#like we aren't dolls to use for your mental or physical needs

[irascible-iridescent]

I just don't understand why ppl insist on having an out right war about romantic vs platonic love. Or even go to friends vs s/o. Like it doesn't make sense bc your partner SHOULD BE YOUR FRIEND.

[astrologylunadream]

What does your crush think of you?🌸💕 (Pick a card/Tarot love reading)

Hii I'm Lunadream!🤗 This is officially my first reading~ :D This time we'll be doing a reading on what your crush thinks of you <3 I hope you find your message💌

Only take what resonates because the most important thing is your own judgement!♡ Also feel free to pick more than one pile if you feel called to!💘 (Entertainment purpose only. All rights reserved)

Now, shall we begin~? ^w^ Think of your crush, and pick whichever pile that fits the energy you're feeling~♡

Pile 1 💋

Pile 2 🌈

Pile 3 🌌

Pile 4 💿

Take your time and choose carefully with the heart~♡

On to the readings —> 💖

Pile 1💋

Sign energy: Nightmare, Air, Forever, Success, Doll, 10th house, Aquarius, Water, Jupiter, 6th house, 🚷💋♍😟

💗Your crush's energy: I already got a heavy feeling with this one, like a really intense and serious energy. Your crush is most likely very attractive in an effortless way, like they don't even try haha. There's just something about them that's naturally very magnetic. I'm getting strong earth (Virgo, Taurus, Capricorn) energy. One or both of you (more likely your crush) may be somewhat intimidating like you don't want to cross them because they don't just tolerate anything they'll up and leave if they aren't okay with the way things are going, that's the vibe I'm getting from your crush. They most likely have a great sense of self worth and they just know what is a waste of their time and what isn't. They could be older than you, Also for most of you they're probably really tall, either physically or mentally taller than you for sure haha very assertive and maybe even more dominant aswell.

🧠What they think of you: I could already tell first thing they think of you a lot actually. They see you as an object of their desires, someone they like really want. This could be really surprising to you especially if they don't talk much. (I feel like they're rather impassive or at least come off that way sometimes) I kinda think they might be a little obsessed with you secretly but this might not be something they realize just yet ;) Also physically they think you're like a doll, and also your figure might be living in their mind rent free (just saying👀🖤). They really want to "own" you, I feel like you turned this person's whole world upside down and you're taking them over slowly, their thoughts of you might be controlling them a little. They really want things to work out between you two, because they are really into you secretly. They may not even show any interest in you whatsoever but just know it's probably because they're REALLY hard to read lol, next thing you know they're stalking your social media (no doubt) and they fantasize about you all the time omg. They want this to be forever they want to be with you forever, like I said they don't tolerate just anything but this connection is not something they want to give up.

💌Messages from your crush: Don't think of anyone else, I didn't used to feel this way, I want to keep this private, You made a mistake, It's the worst, You don't have a choice, We finally meet, All I need is your touch, Extra cards: Purple, Ability, Odd, Love, Vision, 6th house, Earth, Chiron, Aquarius, Scorpio

I hope you enjoyed your reading <3 If you did be sure to let me know pile 1 with the kiss emoji💋! Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💞

Pile 2🌈

Sign energy: Fake smile, Reflect, Thighs, Skin, Absence, Juno, Capricorn, Air, Vertex, Sagittarius, 🧚‍♀️🙆‍♀️🧘‍♂️🔭

💗Your crush's energy: This is most likely a friend or a more platonic connection, I'm getting a bright vibe when you two are together. Okay so I'm kind of getting some of you may be in the lgbtq community or maybe your crush is or it could be both of you. I feel like your crush is really fun and entertaining, like they light up the room and everyone around them. They're witty and charming, and they also like to joke around sometimes. Sagittarius and air sign energy is prominent, also they may have nice thighs and legs. They're like a best friend even if you guys aren't whatever the situation may be, there's a sense of adventure and wildness to them. They might be the kind to hide their feelings behind jokes, or for some of you your crush may be afraid of showing the real them. They are a lot like you, you two may be similar or like similar things. Like you both are into something really weird and it's like "wait you like that too??" kind of thing.😇 They may be quirky in some way or just unique, very special person~ you can't help but smile around them. They may seem like a social butterfly and super outgoing or a lot of people just like them.

🧠What they think of you: Okay so I kinda feel like they may be into spirituality or tarot just to know more about you, like they're trying to see if you would like them for who they are or if you won't judge them because they're really afraid of rejection. They probably think of you alot and reflect on all the times you had together, because you're actually really unique to them as much as they are to you💫 For some of you your crush may be a bit freaky so they hide that from others, your opinion of them matters to them a lot. They want to hold your hand and think about it often. They may really want a relationship but they feel like they aren't good enough or like you two aren't compatible but honestly you two have so much in common and they don't really realize this so they just think you're gonna like see them as silly or immature, but of course if you truly love and accept them for who they really are then they'll honestly love you for that.

💌Messages from your crush: I would kill for you, I will die for you, (wow yandere vibes😳🙊) Why am I so addicted to you? Things didn't go as planned, The past is in the past, For now, I'll cheer for you, I'm desperate, Extra cards: Mean, Home, Swim, Emotions, Gap, Gemini, 5th house, Juno, Leo, Neptune

I hope you enjoyed your reading!!👏 If you did be sure to let me know pile 2 with the rainbow emoji🌈! Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading🥰

Pile 2🌌

Sign energy: Chest, Chemistry, Toy, Only one, Love letter, Mars, Pisces, Aquarius, Earth, 8th house, 💧👿🌏☄

💗Your crush's energy: Uh oh, this is a really deep and passionate person. This is someone who is really in touch with their pluto energy also a lot of mars and 8th house energy, they're like so alluring and very appealing physically as well as their mentality. They probably have a very artistic mind and also a really dark one, like they are really touchy and emotional so their mind is just 🌪⛈🔮🗡🥀👿 yeah that's definitely their vibe. This could be mirrored energy but they may be very spiritual or psychic, they just have a really deep aura about them. They may be far away, and everything they do feels mysterious. For some of you this is a real bad girl/bad boy kinda crush. They probably look really magical and have a very attractive mind. You may be addicted to this person, or like you can't stop thinking about them🤭😰 there's a lot of water energy in this pile (Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces) and but also like really hot energy okay lol.

🧠What they think of you: Oh you wanna know?? They want you bad lol. They're kind of naughty ngl when it comes to you, there's a lot of chemistry between you two. They think you're the only one for them, literally no one else compares to you. They fantasize about you A LOT they really can't get enough of you, I mean they want to make you theirs🔗🖤 This may be a forbidden relationship that others don't want to approve of, but this person doesn't care because they want you. They just want your touch and they care so much about you, really romantic and sweet but they have this other side they want to show you too😈 Lol they're 100% obsessed with you, they love every second talking with you and the passion is through the roof honestly.

