#like we’ve been over this several years ago why are you still arguing about it but with new characters

[apostaterevolutionary]

Wanting to play bg3 cause it looks really good vs not wanting to get invested in it cause of the fandom drama, which is just a repeat of dragon age fandom drama almost literally verbatim

[mirkwoodshewolf]

Road trip; Winchester brothers x sister reader

*Author's note*

This was a request submitted to me anonymously so to the anon out there I hope this story finds you and that you like it. Took me a while but I finally came up with a cute little fic. However it maybe less of a raodtrip roadtrip fic and more of reader bonding with her brothers over a road trip but I hope you and all the readers out there like it nonetheless.

Taglist:

@queen-paladin

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels

@psychosupernatural

@plethora-of-things

@waddles03

@remussl0vers

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I was currently reading up on some books that the Men of Letters had in their library about Celtic mythology.  After that last selkie case, I wanted to read up more on Celtic lore and see what else there is out there since the personal Winchester knowledge is severely lacking in that department.

“Yo (Y/n)! Meeting room now.” I heard Dean’s voice call out as I heard a knock at the table I was sitting at.  I jumped in my seat and I said.

“Jesus Christ Dean, you know how I feel when you sneak up out of nowhere and just yell at me. Especially when I’m reading.”

“I swear you and Sammy with your books.” Dean rolled his eyes.

“Wouldn’t kill you to learn something new.” I muttered under my breath as I closed the book.

“What was that?”

“Nothing, nothing. C’mon let’s get going.” I walked out of the library with Dean following behind me and as we came to the meeting room, Sam sat at the globe table his laptop closed.  I took a seat next to him and whispered, “Any idea what he’s planning?”

“I have no idea.” He whispered back.

“What I have planned is no need for concern nor whispering now shut up you two and listen up.” Dean said as he took the seat across from us.  “Now look, we’ve been at this hunting thing for a long, long time. We’ve been everywhere across the country more times than most people take their entire lives. But when was the last time we gave ourselves a little vacation?” Sam and I looked at each other perplexed.

 “A vacation?” asked Sam.

“Yeah. A vacation Sammy. You know the thing that people do when they want to get away from it all—”

“I know what a vacation is Dean. But you know what we do isn’t a normal 9 to 5 job, right?”

“Yeah. But look at what Jody and the girls have been doing. They make time for themselves every now and then. Especially after finding Kai’s evil twin.”

“Question though Dean,” I asked slowly raising my hand. “Why bring this up now?”

“Haven’t you guys noticed that ever since we beat God at his own game, there hadn’t been as many cases to go to lately. Besides that selkie case, the last real case we fought in was like what….two, three weeks ago?” Sam and I shrugged in agreement. “So really, what’s the harm in the three of us getting out of this dusty old bunker and seeing the sights for real this time.” A bark soon came up and our newest family member Miracle came running up and Dean knelt down and gave Miracle some scritches.  “See? Even Miracle agrees with me.”

“You know it still seems weird to see you so affectionate with dogs. All these years and you finally allow us to have a dog.” I stated.

“I never hated dogs. We just couldn’t afford to keep one since you know we were always saving the world one apocalypse at a time. Now, this big guy can stay with us, ain’t that right boy?” Miracle let out a bark.

“He is right. I mean it’s been two days since the selkie incident and usually we’re out the door with another case or a new lead on our big bad of the year. Maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad idea to get out for a while.” Sam said.

“(N/n), even if you say no you’re still coming with us cause we’re the oldest here.” Dean tried to out argue me but I told him.

“Did I say that it was a dumb idea? All I said was this was out of character for someone like you. But I wouldn’t mind getting out of here and seeing the open road without a constant threat breathing down our necks.”

“Then we’re agreed. Pack only the essentials and meet me outside in 10 minutes.” Dean and Miracle soon headed up the stairs and once the door to the bunker shut I said to Sam.

“He definitely has a destination planned out.”

“Oh yeah. But let’s just pretend we don’t for his sake.” Sam suggested as he gave me a gentle pat on the shoulder before heading to his room while I headed to mine.

We put out stuff in the trunk and I got in the back with Lucky at my feet while my brothers took their usual spots up front.  Once the doors closed Sam had asked Dean.

“Dean, since we’re going off the books for this particular trip. Do you think that maybe just this once you could lend the music control to someone else?” Dean gave Sam his raised brow and ‘bitch please’ face.

“What’s the number one rule in the car (Y/n)?”

“Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole and piggyback rocks out.” I said petting Miracle’s fur.

“And this is why one day she’ll be taking your seat cause she doesn’t complain about my music choices.” Dean started Baby up and her engine let out that beautiful purr before Dean drove her out from the garage and we set out on the open road.

I’ve been raised out on the open road.  Being a hunter meant never really settling down in one place for too long.  I could name every interstate and exit ramp by the time I was 10 years old.  But here and now, this was different.  Seeing the trees whiz by, the clouds that spread across the Blue sky, the sun shining off Baby’s hood and rearview mirrors, this trip felt—comforting.

Soon coming through the radio was Kansas infamous song ‘Carry on my Wayward son’.  When the acapella voices of the band came through the speakers of the car, Sam couldn’t help but roll his eyes.

“C’mon Sammy! You never go wrong with Kansas. This is practically our theme song.”

“Our theme song?” Sam asked.

“Yeah. Now suck it up and take it all in.” as Dean and I began jamming out to the song, him playing the drums on the steering wheel while I did my air guitar before the two of us began singing.  Our voices drowned out by the volume of the song but it didn’t deter the passion that Dean and I had as we would belt out the song.  Eventually Sam got in on the action as he’d play the piano part on Baby’s console.  When the guitar solo came up, Dean proclaimed.  “Take it (n/n)!” I then proceeded to copy the famous guitar solo as my brothers cheered out to me and the three of us closed out the song in a high note.

“What’s say about making a youtube cover of that song?” I suggested.

“Might not be a bad idea. Never too old to learn to play the guitar.” Dean said.

“I don’t think I’m cut out to be a youtube star.” Sam said.

“Sam, do I need to remind you of the time we went to that world where our lives was a tv show and all the fanfics my actress had both read and written for being a tumblr star as well as an actress?”

“No need to bring that up thank you (Y/n).” Sam stopped me as he held his hand out.

“You guys getting hungry?”

“Baby sis you always read my mind. There’s also a rest stop around the bend from the food exits. We can have ourselves a little picnic there and give Miracle some exercise, what’d you say boy?” Miracle let out a bark of agreement.  About a quarter mile later, Dean took the exit and we pulled into the first fast food joint we saw and ordered our meals before driving towards the rest stop about a half mile down from the restaurant.

Dean parked the car and once the engine stopped, we all came outside and stretched ourselves out after a few hours of driving.  I leashed Miracle up as we walked towards the picnic tables up ahead and sat down to eat our food.

“But in all seriousness Dean, where exactly are we going? And will we be getting a motel room to at least sleep in tonight?” I asked.

“My dead little sister, sometimes you just gotta take in the journey and not worry about the destination.” Dean responded as he bit into his double burger.  I dipped my fries into my chocolate milkshake and Sam said.

“I still can’t understand why you do that. Everytime you get a milkshake or a frosty you dip your fries into it.”

“The perfect balance of sweet and salty, as well as hot and cold Sammy boy. Don’t knock it till you try it.” I said dipping three fries into my shake and stuffing them into my mouth.  Miracle laid his head across my lap as he looked up at me with those puppy dog eyes of his.  “Oh no mister. Chocolate will kill you, but I can give you this.” I tore a portion of my chicken sandwich and fed it to him after telling him to wait and be a good boy.

“(Y/n), don’t feed him human food.” Sam reprimanded me.

“Apparently you don’t know what Dean does in the mornings after finishing his breakfast.”

“(N/n) we had a deal don’t you tell him.” Sam let out a disgusted groan.

“Seriously Dean? You let him lick your plate before putting it into the sink?”

“It gets washed in the end.” Dean tried to reason while I stood up and gathered up my trash all the while picking up Miracle’s leash to take him for a little walk around the back so that he could do his business.

“I swear I love stirring the pot to get those two arguing over the dumbest things. Guess Gabriel rubbed off on me in more ways than one.” I said to Miracle as I tossed my trash into the trashcan before we entered the trail behind the rest stop.  Miracle started off by peeing at the first thing he had sniffed which was a sing pole for the ‘please clean up after your dogs’.

I walked him through the forest trail and he practically peed at almost every tree and bush we came across.  As we walked my mind trailed back to all the people that we had lost, especially Cas, Jack and Gabriel.  Hell Gabriel was my Guardian angel, who would’ve known at the time but it did make sense.  Whenever he made an attempt to mess with my brothers, he always made sure to never have me be harmed or be involved in any insane scheme he came up with.

The day he was killed in the apocalypse world when we tried to get Jack and Mary back was the day I was most devastated.  Right until the end, he made sure that I didn’t get hurt and ultimately sacrificed himself to Michael so that I and my brothers could escape and get out alive.  I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn’t even realize that I had bumped into someone causing the two of us to fall to the ground.

Miracle had came up to us huffing and whimpering his tail wagging and I immediately got off the stranger and said.

“I am so sorry I should’ve paid attention to where I was going I didn’t mean to…”

“No, no it’s completely my fault. What I get for just standing in the middle of the trail.” He responded.  When I got a good look at him, I almost felt my heart go boom.

He was pretty cute.  Dark almost black curly hair that framed his face in both an adorable yet mysterious way.  He had hazel eyes that held both wonder yet mischief behind them.  His clothing wasn’t anything too extravagant, a Bob Dylan t-shirt and dark pants and he wore a few rings on his fingers and a metal bracelet as well as a watch.  And a jawline so sharp and strong it was unfair that someone around my age could look this handsome.

“Are you sure you don’t wanna exchange licenses or proof of insurance?” I finally spoke up trying to keep the blush I was feeling rising at my cheeks at bay.

“No, no, the fault was entirely my own.” He said with a charming smile.  Oh Christ even his smile was to die for.  Miracle then went up and gave him a sniff as he let out some happy whimpers.

“Miracle no down!”

“It’s fine I’ve got a dog at home just like this one and she’s an affectionate little girl. Although she’s not so little anymore even though she thinks she is.” He said laughing as he gave Miracle some scritches on top of his head.

You know how dogs can be trained to detect cancer or find weapons or drugs at airports.  Well my brothers and I have been training Miracle to detect whether someone was human or not and he always let us know by either growling (Werewolf, vampire, demon, wendigo, shapeshifter), lay down (djinn, vetala, reapers, witches), or to stand completely still but firm for ghosts, ghouls and everything else.

And with how he was acting, I knew I could relax since Miracle would never react this way towards a normal human being so I knew this boy could be trusted.

“What’s her name?”

“Dixie. Found her dumped at the side of the road when she was just a puppy.”

“I swear, humans can be such monsters.”

“Tell me about it. But with time, food and water, she was acting like a normal puppy should and has been for the past 10 years now. How long have you had Miracle, you said his name was?”

“Yeah, we’ve only had him for a year now but we didn’t get him as a puppy. Was left behind at a gas station.”

“Aww poor guy, well lucky for him he found a good family to take care of him.” We stared into each other’s eyes for a moment and it felt like my entire world was flipped upside down.  I awkwardly cleared my throat and said.

“Well we uhh—we better get back. My brothers will start to think we’ve been kidnapped or something.”

“Yeah, yeah I better get back on the road myself. Got a long way to Georgia.” He said in the same manner of awkwardness as he stuffed his hands into his pockets and we both stood up.

“Georgia? Funny you don’t seem to have the accent. No offense.”

“None taken, I’m just heading down that way to help out my aunt. She got injured pretty badly and I said I’d help her at her shop.”

“Such a gentleman, don’t see many of you out in the world.”

“Oh we’re out there. Just gotta know where to look. But I think it’s ungentlemanly to not introduce myself, I’m Paul.”

“(Y/n).” the second we took hands, I felt a spark of electricity surge through me and I let out a tiny gasp.  There’s no way I could be falling for this guy so fast could I? No, no, no it’s just a crush. Just like with Jack, it’s not real.  But then again I knew the term soulmates were real thanks to that one cupid who talked about the destiny of John and Mary Winchester being together.

Snap out of it (Y/n)! when I realized we were still shaking hands, I nervously took back my hand and apologized but he told me no worries and the two of us decided to walk out of the forest trail and we continued to talk to one another.

“So you went to college in New York to study law?”

“Yeah, One more semester and I’ll finally be done after seven years.” Paul told me.

“My big brother Sam tried to study at law school in California but unfortunately it didn’t work out for him.”

“Oh that’s too bad. Was it the stress cause there have been times where I’ve wanted to quit because of the immense pressure. That’s why I didn’t even try for Standford since they’re so strict.”

“I think it’s that school rivalry talking.”

“Or that.” We both laughed softly.

“So what’s the city of New York actually like?”

“Hold on, I thought you had said you’ve been to everywhere across America.”

“I have. But the only part of New York I ever went to was in upstate. I’ve never been to the actual city. Is it true you can pretty much get anywhere by walking?”

“Most part. But I take the train since my campus is in the heart of the city and I’m taking lodgings in Queens. You know if you’re ever in the area I wouldn’t mind showing you around the city sometime. I can show you all the hot spots and where to get the best pizza.”

“I’ve heard Chicago’s is better.”

“Okay that is a straight up lie! They deep dish their pizza in grease and I will proudly stand by that!” he proclaimed.  I giggled softly when I heard Dean’s voice cry out.

“Yo (Y/n)! Time to hit the road let’s go double time!” I groaned and Paul said.

“That big brother or eldest brother?”

“Eldest brother. I gotta go, it was real nice to meet you Paul. And again sorry about running into you.”

“Like I said, I was the one just parked in the middle of the trail. Take care of yourself (Y/n), you too Miracle.” Miracle let out a bark as he allowed Paul to rub the top of his head and I urged him back towards Baby.  As we came up to the impala, Dean asked.

“Who’s the boy?”

“Just get in the car.” I got Miracle into the backseat before following in after him and shut the door.

“He got a name?” asked Sam.

“Don’t you start too, I don’t need the big brother protection program on my ass.”

“Oh don’t you worry baby sis. Cause we’ll get you to talk one way or another about him.” Dean said as he got into the car before revving Baby up.

We continued the drive long throughout the night and by morning we finally reached Georgia by mid-afternoon. As we drove through the county Dean soon took the exit towards Blairsville, each time he took the exit that had that name.

“No destination huh Dean?” I mocked as I now sat in the front with him while Sam took the back to rest.

“Can’t hurt to make a couple of stops along the way.”

“Yeah well can we at least check into a motel? I feel so sticky and gross.”

“That’s good. That way no boy tries to flirt with you like the boy we met at that rest stop in Missouri.”

“Oh my god Dean not this again.”

“No, no, no. You gotta know this baby girl. Boys at that age are after one thing and one thing only. Besides in our line or work, he could’ve been a monster for all we know.”

“He wasn’t because Miracle acted the same way he does around you in the mornings. He didn’t give any of his training cues when he smelled Paul.”

“Paul? Who names their kid Paul?”

“Dean knock it off. Our sister knows how to take care of herself she could well beat Paul’s ass if he tried anything to her.” Sam groaned as he finally woke up from his nap.

“I can’t tell if you’re on my side or not there Sammy.” I bluntly said.

“Be thankful I know what you’re capable of doing on your own. You’ve been a karate master since you were 14.”

“I wouldn’t say master but I know a thing or two.”

“Still, I don’t want you talking or flirting with any boys while we’re here. You’re our sister and you’re too young for that shit.”

“I’m 18 years old Dean. I’m an adult and can make my own decisions.”

“Not when it comes to boys you’re not.” I let out a groan as I turned away from him and crossed my arms over my chest.

“You really are a stubborn ass.”

“Better to be a stubborn ass than a neglectful asshole.”

“What Dean’s trying to say is we’re this protective over you because we love you and we don’t wanna see you get hurt. Any more than you have in the past, especially now since we’ve finally managed to get our lives to normal since defeating God.” Sam piped in as I felt his hand on top of my shoulder giving it a loving shake.  I looked behind him and placed my hand on top of his.

“I know, but you guys also need to understand I’m not the same frightened little girl you found curled over her dead mother’s corpse covered in blood. You guys taught me everything I need to know in defending myself, so did Gabriel and Cas. Bobby and Jodi. So can I just try to live out whatever normal young adult life I can on my own and if I ever need you guys to bail me out or a shoulder to cry on, I’ll call you?”

“I can live by that.” I turned to Dean and said his name.  He let out a sharp breath.

“Just when I think I can out argue yah, you always tend to play the heartstrings card. And even though I hate chick flick moments, I guess I can agree to those terms. Just as long as you let me have a go at whoever pressures you into sex or drugs cause that’s where I draw the line of not getting involved.”

“Then it’s a deal.” Dean continued his drive through Blairsville and we soon saw the reason why he had wanted to come here.  All over the county there were banners, flyers and signs for the upcoming Great American Pie Festival.  Pies, parades, fireworks, food trucks, games and prizes were all promised and it all began tonight.

“Why doesn’t this surprise me?” asked Sam.

“C’mon Sammy, after all that we’ve done for the world I deserve me some damn pie! Now like (Y/n) said we’ll check into a motel, get cleaned up and then get us some pie.” He sniffled and I asked him teasingly.

“Are you crying Dean?”

“What? No I’m not crying, you’re crying.” He brushed off my statement as he kept driving down the road until we reached the closest motel.

“Dibs on the first shower!” I called out as Dean turned off Baby once we reached the parking lot and we all came out of the car.  Sam took Miracle for a walk while Dean and I got ourselves checked into a room.  Once we got into the room, I grabbed a spare set of clothes and my bath essentials and headed towards the bathroom to take a nice, hot relaxing shower.

A few hours passed and after getting ourselves comfortable and situated in our hotel room it was now time to head out to the main street where they would kick off the festival with the firework show and then by noon tomorrow they would have their big parade.

My brothers and I followed the crowd of people as we could hear everyone’s excitement for this year’s Pie festival.

“This is my destiny. I was born for this, I was made for this.” Dean muttered to himself.

“Dude are you seriously giving yourself a pep talk right now?” asked Sam incredulously.

“Shut up Sammy I need to get into my Zen pie mode.” Sam and I looked at each other and shook our heads.  The second we got to the main pie gallery where all the pie shops were set up, we stopped and Sam and I could see on Dean’s face that he had just seen the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.  “It’s….just so beautiful.”

“Just don’t OD yourself tough guy.” I said patting his gut softly.  Dean shoved me playfully and was the first to walk through the streets of pie.  “Shall we Sammy?”

“After you.” He told me and we both walked into the gallery square and took in all the sights the festival had to offer.  Balloons and banners all over the square, multiple shops and food trucks on every corner, hundreds of people all walking around already with their pie purchases and soon we found a bench to sit on.

Sam and I sat down and waited for Dean to find us with his treasure hoard.  As I looked around I said to Sam.

“Could you imagine us being in something like this during our many apocalyptic savings?”

“If it were up to Dean, we’d come to it in a heartbeat but at the time. We had bigger fish to fry. Now I think we might just end up going to every pie fest across the country.”

“I don’t think it’d be so bad. I mean we did have a good drive here. Not too much traffic, decent weather. Even Miracle seemed okay with the trip.”

“Yeah he did. And probably best that we left him at the motel, we still need to work on his approach towards people.”

“Tell me about it. Plus all this food, he’d be all over everybody.” After a few minutes of watching the crowd, Dean finally came in with a large box but he had to quickly spin around to avoid someone nearly knocking it over.  He gave the man his best death glare as he came over and sat on the opposite of Sam.  We looked down and that box held at least eight pies all ranging in various flavors.

“Didn’t I tell you not to OD? At this point all them pies will put you into a pie coma.” I said to Dean.

“You know you worry too much (n/n). Plus I can’t have a little sister whose thinks pie is a dried up heave of dough. That is sacrilege!”

“I never said that. I just said I can’t eat pie by itself. Now pie with ice cream sign me up any day of the week.”

“I’ll tell you where the ice cream truck is at if you take at least one bite of this pie, by itself.” Dean then handed me what looked like a pumpkin pie smothered in whipped cream.  He tossed me a fork and I picked it up before standing up.  I walked over to Dean and just as I was about to plunge the fork into the pie, I then shoved the pie into his face which caused Sam to bite back a laugh.

“I can’t tell you how much I’ve always wanted to do that to someone. And it’s just as funny as it is in cartoons.” Sam and I both soon started laughing as he high fived me.

“Funny.” Dean said as the pie finally fell from his face.  “Real funny there kid.”

“Hey Dean, you got a little something there on your face.” Teased Sam as Dean gave him his bitch face before Sam started bursting out laughing and I walked off shaking my head snickering under my breath.

I walked along through the crowd and soon found the ice cream food truck and as luck would have it, it lied right beside a chocolate pie shop.  Vanilla ice cream and chocolate pie, oh hell yes.  I jogged over to the food truck and ordered a small vanilla cup and paid the guy what I owed before jogging over to Aunt Mina’s Pies.  I dinged the little bell and was soon greeted by a familiar voice.

“Welcome to Aunt Mina’s how may I—(Y/n)?”

“Paul? We’ll all be damned.”

“Small world ain’t it? You and your brothers here for the pie festival?”

“Yep. Believe me, you mention the word pie and my eldest brother goes crazy over them.”

“He wouldn’t have been the one carrying the box with eight pies including one of my aunt’s apple pies, would he?”

“That’s the guy.”

“So what can I get you?”

“One of your best chocolate chip pies please.”

“Coming right up.” he gave me a wink before leaving the window and called out the order as he began prepping the pan.

“So your aunt’s a pie maker?”

“Not to toot my own horn, but my aunt makes one of the best pies down here in the south. Even her shop over at New Orleans say that she’s the best damn pie maker they’ve ever had. But since her car accident she’s been needing help run the various shops. My older sister is running the main one in New Orleans while I’m helping out with the festival. Then of course my cousins co-own the shop up in Philly.”

“Wow, proud family business. What my brother wouldn’t give to have his own pie shop. Though if it were up to him he’d eat all the merchandise rather than sell it.”

“It’s tempting. I remember the first summer I helped my aunt out in this very festival. I was so hungry by the end of it all, I had eaten about five of her coconut cream pies. It was well worth the beating I took later that night.” We both laughed before my pie was finally ready.

“How much do I owe yah?”

“Nothing, it’s on the house.”

“Paul no I-I can’t…..”

“Consider it a first time festival welcome freebie.”

“You sure you won’t get in trouble?” I whispered as I took the pie from him.

“Who knows. But if you’d really like to pay me back, would you mind joining me in watching the fireworks later tonight?” once again I felt my cheeks grow hot and I said.

“Will you provide another slice of pie for me?”

“I’ll sneak one out if I have to.” He gave me another wink as he smiled mischievously.

“Then I’d be honored Paul.”

“Great. How about meeting me back here in 20 minutes? I get off around that time.”

“It’s a date.” We both were shocked at my wording and I quickly tried to fix it but that’s when I heard Dean’s voice say.

“What’s a date?” we both looked and there stood both Sam and Dean looking at us skeptical.

“Dean, Sam. This is Paul, he’s offered to allow me to be his escort to the fireworks show later tonight.”

“Did he now?” asked Dean as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“Yes sir. Just as a friendly welcome to the festival. She told me that it’s your first time here at our little pie festival. Lots to do over just a weekend and it can get overwhelming.” Paul said to my brothers.

“I’m sure it does.” Said Sam with a curt nod.  I looked at them widened eyed and annoyed desperately trying to get them to remember our conversation in the car.

“I promise I’ll be the perfect gentleman and you two are more than welcome to join us.” Oh god please no Paul why did you have to suggest that.

“That sounds like…..” Dean first started off but Sam interrupted him.

“Actually we’re good. Fireworks really aren’t our thing but you kids go and have fun.” Dean turned to Sam but Sam arched a brow at Dean and gestured with his head.  Dean glared at Sam and he said to me.

“Be home no later than 10.”

“Midnight.” I suggested.

“11.” Dean negotiated.

“11:30.”

“Fine 11:30 and not a minute later young lady. And you, Timothee Chalamet don’t you dare try any funny business. Cause I’ll know.”

“Yeah okay Dean, let’s go before you get us kicked out.” Sam escorted Dean away.

“Wow. Your brothers are pretty protective over you aren’t they?” exhaled Paul.

“You don’t know the half of it. I apologize for them, I’ll understand if you don’t want to watch the fireworks with me anymore.”

“No, no I still want you to join me. I can understand protective siblings, you should see my sister. You know how mama bears are super protective over their cubs, well they ain’t got nothing when it comes to my sister. God did she ever used to embarrass me when I was a teenager.”

“It’s tough being the youngest sibling.”

“I’d toast to that. So like I said, meet me here in 15 minutes?” he said looking down at his watch.

“Yeah, see you then Paul.” I took my pie and ice cream and walked away still feeling that blush at my cheeks.  When I went back to the bench I had seen that both my brothers were gone.  I looked around but couldn’t spot them anywhere when I felt a vibration in my pocket.  I set my food down and took out my phone to see a text from Sam.  I unlocked my phone and read the message.

Sammy-boy: Headed back to the motel, had to check up on Miracle before the fireworks started. You know how he gets. Have fun and be safe, see you at 11:30 on the dot.

“Thanks Sam.” I sat down at the table and poured my ice cream cup next to my pie and proceeded to eat my dessert.

[red-balloon12]

Everybody Hates Lila (And Why It’s Concerning Sometimes)

Lila Rossi is not a stranger in the Miraculous fandom. In fact I’d argue she’s more infamous than Gabriel in some cases. She’s despised by nearly everyone and while some reasons are more justifiable than others, she’s all around not a good person and a mid at best character.

But here’s my deal with it. The fandom hates this girl to I’d like to say an….unhealthy degree. Like the amount of salt this character gets is unmatched. And I feel like the causation of all of this salt doesn’t really live up to the response.

Lila is a liar who causes characters to act out of character very often. And not only that but she also is Marinette’s main rival now and is a jerk to her. She’s underutilized and her lies aren’t that convincing and yet the story wants to convince us she’s more important than she really is pre butterfly miraculous.

This is Lila’s character summed up. At the most I’d expect is frustration mixed in with mild dislike. Reasonable but not over the top. Instead though, I see SEVERAL people make so many salt fics and talk so much shit about her that I just have to sit down and say….y’all need to chill. You all seriously need to chill.

