#i think im just so torned up over it because the last talks we had they just kept bringing up that i never said anything when i had promise

[tabbytiger]

.

[billluver0124]

"you think im gonna stop?"

synopsis: bill whos worried sick finds y/n in an alleyway, on yet another bender. bill tries to help her change her ways, but will y/n ever really stop drinking? WARNINGS: heavy alcohol use, cursing, angst themes

No one really knows how it started to bloom, but y/n had a very unhealthy drinking habit. you could always spot her with an alcoholic drink in her hand, almost as if she was a magnet for alcohol. Everytime she drank she would go on a bender that would last days, weeks, one time it was a month. she had to be hospitalized that time. but even after that, she never stopped drinking. normally after people got tired of her behavior they would leave her life, but bill was different, he always stayed and took care of her.

Y/n and bill have known each other since middle school, she defended him a lot when it came to the bullying he went through in school. he was always grateful for that. them two as a duo were inseparable, stuck together like glue. it pained him to see her like this now, especially since this was a very close friend of his. Y/n was now on yet another bender, but this time it was different. normally you would catch her at a nearby bar or outside of it if the staff kicked her out. but she wasnt there. bill drove around to every bar she was a regular at, and she was nowhere to be found. where could she possibly have gone? bill thought to himself as he was growing more worried by the second. he searched all over town, for sure knowing that she couldnt have gone that far. but its been three days, anything is possible at this point.

Just as he was about to call it a night, he finds her asleep in a nearby alleyway. her clothes torn and her shirt barely on her torso. but luckily she had a carhartt jacket to keep her warm. her skin was so pale, her eye bags were so dark and she reeked of whiskey, and conveniently enough there was an empty bottle of jack daniels in her hand. she looked terrible.

"y/n get up.." bill shakes her awake, she wakes up confused. "where am i?" bill doesnt answer her, he helps her up and takes her to his car. helping her into the passenger seat and hopping in the driver's seat, continuing the drive home. As they were driving, y/n spots a bar. "can you stop at the bar? i wanna go get a drink please" the effects of the alcohol from yesterday havent even faded yet, how could she possibly want another drink? "absolutely not." bill said, his tone serious. "awh c'mon billy.." she whined drunkenly, "youre not even sober right now" "im sober enough to want another drink" y/n rolled her eyes, digging into her pocket to find three mini shot bottles in there. she smiled as she opens one and downs the entire shot. bill looking over and noticing "are you serious y/n?" bill snatches the other two bottles, throwing them out of his car side window. "what the hell bill?! i was gonna drink those!" she yelled, slurring every word "thats exactly why i threw them" he replied.

they finally reached his house, bill gets out to go help y/n inside. they get inside, bill taking her shoes off and hanging her jacket. he takes her to his couch and sits her down, sitting on the coffee table right in front of her. "we need to talk" he says, y/n not even replying. she just glared at him as he continued speaking. "im worried about you, you cant just go on these crazy benders because you feel like it y/n" he speaks, holding her hands in his to try and get her to listen. "im a grown ass woman bill, im fucking 27 years old. if i want a drink i can drink." she said bluntly, her tone was calm but she sounded like she wanted to yell at him. "this isnt just a drink y/n, this is unhealthy!" bill snapped, getting up from where he was sitting "you can and will die from this if you keep drinking for fucks sake!" he yelled, tears prickling his eyes. y/n scoffed at him, bill takes a breath attempting to calm himself "i care about you y/n, ive been the one to take care of you everytime you go on a bender. you are my best friend, youve been with me since middle school..." bill voice begins to crack "d-dont i mean something to you..?" he asked, tears spilling out of his eyes.

"you think youre special or something?" she replied, "w-what?" he asked, clearly confused by her question. "you think im gonna stop for you? just because you chose to stay doesnt mean that im just gonna quit for you." she spoke harshly, each word felt like a shatter in bills heart.

y/n gets up from the couch "y/n-" "what? you willingly chose to stay in my life bill, you have the right to leave. i didnt beg for anyone else to stay and i wont fucking beg for you either." bill grabs her wrist "please y/n, i just want you to be okay" y/n snatches his hand from her wrist "no fuck that" she said, walking over to grab her stuff "im outta here, see you around bill" she slams the door as she left, the sound of the door triggering bills tears. he flops on the couch, face in his hands as he cried. he cared so much about y/n, he knew the words she said she didnt mean; but oh god were they so painful to hear. he didnt want to see her asleep in an alleyway again. or worse, dead in a casket. bill just wanted y/n to be like the way she used to be; smiley, bubbly, kind, beautiful. she was still beautiful but now she was also mean and vile. what happened to the y/n bill once knew? will she ever come back or is she just...gone?

authors note!! omg two stories in one night? woah crazy! anyways, i enjoyed making this one and i hope you guys enjoy it too>.< love you guys<33

[hils79]

Hils Watches Lovely Runner - Ep 11

Had a few days off from watching anything while I attended the Up All Night asian drama convention. Ironically I talked a bit about this drama on a panel about time travel in dramas, even though I haven't actually finished it yet 😅

Anyway, now I'm ready to resume. I think I can more or less remember how the last episode ended...

What does renting an adult movie have to do with him kissing his girlfriend in public? Is that frowned upon in Korea?

Sunjae has just found out that Im Sol is from the future, and in that future he dies when he's barely into his 30s. All he is concerned about is that Im Sol's mother saw him kissing a girl on the street and might not like him now.

God, I have missed these idiots.

Sunjae doesn't know how he dies but what he does know is that there's no way it could possibly be Im Sol's fault

Oh shit I totally forgot Sunjae's dad currently thinks he's on a plane to the US. This is not going to go well when he finds out...

He is so gone for her. I love him.

Oh, yeah, he missed the audition for the band so he's no longer on the path to becoming an idol now. That means no expensive skincare products for free because looking good is your job

Oh my god all his stuff is on a plane to the US even if he isn't

Hehe! Well, at least the reveal was mostly comedic

Wait, I thought she didn't want him to become an idol to keep him safe

Oh no are we going to end up with another totally different version of the future where Sunjae isn't an idol and her brother and bestie don't end up married.

And now a bag full of condoms intended as a joke wedding gift has ended up in Sunjae's bag by mistake. I'm glad we've eased up on the angst for a bit to do some more lighthearted nonsense

Oh my god he bought them matching phone charms. He is such a loser (affectionate)

I know something terrible is going to happen soon. They're all happy and in love and there's still another 5 episodes to go. I'm glad they get this for a little bit at least.

I am getting so much secondhand embarassment from this whole scene, but also I can't stop laughing. IT'S RAINING CONDOMS 🤣

I am crying I'm laughing so hard. Two star-crossed lovers torn apart by a shower of condoms

He just went into his mind palace to figure out how the condoms got into his bag. This might be my favourite episode so far, as much as I'm enjoying all the time travel and the angst.

I love that grandma is heading up this whole intervention

Well, after that delightful little subplot we are now back to the serial killer who may or may not end up killing Sunjae

Did his dad really get him to go and update Im Sol on the case and tell her that she's in danger. THAT IS LITERALLY THE JOB OF THE POLICE NOT THE FASHION HOUSE SON OF A DETECTIVE. The cops in this really do suck even by k-drama standards.

He is honestly the most sensible character in this whole drama

Uh...you haven't even tried though? The first time he got you it's because you went outside to stop Sunjae getting rained on in the park. Take Sunjae and find a cabin in the woods or something. Or go to America with him.

Okay, dude, you need to dial that back a bit

Taesung is like 'we spent the night together we're bros now'

Aww now they're both drunk and pouring their hearts out to each other

Well if they were buddies after Taesung slept on Sunjae's couch I don't know what snuggling in the same bed like this makes them

Ooh is Sunjae going to sing at their last gig and get back on the idol path?

Ooh they caught him! Except there's still another 5 episodes to go so clearly it's not over yet

Aww there we go he's back on stage

Oh sweetie...

Yep, there we go. Of course he escaped.

But, hey, we got through a whole episode without the sad Jongho song playing even once.

[stevethehairington]

okay so. overall review:

actually not as bad as i expected it to be! and not as bad as i thought it was going to turn out while i was in the trenches there lol. i still wished it focused a little more on eddie's home life/relationship with his dad and uncle AND his friends, and had way less of the romance stuff (read: none), BUT i will admit that there ended up being a lot less of the romance stuff than i initially expected and a lot less than it seemed like there would be while still in the middle of the book.

the paige stuff still made me uncomfy bc i didn't like the power dynamics there (paige had something eddie wanted desperately, and i don't like the idea that that could have had something to do with his "feelings" for her/why he engaged with them ((esp bc let's be real — he didn't seem super torn up over not getting to be with her in the end)) or that she used that to her advantage bc there was ALSO something in it for her) BUT i will say they did make it slightly less skeezy than i expected bc she was only a couple years older than him instead of like. significantly older like i expected.

i do wish there was more about eddie's friends and their fallout and reconciliation. his friends were super important to him and he just. dropped them. like that. and there was BARELY any blowback. like yeah there was a fight with ronnie, but we never actually got to see the reactions of any of the other hellfire/corroded coffin guys, and i would've liked to see that. same with the reconciliation, it felt very minimal — i would've liked to see more of how that played out too.

I LOVED EVERY SINGLE GODDAMN SECOND OF WAYNE MUNSON CONTENT, THAT MAN IS A GIFT HE IS AN ANGEL I ADORE HIM WITH EVERYTHING IN ME. IF THERE IS ONE THING THIS BOOK HAS DONE IT HAS SOLIDIFIED MY STANCE THAT WAYNE MUNSON IS THE BEST GOD DAMN CHARACTER AND I WOULD DIE FOR HIM.

as for eddie — i think the author did an alright job finding his voice. there were times where i thought she really nailed it, but there were also A LOT of times where i thought "he would never say that!!" "he would never do that!!". it wasn't very consistent, but overall it wasn't awful and there were some good parts!

the other characters we know and love that made cameos — VERY fun to see them (gareth, chrissy, jason, hopper, will, jonathan!!!) gareth was ESPECIALLY fun to see because they really embraced that feral chihuahua boy energy we love to assign to him. BUT. i am SO incredibly upset with how badly they massacred my boy tommy h (whOSE LAST NAME THEY COULDNT EVEN GET RIGHT I MEAN W H A T!?) they fucking. got his characterization SO BAD. it was awful. i am. personally offended by it (joking, mostly rhsjsi). (as a tommy lover i am. devastated tho. HE WOULD NOT DO THAT!!!)

OH ALSO — reefer rick. WHAT a fun dude. hes out here in his robe and bunny slippers drinking darjeeling tea, living it up. what a guy.

id like to give a huge FUCK YOU to principal higgins too! they made that dude a straight up MONSTER. he was unnecessarily CRUEL and some of the things he said straight up to eddies face,,,,,,, sir what the FUCK. i know the 80s was a different time but jesus fucking cHRIST was casual cruelty and bullying from grown ass ADULTS commonplace? i sure hope not.

ALSO FUCK AL MUNSON LIVES ALL MY HOMIES HATE AL MUNSON LIVES. that man was AWFUL, TRULY HONESTLY GENUINELY THE WORST. neglectful and cruel and downright AWFUL. NOT ONLY DID HE CONSISTENTLY ABANDON EDDIE THROUGHOUT HIS LIFE BUT THEN HE DREW EDDIE INTO HIS SCHEMES, CONNED HIM, FUCKED UP REAL BIG, AND THEN LEFT EDDIE IN THE ASHES OF THEIR — OF HIS — HOME AS THE ONLY PERSON LEFT WITH THE COP WHO GOT SHOT AND IS LIKE SLOWLY BLEEDING OUT. TALK ABOUT FUCKING TRAUMA WHAT THE FUCK. i hope he got flayed ALIVE by charlie greene lmao it would serve him right that absolute twat waffle.

also, im gonna be real. the end of that book was actually INSANELY depressing. like, it tried to be positive because you gotta end on a positive note right? but it just fell. COMPLETELY flat. bc we all know what happens to eddie in canon. he's sitting there reenrolling in school, peacoking around about how he's GOING to finish high school and he's GOING to graduate and he's GOING to show principal higgins that he CAN do it and that he ISNT the fuckup deliquent he's convinced he is. BUT WE ALL KNOW HE DOESNT FUCKING GET THAT IN CANON. he's taking waynes advice and fully embracing who he is and he's learning to be comfortable in his own skin and to rise above all the noise of people who don't like him and think he's a freak. ONLY WE KNOW HE NEVER TRULY GETS TO DO THAT EITHER BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW HOW IT ENDS IN CANON. so yeah it just ends up being a REALLY fucking BLEAK ending because all of that "positivity" is absolutely tainted. it's fucking soured. and i am once again INSANELY INFURIATED about eddies death. so fuck the duffers, again.

also, eddie munson literally never caught a fucking break. not one fucking break. his ENTIRE life was just one series of tragedies after the other and it truly just continued on that way until he fucking died. honestly, its a goddamn MIRACLE that he has ANY ounce of positivity and optimism and hope left in his life when we get to him in s4. thatd how utter dogshit a hand he has been dealt in life. and it only.got worse from there. and i will NEVER forgive ANYONE involved in his creation for that.

so yeah! that concludes my journey reading flight of icarus. it was a wild ride lol.