💌Messages from your crush: I've heard of you, I want to hold you tight, I deserve it, Why would I? You deserve me, It's the start of something new, This wasn't what I had in mind, Extra cards: Bad, Killer, Match, Clench, Diamond, Pluto, Sagittarius, Mercury, 11th house, Air (spicy🙊🖤)

I hope you enjoyed your reading~😉 If you did be sure to let me know pile 3 with the galaxy emoji🌌! Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💜

Pile 4💿

Sign energy: Order, Psychic, Anger, Side effects, Pride, Sun, Vertex, Neptune, Jupiter, Water, 😡🍰👨‍🎤🧛‍♂️

💗Your crush's energy: I sense someone bold and fiery, theres some leo energy up in here but also getting some aries too~ Your crush is probably very outspoken or at least they seem pretty direct to others, they have a bright smile and very charismatic too. For some of you this person may have trouble controlling their anger, and they may act on impuslve. They might struggle with selfishness or ignoring their problems instead of dealing with them up front, they like attention especially romantically. They are fun loving and carefree, for some of you your crush may seem apathetic or unable to listen to others thoughts and feelings other than their own. But they do care for others, there is a certain amount of empathy they have. Your crush is talented, they have many hobbies and are very creative as well. Music may be significant, also they may like vintage or old style music. They could be a musician or singer. For some of you this may be a spiritually invested person, they may like candles or collecting gemstones. They're a very open person and they prefer to not keep secrets.

🧠What they think of you: You may have done something that bothers them, something about you gets them riled up. You agitate them and but also excite them, they keep coming back for more. For some your crush may pretend to hate you until they get closer to you, they actually like you. They may be confident in you liking them or may already know it, but they could use it to have the upper hand because they don't want to seem vulnerable. They may see you as bossy or controlling but secretly they find it endearing that you care for them. Your crush gets nervous when you enter their mind, They fantasize about moving to a far away land with you... just the two of you🛩🏝 They want you to pay attention to them and give them compliments. They must win your heart, they see you as sweet and fun. Part of them worries if they loose their temper and hurt you or your feelings, they feel anxious about this. They don't want to lose control of themselves, because you make them act on impulse. They want to be better for you, and they won't settle for anything less.

💌Messages from your crush: I can't wait to meet you, You seem so happy, Who cares what people think of us, They're jealous of you, Everyone had their secrets, When will you listen? I'm lost without you, Use your imagination Extra cards: Shoulders, Street, Shine, Wounds, Adventure, 7th house, 4th house, Moon, Mars, 5th house

I hope you enjoyed your reading <3 If you did be sure to let me know pile 4 with the disk emoji💿! Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💞

Wanna see more readings like this? Check out my tumblr page for accurate readings for you!💗🌊🌸

Thanks for reading! \(*^w^)/💌 -Lunadream <3

[themultifandomgal]

Arthur Shelby- Learning A New Way To Communicate

When Arthur left for war with his brothers, his daughter was only 1 1/2 years old. Her mother had passed away so it was left yo Aunt Polly to bring up the young girl. 4 years later and the wars over. Arthur has been reunited with his little girl, which of course he's excited to see, but it also a little worried to how she will react to seeing him again since it's been so long. Unfortunately during the war YN got meningitis, which has caused her to loose her hearing. Polly learnt sign language to communicate with YN. Of course Ada and Finn have also picked it up and use sign language.

YN waits with her aunts and uncle Finn at the train station. She sighs 'will daddy still love me' to which Polly responds 'of course he will'. The train stops and out comes the men who physically survived the war, but maybe not mentally. Around them are many wives, mothers, girlfriends, children crying and screaming, but YN can't hear, she just watches what's going on around her. Polly takes the little girls hand and walks her over to Arthur, Tommy and John

"There's my little girl! Look at you now you've grown so much!" Arthur yells smiling. YN looks at her aunt to help her understand what was just said. Of course aunt Polly let's go if YNs hand and signs what Arthur just said "Polly what are you doing?" he asks

"Why don't we go home and I'll explain" frowning Arthur follows Polly with his brothers.

"2 years ago YN got sick, meningitis they said. She lost her hearing. YNs deaf Arthur she can't hear you talking"

"What? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I think you had your own things to deal with"

"So how do we communicate with her?" Tommy asks

"With sign language, Polly learnt it and has been teaching us" Ada tells her brothers

"Will you teach me?" Arthur asks

"Of course" Polly responds just as YN walks into the living room. She goes straight to Ada signing for her to come upstairs and play dolls with her

"What does she want?" Arthur asks

"For me to play with her"

"Fuck. I'm her own father and I don't even know what she's saying. She doesn't want to come near me"

"Arthur, she wasn't even 2 when you left for the war. It's going to take time for you to get used to each other again. You'll be fine though" Ada replies getting off the sofa

"Try taking her out, learn the basics. She'll come round"

Over the next few months Arthur has to build up the relationship with his daughter since she doesn't really remember him. She's seen photos and knows that Arthur is her father, but for obvious reasons they aren't close. Arthur's been learning sign language, but still needs help with certain words, especially words that aren't used that often

"Polly how do I sign cake shop?" Arthur asks his aunt who helps him. He then signs to his daughter asking if she'd like to go to the cake shop for some treats. She nods her head going to get her shoes and coat on.

Outside Arthur does his best signing to YN to communicate

"Arthur! How are you?" A man walks over taking Arthur's hand in his "is this your little one? She's gotten so big. Haven't you. Got your dads eyes" YN looks at Arthur then back at the man feeling confused

"She can't hear you Bill"

"Can't hear, what a load of shit. Cause she can hear me"

"No Bill she's deaf" although YN and Arthur are still getting used one on another again, YN already feels safe with him so she moves her body closer to his

"Never used to be. She's got ears hasn't she" Arthur gets angry feeling very protective of his little girl, but since she is here he holds it in

"Excuse us" Arthur says nudging his daughter to move forward. Once away from Bill Arthur signs that he's sorry that she felt scared or confused. All Arthur wants to do is keep his daughter safe and loved in a world where if you were different in any way you would struggle.

Arthur and YN grew closer as the months went on. Arthur got more confident with sign language and YN started showing her personality more and more. Tommy and John also learn sign language and then their significant others would learn it. YN never felt isolated once with her family.

[yanderes-galore]

Yandere joker x hero reader like reader used to work for the Justice League with Batman

Sure! The version of Joker is kept general. Heavily implied to be from the general comics, though. I haven't written for Joker in years so I hope he's in character :)

Yandere! Joker with Hero! Darling

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Sadism, Torture mention, Unstable mental health, Manipulation, Blackmail, Obsession, Delusional behavior, Kidnapping mention, Jealousy, Murder mention, Vague "relationship".

It's hard to get a proper personality for Joker when writing his character, as he is described as "unpredictable".

If you were a hero that used to work for the Justice League alongside Batman, he takes sadistic joy in this.

You knew Bats!? Well, then you'll get along just fine!

He's probably going to hunt you down as you know his pal so well.

Finding peace after retiring from hero work, or even being a hero still is nearly impossible.

No, now you're going to have to deal with the plague known as Joker.

