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ingydar-phan · 3 months

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Happy birthday Dan. I found you at a very, very low point in my life. It’s funny, because that point was only a few months ago. March 3rd. March 3rd. Jesus Christ. I was dealing with severe bullying, depression, hopelessness, isolation, gender dysphoria (i have been out/socially transitioned for like 5 years), and most of all, loneliness. I had a circle of about 3 friends who i talked to regularly, but only 1 i even saw in person more than once per year. Then, two of those 3 people began having relationship issues and were on the verge of breaking up. I felt like i was a bother, a burden to their already existing issues. Every single day I’d walk into school, put my headphones on, and not talk to a single person. I’d read, sleep, listen to music, dissociate, and sleep some more throughout the day just to distract myself from everything. From class, from parents, from the outside, everything. I fully and truly believed everyone besides those 3 people hated me. They found me disgusting, annoying, taking up space, and simply didn’t want me there. I think that is true to an extent, but i don’t like how i was just letting that be how it is. My dad was genuinely hopeless, he told me to just ride it out and if i could try to be just a little bit normal-er, maybe i wouldn’t be ignored by every person every day. That didn’t work. Instead, i decided to do some self work. Or rather, my dad stopped intruding on my free time which allowed me to still be awake and do things i wanted to do in peace. I thought, “Dan and Phil….those two emo guys with the cat whiskers….i have such a vague memory of a friend mentioning them or scrolling across a post of them, who even are they?”. I typed into the YouTube search bar “Dan and Phil”. A gaming channel? Are these people streamers? Oh god (i did not know you were one of us 🏳️‍🌈….or british…..). I watched one video. Now, ACCORDING TO YOUTUBE HISTORY, i somehow watched What Dan And Phil Text Each Other 4 as my first video. Not even the gaming channel, i don’t know how this happened maybe YouTube is lying to me. Whatever. Ok so which ones Dan and which ones Phil? Why do they look SO different? They’re British? I started watching Dan and Phil edits on TikTok. Ok, i know who you are, i get the vibes. Oh, coming out timeline? Gaming channel timeline and hiatus? Reacting to PINOF? On March 13, i watched Basically I’m Gay and Coming Out To You. It took me an entire month from then to watch Why I Quit YouTube. By late April, i was in it. I was watching Dan or Phil every day. Before, during, and/or after school. Since then, I’ve purchased YWGTTN (limited edition signed updated paperback). It was 38 fucking dollars in USD but it was worth it. I also now own TATINOF and DAPGO, one of which is signed by Phil, i bought second hand. So yes, now this is my new thing. But you know what else? I was getting happier. I was going to more concerts. I was doing my schoolwork, or at least trying to. I was reading!!!! I’ve since finished The Secret History. I made a friend; reconnected with an old childhood friend and started eating lunch together and hanging out and having shared trauma dump sessions, and we are so so close now. My two friends broke up, but it’s ok. I’m best friends with one of them and he’s so much better off, and the other and i are still casual friends!! I value them both for the multiple years I’ve known them. I’ve taken family vacations and done religious holidays with genuine care while getting to reconnect with my family. I’ve very passionately finished acting in a musical that I’ve put so much care into for about 5 months. I’m graduating tomorrow!!! And me and my close friend will be going to a concert tomorrow night afterwards, and I’m going to have a great summer where i see my close friend who i haven’t seen IRL since March of 2023. I’m getting closer with my dad and seeing a new therapist. I am having medical problems as of right now, but i would 100% be lying in bed crying and skipping graduation had i not found a reason to enjoy my days.

Did i just take one sentence referencing Dan to write a whole autobiography on tumblr? Yes, but also no. Dan and Phil are real people. They really do rescue pigeons named Steve and getting 10 sauces for their pizza and say hi across the city with binoculars. But they also genuinely have an impact on people, and they see that, and they LIKE to see that. I don’t think Dan will see this post. But I’m making it anyway. For me.

I love Dan so much. I cried twice while watching We’re All Doomed in my kitchen. I have actively watched Dan and Phil videos while crying at school. Once, in my bedroom, i was having a panic attack. I had an overwhelming rush of thoughts around 10 or 11 at night about how worthless i am and how terrible everything was going. I opened my tiktok, and there was THE edit that saved me. It was a video of fetus Dan on YouNow talking about his dream home. And then it was cutting back and forth to the Phouse. Then, Dans hopeful monologue in Basically I’m Gay. Finally, Dans hopeful monologue in We’re All Doomed. All of this in a softly shaky screen with sad music behind it. I cried a lot. This aspect of my life means so much to me. I think about the Halloween 2023 baking video at least 5 times a day (and sister Daniel’s….uhm….legs…). I am still so mad i did not buy the satanic Craft shirts. I just rewatched Dans interview last year with Anthony Padilla just because of how goddamn much I’m obsessed with that angle of Dan with his cute chin and cheeks and fucking dimple. I think about Dans bluntness in his defined-self and truly feel inspired to be like him. I look at his change over the years, his comfortability in his body, seeing that his face and neck are shaped like my face and neck, and he’s fucking beautiful. I don’t think I’d feel comfortable in my weight if not for Dan Howell, and i mean that so insanely sincerely. I read Dans book whenever I’m feeling hopeless and need a soft sexy British man to tell me the scientific reasoning behind why i feel this way and to assure me he’s felt worse. I’m so serious when i say i cannot imagine a day of my life without Dan and Phil. I truly don’t understand how i lived before or how I’d expect to live without it. “Live”, in the sense of find a way of life, not as in “stay alive.” I can’t imagine a day without those big brown boba eyes and that cute dimple and mainly that calming voice that reminds me someone else has felt this way. That reminds me love is possible. That reminds me i have so much ahead of me, so much life and love and joy.

Phil’s birthday stream may be my favorite piece of Dan and Phil media, or at least one of them. I find it so comforting and wholesome and beautiful and hilarious. I have such high hopes for Dans birthday stream. Until then, I’ll be working on my long-awaited (still very very unfinished) 2009!Dan and Phil art piece within my art initiative (pinned on my profile) (just for funsies, no money or anything involved). I’m going to sit there at 3pm (my time) and watch with a huge smile on my face to see my amazing dads spend the time of their lives being sexy and old and happy and disgustingly homosexual while i just embrace all you’ve done for me.

Happy birthday Dan

@danielhowell

#dan and phil #daniel howell #dan howell #phan #amazingphil #dnp #dan and phil games #dans birthday #happy birthday #dnpgames #d&p #phil lester

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sunshineseung · 4 years

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My assumptions about you based on who your stray kids bias is~

Bang Chan: you’re constantly horny, but you mask it with 🌸🥺💗💌 but we all know what you’re thinking about, and it’s Chris’ arms. 90% of your camera roll is pictures of Chan being cute or sexy, and your YouTube history is just Chan’s room clips. You’re also super duper OT8 though. You love these boys almost as much as your bias does. I’m guessing you went through an emo phase sometime in your life, or at least often wear all black with layers upon layers no matter the weather.

Lee Know: you’re really smart and/or really gay. Lesbians love Lino! You’ve probably read the hunger games or a similar book series at some point, and now you just like guys that are cold or serious a lot. You’re some of the only people that see minho for more than just being “mean”, and I really appreciate that. Also, you’re all cat people. Unlike stray kids, you can name and identify all of Minho’s cats, and I’m sure he appreciates that. Although most people would get mad, you’re through the moon when your favorite idols post selfies with stupid, face-warping filters, and theyre more than often your lock screen. Overall, you’re the superior kind of stay, and far too powerful to be contained.

Changbin: Oh my god, we get it, you love him. (kidding, please keep talking about him). You have a real heart of gold. Basically the nicest person ever, but you can still pick on your friends from time to time. There’s so much love in your heart, but most of it is for Changbin. No offence, but you’re probably short (although arent most stays short?). Crazy assumption, but did you go through a steven universe/gravity falls phase? Don’t worry, the best of us did. You probably have very fond memories of children’s media like cartoons or childrens books, and i’m nearly certain you own at least two Squishmallows. I will protect you at all costs.

Hyunjin: Oh, so you’re really hot. You’re also very opinionated and outgoing when needed, but damn. Leave some for the rest of us. You don’t even know you’re breaking hearts left and right, but please don’t stop. You don’t have a ton of friends, but a few very close ones, and you’re okay with that. You’re also very talented at a lot of things, even things you don’t know or think you’re good at. The jack of all trades type. You’re very much the kind of person to speak up when you see something going wrong, whether it’s bigotry, bullying, or anything you personally don’t agree with. Don’t get it wrong, though, if anyone even mentions Hyunjin or Stray Kids, you’re ready to go on a 5 hours tirade about how amazing and talented and pretty Hwang Hyunjin is. May god have mercy on those who are within earshot.

Han: Stop acting so tough. We all know you’re just a little softy. No amount of silver jewelry or punk/alternative clothing can hide who you are inside: a baby. Han Jisung is your wallpaper, your app icons, your inspiration, your happiness!!! You would do anything to protect Jisung and make him happy. If you ever hear your friends or loved ones talking poorly about themselves, you’re ready to jump on them and cover them in love and compliments and reassure them that they are incredible. You’re everyone’s best friend and you don’t even know it. You’re also super duper funny! This might sound odd, but you probably have a strong opinion about tiktok houses. Quick question: what’s your favorite sitcom to reference? Or what’s the tiktok audio you reference constantly for a month before forgetting it exists?

Felix: You’re adorable. You make my fragile little heart melt. Your existence lights up the lives of everyone around you, and the brightness of your smile is rivalled only by the sun. Although you might be a little anxious sometimes, your presence is a present and everyone adores you! You’re so nice to everyone around you, and we all appreciate it. To you, Felix is your happy place. Truly, just looking at a picture of Felix makes you feel warm and cozy in the best way possible. Although you first fell in love with him for his voice, by now you understand all of his talents and charms. You’re beyond whipped for this man, but whenever asked about it, you just say “I love him” :) super cute omg. Sorry if this calls you out, but you probably went through a Dan and Phil phase, and you might even still watch them to this day, albeit without the sharpie whiskers. Stay cute, babes!

Seungmin: You’re perfect. You’re beautiful. You look like Linda Evangelista. You’re a model. Did you stone those tights? Oh, you’re smiling! ... okay but can we talk about how amazing Seungmin biased people are? Literally so nice and well mannered, and I’m not just saying that because I’m one of them. You’re sometimes really sassy and catty, but most of the time, you’re just a ball of sunshine. You’re super cute, and you’re probably obsessed with cottage core aesthetic or Sanrio characters (or both)! You probably play and instrument of some kind, or even sing a little. Maybe even draw omg you’re talentedddd. You’re also accidentally funny a lot, whether that’s from clumsiness or cuteness. Despite looking adorable, you’re uper smart and cunning, probably witty as fuck when you get into arguments, which isn’t often because you shut down the other person faster than they can think of a response. Lovely lovely lovely people!

Jeongin: You’re either a few years older than Jeongin and baby him to death or you’re a few years younger than him and you just think he’s cute (although he’s getting a lot hotter omg did you see his arms???) You can be a little quiet sometimes, but whenever you talk, it’s something mindblowingly insightful or painfully hilarious. You can be super cute when you need to get something, and only when you want something. Again, you break hearts left and right, but don’t stop. Everyone fucking loooooooves you, and your friend group will not hesitate to remind you how much they appreciate you. You have a bunch of hidden talents that only a very few amount of people know, because to you, they’re just hobbies. You’re super talented and amazing, and you don’t even know it! You’re probably very clumsy and bubbly, even when no one is around. There’s probably some Panic! at the Disco or Troye Sivan on your playlist.

woof this was rough lol i hope this was funny to some people. reblog with how much i got right about you in the tags, cuties! :)

#skz #stray kids #nia shitposts

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crystalk17 · 4 years

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Encounter With the Only Human/ Mouse of a Time

This is a chapter about how Thomas found out about Virgil’ s transformations. So far he is the only person that knows he can transform like the others. All this time Thomas has been a great Creator and friend by keeping Virgil’s secret. He wants Virgil to talk about it, but he stresses how much he doesn’t want the others to find out. Not yet.

