#like know and trust them because i work with them and see firsthand how fucking amazing they are

[yourbestgal]

cat bite infected and they had to give me a big shot in my ASSCHEEK now my leg hurts from the bite and my ass does too

[ironunderstands]

Fu Xuan X Qingque is fucking peak IN THIS ESSAY I WILL-

Today I’m gonna yap about how underrated this absolutely incredible ship is, and why I love it, so sit back and enjoy because I have THOUGHTS. Also, thank you so much to @cosmicquilt on tumblr for providing me their own insight into it, as well as a place for me to begin, I really do appreciate it! 

Before I go in depth on them, I think their status as *package deal do not separate* is really funny and cute, and I’m surprised people don’t point it out more with just how obvious it really is.

Here’s some example’s I’ve collected (thank you quilt for the first two screenshots!) 

This is from the food event in 2.0, and to me it seems like Fu Xuan bought it out of curiosity, then Qingque had some and got messy because of it.

They are also together in the Penacony mural thing (just like Aventio hehe), and you can see Qingque reaching towards a gambling machine while Fu Xuan pulls her back, as if she predicted the other would immediately make a beeline towards the machines, and had to prevent that from happening. 

Today Is Another Peaceful Day is the name of the lightcone shared between them, whose description is quite comical.

Fu Xuan did infact find her again, she is angry and the sweets Qingque bought to placate her don’t seem like they are going to do much 😭.

Qingque also makes an appearance in Fu Xuan’s trailer, which only tends to happen when characters have an established close relationship or connection (like Dan Heng appearing in Blade’s)

Their team joining voicelines also match perfectly- in fact they tell a pretty funny story of yet another time Fu Xuan goes to look for Qingque, who’s supposedly slacking off again.

This also implies that Fu Xuan knows Qingque well enough at this point to guess accurately where she would be hiding and when she would leave, which is adorable and honestly really funny. 

Overall, on a surface level, their Looney Tunes dynamic is incredibly entertaining and endearing, making their relationship rather lighthearted and sweet. Girlboss X Girlfailure is always fun to watch and a personal favorite in ships for me is when one character has to deal with the other’s antics (you know who :3). I also think it’s a good way to set up a developing relationship, as they get closer and closer together each time they play this game of cat and mouse, which is something that is demonstrated by the game.

So, let’s look at them a little deeper now.

Within the quest, Omniscient Inquiry of Arcana, which is found within the main Xianzhou quest line, we see firsthand how much Fu Xuan actually trusts Qingque. 

Even if Qingque is often unreliable, Fu Xuan is not at all surprised that she is the one who helped bring the Nameless to her, as Fu Xuan knows she can bet on Qingque to come through with her responsibilities when she needs to.

The thing is, Qingque is lazy, but she is by no means incompetent, and gets all her work done on time. Moreover, Fu Xuan knows this better than anyone, especially considering she’s the one who has to go looking for Qingque when she slacks off 90% of the time (something which she doesn’t have to do, she could delegate someone else to do it yet every time Fu Xuan personally sees the matter done). 

So, even if Qingque is just a librarian, instead of fetching someone else to help, Fu Xuan also has her restart the base terminals for the Matrix of Presence, because she knows and trusts Qingque to be capable of it, almost without a second thought. 

Even if the task at hand isn’t particularly difficult, and Fu Xuan could easily do it herself, she lets herself be lazy and trusts Qingque to do so, as I will get into further, they are far more similar than Fu Xuan realizes.

In the quest line prior, Qingque also describes just how much she in turn believes in Fu Xuan, stating that even if the sky were to collapse, she could count of Fu Xuan attempting to hold it up- and she makes fun of Fu Xuan for being short despite being of similar stature.

A remark such as that illustrates how time and time again, Qingque has witnessed Fu Xuan put her all into protecting the Xianzhou and its people, which has earned Fu Xuan Qingque’s utmost respect, even if that doesn’t stop her from slacking off from time to time.

As funny as their dynamic is, the genuine trust they display in one another is heartwarming, and as much as they annoy one another (or really as much as Qingque bothers Fu Xuan with her antics), they truly do have faith in each other. Continually, Qingque’s awareness of the burden’s Fu Xuan has to carry slots her into a unique role of being one of the few people who could support her in a time of need.

Which is exactly what we get to witness in the Heliobi event.

Fu Xuan gets possessed and fire’s Qingque because of it, who isn’t too upset about it as admittedly her tendency to slack off was waisting her life. 

However, she attempts to give a speech to drag Fu Xuan out of her possession, attempting to mask it as her desire to not be fired disgracefully, but really she just wanted to break Fu Xuan out of the illusion. 

Unfortunately, Fu Xuan isn’t having it, and spouts a lot of stuff to the ghostbusting gang, expressing that her former attempts to change the Xianshou’s fate were futile, and that destiny is unavoidable and unchangeable, and that human’s desires to resist it are pointless.

Then, she makes the squad + QQ play a puzzle in which she controls all the outcomes, just to demonstrate how pointless the choices humans make, as they will always lead to the same result. To possessed Fu Xuan, choice is merely an illusion, a waste of time, and she cannot be convinced of it otherwise.

Until Qingque steps in. And perhaps the greatest demonstration of just how much she CARES for Fu Xuan plays out.

Qingque starts out by saying that the game Fu Xuan made them play is not an accurate representation of reality, and that the universe doesn’t have puzzles for them to solve. People have free will, and even if Qingque uses that will to slack off, those choices are still hers and still CHOICES. 

However Fu Xuan isn’t buying it, and this is when the core of why she was possessed in the first place gets revealed.

Qingque’s choices don’t have consequences, at least not far reaching as Fu Xuan’s do. But every action, every decision, every minute step in any direction that Fu Xuan takes could plunge the entire Xianzhou into chaos, and ruin EVERYTHING. 

So, Qingque proposes a new puzzle, hoping to be able to change Fu Xuan’s mind this time.

Qingque fails again this time, however Fu Xuan is starting to get an idea of what she’s getting and, and Qingque reiterates that there will always be more choices to make, even if the puzzles appear to only have one solution.

Therefore, she tries one last time.

Qingque shoves her own solution into the puzzle, her own way by drawing on the help of the ghostbusting squad, but still Fu Xuan cannot be convinced, believing instead that the thousands of different paths people take all lead to the same destination, so making choices is pointless.

However, that’s not what Qingque is getting at, and in perhaps the most heartfelt speech given in this game so far, she saves Fu Xuan, and demonstrates why her choices DO matter. Moreover, she does it in the most Qingque way possible- by explaining it through a comparison to Celestial Jade.

It’s not winning or the outcome that makes Celestial Jade fun, it’s the choices you get to make while you play it which is what makes it enjoyable. However, much like how even if the outcome of a game is predetermined, just because the universe’s destiny could be predetermined doesn’t mean people are aware of it, or that it even matters. Like in a game, in your life , you cannot control all the outcomes, but how you react to the twists and turns it throws your way, and the choices you make because of that, is what makes living worth it.

And if Fu Xuan’s choices didn’t matter, she wouldn’t be making them in the first place.  Perhaps she can’t prevent everything, and perhaps the universe really is weighted against her and the Luofu, but every day Fu Xuan makes decisions that help it stay around a little longer, that save a few more people, that buy a bit more time. The universe isn’t a game, and you can’t just determine your decisions to be meaningless because of some threatening ending that might never come to pass, and like Qingque says, Fu Xuan wouldn’t suffer the effort if what she works so hard for doesn’t mean anything. 

By reaffirming that destiny is an illusion, Qingque saves Fu Xuan and breaks her out of the Heliobi’s possession. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA 

PROTECTIVE QINGQUE AAAAAARREAAAAA GRRRRRR TJEY ARE SO IN LOVE GRRRRR R SNANAKMZS AAAAAAA

Qingque tries to get out of work for good but Fu Xuan reminds her that Qingque reminded her that she had choices, and Qingque gets flustered and accepts her defeat.

What do you mean by that Fu Xuan, what do you mean by that, hmm? HMMM??? ELABORATE FU XUAN ELABORATE??? Sesbian lex???

So Qingque is in love with her boss and we all cheered, but don’t worry, and QQ also happens to get possessed by a Heliobus, and the way Fu Xuan behaves towards her is just as sweet and hilarious.

In her illusion, there’s a bunch of Fu Xuan clones who praise Qingque, much to the annoyance of Fu Xuan, who gets flustered and angry over it. Honestly I love just how many romance tropes that are displayed in their relationship, with this as a prime example. Like making a bunch of clones of your crush to praise you? Having Fu Xuan bear witness to exactly what makes Qingque happy (her praise)? The boss-employee dynamic getting reversed? I love it give me 500000. 

The nickname??? Oh you just know Qingque was waiting to call her that, infact she probably had it in her brain for a while, but just didn’t feel confident enough to do it in her previous power dynamic with Fu Xuan, so I wonder what else Qingque holds back from Fu Xuan because she doesn’t believe they are close enough for that. 

Ooh she’s mad mad GET ITS ASS FU XUAN YEAAAHHHH YEEAAH THATS WHAT YOU GET HELIOBUS HAHAHAHAHAH 

What if I ascended to another dimension? What if I left this mortal plane? What if Honkai Star Rail what if? What do you mean Fu Xuan is fussing over Qingque like a wife when her husband returns from war, what do you mean she goes, “As long as you’re okay,” then immediately is like “get back to work,” because she realized she was being too soft. What do you mean she fucking PATS QINGQUE ON THE HEAD AND LEAVES LIKE THAT???? 

I’m actually insane about this like how does nobody talk about them? The most peak relationship ever right there and I see NOTHING??? Like not only is it fucking hilarious with their game of cat and mouse they having going on with one another, but they truly just understand and adore each other even if both of them haven’t exactly realized it yet.

If I were to be 100% honest if you told me that speech Qingque gave to Fu Xuan in the Heliobi event was a confession one, then I would believe you because that was the most romantic shit ever. Like telling your companion in a time of need that their choices DO mean something and that they are such a capable individual whom everyone relies on, who YOU rely on?? If I was Fu Xuan I would have proposed right there I would have summoned up a ring I don’t care.

It’s just, I love relationships where two characters just GET one another inside and out, and FuQing is such a perfect example of it. Something about a trust that runs so deep that the two people who forged that bond don’t even realize it because of simply how long it’s persisted, like they’ve just acclimated to it because it’s been such a fixture of life for so long.

They are each other’s safety nets, and when one of them is in need, the other always delivers and UGHH IM INSANE ABOUT IT.

HOW DID THIS FLY UNDER PEOPLES NOSES??! HOW DID EVERYONE DO THE 1.5 EVENT AND NOT IMMEDIATELY START RUNNING LAPS AROUND THEIR HOUSE BECAUDE WHAT??? Literally that speech Qingque gives to Fu Xuan is one of my favorite scenes in the game, perhaps right behind the 1.6 Ratio-Screwllum scene and if you know me then you know how absolutely bonkers I am about that scene. It’s just so earnest and funny and it encapsulates the themes of HSR perfectly, with Qingque reiterating the overarching theme of the game: Trailblazing, ie moving forward with life no matter the destination (destiny), as it’s the choices you make along the way and the journey you take that matters.

Moreover, that’s what makes it so fucking good; it meshes perfectly with the overall story of the game. Despite how busy both of them are, despite how they often have higher priorities or could just go to other people or whatever, Qingque and Fu Xuan consistently choose one another, for both the most trivial and the most dire of situations. 

The road ahead for the Xianzhou is uncertain, but no matter how the path twists, Qingque and Fu Xuan will travel it side by side, and for that I will always adore them.

Thank you so much for reading! I fear I couldn’t be as intelligent about why I love this ship as I wanted to be, but I hope you at least got the idea a little bit haha. Maybe I’ll be able to me smarter about them one day but for now all my thoughts about them circle back to incoherent screaming. Honestly it’s probably because I like their dynamic far more than I like their characters standalone, so I can’t really bring that into the discussion, but perhaps with time I will be able to add onto this. For now though, all I’m hoping for is the wedding they deserve lol. 

[caffetato-the-caffeinated-potato]

So, I recently saw Dragons Rising S2 part 2, and an interesting thought occurred to me.

Spoilers underneath the cut

Early series Arin sorta acts as a representation of the fandom. He grew up with stories of the ninja, and absolutely adores them. He knows basically every publicly known fact about them, and is eager to infodump those facts to anyone who will listen.

So with that context, it makes the arc Arin goes through in the second part of S2 where he becomes disillusioned with the ninja and loses faith and trust in them utterly fascinating.

It is no secret that much of the fandom has themselves become disillusioned with Ninjago in recent years. You see that online all the time. Hell, I've met people like that in real life twice this year.

As someone who has been active in the online fandom for at least five years (and a fan of the show for longer), the way that Arin regards Wu is all too familiar.

