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#like my literal thought is Wow. They have fun and it isnt terrifying or a horribly lonely experience. Huh
edwinspaynes · 3 months
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This Thomastair fic is actually extremely funny to me because they're super cute and domestic for like 1000 words, they fuck raw for like 2000 words, and they immediately switch back to being super cute and domestic for like 1000 more words. It's about balance
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whimsyberry · 14 days
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📚 some thoughts on the freshman 📚
forgot just how messy the freshman is omg,,, choices did it DIFFERENT back in the day ‼️
chris was a total jerk for sleeping with/ pursuing the mc, ((andrea in my case)), telling her they have something special, & then choosing to entertain becca bc he doesn’t want to catch feelings??? wild. i mean, i guess that’s a lot more realistic than a lot of these pixel men are- but still. i do feel bad for him bc the whole suit chooses to side with andrea & essentially ignore chris which sucked 😅
kaitlyn kind of breaks my heart 😭 she’s such a fun & genuine friend right of the bat- then she gets dragged into the mc’s messiness!! i mean, don’t get me wrong, this girl loves drama as much as everyone else in this messy house,, but she really catches feelings for andrea only to be considered an option out of many while still feeling obligated to be a friend while she’s hurting. i love her decision to take a break from alcohol after she realizes how it was damaging her- it’s a really cool part of her character 💕
james isnt even really included for the first good chunk of the book. but i do really love the whole fake fiancée bit & wish it lasted a little longer 🥺 him and andrea have cute banter & hats off to this man for putting up with the tornado of drama that follows her everywhere she goes. he can be kind of an enabler lol,, but so can every other character in these books.
like, for example, ZACK!! love him sm though. i thought it was cute the way he was so obsessed with everyone’s love life & then terrified to pursue a man who was clearly interested in him. lolz. it was cool to see zack and tyler’s friendship happening separate to andrea. it really feels like the characters in this book were people with lives- not just people whose existence revolved around the mc (which happens in choices books pretty often)
ALSO wow abbie is so mean to tyler!! she’s snippy and rude and gets so upset @ him when he says literally anything. and for everyone around them to constantly be trying to get them together?!?! over leila who actually pursues him in a normal way!?!? CRAZY 😵‍💫 abbie’s not really that likable tbh,, but i like how andrea & kaitlyn did their best to make her feel loved & included,, very sweet of them 💗
super low stakes compared to other books- but i love the slice of lifeness of it <3 again- super different than modern choices books.
i do appreciate how diamond choices actually feel worth it now compared to older books. also how modern choices is prettier to look @ let’s be real,,
but also i feel like a lot more love and care is felt when you read the older books- especially the og freshman books 🙌
moral of the story- the freshman holds such a huge place in my heart & wow is it messssyyyy 😭💕
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horatioo · 3 months
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vent/long post, this is probably the most ive talked about mcyt in years wow
not to vaguepost abt random tumblr users in tags but maybe, just maybe-
the reason im so pressed about tommy, specifically, is because i am rightfully pretty fucking upset that this behavior got overlooked for years and it seems like all anyone fucking cares about is "emotional processing" and "gathering words".
everyone cares about how tommy hasnt said shit, ignoring the fact that hes had surgery recently, ignoring shubbles OWN WORDS about wilbur being physically abusive, ignoring actual video evidence, and all they care is they can make fun of a guy whos "too loud".
they care about looking good.
and not the actual physical safety of somebody who is literally the same fucking age as me.
if tommy doesnt speak out any time soon i will not blame him, because i believe shubble and niki and all the other people whove come forward and said wilburs an abusive piece of shit.
and i believe my own gut feelings from fucking 2020 when everyone was tagging this sort of behavior as "#goals" and "#omg so wholesome!!" and all i could do was feel sick.
and those gut feelings say that wilbur is dangerous to everyone hes hurt and especially dangerous to those in close proximity to him.
and no, tommy isnt my biggest priority, im just only making posts about him because i have not watched ANYONE in that circle since at least 2021. i have no idea who is who, i dont know any of these people.
my biggest priority right now IS shubble, but the thing is i kind of want shubbles tag to be KIND to them right now. because she probably desperately needs it, knowing twitter. i want there to be one place where she can go and its nice and kind.
she was incredibly brave, speaking out against him. i am so so fucking proud of her. i know how it feels to be the person on the other end. i know that they probably felt like they were wrong or no one would believe them. i know that they were fucking terrified.
she deserves nothing but kindness right now.
and unfortunately, i am not in the right headspace to be kind. so i havent been speaking on it. when i am in the right headspace to be kind, i will.
but not right now, because right now i just have angry words for wilbur and angry thoughts of how everyone laughed at the behavior of the man who verbally abused people on stream and said it was "just jokes".
its all fun and games until someone gets hurt. its all laughs until you cant laugh anymore because its "problematic" to.
idk. im incredibly fucking disappointed in a large portion of the community. im incredibly angry at wilbur but im not surprised at all because on reflection he has been showing this type of behavior for years, its just he was a hot pretty white man so nobody wanted to think about it.
im angry because i know nobody will give a shit after its all said and done.
and im angry because this shit thats happened to shubble and niki and tommy and god knows who else has happened to me, and its always, always a joke to people.
and god, was the whole world laughing at them.
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quarktrinity · 7 months
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quark watches star trek season 1 episode 22
spirk flirting
hahahahahahha these writers thought space travel would happen in the 90s
how can they tell if people are breathing on that ship
WORLD WAR III IN THE 90S???? IT WAS ABOUT EUGENICS?????
mccoy and spock bickering. i reiterate: mccoy thinks this is hot, spock doesnt give a shit
whos this lady am i supposed to care about her
spaceship coma pods look like those japanese pod hotels
scotty would "love to tear this baby apart" (he means the earth ship)
hahahahahahahahaha these writers thought we could travel past light speed in 2018
this girl was ogling kirks tits i think
scotty dont say "oriental"
what is this dude wearing. is this like a fucking gold mesh onesie. its so slutty
dudes been asleep for 200 years. ok
oh my god his tits
why did we need to know how many of the sleeping pod people were women
the 90s were a violent part of our history apparently
this dude is a Super Human from the Eugenics Era. horrifying!
i swear this guy had longer hair a second ago
god this episode better not be racist about this dude being indian
mccoy is so funny. gives advice to the dude choking him about how to kill him by cutting a certain artery. alright man.
they have this dude in the sluttiest shirt ive ever seen. full cleavage
he better not be evil
his name is khan? wasnt there a movie about this dude. and his wrath
this doesnt bode well
spock talks abt how having greater ability translates to greater ambition. yeah i think khan is evil
khan leave the girl alone. why are you being so mean.
dont touch her hair!!!
dont grab her like that!!!!
UGH SHE THINKS THIS IS HOT
why is kirks formal attire green
wow khan is incapable of wearing a non-slutty outfit
him making out with that girl would be fun if the music wasnt so sinister about it and also if he wasnt grabbing her so much
yeah hes definitely evil
star trek says dictatorships bad
Blue Drink
khan has just constant cleavage
suddenly khan is all about consent
suddenly consent is all about asking permission
i hate him
the image of an indian man seducing a white woman to take control of her just isnt that great. like i know its the 60s but still
ok khan was a literal dictator in the 90s
spock says dictatorships bad
so how about we just shoot this guy out into space
khan says eugenics good
i get hes evil and this plot is compelling but why did he have to be Notably Not White
khan doesnt have cleavage anymore :0 terrifying
woooaaahh khans escaped???? thats craaaaazyyyyy
suffocation before surrender
why didnt khan just kill them
good to see a brown dude extra among the good guys so we know the casting director wants us to think theyre not saying all brown dudes are evil
uhura is so cool. go girl
how is kirk a damsel in distress so often
khan hates friendship
"the captain is dead" no hes not
thank you for betraying khan history girl your horniness has not completely taken over your soul
"captain ive saved your life but please dont kill him" nevermind i hate you
Deadly Neurotoxin
show of brute strength by bending phaser like a spoon is sillier than khan thinks
yes kirk kill him with your thighs
/whacks u with a tube/
WHY ARE YOU LETTING HIM GO
WHY ARE YOU GIVING HIM THE OPPORTUNITY TO TAKE OVER A PLANET
WHY
history girl i hate you. dont go with him. idiot
JUST KILL HIM
UGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
welp. see you later khan. and your wrath.
paradise lost reference was ok
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moonlit-imagines · 4 years
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Headcanons for being Tony Stark’s stepkid
Tony Stark x Potts!child!reader
warnings: alcohol mention
a/n: i rushed these so bad i just wanted to post dhhshsnsna
prompt: y/n is pepper’s kiddo!
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it was just you and your mom for a long time
pepper and y/n potts
she couldn’t keep up with you sometimes, too busy dealing with the manchild that was mister anthony edward stark
speaking of—
“uh, who’s this?” -tony, pointing at you
“mr. stark, i am so sorry, the school closed because some kid set fire to the science lab and i didn’t have time to find a sitter—”
“no, it’s fine, no need to apologize. hey, kid, you wanna sit in the boss’s chair? i’ll let you run the company for the day!” *cue you nodding* “sweet, would you mind that, ms. potts?”
“oh? no, not at all” *mouthing* “thank you”
“so, uh, what’s your name? no, don’t tell me: ketchup.”
*giggling* “y/n”
“no way! that was my second guess!”
tony wasn’t used to being around kids
he had no idea that he was actually kind of good around them
despite a few minor hiccups
“you sit in my chair and im gonna spin you around, sound like fun?”
he spun you around WAY too fast and you were diiiiizzy, also you fell off the chair
“don’t tell your mom that we did that. she may be my assistant, but she scares the shit out of me. also, don’t say ‘shit’”
dude he just thought you were a cool kid!!!