[cupoftaae]

Can you please do prompts 5 and 12 for Yoongi? Thank you in advance!

Hi lovie! sorry for getting to this a tad bit late! I hope you enjoy -nini

-"well..yell, scream, say something, say you hate me, anything"

-"i'll wait for you"

x YOONGI

warnings- swearing, cheating, angst, breakup :(

You and yoongi sat in the small booth of your favorite cafe, it was right in the corner and provided the right amount of privacy and great window viewing.

You both had your first date here in this booth when you had met in college, you were both freshman- he saw you and knew he had to have you in any way he could.

So- like any reasonable man, he offered to take you to get coffee and a bagel, and because yoongi is yoongi, you couldnt say no.

A few months later, he asked you to be his girlfriend in that booth, and not too long after that, you both kissed for the first time in that booth.

The torn seating, the uneven table, it wasnt much but to a young couple it symbolized a growing relationship. You had cried, laughed, had small arguments, ate, flirted, you name it- it was all here, in this seat with him.

Today, though, 5 years later, the coffee and bagel meeting was under different circumstances.

It all started with a "I think we need to talk"

You had never expected to hear what you heard come out of yoongis mouth.

"I hooked up with Jen"

You remained still, slowly putting your coffee down as you looked back, your eyes trying to decipher whether he was joking around or not- but the way his gaze stuck to his lap told you everything you needed to know.

He began to speak again, "Im sorr-"

"when was this?" your voice was calm, and steady

He looked up at you, "last weekend"

You nodded, "so...when you went over to jungkook and tae's apartment?"

He slowly nodded

"you told me you guys had work to do"

"we were- we had been working but then jungkooks girlfriend came over and brought jen because they are friends....we all drank....it was a mess....I was leaving, drunk, and jen was there and it just...happened"

His words were choppy as he anxiously picked at his bagel, a slight panic in his eyes once he gained courage to look up at you

Instead of finding anger, he was met with a neutral expression, as if he hadnt done anything at all. To be honest, this scared him more.

You slowly took a breath. You were expecting this, deep down hoping it would never happen, but the men in your life had a way of proving you wrong and failing you at any chance they got- so were you hurt? a bit, but shocked? fuck no.

You nod, feeling your heart twist in pain as you allowed yourself to think for a moment. You simply look up at him and offer a small smile before grabbing your coat and turning to stand up.

"w-wait!" he stood up as well "where are you going?"

You looked up to him, small smile still evident, "well, yoongi, I dont see why i need to be sitting here. Why drag this out?"

His eyes widened "so-...youre breaking up with me?" he whispers, fearful, as his hand still is holding your arm, knowing if he lets go- you leave.

You shrug, trying your best to keep your emotions in. "what else am i supposed to do?"

He rapidly shook his head "well...yell, scream, say something, say you hate me, anything!"

His voice was panicked

"yoongi..." you softly began, "you brought me out for lunch today....to our spot, to tell me you cheated-"

"it was an accident!"

"that you told me a week after it happened. if you cared I would have been made aware of it right away, or....you know...not have had it happen at all."

He breathes heavily, looking around at the semi empty cafe before eyes turning to you again

"it wasnt anything, it didnt mean anything, baby please-"

"people who love eachother dont hook up with other people, even when they are drunk, yoongi. You are telling me this to clear your guilty conscious, not because you are sorry"

"no baby..please..please no ... no" he tears up and grasps your coat, but you only yank away.

"goodbye yoongi"

"Y/N stop, please"

You look at him for a moment as he tries to collect himself,

"its...its ok...be angry, ill wait for you" he sighs

You shake your head, confused. "yoongi...this isnt about waiting. I am not gonna be cheated on, this hurts me....a lot. And I need to be......away from you."

His heart sunk to his stomach as he watched you turn to leave, regretting not running after you. Was it over just like this?

A small little booth, once filled with a budding romance is now just a signifier of what only crashed and burned...hard.

[suffrin]

Ok i made a promise. Let me try to explain the siffrin knife dream. It will not be eloquent in the slightest but i hope you enjoy the reveal ANYWAY.

So, for waking world context, we had finished the prologue, we'd just started isat, heading into act 2 I believe? The crush on siffrin? Ridiculous. They are taking up our every thought.

So... before bed we were thinking about him and his dagger. How cool it is how cool HE is, etc. Which devolved into 'I need him to stab me as friends.' Etc. This must have been the last thing we thought about before finally falling asleep.

Ok, context over. Dream time. I (referred to as kane in the dream. This is not like some sort of isat persona its just a name i use in certain circles?? So i guess my mind was like oh thats vaguely French, good enough.) Was?? Not frozen in time and for some reason had a key in the house that siffrin really needed to progress. So he said to his party he'd go in the room alone?? To go get it???? Anyway so he comes in and hes like 'I'm siffrin and I really need that key." And for some reason i already know them. Which makes enough sense i GUESS. And I'm like, albeit jokingly 'Oh, I know you do , you can have it, but what's in it for me?' And sif is like in it for you? Oh- right. I'll do anything to get that key, name your price.

So i decide im Not joking actually since he seems to be serious. And so im like 'well im not much for materialistic things..' (not true i love item but dream me is down bad) and siffrin is like oh okay what do you want me to do for you, then? And im tossing the key up anf down absently looking all sad like 'well, siffrin if I'm honest I'm real lonely' he responds 'how lonely?' I say 'desperately' and I tell them that this little interaction is the most human contact I've had in a while. Its obvious I'm prolonging it, speaking slowly. We talk a bit about how lonely I feel, he asks me questions about it and then i think i guilted him by say something like 'this key is all I have, it's been my only company' then i ask them if theyll give me just a little bit of their time in exchange for the key. And he feels bad. He asks me how long i need him for, i tell him not long at all. He stands a little closer to me but still not at all within proximity and asks me 'how close?' I explain to them honestly that its up to them and theres no Too Close for me. They nod and come closer, standing behind me, resting their chin on my shoulder and im pretty sure i almost cry . I tell him he feel comfortable. They hold me closer. They're torn because they need that stupid key, so theyre catching glances at it as i tightly grip their cloak, actually crying now from how touch starved i am. I feel guilty for keeping them, but i cant seem to stop myself. I tell him I'm surprised they didn't just come beat me up and take it, commenting by staring pointedly at the knife on their hip that they 'really could have.' They tease and agree that im not wrong. It's obvious he's conflicted now, his own hands shaky as they hold me. And then I say some freak shit out of vulnerability. 'I should let you. Maybe a knife wound would help me remember you better, give me something to think about when I'm alone again.' I cant really stop the words from coming out as I hug them tighter, eyes full of tears. Theyre taken aback, but they dont quite say no. They pull away a bit and look at me wide eyed since my words sound so sincere. 'You don't really mean that, do you?' I double down, nodding into him through my sobs, stammering out red faced 'I think I do.. will you put it somewhere nice?' . 'Where's...' He swallows thickly . 'Somewhere nice?'. I think for a moment. His response makes it seem like he's actually going to honor my request. I shake in their arms as I consider their question. 'On my thigh maybe, somewhere i can look right down and see it when I'm back to being alone.' They get a little nervous. I'm serious. 'Y-Your thigh?' We talk about the logistics for a minute, how it's a safe spot so they don't have to worry, how it doesn't need to be deep, just enough to scar, etc. Once we go over it, he asks me what happens after. I tell him he gets his key and then he can forget about me, but i don't have to forget about them, I'll have a 'permanent reminder.' I'm shaking in their arms. Their body is in no way still either. They confirm I really want this,they get all sorts of caught up internally by the fact id take a knife for them despite us talking once. i deflect by saying I bet he looks really cool when he stabs someone. 'Do i??" They ask, a bit taken aback by my random compliment (?). 'mark me and i can find out' i whisper a Bit too desperately. They make me again confirm I want this to happen, I tell them i don't think I've ever wanted anything more. Minds made up, we part enough for them to reach for their knife. I shudder, wondering if I'm really getting what I want as I glimpse at it. He takes it out , holds it in front of me. I say 'it's pretty' and that it 'figures' and i tell him i have no reservations. He blushes a bit. About the knife being pretty, follow up with 'not as much as you , if you're curious.' as I eye up the knife. I take a breath. 'Should I sit down?'

Continued in rb since i guess theres a word limit? Found that out because it deleted all of part 2! Cool. I hope my followers who have been wondering about the knife dream are patient!

[wilsons-striped-ties]

november tc challenge (days 1-30 one shot)

by @faszaakisshobbi

1. what does your tc teach & do they teach you?

history and yeah, from year three to four

2. if you could pick their outfit for the day what would it be?

okay he always wears the same things but i have an attachment to his dark blue dress shirt and dark grey pants sooooo

3. what’s their personality like? ( eg. are they loud or quiet? enthusiastic or fairly reserved? )

he's quiet but able to socialize, and hes really thoughtful and sweet and really enthusiastic in a gentle way when hes passionate

4. are they married? got any kids?

married with three kids :'

5. what’s your favourite memory with them?

im always torn between most of our memories together but i think when i gave him his cupcakes, or maybe during teachers day when we were walking together down to the canteen, we were talking about a rather depressing topic of my college LMAO but it was really nice talking to him in a softer situation, seeing the gentleness in his eyes, it was really comforting talking to him again

6. what was your first impression of them?

that he was scary looking LMAO

7. what’s your favourite thing about them (physically or personality wise)

physically, his dimples or his eyes. personality, his thoughtfulness or his memory, hes always remembering things about me and its really nice because almost no one does that

8. do you have a song that you associate with them? if so, what is it?

maybe secret love song by little mix or dandelions by ruth b, but fundamentally hes super lana coded but i do have a really complicated attachment to him and yellow by coldplay so there's that

9. have you ever had an argument with them? if so, what about?

phew nope

10. are you attracted to them romantically? or platonically?

i think a mix between platonic and romantic, its like a silly crush but still i am deeply attached to him emotionally

11. if they kissed you (and it wasn’t illegal) what would you do?

i would just short circuit

12. do you think they know about your crush?

i dont know, but ive made my favoritism towards him very obvious HAHHA

13. what would be your ideal date with them?

walking around with him and just talking about anything and everything, holding hands and maybe going to a museum with him too

14. do you have any inside jokes? if you feel comfortable sharing, what are they?

nope unfortunately :' but now we do talk about the day i gave him passion fruit cupcakes for his birthday HAHAHA

15. how often do you see them?

almost every time i go back to my high school

16. have you ever cried over your tc? if so, why?

thankfully not with him

17. what did they do their degree in? is it the subject they teach now?

I HAVE NO IDEA but i am dying to know what his degree is

18. do they do any sport? if so, what?

he does play soccer quite well and he runs too, but im not sure how often, he is a huge soccer fan though. he did say he'd drop by to the table tennis club and play with me one day if he's free, but that was last year during my table tennis finals competition so i doubt he remembers but oh wellsss :'

19. what do you think they do in their spare time?

i think he would spend time with his family, he looks like he reads too

20. do you have any photos with them? if so, how did you get them?

YASS i have like at least six and i just ask him for them HAHHA he always gives in to me :'

21. do you plan on staying in contact after you leave?

yess we are still staying in contact-ish? im still going back to my high school and seeing him around and talking to him!

22. what’s your favourite scenario you’ve made up in your head about them?

us just talking about life and holding hands, i dont know why but im really obsessed with holding his hand, it just seems so comforting to me???

23. have you ever seen them outside of school?

NO BUT I WANT TO

24. does anyone else know about your crush? who?

like my sister teases me about it, my junior is done with my bs and that's probably about it? almost everyone knows i favour him but they dont know my obsession i guess

25. what animal do they remind you of?

i used to think a tiger but then i decided agaisnt it and im thinking a mix between a wolf and a fox

26. do you know when their birthday is? would you get them a gift?

YESSS i baked passion fruit cupcakes for him!!

