#like it’s US black history month but it just feels like no one cares yk ?

[weirdo09]

i don’t think y’all understand what it’s really like being of african diaspora descent

[atotalpitch]

Ohhh I have a headcanon question (...again, lol). If the Bellas were to read fanfiction, what would be their go-to tag be?? (eg. found family, enemies to lovers, hurt/no comfort etc)

ooo i like this one! ty for asking (once again /pos) . this basically turned into a list of every au to exist but. whatever. they like aus okay.

Beca: tbh i feel like she would intentionally find the worst (i, by no means, intend to offend anyone with that) smut fics and laugh at them. on the other hand, her inner teen angst would probably take over and she'd read awfully angsty stuff. like Whump / dd:dne level shit. but also found family fluff?? depends on the day. her top tags are probably Hurt/Comfort, Found Family, Enemies to Lovers (even though she'd never admit to any of them willingly)

Chloe: Fake Dating AU (with no further explanation, sorry). mostly she doesn't necessarily search for specific tags, just scrolls through an entire fandom/ship/character tag and reads whatever's interesting enough. deep deep down she does have a thing for Vampire AUs. lord knows why. also maybe kinda Slowburn?? she absolutely will sit down and read fifty chapters of insanely gut wrenching heart break and then sob over it for days even if it has a happy ending. Aubrey: Canon Divergent AU. or just AUs in general (childhood friends, soulmates.. yk whatever there is) i think. she likes to see authors put their own twists into what actually happened. also maybe because her favourite ships and characters always get ruined by whoever's behind the actual media,,, but that's like. totally unrelated. Stacie: High School AU. do you guys see the vision here?? because i don't know how to explain it in coherent words. but she's all for the teen drama. (later in life) on very random occasions she also reads Family Fluff because it reminds her of Bella and she loves Bella. Amy: she finds the most disturbing, explicit tags known to mankind. Improper Use Of Eyesocket? Creating a New Hole? Watersports? yeah. those. and worse. nobody knows how she's even able to read them. Emily: Found Family, Fluff, Light Angst, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort (which she often mistakes for hurt/no comfort and regrets it for months after). she LOVES fluff and all the mushy gushy stuff. but also kinda similarly to Chloe, she can get lost in an intense Slowburn for a while. and cry about it after she finishes. Flo: she absolutely reads Smut. dirty mf. if not smut then probably Found Family as well (seems to be a common theme with them all). Firefighter AUs are also high up on her list for some reason?? i mean i don't blame her Cynthia Rose: i feel like if i went with how her character is (sadly) portrayed in the movies, then Lesbian Sex would be the obvious answer. but i feel like she'd be more of a Marriage / Wedding kinda girl. she's in love with the idea of making a huge deal out of it to show everyone how much you care about someone and spending your life with them. Lilly: can she read?? does she know the concept of fanfiction??? questions that will forever go unanswered. no, but seriously though she'd read the most odd-yet-normal shit (eg. Fluff with a side of Murder) Ashley: Childhood Friends to Lovers, i don't know how to elaborate further. she just gives off that vibe. if we go deeper into her search history though there are some very intense Hurt/Comfort fics from her early to late teens Jessica: she's absolutely one of those crazy readers who will love the most desperate Whump fics ever on one day, then completely flip to Tooth Rotting Fluff on the other. it very much depends on her mood, mental wellbeing and whether she's angry at the world or not. most of the time not. so she just reads Fluff like 24/7, not that she'd tell anyone. (except Ashley, but that doesn't even count) this was kind of a difficult one because i blacked out the second i tried to think about what tags are out there, but i hope it was up to expectations 🫡

[genderqueer-karma]

hey so it’s bhm here in the us and i was thinking thoughts earlier. i figured this was a semi-appropriate time to post something like this anyway, so here’s what my brain spat out (in post format!)

my thoughts (as a black person) on that fucking locs wig/headpiece

so. if you’re a fan of malice mizer or are vaguely familiar with them through cultural osmosis of a friend or whomever talking about them, there’s a considerable chance you’ve seen pictures of mana様 wearing this wig*:

yk. the locs.

it goes without saying that this is appropriation of black culture**. my culture. doesn’t take a genius to figure that out.

i’ve seen people (particularly on tiktok, though there have been people in other places) make a big stink over it! and that is valid, for the most part.

however, of the examples i’ve seen of non-black people wearing black cultural styles (and i have seen quite a few), this is probably one of the most tame.

i have seen people try to give themselves “locs”/“dreads” in their own, non afro-textured hair. it has usually turned out to be a matted, unhealthy mess that ultimately has to be cut. that cannot be said of this wig. it is pristine in comparison, which i find to be fascinating! if you look at wigs made to resemble locs, 90% of the time they still look gross and matted. (a common theme… truly peculiar. /sarcasm)

that in particular makes me believe (to a certain extent) that this was not intentionally malicious. so truthfully, it’s hard to demonize it entirely.

