#like with all the expedition party drama and shit

[incorrectsibunaquotes]

i wish we knew more about louisa frobisher-smythe

[nolita-fairytale]

what it would be like meeting mikey berzatto as the most important person in carmy's life:

a/n: ok so it is in fact canon in my 'make my heart surrender' series that the main character never got to meet mikey. however, i've been thinking a lot about what it would be like if she had met him when she and carmy were working together in new york so i wrote a lil somethin' about it. it can absolutely be read as a standalone piece with a pastry!chef reader.

takes place october 2021; reader x carmy are best friends and colleagues but it has not gone further than that.

trigger warnings: drug usage, high mikey b, swearing, family drama, depression

how you end up meeting mikey:

halloween weekend of 2021. mikey ends up in new york city for the weekend because he followed a weekend fling for a party. they got into a huge fight over who knows what, and he finds himself in new york city, figuring he might as well go see his brother.

it's a busy night at the new-york-city-fine-dining-establishment-that-shall-not-be-named, carmy is knee deep in expediting while the pastry side just happens to be overstaffed.

your general manager, kate, comes in, letting them know that there's a man outside who's asking for carmy. "he says he's your brother." "my brother?" while carmy doesn't think he can step away, in one shared look, you decide to go since you're his best friend -- the only one he trusts to handle it anyways.

you head out to the front of the restaurant to address the situation finding michael standing outside of the restaurant, pacing on the sidewalk. you recognize him from photos, but he looks different, and it's not hard to figure out that he's kind of strung out -- high on something, though you're uncertain of what.

"you're not carm." "no, i'm not. sorry, but carmy couldn't come out. so he sent me." "shit... the guy can't even make time to see his big brother?" "i don't think he was expecting you." you watch as michael's eyebrows rise in reaction to your comment. "he would if he could. it's just... we're doing 400 covers tonight and uh... well, he runs the kitchen so." disappointedly, as if he's accepted that he's not going to see carmy after all, he says, "yeah yeah okay... i didn't know i'd be here either. i just, i -- i gotta catch a flight anyways. will you let him know that mikey stopped by?" "of course."

by the time you get back in the kitchen, you want to protect carmy from the state michael was in so you don't mention the fact that he was high. "what did he want?" "just wanted to stop by. i think he uh... found himself in the city. surprise trip or something." but carmy doesn't completely buy it, instead, focuses, head down on finishing dinner service.

at the end of the night, carmy offers to walk you home, so the two of you head out of the restaurant, eager to unwind from a long night. as you're leaving, michael's still waiting outside of the restaurant and he doesn't look great -- looks like he's coming down from whatever you assume he took.

"michael, what're you doing here?" carmy asks, in shock that he's even here in the first place. "thought i'd come surprise you." "i mean, what're you doing here? in new york?" mikey sighs, a smirk on his face as he answers with: "never trust chicks on motorcycles, carm. they'll leave you high and dry in a brooklyn loft for a few good lines of coke. he chuckles. and while he doesn't exactly find it funny, carmy makes his best effort to try and laugh too, it coming out more like a dry exhale. mikey pivots, as if he's putting on a well-practiced happy face, though there's a sadness in your eyes that you think may haunt you for the rest of your life.

"i'm sorry. where the fuck are my manners? i'm mikey. mikey berzatto. i'm this jagoff's brother." you introduce yourself, and mikey's enthusiastically corralling you to grab a drink with him. carmy keeps looking over at you as if he's checking in, trying to get a read on you as he hesitates to answer. cautiously, you agree, wanting carmy to spend time with his brother. "one drink," he warns mikey.

the three of you make your way to a bar across the street that's open late, and as soon as michael has his first drink, it's like he's a completely different person. he's charming, larger than life, quite the storyteller and you see a side of carmy that you've never seen before. as you watch him listen to his brother, you can see just how much he admires his older brother. while you know carmy is hurt that michael barely calls or makes an effort to keep in touch, sitting here with him now, you can see the way that carmy looks at him -- like he put the stars, the moon, and the sun in the sky. there's a deep admiration and he's almost childlike in the way that he looks up to him.

after the first round, you head to bathroom, wanting to give him and mikey the time. carmy had promised one drink, but you're open to staying if he wants more time with his brother.

"this your girl, carm" "mikey, stop it." "then please tell me you're hittin' that." "michael!" carmy hushes his brother, a warning and protectiveness in his voice as he does. "are you fuckin' serious right now? what, you're teling me you're not?" "she's.... my friend." "shit. wish i had a friend like that. ya friends or are ya... you know... friends?" carmy just shakes his head, jaw clenched, glaring at michael, wishing he'd stop. "shit, i thought i taught you better than that, bear." "just friends. i'm serious, mike. cut it out." "oh come on! the chick's smokin' fuckin' hot. and i can tell that you like her. i'm not blind, bear. i see the way you-."

it's that sentence that pushes carmy in a way that he doesn't like at all. "don't talk to me like you know what's going on in my life." "carm-." "can't even pick up the damn phone and then you just... waltz into town acting like everything is okay?" "well, if you ever bothered to come home. you know mom's been askin' about you. never fuckin' call her-." "oh don't bring mom into this!"

when you return from the bathroom, there is a palpable tension between the two of them that you're not sure how to navigate the thick silence stewing with things left unsaid.

"everything okay?" you ask.

"i think we should go," carmy grits out, clearly upset over the conversation that just transpired between them. "uh... yeah, okay." "it was nice meetin' you sweetheart," mikey grunts, an empty shot glass that wasn't there previously on the bar top. carmy noticeably rolls his eyes at mikey's comment as you grab your things and close out your tab.

on the walk home, you ask: "you wanna talk about it?" "not really," carmy answers. he's quiet on the way home and you can tell whatever was said between the two of them really hurt him. as you finally get to your place, carmy sighs, as if he's ready to get something off his chest. "thank you. for doing that." "for what?" "for comin' along. even though it like... colossally blew up." "you ever gonna tell me what happened?" he shrugs, "i don't know." "okay... well, while i wait for you to burst like a pressure cooker, then inevitably spill the beans," you begin, and he smiles, because you know him too well. "wanna come up for a movie or something? get your mind off of it? it's halloween. maybe i'll even let you talk me into a scary movie this time." you finish asking him. and it's the moment that carmy realizes that you're such a breath of fresh air, especially in contrast with his earlier encounter with mikey. "uh.. yeah. think i'd like that."

the two of you go up to your place, put on a movie, and end up falling asleep on the couch together, only to pretend the next morning that it's not that big of a deal (it is, in fact, a HUGE deal).

[fanmoose12]

the devil you know

Сharacters: Hange Zoe, Levi, Moblit Berner, Zeke Yeagar, Armin Arlert

Genres: Action / Drama

Summary: Can you still miss a person, if everything you knew about them was a lie?

Сhapter 2/?

Chapter 1

Her first visitor was - quite unsurprisingly - Moblit.

He brought food, a change of clothes and even books to her. All of them - Hange couldn't help but note - were picked up to suite her interests.

Then he sat down next to her and proceeded to clean the small cut on her cheek, the one she received during the raid on Liberio, when one of the bullets flew almost too close for her to dodge.

"It's just a scratch," she whispered, still unable to meet his gaze. She did not deserve his kindness. She never did.

"It still might get infected," Moblit murmured, applying a soothing balm on the wound. Gentle, he was always so gentle with her. So patient too. Hange’s eyes started to sting.

"And why do you care?" she asked, staring at the wall in front of her. "Don't you..." she closed her eyes, wincing. Why did she care? He was an enemy, the devil of Paradise, and yet— yet her heart still squeezed painfully and her stomach was in knots. "Don't you hate me?"

Moblit sighed, putting away the med kit. He rose up from his kneeling position and joined her on a small prison bed.

"I tried," he confessed softly. "I tried hating you, so hard and for so long but I just… couldn't. You know when Captain Levi broke the news of your betrayal..." he chuckled quietly, running a hand through his hair. "I started crying. I thought how could you do that, after those years we've spent fighting side by side, how could lie to us like this? But then..."

"Then?" Hange echoed, her voice wavering.

"Then I remembered our first expedition," Moblit smiled. "The one where I almost got eaten. You saved me back there. Nearly got your hand bitten off but you saved me, and that made me realize, you didn't lie, not always anyways. You're an extraordinary person, Hange-san, but I don't think even you can pretend like this all the time. All these nights I carried you to your room after you fell asleep in your office and you murmured 'thanks' against my shirt, all these evenings we and the guys from our squad got drunk at the bars, all these times you made sure to check on me, when I got myself into infirmary, finding the time to do so, despite your crazy schedule... I know all of this wasn't a lie, it couldn’t be.”

He paused for a moment, staring at her with the same devotion he always did, the one that always made Hange’s throat go dry, because she had never deserved it. She – a traitor and a liar – never deserved Moblit’s kindness and affection. But even now, he didn’t seem to understand it.

“I can't hate you, Hange-san,” he murmured softly, “because I know that this betrayal hurt you as much as it did all of us."

He touched her hand, briefly squeezing it, and when Hange looked up, surprised that her vision is clouded, Moblit wiped off her unshed tears and gave her another kind smile.

"I'll come back in the evening. Please tell me if you need anything else. I can go to your room..."

"My room?" Hange startled. "You haven't cleared it out yet?"

Haven't they destroyed everything there - burned all of her papers and smashed all of her samples? Why not?

"Captain Levi forbade us from doing so," Moblit replied, and that seemingly simple revelation had Hange’s heart beating madly. Her shocked expression didn’t go unnoticed by Moblit. He chuckled heartily, muttering something to himself.

"Good day, Hange-san," he said at last, leaving her to deal with the bewildering news on her own.

***

Armin came to her next.

For the longest time, he just sat there, fiddling with something small, enclosed in his hands and out of her sight.

Hange ignored him, pretending to read one of Moblit's books and watching him from the corner of her eyes, waiting for Armin to speak up.

Was it his method of manipulation? If so, it wasn't working.

But as the silence stretched on, becoming tenser with each second, Hange struggled not to squirm in her seat. What was the meaning of this? What was he waiting for? And then, when she was ready to speak up and ask what the fuck he wanted with her, Armin finally looked up.

He rose to his feet and hid the mysterious object inside his jacket before Hange could see what it was.

"I'll have tea brought for us,” he announced. “Just wait for a minute."

"It's not like I can go anywhere," Hange muttered, rolling her eyes.

“Just a minute,” Armin repeated with a nervous laugh, and then hurriedly left.

Once the tea was brought, Armin let himself inside the cell.

"There you go," he murmured, handing Hange a white porcelain cup. It was one of the best that the scouts had, Hange knew that this tea set was only used for that rare instances, where they had to hold meetings with the highest members of the brass. And Armin decided to use this set to have a tea party with her? The hospitality was making her uncomfortable. Was that Armin’s intention too?

She accepted the cup, looking at the boy over its rim. "How are Gabi and Falco?"

"Don't worry," Armin smiled. "No harm will come their way. Their cell is not... as luxurious as yours is,” he gestured to the bed, desk and even small bookshelf that stood inside. “But they're in good hands, you can trust me on that."

"Thank you," Hange nodded and drank from the cup. Her eyes opened wide as she tasted the familiar sweet flavor. How did he—

"You should try biscuits too," Armin the pushed the plate closer to her. Hange glanced at them. Just as the tea, those biscuits were her favorite.

"We used to do it a lot, remember?" Armin said, easily deciphering the reason for her surprise. "With Mikasa, Eren and the rest of your squad..."

"I remember," Hange quietly answered. She took another sip, her throat suddenly going too dry.

Was this all a part of his plan? To make her feel as the most disgusting piece of shit in the world? Armin shouldn’t have bothered. She was quite good at it herself.

"Good times, eh?" Armin chuckled, putting a hand under his chin. “Those evening at the barracks… You told us so many things, had us hanging onto your every word. You had enough passion in you to carry on for the whole night, but Captain Levi never let us stay for too long…”

“Is that the reason for your visit?” Hange snapped, interrupting him. Every word from his mouth was making her more and more angry. She didn't need some barely adult to lecture her, trying to make her feel bad. What did he want to achieve with that? Make her realize how awful she is? She knew that already. “Did you come here to reminisce about the good old days? Don’t you have anything better to do, Armin?”

"Sorry," weird, but Armin looked genuinely apologetic. Was he always that good of an actor? Or did he learn the skill of deceit after she left? "It wasn't my intent to stir... some unwanted memories. I didn't come here for this. I actually... wanted to ask a question."

"Ask away," Hange allowed, crossing arms on her chest.

"I've been thinking about this a lot," Armin began, playing with a cup's handle. Looking like that – with his head bowed and his eyes cast down, he reminded Hange of the boy she knew four years ago. She almost believed in his sincerity. “Reiner and Berthold, Annie... they wanted to kill Eren. At the very least, take him away. Why haven't you attempted something like this? You had more than enough opportunities. Why didn't you use them?"

Why didn't she indeed. Deep down, Hange knew an answer to this question. But since she wasn't only a piece of shit, but a coward as well, she wasn’t ready to admit it, even to herself. And she sure as hell wasn’t going to admit to Armin too.

She had an answer for him, though. A reason she fabricated to placate her superiors and give herself at least some peace of mind.

"I've never seen an Attack Titan. Kruger died before I became a part of Titan Research Society. And..." she shrugged, and put on a bright smile, her only mask and best defense. "I wanted to study him so much that I was willing to ignore my duty."

"And thunder spears?" Armin asked. "Without them, we would have lost at Shiganshina. Why did you create them?"

"Same reason," she took a biscuit in her hands, biting into it. Her lie was so good, she herself started believing in it. "I was too fascinated by your technology. Couldn't pass the opportunity to find out what your natural resources are capable of."

"Ever the scientist?" something very close to admiration shone in Armin's big blue eyes. Hange quickly looked away, not giving her guilt an opportunity to resurface. She’d have time for that later, when left alone. “Thank you for your answer, Hange-san.”

“Is that all you’ve wanted to ask?”

“No,” Armin shook his head. He shifted his eyes back down, staring into his cup. He slowly span the spoon, lost in thought.

“I know it’s unwise,” he stated, tone uncharacteristically firm for a boy Hange once knew. “And I know that others may not… agree with me on this, but I wasn’t supposed to be in this position. Commander Erwin left it to you, you’re his true successor and I…”

Couldn’t be, Hange thought. Was it another one of his games?

“Are you asking for an advice, Armin?”

“I…” he chuckled, nervously ruffling his hair. “I guess I am. It’s just— everyone looks up to me now, thinking I’ve got all the right answers, but I don’t even know what the question is supposed to be. I’m trying to deal with the mess that the attack on Liberio caused, and now everyone is coming after me for putting Eren in jail, and—” Armin rubbed his face, his shoulders sagging. Hange started to feel sorry for the boy, she could only imagine how hard it was to call shots during times like this. “After you… left, I thought I’ve learnt my lesson. I thought I knew that you can’t trust everyone. But Eren isn’t just someone, he’s my best friend.”

I was someone’s best friend too once, Hange almost said. She was someone’s best friend too, and then she betrayed him.

Would he ever be able to forgive me, she wondered.

No, Hange shut that train of thoughts immediately. He wouldn’t. He was too smart to be that kind.

“He’s a family,” Armin solemnly continued, breaking her out of the reverie. “But after what he’s done in Liberio… I can’t even look him in the eyes.”

“He changed,” Hange said, as softly as she could. She contemplated covering Armin’s hand with hers, but she doubted he’d allow it. “People do that sometimes.”

“Yes,” Armin nodded. “I’m… learning to accept that.”

“I know you still care about him. You always will.”

She will always care about him too. God, she was pathetic. A spy and a traitor and she couldn’t do even that properly, forgetting the most important rule of ‘do not get attached’.

“But you can’t trust Eren anymore,” Hange told him.

Talking about trust? Well, wasn’t she a hypocrite. Another one of her many, many flaws.

“I know,” he sadly agreed. “But Eren is not the only one, who worries me. There is also a matter of Zeke Yeager…” Armin reminded.

She smashed the biscuit in her fist. Zeke, the bastard had played them all. And to think she used to admire him… More than just admire him.

“Don’t let Eren and Zeke converse,” she warned grimly. “Under any circumstances. Knowing what Zeke is capable of, and witnessing what Eren is capable of, it would be best if you separate them.”

“Separate them…” Armin mumbled, biting his thumb.

“Get Zeke out of the inner city,” Hange advised. “As far as you can. Perhaps…” she scratched her chin, thinking. “Perhaps, have him hidden in the Forest of Giant Trees.”

“Huh… that’s a very sound idea,” Armin slowly nodded, some tension leaving his body. That bright light returned to his eyes, and Hange relaxed at the sight of it. Seeing some of his worries disappear made her feel just a tiniest bit better about herself. “I can appoint Captain Levi as Zeke’s guardian, he won’t be able to make a single move then.”

“You do that.”

Just at the mention of him, all of her good mood had disappeared. It was a good thing that Armin decided to get him out of the city too. Perhaps, her heart wouldn’t get completely shattered then.

“Thank you so much,” Armin finally smiled, looking up at Hange.

With his puffy cheeks and big, bright eyes, he looked young, she couldn’t help but note. He was still just a boy. And already he had a burden on his shoulders Hange wasn’t sure she herself would be able to carry.

“I know it may not mean much to you, but you’re doing good, Armin. He—” Hange paused, clearing her throat. She still couldn’t say hisname. Commander Erwin Smith was an enemy, a biggest threat to their mission. But at the same time… he was a man she followed for five years of her life. He was a man she admired like no other. Erwin Smith was a friend.

And she missed him terribly.

“He would have been proud of you,” she finished hoarsely.

“Hange-san,” Armin rose, laying a hand on her shoulder. “I didn’t know Commander Erwin as much as you did, but I think… I think he would have forgiven you. If that’s any consolation, I already did.”

Fuck. Hange turned her face away, hiding her eyes. Starting with memories of their time years ago, bringing up Erwin, forgiving her… Was Armin so determined to make her cry?

“Thank you for your time,” Armin said at last, leaving the cell.

As soon as the door closed after him, she left the tears flow.

***

Then came Sasha. Naturally, with Connie in tow.

With wide eyes Hange stared at the variety of meals the pair brought inside her cell.

"Um..." she gawked at it, feeling utterly lost. "What is this?"

"It's food!" Sasha beamed.

"Yeah, I can see that but... What's the occasion?"

"I just thought they don't feed you in here," Sasha answered, skeptically looking Hange over. "It doesn't look like they do. You seem thinner than before."

The sight of Sasha with hands on her hips and her lips pressed together in displeasure made Hange feel inexplicably warm. She desperately tried to fight off a smile, but in Sasha's presence it proved to be an almost impossible feat.

Ah, well, she was always her favorite...

"Moblit takes care of my meals actually."

He came to her every morning and evening, bringing warm food and engaging conversations. His quiet, soft voice was the only respite from the demons in her head.

"Pfft," Sasha rolled her eyes. "And you're calling that food? This is food!" she gestured at the plates they’ve carried inside. "Just try it, Hange-san, it's delicious!"

"It's from Niccolo!" Connie said, grinning just as brightly. "He's a real master."

"And our friend!" Sasha added.

“Something more than a friend for Sasha," Connie corrected.

Red hue instantly appeared on Sasha's cheeks, and Hange couldn't resist anymore - she snickered in her palm.

"Let's eat before it gets cold," Sasha muttered, avoiding everyone's eyes.

As she busied herself with serving the table, Hange exchanged a look with Connie. The boy winked. Hange hid a smile.

As they ate, Sasha and Connie entertained Hange with stories of their everyday life. They told her about the time they pulled a prank on Jean and almost made him believe he grew ten inches taller overnight and spoke of an arm wrestling match between Mikasa and Levi that Levi, to his immense shame, had lost.

They talked so animatedly, described everything with such vivid details that Hange felt like she actually had been present when all of it had happened.

Truthfully, she desperately wanted to.

"Thanks for the meal, guys," breathing heavily, Hange sat back in a chair. She turned her face away, unable to even stare at the food. Sasha was right, the food Moblit brought her - as good as it was - didn't compare to Niccolo's. As a result, she was completely stuffed. "It was delicious."

"And talking with you had been fun," Connie said.

"It's good to see you again," Sasha admitted with a kind smile that warmed Hange’s heart.

Sasha and Connie managed to make feel better than she had been in days since Liberio. Truth be told, they made her feel better than she had been since leaving the island all these years ago.

The kids rose from their seats, moving in perfect sync.

Just like twins, Hange thought with another smile.

They moved around the table, picking up the plates.

"You go, Sasha," Connie spoke as soon as they finished. "I'll catch up with you."

"Eh?" Sasha frowned. "What do you—"

"Go," he gave her a push, still refusing to meet her gaze. "I need a moment with Hange-san."

"And why must you throw me away..." Sasha complained , shaking her head. She gave Connie another look, filled with suspicion, huffed in annoyance and then walked out of the dungeons, leaving them alone.

Connie waited until the sound of a large metal door closing was heard and then looked up at Hange.

"Hange-san," the boy seemed a bit nervous. Hange wondered about the reason for a sudden change in his demeanor. She wanted to ask, but Connie suddenly appeared beside her. Without giving her time to react, he wrapped his arms around her. Hange stood still, not knowing how to react. "Thank you for saving Sasha,” he whispered. “I don't know what I would have done without her."

