#like it's kinda flirty in a way but they hated each others guts

[amlli]

"that's not a 'no' !" 🤭😋

[xoxochb]

Can I request a rivals-to-lovers mechanic!AU where Leo and the reader (f or gn) both work at an auto shop and get on each others nerves? :D 🙌🏼

Like they’ll intentionally pass the wrongs tool, trip the other person if they walk by when they’re under a car, scaring each other while working, etc. Then one day they have a super rude customer or maybe even someone annoying constantly hitting on one of them, and the other jumps in to help them. For like the rest of the day after that the reader sees Leo different and finds themself admiring him all sweaty and greasy. Normally Leo’s all flirty and the reader just makes some jab back but now they’re kinda lost for words and struggling to say something witty back (or maybe they are finally playing into it??? Idk 👀)

At the end of the day they’re the only two left to clean up shop and by the end of it they end up making out or smth? 🧍‍♀️

⋆·˚ ༘ * whether I'm gonna flip you off or pull you into the closet

warnings: mechanic au, sexual insinuations, heavy make out at the end, violent threats, brief vulgar language

pairing: leo valdez x fem! reader

you and leo valdez had a complicated relationship. actually- scratch that you hated each others guts. however in your defense leo was the one who started the rivalry, always trying to be better for you, showing off, tripping you, and restricting you from using tools you had threatened him with, and who would you be if you didn’t torture him back?

pranks would have been an understatement, partial violence was included in your encounters. you recall the time you nearly shoved a screwdriver down his throat, and if it wasn’t for your boss walking in you would’ve successfully got it down. another time you had almost cut his hand off with a saw, he holds this one against you ever day of your life

although you were supposed to be ‘enemies’ leo couldn’t deny the fact that you were incredibly hot. he knew he wasn’t meant to, he should hate you, that’s how it has to be. however everytime you threatened him, your hair disheveled, heavy breathing from the heat, when you took off a layer of clothing (although it was usually nothing), the way you were good with your hands, and the way you tied your hair up- he was totally down bad

unfortunately his thoughts were interrupted by the very person he thought of:

“wrench, now!”

“what’s the magic word?” leo teases

“If you don’t hand me a wrench I’ll snip your fingers off one by one with these pliers!” you threaten

he obeys and hands you the wrench, knowing fully well that you wouldn’t think twice of fulfilling your threat. he leans on the open window of the car you’re working on, but you don’t appreciate him watching you

“what do you want?”

“nothing, just bored”

you sit up from your laying position, throwing a glare in his direction “if you don’t get away from me right now I’m going to beat the shit out of you”

the sound of the door opening prevents you from finishing your sentence, you stand up and hit leo’s head before walking to the new customer

you lean against the counter, arms crossed below you “how can I help you?”

the customer smirks, eyeing your partially exposed cleavage “I know exactly how you can help me”

you stand up, pulling the top of your shirt higher “I’m not laughing. what do you want?”

“I think you know”

leo notices from afar, an uncomfortable look on your face, pulling your shorts lower, shirt higher. even if you’re enemies he knows he can’t leave you to deal with the perverted customer. he walks over to you, throwing an arm around your waist with a peck to your cheek. you whisper a ‘thank you’ low enough for only him to hear. he hopes this won’t be the only thing you whisper in his ear

“hey man, why don’t you leave my girlfriend alone”

the boy gives you one last look with a scoff and leaves. had leo really helped you? he never did that! maybe he isn’t so bad after all. you stop yourself before you have anymore positive thoughts about him, you can’t like leo valdez, he’s your enemy, that would be weird! but he did help you… but you can’t deny the fact he’s incredibly attractive, even if he’s always tormenting you. no! you can’t think this, he would never like you back even if you were friends

“get off of me” you peel his arm off your waist and walk back to your workspace

leo follows close behind “careful, for a second there I think you liked being close to me”

“it was only to get that creep away from me, you know that”

“so you’re admitting that you liked my arm around you?”

as much as you want to stab him, part of you wants him to touch you again, maybe even pull him in the closet and make him forget about any hatred between the two of you

“whatever” you roll your eyes

“I think you like me”

“I think it’s your turn to work on this, I’m taking a break!”

you hand him a few tools and push him into the car you had been previously working on. he gives you an angry look before beginning to follow your orders. you sit in the seat you had finished fixing and watch him work, partially to make sure he doesn’t mess something up, partially to admire him, something you shouldn’t have been doing. but when you watched him work, sweaty and covered in grease, you discarded any negative thoughts about him

leo smirks when he notices your wandering eyes “need something?”

“just bored” you quote his earlier words with a sarcastic smile on your lips, the same ones leo wants to kiss until they’re crimson

you sit in silence for a while, the only noise being tools clattering and occasional curses, until your boss walked in and asked you and leo to clean and close up. he discards the car he had been working on and puts the tools away, then walks over to you at the counter where you put away unorganized files

“finished?” he asks

“why do you ask?” you throw the remaining folders in a random drawer and lean your back against the counter to face him, crossing your arms

leo shrugs, taking a step closer “just making conversation”

“and if I don’t want to talk?” you snap

“I can think of something else we can do” he puts his hands on your hips

you slide your hands around his neck, leaning in, lips just about touching “what do you have in mind?”

leo closes the small distance so roughly you’re sure if you hadn’t been leaning on the counter you would’ve fell back. his hands roam your body, then stopping on the back of your thighs, using whatever strength he could to lift you on the counter. he trails his hands up lightly, until they’re under your shirt, fingers digging into the bare skin of your waist

you pull away to catch your breath, but leo doesn’t want to stop, instead travels his kisses to your neck and you throw your head back for him to have easier access. when he finds the spot where your pulse beats rapidly you tug at his hair and he lightly moans at the sensation, then connecting his lips with yours once again. you sigh in contentment, lightening your grip on his curls, instead twirling them around your fingers, and puts one hand on your upper thigh, tracing ‘mine’ on your skin

hatred? yeah it’s long gone by now

[incomprehensiblelentils]

okay this is stupid as fuck but. the girl I like thinks I hate her. and school has just finished and I might never see her again. and idk we had a weird flirty thing despite kinda hating each other's guts? anyway do i text her? i rlly like her but I'm overthinking this - what do I say? will it be weird?

awww buddy this isn't stupid at all <3

having extremely limited romantic experience myself, and absolutely none of the antagonistic flirting variety, I would say...it's absolutely worth a shot, because being vulnerable and honest is a good skill to practice! But do your best to have realistic expectations of what might happen. If it were me I would say something like "hey...I wanna hang out with you outside of school, are you interested in that?" I would keep it pretty casual initially since I have no idea what exactly you mean by "kinda hating each others' guts" and for all we know, she might block your number or cuss you out or just never respond. I would be emotionally prepared for any of these situations! I would also be prepared for it to feel weird no matter what you say or what happens because vulnerability (especially with people you have a somewhat negative relationship with) is weird!

I have only confessed my feelings twice, both times with close friends, and the first time I was a fucking coward and wrote it in his yearbook so I wouldn't have to deal with the emotional fallout face-to-face (D, if you are reading this, I am sorry my 18yo self was so embarrassing lmao) and he didn't feel the same and it was VERY WEIRD OF ME TO DO IT THAT WAY and if I could go back in time I would absolutely do it over IM or something less permanent instead. The second time I did it via texts at 1 AM after having texted all day (this was normal for us) and she did feel the same and we just celebrated our sixth wedding anniversary so like, sometimes this works! But sometimes it doesn't, and make sure you've got a Word doc or a good friend or a box of tissues or whatever on hand to help you through the hurt if it goes poorly. I hope it doesn't! Best of luck to you!

[rose-demica]

Hi there, its Athena. Welcome to my new Thursday Ask-A-Thon where its basically a Thursday version of my Sunday Ask-A-Thon where I ask ya'll about your wips: How are things going, hows life and how's your characters? What are they up to?

Hello!! Thank you for having me!! I'm so excited! I probably flood your blog with the amount of likes (and reblogs) I put on your stuff :/

My characters are... up to a lot of mischief.

Two who are supposed to hate each others guts keep flirting with each other. Like yes, end goal is them in a relationship, but its very contractory to the future stuff I've already written. I'm trying to figure out how to twist it out of the super flirty so I don't have to rewrite everything, I'm hoping as they develop a friendship and working relationship it settles to no flirting so I can bring it back in a hopefully more genuine way. (Violetta and Kyoya Ootori, Ouran Host Club fanfic)

Then funnily enough, my two characters who are supposed to be hardcore flirting and super into each other are kinda just... falling flat. The little moments I do sneak in just seem... forced... (Daniel and Katherine, unnamed movie, original)

And for a third (because I continually have at least 7 I'm bouncing through) is probably the also unnamed but nicknamed 'spy affairs' or 'THE PURPLE NOTEBOOK ONE' as my sister always says super excitedly when I tell her I'm working on it, novel. It also has characters that are meant to be flirting, but I'm struggling with this one. The MC is in love, soulmate love, with one guy, but is faking love for another for her cover story, and I love the original pair so much that I can't help but write about and focus on them. Even though the story is supposed to follow her cover and the second guy. Although it does help give hints that all is not as it seems, but also it feels like too much.

Thank you so much for asking!! I need to follow your example and just share about my wip's and writing progress, but I am so nervous that people are going to get too hooked and I'll move on without finishing them and upset everyone. The fear/anxiety is real hahaa.

[ultrastarbee]

Hey bee ^^ can I req an AU about Ran being a Ceo or something where him and reader has to get married (arranged marriage) and at first ran was super mean towards her while reader did everything to make amends (cook for him and stuff) Because he thinks reader was the one who planned the marriage and stuff and then when truth comes to light, the reader was hurt and ran tried making it up to her, along the way he realised he slowly developed feelings and how wonderful reader are ...so happy ending?

It's angst to fluff (you can put nsfw too ^^) , I'm just in a very shitty mood today :')

-penguin

Hello lovely Penguin! I'm sorry to hear about it, hope you feel better soon, honey. I really enjoy writing for Ran, so let's give this boy more love! I guess I'm on the marriage head today? This is the third request I received about this kind of things. It's adorable and you may be getting my first nsfw here. Maybe, maybe? Yeah I did it. Please call all the bees back to the hive, Ran is stealing my tumblr purity help!

Title: A not-so-bad husband Request: sure! Couple: Ran x fem!reader Category: Angsty to fluffy with some smut Content Warning: arranged marriage, couple fight, bad language, nsfw content, condomless sex Word Count: 1.394 Summary: Ran need to marry you so he can be the head of the company. He hates the idea, but does it anyway. Your marriage sucks till he knows you weren't behind this arranged marriage A/N: I liked the way things went here. I like to write longer like this for one character

MASTERLIST  .......  RULES  .......  SERIES LIST

This is not the life you dreamed about. You weren't looking for a husband now, but your father made the decision for you. Before your father retired he made Haitani Ran marry you to be the new CEO of the company. Even if it's an arranged marriage you can try to make a happy life of it, can't you? Not if it depends on your husband. Ran is furious about the marriage, so you wonder why the fuck he accepted your father's proposal? Even worse: Ran is not mad with your father, he's mad at you. As if you wanted to marry someone like him.

You look at your husband sitted across you at the table. He is eating the dinner you made after a fight you two had. Your husband is really handsome with his long dark hair, violet eyes and strong body. Before you two married Ran was always funny and kinda flirty around you, but now he is just serious or angry all the time. You wonder if it was such a shitty deal for him marrying you. Are you so bad for him to make his mood change so much? Even though you are husband and wife you don't do anything as a couple. you two have separated bedrooms, only see each other at night and rarely eat together. "What?" Ran caught you staring at him. You sigh and take your dinner to the fridge. You can eat later without his heavy atmosphere around.

You lean over a wall exhausted of this marriage while some tears run over your face. You are a good wife. You do what you can to make amends with your husband even though you don't even know why Ran is so mad. You too had no choice on marrying him and no one see you complaining about it. Maybe he hated your guts even before. Still eating at the dining room Ran hears you sobbing, but he doesn't move. He knows you are miserable, but he is not happy either. Ran gives you time to recompose yourself and as soon as he can't hear you anymore he takes his empty plate to the kitchen only to find you asleep curled up sitting agains a wall.

"Fuck" Ran knows he messed up. He shouldn't treat his wife like this, but knowing you made such a low move to make him marry you makes his blood boil. Even being so angry Ran takes you on his arms like you were just a small doll and leaves you on your own bed. Ran had never enterd your bedroom before. It was so different from his and smelled like lavender. The place looks comfy. After leaving you on your bed Ran gets closer to your window thinking about closing it, but he stops now watching at the lights outside. At night the city lights look like touchable stars.

You wake up and soon is aware of his presence. Your husband never entered your bedroom before and he even carried you there, maybe Ran's heart is getting softer towards you. The outside lights are flashing on his distracted face making him look even more handsome than usual. "Ran?" your sleepy voice calls him back to the world.

"Fuck off" he closes the window now with the same disgusted face as ever.

"Why are you always like this?" you are so fucking tired of this treatment you decide it's time to put an end to it.

"Why you ask? Well, maybe I like to decide thing for myself!" Ran's voice is dry and low.

"Do you think I don't? I'm so miserable in this marriage as you!" you snap at him and Ran's face grew angrier "I thought we could find a way, but you don't want it, do you?"

"WHY THE HELL WOULD I?" now Ran is screaming over your cynicism. He laughs, but no humor on it "how the fuck can you say that after trapping me on a marriage?".

"Really, Ran? Do you really think I wanted this? You are the least person I wanted to be with!" it's a lie, but it hurts both of you anyway "I will talk to my father again. Maybe he can reverse all this mess".

"Yeah, call daddy to complain about what you chose" Ran is ready to leave your room, but he stops as he hears your next words.

"I didn't choose this, Ran" your voice is full of sorrow "I was happy the way I was living my life, I wouldn't have done this to us".

He left without saying anything more. You couldn't sleep that night and so didn't Ran, that's why he came back to your room. You hear a knock on the door and invite him in. You are sitting on your bed looking at him. The outside lights the only thing lighting up the room.

"Listen, you really has nothing to do with this mess?" Ran's voice is way softer than the last time. You shake your head and he comes closer, sitting by your side on the bed.

"My father knew you were single, so he made the marriage contract" you explain without looking at him "thought you knew".

"No" Ran sighs. He was treating you so bad and now he is so fucking regretful he can't even look at you.

"I'm sorry if I made you mad or uncomfortable. I promise I will look for a good lawyer to cancel the contract with my father" you apologize and Ran's heart gets upset. He is the one who should apologize.

"Please don't" without even thinking much about it Ran holds both of your hands and is now kneeling in front of you "Y/n, please keep being my wife. I promise I will be a good husbad. You deserve a good husband. I can be good for you".

"I would love to keep being your wife, Ran" you touch his face softly.

"I will make up to you, you will see" he smiles to you. How long has it been since he smiled to you? Your heart beats fast looking at him.

You liked Ran even before you two were trapped in an arranged marriage, but the feelings were pushed aside since he started to treat you shitty. Now Ran is on his knees with the most flirty smile he ever showed you. The outside lights painting his face purple, green and then red. Ran lays down his head over your thighs and starts kissing them. He never saw the appeal on nightdresses, but now he understands it. You can't help but look at his focused lustful face. Ran proceeds on licking your inner thighs wich he just pushes aside his way to your pussy. He stops to take some hair off his face, so you hold all of his hair before pulling him to you again. You hear a small giggle. Ran likes how you know what you want and now you want him to be your good husband.

You are short of breath as Ran's tongue goes deeper, but your husband thinks he is funny, so when he feels your grip on his hair tighten he goes back to just kiss your thighs. "Ran, stop messing around" you pant pushing his head away from you thighs. "Don't like the game, my pretty wife?" Ran has his signature grin on, but his eyes are hungry. First he gets you both standing up to get rid of your clothes. As soon as the clothes are thrown on the floor your hands are all over him. You loved his strong body he usually hides under his clothes, but Ran will not waste any more time. Taking you in his arms you are once again on your bed, now laying dow with him kissing you deeply. Slowly sliding his length inside you Ran is careful to know if you are comfortable with him inside, but holy shit you are beyond comfortable. He smiles sinfully watching delight. Your moans are the only thing he cares while moving. Ran's big hands grip on both your sides as he moves even faster. Stronger. Deeply. He takes out cumming on your belly while kissing you passionately.

The outside lights red, purple and green painting both your bodies now. Ran will do his best to keep you happy as his wife.

[i-need-air]

"Dude" — Bakugou Katsuki x Reader.

Summary: Your former bully, Midori, has confessed her undying love for one of the most famous guys at U.A.; you're just venting gossiping about it with Mei, not knowing Bakugou Katsuki is right around the corner, listening;

Warnings: None. Well, Bakugou Katsuki having various anger induced strokes > the normal > no warnings; light crackfic? subtle ending;

Word count: 4.5k;

[ Part 2 ];

"She confessed to him." You grinned, throwing a bunch of fries into your mouth like the absolute animal you were.

Mei on the other hand continued her work on whatever in the world her new prototype, or "baby", was. Still, you had the honor of having half of her attention, which was a compliment to say at least.

She just smiled, shaking her head, leading you to continue, not knowing a blond was quite literally behind the corner, just outside the door leading to the support department, frown on his face.

"She came to class giggling like an idiot saying she's got a plan." You made a face into the distance, remembering your classmate's obnoxious squeal. "Ugh, she started telling the Divas how she's gonna have The Bakugou Katsuki in the bag." An ugly snort left your body, which earned an amused chuckle from Mei.

Both of you were pretty well known to be very good friends, and as much as you hated to admit it, you were both quite the social pariahs too. She was a little bit strange or weird, as some called her, but not for a single second she cared, which was the reason you admired the girl so much in the first place. Meanwhile you've taken the role of the bitch of the whole school by far. Sadly, you were placed in the same class as your archenemy, only increasing your chances of being called said endearing term.

Middle-school was a nightmare to say at least, getting bullied for your looks, the way you spoke or dressed, anything really as long as you were the one being mocked. And who was the one doing the bullying? Midori. Stunning, graceful, baby-faced Midori. Petite yet elegant, a devil in disguise. Whoever crossed her path suffered her malice unless she had something to gain from them.

And now, sweet Midori was in the U.A.'s General Studies, coinciding with you in the majority but not all classes. It had to do with the tragedy that your quirk was so rare that the principal Nezu had to adjust a new schedule just for you. Just kidding, it was amazing. The actual tragedy was seeing her face every day.

Back to your heartbreaking backstory and origin; time made you tough, comments made you build a wall so tall and thick nobody could crumble it. Backstab after backstab made you learn that not everyone has good intentions, but in your loneliness you found Hatsume Mei. So honest and dedicated, so raw and passionate. A good person. The type of person your parents promised you'd someway cross paths with and gain such a strong friendship that nothing could tear it apart.

Becoming friends with her was easy, kinda. It took snapping back at Midori when she started her normal bullying routine on Mei, which ignored it without a care. You stepped in and the rest is history. It did feel good though, calling her a pathetic bitch before turning to the stranger with a cool gadget in her hands to compliment it. And, since she's a sucker for her babies, you had to deal with an hour of sparkly eyes and monologues about her plans and prototypes.

Funny girl, Mei. You remember thinking but the following day you passed by her usual spot to fill your curiosity, asking if she did solve the problem she was complaining about.

"He was the one she was planning to ask out?" She screamed at you, head inside a giant metal gauntlet and the reason you two started talking about said man in particular. News were extra-fresh anyway.

"Oh, yeah!" You shook your head, ashamed to exist in the same general proximity as a person like your former bully. "He's gonna be so rich and famous!" A high pitched squeal left your mouth as you tried to copy her voice. "Poor fucking guy, if only he knew."

"But people know she's a bitch!" She screamed again, repairing or adjusting something with almost all of her body inside the gauntlet. A smile, genuine and soft this time, formed on your face. The pink-haired girl wasn't one to talk bad about others or even care, but it was clear she wasn't particularly fond with Midori either, although the conversation was more for you to vent rather than gossip. Sure it was.

"Like the people from the Hero Department even care about us, the commoners." With a roll of the eyes, you followed. "If he's smart, he'll run away. If he's an asshole, he could use her too."

"What do you mean?" Pink flocks of hair suddently submerged from the gadget, eyes curious zooming on you. That probably got more than 50% of her attention and it was a new personal goal while she was at the workshop.

With shrugged shoulders, your answer came nonchalant. "He could date her and dump her like she's nothing. Would serve her right for all the shit she's talking about him." But the only response you got was a short quizzical look, followed by your exagerated sigh. "She's talking shit about him constantly, but then says he's hot and that his personality doesn't matter anyway. Money, fame, looks. She has a whole fucking life-plan! Then calls him a rabid dog!"

"Woah—" that surprised her.

"Woah indeed! Insane. It's insane. I don't know the guy but no one deserves that shit." When you got no response, you continued your speech, munching in the food with passionate hunger, words coming out almost indistinguishable. "Doubt he'd play her though. He looks like a smart guy. I've seen the Sports Festival—" you picked up your burger, giving it heart eyes. "—and I've seen the news. He's probably a good guy too, the issue is people don't see that and... Well, I understand what's it to be judged... Not many have what it takes to be a real hero but he does. Hope he finds happiness in life." Much talk for someone that doesn't know shit about the guy in particular, but even so faint, your gut instinct was trained well enough to spot malice and he lacked that. "And a therapist." And there's the little shit in you that had to drop a cheeky comment.

Mei's gaze turned downwards and even if you could see her brain do mental gymnastics to solve whatever problem she had in front of her super-eyes, she also contemplated your words with great care.

"He comes here from time to time—" she grins, smacking the grenade looking gauntlet with her weird utensil. "I noticed you two are similar." Your face twisted, eyes wide towards the girl.

Similar how? He was loud, bold with a foul mouth, definitely needed a therapist for those unresolved anger issues... But he was also bright as in whenever he went, people looked in his direction, like he shined; obviously strong, also from what you've heard smart, popular, lucky to be surrounded by kind people. Example being that very nice pink girl that had a joyous conversation with you the very first day of school and, much to your surprise, continued greeting and having sweet small talks with you every single time you saw each other. Or the blond haired guy that showed off a little bit too much and made dumb flirty comments with no bad intentions, the same blond that waved at you with enthusiasm when you'd cross paths. There was the red-head, Kirishima, that was an absolute gentleman, opening doors for you even if you had two functioning hands and smiled so bright it made your corneas burn, or also the dark haired guy, Sero, that you've seen helping literally anyone in need around the school campus with an easy going attitude and gentle grins. Bakugou Katsuki was surrounded by good people, good heroes just as amazing as him and if they liked him, he must've definitely had some good in him, right? Another point appeared in your mental presentation about the brash hero in the making was that he was way too attractive but the wise burried deep inside of you made that particular point dissappear. No need to think about that. Overall you weren't even remotely similar. Not even close. Two completely different human beings from two completely different worlds that would never collide. With that being said, there was the small chance that Mei hinted for you to get a therapist too, who knows.

"How even—"

"I mean!" She screwed something in place. "I mean in your— determination?"

"I wouldn't know that." You muttered.

"He screams I'm gonna be the best every time he's here—"

"Cute..." You vomit that endearment without thinking, but thankfully it got ignored.

"—and it always reminds me of you." A small chuckle left your mouth.

"Don't make fun of me."

"You say it too~"

"I just heal, Mei, it's not the same." Principal Nezu's speech, the speech he gave your parents months into the first year as they found themselves aware of your power made you hold your words. You had it in you. The potential. If incredible people like your teachers, like Shuzenji Chiyo or Principal Nezu twisted things around for your quirk, for how rare and powerful it is, you'd accept it.

"But you're gonna be the best healer ever, aren't you?" She taunted.

"Of course. Which reminds me—!"

"Hmm?" Her attention faded away slightly, but it wasn't a problem.

She cheered, both at you and at her finished masterpiece and proceeded to eat too, passing through the lunch hour without interruption.

"Recovery Girl is putting me on active duty at the infirmary from now on. Finally!"

Innocent pale purple eyes stared into deep crimson ones, furrowed brows covering them.

—

Bakugou Katsuki wasn't one to enjoy being annoyed or surprised and this extra managed to make him feel both things in a short notice.

Everyone around him froze in fear or wonder, awaiting his response without breathing or moving an inch. Meanwhile Whoever-she-was held a pink envelope in front of him, a perfume too sweet coming from it making him want to literally gag in the spot.

Another thing the boy did not appreciate was to have someone bullshit him. His senses were telling him to back off, alarms ringing in his head and those purple eyes held hidden intentions; he wasn't having any of it.

"Fuck off." He snapped, yet his stance was casual as he refused to move out of her way since she was the one that had the audacity to run into him.

Some gasps, even coming from his so-called idiotic friends, could be heard and an indignant Bakubro behind him as he got slapped in the shoulder but he did not care. Not until her lips started to tremble as she retreated her confession letter towards her chest dramatically. His eyebrow started to twitch at the sight.

It was a spectacle for anyone surrounding him.

"What's going on?" Shushes and whispers.

"Bakugou Katsuki just got a confession!" Gossip.

"What!? Who?!" Confusion.

"You said Bakugou Katsuki?!" Shock.

"Oh, she's pretty!" Awe.

"He told her to Fuck off! What an asshole!" Outrage.

"Is that Midori?" Surprise.

"The nerve—" Anger.

"Midori from—" Disbelief.

"Oh, my God, she's really doing it~!" Giggles.

He frowned deeper. If people were to talk about him, they should be talking about all the crap he's been doing and all the lives he saved, not because of a fake bimbo decided to cross his path.

Bakugou wasn't stupid either. With time he knew these things would eventually come in his direction, stuff he'd have to deal with in the future as fame would take over, but not now. He did not have time to entertain this show anyway.

There was only one destination in his mind and she was keeping him in the middle of the whole school cafeteria with prying eyes on them both.

"Bakugou, do something, she's about to cry!" Dunce Face harshly whispered, but turned towards the white haired girl that looked devastated in front of them. "Ignore him! Ask me out, I would never make you cry!"

He rolled his eyes so back in his head it almost hurt. With a need to hurl the food he just ate, he made a step to leave the scene but small hands with claw-like fingernails gripped his arm and he looked at her in utter disgust.

"No, I would never! He—" she sniffled but had no tears in her eyes. He gave her a scowl, trying to take his arm out of her grip but she scratched him in place with her tiny rat hands. "You're the one I love! I—" her bangs covered her face as she continued her show.

"Bakugou! Dude! Do something!" Shitty Hair said, his dumb and blind trust in people buying the act. A vein almost popped on Bakugou's forehead.

"I fucking said—" he pulled his arm so hard she fell on her knees by his side. "Fuck. Off."

Another set of gasps filled the room.

"Bakugou!"

One thing he did not want, even if he could tell it was a foul theater, was to hurt somebody. His asshole act ended at that but his pride stopped him from saying anything.

Glancing to see if she's hurt, Pink Idiot was by her side, helping her up and asking way too many fucking questions.

"No, I'm fine..." she said with such a meek voice he scoffed, also hearing all the shit everyone around him was talking.

"He's such a brute."

"What a mean guy—"

"She's crying!"

"Fucking asshole."

He gritted his teeth.

After the disaster with the League of Villains in the first year, people started to respect him for who he was yet one single, minuscule shit like this and they were all at his jugular.

"I took Bakugou-san by surprise." She excused his behavior to Ashido, which then suggested they should eat lunch together sometimes to make up for the trouble after apologizing in his behalf.

"Yeah, we'd love to have you around! Isn't that right, Bakugou?" The apologetic and almost pleading voice of his blond friend, if he ever was going to call him that anymore, just made him bare his teeth. If they wanted to get played like fools it was their problem, not his.

And that's how he found himself eavesdropping on the weirdo and an extra.

And with a single "Whatever." he left the cafeteria, going to check if his gauntlets were ready, annoyance oozing off him, making the sea of people part from his path. Except he didn't notice you rushing away a little bit in front of him, holding a bag of food, all amused.