“hey, you know, ms. potts, you dont really need to hire a babysitter anymore. y/n’s doing just fine hanging out here”
“how am i not surprised you befriended an actual child?”
she still took him up on his offer, you seemed pretty happy
when your mom worked late, you passed out in tonys office
tony and you had your own little secrets (like falling off the spinning chair), tony showed you around stark tower, and you practically lived there
“i got you a happy meal from mcdonalds!” -tony every day after your school
in all honesty, you weren’t the “popular” kid at school...not even close
but tony made up for it
“y/n! i found this old racecar toy in a box of old stuff, you wanna hold onto it for me?”
you kind of grew up in stark tower tbh? it was pretty cool
and as you grew up, you started to notice more
“mr. tony, do you have a crush on my mom?”
“do i what? no, no, i do—who the hell am i kidding? you caught me”
“called it!”
after that you did everything to try and get them together
when your mom was talking to tony, you would stand behind her and wiggle your eyebrows and just taunt tony endlessly
no! tony cannot remember your mom’s birthday for the life of him! you are his calendar now
“dude, why dont you just ask JARVIS to remind you?”
“i may be a genius, but that doesn’t mean i have common sense”
“wise words, sir” -JARVIS
when tony disappeared for 3 months you were so sad???? like you were not okay at all
no
and when he came back, he literally exited the plane saying “WHERE’S ‘T-POTT??’”
(your wonderful nickname. ‘t’ for ‘tony jr.’ and ‘pott’ for ‘potts’)
“my mom missed you”
“oh, i bet she did”
“you turned my child into you, tony. i will never forgive you for this”
“well, at least y/n was here to fill in for me, huh?”
tony wanted to show you the arc reactor but he was actually afraid of scarring you lmfaoooo
but he did let you in on the iron man secret (he knew you wouldn’t snitch)
and just to make sure:
“if you dont tell anyone, i’ll buy you a car when you turn 16”
“man, that’s like, forever away”
“good, maybe you’ll forget by then”
ur mom kinda maybe sorta found out abt iron man :/ she told you that tony was a bad influence
“mom! no, tony’s cool! he’s like a superhero”
“no, sweetie, he’s a rich guy with issues. we’re leaving”
that didn’t last long
not long at all
and soon they FINALLY got together
“jeez, i thought you two would never stop pining after each other”
“couldnt have done it without my wingman” -tony *fistbump*
“as thanks can i have my own iron man suit?”
“yes.” *pepper glaring at him* “no.”
sooner or later your mom and you moved into tony’s house and you got a really big room!!!!
it was completely decked out
king sized bed, flatscreen tv, mini-fridge, microwave, computer, your own bathroom with a smaller tv, a poster of tony??? (you vandalized it and put it in his workshop), and more!!!
okay you were spoiled
“do you like it here? are you sure i made the right choice?” -pepper
“are you kidding, mom? this is awesome! plus, you’re happy, i’m happy, tony’s happy, i think JARVIS is even happy!”
“i am, mx. potts. simply ecstatic” -JARVIS
pepper was really happy!! it was a pretty cool family
you started giving your school tony’s number if you ever got in trouble, you knew he’d cover for you
“mr. potts, is it?”
“sure”
“your child, y/n, punched another student in the face today. we’re very disappointed in their behavior”
“why’d they punch the kid?”
“well, the other student punched y/n first”
“HAH! thank you for wasting my time. send y/n back to class and call me back if something important comes up”
he literally gave you a high five when you got home
“i gave him a black eye!”
“i couldn’t be more proud. i mean, i dont condone violence, but self defense is a whole other story”
a little help in the workshop, tony asks you to hold the flashlight
“why don’t you get one of your robots to hold this for you?”
“are you kidding me, you’re complaining? we’re having stepdad/stepkid bonding time! and dum-e can’t do anything right, i dont trust him”
youve had a few theme park trips as a family ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
also tony has 100% told you to wait in the car and then left you alone for 2+ hours
“i’m not like a regular dad, im a step-dad. want some beer? you can have a little sip. i’d rather you do it in the house”
your mother actually does love how he actually cares about you!
“y/n is 12% my responsibility” -tony
“tony, you are impossible” -pepper
no avengering for you! pepper said no!!!!!!
disappointed but not surprised
iron man 3: y/n potts is put through the wringer
Text Message to Mr. Tony: bro you better come get your girl, me and happy are watching this other guy flirting with her. he’s showing her pics of his ‘big brain’
Mr. Tony: HE WHAT
Text Message to Mr. Tony: Tony he looks creepy i don’t want him to be my new stepdad do something!!!
anyways ur house kinda blew up and ur mom and you kinda got kidnapped and u were right abt that guy being creepy and thankfully no experiments were done on you but like your mom kinda almost died and her and tony were fine!!! all good in the end
you met mr. col. james rhodes that day
“aw, you’re the kid ive heard so much about” -rhodey
“you mean the coolest kid in the world?check.”
“you cant tell me you aren’t tony’s biological child, good god”
you got to meet the avengers later on too! (you’d already met natasha tho, only briefly)
“i know it can be a little overwhelming, right? meeting all these heros, legends even—” -rhodey
“oh, my god, is that thor? thor!!” -you, leaving rhodey in the dust
literally why does pepper trust you around tony something always goes wrong there were literally robots attacking, you were only at avengers tower bc your mom was busy with the company and she thought you’d be safe with the avengers. the AVENGERS.
“please dont tell your mom that i created a bad robot that tried to kill us. the robot will be the least of our problems” -tony
he made happy pick you up and you had to miss out on FUN and it sucked a lot
“it’s okay, y/n! i’m fun, too!” -happy
then your mom and tony took a break and your life got mega-boring for a while, but they weren’t separated for that long. you try not to think about it. it was brutal
Mr. Tony: Does she miss me?
New Message to Mr. Tony: I think so. Either that or she’s crying and drinking wine in the dark for no reason.
Mr. Tony: Damn it, now I feel bad. I miss her a lot. Oh, also, the Avengers say ‘hi,’ I’m in Germany with some bad news, I’ll explain later if you don’t see it on TV first, and I found you the perfect friend! His name is Peter and I think you’d like the school he goes to, it’s in Midtown. Smart kid school.
New Message to Mr. Tony: I’ll look into it, thanks. Also, I don’t like how those all connect. Please update me asap
watching the news to see several avengers arrested, cap on the run, and more!
“maybe it was good i didn’t fall in with the avengers”
tony and pepper finally got back together and you actually transferred to midtown high! peter and his friend group accepted you quickly, it was great. you and flash unfortunately had the most in common
you’d literally text happy right next to peter and he’d immediately reply to you. it hurt peter’s feelings
Momma: Sweetie! I’m working in the office late, leftovers are in the fridge, hope you have a wonderful day at school! 💕
👉👈the vulture tried to kill you for being tony’s stepkid, tony made peter promise to protect you
“y/n, you gotta stay out of harm’s way. mr. stark gave me an actual mission and it’s terrifying, i have to make sure you stay safe”
legit why the fuck was this old man tryna kill you bro grow up
anyyyywayssss your mom and tony got engaged!!
“wow, i thought the day would never come!!” -you
ppl told you tony isnt your stepdad bc ur mom and him werent married but who tf asked
why is the earth always in fucking danger
you and peter were just vibing on the field trip bus and all the sudden: space donut
“go! i’ll cover for you...FRIDAY, call tony”
“...hi there, little one”
“what the fuck”
“oh, so you see the aliens, too? well, at least im not crazy”
tony stark has left the atmosphere
you and your mom were kinda......not chillin tho
she and you didn’t sleep for a few nights, then ppl just straight up disappeared
plot twist: you survived the snap and your family was lucky to be alive, you even got a little sister who became a big handful!
only bad thing was all your friends dusted and you were pretty lonely
but watching morgan grow up kept you busy
“ahhh, shes so big!”
happy times in bad times
bad times!!!!! bc after five years thanos came back as thanos from like ten years ago. outdated thanos. obsolete thanos.
but you made your first and only appearance in the suit tony actually designed for you many years ago
you should have just stayed home tho bc that fight didnt pass the vibe check
“please dont tell me he...no, no, no, no, no”
you and your mom latched onto each other in tears, tony was one of the best people in your life, he made you and your mom two of the happiest people on earth
best stepdad a kid could ever ask for
taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @lokihiddles // @frostedgiantfavs // @emygirl // @lotsoffandomrecs // @johnmurphyisbisexual // @teenwaywardasgardian // @pappydaddy // @captainshazamerica // @freya-xo // @ravenmoore14 // @purpleskiesstorm // @ofthedewthesunlight //
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i have, like. a lot of thoughts about the way systems are treated in this On Line age. like... how heavily skewed the system experience is from people online. everything about systems online seems to be about how FUN being a system is, because wow you've got your very own group of buddies and protectors in your brain!!!! but like... that isn't always the case. what about the constant anxiety that someone will call you out for being a fake system when you know you're not? what about the fact that this mental illness is literally born from trauma? what about the persecutors, the perpetrators, the alters who will abuse the host? what about the internal questioning as to whether your alters are even real, whether or not people will like them being around instead of you? what about the fact that we can't even control what alters form and we could end up with someone really unpleasant and triggering?
and on the subject of "fake systems", this is another unfortunate consequence of the internet. system discourse and the constant patroling that some people (who are more often than not singlets themselves mind you) do where they'll jump at whatever chance they get to call a system "fake" adds so much more fear for systems just finding out they're systems. i was terrified to tell my friends i had alters! i was terrified they'd think i was faking because my experiences as a system didn't line up exactly with the other systems they knew! and i know other systems who feel the exact same. and even if it turns out that a teenagers alters were "fake", that's still a tip off to something being mentally wrong.
and there's another thing-- DID and OSDD are mental illnesses. they're not exactly all sunshine and rainbows. i feel like online on social media systems get an unfortunate short end of the stick with regards to the whole phenomenon of "social media isnt real life, it doesn't show the ugly bits". when it comes to DID and OSDD, rarely do i see posts about how terrible it is to have complete and utter gaps in your memory and to struggle with depersonalization, etcetera. DID and OSDD isn't just "having alters syndrome", it's far, far more than that. it is a mental disorder born out of trauma that occurs so early on in a person's life that their developing brain doesn't even get to figure out how to form a singular personality.
tldr: systems aren't all sunshine and rainbows, and like other aspects of life, social media happens to only show the pretty parts of it that you can dress up and call cute. please treat any systems you know or may come to know with kindness and openness, and don't jump at the first chance you have to call them "fake". please.
