#like she’s got to call him on his bs bc he keeps pretending not to care as much as she does abt what happens to him

[somewherefornow]

LOIS LANE & BRUCE WAYNE in JUSTICE LEAGUE (2016)

[faithinthefuture28]

Larry songs timeline & what it tells us about the evolution of their relationship

**These are all just my interpretations but the more I listen to the music they wrote, the more it all fits together. ESPECIALLY BECAUSE THROUGHOUT THE YEARS THEY’VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT WRITING “AUTOBIOGRAPHICALLY” AND “FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE”

I deffo missed some songs but these stood out to me:

2013

L-Strong: Love isn’t easy (waves trying to break it) but what we have means something and it’s worth fighting for. read: love is only for the brave (Think of how much love that’s been wasted...there’s nothing i’m running from...i don’t care, I’m not scared of love) And we bring out the best in each other so lets not throw this away (i’d do anything to save it...when i’m not with you i’m weaker). 

H-Happily: I want to fight for us too bc we’re on fire and our love is powerful af. ik we have to do stunts and stuff (and if (s)he feels my traces in your hair, sorry love but I don’t really care) but what we have is insane and fuck everyone else bc you’re MINE and i’m YOURS at the end of the day (i wanna be the one who holds you when you sleep). Together, we’re magic so just be with me so happily

H-Something Great: ****this song is very straightforward so i won’t explain it much***** (i want you here with me like how i pictured it so i dont have to keep imagining... We’re better off together here tonight). Written as a longing for what could be if they dont have to suppress the relationship. (script was written...want to rip it all to shreds) Louis’ response (you’re all I want so much it’s hurting) basically says “it’s not too much to ask babe, i want it too.” This has the kind of longing that ‘wouldn’t it be nice- beach boys’ which Harry has admitted is kind of a theme song. 

L-Through the Dark: I know all this bs we’re going through is taking a toll on you and hurts you and i hate seeing you upset (you tell me that your sad...you tell me that you’re hurt and youre in pain and i can see your head is held in shame...i just wanna see you smile again) but I will do everything physically possible to protect you from any pain bb (i’d never let you fall and break your heart, if u wanna cry or fall apart, i’ll be there to hold ya). We’re going through this together and I will take on any responsibility needed to keep you happy.  I’M WILLING TO GO THROUGH HELL TO FIGHT FOR US HARRY LOVE (entire chorus basically).

L-Better than Words: holy fuck our love is amazing can’t even describe it can i just sing to you foreva love u babycakes

L-Why don’t we go there: what if...we just forgot about the world and escaped and enjoyed each others love and rode the high??? Also sex

2014

L-Ready to Run: *******Followup to Why Don’t We Go There*********** But this time let’s escape for real bc (there’s me inside a sinking boat running out of time). Like i’m ready to get out of here and it could just be us living happily ever after (this time i’m ready to run). Honestly nothing else makes sense (without you i’ll never make it out alive...wherever you are is the place i belong). I know what i want out of life and IT’S YOU HARREH (i want to be free and i wanna be yours, i will never look back). 

L-Steal My Girl: all u thirsty hoes find someone else bc Harry is MY pretty princess. Srsly ask his family. But you can still admire how he looks in those jeans. We all do. You know the ones

L-No Control: boy u fine, let’s do what lovers do IN THE MORNING. bc we can. also you own me and i am urs

L-Clouds: WE KNEW THIS WAS GONNA BE HARD SO WHY ARE YOU BEING A LITTLE BITCH (you dont like it complicated...but love is never ever simple...you are tired of all the changes, but love is always always changing). We could be great yo, just keep fighting (if we’re never coming back down, we’ll looking down on the clouds...we go and we go and we dont stop)

H-Where do Broken Hearts Go: IM SORRY LOU BABY YOURE EVERYTHING (rest of my crimes dont come close the look on your face when i let you go... the taste of your lips...is at the top of the list of things i want). H&L’s call and  response at the end is basically forgiveness and acknowledgment (come on baby come and get me out, come on baby cuz i need you now)

H-Two Ghosts: *****was written around this time according to Harry******. This is fucking hard yo. We’re drained and exhausted and idk how much more we can fight for this... (it’s not you and it’s not me...sounds like something that i used to feel). That infatuation and electricity and hope that fueled our younger selves isn’t really there anymore and i’m just tired man (we’re just two ghosts swimming in a glass half empty, trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat, we’re not who we used to be...this was all we used to need). We’re empty vessels going through the motions (same eyes blue, couple more tattoos). AND WE AREN’T FUCKING COMMUNICATING (we dont say what we really mean). 

2015

H&L-Perfect: so what if... we get rid of the pressure of forever? What if we just have fun doing the stupid shit we love and makes us feel alive (trouble up in hotel rooms, secret little rendezvous, things you know that we shouldn’t do). Like we won’t be out of each others’ lives, I’m still around and we can find comfort in each other and even mess around here and there (I can be the one you love from time to time). Remember how we used to be young and EXCITED (when i first saw you from across the room, i could tell that you were curious) let’s get that energy back without the responsiblity of an adult relationship. And we can keep making art lmao (if youre looking for someone to write your breakup songs about). 

L-Long Way Down *****this song fkn hurts man. It’s overlooked a lot but shows so much insight**** We were...everything. And maybe that’s the problem? We’ve been through so fucking much, more than anyone our age should have to endure. (We've been in fire, Went down in the flames. We sailed the ocean And drowned in the waves. Built a cathedral But we never prayed) We didn’t know what we had. We were damn kids man. We weren’t prepared for all this. We didn’t know how powerful this would be. We didn’t know what it required of us. (We had a mountain But took it for granted. We had it all yeah. Who could’ve planned it). We didn’t know what to do with it, how to deal with it, so here we are. (We had a spaceship But we couldn't land it) We’re each other’s everything, but we can’t keep going on like this babe. (We found an island But we got stranded). I don’t want to leave you but being together is breaking us down. (Point of no return and now It's just too late to turn around) We thought we were untouchable. That love conquers all. Maybe, we were wrong. This is gonna hurt like a bitch (We built it up so high and now I'm fallin', it’s a long way down)

H-Olivia: I LIVE FOR YOU, I LONG FOR YOU, I LOVE YA. And i think i’ll always love ya. And I’m scared...of life without you (i get the feeling you’re walking out, time is irrelevant when i’ve not been seeing you, the consequences are falling now, there’s something i’m having nightmares about...dont let me go). But maybe just maybe thats okay, because you’re AIMH (you live in my imagination...i love you, it’s all i do). 

L-Love you Goodbye: I fucking love you and I’ll always fucking love you but i think this is the right thing to do even though it feels so wrong (i know there’s nothing i can do to change it, but is there something that can be negotiated?) We made some goddamn fireworks together though (unforgettable together held the whole world in our hands) and do ya maybe think...we can make them just once more? (if tomorrow you wont be mine, let me give it to you one last time, baby let me love you goodbye...one more taste of your lips just to bring me back to the places we’ve been and the nights we’ve had because if this is it, then at least we could end it riiiiight). ********in the interview with our FAVE Gwen Garcia, she asked if it’s better to say goodbye and end a relationship that’s not feeling right or keep trying even if your heart’s not in it. Harry responds with “I think it’s better to say goodbye...but sometimes if youre trying to protect..” Then Louis cuts him off and says “you’re going deep aren’t you”, brushing the question off as a joke but imho i think there was pain in that answer. Then Harry continues “if you’re not 100% in it, I think it’s better for both parties if you say goodbye”. And Louis adds a “yeah” at the end.********

H-Walking in the Wind: I know this is scary but i think we can do it, (you said to me do you believe i’ll be too far? if youre lost just look for me you’ll find me) I think because youre AIMH and i’m always in yours, it’ll be good for us. And look at us being mature, we’re killing it babe. We can live our separate lives and grow on our own. We dont need to make it messy and hurtful. We’re on the same page. (the fact that we can sit right here and say goodbye means we’ve already won. A necessity for apologies between you and me, baby there is none). At this point, we’re kinda part of each other right? So it’s healthy for us to be apart for a bit. (it’s not the end, i’ll see your face again... i know we’ll be alright...just close your eyes and see i’ll be by your side any time you need me). And you’ve helped me grow into the person I am, and I you, so that’s cool as hell, right? (you will find me in places that we’ve never been). We had a TON of fun (we had some good times didnt we) so i feel okay that we’re doing this (goodbyes are bittersweet) and starting the next adventure in our lives. 

H-If I could fly: I. am. yours. Louis. William. Tomlinson. (for your eyes only, i’ll show you my heart). Maybe this growth thing isn’t worth it, let me prove to you how much you mean to me (i think i might give up everything just ask me to). This is gonna be hard as shit because i’m so dependent on you (i’m missing half of me when we’re apart). I’m being honest and I’m being scared and I’m being vulnerable because I can’t lie to you and pretend I’m strong (i let my guard down, right now i’m completely defenseless). But we’re part of each other, right? (i could feel your heart inside of mine). I’ll always be here for you Lou (for when you’re lonely and forget who you are) even if for now we can’t physically be together. 

L-Home: I’ve tried, Harry. I’ve tried to play pretend (told myself i kind of like her but there was something missin in her eyes). But i was lost (i was stumblin, lookin in the dark with an empty heart) because none of it was enough, none of it was YOU (it was there i sawr it in your eyes). And then i met you and you felt the same and we’re both lost souls playing pretend who found magic in each other (but you say you feel the same, could we ever be enough?) Is our love enough to overcome everything? Maybe we can be enough. Maybe I can make this enough, let me try to make it enough for you. And if we go our separate ways, know that I’m here for you no matter what. I won’t let you be lost again. (When you’re lost I’ll find a way and I’ll be your light, you will never feel like you’re alone, I’ll make this feel like home). So go. wander. find yourself. Then when you’re ready, come home. 

 2016-2017

H- Sweet Creature: ***Harry admit that this was the first song he wrote for the album**** We aren’t in the best place rn. We’ve been fighting (had another talk about where it’s going wrong...it’s hard when we argue, we’re both stubborn). But it’s you Louis. It can’t be anyone else. (don’t know where we’re going but we know where we belong... wherever I go, you bring me home). That’s not even a question. I’m still trying to figure out who I am, but the one thing I know is that a large part of who I am is you (we started 2 hearts in one home). And aint no way I’m losing that part of myself (when i run out of road, you bring me home). It was always you. 

H-MMITH: Whenever you’re ready, I’m ready (just let me know i’ll be at the door,  hoping you’ll come around). I know I need to work on myself a little more (i gotta get better, and maybe we’ll work it out) but honestly i’m getting impatient and i want things to go back to how they were and i want to be yours again (once you go without it, nothing else would do). But I can’t communicate this to you clearly so let me just put this in a song and hope you get it (we dont talk about it, it’s something we dont do) ****Harry mentioned in an interview that he expresses himself through songwriting when he can’t say the words directly to a person because it’s easier to just write it in a song than have difficult conversations*****

H-ESNY: ****honestly no idea what this song is about but it’s something to do with them fighting and not communicating and being in a weird place before their relationship is rekindled******* edit: this could be about his stepdad

H-FTDT: I MISS YOU AND I’M TOO FULL OF PRIDE TO TELL YOU DIRECTLY JUST COME BACK INTO LIFE LOU I’M LONELY AND SAD AND EMPTY AND IM NOT FUCKING FINDING MYSELF LIKE YOU SAID I WOULD (woke up alone, played with myself where were you...we havent spoke since you went away, why wont you ever say what you wanna say) So until then I sit and wait for your sorry ass to make the first move (maybe one day you’ll call me and tell me that you’re sorry too...but you never do). Also like i have to hear from other people how you are?? (i saw your friend that you know from work, he said that you feel just fine) ANd you’re sharing OUR clothes with people?? wtf just swallow your pride and call me 

L-Miss You: OKAY BUT I CANT JUST CALL YOU BECAUSE I HAVE PRIDE TOO also my mates are trying to make me get over you (now i’m asking my friends how to say I’m sorry, they say lad give it ttime there’s no need to worry, and we can’t even be on the phone now). So i’m just numbing your absence with partying and drinks but CLEARLY ITS NOT WORKING (should be laughing but there’s something wrong...shit maybe i miss you...when i feel it coming up i just throw it all away, get another few shots cuz it doesn’t matter anyway...such a good time, i’ll believe it this time). This is weird bc like you were my everything but im trying to get used to this and it fucking sux (oh how shit changes, we were in love, now we’re strangers). And tbh, its scary af bc what if this is it (i’m asking myself, is it over?). BUT ALSO LIKE WTF U COULD REACH OUT FIRST YA KNOW (i’ve been checking my phone all evening).

H-Anna: wtf Louis how do you not see how much this is killing me. I miss you so much and seeing you on tv or in pics drives me wild bc you’re not mine. (I don’t want your sympathy but you don’t know what you do to me...everytime I see your face there’s only so much I can take...I guess it would be nice if I can touch your body). And idk if you’re replacing me (don’t know where you’re laying, just know it’s not with me) and we’re in SUCH a weird place rn how do I tell u you’re the loml (don’t know what I’d say if I passed you on the street...don’t know what I’d tell you if you asked me for the truth) so I refuse to put this song on the album and let you know this and give you satisfaction from knowing how gone I still am for you bc I have 0 idea how you feel (hope you never see this and know that it’s for you)

L-Always You: SO THIS IS ME SWALLOWING MY PRIDE STANDING IN FRONT OF YOU SAYING IM SORRY FOR THAT NIGHT... ok but fr i miss u i miss u i miss u i miss u and nothing else compares like i can travel the whole world and all i think about is how much more fun it was with you and the memories we shared and i wish i could just say thx fr th mmrs and move on but actually no thx actually fuck you for making me not able to enjoy my life without you. So like...come home? and wrap your legs around me? also lmao i took El to a gay bar in amsterdam for her bday lmao i miss u come cuddle me and i’ll tell you all about it

L-We Made It: looks like we made it, look how far we’ve come my baby. They saidd I bett they’ll never make it, but just look at us holding onn, we’re still togetherr, still going stronggg. Also to the fans, miss our single bed and the nights we talked about our dreams :-* also Andrew my man luv u

2018-2019

L-KMM: our love was youthful and exhilarating and fucking electric and i think it still can be. dont know what i’d do without you now H 

L-DLIBYH: We’re strong babe and we’ve grown and we aren’t gonna let life drag us down. I’m doing better, you’re doing better, this is what we wanted. And now any shit we go through, we’ll go through TOGETHER 

L-Too Young: Okay but looking back, that was a lot of shit we went through and we were just babies and i’m sorry for not fighting harder (i cant believe i gave in to the pressure when they said a love like this would never last so i cut you off cuz i didnt know no better) baby i tried, i tried to protect you but like it was just so much and i hate that you got hurt and i wont ever let that happen again. ALso go us for being mature and COMMUNICATING (face to face at the kitchen table, we can finally have a conversation that I wish we could’ve had before). ANd i know you’re an arrogant son of a bitch who can’t admit when he’s sorry so here let ME say i’m sorry that i hurt you darling. Like we were too young to know we had everything BUT now we’re old(er) and can realize that when we’re together, we DO have everything now and omg is this our happily ever after and we can have a daughter and name her Darcy 

L-Habit: do i need to spell it out for you iiiiii aaaaaaaaammmmmmm sssssssoooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyy. But tbh i let you go because it felt right because mentally you were already out the door and i needed to give you room to grow babe. And i needed the space too (you gave me the time and the space i was out of control and i’m sorry i let you down). but like also i’ve learned i can’t escape you Styles. You’re always in my fucking heart and my fucking mind and in every essence of my being and somehow I knew that 9 years ago and it took me this long to realize how powerful this really is (guess that that i know what i already knew, i was better with you and i miss you now). Ooooh also my favorite line i wrote (took some time cuz i ran out of energy of playing someone I heard I’m supposed to be and honestly i dont have to choose anymore) like who am i kidding, im done pretending i just wanna be yoursss now

L-Defenseless: I can’t help it okay theres something about you that doesn’t let me stay away. I need you and I know that rekindling this relationship isn’t going to be easy even though it feels so so right. It’s going to be hard work (sleeping on our problems but we’ll solved them in our dreams, wake up early morning and it’s still under the sheets) and we need to communicate and solve our problems but here I am, raw and unfiltered and emotionally naked in front of you ready to lay it all on the table (not sure how to say this right, got so much to lose. NEver been so defenseless). So like this branch I’m reach out to you and you be honest with me too babe (you dont have to keep on being strong for me and you. Acting like you feel no pain, you know i know you do...I can’t get inside, when you’re lost in your pride but you don’t have a thing to prove). Be open with me. Lets talk. Let’s solve problems. Lets have an adult relationship. I’m asking for a little vulnerabiltiy babe. It’s just me. Theres nothing to be scared of

L-Walls: And here you have me in my purest form. No lies, no secrets, no insecurities to hide behind. Losing you was fucking painful but i got through it. I’ve been through hell and back and I’ve fought. And without you, I grew into the person I am. And any further growing i’m doing is gonna be with you. bc it was all for you babe. and honestly i can take anything life throws at me now. I’m strong baby. I’m fucking strong and fucking brave and fucking resilient and...fucking yours. ***** wtf is the I just hope i see you one day and you’ll say to me oh oh********

H-Golden: You are the literal sun and I’m not ready. YOU’RE SUCH A GOOD PERSON (you were way too bright for me, i’m hopeless, broken, so you wait for me in the sky). I’m scared to go through this alone, I need your comfort and your guidance (i can feel you take control of who i am and all i’ve ever known). But you’re scared to go through this with me bc you dont wanna get hurt and i’m too open so where tf does that leave us. ******this could be about coming out especially with the London AND NY secret shows where Harry added the lyric I’m hoping someday you’ll open*******

H-Adore You: You dont have to say you love me, you dont have to say nothing, you dont have to say you’re mine. I’d walk through fire for you. Just let me adore Lou. Like its the only thing I’ll ever do. read: Louis is a great person to just admire what he’s like. ALso I dont need anything back. I just dont want to hide my love for you anymore. I don’t need answers or promises. Just let me adore you. ********the music video is also basically a Louis appreciation post. He was the boy with the smile that the world took away from him. He found Harry lost and loved him and nurtured him and made him confident and allowed him to be who he wanted to be. But in doing so, Harry became big and unsatisfied and wanted to explore the world and was clearly interested in Hollywood and Rockstardom especially evident in his behavior 2014-2015. And Louis wasn’t about that life and didn’t want to hold him back. So he let him free. But they realized that they don’t work apart. Wherever they’re going, they’re going together, as the boy sails into the unknown following the fish. I see it as Harry’s version of “this one is a thank you for what you did for me” ************* I see it, I appreciate it, and I love you for it

H-Lights Up: ****fight with Louis. (What do you mean I’m sorry by the way) About coming out? About fame? (Step into the light, so bright sometimes) Either way, L is the guy driving the motorcycle in the video who makes H feel comfortable and safe until they get pulled over because SOMEONE wont let them love*******

H-Falling: What if i’m out, what if i’m someone you won’t talk about? Okay maybe I lied I do want you to claim me. Would me coming out of the closet make that hard for you? I CAN’T GO THROUGH AN IDENTITY CRISIS WITHOUT YOU LOU. I picked someone supportive and now I’m spoiled and I dont know how to be with myself. You want back in my life but what if I dont deserve it? (you said you cared and you missed me too...what i’m someone i dont want around). What if you’re better off without me? (i get the feeling that you’ll never need me again). I know youve been through so much shit because of me, things you’ve never even told me about and im afraid...that I wasn’t worth it. Am I being selfish? because either way, i want YOU (what if you’re someone i just want around). Does that make me a bad person? 