The fandom talks about this character like she’s the spawn of Satan, something we’ve been criticizing Astruc for doing with Chloe, all because she doesn’t have as many redeeming traits as her. Did we forget that they’re BOTH kids? Both of them still have room to improve on themselves.

And I’ll admit it, I was one of those people who kept on saying “Why demonize Chloe when we have Lila” but thinking on it now, neither of them deserves to have that fate. If we REALLY need a character to do the whole “people don’t change” thing, why not Gabriel?

It’s so much better to have this lesson taught to adults to not be like Gabriel, to accept change and loss and to be better. To teach how heavy the impact of a lost love can be and how old age isn’t an excuse to be “stuck in your ways”.

Plus the lesson works better for someone who’s older than for teenagers who’s literally at the stage of their lives where change is everything. And I’m not saying Lila needs to be redeemed or she isn’t allowed to be a villain. What I’m saying is that the over salting on her character, a character that can be easily fixed and patched up, is kinda dumb and kinda annoying to see…especially when some people do like Lila.

SPEAKING OF WHICH, don’t think I’ve forgotten what happened years ago with that one fan that claimed that they loved Lila. That’s what happens when you take salting on a character WAY too far. And I can say that it’s only gotten a little better.

I just don’t understand why people can’t spend their energy talking about how to make a character better instead of salting on them 24/7 and this goes for all of the characters in ML.

I’m gonna be in the minority when I say this but Lila doesn’t deserve to be salted in as much as she does. She deserves reevaluation and a true villain arc. The constant bashing and insulting her at any chance ain’t it.

But you wanna know the thing that frustrates me the most about the Lila salt? How she started getting salted on in the first place. Aka, her being another barrier to Adrienette.

If y’all don’t know already, I don’t like the lovesquare and even back then I didn’t like it. And when I started seeing people hate Lila for this reason, I got very annoyed. It’s the same reason as to why people hated Kagami and it’s a stupid reason (imo). At least the other reasons why she’s hated had some foundation and sense.

TLDR: Lila is a mess but she’s not a mess that’s beyond repair but the constant salting on her and her character isn’t going to do anything. (If you really wanna salt on someone, salt on the writers for making her writing so subpar)

[spnhunter4life]

So Long Chapter 9

Word Count: 3.5k

A/N: Wow! The last chapter is finally here! I have so much I want to say. First of all, thanks to everyone who has supported this story. I've put a lot of time and effort into it, and for the most part I'm very happy with how it turned out. I hope you've enjoyed it too!

Secondly, I just want you guys to know how ridiculously excited I got when I had the idea to use this gif. I've been on the edge of my seat for two weeks now waiting to use it. I don't even know why. I guess I just entertain myself. It's certainly the moment I've been waiting for anyway.

Last but not least, notes on this chapter. This might have been my favorite chapter to write. After all, it is what I've been working towards for a couple of months now. I really hope this is a satisfying ending for everyone after the weeks of buildup I've put you through. It took me several tries and rewrites to get it where I wanted, but I'm very proud of the outcome. Please let me know what you think of this chapter and the story as a whole. I would love some feedback!

Series Masterlist

Just started, it’s just started I’m having trouble believing it’s true Just started, just started Now we’ve got nothing to prove

Ages 24 and 25 August 2004

“That’s… You… I’m…” Dean trailed off, unable to complete a thought. His eyes kept darting back and forth between my eyes and his name. He took a deep, calming breath. “Really?” He questioned like he couldn’t quite believe it. Like he thought he read it wrong or I’d drawn his name on myself in sharpie or something.

 I dropped my shirt and shrugged, not entirely sure how to interpret his reaction. Was showing him a mistake after all?

“Why didn’t you say anything?” He asked.

“What, you mean like ‘Hey, Dean. As you know, I turned 16 today, and guess who’s name showed up? Yours! I hope that’s not weird since you turned 16 over a year ago and haven’t said anything to me, so even though you’re my soulmate, I must not be yours?’”

“What? You think-” Dean sat on the bed and began unlacing his left boot. I watched, confused.

“What are you doing?” I asked him. He yanked his boot off, pushed his sock down and pulled the leg of his jeans up a little.

“You thought this was one sided?” He asked incredulously. He lifted his foot onto the bed, showing me his ankle. 

My breath caught when I saw my name there. This was real, then. I really did belong to him the way he belonged to me. He didn’t have a different soulmate and my gut feeling that we were meant to be together was right, not just the product of longing for someone I could never have. 

“You really thought that there was a possibility I could ever have anyone other than you as my soulmate?”

“Well, to be honest I kind of assumed you knew. Maybe not about the soulmate part,” I clarified when he scoffed and raised his eyebrows. “But at least how much I like you.”

He was still staring at me with a mixture of shock and exasperation, so I nervously barreled on.

“I mean, it seems like everywhere we go people immediately pick up on it. And I tried to hide it, but apparently I haven’t done a very good job. So I figured you must know and were just being nice enough not to say anything about it. Besides, you never looked twice at me. What was I supposed to think?”

“Are you kidding? You’re the only one I ever looked at.”

“Tell that to all the girls you’ve been with,” I countered. “And look, I realize we weren’t together so you had the right to be with anyone you wanted. But don’t tell me you only had eyes for me.”

“It’s true,” he argued. I scoffed and he clenched his jaw. “The only reason I ever paid any attention to any of them is because I didn’t think I could have you, the one person I really wanted. And I seem to recall you going on a few dates yourself,” he answered.

“You might also remember that I only went on dates when friends set me up. I usually wasn’t thrilled about it and it never went past the first date. And that’s not even the point.”

“Then what is?”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked. “You knew for a year and a half longer than I did. Why didn’t you say something?” Dean sighed.

“You know, when we were growing up, everywhere we went people knew how I felt about you. At every school the guys would tell me how whipped I was and the girls were always asking if we were dating. It shocked me how I was apparently so obvious and yet you could still be so clueless about it. I mean, you know me better than anyone. How could you of all people not see it? Even now you look surprised to hear it.”

I realized that while I was listening to Dean talk, my eyebrows had wrinkled together. 

“Yeah, well. You were protective I guess. But that’s just who you are. It doesn’t mean anything.”

“I know you think so,” Dean said. “But everyone else saw it for what it really meant.”

“This doesn’t really answer why-”

“Because,” he interrupted. “I’ve always known I’m not good enough for you, and I didn’t want you to feel obligated to be with me because of the soulmate thing. And when you turned 16 and never said anything to me… I figured you just weren’t interested.”

“Wow,” I said. “I don’t even know where to start. Uh…” I said, sorting through all the things I wanted to say to pick the most important. “Ok. So what you’re telling me is you knew we were soulmates the whole time?”

“Yeah. Do you know how rare it is for soulmates not to match up? Honestly, I kind of think it’s impossible. I think when that happens it’s just people falling in love with someone with the right name, but it’s the wrong person. It never even crossed my mind that your soulmate could be someone else,” he said.

“Then why did you seem so shocked when you saw my tattoo?” I asked pointedly.  

“Oh, right,” Dean said, reminded of how this whole conversation had started. He grabbed the discarded med kit and gestured for me to lift my shirt.

“Dean.” I wasn’t in the mood for him to try avoiding things. We needed to talk about this.

“I’m not ignoring you. I really need to get you fixed up.” I looked at him doubtfully. “I am capable of talking at the same time,” he said.

I looked at him for a few more seconds, weighing the honesty behind the words. I decided he was just as eager to have this discussion as I was. I walked over to stand beside where he was sitting on the bed and lifted my shirt for him. 

“So?” I asked. “Why did you seem surprised?”

Dean gently rubbed his thumb over the letters of his name, his eyes soft and a small smile on his lips. I shivered at the contact. Then he got to work on cleaning and stitching my side.

“I wasn’t surprised, exactly,” he told me as he worked. “Although I suppose it was a bit of a shock, seeing it for the first time. Knowing in your mind that something must be true and actually seeing it are two different things.”

“Yeah, I guess,” I agreed, wincing at the first poke of the needle. At least this conversation was as good of a distraction as I could ask for.

 “And I just figured if we’ve gone this long without ever seeing or talking about our tattoos, you letting me see it now must mean something.”

“It’s kind of hard to hide it right now,” I pointed out.

“You could’ve kept it hidden if you wanted to. It really wouldn’t have been difficult. Which is why I knew you wanted me to see it. And I know you well enough to know you wouldn’t want me to see it if you weren’t interested.”

I asked my next question. “You honestly thought I wasn’t interested in you?”

“After you turned 16 you never treated me any different,” he shrugged. “I figured there must be a reason for that.”

“There was,” I told him through gritted teeth. I really hated getting stitches. “It was because I was already so in love with you that finding out you were my soulmate didn’t really change things for me.”

He paused his work and looked up at me. 

“You’re serious,” he said. “Really? That long?”

“Is that so hard to believe?” I smiled.

He looked away and continued stitching. He was almost done now.

“Why show me now?” He asked.

“Honestly? I was still nervous about it. If I was right about you having a different soulmate, I didn’t want things to be weird between us,” I told him.

“What changed your mind all of a sudden then?”

“What you said. About why you kissed me. It sounded so much like what I would have said if the situations were reversed that for the first time I let myself really consider the possibility that I was your soulmate too.”

I reached out with my right hand and threaded my fingers through his hair. I loved the feel of it. I loved how soft it was and that I was able to touch him like this. 

“I don’t know when it happened. I don’t even know when I realized it. I just know I can’t remember a time that I wasn’t in love with you,” I told him. It felt kind of weird to admit it out loud, but also really nice. There was no point in hiding it now anyway. Might as well get it all out.

Dean finished with my side and I dropped my shirt as he stood up, forcing my other hand to fall from his hair. He was a full head taller than me and we were standing so close that I had to crane my neck to look at him.

“I guess that’s a good thing,” he said, putting a hand on my cheek. “It makes me feel better about the fact that I can’t remember ever not being in love with you.” Then he leaned down and kissed me.

This time I was a lot more prepared. This time I wasn’t so overwhelmed that I couldn’t even enjoy it. This time I felt everything. I felt how soft his lips were. I felt the way they moved with mine. I felt when his hand moved from my cheek to my neck and his other hand found its way to my back. I felt it when he leaned a little closer and deepened the kiss.

I lifted my arms up to wrap around his neck and winced at the slight pain it caused in my left side. I was fully prepared to ignore it, too caught up in the whole experience to care, but Dean noticed and immediately started to pull away.

“It’s fine,” I told him. I used my hands around his neck to keep him close and try to reconnect our lips.

“Jenna,” he warned gently. Our foreheads were pressed together and I could feel his warm breath brush over my face. “If you want me to keep kissing you, you’re going to have to keep that arm down.”

I just tried to catch his lips again.

“I’m serious,” he said. “You being in pain is a pretty big turn off.”

“You worry too much,” I huffed. But I obediently and dramatically removed my left arm from his neck. “Happy?”

“Smartass,” he said fondly. He slowly leaned in again. Very slowly. My heart raced in anticipation. Just before his lips touched mine, he pulled back.

“Dean,” I whined. He smiled and finally kissed me. 

He moved the hand that had been around my neck to join the other at my back. I moved my left arm to his bicep, loving the strength I could feel there. We found a rhythm quickly, our mouths moving in sync. It was so easy to lose myself in him. In his kiss, in his touch, in the warmth of his body. I would gladly stay here forever.

The kiss was starting to get a little more heated, tongues brushing and Dean lightly nipping at my lower lip once, when his phone rang. He pulled back just the slightest bit, our lips nearly touching. He hesitated for a second, deciding whether or not to answer the phone I guessed. He gave me one last, quick kiss before letting go of me and pulling his phone out of his pocket. He flipped it open and briefly glanced at the screen before answering.

“Hey, Bobby,” he greeted.

Disappointed about the interruption and slightly out of breath, I sat on the bed, leaning against the wall and listening to Dean’s side of the conversation. He filled Bobby in on everything that had happened. Well. Not everything. But everything regarding finishing the case.

“Alright, Bobby. Yeah, we’ll stop by next time we’re headed your way,” Dean said before hanging up the phone. He sat beside me on the bed. “Well that was good timing,” he grumbled.

“You didn’t have to answer it,” I pointed out. I decided it was probably a good thing we’d been interrupted anyway. We still had a lot to talk about.

“What if someone was dying?” He asked, half joking, half serious. 

“Then they should have called an ambulance. You’re not exactly a doctor,” I said.

“Hey, I managed to stitch you up just fine.” 

“That wasn’t life or death. You’re good for patching up, but you can’t do everything, Superman.”

“Next time I’ll just let it ring, then.” He held his arm up for me. I accepted the invitation and leaned into his side. His arm settled around me and I let out a content sigh.

“You know it’s been almost a decade since the last time we did this,” I said.

“Did what?” Dean was resting his chin on top of my head. My ear was pressed against his chest and I could feel its slight vibration when he spoke.

“Sat together like this.” I thought back to those days I’d been sick and how much I’d enjoyed being so close to him. Then I remembered what he said about that time during the dumb favorite memory game. “Did you mean what you said? At the hotel?” I turned my face up to look at him.

“Which part?” He asked, looking back at me. I gently elbowed him in the side. He knew what I was asking about.

“Ow!” He protested despite the fact that I definitely hadn’t hurt him. I gave him a look and he chuckled.

“I meant it. I think about it a lot. How good it felt to be able to hold you like that. Like this,” he said, briefly squeezing his arm tighter around me for emphasis. “How right it felt to have you in my arms. It’s the best thing I’ve ever felt. Well,” he smiled mischievously, “it was. I’ve recently come to the conclusion that kissing you is even better.”

“I won’t disagree with that,” I grinned. My neck was getting tired from the angle I was turned at to see Dean, so I looked away and rested my head back against his chest. I reverted back to an old habit, absentmindedly twisting the bracelet on my wrist as I thought through everything.

“What are you thinking?” Dean asked.

 “I’m having a hard time believing this is real. I’m kind of still wrapping my head around that first kiss. Not to mention everything else,” I admitted.

“You know, the way you froze up at the hotel when I kissed you… I thought I might have just made the biggest mistake of my life. I was worried you were pissed at me for crossing that line and that you might want to leave when we finished the hunt,” he told me.

“More like it happened so quickly and took me so much by surprise that my brain stopped working.”

“Freezing up isn’t really a quality you want in a hunting partner. Maybe I should ditch you,” he teased.

“Maybe you should,” I agreed. “But good luck explaining to Bobby how you left me in Idaho to fend for myself. With an injury.”

“Mm, good point. Guess that means I’m stuck with you.”

“Guess so,” I smiled.

