#like you cant just put a cute goat in your games you have to warn me first

[mossheadgf]

yall hes so cute i cant TT^TT

[lillian-nator]

please do more backyard au hcs this sounds lovely

PEOPLE AND AGES - Tommy (5) Kindergarten - Techno (11) 6th grade - wilbur (18) Senior - Tubbo (4) Kindergarten - Schlatt (19) Just Graduated, goes to Community college - SapNap (7) First grade - Punz (13) 7th grade - Dream (12) 8th grade - Gogy (15) Sophomore - Ranboo (6) Kindergarten - Fundy (15) Freshman - Niki (16) junior - Puffy (17) Senior - Purpled (5) Kindergarten - Big Q (14) 8th grade - Karl (13) 7th grade ----------------------- SPECIES AND RELATIONSHIPS (put into friend groups) - Tubbo (Ram, Schlatt's son) - Tommy (Racoon) - Ranboo (enderman, kind of a street kid) - Purpled (Purple Sheep, Dream and Puffy's younger brother) - SapNap (Demon, Bad's son, Punz's baby brother)

- Techno (Piglin) - Dream (Ram, Puffy's younger brother) - Punz (demon) - Gogy  (Mooshroom) - Big Q (Duck) - Karl (Parrot hybrid)

- Wilbur (Blue Jay) - Schlatt (Ram) - Puffy (sheep - Schlatt's cousin) - Niki (fish? mermaid?) - Fundy (Fox) ----------------------- I think that Philza minecraft just slowly keeps finding kids in his backyard, and he slowly grows very attached to all of them Just like every afternoon his backyard is FLOODED with kids And he doesn’t understand why he’s the house everyone goes to, but he’ll feed them He just slowly finds himself being really endeared by each of them ------------------- And before he knows it, Phil’s warning SapNap and Ranboo away from the water, and balancing Purpled and Tommy on his hips And he knows all their allergies And all their favorite foods And he’s keeping track of the high schoolers grades, bringing Dream, punz, and techno to their games  ----------------- CARPOOL SOCCER MOM Mr. Philza Minecraft --------------------- Dream: Basketball Punz: Football Techno: Baseball Puffy: Softball Small children: Baby Soccer -------------------------- - Phil keeps track of all of boys'  games and practices. Because goddamn it, these kids deserve some sort of parental guidance - Dream, purpled, and Puffy don’t have present parents - Puffy had to step up to the plate - Ranboo’s a street kid - No one really knows if he has anyone - Bad just chilling in hell ---------------------------- Schlatt is really working himself thin, but he tries hard, he really does And everyone can see how much he loves Tubbo Sometimes Phil will wake up and see schlatt passed out on their couch. He got off at midnight But as soon as he gets home from work, Tubbo is immediately in his Dad’s arms Schlatt animatedly talking to the boy But you can just see how much love he has for his boy He’s just a bit too young to bare the burden alone ------------------------------ And the thing is, is that all of these kids are so like, independent Like Phil just needs to feed them And tend to the youngest ones every so often ------------------------------- I think it’s like musical chairs To see who’s sleeping at Phil’s house in the morning Like - who’s on the couch? An air mattress? Guest bed? Sharing a room with one of his kids? All of the small children like to pile around SapNap, who is also a small child, cause he’s warm Punz also always has children flocking him ------------------------------- Punz is also that teen who throws the kids in the pool he cant go into the water himself, prefering to lay on the grass and in the sun, but he does love just chucking kids in ------------------------------- Phil drives a beat up mini van. It’s baby blue It's always filled to the brim with passengers very dirty many crumbs has balls just thrown in it all the time Footballs, basketballs, baseballs, soccer balls it fucking smells, we all know it does Phil owns like 4 of those kid car seats despite only having one kid in that age group ---------------------------- Also if you couldn't tell Niki basically lives in the pool she's a fish hybrid so its a salt water pool instead of chlorine because its better for Niki --------------------------- Tommy, Tubbo, purpled, Ranboo, and SapNap play baby soccer its the best part of this au It’s so adorable, and Tommy picks at flowers the entire time Sometimes. Ranboo will come and entertain him for a little. Try and get him back in the game. He gives up when Tommy sits down tho Ranboo will more often then not join Tommy cause mmmm grass Tubbo is insanely competitive as a little kid we been knew though When he gets older Tommy gets really into it But as a baby He just chases bugs Plus he’s a raccoon hybrid, so shiny ------------------------ HE HOARDS SHIT UNDER HIS BED IS A MESS he as in fucking baby racoon Tommy whats the word for baby racoon small baby kit Phil 1000% calls him kit BABY RAMS ARE CALLED BUCKS FUCKING EVERYONE CALLS TUBBO "BUCK" THATS SO CUTE IM LOSING MY SHIT Things go lost? Go check tommys room Bermuda Triangle of a bedroom Very much like - Phil has to have a talk with him about it And he’s like “ I know you feel like you have to take them Kit, but they’re not yours” “If you want it, just ask me and I’m

