#like of course sasuke did nothing wrong. every bad thing he does is out of fear and pain and avoidance of a WORSE one

[tora-the-cat]

A happy ending for Sasuke is literally not even POSSIBLE for basically ALL of Naruto like it's not even funny. He really never even had a CHANCE he has of living a decent life, it's not even on the TABLE, by literally no fault of his own (because he's never done anything wrong). I'm going to scream.

0-6? Forces unbelievably outside of his control are organizing, ensuring, and executing an ethnic cleansing of his entire clan at the hands of his favoritest person in the world. Forces including the shattered psyche of said favoritest person, who tortures him until he is too terrified and traumatized to even think about anything else for years.

7-12? enrolled in Child Soilder School, completely isolated socially (not as a pariah but as a prodigy) befret of any support system, still traumatized beyond belief, and left with no outlet for any of his issues besides obsessing over the day, one day in the future, where Itachi will be dead and all this unresolved suffering and guilt and love and anger and fear and fear and FEAR will go away forever. Right? Because it has to. There has to be an end. Right?

12? Government assigned found family give him the support and love and attention and outlet and for the future that he's been craving for so long he didn't even KNOW it's what he needed. Has a soulmate and a bestie that can read his mind and a mentor who actually is willing to meet him where he's at and help him and maybe even love him and is this......Hope? That perhaps he can have a life outside of what Itachi did to- Itachi. Itach- FUCK. ITACHI IS LITERALLY HUNTING NARUTO FOR SPORT WITH ALL HIS WAR CRIMINAL FRIENDS AND SASUKE SHOULDN'T HAVE LET HIS GUARD DOWN BECAUSE IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW STRONG KAKASHI OR EVEN THE WHOLE VILLAGE IS, ITACHI WILL KILL ANYONE SASUKE IS STUPID AND SHORT SIDED AND CRUEL ENOUGH TO CARE ABOUT, HOW DID HE FORGET, HOW DARE HE FORGET, HE NEEDS TO GET STRONGER HE NEEDS TO AVENGE HIS CLAN HE NEEDS TO FUFILL HIS FRATERNAL DUTY HE NEEDS TO LEAVE BEFORE ANYONE ELSE IS MURDERED BY ASSOCIATION-

13-16? He dropped a lit match on his support system behind him him and ran into the cold shadows of obsessive anger that he only stepped out of long enough to loose the ability to ignore the gnawing want for warmth. That's bad enough, not even taking cohabitating with goddamned OROCHIMARU. No further explanation required there.

17? Kills his brother, gets NONE of the 'benefits' he spent his life convincing (begging) himself must be awaiting at the end. Instead everyhting has, in fact, gotten much worse very quickly and now all he has is a list of powerful people and systems that don't work and hurts and kills and tortures the people they've promised to protect that no one except him will oppose because it's basically suicide, and isn't he already so familiar with being on the shit side of this dynamic? Isn't it the normalest thing in the world, to fill the hole where his vengeance used to be with a hunt with near identical goals and intentions of his first vengance, the only real difference being his increasing dissalussion with ever being able to 'go back home', his almost all comsuming doubt that there's a 'home' waiting for him still, if there ever even was? So he dives into another goal before it goes as cold as the love he doesn't dare indulge, accumulating more power and rage then he knows what to do with (where can he put it down? where can he put it down?) and no reason NOT to challange corruption until it's either all gone or it kills him. Naruto, once the only person who looked at him with empathy instead of pity or expectation, thinks he should grit his teeth and bear it and go back to the village, as if that was ever an option for him. Sakura, once the only person who understood him, who followed his every thought process with ease and loved him even when he thought himself a monster, has finally given up on him and tries to kill him. What can he do but laugh as the world burns? It burned him first.

(but if that was true, then why is he still so cold?)

[justice4sasuke]

Character Roundups Round 7: Itachi Uchiha

Lord in heaven above it's time for a big one because I have a lot of fucking thoughts about Itachi.

Itachi as written and framed by Kishimoto: When Kishimoto decided Itachi's real backstory will always be one of the great mysteries of the world. On the one hand, I think Itachi retraumatizing Sasuke and putting him into a genjutsu after they meet for the first time since the massacre is over the line if Itachi was supposed to secretly care this whole time. On the other hand, Kishimoto has proven before he doesn't know where the line is with Naruto "I will break all of Sasuke's bones if he doesn't come back to Konoha with me" Uzumaki. And then there's the first full flashback where everything is, if I had to describe it in one word: suspicious. Like okay Itachi just wants to rise above his limits and the clan...or does he??? Is this really Itachi under pressure from his clan and Konoha and he ends up lashing out at the clan one time before he does the deed. You could read it either way. No hint there on when Kishimoto decided Itachi's ultimate backstory.

Speaking of confusion, how are we intended to view Itachi? Because Itachi himself says he messed up, but literally every other character talks about how great and smart he is. If we are supposed to think Itachi was a genius and did his best then it's kind of bad story-telling for reasons I will get into. If we are supposed to agree with Itachi that he fucked up then it's not very successful because so many characters say otherwise and it seems like a lot of the fandom also thinks otherwise.

There's a lot of confusion throughout Itachi's story because I'm pretty sure Kishimoto's intention changed during writing, but I'm pretty confident what we are meant to believe by the end. I'm sure people will disagree with me so I will explain after I say what I think we are ultimately pushed into thinking about Itachi. I think we are supposed to think of Itachi as someone noble and good who did his best and his only flaw was trying to do everything himself. Who Kishimoto thought would help Itachi in this situation I don't know. If that one line from Itachi about Sasuke being able to change the clan if he told him what was going is the answer then what the fuck Kishimoto how is a seven year old going to help here. But anyway I don't think Kishimoto wants us to think Itachi killing his clan was wrong and I don't think he wants us to think Konoha was wrong for pushing him into it. I also think no matter how hard it was on him Itachi still thought ultimately it was the Uchiha who should have changed to stop the massacre from happening rather than the other way around.

I think this because as I always have, and as I keep shouting to everyone to no avail, this is because Kishimoto clearly does not give a shit what happened to the Uchiha clan. The one person who cared, Sasuke, just stops caring after hearing Hashirama recount Romeo & Juliet and then he never talks about it again and it's just vaguely implied that Sasuke agrees with Itachi so he's over the whole dead parents and clan thing and now wants to change the world or something. If we were supposed to view Itachi as someone other than noble for what he did then there would be SOMETHING said about how it was wrong that the Uchiha clan is all dead but that doesn't happen. I know other people have their ideas about Itachi DID think what he did was wrong or he DID resent Konoha for making him kill his clan because of xyz. Of course anyone's headcanons are fine, but I'm just saying no one can say that as fact because if it was then at the very least there should be a hint somewhere in the narrative that we as readers should be sad that Itachi won't admit Konoha was wrong. Otherwise what's the point? Saying "Itachi did resent Konoha but he couldn't say it because he was under the protect Konoha genjutsu" only effects how the reader might feel about Itachi and serves nothing for the story since clearly the narrative doesn't care. Once again, it's fine to read it that way but you can't demand that every reader do the same because there's nothing to indicate that is how it should be read.

How it should have gone: I know about half or maybe even more of all Sasuke fans hate Itachi but let me be real. I think Itachi is a great character. I have some nitpicks but really overall the only thing I would change is I would take the fucking framing of Itachi and move it to the left. Because the problem with Itachi isn't the character, it's that Kishimoto missed the point.

The POINT of Itachi's character should have been: Itachi is a fuck up. Itachi spent his life getting called a genius, but whether it was something in his control or not nothing he did worked out for him. And it's really funny to me that Kishimoto flew right over that when he writes like he hates geniuses. There's Itachi sitting there with the whole problem with the idea of "a genius" right in front of him and Kishimoto doesn't take it. The problem being that being a genius at ninja-ing means being a genius at espionage and violence and strategy and not at a lot of other useful things like emotional intelligence or historical context.

I'm not going to complain that Itachi it overall shitty to Sasuke nor will I pretend he isn't. When I'm reading fiction I don't need characters to be good people or make good choices, I need them to make sense as a character. Itachi for me makes sense. You can deeply love someone, but be too traumatized and misguided to be any good at it or even know how to show love to another person. What I love about Itachi is that he was really shit at loving his brother which led to Sasuke going down the exact path Itachi desperately tried to get him not to go down. And it's through that failure that Itachi finally was able to give Sasuke the one thing he should have been giving him this entire time and what no one else will: unconditional love. I got no problems with that. The issue for me is that Konoha is never framed as wrong. If Itachi won't/can't admit it himself I think it would be a great idea to not frame Sasuke as being bad for saying what Konoha did was wrong. It would be a good way to develop Sasuke away from his hero-worship of Itachi. I don't have a problem that Sasuke is like that because it makes sense for his character, but I think it would be an interesting way to develop Sasuke's character. Sasuke could see that Itachi can't admit that what Konoha made him do was wrong and unnecessary and could be sad for Itachi as well as see that as a fault of Itachi's. Sasuke could come to see his brother as he was, a flawed man who made a lot of mistakes and didn't know everything (just like the narrative should see him). Which by the way I'm not necessarily saying Itachi is too stupid to realize Konoha was wrong, more like what if Itachi refuses to see that because it would be mentally and emotionally too devastating to confront the fact that he was completely in the wrong for killing his clan. I don't even think Itachi had a choice at that point since Danzo was threatening to come at Sasuke like he was a drunk Canadian and Sasuke was a baby seal, but I think psychologically Itachi's overwhelming guilt would override in his mind the fact that he had very limited options.

So yeah, Itachi. Very complicated character, but overall not much I would change that isn't framing. Itachi was always wrong and most decisions he had to make were out of his control but the decisions he did make were also bad.

[depressedhatakekakashi]

If the chuunin exams hadn't happened, we could have had so many Team Gai and Team 7 shenanigans (or probably not)

There's a cómic of the dynamic of every team at the beach. Kakashi is having a headache trying to keep his three gremlins from causing chaos, while Gai and Lee are fighting a giant octopus/squid while Neji and Tenten just watch them completely unimpressed.

And I can't stop thinking of Kakashi making the three gremlins go to Gai to help him (Naruto goes because he's feral, Sakura 'cause she's just as chaotic at that point and Sasuke 'cause like hell the dobe and Lee will do something better than him) and Gai being all for it.

And Kakashi, Neji and Tenten looking at them, then at each other, and just deciding to go vibe together somewhere calmer.

Of course, two of them are little shits and Neji is slowly turning into a moderate one, so they end up creating their own chaos, maybe doing something accidentally ilegal while looking cool and making a run for it like nothing happened because as long as Gai doesn't know this will totally be forgotten.

(Kishi was a coward. He knew the world wouldn't be able to handle so much chaotic energy.)

Kishi looked at the chaotic energy of Kakashi and Gai and decided that was more than enough for us. He was wrong.

I think Sakura would switch from activity to activity. Ya if it looks fun she’s joining in. Usually the activities are good for anger management and she has a lot of fun striking things. Other times she just wants to relax and explore the chaotic energy of being with Kakashi, Tenten and Neji.

Kakashi and Tenten will 9/10 times be doing something they definitely should not be doing, and Gai has had to sit his eternal rival down and tell him to stop being a bad influence to his students, but they continue anyways.

Meanwhile Gai is leading Kakashi’s students and Lee on daring adventures and heroic deeds. From fighting octopus’ to challenging each other to increasingly difficult tasks, they never stop. Sasuke can get tired of it and he does have limits on how ridiculous he will get, but usually he’ll cave and tag along because Naruto taunted him and he refuses to let him think he can do anything better than him.

Gai thinks his group is doing better, but at the end of the day both groups are probably winding themselves into some sort of trouble. Weather it’s becayse Naruto and Lee got a little too excited and ended up destroying a little shop because they got careless and went rolling into the wall, or because Kakashi Tenten and Neji did that maybe slightly illegal thing to the wrong person. Doesn’t matter Tsunade keeps having to call both teams into her office to yell at them and she knows when she send them out that absolutely nothing will change.

If Kakashi and Gai can’t be controlled neither can their gremlin children and Konoha is just going to have to learn how to adjust and survive XD

[madara-fate]

(This is long and I’m not a native speaker so wanted to warn beforehand)

I don’t agree with most of what they wrote about the shipppuden part where they claimed madara, obito and nagato was right (although I don’t really agree with their motives I believe thay had %100 rights about being angry at the village and the system) But You cannot honestly deny that most of the part I in naruto and the flashbacks it’s always naruto that starts to lash out violently at sasuke (when he doesn’t get to show off or couldn’t manage to throw shurikens as good as sasuke does) and sasuke just doesn’t cara he doesn’t even fight back he just dodges and naruto feels even more humiliated because of sasuke, it’s not sasuke’s fault that he feels inferior also sasuke could’ve bolted from orochimaru in the forest of death it was clear that even if he fought he couldn’t have beaten him and backup was coming if they would have tried to run maybe sasuke wouldn’t have get bitten (I’m not sayin it could have worked but it was a more reasonable solution than let’s fight the creppy snake dude who wants sasuke’s magic sharingan eyes and his pretty body) but you see naruto thought his pride and the exam was more important than his comrades he gave some encouragement and then passed out leaving sasuke to fight such dangerous person and sakura called him a coward that naruto at least does something and she didn’teven do anything whatsoever just watched while the love of his life nearly got killed??? ( don’t get me wrong i like sakura and she did placed herself against gaara and sasuke was prepared to die for him and she got plenty better afterwards and I would never deny her growth that’s why she is my second favorite character but at the forest of death she did nothing and accuse someone who always does the most work of doing nothing) back to the point is i don’t understand why naruto feels it’s sasuke’s fault when he clearly is the one who starts the fights oh and don’t give me that ‘but naruto was 6 hes a child of course he gonna get jealous’ card kakashi was chunnin at that age which brings to another set of problems being that how can they send children to a war and such when they are so young and inexperienced

Look at it from that perceptive your father commits suicide because he saves his comrades instead of doing the mission wich if he was able to save his comrades that must mean they can’t have been that much of a large number (why send so little people to such a dangerous mission in the firs place even if it was a stealth mission and there was war going on why can’t you prioritize your ninjas lives over mission why can’t you have teams that can back them up now I understand sacrifice for the better good but to a village that always brags about teamwork and comrades it sounds too hypocritical to me) Sakumo feels shame not because he saved his comrades but because his status falled ridiculously so much and he was mocked despised for his decision (that was the reason he died because of people he couldn’t take it that was the said reason in cannon) but for some reason kakashi instead of feeling resentment to the village that took his family becomes their most loyal trusted asset I understand why people feel disappointed at his character that doesn’t mean he can’t be loyal to something but he never once doesn’t seem to question why the purpose to all of this loss (please don’t talk about children they send them to wars when it’s convenient to maintain the status quo cuz they have to show their power it wouldn’t stop once there’s peace if there’s any war they still would send them.The strongest village, I remember someone said about Konoha that it’s the biggest ninja village and have the most ninja population so there can’t be that much civilians and kids that aren’t ninja Konoha makes the most money from missions it’s a ninja village not an civilized village)

Now I myself like naruto and kakashi I just don’t like what they represent that you must be ready to sacrifice everything for the village and if someone you care about dies along the way you have no right to be angry at the village because ya know that’s treason I think that anon wasn’t especially angry at naruto himself more than his fans. His fans that doesn’t see a broken child born out of neglect that’s ready to do everything for acknowledgement,bonds,family and friends that he’s blind to what lays underneath but thay see this perfect being that could do no wrong who had it worse than everyone but now he is just an perfect hero no longer that lonely child

Our problem with naruto isn’t naruto himself but people who refuse to see his arrogance (that even itachi pointed out in the war) that they are too far gone they undermine all others pain and suffering to uplift naruto (their precious self-insert)

That’s what i think anyway i’m not trying to impose my opinion on anyone but I just wanted to hear your opinion on those matters but feel free to ignore it if you don’t have anything to say on those matters I understand that not everyone would want to delve that deep into fiction it’s for our enjoyment at the end of the day and everyone could interpret fiction in their own way some might not want to deal with them by saying it in a fictional world it doesn’t work like ours so children going to war is okay there because the narrative doesn’t make a big deal out of it but I don’t believe that I think every fiction mirrors our own world and problems somehow but I get that it’s an escapism and you want to keep that away from that fictional world that has no flaws,it’s different for everyone and i don’t mind honestly

So you created an account just to say this? *Sigh*, okay then.

I'll begin by saying how I have a lot less to say about your ask in comparison to the original Anon, because the original's was just filled to the brim with utter nonsense, while yours isn't. However there are still several things wrong here.

You cannot honestly deny that most of the part I in naruto and the flashbacks it’s always naruto that starts to lash out violently at sasuke (when he doesn’t get to show off or couldn’t manage to throw shurikens as good as sasuke does) and sasuke just doesn’t cara he doesn’t even fight back he just dodges and naruto feels even more humiliated because of sasuke, it’s not sasuke’s fault that he feels inferior

Yeah that's true, but do you think that makes Naruto a terrible person or something? Or a "detestable child" as the other Anon so eloquently put it? No one with a good head on their shoulders thinks that Naruto was a saint as a child. He was a troublemaker with a bad attitude who got up to no good, people know and acknowledge that. However, we also acknowledge the reasons he became that way, and don't form conclusions regarding his worth as a person based on his juvenile antics as a child who was starving for any form of attention.

but you see naruto thought his pride and the exam was more important than his comrades he gave some encouragement and then passed out leaving sasuke to fight such dangerous person

Explain to me how on earth you reached the conclusion that Naruto apparently thought that his pride and the exams were more important than his comrades from this? Please explain that to me. How does Naruto fighting back against Orochimaru, giving Sasuke a pep talk, and then passing out, somehow equate to him prioritising his pride and the exams above the lives of his comrades? That makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. Quite frankly, that is a preposterous conclusion to reach from that scenario. Opting to fight rather than flee does not automatically equate to caring more about your pride than the lives of your friends. I also love how you word it as Naruto "leaving" Sasuke to fight such a dangerous person, as if that was his intention - To get Orochimaru riled up, and then just leave Sasuke to deal with the consequences because he's just such a prick. Yeah that's not what happened.

and sakura called him a coward that naruto at least does something and she didn’t even do anything whatsoever just watched while the love of his life nearly got killed??? ( don’t get me wrong i like sakura and she did placed herself against gaara and sasuke was prepared to die for him and she got plenty better afterwards and I would never deny her growth that’s why she is my second favorite character but at the forest of death she did nothing and accuse someone who always does the most work of doing nothing)

This I agree with and I've made this point before - about how wrong it was for Sakura to have called Sasuke a coward in that situation, despite the fact that he was the one fighting while she was doing nothing. However, I've still always remained firm that Naruto had the right to label Sasuke as a coward in that situation (just as Sasuke had the right to label Naruto as a coward previously during the Land of waves). Naruto was right to do so, Sakura wasn't.

back to the point is i don’t understand why naruto feels it’s sasuke’s fault when he clearly is the one who starts the fights oh and don’t give me that ‘but naruto was 6 hes a child of course he gonna get jealous’ card kakashi was chunnin at that age which brings to another set of problems being that how can they send children to a war and such when they are so young and inexperienced

You don't understand why Naruto feels that what is Sasuke's fault? Naruto never once expressed the idea that Sasuke was at fault for any of their confrontations at the Academy. Furthermore, I can very much give you the "Naruto was just a child" card. You think using Kakashi's maturity at the same age justifies your assertion that people can't use that excuse? As if everyone was just like Kakashi when they were 6 years old? No it doesn't work that way. Naruto was behaving how you'd expect a 6 year old child with no parents to behave. Kakashi was the anomaly here, not the rule of behaviour.

I'm also not gonna get into the whole "child soldiers" debate because that's a whole other discussion and was never part of the original topic. The point of this was to address the original Anon's absurd claims regarding Naruto, and that's where we'll stay. So everything you said about the child soldiers was interesting, but is for another day. What I'll say regarding Kakashi and Sakumo though, is that Sakumo's treatment at the hands of the village following his mission's failure was never portrayed positively. You asked...

but for some reason kakashi instead of feeling resentment to the village that took his family becomes their most loyal trusted asset

Well I'll tell you why - It's for exactly the same reason why Sasuke eventually became one of Konoha's top protectors despite the ordeal with the Uchiha massacre. It's because the people who are currently residing in the village, are not the same people who wronged Kakashi's father. The current village has nothing to do with Sakumo's suicide, just like how the village itself was not responsible for the Uchiha massacre. The current village no longer abides by those outdated beliefs that the mission must be prioritised above all else. So why would Kakashi feel resentment towards those who had absolutely nothing to do with his father's suicide? There's something you can ask yourself. The village as it is now, is not the same village it was back then; people come and go, as do ideals.

Now I myself like naruto and kakashi I just don’t like what they represent that you must be ready to sacrifice everything for the village and if someone you care about dies along the way you have no right to be angry at the village because ya know that’s treason

That is not a view that has ever been highlighted in the series, so I really don't know where you got that one from. No one ever stated or indicated that you can't be angry or frustrated with the village hierarchy when a comrade dies during a mission because that would apparently be seen as treacherous. It's actually very ironic that you would say this in an ask criticising Naruto, because Naruto is actually the one who disproves your assertion in this case. If you recall, when Naruto was informed of Jiraiya's passing, he went on a tirade against Tsunade, saying that it was her fault he died, berating her for sending him to such a dangerous place alone etc.

Now during this entire ordeal, was Naruto ever depicted as the one in the wrong? No, he was portrayed as the sympathetic figure who was deeply grieving the loss of his beloved master. Everyone who saw Naruto as he was mourning, acknowledged that he had every right to feel that way, so of course no one was going to reprimand him for lashing out at Tsunade in the manner that he did.

I think that anon wasn’t especially angry at naruto himself more than his fans. His fans that doesn’t see a broken child born out of neglect that’s ready to do everything for acknowledgement, bonds, family and friends that he’s blind to what lays underneath but thay see this perfect being that could do no wrong who had it worse than everyone but now he is just an perfect hero no longer that lonely child

Our problem with naruto isn’t naruto himself but people who refuse to see his arrogance (that even itachi pointed out in the war) that they are too far gone they undermine all others pain and suffering to uplift naruto (their precious self-insert)

Well as I said before, those with a good head on their shoulders know that Naruto is far from a perfect being, but also know that everything the previous Anon was saying about him was bullshit, simple as that. That being said, I'd rather you didn't speak for that other Anon, because according to everything they said, they most definitely did have a major problem with Naruto himself.