Why the fuck was everyone talking about him? Can't they fucking keep his pretty name outta their mouths? With time and without finding a reason why the hell he was glued in place, he listened attentively, his suspicions confirmed and his ego hurt, but whoever was talking about him calmed his nerves a lot. He just needed to put a face to that voice. Just to see who's gossiping about him, nothing else.

—

With a full belly and a whole afternoon to study by Recovery Girl's side, you marched towards the infirmary after you bid your farewell to Mei. There was still time to walk around, grab something sweet for later and save any poor soul that Midori decided to sink her teeth in. It was common at this point, you getting in between her and her victims and taking the hit, yet somehow also being called a bitch by everyone. That's how high-school worked. She did have friends and they spread any word she spat. Vultures.

It was fine though. Hero [Y/N] is there to save the day no matter what. You scoffed at your own stupidity, turning the corner just to step on a leg that was sprawled on the floor.

He clicked his tongue, getting up with no worry in the world, but made no action to leave, settling for observing and analyzing you way too intensely.

"Watch where the fuck you're going, idiot." The man of the hour, the guy you've defended in front of your friend just screamed at you as he dusted off the imprint of your shoe left on his pants. Meanwhile you just paled in place before regaining your composture.

"Why are you sitting on the floor?" You said, tilting your head with a frown, already knowing you will not apologize.

Unimpressed by what was going on, even if you truly couldn't point out what really was going on, you made an attempt to move past him towards the vending machines not far behind, but he caught your arm in a firm grip.

You blinked stupidly at the skin contact.

"Heard you were talkin' shit."

Your stomach dropped. Legs almost gave up too if it weren't for his iron grip holding you still. In the silence and at the satisfaction of the reaction you let out, he smirked and raised his chin, only Mei's singing voice coming from her workshop could be heard. Realization hit you. Hit you? Bitchslapped you in the face and left a mark for sure, because your cheeks started feeling heated, tingly.

He dragged you away, maybe to have the privacy to murder you in peace, but your common sense kicked in and you came back from the land of the mortified.

Much like he did before, action you saw with your two own eyes and repeated, you pulled out of his strong grip and stared as he turned towards you, mouth already opened to probably eat you alive.

"I wasn't talking shit about you, dude." You quickly spoke first.

"You don't fucking know me." He growled back, taking a step towards you but like hell you'd back down.

"Don't need to be besties to say what I said." Without understanding why he was so agitated, the only thing left to do after this beautiful turn of events was to defend the honor remaining in you, so you raised your chin to be at par with him. The action clearly took him by surprise, making him glare more, if even possible.

"I don't fucking appreciate when extras talk about me behind my back!"

"I don't give a shit what you appreciate, dude." Your laugh was the complete opposite of his menacing loud voice, like ying and yang.

"Bakugou, the name's fucking Bakugou, you extra!" Bakugou recovered quickly at your snappy self, getting more bothered as you talked.

"Okay, dude." His hands fisted, shaking in place as he stared you down but did not continue.

Silence; the hallway was now filled with silence as he boiled in his own anger and as you raised your brows in confusion. Now what? Was it time to leave? You've never met anyone like him, this was peculiar—

"NOW IT'S WHEN YOU FUCKING TELL ME YOUR SHITTY NAME, YOU FUCKING DUMBASS!"

A second passes; two; at the third you're wheezing your lungs out, laughing at the ridiculousness of the scenario.

"What the fuck are you LAUGHING AT?!" His voice got louder just to top your howling. You did not expect that.

Through a sigh, regaining your breath, you say "It's [L/N] [Y/N].", seeing him retreat in his form and cross his arms. He was still seizing you up.

"If you have shit to say to me, say it to my fucking face, understood?"

"I—... Say what now?"

"I—." He copied in a mock, getting an incredulous look from you. "You stupid or what?" Your upper lip lifted, ready to cuss him to infinity and beyond but he continued. "Like about that bitch from before and shit—" even if he still was loud, he placed his hands in his pockets and looked more interested in the way the tiles on the wall were placed instead of your person. "An' like you told the weirdo—"

No time to be shocked at the implied; his last word enraged you, making your body shake with rage. "Don't fucking dare to call her a weirdo ever again."

Like a challenge, he snapped his face back at you, ready to take it.

"Or what?"

"Listen here, fucker—" now that was a nice surprised face he was pulling. "Just because I gave you a pat on the back in there doesn't mean you can disrespect people just because you think you're the shit. You're not. Now get out of my fucking way." With a final push to his shoulder, your mind was focused on going to the infirmary, steam almost coming out of your nostrils.

"Hey, extra!"

Ignore him, ignore him, ignore him. went through your mind, marching away without a glance back. Not until—

"[L/N]! You're a healer, hah?" That's interesting. He stood where you left him, watching.

"What's it to you?"

Someone sane would've left at your tone but this guy walked towards you then showed you his arms, recently scratched. Images came back to you about the cafeteria incident but did not underst—... did he want to get healed?

You scoffed.

"They're scratches, dude."

"They annoy me. Now heal." All the energy you had left in your body was channeled towards the slow blink you threw at him, at which he scoffed. But they did look nasty— and Midori did them. It was a curse by itself to look down at your own arms and remember that face, so the guardian angel in you decided to take control and be the better person.

Gentle fingers barely tapped his muscular arm. Smile crept up on your lips, feeling absolutely delighted at his obvious stiffness at the skin contact and the clear interest in his eyes, specially when the scratches started disappearing into nothing, leaving smooth silk skin under.

"Hey— Wha— Where the fuck do you think you're going?!" raspy voice got lost in the distance and one thought in your head.

"Want a lollipop for being a good patient too?" You mock and his face explodes in all shapes of red. It would've been great to mock him more, enthralled by his reactions, but with that you turned and left, ignoring the tingling under your fingers that should not be there and your stomping heart.

Did he wait all the lunchbreak to talk to you?

—

A long queue was ahead of you, earning the longest sigh out of your lungs. Life was pain sometimes. Mei couldn't hang out, food was too far away, the delicious croissants Lunch Rush made ran out as far as you could see. Pain. Just pure pain.

And disappointment. When you walked away with your food in a bag, maybe to sit under a tree and enjoy some peace and quiet, you saw her. Midori sitting at a table you did not expect. At the same table where Ashido Mina, Denki Kaminari, Kirishima Eijirou and Hanta Sero sat at. Good people. Honest, good people about to get bitten by a snake. If she was there, then Bakugou decided—

"You. Sit."

Thinking about the boy somehow summoned him behind you. Food in hand and bored expression on his face, he passed you not without giving you a stink eye. Indeed, disappointment.

You shrugged, trying not to pay much attention to the pang in your heart as you moved forward, but a voice— his voice stopped you in your tracks.

"You. Get the fuck out of my face." His growl made everyone around him turn to watch, you being one of them. There was no excuse to what came next, no way to run away past it and dissappear. He nodded his head at you out of all people and pointed at the seat still occupied by Midori; her purple eyes big, shocked, running between your frame and the blond's.

Do you know what it felt to be put in the spotlight without warning? Well, congratulations because that was your life now.

"Ba—Bakugou-san?" Her voice, now highed up and meek followed, then a small scream as Bakugou slammed his food on the table. His friends sat there, wide-eyed, but made no attempt to interrupt.

"Did I fucking stutter, bitch? Or want me to turn into a rabid dog for fucking real?"

You choked on your own spit, bag of goodies about to drop on the floor once you saw her horrified face. She knew that he knew. And when her pale eyes, filled with sudden malice, act dropped, turned to you it's when you realized she figured out where he found out from.

Not like you cared, really, but the little shit that always had to poke out every time she was in the same room as you decided to finally show up, making you wave and send her a wink.

"I said MOVE!" now— that growl, raspy and filled with anger startled her. The orange juice in her hands spilled all over her uniform and woke her up from whatever delusion she was in. With zero time to reconsider, every belonging of hers was picked up with trembling hands and she ran away to her group of cockroaches.

A smile was already settled on your face; your brain was storing that whole interaction deep within, ready to bring it back up whenever you needed a good laugh.

Life was pain and disappointment, you say? No. Life was great. Or more importantly, Bakugou was. Not like he needed to know. But he was a decent guy as he proved—

"THE FUCK YOU STANDING THERE LIKE A DUMBASS?! I SAID SIT!" —to be a pain in the fucking ass and the bane of your existence.

You gave him a face then turned to walk away, even rushing more when you heard his chair screeching on the floor. The exit was so close, so near, freedom never felt this great, the sunlight kissing your skin giving you a new hope to live. But not for long because he grabbed your hand and started dragging you towards his table.

Your hand was in his hand and he was dragging you—

Your hand— his big, warm, a little bit sweaty hand—

How could you ruin such a beautiful moment? Eyes on you two, shocked, silence, his adorable red ears being the only thing you could see as he was completely in front of you, still dragging you towards his friends...

"Did you wait all lunchbreak yesterday to talk to me?" You collided into him as you finished the sentence, his way taller form stiffened so much you felt you single-handedly broke Bakugou Katsuki for good.

But when he turned... Oh, when he turned. Biggest deer-caught-in-the-headlights eyes you've ever seen on anyone, cheeks painted so red you almost melted in the spot, lips trembling as his head worked a thousand miles per second just to find a retort. And you prepared yourself for—

"NO, I FUCKING DIDN'T! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, YOU FUCKING EXTRA? I'D NEVER WAIT FOR SOMEONE LIKE YO— ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME!" Mina's waving hand caught your attention and smiled at her. Your hand was still in his, gripped harshly as he still hasn't noticed it's still there.

"Hey! [L/N], long time no see!" She cheered, ignoring the living shit out of her screaming friend, like she's used to it.

"FUCKING LOOK AT ME WHEN I TALK TO YOU—"

"Hey, chill, dude. Now let go of my hand, I wanna talk to Ashido." You smiled sweetly, making extra effort to wave your linked hands arond until he finally noticed. He zapped his hand away so fast, like he's been bitten by a wild animal. Maybe even a rabid dog, if you will.

You couldn't ignore your own flustered state as you walked past him, giving him a one up, adding the absolute scandalized face he had into the back of your mind for safekeeping.

"Come sit with us!" The pinkette offered.

"Oh, hey, I know you! You're by Hatsume's workshop all the time!" Kirishima intervened with a surprised face that broke into a grin. "Nice to officially meet—"

"I fucking said." he appeared, sitting in front of you. "My name's Bakugou."

"Ok, dude, but I'm talking to someon—"

"BAKUGOU KATSUKI!" Could be heard from the stratosphere.

Note: I just realized Midori means Green [ fucking duh ] but I'm not gonna change the name or her description. I think her parents fucking up her name was the start of many accidents leading into the Midori we all know and hate. Also, I know you understand. We all know a Midori in our lives. Much love.

Note 2: I keep editing it but tumblr dot com slash Install App on Phone fucks my editing and switches paragraphs all around! If you find any PLEASE tell me, I'd really appreciate it!!!

[svnaslove]

getting high with hq boys

𝐬𝐲𝐩𝐧𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐬 ; just stoner! haikyuu character heacanons and how they get when they’re high w you

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 ; recreational marijuana use, suggestive themes

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 ; atsumu miya, suna rintarō, tendou satori, sugawara koshi [all separate]

yeah i can totally see atsumu being a stoner, i can’t help it, it just comes naturally

a bong bitch, he hates bowls and blunts for some reason

if you’re going to have a sesh with him BUCKLE UP

gets kinda whiny when he’s high and an EXTREME case of the munchies

will eat three times his weight 

will take both indica and sativa but prefers indica

gets !! so !! fucking !! touchy !!

if you’re his s/o it’s probably fine

but if you’re not, you’re probably gonna end up having a crush on him because he’s so extra flirty and touchy when he’s high

“you’re prettyyyy”

“can i give you a kiiiiiss”

“y/n do you think im prettyyy?”

you’re only encouraged by his flirtyness and end up flirting back without thinking about it

“i think you’re really pretty too ‘tsum”

*GASP*

“YOU DO?”

-atsumu miya 2020

as i said, super touchy

but not in a pervy way, like he feels touch starved out of nowhere when he’s high

plays with your hands, hugs you, kneads your thighs, kisses your cheeks, throws himself on your lap and lays his head there and you just play with his hair

will be all dazed out and all of the sudden look up at you from your lap and goes “boobs are so pretty and soft :)” “can i touch your boobies :) <3″

even though he’s high he’s still respectful so if you say no he’ll be fine and it won’t be weird or anything, you two just laugh it off and he’ll let you touch his “boobies”

in the end and in summary,

this can go two ways

you guys either end up wholesomely hugging/cuddling and giggling to each other

or

you two end up fucking on the coach

resident stoner, but you wouldn’t really be able to guess it

prefers the smoke so doesn’t really want edibles

really good with the smoke tricks

dOES THE MOST PERFECT RING EVER???

his french inhale is fucking sexy

honestly really fun and chill to have a sesh with

prefers indica

also prefers either a blunt or a dab pen, mostly the pen doesn’t like doing all the extra stuff, lazy mf

he might ask you to roll his blunt for him and it’s not because he doesn’t know how because you have seen him do it before

SO GOOD AT ROLLING LIKE WTF DO IT YOURSELF

and so quick at it too like, you’re so good at it, you don’t need me??

you were his apprentice at rolling at one point 😌

✨sensei suna✨

says the weird shit

“if i try to fail and i succeed, which one did i do?”

“why do your feet smell but your nose runs?”

you’re just as greened out as he is you’re like

“wooooooaaaaahhh riiiiiinnnnnnnnn”

in you head you’re like “omfg this guy is einstein, suna for president.”

you convinced yourself by accident once that he was, in fact, einstein and you were asking him how to make an atomic bomb

he was going with it too like, “yuh knoo, i just, got to the neighbors house and i ask him if he’s seen adam ( yes, in the context of fucking adam, instead of ATOM) and he’s like “yeah man i saw adam over at the grocery store, he was buying apples,” and i was like “yeahh an apple a day keeps the doctor away” and my neighbor was like “yeahhh” and then i went to the apple isle in the grocery store and there was adam and i was like “did you study yet adam” and he said nah so i was like “oh, well ig you should since theres a test tomorrow” and he’s like “i’ll be fine” and then comes tomorrow and he’s like, “suna, i bombed the test.” and that’s how it happens

you’re like

“wooooooaaaaahhhh riiiiinnnnnnnn”

you saw that whole story? yeah, he can make up random ass stories like those on the spot and go on forever

but he might fall asleep midway sometimes like a grandpa

would rather stay home and just talk with you while wrapped up in blankets

does get really thirsty, so have plenty of extra water for him <3

HE IS SO FUN TO GET HIGH WITH

says the weird shit like suna does and again,

“wooooooaaaaahhhhhh saaatttooooriiiiiii”

HE’S JUST SO FUN??

probably ends up with you two going on a trip somewhere 

but if not still makes it super fun

rents a bouncy house ??

where did he know to rent a bouncy house ??

and how did he get it shipped over to you two so quickly ??

sativa boyo

probably climbed the roof together at least once

you end up laughing so hard with him that your guts feel like they’re going to spill out

walks in from going to the bathroom and he’s like 

“y/n”

with a deadpan face

“it feels so weird to pee when you’re greened out”

looks like he’s legitimately scared

“woah does it really?” you reach over to chug a bunch of water to be able to pee soon

“nO DON’T DO THAT, IT WAS SCARY, IT FELT LIKE A SPACE SHIP WAS COMING OUT OF MY DICK”

“huh ? 🧍‍♀️”

and then you both start laughing so hard that your eyes hurt from all of the crying

and then you have to pee and he’s outside of the door, “i’ll save you if you need my help, okay?”

when you start peeing you’re like 

“DLJFDLKSFJSDKF TENDOU THERE’S A SPACE SHIP”

the most wholesome and head in the clouds experience ever when you’re getting high with suga

it’s like heaven

that is, if there are no interruptions 

doesn’t really care between indica or sativa

but he does like getting new stuff to try out like different types of kush or dab pens

he’s a literal “i’ll take anything” type of guy

kinda giggly when he’s high, it’s really cute

he knows how to braid ??

if you have long hair he’ll be like “y/nn can i braid your hair 🥺”

you guys made a freaking fort once ??😭

and it was surprisingly HELLA good

you two usually either talk about really deep stuff and it gets spiritual sometimes like you start talking about stars and god and souls

or you guys will end giggling at each other or end up watching disney movies

you tried to put on that’s so raven one time and he thought hE could do what raven could and see into the future and it was HILARIOUS

he kept stopping and looking into nothing really intensely and then telling you that he just saw the future

likes to lay on your lap too

he says you smell good and your thighs are really comfy

one time he liCKED YOUR THIGHS??

like a lil kitten lick 😭

he said your thighs told him to do it

ended up eating you out.

[haikyuuuuuhypeeeee]

Ch. Fourteen

⚠WARNING: Swearing

• ────── ✾ ────── •

Waking up is painful. Physically painful, at least. You’re not ready to deal with the emotional pain from yesterday, no thank you.

You finally peel your eyes open, a true struggle considering how they were crusted together. You take in your surroundings and form the first coherent thought of the day.

This isn’t my bedroom.

Your eyes seem to be crusted shut. You sit up and realize that no, this is not your apartment, this is Osamu’s apartment. This is his bed you’re currently sitting up from, his blankets wrapped around you.

You then form your second coherent thought of the day.

His detergent smells really nice.

That thought finishes in your head before it’s slammed aside by the rush of yesterday’s memories - group therapy with your friends and Osamu, Oikawa being a complete dick to Osamu, your argument with Oikawa which resulted in Oikawa blabbing of your love for Hajime, leaving the restaurant crying, realizing you lost your keys but they’re at Osamu’s apartment, walking to Osamu’s crying…

From there it’s a bit murkier as your memories intertwined with self-deprecating thoughts and a line of thinking you rarely walk down anymore.

Last night was a night.

You do somewhat remember Osamu comforting you. Letting you know that it was okay and he was there for you.

You glance around the studio apartment, wondering where he was. Oh god, did you force him out good lord you are -

Oh, no he’s sitting on his couch with a cup of coffee.

You’re filled with guilt when you realize you monopolized his bed and completely took over his apartment. Yeah, he maybe didn’t need to sleep last night (a concept you still don’t fully understand nor approve of) but you have fully overstayed your welcome.

Grabbing your phone from the side table you tap the screen, taking in the notifications on your screen.

Shit, I never messaged Makki or Mattsun.

Your gut feels like lead as you open the group chat with the two. That was a big fuck up on your end.

Fuck, I’m such a shitty friend.

You don’t waste anytime typing out a message.

“Tea?”

You look up from your phone and are greeted with Osamu’s sleepy gaze, a mug of tea held in his hand for you. You reach for the mug, nodding slowly.

“How’re yer feel in’ this morning?” He asks as you take a sip. You shrug in response

“I’m okay. I’m sorry I just fell apart like that on you.” You say. “I wasn’t having a great night, and my emotions just kind of bled all over the place. And I’m sorry that I fell asleep.”

“Yeah, that was actually pretty funny.” Osamu smiles. “Ya just kinda passed out on my shoulder. I had to lift ya to get ya onto the bed.”

You blink, absolutely mortified. “Oh wow, I am so sorry. That’s so embarrassing.”

“Nah, it was cute.” Osamu takes a casual sip from his mug, seemingly oblivious to the flirty line he just dropped. “But ya seemed pretty upset last night, and i wasn’t gonna let ya walk home like that.” The smile drops from his face and he looks at you with concern. “If ya wanna talk about it ya can, although I don’t want to push ya. It’d be pretty dumb of me to.

“I know I’ve been pretty skeptical about openin’ up and talkin’ ‘bout my feelings, but since meetin’ ya I’ve felt better. Lighter, I guess.” He shrugs. “Ya’ve made me realize how important it is to open up.”

You look down at your tea, a small smile tugging at your lips. Your heart warms at Osamu’s words, part of you preening that you were the one who has helped Osamu, but also you feel genuine relief that Osamu wants to open up more.

“Well, let me treat you to breakfast this morning - it’s the least I can do.” You finish your tea and give Osamu a small smile. “I can tell you about yesterday if you don’t mind listening.”

Osamu smiles in return. “Sure, let me grab my stuff.” He takes the mug from your hand and shuffles into the kitchen. You sit up, stretching your arms and grabbing your phone. A few more messages have come through from Mattsun and Makki.

Uhhhhh…….

You open up your chat with Oikawa, finding hundreds of messages from him. He hasn’t sent you anything since 5am. You quickly navigate back to the chat with your other friends.

Frantic knocks, one after another, beat against Osamu’s door.

No way.

Osamu gives you a look before walking to the front door. He checks the paper hole, then turns back and looks at you with faint amusement.

“It’s for ya.”

You stand from the bed, moving into the kitchen. Regretfully, you open the door.

A distressed-looking Oikawa is the surprise visitor. He looks absolutely beside himself - his eyes are bloodshot and swollen, snot is dripping out of his nose, and his hair is messy and lackluster.

Oh dear god.

He bursts into tears when he sees you, but surprisingly doesn’t throw himself at you. He must be learning some boundaries. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Y/N-chan! I was being stupid and petty and I didn’t mean to-”

“Ok, ok c’mon. You’re going to wake up Osamu’s neighbors.” You bring the snivelling, pathetic Oikawa inside, quickly closing the door behind him. You help him get his shoes off, glancing around the Osamu. You spot him at the sink, filling a glass with water. He brings it over, giving Oikawa a nod and silently passing the water to him.

“Thank you Osamu-kun.” Oikawa gratefully takes the water and downs it before handing the empty glass back to an amused Osamu. “I plan on giving you a full apology soon, I promise.”

Osamu huffs a laugh and goes back into the kitchen. He sets the glass in the sink as you lead Oikawa through and into the living room.

“I’m so sorry,” you whisper to Osamu. “Do you want me to go?”

“Nah,” Osamu waves his hand. “I’ll get ready for breakfast in the bathroom, and give you guys some space.”

“Thank you, I’ll try to make this quick.”

“Take yer time.” Osamu smiles at you and moves to the bathroom. You turn back to Oikawa, who is watching you with regret painting all over his face.

“I’m sorry I told Makki and Mattsun that you love Hajime.” Oikawa blurts without any bite.

You think you see Osamu flinch out of the corner of your eye but when you look his way you see the bathroom door closing. You look back to Oikawa and sigh.

“Why did you say it then?”

Oikawa heaves a sigh and hangs his head. “I don’t know. I don’t know what to say to make you not hate me.”

“Oikawa, I don’t hate you.” You join him on the couch, leaning into his side. “Talk to me.”

Oikawa presses back to you and you feel his shoulders move up and down as he takes another deep breath. “I knew that uni classes and volleyball would be really really hard - but as long as we all had each other we would be fine. We smashed through high school together, so this was just another challenge.

“But when Iwa-chan died it changed everything. Obviously.” Oikawa takes a shaky breath. “But I still had you, Mattsun and Makki. I knew that we wouldn’t be the same without Iwa-chan, and classes and volleyball would be hard, but we would be friends.

“I don’t think I knew how hard everything would be. My classes suck, volleyball is a chore, and I miss Iwa-chan.” He sniffles. “I miss him so much. I feel like I don’t know who I am without him. But I had you guys, I always had my friends.

“But Mattsun and Makki are in their own world sometimes, and then you started hanging out with Osamu.” He looks at you, tears shining in his brown eyes. “I know it makes me sound like you can’t have other friends beside me, and I really don’t want to be selfish. But you were spending more time with Osamu and it hit me that you were all growing up and becoming different people.” A few tears track down his face and he sniffs. “I don’t want anything to change, I don’t want Iwa-chan to be dead, I don’t want to be a terrible person.”

Oikawa starts to cry and you don’t hesitate in pulling him into a side hug. He’s not really sobbing but you feel his pain deep in your heart. One of your hands comes up to card gently through his hair.

“I know I’ve been a piece of shit the last few months. And I can tell that you really like Osamu, even though you’ve always loved Iwa-chan. Whenever you talked about him you had this happy and bright look on your face. He makes you feel good, but you love Iwa-chan. You moving on meant change, and I hated that.” Oikawa sniffs. “But bringing Osamu to the group therapy session, which I always thought was our group’s thing, made me realize that you were changing. I was so angry, and your secret just slipped out.”

He takes a watery breath. “Isn’t it awful? I’ve been trying to drag you back down to my level, bring you back down to feel the pain that I feel, all because I’m scared. I’m a terrible, awful friend.”

“Oikawa, have you had time to go to your therapy appointments?” You ask gently.

He doesn’t answer right away, and when he gives the tiniest shake of his head you sigh.

“Honey,” you scold gently. “Why are you not going?”

“School and volleyball have taken up a lot of my time.” Oikawa mumbles, his sentence punctuated with another sniffle. “I’ve skipped so many appointments, and I’m too embarrassed to call.”

You sigh, inwardly shaking your head at your friend’s weak excuse. “I don’t want to tell you what to do, but maybe re-prioritize your responsibilities. Getting back on track with your therapy appointments should take top priority. You can talk through these feelings instead of letting them fester.”

Oikawa doesn’t answer right away, but when he does his voice is small. “But I’d probably have to quit volleyball, and that’s all I have left of Iwa-chan.” You see his hands ball into fists. “I don’t want to lose that.” His breath hitches. “I don’t know what to do.”

You let him cry on your shoulder, giving him the time to get all the tears out. You figure this is the most civil conversation you’ve had since Hajime died. The thought brings you relief but also makes you quite sad.

“You know you’re one of my best friends, right Oikawa?” You ask once he’s calmed down a bit. “You’re a diva and a trainwreck, but you’re my diva and my trainwreck.” He exhales lightly but you’re almost certain it’s in amusement. “No matter what, I’m always going to want the best for you, and I’m always gonna try my best to help you.

“But,” you feel him tense up when you continue. “You have to realize that your behavior the past few months has been really shitty. You’ve treated us all like punching bags - we get it, probably more than a lot of people could. But I’m not gonna let you treat me, or any of our friends, like it anymore.”

“I’ll be good.” Oikawa promises immediately. “I promise, I’ll do better for you and Makki and Mattsun. And me.”

“Good.” You give him a gentle squeeze. “I’m sorry for yelling at you last night in the restaurant.”

“You don’t have to apologize at all.” He replies immediately. He yawns before speaking again. “Honestly, I’ve been a piece of shit for months now. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” You murur. You both sit on the couch for a while longer as you try to come down from the conversation you just had. You feel like a heavy cloud that’s been floating around your head for months has cleared, and although you know Oikawa won’t magically change overnight you feel better knowing that you’ve had this hard conversation with him. Change starts with communication, and hopefully Oikawa understands now that he has the support to change.

You feel Oikawa leaning against you even further and you look at his face to see his eyes closed and mouth parted open.

“Oikawa, c’mon I don’t want you falling asleep.” You gently push him off you so you can stand and get Oikawa to stand also. His eyes are still closed and he puts nearly all of his body weight onto you.

He must not have slept all night, you think. It’s not uncommon for him to pull all nighters, a habit he picked up in high school watching game tape over and over until the sun came up. But he handles the lack of sleep gracelessly - you could prop him against a door jamb and he’d pass out no problem.

Together you move towards the front door. You’re not going to let him fall asleep here and inconvenience Osamu even more - you’ll take him back to your apartment and maybe try to catch lunch with Osamu. Now you owe him a few meals and unlimited coffee.

“Gotta apologize to Osamu-kun,” Oikawa mumbles when you lean him against the wall.

“Maybe when you’re going to fall asleep standing up, yeah?” You reply, bending down to shove his feet back in his shoes. You hear more mumblings in return but can’t make anything out of them.

As you’re getting your shoes on you hear the bathroom door open and out walks Osamu. He’s dressed and his face is composed into it’s usual blankness. Trusting that Oikawa won’t keel over, you walk over to where Osamu is reaching into his dresser for socks.

“I’m so sorry,” you say. “I have to reschedule breakfast, I have to make sure this idiot won’t sleepwalk into traffic.”

“S’alright. Didja work everything out?” Osamu asks in a measured tone.

“I think so.” Osamu’s not looking at you as he puts on his socks. Your gut twinges with guilt, realizing that he must be upset that you have to cancel breakfast. “But I think I’m gonna take him to my apartment and make sure he sleeps. Do you want to meet up for lunch or something?”