sure we can figure something out.” Tommy also loses interest as soon as he gains it tho Tommy chitters at them They nod liek they understand and go “Uh huh, sounds mighty interesting Kit,” And then they pick him and let him climb around them -------------------------------- So much rough housing like SO much they're hybrids man Tommy also teethes ok. Chews on shit when his canines grow in so does Techno, and SapNap, and Punz (Punz and Techno's canines already grew in though, but they still chew on shit) The rams Rub their heads against stuff Head Itchy ------------------------------- A lot of Phil’s days off are just spent by the babies, just who are growing in hybrid traits He scratches Tubbo, sapnaps, and Puroled heads They’re all growing in horns Gives Tommy things to chew on Purpled. Never gets full horns. They are always little stubs just barely sticking out of his hair. His ears looks more human than ram too. Just for some reason never really grew into his hybrid traits And purple eyes He gets so upset about it too, when Tubbos horns outgrow his, because he’s older He’s a bit different. But it’s like being brunette in a family of blondes. It’s not unheard of He just is tearing up and Phil is just like “oh Bud, come ‘ere” They're like 8 And Tommy just gives Purpled the biggest hug, because Tommy is a sweetheart as a kid ------------------- I think that even the older kids wrestle Like obviously Dream, Techno and the rest of the middle school gang do Because they’re so fucking competitive Dream is so quick to just. Grab someone and wrestle them to the floor No warning But like, you’ll catch Wilbur and Schlatt jumping at each other Or Wilbur throwing Fundy over his shoulder Or anyone just man handling gogy ------------------- Phil gets to a point where he calls them all his kids And asks where they are when they aren’t At his house ------------------------ Puffy bringing them (Dream and Purpled) over after school. They go outside and play. Puffy sighs and collapses at the dining table. Phil silently hands her a coffee. “I’ll keep em busy” he says “you get some homework done” She looks up, and puts her head in her hand, “Dream has basketball practice in an hour” Phil just pats  her on the back. “I got it.” ----------------- Also let’s talk about how much food Phil needs to buy Like even if it’s just lunch That’s like 15 growing boys He can afford it, He just has to watch out for allergies He buys so many fucking snacks man Whole damn store He goes through like crates of those little chip variety packs Tubbo only likes the crunchy Cheetos Tommy likes barbecue Niki likes salt and vinegar Punz likes Doritos He knows which ones they all like I’m just imagining Phil calling out for the kids And they’re like lining out of the kitchen Oldest to youngest so that Phil can help the little ones They can eat anywhere in the yard, but Ohil has the little ones eat at the picnic table They’re all dripping wet from coming out of the pool, and he needs to make sure they eat their fruit and popsicles, they have tons of popsicles. ------------------ Phil totally takes Dad tax Like a chip from every plate And a tatertot from each breakfast very dad of him to do ------------------- Not not Phil kissing each of their foreheads goodbye And “drive safe” And “have a good day" ------------------ He’ll still pick up Texhno And Dream and Punz, right by the armpits And tucks them into bed ----------------- Tommy when he gets wet He loves swimming but the poor baby: his fur It’s hard to get him in the water but once he’s in it’s hard to get him out Because he feels all heavy and sticky afterwards ------------------ Adventures in the woods TOMMY IN HID NATURAL HABITAT Small boy makes hidey hole You may be asking Does. Does Tommy crunch on the leaves He does Like on ever y single one Carefully -------------------- All of the little kids And even technos group Just bonk heads Because of the goats They all just do it Sometimes softly Sometimes roughly Techno always does it roughly tho Rough houser Dream doesn’t mind Makes it feel like he has a

herd Feeds a primal instinct for ram playmates Feeds a primal instinct for ram playmates - Small boy And puffy has outgrown it But a young piglin brute? Perfect playmate. ------------------------- AND THATS THE AU YOU'RE WELCOME

[collxpsedhexrt]

Matchup tingsss 🥺👉👈

just a warning i type this in a shit post format bc im too scared to talk about myself in a grammatically correct manner because i hate myself

huge note: my type is BIG w big ol shoulders and big and tall and did i mention big so yeah cuddles ok thanks bye i also updated a photo of me- bc i suck at describing my appearance

👀

👄

ok so anyways lets a gO

NOTE: i dont label my sexuality sorry idc who to swing for ion like swinging i like hugging thanks ok bye also im EXTREMELY mentally and emotionally unstable haha ok thanx 🥺😳💅

꧁𝙰𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎꧂

I am 163cm and 190lb (I am also very peculiar about knowing my exact measurements, height, and weight all the time?? Confusion???)

I am one pasty ass bitch despite being (excuse the lele pons moment) LaTiNa👁👄👁,,, I have very long warm black hair that is either wavy or borderline kinky curls no in between,,,, I have amber eyes and have FrEcKlEs everywhere but not like super intense,,, i could probably put a photo (and i will at the end-) bc idk how to describe my ugly ass morbidly obese bleached walrus headass face tbh??

Not to be an annoying basic bitch but i supposedly have an hourglass figure but im more plump so ig i have a more motherly appearance- idk tbh my body dysmorphia says i look like patrick star on my 600lb life so lets get poggers in the chat, tea?? tea sis?? who’d knock me tf up im ugly doe ahaha 👁👄👁

꧁𝙿𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚢꧂

hngh i never stop apologizing- even if u knock me down multiple times ill keep going back to you and forgiving you, and thats on daddy issues

im an empath and like a lot of spiritual stuff like tarot and stuff,,, wont get too into it bc im inexperienced

GIFTED.CHILD.BURNOUT.

also bc i like gaming i can be “one of the bros” and tbh i LOVE being a semi-stereotypical jock-like gamer boy like “oHH YEASAH *crushes soda can on my head* GAMING TIME BOOOYYYYSSS” and i kinda forget im a girl sometimes bc i (gross warning) can like,,, burp wit da bois 😳👉👈,,,,

I am an INFJ-T (the T means im a shitshow!) and ion wanna get too much into my uh,,, issues w/ eating,,,, but basically lets say it causes a lot of dizziness on my end but like im still obese so its ok lol

also im like,,,,, the runt of the group like literally nobody likes me (at least thats what i tell myself aHEM-)

and also i have eXTREEEEEEEME trust issues like holy fuck nobody can catch a break

Oh shit wait i should say idk what i am in terms of sexuality literally nothing fits me ahaha but i am an afab female lady girl as far as i know bc im not currently in a safe place to explore these things, Jimbo!

also im so sorry for being messy im spacing things out so it can be an organized mess im so so sorry i love you anf thank you for taking your time to read this i love you and appreciate you!!

I am a libra sun, and a pisces moon and rising so that means im a crybaby bitch but to the third power (^3)

oh shit yeah im also a hufflepuff

basically i like to make everyone laugh and im not good with serious shit but when it comes down to it sometimes i can take on a maternal role when comforting friends but u will never get me to admit it..... wait-

꧁𝙷𝚘𝚋𝚋𝚒𝚎𝚜꧂

ART ART AND MORE ART OH MY GOD FUCK OH GOD OH FUCK SO MUCH ART- im specifically into the character design and i actually plan on going into game development in coolegg