That’s what i think anyway i’m not trying to impose my opinion on anyone but I just wanted to hear your opinion on those matters but feel free to ignore it if you don’t have anything to say on those matters I understand that not everyone would want to delve that deep into fiction it’s for our enjoyment at the end of the day and everyone could interpret fiction in their own way some might not want to deal with them by saying it in a fictional world it doesn’t work like ours so children going to war is okay there because the narrative doesn’t make a big deal out of it but I don’t believe that I think every fiction mirrors our own world and problems somehow but I get that it’s an escapism and you want to keep that away from that fictional world that has no flaws, it’s different for everyone and i don’t mind honestly.

I won't ignore what you said. I asked for someone to respond with their account and you did, so the least I can do is give credit where credit is due, and fulfil my end of the agreement. I had some things to say on the matter as well, but I'll reiterate that the child soldier stuff is far too big a topic to delve into here, and it would be going on a tangent that I'd like to avoid. All I wanted to do here was to see someone actually try to explain and justify the ridiculous accusations the initial Anon was throwing in Naruto's direction, but you didn't actually do that, you took a more understandable approach which I can appreciate, despite still finding issues with a lot of what you said.

[writingwhimsey]

The Tiger and the Oda Princess Ch. 14

Chapter 14

It had been almost two months since the festival. I was only a mere two weeks away from my due date and the weather was heating up. It seemed like spring had sped right by. Nobunaga and the others visited when they could It seemed we had a gathering at least once a month. And since I was so far along, everyone was coming our way.

Since the heat had gotten so bad and I was even hotter thanks to all of the hormones flowing through my body, I had made myself some more summery attire. I had made some simple A-line sleeveless dresses out of the lightest fabrics I could find. I did make them down to my ankles so that I wouldn't scandalize the Sengoku era populace too much. Though I hardly left the palace anymore.

I sat in the shade of the veranda, fanning myself. "Oh, how I miss air conditioning...and ice cream." I spoke to myself. "And popsicles...snow cones."

"Trying to cool yourself down by thinking cool thoughts, my love?" Shingen asked as he came out to sit beside me.

"It's not working very well." I replied.

"Perhaps this will help." He said, setting a tray between us.

I looked at the tray. It held sliced up water melon and some water. "That might help." I answered, smiling.

Shingen leaned over and kissed my forehead. He was then taking the fan from my hand and began to fan me. "Allow me, my goddess."

I felt my cheeks redden. "You don't have to do that...though it does feel nice...thank you."

Shingen smiled at me. "I just want to do what I can to make you comfortable. What kind of husband would I be if I let my wife suffer? Especially while she is doing one of the most difficult things of life."

Shingen had only grown more attentive as my pregnancy went on. He really is the sweetest and the best! I thought to myself. It was at that though that tears began to sting my eyes. "Oh...dammit." I muttered as I wiped at the tears.

Shingen reached his hand up to my face, gently wiping away my tears with his finger tips. "Ava, my love, what's wrong?" He asked.

"Nothing...I'm crying because I'm happy." I answered. "And you're just...you're so wonderful and love me...so much...I just..." I was then dissolving into a puddle of tears.

Shingen put a comforting arm around my shoulders but continued to fan me. He kissed the top of my head. "It's alright my love." He whispered to me.

We sat like that for a time before I finally finished crying. Shingen was then making sure I drank my water and handed me the water melon. "I can't wait for this baby t get here." I said. "I'm tired of being pregnant...and being so emotional...and of being so damn hot."

"Perhaps a dip in the river would help cool you off?" Shingen suggested.

"Oh...that does sound nice." I replied. It was then that I remembered Nobunaga and some of the others were supposed to be visiting today. "But wait, aren't Nobunaga and the others supposed to be coming by today?"

"Yes, Nobunaga and I have some strategies to discuss." He answered. "You should go to the river, take Asuna and some guards with you. After my meeting with Nobunaga, I will come to you."

"Are you sure?" I asked.

Shingen nodded. "Yes, I just want you to be comfortable."

I smiled up at Shingen. "I love you, Shingen."

He returned my smile, leaning down to then gently kiss my lips. "I love you, Ava."

I finished the water melon and water. Then Shingen was helping me up. My belly was so large that I couldn't get up and down without assistance now. Sitting down was also a chore in all honesty. We walked inside...well Shingen walked, I had begun waddling. When we arrived Asuna and a group of guards were already waiting for me. Yukimura was among my guards.

"Here, I brought your lightest haori." Asuna said, draping the garment over my shoulders. "We do still need to keep the sun off of you."

"I know." I replied with a sigh. Ah, sunscreen how I miss you, too. I thought to myself.

It was then that Kenshin, Sasuke, and the Oda were arriving. "You weren't about to leave, were you?" Nobunaga asked, looking at us.

"Just Ava and the guards." Shingen answered.

"Where are you headed?" Masamune asked.

"to cool off in the river." I answered. "It is ungodly hot and I am roasting." I was then pulling out my fan to begin fanning myself. However, I dropped my fan. "Dammit." I muttered.

Shingen instantly bent to pick it up for me and gently placed it in my hand. "Don't worry." He told me with a gentle smile.

"What's the matter you can't pick up your own things now?" Came a teasing voice from Mitsuhide.

I felt my cheeks redden. "Shut it, Mitsuhide." I snapped.

"She can try...it's pretty funny to watch her." Yukimura replied. "She also can't sit down or stand up without help."

"Yukimura." Asuna said, giving him a slap to the back of the head the same time Shingen flicked him between the eyes.

"Owe, what was that for?!" He remarked.

"That is not the way to talk to or about a beautiful woman." Shingen replied.

"You're such an idiot." Asuna added.

"I'd like to see you try being pregnant." I remarked, glaring at Yukimura.

"You really should be nicer to her." Hideyoshi agreed. "How are you feeling, Ava?"

"Hot." I answered, furiously fanning myself. I was then looking at Sasuke. "Think you can keep everyone in line?" I asked.

"Of course. I will just litter the ground with Makibishi spikes." He replied. "You go cool off and don't worry about a thing."

"We can all get along." Shingen added, lifting a hand to stroke my hair.

"We don't always devolve into fighting." Nobunaga agreed, almost sounding like a petulant child.

I couldn't help but to giggle. "Sure, sure."

Shingen smiled warmly at me. He was then taking my hand and placing a gentle kiss on it. "I swear to you, we will all be on our best behavior. You have nothing to worry about, my princess."

I smiled, my cheeks reddening. "Okay. You guys have fun."

"I think it's be more fun to go with you to the river." Masamune said, grinning. "See both you girls splashing around."

"I hate to disappoint you, but I'm going to find a nice shady cool shady spot and just sit in the river." I replied.

"And I will just be sitting beside her." Asuna added. "Also trying to cool off."

"Be fun to be there when you stand up then." Masamune said his grin widening and his eye roaming up and down Asuna's body.

Asuna was walking over and slapping Masamune upside the head. "I don't know who is the bigger idiot you or Yukimura." She was then groaning.

I was holding back more laughter. It was a moment later that Shingen and I were sharing a kiss and I was heading off with Asuna, Yukimura, and my guards. Though it was a short distance to the river, we had to stop and take frequent breaks as I was becoming winded very easily.

We finally arrived at the river and we found a rather nice shady spot. Yukimura and the guards set up a perimeter and checked things out. Asuna laid out a blanket and picnic basket. She had also packed some extra clothes, since we would be wading into the river still clothed.

I made my way into the river and then found a nice spot that I could sit down in. Asuna of course was helping me every step of the way. "How are you feeling, Ava?" Asuna asked me.

"So much better." I answered with a contented sigh as the cool water washed over me.

"Just a couple more weeks." Asuna told me.

"I just wish they would get here already." I replied. "I am starting to get so tired of being pregnant."

Asuna laughed. "I hate to tell you, but it's only about to get worse."

I let out a groan. "I feel like it wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for this heat."

"I really don't see what is so bad about being pregnant." Yukimura spoke up from the riverbank.

"Oh, I don't know. Only my entire body is changing. I have another person inside of my body, growing and kicking me at all hours of the night. Pushing on my internal organs. Not to mention I cry over the dumbest things. Then there's all of the embarrassing stuff that my body does and I have no control over it..."

"Okay, okay I am sorry I asked." Yukimura replied.

As usual Yukimura had irritated me. So I decided to splash him in the face.

"Haha!" Asuna laughed. "Direct hit! Nice shot, Ava."

"What was that for?" Yukimura asked looking so much like a puppy.

"For acting like being pregnant is no big deal." I replied.

Asuna was then splashing him as well. "The simple answer is that you're an idiot."

Yukimura grumbled, but looked at Asuna with an almost tender smile. I totally ship them. I thought with a grin. I think Asuna would be good for Yukimura, too. He needs someone who can kick his butt and knock some sense into him.

"What's with that look on your face, Ava?" Asuna asked me.

"Nothing." I lied.

Asuna eyed me. Then her cheeks became red. "You'd better not be thinking what I think you're thinking."

"I don't know what you're talking about." I replied with a grin.

"What are you two even talking about?" Yukimura asked.

"Nothing." Asuna and I answered in unison and then both giggled.

"Women." Yukimura muttered with an eye roll.

I started laughing again. Then Asuna splashed me. "What was that for?" I asked.

"Just want you to stop thinking what I know you're thinking." She answered.

I splashed her back. We played like that a few moments before dissolving into a giggle fit. It was in the middle of my laughter that I felt a tightening in my belly. I gasped.

"Ava?" Asuna asked, catching onto it right away.

"It's nothing." I replied.

"Ava, I am your midwife." She said.

"I just...I felt a tightening is all." I answered. "Right here" I then gestured to where I had felt the pang.

"That could be labor pains." She said.

"You mean like...my labor is starting?" I asked.

"You're far enough along that you should be experiencing practice labor. Your body is warming up for the real thing."

"That makes sense." I replied. It was then that I felt the tightening again. It was a bit sharper this time.

"Did you feel it again?" Asuna asked.

"Yeah."

"Maybe we should get you back to the castle." Asuna said. "Two weeks isn't too early. We should go back...just in case."

I nodded. "Alright."

We got out of the river. Yukimura and the guards turned their backs as Asuna and I changed. As soon as I was changed, it was then that felt another pang and then something wet was falling down my legs. "Uh...did...did my water just break?"

"Yes, yes it did. Let's get going." Asuna answered.

https://writingwhimsey.tumblr.com/post/659492281348472832/the-tiger-and-the-oda-princess-ch-15

[rayshippouuchiha]

Consider this: Naruto remembering how bad his time at the orphanage was, so he makes his own orphanage where he takes care of a bunch of kids and he just one big mother hen?

First things first for this shiny new AU we take the vast majority of canon and we just … shove it over there and put a tarp over it.  It’s my playground now.

And it’s not, exactly, what you asked about but my mind took a sharp left turn so uhhhhhhhh…. here?

So Sarutobi is old right? He’s old and he’s tired and Minato, his precious successor and tragic predecessor, has left him with a shattered village out for blood and a babe weighted down by burden far heavier than one small child should ever be forced to carry.

Sarutobi, with his age catching up to him and his beloved Biwako gone now too … well in the end he only has the strength to handle one of those things.

He tries at first of course.  Places Naruto with minders and nurses.  It ends … poorly.  For the babe and the one’s assigned to watch him.

But Sarutobi still tries.  For four years he tries.

Until the time comes when he’s left staring down at Naruto on a hospital bed, too thin and too wild, with two dead matrons left in his ANBU’s wake.

In that moment Sarutobi knows he’s just … stretched too thin to keep doing this.

And the needs of the many have always took precedence over the needs of the few, or the one.

So when Danzo comes to call, hands out stretched and whispers of strength and protection, promises of training and loyalty on his lips ….

Sarutobi weeps that night, closed in the privacy of his office.

He weeps but he doesn’t call for the child back.

Still a part of him knows that he will carry the shame of choosing the village over Minato’s son for the rest of his life.

And he will.

By the Sage he will.

~~~

Danzo sends him updates of course, glowing records of Naruto’s growth, his strength, his wit, his raw sort of power and the sheer ocean of chakra the boy contains.

There’d not been such promise seen at such an age since Kakashi himself and then Itachi after him.

For three years Sarutobi is able to place the matter mostly from his mind.  Even when Kakashi asks more and more often after the boy.  Even when Mikoto comes calling month after month for her godson.

And then … then it all goes wrong.  Or, perhaps, it goes right.  Either way everything changes.

There’s whispers of a uprising, of Uchiha discontent. Danzo advocates for force before Sarutobi gets through to him and the war hawk retreats to his perch to let diplomacy handle the issue.

Or so Sarutobi thinks right up until the night Uchiha Itachi comes to him, tears streaming down his face and a black banded scroll in hand, and begs for his family’s lives.

Sarutobi stares down at this boy, this child of 13 if that, on his knees begging not to have to murder his own family and knows that Danzo has been allowed to go too far.

So Sarutobi goes to Danzo, to the heart of Root that he has so long overlooked.

Only what he discovers … what he walks in on …

Carnage.  Blood and bodies and death all around.  Danzo, body shredded, laying discarded like a doll to the side.

And there, in the center, is a boy.

Small and lean with muscle, thick golden hair long and shaggy, Minato’s son stares up at him from where he kneels in the middle of so much destruction.

In one hand he clutches a bloodied, black banded headband, the claws of his other hand are caked in blood.

“Konoha is our home,” Naruto whispers, eyes a burning blue and pupils slit like a fox. The words sound like a vow.  “The Tree must be protected.  The rot burned away.  We could not allow him to cut away an entire bough that could still be saved.”

‘Oh,’ Sarutobi thinks somewhat helplessly as he stares down at the prince of two villages that he left to be tainted like this, ‘oh may the gods see me damned.’

This is how Root ends.  At the hands of what was meant to be its greatest weapon.

Because what Sarutobi and Danzo both did not know was this:

The Uzumaki blood breeds ever true and mixed with a child nurtured for 10 months in an Uzumaki mother’s womb saturated with Biju chakra?

That child was never going to be mindless.

~~~

Sarutobi cleans up the mess as best he can. Makes peace with the Uchiha at long last.  Enfolds the remaining Root members into ANBU or various other secure sections for deprogramming.

But Naruto …

Sarutobi owes him, owes Minato and Kushina both, a debt for what he’s allowed to happen, for what Naruto has prevented from coming to pass.

And yet …

What to do with the boy?

~~~

In the end Sarutobi does what he, perhaps, should have done the first time around.

He gives the boy a new headband, an apartment and a stipend from his parent’s accounts, assigns him a watcher, and steps back and away.

~~~

The reports read that Naruto lives like a machine in so many ways.  Too regulated and strict for a child his age.

He takes mission after mission, clearing out entire swaths of D ranks per day since he’s not yet allowed out of the village.

His spare time is spent in relentless training.  There are no friends, no one he speaks to.

Sarutobi isn’t sure if he’ll ever be able to salvage what’s been broken here.

He’s not even sure if he has the right to try.

But Naruto is, if nothing else, loyal to the village and has shown no more outwards signs of violence.

So perhaps a hands off approach is for the best.

~~~

Then, a little over a year later, Naruto’s schedule abruptly changes.

The alert from Cat comes three weeks after that.

Sarutobi stares down at his kneeling ANBU and feels completely at a loss.

~~~

“No one wants him,” Naruto says softly.  Because that’s how he always speaks, always does everything.  Softly.  Right up until the moment that softness becomes viciousness.  “The matron didn’t want another mouth to feed.”

“Naruto, my boy, you can’t keep him.” Sarutobi tries to explain.

“Why?” Naruto asks, arms gentle around the baby boy with his light green hair.  Cradling him like something precious.  “I got the books and the supplies.  I can care for him.”

Sarutobi glances around the small apartment, takes in the stacks of parenting books and the rigidly organized crates of supplies.

The boy does look prepared and yet he’s only …

Sarutobi cuts the thought off before it can form because it’s not true is it?

Naruto’s not a child.  Never has been.  Sarutobi’s own foolishness had seen to that.

And Naruto is, Sarutobi think, so obviously, achingly, lonely.

“No one wanted me but that man,” Naruto whispers then, something wounded in his voice that Sarutobi has never heard before.  “I won’t let that happen to him.”

Sarutobi’s eyes clench closed for a split second.

And his decision is made.

~~~

The child, a boy that Naruto names Masahiro, is the first.

Only the first in what becomes a line of many.

~~~

It becomes a modern sort of legend in the village quickly enough, the unwanted children who disappear.

The orphanages are no longer the only option.

Children turned away to sleep on doorsteps and in alleys don’t stay there for long.

The blossoms from the Lotus District will occasionally leave their unwanted buds and shoots in baskets by the roadside shrines.

They’re never there by morning.

Leaves stolen by the wind.

~~~

Sarutobi knows the truth though.

And the kindest thing he can do is make it all easier for Naruto.

Shifted funds here, an opened account there, property titles signed over and delivered on a warm evening.

It’s not much but Sarutobi does what he can to help Naruto and the little family he’s growing thrive.

~~~

Time passes.

The children Naruto takes, children of various ages but all of them to a one unwanted, blossom like flowers in the sun under the boy’s care.

Even the ones Naruto takes in that are older than him look to him for care and guidance.

Some eventually enter the Academy, more leaves for the great tree, and they are all, to a one, strong and fierce and already so well trained and loyal.

They love the village.  They speak of Naruto only in whispers and never by name.

Time passes.

Sarutobi hates himself more for reasons he can barely understand.

~~~

Itachi, like so many of the jounin and off duty shinobi in the village, goes to Sasuke’s graduation.

It is, after all, a year supposedly filled with Clan Heirs so it’s a bit more of a production than normal.

Amongst the crowd his precious little brother is pouting but proud all at the same time with his headband firmly in place.

What he’s not expecting is the sight of another graduate standing with a fresh headband in place.  The boy’s six or so at best and his green hair is bright in the sun.

“That’s Masahiro,” Sasuke grouses from Itachi’s elbow after the students have been allowed to mingle with the crowd.

Itachi blinks just a bit in shock.  His duties keep him far from the Academy besides walking Sasuke home every so often.  Somehow he hadn’t realized the Masahiro Sasuke always complained about, this year’s rookie of the year, was so young.

And then Masahiro, face calm and even, abruptly squeals, expression breaking out into such unbridled delight that all of the gathered shinobi and civilians take note.

“Papa,” Masahiro shouts, practically vibrating with delight.  “You came!!”

And then the boy’s moving with almost breathtaking speed.

Itachi’s not the only shinobi to turn to see who might be the father of this boy.

Only Itachi’s shocked by what he sees and almost certain he’s misheard.

Because Masahiro, is wrapped around another child.

The boy’s pretty in a delicate but rough sort of way that makes his age hard to pin down but he is obviously young.  Sasuke’s age at most but obviously well trained with his hair long and jagged where it’s pulled back from his face, kimono blue and flowing and headband wrapped around his waist like a belt.

Itachi, for all his familiarity with the shinobi corps overall, is sure he’s never seen him before.

“Papa,” Masahiro’s voice is loud and vibrant.  “You came, you came!”

“I promised,” the blond says softly, voice husky and surprisingly deep.

Around them the crowd murmurs.

And then others begin to move forward much to Itachi, and many of the other jonin’s shock.

“Big Brother,” a genin graduate from the year before calls out as he moves closer.  Itachi’s sure the genin is older than the blond and yet ..

And then there’s another and another, a genin here, a chunin there, all of them rustling Masahiro’s hair and turning towards the blond like flowers to the sun.

Itachi watches, confused and curious all at the same time.

And then, the blond looks up, and for a split second all Itachi can see is blue.

~~~

Later, once the crowds have dispersed, the shinobi more than likely headed toward the Tower to question Sarutobi, Itachi finds himself walking home Sasuke.

And there, on the street ahead of them, stand Masahiro and his Papa.

For a long moment all Itachi can do is stare.

And then the boy, head tilted to the side and Masahiro clinging to his kimono sleeve, steps closer.

“I remember you,” the boy says softly, golden hair gleaming in the sunlight as he brings a clawed hand up towards Itachi’s face.

“I don’t know you,” Itachi replies honestly, aware of the way Sasuke has gone still and silent beside him.

“Hmm, no one did then but you helped me once, on a mission.” The boy says.  “You were kind.  And no one was ever kind to me.  And then he told you to kill them all, the Uchiha Clan.”

Itachi’s breath catches, his heart skips a beat.  Danzo.  This boy knows about Danzo.  At his side Sasuke sucks in a sharp, ragged, breath.

“You said you loved your village and your family and then you cried,” the boy sounds almost awed by the memory as he presses his fingertips to Itachi’s cheeks.  “I’d never seen anyone else cry before.  I couldn’t let him take your family from you.”

The boy’s eyes flick in Sasuke’s direction then.

“I’m glad I killed him,” the blond whispers and then he smiles.

And in that moment Itachi falls completely in love.

[avenger-hawk]

Hi, can you talk a little bit about naruto’s dark, controlling and possessive side? Or if you already wrote about it, link me the post? Thankss

I mentioned something here, here and probably there is smth in this tag. 

And like I said countless times since you guys just don’t care about other ppl, if you write n*ruto’s name entirely it will show up in the search pages and I am fed up with raging SN/SN.S/Nar stans bitching at me.

Sorry (nope, not sorry) to break someone’s bubble but Nar is not a happy ball of sunshine and he’s not selfless. 

He was neglected as a child, totally abandoned to himself with some money each month and an apartment he was supposed to clean and manage all alone. He was shunned or treated like sh*t by villagers and classmates alike, his only ‘parent’ was Iruka who couldn’t be with him always, and his idea of friendship, family, everything was twisted, cause try living all by yourself since you’re a child and you have no idea of why ppl hate you and avoid you. Of course he saw the Hokage as this big authority figure that everyone respects and ‘loves’ in his child mind, and of course he wanted to be Hokage so that ppl would finally respect and ‘love’ him. His idea of love is obviously screwed, and it’s a mix of respect, aknowledgement, deference.

He doesn’t have a sense of equality because he never learned what equality is. He was below everyone else being shunned and hated, and his role model was above everyone else, where he aspired to be.

He started to make friends and he’s all about comrades, yes, like all shounen protagonists. But it’s always him reaching out to them, him protecting them, him changing their minds about something (or about himself), him obtaining their admiration and respect from an initial situation of being the opposite, being considered a good for nothing and a loser.

Sasuke is considered the opposite since the beginning, he’s a good student and shinobi, he’s left all alone too and nothing is shown of his alone life but from the little things we see he learned to manage himself and the house better, he didn’t care about people probably talking behind his back about the massacre, and he obtained a good reputation in the academy, so the story starts with him in a different situation. And Nar considers him a rival, he’s clearly jealous of the ‘success’ he has, not realizing that he’s alone too. Because Nar is not empathic at all, and his child self is even less, being a child with clear difficulties in processing things, which makes sense since he had no education basically. He just sees external signs of adjustment and ‘success’ which is what he wants, so he ‘hates’ Sasuke and he provokes him all the time. They become rivals, then comrades (and rivals), then friends, but it’s always Sasuke who, despite his aloof personality, shows positive signs, first hand feeding him, then defending him against Sak*ra, then shielding him and many other little things while Nar is always overreacting or doing questionable, not to say bad things (like attacking him and tying him up to meet Sak*ra) to him.

