#like it felt clear to be the ending since the final concert was the “seven minute miracle” which was | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

taexual · 4 years

Text

i’d love you to stay but that’s simply insane // JJK (21)

jungkook is an uncontrollable lead vocalist of the campus band, and you’re a goal-oriented top student that’s known his rich and complicated family since childhood. you don’t want anything to do with each other, until each other is exactly what you want to do.

pairing: jeon jungkook x reader

genre: college au

warnings: angst but it’s for a good cause

words: 7.7k

chapter twenty-one

The next week was, as expected, full of frustrating epiphanies each time you checked your phone and realized you had no business waiting for anyone’s call or text. Not to mention, Inna’s hopeful eyes followed you whenever you were in the same room as her; she was eagerly awaiting the moment you and Jungkook would make up.

You hadn’t heard a word from him since the last party and his family hadn’t reached out to you, either. You couldn’t help but wonder how the dinner on Sunday had gone, and what excuse Jungkook used to explain your absence – he’d have to come up with a good one because you didn’t think the chances of you two talking again were very high.

In fact, you thought they were non-existent. He’d walked away from you for the second time in just one lifetime – you didn’t think it was supposed to be you who had to take the initiative and get to the bottom of things. And Jungkook would, most likely, have too much pride to offer an explanation.

So, no, you didn’t think you’d hear from him again soon. Not in the next seven years, at least.

However, life had a funny way of throwing your expectations out of the window – as you came to learn as soon as you left your final class the next Wednesday afternoon, five days after you’d last seen Jungkook, and spotted his mother looking at you expectantly from the end of the hall.

She waved at you as soon as you caught her eye and, walking over to her, you weren’t sure what to expect – her face was the perfect mask of polite indifference, so you couldn’t guess if she was here because something terrible had happened to Jungkook, or because she was getting remarried and wanted you to be her bridesmaid.

“You look lovely, dear,” was the first thing she told you when you approached her. That was enough for you to understand that she wasn’t going to be entirely honest today – she never was – because she was here in a designer two-piece, while you were wearing a—stained from an unsuccessful attempt at lunch—gray hoodie and your favorite sweatpants. “Do you have a moment to spare?”

“Sure,” you nodded after giving her a mandatory hug hello. “Would you like to get coffee? There’s a café across the quad.”

“Oh, of course,” she nodded, allowing you to exit the building first. “I’d love that.”

The two of you crossed the campus quadrangle towards the café next to the library and neither of you said a word. You’d hoped Jungkook’s mother would offer an explanation why she was here instead of making you ask her outright – that felt impolite – but that seemed less and less likely with each silent step that you took.

“You can choose a table, I’ll go place the order,” you said once you’d reached the café, “what would you like?”

“Just black coffee, no sugar, please,” she replied and then looked around the place, smiling pleasantly at every weary-eyed student that turned to look when they saw this lady with a very expensive aura come inside. “I think it’d be nice to sit by the window, hmm?”

You gave her a nod of approval and went over to order, choosing to wait by the coffee machine so you could brace yourself for what was coming when you’d join her at your table later.

Once you finally sat down opposite Jungkook’s mother, your caramel macchiato had turned from pale orange to plain white from how much your hands were shaking. His mother thanked you and, leaning forward to purposelessly stir her coffee with a spoon, she cleared her throat.

“Something happened,” she said simply. “Am I wrong?”

You didn’t want to misunderstand her. “What do you mean?”

“Between you and Jungkook,” she clarified. “He said you were busy when he was over for dinner but I could tell that wasn’t it. He looked different.”

You looked away from her to think. You were glad that Jungkook hadn’t missed the dinner even despite you not being there with him. That was a mature decision, you were almost proud of him for it.

“I… I don’t really know what to tell you, to be honest,” you said, watching your coffee and wondering why you even bought it. You didn’t feel like drinking anything. “We got into an argument after his concert last weekend, and we hadn’t talked since.”

She nodded knowingly, without the slightest change in her expression. As if this was a normal thing that she’d expected to happen sooner or later anyway. And, because she was prepared for it, she also knew just how to proceed.

“I’m not supposed to pick sides because, I suppose, I would be biased,” she started to say, giving you a warm smile as she clutched her cup in both hands, “but I have a feeling that you weren’t the one that started the argument. Am I right?”

Inhaling deeply as you shrugged your shoulders, you replied with, “actually, that’s hard to say,” and then you took a long gulp of your coffee, ignoring the burning of your throat as the hot – and unwanted – liquid struggled to make its way down.

Jungkook’s mother watched you drink in silence. She knew you were doing it only because you weren’t comfortable admitting to her that her son had never learned how to handle conflict – and who else was there to blame for that, if not his parents?

Sighing, she finally confessed, “I told myself I wouldn’t mention this to either of you because, well, it’s really none of my business, but I was backstage before Jungkook’s last concert.”

You turned to her. Noticing the confusion in your eyes, she explained, “his father and I came back to the venue early and I had to use the restroom. One of his bandmates showed me where to find the nearest one and, as I was on my way, I saw the two of you.”

Thinking what moment in particular she could have seen, you unconsciously squeezed the porcelain cup in your hands so tightly, the china almost started to crack under your fingertips. Even worse, as soon as you realized what she was getting at, you let go of the cup so quickly, it nearly tumbled off the table, splashing the contents around.

“Oh,” you said, more alarmed by the fact that his mother had seen you force him into a cold shower, than by the fact that your sweatpants were now stained with the caramel from your drink. “I was just—”

“You kicked some sense into him,” she finished for you, nonchalantly handing you a napkin, “in a way that I’d never seen anyone do before. And,” she chuckled in a good-natured way that did not conceal the admiration in her voice, “I’m his mother.”

“That’s…” you stopped yourself, choosing to wait until the warmth on your face receded and you felt less flustered. “You don’t give yourself enough credit,” you said, still not looking at her as you wiped the table, “kids aren’t easy to raise and Jungkook was a-a... a different sort of challenge. You did your best and he loves you for it.”

She was the one who was forced to look away from you this time.

“I thought I was doing my best,” she said. “I… I know it can be hard to understand, but I’d always had his best interest at heart. His and yours. You two were like two pieces of the same set when you were young.”

She smiled despite herself, but when you dared to lift your eyes to meet hers, there was a tear glistening on her face, slowly descending down her cheek. You didn’t know if it was caused by the memory or by something else that she hadn’t said yet.

“It’s…” she tried but couldn’t find the words, “I feel—ah. I don’t know how to tell you this without making you hate me. It’s my fault that you and Jungkook were apart from each other for so long.”

She struggled to keep talking and you struggled to find a way to tell her that you already knew that.

Admittedly, it wouldn’t have been hard to reach out a hand and touch her shoulder, tell her that Jungkook had already told you about this. But, by doing so, you’d have to admit that everything was fine. That you didn’t hold a grudge. That you’d moved on.

And part of it was true – you didn’t hold a grudge. But it wasn’t fine. And you hadn’t moved on.

So, you stayed quiet, letting her continue.

“I thought it was for the best,” she said, “you two, being apart, I mean. I thought it could save you both from the damage your close relationship could do to your futures. But,” shaking her head to herself, she scoffed, “that wasn’t what happened at all, was it?”

“Hmm,” you shook your head slightly, “no, it wasn’t. There was always this gap—t-this empty space in my life. It was kind of like losing a tooth. You can get it replaced, get an implant, but it’s not the same. Even if the hole isn’t there anymore, you’re still missing a tooth.”

Another tear cascaded down her face as she listened to you, only daring to nod her head when you glanced at her – which was once, right before you finished speaking.

She noticed how you didn’t question her or asked her to elaborate; you understood what she was saying.

And she understood that you had already known about this.

“You blossomed,” she said, smiling even though there were tears in her eyes, “but Jungkook never recovered. He needed you. Probably more than you needed him.”

“No. That can’t be,” you disagreed instantly. “I—I need him, too.”

Noticing the present tense, Jungkook’s mother smiled. “Then don’t be apart from each other anymore. You’re not meant to be.”

That was simple. So simple, that it got you to smile in this ironically sad way. But because this could have been one of the last times you’d ever see her – since your future with Jungkook, despite how much you said you needed him, was very unclear – you chose not to mention it.

Instead, you figured now was as good of a time as any to come clean about the real status of your relationship with her son.

“You know…” you started, “when we first came to your house, we weren’t—we weren’t really together. We were just—”

“I know,” she said and, just when you were about to continue, she finished, “that you think so.”

“I—sorry?”

“You think you came for dinner, pretending to be dating so it would leave a good impression on his father,” she explained.

It felt ridiculous to hear her say it when she wasn’t supposed to know about it. Apparently, both of you knew a lot more than you let on.

“T-that’s… yeah. That’s what we did.”

She shook her head. “No, it isn’t. Not really. You came for dinner together.”

“Well, yes, but—”

“Sweetheart, no,” she took your hand into hers. “You’d been together from the moment you first talked to each other after all those years. And, every day following that, you were more and more together.”

Feeling the warmth from her hands wash off to yours, you asked in a hushed tone, “why do you say that?”

“Because I’d watched you grow up,” she said, a smile on her otherwise clouded face. “I know you love each other in a different way than most people. You don’t have to go on dates and get to know each other before you get attached and form a connection. You don’t have to spend months with each other to fall in love. It’s already happened. Maybe it happened even before you were born. Maybe it was written in the stars, so to speak.”

She laughed as she said that last part and—because you’d been watching her with such intensity, you didn’t blink once—you felt yourself smile in response.

Then, you asked, “do you really believe that?”

“Ah,” she leaned back in her chair, exhaling. She did seem like the sort of person who believed in the happily-ever-after and she didn’t mind this image. But, because this was nor the place, nor the time for acting, she chose to be honest with you and admitted, “normally, no. But with you two? Yes. Absolutely.”

And that meant a lot more than anything else she’d ever told you when she was busy trying to maintain the look of an untroubled, completely satisfied member of a rich family.

She was human now. And she was rooting for you – she’d always been, even if she didn’t always choose the best ways to express that.

“Do you know what he did during our last dinner?” his mother asked after a moment.

Thinking she was about to tell you that Jungkook knocked his father out, you were afraid for her to continue.

“He renounced his position as the heir to the company,” she said and you saw her tears stop, a smile spreading on her lips instead – like she was proud of him. “I’ve never seen him so determined before. I don’t think his father has, either. I… I think he’s been expecting it, though. Jungkook never expressed much interest in the family business, not unless it meant pleasing his father.”

You were shocked she’d noticed Jungkook’s eagerness to be a good son to his father, but perhaps you shouldn’t have been – she was his mother. She knew him best.

Funnily enough, she thought the exact same thing about you.

“He wants to talk to you,” she said after a while, her hand still holding yours as steam ceased to rise from your cups, the drinks inside of them gradually growing colder.

“Did he tell you that?” you asked, surprised.

“No, but that’s obvious. He’s been antsy throughout our dinner on Sunday,” she spoke, “almost like that gap you’d mentioned before was especially prominent when he was supposed to be with his family, but one member just wasn’t there.”

You felt a quick spark of honor in your chest – they still considered you to be a part of their family – but you lowered your eyes, hoping to hide it.

“What bothers me the most,” you admitted slowly, “is that his method of solving arguments is so unconventional, I can never guess what he’s going to do.”

“What do you want him to do?”

“I want him to—I…” you couldn’t finish.

You didn’t want much, you just wanted to be able to admit to yourself that every time you’d been angry at him since last Friday night, was all pretend. All because you were supposed to be angry. But, the truth was, you weren’t; you were just hurt. And what you wanted most of all was to see him.

“I want to talk to him,” you said. “Because if he’s thinking of spending another seven years not talking to me, then he better give me a direct warning, so that I can tell him I won’t do this again. I won’t go through—if he doesn’t want to be with me, I’m not going to wait for almost a decade for him to change his mind.”

“That was never the case,” his mother said. “He always wanted to be with you even when he wasn’t supposed to.”

“See, but he keeps making these decisions,” you said, “these wrong decisions. He seems like he’s learned to tell right from wrong in all of these years, and yet he still—”

“He’s trying, though, isn’t he?” she interrupted you. “He fails a lot, but he always gets back up and tries again. I love him with all of my heart, but I hated to see some of the situations he’s gotten himself into over the years. He’d had to make a lot of choices for his future and he made a lot of wrong ones. I used to think that, maybe, the only right decision he’d made, was choosing to give you some space to grow seven years ago—”

“No,” you stated immediately, your voice firm and unwavering for the first time today. “The only right decision he made was talking to me again after seven years.”

His mother’s eyes watched the expression on your face change from hopeless defeat to assured confidence, and she finally let go of your hand, but not before you saw the hairs on her skin stand up as she shivered.

“You’re right,” she spoke, her voice in awe over how quickly you defended Jungkook even though, at the end of the day, you and her both knew you needed that space. You needed some time away from him.

She had come here with the intention of getting you to give her son another chance – because, God knew, Jungkook was taking his sweet time asking for it himself – but she could see now that her visit was largely pointless.

She didn’t need to ask you to fight for your relationship with Jungkook – you’d been fighting for it from day one.

“Talk to him, okay?” she asked, even though she knew this wasn’t going to be the end of your story. It couldn’t be. “As his mother, I even give you the permission to kick his ass if he won’t reach out to you first.”

You snickered at this and then looked at her as you spoke, “I’ve really missed having conversations like these with you. Not about Jungkook—I meant, over coffee, when it’s just us two.”

“I’ve missed that, too,” she replied, responding to your warm words by allowing an uncharacteristically big smile to appear on her face, “but we’ll have plenty of those in the future,” she added, “because we just got you back and we’re not letting you go.”

The next day, you were almost afraid to run into Jungkook because a conversation with him seemed inevitable, and you didn’t think you were ready for it.

The universe – that is, your class schedule – cared little whether you were prepared or not, however.

As soon as you were done with your last class of the day, you cautiously turned your head to Jungkook’s usual spot—across the auditorium from you—and found him already watching you.

The two of you eyed each other in an almost formal way – the way you would look at your professor as you approached her to inquire about a paper that was due – and then you both got up, packed your things, and, exchanging a yet another meaningful look, you both headed for the exit of the building, every single movement of your bodies completely in sync even though you hadn’t spoken a word to each other.

There was a mute agreement between you and him: you haven’t seen each other since the party last week, but now that you have, you simply had to talk again. Those were the rules for people like you – people who’d spent nearly a decade avoiding all conversation with each other, and had promised they would never go through that again.

You figured the first thing you’d say to each other after last week would be “sorry” but, as it turned out, your first words were your coffee orders as the two of you had automatically left the building to head to the campus café.

“I know my mom came to see you,” Jungkook broke the uncomfortable silence when you found an empty table at the back of the café. “Sorry if… she made you uncomfortable. I didn’t ask her to come, I swear.”

He didn’t start to speak because he had a lot to say. He started because, even though you came here with him naturally, without a single word, he knew you hadn’t come here just for a cup of coffee. You’d come to hear his explanation, his excuse, and, eventually and most importantly, his apology.

“I know,” you said even though you didn’t. It made sense for Jungkook not to ask for anyone’s help, though. “It’s okay.”

“But I’m glad she came,” he revealed, “because now I have an excuse to tell you that I, uh… I fucked up.”

Resisting a relieved sigh – because you’d been worried that resolving this argument would require the sort of maturity that neither of you had, but Jungkook was surprisingly determined to solve it the same way you solved all of your fights: by turning half of it into a joke – you sat opposite him and shrugged.

“Not the first time,” you said.

Scoffing, Jungkook agreed, “yeah. Definitely not. But I, uh… you haven’t done anything wrong. I was pissed at—I was pissed off and I let my frustrations out on you. And that’s not fair.”

You nodded, agreeing with the way he’d interpreted your last conversation.

“Well,” you said then, “that’s probably not the first time, either.”

He raised an eyebrow at your comment, a flash of concern appearing in his eyes before he clicked his tongue and said under his breath, “alright, open and honest. That’s good. I deserve that.”

You didn’t reply this time. You didn’t encourage him to keep going, either, but he took your silence as a sign that he’d obviously not said enough to make up for his words that night.

“I was wrong,” Jungkook said and paused. He couldn’t believe he’d spent every night the past week, trying to think of a way to say this to you, when it was literally all so simple. “I asked you to leave because I genuinely believed you’d be better without me, but I—I’ve never felt more afraid than when I saw you turn around and walk away. I thought it’d be for the best, but the thought of never seeing you again was terrifying. That sounds selfish now that I’ve said it, but I’m not saying it because I’m scared to lose you, even though I am. I’m saying this because I’m sorry.”

You’d forgotten how to blink as you watched him, and you thought you’d misheard him when he apologized. That was something that was understandable – a person did something they regretted, and they apologized for it – but Jungkook was never one who behaved in conventional ways.

And yet, he continued, “I’ve been caged my whole life, always blamed for the things I did that did not fit the person that I was supposed to be.”

Contrary to the conversation with Jungkook’s mother that you’ve had in this exact same spot, now you couldn’t seem to tear your eyes off of him as he spoke. Jungkook, meanwhile, scratched his temple with a nervous finger and proceeded to count the wooden tiles on the floor.

“But you’re not like them,” he was saying, not specifying who ‘they’ were because he didn’t have to, “no one’s ever given me the sort of freedom that you did. You’re the only one that allowed me to think about what I wanted. You’re the one who told me to act on it. As long as I didn’t self-destruct along the way, of course.”

He tried to lighten the mood, smiling as he said that last part, but your face remained stoic and, for a moment, Jungkook worried you hadn’t heard him. Or, worse – you had heard him, but he wasn’t saying the right things.

In all truth, that was precisely the case – you thought he was giving you too much credit. He’d blamed you for taking control of his life that night at the bar, and now he was thanking you for it.

You didn’t think you deserved the blame or the gratitude: you never wanted him to do whatever you commanded him to do. You just wanted him to stop making decisions that would lead him to an early grave.

“You…” he continued, more tentative now, “you’ve put up with me for so long and I was overwhelmed by the fact that there’s no one like you in my life. So, I guess, for a moment, you didn’t feel real to me, either, because how could you be? A-and so, I ended up blaming you for the things that I should have never blamed you for.”

You nodded, acknowledging it all, even the sleepless nights that he hadn’t told you about – he didn’t have to; the dark circles under his eyes said more than enough. You’d recognized them with ease because you’d seen them in your own mirror every morning this week.

And then you spoke, returning to the one point of your last argument that he hadn’t brought up.

The one point that may have angered you more than anything else he’d said that night.

“I didn’t agree to help you with your parents because of the company,” you said.

“I know,” he said.

Jungkook seemed to remember almost every part of that night – although, blissfully, he’d forgotten what he’d done after you’d left; there were bruises on his knuckles and his face to show for it, though – and you couldn’t decide if that was better or worse.

If he didn’t remember what happened, that could have been a sign that he was wasted out of his mind and that was why he’d said what he’d said. But that was a very poor excuse, considering that a drunken tongue often voiced out sober thoughts.

At least now you didn’t have to remind him of his own words – that would have made this conversation far less calm. But, at the same time, the fact that he could remember arguing with you, meant that he was sober enough to get himself in control back there. But he hadn’t. Instead, he’d allowed his instincts to take the wheel: he’d won against the alcohol, but lost against his own impulses.

Taking a deep breath, you thought now was your only chance to explain your reasons for being with him because you weren’t sure how this coffee date was going to play out just yet. And if this was the last time you’d see him, he deserved to know the whole truth.

“I agreed to help you,” you said, “because you asked me to.”

Nodding before you properly finished, he said, “I know—”

“But also,” you cut him off, your voice growing louder and then falling into an almost hushed tone as you said, “because I couldn’t say no to you. Not when you were desperate to get me to say yes. I—I had been in love with you for a lot longer than—than either of us realized, probably. And, maybe, I’d also wanted to know what it’d be like to be with you.”

Admitting that you wanted to play a relationship with him felt childish, and you couldn’t lift your eyes to meet his. But, even so, it also felt relieving.

You’d said it.

You’d admitted it to yourself and to him. You’d chosen to strip down to your vulnerability, and that was difficult and bold, but it also freed you from being the only person in the world who knew this.

“And,” Jungkook exhaled shakily, “what was it like?”

You felt your lips curl into a hesitant half-smile. “Not too terrible, surprisingly.”

He laughed with his whole chest and you found yourself leaning back a little, so you could take in the sight in front of you.

A beat passed as Jungkook recovered, a small smile still on his face. Then, you dared to speak again.

“I’m sorry I always tried to take care of you,” you spoke, each word calculated. You had already thought about telling him this, so you knew you chose your words right; you just weren’t sure what sort of reception awaited you.

Jungkook gave you a long look, his eyes accepting your apology while, simultaneously, trying to tell you that it wasn’t necessary.

“I’m sorry I always asked you to,” he countered, “and then demanded that you don’t.”

You smiled. “I’m sorry I’m starting to think you need to see a therapist.”

“Yeah,” he snickered, nodding, “don’t be sorry about that one. I…” he lowered his eyes before saying, “I’m sorry I accused you of controlling me when I’m the one who never lets you make your own decisions.”

Your eyebrows did a little dance, rising in surprise at first – because he’d said something you weren’t expecting – and then lowering into a frown – after you’d digested his words and came to the conclusion that you didn’t like the way they tasted.

“No, that’s—I can stand up for myself if I have to,” you said, defending both, yourself, and him, too.

“You can,” he didn’t disagree, sighing, “really well, too. No matter how much I try to stand in your way,” he paused for a minute. Then, he said, “I can’t. Stand up for myself, I mean. I think I can, but unless I’m hitting someone in the face, I—but I’m trying. Only, I’m not doing a very good job at it, clearly.”

He stopped talking even though he’d inhaled as if he had something else left to say. You watched him, waiting and slowly realizing that he had either forgotten what he was about to say, or he thought there was no point to say it.

Neither was the case. He just needed some time to gather the words.

When he spoke again, his voice was quieter, “I need you. A lot. And I’m sorry about that, too. I’m sorry I rely on you so much.”

You looked away, shaking your head, “you don’t.”

“No, I do,” he disagreed. “I always go back to you. I need you in my life and then I push you away, I’m—”

“That’s what I mean,” you cut him off, your voice more frantic than before. “You don’t rely on me. You want to, but you’re holding yourself back. I’m here for you. I was always here for you.”

The sound of his rapid heartbeat deafened him for a moment and he wasn’t sure if he really spoke, or if he just thought about it, as he tried to ask, “even though I don’t deserve it?”

“You—well, sometimes, you really don’t,” you admitted, not sugarcoating it because the expression on his face needed you to be truthful. “But, at the same time, I couldn’t think of any other person who would need someone to rely on more than you do.”

Now the beating of his heart wasn’t just deafening – it was painful, too, each beat like a sharp stab that did not merely scratch the surface of every organ inside of him, but seemed to suck all oxygen out of his lungs, too.

“I don’t deserve you,” he said, “and I know it would be better for me to leave. But I—well, I can’t. I… I think that maybe—uh, maybe I picked that fight with you at the bar just so you’d walk away from me.”

His hypothetical reasoning hurt almost as much as actually walking away from him did.

“What makes you think I can walk away from you?” you asked, sounding brave but only because you hid your face behind your coffee cup as you took a sip.

“You know you can,” he replied.

Lowering the cup, you phrased yourself differently, “what makes you think I would want to?”

His blood pulsed with a desperate need to hear you say that again – a dozen more times, at least – but Jungkook tried, for once, to remain rational.

He’d gone too far that night at the bar, but it gave him the opportunity to get the closure you didn’t get when you talked to him that night in your bedroom, moving past the Seven Year Silence as if it didn’t matter anymore. As if you didn’t need to talk about that ever again, even though the lost years lingered behind you like a forgotten tail that you kept tripping over each time you took your relationship a step further.

“I’m bad,” Jungkook spoke. “I’m bad for you.”

He’d said it – and that was it. He’d stepped on the tail. Purposefully this time, with scissors in hand. Only he didn’t yet know what he’d end up cutting – the past that he couldn’t seem to move on from, or himself, out of your life.

“You’re—you’re annoying as shit. Impossible sometimes, even,” you said, remembering how irritated he’d made you feel at times. And how little it mattered, at the end of the day. “But you’re not bad for me. You’re not bad, period.”

Jungkook exhaled and opened his mouth as if he wanted to argue with you further, but didn’t know how.

In the end, he didn’t think he deserved you because he thought he was too far gone, but, as you watched him, you knew that that was exactly the reason why he did deserve you. Because he only saw his flaws – always only flaws – and he refused to consider how much more of him there was.