We talked for a couple of hours. Up until our stomachs were grumbling and we couldn’t ignore the need for food anymore. We went out to eat and when we got back we curled up together again and stayed up well into the night, mostly talking, but trading a few kisses as well. When I fell asleep that night, I knew I could never be happier than I was at that moment. I finally had everything I’d ever wanted, and it was even better than I could have imagined.

~~~~~

A couple days later we drove out to Bobby’s house. We decided to make a trip out there to see him like Dean had promised before we started looking for a new case. We wanted a few days off to just enjoy our new relationship before we got back into things and we only planned to stay at Bobby’s for the day.

We made it to his house just after noon. The old hunter was happy to see us of course. He hugged us both and then invited us in. 

“I’m afraid I don’t have much around for food. I’ve been meaning to make a run to the store,” he said apologetically.

“No problem,” I said, holding up a grocery bag. “We came prepared.” 

Bobby wasn’t exactly known for having a well stocked fridge. We knew it was possible he wouldn’t have much around, and we didn’t want to drop in without warning and just expect him to feed us.

“Of course you did. I guess I should expect that from you by now, shouldn’t I?” Bobby said to me. 

“C’mon Bobby,” I teased as I headed for the kitchen. “You live in the midwest. You know you can’t just show up to someone’s house at meal time without bringing food.”

“Well, c’mon now,” Bobby said, shooing me out of the way. “You’re the guest and you brought the food. The least I can do is get it ready.”

He unpacked the buns, hamburger, sloppy joe sauce, macaroni salad, and potato chips we’d stopped to buy on our way into town. The three of us chatted while Bobby made the hamburger, just catching up on things since the last time we saw each other. 

Over lunch Dean and I told Bobby about some of the more interesting cases we’d been on recently. Bobby told us about the research he was doing for another hunter and about how some guy named Rufus was harassing him to help him on a hunt.

We finished lunch and were heading out to the porch to enjoy some beers when Bobby’s phone rang. 

“You two go on and I’ll join you when I’m done,” Bobby instructed. 

Dean carried the cooler out and I opened the screen door for him. Bobby had left the main door open to let in some fresh air. It was a beautiful day. The temperature was sitting in the mid 60s, the sun was shining and there was nothing more than a light breeze occasionally drifting through the air. 

Dean and I sat together on the rickety old porch swing, leaving the chair for Bobby. Dean put his arm around my shoulder and I leaned into his side, enjoying the weather and the gentle rocking of the swing.

“Do you remember the summer our dads dropped us off here for a month?” Dean asked after a couple minutes of peaceful quiet.

“Yeah. Sam was obsessed with magic and spent most of his time trying to learn new tricks,” I recalled. “And you basically spent the whole month elbows deep in whatever car you could get your hands on.”

“And you,” he said accusingly, “did not make it easy for me to concentrate.”

“What?” I asked, pulling away from his side so I could look at him. “What did I do?”

“Nothing in particular. You didn’t have to. It was just the way you would sit close by and watch me work while you sang along to the radio. Or I’d look up and see you sitting right here,” he said, patting the swing, “reading a book. It didn’t matter what you were doing. I just remember thinking how beautiful and distracting you were.”

I blushed a little at the words and wondered how long it would take for that to stop.

“And all I really wanted to do,” he said, pressing his forehead to mine. “Was this.”

He leaned in and caught my lips in a sweet kiss. I smiled into it.

“Well it’s about damn time,” Bobby drawled from the doorway. Dean and I jerked apart, startled by his sudden appearance. “A man could grow old and die waiting for you two idjits to get it together,” he said as he opened the screen door and stepped outside. His voice was as gruff as usual, but there was a twinkle in his eye and a small smile on his mouth.

“Wait, you knew?” I asked. My heart was still racing.

“‘Course I did. I don’t think there’s anybody that’s seen the two of you together and doesn’t know.”

I wanted to object, but then I thought back on all the times people had picked up on my feelings for Dean. And how he had apparently experienced the same thing. 

“So I guess we were just the last ones to know,” Dean said a little frustratedly.

“Looks like it,” Bobby smiled. “Congratulations you two. I’m happy for you,” he said.

“Thanks Bobby,” I answered.

He reached into the cooler and pulled out three beers, popping the caps off and handing us each one.

“Here’s to the happy couple,” Bobby said, clinking his bottle against both of ours.

I smiled and took a sip along with the two men.

Here’s to a long and happy life with the man I’m lucky enough to call my soulmate, I thought.

Epilogue

[merriammusicinc]

Digital Pianos | The Ultimate Digital Piano Buying Guide | Yamaha, Roland, Kawai, Casio & More

Pianos, both digital and acoustic, come in many shapes, sizes, prices, and brands, while also being extremely versatile instruments. They can be played solo, as a part of a band, or in front of an orchestra. With a piano, you can create rhythm, harmony, and melody all at once. It's one of the reasons it often has the nickname King of instruments.

It’s fair to say that the crop of Digital Pianos currently available on the market is consistently achieving levels that would have been totally unthinkable a mere decade ago. Never before has the consumer had so many excellent, highly realistic options available at a variety of price points.

While no one would argue this isn’t a great thing for those well-versed in digital pianos and those simply looking to get in for the first, knowing where to start can be quite intimidating and even off-putting.

In today’s video and article, we’re going to be serving you with a general digital piano keyboard buying guide, providing you with the lay of the land in terms of what’s available, and what kind of price ranges we’re looking at.

For the purposes of this article and video, we’ll be focusing on 88-key weighted action digital pianos.

Overview

When it comes to shopping for a piano, shoppers are going to encounter a large industry that is high on romance, but when it comes to actually drilling down and understanding what certain specs actually mean and what the focus should be on, confusion can ensue.

To help in filling in that gap, we've laid out a number of various categories and price ranges that you are likely to encounter once you’ve started your shopping. This should help in narrowing down your search, and help you zero in on a particular area.

Let’s jump right into our first category.

Portable Digital Pianos & Beginner Digital Pianos

This is by far one of the most popular parts of the digital piano market, with really high volumes of these instruments being sold worldwide every year. And it makes sense - for folks who are just starting out, or for parents looking for a practice instrument for their child who just started piano lessons, this category represents a relatively low financial risk for a potentially big reward.

Price Range

The pianos available in this category will generally run from about $500-$1,500 USD. These entry-level 88-key portable keyboards are affordable and a heck of a lot better than they used to be only several years ago, especially with regards to the authenticity of the weighted keys.

For families that don't have a lot of experience with musical instruments, particularly within homes, entry-level digital pianos serve a great purpose. Now, you'll often hear from pianists who have learned on acoustic pianos that a digital piano and certainly a basic digital piano just simply can't compare to a traditional one.

And while in the long-term this is still the case and most people studying classical music would agree with this, for the vast majority, entry-level digitals are a perfectly fine way to test somebody's appetite for piano lessons and begin to develop basic technique and musical understanding.

Why Buy a Piano From this Category?

All of the major manufacturers offer products in this category, including Kawai, Yamaha, Casio, Roland, Korg, and Alesis. Manufacturing quality has dramatically increased in this category over the last several years, largely driven by the Casio Privia PX series and Casio CDP series along with Yamaha's success with their Yamaha P-45 and Yamaha P-125. Both Roland and Kawai have followed suit with strong contenders of their own, namely the Roland FP-10 and Roland FP-30 digital piano, as well as Kawai's ES110 and ES520.

All in all, pianos in this category are designed for normal household use or very light professional use the most obvious limitations are the power and quality of the onboard speakers, tone quality, lighter construction, and lack of connectivity beyond basics like MIDI and headphone jacks. As such, these instruments have a shorter lifespan than more expensive options.

How Long Will a Piano From this Category Last?

Expect a piano from this category to serve a starter player through their first two to three years' worth of instruction before most teachers are probably going to recommend an upgrade to a more advanced digital piano or an acoustic piano to ensure the player can keep progressing.

Arranger Keyboard Options

There are also some great value arranger keyboards available at this price point such as the Yamaha DGX-660, which offers tons of onboard features with otherwise entry-level tone and touch. Some even allow you to forgo the power adapter and use battery power instead., such as the Casio PX-S1000 digital keyboard.

Summary

To summarize; on the positive side, the instruments in this category are relatively low cost, lightweight, portable, and make for a really great way to test the waters for whoever in your household is thinking about piano. On the negative side, these pianos are not suitable for advanced instruction or classical repertoire, they have a slightly shorter lifespan as well as limited resale value in most markets.

Home Digital Pianos

Our next category of digital pianos is referred to as home digital pianos or console digital pianos. The typical buyer for a piano from this category tends to be an adult or newer piano student with parents looking for more of a three to five-year solution as opposed to a shorter-term entry-level option.

Price Range

Prices in this category tend to range from about $1,500-$3,000 USD, which is still less expensive than a new Japanese acoustic upright piano.

If the decision has been made that piano lessons are going to be a fixture in your family's life and the parents are mostly driving the bus on this one, a home digital piano probably makes more sense to jump into than a portable digital piano. This is enough time to get through the basics of instruction, and will let you evaluate whether your child needs a quality longer-term instrument, all while still managing to save several thousands of dollars off the top.

These also make excellent instruments for adult learners who are looking for a hobbyist instrument that strikes the right balance between quality and price.

Why Buy a Piano From this Category?

The advantage of these pianos is that they have a longer shelf life and are more musically capable compared with the portable digitals from the first category. We typically recommend families that go down this path to upgrade to an upright or grand piano at the point that they sense piano lessons will probably be a 10-year thing to maximize on trade-in value.

Many dealers offer high trade-in values of digital pianos towards an acoustic piano within the first few years of ownership, to the point that owning a piano in this category ends up costing very little if an upgrade is in the cards.

These instruments don't focus on high-quality cabinetry, but they can still sit in a living room and look pretty stylish. At the upper end of this category, can also access some of the better key sensors, hammer action keyboards, and tone generators in the industry. In other words, some of the best internal core features, but without the bells and whistles or high-end cabinetry of the premium tier models.

Examples of the lower end of this category would be the Yamaha Arius YDP and Clavinova series or Roland RP102, while some examples of the top of this class would include the Roland DP603 or Kawai CA79.

How Long Will a Piano From this Category Last?

Pianos from this category tend to be solid options for the average student for about 3 to 5 years or so. This means the average beginner will be able to progress through about 3 to 5 years of piano lessons with an instrument from this category.

Summary

To summarize; the pros of this category include the fact that these instruments still cost less than an acoustic piano, have great onboard sound, have lots of connectivity options (such as Bluetooth), and actually look like a proper piece of furniture. The cons include the fact that they still have a shorter lifespan than an acoustic piano, are still going to be musically limiting to an advanced player, and you lose out on the portability of the first category.

High-End & Hybrid Digital Pianos

The third digital category we're going to look at is the high-end digital piano or hybrid digital piano category. Typical buyers in this category tend to be experienced players who perhaps have space constraints, want certain modern technological features, or simply somebody who wants a fantastic instrument with maximum sound management and minimal maintenance requirements.

Price Range

The price range for this category starts at around $3,000 and can run north of $20,000. Acoustic pianos are not always the ultimate solution for every player, even when the budget is not an issue. Sometimes the appeal of zero maintenance, playing with headphones, or just a smaller physical footprint are all more important than the purity of the tone or touch that you get with a real piano. Everything has to be balanced out.

Why Buy a Piano From this Category?

The top digital pianos are getting close to authentically mimicking both the piano sound with sophisticated sound engines and the touch of an acoustic instrument with very satisfying results. To serve this growing segment of buyers, a quickly evolving class of digital pianos known as hybrid pianos is emerging.

Hybrid pianos fuse both acoustic and digital piano elements, resulting in instruments that can offer certain consumers the best of both worlds. Price-wise, these instruments aren’t actually going to cost any less than an entry-level or mid-range acoustic piano and can be seen rather as an alternative option as opposed to a compromise.

Here are some reasons why more and more buyers are considering this direction. First of all, wooden keys. Even though springs and good geometric design can simulate the static weight of a piano key, plastic-based actions can’t fully simulate the dynamic weight of a key.

Most premium digitals and hybrids use some type of wood key technology to increase that authentic dynamic touch of the piano to make it feel more like a real piano.

Another big reason is the presence of high-end speakers and amplifiers. Digital pianos have very limited volume ranges. Even at maximum volume, most digital pianos can't compete with the full volume of an acoustic piano, which is one of the reasons it's difficult to learn on a digital and then perform on an acoustic.

Premium digital and hybrid pianos are starting to close this gap and now deliver a similar volume range to that of a smaller upright piano.

Of course, we can’t discount the appeal that a premium cabinet will have to some folks. The majority of the instruments in this category are available in the same high polished polyester finishes that you’ll find with acoustic pianos.

Lastly, the extensive selection of high-quality onboard sounds, from electric pianos to organs to strings and beyond, plus the ability to stream music wirelessly through the instrument’s premium features are all compelling reasons for some people to go with a high-end digital piano instead of an acoustic piano.

How Long Will a Piano From this Category Last?

Pianos in this category are built as a legitimate alternative to an acoustic piano, so one, in theory, could probably do the bulk of their studies on a piano from this category.

Summary

To summarize; on the plus side, we've got a wide range of cabinet options, high-quality construction that should last 10 to 15 years (not to mention great warranty coverage), plus the most authentic tone and touch currently available. On the negative side, the price is very similar to an acoustic piano without the same resale potential, and given the nature of technology, currently advanced technological features will one day be obsolete.

Professional Portable Digital Pianos

Next up we have a bit of a niche category - professional portable digital pianos. It’s typically semi-professional players who need an instrument for performance, rehearsal or recording situations who shop within this category. College university students will typically explore options here if they require portability and accessibility without compromising quality, as well as families that need a second instrument if they have multiple pianists in the household.

Price Range

Pianos in this category will generally range from $1,000 to $2,500 USD. Professional portable digital pianos offer a more compact, flexible approach as opposed to home digitals, while generally occupying about the same price range.

Why Buy a Piano From this Category?

We don't see as many first-time family buyers going down this road for several reasons. For example, these instruments are less physically sturdy, and they don’t look as nice in a living room.

The typical features for this category include the option to add a furniture-type wooden stand and pedals (as opposed to a single damper or sustain pedal) if there will be periods where your piano is remaining stationary, but of course, you have the option of going with a collapsible keyboard stand if you are on the go.

You’ll typically find more connectivity options here and many of these pianos also include basic rhythm accompaniments, basic recording capability, and built-in music stands. Dollar for dollar, this category will usually deliver a slightly better action and sound processor for about the same price as their home digital counterparts, with the compromise coming on speaker size and aesthetics.

How Long Will a Piano From this Category Last?

An instrument from this category will serve the average piano student for about 4-7 years through lessons before an upgrade would need to be considered.

Summary

The pros for this category include the fact that many options represent a cost-effective way to get a versatile, great-quality piano that works well with headphones and amps while taking up minimal space. The cons include the fact that these options are not great for larger spaces, the speakers tend to be smaller than their stationary counterparts and they simply lack the same aesthetic appeal.

Professional Stage Pianos

Our final category for this piece is the professional digital stage piano. The typical buyer for these instruments is going to be professional players who need a gigging or studio instrument, as well as audiophile enthusiasts.

Price Range

These pianos tend to start around $2,000 and can go up to $5,000 or more. You can think of these as the souped-up laptops of the piano industry. Most of the major manufacturers are represented, and there are also companies that specialize in this area such as Nord.

Why Buy a Piano From this Category?

They tend to be somewhat compact and are loaded with features that are built for specific professional uses like stage performance or studio recording. In most cases, speakers aren’t present in an attempt to keep the weight down so these are going to need to be operated with an amp, PA speakers, or headphones.

Popular options in this category are the Yamaha CP88, as well as the Roland RD-2000.

For most end-users, this category isn't really that relevant. There’s a steep learning curve and fairly sophisticated level of understanding of synthesizer concepts required to really use these instruments that goes way beyond what most amateur or even classical and hobbyist players have. On the other hand, there is of course enough of a subset of consumers purchasing instruments from this category to justify its existence.

How Long Will a Piano From this Category Last?

A piano from this category wouldn’t really make a ton of sense for a beginner looking to take piano lessons, but in theory, a piano from here would probably serve the average student for about 4-7 years.

Summary

Positives for this category include the fact these instruments generally have the most leading-edge technology in the whole industry presented in a wide variety of formats and price ranges and are entirely targeted toward pro users. Negatives are the steep learning curves and hyper specificity of the instruments.

Closing Thoughts

Thanks for sticking with us here at Merriam Music through this detailed article. Our hope is that this piece should provide some clarity and help you when searching on Amazon and other online retailers.

Depending on your own unique situation, there will likely be a category that stands out as the right fit for you. Once you’ve got the category sorted, it’s pretty fun to narrow things down from there.

Shop more pianos here

The post Digital Pianos | The Ultimate Digital Piano Buying Guide | Yamaha, Roland, Kawai, Casio & More first appeared on Merriam Pianos

2359 Bristol Cir #200, Oakville, ON L6H 6P8

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(905) 829–2020

[arvinsescape]

Never too late.

A/N: I hope you enjoy!! I have not proofread this so i apologise in advance!! 💕💕

Summary: Tom messed up a long time ago but can he fix it?

Warnings: Swearing.

W/C: 4.2K.

When Isabelle had asked you to be her maid of honour you took the role immediately, wanting to be there for your best friend. It wasn’t until a few days later that you realised who you may have to interact with throughout the planning and on the day. You were currently getting coffee with Isabelle when the question slipped from your mouth, you hadn’t meant to spoil the atmosphere as you discussed flower arrangements.

“So, um, who did Haz pick as best man?” The question came out before you could stop it. Isabelle carefully placed her coffee down and looked at you with a sad smile.

“I was gonna tell you Y/N/N, I’m sorry.” She said, confirming that it was indeed the man you’d hoped it wasn’t.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked.” You apologised, guilt settling in your stomach as she reached over and took your hand in hers.

“No, I should have said. I just, well I don’t know, it’s been what? Three years? I thought you’d have gotten over it, no offence.”

“We never had closure, we just argued and that was it. We haven’t spoken since.” You shrugged and Isabelle smiled sadly again.

“Did you want it? Closure?”

“Not at first but then every time I saw him afterwards just brought it all back up, brought up how much I loved him and how much it hurt when we ended things.” You said as you bit your lip, sadness now settling in your chest. It wasn’t often you spoke about Tom, you couldn’t, every time it would make you cry and you could never explain why.

“Y/N?” Isabelle asked quietly and you looked at her, telling her to continue. “Are you? Do you still have feelings for him?” She asked and you shrugged before finishing your now luke warm beverage.

“I don’t think so, like you say it’s been three years. I’ve always put it down to not getting closure.”

“Maybe talk to him? This would be a good opportunity, you’re going to have to see each other a lot.” She suggested and you shook your head.

“No, after the way we left things, I’m not sure that’d be a good idea. I’m not doing anything to ruin your big day, I’ll be civil, I promise.”

**

You were meeting Haz and Isabelle for a meal to discuss how they wanted the day to go, making your way into the restaurant. You knew he’d be there and you were already prepared for your mind to throw you back to that night but of course all the preparation meant nothing when your eyes fell on him. Your heart twisting as you swallowed thickly and made your way to the table, doing your best to stay composed and civil.

You’d seen Tom several times after the break up, you ran in the same circles, same friends and your respective best friends were getting married. You’d seen him but always managed to avoid him, this time you couldn’t. You exchanged pleasantries and sat down, zoning out as your mind wandered back to that night.

“You’re such a fucking dick Tom.” You huffed as you shut the door to your flat. Tom making his way into the living room.

“I’m here aren’t I?” He fired back, irritated, you’d already argued over text.

“After having to be reminded yeah.” You said and he rounded on you, eyes holding anger towards you.

“I forgot okay? I’m a human being. It’s perfectly human to forget things.” He snapped back. You wish he hadn’t come over now, wish you hadn’t have reminded him of your movie night you’d planned.

“This is the third date you’ve forgotten.” You pointed out and he huffed as he rolled his eyes.

“I’m busy, you know that.”

“So am I and I still turn up to things we’ve planned. Believe it or not Tom, I actually remember I’m in a relationship.” You said as you stormed past him and into your living room.

“Can you just drop it? I’m tired and I’ve had a long day, I’m here now.” He said following after you.

“Sure. I’ll drop it, I’ll just bring it up next time yeah?” You shouted and his nostrils flared as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“Stop being so difficult.”

“Difficult? Me? You’re the one who’s seemingly unavailable all the fucking time.”

“That’s not true. I make time for you.” Tom snapped out as he ran a hand through his hair.

“Bullshit. You used to, I’ll give you that but recently? It’s like you’d rather be anywhere else but here.” It was true that in the last month you’d hardly seen him.

“Maybe I do want to be elsewhere.” He shouted and your stomach dropped a little, it was different hearing it confirmed.

“What?” You asked a slight sadness to your voice but he was too angry to notice.

“You heard. You’re so needy and fucking irritating at the minute. It doesn’t matter what I do, you start a fight anyway.” He ranted and your heart stopped. Needy? Irritating?

“Well you’re hardly Mr fucking perfect.”

“You’re right I’m not. I’m fucking human. I know you want me to be this man who does nothing but put you first all the goddam time but that’s not always how situations work Y/N. I have a life outside of this relationship.”

“Yeah I get that, I do. But fuck Tom, I ask for one night of your time and you forget. Or is that even true? Is that you forgot or you just can’t be bothered?”

“You’re ridiculous. You know what? I don’t know if I can do this anymore?” What?

“What?”

“This, us. All we do is fight, I can’t do a single fucking thing that makes you happy. God damn Y/N, last week you got angry with me because I arrived a few hours later than I was supposed to. I would’ve understood had it not been for the fact that I got held up, my flight got delayed.”

“All you had to do was text, that’s all I wanted.” You said, sadness settling in your chest whereas Tom just seemed angry at the situation.

“I did! That’s why I was so fucking pissed off, it’s not my fault you never received it. What else could I have done?”

“Maybe you’re right.” You said.

“What?” Tom snapped out and you let your eyes brim with tears.

“Get out Tom.” You said.

“So I come over to get kicked straight back out, well fan fucking tastic.” He snapped with another roll of his eyes.

“No, I mean get out and don’t come back.” You said and Tom’s face fell.

“Wait, Y/N/N, are you,”

“Yeah,” you interrupted. “This isn’t working anymore, you’re right. Now can you please just leave?” You snapped as you looked at him, he looked at you hesitantly as if he was about to say something but he never did. He composed himself as huffed as he left with a slam of your flat door.

You’d always wondered what he was going to say, you knew he was going to. Maybe that’s why you found it so hard when you saw him, that wonder about what he would have said, would it have changed anything? Was he going to say something nasty, something to try and fix it? You never contacted one another afterwards, returning each other’s belongings through Isabelle and Harrison.

“Y/N/N?” Harrison asked as he waved his hand in front of your face, pulling you from your thoughts as you looked at him. “You okay?”

“Yeah, sorry. Long day.” You said, you could feel Tom’s eyes on you but couldn’t bring yourself to look at him.

“So, wedding guests.” Haz continued as he clapped his hands together. “You guys are gonna spend most of the day together.” He said as he gestured between you and Tom.

“If that’s okay?” Isabelle added as she looked at you with concern.

“Of course, it’s your wedding day.” You smiled as you tried to ignore the pounding in your head at the thought of having to spend an entire day interacting with the man across from you.

“Brilliant.” Harrison said, he knew you and Tom had ended on bad terms but probably assumed you’d both gotten over it. You wondered deep down if you had.

The dinner flew by and you couldn’t have rushed off to your house soon enough. Wanting to leave behind the awkward tension between you and Tom, maybe this was going to be harder than you first thought.

**

It was the day of the wedding and excitement was bubbling around the church. You were all made up in your bridesmaid dress, hair pulled up into an intricate style as you watched Isabelle pull on her wedding dress.

“You look beautiful.” You gasped as you handed her the bouquet of flowers. “If Haz doesn’t cry I think I might snatch you up for myself.” You joked and Isabelle smiled shyly. Her hair was pulled up into a bun, pins with diamonds twinkling under the lights, beautiful white wedding dress that fell elegantly around the floor.

“I’m nervous.” She admitted as she squeezed your hand.

“Don’t be. Harrison loves you, you’re gonna be so happy.” You said as you squeezed her hands back. A knock pulling you from your moment. It wasn’t long before Isabelle’s dad made an appearance, stopping as he saw his daughter.

“You look, oh my goodness, you look beautiful.” He said in awe as he embraced her, wiping at his eyes that were now full of tears.

“Thank you dad.”

“That boy has no idea how lucky he is.”

You followed her to the alter, her hand firmly grasping her father’s forearm as they linked arms. You were behind her as you made your way up the aisle, you couldn’t stop your eyes drifting to Tom and you watched as his widened, he was already looking at you. Harrison and Isabelle had made the decision to have the dress rehearsal but keep everyone’s attire a secret for the day, Tom hadn’t seen you in your bridesmaid dress.

The ceremony was beautiful, Harrison cried, well almost everyone cried as they watched the loving couple say their ‘I do’s’ and share their first kiss as a married couple. They made their way down the alter and you let out a shaky breath as Tom approached you, offering his arm out for you to take. You looped your arm through his as you plastered possibly the fakest smile you’d ever given.

“You look beautiful.” You heard Tom’s voice and you looked at him as you continued to follow Harrison and Isabelle. All bridesmaids now having been paired up with another of the groomsmen. Of course you and Tom had to pair up being in the positions you were.

“Thank you.” You said as you bit your lip and he gave you a small smile. You’d always been able to read Tom, always had a connection with him that was unexplainable. He seemed almost sad. He wasn’t giving off his usual vibe, not that anyone else would notice, he really is a good actor, just not good enough to fool you.

The lunch had gone really well, no hiccups, everything ran smoothly. The décor looked amazing, blue and white flowers decorating the table in beautiful glass vases in the middle of each table. You were sat next to Tom, making conversation with Tuwaine who was placed at your other side. The room falling into silence as the speeches started. Harrison’s was beautiful, Isabelle’s father’s just as much and now it was Tom’s turn. You wiped at your eye, the speeches having been so beautiful they’d brought tears to your eyes.

“I’m very happy to be here today and share this happy couples day with all of you. I am beyond grateful that you asked me to be such a huge part of it Harrison, being your best man has been and always will be an honour.” Tom started and Harrison smiled up at him.

“You just have to promise I’ll be your best man.” Harrison teased and Tom breathed out a laugh.

“Done. Your wife looks incredible I want to add, such a beautiful couple. I’ve known Harrison since we were kids and I let me tell you, I have an incredible amount of embarrassing stories involving this young man. Like the time he got so excited when we went bowling that he fell onto the alley, got a strike but of course it didn’t count. Or the time he got so angry playing golf that he threw a club at the floor and almost knocked himself out when it bounced back up.” Tom said which pulled a laugh from the room.