H-TBSL: ****Probably when they starting talking again but it was v casual and they didn’t really discuss their relationship yet*****. I MISS U BUT I WONT TELL U THAT and its nice to talk to u again i missed your voice but if u call me baby i will kill u bc that word has weight OKAY. Like i know you just call everyone babe and darling and sweetheart but baby is FOR ME and only for me when you wake up with me and cuddle me and if you think you have any right calling me baby without giving the luxury of being in a relationship with you then piss off because that shit hurts dude. (i know that you’re trying to be friends, know that you mean it...it’s hard for me to go home to be so lonely). ALso it’s not my fault i’m like this, you literally captured my heart when i was 16 like wtf do u expect (dont blame me for falling, i was just a little boy)

H-Sunflower Vol. 6: we were babies and i was so enamored by you and you’re so bright and beautiful and i want to watch you all day and make you smile and i want you to touch my hair and call me curly and i hope im not making you uncomfortable with my heart eyes but like how are you so perfect. I hope you think i’m cool, i’m really trying but like you’re SO FUNNY and charming and everyone loves you i hope im not embarassing myself. And now it’s like 8 years later and i think i can have you again and i want you so bad but i dont wanna seem too eager and im trying to have dignity and not text you first but like also i want nothing more than to talk to you. Do you think i’m cool now? did you like my new hairstyle? Do you think i’m funny on tour? I want everything i want to be domestic again and kiss in the kitchen and i want to cook for you and as;ldfa;sdhaf i want to buy you flowers everyday and shower ur cute face with kiss. boopx28 

H-Canyon Moon: Hell yea i got ma man back and i have a girlfriend named Jennifer ;) and we are domestic and even though I HATE being away from him for work (so hard to leave it) we have the 2 week rule yall then i can wrap my legs around him and after so so so long I’ll be h.o.m.e. Also did i tell you his eyes are so so blue like sky who i dont know her

H-TPWK: So we’re really doing this. We don’t need to have it all figured out. We can just be us. and happy. and dance. The world loves us babe. (Giving second chances, I don’t need all the answers and if we’re here long enough we’ll see it’s all for us and we’ll belong)

H-Fine Line: You’ve got my devotion but man I can hate you sometimes....We’ll be a fine line. Between what? love and hate? public and private? out and in the closet? each others’ and ourselves? Idk. But i’m going to swallow my pride (my hands at risk I fold) because no matter what, the worst possible outcome is not having you. And I never wanna go through that again. I know we have work to do on our relationship (spreading you open is the only way I know you). And there’s lot of unknown here (there’s things that we’ll never know) but what i do know is that i cant resist you (you sunshine you temptress) and i cant be without you ever again. I think it’ll be hard as hell. But when have we known love as anything but hard? And when have we known our love as anything but worth it? We’ll be a fine line baby. But i know, i knowww with every part of me that we’ll be alright. Because these past 10 years, we’ve been through A LOT. ANd it could have ruined us and made us cynical and cold and closed off. And I think at one point it did. But you know what we did? We fought it. We fought it together. Then we fought it individually. And we became BRAVE. And a brilliant man once said, “love is only for the brave”. 

[chattegeorgiana]

It's 2021 & tbh I'm happy to see you still serving the truth. So many ppl hate Sakura it's rlly sad. I see hate for her from NH & SNS mostly about her "forcing" her feelings on others like she herself didnt realize that & was stuck trying the alleviate that be growing stronger as her main plot point. Her loss of development is 99% SP NH agenda. & honestly I still wish Sasuke got w/ NO ONE, not even Naruto. He wasnt good to anyone, even if he respected them. [1]

& in general I hate the idea that Sasuke HAD to end up w/ someone romantically to try find happiness & that person should have been Naruto/Sakura/etc. bc he COULD had a happy, content, redemption arc w/o a romantic partner. Not everything great in this world is driven by romantic companionship & Sasuke is honestly not cut out for it. I wish he had platonic healing & mending arcs, not this focus on finding the "right one" to bed with.

I will go down in my grave wishing Sasuke could be aromantic/asexual representation in a positive redemption arc of him making amends & fixing bonds w/o needing the "oh so powerful & miraculous" powers of romantic fixation.

__________________________________________________________

Well my parents taught me that a lie has short legs and it won’t last for long. And all you do is deceive yourself with lying so I took that lesson to the very heart through my upbringing and tried to stay as real as I can be. 

I’m the type of person who prefers a hard truth over a sweet lie any day. I have ruined relationships with people because of this way of being. Because I met people in my life that preferred to be sweet talked than told the cold truth.

I am not like that, so yeah.

Now, as for the Sakura hate... well, idk but I’ve also noticed a change in fandom support. Yes, she is still hated but the support for her grew over the years. I’m telling you, it’s one of the things I noticed from the very beginning as I came back to the fandom. 

But as I said in a thread on Twitter of mine, while I loved seeing that support, there are two factors that sadden me. 

1. The love is directed at Sakura Uchiha, not Sakura Haruno and 

 2. The fandom as a whole has become a lot similar to the other side of the fandom that used to bully us Sakura fans back in the day.

Of course, I am talking general aspects, I am sure that there are some particularities here and there. But sadly that's the truth. Which made me think about the following things. Are people really liking Sakura Haruno or Sakura Uchiha?

Because it makes me wonder... where was this love back when Sakura was getting her heroine status ripped? Where was it? Are you loving Sakura now just because she's married into the Uchiha clan? Because if so, that's just sad. And shallow. Like ppl used to call her.

And I know it might ruffle some jimmies, but it's the truth. It's an honest and pure observation, after being gone from the fandom for so long. Don't get me wrong, I love that she's loved and supported now, but I can't help but feel that she is because of the wrong reasons.

As for Sasuke, the problem is that the show rewards him with something that Naruto worked for.

We’re never really shown how he is sorry about all the misery he put everyone through.

People say that  ohhh, he was a victim. But wait. So was Naruto. He didn’t turn into that?

Not saying that what he did didn’t have an impact on him, but at the end of the day it boils down to CHOICE. Which Sasuke’s plot even is about. He CHOSE to go to Orochimaru. He CHOSE to kill Itachi. He CHOSE to destroy Konoha. HE CHOSE TO WANT TO KILL THE GOKAGE at the end!

And problem is that the plot doesn’t hold him accountable for that. And I will never shut up about how in other media authors don’t excuse the antagonist for his actions.

See FMA’s Scar. It’s the EXACT same thing. He had his clan murdered. Same thing. Genocide.

But do you see FMA’s plot excusing him for his actions like Naruto does? No, it doesn’t.

And I think that’s the core problem.

Like I always said: I have a love-hate relationship with Sasuke. I love the fact that he challenges the status quo, but I hate how he goes about it and how the story gives him a free pass.

Because it all feels hollow. Not to mention is a dangerous morale to leave behind. Especially to the newer generation of young adults who are shaping their character.

It’s sends a message that if you suffered, you get a free pass to do whatever shit you want cuz at the end of the day you get a free pass without having to work hard to get your atonement. 

That’s why I love the fight in Jujutsu Kaisen between Panda and Mechamaru. Mechamaru tries to victimize himself and find excuses for his actions, but Panda tells it like it is.

Just because you have suffered, it doesn’t give you the right to be an ass, basically.

As for Sakura and her development, yeah. Everyone acts like an ostrich and hide their heads in the ground pretending that it wasn’t because of SP’s favoritism and mischaracterization that Sakura wasn’t hated.

Well it was that exact same thing that made people hate her. Like I know at some point back in the day, SP had to excuse themselves that noo, they don’t hate Sakura.

Yeah right... Cuz that’s why they made an omake where she was jealous of Hinata and how Hinata was stealing the heroine status from her.

They were slowly inoculating this idea into the fandom’s perception.

And I remember how I used to tell people about it back in the day. SSers as well. 

Guys Sakura is gonna be sidelined because of this. She isn’t gonna be the heroine anymore. But did someone listen? Noo, they didn’t.

Because all they saw was the fact that I was a NaruSaku fan and to hell with me. Out of the fear of NaruSaku might potentially win, they preferred to just shut up.

And then guess what? TL came and they called Hinata the heroine of Naruto’s story.

And I was like lol, I goddamn told you so. But for you it was more important for NaruSaku to lose than Sakura keeping her status, right?

As for who Sasuke should’ve ended-up with? Well that is hard to tell. Ofc, personally due to my preference for symbolism and seeing the power balance, it would’ve been nice to see him paired-up with Karin.

Cuz I feel Karin had what it took to shake him up, cuz she didn’t take his BS. But that’s just me and I would’ve totally been okay with an arc like you proposed.

However, yeah, I don’t see him with Sakura at all , I’m sorry. As much as I would’ve liked to.

Hell, I should’ve been happy as a former SS. Yet I wasn’t.

But I guess this boils down to each person’s principles. And I know where mine lie. :)

[ziracona]

How many people were tested just for others anyway? Gordon's wife and daughter, Daniel (the wiki says it was also for shoplifting but he was 16 so I call bs), literally everyone except Lynn and her husband in Saw III, and my memory past 3 is fuzzy but that one lying author's wife comes straight to mind. They weren't being tested for whatever John pretended his survival of the fittest policy was they were terrorized tortured and/or killed for basically nothing but the pain of the target.

Anon you’re so valid TuT 

ITS TRUE AND WE SHOULD ALL SAY IT!!! Also, I wrote this little part last, bc I just wanted to give fair warning that I went blind into a rage and wrote threethousand words about how much I hate John Kramer, full of very terrible language and spoilers for Saw 1-6, because I go that fucking feral at the sound of his name, and I can’t make everyone scroll past that so I’m putting most of it under the cut, but even if you decide you justifiably fear that rant and don’t read it, just know you are incredibly valid, and John can eat shit and die. Rant start:

John did that bullshit constantly! He would over and over put 1 (one) man he personally wanted to watch suffer on trial and sacrifice /scores/ of people for no reason. No trap, no way to escape, at someone else’s mercy completely or maybe with 0 chance even there bc JOHN KRAMER IS A SACK OF SHIT. 

He kills a house full of drug addicts in two, mostly just bc his wife worked w drug addicts and John hates drug addicts, and even though Amanda was in their literal exact same position she does jack shit to stop him and just watches people slowly have their organs deteriorate and start coughing up blood around her!! Including fucking Daniel! Who got an antidote but like, at the 11th hour. Do y’all even understand how biology works John and CO??? If you neutralize a poison after it has deteriorated parts of organs it might save your life but itS NOT A FUCKING HEALTH POTION. Poor Daniel Matthews probably will only live to be like forty tops if he’s super lucky because of that. And he did NOTHING!!! He had shoplifted bc he was going through a teen phase but he’s like sixteen! Everyone was dumb as shit as a teenager, and most people shoplift at some point in their life! It does not earn you slow deterioration of your organs! Poor kid not only watched a man burned to death in an oven, dude have his brains blown out, girl die of prolonged organ failure, and more shit, he himself /killed/ a man as a sixteen year old child to save Amanda Young because he’s got a good heart and is a good person, and that shit is awful! It’s traumatic to kill someone at any age, but as a teenager? And then he got knocked out by her and thrown in a tiny locked safe, tied up and gagged, and kept alive by an oxygen tank in an enclosed space after that massive trauma for or AT LEAST 24 HOURS ! He did NOTHING. It was all just a long-con sacrifice to get Eric Matthews to a specific location. Eric did some real shit, but god, even after everything Daniel did for Amanda and all John’s talk of innocents, neither of them ever even tell Eric he lived! Amanda just locks him up, fights, beats him to she thinks death, and then John keeps him locked up and isolated in a cell for months, only to make him choke himself slowly in a test he doesn’t actually get to participate in to keep a friend from being electrocuted. It’s all kinds of fucked.

Even Jeff did nothing worse than be depressed and obsessive and unavailable to his kid, all Lynn did was have a boyfriend after she and he separated (and tbh the only reason John took her was bc he wanted a doctor and hated her for being one of the docs who told him he had cancer bc John is a pettyass hypocritical stupid sack of shit!) I’m VIBRATING with hatred. Lynn was just a pawn in Amanda’s test! It never mattered if she kept John alive! It only mattered if Amanda decided to fucking shoot her!!! She did her task and died and JOHN KNEW THERE WAS A HIGH PROBABILITY AMANDA WOULD KILL HER AND DID NOTHING TO STOP IT BC JOHN CARES ABOUT NO ONE BUT HIMSELF THE FUCKING WORTHLESS LITTLE WORM. 

And the other victims in 3 are a poor college student who ran over someone on accident and feels massive guilt already and served jail time for it who gets his fucking limbs and then head all twisted off while begging for his life because JOHN KRAMER IS A PIECE OF SHIT AND SO IS JEFF TBH. BUT NOT AS BIG OF ONE. The poor girl who is stung up naked in a freezer and sprayed repeatedly with water till she is encased in ice and dead literally just saw the hit and run and ran away bc she was scared!!! Not to mention Jeff’s other kid who gets kidnapped and locked up as collateral! Even if she’s not hurt that’s FUCKING TRAUMATIZING FOR A YOUNG CHILD. And Allison Kerry did nothing wrong! Amanda kills her in the Angel trap literally just bc she’s investigating them! When he targets a detective John’s always like “Ho ho he, I am putting you on trial bc you are obsessed with your work”  LIKE, BITCH NO SHE FUCKIN AINT SHE DOIN HER GODDAMN JOB AND U DON”T WANT TO GET CAUGHT YOU STUPID FUCKING WHORE I FUCKING HATE YOU SO MUCH THAT JUST LOOKING AT YOUR FACE CAUSES ME TO PRODUCE SO MUCH EXCESS EPINEPHRINE I COULD BOTTLE IT AND SAVE IT FOR LATER. I swear to god, if I had a grenade and I was in the room trapped with a still breathing John Kramer, I would kill pull the pin and take us both! FUCK I would pull the pin and then french kiss the grenade as thanks for letting me see that sack of shit go right to hell!

I don’t remember all of four bc it was really terrible, so I don’t have a lot of thoughts there except woof, but there was a lot of bullshit. Like John’s lawyer who did nothing but try to talk to him about finances enough it pissed John off got kidnapped, won his first game, and then got kidnapped again BC THAT SHIT HEAD SURE NEVER KEEPS EVEN HIS OWN GODDAMNED WORD and was made pawn in the game and then shot bc he didn’t have a chance to save himsefl!!! 

In Saw one, also, again, Adam was never being tested. He was just a pawn too. It was Gordon who got to decide to kill him or not, and ADAM LIVED TO SIX OR WHENEVER THE FUCK THE TIME WAS AND JOHN STILL LEFT HIM TO DIE BECAUSE HE”S A HYPOCRITICAL PIECE OF SHIT!!!! And he’s not interesting enough for Johns MASSIVE brainshlong that obviously is so full of right ideas and enlightenment you MICROPENISEDtrulyIDIOTIC self-centered human garbage!  He only took Adam at all bc he was there! He said the reason was Adam was pathetic! ADAM WAS DOING HIS BEST YOU CRUSTY ASS RED ROBED TURTLE LOOKIN MOTHERFUCKER. He was a freelance photographer in New Jersey in his early 20s during an economic collapse, and still nice enough to be taking care of stray cats you FUCKING sack of dogshit! 

And Gordon? All he did was tell John he had cancer! He was cheating on his wife too, but like, the reason John picked him was that!!! HE THOUGHT!! GORDON SOUNDED TOO COLD WHEN HE TOLD HIM HE HAD CANCER I FUCKING HATE JOHN KRAMER SO MUCH. John Kramer really will see someone smile not as big a smile as he thought they should have given him and be like: “Yo, is anyone going to corkscrew their eyeballs off?” and not even wait for an answer. I fuuuuukning hate him. And that little shitface thought it was somehow chill to order someone else to kill Gordon’s wife and eight year old child who had done JACK SHIT wrong ever if Gordon wasn’t willing to brutally murder a kid in his early 20s who had done nothing wrong????! WHAT THE FUCK. Mr. KRamer.. QUICK QUESTION. WHAT. THE. FUCK. You self-righteous, self-centered, pretentious, pettyass, sadistic motherfucking goddamn worthless excuse for anything!