Warning: High Anxiety, hand-holding, feeling of being trapped, Arguing, fear of the unknown. Somewhat bad thoughts about harm from another.

Click here for Master Post! Previous and next few chapters here!

Do you want to know one interesting fact about the Side’s animal forms? Not many people would think so, but the sides don’t always have control over their animal forms. Each Side has a degree of control, but most changes are brought upon by a loss of emotions.

For example, Logan tends to have the most control over his transformations. Out of all the Sides, he has the most control because he can usually look at the situation with a logical side, calming himself down. Not saying he has total control, there have been a few times when Roman and him have gotten into an argument, causing his transformation to be forced.

Now thinking about it...any time Logan is forced to transform into a bird; it is always because Roman gets under his skin and tries to out reason him on decisions with a completely different outlook than his own.

Patton and Virgil have the least control over their transformations. All it takes is for Patton to be overwhelmed with happy feelings and excitement, accidentally triggering a transformation. For the dark-colored side, it’s always the opposite. He just needs to feel uncomfortable and nervous for his transformation to kick in...that’s where the situation lies.

Virgil feels like he has to hide himself away in his room all the time. He used to be able to hang out with his fellow sides, but then Roman would start to constantly get on his case for...well...basically existing. Creativity has gotten better at accepting Virgil as a Light Side since it was evident he was not going anywhere, but there was always this pressure to fit in and not cause trouble for Thomas.

Then, on top of that general fact, he was always feeling nervous because of his instinct. The purple side could be sitting on the couch watching TV, feeling fine. Minding his own business. He could have just talked with Roman, not even a few minutes ago, but then he would see the cat. His heartbeat would rise instantly, going a mile a minute. His hands would start shaking like he just pulled himself off a ledge. He also wouldn’t be able to stand still. All because Roman, the cat just walked in and his mouse instincts were telling him to run. That’s a cat. Get away.

This would happen any time he witnessed one of the animals walk into the same room, so he just couldn’t handle it anymore. He couldn’t risk being seen like that... So he did the simplest solution he could think of... Stay in his room. That is, until Thomas called upon him.

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Thomas was already in a situation he wished he didn’t present to his fellow sides because no one could seem to help him out. The human watched a video on YouTube. He loved it. He loved it so much he was inspired to make his own video about the content. Thomas said he would change the content but leave the plot, so it wasn’t copying, but of course Roman and Logan had some advice of their own. Logic said it would be morally wrong to take someone else's plot period. Someone else thought of it first. They would have put so much hard work into it, why take their credit away?. Just because Thomas would change a few things, that does not mean it still was not stealing. The creative side was, of course, on the opposite side of the conversation. He said as long as the video wasn't exact, Thomas would be safe. It wasn’t wrong to take inspiration from another.

In all honesty, the conversation had been going on for about an hour at this point. The YouTuber was getting tired of the conversation, and was so close to just saying “ Forget what I said, I’ll just make something else.”

Back in the mindscape, Virgil was getting ready for his own adventure. To sleep. He was also tired of hearing those two argue all day long and wanted to pass the time. What better way than to take a long nap until all of this resolved itself.

Virgil knew he was by himself. It was his room. His mindscape. But he had to make sure. He looked around his room, just expecting one of the other sides to teleport onto his property as if that would happen. He was told his room was so depressing the last time the others were in his room. Virgil looked under his bed by crouching down, looking left, then right, just to make sure everything was in its place. He then approached his door, slowly opened it up, and looked around in the hallway. He knew Logan and Roman were still with Thomas, but knowing his luck, he would get comfortable then a visitor would knock on his door like Deceit or Patton.

Anxiety looked to the left one more time, as a precaution, then slowly closed the door to give the quietness a few extra seconds to make it clear no one was in the mindscape.

Virgil sighed once the door was completely closed, leaning his back up against it to support himself. He slid to the floor, pulling his knees to his chest. He placed his head down on his crossed arms and started to think out loud.

“ Now would be the time. Honestly the best time to do it. I would not be noticed, plus the other sides are busy arguing. It’s not like with a project like this Thomas would call me in any way.”

Virgil closed his eyes and sighed once more. “ Alright. Let’s do this. I can’t keep being scared to transform. I’m fine. I’m safe.”

He took a deep breath in, held it for a few seconds, then released it. When he released his breath, it seemed like he also released all his worries with that one blow. All his anxiety and shakiness stopped. He opened his eyes, noticing the purple smoke to appear. A flash of small light and it was all done. The small mouse looked around, twitching its nose and whiskers trying to recheck his surroundings. He stood up on his hind legs, looking around.

As soon as he transformed, he could just feel his senses being heightened and his surroundings seem instantly different. Everything was towering from this perspective, but in all honesty he already knew this fact. Virgil scurried across the floor trying to reach his bed.

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The creator, at this point, was irritated. He was sitting on the couch, hunched over, rubbing at his temples. He cared for and even thought of Roman and Logan as family, but this was getting ridiculous.

Thomas removed his hands from his head, peering up at the two who were basically in a screaming match at this point. He looked down once more but immediately forced himself up to see the other two.

“Look. I appreciate both of your points of view, but we are getting nowhere. We need to bring in another component into this. We need a third voice. Maybe that will help clear the room.”

Logan stopped arguing with Roman immediately. He was even in mid-sentence, talking about how many people get reported each year for plagiarism on YouTube alone. “ Wait...who are you thinking? You have all you need right in front of you. Literally.”

Thomas began to think. “ I honestly do not think Patton would help much in this situation...so why not Virgil?”

Roman stared at Thomas like he just threw up in front of them all then tried to walk away like he did nothing. “ Virgil? How would that Emo Vampire help us in this situation?”

Thomas glared at Roman. He knew how Thomas felt about calling Virgil names.

“Sorry. Habit...but still how will finding out your anxiety help with this decision?”

“In all honesty you two are making me sick of my voice. So we need something done.”The human started to call for the anxious side. Usually, if he willed his sides in the room, or he called for them by name, that particular side would show up immediately. There was never a delay...except this time.

“Virgil!” Thomas looked around in confusion. He couldn’t place it. Where was he?

Roman and Logan continued to argue, ignoring Thomas for the time being. They were in their little world probably about to change any moment from how intense the two were getting into it. Roman was getting aggravated while Logan was just standing there with his arms crossed with a smug smile plastered on his face, even though he was feeling his insides turn from the irritation.

The human walked off to the side trying to decipher why Virgil did not heed his call. He knew all of his sides always took advantage of being outside of the mindscape. He honestly didn’t know if they could ignore him anyway.

He sat down on the couch, more aggravated than when he had to explain to the other sides that the used to be dark side was not a bad guy. (We all remember those two episodes.) Thomas removed his hands from his face. He slowly lifted his head to watch the two argue some more, but something caught his eye. It seemed pitch black, but small. Thomas looked over at the two arguing one more time, realizing they didn’t notice anything and followed behind slowly. He stood up, looking around for the...creature making his way to the hall. He stopped before leaving the room and waved his hand over at Roman and Logan hoping to grab their attention. “ Ummm hey...do you mind if we continue this some other time? I don’t have to even make a video for another week anyway.”He didn’t stop looking in the hallway very curiously.

Roman abruptly stopped his arguing, looking towards the irritated human horribly confused. “ If we must.”

Logan took his turn and watched. He could easily notice from the small details and gestures that something was up. Thomas was looking all over the place, at least his eyes, his hands were shaking from his anxiety perking up, and his body was facing the hallway instead of at them. “ May I suggest, Roman, that we give Thomas here some time to contemplate the suggestions we have given him? He looks a bit overwhelmed at this point.”

Roman looked a bit taken back and humiliated since he never noticed the little details Logan must have picked up on. He was too focused on himself to even consider how Thomas was acting or feeling. “ Yes! We shall give him some time to contemplate the ideas and realize I am correct!”He raised one hand into the air while the other was near his chest, sinking down to disappear with a pose to show off. All Logan could do was roll his eyes, and somewhat his head, and sunk down, allowing a small bit of his petty side to show.

The YouTuber gave a small smile from their display of childishness but immediately walked into the hall looking for the creature. He walked in looking at all the doors trying to see if any trace was left from the creature. He about got to the end thinking to himself “ Maybe it slipped into one of the rooms?” but abruptly stopped walking when he noticed a black and smaller than normal mouse. It wasn’t small enough to slip through the cracks under the doors but was half the size of a normal full-grown animal. He could tell from his position that the creature was terrified. It was not moving, letting out a chorus of small shaky sounds.

Thomas proceeded to get closer, and with every step the mouse seemed to scrunch itself closer to the wall. Thomas stopped, so he wasn’t on top of the creature then crouched down on the ground to get even closer. “ Come here little guy. Can’t have you here. Don’t really belong here of all places.”

As he approached the rodent with his hands, he could just feel a sudden rush of anxiety and fear wash over him. It seemed like an aura was washing over him. He could just feel exactly what this creature was feeling, yet it was familiar. Thomas reached out and gently grabbed the creature in front of him, holding him in a gentle grasp. He wasn't trying to pet the mouse, not knowing where it has been, but tried to calm it down with his voice, so it didn’t escape. “I’m just going got take you back outside.” He finally noticed the purple fur netted in with the black. The mouse looked up at him, revealing its adorable features, but also dark purple under both his eyes in a messy way. There were scratches of dark purple throughout the fur only one up close would notice. He then noticed the tip was purple as well. From far away it just looked like a discolored black.

Thomas sat cross-legged on the ground holding the mouse in his lap.

Poor Virgil had no idea what was happening. He was honestly in his room in the mindscape, trying to get used to the sensation of his animal form, when he heard Thomas call for him. He tried to fight the call as much as he could, but since he was slowly developing into a Light-side he couldn’t ignore the call, just like the others. Virgil was looking at some objects on his desk when the next moment he was still a mouse and appeared in the living room with the loud and huge Light sides. Logan and Roman must have been arguing again. Internally he sighed, but it came out as a huff from the creature. Some other incidents happened and now he was cornered by this human, who didn’t know who he was.

He always dreaded this day. Being found. He just figured it would be by Patton or Roman. Not Thomas. Thomas picked his body up and placed him by his chest. All the mouse could picture was, what was going to happen? Humans hated rodents. If they didn’t, they would keep them as pets. Virgil started to physically shake and closed his eyes.

This got even worse when he witnessed his creator clasp both hands around his body. What was he doing?! Was he going to get rid of the pest here and now? Thomas was a human, but he never even seen him kill a spider. That was the logic side’s job. He saw the hands clasp around his whole form and come closer and closer to him. This couldn’t be happening. So many things were running through his head.

This is it. He wanted all Dark sides out of his life, now he will. It’s his one chance to get rid of me without protest from the others. No life without anxiety. It’s not like many of the others would care anyway. Princy would probably be rejoicing anyway.

“Virgil. Why didn’t you tell us...or at least me?” He felt his body come closer to the human’s chest, finally removing a hand.