with that in mind, i’m not defending this either; trust when i say that i am immensely disappointed to see these things. primarily, that’s because it does bring into question just how safe i am/will be within these fan spaces as a black person. if we cannot call out these things as a community and be in complete understanding with one another about why this is wrong, we cannot progress past it.

however, i find it truly bizarre that people will be frothing at the mouth over this now. it’s been ~20/30 years! beyond that, there’s been no major incidents like this since then!

there is no real reason to continue complaining so frequently about something so old at this point in time, especially when it was not done out of genuine, unadulterated hatred.

sure, we (black fans, in our relatively small number) should maybe be given an apology, but it’s a minor wound at worst, and an apology that is unlikely to happen because of how long ago everything transpired.

i, personally, am more concerned with fans and their issues than mana様 himself. as far as i’m concerned, he’s literally just some guy. he doesn’t even do a lot in the public eye as often as he used to. he just peddles his wares and shit, which is not something i’m worried about.

in essence, yes, 1000%, it’s wrong. yes, we should bring attention to it.

but no, it does not warrant any major action on the part of fans. especially not those who simply wish to white knight and prove they’re “cool” or “woke” for internet brownie points rather than actually ally themselves with the black community on more pressing issues than a 30-year-old wig.

thanks for reading, i guess. happy black history month. actually listen to the black people around you year-round.

***

*(yes, it is a wig/headpiece. i’ve checked multiple times.)

**(i can only speak on my perspective of my culture, but i know others have feelings about other things that mana様 especially has done by way of appropriation.)

***(also, don’t ask me about the braids from early klaha era. i don’t care! re-read the post if you’re that concerned.)

[pink-enby-in-distress]

the doctors visit went so well i was v v pleasantly surprised!! i saw like 5 women,, 4 out of 5 were black n the one who wasn't still amazing n lovely n guyss she believed me yall!! she believed me!!!:) they all did

so i went in,, talked to the nurse about pmdd n the pain I've been feeling for months,, the first nurse was great n lovely n so pretty n i really liked her box braids. then the nurse/gyno came in n she was the main one who was like,, the doctor yk. again,, i mostly started with my chronic pain n then towards the end i talked about pmdd. she was like "wow you're super intelligent tracking your pain is v v helpful...yeah ik the pain scale isn't great it helps track my pain but it's not great for chronic pain... have u looked at chronic pain treatments like acupuncture n massaging n meditation?... i want u to take vitamins and sleep more and definitely have a more nutrient dense diet,, but i definitely think it's something more than i dont want you to think i thinks thats all it is... i want you to know i believe you...there will be a long journey in finding out things and there will be ppl who wont believe you,, etc."

so since shes a gyno n my pain is in multiple systems like all over my body she let me know,, "hey this is a little out of my depth so we're gonna send u to like,, internal care. but!! to take at least one thing off your plate im gonna start u on birth control!!:)"

so yay!! everyone was super attentive,, i got my labs done again,, (im a little anemic but we kinda already assumed that),, i can use this app to see everything n see what my doc wants to tell me. My next appointments are v v soon,, i thought it gonna be like 6 months or just at least 3 or 4 but,, it's in weeks so thatd great.

i tried to keep it as vague as possible while still gushing about the stuff i loved bc,, i don't necessarily want yall to know all my medical history lol. but yeah they were super fucking attentive!! super lovely. i love being in an office full of women where ppl take my pain seriously. was v much expecting discrimination,, n im sure i will be bc of obvious reasons. but im so fucking happy:)

[jackrrabbit]

ask answering/updates

first of all, thank you 💘 second of all...

ok ok ok don’t get too excited, but I finally got the juice to start working on the next part of Fanatic 🖤 most of you guys will be like ‘who cares’ but i know some of you have been waiting for this for a while! it’s been what, 2 months?? hope I’m not jinxing myself by saying this *knocks on wood* also not to hype myself too much but it’s kinda bomb 😳 maybe this is just my sick bias but I’ve really been wanting to write about...aftermath iykwim haha. reader all scared & shy & trying to avoid him but yk he’s not going to leave her alone :P

I also figured out the ending to it will come back!! it wouldn’t be shiggy if it didn’t get dangerous 😈 also gonna be nice to write some eyes-rolling-back-in-the-head fuckery so our favorite handsy creep can finally get his dick wet with his beloved little nursey <3

here are some other vague ideas, some based on requests, some not. as always no promises!!

BNHA—pillage & plunder with fantasy AU warlord Bakugo (and his gang of ruffians?? hmm...)

BNHA—Overhaul makes you work off your daddy’s gambling debts the extra hard way uwu...also I have SO many ideas for Overhaul 😷 after I finish iwcb my next multi-part fic will probably be with him

BNHA—various things with reader as an aspiring villain set in the same universe as Caught in the Act: reader getting quarantined with shiggy & dabi...dabi getting mad at you after you keep fucking up...incel shiggy jacking it to his adorable protégée without her knowledge (a galaxy brain request from a very good buddy!!!!)

BNHA—ABO with alpha Hawks and omega reader in an elevator...and uh-oh, it’s stuck! and you’re going into heat! oh no, whatever will you do??