“I never meant to hurt you. Ever,” he said, “not even when I said those stupid things—it’s all because I’m—fuck, it all just sounds like an excuse, doesn’t it? An excuse to make me feel better about staying with you despite being bad for—”

“It might sound like an excuse,” you interrupted gently, “but it’s the one part that isn’t. You’re not bad if you didn’t mean to be. You’re not bad if you’re trying to be better.”

He thought it over for a minute and then, looking up from his abandoned cup of coffee, he gave you one final excuse, “I love you. Too much, probably.”

Inhaling sharply because the confession took you off-guard, you replied with a slight tremble in your voice, “I—I love you, too. You know I do. But I don’t want that to be something that… something that you take for granted.”

That had never been his intention – which was why his stomach clenched uncomfortably after you said this – but he knew he’d been doing exactly that: treating you like you were a constant in his life. As if he’d never lost you before. As if he couldn’t lose you again.

“I know,” he said, “I didn’t mean to. We’ve already been—”

Reading his mind, you cut in, “thank you for not waiting for seven years to apologize this time.”

Jungkook had to give you a good look before he allowed himself to react. When he saw the small grin on your lips right before you took another sip of your coffee, he laughed.

“No, I’ve learnt that lesson,” he said, “I promise.”

“Just that one, then?” you bit, not cruelly.

Jungkook lowered his eyes, taking the blow in silence.

Putting your cup of coffee down, you exhaled and kindly reminded him, “you know, you, uh—you’d promised me you would think before you acted.”

“I promised to try,” he corrected, careful. “And I’m trying, really. I’ve kept my other promises to you, haven’t I? I never lied to you.”

You nodded, “sure.”

“I’m getting myself together like my father wanted,” he stated and, looking out the window of the café, he added, “but I’m not doing it for the company.”

Surprised and, consequently, alarmed, you almost didn’t want to ask him what he meant. You were afraid there was a reason – a person – that he was trying to grow up for. You were afraid he might say he was doing this for you.

Because that would mean that his determination was temporary. He’d try to behave, try to mature, try to grow but only as long as he got a reward for it. Never because that was his own goal.

“No?” you questioned lamely, your voice almost a squeal.

“No,” Jungkook confirmed, “I’m doing it so I wouldn’t lose my teeth before I’m fifty.”

Startled at first when you recognized your own words, you felt your face break into a surprised smile. Jungkook was glad you remembered.

“I’m doing it for myself,” he said then, “so I could be with you.”

You did not say anything else – but not because you had nothing left to say. In fact, it was the opposite – you had too much to say and you couldn’t choose where to start.

“I want to…” Jungkook broke the momentary silence between you but he too struggled to find the right way to begin his next sentence. Clearing his throat and straightening his posture, he tried differently, “I want you with me through everything, but only if that’s what you want, too. If it’s not, then—”

Cutting him off with an aggressive clear of your throat – you didn’t mean to, but he was spitting out his words so quickly, you couldn’t find the right moment to interrupt him – you slid to the edge of your seat and shook your head.

“I want to be with you,” you said and then added in a matter-of-fact way, “I’ve always wanted that. But I need you to talk to me. I need you to tell me what you need—do you need me to be with you quietly, or do you need me to say something? Do you need me to stay or do you need me to leave you alone? Do you—”

“Stay,” he said without hesitation. “I always need you to stay.”

Leave, his voice echoed in your mind, the night at the bar still painfully fresh in your memory.

“I need you to tell me that,” you said, feeling a lump in your throat, “when you feel like you’re not thinking clearly. When you want to do something so you’d get rid of all that you’ve bottled up inside. I need you to talk to me.”

“I—”

“Don’t say you will if you don’t mean it,” you warned, noticing the determined look on his face. “I don’t want for us to keep going back and forth, because I don’t like it when you tell me to leave, only to say the exact opposite later.”

Wincing, Jungkook was forced to remember how the night ended yet again. Not wanting it to turn into another tail that you never addressed, even though it obviously strained your relationship, he cleared his throat before explaining.

“I… I just don’t want you to feel like you’re wasting your time on me,” he said, “I—I know I keep saying I’ll try to get myself together and learn how to—well, be an adult, but no one knows how long that’ll take me to learn, least of all me.”

Jungkook expected you to hesitate but your response was immediate.

“I never asked you to promise me something that you didn’t believe in. And I know that our future isn’t clear,” you said with a sympathetic nod because he didn’t give you an excuse right now. He gave you an explanation. “I’ve always known that. And I’ve stayed so far, haven’t I? So… how about you don’t worry about how long it’ll take for you to grow up? Worry about the end result instead. Worry about making sure that, at the end of the day, neither of us is wasting our time, pretending to be bigger and better than we actually are. Worry about us becoming as big and as good as we’re pretending to be. However long that takes.”

“I feel like the only way to really make sure we’re not wasting our time,” he confessed, “would be for me to leave.”

Groaning in defeat, you said, “you’re an idiot.”

“Yeah?” Jungkook needed a moment to understand why, but he got distracted by your exaggerated groan, so he just went with it, “yeah, I probably am.”

“You tell me that walking away is the right choice one more time,” you threatened, “I swear, I will punch you. And then you’ll really need stitches.”

He’d forgotten about his wounded eyebrow and the band-aid that he’d clumsily glued on it yesterday – after he accidentally ripped the wound open and didn’t want the blood to get in his eye.

Smiling now, he asked, “I thought violence wasn’t the answer?”

“You’re too thick to hear me otherwise.”

Jungkook laughed. You realized that, despite knowing him for twenty-three years now, you haven’t seen him laugh nearly enough times to get used to the sight.

“I need you, too. Okay?” you found yourself saying, hopeful that he’d really hear you this time. “A lot. And, believe me, I make it complicated for myself enough without your help—I overthink, I get scared, I hesitate, I waste my own time. But, see, I think it’s worth it. I think we’re worth it.”

He nodded, taking mental notes to ease his uncertainty about this. He had to know that being with you really wasn’t selfish on his part.

But even with your glittering eyes on him, he still needed more reassurance.

“What do you need me to do?” he asked. “I know you said I need to talk to you, I-I get that. Okay. But what do you need me to do so you wouldn’t look back at this, and think of every minute you’ve spent with me as a minute wasted?”

You didn’t have to think long about your answer.

“I need you to give yourself a break,” you told him. “You’re not something I have to “put up with”. You’re not bad for me. I need you to understand that I genuinely love you and it hurts me when you refuse to see it.”

Ready to apologize again, Jungkook suddenly stopped himself. An apology would have only been genuine if he knew what he was apologizing for – and he wasn’t sure that he did.

“I’ve never… no one’s loved me like that before,” he admitted, his eyes low.

You shook your head because that wasn’t true at all, and it was painful to know that he’d spent his whole life thinking so. He’d gotten so used to believing that he was only loved as much as he was useful, he couldn’t even see how some love was completely unconditional.

“Yes, they have,” you said, speaking slowly because you waited for him to look at you again, “your mom—she loves you much more than you see. Let her. Let me. Learn how to stop thinking of yourself as someone not worthy of love.”

“It’s—but I wasn’t always this way,” he said, not just stepping on the tail, but gripping it tightly, too. “Seven years ago. I’d been putting myself first every day before that. But that day—that last day—t-that was probably the day when I’d made the only smart decision in my life – I did the right thing by not putting myself first. I thought of you, and I walked away.”

You and him kept going in circles -- with Jungkook beating himself up for not being good enough, and then finally giving himself a moment to breathe only to return, yet again, to the loudest voice in his head: he thought he was selfish for being with you. He thought it’d be better to leave.

His mother had thought so, too, and she’d said the exact same thing to you. You’d disagreed then and you disagreed now.

“And how’d that “smart decision” work out in the end?”

“Well—”

“It obviously didn’t,” you answered for him, “or we wouldn’t be having this conversation. But, you know what, you’re right about one thing – maybe the moment you overheard your mom say that she was worried about your influence on me, was exactly the moment you convinced yourself that you weren’t worth it. That you didn’t deserve to be loved unless you became exactly what you thought people wanted you to be,” you finished and Jungkook looked frozen, not daring—and not being able—to move a muscle. You felt the need to add, “so, you’re, uh—you’re right. You weren’t always this way. But this change—that wasn’t a good change. You hadn’t made a good decision. It was stupid. Walking away was stupid.”

It took him a minute to regain control of himself and when he did, he wasn’t sure what to say because, mentally, he was across the table, standing right behind you and holding you so tightly, neither of you was able to breathe.

“I was—” he said and almost choked, his mouth dry. Swallowing, he tried again, “I-I was trying to look out for you.”

“I understand your reasons,” you said, not needing him to explain it again. “Let’s say you were. But I’m not in the ninth grade anymore. You said so yourself, I can walk away. I know my limits.”

Jungkook nodded, keeping his respectful silence as he listened.

“You push them every day,” you added.

Blinking, he scrambled for a way to reply, “I—”

“And,” you weren’t done yet, “I let you know when you do. I tell you. And if you told me about what you were thinking, too, then we could work on it,” you paused, wondering if you’d said everything. Then, deciding that you hadn’t, you added, just to strengthen your point, “walking away is not the best solution. Not when it hurts more than staying.”

Jungkook feared what you would answer, but he still had to ask, “does staying with me hurt?”

Your skin prickled at the sound of his small voice.

“No,” you admitted.

“Does leaving?”

“Yes,” you said. “Always.”

Inhaling sharply, he longed to reach over the table and touch your hand, but he felt himself freeze again – as if this whole afternoon had been one dream, and he was now paralyzed: his mind awake, but his body still asleep.

“Come to my show this Friday night,” he finally asked, his breathing shallow while his words poured out of his mouth in an uncontrollable stream, “fight me and punch me if I’m wrong. Argue with me and completely shatter whatever was left of my ego after I fell in love with you. Leave me by myself if you’ve had too much. Walk away if you need some time to breathe while I learn how to be better. But always come back to me,” pausing because he needed one more moment to brace himself before saying this again, he asked, “stay with me, please.”

keep reading | masterlist

#bts reactions #bts college au #bts fanfiction #jungkook #jeon jungkook #bts angst #jungkook fanfiction #jungkook fanfic #college au #angst #fanfiction #fanfic #jungkook x reader #bts x reader #jungkook angst #bts fanfic #bts au #jungkook au #jungkook college au

497 notes · View notes

oingo233 · 4 years

Text

Rapture is a Boy (8)

Summary: Remus and you have always had a playful, loving relationship but his behavior around the full moon leads you to assume the worst. A huge fight ends with the two of you heartbroken. Will Remus reveal the truth behind his behavior? And will you still love him afterwards or has he truly lost you forever?

Young Remus Lupin x Reader(neutral)

Warning: FLUFF, so much fluff you could drown in it, self-doubt (brief)

Authors Note: This is the last part, which is crazy to me, I truly hope yall love it. This series is dear to my heart because it has allowed me to meet and talk to you and so many other amazing people! You all mean so much to me, and Remus is my lil baby too. I can’t even express how much I appreciate and love you all <3

Word Count: 5k

Part One - Part Two - Part Three - Part Four - Part Five - Part Six - Part Seven

Part Eight

****A Stag, a Rat and a Dog***

Remus POV

“That was-” Peter couldn’t even finish his sentence, he just laughed, he laughed so loud it was hard not to join in with him. James pat his back and nodded, wiping some of the blue glitter off on his shirt.

“Right, mate.” he agreed. Sirius was bouncing in his spot, none of our smiles breaking or dimming. “Another notch under the belt of our legacy of awesome,” he all but sang, all of our cheeks still flushed from this morning. He hit Sirius’s arm and they began to race up the stairs, Peter and I followed, jogging after them. “Lily loved it too!” he added, smiling even bigger at just the thought of her, he was beating Sirius.

We all stopped running and Sirius was scowling, he lost, we all stood at the portrait when Sirius turned to me. “Worked well on (Y/N) too,” he stated, smirking at me and making a sexual motion with his hips, James laughed and I pushed him. “Ew, your palms are sweaty.”

“We’ll excuse me, ABBA sweats no doubt after giving the performance of a life time.” I say while James says the word and the painting opens for us. “Besides, it has worked for now. But they are still oblivious to the truth. I might lose them all over again, once they know.”

The mood seemed to darken at this realization. Not everyone is as understanding about my condition as the boys. That’s the real reason I couldn’t stop sweating, and if the boys looked close enough they’d see I couldn’t stop shaking ever so slightly too. I just got (Y/N) back, I’m not sure how well I’d be able to cope with losing them a second, and final time. My heart broke just at the thought, and at the very realization that I might have to prepare myself for such an outcome.

“Mate, (Y/N) is one of the people in this world that loves you most. Besides us of course,” James smiled softly, trying to lighten the mood whenever he could, “I doubt, that anything could make them think differently of you. You’re not just your condition. You’re Remus feckin Lupin!” The other boys cheered in agreement as we stepped into our dorms, Peter even went as far as rubbing my shoulders to build up my confidence, he saw a trainer do it to a wrestler on muggle TV once.

“And we’ve got a romantic feckin plan!” Peter cheers, still excited about what is yet to happen. I swallow thickly once more, this day could be one of the best in a while, or the absolute worst. I guess we’ll know tonight.

“Yes, and are you guys sure you are okay with this?” I ask, for the fifth time. James rolls his eyes, and Sirius bangs his head on the dorm room wall.

“Yes, Moony. Yes. Yes. Yes. We are okay with this for the millionth time. (Y/N) is our friend too, and all we want is to see the lot of ya happy again, so will ya shut up about it. We already agreed, mate,” Sirius says, looking up just barely lifting his head from the wall.

“And we don’t like lying to (Y/N) either,” James says, Peter nods with each word falling from their lips, as he tugs on pants and grabs a new, not bedazzled, robe.

We were still talking and going over plans for tonight when we left for first period. The common room was quite expect for our meshed whispers and loud footfalls, it wasn’t until the painting door swung open that we heard another sound. An all too familiar sound.

Professor McGonagall cleared her throat before us. Her hands folded in at her chest and her pointed eyes trained on us, unblinking. We all swallowed thickly, our fear and respect for her almost overwhelmed our courage and friendliness towards her. Almost.

“Did ya enjoy the concert, Minnie? I was singing just for you.” Sirius said, smiling and trying not to laugh as her expression remained unmoving. James joined in and I nearly rolled my eyes, but a smile found it’s way onto my lips nonetheless.

“Yeah, we saw ya a-tap-tap-tappy your toes!” He says, doing a little dance. I was amazed by her ability to not even crack a smile at our enthusiasm, but then again, this was nothing new to her. “ABBA gets to the best of us doesn’t it?” As if on cue, Sirius was speaking again. I fought my smile and faked a sullen expression, fingers crossed behind my back, this was the part where one of us tried to weasel our way out of trouble.

“Exactly, our hearts were in it Professor, truly we had good reason and we weren’t hurting anyone. Shame. Just a shame Dumbledore gave us detention, any more severe punishment just wouldn’t make any sense.” She raised a brow and in a last attempt I put in a word of my own.

“But you’re always so sensible Ms. McGonagall. I’m sure your punishment for us will be well-deserved. Perhaps our outfits were too flashy?” Peter chuckles beside me, and shows her the inside of his robe.

“But this one isn’t at all. Ya see?” He shows her adamantly until she raises a hand and we are drowning in silence, she made us sweat in our palms and neck before speaking.

“Yes. It appears your shenanigans are over. But Lucy is still in the hospital wing scrubbing at her skin, the smell is pungent and unmoving. It seems, Sirius,” She turns to face him, his adam apple bobs, “You did hurt someone. The real shame is that you don’t seem bothered by that fact. Follow me, boys.” She said, turning on us, her robes nearly swinging up and hitting our shins. We follow wordlessly and with our heads down, her words bothered us a little, what really stung was the disappointment on her face and in her frown. (Though Sirius swears he heard her singing along).

She went to Peter’s class first, he went to follow her inside but she raised a hand and said “Oh, you won’t be going to class this morning, Mr.Pettigrew.” She excused Peter herself, whispering into the teachers ear. My heart sank at the realization that I would not be seeing (Y/N) again this morning, James eyes me, my mood obviously changed. I couldn’t even spend any time with them before tonight, our lunch would serve as detention as well. I might never get to see them again after tonight, couldn’t even enjoy this little time I have before the truth is out. I won’t be able to be at peace until tonight or maybe even after, because who will love a monster?

For the rest of the morning we were locked in McGonagall’s empty classroom, writing out letters of apology to be given to Lucy in person later that day. And attempting to come up with a charm or some potion that would reverse the long lasting affect of the Stink Bombs that we have created. Wouldn’t be a marauders prank unless everything was well crafted, would it? But now, our little spell seems to be our downfall. Luckily, we found the right reversion potion, and it was taken to Madame Pom. immediately. By the time we were allowed to leave, the bell for second period had just rang.

I sat through my classes with sweaty hands, and bouncing legs. I agonized in the silence of detention about all that could go wrong, several times I re-debated whether I should really tell (Y/N) the truth, but it was clear that I needed too. I have lied for too long, and it has cost me too much. The truth will set me free...or at least I hope it will. I sat through my very last classes feeling both sick, and determined. Before we knew it, it was dinner time and James, Sirius, Peter and I snuck out of the castle for our final act of salvation. Our last attempt to make things right.

Your POV

The ground was rocky and uneven below my feet, between the clumps of dirt and hidden rocks this trip to Hagrids hut felt more like a mountain climbing experience than anything else. But my breathing was not ragged and exaggerated because of the walk, no, it was because ever since this morning my heart has been beating out of control. I’ve been breathless and filled with both anxiety and warmth since Remus kissed my cheek and handed me this note.

Tonight will mark either the end or the fresh start of our relationship, of our friendship...of our love.

My head is spinning as I stumble over a pumpkin root. What has he been hiding from me? Is it something bad, or big, or maybe something he is just blowing way out of proportion? What if the truth pulls us apart even more than the lies?

I shake my head in an attempt to free myself of this anxiety that swells in my stomach like a churning sea. Whatever it is, I will face it with patience and love, but also self-respect. I repeat this to myself until before I know it, I am at Hagrids hut. The walls of his house seemed to mountain over me, it smelled strongly of firewhiskey, burning firewood,rich dirt and sweet pumpkins. The smell did wonders in calming my mind, but I rather large frown makes its way onto my face as I look around. There was absolutely no one in sight.

I cuss under my breath. Maybe this is the wrong place. Maybe Remus is late? I chew at my bottom lip and take a few large steps around the hut, my eyes keep going back to analyze the trees of the forest. The shadows of the forbidden forest seemed to reach for me. It called for me. As if it was a whirlpool sucking me in I stepped towards it, staring into the layers of dark, large trees.

I held my breath as a bush by the very edge of the forest shook, rustling leaves and snapping twigs filled the brisk night air. I shivered, whether it was from the cold or the sudden fear I was not sure, but I did not have time to debate my feelings because suddenly, a canopy of dark green vines, hanging from the trees shifted.

Large, cream horns parted the vines and drooping tree leaves, a particular branch got stuck on the intricate swirling of the horns and snapped completely as the creature stepped further from the shadows, revealing itself to me.

A beautiful Stag stood proud, it’s thick coat shone under the moonlight, it’s chest puffed out at me with pride. The horns only added to it’s graceful height, but it’s eyes are what truly took my breath away. Those round, warm eyes they were so human. So familiar. Before I could debate it any further, the Stag stamped it’s hoof in the dirt softly, it snorted and white air swirled around it’s soft face. Only then did I notice the beautiful yellow rose, plucked from a bush and resting at it’s front legs.

I bring a shaky hand to my mouth, barely able to comprehended the wave of emotions that nearly knock me to my feet. This was of Remus’s doing. But...how? The Stag inclines it’s head curiously at me to the right, it’s large ears flicking with some sort of impatience, or unrest. Only then did I fully seem to understand the familiarity of this creature.

“James?” I gasp. The Stag seems to stand even taller at me, and...smiles. With my mouth still hanging wide open I let out a boisterous laugh. “James!” I almost yell, the Stag snorts again and leans it’s head down, using his nose to push the rose towards me. The movement doesn’t help me get over my shock, but it stirs me into action. I begin to cautiously walk forwards, and as I do the Stag er, James, picks up the rose between it’s teeth, when I am close enough he softly nuzzles it into my hand. I grip it tightly, it has already been de-thorned.

Carefully, with my free hand, I reach it out just a few inches in front of me and James places his Stag head onto my palm. I pet him softly, he stares up at me and it was as if I was staring at James himself.

“You clever bastard!” I exclaim, I knew how hard becoming Animigus is, but why would he do such a thing? I was broken out of my trance when the Stag (James) begins to walk, slowly at first, he looks back at me and inclines his head first and it was as if I could just hear him saying, in his cheeky manner ‘Ladies first, of course,”

I swallow thickly and fight another bout of paralyzing shock, and instead smile, following James through the forest. His hoofs sinking softly into the ground, the sound was methodic and helped with the strange over pour of emotions I’m feeling.

What happened next, is actually quite embarrassing. It started with a little scamper by my feet. Considering how far we’ve walked into the forest I was more than a bit concerned for my safety, but the large, strong Stag beside me cast most of my fears to the side. Then, through a break of moonlight through the trees I saw it. A large, fat rat!

I screamed so loud, dark ravens flew from their slumbers in the trees. James beside me stomped his feet, and checked the perimeter with analyzing eyes, searching for the danger. But they only found the rat. I never thought a Stag could give such an amused, disappointed expression, yet here I stand. Clinging to a deers ass for dear life, and he is looking back at me with said expression. My cheeks flush and I let go of his furry back, then the Rat very slowly inches towards me.

It’s sharp nose lifting and dancing from side to side, it’s soft brown eyes sparkling up at me. I’d say it even looked a little cute, friendly even. But what unusual behavior, and what unusual eyes. It’s tail glowing under the white light like a plump, pink worm...

“Wormtail!” I realize, laughter bubbling from my chest. The Rat lets out a gleeful squeak and James besides me snorts once again, seeming to laugh. The Rat scurried off into the shadows, and I can’t help but berate myself. Did I hurt his feelings?

But then he comes bounding back into sight, he stands on his back legs and his little Rat face seemed to glow with excitement as his pink hands unveiled a small little white wildflower. The same kind Remus would pick for me on walks we took together. My smile only grows bigger as I do a sweet curtsey and pick up the flower mid-bow, lifting it up to my nose as I stand straight again.

“My apologies, you know I don’t like rats. But I suppose I’ll have to make an exception for you.” I smile down at him, and he reveals two yellow buck teeth, smiling up at me with as much of a smile any rat can muster. I fail to hold in my laughter but extend my arm to him, he climbs up it and perches himself on my shoulder. I hold the two flowers in one hand, and rest my other on James soft shoulder, so I can be led through the dark forest, I knew by know, they were leading me to Remus.

Peter climbs down my other arm and onto James back, then up his head. I laugh as Peter holds on for deer(hehe I’m funny) life as James jokingly waves his head back and forth, Peter almost falls off but I help him back. We all seem to laugh in our own ways, when suddenly a loud bark cuts through the sound of laughter and owls and even the rustling of the woods around us. It was loud and impatient and yet humorous, it reminded me of someone I know well. I smirk, raising a brow I turn to the equally amused Stag and Rat, James and Peter.

“Wormtail. Prongs,” I say, motioning to the Stag who only inclines his head again, “And Padfoot. Let me guess... Sirius is also some animal wandering these woods, finding us by chance? A wolf, perhaps? A dog?” They don’t say a thing, they only begin to walk again. Turning us towards the sound of the echoing bark.

I was on the ground before I knew what was happening. We’ve walked just a few more minutes and then a cloud of black overcame my sense and tackled me to the floor. Black, Sirius Black, was a dog and on top of me. He was barking right by my ear and cuddling me, it wasn’t until two little Rat hands attempted to push his leg that he got off.

I was laughing uncontrollably, this was all too much. Too crazy. I knew they were geniuses, but this... becoming Animagus and though the reason was unclear I could feel it, something to do with Remus. With Moony. The nickname had a new meaning to me, and I wasn’t sure what yet, but I was sure I was about to find out.

Sirius was racing around me in circles as I stood up. His black tail wagging wildly, and his fur rustled and tossed under the wind. I wanted to coo and awe, though his eyes were human and mischievous, the rest of him was adorable and strong. A proud, handsome looking dog. It was clear, by his behavior, that he was just as excited to reveal this big secret, as I was to know the truth.

“Sirius! You dog,” I joke, a bad one on my part but he still barked with laughter and I shook my head, taking in the three of them. This was, Merlin, I didn’t even know what this was other than beyond surprising and impressive. Shocking.