27. how did you realise you were in love with them? was it love at first sight? or gradual?

i think ive always been in love with him, my heart knew but my brain took a regretfully long time to catch up, mistaking it for just curiosity :'

28. do they drink / smoke that you know of?

he probably drinks, probably doesnt smoke but it would be hot if he did both AHAHHAH but oh wells

29. if you could reenact a movie scene with them (from any movie!) what would it be? which character would you be and which would they be?

my brain just popped the proposal into my head, the part where andrew says "marry me, because i'd like to date you" and as a kid it was the most romantic thing ive ever seen or heard but i dont know, i'd love to do a ballroom dancing scene with him, or maybe something from lalaland, he feels like a lalaland coded person I DONT KNOW

30. what’s the weirdest dream you’ve ever had about them?

i have no idea actually, i dont often dream of him

[sareinadale]

a very late sharing but . . .

last month ( june 2024 ), i went to watch 4 amazing shows in germany and the netherlands. at least 3 were frozen and 1 was tanz der vampire.

it was supposed to be 3 shows, but my friend and i had a last-minute decision to watch die eiskönigin on my last day in hamburg so that's why we watched 4 shows in total.

i had the best time of my life for this trip!!

MAINLY the reason i worked hard to make this trip a reality was because i reaaaaally wanted to see bob ( who plays main cast prince hans for frozen hamburg ) and LET ME TELL YOU ohhhh it was such a joy to see his performance TWICE + waited for him after the show to talk and take a picture.

OFC i stammered and i straight up told him how speechless i am except for how amazing it was to see him perform etc. and my friend told him i came all the way from malaysia just to watch him AND at that point i think he thinks it was lowkey crazy of me to do that cause he asked "that's insane, wow! how long was your flight?" and i said 12-13 hours give or take. and he was like "pls tell me you have other activities to do while staying here in hamburg" but i was spacing out cause i was over the moon and embarrassed after that. but my friend told him that we're seeing places in hamburg and later in the netherlands to watch the dutch production so he was like "ah okay, cool 👍".

no one really prepares you for how surreal it is meeting your favorite person / celeb / actor 😭 and he was so sweet and down to earth that at one point i felt it wasn't right to come up to him and ask for a picture because i didn't have one JUST with him. like the fact that i met him twice was a blessing on its own, and i was veeeery torn from being that crazy and disrespectful fan versus "i'd rather say thank you and move on so he can have his space".

WHICH i think, was the ultimate right decision because at the end of the day, they're still an average people with a job who deserves every ounce of respect and decency with their personal time.

ANYWAY i'll never forget how magical it was seeing him perform, his FUCKING VOCALS, impeccable height and form, all that little gestures which noooo one really paid attention to except if you're delusional enough ( the amount of times i DIED gushing on the inside seeing his scenes with anna even though im not a hanna stan ). my favorite scene / gesture was when he signals to anna to CLIMB up to him during LIAOD and i GRABBED my friend's hands cause I NOTICEDDDD THAT !!!! ( it helps when our seat was the second front row, so i was already at a close-up there 👀 ).

when i tell you i literally had my eyes on him at EVERY SCENE he's in!!!! aahhhhhhh, i am blessed ✨️ and OH, his evil laugh after betraying anna? YES KING I SUPPORT YOU.

and ofc, hearing PRINZ HANS AUS DEM SÜDEN plus his reprise???! UGHHH, please take my money again!!! and LASS JETZT LOSS BY BOTH JANNEKE AND WILLEMJIN??? MINDBLOWING. PHENOMENAL. SHOWSTOPPER!!

zum ersten mal, liebe sie öffnen tür, gefährlich wenn man träumt & monster !!! ahhhh, music to my ears 💕

also ALSO i met willemijn and abla after the second ( impromptu ) show AND just like what i said in the beginning to bob, i told them hearing du bist alles was EVERYTHING to me and it's vastly different than hearing it on youtube. they are gooooorgeous gorgeous women and i felt accomplished after taking a picture with them ( even though i was freezing ).

i met jan who plays main cast olaf and aaaaaa he's basically the human version of olaf!! very lovely to talk to him and took a picture with him as well 💕

for tanz der vampire, my friend chose the seats where the actors will interact with the audience and i was ✨️ charmed ✨️ by them ; one scene happened when one of the vampires swept his cloak and nearly covered me underneath, and another scene happened when one of them TAPPED my shoulder — i felt so special looool.

there were a few of my favorite songs in there, but finally hearing them live ( totale finsternis and got ist tott ) was CHEFS KISS 💋

anyways, hearing frozen in dutch was a totally different experience in itself. it was great, and the actors really gave it their all, i think ( imho ), i prefer the german version. maaaaybe because i've been hearing their version for almost a year AND studying german A1, so i've been using it as one of my listening practices 🥲👌

nevertheless, my heart remains full even after more than a month. while my heart aches to return there ( especially hamburg ), i'm hopeful that i can make it happen again and watch frozen german in stuttgart next ( FINGERS CROSSED ).

[treetownconfessions]

thinking about htf au where fliqpy is the demon entity creature thing of all time except he was such a menace that he got sealed up into dogtags and those got thrown deep into the jungle in a huge lake within it so hes basically trapped there forever. and flippys just a regular ass private and he knows the tiger bomb mission was just a massive setup to kill him and his friends but he cant do anything about it so the night before the mission he goes outside to look at the stars and the water all emo-like and miserably one last time because hes accepted hes gonna die and the spot he chose is literally the lake fliqpy was imprisoned and when flippy looks at his reflection in the water it distorts to fliq since he's looking back and starts talking to him and. flippys super sleep deprived and insane and its the dead of night so he doesnt even fucking care that his own distorted reflection is talking to him in the lake now and thinks hes probably just dreaming. and fliq asks him whats wrong and flippys like "im gonna die tomorrow :( cant do anything about it" and fliqpys like "yeah that sounds unfortunate. i bet youd like not-dying over dying right" and flippys like yeahi guess, and then fliqs like "i can do that for you! stick ur hand in the pond" and flippys like "what" and fliqs like "do it. Put Your Hand In The Pond" and flippys like fine, and puts his arm in the pond and has to dig around for a bit in the water to find the dogtags and when he lifts it out hes like "what is this gonna do" and fliqpys like "yeah that. that thing :) dont worry about it just replace that with your regular dogtags and everything will be sorted out. lol. lmao" and flippys like ok fuck it i have nothing to lose and does as he says and fliqs reflection is gone at this point so he heads back to his camp and falls asleep. he wakes up and literally nothing has changed and hes convinced its just a dream so he goes out 100% sure hes about to die today. and the tiger bomb mission happens the same with his friends dying and fliq appearing and flippys like Ohhhh. u WERENT just a figment of my imagination. and fliqpys like "yeah im here to take over your body as my own so i can properly free myself" and flippys like "oh. dont do that please" but fliqpys a massive asshole and kind of only tricked flippy into the events of last night bc when he saw flippy he realized he could switch out his physical inhabitance from the dogtags to him so now flippys fucking stuck with this murderous incomprehensible entity and fliqpy is originally only using flippy as a temporary host until he can create his OWN body and inhabit that (which will also probably kill flippy in the process once he leaves him) but theyre also in the middle of a war so hes like ok, i have to keep flippy alive until this war is over so he can keep being my host, and then when its done and we leave i can get to making my own form freely. but his plan goes south because. he falls in love with flippy and then is stuck between striving for the freedom hes been wanting and calculating for since the day he was imprisoned and staying and caring for this silly green bear whos shown him kindness hes never had before even in the face of betrayal and its not like he can do both because again itll probably fucking kill flippy so hes just so torn up over it and he doesnt recognize these feelings he has for someone seemingly so insignificant and. yeah

im going to die

[imightgetbetter]

Oh! So after he matched with my friend on Bumble, I had a bit of manic episode, went a little “psycho” and was like “please don’t leave me” when he was like “so it’s over” or whatever. That was all I got for him breaking up with me. A text that said “so it’s over”

A few days later, I sent him a picture of me dressed up when I went out with a friend, he called me cute; we didn’t talk for a few days, and then he randomly texts me “Hi.” We talk, and he’s like “let’s meet up in a few days to talk and stuff.”

More time passes, at 3am Wednesday night I think it was, I get an incoherent text from him, so I’m like “??” He replies “I don’t know.” But edits his original text to say “I can’t believe this is it??”

I emphasized that I didn’t want to break up (I’d previously apologized for going off on him because I genuinely felt bad about it, and he was like it was deserved it’s fine,) but he was just like “it’s for the best.”

At the beginning of our relationship, I had loaned him a book, so I immediately was like “give me my book back.” And he’s like “I feel like you’re mad.”

The thing is I’m having a really bad depressive episode so I literally told him I don’t have the energy to fight for him anymore, especially when I know there’s nothing I can do to change his mind. But the next day I texted him again, and was like I’m free Saturday and Monday, give me my book back. He’s like “I’m out of town for the weekend.”

Monday, he texts me, while I’m at work and was like “where do you want to meet?” So after I get off, we meet up in a random parking lot, and I chewed him out, but then he sat in my car with me for over an hour helping me figure out an issue I’m having with my insurance, and I’m still really torn up about it.

One of the last times I saw him before our breakup, he was like “I think it’s a right person wrong time thing,” and honestly, now, I feel like he was right. I’m obviously not in the mental state to have a relationship right now, but I’d take him back in a heartbeat (granted, things did go from really sweet and intimate to toxic real fast, with him only texting me when he’s horny lool) but for him to sit in my car with me and try and help me figure out the mess that is my life right now, after we broke up? It meant a lot to me.

I’ve literally cried all day today, when I wasn’t sleeping or working, and my heart just hurts. I know I deserve better than how he was treating me at the end, but in the beginning? That was the best I’ve been treated, and for him to still be offering to help me, after everything? Im also struggling with money, im trying to take the LSAT so I can go to law school, and he’s like “let me pay for it,” because I genuinely don’t have the $400 to take it right now, but I ideally need to take it within the next few months.

Sorry this was so long lool

(🧚🏻‍♀️)

babe, i say this with all the love and care in the world, but this guy is manipulating you masterfully. it’s not the right person wrong time because the right person will always come at the right time, fate works great like that. he does not respect you and your boundaries (from what you’ve told me) and you freaking out on him for being a dick was deserved. i don’t think you should be begging this guy to stay because he isn’t worth that and has given you no reason to ask him to stay. being nice at the beginning is bare minimum because um he should be nice to you always. i don’t think taking the money would make you feel any better but if you need to, then do it. but i think you should stop communication with this guy immediately. it’s really not good for you. we all support you and want the best for you 🫶🏻

[s3xtones]

hiii ily,

this might be quite long so sorry about that :/

theres a pretty lady i’ve known a very long time who i am very much in love with. i feel as though we’re bound by that in a way, she knows i love her without me having to tell her and i know she loves me. ig the bond that we have isn’t enough tho since we’ve tried several times before and it never ends up working out for us. she mostly blames it on herself and her ‘self sabotaging tendencies’ but there’s been times where i’ve been so horrible and so obviously at fault and it’s almost as if we start off beautifully but we both become almost chaotic and end up splitting again.

we’ve spent a lot of time apart and as of right now i feel as tho we’ve both matured a lot and my love for her is just as strong if not stronger than before. we talk less but it’s almost as if we don’t need to, whenever we do however we always clarify and honour the love we still have for each other even tho we’re separate. i really do believe in a relationship with her and i’m not close to giving up on that but my problem is that i’m worried that she struggles focusing on someone long term in general.

we mostly stay out of each others way now, checking up every once in a while. she has a boyfriend now too which doesn’t bother me in itself but he’s sort of the object of the issue. i don’t mean to sound cocky but i know that i could take her back whenever i wanted, boyfriend or not. that’s where the problem arises tho because they’ve only been together around 2 weeks and in that time alone she’s flirted with me and mentioned (not directly to me) that she’d ‘literally die for me’ and hates that she sabotaged our relationship calling herself insane for doing it :( .

as i’ve mentioned i do see a future with her. i love her and i want her and i guess i’m selfish in the sense that if we were guaranteed to last, i wouldn’t have any problems taking her away from her boyfriend at all. the only reason i’m reluctant is because i feel like if she can’t focus on her current man for 2 weeks without running back to me at 4 in the morning, then she’s not ready for something long term and i’d hate for us to go through the effort of getting back together just for it to end in a couple weeks. i really feel torn because i want her to myself but i see no longevity in us. i think if tried to focus on the person she’s wit now it’d prove to me that it’s possible for us to have something long term. we’ve had a connection ever since we met and i feel so drawn to her. she’s a real angel to me and i wish her sm peace and happiness regardless of our circumstances. i really need a new perspective. tysm for reading this and giving advice if u do <3

oh and btw she shares ur first name <3

lots of love <333

A DOOMED LOVE STORY.