Thomas could just feel the anxiety, along with all of his feelings of fear wash away as soon as he said Virgil’s name. The mouse looked up at his huge figure in response to his voice. Suddenly a purple smoke cloud appeared and the weight in his hands released and diminished. Virgil was sitting on the ground with Thomas with his head on his shoulder. “ I wanted to for so long. I was just too scared of all the possibilities and reactions.”

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thelowlysatsuma · 5 years

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listen

i haven’t watched a dan howell video in literal years. my lovely friend b (coincidentally, the same person who got me into thomas sanders) introduced me to his channel back in – god, must have been the mid 2010s – when it was definitely still called danisnotonfire, and i watched the dan and phil vids like every other internet-addicted dumbass of my time. i was never a superfan like some of my buds, but i remember drawing the occasional set of cat whiskers on my face like everyone else.

up until about two days ago, my most recent thought on dan’s channel was “oh hey, he changed the name from danisnotonfire! wild.”, which, being honest, tells you exactly how little i’ve thought about the dude for a while.

yesterday, a mutual of mine told our group chat he had a new video out.

today, i watched his coming out video.

listen. listen. i’m, to put it simply: one lucky-ass son of a bitch. i am white. i am cis. i’m able-bodied, and i live in a rich country. most of all, i come from a hella accepting family and friend group, so when i told my parents i was bi, they were super chill with it, and i’ve definitely outed myself to friends through queer jokes before. if we disregard the brief, nebulous time from around grade 7 to grade 9 when i was frantically trying to figure out if i even liked girls or if i was just deluding myself, i don’t believe i’ve ever had a “gay panic” period, nor experienced any form of direct oppression or discrimination for being bi.

and yet.

i needed that video. i needed that video. i have queer celebs i look up to, yeah, but there’s something about not only the fact that dan was so open and honest about his experiences, both growing up and right now, that hit me hard, but something about the fact that daniel howell posted a coming out video was just. really important to me.

because this is dan howell. he’s quite possibly the gold star for “famous youtubers”, at least in my limited knowledge of the genre. he’s the guy who started with that embarrassing goddamn first video that he was so ashamed of he walked off stage when it was played at a con that one time, and he’s queer. for- for some reason, this is just different than following or- or knowing about a celebrity who’s already out. because he took all the things i’m scared of, or know i could or should or might be scared of about coming out, and he put them into words, and he empathized, and he said he was valid, and we were too.

i’m not out to. like. the general public irl. friends and family? yeah. acquaintances? unless they saw me that one time at the school carnival with the pride flag, not so much. i want to be, believe me. i want to be able to post the dumb “be gay do crimes” edit i made of myself on my personal insta, because it’s stupid and funny and i like it. i wanna be able to make gay jokes about myself without wondering if anyone is listening in. i wanna be able to talk about those times i did something dumb in front of a pretty girl with my friends at dance without lowering my voice but i can’t, because i’m just not ready for that yet.

coming out is scary. coming out is awkward, and terrifying, and literally sometimes a threat to personal safety. but i just saw someone who i genuinely did look up to when i was younger come out in public and tell the rest of us that it’s okay if we’re out, and it’s okay if we’re not, and that we’re valid either way, and that really struck a chord with me.

so thanks, dan. not sure if i’m gonna keep up this trend of watching your videos the day after i hear they’re out, but hell, with the update schedule you’re notorious for having, i might just be able to swing it. (jk jk content creation and upload schedules and fans feeling entitled to content by a certain deadline is a whole other can of worms that i’m not getting into right now lmao)

anyways, i’m proud of you for coming out. this video has inspired literally so many people, including quite a few of my friends. you’re a super brave formless entity, my dude.

and it also helped me feel, if not less scared, than a little less alone in my fear.

so thank you. thanks.

#dan howell #daniel howell #danisnotonfire #suma talks #suma rants lmao #queer #bi #bisexual #pride #pride month #coming out

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fuelaphantasy · 5 years

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an open letter to dan howell, the phandom, but most importantly my previous self.

wow okay. i haven’t been on this account in like... 3 years? maybe? i was barely able to log in just now. i’m surprised this is still even a thing still.

back in the day in like ~2016 i was a HUGE youtube fanatic with a love for dan & phil. i had the cat whiskers shirt, the book, the audio book, hell i even had the mask of phil’s face and i shit you not, I WENT AS PHIL FOR HALLOWEEN ONE YEAR. i loved shipping them together and writing fanfictions and watching their livestreams and joking around with the phandom saying “oH mY gOd ThEy ArE sO gAy WhY wOn’T tHeY cOmE oUt YeT,” only i think we all knew deep down that we weren’t joking.

things were taken way too far on my part, but also on the phandom’s.

if you still follow this dead account or are seeing this somehow then you’ve probably noticed that i’m posting this on june 13, 2019, aka the day that dan put out the Basically I’m Gay video. i haven’t watched his or phil’s videos in literal years, but i watched this one. at first when my friend sent me a screenshot of the title of the video, i thought it was photoshopped until i checked youtube and saw it was #1 trending in the United States. and you can bet that once i saw the thumbnail, i watched it all the way through.

when i finished the video, i had a rush of emotions. first of all, i never really expected him to address it straight up, so just the shock of that threw me off in the beginning. but then i was proud. i’m so incredibly proud of him and seeing how far he has come on his self-love journey even if he’s not all the way there yet. like he said, he’s finally now just confident enough in himself to open this up to the public and by the time that the video ended, i was nearly in tears.

but i also felt tremendous guilt. i thought about this blog and about my twitter page and my wattpad and everything i had on them from when i was 13/14. it was gross. it IS gross. i, along with many others in the phandom, fetishized these two people to the point where i was literally writing stories about how they were in love as if they were some kind of fictional characters. it’s gross and disgusting and i wish i could say i’m genuinely sorry to the both of them to their faces on behalf of myself and the phandom.

i’m not sure why it took until now for me to really put this out there. i think it was because dan literally walked through his life story up until right at this moment and brought attention to things i really did not think about. nonetheless, i hate that its taken me this long, and i hate that it probably has taken you, the reader, this long as well.

we MUST do better as a society. dan howell and phil lester were had an enormous impact on my life in middle school and all i did in return was fetishize them for literally no reason other than for entertainment, even if they didn’t know i existed. they are PEOPLE, and they were back then too. those two grown men deserve to have their lives back, not in the hands of us crusty girls going through puberty (imo). i’m disappointed in my past and current self. watching that video brought me to that realization.

i’m not sure why i’m writing out this long ass post that no one is going to read, but i felt that it needed to be said. hopefully some of you can relate. i don’t even care if this is reblogged or gets notes or anything; this just needed to be said.

so, to dan & phil. i love you guys and i think you both are incredible and i’m sorry for the way the fanbase has been, but more importantly how i have been. i know you’re not reading this but i hope you can forgive me.

to the phandom, feel free to follow dan & phil. they’re genuinely great human beings. just please, please don’t do what i have done in my past. its not quirky, its not cool, its invasive and stalkerish and annoying. this is coming from a former member.

to my past self, no one was here to guide you and this was a mistake that you made. in the future you’ll look back on this and see that it was. learn from it.

that’s all i got folks. i’ll probably deactivate this account at some point but i’m not sure when. if anyone wants to reconnect with me or talk one on one about what i said dm me and we can talk. see you all soon.

29 notes · View notes

theonyxpath · 5 years

Link

Pirates of Pugmire, from which you see the awesome beach duel by artist Pat McEvoy above, launched last week and is over half-way to its funding goal!

Thanks to everybody who has backed so far, and please check it out and spread the word! Pirates of Pugmire is a sourcebook that expands on the entirety of the Realms of Pugmire, and contains new rules and info on piracy on the Acid Sea and the port city of Waterdog Keep, new callings for dogs and cats, new player character types with the birds and lizards, gunpowder weapon rules (originally imported from other lands where the lizard-folk trade), and contains new and connected adventures.

It really has just a ton of new stuff for all of the Realms of Pugmire, but a lot of times folks will hold off on backing supplements – which we know from long experience – but this time it’s so much more than just that.

Plus, we’d really like to get this traditionally printed and in stores like Pugmire and Monarchies of Mau, but we can’t OK that unless we get over the funding goal (and into all the cool Stretch Goals). So, give it a looksee, me hearties! Don’t be scurvy dogs! https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/200664283/pirates-of-pugmire-a-realms-of-pugmire-tabletop-rpg

Trinity Continuum: Aeon art by Gregor Pedrycz

Most of our talk in today’s meeting was setting everything up for our trip out to UK Games Expo. Mighty Matt and I are headed out in order to get there Wednesday, and Eddy will meet up with us and Matthew on Thursday to set up the booth and welcome Steffie de Vaan, John Burke, Chris Allen, and Klara Herbol, as they all roll in throughout the day.

Then, it is demos and chatting to folks in the booth – and directing those interested in purchasing our stuff to our friends at the Leisure Games booth. Matthew and I were enthusing about recreating entire scenes from Miller’s Crossing, in character and voices, or maybe doing Dueling Walkens if we get left alone at the booth – so watch out.

Like I said a couple of weeks ago, we’re experimenting with different booth/demo/sales arrangements depending on the con, and we’re starting with this one.

If you missed it before, here’s the UKGE hall map:

We also finalized the prizes for the Contagion Chronicle “tournament” our creators are running that culminates in a final round for all the declared winners of the previous Chronicles of Darkness games. Really looking forward to seeing how this event plays out!

Also really looking forward to Curry Take-Away if we can get it, but that’s just my personal thing I’m fascinated by. We do not have it around these parts.

Shunned By The Moon art by Leo Albiero

Since I’ll be gone still next week, our own Dynamic Dixie Cochran will be guest-writing this blog! So please make her feel welcome. Other than the updates, I have no idea what she’ll choose to write about, but I’m sure you’re all in good hands.

I hope.

Speaking of Dixie – thanks to all of you who left questions for her interview with me for the Onyx Pathcast. Some guy named Eddy Webb was there too, and they posted it last Friday. The link’s below in the Onyx Path Media section of the MMN, and I had a great time chatting with the Trio (minus Matthew).

Both of them (but mostly Dixie) were great at keeping me on point as I do love to ramble on, and their questions tended to deal with the olden days – although we got into the future of our projects and the Pathcast itself, so it wasn’t all lookin’ back stuff.

The other big category of questions, and I get these all the time, were of the “What is your favorite X” kind. Where most of the Xs are Clan, or Book, or Game Line, sort of subjects. Which are so hard for me to honestly answer since I really do have a lot of favorites in those categories for different reasons. But it’s also really rough to say that I love X as your bashful publisher.

If I name one thing, the folks who love all the others may think I’m not necessarily going to push anything but the one I said was my favorite. Or the creators of the others now think I think they didn’t do a good job. That’s not really something it’s worth risking.

If only people asked non-work related questions like Favorite Color (purple), or Favorite Inker of Gene Colan’s Comic Book Pencils (Tom Palmer). Favorite Novel Set On A Desert Planet, even (Dune). Those I can answer!

One question I have received a fair bit these last couple of months that we didn’t cover, and that I now can answer, is when is Scion going on sale to non-KS backers? Well, we’ll be putting the PDF and PoD versions up for sale next Wednesday, June 5th on DTRPG to match when retailers should have the traditionally printed books to sell.