👁👄👁👉👈

i havent sang seriously in like,,,, years tho bc my choir teacher kicked me out the choir bc my brother was having a life saving surgery the day of a performance anD I NEVER FORGOT IT KAREN. meaning ion let shit go like that bc im an insecure and emotionally broken biTCH

ok i love games- from little big planet, outlast 1/2, detroit become human, beyond two souls, TO OVERWATCH YES I LOVE YOU OVERWATCH, and aminal crossigng uwu

ok so anyways i mean yeah uh,,, i also like writing poetry sometimes and writing but im like yuri (ddlc) and cant help but be borderline pretentious with using over complicated words despite my shit grammar here lol

but yeah

i also live on a farm and i love taking care of my chickens duckies turkies andn pheasants mvmvmbm,,,, i lvoe themn,,,,fhfjdjd,,, OMG I USED TO HAVE GOATS AND GUINEA HENS BUT FUCKINGNG CORONA VIRUS MADE IT HARD TO CARE FOR THEM SO WE HAD TO SELL THEM AND HMMMMMMM ANGERY

but on another note i hav doggies and uwu!!! they v cute best dogeis ever 100/10 recommend these dogies,,,,

꧁𝙽𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚑𝚢 𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜꧂

im a hermit and quarantine is just fun to me

I have a high pitched voice so my friends deemed me the god of anime voice thank u

But honestly i find my voice creepy, it’s as if my voice is ghostly and haunting. That’s in real life, but say we called on discord.... I’m loud and obnoxious but i always make people laugh, only when im on a call like that does my personality change so much.

im an amazing host tbh,,, “Hey- I have tea, coffee, coffee with foam, water, milk, juice, soda, and i could make you some food!” “Do you want some popcorn? Are you sure? Do you need a blanket? Would you like for me to turn on the humidifier?” I WILL SPOIL PPL ROTTEN WITH LOVE AFFECTION FOOD AND DRINKS GALORE

“hhnngh,,, maybe if im good enough of a host it will fill the void,,,”

oh also i have a weird accent bc im puerto rican

👁👄👁✨

UPDATE: ADDED LIKES/DISLIKES!!! and love tings

꧁𝙻𝚘𝚟𝚎꧂

my love language is physical touch mainly but i can channel it through making food n stuffs uwu

I rarely if ever fall in love. but when i do, i crash hard. I become putty in the person’s hands, willing to take (metaphorical) beating after beating and insults and cruelty just for their love to be reciprocated. I become totally helpless and obsessive, memorizing their schedule and things they like. Treasuring every memory of when we can be physically close to one another, platonically or not... I become my “best self” and my performance rate drastically increases, but my mental state drastically decreases. I become horribly depressed and anxious, always making meticulously calculated movements and always showing that im willing to support them with everything.

I particularly have a thing for tall guys with big shoulders.

꧁𝙻𝚒𝚔𝚎𝚜/𝙳𝚒𝚜𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎𝚜꧂

OK THIS IS UNDERRATED BUT I LOOOVE PEWDIEPIE PLEASE DONT HATE ME I JUST LOVE HIS HUMOR ANDN,,,,, 🥺👉👈

god i just- idk i have mixed feelings abt amberlynn reid bc obviously shes super hurt n stuff but shes done so much crap i just HNNGNHH,,,, ANGERY,,, but i show support sometimes but i aint ever giving her my money by subscribing

I also like (cue the angry mob) fnaf-

homestuck and harry potter r also LIFE

i dont like when ppl are egotistical unless theyre charming,,,, bc if theyre charming i 100% feed their ego.

i HATE when people do self destructive things (IM A FUCKING HYPOCRITE) like “NO- nO dont fRICKIN do that- BAD. here, let me make you some food...”

anyways heres that promised picture if this ugly mug

[anastasiaskarsgard]

So here’s AU single dad Mark, you can see the vibe his picture inspired here (who is inspired by a real person loosely)

Warning: cursing, mention of drugs and sex. Mention of violence.

“Doctor, you have one last appointment and then you’re free! New puppy needs vaccines and looks very healthy. The guy is seriously dreamy so just mentally prepare yourself for that.” My receptionist Ashley said as she handed me the file. “They’re in number 2.”

I glanced over the file and audibly groaned, drawing both receptionists attention. “I know Mark! Shit! I hope he didn’t recognize my name and come here on purpose. To be quite honest though, I don’t think he’ll even remember me.”

Ashley leaped from her chair to get close enough to whisper, “I need the deets Doc! Did you have a one night stand with him? Or lose your v card to him at prom? Or oh my gosh! did you choose your career over him and left him behind for vet school?”

“Stop reading smut on the internet, and come back to reality. He was 2 years older than me and talked to me one time at a party, informing me that I had potential if I would dress more like a girl, and less like a veterinarian. I doubt he’ll remember it tho.” I chuckled, shaking my head, “Get back to work.” I said as I walked over to room 2, taking a deep breath before opening the door, coming face to face with Mark. He was still drop dead gorgeous.

“My bad, I thought you’d come thru the other door. Dakota, Danielle. Please sit down nice for the Doctor, so your puppy doesn’t get nervous.”

Mark tried to wrangle his two small children to sit down, but at around 2-4 years old, that wasn’t gonna happen. I wondered what girl had snatched up Mark as I checked the puppy out.

“Oh my — kids earmuffs— “ Mark verified both children were in fact covering their ears before turning back to me with a big cheesy smile on his face. “No fucking way! You seriously became a veterinarian!” He exclaimed chuckling.

“Well you gave me the idea, so I just ran with it, “ I said with a smirk.

“Oh my God. You remember I said that? I was a punk, I’m sorry. I just had a thing for you and you’d always ignore me or blow me off, every time I tried to get your attention.”

“I don’t recall you ever trying to get my attention. I do recall you ignoring me.”

“No. I didn’t even have any classes in the portables and I’d go hang out over there and always say what’s up as you’d walk by. I went to all your basketball games and you never once acknowledged my existence and I tried to talk to you in the library a couple times and you would always shoosh me.”

“ well that’s what you’re supposed to do in a library. Also, going into the general vicinity of someone, and expecting them to know somehow that you’re there for them, isn’t very obvious, especially considering the one time you speak to them you tell her that she has potential but dresses like a veterinarian, which is pretty cool if you ask me.” I giggled. Oh sweet mother of God, I giggled. He was so hot, my brain was malfunctioning. Eventhough he was most likely full of shit and trying to get a discount or something, it was wild to think, I was so intimidated by him, I refused to entertain the idea that he might actually like me. It was pretty hilarious. “Looks like you found your happily ever after anyways. Who’s the lucky lady? Anyone I know?”

“Huh?” He looked confused for a few couple beats and then it dawned on him. “Oh yeah I got two awesome mini mes.”

