#like years of being put on a pedestal and to be told you were shit by someone you poured your life into

[tabbytiger]

.

[citrusandcyanide]

Can't Lose You | L.G.

Pairing: Lip Gallagher x f!reader

an. This is my first fic since switching back to this blog and it's also my first Lip fic. I'm So happy to be writing again :,) . This idea won the poll but I'm still cooking up the rest. This will probably be 2-3 parts long. First part is mostly just background, but still got some angst. Would love feedback <3

Synopsis. College decisions are being sent out. Lip doesn't want to go to college unlike his best friend who has her mind set on leaving Chicago and her feelings for Lip behind.

words. 3k

Warnings. Unrequited feelings. angst, smoking, drinking, and angry lip.

Part 2 Part 3 (final)

“I got in,” Lip said standing in the doorway of his best friend's bedroom. You were laying on your bed with a book in your hand when he appeared suddenly in your room. Sitting up, you put the book down and turned towards the door. You gave Lip a confused look as he walks towards you. He sits on the bed beside you before continuing. “MIT. I got in.” 

“Mandy’s application really worked huh?” You were shocked. The situation was almost amusing. Mandy had submitted five college applications in his name. She told you before submitting them, even going as far as asking you to look over them to make sure they were good. Of course when you went to tell her the plagiarism was evident, she cursed you out and left offended. It was funny that one of them worked, but part of you was genuinely shocked. This meant an escape for Lip. A real chance of leaving Chicago and the south side behind, to move on and up. You were genuinely happy, excited even. Lip, on the other hand, didn’t look excited. It was clear by his expression that he was shocked, maybe even a little proud. But he also seemed unimpressed by the prospect of what this meant for his future. 

“You going?” You asked, hopeful that the answer would be yes. You contained your excitement, seeing that he was still unsure if this was good news. 

“Nah. You know I hate the Red Socks” Lip replied, earning a scoff from you. 

“That’s bullshit,” you replied, smacking him on the arm with the book you were reading. “Well, what about the others? Mandy said she was applying to five.” 

“Got three rejections, but uh, UChicago let me in,” He laid back on the bed, using his arm to prop him up. “And I’ve been thinking of all the shit you said about College being important and all.” 

“And?” you said, now looking down at him. You were hoping he would say he was going. Lip was one of the smartest people you know, but also the dumbest. He had an amazing brain but had no clue how to use it sometimes. It was the cause of the biggest tension in your friendship. You were just as smart as Lip, but it didn’t come so easy to you. You were a hard worker, but only because you had to be. It was the only way you saw yourself surviving. To get into college meant an escape from the Southside life and struggles. It was important to you. Lip knew it. He had to listen for the last two years as you stressed out over formulating the applications. He also had to witness a few panic attacks caused by it. College stood on an almost unreachable pedestal, but nothing could convince you you couldn’t reach it. 

You tried your hardest to convince Lip to at least try for the dream, but he wouldn’t listen. He wouldn’t try. And yet the opportunity still was handed to him on a silver platter, like everything good in his life. Here he was, being handed salvation, and he was still going to deny it. A part of you was angry at that, but it was useless being frustrated with him. 

You couldn’t help but think about Mandy. If he really was considering going to college, it wouldn’t be because of you. It was because of Mandy. Lip may be your best friend, but Mandy has had all his attention recently. You told him to apply to college. Lip refused. Mandy applied for him and now he listens. 

It just added to how much you wanted to leave. Everytime you saw Mandy, you had to endure listening to her talk about Lip. The two of you were friends of course. You were thrilled to see her happy, but it still stung seeing her get to Lip instead of you. Lip, the boy down the street, your best friend since your parents moved in when you were young. The boy who stuck by your side through elementary and middle school when it was difficult to make other friends. The boy who took your first kiss in front of the whole school when other girls teased you for not having it yet. During middle school dances, the one who would sit on the bleachers with you instead of dancing. Who you’d spend all your time with. The one who’d sneak you out of your house late at night to smoke joints under the L. The boy you couldn’t help but love. 

He knew it, and you knew he did. It became all too obvious in high school. Lip had started dating girls fairly quickly. He’d spend more nights busy with other girls. It interrupted the time you got to spend together. You understood he had needs and you weren’t exactly wanting to become fuck buddies. So you let it be, trying to ignore the jealous pit in your stomach. 

It all boiled up until one day near the end of sophomore year. The two of you had made plans to hang out at his house, order some food and get high. When you got there, he wasn’t home. Ian and Fiona said they didn’t know where he was. You decided to wait awhile. Debbie had recruited you to play with dolls. When he got back, you had helped yourself to a bag of chips and a soda. He wasn’t alone. A girl you recognized from physics class was strung on his arm. He freezed when he made eye contact with you from your position on the couch. You heard him mutter “shit” under his breath. Your gaze shifted between the girl and Lip. You were beyond irritated, but you refused to show it. Instead you turned your head to the tv. 

“You gonna introduce us, Lip?” You asked, breaking the silence. He didn’t reply. The girl did instead. 

“Um, I’m Jenny… we know eachother from class,” Her tone was awkward, but you could tell she was genuinely trying to be nice. There was a small giggle when she spoke “I’m Lips girlfriend now.” 

Your head shot back up to look at Lip. Your eyes were wide. He didn’t tell you anything about this. He hadn’t even mentioned her to you before, let alone give you a heads up that he was gonna ditch you to spend time with her. Lip avoided your eyes. You were boiling now and Lip could feel it radiating off of you. 

“You could have told me you were bringing company. I would have brought more weed,” You said, the bitterness clearly evident in your tone. 

“Gross. I don’t smoke,” Jenny replied disgusted. You raised your eyebrows and nodded. 

“Real keeper, Lip,” You gave him a sarcastic smile. He scoffed.

“Just go home, kid. We’ll talk tomorrow, Okay?” Lip said before telling Jenny to go up the stairs to his room. You didn’t move from the couch. 

“No, I’ve been waiting here for hours. You could have at least given me a heads up that you were going to cancel. I could have gone home.” 

“Yeah, well, I’m telling you to do that now,” His voice had grown agitated. 

“What is up with you lately? We’ve barely seen eachother and the one day you suggest we actually hang out, you ditch me. Not cool, Gallagher.” 

“Give me a break,” He said running a hand through his hair. His leg was bounced anxiously. He kept looking back up the stairs to make sure Jenny was out of earshot. 

“Like that isn’t what I been doing,” You sat up to face him properly. “I’m trying to be understanding, but honestly I feel kind of neglected. We’re best friends, I think our friendship deserve a little effort put in to it, you know.” 

“Jesus, (Y/N). I’ve got a gorgeous girl waiting for me on my bed right now. Can this PLEASE wait till tomorrow?” Blood was starting to rush to his face. He wasn’t asking. He was ordering. It was like a hit to the chest, but it only fueled your anger.

“Could anything be more important to you than pussy, Lip,” You hissed. Your voice was getting louder with every sentence. “Certainly not your friends because you would have kept your dick in your pants for ONE fucking night to hang out with them.” 

“FUCK OFF, (Y/N),” He was fully yelling at this point. “It’s your issue for waiting so long. I can’t spend every day with you. You’re not the only person in my life. You don’t get to control how I spend my time! Fuck, you’re not my girlfriend. Stop expecting to be treated like you are.” 

“I am well-fucking-aware I’m not your girlfriend. You remind me every fucking day,” you screamed. Your vision blurred as tears began running down your face. You scowled at him. There was a moment of silence as you both realized what you said. Lip grew confused, his face contorted as he was trying to understand what was happening. Everything became dizzy. You took a deep breath and stepped back. You quickly gathered your stuff, wiping the tears away from your eyes. “Moments like these make wonder why I even want to be.” 

Lip was silent. He stared at the floor now. You waited for him to say something. Inside you were begging him to say something. Anything, to cut your embarrassment. He didn’t speak. So you left, wishing you had listened when he told you earlier. 

“God sometimes I really fucking hate you, Gallagher.”  

He showed up at your door the morning after to apologize. You both sat on your porch steps to talk. “She dumped me after you left. She, uh, heard how upset you were. Said something about ‘girls support girls’ and left.’” 

You laughed a little, but didn’t say anything. You were still really embarrassed about last night. An angry confession was not how you ever imagined Lip to find out about your crush. You let him speak. 

“Listen, I’m sorry for how I acted last night. How I’ve been acting. I didn’t mean to make you feel neglected,” Lip said, fiddling with the pack of cigarettes in his hand. You both were facing the house across the street, refusing to look at eachother. “And I’m sorry I blew you off. I take responsibility for that and promise I won’t do it again.” 

“Thank you,” You said quietly. This wasn’t your first fight with Lip. You’d have an argument, one of you would storm out, but by morning the other would always be waiting outside eachothers’ doors to apologize. This was just another one of those mornings. The difference was now he knew that you wished you were dating. “I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have said that… stuff.” 