Trinity Continuum: Aeon art by Gunship Revolution

Finally, I’m told that the D&D sale at DTRPG is featuring our Scarred Lands books until the end of the month with super discounts. Which is cool, because our 5e Scarred Lands plans are really heating up! Here’s a link: https://www.drivethrurpg.com/featured.php?promotion_id=2019SlarecianMay

I’ll be finalizing plans for the new 5e Creature Collection with Jon Hodgson, who is handling the creation of the book and running the Kickstarter, at UKGE, and we’ll be announcing a new developer for the line and the projects they are overseeing once we get back. Plus, on the Scarred Lands Community Content site, the Slarecian Vault, the beginning of July marks the start of a phenomenal linked adventure series you will not want to miss!

Just to give you one more teaser before I leave the country, the beginning of July will also mean the start of something folks here also ask me about all the time, but before then – on June 13th even – we’ll be starting a little treat for everyone that leads into the July event. Keep your eyes peeled, and tally-ho, old chap, right into our

Many Worlds, One Path!

BLURBS!

KICKSTARTER:

Our Pirates of Pugmire Kickstarter is more than half-way funded, so swing over to our ship and check it out you sea-dogs!

Pirates of Pugmire is a chronicle sourcebook for both Pugmire and Monarchies of Mau. It’s usable in either game, or as part of a joint experience. Some highlights include: * Two new species for players to enjoy: lizards and birds * Six new callings, including two for dogs and two for cats * Rules for building, sailing, and sinking ships * A trove of new allies, enemies, and treasures * Information on Waterdog Port and Port Matthew * “Going on the Account,” a chronicle of three new adventures, taking characters from 1st through 6th level

You can also hear Eddy discuss the writing and design of Pirates of Pugmire on this week’s Onyx Pathcast podcast on your favorite podcast venues, or here on : https://onyxpathcast.podbean.com/)

ONYX PATH MEDIA

Illustration by Charles Bates

This Friday’s Onyx Pathcast is the first episode in Dixie, Eddy, and Matthew’s actual play of Scion!: https://onyxpathcast.podbean.com/

And Here’s More Media About Our Worlds:

The Onyx Path News will return later this week with more than one exciting release announcement!

In actual plays, as Matthew ran Scion: Origin for Eddy and Dixie live last week! The video is in two parts and will be edited for the Onyx Pathcast, but here’s part one of the Miami Hotel story for your enjoyment: https://youtu.be/uEzgr74CfOE Don’t steal from Poseidon!

It’s actual plays a-go-go, we have uploaded parts one and two of our Pirates of Pugmire playthrough, run by Travis Legge, to our Onyx Path YouTube account! Travis is a superb author and a fantastic Guide for the players, and we sincerely recommend you check these two videos out. Here’s part one: https://youtu.be/fU9y3tl77GM and here’s part two: https://youtu.be/rSzjLVW1rnQ

Fandible have uploaded the second part of their excellent They Came From Beneath the Sea! actual play, and it’s available for listening right here: http://www.fandible.com/they-came-from-beneath-the-sea-the-things-that-slither-2-of-2/ Please check this one out!

They Came from Beneath the Sea: The Things That Slither 2 of 2

We can’t get away from the superb talents of Travis Legge, as here is his Scarred Lands actual play on the Myths & Matchmakers series: https://youtu.be/zq4Uw1YaS9g

The Story Told Podcast have reached episode six of their Dragon-Blooded actual play. This episode closes out the dinner party at Kai’s villa and follows the Dragon-Blooded into the evening. https://thestorytold.libsyn.com/

Caffeinated Conquests are picking up a good number of viewers for their actual play of Scarred Lands‘ Gauntlet of Spiragos (they have gone totally off-piste by this point) and they’re incredibly entertaining to watch every time: https://youtu.be/lD7V7fm3cso

Twin Cities by Night continues with their Hunter’s Hunted II actual play, reaching an impressive episode 16! If you’re into long-form plays, give this one a go! https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-rg9ye-b19cb0

And of course, Red Moon Roleplaying, podcasters extraordinaire, have uploaded another episode of The Great Vilhaim Heist, a Scarred Lands game run by Matthew Dawkins: https://www.redmoonroleplaying.com/ Keep your eye on Red Moon Roleplaying, as soon they’ll be running The Sacrifice, from Chicago by Night!

Please check any of these out and let us know if you find or produce any actual plays of our games!

ELECTRONIC GAMING:

As we find ways to enable our community to more easily play our games, the Onyx Dice Rolling App is now live! Our dev team has been doing updates since we launched based on the excellent use-case comments by our community, and this thing is both rolling and rocking!

Here’s an update from the App devs:

We’ve been having trouble fixing the android bug that messes up the resolution for newer phones. I think we have a fix for that. It was also brought up that the store display is wrong on most tablet devices, so that is getting fixed too. That should all be soon!

ON AMAZON AND BARNES & NOBLE:

You can now read our fiction from the comfort and convenience of your Kindle (from Amazon) and Nook (from Barnes & Noble).

If you enjoy these or any other of our books, please help us by writing reviews on the site of the sales venue you bought it from. Reviews really, really help us with getting folks interested in our amazing fiction!

Our selection includes these fiction books:

OUR SALES PARTNERS:

We’re working with Studio2 to get Pugmire out into stores, as well as to individuals through their online store. You can pick up the traditionally printed main book, the Screen, and the official Pugmire dice through our friends there! https://studio2publishing.com/search?q=pugmire

We’ve added Prince’s Gambit to our Studio2 catalog: https://studio2publishing.com/products/prince-s-gambit-card-game

Now, we’ve added Changeling: The Lost 2nd Edition products to Studio2‘s store! See them here: https://studio2publishing.com/collections/all-products/changeling-the-lost

Scarred Lands (Pathfinder) books are also on sale at Studio 2: https://studio2publishing.com/collections/scarred-lands

Looking for our Deluxe or Prestige Edition books? Try this link! http://www.indiepressrevolution.com/xcart/Onyx-Path-Publishing/

And you can now order Pugmire, Monarchies of Mau, Cavaliers of Mars, and Changeling: The Lost 2e! http://www.indiepressrevolution.com/xcart/manufacturers.php?manufacturerid=296

DRIVETHRURPG.COM:

On Sale This Week!

This Wednesday, we have both our regular monthly Exalted 3rd PDF offerings AND the Advance PDF release of The Realm all on DTRPG!

CONVENTIONS

UK Games Expo: THIS WEEK! May 31st – June 2nd From the US comes Eddy Webb, Matt McElroy, and Rich Thomas to join with Matthew Dawkins, Steffie de Vaan, John Burke, Chris Allen, and Klara Herbol! Gen Con: August 1st – August 4th Save Against Fear: Oct 12-14 GameHoleCon: October 31st – November 3rd We’ll also be back at PAX Unplugged later this year.

And now, the new project status updates!

DEVELOPMENT STATUS FROM FAST EDDY WEBB (projects in bold have changed status since last week):

First Draft (The first phase of a project that is about the work being done by writers, not dev prep)

M20 Victorian Mage (Mage: the Ascension 20th Anniversary Edition)

Geist2e Fiction Anthology (Geist: The Sin-Eaters 2nd Edition)

Exalted Essay Collection (Exalted)

Scion: Demigod (Scion 2nd Edition)

Trinity Continuum Jumpstart (Trinity Continuum Core)

Wraith20 Fiction Anthology (Wraith: The Oblivion 20th Anniversary Edition)

One Foot in the Grave Jumpstart (Geist: The Sin-Eaters 2e)

Dragon-Blooded Novella #2 (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Exigents (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Terra Firma (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

Titanomachy (Scion 2nd Edition)

Crucible of Legends (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Redlines

Monsters of the Deep (They Came From Beneath the Sea!)

Tales of Aquatic Terror (They Came From Beneath the Sea!)

Scion: Dragon (Scion 2nd Edition)

Kith and Kin (Changeling: The Lost 2e)

Masks of the Mythos (Scion 2nd Edition)

Second Draft

Tales of Good Dogs – Pugmire Fiction Anthology (Pugmire)

Dragon-Blooded Novella #1 (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Across the Eight Directions (Exalted 3rd Edition)

TC: Aeon Ready Made Characters (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

Mummy: The Curse 2nd Edition core rulebook (Mummy: The Curse 2nd Edition)

City of the Towered Tombs (Cavaliers of Mars)

TC: Aeon Jumpstart (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

Legendlore core book (Legendlore)

Development

WoD Ghost Hunters (World of Darkness)

Oak, Ash, and Thorn: Changeling: The Lost 2nd Companion (Changeling: The Lost 2nd)

M20 The Technocracy Reloaded (Mage: the Ascension 20th Anniversary Edition)

Creatures of the World Bestiary (Scion 2nd Edition)

Heirs to the Shogunate (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Scion Companion: Mysteries of the World (Scion 2nd Edition)

Deviant: The Renegades (Deviant: The Renegades)

Chicago Folio/Dossier (Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition)

Let The Streets Run Red (Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition)

Cults of the Blood Gods (Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition)

Heroic Land Dwellers (They Came From Beneath the Sea!)

DR:E Threat Guide (Dystopia Rising: Evolution)

DR:E Jumpstart (Dystopia Rising: Evolution)

Manuscript Approval:

Trinity Continuum: Aberrant core (Trinity Continuum: Aberrant)

Pirates of Pugmire (Realms of Pugmire)

Memento Mori: the GtSE 2e Companion (Geist: The Sin-Eaters 2nd Edition)

Night Horrors: Nameless and Accursed (Mage: the Awakening Second Edition)

Hunter: the Vigil 2e core (Hunter: the Vigil 2nd Edition)

Editing:

Spilled Blood (Vampire: The Requiem 2nd Edition)

CofD Dark Eras 2 (Chronicles of Darkness)

Lunars: Fangs at the Gate (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Blood Sea: Crimson Abyss for 5e (Scarred Lands)

Post-Editing Development:

M20 Book of the Fallen (Mage: the Ascension 20th Anniversary Edition)

V5 Chicago By Night (Vampire: The Masquerade)

V5 Chicago By Night Screen (Vampire: The Masquerade)

CofD Contagion Chronicle (Chronicles of Darkness)

Witch-Queen of the Shadowed Citadel (Cavaliers of Mars)

Distant Worlds (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

Scion Ready Made Characters (Scion 2nd Edition)

Indexing:

Trinity Aeon

ART DIRECTION FROM MIRTHFUL MIKE:

In Art Direction

Ex3 Monthly Stuff

They Came From Beneath the Sea! – Art notes in.

EX3 Lunars

Hunter: The Vigil 2

Contagion Chronicle

VtR Spilled Blood – Contracted.

M20 Book of the Fallen – More sketches coming in.

Dark Eras 2 – More sketches coming in.

Pirates of Pugmire – KS art in, the rest has been contracted.

Trinity Continuum: Aberrant – KS art notes and contracts going out.

Scion Ready Made Characters

TC Aeon: Distant Worlds

Marketing Stuff

In Layout

Trinity Continuum Core

Cavs – Witch Queen of the Shadowed Citadel

V5 Chicago By Night

Proofing

Signs of Sorcery – Inputting final Dev note changes.

Aeon Aexpansion – In 2nd Proof.

C20 Cup of Dreams Novel

Scion Jumpstart

Dystopia Rising: Evolution

Shunned By The Moon

At Press

Scion Hero – Shipped to backers, PoD coupon out to backers.

Scion Origin – Shipped to backers, PoD coupon out to backers.

In Media Res – PDF out to backers, gathering errata with new sheet.

Geist 2e – PDF out to backers, gathering errata with new sheet.

Adventures for Curious Cats – PoD proof ordered.

Tales of Excellent Cats – PoD proof ordered.

Dragon-Blooded – Deluxe printing.

Dragon-Blooded Screen – At printer.