It did a strange thing to you, you were there that day he almost hit himself on the golf course, god knows how he’d done it. The memory of you and Tom laughing as Tom had his arms locked around your waist, you shook your head from the thoughts.

“I could go on but I’ll save his dignity.” Tom teased as Harrison flipped him off, Tom read the paper in his hands before stuffing it back into his pocket, you assumed he’d almost finished.

“I’ve always been jealous of Harrison in a way. He found something good and he kept hold of it, he fought for it and made sure he kept it. These guys have been through some tough times, they truly have and they’ve both seen the other side of it. Harrison has always been better than me when it comes to admitting fault, taking responsibility for his actions, something I’ve never been good at. Watching these two and how in love they are with each other has made me really think about myself as a person and all the stupid things I’ve done in life, the things I’ve lost through my own stubbornness. You really have taught me a lot about love and soulmates, I’m just glad you didn’t make the same mistake I did.” Tom said and you found yourself staring at him, as if he was the only person in the room.

Your eyes met Isabelle’s and she looked just as blown away as you did, Harrison looking up at his best friend with a knowing look. Tuwaine leant over and placed a handkerchief in your hand.

“Here, you’re gonna smudge your makeup.” He said and it only just occurred to you that you were crying, more than you had at any of the other speeches. Was he talking about you? You doubted it, he’s had plenty of girlfriends in the three years since you’d split. You only half listened as Tom finished his speech as he sat back down next to you, the room applauding him as they fell into their own conversations.

“That was,” you said as you cleared your throat. “That was really beautiful Tom.”

“Thank you.”

**

The wedding party continued on, it was now the evening do, the night drawing closer to the first dance, the last interaction you had to have with Tom and you felt nervous. The tension between the two of you thick after his speech, you weren’t sure if he felt it too and you had got it al wrong. Maybe you just wished he was talking about you, he clearly was referring to someone.

Tom took your hand in his as you joined the married couple in the first dance. Couples slowly joining as Tom placed his hands on your waist and you placed yours on his shoulders. To say you weren’t an actor you were doing well at hiding your feelings.

“You really do look beautiful.” Tom said, eyes finding yours.

“Thank you. You’re speech really was beautiful.” You always were one to give credit where it was due. He shrugged.

“Thanks, I read it online somewhere, I’m no good at writing that soppy shit.” He laughed and you breathed out a laugh. Oh.

It wasn’t long before you finished, Tom leaving you instantly and you missed being in his arms instantly. He disappeared most of the night, you only catching glimpses of him every so often.

“Y/N, you look beautiful.” Sam said as he joined you on the dancefloor.

“Thanks Sam.” You’d not seen him in a long time.

“How’d you like Tom’s speech?” He asked and you furrowed your brows, why was he asking you that?

“It was beautiful.” You admitted and Sam smiled.

“Yeah, I helped him write that.” He admitted. What?

“He said he got help online.” You said utterly confused.

“That’s bullshit.” Sam laughed. “I helped him write that whole thing. That part about being jealous of Harrison? Not what I helped him write, that was completely off script.” Sam said and you stopped your dancing as you looked at him.

“What?”

“Oh come on, that was completely pulled from his heart. You know Tom, that was completely unscripted.”

“Yeah, but he’s had a lot of girlfriends, why would I care?” You said and Sam burst into a fit of laughter at that.

“I thought you knew?” Sam said and you looked at him seriously.

“Knew what?”

“About Tom? About what happened on the stag do?” He said matching your seriousness.

“No?” You fished and Sam huffed.

“He was hammered okay. But he got all emotional and said some stuff about you.” Sam admitted and your furrow deepened.

“What did he say?”

“He regrets the way things ended. Regrets letting you go, said he wished he’d have stayed, told you how much you meant to him. Fought for you. Y/N, he was thinking about asking you to marry him.” Sam continued and your eyes blew wide at that.

“We were twenty-two Sam.” You said and he shrugged.

“We said that but he said it was irrelevant, he knew he’d found his person in you. He said he doesn’t think he’ll ever love anyone like he loved you, he’s tried.” Sam informed you. “I honestly thought someone had told you.” He said as he took in your shocked state.

“No.” You squeaked out.

“Y/N, he’s my brother and trust me, he’s an idiot at the best of times. But I know he loves you, it shocked all of us when he turned into an emotional mess over a relationship that ended three years ago. I think seeing you and the whole wedding put a lot into perspective for him.”

“But why now?” You asked and Sam looked at you seriously.

“Y/N, I think he realises this could have been your wedding. You were both young and stubborn and I stand by that fact but if things had turned out differently. If he’d stayed that night this could have been you and I think he’s realised that.” Sam said as he brought a hand to your cheek and wiped your tears out of your eyes. “Go find him. Talk to him.” He said and you realised you had to, after that revelation you had to. You owed it to the both of you.

“Thanks Sam.”

**

Half an hour it took you to find him, half an hour of running around looking for him until you eventually found the curly haired boy. He was on the roof, sat on the edge, looking out over the grounds of the manor house Harrison had booked for the wedding night. You had a room booked along with most of the guests.

Your heart was pounding as you let the door shut and your palms felt sweaty but your heart felt lifted at Sam’s revelation.

“I’m not so sure the best man is supposed to disappear.” You said and Tom snapped his head to look at you as you approached. Holding out a hand for you to take as you very carefully placed yourself next to him. The view was breathtaking, he’d always found comfort in the countryside, a complete juxtaposition to his life in cities.

“Probably not but I don’t think Haz will notice. I am planning on going back, just needed a breather.”

“Are you okay?” You asked seriously, you noted his slightly dampened mood all day.

“I never could get past you could I?” He asked with a breathy laugh.

“Nope.” You laughed in return and he smiled at you.

“Just thinking.” He admitted and you hummed.

“I spoke to Sam.” You said after a while and Tom sighed as his ran a hand through his hair.

“Figured it’d be him that told you. How much did he tell you?” Tom asked and you looked at him, admiring how beautiful he was and he really was, always had been.

“Everything, well I assume so. Is it true?” You asked and Tom looked back at you.

“Which part?”

“About the proposal thing?”

“Yeah.” He admitted and you furrowed your brows.

“Why’d you never come back? Say something?” You asked and Tom sighed.

“Because I was a fucking stupid child that’s why. Completely fucked up my chances with you.” Tom said and you nodded slightly in agreement with him, you weren’t blameless.

“Maybe not completely.” You said and Tom’s eyes widened.

“You mean?”

“I don’t think I ever really stopped loving you. I always thought it was closure I needed and then Sam said wat he said and I realised it was everything I wanted to hear. I tried to find the same connection with other men but I just couldn’t and I wondered if it was because I wanted closure with you. It took me until today to realise that deep down it was actually just you I wanted.” You said as a tear slipped from Tom’s eye and you were quick to catch it.

“I’ve never found that connection either. God, fuck, I’ve never loved anyone like I love you.” He said your heart soared.

“Still?” You asked and he nodded. “Me too.” You admitted and he smiled.

“I don’t deserve you.”

“You do. We deserve to be happy in life Tom and you made me so happy. The happiest I’d ever been.” You said. “I was difficult because I was so scared, scared that you’d leave me, find someone else. You got this whole knew life, you were Spiderman, meeting models, all these women I couldn’t compete with.”

“You were never in competition. It doesn’t matter how many other women I met, they were never you, they could never be you. They didn’t understand me like you did. Y/N, there was and is never gonna be anyone else like you.” You were both crying now, happiness surrounding you.

“What were you gonna say? That night?” You needed to know.

“I was about to get on my knees and fucking beg you to let me stay. My stubbornness got in the way, I thought you could do better, have someone who was there for you all the time. Someone who didn’t forget dates and keep you waiting.” He admitted before he continued. “But if I ever got a do over in life that’s where I’d go, I’d get on my knees and beg you to let me stay, let me keep you.”

“Oh Tom.” You sighed out and he smiled shyly as you leant your forehead against his.

“I should have tried, should have fought for you but I was an idiot. I didn’t realise how much so until it was too late.”

“It’s never too late Tom.”

“I hope not because I want you Y/N, I want you back.”

“Kiss me.” You practically begged and he complied, his lips finding your own. His arms slipped around your waist as he pulled you flush against him. Your hands finding his hair as you threaded your fingers though it. The kiss was sweet but fiery, a kiss of two lovers reuniting as he pulled away and his lips found your neck as he kissed it, you moved your head to give him more access.

“I love you.” He said as he peppered his kisses back up to your lips.

“I love you Tom.” You returned as you deepened the kiss. Missing the way he felt, loving the way you molded against him and the amount of passion behind the kiss, something you’d not experienced in almost three years. No man had ever ignited you the way Tom did.

“Oi, oi! I fucking knew it.” You heard screamed from far below you as you both pulled apart and looked down at Harrison. He was outside smoking a cigarette and he’d obviously caught you both.

“Piss off.” Tom laughed back down as you placed your head on his chest and laughed.

“Izzy, baby, we don’t have to pull that bullshit about double booked rooms, you can let your cousin know there’s a free room.” Harrison shouted in his wife’s direction and you and Tom laughed.

“Wanna go back in princess?” Tom asked and you nodded as he stood before making sure you got up safely. “I owe you a proper dance.”

[saltybaltic]

I saw an idea like this online ages ago and it’s just come back to me like ... I could imagine Natasha doing this. You’ve been married a year and you both celebrate your wedding anniversary on the wrong day

Natasha Romanoff X Reader - SAVE THE DATE

Natasha Romanoff / Black Widow X FemReader Fanfic

Synopsis: On the day of your third wedding anniversary with Natasha, you realise that you’ve both been celebrating the wrong date

Warnings: Language

Words: 598

Natasha was humming quietly to herself as she arranged the flowers in the vase on the kitchen counter, a content smile on her face. She was so lost in her own world, happily trimming the stems of each flower that she didn’t even bother to check who was knocking at the door to her apartment, instead just shouting for them to enter.

When she heard the heavy footsteps of several people, she finally did look away from what she was doing, glancing up at the new arrivals with a frown.

“What are you doing here?”

The men laughed quietly, not at all surprised by Natasha’s apparent distaste for their company having known her so long by now.

“Nice to see you too, Nat.” teased Clint, giving the red head a playful smile as he stepped further into the room.

Tony pushed the door closed behind him, side stepping Steve and Clint as he made his way furthest inside and stopped on the opposite side of the breakfast bar in front of Natasha, “You act like you’re not pleased to see three of your favourite colleagues?”

“You’re not my favourites.” shot back Natasha, her tone emotionless but a small curve to her lips none the less. “I married my favourite.”

Ignoring Natasha’s response, Tony nodded to the flowers she was arranging, “Those are nice.”

“Aren’t they?” Natasha was unable to hide the happiness in her voice, a beaming expression making its way across her face as she looked over the flowers again and slid another into place. “My wife knows what she’s doing.”

“I’ll say.” agreed Tony, hopping up onto the counter and leaning back to look at the red head, “What’s the occasion? What’d she do wrong?”

Natasha tutted, “She didn’t do anything wrong, it’s our wedding anniversary.”

Tony appeared puzzled for a moment, looking like he was going to say something before abruptly closing his mouth in thought. He glanced over at Clint who was checking his watch with interest, both men sharing a look once he lifted his head.

It wasn’t often Natasha missed something and she definitely didn’t miss the awkward silence and eye contact between the two men, her hands stilling momentarily as she gave them both a frown, “What?”

“What’s the date?” asked Tony.

“The fifteenth.”

Tony clicked his tongue, looking back at Clint who shook his head vigorously from side to side in warning. Natasha didn’t miss that either.

“What’s wrong with all of you?”

Steve cleared his throat awkwardly, stepping forward so he was in the middle of Tony and Clint and the two men could no longer keep looking at each other, “It’s nothing Nat, that’s really sweet that you got flowers on your anniversary, congratulations.”

The mumbling of the man on the counter didn’t pass Natasha by, however he had said it so quietly that she couldn’t quite catch what the words were. Picking up one of the roses, she pointed the stem at him threateningly, “Spit it out, Stark.”

“Well the thing is ... I remember your wedding. It was a beautiful day really, I-“

“I wouldn’t Tony.” cut in Clint, certain that what was going to happen next wouldn’t be pleasant. The death glare he received from Natasha was enough for him to throw his hands up in surrender and fall silent again.

Tony cleared his throat, “So ... see ... I can’t help but think that there was a little discussion about the date because we had some work issues we needed to resolve.”

“Yes, I remember.” agreed Natasha.

“And do you also remember you two getting married on the thirteenth? Because I do.”

Natasha scoffed, “No we didn’t.”

“Clint?”

At Tony’s call of his name, Clint looked down at the ground, scuffing his boot against the floor as he scratched the back of his neck uncomfortably and tried not to shrink under Natasha’s gaze.

“Well?” asked Natasha impatiently.

Clint winced at the irritated tone, reluctantly meeting her eye with a small shrug, “It was the thirteenth, Nat. Remember? It was a Friday? We all made a joke about it being bad luck?”

Opening her mouth to retort, Natasha quickly shut it again as she narrowed her eyes and thought for a moment. Instead of arguing with her team mates any further, she raised her voice so it would reach the bedroom down the corridor, “Babe, can you come in here a sec?”

As you made your way into the kitchen, you hadn’t been expecting company and offered the men in your apartment a warm smile. You moved over towards Natasha, resting a hand on her hip as you leaned in to press a kiss to her cheek but weren’t given the chance as she stepped back to speak.

“What date did we get married?”

The fact she hadn’t allowed you to kiss her along with the question threw you a little, not sure if it was a test of some kind as you glanced around everyone in the room with a suspicious frown before looking back at your wife, “The fifteenth? Hence the flowers? Is this a trick because I’m a little confused.”

“They say it was the thirteenth.”

Your eyebrows furrowed further, rubbing at your chin in thought as you gave your head a shake slowly, “No ... it was definitely the fifteenth.”

“You know you two were lucky you had us helping you for the wedding because you’re both useless.” cut in Tony, going to place one of the flowers beside him into the vase but receiving a smack to the back of his hand from Natasha, “It was the thirteenth, dummies.”

“No ...” this time you didn’t sound so confident and Tony had to laugh.

“Oh come on! You don’t remember us teasing you?” asked Tony, a disbelievingly smile on his face. “We were all like ‘wow can’t believe you’re not only going to marry the black widow but you’re doing it on Friday the 13th’. Any of this ringing a bell?”

Looking away from the other men in the room, you gave Natasha a glance. The other woman looked like she couldn’t decide if she found the whole thing terribly annoying or just funny.

“I’m getting our marriage certificate.” you announced, making your way hastily out of the room and all but running down the corridor back to your bedroom.

By this point even Steve and Clint had joined in with Tony’s amusement, all three men trying and failing to hide their smiles as they waited patiently for you to return with the news. Not one of them could contain a laugh as they heard you shouting from the other end of the hallway.

“Holy shit they’re right!” you brought the piece of paper with you for good measure, dashing back into the kitchen and holding it up to Natasha in disbelief, “We’ve been celebrating on the wrong date.”

“Haven’t you guys been married like three years now?” asked Steve.

“That’s enough out of you, Captain Obvious.” you scolded, looking back at your wife, “Is this my fault or your fault?”

Natasha shrugged with a smirk, “I’m not sure but let’s say it’s yours.”

“Yeah that sounds about right.” you muttered, tossing the certificate onto one of the kitchen sides as you made your way towards the fridge and looked inside.

“What a relief I hadn’t given you your present yet. Now I can save it until next year.”

At Natasha’s words you immediately closed the fridge door, turning to the other woman and quirking an eyebrow as you opened the bottle of juice you had just retrieved, “Well that hardly seems fair, I already gave you yours.”

“I know ... and your present was soooo much better than flowers as well.” teased Natasha.

“Hand it over.”

Natasha smirked, going back to arranging the flowers and shrugging, “Couldn’t possibly give you it now. It’s more of a private gift and we have company.”

“Yeah, why are you guys here again?” you asked, directing your question to your team mates as you suddenly became desperate to have Natasha to yourself.

“Funnily enough it wasn’t to watch you two have anniversary sex two days too late.” joked Tony, hopping down from the kitchen counter, “Work beckons.”

You groaned, “Seriously?”

“We’ll let you two get ready, meet you downstairs in ten minutes.” Stated Steve, offering you both a nod before all three men started to make their way outside.

Grumbling quietly, you took a few swigs of your juice before tossing it back into the fridge. Just as you closed the door, you felt two arms wrap around your waist and Natasha’s chin resting on your shoulder.

“Seems marrying me on the thirteenth was bad luck after all.” teased Natasha, pressing a quick kiss to the side of your neck, “Now you have to work and miss out on your anniversary gift.”

Turning in the other woman’s arms, you gave her a grin as you brushed your thumb over the side of her jaw, “Oh honey, you’re gonna be giving me that gift later. And it’s already two days late so you have some making up to do.”

Natasha laughed, giving you a quick kiss as she stepped back with a wink, “Challenge accepted.”

[parkerslatte]

Dance With Me Tonight

Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Warnings: mentions of cheating

Word Count: 2k

Summary: While everyone is dancing at Derek and Savannah's wedding, Spencer is sat at one of the tables observing until one of Savannah's friends asks him to dance.

MASTERLIST

be added to my taglist --- HERE

***

The upbeat music with the addition of some bodies moving wildly on the dance floor was enough to put a smile on Y/N’s face. Taking a sip from her champagne, Y/N wandered around the edge of the dance floor. It wasn’t too long ago when she had been on the dance floor herself, dancing without a care in the world. She stepped off to have a bit of a breather and to get away from all the cramped bodies. 

“Hey!” Savannah said, approaching her and wrapping her in a hug.

“There’s the bride!” Y/N responded, hugging her friend back, “I can’t believe you’re married.”

Savannah chuckled, “I can’t either,” She stared at Derek, who was standing on the other side of the dance floor, with a loving smile on her face. She turned back to Y/N, “What about you? Do you have anyone in your life right now?”

“Definitely not,” Y/N responded, “I haven’t really been out on dates since my last break up - it was messy. And besides, I’m not really looking for anyone right now.”

Savannah gave her a look that said she didn’t believe her, “Y/N it’s been four years, you can surely get out there and have a bit of fun.” 

“I know but-” 

“But nothing Y/N, there are plenty of single people here, go and mingle, ask someone to dance.” Savannah said. 

Y/N sighed, “I’ll think about it.”

Savannah shook her head at her friend's hesitance. She looked over her shoulder slightly before smiling. Derek approached the two women. He greeted Savannah with a kiss on the cheek.

“What are you two ladies talking about?” He questioned.

“I’m trying to get Y/N to dance with someone,” Savannah answered, “She doesn’t want to.”

Derek scanned the crowd before his eyes landed on somebody. A small smirk fell onto his face before he turned to face Y/N, “Ask him to dance.”

Y/N turned and looked in the direction Derek was pointing. There was a man sitting on his own just watching the crowd. He looked like he had been sitting there a while. 

“Why? I don’t even know him.” Y/N stated, turning back to the happily married couple. 

“Then get to know him.” Savannah said before a slow song came on. The two bid goodbye to Y/N and headed to the dance floor. 

Y/N gave them a parting smile and swirled her glass of champagne. She wanted to get back out and start dating again but after the whole thing with her last boyfriend, she was hesitant. Y/N was afraid that any new relationship she gets into, it will only end up like her previous one. 

Looking back at the man that Derek had pointed to, Y/N noticed that he had no indication of moving. Nearly everyone who was in a relationship was dancing to the slow song that blasted out of the speakers. There were a few people who weren't dancing standing on the outskirts but they were engrossed in conversation. The only person on their own was the man.  

Y/N finished off her champagne and headed over to the man. She sat down in a chair next to him. He didn’t question anything at first until he noticed that he had no idea who she was. 

“Hi, I’m Y/N.” She introduced herself.

The man gave her a tight lipped smile, “I’m Spencer.”

“Nice to meet you.” Y/N said and internally cursed herself for how awkward she was making the situation.

“Nice to meet you too.” Spencer replied.

“I’m sorry if this is weird. I mean I don’t know you and I just randomly came over here.” Y/N spoke. 

“No it’s fine,” Spencer dismissed, “I enjoy the company.”

Y/N smiled before the two fell into a surprisingly comfortable silence. After the slow song drew to a close, another was played. There were some couples who left the dance floor to get a drink or sit down but most stayed. Y/N caught sight of Savannah. Noticing that Y/N and Spencer were sitting together, she mouthed, ‘Ask him to dance.’

Y/N cast her gaze away from Savannah and turned to Spencer. He was watching all of the couples on the dance floor. At first she hadn’t noticed but he was extremely attractive. His hair was slightly messy, his eyes shone bright and felt warm and inviting. This nearly caused Y/N to back out of asking him altogether, she felt as if the man sitting next to her was way out of her league. It wasn’t until Spencer turned to face her when she spoke up and asked him.

“Do you want to dance?” Y/N blurted, “You don’t have to if you don’t want to. I just thought that since we’re basically the only people not dancing, it’ll be fun.”

Spencer looked taken back by the question at first. It didn’t register on his face but he was surprised that Y/N had asked him. He had noticed her earlier in the night and thought that she was gorgeous. Normally Spencer would say no to dancing with someone, especially when it was someone he had just met, but his mouth was quicker than his brain.

“Sure.” Spencer said.

A wide smile stretched across Y/N’s face, she hopped up from the chair and offered her hand to Spencer. He placed his hand in hers and the two walked to the middle of the dance floor. They faced each other before Y/N slowly wrapped her arms around Spencer’s neck, locking her fingers at the back. Spencer’s arms snaked around her waist, pulling her close. Both Y/N and Spencer could feel their faces heating up due to the close contact. The two swayed gently to the music. 

“So, you’re friends with Savannah?” Spencer asked quietly, pulling her slightly closer so she could hear him over the music. 

Y/N nodded, “Yeah, we’ve been friends for a few years now. I take it you’re friends with Derek?”

“Yeah I am,” Spencer answered, “Do you work with Savannah?”

“No, I’m an interior designer, I met Savannah through another mutual friend. I’ve been close to her ever since,” Y/N answered, “How long have you known Derek?”

“Since I started working for the FBI.” Spencer stated.

Everything suddenly clicked into place for Y/N, “Wait. You’re Spencer Reid. Savannah mentioned you a couple times.” What Y/N failed to mention was that Savannah had said on numerous occasions how perfect Y/N and Spencer would be for each other. Now Y/N can see why Derek had sent her his way.

“Don’t worry, it was good stuff she mentioned.” Y/N added once she noticed Spencer’s confused expression.

Spencer smiled slightly, “Well, since you know a bit about me, can I know a little about you?”

The two fell into an easy conversation. Y/N’s arms were still wrapped around Spencer’s neck but she did find herself playing with the ends of his hair on multiple occasions and she quickly stopped herself. Spencer’s arms were still wrapped tightly around Y/N’s waist - their bodies close. The two were so wrapped up in conversation that they failed to notice that the music had changed to a more upbeat song. They still swayed slightly from side to side like no one was watching them - they were wrapped up in their own little world. 

For the rest of the night, Y/N and Spencer didn’t leave each other's side. The two had spoken all night yet they never ran out of anything to talk about. There were multiple occasions where Spencer would go off on a tangent and Y/N would watch him with admiration. Once he noticed he was doing it however, he stopped and apologised. 

“Don’t stop and don’t apologise, I’m learning things.” Y/N would reply before Spencer would give her a big smile before continuing on his tangent. 

They both sat at a table on their own. Thir chairs were so close to each other that Y/N’s leg would brush against Spencer’s continuously, not that either of them minded. Somehow the topic of Y/N’s ex-boyfriend was brought up in conversation. She didn’t mean to bring it up but she was telling Spencer about the time when she decorated her and her ex’s apartment and he made her do it all again because he hated it.

“At the time I was too in love with him to argue,” Y/N explained, “We were talking about re-decorating the apartment before so while he was on a business trip, I did it. I thought I did a good job - wait scratch that - I did an amazing job, but he made me do it all again, this time he demanded what went where. He always did things like that, demand things of me.”

“Why didn’t you leave?” Spencer questioned.

“Believe me there were several occasions where I nearly did but I just felt obligated to stay, after all it was my apartment and he wasn’t leaving any time soon,” Y/N said, “It wasn’t until I found out that he hadn’t been going on business trips at all, he had been cheating on me the whole time,” Y/N sighed, “I kicked him out after that.”

Spencer couldn’t believe that someone would cheat on Y/N, to him she was perfect, “Then he was stupid.”

“You can say that again.” Y/N said, taking a sip from her drink.

“I’m serious, Y/N. It’s stupid that he cheated on you. You are intelligent, funny, kind, beautiful - he’s an idiot for not seeing something perfect in front of him.”

Y/N’s face flushed at Spencer’s words, “You don’t mean that-”

“I mean every word of it.” Spencer said seriously. 

Y/N smiled at Spencer. No one had said something that kind to her before - especially not someone she had met only a few hours ago. Y/N didn’t know why, but it felt like she had known Spencer for ages. How easy they could have a conversation and joke around with each other - that was something that Y/N could only really do with her closest friends. There was something special about Spencer - something beautiful. 

As the night drew to a close, everyone began leaving. While saying goodbye to Savannah and Derek, they gave her a knowing smirk. Y/N quickly dismissed it, not wanting to prove them right before heading to her car. She only had a couple of drinks that night before switching to water when she started her conversations with Spencer, so she was safe to drive since she sobered up through the night. 

Before Y/N was about to climb in her car, someone called her name. Spencer rushed towards her and Y/N turned around and smiled. They had said goodbye to each other just before everyone else began leaving, Y/N gave her number to Spencer as well so they could keep in contact. 

Spencer stopped in front of Y/N, “Hey.”

Y/N smiled, throwing her bag in her car, “Hey, what’s up?”

“If you aren’t busy tomorrow, do you want to get coffee with me?” Spencer asked. 

“Of course, I’d love to!” Y/N said.

“Great.” Spencer smiled at her, giving her an awkward thumbs up. 

Y/N shook her head slightly, a smile still evident on her face before wrapping her arms around Spencer, pulling him into a hug. Spencer wrapped his arms around her waist. He wasn’t a big hugger but with Y/N it was different, it felt nice. 

Y/N pulled away after a moment, “Thank you for tonight, Spencer. It was fun,” Y/N leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Spencer’s cheek, “I’ll see you tomorrow. Text me where and when.”

Y/N climbed into her car and drove off, not before giving Spencer one parting smile. He was left standing on his own as he watched her car drive off, a dopey grin on his face.

[talatomaz]

defenceless | jj x fem!teen!reader

a/n: i’ve been rewatching criminal minds and i can’t believe it’s been a year since i last wrote for jj. and i have no idea where this came from.

(feedback/positive comments are appreciated)

warnings: major references to blood/being stabbed. mentions of assault

word count: 2.7k

masterlist | request list | request rules

r is jj’s 19 year old adopted daughter and gets victimised after stopping an unsub from assaulting someone

i do not give you permission to repost or translate my fics on any platform - likes/reblogs are okay and are much appreciated

“Morning, baby.”

You smiled when your Mum came up behind you and softly kissed your head.

“Morning, Mum. I made you some breakfast.”

You said, pouring coffee into the seasoned profiler’s ‘No.1 Mom’ mug that you’d gotten for her several years ago.

You’d gifted it to her on the first Mother’s Day you had with her after she adopted you. And she used it that morning and every morning since.

“God, what’d I do to deserve a daughter like you?”

JJ said proudly as she dug into her breakfast, happily munching on a piece of toast as she looked through her case file. Whatever dark, horrific crime she and her team were investigating simplified down to a few pages in that brown file.

“Busy day?” You asked, leaning against the kitchen counter, staring across at her.

“You have no idea. I’ve been up for a few hours trying to compile some notes on this case we’re working. Young, relatively low-risk, women are being raped in alleyways and there are no witnesses.”

She explained as she continued to eat whilst scribbling shorthand notes on a notepad.

“Any ideas on who you’re looking for yet?”

She hummed in answer. Swallowing her food, she replied, “Yeah, I think we have a preliminary profile that we want to release to the public later today.”

Pouring the rest of her coffee into a travel cup, she put her files in her bag and placed it on the counter you were resting against.

“You got class today?”

You were studying criminology, wanting to follow in your mother’s footsteps and become a profiler.

Nodding, you answered, “Yeah, then some of my friends and I are gonna head to the mall. And yes, I’ll message you constantly, so you know.”

You added when your mother opened her mouth to presumably ask that very question.

“Thanks, sweetie. Whoever our unsub is, he’s targeting women your age and considering he’s probably here right now, I need to know you’re safe.”