Haikyuu—you get stuck in a hole in a wall, good thing your dutiful boyfriend Kuroo is there to help you out ;)

Haikyuu—gangbang with Tsukki, Bokuto, Akaashi, and Kuroo...a challenge bc I’ve never written a gangbang before!! will have to do some research 🧐

Haikyuu—your bf Atsumu does mean things when he’s jealous, like putting his hands up your skirt in public

KNY—Kokushibou decides to keep a shrine maiden as his cute little human pet 💜 actually already wrote pt. 1 but I’ll wait to post til I’m done with Fanatic

AxK—just some no good very bad yandere content with Dr. Midori...neglect play stuff...sensory deprivation stuff...icky icky

Gintama—something with Kamui. does this count as monsterfucking? very very rough...idk what exactly? some form of dastardly acts

thanks for the concern friends 💕💕 I’ve been preoccupied by things happening irl for the past few weeks, trying to educate myself, going to protests, etc.

also in case anyone else is confused, my stance is and always has been that Black lives matter and all cops are bastards. I’m not sure my porn blog is the right place to talk about this at length but if you’re a bootlicker, please smash that unfollow button and don’t let the door hit you on the way out. if you don’t already have a decently functioning moral compass you should not get anywhere near my writing...fr

learn more and get involved

omg thank you & yes yes a million times yes!!! hope you don’t mind commitment issues and student loan debt 💝👯‍♀️

the line between not hawksfucker and hawksfucker is very thin and very blurry, beware.....lol and thank you!!

the video you recommended...like damn!!! that’s exactly the vibe I feel like fratty Hawks x reader from be a little bad would be like if they had a happy ending eventually (start at 1:39)!!!!! “I didn’t make you do this” “I’m not accusing you of anything” it’s that exact dynamic. imo Hawks might be a little less willing to make things official and reader would prob have a hard time being straightforward enough to ask tho...hmmm

I did get several requests for a part 2! I’m thinking it over atm. I will say tho that most of my reqs have very slow turnaround so if I write it, it might be a while

ooh I love getting recommendations! here’s what I like:

fanfic: I read stuff like what I write (smut, kink, yandere, villains). at some point I’m going to make a long post of fic recs of my own! I also read fluff and character x character ship fic so interests are pretty broad

TV: humor, crime shows like Bones, Criminal Minds, Psych, that kind of thing. nothing too dark or complicated, nothing that requires too much investment. same goes for anime

movies: pretty much everything! lately I’m really into Howl’s Moving Castle and Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

books: literary fiction. can I say I’m into dark academia if the only dark academia I’ve read is The Secret History? favorite books I’ve read semi-recently are TSH, All the Light We Cannot See, The Poisonwood Bible, and Discipline & Punish. currently reading Foucault’s History of Sexuality

music: idk man...all kinds of stuff. I listen based on vibe more than genre. all my spotify playlists are named things like “sunday” and “the power” and “[sparkle emoji]”. my artists on repeat are Hozier, The Weeknd, Kendrick, M.I.A., The Neighborhood (F I’m a basic bitch) but I’ll try anything once

jfc these two asks have given me so much hope 🥰😭💗 you know what? sooner or later I’m going to post Kamui x reader smut and it’s going to get 3 notes from the three of us liking it and that’s okay because I’ve thirsted over this man too long and too hard to go my entire life without reading over-indulgent reader-insert porn of him. yes the villain kink jumped out but DAMN!!! the man has ‘h*rny scumbag who lets his instincts rule him’ baked into both his DNA and his psyche, and I’m so here for it 😌

if you don’t know who Kamui is, do me a favor and watch gintama. yes there are like 400 episodes but it’s worth it. I will convert more bitches to the gintama thirst train if it costs me my life. Kamui was made to star in disrespectful breeding kink smut and this is a hill I will die on.

??? sure, if you can point me toward part 2 ????? lmao

I’m guessing you meant to ask for a pt 2 instead of pt 3? in which case, thanks for asking!! but tbh...for some reason I have a really hard time imagining what a pt 2 would look like, maybe because I wrote it 100% from Overhaul’s POV so it’s hard for me to define the reader’s feelings. I’m not saying it’ll never happen but 🤷‍♀️

HOWEVER if it’s Overhaul content in general you’re craving, you’re in luck!!! he’s a favorite of mine. legit he ticks so many of my boxes—villain kink? check. medical/scientist kink? check. yakuza kink? honey I’m weak. I’ll definitely be writing more for him in the future!

oh no! I checked it on my computer & on mobile and all of the links are working for me? are the links still broken for you guys?

anyway, here are the rules, here’s the short version of the request rules, and here is part 1 and part 2 of it will come back.

thank you to everyone who has sent kind words, everyone who replies to my writing, and everyone who posts thirst in the tags!!! I read that shit!!!! and it makes me fucking cry, I love you all

one more thing: several people have requested continuations to Sleepless, Sidekick, and Fanatic. on one hand, I’m so flattered that you guys want more!!! on the other hand, I actually already answered asks about pt. 2′s for those particular fics. before you request a continuation of anything, it’s probably a good idea to look up the name of the fic as a tag on my blog so you can check and see if anyone else had the same question 💖💖💖