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sixcastappreciation · 5 years
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sixcago gave me my gay rights
alternative title: review of the evening sixcago show on july third
this is like almost 4k and its mostly just rambling but i need to express how much i love sixcago
like at least half of this is just me being gay so i bolded some of the things that i found really interesting and isnt just me like, freaking out
so to start off: holy shit. the energy of the entire show was amazing, it was really funny and fun and the acting/dancing/singing was on point like i cant think of a single complaint on the part of any of them.
so to get into the actual show
ex wives
when the curtain came up and the smoke started pouring out i actually felt my soul leave my body it was such a good moment
less than thirty seconds in brittney mack made eye contact with me and i swear to god my heart stopped and i honestly had trouble focusing on the rest of the song
i am not exaggerating that is the whole truth and nothing but the truth
shes............. literally so good im still shaking as i write this like three hours later
the third repetition of the rhyme where they all sound kinda pissed off? they nailed that
adrianna was so cute when she said “you wont try that again”
andrea holy shit. thats really a wrap on that
abby got that like, kinda head in the clouds thing that i feel like is janes Brand during this part
when he saw my portrait he was like JaaAAaaa
i love brittney mack
courtney knew what she was doing with that prick line. get it girl
anna has the most angelic voice i swear to god
the six of them work really well together on stage???? like i know its all choreo and stuff but you could Feel the energy that they had together it was good
oh man the choreo for the end. im so gay
intro thingy:
adrianna with that riff!!!!! we stan
annas face after “herstory” was iconic. she knew what she had done wrong
you couldnt hear the intro for maggie bc people were cheering so loud
the way adrianna says maria made me gay
abby also knows what she had to say. she knows how cursed janes sense of humor is and she was really playing it up
protestent............ protestant
“we’ll tell you what you want what you really really want” this made me laugh so hard i dont rly remember the next like thirty seconds because i was dying
“the biggest.... the firmest......... the fullest..............” im. i cant
no way
“maria” AGAIN adrianna please. please i cant handle it
“OH muy bien aHHah” not to be Lesbian On Main but fuck this was so cute
her emotion during the monologue was SO funny
it was peak, it was so good
she really gets it. i dont totally know what it is but this aragon monologue gets it
when she said “really trying” she did like, a motion. i cant go into more detail but Fuck
so after “move me into a convent” everyone like, gathered around aragon and adrianna did a
well idk what youd call it but a like
her entire torso swung around in a huge circle right before “i dont think i’d look that good in a wimple”
and idk what it was but that part just made me Lose It
adrianna had this way of making it all a little funnier?
like catherine is usually pretty Serious, i think but it felt like adrianna knew she was playing a character who was Like That, if you will, and was kinda leaning into breaking the fourth wall a little
i can probably elaborate if that doesnt make sense
you say its a pity cos quoting leviticus ill end up kiddiless all my life
she said that with such conviction goddamn
oh, he doesnt remember
this was so good
the “sh-”s were really funny
the fucking. i dont know what it is but the *ting*
holy shit
i cant put into words
how much i loved that part
the pause after “i’ll go” was............ expansive
i just checked it was 10 whole seconds
that doesnt sound long but it felt like forever
she went high on “end of my life” and thank u for mine adrianna hicks
the amount of no’s was impressive and im heart eyes for it
adrianna just had really good stage presence
like i caught myself looking at her during the dance breaks of all the songs when i wasnt looking at brittney
it was just so fun to watch her go!
dluh
during the intro of like “yeah, you know, the really important one” andrea was doing some Dumb Shit in the background
like i dont know exactly what it was but she was just like
idk like noodling around in the back
and i caught her eye and she like, smiled a little
the gasps the rest of them did were....... cute
then andrea busted out a full on fucking witches cackle
then she stuck her tongue out and looked like she was taking a selfie and it was so cute
like, her tongue was OUT
“not my thing” had the BIGGEST uwu energy of anything ive ever heard
i thought people were kidding when they said andrea boleyn had uwu energy
they were not
pret a manger barely came across as a real line it was more like, an experience
the sorry not sorry choreo. its so funny and cute and simultaneously cursed
the way andrea delivered her lines here was just
it was like, cutesy and fun but also kind of cursed
uwu
when she said “are you blind” andrea like, gestured to herself, in a like “look how hot i am” kinda way
which might be the standard? either way it made me laugh a lot
don’t be bitter/cos im fitter was the only line in the entire production said with a british accent and it fucking slayed me on sight one hit ko
i actually like that they changed “mate, what was i meant to do” to “wait, what was i meant to do” because
it implies that anne had no other train of thought than the one she was on and thats very funny to me
i think it fits w andreas portrayal too
everyone was like, fake crying when anne fake walked down the aisle and it was really funny imo
and as soon as she got to the end anne like, turned, yk?
bro just shut up
the entire audience gasped after that
andrea had actual like, panic on her face
then she led into “i guess he just really liked my head”
and there was a beat after that, where everyone laughed
it was long enough that everyone got the joke
then she mimed the blow job
her riff on “hell”? iconic
“wait, didnt you actually die” no jane she was beheaded but she was fine
abby seymour said dumbass rights she has the Dumbest Bitch energy god
“catherine of aragon had tragically died” catch adrianna looking like, yeah it was so sad for me, how terrible, right?
then boleyn goes off
the. fury, passion, anger, zest, contained in andreas “MASSIVE-”
“over my dead body” andrea gave her this look like, youre damn right it will be
heart of stone
oof
okay so the monologue
oof
“i was lucky. okay, i was really lucky” o o f
“edwina” is still cursed tho
i dont know what it was about this. i dont know if it was abby, or the dialogue, or just it being live but
this made it clear that jane had been Through It
like, this monologue came across (to me at least) as unquestionably a “woman who was abused trying to justify it to herself” kind of situation
“and that’s not because i was scared,” she said, wearing an absolutely terrified expression
this is where she started tearing up i think
okay i gotta take a moment here because
abby was fully crying before the song even started
like somewhere about halfway through her monologue she started tearing up
i was looking for it specifically
i wrote this before the last part so see above
so by the first fucking like of hos you could hear her voice breaking
holy shit ms meuller what the fuck
im not kidding who gave her the right
at the stagedoor she said that after this she was like, “well thats it for my makeup” when someone complimented her song
she is crying. the first chorus and she is actively crying. in the breaks between her lyrics you can hear her crying
abby went high on a couple of notes in here
she riffed on “truthfully” and it was, wow
she didnt go for the whistle tones which was, honestly? the most relatable thing in this entire show
but a couple of the other notes she went high on and they were so killer
there was a second or two of pause after the end where everyone just, absorbed things before the applause
i have some questions for abby about this actually because i dont know if its just because the monologue was different than im used to but
i just want to know if abby meant to have everything come off like That but god
the mental gymnastics jane is doing here are so intense
this performance genuinely changed how i listen to hos forever
i dont think i can ever peacefully listen to this song again
this song gave me so many layered emotions thank u abby mueller
haus of holbein
hans................................. *holbein*
the chaos
i honestly barely remember most of it it was
i had no idea who to be looking at
but i remember it being beautiful
i dont have the words to express how
fucking funny it was
the accents were hilarious
like they werent great german accents, but that made it far better
they were leaning into the ridiculousness of it all
the way abby said “but we cannot guarantee that you’ll still walk at forty” had me on the ground
ive spent the last 24 hrs trying to figure out exactly why it was so funny and i think i got it
she dropped the german accent
and she straight up sounded like she was reading off the side effects of a pharmaceutical ad on tv
the freeze frame? legendary
anna and courtney (im pretty sure?) managed to look so genuinely offended that henry swiped left on them
your highness your highness your highness
god adrianna please
actually every h sound that came out of their mouths
but adrianna Got It
get down
oh god i gotta talk about “didnt live up to his expectations”
brittney like, half took off her jacket and gestured to her body and like, body rolled a bit and honestly? i was fucking dead
the sarcasm really jumped out here. brittney went off in the best way possible
she was fully fake sobbing right before “tragic”
fucking legend
brING me some pheasant!
