#like would not know that red pandas are not pandas
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
the doctors and companions as animals that fit their vibe
nine: dolphin. i had a friend who used to say "nine scares me, he looks like a shark" and everytime it would make me grouchy. she was kinda right, though. but i think dolphin is closer. i know dolphins aren't actually that nice, but today we're mostly judging based on looks and nine most definitely has the vibe of a dolphin: gentle eyes, a huge smile, a very loud, fantastic voice, fast, cheeky and excited. oh, and a big nose as well
rose: seahorse. idk, it just fits. it's the fact that they're colourful creatures maybe, and the shape of the jaw, or also how magic they are... can't really explain it! rose just reminds me of a seahorse
mickey: tiger. it's in the face shape and those facial expressions he gets when he stands up to the doctor or anyone who goes against his beliefs, i think
jack: american black bear. not grizzly bear, not polar bear (although i did hesitate with polar bear), american black bear all the way. first, cause he's american so it's funny. second, cause bears are massive creatures and jack is tall and muscular. third, again, the head shape (which is why grizzly bear was out of the way). fourth, both are hug shaped, wild and actually dangerous
ten: fennec. do i really need to explain that one? big brown eyes, cute af, high-pitched voice and funny jaw... yeah, ten is a fennec
martha: zebra. this one i really can't explain! but i'll still try: i'm not really familiar with zebras, so idk how they behave, but they look gentle, and i've heard they're intelligent, sensitive creatures as well. which is what martha is. i think it's also in the pretty brown eyes with long lashes hihi
donna: doe. maybe some of you will be mad i didn't just say fox, or disagree cause the doe is known to be a fearful, quiet creature, and donna is absolutely none of this. but hear me out: she is gentle and when she's not screaming at the top of her lungs, there's something so soothing and ethereal about her. they are both very maternal, and red hair holds -to me- a connection to nature that no other colour does. the doe has huge brown eyes, and donna's eyes, although huge, are blue. but when you look into them, you can see a gentleness that knows no bounds and that is why i chose it as donna's animal. also the little spots on baby deer remind me of her freckles (yes i am in love with her shut up)
eleven: racoon. well... yall got stuck on the giraffe but eleven is a little shit and so is the racoon. i absolutely do not have anything deep or smart to add to this, i just feel it in my gut
river: leopard. fast, dangerous, elegant, and also the colour palette kinda fits. and! the female feline usually does all the work so that's the tea for today
amy: red panda. red hair, round face, big eyes, cute... yup, amy's a red panda for sure
rory: koala bear. they both look like they get screwed over on a daily poor little guys. gentle and slow, the koala bear is rory's perfect fit. also, they have a similar nose shape
clara: elf owl. just like that bird, clara is small, has enormous brown eyes, a cute little mouth and a sorta heart-shaped face. i think it's one of my best choices
twelve: crow. crows are smart, edgy, actually very sensitive and like to hang out with living creatures even though you often see them alone, and they're also annoying af, can't stfu, hold grudges and take their revenge. twelve is mostly all that. also if i remember correctly he seemed to relate to and like crows
missy: peregrine falcon. idk, missy does have a bird face with her long sharp nose and big blue eyes. i even think michelle gomez mentioned it in an interview (like, she compared herself to a bird. maybe i'm delirious). falcons like to prey on small defenseless animals. missy does too
bill: horse. she kinda looks like a horse i think (it sounds mean but in my head it really isn't i promise). at first i said pony but then i remembered my mum saying ponies are dumb, petty creatures. bill on the other hand is smart, sensitive and gentle. she does still have a sharp edge to her, won't hesitate to kick your arse if so deserved, even if you're a 40000000 or whatever y/o time lord who looks like your local knowledgeable cool grandpa. which is why horse is a very nice fit for bill
nardole: penguin. the choice was so easy to make cause the man is bald, bitchy, weird and kinda walks like a penguin. we love you nardole, never change
thirteen: kangaroo. i don't have a clue as to why tbf. it's the sheer adhd, also the colour for some reason fits her, and the fact that they look nice and peaceful but are actually very dangerous, destructive creatures lol
yaz: hare. another one i can't explain. just fits. yaz, to me, didn't reach her full potential as a character, but what i did notice in her was her intuitiveness and how she usually kept her guard up. reminds me of hares. not just that but also the general vibe as well
graham: beaver. graham had this cute quirky little obsession with building a home and with his "fam" and that's what beavers are known for. apart from his blue eyes that differ from the beaver's own brown ones, he also physically reminds me of a beaver. and if beavers could talk i'm certain they would sound like graham o'brien
ryan: labrador retriever. i had a labrador once, they're goofy, awkward, impulsive, friendly creatures. and just as cats show severe signs of autism and adhd, labradors absolutely display symptoms of dyspraxia, which is what ryan has. both are disoriented and clumsy. they also will do anything to protect people they love, and then be like "oh shit" cause they actually can't really fight and keep putting themselves in situations
dan: wolf. idk he just really looks like a wolf
fourteen: coyote. we're staying in the canine family for david tennant. i did want to choose something other than ten's for fourteen cause they have such a different vibe. there's something really pitiful about coyotes that fits this man perfectly. again with the high-pitched voice as well. anyway. fourteen is a coyote
fifteen: panther. fifteen is seductive, pretty, slim and smoothe af. he's also dangerous and yet you still wanna hug him don't you? yeah that's how panthers make me feel
ruby: dormouse. ruby is cute as hell, i think we can all agree on this. i chose this rodent specifically because of its slightly rounder face shape (hamster might have been more accurate but i hate hamsters so much man, ruby deserves better). she's always so stressed and jumpy as well, which is why to me a small rodent was an appropriate choice
belinda: european robin. she has the elegance of a robin, she's adorable, she's fierce and quick and physically reminds me of a little bird for some reason and that is all honestly
#doctor who#dw#ninth doctor#rose tyler#mickey smith#captain jack harkness#tenth doctor#martha jones#donna noble#eleventh doctor#river song#amy pond#rory williams#clara oswald#twelfth doctor#missy doctor who#bill potts#nardole#thirteenth doctor#yazmin khan#graham o'brien#ryan sinclair#dan lewis#fourteenth doctor#fifteenth doctor#ruby sunday#belinda chandra#feel free to bring your opinion to this#i've spent half the night doing this cause i couldn't sleep lol
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
yes, jayce talis CAN be a hextech genuis AND a himbo
#simultaneously#ma boi is SO SMart AND SO DUMB#like would not know that red pandas are not pandas#jayce talis#jayce league of legends#jayce arcane#jayvik#meljayvik#meljay#for good measure#arcane
234 notes
·
View notes
Note
....✨️👀
How about for drawing requests, Shadow or one of the boys as a cat. Could be answered as writing instead though if you don't want to draw it. 🤗✨️

Red‘s a professional Nosy Botherer.
#lunavagans#requests#asks#four swords#red link#looks kinda like a red panda lmao#shadow would be the blob of darkness that sometimes breaks smth and then demands cuddles#blues the eternally offended very pretty one#green is every orange cat ever#vio is the diva thats either really stupid or cant be bothered to seem smart#the best thing about drawing cats? every shape can make sense#dont need to know much anatomy just need to watch some move around regularly
15 notes
·
View notes
Note
so your turning red au.. how does wally’s crosses break? what kind of shenanigans happen when others find out?

And that last part is for another time hehe, also I’m finishing the fnaf one lol.
so uh, you like cringe? That’s what I just made lol
#wally darling#welcome home art#wally#welcome home wally#welcome home au#turning cerulean au#turning red au#sally starlight#cringe#so uh Wally doesn’t know what to do#He’d usually be more calm#But the breaking of the cross meant his panda could get loose#Making his emotions heightened with fear#And all together making it worse for himself#It’s a bad cycle lol#I would have liked to put more effort into this#but I have quite a few projects I’m trying to catch up on#Thanks for asking!
153 notes
·
View notes
Text
thinking of writing a zombies au where there was a very similar zombie apocalypse in a different town but instead of lime soda, it was lemon
#probably won't write it but i'm definitely thinking about it#so all the zombies have yellow hair instead if green#and their outfits are shades of yellow green and white#and instead of z-bands they have different forms of accessories that are able to do the same thing#<- like how in turning red the aunties all had their pandas stored in a different accessory#i would probably have to ignore that the moonstone canonically created the zombies tho...#and the lemon fog covered almost all of their town so save for a few human families it's basically a zombie town#what's the conflict you ask???#i definitely have one i just don't know if it's good#so did with all this what you will :)#disney zombies#zombies
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
you know the content drought is bad when you think about content from over a year ago and still get excited
#this is about gregorys voicelines in ruin#i cannot express to u all how hype his trailer lines were to me#it was insane#especially bc back then before ruin i was fully under the impression both gregory and vanessa would be returning in ruin#which wasnt even a crazy assumption like. they were the only characters in the story besides the animatronics#but alas here we are#im still hype as fuck tho for when they come back for real#its in the horizon i can feel it#i truly have so much hope because of secret of the mimic#its marking the end of the mimic being integrated and the beginning of it just being IN the story already#and the story now being able to progress instead of only introductions#hype as fuck#especially as someone whos a gregory fan and knows for sure he'll come back#at the very least just for cassies elevator plotline#but i really think he'll be allowed to have more going on than just what relates to cassie#theres ggy after all and we all know they know about that shit#those references are a giant red blinking arrow towards screentime#but i also dont think thatll be all hes going to have going on from now on either#fully expecting it to be established not in real time in like a prequel or something similar#at least referenced from the past#then when hes doing shit in real time in the present its just gregory#pandas.txt#pandas talks
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
S o. You know that kinda niche meme of asking people to meet you in a Denny's parking lot as shorthand for meaning that two people are going to brawl and freaking fight?? W e l l. It has become a kind of insider joke with my friends and I and... u h...
IT IS THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MONTH, @paintedkinzy-88, I DIDN'T FORGET. HAVE AN EXTREMELY CURSED BIRTHDAY GIFT-
How this all happened is because I think, if I can remember right, Kinzy had an objectively trash opinion about Hamburger Helper, which is this boxed noodle food.

I don't even remember what it was, I just remember their opinion was objectively trash. So I said as such. Then Kinzy told me to meet them in a Denny's parking lot, 9:00 o'clock sharp, and we can settle our disputes there. Fast forward to this now being a sort of insider joke whenever we disagree about something. (The fight was abruptly cut short 'cus Kinzy left the fight BECAUSE A FANFIC UPDATED- I might make sketchy doodles of that in the future, I don't know-)
All in all, I was wondering what I could draw for my fren's birthday. Until I remembered this stupid joke between us, and then I thought I could draw it as an actual fighting game, which I figured would be so stupid but so ridiculously fun.
Here's one without the word in the middle lol
ALSO, AS A BONUS.