[btxtreads]

ANOTHER TAG ASHJHJASD

extra long tag game (aka a tmi that no one particularly cares for)

tagged by @txthearteu​

tagging @markhyucknorenminchenji​ @qtsoobin​ @beomberry​ @txtdiaries​ and other people who wanna do it idk

ONE

tell me the first song that made you stan your current fave group and why did your faves attract you so much?

of course, none other than king943 hSJADJSAJHAS. He’s a little secret I’ll let you all in on: the first person I actually noticed in TXT was,,,,,,, Kang Taehyun hSDHJAHJSDAHSA but he wasn’t my bias. I just thought he was cute (also amused me bc my BTS bias was Taehyung and I found a guy named Taehyun cute), but I didn’t stan them then. I started stanning when I saw ONE DREAM.TXT where they talked to BTS and found them really cute and endearing. Looking into them, they were wild, and chaotic and so fun and also i got rEAAAALLY attached to Soobin. So here I am. There u go, my stanning story.

TWO

rule: answer the ten questions and write your own!

what’s your unrealistic goal for life?

becoming a famous actress or singer hJSHADJSA

if you had known that we would be in a global pandemic, what’s one thing that you would’ve done before things shut down (if they have for you)?

Went to a theme park. I miss going to theme parks 🥺

what’s an unconventional thing that you carry around with you when you go out?

hmmm most of the time i just go out with just my phone and money unless I need to bring a bag due to safety concerns/more items needed. So I’d say nothing unconventional.

favourite type of plushies and why?

God do I seem boring hsahsajjsa but i wasn’t too big on plushies. I had a gigantic teddy bear named Justin when I was a kid (it’s a bear with shades that my brother gave me) and I used to buy plushies whenever I’m in disneyland, it’s all in my sister’s reading lounge. The only plushie in my room now is a Mollang doll wearing like a blue shirt/dress, it’s my favorite rn It’s squishyyyy

favourite song right now?

right now, it’s Work It by Sabrina Carpenter.

something that you’ve always wanted to learn?

Dancing (i literally suck. i have no idea how. no joke), Vocal Lessons (had some lessons briefly for like a year but i stopped and want to take some again), music production, acting, hosting

tell a funny story about yourself (or just something that you’ve witnessed)

ok okok so one time in our class groupchat we were talking about class elections for officers. There were muse votes and some people were saying they want me to be the muse but i didnt want to bc i was busy with work. Then they started saying that they want me to be the muse and this guy that i rejected be the escort. while this is happening, i was simping hard for soobin in another chat. anyways, i got everything mixed up and accidentally sent the soobin simp stuff to the class chat and everyone thought i was simping for the classmate i rejected i was so asHAMED.

headphones or speakers? why?

speakers! idk i just like blastic the music loud.

craving any food right now? what are you craving?

anything with cheese

which music streaming platform do you prefer? why?

spotify since its free for me askjjksad someone pays for my subscription lmaooo

😌✌️

questions from cj to me:

android or apple? why?

APPLE because im loyal 😌 and i guess im just used to it so its easier to use for me + all my gadgets at home are mac

words of affirmation or physical affection? why?

I think there should be a good balance of both. The words will have the ability to give you this sense of comfort and satisfaction and you know just overall a peace of mind when you hear the right words??? and physical affection bc sometimes it’s just better to get a hug or a kiss isntead of talking yk? actions speak louder than words sometimes

bean bag or rocking chair? why?

Honestly, this would depend. If I’m reading a book and feeling very vintage with a hot cup of coffee, definitely a rocking chair. If I’m watching TV and basically just chilling I’d go for Bean Bag. I like maintaining the atmosphere.

do you view a half-filled glass as half-full or half-empty or an in-between? why? (go as deep as you can)

I view it as in-between, because there’s always room for improvement. There’s always things to change, and consider, and make better. There’s no such thing as perfect.

If someone were to grant your wish right now, what would it be and why?

Please stop corona right now and let everyone go back to their daily lives and please let me attend a TXT concert bls im begging on my kNEES

if someone were to give you anything you want right now, what would it be and why? (something that can be held)

Give me Soobin I just want to give him a hug. this is valid i can hold him

favorite season and why

Winter! Even if I’ve never experienced snow or winter before, the whole idea of snow is just really fun and endearing to me. One of my bucketlists is to see snow in real life. I think it has to do with the fact that I’ve always been this person to prefer the cold over heat.

what made you enter tumblr?

I’ve always been here! Just not in kpop tumblr. I’ve since deleted my old accounts and shame  but i came back to write. It’s always been so stress-relieving to me, to write without any expectations on my back because I’m thinking about grades or a competition. Also Soobin simping is a daily thing and I gotta release it somewhere man

are you happy with where you are in life right now? why or why not?