the woof line is always a good moment but their facial expressions really made it work here
this song has the most outwardly complex choreo (ofc i cant speak to its actual difficulty) and every single one of them crushed it
brittney made eye contact w me again on “looking cute” and im deceased
oh god after “take my fur” she whispered “thank you. honestly” and gestured to herself again and like, i was dying
iirc brittney was like, skipping across the stage or something on “i look more rad” and snapped into position for “lutheranism”
we gotta take a moment to appreciate the operatic talent of that one “get down you dirty rascal” instead of the slo mo
like, ofc the slo mo is a good moment but
brittney went full opera and it was,
wow
shes got a voice on her holy shit
so much talent in such a tiny body
aCHYEAH
she picked the person sitting next to me to dance w her and
they did their cute little dance thing and then brittney gestured like, go sit down, and the person did, then stood back up and started dancing again
not like, in a bad way i dont think
it was super fuckin funny and after the song brittney was like “oh that was cute you think youre funny”
but i heard them talking at the stagedoor and like, brittney was chill it wasnt like a violation of anything
im not explaining it very well but it was really funny in person
everything about her on stage was just, so enrapturing
i dont have too many specific notes about this song because it would probably turn into just, me being gay, which is enough of this already
anyway! get down was good brittney mack is a stellar cleves
her fake crying is next level tho
the confrontation
boleyn, unprompted: i lost my head!
the beheaded cousins high fived after “nice neck” and like, stuck out their necks a bit it was so funny
seymours “i died”
we all know abby is gonna kill her line delivery
but GOD
and then after, she like, realized what she had said and struck a pose like, shit please still think im regal
the line itself was actually pretty, uhhhh, sad
theres something about boleyn roasting khoward in andreas voice
courtney with that “and your songs” had perfect timing
also “when will justice be SERVED” had such good punch to it
after she did that she like
rubbed her hand on janes face
and abby looked SO offended
theres something so, sincere about courtneys delivery of her roasts that i hadnt been getting and its SO much funnier to me
i forget exactly where but at some point boleyn aragon and howard were arguing
and in the background it really looked like seymour and cleves were having a normal conversation and i lost it like. they were just chattin
there were a couple moments of like, cleves and seymour interacting and it was interesting
aywd
courtney! mack! took! no! prisoners!
jesus christ
okay so i dont know if other howards do this or if it was just because i was seeing it live and up close and that made the difference but
for me the most compelling part of this howard was the fear
like yes there was the sadness/anger/etc like there was good emotion but
from the “he says we have a connection” re: henry, and then on, everything about courtneys body language just screamed that she was afraid
idk i might expand on this in a separate post because its a darker topic but yeah. holy shit that was emotional
not a single person clapped after the last line. they all waited until after “yeah, and then i was beheaded” before clapping
like the theater was dead silent. DEAD silent
it was like, so haunting because it was just courtney on stage at that point, with just the white spotlight on her, it was a Moment
im not sure i have the heart right now to get too deep into this
if it would be particularly interesting to anyone feel free to ask, im happy to get more into it but idk its just Emotional
actually this is already so long ima go for it
so on each “we have a connection” it was uhhhh parr and aragon (i think) who each put a hand on like, her clavicle
and for the first two verses she grabbed one of the hands and was like, flirty? ig
but on the one about henry seymour also put a hand around her waist and she like
she freaked out
and listening back to the audio i can
unpopular opinion perhaps but the actual emotion of her on stage didnt come thru in the audio
because it was so physical
like you could see how scared she was
which made it more relateable to me honestly
like she looked so so scared
it was heartbreaking
the confrontation part ii
oh BOOH OO MISTERESSES
“okay catherine, babes” is CUTE fight me
anna looked like, progressively more concerned as that beat went on, and then she just kinda like, deflated? it was really funny tbh
idk her parr feels Different than the parr im used to
during “oh im catherine parr i draw the line in arbitrary places” courtney was playing with her hair it was hashtag cute
BACKING VOCALS RIP CATHY PARR
idnyl
a cute little b flat major 7
yeah anna parr seems
hmm
she seems like she’s just, over henry
like from the start she just has no time for him
idk im Conceptualizing
anna uzele is
her voice is next level
she put survived in the “got married to the king became the one who survived” in air quotes which i think is an interesting note
anna got really physically into the “remember that...” bit of it and everyone in the back was also having a good time with it it was Good
andrea. she stuck her pointer finger between two of her other fingers on her other hand for the “my sixth finger” line and it was SO funny
khoward keeping aragon in line was
not the hot take i was expecting but nevertheless the one we deserved
both for “dissolution of the monasteries” and “well actually”
idk it was a cute character moment
one of *unsure, disgusted, vaguely annoyed* siiiIIIiix
abby was right in front of me and she looked SO uncomf
yeah, i read
iconique
andrea like, threw her head back for this line
the pause after “theres not much we can do about it now” is
painfully long and so so so funny
i was only really looking at brittney but she was like, arms down head up no body language it was SO funny
also her “yeah?” ended my life
she raised the mic up to her mouth while not moving an inch of the rest of her body
the part where they get all meta. has me dead
it was about halfway through this second part that i realized cleves had her coat back. i dont know when that happened. if anyone else knows when exactly anna of cleves gets her coat back after it gets taken off in get down please tell me. i genuinely want to know
this actually distracted me
i got vibes that they genuinely hated henry during this part
first off, mood
secondly, good
annas riffing. god.
she is so talented
dsfjksdf they all straight up left
six
the opening moment is really sweet and kinda funny
abby again killing it with janes cursed lines
courtney howard is actually so cute
when shes not being heartbreakingly sad that is
like her “bye!” was so cute
theyre all so supportive of each other its very cute
megasix
adrianna and abby both looked into my camera and like, i died
at the end anna and brittney were doing some dumb shit as they walked off stage and it was SO cute
after the show
i went to the stagedoor and it was a really fun experience! ive never done that before
it seemed like everyone was being pretty respectful and stuff, thank u six fans for being sane
i got four signatures on my program dklfjsldfjds
abby was such a sweetheart, we actually talked a tiny bit
i told her i loved her line delivery (because uhhhhhh i do) and she said that she tries to get in that comedic timing when she has Those Lines and like yeah
she was seriously the nicest
the ladies in waiting came out as well and everyone cheered for them and lets be real they DESERVE it
lemme sidebar here actually and talk about the ladies in waiting because
they killed it
bessie on the bass was living her best life at literally all times
brittney was also super sweet! i told her she had good energy (because uhhhhhh she does) and she was very nice about it!!!
i didnt really talk to anna or andrea but i got their signatures!
also speaking of my program im still losing my mind over “remembered for: headlessness” and “remembered for: staying alive”
thank u sixcago program
in conclusion! this was such a great+special experience!!! all of the actors were incredible, it was so wonderful
im also not claiming any of this stuff was unique to this performance or to sixcago in general this was just the stuff i noticed as i was watching it. if you clown on this post ill end u
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glowstickhaloboy · 7 years
Text
AU where keith accompanies lance to get a tattoo
so like. lance expects pain. he knows that getting a tattoo will hurt, he just doesnt know how much.
so he brings keith along with him.
thats the thing. keith is lances rival (but also kinda his friend, so it isnt weird to ask him to watch lance get a tattoo) so lance would never  n e v e r  show weakness in front of keith, even if he was getting a needle repeatedly buzzed through his skin
(lance is not terrified of needles, but that doesnt make him their biggest fan)
he made his appointment like a week ago, and since he was doing something small, they were able to squeeze him in much faster than hed thought they would be able to. suddenly, he has to quickly muster up his bravery.
“are you okay, man?” asks keith as they walk into the shop. “you look kinda pale.”
“what? im fine. shut up. mind your own business.”
“pft.”
lance almost feels bad, but hes more distracted by the fact that hes about to permanently mark his skin with ink. like. forever.
and its a worthwhile tattoo, its his aunts name on his shoulder because she passed away last year, and a lot of the adults in lance’s family have the same tattoo and he wants to prove that he’s not a baby anymore, but its still a big commitment
lance and keith are taken to the back room, where a guy is literally in the process of getting a tattoo done, which should not be a surprise in a tattoo parlor, but still lance kinda stares like he cant believe hes really here
keith nudges him. “are you sure youre okay?” he asks again. its the genuine concern in his voice that steels lance’s resolve. bastard.
“i am fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine Keith, what part of that statement dont you understand??” he glances back at the dude with half a dragon on his back. gulps. “totally fine.”
“because if you arent sure about this,” keith continues, “you shouldnt do it.”
lance scoffs. “im sure, keith. dont be ridiculous. and since when did you care? besides, i already made a downpayment, so if i dont go through with it, im out 60 bucks.”
keith shrugs. “whatever you say.”
so eventually the guy getting dragon-ed leaves with more of a dragon, not all of it, because apparently huge tattoos are done in sessions (by hour how can someone be okay with getting needled for h o u r s at a time???) and the artist wipes down seemingly everything in the room with disinfectant. lance is grateful for this. it gives him plenty of time to bolster his courage again.
the artist explains everything through to lance, and he doesnt know why hes still nervous. he really doesnt want the needle to hurt. he doesnt want to regret the decision in three months. he doesnt want everyone to make a big deal out of him getting a tattoo.
he has to take off his shirt because the tattoo is going to be on the back of his shoulder. hes been using humor to cover up his freak out this entire time, but now if he laughs he’ll mess up the tattoo, so he just has to lay there, trying not to look at keith, and listen to the pandora station the shop has playing.
finally, just as its about to start, even though keith is there, lance admits to the artist, “the anticipation is going to be horrible if im not facing you-”
“relax, man,” the artist says. “im not gonna leave you hanging. I’ll tell you before i come at you.”
and lance is like. okay. you can do this. brave face time. keith is right there. time to impress him.
and then the needle starts buzzing and lances eyes must go as wide as saucers. keith hides a snicker behind his hand and lance glares at him harder than he glared at uncle ricardo when he went for the last quesadilla at lance’s sister’s wedding. “i dont see you getting stabbed over here, keith,” he says.
keith shrugs. “you chose this,” is all he says.