I made a template version! :D So, if you guys want to draw YOUR persona beating me up, you can!! There's a version with the "FIGHT" in the middle and one without because I thought it would be helpful to give both versions >:D
Finally, I found the background on Google. It was so funny because it was a Denny's parking lot, but with police cars. I thought it fit so well for a fighting game background. For the text on the picture like the names and stuff, I used マティス Pro font, or roughly the Matisse Pro font on Medibang. I found ways to download it, such as this site, but there are other sites you can find to download it from! This way, if you would like your persona's name in the corner to be the same font as the rest of the words, you'll be able to do that. XD
#This is such a cursed drawing#But I love it so freaking much#Main inspirations were Street Fighter and BlazBlue#I thought it would be so funny to turn an insider joke between us into a mock fighting game#Then I thought it would be so cool to make a template for others to use too if they want to#If they ever felt the u r g e to just pummel my teeny red panda persona for instance#I was originally just going to make us holding up fists but I thought giving us somewhat powersets/abilities would be more fun#I imagine my powers like pastel colored magic. When I hit; it changes to the other colors of the rainbow#When my pink hand hits; it turns to orange; then to yellow; etc. When my green foot hits; it turns to light blue; then dark blue; etc.#Kinzy has Raphael knives from TMNT#If you know you know#Sorry not sorry Kinzy
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
I can already see the hate the new Shrek movie is about to get simply because they changed the animation style
#I totally agree btw#the only good thing about this movie is zendaya#WHY WOULD THEY CHANGE THE ANIMATION????? IT WAS OERFECT BEFORE#now it looks like a modern disney movie#you know like the ones with that red panda in#I'm so frustrated about this
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Got to take some stuff home from the ceramics workshop I went to and the highlight has got to be the little tiger I made that went through so much character development he became a raccoon



Poorly made but much beloved <3
#look I know what you're thinking#“How tf was that supposed to be a tiger??”#“it doesn't even look like a raccoon!” i know#I made him in a rush with some leftover throwing clay (I'm horrible at throwing and there were many failed attempts)#so he went from Blob to Little Tiger With A Rush-Job Tail#then I fucked up on glazing when I realized the “orange” was actually red and panicked for a bit before winging it to the next viable option#and so Little Tiger became Little Red Panda#and then during the firing process for his glazing#the outrage of his ancestors before him#the silt and mud and rock and earth he formed from#elected that such an elegant and magnificent being cannot be fashioned in the colour red#it is far too impractical in survival situations#and thus he was born from the flames...#brown.#ceramics#glazing is a bitch#i was warned it would be a bitch#now I believe it#i do love him though#he's very shiny#thus lads ladies and liberals I am happy to introduce: himd#poorly made but much beloved <3
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
// Some WTTG muses and the live action FCs I've given them
The Breather (Anthony Harrigan) // The Executioner (Trevor Donovan) // The Kidnapper (David Gandy)
The Other Kidnapper (Fyodor Bondarchuk) // Ms. Noir (WTTG2) (Angelina Jolie) // Mr. Noir (WTTG2) (David Beckham)
#// will i ever get to use these fcs?#// probably not#// i dont get to write these m.uses in t.hreads as much as i would like ;u;#// but theyre all my criminal little meow meows all the same#// also idk if there's any controversy around these actors#// but just in case#// i dont endorse it. i know literally nothing about any of these people#// i am literally only using them bc theyre good matches for what i visualize each of these m.uses looking like irl#// i dont keep up with hollywood gossip. political opinions. or anything else. i dont know anything theyve said or done recently#// and all the shit i do watch is ☠️ anyway so if theyre fucked up then im not giving them any money for it anyway#// and i promise that one red panda using their faces to write my silly little stories is not promotional material or platforming for them#about : you’re just a lost cause#visage : smile for the camera#( cm : michael chavez the breather )#( cm : joseph wilson the executioner )#( cm : dmitry alehin the kidnapper )#( cm : boris alehin the other kidnapper )#( cm : the noir )
7 notes
·
View notes
Note
i wish there was some sort of official alternate reality thing where we see what sonic would’ve been like had he stuck with his prototype rabbit design, though i guess the superstars skin is a good start
i remember when the earliest details for sonic prime were starting to come out people thought it was gonna be like a dimension hopping sort of show where we visit a bunch of alternate universes that already existed rather than the stuff with the paradox prism. anyway i think if we had gotten that version of the show instead then a universe where everyone is in their beta design would have been really fun to see
#i know a lot of characters had different names or species in their earliest designs#like iirc rouge was called nails cream was a raccoon or a red panda or something shadow was named terios#i think i remember hearing that knuckles was a dinosaur and silver was a mink named venice but im too lazy to check if im right#well i know im right about silvers name but idk for certain about the species#actually the thing of the games/shows trying to convince us that sonic and shadow look alike would have been 10 times funnier#in this potential alternate universe where theyre not even the same species#ironically shadows earlier design actually looks much similar to sonic than the final design does#asks
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
god can people please stop taking pictures with wildlife please for the love of god just fucking stop taking pictures with wild animals i am going to scream
all those people (with maybe 1 or 2 exceptions) with "rescues" in the US on tiktok are fucking awful people and they're directly contributing to the exotic pet trade
#i have had MULTIPLE ARGUMENTS#with people on tiktok#about how these people should NOT own those animals#girly with a squirrel monkey doing makeup for views has not looked into proper animal welfare i promise you#all those monkeys you see as pets on tiktok? probably taken right out of the wild#AND PEOPLE HAVE THE FUCKING NERVE TO SAY 'leaving them in the wild is what made them extinct'#MY BROTHER IN CHRIST WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT#god i could talk about this for hours#monkeys taken out of the wild for the pet trade are taken as babies#how do they get taken as babies? most of the time the mothers are shot#and then the babies grow up surrounded by humans and not other monkeys and they have no idea how to communicate with their own kind#someone on tiktok said they couldn't give up their monkey to a zoo or sanctuary coz it wouldn't be happy there and it's fine with her#meanwhile it's wearing a nappy#LIKE OF COURSE IT WOULD STRUGGLE AROUND ITS PEERS. IT CANT COMMUNICATE. THAT'S YOUR FAULT.#i'm a zookeeper and i had to 'argue' with a teen about how she could not own capuchins as pets and my god it was frustrating#'but i see them all the time on the internet'#yes i kNOW AND I HATE THAT#but this applies to a LOT of animals#otters. tigers. red pandas. parrots. owls. reptiles. so fucking MANY#i have many many opinions that a lot of people i think would disagree with (people who have not studied/worked with animals)#don't even get me started on those fucking animal cafes in japan and korea
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
Rodrick headcanons.
————————————
Author’s note: just some fluff headcanons about our favorite drummer <3
————————————
Rodrick is the type of boyfriend that takes the bus only because you take it too
Or he would be driving you to school, but when he found out that he could sleep on the bus too,
He was taking it everyday.
He falls asleep on your shoulder, and to wake him up you have to give him an hard shake.
Like really hard.
If you buy him a good eyeliner and a good makeup remover, he’s gonna be the happiest man alive.
He never really takes off his makeup
And he ends up looking like a panda
So you saved his life.
Nap dates!
At school, he sleeps, stares at you, and writes some lyrics for his band.
He doesn’t really listens
Because he knows you’re gonna explain everything to him after school.
Doesn’t know how to read the room.
Rodrick has to look cool, so he can’t show to anyone how smitten for you he actually is.
Especially in front of his family.
Will ask you to do his makeup, only if he notices that you wear it everyday
And that didn’t happen soon
(He’s a bit slow)
He thought you were only gonna do his eyeliner
But then you show up at his house with all your makeup products
And he’s forced to put all those things on his skin.
Will complain a lot about the foundation
And you definitely will poke his eye with both the eyeliner and the mascara.
after Heather's birthday (iykyk) he went back home in shame and cried
as his best friend, you had to comfort him
and after that, he noticed how much you take care of him
like…always
things that he never gave importance to
and he started liking you
fuck Heather (real 😔), there was you
now he was around you even more
calling you late at night
he confessed on the phone because he was too shy
(but you accepted anyway)
and the morning after, he came to pick you up
(his cheeks were so red)
you gave him a kiss on the cheek instead of the usual small hug
and he melted
you didn't really really talk to him at school, but then confronted him about it
and you made official your relationship
at first you didn't tell anyone
(even if it was obvious)
but then Greg saw you two all snuggled up in his bed
and he told his mom just to spite Rodrick
————————————
and from there the whole world knew.
here's part two
#rodrick heffley x reader#fanfic#diary of a wimpy kid#doawk#doawk rodrick#rodrick heffley#diary of a wimpy kid rodrick#rodrick x reader#rodrick x y/n#greg heffley#friends to lovers#roderick heffley#headcanon#doawk greg
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
A giant bear and a tiny monkey, from the same home!
Back in August a gentleman reached out to me about his wife's giant panda, Edward (Eddie) Bear. He wasn't just giant by breed, but he was actually a giant at about 5 feet from head to toe.
Here are some diagnosis photos:


In addition to stuffing compression, Eddie had quite a few seam issues, and some (not visible) tears. He came to the hospital for a spa and wound repair. Here he is in his bubble bath (he gets the giant tub).:-)

Restuffing took quite a few adjustments to get his shape right, but soon he was restuffed, fur fluffed, wounds repaired, and ready to head home:

Now Eddie headed home and his family was very happy! They wrote:
"Thank you so much, Beth, for providing the excellent care that our boy needed and deserved.
S and I are 100% satisfied with his outcome, so much cleaner, much less slouched and his wounds are all fully healed.
I wonder how many people realize and act on their true calling in life.
I believe I do with my wood working, and I know you do with Realms of Gold."
Nice, yes? But even better... a few weeks later the gentleman's wife reached out. Now that Eddie was better, she wanted to get her husband's companion, Mr. Monkey repaired. She wrote:
"First off let me start by telling you how happy Les and I are with the care you gave Eddie Bear. He is like new again and we are so pleased!
Sooo, it got me thinking about Mr. Monkey. Mr. Monkey is Les’ child and has definitely seen better days. I have my doubts as to whether he can be helped because of the shape he is in. But I thought it was worth a try to inquire."
Here are his diagnosis photos, and if you've been a long time reader of my blog, you may guess my response... he's not nearly as bad as you think and we can definitely help him!



The plan was a spa and recovering Mr. Monkey's brown. The brown area was originally knitted (which I don't repair), but we agreed recovering it in a fur or fabric would add to his stability without changing his personality. So he came to the hospital and....
Here he is in his spa:

Much tinier than Eddie, Mr. Monkey is slightly bigger than a hand!
Of course Mr. Monkey (and Eddie) got hearts of original stuffing... here are the two hearts:


There were several fabric options for Mr. Monkey's brown, and his people opted for a thin minky fur. Here he is all better!



Mr. Monkey headed home and when he arrived his family wrote:
"Mr. Monkey is home safe and sound! He looks GREAT! He said he enjoyed being at the hospital, getting such great care from you! By the way he talks, I think he’s quite smitten with you! He says he’ll miss you!
Anyway, we can’t thank you enough for your TLC and expertise!
Don’t you love the red bow tie? It came on a Christmas gift and L snatched it and saved it for when Mr. Monkey returned home. "
And here he is looking spiffy in that new bow tie!

#stuffed animal repair#stuffed animal cleaning#stuffed animal hospital#giant panda#giant teddy bear#sock monkey#monkey#toy monkey#stuffed monkey#stuffed panda#teddy bear#teddy bear repair#teddy bear cleaning
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
(SHE’S) JUST A PHASE CHAPTER CHAPTER TWELVE: sweet dreams, tn
masterlist





“So where’s your lover boy?” Panda asks, his voice cutting through the cacophony of laughter and music as he trails you through the crowded corridors, dodging the sea of bodies like a seasoned sailor.
Pit pit pit pit—the sound of eight pairs of feet creates a chaotic rhythm that echoes off the walls, blending with the chatter, screams from fangirls, and the distant sound of music. The air is thick with anticipation, a pre-show buzz that somehow amplifies your frustration.
You stop suddenly, squinting against the bright lights overhead, still disoriented in this maze of unfamiliar hallways. You were reread Megumi’s text for the hundredth time.
“It’s simple, just walk straight, take the second left, and then the first right.”
“Simple my ass,” you mutter, irritation creeping into your voice. You can feel the fabric of your outfit constricting slightly as your heart races—not just from the crowd, but from the thought of him, wherever he might be.
“Yn, do you even know where you’re going?” Nobara interjects, arms crossed and feet tapping impatiently. “I didn’t put on my red bottoms just to wander around like a lost kid in target.”
Her tone is playful, but there’s an edge of seriousness. You can picture her frustration—she's here to make an impression, and you can’t let her down. She mumbles something under her breath, probably a jab about you and megumi, which she blames on you ovulating. You roll your eyes, mentally flipping her off.
“Yn, maybe you should use your third eye to find him,” Panda suggests, a mischievous grin spreading across his face.
“Third eye?” you ask, bewildered.
“Your vagina” he raises an eyebrow, teasingly dragging out the moment.
Maki snickers.
“Maki, why are you laughing? Shouldn’t you be helping?” Panda shoots back, exasperated, though his tone is more playful than annoyed.
Maki rolls her eyes but doesn’t miss a beat. She raises her fist, mock-threatening to punch Panda, but they both stumble back, narrowly avoiding a group of crew members wrestling with a mountain of band equipment. One of them shoots you a bemused glance, clearly accustomed to the chaotic energy that follows your group.
“Shit, sorry, everyone,” you murmur, barely looking up from your phone. Your thumbs fly over the screen, sending a heated text to that infuriatingly charming guitarist.
Your frustration simmers just below the surface, not just from his latest blunder but from the way your emotions twist like a tangled cord—half excitement, half anxiety.
You can’t help but think of how he always manages to distract you, his grin igniting a flutter in your chest. The irony of searching for him while being completely consumed by thoughts of him doesn’t escape you.
“Yn?” A voice echoes through the dimly lit corridor, pulling you from your thoughts.
You look up to find Megumi standing there, his expression softening as he meets your gaze.
“Hey,” you reply, your voice a gentle murmur, but he hears you easily.