“I know, Mum. Now go, you don’t want to be late for work. Hotch only lets you be late once, you know.” You smirked.

“Yes, I know. Bye, y/n. I love you.” Your mother mirrored your expression and kissed your cheek.

“I love you too.” You replied, handing your Mum her keys and you watched her leave as the white door closed gently behind her.

***

“Maybe just call him out on it and see what he says?”

You suggested to your friend, Kerri, after she explained her boyfriend troubles to you and your other friend, Ally.

“I mean, the worst that could happen is-”

You stopped mid-sentence when you heard a muffled scream. Furrowing your brows, you walked closer to where the sound came from; an alleyway behind an old warehouse.

Remembering your mother’s earlier profile, you whispered to your friends, “Stay behind me.”

“Y/N, what is it?”

“Not sure.”

Inching around the corner, you saw two figures behind a dumpster. The smaller figure, who appeared to be a blonde female, was struggling against the male standing over her.

“Hey! Get away from her!”

Shouting, you ran up to the two and watched as the man’s head whipped around to face you before he darted off, jumping over a fence.

Approaching the woman, you saw she was half naked and had blood seeping from her nose.

“Oh god. Call 911, she’s been assaulted.” You said quickly to your friends who stood behind you, shocked at what they had just witnessed.

Hearing Kerri following your instructions, you took off the jacket you were wearing and wrapped it around the exposed girl.

“H-He tried to r-r-”

Unable to form the words, the girl started to sob at her ordeal.

“I know. It’s okay, honey. What’s your name?” You asked, speaking quietly to try to calm her as if she was a spooked animal.

“A-Annie.” She choked out as she tugged your jacket closer around her.

“Annie, you’re safe now. He can’t hurt you.”

The former began to sob harder and fell against your chest. Wrapping one arm around her, you used the other to take out your phone to call your Mum.

“Shh, it’s okay, Annie. You’re okay.” You said, soothing the distraught girl who was currently crying her heart out against you.

“Hey, y/n, what’s up?”

After quickly explaining what had just transpired, JJ told you and your friends to remain where you were since you were all witnesses and that she’d be there soon.

“You did good, babygirl.”

Morgan said, handing you a cup of coffee.

You were currently sitting at your mother’s desk at the BAU, having already given your statement to both local police and your Mum’s team at the crime scene. Emily and Spencer had driven your friends home whilst you came with your Mum to her work - she refused to leave you alone, even though you’d argued that it was still daylight and you’d be fine.

You didn’t reply, deciding to sip the hot drink, wincing when it burned your tongue.

“He’s right, y/n. Most people probably wouldn’t have heard anything.”

You glanced up at your Mum who stood above you, her hand resting on your shoulder.

“What will happen now? To the unsub, I mean. I interrupted him so he never managed to rape Annie.”

“He’ll probably try to hurt someone else.”

You turned to face Hotch as he approached you and the rest of his team.

“I just got off the phone with the hospital. They’ve discharged Annie into the care of her parents. She wanted me to tell you ‘thank you’.”

“I’m glad she’s okay. Physically anyways. So, you think he’ll get sloppy? Since he never got to...finish, he’s probably going to be antsy right? He might make a mistake?” You asked, hopeful that your Mum would catch him soon.

“More than likely. He’s definitely going to be angry, especially since we’ve just released the profile along with the sketch you helped us with, y/n.” Hotch answered, a gleam of pride in his eyes.

“Anything I could do to help,” you replied.

Standing up, you faced your Mum, “I think I’m going to go home. I’m kind of exhausted.”

“I’ll drive you h-”

“It’s okay,” you interrupted your Mum, “you’re busy here and you’ve got a lot of work to do. Besides, it’s only mid-afternoon so I’ll be fine. I-I just need some air.” You said, your voice faltering when you felt tears forming.

Clearing your throat, you held back your emotions and kissed your Mum on her cheek, “I’ll message you when I get home.”

“Okay, baby. I’m proud of you.”

The tall blonde hugged you close to her which you returned with as much ferocity, her hands stroking your hair as she cradled your head against her.

Bidding your goodbyes to the rest of the team, you left the federal building.

“JJ, you okay?” Morgan asked.

JJ had heard the emotion in your voice and though she was proud to have seen you comforting the most recent victim, it had hurt her heart to see what came after the ambulance drove away with an injured Annie in the back.

Once you’d given your statement and described the unsub to her and her team, she’d followed you to her old vacant office from her media liason days where you’d broken down.

She had watched you hold yourself together by a thread all throughout the questioning but had known that the adrenaline high would crash soon. And you quite literally did crash. In her arms, the moment she had closed the door behind her.

She had fought back her own tears as she gathered you into her arms, soothing you as you did earlier with Annie.

She’d tried as hard as she could to keep you away from her world.

She didn’t want you to be exposed to any more darkness than you’d already experienced when you were younger, before you’d met her.

“JJ?”

The blonde blinked, breaking away from her thoughts to stare back at the rest of the team.

“She did good, JJ.” Morgan repeated as JJ simply nodded, not knowing what to say.

***

Taking out your phone, you sent a message to your group chat with Kerri and Ally, wanting to make sure they were okay.

After receiving replies from the both of them confirming that they were fine and just a bit shaken up, you placed your phone back in your pocket.

Sighing, you continued walking down the relatively empty street; the majority of people either at work or school, unaware of what had happened just a few hours earlier.

You thought about Annie and later crying in your Mum’s arms. You didn’t even know why you did. Spencer probably would have given you some fact about adrenaline crashes but you shook your head, feeling self-conscious.

There was no need for you to break down like that.

All it achieved was your Mum being worried about you which was the last thing you wanted because it meant she’d be distracted from doing her job. Catching this asshole.

Hands in your pockets, you felt the bright sun shine down on your face.

Stopping for a brief moment, you glanced up at the sky, and allowed yourself to breathe.

As you were about to carry on walking, you felt a harsh grip on your arm pull you into an abandoned parking lot.

You thrashed against the strong hold, the self-defence skills your Mum taught you kicking in.

Stomping on the large figure’s foot, you smirked at the grunt of pain that fell from his lips. Then you elbowed them in their stomach and threw your head back into theirs. Hearing more shouts of pain, you started to run before you were roughly pushed against a brick wall.

Your breaths came out in heavy pants and your eyes widened as you stared into familiar eyes.

It was the unsub.

He held himself tight against you, pulling a switchblade from his pocket and into your view. Your eyes flickered from the sharp blade to his eyes. They were filled with fury as blood dripped from his nose - from when you’d head butted him.

“Good. So you recognise me.” His voice was hoarse, as if he’d swallowed a bunch of nails.

“What do you want?” You spat out, refusing to show any indication of fear to him.

“You ruined the other girl for me. But you seem like a challenge. I like that.”

Pressing the knife against your neck, he used his free hand to undo his belt.

You barely controlled the terror that threatened to rise through your body. Instead, you tried to focus on the pressure of his weapon, waiting for a slight reprieve where you could make your move to escape.

That moment came when he unzipped his trousers.

The pressure lightened for a few seconds which was all you needed.

Grabbing his wrist, you twisted the knife away from you and kneed him in the groin. Pushing him away, you stumbled, trying to escape.

But he was quick on his feet.

He swiftly picked up the knife that had fallen to the floor and thrust it into your stomach.

You groaned, the pain unlike anything you had ever experienced before. Your hand instinctively went to your stomach as blood started to coat your clothing.

You slumped down the wall as the unsub crouched down, sneering at you, “Bitch.”

Tapping the ground behind you, you felt a piece of broken glass in your fingers. Gripping it tightly, you gathered all your strength and plunged it into his neck.

He yelled out, his hand going to the glass that was still in his flesh.

Recognising what he was about to do, you clambered to your feet and watched as he pulled the shard, of what appeared to be from a broken beer bottle, out of his skin. Blood splatted all over the wall that you had been against, just moments before.

Blood continued to seep out from your wound.

You took off your jacket - the one you had previously wrapped around Annie - and pressed it against your skin. You groaned at the white hot pain that seared through your skin.

Knowing you were only down the street from the Quantico building, you took out your phone and called your Mum as you walked, as well as you could in your condition, back to the federal building.

“You home already?”

“M-Mum, c-come outside. I-I need you.” You choked out, trying to steady your breathing.

“Y/N? Are you okay?”

You could hear her shouting to the rest of her team before she continued to talk into the phone.

You made it to the entrance of the federal building but you were too overcome with exhaustion and you felt yourself drop to the floor.

You could hear shouts from the people around you as they watched blood pool around you.

“Oh my god. Y/N!”

You heard your Mum yell as she fell to your side, pressing her hands heavily against your wound.

You barely heard as Hotch called 911, stating his name and rank and urged for an ambulance to be sent immediately.

You struggled to keep your eyes open as you looked up at your Mum.

“Come on, baby. Stay awake for me.” JJ begged, tears carelessly running down her face.

“It hurts, Mum.”

“I know, baby. I know. But you’re strong. Stay with me. How’d this happen?”

JJ knew the only way to keep you awake was to continue talking so your brain could still remain active.

“H-He’s dead. He attacked me. I-In a car park. Down there.”

You weakly raised your hand and pointed towards the direction you had come from.

“Good girl. Just stay with me. You’re going to be okay. Y/N? Y/N!”

JJ screamed when she watched your eyes flutter closed as you lost consciousness.

***

“Woah, y/n. It’s just me.”

JJ said quickly when you jumped as she came up behind you to kiss your head.

It had been a few weeks since you’d been stabbed.

You’d woken up in a hospital, hooked up to all sorts of machines monitoring your heart rate. Your eyes had fallen on your mother who, once she saw you were awake, started to cry and hug you close to her. That then made you start crying and the two of you were just a pile of tears as you clung to each other.

After the tears had stopped and the doctors had checked up on you, JJ had told you that they’d found the unsub in a parking lot a few blocks from the BAU.

A couple of days after, you’d been discharged from the hospital. Your mother had stayed by your side up until this week when you had urged her to go back to work.

That had led you to now. She’d just arrived home from work and you hated that you were still on edge after your attack, despite your Mum telling you it was normal.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, honey.” JJ said softly as she came to sit beside you on the sofa.

You both sat in silence for a few moments before you spoke, your voice coming out in a whisper.

“I’m scared, Mum.”

You felt her eyes on you as she spoke, “Scared? He’s dead, y/n. He can’t hurt you.”

“I know, I just-In that moment when I fought him, I was so defenceless. And I’m scared of what will happen the next time I can’t defend myself.”

You continued, tears welling in your eyes as you stared ahead, unable to face your mother.

“Y/N,” JJ gently turned your face so she could look into your eyes.

“Am I defenceless?”

You blinked, having not expected that question. “What? No.”

“Exactly. I’m not. But I felt like it after I was kidnapped and tortured a few years ago. It’s normal to feel like that, y/n. But it’ll pass. I can promise you that.”

“It’s like I can feel him stabbing me over and over again.” You choked out, failing to force your tears back down.

“Oh, baby.”

JJ gently pulled you to her as she wrapped her arms around your body. She cradled your head against her chest as you clung to her arms, now sobbing.

“I got you, y/n. You’re safe. I got you.” She repeated, soothing you as you continued to cry.

Still hugging you against her, she kissed your head,

“As long as you have me, you’ll never be defenceless.”

[awanderingdeal]

I vote leo meeting the harvard team! 💕

So this fic has been a bit of a mare to write, but we are here!

You can read the first part of this here

Rating: T

CW: Alcohol, academic superiority complex and coming out.

Logan, Finn, Leo, Percy, Will and the general Sweater Weather universe belongs to @lumosinlove. The other team members were made up by me for this fic.

“Okay, tell me their names again,” Leo said, tugging at the rolled neck of his sweater as he shut the car door.

“Nutty,” Finn laughed. “There’s not going to be a pop quiz. We’ll introduce you when we meet people.”

Leo scowled, letting Logan thread their fingers together. It was weird being able to do this in public still and Leo couldn’t help but glance around. “I just don’t want to make a fool of myself.” Logan squeezed his hand reassuringly, meeting Leo’s gaze with a soft smile.

“Nobody expects you to know anything. And everybody’s great.” Logan wrinkled his nose like he’d just smelt something bad. “Except Wesley, he’s an ass, but I’ll point him out.”

Like many of the others in Harvard square, the building was all exposed brick and white accents, blending in seamlessly with those around it. Inside was different, more modern. Leo didn’t get to see much of the first floor, the one dedicated to the restaurant Finn, Logan and the rest of the team had dined at previous evening, before he was ushered up a grand staircase, but he’d seen the photographs. The cherry blossom ceilings and walls of glass provided the perfect backdrop for the instagram feeds of the hoards of celebrities and influencers that flocked there. Hence his surprise when, after checking their invitations again, an employee pushed open a set of double doors to reveal a room that more resembled a 1920’s speakeasy than anything 21st century. A loud cheer went up as they crossed the threshold.

“Is this a team thing?” Leo mouthed at Logan.

He got his answer from Percy Marshall. Leo had met him a few times before when they’d played the Rangers. “You’re the last to arrive,” Percy chuckled. “I’d say I was surprised, but that would be a lie.” He slapped a hand playfully against Finn’s bicep. Is this outfit change number 52, Finn? Don’t worry, you didn’t disappoint. You look wonderful.”

“Fuck you, Marshy,” Finn laughed. “Tremz was on a call to his sisters actually.”

“Oh, I do apologise,” Percy clasped his hand to his chest. “We wouldn’t dare break up a Tremblay soiree.”

“You’re an ass,” Logan scoffed, plucking at Finn’s slacks. “I was only talking to them because Finn was taking so long. Did you know there are several shades of mustard and only one of them goes with this shirt?”

“Oh look, they argue like an old married couple too,” William Morgan, another of those Leo knew, and Percy’s teammate on the Rangers, teased. “Marshy, these hands are looking too empty. Get these men a drink.”

“Aye, aye, capt’n.” Leo set to follow as Percy led the way to the bar, stumbling slightly as he found Will’s firm grasp on his shoulder stopping his movement. Logan turned as his fingers slipped from his hand.

“Go ahead, Tremzy. I’m going to introduce Leo to some of the team. We want all the gossip without you two around to censor him.”

Logan frowned. “I’m not sure -”

“Relax, Logan. This isn’t a hazing. We’ll be right over there,” Will pointed towards a group perched on stools around two of the tables in the centre of the room, a mix of the old team and what Leo assumed were their partners. “Knut’s a big boy. He can object for himself if he really doesn’t want to come.”

“I’m sure I can hold my own,” Leo cocked his head slightly and smiled. “You better not leave Harzy with Percy for too long. They’ll be three shots down by now.”

The next few hours passed in a whirlwind of introductions. Leo had lost count of the number of hands he'd shaken and the new names he'd learned. It reminded him of those first few days in Gryffindor, being shuffled around from place to place and everybody telling him he'd get used to it.

The quiet of the bathroom was a welcome reprieve to the chaos. “Sweetheart,” Leo laughed, listening to Finn sing to himself in the stall. “Are you okay? You’ve been in there a while.”

“I’m coming, I’m coming.” A concerningly loud crash preceded the door being pushed open. “I’m here.”

“You’re drunk,” Leo chuckled.

Finn pulled his hands from under the stream of water, shaking droplets everywhere as he squeezed the tips of his thumb and forefinger together. “Maybe just the tiniest bit.”

Leo shook his head fondly. “Let’s go and find Lo.” Glancing back to check Finn was following him proved to be a mistake. “Shit, I’m sorry,” he apologised, rubbing at his forehead and stepping back from the wall of muscle he’d just crashed into. Of course, the tall man with his hair pulled back into a loose ponytail was the one person Leo hadn’t yet met.

“Leo, this is James. Call him Hunter,” Finn grinned with his hand resting in the small of Leo’s back. "Hunter, this is -"

"Leo Knut. I know. Everybody knows," Hunter said and Leo noted the familiar notes of his own accent in the words. He faltered with his hand thrust halfway in Leo's direction, letting it fall back by his side. "Oh fuck, sorry man. Did you want to introduce him as your boyfriend? Go ahead."

"It's cool, no worries." Finn shrugged, the rounds of his cheeks tinged with the slightest of blushes. "Aww, what the heck!" He squared his shoulders, standing a little taller, the corners of his mouth splitting with pride. "Hunter, this is Leo, my boyfriend."

Hunter extended his hand again for Leo to shake. “Nice to meet you. Please excuse me, I have to use the bathroom now, but we’ll talk later.”

***

"Boys." The call had come from behind them and Logan groaned low in his chest as they turned to acknowledge it.

"Wes! You made it," Finn smiled, the corners of his mouth tight. "We weren't sure you'd be able to. With all those big meetings you have to attend and such. Is your wife, Renee, wasn’t it, here? I'd love to meet her."

Something flickered in Wes' smug expression. "They stayed in California. Nate has a very busy schedule. Harvard is very important to me, as you know, so I came alone."

“Isn’t Nate three?” Logan blinked.

“You have to give them a good start if you want them to get them to get into a good college these days, I’m sure you understand. Where was it you went, Leo?"

Leo pursed his lips, letting the same calm wash over him that he channelled for interviews. “I didn’t go. I got drafted straight out of high school.”

“Oh, well, that’s a shame,” Wes said. “College isn’t for everybody though, is it?”

Logan bristled beside him, and Leo placed a placating hand on his shoulder. “Indeed,” he blinked. “I didn’t need my intelligence validated by a degree then, and I still don’t now. And I was hardly about to turn down an offer from The Gryffindor Lions now, was I?”

Wes grumbled something that sounded vaguely like an agreement before turning on his heel and walking off in a manner that Leo could only describe as petulant.

“You’re so hot,” Finn took Leo’s face between his hands and pressed a kiss to his lips. “I’m going to get a drink. Do you want another?”

“Please,” Leo nodded. Logan raised his still mostly full glass as a rejection of the offer.

“You should have let me punch him,” Logan huffed. “He would have deserved it.”

"And get blood on your shirt? Let’s leave that on the ice, shall we?” Leo tugged at the lapels of Logan’s jacket.

***

"So," Logan started as they claimed one of the low tables in the corner, a little tucked away from the rest of the room. "What do you think?"

"It's always nice seeing where you two started," Leo hummed, threading his fingers through the thin curls on the nape of Logan's neck. "I just don't know how you used to do this everyday. Live amongst all this energy. The guys all seem great, but it's a lot even now and I'm assuming you've all mellowed somewhat with age."

"I am not old," Logan scoffed. "Mais non, I agree. Wasn't always like this though. There's more than one graduating class here and we've been apart a long time. A lot of excitement."

"Sorry, sorry, I got caught up with Biscuit. He has triplets now, isn't that crazy?" Finn said, pressing a glass into Logan’s hand and setting Leo’s in front of him before flopping onto the couch opposite. "One Margarita for the fine sir."

"Thanks, Harzy," Leo laughed lightly.

"I can't believe him and Vanessa are still together," Logan hummed, taking a long sip of his drink. He leaned back, crossing his left leg over his right thigh and snaked his arm across the dark leather, brushing his fingers against Leo's shoulder. "I only introduced them because she was flirting with you at that party, the one just after we got back from winter break my junior year, and I wanted to distract her."

"Oh, so that's why you got all moody," Finn said. "She wasn't flirting, she needed help with an essay, idiot."

"The fact you remember Logan's mood on a night seven years ago says more about you than him," Leo snorted.

"First of all, Tremzy being grumpy? That's just a good guess. Second, some of us were still stupid at 20, Knutty." Finn sighed wistfully. "Hey, at least it doesn't feel like I'm being stabbed in the chest these days when I think about it. Progress, right?"

Logan tipped his glass in Finn's direction, nodding his head briefly. "I'll cheers to that."

"To -" Leo started, letting the toast die off as another of Finn and Logan's old team mates approached. He hoped the disappointment he felt wasn't written across his face; whilst he hadn't really expected to be left alone for too long, he had hoped for the brief respite to have lasted longer.

"Hey." The newcomer had his hand shoved into his pockets and his shoulders stooped, almost as if he was trying to hide himself. "I'm not interrupting anything, am I?"

"Ken!" Finn patted the empty seat next to him. "Of course not. Come, sit."

Leo extended his arm, offering his hand. "Nice to meet you. Ken was it? I'm Leo."

"Ken's what the team always called me. Don't really hear it much these days." Leo thought he saw something sad in the smile sent his way. "My real name is Obi."

"That's because you went off the radar," Logan gave a pointed look.

"About that -" Obi swiped Finn's drink, ignoring his disgruntled protest. He drained what was left of it, pulling at an non-existent loose thread on his sweater. "I wanted to say thank you, you know. For having the guts to come out. I know Black and Lupin were first, but that was forced wasn’t it. You made a choice. I know that must have been hard. It was one hell of a ballsy move."

Leo looked between Finn and Logan, expecting them to answer, but neither of them spoke. "We didn't have much of a choice, not if we didn't want to be watching our back every second of every day."

"It was still brave," Obi muttered. "I couldn't have done it."

"Ken, what are you saying?" Logan never did have much patience for others taking their time to get to the point, even though he was a fan of the scenic route himself.

"They gave you a whole Harvard degree and you need to ask that question?" Obi huffed a laugh. "I'm gay. I met Marco, my now husband at the end of senior year, and freaked out. I didn't know how to make these two worlds work, so I didn't. I moved to DC with him, and started a new life. I'm an accountant, he works in marketing. We have four rats, and a Vizsla called Poppy. It's all very domestic. I love it, but I was a coward.”

"You're not a coward. You don't owe that information to anybody, Ken. Not the others, not the media, not the NHL and not us. Not now, not then, not ever.” Finn took a breath, holding up his finger to signal he wasn’t finished. “Besides, it's not as if Lo and I planned this. We went into this with every intention of stuffing this deep, deep into the depths of denial, never for anybody to find out. Including ourselves. And then Nutty came along.”

Obi smiled at Leo, turning his attention back to Finn. "When did you become Gay Yoda?"

"I spend way too much time in our psych's office. Just spreading the wisdom. Heather would be proud."

"Do the others know?" Logan asked.

"Not yet, I think I'd like them to though."

Logan shifted, leaning forward in his seat. "There's no rush, Ken. We've got your back, whatever you decide."

"So, do you have photos?" Leo cocked his head. "We got to show off. Now it's your turn. Even if it's only for us."

"Of Marco?"

"I'm sure he's wonderful, but I was actually talking about Poppy. And the rats," Leo teased.

There were moments when Leo wondered whether they had made the right decision. When he was playing in front of hostile crowds, or fending off stupid media questions, or blocking bigots on twitter. And then there were moments when he knew the decision they had made was 100% perfect. Right now, that was one of those moments.

[blu-joons]

Telling Him Your Pregnant After You Breakup ~ Kim Taehyung

As soon as you watched his figure walk into the room you felt yourself slip into your worst nightmare. He had a soft smile on his face as he walked in and took a seat beside your bed, shaking his head at the situation you found yourself in.

Your eyes remained firmly in front of you, refusing to acknowledge his presence beside you. The tension was indescribable between you both, neither of you really knew what to say not what exactly was going on.

Hospitals were gloomy at the best of times for you, but the presence of Taehyung beside you only made things worse. It had been a good few weeks since the two of you had last spoken, a time you wished to go back to.

“We can’t sit in silence forever,” Taehyung finally whispered, breaking the awkward silence.

“I didn’t ask for you to be here,” you snapped back at him, your cold attitude taking him by surprise. “I can deal with this by myself, I don’t even know why you’re here to be honest, you’re two days too late right now.”

You’d spent the past two nights stuck in hospital in a foreign country, and you were somewhat beginning to get used to things. Taehyung’s face was the last thing you expected to see, especially so far away from home.

“If you didn’t want me here you should have changed your emergency contact when we broke up,” he argued, raising his brows across at you, “it’s your fault I’m here.”

“And I’m telling you that you can go, I’m fine as I am.”

As he looked around your suite in the hospital, he knew you were far from fine. There was paperwork everywhere, several monitors around the room, with a couple still attached to you. The last impression the room gave off was of a person who was doing alright.

“Do you want to tell me what’s happened as to why you’re here? All I know was that you fainted, and they thought it was serious,” he asked of you, leaning across your bed.

His eyes finally captured yours as you looked across to study his face for the first time. Despite the tension, you could still see the concern in his eyes as he tried to figure out what was going on. Your head could only shake as words failed to find you.

“Look, I know we broke up Y/N, but you’re here all by yourself, if nothing else, just think of me as a familiar face right now,” he tried to comfort, “just tell me what’s going on so you at least don’t have to deal with this alone and I can help you get back home to rest.”

Your head continued to shake as your eyes slowly began to water. “It’s not important why I’m here, it’s not really something that you’ll be able to help me with anyway.”

“How do you know?” He continued pushing, “what if something serious has happened?”

Your shoulders shrugged back at him, “something serious has happened Taehyung. Something I don’t think either of us would have expected to happen. I’m pregnant, that’s why I’m here.”

“As in, having a baby?” He stuttered as your eyes looked away from him to the door of your suite. “But we’re not together anymore, how long have you been pregnant for?”

You pointed across to the folder at the foot of your bed, too tired to fill him in on all the information. With every question he had, it was quickly answered by the paperwork written up about you. His hands gripped onto the folder for dear life as he tried to compute everything.

“Were you going to tell me you were pregnant if I didn’t push you?” He asked as he placed the folder back. “Were you just going to keep it as a secret?”

“I was going to tell you, but I just didn’t feel like now was the right time. A lot has already happened in such a short space of time.”

“So, when is the right time Y/N?”

“Please,” you whimpered at the sudden rise in his voice, “the last thing I need right now is a lecture from you, I’ve had enough of those over the years.”

Taehyung nodded, giving himself a few moments to calm down before sitting back down beside you. His hand slowly reached out to rest against your bed, moving gently across until his palm rested carefully over the back of your hand.

“Maybe this is someone’s way of telling us that we shouldn’t have broken up, like we’re destined to be with each other or something. I think this could be fate working Y/N, bringing us back together when we only broke up a short while ago.”

“I would have been pregnant regardless of if we broke up or not though Taehyung.”

He nodded, letting go of a couple of shaky breaths. “But maybe this is the way of telling us that we shouldn’t have broken up in the first place. I don’t want to leave you to go through all of this alone, regardless of our situation, that’s our baby, mine and yours.”

Before you knew it, several tears began to roll down your cheek. Instinctively Taehyung stood up to try and wipe them away, but your free hand brushed him aside, using the back of your hand to wipe under your eyes, pushing him back down into his seat.

“How can you make any promise that we will work this time?”

“Because we’re having a baby Y/N, that changes a lot even if you don’t think it does. It could be what we need to stop fighting and arguing with each other.”

“And what if it makes things worse?” You sighed, feeling his grip on your hand tighten. “What if at the end of this we never even speak to each other again?”

“I thought that was what was going to happen this time around.”

Your eyes closed for a few moments, feeling the bed dip beside you, Taehyung stood up from his chair to sit beside you, resting his other hand against your stomach.

“There’s no harm in trying again Y/N, we know where we went wrong this time, and now we have a baby to be responsible for too,” he smiled.

“You make this all sound so easy,” you frowned, opening your eyes back up to see how close Taehyung was to you. “I don’t want us to make the same mistakes again, we’ve done it once before, but this time it wouldn’t be fair on our child too.”

His head nodded, “which is why we both need to make more of an effort, to be good partners, but also good parents, and not just give up like before.”

“I didn’t give up before Taehyung,” you sighed, “I felt like I had no other choice but to call things a day with how you acted.”

He chuckled gently at how quickly you brushed the blame aside, “I admit I was at fault for why we broke up, which is why I’m here right now to make things right. I want to be a good boyfriend for you Y/N, but most of all I want to be a good dad, if you’ll give me the chance?”

“Of course, I will. This is our baby together, remember saying that?”

“I do, and always will be ours, a part of our family.”

---

Masterlist

[icefire149]

30! Deancas, its cold so cas insists on a scarf instead of his tie

Char I'm so sorry this took a million years to write. Work and life kept me extremely busy, and then this lovely fic kept going in a different direction (which seems like a theme in every prompt I tackled). I really hope you enjoy this one, and have a lovely day :D

#30 - I love you mumbled into a scarf

Dean had his head buried so deep in thought about the impala’s winter maintenance that he almost missed the familiar foot steps breezing past in the garage. His eyebrows pressed together as he pulled his head out of the car. “Cas, buddy, where are you going?”

Cas stopped dead in his tracks, and turned on his heels. “Oh, Dean.” His gaze nervously glanced around the garage. “I didn’t see you there.”

“Are you okay?” Dean leaned against the side of the impala now, and crossed his arms. “You look kinda spooked.”

Cas’ gaze flitted around the car. “Do you happen to have Jack with you?”

“Nah,” Dean answered, scratching the back of his neck. “He went on a grocery run with Sam about a half hour ago.”