Now, I love Wu. I am not shy about it, and will continue to say it til the end of time. But I don't love him because I think he is a perfect, flawless person who has done no wrong. No, I love him because he is complicated and nuanced. He clearly loves the ninja - that is clear as day to me - but he also has a fatal flaw with his secret keeping.

I can 100% believe he fucked up somehow, and that resulted in the Merge. Whether that be as simple as him just not telling the ninja about the coalescence and thus failing to prepare them for it, or even something he actively did that resulted in the Merge. It's not like he hasn't done similar things in the past, after all.

I do not buy for a second that there was any malicious intent behind it.

I cannot see a world where Wu would intentionally, knowingly endanger his students or even the world at large. We don't know the full story yet. There are pieces of the puzzle still missing, I'm sure.

But Arin, much like the fandom, cannot see the nuance in Wu's actions. Arin once believed Wu to be this infallible ideal of a wise old mentor figure. And the second that illusion broke, that Arin learned Wu was in some way responsible for causing the Merge, Wu immediately became the bad guy.

Arin cannot understand why the others struggle to accept that Wu is some terrible person because Arin didn't know Wu like the ninja do. The ninja knew Wu for years, they've seen his strengths and his flaws firsthand. They know him too well to immediately assume the worst of him, because they know how hard he's worked to protect Ninjago from the worst threats it has ever faced.

I could probably go on, but I think this post is long enough.

[roseblog-rog]

She Actually Built a Shrink Ray…

(contains g/t mouthplay, g/t fearplay, and dubcon)

My best friend—Jamie—told me a while ago that she was working on a big project. After some prying from my end, she revealed it was going to be some sort of laser that would…do something with, like, atoms? And it would decrease them…I think? Maybe? When she started using science talk I kinda zoned out.

But she eventually dumbed it down for me, saying it would make whatever object it hits far smaller, which actually kinda made sense.

“So, a shrink ray? Like Honey, I Shrunk the Kids?”

“Yeah, something like that…but what the fuck are you talking about? Shrinking kids n’ shit??”

“WHAT??? YOU DON’T KNOW THAT MOVIE???? IT’S A CLASSIC!”

“Nah you made that shit up.”

For someone so smart she’s a complete dumbass. Or maybe it’s just not a popular movie…

Anyways, it’s not that I doubted her ability, per se, but I was highly skeptical about whether that was even possible. I mean sure, the idea of shit from Honey, I Shrunk the Kids being real was very intriguing…but could she do it?

That question was finally answered today when she sent me a text saying ‘HAZELLLLL COME OVER NOWWWW ITS SUPER DUPER IMPORTANT 😱😱😱’, and I arrived to her house only to be dragged to her lab where I found…well…a big laser. It really did look like something out of a movie, appearing very similar to Wayne Szalinski’s own creation.

This is where I am now: staring at the large machine, shock and some slight skepticism evident. “Is–is this…?”

“You bet your ass it is! Here lemme show you.” She ran over to a box containing several big red building blocks, taking one out and putting it on a stool where the laser was aimed. She then moved over to some sort of control panel and fiddled with some switches until the tip of the laser was glowing yellow.

I watched in awe; her genuine scientific prowess never ceases to amaze me. Still, I couldn’t help but make a remark. “Y’know, I honestly expected the beam to be red. Maybe some blue glow mixed in.” I smirk.

She glared at me playfully. “Well sooorryyyy it’s not exactly like your stupid obscure movie.”

We laughed as she finished activating the machine. She beckoned me to her side and we both watched as an actual laser was fired onto the building block, making it glow in a similar shade to the beam itself. My mouth then hung open in complete awe as I watched the once large block slowly shrink until it was about as big as a fingernail. She then turned off the machine, and we both went to look at the results. Sure enough, the block was intact, and I picked it up between my fingers to get a closer look.

Well holy fucking shit. The block was exactly the same aside from the now smaller size, and I could see Jamie grinning out of the corner of my eye.

“This is…this is, well, revolutionary.” I couldn’t believe she built this thing, still caught up in the shock of it all.

“Oh but thats not all! Put the block back on the stool.” She instructed, rushing back to the control panel. I could tell she was just as excited about this as I was, if her happy little bounces and giggles were any indication.

I placed the block back and returned to my position beside her, noticing the tip of the laser was now glowing purple instead of yellow. The process then repeated, only this time I watched the block grow back to its original size. Incredible.

“I still can’t believe you actually managed to pull this off…”

“You saying you doubted me?” She gave me another lighthearted glare. “Aaaaanyways, you ready?”

Ah. Right. Because I love and trust Jamie more than anyone, also seeing her capabilities firsthand, I volunteered to help test her machines as a human subject. Is there an ethical issue with this arrangement? Maybe, but it’s cool.

However…

While nothing bad has ever happened to me as a result of previous tests, Jamie has a tendency to…mess with me during the process. She knows her machines more than I do, therefore knowing exactly how to fuck with me. Like the time she built some sort of emotional amplifier, activating it whenever I laughed until I was quite literally pissing myself and breathless on the ground laughing. Or the time she built that stupid artificial spider drone—Jeffrey, the fucker—and kept making it crawl into my peripherals to scare the shit out of me.

I love her to death but she can be a real pain in the ass during tests, using my misery to fully test the capabilities of her machines. The sadist.

This time though…this time was different. I would be completely at her mercy, too tiny to do anything but accept whatever she does. It was…thrilling, honestly. Will it be scary? Probably. Will I get annoyed? Maybe.

But she wouldn’t hurt me.

“Yeah yeah okay whatever, let’s get this over with.” I sat down at the stool, and Jamie gave me a knowing smirk. I watched the laser—which was now pointed at me—start to glow yellow again, but despite the nerves I could never miss a joke opportunity.

“I am not missing the mall today.” I huffed and rolled my eyes, truly embodying my inner Amy. Jamie just stared at me with the most deadpan stare I’ve ever seen.

“I am so glad I finished building this so I don’t have to deal with your bullshit about this movie you’re so obsessed with.”

“Oh cmonnnnn. Youuuu loveeee meeeeee~” I taunted in my singsong voice. But at that moment she smiled and the machine was activated.

The feeling of the beam hitting me is…hard to describe. The best word I can think of is tingly. An almost soft and fuzzy sensation filled my body as I watched the world around me get bigger and bigger. It was one thing to see an object shrink, but a whole different experience to actually see the world grow while you get smaller. Tables grew taller, tools became gigantic, things that were once so close by slowly felt miles away. Even the stool I was sitting on transformed into more of an open landscape in my eyes.

After some time the world stopped warping around me, and I stood up to take in my surroundings. I was so familiar with Jamie’s lab, and yet it seemed like a completely new room from this perspective. I could notice cracks and rough edges around me with more clarity, notice particles of dust flying through beams of light. I glanced down from the stool and it felt like I was on top of a whole fucking mountain. This was absolutely insane, like h—

“Holy shit!” Jamie’s voice boomed through my ears, and I had to raise my hands to cover them from the vibrations that practically shook my whole body. My ears started ringing. A shadow now loomed over me, and looking up I could see Jamie towering above. From the look on her face, though barely legible due to the distance, she seemed to notice my more sensitive hearing.

“Oops, sorry Hazey.” Her voice fell to a calmer speaking tone, which no longer rattled my eardrums as I slowly lowered my hands. “I can’t believe that actually worked!”

I laugh, smirking. “Oh look who’s doubting herself now.”

She pauses for a moment, then speaks again. “I can barely hear you.” She chuckles. “That’s new.”

“Hey!” I pout, also noticing she’s cupped her hands. She lowers them down to the stool, and it looks like an offer to climb in. I accept, stepping onto her palm and balancing myself.

“Just don’t lift me up too—“ I feel her hands rocket up towards her face, and I fall over from the sheer force of it. Dark spots quickly faded in and out of my vision “…quickly.”

She chuckles softly. “Sorry about all this, you’d think I’d have thought about how to properly treat you with how much preparation I did.” I stood back up and met her eyes. They were huge, and I could really take in the rich shades of brown within her irises. “But speaking of you,” she left me standing on one hand while she moved the other to ruffle my hair with her pointer finger, “you are so fucking cute! You’re like a little speck on my hand!!”

I blush furiously, not used to being the short one. “Hey! I’m not that small!” Being in her hand I could see I was about the size of half her finger.

“Awwww poor wittwle thing~” She continued to coo and rub the top of my head. I hate the fact that it actually felt really good. Is this how she was gonna mess with me this time? Taunting me for being short?

“Stoppppp!” I whined through giggles, starting to melt at the contact but being unable to actually do anything about it. I already know my face is completely red. She knows me too fucking well.

Her finger starts to softly shove me around a bit, rubbing ever so often. I get a bit dizzy from the overwhelming tenderness of it all.

“Hehe! You’re such a fun little toy!”

That comment makes my mind and heart stutter, and I really start to take in just how powerless I am in this situation. I begin feeling a bit of wetness in my panties, but try to keep those thoughts at bay. As far as I know, Jamie isn’t interested in sex or anything of the sort. Besides, we’re friends. I’ll just enjoy the soft shoves and rubs and coos, that’s more than enough.

But then I notice that blush has crept onto her face as well, and she slowly smirks as her finger stops playing with me. She gently pinches the back of my shirt, lifting me up, and now I’m really helpless. I instinctively and slowly start to flail around to free myself from her grip, but to no avail.

I’m in front of her mouth now, and her lips are slightly parted. I can feel how heavy she’s breathing, warm air pushing out and brushing against my skin. Her breath smells nice, it’s honestly kind of soothing.

“I’ve been waiting a long time for this. Sorry in advance.” With that being my only warning, she fully opens her mouth and sticks her tongue out. She’s salivating a lot, and the realization of what she’s doing dawns on me.

“Wait! Wait wait wait wait!” She drops me onto her tongue as I beg and squirm, but no matter how much I try to crawl off of her tongue I cannot get any sort of grip. I keep slipping and falling helplessly as her tongue snakes back into her mouth with me on it.

“No no no no no please! Jamie!” But it’s too late. I’m fully inside her mouth at this point, her tongue now flipping me over to hold me down against the bottom of her mouth. I try to push myself out, but she’s too strong. I feel tears start enter my eyes.

“I don’t mean to scare you. I swear I’m not like…eating you or something. I just…” She trails off, and her mouth fully closes.

I honestly never realized just how dark the mouth is when closed, because it’s open whenever I look into mine. But now I get the real experience. It’s dark. Very dark. The air around me is also very thick and humid, the warmth of her tongue and copious amounts of saliva contributing heavily. It also smells completely like Jamie’s breath in here—I mean, obviously—but overwhelmingly so. I can hear her breathe through her throat from my position under her tongue.

Her throat. Right.

Well, she said she wasn’t gonna eat me…but what the fuck is happening then? Is this just another scare prank? Is she secretly a cannibal and just lied to make me struggle less? I’m at a complete loss.

I feel her moving around now, hear her searching through drawers for something. The vibrations of her footsteps ripple through the mouth, bouncing me between her wet tongue and the floor. As scary as this is, the warmth is comfortable, and the moisture surrounding me is actually pretty arousing.

Fuck, I’m trapped in my now-giant friend’s mouth and all I can do is be a whore. Typical, honestly.

I try to move again but I’m still being held down, and suddenly I hear Jamie stop searching. A breath of relief moves up through her throat and out her lips, giving me a brief glimpse of light before it is snuffed out once again.

I’m not even scared anymore, honestly. I’m just bored. This sucks actually. If you’re gonna scare me like this at least up the stakes.

I feel her move around some more until she sits down on what is either a couch or her bed. Regardless, I felt the bounce.

“Jamieeeeee!” I try to yell out to her, hoping she hears me from in here. “What the fuck is going on?!” I need answers and if nothing else I can try to get them.

“Just—! Please let me have this.” I’ve never heard her like this before, voice so shaky and desperate. I feel some fear creep back in, but this time it’s for her rather than me. “I need you, Hazel.” I’m still confused until I hear the familiar buzz of a vibrator.

Oh.

Oh shit.

She…this…huh????? I can barely process what this actually means before I hear moans reverberating up from her throat, the pool of saliva around me starting to grow. I can feel her body start to shake with arousal, also starting to notice her tongue snaking back.

I’m able to stand up now, but it takes extra effort with how soaked I am in saliva. It’s heavy and slick, almost keeping me down. I can feel my clothes completely stuck to my body, making it very obvious that I’m hard. My heart rate and breathing are also picking up, both from shock and the resurgence of my arousal from before getting put in here.

Then her tongue leaps at me before I can react, pushing me against her gums repeatedly as I squirm to break free. It’s bigger than my entire body, each lick completely drenching me in more gooey spit. As much as I should be disgusted, this sensation is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before. It’s so warm and wet and comfortable, sending tingles of pleasure from my crotch throughout my entire body. Her moans pick up with each lick as well, and I truly start to realize just what she meant when saying ‘I need you.’