“Can’t.” His short answer makes you blink. “Meetin’ a group on campus for a class project.”

“Oh.” He’s still not meeting your gaze, and you detect a hint of gruffness in his tone. Maybe he’s upset that he has to meet with his group last minute? Or because you basically shoved him into his bathroom while you and Oikawa worked out your issues. “Dinner then? I owe you double now.”

“Probably not.” Osamu stands and gathers a few books and a notebook before shoving them into his backpack. His inability to look at you or hold a full conversation is confusing, but you don’t want to push him.

“Well let’s meet at the coffee shop tomorrow, usual time after morning classes. Sounds good?”

He hums distractedly. Your gut feels heavier and you swallow hard.

“Okay, well I’ll be off now.”

Osamu turns towards you but still doesn’t meet your eyes. “I’ll walk ya out.”

You both make the short walk to the front door. The tension in the room is heavy, unable to lighten even at the sight of Oikawa sleeping standing up. You maneuver your friend while Osamu opens the door for you. It’s a slight struggle walking out of the front door but you manage.

You look back before Osamu can close the door behind you. He’s holding the door knob and staring at the ground. “Let me know if you can do dinner tonight - if not I’ll see you tomorrow.”

You force as much cheeriness into your voice, despite the heavy weight in your chest. Finally Osamu looks at you, giving you a disinterested nod.

He closes the door as you turn to walk away. You look back quickly, catching a crestfallen look on Osamu’s face before the door fully closes.

• ────── ✾ ────── •

A/N: So when I originally thought about this story, I wanted to think about how different people deal with grief. And what I wanted to explore was 1.) is there a limit to how people will grieve? And 2.) can someone grieving push that limit? From the get-go Oikawa has seemingly pushed the limit of what some of you believed, and yet Y/N was still hesitant to call him out. And I loved hearing what everyone had to say about Oikawa - some were willing to give him a pass, and some were NOT happy with him. Now, just because someone is grieving, it does NOT give them a free pass to behave inappropriately or do serious harm to those around them. But I think it’s important to note that what may seem absolutely insane to one person is tolerable to another. And what it comes down to is how the person who is directly affected by another’s actions wants to address those actions (sorry if this is confusing.) Oikawa was treating Y/N and their friends like shit. In the story it was because Oikawa was not taking the necessary actions to keep himself mentally healthy. In Y/N’s eyes, if there is a desire to be better, and appropriate actions are taken to be better, then Oikawa deserves to be forgiven. I have absolutely LOVED reading everyone’s reactions and hearing their opinions on Oikawa’s slowly deteriorating behavior, thank you for sending them in! And just because how Y/N has reacted to Oikawa’s behavior it does not mean there is a right/wrong way! Everyone has different life experiences and different relationships that guide their decision-making! And that’s totally okay! (This obviously applies to non-threatening and morally & ethically right behavior.) And WOOF thank you for getting this far in the A/N’s, this was a LOT! Gold stars for everyone!! 🌟🌟🌟

Taglist Open! Please send an Ask with the request to be added to It’s [Not] Okay Fic & SMAU: @psycho-nightrose @camcam1617 @kamalymaly @toobsessedsstuff @shookykookie30 @roro-707 @qualitygiantshoepsychic @cerealfrdinner797 @ara-mitsue @gray-444 @tanakasimpcorner @rintarovibes @jellien @everytimeswift @bongofrito @babucrow @beidouluvr @kozuken-ma @imarriedachef

[lycorogue]

Thoughts about episode “Lie”

Okay. Here we are. This is back to the better writing I was talking about the other day. I love me parallel stories, so this was just *chef kiss* in that department. 

Before I delve into my thoughts on the episode itself, I want to take a step back and talk about my views of the non-love-square ships Lukanette and Adrigami. (Feel free to skip ahead; I have a header for when I start talking about this episode again)

Lukanette and Adrigami

For me, Marinette and Luka had romantic chemistry from the word go. As much of a Marichat shipper as I am, I knew that if anyone could make Marinette forget about Adrien, it wouldn’t have been Chat Noir. It would be Luka. Chat Noir would then come in at a close 3rd (a bit ironically) when it comes to Marinette’s heart. Meanwhile, Kagami slowly grew to have a crush on Adrien post-Riposte, and then charged forward knowing exactly who she wanted. On the flipside, though, I stand firm that there wasn’t really much romantic interest coming from Adrien. If anyone was going to make Adrien forget about Ladybug, it would be Marinette; not Kagami.

The episode “Frozer” - the one where Kagami makes her crush known for the first time, and Adrien first attempts dating her - practically gives us some foreshadowing of their entire relationship. Aside from clearly finding Kagami attractive (as showcased by the pink-bubbles-vision when Adrien first sees her sans-helmet in “Riposte”), he doesn’t seem to have any romantic inclination towards Kagami until after she cups his cheek and lets him know, in not so many words, that she likes him. Even so, it isn’t until Marinette basically gives the thumbs up that he should pursue this relationship does he give it a try. He’s still very uncomfortable around her, and only gets a bit more comfortable in “Animaestro”; probably because he’s seen his father around Kagami’s mom and just mimics that (as seen in “Backwarder”). Going back to “Frozer” though, Adrien spends most of his time with Kagami watching Marinette, and even abandons Kagami in favor of checking in on Marinette - something Luka could have easily done and probably doesn’t because he sees Adrien already on it and knows Marinette would prefer Adrien’s comfort. So Luka doesn’t push the issue. That whole ice rink interaction shows that, while Luka trumps Chat Noir as a potential alternative love interest for Marinette, Marinette still surpasses Kagami as a potential alternative love interest for Adrien. This, for me, is again hinted at in the episode Heart Hunter where, while enjoying himself seemingly equally with both girls, there’s just these little hints - complimenting Marinette more than Kagami, asking Marinette to choose the ice cream - that, at least subconsciously, Adrien is leaning a touch more towards Marinette over Kagami. His heart just isn’t all that into this relationship. This is again showcased in the New York special when Adrien (at least in the English dub; I haven’t watched it in other languages) asks Marinette to dance with him with an almost pleading tone in his voice. (To be fair, clearly Marinette isn’t thinking of Luka at all during that trip either...)

I think the final Foreshadowing nail in the Adrigami coffin is this dialogue from “Frozer”:

Kagami: “You still keep doing what other people want you to do.” Adrien: “No, I just want him to be happy.”

In the end, Adrien did the same thing with Kagami: he did what he thought would make her happy because he’s a people pleaser to his core.

Adrien of course found Kagami attractive and fun to hang out with. She was a fantastic companion, and I love their companionship so much. However, I feel like he dated her mostly because he knew he had to find some way of getting over Ladybug, and here’s this pretty girl who clearly has a thing for him, so why not???? Their parents were practically setting them up as a couple anyway, between the trip to the royal wedding and the movie premiere. Plus, this “approved” friend meant he could spend more time outside of his father’s house while genuinely enjoying the company. Win-win. He then did all the pseudo-dating stuff he’s clearly witnessed in media; kind of following a play-book as it were. 

However, he never did anything even remotely romantic or flirty towards Kagami that was on par with his romantic gestures and flirtations towards Ladybug (or even Marinette, for that matter). His love language is obvious after watching him with Ladybug, and he uses some of that same language (albeit subconsciously... probably...) while interacting with Marinette. Things like leaning in playfully (ending of “Troublemaker” and when asking Marinette for a macaron in “Despair Bear”), sharing a romantic picnic (“Glaciator”) even if it was just to cheer Marinette up, winking (the endless winking in too many episodes to list here), whispering in her ear (“Despair Bear” and one other that I can’t recall right now), Soft SmilesTM (“Chameleon”, pretty much all of the NY special, tons of season 3 episodes), confessing insecurities or secrets (“Gamer” and “Gorizilla”), or asking her to dance (“Despair Bear” and “NY Special”). I’m sure there’s tons more and each example has more episodes it’s showcased in, but you get the idea. Alternatively, Adrien just never used that same love language with Kagami. With her it all felt like calculated moves; it was expected of him to lean in for the kiss in “Heart Hunter” and “Miracle Queen”, or wipe away the smudge of ice cream by Kagami’s mouth, so he did it. Aside from his protectiveness and care for Kagami in “Onichan”, Adrien never really treated Kagami any different than his other friends.

Marinette, on the other hand, does show some of her love language towards Luka. She blushes around him and does that bashful little shoulder shrug. She makes excuses to touch his arms, hands, chest, or back. She literally leans on him. She has an interest in his interests and even goes above and beyond for gifts, such as the necklace (yay; Luka looks so good in a necklace!) and, unofficially, the contract with Bob Roth for Kitty Section. 

Granted, she doesn’t flirt with Luka like she does with Chat Noir, but, as someone who also used to flirt with my guy friends without truly realizing the romantic implications (I was a disaster as a teen, okay?), I don’t know if Marinette has truly realized how flirting is part of her love language. If she is anything like I was, flirting is more a fun past-time to see if you could get a rise out of someone in some sort of sextual-tension game of chicken or something. It’s not something you do with someone you have serious feelings for. 😝

Back to Kagami though. I want to stress that, while I didn’t see any romantic future for Adrigami, I do still very much like Kagami and appreciated the character development the writers gave her. I love her as one of Marinette’s potential friends and, as I mentioned, a companion for Adrien. I just never saw any romantic interest coming from Adrien towards Kagami. He never even truly seemed himself around her the way he is around Ladybug or Marinette. I don’t think he’s comfortable enough to not be Textbook BoyfriendTM around Kagami. He even mentions in this episode that him being a clown IS the real him and she calls bullshit (although @gale-gentlepenguin​ does have some nice commentary on how even that wasn’t exactly truthful and Kagami was right to call him out). Point being, Adrien loves to be nerdy and goofy and playful, and she just doesn’t get that????? A lot of what Adrien likes she seems to dismiss.

I’m sorry, Adrigami shippers. There could have been potential there as these two grew, but as it stood? I just didn’t see it.

The Episode “Lie”

Going back to my thoughts on “Lie” though with all of that above commentary for context. I just feel a bit cheated that Clearly-There’s-Mutual-Pining Lukanette gets ONE kiss lean-in for the whole “love rival” arc they’ve had set up for 1.5 seasons before the relationship implodes, but Clearly-Only-One-Has-Feelings-And-The-Other-Is-Just-Kinda-Going-Along-With-It-Because-Hey-He-Likes-Hanging-Out-With-Her-And-She’s-Cute-So-Why-Not Adrigami has THREE kiss lean-ins in THIS ONE EPISODE ALONE (not to mention the 2 from Heart Hunter/Miracle Queen)!? Like I said, I feel a bit robbed, but... well fed, Adrigami shippers, I guess...

Anyway, my heart hurts so much because yes, Kagami deserves someone who will take the time to be with her (just like how Luka deserves the same), but also, it’s not like Adrien WANTED to abandon her (much like Marinette not wanting to abandon Luka). These poor kids. All four of them. My heart breaks. 😢

I did feel a much stronger emotional gut-punch with this episode, which is surprising because a) we already saw a good 5-10 min of it in “Truth” so this episode was essentially shorter than the premiere, and b) I’m a much stronger Lukanette shipper than an Adrigami shipper (see above). So, bravo to the writers on this episode. I hate that this team broke so many hearts, but this is the caliber of writing I was hoping for. 

(I know Marinette is the Guardian, but can we agree to have more Adrien-centric stories, please? They’re just so good).

My final thoughts though: WHY ON EARTH DID THE WRITERS EVEN BOTHER WITH THE “LOVE SQUARE RIVALS” STORY LINE IF THEY WEREN’T GOING TO FOLLOW THROUGH!? ADRIGAMI AND LUKANETTE FINALLY GET TOGETHER AFTER 1.5 SEASONS ONLY FOR THE RELATIONSHIPS TO BE DOA BASICALLY THE NEXT EPISODE!? WHY!? TO RESET THE STATUS QUO THEY WORKED SO HARD TO SHAKE UP!? I already talked Friday about the lost story potential with Lukanette, but there’s also a lot Adrien could have learned from his relationship with Kagami. 

Adrien is still VERY vocal about his love, and, while he has learned a lot, matured a lot, and has eased up a lot, Adrien does still semi-burden Ladybug with his feelings; something Luka never did to Marinette. Adrien, possibly due to witnessing his parents - I have theories about the romance dynamic between Emilie and Gabriel - seems to have this view of love being okay even if unbalanced. Ladybug is far more powerful and crucial to the protection of Paris, but they are still partners and equals in their eyes. So maybe he feels the same about love; he may be more romantically devoted to her, but as long as Ladybug loves him even a little, it’s like they’re equals in romance... right???? So... yeah, a more balanced relationship with Kagami could have taught him how important a romantic balance is as well. Plus, if I am right in my assumption that he just kind of went along with the relationship because he thought it was expected, then he could have also learned something about being a people-pleaser. There was a lot of growth potential for both Marinette and Adrien in these non-love-square relationships, and it just feels squandered.

Also, as I mentioned with my review of “Truth”, I’m fearing that the writers are kind of railroading the Ladynoir ship. First, there’s Marinette realizing that she can’t have a boyfriend because he wouldn’t be safe, nor could she be truthful to him about why their time was so limited. The exception being Chat Noir, who can very much protect himself (except for when he’s shielding Ladybug, but she yelled at him for that in “Lie”), and she can be fully honest with him as long as it doesn’t involve their identities, and he very much knows and understands their time restrictions. In fact, he even goes so far as to state that ANY time with her is a gift he cherishes. He’s basically the perfect boyfriend for her in her situation; she just needs to be lonely enough to “realize” it. >3> On the Adrien side of things, Kagami tells him that she can’t trust someone who isn’t honest with her, but there’s Ladybug: fully understanding and completely trusts him even when she knows he’s lying. She also doesn’t fault him for their lack of time together and understands if he needs to run away without a moment’s notice. He’s already in love with her, but this whole situation just paints her even more as the perfect romantic partner for him. I get it, but I also hate it. I hate this feeling of this one corner of the love square being railroaded. It basically dismisses the other 3 corners as possibilities right alongside the Lukanette and Adrigami ships.

All that grumbling aside, I would like to give some applause to how the episode ended. I very much enjoyed that Kagami was like, “nope. You lied to me, and I can’t trust you, so we can’t be friends. I need time away from you. I’ll let you know if we’re ever okay again.” It shows the consequences of playing with someone’s emotions, even if under the best intentions. It also shows that it’s perfectly okay to cut out toxic relationships, even if the other person didn’t intend any harm. Well-intentioned people can still cause toxic relationships, and if you need to step away from them (as Kagami did), then you are completely valid in that decision. It’s an important lesson for kids to learn, I think. I’m just worried that Kagami brushing off even being Adrien’s friend (while justified) might mean not really seeing her in the show anymore, and that would be a shame. 😟 I do enjoy her as a character, and would love to see more of her growth. Plus, she is so limited in social interactions as-is, so I hope we see more Kagami and Marinette friendship growth.

I am also interested in how Adrien reacts to the knowledge that he can indeed ruin his friendships with people if they aren’t in the same emotional space. This is most likely what’s preventing Marinette from confessing: fear that Adrien will reject her so severely that he might not even want to be her friend anymore. So having Adrien now possibly have that fear as well has some interesting story potential (if the writers don’t drop the ball like they did with the Lukanette/Adrigami ships). Meanwhile, having a dejected Luka still offering friendship and support to Marinette - something clearly Adrien assumed would happen with Kagami; once a friend, always a friend - might give her the confidence to confess to Adrien, now trusting that they are good enough friends and he’s a kind enough person that they can still remain friends even if he doesn’t return her feelings.

There’s a lot of potential birthed from these opening episodes, but especially from “Lie” and I’m interested to see what the rest of the season is going to look like now.

Also... ARE WE SURE THAT LUCKY CHARM BRACELET IS ACTUALLY LUCKY!? IT’S BEEN THE HIDING SPOT FOR AN AKUMA TWICE NOW!

[cosmicbash]

no but like oh my god, imagine if kells only has sex with em bc that’s the only way he can think of repaying the rapper??? christ, like, he only thinks of em’s own pleasure instead of his own, using his body as an apology, bc that’s the only way he knows how (i mean there’s his music too, but he thinks em fucking hates his music) ((idk might write abt this, but i kinda want u to kickstart it uknow?))

Yess yess yess I love this.

It starts out as a misunderstanding, of course, because how else would their relationship begin?

A series of short tentative chats that somehow blossom into a full on dinner together, Colson sweating and more anxious than he's ever been in his life. It just doesn't seem real, that not only could he be mending this feud with his idol but also sitting across from him at some fancy restaurant table learning Eminem eats his steaks well done like some child. And laughing about it. 

He's actually laughing. With his idol, his rival, his highschool crush. Long legs kicking out under the table at his own bad jokes, Em half smirking back at him. Their feet brushing one too many times for the color to leave his cheeks even after he's done giggling.

By the time Colson is talking Em into splitting some crazy good looking chocolate cake he actually feels better than he has in years. Since before the beef. So of course something has to go wrong. It really would have to be a dream for things not to sour.

He wants to pretend the first few flirty comments are in his head. That Em reaching across the table to roughly rub some chocolate off his cheek is a Detroit thing. But by the time they're finished eating and waiting for the check Colson's creeping suspicion has turned into full on alarm bells blaring. There's just no way to excuse the nervous looks or Em's almost hesitant invitation up to his hotel room. 

It feels like a slap to the face. Everything suddenly makes sense. Why they're eating in the other rapper's hotel, why Em is even speaking to him. None of this is to repair their relationship or end the beef. It's all just some poorly hidden buttering up before Em asks him to get down on his knees. 

Colson should blow up. He should just lash out and throw his fist into Em's face. Storm out and flag down the valet. He's not some escort that the rapper can rent for the night and feed a fancy dinner to.

But there's that guilty feeling that has settled into the pit of his stomach. The one that's been there since he first lashed out and ruined everything with his diss track, the comments about Hailey, his childish bitching in interviews. It's only doubled since they first sat down to eat. Every muffled chuckle and weakly hidden smile from the older man digging that pit deeper and deeper. Showing him what he carelessly threw away in some desperate grab for attention.

It's got a small voice in the back of Colson's head warning him how if he says no and storms out he's just doing the same thing all over again, cutting Em out of his life. This time possibly forever.

So Colson bites his tongue and nods. His fingers anxiously climbing up into his hair to help hide the guilty look he knows must be on his face when he stutters out a "y-yeah, yeah, sure."

The genuine smile Em flashes back at him at his agreement just feels like a knife being jammed next to the shovel.

How can the man look so fucking blissful about something that feels like borderline blackmail?

But Em does. He looks stunned, downright flustered even at first at his response. Then happy. A happy that isn't hidden by some fake cough or behind a delicate yet strong looking hand for once. It gives Colson something precious to hold onto in the sea of uncomfortable and nasty emotions twisting up his stomach while the older rapper pays. 

The knot just twists itself up tighter once they're in the elevator, his silence thankfully brushed off as nervousness by Em. The almost shy glance of steely blue eyes his way making him feel so small while buttons are pressed. Usually Colson would blame this kind of nausea on the ride itself, but for once his phobia of the small metal deathtraps is actually being overpowered. A new fear worming its way through his guts as each floor number blinks to life.

He doesn't want to freak out. To run away, but hes too goddamn sober for this. Avoiding smoking and turning down the offer of wine at dinner just to try and impress his idol was threatening to be his downfall. If he'd known Em was going to show such little respect and consideration to his being like this he would have lit a fat one up right there at the table. Hell, maybe that would have changed the older man's mind about propositioning him in the first place. Surely a druggie asshole was less appealing to make drop to their knees instead of his current carefully put together primped and meek self.

"Only a few more floors. Don't go green on me just yet Kelly." 

Colson didn't know whether to take the playful nudge as comforting or creepy. Maybe, a little flattering? If Em had actually looked into him enough to learn about his problem with elevators and the man just wasn't guessing off the apparent discolor of his face that is.

"Y-yeah."

Imagining Eminem of all people actually following his interviews or caring about his personal life that much felt like a pipe dream though. 

Outside of the next 20 minutes or however long it took for the bastard to get his rocks off he highly doubted Em would put much thought into his existence at all. Which would be fair. After all the shit he's said and done he really doesn't deserve the time of day from his idol. 

A ding and the elevator doors were opening. Colson's legs feeling numb beneath him when he finally lets go of the railing in the elevator to stumble forward. Thankful that Em's focus was on digging his room's keycard out of his wallet and not his clumsy steps. Each one bringing them closer and closer to their destination, making the whole situation so vividly real he couldn't help but panic again. The other man's forced small talk about how he "Doesn't usually book the penthouse suite-" falling on deaf ears.

It’s ironic, how often he had dreamed for this exact scenario. For Eminem to be leading him up to some fancy high end hotel room, promising to shower him fully in his attention and gaze. Only now, with his dream coming true right before his eyes he can’t help but feel bittersweet about the heated gaze holding him frozen just outside the door. Em’s final offer for him to back down before they both step through the threshold clear as day in the look.

The twist in his gut tells Colson to take it, to just spin around on his heel and run away with his tail tucked between his legs. Accept he’s too much of a coward and too full of himself to actually mend their beef.

But the desperate need he feels for forgiveness and absolvement pushes Colson forward instead. Sheer will alone giving him the confidence to twirl his idols hoodie strings around his fingers to drag Em inside with him. The loud beat of his heart completely smothering the other man’s flustered outburst. 

Just like in church the blonde finds himself on his knees not too long after entering. Mouth open and hands clasped together, ready to ask for forgiveness. Except this god he’s praying to is running it’s fingers through his hair, and there’s a stiff cock separating his palms. A chorus of curses and “Holy fuck, K-Kelly just wait a second, shit, your tongue is-“ tickling his ears instead of hymns.

He’s never sucked a cock before, and it’s embarrassing how quickly he finds himself choking. But Colson doesn’t give up, even when his jaw starts to ache and the grip on his hair grows a bit too tight. His discomfort doesn’t matter here. He just needs to make Em happy, earn the forgiveness he doesn’t deserve.

“Can I- fuck, can I fuck your face?” Both of the older rapper’s palms are holding his bangs away from his face, tilting his head back just enough to force their eyes to meet. The shame in his chest doubles but so does the surprising tightness in his jeans when he sees the uncharacteristic flush to Em’s cheeks.

He isn’t experienced, the smart thing to do would be pull off and admit that. He’s seen first hand how disastrous things can go but his head bobs in a yes anyway. Eyes already starting to water from how the action jabs the other rappers cock right against his gag reflex.

A low groan is all the warning he gets before Em’s fingers are knotting in his hair, forcing his head down to meet the thrust of strong hips. Stuffing that hard dick down his throat so fast it burns and his hands can’t help but flail, helplessly grabbing onto the meat of the older rapper’s thighs through his sweats. Unable to even steal another gasp of air before it happens again. Em’s hips pistoning forward to fuck his mouth like some cheap replaceable toy. 

Even after he gags and gurgles spit the rapper doesn’t stop. 

The harsh pants of praise and encouragement burning his ears just as hotly as the tears in his eyes. “Ah, so good. So fucking good baby, the best, ah-“

Colson doesn’t know what’s worse, how quickly his heart skips at the surprise tern of endearment or how pathetically his cock jerks in his underwear. Not that he has much time to think on it with how Em abruptly forces his face right down to the bone, soft and scratchy pubes tickling his nose. Startling him before the other man’s blowing his load, Colson’s eyes widening and nails cutting deeply into Em’s legs while he chokes. There’s too much, even with his throat reflexively swallowing it still fills up his mouth and bursts out the sides. Dripping down his chin and out onto his shirt when Em finally pulls him off.

It’s salty, and thick. Nothing like the eggnog Rook’s joked to him it tastes like. There’s nothing sweet about this thick cream, even if the lightheaded feeling he’s got from milking it out still makes him feel drunk. 

“Shit. I wanna take a picture.“ Em’s palm is tilting his head back again, dragging his glassy eyes up away from the twitching spit slick cock in front of him. Thumb forcing his tongue down flat to flash what he can only imagine has to be a white mess before the hand in his hair is fumbling out a phone. “Can I?”

He almost wants to laugh at how the brunette doesn’t even wait for his answer before there is the unmistakable flash of a phone light temporarily blinding him. A curse and then another two, these ones at least allowing him the chance to shut his eyes tightly.

The shame within him is boiling, burning through his veins like lava and making his heart drop down into his stomach.

“So pretty-“ Em’s fingers are releasing his tongue and jaw to rake through his bangs yet again. Exposing his face even though Colson wants nothing more than to hide. A stifled sob tearing at his aching throat while he swallows what he can inside his mouth without completely gagging.

He can’t cry. That would ruin the mood wouldn't it? And if it doesn't, Colson doesn't know how he would handle having Em laugh at his tears. The almost soft demeanor and shy quality to his tone is all thats keeping the blonde from running away as it is. 

The shuffle of shoes and curl of strong fingers pulling him up startles Colson's eyes back open. Lashes fluttering to blink away the brief flash of wetness that's blurred his vision before he realizes he's being kissed. That Em's palms are cupping his jaw yet again, helping him to his feet. 

It's scratchy, and softer than he expects. Not that he was expecting Eminem to be kissing him in the first place, but the man doesn't relent. Just keeps kissing him, even after he's grown to his full height and the angle of their heads has switched. Em's tongue snaking its way inside his mouth while they stumble back further into the room. Until Colson's head is feeling fuzzy and his knees weak, the cushioned crash of his body hitting a mattress barely felt.

It feels wrong when Em's hands smooth up over his chest and down inside his jeans. The uncontrollable kick of his hips up into a tight hand around his cock almost blasphemous. There's no reason for Em to even be bothering with touching him there, he doesn't deserve it. But the rapper is sucking and nibbling along his neck, up into his ear to whisper a dozen filthy praises and compliments. None of them possibly true.

"So pretty-" "Perfect-" "Wanted to touch you for so long-" 

"Stop-" Colson's hands feel shaky as they drag his idols face back up to meet his in a messy kiss. Breath tight while he tries to speak between pecks. "Just- fuck, just hurry-"

When he winds up on his stomach some point into the night, Em's too big cock pressing hard against his entrance he can't help but cry out. The pitiful fist he shoves between his own teeth doing nothing to stifle the sound.

It hurts, more than the thin fingers he'd taken only moments prior. But not as much as the soothing shushes and affectionate run of hands through his hair. 

----

(Okay so this has set in my docs wayyyy too long now and you said you just wanted it maybe even as a kickstart so 🤲🤲 here is my humble offering)

[taecalikook]

The Platinum Rules (Finale)

summary : Taehyung loves you—it’s a fact as obvious as a day. You are the one person he treasure the most, probably even more than life itself. And because he loves you dearly, he is greatly self-conscious that he should let you go. But can he actually do it when he knows he’ll spend a lifetime searching for someone like you? 

{fake relationship! au, fuckboy! au, fratboy! au}

pairing : kim taehyung x reader (spinoff of (Not) Just Friends)

genre : fluff, angst, mutual pining

word count : 24k++

A.N = Read The Platinum Rules part 1 here!

============================

From that last encounter you kissed Taehyung, you do not reciprocate to any of his effort to contact you during weekends. All his calls went into voicemail, and you don’t even read his messages. At one point, you were sure that he was even in contact with your parents because of their missing usual pesky trait—they did not even question your sudden silence for locking up inside your room. 

You did not cry. You really try hard not to. One thing you miss to predict was how easy it is to fall for Taehyung—his caring self who confuses you better than anyone. You were never the type to easily fall for anyone, but he is just another level. It’s not even a month in knowing him, but it's easy to see you have caught deep feelings for him. But it’s a lost case, because since you met him the first time, he clearly stated he does not do relationships. It’s you, you are the only one to blame and there’s no other way than try your hardest in turning your feelings down.

Hence Monday morning, you are hesitating to pack the food you promised Taehyung. You know how awkward it must be, especially after ignoring him all through the weekend—but you know it is inconsistent for you to disregard everything because of your silly feelings. Albeit begrudgingly, you pack the food when suddenly a message arrives.