Nar’s lack of empathy can be seen after the inn scene, cause instead of being I won’t even say supportive but, not irritating, he mocks Sasuke who just woke up after Tsukuyomi, provoking him so that Sasuke, already (re)traumatized and feeling worthless towards both his brother and Naru, challenges him. Right after waking up from a coma, basically. And ofc Nar doesn’t hold back.

When Sasuke leaves in part 1 Nar is enraged, ofc, and he reacts violently, even their fight is very violent, and ofc it is being a fight, but Nar is really really brutal, feral I’d say, and possessive, trying to bring him back. I don’t remember their fight well but if I’m not mistaken that’s when he first threatens Sasuke to break all his bones?

Then Sasuke leaves and Nar starts his own “sad boy missing his ‘best friend’ drama” and all the fandom is uwu look at him so sensitive, but he’s being abstract there, while when he faces Sasuke direcly or indirectly he’s different, more direct and not sentimental. As expected of a badass fighter, cause that’s what he is, that’s what everyone is in the story. when in part 2 Orochimaru calls Sasuke ‘his’ he goes berserk, and his search for Sasuke becomes even more obsessive, to the point of claiming that if they’ll fight they’ll both die and theyll be ok in the afterlife...this is kinda poetic but also creepy af. It’s stalker material tbh. Also because in that moment Sasuke just ‘killed’ Danzo, he’s exhausted, visibly blind, especially after fighting Kakashi, whose fight clearly took his toll on him (He avoided Sak*ra’s pathetic attempt to kill him but that was easy). Nar has all his energies and he’s stronger physically anyway having more stamina and kyuubi’s chakra. But he’s ready to fight him, even tho he gives a speech because ofc. too bad that Sasuke doesn’t fall for it cause he has his own personality and his own goals, which for Nar is unacceptable cause everyone must be on his side, especially the one he wants.

Sasuke remains on his own side until Itachi does his thing and bla bla bla, Itachi first is brougth close to Nar which was interesting to watch but also a huge narrative move to bring Sasuke to his side as well, getting to fight alongside his beloved brother and wanting to understand him and his ideal of protecting Konoha thus summoning Orochimaru, the 4 Hokage and deciding to join the battlefield. Then they fight together and even then it’s Sasuke who accepts Naru’s lead, not the other way round because Nar would never obey anyone who’s not himself especially he wouldn’t obey someone he wants to possess, metaphorically (but if you like also literally).

When the battle is over and their battle starts he shows his true colors. He’s no longer the one wanting to die with his ‘friend’, he’s a leader wanting Sasuke, his ‘friend’ who in his eyes took the wrong road, to get back to the village, because Konoha is HIS concept of happiness. In fact, Sasuke in Konoha is Nar’s concept of happiness. And to obtain it he uses every method, not just a good ol’ fight, the more brutal the better. In fact their last fight has a different vibe, it’s Sasuke the one who’s more stressed and emotional, he’s drained, completely, cause he wants his revolution and he wants to change the world to make him like Itachi dreamed of, and he needs to eliminate Nar for it, he doesn’t want to eliminate him but he needs to and he clearly explains him why in the beginning of the fight. The way he fights is desperate.

Nar instead is calm, his emotions are under control, he fights with his hands but also with mind techniques because he manipulates Sasuke all the time: he tells him that he didn’t understand his own brother (implying that he did it better. That he, who interacted with Edo Tensei Itachi for a couple of hours, understands him better than the brother who basically worships him!), that everything he believes is wrong, that he knows what’s best for him (which is interestingly exactly what he wanted in life, what a coincidence). And it works, cause Sasuke admits his own defeat, and, later, he is further brainwashed and guilt tripped, jailed and submitted until he’s a perfect Konoha dog. Even in his Shinden episodes he’s away but loyal and guilt ridden for his actions. He became Naru’s watchdog, his most loyal servant. Not his equal. He fulfilled Naru’s wish for him.

And, in case someone’s still not enraged because Hawk how dare you shit on their amazing bond?  shocking huh? yeah I write what I think and I am very interested in their bond actually, since it’s a dark unhealthy one, completely unbalanced, just like I’m interested in Nar very much when he’s not idealized, cause he’s much more complex and interesting with his dark side.

Every episode shows Nar’s lack of care and empathy, his inner violence and selfishness, but they also are justified somehow. I can understand why, since his childhood made him self-centered and lacking the ability to interact with people on an equal basis, basically he never grew up for real, he acted like a grown up person but he remained a child inside, a possessive child who wants something and then discards it. And it shows whenever he ‘saves’ someone with his TnJ, this someone becomes his ‘friend’, loyal to him forever, and he moves on to ‘save’ someone else, all the while having Sasuke as his ultimate goal. Too bad that after he saves him too, he discards him as well. Not as much as the other cause Sasuke is special to him, but not as an equal either. I won’t mention the jail moment while Naru is basking in his popularity cause some don’t see it as canon, but when in the manga Sasuke is leaving Konoha and stumbles on Nar he says he didn’t think the other would come greet him. This shows how their relationship isn’t so amazing, since one would imagine that Nar would be 24/7 with Sasuke after he comes back.

So, all these moments show a clear picture of him as a possessive and selfish person who only ‘cares’ about ppl because he wants to be ‘loved’ (=admired and respected and aknowledged as the best) by said ppl, and whose ‘love’ for Sasuke is possessive and obsessive to an extreme point, a desire to be aknowledged and respected but also to submit the one whom he most ‘loves’, because there is no equality in the way Nar sees himself and the rest of the world, including ‘his’ ‘best friend’.

(btw if someone disagrees, keep it for yourself, I don’t give a damn about discussing with you)

[stickyricewithmangosauce]

Godlike does not mean good

I myself would call myself a fan of the MCU as well as various shounen anime. I like the storyline (at least most of the time) and especially the fights are fun. Lately, however, one thing has struck me more and more. Something that is usually really natural, especially in superhero movies and the like. The power expansion, the level-up of abilities. Part of every good superhero story is how the hero works on himself, has difficulties and comes out stronger than ever at the end of the film or season. Of course, that's called character development and I don't want to get in the way of that. But, and here comes my but, because otherwise I wouldn't bother writing this text, at some point even the most blatant level-up is just boring. Let me elaborate before the few who read this throw rotten vegetables at me. I'll explain with an example. I want you all to think back to the early 2000s for a moment. Back when super-lowrise jeans were actually still considered good-looking; people who liked anime or comics were still freaks(I definitely don't miss that) and Naruto didn't yet have a miserable kid named Boruto and Narutos worst failure was merely not passing the genin exam on his first try. What were those times (seriously, I have no idea. I was a kid at the time)? Those were the days when Kakashi had saved Team 7 and Itachi and Orochimaru were considered the ultimate final bosses. Today, Kakashi, Orochimaru and Itachi are nothing compared to Naruto and Sasuke (even if at least Itachi and Kakashi are just *chefkiss* in character). One could think that the two are the gods and the others were only allowed to watch them being created. A narrative that I actually don't disdain. The student overtakes his master at some point and that's right, that's good. Naruto, however, has taken it to an extreme that is difficult to comprehend. How did the Sharingan go from "I can see chakra flows and I'm not quite as bad as the Hyuugas" to "Bitch, im a godlike creature and you have to kneel before me"? By the end of Naruto Shipuuden, neither Naruto nor Sasuke had much left to develop in any great or impressive direction. Who were they going to face either? They were fighting the ultimate. They were absolutely and without any doubt the strongest, no one could stop them now. An epic ending. If only it had stayed that way. I don't think I'm wrong in saying that Boruto doesn't come across quite as well as his predecessor. However, besides the unlikable protagonist, we also have another problem. What could Boruto possibly have problems with? I mean, we have Naruto and Sasuke, who are so incredibly ridiculously strong. They can take on anyone, right? But let's say they can't. Suppose they don't win every fight after all. Then how strong must their opponent be? How strong then must the hero of the story be to defeat the villain? The answer is obviously that the hero is stronger than those who fought against a goddess. At some point there comes a point where we can no longer take the whole thing seriously. How are we supposed to identify with heroes who could kill, who have even killed God? In many cases, it's not said at all. The power level in Boruto is at such a high level(I don't mean Boruto himself) that the fights are fun to watch(which of course is completely okay if that's what you want and need), but someone who uses their head and thinks about it, it has now taken on dimensions that are unimaginable. The only way I can identify with such people is if I develop a God complex. But honestly, how am I supposed to enjoy a series if I can't see myself anywhere?

Also one of the reasons why I prefer the first Marvel films to the new ones. The heroes have simply become too strong for me. Hawkeye, Black Widow, IronMan and Captain America are all still vulnerable to a certain extent. Yes, even Thor was. Especially in the first part and I don't mean he didn't have his powers. Thor had such an incredibly flawed character back then that put him in such a bad spot that even his powers wouldn't have helped him. HOWEVER, Marvel handled it a thousand times better than Naruto and you could take a leaf out of their book if you think you have to have such over strong guys in your world. Probably the best example is Wanda. She's the strongest Avenger. She's badass. She's strong. She's amazing. And actually to an extent I couldn't keep up. Actually, but luckily I've been implanted with compassion. I can't help but feel connected to her. My God, how many times have I wished to create a reality where all those lost to me live? Despite her massive power, I can understand Wanda, relate to her and just this incredible pain in her, makes her a person I can relate to. In WandaVision she has developed especially internally and that's why we wanted to follow her story (and of course the cool magic stuff).

I'd like to let this comment come to an end now. So godlike powers doesn't mean that a series/movie/whatever is going to be good, exciting or enjoyable. It just means that you have to put down a special level of subtlety so that the characters don't lose their humanness. You need a good understanding to recognise when you've told the end of a story, because otherwise you end up with things like Boruto, and nobody really wants that.

[dayseternal-blog]

Summary: She knit a red scarf for him.  She never gave it to him.  Days turned into months, months turned into too late.

Naruto starts dating. Hinata decides to move on.

A sickness takes root in the heart.

Inspired by SasuSaku fanfic “Medicine” by @grimmjowkurosakidrake

Rating: Mature

Read Chapter 1: Smoke on her tongue

Read Chapter 2: He’s not a ghost

Read Chapter 3: Weeds

Read Chapter 4: Leave himself behind

Read Chapter 5: She’s always (still here)

Chapter 6: Much more than friends

The bustling activity of the hospital fades away as soon as they step outside.  The silence between them magnifies in the bright sunlight.

She feels anxious, a small excitement fluttering about, as she follows him toward the road.  Naruto has always done the unexpected, and with today, she thinks he’s really lived up to that reputation…

She has no idea what’s coming next for them.  

It leaves her hopeful, so, so hopeful, that she doesn’t dare speak.  Out of fear of disturbing this dream, any wrong word could turn all of it into a terrible joke.  

Naruto stops.

She freezes behind him.

He turns around, looks directly at her, and feels his stomach drop straight to his feet.  The question he wanted to ask forgotten.

She’s blushing so much, and it’s adorable.

He stuffs his hands into his jacket pockets, a reactive heat rising to his own face.  The sudden onslaught of nerves makes him feel warm, as if someone just complimented him, and at the same time, he feels incredibly scatterbrained.

He feels like he can do anything or nothing.

Two steps away from remarkable or lost...

“Soo,” he regrettably starts, immediately and unfortunately finding himself weakly at her will, but he manages to continue, “...what are you doing now?”

“Oh, I, I guess I should meet up with my family...at the...cemetery.  It should be about that time.”  She sounds so soft, even to her own ears, she’s not sure if he could hear her.

But he nods.  “Right...right.”  Since the moment Hinata entered his room, he pretty much forgot what today was.  So much happened just this morning, it’s a surprise that it’s still afternoon.

She peers up at him, trying to gauge his expression...muted, thoughtful.  She decides against telling him that she went without him earlier.  She knows the reason now why he didn’t show up, and she doesn’t want to make him feel bad about something that wasn’t in his control.

His disease, his explanation for it, it’s all something she still can’t quite wrap her mind around.  And she’ll dedicate time to mull over it later, but for now…  “Would you like to come with me?”

“With your family?” he asks, a hand swinging up to work the uncertainty from his neck.

“Mhm,” she quietly affirms.  “They won’t mind.  I’m sure they’d love to see you.”

He didn’t get a chance to go earlier, and he really does need to pay a visit.  Maybe without the flowers, he’s seen enough flowers for awhile...Neji would understand...Neji probably doesn’t actually care about the flowers, right?  And if Hinata’s family won’t be bothered by him...  “Sure, yeah, thanks.”

She hums a disagreement at his appreciation.  He doesn’t owe her that, it should be a matter of course that he would be invited.

He smiles at her.

And with the way his gaze lingers on her as they start walking once more, fluffed cotton fills her legs, her stomach, her head, and she feels she may be nothing more than a cloud in the sky.  Any slight breeze from him would send her clear in any direction he pleases.

It’s headying.

It’s frightening.

Though no one gives them much of a passing glance, she wonders, what others must think of them together?  How much distance between them is appropriate?  How much distance was there before today?...Are they now more than friends?

So whenever thrust into an unexpected, socially nerve-wracking situation, her hands find each other, clasping together tightly.

His fingers interlace behind his neck, cradling his head, walking as if lying back in the grass.  It’s always been a tried-and-true way to appear as relaxed as possible, even if he feels far from it.  “You…”  He frowns at the sky.  “...didn’t go this morning, did you?” he finishes quietly.

“Ah...I did.”

She went.  Of course she did.  It’s Hinata, and she’s always been reliable like that.  And he...he didn’t go.  His guilt darkens even the blue sky above.  “Sorry...I wasn’t there.”

“Oh no.  You were in the hospital after all.”

“Yeah but still.  Sorry, Hinata.”

She hums another disagreement quietly, trusting that the nearing view of the cemetery will lighten the air between them with shared purpose.

Murmurings from somber crowds carry over the field.  Families pray around headstones.  Little gifts and flowers decorate every grave across the field.

But despite the numerous people, Naruto sees that no one pays him any mind.  It’s a welcome surprise.

And their presence seems to be a welcome surprise, too, for the rest of her family.

Hanabi’s eyes widen.  “Oh, Nee-sama, we would have waited for you, but none of us knew where you went!”

“I’m sorry, I was helping Sakura-chan at the hospital.  Naruto-kun was there, too, and I invited him with us.”

He takes this as his cue, slightly dipping his head in a bow, awkwardly, to her stoic family.

In the following beat of silence, his eyes draw directly to the only reaction...Hanabi’s expression: brows arched high, a quick glance at her older sister, mouthing a silent ohh.  A look that sends self-conscious warmth to his cheeks.

“Thank you for coming today.”  Hiashi is as serious as usual, but the words sound genuine.

He nods, for lack of anything else to say.  In front of all of her family, some he knows by name, some strangers, all of them in quiet appreciation of the moment, he can’t help feeling a little out of place, like their collective pressure on him just forces him to shut up.  Unlike other families, noisier in their prayers and conversation, the Hyuuga are quiet.  Silently cleaning and visiting graves of others besides Neji who were lost in the war.

Hinata has always been quiet.

And as he expected, this is the quiet family she’s grown up in.

The people who raised her into the person she is today.

Like Neji.

Hinata mentioned to him in passing the things Neji had done for her.  Helping her perfect a move, build stamina, assist her when she strained her eyes.  When he asked why she calls Neji “Nii-san,” she explained that he was more of a brother to her than a cousin.  She said she understands why it might sound silly to others, since during the chuunin exams, in front of everyone, he so vocally demeaned her.  How maybe to others, it might sound silly that even through that difficult part of their relationship, she still saw him as her brother.

He quickly reassured her that “No, it’s not silly.  I get it, believe me.”   He understood.  Perhaps better than anyone else ever could.

She looked at him, eyes, usually so pale, shining warm.  She smiled.  Her head tilted, her bangs sweeping over, the white skin of her forehead peeking through. “Sasuke-san?”

He smiled, too.  “Yeah.”  That asshole of a brother.

She nodded, her gaze drifting back to Neji’s grave, her smile muting to something lonely.

He remembers he wanted to hug her, words failing him when he could imagine what such a loss would feel like.  He can still remember back on that time when he was afraid that he really did lose Sasuke.  He turned his fear into determination to get him back...but Hinata can’t do the same.  And in that moment, he wanted to hold her tight.

But he didn’t hug her, didn’t touch her.  The very ache in his limbs to feel her weight solidly against his body, to squeeze her and never let go, made him freeze up.  He couldn’t gather the courage to do it and he didn’t know why that would be so, when he’s touched her before.

He knows why, now.  Aware of the heaviness in his heart, of how her loss felt like his own loss, of why standing next to her now makes him feel obscure, fuzzy, eclipsed by her.

The immediate thought that follows, each time, and he thinks he’ll never get over it, that it could have been her.  It could have been her, and he always sensed that that loss would have left him utterly, terribly helpless, a million times worse than losing Neji.

“Thank you” will never be enough.

But he prays it over and over.  Thank you.  Thank you, thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you, Neji.

It’s endless, a prayer never meant to find closure or be restricted by time.

Yet the sun begins to burn low, and Hiashi approaches their quiet vigil.  “Naruto.  If you are available, please join us for dinner.  We would be honored to have you.”

Her father’s kind offer is surprising, and it brings her so much happiness to know that his attitude toward Naruto has changed with the rest of the village.  “Yes, Naruto-kun, please join us,” she quietly adds, hoping he can hear her sincerity.

He gapes at their invitation.  No one’s parents ever invited him over.  None of the adults liked him, maybe except Iruka-sensei, but his old teacher claimed once that he’s not much good at cooking, so they always just ate out.

Hinata watches his hesitation, wondering.

Naruto studies the man’s stoic expression.  Does her father really want him for dinner?  He’s probably just asking out of courtesy...  “That’s really kind of you, Hiashi-san, but I need to head to the Tower before it gets too late.”

She tries not to let her disappointment show.  He had been saying since earlier that he wanted to get back to work.

“Sorry, Hinata.”

“Oh, no...”  She supposes she was never any good at hiding her feelings from him.

Hiashi nods.  “You must be busy.  Thank you for joining us today.”

“No, thank you for allowing me to join your family today, Hiashi-san.”

Her family starts heading off down the street, away from the cemetery gates, but she lingers behind.

Everything that Naruto said to her at the hospital was clearly direct, leaving no room for confusion.  So why does she feel unfinished?

“Your family is leaving-” he starts.

“I know.”  She looks up at him, as if his face will clarify her incomplete thoughts.

He takes in her soft gaze and soaks her attention in.  He doesn’t really want to go.  He doesn’t want her to walk away, either.  “Hinata…”

“Naruto-kun?”  

He reaches out uncertainly, his hand folding with hers, his grip light.  He held her hand in the hospital.  But suddenly, out here, it’s just...different.  As if the soft connection is a thin thread, gently tugging at his heart, pulling it toward their entwined fingers.

It’s a familiar warmth.  She never got used to holding Susumu’s hand, probably because she was always comparing it to this.  Naruto’s warmth almost feels natural against her.  She dares to think that it’s meant to be.  It’s where she always wanted to be, after all.

“...Let’s meet up again.”

She nods, her gaze leaving their hands to look into his eyes.

Her earnest expression makes his heart squeeze, his grip on her smaller hand tighten.  “I don’t know when, though.”

She nods again.  That's just how mission schedules are.  “Then, I’ll see you soon?”

“Yeah.”

She lets go of him reluctantly, backing away to rejoin her family, when she remembers.  “Um, Naruto-kun?”

He perks up.  “Yeah?”

“Happy birthday."

He shyly grins.  “Thanks.”  He’s not exactly sure if “happy” is the most accurate way to describe today, but it’s certainly been an unforgettable one.

She smiles a little more, taking in his warm expression, before reluctantly starting to turn around.  She holds his gaze for one last second, then steps away to catch up to her family.

Naruto slowly turns toward the Tower.  Some steps forward, though, has him glancing back, catching her looking back at him, too.  Warmth rises to his face, as pink visibly tinges her cheeks.  He smiles through it, widely, and turns around fully to wave at her.

She reddens even more.  She waves a little, too, shyly, before turning around for good, dashing away.  

She’s so cute.

And he’s so happy.

*

Kakashi puts him right to work.

He’s thankful for it.  It’s such a relief to stretch out his muscles, to move, to get his chakra circulating and working in a healthy, normal way, to finally feel like his body is his own and not a victim to a force larger than himself.

That force being...death.

Missions remind him that he’s young and...not dying.  Work makes him feel like he’s a functioning adult, doing what he’s supposed to do.

He remembers how he felt before.  That month of confusion that led to anger, that spiraled into depression.  A month of...kind of just...getting worse and worse and worse, and it was so completely unlike him.  No energy.  No direction.  No sense of self-worth.  He didn’t recognize himself.

He doesn’t even really know how to reflect on the whole thing.

Thing.  He really doesn’t know what else to make of it.

The descent seemed to happen so slowly, and suddenly he was in the thick of his disease before he realized it.

Then as quick as a snap, he was fine.

...That, too, his cure…

He never gets too far in his reflection on everything he’s been through because he always pictures her soft, pink smile when they parted ways at the cemetery.  She has the softest smile he’s ever seen, and he can’t wait to see her again, he just, can’t, wait.

He needs to verify her feelings again with his own two eyes and ears.  With his hands, too.  He’ll hold her hand again and maybe he can hug her.  Maybe he can hold her.

He wants to hug her.

The thought always leave a vacancy he can feel against his body, like she should already be there in his arms but isn’t.

On a mission like this, even with a fun teammate like Shikamaru, he finds himself thinking about her in a moment of downtime.  Thinking about when they’ll meet again and what it will be like.

It’s real.

His feelings for her are an excitement and distraction quite apart from anything he ever felt for his past girlfriends.

...He pretty much never thought about Rumi while on a mission.

...Rumi…

He tries not to think about her at all.  The memory of her makes him feel like a piece of shit.

He really sucked.  He couldn’t even be a decent person, he really…

Anyway, he should just focus on his mission.

*

He’s been really busy, and she knows she needs to be patient.

But she can’t help but wonder if she’s just his next girl.  She knows that just a week ago, when he told her that he loves her, she thought that he didn’t need to prove anything to her.  She knows that she’s supposed to trust him, after all, Sakura told her so, too.

She knows that she needs to not make any assumptions and just put her faith in him.

But...wasn’t it fast?  Between his breakup with Rumi and his confession to her, wasn’t it...just...fast?  She’s not sure exactly when he broke up with her, but Sakura would have told her something, probably, or the rumors would have traveled before Naruto would have gotten a chance to tell her.  She thinks at the most, maybe a week passed since they broke up?