Oh god, again? Were those kids going to make her cry again? She had to resist it. She was a Marleyan soldier, one of the strongest and toughest they had. She could do it.

But then Connie had the gall to press his forehead to her shoulder, sniffling quietly, and Hange felt her resolve shutter.

She quickly wiped at her eyes. "I'm glad I managed to get there in time,” she said, more honest that she had been in a long time. “This world would have lost a lot of light if Sasha was gone."

"My world would be completely dark," Connie agreed, letting go of her. He took a step back, looking at Hange with a wistful smile that reminded her that he wasn’t the same naive boy anymore. None of them were. "Thank you again. I meant it when I say it’s good to have you back. We’ve all missed you terribly, Hange-san.”

Thankfully, he left before her face became covered in tears once again.

***

Jean came to her too. Many times, actually. He paced around the cell, he touched the bars, pulled on them.

But he never entered.

He tried to be sneaky about it too, coming down to the dungeons well after midnight. But his steps were too heavy, and Hange was a spy, and before that – a soldier. She was trained to be a light sleeper practically since birth.

However, she said nothing. Giving him the time he needed was the least she could do. Besides, she knew Jean. The boy was not a coward, she knew he’d certainly come around.

And on the fourth day since the Raid on Liberio, he finally did.

He marched inside her cell, looking like a man going to war.

"Why did you do it?" he slammed his hands on the table, right under Hange's nose.

She slowly looked up from a book she was reading. "You have to be more specific, Jean. I did a lot of things."

"Sasha!" he said with barely conceived rage. "Why did you save her?"

Hange put the book down and crossed her legs at the ankles. She looked at Jean carefully, raising an eyebrow. "You didn't want me to?"

"That's not it!" Jean growled. He shook his head and then continued in a much calmer voice. "You know that's not what I meant.”

Plopping down on a chair next to Hange, he hid his face in his hands and took a deep breath. "I just don't understand it..." he muttered. "We probably wouldn't have hurt those kids even if they did harm Sasha. So why did you do it? Why did you save her?"

Hange sighed. The answer was fairly simple. But everything it entailed – not so much.

"I didn't want her to die."

Jeans studied her pensively. "Isn't that what every Marleyan wishes for? To kill as much Eldians as they can? They sent you here with the same reason, no?"

Hange gave him a sharp look. "No. My mission was to survey and investigate. I wasn't ordered to harm or kill you."

Truth was - she probably wouldn't be able to, even if ordered.

Getting too soft, Zoe, a voice that resembled Zeke's sneered in her head. Hange ignored it, swatting it away like an irritating fly.

"God, you really are making this so hard for me," Jean mumbled, shaking his head.

"What exactly?"

"Hating you," Jean replied. "I spent four years hating you. You and Berthold and Annie and Reiner... I despised them for betraying us, for lying and pretending, but you... Your betrayal shook me to the core. I thought I was ready for it, you know?" he looked at her, staring right into her eyes and showing her all of his raw emotions. Hange hated herself just a little more for causing him so much distress. "I thought that after Reiner and Berthold, nothing can hurt me. But I trusted you so much. I respected and admired you. Between unwavering Commander Erwin and aloof Captain Levi, I thought you're the only one who gives a damn about us."

Hange stared back at him, not knowing what to say. Tell him that he wasn't wrong? That, despite everything - her orders, her beliefs and upbringing - she still cared? A lot of good her care did.

“I looked up to you, you know?" Jean continued, gazing up at the ceiling with a bitter smile. "Thought you're a real badass. Well, you still are, for what it's worth. Managed to fool us all, I couldn't believe it, when Captain told us that you left. No one could. Commander Erwin even wanted to call off the expedition to Shiganshina."

Erwin wanted to call off the expedition? The stoic, cold-blooded Erwin? She had trouble believing it was true.

And her heart was having trouble shouldering all that pain. She really was a piece of shit, wasn’t she? She played with their feelings, betrayed those, who actually cared about her, and for what? For a nation whose only motivation was greed, for a war that was justified solely by prejudices?

“He didn’t name another successor, by the way,” Jean revealed. “Technically, we still don’t have a Commander. I guess no one could fill those shoes, except you.”

“Please,” Hange scoffed. “I would have done a terrible job.”

“You’re selling yourself too short,” Jean protested, shaking his head. “Commander Erwin himself believed in you. That's gotta count for something."

"Erwin didn't know me."

It was Jean's turn to scoff. "Are we talking about the same Erwin Smith? The myth, the legend?" he rolled his eyes. "He may not know everything, but he knew you. Enough to entrust his legacy to you. You're not as bad as I was making you out to be, Hange-san. Actually," Jean tilted his head, his eyes softening. "You're not as bad as you think you are."

Hange turned her face away, hiding from his intent gaze. Jean’s words stroke a chord she didn’t she think she still possessed. So pathetic. After all these years, and she still yearned for acceptance.

"You never did any harm to us,” Jean went on. “Never hurt us, at least not physically. You helped us a lot actually. Your research and inventions… Have you realized what you were doing? I think some part of you certainly has."

"Besides, after all that shit that's been going on, we can't exactly be called good guys either,” he sighed, pushing the hair back from his face. “Maybe, you and I have more in common that I'd like to think.”

Again, Hange was at a loss for words. Should she thank him for making her feel better? No, she was already pitiful enough.

"Just something to think about," Jean finished, getting to his feet.

He fixed his uniform, brushing the invisible dust from his shoulders. Hange stole a glance at him, marveling at how much he had changed. If she had been his commander, she’d be so proud of him. He had grown into a smart, kind man. Perhaps, a little too kind, she thought, recalling their conversation.

"I've never thought I'd say this," just before leaving, Jean turned to Hange, his hand gripping the bar of her cell. "But I'm glad our paths have crossed again. It looks like there are still lots of things I can learn from you."

***

At last, Levi came.

Hange didn't hear him enter the dungeons. She was in the middle of reading a book when she got a strange, prickling feeling. She looked up, almost jumping as she instantly met Levi's grey eyes. They seemed especially cold this time. Have they always been like this? She was sure they weren’t. At least, not when they were directed at her.

As their gazes connected, he said nothing. He continued to watch her, and the weight of his gaze was so heavy, she felt like she couldn't breathe.

"Erwin is dead," he finally said. Impossible, but his eyes became even colder. "Killed at Shiganshina. Did you know that?"

"I read the report."

She wasn't present at the battle, Zeke had advised against that.

"It's too dangerous for you, Professor," he had said. "Attack Titan, Ackermans and those scouts, it would be best if you sit this one out. It'd be a shame if we lost a mind as brilliant as yours. Besides," his lips curled into smirk then, a knowing glint appearing in his eyes. To this day, Hange wasn't sure if he had been joking or not. "You lived with them for so long, your feelings are compromised. I'm sure you're filled with desire to kill them all."

Funny thing, Hange thought back then. Because if she had been thrusted into that battle - she wasn't sure she'd be able to fight for the side she was supposed to.

"In a report?" Levi sneered. "Your buddy Zeke must have bragged to hell and back about it."

Levi's words, even filled with so much distain and mockery, weren't that far from the truth. The voyage back to Marley had not been a happy affair. They almost lost Zeke, they almost lost Reiner, they've lost Berthold. Sweet, timid Berthold, Hange liked him so much. After Pieck's titan, his colossal was the most intriguing test subject. Soft and caring Bertold died, and she could only imagine how hard it was for Reiner. The poor boy didn’t speak throughout the whole journey back home.

“After being away for so long, you’d think he’d be happy that the mission is finally over,” Pieck noted, whispering her observations in Hange’s ear. “But then again,” she turned to her, her sharp eyes narrowing ever so slightly. “You don’t look so excited either.”

Hange paid her no mind then, even if Pieck had suspected something, what of it? She was going home, and those Eldians – those people she lived with for five years – didn’t matter anymore. But Reiner did, and Hange watched him, intently, wondering what she could do to make him feel better. She wanted to comfort him, she even approached him and words "I know how it feels" almost slipped down her tongue. But she stopped herself at the very last moment. I know how it feels. Did she really?

She lost people before - a tall blonde man with a goofy smile who gave the best hugs, a blond woman with the most infectious laughter, the adorable petite girl who always looked at her with stars in her eyes, a cheerful young man in glasses who copied most of her gimmicks, the serious brunette who followed her every command - with every loss a part of her soul died, but could she really call them friends? They did not know her, and if they did, they would have never accepted her.

He wouldn’t have accepted you too, a malicious voice whispered in her ear.

The proof of that statement was staring her down at the very same moment.

Unable to escape Levi’s seething gaze, Hange remembered what Zeke had told her then, when she regrouped with them at Shiganshina.

“You did not mention those scouts are that crazy. To sacrifice so many people just for a chance of victory?” Zeke had scoffed, cleaning his glasses. “I just can’t understand it.”

You never will, Hange thought back then. Those brave, young soldiers. Her heart bled for them.

“And that Ackerman,” he continued. “To think they call me a beast titan. I thought I was done for. All that rage and blind hatred and all of it because of some Commander.”

“Erwin Smith.”

“What?”

“His name was Erwin Smith,” Hange repeated, her voice brimming with emotion. She blinked away tears. She would not cry, not right now. Not when Zeke was looking at her so closely. “And he wasn’t just some Commander.”

She left Zeke’s side quickly afterwards, afraid that she’d be unable to hold back her own rage. Some Commander? Erwin was much more than that. Even as Marleyan, she was able to understand that.

“Did you know about Mike too?” Levi asked, pushing himself off the wall he was leaning against. “And about Nanaba?”

She did, of course, she did. Zeke had sent her the letter, retelling everything he did to Mike in horrid, morbid details. Reading that letter, Hange struggled not to throw up. She could almost hear his screams, could almost see the horror in his eyes.

To not be simply eaten by a titan, but getting torn apart by them? Hange couldn’t imagine a fate more horrible.

The terror of it all didn’t leave her for the longest time. It was only in his arms – in Levi’s strong, gentle arms – that she managed to find some respite. She hated herself for it, but when he wiped her tears with his lips, whispering soft, soothing words in her ear, she could almost pretend to forget.

“And about Ragako?”

Amidst her inner turmoil, Hange missed the moment when Levi entered the cell. Now he was standing right beside her, looming over with dark, angry expression.

“Did you know about those people? About what was going to happen to them?” Levi wasn’t an expressive man, but his eyes showed it all. In a life where she pretended to be a mad scientist and a survey corps’ squad leader, she prided herself at being one of the few, who could read those eyes. But she could see nothing inside them right now. Levi’s face was completely blank, his emotions closed off. “Did you know what was going to happen to Connie’s mother?”

That was it, the final nail in her coffin.

And to think that just the other day, the boy was thanking her. Her, who condemned his mother, who destroyed his home.

Hange closed her eyes, taking a deep, shaky breath. She gripped the chair under her tightly, quelling the trembling. She would not break, not in front of him.

“What do you want, Levi?” she glanced at him beneath her hair. “What do you wish to hear? That I reveled in every death? That I sneaked out to the island to dance at Erwin’s grave?”

Levi pressed his lips in a line, a deep scowl forming on his forehead.

It was the same expression he had when looking at Zeke, Hange realized.

She thought her heart couldn’t break anymore. Apparently, he was wrong.

“I’m just wondering,” he said. “If there was ever anything sincere in you. Have you even felt something? After all these deaths, do you at least feel guilty?”

“If that’s what you think of me?” she looked him in the eyes, surprised to see something coming alive inside them. “If I’m a monster you think I am, what was the point of bringing me here? Why haven’t you just killed me? Surely that would have given you some peace of mind.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Levi surged forward, grabbing her by the collar. His grey eyes bore in hers with intensity that she had rarely seen. Inside them was an emotion she couldn’t quite decipher. “Shut your stupid mouth, four-eyes. Do you really not get it? After everything you put me through, after all these fucking lies, I’d still rather die than harm you.”

He pushed her away, turning on his heels and storming out of the cell. To the sound of his quick, heavy steps, Hange slowly slid to the ground. Her knees gave under her, as she realized – it was not anger that she had seen in Levi’s eyes.

It was pain.

“Fuck,” she murmured, hiding her face in her hands.

[000bachelor]

quick bugsnax headcanons that i’ll probs doodle at a later date also cuz im bored and finished all my e learning assignments and college admission forms

FILBO: - Has a very good home life and two parents that adore him dearly. They as well made Filbo the caring dunce that he is towards others, even if they may not treat him so kindly back. - Is good at writing, has always has wanted to author his own books one day, and he uses this skill and passion to aid the Journalist in their entries. - Develops a weenie-phobia upon leaving Snaktooth. Weenies of all shapes, types, and sizes scare him.  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

BEFFICA: - She’s a makeup guru.  - Def follows GrumpTube drama/tea channels. - Likely owns an abandoned Tumblr/Blogspot from 2012 dedicated to her favorite fandoms and celebrities at the time. She keeps them up as a painful memory of her existence and past life. - Her parents were not the best, and could be described as emotionally neglectful and narcissistic.

GRAMBLE: - Vegan; once brought a tofurkey to a ‘Friendsgiving’ after the events at Snaktooth. Everyone stared at him the entire dinner. - Rescues animals post-Snaktooth. Owns a large ranch home to house them all. - Dresses up in layers of clothing due to a bad fur-plucking and skin-picking habit derived from childhood abuse and trauma. - Knits everyone ugly sweaters and articles during the holidays. Wiggle owns 12.

CROMDO:

- Has not paid his taxes since 1996 and another reason why he joined the Snaktooth expedition was to avoid the IRS. - Raised by a single mother who worked 2 jobs and with 3 other siblings in poor living conditions, leading him to become greedy for dirty lucre as an adult. - Definitely has 2 cats named Aykroyd and Belushi being pet-sat and waiting for him at home. - Owns a 1993 Honda Civic with a busted right taillight and a miscolored driver’s side door with fuzzy dice hanging off the rearview. He has gotten several traffic violations and his license suspended twice.

WAMBUS: - Still won’t admit that he really liked Gramble’s Friendsgiving tofurkey. - Is on the fence when it comes to children... Triffany wants one.. Or several. - Owns an unhealthy amount of succulents and cacti both outside and inside his and Triffany’s property. They all have names.

TRIFFANY: - She enjoys foraging while out on her expeditions. Surprisingly quite skilled when it comes to identifying and using/cooking the fauna she forages. - Speaking of cooking, she’s an excellent cook/baker.. Wambus goes head-over-heels for her peach cobbler. - Grew up in the city, so it took her awhile to get used to country life with Wambus. - Definitely has dug up and proudly displays some legit haunted shit. Wambus does not like it.

WIGGLE: - Was def a theatre kid in school. - She is not only a great singer/songwriter, but also a talented dancer, and gymnast. - Eats like a goddamn horse but is incapable of putting on a single ounce. - Proudly wears the ugly sweaters Gramble has knitted for her in public.

CHANDLO: - His Spotify lags because he has created an inhuman amount of playlists, mainly used for when he works out. - He really likes anime, and tries to hide this from Snorpy. Snorpy knows. He knows about Chandlo’s Crunchyroll subscription and Fire Emblem figures. - He has drunk pruno out of a dirty gymshoe during a frat party. - Much to Snorpy’s annoyance, he places bets on basketball games. ALL THE TIME.

SNORPY: - Is married to Chandlo post-Snaktooth but still wonders if they are, indeed, boyfriend and boyfriend. - Has wrapped his phone in tinfoil in fear of the ‘5G’ signals. - Constantly competed with Floofty when it came to school; who got higher marks, ect. - Has a bandaid wrapped around the bridge of his glasses because Floofty, out of anger, slapped them off his nose and broke them during a petty argument.

FLOOFTY: - Has tried to not only saw off their head, but open up their own chest to see if, indeed, their heart was cold like their demeanor. - Locked Snorpy in a clothing drawer when they were little. - Learned how to read, write, and speak coherent syllables and sentences at 8 months old. - Can probably speak 16 different languages.

SHELDA: - Definitely hits the hookah. You cannot dismiss this. This is the truth. - Her meditations sometimes go on for hours, in which she will sit completely still and in place without any washroom breaks/eating/resting. - Totally believes in crystal healing and can read tarots. - Antivax.

LIZBERT: - Caffeine addict; Eggabelle has strained on her drinking tea instead but Liz refuses while dunking down her fourth mug of the day. - Got her adventurous persona from her father, who she as well got her signature hat and scarf from. - Has climbed Mt. Everest but STILL was not satisfied. She got hypothermia on her right paw and had to get half her thumb amputated. - Chipped her tusk in a stupid way; she tripped on her own foot and fell down the stairs while trying to catch a new episode of Expedition Unknown. She just lied in interviews to make herself sound cooler.

EGGABELLE: - She is albino. - Has done fake check-ups on children’s stuffed toys while working her shifts in the pediatric center for overtime. - Stopped taking her anti-depressants upon the events at Snaktooth, leading her to temporarily go cold turkey.

[hatsukeii]

【Ｙｏｕｒ　ｎｅｗ　ｂｏｙｆｒｉｅｎｄ－　Ｄａｙ　１】

Word count: 6.2k+

【Ｄｅｃｅｍｂｅｒ　２５，　２０２０】

【２：３９　ａｍ】 Nearing the end of the seemingly indestructible health bar of this stupid resurgent cryo regisvene, Changbin lets out an audible growl, tapping furiously, almost murderously at his phone screen. “Cmonnnn you persistent piece of shit, just bite the dust already like the normal one...” His voice trails off as every drip of focus is directed back on his game. 

“Which one do you think it is this time Seungmin?” Jisung taunts from the kitchen of the shared apartment, watching the coffee drip into his cup from the ancient coffee machine at a snail’s pace (He had been insisting on having Changbin get a new one for the past three, four months but the latter had been persistent to keep it instead of “wasting money on a new one”). Seungmin yells from inside his room, the sound of keyboard clicking along with the occasional growling and mumbling exposing what he was doing- League of Legends. “You think I would know? I don’t even know the game he’s playing.” “He’s been at it for the past three days Seungmin, it’s obviously the same ice thing he won’t shut up about.” Minho deadpans, tenderly lowering the three cats in his arms onto the couch. “Now my babies, don’t touch the madman next to you, or I’m going to have to do the dishes tonight, kay? He’s our main dishwasher, let’s not try anything funny.” The three cats collectively look up at their owner as he cooes softly at the felines. With the last of his party completely obliterated, Changbin throws his phone across the couch, startling the cats as they jump off hastily, earning a piercing glare from Minho. “We’ll talk about this later, Seo Changbin.” “My god, I give up, I’ll just get Chan hyung to do it for me tomorrow.” What even went through Mihoyo headquarters when they created this boss? Did the development department just decide to throw everything into one giant boss fight? 

As he wallows in defeat, his ringtone blares where it sadly lies from being thrown across the couch, the annoying “We just got a letter!” song from Blue’s Clues (He had a feeling that the annoying children’s song would aid in motivating him to actually pick the phone up instead of ignoring people then texting them out of sluggishness) playing on loop the longer he chooses not to answer. “Will you just shut up?” Aggressively snatching his phone, he takes a quick glance at the caller, before picking up. “(Y/n), what do you wan-” 

A few audible sniffles can be heard from the other side of the line. 

“Changbinnie, he cheated on me.” 

Changbin deadpans, not sure he’s hearing things right.

“Hello? Binnie?”

The words hitting him like a truck, he bolts up from where he once sat, hand gripping the phone so hard veins were popping.

“That motherfucker did what?”

His voice rings clear throughout the unit, both Jisung and Minho flinching at the sudden burst of noise. “Jesus Christ keep it down Changbin, the whole apartment complex can hear your annoying voice.” Minho complains, picking up one of his dear cats and stroking its ears. “Soonie ah, that idiot’s yell didn’t hurt your ears did it? Aigoo my baby, it’s okay, it was just stupid horse-faced Changbin, it’s okay my baby boo...” Jisung rolls his eyes, taking a sip from his pitch black coffee. Wincing, he sets the mug down, running to the fridge to get creamer. “Changbin hyung, did you get the wrong creamer again? I told you to get the vanilla one, this one’s dairy free!” Changbin lowers his phone, covering the speaker. “Why the fuck are you even drinking coffee at this hour? Go buy your own fucking creamer if you want it so much then!” “I’m broke hyung! Plus the campus convenience store and the supermarket are closed already, use your pea brain!” “Use milk and sugar Jisung! I’m busy!” Returning to the call, he makes his way into his room, not wanting to have to deal with the two parasites outside. “Tell me everything (Y/n), oh he’s bruising for a cruising playing with your feelings like that-”

A sob passes through the speaker.

“I was just trying to check on him-”

“Scratch that, I’ll be there in twenty, don’t do anything stupid by yourself.”