“Oh,” Cas exhaled, and visibly relaxed some. “That’s good. He’ll enjoy that greatly.”

“Did you need him?” Dean raised an eyebrow.

“No.”

Dean walked around the car and stopped closer to Cas. “I’m gonna need more than that. What’s up?”

“I need to go Christmas shopping.”

Shaking his head slowly, Dean blinked. “Are….are we celebrating Christmas this year?”

“I’d like to,” Castiel confessed. “I know you and Sam have your own traditions and this is your home, but I’d like to give Jack his first Christmas since….last year he wasn’t here.”

“Oh.” The word tumbled out of Dean’s mouth. He was going to need time to process every verbal hit Cas pummeled him with. In a daze, he pointed at the impala with his thumb. “Do you want a ride?”

“Yes. Yes, of course,” Cas answered genuinely surprised. “Thank you.”

“No problem.” He was still sorting Cas’ words when he found himself opening the impala’s door.

The angel slid into the front passenger seat, and they were off in the direction of the nearest shopping mall. It wasn’t until they hit their second red light that something finally clicked into place in his brain. “Is that why you tend to disappear around the holidays?” Turning, he kept his eyes on Cas long enough to see the twist in his expression.

“Maintaining customs, holiday traditions in this case are incredibly important to humans. I didn’t want to overstep or interfere.”

“You do realize I leave probably a dozen voice mails the closer it gets to Christmas, right?”

“Yeah, it’s quite irritating having my phone going off so often when I’m trying not to take from your time with Sam.”

“Cas,” Dean said exasperatedly. His fingers tightened on the steering wheel, but the blaring honk of the car behind him momentarily cut off his train of thought. When traffic settled so did Dean, “I already get enough of Sammy, and I’m sure he’s more than sick of me too, especially around the holidays.”

“Oh.”

“And yeah, I’ve been wanting you to join us….since forever. Seriously.”

“I’m sorry.”

There was a pained tone in his voice that startled Dean down to his core. He shivered involuntarily. Glancing over at Cas, he saw that the angel had his eyes glued out the window. It bothered Dean not being able to pin down what was bothering Cas. It felt like so much more was hidden in that apology.

Turning back to the road, Dean reached a hand out blindly until it connected with the sleeve of Cas’ coat. “There’s nothing to be that upset about, your heart was in the right place.”

Cas didn’t respond, and Dean didn’t loosen his grip. Instead, he tightened it, but spoke with a note of levity. “And how many times do I gotta tell you that the bunker is your home too?”

“Once more, perhaps?”

Dean could feel the constriction in his chest loosen at the faint smile he could hear in Cas’ voice. He shook his head. “Giving Jack a real first Christmas is a great idea. I can’t believe I didn’t think of it months ago.”

“I think we’ve all been a bit too preoccupied.”

“Yeah.” Dean withdrew his hand and turned the car down the nearest exit. “You’re not wrong.” Basically since Jack was born they’ve been non-stop busy. The past few months in particular were miserable, for all of them.

“I know things aren’t one hundred percent safe with Michael still out there,” Cas started. “But I’m glad that you’ll be home for Christmas. I fear I would’ve ruined Jack’s holiday if you weren’t here.”

“Nah,” Dean argued, feeling his eyebrows pinch together. “My presence shouldn’t make that much of a difference.”

“Dean.” He could feel the angel’s stare sliding under his skin. “I left Jack with Sam so I could chase every whisper, blade, bullet, and trap that might lead to you. And from what I’ve gathered, Sam did much of the same passing Jack off on whoever was willing to keep an eye on him. That wasn’t fair to him, and I’m not proud of my behavior.”

“Hey,” Dean tried cutting through Cas’ frustration with himself. “You had no idea what Sam was gonna do.”

“Jack was never meant to be Sam’s responsibility. I-”

“You did the best you could at the time.” Cas didn’t answer, and Dean couldn’t risk taking his eyes off of traffic in that moment. “I mean it, and besides we’re well past that tunnel now. And we’re gonna give Jack a real Christmas.”

“Thank you.”

Dean hummed in response, and spotted what he was looking for: the sign for the mall. “Don’t tell Sammy, but-” He glanced at Cas’ curious expression. “since we found the bunker, I’ve always wanted to make it look like Christmas threw up all over the place.”

And to Dean’s genuine surprise, Cas laughed. It was happy and light, and when Dean turned for a heartbeat, the image of Cas with his head tilted back was branded into his memory. The corner of his mouth curled into a grin. “After growing up watching every Christmas special imaginable as a replacement for actually celebrating the holiday normally...I think it’s like making up for lost time if we go overboard.”

Another hearty laugh rocked Cas. “Makes logical sense to me.”

“Besides the kid will get a massive kick out of it.”

“I hope so,” Cas muttered, as the car came to a stop in the parking space.

“Oh trust me, he will,” Dean said throwing an arm behind the back of his seat and turning to face the angel. “Soooo….where to first?”

Cas observed their surroundings before letting his stare rest on Dean. “I’m not sure.”

“Well we can just check out whichever store is closest and work our way around. Sound good?”

“Yes,” Cas smiled softly.

Dean’s hand rested on the door handle, but the movement next to him made him pause. He watched Cas dig a hand into his jacket pockets until he pulled out a long, dark blue scarf. “Traded the tie out for a new accessory?”

The angel snapped his hands to his chest in order to hold the scarf tightly. “It’s new,” he said defensively.

“There’s nothing wrong with it,” Dean grinned. “Did you go out of your way to buy something the same exact shade as your favorite tie?”

Cas’ eyes trailed down to the fabric between his fingers. “Maybe,” he answered after a short, meditative pause.

“It’s nice,” Dean said pushing his door open. “I was wondering where the tie was today.” He got out of the car and Cas quickly followed him on the other side.

Cas hooked the scarf behind his neck. “It felt redundant.” His expression quickly twisted in frustration as his hands failed to wrap the scarf in a way that would be comfortable.

“Need some help, buddy?”

The angel’s gaze pierced him like a knife, but that didn’t stop Dean from circling around the impala to stop directly in front of Cas. He held his hands out. “Just let….”

Cas’ hands fell to his sides, and the frustration slowly smoothed out of his face. His gaze locked onto Dean’s.

“-me help.” Dean started wrapping the scarf properly so Cas could duck the lower half of his face out of the chilly, winter air whenever he wanted.

There was something magnetic in Cas’ demeanor. As it circled and grew in his eyes, it filled Dean with a soft warmth that drew him a step closer. His skin burned, but on his brother’s life he couldn’t remember in that moment why he would normally never let himself get this close.

Dean could feel the puffs of Cas’ breath caressing his face, sending goosebumps across every inch of his skin. Despite this, he reached forward and finished laying and puffing the scarf up.

The apples of the angel’s cheek’s appeared pinker when Dean’s gaze slid up from the blue fabric that was still caught between his fingers. Cas’ bottom lip twitched for a second, and then he sunk his face into the scarf.

Thoughts slid back into Dean’s head. Louder than ever. The tips of his fingers clung a little tighter to the scarf. This feeling wasn’t new. Everything that had to do with Castiel, it was like a Gordian Knot. There was too much to sort and untangle. The fragile thing they had was too important to him to destroy completely. The solution was simple and staring him in the face, but he’d been teetering on that decision for a decade now.

Before he could move, a simple vibration resounded up his fingertips. And before Dean could ask what the angel had said, Cas broke the moment.

His hands slowly and shakily unhooked Dean’s grip, lowering them. The scarf slid down Cas’ face as he momentarily glanced around the parking lot. Dean quickly forgot about the brief indescribable look in the angel’s stare, when a glimpse of Cas’ teeth caught his eye.

The tension eased in Cas’ shoulders. He released Dean’s hands with a widening smile. “Let’s go. I’m not sure what would be suitable for a Christmas tree. Any ideas?”

“Yeah,” Dean grinned, losing himself in this new moment. “We’ll have to go elsewhere and grab your truck, but I have several ideas.”

The prompt was from this list. I'm not expecting any more prompts from this one, but if there's one you really want me to try please ask! (and specify the prompt list).

[littlemessyjessi]

“Not My Bias”: Park Jimin Imagine: Plus Size Reader

Park Jimin Imagine Summary: Jimin is upset because he is not the chosen bias of his girlfriend but instead it's actually Namjoon.   A/N: Also, this is just an imagine, a oneshot if you will.  However, if you want to see more of the story, just let me know.   Extra: Plus Size.  Also, woman is older than the man by a few years. Pre-established relationship, Jimin is dating an Army, ft Platonic moments with Yoongi.   Warning: Fluff, Angst, mentions of suicide and issues with mental health, arguing, jealously... teeeeennnnnnsssssiiiooonn.   Anyway, yeah. ----

Flared nostrils and a deep breath.

'He's just having a day.  Let it go.  He's just in a mood.'

The thought swirled around in that head like smoke.

"Babe, you were all over him.  I don't know how you can think that's ok? If I had done that to someone you would've flipped out!" Jimin's voice sounded.

Regardless of the fact that Jimin was continuously all over people because he was very affectionate and naturally flirty.  

Also, regardless of the fact that he literally had millions of people ready to volunteer like Katniss for the Hunger Games at the drop of a hat.

Regardless of the fact that it was very much clear as to how much he was loved and adored by his partner.

Still.

'Don't snap.  Don't lash out.  Just let it go.'

The thought swirled less like smoke and more like the unstable circle of terror that was the beginnings of a hurricane.

"I mean, fuck, you might as well just be with him.  You were practically eye fucking him right in front of me."

Stone cold.

Every thought brewing in that mind was screaming to let it go, to talk to him calmly, to just fix it.

But that's not what happened.

Because even though Jimin was clearly feeling insecure and it had turned into jealously... you had feelings too.

You slowly turned to look at him.

Jimin's gaze was hard as he looked back.

He had that about him where one second he could be cute and adorable and the next he could be very intimidating.

However, his duality was no match for yours in that moment.

"Jimin, you've got about three seconds to apologize." you said evenly.

"Apologize?" He scoffed.  "For what? Apologize for calling the bullshit when I see my girlfriend trying to fuck one of my best friends right in front of me?"

That was it.

You had a long fuse on a big bomb and right now... you weren't just a stick of dynamite.

You were a nuclear bomb.

You ran your tongue over your teeth trying in vain to calm down.

"First of all, fuck you." you snapped and his brows lifted on his forehead.  "Yeah I said it.  Don't you ever insinuate that I am anything less to faithful to you.  God dammit, Jimin.  I didn't want to have a fucking fight with you but since you seem so hell bent on it, let's go.  It's time for war, mother fucker."

His gaze intensified at your response, "Don't you talk to me like -"

"Me?!" you snapped. "You want to talk about me? You're the one who stood right there, basically called me a whore and accused me of fucking your friend! Who by the way, you owe a god damn apology to! He didn't do anything to you and you've been a dick the whole day!"

It was the wrong thing to say and you knew it.

Bringing up Namjoon during a fight, especially considering the context was the worse thing you could've done.

It further ignited his anger and his jealously all but consumed him.

But you didn't care.

He may have started the fire but you brought the gasoline.

"That's just great, Y/N.  Wonderful.   Exactly the way to convince your boyfriend that you're not fucking someone else.  Defending them in the middle of an argument."

Your screaming had clearly drawn attention and the door opened to reveal Jin's concerned face.

He said something but the two of you were too far gone in trying to outscream each other to hear him.

"That you started!" you snapped at Jimin.

"I was trying to talk to you!"

"You were accusing me!"

"Because it was obvious!"

You were shaking when Yoongi's head popped in beside Jin's but you paid them no mind even when Hobi appeared in the doorway.

"Guys, come on." Hobi said trying to calm you both down.  "Don't do this."

"Come on. Let's go get some food and chill out." Jin offered, knowing very well how Jimin's temper could be and also how he could say some horrible things when he really didn't mean them.

He had a sinking feeling that they'd already been said though and there wasn't much that could be done.

"What was so obvious to you, Jimin? Hm? I am a fan.  You know this? I was an Army before I ever met you.  This was abundantly clear to you from the beginning.  Did you really think that there would never be moments when I wouldn't be starstruck occasionally?" you seethed. "Because I'm sorry I'm not perfect Park fucking Jimin! I'm human!"

His jaw tightened and he narrowed his eyes at you.

"That's not what this is about." he said.

"Yeah, the fuck, it is." you snapped.  "Listen, I'm about to make myself abundantly clear about something.  You don't fucking know me as well as you seem to think you do."

"Clearly." he responded and you had to fight the urge not to strangle him.

Yoongi almost rolled his eyes at Jimin and his fucking mouth.

The rest of the members had joined the chaos at this point and you... you just no longer cared.

You were ready to go to war.

Fuck it all.

You drew a deep breath in through your nose, staring at the carpet before lifting your eyes up to Jimin's again.

"You seem to think that you have me completely figured out and you know everything about me.  But you don't know shit, Jimin.  Just because we've been dating for three months does not mean that you suddenly know every thought in my head.  But you're about to find some shit out about me right now."

"You're right. I don't know wh-"

"Shut the fuck up." you said coldly.  "You want to know so god damn badly why Namjoon is my bias?  Fine, I'll tell you and you can either deal with it or you can continue to be a spoiled, selfish little brat.  I don't really care anymore."

He would've fought you for calling him that but internally something stopped him.

"I was never into this type of music.  It wasn't my thing.  I listened to metal and classic rock.  That was what I liked.   So BTS was never really in my statosphere.  But a few years ago, I was at my lowest. My husband had cheated on me leading me to file for an immediate divorce.  I had just lost our baby and I was wrecked.   I didn't want to do it anymore.  So let me paint you a picture here, Jimin.  I was standing in my childhood bedroom because I couldn't bare to be in that house where he fucked his secretary.   I'm standing there in front of my little vanity from when I was a kid and I had my grandpa's pistol loaded, the barrel in my mouth.  My finger was on the trigger and I started to press down."

Jimin, all with everyone else, had gone completely pale.

"And then suddenly my cousin's stereo starts thudding from the other side of the wall.  And it's "Voice" from Joon's first mixtape and I stopped.  Because for the first time in a long time, I felt like someone understood what I was going through.   I put the gun down and I saw there on the floor with my ear pressed against the wall listening to that song.  I cried until I couldn't breathe because no one had ever put my feelings into words like that before.  That song.  Those lyrics.  They saved me.   I put the gun away as if it had burned me,  I cried because I had been so close to ending it all over someone else who wasn't worth it.  I went home that night, researched the lyrics and figured out who wrote them and then I began listening to anything and everything that Namjoon had a hand in creating.  Because it was those words that kicked me back off the ledge."

Jimin was completely still at this point.

No movement.

No sound.

No nothing.

You were staring straight into his soul in that moment.

"So you'll have to excuse me if ever so often I get a little starstruck with the person who literally wrote the wrong that kept me from killing myself." you said lowly.

You finally looked around to see the rest of the members there, skin heating with embarassment that they'd just watched you and Jimin verbally rip each other's throats out and then hear your suicide attempt story.

You looked at Jimin once more before you shook your head and pushed your way through the members.

Several tried to comfort you but you didn't want to hear it.  

You just wanted out.

And that was exactly what you did, shoving through the door and disappearing from sight.

Immediately, upon the slam of the door, Jimin erupted into tears, crashing to the ground.

He hadn't known any of that.

Taehyung rushed to his side, pulling him into his arms and trying to calm him down enough to function.

Yoongi pursed his lips before going after you.

He knew what it was like to pick at old scars like that and how fresh those old wounds could still be.

He caught up to you rather easily, insisting that you let him take you out to eat.

You fought him on it but he did something that he rarely ever did.

He pulled out his super power on you and used his cuteness.

And you couldn't resist the lil meow meow so you caved... just like he knew you would.

You didn't mind it as much as you thought you would.

Yoongi didn't push you and instead the two of just enjoyed a meal together.

You fought him over the check but he already slipped the waitress his card before you could even get a word in edgewise.

Then he took you to a local dog park, watching puppies chase their own tails because he knew it was impossible to watch dogs smack into each other and not smile.

He didn't force you to talk or to address what had just happened.

But what he did do was stay with you, offer you kindness, made sure you ate and did something that made you smile.

He reached out to place his hand on yours and gave it a squeeze.

"I won't pretend that I know what you've been through.  I'm not that arrogant and I'm not you.  But I do understand what it's like to get to a point where you don't want to do it anymore." he said as the two of you focused on a pomeranian with an attitude problem who reminded you both of Yeontan.

"You can talk to me.  Anytime." he said.  "I know I don't usually say alot but I'll listen. I promise."

"Thanks, Yoongi.  I'm fine.  I promise.  I'm alot better now.  I'm not the person I used to be.   Things are different.  Jimin just really hit a nerve with what he was saying and I snapped." you explained.

He nodded with a sigh.

"Jimin is someone who is full of emotion.  He's passionate.  That sometimes means that he loses his temper when he's scared.  He loves you and he's more insecure about losing you than he lets on.   He didn't express that in the right way at all.  I won't defend him on that.  I'm just saying, don't give up just because you two had a fight.  A hell of one, mind you.  Do you realize that you're terrifying when you're angry?"

You finally broke into a laugh at his words.

"I thought Jimin was the scary one." you commented, knowing very well that every single one of them collectively thought Jimin was terrifying when he was really angry.

"Shit, he's a punk compared to you." Yoongi chuckled. "You looked like an absolute demon.  If I hadn't seen it for myself, I'd have never believed sweet Y/N looked like she was forged in the fires of hell."

You nearly snorted at his response before finally looking over at him.

"Thanks, Yoongi.  Really.  You made me feel a lot better." you admitted. "I'm glad you came after me.  This was much better than how I likely would've handled it."

"How would you have handled it?" he questioned.

"Probably something self sabotaging and toxic as hell." you shrugged. "Or maybe I just would've cried when I cooled off.  Or took off.  I've been known to jump in the car and just keep driving when I'm angry.  It's literally me running from my problems but for the lazy because fuck that.  I'm not running from anybody.  Zombies can just eat this ass."

He shook with laughter.

It was one of the reasons he liked you a lot and he thought you were perfect for Jimin.

You were naturally funny and had a great wit about you... and you were tough.  

You needed to be tough if you were going to date someone who worked in the business they did.

You don't fall in love with the idol, you fall for the person.... but that person still has a job and to be their partner is really hard.

It wasn't for the weak of heart.

The two of you sat there for a while.

You'd turned your phone off almost instantly as soon as you cleared the building, not even entertaining the thought of dealing with any questions.

You assumed that Yoongi had likely told someone he was with you since he'd been with you for hours and no one was calling him.

You took in his profile as he watched a squirrel run up a tree.

You could practically see him thinking.

"Just spit it out." you sighed and his lips quirked just a little before looking at you.

"What makes you think I have something to say?" he questioned.

"Because, unfortunately, we are too much alike in some ways." you said.  

He chuckled, "All I'm going to say is, cut Jimin some slack.   He's crazy about you.   Anyone can see that.   And also, give him a chance to digest everything you just told him today.  That was a lot.   You know that better than anyone."

"I didn't mean to tell him like that." you shrugged. "I didn't mean to tell him that at all."

"Why not?" Yoongi asked, very seriously.  "You love Jimin right?"

"Yeah, of course." you said.

"And you trust him?" he said.

"Yeaaahhh." you said.

"Then how come you haven't talked to him about that before?" he asked.

"Because we've only been together for three months, Yoongi and we haven't spent a ton of time with one another in those three months. You don't just blurt your past suicide attempts out to people like that." you all but snapped.

You were getting defensive and he knew it.

But Yoongi also knew that you were only being like that because he'd hit a nerve.

He knew because he was like that at times.

"You were friends before you got together." he pointed out. "I know you're an Army. I get it.  But you and Jimin clicked at that fan event that day.  Don't get me wrongs.  He's a hopeless flirt but Jimin has never willingly forked over his phone number like that.   He didn't even know your name and he was hooked."

You ground your teeth because you knew he was right.

"All I'm saying is, give him a chance.  He's jealous of Joon.  He can't help it.  A part of him wants to be your bias because he's your boyfriend.  I can get that." Yoongi shrugged.

"It's not like Joon is my bias is a romantic way, Yoongi." you sighed.  "I literally just -"

"I know." Yoongi cut you off.  "I know.  I get it.  Trust me.  We are all painfully aware of that situation now."

You chewed on your lip, vulnerable at having your business out there like that.

"Hey." he said reaching for your hand.  "I didn't meant that to come off the way it did.  I'm glad we know.  I wish you hadn't felt like you were so backed into the corner that you had to come out with it like that.  But still, it's good to know that about you.   I think it'll bring us closer as a group."

You just nodded.

He sighed, "Listen, I'm gonna tell you something that I think we'll help.   Men are rather simple in a lot of ways.  Some not so much but others- incredibly so."

You lifted a brow at him.

"Ok?"

"Explain that Joon's work inspires you and it helped you through a lot." he said.

"I literally just-"

"No, stop and listen to me." he cut you off.  "Explain that you admire Namjoon and his work. You love his writing.   This is also true for me or Hobi right?  You and I have talked for hours about some of my stuff and I know you and Hobi sat there and dissected Hope World for like three days.   You admire the work, the lyrics, the content, right?"

"Well, yeah, but-"

"I know that it's a little different with Joon because his song was the first one you'd heard and it was a rather traumatic time.  So there's somewhat of an emotional attachment there.  And honestly, I think that's what Jimin is so scared of." he said.

"Scared of what?  It's music and yeah, I love the way Joon writes and yeah it was a crazy time but I'm in love with Jimin." you argued.

"Jimin is scared that Namjoon could take you away from him." Yoongi said directly.  

"What?" you gasped. "But I love Jimin."

"I know that." Yoongi said.  "Everyone knows that. But he also knows how much you obsess over anything Joon writes."

"It's good music." you said.

Yoongi nodded, "Yeah, it is.  But Jimin has likely got it in his head that you could easily just run off with Joon and have this philosophical conversations about poetry and lyrics.  I'd be willing to be money on it that he's insecure because you didn't start out loving BTS, you started out loving RM.   And that scares him."

"It was never about loving RM or BTS." you countered. "I needed those lyrics.  I liked RM as a musician.  I liked BTS as a group.  But I fell in love with Jimin.  And I'll tell you another god damn thing, I never fucking meant to either! I didn't want to love anyone after that shit happened!"

Your temper was flaring, which truthfully was dangerous, as Yoongi could match you in it.

But he also realized you were just very sensitive right now and not actually angry so he just watched you calmly.

"I didn't want to fall in love with anyone.  Ever again, Yoongi.  I was terrified.  I'm still terrified.  But I met Jimin and he fucking smiled at me and I crumbled.  It wasn't really about me falling in love with him.  I jumped head first into the darkness because even though it scared me shitless, I didn't care.  He's worth it.  No matter what."

You didn't realize that you'd gotten to your feet until Yoongi was smiling at you and he gently nodded over your shoulder.

You turned around and there he was.  

Of course.

Jimin.

With his expressive dark eyes and his dreamy lips.

As cliche as it is, it was almost as if time stopped.

There was nothing else but Jimin and you.

It became a race to get to one another and as soon as you got within arms reach of each other, your kisses were feverent.

"I'm sorry's" and "No I'm sorry" and "You didn't do anything wrong"  "I was just jealous" "No, no, no"

They all clanged together in a jumbled mess of mutterings slurred with kisses.

"Joon is not my bias, Jimin." you breathed.

"Baby, it's fine.  It's not a big deal.  I just got a little -"

"No, listen." you breathed.  "He's not.  I admire him.  I admire his work.  But he's not my bias.  I don't have a bias."

Jimin pulled back to look at you, "What?"

"I don't have a bias." you clarified.  "I don't pick favorites."

"Uh..." he said.

"I don't have a bias." you repeated. "But I do have something else.  Something super special."

"What's that?" he asked, brows furrowed.

"A keeper." you said.

"A keeper?" he asked.

"Yep, the keeper of my heart.  Only one person can be that and that's you."

It was cheesy.

Ridiculously so.

But Jimin melted for you and he squeezed your soft body to his so tightly that you could barely breathe.

And all the while, Min Yoongi sat on that park bench, watching the scene from the corner of his eye, a smirk tugging at his lips.

Smug grin ever permanent on his impish features.

"Lil Meow Meow strikes again..." he whispered to himself.

------

—-

Hey loves!

I hope you enjoyed and I’d love to hear your thoughts!

If you’re interested in any of my other BTS works you can find the masterlist HERE

Love,

Mama Kennysaurus

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[kariachi]

Quick fic.

Formal First Contact is coming.

~~

It was amazing how nothing ever changed. Aliens had been living on Earth for ages, had been publicly known to be living on Earth for a few years now, Earth’s greatest hero and champion was a public figure who shapeshifted into aliens, the Incursean Invasion had been a thing, and yet still the news of formal first contact being on the calendar had people losing their minds.

Already Kevin’d had to threaten several companies and everyone who worked for them with slow, painful deaths over ‘Ossy-themed’ goods that went past ‘corny’ and into ‘rude’, ‘appropriative’, and/or ‘actual fraud’.

On the plus side, everybody who was anybody knew not to use the Imperial Clan’s colors for any old random crap now.

“What I want to know,” Ben said as the team sat on his couch, watching four people argue about whether or not this whole mess was going to end in the destruction of Earth (“Only if the locals fuck up really badly”), “is why the Osmosian Empire is doing this in the first place. I mean, is first contact even really necessary at this point? And I know Kevin, Alan, and the lot are some of their royals but that doesn’t seem like reason enough for this?”

“According to Graci,” Kevin said, “there’s a bunch of reasons. Nobody’s invited Earth to take their legally protected seats in the Galactic Council, and the Empire makes it a point to ensure those invitations are extended and that full capability to attend is made possible.”

“The Osmosian Empire is known for that,” Rook interjected, “I had almost forgotten.”

“I thought they were known for their military power?” Flashing a grin, Kevin patted Gwendolyn’s shoulder.

“We’re a people of many facets. On top of that though, this is one hundred percent a power play.”

“I’m sorry,” Gwendolyn said as they all stared at him, “inviting Earth to join the Galactic Council is a power play? How does that even work?” Kevin snorted.

“You’ve gotta pull back a bit to see it. Plumbers have been on this planet for over two-hundred years, no one has bothered to make formal first contact- and don’t say it was about a lack of tech level it was purely motivated by greed and apathy. Ben is the Great Thinker’s biggest and favorite asset, the Galvans haven’t formally made first contact. So much shit has happened these past few years and nobody, until now, has bothered. Add on to that that it’s considered only good manners to invite new species onto the Galactic Council as soon as possible?”

“This gives the Empire the moral high ground over other governments,” Rook said, connecting dots as Kevin nodded.

“More than that- Azmuth made contact with Earth ages ago, he should’ve done all this. The Galvans should have done all this. The only reason the Empire didn’t was because nobody was bothering Earth and it seemed like the Galvans had claim on the job. But now that it’s clear they have no intention of doing right by Earth, the Empire can sweep in, resolidify their position as the people who’ll make sure species are done right by, and show up the Galvans by openly and actively doing the job everyone knows they should’ve done. Plus, all anybody really knows about Earth is that it’s Ben 10’s homeworld, which’ll only bolster the Empire’s standing. Especially as more people realize I’m part of the Imperial Clan, it makes it look like they’ve got ties to you.”

“Which technically they do through you and Alan,” Ben added.

“Exactly. And the little cherry on top, it gets the Empire in good with a newcomer on the galactic stage, which may come in handy if they need people on their side for a Council vote, or if Earth ever becomes something worth allying or trading with.”

“If?” Gwendolyn asked with a stern look that in no way phased Kevin.

“We’re a backwoods mudball, G, besides the opportunity to show up the other top dogs we’ve got nothing the Empire wants.”

[geminioriginalsimagines]

Dirty Secret

Requests: “91 and 99 with Enzo from the prompt list please?”

“Y/N...please just give Enzo some time. He’ll text you when he’s ready.” Damon argued on the other line. “Don’t roll your eyes either young lady I know you did.” That’s exactly what she did. “Look he’s going through a rough patch right now and it’s not really my business to tell. He’ll tell you when he’s ready. But he did tell me to tell you he loves you very much.”

“Wait...Damon please...” She begged and covered her eyes with her hand. “Just wait a second...”

“Mhmm bye bye now.” And like that she was off the phone. Wow. Damon hung up on her. She’s really going to slap him next time she sees him. Regardless she had to grab her keys and get ready for her last day of school before summer vacation. She smoothed down her sun dress and smiled in the mirror, flipping her beautiful long hair over her shoulder and fixing the strap of her bag over her shoulder and bouncing down the stairs, out the front door and to her car.

The ride to school felt like it was a long one but in reality it was only ten minutes. This last day of school was supposed to be the best. She was going to take her last final, say goodbye to her friends and favorite teachers and then Enzo was going to bring her to dinner as a congratulations to moving up to her senior year the next coming fall. 