He gets so upset when you contact Batman about him.

Him coming to see you is supposed to be private!

He probably met you when you helped Batman capture him once.

You're not like those Robins he carries around.

No, you're much more fun!

It's then that the Joker sets his sights on you.

You'll be trying to do your own thing and the clown prince himself barges in like he knows you personally.

"Hey there, doll! Mind if I join you?"

He usually addresses you by some sort of nickname based on your alias and makes himself at home wherever.

He becomes more and more troublesome as time goes on.

You already saw him as a threat, the feeling intensifying whenever he tries to physically touch you.

He makes it a goal to become closer and invade your privacy and mind.

His laugh echoes in your ears and you find him an annoyance.

You're very confused as to why he's so friendly with you.

Batman shares the same confusion.

You have an effect on him.

Joker comments with disappointment that whenever you call Batman for help, it's as if you're treating Bats as his babysitter.

"Come on, dear! We're all adults here aren't we? Why can't we have any fun without a supervisor?"

He will soon get tired of you crying to Batman when he's around.

It's best not to flare his temper.

Joker would find a lot of joy in playing around with a hero! darling.

You are great to use as leverage against Batman and he loves the idea of tainting your mind.

Joker would kidnap you and he'd kill for you, when he will is unknown.

The entirety of the clown prince is a game of chance.

He's nearly impossible to read and is a bomb waiting to explode when around you.

There's no doubt he gets jealous of other heroes or civilians around you.

Which leads to murder... that part is somewhat predictable.

He'd hurt you and find it funny.

He seems like the type to toy with his darling.

Although, he probably has a soft spot for you

He knows he can't kill you, no, he needs you.

Instead he relishes in the idea of tormenting you and making you rely on him.

Although, that isn't always his motive.

Joker does like your smile and laugh....

A pleasant sound and a sight for sore eyes.

A delightful counterpart to his haunting laugh and grin.

The Joker has a soft spot for you which can be used, both for and against you.

You can lure him in for capture.

That or the Joker can make how he feels about you known to blackmail you.

If you don't play his game many could get hurt.

You're too soft to want that, right?

He'd break into your home easily, just to greet you with a playful yet deranged smile.

"Looks so boring in here... how about some company?"

He probably likes to feel your touch.

He's insane but he'd probably be touchstarved.

He's seen crying in the comics on the laps of flings or Harley so he's clearly unstable.

He'd do the same to you with no warning.

Joker likes the idea of playing with a hero's emotions and bringing them to their knees.

But he also genuinely craves your affection.

To you, Joker is a disease.

He plagues Gotham and should be Batman's problem.

So why did you have to be wrapped up in the clown prince problem?

The Joker is a parasite to you, clinging to you and refusing to let go.

You're cursed with him and soon... no one will be able to help you.

"Why so quiet? Come on, where's that laugh? Don't be such a downer like Bats, dear... he's such a bore!"

[frostyreturns]

Good video but did not dive into how this is yet another form of population control. AI chatbots, sex dolls, porn, waifu bodypillows, are all substitutions meant to stop men and women from getting together and having kids.

She rightfully says men and women are different but complimentary and gets the gays mad at her, but dismisses it as "not everything is about buttsex" But she's wrong because those things are also substitutions. Homosexuality, transsexuality are both on the rise as well. She mentions how many views trans porn has and she's right last I heard it is the third highest viewed porn category on the largest porn websites. Even just on tumblr you see crossdressers...not even transexuals just dudes who put on skirts claiming they're having a lot more sex with straight men. I mean have you seen the dialogue from the gays lately, went from "born that way" to hey try gay sex because everyones gay a little really quick. I saw a comment from a woman on a dating profile recently that said "I swear men don't even like women anymore." Sadly this is becoming the case. We're being trained to hate and avoid each other. We're having an experience cultivated driving us apart and everyone who's not already paired up and married is just figuring out ways to cope.

I also want to point out that the people claiming sexbots and aigirlfriends are a good thing to "own the feminists" are also the same people who pushed feminism. It's not some victory for men...you guys understand that the goal is end your bloodline they don't care if they do it by making sure you have no sex or if the sex you have is with a rubber doll...the victory is the same. Funny how all these solutions to loneliness and sexlessness...all don't result in children...what a wierd coincidence.

It's become a pick your poison scenario. Men and women are not dating anymore, so what will it be. 10 cats? Banging trannies and crossdressers or becoming one yourself? Porn addiction? Ai chatbots? Sextoys/realdolls? Anime Waifu? parasocial online egirlfriend?

Christ is the real answer, women suck and aren't good enough for men anymore, men suck and aren't good enough for women anymore. We're all broken and we all need fixing mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. There's no technology in the world existing or forthcoming that's going to do that, only God can do that.

[ahiddenpath]

Life Update

Life chat beneath the cut. I feel like this one is a bit on the whiney complainy side, but it is where I am now, so I'm keeping it for posterity, lol! But don't read if you're not down for some whine and cheese xD

So I took the last week off from work. I was frustrated, because I didn't go anywhere- it was a staycation. We opted for that mostly because I was going to lose my gd mind if I didn't get some time off. I get 3 weeks off per year, plus a week closure around Christmas "made of" federal holidays that we do not get, so I try to optimize my time off. But... I didn't have the brain space to do anything, and also, as I tried to plan things... Holy damn, everything is so much more expensive than it was even like three years ago.

But now I'm further frustrated because I spent the vast majority of the week just doing damned chores and household projects. Like, I told myself I would stop doing any chores yesterday, but I still spent until 2 PM exercising and doing "a few quick things." The same thing happened today. I'm kind of in, like, a horrible sort of awe of how long shit takes, man. For example, it took my husband and I about 2 hr to take down a broken ceiling fan that was 30 years old and not very user friendly and replace it with a new one. It took me an hour with a hair drier and a scraper to remove like 2.5 cm of hot glue from a doll's head (holding her removable eyes in place) so I could send her out to be painted. And I spent 40-90 min outside for like 8-12 days weeding and doing some basic yard work to prep for a mulch delivery.

I'm trying to be more fit recently. I am, ah. A very unfit human. I think I somehow have not mentioned this in the 12 years of this blog, but... I've had a million surgeries on my hip and spent roughly age 6 months to 2 yrs in a body cast, then until roughly age 4 in physical therapy to learn to move around. I'm clumsy and can just, like, fall over unprompted, I assume because of all that. I don't have the full range of movement in my lower body, so doing physical things can be... Really daunting. I always put exercise and mobility training off.

And of course, it's starting to bite my ass, lmao. I recently learned that humans begin losing muscle mass in their 30s, meaning that weight training is essential. I also learned that using a machine to exercise (like an elliptical) is only good for cardiovascular health. The machine takes on a lot of the... strain?? Work?? Of moving, meaning you aren't working your body in the same way as when you just... Walk. It's meant to help you work out longer, so you can develop your cardiovascular system. (Incidentally, this is why walking and hiking are great exercise).