The surrounding group begins to disperse, each member pairing off into their conversations—Maki and Yuta engaged about their next date, Panda and Toge animatedly debriefing about the latest talk gush episode, and Nobara mocking Yuji about his latest blunder on Twitter, laughter spilling out like a warm embrace.
“Sooo, how’s it going?” you ask slyly, trying to mask the sudden flutter of nerves that stir within you.
Why does this feel different tonight? You’ve shared countless moments, yet there’s an undeniable weight in the air that makes your heart race.
A smirk curls at the corners of Megumi’s lips, amusement dancing in his eyes. He finds your nervousness both cute and entertaining.
“You know my fans would kill you if they found out the mystery girl I’ve been seeing is at the show tonight.”
You arch an eyebrow, a playful glint in your gaze. Your fingers find their way to his chest, lightly tracing the fabric of his shirt before hovering near his lips, an invitation and a tease. His breath hitches, hanging in the air like an unspoken promise, thick with unacknowledged tension.
“Guess we’ll just have to keep it a secret then, huh?” you reply, leaning in slightly, enjoying the way his pulse quickens under your touch.
“Oi, come on, lovebirds! We perform in twenty!” a voice calls from behind you, interrupting the moment. It’s the white-haired boy, his tone both teasing and urgent.
You glance back at him, rolling your eyes playfully as you stick out your tongue.
“Can’t a girl have a moment?” you shoot back, a lightness in your voice that contrasts with the intensity of the moment you just shared.
“Seems like you have to go,” you say, brushing imaginary nerves off his shoulders with a teasing gesture, your fingertips lingering a moment too long.
Megumi gazes at you in silence, as if he’s trying to memorise every detail—the way your hair falls around your shoulders, the sparkle in your eyes that seems to illuminate the dim corridor.
Were you always this beautiful, or is it just the shoddy lighting casting a warm glow around you?
“Good luck,” you say, rising onto your tiptoes to press a soft kiss to his cheek. The warmth of your lips against his skin sends a thrill through you, a jolt of something unspoken.
With that, you turn and dash off to catch up with your friends, laughter bubbling up as you leave him behind, your heart still racing.
You glance back to find Megumi standing there, visibly starstruck, watching you with a mix of admiration and disbelief. There’s a new softness in his gaze, one that makes your chest tighten with something you can’t quite name.
You can’t help but laugh, the sound light and carefree, as you turn away.
God, he was down bad.
extras!
• COME BACK SEUNGHAN 🙏🙏
• yn lowkey gafs about megumi now chat…
• is this the enemjes to lovers we were all longing for? lol just wait until next chapter
• yn was ON that ledge like fully over the barricade SOMEONE HELP THE POOR GIRL
• ynmegumi interaction again hiiiii
• are they… falling in love with eachother???
• oh there’s sukuna hi boyfie
• he got another number… just for us? awww😍😍
• if he wanted to he would
a/n: FINALLY UP TO DATE WITH THE CHAPTERS EVERYBODY CHEER!!! this was lowkey a filler chapter but next chapter is going to be so GOOD. like i said we’re just getting started? you thought this was going to be a fluffy fic? LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER
taglist: @shokosbunny @luvvmae @satoryaa @prozacprinc3ss @essjujutsu @therealsatorugojo @yeehawslap @gojodickbig @dawnisatotalqueen @j2upiters @nappingnai @lalalasillybilly3000 @totallytatum @3cst4syy @lysaray @saltypuffin1040 @aozui @noodles-icetea @makeshiftproject @kurtcobaingirlie @kokoiinuts @renbittt @dashingaurries @slvttycorpse @cuupidsss @mochroialainn @tenjikusstuff4 @oroborosttheiii @ichcocat @laughingfcx @sugurubabe @allthestarsarecloserrrrrrr @tyigerz @yoyo-yui @megoomies @yizmiu @jasminasblog22 @marst4rz @guitarstringed-scars @kalulakunundrum @lovefrominaya @beepbopzlorp @itsdragonius @meguemii @chilichopsticks @starantulas @1l-ynn @pastriepuppy @rcveriees @solaqes @starrysho @sukunaspillow @evry1luvssm
*if i can't tag you please change your tag settings otherwise i will remove you from the list!
#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk crack#jjk x reader#jjk smau#jjk x you#jjk fluff#jjk!smau#jjk fanfic#jjk texts#jjk twitter#jjk tweets#megumi smau#megumi fluff#megumi x you#megumi x y/n#jjk megumi#jujutsu megumi#jujutsu kaisen megumi#megumi fushiguro#megumi x reader#jjk fushiguro#fushiguro x reader#fushiguro x you#jujutsu kaisen fushiguro
511 notes
·
View notes
Text

pleasure doing business with you
luigi mangione x reader
。𖦹°‧ you’re a broke college student in a pinch. but not to worry; you’ve found someone willing to help.
word count: 14k (sorry?😭) • part of a spoonful of sugar (read here!) • nsfw • read on ao3
tag list : @mangionebabymama , @mangobabygirl , @jenisaswift13 , @mangionesdaisy , @iinfinitelimits , @daydreamingwithluigi , @mrs-cactus69 , @mashkatzi , @straw8berry , @bean-is-reading (comment to be added)
warnings : f! reader; EXPLICIT; sugar daddy AU; some OCs; unironic use of the word “brunch”; ⚠️DADDY KINK⚠️; luigi calls U “princess”; praise; oral (m! + f! receiving); some spanking
notes : hi ok i’m so excited to post this pls let me know if U like this and want me to post more of Him because i have more sugar daddy ideas💚💚
In your defense, you’re broke as hell.
That’s a blunt way of putting it. To be more direct: you are a twenty-something college student barely scraping by on financial aid and tips from your opening shift at Hilton’s Cityscape, on top of the typical, abysmal, average salary of a bartender. You live in a somewhat cheap apartment at 1 Powell Street with your cat, Butters; you sleep on a stiff mattress and survive off the local Panda Express and suffer through the chilly nights—hell will freeze over before your landlord fixes the AC. You go to class and your shifts and barely get your bills paid each month, not unlike most of the nation, and you try. You try to smile and enjoy and appreciate what you have, even if it’s next to nothing.
The good news? You’re hot.
Not because of the shitty AC. You’re hot in the colloquial sense. You were blessed with all the features other women your age pray for, a natural beauty—something quite normal to see in San Francisco, but you have something rare to offer, too: a personality. You’ve got the looks and the brains. You are what people who are too polite would call “conventionally attractive”. You’ve got it going on. You are it.
So, what do hot women who are strapped for cash in San Francisco do?
They go to Red Velvet on Bryant Street, of course.
What the fuck is Red Velvet? is exactly what you ask Sheri when she thinks out loud to you at 3:36 one afternoon.
Sheri looks at you like you’ve grown two heads.
“Red Velvet,” she starts, “is the hottest bar for sugar daddies in SF. It’s always overflowing with guys who have too much money than they know what to do with—big tech CEOs and bankers and those types.”
“Right,” you nod, listening attentively. “So you think I should pick up a sugar daddy.”
“Well…” Sheri swipes the rag she’s holding over another glass swiftly. “I think you should pick up a sugar daddy safely.”
“Have you had one before?” you ask.
Sheri is your favorite co-worker. She’s older than you, closer to her fifties, and she is nothing if not an adventurous woman. You’ve heard many a stories of bad sex and strange men, collected over her years of hopping around the West Coast—a wonderful distraction from the equally strange men that often find themselves visiting your place of employment.
“A sugar daddy?” She laughs, grabs another glass from the dirty dish rack. “Honey, I was far too busy for that in my heydays. But a few of my girlfriends dabble in that space.”
You lean forward with your chin in your hand. “Do they like it?”
“I know a friend who’s got an arrangement with some politician from Washington,” Sheri says. “She hasn’t paid for anything in two years. I always see her wearing the gaudiest shit—fur coats and Balenciaga and shiny jewelry. She’s happy. Real happy.”
You smile to yourself.
“Sometimes,” she adds, “he lets her take some of us out to dinner with her. And, not to sound prissy, but the whole ‘fine dining’ thing? Just doesn’t make sense to me.”
“What?” You furrow your brows. “What don’t you like about it?”
“The portions are just too damn small!” she exclaims, face holding genuine resentment as she speaks—you’ve always appreciated her expressiveness. “The staff is always nice, but there’s just not enough food, if you ask me.”
That makes sense. Sheri loves her food. You do too, honestly.
“You think a sugar daddy would take me to McDonald’s?” you joke, giggling at her snort.
She shrugs it off—but you could find out.
That’s exactly what you decide to do one Saturday night, waltzing up to Red Velvet in the best dress you own: a flattering jade green with ribbing around the torso and a tight fit on the hips. To be completely transparent, you are nervous; you’re quite used to male attention, used to handling it with grace and respect for yourself, but this spot is an entirely new environment with entirely new patrons. You don’t know what to expect. You have an idea of what a sugar daddy is, what he looks like and how he acts and dresses and speaks, but it’s quite different to encounter one in the wild. People only ever do this kind of thing online, you think.
You scan the scene. There are mostly men of varying, typically older age, but there are some women, too, mainly concentrated at the bar to your left. Eye candy. Probably not regulars. You conclude that this must be your best bet, and so you grab a seat at the far end, looking over the menu and deciding on something simple: a gin and tonic.
And for a while, you enjoy it in a comfortable silence, sipping and appreciating the scenery, the ostentatious decor and dim lighting and cursive signage. It’s definitely the kind of bar that rich guys would frequent, more specifically sugar daddies, if the guests in attendance weren’t proof enough.
But your expectations are firmly challenged when you are approached by your first man of the night.
Well, not quite approached. Rather, he comes up to order, and you are at the bar—so naturally, your eyes meet and your paths cross. You survey your catch and quickly find that he is different; most of the men at Red Velvet are fifties-to-sixties, not particularly attractive (definitely not without its silver foxes, though!), typically already accompanied by a woman. This man, though…He catches your eye. He’s young, perhaps even close to your age, and he’s fit, and he’s fine. He is fine as a motherfucker, indeed. At first you peg him as a Montgomery Street type, maybe a stock trade guy—but despite his current location, ordering a drink at this high-end sugar daddy outfit, this man looks unconstrained; put together but certainly not flashy. His suit is as simple as his choice of beverage—a banana daiquiri—and the first words he utters to you are modest but direct:
“You’re wearing green.”
That you are.
You turn to him, face kind but slightly puzzled. “Yup. Green.”
He explains: “Forgive my candor. Green is my favorite color—I never see women as pretty as you wearing it, though.”
Oh, so he’s slick.
“I’m flattered,” you say with a smile. “Thank you.”
Looking him in the eye, you can get a much better picture of this man, even in the low light of the bar. His hair is curly, wild, begging for hands to touch and pet and pull, and his eyebrows are just as sharp as his jawline and the bridge of his nose. He’s clean-shaven, for the most part, but a neat five o’clock shadow is growing in on his jaw and under his chin; you imagine, briefly, how that stubble might feel against your lips, your neck, your—
“May I ask what brings you here?” he inquires. “It’s not often this place is blessed with such beauty.”
Man, he’s persistent, isn’t he? You tuck your hair behind your ear and rest your chin on top of your clasped hands.
“Are you here often?” you ask. It’s best to scope out any danger before you get down to business—as a young woman, you learned that the hard way. This guy could be a creeper, for all you know, picking up girls at niche bars and taking them home to chop up or god knows what.
He grins, traces the rim of his glass. “How’d you think I could point out a newbie so easily?”
You smile back.
“Do you live in the area?” he asks.
You definitely don’t. Bryant Street is twenty minutes out from the lofts at Powell. You’re starting to wonder if maybe newcomers aren’t welcome at Red Velvet; perhaps this man didn’t come to flirt. Perhaps he’s sniffing you out, keeping the turf safe from intrusion.
“Close enough,” you lie. “I work in the area.”
It isn’t that crazy of a fib—Cityscape is only an eight minute drive from here.
“Well, where do you work?”
Fuck. Fuck. Might as well stick to reality as much as you can, right?
“I bartend at Ernest,” you say, sipping your drink. Ernest is more of a fine dining establishment than a bar, but it’s on Bryant—albeit further down the street—so it works. Sheri has mentioned grabbing drinks there before. It surprises you that you even remembered Ernest exists.
He nods, seemingly trusting. “Is it a nice place? I’ve never been, but some of my buddies have.”
You shrug. “It pays. You get pretty tired of all the sexual harassment after a while, though.”