In five he’s finally dead so I can : ) once. BUT HE STILL FUCKS UP SHIT FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE. SO I’m STILL MAD. All the people Hoffman kills are ppl John told him to, so HE STILL MOTHERFUKIN RESPONSIBLE. In 5 it’s a bunch of people responsible kind of for deaths of people in a low-income neighborhood. One guy was paid to torch an abandoned building, and eight people died in the fire, but he didn’t know anyone was there and feels terrible. He thought it was vacant, it was just arson. Another is a journalist who found out about the arson, and didn’t break the story bc guy 1’s father bribed him. There’s a fire inspector who learned the truth and was bribed by the guy’s dad not to tell too. A city planner who was bribed into selling permits for the land. And Brit, who was the girl who paid for the arson, bc she wanted to make an apartment complex, and maybe actually knew about the 8 people and might have deserved some real payback–it’s unclear???? Regardless. I want to add that the cops had been investigating, had a strong case, and were about to arrest them and hold these people accountable in a legal manner, which John knew bc HOFFMAN WAS IN HIS POCKET, and John so hated the idea of them facing justice justice, he kidnapped them. The fire inspector got dragged into saw blades by her throat and torn apart, the journalist died to a nail bomb, and the city planner got electrocuted in a bathtub. The two who made it had their arms split down the middle up to the elbow to let enough blood out to save them.  I cannot. Just.

Anyway. In six, again at DEAD JOHN WHO WON”T QUIT FUCKING EVERYTHING UP’s request, a ‘game’ is played and William Easton (one of my fave protagonists bc he’s a piece of shit but damn if he didn’t have a real glow up in forty-five minutes) is thrown into a hell circuit. 

And so, undeservingly, is like, EVERYONE he fucking knows! His janitor Hank is first up. Target for…what was it? OHhhhhh right. He smokes. That was why. That makes so much sense john I’m sorry I doubted you PSYCH I CAN"T EVEN SAY IT AS A JOKE I JUST THREW UP A LITTLE IN MY MOUTH JOHN QUICK Q? WHAT THE FUCK? oh wait it’s because your an ABSOLUTE BASTARD. You would think I would get desensitized but no. It just. It’s fuel on the flame of my rage.

William Easton and the janitor, Hank, are hooked into something that slowly tightens and crushes their ribs any time they take a breath, and whoever doesn’t die first gets to live, and poor goddamn Hank smoked so ofc he can’t outlast a healthy dude in his 30s and John crushes his ribs just to make William watch someone die. Then he makes William pick which of two people to save in trial 2. MEANING HE GODDAMN STRAIGHT UP KIDNAPPED THESE TWO TOTALLY FINE WITH EITHER DYING, IN FACT WITH THE SOUL PURPOSE BEING TO DIE bc who cares about them right John? You fucking pretentious self-righteous creep! I have a year of the Pig teddy bear I named after Peter Strahm JUST for the FUCKING satisfaction of knowing John would hate that bc he was so into year of the motherfucking pig. ANyway. Plot again. Poor file clerk at Williams firm and the poor secretary are the two targets, and literally they did jack shit!!! They work for shitty lawyers but all they do is clock in to a 9-5 and file shit!! They are literally just there to rub it in William’s face that insurance policies aren’t fair bc according to them, one of the humans is worth more than the other bc health and age, but uuuuh oohhh William the older one with health issues is p hard to kill face to face bc you know her and she has kids and the young healthy man in his early 20s family is dead and he doesn’t have friends which means according to John he is worth less bc JOHN DOES THINK YOU CAN CHOOSE BETWEEN LIVES and all of this is here just bc John somehow thought it would be fun to fucking WIN A GODDAMN “I’M RIGHT” ARGUMENT WITH A LAWYER at the expense of brutally hanging a human being with barbed wire!!! 

Sidebar–if John Kramer was a real human being, I would go yearly on a fucking pilgrimage to his grave just to SPIT on his stupid corpse. I HATE HIM SO MUCH. 

K so young man dies. Then test 3 his attorney dies too, I don’t know much about her, except she is just there to make William feel like shit and they were into each other, and she tries to kill William after he gets hurt trying to save her bc he has the key to her trap in his stomach or chest idr, but she doesn’t get the key in time and dies, and then test 4 he finds his associates strapped to a carousel with a shotgun that picks one at random and blows off their head, and has to let all but two of them get gunned down and choose which two not to kill. And again, they’re kind of shittyass lawyers, but uh. Yeah. To save two, he has to let this huge piece of metal rip through his hand, but William does it and destroys his hand to save the two he can, and suffers picking while they all beg him to pick them bc John wanted to see him suffer picking between human lives again because he’s a goddam self-centered stuck up jerk who vales human life less then admiring his ugly ass dick in the mirror every day and pretending he’s a member of Mensa, the evil utterly irredeemable sack of shit. Anyway, at the end, William has never had a chance to live or die at all! And John was literally just torturing him for fun and killed /all/ those people not even for a test for William but /solely/ to make him suffer bc human lives DON"T MATTER ONE FUCKING IOTA to JOHN SHITASS KRAMER. WHO JUST WANTED TO WIN. AN INTELLECTUAL ARGUMENT. POST-MORTEM. BECAUSE he’s THAT kind of shittyass, pretentious, sanctimonious, better than thou, always right, incapable of wrong, smartest fucking asshole in the room man!!! I bet he doesn’t ever wash his hands when he takes a piss! I KNOW IT! FUCK John Kramer! 

ANd OH! William gets killed by a kid who hates him bc he turned down their father’s insurance policy fraudulently, knowing he would die of an illness without the money. BC William was terrible. Which is /so/ great for that fucking teenager! Killing someone horribly with acid while you watch them die and their body be melted! And they beg you not to do it and apologize on the other side of bars, already beat to shit, and plead for forgiveness, and your mom begs you not to, and the dude’s sister sobs and begs you not to!!! SO GOOD! Way to go john you FUCKING CUNT, they definitely value their lives now you goddamn motherfucking souless sack of shit!

I-I don’t even have the energy to do the other Saw movies or go back over the other victims in Saw one WHO DID NOTHING WRONG. John just hated them!!! BC HIS WIFE KNEW THEM! In most cases! John just fucking hates drug addicts! OK u know what here’s the short version even if I can’t do them justice rn bc I’m pissed!!! One guy got sliced to death on razor wire for cutting when he was depressed bc John is a piece of shit, one got burned to death after walking on glass for hours bc John doesn’t believe in invisible illnesses and if you’re walking you must be healthy, oh yeah! And the fucking dude Amanda killed in her first trial was just a drug addict! Going to a recovery clinic! He never had a chance to live on his own bc the only choice was if Amanda would cut open his intestines and sift through him for a key while he was awake but too drugged to move or not, and she did! Didn’t even get to plead for his life! ANyway!!!! Fucking as far as I can tell all Zep did was work at the goddamn hospital! He WENT OUT OF HIS WAY TO BE NICE TO JOHN and told other people he was a cool dude!!! He was just a janitor!!! WHAT THE FUCK???

I just. God. I hate everything about John Kramer. The way he talks makes me so LIVID I change color like a goddamned chameleon. He is so ready to argue his stupid shitty fucking ethics with anyone who breathes in a ten mile radius. Shithead John over here will strap you to a table and make you listen to him talk about how it’s not his fault he poisoned two people and gave them one antidote and a bunch of knives and one of them came out dead, and his hands are clean and people don’t value their lives so they should die while he watches eating fucking cereal I am just–I am so glad John has cancer? Like, the idea of Saw sans John having cancer is unbearable, because I am so afraid the writers would never let him die and we would never be free of the human cancer that is John. The only human being on the planet that has ever been able to make me root for the cancer. But boy in that one and only regard, John is special.

I hate him so much it is unbelievable. Like. I can’t even put it into words. THe pure, unbridled fury I feel when I hear John say, “D’oh ho ho, but I, with these two little handies of mine, hath never pulled the gun’s trigger! Got you there! Where is your science! Where is your god! I am no murderer! I heal people! By sawing off their faces! You just do not understand, oh poor unenlightened human that you are. May you be strapped to a machete car and blessed with my wisdom  😔” I absolutely lose control of 90% of normal human functionality, and all that I have left is righteous justice and bloodlust. It’s unbelievable.

Whichever one of you god-mode-brain peeps made that post saying Eric Matthews had the hardest test in the whole Saw franchise because he had to sit and listen to John Kramer talk for two hours was a GODDAMNED HERO and if you contact me and prove the tumblr account is yours I will paypal you ten dollars and a personalized note thanking you for the joy that gave me because I just really hate John Kramer that FUCKING MUCH. I would cut off my own toes to be able to have something to shove down John Kramer’s throat to make him stop. talking.

There are a lot of things in this world I hate bc I hate things that are unjust, but I hate absolutely nothing more in the universe than a villain who is a self-righteous, hypocritical asshole who won’t even admit that what they are doing is wrong and parades as the tragic genius hero despite knowing GODDAMN well that they are a petty, shitty, hypocritical, absolute fucking MONSTER with no redeemable qualities or capacity for love. And John Kramer is at least my second least favorite character in the history of ANYTHING. Maybe my first. I’m not even sure anymore! Nasty-ass, evil, pretentious, self-righteous, shortsighted, selfish, sadistic, voyeuristic, willfully ignorant, crusty ass useless soulless garbage little SHIT.

[solitaria-fantasma]

((Session #7 shenanigans, GO!))

We’re skipping the filler stuff this week and jumping straight into the Plot bc our DM has figured out how to connect us to her main campaign and really wants to get to the good parts.

It’s been a while so we had to do a little discussing to remember where we’d left off: Destroying a dog-fighting ring, making friends with the dogs, and kidnapping the pit boss.

We dragged the pit boss halfway back to town bc we’d left our horses at the inn, and then dragged him into the woods to interrogate.

I woke him up with a slammin’ lute chord (and I was absolutely thinking “SECRET TUNNEEEEELLLLL!” in my head as I did).

Udaji rolled another ‘4’ on her Perception check and someone else in the voice chat said “yeah that’s on-brand for her”.

ZONE OF TRUTH! ZONE OF TRUTH! ZONE OF TRUTH!

(the pit boss calls the dogs ‘stupid animals’) “Someone needs to hold Udaji back, please.”

“Lord Hassan? Yeah, he’s the boss-.....I shouldn’t have said that.”

This poor man didn’t have a high enough intelligence to recognize the spell ‘Zone of Truth’ and is confused af right now.

The second piece of the map to the Crescent Gang’s Hideout was rolled up in a little bottle on a string around the pit boss’ neck - now we have two!

We asked where the third piece was, but the pit boss didn’t know - he gave us a few towns that he thought it might be in, though (such as Caister, in Everton).

Apparently, you need to layer all three map pieces over top of each other to see the full picture - like animation cells!

We asked about the marriage-murder scam, too, but the pit boss didn’t know anything important.

“If these bitches were cute enough then maybe-” *angry Dragonborn noises*

“Maybe we could feed him to the dogs?” “No way! Burnt Toast and Matthias Jr. need a well-balanced diet, not junk food.”

The only thing holding Udaji back from killing this man rn is Claus’ hand on her shin.

We leave the pit boss tied up in the wilderness, and he’s probably going to die. It’s a good thing none of us are Lawful Neutral.

The fastest way to Caister is by boat, which will take about one week, rather than two weeks if by land.

We have to pay to board the horses on the boat, but as long as the sailors were allowed to pet our new dogs, we didn’t have to pay for their boarding.

“What would you like to do on your two week boat ride?”/”I would like to train Matthias Jr. to play dead when shot with a pretend bow and arrow.”

Level Four! Yay!

We had barely landed in Everton when we heard an NPC shouting about a thief.

Mountain was too distracted trying to keep Señor Guapo from eating poison ivy to notice the commotion.

I have only just now realized that I did not include in my last session’s notes that the other two dogs are named “Señor Guapo” and “Joel”.

“Because Claus is a good boy and he is the conscience of this party.”

“We could also surround her. We number quite many.”

*insert Benny Hill theme here as the party & our dogs attempt to surround the suspected thief while our horses graze serenely a few meters away from the chaos*

The thief is a hungry young woman I don’t care what her role in the story is I have already mentally adopted her.

Mountain paid the farmer the five copper the carrots were worth, and the man stormed off, threatening to call the guard if we let her near his farm again.

“You offer her your rations, and she looks at you like you are God.”

The child is absolutely bewildered by the size of Ganondorf the Horse, but then she looked back at me (the Dragonborn) and whispered “Oooh, that makes sense…”

Soothing lute music is good for panic attacks and that’s about all Udaji’s good for right now.

Her name is Colette De Mir, and she claims to have fallen on hard times after receiving a letter pROPOSING MARRIAGE TO A LORD IN EVERTON OH NO-

She survived an attack on her traveling group, and was the only survivor. Lord Hassan tried to kill her, and threw her off of a bridge into a ravine, where she once again managed to cheat death. No-one else in her party survived, and everything in their carriage that could be stolen was.

Burnt Toast and Joel are therapy dogs: Confirmed.

Colette was horrified when we told her that she was not the only one who had been targeted by this scam, and demanded to know what we knew.

Matthias doesn’t trust her, for some reason, but the high Insight roll checks out.

“Yeeting princesses is not a very Lordly activity.”

Colette says she woke up underwater after the fall, and found herself breathing rather normally. What a way to find out you’re a sorcerer.

I lent her one of the costumes from my Entertainer’s pack, to replace her dirty and mismatched clothing as we go into town, and it’s WAY too big for her, considering it was sized for a Dragonborn.

Once we get to town, Astrid and I take Colette on a spa/shopping trip so that she can get cleaned up, and have some proper clothes.

At the inn, Colette tells us that she didn’t know that this town was Caister - she had been told that it was Kenkilly by the ship that had carried her and her entourage.

She was lied to about which town was which, basically, and - being from a completely different country - she had no idea.

Our money from Swadlin is still good in Everton, but almost all of the shopkeepers and merchants could pin us as tourists from our foreign currency.

Colette asks us to take her to Kenkilly, where Lord Hassan is supposedly supposed to be. Safety and strength in numbers, right?

Udaji - having been raised by an overprotective party of retired adventurers in a quiet, but populous, town - has no survival skills of her own.

For all intents and purposes, Colette is a Waterbender. 

Colette has a blue cloak that she tried to hide from the party, and took great care to dry and keep when changing clothes. It was a gift from her mother, meant to protect her.

When we set out the next morning, Colette rode with Astrid and got the tea (whether she wanted it or not) on the rest of the party.

“She has all the embarrassing stories on you, like what you do when you sleep.”/”Oh, no! She’s seen me cuddle my lute??”

Kenkilly is actually a small, rural village on the coast, rather than the larger city it had been made out to be in the letter to her family.

We track down some shady locals to try and get information, and we….are not subtle about it.

Between the Dragonborn, the Tiefling, two half-elves, a princess, and four dogs, we stand out quite a bit.

Matthias joined the shady people for a game of chance with dice, and won a bit of money, but no information.

Mountain joined in the betting, and Astrid is shit-talking both of them while Colette, Claus, and Udaji stand off to the side and watch.

Claus lasts about five minutes before he gives up trying to pretend we aren’t doing some shady BS and goes back to the inn to drink.

Mountain asks about the Crescent gang, but one guy asks for a bribe for his answer. Mountain tries to intimidate him, and fails miserably

Matthias also tried (and failed) to intimidate, but with Astrid’s help, the criminal was successfully intimidated.

Lord Hassan does indeed live in this town (or at least the castle nearby it), and he does not seem to be entirely well-liked by the people.

None of the complaints are super-bad, though….”trash day changes too much”, “the cost of living is too high”, “there’s too many damned foreigners-” Okay. Okay. We get the point.

“Udaji’s gonna look herself up and down from her boots to her flower crown and ask: “Do I look like a cop??’.”

“If we’re gonna ‘case this castle’, may I recommend not sending the Tiefling or the Dragonborn?”

Matthias goes out to scout, and finds out that Lord Hassan has ‘appointment times’ where he is available to the public - the next time being 2pm the next day.

He signs up the party for the 2pm meeting and comes back to the inn where the rest of us are waiting.

“I have been giving you guys tons and tons and TONS of money! You know you can spend it, right??”

The local armorer can upgrade our weapons with silver, but it would take two days, and we don’t expect to be in town that long...bummer.

I bought some new Studded Leather Armor for Udaji, sold her original Leather Armor, AND got it refined - my bby now has an AC of 16 now!

“Why do you still have all these rotten apples in your inventory?!”/”She’s fermenting them!”

Matthias’ player had him eat twenty rotten apples in one sitting just to spite the DM (their sister).

He then had to go throw up in the harbor.

So earlier, Matthias horribly embarrassed Astrid back in the alley, and now she’s refusing to talk to him.

Colette is confirmed for 19 and Udaji is still the baby of the party at 17.

The rest of the party is hanging out in the tavern, completely unawares, as Astrid yeets herself out a second story window to avoid talking to her father.

The innkeeper gave Udaji some alcohol, and Mountain casually stole it, drank it, and said “Underaged drinking is bad.”

Everyone goes around placing dinner orders at the inn and Udaji orders an entire chicken.

Astrid came back after brooding out in the wilderness for a few hours and we settled down to sleep.

Astrid steals a crown that Matthias had ‘found’ in an earlier session for Colette, arguing that “she’s actual royalty, and we’re going to talk to a Lord tomorrow, so we need to make the best impression”.