Suddenly, Sirius makes one last dart behind me, he sends me in a spin and by the time I can control my footing he is back in front of me. He is sitting on his back legs, front paws up in the air and bent in a cute trick, his ears flopped forward. Just above his paws, drooping from the jaws of his mouth is a single daffodil. Daffodils, like the one written about in this favorite poem of mine that Remus would read me on bad days, I Wandered Lonely as A Cloud by William Wordsworth.

I sigh, tilting my head to the left, a soft smile on my lips. Everything about this was amazing and sweet. It was amazing that the boys had this whole other life I never knew about, which I’m sure there will be a reasonable explanation for my ignorance because ouch. But sweet, because this was obviously planned my Remus, but the boys were taking their own time to make it happen. I bend down and pat Sirius’s head, the only time he lets me touch his hair, I think, almost laughing. His tail wags as I pluck the flower from his mouth and he lets it fall easily into my hand.

I gather it with my other flowers, now forming a little bouquet and bring the whole lot of them up to my face and inhale. I close my eyes as I smell the sweet and powerful aromas, memories with Remus filled my head, and with it, a warmth filled my chest.

“I hope this hasn’t been all too much for you. I thought some truths would be better seen than told,” Remus says, walking up behind me. I spin around, I didn’t even notice the sound of crunching leaves behind me. But I couldn’t find it in me to speak, the moonlight dancing across Remus’s face, highlighting his eyes, and the soft curves of his lips with the ragged lines of his scars, I was astounded by the boy before me. Once again entranced. All the anxiety, all the fear has left me, as I stared at him clad in fancy pants and a button up to match.

He stops walking, unsure of where he stands with me. I step towards him, finding some clearing in the haze I begin to speak.

“It’s wonderful. They’re wonderful,” I say, turning with a thankful smile to the stag, the rat and the dog. They each in turn, show their teeth at me in an attempt of a smile. I laugh and beside me, Remus does too. With a nod of his head, they turn their backs on us and leave. I no longer needed guidance or safety. Remus stood before me and I felt something that has been missing for the past couple of days. And even though I was in the middle of the dangerous, forbidden forest, I knew that I was also home.

“I love the flowers. I must say, this night has already taken the most unexpected turn it could, but the nicknames definitely make more sense,” I attempt a bad joke, a habit of mine in a nerve wracking situation but Remus only seems to grimace slightly, before turning it into a smile, though it was a rather sad one.

“Well, you seem to be taking this well. Have you figured out mine yet?” He asked, his sad tone surprising me. We were so close his voice dropped low just out of habit it seemed, and because the short distance between us put us in a trance. I missed him. I missed him so much my body now seemed to come back from the dead and reach for him, I was alive again with dancing butterflies and buzzing questions. I glanced down to his lips, before taking a step back.

“No. But I can guess. It makes sense, once every month you seem to leave me. You change into someone who is distant, someone who doesn't seem to love me,” He steps forwards, looking pained by this realization, but as I speak it becomes clearer to me, but I can’t yet reach the conclusion.

“I will never become a person who doesn’t love you. I will change and grow but you will be the one thing that remains. You don’t have to guess anymore, but I want you to know that my love for you will always remain, even if after tonight, we do not,” he speaks with such reverence, like our love was something scared to him and deep down, I knew I felt the same way. It is my first love, and if I can help it, than he will be my only lover until the day I die. All I can do is nod as he steps forwards again, I can see a bead of sweat roll down the apple of his cheek, he was about to tell me. I can feel the shaking of his hands as he places them in mine.

Suddenly, his unbreaking stare leaves me, and in place, find the bright moon. Twinkling in the sky and illuminating us in its wake. I understood in that moment, Moony. A boy mapped with scars. Moony. A boy plagued by nightmares, and insecurities. Moony. A tough, but oh so scared boy who seemed to hate the very night itself. Moony. The boy who changes during the month, and is gone completely on the full moon. Moony. Moony, the Werewolf.

I pull on his hands and gather him into my embrace, pulling back only to kiss him sweetly. The world becomes ours as our lips dance with one another to a song we’ve heard before. It is the song of him making love to me. It is the song of the poems he reads me and the flowers he picks. It is the song of the moons very envy as she watches us together. The song of lovers. It moves us. It moves my hands up his neck and through his hair. It moves his lips across my cheek and jaw and then down my neck. It moves the wind, and the trees around us. It pulls the moans from our mouths and then the confessions.

“My beautiful love,” Remus kisses the words into my skin, up to my lips. “My only love,” he mumbles into my lips, kissing me softly but his hands are bruising at my hips. As if I would leave him if he did not hold me close enough and for forever.

“I love you, Remus ‘Moony’ Lupin. I love all of you and all that you ever will be and all that you have been.” He pulls back from me, his eyes glazed with tears and a softness that makes my heart sing. He nods, and than he laughs. A tear falls from his eyes as his head leans back and he laughs, the sweetest sound I’ve ever heard. It was as if all his anxiety, and self-hatred has left him and in their place my words have nestled in. I love him. I love him. I love him.

“I’m a werewolf ya know?” he says, still laughing, he knew I made the connection. At this point it was pre-caution, I roll my eyes and kiss him again. The world is forgotten as we kiss, as we rejoin as one and as lovers. I pull back and softly wipe away his tears.

“I know,” I whisper into his lips, he smiles, giving me a soft kiss. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner, Remus?” I ask, pulling away from him. He frowns now, his cheeks red with blush, and lips to match.

“I thought I’d lose you forever. That you’d think I was some monster, or- or beast. You always looked at me like I was the world, and I was terrified one day you’d see the real me, and just- well, stop loving me altogether.” While he speaks his eyes still glitter with the promise of tears, and my heart sinks at his words.

“I think I understand your anxiety about it. I can’t imagine how hard it must be. But I would never stop loving you for such a thing, merlin, I don’t think anything could stop me from loving you. I never want you to feel the need to hide from me again, okay?” Remus nods into my hands, I still haven't moved them since I wiped away his tears, it seemed like more keeps falling each time.

“The boys became Animigmus to help with my full moons. It can get pretty bad… but ever since they have come along things really got better, really they did.” he adds when seeing my sad facial expression. My heart felt broken all over again at just the thought of Remus being in pain, alone and suffering. I swore in that moment, I’d do anything in this world to help make things better for him. I nod my head. He continues.

“And Lucy, her older sister is a werewolf. She figured out that I was one pretty quickly, she said I could speak to her about it all, and that she could help somehow. It was nothing more, she just let me complain and even write some letter to her sister. I never even thought of Lucy like the way I think of you. She was always just a friend, but that remains no more. To hell with her,” he says. He can’t stop smiling, a real, golden smile. There was nothing holding him back, I could just tell he felt so much lighter. I took his hand and wordlessly led him to sit on the grass with me. We laid shoulder to shoulder, staring up at the stars together.

He told me in depth about how he was bitten as a child, about how it changed his life. Then when the boys told him they were becoming Animgus for him and all the little moments and adventures they’ve had since. He didn’t sugar coat a thing, he didn’t lie. He was bearing his soul before me for the first time, without any thin veil holding us back and I’ve never felt closer to him. It was well past curfew by the time I felt satisfied with everything he’s told me, I felt both heavy with this knowledge and yet free. I felt included and like I truly knew Remus, and I still did love him. More than ever, I love him.

We laid in silence for some time, my head has moved to lay on his chest and I can hear the steady, warm beating of his heart.

“Can you hear it?” he asks, out of the blue. I strain my ears to listen to the forest around us, I lift my head slightly and he laughs. “No. My heart, can you hear it?” I lean back into him and let out a little laugh myself.

“Oh. Yes,” I smile, “I can hear it.”

“Good. It beats for you.”mhe says, I look up at him only to find that he has already been looking at me. His eyes soft, and smile warm, his heart steady under the palm of my hand and loud within the stillness of the night. It beats for you. His words echoed in my head and I couldn’t help myself, I lean forward and press my lips against him. I could kiss him forever. I could be with him here like this forever, alone and in love, honest and unafraid.

I understood a lot of things that night, more than just about who Remus was and the secrets he has been hiding. More than the truths that he bared and the love that we had. I understood how after all this time of separation and uncertainty. After exhausting ourselves in a sea of sorrow and questions, we have finally found our peace. I have found my happiness. And I realized something rather important. Rapture is a boy. Rapture is love.

Taglist:

@crazylokonugget @beyondprincess @1975weasley @nicodoesntexist @goto-hi-this-is-my-brain @yoyoitsbella @ftwert @sognatrice-as-a-hobby @dontjudgemyobsessionpls @blackpinkdolan

@holdenviolet @katie-lupin05 @acoustic-archie @trishizzl @accio-willtolive-lmao @ilistentotayswifttocope @kopheliablack

#young remus imagine #remus lupin #young remus lupin #remus lupin x reader #remus x reader #harry potter #harry potter fandom #the marauders #the marauders fanfiction #fluff #werewolves #pls im emotional this series is over #young marauders #i love yall

107 notes · View notes

natromanxoff · 4 years

Text

An Exclusive Interview With Queen!

Music Life September 1975 issue

By Kaoruko Togo and Keiko Miyasaka

[Original text in Japanese, translation by deathtoming]

Around noon on July 14th, we left the hotel by car, and around two hours later we arrived at the beautiful Ridge Farm, surrounded by trees. We were blessed with clear skies on this day, and the blue sky and the greenery of the farm were almost blindingly beautiful. It was a bit past 2 o’clock. When we arrived in the main building, we were first greeted by a large dog, followed by a familiar voice from a room in the back. It was a large food hall, with Freddie, Brian, Roger, and John present.

When they see us, the four of them say, “Hello! You’re from Music Life, right? Welcome!” and greet us with handshakes. The four of them rented this Ridge Farm to focus solely on rehearsing for their next album. “We’re about to have lunch. Want to join us?” We knew we couldn’t work while hungry, so we accepted their offer with thanks. When the meal finished, we could begin our interview at last….

Music Life (ML): Are you in the middle of recording now?

Roger: No, we’re not recording yet. We’re all practising our new songs together. Once we practise them, we get an idea of how we should record them, I think.

ML: When do you think you’ll start recording?

Roger Maybe in about 3 weeks…

John: We might use Rockfield Studios in Wales.

ML: Do you always record there?

Roger: No, not really, although we did a bit of recording there for our third album, Sheer Heart Attack.

Freddie. We used around five studios to record that one. We’ll probably use several studios this time around, too.

ML: You’ll do a bit of recording in London, too, right?

Roger: Probably a little bit, yeah. We usually do our mixing in London.

Brian: But when we first record the backing track, it’s better to do it somewhere where we’re nice and settled, so it’s good to do it while we’re holed out in the studio. By doing that, we’re able to relax and do the recording.

ML: Can you tell us something about your upcoming album?

Freddie: Yeah, well we only have the rough framework at this point, but I think it will be our best work so far. We’re in the middle of creating the songs now.

Roger: Nothing has really come together yet, so it’s difficult to explain.

John: When we first came here we presented what songs we had written so far to each other, and we had about two albums’ worth, haha.

ML: I hear you’re heading to the US on tour soon.

John: Probably. Our manager is in the US now, and he’s apparently in talks with a bunch of people.

Freddie: We have to decide whether to record the album or go on tour in the US like we had decided during our previous tour.

ML: How long have you been working with your producer?

Freddie: His name is Roy Thomas Baker, and he’s been with us since our debut album.

Roger: We’re co-producing the album with him. Our next album will be with him, too.

ML: This Ridge Farm is such a beautiful place. How did you find it?

Roger: Our mixer, John Harris, found it. The owner often rents out this place to rock groups, apparently.

ML: When you write your songs, do you do it individually?

Freddie: Yes, that’s right. Everyone writes their own songs in their own homes, and then brings it to places like this and we all work on it.

ML: How many songs will be on this album?

Freddie: I don’t know yet. Maybe around 12.

ML: When will it be released?

Freddie: That depends on a lot of things. But I want it out some time this year. It will probably be by the end of this year.

ML: What have you been up to since you came back from Japan?

Freddie: For several weeks, we kept on talking about our time in Japan, haha. We’d unwrap the presents we got from Japan. Please pass along our thanks to our fans in Japan, because we were really treated so kindly.

ML: Is there anything that stands out in particular from your time in Japan?

Roger: Aside from the people we met, probably our final show in Tokyo. Something felt special. It was also our final show in Japan. The atmosphere was wonderful.

John: I also remember appearing in a kimono on stage for the first time in that concert.

ML: What about Japanese food?

Freddie: Like, tempura, haha. We went to a Japanese restaurant with our bodyguards in Japan. Oh that’s right, please send our regards to those bodyguards; we owe them a lot.

ML: What do you want to do the most the next time you’re in Japan?

Roger: I’m going to go shopping for sure, haha! Things like tape recorders and other things. Last time, Freddie bought lots of ceramics, and Brian and John bought cameras.

ML: Brian, you like cameras, don’t you?

Brian: Yeah, I do photography sometimes, and I have lots of other hobbies. Right now I’m really into audio.

ML: Since when have you been taking pictures?

Brian: Since quite a long time ago. But I only recently got a good camera. In England, cameras are so expensive.

ML: This is especially the case in Japan, but you have a lot of young girls for fans. What do you think about that?

Roger: It’s outstanding, haha! Japanese fans in particular give us lots of presents. We don’t get too many gifts from other countries, but it seems to be a part of the Japanese tradition.

ML: Among your young, female Japanese fans, there are some who say that Queen is their first encounter with rock music.

Roger: Great!

Freddie: That’s a good thing. It was really exciting when we were in Japan, and I think it was probably the same kind of atmosphere as it was for the Beatles in the ‘60s.

ML: Were there any interesting gifts from Japan?

Brian: I received a lot of birthday gifts, so thank you very much to all of you for those presents. I received many works of art, and also things like dolls and traditional balls wrapped with beautiful string. We got lots of toys, too.

Roger: That ball with the string was hand-made, right? I got one, too.

ML: In your free time, what kind of music do you listen to?

Roger: I’ve been listening to Led Zeppelin's first album.

Freddie: Lately, classical. Like, Chopin. Also things like Led Zeppelin and John Lennon.

ML: Freddie, you have a broad range of interests.

Freddie: Of course. I’ll listen to anything that I like. That said, there’s no artist whose album I’d buy as soon as it was released.

ML: Brian, what about you?

Brian: Pretty much the same as everyone else. I often listen to Led Zeppelin.

ML: There’s a place called “Rhye” in the lyrics for Lily of the Valley, but is that a real place in England?

Freddie: No, it’s a land from my imagination. It’s also mentioned in Seven Seas of Rhye, and I guess it’s like a fairy tale.

Roger: There is a place called “Rye” in England, although the spelling is different.

ML: Your songs’ lyrics seem to be influenced by classical poets.

Freddie: You’re referring to lyric poetry. I don’t think we’re influenced by that too much. Truthfully, I don’t have time to read. I just like expressing myself in that way. Those kinds of expressions are easier.

ML: Do the really passionate lyrics for love songs come from your personal experiences?

Roger: Ahhhh--!! Haha, yeah right! But I guess there’s, uh, a little bit of something in there.<Grinning> But Brian sometimes writes really passionate ones.

ML: She Makes Me is quite the song, isn’t it?

Brian: No, it’s not like that at all. <Acting quite bashfully> Although there are times when my personal experiences are expressed in song lyrics.

ML: The band does a good job recreating the sound from your records live on stage, don’t you?

Roger: We’re not trying to reproduce what you hear on the record exactly, though. Of course we want to produce a good sound, but on stage we also need to add an exciting mood to the quality of the sound. So that’s why it needs to be a little different from the album.

ML: Which do you like better, recording or performing live?

Freddie: I like both. They’re both interesting in their own ways.

ML: Do you use any special equipment on stage?

Roger: No, although Brian uses echo machines and such.

ML: Do you have a lighting technician?

Freddie: We do have one, but the band comes up with the idea, and our lighting guy -- his name is James Dann -- takes care of the rest. We’ve already come up with our next stage design and it’s going to be interesting.

ML: Killer Queen was a big hit single; are hit singles important to you?

Roger: It’s not absolutely necessary. But we’ll keep on releasing singles. Of course we’ll only release ones we like, though.

ML: Which do you like better, singles or albums?

Freddie: Definitely albums! I think our music is geared more towards albums rather than singles.

Roger: Rather than releasing single after single, it’s better if there happens to be a song in the album that works well as a single, and we release it if the timing is right. It’s not good if we start thinking we need to release a single every 3 months.

John: On this upcoming album as well, we will record everything first, and then release something if it works well as a single. But we don’t particularly record only songs that would work as singles.

ML: Does it seem like you’ll have another song like Killer Queen?

Freddie: No, when Seven Seas of Rhye became a hit in England, the people at the record company wanted our next song to be like that, but we couldn’t do it. We go in the studio and record what we’re feeling at that time, and only after everything is finished do we decide as a group what to release as a single.

ML: So, you’re always looking for a new sound?

Freddie: It’s more interesting that way.

Roger: That’s why we come to places like this, and while we’re rehearsing we make a bunch of noise and form songs from that.

ML: Did someone serve as an inspiration for Killer Queen?

Roger: Freddie’s mom.

ML: Do you have plans for a British tour?

Roger: Yeah. Probably by the end of this year.

John: But first we need to record our album, and we don’t know what will come after.

ML: Which country’s fans do you like?

John: Japan’s, of course, haha!

Brian: <Speaking seriously> We were really surprised by the reaction of our Japanese fans. Honestly speaking, we didn’t realize it was at that level.

Roger: We thought there would be difficulties because of the language difference, but rock fans are the same around the world, in the end.

ML: Did you have a break after you came back from Japan?

John: Just a little. But we had lots of preparation to do, so it’s like we didn’t have a break.

ML: And uhh… now I’d like to ask about things outside of the music. It’s something Japanese fans want to know: when did you fall in love for the first time? What kind of person were they?

Freddie: Err… our first love is, of course, music, haha.

ML: Do you have any memories from when you were going to school?

Roger: I haaaaated school!

ML: What about you, Brian?

Brian: I went to an all boys school. I had no idea what girls were like, right up to when I graduated when I was 18. It was really a shock when I first got to know girls. But that’s the British school system for you. I was raised away from girls for so long that I was afraid to meet them.

Freddie: You’re still afraid of them, aren’t you? Haha. <This was a tough joke>

ML: Freddie, what subjects did you like in school?

Roger Oh, I know! ”Needlework”! <Everyone bursts out laughing>

Freddie: Art. I studied graphics and illustration at an art school for 3 years.

ML: What about sports?

Freddie: I did everything. Cricket, tennis…

ML: Do you still meet up with your friends from school?

Freddie: I often meet with around two of them.

ML: And, finally, are you married?

Roger: Japanese fans often want to know things like that, but I won’t say. <Roger winks mischievously.>

Freddie: We’re all single! But the Japanese girls have to find that out for themselves.

ML: Let’s get a message from each one of you to our readers…

And with that, the friendly interview came to an end. We were fortunate that the band talked to us in a relaxed mood while bathing in the bright sun.

#queen #queen band #roger taylor #freddie mercury #brian may #john deacon

107 notes · View notes

niksixx · 4 years

Text

Plus One

Hello hello hello!!! Here it is. Part 1 of my new Nikki Sixx mini fic. I love this piece, and I just hope you all will enjoy reading it as much as I loved writing it. This fic has more of a modern feel (so basically, present day setting with an 80s Nikki Sixx 😃).

Requested: Graciously by my incredible followers and mutuals :)

Pairing: Nikki Sixx x OC Pia Worthington

Description: Fake dating your best friend when you’re secretly in love with him? Pia Worthington knows exactly how that feels.

A/N: Leave comments and reblog💜 Thank you always💜

*Picture is NOT mine. Found on Google. Credit to the owner.*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Pia’s POV*

As I clutched the red embroidered invitation in my left hand, the black decorated RSVP in my right hand, and stared down at the gold embellished invite on my kitchen counter, I realized that my worst nightmare had come true.

High school reunion.

Work party.

Wedding.

And a plus one line on all three cards.

At twenty-seven, I’d like to think that I am a successful woman with her priorities straightened out. I opened my own small business at seventeen, landed a job as a makeup artist in a beauty salon at twenty two, and became a homeowner at twenty five. On Thursdays, I run a book club, and volunteer at my local SPCA on Monday and Wednesday mornings. From an outsider’s perspective, one could say I have it all.

But like everyone else, I’m still not satisfied with my life. There’s something missing, something I won’t be complete without.

Love.

How cliche, right?

I know what you’re thinking. Pia, you’re a young, successful, independent woman. You don’t need a man. You shouldn’t want a man.

But of course, the only man I’ve ever wanted never wanted me back. Funny how that works.

Again, I’m only twenty-seven. Time is still on my side. But I’d be lying to you if I said I didn’t think about giving up sometimes. I see my friends falling in love, getting married, having babies, and I want that for myself.

Well...most of that. I can do without the kids part. What I want, what I truly want, is a wholehearted love. And one man always comes to mind no matter how hard I try to push him away.

Aside from being my neighbor, Nikki has been my very best friend and the love of my life for so many years. Our friendship blossomed ten years ago when his friend group mingled with mine back in our third year of high school. We were a crazy bunch with various personalities, but it just worked. We all clicked.

Out of the eight of us, Nikki and I were thick as thieves even though our personalities couldn’t be anymore polar. While I was best friends with Amanda, Charlotte, and Vivian since the fifth grade, my relationship with Nikki was just so different. There were things I could talk to him about, and instead of Charlotte’s judgment, I was greeted with Nikki’s comfort. We were an adventurous duo, never doing the same activity twice, which was a huge difference from letting Vivian decide what our group would be doing each weekend.

Aside from being my best friend, Nikki was the biggest supporter in my life. He was the only one that stood by my side, defending my integrity, when my friends were skeptical about my lipstick business. Of course, when I became more established, the girls had dropped dollars on every shade and made sure all the girls in our class knew about my business. But Nikki? He let me test the lipstick. On him.

Senior year was the year when some of our group decided to take things to the next level. Vince and Amanda experimented as a couple, and it unsurprisingly only lasted a good four months before Vince had moved on. At eighteen, he’d already had a reputation for sleeping around, and Amanda, the poor soul, was just clueless to his cheating.

I think the biggest shock was when Nikki and Charlotte had started dating halfway through senior year. From the sidelines, I watched as they became the it couple. I was happy for them, (while simultaneously trying to bury my jealousy), but I had a hard time wrapping my head around the idea of them together. I never would have thought that Nikki’s carefree spirit would mesh well with Charlotte’s stuck up attitude, but for the year they were together, I was proven wrong. Luckily, my relationship with Nikki wasn’t affected. We were still each other’s best friend.

And then college happened.

Well, for some of us.

Vivian and Charlotte attended the most prestigious universities money could buy, and Amanda and I had been accepted into cosmetology school. Luckily, my small business was booming, and I was able to pay for my classes without any help from my family. While the girls and I were off getting our degrees and licenses, the boys were forming a band. An interesting one at that.

By junior year of college, Nikki and Vivian had become official shortly after Viv’s 21st birthday. Again, I watched from the sidelines as the man that I loved gave his love to another woman for three years. This time, I could feel a shift in my friendship with Nikki. We talked a bit less than what was normal for us. Over the years, I barely saw him. His band, officially named Mötley Crüe, had taken up the time he wasn’t spending with Vivian. I had become a mere afterthought, and my heart broke each time I wasn’t able to see him or talk to him. And, to make things even more strange, Tommy and Charlotte had drunkenly eloped in Vegas after one of the boys’ concerts and decided to stay married. At 24, it seemed like everyone was finding their soulmate. Nikki had Viv, Tommy had Charlotte, Mick and Amanda were giving it a try, and Vince and I both weren’t so lucky in the love department.

Fast forward a year later and life for all of us had changed drastically. Nikki and Viv had broken up and it was messy, to say the least. Nikki wasn’t too affected by the breakup, but Viv’s rage had turned her into a woman none of us knew. I had finally worked up the courage to tell Nikki how I felt (and believe me, I wanted to tell him) but, alas, shortly after Mick and Amanda had called it quits, Amanda and Nikki had fallen head over heels for each other. Vince and I were still painfully single (although Vinnie didn’t seem to mind the freedom) and were given the title of ‘godparents’ to Tommy and Charlotte’s son. The boys’ band had become one of the biggest bands in America. And to distract myself from the pain of watching Nikki fall in love yet again with someone who wasn’t me, I bought a house to wallow in.

Which, finally, brings me back to today.

I’m Pia Worthington.

27.

Homeowner.

Business owner.

Makeup artist.

And devastatingly single.

So, what happened to everyone else?