He laughs—a soft but warm chuckle, his dimpled smile practically reaching his ears.
You’ve always liked being able to make men laugh. It helps quite a lot when they’re this handsome.
“What about you?” you ask. “Do you work around here?”
“In the city,” he answers simply. “I do data for TrueCar. Not very special.”
Ah. You’ve heard of it in passing, probably online, but you don’t know much beneath the surface. Admittedly, it does sound pretty boring. You imagine cars have to be involved, which is a bit surprising—car salesman is a certain type, and this guy is not it. Data must mean he’s either a statistics or computer science major, which aren’t the most promising career paths as far as money goes—but he is in California, which might mean he got lucky.
“And how is that working out for you?” you ask, stirring your gin and tonic.
“It pays,” he says, mirroring you. “No sexual harassment, fortunately for me. I’m very sorry about yours.”
You wave a hand and laugh. “I’m quite used to it at this point.”
Right then your eyes meet. And for what feels like forever the two of you just stare at each other, smiles bright on your faces, chemistry rippling between the bar stools that keep you apart. The tension isn’t thick—it’s palpable. You’d need more than a knife to cut through it.
“Can I be honest?” you pipe up. As if you didn’t lie to this man about your job just a few minutes ago.
He nods. “I like honesty.”
You sip your cocktail. Swallow. Breathe. Then:
“I’ve been in a tight spot with money, recently,” you explain. “A friend told me about this place, that I could maybe find someone to help me out here, so I came looking for…”
How do you put this?
“I came looking for an arrangement.”
His smile spreads across his teeth slowly, but its flame casts bright light throughout the bar—as if you are a speck of an ant on the ground, scorched by the mirror he holds.
“I knew you were here for a reason,” he remarks.
Yeah. You’re quite obvious, aren’t you?
“I feel like maybe I should apologize,” you mutter, shoulders sulking. Suddenly you feel quite shy.
“You shouldn’t,” he assures you. “Can I ask for your name?”
So you tell him, meekly. And then:
“Well,” he starts, echoing you; you make a mental note of how good your name sounds in his mouth. “I’m Luigi. I think I could help you with that money problem you have, and—if you don’t mind my saying—I’d be quite eager to.”
This Luigi guy is nothing if not blunt.
“So…” He reaches back and snatches his phone from a pocket, leaning toward you. “I’m gonna ask for your number. If you want to make one of these arrangements you speak of, you can call me anytime you like. How’s that sound?”
He’s handing you his phone now, screen already open to an empty contact page. You accept it hesitantly.
“You want me to call you?”
Luigi nods. “I want you to have time to think it over. If you change your mind, I wouldn’t want you to feel pressured.”
That makes your heart flutter a little. He’s sweet for a stranger.
You hand your completed contact to him with a smile, and he sends you a text so his number is easily accessible.
“I think you’ll be hearing from me,” you say, emboldened.
He grins as he stands from his seat. “I’ll be looking forward to it.” Then he adds: “No pressure.”
Just like that, he’s paying his tab, and the next moment he’s gone.
There are several thoughts swirling through your mind right now. But one thing you are sure of is that Sheri was right: Red Velvet is the spot.
“You’re telling me you found a daddy your first time there?”
Sheri looks flummoxed.
You tighten your apron and smirk. “I mean, I don’t know for sure if he’s looking for that.”
“He implied it,” she counters.
“Nothing is set in stone,” you say, popping the chewing gum in your mouth. A flood of tangerine works your tastebuds. “I’m supposed to call him to figure out our arrangement.”
“What’s he like?” Sheri asks. She turns toward the cash register.
Where to start? You hardly even know him and yet you could probably run your mouth for a solid hour about just his appearance, his honeyed voice, his sharp features.
“He’s cute,” you say simply. “Young. Kinda tall. Curly hair. I think he’s Italian, or something.”
“Italian?” She looks over her shoulder at you, quirks an eyebrow.
“His name is Luigi,” you enunciate. “You gonna tell me that’s not Italian?”
Someone at the bar orders a Galileo Highball. You pull a bottle of Hendrick’s from the shelf.
As you pour, she asks, “he got a brother?”
“Very funny,” you say, not laughing. “I don’t know. They say Italians like big families. I’d bet his is no different.”
You slide the finished cocktail toward your patron with a small smile, and Sheri comes up behind you, holding her own drink—probably Macallan, if she’s the same Sheri you know.
“What did I tell you about drinking on the job?” You shoot her a glance; half disapproving, half amused.
“It’s a slow night, mom.” She gives you a light shove on the shoulder, bangles clinking. “Tell me more about your beau.”
“I think he’s a nerd,” you offer. “He mentioned being a data scientist, or something. He works at TrueCar.”
“What is that?” Sheri narrows her thin eyebrows at you.
“They sell cars,” you shrug. “It doesn’t matter to me if he has money.”
She takes a swig from her glass. “Well, does he?”
“You said Red Velvet is where all the rich guys are, and that’s where he was at, so I don’t know, Sheri, you tell me.”
“That’s what I heard!” She raises her arms defensively. “Did he tell you how much he makes?”
Your eyes stiffen. “I think that would’ve been rude to ask.”
“It’s not rude if he’s gonna be your sugar daddy.”
She has a point.
You should probably find out.
One Tuesday afternoon before work you decide that a call is indeed in order—something to settle your nerves, fraught with anticipation since the night you met Luigi. His number is accordingly labeled with his name in your phone and it is not hard to find among your texts. Your hesitation only lasts a few seconds before you press the call button.
A familiar modest tone is quick to answer.
“Hello?”
Fuck. Fuck. You hadn’t quite thought out the rest of this.
“Luigi, hi! This is—”
“From Red Velvet,” he interjects. You’ve been recognized by voice alone. “Hi, there.”
He sounds busy. Men always sound busy.
“Is this a bad time?” you ask.
“Not at all,” he assures you. “I’m on lunch. Happy to hear from you.”
How does this kind of thing normally come together? You’ve never taken the 101 on sugar dating, and there’s certainly not a handbook—not one that you’ve heard of, anyway. Maybe you should’ve done a little more research.
You clear your throat. “So. I’ve been considering, um…The arrangement thing.”
His voice rumbles on the other end. “Mhm?”
“I think…I wanna try it. With you.”
It sounds like he chuckles. Then: “Is that so?”
Man, he’s not helping your nerves at all.
Swallowing thickly, you ask, “…is that okay?”
“Of course it’s okay,” Luigi says, voice warm. “I offered, silly.”
Why is it that the overwhelming urge to explain yourself always comes on the strongest with silence?
“I’m kinda nervous,” you preface. “I’ve never done anything like this before, and you’re really nice, so if I sound awkward or like I’m being an idiot, I promise it’s not on purpose—”
“Sweetheart,” he interrupts. You can practically hear the smile on his face. “It’s okay. I understand. I’m gonna walk you through it, okay?”
You nod like he can see you. “Okay.”
The noise in the background starts to quiet down as Luigi speaks:
“We’ll meet up to discuss everything first, lay out the rules and your pay and all that,” he starts. “Somewhere public. Nothing has to happen yet. Just for us to make a plan and get to know each other a little more.”
It’s comforting, how he goes out of his way to ensure that you feel safe. Meeting in an open, people-filled space seems like something you should be suggesting, rather than him. It’s sweet. Makes you feel a little woozy—in more places than one.
“You like brunch?” he asks. “I’ll get you some brunch if you want. I know a spot.”
Brunch. The word alone makes your face scrunch up. He’s cute. “Okay. That sounds nice.”
“Are you sure? We can go somewhere else. Whatever you want.”
“Brunch sounds good,” you concur. “I’m not picky.”
“Okay. Good deal.” You hear what sounds like a door closing. “Are you free this weekend?”
I can be, you don’t say. “You bet.”
“Saturday?” he pitches.
“Sure.”
“How’s eleven?”
A bit early—you like sleeping in! But you’ll do it for this gorgeous man.
At your agreement, he bookends the conversation:
“Alright. We’re gonna meet at the Wooden Spoon, on Market Street. At eleven. On Saturday. Sound good?”
“Sounds good,” you affirm.
Wooden Spoon. Market Street. Eleven. Saturday. It repeats in your head like a mantra. What will you wear? What time should you wake up? Should you eat a little bit before, so you don’t have to go wild in front of him? Not important. Not right now.
Your mind wanders further, because you allow it: do you deserve this? Are you worthy of a wealthy man’s spoils, of finer things, of something you believed you’d never once know the luxury of having? Not a day in your life did you imagine you’d wind up with this, on the phone with someone in a tax bracket you’re miles and miles behind, someone so humble and yet so blessed by whoever counsels the elite class up in heaven (or hell, more likely). These opportunities are one in a million, and you’ve found yourself lucky enough to draw the eyes of a willing devotee—you should be proud. You should be arrogant, bragging, full of yourself, flaunting the kind of ego you’ve managed to avoid for the twenty-ish years you’ve been on this planet. You just feel guilty.
Wooden Spoon. Market Street. Eleven. Saturday.
Luigi shows up not a minute after eleven o’ clock.
You’re already there. You made the effort to show up early—thirty minutes early, exact—wearing your favorite blouse, the one with little dragonflies printed all over, nails painted and lips glossed. You smell like a bakery and you look even more delicious. Yes. You feel ready.
At least, you do until he walks in.
Because he looks great. Even for a little brunch date, he’s glowing—practically a walking fucking Caravaggio painting. His baby blue button-down compliments his olive skin perfectly, collarbone peeking out from under almost sheer linen, and when you look closely enough…A thin, silver chain snakes around his neck, hidden underneath his shirt.
Fuck. You want it in between your teeth.
“Hey, sweetheart.”
You’re almost speechless as he takes a seat across from you. Man, you really should have prepared yourself more for this.
“Hi,” you greet, meekly.
“You haven’t been waiting long, have you?”
“Not at all,” you lie. He doesn’t need to know how much time you spent sitting in this very chair, worrying about this very moment. All at your own accord.
“Good,” Luigi says, nodding. Good that you weren’t waiting long. Good that you’re here, with him. He adds: “I’m glad to see you again.”
You attempt a smile. “I promise I am, too, I’m just—”
“Nervous?”
“Yeah,” you laugh. “Very.”
He taps his fingers over the menu laying on the table invitingly. “Let’s get some food in you. That’ll calm your nerves.”
So you look it over, ponder your options: avocado toast, smoothie bowls, fried chicken, patty melt…It all sounds really good when you haven’t eaten since your drunk lunch yesterday (which, to no one’s surprise, was similarly marred by your anxiety). You know one thing: some fresh squeezed orange juice sounds fucking bomb right now. Eventually you decide some scrambled eggs and buttermilk pancakes sound nice, too.
Luigi gets the avocado toast. Not what you were expecting.
“I felt like you’d be a bacon guy,” you say as the waitress waltzes off.
He shrugs, grins a little. “I don’t eat meat.”
Okay. So, you weren’t expecting that, either, but your next question is: How the fuck do you get that broad with no meat? You decide that’s an inappropriate question for brunch—table it for later. Later. You like the sound of a later.
“So, you work at Ernest, right?” he asks, sipping his tea.
Oh. Fuck. You forgot about that.
Fuck.
“I should probably tell you this now,” you start, voice shakier than you anticipate. “I, um—I lied. To you. About my job.”
His face doesn’t change much—Luigi just furrows an eyebrow at you. “Did you?”
“I know, I know, I’m really sorry!” By this point you can’t even remember why you lied to him—not after he’s taken this much caution in ensuring your comfort. “When I met you I had never been in the area before, and I was trying to play it safe, so I lied about where I work and I’m so so sorry—”
“Sweetheart,” Luigi interjects, placing his big, warm hands over yours. “I get it. Take a breath for me. Okay?”
He’s smiling a little, but only in amusement at how quickly you work yourself up. Over nothing. Per usual.
You breathe. “You’re not mad?”
“Not at all,” he says, shaking his head. “I understand why you’d want to keep that to yourself at first. You barely know me.”
Oh. Oh, wow. This is the very first time you’ve met a man who isn’t personally offended by your apprehension, and you’re starting to wonder if this one in particular is just a living fever dream, something you conjured up half asleep and yearning, something angelic. Something too good for you.
“I want to know you,” you utter.
“Okay. Fresh start.” He (gently, so, so gently) slaps his hands onto the table for emphasis. “Pretend Red Velvet didn’t even happen. Where do you work?”
“Cityscape,” you say, “at the Hilton in Union Square. Honest this time.”