We also get a ‘glow-up’ montage as Astrid uses Matthias’ disguise kit to alter Colette’s appearance (bc if Lord Hassan really DID try to murder her, then walking straight back into his castle with no disguise would be a death sentence).

Still refusing to talk to her father, Astrid paid a very confused and slightly offended Colette to bring her breakfast in her room, just so she didn’t have to look at Matthias’ smug elven face.

Astrid also does not join us at the castle.

The Lord that we meet in the castle…..is NOT the same Lord that tried to kill Colette.

“It is kind of rude to show up for your scheduled appointment and just stand at the door, not saying anything.”

Colette storms past the party to demand an explanation of Lord Hassan, who is very unimpressed with this strange woman’s attitude.

“She’s a little upsetti spaghetti.”

Udaji’s soothing lute music saves the day again.

We tell the Lord that we are from the land of Swadlin, and were sent to investigate a series of deaths.

This Lord Hassan is a widower who is deeply faithful to his late wife and has no intentions of marrying again, and is VERY confused to hear that someone is using his name.

An advisor steps forward to take over the situation, and Matthias’ successful Insight roll gives him TERRIBLE vibes.

“He’s the kind of person whose teeth are too straight; too white.”

This advisor offered to pay us to investigate who was impersonating his Lord, and despite the bad vibes, Matthias agrees.

“Maybe DON’T intimidate the advisor while surrounded by guards.”

“He’s essentially offering you $7,000 EACH.”

We got sent off to investigate this impersonation of a Lord, and went back to the inn to try and shake off the Bad Vibes and calm Colette down.

Colette draws us a (rough) sketch of a frowning man with a pointed hairline and stiff moustache as the man who threw her off the bridge.

*two minutes of the DM (lovingly) insulting her cat in the background*

Colette says he was incredibly handsome, but Udaji just doesn’t see it.

We decide to try following the river upstream until we find a bridge that matches the one Colette was thrown off of.

Colette uses some of Matthias’ paper to write a letter to her parents, and asks Udaji to come with her to find a sailor to deliver it to her parents (for a modest fee).

The DM brought up the map and showed us the island of Mir, where Colette was from. It is a tiny dot out in the ocean, down in the far right bottom corner of the map. No wonder she needed to sail for two months!

“Matthias drinks one drink and then is blackout drunk.”/”Why do you think I have a kid?”

When we leveled up I took “Suggestion” as my next 2nd level spell, and I absolutely cannot wait to use it.

I CAN TAKE THE “DRAGON WINGS” RACIAL FEATURE AND GIVE UDAJI A 20FT WINGSPAN! Oooooooh boy the sTORYTELLING I can do with this!!!

[tarmairons]

re: that last hp ask i got

i know i said i wouldn’t be cross-posting my bellamort/dark au/riddle fam headcanons from twitter but i’ve decided to post a lengthy updated masterpost here after all so ENJOY bon apetit 

1. see the thing is that 90% of my hcs can’t be described with words bc they’re just.. feelings.. aesthetics.. vibes.. vague scenarios that make me feel some sort of way… the dark au has a certain Feel and i just stick a bunch of domestic concepts in there and shake it all up and that’s it shshsh

2. disclaimer: im like 75% sure my self indulgent ramblings won’t make sense so sorry about that

3. i was fully serious that one time i said on twitter that voldemort’s no.1 priority after taking over the wizarding world was doing sth about his snace (snake face) so yeah. first things first he’s not as fugly in the dark au. as mentioned previously he just looks like mr. ralph and probably wears ornate haute couture power suits

4. the public doesn’t actually know who the augurey is for YEARS… they know whoever it is is voldemort’s second in command and sure there’s rumors that he has an heir but nobody knows it’s delphi. this way she doesn’t have to be reclusive and hide away, she just lives her life, studies and trains, masters the art of dark magic, hangs around town etc, and no one suspects anything bc who would think this tiny super friendly innocent looking girl is the dark lord’s kid — her identity isn’t revealed until she’s deemed Ready to publicly take up her position. and when she is revealed it’s a Big Moment bc she’s a drama queen and lives for attention

5. delphi is taller than bellatrix

6. speaking of bellatrix. she’s presumed dead after the battle of hogwarts which turns out to be a cool bonus for the dark side. any leftover resistance? she’ll take care of that and they’ll never see her coming. tbh this seems a lot cooler in my head bc movie bellatrix would not be stealthy enough to stay hidden for years she would probs trip over something and accidentally commit arson within a few days. but yeah sneaky assassin sounds sexy. plus to be super honest i imagine bella is a teensy bit more collected than in the films... no shade at helena y’all know i would die for her but there are in fact things i would change about her bella. so yeah for a while the only people who know she’s alive aside from her immediate family are probs rod and the malfoys

7. hm so. the malfoys…. much to think about. narcissa did lie to voldemort’s face during the battle so logically he should have killed her the moment he realized she knew harry was alive all along. but this is a soft dark au so let’s pretend bellatrix was like hey dude don’t kill my sister maybe and voldemort was like k. i mean no harm done, harry potter is properly dead in this universe after all

8. but seriously tho. the only reason voldemort didn’t yeet narcissa into a wall was for bella’s sake. he’s nice like that, he probably promised her at one point that he wouldn’t violently murder her family. peak romance

9. delphi is surprisingly close with both her parents although with voldemort it’s more of a mentor-student relationship than a parent-child one bc he’s Like That. growing up it was always bella who insisted they treat delphi more like a child and less like a weapon and voldemort wasn’t always happy about that bc he’s emotionally constipated and also never had a childhood. also he’s, like, evil. so yes, reminding voldemort that delphi was her daughter too sometimes got bella in trouble bc we all know of voldemort’s superiority issues. but no bella didn’t stop insisting that delphi deserved an actual childhood and in the end they compromised like functional adults and delphi turned out pretty well for someone raised by 2 of the most terrifying people alive

10. but yeah that’s not to say voldemort and kid delphi never had soft moments. they did. he even picked her up every once in a while. everyone was surprised, bella most of all. she probably cried in the bathroom later bc the softness overwhelmed her. i’m not sure if i mean that in a sarcastic shitpost kind of way or if she was really moved to tears. y’all decide for yourselves

11. delphi looks very very much like bella but she has tom riddley eyes.. so dark they’re nearly black. and soulless. maybe they even flash red when she’s enraged. and she has very aristocratic very controlled tom riddley mannerisms. it’s not until you piss her off and she goes off the rails that the bella side of her personality kicks in

12. delphi gets along really well with the malfoys (except lucius. she thinks he’s pathetic and likes to tease him. in a friendly way but it’s still harsh. she gets that from her mom) esp scorp. scorp thinks this makes him cool at school bc he gets to fist bump the augurey and not get murdered for it

13. speaking of hogwarts. umbridge is scared shitless of delphi and it’s always a school-wide spectacle when the augurey drops by unexpectedly on official business and umbridge starts stuttering and quivering. scorp sometimes makes a point to approach umbridge and delphi when they’re talking and act all chummy-chummy with his cousin just to make himself look powerful and Cool in front of umbridge and the other students

14. i still don’t know whether voldemort would call delphi ‘delphini’ or just ‘delphi’… i imagine he’s a strict stick-up-his-ass kinda father but who knows. he does call bellatrix ‘bella’ but that’s different i guess

15. but THEN AGAIN he does have a gigantic soft spot for delphi too. maybe he slips up every so often and calls her delphi. i’m literally making this shit up as i go along i’m just smashing my mf keyboard and occasionally glancing at my messy hcs notebook. I TOLD YALL i don’t have solid hcs i just have VIBES and AESTHETICS. the only way you’ll get specific hcs out of me is if you ask very specific questions

16. weirdest brotp is delphi and rodolphus. nobody knows where that came from but they get along so well and it confuses everybody

17. we been knew that bella is batshit crazy and criminally insane or whatever but against all odds she is a surprisingly good mother. she’s always been soft for family (narcissa etc) so it makes sense that she would legit die for delphi. they have this super casual bantery relationship YALL GET ME bella is so proud of delphi she’s literally that “my little baby off to destroy people” meme!!! honestly mother-daughter relationships are my goddamn weakness i would die for the two of them

18. delphi has a gf (underdeveloped oc time!) who, for the longest time, doesn’t know who she is dating bc delphi is obviously not allowed to say. she finds out the truth eventually and she is properly freaked out for a very very long time. and since all of these hcs are stupidly soft we’re just gonna keep making them softer: the gf is terrified of delphi’s parents at first (obvs) but they’re both extremely fond of her (well, bella is, voldemort probs doesn’t care all that much about who delphi is dating so long as she’s not of subpar blood status or secretly spying for the opposition ya know. as long as delphi trusts her he does too)

19. no but really voldemort trusts delphi and bella implicitly. with delphi it’s bc he raised her and he trusts her to be loyal bc she knows no other way, she was meant to be an extension of his power etc. but with bella it’s something he learns over time, to trust her judgement bc despite her many many flaws she’s very perceptive and usually right

20. voldemort probably makes more horcruxes. still haven’t decided how this ties in with the fact that he’s now safely immortal again and neither delphi nor bella are. who knows maybe they all do the do and split their souls. much to think about. feel free to send ur thots and ideas my way

21. ya know im basic and always on my bellamort bs and therefore: as the years go by voldemort warms up to bella. not that he wasn’t already extremely fond of her before but he kicks it up a notch. i mean, he’s already taken over the world so it’s high time to start experimenting with other wilder things like Feelings. 80/90 years old isn’t too late to experience Love or whatever. might as well wake up one day and realize you’re completely and utterly in love with the woman you’ve spent the last 50+ years with whew. LIKE to be fair bella knows him better than anyone — they understand each other, they’re familiar with each other’s likes, dislikes, mannerisms, nervous tics etc etc. let’s be real it freaked voldemort out at first, being vulnerable to any degree (not that he let it show) but it just became so easy to tell her things that it became a natural thing to do. and obvs he trusts her to keep everything between them and never judge him for anything so that’s sweet

22. y’all keep asking me for domestic hcs but what can i possibly say?? imagine literally any domestic scenario ever and just think bellamort and i’ve probably imagined that same scenario before. except its sexier bc the world is dark and evil and they live in a dark gloomy super fancy manor. so we have these 2 goths right but they’re in love but in that casual familiar way YALL GET ME and sometimes they even drink coffee together in the mornings or like. do that thing where Person A returns from work late at night and its dark and raining and Person B is already home just chilling and they don’t even have to talk they just go about their nighttime routine but it’s soft and familiar and COMFORTABLE. i clearly dont have enough softness in my life i just. love domestic scenarios bye

23. i forgot everything else i wanted to write bc i got distracted by domesticity. im also thinking about how voldemort absolutely despises the thought of any pda but he’ll take bella by the wrist in public every so often when he wants to get her attention, or like. put his hand on her back. small things but oh so soft

24. hhhh okay i have a LOT to say about the power fam’s fashion choices but it’s hard to explain without pictures. i have a wholeass ppt presentation but i’m not about to upload 20+ slides to tumblr. but i seriously was not kidding when i said voldemort wears fancy suits and yes i have references. meanwhile delphi is a fan of feathers but mostly goes with lowkey military-style outfits.. she’s practical yet ostentatious. bella sticks to a conservative yet undeniably sexy selection of evil looking dresses.. i should make all of these into pinterest boards hmm

25. controversial opinion but i think delphi knows she and voldemort are half bloods. so does bella but that’s a whole other story, she been knew. anyhow yeah delphi was told the truth bc it was better for her to find out from the source rather than hear rumors from the opposition and begin to distrust the foundations of voldemort’s whole empire and voldemort himself

26. i used to absolutely hate fics where bella would eventually call voldemort by his name but now im like FUCK THAT we don’t do guilty pleasures anymore we just stan ridiculous things and that’s that. one day voldemort had a Thought (shocking, i know) and was like. Hm so we have a wholeass child and we’re basically married maybe bella shouldn’t have to call me My Lord for the rest of her life. BUT ONLY IN PRIVATE. THATS BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM it’s nobody’s business. It Is Nobody’s Business

27. speaking of marriage. bella and rod got divorced a few years after the battle. it was just a formality tho let’s be real. they remained very close friends tho!!!!!!!! i think that’s an unpopular opinion among bellamort stans but i genuinely believe bella and rod were always close the way best friends or family are ya know. rod really loves bella but as long as she’s happy he’s happy even if it means her fucking the dark lord on the reg or whatever

28. going back to #6 — when the public finally finds out that bella’s alive they obviously start to wonder about her and voldemort and connect the dots re: delphi etc but nobody ever gets any concrete answers bc there’s never any public pda.. any sort of affection is limited to when it’s just the two of them. and obviously it’s not like voldemort gossips about his private life in tabloid interviews or whatnot. ALSO the whole Bella Is Alive reveal isn’t nearly as dramatic as delphi’s big moment.. it’s more discreet and insidious in that way it implies that she was there hiding in plain sight all along. and if the ministry can keep sth this big a secret, what else are they hiding.. ah classic intimidation tactics of an authoritarian regime

29. i dont think this is ever stated in the CC but in terms of politics and bureaucracy i imagine voldemort has a fancy office in the ministry and spends 99% of his time there and rarely spends any time out and about. he’s almost never seen by anyone, rarely attends events etc. delphi’s the one who handles the day to day shit in the wizarding world. she’s like.. the public relations manager.. between the public and voldemort

30. bella is of similar status within the ministry but that’s just bc people are scared shitless of her. she doesn’t actually hold any political power and she most certainly does not want to, that is not her area of expertise at all

31. delphi is dangerously powerful and i think that’s really sexy of her

32. re: #21 it’s like. as voldemort warms up to bella, she in turn chillaxes a bit with the whole blind devotion thing and becomes bolder with him like. she’ll outright question his decisions or tell him what he should do, make judgement calls etc. and it becomes a regular thing.. turns into this casual companionship ya feel.. i won’t say they become equals bc that’s just unrealistic but he certainly stops treating her like his inferior. he recognizes her value and i daresay her authority and stops treating her like shit all the time Wow Romance Is Alive!! (this sounds like some sort of “douche fuckboi changes for his poor mistreated love interest” schtick but it’s really not that bc they’re both monstrous people who do not deserve any pity so jot that down. they’re horrible and they deserve each other and they eventually do make it work and i am so so happy for them)

33. it is never outright stated that voldemort can’t love. jkr has said that he doesn’t understand love and that it’s just symbolism!!! that he’s the child of a loveless union and grew up without knowing love!!! BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN HE PHYSICALLY CANNOT LOVE thanks for coming 2 my ted talk. i wasn’t aware of this until a few months ago and i was thrilled to find out my soft hcs are not entirely ooc after all

34. THE POINT IS. THEY ARE A SEMI-FUNCTIONAL FAMILY and i just really love soft domestic scenarios so sorry jkr but the dark au is the only canon now and it belongs to me. everybody has feelings and everything is soft. i’d like to pitch an idea for a kuwtk style reality show but it’s these 3 sociopaths under one roof navigating family life and wizarding world politics

35. to finish i’d like to apologize for downplaying the fact that all 3 of the people i woobified in this post are psychotic murderers and tyrants etc

—— i’ll be updating this if/when i remember anything i forgot AND ALSO send me ur thoughts and comments and constructive criticism etc pls pls pls 

—— follow me on twitter and also curiouscat bc i get a scary amount of q’s about voldemort’s sex life thank you and goodbye

edits:

36. in this household we stan dark haired delphi. no i will not be taking any criticism regarding this particular fact

37. bella and voldemort never get married. obviously, because that’s a disgustingly romantic and pointless thing to do. it’s sentimental and unnecessary (well, voldemort thinks so, bella might just disagree but she’s not about to force his hand) BUT that’s not to say they’re not basically an old married couple anyway. AND as much as voldemort thinks love is weakness or whatever he knows this, that they’re about as close as two people can get. SO if he just so happens to gift her a ring.. well it’s a purely symbolic gesture but the implication is definitely there

38. it’s the horcrux ring. he trusts her that much. m y  h e a r t

[janiedean]

(1) Can I just say I hate all this Freddie Mercury biopic wank with a passion? Like, this hellsite went from "Queen is one of those boring 'classic' bands all whites are obsessed with bc they won't even consider new music by diverse artists u.u" to "WWRY is clearly a song about rebellious queer youth, cishets don't touch Queen u.u" after someone pointed out Freddie's ethnicity and sexuality, to "why aren't they making Freddie gay in the biopic!!!11" and... whatever they're whining about now.

(2) And I HATE looking at all this bs and thinking "fake fans", bc I'm pretty damn sure that by most standards, *I* count as a "fake fan", too. I mean, most stuff I know about the band's history is actually stuff about Freddie, thanks to a few documentaries centered around him and my mom, the long-time fan with a big crush on Freddie who introduced me to Queen when I was a kid. Hell, I couldn't even name all their albums or anything needed to be considered a "true fan". But ppl on here... ugh. (3) It's like they're really embarrassed bc they were called out on mistaking "woke" stuff for "unwoke" stuff, and now they have this desperate need to prove their ability to discern wokeness by getting offended about something they don't even care all that much about, as loudly and dramatically as they can.