“damn right i did, and its important to me, so stop making fun of me, you nerd ass jerk face.”
keith sobers. “youre right, sorry.” hes still smiling, though.
and, okay, there is pain. theres definitely pain. but its honestly not horrible. thinking about what it was going to be was definitely worse than going through it. lance isnt a wimp, he finds a rhythm to breathe in and grits his teeth past the burn.
all in all, the tattoo does not take more than fifteen minutes. lance is actually surprised by how fast it goes. he stands when the artist tells him to and twists around to check out his back in the mirror.
his heart soars. it looks awesome. he may or may not tear up a little.
the artist helps lance bandage the tattoo and gives him instruction for aftercare, and lance returns the favor with a generous tip.
keith is holding out lance’s shirt, and lance flushed when he realizes that hes still naked from the waist up. he snatches his shirt and tugs it back on.
“it does look really good, man,” says keith.
lance is practically glowing. “it does, doesnt it?” he says. “my family’s going to love it.” and then softer, “i love it.”
keith punches lance’s arm lightly. “you should. and, for the record, i was surprised at how well you kept it together. except for gritting your teeth once, you really handled yourself.”
lance’s blush deepens. “were you watching that closely?” he asks, embarrassed.
keith doesnt say anything because they reach the door to the shop. he holds it open for lance. lance catches a whiff of the pizza place across the street.
“dude, i am starving. i havent been able to eat all day, i was so nervous. you wanna grab something to eat? my treat, since i dragged you all the way out there.”
keith--keith--smiles. “i’d like that,” he says.
once theyre seated inside, lance asks, “so come on then, if you were getting a tattoo, what would it be?”
“i already have one,” keith says, stone serious.
“really?! where??”
“on my foot. its a wolf’s head that says courage. its spelled out in the teeth.”
“no way! youre lying to me right now! i gotta see this!”
keith rolls his eyes. “obviously im lying lance. but if i had to get one... i dont know. i would want something personal. but i feel like i dont have enough pieces of my own life to pick something out yet.”
lance stares for a second. blinks. “keith, that is literally the saddest thing anyone has ever said to me. you arent waiting for your life to stumble back towards you! youre living your life right now. who you are right now is, well, who you are. and your life is what it is. even if youre not, i dont know, complete, youve still got to have things that are important to you.”
“yeah.” keith looks down at the table, folding a closed sugar packet. “i guess youre right.”
their pizza shows up. they dig in, and the conversation turns lighter. lance surprises himself by thinking how much hes enjoying spending time with keith. keith, of all people, makes lance happy. like he has any right to.
“alright,” keith says at last, his mouth sort of full. “it would be a massive cock over my heart.”
lance chokes. “KEITH.”
“because of how much i love cock, lance, you see, its whats most important to me-”
“WHY ARE YOU SAYING THIS TO ME.”
keith breaks and starts laughing. “Shh youll get us kicked out!”
lance stifles his heart attack with great difficulty. because keith, who lance had the biggest hate-crush on in the history of hate-crushes, just told lance that he loves cock, and lance has one of those. and it is definitely getting the wrong idea from this conversation.
“i retract my question on the grounds that you are not taking this seriously,” says lance, blushing furiously.
keith nods. “thats fair.”
they recover quickly and finish their pizza. as theyre walking out, lance realizes that he really doesnt want their fun day together to end yet. he invites keith back to his house for video games or a movie or whatever, and hes sure hes going to be shut down. but keith, surprisingly, accepts.
halfway into the movie, keith breaks the stiff canal of distance lance placed between them on the couch to say, “lance. you know ive been hitting on you all day, right?”
lance chokes again even though there isnt anything in his mouth this time. “oh yeah?” he stammers. “well, m-maybe you’re so lousy at it i couldn’t even tell!” his voice sounds shrill. his face is burning. he cant look keith in the eyes.
“i thought that might be a possibility,” keith says coolly. “that’s why im telling you know: i have a crush on you, lance.”
“You cant just say stuff like that!” lance protests, waving his arms around defensively. “what am i supposed to say back to that?”
“hopefully, something like, ‘wow, me too, keith, today has been the most fun ever.’”
without looking at keith, lance slowly melts leftways on the couch, so he ends up pooled somewhere in keiths general area. “i had fun today,” he says. “i think youre hot. and nice. but thats all youre getting out of me.”
keith laughs, and lance decides he could stand to hear that again. all in all, not a bad day
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scithemodestmermaid · 5 years
Text
okay so i’m taking notes on microsoft’s conference
watching it here
so i have that aperture science core plushie i made next to me for this, because i was doing some restitching on her, just wanted to set the stage anyway
prepare montage pictures
outer worlds, right off the bat!  are we still mad at outer worlds?  idk and idc.
october 25th release date for outer worlds...except for steam, but let’s not mention that part....
outer worlds still looks dope, don’t get me wrong.
i don’t know what is going on with bleeding edge, but i’m terrified.  also intrigued.
THE ONE PERSON WHO “WHOO’D” FOR ORI, HIGH-FIVE TO YOU
were there actual boss fights in the first ori?  i don’t remember, it’s been a real long time since i played it.  i just remembered it being like a disney.
someone in the live chat just said, “it’s fallout 5!”
....wait, is this minecraft 2?
a minecraft dungeon crawler?!
minecraft dungeons looks fun, but i’m only just now getting back into og minecraft and i prefer its pacing and the ability for housebuilding so i think i’m sticking with that.
phil spencer is getting todd howard levels of cheering right now.
just noticed he’s wearing a psychonauts shirt.  HMMMMMMM
oh its the droid boi
jedi fallen order right now, they got one of those big four legged mechs and its covered in vines and you get to pilot it apparently and that right there hypes me up.
DOOOOOOOOOPE STAR WARS
ooh a scaries?
a dog in a scaries, that does not bode well it better not die.
ITS A BLAIR WITCH GAME
CYBERPUUUUUUUUUUUNK 2077, BOYOS
don’t stick your gun in your buttcrack, kids, that could end terribly
NO NOT JACKIE.  i liked him in the 48 minute thing.  
whoa the other guy was a backstabber, who’d a thunk it
bawss friggin fightin
KEANU REEVES????
HOLY CRAP IT REALLY IS KEANU REEVES
hello i may or may not have a crush on keanu reeves, but that’s basically everybody
i already was gonna get this game but if he’s in it, then absolutely must buy.
he’s even wearing a cyberpunk 2077 shirt, <3
seriously, he’s a cyberpunk king, friggin neo is in this game.
he is having so much fun right now.
YOU R BREATHTAKING
APRIL 16th, 2020, BOYOS
wow no cheers for an official release date, screw you guys too.
is this animal crossing?
is this animal crossing with permadeath?
spiritfarer is animal crossing with permadeath, pass it on
BATTLETOADS MUSIC
a new battletoads game, and it is NOT 3d?  props.
legend of wright has a cool art style, but idk seems a bit too artsy for me, and thats saying something
okay the camera needs to stop pulling away from the screen cuz when it does that i cant see crap
wait theres a pathologic 2?
everyone in live chat is making this joke so i will too...the name’s bond, sarah bond.
people are also begging for keanu to come back.
xbox game pass for pc is available today, so that’s nice.
okay so you mentioned master chief collection, when exactly is it coming out?  not gonna say, okay then.
ten bucks a month, not bad.
xbox game pass ultimate puts them all together at no additional cost, so thats cool.
if you start today, it’s one dollar, extremely impressive.
wait so this is actually a game?  i thought they were just bsing it and showing real world footage for something.
the only flight simulator i will play is the one at the local historical museum, sorry.
everyone in the live chat is too distracted by that song that was playing during the montage, the one that was like “are you game game game, are you game game game,” except it was easy to mishear “game” as “gay” so they’re taking that and running.
this is exactly what i imagined colorado to be like.
is this fallout colorado?
oh its wasteland 3.  so i was pretty close.
matt booty?  HMMMMMMM
no one is listening to mr. booty, they’re just cheering his name.
well double fine productions has finally sold out.  well, i mean they sold out a while back, but now its literal.
they’re gonna show psychonauts???
tim schafer is one of those rare humans that has never changed physically, he looks the same as he did ten years ago.
they are indeed showing psychonauts 2, did any of yall get your backing rewards yet?
why are they pushing loboto so much?  did the fans really care about him so much back in 2005?
MORE STAR WARS?
ITS STAR WARS LEGO YAAAS
over 9000?
thats literally all i know about dragonball, is that theres a guy and his power level is over 9000.
is frieza mewtwo?
what am i lookin at here, is this top-down alan wake?
12 minutes is top-down alan wake, pass it on
deer with light up antlers
i have a feeling way to the woods is symbolism
who is this girl and why is everyone cheering?
gears of war, ah yes, the game so controversial that conservatives stopped harassing halo.  that’s all i know about the franchise.
all of this is french to me, i have no idea what any of this is.
what in the heck is going onnnnnn?????
wait is that dave fennoy?
wrestling superstars to play the new game mode?  que?
the terminator is just casually in gears of war.  okay.
car game.  great.
oh wait no, i was bamboozled, its a controller commercial.  for their new controller that looks a heck of a lot like the steam controller.  HMMMMMMM
people are still begging for keanu to come back.
never played the first dying light, but that sequel looks spiffy
oh, HERE is the car game.  complete with a random car just chillin on stage.
WAIT ITS LEGO AND THEYRE PLAYING EVERYTHING IS AWESOME, YOU NOW HAVE MY ATTENTION
and the random car just chillin on stage is made of lego, so i’ll take it back thats astounding.