From : Taehyung

Good morning, sunshine, I hope you are feeling better now! Sorry I cannot pick you up today, need to submit my paper :( Will you attend your 8am? Wanna grab breakfast after? xx

You sigh, glancing dully at the food you already pack for him. 

It’s going to be a long day.

After finishing the 8am class, you walk to his faculty to deliver him the food. You are not sure whether you should stay or leave right after—especially after his last message of wanting to eat together. Regardless, you avidly warn your mind that anything that he does or says, it is all just because he somehow likes you, but only as a friend. You severely need to stop wearing your heart on your sleeve. 

That’s how you wait on the university park you promised him, fidgeting uncomfortably with the bag of food on your grasp. Not long until suddenly your name is called, you look up and find two men walking to your side. It’s Taehyung, eyes sparkling and a wide smile that instantly dries your throat… and Jimin. You did not expect that. What is Jimin doing here?! You really thought the deal between you two must be kept hidden for anyone.

“Hi, Y/N!” Taehyung cheerfully walks to you, throwing himself for the seat next to your side. “I’m glad to see you again. Ah, is that your grandma's food?” He asks in delight, not noticing the nervous gaze you point for Jimin’s presence.

“Hi, are you Y/N? I think I saw you before.” Jimin kindly introduces himself, like you wouldn’t know the identity of the infamous fratboy. “I’m Jimin.”

“Hi Jimin, yes I am her. Nice to meet you.”

“Well isn’t it great to finally meet the one that has been taking up lots of Taehyung time.” He civilly smiles. “I see you’ve been hanging out together.”

You are waiting for Taehyung to rectify Jimin’s misunderstanding, but it does not come so you abruptly answer. “Yup, kinda.” You nod nervously. “Only as friends, though. No worries.” 

Jimin nods in mirth, noticing Taehyung’s glare at your unnecessary confirmation. “Sweetheart, you don’t really have to say that to him.”

Jimin takes a seat beside you. “So, are you freshmen? What major are you in?”

“Yup, a political science freshman.” You nod and smile, all because you really couldn’t hold it back when Jimin is just that friendly with a wonderful eye smile. “I know, it must sound boring, right? Your guess is correct.”

That’s how your conversation continues, and Jimin is surprisingly well informed about your major. One thing led to another, and came into the conversation is your side job as a column writer in one of the renowned media in the city. It is easy to forget yourself among the story about your passion in writing, and that’s how you are unconscious to Taehyung who is now practically glued right on your side, his frowning face resting on your shoulder while he slightly nuzzles on your nape—probably disliking the fact that you are too focused on his best friend instead of him. Jimin nearly falls to the ground, laughing his ass off at how childish Taehyung looks right now, lips pouting like a duck. You are telling him about the hurdles of releasing your latest article, Taehyung blatantly shoos him away with his blazing eyes. And as he doesn’t really want to get on his best friend's bad side, he concludes not to prolong his unwanted stay. 

“That’s really interesting, Y/N! I am really interested in your writing, gonna check it after this!” Jimin kindly compliments, and you blush bashfully. You were never complimented in person other than your editor before, so you don’t exactly know what to do now with your face now. 

“I think I’m gonna go now. May I know your number? Let’s talk over coffee sometimes!” Jimin devilishly asks while offering his phone, definitely intending to push his best friend’s buttons. You are just about to receive it when Taehyung is quick to slap the man’s hand away.

“I’ll give you the number.” He curtly answers, not a hint of entertainment is shown in his face. “Now leave.”

Sensing Taehyung's hostility towards his own thoughtful best friend, you are quick to glare at him. “Jimin, don’t mind him! You can tag along, let’s grab some food!”

Jimin knows that he will probably never live peacefully if he were to accept the offer, but he just can’t resist that one last kick in. “I’d love to…” and as expected Taehyung instantly mouths him a curse word, and then Jimin sends a polite smile at you. “But I have something urgent. Gotta leave now.”

“That’s too bad!” You pout, looking disheartened. Taehyung rolls his eyes.

Somehow, Jimin still has the guts to send you a wink, and Taehyung literally is this close to kicking his own best friend’s ass. “See you soon, Y/N! I’ll text you—that if Taehyung ever will give me your number.”

“Don’t bet on it.” Taehyung hiss under his breath, still glaring at his best friend giving you a small wave that you gladly reciprocate. Fuckers. He never should’ve brought that flirty ass with him.

“I like your best friend.” You mention out of nowhere, and Taehyung’s ears immediately perk up in distaste. “He seems nice. I can’t believe he actually wants to be your best friend without you bribing him whatsoever.”

“Nice? Wow, that’s the furthest word that can explain Jimin. Don’t believe him, Y/N—he is even worse than me.” Taehyung scornfully mutters, deciding to open the lunch bag to ignore the irritation inside his chest at Jimin’s name rolling off your lips. “He could be the worst and you shouldn’t believe him. He was literally hitting on you! I won’t give your numbers to him.”

“I kinda believe he is not hitting on me, Taehyung. I would know, because he is not treating me like you do.” You sarcastically sneer, helping Taehyung to open a few of the lunchboxes you prepared. “And you can give my number to him! I believe he won’t do anything—besides, I am also interested in a few of his points. Could be a great reference to my article.”

“Hey, how come I just knew you are a writer too?” Taehyung frowns, offering you a bite before he begins to eat. You are flustered with the gesture, but welcome it otherwise. “I thought we told each other everything.”

“Ah, that. It’s no biggies! I started it as an interest since high school, then I tried submitting it to a publication company and passed! I like doing it, and it is a good pay too.” You explain after munching on the bite he offered. “It’s not much, but yeah. It’s from my own hand, so..”

“I would love to get some side jobs too.” Taehyung responds, relentlessly offering you another bite. “I never know what it feels to spend the money you worked so hard in. I think I need to find something that pays.”

You quickly tap him in excitement. “You know what? You should make a fake boyfriend business. You’d be great.” You smile, albeit dimly, it was one of your most effective ways of handling difficulties—you joke about it. “I’d give testimonies too, but will need a few percent of your income, bro. Sorry.”

Taehyung thinly smiles, shaking his head. “Nah. I thought about that, but I think that’d be hard.”

“Why?” Your left eyebrows raised. “I thought you wanted to do it.”

“I think I like it because it is you.” He shyly scratches his nape, unable to meet your eyes. “I don’t really want to do it with anyone else. You are great, Y/N, and you make this so comfortable. I can’t imagine the disappointment of knowing there’s no other fake girlfriend who can be as good as you are to me.

Your head literally spins at his sentence, and all you want to do is shout, pleading for Taehyung to stop messing with your head. You hate the fact that he still has that same, great effect on you after the hurtful thing he said—but how can you say it without making a fool of yourself? How can you say it without letting him know that you are an idiot that fell for a fuckboy like him, bad?

A short silence ensues before Taehyung opens another topic. “You know, Y/N, since I watched lots, I mean lots of rom-com lately, I figure that it’s mostly the same. Do you think lots of women are into that cheesy dinner, movie, or walk on a beach for first dates?”

You roll your eyes, pushing the spoon he offered for you to eat for him instead, as he has been giving you too many portions now. “No, I don’t know. And you know I can’t speak on behalf of ‘lots of women’.”

He nods in understanding, then continues. “I see. What bout you, then? Are you into it?”

You suddenly grin at him in amusement. “So are you asking me that, because you want to know about my preference but start with that lame question directed for all women?”

He shrugs carelessly, lips grinning. “Maybe. Just curious. So, are you into it?”

Otherwise, you still answer. “Yup, I do. I think it’s cool. I used to want to go to the beach for a first date, but then I once watched a drama which the first dates are cooking class!” You smile dreamily. “That must be fun, cooking together. Very useful too.”

He nods, humming. “I think everything would be fun if it’s with you.” Taehyung is clearly mumbling to himself, and you hate yourself for still being able to catch it, yet you keep your lips tight.

Another ten minutes of silence. “So… Friday.” Taehyung clears his throat, trying to mask the nerves in his tone. The mood abruptly shifts at the remembrance of Friday last week. “I’m sorry if I was too forward, Y/N. It is confusing, I know.. but I meant every word.”

Meant every word? He must be joking. You look at him with tranquility, no emotion whatsoever. “No, don’t be sorry. It’s my fault too. I never should have discussed it with fuckboys like you whom I already know will always speak ill of relationship and settling down. It’s my fault.”

He knows you probably didn't mean it, but deep down he feels irritated on how you pronounce every word. Like he is at fault for saying what he truly feels. “Yes, that’s correct. I make it straight and clear with everyone—I am not looking for anything else serious. I don’t want to be tied down by anything and anyone.”

Taehyung is becoming defensive—you can feel it. But the annoyance and emotional distress is too much you are unable to hold another rebuttal. “Then maybe you should stop doing anything that might make people get the wrong idea. What would they think if they see you constantly hanging out with a girl, right?”

“What are you talking about?” He asks in deep confusion.

“Didn’t you hear yourself, Taehyung? Did you even hear the things you say to me?” You ironically had to point everything out. You really were not going to discuss this... “What would your flings think if they hear what you say to me, huh? They’d be disappointed, don’t you think so?”

“What—what are you on about?! I don’t care about what they think. That’s absolutely the last thing I care about. And even if they hear, they would understand we are platonic best friends, they would know.”

The word platonic best friends practically stabs you in the chest, the familiar agonizing feeling is a hundred times worse now that he is the one saying it with his own mouth. “Wow. Platonic best friends.” You whisper, swallowing the sour taste in your mouth, to get it right inside your head. Platonic best friends. It’s what Taehyung thinks of you.

“I don’t recall platonic best friends also entails making out in a car and shoving the tongue in each other’s mouth, but go on.” 

Taehyung looks at you weirdly, like you’ve just grown another head. “It’s just a simple, fun, harmless kiss. Why are you making such a big deal of it?”

Wow, how wrong he is because he doesn't know how bad the so-called platonic kiss was messing your head all through the weekend and forward. You hate how every word coming out of his mouth hurt you again and again and you still too stubborn to let it go. There’s no use, why can’t you just accept the cold, hard truth? “Okay, then. Noted. No harm done.”

Taehyung notices that even though you concluded the conversation, both of you are still too deep in emotion of irritation for each other. He sighs at your cold and distant gesture, looking at you tiredly while massaging his temple.

“What do you want from me, Y/N?” 

You turn to him and scoff. “What I want from you? Huh, that’s fun.” You fake enthusiasm, looking at him with a sardonic smirk. “I want you to stop crossing that ‘platonic best friend’ border. Stop confusing everyone. Don’t say things platonic best friends would not tell each other. Tell your friends straight that we are not dating. Don’t depend on your ‘platonic best friend’ your whole life like you mean it. And let’s not kiss. Just do everything like what we promised to do—in front of my parents.” You are now this close to bawl your eyes out, the familiar sting is appearing. “Or you know what? We don’t even have to do that anymore.”

Stop confusing everyone? More like stop confusing you. You are the one that needs clarity, but you throw that on him. Seeing the shock coloring his face, the guilt finally kicks in. You don’t mean it like that, you know his mind is assuming the furthest thing from what you actually mean. You are close to apologizing, but you know it’s what you desperately need. It’s better to make him hate you now, so you can try to move on without the ugly, unreciprocated feeling inside your chest.

Taehyung grins, pain written all over his face. “You really do not want to be perceived like that with me, huh.. Do you really care about what anyone thinks about us that much? Let them think what they want to think—I don’t give a fuck.” 

You can’t believe that Taehyung still hasn’t gotten the idea that this all is what you do to protect your heart from the damage caused by his affectionate self. But you tighten your lips, not wanting to correct him and make a fool of yourself. It’s good as it is—let him assume anything he wants. As long as you can finally breathe without hurting again.

“You know what? You got it.” Taehyung suddenly stands up, eyes glistening and face turning red with fury and emotion. It’s the first time you saw him so upset and nearly in tears, and your chest clenched at the thought that you’ve hurt him greatly. “Just do whatever you want, Y/N. I don’t care.”

And then he left you alone, with the lunchboxes of food he barely touched. One realization kicks in, and you could not hold back a wince along with tears raining on your parade. You don’t know it would hurt that much to protect your heart.

It’s really the end, is it?

*

It’s been two weeks since that one last rendezvous that ended with a great fight with Taehyung, and that you haven’t had a single contact with him ever since. Now that you have no other business, you would go to university only for classes, and directly head home after. The finals were starting a week ago, and albeit hard, you are glad it kinda took most of your time and concentration so you don’t have to dwell on the fact that you lost someone so precious—just because you couldn’t hold your exhaustive feeling back. But you couldn’t lie that every night before sleep, you would stare at your ceiling and held back the tears, the betrayed face of Taehyung would always haunt you. Then come along with the concern if he is sleeping well, if he doing well, if he eats well, and if he was just as distraught as you were.

Your parents also had been noticing that their daughter was too silent to be true, but when they tried asking you about it, you just shrugged and confirmed that it’s nothing they should worry about. They thankfully were out of your space after, and you were more than jubilant for their rare understanding. They did not also ask about Taehyung—which was kind of surprising, but you are most absolutely not complaining and did not ask any further.

What successfully made you go through all agonizing two weeks is your strong will for your study, and finals were held since last week. Being so out of character, you start studying right after that spat with Taehyung, just so you can busy yourself and try thinking about him less. Albeit not working as effectively as you thought—you drift away too much to be proud of—but it was a great distraction. Now that it is finished, you are in faze, confused and not knowing what else to do.

That’s how you end up sleeping right after your last final test on Friday morning, and then wake up exactly 7pm to the sound of your phone ringing, signaling a new incoming message. You cannot even deny that you foolishly wished it to be Taehyung messaging you right now, but the thought was quick to be discarded as it turns out to be an unknown number. You sigh in faint disappointment, before reluctantly opening the said message.

From : Unknown Number

Hi, Y/N! It’s Jimin :) hope you still remember me. We are having a frat party to celebrate finals, starting at 9pm. Do come, we’d be glad to see u here! 😚

You re-read the message again and again, until it finally dawns on you. It’s Jimin, Taehyung’s best friend that is now asking you to come to their frat party—which also means he would be there too. And how did Jimin get your number? Did he somehow get it from Taehyung? But you were positive Taehyung already redacted all of your information and traces you were ever in his life, all because what a jerk you have been to him. You are hesitating. Did Jimin know that you are no longer in contact with Taehyung?

The name of your fake boyfriend suddenly reminds you of his smile, his kind words, and the amazing thing he has done for you—and it literally rubs the salt on the fresh wound inside your heart. You miss him terribly, and the thought of seeing him again after two weeks hurts and excites you simultaneously. You know it is literally a bad recipe for disaster—you should just stay back and get some sleep—but how long will you avoid all kinds of socialization because of your heartbreak? It’s no longer about him. You miss your friend, you miss the euphoria of partying, and you miss your freedom when he was just a nobody. You miss having a warm body close to you, pleasuring you in no other way could.

And that’s how you decided to pack your maroon halter dress with a black pumps that accentuate your ass, and say goodbye to your parents and that you’ll stay the night with your friends to celebrate finishing finals.

You are determined. Today, you are going to party so hard you’ll forget Kim Taehyung ever existed.

*

After getting ready to go to Jimin’s frat party in Yuri, your same-major friend’s dorm, you take a look again at yourself in front of the mirror. You quickly shift again the dress to stop at your knees, but it quickly rises again due to the short length. Sighing, you slightly regret to go with this dress you even forgot buying before—it could be the present from your friends, it must be. You also cringe at the amount of cleavage showing from the peek of your dress. Regardless of not being too obvious, but it is still too revealing for your own standard.

“Hey, you look perfect, honey.” Seungyeon smiles in encouragement, noticing the insecurities painted on your face. “This is the day we’ll free our mind from literal hell called finals, and get drunk to our heart's content. Lighten up!”

“Let’s go, I think the party has started.” Yuri mentions, grabbing her purse. You hesitantly walk out, seeing Minho, Yuri’s boyfriend is already waiting in front with his car. You don’t really know why there must be a car when her dorm with Jimin’s dorm is just two hundred metres away, but after walking with these thorny heels, you agree with her choice.

Arriving in front of the loud ass dorm’s door, you heave a deep breath repeatedly, gradually getting nervous ever since you step out of Yuri’s dorm. It’s not really you—you are always confident with these kinds of parties and know it like the back of your hand. What is making you nervous? Even your subconcious know the answer too well—it’s because of a certain Kim Taehyung.

You already calculated every possible scenario of meeting Taehyung again, and the most plausible one is for him to ignore you for the whole night and you decided to trash yourself until you found someone to sleep with tonight, the end. You wince, noticing how you despise the thought. Not that you are against it, but you are not really the one to go after one night stands—you even promised to put yourself away from these fuckboys radar—but the pain inside your chest is overmuch and what you desperately need is a good fuck that you will not remember the pain you caused yourself of Taehyung.

When you enter the dorm, it is already blazing with beats, the sounds of cheers are heard nearly every corner. You try to lock your gaze straight ahead, holding back the desire to explore every corner to see Taehyung and what he is doing. One thing you force inside your mind is that he must be with his girls, and it is useless to even search for him—it’s going to hurt you and nothing else. Tonight, you need to focus on yourself.

“Let’s get some drinks!” Seungyeon shouts in delight with Yuri, while you walk behind them to follow to the kitchen where the alcohol is served. You expertly pour whiskey on your glass, quickly sipping on the liquid and closing your eyes. Albeit cheap alcohol, at least the sensation of it leaves on your tongue is still delightful. 

“Y/N! You’re here!”

You look back, finding Jimin with his usual wide smile walking to you. You rest your drinks, walking up to receive his surprising hug. “I’m glad to finally see you again here!”

“Yup-yup. Me too, Jimin.” You answer with an awkward smile. “Thank you for inviting me. The finals are rough, I’m glad I can finally drink the pain away.”

Jimin giggles, showing his cute moon creases eyes and you can’t help but to sincerely laugh with him. “I’m happy too! Hey, I gotta go. Talk to you later, okay?”

You hum in agreement, and when Jimin has disappeared in the crowd, Seungyeon is quick to hit you in the shoulder, her eyes opening in glint. “Hey! Since where are you close to Jimin?!”

At the question, you are caught off guard. What should you say? That you have a fake boyfriend for the sake of making your parents happy and it is Kim Taehyung? Even saying like that you even have a hard time believing it. “Yup. We just met through a mutual friend.”

Luckily your friend buys your lackluster explanation, especially when Yuri is heard to call both of you “Hey girls! Minho is asking us to join them! Let’s go.” 

Right when you are about to say yes, the corner of your eyes immediately catches someone so familiar, the one you have tried avoiding with all your heart, with a girl glued on his side, chuckling their heart away. It’s Taehyung. 

His right arm is around the girl’s slim waist, while her face is just a whisper away from his earlobe, whispering something that causes the glint of amusement in Taehyung’s face. The image quickly hammers you directly in the chest, and it feels like someone just stabs your heart. Here you are, two agonizing weeks trying and failing miserably just to get him off your head while he is out there living his best life, fucking girls like he never says how special you were to him. But who are you kidding? Are you seriously thinking he means everything? You must be dumber than you thought.

That’s how you quickly change your mind to your friend’s offer. “No, I think I need more drinks. Gonna join you guys later.”

Seungyeon nods in hesitance, realizing of your sudden change in demeanor but does not say a word. “Okay. Join us soon, Y/N.”

You hum, and after they left you alone in the kitchen, you rest both of your palm on the sink, lowering your head to let the tears fall without ruining your makeup. Fuck, now everything is a mess. You seriously thought you were mentally prepared to see Taehyung again back on his fuckboy activities, but how wrong you were. You are still hurt and  the irrefutable fact that you still like him makes your blood boils. You hate being weak for someone who doesn’t deserve your once of care.

“Hey. Are you okay?” 

You suddenly look up, noticing your vision has turned hazy due to the tears welling up in your eyes. You swiftly wipe them with a tissue, and notice that it is Hoseok standing in front of you. You put up a forced smile for reassurance. “I’m fine. Sorry, I know I am being weird at your party.”

“Hey, you’re not the first. I just want to check why a pretty girl such as you is doing alone in the kitchen.” He smiles widely, showing the pearly whites that are so contagious you have to smile as well. “Are you okay?”

You wince. Do you really have to lie for this one? Hoseok is a stranger, so there should be no issue in telling him what really is going on in your mind, right? And you are literally crying, it’s obvious you are not okay. “Not really. I kinda feel the worst right now.”

“What happened? Just broke up with your boyfriend?”

You bit your lips at his statement, because something inside of you just wants to share your feelings and thoughts to someone, albeit a stranger—that’s just how desperate you are. The fact that you have been caging it inside your chest for the whole two weeks really frustrates your whole being. “Not really a breakup, but you can call it like that.”

Hoseok smiles, patting your shoulder and squeezing it encouragingly. “You know what? I think you are a strong girl. I don’t know much about you, but I can tell just that. You’ll get through this. He is probably a jerk who doesn’t know what he’s missing. It’s his loss.”

“Well, it’s hard to say. Since he clearly states that he is not looking for anything but short fun.” You say involuntarily, still not knowing why you have to explain it in detail to someone you just know. “I just think that after a month hanging out, and how he did anything he shouldn’t do for just anyone else, I thought I was kinda special you know?” You wince at your desperate words. God, you must have sounded like a stuck up, delusional helpless bitch.

Hoseok nods in clear understanding. “Wow, that’s a lot to process. Do I know who this guy is? Does he go to this college too?”

You solemnly chuckle, sipping on your drinks. Ironic. “You know him so well. Too well, I think.”

Hoseok eyes glint in amusement. “Wow, I see. So, you wanna drink outside and talk? Might make you feel better.” He kindly offers, and you raise your left eyebrow. It was out of your expectation for him to be treating you with such care. “I know it’s weird and we just know each other. But somehow I just feel like I can’t leave you like this. You can reject it if you’re uncomfortable.”

“Really? You just want to listen to me talk about my annoying love problems, just like that?” You look at him weirdly, and he shrugs. 

“Kinda? I am not really busy, might as well listen to your ‘annoying love problems’. Besides, I’m only letting you know this—there is going to be a surprise in nearly midnight. I wanna lay low to prepare myself for that.” He giggles, pouring him another drink and offering to yours. You nod, directing your glass.

“Really? Not so you can take advantage of a heartbroken girl and get something-something instead?” 

He holds his hand to his chest, faking a shock. “I—I’m not like that!” and then he continues with a cunning grin. “But feel free to, if you want. Who am I, a mere mortal to refuse a kiss from such a pretty girl like you?”

You giggle at his exaggerating words, and follow him to the outside of the frat, walking to take a seat on the wall patio—you remember this, the exact place Jungkook confessed to your best friend. The heartfelt, one-of-a-kind moment that literally leaves you breathless just listening to it. You know you are sincerely happy for them, yet involuntarily you are slightly envious. Will you ever get someone who loves you like that? And now you are stuck liking a fuckboy. Damn.

“You look beautiful, by the way.” Hoseok smiles charmingly, right after both of you are safely seated. You look up to him in questions. “It’s nothing—I just think it would be a crime not to compliment someone this beautiful.”

You sneer at his flirtatious words, but are unable to hold back the smile. “Thank you, Hoseok. You don’t look so bad yourself.”

“So, tell me about this jerk. No worry, you can censor the guy if you are uncomfortable.” Hoseok continues, still with his trademark wide smile. You chuckles, then proceed to tell him the story of you and Taehyung with lots of things censored—mostly the things you feel inappropriate to talk to him, especially Taehyung’s secret and stories. And just talking to him makes you realize Hoseok could be the greatest listener ever. He doesn’t rebut, just sit there while attentively listening to your stories while giving his short opinion once in a while. 

The night is relatively warm, but the thing that makes you anxious while talking is how uncomfortably short your dress is, especially while sitting on a freaking patio wall. Hoseok must have noticed your gesture, and voluntarily discards his jacket and settles it on your lap. You mutter your small thank you and smile, before he asking you to continue the story.

“So, somehow by your story, I get that you like this guy who I think likes you, but is allergic to relationships?” Hoseok asks and you quickly shake your head in shame.

“No! It’s not it—but I still don’t know if he likes me or not. I just… I just assume that way.”

“But he told you he is the most comfortable with you and wants to be selfish until you find someone else.” Hoseok snorts, disliking the fact that he has to say that to himself. “I don’t really know this guy, Y/N, but he sounds like a jerk that needs a fact check. How can someone be so in denial?”

You fidget your fingers. “But there is a chance he doesn’t like me—”

“If what you’re saying is true, I don’t think he’s playing. He might even like you, Y/N. He does.” Hoseok firmly states. “I know this guy is insensitive as hell, but maybe he needs that one fact directly on his face? I know that it may not make sense—but you haven’t really confessed, Y/N. You are beating around the bush, and this guy may be dense as hell and need that straight to his face.”

You groan, listening to something that definitely has passed your mind before, but now directly hearing it from someone else is making it real. “Why? Why would I voluntarily hurt myself when I know there is no chance in hell this guy even wants to be in a relationship?”

Hoseok rests his palm on your knees in a soothing manner. “I know it doesn’t make sense—but it’s not for him. It’s for you.” You stare at him back, waiting for him to continue.

“If you don’t confess, you’ll always wonder, Y/N. And based on what you just told me, this feeling you have is quite exhaustive and has a great effect on you which is not really good for your well being. At least, let him close the door on the possibility of being together, and then you’ll know you tried your best? Trust me, I learned it the hard way. You don’t have to repeat my mistake.” He calmly says.

Five minutes spent only with you staring at Hoseok intently that involuntarily makes him blush. “W-what is it? Is there something on my face?” 

“Yup. Handsomeness. You’re very attractive, do you know that, Hoseok?” You ask him seriously, and Hoseok is literally too shocked at your forwardness that he nearly falls off the patio wall. “And you are such a great listener. God—how can someone be so perfect?”

Hoseok quickly grabs on the glass of whiskey you have consumed all through the night, finding it now empty. He hisses. “Y/N, don’t say that. You are drunk, and it’s not you right now speaking.”

“It’s me! I’m not drunk. I don’t get drunk, Hoseok. Ever!” You chuckle delightfully, feeling your body and mind are light. Yes, you may be drunk, but it is not till the point you are losing a grip. You are still well aware of the whole situation, even if it's no longer the same sober, shy you. It’s a ten times braver you now in control, and you are happy this side of you are now in control. 

You suddenly hug Hoseok, resting your face on his shoulder with your front body is now pressed to his side. “Hey, can we kiss?”

“What?!”

You clack your tongue, frowning in disdain. “I hate that I always think about that bastard’s kiss. Can you kiss me now and help me forget about it?”

“Y/N, you are not you right now, stop—” 

Ignoring his warnings, you still proceed to teasingly bite Hoseok’s earlobe, your lips slowly kissing down to his nape trailing down to his collarbone. You don’t know what you are thinking—you must have lost your mind to be this brave. But it really feels good to have Hoseok next to you right now, caring about you with his mindful words and compliments. You miss that feeling of being needed, desperately wishing for every conflict inside your head to just stop.

“Y/N…” 

Your lips then rest on Hoseok’s collarbone and suck on it like there’s no tomorrow, his appreciative moan is now heard like music to your ears. It is easy to detect that he is blown away, already far inside pleasure to stop you. But when your fingers shift to open his button, Hoseok quickly stops your hand going further.

“Y/N, no. Let’s not go there. We can kiss, but no further than that.” Hoseok firmly says, more to himself. You are drunk and vulnerable, and he is not taking an advantage of that, no matter how much he is turned on right now. He is not a monster. 

You nod still with a frown of dislike for Hoseok’s limitation, resting your palm on his face and pushing yourself closer to him if it’s even possible, pressing his lips with your own. But just after your lips are touching his supple ones, a booming voice is heard from the inside of the dorm, and even your drunken mind can identify who it is calling your name with such anger. Fucking Kim Taehyung.