Trinity Core and Aeon Screens – Files at printer.

The Realm – Advance PDF on sale on DTRPG this Weds, Backer PDF already to backers, errata gathering from both.

TODAY’S REASON TO CELEBRATE:

Today is Memorial Day here in the US, where we honor our fallen members of the armed forces. It’s a national holiday, and it’s also important to reflect on the sacrifices many have made that ultimately allow us to have lives where we can make and play games.

#Onyx Path Publishing

5 notes · View notes

septic84 · 5 years

Text

Pancakes and Corn.

Interactive Introverts was amazing, it was one of the coolest things I had been a part of and I was still in awe that I even was able to attend. My best friend was the only reason I could, so for my birthday (That happened a few days after), she drove us to the show. We were on the way back to where we were staying when we decided to stop at a gas station. I made no particular note of the bus that was parked in the back, or the group of people who were standing near it, as I walked into the station.

A03:

I was tired, I was not used to things like this, in fact, this was the only “show” I had ever really gone too. We were 4 hours from home, two from where we were staying and It was way past my bedtime. I was tired, but the excitement kept me alert.

“You gonna make it?” She asked me. “Of course, I am fricken zazzed!” She laughed at me.

“My wallet is on the bus,” I heard a familiar voice say. “Well, so is mine you spoon, doesn't anyone else have theirs?”

“I don't know! We all just kind of ran out of the bus, remember?”

My best friend cocked an eyebrow at me as I rounded the corner and saw both Dan and Phil standing there, bickering.

“Is that-?” she whispered as I cut her off.

“Yes, shh.”

They looked tired, flustered and lost. (like tired flustered and lost giraffes of course, because with us both being about 5'0, they were giants.)

“We need to figure something out Phil, you need to eat.”

“I know.” He said dryly.

Suddenly my mind was made up. I felt like I was going to throw up but still I approached them.

“Hey, maybe we shouldn't,” my best friends voice echoed behind me.

“Hello,” I said as I approached them.

“Hello,” Dan responded, his voice was tense. He had immediately changed his tone as he noticed my Manchester shirt. "How are you?"

“Hey.” Phil forced a smile.

“Sounds like you're having some trouble?” I asked, my voice embarrassingly went up two octaves, my best friend snickered behind me. I turned to her. “Shut up.”

Phil smirked

Dan sighed and quietly thought for a moment, looking between Nola and I. “The carbon dioxide detector went off in the bus. They can't tell if we are in grave danger or if it's a malfunction. They have a tech on their way now, but as it is,” Dan checked his phone “10:30 Pm on a Friday, it may take a while.” Dan sighed.

“Yikes.”

“Yes, we left everything on the bus,” Phil said.

“I can help. May I get you something? Pop, coffee or water? Anything?”

“Oh, no. That's okay, we will be fine.” Phil said rushed, Dan didn't look so convinced.

“Listen, it's no trouble. Honestly.”

Dan again glanced at my shirt. “No, we really shouldn't bother you. But it was nice for you to ask.”

It was my shirt, they felt uncomfortable because I was one of their viewers. I guess I could see that. Well, it was time for a change then. "Can you wait here a sec?” I asked

“There are too many bugs outside right now, so this is where we will be,” Dan responded. “Yep, summer in Wisconsin. Bugs and road construction.” I said. “Excuse us, please.” I pulled my best friend over to the side. “Keys!”

“Okay?” She handed them to me, still confused.

“Go make small talk”

“What? Why me? You're an asshole. You are the one that is obsessed with them!”

“Exactly. I have to go to your car; I'll be right back.” Nola was very patient with me, she wasn't really their fan, I just pulled her along for the ride. She had listened to me "fangirl" so much over Dan and Phil, I am sure I was annoying. I couldn't help it, I think she understood that and tolerated me. I started my way towards the door.

“Really?” I heard as I exited the building.

I went to the back of her small SUV and found my bag. In the dark, in the back seat, I hurried to take off my shirt and switch it with the flannel that I had, rolling up the sleeves. I took off all jewelry that was cat whisker themed. I wiped off most of my makeup and undid my hair so now it was in a messy bun like usual. Hopefully, now I looked like a normal person and not a fan.

I walked back in to find my best friend doing her best to fulfill my request.

“Hi,” I said as if we had never spoken. “I really respect both of you and I understand you may be uncomfortable, so let's start over. My name is Avery, this is my best friend, Nola. We are not local around here either, but we live in this state. We are over 18, way over.”

“Hey!” Nola exclaimed.

“What? It's true, isn't it? We are.”

“Oh my God, Av, you make us sound like we are 50!”

“Shh!” I turned back to them, “Anyway, it seems like you are in a circumstance that requires assistance.” I pulled out my wallet. “In this neck of the woods, we help when we can. Well, we do anyway. You can act like you don't know that we know who you are, relax and let me,”

“Us!” Nola protested

“Okay, us, help you. Let's just be people, not involve your “jobs” in it. Yeah? I can handle that. My job doesn't come into play when I meet new people or when I need help. So, gents, what will it be? You look exhausted Are you hungry?”

Phil glanced at Dan; Dan glanced at Phil. “Ah, can we have a second?”

Nola laughed through her nose softly. “Of course.” She pulled me closer to the front of the store. “You do realize what you are doing, right?”

“Trying to help?”

“No, not that. I am used to that. I know you. You are probably breaking some “tour” code or rule. This could be a PR nightmare if it were to go south. They probably are worried or scared.”

“Of us?” I asked incredulously laughing loudly. “Two chubby thirty-somethings in a gas station at 11:00 PM? Oh boy, so scary! It's not like we are intoxicated, either. That would have bad news written all over it. We are in Wisconsin, not LA.” I shook my head

“But still, Av. They are from London. Do you see a tall building here? No, you don't. You see orange cones and cornfields. I bet their manager would hate this.”

“Well, I don't see her anywhere, so maybe she isn't here?”

“Maybe not, but-”

“Ladies?” Dan called. I spun around; Dan was right next to me.

“Jesus Christ!” I screamed as I jumped.

“Ah, sorry.”

Nola at this point was beside herself laughing. She knew how jumpy I was. If I didn't love her so much, I would disown her.

“Oh, hardy har har, Nol, I got scared, big surprise." I turned to Dan. “It's fine, I'm jumpy.”

“So, we have decided to take you up on your hospitality.”

I smiled. “Thank you! So, here's the next hard question.” I glanced at Nola, “Do you want to get food and things here or did you want to go to an actual restaurant. I saw A Perkins a few miles down the road. They are 24 hours.” she glared at me, I had just volunteered her to take us all to a restaurant. I knew really she didn't mind, but at the moment, she wasn't too thrilled with the sudden offer and change in plans.

“Um,” Phil said. He seemed like he was not sure about this newly introduced idea, either.

“I know this is all weird.” Nola offered. “Honestly, we are just trying to help.” I guess she wasn't too mad at me.

“What she said. Yeah, this is strange, I know you don't know us, but I could, like give you my driver's license? So, like you can see I am who I say?” Phil didn't seem to relax. “Hey, Mr. Lester? It's gonna be okay. I swear.”

Dan laughed “Mr. Lester?”

“Well, I don't really know you, so I figured....”

“Oh my god, they are adorable Phil!” Phil shook his head smiling but seemed to agree. Much to Nola's chagrin.

“We are not!” she protested.

“Hey, speak for yourself!” I retorted.

“Not the time, Avery.” She said through clenched teeth. I could tell Nola was getting uncomfortable. So could Dan.

“Please, Dan and Phil,” Dan replied softly.

“Okay, Dan and Phil, do you guys want to go and get food or eat gas station food?” Nola asked, still a little annoyed. “Avery gets very hangry; we haven't eaten for hours. It's going to get nasty soon.”

“Hey!” I protested. “I am not that bad!”

“Um, sure.” Nola patted my arm “It's okay.”

Dan smirked. “Phil won't admit it, either.”

Phil rolled his eyes. “Can we take security with us?” Dan sideways glanced at him.

“I figured you would. You don't know us. I could still give you my ID.” I said, trying not to roll my eyes. “I mean I get it, who the hell knows what could be lurking in the depths of a Perkins at 11:00 PM sandwiched between cones, hayfields, and corn.”

“Uh oh, it's starting,” Nola said. “It's almost too late. The hangry beast is about to make its debut.”

“No, it's not. I wasn't trying to be rude; I was being serious... Or at least trying to be.” I protested. She ignored me.

“It's going to get worse before it gets better. So, go get your bodyguards and meet us out at the red SUV under pump 14. We will wait.” Nola smiled and pulled my arm leading me away. We paid for the items we needed and went back out to the car.

“Gee thanks, Nol. Way to make me look like a baby.”

“I didn't want you to embarrass yourself. You are hangry right now, Av. Just accept it. I also was trying to make them more comfortable.” She sighed. “Oh yeah, thanks for just leaving me with them while you changed by the way. I had to make small talk. You KNOW I hate that. Also, for volunteering me to go out to dinner with your favorite YouTubers. Like, not awkward at all right?”

“I love you, Nola. Thank you.”

“Yeah, Yeah. I hope they don't mind a messy back seat if they are riding with us. I am sure there are fruit loops and toys all over.”

I smirked.

“Also, holy hell they are tall.”

“Yeah, they are.”

“The things I do for you, I swear.”

“You are the best friend ever.”

After about 10 minutes they approached with a bodyguard that looked like he could kill us with his thumb.

“Holy shit, look at captain buff there,” I said.

“He makes them look small; he makes us look like ants.”

I opened the door and smiled.

“Okay,” Phil said, “This is Hank, part of our security team. He has to ride with us.”

“Hello, Hank.”

“May I see your identifications, please?” He asked, formally. This dude was intimidating.

“Sure,” I got out my license and handed it to him, Nola did the same.

“Good. This is good.” He turned to Dan and Phil. “We are okay with this,”

As they got into the vehicle, it was a tight squeeze, Hank was sat in the middle.

“There is surprisingly a lot of legroom,” Phil said to Dan as if he didn't recall the circumstance at hand.

“You are lucky we are short,” Nola said, glancing in the rearview.

Dan picked up a stuffed rabbit on the floor.

“That's Mr. Fluffy pants. He and my youngest have had a bit of a falling out.”

I smirked. On the way down here, her youngest was scolding that poor rabbit for about 5 miles. “So, Perkins then?”

“Yes, please,” Phil responded. “I'm not sure what that is, but if there is food, let's go.”

I laughed, “Sorry, 'round here it's a common household name. Yes, it's a restaurant.” A car was following closely behind us, I glanced at Nola who seemed uneasy.

“Is there more security behind us?” I asked as casually as I could.

“Yes,” was what Hank responded.

“Sorry, we are not used to being followed. For us, that is out of place. Had to make sure.” I responded.

“Sorry,” Dan said. “We are so used to it, It never occurred to me that it may be concerning to someone else.”

“Well, at least now I don't have to get us lost trying to lose them,” Nola muttered.

“Not that you couldn't though.”

“Avery, shut up, okay?”

“Yes, ma'am.”

“Is this what we sound like?” Dan asked Phil.

“Maybe.”

“You've known each other half the time that we have,” I said. "If you don't, you will in 10 years,” Nola smirked.

We were seated at a table, Dan and Phil on one side, Nola and I on the other. Hank and the other security team members were seated in booths around us.

“Get what you'd like,” I said to Dan and Phil. "Do you guys need to eat?" I called over to the security team.

"No," Hank said, "We're fine, ma'am."

“Thanks, it was really nice to include us all. Even our team," Dan said, motioning behind him

“Yeah, this is all very kind of you both,” Phil said.