And, and!  Between Kanae and Rumi!  A little over one month.  She thought that was fast, too…

She thought a lot of things.

She wondered if Rumi, a girl he seemed to hardly know, might be a quick relationship, like Kanae was.  But Naruto and Rumi went out all the time.  They seemed effortlessly happy together, going out on so many dates.  They were seen all over town, eating meals at trendy restaurants, looking...cute...as everyone said.

And Naruto tells her now that dating Rumi was a mistake?

What exactly did he mean by that?

Is it because he was...jealous…...that she was with Susumu?  And he got sick because of that?  He...got...sick?

She even asked Sakura on a day-off what Naruto’s illness was really all about.

Sakura said almost the same things Naruto had said, just with more technical language.

That should be “proof” enough for her, right?

Somehow, it’s not enough.

...She needs to be patient.

*

She’s heading out on a mission with Kiba, Akamaru, and Shino when she notices Naruto with Shikamaru, making their way toward the Hokage Tower.

She doesn’t have time to wonder how to react when he completely stops in his tracks, obviously assesses that she’s leaving the village, and then runs right up to her.  “Hinata!  How long?”

She can sense Kiba’s and Shino’s curiosity.  She wonders, too, at how obvious Naruto is making himself.  But it’s also incredibly reassuring to know that he was hoping to meet up with her.  “It’s just a one-way escort mission, estimated at nearly a week long.”

He nods, frowning, disappointment clutching his gut.  “Alright.”  He looks up to finally acknowledge her teammates.  “Be safe, guys.”

Kiba smirks.  “‘Course, man.”

Shino nods his appreciation.

“I’ll see you guys around when you get back.”  Naruto’s gaze pauses on her, and she senses that he wants her to do more than just nod in agreement.

She tentatively smiles, hoping that he’ll smile back.

He does, a gentle one that she’s seen before from him on rare occasions.

It’s always made her heart flutter.  She bites her lips, then responds, “We’ll be back soon, Naruto-kun.”

“‘Kay.”  He takes a step back, knowing that he’s holding her team up from leaving.

She reluctantly turns around, waving goodbye as he waves a bit, too.

Kiba and Shino have the strangest look on their faces, like they’re thinking about a lot of things.

They don’t divulge their thoughts to her, but she knows their worry.

It’s her own concern, too, after all.

Be careful.  But I can trust myself, too.  And I can trust him...and be careful.

She wants to hurry back home, but as soon as they were ready to leave the Land of Water, a typhoon hit.  All ships are docked until the typhoon passes and clears the surrounding waters.

So as rain lashes at the windows, they stay holed up in their accommodations, drinking tea and waiting out the storm.

Shino’s been unusually quiet.

She herself has had her own troubles, but both her teammates seem to already know that it’s regarding a certain old classmate of theirs (nothing new).  However with Shino, who so rarely seems to have a problem he doesn’t already know how to deal with, she’s been wondering what could possibly be bothering him.  So she asks directly, “What’s on your mind, Shino-kun?”

“Yeah, buddy, what’s on your mind?”  Kiba and Akamaru jump onto a bed to listen in.

Shino adjusts his sunglasses.  He takes a breath.  “I have a decision to make.”  He looks at them and sees that they’re listening.  “I’m thinking of applying for the education program.”

Kiba’s eyes widen.  “To teach at the Academy?  That’s awesome!”

“...The application deadline is in two months.”

In two months?...  “Good luck, Shino-kun.  I know you’ll make a great teacher!”

“You’ll make a fantastic teacher!  They’ll call you ‘Shino-sensei!’ like that,” Kiba cheers.

Shino looks between them, a tiny, amused smile on.  “But I am hesitant.  The reason is it would mean that I would not be able to go on regular missions with both of you anymore.”

Hinata and Kiba exchange looks, knowing that they both had already thought of that.

Kiba moves beside him, swinging an arm around Shino.  “Listen, you’ll make the greatest teacher, even better than Iruka-sensei!  Of course I’ll miss working with you, but, this is a great opportunity.  And Hinata and I would never want to hold you back.”

Hinata is thankful for Kiba’s encouraging tones.  It’s putting her in the right mindset, too.  “Kiba-kun is right.  We would never want to keep you from reaching for your goals.  Do your best!  We’ll be cheering for you all the way!”

“Thank you.  I’ll miss both of you,” Shino says.

She shakes her head.  “We’ll never be far away.”

“We’ll come and be guest instructors!” Kiba offers.

“Yes!” Hinata agrees.  “We’ll always be your team.”

“Thank you.”  His voice is heavy, emotional.

They smile together, and she feels tears coming on, but she doesn’t let them fall.  She supposes they all knew this would eventually happen.  The possibility of disbandment as they entered adulthood only increases with new responsibilities, new windows of opportunity, and challenges presented.

She just didn’t know it would happen so soon.

Sometimes she feels like it was only yesterday when she was selected for Kurenai’s Team 8.  Sometimes it feels like a forever ago when the four of them were tasked with finding Madam Shijimi’s cat.

For the entire way home, they reminisce on their trainings and missions together and make promises to continue meeting up whenever they can.

It’s bittersweet.

To realize, not for the first time, how wonderful her team is.  To hold so much excitement for Shino’s next stage in life.  To hear Kiba’s plans for the future.  To wonder about her own.

Maybe become a jounin sensei?

Maybe eventually work at the Academy, too?

To see that…

So much time has passed.  She really has grown.

And she still has so much of life ahead of her.  There’s no rush at all.

*

It’s a stroke of luck to see her coming out of the Hokage Tower.  She’s smiling, looking well.  She bends over to pet Akamaru.

She straightens and looks toward him, despite the distance.

So she knew that I was-- He bites down on that memory and runs forward to meet them.  “You’re finally back!”

“We got held up in the Land of Water due to a typhoon,” Kiba answers.

“Good thing you guys didn’t get caught in it.”  He nods at Kiba briefly before turning his attention back to Hinata.  “How was the mission?”

She almost wants to shrink away from his obvious, directed attention.  It’s almost too strong.  But no, she wants this.  She really wants this.  “It went well.  There was one scuffle along the way, but they weren’t a problem for us.”

“Yeah, I bet you beat them up easily.”

She blushes at his confidence in her.  It’s almost like from before...It reminds her of those times before he started dating.

Shino clears his throat.  “Are you hungry, Naruto?  The reason is, we’re going out to get lunch together.”

“Oh yeah?”  He was planning on trying to get Hinata alone, but this is almost just as good.  “Can I join?”

“No!  No, no.”  Kiba leans forward, his voice cutting Shino off.  “We’re doing Team bonding, and if you come along, you’ll just ignore us and try to hog all of Hinata’s attention!”

Naruto frowns.  Yeah, he probably would’ve but…  “The three of you were together for the past week!  More than a week!  Isn’t that enough bonding time?” he protests.  “Plus, Shino was about to invite me!”  He looks at the quiet guy for affirmation.

But Shino suddenly looks as silent as a rock.

Naruto’s jaw drops in disbelief and betrayal.  “Shino!”

“The reason is that Kiba is right.”

He rolls his eyes and looks at Hinata.  “Hinata?  You’re just going to let these guys treat me like this?”

She’s still absolutely red from Kiba’s sudden and shameless words.  It’s the first time he’s verbally acknowledged Naruto’s attentions toward her in almost a year, out of consideration for her feelings.  “Oh, I would like to, Naruto-kun, but…”  She looks at Shino.  “We’re not going to be Team 8, officially, for much longer.  Shino-kun is going into education.”

Naruto looks at the usually stoic bug boy.  This guy?  With kids?  A sensei?  “What?!  No way!  Shino?!”

“He’s going to be a wonderful teacher,” Hinata states solidly, not leaving any room for him to not believe her any further.

He nods, getting used to the idea.  Certainly unexpected, but has Shino ever been anything other than surprising?  “That’s really awesome.”  And he means it.

“Thank you, Naruto.”  Shino looks like maybe he’s smiling.

And so he takes a step back from them, now completely understanding what’s going on.  What wouldn’t he do to have just one more meal with his team, as if time never happened?  “Hinata.”

“Yes?”

“Tonight?  Dinner?”

She tries not to feel Kiba and Shino’s stares boring into her as she gives a quiet hum of affirmation.

“I’ll see you at your place around 6, then.”

“Okay.”  She tries not to look as shy as she feels because Naruto doesn’t seem shy at all.  And she needs to do her best to keep up with him.

“Great!  Have a good lunch then, guys.”  He waves his goodbye and heads off.

And then it strikes her.

She’s having a date with Naruto.

She’s really having an actual date with her longtime love.

He simply asked her out like no big deal, like this was the idea all along, and that the two of them are really, actually--

“So the two of you are a thing?” Kiba bluntly asks.

She turns to look at him, blinking out her disbelief.  “I think so.”

Kiba seems to hold back a frown.  “What do you mean, you ‘think so’?”

“I mean, he…”  Self-consciousness floods her, but Kiba and Shino are both waiting expectantly for her explanation.  So she quietly continues, “...said he loves me.”

Kiba and Shino exchange looks, nodding.

“Well, that’s what we’ve thought for a long time,” Kiba states before leading them away from the Tower.

Hinata stares at them, finding their simple acceptance incredible.  She really wasn’t the only one who felt there was something between them.  But she can’t help needing that affirmation even more.  It’s still something she can’t wrap her mind around.  “You both thought that?”

“Yes, the reason is that Naruto has always paid more attention to you than any of us.”

She looks away, shyness warming her face.  So it wasn’t her imagination?  “...but…”  Self-doubt rears up, making her feel suddenly slightly nauseous. “He dated others.”

“Oh yeah, Hinata,” Kiba starts, the roll of his eyes practically audible, “You could’ve…”  His hands turn up in a shrug.  “I dunno...tried to save his life a couple of times.  Hold his hand in front of the enemy and the entire Shinobi Alliance.  Eat out with him all by yourselves.”  He gives her a pointed look.  “And he wouldn’t have the faintest idea that any of it was romantic.  Hm.  I wonder why...maybe because he’s an idiot?”

She stares at him, processing his sarcasm, and Shino lets out the quietest cough of a laugh.  She pouts at both of them for making fun of Naruto, but Shino clears his throat, obviously ready to launch into a long explanation.

And she really does want to hear it.  Because, if anything, she has always interpreted Kiba’s list to mean that Naruto simply never returned her feelings.

“The reason is Naruto does what feels right, and if the outcome is fine, he will continue to move forward without reflection.  Unless you force him to stop by questioning his actions, he will articulate neither his reasoning nor his purpose outside of the obvious goals, and he will not consider or care about how others might perceive him, so long as he was able to manipulate the situation to meet his ends.  The reason is--”

“Naruto’s a gigantic idiot,” Kiba interrupts.

“--because Naruto thinks he has nothing to lose,” Shino continues, unfazed.  “Therefore he acts accordingly, always behaving as rashly as possible, not realizing that anyone might value him as much as he values others.”

“Or that,” Kiba tags on in agreement.

“The reason for that is,” Shino says with a sense of finality, “not very many people have stopped him to ask for his opinion.”

“What?  He’s always airing his opinions.”

Hinata shakes her head at Kiba’s denial.  “No, I...I think I understand.”

“Did you ever ask him why he held your hand in the war?”

Her eyes widen at Shino’s question.  Of course she hadn’t!  How could she ever ask a question like that?!

“Did you ever ask him what he thought of your self-sacrifice?”

“No!” she defends.  “That’s embarrassing, I couldn’t have asked something like that!  And...and I didn’t do any of that expecting anything from him.”

Even with his dark sunglasses on, she can see Shino’s measured look.

Kiba lets out a big sigh.  “Hinata...those exes were pushier than you.  And, I don’t mean this in a bad way or anything, but, well, it’s not like, uhh, well, I mean, Naruto’s an idiot, so, anyway, I get what Shino’s saying, y’know, Shino’s right, like, Naruto didn’t know you value him.”

She blinks at him, feeling inexplicably hurt, recognizing that they’re putting some amount, however small, of blame on her.  “But...I didn’t know he values...me…”

They pause outside of Yakiniku Q.

“And that’s why we didn’t say anything about this when you were dating Susumu!  He’s ‘pushier’ than Naruto!  You knew for sure that he at least valued you, it was obvious to you, and we thought it was good for you!  Both you and Naruto are the same!”  Kiba’s voice had risen enough that other pedestrians glance their way.

But she doesn’t take much notice of them.  Their words are putting all of her decisions, all of her choices to back away, to give Naruto space, to listen instead of probe, to watch instead of interrupt, into a different perspective.  She did that because she respected his decisions.  So are they saying it was wrong of her?  “I...didn’t know…”

“Yeah.  We know.  ‘S not your fault, Hinata, Naruto’s an idiot after all.”  Kiba leads them into the restaurant, and the hostess takes them to their table.

When they’re seated, Kiba continues, “And anyway, the two of you are together now, so it doesn’t really matter anymore.”

She tilts her head, wondering if it’s true that it doesn’t “really matter”...

“I’m happy for you, Hinata.”  Shino smiles at her.

She gratefully returns his smile.

“Yeah, we’ve all been waiting for this,” Kiba jokes.  “Hinata, you have no idea, but this has been a long time coming between the two of you.  Good luck with him.”

“Thank you,” she murmurs.  Maybe Kiba’s right.  Maybe it doesn’t really matter what happened before, who they dated, and what they thought the other was thinking.  Because the truth is that...they love each other?

It’s a truth she’ll be able to experience later, and she’s left breathless in anticipation of the unknown.  Logically, she shouldn’t feel nervous because she knows him so much better than she ever knew Susumu...but still…

Kiba snaps his fingers in her face.  “Hey, focus on us.”

Her expression pulls down in an embarrassed frown.  “I’m sorry.  I’m just…”  She shakes her head.

Shino nods.  “You’re just happy.”

She ponders that for a second.  She was thinking, more nervous or worried, but…  She agrees.  “I am.  But not just because of Naruto-kun.  I’m so happy that I have you two as my teammates.”

Hinata knows that they feel the same way as her by their surprised yet pleased smiles.  They were and are lucky to have each other.  She couldn’t have asked for a better team.

Kiba huffs out a breath.  “Before I start crying, let’s order some food.”

“Agreed,” Shino states, unfolding the menu.

She laughs, so, so, so appreciative.

No matter what happens to them in their futures, she’ll always have Team 8.

*

He restlessly waits outside, arriving much earlier than acceptable.

He’s been waiting for this for almost exactly two weeks.  And he’s readier than he’s ever been for a date.

Because he knows exactly what to do to make her happy.  He has a lot of money in his wallet.  He’ll compliment her when she comes out.  He’ll hold the door to let her in first, he’ll pay, and he’ll walk her home.  And at the end of it all, maybe he’ll get to hug her, hold her, like he’s been yearning for, but only if she seems open to it.

Only if she wants to.

He won’t rush this.

He’ll make sure she understands how serious he is.

Because despite the break-ups, he’s learned.  And he’s not going to mess this up with Hinata.   He completely understands what he’s doing with her and what this means for them, and, he’s not just doing this for fun, or because she asked him to, or to have a girl flatter his ego.

He’s doing this because...

He hears quiet footsteps coming from beyond the wall.

The gate pulls open.

And she steps out with a tentative expression that lights up into the shyest, cutest smile he’s only ever seen on her.

He takes a deep breath, grinning, unable to contain his excitement.

“I’m sorry to make you wait.”

“Oh no,” he dismisses.  “I got here too early.  I hope I didn’t rush you.”

She shakes her head.  The truth is, she had gotten ready really early, too.  It was a surprise to see him outside when she thought she was just being too impatient.

He feels giddy, like they have so much to do, but he knows now that dates need to be taken at the girl’s pace.  That, in general, his ideas aren’t the most reliable, and that he should just let the girl pick.  He tries his best to calm all of the adrenaline dancing in his veins.  “Anywhere you want to go?”

She blinks at him.  “Oh.  Um…”  She hadn’t thought about it at all.  She had assumed that since Naruto asked her to dinner, he had someplace in mind?  Like Ichiraku?...  “I don’t really know...”

“Anywhere is fine, Hinata!” he encourages.  “Don’t worry about me, I’m up for anything.”

She bites her lips, still surprised, not ready to think of a good place for their first date.  “Um…”

He watches her smile slip into a look of discomfort.  And he realizes just as quickly...he fucking forgot.  In his excitement, he forgot to compliment her.  Kanae always wanted to see if he noticed her efforts.  Is it too late to say something?...  He looks her over to see if he needs to comment on her fashion choice.  She’s wearing her comfy-looking jacket, appropriate for a chilly night.  He remembers what she wore with her old boyfriend...how she looked...different...yet tonight, she looks like she normally does.  Jealousy pinches his gut, but he forces that down.  It doesn’t matter.  It’s not like he dressed any differently.  

Just in case, he should say something, especially if that’s why she’s being so hesitant.  And, anyway, it’s not a lie, either.  No matter what she’s wearing, no matter if she’s clean or dirty from a mission, no matter if her hair is up or down, it makes no difference to him.  “Hinata, you’re beautiful.”

She pulls out of her worries at the compliment.

His gaze is focused on her so intently.

Warmth seizes her face faster than anything else.  How could he say something like that to her so casually without warning?  Isn’t that too much?  She wasn’t even paying attention!  Embarrassment has her shaking her head, shrinking back a step, refusing to look him in the eyes again.

Her reaction isn’t what he expected.  Instead of a coy, pleased expression, she looks like she honestly doesn’t believe him!  “You are beautiful, Hinata.”  Maybe she doesn’t believe him because she didn’t dress up?  “You’re always beautiful.”

She gapes at him.  Naruto has never lied to her.  She has no reason to not believe that he actually feels that way.  She squeezes herself together, trying to gather her wits about her.  It’s hardly two minutes into their first date, and she’s already falling apart like she can’t handle him.  Naruto deserves better from her.

She takes a deep breath and forces herself to really face him.  Kiba told her that Naruto never knew how much she values him.  And right now seems to be the time to start making amends.  She steadies her gaze on his openly warm expression and finds the sparkling blue of his eyes.  “Naruto-kun, you’re the one who’s beautiful.”

He squints at her.  “What?” he can’t help bluntly asking, a weird grimace cracking open.

“I mean it,” she quietly asserts, trying desperately to keep her blush at bay.

He shakes his head and lets out an awkward laugh.  “Don’t joke like that with me, Hinata, that’s not nice...so anyway, is there anywhere you want to go?”

She blinks, jarred by how quickly he dismissed her heartfelt confession.  “I...I guess...Ramen Ichiraku would be nice.”

His brows furrow.  Why would she want to go there?  Is she just saying that because she knows it’s his favorite?  Why won’t she tell him where she wants to go?

She doesn’t trust him enough?

She didn’t like that he called her beautiful, and then she turned it into a joke, too…  Excitement begins to fade into worry.  Why…  “Hinata...we eat there all the time, it’s not special to you.  You don’t have to choose that for me,” he awkwardly mumbles out.

She tilts her head and frowns, realizing the way she worded her request.  “I do want to go to Ramen Ichiraku,” she repeats, simply and clearly.  She knows for certain that they’ll both like it.

“Uh, okay,” he relents.  And then unwilling to risk making more mistakes, he starts leading them away from the compound.

They walk together, and he tries to find words for conversation, but suddenly, he doesn’t know what to say.  He’s already somehow messed up because of course he would mess up.  So he shoves his hands in his pockets and keeps his focus on the road.

After a few streets of unusually discomforting silence from him, she can only conclude that he’s bothered.  She gathers her confidence together.  “Naruto-kun?  Do you not want to go to Ichiraku?”  Maybe he actually wanted someplace fancier?  Maybe his tastes have changed?

He shrugs.  “You know I always want to go there,” he admits.  “I just don’t want us to be going there if you don’t actually want to go.”

She...she was clear wasn’t she?  She stated very clearly that she wants to go, didn’t she?  “I want to go, Naruto-kun.  I like their ramen a lot-”  She recalls his earlier hesitation.  “-And I think Ramen Ichiraku is special.”  She smiles at him.  “It’s your favorite.  That makes it a special place to me, too.”

He processes her explanation, the reasoning almost too simple to accept.  “So...I’m not, like, forcing you or anything, right?”

She smiles wider, unsure of where he’s getting the silly idea that he might be forcing her.  “Of course not.  If I didn’t want to go, I wouldn’t have chosen them.”

She’s saying that like it should’ve been obvious to him…  It should’ve been.  He forgot that Hinata’s always been easily uncomplicated with him.

“We’ve eaten there together before, like you said, Naruto-kun.  And we’ve always had a good time there, right?”

He nods, recalling the same memories that she’s referring to.  It’s sudden, a soothing balm over his nerves.  Those times back then...she enjoyed them, too.

“It’s a good place,” she summarizes happily.  “It’s a special place for me.”

Not that he wasn’t certain before, but he’s even more, completely, totally sure.

He really wants this to go well.  Not just nicely, either.  He wants Hinata to have the perfect date with him.

But he has no idea now how he’s supposed to make that happen.  The date didn’t start off the way he thought it would.  It’s not going the way he thought it would.

Hinata’s not acting the way he thought she would…

Instead, she’s acting the way she’s always been.

Has it been so long since he hung out with her?  That he forgot how easy it is to just be with her...no need for plans or strategies...that whatever he thought, well, Hinata makes it so much better than that?  “You’re really amazing,” he sighs out.

She shakes her head, believing him to be exaggerating over nothing.  “Everyone knows how much you love their ramen, Naruto-kun.”  She peeks up at his gaze, glad to see that he seems slightly more relaxed than earlier.

The storefront comes into view.

“I really did expect that we would be going here tonight,” she continues.  “My heart’s been prepared, I was thinking about this all afternoon,” she laughs, breezing over the fact that it wasn’t really Ichiraku, but spending time with Naruto, that was on her mind.

He perks up at her giggle.  “My heart never even needs to get prepared, I could walk here in my sleep!”

She nods, knowing full well that he probably already has.  “Have you come in the middle of the night before?”

He raises his brows, grinning a What do you think?, and she laughs as they take seats at the counter of the familiar establishment.  “Hinata, I’ve come here at every single hour, if not every single minute, on the clock.”

She considers that his obsession sounds a little worrisome, but it’s also just so him.  “That’s impressive!”

“Yeah, it is,” he brags, proud of being a round-the-clock customer.

Ayame comes over to them, cheerily smiling.  “Naruto, Hinata, welcome!”

“Ayame-neechan, long time no see!”

“It has been a long time, hasn’t it?  Now, what shall I get for you two?”

“I’ll get the large miso ramen with extra char siu.”

“I would like the same thing, please.”

His eyes widen, and he turns to stare at her.