“Oh what? About wanting to be my girlfriend?” Lip looked at you and smirked. He took a cig out the box and put it between his lips. You groaned and put your head in your hands. Part of you was relieved he could joke about it. A bigger part of you was mortified. 

“We can like erase that from our memories. Please,” You pleaded. “I really prefer it if we never bring it up again.” 

Lip nodded. He offered you the box. You took a cigarette and reached for the lighter in your back pocket before lighting it. Lip took the lighter from you and did the same. 

“You know I don’t think it’s a good idea,” He said after a moment of silence. You looked at him with a pained look on your face. You felt your chest tighten. “The dating thing. I don’t like the idea.” 

“Way to rip my heart out of my chest,” You scoffed a little. You turned your face away from him. You didn’t want to lie. You felt your heart break a little at your words. There you were still hoping a part of him would like the idea. You should have prepared yourself for the rejection. 

“I don’t mean it like that.” He was looking at you fully now. “You’re too good for me, (Y/L/N).”  

“We’re good the way we are now. I don’t want to ruin that. If we date, we’ll break up, and hate each other. It’ll never be the same. This is better. Safer,” He continued once you looked back at him. “In short… I can’t lose you.” 

With that, you never talked about it again. Your feelings never dissolved, but you also never did anything about them. The conversation left you with some hope he felt the same, even if it wasn’t as much as you liked him. He kept quiet too, respecting your feelings. He never joked about it again. He kept his promise and spent more time with you, all until Karen and Mandy. You stayed clear of Karen all together, not wanting to get messed up in her shit, but Mandy was your friend. You weren’t going to abandon her because she started dating your best friend. She didn’t know about your feelings. No one did except you and Lip. 

Lip was the only thing tethering you to Chicago, but he was spending less and less time with you again as senior year was coming to an end. You tried to move on, but this boy was genuinely the only person you could tolerate in your high school. The prospect of college meant the chance to forget your feelings for him. If Lip left for college, maybe you’d both move on for good. You’d be too busy with college to bother with each other. High school was a nightmare with your unrequited feelings for Philip Gallagher and you were sick of it. 

“Did you get any news back?” Lip asked you. He was fully laying on your bed now. You looked at him and shook your head. 

“Few rejections, but I haven’t heard from my reach school yet,” you replied, shifting your position so he could lay more comfortably. 

“They’d be stupid to reject you,” he responded. He picked up the book you were reading to examine it. 

“Yeah we’ll see,” you shrugged. “I hear back from my dream school any day now. SAIC let me in though.” 

“At the art institute?” Lip looked back at you as he asked. “I thought you don’t want to go to school in Chicago.”

“I don’t, but thought I’d give it a shot. I enjoy the campus, and the museum is a big plus.” 

“You know I’d hate to have you leave me here, (Y/L/N),” Lip said, looking back at the ceiling. Your heart skipped a beat at his words. You shrugged it off and tried to ignore the butterflies in your stomach. He can’t say that shit. Not when he’s the only one who could convince me to stay. 

“If you go to Massachusetts, you’d be leaving too, Loser. We’d be even.” You sighed. “Besides, I got my eyes set on California. No way am I tolerating another winter here.”

The conversation ended at that. Lip stayed over until it was dark. Before leaving, he brought up a new topic. 

“You heard about the school dance next Friday?” He asked practically halfway out the door. You nodded. “Interested in going at all?”

“Are you not taking Mandy?” You asked back. Lip shook his head in reply. 

“She’s busy that night. I thought it’d be fun to go just you and me, like we used to.”

“And get high on the fields? Can’t we do that anywhere else?” You asked, grimacing. 

Lip scoffed and shook his head. “It’s the last dance of high school. I thought that’d mean something to you. For old times sake.” 

You smiled. You liked being asked to go. You hadn’t gone to many dances since high school started. It would be nice to have a night with the two of you without Mandy. You could pretend that nothing had changed since you were kids. 

—

Of course things had to change, and they were about to. You were at your mailbox holding your Berkeley acceptance in hand. The paper seemed to glow. This was it. Your ticket out of here. You practically fell to your knees reading it. Your hands were shaking too much to read anymore than the congratulations written at the top of the page. Time slowed as you began to imagine a life outside of Chicago. Your life away from the South Side, away from your school, away from your family, away from Lip. It was hard to imagine what that would look like. Lip had been by your side through everything. You grew up together. All your core memories involved him. Moving was what you wanted but you couldn’t help but grieve your time with Lip. But leaving was necessary, you couldn’t live ignoring your feelings any longer. You had to go. 

You stayed at your mail box for a while. Your eyes stayed glued to the acceptance letter until you heard a familiar voice call out to you from a few houses down. 

“You okay there, (Y/N)?” Lip shouts, standing in his front yard. His sudden presence snaps you out of your thoughts. You folded the paper up and shoved it back in the envelope before walking over to the Gallagher home. 

“Totally fine,” You half smiled, opening the gate to enter his yard. You tried desperately to shake off your visible grief. You just wanted to celebrate and spend time with your best friend. “Great even. I need a drink.” 

Lip let out a laugh and let you inside. With no further questions, you entered the house, grabbed two beers out of the fridge and made your way up the stairs into Lip’s room. Meanwhile, Lip’s eyes never left the envelope that you held in your hand.

[mecania]

Before people say anything about bloodborne not having anything to do with women in the slightest I'm going to need them to an intense read up on medical history and then read Simone du Beauvoir's 'The Second Sex' and then like. everything else by Beauvoir, if you have not already, as a MINIMAL baseline. very, very bare bones reading, but it should be enough if you actually want to engage with discussions regarding the treatment of women in medical instituitions and the supposed ideal of the 'perfect, true female body' in actual good faith. (please take note... this is working off of the understanding that gender is not ontological and is not grounded in anything real. there is no reality to the idealised woman under the patriarchy, and there is no worth in defending it because it can only harm and makes no fucking sense. thank you)

Even if you do not think the subtext was intentional (which it very much is, i don't typically like stating 'if you want to understand the story watch this youtuber!' but charred thermos on yt delves into the inspirations behind hemwick charnel lane and that is proof enough that the writers did give a shit about the unique position of women in the world of medicine and religion. also he has multitudes more knowledge on 18th century european medicine as told in art than i do), that does not deny the fact that it can still be read in that lens and it makes bloodborne much more rounded out and meaningful in our current social climate. it is impossible to make a complete work of art about medical and religious institutions and the abuse they have enacted for years without engaging in discussions about how oppressed groups were treated by these institutions.

there is implicit reference to the treatment of 'foreigners' in these medical systems. notice how the patients in maria's lab, those who are not put in 'better conditions' (like adeline, who has her own space) speak in a distinctly different accent/cadence than most other characters you find. you are explicitly hit with xenophobia by the first few doors you knock on aside from gilbert's. this game is not 'vague', it is very, very allegorical and referential.

there are very good references to the idealisation of the 'woman', and how this construct works in reality, that i cannot think of it being anything but a discussion of this very concept and showing the truth behind it. a confusing part of sexism can be the utter difference between the treatment towards pregnancy versus the treatment towards women. it is, in truth, not a 'mistake' in the system, but rather an intentional facet. the woman is not substantial but a concept to be maintained for the sake of other ideologies like purity, heritage, and legacy (which is why the concept of 'womanhood' is so heavily disputed and even denied to those who you think should fit into it by these rules. it is simply plain bullshit). in the patriarchy the concept of the woman is divine, but the 'substantial' woman is believed to be dirtied by the nature of her existence. this is why we can abuse women's bodies while at the same time worship pregnancy; pregnancy is her saving grace in the system's eyes. this is what happens to queen yharnam, to arianna, and to get the point across even further so unbelievably clearly, this is what happens to kos. once a living god, an extraterrastial being that is the root of worship still now. in stark contrast to the immense pedestal she is placed upon, her physical body was discarded, maimed and brutalised for the sake of cutting her apart and taking out what was inside of her; her stillborn.

this is where we see the contrast between the worship of the conceptual woman versus. the treatment of the 'real' woman who has had this concept forced on her and what has been determined to be her physical body. the physical body of the determined woman will never meet the standard of the conceptual woman, because that is what it is; a false truth, an idealisation, and something to control, to detain. kos is trampled in death, her body is a tool, despite the passionate worship she received then and receives now. she is revered as a 'mother' yet at the same time it is this status and its claimed actualisation that allowed for them to dismantle and abandon her corpse. you hear her name praised and called upon for knowledge, yet when you find her, she is a pitiable corpse, blending in with the grey sand beneath her. the worship done in the name of the divine, holy, mythological 'female body' is not done in spite of the treatment of the supposed real woman. it is done in tandem.