Shoving the door of his room out of his way, he storms towards the three refrigerators in the kitchen, the other three people in the unit following him in sight (Seungmin heard the commotion and decided to come out of his man cave for once to assess the situation). He pushes Jisung to the side, pulling open the doors to the biggest one. “Soju... soju... soju... there it is.” He untangles the biggest plastic bag he can find from the huge bag on top of the fridge (Minho seems to collect plastic bags at this point, it’s getting annoying) and shoves just about all the bottles of soju he can fit into the flimsy piece of plastic. Moving on to the next fridge, he slams the previous one close, startling Jisung. “Hyung, are you okay?” Changbin ignores him, scrambling to grab the two family sized tubs of ice cream. “Hyung, that’s the last of our ice cream-” Yet again ignoring Jisung’s complaint, he makes his way to the pantry, throwing in the most tooth rottingly sweet candies he can find, a few bags of those honey butter chips and all of Jisung’s cup ramens. In the past couple of minutes, Seungmin had picked up on the situation on hand. He whisper yells at Jisung, making weird gestures to catch his attention. Once his eyes meet Jisungs’s, he frantically jerks his head towards the rooms (It’s like some secret bro code the two have). Jisung picks up on the message, shutting up and shuffling to his room along with Seungmin, before locking their bedroom doors. After his expedition in the kitchen, Changbin goes back to his room, just to grab a duffel bag to put everything in. He takes his switch and the dock, his laptop, and throws his phone into the mix (Both Jisung and Minho agree that Changbin needs to stop abusing his phone, Seungmin doesn’t really care). The only one left in the living room watches as he angrily puts his shoes on, and slams the front door just a little too aggressively as he goes. Hearing the front door close, the two younger boys come out of hiding, finally safe from their scarily furious friend. “My cup noodles... Minho hyung my cup noodles....” “Let’s just wait for him to buy them for us again, leave him alone for now.”

【３：００　ａｍ】 It’s been exactly 21 minutes since you had called Changbin and he is now furiously knocking at your door because 1) You need moral support, clearly, 2) He didn’t bring all the food and risk getting the life nagged out of him when he goes back for nothing, and 3) Your ex boyfriend’s new chick is about to receive a very explicit call from a very angry person. “Oi (Y/n), it’s Changbin, open up.” From inside, you wrap your Armin futon throw blanket around your tired body, before waddling to the front door to your apartment. Gripping the blanket together with one hand, you twist the doorknob with the other and pull. It’s almost like one of those slot machines you would always see in dramas. You pull the lever with all the might you can muster during this trying time and BAM! You hit the jackpot and an angry Changbin comes into sight. He looks scary, almost. His demeanor could probably kill right now if you didn’t know better. “Come in... yeah come on in....” His hand loosens around the duffel bag, dropping it on the floor while he gets his shoes off. You penguin waddle back to where you were sitting on the couch, picking up the crumpled tissues and throwing them out. “Make yourself at home.” You feel a stare burn into your back as you step off the bin pedal. “I’m here, now tell me everything that happened with this asshole.”

“So what I’m getting from this is that Junwoo fucker said he was going out to get groceries, which was a lie at that time but you didn’t know. He took a suspiciously long time so you, being the paranoid ass person you are, went to check on him, only to see him making out with some hussey that wouldn’t stop making moves on him during that dumb lecture you had in the afternoon, correct?” You nod, tears starting to form again for the fourth- no, was it the fifth? About the fifth time in the past minute or so that you spent explaining the situation. “(Y/n), sweetie, I’m gonna need the name of the hussey.” “No, you’re going to do something stupid.” “I wasn’t asking, give it.” You give Changbin a stink eye, acting like you were completely against whatever he has in mind despite actually being curious to see what he has planned (An angry Changbin is a scary Changbin but a rare one also). “It’s Jimin from the dance team.” His mouth hangs open in disbelief. “No, he did NOT!” You nod solemnly, sniffing.  "He cheated on you for that slut?” “Binnie! That’s rude!” “Oh please, I don’t like to disrespect women but you know that it’s true.” That shuts you up instantly. He’s not wrong, so far she’s been caught up in the middle of way too many relationships to count. She’s pretty much notorious for sleeping with people’s boyfriends now. Horrid, really, she knows what she’s doing and she enjoys it. Changbin practically rips the zipper off his duffel bag and snatches his poor, abused phone, before scrolling through his contacts to find Jimin (He would delete her contact from his phone if he could, really. He’s tried, but she hit on him so hard on campus as a threat that he kept it just to be safe. Quite honestly though, he doesn’t really care now). “Binnie, no-” He puts the call on speaker, his feet tapping at the floor impatiently. “Bitch, you better pick up before I find you and pick it up for you-” 

“Hello?” 

His face lights up when he hears Jimin’s voice from the other side of the line. “Oh yeah hi! Here’s your friendly Changbin reminder that your new boyfriend’s an asshole!” You can almost see the sneer that Jimin has on her face. “Uh, and who are you to say that? Twink.” Your mind doesn’t even let you properly process what she said because Changbin’s already retaliating. “Oh, you know, just from his ex partner he was cheating on, but you can state your arguments if you’d like. Also that wasn’t very nice, calling me a twink, considering you hit on me every day on campus.” Changbin’s aura goes borderline murderous when a chuckle sounds from the speaker. “Oh? Them? He could do better anyways.” “Okay listen here you little slut, I’m gonna be honest with you, because no one ever will. Any guy that says they’re in any way interested in you beyond just using you as a fuck toy, is full of bullshi-” 

You slam your finger onto the big red button before he can say anything more. 

Changbin’s seething with anger, even though he isn’t showing it. You know that because 1) He’s oddly calm in this situation and 2) He just openly called one of the most known people in the college a slut. “Seo Changbin, calm yourself down. Please.” Those were some harsh words he said to Jimin, it was completely out of his usually good natured, well spoken character. He closes his eyes, taking a few deep breaths, before grabbing a flimsy white plastic bag out from the duffel bag. He shoots his hand to the bottom, grabbing one of the 15 bottles of soju he brought over. He wrenches open the bottle cap, before chugging half the bottle in one sitting. “How much stuff did you bring?” Changbin really is oddly stable considering he had just gotten called a twink and went off at someone through the phone. “About 15 bottles of soju, two tubs of ice cream, a few bags of those honey butter chips, all the cup ramens in the pantry, and a bunch of those Hi-Chews that I know you love because you keep taking them from me and eating them in class.” He grabs another bottle of soju from the plastic bag, as well as a pack of Hi-Chews. “Drink?” You sulk, taking the green bottle from him while he rips open a pack of candies, popping one in his mouth. “Damn, on Christmas day too, what an ass, Junwoo.” You roll your eyes, taking in a mouthful of alcohol from the bottle. “You’re so stupid Binnie, she’s going to ruin your life because of that stupid call.” “Me? Stupid? The only stupid thing here is you managing to stay with Junwoo for an entire year. I knew he was toxic from the start. Besides, what’s Jimin going to do? She’s got nothing on me. I might as well be the only person that hasn’t sent her nudes or something.” 

It sounds harsh, almost mean, but you know that he’s not lying. Your ex boyfriend was the most toxic, manipulative person you’ve ever been with yet you stayed with him for over a year, it’s unbelievable, really. 

“Can I take a cup ramen?” Changbin doesn’t even spare a glance at you, he’s typing away on his phone (Looks like the nagging has started, one could never expect no complaints after taking all the comfort food from the kitchen). “No, you can’t. I brought all this food because it’s three in the morning and I suddenly want to eat at your house. Of course you can, this is about you, do whatever you want.” You grab one of the cups from the bag, before sluggishly making your way to the kitchen to boil water. Seeing that you left your seat, Changbin empties out the plastic bag, before discarding all the rubbish that you left behind prior to his arrival. Tissues, boxes, chocolate wrappers, everything, he throws them all into the white bag. “That should do.” Ripping open a pack of honey butter chips (Minho needs to chill out about him taking a few packs considering he bulk bought these in boxes. One pack won’t hurt), he takes one, before setting it down and waiting for you to return.

Meanwhile, the remaining three in Changbin’s apartment have just received a reply. “Hey... hey hEY HEY WE GOT A TEXT BACK EVERYONE!” Both Seungmin and Minho gather around Jisung and his phone. “Changbin hyung says he’s not coming back tonight and that he’ll restock the food he took when he’s back, what do we do?” The two young ones look expectantly at Minho, as if he would have any good advice. “I don’t know, should I give him a call-” “Are you mad? He’s going to tear you to shreds hyung, don’t waste your life like that!” Minho sighs in exasperation. “Then we’ll just have to wait for him to be back.” Seungmin and Jisung look to the floor almost guiltily. “He won’t even tell us what happened... how are we supposed to do anything about it?” “You don’t, that’s what you do, you don’t do anything about it until he calms down and tells us about it. Now Seungmin, stop playing your games and Jisung, stop doing solo karaoke and go to sleep.”

【５：５８　ａｍ】 “This is going to be the first and last night you get to be this unhealthy, we’re using healthy coping mechanisms instead of… whatever the fuck this is.” You look at him, a mouthful of ramen hanging from your food vacuum as you slurp it up loudly (For context, you’ve managed to go through four cup ramens, two bags of chips, a pack of Hi-Chews, and an additional three bottles of soju to wash it all down. The two tubs of ice cream remain untouched in the freezer. In other words, you were binge eating, all while being shit faced drunk). The TV blares from in the front of the living room, the Mario Kart theme playing on loop. Your controller sits on the coffee table, completely unattended as you get busy with eating. “Haaaaah? I need the junk food Binnie, it’s all a part of recovery!” Changbin clicks his tongue, before flicking your forehead. “That’s just a shitty excuse to be unhealthy, we don’t stan that.” Frowning, you snatch a few chips with your chopsticks and shove them in your mouth grumpily. “Now, where were we... ah! Yeah! Prepare for another devastating loss Binnie! You shall not come out victorious!” (Cmon, you really think you could beat Changbin in Mario Kart drunk? Hunny, he was losing on purpose.) He lets out a breathy chuckle, before picking you up bridal style, walking to your room, and throwing you onto your bed. “That’s about enough for now, go to sleep. I already know your hangover tomorrow’s going to be absolutely horrible.” You whine, tossing and turning. “But I don’t wanna go to sleeeeeeep... I wanna win again... I wanna playyyyy... gamess....” And with that your voice trails off. “Idiot, you would just pass out halfway.” He closes the door behind him as he leaves your room, but not before gently releasing the console from your warm, clammy hands. Coming to terms with what he has to do next, Changbin massages his neck when he sees the absolute mess of a living room. “Now, where do we start?” All the homework and study cramming is about to come in handy as he starts to clean up all the rubbish left sitting around. He sets his eyes on your pink blanket. It’s 2°C out, his nose is prickly and red as he sneezes, and he still quickly notices an alcoholic smell wafting out from the pink throw blanket. Reaching over to feel it, the fabric is slightly damp under his touch. “Jesus Christ, you for sure spilled soju over this thing. Tag... tag... tag....” his hand roams around the thick blanket, feeling for a laundry tag. He whips his phone out, searching for a laundry care symbol guide (It’s been a while since he’s done laundry properly. Seungmin is in charge of doing everyone’s laundry since he contributes the least). “40°C water at the highest, tumble dry on low.... alright.” He bunches up the blanket, the fabric hanging to the floor from his arms. Trying to get to the laundry room hurriedly, he almost trips over the soft material, stomping on the floor obnoxiously loud to regain his balance (The neighbours are going to seriously hate him for this). He throws it into the washing machine and slams the compartment door shut. Scanning the room for detergent, he deadpans when he sees where it’s located. “Why would you put it that high up in the shelf? You’re not even that tall-” He tries everything, from standing on his tiptoes, to jumping in order to reach it. All those attempts end in vain, and he resorts to his final trick- climbing on top of the washing machine. “Cmon, just a feeeew more millimeters-” The dust from the top of the cabinet along with the temperature causes him to sneeze profusely, almost losing his balance. But with a hook of his fingers, he manages to push the bottle out, before grabbing it and using the bottle to push another bottle of dettol out. He wrenches open the lids, before clumsily pouring out the needed amounts, but not without spilling it on the floor. Cursing, he quickly sets the washing machine for a one hour cycle. He then grabs a random towel from on top of the machine and wipes the floor now. “I guess it’s squeaky clean now, you did good Changbin, you did good. Go me.” With one job done, he makes his way back to the living room. The main area is so messy that Changbin has to form a proper plan on how to clean everything up with the highest efficiency. He grabs the ramen cups, draining out the soup and throwing them out. The chopsticks clank together when they hit the kitchen sink as he turns the tap on. He grabs a sponge, soaking it in water and squeezing detergent onto it, before scrubbing the chopsticks clean. With the dishwashing done, he staggers his way towards the coffee table. He’s tired. He’s so fucking tired that his eyes are about to betray his mind. His arms are numb and the floor is wobbling from beneath his feet. He sneezes a few more times, sniffling. He sighs, wiping his nose and warming it up with the sleeve of his hoodie. If anyone pushes him with a bit of effort, he’ll probably fall over and pass out, but he absolutely refuses to let you wake up to a messy living room. He makes use of the vibrant Mario Kart podium segment still blaring on the TV to keep himself awake while he works on cleaning everything up. Seeing that the sky has progressed from pitch black to a beautiful, yet dreadful shade of aegean blue, he’s pretty sure he won’t be getting any sleep any time soon.

【７：４７　ａｍ】 You cough yourself awake to the burning stench of smoke. The world really said “Lol your life is burning and crumbling down” and took it a little too seriously. Fire, fire, fire, what’s the worst that could happen? Fire needs to give itself a vibe check, can’t it see that you don’t have the energy to deal with it right now? You squeeze your brows together and pull your sheets back over your body. If not for the panicked yelling from outside you would’ve stayed in bed and just waited for whatever fire was burning to reach your room. Hearing Changbin’s chain of swears and curses, you shoot up, more worried for him than for yourself. “CHANGBIN!” You get no reply. You’re horrified, probably both from the hangover working its magic at making you more paranoid and sensitive than you already are, and the possibility that the apartment’s going to burn down. You scramble to the kitchen, choking when you reach the hallway. The amount of smokiness in the living room makes it impossible to see anything clearly. One thing is for sure- there is no fire. What there is though, is a very startled Changbin squatting next to a tray of what looks like charcoal. 

“Binnie, what the fuck did you do?” 

Poor boy, he looks like a lost puppy, a small pout evident on his face. “I was trying to make you breakfast, but I think I set the oven to the wrong temperature, turns out it doesn’t take that much heat to toast bread.” Pinching your nose, you take a glance at the oven. “Changbin I- why is it set to 250 degrees?” “I just told you, I don’t think toast needs that much heat!” It’s almost funny how bad he fucked up. You would laugh wholeheartedly if not for the borderline deadly amount of smoke wafting around your apartment. “Changbin, I have a toaster.” “I don’t know how to use it though, it’s too digital and it makes weird noises.” You let out an exasperated sigh (You knew getting a digital toaster was eventually going to lead to some problems), taking the tray out from the oven and discarding the two pieces of what used to be toast. “Binnie, do me a favour and go open up the windows.” Hearing his cue to leave the crime scene, he rushes to the other side of the living room, opening everything up. “It’s been 84 years... fresh air, hello....” You let out a sarcastic chuckle, before throwing out the piece of foil on the tray. You scan your surroundings, everything is in place, the apartment is squeaky clean, your futon is on a drying rack outside on the balcony, and that’s when it hits you. “Changbin, if you tell me you didn’t get any sleep cleaning my place up for me, I will knock you out here and now.” You speed walk towards him faster than Karen walks to the manager, before taking in his features. His eyebags are heavier and darker than usual, his face is pale, his hair is a mess, his eyes focus on nothing in silence. “Seo Changbin!” You snap in front of his face, startling him out of his trancelike state. “Huh? I swear I’m okay, don’t even worry.” His voice is hoarse and nasally, and he sneezes a few times after his statement, sniffling and wiping his nose with his sleeve for the second time this day. You don’t even give him time to move away or protest. Your fingers pinch his ear at the speed of light, before pulling him to your room and practically shoving him onto your bed. “Sleep.” Changbin pouts, curling into a ball. “But I don’t need to sleep! I’m perfectly fine-” “No, you’re not, you almost burned my apartment down messing with the oven tired, sleep.” You don’t wait for a response as you slam the lights off and shut the bedroom door.

【２：２３　ｐｍ】It’s been about seven hours since you practically forced Changbin to sleep, the ending of the final episode of Death Parade reminding you of the time that has passed. “He’s still not up?” Mumbling to yourself, you creak the door to your room open, being as silent as possible. “Changbin?” No reply. The covers don’t even budge the slightest bit. You are so taking a photo of his sleeping face for future uses. The second you pull your phone out, it starts ringing, the recording of Jisung’s impression of Changbin’s iconic “Yoooooh” blaring through the speakers like a concert (The two of you snuck into one of his music project recording sessions without him knowing, music major things am I right). You throw yourself out of the room, picking the phone up. “Hello-” “(Y/n)!” Dear God it’s Jisung, loud as ever. “Where’s Changbin hyung?” Of course he didn’t tell them anything. “He’s here, asleep, I forced him to sleep.” “Okay, when he wakes up tell him that he owes us everything he took from the pantry, and that he should come home, thanks!” “Wait-” And that little shit hangs up on you just like that. You place your phone onto the coffee table, before going back to check on Changbin. Scratch the idea of a photo, you’ll just do it next time. You kneel down next to your bed, placing your palm on his forehead. “You idiot, thank God you didn’t cook and get me sick along with you.” Being a medical science major, you never overlook anybody’s wellbeing, especially not your best friend’s. When you feel his burning forehead, you almost slap him in his sleep. He’s in for it when he eventually wakes up. Trying your best, you pull the blanket out from underneath him (He fell asleep pretty much straight after you shoved him onto the bed). He stirs, mumbling softly. “Where... where am I...? Who... am... I...? Who are... you?” You scrunch your face up, finally ripping the blanket from underneath him. Working quickly, you throw it over him, before turning on the heat setting for the aircon in your room. Doesn’t look like he’s going to wake up anytime soon, he looks like a sleeping baby. Motionless and oddly talkative and soft. In the meantime, you might as well go read over the old messages with Junwoo and cry a little more.

【４：５８　ｐｍ】 It’s been another two hours, your eyes are puffy and red from the crying, Changbin still hasn’t woken up yet. You pick up the ramen cup and drag yourself forcefully from the couch to the kitchen, throwing the soup out along with the cup, and reaching up to find the paracetamol and fever relief patches (Which you bought five packs of at a time for a great buy three get two free deal) from the box of first aid and medical essentials. Taking it out of the box, you keep it in your pocket, just in case. You make your way to your room, opening up your cabinet and grabbing your car keys. You shove those into your pocket as well, before peeling off the wrapper of a fever relief patch and sticking that flat on Changbin’s forehead. You throw on a trenchcoat to cover up the fact that you’re wearing a pyjama shirt with tights, get your boots on, and head over to Jisung’s place.

【５：１７　ｐｍ】“Jisung! Let me in!” You rap at their door until your knuckles hurt and a slightly concerned Minho pulls it open, his three cats following their owner and rubbing their cute little cheeks on your leg. “Oh, it’s you. Come on in, Jisung’s not here, what do you need?” “I just need to grab clothes for Changbin, he won’t stop wiping his nose on his sleeve, it’s gross, and he needs a shower.” “Go ahead.” Shooting Minho a quick thanks, you run into Changbin’s room, rummaging through his drawers and cabinets. For someone with a major obsession with hoodies, he sure doesn’t have many. You randomly grab a pair of sweats, along with a tshirt and the thickest hoodie you can find, before you drop the clothes, letting out a funny sound of embarrassment. “Fuck, Minho!” 

【５：３９　ｐｍ】It’s warm. It’s really warm, in contrast to how Changbin remembers feeling the last time he was awake. What time even is it? He doesn’t have his phone, and he notices that it’s starting to go dark out, looks about 6pm for the typical Korean winter... and the sound of running water? He kicks the blanket off of him (which he doesn’t remember covering himself with), and is welcomed by an oddly warm room for 2°C weather. Did you manage to throw the blanket over him and turn the heater on at some point when he was asleep? A lump forms at his throat at the thought, a tiny smile threatening to show. The light from the bathroom blinds him temporarily when he opens the bedroom door, and as his eyes adjust to the light, he can see you filling up a bathtub with water. “Oh, you’re awake, just in time.” He’s still dazed from the drowsiness as he staggers a little bit into the bathroom. “I got you a change of clothes, underwear and all, and paracetamol there for your fever.” You’re in your trench coat, the one you wouldn’t shut up about after buying, or so he remembers. “Did you go over to mine to get the clothes?” You let out a breathy chuckle, cupping your cheeks sarcastically. “Oh no! I secretly hide a stash of your clothes and underwear in my house! Get in the bath Binnie, I’ll make dinner outside.” He’s hesitant, but as you close the door behind him he can’t help but be welcomed by the bubbly hot bath in front of him.

【６：００　ｐｍ】“Did you take the paracetamol I left in there?” You chuckle a little at the towel hanging around his neck. “You look like one of those hardcore grandpas in animes.” You stir the tiny stone pot in front of you, making sure not to splash the red soup onto your shirt. “Yeah, I took the pill, thanks.” From the corner of your eye, you can see Changbin heading towards the kitchen. “Uh uh uh, stop right there buddy. You are not going anywhere near the kitchen, nope. I know you want to help, but I’m almost done, so just sit your ass down at the coffee table.” He does as you say like an obedient little puppy, sitting down at the wooden table. Putting on a pair of oven mitts, you carefully carry the scorching hot pot and a plastic mat to the table, setting it down while the liquid continues bubbling. “Now you can go in and help me grab the rice and bowls.”  