I blushed. “Ah, yeah.”

“Phil, stop,” Dan whispered.

“So,” Nola asked, breaking the tension. “Fortnite, huh?” She had heard me talking about Phil's victory tweet and must have remembered. Thank God she remembered.

“Yeah, haven't had a chance to play in a while, world tour and all,” Phil responded. “Do you game?'

“I do. Not Fortnite.”

“Oh?”

“Not my style.”

Phil looked at me “Do you game?”

“Well, I sure try. I am not very good, but I enjoy it.”

“Fortnite?”

“Nope, sorry. I'm A PUBG kiddy” I laughed “Trust me, I know it's bad.”

“I like PUBG somewhat,” Dan said. “Just... so much desync.”

“Oh, don't I know it.”

Menus were brought to the table; the server came back with drinks. Nola, Dan, and Phil continued their conversation. I smiled and listened. I couldn't believe this was happening. Nola nudged me.

“You okay?' she whispered

“Yes. I am old and tired.”

Phil laughed. “How old is old?”

“Phil!” Dan scolded “You don't ask women their ages.”

“Why?” I asked, “Women who get all uptight about getting older, need to chill the fuck out. The alternative is death. So.”

Nola scowled at me. “Avery, stop.”

“What? You know how I feel about this.”

“I know, but really? Now?”

“You either get old or you die.”

“I know, I know.”

“We're both over 30,” I said. Thankfully, the server had decided to come over to take our order at that moment, after they had gone, I looked at Phil. He had ordered a giant stack of pancakes.

“Don't you ever get sick of eating pancakes? I mean, good lord man.”

“Nope, never. You don't like them?”

“Oh, I like them just fine, just once in a while and now even less. We can't eat many carbs or much Gluten”

“Oh,” He had said.

“We refer to our medical conditions like they are Pokémon,” Nola said.

“Acid reflux disease, I choose you!” I said, smirking at her.

They didn't respond to that, but I wasn't sure how they would. It took a while to get accustomed to Nola and my "strange."

“Sorry, we took up your evening,” Dan said a short time later.

Nola laughed. “Well, typically she is asleep at this time, but I can assure you, there is nowhere Avery would rather be."

“Nola!” I hissed.

“It's true, Av,”

“I get it,” Dan said.

“Yeah,” I said. “This is the strangest small talk conversation I have ever been a part of,” I laughed. “Like, is this real life?”

“It better be,” Phil said, “I really want those pancakes.” We all laughed.

After we had eaten and paid, we were making our way back to Nola’s car when Dan said.

“We should take pictures together.”

“Should we?”

“Well, if you want. I would like to tweet about Wisconsin hospitality.”

“Wa-scon-sin.” I corrected. “It's not West-con-sin.”

“Avery, stop it.”

“Well, I want them to know how to say it properly!”

Dan laughed, “Noted, so here?” We all gathered in frame and took a few shots, first with his phone, then with Nola's.

“You're okay that we tweet this?”

I looked at Nola, she nodded. “You remember how crazy I told you the Phannies get, right?” Both Dan and Phil nodded emphatically.

“Yeah, I think I can handle it.”

“Okay, then yeah, we're good.”

The drive back to their bus was mostly quiet, I was trying not to fall asleep. As much as Nola had roasted me while we were eating, It wasn't untrue. When we arrived, we walked them back to their bus.

“Well, looks liked you're good,” Nola said.

“Thank you both so much. We had such a good evening.” Phil said.

“You're welcome, honestly though, it was no trouble.”

“We are going to remember this night when we are old ladies rocking on a porch,” Nola said and I nodded in agreement.

“Have a safe trip to your next destination,”

“Thanks,” Dan said, holding his arms out. I hugged him, then Phil.

When we had said our final goodbyes, we walked reluctantly back to the SUV, I could tell Nola was as sad the night was over as much as I was.

“It was really the best birthday present in the world for this to have happened,”

“Yeah, I know. I am never topping this, you realize.”

I laughed, “I am just thankful you took me to see the show in the first place, this was just a delightful bonus” Suddenly our phones started to chime. “I guess they tweeted.”

“Two gracious Wisconsin ladies took care of and fed us tonight when our bus had a malfunction, locking all of our wallets inside. Thank you, Avery and Nola. We hope when we have been friends for 20 years, we are just like you.” And there was the picture, Dan, Phil, Nola and I.

“Holy shit,” I muttered.

“We're Twitter famous.”

“For now, yeah.”

I replied to Phil's Tweet. “You nerds will never be as cool as we are, but keep trying. (Ps: You're welcome.) “

"We probably are going to want to turn off our notifications for a while.” “Yeah, probably.”

“This is unreal.”

“This is going to be a story for parties for sure.”

“If we ever go to parties again, we don't have any other friends.”

“Will we had better make some and get invited to parties. We pretty much have too now, we have an epic story,”

I laughed, “I love you, Nola,”

“Love ya too.”

#phanfiction #pff bingo 2019

0 notes

theclaringtonhq · 5 years

Photo

thehuntison uploaded a new video to youtube:

“All right you guys, this is the second video in as many days where I’m not in the gym and I don’t even know what’s up with that, except that I don’t like to lose so... here you go,” Hunter said with a sigh. “I also don’t like to talk about myself so I wrote these down first because honestly.... I’m not that interesting and if it’s not public knowledge, I like to keep it that way usually.” He pulled out a sheet of paper and started reading from it.

1. I’m named after the town I was born in. Hunter AFB in Georgia. I’m a real southern boy y’all.

2. Yes, I’m a taurus. That apparently makes me a bull and I suppose most of the time that applies to me.

3. I always made good grades in school but I didn’t finish school. My favorite subjects though were American and World History. And geography.

4. I didn’t read the Harry Potter books until after the games in London in 2012.

5. I have regional level, national level, international and even world level medals but not an Olympic one.

6. I don’t like squid or octopus. Sea food is hit and miss for me.

7. I’m allergic to pine nuts so no pesto for me.

8. I’d never watched much tv or movies, so most of my pop culture references come from my first relationship.

9. I’m don’t know much about electronics or technology. What I do know I learned along the way. I took my brother shopping for a TV for my room.

10. Yes, I’ve read fan fiction. I’ve even helped edit and verify the accuracy of some.

11. My favorite meal is a good grilled steak with caramelized mushrooms, onions, mashed potatoes and almost any vegetable on the side.

12. I’ve owned two cats in my life. Mr. Whiskers and Mr. Cat are the only pets I’ve personally had.

13. My favorite superhero is Captain America.

14. My favorite villain, apart from myself, is Cruella De Ville.

15. I can honestly count on one hand the number of crushes I’ve had.

16. I don’t have the best relationship with my parents but family is family and I’ll always wish I wasn’t a disappointment to them. More so, there is NOTHING I wouldn’t do for my siblings.

17. I’m four classes short of my degree but if I were to go back to school now, I’d probably study something different; I’m just not entirely sure what.

18. My favorite alcoholic drink is tequila. Straight, with oj, or in a screwdriver. But I drink whiskey socially because that way I don’t drink so much of it.

19. My favorite non alcoholic drink is water.

20. My favorite treat is black licorice.

21. I still organize my closet the way I learned at military camp.

22. I still make my bed every day within minutes of getting up, with hospital corners and all, as if I was going to be inspected; not that it’s an easy task with someone else still in the bed.

23. My favorite color is a light blue-gray. Or titanium.

24. I’ve owned my jeep since I started driving which is just over ten years now.

25. The song Iris has always resonated with me.

26. My current favorite song is Easier by Five Seconds of Summer/ or Don’t Give Up on Me by Andy Grammar.

27. My mother was the one that thought gymnastics would make me a better, more agile solider.

28. She and my grandmother were the ones that decided every good cadet knew how to ballroom dance too.

29. I do watch the shows from bachelor nation. It started with my roommates at the training center in Colorado. Even when I was living on my own, we had our watching parties most weeks.

30. I never wanted to be in the military, but it was what was expected of me.

31. I still don’t necessarily know what I want to do with my life. But I’m enjoying what I’m doing right now even if the lack of structure drives me crazy sometimes.

32. I wear shorts and a tee shirt or tank top about 90 percent of the time now.

33. I don’t think I could live without a pool.

34. I own 12 pairs of sneakers.

35. I like to go barefoot. Completely barefoot. It’s why I like the beach. Although you do have to be careful there sometimes.

36. To go with that thought though, I don’t wear socks or shoes in my room or at all in the condo I share with Tina and Sam if I can help it. If I go to someone’s house, I usually toe off my shoes right at the door at the very least.

37. I’d wanted to go to the Santa Monica Pier ever since I moved out to LA and I only just went for the first time in the last couple of weeks.

38. I’ve skydived, bungee jumped, and learned how to use a trapeze.

39. I want to go hang gliding though.

40. I learned to surf and scuba dive in Hawaii even if I was only there for short visits between school breaks when my parents were stationed there.

41. My favorite place to live was Colorado. Maybe because I’ve lived there the longest. And maybe because at one point I thought it would be a forever home.

42. My cat is named after “Cat” in Breakfast at Tiffany’s. Holly was right. People don’t belong to people. But we can make the choice to be with them.

43. I have no tattoos or piercings. But it’s not ruled out either.

44. I have a small scar from my operation.

45. I’ve maybe been in love once.

46. My middle name is Walter.

47. I’ve never done drugs or smoked cigarettes. It’s just not for me.

48. I hit a really low point after Rio. I started going back to see a therapist regularly after that.

49. I’ve seen a therapist off and on since I was 16. I’m not ashamed- but I also won’t talk about the why’s of it. I just think it’s important to break the stigma around mental health and taking care of yourself.

50. I know I’m not what people would classify as a “good” person. But some days I do actually try.

Hunter looked up, almost physically pained as he finished sharing the fifty items. “Well, that’s it. Now you all know me about as well as anyone else.”

#ihq:vlogwars #ihq:rocknryot #ihq:donate #hqhunter:musings #//strikes are not said #points:5

0 notes

kennadavenportgayle · 7 years

Text

92 things tag

I was tagged by @pbophelia @maxwellbaemont and @zigsexual

I don’t know who to tag cuz it seems like everyone has done it so if you want to do this then I tag you!