“We’re the 3 musketeers!” A little voice squeaked out.

“Oh sorry. I just figured 2 kids that use ear muffs and the designer dog, someone had domesticated you.” I said looking up to see Mark blush.

“Remember Anna Winters? That’s his mommy and—“

“I don’t mean to interrupt Mark, but could I borrow your little musketeers to feed some newborn puppies that were dumped here? Then we can have a few minutes to catch up. I think you’re my last appointment. Do you mind? The girls and I do it, but they look like they’re good little helpers.”

Both children leaped out of their seats and started jumping up and down pleading to let them help so Mark agreed. I called Ashley in and she was super enthusiastic about having helpers, till she realized Mark wasn’t coming too. As soon as they closed the door, I turned to Mark.

“Thought it would be best if they didn’t hear adult conversations, especially involving their mother.”

“Mothers.”

“I kinda figured since your little girl looks possibly Latina?”

Mark nodded his head. “Yeah So Anna is a full fledged crackhead out in LA or something last I heard. Who knows? She might even be dead. She left him with me when he was a week old and never came back.”

“Wow! What a deplorable human being! But then you had naked time with a lady again, and she got pregnant too huh?” I teased. “Maybe no one told you how this works...”

“No I get it. Danielle’s mom was Dakota’s babysitter, and she just never really went away and it was convenient, and she cleaned and took care of Dakota. But she stopped taking birth control unbeknownst to me, and she winds up pregnant, wanting to get married.”

“So Wait! I know this part! You being the most romantic motherfucker on the planet, was like let’s go to Disneyland and get married in the castle right before the fireworks go off!” I had to give him some shit. He was such a cliche.

Mark laughed his same dorky weird laugh, and I couldn’t help but to laugh too. “No I told her I’m not marrying you. I don’t love you, and she’s like well then as soon as I have this kid, it’s all yours. If you don’t want me, I don’t want your ugly baby.”

“I’d be like ‘it got it from its mama’. She’s adorable though, so you really came out ahead there. What are the odds you’d get two deadbeat moms in a row?”

“Don’t remind me. What’s your story? You married? Kids?”

“Well I went to school and graduated top of my class, so i got into vet school, which is way harder than regular old medical school since there aren’t as many options. Plus it’s pretty challenging. With people you just got to figure out people. I have to know the dogs, cats, horses, goats, birds, lizards pretty much anything that’s alive and not from the primate family, i gotta figure it out. Last week somebody brought in a damn baby kangaroo, trying to tell me it’s a wallaby, and I was like where did you get a Kangaroo in Salt Lake City? Sorry, to answer your actual questions, No baby daddy’s cuz I’ve never met anyone that’s as awesome as I am, so until then I’m just saving the world, one litter at a time. Let’s go peek at them, come on.” I tiptoed out the door, over to the batch of kennels I had them living in, and we peeked around the wall, to see both kids feeding two puppies each, smiling from ear to ear.

“What kind of puppies are they?” Mark whispered.

“Go back in the room and I’ll tell you the story.”

He looked so adorable tiptoeing along, trying to be sneaky. He was like that one part of Fantasia where everybody knows but him that he’s too big to be sneaky.

We get back in the room and he sits on the little bench, patting the seat next to him, looking up at me all sexy like. He knows what he’s doing. “Come sit. I won’t bite.” He said with a lustful tone. Or maybe I just wanted to jump on him and any tone would be lustful......

“You keep looking at me like that, I’m gonna squirt you with the spray bottle,” I couldn’t help but laugh at my own joke. He found it less funny. “They’re all Blood Hounds. The mother got shot by the owners worthless boyfriend, claiming she attacked him, when I have a strong suspicion she was defending the woman from him. The mama dog did get ahold of the guy and shredded his arm up bad enough, it’ll never work again. The woman dropped the puppies off saying he’d kill them when he got home, so that’s how I got nine Bloodhound puppies that have to be fed every few hours. I didn’t have the heart to put them down, and the shelter would of killed them.”

“Aren’t Bloodhounds expensive?”

“Well yes. And they’re actually AKC, but I’m going to fix them all before I adopt them out. I rescue, I don’t profit off animal sales. Just maintenance. I actually offered them to the police since they’ve got the best noses in the business. They’re trying to get the money together to train them. Las Vegas wants two of them, but they got that casino money.”

“How much does it cost to train a dog?”

“Like $22k I think it is. Takes a few years depending if they’re looking for people, drugs, bombs... ”

“Wow. How are you not taken?” He blurted out.

“My bullshit tolerancy is almost non-existent, I work a lot, I’m the only one that thinks I’m funny, i dress like a veterinarian and I’m shallow. How are you single? All that man pretty and diaper changing skills.”

Mark looked down and blushed again. “Ok I’m just gonna go for it. Would you like to go to dinner sometime?” I swear he is holding his breath. Dammit. So cute.

“How about now? When they’re done feeding the puppies, you wanna go feed your rugrats?” I inquired.

“I meant like on a date, just you and me.”

He was so pretty, I wanted to sit on his face, “Oh ho! I cant be alone with you, I’ll get pregnant. Even now, I’m at risk. I need tiny chaperones.”

“Is that so?” He said rising to his feet with a mischevious look on his face, glancing between my eyes and lips. I took a step back and the wall was there. I was trapped. I tried to look oblivious but when he leaned against the wall behind me, with an arm on each side of my head, leaning in so his lips lightly brush my ear, he whispers; “where’s your spray bottle now?”

Oh fuck it. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him into a kiss. His lips were so soft and he was surprisingly gentle and not trying to be handsy. What the fuck was I doing!? I pulled away scanning his face for I don’t know what.

“What?” He asked all breathy and desperate, rubbing his perfect little nose on my cheek, getting almost close enough to kiss me, wanting me to close the gap.

“I don’t know what I’m looking for, but I’ll know when I see it.”

“Shut up and kiss me....please?”

Fuck. Anyone else I would have sent packing, but Mark was so tall, and beautiful, and confident, and took care of his kids, and God he smelled good, and if he fucked as well as he kissed, then I might just keep him. I pushed my lips into his and he kissed me a bit more aggressive biting my lower lip.

This was either a really great idea, or the worst idea I’ve ever had, but either way, I was gonna see how it played out.

[new-blog-new-things-blog]

Are you kidding me?! Part 8.