Well, Tommy and Charlotte remain happily married with two little boys. Who knew one drunken night in Vegas could lead to a happily ever after?

Mick and Vivian had married last year and were expecting twin girls. Yes, this shocked everyone, but they were a match made in Heaven. Who knew? Somehow, Mick had broken down the walls around Viv’s heart, and she loved him fiercely.

Vince and Amanda had decided to try again. I was proud of Vince. He’d done a complete 180, always treating Amanda with the respect she deserved.

And Nikki and I? We’re still best friends and closer than ever. We’re happy, all eight of us, after years of drama, devastation, and heartbreak.

With a sigh, I grabbed all three invitations in my hand and plopped down on my sofa. Okay, so I lied, I’m not completely happy. The plus one line on each invitation was just a painful reminder of how lonely I was.

And then my mind wandered to Nikki. Asking him to be my plus one would be practical, but I’m not sure my heart could handle knowing it wasn’t real.

But as I glanced down at the invitations once more, I realized that I couldn’t keep living like this. For years, I’d been pining over a man who dated all of my friends and neglected to give me a chance. I shouldn’t still want him as much as I do. He’s made it clear that I’m not and will never be more than a friend. And it’s about time I move on from the fairytale ending in my head.

So with a firm grip on the cards and a stern look on my face, I flung open my door and marched right over to Nikki’s house.

And he answered on the third knock, looking even more handsome than the last time I’d seen him.

Yeah...getting over the fairytale in my head? Not happening.

#nikki sixx #vince neil #tommy lee #mick mars #motley crue #motley crue fanfic #motley crue fanfiction #nikki sixx fluff #nikki sixx angst #nikki sixx fanfic #nikki sixx fic #nikki sixx fanfiction #nikki sixx x oc #motley crue fic

63 notes · View notes

wrienne · 3 years

Text

My Cheating, Amnesic Fiancé

Chapter 9: House of Bangtan

“That won’t be necessary,” you immediately said.

Hoseok shook his head while smiling. “I think it’s about time we get to know each other. Or what do you think, Jimin?”

Jimin stood next to Taehyung, chatting quietly when he turned around. “Did we really buy enough food for all of us?” he asked hesitantly.

“We bought the amount we usually do,” answered Hoseok. “And I seriously doubt she eats more than Jungkook.”

Taehyung opened his mouth to speak but Hoseok stopped him. “You don’t get to say anything,” he interjected. “What do you think Jungkook would say or do if he saw the way you treated (Y/N)?”

“Nothing. She doesn’t even like us,” said Taehyung stiffly. “He told me she refuses to go to the concerts or support him. She wouldn’t even congratulate him on our first win.”

“Are you serious?” You couldn’t help but raise your voice. “He has never invited me. I only came yesterday because my best friend had a ticket available. Jungkook even explicitly told me several times that he didn’t want me to come.”

“I sense a liar.”

“Taehyung,” said Hoseok before you could respond. “I know you’re hungry, but let’s stop with the accusations. There must be a reason why you two disagree. Let’s just invite (Y/N) on dinner so we can talk about it and get to know who exactly Jungkook’s mysterious family friend is. You can get to rummage through his wardrobe as well,” he told you.

“I appreciate the offer, I really do, but I have to get back to the hospital,” you lied. Okay, not completely since you had no idea what terror Jungkook might had spread among the hospital staff so far. But the first part was untrue. You were definitely not up for eating with six strangers, of which at least one was furious at you. “I only need his clothes.”

But then you got an idea. They had lived with Jungkook for the last couple of years, meaning they would know a lot more about him than anyone else, maybe even his parents. Perhaps a dinner wasn’t the worst way to get more information that might help you restore Jungkook’s memories.

Perhaps befriending the Bangtan Boys would benefit all.

“Besides,” you added shyly with this new plan unfurling in your mind. “I don’t want to intrude.”

“Please,” said Hoseok with a soft snort. “I wouldn’t invite you if I thought you would be intruding. Everyone has been curious about you and Jungkook ever since we first heard of you… what, five or so years ago? But I understand if you need to get back to the hospital.”

You checked your phone and pretended to contemplate whether you could stay or not. Jungkook would survive an additional hour or so. “I mean, I told Jungkook I would be back by six. School ended a bit earlier than I expected though, so I do technically have some time to spare...”

“Then you’ll eat. We bought too much food anyways.” He held out his hand. “I’m Jung Hoseok - J-Hope on stage.”

You shook it. “(Y/F/N).”

“I know.” He grinned.

Hoseok released your hand and walked toward the elevator doors. Taehyung pushed the button calling for the elevator, ignoring you as you approached the three guys.

“Park Jimin, but mostly just Jimin.”

After returning the grocery bags to Hoseok, Jimin held out his hand. You shook it also and repeated your name, then glanced at Taehyung. Jimin and Hoseok communicated wordlessly through their eyes when Taehyung refused to greet you.

“That’s Kim Taehyung,” said Jimin finally as he turned his focus back toward you.

“Don’t mind him,” said Hoseok. “He’s behaving irrationally, but only because he cares for Jungkook. He’s not a bad person.”

You nodded. It wasn’t as if you didn’t understand the guy. In fact, he was behaving much better than you would have should the roles have been reversed.

The elevator doors slid open and the four of you entered. Taehyung pressed the button for the ninth floor and the doors closed. He stood as far away from you as he could as the elevator took you up.

“So, (Y/N), how long have you known Jungkook?”

“Probably from the time I was born, since he was out in the world before me,” you told Hoseok. “What about you?”

“Since he was fourteen or fifteen,” he replied, then assumed a teasing expression. “He was shorter even than Jimin is now at the time he came to us.”

“Hey!” Jimin glared at Hoseok. “I have grown, too!”

“You have? I haven’t noticed.”

Jimin looked as if though he wanted to say something else, but he stopped himself when he noticed you looking at him. He cleared his throat and averted his gaze.

“He still doesn’t remember us, right?”

“I wouldn’t say no,” you said, feeling responsible for the hurt in his voice, then guilty when he glanced at you with hope in his eyes. You should have formulated yourself better. “...in the way that he might have miraculously regained his memories during the day. But the situation seemed unchanging this morning.”

Jimin merely nodded and looked away again.

“But I do have news that I would like all of you to hear,” you said, suddenly realizing you held a piece of information they most likely didn’t know. “I don’t know if Sejin has updated you on the situation but, there is still something we can do in order to restore Jungkook’s memories.”

The elevator came to a slow stop and its doors glided open on the ninth floor. Yet none of the people in the small space moved, including you.

“What?”

Taehyung frowned at you. Hoseok and Jimin stared at you.

“There’s a way to restore him,” you clarified. “Jungkook might still be able to perform with you in Japan.”

“That’s not important,” said Taehyung.

“Who cares about that,” agreed Hoseok. “Are you absolutely certain, (Y/N)? Is there a way to return him his memories?”

“Yes,” you said with a smile as you stopped the elevator door from closing. “I would like to explain it to all of you, if it’s possible. Are the three remaining members at home?”

“I would think so,” said Jimin. “Or did Namjoon-hyung and Yoongi-hyung say they were going to the studio?”

“Not what I remember,” said Hoseok. “Namjoon is supposed to help Jin-hyung with dinner today. And Yoongi-hyung is probably asleep as usual the day after a concert.”

“Let’s hurry then,” said Taehyung and was first out of the elevator.

You followed them into their apartment. Now, you hadn’t expected a home of seven dudes to be the cleanest in the world, but this was far beneath your usual standard. What had probably been equipped to handle a family of four or perhaps five, had turned into a home for seven bachelors, to be frank. You could only imagine how often they ordered Chinese food or fought for dominion over the two bathrooms you spotted on each end of the slim hallway running through the apartment.

Taehyung was quickest out of his sneakers and hurried down the hallway, with Hoseok following closely behind. “Hello? Is everyone home?”

“We’re back!” Hoseok called cheerily. “And we have a guest!”

You tried not to stare at the floor-to-ceiling shelves crammed with shoes and various beauty products that completely covered the eastern wall of the hallway. They were lucky no earthquakes occurred on the regular in Korea.

“‘A guest’?” came the muffled response, probably from behind a door.

“It’s a girl!” answered Jimin.

You tentatively zipped out of your boots, but kept your jacket on and the duffel bag still in your hand. Jimin had to unlace his shoes and leaned into the wall as to let you pass. You padded down the hallway, which opened up into a small dining room adjacent to a living room that was more like a storage room. Or actually, everywhere seemed to be the storage room. There were clothes and accessories and random items literally everywhere you looked. You weren’t a cleaning saint, but living even a week there would have driven you mad due to the disarray.

You didn’t know if that’s what made the apartment look much smaller than you initially had anticipated. Though homey, it felt cramped. Unorganized.

Frankly, it was a complete mess.

Around the corner of the hallway, almost like in a slim but deep alcove, was the kitchen. The mat-white glass separators had been pushed aside, allowing Hoseok to walk to and from the dining table where he and Taehyung had placed their grocery bags. He gradually filled the fridge and the tiny cupboards with their buys and smiled at you as he passed. “Anything to drink?”

You shook your head.

“Not even water?”

“No, thank you.”

“Have a seat,” he told you. “The others are probably getting dressed.”

You frowned, but his gaze was too knowing and his smile a bit too teasing for you to ask what he had meant by that. Taehyung stood alone by the small dining table, tapping impatiently with his fingers on one of the chairs as he looked from one closed door to another. He ignored you again, but his eyes narrowed when you chose a chair to sit on.

“Er,” you tried, knowing you and your parents had untold, designated places around your rarely used dining table. “Is this your seat?”

“That’s Jungkook’s.”

Great. If there was any kind of Jungkook-related gambling game out in the world, you would be its grandmaster.

Before you could come up with an adequate reply, however, one of the bedroom doors opened, revealing Rap Monster - or rather, Kim Namjoon - and Kim Seokjin, stage name Jin. Both looked as if though they had gotten dressed in a hurry: the tag to Namjoon’s shirt protruded from his neck and one leg was shorter than the other on Seokjin’s jeans.

Taehyung frowned at them as they exited. “You don’t usually hang out in hyung’s room,” he stated, nudging his head toward Namjoon to signify whose room it was.

“We were discussing whose socks these are,” said Namjoon as he held up something white. His eyes found yours and rounded in surprise.

“We figured they were Jungkook’s,” added Seokjin and nodded, also looking at you instead of Taehyung. “Besides, he is sleeping in our room.”

“Not anymore, I’m not.”

Jimin and the last remaining member of BTS emerged from the obscurity of the hallway. Suga, whose real name you had learned was Min Yoongi, regarded you with the same expressionless eyes he had when you first had met. His voice was low like Taehyung's, but whereas the latter’s voice was breathy and admittedly felt like soft, warm velvet, Min Yoongi’s voice was raspy, hollow almost.

“Well then, we’ve all gathered.” Hoseok crumbled up the plastic bags with one hand and gestured toward you with the other. “Guys, this is (Y/F/N). She has some news we all need to hear regarding Jungkook.”

“Hoseok-hyung also invited her on dinner,” said Taehyung sternly.

“Which she agreed to stay on,” said Jimin.

“Er, alright.” Namjoon approached you as he tossed the socks sideways behind him. He held out his hand. “I’m Kim Namjoon,” he greeted.

Seokjin stepped forward after you had shaken hands with Namjoon. “Kim Seokjin,” he said as you took his hand. “I hope you like your ddukbokki extra spicy - Kim Namjoon doesn’t know when to stop seasoning. And did you finally buy the right kind of gimbab, Hoseok?”

“Of course,” replied Hoseok. “Everything’s on the counter, it’s just for you two to start cooking.”

“We should take care of (Y/N)’s business first.”

Min Yoongi didn’t offer you his hand. You tried not to think about what that meant, but since Taehyung had disregarded introducing himself to you as well, you had an idea. Yoongi went past you, took a chair and gestured for everyone to do the same.

You did your best to avoid Taehyung’s face as you sank down on what you now knew was Jungkook’s usual seat. You moved to scratch your arm when you realized you were still wearing your jacket. It was fortunately warm inside their apartment - the floor heat soothing your usually cold feet - but rapidly getting a bit too hot for comfort inside your winter jacket. Still, it felt odd to spare a moment to shrug it off when the topic you would touch on was so urgent.

“So…” you began in a quiet tone. Their attention felt like bright spotlights on you and you fidgeted nervously in the chair. “There might be a way to restore Jungkook’s memories.”

#MCAF #wrienne #ao3 #bts x reader #bts fanfiction

15 notes · View notes

xxfanfiction-emo-trinityxx · 4 years

Text

Cold Night - Gerard Way x Reader

Request: The “but there’s only 1 bed...” trope with basement Gerard?

Summary: you’re spending the night in a small motel, and of course it’s Gerard and the reader who end up in the single bed room.

Word count: 3 327

A/N: kinda the wrong season for this but who cares, right? Also the dialog between Frank, Ray and Mikey: I read it again and actually got annoyed at them…

The air in the van was freezing cold and used, but you had been breathing it for so long now that you did not even notice. Ray was confidently steering the old, rusty car down the highway with Gerard asleep in the passenger seat while you were squeezed between Frank and Mikey in the backseat. You were shivering from the cold, but their body heat kept you a little warmer. It seemed like a lifetime ago since you had been able to feel your legs the last time, thanks to the amplifier that successfully stole all the space for your legs. You had tried to vary your sitting position as often as possible, but since Frank had sleepily cuddled into your side and effectively immobilized you, it had become impossible to move. While your legs were completely numb, your butt sure was not as lucky, and instead itched from all the sitting.

Just when you were certain you would eventually scream, just to get rid of some of the built up tension from not being able to move all day long, the van passed the sign that announced you had reached the city where the band would play their next concert tomorrow evening. A sigh of relief escaped your lips, and as if Ray had felt your despair, he pulled into the gravel parking lot of a motel just a couple of minutes later.

The motor was not even turned off yet, when you had already pushed Frank off of you and jumped out of the car, trying to get your legs to work again. It felt like thousand ants were biting you, and while you jumped around to get your blood flow working, Gerard slowly lifted his head, and looked out of the window. He decided that you, even if it was while jumping around like a maniac, were the best thing he could possibly wake up to.

When the feeling of the ants finally disappeared again, and even your behind had forgiven you for the torturous drive, you calmed down a little. Out of breath you stretched your arms over your head, shivering once more from the icy breeze that blew over your skin where your shirt had ridden up just enough to reveal a tiny bit of your stomach and back. Right now you could not care less. Turning around your own axis, your arms still stretching in the hopes to feel more human again, you took in your surroundings.

The motel was pretty small, and from what you could tell, most of the rooms were taken already. Fog started building over the parking lot and the street, and all that was missing was the moose appearing from behind a tree in the deep forest. You continued turning slowly, and noticed that Ray was already walking over to the door that had a big red sign saying “reception”.

Mikey and Frank had climbed out of the van too, and were stretching just as much as you, while starting to fantasize about a bed for themselves out loud. And then there was Gerard. The passenger door was open, his legs hanging out of the vehicle, but he was still sitting, his piercing eyes carefully watching every single one of your movements. When he noticed that you had seen him, he quickly turned away, but he had not been fast enough to hide the dreamy expression in his eyes.

As if you had been caught doing something forbidden, you quickly lowered your arms, allowing your shirt to cover your upper body completely once again, while you tried to ignore the racing of your heart which you got every time you thought of the nerdy lead singer. Instead you decided to follow Ray, in the hopes to forget the way Gerard had looked at you as if he actually liked what he had seen.

The small room that hosted the reception was air conditioned, much to your relief, and cosily warm. Ray had already told the man behind the counter what the five of you were looking for, but the man just shook his head.

“I got a single and a double bed room,” he told Ray, who sighed barely audibly.

“Are there no other rooms available,” he asked desperately.

“None, now do you want to take the rooms or not?”

Ray and you exchanged glances. There was no way any of you would get back into that van before tomorrow.

“We’re five people. That still okay,” you inquired.

The man shrugged and noted something down in a book before telling Ray the price for two nights, and handing you two room keys.

The metal felt foreign between your icy and numb fingers, and you quickly turned around to tell the boys about the development while you thought about the chance that you would end up sleeping right next to Gerard. Not that you wanted to. Well, maybe you wanted to.

“Two rooms,” Mikey asked shocked.

“I’m not sharing with Gerard, he’s always snoring,” Frank immediately claimed.

“So are you,” replied the black haired man.

“Hey (y/n), do you wanna share the single room,” Frank asked, trying to make sure he would not have to share a bed with Gerard.

“I was thinking we could pair up,” Mikey interrupted, throwing a hopeful glance your way.

“I really don’t care,” you answered, giving an indifferent shrug towards the young men while a secret voice in your head was screaming to ask to share a room with Gerard. What you really wanted though was to get out of this bloody cold of tonight’s late march evening.

“If you have to fight about it, I get to share the room with (y/n),” Ray, who had reached the van too, decided.

“Who decided I have to sleep in the single room,” you tried calming the situation, but Frank had already started talking, far louder than you.

“Oh yeah, who made you the boss?”

“Well, judging by height, you definitely aren’t” Ray bit back, causing Frank to jump up in rage.

“Who do you think you are, you-“

“Well, who does get to share the room with (y/n) now,” Mikey wondered, which started a heated debate between the three men.

Gerard sighed quietly, and with a shake of his head he reached between his fighting band members, ending the fight effectively by stating with an annoyed groan that since the three seemed to need some bonding time they would share a room.

Fuming, but not daring to disagree with him, they accepted the deal, which somewhat surprised you. But then again all of you were tired, and it was incredibly cold, and the rooms would have air conditioning at least.

Grabbing your bag from the back of the van, you followed Gerard to the part of the motel with the single rooms.

“I can take the sofa,” he offered even before he had reached the door.

You shook your head.

“It’s fine, I can take the sofa, I really don’t mind.”

The little sign dangling from the key read the number seven, so when you had reached the room, you unlocked it, being met with the ice cold and dusty air of a room that had cooled out. But what you noticed first was the size of the room. And that was not big.

The room was just big enough for a single person bed that had been pushed against the wall, a table with a single chair, and a small door.

“Let me guess, the door doesn’t lead to a second, bigger room,” Gerard joked, pushing past you into the room.

“Bathroom, I guess,” you agreed with a small sigh.

All of a sudden you realized what that meant. It meant you really, really had to share the bed with Gerard. And it was a small bed.

“Seems like the sofa discussion is over,” Gerard shrugged, and threw his bag on the bed.

“Yeah,” you agreed quietly, all of a sudden not sure whether you could go through with this.

Putting your own bag down on the poor excuse of a table, you opened the second door, and were met with a small bathroom. The last, almost blue, rays of sunlight fell through the dusty window, but at least the set of towels seemed fresh.

“So, how does this thing work?”

You turned back to the room, and found Gerard was already standing on the bed, his shoes discarded on the floor, trying to get the air conditioner to work.

“Try this,” you grinned, and threw him a small remote which you had found on the table.

After having pressed a couple of buttons, Gerard successfully managed to get the white box to make a few strange sounds, and a couple of seconds later air blew into the room, air that quickly got warm.

“Heaven,” Gerard sighed, and flopped down on the bed.

“Indeed,” you agreed.

For a few moments you allowed the warm air to engulf you before you spoke up again.

“Mind if I take a shower?”

Gerard shook his head, so you grabbed your bag, and went back into the small bathroom.

You turned the water as warm as it got, trying to get your body to thaw. While standing under the pleasantly hot water, you could not help but think about Gerard and the fact that you would have to share a bed tonight. It should not be anything to worry about, right? After all he only saw you as a friend, didn’t he? But as hard as you tried, you did not see him as just a friend. To you he had always been more; first a crush, then you had considered yourself to be in love with him, but now… it was hard to put it into words. Gerard was the person you trusted most in the world, the person who always listened to you, who you listened to. You spent weekends together, playing video games, watching movies, discussing fan theories about The Lord of the Rings. He knew almost everything about you, except how hard you wanted to be able cuddle up to him every night, and how unreasonably jealous you got every time some random girl flirted with him.

Shaking your head, trying to clear it, you quickly finished the shower, hoping you had not used up all of the warm water.

When you came back into the bed room, the air had warmed up already. You felt a little cold again since the room was no comparison to the warm bathroom, but better than nothing. Gerard sat at the table, wearing a jacket, and doodled into his notebook.

“Bathroom’s free,” you let him know, pushing your day clothes into your backpack, now that you were wearing your pyjama.

“Okay, thanks,” Gerard nodded, closing his notebook, and sending you a smile. Did he have to look this soft and cuddly wearing this jacket?

He grabbed his own pyjama from his bag, and carelessly pushed the notebook and the pen inside, before he disappeared in the bathroom.

Shivering slightly, you sat down on the edge of the bed, and took another look around the room. The window was tiny, and you could not see outside. By now it was so dark outside that the lights from the room reflected in the glass. Standing up, you walked to the window, and tried spying outside. A single lamppost lit up the parking lot. A lot of cars, including the band’s van were parked outside, mostly pick-up trucks and range rovers. But beyond the parking lot, there was only darkness and the wilderness of the endless seeming forest.

Turning back to the room, you noticed that Gerard’s notebook had slipped out of the bag, and was lying on the floor. Walking over you picked it up. The leather of the cover was smooth and almost warm. For a split second you felt tempted to take a look inside, but decided against it. You would not want Gerard to look through your private things either. So you pushed it back into the bag and made sure it would not slip out again.

You decided Gerard probably would not mind if you went to bed already. You were cold again, and hoped that the blanket would give some comfort, more than the weak air conditioner did. In the bathroom you heard Gerard quietly humming over the sound of rushing water.

The blanket was rigid when you unfolded it, and crawled underneath. The bed was ice cold, and you scooted close to the wall.

Not much later, Gerard came back out of the bathroom. He could not help but smile when he spotted you, tucked in up to your nose.

“Tired,” he asked, putting away his clothes, and sitting down on the edge of the bed.

You just nodded.

“Hungry,” he continued asking, but this time you shook your head. Honestly you did not trust your voice not to shake. “Me neither. That veggie burger for lunch was gigantic!”

You giggled, remembering how full all of you had been. It had been delicious.

“Yeah, that was some meal,” you agreed.

“Should we go to sleep?”

“If you don’t mind? I’m really tired, and tomorrow is a long day,” you mumbled.

Gerard shook his head. “Not at all. I’m super tired too.”

He walked to turn off the lights, and felt his way back to the bed in the dark. Quickly he slipped under the blanket next to you, along with some cold air. You scooted as close to the wall as possible to make enough space for him, but you could tell that with the space he left between you, he was still balancing on the edge of the tiny bed.

“Thanks for warming the blanket up,” he joked, and you laughed quietly.

“Do have enough space? It kinda feels like you’re falling out of bed,” you asked, trying to make out his face in the minimal light.

“Uhm, well- yeah, I am,” Gerard admitted, “mind if I scoot closer?”

“It’s fine,” you encouraged, but at the same time wondered why you were doing it. Did you want to kill yourself with a heart attack?

Gerard moved away from the edge, and by the time it did not feel like he was millimetres away from falling out of bed anymore, he was basically laying chest to chest with you.

“If I snore, wake me up, okay,” Gerard instructed, making you laugh.

“I will,” you agreed, “good night.”

“Sleep well,” Gerard replied, and even though you could not see him in the dark, you could hear the smile on his lips.

For a while you were lying in silence. Your heart was racing, being so close to Gerard. His body was soft and warm, and you wished you could just hug him. Almost as if Gerard had heard your thoughts, he eventually cleared his throat.

“Uhm, do you mind if I…?”

“What,” you asked into the direction from where Gerard’s warm breath was fanning over your skin.

“Ahm-“ somehow he seemed not to find the right words, but instead he wrapped his arm around you a moment later, and pulled you a little closer.

The breath hitched in your throat, and your heart skipped a beat.

“Is that okay,” Gerard asked shyly, but you just nodded, feeling his hair brush against your face.

You could feel him relax, his arm getting heavier around your waist, and you hesitantly lifted your hand to his chest, not sure if he would push you away any moment, but then again he had been the one initiating the contact first. That your worries had been unwarranted was proofed by the little sigh that escaped Gerard, and he moved closer into your touch.

Smiling slightly, you tried to relax your tensed-up muscles. Gerard’s presence was comforting and familiar, even though you had never been this close to him. The butterflies, that had erupted in your stomach slowly settled down, and just when you had finally been at the brink of falling asleep in Gerard’s arms, he spoke up again, his voice sending vibrations through his chest.

“(y/n)?”

You opened your eyes, and now, that you were used to the dark, you were able to make out his shining eyes right in front of you. Your faces were barely two inches apart.