Her tongue quickly gets more frantic and suggestive, lapping my entire lower body from my feet up to my crotch, and I already feel incredibly sensitive and brainless as the motions continue. I can’t help but join Jamie in moaning. Instinct overtaking me, I remove my clothes as best I can while being bombarded with wet sensations. I manage to get my shirt and bra off first, and Jamie quickly notices what I’m doing as she focuses her tongue movements towards my now exposed upper body instead. This makes her moan even louder, if that’s even possible at this point.

My pants come next, and this takes some effort given how wet and sticky they are, combined with the fact that I’m still being licked mercilessly against a giant row of teeth. When the pants are lowered enough to reveal my panties, Jamie moves her tongue back down to my crotch. With one less cloth barrier, the overwhelming sensations are too much to handle, and I orgasm. I can feel my panties grow even wetter despite how soaked they already are. Jamie stops for a moment, taking in the taste of my leakage as it drips down my thighs and into the pool of saliva below me. Her tongue feeling me up as I continue to leak honestly feels so pathetic, and I can’t help but whimper.

Once Jamie finally realizes just what she’s tasting, she goes feral. Her tongue picks me up and shoves me over to her molars, placing me down carefully only to bite specifically at my pants and panties to rip them off. I’m finally completely naked. I’m then forcefully sent sliding towards her lips, pushed through so that my upper body dangles out of her mouth while my legs stay inside. She has her lips pressed tightly against my crotch, and she begins sucking on me while simultaneously licking relentlessly at my taint. It’s too much, sliding back and forth on her lips like this, grinding against such intense moisture, feeling that giant tongue absolutely lick me clean. I can’t think straight.

My vision is blurry in the light after having been in darkness for so long, but I can see Jamie vibing her clit. She’s shaky and wet, her frantic breaths pushing against my body as I rest my upper half against her lower lip.

I already feel close to a second orgasm, but then Jamie’s vibrator turns off. Her mouth opens wide, tongue licking her lips while I’m dragged along against her skin underneath. I’m then plucked up by my legs, dangling in front of her face. I am completely drenched, drop after drop of saliva falling down and hitting her body. We’re both breathing heavy, faces red. She looks at me, and from my upside down view I can see her smile before I’m sent down between her thighs.

Warm. That’s the first word that comes to mind. I’m shoved against her clit, and I immediately start humping. We’re both completely soaked so the grinding is smooth. Jamie’s moans from high above me reverberate through my ears, and I can feel her get wetter by the second. Her grip doesn’t let up, and she actually starts to rub me against her forcefully. She doesn’t need her vibrator now, she can just use me. I cum again, becoming even more slicked up as I’m slid up and down across her crotch. I can’t tell whether I’m more covered in her saliva or my cum anymore, I’m too brainless and soaked to process. She is in complete control of me; I’ve become nothing but her glorified sex toy.

She starts tensing, squeezing her thighs together tightly, and she quickly shoves me inside her hole. It’s a similar environment to the mouth but far more constrictive. Oppressive. Her walls push against me as I squirm and stimulate her, barely being able to breathe from her scent and moisture completely overpowering me.

Finally, she cums, and I hold my breath as I am once again completely drenched in her. I manage to get pushed out right in between her thighs, stuck pressed there until she unclenches. It’s all so much, so many new and euphoric sensations. I’m breathing heavier than I’ve ever breathed before, feeling like I might pass out at any moment. Yet I cannot stop myself from huffing her scent like my life depends on it, cannot slow my racing heart after everything that just happened to me.

When she unclenches, I do not go sliding down her thigh. Rather, I remain stuck there, practically webbed by the saliva and cum I’ve quickly become accustomed to being drenched in. Strings of fluid connect me to her other leg. I want more. I can get an explanation later, I just need to be back in her mouth again. Back inside her. I already feel myself start to dry up and I whine, trying to squirm out of the adhesive I’m trapped in.

I hear a breathless chuckle from above as I am carefully ripped from my prison, once again left dangling in front of Jamie’s face.

“Wow, so d-desperate for more? I g-g-guess I was right. You are a fun little toy.” She stutters and takes deep breaths as she speaks, likely just as brainless from pleasure as I am.

“P-please put me back in your mouth. I need—I need to feel your tongue again.” I blush furiously at the plea, already feeling myself ready to cum again. This is so fucked.

“Of course, Hazey. Anything for you.” And with that, Jamie opens her mouth and drops me inside once again.

Feeling the warmth of her breath and saliva is a comfort I could never take for granted. Her tongue is gentler this time, hums of approval ringing from her throat as she savors every taste of me. I let myself relax for a bit as she feels me up, catching my breath while still feeling highly aroused from the licking. Once my heart rate is under control, I slowly stand and wrap my body around her tongue as best I can. I then begin to thrust myself into it over and over again, my cock sliding against the impossibly warm and slick surface. It feels amazing.

A chuckle sounds from Jamie’s throat as I hump, and I feel her body rise as she begins to—presumably—clean up. I’ve gone from a sex toy to a simple form of stimulation for her mouth. A thing to mindlessly flick around and play with while she goes around and focuses on other tasks. The thought makes me blush ever so slightly more.

I feel myself get close to a third orgasm, but her tongue quickly goes back to overpowering me, pushing me towards her molars once again. This time, however, she bites down on me. Not enough to injure or kill me, but enough to keep me trapped with just enough pain that I still feel good. My lower body is facing her tongue, but I cannot see what it’s actually doing. From the feel of it, it doesn’t seem like she’s doing anything to me anymore. Is she just going to leave me here? Prevent me from reaching the orgasm I was so close to? My train of thought is interrupted, however, when her tongue suddenly goes to fondle my crotch and taint. The surprise of receiving such overwhelming sensations out of nowhere makes me moan loudly, feeling myself just on the edge of cumming.

But. Then she stops again. Oh you’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.

She repeats this process multiple times: fondling me by surprise only to stop just before I orgasm. No matter how much I try to squirm out of her teeth, how much I try to maneuver my arms to touch myself, it’s no use. I quickly become brainless and whiny, eventually deciding to cry out pleas for her to let me cum.

After enough begging, she finally relents, licking me once again but this time without stopping. I’m still trapped under her molars, but I thrash around wildly as I’m finally able to let myself go all over her tongue. I all but scream as the feeling fills my body. I don’t care how embarrassing it may sound, all I can focus on is releasing my pent up pleasure all over her. I feel each burst of cum exit me, all of which bringing more and more pangs of overwhelming euphoria. More and more pathetic sounds. I feel elated. Wet, shaky, dizzy, and elated.

As I come down from the climax, her teeth let me go. I look at my body to see massive red teeth marks across my chest. Woah. I try to stand up, but I’m so shaky and filled with pleasure that I immediately fall over. Her tongue takes that as an opportunity to pick me up and bring me towards her lips. Her mouth opens and I am released once again, only this time her tongue slowly angles down so that I slide off into her cupped hands below.

She holds my small and soaked body tenderly as I regain my senses, raising her hands so I’m at eye level. I look at her face and am shocked to see tears falling down rapidly.

“I’m sorry Hazel! I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m s—“

“Hey hey hey! I’m okay! I don’t know what that was, but I feel fine. Good, even!” I try to comfort her, sitting up and gently rubbing her palm with my hand. “Although, I would like to ask…why? Why did you do all this?” Sue me, I wanna know.

Jamie sniffs, the tears not slowing down. “I—I—I’m in love with you, Hazel.”

I freeze, and for a moment my heart stops. I say nothing, and she continues.

“And—and I was too afraid to ask you out or admit my feelings because you’re so…” She looks closely at me now, eyes filled with stars at the sight of me. ME?? “…you. I’ve loved you for a while now; your smile, your voice, your authenticity, your laugh, your jokes, your absolute beauty, even your stupid fucking movie obsession.” I wet chuckle at that, feeling tears falling down my eyes as well. “You are the only person I ever want to love, Hazel…and I ruined it. I got too desperate. I used you. I’m so fucking sorry.”

I stand up now, and gesture for her to move me closer to her face. She complies, and once I’m close enough I rush to hug her cheek. I really start bawling now, so overwhelmed from the affection.

“I—I’ve loved every moment spent with you, Jamie! You’re so fucking smart and funny and sweet and an absolute dumbass. There isn’t a part of you I don’t want to cherish. I…I love you too.” I manage to get out through sobs, feelings I had no idea were there finally coming up to the surface. “To be honest…I didn’t think you’d ever want to be with, well, someone like me.” I step back from her cheek now, wrapping my arms around myself in a pitiful hug.

Jamie bends her head forward, pressing a giant but soft kiss onto my head as I cry. “Oh, Hazel…you know that doesn’t bother me. I mean shit, I watched by your side as you slowly become the person you’ve always wanted to be. It’s admirable! You’ve become so much happier and genuine with yourself. So much prettier. How could I not love you?”

I full on wail at that, and she presses me close to her chest as I sob. The rhythmic beats of her heart slowly calm me down, and my breathing eventually begins to level.

“Do—do you mean that, Jamie?” I clutch her shirt as I brace for the inevitable ‘Just kidding! You’re gross!’

But it never comes.

“Every word, Hazel. I want to love you for the rest of our lives.” She gently takes one of her hands to rub the back of my head as I quietly cry into her shirt.

“So do I.” I manage to get out, and I feel her heart stutter ever so slightly.

“You mean that? Even after…what I did?” Jamie sounds nervous, just as afraid of rejection as I was. But she never has to worry about that. Not with me.

“I do. I really mean it. I could never hate you or leave you. I never want to spend a moment without you in my life.” I press a kiss onto her chest. “Besides, I was into it.” I full on laugh and Jamie can’t help but laugh too.

“Oh and I’m the dumbass?” She holds me even closer to her body, seemingly never letting go any time soon. Good.

When we both stop crying after a while, Jamie is the first to speak again. “So…do you want me to grow you back to normal size?” From a nearby window, I can see it’s dark out now. I am exhausted.

“Can…can I stay like this for the night? Sleep on your chest?” It was an embarrassing request, but I knew she wouldn’t care. She would probably tease me a bit though.

“Awww! You are adorable!” Speak of the devil. “Of course you can stay small tonight…though I think I accidentally swallowed your clothes.” I chuckle at her guilty expression, and resolve to just stay naked to sleep…as long as I can dry off first.

After we both get ready, Jamie lays down in her bed, and I rest in my position next to her heart, her hand serving as a blanket for me. This was an absolutely confusing and…surprising start to our relationship, and I had no idea what the days ahead would bring, but I knew we would figure it out.

I smile as the warmth of her body and pulses of her heart lull me to sleep.

~

Shoutout to my wife @flowers-but-gay for being my smart dumbass and describing how a shrink ray would potentially work only for me to dumb it down 😭

Also shoutout to Eve @specksizedgoddess for brushing the dust off my g/t kink and getting me back into writing

[scarlettjohanssons-mistress]

i was wondering if you could do something g about lorraine broughton having a secret wife and teenage daughter, maybe the daughter is upset and has reckless behavior because lorraine is never around or something and lorraine comfort a her and it’s fluff and angst 🫶 <3

You were never a real mother

Warnings: Fluff, emotional hurt/comfort, angst?

Word count: 2.1 K

Pairing: Lorraine Broughton x Fem!Reader

Prompt: Athena barely knows her mother Lorraine, which annoys her… More when she has to live with her.

Requests: OPEN

[Main masterlist] [Charlize Theron characters masterlist]

The British government could not fully trust the testimony of Lorraine Broughton. If they were completely honest with themselves, they didn't know her at all. And they were absolutely right in the world.

No one knew of Y/N:;not how she met Lorraine; nor how they started dating; nor do they know that both sealed their love with a pair of rings; much less did they know the little girl, fruit of that love.

It was logical that nobody knew those secrets of the blonde woman. The names of those women never left Lorraine's mouth; had never seen a photo of them; she did not even have a representative lake of them with her. Another thing that perpetuated this idea of the loneliness of the blonde was that she was always available for any mission. Nothing in Lorraine's life could get in the way of her work life.

Y/N could understand.

She had met Lorraine on a mission, and she saw firsthand how demanding and dangerous her job could be. But she also saw the blonde's guilty taste for work, not to mention how obsessed and protective she could be. She is capable of anything to protect her family.

But Athena could never understand it.

For as long as she could remember, she always remembered herself longing for the return of her taller mother. She knew, she knew that her blonde mother had missed her first word, her first steps, her first day at school, the time she got chicken pox, when she learned to ride a bike, when she had a fight with her best friend, when the boy she liked rejected her. Lorraine missed everything.

Athena had a lot of resentment towards Lorraine. Athena thought that her life would be a thousand times better if Y/N didn't wait every night for the return of her wife. Athena thought her mother deserved better than the blonde.

——————————————————————————— 

Quickly, the young brunette went downstairs, sitting on a step so she could put on her usual boots.

"Are you going to leave without breakfast?" Athena rolled her eyes, causing her mother to let out a small laugh "don't make that face at me, lady" they both laughed

"No, I'm already late, I'll just take an apple with me" the teenager took an apple from the fruit bowl, washed it and took a bite.