Bucky x Reader

Word count: 1456 Warnings: Swearing? Slow burn af

A/N: I’m so sorry if anyone is actually trying to follow this! I got a new job and the hours are wacky. 

The next couple of weeks passed and I was really starting to like it here. I have gotten to know everyone really well, it kind of feels like I was meant to be here. I’d even let Sam take me out on a date, which was so fun. I had a spectacular night but when it came to the end of the night, we shared a kiss and it was so… Platonic. Sam had felt the same, like we were kissing our best friend. Laughing it off and deciding that it wouldn’t work between us it didn’t change how close we had become.

Being close with Sam lead me to become fast friends with Steve, he taught me how to play cards, we talked about books and music. For someone who is supposed to be the all righteous Captain America, he is a sassy man, always quick witted but looks shy after saying something like that. It was super cute to see him roast Sam then look shocked at himself after.

Clint and I bonded over archery, then over animals. We had a game where at any point during the day he would get J.A.R.V.I.S to tell me an animal, I would shift into that animal then go and find him. I normally fail to sneak attack him, but every so often I would succeed, plus it’s really funny to see everyone's reaction to a leopard or a skunk running round the tower.

Thor tells me tales of Asgard, battles he had fought and his brother. I told him about the pranks me and my friends used to get up too, school and my Nan. Apparently Loki would have liked me. He seems to always have a sad look in his puppy dog eyes when he talks about the god of mischief, poor man.

Bucky was the only one who I haven’t really spoken too, after the first lot of training he just kind of disappears when I enter a room, so I left him too it really. I did try to be friendly to him at the start but he would just look at me like I’m a puzzle then continues on with whatever he was doing at the time, so after a while I just stopped trying.

In the beginning Tony and Bruce came as a package deal, I nicknamed them the science bro's--which they found funny. So I decided to get the computer part of my training out of the way first. I mostly worked with Bruce in the lab after a while as Tony was off being- in his words a ‘genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.’ Bruce was such a sweetheart, he never got annoyed at me when I didn’t get what he was saying, he just slowed down and showed me again. I can now get through firewalls and cover my tracks at a mediocre level, who apparently suited them well enough because next came my hand-to-hand combat.

Straight away Sam offered to train with me but apparently that honour was Natasha’s. When I informed Sam of this fact he winced at me. Winced. What in the name of hell did that mean? I soon found out, lying flat on my back trying to catch my breath after Nat put me on my ass for what feels like the thousandth time in the space of an hour.

“I see the big bright light, I’m walking towards it. That’s it I’m dead! I hope you’re happy Natasha you killed me!”

Rolling on my front I just lay there spread out, I hear Nat walk over to stand in front of me. Lifting my head I see her squat down.

“You are in better shape than I first thought фазовращатель. This is just a taste of what is to come so we need you stronger, I am going to teach you how to use some machines over there to build your strength up and we will revisit the hand to hand at a later point.”

She reached a slender hand towards me in which I took to let her help me up. For the next 2 hours Natasha taught me how to use the many, many machines in the gym and by the time training was over my muscles were screaming at me. I mean places I didn’t know could hurt were throbbing, very slowly I made my way to the kitchen to grab a drink. Steve and Tony were already in there when I entered, they both looked over me assessing the damage.

“Well you look relatively in one piece, Romanoff must have been going easy on you.”

Tony laughed handing over what looked to be juice.

“I feel like I have been run over by a stampede.”

I chugged nearly the whole glass of juice in one go, both men chuckled at me, Steve being ever the gentleman grabbed the carton and refilled my glass for me again.

“You’ll feel worse in the morning Natasha likes to really work the new recruits.”

Of course I would, literally just kill me now. Groaning I lean forward, setting my glass down and press my forehead against the cold surface of the table.

“It’s not that bad kid, if anyone is gunna teach you how to kick some serious ass it’s Romanoff.”

Tony remarked patting my back as he passed me to leave the room, looking up I saw Steve had lent against the side, arms crossed over his chest making his biceps look even bigger than they already were. Steve was taking me in and I realise I’m just bent over a table in front of basically the American dream, fuck. Quickly I stand, I swear the thigh burn is real. Steve is looking anywhere but me at this point, surely he can’t be that innocent? I mean like it must be a little bit of an act right? You know what I’m not even gunna ask the question, breaking the silence I ask him where everyone else is.

“Bruce and Tony are probably in the lab, Sam is out, I have no clue where anyone else is…”

His voice trailed off and I could feel the awkwardness in the room, determined to not let this conversation die I strike up a new topic.

“So how are you liking new technology and stuff? A bit different from back in the day ay?”

“God yes, I mean the internet is fantastic and mobile phones are so helpful!”

That made me laugh out loud, bless him. Soon Steve was laughing with me and then I have no clue what we are laughing at, all I know is that I cant stop. There was a cough behind me and both of us turned to see Bucky standing in the door way looking at us like he had interrupted something. I bit my lip trying to hold back another chuckle, turning to see Steve trying and failing to keep a smile off his face. Our eyes locked and we were gone again, Steve is now bent over holding his stomach and I am wiping away the tears that are falling from my eyes.

“What’s so funny?”

Bucky asked, eyes darting between me and the captain.

“Nothing.”

I managed to say after calming myself down a bit, Bucky scowled at me.

“If you don’t wanna tell me that’s fine.”

Bucky walked straight passed me to the fridge when Steve spoke up.

“No seriously Buck, I’m not sure why we were laughing, we just couldn’t stop.”

Before Bucky could respond J.A.R.V.I.S’ voice sounded through the kitchen.

“Miss Y/L/N, Mr Barton has asked me to tell you goat.”

God bless Clint and his impeccable timing! A smile tugs on my lips and salute both of the soldiers in front of me much to their confusion.

“Duty calls boys, can’t keep a good man waiting on little old me.”

As I close my eyes and start to take a goats form I heard Bucky whisper

“Is goat like a new code word or something?”

I didn’t hear a response from Steve. Once fully formed I bleat twice and skip off.

Third Person POV

Y/N runs out the door and for a moment Steve and Bucky only stare at the space she had vacated.

“Well that was different.”

Steve remarked removing himself from leaning against the counter, noticing a scowl upon his best friends face.

“What’s up Buck?”

Bucky runs his metal hand through his brown locks.