.....but i just wanna kick that lego car’s door and watch it fall apart, i’m chaotic evil apparently.
funko pop, oh i can tune out then.
state of decay 2, i will not trust these devs after the moonrise fiasco so piss off with this game.
sega?
what is this, where is sonic?
phantasy star online 2, k
who tf is smilegate?
what tf is crossfire x?
(i took a break here but i don’t think i missed anything that i would’ve cared about)
oh borderlands, woooow.  another anticipated title brought low with epic games anti-hype. 
but it had claptrap and leg gun in the same scene so that makes it good.
look claptrap is the only part of borderlands that i like so lets move on.
miyazaki and rr martin???
let me give you a hand.  i’m not even apologizing for that joke.
some in the chat pointed out there’s not been gameplay so far in this conference, and thats interesting.
anyway elden rings or whatever.
is this it?  no halo or banjo?  
oh new gaming console, optimized for gaming....didn’t they just release a new xbox?
developers taking about we totally get gamers, we are going to get rid of loading screen because no one is patient.
i know i sound bitter but do understand, i am totally interested right now with the specs and the construction and all that, tis related to my major so yeah.
scarlett?  what a weird name for a console, but i genuinely hope that’s not just a placeholder i want a console with a human name.
next console is project jeff.
people in live chat are already confirming skyrim for the scarlett.
xbox is 18 years old?
also HALO NOW.  and its releasing with the scarlett.
plot twist: this is the master chief without his suit, just a dumpy white guy.
he aged ten years in five minutes, are we sure this isnt death stranding?
CHIEF
guys i found a master chief, he was sitting outside my window and he looked sad, like no one had fed him or anything in a long time, can i keep him?
yo i am hyped okay, i was big on halo when i was an obnoxious teen, my friends used to do halo 2 parties and i’d try to keep up.
and i guess that’s the end of the conference.  good selection of games, interested in that project scarlett, and all in all okay with it all.
still no banjo.  :-/
0 notes
authenticaussie · 7 years
Note
✫ MarcoAceSabo 86
Commissions! || Ko-fi!
ace as a runaway god
he’s basically just a teenager who Does Not Know what he’s meant to be doin in his immortal life and w o w he’s super bored and also his dad is an asshole to humans? lol?​ ace does not agree? don’t be a dick dad
sO BASICALLY HE POOFS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AS A “HEY DAD IMA GO LIVE W/ HUMANS BC I WANT TO HAVE A BETTER WAY TO SAY FUCK YOU”. Roger is UPSET and torn bc he’s like oh! I remember this stage of my life! Wanting to find myself! Burning shit! Exploring! Stealing things! but then he’s also like [godly scream] “WHERE IS MY SON”
Also Ace is a dumbas bc he doesn’t tell his mom and so she’s actually on Roger’s side and is like no i do not support my runaway son he hasn’t sent us a single letter im very mad at this young man. He could’ve at least said goodbye before disappearing w/o a word!!!
Chasing Twisters by Delta Rey is a Good Time for this AU (especially the first lines; ‘I was born / with lightning in my heels / set a spur upon my ankle / put a horse under the steel’ )
Anyway! Ace ends up travelling a lot and bein a dork and accidentally outing himself as godly all the time omfg. He’ll fly up to pick fruit and fall out of shit and get stabbed and be fine and then get confused when people freak out???? It’s hysterical
ANYWAY he figures out how to (relatively) pass as human ///after like so many errors omfg and ends up running into Marco!! Who travels from town to town doin magic and offering his protection and trying to chase down an old god / some other myths just because he’s a curious fucker
Ace STILL fucks up being human it’s a GOOD TIME, LIKE!!! They’re campin somewhere, idk, near a mountain pass???? huge rocks everywhere???? and Ace keeps picking up rocks and throwing them everywhere like they’re nothing and Marco’s like “uhhhh isnt like. That huge stone monument heavy????”
-ace, holding it w/ one hand over his head and cursing as he tries to find where his hat has gone-  "uH YES. HAHA. WOW. YEAH. ITS EXHAUSTING. CANT HOLD THIS FOR LONG!!!!“ ///drops it awkwardly with a thundering crash
Basically what I’m saying is Marco totally knows he’s at least a demigod / blessed by the gods but is so unperturbed by this bc he’s a demigod too? (Ace being an actual god is another story entirely.)
a n y w a y they go through a town where a friend of marco’s called Sabo lives and Ace gets along w/ him super well and they have a lot of common interests and Marco moves on to the next few towns by this. like. mountain thing that encloses it??? so it’s  a dead end basically??? and ace stays and gets to know sab better
whispers Sabo’s Totally Flirting with / flustered around Marco but marco doesn’t notice s h i t
Anyway Marco comes back and is like yeah I usually stay here for the winter bc the passes freeze over so badly??? And Ace knows he should go and that he could easily find his way, the cold has never bothered him, but he-
he stays
(they’re fascinating, and they’re clever, and they’re kind, and Ace finds himself drawn to Marco’s easy grins and Sabo’s quick, clever tongue just as easily as he’s drawn to a flame). They turn from “heyyyy humans are so Interesting” into “These Humans are so interesting” into “these are my friends and they’re so interesting and Have Interests that  I love hearing them talk abt”
ACE STARTS GETTING SUPER FLUSTERED AND NERVOUS AROUND THEM AND ACCIDENTALLY USING HIS POWERS AND FORGETTING WHAT NORMAL PEOPLE DO. AND THEN TRYING TO COVER IT UP LIIKE “WOAH SURE WAS A COINCIDENCE THAT ALL THESE CANDLES IGNITED AT ONCE HAHAHAH”
Marco ends up just patting sab’s shoulder and leaning down to whispers that he thinks ace’s old place didn’t take to kindly to demigods and sabo’s like ooooohhh and they NEVER BRING IT UP
Ace eventually!!!!!!! asks them on a date!!!!!!!!! and theyre like weren’t we already doing that????????? and Ace is like what. no. uu taking me ice skating and me taking u to a frozen waterfall that i unfroze for the two of your bc Marco Looked Sad are totally not dates!
Fuck ace goes a minute later. Sabo bursts out laughing bc he’s thinks it’s h i l a r i o u s and even Marco’s having to hold back a grin and Ace buries his face in his hands and is like why didn’t you TELL ME and sabo laughs even harder
Proper date!!! With ace giving them flowers !!! that he flew to idk persephone’s garden to get or smth and trying to Look his Best and marco and sabo are like. hearts melting awww gosh he’s just Trying So Hard they think it’s adorable they’re dying
BUT LOL ANYWAY WHILE THEY’RE ON THEIR DATE ROGER ENDS UP FINDING ACE BC ACE HAS BEEN IN ONE PLACE FOR SO LONG
AND SUMMONS THE THREE OF THEM IN THE MIDDLE OF THEIR DATE
AND ACE IS LIKE FUCK SERIOUSLY???????? W O R S T TIMING
also: “if i jumped off this god-summons cloud would u two get mad???”
“UM YES???” goes sabo, “dont leave us alone to face your boss!! you asshole!!!”
B o sss//// ace says, wheeze-laugh-dying, and Sabo’s like that’s Not making me Feel Better
“Lol so like……….I know this is breaking the only rule of first dates……..but like. Hey. Guys. Meet uh…My family lol”
[Marco, internally dying as he stares up at the towering figures that are Obviously trying to tower just for the kicks but haha doin a Good Job]
Sabo and Marco, slowly processing their boyfriend is n o t in fact a demigod, but rather an ACTUAL FUCKING GOD
WHAT THE FUCK ACE is Sabo’s first thought
that explains the rock thing is Marco’s first thought, followed by how the FUCK did i not see this coming
Roger who’s trying to glare at ace for running away and leaving, like NO!!!! NO!!! NOTE!!! THIS IS NOT POLITE BEHAVIOUR, SON!!!!
but then also DATES??????????? D A T E S ???? HIS LIL BOY IS D A T I N G??? HE’S ONLY LIKE 200 YEARS OLD HE SHOULD NOT BE DATING THATS ONLY LIKE 20 IN HUMAN YEARS
Roger who’s trying to look sternly @ ace and also threaten sabo/marco at the same time
Rouge standing in the background like “ace im going to kill you how dare you not say goodbye to me” except like the vague aura is directed at everyone (Mainly ace but like. Everyone knows she’s Super Annoyed)
Look Ace if you’d Just Said Goodbye, everything would have been Fine. Your mom’s Cool.
You didn’t say goodbye
or send her a single letter telling her how you were
she’s not that cool
Roger basically Dismissing Marco/Sabo and Ace gets super pissy and starts y e l l i n g at roger and then bc it’s like. realm of the gods ala mt Olympus or w/e the surroundings start to echo the mood and Ace is quite literally spitting fire and is shifting more and more into his less human form???? So a lot Taller and glowing, wispy eyes, and parts of him encased in flames, flames trapped and visible beneath his skin and Sabo reaches for Marco’s hand because he’s never seen Ace this angry and look he’s only human, he’s been exposed to a lot and he’s pretty brave, but Ace is-
upset. he doesn’t want to see Ace upset, because it hurts something in his own chest, and he can tell by Marco’s tight grip on his hand that Marco feels the same way
But then they almost get hurt in the backlash of Ace / Roger’s argument, and Marco yells at them to stop and Ace gets snapped back to himself rather than just the anger he is in god form, and almost immediately shrinks, and Roger gets SUPER mad bc he thinks they��ve been manipulating ace???????/ and trying to make him smaller than he is????? trying to make him human, and Roger views humans the same way one might view a stray, mangy pet; pityable, and a bit cute and fun to play with, but not-
not worth much.