[lnkedmyheart]

I like Oda as a character, I like the way he contributes to the story and how he influences the narrative. I do not however like Oda any more than say Karma or Fitzgerald. And in my very honest opinion, the huge problem with Oda's fandom characterization comes from idolization and the cool dead guy trope. The fandom sees Oda as this affable guy but also sees him through Dazai's eye where Dazai idolized him and puts him on a pedestal. The fandom sets Oda up as this faultless, flawless, perfect man who had all his shit together and was wise beyond his years and could do no wrong, all powerful token of perfection. He goes from a flawed interesting character to a Mary sue with silly quirks for "flaws". And this is why people so often misinterpret his relationship dynamic with Dazai and the impact of his final words. People are not allowed to analyse and critique Oda as a character because the moment you say you don't like him you have to put out an apology for hurting the fandom's feelings (real event, one user on tiktok had to actually apologise).

Oda is not perfect, he is not ideal and he is not faultless. Oda is not some pure soul like people insist he is, he was an assassin and while he no longer kills he was still working for the mafia. He was still involved in an organization dealing in assassinations, murders, gang violence, trafficking and more. He's barely 22 when he dies, he is young, he is traumatized and struggling to connect. Aside from that he takes dumb as hell actions like repeatedly going to visit the kids he adopted in broad daylight while there was a literal terrorist with a vendetta against him on the loose. He also repeatedly indulges Dazai's spirals, something that Ango explicitly calls him out on. Yes it makes Dazai feel like he has a peer but Oda is literally one of the most passive personalities in Dazai's life until his death, he rarely calls Dazai out on his spirals, often indulging his worst self destructive tendencies. He also struggles to place Dazai, putting him on a pedestal and alternating between seeing him as someone born to remain in the darkness and a child on the verge of tears. Oda also repeatedly fails to understand the sheer amount of hope Dazai had during dark era, most notable in their second last meeting when Dazai desperately tries to stop him from his suicide mission by trying to give him hope. Dazai is a very hopeful character who latches onto the most minor things in his life and postpones his death for them despite being actively suicidal. Oda's final words to Dazai take away any real hope he had while telling him that he should live to serve other people. Oda's words made Dazai into a martyr who only values himself through what he can do to save the innocent.

And no, I'm not saying this to slander Oda. I'm saying this to humanize him. Nobody in bsd is perfect. Everyone is flawed and human. Oda made stupid decisions, was involved with the mafia, etc and that makes him human. That makes his ending a tragedy greater than the fall of some faultless pious hero. Oda's final words were meant to give Dazai hope to keep living, to leave the mafia in a way that he never did and to do good in a way that he never could. And the problem was that he didn't understand Dazai was always this hopeful guy. He needed to be told that he will find a reason but Oda thought he wouldn't cause Oda was actively projecting on Dazai, and that's a theme in bsd, everyone projects on Dazai. In his final moments he told this suicidal kid looking for something to keep living for, that he will never find anything to live for and to dedicate himself to other people.

Yes Oda helped Dazai escape but he also broke something in that boy. And Atsushi is desperately trying to tell him now that no, Dazai doesn't need to martyr himself for others, that he deserves to live regardless.

Ready to get cancelled but I don't like the fandom Oda. I much prefer the Oda who accidentally fucked up his last words because he was projecting too hard. Like beast universe literally exists because that versions of Dazai took Oda's words way too seriously and tried to create a world where everyone but he survives and remains happy.

[nerd-cat-rambles]

Danganronpa Manga Rant- Leon and Sayaka:

@yukiteruakari told me about a Danganronpa Manga edition, and OH MY GOD!!! Thankyou so much for this bro omg.

I'm only up to "Junkos" impaling, but it's so much better than the one I have.

I'll put some screenshots below, and the link too because so far it's translated to English.

Why the Manga is better, what it could do for the fandom:

It gives Sayaka and Leon so much more development as characters and seeing as Mondos case is next we might get to see what they talked about in the sauna. (<- there are so many fan theories for that one, and I'm excited to finally get more lore.)

It's hard to be a Danganronpa fan in 2024 because it all happened 14, 12, and 7 years ago. So like... Spike aren't going to just start explaining more lore on twitter randomly because they feel like it, Danganronpa is done, but this manga helps us understand the killers motive.

If ALL of the fandom read it I'd probably assume the "Mondo Brother Killer >:(" cliche that some of the fandom define him as would be gone, because it has his POV instead of a Monokuma flashback and a shitty animated clip of him doing it "for no reason" other than being "strong-strong-strong-strong-strong" (from the canon game and animation 2014.)

LeoXSaya Rant, Manga>>>Animation:

And yes, Sayaka was revealed to be a bit more of a "snake" (she isn't btw) but her motives were humane and we only thought she wasn't because Makoto is the protagonist and wouldn't think bad about any of his friends.

It also gives Leon haters a reason to stfu and enjoy his character design and small role while it lasts, and it's better than playing his FTEs because he's just gloating about picking up chicks and being better than everybody at Baseball despite hating in from what I've seen.

Also, the art is just BETTER.

The dialogue is just BETTER!

They gave Sayaka a reason to invite Leon over. Because in the anime and game yes it's "wow Sayaka is so hot" on Leons part, but wouldn't that mean Leon would've been the person to invite her to HIS room instead?

But in the Manga they explain her thought process, anybody who hasn't read it will probably just go "Sayaka's dumb for inviting a STAR ATHLETE to try and kill!" but she's smart because if she had killed him she already had an alibi. "We were friends! We bonded over music and drank tea together!" or something... saying that, Sayaka couldn't WIN because Makoto knew about the room swapping ofc. And she'd leave evidence and whatnot.

*Sighs* The Animation Butchered Our Boys...:

(BOYS BECAUSE THE ANIMATION BUTCHERED SO MANY CHARACTERS AND GAVE THEM PISSY MOTIVES AND SHIT-)

I hate the anime alot, but the thing that PISSED ME OFF THE MOST (about 1-1 of the animation) WAS LEON'S REACTION. He was having a mental breakdown, which was fine and accurate... probably good as well instead of him screaming "stupid" then losing it halfway through the word and realising his fate quietly.

They give him a moment of remorse.

"I didn't want to... I mean she... she was tring to... kill me... right? I just... didn't know what else to do... okay...?" (quote end)

but then he gets mad.

I don't know about you, but on first watch this ruined it for me. "He's just screaming now..." like... it makes me mad for almost no reason.

He was about to have a very humane moment of "I didn't have a choice..." he's looking down at the pedestal thingy in the court, he's defeated, he's sad, he's been caught. He's in despair.

Then he yells at the others "you would've done the same thing in my shoes!"

And you know what the writers did instead of making him cry after that? Anything... would've been better, but this is the dam animation we're talking about...

"I DIDN'T HAVE A CHOICE OKAY! THE CRAZY SKANK WAS GOING TO KILL ME, WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO?!"

He did have a choice...

The manga gave him a choice, he tried to save Sayaka. Then he ended up killing her, ON ACCIDENT. That line alone contradicts the fact of any of that happening, he and Sayaka had just bonded hours earlier.

Like, this is my opinion and I've never heard anybody talk about this before, BUT THE WRITERS NEEDED TO WRITE LEON BETTER!!! The game wrote Leon fine, but the animation was a second chance at giving him development!

I liked him trying to escape the court room though. That was a nice touch that I don't think was in the game.

BUT BROOOOO HE CALLED SAYAKA A SKANK HOURS AFTER ADMITTING HE WAS CRUSHING ON HER, DANGANRONPA ANIMATION WHERE'S THE LOGIC!

Like, the scene made me so mad on re-watch and I can't pinpoint why!

Like instead of this: https://youtu.be/CbQ6McYz7U0?t=59

(Good animation though imo, the closeup expressed his emotions nicely-)

HAVE THIS THOUGH, THIS IS SO MUCH BETTER!

IT JUST HITS WAY BETTER-

Anyway, that's my rant of the day because why not.

The game itself had issues, but compared to the animation it was just so much better, and makes me want to give it a 7/10 instead of a 6...

[firecrackerhh]

I’m so fucking tired of hearing people bitch that Viv’s shows are bad queer rep or something like I’m sorry, do you think every LGBT+ person or minority is fucking incapable of doing bad things? Do you think they are immune from doing bad things purely off their minority status?

Stop putting minorities, sexual or otherwise on fucking pedestals. Not every fucking queer person is a fucking uwu soft baby who just needs a hug or whatever.

Queer people do bad things, BIPOC do bad things. You know why?

Because they are human, and thus they are just as capable of being a fucking piece of shit as anyone else.

And those kinds of people deserve representation too! Stop being a whiny bitch cus the show isn’t representing you specifically or whatever.

Ngl if anything I think that’s kinda fucking offensive tbh like holy shit, just because you’re obviously a whiny fucking baby with the emotional maturity of a fucking 7 year old at best doesn’t mean every other LGBT person is as sensitive as you. Get over it.

To essentially imply that certain human beings are incapable of making bad decisions purely off of their minority status is fucking infantilizing and it’s fucking gross. Fuck you.

Plenty of LGBTQ people like Viv’s stuff, if you don’t like it, whatever, but claiming it’s bad queer rep, likely because you’re so terrified of conservatives that you don’t want to “rock the boat” as it were, if you think such rep shouldn’t exist because of the inevitable conservative backlash or whatever, you’re a fucking coward and I don’t respect you.