For a while you were looking at him, waiting for him to say something else, but he did not. Instead he stared at you through the darkness. You were about to ask what was wrong, when he suddenly moved, and pressed his lips against yours in a quick kiss, pulling away as quickly as he had lent in.

Surprised you looked at him, feeling him shaking with nerves underneath your fingertips on his chest. His eyes were closed, as if he was avoiding meeting your eyes.

“Gee?” Moving your hand from his chest up his neck to the side of his head, you gently wrapped a strand of his hair around your finger. “Gerard?”

Slowly he looked at you, the fear of rejection clear in his eyes. If only he knew he did not have to fear that from you.

Gently you guided his head back closer to yours, and connected your lips to his again. It took him a moment, but then he seemed to understand, and kissed you back, wrapping his arms around you tighter, and pulling you even closer to him. His hot lips and breath was welcome contrast to the still cold air of the room, and your heart beat hard as you ran your fingers through his slightly greasy hair and over his soft skin.

Far too quickly for your liking, you ran out of breath, and pulled away slightly, laying back down in the pillow, but Gerard moved over, and peppered your face with tiny kisses until you were full on laughing.

“You’re tickling me,” you exclaimed, pretending to try to shove him away.

“Good, I’ll need to remember that,” he answered, making you laugh even harder.

He fell back into the matrass next to you, and immediately pulled you close again, arranging the blanket over both of you so were cocooned in. His nose was brushing against yours, and you were breathing against each other’s skin.

“I just want you to know that I’ve wanted to kiss you since – since always, really,” he admitted, making you blush.

You nuzzled your nose into his neck, and inhaled the familiar scent, making him giggle.

“Thanks,” you mumbled, leaving a soft kiss against his neck before looking at him again, giving his lips a sweet kiss as well, which made him smile.

“What for,” he asked surprised.

“Having the courage to kiss me. I wouldn’t have had the courage to kiss you, well, I didn’t,” you shrugged, “no matter how much I wanted to.”

“That’s okay,” Gerard grinned, and brushed his fingers through your hair, “I’m just glad you didn’t sucker punch me.”

Both of you giggled at that, and sleepily you adjusted your position in Gerard’s arm.

“When I wake up tomorrow, will this have been a dream,” you wondered yawning.

“If it was, then it would have been a dream we both dreamt, and then we can just continue like this in the real world,” Gerard suggested, smiling at how comfortable you seemed to be in his arms. No matter how silly it seemed, he had always worried that if he ever got to the point of holding you in his arms, you would not be comfortable, or would not like it for some reason. But the way you were cuddling into him now, yawning and smiling, you seemed pretty happy.

Gerard watched you fall asleep, and decided that maybe, you had been right and all this was a dream. So there was only one way to avoid waking up – not falling asleep. Not that he would be able to sleep anyway, your sleeping form was far too distracting.

Taglist (if you want to be added or taken off, please let me know):

General: @justawriterinprogress @robinruns @jayloverthe3rd @lookalivefrosty @butterflycore (hi :D you changed your username! Do you want me to contine tagging me?) @starduststyx @angelevansfalls @rene-royale

#gerard way x reader #gerard way x reader fluff #gerard way x reader fanfiction #gerard way x reader imagine #gerard way x reader fanfic #gerard way fanfic #gerard way fanfiction #gerard way fluff #gerard way imagines #mcr imagine #mcr fanfiction #my chemical romance fanfic #my chemical romance fanfiction #my chemical romance imagine #my chem imagine #my chem fanfic #my chem fanfiction #fluff #one bed

338 notes · View notes

thoughts-on-bangtan · 4 years

Text

Why these ships

Yesterday Admin 1 posted a rather complex post (x), so today we thought we’ll take it a little easier and instead talk about our ships and why we ship the ships we ship. Seems fun, right? This isn’t meant as some kind of detailed analysis of moments or a way to convince others of why these ships are superior somehow, because that’s not something we do around here.

This is simply meant as something lighthearted and for you to get an idea of who types these posts and the POV we have when looking at ship content, as well as what got us into being vminies and namjinists.

Since Admin 1 is a very wordy person, we’ll start with Admin 2. Let’s go!

Admin 2, who ships vmin

My bias is Tae and my bias wrecker is Namjoon. When it comes to Tae, it isn’t about his stunning visuals or whatnot, but more his artistic soul that captivated me. Because of that I feel like I can understand him, just like I can understand Namjoon though I’d never be able to reach such intellectual heights like him.

In my opinion, if there is a romantic couple within BTS, the most likely option would be Jimin and Taehyung. I’m not basing my opinion on any concerts or things like RUN since I’m aware that BTS are idols and places/events/shows such as those are more like theatre in that they are playing a role, playing up certain things to get a reaction out of the crowd and alike, or is being used as a way too push or highlight a certain member or members.

Any time I see Tae and Jimin interact with each other I get this feeling that they have some kind of mystery about them, that they’re like + and -, two very different people, and yet there’s this something about them that brings them together. Perhaps it is simply the sole fact that they are so different that makes them so intriguing not only to each other, but also for me. Observing all the materials we have of these seven years, it’s been interesting to see how they’ve changed both physically and mentally, how they went from being these ‘bad boys’ at the beginning of BTS career and how that transformed over time until they became the boys we know today. I think over the years they simply got the chance to explore and find and be who they are, together but also as separate people. Looking at Tae, he’s changed a lot over the years and I don’t mean it in the sense of “he became quiet”, but rather that his mannerisms and personality changed, that he got to show more of himself and who he wants to be and as who he wants to be seen by others. Same goes for Jimin, who in the first years struggled with being one person until he finally started to evolve into who he wanted to be and simply became Jimin instead of whatever others wanted, which he even praised himself for.

And along with that I also think they got to explore parts of themselves they might’ve not even been quite aware of being there at first, in terms of what they mean for them as individuals but also as two people together. In that regard I think they’ve changed the most out of all the members, and really, in such a way, only they have visibly changed in such a way. They got to explore deep parts of themselves and live them together.

“I’m from the moon, you’re from the stars”, as in they are both different, not from earth, but they got the chance to be different together.

There’s also the fact that they themselves call each other soulmates is for me very intriguing since I understand soulmates as either two people being very similar to each other (the same mentality, interests, tastes etc) or two people who found their romantic other half that, in a sense, completes them. I don’t see vmin as the former, since they are so different, but I think they’ve simply found and worked so hard with together to meet each other on another level which led them to become the second. That’s my theory and my feeling.

I adore how, even though they get so comparatively little screen time together in the last few years, whenever we do see them interact with each other their interactions are always so different, so full of warmth, softness and gentleness, romantic even, and fully of mutual respect. It’s endearing to me how shy Tae seems to get whenever Jimin shows him more affection on camera. I applaud Tae for how he showcases his feelings for Jimin so “openly” on Weverse through the pictures and posts he makes that involve him, though most don’t want to see it as such.

Them saying that it’s enough for them to look at each other and they immediately know what the other is thinking, how they basically almost have conversations with each other just through looking into each others eyes, honestly made my heart sing with cuteness and fondness.

These are my feelings when I see them. When it comes to more substantial reasonings as to why I think they may be real and why I think so, that’s a post for another time since it’ll take much more preparations and thoughts. But at the same time I want to say that I’m one of those people who thinks that if not vmin and not namjin, then none of the ships are real in a romantic sense. In a friendship way, all of them are real. But that too is also something for another post in the future.

The most important thing in it all for me was Tae stating that 95z is love, but that, too, is something for another time.

Admin 1, who ships vmin and namjin

I’d like to preface my part of this by saying that while I do ship vmin and namjin, I’m not the kind of person who will try to find definitive proof that they are real (especially if that means overanalyzing the most minute interactions and split second touches because, to me, that feels obsessive and invasive and not every one second shared glance must mean anything) and proceed to force my opinion onto others, or get into fights why my ships are more valid than someone else’s. That’s not who I am and that’s not the kind of experience I’m looking for while being ARMY. At the end of the day while I do believe that there are good chances (and reasons to believe so) that these ships are real, vmin probably more than namjin, I won’t insist on that having to be true and I also don’t really care all that much either? It’s their private lives after all, so for me this is all mostly for fun and for discussions, if that makes sense. Should one day any member of my ships come forward and say he’s in a relationship with someone outside of my ship, I don’t be angry or disappointed, I’ll be happy for them regardless.

That being said, similar to Admin 2, whenever I see Jimin and Taehyung together, there’s just this special something about them that just does it for me. I’ll admit that when I first got into BTS and became ARMY, I didn’t care about shipping at all. It’s not that I wasn’t familiar with RPS, I’ve read plenty of that as young teen, but rather that I was so enamored with their music and friendships that those simply seemed more important to me. With time I started to pay more attention to the individual dynamics and bonds within the group and soon I realized that Jimin and Taehyung stood out to me without a question or doubt. I’ll admit that I do read fanfic, so out of curiosity I checked out the other maknae ships (the actual ships as well as their fanfic counterparts) and came to the conclusion that they didn’t have that something for me, felt more like brothers, and that I kept on going back to vmin every time.

There’s this sense of belonging (to each other) I feel when I watch Jimin and Taehyung together, how they’ve grown together over the years, their bond going through phases and changes and how they only seemed to get closer and closer, even during the time when people claimed vmin were over and we were in a drought. I look at them, their interactions, the fondness in their eyes and the gentleness with which they treat each other and I think this is it. It’s so easy to see how much they care about each other, and how important they are for each other, I can’t help but love and admire it, and in the end it turned me into a vminie.

As for namjin, this one is a little less clear cut, perhaps. Something that hasn’t been mentioned yet is that I’m a Namjoon bias. He was the one who caught my attention first when I discovered BTS and he’s been my bias ever since, so I enjoyed seeing his interactions with the other members, how he has this mutual respect with them yet how when he says something, everyone else listens because he’s the leader. Plus, his mind is honestly the greatest and most wondrous thing. Anyway. I adore the dynamics that Namjoon has with the other members and how different they are, but the one he shares with Seokjin has caught my attention that little bit more and stood out to me more, just like with vmin.

Namjoon and Seokjin have been close ever since Seokjin joined BigHit, at first simply because they needed to figure out how to get the rest of the group to listen to Namjoon despite him not being the eldest, and then simply because they liked it. I’ll never forget that video they made together around christmas time which ends with Seokjin singing All I Want For Christmas Is You. The date vibe of that video? Off the charts. Over the years as they’ve matured, so did their bond, and while they’re certainly not as clingy and touchy with each other anymore as they used to be after debut, it makes their interactions and little ways of showing affection for each other that much more special.

Their mutual respect, admiration and influence on each other is also something that’s always drawn me to them, how some things Seokjin told Namjoon years ago stuck with him for years and he found ways to incorporate them into his philosophy and ending ments at concerts showing how even these small things affected him, touched him. There’s also things like Namjoon helping Seokjin with his music, the way they praise each other and get shy about it, or tiny details such as Namjoon holding Seokjin’s hand and trying to hide it from the camera behind Namjoon’s thigh (which obviously didn’t work out since we did end up seeing it). It’s these little things about them that do it for me, how when they hug it simply feels so special, so meaningful, the way Namjoon looks so fondly and proudly at Seokjin sometimes and vice versa, and how calm and also absolutely chaotic they are when they’re together. Brilliant.

So, as much as I’m a vminie, I’m certainly also a namjinist.

As for other ships, I’ll call myself a Sope enthusiast since those two together definitely have a certain something about them too. At the end of the day though I love BTS, will always be OT7 and their true family type bond, as they have called it themselves as such many of times, will always stand above all else for me.

#vmin #namjin #jimin #taehyung #namjoon #seokjin #bangtan sonyeondan #BTS #why we ship who we ship

42 notes · View notes

ballerinaroy · 4 years

Text

the girlfriend experince

This was written for accio_broom the Romione Discord secret Santa (go and check out the other fics in the collection). I hope you enjoy and have a very happy holiday!

On Ao3

Since Hermione had stepped foot off the train, they hadn’t gotten a moment to themselves. Christmas shopping, popping in at her parents, dinner with his own. At long last they’d been able to escape fleeing back to his and Harry’s flat, where, miraculously they found themselves alone.

For some reason Ron had worried that he should be nervous for the first moment it was just the two of them but found that there was no need for it. They’d opened the bottle of wine they’d picked out from the shop across the street, kicking off their shoes and made straight for the cushy sofa Bill and Fleur had donated to them. He let out a long breath, sinking into the cushion and stuffing a pillow behind him.

“Some holiday this has been,” Hermione commented, sitting down beside him. “I feel like I haven’t stopped running since I got off the train.”

He put his arm around her and she sighed, leaning into him. “Is now a good time to bring up the surprise party tonight?”

Hermione looked at him, horrified. “There isn’t-”

He grinned, “Nah, but I told mum there was so I could get you to myself for a few hours.”

“How chivalrous of you,” she said dryly, snuggling back down and taking a sip of her wine.

Ron smiled, picking up a strand of her hair and twisting it around his fingers. “Your hair’s getting long.”

“Slughorn did a unit on beauty potions the last week of term,” Hermione told him. “Our final assignment was to make our own.”

“You did a nice job,” Ron said appreciatively.

Hermione gave a mischievous look. “Smell it.”

He gave her a strange look but obliged, leaning down and sniffing her scalp. She pulled away, looking at him as he pondered the abnormal scent.

“Can you guess?”

“I don’t really—hang on-“ He frowned, leaning in again. “It smells like you only, a little spicy, like spice cake and, snow and-?“

He struggled, feeling an odd sense of de-ja-vu.

“The effect might have worn off a little,” Hermione said, bringing her hair up to her nose and sniffing, a content smile spreading across her face.

He smelled her a third time and it dawned on him. “Hermione, did you put amortentia in your potion?”

Hermione grinned up at him. “Sort of.”

“Oh that’s brilliant,” he said. “Why hasn’t anyone thought of it before?”

“It won’t keep for very long,” she explained. “I think only a week or so, it’d be pretty expensive to make on your own.”

“Brilliant,” he said again, sniffing the top of her head once more and pressing a kiss to it.

Hermione giggled, tilting up her face to kiss him which he obliged, his right hand against her face, stroking her cheek.

“I wish our whole holiday could be like this,” Ron murmured against her lips several minutes later.

“Mmh,” Hermione agreed, opening her eyes and brushing back his fringe. “Tomorrow should be fun.”

“Your parent's Christmas Eve party always a hit?” he inquired.

“Well,” Hermione shrugged. “It’s catered and you’ll be there.”

“And you know how well I get along with doctors.”

“It won’t just be doctors,” Hermione told him. “My great-aunt and cousins are coming into town. They’ve been dying to meet you.”

“Have they?” Ron asked. “That tall, charming ginger you’ve been talking about.”

“Mmh, and the word rude never came up,” Hermione told him. “Not even once.”

He rolled his eyes and Hermione grinned. “What about your Christmas?”

“You’ve been to my Christmas,” Ron told her.

“I haven’t,” she argued.

“Three years ago-“

“That was at Grimmauld Place, that doesn’t count,” Hermione said and her lips pouted a little as she begged. “Oh, come on, give me the ‘girlfriend coming to your parents for the first time experience.”

“Experience?” Ron asked doubtfully.

“Pretend I’m not me-“

“I’d rather not-“

“-and tell me what it’s going to be like,” Hermione said, pouting. “Please, I’ve never done the holiday at the Burrow. Warn me what I’m in for.”

Ron sighed, “Alright, but only if you bring me a refill.”

She rolled her eyes but obliged him, summoning the half-empty bottle from the kitchen and refilled both of their glasses. They clinked their glasses together and Hermione looked up at him admiringly.

“Alright, alright,” he said when she refused to kiss him. “Holidays at the Burrow. Well, the place is about as loud as a place can me, but you already know that. I’ve got five older brothers and each one is more competitive than the last.”

“Five?” she asked him.

“Bill’s the oldest, and his wife Fleur thinks she’s a looker-“

“Thinks?”

“Been stalking my family in the paper’s have you?” Ron asked, getting into it at last and enjoying himself.

“What can I say, had to make sure I got the looker?” Hermione said and winked at him. “Which I did.”

Ron rolled his eyes at her. “Sure, sure. Then there’s Charlie, he works with dragons. Got hair longer than my sister’s. At some point over the weekend mum’ll try and chop if off and it’ll be a whole thing. He’ll act pissed but he doesn’t mind being tended after like that.”

“Percy is next. Bit of a prat. We should really come up with a signal to rescue one another, otherwise, he’ll corner you half the night. He always acts like he’s above us, but when it comes down to chess or cards he’ll get dirty with the rules to make sure he wins.”

“Sounds like a nightmare to grow up with.”

“You’ve no idea,” Ron said dramatically. “Twins are next. George is pretty quiet these days. It’ll be rough for him. It’s alright if you don’t know what to say. He just needs someone to listen to him. Whenever he talks just, just talk with him for a minute. Show him that you care.”

He felt his eyes water up and gave his throat a moment to relax. Hermione said nothing, pressing a kiss to his chest and giving him a squeeze. At last, when he felt he could go on, they clinked together their glasses again and drank, giving Ron time to compose himself.

“Then there’s me,” Ron said, clearing his throat. “I’m alright, been in the papers quite a bit though, but you already know that, don’t you?”

“You’ve got an impressive resume,” Hermione said, going along with it.

“And last is my sister. Don’t let her age or size fool you though. She can drink any of us out from under the table. Got us all wrapped around her finger too, though she’ll never admit it.”

“Sound like your parents had quite their hands full raising all of you,” Hermione said.

“Marvelous job they did. Seven Gryffindors through and through. Brave till the end.” Ron said, taking another drink. “Oh and then there’s Harry. Brought him home a few years back and he’s never left. You didn’t hear this from me, but he’s mum’s favorite.”

“Is he now?”

“Eh, he’s earned it this year.” Ron told her. “Speaking of my mum, louder than the rest of us. Had to be through, to keep us all in line. She’s heard lots about you though, so she’ll be on her best behavior. Dad’s more fun, he likes to tinker with muggle things and tell us stories. They’re a good team, raised us right and are still in love despite their house nearly being burned down once a week.”

“They sound lovely.”

“They are,” Ron said fondly.

“So how about the holidays?” Hermione asked, “What should I expect?”

“Hmmm, you’ll wake up to presents at the foot of your bed,” Ron began. “So if you sneak into my room you’ll have to sneak back. I’ve learned to get away with a lot but I think finding a bird in my bed might just get me on the naughty list.”

Hermione giggled. “Can’t have that.”

“And then there’s brunch in pajamas, lounging around the house. We have a big meal in the afternoon. Mum’ll be in the kitchen all morning preparing it. There’s no telling who will drop by. Mum and dad invite everyone they know so everyone will have a place to come if they need it. Year before last we had the minister.”

“Did you?” Hermione feigned surprise.

“And only mostly to talk to Harry,” Ron gave her a wink. “If the snow is good we’ll have a fight in the afternoon, before dinner. And then it’s time around the fire for the Celestina Warbeck concert with a cup of hot cocoa and then off to bed.”

“Sounds lovely,” Hermione said with a yawn.

“It will be,” he said with a smile. “Ready for bed?”

Hermione nodded, “Pathetic, aren’t we? Not even ten and we’re tucking in.”

“Now now, Hermione I didn’t say anything about sleeping.” He told her, standing up and offering her a hand. She bit her bottom lip and let him pull her up.

“Oh?”

He looked her up and down as she pressed against him. “I’ve been dreaming about this for weeks. Not a chance.”

“Well,” she said, looking a little breathless. “Let’s make the most of it.”

#roywrites #ROMIONE #romione fanfic

42 notes · View notes

welcometomy20s · 3 years

Text

July 2, 2021

HoloServer Quarterly Report

Usada Constructions - Buy

To understand the current position of UsaKen, we must look to its history. At first, UsaKen was a joke, a riff on Majima Constructions, a potemkin company only existing to serve the whims of the founder and CEO. Pekora’s project was sophisticated and massive, her pranks simply legendary. But out of the blue, Moona enters. The mutual awkwardness worked in their favor, in fact this will be a prevailing theme, what might seem like a highly dysfunctional group, actually turns the whole thing into strength.

The Rabbit and Moon theme didn’t hurt them either, and the idea of Usada Construction as an actual entity enters the public consciousness, especially as a point of comparison to the fledgling Akukin Constructions… although it could be said that Akukin was the remnant of Hololive Resistance in some sense. This led to the initial expansion with the hiring of Coco and Kiara… but again this was more of a joke, a fleeting thought before UsaKen was about to come on its own.

It was the Akukin Relay that really set the ball rolling. Not only did we have the fortuitous event of Kanata accepting a position in UsaKen before finding out she did get a callback from Akukin, it spurred Pekora into focusing on Minecraft, especially her gaming plans were dirtied by corporate pressure. Pekora started small, with her misbehaving cannon and putting out her petty anger onto Noel, but soon Pekora unveiled her grand plan, Pekoland, and immediately set out to organize the company as a whole.

By now, the company was fairly-sized. It added Botan and eventually Towa into the mix, although Botan is still technically an affiliate and Towa first came with revenge, before using the company as an opportunity to learn how to be evil. Now the company measured seven strong, although they were quite disparate, having members from all three branches and across three generations. This was quickly noticed and a discord server was made in response, which led to another group project immediately after Pekoland, which was already a pretty big project. Combined with Coco’s final innovation, the Summer Festival became an even bigger project in the end.

And it would be odd to think this would end soon. There’s an actual structure to things now, people can communicate and build on ideas and the whole thing seems pretty democratic, even with its autocratic start. And Summer Festival brought UsaKen into the center of Hololive narrative. UsaKen is now the de facto face of HoloServer, and perhaps even Hololive itself. People look at the former loner as the master organizer. Things only look up from here, which is worrisome, but there’s enough in UsaKen that I’m less worried than usual. UsaKen will always come out stronger in the end.

Akukin Constructions - Buy

Meanwhile, Akukin completely collapsed. It felt like Aqua would return from her Apex marathon, but it turns out prior and prep for the solo concert meant a month break is what she needed, therefore Akukin was without a leader for one more month.

Lamy and Nene managed with their own projects, but the rest kind of fell apart. But the Summer Festival changed all that. Just as Akukin Relay signalled Pekora a restructuring was needed, Summer Festival meant Akukin had to show up. So, the skit continued. During the Akukin Relay arc, the mysterious yet feisty boss with two second-in-command who actually runs the thing scheming and fretting was a hit, with a hint of blackness in its blasted scaffoldings. Now, the blackness is very much apparent. Aqua cannot let the failing company go, and has become vicious. Considering Marine's past, this works to their favor. Lamy and Nene would be their own thing. Roboco and Mel would pop in now and again. As for Iofi and Aki… well, I’m not sure.

Choco, which I deemed the liaison for Shiranui, which has a contractual relationship with Akukin, now liaisons for Oozora Group as well. Choco might be the next important person just because of that connection factor. Akukin might be a contracting company now, although Aqua would not be happy about where they stand now.

Oozora Group - Hold

I know that Oozora Constructions, now Oozora Group, is not a publicly traded company anymore, but I still suggest holding onto that now-worthless piece of paper. The problem with Oozora Constructions was that its story went nowhere. Korone’s house was interesting, but it rarely had an ending, since it required Korone to cooperate and that’s usually an awkward thing at best. Her other projects were half-baked, and most importantly Subaru never really had that recognition. She wanted to build a company but others laughed at the prospect. So Rushia lost faith and moved to UsaKen. Oozora was tanking before it started to fly. But Matsuri took grace and joined Oozora, at which point it became a group. It’s not like Matsuri and Luna, the other employee, haven’t been together, and Subaru was called Matsuri by Sora, so why not?

In the last report, I said Matsuri is more like a government employee than a free agent, and indeed it seems Oozora Group now acts like a governmental organization, with building a police station being the first undertaking after restructuring. This is actually not bad. Public utilities are dearly needed in HoloServer anyways, and Subaru acting as a public servant removes the desperation in her actions that would make interactions much more friendly and interesting. By falling, Subaru might have turned a corner.

Tangent - Using an extended analogy, when the age of giant reptiles was wiped out by a meteorite, there were small survivors, which we now know as birds. So, it looks like Coco’s legacy would also be held by birds, holotoris to be exact. To explain why, let’s look at the current functional part of Coco. Coco is the bridge that connects East to the West, not just in terms of language, but also in culture and mores. In that way, holotoris nicely distributes this responsibility. Subaru might be the best JP member after Haachama in terms of English comprehension, and she is quite cognizant of recent foreign perspectives as well… so she could be a good future ambassador. For Reine, her Indonesian teaching stream reminds me of Coco’s early streams. And Kiara’s Holotalk has been the counterweight to Coco’s meme review since it started… Not to mention, these three are the most extroverted of their respective branches.