That's why I took on a lot of the gardening/yard work. I did clear out all of the weeds! And the way my soreness decreased over the days means that I did something good for my body.

But, like. The amount of time caring for your body takes is absolutely gobsmackingly unreal. Holy shit god damn! I've always struggled to keep the balls of work, mental health, creativity, physical health, and social health in the air, not touching on chores and stuff. The physical ball is the one I always put down first.

But I only get this one body, and the American healthcare system is a nightmare. So... Yeah, the priorities need to shift here. My foot has been hurting for a few weeks, now, and it happened last year after Japan, too. It's time to actually go to the doctor for that.

I am sensing more and more that I need to give less to work, too. That's difficult for someone like me to do, because I always feel a deep need to do my best with everything. But... Working this hard just isn't sustainable, and it isn't as if I'm rewarded over someone in the same position who does less.

I haven't had much of an opportunity to rest or do anything creative this week, despite being off. And I'm just as distressed by the fact that um... Just being gone at work from 8:20 AM-5:50 PM every day makes it impossible to do the tasks that built up over the last 3-4 years of being in this home. You know, sometimes people tell me, "But what would you do if you didn't have a job? I'd go crazy!" And I'm like- DUDE. DUDE! I could exercise, walk, work on house projects, and do chores all day every day for like three years and still have stuff to do! That doesn't even touch the personal projects and hobbies I want to work on.

Hopefully, I can figure out some kind of balance that works for me and is healthy. I wish you all the best, my dears <3

[honeybeewhereartthee]

PINK KKOMAS KOHAKU OUKAWA 84

Spoiler for my stories

Still at Doll, Sea and Blood side. The three are walking back to the location they usually in the kkoma world.

Doll, stared at trinkets that Purple give him: every pink kkoma sure isn't fully human or not human at all huh.

Blood: well. Were some fantasy or so theme au after all. Clearly we will not be human.

Doll stared Blood:... Are you human?

Blood:....

Blood: kokoko. Well that's something I would like to ask too. Doll isn't human too isn't he. Your a darling doll.

Doll:... Darling Dolls are u fortunate souls that aren't able to be born as human, given chance by the blue star and dollmaker to be dolls and gain affection and one day able to be human.

Blood: you gotten humanity then?

Doll:... Of course. The dollmaker loves us. Far too much. That's why everyone able to attain humanity. But some sacrifice it. Like ritsu, when he come back from his journey, he return being a darling doll but is really fine with it.

Blood:...

Doll: it was your kitty and your fault wasn't it. →_→

Blood: was it? I never told him to be that delusional.

Doll: >.> Blaming you is stupid. Even if I did that in frequency long before. The you in your original world and the you in this world act differently. Ritsu told me how you act.

Blood:...

Doll:if you needed help, we could always held. Hand.

Blood: do you know, your au is the most disliked. Because you all go and stick your noses to problems that don't involve any of you.

Doll:... No one will say help, so might as well force help to you all. Being hated for doing good. Was it really bad thing? Being unheard and motionless to do anything, that's what doll are... We will never be heard if we never gain love. We will only be sad dolls. But since we were listened and love by our owner. We don't want to do the same to others. So I'll offer my hand to help you blood.

Blood:...

Blood:... You better not held your helping hand to someone like me. Or anyone in my world. Your ritsu already turn back to being a darling doll when he come back to my world isn't he?

Doll:... Because he needed too. No one blame him when your being asshole to him.

Blood: no one told him to take something that isn't his.

Doll: people aren't property.

Blood: are they?

Doll:... No. Not even you are property of your world. You are you and you own your own self.

Blood: your idealogy from your world... Is far different from mine. I do appreciate your kindness. But I don't need help.

Doll: ...

Doll: THATS WHY NO ONE LIKES YOU. YOU ASSHOLE WHO WONT LET SOMEONE HELP YOU. BEING FULL OF SECRET IS BAD! THE WORLD ISNT YOUR BURDEN SO DONT BE LIKE THAT!

blood: bee likes me

Doll:... I DONT

Blood: cool.

Doll start to shake blood: let me help youuuuuuuu!!!

Blood: is that your always irritated to me? You wanna help me?

Doll, embarrassed: no. LET ME HELP YOU!! OR IT WILL CONTINUE TO BOTHER ME!!

Blood, chuckle: no. How cute doll, your like a little brother who is throwing a tantrum.

Doll: I am a little brother, your also a little brother aren't you?! Ahhhhh let me help youuuuuu

Blood:... Actually don't have family like you and others have.

Doll: what.

Blood: kohaku Oukawa, have siblings and the youngest. But I don't think I have those. I only know I am Blood Mad Hatter.

Doll: your opening up!?! What? Of course you have siblings! You probably forget! But since your dumb dumb before. We all kkoma be your siblings for you!!

Blood:, pat Doll head: I'll be the older brother then. Call me blood nii then.

Doll:... Fuck.

Blood: thats a foul word, little doll.

Doll, embarrassed:... Blood Nii!! Let me help you! ⁄(⁄ ⁄•⁄-⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄

Blood hugs doll: okii, help blood Nii with stuff his carrying then.

Doll: nooo. I wanna help your mental state not physical!!

Sea, pulls blood sleeve: 'bloodnii'

He called to him and blood hugs the two of them, thinking how cute his new younger brothers are. He seems quite happy that doll don't comment anymore.

[rantsandeepthoughts]

This thing called - Intimacy

Let's just rate this post M-18 for whoever is reading this yeah. lol.

who is reading this? The FBI agent stalking me? Hi FBI agent, why did you not rescue me from the abusive household I grew up in? I'd like to meet and have a word with you.

I was thinking about physical intimacy. Sex. Making babies. whatever you call it.

it's a big deal ; like -

there's a whole sex industry surrounding it.

religion tries to govern it

the world's population is based on it

gender roles are very much effected by it, significantly

then there's stuff to do with hormones and they say that orgasms are like ecstasy. btw i googled this, apparently an orgasm gives you the same high as a shot of morphine or something. chemical structure of it and what not.

Basically - A LOT is surrounding this one thing. Orgasms. Which is well, the whole climatic point of sex, physical intimacy, etc.

But did you know that - to achieve an orgasm, like from start to finish. It just takes about like 15 minutes or less. It's a hell lot shorter if you're just masturbating to scratch that horny itch. Apparently guys shoot off in a few minutes, like literally, less than 5 minutes. Ladies take longer to reach their peak, around 10 minutes.

so let's say a married couple, one of them is horny (usually the guy, studies say), they go bang bang and it's done 5 minutes tops. If the guy is an ass who doesn't care if their girl gets to peak. Then the poor girl is left to deal with the mess he made in her.

which. btw. CLEAN UP, can take just as long if not longer (like if you're the type that need to go shower or what). the clean up alone, is longer than the 'sex + orgasm' part.

so. I was thinking. What. The. Fuck. Is the bloody big deal about it?