“I believe you,” he nods, smiling. “Is that a bar?”
You nod with him. “I work opening shifts with my friend Sheri. She’s the one who told me about Red Velvet.”
“So, what you said about the sexual harassment must’ve been true.”
You almost choke on your mouthful of OJ. “Yeah. That part was true.”
While the two of you wait for your orders Luigi asks you some basic questions: how old you are, where you’re from, if you’re in school, what major, etc etc. You spend some time talking about college; you learn that Luigi is a much more impressive man than you would’ve guessed at first glance, a man with not one, but two degrees, each in computer engineering—turns out your intuition is pretty good! There’s also a background in some ultra nerd frat. That you wouldn’t have guessed. He’s halfway through a story about the night of his hazing when the hostess brings your plates out, sets them down on the table, aromatic and steaming.
You were already feeling less on edge—but the scrambled eggs certainly help.
“So…” Luigi starts after a bite of toast. “Do you want to get down to the nitty gritty?”
You blink. “You mean money stuff?”
“Yeah,” he chuckles. “Money stuff.”
Another bite. A sip of tea. Then:
“I like to start with paying per meet,” he says. “I figured I’d base your pay off of how much you’re needing, though. Do you have an idea of what that might be?”
“Hmm,” you hum, forking some eggs into your mouth. “Let’s see. Rent is $3,300, on top of utilities. My aid covers most of my bills for school, so that’s not a problem right now. I just need to keep a roof over my head.”
“How much are you making a month?” he asks.
“Uhh…” You rack your brain. How much do you make? “About $2,000ish?”
“And how often would you be able to meet me?”
You grin. “I can be all yours on the weekends.”
Luigi looks like he’s crunching some numbers in his head. You decide to crunch on a pancake while he works that out.
“What if we did $1,000 to meet each weekend?”
Jesus. Christ.
“$1,000?” you repeat.
“Yeah. $1,000.”
You consider it. If you’re meeting with him every weekend, for $1,000 each time…That’s $4,000 in an average month. On top of your regular salary. Much more than you typically make. More than your rent costs. More than living costs at your current rate, maybe, probably. It’s a good deal. It’s a damn good deal.
“That’s—” you stutter. “That’s a lot.”
He smiles, softly. “For you it is.”
Meaning…It’s not for him?
“Do you like the sound of that?” he asks.
Well, yeah. It’s money. Money always sounds good. But you can’t shake the feeling:
“Are you sure that’s…like…okay? With you?”
“I think it’s fair,” he says, nodding. “If you’re only making $2,000 a month, $1,000 each weekend should be enough to keep you on your feet.”
Not really what you were asking.
“But…” he continues.
But?
“We can wean off of that, eventually.”
Wean off. Like you’re a kitten on wet food.
“What do you mean?” you ask.
He takes a bite of his toast, then speaks:
“After a while, if you still like how this is going, we can start you on an allowance.” Luigi pops a berry into his mouth, leans back in his chair. “I’m thinking $4,000 a month, give or take. We can adjust that if you need.”
Oh? Oh. Oh, okay.
$4,000 a month. To fuck and go on dates with the sexiest thing on two legs you’ve ever looked at. To sacrifice (a word that is doing some serious heavy lifting) your weekends for dick and some good food. To be able to take care of yourself, for once—and not just that, but to have all the fancy things you dreamed of having as a girl: clothes, jewelry, books, shoes, cosmetics, stuff, just stuff to have. The kind of consumption only a lucky few are entitled to enjoy. And there are future implications, too: eventually, once you graduate, you’ll have some loans to pay off, perhaps another degree to pursue. A new car to drive. Your very own home to live in.
$4,000 a month. $1,000 per meet.
“I’m in,” you nod.
Luigi raises his eyebrows, smiles slightly. “You’re in?”
“Yeah. I like what you’re laying out.”
His smile is wider now, dimples defined in the creases of his face. “Okay. That’s all I want to hear.”
You shovel some eggs into your mouth and watch, completely unsubtle, as he adjusts his shirt on his shoulders, the veins lining his arms flexing.
Can’t you get to the sugar part now? You don’t even need a bed. You could find some space in your car, certainly.
“So,” he pipes up, “I think next we should lay down some ground rules.”
“Rules?” you iterate.
“Nothing crazy,” he assures you.
“Like…Boundaries.”
“Exactly!” With that Luigi finishes the last of his avocado toast. “I only have four.”
“Hit me,” you tell him.
He claps his hands together over his plate for effect.
“Okay. First off: be open with me. If you want something, ask for it. If you need something, tell me. Unfortunately, I can’t read your mind, so I appreciate bluntness.”
Bluntness. You can do that. Tending bar throughout your college years has taught you strength in that regard. Nodding, you down the rest of your OJ.
“I also need you to never be afraid of saying ‘no’ to me,” he says next. “Again, not a mind reader. Please let me know if you’re uncomfortable or unsatisfied or anything like that. This isn’t just for me—I would never want you to feel obligated to do something you don’t want to do anymore.”
“Sure,” you agree. “That’s easy for me.”
“Good.” He smiles warmly.
Third: “This can end any time you want. No questions asked. That goes for me, too, but I mean it mostly for you.”
What if you don’t want it to end?
“Okay,” you nod. “Any time?”
“Any time.”
You just hope he doesn’t change his mind about this whole thing.
“That being said, though…” he continues.
Oh?
Luigi extends his pointer finger outward as he continues. “I only ask that you be exclusive to me.”
Ah. This must be his fourth rule.
“Exclusive?”
He nods. “No dates, no one-night stands, no boyfriends or girlfriends. I want to be the sole provider in your life.”
So he’s a possessive type, too. You suppose it makes sense. Men don’t like to share their toys.
“Well,” you perk up, “am I going to be disappointed?”
The smug motherfucker smirks. “I don’t like to overstate my abilities, but I think you’ll be plenty satisfied.”
Plenty satisfied. You realize now that you don’t really need to fuck him to feel that way.
He adds: “I’m an earnest lover.”
Getting laid earnestly, every weekend, for $1,000. All to earn a whopping $4,000 a month, if he likes you enough.
You’ve done worse for less—and none of it involved a sexy Italian.
“I’ll need some proof,” you say, “but I think I’m down for that.”
“I’d be happy to prove it to you this weekend.”
Well, that was fast.
You quirk a brow. “Yeah?”
And then he leans in close to you, speaking barely above a whisper: “If you can be good, that is.”
Oh. Oh.
He’s doing this. He’s doing this at noon on a Saturday, in public. At brunch.
You graze your foot over his from under the table, gliding up, inching into his pant leg. Teasing. “If I’m good, what’s in store for me?”
Luigi smirks as the waitress makes her way toward your seat with the check—for him to pay, of course. “I’ll text you the details. Sound good to you?”
You smile back. “Yeah. Sounds good.”
He decides to walk you to your car, standing close, but not too close for comfort. There is an easy space between the two of you as you make your way to the parking lot on Sanchez Street, right behind the Wooden Spoon.
“I didn’t get to ask,” he perks up. “Do you have any rules?”
You certainly didn’t prepare any.
“Umm…” you trail off, giggling. “I didn’t make a list or anything.”
“You don’t need a list,” he says, smiling back at you. “Are there any boundaries you want to set?”
There are some obvious, more sugar related things you want cemented: condoms every date, no reverse cowgirl, probably no nudes, for the time being. But right now you’re just happy to be seen beside such a handsome man. All of the “nitty gritty”, in his words, can wait until later.
“I can’t think of anything,” you answer. “Just that I want respect and…Well, compensation.”
Luigi winks. “You’ll get that. Promise.”
You reach your car and pause, turn on your heels to face him.
His hands are in his pockets, curls rustling in the early spring wind. “So…”
“So?”
“This weekend, right?” he asks. “I’ll hit you up, probably Friday.”
“Okay,” you agree. “This weekend.”
Then, he asks: “Do you have any rules against kissing?”
You grin and blush like a little girl. “Nope. Definitely not.”
So he steps close, lingering just slightly as his hands meet your hips—and then he kisses you, sweetly and smoothly. You pull him ever closer to you by the chain on his neck and sigh against his mouth. He tastes like Earl Grey.
When he pulls away he flashes you a warm smile.
“I think I’m gonna have to build a time machine,” he says, “so I can skip ahead to this weekend.”
You laugh. “Good luck with that.”
Luigi doesn’t get that time machine built, but the weekend comes faster than you expect.
The first text you receive on Friday is quite surprising:
Luigi : Can I get ur address so my driver knows where to pick you up?
Driver? He’s sending a fucking chauffeur for you?
The next two texts he sends you once he has what he needs are straightforward:
Luigi : OK She’ll be there like 8:30 so be ready for her
Also we’ll be in a hotel after so maybe bring anything else you’ll need for tn
At that you put together a quick overnight bag: a change of comfy clothes and an outfit for the day after, toothbrush and toothpaste, comb, a pack of wet wipes, some hair ties. Some courage you definitely don’t have—not right now, at least.
You’re nervous.
But you’re not going to think about that, because you’ve got a date to get ready for. You’ve got a dress to put on—the very dress you met him in—makeup to do and dinner to eat…And, of course, dick to take. Luigi didn’t really give you pointers on how to look, so you pick your accessories carefully, settling for a plain silver necklace and some studs to match. Your shoes are simple: black heels, with a glossy finish that you’ve managed to not scuff up somehow.
You glance at the clock on your nightstand. 8:19. When he said 8:30, did he mean on the dot? Doesn’t matter—every second counts. You feed Butters and fill his water bowl; take a shot of Grey Goose for encouragement; unpack your overnight bag to brush your teeth twice, then pack it again. If you were a smoker you’d need a cig right about now.
And then, at 8:27, your phone buzzes:
Luigi : She’s there
Grey Mitsubishi
No backing out now.
Sure enough, a grey Mitsubishi Lancer sits parked on Cyril Magnin Street just outside your window. With your bag slung over your shoulder you make your way down to the lobby, heart pounding behind your ribcage.
The driver of this Lancer, as you soon find out, is…
“Cheyenne,” she says, extending a hand to you. Her fingers are decorated with rings of all shapes and colors, including a few with gemstones cemented in their center. She is cold to the touch, but her smile is inviting, dark, black-lined eyes staring into every layer of your aura.
As she turns the key in the ignition, you clear your throat.
“How do you know Luigi?” you ask.
At that moment, “Dance, Dance” by Fall Out Boy blasts from her speakers at 75% volume. You immediately wince at the loud assault to your eardrums.
“Shit, shit! Sorry! I’m so sorry!”
Her fingers are fumbling with the dial instantly. “Bad habit, I know, I’m so sorry—”
You laugh, heart still pounding. “I’m fine. Just startled me. I like your taste.”
Cheyenne begins to pull off onto the street with an uncertain smile.
“So, how do you know Luigi?” you try again.
“Oh, college,” she says. “We used to shoot the shit in Calculus II.”
“Was he any good?” you ask. “At calculus?”
“Luigi is good at just about everything,” Cheyenne says. “Well, except talking to girls. I’m still not sure how he bagged you.”
You snort. “He seemed like he knew what he was doing.”
“Trust me, he didn’t.” You pass by the Panda Express that saves you from cooking dinner most nights as Cheyenne makes her way towards…Wherever you’re going. “He called me and crashed out over the phone the night he met you. He cried because, and I quote, ‘she’s so fine it makes me sick to my stomach.’ I think he was drunk.”
The image of that is quite precious, indeed. You giggle. “That’s sweet.”
“Sweet as pie,” she agrees. “He’s got integrity. Very driven. I’m not just saying it. I’ve seen that dude help blackout drunk girls to their dorms because some guys were creeping on them.”
He certainly doesn’t fit your usual stereotype of “privileged white frat rat from the suburbs”, doesn’t give off a fuckboy vibe that you’ve been able to pick up on. No cocky posturing. No fake interest. Luigi is different. Laid back. Responsible. Tender hearted.
“And,” Cheyenne adds, “he was my wingman for a good while.”
“Wingman?”
“He helped me sneak into parties so I could get with sorority girls,” she clarifies. “I wouldn’t have met my girlfriend if it weren’t for him.”
How gallant. Luigi Mangione: Friend to Lesbians. “Ah. I see.”
Now you can see why Cheyenne seems to be so comfortable with Luigi; their bond is clearly interwoven with the safety he’s provided her throughout their friendship, likely a stark contrast to her Ivy League atmosphere. He’s probably the only male friend she’s ever had that’s never pitched the “I like someone and you know her very well” conversation—you’re still waiting to meet that unicorn.