“What?!” You spit back in the same amount of anger, looking back to Taehyung who is now striding towards you and Hoseok. Looking at the scene, Taehyung is easy to detect your smeared red lipstick on Hoseok’s nape, down to his collarbone which he can detect reddening hickey, and Taehyung really feels his blood boil. He shoves Hoseok away from you, completely flabbergasting the unknowing man.

“What the fuck, Taehyung?!”

Taehyung doesn’t even mind the guy’s bewildered question, focusing on you instead. He can vividly smell the strong scent of alcohol radiating from you, and instinctively scrunch his nose. “Y/N, what are you doing, getting drunk and making out with Hoseok at this time of the night?”

“What the fuck do you care?!” You hiss, pushing him away in disgust. You are about to head for Hoseok and leave the angry man. “Stop following me, ‘platonic best friend’. I can do whoever and whatever I want, don’t stop me.”

Taehyung firmly holds you back by the waist while you try to shove him away. Hoseok really is about to help you, but he is quick to understand the fact that the man that has been bothering your mind is indeed his frat brother, Taehyung. That’s the reason he quickly left the scene with no further question asked.

“Y/N, stop doing this, please.” Taehyung begs, and you are literally too weak to fight against his strong effort of stopping you. “I know it’s nothing, you can do anything you want. But, not now. Not like this.”

At his words, you suddenly burst to tears. It’s really hard to see him again right now, exactly when you are doing your best effort to forget him. “I don’t want to see you. I hate you..”

Taehyung winces, but otherwise smiles. “That, we can agree. I hate myself too.”

You scrunch and shake your head, slightly drunkenly. Your finger jabs to his firm chest. “No, don’t hate yourself. I am the one who is supposed to hate you.”

Taehyung looks at you warmly, his eyes drinking your appearance like it’s never enough. Oh, how much he misses seeing you again. You are possibly the best thing that ever happened to him, and you can’t even imagine how struggling he is for the past two weeks. He felt angry, dejected, he tried everything to get you off his head, yet he couldn’t. Nothing feels right. No amount of drinks, or girls could par to the moment when he had you beside him, talking to you animatedly and seeing you be happy. He really tried his hardest to suppress the feeling, because you told it yourself. You want him to stop. You want him away.

“You are an idiot.” You sob, now move and circle your arm around his waist, closing your eyes. Taehyung can feel his heartbeat rapidly rise, your face just inches away from him. “I hate you. You are an idiot. How can you do this to me…”

Exactly ten minutes staying with you and his arm, Taehyung finally concludes after you are now weak, brain soaked in alcohol. “Let’s get you home.” Taehyung whispers, trying to get you to move, which fails miserably because you instantly fall on your knees and scrape your skin. You wince in pain which shoots to your twisted ankle, all because the godforsaken pumps that have been killing your feet ever since you wore it. 

Seeing you crying in pain, he immediately looks down to check on the injured ankle. Noticing that albeit not concerning, you are still unable to walk on your feet especially with those silly heels you are wearing. He instantly scoops you to get on his back. Noticing that your mini dress has ridden right to your upper leg, he effortfully squats to grab a shirt laid on your before, which high possibility belonged to Hoseok due to the distinctive brand. He hiss, then uses it to hide your exposed thigh. 

“Y/N, don’t get drunk again and wear anything like this again. Such hassle.” Taehyung sincerely begs, but you are far too drunk, the amount of alcohol in your blood has completely taken over your consciousness—you become sleepy. “Let’s go.”

Taehyung really doesn’t have any other mind or care other than taking you far away from his frat, so that’s how he decided to piggyback you to his car while carelessly passing inside his frat house which was filled with people animatedly enjoying the party. That’s also exactly how people literally stop whatever they are doing, instead paying all of their attention to the peculiar person piggybacking someone else crossing the room. 

With not much thought, Taehyung carefully rests you on the passenger side of his car, securely putting on the seatbelt while you mumble incoherent things, eyes still fluttering closed. Looking at your serene sleeping face, he is unable to bite back a smile—probably the first sincere smile he had since two weeks ago. He carefully tucks you in, caressing the side of your face carefully not to wake you up, before closing the door. 

He is about to walk to the driver side, right when someone hastily walks out of the frat house and yells at him. Jung Hoseok.

“Hey, where are you taking her?!” Hoseok shouts, and Taehyung annoyedly rolls his eyes and decides to ignore the older man. He takes a seat and about to drive off, but when his eyes detect something unwelcome is still placed inside his car, he quickly grabs the item and throws it to Hoseok.

“Thanks, but it is unnecessary.” Taehyung smirks, flipping the man off before getting ready to drive off. Hoseok huffs in disbelief, walking to grab the pavement, where Taehyung carelessly throws his high branded jacket. 

“Fuck you, Taehyung you ungrateful bastard! This is Balenciaga!”

*

Deciding that it would be greatly improper for him to take you back to your parent’s place drunk, injured and wearing an unconservative dress, Taehyung decides to bring you to his new apartment downtown, near Han River. It was quite a shameful road as well, to be bringing a drunk, injured girl back to his apartment—he has to endure the judgemental looks thrown at him, but he really doesn’t give a shit about those judgemental minds.

He carefully lay you back on his bed. There’s no other furniture here beside his bed, widescreen plasma TV with xbox, a small couch and his closet, since the movers are going to move the rest of the furniture tomorrow. That’s how he has to lay you back on his comfortable, plain white bed with his favorite grey fur blanket—which he admittedly bought after that time of your first encounter of staying the night in your apartment and using your comfortable blanket.

After seeing you are well rested on the bed, Taehyung grabs a medicine box that is placed on the corner of his room, courtesy of his building’s super. He grabs few of the requirements; bandages, cold ice for compress, and few of the ointment Jungkook mentioned before when he was injured during sports. Still in his tight ass jeans, he forces himself to try in tending your injury, all so careful like he is taking care of a newborn baby. Once in a while you would frown, groan when the pain shoots up, but finally the job is done, your ankle is now bandaged and waiting to heal while you are still mumbling, your face buried on the pillow. 

Taehyung looks at you in silence, before a smile reaches his lips. “You baby.” He affectionately scolds, flicking his fingers to your forehead. You whimper, pouting while massaging your forehead. 

“Stop interrupting me. Aaah why is this so tight—” You complain in frustration, suddenly raise up and zipping off your tight dress. 

At your sudden, unpredictable motions, Taehyung is quick to jump outside of the bed, running to his closet to grab a shirt and pants for you to wear, throwing it to you, still not opening his eyes. “Wear this.” He says nervously with his cheeks blazing red.

A few adequate seconds, Taehyung spins, expecting you to be safely secured wearing his plain t-shirt, but instead you are still in your black lacy bra and underwear, now zooming off to dreamland. He hisses still bashful, walking up to you and motioning you to sit up. 

“I’m sleepy, don’t bother me..” You refuse with a pout, but the more seconds pass, the more red Taehyung is. He is trying to focus on the task on hand, scoops you right by a hand on your back, helping you to wear his shirt. You instantly laid back in his bad, probably already zooming off to dreamland.

A few minutes pass, Taehyung spends only by admiring your existence now in front of him, wearing his shirt. He never liked it before—women wear his shirt, especially his favorite celine one you are wearing right now in your sleep—but he seriously thinks you look better with it than he does. How can you be so effortlessly pretty is beyond him. But who is he kidding? You are different, he should’ve known. You literally are the only girl who successfully made him break his platinum rules only in a span of 24 hours—you are just that special.

Realizing that it is improper for him to sleep beside you—supported by the fact that you are drunk and was literally furiously angry with him before, Taehyung decides to use the small couch as his place to sleep tonight; no matter how tired he is throughout the day, especially carrying you nearly all the way to finally rest peacefully. He is about to exit the room, when your fingers clasped on his wrist to hold him back.

“Where are you going?” You whispers, your eyes are gleaming solemnly. It successfully made something stir inside him—regret, hate and pain. “Are you leaving me?”

“No, of course not. I’ll be outside, Y/N. Get some rest.” He responds softly, caressing the side of your face. He cannot understand what he is feeling by seeing how broken you look right now. Why are you this sad? Do you hate him? Are you ashamed of him? He really wants to know yet simultaneously despise finding out if it will only hurt him. 

“Can’t you stay?” You whisper, the tears are already lounging in the corner of your eyes. “I know you don’t like me, Taehyung. You may hate me too—but can you please stay? This once?”

“What are you—why would I hate you, Y/N…” He calmly explains, even if in his head he is in war. How could you think he hated you? He is the furthest from hate for you, that’s for sure. He likes you so much, even after the hurt you caused him when you closed him off and refused him that day. He will always adore you.

“Stay.” You plead. “Stay here.”

And looking at your eyes now desperately pointed at him, how can he refuse? Carefully climbing up his bed, he takes the farthest side of the bed, careful not to make physical contact with you. All because he couldn’t believe himself around you, and how crazy you make him.

Taehyung is trying hard to close his eyes—with his heartbeat still echoes on his ear—but still failing so. He turns to steal a glance at you, and finds that you are not sleeping anymore, instead staring at him. He immediately squirms at the intensity of your gaze.

“You know, you should get some sleep, sweetheart. Your head must be killing you in the morning.” He advises, now braving himself to look back at you. “I hope some food and aspirin can cure it. I’ll buy it first thing in the morning.”

“Do you care about me?”  

At that sudden question, Taehyung is taken aback, but instinctively nods without further thinking. “Of course. I care about you so much. I care about you the most in this whole world.”

“Are you lying?” You innocently ask and Taehyung chuckles in amusement, shaking his head.

“What do you think of Hoseok? Does he care about me?”

Taehyung instinctively hisses, rolling his eyes at the mention of the annoying man’s name out of your lips. “Why would he care about you? He only wants to sleep with you and never call back the next day. You deserve more than that.”

You pout and shake your head. “But when I kissed him he said he doesn't want to sleep with me while I’m drunk. He must be nice, right?”

At that thought, Taehyung feels his throat dry. Yes, Hoseok could be one of the brothers he respected the most. He is kind, hard-working and respectful with everyone. But at the thought of the previous kiss you shared with him, Taehyung is unable to hold back the shock and betrayal—like a ton of bricks falling at his chest. He hates the thought so much he would do anything to erase the image in his head. But how can it explain it to you without sounding like a weirdo? He doesn’t even understand his feelings.

“He is nice..” Wow, he doesn’t even know it would be that hard. “But I think you can do better.”

You sigh, closing your eyes tiredly and Taehyung never felt more like an idiot before. “I don’t think I can do better. I don’t have many options, unlike you. I know it must be easy for you to be wanted by so many girls. I bet you are over the moon.”

Taehyung frowns at your easily detected sarcastic statement. “Not really. I don’t know why everyone thinks like that.”

You look at him with indecipherable expression. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t think they make me happy.” Taehyung hesitantly asks, uncertain whether he is able to say what he really wants to say without sounding like an idiot. “They left me in hollowness, I think. I always feel… like the worst person ever after. At one point I even ask what the fuck am I doing with my life..”

At his sincere confession, you reach out to rest your palm on the side of his face. Taehyung instinctively leans to your touch and closes his eyes, savoring the warmth engulfing his being, right from head to toe. He doesn’t know what magic you did to him now that you are able to comfort him without even doing a thing. “You are confused, but nevertheless are doing the best you can. You just need to make better choices from now on. It’s okay..”

You know it doesn’t probably say much, but your sentences literally make him struggle to handle the tears. To hear it from someone that matters the most could be the most rewarding thing he ever received in life. “You are seriously heaven sent. I don’t know what I would do without you.” He whispers calmly, turning his face to peck your palm.

You sigh, lips pouting at him. “Stop confusing me, you bastard.” 

“What—”

“Stop making me feel special if you don’t mean it to be. I have feelings too.” You mutters, now eyes are reddening in tears. “You don’t understand what you have done to me. You confuse me, Taehyung.”

The response is already at his tongue, but he doesn’t know what’s holding him back. Probably the fact that he can’t even say anything coherent to you right now. Or the fact that you have turned your back on him.

That night, Taehyung is left with his own, agonizing thoughts. 

What do you mean by that?

*

The morning has finally arrived, you wake up groaning, feeling the sudden pang on your head due to too much drinking. Your tolerance is usually pretty low, so it’s even a surprise you manage to confidently consume the amount you drank yesterday. You must be that stressed about finals—or Taehyung.

You glance to the front of you, noticing the empty white walls that are greatly unfamiliar with. You shoot your head down, noticing a familiar blanket on your grasp but—what the fuck are you wearing right now? Taehyung’s favorite white overpriced Celine shirt, with no pants worn. You are trying to move, and the pain in your ankle suddenly shoots up and you wince. What the fuck happened last night?

And… whose arm is now safely secured on your waist?

You try looking back slowly, finding the face of the man that literally catch your breath. It’s Taehyung. It’s literally Taehyung, deep in his sleep with his head buried on the pillow, his arms safely tightened around your waist and his chest is glued on your back. Fuck, what did you do last night?! 

Suddenly, the memory comes back like a train wreck. You picked up a maroon tight dress. You walk inside Taehyung’s frat. You cry because you see Taehyung with a girl. Hoseok came and console you. You… you made out with him. Taehyung finds you and gets you home, but then you sprain your ankle due to your pumps. Yet after that, all memories are in pieces you had a hard time putting it together. You wince, cursing your idiocy.

Probably aware of how fidgety you have been inside his arms, Taehyung stirs in his lips, his eyes reluctantly opened to find you are still there. He mumbles, closing his eyes as he buries his face inside your hair. “Good morning.”

You sigh, feeling severely confused at his sudden affectionate gesture. Just last night you were agonizing over whether you wanted to break the two weeks record of not contacting each other, but one day you wake up and are sleeping together—hopefully not in that way. What happened?

“Good morning, Taehyung.” You answer while trying to pronounce it calmly, trying your best not to kick his arm away from you. You really do not want to overthink it. “I need to use your toilet.”

Taehyung nods, but is yet to release the strong grip around you. You clear your throat, cheek turning red. “Your arm, please.”

“Ah, yes. Sorry.” He mutters, instantly distancing his arm. You jump and stride to the toilet with the pants laid on your side as fast as you can with the sprained ankle. Look at your messed up make ups—smudge mascara and eyeliner, uneven foundation, your smeared lipstick! You didn't even wash it yesterday, looking literally like a mess. How can Taehyung be able to see you and not puke?

Two minutes of washing your face and mouthwash due to the reeking smell of alcohol, followed by five minutes of  pep talk in front of the mirror, you walk out to the smell of cooked omelette. The scent immediately gurgles your starving stomach, and you realize you haven’t been eating even before you drank last night. Not a surprise, though, since it is not the first time you being literally a living, forgetful idiot. 

“You cook.” You mutter the oh-so-obvious fact, and Taehyung beams at you, gesturing for you to take a seat.

“I just thought since you or your family has been very kind and offered me free food, I should try to at least repay it. I know it may not be that delicious, but I made soup and omelette. Hope you are hungry.” He smiles and you nod hesitantly, but following his orders regardless of the confusion.

“Taehyung… What happened last night?” You ask slowly when Taehyung is still stirring the pot. “Did… did I do something stupid?”

Taehyung shakes his head. “Well, besides getting drunk, making out with one of frat boys and injuring your ankle? Not much.”

You hiss, knowing that now it literally made sense how dangerous you are while intoxicated. It’s better to avoid those parties—better buy some alcohol and drink alone inside your room. “I know that, but other than that. Did we.. Did we do something? Or did I say something idiot? If I did, you know I probably did not mean it—it’s just a drunken thought.”

“Not really.” He smiles in assurance. “And we did not do anything, of course. You immediately sleep when you get here. Sorry I brought you here without your consent—I was about to take you back to your parents house, but I guess they would be shocked to see you… like this.”

You shudder at the thoughts of your parents catching you drunk and wearing provocative dresses. They’d immediately ground you like you’re still in elementary school. “Thank you—that’s a great choice. I am sorry again, if I was such a hassle yesterday.”

Taehyung hums, and you don’t exactly know what to say next, so you just focus on the grey wall right in front of you. You despise how awkward it has been to be just the two of you with him—as it never really happened before. “So.. is this your apartment?”

Taehyung nods, while pouring the soup to bowls. “Yes. You know I sold my previous apartment, and in return I bought this one.”

You nod, as you remember hearing it before. “It’s nice.”

Taehyung rests the bowl of soup and a plate of omelette and rice on the floor. “Sorry, I haven’t moved my table to this apartment yet. I never eat in my apartment, actually so I did not think it would be necessary to prioritize my dining table to be moved.”

You smile and walk off your seat to sit in front of him on the floor. “It’s okay, this is more than enough. I’m just happy I can finally eat. I was starving, you know.”

Taehyung giggles at your statement. “Yes, you were drunk to your ass. But it’s okay.” He hums. “I like taking care of you.”

You smile with hesitance at his familiar, affectionate words, but decide to disregard the emotion running through your head. You literally owe him so much you will do everything not to ruin or make everything awkward with him again. And to be here with him, you are happy even though you’re hurting. But it’s better this way rather than throw yourself back inside your room, crying miserably and never coming out, like the past two weeks.

“I also want to apologize, Y/N. That day I was so caught up in my own feelings and.. And I disregard your own. I know what I did and say to you is overwhelming, and you have all right to put a limit on it.” Taehyung whispers in deep regret. You gaze at him who is now avoiding your prodding eyes. “I’ll do anything to make you comfortable with me. But please, please don’t push me away.”

In his apology, you find every resolve or defense you have for him is crumbling down. He is still insensitive to your feelings, but you accept it otherwise. Just because you want him back. You’ll try your best, even if it practically kills you to be around him. “I’m fine, Taehyung. Yes, I apologize too. I was not in my best mood as well, and of course I want things to be back as before with you.”

Taehyung grins widely from ear to ear, completely over the moon of your statement. The weight on his shoulder is lifted, and he can finally breathe without torture. “Thank you.”

You nod with the same smile, scooping a spoon for soup and rice inside your mouth. You instinctively hum at the distinct, wonderful taste on your taste buds. “Wow, this is amazing! I didn’t know you could cook!”

Taehyung chuckles, scratching his nape shyly. “Yeah. It’s my grandmother's recipe, I found it in her books after she passed away. Have been using it and I just.. I am glad you like it.”

The warm smile is still formed on your lips, and Taehyung unknowingly pushed his strands out of his forehead. You feel your heart pound faster, the butterfly inside your stomach knocking on your senses. How can someone be gorgeous?With a smile on his face, the red tingling on his cheek, and the way he only looks at you right now. Is it fair for mortals like you to see him like this?

“What.. Is there something in my face?” He asks shyly for noticing your blatant stare, and you blushes hard, realizing that you indeed have been spending some time just admiring his face. God, you are losing your mind.

“I just.. I am glad to see you again.” You whisper truthfully, the urge to speak whatever is in your mind is too heavy to deny. You need to let him know at least that. No matter how your sanity is forbidding you to. Who are you to deny what you feel? You don’t want to hurt him and yourself again by putting up the wall in between. 

“I miss you, Taehyung.”

Taehyung can hold back his toothy smile at your reddening cheeks, his heart soaring at the remarks that have been going through his mind the first time he saw you yesterday. Is it real? Is it a dream? Is it really you, in front of him, saying the things he long to hear the most?

“Me too.” He whispers, holding back the urge to hug you again, to throw his feelings on the table, afraid that it would scare you again. “You can’t possibly understand how much I missed talking to you, hearing your voice again. Let’s don’t do it again, shall we? Let’s not fight.”

You hum in all agreement, then proceed to continue eating. “I don’t even know why you insist on me packing you food. These are delicious. You are a great cook, Tae.” You sincerely compliment. 

Taehyung, still among his deep thoughts gazes at you happily munching on the food he made, and he is conflicted beyond words. Something passed through his mind—the word he has been thinking all night. It’s what you deserve. It’s what he wanted to do. So why is it so hard for him to say the word?

Stop making me feel special if you don’t mean it to be. I have feelings too.

“Let’s go on a date.”

Listening to the word you would never thought to come out of his mouth, you shake your head in disbelief, then sigh. If he is joking, it’s not even remotely funny. “Taehyung, what are you saying…”

Taehyung stares at you in all sincerity, his heart beating so fast he could even hear it echoing in his ear. He is nervous beyond words, palm sweating profusely like he is about to do something dangerous to his life. But it is. He is serious.

“I know you always want to go on a great first date. Let’s do it. With me.”

You look at him in evident doubt, sensing a bit of annoying hope rising in your chest. Is he really serious right now? Kim Taehyung, the fuckboy who is literally allergic to relationships, is asking you out on a date?

“Taehyung, don’t joke with me—” You shifted on your seat, and Taehyung swiftly holds your hand, looking at you in determination.

“I’m not. Let me prove it to you. Go on a date with me.”

That’s how it happened. You are now sitting in front of the mirror in your room that afternoon, getting for your first date with Taehyung. After eating breakfast at his place, he takes you back to your home, promising that he would pick you up in another two hours. You actually think about going straight on a date to just get it over with—your pessimistic mind was literally thinking the date would end in a complete disaster, it’s better to do it fast and quick—but Taehyung refused, wanting everything to be perfect.

“I can just wear your shirt or my red dress if I have to. It’s okay, we can just go now.” You complained when you were still in his apartment, motioning to your very impropriety now—wearing Taehyung’s shirt and pants with smudged makeup. Taehyung clicked his tongue in distaste of your stubbornness.

“No! I know sweetheart, you still look great in that shirt of mine. But I need some time to prepare everything. I want this first date to be perfect.” He reasoned, and you could feel the nerves bubbling in your chest. No. By every effort you and him put in this so-called first date, the more your dim hope will be lit on fire and you knew it could only result in huge disappointment. Even though you were not going to avoid Taehyung anymore, going on this great first date he mentioned is a recipe of disaster and heartbreak. How are you going to keep everything still in its place when it's clear as a day you’ll like him even more—if it’s even possible?

So you decide to go simple. You are wearing a lilac drawstring top, a matching sky blue boyfriend jeans and a pair of t-strap flats that goes with the whole dress theme. You even put on a light makeup, and the whole time you are preparing cannot slow down the rush in your vein, your head turns dizzy at the amount or nerves in your senses. You are never this nervous for a mere date—or even remotely anything.

While you are busy pep talking yourself for the nth time already, your phone rings, signaling Taehyung’s call on your phone. You swipe green to answer. “Hello?”

“Hi, Y/N. I am already outside, and I can see your father tending your garden and he is calling me right now. Come down, yeah? Don’t wanna be late on our first date.” He affectionately whispers, and you can literally imagine the toothy, boxy smile on his lips. You hum as an acknowledgement, closing the call to grab your mini purse and walk down to your parents.

Descending down the stairs, you can see Taehyung in your yard, laughing with your father. Your heart immediately turns warm, your palm turns clammy at the heartwarming sight. You quickly clear your throat, walking to their side. 

“Hi.” You greet him with a shy smile, and when finding you just a few feets away from him, his eyes immediately lightens, a wide smile follows. He instinctively raises his hand for you to grab, and you are hesitant to grab it, but noticing that your father is present as well, you welcome it.

“Hi, Y/N. You look wonderful today.” He compliments, taking your hand closer to his side. Your dad is now smiling at the gesture—and you are unable to conceal the heat blossoming in your cheek. “Are you ready to go?”

“Come home safely, okay? Let me know if you’re back late.” Your father advises with an approving smile, and something literally stirs inside of you at how supportive he is right now with the fact that you are about to go on a date with Taehyung. Your fake boyfriend nods with determination, does a ninety-degree bow to your father and directs you to his car. 

“Where are we going right now?” You ask in evident excitement after seated in his car that successfully sends jitters all over Taehyung’s body. He bit his lower lips and sent you a wink, a smirk formed on his lips. The shyness immediately emerges to your head that you need to hastily turn your face away, feeling the familiar warmth embracing your face.

“Why would I spoil the date to you, hmm? Seems you gotta be patient with this one, sweetheart.”

You shrug your shoulders, heart leaping fast inside your chest while trying to focus on anything but Taehyung and the fact that you are about to have a date with him. But when his fingers suddenly embrace your petite ones and link each finger perfectly with his own, pull and rest it against his thigh,you nearly lose your breath. Is he seriously doing this to you right now?

“Shall we go?” He smiles with a faint hue of red on his cheek, and you respond with a weak nod, trying not to make a fool of yourself even further.

During the road, you can not be more thankful to the fact that Taehyung put on a great effort to make everything comfortable to you. He is literally acting the same, talking animatedly about his frat brothers and the past weeks with Bee Gees song in the background, and the only difference is not even one he lets go of your hand clasped on his. At that time, you hear the loud warning in your head that is pointing about how everything is going to end in a total disaster if you keep opening up to him—But you despise listening to that annoying voice anymore. 

Taehyung is clearly trying his best now, and the fact that he even wanted to have a date with you and prepare everything beforehand is a great progress. Even though you don’t exactly know why or how he is doing all this romantic gesture, you desperately want to try this with him. And even if it fails, you know you won’t regret a thing. Because at least you tried, right?

After twenty minutes on the road, Taehyung finally parks the car and looks up to you in a smile. “Here we are.”

“Where are we?” You query while clasping off your seat belt in amusement at his gesture.

“So I was thinking exactly what we should do for this date. But then I remembered you actually listed all your dream favorite dates, and I just copied it from there. Sorry, I am not really original.” He chuckles shyly while getting off the car, walking to hold your hand again so you won’t fall in your slightly injured ankle. 

“It’s okay.” You giggle and welcome his grasp. “I don’t even remember what I said, actually.”

“Good! Because we are now taking a cooking class.” He informs enthusiastically, and your eyes widen in surprise. “Couple cooking classes, to be exact. Sorry I didn’t register us separately, since I know you injured your ankle so I will be the one at your service!” He chuckles while giving you a salute and you giggle. 

“Are you going to use my ankle as an excuse, now?” You ask in amusement. He mischievously chuckles and pouts.

“Yup, it’s because I want to cook with you. You happy?” But against his expectation of snarky comments, you nod with a shy smile. And it takes massive amount of self-control to stop himself from kissing your supple cheek. He took a deep breath—hopefully nothing can go south with his usual lack of control.

When you are already seated in the class while Taehyung is standing up beside you—due to your slightly aching ankle, he whispers. “I didn’t really tell you this, but we will be making Mexican Food. You will like it.”

You gaze to him strangely—as you really don’t recall telling him you like Mexican Food. “You know I like Mexican Food?”

“Of course. You said that when we first met, that double date with Jungkook.” He explains like it's the most normal thing and it feels like a knock in the stomach to know that he remembered something from that lackluster date a few months ago. How can he remember that small detail? Did he seriously address that as a double date now? You were literally nothing to him but a nuisance, and he used to puke about the idea of it being a double date. 

“You don’t remember?” He asks, raising the left eyebrow.

Your throat dry, but let out a weak reply. “Kind of. Just surprised you would remember that.”

Taehyung rests his chin on top of your head, caressing it softly without sensing your clear rigid changes. “Of course I remember. How can I forget?”

When he says those words you never thought you would hear ever, you never feel more conflicted before. This is dangerous. This is getting to real. You don’t know what would happen if this goes on.

So when the cook who will be teaching you to Mexican Food arrives, you are more than pleased. At least you will have a distraction other than thinking what the fuck Taehyung meant with all he says and does. “Good afternoon, everyone! Today we are going to create Prawn & Chorizo Quesadilla for Appetizer, Chicken & Bean Enchiladas for Main Course and Flan Cake that would be a perfect palate cleanser for dessert. Let’s start!”

That’s how you’ll spend the next two and a half hours cooking with Taehyung, and you do notice how bossy and competitive he can be—does not want to lose to the couple in front of you which is foolish. They literally are not doing anything right, only focus on hugging and kissing. It is a delightful surprise though, as you totally can relate to that nonsense competitiveness he has, so you follow his orders to divide tasks and jobs. So while you are during kneading the pasta for the quesadilla in deep focus, you are startled when Taehyung smears the flour to your face.

“You know, the instructor came to me and said we were too focused on cooking instead of working together as a couple.” He murmurs with an obvious amusement, and you are unable to hold a giggle as well. It’s true though, you haven’t really been communicating for the last thirty minutes other than asking what you should do next or if you are doing this or that right. You and Taehyung also are basically a distance away from each other, a total contrast to the other couples that can’t seem to get their hands off each other.