HAHAHAHAHA.

okay so, tldr: I hate this discourse and I honestly hope that it dies within two weeks out of the biopic for a whole lot of reasons amongst which the ones you said, but like, this discourse actually highlights a shitload of issues with the usual tumblr discourse which I will gladly go into now because I’m fucking tired and this movie isn’t out yet.

now, premise: while I don’t think that true fans are a thing - at most there’s casual fans or in-depth fans but I mean, a fan is a fan so I don’t believe in the *fake* fans thing..... the problem here isn’t that they’re fakes. it’s that they aren’t fans. period.

other premise: from what you’ve said you’re a casual fan which is normal and you DON’T count as fake I mean if you like them and listen to them and know something it’s basically being a casual fan same as I am with idk the rolling stones, I like the famous stuff, I have the fundamental records and I like them when they’re on but that’s it.

but, yours truly is a Not Casual Queen Fan in the sense that a) I got into them when I was seventeen and I’m thirty now so thanks it’s been a while, b) I own all the records, c) I own a decent portion of roger taylor’s/brian may’s solo records (and I have listened to all of them that I couldn’t buy), d) I went to see them live once (k it was with paul rodgers but nvm guys not my fault if I wasn’t born in time for freddie) and I love queen’s music and I’m also fucking cishet and you know what? these people Are Not Fans and they should stop pretending they are and just stop making themselves look like assholes.

SPECIFICALLY:

the movie’s not out yet and I’ve had to see FIFTEEN ‘FRIENDLY REMINDER TO ALL CISHETS THAT FREDDIE MERCURY WAS GAY (at least a couple said he was bi and they were less asshole-ish) AND POC AND IF YOU DON’T KNOW YOU’D BETTER LEARN NOW HAHAHAHA YOU THOUGHT HE WASN’T. spoilers: every fucking casual queen fan who has bothered to buy three records knows that. yes, also the cishets. like, as someone who went from VERY CASUAL (ie: I know three songs) to NOT CASUAL in the span of two months I can 100% assure you that before getting into queen the usual preconceptions are that freddie was gay and that queen = freddie + three other people. the first three things you learn when getting into queen are (more or less in order but it can change) that a) the band was actually brian may + roger taylor first, b) that roger brought freddie in because they knew each other already, c) that mary austin was a fundamental person in freddie’s life and that she was also brian may’s ex and knew him first before they got together, d) the members’s backstories including where freddie was born, so like...... this idea that CASUAL CISHET FANS wouldn’t know that freddie was a) not heterosexual, b) poc is just something a NON-FAN would say because guess what, most queen fans even at a casual level are 100% aware that freddie was a) not heterosexual, b) not ethnical british. and saying that OMG CISHETS DON’T KNOW it’s ridiculous because guess what, everyone knows and if they have no idea they do, though luck, we did;

(spoilers: I also am 99% sure that those ppl have no idea that roger and brian actually sing on the records and composed a shitload of the music and queen =/= ONLY FREDDIE but okay)

they have no idea that rock music in the 70s/80s was not so heteronormative and was not the cishetmalething they think it is. like, please look at led zeppelin (ie THE PEOPLE WITHOUT WHOM YOU WOULDN’T HAVE HEAVY METAL) and tell me they were heteronormative. like, you saw robert plant? yeah, me too. and the thing was that queen were revolutionary in the sense that they brought an operatic/theatrical approach to the music that no one tried before but guess what, the point is that they made it sell. the thing that I would like tumblr Woke People to grasp is that what made queen groundbreaking as far as Wokeness goes is that they managed to sell and become the monster-moneymaking group they were (while keeping things quality) with a frontman who was Not Heterosexual, Did Not Try To Pass For Heterosexual One Day In His Life and Never Shied Away From It. like, idk if people are aware that while the scene was way less heteronormative than they think it still wasn’t the most openly talked about topic around (I mean guys elton john did marry a woman at some point X°DDD), but going around in the seventies flaunting your non-heterosexualness around and selling millions of copies making your stage persona a selling point of your music wasn’t exactly common. like ffs one of the most famous queen songs has a video where for 3/4 of the time they’re in drag and the other part has freddie performing with the royal ballet (and guess what the song was actually written by john deacon and the idea of doing the video in drag was roger taylor’s and none of them as far as we know is Not Heterosexual, but never mind giving the rest of the band some credit when it came to Not Caring About Heteronormativity) and fine, that video was banned/controversial, but it still was a huge british hit and it’s in the top five queen songs Everyone Knows. and tbh I’m terrified of that video being shown in the biopic (which it should since the works was from ‘84 and they stop at ‘85) because I’m 100% sure that those people have no idea it exists and when they find out how long is it gonna take them to decide that IT’S PROBLEMATIC? I mean, Woke Kids on here think the rhps is problematic, I’m shuddering at the thought of what they’d think of the i want to break free video;

actually a lot of us cishet queen fans might have had a wake up call including, er, finding out certain preferences, thanks to either their music or their shows or their videos (*cough* I 100% assure you that watching roger taylor in drag was what made me realize crossdressing was my thing for good like I knew before but I didn’t actually put two and two together until I saw that video and went like ‘............. AH WELL SHIT THEN THAT’S IT FAIR ENOUGH’), and a lot of us cishet queen fans who weren’t, like, strictly playing to heteronormative rules back in the day found a lot to relate to in their music even without being queer ourselves and guess what I’ve never met a single queen *fan* who could give less of a damn about freddie’s ethnicity or orientation (as in: everyone was a-okay with it) regardless of their background. that was what made them groundbreaking and extremely important as well, because they managed to be that kind of record-selling records-breaking band while not shying away from having a Not Heterosexual frontman AND Not Heteronormative Heterosexual Band Members Who Also Didn’t Give Two Fucks About Their Lead Singer’s Sexuality so going like OMG NOW WE’RE GONNA TEACH YOU THAT FREDDIE WASN’T HETEROSEXUAL BECAUSE WE’RE WOKE is ridiculous because dearest susan, we already knew and we already were woke about that and to us he was the frontman of a band we liked for a bunch of reasons;

also I don’t think people realize that freddie was a role model/example for the entire next generation of rock bands frontmen even in genres that had zilch to do with him - I mean guys AXL ROSE had a hero-worship for freddie and sang bohemian rhapsody at the freddie memorial concert WITH ELTON JOHN and grn really aren’t the same exact sphere as queen jsyk, but if you look at axl on stage esp. when he was younger? guys. it’s obvious. like you can see the influence. but lmao, now ALL the very cishet(-ish) singers who OPENLY SAID FREDDIE INFLUENCED THEM DIDN’T KNOW ACCORDING TO TUMBLR DOT COM?

LIKE, fuck’s sake, one of freddie’s major accomplishments in that sense was to ending up being a role model for younger singers in a genre where heteronormativity is way less common than everyone thinks BUT where not many people esp. back in the day would be open about their sexuality because it still was a taboo-ish thing -- like, gender roles were a lot more blurred but you wouldn’t hear many of those people admitting openly they were bi or gay or Not Heterosexual and the entirety of the rock scene especially mainstream but also not was entirely fucking aware of it, do these people think THE FANS wouldn’t?

also, we will rock you was WRITTEN BY BRIAN MAY AND IT WAS ABOUT A FUCKING ENCORE WHERE THE FANS SURPRISED THEM AT ONE SHOW IN LIKE MID-SEVENTIES which already shows that They Know Nothing because if they think freddie wrote all the queen songs then it’s already obvious they have no fucking clue about how queen worked as a band because all the members contributed something (guys john deacon wrote at least two of their major hits, roger taylor sang on all the records along with brian may and if you hear the back harmonies on ‘39 he goes way higher than freddie and a part in seaside rendezvous has both him and freddie mimicking other instruments with their voice and you wouldn’t know if no one told you first, brian may wrote a SHITLOAD of music for queen and it was an all-four effort, not just freddie + three other generic british dudes for fuck’s sake) so like, anyone saying that is already giving ample proof that they have no idea;

now of course you can interpret it as whatever the hell you want, but assuming that all of queen’s music that might relate to queer issues was written by freddie ABOUT QUEER ISSUES (this when freddie’s main topic of interest was... not really discussing his sexuality especially in the seventies like again, I want to break free is one of the queen to-go songs everyone brings up when it comes to that topic and IT WAS WRITTEN BY SOMEONE ELSE and the video concept was THANKS TO SOMEONE ELSE) just shows that a) you don’t know shit about the band’s history, b) you’re not a fan because you didn’t even bother to look it up on wiki, c) you’re trying to look woke at all costs;

they have NO FUCKING CLUE that most people in the 70s/80s/90s in the business were NOT politically correct according to their standards LIKE LITERALLY NO ONE WAS;

goes unsaid they probably haven’t listened to one full queen album from beginning to end not even the greatest hits.

tldr: I hate that they don’t seem to realize that things existed before 2005 and that music in the 70s/80s COULD and WAS diverse and *woke* already before they were even born, I hate that they decided that ALL CISHETS DIDN’T KNOW when thank you I think even my damned parents know and they don’t listen to rock music, I hate that they decided that queen APPARENTLY DIDN’T HAVE A FANBASE BEFORE THEM (lol) or that that fanbase didn’t understand them (triple-lol), I hate that they’re reducing freddie to his sexuality when he didn’t want that in the first place, I hate that they’re falling into THE MAIN MISCONCEPTION AROUND ABOUT THIS BAND as in THAT IT WAS FREDDIE + THREE OTHER PEOPLE and not an all-around group effort of people who were friends and deeply loved/respected each other and put the same share of work into it, I hate that they moment they see the movie and are introduced to the actual music/the actual story they’ll MOST LIKELY find problematic things to wank about because like hell they wouldn’t and I hate that they’re basically pretending to give a fuck about a band that I love and have loved dearly in a very non-casual way when they actually fucking don’t.

fucking hell please never let anyone make a biopic about either springsteen or led zeppelin or other people I actually like because this is bad enough, I don’t even want to think of what tumblr ppl would say if they knew anything about any rock artist of medium-large fame back in the day. peace.

[akiiwan]

I really need to get out this experience I just had earlier tonight. Thank you for reading & holding space if you are able. ~Not sure how to CW this, still shaking, still feeling like I'm going to throw up.~ First of all, my therapist has told me that I need to practice not isolating myself & talking about the things that cause me hurt &/or trauma instead of pretending they didn't happen, stuffing them away, or trying to run from them. I have been tapering off of a psychiatric med that for me(or my brain) has not been a good experience for about 3 weeks or so. For the last few days I've found myself in crisis that can't even really be explained with life altering symptoms like self harm that I really don't feel like going further into. Not only am I in the middle of switching psychiatrists, but the next appointment I have is over 3 weeks out. The old white dude I was seeing that I transferred from is out of the country apparently & didn't properly tapper me off. When the nurse I spoke with today spoke with the only doctor who was available, they said I was having very severe (but common!!!) withdrawal symptoms from tapering off of this med. Mind you, this is after I've already self-harmed & was trying not to do it again despite feeling that way + dealing with intense suicidal ideation. ANYWAY, 10 minutes before 5pm, when the nurse & doctor are scheduled to leave, she calls me back & says that I need to get to the pharmacy immediately to pick up a 1/2 dosage to keep tapering down & would be sending it in right then. The pharmacy I like to use has limited hours, & also closes at 5pm (would Never have made it). So I reluctantly had them call it into the so-called tumwater walm*rt pharmacy since they would be open until 9pm. we get into the car & the nurse informs me that i need to hang up with her & actually call them to make sure they got it with no issues before they leave for the weekend. I did that & confirmed I was all set to go + also let the pharmacy know I was on my way when I called. Arriving at the pharmacy, driving through the parking lot at walm*rt it's literally a fucking 'maga' convention or some shit. Driving by the main entrance to park there's literally a truck with a sticker of "make america great ag*in" on their back window & an old white couple loading shit into it. I couldn't fuckin take it anymore, as we passed in the car, I rolled the window down & yelled "america was never great & will never fucking be great". Apparently that was enough to start a bunch of shit... We (my husband & I) go park just a little further away than normal bc of the snow & bc it was so busy. I stayed at our car to rant a little bit before going in to try releasing some of the anger & tension that caused, but apparently to no avail as a wmart employee (of course, some old white guy doing carts) watched me the entire time, even as I walked up to the store. Before I even got to the door, I noticed that same employee that had been watching me that I was trying to just walk past gave me the most aggressive & honestly terrifying look. While still walking, not even breaking stride to engage, I shouted at him "fuck all you maga losers" or something to that effect I really cannot remember to be honest. All I know is I know I was on a mission & actually really focused to go get my medication & get the Fuck Out. So while I defended myself from his purposefully intimidating + vicious gaze just by no longer saying silent, he got on his radio & said hell knows what on it. I continued walking fast, straight to the pharmacy with no further words, just trying to get there as fast as my body could carry me. As I walked up to the counter there was a small line with 1 person standing & (of course) a random middle-aged white guy sitting waiting in line 2nd. I politely asked him if he was in line while my husband stood in front of me & offered me to sit while he stood to wait. He confirmed being in line. Directly after, some large old white guy I've never seen (about 6'2" maybe 6'4" or something) got behind my husband. To distract myself from anxiety/everything that just happened, I started talking to him about stuff we did the day before. The old white guy that came up & stood behind my husband stood there for a few seconds, then threateningly walked up to me as I was sitting down waiting & literally interrupted me talking to my husband + said to me "you should clean up your mouth, no one wants to hear that language, you're in public"... "you should go home then if you don't like it, you fucking racist." I said. OF COURSE, of freakin course the middle aged white dude on the other side completely entered himself into this & said "how does this have *anything* to do with race?!" like he had ANY CLUE what was going on. I said one more thing like something to the effect of "yeah I know what this is really about you heard me tell whoever that you maga losers can all fuck off" to both of them - basically he had coincidentally heard what I said to those old white people or some shit idk honestly. IT GETS BETTER - (sarcasm, obviously) The store manager, assistant store manager, & the rest of his entire entourage -literally all white people- ambush us at the pharmacy & say they will not be filling my emergency script & I can leave for ""harassing their customers"". The store manager (some 100% bald middle-aged white dude who no shit literally looked like a fucking skinhead) & whoever the fuck was next to him would not even look at me nor acknowledge me As A Person. They even said right in front of me like I wasn't even there they would only speak with my husband (who also happens to be white). No shit. As my husband tries calmly to explain our/my situation, he cut him off & this dude(store manager apparently) looked at me for one split second with the most disgusted & threatening look even leaning into it, said "what is your name"? "I don't need to give you that information" I replied. He literally turned on his heel & said "fine, I'll just get it from the pharmacy" like that isn't illegal as all hell. My husband, trying to de-escalate & just get my emergency script at this point & save me from more BS told him my deadname right in front of me as the sm stormed off with his entourage. 2 employees remained. The assistant store manager - a white woman who looked confused + shocked? i guess idk I have problems reading people as someone who is neurodivergent. There was also another employee who was also a white woman who had visible tattoos. Long story short, they sit with me while my husband & myself wait once the shit ass of a store manager informed them they would be filling it bc the wmart employee with the tattoos literally confirmed EVERYTHING in my story as she walked by at the time of the old white man approaching me FIRST when I was sitting down in line. After filling my script I walked directly out the door to the EXACT same wmart employee that started all of this. He had already been tipped off not to engage or even look at me (like he did before). So instead as we walked to our car he made sure to exert his "power" over me by walking as close as possible while passing opposite directions on the sidewalk in front of the store. I wish I was making this up. Not even going to try to sugar coat it, I feel scared as hell making this post for So Many reasons. I know I am a light-skinned &/or a "white-passing" POC that does pass either way in certain situations. Being mixed with white, regardless of whether it's winter or summer, I still benefit from this viscous cycle that is white supremacy. I know that & I acknowledge that. So it just makes this post that much more awkward I suppose?, but I know I cannot invalidate my own experiences & I also cannot change how I am perceived as I move through the world. It's definitely different every damn day. So much so that I never really know where I stand or where my presence is welcome or unwelcome or what to even expect from people.

TL:DR; My friends of color in this area or passing through: stay the fuck away from the tumwater walm*rt literally at all fucking costs. it's 100% unsafe.

Thankful as all hell for the community I've chosen to surround myself with & that we've moved into an area that seems a lot safer & with a lot more POC community to connect with + continually feel safe around to help manage my C-PTSD.

[gl4ssj4r]

Hello world

I have lots of journals on this account, but I haven't written in them is ages. I went back and was looking through them, and though I don’t think my headaches (see: rl problems) are fully cured, they are MUCH better. Many events have happened. Here:

(1) I now have two AA’s, though both are in art; fine art and studio art.

(2) got in a MONUMENTAL fight with bf’s parents:

-his father decided that I should call undocumented citizens “illegal aliens,” and I refuse. When I told him this, he LOST his shit and demanded that I call them that. When I basically said go fuck yourself

-bf’s sister who I call “princess” jumped in and started telling us to shut up, then proceeded to tell me that I am lazy, I do nothing, and I don’t lift a finger. I basically spat back at her that it’s not my job to clean up after her.. bc that’s what she meant. She thinks that since she works, she shouldn’t have to do any chores. I clean my boyfriend and I’s place EVERY day, do our laundry and our dishes, he doesn’t have to do anything when he comes home from work bc I like doing that. SHE is a spoiled bitch. She was VERY shocked when I told her that I’m not cleaning up after her.

-at some point, bf’s father decided to tell me that I sleep around for a roof over my head. That is so absurd that I actually sporfled.. then I called him disgusting. I was really working to not say “no I only get it from your son- he’s amazing in bed and I love his dick.” What an idiot. He even said that bf is not kind anymore bc of me. No, narc, he just knows what you are now and doesn’t take your garbage anymore.

-I then went outside at which point I went to get Jack (Jack is our pupper) who was out back playing with the other dogs, I had NO problem with bf’s mother at that point (well, in this instance), and she said something like “I told you not to keep talking.” I snapped. I said “maybe YOU want to walk on eggshells around him and give in to his bs but I never will.” I don’t recall what happened after that, but she ended up calling me a bitch and telling me to go back to North Carolina. I was told, by her, that I told her I hope she dies. She was looking at having cancer.. and she IS my bf’s mother. I had JUST lost a friend to cancer. I would NEVER wish that on her. Princess said she heard it but she also says that books end differently than they did and that people say things they didn’t. This was in May 2019. I haven’t spoken to them since. And after looking at my old journals, I remember why. In order to please them, I started taking on their stupid shit, but when I realized it, I stopped. I started sounding racist, sexist, discriminatory. I lied about my sexuality. Let’s just say I think I understand hateful people now.. they may not truly think what they say, they may have taken on other people’s bs to survive and get by without being abused. I came out of it, thank God, as did bf.. but it’s scary how you will just.. take on mindsets to avoid conflict. I am.. so sorry for all of the hate I put out there. People are right though, if someone is acting angry and hateful, it’s really something to do with their life.. not yours. I was absolutely miserable.