“I don’t know, I just have a feeling about that girl. I can’t put my finger on it though, I just know she is going to be trouble.”

Shrugging Bucky walked in the same direction Y/N went and Steve could help but think Bucky could be right about one thing.

Part 7                                                                             Part 9

Tags: @projectxhappiness @captain-chimichanga @fuckthatfeeling

[attempted-writing]

a day well spent

fandom: Homestuck setting: Earth C summary: Dave and Karkat spend the day together warnings: food, under age drinkin(?), a tonne of fluff pairings: davekat word counter: 3715 author notes: my second fic, sorry it took so long. korina is a kind of wood and i thought it would fit as a name for a background character. also, thanks to @ejusticeonthenet for helping me name the story

A gentle voice softly sounded in the bedroom as Dave woke up his boyfriend. Karkat slowly opened an eye as he saw sunlight drip though the crack between the curtains before burying his head in the fluff of the bed again. “MORNIN DAVE” a dry voice came from somewhere between the sheets. “mornin? Dude, its 1:35” the troll now sat up in bed and got distracted for a moment. He knew his boyfriend sat next to him on the bed but he didn’t count on him being that close to him and it left him flustered for a moment. After feeling himself go red in the face he said “SO? ITS NOT LIKE THER’S SOMETHING HAPPENING TODAY” Dave looked at him with a sly grin after seeing him blush like that. “eh, I thought “the weather ‘s awesome, let’s go have fun time with the dude I love most” but if you’re not up for it I just might have to ask Dirk” Karkat sighed and as he turned to his side he answered “5 more minutes” “heh, sure, but don’t forget that I’m knight of time” the only answer he got was a murmur from the sheets that sounded a bit like fuck off strider. “I’ll have your “breakfast” ready in a bit” Dave responded teasingly.

True to his word the sleepy troll came down the stairs a couple of minutes later. The smell of freshly fried egg wafted from the kitchen to the living room. Dave had started to learn how to cook after the dust settled. He had asked john for lessons who taught him how to make a couple of dishes, one of which was how to fry an egg. After that he and Karkat ate eggs for breakfast for a week straight because “he needed to practice”. Truth be told, he did get quite good at it. With a little smile Karkat walked into the kitchen “SMELLS GOOD, MAN” Dave looked up from the pan and said “thanks, honey”. Karkat quietly giggled “HEH, YOU NEVER CALL ME HONEY”. “oh no, I just needed the honey for a sec” Dave said with a teasing smirk “NICE SAFE… HONEY”.

After a healthy breakfast the two left their house and headed for the park in the centre of town. As they walked they talked, about the house, about their friends, the party Rose and Kanaya are throwing next week and other small talk until they arrived at a bench in the park. The bench was in a beautiful spot, under the canopy of a big old oak tree that stood behind it and with a view of a small river that slowly flowed between the fields and tree clusters. it was busy with a lot of people swimming, sun-bathing, children playing and couples picnicking. “WHY IS IT SO FUCKING HOT” Karkat said as he wiped the sweat of his forehead “ITS ALMOST LIKE IM BACK ON ALTERNIA” Dave looked at him through his old and trusty pair of shades. Ever since they arrived on earth C he had been taking them off more often. When that started happening Rose praised him to high heavens for gaining enough confidence to do so, but on an day as sunny as this one he gladly made an exception. “well it’s a good thing I talked you out of wearing that thick fucking sweater you initially insisted on wearing” he said without a hint of seriousness “HEY, THAT THING WAS VERRY COMFY ON THAT GODAMND SPACE ROCK, OK. WE CANT ALL-…” Karkat had started yelling like he usually did until he looked at Dave who just stared at him with an expression that told Karkat “it’s a joke, fucking chill”. To give his boyfriend this look Dave had taken of his sunglasses and was now holding them in his hand. “OK, OK, ILL CALM DOWN” “thanks dude, people were staring for a sec” embarrass Karkat looked around and saw no one even glancing there way. “OK, HAHA, VERRY FUNNY” the troll said looking at his boyfriend with a face of annoyance as he playfully punched him in the shoulder, who only reacted by giving him a playful and teasing giggle. Dave was still holding his shades in his hand and Karkat noticed that. “HE DAVE, CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING?” he asked, Dave looked at him with a questioning look “yeah sure dude, what’s up?” “WELL… I WAS… WONDERING…” he started and Dave interrupted him as he stopped after one word for three times in a row “dude, whatever it is, it won’t be awkward unless you make it” Karkat looked at the ground for a sec, looked his boyfriend straight in the eye and asked “CAN I TRY ON YOUR SUNGLASSES”. Dave fell into a fit of laughter leaving Karkat as awkward as he made it “hehe, sure man, but hehe, why was that such a weird question” Dave asked still a bit shaky with giggles as he hands him the sunglasses. “WELL, I KNOW HOW IMPORTAND THEY ARE TO YOU, WITH THEM BEING A GIFT FROM JOHN AND HAVING WORN THEM THROUGHOUT THE GAME AND STUFF” he said as he put the glasses on his nose. Dave looked at Karkat and something was off. “THIS IS WONDERFULL, NOW I GET WHY YOU USED TO WEAR EM ALL THE DAMNED TIME” Karkat said with glee on his face… “wait, you’ve never worn sunglasses?” “EEH… NO… IT WAS THE TYPE OF STUFF ONLY BLUEBLOODS COULD AFFORD AND DURING THE THREE YEARS ON THE METEOR YOU ALWAYS WORE YOURS AND EQUIUS’ ARE ALL GROSS AND SWEATY AND BROKEN AND AFTER THAT I DIDN’T DARE PUT YOURS ON WHEN YOU WERNT LOOKING…” “aww babe” Dave said and Karkat looked at him with annoyance (Dave knew babe was his least favourite thing to be called and thus he called him that occasionally to “get his goat” as Rose put it). “Can I have em back now?” Dave asked after letting Karkat enjoy the thing for a bit. “SURE” Karkat answered with a smile and proceeded to not give the glasses back… “so, will you give em now” Dave said with an acted tone of losing patience in his voice “OH, FINE” Karkat answered annoyed as he handed the pair back to Dave “they didn’t really suit you anyway” Dave said when cleaning the lenses on his shirt “BULLSHIT, I LOOKED WONDERFULL” “no, not really”. Now properly annoyed with his companion Karkat raised his voice and said “FINE, LET ME TAKE A SLEFIE WITH THE THINGS ON AND SEND IT TO KANAYA, SHE’LL BACK ME UP ON THIS” Dave saw how determent he was and said “fine, but I keep em until she answers, if she agrees with you, they’re yours for the rest of the day” Karkat looked kind of shocked at Dave almost like he didn’t expect it to be this easy, or him to let him have something that was so valuable to him even if it was only for a certain amount of time. He eventually muttered something that sounded agreeing enough and Dave gave him the glasses. Karkat quickly ran his fingers through his hair in an attempt to make it look a bit better, put the glasses on his nose and took a selfie. “good, can I have em back now” Dave asked. “HMM, NO THAT’S NO GOOD” Karkat said to himself loud enough for Dave to understand, and he snapped another selfie, and then another, and another and that went on for a couple minutes. “do you need me to take a pic?” Dave said annoyed at this point. “OH FINE, THIS ONE WILL HAVE TO DO” Karkat said to himself, send the pic to Kanaya and as he went to give Dave the glasses his phone buzzed. It was the reaction from their fashion savvy friend. “Oh Dear Lord, No, The Shape Of Those Glasses Don’t Fit Your Face At All. With Your Face Shape You Would Be Better Off With Something More Square” those were the first sentences from the message but Kanaya didn’t stop there, she went on about, colour and materials and a whole heap of fashion related info. Karkat was kind of taken aback by it. Sure, he liked clear answers that didn’t beat around the bush and that this pair wasn’t the ideal fit for him but it still left him with a bit disappointed, and Dave saw that. “guess she said no?” “YEAH… HERE ARE YOUR GLASSES BACK” Dave took the aviators and put them back were they always had been. After a bit of silence he asked “what did she write” Karkat took his phone back out and started reading the message Kanaya had sent. “ok, let’s go” Dave said as he got up from the bench. “GO WHERE” Karkat asked as his boyfriend took two steps towards the main path. The boy turned around and with a smile so cute Karkat’s heart skipped a beat answered “to get you a bitchin pair of shades, of course”.