“I don’t know why they are thinking we should be hugging or kissing in public areas like this. We spend money here to cook, not to make out—we can do that at home.” You defend yourself, still focused on the dough in front of you. Nonchalant to the fact that Taehyung is now staring at you with mirth for your blatant words.

“You are very, very cute. Do you know that?” He purrs all of a sudden, and you look up to him in confusion. You’re cute? That’s very peculiar. “But they do have a point—let’s at least give them what they want. Hmm?”

So at that time, Taehyung swiftly moves to kiss the flour right on your cheek, and you are too shocked to even respond or even move. After a whole ten second, you are able to send Taehyung a glare who is now giggling at your befuddled expression while continuing mixing the sauce for your appetizer and pretending nonchalance. You sigh, moving to proceed to knead the dough again, your brain is literally on fire due to the sudden attack. It is so difficult to think straight now. All because of this jerk, yet you know you are not complaining.

Another fifteen minutes before he speaks up. “Hey. I finished the sauce for quesadilla. Would you like to try?” He asks while offering you a spoon of sauce. You comply by opening up your mouth, letting the sauce enter your mouth and fill it with the unbelievably amazing taste.

“This is amazing!” You squeal in compliments, cannot believe that he created something so delicious and matches with your preference of spicy food. “But this is a bit spicy, are you okay? You don’t like spicy food.”

“You know it! What a nice surprise.” He beams, eyes crinkling cutely. Of course you remember, you have been eating with him and packing him lunch since months ago. You’d be crazy not to remember the first few days, you put an extra chili in his lunch box and he complained to you he got a digestion problem. “Yup, it’s a tad bit too spicy for me, but I’m okay. I want you to like it.”

“Nooo, I am okay with less spicy too! I don’t want you getting a stomach ache in the middle of our date.” You joke and smile comfortingly, but Taehyung still hesitates while looking at the bowl of sauce. “Seriously, Tae. I’m fine. If you’re happy, I am happy too.”

He is now red beet shy, pushing strands of the hair on his forehead which you can now easily identify as him being nervous. “Hey.. That’s supposed to be my line..”

“Sorry, bro. I am claiming it right now.” 

You are mixing the flan cake batter in full concentration, where suddenly a sound of click is heard. You quickly see him giggling whilst looking at his screen, and you snort almost immediately. He must have taken a shot of you while you are in deep focus. “Hey, that’s not nice—let me see that!”

He quickly put his hand up straight, so your petite frame is unable to reach. You pout, trying to use his shoulder as a helper but it is waste in vain. “I would let you see. Only if you give me a kiss.”

You sneer, immediately go back to your seat. “No thanks. I’d rather shot myself.”

“Come on, Y/N! Just a kiss for your date, hmm?” You scrunch your nose in disgust, glaring at him while he innocently throws his gaze around the room. “Please? Pleaseeeee?”

You sigh in surrender, gesturing for him to come closer. He happily strides closer, and you shyly clear your throat, securing your fingers around his jaw. “You’re a jerk.” You hiss bitterly and he chuckles.

But as you inch closer to his left cheek, he quickly turns his face and pecks you in the lips. Completely taken aback to the fact that you just kissed, you instinctively punch him with all your might, right on the chest and send him to a coughing fit. “What the—why did you hit me?!”

“Because you kissed me without my consent!” Even though the surprise is quite nice, you are not really into public display of affection. It’s just not for you. But you know Taehyung had zero rights to be treated like that when he really means well. “I’m sorry, it was just a reflex. I didn’t mean to, sorry.”

Realizing that you literally feel the overwhelming guilt for your reaction to the kiss, Taehyung nods and pat your head in agreement. “It’s okay. It’s my fault too, I should’ve known you better than that. But at least be gentler next time you punch me, hmm? Cause I seriously can see it coming. Soon, even.”

At his clear joke you can finally smile and continue cooking. But then the sound of silent laughter from the couple in the row behind you, a large possibility at the scene that enfolds with the both of you is heard and Taehyung literally is too ashamed to even look up. He literally made a fool of himself to be refused by his own partner among the couple in cooking class. He is indeed a moron.

Noticing just what happened, you feel guilty beyond words and send the couple a glare that makes them literally silent. You huff loudly, and pull Taehyung closer to your side. “Hey.. hey. Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” He mums, still with a childish pout in his lips. Seeing him right now, you are unable to divert your attention from his supple cheeks which are still too red to be true, and it was too inviting to let you kiss it. So that’s why you let yourself to just do it—you land a kiss on his cheek. Taehyung smiles at your obvious encouragement. 

“Hey, let’s save the kiss for later, hmm?” You whispers, carefully helping him fix the messy strands on his forehead. He reluctantly nods, gazing down at you. He seriously couldn’t care less about the turds laughing at them—he can only focus on the warmth in your eyes, he is just unable to look away. How can you be so lovely?

Another hour and the three dishes are finally completed. You cannot even believe you are able to complete all the dishes, and the visual is outstanding—you sincerely cross your fingers they would taste as good as they look. “I can’t believe we did this! This is amazing Tae.” You squeal, trying to take a shot of the food you cooked with Taehyung as much as possible aesthetic as possible. He beams, focused on you and you only.

“Do you want to take a picture together? We can ask the instructor to take it for us.” He asks and you instantly nod in agreement. “Let’s use my phone.” Taehyung offers the phone from his pocket and you receive it, accidentally turning it on so you can see the background photo he uses as wallpaper. Your breath immediately hasten, your eyebrows raised near your hairline. Can.. can it be? Is your eyes deceiving your right now?

It’s you. It’s literally you. Taehyung’s background is the photo he took of you the night both of you went to McDonalds, you were shoving four McDonalds nuggets into your mouth as a bet with Taehyung of ten bucks, and he took that for you. He said he deleted it—but it was clearly a lie since he is now using it as a wallpaper. 

“Are you okay? Let’s pose, sweetheart, he is waiting.” Taehyung peers at you, noticing the sudden change in your demeanor. Noticing how weird you have been, you clear your throat and try to pose a smile with the food you created. One photo taken, the instructor asks for a change in pose—a more romantic one, as it seems like he is so keen in seeing you act as a couple—then you feel Taehyung’s palm resting on the side of your shoulder, leaning his cheek on the top of your head. At that time, everything feels too overwhelming. What is this? Is this a sign? Does he… Does he finally reciprocate the feelings you have for him? Is he finally ready for something more with you?

As Taehyung receives the phone back and mutters his thanks, he swipes the phone to see the photo taken. You stare at him, all smiley and giggly while swiping the photos. He even shows you one photo—the one he leans to you and says with evident glee, “You look really beautiful here. I like this photo.”

You clearly do not respond in his query, too deep in your own thoughts that Taehyung had to ask. “Are you okay, beautiful? Don’t you like the photos?”

Your throats are dry, but you manage to respond with a nervous smile and fake your enthusiasm. “I’m fine, just—just hungry. Let’s try the food.”

*

After finishing the cooking class, Taehyung is still secretive about the next location you are going to have your date, but you kind of get the idea by the time you are one and a half hour long ride inside his car. Taehyung is taking you further from downtown, and you are quite confident he is taking you to a beach, and it is an hour away from sunset. You try asking about it before, but only given a wink as an answer, which is albeit nice is not helping you out of the dark at all.

“I know we are going to Eurwangni Beach! Since there is no way you’re taking me to an airport which is also near, unless you want to sell my organs. Or are you—”

Taehyung chuckles at your joke and raises his eyebrows, teasing you. “Yup, I’m going to sell your unhealthy, contaminated organs, sweetheart. So treasure this moment with me, it might be the last moment of your life.”

“Unhealthy organs?! The audacity. I bet my organs are more healthy and more expensive than yours.” You scoff, folding your arms on your chest. Taehyung beams and ruffles your hair.

“Be patient, okay? We’re only twenty minutes away.”

Another twenty minutes and you can detect the orange tinge in the sky—the sunset is nearing. Taehyung is vividly looking rushed at the sky as well. “Hey, the sunset is soon! Hop on my back, we are going fast.”

You realize the reason he wants you to hop on is because of your aching ankle. You are positive you can walk, but choose not to argue since he completely looks worried—probably for the possibility of being unable to make it on time. You hop on his back, and he literally runs the second his arms are around your legs. At that, it is difficult to shake off the laughter.

It was fortunate that the place is not too far or you’ll feel guilty. It turns out there is a vacant tent set up on the side of the beach with a carpet set up, two drinks, a bowl of fruit and… two canvas? 

Taehyung rests you on the carpet carefully, and he quickly takes a seat beside you . “Taehyung, what is this?” You ask in confusion, noticing he is taking one black duffle bag set on the side. Taehyung chuckles.

“Ah, yes. So you actually listed a beach date on your dream first date, so I am taking you to one. But then I figure since your ankle is injured and to just eat or just talk would be boring, I’m adding a little twist.” Taehyung cunningly smiles, then proceeds to take painting utensils—a brush, paints and other peculiar painting items your uneducated mind is unfamiliar with. “Let’s paint!”

You chuckles in mirth, Taehyung is setting the utensils between the both of you. “I think the sun is setting, we gotta be fast or we should just paint the night sky. Which one do you prefer?” He asks mindlessly, shuffling through the brushes of sizes as you gaze up to him. Something inside of you flutters at how thoughtful he is to the whole date—the fact that he prepared this much for you somehow makes it really hard to remember that he is unfit for someone you can actually trust your heart with.

“I’m okay with everything.” You mumble to him, resting your palm above his own. “But can I ask one thing?” Taehyung easily hums in agreement.

“I want to paint with you. In one canvas.” You shyly look up to him, finding it a bit challenging to speak your mind. “I know I’m not that good, but I really want to paint with you, and talk to you… I am afraid we are going to be too busy with our own paintings, like the cooking class—and I just want to talk with you, actually.”

Taehyung’s eyes are wide as saucers. Are you seriously saying that to him right now? That what you want is to talk to him, and be with him? He seriously considers his hearing is betraying him right now. “I.. of course. That’s a great idea—let’s-let’s do it. So should we paint one for sunset, one for night sky?”

You nod, and Taehyung offers you one brush with a smile. “Let’s do this!”

That’s how you spend the next hour, accompanied by the sound of waves crashing the land, the sun setting beautifully while you and Taehyung are trying to capture the wonderful scenery in front of both of you. The time spent is wonderful, Taehyung telling you about how he finds the wonder of painting. Few years ago, due to the turmoil of his family, he fell into depression and had to go to a psychiatrist. He despised going there at first, but then after a few sessions he finally got a tad bit better and his therapist advised him to paint to help him express the emotions he felt. 

“Yup, and after that I spent lots of my free time painting. My previous apartment was filled with my paintings, actually.” He admits with a tinge of shyness coloring his cheek, while his fingers expertly create waves in your shared painting. 

“You are amazing with this. I really think you are very talented, Tae. I mean, look at this!” You complained while pointing at your horrendous supposed-to-be dolphin emerging out of water, compared to his beautifully painted one. “Mine looks like a rotten carrot coming out of a wave and yours are literally exotic dolphins found in the Baltics. God, you are making my pride to shame.”

Taehyung wholeheartedly laughs at your silly comparison. “No! Yours look great too for a newbie, sweetie. No artist is built on the first paint, right?”

“So you do think my dolphin is ugly!” You menacingly elbow him in the waist he had to chuckle.

“I’m just taking the word from your own mouth!” He giggles and you sigh exasperatedly, looking at your deranged dolphin slash carrot. “And I told you, baby. You need to use the smaller brush for detailed paintings.”

“I swear I’ll do better in the night sky painting.” You mutter in heavy, unnecessary determination, moving to grab a grape from the bowl of fruit and consume them. “This is amazing. Do you want some?” Taehyung hums, still in deep concentration to salvage the painting you might or might not have ruined, probably due to your lackluster sense of art. 

“You know, Tae, I never thought you’d go this far for this date.” You silently address, unable to hold back the impressed expression painted in your face. “My expectation was just a nice lunch and dinner, or even a movie. I never would’ve guessed you’d go through my dream date and actually execute it. I mean—I am very happy now but.. I am just.. I would be happy too with a dinner.”

“I’m just.. I don’t want to bother you, or burden you with my own—”

Listening to your words, Taehyung pauses working on his painting and is quick to hold your hand against his own. “Hey, hey.. I’m more than happy for this date. And it’s not a burden at all.” He whispers, playing with your fingers. “Can’t you see, Y/N? I am very happy. I am happier than I’ve been recently. You know I’m happier with you, always.”

You stare at him, tears are lounging in the corner of your eyes and he continues. “Yes—I know the night would have been perfect if you did not punch me when we were in the cooking class,” You chuckle against the tears. “but that’s okay too. Cause now I get to know you better. So don’t cry, hmm?”

Taehyung takes your hand and kisses the back of your palm. “Don’t cry. I hate seeing you cry, you know it.”

“It’s a cry of happiness.”

Taehyung smiles, moving his thumbs to swipe the remnants of tears on both sides of your cheek. “That is great, but I would prefer a smile or laughter in happiness. Since I want to smile and laugh along with you.”

“You know you are such a ball of cheese today, huh?” You say with amusement and he shrugs with a wink, proceeding to continue the painting.

Another ten minutes and he is finally putting the last touch on his painting. Taehyung squeal in glee, shifting the stands for you to get a better look. “It’s done! It’s finally done.” 

“It’s beautiful.” You whisper, looking at the wonderful painting of orange sunset on the sea with dolphins jumping, beautifully painted. But you do realize that some of the mistakes and terribly drawn details you made has not been fixed—especially the dolphin one. “Hey, why did not you fix this carrot? It could’ve been perfect.”

Taehyung shakes his head, looking up to the painting in a longing smile. “Nah. It doesn’t have to be perfect. As long as it’s both you and I together who paints it, it’s already the best painting for me.”

You intensely gaze to him and he replies with the same, indecipherable emotion. He continues. “I’m sorry. I know this day has been too much, but I am glad—”

Looking at those beautiful large eyes of his, letting go of the sanity and following what your heart really wants to do is as easy as blinking an eye. You swiftly cut him with your mouth pressed against him vivaciously, longing to taste his lips again. And not even a second wasted, Taehyung eagerly responds to the kiss, motioning your leg to move and sit on his lap. His luscious lips never taste better, as you run your fingers through his silk hairs, your body pressed to him without even a distance. His tongue is swift in lapping your lips for entrance, and you comply with vivid excitement. 

“Baby.. You taste wonderful.” He moans beautifully—exactly music in your ears. Another minute drunk on each other’s taste, you release him with reddening cheeks, grateful to finally take a breath you’ve been longing a long time now. You rest your forehead on his, breathing each other scent in. Your heartbeat is now too fast to be true, with his eyes peering to you affectionately, and you just knew. You had to say it—now or never.

Taehyung tucks a strand of hair on your face behind your ear, noticing the conflict in your face. Are you regretting the kiss? “Baby, what’s wrong? You seem—”

“Taehyung, I like you.”

Hearing your word, Taehyung gazes at you with a wide smile—but you know he is certainly missing your point. “I like you too, Y/N. You know it.”

“No—I like you more than that.” You whisper in a rush, since you really need to say this or you’ll stop and regret it forever. “I like you too much, and I like you not in that friendly way—it’s more than that. I can even say I love you. I love the way you do everything, Taehyung. I love how you take care of me, I love how you love yourself, I love how selfless and passionate you are about everything, I love how polite and kind you are, I love everything about you.”

You love him. You love Taehyung—there’s no denying it. All of what you said is true—you did not even plan a word to say, and you most absolutely did not plan to confess and put everything on the line tonight, or even ever. But you know it had to be done. The feelings you have for him are too overwhelming, and it kills you nearly everyday to have him close everyday but has to hold your feelings back. You know by logic it doesn’t make any sense, Taehyung said he will never tie himself in a relationship, but your heart tells you that you might be an exception. Or you wish you are his exception.

Every second that passes with silence kills you, as you can see by second it is indeed a huge mistake to let your feelings out to him. Taehyung is terrified—you can clearly see it in his eyes. Your heart leaps in your chest, the echo is too much on your ear. You feel nauseous, the first time you ever let yourself follow your heart and confess it goes berserk. 

“Y/N, I like you too. But please tell me you are not looking for anything serious with me.” 

The pain is too evident you can hardly breathe. This is as clear and as painful as any rejection can be.

This is it, this is your chance. Just say yes, say that you are saying that because you appreciate the kindness he does and joke about how self-centered he is to think that you are seriously looking for something serious with a fuckboy.

You clear your throat, even with the dizziness embraces your head. No, you are not backing down again and be the same coward who is too scared of rejection. “No. I am looking for something serious. I like you, Tae. I want.. I want to have a serious relationship. With you.”

Taehyung instinctively groans, and you can feel a strong knock on your guts when a lucid disgust is formed on his face at the mention of a serious relationship. You cringe.

“Y/N, you know I don’t do relationships. Why would you expect that with me? I told you that before, I am not and will never want a relationship.”

Like the words are not harsh enough to you, he immediately takes a step back to put a safe distance between the both of you like you are a disease. The tears are already falling down your cheek. You feel like an idiot, you feel humiliated, you feel fooled, and frankly you are disgusted at yourself and him. You are not special. You are thinking too far. Who are you to think that he likes you? Who are you to think you can change his mind about relationships? 

But your heart tells you that something is indeed not right. Everything he does to you—you know you are not hallucinating about it. Taehyung likes you, like what you expect him to be.

You look at him menacingly, the sadness turns into anger risen inside your chest. You are frustrated at his evident denial. “Why are you so afraid of letting me in, Taehyung? Why don’t you give us a chance? I know you, Taehyung—I know you are scared about the feelings we have for each other. But it doesn’t have to be that way. We can do this together—just give us a chance.”

Taehyung looks at you passively. “I. don’t. do. relationships. How many times should I tell it for you to understand, Y/N? I told you that a thousand times, I made it clear. How can you not get it?!”

“How can I not get it? It’s funny because what you said and what you did is 180 degrees different!” You stared at him in resentment and anger. “You told me you don’t want a relationship, but you kissed me, you held me, said you liked me, care about me in this whole damn world, act like a boyfriend to me even when my parents are not around, told me to not meet Hoseok, abandon your one night stand for me, slept beside me and took care of me, you put your phone wallpaper of my photo—what am I supposed to get, Taehyung?! That I am just your platonic best friend?!”

Your burst of rage immediately silenced him, but you are not done. You had enough of the emotional torture he put you in. “I told you. I told you to make it clear. If we are just a platonic best friend, you need to stop confusing me. And now you do all these dream dates shit, and not expect me to like you even more? Why are you playing with my heart just because you can’t figure your own?!”

“Y/N…” Seeing your broken attempts, Taehyung instinctively reaches out to you, but you quickly withdraw your hand away from him in repugnance. His heart fell at your clear avoidance.

You wipe your tears to the back of your sleeve, not wanting to waste another of your precious tears for another fuckboy who cannot even appreciate you and what you both had. “I am done with this, Taehyung. I am better off without you. I know you got an issue yourself, I am sorry, but I can not be the one to sacrifice my sanity because you just cannot solve it yourself.”

You stand up, and fortunately the ache in your ankle is getting much much better—or probably hidden by the booming pain in your chest. “I am getting a taxi.”

He instantly stands up, trying to stop your movement. “Y/N, you are hurt, let me at least take you home..” Taehyung whispers and offers his hand, but you menacingly laugh at him while picking up your belongings.

“I don’t need your pity ride.” You spit, eyes harsh. “Why would I spend another two hours sitting in a car with you again? You think I’m crazy? You should be thankful, now you can go on with your life the way it used to be. You’re happy, right? Go on with your one-night-stands again, Tae. Go back to your hollow life with those girls you’ll fuck and never call back. You prefer that, right?”

Taehyung is still silenced at your disquieting words, and you force a smirk even though inside you are completely numb. Like a mantra, you keep repeating how it’s better this way. It’s better to close all possibilities that you will ever be with him. So then your foolish heart can finally learn—you were thinking so highly of yourself. There is no use in wishing you can actually change someone, it will never happen. 

You are crying till your tears run out, clenching on your chest. Is love supposed to hurt like this?

*

Taehyung wakes up with looming pain on his head, staring up at the Metallica poster on the ceiling. And how weird can it be that he instantly is reminded of the moment he first woke up next to you that morning in your apartment, the first time he broke two of his Platinum Rules for such a fierce, sassy girl that immediately set him straight and comfortably joked with him. He could never forget every detail, every joke, everything about you that night till morning.

It’s been exactly three months since the night of your first date together, which was also the night you confessed that you liked him and wanted to have a committed relationship with him, but he threw you away without any second thoughts just because he was scared. And since then, you can’t even understand how much he regrets everything that happened between the two of you, treating you like what you both had does not matter all because he was—or maybe still is a coward.

And he is too ashamed to admit that he had taken it too hard that first few weeks since that night, he literally cried every night. He felt alone, he felt miserable, he felt like an idiot, and frankly, he missed you so much. Not a day went by without him punishing himself for throwing away something that matters the most, something so beautiful only because he cannot trust himself and becoming too comfortable with the unfair relationship you both had. 

And Taehyung tried calling you, but as expected you had his number blocked. Because he is a coward, he still doesn’t have the courage to meet you in person and tell you what happened, because literally he can’t see anything good will happen out of that. You could still be miserable, and he’d kill himself if you are struggling because of him. You could be happy, and he’d be happy too at first , but then the loneliness of seeing you well and happy with out him would keep him awake at night and drive him crazy. So he held back, changed his numbers and swore he won’t disturb you again.

“Man, you’re okay?”

Taehyung turns to find Jimin seated on Jungkook’s single bed, looking up to him in evident worry. “Why are you here—where’s Jungkook? And what do you mean okay?”

Jimin clears his throat, a bit uncomfortable to address the elephant in the room. “Jungkook is leaving for a date with his girlfriend. Nothing, it’s just—you’ve been sleeping since 2pm yesterday, and you just woke up now, and it’s already 10am. You nearly sleep for a full day. Is everything okay?”

Taehyung sighs, moving to sit up and feel the blood rushing uncomfortably in his head. He carefully massages his temples. “Have been better, but I’m fine. A bit bothered by the jackass partying downstairs last night too, but all good.” 

Jimin hums. “So are you seeing your psychiatrist today?” He asks, offering a bottle of water which Taehyung receives and mutters his thanks. Ever since literally having a mental breakdown two weeks after that first date, Jimin asks Taehyung to go back to seeing his psychiatrist. Even though they were on a college break, it was still unhealthy for him to mop around his apartment and spend night and day drinking alcohol and crying while looking at his painting; especially the sunset on sea one. Jimin did not really know why it was the one he spent most of time staring at—especially with the clear lower quality of the painting, but he did not ask. Taehyung must have his personal reasons.

At first, Taehyung hates the idea of going back to have a session, but Jimin introduces him to an acquaintance who was one of the best psychiatrists in Korea. After much persuasion and realizing how miserable he felt and had been for the past few weeks, he agreed for a session. It turned out better than expected, and it somehow builds something within him—a motivation to be better. He wants to be a better person, to finally breathe without having to hurt, to be able to trust himself again. After two and a half months spent in intense treatment with his psychiatrist, he finally got much better since before.

Ten minutes spent in silence, before Jimin carefully opens a conversation again. “Taehyung, you can meet her, you know. You are getting better, and I think it’s good that you are, but you know you need to see her again.”

Taehyung sighs in complete distress, lowering his head. “I know. I want to, more than anything. I want to meet her again, to tell her everything that happened, but there’s no use for that anymore, Jimin. She did not want to see me again, she made it very clear. She also met someone else, someone better. She deserves it, to be happy. I don’t want to burden her with me again.”

And more reason why he really thinks every possibility is closed on seeing you again is due to the fact that you have met someone new. He heard it from lots of people—and even Jimin, that you have a new boyfriend with the name of Doojoon, a humble boy that works in a bookstore near Han River. He is said to be very kind and polite, and Taehyung did not really want to hear any further explanation. He did not realize that it would hurt this much to see you find someone else. He was trying to be happy for it—your happiness matters the most, he understands it better than anyone, but he is still heartbroken. 

He loves you, but it is not enough to let you go.

“I know. But just consider it—hmm? It doesn’t have to be that grand proporsal you do to get back together. Just ask how she’s doing and everything. She is someone special, Tae. You know it.” 

Taehyung hates how right Jimin is, since he is also advised by his psychiatrist to try solving the things with you as it will haunt him as unfinished until he finally finishes it—but he can’t. He is a coward. He knows he'll be unable to see you right in the eye and not grovel at your feet, beg you to come back, tell you that he is sorry and tell you about everything he wished was different. He still loves you, not even a day goes by without thinking about you and even though he is getting better in a mental sense, the fact that he might never feel what you both had with each other again still wounds him everyday.

Jimin taps his knees and stands up. “You got a lot to think about, buddy. It’s jus a suggestion, don’t think about it too much. Gonna leave you alone for this one. Good luck, okay? Tell me if you need anything.”

Taehyung thinly smiles, softly tapping his best friend’s thigh as an appreciation. “Thanks, Jimin. I owe you a lot.”

“I know. Then stop worrying me and just go meet her, okay?”

Jimin finally leaves the scene, but Taehyung is still too deep in his own thoughts that he nearly misses the loud ring of his phone. He mindlessly answers without looking at the caller. At the sudden caller’s panicked words, his eyes widens, heart skips a beat due to the great shock. Running to grab his shirt, it doesn’t even take a second for him to shout before clicking it off.

“What?! Okay, I am on my way.”

*

Taehyung runs in the hallway of the hospital like a crazy person, that a nurse had to stop him on his track. “Someone I know is in emergency, nurse. Where can I find her?!”

The nurse immediately senses the rush in his tone and leads him to the nurse behind the front desk. “Sir, how can I help you?”

“Nurse, please tell me where the child is in? She had a seizure, and she’s just in. Yoon Yuna. Please tell me where she is!”

“Sir, may I know your relation to the patient?”

Taehyung is too panicked to even comprehend. “I am her guardian. Please let me meet her.”

After a few other protocols, the nurse quickly leads him to the children's side in hospital, and in which he can see Mina crying outside a door. Taehyung quickly runs, and touches her by the arm. “Hey, what happened to Yuna..”

Mina is still crying hard, as she stumbles on the words she is about to say. “I-i don’t know. She was okay yesterday, but last night she got a really high fever and this morning she had a seizure. I was so scared, I don’t know what to do so I run her to the hospital, but her father is still on the way. He said he’ll be able to arrive by tomorrow, and I don’t know who to call beside you, Taehyung. I’m sorry if I bother you.”

Taehyung moves to rest her arm around her shoulder, pulling him close. He knew how hard it must be for her to go through the experience alone—he doesn’t want her to be miserable. “It’s okay. I’m glad you called. And no worry, I know she’ll be okay. She is a strong girl, she’ll be healthy in no time.”

Mina nods in his arm, still in tears. Taehyung heaves a breath, shutting his eyes, sincerely begging for Yuna’s recovery as fast as possible. Just imagining such a lively and vivacious girl to be sick has already torn his heart. He misses her so much, and he is not even sure he can face her being sick without crying.

Another half an hour spent in silence, suddenly the doctor comes out of Yuna’s room. Both Taehyung and Mina quickly rush to her side. “Doctor, how is Yuna? Is she okay?”

The doctor smiles in reassurance. “She’s fine. You have given her a correct first aid. She just needs to sleep for a few hours, stay for one or two nights for monitoring, and she’ll be good as usual. Let’s leave her alone for now, okay?”

Both Taehyung and Mina sigh in relief, deeply bow to the doctor. After she leaves, they can finally breathe. “Oh God, I was so scared.” Mina sighs, palm resting on her chest. “I really thought—”

Taehyung quickly taps her on the shoulder, stopping her worried words. “It’s okay, don’t dwell on that. What’s important is that she is okay now, just needs some rest.”