"For God's sake, buy a decent breakfast at school."

"Yes mom" crooned the girl

The woman quickly took her daughter's face to give her small and repetitive kisses on her right cheek.

"I love you, you know"

"Yes mom, I love you too" the girl took her backpack and her keys.

Just before the young woman walked out the door and started listening to music through her headphones, her mother's voice made her stop.

“By the way, I almost forgot. Try to arrive early, tonight mom is coming"

Athena felt the blood drain to her feet.

"What? Is this a fucking joke? Because it's not funny at all, Mom."

Y/N could see the annoyance and discomfort on her daughter's face. She was identical to Lorraine.

"Please, Thena, let's not start…"

"But mom…"

"No buts, go before you're late"

With a final huff, the teenager left, slamming the door.

Y/N knew how the girl might behave when her blonde mother was around.

——————————————————————————— 

The locker was closed with such great force, it easily caused the other students around her to freak out.

"Wow, relax tiger, what has you in such a bad mood on a Friday?"

The sarcastic smile that Alicia kept on her face was only making Athena want to rip it off with a severe blow.

"I'm not in the mood for your shit, Alice."

She tried to escape from the redheaded woman, because she really didn't want to vent her fury on her best friend, but the redheaded woman decided to follow her.

"Oh come on Thena, what could be so bad that you can't take your friend's shit?"

“My problem is Lorraine Broughton”

Alice knew the complicated relationship her friend had with her second mother. She had even tried to persuade her to no start calling her 'Lorraine' instead of 'mother' or 'mama', but she also knew that her friend could be stubborn as a mule.

"Well, Thena, look on the nice side…"

"Al, there's no 'nice' side to this shit."

“Thena, don't say that. It's your mom"

“Listen to me very well Alice, she has NEVER been a mother. She has never cared in the slightest about me or my mom. The fact that her ovum was occupied to bring me into this world does not make her my mother."

Athena left before she could hear any reply from her friend, leaving her speechless and forcing her to follow her to her first class.

It's going to be a hard day, Alice thought.

——————————————————————————— 

Y/N's foot tapped repeatedly on the floor, looking forward to sitting on the couch with the remote control in her right hand and a glass of red wine in her left.

It was already after 8:00 p.m. and there was no sign of her daughter, who normally arrived around 6:00 p.m.

The woman's thoughts stopped when she heard the front door open and close.

She quickly left the glass on the table in the living room and got up to stick her head towards the door.

She found a blonde mane; she was a little longer than when they first met, pretty hands leaving suitcases on the hall floor, and long, sexy legs covered in pretty stockings.

"Oh, it's you"

"Well, that's a very nice way to welcome me, darling" Lorraine teased as she bent down to open her suitcase and take out the gifts she had brought.

“Oh baby, believe me, I'm glad you're here” Y/N quickly hugged her wife's back and spread small kisses on it causing Lorraine to laugh “I'm just worried. Thena has not arrived"

“Let her breathe for a moment Y/N, she's 17, let her be. Stop worrying for a moment and come see what I brought you from Spain”

More interested, Y/N released her wife, who quickly placed before her eyes a package of Serrano ham and a beautiful bottle of Spanish red wine.

“Wow honey, you do have refined tastes” Y/N joked

“That's not the best part.” As if by magic, Lorraine pulled a pearl necklace from her coat pocket.

“Oh honey, they are beautiful. Where…?

"There is a Spanish island where they specialize in pearls" commented the blonde hugging her wife by the waist while they both looked at the jewelry.

"They are perfect. Thank you so much"

“But, the surprises do not end here. Go put on a great dress, my love, because as soon as Athena walks through that door, I'll take you to the best restaurant in town."

"Oh honey, that's not necessary"

“Of course it is necessary. I want to make up to my two girls for being away for almost 6 months”

As if it had been summoned, minutes later the door opened to close again with a loud bang. Without a doubt, it was Athena.

"Sweetie?"

"Yes mom?"

Both women stuck their heads into the hall watching how the girl began to untie the laces of her boots angrily.

"Hi cute"

The teen's head turned so dramatically, both mothers feared the girl had broken her neck.

"What are you doing here?"

"Well honey… I live here"

"Unfortunately…"

"Thena!" yelled Y/N

"You know what? I'm not for this shit" without further ado, Athena left her boots and started running up the stairs.

"Get dressed because we're going to dinner with your mother!" scream y/n

"No!"

"Athena Broughton I'm not playing!"

The teenager did not respond and the only thing that was heard was a loud slam.

"She hates me, right?"

Y/N didn't deign to answer. She didn't want to break her wife's heart, but she also didn't want to lie to her when the truth was right before her eyes.

“You know, maybe you two should go alone to dinner…”

“No, this is for three. I promise, no, I swear that tomorrow Thena and I will have a conversation."

"That soothes my soul a bit" Y/N replied between giggles.

Lorraine laughed too and planted a long, loud kiss on the temple of the black-haired woman.

"I love you"

"I love you much more"

——————————————————————————— 

Athena's leg was bouncing frantically as she listened to the stupid anecdotes of the blonde woman in front of her.

"Thena, honey, stop moving your leg, you make me nervous" Y/N tried to joke

"Can we go now?"

"Honey, we just got here"

"I'm not in the mood to be here…"

"How have you been in school, Thena?" asked Lorraine

"Do you really care?"

"Clearly I care, Athena."

"Well, you have shown the opposite in the last 17 years"

"Athena!"

"Look, Thena, if I've been away for anything, it's so you'll have a bed to rest that ungrateful behind on."

"Lorraine!"

"I never asked you!"

"You didn't have to ask me, it's my obligation!"

"AN OBLIGATION THAT I DID NOT WANT TO GIVE YOU!"

"NOR AN OBLIGATION THAT I WANTED TO HAVE!"

"LORRAINE!"

The teenager got up and quickly left the restaurant.

Lorraine didn't even let Y/N say anything so she too got up and left the restaurant.

She knew it was a bad idea to go after her now. She would leave her alone for a while to go talk to her.

——————————————————————————— 

"I can sit here?" asked Lorraine lightly kicking her daughter's boot. The girl didn't answer and just stepped aside, leaving her a space on the park bench. “Hey honey, I just want to let you know that what I said at the restaurant…isn't what I think at all. I love with all my heart being your mother."

"Don't lie Lorraine, we all know it's not true"

"Why do you think that is not true?"

"You've never been there for me, you don't know how much my mom and I have had to go through alone" Athena didn't realize she had started to cry until she saw the blonde woman and her own tears trying to clean her own " You don't know anything about me, you don't know my friends' names, you don't know which university I want to enter, what's more, I bet you don't even know the day I was born; I don't even remember when was the last time you hugged me."

Lorraine just let the girl cry as she ran her hand over her back. When the girl calmed down, it was time for Lorraine to speak again.

"I'm so sorry you feel that way, Thena" without realizing it, the blonde began to cry "I've never been very good at showing my true emotions; your mother knows very well what that shit is like” she laughed through her tears “not to mention how demanding my job is. I know I'm fucking shitty as a mother, I know that, and really, I'm so sorry" the crying began to intensify "you and your mother deserve someone who spends every fucking second of their lives with you, and your mother,instead I, who with a lot of luck I can come home. I'm sorry, sweet girl” Athena was surprised to feel the woman's arms surrounding her in a hug and feeling the tears on her neck “please don't hate me Thena, you are what I love the most in life. I couldn't live knowing that you hate me."

Athena could hear in her head the thousands of stories her mother told to justify the blonde woman, just like she could hear Alice trying to persuade her friend. She hated that someone else was right.

"I don't hate you, mother, even if I wanted to, I couldn't hate you"

"I would do it"

"You are not helping me"

They both laughed.

“Well, now that we're here,” Lorraine wiped away her tears, smiling in the process, “tell me how school has been. I want to hear it all"

——————————————————————————— 

Y/N's feet carried her around the living room of her house, while her right hand held the phone to her ear.

She had been trying to communicate with her wife or daughter for more than an hour, but none showed signs of life, until she heard laughter at the front door, which opened and closed again.

"Where the hell were they?"

"Calm down mom. We were talking"

"but where?!"

"Calm down baby, you wanted me to improve my relationship with Thena, right? Well, I already did"

"My loves, I am very happy that you are better" she taken both of their cheeks and plant a kiss on both of their cheeks "but you had me extremely worried. So… both of you are completely grounded”

"What?"

"But mom…"

"Shut up Thena"

"You can't grounded me"

"Don't tempt me Lorraine"

Note:

I have to admit I LOVED writing this. Thank you very much, mystery person.

I hope you enjoy it

I appreciate the reblogs, the likes and the comments

taglist: @littlebitchsposts // @xxsekhmet

message me or send an ask to be added to my taglist!

[leclerced]

TW for blood en because i know some people are sensitive to that!!

smth about hitman max being so reluctant to use the knife on her, but as soon as she brings up the idea to carve his initials into her thigh (lightly and safely with a sanitized knife) he just can’t stop fucking thinking about if? the idea that she wants him to do that to her? hot as hell. the fact that she trusts him with her life? hot as hell.

-

🩰

adding read more! tw for knife play.

max didn’t think he had boundaries until she asked him about knife play. he almost said no instantly because he doesn't want to hurt her, but he listened to what she had to say, and then asked if he could think about it. she tells him to take as much time as she needs and that even if he doesn't want to, she's still happy that she asked and trusts him enough to ask. what really convinces him is asking her why she wants him to do it, what about it is appealing. she says she thinks she'll like the pain, knows she'll like seeing his initials on her body, and in a way it shows how much she loves and trusts him to let him to that. he'd tease her about getting it tattooed instead and she's like, why not both?

after he hears all that he researches it and what knives would be best, maybe even asking a few people he trusts if they've ever done it.

almost said he’d do it to himself because he wants to know firsthand what it feels like but hitman!max has been stabbed and cut more times than he can count so he knows how it feels, that’s partially why he doesn’t understand why she wants it so badly, but he means it when he says he’d do anything she asked. he goes out and buys new knives because he doesn't want to use his work knives on her, no matter how clean they might be. he presents them to her as a way of telling her he wants to do it too but she doesn't realize they're for her, assuming they're new weapons. he doesn't usually show her what he uses for work so she's a little confused until he tells her and then she's stripping her pants off for him.

he'd be soo nervous and kiss her thigh so much before he began cutting, apologizing in advance for hurting her and she thanks him for it. he makes her promise to use her safe word if it's too much and she tells him the same which he's surprisingly grateful for, just takes some weight off his shoulders knowing he can stop and she won't be upset. she wants to fuck immediately after, and he nearly gives in but insists on cleaning and bandaging her up first. he starts off super gentle with her, kisses all over her body and over the bandage many extra times while telling her how much he loves her. doesn’t stop until she’s begging for more and he’s happy to give it to her.

[spacedustmantis]

poly pirates thoughts? theyre so important to me!! and i always like to read ur posts abt riptide :]

oughg god! they are so! ok. collecting myself.

obviously they are family. chip is down bad for gillion we know that, also navyseal yuri real and canon. but it goes deeper than that. these people have been by each other's side through all of their development as people. chip going from the bastard pirate to a sensible (if sometimes stupid) adult trying his best to do good by the people he loves, jay coming out of the navy influence and seeing the world for what it is, growing into herself and her freedom, and gillion quite literally learning how to be a person instead of the martyr he was shaped into.

not only have they witnessed all these developments in each other firsthand, but they themselves inspired that change in each other!! they stuck with each other in the beginning when they all kinda sucked in one way or another and thought "these people are worth it". they stuck around until they molded each other into what they were meant to be from the beginning.

my favorite moments where this kinda happens are the ep 15/ep 86 parallels the ep 53/ep 81 parallels and the ep 47/ep 86 parallels.

you have the two different fnc fights where you can see the difference in how they treat and resolve conflicts between then and now. at first there where two issues, being that a) chip refused to understand/respect gillion's traditions and culture and b) gillion did not approach conflict resolution in a productive or healthy manner, not ever having learned how to talk it out. both of these problems are solved by episode 86 where instead of fighting a bloody battle while mad at each other and then being done with it, they actually talk it out first and then fight basically for fun and as a way for chip to show understanding for and honor gillion's traditions. both of these changes have been directly caused by them helping each other be better. chip who's all about talking and gillion who's all about honor learning to meet each other in the middle.

then the block betrayal scene vs the scene where chip threatens to quit piracy. where chip showed so much trust and understanding for jay, where jay was fully convinced that she did not deserve his trust and then later to have those roles be completely reversed! chip knowing that jay doesn't want to betray them, jay knowing that chip doesn't want to quit. they've always had this deep understanding of each other, they can tell exactly what the other is thinking, and though both of them are flawed people they love each other regardless. and they know that people deserve second chances, third chances, fourth chances, if only they try to be better, because they've fucked up in the past, they've both been on the wrong side of history. they look at each other and see a mirror image. however it took chip 80 episodes to be vulnerable while it took jay 80 episodes to talk candidly about how much she loves and admires chip.

and finally the talks between jay and gillion in edison kingdom and just before the second fnc fight. how gillion shows this massive amount of respect for jay's autonomy and trust in her choice. how he encourages her to choose for herself not for anyone else. and then later how jay tries to talk gillion out of literally letting someone kill him, consistently putting himself in harms way for everyone else. and it doesn't quite work but she shows so much respect for his autonomy as well the way she tells him that it's his choice what he does, and same as gillion told, her she tells him to act for himself, to stop being so selfless. and also since jay has such high respect for gillion's choices she has to be urged to even talk to him about this in the first place. not because she doesn't care about him letting himself get harmed but because their relationship is built on trusting that the other's choices are their own. it shows how much more open jay has become, how gillion stopped seeing himself separate from everyone else. how his initial advice to act selfishly is being thrown back at him and how he (with some trouble) finally accepts it.

they bicker and fight but they are oh so tender with each other when it counts and they love each other so much and their love shows in everything they do. in the ferociousness with which chip defends his crew, in the way jay stands by her newfound family over her old one, in the way gillion trains for months just to be able to protect them better (sentinel feat you will always be famous).

they literally belong together, do not separate.