“What do you do?” Cheyenne asks.
You assume she means job-wise. “I bartend at Cityscape, but I’m in school full-time.”
“Oh, nice!” she says, nodding. “Where at?”
As she turns onto Fifth Street, you tell her—your university, your major, how your classes are going, all the rage around campus. Cheyenne listens intently, drumming her painted nails against the steering wheel in time with the radio. By the time you’re finished complaining about the difficulties of your required second language credit, the two of you are making your way down Harrison.
“What about you?” you ask. “You look like you do something really badass. Like archery, or witchcraft.”
“I wish!” she laughs. “I’m a marine biologist. Right now I’m at the Monterey Bay Aquarium.”
“Oh, nice! You live down there?”
Cheyenne scratches her neck. “Sort of. I’m a bit of a couch hopper. Rent is brutal in Cali, so I jump between my friends’ places.”
You shrug in understanding. “Totally get it. I almost ended up on a boat with some of my dorm mates before I found my place.”
She snorts at that. Cute. You like Luigi’s friend.
The rest of the ride goes smoothly; Cheyenne’s Lancer speeds down the 280 as you overlook San Francisco, its heaving waters and cloudy skies. Occasionally she asks if you’d like to pick a song, but you decide you’re quite alright with her aux control, so you decline and leave it up to her. When she makes a sharp turn onto 25th Street, you start to understand where this might be going—perhaps Luigi knows a nice place right by the Bay.
Your destination is either what looks to be an apartment complex or a storied building squished next to it. Cheyenne directs you to the spot on the left, the taller of the two.
“He should be waiting for you up at the very top,” she explains before you get out of the car. “There’s an elevator to your right once you walk in. If you press 13 it should take you to the roof.”
The roof? Okay. This is weird.
You thank Cheyenne and carefully make your way inside, surveying the lobby. You realize now that this is somewhat of an office space, with several businesses leasing a spot in the building; you find a directory hanging on the wall by the elevator Cheyenne mentioned. On the thirteenth floor is something called “Ive’s”, and it is indeed at the very top. You step inside the elevator and observe the clock built in above the rows of buttons; its face reads 8:01. Nobody set this one back for Daylight Savings.
The building must be old, what with how the elevator rattles as it ascends to the thirteenth floor, and you thoroughly do not expect what’s waiting in front of you: the doors open to a beautiful rooftop terrace, with moody lights strung over tables and a perfect overlook of the Bay as a backdrop. And waiting by the bar is Luigi, hands clasped in front of his pelvis, standing tall and clearly alert. His eyes widen when he spots you emerging from the elevator.
“You made it!” he exclaims. “I was worried Cheyenne might confuse you.”
“Nah, I got here fine,” you say, smiling. “It’s good to see you.”
He leans in for a hug that you gladly return, whispering into your ear, “that it is.”
Luigi’s embrace is the warmest you’ve ever felt. It’s like walking into a heated pool; your body recalibrates in response to his touch, thoroughly lit alive by the mere presence of this man and his gentle ways. He holds you still for quite a while, maybe a minute, and when he pulls back his smile is bright and dimpled, only sweetened by his blush. You take the chance to look over his suit; he dons a paisley-print purple tie and a jacket with blue suede lining the inside. Prim with just a hint of fun. You would not have expected paisley.
“Shall we?” he says, offering a hand.
With your fingers interlaced, he leads you to a table at the far edge of the rooftop, and you start to realize now that, as a matter of fact, none of these tables are occupied—nor are they set, aside from the one he’s currently guiding you toward. There isn’t a single soul at Ive’s besides you and Luigi.
“What is this place?” you ask.
He grins. “It’s called Ive’s, if that’s what you’re asking, but if you want to know what’s up…”
At that Luigi moves to pull out your chair for you. “I’m tight with the owner,” he continues as you take your seat. “I got him to clear out the place just for tonight, so we could have somewhere all to ourselves.”
He’s nothing if not a pro at blowing you away. Your guilt at even accepting his generosity flows at full force, stunning you where you sit as Luigi settles down opposite you.
“You did all of this for me?” you ask.
He shrugs flippantly, still smiling. “Ive owed me a favor.”
From…somewhere, your host for the night emerges, holding two menus and cheesing at the both of you from under a thick handlebar mustache. The first order of business:
“What are you folks drinking tonight?”
The cocktail menu excites you—lots of vodka and gin, and there’s an entire section dedicated to rosé—but after some deliberation with the waiter, you decide on a Rooftop Mojito as a fitting welcome to your date. Luigi is not a complicated drinker, because he orders the same exact thing he ordered at Red Velvet: banana daiquiri with a slice of lime. The host prances off and leaves the two of you alone.
“Sooo,” you perk up, “you said you do data stuff for TrueCar, right?”
He winces. “If we’re going to talk about me, let’s not make it about my job. I promise it’s really boring. Last thing I want to do is make this date a snoozefest.”
You scoff. “I don’t think you could manage that.”
“What, boring you? I’ll bet I could.”
With a shake of your head, you say, “not when you look like you were blessed by Venus at birth.”
Luigi chuckles at that, nose flushing rosy pink. “Well, that’s flattering. I think you’re a more apt example of that description, though.”
“Just accept the compliment,” you chide playfully. “What if I have other questions that aren’t about your job?”
“Hit me.”
Well, shit. Maybe you should’ve made a list.
“How old are you?” you settle on eventually. Not a bad inquiry, you think. He’s quite young for a sugar daddy.
“Twenty six,” he answers. “Twenty seven in May.”
A Taurus. You consider it: loyal. Stubborn. Diligent. Possessive. Truly a toss-up—any of these qualities could spell both good and bad news for you. One thing you know for sure is that Luigi’s greatest strength is one quite common for Taurus men—he is entirely irresistible.
“And you’re from San Francisco, right?” you ask.
He shakes his head. “Maryland. Baltimore.”
He really looks more Italian than anything.
“County,” he adds. “Not the city.”
There’s a Baltimore county?
“I see,” you nod. “I’m assuming Baltimore-the-county has a much different environment than Baltimore-the-city.”
“Very different,” he confirms. “What about you? Are you from San Francisco?”
“Nope,” you answer. “I moved here for college.”
That sparks a quick conversation about your home state and whether or not Luigi’s visited. As you wrap up a memorable story about the corner store you frequented in your childhood, your waiter returns to the table with your drinks, quickly retrieving his notepad and pen from his pocket.
If cocktails were hard, the food is even harder to choose from. The entire list of appetizers sounds pretty good to you, and you could go for at least three of the sandwiches—but alas, you narrow down your options to the tomato soup with a grilled cheese and a Caesar salad on the side. Meat-Free Luigi goes with the veggie poke bowl and some French onion dip with house-made chips, even though he looks like he could absolutely kill some chicken wings. Whatever.
Sipping from your mojito, you ask, “so, no TrueCar talk—what do you do outside of that?”
“A lot of reading,” he says. You could’ve guessed that. “And I like to stay active.”
Yeah, no shit. With shoulders like that?
Luigi likes Bertrand Russell and going on hikes and he can solve a Rubik’s cube in under a minute, which isn’t hard to imagine, what with those long, dexterous fingers. He wants to see every continent on the planet at least once. You ask him if he likes traveling solo or with friends and he tells you he makes do with both. His face lights up like never before as he describes a drunk night of catching crabs in Cabo San Lucas. You ask him to tell you his favorite destination he’s ever been to, and he says, “right here, with you.”
He’s perfect. There is truly no better word for it.
As the two of you wait for the food to come you jump from topic to topic: favorite movies, the best music for a long drive, politics, least favorite movies. The backdrop of the San Francisco Bay mellows the mood, with the waves chopping and seagulls wailing in the far distance, the moonlight shining bright against the water. You both down your drinks within twenty minutes and you eventually move on to the basket of bread rolls at the center of the table, paying no mind to the passage of time; it’s simply you and him by the Bay, with a romantic scene and some good liquor to keep you busy as the cooks work their magic.
“What made you want to spend your money on this?” you ask over a nibble of bread.
He tilts his head quizzically. “Dinner with you?”
Swallowing, you clarify, “the sugar thing.”
Apparently Luigi needs a moment to ponder that one. He rests his chin on his fists and looks up to the darkened sky as if to signify to you that he’s thinking.
“Sometimes I get in my head about not doing something more productive with my money,” he says. “There isn’t enough for people who need more. The best I can do is pitch in when the opportunity presents itself.”
“So…” You chew another piece of buttery bread roll. “It’s like charity.”
He grimaces. “That just makes it sound twisted.”
“I’m fucking with you,” you say, smiling.
You feel his foot nudge yours under the table.
“It’s rude to fuck with your date,” he quips, smiling bashfully.
“Is it?” you retort. “What are our plans for tonight, then?”
With that he leans forward, extends one of those long arms across the table and grabs your chin, gentle but firm. Looks into your eyes.
“Don’t make me hard at dinner,” he murmurs lowly. “That’s rude.”
Wow. Wow. This man is truly the peak of duplexity.
As Luigi settles back into his chair, leaving you blushing and achy between your thighs, the host and his magnificent mustache return with your food.
And oh, man. Luigi told you that Ive’s is a family owned restaurant, one that truly values its customers—and the mouth-watering smell only serves to prove that. Rickety elevator and somewhat hidden location be damned; Ive’s is a fucking Ritz-Carlton compared to what any fine dining establishment could ever provide. The portions are hearty and, with how long they took to prepare, your chefs of the night have clearly gone out of their way to make the best possible dish for you and your date. You feel like Gordon Ramsey with your mental commentary: the grilled cheese is stunning, with sharp cheddar and fuckin’ muenster—the most underrated cheese, in your book—stacked between crispy, pillowy artisan bread, toasted to perfection. And dunked in the tomato soup? A glorious pair. You even taste hints of cream and basil among the natural sweetness. It’s rich, flavorful, and, most importantly, delicious.
Halfway through your Caesar salad, Luigi poses a question for you:
“What about you?”
You pause, mull over it through a bite of lettuce and croutons. “What about me?”
“What brought you here? With me?” he elaborates.
Desperation? Envy? Loneliness? It could be all three, if you’re being completely honest with yourself. The truest answer, though, is quite simple:
“I didn’t have much growing up,” you start. “I’ve always been hand-in-hand with the poverty line, pretty much since the day I was born, and it’s only through scholarships and awards I worked my ass off for that I’m able to go to school in the city.”
You remember: nights spent breaking yourself apart for a steady GPA and perfect attendance, typing away and rubbing at the tension held under your pulsing temples. College in America is a bit like gambling—place your bet, and if you play your cards just right, it’s easy to get lucky. The problem is that some people are dealt a shit hand, and nobody is giving away their cards for free.
“I never got gifted with generational wealth or blessings from my bougie ancestors,” you continue, tossing your salad back-and-forth with your fork. “I never got the chance to do things I dreamed of doing as a girl. My parents struggled for as long as I can remember—and I guess, after a while, you get pretty tired of it. You start to want safer ground to land your feet on.”
Luigi nods, listening closely.
“I guess it just felt like the best option, the most doable,” you say. “I realized once I made it to college that I couldn’t take care of myself on my own. And I felt like, after all I’d done to even afford my tuition, I could really use not just the extra help, but…Everything else that comes with it. Stability. Comfort. You know?”
He smiles softly. “Everyone deserves nice things.”
A seagull whines in the distant Bay. The air smells like sea salt and sweet, sweet magnetism.
You twist the handle of your fork uncertainly. “Do you think I deserve it?”
“You deserve someone who wants to put in the work,” he answers, cupping his warm hands over yours.
“Have I found him?” you ask.
Leaning forward, he plants a kiss on the back of your hand. “I’d say so.”
Grinning, you suggest, “I think we should get the bill.”
Luigi raises a brow playfully. “No dessert?”
You shake your head. “I don’t need it. Not tonight.”
Cheyenne and her Lancer await outside of Ive’s, still carrying your bag in the backseat. When you and Luigi approach, you can hear My Chemical Romance blasting even through her rolled-up windows. She startles when she first sees the both of you, then settles and smiles shyly, tinkering with the volume dial for what must be the gazillionth time tonight.
“Hey, kids,” she greets as you file into her car. “How was dinner?”
“I really wish you wouldn’t make me feel like the troubled son of a middle-aged mother going through a divorce,” Luigi jokes with a sigh, buckling his seatbelt. He turns to you and winks.