“Got it!  Please wait for just a moment,” Ayame promises before hurrying off.

Hinata notices his shock, understands that it probably has to do with her order, but she still asks, “Ah, yes?”

He clutches his jacket over his heart, incredibly thankful to be here with her.  “You’re really amazing,” he reiterates, not knowing how else to articulate himself.

She hesitantly explains, “I had all afternoon to think about what I’d want.”

He nods, recalling the last time they ate here together, just the two of them.  “I almost forgot how much you can eat.”

She blushes, knowing it’s not exactly the most ladylike thing, but to the utmost of effort, they came all this way here, she might as well take the opportunity to eat.  “I-I thought it would be better if I just get the large serving this time instead of smaller servings.”

“Yeah, Hinata, I love it,” he bluntly states.  Then repeats as realization hits him, “I love it.”

Shyness freezes over her, and she timidly looks up at him.  She can remember the last time they came...

He expressed enthusiasm about her order for another serving, saying, “Wow, you’re eating a lot, Hinata!”

And she fumbled out in excuse, “I guess I’m just hungry…”  She actually just wanted to extend their time together.

He smiled widely, bright-eyed, excited, and eagerly ordered more for himself, too.

But this time, he carries that serious expression from earlier and leans down, ducking his head to be eye-level with her.  “Hinata, I love you.”

She can see vulnerability there, a precious, precious balance of uncertainty and trust.  Bare and unaffected.  He really means it.  Even at such a sudden moment as this, or maybe because it’s in such an inconsequential, unplanned moment, she knows he means it.  He really wants her to know it.  Emotion wells up, leaving no room for air, she can’t breathe, she can’t speak.

He straightens, starting to wonder at her silence, beginning to notice that he was expecting a response.

What he was expecting...the lack of anything empties him.  “So uh Shino wants to become a teacher?”

She blinks at the sudden topic.  She can’t let this happen again.  Kiba was right.  She hesitantly pulls on the sleeve of his jacket and draws herself closer.

Otherwise he won’t be able to hear her over the hammering in her heart.

She averts her eyes, feels the blush spreading over her face, and whispers, “I love you.”  She squeezes her eyes shut for a second and lets an easing breath out.

This somehow felt so much harder than her confession two weeks ago at his bedside, but the accompanying fluttering warmth here is much, much nicer.

She settles back in her seat.  Her gaze flicks up to his.

He smiles shyly, his pulse resetting double the pace as color floods his being.

He didn’t quite realize it, he had no idea how wonderful it would feel to hear those words returned to him.

He just carelessly tossed a part of himself out to her, expecting something, not knowing he expected those words, that exact piece of her given in exchange.

And it glows in him.

She can see it, just as much as she can feel the same blossoming within her.  She thinks that if only he could see himself, he would see how beautiful he really is.  She realizes she can’t let him get away without knowing she was being honest.  If she needs to work on letting him know how much she values him, she’s the one who needs to prove herself to him, not the other way around...  “Naruto-kun,” she whispers.  She can feel herself growing even warmer.  “I really do think you’re beautiful.”

Sudden self-consciousness grips him, and he focuses on her.

But she doesn’t let his puzzled expression deter her, not this time.  “Your smile is beautiful.  Your determination is beautiful.”  She looks away, down at the counter, as her bashfulness fights against boldness.  “Your laugh, and your bravery, and how you treat everyone...I think everything about you is beautiful.”

She timidly looks up to see his reaction, but he’s looking away now.  A hand works obvious discomfort from the back of his neck.

It reminds him of Rumi’s blind admiration.  Hinata doesn’t set him up on a pedestal, too, does she?  She’s always been kind to him, built him up in ways that others haven’t, but still...

“You are,” she whispers again, wondering now if she was too forward.

Certainly she thinks so...she actually wasn’t joking earlier...but he knows better about himself.  He shines a quick smile at her.  “Thanks.”

She can tell he’s deflecting.  After all the times she’s done that with Susumu, of course she would know.  She tries to think of a way to respond when a cry of “Oh, isn’t that Naruto-senpai!” and hushed murmurings behind them catch her attention.

“I haven’t seen him in so long!”

“Should we go over and talk to him?”

“It looks like he’s with someone, though?”

“That’s not Rumi.”

“Didn’t they break up?”

“I think so--”

She shuts them out, second-guessing how “hushed” they’re actually trying to be.  They want him to notice, don’t they...

He hears them, and Hinata’s uncertain look doesn’t quell his worries.  Bringing up Rumi?  Here?  Now?  The last person he wants Hinata to think about?  “Sorry,” he mumbles out.

“Oh, no,” she denies.  She should’ve expected this.  Like they said, she’s not Rumi…someone who successfully made her status very public in a short amount of time...approved by the general crowd for her cute and bubbly demeanor...

The girls continue talking, his anxiety climbing as their voices get louder with their approach.  He makes to stand.  “Maybe I should...” deal with them?

Hinata’s eyes dart to him, silently wishing that he wouldn’t pay them any attention.

It strikes him through.  “I’m not leaving!  Hinata, I just don’t want them to bother us!”

She nods, biting her lips, surprised that he overreacted.  “I understand.”

He hesitates, looking closely at her.  “I’ll be right back, I promise.”

Once he catches the renewed faith in her eyes, he smiles, sealing his word.  He hurries out past the curtain, to the group of girls’ great excitement, and he recognizes them...

“Good evening, Naruto-senpai~”  Ahh, he should know her name.

“Are you busy?”  That girl..he’s supposed to know her name, too.

The four gather around him, and he can’t quite establish any personal space.  “Yeah, I’m busy right now.” They frown and sigh, then try to invite him out with them anyway.

In the past, he’s given in, having nowhere better to go necessarily.  That’s not close to the case now.  “I’m sorry, I’m on an important date.”  He angles his body back toward Hinata.

They immediately quiet as their eyes dart to the girl, amongst each other, back up to him with much less giddiness in their gazes.

“I see, so sorry to interrupt!” one apologizes, and he thinks that’s pretty nice of her.

“We just wanted to say hi,” another says.

He smiles and nods, tries to steadily back away from them.  “Good seeing you guys!”  He gives a wave, hopefully finalizing the end of this exchange.

As soon as he sees them nod, hears them mumble out goodbyes and next times?, he blasts an appreciative grin and completely turns around.

Slipping into the seat next to Hinata has the same sense of completing a mission.  He did it, and hopefully that didn’t take too long.  He studies her...she’s not looking at him.

“I’m sorry...” she murmurs apologetically.  

Sorry?

“Maybe you would’ve liked to-”

“No!” he interrupts, catching on almost too late.  “I’m sorry!  I’m sorry for all of that, for making you wait.”

She shakes her head firmly.  “No, you were really fast, but you could’ve talked to them for longer if you liked.”

It seems he also forgot how stubborn she is.  “...I didn’t want to talk to them.  I just want to talk to you.”

Her cheeks pinken.  She frowns, brows furrowing.  

“This, our date, it’s really important to me, okay?”

She turns even redder and nods.  “This is important to me, too.”

He smiles, satisfied.  “So tell me about Shino!  He really wants to be a teacher?  What made him start thinking about that?”

She sees how much he’s trying to reassure her, and how easily he does it, too, never holding back, even in a moment like this.  He leaves no room for her to doubt herself.

So she’ll stop thinking about other girls.  She’ll focus only on him.  “Have you seen Shino-kun with Mirai-chan?”

“Your sensei’s baby?  Mmm...no, I don’t think so...”  

“He’s really, really good with her, and he’s found that he likes kids a lot.  Shino-kun's always been very empathetic, very understanding, so I think he relates to them easily.”  She goes on to tell him about Shino’s expectations for the education course, and Naruto tells her about the times he’s visited Iruka’s class to assist or demonstrate.  The kids he’s met and their terrible antics.

The conversation is easy, interesting, and Hinata marvels at how none of it feels forced.

She doesn’t have to count his good points.

She doesn’t have to add up everything she admires about him.

It’s so easy to talk with him, it’s so, so cute to see him joyfully eat his ramen, and it’s just so incredible to smile at him and receive his smiles in return.

His soft gaze is indescribably warm.  Happy.  The way she’s looked at him for so long…

To feel that from him, directed at her, it’s almost too much…

But she wants this.  She wants all of it.  To feel so free to look at him.  To let her affection for him show in her gaze.  To not have to put a cap on her love, bottle it up inside and hope none of it spills.

“Be careful,” she had told herself.  But how?  How can she possibly be careful?  How can she possibly withhold all the love she’s been hurting to give him for so long?

She doesn’t want the night to end.

But eventually, they’re walking side-by-side back to her place, slowly, slowly, until there’s no more distance left to keep.

She faces him and smiles with as much appreciation as she can show.  “Thank you for walking me home.”

“Yeah, no problem.”  He has no idea how the night ended so quickly when all they did was eat.  Usually at this time, rather than only just finishing dinner, he’d be seeing Rumi off after all of the fooling around at his place--  Simply spending time with Hinata is even better than any of that perverted stuff.  “Did you have fun tonight?”

She nods and hums her affirmation.  “I did.  Thank you for everything.”

His hands ache in his jacket pockets to hold her, but he’s going to be considerate even if it kills him.

“Did you have fun, Naruto-kun?”

He nods.  “Yeah, I can’t believe how fast the time passed.  It already got so late.”

“Mhm.”  The fluttering feeling she’s felt all night continues unrelenting.  “I didn’t notice how late it got, either.”  Only now does the dark silence of the late night seem to close around them.  Only the chilling wind creates a stir, but she failed to notice that, too.

He studies her cute, shy smile, can hardly believe that she enjoyed herself as much as he did.  “Can we meet up again soon?”

“I’d really like that.”

“I don’t have a mission tomorrow.”

“Me, neither.”

“Then, tomorrow?  I can come by around 11?”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

They both realize that the night is over.  The only thing she has left to do is turn around and head inside.

But she wonders if that’s not good enough.

She knows this was never good enough for Susumu.  And is this good enough, perfect enough, for herself?

She casts her eyes down, unwilling to let him see the wavering of her nerves.

She takes two steps, closing the space between them, and mercifully, he doesn’t back away.  Carefully, she leans into him a bit, his body warmth flushing her entire system hot.

He only just gets his hands out of his pockets to touch when she backs up, his hands left mid-air.

She’s staring at him with the funniest, shyest expression he’s ever seen.  “Good night, Naruto-kun.  Thank you for tonight.”

But he’s still trying to process the one-second hug.  “That’s not fair,” he accuses before his brain can catch up with his mouth.

“Hm?”

“You-”  He bites his lip, remembering that he wasn’t supposed to rush her.  But what’s he supposed to do with this?  How could she do something so cute and innocent?

...How innocent is she?

And with that wondering burning a small pit of jealousy in his gut, he turns his hands, showing her how she left him hanging.  “...Will you let me?”

She fidgets but nods, not making eye contact.  She takes one step forward, and that warmth surrounds her, his hands at her back, gentle.  She thinks she’s never felt anything nicer, warmer, so intimate.

To be so close to the one she loves, it’s different.

To touch the person she’s longed to touch, it’s unreal, a waking dream.  The slight rise and fall of his chest as he breathes--isn’t that alarmingly amazing?  She’s too happy.  This is what she’s wanted for so long, what she didn’t want to share with anyone else.  How could she have dared to force herself to touch another man?...  Well, she didn’t know this would ever happen.  “Naruto-kun…”

“Hinata?”

“I love you.”

He squeezes her a little closer, the intimacy of her words and body turning his face hot.  Three times now, "I love you", and each time feels sweeter than the last.  “I love you, too, really.”

“Mm.”  It’s impossible for her to distrust his word.  She tightens her grip, savoring him for one more second, breathing in his warmth, before letting go and stepping back.

She can barely look at him for how happy she is, but he’s smiling with a softness that’s as smushed up as her feelings.

He’s so beautiful.

“Good night, Naruto-kun,” she manages to breathe out.

“Good night, Hinata.”  He watches her step away, give him a final, gorgeous smile, and then disappear behind the gate.

And suddenly, he’s left alone with only his heartbeat thudding out the slipping memory of her form.

It was too perfect.

He somehow messed up at the beginning, and then those girls interrupted the start of their dinner, but everything after, everything, just being with her, and then holding her, it was all perfect.

She was perfect.

When he was with Rumi, every moment was new and strange, and so he thought that’s how it must be.

Yet with Hinata?  Familiar.  Warm.  Easy.

So comforting.

The whole night was dazzlingly wonderful.  He could sprint the rest of the way home with how great he feels, give outlet to the elation jumping beneath his skin, and exclaim his delight to the stars in rushing breaths.

But he walks, choosing instead to wallow in his happiness and count his blessings quietly.  The last thing he wants to do is tempt fate to twist up his fortunes and slide him backwards like he so rightly deserves.

One wrong move, and the universe might find him unworthy of its favor.

So he makes sure to arrive on-time again the next day.

When she steps out to meet him, she looks completely different, something about her demeanor, something about her smile.  It’s not the clothing or her hair.  Something softer?  She’s not quite the daring warrior who stood at his side in the war, who protected him in battle, who’s sealed his tenketsu in spars or had dirt streaking her arms and legs after a mission.  She’s not guarded at all.

She’s just...

This Hinata is somehow...

Still, warm familiarity flutters and warms him all over.  It’s still Hinata, but this Hinata is only for him.  He just wants to protect this.  Rather than selfish, this feeling is purer than a kiss from the sun on a breezy day.

He used to feel a kind of self-gratification, a proud slickness that settled in his gut, when he walked around with Rumi.  Each date felt like an accomplishment, each step closer to her an affirmation of his growth.

The comparison is a sickening damper on his mood, and he doesn’t dwell on his ex as they head onto the shopping arcade.  “Have you tried that new game center people have been talking about?” he asks.

She shakes her head.  She doesn’t mention that she assumed it was entertainment for kids, but they are not too old, yet, right?  She can see some young teenagers crowding around machines inside the center.  “Have you?”

“No…”

“It looks fun,” she observes aloud, noting machines filled with plush toys, screens with small dancing visuals, and the obvious tension stringing groups of friends to stay glued to their games.

He grins.  “Shall we go in?”

And she nods, pleased that she read his hidden curiosity correctly.

They investigate one of the machines that advertises its mission simulation in neon lettering.  A pixelated little man jumps around the screen, dodging what they imagine must be flying kunai and leaping across trees.  Naruto tentatively hits a round button and the screen changes, names of people scrolling upwards.  He taps a different round button and the screen shifts to instructions.

“How do we play this thing?”  He jabs at a few more buttons randomly, and the words Insert Coins flash at the top.

“Um…”  Hinata looks down at the rest of the machine.  “Over there.”

They peer at the slot.

“Okay…”  Naruto opens his wallet and slips coins in until the machine makes a startling amount of music.  He stands up straight, suddenly realizing he has no idea how the game works.  He hits a button, and the man jumps.

“Maybe these buttons make you move forward,” Hinata guesses.

He presses it and the man starts running.

“Oh, jump!” Hinata exclaims as a gap in the trees appears.

He hits the button to jump, and the man leaps up…

And falls in the hole.

Game Over flashes obnoxiously red on the screen.

They stare at it for a second, dumbfounded.

“What?!” Naruto argues.  “Why did he jump in the hole?!  Let’s try again.”

“Yes, try again,” Hinata encourages.

On a second try, he gets the timing of the trees, but only makes it to the flying kunai.  “Whaaat!” he groans.  He fishes out more coins and feeds them into the machine.  “You wanna try this?  Maybe you’ll be better than me,” he laughs.

“I think I know what to do.”  She takes over and manages to get past the obstacles.

Naruto cheers her on throughout her play, then goes silent when she comes up against another little figure.  He watches her throw shuriken at it, and eventually, the figure disappears.  In its place poofs out a scroll, which her character seems to collect.

The game alerts them that she made it to level 2, where she promptly gets knocked out by a swinging log.

“Ah.”  She watches the screen mock her in giant lettering and hears the intense music fizzle out.  “Oh well,” she sighs.

“You made it to the next level!” he congratulates her.  “Do you want to try again?”

She considers it for a second.  She gets the feeling that she could be really good at this game if she kept playing, but then Naruto might get bored.  “Maybe let’s look at the other games?”

“Hmmm.”  He scans around the room and sees one that two people seem to be playing.  “Maybe we can try something like that?”

“Oh, we can play together!” she happily observes.

“Yeah, looks like it.”

They settle on one that’s much simpler and less realistic, playing as two mice trying to collect as many blocks of cheese as possible without getting eaten by cats in a maze-like setting.  It’s surprisingly harrowing, living the life of mice, and they both cry out in horror, then laugh, when a cat finally corners them.

He watches the smile bunching her cheeks and honestly feels relieved to see that she’s enjoying herself as they try out the different games.  The new game center was a spur of the moment idea, and he didn’t actually think she would be interested.  He’s pretty certain that Kanae and Rumi would not have been too keen on playing games that seem to be marketed for children.

When they finally decide to stop and get lunch at Ichiraku, they discuss the new experience, marveling at the technology.

“It’s like a television, but you can interact with it!” Hinata considers aloud.  “I wonder how they did that?”

Naruto nods with equal fascination.  “They had all kinds of games, too.  Technology’s really changed in the past couple of years, hasn’t it, like people can have their own video recorders now.  Makes you wonder what they’ll come up with next, you know.”

She blinks in surprise.  Because actually, she hadn’t wondered about what will happen next.  “Hmm…”

“Like that video game we played with the ninja character.  Maybe they’ll make technology for shinobi.”

She tries to imagine what they could possibly need, but comes up empty.  “...Like what?”

He shrugs.  “Maybe different tools or medic-related things?  I have no idea,” he laughs.

“Hmm…  Technology that could make our work safer somehow would be nice.”

“Yeah.  Or make communication faster when we’re on the job.  There’s a lot of things we can do to ensure more safety for shinobi.  Technology might be the key to that.”

She hums in thoughtful agreement.  “You’ll be a great Hokage, Naruto-kun.”

He draws out of his musings and looks at her.  His lifelong dream is more believable to the general public than it ever was before, but it’s still surprising to hear that kind of simple confidence in him.

She just took a mouthful of ramen, so she can’t do much to address his look.  She tries to give him a closed-lipped smile and swallow as quickly as she can.  “You’re always thinking about the future for us.”

“Oh,” he murmurs, inexplicably shy when usually he'd be peacocking at the recognition.  Dazed, he slurps up more of his ramen to fill the silence.

She watches him eat through his blush, and she’s glad that at least this time, he’s taking her compliment without argument or deflection.

She sees that slowly but surely, they’ll grow more comfortable in each other’s presence.  She looks forward to the day when he’ll acknowledge all that she sees in him.  When that day will be exactly, she doesn’t know.  Around 10 years worth of admiration and love would be a lot for anyone to take on, but she’ll do her best to convey all of it to him.  In words and action.

So she lets herself enjoy his careful hug at the end of their date.  It’s still daytime, and anyone could see them, but it’s still just as amazing as the night before.  “Today was fun, Naruto-kun.  Thank you.”  She readies her heart for the separation, committing his warmth to memory, and steps back.

“Thank you, Hinata.  I had a lot of fun, too.”  He already misses her.  He can’t wait for the next time, but…  “I’ll see you when I come back from my border patrol.”

She nods.  “Be safe.”

His heart grows heavy, the knowledge of a perfect date coming to an end disappointing.  “You, too, if you get called for a mission in the meantime.”

“Of course.”  She smiles to make her promise with confidence, and she can see his promise to return safely in his eyes, too.

*

In any downtime, he finds himself musing on Hinata.  He’s eager to see her smile, hear her laugh, and hold her again.  And supposedly she’s returning from a mission today after another week apart.

So he weaves through the busy throngs of people as he heads to the Hokage’s Office.  He’ll be helping with some administration duties, and if he’s lucky, he’ll get to see her while he’s there.

He enters the spacious lobby, and instead, his hopeful look around lands on a small brunette.

Rumi with her team.

He hasn’t seen her since that awful night.  Eyes averted, he walks past them with as normal a rushed gait as possible to the stairs.

“Naruto.”

And he stops, her voice, once so intimate to him, freezing him in anxious guilt.  He turns back to see her.

Her gaze is steely, slightly pinched with a look akin to anger, but he’s not sure.  Distrust?  Hatred?  Any of those is what he deserves.

But he doesn’t have any idea as to why she would call out to him.  “Rumi,” he murmurs.

And she grimaces.  She strides forward, leaving her teammates sides, who are both in unfriendly stances toward him.  She takes an obvious breath as she looks up.  Her brows furrow, and he realizes, he’s the enemy.  “I want to hear it from you.”

He waits for clarification.

She takes another breath.  “You’re dating...Hinata-san.”

He watches how she doesn’t cry, she doesn’t look at all broken like that night.  She’s hard, defenses up, prepared for his blow.  It’s relieving, while simultaneously condemning him even more on his folly.  He misjudged her strength.  “...Yeah,” he quietly affirms.

He hears the doors open, and he looks up.

It’s Team 8.

He sees Hinata’s bewilderment at the situation, how her eyes widen, her pace slows.

“You’re the worst.”  Rumi’s voice, scathing.

He looks back to her, alarmed by such an unfamiliar tone from her.

Her eyes squint with obvious scorn.  She shakes her head.  “I can’t believe you.  I really-”  She takes a step back.  “You disgust me,” she gasps out.  She turns around, rejoins her team, and walks out without hesitation.

He stands there stunned.  He can’t bring himself to acknowledge Team 8’s uneasy presence, he can’t look at Hinata.

“We’ll go turn in our report,” Kiba murmurs.

Kiba and Shino leave.

He wishes she didn’t see that.  Then he could at least try to pretend this never happened, suppress this memory like everything else he does when it comes to Rumi.  He just wants to do better, be better.  Move on.  He doesn’t want Hinata to see what a disaster he’s been in the past.

She draws closer, though unsure of what to say.  She can make a good guess as to why Rumi said those things to him.   From what little Naruto told her at the hospital and what Sakura told her after, it seems like he broke up with Rumi so that he could be with her.  If she didn't know that, then of course Rumi would be hurt to find out…  “Naruto-kun?” she whispers.

He finally glances at her, surprised to see only concern in her eyes.  “Sorry…”  He doesn’t know what he’s apologizing for, he just feels like he should.

“No…”  She tries to dig for words to set him at ease.  It’s obvious his break-up was bad, much messier than her own.  And as far as she knows, he broke up with Rumi only about a month ago, or even less, for about the time that they’ve been together.  Was their relationship just too soon?  What can she say?

“...I’ll talk to you later, Hinata…”

“Oh, okay.”  She watches him run up the steps and disappear.  Is it her place to follow?  Or is this where she needs to give him space?

She decides to do what she must do.  First, she goes to report in with the Hokage and help her team.  Then after she’ll go looking for him, at least to tell him that she’s available.