Newsflash, conservatives want you dead no matter what. It doesn’t matter if you’re the “good gay” they still hate you! They still want you to suffer for your “sin.” Whether intentional or otherwise, using their talking points is fucking disgusting. Do you have any fucking respect for yourself?

Putting people on pedestals, thinking they can do no wrong ever, is fucking delusional. Get your fucking head out of your ass and realize that human beings come in all shapes and sizes. Bad queers and BIPOC exist and showing the messy parts of their lives in media isn’t fucking “bad” queer or BIPOC rep just because you don’t relate to it.

So fucking entitled, so bratty, go watch The Owl House or some bullshit if you want squeaky clean LGBT rep.

Take your whiny bratty bullshit and fucking shove it up your ass you disgustingly pathetic crybabies. You spineless cowards.

LGBT and BIPOC folks deserve to have their stories told, even if they aren’t squeaky clean or family friendly. If you think otherwise you’re fucking retarded, sorry not sorry.

Never mind the fact that the point of Hazbin Hotel specifically is about redeeming people that have done horrible shit. If you see their bad actions and immediately think “bad queer rep” without taking into account the whole point of the fucking show is watching these terrible people become better, then I don’t know what to tell you. I think your brain is fucking broken.

Perhaps these people get so mad because they don’t believe in redemption, that any mistake you made is a stain on your character permanently. I wonder what skeletons they must hide if that’s the case…

Viv is not your enemy. And the fact you act like she is shows just how fucking retarded you actually are. These people don’t even know who their real enemies are, it’s fucking pathetic.

🧨🔥~Firecracker out~🧨🔥

[rcttencore]

wait till you hear about this next nominee: KANG JUYEONG, born on the 13th of AUGUST, 1993 and bears a striking resemblance to LEE SUNGKYUNG. they’re a FOURTH year BACHELOR OF FINANCE student and RAISED FUNDS TO BUILD THE UNIVERSITY'S FIRST CHAPEL — impressed yet? rumor has it they’re hoping to be the FINANCE DIRECTOR IN MBC, but personally, i think they should aim a little higher — something like the king’s club, for one. now, that suits them a little more, don’t you think? guess we’ll just have to see if they’ve got the talent for it in our upcoming recruitment round.

erm so hi again!! :D august, 21+, swapping one mess for another! i watched this one edit of the roy family to charli xcx's apple and i was like wow i need this canon.... fly high naeon (k*lled her off like they did with my favourite character in the boys season finale but we don't talk about that).. anyways, this is judgemental, elitist, ew poor people, miss kang juyeong! favourite granddaughter of mbc's ceo, who only gives a shit about you if you're old money rich!

super sorry to everyone i've spent the last 2 weeks plotting with, but i promise we'll brainstorm and come up with equally fun plots because she will most definitely cause drama!! ‪♡‬ like this plot for me to double-text you or just drop into your dms again!!

as always more info below!!

personality

inspo: charli xcx’s apple, the glory’s lee sara (thank U gloss for this), gen v’s cate dunlap (juyeong would be a homelander i fear), basically every member of the succession family (but mostly shiv roy’s entitlement), hints of scream queens' chanel oberlin & euphoria’s maddy  tropes: million dollar baby, the hellkite positive loyal, meticulous, articulate, cultured, protective negative pompous, hypocritical, judgemental, elitist, condescending cunt sun, whore moon, bitch rising leo sun, sag moon, leo rising

tbh shes pretty simple. just your typical snobby bitch who thinks people should just stop being poor and will tell u condescendingly about it

strong belief in maintaining a certain social order (if gatekeeping was a person, it'd be her) & extremely elitist 

she’s very big on keeping a good image for the camera (in public, at least, she’s not stupid!). all about smiling for the camera, showing your perfect self but close the doors, invite her to the king’s club, and she’ll show her true colors 

sharp tongue, has the tendency to be very dramatic (it's the leo in her)

she’s the biggest fucking hypocrite out there! she’ll act like the bible is her religion, no sin but then she’s snorting coke off some guy’s abs

but honestly, if ur in her inner circle then you’re kinda set for life. she’ll literally die for you. would go to the ends of the world for u. you ask for the moon? juyeong will get it for you. 

the kind who would provide you an alibi no matter what like ‘babe your boyfriend just called and asked where you were, i told him we were watching a movie but idk where you actually are’ vibes 

her feelings about hyungseo: she thinks he’s gaudy and tacky. although she begrudgingly accepts his presence in the king’s club, she does not like him at all!

background

she’s her grandfather’s favourite child - he thinks she’s like the second coming of jesus or something 

but in reality, it’s kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy. he puts her up on a pedestal and spoils her rotten and she’s the only person in the whole family who wholeheartedly listens and believes him & his tradition.. so it kinda works! 

most of her cousins just write it off as an old man’s rambles and their families have enough money…and her older sister is the worst offender though she gets disowned when she’s sixteen for flipping her granddad on live television and just saying some nasty shit about the church her family runs (she gets written off because she’s a teenage girl right but there is truth to her words) 

as she grows older, there are things with her grandfather’s ideology that she doesn’t necessarily subscribe to but she likes the taste of privilege too much to act otherwise 

and she has her own set of values - it’s a mix of what she believes from the bible & what she’s been raised up with. do they contradict sometimes? yes! does juyeong really care? no, not at all! her moral code is whatever she believes to be

but one thing she keeps with her is that u should only trust and respect the generationally wealthy <3 the inner circle of the top 1% is life <3 family name is everything to her!

even with the king’s club, she got in via having connections who vouched for her and just generally made the rituals/ life easier lol 

she thought being in the king’s club would mean being with like-minded individuals but little did she know… people get in on the merit of hard work too! and not just their family names! ew! 

post grad, she’s working in mbc as a finance director (nepo baby vibes) 

her family is also going through shit after the whistleblower ratted them out for embezzlement and they’re going through Serious Investigations and… let’s just say juyeong is practicing escapism heavily (read: she’s pretending nothing is wrong)

plots

we can brainstorm but just some high level stuff! 

her inner circle please <3

people who have blackmail on her !!! like your family’s fucked. u want to make it worse for them? 

also people she does not respect and just has a general antagonistic relationship with !!

omg pls give me people who think her penance is due!! like she used to tell them to fuck right off because they were new money or whatever and now, your muse is like “who’s fucking laughing now?” [jojo siwa vc] karma’s a bitch

someone related to the plot, did something fucked up to hyungseo and juyeong saw but she’s taking it to the fucking grave bc she considers u a friend ~

juyeong fucks a someone she thinks isn't worthy of being in the king's club - alternatively, juyeong falls in love with someone she doesn't think should be in the king's club ^__^

[aphrodite1288]

Admins keep changing here 😶. The previous admin wrote that they have no connections and sources when it comes to KaDi and updated stuff with old news. What is the current situation? Do you have reliable sources and contacts again?

That means you're from the old group, because this is something that was said only in the old group. And this is actually sad that no matter what you've been given there form info and stories Admins genuinely shared you're still never grateful. And that is the reason why they left but mainly because they're busy because they have a life unlike you.

They said it's hard to get info about Kadi because of Ji's enlistment but mainly because Exol whom are closer to Exo are kinda tired it's been 12 years they've been working hard to follow and get infot about Exo and kadi, honey longtime ago they hit the truth they've been looking for and they're no longer that excited because they see Kadi all the time and it became something normal, let alone many don't even like them being together and don't want to share anything about them when they go out on dates or meals or get seen traveling together, to protect their individual image and the Group's image and not ruin the Exo career. They're not as excited to see Kadi as you because they've been seeing them for 12 years it became Normal.

And let me tell you what they call you and us guys here, they call you "Commoners aka the international annoying fans who think they know their idols on a close personal level, they be laughing at you for babying your idols and making them this pitcher perfect image that they're saints who never sinned or smoked or fucked or hooked up, I used to hate it when they called us " annoying newbies who think they know their idols" but now I know why. They laugh at you and say " These mfs are so annoying they believe they can argue with us and that they know shit about their faves but most of them if they ever get to know what their faves are doing and that they're not virgins on that perfect pedestal they've put them on, I bet they'll turn their backs on them asap." They always said " Never give them anything! They don't deserve to know anything about Exo, they're always gonna find something to criticize and bark about"

I use to feel sad when I see or hear them saying this, but now I know why. You an never be grateful.

Our sources did warn us to not share anything because no matter what the Kadiists will never feel grateful and they told us something really deep " Humans are greedy creatures, they'll always ask for more, never satisfied with what you give them, and at a certain point they'll bite the giving hand that feed them and say that the food's gone bad and boring".

And because of what old admins shared here to you and the backlash they got in return from haters and from Confused Kaisooists who really want to believe but don't want to, they got warned by their sources because their insiders saw what you all were saying, and they told then " we told you leave them hungry they'll never be grateful" and this is why they moved to a private group, which was also closed because of the same reason: ungrateful Patricias.