But he wasn’t talking to her. Yes it hurt and yes it had been a whole four days since she had saw him last. And that was only for a brief five minutes where she had to pick up her clothes she left in the Salvatore’s house when she stayed with them for the weekend. She didn’t take his absence personally but figured it could have been something to do with the both of them as a whole. 

Damon Salvatore and Stefan Salvatore were like her older brothers and they had introduced the both of them at a party they hosted for Elena and Caroline. Bonnie couldn’t make it for some odd reason and originally she was just going to hook up with Kai just because he’s insanely attractive and was staring at her the whole night from the dessert table. But then Enzo came along with the brothers and his accent melted her heart and he charmed his way into scoring her as his girlfriend. That was already a whole year ago. 

Y/N put her car in park in her parking space and grabbed her bag and keys, making her way to her only class of the day. Every body seemed so happy, there were footballs being thrown across the front lawn of the school, girls cheering and giggling, guys laughing and punching at each other. All the while Y/N climbed the stairs to the front of the school and made her way to her locker to start cleaning it out before the first bell rang. 

The main hallway was crowded, nobody really cared or knew where they were going. Until a smaller crowd cleared in front of her locker she was headed to and Enzo was standing by her locker. Nobody seemed to notice him and he looked normal. Like there was nothing wrong at all. She made her way to him and now she realized just how agitated she was with him. “Well good morning Gorgeous.” He complimented but she just stared up at him waiting for an explanation. 

There was a silence between the both of them until he spoke again. “There was no excuse for my absence Y/N. I apologize, I needed time away and...”

“Let’s not do this here. Please.” She whispered. The bell rang and kids were pushing by to get to their first class. In just a few moments they had the hallway to themselves. “I do want to talk about it-” She unlocked her locker and grabbed her textbooks to turn in. “But I have a last day to get to and an exam to take. And all of a sudden my boyfriend wants to be my boyfriend again.” 

She slammed the locker shut. Enzo gently grabbed her arm, his hands were ice cold. Instead of sparks like normal she just felt frozen on the spot. She ripped her arm away. That had never happened before. “What the hell was that Enzo?” 

He clapped his hands together, pressing the palms close and then ran one hand through his hair. “Love, look...if you’ll let me explain...”

“Enzo really...you ignored me for four whole days. I’m pretty sure your explanation can wait two hours.” She didn’t mean to sound harsh and she didn’t even think she was this upset about it until she saw him for the first time in four days. 

Now she was just expressing her disappointment. Enzo chuckled as she tried to brush by but he slapped his hand against the locker door. Y/N’s eyes widened and she jumped. He realized he may have scared her some and removed his hand from the locker, and they both noticed the dent his hand had left before. “What the hell is the matter Enzo. You’re different.” She backed away from him slowly. 

Enzo stepped toward her. “Love...there’s nothing different. I’m still me. It’s me, Enzo.” He reassured her and tried to grab for her arms again to caress her. But she remembered the cold chill he’d inflicted on her and she pulled away just before he could touch her. 

“Look, I get out in two hours. Okay? We can go right to lunch and you can explain to me what happened...if you’re acting like this because I sounded rude that’s not what I had in mind.” She tried to brush by again but this time he stepped in her way. “Enzo...”

“Y/N it’s a silly test.” 

“Enzo...it’s to help me pass so I can get to senior year. We’ve already had this discussion.” She says and Enzo huffs. “Okay look I’m not arguing so let me get to class-” 

“I’ve been going against a lot of rules dear, all to make sure I could come see you today.” He grumbled, walking at her and matching her steps as she walked backward away from him. “So many rules.” He whispered to her. 

Y/N’s back hit a locker and she peered up at Enzo who was towering over her. “W-what rules? I-”

“It’s been a rough four days Lovey and I’m not supposed to be here until I’m all better.” His hand was shaking as he reached up and placed his ice cold hand on her neck. She flinched away from his cold hand. “I can assure you I’m not better but I just had to see my girl.”

“Enzo you’re scaring me.” And just like that Enzo retracted his hand away from her neck and they just stared at each other. He looked down at his finger tips where they had just traced her carotid artery just under her perfect, smooth flesh on her neck. How satisfying it’d be to bite into...how warm the skin is and how warm the blood was that flows underneath, just into the vein. If he punctured it right, he could control that blood flow. Damon taught him that years ago. 

The thought of the warm blood trickling down his throat made his stomach twirl, his face was warm and his gums were throbbing. “Why do your eyes look like that?” Enzo looked up and realized he was seeing red. Y/N pressed herself up against the locker further. Enzo opened his mouth to say something, instead tiny daggers freed themselves from his gums and the network of patterns crawling under his eyes almost distracted her from the fact his eyes were a dark red. 

She held a hand to her mouth to keep herself from screaming and she felt like she was about to faint. Her legs buckled and Enzo caught her before she hit the ground. Her books and bag fell with several loud bangs. Her breathing was heavy, its all she heard instead of Enzo assuring her to breathe and when she looked up he was normal again. His eyes were the beautiful brown she fell in love with and his face was the smooth, perfect skin she was familiar with. And his teeth were straight and pearly white, definitely no fangs to be found. 

She was wrapped in Damon’s fuzzy blanket, sitting in front of the fireplace thinking about everything. Questioning herself, questioning her friends. But there were no tears. Not yet. The fire burned, crackling in front of her and she could feel the warmth heating up her face. That was until somebody was standing in front of her. When she looked up it was Damon. He handed her a cup of water and didn’t say much. 

He took a seat on the ottoman next to her and stared into the flames with her. “He thinks you hate him.” He said quietly. Y/N could never hate Enzo, even though she should now. “I know you don’t. But I think he needs to hear it from you.” Damon looked over and waited. For any kind of response. 

Y/N finally looked over and Damon could see the emotion on her face. It was all hitting at once. “Those people that die? That are killed? Who did that Damon.” It wasn’t even a question. “Did Enzo do that?” 

“You know Enzo hasn’t made a kill since he’s met you.” He admits quietly.

“Is that supposed to make it better Damon?!” She shouted. “None of this is okay! And you guys couldn’t even have told me sooner! I thought we were closer than that?!” Here come the water works. To her right Stefan took a seat next to her with his head low. 

“I’m sorry Y/N.” Damon fixed his jaw. “I don’t know what else to say.” 

“There’s nothing else to say. It turns out that the people who I thought were my second family...I don’t even know them.” She choked. “I don’t know any of you people.” 

Stefan sighed. “Well of course you do.” He caressed her hair. “We’re a family...”

“You all have had so many life times to change yourselves. I don’t know any of you.” She sniffled. 

Stefan pulled her close. Enzo watched from a distance with his head resting against the door frame of the parlor. Caroline and Elena joined in and watched as the brothers did their best to ease their friend’s mind. “That’s the thing Y/N. No matter how hard we try to change ourselves our old lives come flooding right back in. The Enzo you know is the Enzo we know.” Stefan whispered but the vampires watching in the distance heard it loud and clear.

“Stef, maybe we should give them privacy.” Damon stood and Stefan kissed Y/N’s forehead before leaving her alone. Or so she thought. As quickly as the brothers left Enzo appeared and took Stefan’s place. The crowd was gone and it was just the both of them left with raw emotion. 

“What happened...in those four days.” Y/N hissed. “That you had to stay away from me?” 

Enzo steepled his fingers under his chin. “I lost control.” He answered simply. “I almost killed somebody for the first time in a year and I knew if I did I wouldn’t be able to look at you ever again without my guilt eating me alive.” 

Y/N sucked in a sharp breath of air. “So vampires feel guilt?” 

“So much that we sometimes have to shut it off.” He said quietly. “It’s like a switch and when we flip it there is no more pain. No more suffering.” 

She shifted and made the first move to look over at him. “What else can you do?” 

Enzo thought for a long second and then looked over at her. She was so vulnerable, so helpless and scared. Yet so beautiful. “We can control minds. If you’re trying to get at killing, we don’t have to kill to stay alive. I’ve been using blood bags from the hospital...” 

“Have you ever wanted to...”

“No.” He answered quickly. “I have never wanted to hurt you, Y/N. Seeing you like this...” He ran a hand through his hair. “It’s killing me to see you this way.” 

There was a silence. “I’d like to be alone.” She whispered and Enzo paused, and said no more and left her alone in the parlor. She cried and hugged the fuzzy blanket closer to her body and felt the fire warm her face once more.

Y/N rolled over when her alarm clock was ringing like mad in her ear and slapped the top of it to turn it off. She stared at the ceiling. Her first week into her summer break and she was feeling down. She wrapped her blanket around her shoulders and made her way to the bathroom. She stared at herself in the mirror and to be honest she felt and looked like trash. 

She hadn’t talked to any of the Salvatores, or Enzo, even Caroline and Elena or Bonnie in a whole week. The thought of Enzo being alone made her stomach turn. This wasn’t easy on the both of them and she knew that. But how could she face him when she made it clear to him he was dangerous? 

He begged her not to walk out that night. But she did. She left him and whether he cried or not afterward was on him. Or maybe he had to turn off his humanity like he explained? Did she mean enough to him for him to feel like he could? 

Y/N made her way downstairs and rummaged through her fridge. A knock on the door interrupted her and she rolled her eyes. The sun shined through the door and it was too bright for her liking. When she opened the door, Caroline stood there with a bag in her hand and a huge smile on her face. 

“I know you said you didn’t want to see any of us right now but I don’t care. A friend is still a friend and honey you need a whole makeover.” She glanced down at Y/N’s un-shaved legs and tried her best not to comment. “And um when was the last time you used your shower?” 

Y/N rolled her eyes and began to close the door. “Goodbye Caroline...” But Caroline pushed the door open and made her way through the house. “Right...” She watched the blonde put her bags down on the dining room table. “I forgot...you’re all invited in so even if I want to ignore you I can’t.” She made her way to the table where Caroline was setting up boxes. 

“What is all of this?” 

Caroline turned to her friend and was just so happy and giddy it made Y/N want to puke. “I brought my makeup kit, a uh...super good razor for those legs and I’m sure those armpits need it too, I bought you a new outfit. And Ben and Jerry’s ice cream just in case we need a good cry today I will eat this with you.” 

Y/N almost cracked a smile. “A good cry? For what?” 

Caroline giggled. “If I’m giving you a makeover and you have that attitude? Please. And if you start talking about Enzo while I’m doing so...yeah we’ll need the ice cream.” She un-packaged the ice cream pints and shoved them in the freezer. 

“Okay...what’s the occasion?” She asked while looking through the bags. 

“Puh-lease, Y/N. Anyone knows you’ve been locked away in this house for the past week thinking about Enzo. God knows he hasn’t come out of his bedroom since you walked out on him. Stefan says he won’t even take a blood bag. And that’s a new record. Trust me he’s never one to turn food down.” Y/N swallowed the lump in her throat. “So I’m going to make you smoking hot again, and you’re going to face your man. Makeup with him or make out.” She winked. 

“How are you so positive about all of this?” 

Caroline’s look became serious. “When I first turned into a vampire...it was really hard. Bonnie wouldn’t even look at me. Damon wanted to kill me and Stefan and Elena were the only ones who stood up for me. My mother found out, she couldn’t take it so we had to compel her to forget just so she would talk to me.” Y/N looked at the ground. 

“So you know what it’s like when people walk out on you because you’re different...” Y/N concluded. 

Caroline nodded. “I’m not telling you you don’t have to remember everything that’s happened since Enzo came to town or when you started putting two and two together. But Y/N you have a good man and he loves you so much. He’s still the same Enzo you fell in love with. I mean does him being a vampire really change anything in your heart at all?” The way Caroline held her hands made her feel safe and comforted. 

Y/N sighed. Caroline was right. “Make me hot again.” She grinned and Caroline responded with an eager clap of her hands. 

Y/N took it upon herself to find Damon’s hidden freezer of blood in the basement as a peace offering to Enzo. She never expected ever in her life she’d have to hold a blood bag and here she is in front of his door, waiting to knock. She smoothed her blouse out and tucked her hair behind her ear. How could this be so nerve wracking? Since she was the one who basically cut it off? 

She swallowed her heart back down and made three knocks. “Currently dying. Be with you in a jiffy.” Sounded from inside. Y/N pushed the door open and Enzo was found inside, laying on his back across his bed. His eyes were closed. “Typically that means go away...” He paused and then opened his eyes and glanced at the door. Y/N quietly closed the door behind her and waited for a greeting. Or any kind of response to her presence. 

Enzo couldn’t believe how beautiful she looked. Did she not care at all? “I came to talk.” She admitted softly. “About everything. About you, about us, about what I said.” She swallows the lump in her throat. “But you have to understand that the way I found out...” They look at each other for a split second. “Enzo I love you. Okay? I love you.”

His heart flipped in his chest only she couldn’t hear what she did to him. The corner of his mouth lifted with a half smile. “I’ve thought it over…I want to be with you still. You being a vampire doesn’t change how I feel about you.” She finally admits. His ears perk up. “I thought this only happens in shows or really bad movies...” She trails off and hides her blush and smile with her hands on her forehead. Enzo sits up and crookedly smiles at her. 

“Don’t say anything else.” He whispers and when she uncovers her face he’s in front of her. Right, she forgot they can move silently and quickly. Now she looks up at him and Enzo places both hands on her neck. His touch was warm as opposed to his ice cold skin a week ago. 

He pulls her close and locks their lips together quickly and passionately. Y/N was the first to break away and clenched Enzo’s shirt in his fists. “I’m totally going to ruin the moment.” She whispers and he searches her face with amusement. 

“You’re still weary?” He asks. Y/N’s silence confirmed his thoughts and she closed her eyes. She had gotten so lost in their kiss that she forgot everything she was upset about and everything that he was. 

“I trust you Enzo. I do but I still can’t forget everything that’s happened in town. My friends lied to me.” She reasons. He nods after listening and thinks of what to say to her next but nothing comes. She is justified to be upset with them, especially him. “Everything that I feel for you is magnified now and I want to be with you more than ever. But it’s the lying I can’t take anymore. Do you have any idea what it’s like to be friends with somebody for so long and then find out they’re not who you thought they were?” 

He nods down to her. “I understand. Listen, Love, at the time it was your best interest to keep you out. If you are exposed to this there are risks...risks that I wasn’t willing to take.” 

“And what exactly is that?” She clutches his shirt tighter. Enzo tucks a strand of hair behind her ear and cups her cheek gently. 

“Enemies flood in by the dozen, oftentimes many more.” He says. “They will stop at nothing to weaken us as a whole. And Y/N if they knew you knew about me, this, us they would harm you to hurt me.” 

Y/N could tell this was hard for him to say. And suddenly fear rose in her stomach and she felt butterflies. Enzo could hear her heart beat quicken and shook his head at her. “I won’t let that happen, Y/N you will never know harm while I am here.” He then reaches down and grabs her hand, locking their fingers together. “And I’d never hurt you myself. Your friends adore you, please as hard as it is to understand we just wanted you safe.” 

It was hard to understand. Especially for a human mind. She didn’t have the responsibility to make sure others were safe so her intentions were always simple. “I can learn to accept it.” She says. 

Enzo smiles at her and presses their foreheads together. “There is so much I want to show you and to tell you. I won’t hold back.” 

Y/N nods and closes her eyes again and melts into his chest. This was where she felt the safest. And to be honest it just felt normal again. Nothing changed the way she felt about him. “Tell me.” She says softly. Enzo wraps his other arm around her waist and carries her to his bed and wraps her in a fuzzy blanket and lays his head on his pillow at the same time she does. He tells his stories while caressing her cheek until she falls asleep, listening to his calming voice and feeling back at home in his arms where she belongs.

[specialagentsergio]

wish i were

summary: Emily’s back where she belongs, but she’s learning that you can’t come back from the dead the same as you were before. Spencer’s reeling from betrayal and broken trust. Then there’s you—their safe port in the storm. But you’re not okay either, and you have a choice to make.

pairing: spencer reid x f!reader (unrequited), emily prentiss x f!reader

category: angst

content warnings: lots of swearing, mentions of/implied sex, mentions of vomiting (nothing descriptive), fighting, negative feelings towards other team members, bittersweet ending

a/n: it’s finally here. thank you all for your patience. i wasn’t planning on posting angst and unrequited love on valentine’s day, but i don’t want to wait another day to post this; i’m kinda sick of looking at it tbh. anyways, i hope you enjoy it and it lives up to your expectations. sorry it’s so long. apparently i have a lot to say.

word count: 8.7k

series masterlist || masterlist

Ten weeks ago.

“Absolutely not,” Emily croaks out. Her voice is rough and broken from the breathing tube, and it hurts her throat to speak, but she ignores it. “No. I won’t do it.”

She can hardly believe what she’s hearing. She’s only been awake for a few hours and she’s already fed up with the bullshit the world is throwing at her. Right now, it’s in the form of her boss asking her to fake her own death. “You can’t seriously think this is an acceptable solution.”

Hotch is unreadable, his unit chief face firmly in place. “It’s for your own safety.”

Emily scoffs, then immediately winces at the pain that shoots through her midsection. But she continues. “So put me in a safe house or something. I’m not making my friends bury me.”

“It’s for their safety as well,” he replies. “Doyle’s still out there. He’s targeted them before. You know he’ll do it again to get to you if he finds out you’re alive.”

“Then let them in on this,” she argues. “They can keep a secret.”

His expression slips—just a little bit, but she sees it. It’s hesitance.

“Where’s (Y/N)?” she asks, a feeling of dread settling over her. “I want to see her. I’m not making a decision like this without her.”

Hotch folds his arms over his chest. “It’s not your decision to make, Emily,” he says quietly. “It’s already done.”

Her breath catches in her throat. She looks him up and down, searching desperately for any sign that he’s lying, that this is all just some cruel joke, that any second now you’ll be walking through the door, a smile on your face—

There are none.

Her lungs burn and she’s forced to take in a breath. “You son of a bitch,” she whispers. “You... son of a bitch. How dare you? How dare you.”

He doesn’t so much as flinch as her voice increases in volume, which only serves to make her angrier.

“How fucking dare you! You let me see (Y/N) right now, you bastard!”

The door opens—her heart leaps—

It’s JJ, who, if Hotch is to be believed, is the only other one to know about this. JJ hurries to her side and reaches out, but Emily yanks her arm away.

“Don’t fucking touch me,” she snarls. “You—” Her eyes land on the water pitcher on the table in front of her and she lunges forward, the searing pain it causes barely registering. She seizes it and throws it with all the force she can muster.

Hotch doesn’t move out of the way, letting it hit his chest and soak the front of his clothing. Its accompanying cup follows, then the TV remote. It’s not until she grabs the vase of flowers that he ducks out of the way. The glass shatters on the floor. All the while, she’s screaming obscenities at him.

JJ tries in vain to calm her down, holding up her hands placatingly. “Emily, please—”

“Don’t talk to me!” she yells. “You have the audacity to come in here and speak to me when you know I’m alive and my girlfriend doesn’t!”

“Emily!” Her voice is stern. “I understand you’re upset—”

“Don’t use your fucking mom voice on me, Jennifer, I’m not a fucking child—”

“What’s going on in here?” A pair of nurses enter the room, no doubt drawn by the commotion.

“She’s bleeding,” JJ answers immediately. “I think she might have aggravated something when she sat up.”

“She’s not supposed to be sitting up at all. What did you two do?” one of the nurses scolds.

“She just got some bad news—”

“Well, isn’t that a nice way to put it!” The nurses are trying to coax her into laying back down, but Emily resists it. “A really great way to describe the two of you trying to force me into letting my family and girlfriend think I’m dead!”

“I think some of the stitches tore,” the second nurse says.

“Go get the doctor,” the first one instructs an orderly standing in the doorway.

Movement catches Emily’s eye and she looks towards it to see Hotch taking a step backwards.

“Don’t you dare leave!” she screams. “I’m not done with you, you motherf—”

“Agent, please, you need to lie back.”

“And you two need to leave,” the older of the nurses says.

Then there’s a third person at her side. Judging by the white coat, it’s the doctor. “What’s the problem?” he asks them.

“She’s agitated and we think some stitches might have burst.”

“Damn right I’m agitated!” Emily cries. “They’re trying to—I—” She looks past the doctor to find that JJ and Hotch are gone.

“Emily, we’re going to give you something to help you relax,” he tells her.

Her vision goes blurry and she can’t figure out why until she feels the tears sliding down her cheeks. She lets the nurses push her back now and her head thumps against the pillow. “Please—” she chokes on a sob. “Please, I want to see my girlfriend.”

“What’s her name?” the doctor asks kindly.

“(Y/N). We’ve been together for almost a year. I need…” Her limbs are starting to feel heavy. “I need to call her, or—or something. She thinks… she thinks….”

“Shh, you’re okay,” one of the nurses soothes. “You’re going to be okay.”

Emily blinks slowly and shakes her head. “But she won’t be. She…”

The world fades to black.

---

There are tear stains on your pillowcase.

That’s the first thing Emily notices when she walks into your bedroom. She recognizes them so quickly because similar ones were on her pillows in Paris.

“Sorry, I’ve been meaning to run the sheets through the wash,” you say when you notice her looking.

“It’s okay, don’t worry about it.” She sets her bag on the bedside table, careful to jostle Sergio as little as possible. He’s in her arms, pressed against her chest and purring loudly. He definitely remembers her—she’d been a little worried that he wouldn’t.

Emily is absolutely exhausted. It has been a very long day. Doyle is dead, Declan is safe, and now all she wants to do is take a nice, hot shower and curl up in bed with you. But you haven’t been able to keep eye contact with her for more than a few moments at a time.

She expected something like this to happen. She knew once the relief of seeing her alive wore off, there was going to be a heap of more, uglier emotions surfacing.

“What’s wrong?” she asks.

You glance up at her just briefly, busying yourself with stripping off the pillowcases and replacing them with a clean set. “I don’t know what to say, Emily,” you sigh. “I just… I don’t.”

She strokes Sergio’s back a couple of times to calm herself before replying. “You can say anything. You’ve been through so much, and I… I’m not going to hold what you’re feeling against you.”

You shake your head. “I don’t want to say something I’ll regret.”

It confirms her suspicions. “(Y/N), you’re allowed to be mad at me,” she says. “Hell, you could even yell at me if you wanted to and I’d be okay with it.”

You snort. “I don’t want to yell at you. But, um, could I ask you a question?”

“Anything.”

“Okay. Well…” You shuffle from one foot to the other. “I’m… not really sure how to ask this, but, how… how did this happen?”

Your voice is hesitant. You’re holding back, but Emily can read between the lines. “You mean, how could I let you think I was dead?” she corrects softly.

You breathe in sharply and wrap your arms around yourself. Your eyes are wet when you look up at her and nod.

Emily tries not to let her next words come out too fast, lest it seem like she’s dismissing your feelings or making excuses. “I didn’t get a choice.” Her voice cracks and she clears her throat. “When I came to after surgery, the funeral had already been held.”

Your mouth drops open. You stare at her for a few seconds, then blink several times. Your eyes move around, focused on nothing in particular as you try to process what she’s just told you. Eventually, they settle on the bedroom door behind her. “I’m gonna punch his face,” you whisper.

Emily can’t stop the genuine laugh that bubbles out of her. “Yeah, Hotch heard similar things from me.”

“Oh my god, Em,” you breathe out, and her heart skips a beat at the nickname. “That must have been awful.”

“Yeah, it wasn’t fun,” she admits. “But at least I knew you were alive and that I’d see you again someday. It can’t come close to what you went through.”

You shake your head. “This isn’t the suffering Olympics. It was harder for you in some ways than it was for me, I’m sure. Like, if I was waking up after being stabbed, I’d want my girlfriend there holding my hand.”

Emily’s eyes prick with tears as she listens to you, remembering how it felt to be at the hospital without you there to hold her hand through all the scary bits. But you? You had buried her, and now you’re here considering how Emily had felt throughout all this. She’s not sure if you’re actively trying to make her fall even more in love with you, but if you are, you’re succeeding.

“I can’t promise to never be mad at you about this,” you continue, “but I’ll take being mad at you for actually being alive rather than being mad at you for dying.”

“That’s… really mature of you,” she observes.

“I started seeing a therapist a few days after the funeral,” you say with a shrug. “Can you put Sergio down and help me change the bed sheets?”

She nods and places him gently on the floor. She’s about to ask why you’re wanting to change them right now, when you’re clearly just as exhausted as she is, when she finds a tie wedged between the top and fitted sheets at the foot of the bed. She frowns as she lifts it up—it’s not one she recognizes as yours or hers, but she does think she’s seen it before.

“Oh, so that’s where that went,” you say.

“I don’t remember you having a tie like this. Is it new?”

“It’s Spencer’s,” you clarify.

“Oh. What… what’s it doing in your bed?” she asks hesitantly.

“He would stay over sometimes when I couldn’t sleep and he’s too long—“ you spread your hands apart “—for either of the couches.”

“I see.” Emily smooths out the wrinkles in the fabric and crosses the room to put it on top of the dresser, trying to tamp down the sting of jealousy. The other side of your bed is supposed to be hers.

“Nothing happened,” you say and she realizes she’s frowning.

“I know,” she replies, and she does—she just wishes it had been her in the bed with you. But you’ve at least given her a good lead-in for her surprise. “Anyways, you wouldn’t have even had the time with the amount of online Scrabble you were playing.”

Now it’s your turn to frown. “How do you know about that?”

The corner of her mouth turns up. “I was there for every game, sergio2010.”

It takes you a moment to put it together. “You’re cheetobreath?” you ask. “I thought that was JJ.”

“It was her idea,” Emily says. “And that’s what you were supposed to think.”

Your reaction delights her—you start laughing. “That’s ridiculous!”

“I had to stick it to Hotch somehow,” she defends, barely holding back her own laughter.

You shake your head fondly as you finish tucking in the fresh sheets. Emily helps you spread the comforter back over the bed and return the pillows to their spots. She isn’t sure what to do after that, though, and nervously clasps her hands in front of her. You’re silent for a few seconds, watching her from across the bed.

“I’m going to go take a shower,” you say eventually.

“Um, okay,” she replies. “But you know, I could go stay at a hotel instead if you’d prefer.”

You shake your head. “You’re gonna join me.”

“Ah.” Emily swallows, part nervous, part thrilled. “That’s… I mean, yeah. Okay.”

You hold out your hand in invitation; she circles the bed and takes it.

After, when you’re both clean and settled into bed, she pulls you as close to her as she can. “This is so nice,” you sigh into her skin. “You’re so soft, Em.”

Her eyebrows furrow. “Um, thank you?”

“Spencer’s bony,” you explain.

Emily snorts. “Yeah, I know. I fell asleep on his shoulder on the jet a few years ago and it was painful.”

You giggle. “Did you know he talks in his sleep?”

“Morgan’s mentioned it. You learn anything else when you were snuggled up with him?” she teases, running her fingers through your damp hair.

“It wasn’t like that,” you protest. “We didn’t snuggle. I’d just kind of… press my forehead on his arm and one leg against his.” Your voice lowers as you continue, “I just really missed being close to someone.”

“I did, too,” she whispers back. “I wish it had been me, but I’m glad you had him.”

You nod against her in agreement. “I love you, Emily,” you say, briefly tightening your grip on her.

“I love you, too,” she replies, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “So much.”

You drift off to sleep quickly, and she’s not far behind.

It’s the best sleep she’s had in months.

---

Spencer’s barely heard from you since the hearing last week.

He’d gotten plenty of texts from Jennifer (all of which he ignored), but only a few from you. That’s probably normal for most adult friends, but not for you two, especially so when the fact that you were the only two people not to apply for reinstatement to the BAU is taken into consideration. He thought that he’d be able to seriously talk about it with you, to share his feelings and maybe work it out together. But all he had gotten was a brief message:

Emily was reinstated, so I’m going back, too.

It left him frustrated, but when it came down to it, he understood—he was the same. Since you were going back, so was he.

On Monday morning, everyone’s first day back together, he gets off the elevator and is immediately confronted with the last person he wants to see.

“Hey, where have you been? I wanted to do brunch this weekend,” Jennifer says.

Spencer barely resists rolling his eyes, instead keeping them fixed on the file he’s holding. “I had to deal with some stuff with my mom.” It’s not a lie—he did have to check in with his mom. It just didn’t take as long as he’s implying. “Have you seen Garcia?”

“Uh, she’s with Rossi,” Jennifer answers, and she sounds startled by his behavior, but he doesn’t care. You’re at your desk, and as he passes by, he takes your arm.

“Wha—Spencer?” You’re taken aback, but you let him pull you along and into a file room.

“What?” you repeat when he turns to you after closing the door.

He tucks the file into his bag, the folds his arms over his chest. “I barely heard from you last week.”

Your eyebrows scrunch together. “Well, yeah, I’ve been busy,” you say. “Emily’s moving in with me so we’ve been taking her things out of storage and to my apartment to unpack.”