Yes. I may not be the richest or the prettiest, or smartest or whatever, but I have a good family that loves me. I have good friends that support me and I have TXT and BTS to help me cope when things get overwhelming. I have a job that gives me a little bit of income (it’s not too common for college students here to get jobs like in the US, most of them just focus on acads) and all the means to continue my education amidst the pandemic. So really, I’m grateful for where I am now.

to see the boys in real life but for it to happen only once in your lifetime, or to meet the boys via online fan meeting as many times as you can in your lifetime? why?

Why do you have to do me dirty cj,,,,, prolly online. I may not get to hug them or anything but I get to talk to them still. As may times as I want to. And as a girl whose sanity literally just depends on Soobin giggles rn it’ll be very therapeutic to me to see them and talk to them as much as I could, even just through a screen.

QUESTIONS FROM ME TO YOU:

Cinema or Netflix? Why?

Fire or Rain? Why?

What’s the worst experience you’ve had as a KPOP stan?

How do you handle stress?

Favorite Disney Princess and why?

Which fictional character do you say you relate the most to?

How did you get into KPOP?

What kind of merch you got 👀

Would you date a KPOP idol? What would you do if you do date one? (doesnt have to be your bias, just wanna see what y’all would do)

Would you rather be with someone you love but doesn’t love you back or be with someone that loves yu but you don’t love them back? (Or, as the Filipinos would say, Mahal ko o Mahal Ako)

THREE

rule: bold the statements that apply to you, italicize your aspirations, then tag nine people.

AIR ༉⋆͙̈

i have small hands / i love the night sky / i watch animals and birds when i pass them by / i drink herbal tea / i wake to see the dawn / the smell of dust is comforting / i’m valued for being wise / i prefer books to music / i meditate / i find joy in learning new truths from the world around me

FIRE ༉⋆͙̈

i don’t have straight hair / i like to wear ripped jeans and overalls / i play an organized sport / i love dogs / i am not afraid of adventure / i love to talk to strangers / i always try new foods / i enjoy road trips / summer is my favorite season / my radio is always playing

WATER ༉⋆͙̈

i wear bracelets on my wrists / i love the bustle of the city / i have more than one set of piercings / i read poetry / i love the sound of a thunderstorm / i want to travel the world / i sleep past midday most days / i love simply lit dinners and fluorescent signs / i rewatch kids shows out of nostalgia / i see emotions in colors not words

EARTH ༉⋆͙̈

i wear glasses or contacts / i enjoy doing the laundry / i am a vegetarian or vegan / i have an excellent sense of time / my humor is very cheerful / i am a valued advisor to my friends / i believe in true love / i love this chill of mountain air / i’m always listening to music / i am highly trusted by the people in my life

AETHER ༉⋆͙̈

i go without makeup in my daily life / i make my own artwork / i keep on track of my tasks and time / i always know true north / i see beauty in everything / i can always smell flowers / i smile at everyone i pass by / i always fear history repeating itself / i have recovered from a mental disorder / i can love unconditionally

FOUR

PERSONAL

name: -

nickname: rina

birthday: - 

zodiac: gemini

nationality: filipino

languages: english, filipino 

gender: female

sexuality: straight

height: 5′2 like 2 years ago, i probably grew like an inch or two 

BLOG STUFF

inspiration for muse: --

meaning behind my url: bts and txt fanfics to read hasjhsahj

blog established: ,,,,, i cant remember askjjksdjkdsa but the blog is only a few months old!

followers: 384!!! love yall 

FAVORITES

favourite animals: b u n n y y y y y

favourite books: CAMP HALF BLOOD SERIES BY RICK RIORDAN IM ZEUS’ DAUGHTER YALL

favourite colour: black, blue, purple

favourite fictional characters: Percy Jackson, Jaron from Ascendance Trilogy, Chimmy!!! hihi

favourite flower: white roses

favourite scent: coffee

favourite season: winter

RANDOM

average hours of sleep: 3-5 or 8-10.

cats or dogs: dogs because cats scare me

coffee, tea or hot chocolate: coffee!!! especially if it’s iced and sweet

current time: 12:21 AM

dream trip: California. Look I have the visa, pls miss rona. just leave so cali can just let me IN

dream job: actress or singer

hobbies: writing, reading, watching crackvids

hogwarts house: gryffindor

last movie watched: Work It (bc it has sabrina carpenter ahshsahsa i have low standards when we talk about Sabrina)

last song listened to: Helpless - Hamilton OBC

no. of blankets you sleep with: 1

random fact(s): if given the chance again, I would go on a date in high school. Also try to exert more effort in my appearance back then i looked like an honest to god M E S S (tbh i still do but now i have eyebrow liner on) hsajhsajhh

FIVE

10 things I can’t stop listening to (at the moment)

Run Away - TXT

Work It - Sabrina Carpenter

Euphoria - BTS

Song Cry - Yeonjun

Helpless - Hamilton OBC

Satisfied - Hamilton OBC

Journey to the past - Anastasia OBC

Lost in the Woods - Frozen OST

Perfect Song - Sabrina Carpenter

Friends - BTS

[thebvtchinghour]