[provincara]

The Long Run by James Acker

Two track and field athletes find an unexpected but powerful love in this unapologetically blunt and unforgettably real YA debut.

Sebastian Villeda is over it. Over his rep. Over his bros. Over being "Bash the Flash," fastest sprinter in South Jersey. His dad is gone, his mom is dead, and his stepfather is clueless. Bash has no idea what he wants out of life. Until he meets Sandro.

Sandro Miceli is too nice for his own good. The middle child in an always-growing, always-screaming Italian family, Sandro walks around on a broken foot to not bother his busy parents. All he wants is to get out and never look back.

When fate—in the form of a party that gets busted—brings these two very different boys together, neither of them could’ve predicted finding a love that they’d risk everything for…

God where to even start. I fucking loved this book—I finished it last night, and I'm spending the day depressed because I'm no longer listening to it (audiobook). I took so many notes while reading this, and there were only a few minor critiques. Otherwise I was doing my best to put into words why I love this story so much.

The tagline for this book describes it as "unapologetically blunt and unforgettably real," which I think is spot on. It wasn't a sometimes-sad romance novel, but rather a story about two flawed yet earnest boys who better themselves (and FEEL better about themselves) with the help of each other. Yes it's a romance, but I love the platonic elements of the relationship so much; they truly become each other's best friend, and you can see how important their relationship is to each of them.

We get a dual POV in this book, and it was so expertly deployed. There's quite a lot of introspection (which I always enjoy in a novel), so we get firsthand accounts of how each character is feeling, but we also get to see them through the eyes of each other; we get to know their insecurities, but also get to see their strengths and value. Both Bash and Sandro are pretty self-aware, and I don't know how realistic that is for teenage boys, but it doesn't matter because it's all so good. And just because they're self-aware doesn't mean they're perfect; we get to see them make mistakes and learn and grow. There were plenty of times between them that the conversation could have gone south, but instead they are able to trust each other and talk it out.

Of course, though, there is one moment that goes very wrong and takes a while to come back from, but it was realistic. I feel like the tendency for authors nowadays is to throw in third-act drama whether it's deserved or not, but that wasn't the case here; the events fit the narrative of the story (it's pretty clear from early on that this book will have the potential for something heart-wrenching). Also, we got plenty of recovery time after it—I always hate when the story ends right after the conflict has been resolved, but here we got to spend a good amount of time with them afterwords.

This book just made me feel so much! Not just sad, but also hopeful. While I love both boys in this, I was a bit partial to Sandro, and he was the one who often made me cry (both sad and happy tears). Even though he had a shitty upbringing, he was still so optimistic about his future being better and working hard to make that better future, and it was just so lovely to read about and I'm literally tearing up while thinking about it. The ending was perfect for them, realistic yet hopeful, kind of like the whole story itself. I was fully sobbing when I finished, because I was just so overcome with emotion.

Besides the main story, I think the side characters were all very well crafted and utilized. Lucy was especially such a lovely figure, and I wish we had gotten to spend a bit more time with her (just because I like her, not because she wasn't around enough for the purpose of the story). And the writing was also top tier. I know I've gone on about how emotional this book was, but it had a good amount of lighthearted moments. And good humor! It got me to chuckle out loud a few times, which is unusual for me—it helped that I listened to the audiobook, so I couldn't accidentally skim ahead and spoil the joke for myself.

Speaking of the audiobook, MAD KUDOS to the readers for this!!!! I think they were absolutely perfect, right away settling me into the story and perfectly delivering the more emotional moments.

This is one of those books that I think a lot of other books try to be: gritty, realistic, emotional, heart-wrenching, inspiring, etc. But this one was actually able to pull it off. And while it is grittier than some, I didn't find it to be too much. Like I said, there was a good balance of humor, so it was never a heavy read, even with it's heavier moments. Frankly, I'm a bit stunned that this isn't more popular, because it deserves more readers. I simply cannot wait to revisit this book in the future (no literally, I'm actually considering re-listening to it while I still have it on loan from Libby).

Bonus spoilers—specific moments that made me cry:

Sandro thinking "I think I was supposed to love Bash" after the whole Incident with his family (sad)

Their first date, getting ready and getting their picture taken and being able to be public with their affection (happy)

When Bash gives Sandro his prayer bracelet and then Sandro gives Bash his chain, so they have something to remember each other by when they go off to college (sad and happy and everything in between)

[constantineshots]

okay so this is just a rant ( long. i am sorry if it is jumbled ) on justice leagu dark but specifically the new 52 run. because i don't have an issue with the rebirth run. but seeing as milligan started off the new 52 run, can anyone be surprised i don't like it.

never really understood how in justice league dark and whenever john is on a team in general. when people know he's a bit selfish when things look like they are not going to work in his favor/look hopeless in general and he gets the fuck out of there or does something to benefit himself. and everyone knows he consistently does this. yet they are like "what the fuck john. we trusted you." after giving him shit because they didn't trust him or didn't want him on the team. like guys.

for example, zatanna. she knows firsthand he's a dipshit from her last experiences and prior to new 52, she's kinda kept away from him. and honestly? you go, girl. get that toxicity out of your life if you find him to be toxic to you. but i don't like the way she's written in the initial jld because it's always "where's john" ( and, vice versa to shove the john/zatanna concept in our faces, john being all up zatanna's ass, which i personally feel does not do their characters justice. if you want to ship them, let them be them. show me why they work. not shove the "they're in love with one another" in my face and give me... dried out, squeezed sponges of their characters with absolutely zero substance. though maybe i just didn't like the writers for new 52 jld ( though the newer run is more enjoyable! zatanna feels more like herself ) because i don't think they wrote anyone well. sorry for the random tangent here ). zatanna is supposed to be intelligent. people look to her. so why would she consistently place her trust in a man she knows is going to hurt her and the team? then get angry with him for acting human even though he keeps saying he's not a hero and he will do anything to save his skin then people keep REPEATING IT AND THEN EVERYONE JUST GETS MAD AT HIM WHEN HE DOES EXACTLY THAT.

no, this is not just about zatanna. this can extend to deadman and everyone else as well, and the others, but i had the image in my mind if her quite literally yanking him from the bathtub and throwing him out of the bathroom and into a wall when she eventually took the house of mystery again because john left them all.... as he typically does.

overall, i think the initial justice league dark run was written terribly. like. astronomically bad. i don't even know why john led that team. i don't know why john was involved. i don't know why it had anything to do with argus. the newer run? with upside down man and stuff? okay, that i'm alright with. but i can quite honestly say that the writing in justice league dark new 52 was absolutely terrible AND OF COURSE IT WAS BECAUSE MILLIGAN WAS FIRST. i think it set the tone for the series and honestly it may be my own personal biases against him that clouds my judgement, but i hated the initial run. i think everything happened too fast, then shit started making absolutely no sense, and honestly, the most interesting thing that happened was whatever was going on with nightmare nurse.

okay, so. necro. unneeded. what was the point of nick necro. genuinely. to get john and zee together when they already have history but instead of allowing them to keep that history, it gets shit on for the sake of john seeing zee on stage and being like "wowza" and then having some weird competition with necro initially, just to lead to necro being? what, upset? at one point? i am so confused. like john and zee are kissing and zee apologizes to necro, and then he's like "eugh. i knew about you two. blah blah blah" like? he's not important to me. i don't care about him. why couldn't john and zee have just been together this guy literally solves very little plot purpose. even when he shows up later on. like dude. who ARE you.

anyways. anyways! that's my rant. just on random things. LIKE I DON'T KNOW WHY PETER MILLIGAN WAS ALLOWED TO PUT HIS GRUBBY FUCKING HANDS NEAR JOHN AGAIN BUT WHATEVER.

is any of this even canon anymore? i hope not.

[cityandking]

what was daichi's last thought before he exploded?

what is minah's current opinion on her party members?

has anticlea doubted her decision to join the party at any point since seeing what we're diving into?

1. what was daichi's last thought before he exploded?

Saying sorry to Zaref was absolutely and entirely his last thought. He was dead (ha) set on the choice, and he'd made his peace with everything else there was to make peace with—it was the right decision as far as he was concerned (sorry ozy)—but he was sorry to leave Zaref behind and sorrier to make him watch.

2. what is minah's current opinion on her party members?

CIAN — She likes him! He's a Good Kid and she's mostly just sorry he's caught up in all of this. She also thinks he needs protecting—not because he's weak, just because there are some powerful people after him—and she's willing to go that extra little bit to keep him safe (and the party by extension, but mostly it's about Cian—she's a little sorry to shock him so horribly with the recent deaths, especially Ilyan. not enough to not do it, just enough to have that tinge of regret for any lost trust or companionship) RHYDIAN — He reminds her of herself when she was around his age—the hurt, the aimlessness, the way he seems to keep making choices without the time to think them through. The dead dad thing tugs at her heartstrings (different situations, but she can relate to the enormity of that loss and the specter it leaves behind). She'd like to see him find a little peace and happiness—I think it would make her feel better about her own situation (she figures she's a lost cause, but at least the kid can make a better life for himself) RIYA — Minah has definitely softened on Riya over the past week or so. She's still definitely uncomfortable with the whole nobility thing (and I don't imagine that'll change), but a) seeing her Go Through It and b) working together to Fuck Up The Circle has eased some of that discomfort. I don't know how long it'll last—Minah gets squirrelly about displays of wealth and power and doesn't like getting involved in that, which makes her eager to put distance between herself and Riya most of the time—but for now I think they're enjoying a little camaraderie than they were previously, and Minah doesn't totally hate it. Progress! LEO — It's complicated. On the one hand, Leo's willingness to turn immediately to torture is very much Not Minah's Thing (she's squeamish and doesn't like getting her hands dirty) so the finger-breaking and the inclusion of Minah in that interrogation by way of the Devil's Dust threat was really uncomfortable for her and kind of gave her pause about Leo on the whole (murder the Knight-Vigilant really didn't help). On the other hand, he's her training buddy and she just slit a man's throat and involved him in the lie she told about why she did it (and trusted that he'd support her on it), so in a way he's the one she trusts most at the moment. It's weird. The trust is there and so is the distrust. She's trying not to think too hard about it

3. has anticlea doubted her decision to join the party at any point since seeing what we're diving into?

Not at all! For one she's apparently chomping at the fuckin' bit for a new adventure (rip grandma) and for another she knows firsthand what it is to lose someone to the abyss and there's no world where she would turn away such an earnest and well-meant plea for help. If anything she's having more fun than she has any right to (rip grandma x2)

[bylertruther]

If I am guessing your cryptic question right, stonathan or steddie? Which one do I prefer? See more chemistry in? Is that it?

I saw more chemistry between Steddie honestly. Maybe because Eddie was openly flirty and Steve was flustered most of the time around him.

Stonathan - I don't see the chemistry that much because Jon did beat him up for insulting his family and him. Even though Steve came to apologise, it was more like a formality rather than a stepping stone to friendship. They could have been friends, but they didn't. For Jon, Steve is an immature idiot that he fought one time.

I have read one Stonathan fic and I couldn't see the chemistry there. It was a nice fic, but the chemistry was missing, I felt. But the Steddie fics have chemistry.

Jon honestly has more chemistry with Argyle than Steve.