Oh and through all this I finally get it.. his father is a narcissist, his mother is an enabler, and his sister is a golden child/flying monkey. Her boyfriend also plays flying monkey sometimes, probably also to keep the peace. He’s the perfect enabler/flying monkey bc his own parents molded him into one. My boyfriend, of course, is the scapegoat. This really explains everything.

(3) My attitude and outlook on life isn’t perfect, but I feel a LOT better than those entries I was reading earlier.

(4) Needless to say, we plan to move. No, really. We went to Portland, OR, to see what’s up there. We liked it a lot. We’re having a hard time though bc.. living in a small town after San Diego is going to take some adjusting. But we love the rain. We may even move out of the country.

(5) Seeing those old journals, my God.. after over a year of not speaking to them and pretending they don’t exist.. I feel so much better. :)

(6) Oh and the greatest part of all, on SO MANY LEVELS, I GOT INTO SDSU. FINALLY. I spent last year there.. made a comic! Got through the first two semesters with a 3.5! I got the news RIGHT AFTER princess told me I didn’t do shit.. she couldn’t get into SDSU lol...

lololol...

ok sorry. I guess.

(7) I will be doing random Covid-19 updates.. bc this shit is scary.

(8) I am BUSTING ASS to promote my art/be self supportive. I missed journaling.

[travellers-survivor-old-west]

Episode 4: “Just gotta try to wiggle myself in some where”- Austin

I kinda wish our tribe would lose just so I could see where the lines are tbh. Also I have a bad feeling that at a swap/merge our tribe is gonna be picked off because we’re going in with the most numbers and on a base level that’s dangerous; however, I do think it could be deeper than that because of the preconceived relationships and I’m looking forward to seeing who goes home tonight and where we go from here.

This round was a little wild for me. Austin has been my fave since the beginning and we finally created an alliance. We both liked eve so that was easy but we wanted one more person. This is where things got a little complicated. Him and eve both liked isaac but honestly i wasnt feeling isaac and love pat. But i didnt want to push too hard so we just went ahead with isaac. 

BUT we also talked to pat and will have ANOTHER alliance with him (so austin, pat and me). SO basically im working with everyone right now except keaton. Im glad our tribe has been killing it because that means no TC wooo 

We tribe swapped so that is fun. It's always interesting to have a switch up. I have still yet to be screwed by a tribe swap in my entire history of playing ORGs which is something I am happy with. This is one of the best iterations of a tribe I can think of actually. I can forge a closer bond with Xander and Dylan, because now if we lose I won't need to vote one of them out, they become my core 3. So, right after the swap I made an OG Malakoff chat with myself, Xander, and Dylan. I just wanted the immediacy to show that I was serious in wanting to stick to that, which I am. I have communicated several times that I want to work with Isaac, so ideally Austin will go in the event that we lose. I feel bad because he is a sweetheart, but he doesn't fit into my strategy, and if anyone understands game being game, he does.

I love my new tribe??? Not only is nick still here so that gives me a safety net, the sammy I like is here. Pat is here. No idea who eve is but that’s okay too. I’m loving this. Inb4 I get voted out next Bc they actually really fucking hate me :^). Byebye payton it was nice kinda knowing you? Hello ~hopefully~ friends <3

I forgot Austin has a date with Mary Jane daily so Im gonna have to cut him some slack.

Tribe swap....just what I didn't want to happen . I dont ha e my #1 ashley with me but at least I got issac here. Jared is on my tribe now too so that could go either way for me because he knows how I play the game. Gonna have to pull something out if my ass here .

This is for Alyssa you dumb ugly fat white bitch why you keep asking me for a confessional with trifling dirty white racist ass big fat bitch x Anyways. Made an alliance with Pat and Sammy! V excited to work with them but we’re snapping in immunity so, I don’t see why we would need to vote off Vi.... I mean someone at tribal! Hehe

Well....we got our last handed to us. I'm not happy going to tribal bc I feel I'll be the one going. I talk with jared and issac the most but I feel jared will stick with xander and dylan. Just gotta try to wiggle myself in some where.

I have been busy the past couple of days so this challenge being a endurance/speed comp was a struggle. And it looks like my team didn't do much. To help... It's fine we can get out one of these other two dead weights. Speaking of them. Im glad the swap merged me with two allies but the other two just suck to talk to... And that's coming from me .. Jess knows what I'm talking about. Anyways I don't want them here and want them gone. As for my allies. I like Jared a lot we are getting along and enjoying ourselves. He's definitely the one I trust most in this game and hopefully it gets me to merge where I can start phase 2 and hopefully get far. Dylan is fine .. he's offline a lot but he's from old tribe so like it helps. 

Just finished the challenge, OH MY GOD i suck at trivia but thankfully sammy snapped and we won, thank u sammy love u so much!!! Still dont believe he is straight tho x IM JOKING PLS DONT KILL MEDFHNSJFDH

I hate confessions. That’s my confession for the round... jkjk. Eh there isn’t much to talk about now that it’s tribal time. I hope whoever from our og tribe stays safe but I forgot who is there so oops. Sammy killed it. I still call bs on the centipede question but oh well. It wouldn’t have changed the result. It would have just made the gap close by 1. 

LOVE MY NEW TRIBE. So happy we swapped. I’m with actual love of my life ASHLEY!!! And Chloe is amazing too. Aidan popped off in the challenge. Keaton is Keaton. This is a good group and I’m glad they did rlly well in the challenge. I love this kind of thing but I wasn’t able to constantly be on my phone all weekend bc that’s rude :( so I’m glad it worked out. Hoping the tribe swap works out in our favor and Xander jared and Dylan stay together for the vote. Idk if Isaac and jared are friends??? I hope Isaac leaves because he knows I’m a ‘threat’ in games and because I think Ashley yelled at him once. Idk who Austin is but Ashley likes him. But idk how likely that is if Isaac and jared have a connection. As long as jared stays safe ifgaf who leaves.

Yowza. We got absolutely wrecked in the challlenge. I don't WANT to lose any challenges, but I believe in the long run I should be happy to take this L. As another way to show my loyalty, I decided to give my idol progress in the chat with Xander and Dylan. I noticed Dylan never reciprocated so that gives me 1 reason to be wary. Then, Dylan posted a very inappropriate joke in the tribe chat in reference to Survivor Thailand, and the word "rape" was used, so that was the 2nd thing to make me uneasy. At first, Dylan and Xander had no opinion on who to vote, so I voiced that I would like to vote Austin- then Dylan remembered who Isaac is and said "he can go." I eventually got things back on track to target Austin, but Dylan better be careful- it's 3 strikes and you're out with me. I have a good relationship with Isaac so I wouldn't be surprised to see Dylan go if we lose again.

Day 9 on the survivor tribe. My thoughts are about toes and only toes. They are consuming my entire day. I exist merely to think of toes. 

Also Chloe...

Okay so I’m just gonna throw down some of my thoughts right now since I’ve been very quiet in confessionals. I fucking hate these small ass fucking tribes. It makes the thought of going to tribal terrifying because your odds of going home are increased. Since the swap ive actually really been enjoying my time, I really like my new tribe and I feel I can actually connect with these people better than on my first tribe. I am glad to actually have Aidan with me because he’s like THE person I want to work with from my og tribe, along with Vi. I still have my reservations on Nick even though I think he’s nice I can’t trust him as far as I could throw him. I really feel that the trivia challenge brought us closer together as a tribe since what’s a better bonding experience than yelling at Jess that she’s wrong 50 times in one day. I think we’re all collectively quite strong and I really hope that means we can slide past for a while without going to tribal. 

Honestly i always forget what i confess from last time but i still think I’m in a good position in the game. However I really do not want to go to tribal because I don’t want to show my cards. Eve and Pat both want me to work with them so we have an alliance and then Vi and Nick approached me and want to work with me as well. This was completely surprising to me bc I felt as if I would just be an easy vote out if we were to go to tribal since I’m a lone wolf. However I’m in the middle and I feel somewhat powerful knowing that people want to keep me and want to work with me. Me and nick have had a rocky relationship in past games but i think he’s a great person. He’s just a wildcard. I love vi and i think she’s the sweetest person to have ever existed but my gut is telling me to work with pat and Eve atleast for the first vote. Hopefully I don’t have to make the decision but who knows. That’s all I have for now other than I think the idol system isn’t anything I keep getting zapped. I feel like a fly in a southern home...ZAP.

I couldn’t remember the day so I put 69. I hate this tribe with my whole heart and my whole bussy. Jared is the only one giving me any sort of shot at making it passed this round. Austin is a slime ball who will do anything to save his own skin, Xander is dead apparently, and Dylan has been tracking down places where famous people died. I feel like this is my own personal hell and while I’ve been assured that Austin is going home (which I wouldn’t be surprised was a lie) I still have to make a swap or a merge and with the clowns on this tribe being inactive and never talking about anything but Star Wars or not talking at all I don’t know how possible it is to win a goddamn challenge. 

*insert Da'vonne pretends to be shoocked gif at a swap* Since it didn't happen at 16 I wasn't surprised too see it at 15 but I'm glad because three tribes provides for much more buffer. My initial reaction to my tribe was positive as I saw that I had Chloe and three new people in the mix. I'm not gonna lie that I was getting bored on my old tribe but I do hope that Nick is doing alright. He's one ally that I'd love to connect with again... Vi is alright too but I don't know how strong of a connection we fostered. First impressions of my new tribemates: Keaton - I heard he was fucking with my friend in another game so my guard was up but I tried and he seems aloof and random with his contributions but it makes sense since he's playing 4 games at once. Will probably work off of the others who contribute in challenges? We'll see. Ashley - Sweet and seems like a hard worker. Not too much of a read on her yet Owen - He seems nice and genuine but not much of a read from a game perspective yet. It seems the split is 2-2-1 on my tribe from previous tribes but I don't know how strict to tribal lines people are going to play but I can feel some aloofness with Keaton and Ashley is traveling so... that's that on that. If we were going to tribal I have no idea what the fuck would happen but I want to strengthen connections. Honestly I think we can make it to the merge without hitting an elimination but who knows. THANKFULLLLLLLY my ass had a lucky night on the railroads and jumped to spot number fifty and apparently found a STEAL A VOTE. This is what I DESERVE. Thank you Old West Gods for blessing me, the star, with this iconic power. I'm glad I have it in my back pocket and I'm not telling a fucking soul. If it needs to be used, it will be flaunted and I will pop shit. Hopefully I can save it for after merge but if I need to control a pre-merge vote just to get my way, I'm going to do it. 

https://soundcloud.com/user-327042896/dylan-ep-2

[jongsooyah]

Genuine question, what makes the u think that Kai/soo are more than just good friends and a bit of? Is it the jagiya moment?

LMAO no! i’ve been saying kd is legit since years ago, evenbefore i found out about kfans analysis about jagiya. 

kd is more than jagiya moment, kd is more than one (1) moment. if youthink the majority of kd shippers say kd is dating cuz of solelythat one particular moment, u r wrong m8.

it’s actually a built-up kind of thing (?), when i firstjoined the fandom i actually thought “kd is just broz 5ever” but thisthought didn’t last long bc the fandom enthusiasm got me curious about kd andafter i tracked back their old moment~recent ones i was like “ok, thesedudes definitely have something going on”. 

another factor that makes me v sure is theirenvironment/surrounding. this one actually makes everything more interestingand obvious, at least for me.

some of the members have reacted to them….. ~strangely~.strange bc kd is supposedly just another ~kpop boyband’s otp~ butmembers reactions tell the opposite. kjm often looks disapproving when kdhappens,pcy often cockblocks kd and makes everything awkward, staffs have openly eyed them (dis n dis). 

dont forget xc jagi moment appeared right after ifans made a huge deal about jisaying this word to call ks and then we also have xc suddenly saying that they’re the closest ones in eksoh as if they were trying to debunk pcy & kji statements(in 2014 & 2015); “kd is the closest ones in the group”. oh there’s also this one when bo-mi (from a pink) reacted to them, she giggled once kd pic appeared on the screen while other mc’s looked lost.

there’s also kxk that actually makes kd moreprominent. thx to kxk i actually know what to label them now cuz b4 i used to say “kd isn’t platonic”. i wasn’t sure what rs they had, i was only sure that “these 2 r def not just friends” but kxk made some ppl blabber (cuz wuts the point of keeping hush hush, kxk is ~dating~ anyway in public eyes & kd shippers r branded as delulu & scums™ anyways so… lel). kd looked angsty and awkward af during the period after kxk, thankfully it didn’t last long. they couldn’t even make a eyecontact when they had concert in shenyang (ks flinched when jilooked at him and he quickly looked away, theres a vid of this but my tag is amess so i cant find it), they sang along to that angsty song, they looked teary eyed on the night the ~news~ got revealed (some ppl said ks cried after this event and many actually saw it but cuz some of his stans gonna hellbent defending about how this isn’t true even thothe previews of this night show us how watery his eyes were so it kinda backsup the rumor. let’s just pretend i never said anything here lol)

there are other stuffs too like that 2012 insider post(saying kxk is planned and kji actually doesn’t like fanservice otp bs yet hebasically pairs himself up w/ dks all the fkcing time like have u seen theirrecent moments?) and the timing of the gay b.i’s match w/ kd acted strangely(2015~2016 period) but im too lazy to explain these. 

and tbh kd themselves r actually obvious. ppl who have gone to their concert often say how different the ~atmosphere~ that surrounds kd, as if theyre in their own bubble. even non shippers have said the similar thing before. plus they often being glued to each other, like there’s magnet or something that pull them towards each other lol. 

kji also has several times pushed other member away from ks, like when they were in airport, kji nudged pcy so he could hold ks shoulders, when they were in smtown’16 kji followed se-soo around & kinda tried to separate them. dks looked worried when kji got injured & he has helped kji alot when this happened. he also has mentioned kji for several times even tho no one literally asked, he even whined bc kji didnt watch his drama (this happened during pure love interview, dks was like “y ji doesnt watch my drama?? im actually anticipating his upcoming drama [choco-bank] but he doesnt watch mine :(”). 

while kji always chooses ks as his #1 and has often defended him when ppl said “ks is quiet” (”he’s not quiet u only need to know how to talk to him uwu”) or when ppl said “ks is not cute” (dks got the lowest percentage cuz members didnt vote for him as cute member but kji chose dks as the cutest #1). don’t forget kji is basically dks spokesman; when dks gets asked he would answer it for him. when dks is nervous kji would calm him down (by rubbing dks’ back or arm). i still can add more but this is already really long and i kinda h8 myself for spending too much time/energy writing this.

basically, none of those stuffs would’ve happened if kd werejust ~broz 5ever~, everything that has happened leads me to theconclusion that they’re together. 

sorry 4 long answer btw.

[smittenwithlouis]

Best of the 🦇 Fic

Aka Waiting On You by @lads-laddylads​

This is easily one of my favorite fics so I’ve compiled some of my favorite quotes, lines, and moments from this masterpiece. Enjoy!

⚰️ [Spoiler Warning!] 💉 

“You’re feisty for someone so small” [Definition of Louis Tomlinson right here ijs :/]

Harry bites the way he talks, and walks, and kisses, with an intensity that’s somehow on the right side of too much, overwhelming without being overbearing. [ Gentle 🦇 lover Harry tho...need I say more?]

¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡WALL SEX!!!!!!!!!!