Cheyenne whips around, eyes wide and brows furrowed. “Divorced? Middle-aged? Fuuuuuck you. We’re the same age, dick.”
“Physically,” Luigi says.
“If you didn’t have a lady with you I’d make you walk,” she barks, pulling back the gearshift. “You didn’t switch hotels on me, right?”
“Nope,” he answers, popping the p.
The hotel in question is just a few miles past Mission Bay, exactly a twelve minute drive from Ive’s. The Palace is an elegant, almost industrial building smashed between parking garages that, from the looks of the entrance, seems to be hiding a ravishing interior. Luigi opens your door for you and helps you out of the car, hand gently grasping yours.
He offers a two finger salute with his free hand, standing tall. “Thanks, Chey. I really appreciate it.”
Cheyenne mirrors him. “Don’t mention it. Nice meeting you,” she says, gesturing toward where you stand next to Luigi.
You nod, smiling brightly and waving goodbye. “Thanks again!”
Luigi waits and watches to make sure that Cheyenne pulls off safely before he’s guiding you to the massive front doors of The Palace, past the lobby, through the high-ceiling hallways toward the elevator. It’s like something from a Wes Anderson film. When the fanciest you’ve seen is your local Hampton Inn, something like this is truly breathtaking. Your heels click against the marble of the floor as you walk with Luigi, stunned by each new chandelier you count on the ceiling. The two of you pass patrons sat in the common area, sipping from glasses of champagne or mugs of coffee and chatting amongst themselves—you imagine about fucking over the poor and hungry. What else do the horrifically rich discuss?
But god, they have taste.
“This place is gorgeous,” you murmur to him as the two of you wait for the elevator to reach the ground floor. “Have you stayed here before?”
“Just once,” he says, still holding your hand. “You like it?”
“I do.”
He smirks. Squeezes your fingers lightly. “You haven’t even seen our room yet.”
And, much to your awe, he was right—it’s not just a room, it’s a suite. Luigi stands by and watches with subtle pride as you tour your surroundings: king bed, beautiful view of outside The Palace, separate lounge area with a variety of seating options, and a bathroom fit for a Victoria’s Secret model. There are even two white bathrobes hanging on the wall opposite the gigantic mirror. They gave you robes! You want to fall to your knees and cry with joy. You emerge from the bathroom and, to Luigi’s surprise, immediately tackle him in a hug, nearly tripping over your own feet.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” you chime, swaying him back-and-forth. “I’m so happy I could die.”
“Don’t die,” he chuckles, smoothing his hand over your lower back. “I’m happy you’re happy.”
You squeal with joy when he presses a sloppy kiss to your cheek and slowly lets you go.
“Oh,” he continues, reaching up to swipe something from the top of the dresser you’re stood next to. “And this is for you.”
Luigi hands you a plain white envelope, scrawled with your name. Cute. You can only imagine what must be inside. Carefully, you tear open the seal and pull out…
A Hallmark card. In curly font, the front reads, “If EVERYBODY had a NIECE as terrific as YOU, it wouldn’t be any BIG DEAL.” When you open it, the inside loudly remarks, “BUT THEY DON’T, SO IT IS! Hope your birthday is as terrific as YOU!”
The money is inside. Obviously.
You try not to shriek with laughter.
“I felt like it would be rude to just give you an envelope with money, but I didn’t really know what to do with the card…?” he interjects, as if he’s trying to defend himself.
“The card is a nice touch,” you agree, failing to bite back your smile. “Are we roleplaying or something?”
He cringes in anguish. “Jesus. I’m an uncle already. I don’t need to roleplay.”
As you giggle, your thumb brushes over the cash.
“You can count it, if you want,” he adds.
It feels a little callous, but you do, since he seems unbothered. There’s a $100 bill, then another, then another—ten in total. $1,000. In cash. All yours. And it’s real.
This is real. Really happening. Real money, real man, real room. Suite. Goddamn.
“Okay,” you breathe, nodding. The bills are spread out in your hands, a sight you’d only ever dreamed of before. “Okay.”
Carefully, you stuff the cash back into the card neatly, tucking it back inside of the envelope to put in your bag, which you leave next to Luigi’s by the dresser.
“All good?” he asks.
You smirk coyly. “All good.”
“Do you mind if I kiss you now?”
You have to swallow your giggle—Luigi is almost polite to a fault, so much so that it feels silly to maintain it when he’s about to fuck you (and when he’s paying you for it, no less). So you decide to answer his question directly, physically, threading your fingers in his curls and bringing your lips to his, slow and smooth. He grunts in surprise but is quick to return the kiss; his hands caress your upper back, thumb toying at the zipper of your dress and then sliding lower, gripping your hips. The way his mouth moves against yours is leisurely but intentioned, deliberate, confident. He is certainly not new to this.
“Luigi,” you breathe against his lips, and you try to steal another kiss, but he pulls away.
He tuts, a little tsk tsk. “Is that what you call me?”
Oh. Oh. Right. He never laid his cards out on the table that clearly, but you suppose it makes sense for this to be part of your arrangement.
“Sorry, Daddy,” you murmur, face burning.
You’re certainly not mad about it. You could get used to this.
“That’s better,” Luigi whispers. “That’s much better.”
He kisses you again, harder this time. Now his hands are on your ass, alternating between groping you with greed and gliding back up to your hips; when his tongue grazes yours you let your mouth fall open for him, head lolling, and he brings up one hand to tangle his fingers in your hair and keep your lips connected to his. Having your hands in his curls after countless nights of fantasizing feels almost surreal—this whole situation just feels like the porno of your dreams playing out in front of you, right down to the exquisite location, the gorgeous man, and the events leading up to now. Having sex with other guys your age has never felt like this before.
When your calves hit the small sofa in front of the bed you decide to sit down, pulling Luigi closer to you by his paisley tie so as to not lose his kisses. He leans over you, big hands sliding up your thighs, past the hem of your dress, feeling the warmth of the flesh on your hips beneath his palms—you realize then that there are quite a few pillows in your way, and so you push them off. Luigi huffs a laugh.
His mouth moves down, over your throat, mesmerizing you effortlessly. And his hands move up, slowly but surely, tracing the outline of your body in your dress, admiring the way the green satin hugs your curves; this particular shade makes your skin tone shine, he thinks.
“I do really love this dress,” he says into your cleavage, pressing absentminded kisses here and there. “Looks so pretty on you.”
Further he goes. Cupping your breasts, feeling around. Gliding north, to your back. A palm drifts up. Fingers dance over your zipper.
“Can I take it off?” he asks, soft against your ear.
You nod. His face sinks in disapproval.
Seizing your chin between his thumb and fingers, he chides, “answer me when I ask you a question.”
“Yes, yes,” you insist. “Yes, Daddy, I’m sorry.”
Luigi grins. “That’s okay, sweet girl,” he whispers, kissing your jaw. “You’ll get the hang of it.”
His lithe fingers begin to work your zipper down, down, down, the sound of it echoing in your ears, until you can feel silver resting against your coccyx. Then he helps you slip each strap off of your shoulders, peeling the dress down your torso and your hips, and you laugh lightly when he guides you backward to tug it down your legs. With your heels still on the movement is a bit clunky, but Luigi pays the hiccups no mind. Cheyenne was quite serious about him being driven.
You’re wearing a plain pink set—not very extravagant, but still the most elegant you own. There are frilly edges and a little bow on the front of the panties, girlish and angelic details. You hope he won’t be disappointed in your lack of fancy lingerie. Perhaps some of the cash he’s paid you could go towards something nicer, more intricate—an investment for him, a treat for you.
His hands scan over your body, admiring, beholding.
“What a pretty sight,” he purrs, face flaunting a Cheshire Cat-esque smile. “Did you wear this just for me?”
You shrug, grinning, flushing madly. “It’s the best I’ve got.”
“It’s perfect,” Luigi says. “Absolutely perfect. You look radiant.”
“Thank you, Daddy,” you mutter.
And then he steps back, gets onto his feet, hands moving upward.
“Why don’t you take that off for me?” he asks. Then there’s that killer smile. “Not that I don’t love it on you. Just makes my job a bit easier.”
You grin.
As he starts to undo his tie you reach behind yourself to open the clasp of your bra, heart pounding as your chest is slowly revealed to him. Luigi is learning that you follow orders well. You move with leisure so as to even the playing field; by the time he’s wearing only his slacks, belt, and black crew socks, you’re working your panties down your thighs, arching your curves every which way to put on a show for him. You sigh at the sound of metal clinking, fabric shuffling.
When your hands reach for the strap of your left heel, he stops you:
“Leave those on,” Luigi commands.
You smirk, enlightened. “You got a thing for girls in high heels?”
“I’ve got a thing for you, pretty lady.”
As he pulls his trousers down to reveal tight black briefs and an impressive imprint he steps closer. You look up toward him expectantly, batting your eyelashes.
“You know what to do, don’t you?” he coos, stroking your hair.
Normally you’re not the biggest fan of this—but you feel graced by god himself to have been given this specific opportunity. So you peel down the edges of his boxers until his cock is springing free, balls heavy and tip leaking, and Luigi blesses you with a delicious groan when you wrap a hand around his shaft and begin to pump him in your tight fist. You almost need both your hands just to stroke him off. It’s ridiculous. He sucks in a breath above you, sharp and rushed, eyes fluttering shut and lips pressed together.
And then you stick out your tongue and lick a slow stripe all the way up the length of his cock, ending with a pronunciated gesture against his frenulum. Luigi balls your hair into a fist; the defined muscles of his stomach are pulled taut, and you glide a hand up through the thick thatch of hair on his pelvis, up further, over his faint happy trail, and when you feel his belly flexing under your palm you moan against him. Your mouth comes to wrap around the first few inches of him, lips sucked in and cheeks hollowed. Two big, warm hands cup your face.
“My god, you’re beautiful,” Luigi breathes. His thumb traces the outline of your cheekbone, tucking stray hair behind your ear. “Has anyone ever told you how good you look with your mouth full?”
You moan around his cock, pull off of him momentarily to answer: “Only you.”
“Could be a pornstar with that fuckin’ body,” he groans—his hands apply the slightest pressure to your head as you take him again. “Fuck, you’d have ‘em lined up for miles, just waiting for a chance.”
His dick begins to press into your throat and you accept him happily. As you set the pace, bobbing your head up and down, Luigi angles his hips forward, and you subdue your gag reflex by digging your fingernails into his thighs.
He compresses his lips again, draws in a deep breath when you take him to the hilt. “But you’re smarter than that, aren’t you?”
The feminist in you wants to lecture him about the complexities of women in sex work, but you figure that’d be a bit of a turn off. And besides, when you tongue at his balls with his cock still lodged down your throat he makes a heavenly sound, something straight out of your wet dreams, something deep and rocky but still so vulnerable. You love it. You need more of that yesterday.
Luigi swears under his breath as you pull off of him, switching to licking around the fat head of his cock and stroking the length untouched by your tongue. The pre beading at his slit tastes sweet, sort of pungent, but not at all unpleasant—you assume you’ve got his diet to thank for that. He groans and shivers and goosebumps rise on his tan skin, prickling underneath your palms. You wrap your lips around the tip of his length, forming a tight suction—as you suck him your hand continues a steady back-and-forth over his dick, your spit creating an effortless glide.
And then you start twisting, as gently as possible, and every bone in his body melts inside of him.
“Oh, fuck,” he grunts, head thrown back. You can see sweat glistening on the column of his throat. “That’s a good girl. That’s a good fucking girl.”
You try to replicate the same feeling on his cockhead with your hand as you move to his balls, sucking each into your mouth, swirling your tongue, all while your beaming eyes stare up at him.
“Such a princess,” he murmurs. “Who taught you how to suck dick like this?”
You flash him a toothy grin. “You jealous?”
He moans loud when you guide your flat, wet tongue over his tip again, paying extra attention to the underside of his cock, the thin vein stretching down the length of it. Your fist continues its ministrations on his shaft all the while; stroking, twisting, squeezing, much to the delight of Luigi. As you lick your mouth moves lower, taking inch by inch, tongue still swirling to the best of your abilities—and even when it fails to circle his girth you sweep it side-to-side against his dick, your jaw slowly accepting the intrusion.
With his cock in your throat again you repeat the swaying of your head, bobbing slowly at first and picking up the pace as his sounds intensify. You hope to god that the walls of The Palace aren’t remarkably thin—the wet noises of your mouth moving are ringing loud in your ears, only bested by Luigi’s groans and whines above you. His hips start to meet your movements, thrusting up just slightly, and when you accidentally gag on his dick he moans loud. He fists your hair and growls, your nose buried in his bush, coconut and sandalwood filling your senses.