Shiranui-Elite Conglomerate - Hold

SEC is an organization of my own creation, but it’s a useful one, because it fits the current situation well. To sum up, Elite Construction was starting to fall apart as Minecraft activities waned, one of the replacements was GTA V, and the three major players were Miko, Flare and Suisei. Their collab together was probably the highlight of the last quarter and gave us a bright spot during a time of troubles.

As Minecraft activities increased, due to PekoLand and HoloID mall and Mel and Roboco popping in and out, the connection before was starting to bore out in Minecraft. Shiranui was originally a contracting company, working with Akukin for example. Therefore it had a family business type, indeed the only other employee was an honorary one given to Flare’s wife, Noel. But a series of interactions with Polka and Choco led to this master and apprentice relationship, which was a major hit.

Flare, pardon the pun, was always the black sheep of the Hololive Fantasy. While the other four have something to stand out and something to back the flash (Pekora draws with her laughter and manic behavior which is backed up by her earnest shyness, Rushia draws from her yandere metal screams which backed up by her sincerity and fragility, Noel draws with her upper assets and ASMR which is backed up by her erogaki silliness and her charming singing, and Marine draws from her horny nature which is backed up by her wit and almost motherly wiseness), Flare never really landed a character. Indeed, Flare is a straight man through and through. Not quite a tsukkomi like Subaru or Kanata at times, since there is not that retorting arrogance the two can exhibit, as people call, Flare was your comfy older sister...

But the Western audience and this Polka relationship changed that. In the West, the fatherly figure has more of a distinct and prominent role, and Flare can emulate this pretty well. A dad is grounded and serious, but can be silly and childish at times. But the silly and childishness does not undercut his serious nature… and that goes well with Flare (perhaps even more so than Calli, who is on a goofier side of things). Therefore Flare could finally breathe and express herself. And the introduction of Miko and Suisei brings the crew into full focus. They are reminiscent of early UsaKen, except while UsaKen was disparate, SEC most closely resembles… well, a D&D party. With your typical silly arguments and trials leading to growth and so on.

Adding Marine or even Nene might disturb this. Flare is fine with the size and I am too. It’s not like there are any real pickings left anyway. Shiranui-Elite conglomeration have a long journey ahead of them, but a brighter future that goes along with it too.

Haachama Construction - Sell (but buy Watasheep)

It was inevitable. Haachama/Haato thing was not going to be settled soon. Haato barely finished the Coexist arc, getting the Anno disease in the process. It was pretty clear that the Haato/Haachama thing became overblown and unfitting to what Hololive was now.

But this leaves us with Watame, and Watame is in an interesting position. Watame is between a lot of companies now. With Shiranui-Elite, she is part of the four heavenly lords, and as Watasheep, she does the delivery of Menya Botan and KFP, both part of UsaKen, who inadvertently cornered the fast-food business. And she is part of the 4th Gen, who has come much closer due to the departure of Coco.

Watame has always made the safe choice, she revolutionized the server with her excellent Janken machine, but it was Kanata who became the seller. Watame might choose to leave herself out, since her Minecraft streams are kind of meant to be relaxing. The reason she deliberately chose to level her field, instead of building the sign outwards like the rest of the signs. So, perhaps nothing comes of this…

OkaKoro Constructions & Shirakami Forestry - Buy

This wave of HoloServer was so large that even the rarer visitors felt a need to visit. Flare has reached out to Okayu, who has pointed out the reason for her absence was the loss of her basement and Korone has followed interest in the server as well.

Fubuki returned to finish her massive sakura tree, of course she acts alone, but she has been increasingly open to hiring people, but it’s not sure if this will become reality. Perhaps if Akukin finally dissolves, there would be enough workforce…

Kureiji Constructions - Buy

Ollie had a roller coaster of three months… Like a burnt fuse, Ollie has had several physical problems… that didn’t stop her from doing math streams (there are precedents Yashiro and Gwelu being good examples) and returning recently with late contributions to the Summer Festival. Reine has been helping on the side as well…

Free Agents - Sell

There is not much of this category anymore. Anya is the One who does not play Minecraft, in fact her demeanor is quite different from anyone else. Ayame not only has been gone from Minecraft, she has been gone, period. She really just returned to streaming after about three weeks? Risu is the only one remotely available, but she has the gene of OkaKoro, which does not induce work ethics in Minecraft, no matter how skilled she is. (Her roller coaster MLG is still one of my favorite clips)

Overall, 2021 Q2 was the best of times and the worst of times. There was a lot of big progress and a lot of setbacks as well. It’s a deeply uncomfortable but adventurous position, as it always has been for HoloServer and HoloPro as a whole. Next quarter will be further accomplishments and further challenges, and the company and the personalities and the audience will bear it through it all, as they always have.

#hololive #quarterly report #minecraft

9 notes · View notes

cdt12345 · 4 years

Note

I just finished answering one of these and now I wanna know yours. Top 10 straight OTPs?

1.) Ben and Leslie - Parks and Recreation

If this was my OTPs list, they’d be second after Gallavich, but since this is straight couples, they have to be my number one. Amy Poehler and Adam Scott had great chemistry. Adam Scott played a lot of creepy/bad guys before this. So, when he showed up in Pawnee, I didn’t know what to make of him when he came in at the end of season 2. Pretty quickly I realized I was not only going to love the character of Ben Wyatt but we finally found Leslie Knope’s perfect match! I’ll never forget the moment I knew I was going to ship them. It was at the Freddy Spaghetti concert when Ben helped Leslie after he was against doing the concert in the first place. As soon as I saw Ben give Leslie that look as she walked away, I knew I was all in with this ship. That’s all it took! Leslie finally met someone who got her, admired her, was in awe of her, and was so supportive of her and her ambitions. They were both willing to put their jobs at risk by making their relationship known. And if you know Leslie Knope, her job is her life. Leslie’s love for Ben’s butt is also something I loved. Their love for each other is so beautiful and one of my favorite things about this amazing show.

2.) Ava and Boyd - Justified

Joelle Carter and Walton Goggins did amazing work together onscreen. Ava and Boyd Crowder did not have the most conventional start to their romantic relationship, seeing as Ava was married to Boyd’s brother. For me, that is a deal-breaker! I know they’re not blood relatives but it’s still weird to me when in-laws get together. In the pilot, we learn Ava has just killed her husband in self-defense and Boyd was supposed to be killed off in that episode. The powers that be, loved both Joelle and Walton so much they brought them back for more and they were series regulars for the rest of the series run. To keep Ava part of the storyline, they had Boyd staying at Ava’s house in season 2. It all evolved from there. I had no intention of shipping these two during season 1, but by season 2, I was all about Ava and Boyd getting together. They were the true definition of a power couple. They even had matching bullet scares on their chest! They stood side by side as a strong force against anyone who tried to overpower them or intimidate them in their growing criminal enterprise. Boyd really saw Ava, treated her with respect, and saw her as his equal. They had a long history, even went to the same high school together. I always love a couple who has known each other since they were kids. I never thought I would root for current or former in-laws, but it was hard not to fall in love with them.

3.) Jess and Nick - New Girl

I knew I was going to ship them from the very first episode. They are everything I love in a good ship, complete opposites who bring out the best in each other, who are also friends. Over the years, any time Jess would describe her perfect man, she was always describing Nick without realizing it. Once she was asked what her dream guy would be, and she said Walter Matthau in Grumpy Old Men and Nick fits that perfectly. He really is like a grumpy old man. There was nothing these two wouldn’t do for each other. One example of this was when Jess burns her finger on a cigarette lighter in the car and Nick puts his finger in the cigarette lighter so they would be in the same amount of pain. Who even does that?! I was so happy when they finally had their first kiss and when they officially got together. Those are some of my favorite episodes when they were finally dating. Any time they dated anyone else it became even more clear how much better they are together. They never fit with anyone else as well as they fit together. They really were perfect for each other.

4.) Corey and Topanga - Boy Meets World

Corey and Topanga are the OG’s of childhood sweethearts on TV. They’ve known each other their whole lives and were very believable in their genuine love for each other. It’s not always easy to believe that people who get married that young can make it work, but these two always seemed to defy those odds. They got married during their sophomore year of college. Today I would be like whoa that’s too soon to get married! But they felt so right together, I believe I would still think they made the right choice. I may be biased because I grew up watching this show and I was even younger than them at that time, but it always felt like they were meant to be. I still remember what a big deal their wedding was. My friends and I were so excited about that episode. They clearly did do the right thing because the show came back as Girl Meets World, which was more focused on their daughter than them, so of course, I wasn’t planning on watching all that. The only good thing to come out of that reboot, for me, was to get confirmation that Corey and Topanga were still together and had two kids.

5.) Arnold and Helga - Hey Arnold!

This was a very one-sided crush on Helga’s part for years! This was another show I grew up on. I shipped them so hard because Helga was obsessively in love with Arnold. It definitely wasn’t a healthy obsession, but she really loved him. It was hard not to root for her. She fell in love with him when he was the first to notice her and be nice to her on their first day of preschool. A part of me could identify with her at that time in my life. I was in 5th grade and was experiencing my first love too. She was always so mean to Arnold because she was terrified for anyone to even suspect she had a major crush on him. The best way to describe Arnold is through Helga’s own words, he’s “a funny little football-headed kid with a good heart but no sense of reality”. Helga was realistic and tough but very poetic and sweet in private. In 2017, when Hey Arnold! The Jungle Movie came out, I was really hoping she would finally come clean with Arnold about her feelings. It FINALLY happened! That was 21 years in the making. Talk about slow burn!

6.) Tiffani and Jake - California Dreams

Jake and Tiffani are one of my very first ships ever. They were high school students who were in a band called California Dreams together. They were like night and day. She was the surfer type, who was positive, sunny, and friendly. Whereas Jake was a biker type who scared everyone. They were even too scared to let him audition for the band. He played guitar and would sometimes sing and write some of their songs. He wasn’t the main singer of the band, but he would sing every once in a while. She played the bass and would sometimes sing too. They did have a breakup that was heartbreaking for me. He dated their friend Lorena for a short time, and it felt so forced and didn’t work at all. Again, I could be biased because I love Jake and Tiffani, but Jake himself and Lorena realized they didn’t work either. That’s when Jake realized he was still very much in love with Tiffani, and they got back together. This show also had the best theme song ever! I sing it every single time I hear it and when I do hear it, it’s stuck in my head all day.

7.) Monica and Chandler - Friends

I always preferred Monica and Chandler over Ross and Rachel. They were never on and off like Ross and Rachel, which would get tiresome. We never had to deal with that with Monica and Chandler. Obviously, they are friends and know each other so well that it was easy for them to get through anything because of it.

8.) Castle and Beckett - Castle

Richard Castle and Kate Beckett had amazing chemistry, even after the actors themselves were no longer getting along behind the scenes. I am amazed at how they were still able to be so believable at being very much in love with each other. Castle, a best-selling mystery novelist, and Beckett, a New York City homicide detective. Castle is inspired by Beckett and she becomes his muse for a new book he is writing. Castle uses his connections with the mayor to force the police to let him shadow Beckett. Their personalities clash in the beginning but they soon find their groove and become friends and great partners at solving crimes. The will they, won’t they was excruciating at times but paid off when they finally got together.

9.) Sabrina and Harvey - Sabrina The Teenage Witch

Sabrina and Harvey were such a cute couple. I already went into this show knowing they were meant to be because of the Sabrina comic books. Harvey was always the boyfriend. So, when Harvey left the show after season 4, I was surprised and saddened. Especially, since Harvey had finally learned about her powers. He did guest star in season 5 but was brought back for the last two seasons. I really loved when he came back because Sabrina and Harvey’s relationship was so much better after he knew about her powers. They didn’t get back together and were only friends but whenever things got complicated, he was there to help her now that he knew she was a witch. She didn’t have to hide who she really was or lie to him anymore and I really loved how that changed their relationship. Sabrina was dating someone else at this time and was going to marry this other guy, but she doesn’t go through with it. For once I can actually say Sabrina and Harvey are soulmates and really mean it! Remember she is a witch and has a soul stone and Harvey was given one too. Harvey is waiting for Sabrina outside the church when she comes out and they kiss. Their soul stones drop to the ground and fit perfectly at 12:36pm, the exact time they first met seven years ago.Then they drive off together in his motorcycle.

10.) Kelly and Zack - Saved by The Bell

Who didn’t grow up in the 90′s and wasn’t shipping Zack and Kelly? I thought they were the most gorgeous couple I had ever seen. Saved by The Bell: The College Years wasn’t a great show, but I was happy to see Zack and Kelly went to the same college, and eventually, we got to see them get married in a TV movie with Saved by The Bell: Wedding in Las Vegas.

#parks and recreation #leslie knope #ben wyatt #ava crowder #boyd crowder #justified #new girl #jessica day #nick miller #boy meets world #hey arnold #california dreams #friends #castle #caskett #sabrina the teenage witch #saved by the bell

14 notes · View notes

medea10 · 3 years

Text

My Review of Zombieland Saga REVENGE

Yes, Franchouchou has come back after a two and a half year hiatus.

HISTORY: Zombieland Saga is an idol show.

I have already cut my readership in half with that one sentence alone. But this is no ordinary idol show! A maniacal necromancer named Kotarou Tatsumi brings seven girls back from the dead. A former idol from the 1980’s (Junko), a former idol from the 2010’s (Ai), a child star from the 2010’s (Lily), a girl with idol aspirations from 2008 (Sakura), a former biker gang chick from 1997 (Saki), a courtesan from the 19th century (Yugiri), and Yamada Tae! There’s no describing what exactly Yamada Tae is but we don’t question it as she’s best girl.

Kotarou brought these seven girls back to life in order to save the Saga area and revitalize it. Throughout the first 12 episodes, we watch these girls get the hang of being alive again after so long and become an idol group. With Kotarou’s make-up skills, he’s able to fool nearly everybody that these girls are living, breathing idols. Almost everybody! At the end of the series, we get one guy who caught on about Lily, Ai, and Junko. But enough about that! Let’s see how successful Franchouchou has gotten since we last left the series.

REVENGE: So this sequel begins with the girls doing odd-jobs trying to earn as much money as they possibly can. Normally, the girls would do odd gigs that Kotarou was able to conjure up and that’s been good publicity for their group Franchouchou. However, they came into some money problems when they gambled and lost. It’s no doubt that their performance in the 12th episode was a banger and gave Franchouchou a boost in the idol scene. However, they aimed too high by renting out a big amphitheater to have a concert and only 1.6% capacity was filled. So the performance that night was a crash and burn type of thing. The after-effect put the girls in the hole (money wise) and Kotarou spends his days getting drunk at bars.

Seriously, look at this guy! He looks like a drunk, fourth season Eren Yeager. Kinda hard watching Kotarou looking so sad, pathetic, and drunk! It wasn’t until the girls had to perform at a metal concert arena that Kotarou got a kick in the pants. The fool arrives to the performance hella late, screaming for an encore when the audience is totally not vibing for one. And the girls end up singing while the audience goes in (for a lack of a better term) a Blues Brothers style rumble. The important thing is that Kotarou is feeling better and is ready to send his little zombie songbirds out to save the Saga prefecture.

Throughout the season, we follow the girls of Franchouchou as they regain some popularity they obtained last season. Will they do it? In the first 4 episodes, the group gained their own radio show and Ai’s old group (before she died) Iron Frill considered them as rivals. I think they’ll be okay!

BUT WAIT…: What about that photographer fella we saw all last season? He was quickly catching onto Ai, Junko, and Lily looking a little too close in resemblance to the girls that died years ago. Slowly throughout the series, we see him get closer to the truth.

NEW IDOL?: Oh God, did Kotarou commit taboo once again by bringing another girl back from the dead?

No…It was sadly much worse.

While at a public bathhouse, a girl (not wearing her prescription glasses) entered the men’s side, slipped on some soap, and was knocked unconscious. Thinking she died, Kotarou brings her body back to the girls (who aren’t wearing their makeup) saying this girl will be #7 in Franchouchou. And just like I said, she is not dead and now she knows that the idol group she loves are dancing zombies.

Kotarou is truly fucking up royally this season.

Anyways, this is Maimai! She’s a fan of Franchouchou and ends up becoming a temporary member of the group as #7 (for the episode). And, she’s voiced by Kana Hanazawa! If you don’t know who she is by now, blow me. It’s a little scary knowing that there’s one person out there that knows about the secret. But Maimai is much too loyal a fan to ruin something for everyone and is totally chill about her favorite idol group really being zombies.

THE TWO UNSOLVED MYSTERIES: As much as many of us loved the first season to Zombieland Saga, there were two characters we wished got more play and we knew a little more about. Yugiri and Yamada Tae! Tae-chan has been the enigmatic idol from day one. And due to her possible mental disability, we might never know. However, in one episode we do see her stopping off at a cemetary and I do believe that was her own grave.

As for Yugiri, even the detective can’t dig up info on her. She was around in the late 1800s or the Meiji era and there’s only one known photo in existence of Yugiri before her death. This season, we got a two-episode saga to bring us the good word on Saga and its importance. We got a bit of a history lesson about the Saga prefecture during the Meiji era and even what it was like before then. And yes, we did learn how Yugiri died and her connection to Saga. It was quite sad, but definitely one of the best episodes of the series.

BEST SONG: Didn’t think I’d have one for this franchise.

Saga Jihen from episode 9.

Nuff said.

ENDING: Well, we learned some extra details on what happened during the fall and rise of Franchouchou. This mostly has to do with Kotarou’s gamble with booking a huge arena for the girls to perform in. First of all, this arena was the place of Ai’s death. You member! When she was electrocuted right there on stage! Second of all, they didn’t sell the tickets until the day of the concert. What was that end result again? 1.6% capacity filled! Even in Covid-19 times, that’s fucking small. Granted, the audience was full of those memorable fans from season one including Saki’s friend’s daughter, Lily’s father, and the two metal jackasses. But still, not a good! The girls hit a brick wall and felt embarrassed. This was the worst moment for these girls (aside from dying once). After the disasterous event, they were millions of yen in debt, they’re running out of essentials for the house, and Kotarou has gone on a two-month drinking binge. It was then that they decided to do makeup themselves and go out in the world to earn a living and eventually pay off the debt.

Thankfully, they were able to get out of debt and regained their popularity throughout Saga and further. Saki has managed to get a radio show. Iron Frill (Ai’s old group) sees Franchouchou as a worthy rival. Lily gained a lot of fame in a televised competition. So what’s next? Kotarou apologized to Franchouchou for his big mistake the previous year and him spiraling out of control. Seconds later, he announces that their revenge will be to perform at the very same arena that fucked up their career the year prior.

Boy, you do NOT learn your lesson, do you?!

More trouble is on the rise as that reporter who caught on about the girls being zombies has confronted Kotarou. We finally circled back to the final scene from season one. This guy has caught on to the fact that the girls of Franchouchou resemble girls that died. The only one that he couldn’t dig up dirt on was Yugiri. Possibly because the only known evidence for existence is a photo at the bar! What’s more, he has a sneaking suspicion that the girls of Franchouchou are all zombies. In a prior episode, the reporter snapped a picture at the right time exposing Yamada Tae’s head rolling around on the ground. Dude is ready to go public with the story of the girls of Franchouchou being zombies resurrected from the dead unless Kotarou pulls the plug on everything. Kotarou simply said that the girls will get their revenge and will perform at the arena.

And then…a storm hit Saga!

There was a lot of damage around town. And worst off was Kotarou’s place, as it was ripped from its foundation, thrown into the sea, and crumbled into nothing after coming ashore. Worst of all, the special makeup the girls use to hide their zombie state was in that wreckage. Meanwhile, Kotarou spent several days trapped in a bar with the bar owner and nearly drowned. The girls ended up in a safety shelter with nearly the entire Saga prefecture. The good thing is because they’re town celebrities that they were given a top floor to themselves for privacy. The bad thing is that they’ve been here for days and their makeup is starting to come off, exposing zombies. And to make matters worse, that nosy reporter who knows the girls are zombies is also staying at the shelter (though the girls don’t know he knows). The girls decided to use Junko’s doll-crafting paintset to make masks to hide behind. That lasted only five seconds while trying to entertain the children of the shelter.

This is it. The girls are exposed as zombies.

Actually, the kids and parents thought this was part of the act and thought Franchouchou was lifting up the spirits of the arena. And in comes Kotarou just in time! Man, right under the wire. Now we’re like a few days from this planned concert and Saga is still recovering from the huge storm. Morale is quite low and it’s starting to look like a worse outcome for Franchouchou’s revenge than what happened one year ago. Saki used her platform on the radio to reach all of her viewers to see if they could try to come to the arena for their concert that is now a charity concert. So will this concert be a big success or a bigger flop than last year?

Actually, the arena was packed with people. Fans we’ve met in season one and new characters we met this season were even in attendance. Lily’s father ended up clearing away a lot of the debris so that concert goers could get through. Even Iron Frill (Ai’s old group) came in attendance! The concert was a huge success! And can I say that I’m really enjoying Yamada Tae’s Freddie Mercury impression on stage.

Don’t think you’re that clever, Zombieland Saga. We all know!

Yes, the concert was perfect! A great revenge! They even made Kotarou (a grown-ass man) cry. Even the reporter is willing to keep his trap shut (for now) about the girls being zombies. And best of all, NO ONE CAUGHT COVID-19! Yeah, I have to bring that up. The date of the concert was March 8th, 2020. Ahem. March. 2020. But yeah, everything went great. Perfect ending for Zombieland Saga Reven…

AND THEN AN ALIEN MOTHERSHIP COMES IN AND ZAPS THE AREA!

Huh?!

Who wrote that in the script? Some jerkass from Gainax?!

The last 15 seconds of Zombieland Saga leaves us with some sort of unidentified flying object zapping the area. Only Zombieland Saga can get away with this shit. Well folks, let’s see what’s in store for season three, Zombieland Saga: Zombies in Space or Sagapendence Day Zomb-Trek: Deep Space Seven.

Yeah, I know nothing has been greenlit or announced yet, but you know Studio Mappa has something up their sleeves with that ending. Once again, I enjoyed Zombieland Saga’s charm. I didn’t know if there was much more they could offer us after the first season’s stories, like learning how the girls died, Sakura’s past, and especially Lily’s backstory. This season, I wish there was more Yamada Tae. Come on guys, we still don’t know how she died or anything about her past! And what’s up with Yamada Tae being buried next to Sakura? Did they know each other before passing away? I want some answers! But I was blown away when it came to Yugiri’s saga and the tale of Saga itself. We got a literal history lesson about what Saga was once, what it became after a long struggle, the pain some folks went to in order to keep Saga thriving, and all leading up to where we are now.

This was a fun season. I had a lot more fun with the music this season than the previous one. Yeah, believe it or not I liked the songs Franchouchou sang this season than last season. Never a dull moment, especially with Kotarou! Yeah, his crazy-ass was totally there making absolutely no fucka sense. Take that competition Lily entered.

What the fuck was Kotarou doing? That was an epic fail on so many levels.

Well folks, whenever season three or whatever sequel may come, I’m hoping for more information involving Yamada Tae. And you know what else was severely missing from this season, Kotarou’s past with Sakura. I didn’t forget that flashback from season one and those couple of seconds this season aren’t enough to satisfy my hunger. Those are the two things I would like to know more about in whatever comes of the franchise. Otherwise, great time had by all!

Once more, if you are not a fan of idol shows, this is the only one I would highly recommend Zombieland Saga. Crunchyroll has both seasons available for streaming. FUNimation is now dubbing the second season as we speak.

#anime review #zombieland saga #zombieland saga revenge #yamada tae #kotarou tatsumi #saki nikaidou #sakura minamoto #junko konno #ai mizuno #yugiri #lily hoshikawa

5 notes · View notes

worryinglyinnocent · 4 years

Text

Fic: Believe or Leave

AU-gust Day Thirteen: Rock Band AU Fandom: Once Upon A Time Pairing: Rumbelle

Rated: T

Summary: Belle is over the moon when she discovers that her favourite band is getting back together again for a final tour, and her life takes an interesting turn when she realises that one of the band’s reclusive members, Rum Gold, has been hiding out in her hometown.

Note: This fic is much, much longer than the other AU-gust fics as I’ve been working on it for a long time. It happened to fit this prompt so nicely, so I decided to press on and finally finish it.

Inspired by the concept of ‘Believe or Leave: The Magical Boyband’, which I am sure has been floating around the OUAT fandom for many a year since S2Ep5 aired.