I don't know how it is hard for you guys to just take what you've been given or Leave it and leave!? Really is it that hard?

If you don't believe, leave 🫴🏻

[narcissisticpdcultureis]

((Vent, very sorry it didnt start out as vent!)) Questioning NPD culture is lying to yourselves about your feelings and motivations and capacity for empathy for years because Narcissist was the biggest insult in your family and friend's groups and empathy was something you NEEDED to have, like it was a status symbol more then a personality trait. And if you were an "empath" you were the nicest best person ever and safest from shit talking and bullying. But to be the empath you had to CONSTANTLY prove it and prove how morally superior you were to everyone else but be supper humble about it and not embrace that fact and the people you surrounded yourself with were also obsessive and constantly trying to trap you or trick you to slip up so they could revile that your just as bad as they are even though THEY put you on this pedestal to begin with. THEY made you a lair. THEY already labeled you the "nice one" and you already have no seance of identity so you cling to that. Until you realize that maybe you are a Narcissist, a covert Narcissist but one all the same, and maybe your not a pure being who thinks and dose no wrong. Maybe you ARE selfish and struggle with empathy and seeing yourself as wrong and being told you are. Maybe you DO do things just to get attention. And maybe thats okay and not synonyms with "evil bad person who only cares about themselves" and then you realize that maybe no one will take you seriously or believe you because youve kept all signs and personality traits that would be considered NPD in your own head and have been beating the shit out of yourself internally for to long because you thought it was just bad habits and thoughts that you needed to just over come, you thought people could read your thoughts and would call you out for having non "empath thoughts"...and youve never even had a "supply" EVER before because while you need attention it HURTS so bad and youve spent most of your life begging people NOT to compliment you because it use to make you feel so good and superior to others but you thought that was a bad thing so...you just kinda sit with it and try not to think about the time your friends looked up Narcissist types and all agreed that the "Covert Narcissist" was the "worst one" and "most dangerous" because their basically hiding their "true nature" and so are the "most manipulative" and think about how your gonna have to convince them you wernt trying to manipulate anyone. You were just scared to be called a bad person.

.

[destinyc1020]

What saddens me the most on this topic, is why are we putting everything constantly on Tom's shoulders?? So what he didn't repost. That young man is being pulled constantly in a thousand directions. His dog just died, he's trying to support Zendaya's movie, he's working, he's expected to help his family and friends with there dreams, he's not been allowed to grieve properly. He's even helping his moms charity by using his name solely to get donations. This is nuts.

Why are we expecting celebrities to say something regardless on there platform?. I just told someone earlier this is a test against not only him, but his relationship, a little bit. He and Zendaya may be deeply in love, but people will turn this around and come after her for being with him if this continues. People don't believe me, but it is true. Because it can affect her career and zendaya overthinks, and possible choices may need to be made. I can tell you right now, that young man would rather break off the relationship than to see her career suffer damage because he knows how hard she has worked for this that he would let it go. I see absolutely nothing wrong with being apolitical. I don't want celebrities speaking for me. I couldn't care less about what they have to say if we are dealing with real world issues. People have been hating on him since he was in school. Enough is enough. And Francesca is not a kid, speak the hell up and tell people that she is being supported as well. If she is. I mean what is he personally supposed to do. Get her a mental health counselor. People aren't going to listen to him. They hate him for being with Zendaya and just being alive, basically.

If I were him, leave the damn play, put a black Romeo in there and let them do it without him. Support everyone from the audience. Give the money back, and just finish off Spiderman with a huge contract. Yes, people want to see him but, no. Get the attention completely off him and put in Daniel Kaaluya and keep.it moving. People have been consistently cruel to this young man for zero good reasons for YEARS NOW since 2016 and before. NOT MONTHS, YEARS. Who cares if he supports zendaya by likes. He liked Francescas stuff as well.

People are going to cause him to remove himself sooner than later from public life. Anything that is positive in the world doesn't have a chance. Look how they jumped on Zendaya over a damn seat at a fashion show regarding Law and were just cruel as ever. She gets it in doses, he gets in every time. From his looks, height, hair, etc.

Fuck racist. But, people should be calling on Elon Musk more so than anything to make this shit stop.

I think I'm going the same way as the other anon. It's not fun anymore. Tooo much negativity towards one person. ALL THE TIME IS INSANE. No racists can remove me,but I will support Tom and Zendaya by going to the movies and watching my TV.

I realized recently...I can imagine Tom and Zendaya hate that their relationship is public. The constant beat downs take there toll. People will lift her on a pedestal and slam him daily or vice versa depending on the topic. They don't care about him. Only if he's a good boyfriend or not.

I always wonder where are his publicist, and why don't they get ahead of shit before it gets to this??? What is he paying for? They sure don't do much to keep him in a positive light I know that much, EVER.

Thanks for letting me rant.

Okay Girl.... I need you to take some deeeeep breaths in and out for me....

Maybe you're just ranting and letting off some steam, but nothing you mentioned is going to happen. This isn't going to affect Tom and Zendaya's relationship, they're not going to quit the play, and I don't think TZ regret anything about their relationship....not even being public. (If you ask me, hiding profusely was stifling and not conducive for a long-term relationship of two massive celebrities in the public eye imo)

I personally don't need for celebrities to speak out on political issues on social media either (especially if they haven't done their research and don't know what they're talking about), but to try and pretend that people aren't going to have ANY reactions/thoughts/feelings about what's going on in the world when they live in the same country, or earth that we live on is just naive imo.

Also, not ALL celebrities were born rich. In fact, MANY were just regular degular working-class citizens like you and me. So to say that some are "out of touch".... Like, how do you know that? How do you know what types of lives some people have had before they became famous? Just saying.... Some have had worse lives than I have even had before they got famous lol. Just saying lol.

Anyway.... I think it's good for you all to take a long break from Twitter (or maybe even all of social media) for a while. Either that, or just limit what you choose to look at. If you see that there's something negative on there, immediately click OUT of tweet, quickly scroll away, or go search something else.

[monsterfucker-lisa-swallows]

i've said before that it is completely out of line to look at a person recounting painful memories of childhood abuse and then bring up their past mistakes and i'm standing by that. i know some of you are going to jump on me for saying "mistakes" but this isn't me trivializing. this is me looking at things in context.

i haven't seen these supposed sources where they say drake bell's victim admitted to lying. i looked at news sources from the time and looked at statements given and haven't seen it anywhere in there that she admitted to lying, which i would assume would be front page news. if anyone wants to direct me to something verifiable that isn't part of a tiktok conspiracy, i would be interested. i have seen that bell wasn't convicted of actually touching the girl and they found no evidence of pictures ever being sent. the internet keeps vaguely saying the girl stalked him before and lied about her age and i don't know how true that is. it's always reprehensible to groom children and there isn't a justification for that. a few years ago i might agree with commentators saying "you don't just not know that someone is 12" but i worked at space camp for the past few years and there were a few times where i was looking for my assigned group and was told that the group that i'd assumed were 17 and 18 year olds (because they were taller than me and more muscular or filled out) were actually 12 and were actually my assigned group. idk what they're putting in the water but i assume it's these damn tiktok beauty standards. and i often have the opposite problem - when i was 16, people would assume i was 13. now that i'm 29, people assume i'm 19-14. i have a friend in her mid20s who is constantly mistaken for a 10 year old boy. it is fucking hard to tell how old someone is and if it's true that she was in his shows which were meant to be 18+ he'd have no reason to know her age. i've seen commentators state he immediately broke off contact when learning about her age.

i want to give benefit of the doubt in this case. i want to believe that the apology given was with complete accountability and remorse. imagining being in his position and realizing he may have contributed to an unsafe situation on par with one he himself experienced may have been a huge wake up call for him. i want to remind everyone though that we are not called on to forgive drake bell. we're not the wronged party in the case. the only one who can give forgiveness is the victim and victims do not owe that.

and with that i feel i should say that i can unfortunately believe that the domestic violence accusations may be true. the timeline seems to match up with the years immediately following what happened with him, the years he'd be more likely to flounder and struggle with the secret he was keeping. who knows what unprocessed trauma he was living with? it doesn't make it okay by any means (and again we are not the ones tasked with "forgiving" him and victims don't even owe that) but it makes a certain sense in context. i do think drake bell needs to come forward and tell people to stop attacking his ex on social media because come the fuck on. just because someone went through something horrific doesn't mean they can't do fucked up shit. i know i've done fucked up shit and i've worked through it as best i can. internet harassment and hate campaigns are not the way, but we didn't learn that lesson with amber heard (who i 100% believe sorry not sorry).

i think we need to move on from this mentality of holding people (particularly child stars) up on pedestals then dragging them down when they do fucked up shit. i have to believe people can change and grow. i'm willing to give people the benefit of the doubt so long as a pattern doesn't emerge. we need to move on from thinking that there is a "perfect" victim or that if someone has transgressed in later life that means their victimhood doesn't matter. we can mourn the child that drake bell was. we can mourn the child that amanda bynes was. we can mourn the person that all these people could be if they weren't swallowed by this cesspit. that is a separate conversation from talking about the ways they fucked up after coming out of that environment irreparably damaged.

leave behind the mentality that to show compassion for another human being is the same as "forgiving" them. and move on from the mentality that you personally are the one wronged when these people's lives have nothing to do with you.