“Oh, Christ, yes,” he mumbles. “All of it, baby, take all of it…”
You drag your lips up his length and bring your hand back to work, tugging and twisting like before as your mouth works his cockhead. Only for a moment, though, because Luigi quickly guides you further down, until his heavy dick is fully seated on your tongue, probing your throat again. Your hand finds his balls instead, squeezing softly—you can feel them drawing up in your palm.
He sighs deeply, exhilarated. “Gonna make Daddy come in this pretty little mouth, sweetheart.”
You’ve never tasted a vegetarian’s sperm before. There’s a first time for everything, truly.
With a few more pumps of your head and some added action with your tongue Luigi is gasping and coming in your mouth, hips bucking with fervor. You don’t plan on swallowing, initially, but he tastes quite nice compared to other guys you’ve had—so before you pull off of him you gulp him down without much thought, making a show of opening your mouth to display its relative emptiness.
Luigi leans down slightly to kiss you. Unexpected, considering the circumstances—re: his jizz in your mouth about five seconds ago—but you’re not complaining. And you realize then that Luigi was hiding something under his suit: he’s wearing the chain, the very same one you’ve been daydreaming about seeing against his perfect olive skin again. Somehow you hadn’t noticed it earlier. You can’t help but tug on it as his mouth moves with yours.
“How’d you know I love this?” you ask against his lips, smiling.
He pecks the corner of your mouth. Shrugs. “You were grabbing at it the first time I kissed you. You’re not very subtle.”
You run your finger along the rough edges of the necklace as you lick inside his mouth; but eventually it becomes difficult to resist his gorgeous curls, so your hands trail, scratching at his scalp and tugging the hairs at the nape of his neck.
Then he kneels. You offer a curious whine.
“It would be rude of me to not return the favor, princess,” Luigi says, spreading your thighs apart and guiding your legs over his broad shoulders.
Wow.
Long fingers brush against your cunt. He’s spreading something else, too, exploring and relishing in how reactive you are to his touch.
“Oh, my,” he murmurs. “You’re so wet. Were you having fun, baby?”
The whine that leaves you is apalling. “Yes, Daddy.”
“That’s what I like to hear.” He plants a kiss to the back of your knee, glides further, down your thigh. “You’re such a gift. I’m a lucky, lucky man.”
Two of his fingers part your lips so that all of you is exposed to him. He begins with one flat lick from hole to clit, grinding the tip of his tongue against your fluttering cunt and sweeping it side-to-side. You cry out. It’s been a long time since you found a guy this enthusiastic about eating pussy, and you’re starting to feel immensely glad that Luigi isn’t showcasing himself online—any girl could have this, and because of one chance night, you are the one that gets to indulge in his greedy mouth. Before the insecurity can come flooding back to you he sucks your clit between his lips, slowly pulling away with a resounding pop.
“Fuck,” he whispers. “You’re really spoiling me, sweetheart.”
You’re spoiling him? Yeah. Because that makes sense.
Nothing needs to make sense, though; not when he licks up the length of your pussy again, steadying your body by wrapping his other hand around your thigh, and good god, the span of his fingers nearly covers the entire width. You could probably come just from looking at that. First his tongue circles the hood of your clit, just barely avoiding where you want him the most, and then he moves to teasing you with the pointed tip of it, flicking back and forth. It’s heaven. You’ve never had a man pay this kind of attention to your satisfaction, and you love that Luigi seems to be quite avid about your enjoyment of his efforts—every so often he’ll groan with hunger into your cunt, squeezing your supple thighs.
“Oh—” you whine, hips stuttering. “Oh, fuck, Luigi…”
And then he stops. You make a sound that can only be described as a shrill grunt, raising your head to peek at him between your legs. Luigi’s brows are set straight, eyes unamused.
Oh. Right.
“Daddy,” you plead. “I’m sorry. Please don’t stop.”
His wicked smile returns, then, and he gives your thigh a careful smack. “Atta girl.”
That perfect tongue returns, sliding up through your slick and lingering at your hole, pressing in just slightly. Your cunt is open entirely to him and he can reach every crevice of you, swirling and parting your folds, curling up to collect your arousal as it seeps from you. You’re starting to think that Luigi may not even have to pay you in cash from now on—he can simply compensate with this eager mouth of his. For a moment he takes your clit between his lips and sucks hard again, creating a pulsing sensation with the suction of his mouth that has your thighs trembling and forces sounds from you that would frankly terrify you in any other context.
When he pulls away, he murmurs, “you have the most perfect pussy, baby. Could taste you all day.”
Then he’s diving back in, hardly giving you any room to breathe—it’s just a never ending barrage of all the magic that his mouth can do, his dirty talk and the skillful work of his tongue. This time around he tenses that talented appendage and slots it inside of you, withdraws, and licks up the length of your slit, then repeats the gesture a second time, and then a third—and by the fourth time the tips of his fingers are teasing your entrance, silently asking for permission to explore.
“Please,” you whine, bucking your hips.
So Luigi licks up and collects your clit in his mouth, sucking as he eases his middle finger into your cunt. He hardly gives you time to adjust before he’s curling it, working that spongy spot inside of you with precision, and you cry out, squirming under his intensive ministrations. All the while his lips squeeze your firm clit, almost massaging it, his tongue making a special appearance every so often to stroke the sides of you.
“Fuck,” you sob. “More, please, more.”
He slides a second finger inside of you. Then a third. What really makes it special is the fact that the stretch of his fingers can’t possibly compare to his dick.
By now the build-up of your orgasm has begun to peak, coiling like hot wires in your stomach; you’re squirming ceaselessly on the couch, jittering all over, your fingers buried in Luigi’s thick curls as his fingers work inside of you. His other hand snakes around your thighs and presses against your abdomen, pinning you down so as to minimize your movements. Your thighs shoot up and frame his head, locking him in.
“I’m coming,” you warn, “I’m gonna come.”
Momentarily his mouth leaves your pussy to groan, “you’re doing so good, princess. Show Daddy how you come for him.”
And when his lips return to your clit, a deep hum vibrating in his throat and through your body, you’re coming hard on his face, gripping his hair roughly and rocking your hips against his mouth. Luigi returns your satisfaction tenfold; he moans and smiles against your cunt as he guides you through your climax, whispering fluff to you that you don’t quite comprehend through the rush.
“Such a good girl, sweetheart,” he’s saying when you come to, the ceiling almost spinning before your eyes.
You lean up on your elbows and offer a dazed grin. “Thank you, Daddy.”
“Don’t mention it,” he says, meeting your lips in a deep kiss. “It’s a treasure to get my mouth on you, sweet girl. I’ve been dreaming of it.”
His tongue tastes like your cunt. You moan into his mouth as you suck on it, fisting his tight curls in your hand.
“Would you mind terribly if I fucked you now?” Luigi asks when he pulls away, still smiling sweetly.
You kiss him again. “I wouldn’t mind that at all.”
At that he stands to retrieve a condom from his wallet, dick swinging shamelessly as he moves. Christ. You’re no better than a man.
He catches you staring, notices your bottom lip trapped between your teeth. “Like what you see?”
Flushing, you giggle. “I’m sorry. It’s kinda hard not to.”
Tearing open the packet, he orders with a smile: “Turn around and bend over on the bed.”
You’re obeying before the words are even out of his mouth. You sink your knees into the soft cushion of the sofa as you lean down onto the bed in front of you, back arched. Your soft ass and your sticky pussy are in perfect view for him, and he whistles lowly as you feel him approaching from behind.
“Look at that,” he remarks, spreading you with the same hands that can solve a Rubik’s cube in under a minute. “Fucking dripping wet. And all for me.”
He drags a fingertip through your slick, which is soon replaced by the head of his cock, swiping back-and-forth against your clit. You shudder at the smooth motion of it, at the way his hands knead your asscheeks.
“So gorgeous,” Luigi says as he presses inside of you.
The stretch knocks all the wind out of your lungs, and the sound you make is intense, pained, absolutely obscene. By the time he’s sheathed every inch in your cunt you’re gripping the bedsheets and squealing, praying to no one in particular that the rooms opposite each side of yours are unoccupied.
“There we go,” he murmurs, stroking your lower back. “Let it all out, sweetheart. How does that feel?”
“It—” You cut yourself off with a groan. “It’s so big.”
“Shh,” he whispers—his hand is now combing through your hair. “I know, baby, I know. Look at you, taking it so well.”
You don’t even know how to breathe again when he pulls his hips back and slowly presses inside of you once more. And then once more. And when Luigi starts to find his rhythm all you can do is blink away your tears and fall face-forward into the bed, your pathetic sounds muffled by the sheets, and he seems to return your enthusiasm—he groans, head thrown back and eyes lidded.
“Fuck, that’s perfect,” he praises. “You can handle it, can’t you, princess?”
Weakly, you nod and offer a whimper. His hand comes down hard on your ass.
“What did I tell you about answering me?” Luigi spits, voice gruff.
“Yes, Daddy, yes,” you whine, leaning back up on your elbows. “I can take it, I can.”
He squeezes your rear. “Arch your back for me.”
So you do, easily, and he’s quick to pick up the pace, slamming into you with no regard for anything that isn’t his cock pistoning inside of your warm, slick pussy. The man is relentless, tugging at your hair and panting beautifully; he’s pounding so deep that you swear you can feel the pressure of it in your chest, and you’re so wet that you’re almost worried you’ll leave behind a mess so horrific the janitors of The Palace will need therapeutic compensation for their shift tonight.
“Oh, fuck,” you cry out, “oh, fuck…”
It’s all too much and yet you can’t not want more. You’re working your hips back-and-forth in time with his thrusts, the soft globes of your round ass meeting his pelvis with a noise that is unbearably obvious. The stretch of his cock is unforgiving. Merciless.
With a fistful of your hair, Luigi grunts, “that’s it, baby, there you go. Fuck me back.”
But you’re breaking out a sweat, lip tucked between your teeth. “I can’t—oh, fuck, please…”
“Shh,” he murmurs, tightening his grip on you. “Just rub that little clit and let me do all the work, okay?”
Your fingers swiftly find the slicked bundle of nerves between your thighs and stroke in circles, moving furiously. He’s got both hands planted firmly on your hips, thighs and arms tensing as he hunches over you, fucking into you like a madman, his dick brushing into every sweet spot deep inside of you. If you focus hard enough you can feel his silver chain swinging over your back.
Luigi makes a noise that sounds strangled and involuntary.
“Baby,” he says, “fuck, you’re tight. ‘M not gonna last much longer.”
You nod desperately, hand moving to meet his where it’s clasped over your hip. The fingers of your free hand speed up, slathering your arousal over your clit as Luigi slap-slap-slaps his hips into yours.
He wasn’t lying. It only takes a few more minutes of his vicious pounding for the both of you to come undone; you’re up first, jittering and falling flat into the bed as your toes curl and your cunt grips him like you never want to let go, and that’s all Luigi needs to meet you halfway, thrusts stuttering and slowing to a stop as you milk him. His chest is heaving and his Adam’s apple bobs as he catches his breath, his hand gently caressing your back.
“God,” he mutters as he pulls out of you. “You’re fuckin’ unbelievable.”
You’re sat up in bed, the sheets splayed over your naked body as the shower runs in the distance. By now it’s past midnight, the city only lit up by street lights and the brights of passing cars. As you watch the world pass by through the windows of your suite, you fork through a plate of chocolate mousse cake, specially made by The Palace’s chefs. The bite that fills your mouth is heavenly; it’s rich and fluffy, the icing creamy and the texture smooth. Something sweet to make up for your lack of dessert this evening.
The water turns off. Halfway through your slice of cake fresh from room service, Luigi emerges from the shower, curls wet and skin sheen with warm droplets as he tucks in the towel wrapped snugly around his waist. He smiles at you when you spot him.
“What do you think?” he asks.
You blink. “About my cake?”
He chuckles. “About tonight.”
Now you understand: he wants feedback. Wants to live up to his promises.
“I’m an earnest lover.”
Setting your cake and fork on the nightstand, you approach him—and he sighs happily when you wrap your arms around him and pull him in for a hug, your bare breasts pressed flush to his pecs.
Into his ear, you whisper: “I think you’re the very best Daddy I could ever ask for.”
Luigi smiles devilishly.
#luigi mangione x reader#luigi mangione imagine#luigi mangione fic#luigi mangione fanfiction#flig’s work
241 notes
·
View notes