Changbin once told you that he would never set his eyes on one of your “stupid japanese cartoons” because apparently they're too immature for a 5′6 college student to watch. That’s complete bullshit. He doesn’t even see the kimchi stew drip onto your coffee table because his eyes are glued to Hunter x Hunter which you coaxed him into watching with you. You scoff, mixing the stew into your rice. “Move your spoon Changbin, it’s dripping all over my table.” He snaps out of his trance, hovering his spoon on top of his rice instead. “Poor Ikalgo, all he wanted was to be a squid and have friends....” “Are you going to eat up or not?” You watch as his hand slowly tilts to let the liquid drip into his rice, his eyes not once leaving the tv screen as he mixes it and shoves a spoonful into his mouth. “Ikalgo... you deserve everything. Absolutely everything.” This is a sight, you take your phone out and snap a pic before he notices. “What happened to anime being too immature for you huh?” “Shut up (Y/n).” He retorts, shoving another heaping spoonful of rice into his mouth. “Are you... about to cry?” Changbin continues to stuff his mouth with food, his cheeks puffing up. “Oh my god you’re crying! You’re crying over an anime!” “No I’m not.” He forces himself to mumble out a disagreement with all that food in his mouth, however his watery eyes completely betray him and say otherwise. You stay silent, smirking at him knowingly. “It’s just Ikalgo deserves so much better, if Killua doesn’t become his friend I’m going to stop watching.” He looks so reluctant to admit it that you start laughing, a snort sounding from your nose. “Called it, you’re getting sentimental over a childish fucking anime!” “I’ll kill you if you tell anyone, Seungmin will never let me live this down.” “Thanks for the idea, idiot.”

【１０：４２　ｐｍ】Sentimental hours are open starting from 10:30pm till whenever your body decides to fall asleep. Poor Changbin has been trying to comfort you since then, yet all has been in vain. “Changbinnie, am I really good enough for anyone then? Am I good enough for someone to just stay with me?” No one likes seeing a pretty girl cry, let alone their best friend being said pretty girl. Seeing you cry pulls on his heartstrings. It angers him to the point where all he wants to do is break Junwoo’s face, yet knowing how you wouldn’t like a fight is the only thing stopping him from going along with his desires. “(Y/n), for the last time, you are more than good enough. Please just listen, he was a douchebag all along, you knew that. He didn’t do this because you weren’t good enough for him, he did this because he was selfish and toxic, at least he’s out of your life for good now.” You slump into the mattress further, Changbin staring at you hopelessly. “You can’t keep this up you know, it’s self destructive.” You try your best to move your eyes towards him, but the angle you’re lying in doesn’t allow for that as you feel the strain in the corner of your eye. “For the record I am very much aware of that, thank you.” You feel a hand on the top of your head, stroking your hair softly. “It’s gonna be okay, you’re better off without him and there’s plenty of fish in the sea anyways.” You turn and toss a little bit, shoving your face into and wrapping your arms around his torso while you sulk (If people didn’t know better, they would mistake the two of you for a couple). Your fingers grazing his body sent warm pinpricks up his spine and feathers in his stomach. Changbin’s hand never leaves your head even as you stop sniffling and the room slowly shifts into a comfortable silence. “How is it that you treat me better than how my ex did so for me?” His eyes leave the phone in his other hand to glance at you empathetically. For a moment, he isn’t the witty, sharp tongued Changbin everyone came to know. He hopes you can’t see the almost devastating look on his face as he smiles pitifully, such vulnerability that he will only ever show towards you. “Anyone could treat you better than that guy.” He doesn’t get a verbal reply, but instead receives a string of soft snores slightly muffled by the fabric of his sweater. Satisfied, he has to pry your arms off of him to reach the lights, turning them off. “Binnie, come backkkkkk...” Freezing in his tracks at your words, he sighs, rolling his eyes in slight amusement. He slips himself in bed next to you, getting comfortable with your arms back around his torso. You mumble a few incoherent words, before dosing back to sleep. 

Meanwhile in Changbin’s apartment, Jisung feels a sneeze coming. He braces for the impact, before sneezing once, then twice, then the third time. “Oh my god, it’s happening.” Seungmin side eyes him, giving Jisung a weird look. “Not you with your stupid mind bonds or whatever you call it.” “No I swear, it’s real, three sneezes that’s what I told Changbin hyung would happen if he ever did it.”

Now, the two of you have long since passed out amidst the comfort of your bed. However, let me share you a little secret, You, who were the most reluctant to share your sanctuary with someone else, you’re going to wake up from the best sleep you’ve had in months tomorrow morning.

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[blonde-toddy]

Random and Not So Random thoughts while watching Bridgerton: Season 1, Episode 5

Daphne sneaking in like a thief in the night.

Violet you're just hungover. Raw eggs and garlic Though?

Engaged to a Duke > Engaged to a Prince. That's it. That's Violets only thought.

Daphne you full of shit.

Awe your mama thinks the Duke got in your guts.

Well Violet, if you would actually TALK to your daughters about sex and their bodies. That is truly a tragic flaw.

She is hyped about this wedding though.

Oh Queen...no triumph for your messy ass.

Poor Prince Cormac (I know it's Friedrich).

Oh this is a scandal babe!

Daphne is not here for your childish shit today Eloise.

I kind of really feel bad for the prince and I want him to find a good lady. He's so pure.

Hyacinth little nosey ass.

Really Simon? Late and Drunk? Tear that mf up Lady Danbury. Somebody needs to.

She's trying to be kind....

God the way he looks at her!!! The way his mouth just breaks open is like armor cracking. He loves her truly.....fuckboy just doesn't know how to show it.

Ooooh he pulled his hand away. That hurt.

Fuck you Anthony. Delacroix is intervening now. I love her grifter ass.

Light his ass up, Portia!

Oh Penelope is full of the shade now. Poor girl.

Oh she scheming with her mama. Girl you fucking sneak.

Poor Rose is so confused. I love her though. Wedding planning is HARD!

Oh here comes this bitch Cressida!

She's holding that shit in her pocket for a rainy day. She'll bust their heads about it one day. I'm sure.

The Queen is so about the drama and the prince is just so chill. That bitch up to something.

Simon not accepting a dowry. At least they don't have to pay you to marry her. How romantic.

Oh are y'all buddies again now? Is #teamfuckboy a thing again?

Well your request for an expedited wedding got DENIED in big red letters.

Daphne bout to split a wig.

Violet being oblivious as always and Danbury breaking it all down.

The queen is being petty over her nephew.........just like Danbury says. Give her what she wants. A fucking show.

Heyyyy Benny!

Oh shit you're at the real party now.

Hello Delacroix.

Well fucking A! Get y'all some.

Bisexual Benny? Methinks yes? And I love it.

Wait...... is this an orgy? Go off Benedict.

Drunk ass Simon.....crying because he "trapped" Daphne. Boy. I feel like you're complicating the fuck out of this.

Mondrich is such a real one. This world does not deserve Will Mondrich.

Marina is determined that she's gonna trap Colin with a baby that is not his. He's just so pure that it makes me hope she fails at this. All this fucking reproductive evasion is making me uneasy.

But Portia is along for the ride.

Oh fuck, here's the King.

Its crazy to see real sentiment and love in the queen.

Aw fuck that's so sad. To watch the mind come and go in a loved one.

Daphne your ass needs to quit taking nighttime strolls.

Oh here it is. Daphne thinks he's physically unable to have children and that it's a source of great pain for him. Poor girl.

At least Rose is trying to be comforting.

And to be fair, Daphne, you fucking idiots love each other.

From the mouth of babes.

Get yo shit together Simon.

Alice always spitting hot ones. She's a babe.

Plus she's always looking out for her man's.

Aww look at Simon looking at the kids.

Let yo daddy go!

"With these knees, yes, Your Majesty." Danbury is the goat.

Gawd Daphne you are sinking at pleading to the queen.

Simon out here telling y'alls secrets. This man is wild.

Holy fuck what a love confession. It would nicer if he could SAY IT TO HER! AND LOOK AT HER!

Well the queen is biting.

Looks like someone is getting hitched!

Oooooh that music.

Gawd Simon is fine in black velvet. Fuck me he's fine in everything.

Yes look at her while you take that glove off and put that ring on.

They have completely redefined intimacy. Fuck.

Reception time.

She just wants to talk to her man.

Go away Cressida, damn.

Aww Penelope is trying to get Colin out of Marinas crosshairs.

Marina is heavy plotting.

She's really trying to seduce him and he's too honorable.

She got her proposal though.

Queen, Daphne barely knows about masturbating. She doesn't know dick about a wedding night. Pun intended.

Eloise and the queen my gawd.

Benny said don't ask don't tell.

Anthony's ass was the most against this fucking union, and now everything is kosher. Simon didn't want a dowry and now they get to be buddies again. This mf is a complete tool.

Simon, go get your wife.

Nope, just Violet with some more vague bullshit.

You call that a sex talk.

Its natural like rain. Then puppies. Bassett puppies.

Poor Daphne.

Her mom won't tell her shit about sex and her husband won't look at or speak to her.

Bitch gonna be rubbing it out on her wedding night. Poor babe.

Aww now it's time leave your childhood home. Not bittersweet or anything.

Damn he really didn't even tell her they'd be staying at an inn in their wedding night. Simon! Start telling your wife THINGS!

She took that shit right on the chin.

This mf really got separate rooms. She's pissed!

Aw...pacing together but in their separate rooms.

And she goes to the door.....he's at the door, on the other side.

Really Simon?!? DINNER?!?!

Now we're getting somewhere.

Here he goes with the kid lies again.....not feeling that shit Simon.

But fuck.

Fuck me. This love confession. If it ain't this, I don't want it.

The way he growls when he burns. My ovaries are exploding.

Yes! You burn for each other now fucking kiss!

Aw. And you're married now so you don't have to stop.

Oh my gawd. Oh my gawd. Yes. Show her more!

I just want somebody to spin me around and kiss up the side of my neck. Fuck. This shit is hot.

The artistry of that man. Yes girl yes. The touch of the chest, arms and shoulders.

Oh we throwing dirty talk in here too!

Hell yeah she touched herself. Tf you thought.

Oh my God. His face when he takes her hand. That man is God's Gift.

Her face when he took them pants off......fuck. I'm over here wishing this was Starz and we'd get some full frontal. Idc idc idc. I am horny for the Duke in every way.

They definitely romanticized what it's like to lose your virginity. It's never like that.

That fucking stroke on him though.

Daphne you new to this, but telling him you masturbated to him is a quick way to make him uhhhh....reach his pinnacle. The way he sped up when she said that shit. I was like okay now, das pretty realistic.

Ahhh the pullout method. Works every time.

And poor Daphne doesn't even know wtf a pull out is.

Well either way.

The duke makes me want to be seduced. Not just fucked. SEDUCED!

Well its only a matter of time before truth bombs get dropped, so I'm just gonna enjoy the view until we get there.

[infinitefandomimagines]

Consequences - Harry Bingham x reader

WARNINGS: ANGST, LANGUAGE, CRYING, 

REQUEST: Hiiii, I saw that you were taking The Society requests and I was curious to know if I could submit a request for the reader being with Harry and finding out about Harry, Campbell and Lexie’s scheme with Allie and Will and being super conflicted. If possible could it be super angsty? I love your work so much, thank you for taking the time to read this even if you don’t decide to write it. Love ya xo

+

Hello!! Love your work, can I please request a Harry Bingham angst imagine?

-

You weren't supposed to find out, that much was obvious. The shock on Harry's face the second you confronted him in his room told you he didn't plan on telling you, and the disappointment on your face told him how screwed he really was.

"So what exactly was your plan, huh? Keep me in the dark forever, or just until you and Lexie were the new rulers of New Ham?" Venom dripped from each word as you tried to mask just how truly hurt you were, how betrayed you felt.

Harry opened his mouth to respond, but as far as you were concerned those questions were rhetorical, you weren't finished saying your part.

"On day one you said it was just you and me, that no matter what we could trust each other, that we would have each other's backs. We promised-You. Promised." Your voice was starting to betray you, shaking as your emotions tried to break through, but you refused to cry, refused to let yourself lose control. "Did you even think of how this genius plan of yours would affect me? How it would affect anyone who isn't you?"

"Campbell promised you'd be safe, I made sure-"

"Oh yeah, cause Campbell is so fucking trustworthy!" Your voice was slowly climbing in volume despite your attempts to stay as calm as possible. "Campbell doesn't give a shit about me, or you, or anyone in this town, he only cares about himself. Can't you see he's just manipulating you? You really think you're gonna be the one making the decisions? You're his fucking puppet Harry."

"Give me some credit, I have it handled, I-"

You cut him off again, "Can you honestly tell me that you've actually thought of the consequences of your little plan?"

Y/N-"

"I mean honestly Harry do you think of anyone but yourself? Did you even consider-"

"Would you let me fucking talk?" He yelled, a bit louder than he intended. The outburst startled you, the surprise clear on your face. Harry let out a frustrated sigh, running his hand through his hair, "I wanted to tell you, alright? But we couldn't risk telling anyone who wasn't involved and have the plan getting out."

"And what exactly was this plan of yours? Have the guard, the people we all trust to keep us safe, storm Allie's house, and what? Arrest her? Then what? Take over by force and arrest anyone who gets in your way?"

"I know it sounds bad-"

"Bad?" You were shocked at how ignorant he was, did he really not realize his harmful this could before the town? "Harry everything is finally working, stores haven't been raided, people are doing their jobs, an expedition is set to go out soon, and the committee on going home is actually making progress. This town is fragile, even the smallest shift in structure could cause a panic. Your plan would shatter this town."

"You're telling me you're seriously okay with picking up trash every day for what could possibly be the rest of your life?"

"Yeah it sucks, I don't like it either, but it works! What Allie is doing works."

"Yeah well not for me," he fired back, the two of you now in a big yelling match, "Okay, this place sucks! Everything about it sucks! The food, the jobs, the housing, the leaders." Harry felt bad for yelling at you, he hated fighting with you no matter how big or small the argument was, but everything was getting so heated that it was becoming too easy to say regrettable things

"We're on our own! We don't get to live in luxury anymore, Harry! We have to make sacrifices in order for things to work around here, I know you think you can do better than Allie, and who knows maybe you can, but this is our life now, we can't do much better!" Your voice was starting to get raw and scratchy from the amount of yelling, tears stung the back of your eyes, and you were beyond exhausted.

"Yes we can, we can do so much better! Why can't you just trust me on this? I thought we promised to have each other's backs?" He said the last part almost mockingly, and you felt your anger skyrocket, so much for trying to remain calm and collected.

"No!" You yelled in his face, "No, you don't get to throw that in my face, not after all the shit you've pulled! Going behind my back, lying to me, lying to everyone in this town!" Your voice got weaker with each word, finally reaching your breaking point.

Everything was so fucked up, Harry's head was so far up his ass that deep down you knew there was no changing his mind, and the right thing to do was so obvious, you needed to tell Allie and Will, so why weren't you already doing that? Why were you still here trying to convince Harry to change?

You knew why, and you hated it, hated how head over heals you were for him, hated how you still believed in him, hated how even after everything he'd hidden from you, you still loved him. You were stressed, angry, conflicted, but above anything you were just so tired. Tired of the fighting, the yelling, the chaos, the unshakeable feeling something horrible could happen at any moment, you just wanted to be home, back with your family. You'd give anything to have your old life back, Friday night football games, date night every Saturday with Harry, stupid high school drama and cast parties.

You sat down on the edge of Harry's bed, hunched over with your elbows resting on your knees and you head in your hands, the tears you'd been holding back finally finding their way to the surface. Your body shook as you took in ragged breaths, small sobs escaping your lips.

It seemed as though your breaking point happened to be Harry's as well, the last thing he wanted to do was hurt you, that's why he was so adamant with Campbell about you being safe no matter what, that you would have a say in what happened after he was finally in charge. He knew you wouldn't like the plan the second it was made, and maybe that alone should have told him there was a flaw or two with it, he considered you one of the smartest people in both West Ham and New Ham, but it was the only way to fix things and have a better life. Right?

But seeing you like this? It almost made him want to throw the whole plan out the window. Almost.

Harry took a deep breath, exhaling slowly as he crouched down in front of you, his mind searched for some magic phrase that would make everything better, but he knew there was no such thing.

"Y/N," he whispered softly, "Baby look at me."

When you didn't budge he gently gripped your wrists and pulled your hands away from your face, revealing red eyes and tear-stained cheeks. He held your hands in between his, lifting them to his lips and placing a soft kiss to your knuckles.

"I am so sorry I didn't tell you, I should have been honest with you the second Campbell mentioned the plan," your jaw tightened at the mention of Campbell, telling Harry to keep him out of the conversation. "I never meant to hurt you, and if I could go back and do it all over again I would, I'm sorry, Y/N."

He was genuine, and that gave you the silver of hope you needed to believe that maybe, just maybe, you could stop him from doing something he couldn't take back.

"Then tell Allie, stop all of this before it gets out of hand, run for office and try to win fairly," you pleaded. "Please, Harry."

Harry took a deep breath, his eyes fluttering shut as he prepared to answer. He didn't know who this would hurt worse, you or him.

"I'm sorry, Y/N," he couldn't even look at you as he spoke, his gaze meeting the ground instead. The sliver of hope you'd felt before had been crushed, your heart dropping into your stomach when it finally hit that there was no changing his mind. You were now the one with a choice, tell Allie and betray Harry, or support Harry and go against what you felt was the right thing to do.

"It's not fair Harry," you said in a small, squeaky voice, "It's not fair for you to put me in this situation." You were right, he couldn't argue with that.

"You don't have to do anything, just keep quiet and I promise you will be safe, but if Campbell finds out you know and you're not on board. . . Just, can you promise me you won't say anything?" Harry's eyes finally met yours.

"I don't know, Harry," you whispered, looking down.

"What?"

"I don't fucking know, okay?" You raised your voice, standing up abruptly. "You're asking me to chose between you and what I know is right for this town! I- I just need some fucking air."

You pushed past Harry, wiping stray tears from your cheeks as you rushed towards the door. You gripped the cold metal knob and pulled the door open. However, a hand came down on the door, pushing it shut.

You whipped around to see Harry, his arm extended past your head, leaning against the door to prevent you from opening it again. You let out a sharp breath, scoffing at how actions. You looked up at him in disbelief, but it seemed as though he couldn't quite meet your gaze.

"Open the door, Harry," you said in a dangerous and low voice.

"I'm sorry, but I can't let you leave." His tone held a sense of pain in it. He didn't enjoy what he was doing. Nonetheless, he shifted his body so that he now stood with his back pressed to the door, completely blocking your only way out.

"Fucking what?"

"I'm sorry, I can't until I know you won't tell Allie and Will."

You reached for the doorknob again, even though you knew your efforts would be unsuccessful. Harry grabbed your wrist, his grip was gentle, but that didn't do anything to calm the rage bubbling up inside of you.

You instantly ripped your wrist from his grip, giving him a few choice words in the process. Frustration and anger burned inside of you, and you could feel more tears stinging the back of your eyes.

You turned your back to Harry, walking over to the window at the far end of his room. Soft footsteps echoed from behind you as Harry hesitantly walked towards you, choosing to stop a couple feet away from you.

"Y/N I-"

"Just get out, Harry." You said coldly.

"What?"

"If you won't let me leave the least you can do is give me some space."

There were a few seconds of silence before you heard Harry sniffle. "I'm sorry," he whispered in a broken voice. When you heard the door open and softly close you turned around to make sure he'd actually left.

When you saw he did, you collapsed onto his bed, letting out all of your emotions.

Everything was so fucked.

[mrs-theirin]

first lines

tagged by the wonderful wonderful @hawkeish!! thank you sm lovely this sounds so fun!!!

rules: list the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). see if there are any patterns. choose your favorite opening line. then tag 10 of your favorite authors!

i literally only write hawke/varric this is honestly embarrassing

the road, the hidden truth, & you - There wasn’t really much to prepare Eden Hawke for him proposing the deal. In retrospect, she shouldn’t have agreed, she should’ve just kissed him on the spot and have been done with it, but there was more intrigue this way, more drama. And there’s nothing Varric Tethras loves more than drama.

our lips raw with love - The party swam in Eden’s memory, accompanied by Varric’s song, as she laughed at his story, wobbling in her chair.

the epilogue. - Dear reader, if you’ve made it this far, congratulations. You get to hear me talk about myself. It’s not something I care to do.

Eden’s Fall - Eden’s fall was delayed and painful. The kind of pain that heals. Like stepping into a fire knowing it’s your only source of warmth.

Becoming Malcolm Anders - Ragged shoes slammed on the pavement, pebbles flying as the young boy sprinted through the courtyard.

Viscount and Viscountess of House Tethras* -  “Eden,” Varric warned as her arms wrapped around his shoulders. “Not here.”

Varric’s Fall - Varric’s fall was immediate and definitely made him feel like shit.

Reflections - “Hey, Hawke, you in here? Bodahn told me the mages have moved out for the week, is it because the Templars—Eden?”

purple & red in shades of green - Varric’s life had become something of a routine nowadays.

someone take me home. - Darkness. That was the first thing that was off. It wasn’t dark in the Fade, not really, with the air tinged with green and yellow.

when i’m far too gone, can you show me love? - It was strange, walking through the dark streets of Lowtown alone.