[moonjxsung]

omg i heard we were trashing exes.

i'm gonna try to keep this short but i was with this piece of shit for almost four years so he did quite a lot of damage and trauma.

my first bf was in high school, i was vvvvv clueless about serious relationships and what was normal and what wasn't. anyway,

man said ily like two weeks in, told me we'd get married, bought me things as his way to get me to not be mad at him instead of actually apologizing for what he did. he had me convinced that id be nothing without him, that no one would love me the way he did and wouldn't love me after him cos of how much he fucked me up.

he had a serious god complex and really put himself on a pedestal, he was the smartest person and would not hesitate to bring others down for his own gain. even me his own damn gf. (keep in mind we dated in high school and now i'm 22 and he's still the same to this day.)

i grew up being called dumb and stupid by my peers so he used the fact i grew up believing i was a dumbass to his advantage to convince me that he's smart so he knows what's best. he looked down on me, talked down to me like i was a clueless child and he was simply leading the way.

even if he knew little to nothing about my friends and family cos he never tried to get to know them he would take the opportunity to shit on them whenever i'd rant about issues that came up. he tried to control which friends i was allowed to hang out with by making a good and bad friend list and showing that to my mother.

(at the time our relationship was rocky and she reached out to him cos she wanted to know i was okay. instead of telling her that she could trust me he makes a fucking list)

he ruined relationships with friends we shared, eventually isolating me from everyone. he became my support system and only friend.

bro had me feeling like anything and everything i did was wrong. looking back he never went out of his way to get to learn about what i liked, my hobbies and shit but was more than happy to give me every little detail about his interests when i'd ask him. he criticized everything i liked or did.

bro was the definition, the human fucking form of a manipulator, gaslighter and overall toxic human being. love really makes you stupid and blind to the fucked up shit that happens in a toxic relationship so it wasn't till i got out that i realized the shit he did to me wasn't normal (don't even get me started on the other shit that would literally need a big ass trigger warning)

my ex after him was 10x better but even if that ex did the bare fucking minimum of communication, respect and being a decent human i was like "omg this hasn't happened before" "omg is this normal?"

this ex was actually great but the fact i was in awe of the bare minimum means the toxic ex really had my bar on the floor

anyway ily star

~ 🌸

BESTIE :( I am so fucking sorry oh my god he sounds like absolute fucking SCUM :( the fact that all of us have a horror story about some ex is actually so alarming like WHAT is it with men that they just go around treating everyone like fucking garbage WHYYY are you even seeking out a relationship then???? And then people wonder why we love forms of escapism like fanfic or romance as a genre bc we love imagining healthy love and intimacy… as a form of escape from the complete opposite we’ve been dealt 🤕 I hope you’re far far away from him now & staying both safe and healthy!! None of those shitty ass fucking men deserved you anyway and I’m manifesting so hard that you find someone actually worth your time who gives you all the love n respect you deserve. Swear we could make a fucking emotional support group on here with how many of you guys have horror stories abt men 😭😭 sending you all my love annonie I hope you heal from all you’ve been dealt :( I love you always 🫂💓🫶🌙⭐️

[nazuna-tunnel-vision]

Izumi/Nazuna propaganda post

in celebration of the IzuNazu in Nazuna's FS2 4*, here’s a quick rundown on their relationship!

they haven't gotten much attention since Tennis Club no longer exists, but Izumi & Nazuna are so wholesome and funny please join me in my izunazu brainrot

The Basics: Tennis Club

Izumi & Nazuna were in separate classes in their 3rd year, but in the same Tennis Club with Tori & Yuu-kun. Izumi joined just to see Yuu-kun, but this simply resulted in Yuu-kun skipping every now and then to avoid Izumi. When Izumi doesn’t get to play with Yuu-kun, he bullies Tori instead. Tori is screaming and throwing hissy fits. He's trying to order people around, but this fails because Izumi is equally self-centred and orders him right back (Izumi also succeeds. He enjoys making Tori run after stray balls). Yuu-kun is too busy screaming and running from Izumi. Nazuna’s the captain because none of the rest can do that job. He has his hands full trying to manage the two huge egos that are Izumi & Tori, plus Makoto's anxiety. The club is always on the verge of exploding. Read Doctor’s Coat.

That said, Izumi & Nazuna are still good friends! You can see this in how they call each other; it's very in line with how they address every one else they consider friends. Nazuna calls Izumi "Izumi-chin" and Izumi calls him "Nazunyan". Which is the CUTEST nickname Izumi has given ever. Explodes my mind every time.

But anyway, the thing that explodes my mind the most regarding IzuNazu is: Nazuna's ex-Valk grievances and how it factors into their relationship.

Starfes is the story for this.

Izumi defends Nazuna when Shu is going on a bitter ex tangent, saying something like "If you think that of Nazunyan, then you really never knew him at all." He reveals that Nazuna talks to him about his feelings on ex-Valk.

I just. grips head. Its been noted multiple times that before their 3rd year, Nazuna and Izumi were rarely ever spotted without Shu or Leo respectively by their side (and Nazuna barely talked at all). Which means that they weren't friends during The War and Izumi didn’t personally see all that ex-Valk shit go down by Nazuna’s side. Nazuna had to have willingly told Izumi about it after the fact.

And it wasn't just like, Nazuna exploding one day and just venting to Izumi. It seems like an ongoing thing and Izumi truly does care and is very invested in this. Another IzuNazu moment in Starfes - Izumi voice: "Oh, Valkyrie is having problems? Psh, don't care, Nazunyan and Naru-kun’s problems aren’t my problem. (in the same breath) Let’s go help them.”

I just think it's so gnhrhghrng that Izumi cares so much about Nazuna and his hang-ups about Valkyrie. And it's really nice that Nazuna has someone like this to talk to, especially since his social circle is basically:

juniors (have to keep the reliable Niichan persona in front of them, can't tell them about his problems)

his classmates - Oddballs (Shu's friends and also probably wouldn't sit still enough to listen, and would speak in a language Nazuna can't understand), Leo (aliens on brain) and Kuro (Nazuna's friend but is also Shu's friend)

The ex-valk thing gets more insane because ShuNazu parallels IzuLeo.

When Izumi is defending Nazuna or criticising Shu in Starfes, he's really talking about himself and Leo. Leo is right beside them as it happens, and even he goes, "Wahaha Sena I'm getting hit by stray bullets here!" And wow. When you think about it, they really are similar.

Nazuna and Izumi being put on pedestals of beautiful, perfect beings that the Oddbal candidates and geniuses, Shu & Leo, put their whole energies, hopes and dreams into. Them feeling truly beautiful and worthy for the first time in their lives because of the other. Even though they've been called cute/beautiful many times before high school, and in fact joined Yumenosaki's idol course because of their cute/beautiful appearance.

Things falling apart, and Nazuna and Izumi failing to be there for their best friend of 2 years. Them consequently beating themselves up for it. Having extremely complicated feelings towards their ex-friends where they strongly resent the person and hurt each other whenever they meet. And yet beating themselves up, wishing the other well, and looking back onto their shared pasts with fondness and nostalgia.

Here, take these 3 screenshots that just make me go insane every time. First two are Nazuna POV, I think from Human Comedy and Starfes. The 3rd is Izumi's, from Lionheart.

Do you think they have crying sessions over their exes during Tennis Club whenever their juniors fail to show up? I do! !!! Here’s a fic someone wrote about this exact dynamic that made my head explode.

And then just the way IzuNazu are casually mean to each other but never in a way that the other really minds.

Their interactions in ! are genuinely so funny because Nazuna will see Izumi in the corridor and when Izumi opens his mouth, Nazuna will say as a greeting, “Wow Izumi-chin your personality is horrible as usual! anyway,"

and Izumi doesn’t even say anything back?? If it were with Knights, Izumi would definitely say excuuuuuse me I’m literally perfect? But no, here Izumi just lets Nazuna off the hook. Go be the bitchy person you are inside, Nazunyan, fly high! Izumi just keeps quiet and lets the conversation continue as if Nazuna just said hi like a normal person instead.

You have to keep in mind that in !, Nazuna was nice to everybody except Shu. Yes he's even nice to Eichi. He’s mean only to 1. Itsuki Shu (ex) or 2. Izumi-chin (bestie from club and the class next door). Eventually in !! this mean part of him becomes integrated in his main persona, but definitely not while he was in high school! Congrats Izumi-chin you're privy to this part of Nazuna before he felt confident enough to show it to everyone. Drives me insane thinking about how safe Izumi must've made Nazuna feel in order for this to happen. I think it’s sweet that even while in school, there was at least one person that Nazuna could be a bit like his real self around.