The last:

1. Drink: Water, so exciting

2. Phone call: A random ass number, no idea who it was

3. Text message: A text to my college friends, I sent a meme that represents our (well now my old) college

4. Song you listened to: The last time by TSwift

5. Time you cried: Honestly idk??? I think when I had mono a month ago and was in so much pain I had a break down.

Have you ever:

6. Dated someone twice: yes, do not do it lol

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: yes? but i didn’t really have a choice cuz it was for this scene I had to do a few years ago and my director told me to kiss him and he was the worst kisser lmao. And i hooked up with this guy a few months ago and he stopped talking to me after we did so i totally regret that and i kissed this other guy i hooked up with and he later asked to have my friend’s number so i regret that. I’ve kissed so many people wtf XD

8. Been cheated on: I am 99% sure that I have been cheated on

9. Lost someone special: yes, but I don’t try to dwell on those things cuz if someone was meant to be in your life than they’ll come back so like I just move on lol. I cut people out of my life too much haha

10. Been depressed: lmao yes I was diagnosed with depression like five years ago so lol yeah

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: the next morning I did but not at the time of me being drunk lol don’t tell my mom

List three favorite colors:

12. Pink

13: Gold

14. Purple

In the last year have you:

15. Made new friends: yes

16. Fallen out of love: lmao yesssss

17. Laughed until you cried: haha yes

18. Found out someone was talking about you: hahahaha yes and I also think it’s so sad when someone talks behind my back cuz they clearly have nothing better to do

19. Met someone who changed you: sure

20. Found out who your friends are: oh hell yeah

21. Kissed someone on your facebook list: yes?

General:

22. How many of your facebook friends do you know irl: all of them

23. Do you have any pets: yes! 2 cats and 2 dogs (but I haven’t met one of my dogs cuz he lives with my dad and I had a falling out with him earlier this year)

24. Do you want to change your name: tbh yes, my name is so fucking common (my name’s Emma lmao)

25. What did you do for your last birthday: I came home the weekend before and on my actual birthday my (now ex)boyfriend came up and took me out to dinner and then I spent the next week in bed hella sick

26. What time did you wake up: 10am

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Replaying The Freshman

28. Name something you’re stoked for: Starting school at my new college and going to Paris in two weeks

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: last night before bed lmao

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: I wish I could see my little siblings more but that’s more of my dad’s fault than mine

31. What are you listening to right now: Talk too much by COIN

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yes, my uncle lol

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: nothing atm

34. Most viewed website: probably youtube

35. Mole/s: No

36. Mark/s: Yes I have a few scars on my arms/hands from various things, and I have a small scar on my cheek from my first cat

37. Childhood dream: to be a soccer player (why???? no idea I hated soccer)

38. Hair color: brunette

39. Long or short hair: I have short hair rn, I cut off 12 inches at the end of december and I miss my long hair, but I don’t regret cutting it

40. Do you have a crush on someone: lol no, I’m loving my single life

41. What do you like about yourself: I can do makeup really well and do my nails really well and I like my butt lol and I think I’m a nice person

42. Piercings: yes! three on each ear and I have my nose pierced

43. Blood type: A positive

44. Nickname: all of my boyfriends have called me kitten so i guess that counts and a lot of my friends call me Em

45. Relationship status: single and loving it

46. Zodiac: scorpio

47. Pronouns: she/her

48. Favorite tv show/s: Friends, Stranger things, The Fosters, and Jane the Virgin

49. Tattoos: I have three! One on my wrist that says “love;” with the semicolon, one on my side that says “time will bring them round again” and one on my forearm of cat whiskers that lowkey looks like a spider lol. I also want more lol

50. Right or left hand: right

51. Surgery: yes, I got my tonsils out when I was like four or five and I got my wisdom teeth out when I was 15

52. Hair dyed in different colors: yeah I’ve dyed my hair a shit ton and I dyed a streak of my hair pink at like 1am on a school night with some college friends and we all regretted it

53. Sport: I’m gonna say theatre is a sport

54. There is no 54 wtf????

55. Vacation: I’m going to France in two weeks and I wanna go to so many other places lol

56. Pair of trainers: aka sneakers to us Americans and I have like 2 or 3 or something

More General:

57. Eating: nothing atm

58. Drinking: nothing atm

59. I’m about to: Get up and get ready for the day

60. There is no 60!?!??!?!?!?

61. Waiting for: Wednesday!!!!

62. Want: to go to New York to go see Broadway shows especially Dear Evan Hansen

63. Get Married: some day, not anytime soon

64. Career: no idea

65. Hugs or kisses: both

66. Lips or eyes: Eyes

67. Shorter or taller: I’m short af so I like tall people

68. Older or younger: I’m 19 so idk???

69. There is also no 69?!?!?!?!?!

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: Arms idk??

71. Sensitive or loud: I’m both so idk

72. Hook up or relationship: hook up, I do not want to be in a relationship rn

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: Troublemaker

Have you ever:

74. Kissed a stranger: techinally yes

75. Drank hard liquor: like every single weekend I was in college lol don’t tell the cops

76. Lost contacts or glasses: surprsingly no

77. Turned someone down: YESSSSSS I’m a heartbreaker lol

78. Sex on the first date: no

79. Broken someone’s heart: fuck yeah, I’m a heartbreaker lmaoooo

80. Had your heart broken: Only like twice lol and I’m over it

81. Been arrested: lmao nooooo

82. Cried when someone died: yes

83. Fallen for a friend: fuck yeah

Do you believe in:

84. Yourself: sure

85. Miracles: not really

86. Love at first sight: nahhhh

87. Santa: no but if any of the kids I work with ask then yes

88. Kiss on the first date: yep

89. Angels: no

Other:

90. Current best friend’s name: Kelly

91. Eyecolor: a blueish hazel

92. Favorite movie: Idk I don’t really like movies

lmao okay! So i still don’t know who to tag so if you wanna do this go ahead!

#ask me #tag

3 notes · View notes

chara-killer-bear · 8 years

Note

All

smokey: do you prefer warm or cold weather?

Warm weather :”)

But I adjust pretty quickly to cold weather–

spots: what never fails to make you laugh?

M E M E S

shadow: share an interesting fact about you!

Have I ever told you another place I witnessed a haunting?

So back in my old house, where I lived there up until 4th or 5th grade, there was this huge room that belonged to my grandma.

And keep in mind that in that room my papa died in that very room, and at my evolution of thinking, the earliest memory I had of my papa was me toppling over him in his death bed in that very room at the age of 3 or 4, next thing you know it I hear the ambulance coming right after, and until I was 9 or 10 years old, my grandma told me I must be imagining things because she told me my papa died in the hospital.

So one day, when my grandma was out to work and my mom and I were left in the house, my grandma’s room was dark, everything was silent.

Until we heard a crash.

So when we checked back in my grandma’s room, the lights were turned back on again, and there was no sign of a fallen object anywhere.

My mom brushed it off saying it’s “no surprise” considering that my papa died in that very room, however, I didn’t know at the time that my memory of my papa was actually true. So when I brought up about how my grandma told me he died in the hospital, my mom gave me a strange look and said to me “No, he died in this very room, and you were the last one to see him alive.”

It still creeps me out to this day, the fact that I was able to remember that one memory of him before he passed and the fact that the only memory I have of him is the moment before he passed, but he was an awesome Papa–

sunny: do you like planning out things?

On some occasions, yes- especially very important ones–

fred: best bad pickup line you’ve heard?

The ones still left in my inbox :”)

pumpkin: do you consider yourself to be a spacey person?

In some times, yes, because I know that my mind drifts off to other subjects at times–

callie: do you worry a lot? or are you carefree?

Both at the same time :”)

It just depends on the situation

tabitha: talk about one of your favorite pass times!

- Talking to the bae

- Drawing

- Watching Youtube

bandit: what is the strangest thing you’ve done?

The strangest thing I ever done would be being alive for this long :”)

gabriel: do you always arrive on time, or are you late? early?

Around the middle of the two– sometimes late

marshmallow: what’s your favorite thing to drink in the winter?

HOT CHOCOLATE

socks: where would you like to visit and what would you do there?

There’s too many places to choose–

lexy: do you value expensive gifts more, or ones clearly from the heart?

Ones clearly from the heart- I don’t really care whether it’s crappy or handcrafted with every nick and detail; as long as you made it from the heart, I’ll cherish it

bolt: name one thing you would like to accomplish in life

BE A M E M E

breezy: do you like sleeping?

Hella

misty: do you procrastinate a lot?

Hella

pickles: what are you afraid of? do you ever tell people irl about it?

Mostly afraid of h e i g h t s, and ye- because I get to warn them that if they so happen to stick me up in the air the first place I would scream would be in their faces :”)

pepper: do you like meeting new people?

Y E S

patches: do you envy others often?

Not really?? It’s really hard to catch me being jealous of another person–

gozer: talk about something you’re good at!

Procrastination :”)- Somehow I postpone shit to the very last minute and somehow get the work done at the very minute

cocoa: do you think it is important to make fast decisions?

Nah– I’d mostly be panicking

princess: what do you find most beautiful in life?

@static–things

ginger: is it important to be modest?

I guess so– I’m not really one to brag unless of course it’s in front of someone I despise with my whole being

peaches: do you ever go back on your word, or are you one to always keep a promise, no matter what?

One to keep promise, as long as it’s doable and the conditions are right.

spud: do you like to jump into things without thinking?

Sometimes.

mack: name one goal you’d like to accomplish this week!

Finish the fucking drawing

speckles: do you think you can be lonely, but still happy?

It’s possible– Although hard to do

willie: what’s your favorite form of expression?

uvu

ewe

rascal: are you a selfish or a selfless person?

I like to think I’m selfless..? I don’t even know myself for sure-- for all I know I’m probably a selfish person--

dottie: what do you like most about your friends?

They’re really kind, memeingful, and always concerned about me even though I tell them not to bother me- It just shows they’re always gonna stick by me no matter what.

spooky: talk about a time you wish you spoke up.

Probably around the time my friend Jenny was still alive.

joe dimeowgio: do you like group projects?

Not really…? But it also beats working alone…? I would say neutral.

senor don gato: are you very secretive?

According to bae, ye :”)

xerxes: what is your most prized possession?

My rose music box

chairman meow: do you tend to argue with people a lot?

Not really…? The last time I had to argue with someone was a few weeks ago because they were being an ass about pansexuality- until I had to hit him with my backpack and run away–

saint purrtrick: talk about someone/thing that inspires you!

- bae

- bae’s ideas

- aesthetics

- art that pops up in my dashboard/drawings I see in general :”)

ms fortune: are you easily charmed by others?

Depends…?

bob the cat: would you ever go camping? if you have, did you like it?

Camping sounds fun, with the right location and supplies– I have never actually went camping before though :”)

conductor whiskers: when was the last time you rode a train?

In 8th grade at East Coast-

tubbs: are you a picky eater?

H E L L A

mr meowgi: do you like to teach others, or be taught?

Both–

lady meow-meow: do you like being the center of attention? how about dressing up?

Center of attention: n o

Dressing up: It’s pretty fun; especially if I can cosplay characters from the fandoms I’m in

guy furry: what’s your favorite food?

S P A M M A S U B I

kathmandu: do you like to study and learn new things?

Mmhmm!

ramses the great: are you good at riddles and puzzles?

Neutral– Sometimes I can solve it in one go, the other it takes me hours–

sassy fran: talk about something you find cute!

B AE

FLOWERS AND SMALL ANIMALS

billy the kitten: do you believe in life after death?

Ye–

frosty: do you understand people easily? or do people often find you cold?

Depends on the person–

#Mun speaks

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tandem85 · 8 years

Text

Survey...thing

Okay so this is gonna be a bit weird. I came across this copypasta survey thing and thought it looked interesting judging by the first question. Had no clue of it's true length and I've been just kinda rambling on for close to 2 hours now. This tumblr has possibly the lowest traffic in recorded history, so I shouldn't have to worry about too many eyes stumbling across this. At least I hope. Eh, oh well, whatever, here it is.

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 3. - Good machines don't guarantee success, though, as RCA and Xerox and others had discovered. (The Soul of A New Machine, Tracy Kidder)

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can, What can you touch? - The wall and pillows.

3. Before you started this survey, what were you doing? - Browsing the internet after pulling an all-nighter due to insomnia and painful recollections of past mistakes.

4. What is the last thing you watched on TV? - 'The West Wing' on Netflix

5. Without looking, guess what time it is: - Eight fucking A.M.

6. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time? - 8:03 AM. End me.

7. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear? - A desk fan and the faint sound of traffic

8. When did you last step outside? What were you doing? - A few days ago, to pick up an old iMac off Craigslist

9. Did you dream last night? - No.

10. Do you remember your dreams? - On average, no. Sometimes a decent one lingers, though.

11. When did you last laugh? - I honestly have no idea.

12. Do you remember why / at what? - Not at all. Probably just a passing chuckle at something I read somewhere.

13. What is on the walls of the room you are in? - Various posters, most either from Club Nintendo or Nintendo Power, along with a few more obscure ones.