Love Letter - Hawke sighed, throwing off her robes.

Been Waiting For That, Then? - “Oh Maker,” Hawke murmured. “Maker, no.”

feels like falling - “Aria.”

(WIPs)

“deep roads expedition/part one of the saying goodbye series” - Hawke is a goddess of flame. 

“through seas of green/part two of the saying goodbye series” - The Fade was a large, puke-green, and evil place.

“eden/varric wedding hours” - “You’ve really outdone yourself this time, Sister.” 

“super bowl shenanigans” - “Eden Hawke, get your lily white ass in here! Game’s starting!”

patterns: hmm. i don’t think there’s any pattern really. i do enjoy starting one chapter fics with a line of dialogue! though you don’t see much of that here kadhladgal

favorite line: honestly? the epilogue one makes me emotional, so probably that one. Varric’s Fall is a close second

tagging @queenofbaws @thehumantrampoline @veorlian @merrybandofmurderers @elusetta @magebastard @trvelyans - no pressure of course!!

[girlsgonemildblog]

Who Made You Queen of Anything - The Bachelor, Season 25, Week 2 Recap

Image from abc.com

As I (and everybody else on the planet) predicted, Victoria made herself the center of attention for the entirety of this episode. We begin with Bri getting a one-on-one date, which causes all the other girls to mope about not getting the first one-on-on, Victoria included. One of the other girls who isn’t interesting enough for me to have learned her name yet tries to be friendly and comfort Victoria by saying, “It’s okay. We’re all jealous.”

Victoria then has an absolutely incredible response; “I’m not jealous; I just want what she has.” For anyone not familiar with this word, “wanting what someone else has” is the definition of jealousy. My jaw dropped at this line. And yet, that was somehow not the most shocking thing Victoria did in this episode.

Image from abc.com

Bri’s date was pretty boring; the two ride ATV bikes, and the rest of the girls watch them leave from 10 feet away. I live for this type of awkardness. They have a staged fall in the mud, then Matt chops wood shirtless, for some reason (I am not complaining), and I think there may have been a hot tub, but honestly, I was making myself a sandwich during the day portion of the date. During the night portion, the two bonded over both being raised by single mothers, and Matt gives her the rose. Overall, pretty blah date.

Back at the ranch (i.e., the “chateau” the women are staying in), the drama starts. Victoria, out of nowhere, decides to pick a fight with her roommate, Marylynn, for a reason I cannot figure out. From what I understand, Marylynn told Victoria that she wanted to get to know her better since they were sleeping in the same room. Victoria somehow interpreted this as “bullying” and decides to sleep on a couch in the living room instead of having to share a room with someone so evil as to ask her what she likes to do for fun. Marylynn will come back up later in the episode, so here’s a photo of her for those who may not remember who she is:

Image from abc.com

The next date is a group date of 18 girls. Usually, even at the beginning of the seasons, group dates max out at around a dozen people per date. Immediately, I knew this was going to be intense. The date begins with the girls getting into wedding dresses and taking fake-wedding photos with Matt. While this may seem insane to a bachelor-nation newcomer, this date actually happens every season. Victoria and Matt’s photo is laugh-out-loud funny and makes it abundantly clear that she is a producer plant:

Image from Twitter

While the photo shoot is going on, Chris Harrison emerges to announce the second half to the date; the girls are split into two teams of nine for a Hunger-Games-style round of Capture-The-Flag, and only the winners will go to the night-portion of the date. The producers clearly expected the girls to be a lot more vicious than they were; it was mostly giggling and flailing and over all boring.

Image from abc.com

During the cocktail hour, Lauren bonds with Matt because of the importance of religion in both of their lives. If you watched The Bachelorette last season, you will know that Tayshia broke up with one of her final three because their religious beliefs did not line up, so Matt giving Lauren the rose here seems significant.

Image from abc.com

The third date is another one-on-one with Sarah. The day-portion consists of them flying around in a bi-plane and landing in the middle of the woods. If it weren’t for the camera-crews and producers, Sarah probably would have been terrified she was about to get murdered. During the night portion, She tells Matt about how she quit her job to become a full time caretaker for her dad who is dying of ALS. This is a moving moment, but, as my mom and sister pointed out to me, it is a bit overshadowed by the fact that she is spending a portion the six-months her father has left to live on a reality show. I want to give her the benefit of the doubt and say maybe she is trying to expedite the marriage process so that he can be there for her wedding. That sounds believable, right? Maybe? Anyway, Matt deems her trauma-dump worthy of a rose and she gets to remain for another week.

The next evening at the pre-rose-ceremony cocktail party, shit hits the fan. While having some private time with Marylynn, Matt presents her with orchids because he remembers they are her favorite flower. (Note: it is not common for the bachelor to do things like this.) Marylynn then rejoins the girls who, obviously, ask her where she got the flowers. She politely and humbly explains, and Victoria’s brain breaks. She rushes to go sit down with Matt and tells him that Marylynn is “toxic” and “bullying” her, but does not give any proof (because she has none).

Matt then speaks to Marylynn to clear up the situation, and, I think, realizes that nothing Victoria said makes any sense with Marylynn’s gentle personality. Marylynn is, understandably, upset and then tries to take Victoria aside so they can discuss their issues. Marylynn handles the situation politely and maturely, and Victoria refuses to let Marylynn even sit next to her on the couch. Even in the face of this ridiculousness, Marylynn still manages to stay calm and collected. Marylynn is impressively nice and I will be truly pissed off if she gets sent home because Victoria dragged her into made-up drama. That being said, Marylynn may be too well-adjusted to be on this show.

The rose ceremony starts, but in the middle of it, Sarah faints. The producers take her aside and Matt goes to comfort her and the episode ends on a cliffhanger. The Bachelor does a lot of lame cliffhangers, but this might be the worst. She already has a rose, so they’ll likely let her sit out of the rest of the ceremony and give her a glass of water and we’ll be on our merry way. Still, there are just things that go together; peanut butter and jelly, cookies and milk, The Bachelor producers and manufactured drama.

[ivystjamess]

𝐈 𝐃𝐎𝐍'𝐓 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒 𝐈 𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐌𝐘 𝐎𝐖𝐍

WHO: @jazziejazxo​ and ivy st.james. ft mentions of: davis, julien, joey, kenna, noah, sammy, otto, lemon, ruby, eli, and winnie. WHEN: fri night. 2/5. WHERE: north hills mall. WHAT: bumping into each other at the mall, jaz and ivy have a heated exchange turned dream sequence of p!nk’s ‘cuz i can leading up to new direction’s regionals competition.

IVY LIKED TO THINK SHE HAD THREE HOMES. her actual one, whatever stage she be performing on (whether that be field or actual stage) and north hills mall. since entering her teenage years, she’d spent about as much time at the mall as she did doing her morning and nightly routines. so naturally, she knew the busy and the less busy times to go on her bi-weekly shopping sprees. thursday night was always pretty mild, and ivy liked it that way. she didn’t want to deal with a bunch of other people while shopping, who would? as she stepped onto the escalator to head down to the main floor, she caught the unmistakable gaze of jaz evans standing by the fountain and glaring daggers up at her. at this realization, ivy expedited her time on the escalator by walking down to give jaz a piece of her mind.

jaz’s intentions weren’t malicious at first. part of jaz’s goal for this semester was to refocus on the things that really matter. She was helping ND win regionals, being the best possible friend/sister/daughter, and checking drama at the door. after spending an entire weekend in bed and in constant worry that her voice wouldn’t recover from her random weekend sickness, jaz was more focused on these goals than ever. she was at the mall searching for the perfect gift to thank her mom for both taking care of her all weekend and helping her prep vocally for her big competition debut. but when she spotted ivy, all of that focus went out of the window. suddenly she was feeling just as insecure as she did when vocal adrenaline stormed the auditorium. her gaze didn’t waver even as ivy picked up speed. who did she think she was?

stepping up to the other girl, ivy shrugged her purse up on to her shoulder and flashed the fakest of smiles, “jaz so funny to see you here!” she started mild before concluding with a blunt, “i like couldn’t help but notice that look you were giving me.” a signature ivy st.james condescending pout graced her lips before she continued, “all shook up from the fundraiser? or was it our performance last week?” she asked with the tilt of her head. relations between ivy and jaz hadn’t always been so tense, in fact, they had a pretty healthy relationship prior to the blow up in the green room at sectionals. jaz always encouraged ivy to maybe be a little kinder, and ivy encouraged jaz to trust her talent a little more. that was all well and good until jaz had made it personal. taking ivy’s spot as captain? doing that duet with julien on the ski trip? ivy figured maybe jaz was a little ruthless with all this effort clearly being put into making her angry or jealous and arguing with her. with all this pent up frustration toward her former friend, ivy had no problem letting venom flow off her tongue unrestrained. “well, i have to get going! good luck with like, buying new directions’ cheap-o costumes or whatever you’re doing here. hopefully you find something that can hide the inevitably horrible choreography you’re going to be doing tomorrow. bye!” and with that, ivy turned her back, ready to walk away.

in a few blunt and nasty words, ivy had somehow confirmed all of the misconceptions jaz had made about this girl. somehow this new ivy was so bitter about not getting her way at sectionals that she literally transferred schools to create a “aha i told you so” moment. jaz was suddenly extremely angry at ivy, more than just disappointed. could she have been the reason davis just stopped talking to her out of the blue? jaz’s mouth moved faster than her brain could process. “honestly, whatever, ivy. just storm out or something…it’s the only thing you’re good at.” jaz spoke, venom dripping off of her words. she rolled her eyes and turned around, mumbling. “how were we even friends?”

wondering if maybe she had been a little too harsh, ivy froze in her place. obviously she didn’t want things to be this way. but ivy made her bed and had no problem laying in it. sure, there were surges where she missed the team, or the little moments like going to the pumpkin patch with jaz. it was the same as she got her surges of missing julien. but those days were over and gone. now? they were at war. 

both still heated from the exchange, their backs still turned, suddenly rock music began sounding throughout the mall as the pair aggressively whipped around to face each other. speaking over the music, jaz began ‘Rock and Roll, Rock! And I drink more than you! And party harder than you do! And my car's faster than yours too!’ making disgusted vocalizations at each other complete with lots of eye rolls and aggressive expressions, ivy pushed past jaz and strutted to the bathroom as she sang ‘P.I.N.K. P.I.M.P I'm back again I know y'all missed me.’ 

as the bathroom door swung open, ivy was suddenly in a locker room, donning work out gear. in the locker room, ivy continued to sing as she sat down on a bench and began taping up her hands, ‘Yeah I talk shit just deal with it.’ hands now taped, ivy continued to sing hostilely, slamming locker doors shut as she passed, the final one slamming shut as she belted, ‘You can try and try you can't be me!’

at the chorus, ivy and jaz both sounded as they popped up in different locations. ivy could be seen doing a variety of activities such as jumping rope, doing laps around an empty boxing gym characterized by black and blue ropes and banners, as well as sit ups all while davis lingered in the background either timing her, egging her on, or sitting on her feet as she did her sit ups. jaz, on the otherhand, remained in a gym decorated similarly to the other one, but with red and white adornments. in work out gear similar to ivy’s jaz also did a number of training activities; push ups, speed punching a punching bag, and running up and down the stands while julien stood by encouragingly as her coach. as this training went on they sang in perfect harmony, “but it's alright, I don't give a damn, I don't play your rules, I make my own, tonight I'll do what I want 'Cause I can”

when the chorus came to an end, the focus was pulled to jaz coming up from a push up and looking directly forward and singing, “I know I'm rare, you stop and stare, You think I care, I don't You talk real loud, But you ain't saying nothing cool” rising to her feet, she passed julien and gave him a high five as she moved to grab a water bottle and continued singing. glistening with sweat and aggression in her eyes, she arrived to the end of her verse and dramatically dumped the contents of her water bottle over her head as she belted out, ‘You can try and try you can't be me!’

moving into the second chorus, ivy and jaz were suddenly in a filled arena full of cheering fans. in ivy’s corner, eli, winnie, kenna, and sammy could be spotted sporting their TEAM IVY shirts in the front row, while in jaz’s corner noah, otto, lemon, and ruby could be spotted wearing their TEAM JAZ shirts as they cheered for the impending match. cutting between ivy and jaz as they entered with davis and julien from their tunnels, their voices again joined as they eyed each other from across the arena and sang their angst out. 

jaz hopped into the actual arena first where joey stood center in a referee’s shirt, but ivy was close behind. they were both followed by their respective coaches. as the bridge arrived, joey called the competitors to the middle of the ring. ivy and jaz shrugged off their blue and red robes and made their way to the center of the ring. while joey soundlessly laid out the rules of the boxing match, ivy and jaz’s eyes narrowed as they stared each other down. jaz began singing ‘yeah I'm super thick, people say I'm much too chick’ now verbally competing, ivy tauntingly cut her off, ‘come and kiss the ring, you just might learn a couple things.’ they were equally matched though as jaz now jumped in with ‘i'm tryin' to school ya dogs--’ but was abruptly stopped by joey blowing his whistle (which sounded a lot like ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff) and signaling their conduct was disorderly. paying no mind to the ref, ivy got right back in on the action with ‘i'm your worst nightmare.’ followed by a ‘bring it we can take it there’ from jaz, then concluded with ivy belting ‘what are you scared?’ over jaz singing the chorus.

with the climax of the song behind them, the last two sets of the chorus were filled with cut scenes of ivy and jaz leaning up against the ropes and vocalizing individually, circling each other in the rink ready to strike, and retreating to their corners to talk to their coaches. occasionally, a fan or two got rowdy enough in the crowd that it cut to their equally as energized antics, but when all was said and done, ivy and jaz stood in front of the north hills mall fountain wearing their normal clothes, backs facing each other, and absolutely silent other than the water bubbling beside them.

eventually both seem to come to the conclusion, it wasn’t worth engaging with one another. it would only be trouble, and a stinging reminder of friendship lost. it was easier to say nothing at all. so ivy stuck her chin up in the air, and jaz pushed some hair behind her ears, and they carried on their separate ways. 

THE END.

[bigprettygothgf]

kayla bigprettygothgf’s halloween recommendation list

I know it’s a little late into October to publish this, and I had wanted to get this out at the start of the month, other things just got in the way of my time. But, I finished it anyway.

I’ve divided this into two parts - First, movies that are available on the big three streaming services - Netflix, Amazon Prime Video, and Hulu. Second, movies that are not available on those services and you’ll have to get via… other means. All in all there’s over 70 films here.

Summaries are either written by me or lifted from letterboxd. Because I’m lazy.

It probably goes without saying that almost all of these come with a CW for violence. Violence will only be mentioned specifically in CWs in more extreme cases.

If I’ve missed any applicable content warnings here, please message me about it! it’s been a while since I’ve seen many of these movies and it’s likely there’s some details I’ve forgotten.

Full list under the cut.

Available on Netflix, Amazon Prime Video, or Hulu

  -Annihilation (2018)

A biologist signs up for a dangerous, secret expedition into a mysterious zone where the laws of nature don’t apply.

   -Genres: Alien invasion, body horror, sci-fi horror

   -Content warnings: Death of a lesbian character 

   -Available on: Amazon Prime Video, Hulu

-Apostle (2018)

Netflix original horror tends to be very hit or miss, more often than not a catastrophic miss. While not without its flaws, Apostle is fortunately one of the better releases to the service, offering a very The Wicker Man (1973)-esque story about a man who travels to a remote island in search of his sister who has been kidnapped by a cult.

   -Genres: Cult horror, historical period horror

   -Content warnings: N/A

   -Available on: Netflix

-As Above, So Below (2014)

While the dialogue in the film borders on unintentional comedy at times, As Above, So Below is a surprisingly decent found footage flick about a team of explorers delving into the Paris catacombs. 

   -Genres: Found footage, horror thriller

   -Content warnings: N/A

   -Available on: Netflix

-The Autopsy of Jane Doe (2017)

Father and son coroners receive a mysterious unidentified corpse with no apparent cause of death. As they attempt to examine the young “Jane Doe,” they discover increasingly bizarre clues that hold the key to her terrifying secrets.

   -Genres: Supernatural horror

   -Content warnings: N/A

   -Available on: Netflix

-Blade (1998)

When Blade’s mother was bitten by a vampire during pregnancy, she did not know that she gave her son a special gift while dying—all the good vampire attributes in combination with the best human skills. Blade and his mentor battle an evil vampire rebel who plans to take over the outdated vampire council, capture Blade and resurrect a voracious blood god.

   -Genres: Superhero, vampire horror

   -Content warnings: N/A

   -Available on: Hulu

-Candyman (1992)

The Candyman, a murderous soul with a hook for a hand, is accidentally summoned to reality by a skeptic grad student researching the monster’s myth.

   -Genres: Psychological horror, slasher, supernatural horror

   -Content warnings: Animal death, R-slur

   -Available on: Netflix

-Cloverfield (2008)

Five young New Yorkers throw their friend a going-away party the night that a monster the size of a skyscraper descends upon the city. Told from the point of view of their video camera, the film is a document of their attempt to survive the most surreal, horrifying event of their lives.

   -Genres: Disaster, found footage, monster, sci-fi horror

   -Content warnings: One of the lead characters, Hud, is played by accused sexual abuser T.J. Miller

   -Available on: Hulu

-Constantine (2005)

By all accounts, Constantine is a bad adaption of its source material, taking far too many creative liberties and making many unnecessary changes from the Hellblazer comic. However, despite that, the film is a fun and decent movie in its own right, and worth a watch regardless of whether or not you’re familiar with the comic it’s based on.

   -Genres: Dark fantasy, superhero, supernatural horror

   -Content warnings: Suicide

   -Available on: Hulu

-Creep (2014)

Aaron answers an online ad and drives to a stranger's house to film him for the day. The man claims to want to make a movie for his unborn child, but his requests become more bizarre as the day goes along.

   -Genres: Found footage, horror thriller

   -Content warnings: N/A

   -Available on: Netflix

-Creep 2 (2017)

A video artist who craves shocking stories realizes she has made a mistake when she meets a serial killer in a cabin.

   -Genres: Found footage, horror thriller

   -Content warnings: N/A

   -Available on: Netflix

-The Crow (1994)

Exactly one year after young rock guitarist Eric Draven and his fiancée are brutally killed by a ruthless gang of criminals, Draven – watched over by a hypnotic crow – returns from the grave to exact revenge.

   -Genres: Dark fantasy, superhero

   -Content warnings: Sexual assault

   -Available on: Netflix

-Event Horizon (1997)

A film that could have been great had it not been marred by interference from Paramount, Event Horizon is still a decent entry into the sci-fi horror genre, even if just for the great scenery-chewing by Sam Neill. It’s just a shame that we’ll probably never see a fully uncensored version.

   -Genres: Sci-fi horror, supernatural horror

   -Content warnings: N/A

   -Available on: Amazon Prime Video, Hulu

-The Evil Dead (1981)

Bruce Campbell & friends take a trip out to a cabin in the woods. Hilarity ensues.

   -Genres: Dark fantasy, supernatural horror

   -Content warnings: The infamous tree rape scene

   -Available on: Hulu

-Evil Dead II (1987)

Bruce Campbell & friend takes a trip out to a cabin in the woods. Even more hilarity ensues.

   -Genres: Dark fantasy, horror comedy

   -Content warnings: N/A

   -Available on: Hulu

-The Exorcist III (1990)

Despite the title, The Exorcist III has very little to do with the original Exorcist film, only given connections to it due to studio imposition. Fortunately, this is a rare case where studio interference didn’t actually negatively affect the film itself much at all, and I strongly recommend it, even if you haven’t seen the original.

   -Genres: Supernatural horror

   -Content warnings: Ableism

   -Available on: Amazon Prime Video

-Gerald’s Game (2017)

When her husband’s sex game goes wrong, Jessie (who is handcuffed to a bed in a remote lake house) faces warped visions, dark secrets and a dire choice.

   -Genres: Psychological horror

   -Content warnings: CSA, graphic degloving

   -Available on: Netflix

-Ginger Snaps (2000)

The story of two outcast sisters, Ginger and Brigitte, in the mindless suburban town of Bailey Downs. On the night of Ginger’s first period, she is savagely attacked by a wild creature. Ginger’s wounds miraculously heal but something is not quite right. Now Brigitte must save her sister and save herself.

   -Genres: Supernatural horror

   -Content warnings: Animal death

   -Available on: Amazon Prime Video

-Green Room (2015)

A punk rock band becomes trapped in a secluded venue after finding a scene of violence. For what they saw, the band themselves become targets of violence from a gang of white power skinheads, who want to eliminate all evidence of the crime.

   -Genres: Horror thriller

   -Content warnings: Nazism, racism, N-slurs

   -Available on: Netflix

-Hellraiser (1987)

An unfaithful wife encounters the zombie of her dead lover while the demonic cenobites are pursuing him after he escaped their sadomasochistic underworld.

   -Genres: Supernatural horror

   -Content warnings: N/A

   -Available on: Amazon Prime Video, Hulu

-Hereditary (2018)

When Ellen, the matriarch of the Graham family, passes away, her daughter’s family begins to unravel cryptic and increasingly terrifying secrets about their ancestry.