Idk taking her from her man is just an ego / pride move n a terrible way to get back into the relationship. Based on what you’ve told me , i think y’all are both confused on what you actually want from each other and what to do with the feelings you have for one another. the space is good for now and actually maybe there should be even MORE SPACE. Her Reachin out at 4am is not a good thing cause she’s creepin and even though to you that’s a sign you can “take her” it’s also evidence of the overlying problem, COMMITMENT!

If y’all both cannot commitment 100% it’s never gon be right.

Commitment takes trust, faith, love , discipline, loyalty and a lot of self reflection.

It feels weird to let go of someone so familiar they felt like home. You get to reminiscing bout old good times n wishing you could do it all over again but the reality is it cannot work with the way things are. People never change, they do grow and mature but people do not change their ways and who they are at their core.

idk im still trynna figure out my own situation and this made me cry. Reiterating what i said, there’s a difference yearning for the love once shared and missing someone you’re too afraid to let go of but you don’t really want cause then you’re actually alone.

Let her go fr n if y’all are meant it will be.

ily2 n i wish you the best, focus on u fr build ur dream life in the meantime

ARIEL WHEREEVRR U ARE U BETTER GET RIGHT N REALIZE WHAT U WANT AND WHAT YOU DESERVE. YOU ARE WORTH THE BEST!

[bisognamorire]

Beloved and dearly missed A.,

Happy Friday!

I am unsure what you would think of me writing these, because isn’t this kind of ‘not letting go’? But I thought: for me it is in a way, because I’m not asking for a response or acknowledgement and whether I type it out or not is a bit of the same, because I would tell you in my mind, if I wasn’t writing it down. I always want to talk with you. I always miss you. And you know I am always delusional and pathetic.

Two days ago, I had some nervousness inducing conversations with my therapist about me being dissociated most of the time, up to the point that I even dissociate in therapy sessions and can’t really process or understand/accept what is being said to me. And that I feel anxious to ask questions because I worry my therapist might not be honest to me when I ask her to be upfront (which is ofc my own trust issues) or might feel I’m annoying her.

We then looked closer at that cycle of dissociation and anxiety. I felt horrified to see how torn that inner insecurity (almost a grappling for the perception of reality between the “trauma brain/adult brain”) makes me feel and act at times. Sure you remember. And to get a sense of all the potential damage that volatile dynamic can cause others and myself.

This week has started with many people calling in sick to work, so I was obliged to take on more shifts than I originally had. Needless to mention that that isn’t very pleasant. I feel rather knocked out by this week. Patients and coworkers have been rather rude too — it reminded me of the time you worked in the city museum front desk. I, too, experience the general public’s madness everyday. So many bizarre things that I can’t possibly write it all down or remember it. I was once asked out of the blue, mid conversation, by a grandpa whether I was wearing a wig. An other patient complained to me that his taxi was taking too long to pick him up, but he apparently hadn’t even called one (?). Then the general babylonic discourses with russian people who are unfazed at me telling them I don’t speak russian and who proceed to speak russian anyway… 🫨

Im just constantly tired and exhausted— it reminded me of that little sketch you drew of yourself of rotting in bed and saying ‘surely theres a better way to live my life than that’.

Yesterday I rolled over in bed and stared at my wall. My blanket had wrapped around my torso tightly. I remembered you hugging me like that in the bed you had set up for me in your room on that last night and just began to cry horribly.

Not all that I feel can be expressed in words about all that.

I’ve also not slept very well all week and woke up in the middle of the night. I suppose dad and you are haunting me in my subconscious.

But — on to more ‘joyous’ things.

You know how I read up about the Somerton Man (scary) and I was very intrigued by the process of identifying him and just the mystery around that ‘Tamam Shud’ from Omar Khayyam’s Rubaiyat in his pocket. I had wanted to have a copy of that for myself (there are such nice editions with art nouveau illustrations which you would surely appreciate too) and went to a nearby antique book store after my massage last Saturday. They had a battered 1913 copy (unfortunately without illustrations) of it and some of the poems really resonated with how I feel.

Heres some of my favourites:

Three days ago the rest of my Yamato Cosplay unexpectedly arrived in the mail, so I took some joy out of completing the costume for now. I feel like my inner transmasc oni was turned outward finally! 👹

For my birthday last year Sharon’s boyfriend gifted me a box of Basilur Green Tea assortment from the russian supermarket in front of my house. I usually don’t like green tea, so I only tried it recently. In that assortment they had a few sachets of milk oolong tea, do you know it? I love it now. I drink it with two or three spoons of sugar and a bit of milk. Its not as irritating to the stomach as the Earl Grey I favour, maybe you can try it? ♥️

While we are on the topic of Earl Grey — after I have completed a cosplay of Transmasc Oni Yamato (my alter ego) I am now thinking of doing a Ciel Phantomhive or Pinocchio from Lies of P cosplay, just because they’re both giving off that assholish midget horse-lady Laurent vibes, which — as you know — is also my alter ego 😏

I’ve been doodling a bit in the evenings after work (I’ve not drawn something in so long, and why? for who?), and listening to anime openings etc. Sometimes I wonder if it is a bit cringe that I still gain joy from the same things I had when I was 13, living with my parents back then and feeling utterly lonely (still do). Here are some of the things I’ve drawn:

The first one is depicting how I feel when I am experiencing an episode of mania (also, also, blood thing/our Laurent, self insert?). I called this emotional state ‘Archangel’, because it isn’t actually me, or thats how it feels at least. It is this righteous entity, that is entitled to anger and vengeful feelings. He is 100% sure his feelings are justified. I don’t often experience the archangel or that inner ‘surety’ of my own perception, of reality. But when I do — not only does he feel anger, he also punishes me bodily for — by proxy — feeling anger through him. He humiliates me. It is almost as if I was taking on the persona’s of the people who abused me as a child. Who disallowed me from standing up for myself, and who discouraged protecting myself from them, who disallowed me from feeling angry. I am not allowed to be upset.

I’m sorry if thats tmi and makes you uncomfortable, you know I’m always too open.

The second one is Romano and Antonio in the traditional clothes of the Fallas Carnival in Valencia. This year is the tenth year anniversary of me first visiting the city (I can’t believe it! I have memories of 10 years ago!!) I booked a one week vacation there for March to go by myself and finally see the Fallas! Valencia’s main festival! I’m very excited to drink Horchata de Chufa and draw some Antonio/Romano doodles and take naps. I also booked a tour to see the atelier’s of the artists building the statues, that will surely be interesting. I already wish I could send you a postcard, but I’m not supposed to, am I? Maybe I will get one anyway and just post it here and then add it to your little box of things I keep.

Again, I’m looking forward to rest and play my video game on the weekend, when I am off (I’m currently trying to level myself up to take on that acid monster in the Cathedral of St. Frangelico) 🙄

Thinking of you fondly at the sight of the stars & moon,

your Sabo

[bluebellswood]

MahoYaku main story 1 reread

Rambles for myself so I can look back on it. Will probably add as it goes.

i missed out a lot of things looking back and ?? now i read some parts and wonder if i am reading too much into things then i remember who wrote this and what happened in i7 so there’s never too much reading into it with tsm sensei’s works

its been close to 3 years since I last read it and ms2 is coming to an end so like hehe. Plus it hasn’t been voiced yet back then so I am listening to it now. ITS SO GOOD…

Ch1

“Both the world and I have been torn apart quite terribly”

I am now knowingly nodding when Murr said that. now I’m wondering. since it was a fragment of old Murr why wasn’t there a shard or smth of his soul during first meeting or was it simply part of the summoning magic.

Shino: They haven’t been wiped out. I know someone at the magic headquarters. If anything happened to him, I’d know right away. Eastern merchant: H-how? Shino: Wizards don’t make promises. Because if we break a promise, we lose our magic. But I was tricked by my irresponsible master and made a promise with a fellow apprentice. We promised that we would protect each other.

ch3. Shino... ueuueue like despite how he said, Im sure he would still went ahead and make that promise of keeping Heath save but in a one way direction only...

It kept me going knowing that Shino was worried about Heath despite trying to make it sounded lightly like he’s a spoiled young master, he’s probably crying rn but ur voice is betraying no one Shino

-----

Ever time Arthur appears it makes me wanna head pat him and go what a good kid and start crying or something

Drummond: Not all wizards are benevolent beings who help humans, anyway! Just look at Oz, who controlled the world under his rule of terror — he’s exactly the kind of wizard I’m talking about! Humans have long suffered under the thumb of wicked wizards! Arthur: ............

This part gets more funny bc despite how true that is to Oz, it’s the worst example that could be brought up to Arthur in this context bc Arthur thinks Oz is the nicest person ever. Anything bad about Oz is not real to him. He doesn't believe it despite everyone as early on tells him about terrible things Oz did.. it keeps getting me head in hands

-------

Here comes Cain talking about his eye and Owen. “a wizard with a terrible personality” Owen’s terrible personality is what makes him cute. shut up Cain. Aren't u the one who asked him out to dinner like. 2 years laterdfgj

ch 4

I just love how Shylock has his ways of words, it's probably comes with experience and age with how he knows how to appreciate everything and also bc hes a bartender adkfnds

Like how Bradley's section of the sage manual is "Warning: handle with caution" bc at the end of the day he's relatively a sensible person who had to learn how to survive in the north. but it also goes to see how the previous sage didnt try to understand the wizards on a deeper level. as funny as he was, he wasnt good at his job adjffhb. (1)

Also Owen's part "Talking with him makes you feel like you’re having a mental breakdown." wheeehehfh reading about him also gives me a mental breakdown so I cant say anything much there AhAHAHBHS

I totally missed out the "Oz taking over the world" part the first time round and only connected the dots sometime later.. actually I think it makes sense since no one know about Oz and Arthur's relationship yet at that point so the implication of it is not yet known

----

They put in a mana stone in the goblet and like afjsnaoj isnt that a dead wizard... and the fact the content in the goblet smells like blood... cryuing

ch 5

NEROOOOOOO NERO NERO <333 NERO APPEARED!!!

Riquet! God… looking back at how brainwashed he was growing up in a cult and how in 2nd anniv it was implied riquet was caged up and he thought that that was him serving the people is so fudging. They’re just using u Riquet…. :(

Listening to Chloe and Rustica duo is way more funny than just reading it. Rustica is so HAHAHAHA helpless, really <3 they’re just so funny I love them

When Figaro showed up. Made me 🥹🥹🦶🦶🦶🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🫶🫶🤬🤬🤬😠😠😠 he evoked so many emotions it’s unreal. But the Flores brothers 🥹 Mitile wants to defend his nii sama

Mitile: What about you, Dr. Figaro? Is there anything cool about you? Rutile: Hey. Don’t be rude, Mitile.

This part is so funny im gonna cry. Also Yknow how Rutile telling Figaro it's not a good hobby to keep secrets? Yet he doesn't mind if he keeps them, if that what makes him happy bc to Mitile and Rutile.. Figgy was the on who took care of them and so they care about him genuinely.. i need figgy to wake up and see it and accept it adkjfg SECOND ANNIV SCREWED ME UP WHEN SMTH ALONG THESE LINES GET BROUGHT UP. anyway. Lenno!!

Ch6 when Murr said

“Just as I can love the < Great Catastrophe > when it gently illuminates the night sky, but must push it back when it gets too close.”

He had a change of tone where there’s a hint of old murr towards the end when he talks about the moon…. I loved it so much bc no matter what, no matter how his soul shatters, it’s still Murr, the eccentric philosopher who loved the moon as if it’s his everything.

———

This part makes me wonder so much

Snow: Take a closer look. White: Our shadows are still stuck within the frame.

Our shadows? White still has shadows? Isnt he a ghost? Does it not count if he’s in the frame?

———

Bradley calling himself Bradley sama is so funny to me bc I can definitely see back then why I wasn’t that interested in him in the first place. If he had continued acting that way, he wouldn’t have shoot up so high my my favourites right now.

+ Akira saying their impression of Bradley initially the older brother with quick temper but guess they were wrong AKDNSKAK NOOOO Akiraaaaa cling onto ur judgement!!! He is!!! He’s just a little hot headed bc it’s only in the introduction phase!!!!

ch 7

Arthur: I’m thinking of setting aside a day of national celebration, and calling it "National Mixer Day". Akira: P-perhaps you should come up with a different name for a national holiday? Arthur: You think so? Akira: Y-Yes.