He hurries to the Analytics Office to log data with Shikamaru.  He can bury himself in work, be productive at the same time, and hide from humiliation.

He was such a fool to date Rumi.  If he had never dated her, he would have never made such stupid mistakes, hurt her, wasted her time, wasted his own time, made Hinata wait, made Hinata date that guy, made himself sick and jealous.  If he had just figured out Hinata’s feelings sooner, or if he had figured out his own feelings sooner.

If he had been smarter or more mature.

If he hadn’t been so foolish...

She hovers in the doorway, hesitant to bother him, when he seems to be ignoring her.  But she finally steps in, making her presence obvious.

He looks up, surprised. “Hinata...Sorry, I can talk to you later…I need to help Shikamaru with all of this.”

She nods, wondering if she should have given him more space.  He already promised to talk to her later after all, and so maybe she didn’t need to go looking for him.

“How annoying,” Shikamaru groans, looking up from his journal.  “I don’t need help.”  He looks pointedly at Naruto.  “No need to put on a professional front, you missed her, right?  You can thank me later.”

Naruto gapes at his friend.  His excuse from confronting his stupid life taken away, just like that.  “There’s still a lot left.”

“Just go.”

“But I’ve only helped for less than a hour.”

“You can just come back after.”

“I-it’s okay, Shikamaru-san.”  Each of Naruto’s protests tears at her a little.  If he needs more time away from her, then she should give that to him.  She didn’t realize that she’s been getting spoiled by the last two dates.  “I didn’t mean to bother, I just wanted to tell Naruto-kun that I’m free this afternoon.”

He can feel the emotional distance he’s putting between them, but it just feels like the right thing to do for now.  His mind is so scattered with regret.  He wishes he never dated Rumi.  He wishes he never got so full of himself.  He wishes he wasn’t so stupid, so disgusting, the worst.  “...Sorry, Hinata, I don’t want to leave Shikamaru with all of this.”

“I understand.”  She smiles to show that she really does.  “Both of you are working really hard.  I’ll be checking in at home, then, okay?”

Her smile cuts him.  He’s obviously not doing the right thing, but what is the right thing in this case?  “Alright, I’ll see you later, Hinata.”  He watches her turn away, disappear from view.  But for now, just for now, he can’t talk to her.  She said she understands, right?  Can she tell that he doesn’t know what to do or say?

“What a drag.  If you’re going to look so forlorn, then why the hell are you staying here?”

His gaze darts to his friend.  “I’m not ‘forlorn’!”

Shikamaru presses his hand to his forehead, like he might have a headache.  “I don’t want to ask.  I’m asking anyway.  What happened?  You missed her all week, didn’t you?”

“...Yeah.”  He frowns at the desk, not wanting to talk about this at all.

“...And?!”

“...And I saw Rumi downstairs.”

“...So?”

“Hinata saw us.”

“........So?!  Isn’t that more reason to make sure that Hinata didn’t get the wrong idea?”

Naruto sits up, confused.

“Or are you thinking of breaking up already and going back to Rumi.  Is that what happened?”

“No!”  He stands, indignant at the suggestion.  “Of course not!”

“Then why didn’t you want to talk to Hinata?  She just came back from her mission.”

All of the fight drains out of him.  “...I don’t know what to say.”

“That’s not like you,” Shikamaru intones.  “Out of all of the times to choose to think first and act later, you’re choosing now to hesitate?”

“What do you mean?  I just don’t know how to act!  Rumi said some stuff in front of everyone, and it was really bad, embarrassing.  I’m not hesitating!”

“What did Rumi- No, it doesn’t matter.  You don’t have to say or act anything special, Naruto.  You should at least just greet Hinata properly.”

“...You’re right.”

“Of course I’m right.  Get out of here already,” he sighs.

“Yeah.  Sorry, Shikamaru.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he says carelessly and waves him off.

He runs out of the building, and it doesn’t take long at all to catch up.  “Hinata!”

She turns at his voice, surprised, but glad.  “Naruto-kun!”

He walks in pace with her, energy falling just as quickly.  “I’m sorry.”

She frowns.  “No?  There’s nothing to apologize for.  I-I’m sorry for bothering you, I didn’t mean to be impatient.”

“No, I’m sorry for...earlier, and just now...”  

The sight of Naruto and Rumi’s confrontation bothered her, but she doesn’t think she should push him about it.  She’s not sure it’s her place to ask what happened.  But she does want to know if… “Are you okay?”

He shrugs.  “Yeah.”  He still feels shitty about all of it, but it’s not like Rumi said anything untruthful.  He already knows he’s the worst.  And at least there’s some reprieve in knowing that...that he disgusts her…

She tries to assess his serious expression.  Should she ask?  Should she give him space?  Do people talk about their exes with their new partner?  In the past, he just talked about Kanae without any curiosity on her part, so she’s never had to ask before.  “...Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really.”

She nods silently.

“Ah!!” he shouts in realization.  “I didn’t go up to her myself or anything like that, Hinata!  She asked me if I was dating you, and I said yes, and then..yeah.”

She stares for a second, surprised by his sudden outburst, but she nods even harder.  “I...I kind of thought so.”

He lets out a quiet sigh of relief.  He realizes that Hinata could have interpreted everything differently.  Like Shikamaru said, she could have suspected he approached Rumi first.  But she didn’t.  She trusted him.  Out of her forgiveness, he somehow didn’t ruin the faith she’s putting into their new relationship.  He can't take her patience for granted.  He needs to try harder.  He needs to do better for Hinata.

He stops in his tracks.

Noticing that he’s not keeping up, she turns around.  “Naruto-kun?”

“You know that I’d never cheat on you, right?”

The thought hadn’t occurred to her at all.

“You know that my...previous relationships...don’t compare to this, how I feel for you?”

She feels a blush rise.  “...Naruto-kun...you said something similar before…”  Of course she didn’t forget!

“I’m sorry I dated them, I wish I never dated them.  I wish I realized my feelings for you earlier, and I wish I only had had you this whole time.”  The regrets that clamored about his mind rush out, and in his vulnerability, he watches, afraid that he’s only reminding her of his mistakes.  Where does she draw the line in her patience?  In her forgiveness?

“N-Naruto-kun,” she stutters out, flustered, “I didn’t think you were cheating on me.”  It’s true that at the start of their relationship, she told herself to be careful, but he’s since given her the same concentrated attention that he would to a mission.  She hasn’t once felt like his affection is a lie.

“Hinata…”

She nods.  She swallows down the butterflies.  “I get to be with you now, and I’m very happy.  I’ve never been happier.  So, don’t worry about me.”

Her warm smile sets him at ease.  How fortunate is he to have someone like Hinata willing to deal with him?  And on top of that, be happy about it?  “I hope I can keep you happy.  I’ll make sure you’re happy all the time.”

Her expression scrunches up.  She doesn’t know whether to smile or reprimand him for such silly yet earnest promises.  She can’t handle it.  She shakes her head, and looks down.  “Naruto-kun, that’s too much.”

Too much?  “No, it’s not.  It’s my job as your boyfriend.”  If she’s not happy with him all the time, then she’ll leave.  It’s the very least of his duties!

She meets his gaze again, slightly perplexed.  “This isn’t your job, please don’t think of this as your job.  When it’s us, it’s just us.  Of course, I want to make you happy, too, Naruto-kun, but happiness is something we do together, right?  We’re a team?”

“A team…”

“If we have bad days, or if we ever disagree on something, we work through it together, and we come out happier together.”

“Bad days?  I’ll never let you have a bad day, Hinata!”

“W-what!” she laughs.

“I’ll protect you from everything bad, and we’ll never fight or argue or anything like that!”

“Naruto-kun!” she protests.

He knows it sounds silly, but he means it.  “I never want to make you sad or mad.”  ...It strikes him that he’s made this promise before, truly believing he would hold his end up.  And he didn't, his words far lighter and more easily broken than he could have ever realized of himself.  Now, a heavy shame he doesn't even know how to hold.

“I never want to make you sad or mad, either."  She wonders at his sudden downcast expression, if he's still thinking about Rumi, and if he always puts so much pressure on himself for his relationships.  She doesn't want to be another weight on his shoulders.  She just wants to see his smile.  "If you’re happy, then I’m happy.”  She gazes up at him, hoping he sees that she needs nothing else.  

Before her, his past guilt is forced back so easily.  Everything with Hinata is so easy.  He would have never known.  He hurt Rumi for a reason, he broke that promise because they both have better things to move on to.  Each moment with Hinata affirms his decision.  No matter how selfish it was, if Hinata's happy, then it was worth it.  She makes everything worth it.  “I’m happy if you’re happy, too.”

Pink fills her cheeks as her smile brightens.

“Thank you for being my teammate, Hinata.”

She can’t help fidgeting from his sweetness.  “Thank you for being my teammate, Naruto-kun.”

He lets her returned affection settle in, calm the vestiges of his anxiety.  He’s constantly afraid that he’s going to mess up, but Hinata makes it seem as if he’s been doing fine this whole time.

It makes him hopeful that they will last.  Past one month, today, tomorrow, next month, next year.  This is only the start, but he’s already made so many promises to make up for everything he's lacking.

At the very least, he needs to prove his word is worth her faith.

That he has love, the real thing, behind each of his pitiful apologies.

He wants to start giving, not always receiving.  Even if she says she's already happy, he knows he can do so much more.  But how?

[ambivalens999]

Hello ! I'm glad we can interact here. Someone reccomended me Masks last week and since then I ate it up. I have a few questions . What did Kakashi think when he found out who Saori/Sakura was? Was he surprised ? Regarding Sasuke's and Itachi relationship ,does it improve? From what I understood it's not bad ,but the communication between them seems lacking? When you write ,what are your goals? I think your caracters are writen beautifuly and I like how I can relate with them . Thank you!

Hello hello! Sorry for the delay in response, but hopefully these answers are mostly satisfying lol <3

1.  He’s taken by surprise, yes, in the sense that he had not in the least suspected Saori = Sakura. If I had to point to the dominant emotion he feels in the aftermath, though, I would say it’s anger--he spends very little time on denial / shock, if at all. And there are numerous factors that contribute to that anger. It isn’t only that Sakura has ostensibly “betrayed” Konoha. It isn’t only that it’s some sort of blow to his pride that he was successfully duped / fooled by someone he thought inept (although that’s a part of it). In my mind, the betrayal feels all the more perverse to him because it is personal--and I feel that to point just to the fact that they slept together as the cause of this would be too simplistic. More generally, Sakura’s relative lack of fear (as compared to nearly every other ANBU’s healthy caution of him) and her aggressive resentment (lol) enable her as Saori to push past the front Kakashi puts up, allowing her consequently (often unintentionally) to witness poignant intstances of vulnerability others do not...a handful of instances, but even that small amount is more than nearly anyone else has seen. These moments--her witnessing them and atypical reactions to them--undeniably have an impact on Kakashi too, though not really consciously observed or recognized until this moment of betrayal. Ironically, it’s as Sakura seems to betray him and Konoha that Kakashi realizes that he had unwittingly come to trust Saori/Sakura more than the average teammate, certainly more than whatever negligible value he typically assigns someone he has slept with--and, as you can observe, this sort of sends him off the deep end lmao.

2. Sasuke and Itachi’s relationship does improve <3 I’m not going to say much more than that though because I am vaguely planning to write a short piece for them as part of the vignette-style sequel :)

3. What are my goals when I write? Damn. That’s a big question. Hmm. For this fic in particular, I was very driven by the idea of writing a Sakura who is jaded, gritty, kind of an asshole, and just...seriously struggling with things far weightier than she had dealt with in canon. I was also generally sick of reading very nice and palatable, sweet-girl (or sassy-but-not-really-threatening) takes on her. There’s nothing inherently wrong with those depictions, just...well, they’re not interesting or particularly exciting examples of female characters (to me) and already dominate so many of the narratives we see. Tbh, now that I think about it, my fic’s Sakura is kind of like a too-ambitious Naruto verse answer to Jessica Jones? Lol. But yeah. I don’t necessarily believe that you have to write with a conscious agenda (social, political, or otherwise), but I do think I ended up taking on quite a few in the course of this fic, not limited to: a non-male character achieving a kind of success that our society would typically associate with masculinity, a non-male main character exploring their sexuality before “settling” down, and sex generally being treated as this fluid thing that doesn’t need to be assigned so much importance. At the same time, I did also want to address a lot of topics that I felt canon probably had to sugar-coat to some extent: the inevitable trauma resulting from a livelihood embedded in so much violence--non-sexual and sexual, perpetrated and received, justified and unjustified (depending on competing moral systems). Sakura’s characterization was definitely influenced by this; Sai’s/Sasuke’s as well--and ofc I would be remiss if I didn’t also say that this is the driving force behind this fic’s Kakashi’s not-so-subtle differences from canon Kakashi.

Yikes! Those were some paragraph answers haha. But hopefully not too confusing--I hope I answered what you were looking for! Def feel free to drop any follow up qs / ask me to clarify anything :)

P.S. forgive me my typos lol 🙏

[redcameleon]

Superstar Series

Chapter 09: Sacrifices

Summary: Being an idol means sacrificing your privacy. As Sasuke and Sakura’s relationship growing stronger, it means more chances of getting caught. Someone has to warn them of the dangers. 

Rating: K.

Shikamaru must admit that his suspicion of the two is growing. He’s not gonna lie when he says he notices how close those two are. The other staff members might not notice it, but being around them for so long, you start to pick up things. The way they look at each other, the way their fingers ever so slightly brush against each other, the way they linger close to each other, the way they always find each other whenever they’re in the same room.

As their manager, it’s his job to manage the group and the members’ well-beings. But it’s also to make sure that nothing goes wrong with the group synergy. He hates being the bad guy, but there are consequences of idols dating. Being under the spotlight almost 24/7 robs them from any privacy they would have had. The people they hangout with, the people they hate, the people they’re dating, will all be made known to the whole world whether they like it or not.

He decides he might have to confront one of them if their relationship progresses into something further. A few weeks ago he decided to keep things lowkey and not bring anything up. But now that he’s noticed how much closer they’ve gotten, he makes up his mind to have a talk with Sasuke.  

.

.

“Hey everyone.” He enters the dance studio. The members have just finished rehearsal and are collapsed on the floor in exhaustion. They all greeted him half-heartedly. One by one, each member steps outside to head to the showers. Shikamaru places his hand on Sasuke’s shoulder, stopping him in his tracks.

“A word?” Sasuke eyes him before turning his full attention to him. “You know how being an idol is not easy. You practically sacrificed living a normal life and your privacy the moment you choose to take this path. As an idol, every move you make, every choice you make will have consequences.” Sasuke raises an eyebrow. He’s aware of all those things the moment he decides to sign that contract with them. He doesn’t exactly know where this conversation is heading but he listens anyway.

Shikamaru sighs in defeat, almost painfully.

“I know about you and Sakura.” Sasuke’s eyes widen considerably. Of course, Shikamaru, their manager, of all people would have noticed them. He curses under his breath.

“Don’t worry, I haven’t told anyone. But you have to be more careful.” Sasuke looks down, too embarrassed to meet his eyes. “You know what would happen if word goes out you’re dating someone, let alone a staff in our own company.”

Silence.

“Look, I don’t want to tell you not to keep dating her, but think about what this will do for your and Sakura’s career.” Sasuke turns to look at him, not quite sure what he means.

“If people found out you and Sakura are dating, she’ll be fired. People will talk about her and I can imagine they won’t be saying nice things.” He’s right. Sasuke finally comes to a realization. Why hadn't I seen it that way?

Sasuke knows how celebrities get treated when they’re involved in a dating scandal. But if the relationship revolves around a celebrity dating a non-celebrity, he can imagine the responses would be even worse. People would be even more curious, heck some crazies out there might even start stalking them!

Shikamaru sighs and almost feels bad for him.

“Just, maybe try to keep your distance and not alert suspicion.”

Having been told all that, Sasuke’s mind is jumbled up.

What am I gonna do? Should I tell Sakura?

He has to admit, Shikamaru has a point, but it still doesn’t mean he’s going to just avoid Sakura from now on. If anything that would look more suspicious. He decides to be more discreet.

.

.

Sasuke didn’t not think things were going to get worse from that point, but it just did. Naruto suddenly bursts out of his bedroom and hollers.

“Sasuke! Yo have you seen this?!” Panic is written all over Naruto’s face, making Sasuke anxious. “There’s a dating scandal about you!”

“What?” Sasuke snatches the phone from his hand and reads the article, word by word.

K-4’s Sasuke with A Secret Girlfriend?

What kind of nonsense is this? Sasuke scrolls down to look at a blurry picture taken at night. He notices the picture was taken recently after they did a music broadcast. They were all heading to their vans, and Sasuke remembers walking together with Sakura to their van. He carefully examines the picture and the woman standing next to him does have similar features to Sakura. He’s almost certain that’s when it was.

Shit.

A ball of worry and anxiety settles in his stomach. This is not looking good at all. Neither for him nor Sakura.

Shikamaru’s right.

He’s going to have to talk to Sakura about this. But what will he say? That they should just keep things professional between them? That he feels nothing for her? That he doesn’t hope to develop a more long-term relationship between them? He’d be lying straight to her face if he said any of that.

He can’t deny his growing feelings for her. Being around her so often has made him accustomed to it. He can’t imagine what it would feel like if he were to completely detach himself of her presence.

But then his selfish side begins to appear. A tiny voice he’s been trying to suppress ever since he had that talk with Shikamaru begins to resurface.

He’s been working so hard, training so hard since he was 17 to be where he’s at right now. Countless hours of rehearsals, lessons, have brought him where he is. If all of that were to be taken away from him, then all of his efforts will turn to nothing. There’s still so many things he wants to do. Not to mention, he doesn't want to ruin Sakura’s career.

Is he really willing to sacrifice his career for this woman? Is Sakura ready to accept the burn that might come once people learn about their relationship? Will he regret it? Is this a logical choice?

If distancing himself from Sakura is the sacrifice he has to make to achieve his (and her) goals, then he’ll have no choice.

.

.

.

to be continued.

<--Chapter 8          Chapter 10-->

[365daysofsasuhina]

[ @sasuhinabigflash2020​​ || Day Five: Something You Heard a Friend Say ] [ Uchiha Sasuke, Hyūga Hinata ] [ SasuHina ] [ Verse: A Light Amongst Shadows ] [ AO3 Link ]

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Rumors were quick to spread through the Academy like wildfire. Though scarcely through their first week of classes, the newest group of shinobi-to-be were already settling into new friendships, new rivalries, and new crushes...which meant speculation and assumptions abounded.

Admittedly, Hinata had yet to do...any of those things. Withdrawn and quiet, none of the other girls had bothered with her yet. Nor was she exactly decent material for a rival, given her lack of confidence or real skil. And as for crushes...well, one boy had caught her eye, but apparently she was in the minority.

While he hadn’t been as completely isolated as she was growing up, Uchiha Sasuke was still a relative unknown to most of the other children. Being part of a clan - especially one considered to be one of the four “royal” clans - typically meant socializing far more with your kin than outsiders. It was simply how most operated, though to differing levels of severity. Hinata, for example, had only met a few other up-and-coming heirs of other clans, and briefly.

Sasuke was one of them.

According to her father, they had distant shared roots, the Uchiha and the Hyūga. So out of the other children she’d seen - those like Yamanaka Ino, Aburame Shino, among others - he’d been the most frequent. But even then, meetings between them were rare. Hyūga were simply withdrawn as a clan.

Hinata would later learn this was both out of secrecy, and a thinly-veiled feeling of superiority compared to other clans.

Hence her lack of surprise at seeing him again in their Academy class. She was already a bit...desensitized to him.

But for most of the other girls, especially those without clans, it was their first glimpse of the younger Uchiha heir.

And that meant quite a few of them immediately falling for his well-bred appearance.

While Hinata was in no way opposed to Sasuke in their youth, she just didn’t latch onto him like so many others seemed to. Whether it was that familiarity taking away whatever edge entranced the rest, or some other reason, she wasn’t sure.

But when the rumor began that he had a penchant for girls with longer hair, it just...didn’t phase her the way it did others. Most girls her age had short hair to begin with anyway. Hinata had her hime cut that she liked just fine. It was technically her father’s doing - something about a traditional style for young Hyūga girls. In truth she didn’t much mind what she looked like. But as time passed in the Academy, more and more girls let their hair grow longer, while Hinata - partially out of deference to her father, and partially out of a lack of caring much in the first place - kept her same old style, which led to the assumption she wanted nothing to do with him.

But then that fateful day arrived when the genin teams for their year were announced...and Hinata found herself assigned Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke as teammates.

Needless to say, she was taken aback. Partially due to her long-standing crush on the former, and her complete lack of exactly that with the latter.

And sadly...it resulted in more than one angry girl from their year. While she wasn’t exactly what she would call friends with any of them...the sudden shift in attitude from apathetic to antagonistic took her completely by surprise.

“I still can’t believe she’s on a team with Sasuke-kun…”

“Ugh, I know! It’s so unfair! I mean look at her - she clearly doesn’t care about him like I do!”

“Or me!”

“Her hair’s even still short. How long have I grown mine out to get his attention, and now this! It’s almost insulting!”

Hinata did her best to ignore them, pretending she didn’t hear the biting words and accusations. She didn’t even want Sasuke’s attention…! And now suddenly every mouth in their year was saying the same thing:

What a waste.

It echoed sentiments she heard so often at home - while differently rooted, still bearing the same message. And that proved to be harder to bear than she’d initially thought.

She’d even gone to Iruka to ask for a new assignment. Even if that meant giving up her being Naruto’s teammate.

But the decision was final. Barring something catastrophic, nothing could change the team assignments.

She was stuck with them.

So...Hinata was left with no other option. Grit her teeth, and bear it.

But that didn’t make it any easier.

A final straw was reached a day after training. Sakura and Ino had caught sight of her on her way home, and in what was clearly meant to be heard words, hashed over the same tired accusations.

And Hinata found she just didn’t have the energy to keep up her walls. Not after an entire session of hard work and the exhaustion it brought. Instead, everything they said slipped right past her armor, and nailed her in the heart.

Tears springing to her eyes, she’d sprinted past them, not caring where she was going so long as it was away from them.

And eventually she found herself slowing to a stop in one of the village’s park-like gardens. Still visibly upset and wanting to disappear, she curled up at the base of a tree and buried her face in her arms, as if she could truly vanish if she just made herself small enough.

But for better or worse, her plan failed...and she found herself discovered.

“Hyūga.”

For a moment she didn’t move, but then pale eyes peered up at her companion: none other than Sasuke himself.

“What are you doing out here?”

She almost considered ignoring him, but...well, he hadn’t done anything wrong. Taking out her temper on him - even in such a quiet way - wasn’t fair. “...I just...w-wanted to be alone,” was her lackluster explanation.