I think part of why this could happen is because Izumi is an expert at being bitchy, of course he understands and doesn't really mind. It's like breathing to him; he's not going to judge others for it! Izumi also does this with Arashi - he doesn't get shocked or judge Arashi when she's being mean and petty. But unlike with Nazuna, Izumi frequently calls her a rude brat (to her face, might I add).

I might be stretching a little here, but imo it's because he knows Arashi can take a few hits while Nazuna is just. really in the midst of desperately rebuilding himself from scratch at this point of time. Part of Nazuna's charm in his third year is how he truly overcompensated for and overemphasised his nii-chan persona. He takes offense and is incredibly offended whenever someone mistakes him for a junior. You cannot go a single conversation without him reminding you that he's a reliable Nii-chan and will look after you if you ever need help. He proceeds to trip over his words the next second and makes a fuss about it. Nazuna in his third year is clearly very insecure, and I think Izumi is really considerate about that. I think he doesn’t call Nazuna out when Nazuna acts contrary to the role model nii-chan persona because that would shatter the illusion and sense of self that Nazuna is trying to build up. And I think that consideration, of never directly pointing out how Nazuna isn't really the Role Model Nii-chan he makes himself out to be, gives Nazuna a safe space to really be his more authentic and abrasive self. Cries a fucking river.

(That said, Izumi probably doesn't speak up also because he has enough self-awareness to know that when Nazuna calls him rude, he’s just stating the truth, orz.)

Izumi's side of the friendly bullying is also hilarious because he just feels completely entitled to terrorising Nazuna’s juniors to get info out of him. In Judgement, there’s a scene where they got info on Knights Killers really quickly and like. Basically Izumi bullied Makoto until Nazuna spilled “because he’s a pushover”. He knows Nazuna will give in without retaliation, 100% success rate. He is correct. Izumi knows his friends well.

But Izumi doesn't just assume that Nazuna will be a softie all the time and Knows where the line is. He knows what will cause Nazuna to go rabid.

In Reloaded, where Tomoya and Izumi get handcuffed together by accident, Tomoya says “it’ll be embarrassing if Niichan saw us like this but I’m sure he’ll understand if we explain!” Izumi immediately replies with “NO NO HE WON’T LISTEN”. He is absolutely correct. Nazuna sets a horde of zombies on them and they only escape by leaving the country altogether.

Izumi just understands the contours of Nazuna’s unhingedness that well! He knows what will set Nazuna off and he knows how Nazuna's mind would work. They’re besties. I just think it's really sweet how Izumi knows Nazuna well enough to push him, and also when he has crossed the line.

And last but not least, we have Nazuna’s 4* FS2 story. They're just hanging out with nothing serious going on here but gnhh. Highlights:

Izumi sees Nazuna flopped over on the couch and scolds him for not sitting properly. (mom friend lol.) 

"Izumi-chin'll get mad if I tell you why I've been sitting here the past hour" "No I won't" "...I was playing games on my phone and accidentally skipped breakfast." "Of course I'd get mad about that! 😡😡"

“I’m not going to download your game.” “You can make a Mako-chin avatar with it and dress him up however you want." Izumi spends the next hour making a Makoto avatar on his new account.

Nazuna promising to tell Izumi about new items whenever Izumi is back in Japan. Nazuna enabling Izumi to externalise his Mako-chin behaviour in a way that doesn’t actually inconvenience Makochin. IzuNazu gaming buddies!!!

There’s actually also the Midnight Butlers story but I wasn’t into enstars when it was released and I can’t find anything about it now :( rip it would've been funny to see the extent to which !! era Nazuna, who has embraced his inner derangedness, is willing to hold Izumi back from harrassing Makoto. Maybe he would've enabled Izumi, within reason. idk.

In conclusion, IzuNazu besties who respect each other, both with respect to their Problems with Leo/Shu and as people they can be mean to / somewhat unhinged around without the other judging or feeling hurt. They're so unexpectedly soft and wholesome, while staying true to their naturally abrasive personalities. I love them. Thank you for reading this longass essay! Please consider them venting and crying during tennis club and just generally being mean to each other.

[mermaidsirennikita]

omg idk how far along u are in the crown so pls feel free to answer this later but the press was droning ONNNNN about how both charles and diana r portrayed as equally to blame and i dont think that’s particularly true? 😭 yes i believe diana was given a much more complex character than shes usually afforded in biopic adjacent media (i actually gasped when they let her be as charismatic as we’re often told she was irl) but that doesnt mean it was a negative portrayal? even in her more “selfish” moments, and this might just be me being biased lol, but i was fully on her side. its almost like people dont think diana can be sympathetic if she actually fights back against the the system and the people that have trapped her 😭 this all being said i think charles’ portrayal was tooo positive…. but i dont expect less from PM

Lol the press is ridiculous.

The thing is that there absolutely are people who want to put Diana up on a pedestal as this poor little girl lost who had the best of intentions but was fragile and craaaazy and only acted out because other people (not the Windsors) manipulated her poor, silly self. That is what the Windsors are putting out there. That is what the press is playing into. Fuck, that's what William put out there. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that Martin Bashir acted entirely ethically; but frankly, if it hadn't been him, Diana would've eventually said that shit to someone else (and she PRETTY MUCH DID to Andrew Morton, lmao). She was spitting mad.

And the thing is? She had a right to be. Diana was seduced into a horrible marriage with a man 12 years her senior as a literal teenager. She had two kids with the man, was continuously gaslit by him, his mistress, his entirely family, most of their social circle... She wasn't perfect, and she had mental health issues that would've likely existed without Charles, but lmao. The woman was emotionally abused by those people for like... her entire marriage. Which covered most of her adulthood. She had a right to be angry.

If you think that her reacting and acting badly in turn is like... less sympathetic, you just have a very black and white view of the world. Someone can be very kind to those in need and have a mean streak towards people they clash with. Someone can be serious about charity work and enjoy the attention. All of these things can be true, and these things all existing in one person doesn't mean they're suddenly shitty lmao. You have to evaluate people (and their behaviors) as individuals.

Idk, to me Diana being selfish at points makes me more sympathetic to her than I would be if she were just a long-suffering angel. She was a fucking human being. She was very loving to her children (and most children), she was incredibly charismatic, she genuinely cared about serious issues and did what she could to bring attention to them... She also had a partygirl streak (lmao the company she kept--Elton John, George Michael, Gianni Versace, COME ON SHEEPLE), could be self-absorbed and catty, and was very needy. She was super genuinely hurt by these people, and knew how to play her audience like a fiddle. All of this... can be true. I think she was, at heart, a good but complicated person. And I appreciate that. That's why I am so fascinated by her--she's this goddess figure in the press, but when you research her she's deeply relatable. I loved that they brought shit up like her calling her stepmother Acid Raine. Anyone who's had a shitty stepmom can relate to that.

[portaltothevoid]

For Whom the Bell Tolls - Chapter 21 - A Forest

Pairing: Eddie Munson x OFC (Kat Ramsay), sequel to Foolin’

Summary: Eddie and Steve have a heart to heart on the way to Nancy’s. The group faces a new threat.

Warnings: None that I can think of?

Word count: 1.8k

Chapter song: A Forest by The Cure

Tag list: @munchabunch​ @madaboutmunson​​ @earl-greater

Thunderstorms were usually comforting. The low rumbles or sudden cracks, the lightning that would fork across the sky or illuminate everything in this almost lavender glow. Here though? In this other world? In the Upside Down? It did nothing, but caused an uneasy feeling to settle around Kat. It was constant.

Everything was muted and abysmal. These snowflakes, or whatever they were, constantly floating through the air like ash from nuclear fallout. Blood red skies above only glowing a deeper red which each flash of lightning in the clouds overhead. Robin and Nancy had wandered ahead, set on a path of determination. Eddie and Steve had fallen to the back of the pack, while Kat just kept to herself. Her arms crossed, she tried to keep pulling them as close to her body as she could in order to self-soothe.  

She knew the others couldn’t pick up on what she was feeling, and while she wasn’t sure how, she knew they were being watched. Not just her, every single one of them walking through that forest. The vines acted like feelers or warning signals. That wasn’t what was keeping an eye on them, keeping track of them. It was something else entirely. 

With each step forward the only thing Kat could focus on was her breathing. She hated how scared she felt. She had lost years of her life training for something like this. There was a time when she would have immediately gone on the hunt for Vecna and taken her shot at him. This time, in her current state, she felt like nothing more than a coward. Terrified of what lies beyond the next corner, scared of what could be lurking in the trees surrounding them, frightened at the thought that not everyone would make it out of this ordeal alive. She was the one with the power. Her responsibility was to save those around her. Given the track record of Vecna: 3 and Kat: 0, her confidence was definitely waning. 