( JACK MULHERN, TWENTY-ONE, HE/HIM )┊seems like CYRUS OZMAN has left the isle to come over to auradon. they are the child of THEODORA and have TWO SIBLINGS. i’ve heard they’re known to be CHARMING + MOODY. rumor has it they HAVE teamed up with the villains. maybe we should keep an eye on this one. ( hylia )

                         ❛  girl , would it kill you just to throw a little bit of attention ??? ❜                             playlist. pinterest. to listen as you read.                             ( plz ignore the playlist cover + fc section of the board ; normally                             cyrrie’s fc is. a lil bit different. first time i’m using jack for him bc                              grizz in the society is That Bitch. ) click for more under the cut !!!                              tws : bullying , toxic relationships , depression ,                             drugs & alcohol ( mention ) ,  smoking ( mention )

not much of an introduction rn bc i’m a lil tired and sick so i’ma try and keep this relatively short !! Cyrus is a well-beloved OC of mine I’ve had for about three years , but this is the first time I’m writing him as a child of Theodora since his creation. So yeah , here we go !

HISTORY

On the Isle, Cyrus was a much different child than the man he is today ; believe it or not , he used to be sweet , quiet , polite , etc. - but growing up on the Isle hardens you , and unfortunately Cyrus wasn’t spared that fate.

Bullied as a kid for the reasoning he just didn’t like to be bad like most of the other kids , he’d prefer to keep to himself and draw everything in sight - until that bullied escalated , and Cyrus would eventually grow tired of it , even going as far as physically defending himself when receiving the same.

And he always was a natural pickpocket ; maybe it wasn’t the toughest means of proving himself , but sticky fingers were formed in an effort to ‘ fit in ’ - and also , he had a fear of growing poor due to the already unsavory conditions of the Isle.

So... yeah. Baby never had many friends.

When he was a teenager , he fell hard for his first boyfriend - but it was evident Cyrus was only being used and was never truly cared for , given his boyfriend would only talk to him if he brought him something shiny. And then when Cyrus would turn up empty-handed , it would be like he never existed. 

So when the VKs came over from the Isle... it really , really angered Cyrus when his boyfriend immediately ghosted him to try and romance the pretty rich royals of Auradon.

Their relationship was never healthy - but besides his siblings, his boyfriend was the only person in his life that never left him. Until now. And here he was alone, again.

So this would lead a lonely boy to dive deep into the magic he’d always been talented with on the Isle , that nobody else knew how much potential he had save for his family. He’d study , now focusing on solely becoming powerful in magic to the point he’d even call himself magic to feel better about himself.

And six months later , with research and practice and building up a reputation for himself as an underground magic prodigy , he only wanted two things: power , and money , to laugh in the face of those that had only kicked him down in his past. Even though , he knew he was only lying to himself , and the only thing he’d ever want in his life was love.

PERSONALITY & FACTS

Basics - Cyrus is trans male, panromantic pansexual w/ a slight lean towards men, diagnosed bipolar ( like me so I promise u I know what I’m talkin about ) and again - one of my favorite OCs to write. Ever. Like normally he’s the very first OC I bring into groups.

So in a nutshell !! Cyrus is a major facade - on the outside , he acts like an arrogant party boy only concerned with getting money and using magic for the prior reason. He does magic “favors” for people and essentially is sort of a magic dealer in that sense - enchanted objects, spells, you name it? He’ll sell you it.

But this is to hide the fact that he is actually scared , lonely , and hurt. He’s too afraid to admit that to anyone since he does NOT want to be used and hurt again. He has a huge heart - but he doesn’t want anyone to know that. It’s easier to act like you don’t have feelings ; or at least , that’s what he thinks.

In reality , he just wants someone to give him attention , love , and care. He wants to be special to someone and valued - to be told he matters.

But that doesn’t mean Cyrus isn’t actually talented in his act - aside from being an INCREDIBLE witch , he’s also extremely charismatic and can talk his way out of almost any situation. It’s what makes him such a good thief , too , since he can easily distract.

By his mouth. Because he never shuts the fuck up.

He has a habit of drinking and partying as also to fit in this mask , to try and numb himself to fill that annoying fucking hole he feels in his chest. And the euphoria of it all is all temporary - in this sense , it’s also why he practices more... costy forms of magic.

He attends parties and social gatherings a lot , yes , but every time he knows he’d rather be home alone.

So I also mentioned he IS siding with the villains - ...because one of them is paying him. This is unknown to nobody except the people on the side of the villains , and in reality , Cyrus is only working for them because of the money and also because of revenge on his ex for abandoning him like he was nothing. But he needs to be pulled back to reality and realize that it’s not worth it.