“You look like you’ve been crying.”

To that, she had no retort.

“Did someone hurt you?”

The question took her by surprise. What did he care? “...no…”

“Then why are you crying?”

The blunt inquiries saw a tiny spike in her temper. “It...it doesn’t matter.”

“Of course it does. It made you cry. That means it matters enough to do that much.”

...he was making too much sense. Wiping at her cheeks with a sleeve, she considered how much to say, and how much to leave out. “...people have...been saying untrue things about...a-about me.”

“Like what?”

She sighed. “...Sasuke-kun, why...why do you care?”

“Because you’re my teammate,” was his simple response. “If something’s bothering you, it’s going to affect our team.”

Her gaze flickered over his face, feeling like that wasn’t the complete truth, but having no evidence to the contrary. “...some of the other girls were...a-angry I was picked to be your teammate.”

“Tch. Jealousy.”

The term made her stomach squirm. “...it’s like they...they think that I s-stole you from them. But I didn’t pick you as a teammate. N-none of us got to choose. So why take it out on me…?” Her tone began to break, eyes stinging once more as she fought the feeling.

“Because that’s the easiest way to take out their frustration. Which is cowardly. You had nothing to do with the team arrangements. Neither did I, or any of them. But they let their jealousy turn them into nasty brats. Don’t worry about it, Hinata.”

“I...I don’t, but…”

“But what?”

...okay, this was getting awfully close to something she did not want to talk about. “...it’s just been a constant...this whole time. I’ve been t-trying to ignore it. And it worked for a while. I just…” A shaking breath escaped her. “...I’m tired today. I-I let it slip.”

His eyes flickered over her, clearly as unconvinced she’s being truthful as she’d been over his earlier claim, but just as unwilling to call it out. “...I’ll talk to them about it.”

“B-but -?!”

“If they won’t listen to you, then I’ll just have to take care of it myself. I can’t have a teammate being harassed and losing their grip.” Looking out to one side, it was clear he was trying to appear nonchalant. “Surely that’ll put a stop to it.”

Looking to him in obvious surprise - she never expected him to go that far for her sake - Hinata just...nodded slowly. What else was there to say?

“I’ve faced my share of rumors, good and bad,” he then murmured, surprising her further. “I know how bad it can get. Best we stomp this one out before it gets any bigger. If anyone else gives you crap...let me know.”

Brow wilting in lingering confusion, she simply replied, “O...okay.”

“So, who was it this time?”

“Er, um…”

“Out with it, Hyūga,” he demanded, but not unkindly.

“...Sakura-chan and...I-Ino-chan.”

“Tch, should have known. At least they’re big enough gossipers it shouldn’t take long for word to get around. If not...we’ll have to have another talk.”

With that, he simply turned and made to leave, and Hinata watched him go. By then she knew there was no convincing him otherwise, and...while she didn’t want to turn the situation into some dramatic affair or get the girls in trouble, she couldn’t help but hope it would stop - or at least lighten - the verbal abuse she’d been getting.

Left alone with her thoughts, Hinata stewed in them for a time before hauling herself to her feet. By then, the sting of their taunting had faded. And it was getting late. Break her curfew, and Hiashi would be even harder to deal with.

Otherwise...she’d just have to wait to see if Sasuke’s stern words would have any effect. The offer still left her feeling...uncertain. While he hadn’t been at all aggressive or dismissive of her, they were far from being friends. Him going so far out of his way seemed odd.

And yet something told her his unfeeling reason for doing so wasn’t the entire story.

But, she couldn’t really give any other evidence to the contrary, so...time would have to tell. Perhaps the Uchiha boy wasn’t as withdrawn as he made himself out to be. Mulling that over, Hinata gave a little shrug and began the walk home.

She could puzzle it out more in the morning.

     Okay so this is technically related to an idea I started during my year-long challenge, but...given it’s mostly just a concept and not really an established story, I figure that’s passable xD Aka, my team seven!Hinata verse, which I’m sure has been done before.      So this isn’t...quite accurate to the prompt since the rumors aren’t really from either of their “friends”, but...it’s late and I’m out of time and ideas so pretend it’s a sarcastic friends instead lol      I think what I love most about this concept is that it flips a bit dynamic of OG team seven on its head: rather than the girl wanting Sasuke, she wants Naruto...which I think opens up a lot of interesting possibilities that I...do not have time for in this drabble xD And I’m not sure I’ll ever fully flesh out this idea since...it would likely involve a LOT of canon bending and that sounds exhausting bahaha~      ANYWHO I need to get to bed, I had a long day full of toothaches, so...I’m gonna go crash. Thanks as always for reading! <3

[daeva-agas]

YIKES, NO, THIS IS WRONG!!!

I don’t fault Sasuke, because what he “knows” is what the writers knows, and if they do their research wrong, unfortunately he’s gonna end up spewing something wrong. And I don’t mean the Ikesen version of this either. It’s what Sasuke says about “the textbook”.

In real history Hayashi Hidesada was exiled in 1580. His crime “24 years ago” was supporting Nobunaga’s younger brother to rebel in 1556. Now, this is a bit weird, because the timeline is pretty muddled. In Ikesen universe we’ve switched the younger brother out with the older brother and Nobunaga was 13 then. So either this means that Nobunaga is 37 “now”, or in Ikesen universe that so-called “24 years ago” nonsense is actually a subtle foreshadowing that something’s wrong with this story (because later it’s revealed that there’s a good explanation for it). 

The Oda clan accounts claim that “Hidesada was planning to rebel again in 1579-1580″. I’m not sure if the details of the so-called new rebellion is ever detailed anywhere else, but the Oda has been plagued with rebellion left and right since 1578. If Hidesada really was doing something suspicious, the environment is already so paranoid that Nobunaga is not going to be as forgiving. 

Specifying “24 years” is really glaringly odd, though, because if Nobunaga is only in his 20s-early 30s, would he not be way too young to have been impacted by whatever it was “24 years ago”? Of course it’s revealed that Hidesada was sent away for some other reason, but it makes one wonder just how did the other vassals think that a 24 year old grudge was the reason for the banishment. The numbers clearly doesn’t add up.

Sakuma’s faults is not that simple. Whoever wrote this has not done the homework to see what exactly does “dereliction of duties” entail. He was accused of taking all of the land he got and hoarding all its proceeds instead of distributing it with vassals, and according to the account Sakuma even fired some of the vassals that Nobunaga gave him. Also, Nobunaga accused him of being so “lazy” that when he sent out a call to arms for his men to help Ieyasu in Mikatagahara, Sakuma didn’t go. If I remember correctly only one Oda general ended up going to assist, and perished in battle. Whether or not Sakuma going would have helped anything is debatable, but Nobunaga considered this “cowardice” to be dishonourable conduct.

I’m disappointed in the writers for this. That thing about “Nobunaga disliking seniority” is something that’s unfortunately floating around in both English and Japanese articles, but the direct transcript of accusations against Sakuma Nobumori was actually available to view in Wikisources. It’s probably translated to modern Japanese for viewers’ benefit, but it’s proper and full, not paraphrased. If you want to pretend to include history in your story, try to at least research properly first? I don’t object to them changing difficult aspects of history because it’s really unpalatable, or inventing narratives because historically the reasons are unknown and they need to fill in the blanks with something. In this case, by all accounts Nobunaga’s reasons makes sense. 

Like, unfortunately we don’t have the vassals’ side of the story, but even as a modern person I find this to be reasonable accusation. Imagine a company where you have a senior manager that just sits around doing nothing all day long every day. You might as well just get rid of this guy and promote a new guy for the job. You might argue that banishment is too far. Sure, Nobu could’ve just confiscated land and give them hard tasks to make up for it, but “banishment” =/= horrible imprisonment. If they were just sent to some equivalent of a retirement home in some temple somewhere, then please tell me why is this supposed to be bad? They’re not killed, they’re not tortured, they just no longer have power and money. 

Imagine also that for the past 2 years, your company is rife with people embezzling money, selling out trade secrets, and making a mess of your company. Once the Boss hears that yet another person is embezzling money, is it not reasonable that under the stress the CEO would not take any more chances and fire this guy? 

[amenomiko]

IkeSen Husbands and Couvade Syndrome

Before I start, have you ever heard about Couvade Syndrome? Couvade Syndrome is a syndrome of where a husband will have the symptoms like a pregnant woman (vomitting, and craving for certain foods) due to the stress in his body towards the unborn baby (out of love and concerned for his baby).

So I'm thinking... How would it be if all the warlords have this kind of syndrome. Some norms said it can be shown that it will happen by showing the signs the wife might be pregnant (in my country, yes. So I'm going to use it here *giggles*) and during their pregnancy. Here it comes..!

Nobunaga

He brush his hand on her forehead. "Are you sure you don't need me to call for the doctor?"

She nodded, smiling weakly. "I'm sorry I couldn't attend the war council today."

"Don't be." He kissed her forehead. "Just rest."

He left the room when suddenly he feel uneasy in his chest. He shrug it off, and continue to walk to the council.

They've served some sake that Nobunaga has gotten as a gift with his new alliance that day. His face scrunched the moment he smell on the sake and his cup dropped from his hand, gaining attention from his warlords and vassals.

"...Nobunaga-sama?" Hideyoshi put down his own cup before approaching Nobunaga when his Lord cup his mouth all of a sudden, giving out a sound of hurling from his throat. "M-my Lord..! What's the matter??"

"G-get that sake away from me..! I feel awful...!" He hurled again, clutching on his stomach. "Wh- is it poisoned??" Hideyoshi turn to the other warlords.

"All of us drink it and we are fine. Nobunaga-sama is the only one who haven't drink it." Mitsunari added.

Before they check on the contains of sake, MC had excuses herself into the room with a smile on her face. "Pardon me, Anata-" She gasped. "Anata..? What's wrong??"

He turned to her. "...Fireball. Tell me."

"Yes?"

"Are you perhaps.. Pregnant?"

"Eh- wh- how did you know?? I'm about to tell you about it because I realize that I'm late lately."

He nodded weakly. "I see. That's good. Seems like I will get caught in this sickness for a while." He hugged MC close, as the hurling sensation in his chest fades slowly.

Hideyoshi

Talking about stress for his unborn baby, that will be suitable for Hideyoshi.

Each and every pregnancy of MC will be handled by Hideyoshi's body. This morning, MC informed to her husband that she is pregnant for their 4th child (wow wee 👀).

He was happy. Yet.. He said to himself. "Alright..! Here's another one. I can do this..! I'm sure I can handle it this time--"

Nope, the very next morning he woke up abruptly and vomitted in the nearby garden. He even walk around the hallways, with small stash of plum in his pocket.

He cried emotionally whenever MC talk to the baby, saying "My wife.. I'm sorry for making you pregnant with my child and making you tired and--"

"Anata.. There there." It will be MC's routine to calm him down. "It takes two to make a baby after all. So it's not your fault. Besides.." She whispered to him. "It's not your fault that I'm so adorable in your eyes." She winked.

"....THIS is the REASON why INDEED!" He pounced MC and kiss her all over until

"Mmmf- b-be right back, My Love."

Poor Hideyoshi.

Masamune

"Here you go Kitten." He blew the fish soup and feed his wife. "Aaahnn~~?"

"Pffft Honey, I can eat by myself okay?" She slurp on the soup and cough after, scrunching her face from the taste. "Masamune.. What did you put inside-- is that a sour plum??"

"Oh yes, I find that sour plum in every dish is very tasty nowadays don't you think?" He slurped it himself. "Hmm such delicacy."

"PPPPUUUUUU!!!"

"...Delicacy my foot." Ieyasu wipe his mouth with his sleeves.

"See? Ieyasu likes it too."

"Go and have your only eye checked OAO..!!

"I can see perfectly fine, Ieyasu, thank you for your concern 😏👉✨."

"This is delicious, Ieyasu. Why do you say so?" Mitsuhide smiled to his fish soup.

".....You and your sense of taste.... I'm out of here."

"No leaving the room before you finish your meal, Ieyasu! Nobunaga-sama, I saw that. Don't add your soup into mine..!" - Hideyoshi.

Ieyasu

He tossed in his sleep. Again and again, until he jolted to run out and vomit.

"Again.." She pursed her lips, as she pour the tea in his cup. "Honey.. Are you okay?"

"..I'm fine. This is nothing. Noth- uff-!" He vomitted again and MC had to rush and rub on his back. He waved his hand, urging MC to get back inside. "I'm fine- just-" He hurled. "Go back inside-- uff..!!"

She rubbed her belly, smiling at her husband. "Aww Honey." After rubbing his back, she kissed his temple. "Here, I've made a tea that can make you sleep easily." She glances at his panda eyes that lacks of sleep ever since she is pregnant with their 3rd child.

He nods, sighing tiredly and drinks the tea. "How are you doing?" He leans and rest on her shoulder as he put his hand on her growing belly. "I'm perfectly fine, thanks to you who always take over those sickness for me."

"Hn.. This is nothing.. Compared to you who have to carry it for 9 months and.." He yawn. "Giving birth to it.." He sighs before a soft snore takes over him.

"Good night, Honey." She kissed him again.

Mitsunari

"MC.. I.." He pat on his chest. "I don't feel very good.. I-" He cup his mouth. "Nnn-"

"Aww Honey.. There there.." They hugged each other as she rub around his back. "Is this how every woman usually face when they are pregnant?"

"Uhuh."

"Wow.. I respect you a lot." He hugged MC closer, nuzzling into her neck. "I swear I will take care of you until we grow old together.."

"Oh? He fell asleep." With book in his hand. "I haven't give birth yet and I already have a big baby here-"

Suddenly he woke up in shock.

"A-anata??"

He hurled. "Unf-..!" And run out from the room as quick as possible.

"Honey, wait..! The bucket is here..! You will vomit halfway again!"

Mitsuhide

It was when he's on a mission. He can feel the uneasiness in his stomach and chest when he ride the horse, and he find himself being extra tired, more than before after a long ride.

Due to it too, he is lack of sleep. His network of spies noticed too, even his ninja suggest that he should rest. "I'm fine." He grinned, fighting back the feeling.

He had no problem with eating, but every time he eat, he will vomit. Mitsuhide didn't know how to respond to this situation, to have this wave of sickness; it is not him.

Somehow he manage it until he return to Azuchi after capturing the criminals. As he about to ask them questions, he pauses. Turning as his back facing his man to pat on his chest.

"Well lad are you alright? Do you have a wife? You should check if she's pregnant. Heh. It's a common thing if a husband gets the signs before the wife."

He blinked, looking at the criminal from his shoulder as he shrugged before continuing "I'm a doctor in disguise remember? I didn't take my disguise lightly."

"..My lord? Where are you going?" One of his ninja asked. "Take over my place for a while." He rushed to MC's bed chamber and before he could slide the door, she already opened it from inside. "Oh- oh..! Anata..! Welcome home!" She hugged him and he smiled into her neck.

"You look so happy. More than happy. You miss me that bad, little mouse?" He grinned and his heart give a thump! when she blushed.

"Of course I'm happy.. Because.. I have a good news to tell you..!"

"You are pregnant?"

She gasped. "Hehehe as expected from my husband. Yes..! I am, Mitsuhide..!"

He smiled back. All that sickness and "thanks" to the criminal back then.. He finally understand it.

Kenshin

Sasuke served another bowl of sour plum, sweet plums and bitter plums. "So this is what the syndrome does.." He adjusts his glasses. "Kenshin-sama. Did you realize you've been eating plums for almost 5 months?"

"It's normal, Sasuke. If it's for my wife and our child, I'm fine. But-" He clicked his tongue. "I can't find myself to drink sake for now."

"Well, it's her 3rd pregnancy, you should get used to it, yes?"

"...Not me." Shingen sighed.

Kenshin snatched the dango from Shingen's plate and eat it with one of his plums. "Hnn. Such peculiar taste. I don't hate it." He smiled before having another bite from it.

Shingen eyes twitch from Kenshin's appetite. "Oh the horror."

Yukimura: That's me with your endless appetite for desserts, Shingen-sama.

Shingen

"Hmhmhm this is delicious..! Oh this one too."

"Anata, eat slowly okay? Or else you will-"

"Mmmf--" He hurl and vomitted right on spot into the bucket.

"See?" MC blinked when her husband suddenly wiped his tears.

"*sniff* Ah, I'm sorry MC. You are so tempting and I made you pregnant again. My beloved Goddess, sacrificing herself for her people that is overwhelmed with lust.. Ah such sin..!" He wipe his mouth with his sleeve.

".....Oh god." MC eye twitched.

".....Oh god again." Yukimura twitched too to his overly dramatic lord.

"Hmm. I feel like eating.." He's eying Kenshin's plums this time.

"......Die."

"*sniff* How heartless you are (ಥ ͜ʖಥ)."

"You are not the one who is pregnant here Shingen." He rolled his eyes.

"Yeah of course. But it took half of me to make her pregna-"

His mouth is shoved with 5 dumpling after that. By MC.

Yukimura

He pointed forward. "CHARRRRGE!!!" All of his vassals roar in unison as they charge towards their enemy, clashing swords with one another.

"Good. It seems we are win-" He frowned when he choked on his own voice all of a sudden. His hand immediately move to cup his mouth as he hurl his stomach out. "Mmf- what the hell-" He don't remember if he had a bad meal before going into battle.

"Yukimura!!""Huh- wha- oof!!"

Shingen had grabbed him by his collar as arrow fly pass his right ear. "What's wrong?? Are you alright? I'm confused because you have stopped talking and hold your stomach. Did you get stabbed or something?"

"No.. Shingen-sama. I don't know- mmf- myself. Feel like vomitting. I didn't remember having any meal this morning."

"Oho-" His lord kicked the enemy off from his horse. "Whatever it is I think you should check on your beloved wife the moment you get back home. Make sure you are home safely alright?"

"H-huh- what do you mean?"

"Well Yuki, all I gotta say is Congratulations first." He winked at Yukimura before kicking his horse.

"Wha??"

As he win the war and got back to his wife, he hug her tighter than before. "I heard that you got sick in the middle of the fight.. Are you hurt anywhere?"

"No.. Uhm.." He blushed. "H-hey."

"Hm?"

"Do you have something to tell me? Like.. You are pre-pregnant or something."

"My, honey..! Yes! I'm pregnant with our 2nd child..!" She giggled. "How did you know? Ah, I get it. You've forgotten your previous sickness when I'm pregnant right?"

"The first and the second one is different, okay??" He pouted before laughing with his beloved wife.

Sasuke

Kenshin circle his hands around his sword, glaring at his target with a smile curved on his lips. "Die, Sasuke..!" But then, he immediately halt when Sasuke turned around with maternity dress on his ninja costume.

"Just... What in hell you are wearing, Sasuke?"

"Kenshin-sama. It's time for 9 months break. I'm pregnant now. So red card~!" He said with his "enthusiastic" look.

"....It was your wife who is pregnant, not you."

"You are right. But the one who is- mmf-" He cupped his mouth. "Vomitting-" He swallowed, "..is me-"

For the very first time, Kenshin is dumbfounded. Not only his ninja is wearing a weird clothes, now he is hurling in front of him. "...Hmh fine. You are no fun at all."

"Hmm?" Kenshin look down to his torso. It was Sasuke eldest son. "Kenshin-sama, you may spar with me. As you can see, my father is pregnant, so you must allow him to have a rest."

"My son.. I'm proud of you." Sasuke feigning to wipe his 'tears'.

"...Fine. Let's go then." He took mini Sasuke by the hand (bawww - he has a soft spot for Sasuke's son tho) and his son give a thumbs up to his father. "Go ahead and rest, Father."

He thumbs up back with his usual poker face.

And back to his room..

"Anata, stop using my dress to escape from Kenshin. I know you are sick in my place but at least don't teach our son the wrong thing, okay?"

"Hmm MC you are no fun."

"Yeah, yeah." She giggled as she pulled her dress back from her husband.

[ikemenfics]

The Game

HAHA, YOU ALL LOST.  Happy Birthday, Mitsuhide.

Word Count:  3343 

Can you beat the Silver Fox of Azuchi at his own game?  Or do you make your own?  Based off his birthday event, Mitsuhide has asked you that you pay him back for all his teasing of you.  But is that really such a good idea, Mitsu?  MC is based more on a person like me...who couldn’t think possibly of a way to mess with someone the way he does…

(Now...what am I supposed to do with that??!)  You stared at the smirking fox.  Your insides were buzzing with nervous flustering and you weren’t sure you were going to survive this challenge of his.  (Honestly...this man...th-this...FOX)

And still he stared while your mental faculties fired in a panicked uproar.  (Is this what Sasuke feels like when he’s meeting with Ieyasu?)  You were certain your synapses were frying as a comet of energy was spelling out your imminent doom.

Snowy lashes lowered but his smile never changed, “Now.  I shall leave you.  I look forward to your results.”  And before you could even think to respond in kind, he was gone.  (Oh lord...what do I do?)  You found yourself moseying back to the castle, unaware that your visage reflected all the abject horror of your intended task.

“Dummy, what do you look so afraid of?”  You glanced up, finding green staring at you from a puff of fluffy blond locks, “Your face looks like Wasabi’s when she hears even the slightest sounds.”  His complaint was not lost on you.  (I do NOT look like a deer in headlights….do I?)

“What did you see?”  Hideyoshi’s voice was all concern, his hand already moving to his sword, staring at the offending whatever behind you.  “I’ll make the call to search the perimeter.  What did the intruder look like?” 

“N-no...nothing like that,” you waved your hands, feeling entirely too silly now that you got the concern of Azuchi’s mother warlord over something so silly as teasing Mitsuhide, “It’s just…”

“...Just…?” Hideyoshi prodded, his brows knit in a way that meant that someone was probably getting cuffed later.  That someone probably already smirking in the knowledge that said cuffing is most likely coming for him.  You started to feel bad for the slickest man in the Sengoku.  (this is why I can’t tease him…)

“Hey, Hideyoshi and Ieyasu,” you started, clapping your hands together in a pleading gesture, “what kinds of things does Mitsuhide dislike?”

“THAT’s what your stupid expression is for?”  Ieyasu was incredulous, at best.  You tried to smile, explaining that Mitsuhide’s birthday was coming and the challenge that he’d given you for his birthday wish.

“I’m not sure that guy dislikes anything,” Hideyoshi said, his profile still all one hundred percent seriousness.  His statement was followed by a muttered, “Except, maybe, honesty…”

You deflated.  It truly seemed you were given the impossible task.  You thanked that warlords, assuring Hideyoshi once more that nothing was amiss, save Mitsuhide’s birthday.