Help this part Arthur but hes a good kid really!! Anything he comes across, he takes notes of them and see how he could use it to improve the country and how he takes the sage words seriously... how he trust people so much... oz... how did u raise such a good kid.....

As for Akira.... Akira really rolling with everything the previous sage said, not correcting anything, trying to save his image CRYING the previous sage should thank Akira.

ch 8

Shylock: No worries. I'm quite familiar with lunatics.

ok. when shylock says it. its kinda nice. when murr says it. he sounds so akfdsjfbhj do u wan a slappnsd

Snow: We’ll introduce the remaining three. White: Bradley — absent. Snow: Owen — absent. White: Mithra — also absent. That’s all.

I love mhyk's sanbaka

also i love how practically everyone knows Figaro. Northern wizards? Self explanatory. Arthur? Figaro is like an uncle to him. Nero? He's from the North. Faust? Former mentee. Murr and Shylock? Please, the whole snow and white drama.

MMMMM I have a lot of things to say from onwards but I finished reading and wow damn I did forget many stuff

OZ BEING WORRIED WHEN HE REALSIES ARTHUR WAS A SAGE WIZARD TOO I CANNOTOTKFK he wanted to keep him safe ueueud

Bradley telling Mitile he might be able to get by in the North is so KUSA knowing he has a Northern wizard blood running through him and if he was trained properly he would definitely be strong af… (also with how later on Brad does mentor Mitile here and there occasionally)

shino and heath little argue and the fact that they didn’t actually recoiled but somehow just fell back to being friends again

BRADNERO FUDGING QUESTION WHERE WERE U ON THE NIGHT I GOT CAUGHT… he genuinely seems worried and if not a little hurt by the fact Nero was not there with him in the moment of distress. I am hurt. for Bradley, Nero was someone he considered his partner, someone who he could trust his hopes on. He was still daydreaming…. (FUGDE Y SECOND ANNI) Bradley being real serious with the way he said it’s not because of Nero he got caught so don’t worry. Nero can’t reply. Because he was indeed the reason Bradley got caught.

Fugding hell Old MurrShy is the thing ever. I love the knives they throw at each other which CUTS because they know each other too well. The Love and Hate Shylock has for Murr for over close to a thousand years. The ruthlessness of both.

Chloe asking Rustica not to take their friendship to the extreme like Murr and Shylock 😭😭

OH MY GOD THE PARALLEL OF WHEN FAUST INSTRUCTED EASTERN WIZARDS TO HOW LENNOX POINTED HOW HE REMEMBERS FAUST USED TO GIVE COMMANDS 😭😭😭 right when Faust bring them to the execution hill BRUH

Shino pointing at the hill and Faust talking about the execution hill like he Knows too well… FAUST… failed heroes becom criminals… FAUST…..

Shino back at it again saying he wants to make it big so he can brags about Heath to everyone, so he can proudly say this is my Lord and no one will look down on Heath and he can proudly say Heath is his friend and Heath can have confidence in himself and and to shino, HEATH IS A MAN WORTHY OF EVERYTHING AND HE WILL GRANT HIM THATSHDJNDMDMD

Faust wanting to leave and Figaro said there’s no one else more responsible than Faust and the way it went like “ Faust went: Snow and White. Figaro: Are you joking. Look at how me and Oz turned out “ I know figgy said futago sensei careless, they were his and Oz’s master but yeah. same thing. kusa

Faust blizzard injury being his dream and his desire.. while he was out to stake to be burn… Figaro being there too…. when in actual reality Figaro long ditched them…. he just wants his mentor was with him till the last moment eueududjjfjksksm HE STILLS WANTS HIS MENTOR TO BE WITH HIM

Figaro cursing Faust with plain words of things that are stating the obvious bad outcomes if Faust leaves so it will rings in Faust head if anything bad happens and the regret will curse him THAT THING IS SO GOOD DESPITE HOW TWISTED IT WAS because words hold so much power and Figaro.. even if he’s a coward… he knows how to speak when he wants…. Also cursing the knowledge Figaro might die soon. And not being able to tell anyone or do anything.

chloe actually crying in ch 17 :( i had no idea he cried cried uuuuuu I want to hug him and tell him he’s the nicest person ever, I want to be his friend!! Anyone who doesn’t is their lost!!

Oz’s small smile after he walked away helping Arthur… when he finally got a good look at Arthur’s face and thinks about how much Arthur has grown. And Arthur realising Oz has been avoiding him to protect his place in the castle and his reputation. I AM FOIJG TO CRY GOING TO CRY

Kizu Owen is the cutest thing ever his voice is so cute. I can hear a little bit of Leo in there ajxhjsk anyway he is the cutest. Owen’s Knights complex shines a lot with Kizu Owen. Him wanting to be saved by a knight. Him being trapped all alone in his childhood left with a half torn muddy picture book about Knight. The only thing that gave him hope. Maybe Kizu Owen is Owen’s personality before he became twisted. He does feels like a hopeful child way back…. I want to give him so many cakes

MITHRA THINKING BACK ABOUT TILETTA….. making a promise to Tiletta bc he wants to make her happy at least once before she passes away… and to him, Tiletta’s happiness is worth putting all his magic on the line.

Mithra does complain a lot about Tiletta. Oh this rude women oh wild women but But at the end of the day, she’s still the most important figure in his life, she’s still the one who raised him, taught him magic, taught how to live. He does respect and care about her. The only constant in his life and grounds him for the world. When Mitile told him he feels sorry that Mithra has not yet found anyone precious him his life… all I want to say is… my boy.. it’s your mother…..

the relationship between Tiletta and Mithra going from “this boy handsome, will make him my lover” to “he grown up to be pathetic, so I decided against it”

Arthur displaying his authority as the crown prince to Vincent GOD THE VOICE ACTING WAS GOOD!!!CHILLS ITS ALSO THE SAME WHEN HEATH DID IT TO NICHOLAS (shino: heh) so proud of both of them !!

Oz and futago sensei standing there like 🧍🖼️ at night bc they’re useless. Love them

NERO AND BRADLEY. They’re both so Uncle core u don’t understand 😭😭😭 they still very buddy buddy when it comes to these things it’s so funny. U could tell they used to spend a lot of time in each other’s company by how they act (when Nero slips)

Some wizards are already starting to catch on… no… even Mitile himself starting to caught on how Figaro only teaches him weak spells and the way his spell is hard to say….. I didn’t realise it was that early on…. Holy shit…..

The whole Mitile asking BradNero to save Rutile from Mithra only to be in the way of defeating the actual villain and them arguing and Nova standing there🧍

SANBAKA TOGETHER FINALLLYYYYYY. Bradley calling a Mithra an Idiot. Cant say much. Bradley is the smartest there.

Mithra dumping Nova in a magma reservoir. Closing it without hearing Nova’s grand exit and reveal. Everyone: …. Mithra: wanna eep (ISNT THAT WHY U REALISE UR PROMISE ALMOST TOO LATEKAJDJS)

All Northern wizard recognising Oz’s reverse lightning except Nero 😭😭😭😭

Nero trying to be poetic and Brad went u ass what the fudge u going on about is like the most buddy thing. It’s like seeing ur friend trying to be a romantic staring out the window trying to act as if they’re in an MV and u giving the what the fudge face

so maybe Layers to Shylock eating Murr’s shard instead of feeding it back to Murr. Because he despise Murr and does not want OG Murr to come back? Because he loves Murr that he wants part of Murr to always be with him? Because he wants to taste Murr??????? SHYLOCK????? The longing and yearning yet hating is insane with MurrShy

Re to what I said in (1) I think the previous sage does come to a realisation with what he wrote in the manual but at that point it became too late to get to know them on a deeper level. He still thinks Northern wizards are always difficult to deal with when they can be real simple at times if put in effort talking to them.

Nova no having that many lines is the funniest shit ever

The voice acting for Shino is so damn good I can’t wait to hear 2nd anni voice bc there’s a lot of desperation in the arc. When worried Shino called out the Kizu Heath like it pains him a lot. GOD. He is so worried and he’s doesn’t want to hurt Heath

important stuff I like getting reminded about

>Breaking a promise results in the wizards losing their magic. Because it means betraying your own heart, betraying the you who made that promise. Words hold lots of power after all (common theme which I really like. The importance and the impact of what you say to others)

>Promise is what moves the heart, the resolved in your heart and this your heart is what binds the promise. It’s shows that even if this world is uncertain at least there’s someone you can trust no matter what. An anchor.

>Mana stones hold the respective wizard’s magic powers. Magical technology uses it to fuel

>Murr was the one who founded Magical science technology which cause uproar in the West. Causes Shylock’s hometown to be contaminated and creatures go extinct. ( hunt down magical creature till extinction for the mana stones.?? I’m sure I read this somewhere)

>Owen gains power from human’s emotion. Fear. He can talk to beast what a Disney Princess he is <3333 bc he’s a huntsman bc ignore that

>Figaro feels he’s gonna die soon. Mitile is the prophecy child who will destroy all Southern wizards.

[witchboyjimin]

Confidently waving at you below a mountain of tissues and heart medicine bc of your last ask :D

Also my prayer better work the fuck or else imma throw hands 😤 it does make me go shifty eyes over my sent asks tho haha. Until you answer, I'm always like you better not have lost this my dude @ Tumblr

ALSO NOT YOU SAYING YOU WANNA INVITE ME TO DINNER OMG NAV LMFAO. Smooth. Did make me giggle ngl. Also we have the option of me cooking because i am pretty decent I'd say. And all I have to watch out for are things that give me problems randomly in no pattern so we're good rip 💀 however, ordering in is also awesome so I'm game for anything. What do you usually love to order in or rather, if you could choose anything, what would it be?

I'm wrecking my brain over what part of ILHDYS I enjoy the most but hm. Maybe not choosing is the more elegant way out haha. Ngl the scene just before Jungkook leaves for the human town, their fight... That one's a good one. I love when a character sorta fucks up and hurts the other character's feelings jn the heat of the moment because it feels quite real and raw.

And omg Nav, i genuinely all jokes aside had my heart warm up upon your words of gratitude ♥️ i love that i could contribute to you getting more comfortable with your writing again and that you gained confidence back. I love love love to see it ♥️ and i will shamelessly continue to do so haha.

And i am so torn (sounds too harsh but can't think of a better word rn lol) over coming off anon, not necessarily bc I'm shy but writing messages on anon like this has a certain kind of magic to it. I have such a hard time putting into words what I'm trying to say here hahaha. But i will definitely consider 😊

Question(s): what fic trope do you enjoy reading the most? And what's your favourite pet name if you do have one? Seeing as there are different ones throughout your fics.

I'm sending you hugs upon love upon hugs (if you want ofc) back and hope you take care of yourself too. I was very happy to read on your main blog that you feel better ❤️❤️❤️ and if you're ever feeling down or like you'd want to talk to someone, I'm never far ☺️

.... also forehead kiss Nav- that is lethal hahaha

- cabin anon ✨

omg yeah keeping my fingers crossed your asks come through!!! >:0 be nice tumblr!

keke ofc i was going to invite you to dinner! oooh! do you have like a signature dish? or a fan favourite that friends/family request you make? but also rip to random foods that give you allergies >:( that's truly the worst when it is hard enough trying to eat. my fav thing to eat out is....[shame spiral] mcdonald's spicy chicken nuggets. no im joking (im not), my go to take out food is actually korean fried chicken. i think i eat it like...at least twice a month fkndk what about you!!! we gotta decide what we're gonna eat at out dinner.