The feeling in the pit of her stomach felt like the moment before you dropped on a roller coaster, only it was constant. She didn’t even feel the dampness of her clothes, but instead was weighed down by dread. Her feet kept following the girls in front of her. Always having them in her sight reminded her to just move forward, because if she didn’t, she was ten seconds to spiraling.

Steve breaking the silence to talk with Eddie helped Kat to focus on something else besides the doom and gloom that was encapsulating her.

“Eddie. Hey, man, uh… Listen, I just, uh…” he sputtered. “I just want to say thanks for saving my ass back there.”

“Shit. You saved your own ass, man. I mean, that was a real Ozzy move you pulled back there,” Eddie said sincerely. Kat couldn’t help, but crack a small smile at Eddie’s reference. Meanwhile, he was shocked at Steve’s gratitude. These past few days have been shocking for him. The people that Hawkins had put on a pedestal, like Chrissy, like Steve, were turning out to be quite the opposite from their supposed “popular” stereotypes.

“Ozzy?” Steve asked, clearly not knowing what Eddie was referring to.

“When you took a bite out of that bat,” Eddie paused when he was met with a blank look from Steve. “Ozzy Osbourne? Black Sabbath? He bit a bat’s head off on stage.”

“I don’t–”

“You know?”

“No.”

“Doesn’t  matter. It was very metal, what you did. That’s all I’m saying.”

“Thanks,” Steve said, unsure of how to take this compliment from Eddie ‘the freak’ Munson.

“Henderson told me you were a badass. Insisted on the matter, in fact.”

“Wait, Henderson said that?” Steve clarified, surprised now by this sudden confession.

“Oh, yeah. Shit. Kid worships you, dude. Like, you have no idea. It’s kinda annoying, to be honest. I don’t even know why I care what that little shrimp thinks, but, uh, guess I just got a little jealous, Steve. I guess I couldn’t accept the fact that Steve Harrington was actually… a good dude.” 

The words just came spilling out of Eddie and once he started, it was like he couldn’t stop. His words were nothing, but true. Henderson was one of his favorites in Hellfire Club. As soon as he spotted him, he saw a bit of himself in the kid, especially his brazen “I am who I am” attitude. Eddie never had a sibling. Hell, he barely had anyone to look up to when he was Dustin’s age. The only person he had to figure things out with was himself and as his reputation precedes him, he didn’t make a lot of good choices. If even just for a year, he could guide Dustin to stay true to himself, that’s what he was gonna do. He wanted to be that older brother figure for his younger friend, but with how much Dustin admired Steve, he always felt as if he was in Steve’s shadow. Steve’s comments and being there for Kat when he wasn’t, like at her birthday, ate him up inside. Not that he would ever show it. 

Jealousy always finds a way to creep in and make itself at home. Steve was the one with the leg up in the world while Eddie had to fight and claw his way for everything he had. He was sick of fighting, of feeling weak. So whenever he could, he was always jab back at Steve. And yet, over these past few days, he was able to see a kinder side to his unofficial archenemy. Steve was with Dustin the whole time helping and making sure not only Kat was safe, but him too. He wanted to protect him and clear his name as much as anyone in that group. The kindness and at some points selflessness, Eddie could do nothing, but respect that.

“Rich parents, popular, chicks love him. Not a douche?” Eddie continued. “No way, man. No way. That, like, flies in the face of all the laws in the universe and my own personal Munson doctrine,” he said as he put his hands over his heart. “And not to mention how you were there to help her,” he dropped his voice to a whisper and nodded in front of him to Kat, “with that whole birthday fiasco…”

Steve wasn’t all that used to compliments outside of his looks, so his only response was to bashfully crook his mouth up into a half smile. This awkward air fell over them and Eddie, trying to diffuse it, leaned in, invading Steve’s space a bit, as he said “Still super jealous as hell, by the way,” causing them both to snicker at the admission. “Which is why I never would have jumped in that lake to save your ass. Not under any… uh, normal circumstances.”

Suddenly a branch snapped. Everyone froze. Steve shone his flashlight in the direction of the sound. No one could see anything, but a distant growling could be heard. Kat slowly turned her head in the direction of the sound. Her hand instantly flew up to the back of her neck, feeling it covered in goosebumps. Whatever was watching them, was making itself known. She waited for Steve and Eddie to be a few steps behind her before she continued forward.

“Nope. Outside of D&D, I am no hero. I see danger and I just turn heel and run. Or at least that’s what I’ve learned about myself this week.” Flickers of shame tugged at Eddie’s voice. Kat frowned hearing him say that, knowing how he had saved her countless times. At this point, she couldn’t really help but share his sentiments with her own self-doubt.

“Give yourself a break, man,” Steve said as he slapped his hand across Eddie’s chest.

“See?” Eddie held up a hand to stop Steve. Kat slowly walked forward knowing they had stopped, but wanted to see where this was going. “The only reason I came in here was ‘cause those ladies came in straight after you. Even Kat. Granted I would have followed her anyway, but she’s not close to you like the other two. And yet, immediately she was taking off her jacket to dive in to rescue you, or some shit. Me? I was too ashamed to be the one who stayed behind. But Wheeler, right there, she didn’t waste a second. Not one second. She just dove right in. Now, I don’t know what happened between you two, but if I were you, I would get her back. ‘Cause that was as unambiguous a sign of true love as these cynical eyes have ever seen.” 

Steve processed what Eddie was telling him as he stared longly at Nancy as she carried on in front of him.

“He’s right, you know,” Kat chimed in, unable to resist any longer as she walked back towards them. “And I, for one, am speaking from experience. If this cynical guy, here…” she said tapping on his chest and cocking her head at Steve, “If anything were to ever happen to him? I’d send whoever hurt him into another alternate dimension. And you can’t tell me Nancy wouldn’t at least try to do the same for you.”

Eddie beamed down at Kat who returned the loving smile. Steve sighed and as he opened his mouth to say something, a loud snapping sound was heard from the woods. Closer than the first one they heard. Steve immediately shut his mouth, but opened it again to say “Wh-what was that?” as he shone his flashlight around their perimeter. 

“Robin. Nancy. Stop,” Kat commanded.

A low growling sound came from behind them. Kat put her hands out, herding the group behind her, shielding them. The hairs on the back of her neck were standing straight up. She knew whatever was watching them, whatever was following them, was only a few seconds away from making its move.

When I tell you guys to run, fucking run. No matter what. Just nod slowly if you understand. Kat said to the group using her telepathy. Everyone nodded, their eyes wide at what she was able to do. Everyone that is, except Eddie. Eddie, we don’t fucking have time for this. If I say run, you run. Reluctantly, he nodded once. Not that he was actually going to obey her. There’s no way he’d leave her to fend for herself. No way.

Quickly, an image of a house appeared in Kat’s mind. She could feel nothing but Nancy’s presence surrounding the image. Run to Nancy’s house. Don’t look back. She instructed and then turned her attention briefly towards Eddie, gaining his attention. I will meet you there.

The growling grew louder, then a sound like someone obnoxiously licking their lips was heard from behind the trees. Branches and dead leaves crunched under this thing’s feet. And then, it moved into full view. It was crouched on all fours. Its head opened like a flower, revealing trails of spit and rows upon rows of sharp teeth. A couple of the creature’s friends decided to join the soirée, popping out from behind nearby trees. Flanking at its heels. The supposed leader let out an ear piercing roar that was aimed directly at Kat.

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[boricuacherry-blog]

I been a soldier on every label, one of the most loyal in every squad. That's one thing I can proudly boast about. I'm one of them ones. So where's the reciprocation? How do you award your soldiers for holding shit down, gracefully? I do feel like I deserve a conversation and accountability to be taken. But maybe that time that you shitted on me, you were really going through some shit. But I wanna know that, so I can take accountability as well and say, 'Ok cool, maybe I should have handled that differently.' One thing I don't run from is accountability. I'm prideless, I'm egoless, when it comes to people that I love. And that's why I think it's so hurtful - it's like, give me compassion, give me the things that I need... before we move forward let's acknowledge these things happened. You know? But also, sometimes, you have to be willing to accept the apologies you've never gotten. I still have a great relationship with God. I choose to hold onto the positive, but people often mistake [resilience] to mean you're not struggling.

As a 15 year old [signed to Pharrell's label], I didn't feel protected, and I put him on such a high pedestal because I didn't have a dad. My mom, though, always told me to be grounded and be thankful for people that are blessings, so for me, it doesn't matter that I was hurt because since becoming a mom, I've learned patience and grace. Knowing him as well as I do, it couldn't have been a thing he did on purpose. He didn't purposely not protect me. You know? That 15 year old girl just needed you to fight a little harder. I needed him to maybe push - even if he didn't have the strength to - I just needed him to push for me. So with that being my first experience and then life repeatedly dealing me rejection..

That's why now I fight - I fight for every role, I fight for every blessing, I fight because I haven't had people to do it for me.

-Teyana Taylor