Spencer glances away, trying to ignore the stab of jealousy in his chest. Just two weeks ago, he was in your bed and he’s quickly been replaced. And sure, he knows you don’t feel that way about him, but it was easy to pretend you did when you were asleep right next to him. “Not busy enough to make a decision about work,” he points out.

“So?”

“You’re the only other one who didn’t apply for reinstatement to the unit,” he replies. “You’d think that would be something for us to talk about.”

“You never said you wanted to,” you say, giving him a little shrug.

He doesn’t resist the eye roll this time. Does Spencer know he’s being a bit unfair? Yes. Does he care? Not particularly. No one bothered to seriously check in with him last week. He wasn’t expecting everyone to, but he was expecting it from you. He’s only been at work for five minutes, but his emotions are already running high, and he doesn’t care to reign them in. “I didn’t think I’d have to.”

“You should’ve. I can’t read your mind.” Now you’re getting defensive. “And what does it matter, anyways? You’re not my boyfriend; I don’t have to run my decisions past you.”

“I know that,” he snaps. He really could have done without hearing you say that. “I’m just there to warm up your bed when you’re lonely is all, huh?”

You’re shocked for only a moment before pivoting to anger. “I didn’t make you do anything. You could’ve said no. And I certainly don’t owe you anything from it.”

“Clearly,” he mutters.

You heave an angry sigh. “Look, I know you’re mad about the whole thing, but don’t take it out on me. I don’t know why you’re so surprised that I wanted to spend the past week catching up with my girlfriend after thinking she was dead for ten weeks. If you wanted to talk, you should’ve said so. Stop being such an ass.”

Spencer doesn’t answer. You’re right, and he knows it, but that doesn’t mean he’s going to admit it. He just looks down at the floor, avoiding your glare.

When it becomes clear to you that he has no intention of responding, you mutter, “whatever” under your breath and duck behind him, walking out of the door and leaving him alone again.

---

The case has been miserable.

In rural Oklahoma, their unsub is burning his victims with acid. Not the worst they’ve seen, but not pleasant, either—this job never is.

You’re still mad at him, which is bad enough, but he’s also had to watch you be far more… touchy with Emily than you ever were before. It’s not super apparent—you still keep it professional at the local P.D. and when you’re out on work assignments, but you’re going out of your way to find any excuse to touch her that you can outside of that.

Then there’s the motel they’re staying at and its thin walls. He heard a few things last night from your room next door. It was quickly followed by shushes, but he heard enough to infer what was going on. So he’d dug his noise-canceling headphones out of his bag. It had been a good solution at the time, but then he’d fallen asleep with them on. As a result, he’d slept with his neck at an odd angle. It’s midday now and it’s still aching.

To top it all off, there’s Jennifer. He’s been trying to keep his distance from her, and had thought the snide remarks he hadn’t been able to hold back might encourage her to stay away. But she keeps pressing the issue, and when she tells him she thinks he’s mad about micro-expressions, he can’t hold it back anymore.

“You think it’s about my profiling skills? Jennifer, listen, the only reason you were able to manage my perceptions is because I trusted you. I came to your house for ten weeks in a row crying over losing a friend, and not once did you have the decency to tell me the truth.”

She protests, so he brings up Dilaudid. He knows it’s a low blow, and that she still feels guilty about them splitting up all those years ago, leading to his abduction and subsequent problem, but he doesn’t care. He just wants her to hurt like he is.

The team is staring and Emily says his name, but he just tells Jennifer that it’s too late to be sorry and leaves without another word.

Outside, he sits on the curb in front of one of the SUVs and presses the heels of his hands into his eyes, trying to calm himself down. He’s not alone for long, though. Just a few minutes later, he hears footsteps coming from behind him. The sound that involuntarily comes out of his throat can only be described as a growl.

“God, Jennifer, what do I have to do to get you to understand that I want you to leave me the fuck alone!” he nearly yells.

But it’s not Jennifer that answers. “It’s me,” you say softly.

Spencer sighs. He drops his hands from his face but doesn’t open his eyes. “What?”

“Can I sit?”

He’s not sure he wants to be around anyone, but it’s hard for him to say no to you. “Sure,” he says dully.

You join him on the curb, but keep a few feet of space between you. You don’t say anything, though, just sit quietly, letting him make the first move.

“How are you okay?” he asks eventually.

“What?” You sound incredulous. “I’m not sure where you got that idea. I’m so mad at Hotch that I can barely breathe when I’m in the same room as him.”

Spencer considers this for a moment, recalling when everyone’s been in the same room during this case. He realizes that since he’s been preoccupied with you touching Emily and trying to avoid Jennifer, he’s missed how you tense up whenever you see Hotch, and that you keep him out of your eyesight whenever possible.

“But you’re fine with Emily,” he observes. That does honestly confuse him, because he’s mad at Emily as well. And if it had been you in her place? He’s not sure he’d ever be able to forgive you, even without you knowing the way he feels about you.

“For the most part,” you say. “I still feel a little mad at her sometimes, but it helps me to remember that it wasn’t her fault.”

He finally looks at you, raising an eyebrow. “Being alive in Paris and not telling you isn’t her fault?”

“She didn’t really get a choice. When she woke up after surgery, the funeral had already happened,” you explain. “Hotch made the decision without her.”

“Hmm.” He files that information away to think over later. “And Jennifer?”

You shrug. “I can’t be too mad at her, since she did so much for me during those weeks.”

He snorts. “Yeah, out of guilt.”

“Probably, yes,” you concede. “But not having to pack up Emily’s things and take them to storage myself, feeding Sergio and bringing him to stay with me, bringing me hot meals when I was surviving off of cereal alone because I could barely get out of bed, let alone cook for myself… it went a long way.”

On the one hand, it’s a bit comforting for him to hear how Jennifer helped the woman he loves. On the other, she could have ended your pain with three words—Emily is alive—but she didn’t. She let the woman he loves suffer the pain of the loss of a partner.

And she sure didn’t bring him hot meals.

This shouldn’t surprise you, Spencer. You’ve always been the afterthought. The burden. You should be used to this by now.

He clenches the fabric of his pants in his hands. “That doesn’t make me any less angry,” he mutters.

“That’s fine.”

“You can’t expect me to just—wait, what?”

“That’s fine,” you repeat. “I’m not trying to tell you to just get over it or whatever because she was nice to me. Like Em told me, you’re allowed to be mad.”

Spencer bites his lip, resisting the urge to ask you to stop calling her Em. You’re the only one that calls her that—or rather, is allowed to call her that, and it’s obvious why. It’s also similar enough to you calling him Spence that he’ll always start comparing himself to Emily when he hears it, and he’s been trying to stop doing that for months.

“Maybe you just, I don’t know,” you continue, drawing him out of his thoughts. “You could just try to be a little less passive aggressive with JJ?”

He opens his mouth, about to flat-out refuse, but before he can, you tack on, “For me? Just a little bit?”

God damn it.

“Only if she stops bothering me,” he says bluntly.

“Yeah, she, um… she was crying when I left, so I think she’s got the message now,” you say quietly.

He feels a bit guilty upon hearing that, but not enough to apologize, or even really regret it. I told her I didn’t want to talk about it, he rationalizes to himself. She’s the one who decided to push it anyways.

After a few moments of silence, you reach out and pat his knee. “I love you, you know.”

He knows what you mean, knows that you don’t mean it like that, but his heart still skips a beat. He responds to you with a nod.

You push yourself to your feet, tell him to take all the time he needs, and you’ll see him when he’s ready to come back in, then walk away.

When he’s certain you’re out of earshot, he whispers back, “I love you, too.”

---

Emily sits down across from him on the plane, and Spencer is immediately reminded of the morning after he caught you and her together. That time, Emily had folded her hands in front of her on the table. This time, she slides something across it to him. He looks up from his book and sees his missing tie, wrinkles ironed out and folded neatly.

“It was in her bed,” she explains when his brow furrows.

Spencer wonders if that made Emily jealous.

He’s not a good enough person to not hope it did.

“Thanks,” he mutters, putting it away in his bag.

Emily’s quiet, but she doesn’t leave. She must have something else to say. He sighs. “What is it?”  

“Are you going to Rossi’s house tomorrow night?” she asks.

He looks back down to his book. “I don’t know. I’m not so sure I can make it.”

“Okay. Well, Reid, you can be mad at me for as long as you need to. I’m okay with that.”

Spencer frowns. He kind of wishes she wasn’t being so nice and understanding. It makes it harder to be upset with her, and he wants to be upset with her.

“I’d like to say something to you, though, if that’s okay,” she says.

He reluctantly looks back up. “What?”

Emily holds his gaze. “Thank you,” she says earnestly.

He blinks. “Uh, for what?”

Her voice wavers slightly with emotion as she speaks. “For looking out for her when I couldn’t.”

His eyes drift away from Emily and to the couch where you’re sleeping. “My pleasure,” he replies quietly. When he looks back at Emily, she has a curious look on her face.

For the first time, instead of panicking over keeping his secret, instead of shying away, Spencer looks right back at her. A few seconds later, he thinks he sees a flash of realization in her eyes, but it’s so quick he can’t be sure.

“Well, thank you,” she repeats, and takes her leave. He watches as she leans down and tucks the blanket closer around you. He closes his eyes, leans back in his seat, and imagines a world where he was the one adjusting it instead.

---

“You’re gonna go weeks, months even, feeling fine. And then you’re gonna have a bad day.”

Emily can barely get the hotel room door open, her hands are shaking so much. A bad day. What Hotch called it, she thinks, was a bit of an understatement.

She’s just come back from taking a witness statement to help wrap up the piano man case—or rather, she was trying to take one.

“I was told that you would only give your statement to me.”

“Why didn’t you let me pull the trigger?” Regina asks.

“Because you would be in prison.” Emily understands why Regina is mad at her, and she’s fine with taking the brunt of it. Lying to her to stop her from shooting the unsub was the right thing to do. “I know it’s hard--”

“No, you don’t. You have no idea what it’s like…” Regina pauses briefly, anger radiating off of her. “When the monster from your nightmares comes back for you.”

Emily breaks eye contact and looks down. She knows exactly what that’s like.

Regina recognizes it. “Wait--”

Redirect, redirect, redirect. “Look, I’m here as a courtesy--”

“Something happened to you.”

“So do you want to give me your statement or not?”

But Regina is relentless. “What did you do to him, huh? Did you arrest him like a good FBI agent? Or did you kill him?”

Emily sits down heavily on the spare bed, drawing your attention away from packing up your things for the flight home. “Em?”

She just shakes her head, leaning forward with her elbows on her knees and closing her eyes. “It was the right thing,” she whispers to herself. “It was the right thing. I did the right thing.”

You sit down next to her and place your hand on her back. “What happened?”

Emily swallows hard, feeling sick to her stomach. Her hair is sticking to the back of her neck; she tilts her head to try and dislodge it. You catch on and pull it to the side for her.

“Talk to me, baby,” you urge gently. “Just something, anything I can do to help.”

She takes a few deep breaths, trying to calm down enough to speak. “I—I think,” she stutters. “I th—think I just ruined a woman’s pe—peace of m—mind for good.”

You start rubbing circles on her back and ask, “How?”

“You know, when they talk about victims getting revictimized by the system, they mean you.”

Emily shudders involuntarily. “I… you know how we found the unsub with a—a victim?”

Slowly, in sentences fractured by gasping breaths, swallows to hold back the nausea, and even a few sobs, she recounts what Regina said to her.

You murmur something under your breath that she doesn’t catch, then, ever so gently, you pull her into your arms.

Emily Prentiss isn’t one to break down, not in her own home and especially not in front of others. She controls any “negative” emotions as best as she can, her feelings only displayed through a trembling voice, misty eyes, or run-down nails. Screaming, tears, and nervous gestures were not befitting of an ambassador’s daughter, after all, and those habits formed in childhood have stayed with her until this day.

But there’s one person who’s the exception. There’s one person with whom those walls just don’t seem to exist. That person, of course, is you.

You pull her into your arms, and Emily Prentiss breaks down, because she can. She can because she knows you’ll be there to help put her back together again.

“You never had a chance to mourn your own death, did you?”

She hadn’t understood what her therapist meant when she said it yesterday morning, but Emily thinks she does now. This time last year, what Regina said would have unsettled her, and she would have felt sorry for her, but she probably wouldn’t have dwelt on it much. It’s not last year, though. It’s this year, and she’s coming undone in your embrace over Regina’s words, words she knows will never leave her.

“I didn’t pull the trigger.”

“Still… your monster’s dead. I have to live with mine. That’s my statement.”

Emily has a promise to keep, so she boards the jet early. A few minutes later, Hotch slides into the seat across from her and waits. It still takes her a few moments to collect herself enough to say the words.

“I’m having a bad day.”

---

Spencer’s not sure if you’re going to be able to keep doing this job. He became very familiar with your nervous tics and outward signs of stress during those weeks, and now he can notice them almost immediately.

You seemed okay for the first few months. A few habits cropped up now and then—biting your lip, tapping each fingertip to your thumb in turn—but that was fairly normal. It’s a stressful job.

But then your bottom lip starts getting chapped again, and during conversions with anyone other than Emily, you’re quiet; you often have to be prompted to share your thoughts.

He tries to find out what’s wrong, but when he asks, you shut it down. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Okay,” he says quietly. “But, um, you probably should talk to… somebody, you know?”

You barely look up from your paperwork as you respond. “I appreciate the concern, but I’ve been seeing a therapist since this whole shitshow started. I’ve got Emily, too. If anything, I should be telling you to go talk to a professional.”

Spencer just says “okay” again, then a few minutes later he excuses himself to go hide in the bathroom and nurse his hurt feelings. He knows you weren’t trying to be mean. Flipping around the suggestion to him most certainly came from a place of love. But he’s not interested in receiving any kind of psychiatric care—he’s actively opposed to it. So being told anything of that sort upsets him and often makes him angry.

Today it’s just salt in the wound, though. The wound itself is Emily. And god, does he ever feel guilty about the resentment that crops up every time her name is in your mouth. She was dead, and every day she was gone, he wished she weren’t. He cried countless tears over her and would’ve given anything to at least be able to say goodbye.

Then the impossible happened—she came back. He didn’t have to say goodbye at all. And sure, there was the initial relief and happiness, and the warmest hug ever, but now he finds himself resenting her. He’d never wish for her to be gone again, but he can’t stop the jealousy, no matter how hard he tries.

Recently, when Emily was shot during a case in California, he held back your hair as you leaned out of the door of the SUV and threw up upon receiving the news. Spencer Reid would never deny that he’s a germaphobe, but he wants that. He wants to be the one taking care of you, the one whose shoulder you fall asleep on, the one going home with you at the end of the day.

He doesn’t want Emily gone, never, ever again, but he wants you back. Those ten weeks, as awful as they were, weren’t the worst he’s had, because during that time, you were always seeking him out. He knows you didn’t want him that way, but if Emily had really been gone, he thinks one day, that might have changed. The thought always brings tears to his eyes.

Still, he would settle for having you the way he did during the years before he fell for you. Things just haven’t been the same since Emily came back. You don’t stay up late talking anymore. You haven’t a movie night in months. You don’t ask about the books he’s reading or what he did over the weekend. This is it: this is exactly what he was afraid of happening when he found you with Emily.

Spencer doesn’t think it’s personal. He thinks it’s because you’re barely hanging on these days, and just don’t have the energy anymore to do things like you used to.

It still hurts, though. He wonders if it’ll ever stop hurting.

---

Respite can come at the strangest of times and in the oddest of ways. Today, it comes to Emily in the middle of a hostage situation at a bank, in the form of a job offer.

The team is trying to find the I.D. of the Queen of Hearts, one of the robbers, when she gets a surprise call from Clyde Easter, her old Interpol Unit Chief, who gives her the information he knows about the unsub. He doesn’t know her name, but he reminds her that she’s seen the unsub before, at a robbery in Paris while she was living there. Then when the team learns that their unsubs want to fly out to Chad, she calls him back.

“Well, unfortunately Interpol doesn’t have many assets in that particular region in Africa. Maybe that’s something you could help me with when this is over.”

Emily scoffs. “Work for Interpol again? That’ll be the day.”

“Not work, darling. Run,” he corrects. “You see, I’ve been promoted. So, the team’s yours whenever you want it.”

“It’s a hell of a time to bring that up,” she says, ignoring the questioning glances she’s getting from you, Reid, and JJ.

Clyde asks her to think about it, but there’s no time to do that now. She pushes it to the back of her mind and goes back to work.

By the time the day is over, she’s tired. Just tired. You both narrowly survive the explosion in the bank thanks to the alcove you were in, trying to help two elderly patrons. Then a mere hour later, you scare the shit out of her by finding Will strapped to an active bomb and deactivating it yourself. So Clyde’s offer doesn’t come up again until the next morning, when light is spilling through the curtains, illuminating the bedroom with a soft, warm glow.

You face each other in bed, legs twined together under the covers. “What was that about working for Interpol again?” you ask softly, tucking your arm under your head.

“Clyde was promoted,” she replies just as quietly, as to not disturb the peaceful morning feeling. “He offered me his old job. He wants me to run the London office.”

Your eyes widen. “Wow.”

“Yeah.”

“How are you feeling about that?”

Emily blows out a breath. “I’d like to at least… consider it.”

You reach out, finding her hand in the sheets and lacing your fingers between hers. “What’s stopping you?”

“I’m sure you can guess,” she replies, squeezing your hand back.

“Well, then I think you’re more than just considering it,” you say. “You wouldn’t bring it to me if you didn’t want to take the job.”

Emily thinks for a moment, then admits, “I… I do want to take it. But I have to know what you think, honestly.” She was already robbed out of making one life-changing decision without you in this past year. She has no interest in that happening again.

“Honestly?” you repeat, shifting a little. At her nod, you continue, “I think it’s a good option for us.”

“Us?” she asks, eyebrows raising.

“Yeah, us,” you affirm. “What, you think I’m just going to stay here if you move away?”

She shrugs. “I don’t know, maybe. This is the first time we’ve talked about something like this.”

“Fair point,” you say, then sigh. “We’re… both struggling here in D.C., Em. I know it and you know it. This place, this team. It used to be my home, but now, I just… it’s not like it was before.”

“You don’t trust Hotch anymore,” Emily says quietly.

You let out a small, broken chuckle. “I’ve tried. I’ve been trying so hard. I know he did what he thought he had to, but I just… I can’t.”

“It’s okay to feel that way,” she points out. She lets go of your hand to reach up and wipe away a tear that breaks your lash line. “In fact, I’d say it’s reasonable, with what you went through.”

You close your eyes and nod, putting your hand on top of hers to keep it on your cheek. “I know it’s been hard for you, too.”

“Yeah,” she sighs. “I wanted to come back, and at first, I felt like I was home. But I just can’t go back to my old life and pretend that nothing happened. The only time I feel at home now is… well, it’s when I’m alone with you, just like this.”

“Emily Prentiss, I had no idea you were such a romantic,” you say, cracking a smile.

“Oh, stop,” she says, but she’s blushing. When your giggles subside, she speaks again. “I would love for you to come to London with me. But I don’t want you to forget what you’d be leaving. There’s still a lot of good here.”

You nod. “There is. I’m just not sure it’s enough anymore,” you say softly.

“I understand. You can think about it. I don’t need an answer now.”

So you don’t give her one, not right away. But you do a few hours later. So Emily picks up her phone and dials Clyde’s number.

---

JJ’s a beautiful bride, but Spencer’s eyes keep drifting over to you. The dress you’re wearing tonight is wonderful; from the cut to the color, it suits you perfectly. But that’s not what’s really got his attention. It’s the way you’re carrying yourself. You’re smiling, and you seem truly happy, without any reservations. But there’s also a bit of sadness clinging to you, and he can’t tell what’s causing it.

The party has been going on for a while by the time he finds himself dancing with you. You’d asked him, and now you’ve steered him a little ways away from everyone else. “There’s something I have to tell you,” you say just as he’s about to ask what’s going on.

To his dismay, he doesn’t have a clue what it’s going to be. He doesn’t like not having at least an idea. He swallows, then says, “Okay.”

You can’t meet his eyes; you look down to the floor instead and watch your feet move in time together. So whatever it is, I’m not going to like it, he thinks, and his anxiety spikes. “What is it?” he asks, tightening his grip on you without really meaning to.

You take a deep breath, then look up. “Emily and I are leaving.”

His heart drops and he stops in his tracks, causing you to stumble a little over his feet. “Oh, shi—sorry,” he says. “I just—you’re leaving the BAU? But you’re still going to be in D.C., right?”

You sigh, then guide him off the dance floor and to a quiet spot not too far away. “You remember what Emily said about working for Interpol again yesterday?”

“Interpol?” he repeats, his voice pitching upwards. “You mean, like, overseas?”

“London, to be specific.”

He opens his mouth but nothing comes out. He doesn’t know what to say. Things were a little rocky between you and him when Emily came back, and for a little while afterwards, sure, but recently he’d started to feel like he had his best friend back.

Apparently he couldn’t be more wrong.

Spencer’s used to people leaving. First it was his dad, then Ethan. Elle was next, quickly followed by Gideon. JJ was forced out, and although she ended up coming back, it didn’t erase the pain he felt in her absence. And then there was everything that happened with Emily.

So, Spencer’s used to people leaving. In a way, he almost expects it.

He just wishes it would stop hurting so damn much.

What is it about me? he wonders. What is it that makes people run away? There’s clearly something wrong with--

“Hey!”

He jumps, startled out of his introspection. When his eyes refocus on you, you put your hands on your hips.

“I don’t appreciate people being mean to my best friend, you know,” you tell him seriously.

“Uh…” He blinks a few times. “I’m sorry, I don’t follow.”

“That includes him being mean to himself,” you continue. “I know what you were thinking.”

“What? No, you don’t,” he protests.

“Don’t I?” You put the tip of your finger on your chin. “Was it or was it not something along the lines of, people always leave me, why do they do that, there must be something wrong with me?”

He hates that you’re right, so he doesn’t answer, just scowls and looks away.

“It’s not true, you know.”

“Sure,” he mutters. Sure it isn’t. You’ve only just added your name to the list.

“I mean it.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Look at me.”

Spencer doesn’t, and your resulting sigh sounds so frustrated, and then he thinks, Oh, great work, Reid. (Y/N) tells you she’s leaving and what do you do? You piss her off. Honestly, it’s no wonder--

And then your hands are on his face, cradling his cheeks, and he’s too surprised to resist your gaze anymore.

“It’s not your fault, Spencer,” you say, your voice equal parts firm and gentle. “You didn’t drive me away. Not even close. There’s nothing inherently wrong with you, okay? You didn’t do anything wrong.”

He sniffs, trying to hold back the sudden onslaught of emotions you’ve just caused. “Well, I could have gone without picking a fight with you on our first day back at work,” he says, sniffling again.

“What’re you tal—Spencer, that was almost a year ago.”

“Nine months.”

“Whatever. The point still stands. You’re not why I’m leaving, okay? You’re…” you trail off and he’s alarmed to see your eyes grow wet. “You’re the opposite, actually. You were the only thing keeping me here when Emily was gone. And now, you’re why it’s so hard to leave.”

“I am?” he whispers before he can think better of it.

“You are,” you affirm. “I think Emily’s actually a little worried you’re gonna talk me out of it.”

It gets a laugh out of him, but right after a little sob escapes him and he squeezes his eyes shut. When you hug him, he immediately reciprocates, wrapping his arms around your middle tightly.

“Hey, this isn’t the end, okay?” you say, and he can tell from the way your voice is trembling that you’re crying, too. “I know you like to ignore it, but we do live in the digital age, and I’ll be hounding you to talk to me at least once a week. You’re not getting rid of me that easily.”

“I’d certainly hope not,” he murmurs, resting his head on your shoulder.

The two of you stay like that for a while, just holding each other, trying not to cry too much. Eventually, you pull away. “Besides, it’s not like I’m leaving first thing in the morning. Our flight isn’t for another ten days. I’m gonna be around.”

Spencer nods. “Okay.”

“Okay,” you repeat, then swipe at your face, clearing away the tears. “Um, we should head back. You still owe me a dance.”

And dance with you he does, swaying gently from side to side with his hand resting on your waist. A look over your shoulder shows Emily and Derek dancing in a similar manner; judging by the way he’s holding her, she told him the news as well.

He has an eidetic memory, but Spencer makes the effort to commit this moment to his brain all the same. He wants to remember the way you’re holding him, resting your head on his chest and running your thumb over the back of his hand every so often. He wants to remember how your skin feels against his, the texture of your hair. The lighting in the backyard and the way it makes you glow. The words that you said, telling him that it’s not his fault, that nothing’s wrong with him. He’s not quite sure he believes it, but you’ve never lied to him before, so he’ll try to accept it.

The song ends, and tears threaten to fall again when you pick up your head and take a step back.

“Hey, no more crying tonight,” you say. “Because if you start crying, I’ll start crying, and I don’t want to cry any more tonight. Save it for my grand exit at the airport terminal.”

That makes him break into a smile and he’s able to blink back the tears. “Okay.”

“Do you mind if I take this dance?” It’s Emily, and she’s looking at him, head tilted in your direction.

“Oh, um.” He clears his throat. “No, um, go—go ahead.”

He passes your hand to her, and what he feels is silly. You’re not some prize to be won; you don’t belong to anyone other than yourself. But he feels like he’s passing you off to Emily, almost… entrusting you to her. The look Emily gives him makes him think she understands this.

“Wait,” you say before she can properly take you into her arms. You lean towards him and press a kiss to his cheek.

Spencer doesn’t stay around to watch you two dance. He retreats back into the house, fingertips on the spot you kissed. He lets them sit there for a moment, then forces himself to drop his hand. It’s far past time for him to try and move on. He doesn’t want you to leave, but it might be what he needs.

Maybe, just maybe, with some distance, he can begin to heal.

---

On the first day at work without you, Spencer finds a small frame on his desk. He immediately recognizes the picture inside of it—it’s the one you’d kept as your lockscreen for months, much to his dismay.

It’s a picture from the relatively early days of your friendship, well before he felt anything that wasn’t platonic towards you. You’d dragged him out on a weekend off to a nearby amusement park, because, “you can’t die without having ridden a roller coaster at least once, Spence.” He had no desire to do so, but he didn’t have any other plans, so he went along with it.

The roller coaster ended up making him vomit, and the picture is from shortly after that. You’re holding up the camera with one hand and making a peace sign with the other, smiling from ear to ear. He still looks a little queasy, only managing a small smile, but he still looks somewhat happy. And he was, that day. Other than the nausea, he’d had a lot of fun with you.

He picks up the frame and feels something on the back of it. He flips it over and finds one of his lilac colored post-it notes, displaying your handwriting.

“When it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”

Tears blur his vision. Doctor Who. Of course you picked Doctor Who. And you’ve written something else, too, in smaller letters:

If you don’t answer my calls at least twice a month, I’ll tell JJ you’ve been stealing from her Cheetos stash for eight years. Love ya.

He laughs out loud, a little wet giggle that he has to follow up with a sniffle. He slips the note under the frame’s felt backing to keep it safe, then rearranges his things until he settles on the perfect spot for it to sit on his desk. He retrieves a fresh sticky note and scribbles down a reminder to himself to call you when he gets home, sticking it the cover of one of his books. After all, he can’t have JJ knowing about his thievery. The team’s good at what they do, but he doesn’t think anyone would be able to find his body once JJ’s done with him.

His eyes drift back to the photograph, coming to a stop on your face. He misses you already. He even misses the ugly bits, when you’d snapped at each other, when you were crying on his shoulder. When he saw you with Emily that first time. It’s an odd mix of emotions. Longing, nostalgia, grief, happiness, safety. Belonging.

Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.

Spencer couldn’t agree more.

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tell me what you thought here!

oh my god, i can hardly believe it’s over. there’s still going to be a small epilogue, but it’s optional. thank you, thank you, thank you, to everyone who read and supported this series and your enthusiasm for it. you’ve made me so very happy. and if you relate to spencer in this, i want you to know you’re gonna find your someone someday. if that’s what you want, i believe you’ll find it eventually. much love to all of you. 💖

series taglist: @sobereinstein , @zizzlekwum , @goldensatine , @closetedreidstan , @afuckingshituniverse , @uswntxx , @johnmulaneyslut , @90spumkin , @mcntsee , @zhuzhubii , @shadyladyperfection , @mggbler , @eva-cadeau , @esmesisle , @anothergayinthelife , @wecouldbreakthedistance , @zozoleesi , @calm-and-doctor , i think that’s everyone?? so sorry if i missed you.