I would love to hear your thoughts, Denise.

mmmmmm my lawyer told me to tell you tht i can neither confirm nor deny these assumptions but tht i Can reply to u otherwise <3 so hiii, anon 👋

that's fair. s1 jonathan and steve are works in progress for sure and then they drift apart again as their connections to nancy change. i do think that jancy's talk at the end can be interpreted as a hint that they'll interact again though, allowing jonathan to see firsthand what nancy meant, so maaaaaybe smth of some sort will happen there? who knows lol.

but! i do think that the apology was more than a formality. steve was really intent on going over there and making things right, he really felt like he'd fucked up and he wasn't expecting nancy to be there. he went for jonathan and really wanted to make things right with him. there was a desperate kind of sincerity there i felt in joe's portrayal. and then he seemed really pleased when jonathan received his gift later on! so, like. yk. i think jonathan's the one holding more resentment / preconceived notions than steve rn, which is understandable considering he doesn't know him like that, and why i think they planted tht seed i mentioned at the end there. there could still be more to them and i think there likely is!

tbh though i feel like i'd need more scenes with them to be able to say anything abt their chemistry on-screen. i get more ✨⚡️ from steve for those reasons tht i mentioned than i do jonathan rn. jonathan has had his defenses up too high n been too cold thus far, n charlie really sells tht n jon's trust issues lol. maybe it'll change in s5, maybe it won't.

as for steddie... i feel like you can say some of the same things? they became kind of friends towards the end there because eddie went to go save him and they had that little bonding moment where eddie opened up to him and got in his good graces. also... i feel like eddie's actions can be taken that way, but he's also a touchy-feely invades-your-personal-space kind of dude with other characters too. and i didn't really feel any electricity or interest there from steve's side, kind of the opposite of the stonathan situation. like joe wasn't leaning into what people believe joseph was.

it felt like interactions between a heroic jock who aggravatingly really is more than what people say and a freak who's had to puff his chest up n act tougher than he really is to survive, and how they navigate that as young men. like actually tough vs pretends to be. and there's a a kind of sheepishness on eddie's side where the freak who talks abt how others are so quick to judge n be hostile is now being saved n helped n treated well by someone tht he did all of tht to, this kind of ... ingratiating n dare i say submissive mannerisms tht i think ppl read as just flirting.

and then steve's mostly just there, taking this in and occupying the same space as him, more focused on the others, but still wanting to be nice n give his thanks bc he's just that guy n does it with everyone. he's chuffed tht eddie's blowing smoke up his ass, but i don't view him as being bewitched. when did you find steve to be flustered? i'd like to go back and watch, maybe i'll see it this time :)

jargyle my beloved 💚 i think it helps tht argyle is jonathan's friend, so there's naturally going to be this easygoing flow between them tht wouldn't be present in his scenes with steve. i think they play off each other wonderfully, but.. hm. idk. there's chemistry yes bc they definitely sell that safe harbor you're my only friend ride or die kind of relationship, but it's not like ... tht Charged kind of chemistry, if tht makes sense?

thank u for answering :)

[a-lady-in-shining-armour]

I am just not having as much fun on this website anymore. I used to enjoy all the really interesting articles and studies that people would share and discuss, but that’s really dropped off. I lot of the normal women on here used to drop some great common sense content about everyday things like the ‘second shift’ and the expectations of being gender conforming etc that once you notice you see it everywhere. Now most radblr bloggers are as terminally online as any bun-gender person and everything is interpreted in bad faith with overly emotional call outs peppered with emotive buzzwords.

I’m so sick of logging on to see such out of touch takes as ‘expecting me to ever be in a public space with a baby is misogyny’ and the sequel ‘criticising abstinence only sex education is homophobic’.

Some of you need a reality check so here it is:

You are not an activist (necessarily obviously that might be your day job) you are a tumblr blogger engaging in social media for entertainment.

Most of you are not wise sages educating young grasshoppers girls about how having a baby might effect their career (no shit Sherlock) or that domestic violence can exist in heterosexual relationships (is it their first day on earth?). This is basic common knowledge especially for women interested in feminism, you really are preaching to the converted on this topic and it’s annoying as hell when you act like we might not have ever thought about it. Most of us are successful adult women, we know at least the basics about the risks of motherhood and marriage (often first hand) and it’s offensive for some random stranger to tell us that they (and only they) have all the right answers to some of the biggest issues in world for women. Basically, we are all peers here and not one of you has any real authority over anyone else.

The decision whether to have a long term relationship with a man and/or have children (and who you do this with) is The most serious and important decision in most woman’s lives. This is so commonly acknowledged that I have talked about it with my Mum, my Grandma, my sister, my friends, and even some work colleagues. It’s the focus of so many fiction and non fiction books, and in my opinion female anxiety about these choices that disproportionately effect women is why the entire romance genre exists! Our teachers had discussions about it in class and I remember wondering if I really wanted children when I grew up as young as 12. Such an important decision is something that is not taken lightly by any woman (feminist or not) and will never be decided on the advice from online strangers. It’s especially galling that some of the most condescending and demanding bloggers on this topic also post things that reveal that they are young and lack life experience. Obviously that doesn’t mean they’re wrong, but it definitely means they have no right to talk down to women old enough to be their mothers that often have firsthand experience with what to them is political theory.

The risks of heterosexual relationships are well known, I mean who the fuck has never heard of domestic violence by adolescence? If a woman interested enough in gender critical or radical feminism to blog about it in her spare time decides to enter an intimate relationship with a man and/or have children with him it won’t be because she’s ignorant about domestic violence or how hard child rearing can be. I trust myself and other women to make hard choices and manage risks in our own lives.

It is entirely possible for individuals to know and understand the same information and still make different choices. Someone disagreeing with you or making different decisions does not necessarily mean that one of you is right and the other one is stupid. That style of black and white thinking is unhelpful and untrue, people’s opinions and decisions depend on the individual circumstances of their life, about which you know next to nothing. It’s beyond time to retire the smug ‘I always know best’ attitude and acknowledge the shades of grey.

[daylander1000]

I don’t want to say that I disagree with the last anon (I don’t, i want that fluff too 😭) but I think what’s happening is very much in line with what we’ve seen of their relationship before in your fic. As kids, they kind of always verbally kept each other at arms’ length and even at such young ages (which wow. absolutely wild how the world had hurt them so young that walls started coming up at 8 and 9 years old) It’s understandable that at 16-18 they wouldn’t be the most talkative in that regards. I think Aemond’s POV (which their first meeting mostly was in) shows just how deeply insecure he really is, and how he truly held onto Rhaena as the only thing he could’ve ever really relied on to make him feel okay, while Rhaena, while I won’t say she’s completely moved on or anything, has understood and accepted change. To me, they seem like that whole “If I loved you less, i might be able to talk about it more.” or saving all the reverent stares and lovesick smiles for when the other looks away IDK sorry for rambling i just have so many thots

Lolol, no need to apologize. We all want the fluff. Sometimes I'm sitting writing and reminding myself "Hey, come on, keep this fun."

For me, it's not that she's moved on from their friendship but she's moved on from the idea of looking to Aemond (and his mum) to "rescue" her because she's at a point where she fully appreciates the danger and risk of being on the wrong side of her father.

While Aemond was studying the sword, she was getting a 7(?)-year post grad certificate in Daemyra Behavioral Psychology. She's seen firsthand how her mother, Harwin and Laenor's entire lives are disregarded and she doesn't want to be added to the jetsam/flotsam.

Aemond's still someone with a mother, a Criston, a grandfather, a granny dragon, older siblings in line to be the next king and queen... He was hurt and he's aware that he's on the expendable end of the Targ spectrum, but he's still protected in an enmeshed, 'circle the wagons' sort of way.

Rhaena's living the opposite of that enmeshed family dynamic. Estranged sister, dead mother, father was bad to begin with, worse now that he has his dream family, her grandfather is a Luke Stan, so she's in "Sinnerman, where you gonna run to?" mode.

Running to Aemond's wagon circle isn't a great idea cause that's not safe at all. Asking him to leave his wagon circle to ride out for her is 1,000% riskier. Hell, she's not even sure how circling the wagons are supposed to work because she's never had it done for her. She's seeing them do it around Luke tho, positioning hers and Baela's wagons to take the hits, so she's kind of like "fuck wagons in general. I'm going independent."

But of course to Aemond, that's like "Did she just totally reject the safest, most well organized wagon circle in all of Westeros? Is it because of that one single time I weak-linked it? Wtf do I do with this second wagon with your name on it? Sell it, like some kind of wagon-salesman to a pilgrim doing last minute wagon shopping???"

(he's left it a little late in the war game to start making allies and planning a power marriage with another family)

I mean, in the past and at this point, it's more of a proposal for her safety rather than a sign of any undying love, lol. And she's saying, "I'd rather take my chances with a non-prince who doesn't have a dragon who I've never even met before than you" so there's no way not to take that personally when he's out there training with Criston to work past his disability and make something of himself every way he knows how. That's worse than "I don't want to marry you." That's "you're incompetent/you're gonna get me killed/I don't trust you with my life or anything at all."

I actually had a happy reunion chapter written and drafted on AO3 just ready to be published. Real Swan Princess like, but I rewrote the entire thing to add some friction because they were hardly on the same page as children so it made sense for the gap to widen a bit.

Wasted time, but yeah.

I felt this version was a touch on the cruel side but I truly didn't mean it to be. Just wanted to emphasize that she's lost some of that easy friendliness and ability to communicate with people properly after getting out of her Shawshank sentence.

[rocorambles]

Ruined Innocence

Pairing: Fallen Angel!Daichi x Angel!Reader

Genre/Warnings: Yandere, NSFW, Manipulation, Dub-Con/Non-Con, Tentacles-ish, Forced Bondage, Corruption Kink, Dacryphilia

Summary: Not everyone is what they appear to be and you learn that the hard way.

A/N: This is for @seijorhi 's Deal with the Devil Collab! Masterlist can be found here.

You don’t love the way older angels endearingly pinch your cheeks and fondly ruffle the top of your head, sending you off on your way as they go about their chores. But you love the freedom to explore that comes with your new wings and you flit around heaven, adventuring out to the corners of the beautiful realm, eyes sparkling and mouth open wide in wonder as you see visions and scenes you wouldn’t even have been able to imagine back when you were a human.

Most angels congregate with each other, floating and meandering together as they perform their heavenly duties, content with harmony and unity. But maybe because your newly purified soul is still finding its way, you feel antsy, a very human adventurous streak still driving you as you sniff out remote and quiet corners, eager to see what’s around every corner.

There’s not a hint of wariness or sense of danger as you trek around, squealing as you continue testing your wings. Maybe it’s naivety, but who can blame you? You’re in heaven. Why would you ever think anything or anyone would harm you here?

Little do you know the archangels whisper to each other, sentries standing guard at every known opening between realms as the threat of warfare and espionage increases between heaven and hell after a devastating betrayal by one of God’s own most trusted archangels.

Sawamura Daichi.

It’s a name and a face that God has striked from heaven’s history, wiping the minds of anyone outside his inner circle clear of to maintain peace among the realm. And it works. Maybe too well.

A handsome brunette amusedly smiles at the lack of fear and recognition in your face as you cheerfully greet him, not a care in the world as you perk up and fly over to him, curious about the strange angel you’ve never met before.

Daichi had only meant to sneak in and out, hopefully spy and return back to hell with any secret information he could get out of his old fellow archangels. But like an attuned predator, his attention had snapped at the pretty little fawn he had seen playing in the outskirts of heaven, so vulnerable, so far from the rest of your feathery flock. And his mouth had salivated, something dark and yearning inside of him as he imagined how delicious corrupting your soft and sweet soul would be.

There’s no lack of powerful, beautiful, sensual female entities in hell willing to warm his bed. Daichi knows from firsthand experience, rarely spending a night alone. Even eternity is too short not to indulge in the sins of the flesh. But a part of him misses the docile submissive natures of angels, the thrill of power he feels knowing how easily his more angelic partners would listen and obey to his every whim and fancy. Playing with your food is all fun and games, but Daichi’s always found the actual act of devouring to be the best part of any meal. And you look absolutely mouth watering.

It doesn’t concern you that you’ve never seen this handsome angel before. Heaven is vast and as a novice angel, you’re sure there’s plenty of feathery companions you haven’t met yet. You’re more pleasantly surprised by the fact that there even is another angel in your secluded nook of the realm. And you’re quick to get comfortable with Daichi (although you blush when he so quickly tells you to call him by his first name).

He’s kind and funny. You can tell he’s actually listening to your every word and not just politely nodding like most of the other older angels you’ve met so far. He has a certain vibrancy to him that you can’t pinpoint, something so much more raw and vivid than what you’re used to from the more austere and demure palette of the rest of heaven.

But you startle when Daichi suddenly reaches out and slowly trails his fingers along the soft velvety plush of your wings, eliciting a startled gasp from you and a strange stirring feeling inside of you.

“They’re so pure and white.”

You try to laugh off the way your heart is pounding, the way your body wants to instinctively lean in closer to his warm touch as he continues languidly stroking your wings.

“Don’t be silly, Daichi. I’m sure your wings are just as pure and white, just like everyone else in this realm.”

You’re confused by his silent smile as he continues lacing his fingers between your downy feathers, but you don’t think to question it, not when it feels so right to just melt in the soothing feeling.