Mina nods with a thin, tired smile and Taehyung can totally relate to what she feels. Hearing Yuna is having a seizure could be the last thing he would ever want to hear, and he drove as fast as he could. After hearing she is fine, Taehyung could feel the heavy weight on his shoulder was lifted as well.

Suddenly among the nearly awkward silence, a sound of grumble is heard collectively, the source of sound coming from both your stomachs. It fortunately crashes the tense between the two of you, both laughing silently. “I am so hungry. Do you want to grab a meal in the lobby?”

Taehyung shakes his head, and stands up. “It’s okay, you should watch Yuna. I am going to bring you food, wait here.”

“No, we can’t eat here. Look.” She points at the clear sign.  “We can eat for fifteen minutes, I think it should be fine as we cannot enter the room as well. Let’s grab some food, I want to go to the restroom after that too.”

So that’s how both Taehyung and Mina are walking down to the hospital cafeteria, with the lingering awkwardness. He safely secures his hand on his pocket, looking at all the hospital posters stuck on the wall, trying not to drown in the tense air right before she opens a conversation.

“How are you?” Mina asks with a sincere smile. “Is anything good happening? You strangely look better than I saw you before. Tell me.”

Taehyung answers, after clearing his throat. Is it obvious? “Not really, no. But I finally got the help I need I guess? I think got better.. mentally. Something happened, and it… it might or might not made me realize I was getting worse..? If that’s possible.” 

Even with only a vague question, Mina still manages to open him up after all these times. It’s nearly magical how she is able to do it—even Jimin, his psychiatrist and his other friends are having a hard time to get him to confess what’s bothering his mind. “I just.. I met someone. I thought seeing this someone made me feel better—and I really did—but something was... not right? Because I guess I was becoming too dependent on her for my happiness—it was unhealthy. For me and for her.”

Mina nods, gesturing Taehyung to continue. “I like this girl. I don’t know—I might even love her. You know me, Mina. I wasn’t the greatest person, I could even be the worst. I don’t believe in relationships, I even spit on them. All because I am traumatized, because I believed I would never have someone who truly loves me. I thought it was nonsense—like it was only a far dream.” Taehyung whispers, eyes empty to nothingness.

“And then I met her, I felt like something changed. This girl must be different, and I… I saw so much of me in her. She’s not perfect, she is scarred, and she made me want to protect and care for her, like I want to do anything to make her happy, and that made me happy too. I like her and it’s too obvious even anyone can see, but I was unfair to her. I treat her like a lover, but I refused to put a label on it, while she was looking for something real.”

“And when she confessed her feelings… I let her go. Exactly three months ago.” Taehyung whispers weakly, the hurt is becoming too real to absorb. “Idiot me, I let her go. It was hard, but now I know it’s for the best. I am not ready for her, I couldn’t let her deal with this broken piece of me. And now she is now moving on to someone better. Good for her.”

Mina looks at him in surprise. “Wow.”

Taehyung smiles, rubbing the bridge of his nose to quickly wipe the tears. No, he doesn’t want to cry—but now with Mina here, everything is too much, like everything is coming back at him weighs like a ton of brick to his consciousness. 

“I am very proud of you.” Mina whispers, eyes glistening with tears. “You have been very, very brave about this. You know nothing good coming out of rushing things, Taehyung. She might be ready at that time, but you clearly understand you still were not. And to be brave enough to get that help and work hard to finally be better.. It’s just—so, so so amazing.”

Both of them finally arrived at the cafeteria. “And I don’t think you should regret a thing. You could’ve been with her, forcing yourself in something you did not even understand and ruined a once in a lifetime bond with her just because you were not ready. What I mean is—everything will rightfully fall to its own place, at the right time. You know? There’s no rush. If she meant to be, she’ll be.” Mina smiles encouragingly, patting him in the back.

“Have you talked to her again? After that last time?”

Taehyung forlornly shakes his head. “I know there’s a lot of opportunity… but I am too scared to face her again. I am afraid I would mess all of it again, you know? It’s like, one last chance I have with her, and I really want to make it right. But I’m not sure if I’m ready.”

Mina nods in understanding, offering him a bottle of drink taken from the fridge. “Well, I most definitely cannot answer that. The answer is only for you to know.”

“And how can I know? These things inside my head keep on thinking what if I mess everything up. I.. I can’t stop it.” He sighs exasperatedly, desperately looking to Mina for an answer he knows she can’t give. Mina winks at him teasingly, munching happily on a bread on her grasp.

“Well, maybe you should start thinking about what if you do everything right. Then you’d know.”

*

It was Saturday, exactly 6pm and you are already lounging in your bed, face painted with exhaustion. You did nothing remotely important today, but you don’t exactly know why you are drained to the max. It could probably be the fact that your mother is already telling you to finally get out of the house after the longest time, and your friends are blowing up your phone asking to meet them for a party but you refuse and insist on staying home. The last time you went to a party was being trashed at that frat party three months ago, exactly at that time you broke every kind of relation with Taehyung.

You sigh when realizing that your mind really has nothing better to think other than Taehyung, how long it has been since the last time you saw him, and how much you have been missing him. The whole three months is a train of torture, a period in which you do all everything in your power to avoid thinking about him too much and eventually calling him. And after a month you actually did, one drunken night you were staying with Seungyeon and called him, but it was unable to be connected. High possibility he already blocked you, but who are you to judge? If you were him you’d do that in a heartbeat too.

“This man is horrible.” You groan in disgust while watching terrible american reality TV, 90 Days Fiance. After the whole three months, you have been focusing on watching trashy movies and reality shows, only to busy yourself with the fact that you are avoiding your real issue that your right mind has been telling you the nth time now.

Everyone said that for a million times, that you are doing the right thing for standing up to Taehyung. That he doesn’t deserve you. That the pain too shall pass. But how long will it take to prove them right? Because you have been waiting for three months, and by days you felt more and more miserable. Frankly, you miss him. You miss Kim Taehyung. You miss talking to him again, you miss seeing his face, you miss hearing his voice, you miss sitting in Han River with him again. And even though knowing what you did that evening was the right thing to do, why can’t your heart try to understand and just let it go? Why do you have to like him too much like a fool?

The idiot pairs on your screen are fighting, but you decide to turn them off as it is too disturbing to your distracted mind. You move to lay on your bed, staring at the ceiling in silence in deep sigh.

Is he okay? Is he doing well?

Does he feel miserable? Does he feel the way you do?

Does he miss you like you miss him?

All these questions somehow, even after three months are still able to tear you up like it’s just yesterday. You hate this suffocating feeling in your chest that you are unable to let go. It is always there, since the moment you left three months ago, and never left ever since.

You know he loved you, but he was just not ready.

The tears fall one by one after the statement runs through your head. Yes, it is true. You knew Taehyung needed sometimes to fix himself, but you were shoving your feelings like it was the only thing that mattered. How selfish could you be, when all he did was take care of you, even better than he took care of himself? You are a fool to let him go, just like that.

Suddenly, a knock on your door is heard. You agonizingly and swiftly sweep the tears away at the back sleeve of your sweater—and it turns out to be your father behind the door. “Y/N, someone is at the door, sending this package. He said you need to open it and meet him after, so come down okay?”

You hum, opening the crack of your door, careful not to let him know you have been crying or there will be follow up interrogation. “Do you know who it is, pa?” 

He shrugs. “No, but he looks nice. Got a nice car too.”

You roll your eyes, pulling to receive the package. It is a rectangle, large package with blue wrapping and silver ribbon. Your eyebrows raised in uncertainty, your fingers carefully scrap it open to see what’s inside.

It’s a blank canvas, and the exact same canvas. Your heartbeat immediately fastens, as your fingers run through the smooth expanse of the surface, with a letter stuck on top of it. You are swift to open the letter with overwhelming nerves —the reminder that someone is waiting for you outside is not helping as well.

I know I am three months late, but can we finish this piece?

And I miss you.

With love, Kim Taehyung.

Not even a hint of hesitation and care, you run out of the room to your porch, looking at a red car parked in front of your house. It’s Jimin. It’s really Jimin.

“Hey. You ready?” Jimin asks with a wide smile. You nod.

You never felt more ready in your life.

Fifteen minutes spent in silence, and you are familiar with the road you are driving on. It’s Han River, exactly a place you meet Taehyung again that night. And when you can detect his car parked in his usual spot, your breath immediately hastens. It is really him. You are about to talk to someone you miss so much, spending too many time thinking about—he is literally just a distance away.

When the car finally comes to a stop, Jimin gives you a comforting smile. “Good luck.”

You nod, reciprocate his smile. “Thanks.”

Walking out, you can slowly make out the silhouette of Taehyung, sitting on the bench, looking out to the sky. You take a deep breath, braving yourself. Here he is. Just go for it. And please don’t cry—You warn yourself, trying to muster your most sincere smile and hope it will not crack, no matter how much you long to just by seeing him again for the first time in three months and tell him how hard it has been for him. You hold the blank canvas in your grasp, hesitantly walking to him.

“Hi.” You breathe, and Taehyung immediately shoots his gaze to you, the familiar boxy smile formed on his lips.

“Hi. Please sit down.”

By the time you are seated behind him, you are certain it is not long until you will cry. You don’t know what to say to him, since all you wanted to do is to hug him and never let go. You want to let him know that being far from him one of the hardest thing you ever endured, and you miss him terribly that it stings inside your heart. Yet nothing comes out, because you are a coward. 

“S-should we paint?” He asks in a rush, taking the brush out of the same duffle bag you identify from months ago. “I know it’s not really close to the sky on the beach the last time, but this is good too. I just don’t want you too far from your home and—”

“Are you afraid that I will run away like I did last time and had to take a taxi, two hours just to head back?” You ask in an indecipherable emotion painted across your face. Taehyung looks up, nerve painted on his face. Is he making the wrong choice to invite you now? Are you still furious at him? Only if he knew.

“Don’t worry. That won’t happen again, Tae.”

Taehyung let out the breath he has been holding. “You scared me.”

“I don’t know why you would care so much about me.” You bit your lips, holding the tears back, not wanting to let him see how fragile you are right now. “I would hate me if I were you..”

You know Taehyung intended to hug you, but he braced himself and settled on a pat on your head instead. Sensing his hesitation, it feels like a knock to your gut. It is as clear as a day he is limiting himself with you now. “Hey, don’t say it like that. You know I would never hate you. It’s beyond my power, I think.”

“Should we start painting?” He asks with a comforting smile after noting your deep silence, and you nod hesitantly, unsure how to keep on pretending everything is alright when all you want to do is to cry on his arm. “I know the lighting is not really good here, so I actually bring a portable lamp. Hope this helps.”

He turns on a lamp hanging on in front of your head. The lamp was adequate to let you see the blank canvas on the canvas stand, along with the blue paint he prepared. He offers you one brush, and that’s how you spend the next ten minute, in silence doing the bare minimum as it is mostly him doing all the painting. 

“How have you been? This past three months, I mean.” Taehyung suddenly asks, breaking the uncomfortable tense so thick he can cut it and shove it down his throat and hopefully choke on it forever. “Are you doing fine?”

That questions leaves you in agonizing contemplation. What should you say? Can you drop it on him? Tell him that you are miserable, and hurt, and you miss him so bad you lock yourself in your home most of the times you are free, looking at the ceiling or checking on the photo you took of him or with him? Tell him that you have been mostly regretting the times you force your feelings to him? Another humiliation is not really what you want to have right now. 

“I’m fine, I think.” is all you are muster to say. What a fucking liar, you curse yourself in distress. You want to answer as honest as possible, but how can you answer the truth without crying? And the last time you tell him what you exactly felt, both of you broke up without even any relationship to begin with. Is it so wrong of you to think you might ruin everything? “What about you? The past three month?”

“I’m getting better.” He steals a glance at you, before resuming to pain the calming river on his canvas. “After that night, I was not really in a good place, actually. I was miserable, I felt alone, and yup. I lock myself inside my apartments the first two weeks, drinking days and nights until Jimin asks me to visit a psychiatrist. I was offended and hesitant at first, even deep within I know I need it. A help.”

You stare at his side face, still proceed in painting. You can’t believe how composed he can be. “Before, I’m not really the type to be that positive, but then I felt strangely motivated. Is that weird?” He asks shyly, scratching his nape. You instantly respond by shaking your head. “It was like… For the first time, I kind of have this hope? That I want myself to be better. And I got better too. Much, much better. I even contacted and talked to my mom and dad again, probably after such a long time now. They were surprised to say the least.”

You smile at him, eyes glistening with tears. “That’s amazing news, Taehyung. I am very, very happy for you. And proud too.”

Taehyung rests his brush on the stand and stares at you that nearly makes you lose your breath. “I know you are wondering why I ask you to come here. And even though I just want to see you again, it's mostly to say what I am three months too late to say.”

“I know I’m not the best person, Y/N. I could be the worst person to date. I was a fuckboy that took lightly of people’s feelings, and I only cared about my own. I even had these silly rules about dealing with girls, it’s called the platinum rules and.. and I just realize this was sort of my defense? The defense I had to protect myself from truly liking someone.”

“And regardless of being a trash rule that just made me the worst person to ever exist, it also took me to you. It made me realize you are not just anyone—you are not just a number, just a one night stand. You are more than that, and you proved it in just a day. You show me all these qualities I never thought you would have, and you made me comfortable. Too comfortable, I think. It was something I hoped to never change, but it was selfish of me.”

“In a way, I see myself in you, Y/N. Like you make me want to take care of you, always. And then days go by and I felt like I was too attached with you, but still intact with the fear that I have about relationships. I ignore that important issue about my trauma, as what we have has made me too happy and I believed the illusion I was doing alright. But I wasn’t.”

You don’t even realize you have been holding your breath for too long now. “Taehyung…”

“Even though I wish some things might be different, I had to thank you and whatever happened that night. Even with the pain intact, you made me realize that I needed help. I couldn’t throw my insecurities and trauma on you, Y/N. I could’ve ruined everything we had. I can finally, finally think of the silver lining out of you slapping the truth on my face.” He chuckles nervously while scratching his nape, and you are unable to take your eyes off him. How can he be this calm, telling the most important turmoil happening in his life?

“And I’m happy you are happy right now. You can’t believe how… how happy I was to find that you moved on and… and—ah. No, I’m just happy for you.” 

There is something he is hiding about, and your eyebrows raise in concern. “Happy for me because of what?”

“What’s the use of it now, Y/N?” He asks weakly, his lips forming to a thin straight line. He practiced this a million times, but how is he still unable to fake it? He ruffles his hair in frustration for himself. “There’s no use in that, Y/N. I love it that you are happy. That’s all.”

“That’s clearly not all, Taehyung. What do you take me for? I know we haven’t been speaking in the past three months, but I still know you. Tell me.” You persuade in visible concern, scooting closer to look him right in his eyes, successfully making it harder for him to think straight.

“Y/N, I don’t want to say it. Please. Nothing will change, and I don’t want it to. I promised not to.”

You stare at him, nearly begging. “Please. Please let me know.”

He huffs, realizing you are too persistent to even comply with his request of letting it go. And who is he to say no? “Okay. But please don’t hate me after this—I… I don’t want what happened to us in the past three months to happen again.” You instinctively nod, as you yourself w will anything in your power to never let it happen again.

“I know these words are three months too late, but I like you, Y/N. I like you. And not in that friendly way—it’s more than that—I can even say I love you. I love the way you do everything, Y/N. I love how you take care of me, I love how you love yourself, I love how selfless and passionate you are about everything, I love how polite and kind you are, I love everything about you.” It is indeed something you have been longing to hear, but you do notice something settles strangely inside your mind. You gaze up to him in questions, as those words are strangely familiar—you’d know as you have been repeating it over and over in the past three months inside your head. 

“I know you might remember—but it’s exactly what you said to me three months ago. It dawns on me, Y/N. I like all your qualities like you like mine. We are truly alike, in a totally different way. It should have been easy to understand my feelings for you.” His voice are too weak now, nothing beyond this is the words he prepared beforehand. He just goes with what his heart tells him to say.

“I am not regretting those three months. But if I may answer it again now, I want to say I love you. I really do. I don’t know why or when or how—it could be all of the moments we spent together. I love you for everything you are and are not. I love you without further thoughts. You made it so easy to love you, I am in the dark as well.”

He was beet red, and you are still unable to decipher. Sensing your evident shock, Taehyung sighs in distress and panic. He is definitely ruining all this for you. God, he really wasn’t going to scare you away. “I wasn’t going to say this, Y/N. I know you found someone else—”

“What? Found someone else? Who?” You ask in deep confusion. A boyfriend? What? It’s such a bizarre experience to be told you are dating someone else from the one person you like so much, right after he confessed.

Taehyung is now severely confused, eyes scrunched dubiously. “I.. I heard it. From people, and even Jimin. Doojoon? The boy from the bookstore. I was told you are dating him.”

Then it dawns on you, and you literally had to laugh at that one. The change of your expressions successfully makes Taehyung feel like a moron. “Doojoon? Ha—I’ll never get used to that name.”

You smile at him warmly, softly taking his palm closely to yours with the unbelievable burst of happiness inside your chest. Taehyung likes you. He seriously loves you, and confesses to you like what you expect him to. Is this even real?

You take a breathe, a warm smile formed on your lips. “Doojoon is not my boyfriend. He is actually... Jisung.”

“Jisung?!” Taehyung is already shouting, but you quickly shush him. 

“Yes. Actually a few months ago, Jisung called me and asked me to meet him—no worry, we are not heading back to that neighborhood. We are meeting in a cafe near my house. I was scared at first, but then he explained everything. His sister got sick pretty severely, and his parents asked him to come back home. They reconciled, and he ran away from his gang. Fortunately his gang never knew about the identity of his parents, but to avoid any attention he decided to change his name when meeting new people. He actually apologized to me that time for what he has done to me before. He even wanted to pay me back—but I just think it was not necessary. I prefer all the money to go to his family first.”

Your forefingers traces on his large palms, not looking straight to his eyes. “After that we got around pretty often. He told me about his family, his sisters, yup. And I met a few friends when I was meeting him, and since I was already populat as ‘Taehyung’s ex-girlfriend’ at that time, the fake news must have spread.”

Taehyung listens to you attentively, but as word goes by he is unable to bite back the toothy smile blooming on his lips. God, he never knew anything could make him happy as what you just said. “You know what? I will go and kick Jimin’s ass for telling me such fake news. He doesn’t even validate—how dare. You know it has been making me crazy for the longest time, and—”

“Crazy? Why?” You teasingly ask, and Taehyung immediately pulls you close by the arm. He rests his forehead on yours, breathing your scent. God, you can’t even imagine how much he misses this. Just to be with you, holding you close.

“You know why, you idiot. Do I need to say again? Heroically and cheesily?”

You nod. “Of course. And can you at least make it original? I think I’ll copyright my confession from now on.” You jokingly scoff, and Taehyung moves to kiss your cheek. Something literally burst inside his head—amusement, excitement, happiness to be able to finally hug you and kiss you again after holding for the longest time.

“What if I break it?” He asks with a mischievous smirk. You shrug, your fingers brushing his jaw that he need to follow every movement you made.

“I don’t know—I might have to kiss you.” You innocently smile as Taehyung giggles in amusement. Oh, how he misses talking and flirting with you again like this.

“You know what? I think I’ll say that every second of the day, girlfriend.”

You are unable to hold a loud laugh at the affectionate nickname. Who would’ve thought Taehyung would dare to say that ever? 

“Wow. You really know how to set the mood right.” You mutters, arms secured around his neck.

Taehyung finally moves to enclose his lips on yours, starting the kiss slow but still as pleasant and wonderful as ever. He knows he has all night and further on to have you close, but one thing is on his mind that he is too desperate to say to you now. “Hey, I know I can’t promise anything much, that I’ll make you always happy or any other bogus I know I can’t keep, I’m still trying. But one thing I can promise you that I’ll try my best to keep everything we have now, and in the future. I love you, Y/N.” 

This bond you have, he knows how special it is. He doesn’t not know if he’ll find anyone else that makes him feel the way you do—and he never intends to. But he really needs you on board, to help him in anyway possible. To support him throughout every hurdles or conflicts. And apparently, it is indeed everything you want from him.

You hum, crashing your lips back to him and hum in clear delight. “Seriously, that’s all I want. I know relationships can be scary, Tae—with all your previous experience. I am scared too that I’ll hurt us—but I love you too much I’d risk everything. I promise you I’ll try my best to keep everything we have now and beyond.” You whisper as a promise, swiping your thumb against his apparent cheekbone.

Taehyung pecks your lips once again. “That’s wonderful. But can you repeat that I love you one? Because I don’t think I heard it enough—”

You giggle, continuing to feel him against your lips once more. It never felt so perfect to be with Taehyung as right now, and you wish this moment can last forever. You know it might be difficult, but you are eager to see and fight for what you have with him, and where the relationships both of you will lead to. All because you love him, and he loves you too.

“I love you too, boyfriend.”

*

“What the fuck? Is this how you’re paying me back for that night, Taehyung?!” Jungkook asks furiously in the restroom of the exact restaurant Taehyung first met you nearly half a year ago.

Taehyung snickers, looking at the panicked face of his best friend, Jungkook when he sees he is not the only one in the table. Jungkook should have guessed, though. Since when Taehyung ever wanted to eat in McDonalds alone with him? He thought Taehyung was just being nice, taking him for an all-boys hangouts after getting himself a new girlfriend.

Taehyung is wearing a nice blue navy button up shirt with sleeves rolled to his mid-arm and matching cotton dark grey cotton pants and a sleek pantofel. While he? Jungkook literally just came out of practice, still wearing his sweaty ass ‘legalize it’ shirt he mistakenly brought as a change shirt, ripped jeans that show more of his thighs than he is proud of, and old, discolored vans. Meanwhile out on the table, both of the girlfriends are wearing semi formal dresses. He literally look so disoriented among the formal looking folks that he is this close to leaving if his girlfriend is not holding him back.

“You are a fucking jerk!” Jungkook spit in detectable hatred, and Taehyung shrugs menacingly as an answer.

“We are just going to have a nice double date dinner together, bro. As couples.” Taehyung sarcastically smiles and Jungkook rolls his eyes. This older man is seriously a child in disguise, and it could be a miracle how you are willing to sacrifice your sanity and decide to date his annoying ass.

“I fucking hate you.”

“Yeah, yeah whatever. But we are taking too much time in the toilet for two men and people there gonna think we are fucking. Let’s go.” Taehyung mindlessly put an arm on Jungkook’s shoulder, walking back to the desk in which you and Jungkook’s girlfriend are chatting lively. Jungkook takes a deep breath, then launches an elbow kick square to Taehyung’s rib that throws him to coughing fit to get his arms off him.

“I swear when we are done, I’ll punch you in your fucking annoying handsome face.”

Taehyung launches a flirty wink along with a chuckle. “I don’t mind you hitting on me, but my girlfriend is just right here.”

Sensing Jungkook’s distress, his girlfriend immediately welcomes him. “Baby, don’t be mad. Taehyung is clearly joking, and it is funny.” She persuades, softly pecking his cheek and albeit begrudgingly, Jungkook is unable to resist his girlfriend’s persuasion and decide to comply. Only because his girlfriend asks so.

“But I’m not letting this go, Kim Taehyung. I’ll get my revenge.” Jungkook hisses with a menacing smirk, but Taehyung easily answers by flipping him off, before humming in delight to welcome the newly arrived food.

And that’s how you spend another two hours chatting and joking with each other, and enjoying the glare and obvious attention thrown at Jungkook’s face he had to duck his head lower every time. But Taehyung clearly has not had enough, since at the end of the dinner he quickly stands up and motions you to follow the gesture as well.

“Ah, Sir Jungkook. This has been a pleasant dinner. Thank you for the treat.” He salutes, walking out with you by his side as an escape, disregarding the fact that Jungkook literally shouts his curse in the middle of a busy restaurant behind you. Yes, Taehyung is that petty and of course he’ll do anything to make Jungkook pay for what he did.

“You know, I feel bad for Jungkook.” You giggle in amusement after sitting inside Cecil. “That date literally brought us together. We literally owe him a lot, you know.”

Taehyung smiles and winks at you. “That’s why after he’s pissed beyond words at me and ready to punch me after being thrown out of this restaurant, he’ll come back to the dorm to find a new computer upgrade device he has been going on and on and on recently. It’s a foolproof plan, right?”

You nod and giggle in appreciation at his thoughtful plan, shifting your dress while waiting for the car to drive off but it is somehow taking too long. You look up to him, instinctively smile at the gaze he is transfixing in you.

“I don’t say this much, but you are very beautiful and I’m thanking my lucky star to have you as my lover.” He mutters sincerely, his fingers enclosing in each space between yours. You swiftly move to kiss him softly, right palm secured on his shoulder. Albeit short and being done literally everyday, Taehyung is still unable to wrap his head around it, as it still sends flutters to him from head to toe.

“You know you say that everyday, but go off king.” You reply with a wink, and Taehyung pinches your cheek affectionately.

“Should we go now?” He asks in excitement, releasing the break on his car. You squeal in excitement, clapping your hand in the same manner.

“Japan, here we go!”

=============================

This literally is the longest fics I have ever written it’s literally 50k words / 100 pages in docs and oof- i really go off with this one lol and thank you, it has been a very pleasant ride! As you know, there might be a following drabble in Taehyung & y/n time in japan too, so if any of yall interested, please let me know!

I could’ve made this shorter but I do think its better to develop Taehyung’s character first before he settles in the relationship☺It was a story as well, I hope anyone can take something out of it as well lol

And do tell me what you think about this fics! I really love seeing how this story affects you all, I feel really encouraged :) THANK YOU and see yall soon!💕😘

[kitkatopinions]

Accidentally deleted my Tyrian and Watts asks while I was trying to fix a mistake so... Sorry about that, everyone! Here they are! Tyrian and Watts for the RWBY character asks!

Let’s do Tyrian first, because I have less to say about him, I feel like.

My top three ships for the character

Tyrian/Watts. Dysfunctional villainous romance of the century, no one knows how they’ve managed to make it to their tenth anniversary without killing each other, including them. Tyrian/Salem is my second top ship for him. Major Bellatrix/Voldy vibes with this one, but I could see it. Tyrian/Hazel is my third ship for lack of options. Does this one make sense? No. But I can at least see Tyrian being super flirty and Hazel being endlessly tired, but never really stopping it. (Also I hate Hazel so much lol.)

My three least favorite ships for the character

Tyrian/Qrow sucks for me. Like... I kinda feel like two people fighting each other just gets shippers, which is fine and totally understandable. But for me, Tyrian poisoning Qrow and almost killing him and calling his beloved niece a bitch and then killing Clover is a big no from me, dog. On that note! Tyrian/Clover is also one big no from me, since Clover murdered him. And Tyrian/Ozpin is another really big no from me. Tyrian and his crazy Salem worship can stay five hundred and fifty feet away from my son.

My biggest criticism for the character

They went a little too much on the crazy in the fourth and fifth season and it made him feel annoying. Like, I don’t mind the Bellatrix vibes, but I do mind the movie version Bellatrix vibes, sometimes. It just got kinda annoying. I wish his crazy was always more on the dangerous side and less on the kooky side, but that’s just personal opinions.

My favorite thing about the character

The way people are so uncomfortable around him. Whenever Tyrian talks to Emerald or Mercury, he’s honestly freaky. Like both me and the characters are waiting for him to snap. That’s a great quality in a villain that we’re meant to hate or love to hate. He has a real presence and it’s enjoyable.

A headcanon I have about them

Tyrian doesn’t often try to act normal, but he can, and he’s got a great ‘respectable, cool guy’ act that’s actually a little reminiscent of Qrow or Clover. He’s even passed himself as a Huntsman here and there.

What I would change about them if I was making a re-write

More involvement in volumes 4 and 5, and I’d treat him a bit more seriously and make him a bit more dangerous. Maybe I’d have him wound a member of Team RNJR in his attack as well as poison Qrow (maybe give Jaune a reason to unlock his semblance in season 4 and in response to the pain of a member of his team. Also, his ‘Tyrian purple’ color should be more than just the color of his eyes. Like, how come so many RWBY characters season 4 and onward have such boring colors? I’d give Tyrian some strong purple and pink.