Big into Pagan witchcraft , too !! Tarot cards , crystals , divination - you name it. He almost always has crystals on his person whether they’re in the forms of rings , pendants , earrings - anything. Also regularly smokes a pipe full of opium incense as a stress reliever ( bc yk... wicked witch of the west... opium is from poppy seeds... )

Admittedly falls a lot into classic witch imagery and stuff like his mom because frankly? He just thinks it’s funny. He can ride a broom, sometimes wears large black floppy hats with sunglasses, even has a pair of ( faux ) ruby boots. A lot of his shirts also have a black and white striped pattern.

Also I’m gonna share his clothing aesthetic bc frankly I think it’s cool - lots of chokers, leather jackets, sunglasses, laced fingerless gloves, black painted nails, striped shirts, LOTS OF BLACK... he’s also rly fond of headbands.

Has a huge fear of water thanks to knowing what it does to his mom.

He’s always had an interest in ghosts and the supernatural - trying to practice necromancy for that reason to speak with the dead.

Most people expect his favorite color to be green - but shockingly? It’s blue.

Inspirations bc I love that shit !!

Sabrina Spellman ( CAOS )

Theodora ( duh )

Madison Montgomery & Misty Day ( AHS: Coven )

Violet Harmon ( AHS: Murder House )

Midna & Princess Zelda ( The Legend of Zelda )

Klaus Hargreeves ( The Umbrella Academy )

WANTED CONNECTIONS 

SO. I’d love like... a Weird Sisters like connection of three people ( including Cyrus ) who specialize in magic and hang together and cause trouble with it?? All the time??? Please give me this??

Listen gimme folks Cyrus has dealt magic shit too. Please. Please. This can either end positively or negatively considering he is the way he is.

People who know Cyrus and are aware pretty much everything about him is just an act.

People who spite him bc of this

People who want to HELP him bc of this

PLEEEEEEEEEEEASE

Someone he was going to curse for someone else but then chickened out at the last minute bc I’ll be honest he’s not heartless and he certainly would feel bad 

People he never got along with on the Isle tbh

ppl who genuinely want to be his friend but he keeps pushing away bc dude has trust issues for days

.........maybe the ex-boyfriend? Maybe????

hook-ups bc homie certainly has a habit of sleeping around

unrequited crushes?? exes?? that stuff bc let’s make all my sons cry???

also would love sort of like a skinny love where he feels one way towards a muse and they reciprocate but he can’t be w/ them bc he’s well aware of all his issues and shit ( this would have to be decided after checking out chemistry and stuff )

just eneMIES PLEEEEEEEEEEEEASE

magic rivals that are constantly trying to one-up each other

ummmm also feel free to brainstorm w/ me bc this is getting long !!

 i’m gonna end this here bt yeah !! please feel free to hmu for plotting or my discord - rocky lynch lovebot / hylia.#0329 . :^) so sorry this is messy nnnnnnnnnng

[bpd-black]

hey guys, so this is gonna be a long ass post, but here’s the tldr version: i love you and i hope you continue to learn about yourselves, and advocate for your mental wellbeing cause y'all are literally so beautiful and important and an integral part of our universe, the world literally wouldn’t be the same without you ✊🏾💕

SO, i just wanted to let y'all know that if you’ve ever messaged me (and this is for my black followers, btw, the rest of y'all … i don’t know why tf you’re here, but none of this is for you so ✌🏾bye, you can leave lol) please please know that i almost always read whatever’s in my inbox right away, and that i do care about your questions and what you have to say, even when i don’t answer right away or at all. you guys reaching out to me is NEVER bothersome. NEVER dumb. NEVER ridiculous. and tbh, it’s always flattering to think anyone would come to me w/ mental health concerns, considering that this blog literally started as a place for me to just vent out into the void & that i used to block anyone that followed me, lol.

(i jus didn’t want people to follow my blog ??? idk, i just felt like i had no other outlet to scream, and i was in a really bad place back then, idek, it made sense at the time. anyway, NOW this blog is a place for me to store information, affirmations and links to resources that i find informative or helpful. and i actually really love getting feedback (cough and validation cough) from you guys 💖 so pls, just know that you mean a lot to me.)

THE THING IS, though: i’m still not a professional. and when it comes to something as serious as mental health (especially in the black community) i just feel like i still have too much learning to do and too much healing to do before i’m qualified to offer any real advice. rn, all i have to say to most of y'all is ‘damn, thas unfortunate, me too’ and i really don’t want to give anyone a half assed answer like that, lol. it might take me a while to research what you wanna know, so yeah. bls be patient with me.

also i kinda wanted to introduce myself, since i don’t think i’ve ever posted an intro on this blog lol:

in summary, i’m a twenty one year old black girl, gay as hell, still living at home, still unemployed, still on leave from college, and still struggling just to shower and get out of bed every day :)) which sucks and i hate my life rn and i battle with like, intense self hatred cause a lot of my family is very disappointed in me and, quite frankly, i’m very disappointed with myself.

moving on, lol, more about my mental state: i’ve only ever been professionally diagnosed with depression and gad, though i personally believe i experience too many bpd symptoms to rule out the possibility that i am, in fact, borderline, and so i consider myself as such.