   -Genres: Drama, supernatural horror

   -Content warnings: Animal death, child death

   -Available on: Amazon Prime Video

-The Invitation (2015)

Will and his new girlfriend Kira are invited to a dinner with old friends at the house of Will’s ex Eden and her new partner David. Although the evening appears to be relaxed, Will soon gets a creeping suspicion that their charming host David is up to something.

   -Genres: Cult horror, horror thriller

   -Content warnings: N/A

   -Available on: Netflix

-Lake Mungo (2010)

One of my personal favorite films in the horror genre, the underappreciated Lake Mungo - creatively presented in a faux-documentary style - is an eerie look at the difficulty of moving on from family loss.

   -Genres: Found footage, pseudo-documentary, psychological horror

   -Content warnings: CSA

   -Available on: Amazon Prime Video

-Mother! (2017)

I hesitated adding this one because to be frank I do not care much for it and Darren Aronofsky, while a talented filmmaker, is a bit of a self-aggrandizing prick and this film demonstrates his pretentiousness more so than any of his past work. But, even so, there’s some legitimately great material here, particularly in the third act when everything goes to shit. If you can look past the extremely heavy-handed bible metaphors and clumsy environmental message, you may get something out of it.

   -Genres: Psychological horror, thriller

   -Content warnings: Misogynistic violence, graphic baby death

   -Available on: Amazon Prime Video, Hulu

-Nightbreed (1990)

A troubled young man is drawn to a mythical place called Midian where a variety of monsters are hiding from humanity.

   -Genres: Dark fantasy

   -Content warnings: Eye trauma, F-slur

   -Available on: Amazon Prime Video

-Night of the Living Dead (1968)

A group of people try to survive an attack of bloodthirsty zombies while trapped in a rural Pennsylvania farmhouse.

   -Genres: Zombie horror

   -Content warnings: N/A

   -Available on: Amazon Prime Video (Public domain, so you should have no trouble finding it elsewhere.)

-Possum (2018)

Long stretches of not much happening are made up for by some truly horrifying puppet sequences which are among the creepiest things I saw in any 2018 film.

   -Genres: Drama, psychological horror

   -Content warnings: N/A

   -Available on: Amazon Prime Video

-Pumpkinhead (1988)

A man conjures up a gigantic vengeance demon called Pumpkinhead to destroy the teenagers who accidentally killed his son.

   -Genres: Dark fantasy, supernatural horror

   -Content warnings: Child death

   -Available on: Amazon Prime Video, Hulu*

*Audio is slightly out of sync on both streams.

-A Quiet Place (2018)

A family is forced to live in silence while hiding from creatures that hunt by sound.

   -Genres: Alien invasion, sci-fi horror 

   -Content warnings: Child death

   -Available on: Amazon Prime Video, Hulu

-The Return of the Living Dead (1986)

When a bumbling pair of employees at a medical supply warehouse accidentally release a deadly gas into the air, the vapors cause the dead to re-animate as they go on a rampage seeking their favorite food: brains!

   -Genres: Horror comedy, zombie horror

   -Content warnings: N/A

   -Available on: Amazon Prime Video

-The Ritual (2017)

A group of college friends reunite for a trip to the forest, but encounter a menacing presence in the woods that’s stalking them.

   -Genres: Cult horror, supernatural horror 

   -Content warnings: N/A

   -Available on: Netflix

-Saw (2004)

Obsessed with teaching his victims the value of life, a deranged, sadistic serial killer abducts the morally wayward. Once captured, they must face impossible choices in a horrific game of survival. The victims must fight to win their lives back, or die trying.

   -Genres: Horror thriller

   -Content warnings: N/A

   -Available on: Hulu

-Saw II (2005)

When a new murder victim is discovered with all the signs of Jigsaw’s hand, Detective Eric Matthews begins a full investigation and apprehends Jigsaw with little effort. But for Jigsaw, getting caught is just another part of his plan. Eight more of his victims are already fighting for their lives and now it’s time for Matthews to join the game.

   -Genres: Horror thriller

   -Content warnings: Needles

   -Available on: Hulu

-Scream (1996)

A killer known as Ghostface begins killing off teenagers, and as the body count begins to rise, one girl and her friends find themselves contemplating the ‘rules’ of horror films as they find themselves living in a real-life one.

   -Genres: Slasher

   -Content warnings: Rape mention

   -Available on: Netflix

-Society (1989)

Containing what I consider to be the greatest special effects Screaming Mad George ever did, Society is a story about the son of a rich Beverly Hills family feeling like he doesn’t quite fit in. If you like body horror, 80s practical effects, and satire about the west coast upper class, I can not recommend this hidden gem enough. Another of my personal favorites.

   -Genres: Black comedy, body horror, satire

   -Content warnings: Incest and really gross body horror. In general if you’re averse to sex and nudity you may wanna steer clear.

   -Available on: Amazon Prime Video

-Suspiria (2018)

I can’t think of many films I hold such a high opinion on that I was initially ready to hate. When I found out that the Call Me by Your Name director would be behind a remake of Dario Argento’s 1977 classic Suspiria, I rolled my eyes. When official photos started to roll in indicating the film would be gory and desaturated in contrast to the original’s surreal usage of exaggerated colors, I decided I wasn’t touching it with a ten foot pole. Fast forward about a year later, and I eventually decide to give the film a chance. Low and behold, not only do I list it as a top film of 2018, I actually, genuinely like it more than the original. While there’s much to be said about the style and color palette of the original film, I find the remake’s radically different tone and style to be still, in a difficult to describe way, faithful to the 1977 original. But most importantly, the film stands on its own as a visceral, nightmarish, violent, and disturbing experience I still haven't stopped thinking about nearly a year later.

   -Genres: Body horror, cult horror, supernatural horror

   -Content warnings: Suicide, very graphic gore

   -Available on: Amazon Prime Video

-The Terminator (1984)

In the post-apocalyptic future, reigning tyrannical supercomputers teleport a cyborg assassin known as the “Terminator” back to 1984 to kill Sarah Connor, whose unborn son is destined to lead insurgents against 21st century mechanical hegemony. Meanwhile, the human-resistance movement dispatches a lone warrior to safeguard Sarah.

   -Genres: Science fiction, thriller

   -Content warnings: N/A

   -Available on: Amazon Prime Video, Hulu, YouTube

-They Look Like People (2016)

While held back slightly by its low budget, They Look Like People is one of the best looks at mental illness I’ve seen in a film, especially a horror film, and I’d easily recommend it to anyone tired of the demonization of mental illness in the horror genre.

   -Genres: Psychological horror

   -Content warnings: N/A

   -Available on: Amazon Prime Video

-Train to Busan (2016)

Martial law is declared when a mysterious viral outbreak pushes Korea into a state of emergency. Those on an express train to Busan, a city that has successfully fended off the viral outbreak, must fight for their own survival.

   -Genres: Thriller, zombie horror

   -Content Warnings: N/A

   -Available on: Netflix

-Tucker and Dale Vs. Evil (2010)

Two hillbillies are suspected of being killers by a group of paranoid college kids camping near the duo’s West Virginian cabin. As the body count climbs, so does the fear and confusion as the college kids try to seek revenge against the pair.

   -Genres: Horror comedy, slasher

   -Content Warnings: Rape mention

   -Available on: Netflix

-The Witch (2015)

In 1630s New England, William and Katherine lead a devout Christian life with five children, homesteading on the edge of an impassable wilderness, exiled from their settlement when William defies the local church. When their newborn son vanishes and crops mysteriously fail, the family turns on one another.

   -Genres: Religious horror, supernatural horror

   -Content Warnings: Abuse, animal death, child death, implied CSA

   -Available on: Netflix

Not Available on Netflix, Amazon Prime Video, or Hulu

-Alien (1979)

During its return to the earth, commercial spaceship Nostromo intercepts a distress signal from a distant planet. When a three-member team of the crew discovers a chamber containing thousands of eggs on the planet, a creature inside one of the eggs attacks an explorer. The entire crew is unaware of the impending nightmare set to descend upon them when the alien parasite planted inside its unfortunate host is birthed.

   -Genres: Sci-fi horror

   -Content warnings: N/A

-Aliens (1986)

When Ripley’s lifepod is found by a salvage crew over 50 years later, she finds that terra-formers are on the very planet they found the alien species. When the company sends a family of colonists out to investigate her story—all contact is lost with the planet and colonists. They enlist Ripley and the colonial marines to return and search for answers.

   -Genres: Sci-fi action, sci-fi horror

   -Content warnings: N/A

-Altered States (1980)

A research scientist explores the boundaries and frontiers of consciousness. Using sensory deprivation and hallucinogenic mixtures from native American shamans, he explores these altered states of consciousness and finds that memory, time, and perhaps reality itself are states of mind.

   -Genres: Sci-fi horror

   -Content warnings: N/A

-AM1200 (2008)

A fantastic little horror short film. Officially on Vimeo.

   -Genres: Eldritch horror

   -Content warnings: Suicide

-Army of Darkness (1992)

Don’t ever let anyone tell you that Army of Darkness isn’t as good as Evil Dead II. They’re full of shit and this movie fucking rules.

   -Genres: Dark fantasy, horror comedy

   -Content warnings: N/A

-Basket Case (1982)

A young man carrying a big basket that contains his deformed Siamese-twin brother seeks vengeance on the doctors who separated them against their will.

   -Genres: Body horror, horror comedy, slasher

   -Content warnings: Attempted rape

-Beyond the Black Rainbow (2010)

Deep within the mysterious Arboria Institute, a disturbed girl is held captive by a doctor in search of inner peace. Her mind controlled by a sinister technology. Silently, she waits for her next session with deranged therapist Dr. Barry Nyle. If she hopes to escape, she must journey through the darkest reaches of The Institute, but Nyle wonʼt easily part with his most gifted and dangerous creation.

   -Genres: Sci-fi horror 

   -Content warnings: N/A

-The Blair Witch Project (1999)

In October of 1994 three student filmmakers disappeared in the woods near Burkittsville, Maryland, while shooting a documentary. A year later their footage was found.

   -Genres: Found footage, supernatural horror 

   -Content warnings: N/A

-The Cabin in the Woods (2011)

Five college friends spend the weekend at a remote cabin in the woods, where they get more than they bargained for. Together, they must discover the truth behind the cabin in the woods.

   -Genres: Black comedy, eldritch horror, horror comedy, satire

   -Content warnings: N/A

-Christine (1983)

Geeky student Arnie Cunningham falls for Christine, a rusty 1958 Plymouth Fury, and becomes obsessed with restoring the classic automobile to her former glory. As the car changes, so does Arnie, whose newfound confidence turns to arrogance behind the wheel of his exotic beauty. Arnie’s girlfriend Leigh and best friend Dennis reach out to him, only to be met by a Fury like no other.

   -Genres: Horror thriller, supernaturally horror

   -Content warnings: N/A

-Donnie Darko (2001)

After narrowly escaping a bizarre accident, a troubled teenager is plagued by visions of a large bunny rabbit that manipulates him to commit a series of crimes.

   -Genres: Drama, psychological thriller

   -Content warnings: References to CSA

-The Fly (1986)

When Seth Brundle makes a huge scientific and technological breakthrough in teleportation, he decides to test it on himself. Unbeknownst to him, a common housefly manages to get inside the device and the two become one.

   -Genres: Body horror, sci-fi horror

   -Content warnings: N/A

-From Beyond (1986)

A group of scientists have developed the Resonator, a machine which allows whoever is within range to see beyond normal perceptible reality. But when the experiment succeeds, they are immediately attacked by terrible life forms.

   -Genres: Body horror, sci-fi horror

   -Content warnings: Sexual assault

-Get Out (2017)

Chris and his girlfriend Rose go upstate to visit her parents for the weekend. At first, Chris reads the family’s overly accommodating behavior as nervous attempts to deal with their daughter’s interracial relationship, but as the weekend progresses, a series of increasingly disturbing discoveries lead him to a truth that he never could have imagined.

   -Genres: Horror thriller, psychological horror, satire

   -Content warnings: N/A

-Grave Encounters (2011)

I’ll admit that this found footage pseudo-reality show film isn’t all that good, but if you’re like me and you’re a slut for all those dumb Ghost Hunters-type TV shows, this should be right up your alley.

   -Genres: Found footage, supernatural horror

   -Content warnings: Ableism

-Hellbound: Hellraiser II (1988)

I’m just going to quote my best friend Lars @dracenines:

there is so much shit in this movie that makes no goddamn sense at all but it's so damn fun that i can't help but love it anyways

   -Genres: Supernatural horror

   -Content warnings: N/A

-The House of the Devil (2009)

In the 1980s, college student Samantha Hughes takes a strange babysitting job that coincides with a full lunar eclipse. She slowly realizes her clients harbor a terrifying secret.

   -Genres: Cult horror

   -Content warnings: N/A

-In the Mouth of Madness (1994)

With the disappearance of hack horror writer Sutter Cane, all Hell is breaking loose…literally! Author Cane, it seems, has a knack for description that really brings his evil creepy-crawlies to life. Insurance investigator John Trent is sent to investigate Cane’s mysterious vanishing act and ends up in the sleepy little East Coast town of Hobb’s End.

   -Genres: Supernatural horror, eldritch horror

   -Content warnings: N/A

-It Follows (2014)

For 19-year-old Jay, fall should be about school, boys and weekends out at the lake. But a seemingly innocent physical encounter turns sour and gives her the inescapable sense that someone, or something, is following her. Faced with this burden, Jay and her teenage friends must find a way to escape the horror that seems to be only a few steps behind.

   -Genres: Psychological horror, supernatural horror

   -Content warnings: Sexual assault

-Jacob’s Ladder (1990)

A traumatized Vietnam war veteran finds out that his post-war life isn’t what he believes it to be when he’s attacked by horned creatures in the subway.

   -Genres: Drama, psychological horror, religious horror, thriller

   -Content warnings: N/A

-Jennifer’s Body (2009)

A newly possessed cheerleader turns into a killer who specializes in offing her male classmates.

   -Genres: Black comedy, supernatural horror

   -Content warnings: N/A

-The Keep (1983)

A great seemingly forgotten horror film that was unfortunately never able to be fully finished due to the death of the special effects supervisor early in post-production, and much more to the film’s determent, heavy studio interference, resulting in shoddy sound design and over 100 minutes cut from the movie. Despite this, I still enjoy this film quite a bit, particularly for its fantastic atmosphere and excellent soundtrack by Tangerine Dream.

   -Genres: Supernatural horror

   -Content warnings: Nazis

-The Lost Boys (1987)

A mother and her two teenage sons move to a seemingly nice and quiet small coastal California town yet soon find out that it’s overrun by bike gangs and vampires. A couple of teenage friends take it upon themselves to hunt down the vampires that they suspect of a few mysterious murders and restore peace and calm to their town.

   -Genres: Horror comedy, supernatural horror, vampire horror

   -Content warnings: N/A

-Marebito (2004)

A fear-obsessed freelance cameraman investigates an urban legend involving mysterious spirits that haunt the subways of Tokyo.

   -Genres: Supernatural horror

   -Content warnings: Eye trauma

-The Others (2001)

Grace is a religious woman who lives in an old house kept dark because her two children, Anne and Nicholas, have a rare sensitivity to light. When the family begins to suspect the house is haunted, Grace fights to protect her children at any cost in the face of strange events and disturbing visions.

   -Genres: Drama, gothic horror, psychological horror, supernatural horror

   -Content warnings: N/A

-Prince of Darkness (1987)

A research team finds a mysterious cylinder in a deserted church. If opened, it could mean the end of the world.

   -Genres: Supernatural horror, zombie horror

   -Content warnings: N/A

-Resident Evil (2002)

Look, this movie is not great, it doesn’t follow the games, I know. But it’s a guilty pleasure and Milla Jovovitch awakens homosexual feelings in me. Just don’t bother with the sequels. Or do bother with them. Honestly, you could do a lot worse with your time.

   -Genres: Action horror, sci-fi horror, zombie horror

   -Content warnings: N/A

-Sinister (2012)

Found footage helps a true-crime novelist realize how and why a family was murdered in his new home, though his discoveries put his entire family in the path of a supernatural entity.

   -Genres: Mystery, supernatural horror

   -Content warnings: Child death

-Spring (2014)

Sci-fi horror romance film about a shapeshifting monster girl. That’s all I need to tell you.

   -Genres: Romance, sci-fi horror

   -Content warnings: N/A

-Suspiria (1977)

From the moment she arrives in Freiberg, Germany, to attend the prestigious Tanz Academy, American ballet-dancer Suzy Bannion senses that something horribly evil lurks within the walls of the age-old institution.

   -Genres: Gothic horror, supernatural horror

   -Content warnings: N/A

-The Taking of Deborah Logan (2014)

One of my favorite found footage films and and a great example of how much potential the genre holds when handled by a director who seems to actually give a shit. To top that off, it features a lesbian lead character who doesn’t die. It’s really that easy!

   -Genres: Found footage, supernatural horror

   -Content warnings: N/A

-The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)

Five friends visiting their grandfather’s house in the country are hunted and terrorized by a chain-saw wielding killer and his family of grave-robbing cannibals.

   -Genres: Slasher

   -Content warnings: Ableism

-The Thing (1982)

Scientists in the Antarctic are confronted by a shape-shifting alien that assumes the appearance of the people it kills.

   -Genres: Alien invasion, body horror, sci-fi horror

   -Content warnings: Animal death

-Trick ’r Treat (2007)

Four interwoven stories that occur on Halloween: an everyday high school principal has a secret life as a serial killer; a college virgin might have just met the one guy for her; a group of teenagers pull a mean prank; a bitter old recluse receives an uninvited guest.

   -Genres: Anthology, black comedy, supernatural horror 

   -Content warnings: Child death

-Us (2019)

Husband and wife Gabe and Adelaide Wilson take their kids to their beach house expecting to unplug and unwind with friends. But as night descends, their serenity turns to tension and chaos when some shocking visitors arrive uninvited.

   -Genres: Cult horror, sci-fi horror, supernatural horror 

   -Content warnings: Child death

-V/H/S (2012)

When a group of misfits is hired by an unknown third party to burglarize a desolate house and acquire a rare VHS tape, they discover more found footage than they bargained for.

   -Genres: Anthology, found footage, supernatural horror

   -Content warnings: Sexual assault

-V/H/S/2 (2013)

While there’s less good to be found in the sequel than in the previous installment, the segment featured in V/H/S/2 titled Safe Haven is easily the best in the entire series and has quickly become one of my favorite horror short films of all time. It alone makes V/H/S/2 a worthwhile watch.

   -Genres: Alien invasion, anthology, cult horror, found footage, sci-fi horror, supernatural horror, zombie horror

   -Content warnings: References to CSA, eye trauma

-Videodrome (1983)

As the president of a trashy TV channel, Max Renn is desperate for new programming to attract viewers. When he happens upon “Videodrome,” a TV show dedicated to gratuitous torture and punishment, Max sees a potential hit and broadcasts the show on his channel. However, after his girlfriend auditions for the show and never returns, Max investigates the truth behind Videodrome and discovers that the graphic violence may not be as fake as he thought.

   -Genres: Body horror, sci-fi horror

   -Content warnings: N/A

-The Void (2016)

Cloaked, cult-like figures trap a police officer, patients and staffers inside a hospital that is a gateway to evil.

   -Genres: Cult horror, eldritch horror, supernatural horror

   -Content warnings: N/A

-What We Do in the Shadows (2014)

Vampire housemates try to cope with the complexities of modern life and show a newly turned hipster some of the perks of being undead.

   -Genres: Horror comedy, pseudo-documentary

   -Content warnings: One F-slur

[sorcererinthestars]

Lets discuss space boys because @staranon95’s addition to Expedition Wild West made me need ~ space boys ~

I’m combining Firefly with Astroneer with Journey to the Savage Planet all in my head

Consider space boys trying to act like Good Boys on their vessel. They do their jobs and they’re relatively well behaved, but when their Commanding Officer needs to choose four people for a landing party on a new planet, the three idiot Lads are the ones She chooses just to get them out of her hair???

And of course she chooses poor Lieutenant Haywood to keep an eye on them because he had said something snarky to her and she felt this was just and fair punishment

And they’re dropped on this isolated planet with nothing but their drop ship and about a month’s worth of supplies. It’s just supposed to be a scouting mission, but of course when are things ever that easy for our dynamic foursome?

Cue Journey to the Savage Planet - like shenanigans (great game go check it out if you haven’t, Funhaus did a LP in it). Kicking wildlife to watch them explode. Jet packs and grappling hooks to wildly careen between beautiful pillars of rock and floating platforms in this low gravity environment. Shooting mean things. Taking samples.

Lots and lots of kicking random wildlife to watch them fly in the air.

And they realize this hidden planet has something far more sinister on it and have to explore and save each other’s lives and there is Drama and Space and Lust and shall we even say Love???

I just love Space Boys adventuring and figuring shit out and being menaces and pushing each other into holes and being the smol cretins they are

[dissidiacloudstrife]

[slides in to torment you with Way Too Many questions] 1 through 6 for honey, 8 through 12 for clover, 13 through 17 for bluebell, 18 through 23 for vale, 24 through 27 for baaby, and 28 through 30 for that morosexual mordrem

LONG POST AHEAD I GUESS

Honeysuckle:

1. Did you have a theme in mind when you designed them? What was it?  honey was originally made ngl, to have nsfw dealings with another friends oc. that sounds so bad now but i promise the other oc was also a horny bastard. but she grew into her own character!