“What if he saw you up against the wall and taking my cock like this, this desperate for it after you tried so hard to pretend you weren’t interested?” [Lmao gentle lover but then he a nasty™ exhibitionist kinky bastard...excuse me but like...sign me tf up :/ also Niall would be out there pulling a Regina George’s Mom move with a video camera. Lets be real...aslo me as Niall]

"Please, c’mon, bite me again,”....“Baby, I don’t need more—” Harry begins .....”No, I need it, please, Harry, just—” Louis says, and when he sees Harry’s fangs descend, he feels like he could cry with relief [Honestly this scene killed me bc like LMAO he’s gagging to be bitten like...let that sink in for a sec and then you have 🦇 Harry like no no baby I’m good like u don’t gotta but Louis is like BINCH this for my pleasure not u tf...Iconic]

Louis turns around, he sees his clothing from the club last night in a neatly folded pile on the floor [Harry deadass fucking folded Louis’ clothes before he left. Like why is this such a Harry thing to do?When will your one night stand EVER, Lmao I HATE]

They may start humping each other with the next few minutes, and Louis wants to tell them to leave room for Jesus [Louis is such a little binch...why didn’t he leave room for J when he was dry humping Harry at the club?...smh]

“You’re all so fucking full of yourselves and it disgusts me.”....“You were so fucking full of me last week and you didn’t seem disgusted by that” [I SCREAMED SO LOUD LMAOOOOO. Honestly. I’m here for Harry calling out Louis in all his bs. This was iconic]

“Because people get off on being bitten? It’s like...a sexual thing...“Mmmm, no, that’s pretty much just you” [Imagine being that deep in denial or having no once of self awareness. Like kinda felt bad that he didn’t realize his own damn kink but LMAO now all his friends know he gets off on being bitten. Oh Louis hahahaha. Also, Harry being all smug about it. BYE]

Louis gently burrows his feet under Harry’s thigh. It keeps his toes warm [This was just so cute and super relatable cause I literally do the same thing rip]

A young vampire who looks like he’d rather be actually dead than undead and working at Panera [This line LMAO. Idk if many people appreciate this type of humor but I do. I giggled so much]

“I’m a cop and I could report this restaurant for at least three health code violations” [Hahaha he’s so endearing and so aggravating at the same time. But its so cute how he does shit like this and you know on the surface it pisses Louis off but in reality he’s so endeared by it. I’m here for Harry cheating to get what he wants tbh]

“Up we go” Harry says [STOP this was so cute! Literally all I pictured was that gif of that bodyguard picking Louis up like he weighed nothing :’) my smol son...bless him]

“Vampires don’t even fucking sweat” Louis mutters to himself angrily [Okay but how iconic was this scene? Harry is such a damn tease. Louis had been fantasizing about H covered in oil and as if H KNEW he was like I don’t got oil but this water will do...like LMAO. So Louis being sexually frustrated and grumpy like a kitten with a “🦇s don’t sweat” was just so funny lol]

“Are we — are we gonna have sex now?” Louis asks when Harry lays him down.Harry laughs, and that seems rude. Louis and Harry have had sex before, so why not have it again? Louis is in his bed, after all, so he doesn’t understand why Harry is trying to play hard to get. Why else would Louis be in his bed?Louis feels his eyes slipping closed, but he’s going to ask these questions because he wants answers.“Just go to sleep, baby,” Harry says softly, and no. No, Louis isn’t going to do that [The damn nerve Louis has to say Harry is the one playing hard to get BOI lol. But like this scene is so endearing. Like, Harry just saved his ass and Louis is so damn drunk and HARRY CALLED HIM BABY. Ugh its disgustingly sweet. I love it :’)]

“Smaller than I remember,” Louis says, swallowing hard. Harry’s smirk only widens [I’m that gif of that dude looking into the camera like I’m in the office. Like, Louis trying to pretend like Harry doesn’t have a monster**** and didn’t get fucked for an inch of his life is so fucking petty and hilariously embarrassing lol]

“So, I was thinking that we should have sex,” Louis says suddenly, and Harry chokes on his drink [This was so abrupt and just lololol he was so done with being sexually frustrated this was also when I screamed FINALLY BINCH]

¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡HANDCUFF SEX!!!!!!!!!!

“I want to watch the Vampire Diaries,” Louis decides finally [need I say more lmaooo]

He reaches for Harry. Harry opens his arms to Louis immediately, burying his face into Louis’ neck, and Louis shivers slightly, rubbing at Harry’s back [this was such a small and tender moment. It was just so cute since up to this point they had rarely been really affectionate like this it just made me feel all asdfghjkl...also tho I felt bad for Niel]

Louis can’t help but scoot closer to him, wrapping his arms around Harry’s torso and clinging to him like a koala bear [this was just cute okay???]

Finally, Harry huffs out a sigh and leans in, giving Louis a kiss on his cheekbone [I live for small little moments like this FUCK ME UP with emotions and feelings rip]

"I have Steve talking about pterodactyl porn, I have Niall speculating about whether it’s legal to marry ducks in the District of Colombia" [shit like this makes me side eye writers tbh like...now I know u’ve seen or talked about some weird shit. Like, Emma how did u even come up with this??? How much pterodactyl porn have u watched? like...I’m not judging u or nuffin but lowkey I’m like how much of a freak is she? Ya feel me? Get back to me on this lmao I need explanations....]

Harry’s shirt is riding up slightly, exposing the trail of hair that leads into Harry’s boxers, and there’s a small bit of a drool pooling on Harry’s skin. Oops [Excuse me but like this is so cute? Louis droolin on Harry...as gross asit may be like...how endearing tho? Again little shit like this is what makes me adore fics so much. Bless]

“Why aren’t you into me?” The words burst out of Louis suddenly, and that definitely wasn’t what he meant to say [This made me feel so asdfghjkl for Louis cause like I felt bad but also it was his fault in the first place but again with him bursting out with his feelings is so cute]

“I was waiting on you,” Harry says simply, and Louis’ heart skips a beat [I SCREAMED SO LOUD LIKE YALL HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I LOVE WHEN AUTHORS PUT THE TITLE IN THEIR STORY OR LIKE THE TITLE COMES FROMA LINE IN THE STORY. BLESS UP]

“I can’t believe you thought I didn’t want you,” Harry says, pulling away just enough to speak. “Do you think I handcuff all of my friends and let them ride me on the sofa?” His eyes are sparkling [Honestly Louis...like wyd boi]

Louis can tell that even in the throes of pleasure, Harry’s first concern is making sure Louis doesn’t get hurt [Gentle 🦇 lover Harry at it again]

Harry bites into Louis’ left ass cheek with his fangs, and Louis cries out loudly enough that he’d be concerned for Harry’s neighbors if he cared about anything other than this right now [How much nastier™ can this get tho? BYE]

Harry reaches his finger down Louis’ crack, teasing gently, but he can’t quite reach where he wants to touch. He makes a frustrated noise and hitches Louis’ leg up, forcing Louis to wrap his arms around Harry’s neck until he’s up against the wall yet again [Y’ALL MOTHERFUCKERS OUT IN PUBLIC LIKE WYD??? LEAVE ROOM FOR JESUS!! So, Harry loves to have Louis pinned to walls and lives for the exhibitionism...me as H tbh]

“I didn’t even hear the goddamn door open,” Louis mutters. “But what’s your excuse? You have super hearing!” [He was to busy fingering u in the bathroom hallway NOT EVEN IN THE BATHROOM but the damn hallway!! :/ Also, did he even wash his hands afterwards? Harry over there talking about health code violations to the wanting to be dead, undead Panera boy but he over here fingering Louis’ ass and not even washin his hands afterwards...ya nasty]

Harry goes full on drama with it and dips Louis right there in the middle of the restaurant [Louis as if ur life doesn’t revolve around drama...sit yo big ass down istg...also this was extra af but cute af so like I’m here for this]

He wraps his larger pinky around Louis’ smaller one as he speaks, and Louis gives him a small smile and nods [THIS IS LOWKEY SUBLIMINAL ADVERTISING FOR PNL. YOU AIN’T SLICK BINCH. I SEE U. Anyways, y’all can read Pinkies Never Lie HERE. Good shit. Good shit...lots of hot sex especially H wearing his rings fingering Louis scene...ijs. This scene was cute too btw]

It was raining that day, and in Louis’ mind’s eye, every rain droplet that hit the car window was there to cleanse him of everything that he had been with Luke [Literally look can CHOKE but I liked this sentence quite a lot]

“And in the last ten minutes, I’ve revised my opinion on your intelligence quite a bit, so for it to go even lower is saying something" [Listen, Nick being involved was quite a shock I will admit...but also he was literally so dumb af in this scene and I love that Harry told him so lololol]

“Louis,” Harry says, and Louis forces his eyes open again. “I love you. I love you so much.” “I love you too,” Louis says, voice quiet and raspy from the damage done to his neck. “Yeah?” Harry says, smiling as he wipes some blood from the corner of Louis’ mouth. “Don’t get cocky about it,” Louis says. His vision is spotty and Harry’s voice sounds very far away. Harry laughs, eyes still wet with tears. “You hadn’t said. Before.” “I was waiting on you,” Louis says, a small smile on his face, echoing what Harry had once said to him [This fucking scene ripped my heart out like wtf SO ASDFGHJKL!!!!!!!!!!!! Like this would be the time they said I love you. I HATE but like I love all at once??? and Like this time Louis was waiting on Harry and IM A MESS FUCC U EMMA U SUCC!!!]

Louis can feel Harry’s fingers tracing a three on his good wrist, and he realizes suddenly that he’s not drawing a three, that he was never drawing a three. He’s drawing a heart [THIS. JFC. Honestly Emma you’re such a sapp...this was so fucking cute and fluffy and asdfghjkl FUCC U]

“But don’t pull a stunt like that ever again,” James says, smiling ear to ear. “I don’t need my lead detective to be the first vampire to die of a heart attack in the history of vampirism” [Lmao me as James...honestly the way Louis attracts trouble...Harry would get a damn heart attack lol]

“Why does everyone always think that arguing is our version of a mating ritual" [Is this binch forreal??? Cause it literally was...they’re bickering and arguing was all foreplay tbh. LOLOLOL]

“Oh Luke,” he says, voice amused. “You still don’t get it. I figured out for myself that I was worth something long before I even met Harry. He was just the first vampire I’d met in a while who believed it too” [YASSSSSSSSS BINCH. THIS RIGHT HERE!!!! IS SO IMPORTANT.SO SO SOOOO IMPORTANT!!! HE DON’T NEED NO ONE TO REALIZE AND KNOW HE’S WORTH IT]

While Harry gets their satanic ritual or whatever it is he’s aiming for going [Hahahaha again with this type of humor. I LOVEEEE]

“A lifetime with you is never going to feel like enough,” Harry says honestly” ... “I guess it’s good that you’re going to have me for longer than that, then,” Louis says [LOUIS GONNA BE A VAMP!!!! FOREVER TOGETHER IM SO HAPPY!!! Also, can we get a sequel? drabble? SUMFFIN?? I vote for hot and hard 🦇 sex ayeee!]

“We were worth the wait” Louis clarifies finally [BINCH FUCK U IMA MESSSSSSSS]

Anyways, this is long af and totally unnecessary but I enjoyed reading this SO DAMN MUCH. I’m in love with this fic. There was a little bit of everything I enjoy reading. I’m still a bit annoyed that I didn’t guess Nick was the second person involved...I was always side eyeing Jeff just cause he didn’t do shit in this fic (funny how art imitates real life lol) and thought it would of been a big WTF lol. Emma, I know this fic was a nightmare at times to write but thank you so much for writing this. Especially bc it was somewhat out of your comfort zone and stuff so I really appreciate it. Okay, Imma stop being sappy and shit but you know how much my weird ass adores fics like this. So, THANK YOU! 

Everyone please go read the 🦇 fic if ya haven’t already and if you have...READ IT AGAIN. 

Xx.

[intothespideyverses]

what I imagine going down next season (as a result of everything that happened in sesson 3) warning for discussion of suicide/self-harm:

SHINY

-ok since the whole sex subplot was never really resolved (they SAID they talked but we didnt see shit so) I think this would be a good time to introduce ace!Shay. Now another part of me would also like for shiny to have sex just so esme could stop fucking with m'daughter's head but shay seemed way too opposed to the idea of sex in general (and not in a nervous way, but in a "why would I ever have sex?" kinda way). And maybe once Shay's comfortable with being ace she can just deck esme right in the nose idc idc idc she had it coming! Fuck a $230 skirt bih! Tiny would be weirded out and probably disappointed at first but bc he’s literally the perfect bf he'd come around eventually. Hopefully they could highlight that there are ways to be intimate in a relationship w/o having sex. I just want shiny happiness and for people (lola up until she apologized, esme) to stop going out of their way to make shay feel so insecure and then getting mad at her when she reacts to their bs.

-speaking of which as much as I hate to see her miserable I think shay needs an angsty storyline. She solves her problems so quickly and efficiently, we never even see the emotions she must be going through. i don’t think her being ace would cause her too much stress, she'd do her research for a bit, have a fight with tiny about it (maybe even suggest to keep the relationship open, which would offend tiny) but other than that the real source of angst would come from esme. lets say esme finds out, y’all already know she would never let shay hear the end of it. that, on top of esme being EVERYWHERE and the two of them competing to be both the smartest and most athletic girl in school, would probably really get to shay's psyche. maybe esme goes too far one day, and shay just says fuck it and throws hands?? or maybe she breaks her phone?? idk something rly impulsive bc shay doesn't normally make impulsive decisions. of course esme makes shay out to be the irrational one and shay tries to quit the track team, her grades start slipping, etc etc. esme gets bored without having someone to compete against, or maybe she notices the change in shay's demeanor (and bc of maya’s suicide attempt and her mom) is afraid she pushed shay over the edge. they talk after class one day, esme still being bitchy but by the end a little teary eyed. I think their talk would be reminiscent of anya and holly j in season 8?? 9?? where anya was all like "why are you so mean to me" and hj's like "bc u let me bitch :)" so esme CLEARLY isn't gonna take any real responsibility for bullying shay but shay decides that shes NOT gonna be the bigger person for once. Idk how this would end but I definitely want shay to be more confident by the end, and for esme to learn when to stand down.

-Tiny's line about shay just seeing him as a "good nerd boy" rly stuck out to me. How much does shay know about tiny's past?? This definitely has to be brought up at some point, and I really thought the show would've mentioned that but w/e. Shay probably knows SOMETHING about the gang stuff but not how far it goes, or his family, etc. Tiny has an image that he keeps from everyone else but saves only for shay, which is adorable (they have boggle ((is that like scrabble???)) dates...need me a freak like that) but at some point shays gonna have to see the rest of him. Tiny is tired of shay assuming so much about his intentions too. That and shay not wanting sex period will (in my vision for s4) definitely be the biggest conflicts for shiny, but they'll work through them quickly bc unlike every other couple on this show they actually know how to communicate :)

-also how does tiny feel about the crash?? he looked all the way fucked up when they rushed him into the hospital so...he has to have some sorta trauma from that come on now

TRILES/MOLA

-this is gonna be messy lol. triles and mola are two very polarizing ships so we already kno theres gonna be some mess once tristans back at school. tristan may have been all "okay w/e idc" at the play but we all know once his petty ass is able to speak he's gonna go out of his way to make lolas life living hell. its truly gonna be slutshaming for days, and lets not forget the biphobia. he wont really direct any anger at miles, except tight-lipped quickly concealed bitterness. i can already picture these scenes yall like this is literally what is gonna happen WATCH.

-miles is of course gonna still feel guilty about the whole knocking her up thing, and he rly does love her and values her friendship (their friendship was so cute) so he's gonna want to keep hanging out with her (it’ll start off with just checking up on her every now and then like craig after manny’s abortion, but it’ll grow to miles getting an actual job at lola’s, etc). tristan will be okay with this on the surface but as soon as he and lola are alone (maybe tris is @ the hollingsworth household while lolas there for frankie or hell even miles and miles leaves to get some snacks or something) tristan just lays into her!! on some "you were NOTHING to him" shit. on some "you tried to trap him with a baby" shit!! some “he never loved you, just pitied you” shit!!!! and then tris is all back to smiles the second miles comes back. lola’s on the verge of tears but keeps this to herself cause she doesnt want to start drama so soon after tristan coming back and bc she loves miles too much etc etc. miles of course eventually finds out, and he and tris have the fight of the century where it ALL comes out.

-now I just read a list of PERFECT mola headcanons (by @beach-city-mystery-girl!) that should definitely happen throughout the season! idk if triles will stay together or if mola becomes official but at some point someones gonna be all "make. a. DECISION" at miles so!!

-lola should also find value in being alone and being comfortable with herself. she and yael become genuine friends (bc she needs someone outside of frankie and shay and miles) and form a weird almost symbiotic relationship where they give each other advice on things the other lacks. baaz flips between trying to flirt with her and making insensitive comments about her abortion. lola finally sets him straight for once and for all. 

-maybe something goes down at the restaurant? idk I just started caring about lola’s existence yesterday idk how this goes

-I think frankie eventually finds out that miles and lola hooked up, idk how but she does and she’s not happy about it yikes.

-actually after just reading another great post (by tristanmiligay), a lot of tristan’s insecurities could also lie in the fact that he’s disabled now. maybe miles rly wants to get tris up on his feet again and do something FUN and EXCITING but homeboi literally just got out of a coma and can’t make it, so I can see miles asking lola to go instead (like maybe its a couples thing and he already reserved it or w/e) and that kinda sets tristan off the first time. he’ll probably try to force himself to heal faster, maybe even injuring himself further in the process? he’s gonna have a lot of self-doubt and internalized ableism like the post said :/, and all of that is gonna manifest in hate for lola. 

ZASHA/GRONAH (is that what we're calling it??) 

-okay so this section is kinda tied into the maya section and rly just centered around grace so yeah. but thats mainly bc there wont rly be any drama between zasha (except like normal preparing for college type stuff, like zoe wants to go to some rly good school far away and rasha wants to stay in toronto bc she just got there).

-zoe's pretending to be fine with getting kicked out but its absolutely destroying her on the inside. she and her mom were so close despite everything. zoe starts going thru mad identity issues bc everything about her was sculpted by her mom. if shes not in her life anymore then who is she? she keeps replaying "i love you despite who you are" in her head and its killing her. she sometimes sneaks out of grace's room at night and leaves voice messages on her moms phone (which ms. Rivas never responds to) and ends every night crying on the couch. grace grows super concerned for her but has no idea how to balance both helping maya out and helping zoe. one day at school grace tries to confront zoe about the voicemails but zoe brushes it off and says something cute like "being with rasha makes it all worth it" but grace is still like 👀.