Yeah, sure, orgasms are great. we get legal morphine.

but in an unfulfilling relationship where the people involved are just using each other as religion-sanctified masturbatory tools or mere warm bodies and living blow-up sex dolls. then. what the fuck is it all for then? it just hit me- omg, THIS IS WHY people CHEAT. because sex is just, 15 minutes of your day. you get your morphine quick fix, then you're left wanting, you're left in withdrawal, you're left craving for more endorphins - that you're not gonna get, unless you're in a happy fulfilling relationship. which many people aren't.

so many relationships are unhappy. because the people involved are idiots who don't believe mental health is a thing. so they don't talk about their feeelliiinnggss and all the other things they need to talk about like - 'husband, you stuck your dick in me three times this week but i aint get no orgasm yet and im upset and angry coz all it did was get you off while my cunt is hurting and im tired of cleaning up the mess you left inside of me'.

side note: you can get endorphins from being happy btw. or other 'pleasure' related activities like exercise, getting a massage, eating good food. happy place and all that. there's more, go google it. or click here .

where was i... getting back to my point. which is. yes.

the having sex part, or masturbating. it's just a brief part of life. yeah you get your endorphin fix. but you can also get your endorphin fix, elsewhere. things like exercise, has a longer-time production and release of endorphins - i think (i didn't google this). but just think about it.

you can eat your favourite, or delicious food, every day. 3 times a day. that's gonna give you an endorphin fix. or you could exercise everyday. same thing. you cannot have sex or masturbate everyday - maybe you could, if you were a porn star or something - maybe guys do. ok i just googled, apparently it's okay physically, but it may cause mental and psychological problems in the long run if you masturbate daily. which supports my point of - sex alone ain't cutting it.

There's more to life, happiness and getting your endorphin rush in a whole variety of different ways - that does not involve having an orgasm.

so why the fuck has the world gotten so focused on it?

why do so many religions try to govern it?

this may sound skeptic or something, but, it kinda feels that society, the world, religions, they just want to control the human body.

i totally agree that some aspects of control is necessary for law and order and peace or whatever else they're calling it now. but control and specific types of manipulations of human bodies. that's a no from me.

the sex industry has abused, manipulated and profited primarily from the exploitation of female bodies. sure, they say 'things are getting better', but it's kinda the same tone of 'men and women are getting equal pay' when we all know in the grand scale of things. that's all still bullshit. women are at a disadvantage and still will be because with every step gained, there's a landslide pushing you back. it feels like it.

then in religion. and the whole blah blah blah about virginity - how virginity is "tested or proved" only on the woman's side of things. because, hymen or whatever. but really, also bullshit. back in the day i can sorta understand why people thought this was important. else, how we gonna know who the baby father is right. and men were soooo obsessed with their lineage and their blood line and heirs for their family. - insert eye roll pls -

again in religion - there are many who disapprove of masturbation. say it's a sin. that the only orgasms you will ever get in life is the one you get out of your legally wedded spouse. else you'll burn in hell for all eternity... very... drastic... huh...

makes me wonder, if all this governance of who and how exactly you are 'allowed' to spill your seed, and since back in the day women knew little about their rights, so religion had always expounded on the greatness of a mother and blah blah blah - this all feels, as if, it is devised in a way to ensure population growth.

which you know, with all the wars and out break of disease back in the day. people needed their people to be giving birth a lot. else, their entire town could go extinct. and lord forbid their bloodline die out. i dunno why they were obsessed with that. like what's the big deal honestly? so what if you're the child of so and so and so who was a duke or a sultan or a putri once upon a time.

like WHO THE FUCK CARES in this economy? where we are struggling to even feed ourselves and put a roof over our heads, where we know we're gonna be working well into our 70s maybe.

well. most of us. the average and below average 'working class'. guess those people sitting on their nice cushy seats behind their manicured lawns and Pickett fences that is the size and cost of another family's entire generation's nett worth and welfare housing. u get what i mean.

so yeah.

i don't get it.

and for the record. I am not gonna get married, unless the person i meet, checks of a whole lot of ticks of my criteria list. i don't care if those-who-cannot-be-named curse and swear and call me bad things. they have after all said to my face that im picky. that i can't be like that, otherwise i will be an old hag. that I'll be alone. yes. i am comfortable being alone. being alone is not lonely if you don't isolate and alienate yourself.

i got friends damnit. and worse comes to worse, i know how to make new friends. i go out into the community - more than you gossiping little shits.

don't know if i got everything off my chest. but yeah, this deep thought rant has gone on for long enough. I'm gonna close this post.

end note. Orgasms are great. But seriously, DONT get married just coz you want someone else to scratch your horny itch. you'll regret it.

[im-in-love-with-pizza-bites]

Ranch Hand: Chapter 13

Farmer!Veteran!Bucky Barnes X Teen!Reader (Small town and Farmer AU)

Series MasterList

Series summary: You ran away from your nightmare of a family, you found a small town, population 200. In this town you meet a retired army veteran turned farmer who hires you as farm hand. Only mystery will you two be able overcome your pasts together.

Chapter Summary: Bucky begins "Baby" proofing the farmhouse.

Series Warnings: Mentions nightmares, Child abuse, mental abuse, physical abuse, war, swearing, mentions death by cancer, mentions of alcohol and illegal substance abuse. please tell me if you see anymore!!! But do so politely please.

Chapter Warnings:

Divider: @skylightlantern

Bucky glares at the list. It's almost 10 pm at night, he just finished working on the farm and he's now starting the safety proof process for the farm. He understands some of these, like putting his guns into a locked box but he doesn't understand why he needs to put on outlet covers. Your 14 if you don't understand that you shouldn't stick things in outlets then somethings wrong. He'll do it anyway. He got the outlet covers last time he was in town with Sam.

"Duke stop messing with that." He chuckles grabbing the Walmart bag that Duke was sniffing. "You gonna help me bubba? This is how we get to bring Y/n home. Yeah."

The dog just looks at Bucky before going to his water dish. Bucky looks at the list again. He decides he'll start with his guns. He has two rifles and three pistols. He wants to be able to protect his farm if the time comes. He's also more qualified to own a gun than most people who do since he was trained to use them. Also one of the rifles and one of the pistols was his grandpa's, so he wasn't just gonna throw them away, or sell them. He goes to his room with his new lock. He attaches the lock and tosses the key in his nightstand.

"Hey Mags." He pets Maggie who had been following him around. He decides to move on to the kitchen. He has to put up the knives, he both understands and hates this one. He likes having his knife block on the counter, but he knows knives are dangerous. He takes his knife block and puts it under the sink. He got these locks that need a key. He doesn't understand why he has to do some of these since your 14 and aren't exactly going to drink Lysol but he'll do whatever this list says.

He already got all of the papers he needed, including 5 reference letters. Only one of them could be family so his sister wrote one but her husband couldn't, since he's his brother in law. Steve, Sam, Wanda, and Natasha also wrote letters. Then he needed his Army discharge papers and a lot more. He has it all in a binder he has on his dresser. He's now focusing on safety proofing the farm. His barn is always kept locked so he's going to just moving where he keeps the key to his room.