2. How would someone find them in a crowd?  just look for her plants! on her head grows a huge japanese honeysuckle!

3. Do they dance at a party? What about when they’re alone?  honey used to be an assassin so she can pretty much do any dancing with someone, but alone she likes to do spins and get dizzy

4. What’s their ideal pizza? “are my husband, and datemates a pizza” honestly she probably wouldnt enjoy pizza v much

5. Post a song that reminds you of them. I HAVE A WHOLE PLAYLIST FOR HER....ITS SO LONG...but this is the song that rly jump started her into turning into her own character: Patchwork Stacatto

6. How would you describe their fashion?  honestly sexy! she likes to show off her body, but likes to wear huge ballgown type dresses. she likes the Attention.

Clover:

8. Would they have noticed there’s no “7″ in this list?  you motherfucker. no probably not at first, if it was something medical related tho he probably would!

9. What would they do with a large sum of anonymously gifted money? he’d be confused and wouldnt know what to do with it. he doesnt really need money because the priory pretty much pays for his expeditions as long as they get to publish his works, so he’d probably donate it to people he knew

10. Do they have a “type”? This can include preferences in friends. its apparently big sunshine men. absolutely beaming boys. full of love and positivity

11. If they were in a book, what genre would it be? What might their TVTropes page look like? medical drama! i sadly dont rly know much tvtropes to put him in any, besides like, anxiety, tired doctor. 

12. Are they a good cook? good enough for himself and his husband! theyre normal dishes, nothing fancy when youre traveling most of the time.

Bluebell:

13. Do they have any comfort objects? her armor and weapons! outside of that, the heirloom forgal gave her before he died

14. How do they see themself?    a strong woman who’s had to go through a lot of shit to get where she is. she thinks shes had to got through more than a lot of people should have, but doesnt know how to think about it, in and of itself.

15. How would someone best comfort them? sitting with her and putting your arm around her. she doesnt like talking unless its with very specific people. but silent, and gentle touches are welcomed.

16. What’s their ideal vacation? “going back home to my family, but i dont know who that is anymore” 

17. What’s their ideal meal? a vanilla ice coffee with some sautéed veggies and like some spicy dolyak meat.

Vale:

18. How do they respond to pressure and responsibility? hahaha he didnt! it was very much a kind “dont feel” for the longest time; his pressure was put on by his dad, and to be able to have a few kids. (which he has one and he regrets it a ton) it was always impossible missions and responsibility when your dad is bagnar :’) and he would expect vale to do everything to perfection.

19. Do they have a favorite animal, or an ideal pet? not really! thought vale likes minotaurs a lot as like a power symbol

20. What’s their favorite weather?  before becoming champion, it was the weather around grothmar. that was his home for a long time. so contemporary, and not much humidity. now its obviously Blizzard Babey

21. When their friends are in danger, how do they respond? with seriousness, and tactically. its to try and get them out of the danger ASAP, but not risking their own life if it was like, a 0% chance either of them would live

22. How do they feel about sailing or swimming in deep water, far from the shore? the swimming would honestly be a pressure off of him, despite deep water having pressure. he wouldnt have to worry about anything, nobody expects anything out of him, it would be blissful. 

23. How good are they are first aid? he could do military first aid, but nothing amazing. he wasnt a medic, and even as champion the most he can do is refreeze a team mate so they dont fall apart. 

Baaby:

24. How big is their friend group? How close? its pretty much only marigold and bubbles, and theyre family to each other. baaby didnt hate her family until she came out as trans and then it was hell for her, so she left. marigold and bubbles support her and she doesnt have to worry about them trying to sabotage anything she makes for competitions. 

25. What’s their relationship with their family? it was okay before she came out, they were pretty much turning the other way when she expressed an interest in music since she was still inventing other things. but being trans was just One thing too much, and she decided to leave rata sum, and found marigold. later on bubbles, and theyve all been best friends, and family to each other ever since.

26. If they find a lost dog, do they try to find its owner? Adopt it? Leave it? she’d try to find their owner first! if she couldnt she would just hold onto them and then give them to someone who would want a dog. she and the band dont really have time for one right now despite bubbles cooing at them. 

27. Do they have any scars? not really! shes taken pretty good care of herself during experiments, and is proud of her body after she’s able to make hormones for herself (idk if HRT would be a huge thing yet)

im just gonna call them Imposter for now bc thats their namesake:

28. Do they have any tattoos, piercings, or other body modifications? nothing identifiable! maybe later after mordremoth’s defeat, but theyre a infiltrator, and therefore their original form has no discernable features so its easier to illusion it

29. How well do they sleep at night? they dont! :)

30. Would they heat up canned food, or eat it straight from the can? they’d eat the can. like unopen, just, eat the can and the food inside. at once.

[orderofhunter]

Seblaine and Hunter- You Know The Penalty If You Fail/Feb 4, 2020

Para: You Know The Penalty If You Fail

Rating: PG.

Pairing: Seblaine @smythesm​, @andersoncharm​ and Hunter Clarington. @orderofhunter​

When: Tuesday, February 4, 2020

Location: Seb’s Apartment.

Notes: Hunter brings warnings that maybe Blaine ought to be more careful when using magic with Sebastian.

Warnings: Things are changing. Features a bittersweet ending.

Hunter:

It was normal for Hunter to get called in for emergencies at The Headquarters. He had proven himself to be efficient and thorough in his research and on his hunts and was being set up to follow in his father’s footsteps to lead The Order. Hunter had traveled the world, hunting rogue witches who sacrificed children deep in forests, researching the various creatures that wicked witches morphed into, and making sure the correct affiliates came through if it wasn’t a witch or a cryptid (Aliens=FBI and Ghosts= fucking Zachary BAGELBITES...yuck. Fucking Ghosts were drama.)

So, it wasn’t shocking when Hunter was sent in to figure out the truth behind Facebook posts about phantom  footsteps in an empty apartment in Arkansas or snap chat videos of flying women jumping through trees in England. The invention of Twitter and Facebook and hoax videos on YouTube was a turbulent time for The Order. Hunter could hardly remember, as he was so young when the internet became a major problem for them but, his parents had to work overtime tracking down the creators of videos featuring little goblins and objects being thrown around rooms, only to hit dead ends filled with bored college kids and middle aged dudes looking for attention. Sometimes, though, the videos or posts would lead to rogue witches or possessions or abductions. The Order had created a department to keep track of the goings on of social media and kept connections with the appropriate affiliates to keep all things supernatural, well, in order. This department had decided that it was best to send the younger hunters in, seeing as they knew the world of the internet best, and who better than actual troll Hunter Clarington? He had a knack for figuring out hoaxes faster than anybody else at the order, and could distinguish whether a house was haunted or inhabited by a crone cooking up cancerous spells in no time.

So, on this random day when we was brought in for a tweet that was gaining speed online, he was expecting the usual. Go in to some random location, do some research, extinguish the problem or call in another expert and wash his hands of it, file a report, go home. When he sat down with the head of the social media department, and was shown the tweets, his stomach turned. It was Paris. It was a blurry photo of the Eiffel Tower, a figure (Or figures?) perched at the top. The tweet, in French, questioned if it was a ghost and it was picking up speed online. Hunter could see that it was posted at 3AM on Christmas morning.

Hunter kept his eyes trained on the big screen behind his superiors head, the photo blown up and accentuated. He could see two figures clinging together.  He swallowed thickly but kept his eyes trained ahead of him, willed his heart to chill out and his pulse not to quicken (he was trained to do this after all). Sebastian had told him that Blaine had ‘popped’ in and visited him in the early hours of Christmas Morning. He had also told him that his lovely boyfriend took him to the top of the famous monument around 3.  Hunter couldn’t let anybody see him sweat or let on that he might already know something. He accepted the mission and was given his plane tickets for that very night. He had to travel with the normies in order to blend and usually his skin would itch for use of the private jet but he was too stressed out to worry about being flashy and frivolous. Hunter just wanted to get there and get this done.

Hunter requested that Tony come with for training purposes, the request was approved, and the two of them were off to Paris that evening.  It was all business on this trip. He explained that he thought Blaine was the very witch in the post and Tony understood the seriousness of the implication.

“It’s an old city, Hunter. If we find out that it was Blaine and not a Matagot, which it could be...we can pin it on a ghost.”

Hunter made a mental note to remind Tony that Matagot’s were native to Southern France but he didn’t want to ruin the moment, so he nodded and clenched his jaw. Because she was still right, of course, but  he had never botched an expedition before. He’d never had a reason to. Hunter couldn’t let Sebastian or Blaine get hurt. Tony understood that and that’s exactly what they did. All of the evidence pointed to witches hanging out on top of the Eiffel tower. Hunter could scream. It was them, there was no way it wasn’t. Tony helped him pin it on a haunting she had found in the area surrounding the Eiffel Tower and Hunter made the original poster delete the tweet with a check and a flash of his sharp jawline.

Hunter took a day to decompress before he went into The Headquarters and explained it all away. He explained that he had handed the case over and had the posts scrubbed from the internet (even got a hold of the pesky podcast that had covered it and requested the episode play elevator music over that specific part). He texted Sebastian and told him the three of them were going to talk, there was no playing around with this shit.

He knocked once on Sebastian’s front door before letting himself in. Of course, Blaine was already there and the two of them were sitting closely on the couch, clutching hands.

“Yeah, you should be fucking nervous,” Hunter thought to himself. He took a deep breath and walked around to stand in front of the two men.

“ I guess I should start off by saying that it’s all figured out. It’s covered up. You both owe Tony a huge thank you. She pinned it on a local haunting.” Hunter ran a hand through his hair before resting his hands on his hips. Sebastian was staring at the floor and Blaine’s eyes were the size of moons, he was squeezing the other man’s hand so hard it was turning red.

“Jesus Bas, you could look at me. You’re not in trouble. I just need you guys to know how serious this is. God, don’t make me feel like I’m your fucking dad.” He crouched down in front of them, resting gently on the coffee table. “I just can’t have this happen again, okay? Blaine, you know what they’d do to him. You know they’d have your head and they’d send me to get it.”

Sebastian:

Blaine and Sebastian were stressed and Seb was doing anything and everything to try and alleviate the heavy feeling sitting on their shoulders. He had played Broadway music in the car,tried cooking a couple of times, cleaned up the dishes when he gave up and B would whip up an amazing meal, watched Ever After multiple times and cuddled on the couch and watched Captain America and let Ras go to LeFey and  took Blaine to a damn Super Bowl party.  

It was at the Snowed In and Blaine had nonchalantly mentioned that maybe they could stop by. “We can go. You should watch the game.  I know you don’t care about these teams but, it might be nice to be out around people.” Sebastian couldn’t believe he said that last phrase, ew. He didn’t really care about football but he cared about snacks and JLo  and his boyfriend.

There were wings and cheese dip and beer and Blaine got a little macho and bro’d out over a bad play here and there and Sebastian liked what he saw. He was a little tipsy and liked the swell of Blaine’s biceps as he clutched his beer, his other hand extended towards the big screen over a fumble or some shit. They laughed and danced together towards the back of the room when Jlo and Shakira came on. What was better than cheap beer and terrible food and beautiful pop divas? Sebastian hadn’t felt this free from thought in a few days and he could tell B felt better, too. The two of them stumbled to their Lyft and fell asleep giggling with full bellies and tired bodies.

Seb played the scene of them doing a lazy tango together surrounded by Chiefs and 49ers jerseys in the crowded cafe. He tried to focus on positive things because Hunter would be there any minute and who knew what new information that would bring. Blaine held on tightly to his hand and he squeezed back, the two of them sitting silently with Ras sleeping on the bed, a calming spell from Blaine so that the pup wouldn’t fret.

Hunter came into the room and started ranting immediately. Sebastian felt like a teenager again, felt like his dad had sat him down to yell about his Lacrosse plays or his sneaking out. It triggered something inside  of his brain, the shame of letting somebody down along with the acidic burn to want to yell back. But, what was there to say? They had tried so hard and still fucked up. They were in the wrong and Hunter was right. He felt like puking when he said that he could be harmed, what would they do to him? To B?

“We’re sorry.” was all he could manage. Seb squeezed Blaine’s hand again and braved a look at his face. He could tell that B was close to tears. He knew that the other man had been dreading this day.

Blaine:

Blaine had spent the last five days living his life on the cliffs edge. One second he’s fine, he’s dealing and coping with the fact that they’d more than likely been seen, and the next he’s panicking and on the verge of closing himself off and hiding in his turtle shell terrified to come out. Sebastian had been amazing throughout all of his anxieties. Let him watch his favorite movies, let him blush a little over Steve Rogers, let him take Ras to visit LeFay when Blaine couldn’t mope around Sebastian’s apartment to keep him a little calmer, Ras always had that effect on him. Kissed him sweetly when Blaine got lost in his own head. Seb had even taken him to a Super Bowl party on Sunday. And while Blaine may not have been invested in the teams playing (He much preferred college football) he still had a pretty good time and even got fired up about a shoddy play or two. He tried to keep the memory of Sebastian pulling him so close around the waist with one arm and the other waving a chicken wing around while tipsily dancing and singing along with JLo in his head as he waited for Hunter to show up.

He knew that someone out there had probably seen them and then posted something about it on some sort of social media platform. The thought irked him and made his stomach flip so hard. It’s not that Blaine didn’t pay attention to all of that, it’s just that social media had never really been his forte, sure, he posted things here or there, but his pages all had to be glamoured anyway and he only really cared to check on on very few people. Besides, hunting was the job of the Hunters. Sitting tight, keeping your head down and staying hidden, never helping anyone was a Witch’s job. Or so he’d been taught and it was all exhausting. He hardly managed to pay attention to what he was taught in his former classes and now in his “Graduate classes” with his father. He’d never wanted any of this in the first place. He didn’t want to be headmaster of LeFay, he didn’t want to hide away in that oppressive school.  He’d always just wanted to do what his mother did or something similar. Heal people whether with small bits of magic or music. To voice it out loud to his father got him the same answer- Your mother had to do the same thing you’re doing in order to do what she did. And look what happened when she helped the wrong person.- Tony was not the wrong person, she was wonderful. But, it was neither here nor there to tell his father anything.

And his people had betrayed him anyway. Here he was spending every waking hour keeping the the one thing that made him more happy than anything else in the world a damn secret. And he was never ever allowed to share it. He couldn’t even allow himself to think of anything more than a few weeks in advance because what the hell was he going to do in a year or two when they sent him away to England to learn even more? Leave Sebastian behind? Run away? He swallowed hard thinking about it, willing himself not to fucking fall apart and gave Sebastian’s hand another squeeze just to show that his boyfriend was real and sitting here with him. Which should have made him feel better but  just reminded him how fucking bad he’d fucked up by not thinking more clearly when he took Seb to the Eiffel Tower and got wrapped up in the perfect moment. How could he spend so much time carefully glamouring every other part of his life but forget about it when it mattered the most? He blinked back a wash of angry tears and took a steadying breath. Anger because why didn’t they deserve perfect moments like everyone else? Why couldn’t they just be in love? And tears because he fucking knew better.

He was so lucky to have people like Tony and Hunter in his life. Thankful that they gave a fuck about him and especially about Seb. He knew this was just a warning and that he needed to think clearer and be even more careful. He knew it was going to be okay. For now at least. His father seemed to know nothing about it which meant that everything was more or less fine. If they were actually found out Willem ‘Will’ Anderson would be one of the first to know, he’d be the one of the ones that would have to write up a report and send for a member of the order to bring the witch in question in. None of that had happened though, thankfully.

His eyes flickered wide and bright up to Hunter as the other man let himself in looking like he’d stepped out of a Versace ad, jawline sharp enough to cut, hair perfectly in place, grey suit tailored just so. Impeccable and smarmy even though he’d been traveling on a plane. He watched as Hunter made his way over and crouched down in front of them like someones very stylish dad giving his son a talk about why we don’t have boys in our rooms alone at night. Blaine bit the inside of his cheek, as he listened. Nodding miserably about how he owed Tony. His fingers tight in Seb’s. He knew all of this. He’d been kicking his own ass about it for five days now.

He finally let his eyes settle on Hunter’s, silently asking him not to delve too far into what they might do to him or Sebastian because he knew. He knew damn well that he’d either be taken away and locked up so he’d never see Seb again or that they’d have him on a pyre and use his magical ashed bones as a cautionary tale. He knew they’d steal away Seb’s best memories of him  and because they were Fated, soul mates by magical design that it might not work and it might send his very human boyfriend, his reason to smile into madness. Sebastian didn’t need to hear all of that right now. He knew just about enough as it was. Sebastian’s little voice the we’re sorry shook him out of his thoughts and prompted him to speak.

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Seb.” He loosened his grip in favor of linking their fingers together and turned to his boyfriend, his voice thick. “It’s my fault and I’m the one that’s sorry. I’m sorry to you for putting you at risk. I was so caught up in our moment that I didn’t- I couldn't think about anything else.” He turned his gaze to Hunter and shook his head. “I’m sorry that you and Tony had to go through all of this- trouble just because of my negligence.” He bit his lip and swallowed. “What can I do to fix this? And don’t you tell me nothing because I know I messed up. And I know that I need to do something, anything to make it up to you. To make you understand that I would never, consciously, put Seb in danger. This- This wasn’t meant to happen and gods, I’m sorry.” His voice cracked slightly on that last note prompting a whine from a very magically quiet Ras in the bedroom and a rub against his knee from a Freya that seemed to appear out of nowhere.  A Freya that had jumped up onto the table and was fixing Hunter with a clear look of hey he gets it. Not threatening per se, more trust me he’s beating himself up enough.

Hunter:

Hunter knew that Sebastian and Blaine were stressed and upset. The trained side of his brain, the one that executed missions and studied until his eyes crossed, knew that they needed to feel this way. That they needed to realize the weight of their actions, let the seriousness of the situation seep into their skin. The other side of his brain, the side that was Sebastian’s best friend, wanted to wipe the slate clean and hug his friends and assure them he would always protect them. Because he would, what would life be like without Bas’s scowl whenever Hunter made a bad joke? Without his long legs and love for dogs?  Without Blaine’s snacks and his open arms for Tony?

Hunter recognized the look on Blaine’s face. He didn’t want him to mention what could happen to Sebastian. He gave a curt nod of his chin in response. “I don’t think that there’s anything you can do now. It’s been fixed. I handed the case over to the ghost boys. Maybe they’ll film an episode about the location Tony found.” Hunter shrugged and reached forward to pat Blaine’s knee and then re thought it. He couldn’t give in yet, all he wanted to do was squeeze in between them on the couch and loosen his Gucci tie. “Doesn’t mean that this isn’t serious but, I think you understand that. Just don’t do this shit again, okay? This fucking sucked.”

Hunter heard the soft paws of an animal land. He looked up to see a white fluff of fur with remarkable eyes. The dagger strapped to his side thrummed with energy, and not just from Blaine. This was a familiar. He could sense the message, lay off the boy.  “I’m just doing my job, ma’am.” Hunter rolled his eyes, “She’s intense,Anderson.”  He cleared his throat after a few beats, and looked at both of the men. “I want to move past this. I just want you guys to promise to be more responsible. Seb...what would I do if you got hurt? What would Sabine do? Blaine, just think of your dad and Tony next time you want to play Fabio.”

Sebastian:

Sebastian hated when Hunter got serious like this. Not because it was annoying, even if he pretended it was in the future, but because letting down your best friend was a different type of low. Seeing the little wrinkle in between Hunter’s eyebrows always signaled sadness or stress, and there it sat, judging him. “We promise, okay? Call it a moment of weakness.” Sebastian let go of Blaine’s hand in favor of wrapping his arm around the other man’s waist. He squeezed his hip.

He bit his bottom lip and nodded when Hunter mentioned himself and his mother. He didn’t want to entertain the thought of breaking his mother’s heart like that and deep, deep down he hated upsetting his best friend. “I got it. I think B understands, too.”  He looked at Blaine and read his watery, gold eyes. Seb knew that he felt the seriousness to his core and regretted  potentially putting Sebastian in harm’s way. “So, can we just move on now?”

Blaine:

Blaine gave Freya a little smile of thanks, knowing that she appreciated Hunter calling her ma’am more than she’d ever let Blaine know. She didn’t need to be so worried around Hunter but he appreciated her protection all the same. “Yeah, she really is. I mean, she’s very old and has been through a lot. Or so she likes to remind me often.” He attempted to joke but it fell flat and his laugh felt forced. Which was ridiculous because this was Hunter. They were friends. They’d worked rather hard to get to this point too. And now Tony was brought up and all he could think about was his mom and how if Tony were upset with him it might mean his mother would be too. He sighed, resigning to the fact that he felt miserable and that it was going to take a long time for him to let this subside.

Not because he wanted to dwell on it, but because he needed to let this sting for a little bit. Their lives depended on it. He needed to remember that it wasn’t just about Sebastian but also about Hunter and Tony and their jobs and how much they cared for him and Sebastian and about Sabine. He could just picture Sabine’s pretty face full of sorrow over losing her only son to some unseen madness. He also needed to remember that no matter how strained their relationship was that he was all his father had left and that he ought to think of that more often too.