What I I think of their character allusion and what (if anything) I would change about it

Tyrian alludes to the animal fable ‘the Scorpion and the Frog,’ and that’s... really in name only, I think. A part of me wants to give them some kind of points for having Qrow work with him against Clover, only for Tyrian to kill Clover, which lines up with his ‘its just my nature’ scorpion stinging the frog so that they’ll both drown and die. But they didn’t mean for Qrow to really be wrong! They didn’t mean for the lesson to be ‘Qrow shouldn’t have trusted the poisonous villain’ it was ‘wowza does Qrow’s semblance hurt him. :( Too bad Clover got himself killed.’ Which makes the whole allusion kind of suck.

Now for Watts, the single best villain in my opinion.

My top three ships for the character

Tyrian/Watts. See above. This ship would be a dysfunctional mess, but it’d be a wild ride. Watts/Villain!Ironwood. I kind of hate this ship when it’s ‘fallen hero turned villain’ Ironwood. But if he actually had been written as a secret villain or obviously headed that way from the start, I can see him and Watts also being a dysfunctional mess of a wild ride ship, only with way more ‘evil power couple’ vibes than Tyrian and Watts would have. Also my favorite version of this features Watts having been the one to build Penny (maybe by stealing the plans from Pietro) and him and Ironwood raising a still bright and cheerful, still innocent and trusting, villain Penny who will attack to kill with a smile on her face and a ‘it was nice meeting you!’ And this is very weird and niche but Watts/Evil Stepsister (specifically the one with the sharp bangs and highlights.) Someone sent me an ask saying the Evil Stepmother and stepsisters should’ve been connected to Salem and gotten Cinder involved and I totally agree with this. I then started envisioning a world where the step sisters competed with Cinder and all three of them were raised in Salem’s circle. In this version of things, I could totally picture one of the step sisters having a romantic tension driven connection with Watts and the two of them subtly flirting sometimes (and bonding over their mutual hatred of Cinder.) I picked the sister with bangs for no real reason except that I like her look more.

My three least favorite ships for the character

Watts/Cinder. Watts thinks of her like a bratty little girl, and Cinder kills him. Watts/Lionheart. Kinda really hate this one because of how clearly Lionheart was terrified of him. Just a bit uncomfortable for me to see that in a relationship. Watts/Hero!Ironwood or Watts/HeroTurnedVillain/Ironwood. Sorry, but Ironwood in canon got such a bad, bad portrayal in season 8 and the end of season 7, and I just can’t help but blame Watts for quite a bit of it. I only like them as a ship if Ironwood is an antagonist from the start.

My biggest criticism for the character

They shouldn’t have killed him! He was one of Salem’s best followers and one of the best villains and it was such a big mistake to kill literally one of the only actual loyal followers. It threw off any character development for Cinder and it was a big mistake. I really wanted the Cinder / Watts / Neo team up to keep going! I’m so disappointed it got thrown away.

My favorite thing about the character

Watts is an entitled, petty bastard, and I think that’s so good for a villain that isn’t meant to be social commentary (because tbh, RWBY never should’ve tried to be social commentary.) Watts isn’t sympathetic, he’s an Atlas born and raised guy in a three piece suit, he’s posh, he’s upset because he wasn’t given exactly what he wanted. Most of the villains in RWBY are either victims of abuse, systemic oppression, or poverty, and that’s... Not fun in a show that’s never handled social commentary well and is about magical girls destroying Voldemort/Satan with the power of friendship (Ruby literally never says anything about Faunus rights iirc.) Watts is refreshing because he’s exactly the type of villain that you can expect in a show like what RWBY should’ve been, and he flourishes as that. Why would we be sympathetic to Watts when he’s just doing this all because he wasn’t picked first for his tech? Why would we feel soured towards conflicts with Watts and Team RWBY? He’s just a petty bastard being evil because he was snubbed. Why would we be frustrated that incredibly significant problems are being shoved to the side with Watts? He’s a fun villain, he’s not meant to be more, he’s not meant to make you emotionally invested only to then be gutted for it. You can hate to love him without it feeling bad. Maybe that’s why he’s just my favorite non-kid villain (other than Roman.)

A headcanon I have about them

Watts has been trying to build his own AI robot like Penny, in his spare time. He wanted it to be done in time to become a Maiden, but it wasn’t, and Salem gave that slot to Cinder and got after Watts for not contributing enough. He of course thought this was deeply unfair (especially after being made to contribute a lot to Cinder’s Beacon success without getting any credit for it.) And this just fueled his hatred of Cinder, his hatred of Pietro and Ironwood, and by extension, his hatred of Penny.

What I would change about them if I was making a re-write

I would keep him freaking alive and keep up the pair up he had going on with Cinder and Neo! But also I’d increase his relationships with Emerald, Mercury, Tyrian, Hazel... Just some more Salem’s Inner Circle moments to flesh out their characters. Other than that, I wouldn’t change much. He’s a pretty good character.

What I I think of their character allusion and what (if anything) I would change about it

Okay, I’ve talked about his character allusion in a very long post awhile ago, but I’m not scrolling down that far to tag it. To sum it up... I hate his allusion. XD I loved the Sherlock Holmes books and read most of them, and I didn’t realize he was supposed to allude to John Watson until I read someone else’s post saying so, and I started freaking out about how awful it was. Watts has so little in common with Watson, he’s essentially the anti-Watson. Which basically means he’s Sherlock Holmes, the opposite of Watson in almost every way, up to and including freaking faking his death which is one of the most iconic Sherlock Holmes thing ever. Watts is everything Sherlock Holmes is on his worst days, arrogant, callous, consumed with his projects, petty, smug, over the top - as well as being hyper intelligent and a genius who often just gets passed over. He has rivalries with his colleagues like Holmes did. And like I said, he faked his death, only to reveal himself to an old friend later on the cusp of carrying out a scheme. He’s evil Holmes! He has nothing to do with John Watson - caring, humble, down to earth, not brilliant like his friend but content to be ordinary and special because of his emotional depth and devoted heart, medical former doctor who spends quite a lot of time chronicling the successes of someone else because he’s content to live in the background. Don’t get me wrong, a ‘Watson’ character who is evil could work - Watson himself indulged in crime for the sake of Holmes sometimes in the original works and if he worshipped Salem or one of her followers and did everything for her while still being a more humble, more friendly, not brilliant person he could be good - but Watts is not that person. Even the gimmicks Watts is given are stupid and don’t make it obvious he’s Watson. Boy’s got a moustache and a revolver and they thought that’d be enough. Idk why they thought 'we’ll make him Watson’ when he’s clearly a Holmes! Also, he’s supposed to be ‘Watson if he’d met Moriarty instead of Holmes,’ and to that I say boo! Watson wouldn’t turn into a super genius just because he meets a different mastermind!

...That’s summing up my feelings, yeah. Because I have so many feelings about his warped, weird character allusion. If I was changing it, I’d just make him Holmes like I think he was clearly supposed to be.

[pyroclaststan]

Does Wren have memory loss? What’s his relationship with Steel like? What about his relationship with Ortega? What were they like in his Sidestep days?

Wen is unable to connect to a lot of his memories that involve people close to him. It’s moreso he has a sneaking suspicion that Heartbreak made him give those memories up rather than him choosing to do it willingly. He can’t fathom willingly giving up the few friends he had.

Wen and Wei were at odds back in the day because the latter hated how close the former was to Ortega. Which is hilarious because they were both madly crushing on Ricardo but not saying anything. He had the biggest crush on Steel but also hated his guts because he reminded him of old handlers, so that was an equally confusing time for him. Nowadays they talk more, are understanding each other more, and discovered their mutual crushes on both Ortega and each other. They still prod each other here and there, but it’s friendly now. Flirty even.

Wen and Ortega were always close, but Wen’s dumbass couldn’t fathom the concept of Ortega liking him the way he like Ortega. Ricardo was someone Wen liked to hide behind: he was a big personality and popular figure that drew all the attention away, and in turn Wen could support him comfortably. Their friendship meant the world to Wen so he refused to confess his feelings. Nowadays, Ortega called him out on hiding them [obviously] and they’ve begun… whatever they’d call it. With Wei, too.

Back in the day, they were kinda ridiculous. I mean, they still are, but even more so: they wore a lot of clothes from tourist shops and when forced to go out with Ortega & Co he’d pick the most obnoxious sunglasses that would draw more attention to him so it’d be harder for Ortega to block—it was his attempt to stop getting invited out. It didn’t work: Anathema and Charge eventually joined in and made it a Sunday brunch event. Owl hated him even more than she already did because of that. It took awhile for Ortega to pick up on his ADHD and for the two of them to realise Wen didn’t even know he had it. He’s medicated now (illegally). He was always filled with restless energy, and really only stayed still and focused on things when working on his art… and then would realise he hadn’t eaten for twelve hours. Don’t even ask old him to keep track of time… Ortega bought him a really nice watch, proceeded to fry it, Wen fixed the partially melted thing, and doesn’t remember when he lost it… or refuses to. They were young, filled with energy, sass, and moxie; living each day for that day.

[shijiujun]

wow i wanted to watch winter begonia but after seeing the ending i’m glad i didn’t even with all the cute bromance-y and soulmate parts which i think are really, really good - i watched the first two eps and the last ep and managed to tear up so FRICK winter begonia is so good but this is why i am always sad about shows that happen in the era it’s always war and tragedy and i hate it when the two main leads have to leave each other? first with MRIAD (altho okay this one it’s disappointing but not gut wrenching sad), and then winter begonia’s ending is excellent but really gut wrenching sad so ;-; 

i don’t know which is worse -  having a really cute, flirty and trope-y bromance with MRIAD and then having it ruined by a hetero relationship at the end or having like the deep-seated you-are-my-soulmate even if it’s not romantic but platonic and then having them leave each other because of different ideals or goals in that time and probably never seeing each other again?

i think winter begonia really slapped me in the gut because gosh, the two main leads love each other so much platonically and they’ll never find people like each other again, and huang xiao ming REALLY, really sold it with his lingering gazes (what’s up with all these men and their pretty soulful eyes filled with love wtf?!)

and then where in MRIAD the farewell at the end was kinda funny but sad, at least QCS was there to see him off and temporarily? 

for winter begonia it’s... he sees an illusion of the other guy coming to see him off at the train station and FUCK that guts me like nothing else does, and he smiles at the image - not mentioning after leaving the other guy, he tears up on the way in the car and as he walks off and then at the train station? wow i’m depressed man, tha’s true love

[lifesasickjoke]

The Dirt

The Dirt - part 2

part 1 - part 3

Pairing: Douglas!Nikki x Reader

Word count: 3015

Chapter summary: Tommy leads (Y/N), Mick, and Nikki to a small garden party, where he thinks they will find the perfect lead singer for their band.

Tommy was right, of course, and Vince became the newest addition to the band they named Mötley Crüe.

Warnings: Swearing

Authors note: The gifs don’t seem to be loading and I hope its only on my computer. Bare with me, I’m trying to fix them.

We followed Nikki into the garden party made to host a band.

The party had a lot of people crowding around. Especially girls. A hell load of girls.

Their heads all turned to us when Nikki walked through the gates followed by one small, grumpy dad, one tall, hyperactive puppy, and an (H/C) in a white summer dress following after them. The vibes that radiated off this group was somewhere in between annoyed, giddy, smug and tense.

No, larger crowds didn't make me uncomfortable, it was just the amount of girls making eyes at Nikki.

Yes, I was used to it at this point, since we’ve known each other I’ve seen that Nikki could win any girl he wanted with just a string of words. But that doesn't mean I have to enjoy putting up with enduring all this sexual tension.

A smaller group of girls we passed giggled as their eyes lingered on my friends. I jogged a little to catch up with the group.

Being a bystander like those girls back there, you would have never guessed that I hang out with these three leather-clad and emo looking people because of our clashing style of personas and clothing.

I was walking right next to Nikki now. He noticed and smiled kindly down at me. He had a growth spurt about five years ago which made him at least twenty centimetres or so taller than me.

When we walked past the bar though, he suddenly moved his arm and reached out for a bottle of jack. He rested that arm loosely on my shoulders and passed the bottle of jack into his other hand so he could drink from it. But he didn't remove the arm that draped over my shoulder.

Sometimes, I really wonder if he was either teasing me in a friendly way or if he knew that I had fallen head of heels for him.

He steered me and the group towards the crowds of girl and then past them towards a table. The stage where the band was playing was right in front of us. When I realized that the band was singing a cover of ‘My Kinda Lover’, I couldn't resist on softly singing along.

Nikki had the guts to chuckle and pull me into his body a little closer.

‘A fucking cover band?’ Mick grunted.

Tommy nodded happily, ‘yeah, but I'm telling you I went to high school with this dude.’

I broke free from Nikki’s arm and walked with Mick to a free table. I loosely danced on the spot next to him.

‘So you aren't the singer and you don't play an instrument.’ he said.

‘That's right.’ I nodded.

‘So what are you for? You’re not forced to be at the band sessions because your boyfriend dragged you along, right?’

‘Boyfriend?’ I stopped stepping to the beat. Mick pointed at Nikki, who was walking this way as we spoke.

I laughed and quickly shook my head.

‘No, we’re just friends.’ I corrected quickly. But Mick didn't seem fazed by my reply.

Nikki sat down the bottle of jack and slipped into the free spot next to me.

‘His voice ain't bad.’ Mick complimented.

‘Understatement’ I smiled and continued to sway to the song.

‘I don't care if he can sing or not. Look what he's doing to those chicks.’ Nikki pointed out.

He was right. The crowd that the lead singer seemed to have attracted the most was mainly full of girls that occasionally gave out flirty remarks and mostly flirty shrieks.

Tommy began to bob to the beat as well and he and I danced a bit with each other. He took my hand and twirled me out under his arm.

I never noticed that Nikki was secretly admiring me dance until Tommy pointed it out to me a bit later.

‘He seems disappointed that you’re not dancing with him.’ he said jokingly and I scoffed.

When the singer hit his high note and finished the song, Tommy and I both clapped appreciatively.

‘Yeah, Vinnie!’ Tommy called out, but his voice got drowned out by the crowd of girls that were still going crazy.

‘Woo! Thank you. We’re Rock Candy!’ the lead singer, Vinnie, said into the microphone before stepping off stage.

‘Shitty name.’ Mick sighed. Referring back to his logic of ‘‘shitty name = shitty band’’

‘He's fucking perfect, man.’ Tommy insisted.

‘He's pretty good.’ Nikki agreed.

‘Got moves too.’ I added.

‘All right. I'm gonna go talk to him. Where's the tape?’ Tommy asked. Mick had given it to me earlier today and I dug around for it in my dress pockets.

We stood and watched Tommy approach the singer. They embraced in an excited hug before Tommy pointed over to us. I waved at the blondie. His gaze lingered a little longer on me and I could've sworn he gave me a flirtatious wink before he turned back to Tommy. Not even a minute later and he was already walking back to us.

‘I think he's in.’ he cheered.

I was already up making lunch when Nikki stumbled out of his cave of a room. His bed hair was sticking up in all sorts of directions and his eyes were still half closed because of the light streaming into the room. The worst thing? His sweatpants were hanging lowly off his toned hips.

My cheeks heated up immediately when I caught a glimpse of his v line. I hated myself for having fallen for Nikki. I knew that he would never like me back in that way, yet alone love.

He opened the fridge behind me and got himself a beer.

‘The boys called. They'll be here in fifteen minutes.’ I said. Nikki hummed in response and sat down next to me. He rested his head on the table.

I watched him fall asleep.

‘Hey.’ I nudged his leg with my foot. ‘Get dressed.’

I noticed a car pull up in front of our apartment. A red sports car that was way too fancy to belong to anyone in this building. Nikki noticed it too and leaned over my shoulder to pull down the blinds and get a better look.

‘Tommy, your boy’s here.’ he said. The blond singer from yesterday, Vince Neil, got out of one side and a blonde female came out from the other.

‘Who’s the chick?’ Nikki asked. His voice was full of interest.

‘Which one?’ joked Mick.

I grew kinda jealous immediately. The lady that was making her way towards our apartment was absolutely stunning in every way. She wore this beautiful cream one piece and her locks bounced in every step she took. No wonder she caught Nikki’s attention immediately

Tommy pushed us all away from the window so he could get a look too.

‘Yeah, that's him.’

Nikki opened the door when two knocks came from it.

‘Hey.’ he greeted the woman. She nodded and pushed past him, striding into my apartment. That was kinda rude, I thought to myself. But she's pretty. She could get away with stepping onto the president's foot and not apologizing after.

‘Hey, man. Nikki. Come in.’ he introduced himself.

‘What's up, man? Vince.’ Vince said. He walked into the apartment too and as soon as he saw Tommy, he immediately got more excited.

‘Hey! What's up, Vince?’ Tommy cheered.

‘All right!’ Vince showed the same level of excitement. Vince’s date, however, remained static and motionless in the middle of the room. I walked up to her and introduced myself with a handshake.

Nikki pointed at Mick. ‘This is Mick Mars.’ and then he pointed at me ‘and that's (Y/N) (L/N)’

I smiled at Vince and he nodded back.

‘Did you, uh, listen to the tape?’ Nikki asked Vince when he took the paper I was holding for him out of my hands.

‘And we got you some lyrics. This is ‘Live Wire.’’

‘Yeah, I like this one.’ Vince said.

The band got ready to play.

‘What's up, babe?’ Vince asked the girl that came with him when he noticed the judgemental looks she was giving everyone.

She answered in an innocent voice, ‘I'm just trying to make sure these guys are good enough to play with you, baby.’

The boys and I exchanged uncertain looks. I was sure that Vince was a potential lead singer, but I wasn't so sure his girlfriend approved of us.

Mick began to lead the group into the song, Tommy and Nikki following. The girl dramatically sat down next to me and crossed her long and elegant legs to appear loftier and ladylike. I handed the microphone to Vince before sitting on the sofa next to her.

‘Plug me in, I'm alive tonight. Out on the streets again. Turn me on, I'm hard to stop. Something you'll never forget. Take my fist, break down walls-’

Vince’s voice somehow managed to sound screechy and out of tune, nothing like how it was yesterday.

‘This isn't right.’ the lady shot up from the sofa and motioned for the band to stop.

‘All right. Stop.’ Nikki repeated the motion at Tommy who at first couldn't hear anything because he continued to bang the drums but then Tommy fumbled to keep his hi-hat quiet.

‘Sorry, what?’ Nikki asked the lady again now that everything had quietened down.

She fumed.

‘This music’s way too heavy, baby.’ I saw Tommy hide a snicker, Nikki suppressing one as well. Mick just blankly stared at her. I realized that he rarely ever showed any emotion whatsoever.

‘Oh, thank you.’ Nikki sarcastically said. He noticed me staring and behind the lady's back he made a gagging motion and I laughed.

‘Why don't we just tune it all down a whole step?’ Mick suggested. The band nodded.

‘Let's play it faster, too.’ Tommy added.

The lady returned to the sofa and smiled bittersweetly.  

‘If you, uh, really stretch out the chorus... and you punch the top, man. Hit this note, right here.’ Nikki said, pointing to various places on the sheet Vince was holding. Then, Nikki got more serious.

‘And muzzle that.’ he warned Vince. He was talking about his date.

The woman gasped angrily.

‘Hey, fuck you, asshole!’

She uncrossed her legs and stood up. I met Nikki's eyes and shook my head with a small smile. He shouldn't have done that. He just gave me his signature smirk. Anyone of his old school teachers would immediately send him to the principal's office when they saw that smirk. It was a daring smirk that challenged anyone that it was thrown at.

The lady took a couple of menacing steps towards him, throwing her hands around dangerously.

‘He doesn't tell me what to do, so go fuck yourself, motherfucker!’

Mick drowned her out by playing his guitar riff.

The same chords were being played, only slightly faster. And when Vince began to sing, the whole song fell into place.

The woman defeatedly sat back down when she realized no one was listening or caring about her opinions.

I, however, leaned forward in my seat with anticipation as I listened to Vince sing, Tommy striking the drums along with Nikki and Mick playing their guitars.

When Vince hit the high note, I was already grinning like an idiot and admiring the view before me.

‘Holy shit.’ the lady said when she finally realized how good they were.

I had another shift at the diner, so I got back to the apartment pretty late. I suspected that Vince, Tommy and Mick were still there, so I brought three extra servings of fries and burgers with me.

When I walked around the corner to my apartment, I could hear the laughing from the band way before I even stood in front of the door. I smiled along with their laughs and opened the door.

Nikki smiled immediately when he saw me.

‘I got dinner.’ I cheered, lifting the two plastic bags for the boys to see and dropped them next to the empty beer bottles on the coffee table. The boys had pulled up more chairs and a sofa so they could all sit in a circle.

Tommy immediately dug through one of the plastic bags as I straightened my pink dress and sat myself down too.

‘So.’ I stretched and got comfortable, ‘what’ve I missed?’  

‘So here's my theory, okay?’ Nikki made sure I was paying attention, ‘if we want to knock people on their asses, then we've gotta give them a show. The punks, they're doing the minimalist things, so let's take it in the exact opposite direction. I'm talking a stadium show in the clubs, man.’ the rest of the band were interested now too.

I nodded, encouraging him to speak further.

‘Like, costumes and lights and-’

‘Pyro! Flames and shit!  Explosions!’ Tommy shouted. A burst of fire erupted from his hands. I jumped back in shock and saw that he had a lighter and a can of hairspray in his hands.

‘Wait for a second, Tommy, that's my hairspray. Who gave you that?’ I asked him.

Tommy glanced at me sheepishly, before Nikki continued.

‘Exactly. Look, it's a fucking war out there, and the only way we win is by showing these kids something they've never seen before.’

‘Huh.’ I commented, soaking all of that in.

‘So what do we call this thing?’ Vince asked. Nikki quickly picked up his notebook and started flipping through the pages.

‘You know, it's all about being, like, fucking larger than life.’ he explained and turned his notebook to us.

In a fat, red marker, Nikki had drawn a giant pentagram and underneath written ‘XMASS’ in skinny letters.

He rose his eyebrow at me and nodded, expecting a good response from me.

‘XMASS?’ I questioned him.

He nodded like it was brilliant. Like it was the smartest thing he had ever thought of.

‘Yeah.’

‘Cute.’ I sighed under my breath when I saw how enthusiastic he was.

‘On a scale of one to ten, that gets a 1.9.’ Mick grunted.

Tommy, Vince and I chuckled as a response, but Nikki’s shoulders dropped in disappointment?

‘It's a play on Christmas, you know. You can use all the Christ imagery and shit.’ he said.

‘It'll piss people off.’ I told Nikki.

‘But it will make people think, you know.’ Nikki tried to persuade them, including me.

If he has my vote, he knows he will get his way. But he droned off when he saw Tommy pull a funny face.

He tried to save his idea as well as his train of thoughts. With one last excited hand gesture, he said, ‘it's got shock value.’

‘Yeah.’ Mick scoffed. ‘I'm shocked by how much it blows.’

I broke off into a laughing fit with Tommy and Vince.

The sight of me laughing created a small smile on Nikki’s lips as it warms his heart. But for the sake of being a buff, emo bassist, he blew off the butterflies.

‘All right then, assholes. You give it a shot,’ he said and handed some paper out, even to me, ‘but fucking make it big!’

I used the pen I had clipped to the pocket of my dress that I also used for writing down orders. It was always handy to have a pen on you. But unlike Tommy and Mick who immediately started drawing or writing on their pieces of paper, I just hovered above mine with my pen. Nothing came to mind. Nothing cool, anyways.

Next, to me, Tommy started chuckling idiotically. He leaned into my shoulder and showed me his drawing (but made sure that no one else could see it). I burst out in laughter as well, which seemed to spark Nikki’s attention more.

To my confusion, but overall surprise, I saw him give Tommy a look that was somewhat of a cross between anger and hurt. I’ve seen this look from him a lot more often now and it seemed to have started ever since Tommy and I grew closer to each other.

And sure, in this case, it might’ve been because this was a serious band discussion and he was goofing around, but a little part of me wanted him to be jealous.

‘What have you got, Tommy?’ Nikki asked. I could’ve sworn I heard his voice crack, though, like how it would when someone sees something that hurts them but they are trying to be cool about it.

Tommy proudly turned his notepad to the rest of the group. I watched Vince nearly choke on his beer and Nikki double over as both bursts into laughter as well.

Mick just shook his head and scoffed.

‘The Fourskins? Really, Tommy?’ Nikki asked.

‘‘Cause we're gonna fuck the audience in the face every night, dude.’

‘Yeah, but can you see that shit on The Marquee above The Forum?’

‘He's got a point.’ I shook my head. In the corner of my eye, I could see Nikki relax when I took his side.

Tommy considered his options, then dropped the notepad onto the sofa.

‘Okay, you're right. I'm out.’

Nikki licked his lips in thought and turned to me.

‘Anything?’

‘No, sorry.’ I hung my head.

‘Come on, Mick. you've gotta do better than that.’ Nikki sighed.

Mick contemplated his notebook, before turning it around.

It said ‘Motley Crew’. It was a simple, catchy phrase without a logo. Motley referred to the band, it meant incongruously varied in appearance or character. It referred to miscellaneous, diverse, assorted and heterogeneous. Something that they definitely were.

‘I've been waiting a long time for this day.’ Mick said. There was a small smile playing at his bottom lip.

‘All right.’ Nikki said. He took the paper pad and pen from mick and drew something onto the sign. I slid off the couch and fell to my knees beside him, watching with interest as Nikki added two dots over the ‘o’ in ‘Motley’ and crossed out the correct spelling of ‘crew’, replacing it with ‘Crüe’.

‘Now we’re talking.’ he muttered to himself, before showing the rest of the group.

Tag list: @getthefckouttahere @kingbouji3 @fandomshit6000 @spookyfrances @kwyloz @triplehaitches

Let me know if you want to be tagged :)

Also, thank you so much Hassa for the help! You are a saint. Looking forward to be working with you on the previous parts my dear.

[ardentmuse]

Could you give any advice on how to act around a crush when you only see them once a week so you're not super close and you're kinda shy? Thank you and I love your work!

Thanks, dearest! :) 

It has been such a long time since I’ve been in those shoes but I’ll do my best to provide good advice. 

My first advice is probably the hardest to take, which is to remember that your crush is also a person. They have their own thoughts and feelings and most importantly doubts and insecurities and fears. Try to bring them down in your mind to a human level. It is really easy to be blinded by the things you like and your own nervousness that you forget to treat them the same as other people. 

Start from that and the basic things like saying hi, getting to know them better, feeling comfortable to be a little more of yourself in their presence, will get much easier.

Almost every strong relationship I know, including my own, finds its foundation in friendship. Start there. What do you have in common? Likes, interests, hobbies, humor? Start with those things. See if you can see the person underneath the public self that everyone sees. I know it is hard when you are shy but imagine how you’d want to be approached by someone who wanted to be your friend. That’ll give you focus. It may be just as simple as piping up to say you like something too or offering a smile when their joke lands. Start really small and see if you get any positivity back. 

I can’t even tell you how many people I had crushes on when I was younger that I came to discover I didn’t even like as people. My first boyfriend… I was so in love with my idea of him. He was handsome and rugged and way too flirty, silly and strong and sexual. And then we actually started dating and everything annoyed me. Why did I think I’d enjoy talking about football with him? I HATE FOOTBALL. Why did I think I’d enjoy our time together? I HATE HIS STYLE OF HUMOR. And that thing he constantly did with his jaw or the way he always inserted himself in everything… the instant I got past that gut attraction, we had nothing. I broke up with him within a week. 

Also, and as much as this one sucks to remember, try to understand that two people both seeing something in each other and feeling a connection, to be each other’s type and find themselves at the same place in their lives where something can happen, is incredibly rare. If nothing comes of this, it doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you. Two ships passing in the night and all that… And don’t push! Nothing good comes from over-inserting yourself. Come to people in good faith with an eagerness to know them as people and no matter what happens you’ll come out on the other side a better person. 

Sending love to your fluttering heart, friend. Best of luck! Go show ‘em your best self!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️