You don’t know how much time has passed, but you startle awake when someone nudges you, face heating in embarrassment when you realize you’ve fallen asleep quite literally in Daichi’s arms. But you shyly smile when he waves off your profuse apologies, playfully whispering that you can make it up to him by keeping your meeting with him a secret so he doesn’t get in trouble for slacking off on work to hang out with you.

Your lips are sealed and in return for your slightly naughty deal, your heart warms and your eyes sparkle when he somehow finds you almost every day. You’re tempted to make a game of it, wondering if you made more of an effort to hide if he’d still find you. But somehow deep inside you know he would, that it wouldn’t deter him at all. And that thought alone brings a smile to yourself.

Is this what having a soulmate feels like? Do angels even have soulmates?

You know marriage is still a thing in this realm and you can feel yourself falling more and more head over heels for Daichi, letting yourself dream and think of what life would be like married to him, by his side for all of eternity. It would be a wondrous thing. A life full of adventures, laughter, kindness, and warmth. A life where you know you could always depend on him and trust him.

So when he kisses you one day, wrapping his strong arms around you and pulling you in close, you don’t resist. Instead you sigh in bliss as you feel your lips meld against each other. He’s so gentle, so careful as he deepens your connection, coaxing you into following his lead as he maneuvers the two of you on the wispy cloud cocoon beneath your feet.

You feel so loved, so taken care of as he murmurs sweet praises in your ear about how beautiful you are, how soft you are, how sweet you taste. But when you find yourself horizontal beneath him, scandalously molded to his body, hesitation and apprehension have you reluctantly separating your lips.

“What’s wrong?”

His hand cups your cheek, brown eyes staring down at you in concern and you feel more at ease as you nuzzle against his palm, gently pecking the center of it, ignorant of the way brown eyes darken at the action.

He’s going to fucking ruin you.

“Can we- Can we slow down a bit? I love you, but we shouldn’t go any further until God blesses our relationship and we’re married. Right?”

It’s adorable how you know what’s right by heavenly standards, what you should and shouldn’t be doing. Yet there’s still a questioning lilt in your voice as you look at him for guidance, ready to take his lead and listen to whatever he says. You really are precious, aren’t you?

“We’ll be together forever. So what’s the harm in indulging ourselves now if we know that we’ll be bound for eternity anyway? Consider it a little sneak peek. Surely God will be forgiving if we go straight to him after this and ask him to bless our union.”

Hook. Line. Sinker.

He internally smirks at how your eyes light up when he expresses his desire to be with you. To his defense, it’s not a lie. He truly does want you with him forever, although he doubts it’s in the way you’re thinking. He’s no mind reader, but he can imagine the scenes of soft radiant glowing days and peaceful strolls hand in hand that race through your mind when you think of love. Unfortunately for you, the reality you’re being sucked into is much darker and much more stationary. (He sincerely hopes you appreciate the costs and efforts he’s gone through to spruce up his bedroom and bed as much as possible for your long-term stay considering it’s the only place he intends for you to see for at least a few centuries.)

This time you welcome him when he swoops down to capture your lips once more, your arms gently wrapping around the back of his neck as you pull him down even closer to you. You bare your neck, easily following his silent commands as he trails kisses down from the corner of your lips to the side of your neck, gasping and arching into him when his tongue swipes a hot wet line at the junction of your shoulder.

You’re nervous as he coaxes you out of your delicate clothing and his cock twitches in interest at how you try to instinctively shield your body from his eyes, your arms crossing your chest, thighs clenching together. So different from the shameless females down below and he enjoys how it feels like he’s unwrapping an exclusive present as he eases your body, comfortingly kissing you as he guides your hands above your head and nudges your legs apart until he’s in between them.

You moan, writhing underneath him in a way that makes him groan as he sucks one of your nipples, rolling the other between his fingers. And he can’t resist how right it feels to grind and rut his clothed cock against your bare core, chuckling at how you whine and get flustered as he whispers to you about how wet you are, how much of a mess you’re making of his clothing.

You’re so sensitive, so reactive. He wonders if you could cum just like this, nipples toyed with and humping like wild beasts. You certainly look like you’re almost there and a mean smile splays across his face when he wonders what God would think if he saw his baby angel now, a lewd blissful expression blatant on your face, wanton moans filling the air. But time is limited especially when he’s not on his own turf and as much as he’d like to ruin you over and over again right here, right now, he knows he needs to deal the final blow.

He’s quick to shed his own clothing, firmly wrapping your spread legs around him as he finally sinks his cock inch by inch inside of you, throwing his own head back in pleasure as your tight wet walls wrap around him, eagerly sucking him in and clenching around him. It’s like you were made for him, made for this. And his eyes ravenously watch as you mindlessly blabber on and on about feeling full, feeling good.

He doesn’t usually like noisy bed mates, but you might be the one exception and he revels in your wails and broken cries as he begins to move his hips back and forth, observing how his fat cock obscenely stretches your pretty folds as he thrusts in and out. It’s impressive how you’re still hanging by a single fraying strand of consciousness when even seasoned succubi have succumbed into mindless pleasure-addicted messes from his cock. And he gifts the slipping clarity of your mind that recognizes him and calls his name over and over again with skillful circles around your clit, relentless until you’re thrashing and convulsing, practically screaming as you fall over the edge, pussy milking him and begging for his essence.

Who is he to deny you what your body wants? What your body needs? What he himself wants and needs?

So he finally lets himself go, sealing the deal with his own release, eyes twinkling in crazed amusement as his own wings finally flair out, revealing themselves to you for the first time as his body lances with pleasure. A sound halfway between a laugh and a groan escapes him as fear has you tightening around him and if he thought you looked beautiful before, you’re absolutely stunning now, shock and disbelief slicing across your perfect angelic face when you fully grasp the importance of his pitch black wings that shadow the both of you.

“Don’t be like that, sweetheart. I thought you loved me.”

There’s no point in pretending to be gentle now and he forcefully pins your body down, slamming his lips against yours in a bruising kiss, biting on your lower lip and lapping at the blood that drips from your now marred face. Delicious. So fucking exquisite.

It’s tempting to continue and as he pulls away to regard you, he can feel arousal swirling inside of him at the sight of glistening tears streaming down your face. But he’s curious about your reaction, eager to hear what you have to say about this utter betrayal.

“A fallen angel…I slept with a fallen angel. How am I ever going to face God now?”

You’re not even looking at him anywhere, eyes glazed over as you mumble to yourself, mind still trying to process everything. And as pretty as you are with agony and sickening realization settling into your features, he scowls at the mention of God, irritation swelling inside of him at how fast you are to think of Him over Daichi, the fallen angel literally still inside of you.

He’s swift in his punishment, reminding you exactly where you are and who you’re with right now as he sharply juts his hips in a way that forces a surprised shriek from you as his cock rubs against your still sensitive walls.

“God isn’t your problem anymore, love. Look at your wings.”

Every part of you still in denial screams at you not to listen, to pretend none of this has happened, is happening. You want to believe God can make this right, that he’ll surely forgive you. But as if you’re in one of those inevitable horror films you used to watch as a human, your head slowly turns to the side, body going rigid when you see the expanse of ebony feathers where heavenly white used to be.

Now this reaction is much more satisfying and Daichi inhales your fear, a cold smile on his face as he watches you flail, wings wildly flapping as you try to somehow shake off the color, praying that it’s all a lie, that it’s not entirely irreversible. But he pins your wrists above your head when you attempt to painfully pluck out your own offensive feathers, peppering humiliatingly affectionate kisses all over your face to placate you.

“Please stop. Isn’t this enough? You got what you wanted. Tricked the silly angel. Made me an exile, a monster. There’s no place for me in heaven anymore. So just leave me alone. Please.”

You shudder at the dark laugh that seems to echo in your ears with his face right besides yours, cringing when you feel his wings droop down to rest against your own in an action far too intimate for what the two of you are.

“It’s not enough, darling. It’ll never be enough. But you’re right about one thing. You’re no longer welcomed in heaven, so let me bring you to your new home.”

You barely have time to understand the meaning of his words before you’re being whisked away, strong arms holding you tightly to a broad chest, the air around you growing darker, heavier, warmer. And then suddenly everything is still and you gasp as you’re thrown onto a silky plush surface, scrambling to sit up only to freeze in terror as you take in the grand and imposing bedroom you’re in, cold realization of exactly whose bed you’re currently on and what realm you’re in sinking in.

“No no no no no...At least let me go to Earth!”

You make to lunge off the bed, but an eerily familiar body forces you back down, once comforting brown eyes now only making anxiety churn alarmingly inside of you.

“I know it’s hard to believe me after all the lies, but I wasn’t lying about one thing. I do intend to be with you forever, so get comfortable, angel.”

You recoil at the mocking sneer associated with the pet name, the ironic use of the word disintegrating any fight left in you when the true hopelessness of your situation makes itself known. And Daichi watches in satisfaction at how you don’t even twitch as black shadows coil around your wrist and ankles, pulling you into a spread-eagled position, leaving your beautiful naked figure on full display for him.

But as despondent as you are mentally and emotionally, your body is already well on its way to adjusting and molding to his desires and he hungrily eyes the way it betrays you, arching and silently begging for more as additional shadow tendrils snake their way on and around every inch of you, some tendrils beginning to make their way in your gaping mouth, your still cum-filled hole, and oh...maybe he should have warned you that he planned on training all your holes, but he does so love the way your eyes blow wide open when a curios tendril wiggles its way into your puckered hole.

“Consider this your new full-time job, angel. Can’t have you living here rent-free after all. Now be good while I’m away and try not to be so loud. Wouldn’t want anyone else to hear you and decide they want a taste of a new fallen angel. I guarantee you no one else down here in hell is going to be as patient and kind as I am. Welcome to your new forever home.”

He doesn’t wait for a response, not that you’d be able to utter anything remotely intelligible around your screams and moans and the tendrils fucking your mouth. And as he makes his way to another meeting with Satan, he proudly flaunts his pitch black wings, a thoughtful smile on his face as he thinks of all the plans he has for you.

[anon-e-miss]

AU where Jazz runs a TON of charge. It takes ten spike overloads to satisfy him, and he doesn’t have a refractory period. After ten overloads in a row, he tends to go utterly feral—as if he’s in rut. Just mounting and clawing and biting and rutting away until he finally knots his partner and blacks out. This is only occasionally a problem, because basically no one can handle getting him off ten times in a row anyway.

Prowl, SiC, sees how this endless charge is impacting Jazz’s work (and quality of life). He has a crush, but he tells himself that’s not his motivating factor. Jazz needs someone he can trust to see him to blackout. Someone who won’t tap out three overloads in. Someone who won’t judge him for getting increasingly desperate and feral and possessive as he frags them.

Jazz maybe thinks no one could tolerate that kind of behavior. He might feel ashamed of the fantasy he has of ruthlessly fucking someone completely helpless. Someone who trusts him. (Possibly someone who would trust him enough to knowingly drink drugged energon hand fed to them)

Fortunately for him, Prowl thinks that fantasy is HOT AS A SMELTER.

Time for Jazz to finally get some satisfaction.

Despite the war ravaging the planet, Cybertron was seeing a mixing of frametypes like never before. It was by in large a positive as cultures that once stood well apart rubbed one side by side. It was not entirely positive. The differing needs if frame types could class, as Praxian Prowl had experienced this firsthand but at the moment he was not worried about himself or his framekin. He was worried about Jazz.

As Praxus had segregated itself from its neighbours with the great dome, Polihex had itself been segregated, the nomadic and semi nomadic groups had roamed the Wastes and the Rust Sea without fear of heat or storms where no other frametype had. Their frames had developed their own quirks and one of Jazz’s was coming into play.

He needed to frag. But Jazz did not trust so much and so easily as mechanisms thought. Why anyone believed a spy would be trusting, Prowl could not begin to understand. There were Bots Jazz trusted, his team, of course but his team did not comprise mecha capable of taking what Jazz had to give them. He was starting go get snappy, standoffish. It was effecting moral, that seemed like a good excuse.

"You need to frag," Prowl declared as Jazz smacked the datapad he was fiddling with. The Polihexian's visor flashed white.

"Not really yer business, Prowl," he replied. Prowl flicked a single doorwing.

"It is affecting your productivity," Prowl said. "There is no way in Pit I will authorize your deployment when you are in such a state."

"Ya can't order me to frag," Jazz said. "OP would have yer helm."

"Why would I order you?" Prowl asked. "We both know how well you listen to my orders. I am offering my assistance."

"I would ruin ya in two overloads," Jazz said. "Not worth the effort."

"You will find I was forged for endurance," Prowl replied. "I could take anything you give and more."

Jazz stared at him and cocked his helm as he looked Prowl up and down. Prowl did not flinch from the hungry in the mech's expression. He had won, and he knew it. At the best of times Jazz was hard pressed to resist a challenge. This was far from the best of times.

"We'll see."