I ALSO LOVE WHEN A CHARACTER FUCKS UP AND THEN THE OTHER PERSON'S FEELINGS ARE HURT!!!!!!!! it's DELICIOUS! and then you just get to sit there and nibble on the anguish. it's especially nice if you, as the reader, know character who got their feelings hurt likes/loves character who hurt their feelings. good shit.

i mean it! i've been writing down my feelings more these days so i can process them/figure out mental blocks and i legit wrote "cabin anon enjoys your fic and that's enough" because i can really get in my head about being good enough which is also so dumb because i'm very lucky that so many kind people enjoy my fic. but it really means a lot to have someone like support me in this way so i really wanted to let you know how much i appreciate it and how much it's helped! i make a much more active effort to write these days. and it's 100% okay if you don't want to come off anon! whatever makes you happiest and most comfortable -3- no pressure from me. i am happy to talk to you like this and if you did come off anon, i would love to talk to you that way too!

my fav fic trope is definitely hurt/comfort. i think i love reading it because....i love getting my feelings hurt and then receiving the comfort fgjfndk but honestly when a fic hurts just right, i can like feel it in my chest and the ache will travel all the way down to my hands and it's just SO GOOD! if we get more specific, i love (as we discussed) when person a goes feral when person b gets hurt and also...guy who is insane and evil and mean but not to his love interest.

fav pet name for jimin is 100% kitten >:) i don't get to use it enough but i will change that! also love it when jk calls jimin princess. but i think in general for fic, i'm a sucker for baby/babe. you can never go wrong with a classic. i do love endearments/pet names a LOT tho! so i also love little bird/dove, love, darling, etc etc.

please tell me what you like for both questions too THANK-YOU!

keke well you were being so kind and wonderful and physical touch is my love language -3- i hope you have a great day cabin anonie ✨!! and that things are going well. i'm also here if you ever need to get anything off your mind! cheering for you!!! 💛💛💛

[cynettic]

Kissing Genshin Characters before you Die

Summary - Kissing the Genshin Characters one last time before you enter the battlefield.

Pairings - Reader x Albedo / Barbara / Bennett / Beidou / Chongyun / Diluc / Eula / Kazuha / Kaeya / Ayaka / Ningguang / Childe / Venti / Xiao / Zhongli

Warnings - Angst, death mentions

Tips - I wrote this listening to ‘Lovely’ and ‘Listen before I go,’ so it might make it better if you listen to both those songs while reading this :’) Both are by Billie Eilish btw, both reverb and slowed down songs for the extra angst

A/N - Im so tired, so so tired of human interaction and having no motivation to talk to people. Its like my social battery simply does not recharge, and I'm stuck writing about interactions I wish I could have, even if it's angst. Burying myself in the delusion that being in a different reality would change everything, burying myself in little imaginations and dreams of a love that doesn't exist.

Also yes, if you did notice the song lyrics playing at first are from "If the World was Ending," used to listen to that song so much. Thought it would fit this :)

“If the world was ending you’d come over right?”

It was absolute chaos, flames crawling up the wooden buildings and spreading smoke through the nation of Teyvat. Everything burned with the scorching heat, children crying, men and woman trying to run from the unescapable flames. Terror etched into citizens faces when encountering the monsters who appeared unaffected by the destruction.

Hilichurls and ruin guards smashing past people, till there was nowhere to run. And it was the mere decision of whether being beaten to death or burnt crisp was a better way to leave this world.

“You’d come over and you’d stay the night.”

But there you were, weapon in hand as you stood up against the blaze. Strong against the unblinking inferno in front of you, unwavering as you stood in front of the monsters that eagerly rushed towards you. Cut and obliterated in seconds, your eyes held nothing but a sickening disgust.

You slowly turned back to your s/o, relief quenching your heart when they were safe in the little location you’d found for them. They were injured, they wouldn't be sitting on the sidelines otherwise. And holding your weapon up again, you claimed the role of protector against the hoard of monsters.

“Would you love me for the hell of it?”

Their voice broke past your focus, a ragged sound that was suffering. It only took you a few strides till you reached them, crouching down to face them fully. Your faces were mere inches away, and you could see the frustration on their face. A deeply rooted feeling that fueled the action as they curled their hand around your head. Pressing your lips against theirs, one last kiss before you assumed the role of predator against the monsters.

“All our fears would be irrelevant.”

Both hands coming to hold their face, you pressed forwards into their kiss. Grasp tight against them, clinging onto them as if they were your lifeline.

“If the world was ending you’d come over right?”

You kissed them as if the world wasn't a aflame, like it was just you both sitting there. Hands grasping for their skin, for their lips, for them. Because without them you couldn't live in this smoldering world, a bright light that cocooned you in its comforting warmth. Nothing like the blazing flames that surrounded the two of you.

You kissed them like they were the only thing that mattered.

“The sky’d be falling and I’d hold you tight.”

But you felt the shake in their hands as they pressed their hand against your back, scared to let you go, scared to lose you. Scared to let this kiss end and have to face the scorching reality.

“And there wouldn't be a reason why.”

You pressed one last kiss to their forehead, basking in their embrace once more between you broke away. The look on your face was confident as you faced them one last time, softened by their teary eyes. Whispering soft words to them, you could only watch as they broke down, a tight feeling in your chest urging you to do the same.

But no, you had to be strong. For them, for yourself, for all of Teyvat. You slowly turned to the flames and monsters, holding up your weapon, screaming one last battle cry as you let your weapon lead your actions. As you let death become your only objective in a flurry to protect your partner.

“We would even have to say goodbye.”

Sobs wretched out of their throat as they watched you crumble, watched you fall the ground and collapse. Till the movement of your chest came to an abrupt stop, and monsters pooled at your sides.

They were forced to watch, unable to move.

“If the world was ending you’d come over right?”

Their cries turned to whimpers, until they couldn't hear the noises that spilled form their lips. Until they didn't care. What they cared about was thrown on their battlefield, beaten and ragged, torn and broken.

Dead.

“You’d come over… right?”

_-_-_-_-_

Albedo

He takes his time, hand on the back of your neck pushing you so hard against him till he’s woozy. Memorizing the feel of your plush lips against his, molding them into memory with every kiss. He’ll break away from your lips, pressing soft pecks up your face, along your nose, to your forehead. Infatuated with the way your hands gently hold his face, careful, delicate. He doesnt want to let you go, and with one final peck right between your eyes, he’ll close his eyes, whispering a goodbye as you leave. He doesnt open them when you die, he doesnt open them when the monsters reach him. No, he dies in your embrace, even if its not real.

Barbara

Desperate, oh so desperate. She doesnt know what to do with you when you press your hands to her face, tearful. You’ll have to be the one to initiate the kiss, muffling her cries with a short lived sweetness between the two of you. She’ll have her hands all over you, unsure of how to hold you, how to press you against her. She wants to stay like this forever, and even if her kisses are sloppy and messy, she’s crying too much to notice. She won’t break away, you’ll have to tug your way out of her grip and press one last kiss to her forehead. Her voice is angelic, even when she cries. You remind yourself that this is what you’re protecting as you enter the battlefield, giving it your all.

Beidou

Oh she knows, knows how this will play out. The kisses shared between the two of you are strong and compassionate, its more intense than any other kiss you’ve both shared before. Because she knows. She knows what’ll become of you and her, that this is the last kiss she’ll share with you, that there's nothing she can do about it. She lets herself indulge in you, her strong hold on you never letting go until you vocally ask her to let you go. You make her promises she knows you can't keep, but simply smiles, telling you to come back to her.

Bennett

Awkward, his hands will grab your shoulders when you approach him, pressing for a kiss immediately. He misses his mark, accidentally pressing his lips to the edge of your lips, noses bumping against each other as he tries to shift his face. You chuckle, holding his face as you adjust the angle, till you can fully reach his lips and press him against you. Like Barbara, he’ll cry, letting himself melt into you. He doesnt resist when you back away, whispering to him. Just sitting there he’ll cry, sob through it all, vision blurry with tears. But its better that way, he can picture you better when everything is fuzzy.

Chongyun

Everything was smoldering hot, too much for Chongyun who has so much yang energy trapped in him. He’s going through one of his rushes when you get to him, eager to tuck you into his arms. His kisses are sporadic, like he’s trying to kiss you but he cant. Like no matter how much his lips meet yours, it isnt enough. He wants more, he wants the promise of your forever embrace ingrained in his head. And when you break away, he’s left empty, the kisses he’d given you the only warmth on his lips. Suddenly everything was cold, so cold, and he only wished for you.

Diluc

Too rough, mashing your lips against his until you couldn't breath. Dizzy with the lack of oxygen, he didn't stop. You were ‘his,' right here right now, no one could take you away from him. You belonged alongside him, crouched in front of him, pressed into his arms where he could keep you safe. He wouldn't let you go, strong arms pulling you to his chest so firmly that you couldn't escape. He wanted to be selfish, he let himself indulge in the promise to himself that you weren't going anywhere. You’ll have to physically break out yourself, pressing back his hands as he tries to make a grab for you, tears brimming.

Eula

You were her everything, and she’ll tell you it through her kisses. She’ll run her hands along the curve of your back, holding you tenderly against her. She doesn't wish for vengeance for all the soft kisses you’ve stolen from her good days long ago, no, she’s willing to forgive you for everything as long as you’ll ‘stay.’ She promises that in all honesty, she loves everything about you, even if she denies it sometimes. And when you leave, she tells you to come back. That its the one and only thing she’ll hold against you if you don't.

Kazuha

Soft, so incredibly sensual with every touch. Kazuha was always filled with words, filled with lovely compositions made for you and only you. But now, he couldn't think of anything, no haiku he’d written in the past that compared to what he felt right now. Metaphors and hidden meanings couldn't compare to the raw pulsing throb he felt in his chest. “I love you,” he whispered, plain and simple. It held so much affection, he was afraid even those words weren't enough to express what he felt, but he settled with it either way. “I love you,” he repeated, brushing your lips against his before he said it again. “I love you.” He said it again, even as you left, entering the battlefield. He didn't stop saying it, not when he saw the monsters take you, not when they approached him with the promise of death. “I love you.”

Kaeya

He doesnt kiss you, because kisses to Kaeya are a sort of affection that brings the sense of normalcy. He likes the way your lips feel against his, but holding you against him is more special. He doesnt depend on kisses to express what he feels, instead pushing your head to his chest, sighing when your own arms come to wrap around him. No kisses, no touches, just you and him. Offering each other your last shreds of hope, because in the end, you only need each other.

Ayaka

“Look at me.” Her hand cups your cheeks just as you do to her. Now you both simply stare into each others eyes, love and adoration filling hers. She loves you, oh she loves you so much. But she understands duty better than anyone, the urge to protect you almost consuming her. When she kisses you, its soft, butterfly kisses. She doesn't rely on the contact to keep her grounded, no holding your face is a gift enough for her. To stare at you, even for one last time, is all she needs. You’ve given her so much, she would follow you to the ends of the world if you asked her to, and that's why it hurts her so much to watch you fall. She closes her eyes, noticing that she’d follow soon after and perhaps see you in the afterlife. No, she would, that's a promise she makes to herself.

Ningguang

Ningguang has delt with loss before, the concept isnt foreign to her. But you… you’re more than the jade chamber, more than any possession she has. You’re precious, like she sold a piece of her heart to you that she could never gain back. You took it from her, and you plan to take it with you to the battlefield. All she can do is press her lips against yours. Kiss you and the world beside you both becomes meaningless, until air becomes a chore instead of a necessity. Because without air she'd kiss you forever.

Childe

Details, in the case that Childe himself cant fight alongside you, he’ll hold you and repeat the details in his head. The way his hand feels on your hair, how soft or rough your lips are against his. How you fit against him, how badass you look out in the battlefield. He won’t stop you from leaving him, because he knows that if this case was reversed, he’d want you to let him go too. So he presses intimate kisses, slow ones that dont consist of a fight for dominance like they usually do. No, he wants to tell you how much he loves you, one last time.

Venti

He doesnt know what to do, pressed against you firmly. He presses soft kisses, but theres no emotion, he doesn't know how to express himself here. He’s lost a lot, lost so much in his existence, but nothing prepared him for this. Only after a kisses will he ask to cry, and when you tell him yes he’ll press his head against your shoulder. He’ll sob, hands gripping the fabric of your shirt as he does so. And then he kisses you while tears stream down his face, mashes your lips against his until his face grows numb. And he’ll continue to feel numb when you leave, when you die, when he dies.

Xiao

He doesn't know what to do, Xiao has never felt so utterly useless when you crouch to him. Form battered and bruised, when you embrace him he feels whole again. You’re his world, he doesn't care about the blazing inferno just beside you, the monsters that threaten all of Teyvat. You are his everything, what he strives to protect and keep safe. Kisses with him are breathless, both of you passionately pulling each other closer. He cant get enough of you, he wants all of you, every single piece. Molded into his embrace until you cant get out. When you break away, he tries to pull you to him, but he finds himself only able to move in the slightest. But Xiao is a protector, he is ‘your’ protector. He follows you as you head to the battlefield, dragging his limp body in a crawl to get closer. He doesn't stop when he sees the monsters overtake you, no, he continues. Just until he reaches your body, grabbing you and holding your corpse into his chest. He numbs out the monsters that attack him, knowing sullenly that he's going to die. But death doesn't seem so bad, not beside you.