The two walked hand in hand to the end of the park were they found a small shop selling news papers, ice creams, sun-block and other things one might want for a relaxing time at the park. The two stood in front of one of the racks with sunglasses and started looking for something that would fit Kanaya’s description. After a minute or so they narrowed it down to three. A pair of fake black wayfarers, a pair that was half plastic with a faux tortoise shell look and half metal, and a pair of rectangular see-through with mirroring glasses. “WHICH DO YOU LIKE” the crabby boy asked and his companion answered “well not those, that’s for damn sure” he spoke as he pointed at the see through  with mirroring glasses. “WHY NOT THOSE?” “Couse every time I look at you I don’t wanna be reminded of my own fuckin face. I’ve seen enough Daves for a lifetime” he added with a grin. “WELL OK, NOT THOSE I GUESS” “how about those” Dave said wile pointing at the half plastic model. Karkat put them on and looked at Dave “they work I guess” he said with a tone in his voice that sounded like he wasn’t sold on the them. Karkat looked at the little mirror above the rack. “OH HELL NO, I LOOK LIKE A FUCKING TOOL” Karkat said maybe just a little bit too loud. “guess that only leaves one, huh” “YEAH, I GUESS” the two agreed. Karkat put the wayfarer copy on his nose and looked at the mirror and then at Dave and they both agreed  again and went to the checkout. “these please” Dave said handing the shop keep the glasses. “ah, yes, these sell like hot cakes” the man said to just start some banter with customers “they sell so well, a new shipping arrived this morning”. “oh ok, anything interesting with that shipment?” Dave asked politely. He was still kind of new to the “polite banter at the till” thing due to bro’s lousy attempt at raising a kid. After they arrived on earth C Rose and Kanaya had taken him clothing shopping a couple of times and after he was very rude to the personnel in the first shop they went to, the two girls gave him the speech of a lifetime. “oh yes, of course” the man answered enthusiastically “you see, the colours are always the first to go, so that’s what the biggest part of it is” now Dave moved closer to the man behind the counter and whispered something to him and the man nodded “yes I have those, I’ll be right back sir” and he walked off through a door. “WHAT DID YOU ASK” Karkat said to Dave who with a tease in his voice answered “you’ll see”. After a moment the man came back “sorry it took so long, they were all the way at the bottom of the box” he said as he put a pair of sunnies on the counter similar to those Dave just gave him but this one had a bright red frame. Karkat looked at the glasses and then to Dave… and back to the glasses and now to the shop keep. “just out of curiosity, how often do you sell this color to trolls” Dave asked while looking at Karkat “oh very often, in fact I think they are a lot more popular with trolls than with humans… is there a problem, sirs?” Karkat looked at the thing and back to Dave until eventually “SIGH, OK”. Dave looked at him with an adoring smile as he gave the man the boon dollars asked for the thing. With a grin on their faces and a greetings from the shop keep the two walked back into the park.

The two walked in a comfortable silence until they reached a fountain where Dave said “oh dude, this is the perfect spot” Karkat, kicked from his thoughts asked “FOR WHAT?” “a picture of course, we’re gonna need to show Kan we put her advice to good use”. It might have been a hobby of Dave’s years ago but he still took photography very serious. Karkat had never seen Dave quite this exited. He watched as his boyfriend walk around checking the lighting and walking back and forth between a couple of places ‘hey Karkat, mind getting over there for a sec?’ Dave spoke kicking Karkat from his adoring daydream. ‘OH, SURE’ he quickly answered trying to act as natural as he could and failing. He walked over to the spot that was pointed out and Dave started messing about with the phone until he said “ok, smile”. Karkat was rather uncomfortable. It just felt strange, this whole situation. He thought it would just be a simple picture with a simple phone and Dave was treating it as high art or something. While Karkat was zoning out again Dave had gotten up, drew a line in the dirt path were he had first been and walked over to him. Karkat snapped out of thought as Dave wrapped his arms around him. He started blushing a bit and a moment later asked in a hushed voice “eeh, Dave, why?” “Couse you were somewhere else” Dave said as he lifted his head from Karkat’s shoulder and looked him straight in the face as he felt his face go red. “will you now smile for the camera?” Dave asked still hugging the troll “…yeah …sure” he eventually replied. Dave walked back to the place he had marked, got on one knee and took a picture of the awkwardly smiling Karkat. After a couple of pictures Dave asked him to strike a pose. Karkat made a flexing pose as awkward as his smile. “next pose” Dave said and Karkat struck a new pose a bit more confident this time and his confidence grew every time Dave had asked for a new pose. This continued for a while until Dave said all t the good lighting was gone. That made Karkat look up and only then noticed the sun had crept behind the tall trees surrounding the fountain.