“This is what humans are! They’re cowards and liars and thieves! And these two are trying to-”
“Make me fucking happy!?” Ace yells back, but he stays small and stands in front of his friends and refuses to go to his dad’s level because he’d gotten better. He wasn’t so angry and useless and bored and entertaining himself by hurting people, he was-
(Humans are worth just as much as gods. they sacrifice themselves for nothing more than it is right and kindness, when they know they won’t come back, when they know people won’t remember them, or know their names, or think of them again. Humans don’t ask to be worshipped, or praised, humans just- are.)
(And these two? These two, the way roger had spit out who they were like that could encapsulate who they were-)
Roger puts her hand on Roger’s shoulder just as Ace turns his back on his father and whispers carefully to sabo and asks if he’s okay and runs his fingers over Marco’s hand and assures himself that theyre okay and apologises for what happened and asks them to forgive him for hiding the truth and Ace being interested in something again, not looking lifeless and hollow and bored, and how ace had been arguing to protect them rather than just arguing because he was so uselessly angry-
Ace turning around again to glare at his father and snapping his fingers and dropping them back on earth and staggering to the side bc he didnt usually do that and Marco immediately helps steady him and they just
talk softly into the early hours of the morning and ace presses careful kisses to their cheekbones and lips and hands like he’s the one worshipping them, their callouses and scars and birthmarks, the way their bodies have changed over the years in ways that his never will, because he can change how he appears
There’s peace, for a week, a peace of careful exchanges as they slowly grow comfortable with this new knowledge - ace knowing that they know, marco and sabo coming to terms with the fact that ace could be terrifying (but he’d never scared them. he’d never, ever tried to scare them)
Then Rouge shows up. Obviously a goddess in human form, obviously perfect, obviously gentle and kind and smiling, and presses a kiss to Ace’s cheek and then one to Sabo’s and then one to Marco’s, and she smells like flowers and summer and home, like warmth and love and she’s so- perfect
Ace is cautious, because his mother can be worse than his father (he loves her more, afterall, she’s his mom and she has always been the one to protect him, with a fury that he never wants to be on the receiving end of). She smiles at him and tells him that as long as he’s happy she’s fine but that a letter or two wouldn’t have gone amiss and basically invites herself in to have tea / lunch and makes ace tell her about all his adventures and he starts off carefully and faltering because he still thinks it’s some plan of his father’s, but she laughs at all the right moments and asks questions and is just
his mom. She’s his mom and she loves the fuck out of him-
and he’s happy. Any fool could see that, and no fool would take him away from that
She bids them goodbye at sunset, promising to come back later if invited, and Ace says that he’ll try, and then rouge asks him to grab her shawl from inside and shoos him off to get it and looks at Sabo and Marco and her eyes soften and that almost makes it worse when she says, “you won’t hurt him, would you?” because to answer yes would be to disappoint her
Then Marco shakes his head and glares at her and goes we won’t. But not because we’re afraid of you, but because we don’t want to hurt him. First and foremost he’s our friend.
Rouge smiles, properly this time, with teeth and laughter and it sounds a bit threatening but they can tell she’s amused. “I’m so glad he found you.”
She kisses them both on the cheek and is gone before Ace comes out with empty hands, and they’re left to explain what happened before she left (Ace sighs and apologises, and Sabo laughs and says he’d never expected to deal with gods in his daily life).
Random members of ace’s family show up sometimes. Rouge declared it a Thing. They just. give the mas fam stuff. Tree that blooms all year round. Tiny plants / terrariums that are accurate details of places they know, right down to the tiny - living - animals. glass panes that show the weather in the future and mirrors that put together what you want to wear and have it folded up on the bench when you come back.
They don’t realise they’re still younger than everyone else until they realise just how old everyone else is. They don’t realise that gifts from the gods are sometimes ones you can’t see. They don’t realise, but by the point they do there is nothing to contest; they don’t want to leave Ace, and Ace doesn’t want to leave them. It helps that, for all the years they were living in the city/town no-one had become super c l o s e to them.  
They get known as the weird magicians at the end of the road, and kids get dared to knock on their door and ask for stuff. Sometimes ace opens it with part of his eye on fire and sometimes marco answers it with dough on his face and laughter from behind him and strange things in the kitchen and sometimes Sabo answers it but keeps the door half closed and as you walk home you can swear there’s something by your side.
(“What do you get when you mix home and something free?” Rouge asks one day, before they’re really comfortable around each other, tapping her teaspoon against the side of her cup, ankles crossed and poise perfect, and Sabo makes a curious noise in the back of his throat.
“What?”
Rouge smiles mischievously. “You already know him.”)
a Thing that I tried to write as the Start that would’ve been Fun: (from an alt!idea where Ace was literally on the run from angry gods for having stolen something ala prometheus and sabo/marco are gods/demigods sent to get it back but Whoops they’re In Love now).
Ace had run away from a lot of things in his life.
He’d been doing it his entire life, after all.
(He just really hadn’t expected to add “fleeing from angry gods” to his list of skills.)
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suckit-aynrand · 7 years
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wow okay.
i just now finally got the guts to softblock my ex’s tumblr after a fucking year and a half.
ive wanted to rant and piss and moan about that whole debacle on here for so long but because she followed me etc. i never did because i didnt want to stir shit up
i shouldve done this a long time ago because every time i saw a post she reblogged i’d feel sick to my stomach and get really depressed tbh.
so now im trying to release all my shitty feelings by writing it out....
she was my first kiss and then she ended it before we were even able to give it a chance even though i’d liked her for over 6 months prior.
she was a fucking bitch though and made me feel so shitty about myself... unfortunately, i have an issue where i need everyone to like me so the more someone doesn’t care about me the harder I try and any drop of affection from them is like a drug.
ok so like she told me she was gay in like february or some shit and i told her I was bi because i was still trying to figure my shit out and then I started developing feelings for her (ie, see above) which i’d never done before because id never opened myself up to thinking about a girl that way and never with guys except for feeling ill....
so yeah, we were friends for a long time and i really liked her that whole time but i was fucking what 19 and had never done anything with anyone and was really nervous about stuff like that and, especially because of her personality where she’d be a total bitch 75% of the time and shoot down anything i said (which id just brush off as a joke or whatever and laugh) so no way in hell was i going to ever fucking make a move and i’d sleep over at her house (she lived at home) and she knew I had no experience and i told her id never even kissed anyone and she’d call me a “spring chicken” and shit because i was such a fucking everything virgin
we spooned once but i was so nervous and freaking out because im bad with touching people in general because i have this huge fear of doing something wrong and being rejected and totally overthing everything??
we also had this stupid bullshit thing about “ymir and krista” from attack on titan- shut the fuck up, i know, but like it was kind an apt metaphor for our personalities and looks (besides height because i was taller than her) so i remember and breaking point in my crush was when there was a “pick ten pictures that represent your aesthetic” on tumblr or whatever so i picked a bunch of pics or whatever and then one that was ymir/krista and i tagged her to do it too (do your sleuthing on your own time fellas) and she ALSO put a ymir/krista pic in hers so i was like HOLY FUCK IS THIS KISMET??? and then got my shit together to admit to my sister that i liked her and was bi (lol... that was a while ago...) and planned to ask her out myself.
anyway, like the next night, and incidentally on the night of the Supermoon in 2015 (when there was an eclipse on the night of the supermoon) i stopped by her job at gamestop when i was at the mall with friends to say hi (which i would do whenever possible... again, i was/am desperate for affection) and she said she was getting off soon and her grandparents were in town and were going to dinner at a place at the mall and would i like to go with so i was like sure so we went and then I went back to her place with her family and we sat outside to watch the supermoon and we were like holding hands and shit because it was cold and it was montana in late september etc. and i was nervous and all but all blushy and excited because of my previous nights shit, and then we eventually moved onto the back porch and she asked me if id want to date and i was like yes and then her homophobic grandparents came out to see if we were still watching the moon or whatever and then we went in to her room where i slept over and when we were looking out the window she kissed me and i was super nervous and blusy so it was like just a quick peck but it was my first kiss and i wanted to do it again but also i was scared to (like... because of her? and i was scared she wouldnt want to?)
so then the next morning i got a ride back to my place by her mom because i had an early class and we kissed (quickly again) before i left and then the next night i slept over at her place again but we didnt kiss at all... after that i would keep texting her and trying to make plans and stuff - i wasnt a student at the time but i lived close to campus so i was always like let me know when youre free and i can come up and meet you for lunch or i can come up and do anything because i wanted to see her and shit and she’d always be like “im busy with work/school/band etc.” so i was just like ok let me know when youre not and id visit her at work when i could but i didnt have a car and she was working and i didnt want to hang out in gamestop or whatever so id just pop in and it was awkward...
id said earlier that i wanted to go to the rocky horror show live that they did downtown so i saved up over $100 to get us tix and dressed all slutty for it (for her but also for rocky) and she wasnt really into it and i was trying to make it fun etc. and i had planned for her to stay the night at my place afterwards because i had an extra mattress under my bed for guests (THAT I LITERALLY ONLY BROUGHT WITH THE SPECIFIC INTENTION OF IT BEING FOR HER) but she said she had to go home or whatever and so i drove her home and walked her in and we kissed (quick kiss again) as i was leaving and then we kissed again, but like a couple little kisses in a row, and i was trying so hard to do it right but i was so nervous and that was all good (except she told me that my fucking MAC LIPSTICK didnt taste good... that fucker....) and then i left and continued to try to meet up with her and then one day she asked me if i was free to come talk to her on campus so i tried to dress up all cute and then she broke up with me.