He nodded to Hunter, his face heating up at the mention of him trying to be Fabio. “I wasn’t- no, that’s not what I was trying to do…” He bit his lip, trailing off. Feeling a little embarrassed over his display of romance and showing Seb that Paris could still be romantic even if you were raised there. He had to remind himself that Sebastian had loved it. He had been filled with wonder and looked like he was falling in love with his city again. So maybe it was worth it after all. But, he only felt comfortable thinking that now knowing that they were all safe. Hunter and Tony were okay and had managed. Nobody had seen him or Seb. They were okay. And they would be okay for now. He knew it was going to sit with him but, he needed to move on or it would eat him up and make him wonder why he was doing this. Why was he insistent on staying when everything was screaming at him to walk away and the other man be. But, how could he? It would break his heart in two. And he knew it would do the same to Sebastian. He didn’t really feel like he could exist without him any longer. And after what he went through with losing his mother he wouldn’t be able to walk away. And really, call him dramatic but, he’d rather die than leave. He knew Sebastian knew he had a choice too. He just chose Blaine. Their little red string was stronger than ever and he’d be damned if he snipped it on his own. He just also needed to remember how high the stakes were now and always.

He gave another nod and set his jaw. “I can promise you that it won’t ever happen again. We will never be seen and my guard will never be down in public again.” He reached his free hand out and gave Hunter’s a firm shake and made a promise to send Tony a long message later. (She was in Ohio with her parents for the week.) He allowed Sebastian to pull him closer, comforting him, he could feel the heat of his hand radiating to his hip. He let himself feel it for a moment, the closeness and the energy of his boyfriend’s love before clearing his throat. “Seb’s right. We should move on but, we shouldn’t forget. I keep my word and I stand by what I said.” He nodded and allowed a small genuine smile grace his face. “Why don’t I make us dinner? We could relax and maybe watch a movie? I’m sure you have clothing here somewhere, Hunter.”

Hunter:

Hunter stood up from the coffee table and clasped his hands together. He was satisfied that this was all over and resolved and that the two of them seemed genuinely sorry. Hunter stretched out his legs and shook them before he stretched his arms up to the ceiling. “Oh, I’ll borrow some of Bas’s stuff. I always do!” He didn’t wait for Sebastian to offer, he just showed himself to the bedroom, kicked off his shiny loafers, and found an old Dalton Warblers tee shirt (he had one,too but this one said SMYTHE on the back!) and a pair of black Nike sweatpants.  He folded up his suit and tucked his dagger in between the layers of luxurious fabric before setting the items on the dresser. Before leaving the room he ruffled the sleeping Golden’s ears.

Hunter came back out to the living room where he forced himself in between the two men on the couch. “God, guys. That was tough. I hate being mad at you two. Don’t do that again. Where’s the remote? I wanna watch Fast Five. Gal Gadot is in it so, Bas will like it.” Hunter fidgeted with the television for a moment, thinking about what he should ask Blaine to cook. “Surprise us,Anderson!”

Sebastian:

Sebastian didn’t even attempt to move from his spot as Hunter took off towards his room. He knew that Hunter was going to do whatever he wanted, anyway. “That wasn’t so bad, right?” Seb leaned in and gave Blaine a few kisses while they were alone. He was so relieved that they weren’t going to get turned over to The Order or forced to break up. Sebastian clung to Blaine for a few moments longer, their joy unspoken and their bodies limp from the weight of stress.

He wasn’t shocked when Hunter squeezed in between them on the couch, it was usually like this when he was around. Seb grabbed the remote and shoved it in his friend’s hand. This man, this annoying little shit, had saved them. Had flown to Paris and cleaned up their mess and sucked up his ego and risked his career and reputation.  “Sure, Hunter. I’m sure I can suffer through it. Promise not to get hard when Paul Walker walks on the screen, though.” He punched the other man in the arm, pushed him off the couch a little bit as they laughed. God, he loved his friend and his boyfriend and his life was once again set back into balance.

Blaine:

Blaine let out a laugh that felt far too good to release. “What did you think I meant by my statement in the first place, Clarington?” He rolled his eyes as Hunter all but sauntered into their bedroom to no doubt find an outfit of Seb’s that would annoy the shit out of him. He was lucky he was so damn endearing. Annoyingly so but endearing all the same. He let himself be kissed and comforted by his boyfriend, relishing the way his lips fit perfectly against his. “You’re right, it could have been much worse.” He sat pressed to Sebastian, enjoying his company and the knowledge that they’d be okay today. He should have been annoyed when Hunter all but shoved them both apart and sat himself right between them, cozying up to them. He only felt a minor sting of frustration at seeing Hunter in one of Blaine’s favorite shirts of his, because of course Hunter would pick something out that said Seb’s name so boldly. Instead his rolled his eyes and let himself be moved. His arm behind Hunter’s head, fingers brushing over Seb’s neck just so why he listened to them bicker. After all Hunter had done so much for them, he deserved to be an absolute shit tonight.

Seb’s statement about Paul Walker cheered him right up though and he let out a bigger laugh, full and real. “I think he got you there, Hunter.” He patted Hunters arm, “I hope you like chicken nachos, homemade. It was meant for our dinner but, well, I guess we gotta share now. Back in a flash.”  He smiled to himself and gave Seb’s shoulder a squeeze before making his way to the kitchen. He opened three beers, delivered two to his boyfriend and friends and took a long swig before making his way back to the kitchen to cook. His smiles were coming easier and he was starting to feel a little better, the cool beer soothing his frazzled nerves as he popped the chicken into the oven for their food. But, as he stood in the doorway while he waited for the food to cook and watched his beautiful human boyfriend laugh with his slayer best friend he couldn’t help but feel there was now a little hourglass with pretty sand running down the days his life. On their lives. Maybe it’s always been there, now he just couldn’t stop thinking about it.

/fin

[myspacetaeyong]

EXpeditiOn #1 - Kappa Kontingency // Prologue

Characters: Chanyeol, D.O., Chen, Baekhyun, Xiumin

Genre: Adventure / Drama

Rating: G

Word Count: 1889

Summary:  Chanyeol decides to go on a trip outside of Kyoto in order to find out if kappas are real, and ropes an unknowing Kyungsoo into it.

Prologue / Chapter I / Chapter II / Chapter III / Chapter IV

Kyungsoo was sitting in a cold, white room. There was nothing in it, aside from a table with three chairs, and two security cameras.

‘Why don’t you start from the beginning?’ asked the old man sitting in front of Kyungsoo.

‘I was washing my dogs in the bathroom. I’d taken Meokmul for a walk and he rolled in some mud, then Huchu saw him, and decided – ’ answered Kyungsoo.

‘Not that close to the beginning, Kyungsoo.’ interrupted the man. Kyungsoo frowned and crossed his arms.

‘As I was saying, I was washing my dogs when Chanyeol came in running, yelling for me to join him on a, as he called it, ‘super relaxing trip’ to Kyoto, where we ‘would become one with nature. ’ Oh, and he had already booked the place and got tickets so he guilted me into it. ’ replied the younger.

‘Go on.’

‘I agreed, and started preparing. Our flight was in three days.’

‘What happened when you arrived in Japan?’

‘We got off the plane, went to get our suitcases –’

‘Kyungsoo, don’t make this harder than it has to be.’

‘I’m simply answering your questions. I’m still unsure as to why I’m being questioned.’

‘You know very well why you’re here.’

‘I actually don’t. I also don’t understand how you can interrogate me like this and not allow me a lawyer.’

‘Mister Do, this situation is much graver, and you know it. Now tell me, what happened when you got to Japan?'

‘We went to the resort, we checked in, and enjoyed the surroundings.’

‘And nothing happened?’

‘Nothing worth mentioning, no.’

‘Are you completely sure about that?’

‘Actually, no – something did happen.’

‘Well?’

‘Baekhyun, Jongdae, and Minseok showed up on the last day. They’d just returned from their concert and crashed our party.’

‘How is that relevant?’

‘Well, it would be hard to understand if you don’t know how Chanyeol, Baekhyun, and Jongdae get when they’re together.’ Kyungsoo explained with a smile.

‘Mister Do, why don’t we speak of the creature that you and Mister Park encountered at the lake.’

‘Sir, the only creature I encountered in that lake was Chanyeol.’

‘So why did you run away when the local police arrived?’

‘We were frightened, and we’d done nothing wrong.’

‘It would really be easier for you to just cooperate.’

‘I have nothing else to say. Can I use the restroom now? You’ve been keeping me here for hours, and I don’t think I can hold it in anymore.’

‘We’re not done here, Mister Do.’

‘If you don’t let me use the restroom, only one thing will be done in this room.’ replied Kyungsoo, looking the elder straight in the eye.

‘Fine. Go.’

‘Thank you.’ smiled Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo got up and walked toward the door. When he opened it, he was faced with one guard to his right, and another across, waiting in front of a door similar to the one he had just walked through.

‘Are you going to be escorting me to the restroom?’ asked Kyungsoo

‘Yes, now move along.’ said the first guard.

‘Both of you?’

‘We wouldn’t want you to go somewhere you shouldn’t now, would we?’

‘Yeah, don’t get any funny ideas kid.’ replied the second guard.

‘I wasn’t.’

 As Kyungsoo walked towards the restroom, he took in his surroundings once more. There seemed to be no more guards on the corridor, but he remembered two more outside the hall, and a dozen more on the way to the ground floor. This facility was very plain. There was a constant in everything and that was white – white floors, white walls, white lights. And somehow, no spec of dust. This was amplified by all the glass surrounding everything. Almost anything you did could be seen by someone else, and that was without all the surveillance cameras. When Kyungsoo reached the restroom, he turned to the guards.

 ‘Would you mind waiting outside? I won’t be able to go knowing you’re right outside the stall?’

‘Is this kid serious?!’ asked the second guard.

‘I wouldn’t normally request something like this, but I do feel I have an incoming case of explosive diarrhoea. Surely you’d understand.’

‘Jesus Christ. What’s wrong with these kids they picked up?’ complained the same guard.

‘Just go.’ replied the first.

 As soon as Kyungsoo entered, he could hear some low thuds above him, irregularly timed. They seemed to be coming from the vents near the sinks. Then, the thuds got louder. And louder. And the fire alarm started.

 ‘You think you’re gonna be in there longer? We gotta evac.’ asked the first guard

‘A few minutes, ok?’

 Suddenly, two men fell from the vents. They were in full black outfits, with plain surgery masks, and ski goggles.

 ‘Who… who are you?’ asked Kyungsoo.

‘It’s us, dumbass.’ replied Baekhyun, lowering his mask.

‘What the hell are you two doing here?’ whispered Kyungsoo.

‘No time for that, Minseok bought us exactly 3 minutes with that alarm. He’s going to distract the guards while we get Chanyeol.’ explained Jongdae

‘I was going to save Chanyeol.’ replied Kyungsoo

‘Oh yeah, and how were you going to do that?’ asked Baekhyun

‘This is not the time, Baek. We’re going with the plan. Kyungsoo, follow our lead.’ said Jongdae.

 Jongdae slowly opened the door the corridor and looked outside. The guards were gone. He motioned for the others to join him. Baekhyun put his mask back on, and trailed behind Jongdae.

 ‘He’s in here, right?’ Jongdae motioned to the door opposite from where Kyungsoo was interrogated. Kyungsoo nodded.

‘Baek, stand guard. I’m going in.’

 Jongdae twisted the handle and entered the interrogation room. Chanyeol heard him and turned his head, looking confused. His eyes were red and swollen.

 ‘Are you here to kill me?’ cried Chanyeol.

 Jongdae hurried to his side, and whispered to him.

 ‘I’m Jongdae. Baek and Min are outside. We came to save you. We got Soo too. Let’s go.’ explained Jongdae

‘I thought they were going to finish me off. They said that they killed Kyungsoo-‘

‘Kyungsoo is safe. Let’s go.’

 Jongdae dragged Chanyeol to the corridor. When Chanyeol saw Kyungsoo, he pulled him in a tight hug. Kyungsoo was confused, but hugged him back.

‘Jesus, what happened to you?’ asked Baekhyun.

‘He thought they’d killed Soo.’ said Jongdae. ‘We need to hurry, Minseok is waiting for us.’

 The boys ran towards the corridor’s exit. They entered the floor’s waiting area, and were supposed to meet Minseok next to a door to the far right of the room, near the lifts.

‘Something feels wrong.’ said Kyungsoo.

‘Yeah, Minseok isn’t here.’ replied Baekhyun.

‘You don’t think they got him, do you?’ whispered Chanyeol.

 Jongdae pulled out his communicator. ‘Min, we’re at the meeting spot. Do you copy? Over.’ He looked at the other boys, his eyebrows turning into a V. ‘Come in, Min. Over.’

 ‘Oh my god… They really did.’ Chanyeol dropped to the floor and started crying again. ‘This is all my fault.’

Kyungsoo kneeled next to the taller boy, and held him.

‘It’s fine, I’m sure he’s here somewhere.’ reassured Kyungsoo.

‘We need to get going, we can’t wait for him.’ said  Baekhyun.

Chanyeol slammed his fists to the ground. ‘How can you say something like that?!’

‘I’m saying we don’t have time and we risk getting caught, get your shit together.’

 Baekhyun pulled Chanyeol off the floor and went for the staircases.

 Jongdae’s communicator started buzzing. ‘Minseok coming in. Do you copy? Over.’

They all turned to the source of the sound. Chanyeol wiped his tears with his blouse.

‘Jongdae here, copy. I got all the guys. Where are you? Over.’

‘Tell him I’m glad he’s alive!’ said Chanyeol. Baekhyun glared.

‘I’m in the back, something came up. But hurry, Sehun is coming to pick us up asap. Over.’ said Minseok.

‘We’re on our way. Over.’

‘You heard Jongdae, let’s go Yeollie.’ said Baekhyun.

‘Yeah, yeah. I’m coming.’

‘Who else is involved in this?’ asked Kyungsoo.

‘What do you mean?’ asked Jongdae.

‘I mean, Sehun is picking us up? If he’s in this too he won’t be safe.’

‘Everyone agreed to help,’ said Baekhyun. ‘We’re all in this together.’

‘We are one.’ added Chanyeol.

 The boys reached Sehun’s car in no time. He and Minseok were waiting right outside.

‘Does anyone else feel like we got away too easily?’ asked Kyungsoo.

‘No, we’re EXO; the government wouldn’t kill us. It would cause a riot.’ said Baekhyun.

‘What are you talking about? This is not a government institution.’

‘How do you know that? They wouldn’t reveal things like this to the public.’

‘Did you see the building? The weapons they had when they caught us? This has to be funded by someone.’

‘We can look into that later, right now we need to leave.’

‘Speaking of leaving, how did Sehun manage to park in the building’s car park with no issues?’

‘I gave the guard some money, said I was waiting to pick up some friends.’ said Sehun.

‘And he just let you park?’

‘That’s what he said, Soo.’ cut in Baekhyun. ‘Let’s go for now.’

‘So, we got a bit of an issue.’ said Minseok. ‘There’s six of us, two of which are giants, and only five seats.’

‘Chanyeol takes the front and the rest of us will squeeze in the back.’ said Jongdae.

‘That’s not safe.’

‘Yeah, I didn’t drive all the way here to get anyone injured.’ said  Sehun

‘Then, one of us will have to squeeze in the trunk.’ replied Baekhyun.

Jongdae smiled. ‘Ok, then. You go.’

‘Hold on… I didn’t say it had to be me. You’re smaller, you  go.’

‘It was your idea, you go,’

‘I could do it!’ said Chanyeol.

‘No!’ said everyone else.

‘Think of it as a challenge!’ continued Chanyeol.

‘The only challenge here is to get home safely.’ said Minseok.

‘Which is why you’ll take the trunk.’ added Jongdae.

Minseok turned to face the younger man; if looks could kill, Jongdae would be deader than dead.

‘I’ll do it, let’s just go already. This place doesn’t feel too safe.’ said Kyungsoo.

He opened the trunk, and got inside.

‘If I didn’t know better I could’ve sworn it was made for you.’ said Jongdae.

Kyungsoo closed the trunk. He turned Sehun’s gym clothes into a pillow, and went to sleep. About an hour later, he was woken up by Baekhyun’s shaking. He refused to open his eyes.

 ‘Kyungsoo… Wake up. Kyungsoo… Soo… Do Kyungsoo…’ murmured Baekhyun, still shaking him.

‘Do you think he died?’ asked Jongdae.

‘You killed Kyungsoo?! You told us he was fine!’ yelled  Jongin from the doorstep.

‘What?!’ Chanyeol ran to the trunk. Kyungsoo was still pretending to be asleep. The only way to get some peace and quiet around here.

‘Kyungsoo, please wake up. I love you. I’m sorry I dragged you to Japan like that.’ said Chanyeol.

‘I’m gonna get a bucket of water, stay here.’ said Baekhyun.

With that, Kyungsoo bolted from his position, and hit his head on the roof of the car. He winced and grabbed the top of his head. ‘God damn it, Baek!’

‘I’m not the one pretending to be dead.’ retorted Baekhyun.

‘Let’s get inside, Soo,’ said Jongin. He helped him out of the car, and held on to his arm. ‘You have a lot to tell us.’

[rustandruin]

Who would be who in a robron pride and prejudice au?

Dearest Anon,

Please sit down. Because this is the TED Talk I have been waiting to give. (P&P one of my favourite novels, and I worship at the altar of Queen Austen.)

So, when looking at it for my Big Bang (which is my deconstructed take on, and subsequent ode to this novel), I realised early on that Aaron actually makes an excellent Elizabeth — especially in a modern context. He has the wit and intelligence that she so displays, as well as what would be her own pride and prejudice towards Darcy. Not to mention all the social status stuff. The Dingles are comfortable enough social class, but still on the lower side in terms of general finance, much like the Bennets.

This, of course then casts Robert in that key role, which is great because like Darcy, you don’t get to know the real Robert right away. That is something that is only privy to those who love and know him and are quite close to him. (As we see on the show, that is mostly Aaron. Only he has seen Robert in his entirety since he came back, first as a bisexual, and then for the knowledge of what happened between Jack and him. That is some powerful stuff.)

Therefore, as an extension of this, Home Farm becomes Netherfield, Adam becomes Jane (LOL), while Vic serves as the good natured Bingley. This makes sense with how Robert also didn’t want those two getting married in canon.

As for the Bennets themselves, the Dingles make fine substitutes, especially with the way Zak and Sam can be at parties with alcohol. Then there’s Cain’s general rudeness, Charity’s designs for the Sugden fortune, and Marlon’s jokes in general. Robert would not enjoy any of that — and that’s before there’s talk of drinking out of a welly. (Now, you know Darcy would do this for Elizabeth in a heartbeat if she ever did ask, just like Robert would Aaron.)

In terms of Mr. Collins and Charlotte, Alex Mason (LOLOLOL) and Finn would make excellent fits, and not just because Chas would have a heart attack while Paddy would forbid the union to spare Aaron, but because Alex to his credit has the same demeanour, while Finn would be quite pleased with the relationship. (I really do wish those two could have met. They had that same intensity and obsession with Aaron.)

Lastly, we need a Wickham and a Lydia to really expedite matters, thusly I suggest Lachlan and Belle. Only instead of that romantic tangent, Lachlan is this young wayward teen Aaron sees himself in and takes under his wing because he too needed a fair shake once upon a time. So when Lachlan reveals his true colours and runs away with Belle, you get that same breach of trust and also drama. (Lachlan deserved one last face off against both Aaron and Robert, and since this is a modern AU, I’d twist it so he’d get it here. Even if Lizzie doesn’t take off on horseback with Darcy.)

Eric and Val both serve as Lady Catherine. They possibly have designs for Robert to marry a kid of theirs.

Of course, the crux of this matter is Aaron and Robert having to put aside their prices and face their initial prejudices against each other. Because much like on the show, they had these ideas of each other, but once that falls away and they see each other, they realise they’re more similar than either of them thought and that they could not love the other any further than they already do. (Lizzie’s pride comes from the initial rejection, while Darcy’s from his inability to talk to her. For Aaron it’s seeing Robert be a huge smug flirt. For Robert it’s not knowing Aaron is gay, but then reacting to Aaron’s rudeness.)

Also, the genius of this novel is that yes, there are “villains,” but the true hindrance of love is their own foolish preconceptions. Because to love someone else, sometimes you have to get over yourself. Just as those two idiots managed.

In any case, Aaron would turn down that proposal and accuse Robert of all sorts, which Robert would then still refute in a hand written letter, because he is a dramatic bisexual. He’d visit Robert’s real home in Leeds and see how he is with Vic and he’d realise that shit, he loves him. Cue some cute awkward flirting, then Lachlan drama, and then we’d get a dramatic walk across a field (because the show down happened near the Dingle’s Farm, with Aaron getting mad that Robert risked his life, and Robert saying, “Surely, you must know…”

Then they kiss just as the sun rises. (Charity also makes a crass joke about having Marlon make whatever it is Robert wants to eat. Neither is happy, but they live through it. Aaron is embarrassed.)

They’d then get married. Everyone on the periphery would be stunned. Basically, just like canon.

(Robert would also bring Vic back with him, and she and Adam would get together and also be married. Home Farm’s streak of terrible owners would end, because a Sugden and Barton would be in charge.)