Zhongli

As someone who always has control over the situation, Zhongli will be able to adapt quickly. But he doesnt want you to suffer, admiring you for being so strong when everything presses against you. He wishes to relieve the weight if only a little bit with a few kisses. Sensual and intimate, he wants to support you, and if he cant do it on the battlefield he’ll do it right here. Hold you close and promise you that he’ll always be there for you. Only after you die does he allow himself to cry, not wanting to have burdened you with his tears.

[doexoeyes]

Strangely Stranger Things

(Part 2)

Summary: You & Steve Harrington? Well, stranger things have happened. Interdimensional monsters and all.

(Or in which the reader is a character in Stranger Things & this how I would incorporate them in the storyline).

Paring: Steve Harrington x Fem!reader

Warnings: Swearing, violence, a bit of suggestive dialogue.

Notes: This is part 2 of this series & it takes place during Season 3. Check out Part One before reading. Hope you enjoy♡

Season 3

You and Steve Harrington were living proof that the stranger, the better.

Never in a million years would either of you had thought that you’d end up dating, let alone be completely in love with each other.

Like literally devoted. Steve is like a love sick puppy around you, so inexplicably happy at being loved so fully and completely and by you. And you’re over the moon for Steve, butterflies and sparks every second you’re with him. Absolutely smitten.

The Loser and The Hair. Who would have thought.

Tammy Thompson is throwing a farewell party at her place and you and Steve attend, although he has made it impossible for you to even get out of the car.

He’s cupping your face, kissing you feverishly, one hand sneaking up inside your shirt while ‘True’ by Spandau Ballet played on the radio.

“Steve, come on..” you say as you tilt your chin away, although your words turn into a moan when he moves to place kisses down your neck.

“I can’t help it. You have me obsessed,” he mumbles into your skin, and you shiver at his confession.

“Mhm. We could have just stayed home then if this is how you wanted to spend the night,” you say, eyes rolling back when he sucks at your weak spot.

Your hands make their way into his hair, pulling at the strands. This elicits a groan from Steve, moving his hands down to slip his fingers under the waistband of your jeans.

“Mmm, not too late to turn back.”

You stiffen at this, gently pushing him away from you as you face him properly. “Steve, come on. This is probably your last high school party. You know, since the likely hood of me ever getting invited to one is very low,” you say, half joking.

You knew that when you’d go back to school without Steve there, you wouldn’t be as ‘respected’ as you were now. You knew the school would revert back to teasing or neglecting you, but you didn’t care. You had Steve at the end of the day and that’s all that mattered.

Steve looks at you with a pout, clearly unhappy at being torn away from you.

“I don’t know if I want to, actually. I think I prefer to make out with my girlfriend and have her make those beautiful sounds for me as I-”

“Is this about the college thing?” you ask him, a concerned frown on your face.

Sometimes it was a curse how well you knew him. He could never pull anything over you.

He sighs, slumping into his seat, hands running through his hair. “Im just gonna feel like shit when everyone starts talking about their futures. I already know I’m a loser. I don’t need it rubbed in my face,” he reveals.

Your heart breaks for Steve but you lean over to him, gentle hands on his cheeks as you tilt his head to face you. “Hey, you’re not a loser,” you say firmly, tone still maintaining its softness. “Getting into a stupid college does not measure your worth. You saved the whole freaking town for gods sake! And you’re the best baby sitter on the planet, hands down. You’re the most amazing person I know, Steve, and I know there’s other’s that feel the exact same way,” you state, smiling at him.

He looks at you silent for a moment, visibly thinking your words over.

“Besides, colleges are just a scam to trap us with student loans for the rest of our lives, enslaving us to the capitalistic world. And I’m not just saying that because my parents raised me to ‘stick it to the man’,” you say, and Steve laughs at that which makes your heart swell.

“What would I do without you?” he says sincerely, eyes looking into your’s with so much adoration that it makes your stomach do flips.

God, the effect that man has on you.

You kiss his forehead and his eyes close as he hums. “Hopefully you never have to find out,” you say with a wink, and he watches you move away from him with a dazed smile on his face.

With it being summer and all, you and Steve decide to both get jobs together at the Starcourt mall.

It was honestly not Steve’s decision per say, his dad forced him to get a ‘crappy mall job’ so he can ‘teach him a lesson’ on what happens to people who are ‘too stupid’ to get into college.

Those were his exact words. Sadly.

“Do you know how embarrassing that is? To have a dumbass for a son? What are you even good for, huh? You’re nothing but a disappointment. To me. To your mother. To everyone who has ever made the mistake of caring for you.”

His dad’s condescending words did a number on Steve, but you were right by his side, healing his wounds and giving him the encouragement and love he deserved.

“I love you so much. So, so much. And one day he’s going to realize that you’re a much better man the he will ever be,” you had said that night, both of you laying in your bed as you stroked Steve’s hair and held him in your arms as he cried silently on your chest.

That was the first time you had seen Steve cry, and though he resisted at first, your reassurance and kindness was enough to get him to let his guard down.

The next day he’s back to being all Steve-like, of course, not acknowledging last nights events, but you know that’s it’s a part of his process. You make sure to give him extra love and attention that day, and although he doesn’t tell you, he’s incredibly grateful.

Steve ends up getting a job at ‘Scoops Ahoy’, an ice cream shop at the food court, and you get one at ‘Tape World’, a music store on the second floor of the mall.

The best part? It was right across from Scoops Ahoy. So if you ever wanted to, you could poke your head out the store and wave at Steve (which you constantly do and he happily returns).

You’re the one thing keeping him going on the days when he feels like he’s going to explode. Especially since his coworker, Robin, seems to get her kicks out of humiliating him every chance she gets.

Despite this, you actually like Robin. You think she’s funny and has great taste in style and she gives you free ice cream when Steve is busy doing something in the back whenever you stop by.

“I still can’t believe you’re actually dating her, Harrington. You do realize she’s too cool for you, right?” Robin says one day as you walk out of the ice cream parlor.

Steve watches you walk away with a love sick smile, hand under his chin as he leans on the counter. “Yeah. I do,” he admits, Robin rolling her eyes at him.

Ew.

You actually end up liking your job at Tape World due to your love for music, but also because you’re coworker is a certain dark haired, d&d loving, rock & roll rebel.

Eddie Munson is the coolest person you have ever met and you’re genuinely surprised by how you both clicked so easily.

You knew him in school as Eddie ‘The Freak’ Munson, but you never really cared for labels as your given title of ‘The Loser’ made you very aware of how bogus they were. So you’re more than open minded about getting to know Eddie and you both end up bonding over your love for horror movies and your favorite bands.

He even introduces you to music you never heard before and lets you borrow his copy of ‘Lord of The Rings’ when you mention something about wanting to read a good book.

“So, you and Harrington, huh? What’s it like infiltrating the high and mighty of Hawkins High?” he asks one day as you organize a stack of tapes into their respected bins.

“Oh it’s insane. Did you know they have their own private bathroom with like a bathroom attendant? Along with a horse drawn carriage that takes them to and from classes. It’s crazy,” you joke with a mock scandalous tone.

“I knew it. Those bastards,” Eddie teases back and you both chuckle.

“Nah, Steve is just…he’s different. I mean, don’t get me wrong, he was a real fucking asshole for like 80% of the time he was there, but he was just being a stupid, insecure teenage. We can all be assholes when we’re insecure. Turns out though, he’s the most kindest, pure hearted person I know. And it’s like..he actually sees me, you know? I feel seen when I’m with him. And I’ve never really felt that way before,” you confess, teeth sinking into your lower lip, a little embarrassed by how honest you were.

Eddie, however, doesn’t make you feel ashamed at your vulnerability and instead gives you a small, understanding smile. “Yeah, I get it.”

He reaches down to the box in your hands and grabs a couple of tapes, helping you sort them as he says “But if Harrington ever breaks your heart, I’m going to make sure he doesn’t see anything ever again,” he states and you bump your shoulder into his playfully, the both of you cracking up.

Meanwhile, Steve gets involved in Dustin’s plan to translate a ‘secret Russian code’ he overheard on his ‘cerebro’.

Robin also becomes a part of it, able to crack the code in less than a day, but Steve refuses to let you in on what they’re doing, promising himself that if he were ever able to spare you from potential dangerous situations, he would.

This unfortunately starts to create a bit of tension between you and Steve, because when you would visit him at work now, he would act incredibly fidgety and suspicious.

You were starting to think that maybe he was starting to pull away from you. ‘Maybe King Steve is over with experimenting with The Loser,” the voice in your head, which sounded a lot like Carol, said. But you try to pay no mind to it because that’s absolutely ridiculous and you know Steve loves you.

…He loves you, right?

“Hey, so umm…they’re playing that new movie tonight. The one with the DeLorean time machine, and I was thinking we can go watch it. Like a date night?” you suggest, leaning over the counter, eyes on Steve.

You see his face twitch, a mixture of pity and guilt, before he plasters on that ‘Harrington smile’. “I’m sorry, babe. I can’t. I have to stay late tonight to…to..”

You frown at him, knowing very well that he’s searching for any possible excuse to give you. He seems to notice that you’re on to him and is about to drop the act altogether until Robin chimes in, emerging from the back room.

“To clean the freezer in the back! Yeah, dingus over here accidentally disconnected it this morning and all the ice cream that was in there melted. Huge mess. It’s like, an ice cream massacre in there,” she states, feigning annoyance, but you see right through it.

“Mhm. Totally,” you say dryly, not trying to hide your disbelief. You to turn to walk away but Steve grabs at your wrist.

“Hey, we can watch it tomorrow? I’m off at 5. And after we can go to the fair and then watch the fireworks. It’ll be the perfect date night, I promise,” he says, eyes almost pleading with you to accept as his thumb rubs smooth circles onto your wrist.

You watch him in silence for a moment, chewing on your bottom lip before mustering up the tiniest smile. “Sure. Tomorrow sounds good.”

The smile isn’t convincing and Steve feels his chest drop as you slip your hand out of his grip, walking off without a proper goodbye.

He’s completely distracted by the thought of you all day, causing him to be more tightly wound up than usual. He even manages to snap at Robin, which throws her off because despite her constant teasing, Steve has not once been genuinely upset by it.

“I’m sorry, it’s just…I really can’t lose her,” Steve confesses to Robin when she asks him about it. “She’s the greatest thing in my entire life and if I lose her over this stupid Russian thing then I’m going to lose myself,” he says with a sigh, running a hand through his hair.

“Look, I know I said she’s too cool for you, and although that is true, she’s clearly head over heels for you. I just think she’s a bit weirded out over how off you’ve been acting. She can tell you’re hiding something from her. Maybe it’s better if you just tell her the truth.”

Steve immediately shakes his head. “No, I can’t. Because if I do then she’s going to want to be involved and she’s infuriatingly hard headed and as long as I’m a part of this, she’s going to want be too, no matter what I say. And I’m not putting her through danger. Not again.”

Truth is, ever since last fall, when Billy Hargrove broke your arm, he’s been living with the guilt of it being his fault. If he wasn’t so pathetic, then Billy would have never gotten into the house and hurt you the way he did. Your screams replayed in his head most nights, along with the voice of his dad letting him know that he was a disappointment to everyone who has ever made the mistake of caring for him.

You made the mistake of loving him. Which was even worse.

That night Steve, Robin, Dustin, and now Erica, are fully involved in their plan but become trapped in a secret elevator overnight and then kidnapped by Russian soldiers.

It’s in the interrogation room that Steve realizes that’s he’s probably not going to make it to your date.

As if that should be his biggest worry at the moment.

The truth is, Steve could be at the brink of death, and his thoughts would still be on you.

He pictures you in his mind as the soldiers torture him relentlessly. He thinks of your smile and the way your eyes light up when your excited and how you make him laugh more than he has his entire life and how your lips on his make him feel like the luckiest person in the world.

His eye is swollen and he’s spitting up blood but he still doesn’t break because you’re the one he’s doing this for. He’s not going to let you down this time.

When he passes out finally, he’s put into a room with Robin. Flash forward to the drugs they were given and the alarm going off right before Steve’s nail is pulled, and the gang finally escapes once Dustin and Erica come to their rescue.

They escape and take refuge inside the movie theatre where they’re seated coincidentally at the movie you wanted to watch.

“Hey! This is the movie y/n wanted to see! Where is she ?!” he shouts, and the audience shushes him harshly as Robin turns around to shush them back.

“They’re all just jealous. Ignore them,” she reassures him, crossing her arms across her chest as she sinks into her seat. “In fact, I’m kinda jealous too…” she mutters in her stoned stupor.