(( a small rant about that real quick: imo, and tbh, labels are just terms that researchers make up to help organize studies, keep track of patterns, and come up with plans and solutions to help large groups of people. so, basically, i am a strong advocate of NOT beating yourself up too much when it comes to finding the ‘right’ label for you and NOT attacking someone else that you don’t think ‘fits’ the description for a disorder or illness according to your research. like, yeah, fake ass neurotypicals are annoying as hell and they can all choke but ! the only person who really knows what’s going on in someone’s brain is that person themselves. and NO ONE owes you a dissertation on their mental struggles just to ‘prove’ they’re in pain. so, imo !!! it’s just a lot more important to recognize and identify what SYMPTOMS you struggle with, and the severity of said symptoms, and worry about umbrella terms later !! cause that insight will make it easier to look for help and advice and !! mental illness and personality disorders are all on a spectrum. so yeah. go easy on yourselves 💕 anyway, i struggled a lot with that concept, and for far too long, SO just wanted to get that out of the way before i continue (hope that made any sense) but i digress!!! ))

i also struggle with both intrusive and suicidal thoughts, a few minor self destructive habits, and i’m currently taking medication for my depression and anxiety. and tbh, though i still have some pretty terrible days, i will say the meds have helped a LOT. and i’m so glad, cause i’m the first in my family to openly take medication for a mental illness (stigma stigma god fucking stigma) and i was so so scared the meds would just make it worse, but they didn’t, so yeah :)

also, and this is a bit personal (but i’m willing to be a bit vulnerable with you guys, if it’ll help anyone at all) but, i planned on killing myself last year. it didn’t happen (evidently lol) but i ended up staying at the hospital for a week and then participating in a two week partial program after that. i’m currently looking for a new partial program or support group that i can join, and i’m trying to get a job and get back to school.

also, i have been seeing a therapist since my senior year of high school (which !!is a bit of a wild tale tbh, but long story short, my parents literally refused to believe mental illness was a real thing for the longest time. and it wasn’t until i told them i literally wouldn’t graduate high school if i didn’t get some help that they believed me.) my first two therapists were awful racist white women (still fuckin hate them btw) but my third therapist was a really cool white woman who actually introduced me to my current therapist who is this really amazing black woman and so far, i feel like she’s been the best fit for me. but i’ve very recently had to put my therapy sessions on pause cause i’m poor as hell and couldn’t pay for them anymore, so yeah. and, tbh, that’s really been stressing me the fuck out as of late, but what i’m trying to do is make the most of whatever other resources are available to me (helplines, textlines, self care strategies, forums, blogs, google, etc.) and i still have a social worker so idk, i should be okay 👌🏾

anyway, that was a lot of oversharing but, now you all know where i am atm ;) and i only share this with you guys cause a lot of asks i receive are about feeling like shit for not knowing what pd you have, or about being too poor to afford good health care, or not knowing how to convince your conservative ass black parents that you’re dying and need help and like !!! all of those topics are so so important to me on a very personal level !!! and i wanna help y'all so bad. but tbqh, i’m still trying to figure this shit out myself 😕 so, what i’m hoping is, just by letting you know more about my experience and being as honest as i can about it, at least one of you readin this might feel a little less lonely dealing with your pain. idk.

anyway, second to last thing: fr tho, i hope y'all know that it is both a rare, and amazing trait to be as insightful as so many of you are. even just trying to figure out ‘god, what is wrong with me’ and taking the time to do the research, is self care. it’s defiance. it’s acknowledging that a better life is possible, and it’s straight up refusing to settle for the pain you’re in now, for a life less fulfilling than what you know you deserve. i feel like the generations before us didn’t do that enough (with good reason, tbh, even today it’s still hard to know who we can trust) but it’s high time black people start healing our minds and our hearts. so power to you ✊🏾

and yeah. that’s all i wanted to say this morning. i’ve been wanting to say all that for a while, but wasn’t sure where the hell to start. i just hope that was all coherent and made sense, lol. don’t ever hesitate to message me guys. i may be an emotional wreck that takes too long to reply, but i do love you. lol.

and please please please continue to research things on your own as well, like. keep up with the latest studies, the TED talks, the blavity articles, the mental health blogs etc. etc. learn as much as you can about how to take the best care of you, even if my executively dysfunctional ass can’t help right away lol.

also !! (last thing, i promise) a quick update about this blog: i edited it a bit, namely my tagging system, to make it a bit more useful. i won’t go through all my tags here (maybe i’ll add an about page and a tag page later) but, for example, there’s my new affirmations tag (full of helpful reminders that i like to think about everyday) my positivity tag (just, yk, positive shit that makes think positive thoughts) and my black tag (whatever content i feel like pertains to just my fellow black + mentally ill peeps, cause lbr a lot of our struggles only happen at the intersection of both identities) 💕

i also have a music tag for music recommendations!! cause i like to believe music is very healing all on its own ;)

AAAAND that’s it lol 😘 stay safe out there guys !! this world is wild but, tbh, we know better than anyone what it means to make the very most out of our lives no matter what. happy black history month 🖤