the break up was so weird too because she was like “ive been too busy to see you, and ive been having a really hard time with my mom lately, and my dads cancer just came back and i want to still be friends and maybe next semester we can try again” and all and she was like crying (like a little bit) so i didnt want to be dramatic and make her feel bad so i tried to keep it light etc. (like i always do because im a fuck) so i was like its all good im so sorry youre having all this shit let me know if i can do anything etc. and then i hung out for a bit to try to make her feel like it was all good (even though i was devastated inside..... im just really awful with my emotions...) and then i left and was in a trance for a few days.... like even though practically nothing happened i didnt know (and still dont know???) what happened???
like....... was it because i wasnt really making any moves??? because i was trying like especially at halloween etc.????? and like she was the one who asked me out?????? like... i was also open about the fact that i’d be moving away the following summer most likely because i was changing schools and whenever i’d bring it up before we were “together” she’d legit like tear up and be like “you cant leave” and shit...?? was that why???? and like this still really gets to me even though it shouldnt and she truly was very hurtful to me in so many ways beyond this bullshit??? i just feel like i expended so much effort on building my relationship with her and never got any reciprication? 
like... there were a couple of times the following semester where she’d text me and ask to get together with another friend or whatever and i really really really wanted to say no but that word isnt in my vocabulary because im an anti-confrontational pushover so we would and it would be so weird for me but id really really work to pretend like it wasnt and then i moved.
and i really honestly wanted to message her and be like can you just be open with me about why because i feel like i got no closure and i thought about doing it a bunch but i never did because im a coward and scared of putting other people in situations that might make them uncomfortable because i know how uncomfortable they make me and how much i hate it???? i also thought about asking a mutual friend if he knew anything about it because he was closer with her but i didnt even know if she told any of her friends/family about it because she was super open about being gay but didnt want me to be open about our relationship because, in her words, “they’d say we told you so and we knew” and she wanted to prove them wrong for as long as possible or something?
but now like a year and a half later its sooooo way beside the point and too late so like i cant do it now.... but i havent been in another relationship obviously and like last semester i was getting really unreasonably jealous over her ambiguous snap story about getting ice cream with her girl and how much she loves her even though im more than halfway across the country from her and now ive definitely calmed down and have faced the fact that she was a bitch but like i still feel so stuck with no closure and also am terrified that i’ll never find anyone else? and i also know that its my fault but i wish i knew how much and what i could do better in the future because im terrified of making the same mistakes again and feeling this emptiness?
i wish this were easier. im so sorry for spilling all this shit but ive been bottling it up for so long and have only ever told my sister and even her i didnt tell everything and i feel free now that i wont be seeing her posts anymore and can hopefully let this settle even more....
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milkteamarx · 7 years
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tag warning: sexual harassment
okay so i just spent the last hour watching a video on youtube about sexual abuse and what not and it’s really really horrifying. and while i certainly havent been raped before, what kinda rang true with me was this line she said at the end where she was like “we’re made to feel like we wanted it, when we didn’t”. my ex boyfriend and I had gotten into an argument in the beginning of our relationship because he was one of the ONLY people that I told at our job about one of the managers sexually harassing me. I told him and one of my other coworkers and that was it. And he was the one that told me not to say anything. Me and the manager i’m talking about, anthony, had a nice friendship. He would constantly pay attention to me, joke with me, and all this stuff. But the minute we crossed the line between like manager/employee and something else was when he asked me if i was a virgin. he was like obsessed with the fact that i still had my virginity. and he would constantly talk about sexual shit with me, like constantly. and i put up with it, or played into it. and i’m not saying that wasn’t wrong or stupid because it certainly was, but realizing now, at like 20 years old, i had a lot of self esteem issues growing up. i always thought of myself as ugly and fat and not worthy of praise or anything. i really hated myself around this time, and that was when i was 17. also i think i should mention the fact that i was 17 and anthony was 31. he was soo charismatic, he would make me feel really comfortable saying things that i wouldn’t feel comfortable saying otherwise. like it didn’t feel creepy, or weird. i felt mature, i guess? but anyway, i told him (before i got with my ex) that i had a crush on him and this reallyyyy opened the doors for anthony to ask me all kinds of shit. he would ask me if i got any nudes from my ex, if i had sent any. and then when i said “no, he isnt like that” he would say something along the lines of “i would’ve asked you for nudes right away”. and it didn’t seem weird to me? like at all? and then after that he started asking me questions like if i masturbated, how i did it, blah blah blah. i remember telling him i’d never had an orgasm before and him saying “come into the back room with me for two minutes and i’ll get you to with two fingers” and it was in a joking manner, but thats fucking wrong. looking back at it now, i was a minor, i was a shy girl, i didn’t know that it was fucking wrong. it’s preying on someone younger and more vulnerable than you. and he would compliment my chest like all the time, saying i had great tits and stuff and by that point, we were just open like that. like now that he had gotten me comfortable with all of that, i wasn’t taken off guard by him when he said those things. and then i remember i was in the room he worked in, while i was on my 15 minute break. and i said something and was joking around and went to go leave because my time was up, and he grabbed my arm and pulled me back into him. and my hip was like directly on his front or whatever. and i don’t remember much but i got uncomfortable and like left really quick. and i didn’t tell anyone about that because i thought i was overreacting because, hey, i have anxiety and it might’ve just been that. and after that it was just more comments like “if you wanna lose your virginity just come into the back, i’ve had sex back here with girls before” like apparently there was this girl, a cafe worker like me, that worked before i had started working there, and she was a virgin too, and he took her virginity in the back room when they closed. looking back at that now, i want to vomit because like???? he has a type, he’s worked at this place for like 7 years, i wonder how many fucking girls he’s done this to. but anyway, one night, i spent my 30 in the back, talking to him. he really used to tease me about being shy and stuff around him. like when i would blush when he’d say something, he’d make fun of me for it. anyway, we were joking around and i guess, playfully flirting one night, and when i went to go leave the back room, i pulled my arm, turned me around, put his hand on the back of my head, and went to kiss me. and i will literally never forget the feeling, like i froze and jerked for a second and he let me go and looked at me, im sure he was trying to do damage control and see my reaction, but i just turn and left as quickly as i could. i’m not overreacting when i say i was literally fucking shaking, i remember texting my ex, whom i wasn’t yet dating, and told him and he was nice about it, he said to just calm down and not talk to him, and i went back to work and since i worked in the cafe and he worked back room, i didn’t think i’d have to see him for the rest of the shift. so flash forward to like 10 minutes before im scheduled to leave. im keeping my head down because im still so Shook and like fucked up about it like my anxiety is through the fucking roof, and he comes to cafe. he buys like an orange juice or something and my coworker rings him up for it, and he looks at me but doesn’t say anything because people are there. and i’m like fucking terrified, i dont want to talk to him, look at him, be near him at all. so a couple days later, i’m scheduled to open. i’d come in at 9, by myself, open at 10, and then another coworker for the cafe would come in at 11. and i knew anthony always opened because he was a manager. and when we were friends and chill, he would always come over and chill with me while i was opening in the morning. i was praying to fucking god that he would just leave me alone, like i remember the night before, being so god damn anxious because i didn’t want to face him. so i’ve been in the cafe for like.. 2 minutes, i turned on the oven and i was in the freezer getting the frozen stuff to bake. so i come out of the freezer and he’s r i g h t fucking there. i remember gasping and i remember his face like “o shit” and hes like “? are you okay?” and i said yeah and i was quiet and i was looking straight at the ground because i didnt want to fucking look at him, i was scared. and then he was like, being real quiet, “look i’m sorry for the other day, it was stupid, it was supposed to be a joke” and i remember just trying to get him away from me so i was like “it’s okay, it’s fine” and he was like “no it wasn’t, i’m really sorry” but now that i’m thinking back, it was literally damage control? he was making sure i wasn’t going to fucking tell lin, the store manager. and it angers me so much, like. all the shit leading up to that, all the questions, and the flattering and shit, was grooming. i have no FUCKING doubt in my mind that if it had progressed and continued, he would’ve taken my virginity. he would’ve groomed me until i was comfortable enough to sleep with him, or he would’ve gotten me to allow him to touch me in some other way and that fucking sickens me. i hate him, i hate how much of a gross slime ball he is, and i hate how manipulative he is. when i quit the job, he actually told me if i ever wanted a threesome, to just text him. like he’s so fucking gross and it really makes me sad that i had such a low self esteem and felt so bad about myself that i let this 30 year old man validate me in ways that were COMPLETELY wrong. it makes me sick. so yeah my ex boyfriend and me had gotten into an argument about it because he said that i “put myself in that situation” because me and anthony always joked around. and he made me feel BAD about it and like i WANTED anthony to come on to me like that. and when someone makes your feelings invalid, it fucks you up. because every time you cry, every time you feel anything, you’re like “am i overreacting? did i put myself in this situation?”. and like i love my friends, but one of them said close to the same thing one day when we were at my old job, looking for books, and anthony was walking around. and this one isle of books is where me and him used to go to talk. and i remember him seeing me and like tilting his head for me to come talk to him. and like.. y’all dont understand, he makes you WANT to talk to him. he’s so fucking charismatic in that way, like it makes me sick. but anyways, i ended up drifting away from my friends for a sec to go talk to him and when i came back, she knew where i went. and i told her, he was gross and that he had complimented my boobs in the shirt i was wearing and she said “you put yourself in that situation, devon. you literally asked for that” and it just really fucks with you. because when you spend a fucking year of your life being groomed by someone, having them build this weird ass relationship with you, it doesn’t just disappear. and i remember feeling like SHIT because my friend told me that. like “wow, i’m asking for this shit to happen, i’m such a slut” blah blah blah. anyway, it’s 2:43 and i have to be up at 6 for class so YIKES
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