Believe or Leave

If Belle was alarmed when Ariel raced into the library and skidded to a stop in front of the issue desk just before she careened into it, then she didn’t show it. This sort of behaviour was normal for Ariel. She did not visit the library very often, but when she did, it was usually in a state of high excitement or extreme temper.

Thankfully, this was one of the former occasions. Ariel was grinning from ear to ear and waving her phone around her head as if it was the discovery of the century, or she’d just used it to win a fortune. Considering the amount of prize-winning apps that she was signed up to, Belle wouldn’t have put it past her.

“Guess who’s about to make you the happiest person in the whole entire world?” she squealed, bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet as Belle switched on the ancient library computer, having to smack the monitor several times to get it to show a clear picture rather than one with pink and green lines going across it.

“Let me guess. You’ve won three million on that ridiculous pinata bingo app and you’re giving it all to me to refit the library with state-of-the-art computer equipment?” With a final, particularly violent, wallop, the screen sorted itself out and Belle gave a sigh of satisfaction, settling herself in her seat and logging on.

Ariel just rolled her eyes.

“No, although I promise that if I ever do win three million, you will not be calling my pinata bingo app ridiculous, and I will certainly give you some of it to get a new computer. I have other good news. Far better news than that.”

Considering the state of the library’s ancient infrastructure, Belle didn’t think that anything could be better news than the funds for a complete refit, but she knew that her and Ariel’s priorities were not the same and she said nothing.

“Here.” Ariel tapped her phone and handed it over, showing one of the celebrity gossip sites that she subscribed to. “That ought to put a smile on your face and send all thoughts of malfunctioning computer equipment to the back of your mind for the next ten minutes at least.”

Belle read the article. Then she read it again. Then she stared at the headline for a good three minutes without speaking. Possibly without even breathing.

Believe or Leave to reform for official farewell tour.

Believe or Leave had formed a fundamental part of Belle’s college years. She had gone to every concert she could afford to get to. Their music had been the soundtrack to her exams, her graduation, and the frantic job-hunting afterwards. Belle had always been more enamoured with them than Ariel had, but true to form, her friend had gone along with her strange obsession with the band and had dutifully replied to all of Belle’s incoherent messages of despair and rage when they had suddenly broken up seven years ago, all three members going their separate ways, with two of them going on to moderately successful solo careers and one vanishing into obscurity.

Belle had kept up with Jefferson Milliner and Vic Whale, but she had always privately been of the opinion that they were stronger together than they were on their own, and that the strongest element of the band was the one that no-one had heard of for years, the elusive Rum Gold.

Jefferson Milliner and Vic Whale of Believe or Leave team up for farewell tour seven years after band’s unceremonious split… “This is not a reunion, but after Believe or Leave left the music scene so suddenly, we finally wanted to give the fans some closure…” When asked if Rum Gold would be joining them, Milliner remained tight-lipped. “We’d love it if he were to come back, and we’ve tried to get in touch with him. Never say never,”

“Belle? Earth to Belle?” Ariel gently took her phone back out of Belle’s grip and waved a hand in front of her face. “Oh dear. I’ve blown her brains out with the news. The library will have to remain closed today. Belle’s in a boy-band induced stupor.”

“They’re not a boy-band,” Belle muttered. “They’re a man-band.”

Ariel grinned. “I knew that would snap you out of it. So, are you happy? Or are you still too gobsmacked to feel any kind of functional emotion?”

Belle nodded, which she knew wasn’t the correct way to answer an either-or question.

“That’s… wow.”

“I know that however much you might protest, you’ve never got over your love for them.”

It was true. Belle still had all her ticket stubs from their concerts, and she still had all her worn-out CDs of every album they’d released, as well as all of the tracks digitally. They were a comfort, a reminder of a time that seemed so long ago when she’d been young and somewhat more carefree than she was at the moment. Back when she hadn’t needed to worry about library computers dying and possibly taking out the power grid to the entire town.

“It’s a shame that they haven’t been able to get back in touch with Rum,” Ariel said. “You know that he’s supposed to live locally, right?”

Of course Belle knew. When the opportunity to work in Storybrooke had come up, she had jumped at the chance, knowing that it was the place where Believe or Leave had been born, three young men in a garden shed in a backwater Maine town making music. It was that whimsical connection to the band that had kept her here even when she knew that there would be positions in Boston or even Augusta that would pay better and have infinitely better equipment than the things she was forced to use in her position here. Even after the break-up, she’d become so used to life in a small town that she didn’t really want to return to Boston. It felt like giving up, in a way.

Believe or Leave hadn’t stayed in Storybrooke, of course. Once fame and fortune had found them, they’d moved out to Boston, then to New York, then out to Los Angeles. Vic and Jefferson had stayed out in California, but rumour had it that Rum had returned to his roots.

Belle wasn’t sure how much truth there was in the rumours. Storybrooke was not all that large a town, and she was certain that she would have tripped over him before now. Then again, sometimes it was difficult to recognise people in settings that were unfamiliar. She was used to seeing him from a huge distance on stage or airbrushed and touched up in magazines. She was not used to seeing him in the supermarket or the drugstore, so it was perfectly possible that she’d just missed him all the time. He was reclusive anyway, and he had always been the one to shy away from the press even back when he’d been with the band. Jefferson had always happy to take on the limelight and the interviews for the three of them, whilst Rum and Vic had stayed in the back. Whilst they had been on stage, their personalities had always been larger than life, but away from an audience, it was clear that for Rum at least, the stage persona was just that.

“I’ve lost you for the rest of the day now, haven’t I?” Ariel said sagely. “Never mind.” She leaned back against the issue desk, staring out into the middle distance in the same direction as Belle. “I wonder if they’ll still wear the leather trousers.”

Belle felt a flush rise in her cheeks at the mention of the leather trousers that the band had been famous for in their heyday. They certainly hadn’t left much to the imagination and Belle had fallen into many a less than innocent daydream regarding what might be under them.

Thankfully, it was at that moment that a woman with a gaggle of under-fives came into the library and made their way in the direction of the children’s section, and Belle was reminded that she did have a job to do and that story time would be commencing in fifteen minutes. Seeing that Belle was back in the land of the living, Ariel took this as her cue to leave.

“I’m sure that we can discuss this in depth at a later date,” she said. “I’ll bring the wine over tonight and we can go all nostalgic for your college days whilst you daydream about Rum Gold’s accent and speculate on whether he really is here in Storybrooke shut up in a cabin somewhere.”

“I highly doubt that he’s shut up in a cabin,” Belle began to protest, but Ariel was already halfway out of the library, waving behind her.

Belle took a moment to compose herself before she went over to gather picture books ready for story time, resolving to think no more about the Believe or Leave reunion until the allotted time at the end of the day with Ariel. It was hard going though, and more than once throughout the day she found herself wandering off into flights of fancy.

Maybe if the band’s break-up and the reasons behind it had been more publicised at the time, there would not be so much to think about. If the rifts between the band members had made tabloid headline news at the time, then everyone would know the whys and wherefores. As it was, everything had been so sudden and quiet. One day everything was fine, and the band was going about its business, getting ready to release a new album in a few months’ time. All their fans had been eagerly awaiting their next tour dates.

And then, one morning, they announced that they were disbanding with immediate effect, and that was that.

Privately, Belle thought that when it came down to it, Rum was the reason for the split. He’d always been closely guarded, not wanting to bring his family into the limelight, and given his almost total disappearance after they’d gone their separate ways, she assumed that it was something personal to him. There didn’t seem to be any active animosity between the remaining band members. It was all just one of those great unsolved mysteries of the entertainment world. Maybe with this reunion tour, more truths would come out. It would be wonderful if all three of them could get back together, but after years of radio silence from Rum, she wasn’t holding out much hope.

Things happened very quickly after that, and afterwards, when all was said and done and Belle was reflecting on the events of those few months after the farewell tour was announced, she wasn’t sure what it was that kickstarted everything. Certainly, the news that Ariel had brought her that morning was a catalyst, but she liked to think that perhaps providence had had a hand in there somewhere as well.

It was two days since Ariel’s dramatic entrance into the library and the revelations that had entailed from it, and Belle had spent most of that time constantly checking her phone to see if tickets for the tour had been released yet. Considering it had only just been announced, it was unlikely, but she was nothing if not optimistic.

Belle was in the store. There was nothing particularly special about the day, nor the store. It was Storybrooke’s only supermarket, and it could barely be called that. There was nothing particularly special about the shopping trip itself; she’d run out of a lot of food items and needed to restock. The only thing that was different about this week’s shop as opposed to any other was that she had made sure that Believe or Leave was playing on her earphones as she went around filling her basket, and Rum Gold’s voice was crooning at her at the exact moment that she saw the man himself.

Perhaps if she hadn’t been listening to his voice, she wouldn’t have noticed him. She probably wouldn’t have recognised him, because when one thinks about meeting famous people, one doesn’t tend to think about running into them in grocery stores. Even so, Belle had to give an inward snort at her and Ariel’s conversation. It seemed that Rum had been living under their noses all this time without them realising after all.

The more she looked at him, the more she became convinced. He looked a far cry from the person he had been when she had last seen him on stage years ago. He was wearing jeans rather than leather for a start. Belle was quite glad of that; she didn’t think that she would have been able to function if she’d seen him in the flesh in leather. He was older - obviously; everyone was older - and there was grey in his hair now, and in the beard that had grown in the intervening time.

Still just as handsome as he had been in his heyday. Perhaps more so, even. Belle had grown to appreciate the appearance of maturity in a man.

She was horribly aware that she was staring at him, and even more horribly aware that he knew she was staring at him and was staring steadily back. There was a challenge in his dark eyes, daring her to say something and expose his identity to the rest of the store. Not that Belle thought that the rest of the store would be particularly interested in his identity; as far as she knew, she and Ariel were the only two people in the town with a vested interest in Believe or Leave, and Ariel only kept up with them because of Belle.

She tore her gaze away and looked very intently at the meagre selection of tea on offer. Ever since she’d moved to Storybrooke, she’d been buying her tea online, subscribing to various different sites that gave her a wide and exotic selection to choose from. Ariel had always laughed at her for it, telling her to stop being so pretentious because it was only tea for heaven’s sake, just brew up a cup and be done with it. Still, Belle wasn’t really looking at the tea, nor was she thinking about the different blends waiting for her at home rather than the generic brand black teabags here on the shelf that always tasted of paper and sawdust. Nevertheless, she put a box in her basket to show willing and try to distance herself from the somewhat embarrassing situation that was unfolding.

It was only now that she recognised him that she realised she’d seen him around town more than she remembered. Never regularly, just here and there, but enough for him to have made an impression on her memory. She’d been so close to him all this time and never known.

She thought that she could be forgiven for not recognising him at first glance given the beard and glasses. It was probably only because she’d had Believe or Leave on the brain for the last two days that she recognised him at all. Last night she’d gone through all her old albums, looking at the sleeves and reading the spiel there. It had been an excellent nostalgia trip and it had reawakened her love for the group, as well as bringing Rum Gold to the forefront of her mind and keeping him there.

And now, of course, she had just engaged in a veritable staring competition with him and was now buying horrible tea in an effort to pretend that she hadn’t been. She glanced up but he had moved away from the end of the stack and was nowhere to be seen. With a sigh of relief, she put the tea back on the shelf and went to pay, ignoring the fact that she still had several items on her list still to buy and just wanting to get out of the store and the scene of her embarrassment as soon as possible. Once outside, with the fresh air clearing her head, she gave a groan, leaning back against the wall of the store and pulling out her phone to message Ariel.

Kill me now.

Ariel’s response was almost immediate; it was good to know that her best friend was practically glued to her phone and could always be relied upon for a quick reply at any time of the day or night.

What have you done now?

I met Rum Gold in the store.

You’re kidding me.

I am not.

At that point, her phone rang, Ariel evidently having deemed it quicker to speak in person to react to this momentous news.

“Tell. Me. Everything.”

“There’s really nothing to tell. I just recognised him, that’s all. Out of all the other times that I’ve seen this random man in the store, today he wasn’t so random after all. And then he caught me staring so I had to leave without buying any cookies. I was mortified.”

“Good for your waistline, I suppose, but not so good for helping with the mortification. You should have asked him if he was going to join the Believe or Leave tour! Honestly, Belle, I love you but you’re a walking, talking missed opportunity sometimes.”

“You can’t just go up to someone who’s minding their own business buying groceries and start talking about their former career! I already look like a crazy stalker!”

She tailed off as Gold himself rounded the corner towards the parking lot, coming straight past her.

“Belle? Belle? Are you still there or are you off in fantasies of dipping Rum Gold in chocolate sauce?”

Belle just groaned. She hadn’t thought that her humiliation could be more complete, but life was evidently thinking up ways to continually surprise her.

“Belle! Belle? Belle!” Ariel was practically shouting down the phone at her now. Gold had stopped in his tracks and was staring at her again. At least this time, the staring was on him. Belle was very pointedly looking at her shoes. “Belle, stop daydreaming and talk to me!”

“Ariel, just kill me now,” she muttered.

To her immense surprise and somewhat relief, Gold just chuckled, taking his bags over to the old Cadillac in the corner of the lot and driving away, leaving Belle standing in the shade behind the store with Ariel still squawking indignantly in her ear.

Had that really just happened? Was this all a dream? Had she fallen into some kind of parallel dimension whereby a man she saw in town every now and then had metamorphosed in her mind into a famous ex-rock star?

She said her goodbyes to Ariel and hung up, closing her eyes and leaning back against the wall once again. Maybe once she opened them again, everything would have been put to rights and the last few minutes would not have happened.

Belle had just about managed to put her grocery store mortification to the back of her mind and was trying very hard to forget that Rum Gold even existed, let alone that he appeared to have lived in the same town as her for several years without her noticing.

Unfortunately, fate had decided that she was going to be reminded of it all rather forcibly and rather sooner than she expected. It was the day after her revelation and Belle was sitting behind the issue desk in the library, half concentrating on her book and half keeping an eye on the gaggle of giggling teenagers who’d gathered in the Harlequin romance section. She didn’t pay it much mind when the door opened and someone came in. People didn’t often come straight up to the issue desk when they entered. If they were in a hurry to return items then they used the dropbox outside, otherwise they went off into the stacks to browse. Belle was therefore rather surprised when the figure came up to her, especially since he didn’t appear to have any books to return.

She recognised him just a moment later and she felt her face flush with embarrassment as she remembered the previous day. Still, she was a professional, as much as she might want to slide out of her chair and slither under the desk out of sight.

“Welcome to Storybrooke Library,” she said, far too brightly even for her, and Ariel had described her as a walking ray of sunshine once. “How can I help you?”

“Erm…” Unless she was very much mistaken, Rum was looking just as embarrassed as she felt. “I just wanted to apologise. I overheard your conversation with your friend outside the store yesterday and I think I’m the reason you didn’t get your cookies yesterday. And now I’ve just admitted to overhearing private conversations and acting on them, which is probably worse. Just… Here you go.” He held out a pack of Oreos. Belle stared at it for a moment, feeling like she’d suddenly stumbled into a parallel universe in which nothing made sense. Finally, she took the packet and stowed it in her desk drawer. As happy as she was to have her cookies after all, she was still reeling.

“Thank you,” she said, eventually remembering her manners. “How did you know where to find me?”

Rum shrugged. “You’re not the only one who remembers seeing faces around.” There was a long, screamingly awkward pause, and Belle still wasn’t entirely sure that she wasn’t dreaming, and that this was actually the same dream as the one in the grocery store. She was talking to Rum Gold, her favourite musician, the man she’d had a crush on for so many years; and she knew now he was standing in front of her, she still had a crush on him.

Rum suddenly spoke. “You know, I’ve been living here for six years and you’re the first person who’s ever recognised me.” He paused. “At least, I think you are. Perhaps everyone else in town knows my identity and I just haven’t noticed.”

Belle grimaced. “Sorry.”

“No, it’s ok. It’s not your fault.”

“It’s the beard,” Belle said. “It throws everyone else off.” She cringed inwardly as soon as the words were out of her mouth, but Rum just gave a soft chuckle.

“Yeah, that must be it.”

“Ok, in all honesty, I’ve had the Believe or Leave farewell tour on the brain for the last couple of days. You were at the forefront of my mind anyway.”

Rum nodded, but something in his expression had become grave at the mention of the band. As desperately as Belle wanted to know what was going on, she knew that it wasn’t her place to pry. Rum had been living here incognito for years, and evidently wanted to keep it that way.

“Well, I hope you enjoy the cookies,” he said, after a few more moments of staring at each other.

“I will, thank you.” With that he was gone, walking out of her life again as quickly as he’d entered it. Still stunned, Belle reached for her phone, intending to apprise Ariel of the latest developments, but something stopped her. If it wasn’t for the very real cookies, she’d be convinced she’d nodded off with her head on the desk, and she wanted to keep this meeting to herself for a little while. She doubted that she was the only person in town who’d recognised Rum during his time here, but she’d been the only one to be so overt about it. Either way, there was an understanding between them now, and she didn’t want to break that bond by relaying everything to a third party, even one whom she trusted with her life like Ariel.

No, for now, this conversation would be her little secret.

Belle knew that there had to be some kind of psychological phenomenon whereby once your attention had been drawn to something, you started to notice it all the time, seeing it more often even if it wasn't around any more often than it was before. Whatever the phenomenon was, she was experiencing it now with Rum Gold. Since seeing him in the grocery store and his subsequent cookie delivery trip to the library, it felt like she was spotting him all over the place - in the pharmacy, getting take-out from the diner, just walking down the street. Logically she knew that he probably wasn't out and about any more frequently than he used to be, but now that she had recognised him, she recognised him everywhere.

She shook her head crossly. There wasn't exactly a lot that she could do about seeing him so frequently. They did live in the same town, after all. She shouldn't be reading anything into it and she definitely shouldn't be wondering what would happen if their paths were to cross again. She'd managed to get through her life in Storybrooke thus far without knowing that Rum was living among them, surely she could continue her life as it was before her blissful ignorance had been shattered. If Rum was trying to live here incognito and she was the only person who had overtly recognised him, then he probably wouldn't take too kindly to her bumping into him again.

All the same, she couldn't help thinking back to the cookies. He'd been under no obligation to do that, and yet he'd still sought her out. He had noticed her in the same way that she had noticed him. It felt like they were sharing a secret in a way, the two of them possessed of knowledge forbidden to the rest of the town.

Belle was determined nevertheless not to think any more on the subject. It was just one of life's coincidences, that was all. Her resolve in this matter lasted all of four hours until she went to the diner for her lunch that day and recognised Rum's Cadillac in the parking lot. She stopped short and groaned. How was this fair? She couldn't forget about the whole thing if she kept bumping into him.

Belle steeled herself and squared her shoulders, walking towards the diner with purpose. She had just as much right to be here as anyone else and she wasn't going to let avoidance get in the way of getting her lunch.

She entered the diner and walked up to the take-out counter, placing her order with Ruby and beginning to hang around. Rum was there too beside her, waiting for his order, and Belle kept glancing sideways at him. Should she say something? Should she not? Would it be best to pretend that she hadn’t seen him? If she said something now, would be it weird that she’d left it so long before saying anything? Was he going to say anything? How could she tell if he wanted her to ignore him or not?

Rum saved her from her spiralling train of thought.

“Hello again. It seems like we’re destined to keep running into each other.”

“Yeah. Suddenly you’re everywhere. I mean, I keep seeing you everywhere, not that you literally are everywhere at once. And I’m sure that you’re not everywhere any more than you were before, I just…” Belle trailed off on seeing Rum’s amused little smile, feeling her face flush. “I’ll stop talking now.”

“No, it’s fine. I’ve been thinking along the same lines myself now that I keep seeing you everywhere, although probably no more frequently than I saw you before.”

Granny brought his order out at that point and he turned to leave.

“Well, I guess I’ll keep seeing you around. Till next time.”

It was such a simple and subtle sentence, and yet with it, a certain level of permission had been given. They were acquaintances now; they could stop and say hello to each other on the occasions that they met. Belle smiled as she continued to wait for her sandwich. She wasn’t going to go out of her way to meet him, but at the same time, she wasn’t going to have to avoid him either. She could just go about her daily life, and the times when they did meet would not be awkward.

They saw each other a couple of times over the next couple of weeks, never to speak to, but enough to exchange a smile and nod. It was getting to the stage where Belle could predict his routine, and no doubt he could predict hers as well. She kept forgetting that the recognition went both ways, perhaps because she had never been famous and considered herself practically unrecognisable when compared with Rum.

They were back in the diner when they got the chance to speak again, just making general small talk. Granny looked at them shrewdly as she brought the take-out orders out.

“You know, if you two want to continue the conversation then there’s space at the counter.”

“Oh no, no, it’s ok.” They were both speaking at the same time and Granny just looked at them with a raised eyebrow. She nodded towards the counter.

“Go and sit down. I’ll bring you some plates.”

Cowed by Granny’s force, they went over to the counter and took their seats. For a few minutes, the conversation was awkward and stilted, but once the plates had arrived, everything seemed to fall into place. They were just two people with a mutual interest in each other, getting to know each other over lunch. Although before Belle had worried about being starstruck, now that she was here with Rum in such mundane circumstances, those fears melted away. They unconsciously steered away from the topics that would bring them back into the dichotomy of famous person and fan, and it could have been any other first date.

Was it a date?

The conversation continued until Belle checked her watch and sighed. “I have to go; I need to open the library up again, but it’s been nice talking to you.” She paused. “Maybe we could do it again?”

Rum nodded. “Yes, it’s been great. I’d like to do it again. Same time on Friday?”

Belle smiled. “That sounds perfect.”

“You know, when Ariel suggested that you’d been shut up in a cabin here in Storybrooke ever since the band broke up, I didn’t believe her.”

Rum just laughed, bringing a cup of tea over to Belle as she gazed at his wall of memorabilia and accolades, taking everything in.

They had been going out for a few weeks; it was the first time that she had come to Rum’s home, and she had been forced to eat her earlier words to Ariel of a few months ago when she had followed the GPS to his address and had discovered that he did in fact live in a cabin in the middle of nowhere, out by the river – and he had been living there for some time by the looks of things.

“I wanted the solitude,” he said. “I figured that it was less likely that people would recognise me if I was only in the town for buying essentials rather than living in the centre.”

“I guess we kind of ruined that when we started dating,” Belle said. “Although, I can’t really bring myself to be sorry about that.”

“No, me neither.” Rum smiled, taking a sip of his own tea. “I’d far rather that I’d met you and got to know you than I’d stayed shut up out here for the rest of my days.”

“That means an awful lot, you know, considering just how much of a recluse you’ve been.” Belle paused. So far during their dating life, they had never really talked about the band, as much as Belle had wanted to delve further into it, it was clear that it belonged to a past that Rum wanted to put behind him. They had focussed on the present instead, on the people that they were now and where their current interests lay, which made a lot more sense. They were dating each other, not their selves from ten years ago at the height of the band’s fame. It would not do to get hung up on the image of a man that no longer existed. Once Belle had got to know him, she had found that she liked the real Rum Gold far more than she had ever liked the stage persona she had known before, and her attraction to him based on qualities other than the aesthetic and his singing abilities had grown tenfold.

Now though, being in his home and seeing all the evidence of his past life here on display rather than hidden away, Belle was beginning to wonder whether the band wasn’t quite such as taboo a topic as she had always thought it was. It was clear that Rum’s life was still very much dominated by music. There was evidence of it everywhere in the cabin, and the staved paper on the small piano in the corner showed that he was still writing songs even now.

“Rum…”

“Yes, Belle?”

“You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, but I feel I need to ask because music is clearly still such a large part of your life even since the band broke up… Why did the band break up?”

Rum sighed, and he didn’t answer for a long time, going over to the dresser and taking up a photo frame, staring at it for a long time before bringing it back over to Belle.

“I lost my son,” he said eventually. “It happened very suddenly, and in that moment, it felt like my life was over too. Everything just ground to a halt. I couldn’t fathom a way to continue doing what I’d been doing after I lost Bae. Just taking a break whilst I could work through my grief wasn’t going to cut it. I needed to cut the ties completely. All things considered, Vic and Jeff were very understanding about the whole thing.”

“I’m so sorry.” Belle reached out and took Rum’s free hand, squeezing tightly. “Have you really been alone for all this time then?”

Rum nodded. “Until I started getting to know you, of course.” He gave another long sigh. “By the time I was ready to start getting my life back on track, the bridges had been burned, you know. There was no going back, not after I’d left so suddenly. And we’d all grown up and grown older and grown apart since then.”