———

"The home study is next week I have everything ready. But they can still decide not to let you stay." Bucky says. He doesn't want to get your hopes up. Your on the phone with him he's eating lunch, and your hiding in your room.

"School starts tomorrow... I don't want to go." You frowned.

"I know but doll in maybe two weeks you could be back on the farm! Your room is waiting for you. So is your bike it's in the barn, I even put air in your flat tire." He tells you trying to cheer you up

"My tire wasn't flat."

"It's been flat since I met you." He laughs.

"Oh. Thank you."

"Of course doll!" Bucky looks at the ceiling. "I gotta go babydoll I have to clean the horse's stalls out."

"Okay. Bye bucky." You say

"Bye."

You set your phone on the bed and look at the ceiling. You miss him. You didn't necessarily hate it here, they're nice but you hate strangers. You only tolerated Bucky and Steve at first cause Bucky was paying and feeding you. But these people are only feeding you and their kids are loud and annoying. You know you should be happy cause you're here and not with your mom and step dad and you are but you still rather be with people you know.

"Y/n we're going out for lunch. You can stay here if you'd like, and we'll bring you food.

"I'll come with." You say as you grab your phone.

Taglist: @rachaelswrites @killerqueenfan @lukajim @lrosenblut26 @worldssidechick @littleolive24 @mischiefsemimanaged @retiredfromglad @katopotato0 @xennityxen @bucky-boo-bear @thekillingjoke-haha @sunny-the-kitsune @i-have-no-life-charlie @tired-spider-siblings @buckymydarlingangel @ducks118 @evans-stan-thirstthots @buckysbaaee @amorluzymelodia @hanainneverland @bxtchboy69 @wooya1224 @bubs-world @marvelbabes24 @its-sunflower-stardew @lil-mamas-stuff @ogmisslove @austynparksandpizza @wickedravyn @fluffy-bnny @yoruebeautiful @carmellasworld @icrytomuch @teddybear2luv @krissydclayton93 @devilslilbabysblog @masterof-agony @gamingdevil101 @holybatflapexpert @oceaniamaddness

[jjmaybanksblog]

Magic Touch- JJ Maybank

(Not my gif, credit to the owner!)

Summary: After JJ finds out a secret you've been keeping for a long time, he's right by your side to help take care of you. 

Word count: 1,822

Warnings: verbal and physical abuse/violence, mentions of blood, cursing.

You tiptoed through your bedroom window, not trying to attract your mother as you packed your bag to spend the week at John B's. Your mother was just like JJ's father, always smuggling or doing drugs, drinking until they're unconscious, or just passed out on the couch for days on end.

Your mother was never supportive of you, you worked everyday and your mother didn't even have a job. She would take her anger out on you everytime she remembered your dad wasn't in the picture. If you said or did something she didn't like, she would verbally and physically tell you how she felt about it.

No one in the Pogue friend group knew about your struggles at home. Every time you showed up with a new cut or bruise, you always managed to find a new excuse on what happened. You figured you would have to tell them at some point, you just didn't know it would have to be so soon.

You snuck around in your room, packing bathing suits and clothes. Bagging some more essentials you would need just in case. Scanning your room, you quietly zipped your bag shut before opening and closing your bedroom door. Turning around you froze in your tracks to see your mother standing there with her arms crossed.

"Are you staying at that Josh B's house?" Her mother slurred, nearly falling over from just standing there. "His name is John B, and yes I am." You stated, your tone firm even though your legs were shaking. You threw your backpack over your shoulders and walked by your mom

"Is that JJ boy going to be there too?" You ignored her question as you kept your focus on the front door. You had your hand on the doorknob before she shouted at you, "he's just gonna use you!"

Your jaw clenched as you bit your tongue. Turning around to face her you felt anger bubbling from the center of your chest. "JJ is not going to 'use' me. You don't even know him so keep his name out of your mouth." You stepped back after you spoke, not knowing just how harsh your tone sounded.

"Your father would be ashamed of you," she started, "you look just like him. And I fucking hate that, you know why? Because he should be here, and not you. Everytime I look at you, you make me wanna scream!" She spat, her voice was laced with venom and pure hatred.

"I wish you were the one who left and not him." You raised your voice back at your mother whose eyes were widened with fury. Before you could even process what happened, your mother grabbed the nearest empty beer bottle and chucked it at you.

You let out a cry of pain as you felt a sharp blow right above your right eyebrow. You stood there in fear as your fingers reached up to touch the area that had been hit. You lowered your hand to see a small drop of blood on your finger. You flicked the drop of blood away as you quickly swung the front door open. The moment you stepped out of the house, you slammed the door shut and just ran as fast as you could to John B's

Tears threatened to spill from your eyes, feeling mentally drained from those 5 minutes near your mother. You were tired, tired of both the physical and emotional pain every time you were in that house. You wanted to get as far away from there as possible. Your wound went numb as the summer breeze hit it. You were too focused on your legs running to focus on the pain.

Finally running up the driveway to John B's house, you stopped at the front door as you bent over to catch your breath. Calming yourself down, you walked inside to find it was empty. You threw your bag onto the couch and headed into the backyard to see your friends fishing. "Hi guys!" You greeted them with a forced smile as you walked up to them.

"Hey Y/N! Wait, what happened?" Kie asked from the spot she was sitting in. You immediately turned back around and headed back into the house, only to be followed by JJ who dropped his fishing rod. You picked up your pace, knowing he was following you to find out what happened. You ran into the bathroom with him close behind you. Closing the bathroom door on him, you took a look at the small gash on your face.

"Y/N, if you don't open this door right now I will break it down, and you know I will." JJ demanded from the other side of the door. You sighed as you slowly opened the door, watching his face drop in horror and sadness as he saw the wound. "Y/N…" he stepped forward, entering the bathroom with you.

He quickly closed the door behind them as you stared at the cut in the mirror once more. A mixture of sadness and anger bubbled in his veins as he took in the sight of your wound, along with the look of sadness on your face. "Let's get you cleaned up, buttercup." JJ said, pushing his feelings away as to not upset you anymore then you already were. 

Before you could protest, he easily picked you up by the waist and sat you down on the sink counter. He stood between your legs, his arm reaching behind your head to grab a washcloth and a bar of soap.

Your eyes watched his hands as he lathered the washcloth with soap and water before carefully rubbing the cut. You flinched at the painful tingling sensation, backing away from his hand for a moment. "I know, I know, I'm sorry." JJ whispered, his heart aching as she held onto his non busy hand. 

"Who did this to you?" He knew the answer since you had explained to him that you had to go home, but he didn't want to believe it. You took a deep breath, your eyes focused on the bathroom floor. "It was your mom, wasn't it?" He whispered after a moment of silence. You flickered your eyes up to meet his, and that's when he knew his assumptions were correct.