There was something to be said for Jazz’s self-restraint, he had more of it than anyone, including Prowl would have guessed. He did not push Prowl down on his desk and frag him, but made an honest to Primus appointment for the coming dark-cycle and suggested Prowl take them both off the schedule for the next mega-cycle. Prowl had never gotten so thoroughly fragged that he could not work the next mega-cycle but he acquiesced. It was not as if he could not put himself back on duty as it suited him.

They met in Jazz’s quarters rather than Prowl’s, though Prowl’s rank afforded him best quarters; he had never changed from the original suite he had been afforded as a tactical officer. All he used his quarters for was recharge and the narrow berth was adequate for that. That berth would not serve a marathon interface. Jazz’s would serve that purpose far better. Prowl was not clear of what expectations he had possessed prior to his arrival but every preconception fled as soon as he stepped through the door. That unexpected self-restraint he had observed in Jazz in the light-cycle was gone and as soon as Prowl entered, Jazz was there. Prowl gasped with start as Jazz effortlessly disrobed him.

“Nice tits.”

Servos cupping Prowl’s wells, Jazz pushed Prowl up against the wall and covered his mouth in a crushing grip. He hiked up Prowl’s leg, hooked it over his hip and shoved Prowl’s modesty panel aside as it was still retracting. Prowl moaned into the brutal kiss as Jazz’s ground his palm into his node as his digits spread his folds. The preparations were quick, rough and Prowl was at a loss to do anything but cling to Jazz’s shoulders. He was embarrassingly wet, just dripping with slick before Jazz’s digits ever entered him. His valve made an obscene squelch as Jazz digit-fragged him, spreading his too long empty lining. Apart from the squelch all sounds of Prowl’s overload were muted, swallowed by Jazz’s hungry mouth.

With the nip of his swollen lower lipplate, Jazz broke the kiss and stared into his glassy optics. Prowl dug his digits into Jazz’s shoulders as the other mech suddenly pulled his leg over his shoulder and drove his spike deep into Prowl’s frame. The speed and the force knocked the intakes from Prowl and the sudden stretch burned but along with the burn was a sudden scalding pleasure as his internal sensors and nodes were quickly triggered. It was embarrassing how quickly he overloaded, screaming Jazz’s designation, before Jazz had even sheathed himself in his quickly spasming valve. His leg, the one still on the floor felt like gel and he trembled. Before he could fall, before he could even secure his grip on Jazz’s shoulders, Jazz yanked that leg out from under him and held him up as he thrust up into Prowl’s valve, carving through his internal seal, carving him open. Prowl’s mouth fell open in a shocked O. His doorwings smacked back against the wall. Jazz groaned, denta clenched as he took his pleasure. Blistering hot transfluids flooded Prowl’s tank. He panted. That was one for Jazz. How many did a Polihexian usually have in a session? Oh yes, ten or twelve.

Jazz’s spike was already pressurized again before he pulled out of Prowl. He tossed the Praxian over his shoulder and carried he over to his berthroom. Prowl squeaked when he was tossed onto the berth. Flushing madly, he shuffled back so his helm rested on Jazz’s pillow, then through his legs open and canted his hips as he reached between his thighs and he moaned as he held the rim of his oozing valve open. When Jazz fell over him, Prowl cried out with ecstasy. Jazz held Prowl’s legs up and open as he filled him in one great plunge. He caught Prowl’s nozzle between his denta and nipped and sucked.

With his helm pulled back by the firm grip Jazz had on his chevron, Prowl grunted and panted as Jazz reamed out his aft pipe. He had always enjoyed aftplay and nothing at all had changed here. Prowl dug his digits into the blankets below him and he pushed back into Jazz’s churning thrusts. His wells, too large for his frame, swayed under him. Jazz covered Prowl’s long neck with denting bites. When Jazz pulled out, transfluids drooled Prowl’s slack rim. That was three.

“New ya’d have a tight aft,” Jazz groaned as he watched his spend leak out of Prowl’s afthole.

A mech possessed, Jazz gave Prowl quarter, there was no respite. Prowl braced himself on Jazz’s taunt belly as he rode the Polihexian’s spike. Jazz tugged and pinched Prowl’s nozzles. He was rough as he played with Prowl’s heavy wells and fragged up into Prowl’s well fragged core. As his node ground into Jazz’s array, Prowl round Jazz harder, faster. His glossa lulled from his mouth as he moaned deliriously. Jazz reared up, taking Prowl’s nozzle into his mouth again as his digits drove into his drooling afthole.Prowl’s optics crossed and he overloaded with a wail as Jazz’s splattered his gestation tank with more transfluids. That was... four? Five? Prowl had lost track already.

He was not sure if he was overloading anymore, or if he just never stopped. Prowl panted as he twisted the pillow under his helm in his servos. Another pillow was beneath his hips as Jazz pinned him down, servos folded over his shoulders and drilled him deep. Prowl moaned softly as Jazz ran his servos over his back and doorwings and squeezed his round aft segments. He sucked a denta into the edge of Prowl’s doorwings. Somehow, Prowl found the energy to wail as he overloaded. His protoform rounded slightly as Jazz released into his tank again. Prowl panted. He spent. Jazz rolled him  and pushed his legs open. Jazz was not.

Jazz stood up on his knees and rutted into Prowl’s sloppy valve.The angle he was using dragged Jazz’s spike against Prowl’s gamma cluster and his internals clenched  as sparks flew across his vision. HIs peds curled, Prowl reached between his own legs to furiously, rub his anterior node. With a shrilled shriek, Prowl overloaded but Jazz never stopped stimulating Prowl’s gamma cluster and soon Prowl was overloading again, his valve sprayed lubricants out around Jazz’s spike.

Prowl drooled against the pillow as Jazz crouched over his upturned aft and growled as he plunged his spike into Prowl’s quivering channel. His protoform was bloated, inflated with Jazz’s transfluids. It was going to take orns for the swelling to go down, Everyone was going to think he was carrying. Something heavy and solid ground against Prowl’s slack folds. The knot. He still needed to take Jazz’s knot. Prowl sobbed as the thick swelling at the base of Jazz’s spike butted against his rim. As it was, he was already so full. Overwhelmed, Prowl tried to wriggle away but Jazz bit his doorwing and hiked his hips up, and forced the knot passed the last of his internals’ resistance.

Jazz’s overloaded with a grunt, the force of his spill so much strong and the amount so much greater. Prowl dragged his servo under him and felt his swollen belly where he was inflated with Jazz’s spend. Groaning softly, Jazz collapsed against his back and his spike twitch with another spurt of transfluids as he fell into stasis lock. Prowl tried to push himself up, to get himself out from under Jazz but he was too tired to dislodge the mech. His optics grew dim and he resigned himself to recharging with Jazz pinning him to his filthy berth and his spike knot deep in his tank.

[youuuimeanmee]

Selfish is Eren’s trait.

No matter how much time changes.

EDIT: Should I mention that this is NOT an Eren rant? This is just me marveling at how great Eren’s character is, no matter what his flaws are.

Many people has been saying that Eren is selfless, how the Rumbling is the only choice to save Paradis so he had to set aside his emotion for greater good. While yes, that is true, it’s not quite right. Remember chapter 131?

Eren himself said he was selfish. He was disappointed the world is not as beautiful as in Armin’s book. He was disappointed humanity outside the walls exist. He wished to wipe them all away. But still, no matter how much he wished for it to happen, it’s still wrong. Just like Eren said in chapter 130, all the future he saw is still far away. Maybe things could change. Maybe his wish won’t come true, but at least things would turn out to be morally right. That’s why he decided to sit back and watch.

But no. Even after Zeke (another royal blood) and Azumabito (the mediator to the outside world) entered Paradis, they’re not giving him a great option. They’re blinded by their own selfish desire. Azumabito just wanted to use Paradis as a cashgrab, while Zeke wished for Eldia’s euthanasia. Paradis doesn’t give him another option either, even though the time is running out.

Of course Eren would snap. 

Fuck them all. Fuck them all, who won't give Paradis a chance. Fuck them all, who choose to stay in their comfort zone. Time is running out. All lives matter, including Paradis. If the world refused to see Paradis as a part of humanity, then he’ll reject them as parts of humanity too. If Paradis refuse to move, then he’ll force them to move. Better bring out his dream to life if that's the case.

It was all too convenient; the time, the circumstances. It was all matching with his dream to exterminate his enemies; to become free from shackles; to expand his horizon outside the walls.

He has the power, and he only have a few years to live, what's the more appropriate time than now?

But still.  He's painfully aware it's wrong.  What’s he about to do is a one-sided massacre.

If I had to say, Eren has several options:

Wipe out the rest of the world

Let the world trample Paradis

Run away and forget it all

Share his future memories, and decide things with his friends.

Option #4 is already out of the window, because he doesn’t trust his friends enough to let them decide their future. He believes all the hatred and bloodshed will not stop until he buries the world to the ground, to avoid them laying a hand on Paradis ever again. He believes if he doesn’t do this, his friends would continue to live in misery until they die.

Option #3 is also out, since he had to move forward no matter what, so he’s left with 2 choices.

Again, he throw away option #2, because no matter how much he think about it, there’s no way he’d let his own people being trampled by the world.

So yeah, option #1 is to go, then. But he knew, it’s wrong.  He will take all the lives of innocent people. He will drag his friends into danger, he will hurt them, he will disappoint everyone. He will become a monster. There's no guarantee Paradis will strive once this is all over. There might be another hell, he knew.

That’s why, even though he knows what to do, even though things is going according to his dream, he broke down. He still asked for forgiveness, even though he knew full well he’s the one at fault.

He couldn’t take it anymore. His guilt is eating him alive. 

At this time, he wished for an escape. He’s starting to reconsider option #3. And that’s where Mikasa came in.

Mikasa, the girl who sticks to him no matter what. Mikasa, who saved him, no matter how hopeless the situation is.

Maybe this time, she could save him too. He relies on her, he clings to her answer for dear life. Maybe he could stop him. Maybe things would turn out okay if she give a different answer.

But no. Things didn’t work out as he wished for. Mikasa didn’t see through his suffering, she is clueless as ever; so he had to move on with his initial plan. When Eren said it’s a perfect timing, he really meant that, since he could snap out of his emotional self and focus on what he needs to do. Back to option #1.

This is one of the moments where Eren’s half-assed-ness selfishness shine. If he truly cares for the rest of the world, if he truly cares for his friends’ feeling, he should’ve open up more. He should’ve told Mikasa his dream, because only then, she could understand where Eren is coming from. If so, maybe Mikasa could told him to give up his dream, just like Levi to Erwin.

But no. Until the very end, he didn’t told his friends anything, because he already decided. He didn’t want his friends to stop him at this point, not yet. He has to do what he needs to do first. Not even in the moment of weakness he’d let Mikasa stop him. Because he knew. If he let his emotion and moral get the better of him, he’d never find a solace. Sure, maybe he could live the rest of his life with Mikasa in peace, but he wouldn’t be able to live with another greater regrets.

He chose the solace instead of salvation from his sins. So he turned his back from SC and never came back.

Eren infiltrated Marley. He experienced it firsthand how, even outside the walls, bad and good people were all the same. Reiner’s confession surprised him in a good way, because of  how similar they are than he originally thought.

Both of them are moving with such selfish desire, under the pretense of “for the greater good.” Reiner destroyed the walls because he wanted to become a hero, while Eren is about to destroy the world because he wants humanity to perish. Their guilt is eating them alive to this day.

But Willy’s speech reminding him once again, that, in the end, they’re all the same, they’re just one side of the coin.

Willy reminded him why he’s doing all of these in the first place. He reminded him of his initial motivation.

It resonates with him so much that it hurt. Listening to Reiner and Willy gave him comfort,  that everything is not his, nor everybody's fault. There’s no right or wrong. Maybe, everyone is born this way. Even if he moves with selfish desire, the world really doesn’t give him much choice so it doesn’t really matter. It's just the matter of who will keep going until the very end.  

He keeps moving forward until his objective is fulfilled, no matter how much he suffers, no matter how much his friends suffer. But deep down, he wanted to be saved. So much that during the Rumbling, his mind regressed into a child, because it’s easier for him to kill “bad people” to reach his “freedom.” This is why he didn’t fight the Alliance seriously. If Eren really wanted the Rumbling to continue, he could’ve eliminated them on the get-go, or sent one of his titans to remove the explosives around his neck, or prevented Armin from reaching out to Zeke, anything. But he didn’t. Because now that his objective is fulfilled, as Reiner said, he wants someone to stop him. He decides when is the right time to stop; and that’s after he destroy Fort Salta, humanity’s last weapon.

TLDR; Eren is selfish for  letting his dream get the better of him; for deciding what’s best for Paradis himself; for dragging his dad and his friends into this mess; for choosing this bloody path; for wanting to be saved after everything he had done. But if he hadn’t done this, who knows what hell will await Paradis. He won’t take that risk, ever. Eren is aware of all of this; thus why, he asked Mikasa to forget about him.

His selfishness makes him a true monster, yet at the same time, a really flawed human being.

Eren Yeager decides where to start, and where to end his journey. He really is selfish until the end.