14. Seen anything weird lately? - Plenty.

15. What is the last film you saw? - All the way through? I, uh, honestly couldn't say...I have a habit of just watching bits and bobs of films I like over and over again, usually to just take in detail or just to confirm a stray thought or something. If that's the case, then Star Wars w/the theatrical mono track. If an *entire* film, then probably Aliens a month or so back.

16. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live? - Small suburban town a few miles out from some city in some state, preferably more northern than where I am now. Countryside of Oregon seems nice.

17. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy? - Probably just save it all and try to coast on it for the rest of my life.

18. Tell me something about you that most people don’t know. - the fuck is this copypasta quiz? Er, well, nobody really *knows* me so just any facet of trivia about my life would do, I guess. I'm really, *really* obsessed with EPCOT even though I've never been and I haven't even visited Disney World since 2002. I genuinely have a copy of every pavilion and attraction's soundtrack from Future World burned to CDs sitting in my car right now, and if I had to pick favorites, Horizons and Communicore get the most play time.

19. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do? - Give everyone some common sense and a better sense of care towards others. That would ((hopefully)) end a majority of conflict out there.

20. Do you like to dance? - Not really. Haven't danced since my sister's wedding back in '09. Yep, even missed prom, not that I really care.

21. Would you ever consider living abroad? - Maybe if it's like Japan or somewhere with similar power standards...I couldn't make it a month in Europe and it's 240v mains standard. My life hinges too much on tech.

22. Does your name make any interesting anagrams? - Never really thought of it. Probably not.

23. Who made the last incoming call on your phone? - ...my mother, a few days ago. I only have my immediate family's numbers saved. Not like anyone would ever really want to call me.

24. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer? - Some shitty (what I presume) in-ride recording of Horizons I wanted to play around with in an audio editor to get a decent loop or two out of...before I realized YouTube had better resources for that.

25. Last time you swam in a pool? - Years. I used to love swimming all the time when I was younger (weather permitting; my skin goes from moonlight pale to lobster red faster than it takes to boil an egg on the sun). Heck, I don't think I still have any trunks that fit anymore...

26. Type of music you like most? - Normally I'd say 70s/80s rock/pop, but I haven't listened to much outside of, er, soundtracks the past few months.

27. Type of music you dislike most? - Either country or EDM/dubstep/whatever. I can't stand singers in country, it's so painfully obvious they're forcing their voices to have this bogus accent, and dubstep/electro whatever is just screeching garbage that sounds worse than playing a data cassette through a walkman.

28. Are you listening to music right now? - No, I was trying to go to sleep earlier, now I'm just laying with a laptop sitting 2 feet from my face listening to the fan whir.

29. What color is your bedroom carpet? - Beige

30. If you could change something about your home, without worry about expense or mess, what would you do? - Expand the floorspace somehow. If where was an extra bedroom, a lot of storage problems would be solved. (lot of books and furniture. Takes up a lot of space.)

31. What was the last thing you bought? - iMac G3 off craigslist.

32. Have you ever ridden on a motorbike? - nope

33. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving? - I tried zip-lining once. Nearly broke my hands and fell 30+ feet into a ~40 degree lake. High-flying stunts ain't my thing.

34. Do you have a garden? - No, but I (as in my family) used to years ago. It was nice.

35. Do you really know all the words to your national anthem? - Yes, thanks 4kids /s

36. What is the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning? - why am I still here

37. If you could eat lunch with one famous person, who would it be? - Steve Wozniak, but my brain's so fried from exhaustion so often I'd probably royally fuck that lunch up.

38. Who sent the last text message you received? - My sister a few days ago. By mistake. Wrong "Andrew".

39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? - If I had one and if I was stupid enough to max one out, definitely 100% my local game store, The Video Game Cavern.

40. What time is bed time? - My life is in such shambles that a bed time isn't even a functioning concept in my life. It's whenever I pass out.

41. Have you ever been in a beauty pageant? - I'm a guy, so, no.

42. How many tattoos do you have? - None. I'm a total square.

43. If you don’t have any, have you ever thought of getting one? - Nah. Being broke + being a bear = never even a passing thought.

44. What did you do for your last birthday? - Nothing iirc. Had classes (then), didn't have that fancy a dinner, and just crashed that night.

45. Do you carry a donor card? - Can't be due to [insert some crap about bad bloodline]

46. Who was the last person you ate dinner with? - Ha. Ha. ha...

47. Is the glass half empty or half full? - depends on how the water got into the cup.

48. What’s the farthest-away place you’ve been? - Ohio. eh

49. When’s the last time you ate a homegrown tomato? - Not a fan of tomatoes. I think my dad still grows some during the summer (not a full garden, just like 3 veggie plants he tends in the flower beds)

50. Have you ever won a trophy? - Not really

51. Are you a good cook? - Well I haven't burned anything or cut myself yet so maybe.

52. Do you know how to pump your own gas? - Yes

53. If you could meet any one person whose deceased, who would it be? - You know, I never really thought about something like this. Honestly, not as much 'meet' but more of just have a good long talk with, my grandfather. He passed when I was 8, so I never got to really *know* him that well. I've learned more about him from his service papers than being around him a lot when I was young. So yeah, that.

54. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to school? - Lol yep in middle school, uniform and enforced dress code. Everyone hated it back then, however since it was a small school in a massive district I never kept up with anyone afterwards so I can't speak for them, but I actually adopted practices from that dress code. Belt and polo not so much, but always wearing a nice shirt and keeping it tucked in, yeah. I've dressed that way every single day since then.

55. Do you touch-type? - Yep, but I'm weird and don't use the normal home-row hand layout thing. I can type proficiently, it just looks sloppy af

56. What’s under your bed? - A lot of junk. Binder of Gen 1 Pokemon cards, a case of cassettes, stack of old model railroading magazines, old busted up laptop, some blank paper.

57. Do you believe in love at first sight? - HA. Ha. ha......

58. Think fast, what do you like right now? - warmth. seriously, it's cold and my blanket is doing nothing.

59. Where were you on Valentine’s day? - Home, all day, doing pretty much nothing. just a typical day.

60. Life motto: - I don't really have a motto but if I want to be sappy I'd just lift the one from Horizons: "If we can dream it, we can do it" but I have no dreams and I literally do nothing

61. What was the name of your first pet? - I named all my fish once, but I was 5, so I'll just skip to my first cat. 'Whiskers'. Very imaginative.

62. Do you like to go camping? - Yes. I miss it. My sister and brother-in-law used to take me camping all the time years ago...but they've since settled down, had kids, and haven't done anything like that in a while. Meanwhile I'm broke, have no gear, no friends or anything like that so I can't do jack shit about camping.

63. Is there anything going on this weekend? - Not really. Just working on that iMac I keep mentioning

64. Do you have any nicknames? - Not really. Only thing that could vaguely qualify is 'swiss', the first word of my normal username everywhere else. Which is ironic since I'm 100% not Swiss.

65. Who is your favorite musician/band? - Genesis, Collins era. aaaaaaaaaaaaaand I've just earned myself a beating.

66. What time do you get up in the morning? - I STILL HAVEN'T EVEN SLEPT YET

67. Do you wear pajamas when you sleep? - usually. just a t-shirt and pj bottoms.

68. What is the first thing people notice about you? - dunno. don't really interact with enough people to notice anything

69. What is the last movie that you saw at the cinema? - err, probably Ghostbusters. The original, not the new one. They re-released it briefly in promotion of the new one. Fucking loved the new transfer and audio mix, blew the earlier (2014 30th anniversary edition screening) out of the water.

70. Do you sing in the shower? - Nah, I prefer the sound of running water

71. What do you do most when you are bored? - browse the internet, die a little on the inside. whatever's left, at least

72. What do you do for a living? - eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

73. Do you love your job? - EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

74. Which came first the chicken or the egg? - the egg because evolutilkjoirwjga;slkdfja;lkgja;eruhmynf;djva;n

75. How many keys on your key ring? - 3

76. Are you close with your parents? - physically too close, emotionally, further than the moons around jupiter. though that can be said about many things.

77. What kind of car do you drive? - Pontiac Grand Prix. Jumped through freaking hoops the past half a year just to be able to drive it since the damn title was stuck in limbo since March 2016. Just got the tag for it a week ago.

78. What are your best physical features? - people comment on my hair and eyes a lot so those, I guess

79. What are your best characteristics? - oh god. Well, guess you can say I'm determined. Like how I keep on with this survey even though I only thought it was like 20 questions long, not 100 or so. Also you could probably punch me in the face and I'd be the one apologizing.

80. What was the name of your favorite teacher? - Ms. Hamm

81. Where did you grow up? - At this point I've spent most of my life in this hell hole, so Greenville, SC. wait, fuck

82. How far away from your birthplace do you live now? - err somewhere around 300 to 400 miles. Essentially really just one state away.

83. Can you do any impressions? - I've perfected an impression of a sad sack of shit living in emotional isolation stuck in a permanent state of panic

84. Are you a morning person or a night owl? - Night owl by far

85. Can you touch your nose with your tongue? - No, ew

86. Can you close your eyes and raise your eyebrows? - kinda, yeah

87. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? - I couldn't be more of introvert if I lived in a literal hole in the ground

88. What is your best childhood memory? - driving a golf cart up a tree. Don't ask me how, but I somehow managed that when I was like 6. And by tree I mean massive pine. And by up it I literally mean the thing was hanging 5 feet off the ground on a branch.

89. What are some of the different jobs that you have had in your life? - (Re: 72, 73)

90. Do you light candles where you live? - yeah, I enjoy LIGHT scented ones. In open rooms. Strong candles are migraine invoking pieces of shit

91. What was your favorite toy growing up? - wooden Thomas the Tank Engine

92. Do you play any musical instruments? - I am a defect in my familial lineage

93. Have you ever been involved in a crime? - I'm a goodie-two-shoes meh-fest, only thing I've ever stolen is a pencil off a teacher's desk and even that was an accident

94. Do you have long or short hair? - too long for my taste, but it doesn't really look long at all. crazy curls.

95. Have you ever spread a secret to others someone asked you not to? - Never been given many secrets, but I've always kept them.

96. What is your favorite movie? - Oh jesus christ. I just have a slew of movies I enjoy above average, I'll be damned if I could ever properly rank them. In no particular order: Jurassic Park, Short Circuit, Blade Runner, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, and Star Trek: The Motion Picture

97. Are you getting tired answering all these questions? - I'm already tired. This was supposed to be more amusing than anything, but it's actually felt good to just let my mind flow into the keys and out into this notepad file.

98. Last question. Without looking can you remember what the first question was? - Something about lines in a book. It's what hooked my into doing this whole thing.

Wait, seriously, only 98 questions? Thought this thing would've rounded off too 100, then again, I thought it wouldn't be longer than 20 when I started and have just kinda been dragged through this whole thing. Well, it did feel kinda nice I guess. I'm debating if I should post this or not....eh, screw it, I'll throw it on my tandem tumblr. (Which it's short for TAND-EM, I was a retard and got the Tandy emulator confused for DeskMate, the proprietary Tandy OS shell. Nothing to do with bikes, but I guess the latin [at length] humorously applies as well.) I should probably write a header for this...oh, regarding the time questions, that was genuinely the time as of answering those questions. It's currently 9:46 AM. That's how long I've been at this. This...can't be healthy...

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