It was a sudden realisation. More than music simply still being a part of Rum’s life and him still being proud of the achievements he’d made with the band, he was actively missing those days.

“Have you spoken to either of them at all since you went your separate ways?” Belle asked.

Rum shook his head. “I didn’t want to muddy the waters. They both went on to successful solo careers after all, and I just faded into obscurity, holing up here like a recluse and living off my royalties. They probably didn’t want to be reminded of the past.”

“Rum, you know that they’ve just announced a new tour,” Belle pointed out gently. “They definitely do want to be reminded of the past, and Jefferson’s said in interviews that he would love for you to come back.”

“I know.”

“So… What have you got to lose?”

Rum shook his head. “I don’t know, Belle. It’s been so long. You know that feeling when you procrastinate doing something, but then it gets to the stage that you’ve procrastinated it for so long that it’s even more difficult to start, so you just keep on procrastinating it until it becomes a vicious cycle?”

Belle nodded. “Yes, I know that feeling only too well. But you have to break out of the circle and bite the bullet sooner rather than later. Don’t you think that you might as well do it and see what they say, rather than keep putting it off and it becoming ever more awkward. It’s not going to get any easier. These things never do. I think we both know that from experience.”

Rum nodded. “I know. It’ll just get the stage where it’s impossible. If it isn’t already.”

“Nothing is impossible when you put your mind to it,” Belle said. “And whatever happens, I’m right here with you. I’ve got your back, and you can blame me if it all goes wrong.”

Rum gave a snort of laughter. “I’m holding you to that, although I think when it comes down to it, I could never blame you for anything.”

“Oh, I may look like butter wouldn’t melt, but Ariel will tell you that there’s a dark horse in here.” Belle realised the connotations of what she’d said and blushed. “Sorry, that came out way dirtier than I intended it to.”

Rum just laughed. “Oh Belle. I’m so glad that I met you.”

No matter what might happen with the rest of the band, Belle was very glad that she had met Rum, too.

Belle was surprised when she turned onto the track that led up towards Rum’s cabin, because for the first time, there were other cars parked up outside the house. For a long time, she sat in the middle of the track with the engine idling, wondering whether she should continue now that she knew Rum had company. Logic told her that she should have called ahead and asked if he was free, but she had been dating Rum for long enough now to know that he rarely looked at his phone if he was in the middle of composing, and he had always welcomed her impromptu visits before. Besides, he hardly ever went anywhere so she was almost guaranteed to find him at home whenever she turned up on the doorstep.

She had become so used to his solitary, reclusive lifestyle, only marginally less reclusive now that she was in it, that the notion of his having other visitors simply hadn’t crossed her mind.

Belle wondered who it could be; she knew that Rum had no family to speak of. Before she could think any more on it, her phone began to ring. Grabbing it, she saw that Rum was the caller and she groaned; he had obviously noticed her lurking outside.

“Hi Rum.”

“Hi yourself. You know, you’re going to waste a lot of gas just idling in the lane like that. Why don’t you keep driving forwards and come into the house?”

“You’ve got guests,” Belle pointed out, although Rum knew that he had guests, so she wasn’t sure why she said it.

“I do, and I would like to introduce you to my friends.”

Belle’s heart turned a somersault. Could it be?

“I’ll be right in.”

The front door opened as she pulled up outside, and Rum greeted her with a smile.

“I can see you’re stunned,” he said. “I know, it’s amazing. I do actually know other people.” He kissed her cheek softly as he took her coat, before leading her through to where the guests were sitting in front of the empty fireplace, watching her with interest. Two of the faces were immediately familiar.

“Belle, this is Vic Whale and Jefferson Milliner, and Jefferson’s boyfriend Graham. Everyone, this is Belle.”

“So, you must be the one we need to thank for getting the band back together,” Jefferson said. “Quite literally in fact.” He jumped up out of his chair and bounded across to Belle, throwing his arms around her. “Thank you so much. I’m glad that someone was able to get into his thick skull.”

Belle looked at Rum, who was looking slightly sheepish.

“I just took your advice,” he said. “And everything worked out well, as you can see.”

“I told you that you had nothing to worry about.”

“That’s the last time I don’t listen to you.”

Belle just smiled, and after Jefferson finally released her from his bear hug, she slipped an arm around Rum’s waist. “Ah, but you did listen to me in the end, and that’s what matters.”

The next few hours would definitely count among the most memorable of Belle’s life, watching Rum, Jefferson and Vic interact, reminiscing about old times and discussing plans for the tour now that Rum had decided to be a part of it. She felt very honoured to be in this position, gaining such an insight into the music that had been part of her life for so long, a backstage pass in a way. Eventually, Vic and Jefferson took their leave to go and check into the inn in the middle of town. Belle wondered if she’d get a frantic message from Ariel in a few minutes saying that she’d seen the rest of Believe or Leave rocking up in Storybrooke and was there something that Belle was keeping from her?

Left alone with Rum, Belle cuddled in close to his side on the sofa.

“Are you glad that you made the call?” she asked.

“Oh Belle, you have no idea how glad.” Rum sighed wistfully. “It was just like old times, as if I’d never been away and we hadn’t all lived separate lives these past few years. Except, it wasn’t really, because you and Graham were here, which you never were before, but at the same time, it was like you’ve always been here as well.” He paused. “I’ve got so used to you being in my life now that I don’t like to think about the time before you were in it. I thought that being alone was what I wanted, but now that I look back, it feels so empty in comparison to the life I have now.”

Belle reached up and stroked Rum’s cheek gently. “You’ve been alone for so long that you forgot that you don’t have to be. But you don’t have to be, and life is easier when you’re not alone.”

Rum caught her fingers and brought them to his lips, pressing soft kisses over her knuckles.

“Much easier,” he said. “And much happier. I’m still daunted by what I’ve agreed to do, but whatever happens, I’m glad that I’ll have you by my side for it. I will have you by my side, won’t I?”

He sounded so nervous and unsure that Belle thought actions would speak louder than words in this scenario, slipping her arms around his neck and pulling him in for a long, deep kiss, pouring all of her feelings out into it. By the time she pulled away, Rum was looking completely dumbstruck.

“I will always be by your side.”

If someone had asked Belle a year ago where she thought she would be now, she certainly would never have guessed upon the correct answer. Here she was, standing just off the stage at the first show of Believe or Leave’s farewell tour. The venue was a sell-out and tickets had been highly sought after online, so much so that the band had added extra dates to the tour to keep up with popular demand. Rum hadn’t been able to believe that so many people were still interested in their music. Still, he certainly couldn’t fault the crowd’s enthusiasm or their reactions. Belle was already wearing earplugs given her proximity to the massive speakers, but she felt that she needed another set to get over the roar of the spectators. She glanced over at Graham, who was standing with her, and he flashed her a huge grin and thumbs up. This was old hat for Graham; he’d stood in the same place for many of Jefferson’s solo concerts, but Belle was still drinking in all of the atmosphere. Whatever she might have been doing in that vision a year ago, she knew without a doubt that she would rather be right here.

It hadn’t been plain sailing of course. Once it had been announced that Rum was joining Jefferson and Victor for the farewell tour after all, somehow all the journalists who’d failed to find him for seven years miraculously knew where he was and descended on Storybrooke, putting something of a dampener on the still-new relationship between him and Belle. Still, they’d persevered, with Rum escaping to the anonymity of the big city to go and rehearse with the rest of the group and Belle travelling back and forth to see him. The few weekends that they’d managed to spend together at the cabin, once the press furore had died down, had been absolutely blissful, and as excited as she was for the tour, Belle was very much anticipating getting back to that. Rum may have agreed to the tour, but a full reunion was out of the question. In a way, doing this series of concerts was going to provide closure for himself as much as for the fans who’d made his career.

They were reaching the end of the evening, saving their most popular songs for last, and Belle was looking forward to hearing all of her favourites. She was surprised when Rum came to the front of the stage, taking the spotlight from Jefferson, who bowed out with his usual flourish.

“Hello everyone,” he said. The crowd went wild with just those two words; considering they hadn’t heard from him for years half a sentence now was practically gold-dust. He waited for the clamour to die down before he continued. “I know that this is a farewell tour, and we’re not showcasing any new material, but there is just one new song that I would like to play for you today. This is inspired by and dedicated to the remarkable woman who convinced me to be here tonight, and I’d like to say thank you to her. If it wasn’t for meeting her, I wouldn’t be on this stage in front of you. This song is for Belle.”

He glanced over into the wings, smiling at her. Belle couldn’t move. This was… This was an incredible surprise. How had he managed to write an entire song for her without her noticing? She supposed that there had been a lot of time in the last few months when they’d been apart whilst he’d been practising with Vic and Jefferson, but even so, music was Rum’s life and he was always working on something or other whilst he was in the cabin, and he was as cluttered as they made them. She was sure she would have tripped over something that would have given her some indication that this was coming.

The song was beautiful. Rum had always been best at writing the ballads and he’d broken many a teenage heart with his music and lyrics, including Belle’s own, but this one was more upbeat, a happy tune, an anthem of positivity and being able to move on from the past and embrace the new, of renewed hope and finding reasons to live.

After the song’s final bars died away, there was a moment of reverent silence from the crowd of listeners. Belle wondered what they were thinking. She’d loved it, but then, it had been for her, and she’d known that Rum had been thinking of her whilst he’d been singing it and writing it. There was already so much of her in it despite it being the first time she’d heard it.

She really needn’t have worried. After it had had couple of seconds to fully sink in, the audience went ballistic, and Belle joined them. It was nothing if not a triumph, and there was a definite sense of pride in knowing that the triumph was in part inspired by her.

The concert continued to go from strength to strength from there, the crowd growing ever more vociferous as the best and most well-loved songs were played. The applause and cheering were still earth-shattering as the band came off stage. They would go back out for a final encore, but in the couple of minutes’ respite, Rum only had eyes for Belle. He came over, sweeping her up in his arms and kissing her.

“Oh Rum,” she said once he finally let her go – although she would have been quite happy for him to have kept holding on to her forever. “That was absolutely wonderful. You were amazing.”

“I couldn’t have done it without you.” He smiled, and even after all this time of being together, there was still a shyness and disbelief in it. He was having as much trouble accepting that he was really here as Belle was.

“I’m just glad that I could help to get you back here where you belong.” She slipped her arms around his neck and pulled him in for another kiss. “Go on, you should get back out there or they’ll be thinking that you’ve disappeared again.”

Rum gave a theatrical sigh. “Ah, the adoring and clamouring public. Ever am I their servant.”

Belle just batted his arm playfully. “Go on. I’ll still be here when you get back. Give them a finale that they’ll never forget. They deserve it. So do you.”

Rum laughed and kissed her forehead. “I love you, Belle. Thank you so much for being part of my life.”

Belle smiled. “I love you too.”

He dragged himself away then, returning to the stage with Vic and Jefferson for a final deafening encore of applause. Belle couldn’t help but join in.

The last few months had been a whirlwind, but they had been wonderful. The next few months of the tour would be just as colourful, but Belle wouldn’t change it for the world. Everything was going to be great.

#rumbelle fic #rumbelle #Belle French #Mr Gold #Rock Band AU #AU-gust #Worry does AU-gust #Fic: Believe or Leave

37 notes · View notes

anotherkpopvictim · 4 years

Text

No Presents Allowed (Well, Maybe One) - TaeKook Drabble

A/N: Happy Birthday Mr. Kim Taehyung!!!

Pairing: Bottom!Taehyung X Top!Jungkook

Rating: M (smut)

Words: 2630

Smut, fluff

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Taehyung had never been the kind of person to really care about his birthday past the age of thirteen. It wasn’t that he didn’t enjoy receiving sentimental gifts from his friends and family, nor did he dread the day by any means, he simply just didn’t see why people threw huge parties for themselves that last way too long in order to celebrate it.

So, with that being stated, he never really minded that his career made it impossible to have his birthday off. Most memories of Taehyung’s birthdays since they debuted involved either performing at the year-end music shows or rehearsing for said year-end music shows. He never minded because he got to spend his birthday with six of his favorite people in the whole world, and they got a cake to share - a truly decadent delicacy for them when they were trying to keep in shape with strict diets.

This year, 2020, was different.

The pandemic was keeping many in their houses, and most families would not be able to see each other for Christmas break because of it.

Christmas wasn’t going to be much different for BTS because they had spent the past Christmases together for nearly a decade.

This year, however, Taehyung actually had his birthday off from work. They had the day off before the New Year’s Eve Online Concert BigHit was hosting. Taehyung was excited to have the day off, of course, but it would be quite different from the previous years where all seven members had been together for it.

So it’s December 29th, and Taehyung was finally returning back to his apartment after a long day of dance practice and vocal rehearsal. The day had been long and Taehyung found himself rubbing at his eyes tiredly as he tried to unlock his front door.

He was surprised to walk in and smell the delicious scent of cooking meat. “Kookie?” he called out curiously.

“In the kitchen, hyung!” came the reply.

Taehyung probably should have guessed that.

He toed off his shoes and socks and hung up his coat in the closet before heading towards the source of the wonderful scent. Taehyung found Jungkook in the kitchen, standing over the stove as he prepared something. He was wearing some tight black jeans and a simple black button-up, and he looked as beautiful as ever, though it was a little odd to see him all dressed up when they weren’t going anywhere.

“What’s the special occasion?” he asked.

Jungkook looked up at his entrance and gave him a giant bunny smile, “Hi! Your birthday dinner is almost ready.”

“But it’s not even my birthday yet,” Taehyung commented as he made his way closer to the other.

Jungkook shrugged, “I know how much you like my homemade cooking so I thought two days of it would be a great present for you since you said I couldn’t buy you anything this year.”

“Ah, yes,” Taehyung retorted sarcastically, “What a sad thing for you, not being allowed to buy me a birthday present.”

Jungkook pouted, “I know. You’re the worst boyfriend ever. I’m just over here trying to buy you the entire universe and you tell me no.”

Taehyung snorted out a laugh before slapping his arm. “You’re such a doofus.”

The younger man shrugged once more. “And yet you choose to date me.”

Taehyung rolled his eyes before draping himself over Jungkook’s back as he went back to stirring something in a frying pan. “So, what is my little chef making for me today?”

“Steak tteokbokki,” he answered.

The older man hummed happily, “Yummy.”

“Go wash up while I finish this, hyung,” Jungkook said. “Then pick out a movie to watch while we eat.”

Taehyung grinned and leaned down to press several loud, smacking kisses to the younger man’s neck. “You’re the best, Kook-ah.”

Despite his earlier tiredness, Taehyung was really excited to spend some time with his boyfriend. His shower helped wake him up more, and he had a surprisingly fun time picking out what to wear. He went with simple black slacks and a blue floral patterned button-up. He didn’t do anything special to his hair, knowing that Jungkook liked to run his finger through the soft, natural waves void of any product.

The two of them ended up rewatching an anime they had seen a million times but both loved, stuffing their faces with Jungkook’s amazing tteokbokki while they made comments about the show back and forth.

After their meals were finished, Taehyung leaned his head on his boyfriend’s thigh and looked up at him. He admired his soft features and wavy locks framing his face.

“Don’t stare at me like that,” Jungkook complained with a blush when he glanced down and caught his boyfriend’s gaze. “It’s creepy.”

“You like it,” Taehyung teased, giggling when it earned him a pinch to his side. “Please, our fans have literally made compilations of you staring at me for minutes!”

Jungkook narrowed his eyes playfully, “Why you little-”

And so that’s how they ended up in a tickle war, Taehyung escaping from his boyfriend’s grasp only to squeal when Jungkook caught him up in his arms a few moments later.

Eventually, they migrated to their shared bedroom, where they collapsed onto the bed in a heap of fond giggles and sweet kisses.

At least, the kisses were sweet until they began to become something more. Jungkook nibbled at Taehyung’s lip while the older man wound his arms around the younger’s neck.

They continued to make out and eventually, their hips were kicking against each other suggestively. Taehyung let out a moan of appreciation when Jungkook slipped his hands under his shirt and began teasing his nipples with his thumbs.

Slowly, Jungkook unbuttoned his boyfriend’s shirt and helped him toss it to the side. He pressed another loving kiss to his soft lips before pulling back and looking at Taehyung with those dark, lustful eyes that had him nearly melting on the spot.

“Let me show just how much I love you, my Taehyungie.” Jungkook’s voice was barely above a whisper but the tone was sure and Taehyung heard it loud and clear.

He gave a quick nod and that was all the confirmation that the younger needed.

Jungkook held the older man’s hands and lifted them above his head as he pressed gentle kisses into his neck. “Keep your hands there, baby.”

Taehyung let out something close to a whine of submission and complied as the younger man relented his grip and let his hands wander to other places. His hands glided over his arms, appreciating the lightly defined muscles he’d been trying so hard to get. Then he moved on to ghosting his fingertips over his torso in a teasing manner, tweaking his hardened nipples a few more times for good measure.

By the time Jungkook was done worshipping his upper body, Taehyung was a puddle of goo, completely relaxed and aroused with his hard cock tenting his slacks. Jungkook left a trail of kisses down his torso, following where his hands had been moments earlier.

Taehyung couldn’t help the moan of approval he let out when the younger man slid his pants and boxers down his legs and off. The feeling of his cock being freed from its constraints just felt too good.

The older man found himself gasping in surprise when Jungkook sank down on his dick with his mouth, his throat easily adapting to the rather large intrusion. Taehyung’s arms twitched above his head, and he had to fight to urge to keep them there as Jungkook had asked him to. All he really wanted was to grab the younger man’s head and guide his movements over his cock, and perhaps another day Jungkook would have let him, but not today.

As Jungkook bobbed his head up and down on the older man’s length, he watched as Taehyung’s face contorted in pleasure. His eyebrows furrowed and his lip became bitten between his teeth.

Jungkook pulled off of him momentarily to say, “Let me hear you, hyung.” He was hollowing his mouth around his dick again just a second later.

Taehyung obeyed, allowing his noises of pleasure to fill the otherwise quiet air around them. He let them fly freely, knowing that Jungkook loved to know just how good he was making him feel.

It only took a few minutes before Taehyung was wriggling around on the bed under Jungkook’s ministrations, feeling himself getting close.

Fortunately (or unfortunately, Taehyung couldn’t decide) Jungkook seemed to know this, as he pulled himself completely away from Taehyung’s cock. The older man let out a whimper of disapproval that Jungkook hushed away with a kiss to the lips.

Then, the younger man continued his journey of worshipping Taehyung’s body, lifting up his left leg and pressing loving kisses into the soft skin of his thighs. It tickled honestly, but it also made Taehyung’s heart so warm to feel the love his boyfriend had for every single part of him.

Jungkook moved to the right leg and gave it just as much attention as the other one. Taehyung let out a yelp as Jungkook bit into the meat of his inner thigh, his hands - which had remained above his head until this point - reached down and grabbed harshly onto the younger man’s dark locks.

Jungkook immediately pulled away and grabbed his wrists. “No, hyung. Above your head,” he reminded firmly.

Taehyung whined, his head swimming with the fuzzy haze of need. His hands only tightened their grip.

The younger seemed to realize how far into his headspace Taehyung was and leaned down to kiss his lips softly. “You’re doing so well for me, Taehyungie. I love you so much. Keep your hands up for me, love.”

Taehyung allowed Jungkook to guide his arms back above his head, helping his fingers grip onto the bars of the headboard for support. “Keep them there, baby,” he ordered softly once more.

Taehyung let his eyes fall shut and his body fall limp to help him relax as Jungkook bent the older man’s knees and planted his feet onto the mattress. Then he moved to the edge of the bed to rummage through the bedside table. They’d done this enough that Taehyung knew the younger man was getting the lube.

He was proven correct when he heard the unmistakable sounds of the cap popping off and Jungkook pouring some lube onto his fingers.

Taehyung’s hips jumped at the gentle pressure that appeared at his asshole, but he quickly relaxed once more. This is what he needed. This is what he hadn’t realized he’d been craving lately. Leave it up to Jungkook to know him better than he knows himself.

He whimpered as Jungkook sank his entire finger inside of him, moving gently so he could get used to the intrusion. It wasn’t long before he added a second finger and then a third, fucking Taehyung with his fingers in a way that was too perfect but perfectly Jungkook.

“K-Kookie - need...” he couldn’t even find his words properly, already feeling fucked out. “Need you to fuck me, Kookie.”

Jungkook couldn’t help but smile fondly at the older man’s demure tone as he removed his fingers. “Alright, hyung.”

Taehyung opened his eyes to watch as Jungkook sat up on the bed and unbuttoned his own shirt. He hungrily drunk in the sight of his boyfriend’s toned abdomen and milky skin as the fabric was pushed off of his shoulders and onto the floor. He watched even more closely as Jungkook pushed his jeans and boxers off his legs, leaving him completely bare to the world.

Fuck, Taehyung was so lucky to have a boyfriend who was so fucking beautiful.

The younger man poured a bit more lube into his hand before enveloping his long, hard dick. As Jungkook let out a pleased moan, Taehyung’s hands twitched again with the urge to just reach out and touch his boyfriend himself. Truly, Taehyung wasn’t much of the jealous type, but he might be a little bit (a lot) jealous of Jungkook’s hand right now.

After a few more slick pumps of his hand, Jungkook leaned down over the older man once more, cloaking him with his body in a way that made Taehyung let out a sigh of relief. Their bare skin, warm and soft, pressed together until they were more one person than two.

Taehyung let out a whimper as Jungkook guided himself to his hole, pushing the tip in teasingly. “Kook-ah, come on,” he whined, “Please don’t tease me anymore.”

“I’ve barely teased you,” Jungkook replied, amused.

Taehyung pouted petulantly and was about to whine some more when Jungkook decided to just thrust his dick all the way inside of him in one go. A pleasured gasp fell his lips and his eyes rolled to the back of his head when his boyfriend began a hard, steady pace with his movements.

“There you go,” Jungkook hissed out with a furrowed brow. “This is what you wanted, right? Wanted me to fuck you senseless.”

It was a rare occurrence to hear Jungkook speaking so boldly and it only served to push Taehyung further into his debauched state.

Jungkook hitched Taehyung’s leg higher around his waist, adjusting the angle until the tip of his cock pressed against his boyfriend’s prostate.

Taehyung let out a strangled moan and his arms came down from their spot above his head before he caught himself and returned them.

“Good, hyung.”

Jungkook rewarded him by quickening the rhythm of his hips. Their skin was slapping together rather noisily where their bodies connected and along with their generous moans, they surely sounded like something out of a porno. Probably looked like they could be the stars of one too, considering how handsome they both were.

Taehyung’s emotions were building up inside him rather quickly, overwhelmed with the younger man’s relentless pace. His hands kept their place above his head, gripping tightly to the bars of the headboard.

“K-Kook,” Taehyung hiccupped out. “I’m not gonna l-last much longer.”

“Me neither, baby,” Jungkook admitted. “It’s been too long.”

The younger man grabbed hold of Taehyung’s thigh and used his strength to lift it nearly over his shoulder. A few thrusts at the new angle was all it took for Taehyung to be reduced to a babbling mess.

“Let me come, please!” he all but begged.

Jungkook honestly wasn’t fairing much better, the sight of his boyfriend so fucked out too much for him too. “Go ahead.”

Taehyung only had half a mind to be embarrassed about the sounds he made as he came, clenching around Jungkook and causing him to tip over the edge only a few seconds later.

The younger collapsed onto Taehyung, nuzzling his face into his boyfriend’s neck as they both came down from their highs.

After a few minutes, Jungkook got up and went to the bathroom to get a wet rag. He cleaned Taehyung up with it when he returned to the room, gently wiping him down as the older man laid there on their bed in a hazy bliss.

“I love you, Taehyungie,” Jungkook murmured as he returned to the bed to wrap himself around Taehyung.

“Love you too,” he replied. “You always know exactly what I need.”

Jungkook hummed, “It’s a special talent.”

“This is the best present I ever could have received.” As they cuddled closer together, the older lying his head on Jungkook’s chest and wrapping an arm around his waist, Taehyung added, “My ass is gonna hurt so badly for our performance on Thursday.”

Jungkook snorted out a laugh. “It’s what you wanted, though, isn’t it?”

Taehyung let out a happy sigh as he let his eyes closed shut. “Yeah. Yeah it is.”

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

A/N: It is so hard for me to write smut sometimes. I always find it sounds so cringey. I hope it turned out alright, though.

Comments and likes keep me going, so please leave one if you liked this <3

#bts #bts taehyung #bts v #kim taehyung #bts jungkook #jeon jungkook #bts drabble #bts drabbles #bts fanfic #bts fanfics #bts fanfiction #bts taekook #bts vkook #taekook #vkook

15 notes · View notes