-grace then moves on to trying to help maya but maya is sick and tired of everyone walking on eggshells around her and she tells grace shes fine and that she needs to back off, but grace knows somethings still off. later that day she spots zoe in the student council office trying to call her mom and leaving an angry voicemail, ripping mama rivas to shreds!! "you were never a good mother, a mother who cant love her own daughter shouldnt even be having kids, i hate you, go to hell" type of shit. at the last minute she realizes she doesnt mean half of that (or she does mean it but that scares her) and tries to backtrack but by then the voicemail's already been sent. zoe starts freaking out and crying again and leaves another one like "im sorry I didnt mean any of that please just let me come back. Im sorry, im sorry, im sorry" like just saying sorry over and over again, and grace finally steps in like "sorry for the voicemail or sorry for being gay?" and confronts zoe again. zoe tries to get the attention off of her by asking about maya and grace is like "she's 'fine' just like how you're 'fine'. cut the bs binch" or whatever and zoe breaks all the way down, but before grace can comfort her she sees maya and esme fighting outside the office and she runs out to stop it. zoe, now that shes alone and still crying, contemplates self harming again (im gonna end this here cause this is long enough I deadass would write this whole episode if I could)

-anyway juggling between her upcoming surgery, college apps, and two lowkey suicidal best friends, grace is stressed tf out. this is where gronah steps in lol. i dont care much about jonah but i do know hes much more interesting and likeable when he's with grace. he gives her advice and shit and they go on a bunch of golfing dates, grace maybe takes him to yoga or something, they help each other with college apps, and well gronah happens! jonah basically goes from boring to manic pixie dream boy who tries to show grace that life is worth living and blah blah yall know the drill

-rasha needs a plot outside of zoe and i think her pursuing acting could be a thing!! she goes out to casting calls but every director says something along the line of "we just...envisioned someone else for the role" or "we dont rly think you'd...fit" bc shes muslim and then the one time she gets picked up for a student film, its about a terrorist attack and rasha doesnt realize until she shows up to rehearsal. she goes off on the director (and reminds her that most terrorist attacks are domestic lol) and runs off to goldi and they talk. maybe she tries to write her own webseries (probably with the help of winston) and it becomes a hit!! maybe we could have a probably cheesy as hell famous youtuber plot (and vijay gets jealous lol) and they have some sorta subscriber war where everyones taking sides. baaz, yael, and hunter try to sabotage rasha's show and bc our girl loves scheming she hits them back even harder :).

-also maybe we find out what happens to her friend back in syria? i dont want her to have too many depressing plots so maybe her friend is okay physically but not mentally and she has to deal with that :(

MAYA

-so like I already said maya's done with everyone bullshitting her and being overbearingly nice, so she starts closing herself off. this just makes everyone even more worried tho, so she forces herself back into music and her studies. grace and jonah are all over her, zig always looks guilty as fuck and treats her like a baby, miles forgot she existed but if they pass each other in the hall he'll ask how shes doing, zoe hugs her randomly one day, and esme...esmes the worst one. she starts lowkey stalking maya and its getting on her last nerve.

-she avoids saad like the plague at first, but eventually realizes that he's the only person who doesnt treat her any differently (or so she thinks). they go to the roof one day (cause that shit is never locked no matter how many suicide attempts happened up there) to talk things out, and saad completely switches gears. "what were you thinking??? why would you do that???" type of stuff. maya gets mad at him talks shit about his pictures maybe, idk. saad reminds her that its a coping mechanism after everything that happened in syria, maybe he says he once contemplated too?? idk all the ideas I have are depressing moving on

-one day maya explodes on everyone after she dissapears for a bit (umm maybe she was chosen to perform a song at a school event but, after hearing some girls talking about her suicide attempt in the bathroom, she decides to ditch) bc everyone (grace, jonah, zig, esme, zoe maybe) gang up on her to check if shes okay. she goes off, saying "none of you cared before i tried to kill myself so why care now?" and idk where I was going with this, I want maya happiness and closure but idk how to get there smh.

-uhh she finds hoot! she goes home after school and finds hoot stuffed in the back of her closet. she writes a bittersweet song and after a long talk with her mom, decides to call grace. maybe grace invites her over for a sleepover?? and zoe and maya can finally have a real conversation since The Incident too! Also grace can kinda kill 2 birds with one stone.

FRANKIE'S ANNOYING ASS

-I cant stand this child but shes the writers' baby so she'll get at least 5 main plots next season oh my god. My wishful thinking speaking, but maybe she'll learn its okay to be alone and finally learn to like herself! Hopefully she sees the value in sticking to the sidelines and helping her friends through their issues. Ooh, maybe she learns how to be a good ally after gorillagate and educates her brothers on why their many intolerances are wrong (lbr here, hunter probably uses "triggered" as an insult and continues to call all the refugees "scary", same with miles) BUT come on this is degrassi :) so the writers are probably gonna throw in a new male character for frankie to obsess over. Well, either a newbie or someone completely random thats already in the cast like fucking baaz or saad.

Z*SME

-zig and esme spend a lot of their time obsessing over maya I think, esme bc she sees her mom in maya and zig bc he feels like he made her do it. umm noah fence but i dont rly care about these two so thats all I got lol

if anyone has any specific headcanon requests I’d love some!

[jess-oh]

Reflection

I’ve been watching some more Conan videos today and it’s really giving me some perspective. I think lately, I’ve been trying to fool myself and say, “Oh. I’m not like this. That’s not who I am. I am grateful and there is nothing wrong with me.” which just, isn’t true.

watching conan has helped give me perspective and reminded me why he is such an incredibly beautiful human being. because he really is and i am filled with so much love for him. he is genuine and kind and caring and loving and grateful despite everything that he had to endure. but he rose above it all and made something amazing out of it. and i want to do that too. i dont want to reveal my hardships as a way to brag or so that people will pity me or see me any differently. i want to be vulnerable and share my struggles because they are a part of who i am. i was briefly bullied as a child and my parents left me at the beach and i was too afraid to talk to anyone so i didnt have any friends but i pushed myself to go past that and grow from it. and now im here. and i have no right to judge anyone else’s life stories or talk smack about them or degrade them for how they were raised because ultimately, they arent me. they have their own journey to do. i have been acting like an asshole lately and claiming that my friends have been blaming the world for everything when in reality, i’ve been no different. they’re my friends bc i attracted them bc of who i am in this point in time. and thats just how it is. and i do want to be more direct and blunt and get better at receiving and giving compliments and i know that lately, i’ve retreated into my own little shell and didnt want to talk to anyone and returned to my old habits of carrying my burden on my own but now that ive realized that, i dont want to do that anymore. i want to be and do better and push myself to learn more and become a better version of myself instead of acting so complacent. bc complacency is the worst. it’s when you stop growing as a person. and i dont want to stop growing. i dont want to keep putting up this facade of a beautiful human that people want to see and just pretend like nothing is wrong. bc it’s not all happy. i have been a shitty person recently. and thats not just me having low self esteem. it’s just a fact. i have been a really shitty person recently and just been so self absorbed and wanted all the attention instead of really taking the time to care for others. i do want to grow as a person. i do want to become a better person. i really do. and most of all, i want to get back on track with you, God.

I went to Rocky Horror last night with Marlena and her two roommates, Legacy and Angel. And I was filled with so much sass due to stress and was borderline arguing with Marlena and making these over the top claims. Accusing her of not doing the show right. Getting mad when she said I was ruining the show by responding to the lines. And even though my actions showed that I still cared whenever I ran after her so that she wouldnt be alone or sat next to her on the train, I was still a pretty terrible friend. And I was so self-absorbed too. I kept thinking about how I felt toward her. “Maybe I don’t like Marlena anymore. She’s too into that party lifestyle.” But who am I to say anything? Because I’m the one that made the choice to go out that night. I’m the one that gave drinking a try and told her about it. I’m the one that foolishly said, “we should go to a party together before you leave.” She assumed that I was okay with it so she invited me. And I said, “Yes.” 

Yes, maybe she is more into that party lifestyle than I am bc it goes against my religion. And yes, it is hard to be completely open with her bc she doesnt follow the “Christian lifestyle.” But I didn’t even stop to consider her feelings and how she felt and what shes going through. Instead of genuinely being there for her, I was always so eager to talk about myself. I was so desperate to have someone, anyone, that i could fully rely on in my life. During a time that’s changing so much. I never had any right to be paranoid about Andrew leaving me because of Lauren and pinning the blame on him because my life is crazy. He has his own life to life and who am I to get in the way of that? Yes, I do crave a community where I can feel so free to be myself. But I can’t do that if I’m not willing to do the same for them. 

Dear Jessica, 

You want to know why you don’t have people around you that don’t throw you birthday parties? It’s because those arent the people you reach out to. You’re attracted to those who cannot help themselves just because you genuinely care about them. And that’s all that should matter. Yes, some recognition is nice. But you know in your heart that what youre doing is right and good. And God sees you and appreciates you and I know that that’s so hard to do or realize sometimes but it’s true. You can’t change the fact that it’s true.

And plus, you push people away whenever they try to help you anyway.

I think before I even started watching Conan videos, I had my moment of realization when I was texting Mulan earlier. There was some miscommunication and I was so tempted to just call her out on her BS and put her in her place and retaliate, confident in my own memory and ability. But then I realized that I needed to take a breather and just calm down. Because lashing back at her wouldn’t solve anything. It would just make the situation worse. I knew that neither one of us like to back down and we’re both hella stubborn. Even if she was wrong, she wasn’t about to accept it. So I took the time to gather some info from Claire and tried to keep myself in check and not gossip about Mulan. And Claire didn’t remember. Honestly, a part of me was hoping that Claire would confirm that I did mention it and that we did agree upon it so that I could definitively prove Mulan wrong. But that’s not what I got. So I just recently sent Mulan a text, saying that whether or not I was right or wrong, I was sorry that there was some miscommunication present and took responsibility for it. And I know that she’s going to judge me for how late I sent the text and bring it back up in the future. But it is what it is and I’m ready to let go and move on.

Finally, I feel like so much happened today and I can’t believe that it’s still only Sunday. But Dana woke up late this morning and as a result, I wasn’t as motivated to pay attention and get really into the worship today. And I know that I should always give it my all but that is honestly how I felt today. But...it was just really nice. I got to talk with everyone and I actually felt really comfortable with them too. Before, when I wanted to bring people to Christ, I was afraid. Because I didn’t like Lakeview and I didn’t want that to be their main idea of Christianity bc I know from Sa-Rang that it can be so much more than that. But now, I’m honestly pretty happy with where I’m at. Yes, sometimes I do feel left out or self-conscious. But I was so interested in learning about Emily’s work at UIC and was happy when she took such interest in me as well. James, Chelsea, Claire and I talked about McDonald’s happy meals and Chelsea and I bonded over Sanrio’s old Happy Meal line. And I found out that she really likes Kerropi. So I’m hoping I can get her a plush for either her birthday or Christmas. c: I do want to get to know her better and I think I was too quick to judge her before. But I do genuinely want to get to know her better and get on a deeper level. When I first came to Lakeview, I made the over-the-top claim that no one really cared about God and moreso cared about the community of friends than actually going to church to develop this deeper relationship. And by taking the time to just chat with them, I have been able to get to know them a bit more and really understand their faith and current walk with God. And y’know, we’re all going to be at different points in our faith and I definitely have no place to judge. So I’m just really glad that I am starting to feel more at home with Lakeview. Thank you so much God for showing me this church and showing me that it really is somewhere worth investing.

[ntshastark]

(this is a post abt my opinion re: the whole iron fist race controversy. please don’t read the beginning and think i’m defending the show, i simply say the good stuff first and the bad stuff last - also it’s 3am so this is a mess

ETA: i edited it a bit after waking up and added some stuff - it’s still a mess tho)

ok so when the danny casting was announced i was one of the few people who didn’t get mad at marvel, mostly bc i didn’t raise my expectations for an asian danny like most of the fandom. and, as i said on this post, i didn’t think marvel casting an actor whose skin color matched the character’s was a reason to be mad at them, especially to the point of boycotting the show. and i still think that, bc if you can overlook danny being white when buying/reading his comics, i don’t see why you couldn’t when watching his show. and who knows, maybe they’d manage to pull off not being racist despite the whole ‘white savior’ thing. i mean, the great wall did it. like, i didn’t really have much hope on it bc daredevil exists, but i was willing to give it a chance. and then the reviews started coming out saying it actually was a racist mess so i was like, yeah, ok, now ppl have all the reason to boycott it.

(parenthesis to explain why i joined the doctor strange boycott but not the iron fist one: i boycotted doctor strange bc of the ancient one whitewashing and the whole tibet thing, not the white saviorism. yes, it’s an annoying trope but if you threat and develop the poc characters well - which ds didn’t - i don’t personally think it’s that serious of an issue individually - as in: the problem is not really the trope itself, but how often it happens. it’s like the sexy lamp thing, it’s annoying, but imagine if we were gonna organize boycotts to every movie that does it. i even was gonna watch iron fist on an illegal site but my college started so i only had the - also very busy - weekend to finish it and illegal sites didn’t have subtitles yet - my first language isn’t english

also: a boycott is different than simply not watching. boycotting is collective, it’s organizing and it usually ends up with the ppl who participated getting mad at those who didn’t)

tbh after watching the show i don’t get why the bad reviews. as my friend put it, it was “not incredible, not exceptional, but good. the kind of show that we’re always wasting time watching but if it’s marvel/netflix everyone goes WOOOAAHH”. imo it was a lot like daredevil, just less gritty. and less racist.

now, keep in mind that i’m a white brazilian, so, while i’m affected by lack of/bad representation on international media, my understanding of what is racist to asian ppl doesn’t exactly come from first-hand experience. but like. the thing with daredevil (especially season 2) is that all asian characters were villains (plus elektra who’s on a grey line here) and had no personality. they were just walking fighting stereotypes. barely even talking. but iron fist had 1. the monks and colleen among the good guys. and, granted, the monks don’t really show up but colleen was amazing. i loved her, loved her characterization (disclaimer: i’ve read only like 4 comics with colleen in them), loved her friendship with claire, loved her relationship with her students, loved her storyline, especially loved how she was the one to defeat bakuto instead of danny, i’d be fucking pissed if that didn’t happen like that. (also a parenthesis to talk abt how the only undeniably good characters on the show besides danny were all women, 2/3 of them being woc - 2/2 if you’re not pretending, as i am, that that ooc barbara kean-esque mess of joy’s last scene never happened) 2. the villains were incredible. madame gao was still a stereotype, but at least she was explored more - and her men weren’t all asian, and were actually military-ish, so no “army of ninjas” mess again. and the one-episode ones were incredible (i’m talking abt the ones from the challenge - ...except the russian dudes tbh - and lewis tan’s character jfc - more on this later). like, even if they had little screentime, they were all unique and fun and i’d totally watch a show about them.

ok, so i’ve said the good stuff (and some bad ones, but always with a “but” after them). now onto the bs:

honestly, the biggest problem with this show is the main actor. i hate saying bad stuff about actors but finn jones was just not the right choice. and, yes, partly bc he’s not asian.

as i said on the beginning of the post, i was more than willing to give white danny a chance. after all, comics!danny is white and is a beloved character nonetheless (even if i’ve read basically nothing with him yet). but, god, it was torture to watch that show and see all the occasions where asian!danny would have not only fit perfectly but made it better and been able to say/do stuff that people need to hear/see, not to mention certain uncomfortable-to-watch moments, especially between him and colleen, that would’ve been fixed by that. like, honestly, i can number so much stuff on this show that would’ve been improved with that - even by a creative standpoint like holy shit i’m not even a writer and i’m itching to rewrite that whole show with asian-american!danny, it’s not only begging to be done by the story itself but it’s also such a fun challenge, it’s such a fucking huge missing opportunity, it’s so frustrating.

and like, the whole “he’s gotta be an outsider” thing (which has been refuted many times already anyway) isn’t even valid bc davos is played by sacha dhawan, who is british of indian descent. and, granted, india is in asia, but it’s so different from east asia that ppl usually forget it’s in the same continent (i guarantee you that the ppl using that outsider argument do). so it basically confirmed that danny being an outsider was never about race, but about not being born in k’un lun.

but anyway, as i said, it’s partly bc he’s not asian, but there’s definitely more.

i’ve already seen ppl commenting on how weak the fighting scenes are, especially to a show that’s supposed to be about that, and i agree (even if there’s some pretty neat acrobatics here and then). while that’s definitely not the actor’s fault, i can’t help but wonder how much better they probably would’ve been with an actor who’s a martial artist himself and could do his own stunts. i mean, this character is supposed to be the 2nd best martial artist in the marvel universe. so much of him is about the fighting, having someone who can actually do that stuff would’ve made the filming a lot less restricted bc they wouldn’t have to worry about not showing his face while doing more complicated stuff (which reminds me: the stunt double’s face is clearly visible when danny attacks those two first guards in the last episode).

but my biggest issue with finn jones’ danny is the way he looks. first of all, he’s a skinny kid with floppy hair. he looks exactly like what we in brazil call “estudante de humanas da federal” (aka a history/geography/philosophy/sociology/etc major from a public university. just google “estudante de humanas”, you’ll understand what i’m talking about - it’s not a pejorative term, just not exactly the ideal look for the character). basically, he’s a punk bitch. he looks ridiculous. when he’s doing (what assume is) tai chi it’s fucking laughable. the whole way he moves is just wrong, and the way he looks just accentuates that, which is why they should’ve hired a skilled fighter to play the part - or at least someone who looks like one. i repeat: fighting is such a huge part of danny’s character, it makes no sense to hire a skinny dude who looks like couldn’t even kick my ass. he just doesn’t sell it, it looks like i’m watching a comedy. like my friend said, “the dude spent 15 years training and his arm is thinner than mine”

i mean come on

like, look at lewis tan (yesss we finally got here) during his fight on ep 8. zhou cheng’s movements /mocking danny/ /while drunk/ are SO much more fluid and natural, it was fucking torture to watch that and see what we could’ve had like jfc LOOK AT THIS

THAT’S WHAT THE IRON FIST FIGHTING SHOULD LOOK LIKE I’M SO MAD MEET ME ON THE FUCKING PITCH @ MARVEL

ETA (25/03/17):

[link]

not to mention his body. like, hotness aside, that’s what an actual martial artist’s body looks like. y’know, with actual muscles. and i’m not above mentioning how show!danny has a beard bc finn jones looks 15 without it.

and honestly his acting is good but nothing stellar. i could swallow this pill if i had a cup of “ok but at least the guy is a fucking terrific actor” to help, but he’s just... nice.