"Y/N, princess… How long has this been going on for?" He asked, tucking a piece of loose hair behind your ear. "Pretty much since we moved here. After my dad just left, she always got mad and constantly told me I reminded her of him. How she wants him here instead of me. It started out verbal but then things just kind of… escalated." You opened up, your voice just above a whisper.

"Why didn't you tell us sooner? Why didn't you tell me?" He was hurt that you had known him your entire life, but never told him about it. "I don't want people thinking I'm asking for attention or lying. And I didn't want to be a burden, I mean you guys have your own issues to deal with, I didn't want to add onto it."

 

He gently held the bottom of your chin in between his thumb and index finger. "Princess, listen to me. You aren't and never will be a burden or any of us, and you never will be. Especially with stuff like this. I mean, I would've let you stay over more often if I knew. I know for a fucking fact John B or Kie would. And Pope will always be there for you, whether a shoulder to cry on or someone who will make you laugh. We're your family, Y/n, we're here for you." JJ couldn't help but feel like a hypocrite for saying these words when he was going through the same things with his father.

"I don't want to talk about it with them right now, especially with John B's dad still possibly out there. I just want us to focus on him." You bit down on your bottom lip, trying to control your shaky breath.

You had always been a tough girl in JJ's eyes. You could take a joke, you weren't afraid to fight your own battles, you knew how to stand up for yourself and your friends. It broke his heart to see you so beaten up, both mentally and physically.

JJ entangled his hand through your hair and pulled you towards him, resting your head on his chest. You inhaled deeply before breaking down into tears, your body trembling against his. His other hand held your back, tracing small shapes onto your skin in an attempt to calm you down.

"Shh. It's okay baby, I got you. You're safe with us." He softly hummed a soft tune in your ear as you clutched onto the fabric of his shirt. "You're okay. I'm right here." He held you tightly in his arms as he heard you slowly calm down. You slowly pulled away from him, wiping your nose with a tissue.

"There we go, princess." He held your face in his hands and gently wiped away the trails of tears with his thumbs. You placed your hands on top of his and held them in their position. His eyes trailed down to your lips, wondering what they would feel like pressed against his.

He softly cleared his throat, his eyes dropping to the ground as he released you. "Let's get you patched up." Your cheeks turned a light pink as you shyly grinned as his back was turned. He reached behind you again to grab a box of bandaids. He quickly ripped one open and placed it on your wound, gently pressing the sides down to make it stay in place. He leaned forward and pressed a delicate kiss to the covered up wound, pulling back to see a soft grin on your lips.

You hopped off the counter and stood on your tiptoes, one hand using his shoulder to keep balance the other placed on the side of his cheek. You pressed a kiss to the left cheek, both of their heartbeats picking up speed. You got back onto your feet, your face warming up as he returned the kind gesture to you. 

As he pulled away, you two made eye contact realizing both of you wanted the same thing. "Can I-" he started, "kiss me." You mumbled. His hands snaked their way around your waist as yours wrapped around his neck. His lips gently and carefully danced with yours, as if you were a glass doll and one wrong move would break you.

Pulling back, he rested his forehead against yours. "It feels better already." You grinned, pressing your lips against his one more time. He opened the bathroom door, his arm still around your waist. "I got the magic touch. That's not the only thing I could touch though."

"JJ."

[coraali]

How to (Write): Physical Appearance

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

01 - Focus on what makes them special

While it's quite okay to write about the general appearance at first (brown eyes, dark hair, blah blah), talk about something that makes them uniquely them afterwards — do they have little freckles peppering their face? Is their smile slightly lopsided? Was one half of their left eyebrow cut off because of a knife accident? Perhaps you can write about what your character resembles (a doll for someone talented with makeup, a mannequin for someone plain-faced but with a (somewhat) desirable body, a 1960s Hollywood actor, etc.). (And so on and so forth.)

There are infinite 'quirks' you can give your character without it being too basic. Mentioning that the character has brown eyes like sixty times in a single book can get a bit boring, and doesn't really quite paint a mental picture of what the character looks like.

extremely short or tall (Also, don't make them all tall! Sometimes tall may be a bit attractive to some, but gnome representation matters, too.)

cool birthmark (that might resemble a dino or something)

abhorrent eyesight (another sidenote: some people use contacts, too, if you don't want to use glasses)

a bunch of tattoos on their back

an overly long nose (& other physical extremes)

02 - Give them "Imperfections"

"Nobody is perfect": that saying goes for fiction, too. We can't all be walking around with perfect skin and hairless legs, even if we wanted to. Fictional characters should not just have desirable traits but also traits that doesn't fall under the beauty standard (which varies region to region).

With that being said, some (quite) internationally recognized beauty "imperfections" may include:

acne (most common are whiteheads, blackheads, pimples)

hair that isn't smooth or abundant

dark eye bags (though they are, arguably, very hot on certain people)

eyes that look like they're constantly on crack/bloodshot

gap tooth

(Just to be clear: I'm putting "imperfections" in heavy quotations because they aren't really imperfections — more like things that society thinks are imperfections.)

HOW TO DESCRIBE

Don't dedicate an entire paragraph to describing a single character, it can bore the reader out really quickly. Instead, mention their appearance in passing ("- her crimson dragon tattoo poked its slanted eyes out of the slit in her dress -") so the reader can slowly gather information and will not be overwhelmed with it.

Linked to the first point, little description is often better than too much. Too much description can lead the writing away from the actual story and refocus the attention on unimportant things.

Relate description to the story. I'm not really sure how to expand on this point, but just don't throw in that [character] has a broken leg when there's a heated discussion going on (unless if the argument is talking about legs or something happens to the leg).

i'm begging you please don't describe eyes as 'orbs.'

Eyes don't need to be just described by colour. They can be compared to things (windows, almonds) or they may be described by the feeling they give off (penetrating, suspicious). You can also describe the eyes by using verbs — like, "his eyes were lit up with mirth" which could describe eyes that are often joyful.

(I couldn't get many ideas out for this post, so feel free to add on!)

[nothingbutfangirlsmut]

The Girl Out of Time

Pairing: Bucky x Reader and Sam x Reader

Background: Willow Roffe was born and raised in Brooklyn. She lived her life as happily as she could with her two childhood best friends Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers. When they both left her to join the military she tried to continue with life but that didn't get to happen for her for the simple fact that she meant something to James Buchanan Barnes.

Rating: Story will be overall MATURE but not every chapter. There will be strong language, talk of both mental and physical abuse, some good ole angst, and smut. There will be a warning at the beginning of the chapter when it includes smut.

Chapter 28

"It's that doctor. This was all him." I said as we ran.

"How do you know?" Sam asked.

I looked over to Steve but he was concentrating on where we were going.

"I just do. It's all way too coincidental. Everything that happened led to that doctor being alone with James." I explained.

My heart was pounding furiously as we ran around a corner. Steve slowed in front of us at the sight of a body on the floor.

"Help me" a voice croaked.

Steve slowly moved closer. In the next room bodies were all over the place. What the hell happened?

"Help" the voice croaked again.

