll let you figure out that answer...

Have you ever drank underage? Yeah but nothing crazy. I just really like my wine. The craziest I’ve ever gotten was after I turned in that case study, I chugged half a bottle of wine (on an empty stomach), got bad heartburn, and then went to bed for like 14 hours

Are You Easily Influenced By Other People? Depends on the person, but I’d have to say no unless it’s Gillian/Scully/Stella

Are You A Picky Eater? I say yes, but compared to my brother and my uncle, no

Are You A Heavy Sleeper? Usually yes

Are Both Of Your Blood Parents Still In Your Life? Just my momma, but I do see my *gag* father around my hometown every now and again

Are you religious? Not really. I used to go to church a few years back, and then went to another church which ruined a lot of stuff for me and then I went through some tough stuff that made me question, idk

Are you a good liar? I like to think so (I say that as if lying is something I should be proud of), at least to everyone but my mom because I swear I can pull off the best lie ever and she always sees right through me

Are you a clean or messy person? My home life is messy. My room is trashed but the things that are put away are organized. But life at college is completely opposite, my dorm is very clean and organized and I clean it top to bottom every weekend

If you made it this far, thank you for putting up with my crazy long first post, and I’m sorry that I practically vomited my thoughts into a jumbled mess but I wanted to share myself with you!

#Get to know the blogger #personal #first post #entirely too detailed but oh well #come talk to me #get to know me #msr #GA

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