Steve is high as a kite and he knows it but he swears he sees you walking up the aisle and exiting the theatre so he decides to follow you out. Robin in tow, of course.

It’s not you, to the disappointment of Steve, and he actually lets out a whine of disappointment. He’s about to run around to find you (because he absolutely must apologize and explain that he didn’t ditch you, he just got kidnapped and tortured by Russians) until he gets distracted by the lights on the ceiling. They leave Robin mesmerized as well, but they both eventually get dizzy and dash to the bathroom to puke.

“God, I’m gonna lose her, aren’t I,” Steve says in between dry heaves. He hears the sound of the toilet in the stall next to him flush before Robin speaks up. “So what if you do? You’ll just move on to the next like you always do.” she claims and Steve frowns.

“It doesn’t work like that when you’re in love, Robin.” he says and there’s a pause from her. “You..love her? Like, for real?”

“Yeah. I do. I mean, I thought I was in love once before, but now I know I was wrong. This is what love really feels like, and I would rather be tied up in a chair and have my face bashed in again then lose it. I’m…I’m gonna marry her someday,” he reveals, leaning his back against the stall door.

“Wow. I just always thought that guys like you took that for granted. The fact that you can openly love whoever you want. I mean, you’re Steve Harrington. Your with a new girl every semester.”

“Maybe. But that’s not who I am anymore,” he answers simply. “And what do you mean I can openly love whoever I want? You can do that too, you know,” he says and his brows furrowed when there’s no response from her.

“Robin?” He chooses to slide into her stall and catches Robin sitting with her arms wrapped around her knees, back to the wall.

“That’s the thing. I can’t. I don’t know if I ever will.”

He eyes her, confused. Robin goes on to explain exactly why she was jealous of Steve back in school, and it all clicks for him.

The fear in her eyes are evident and there’s a tense moment of silence as she can visibly see Steve process it all before he finally responds.

“I mean, yeah. Tammy Thompson, you know, she’s cute and all, but…she’s a total dud.”

And the conversation surprisingly ends with them laughing and singing like muppets and Robin decides that she was wrong when she said you’re too cool for Steve.

Turns out, he’s pretty cool too.

Meanwhile, after accepting that Steve wasn’t going to make it to the movie, you had been walking around the mall when you realized you had forgotten your Walkman at work.

“Shit,” you muttered as you looked at your watch, realizing that the mall was closing. Thankfully, you had a key to the store and was sure your manager wouldn’t mind if you just really quickly grabbed your Walkman and left.

You do exactly that, making sure not to move anything out of place, but just as you finish locking the gate, you hear a car going off. “What the..” as you lean over the railing to see what’s going on, you notice a car lifting up the the air and barreling towards a group of men holding guns.

“What the hell!” you shout, and you suddenly see familiar faces looking across from you on the first floor.

“Y/n!” Steve calls out to you, and you immediately run down to the first floor, eyes widening when you see the state of Steve’s face. “Steve! Oh my gosh, what the hell happened?!” you say as you bolt towards him, immediately caressing his face in your hands, checking his injuries.

“Hey, I’m ok, I promise. It’s a long story involving Russians and a silver cat and a secret elevator but I need you to know that the reason why I’ve been acting so weird lately is because I didn’t want to get you involved,” he admits, words rushing out of him like word vomit.

You look overwhelmed and confused for a moment, but just as you’re about to respond, the rest of the gang shows up, including Jonathan who you immediately envelop in a hug.

“You’re crushing me,” Jonathan states, but you shake your head, ignoring him. “I feel like I haven’t seen you all summer,” you state, and he chuckles softly as he embraces you back. “Yeah, I know.”

After pulling away, you hear the rest of the group get reacquainted, listening to every detail you so obviously missed before this. Just as you’re about to ask Steve to elaborate further, Eleven collapses on the ground.

Turns out the Mind Flayer was back and it has possessed Billy Hargrove and taken victims from Hawkins. While battling it, a piece of the Mind Flayer had gotten inside of Eleven and now it needed to be taken out. You watch in disgust as Jonathan attempts to cut it out of her, but Eleven finishes the job herself, levitating it out of her leg and throwing it on the other side of the room.

That’s where Joyce, Hopper, and Murray come in.

As Eleven rests and the rest of the gang plan out their next move, you take the time to confront Steve.

“I just don’t understand why you would keep something from me. Russians or no Russians, we’re supposed to tell each other everything,” you state, clearly hurt.

“I know, and I’m sorry, but I knew this would put you in danger. And I honestly can’t imagine what it would have been like knowing you were in the same situation as I was. I don’t want you to ever get hurt again. Not if I can stop it,” he explains, and your brows furrow.

“Is this about what happened that night. With…with Billy?” you ask, swallowing down the lump in your throat.

Steve looks at you with sad eyes, confirming your suspicions. “I will never let something like that happen to you again. I couldn’t stop it then but I will now,” he promises and your chest aches.

“Steve…I love you. And I love how much you care about me. But you can’t keep things from me, or lie to me in order to do that. You need to let me make my own decisions. You need to trust me,” you say, eyes pleading with him. He looks at you with his big brown eyes and that look that makes you want to melt. You’re the most important person in the world to him and you can feel it when he looks at you that way.

“Okay. I trust you,” he says and leans in to kiss you gently. Your hand instinctively cups his cheek as the kiss deepens but he pulls away with a small hiss.

“Oh my gosh I’m so sorry, I forgot,” you say, hands over your mouth as you remember the state of his face. He chuckles and kisses the top of your nose, reassuring you that it was ok.

“Steve, come on! We gotta go!” Dustin calls out to him, and Steve grabs your hand, ready to lead you with him, but you pull away. “Actually, I’m gonna stay with Jonathan and Nancy and the rest of the kids,” you state.

You can see the way his mouth is ready to protest but you flash him a pleading look and he immediately drops whatever he was going to say. Instead he sighs and wraps his arms around you in a tight embrace. “Just promise you’ll be careful. No putting yourself in stupid, risky situations for no reason, ok?” he asks and you smile softly, nodding and hugging him back. “I promise.”

When the group separates, you, Jonathan, and Nancy work on getting the car started out in the parking lot. You get in the drivers seat while Nancy and Jonathan check the engine.

“Hey, you didn’t have to stay with me and Nancy, you know,” Jonathan begins to say, approaching you. “You could have gone with Steve if you wanted. We coulda done this by ourselves,” he reassures you, hands scratching at the back of his neck.

“Maybe, but I need to make sure that my best friend survives the night. Especially since we have movie night coming up on Friday and it’s my turn to choose,” and he chuckles at this. “Hey, you know I love you, right? And you’re like so important to me and I’m just sorry that this summer we have haven’t been able to hang out as much as we used to, but you’re still my best friend and I wouldn’t ever want to los-“

“I love you too,” he interrupts, giving you a sincere smile that lights up his eyes. You smile back.

“Dork,” he mutters under his breath and you snort, flicking your middle finger at him jokingly until a roar of an engine catches both your attention.

As if meant to interrupt all the peace and happiness you’d been feeling after days of anxiety, Billy Hargrove is seated in his car, engine sputtering and roaring like an animal ready to pounce. Even from inside the car you can see his deranged expression, the anger in his eyes. You were let in on the fact that the Mind Flayer had possessed Billy, but it still didn’t lessen the hatred you had for him.

You abort the original plan and run back inside of the mall, where Jonathan attempts to start the car that Elven had thrown at the Russian soldiers. But then the Mind Flayer literally crashes in and ruins any hope of getting that thing to start.

Meanwhile, Dustin’s trying desperately to get in contact with you all but to no avail. This causes Steve to grow anxious, knowing that if no one was answering, then something was very wrong.

He runs off with Robin to go back to the mall to try to save you all, praying to the universe that you were fine and he would make it in time.

You all eventually manage to escape out of the mall, but you notice that Billy is still outside in his car, ready to drive right into you all.

Nancy orders Jonathan to start the car and the kids pile up inside, but as you look towards Billy, all you can do is remember that night at the Byers’ house, when he grabbed your arm and slammed you into the table. When he put his filthy tongue on your neck. When he said those awful words to you. When he made you feel so helpless and weak; a feeling you never wanted to experience again in your life.

You spent months with a cast after he broke your arm, a constant reminder of that terrible feeling. You knew it was the reason why Steve saw you differently now. Why he feels the need to protect you so much.

You refused to be seen as weak ever again. You will not let Billy get his way.

Nancy is screaming at you to get inside as she stands with her gun pointed towards Billy, but you don’t move an inch.

“Nancy, give me the gun,” you demand.

“What?! Are you out of your mind right now?!” she shouts, looking at you as if you grew an extra head.

“Nancy, just give me the gun and get in the fucking car!” you bark and something flashes in her eyes as she looks at you and then back at Billy.

Understanding.

She gives you the gun as she heads to the passenger side of the car and you stand with your hand on the trigger. Billy starts the car, speeding towards you and you immediately shoot. Bullet after bullet pierces through the glass but he continues to accelerate towards you. Despite the fact that he’s most definitely going to crash into you, you stand your ground to the very end, and just as he’s about to hit you, a car suddenly crashes right into him, forcing him out of the way.

You watch with wide eyes as you realize that the driver of the car that saved your lives was Steve, and you let out a sigh of relief before racing towards the trunk for you to sit in. Nancy drives over to Steve and Robin so they can get in, just as the Mind Flayer appears once more.

Once inside the trunk, you embrace Steve, who’s quick to embrace you back but not before exclaiming “you broke your promise! this is exactly what I meant by not putting yourself in stupid, risky situations!”

You all watch anxiously as the Mind Flayer tries to gain on you all, but the sound of Dustin and his very much real girlfriend Susie singing ‘Never Ending Story’ on the walkie is a welcomed mood changer. Despite everyone giving you a strange look for singing along. “Oh please, don’t act like you don’t know it,” you state with a roll of your eyes.

You all make it back to the mall and see the Mind Flayer collapse, a sign that the gate was successfully closed, which signaled the end of all this. You spot Max hovering over Billy’s body, understanding that he hadn’t survived. Although your anger towards Billy over what he did to you may never go away, you wouldn’t wish death upon anyone, and your heart ached for Max and her loss.

That night, you stay over at Steve’s. His parents are gone for the week and you’re both very clearly out of a job given the destruction of the mall, so the night turns into a few days and you spend your time holding one another, crying, healing, and trying to enjoy one another’s company.

Along with the death of Billy, you were all informed that Hopper did not make it either, and with that, the Byers’ were moving out of Hawkins and all the way to California. Which meant that the only people who made you feel like you had an actual family, were leaving you.

Steve reassured you that they wouldn’t be gone from your life and that you could always go and visit during breaks and holidays. And although you knew that was a possibility, it still didn’t lessen the pain you felt at once again having someone leave.

“Steve?” you call out to him softly, your head laying on his chest as his arms held you. “Yes?” he murmurs into your hair. “Promise you won’t leave me?” you ask, voice watery as tears trailed down your cheeks.

Steve immediately lifts his head up, causing you to do the same in order to look into his eyes. “Never. I will never leave you. I promise,” he swears, and the look in his eyes tells you he means it.

“Hey, I know what will make you feel better,” he says after a moment of laying in silence together. He gets up from the bed and turns on his cassette player, the opening chords of ‘Separate Ways’ by Journey plays and you sit up from the bed, raising a brow at him. “Really?”

“It’s your favorite song,” he claims as he air guitars and a smile breaks out on your face as you giggle. “No, that’s your favorite song.”

“Mine? Are you sure?” he asks, and he walks over to you and grabs your hands pulling you out of the bed with him.

“Here we stand

Worlds apart, hearts broken in two, two, two”

He sings to you and you’re a giggling mess, Steve laughing along with you before head banging as he begins to bounce up and down, moving your arms around with him.

“Feelin' that it's gone

Could change your mind

If we can't go on

To survive the tide, love divides”

Steve’s energy is contagious and you can’t help but sing along with him, both of you jumping up on the bed and shouting out the words to one another.

“Someday, love will find you

Break those chains that bind you

One night will remind you

How we touched and went our separate ways

If he ever hurts you

True love won't desert you

You know I still love you

Though we touched and went our separate ways”

Steve grabs onto you and makes you both fall onto the bed. You squeal, a mess of giggles as he lays several kisses on your face. “I love you,” he says, forehead resting against yours.

“I love you,” you recite back, gazing at him with pure adoration. In that moment, nothing else mattered. Just the two of you in your own little world. A world where nothing or no one could hurt you.

Little did you know, there was something lurking around the corner, getting ready to deliver more hurt than you could possibly imagine.

“Though we touched and went our separate ways”