I stepped around Steve to see the doctor on the floor. A red hot rage filled me instantly.

"Get up" Steve ordered.

Before the guy had a chance I grabbed his shirt jerking him to his feet. I slammed him hard into the wall.

"Who are you? What do you want?" Steve asked harshly from beside me.

The man smiled sinisterly.

"To see an empire fall." He spat.

I didn't even get to retort when Sam was suddenly slammed into the wall next to me. I jumped turning around. Steve tried to subdue Bucky but he swung hard.

"Shit" I breathed out.

I grabbed Sam trying to help him to his feet but he was out cold. The two super soldiers moved into the next room. All thoughts of the doctor flew out of my mind as I ran to catch up with my friends. When I reached them Bucky threw Steve door the elevator shaft.

"Steve!" I shouted making Bucky turn towards me.

"What the hell are you doing?" I asked him harshly.

"Stay out of my way doll." He snapped.

He wasn't Bucky. The look in his eyes was the same one as the first time Steve and I had seen him as the Winter Soldier. Somehow the switch got flipped again.

I chased after him. I couldn't let him disappear again. He didn't know what he was doing. He needed help.

I got down into the main lobby to find James in the middle of fighting several agents. None of them stood a chance against him.

"James!" I shouted trying to get his attention.

I ran towards him just as Tony came around the corner. A sonic wave hit me making me crumbled to my knees. My ears rang from it. I covered my eyes as a bright flash filled the room. When I could see and hear again Bucky had both Sharon and Nat on him. He knocked Sharon off then grabbed Nat by the throat. He slammed her on top a table.

"You could at least recognize me." Nat said through clenched teeth.

I stumbled to my feet as T'Challa jumped out kicking Bucky in the chest. I checked on Nat quickly as the two men started to fight. She was panting from lack of oxygen but otherwise okay.

Bucky knocked off T'Challa then ran up the stairs. I moved to follow him but someone grabbed my wrist pulling me back.

"You can't help him." Tony said sharply.

"I have to try." I said softly.

Tony tightened his hold on my wrist but I could still get out of it. I ripped my hand away from him. Bucky was no longer on the stairs. I turned and ran as quickly as I could. I followed my instincts running out the side door. A few feet in front of me James was running full speed. He shoved open a heavy metal door that led to a helicopter pad. He ripped something off the door of the helicopter then opened the door. I hurried to the other side doing the same and climbing inside.

"What the hell are you doing?" James asked harshly.

"If you're leaving then so am I." I told him.

"Are you out of your mind?" He glared at me.

"Better get going before we get caught again." I stated simply.

He growled but did as I said. He started flipping switches making the copter roar to life.

"I don't understand what you're doing." He said as he started to lift us off the pad.

"I've lost you too many times already. I'll be damned if I let it happen again." I said sternly.

The metal door leading to the pad flew open as Steve ran out. His eyes locked with both mine and Bucky's. He ran full speed then jumped grabbing hold of the helicopter. With his insane strength he kept us from getting too far. When Bucky tried to get him off Steve grabbed a hold of the edge of the pad.

"He can't seriously being doing this." I said in disbelief.

Bucky tried to make him let go but ended up crashing us into the pad.

"Shit! Hold on doll!" James shouted as we went down.

I closed my eyes for only a second. When I opened them we were falling into the water. I looked over to James to see blood trickling down the window his head was laying against.

"Jamie!" I shouted right before my head went under water.

I had to kick at my door a few times to get it open. When I got to Jamie's side Steve was already there ripping the door open. I helped him pull him out then drag him up to the surface. I gasped for air as soon as I could.

"Have you lost your mind?" Steve shouted at me as we swam to the shore.

I knew he was mad but he was scared more than anything. He could have just lost both his best friends in one moment. All I had selfishly thought about was James and how I couldn't loose him again.

"You scared the absolute hell out of me Willow." He chided as we drug James out of the water.

"I'm sorry" I said softly.

I fell to my knees next to Jamie. His chest was rising and falling normally which eased my worries a bit.

"What if you got killed? Did you even stop to think about me or Sam? What would we do without you?" Steve asked as he kneeled beside me.

Tears fell down my cheeks as I looked down at James.

"I couldn't risk loosing him again." I choked out.

Steve's arms were instantly around me. I cried harder the instant my head was against his chest.

"Cap!" Sam's voice brought me back to reality.

I quickly sat up wiping my eyes. I wasn't sure I could explain to Sam why I was crying. Steve knew me well enough to know why. I was overwhelmed. Too much going on around me and in my head.

"He still breathing?" Sam asked coming to a stop in front of us.

"That's not funny." I grumbled.

I didn't give Steve a chance to do anything. I bent down picking up Bucky's unconscious body. I positioned him over my shoulders so I held one arm and one leg to keep him in place.

"Willow I can carry him." Steve chided.

"So can I." I said simply.

Steve sighed but nodded. He knew I wasn't going to let him take James from me. I followed behind the two men towards our "getaway car". I chuckled to myself at the sight of the small dark blue beetle. Sam opened the door then moved up the seat so I could sit James in the back seat. I climbed in to sit next to him. The car ride was silent but the air was tense. I knew both men wanted to say something. Most likely two completely different things.

Steve pulled the car into an old run down warehouse. I pulled James out then carried him to the other side of the room where I gently sat him against the wall.

"Sam, give me a hand." Steve said.

I watched as Steve raised up part of an old wench then nodded for Sam to do something. I stepped forward when Sam grabbed Bucky's metal arm.

"What the hell are you doing?" I questioned harshly.

"When he wakes up he could still be the Winter Soldier. It's just a safety precaution." Steve told me.

I scoffed turning away as Steve tightened it down on his friend's arm. When he was done he excused himself out of the room.

"Care to explain why you ran off like that?" Sam asked quietly.

"I didn't want us to loose track of him again." I told him.

He sighed.

"Will, you promised to be honest with me." He said in exasperation.

"How can I be honest if I don't know what the hell is going on myself?" I asked a bit harsher than I meant to.

"What does that mean?" Sam questioned.

I was the one to sigh this time.

"Ever since we found him things have started to change. The more I talk to him. The longer I'm near him I can feel every emotion I use to have coming back to the surface. They're not just memories anymore." I explained softly.

I felt so bad. I didn't understand it at first. I thought I was just caring about him more because I could remember him. In reality, every second around him brought me closer to loving him again. I didn't want to hurt Sam. He was a great guy and he'd been there for me through so much since we met but I can't stop these feelings from resurfacing.

"You're falling in love with him again aren't you?" Sam asked.

"I don't know if you'd call it falling." I muttered.

"Willow" Sam huffed.

I walked over to Sam then leaned my head against his chest. His arms wrapped around me as he rested his chin on top my head.

"Just give me some time to figure out exactly what I'm feeling. Please." I spoke into his chest.

I stepped back not paying much attention to the groaning behind me. Sam grabbed each side of my face then kissed me softly. Another groan behind me made Sam and I both turned around to see James awake and watching us with a look of either pain or disgust.

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