(I could feed him something bitter...oh wait...he doesn’t have taste buds, really.  I could make him a gaudy outfit...then again, he’d probably wear it and tell everyone just who made it...my Sengoku career would be ruined…) You ticked off and promptly shot down every idea that hit your head as you walked.  (If I could get close enough, I have hair chalk to turn his hair pink...IF I could get close enough...Maybe slip something into his sake, like he does Masamune?.....No, he’d catch on to that too quickly and turn it on me…)

You were still thinking when something warm and both soft and hard met your nose.  “Hey kitten,” the owner of the soft, warm, and also hard body all but purred at you, “keep walking like that and you’re going to have a very short life.”

Lifting your head, you were met with one amused sapphire eye.  Apologizing, you stepped back, Masamune making no move to put additional space between the two of you.  Instead, he grinned at you, “What’s got our lass looking so far away for?  Is he any good?”

You tried to ignore that, but your ears burned with heat anyway.  You looked away, attempting to compose yourself, “Hey, Masamune,” you finally muttered a greeting.

“Yo,” came the reply.  You glanced again, Masamune still smiling as if the world were little more than the greatest roller coaster ride.  “So, what’s got you looking the way my soldiers do when they’re about to spar against me?”

When you told him of Mitsuhide’s birthday wish, he laughed.  You were probably sure people in the town heard the volume of his mirth at your predicament.  (Thanks for the vote of confidence, my dude.)

“Sorry, sorry,” his apology was filled with barely controlled chuckles.  Your cheeks were so hot you were sure you could scorch something with them.  “Getting that guy is gonna be hard.  But I like this idea.  Whatcha got in mind, kitten?”

Now, there was the caveat, “Um...I can’t think of anything.  Is there anything he dislikes?”

“Yeah,” Masamune all but snorted, his eye full of amused concern for his fellow warlord, “his health.” “...I don’t think I can work with that…” you laughed back.

Masamune adjusted his pose, his mug taking on a look of contemplation, “I think the only thing Mitsuhide probably dislikes is being beaten at his own game…” Masamune commented.  

(Of course.  Now, let’s find out how to tackle such a task, mm?)  You chose not to say that out loud.

“Think he’d go for a sword fight?  I bet I could take him,” Masamune was busy musing away.

“You could,” you pointed out, “But I’m the one that’s supposed to be trying to beat him.”

“Hmm,” Masamune seemed to analyze you, “good point, lass.  But I’ll admit I’d pay to see you take him on.”

He reached, patting your head before walking away, “Whatever you come up with, kitten, will be good.  I’m sure he’ll appreciate anything you give him for his birthday.”  And with that cryptic statement, the whirlwind known as the One-Eyed Dragon had disappeared.

You sighed and went to your room.  Maybe you could make him a consolation haori if you couldn’t think of anything else.  You went fishing for your sewing notions, suddenly wishing you had the plush fabric you used to make Bearsace.  You searched your bag, looking for the picture you’d taken of the masterpiece, Nobunaga having taken the original.  Your hands found a rectangular object and you pulled it out, surprised when you found yourself staring at a package of sweets.

Your mind traveled 500 years into the future where this biscuit treat originated.  Recalling how people used them for everything from alternate candy cigarettes to cute romantic games.  You smiled at the nostalgia the oblong box had given you.  You remembered young couples, sneaking each other little moments of PDA using the little sticks.

(The Pocky Game….OMG THAT’S IT!) 

You hugged the precious pink box to your chest, elated that you had it.  Mitsuhide would never see it coming…(or he probably will but that’s not going to stop me!  Ok, but how are we gonna do that?  You gonna assault him?  That’ll be the day)  A deviant smile appeared as proverbial horns grew from your head (No...I’m gonna do this…)

“You realize every year Hideyoshi does the same and he never attends,” cinnamon orbs stared at you and you did everything you could not to shuffle while they bored holes into you, “what makes you think this will be different?  Because you’re doing it?”

“No...because…” you did your best to show a placating smile, “you’re going to?”

“Oh?”  his brow arched and you thought to yourself just how handsome the Fool of Owari was.  Too bad a fox snatched you a long time ago.  “I gather you have some sort of plan for this occasion that I’m not yet aware of?”

You told him your idea.  Of everyone in this era, only Nobunaga was privy to the details of where you came from and how you ended up in this wartorn era.  You discussed what Pocky was and the game that you could play with the cookie-esque treat.  You even showed him the unopened box so he could see the confectionary in question.

He smiled, The Devil King’s horns probably matching your own.  “Hoh, I think I like this idea.  BUT…” his features turned serious and your heart nearly dropped into the floor, “I demand these pocky as payment”

(WHAT, NO!) You panicked, “B-but!  I need them for the game!”

Nobunaga smirked, looking boyish and you were sure many a maid and warrior fell for it every single time, “But you only need one, right?  For the game, you said?  Did I hear wrong?”

The question set off warning bells in your head, “N-no…” you conceded to the first unifier, “But if you take them, I won’t have them for the party…” you tried to argue.  You already knew at this point, trying to win over Oda Nobunaga was futile, but dammit you needed this for your plan!

“Don’t worry about that, fireracker,” the man assured, raising the box in what could only be called schadenfreude which made you very very worried, “you’ll have your game with Mitsuhide.  I will handle everything.  You may go.”

You stepped out, your mind reeling.  It was great that Mitsuhide’s lord was on your side, but what did that devil man plan to do?  (How is it that I went to the devil for the sake of outsmarting the fox?)  Alas, there was nothing you could do for the moment but wait and see what Nobunaga had in store for Mitsuhide’s special event.

The answer came in the form of a missive the day of Mitsuhide’s birthday.  You read it, almost cackling at the contents, “Ok sir.”

You found the birthday boy walking the halls, “Mitsuhide, can you come with me?”

He arched his brow but agreed to come.  You were sure by the look on his face that he was expecting some great prank.  What he got instead…

“SURPRISE!”

“I was misinformed of a war council today,” Mitsuhide was saying, his body already moving to excuse himself.

“NOT SO FAST,” you cried, holding up the weapon Nobunaga had given you.  “Today, Akechi Mitsuhide, I am determined to make you stay and enjoy your birthday.  As chatelaine, I have that authority.”  You beamed in triumph.

The celebration went by, Masamune serving food and Hideyoshi trying to control the sweets intake.  People chatted and drink flowed.  And yet…

Mitsuhide sat in his own lonely place, quietly taking in his sake.  (Well, we can’t be having that!)  You were about to move towards him when you remembered, (oh yeah...Nobunaga took my coup de grâce)  Your gaze traveled to the red gems, only to find they were watching you too.  As if on some unspoken cue, Nobunaga called for you, “Come, chatelaine, pour me a drink!”  

You took your place next to Nobunaga, pouring him some sake.  You dared a glance at the hall, finding golden eyes watching you.  Your heart sank at that, knowing that despite your plan to get him to enjoy his birthday and give him a special piece of your world, that Nobunaga’s command sadly had to come first.  

“Look at him. Notice he’s watched you all night?” Nobunaga was murmuring, his voice and countenance every inch the warlord he was.  You didn’t dare look at Mitsuhide again, but you shook your head anyway, noting that his mask was always unreadable to you.  Nobunaga huffed, “He always watches people, but he’s never so obvious about it.  I would know, he’s been with me for a long time.”  You glanced at the Lord of Azuchi, wondering what he was getting at.  

He slipped something out of his robes, a pink frosted stick was then placed between his lips as he looked at you.  (Oh no….nonononono...that was meant for him.  Mayday mayday) Your eyes widened at the man as he ridiculously smirked around the stick.

“Let’s see about this game of yours,” Nobunaga looked at you expectantly and you had to work really hard not to let the pricks in your vision lead to actual tears.  You leaned forward, nipping a small piece of the pocky, your eyes never leaving his all to smug ones.  You took a second nip, then a third, almost to his lips.

“Nobunaga-sama!” Hideyoshi cried.  (Is it bad I’m disappointed it’s him that stopped this?  Though...I *am* glad it stopped…) You and Nobu turned, a tiny bit of pocky still sticking out of his mouth.  “I know that’s a sweet.  Please, my lord, your health…” You felt so bad for the poor man always having to worry over everyone.  (It’s likened to being the mother of five unruly children.)

“How do you know it’s a sweet, Hideyoshi?” Came the challenging question.

Hideyoshi blanched, “Mitsuhide mentioned it.  He lied, didn’t he?  That son of a-”

“He’s not wrong,” Nobunaga was saying, the final bit of the baked good disappearing as he chewed thoughtfully.  “Though, konpeito is sweeter.  This wasn’t so bad.”  His eyes found yours while butterflies did a number in your stomach, “I thank you for these.  Your payment.”  He handed you a singular stick and you took it with numb fingers, nodding to the man.  “I believe a certain someone is waiting.”

With that, you strode towards the someone in question.  You didn’t dare look up while you walked, unsure you wanted to see what Mitsuhide’s face might say.  You sat next to the silver fox, staring far too hard at the cup set that had mysteriously appeared.  (Why does he have two cups if he’s drinking alone?)

“Little seamstress,” he voice brought you out of your reverie, “if you stare any harder at the china, I will have to replace it.  Hideyoshi will throw a fuss.  It’ll be quite amusing, but I fear for anything else you might set that scary look on.”

You looked up, finding Mitsuhide uncharacteristically serious.  The man who could always smile was definitely not smiling at you.  Your heart hammered as you were struck dumb by what you were seeing.

The look was gone, the familiar smile settling in its place before you could even attempt to analyze it, “It is evening and my birthday is near over, Princess.”  His grin turned what you considered deadly when given to his enemies and yet your cheeks heated all the same.  “Where’s my birthday gift, hmm?  Or was your game with my lord my gift?  I admit, it was something to watch.”

(SHAAAAAAME) Your mind called and your hands shook.  (Now or never…) You tried to smile, sure you looked more like, how did Ieyasu put it, like Wasabi hearing uncertain noises?  You shook your head, denying Mitsuhide’s claim, “No…” you breathed, constricting lungs making normal speech impossible at this point, “my gift is...this!”

You stuck the stick in your mouth and all but dove for the man.  Your lips pushing the other end of the pocky into his with the force of your movements.  He own did open, which made you thankful (This would have been horrid if he didn’t open his mouth and the stick broke) but teeth had you stopping before the poor game could continue and you choked the poor guy (That’s ok...I can play this game too).

You pressed your advantage, taking bites all down the stick until warm wetness met your lips.  They didn’t return your kiss but you stayed there, just enjoying the feel of him.  Your world narrowed to the man in front of you so you didn’t hear the cheers that erupted in your moment.  You were sure you’d probably have died if you did. Eventually, though, you had to back away, sneaking in a glance to the Warlord of the Bellflower.  

His appearance...was not amused.  You winced, lowering your head.  (Did I go too far?  I should say something).  You were about to apologize when you were swept up by a nighttime storm.  “Ey, lass!”  Masamune cheered, pulling you to him, “Interesting game.  Wanna play with me?”  You hesitated, shaking your head, explaining you had no more sticks.  Masamune considered, “I’ll swipe one.  Gimme a minute.”

“You will not!”  Hideyoshi called and a cacophony of noise arose as warlords discussed your game, you kissing Mitsuhide, commentary on Mitsuhide’s mien, and Mitsuhide did seem to be a lot happier with you around.  Your whole body was surely scarlet at how the subject jumped from Masamune wanting to steal you away to suddenly Mitsuhide looking like a happier man.

You tried to look over to him, finding his spot empty.  (Where did…?)  You untangled yourself from Flirty McEyepatch and slipped out of the party.  You didn’t see where he’d gone and it took some wandering, but you found him outside, staring at the autumn leaves.

“Mitsuhide…” you called, feeling unsure.  His head turned towards yours, his expression careful and unreadable.  You approached, standing next to him.  The silence was awkward, so you turned your gaze towards the leaves, “The leaves finished turning…” you said.

“They are more vibrant,” came the reply.  You stood and just viewed the trees, the chill wind kicking up sparks of red and yellow to dance.

“I’m sorry,” you said after a moment.  “I’d thought a game like that would be perfect for you…” Thinking back, you decided that it had been silly and pushed boundaries.  Something you shouldn’t have done.  “I hadn’t meant to-”

Mitsuhide’s fingers pressed to your lips, making your words die before they could be uttered.  You flushed, looking up into topaz crystals.  Mitsuhide’s portrait had taken an intense edge to it, but you still couldn’t quite read what it was saying.  His thumb trailed across your mouth, making you whimper involuntarily.

“Congratulations,” Mitsuhide murmured, his voice blank and controlled, “I must say I did not expect that.”

His nail scraped over your already swollen bottom lip, drawing another low sound from you.  His facade didn’t change as his finger teased at you, almost as if he were experimenting with your reactions to the stimuli he’d placed on you.  You pursed, attempting to kiss the offending appendage, only for him to change tactics, his fingers not leaving your mouth, just you unable to snag him.

“I fell for your trap, little mouse,” he was quiet, but his voice held a low note of something you were too afraid to identify, “but what had you done if I had not agreed to come with you?  It would have been so disappointing for you to have failed.  You’ll need a better plan for the future.”

(Yeah...not sure I can pull that again…) You didn’t seem to fully catch his words, tone, and eyes but your heart fluttered all the same.  In answer to his question, you handed him the missive Nobunaga had sent to you.  Mitsuhide took it, his fingers leaving you cold where his absence was pointedly felt, and read the missive.

Akechi Mitsuhide.  You laid hands on the woman I found.  To answer for such a deed, I demand that you attend a celebration in honor of your birthday.  I am certain such an event is a punishment fit for you.  Do not dare defy me.

Mitsuhide’s vision found you again, clearly nonplussed.  You pressed your lips together, watching him carefully.

“I’ve laid my hands on you have I?” He said, his smiling slowly returning, “That doesn’t sound like such a bad idea.”

His hands reached for your arms, capturing you effectively in their grip, and pulled you towards him.  He leaned in, your heart thrilling at what was to come.  You closed your lids, puckering up in excitement.

Warmth brushed your forehead leaving your lashes to flutter open in confusion.  A smirking kitsune met you, “Did you expect a kiss?  I’ll have to reserve that for next time.”  His head moved close to yours, his breath ghosting over your face, “If you understand, then please do as you wish every day and every birthday,” your heart hammered, “when you try and leave, I’ll just continue to capture you like this again and again, as always.”

Mitsuhide released you and bid you goodnight.  Once he was alone and far away, his features softened though sadness filled his eyes, “Except, I am unsure just who the captured one here is…I do not desire to be like this, dear one, but it seems I’ve no choice but to say I am in love with you.”

[kekeslider]

so whats your take on the catra/adora situation

I have a lot of thoughts about this and I’m gonna just unload them all below the cut bc this is gonna get kind of meta-y and pretty discourse-y, and I know a lot of people are trying to avoid that right now. The long n short of it is that I still like the ship.

I’m actually a little baffled by how much people don’t like this pairing now. It all basically comes down to the belief that Catra is abusive towards Adora, but people seem to be conveniently leaving out that Catra has been abused by the Horde as much as Adora. I’d actually argue that Catra’s abuse was harsher, while Adora was the favored child. That’s not to say that Adora wasn’t abused, because she obviously was, but there are different kinds of abusive situations, and in homes with multiple children, there’s often one that the parent/guardian clearly favors and manipulates and the other that gets the brunt of the abuse. Adora was manipulated and lied to and who knows what else, while Catra was physically threatened and harmed, emotionally abused, and pitted against Adora, her own best friend. They have different experiences, and Catra’s experiences have clearly led to the survival instincts she has now. I’ll also point out that members of the crew have stated that Catra’s portrayal is influenced by their own experiences with abuse (source). So flatout saying Catra is abusive and Adora needs to cut ties and leave her rubs me the wrong way. I think Catra is on course for a big redemption arc, because I think people who have been in abusive situations themselves want to tell stories of abuse victims overcoming it.

So that’s sort of the basics of Catra and Adora’s abuse by the Horde, and people have ended up saying, well Adora got out, why can’t Catra? First I’d like to point out the irony of the fandom pitting Catra and Adora against each other in the same way Shadow Weaver did, holding Catra to Adora’s standard. But what makes Adora and Catra different here? There could be a lot of things, you could get into discussions about nature vs nurture, you could argue that Adora has an inherent goodness because she was destined to be She-ra or whatever. But in the end I think it comes down to the different ways they experienced abuse in the Horde. Adora got to switch to the side of good because she thought she was on the good side all along, that’s what the Horde convinced her of, and she didn’t know anything outside of what the Horde told her. Then she also had Shadow Weaver favoring her, and the respect of her superiors and peers, so her life in the Horde was, comparatively, not that bad. But Catra knew it was bad. I’ve seen people calling Catra evil based on her duh, you just figured that out? line. But doesn’t it make sense that Catra knew she was being abused, because she was being treated so much harsher than Adora was? It was in her face all the time, but like Adora, she didn’t know anything beyond the Horde. Abuse was her norm, and she developed certain survival instincts because of that.

But Adora offered Catra a way out right? And Catra knowingly refused, so Catra is evil, right?? This is where I think Catra’s character gets extra complex, because it starts delving into the psychology of abuse victims, and one of the things that’s pretty well known is that abuse victims will often refuse to leave their situation, even when given the chance. That’s what abusers do, they make their victims afraid to leave the stability of their situation, no matter how awful it is. The devil you know, yanno? Adora wasn’t exactly offering Catra safety, she was offering her the chance to join a weak rebellion against the group that was conquering the world, a rebellion which massively failed the last time it was attempted. And leaving the Horde, and then losing? That would make Catra’s situation so much worse.

There’s a lot you can get into with Catra’s motivations throughout the season, but I’ll leave the deep details to Catra-specific character metas. I sussed out 3 big motivations for her from my 1 viewing at the asscrack of dawn.

1. She’s being forced to act against Adora by Shadow Weaver, the woman who has directly abused her her whole life

2. She wants to take down Shadow Weaver as a form of revenge and surpass her in the process

3. She want to prove to everyone in the Horde that she’s powerful and capable without Adora around (reminder that Adora said displays of weakness were a no-no at the Horde, so it stands to reason that being the best and most powerful is a goal ingrained into them as cadets) because Catra has been pitted against and compared to Adora her whole life (this ties in to Catra’s sidekick remark).

None of this excuses her actions, but it does explain her backstory and allows the viewer to get inside Catra’s head and understand why she does the things she does. It deliberately paints her as a sympathetic villain, because you understand her, and it makes you want to root for her.

Catra being sympathetic is a big thing to me, because it’s done on purpose. They’ve planted the seeds for a big redemption arc, one that may run the course of the show, and that’s something I want to see happen. A well done redemption arc is incredible to watch play out. And I’ll remind everyone that the crew has pretty openly loved Catra as a character, and they’re very invested in her as a character, and I personally don’t see how a crew with abuse victims on their staff would create an abusive character and then care about her so much. That goes double for catradora, they’re all interested in them as a duo and post art and content that toes very closely to the line of ship art, and I can’t see abuse victims creating a show just to ship a character with her abuser.

When it comes to Catra and catradora, there’s a few big important things I think people are ignoring.

- Catra has all the groundwork for a bigass redemption arc. It’s something fans have been expecting and hoping for since the first info about the show was released

- In order to get a redemption arc, she needs to do something that needs redeeming. Think of season 1 as Catra’s villain origin story. A redemption arc has no payoff if we don’t see their misdeeds. But Catra’s misdeeds aren’t a case of Cool motive, still murder, because nothing she’s done so far has such long lasting effects. She attacked some people with the Horde, of course, but also keep in mind that this is a kids show, where things like that have to be exaggerated so kids can see that they’re doing Bad Things (remember that time Zuko burned down a whole village, kidnapped Aang, attacked them all multiple times? And he has THE redemption arc every other one is compared to)

- This is only the first season! There’s so much story left to tell, maybe more backstory for Catra, more flashbacks detailing her experiences, etc etc. There’s something like 39 episodes still guaranteed to come, and I’m not expecting season 4 Catra to be the same as season 1 Catra. She’s going to change, her relationship to Adora is going to change, and I want that change to be positive. That’s a big draw for catradora: positive character development

- The crew has stated multiple times that Catra and Adora’s friendship/relationship is very central to the story, and that definitely shows in s1. Telling people not to like this ship is telling them to not fully engage with one of the show’s main foci (and there are definitely positive moments within all the hurt we see. They love each other, in an environment that doesn’t want them to)

- I haven’t seen a single person say that Catra and Adora’s relationship as is would be healthy and perfect. Everyone knows they have stuff to work through. What I have seen is people caring about both of them as characters and friends, people who love each other and deserve to be happy. People WANT a redemption arc for Catra, and they’re shipping Redeemed!Catra/Adora. They’re looking ahead down the path of character development and hoping it leads to romance, because it very well could. One of the big reasons people latch on to ships like this is that it has so so much room for growth and development, for them as individuals, and them as a pair. I know it’s illegal to talk about vo/tron, but you can compare it to people who shipped k/ance and a//urance after season 1. Neither had healthy romantic dynamics in the first season, but people were looking forward to growth and development, and shipping that. The whole point is that you want to see characters grow together. Development is half the point of storytelling. Romantic ships where they basically start out all happy and good are dull because they don’t have the same space for character growth and development. They’re static, they’re boring.

- The crew of the show likes catradora! They care so much about these two characters and their bond, and I don’t see a crew of LGBT people making a romantically coded dynamic between 2 female characters, hyping it up, creating content of the two of them, just to have one be an evil abuser

This is also where I’ll point out that many other antagonistic characters have been much beloved by the fandom and part of majorly popular ships

- Zuko: Zutara & Zukka

- Bakugo: Kiribaku

- Sasuke: Sasunaru or w/e it is

And you’ll notice these are moooostly m/m ships, and people still stan them to this day. But catradora of course is f/f, and we know f/f ships are subjected to much higher criticism than m/m pairings. In fact, the defense for Zuko and Bakugo is their traumatic abuse backstory, so the same should apply for Catra.

I’m also going to say, at great risk to myself, that I think the discourse around this ship is mostly happening because the current She-ra fandom is largely made of of (ex) v/d fans, where discourse was basically a hobby. And for good reason, there was a lot of dumpster fires in that fandom and show, but I think it’s resulted in people coming into this fandom just chomping at the bit to jump on some discourse and be the most Unproblematic and Self-Righteous. Am I basically vaguing myself by saying that? Yeah, kinda, but I’ll have to stand by it. We’ve seen so little of this show and people are already making major decisions about what’s ok and what’s not because they’re coming off of a fandom with a pretty shitty crew, and they’re expected to be hurt again. But the She-ra crew isn’t the v/d crew, and they deserve the benefit of the doubt.

This got really rambly and stuff but the point is, I like catradora. I want to see them grow and heal and love each other, because I care about both characters. It isn’t about shipping an angsty abusive ship, it’s about wanting them to find each other again without the toxic influence of the Horde.