They walked to the exit of the park and talked about what to do next. “I was thinking we could go to a restaurant and score some food n’ drinks n’ stuff” “NAH, I DON’T REALY FEEL LIKE IT… THER’S A MOVIE ON LATER TONIGHT I’D LIKE TO SEE”. Dave looks at his boyfriend a bit disappointed “aww dude, I was looking forward to taking you out to dinner” Karkat sighs “OK, HOW BOUT THIS. WE STEAL TEREZI’S THING AND FLIP A COIN”. Dave agrees with a nod and hands Karkat a coin. Karkat flips the coin and as the piece of metal twirls through the air Dave says heads. Karkat catches the thing and shows the result, it came up heads. The two walk to the centre of town. Dave noticed that Karkat was deep in thought again “how bout you pick the place” the troll boy looked up at his matesprit and with a friendly smile he answered “SURE”. They strolled through a street filled with shops, cafés and restaurants and people looking through the store windows, having drinks right outside café’s and people having a good time in general. The pair walked until Karkat stopped in front of a sign that read

“Tony’s Italian cuisine

- Pizza 10$

- Spaghetti 8 $

- Lasagne 12:50

Bar open after 7 o’clock

No reservation needed”

Karkat looked at Dave and before he could get a word out Dave said “looks good to me”. The two enter the restaurant and took a place. “WHAT IS LASADGNEY?” Karkat asked Dave who looked up with a smirk and answered “Dunno, but lasagne is a pile of dough leaves separated with tomato sauce”. Karkat question wasn’t really answered by this but at least he now had some idea of what he could get himself into. A waitress appeared, introduced herself as Korina and asked for their orders. Dave decided on pizza right away, it’s one of his favourite dishes but Karkat hesitated for a moment until he asked her the same question he asked Dave. After an explanation that was a bit more in depth Karkat’s decision was made, he was having lasagne. The waitress asked “would you like a drink while you wait?” Dave looked at the menu one more time and said “I’ll have a beer” Karkat looked at Dave and said “I’m having what he’s having” a moment later she returned with two cold beers, foaming white on top and a pale yellow shining through the fogged up glass. The two talked a bit till the drink was half gone and the waitress returned with the food and after having warned Karkat that not just his dinner but also the bowl it was served in was hot, the two dug in.

After the plates were cleaned the two had desert with ice cream and when all the food was gone it was about 7:30. “wanna move to the bar” Karkat’s eyes shot up from the table straight to Dave’s eye’s. Dave had taken his sunglasses off right when they walked through the door of the restaurant and after having peeked into the red eyes of his boyfriend for a moment he answered “SURE”. The two did just that and sat at the end of the bar with Dave between Karkat and the wall which was adorned with beautiful pictures of the Italian country side. A waiter came over to them and took the order of two more beer. They talked about this and that until a couple of glasses were emptied and the two started to feel the effects of the drink. Karkat once again was lost in thought and Dave was just about done with that. “ok dude… you’f been, zoning out all vucking day… what’s up” Dave said as Karkat slowly turned his head to try and keep it from spinning. Trolls react differently to alcohol than humans, it effects the balancing organs earlier but on the other hand they don’t feel “drunk” quite as quick. Karkat sighed and with the same motion closed his eyes. “IT’Z NO USE SAYING IT’Z NOTHIN RIGHT?” a little smile played around Dave’s mouth when he answered “nope” “SIGH… FINE, FINE.” The crabby boy muttered “DO YOU… D’YOU EVER WONDER HOW ZHE VUCK YOU GOT WERE YOU ARE IN LIFE…” Dave looked at Karkat with a raised eyebrow but Karkat continues “AND WHEN YOU LOOK AT THE PEOPLE YOU’RE WIV… AND JUST… YOU JUST” Dave started tapping his fingers with annoyance but still Karkat hasn’t shut up. “AND THE THINGS YOU DO TOGETHER AND… THE LOOK ON THEYRE FACE WHEN… WHEN…” Dave has had enough of this useless muttering “spit it out Vantas”. Karkat tore his eyes from his boyfriends and looked at the 2/3s gone glass of beer in front of him “SIGH… HOW DID AN ASSHOLE LIKE ME GET THIS CLOSE TO AN AMAZING PERSON LIKE YOU” he spoke as his eyes started getting teary. Dave just sat there. Looking at Karkat with a happy, tender and intoxicated smile. Till one word escaped his lips “dude”. Karkat looked him straight in the eye and made Dave tear up as well. The two without saying one more word got up at exactly the same moment and hugged like they rarely did before. With this face buried in Dave’s shirt Karkat whispered “I just love you so vucking much” and Dave answered with a similar, shaky and tear riddled voice “I love you too man”. Some other patrons saw the hug and looked on endeared. The two employers who happened to be at the other end of the bar whispered to each other “oh that’s cute… we’re going to have to stop serving em aren’t we?”

But it wasn’t necessary to stop serving them because after the two had finished their glasses, payed the tab and left with their arms around each other’s shoulders. When they got home it was just passed 10 o clock. “it’z a bit early to go to bed isn’t it” Karkat looked up from taking off his shoes “WELL, ZHERE IS THIS ROMCOM I WANTED TO SEE… WE COULD WATCH THAT” “you know what, sure”. they sat themselves down on the couch with some snacks and something to drink that wasn’t alcoholic and when they got to the channel that broadcasted the movie they found it had only just begun. It was a troll movie so it was all new to Dave but Karkat had seen it 10 times already but it’s one of his favourites, so he wanted to see it again. the two fell asleep during one of the commercial breaks with Dave resting his head on Karkat’s lap and Karkat with his arm across Dave’s chest. Dave woke up in the dead of night. The movie was long over and the channel was now broadcasting infomercials. He looked at Karkat who was in a deep sleep. He turned the tv off, lifted Karkat off the couch and put him in bed, got in next to him and fell in a deep and dreamless sleep.