#like… I fully fantasize about what’s happening next it’s insane

[delizbin]

Personal take but totally inspired by the ff Fine Line by the amazing @firstdragonlady

[mrsmctominay]

nsfw alphabet w ben chilwell? ^^

NSFW Alphabet- Ben Chilwell

A = Aftercare No matter what the sex was like, your needs come before his. It doesn't matter if you want a bath run or if you simply want a cuddle, he will do it. The feeling of his soft skin against yours is enough to cure you for a lifetime.

B = Body part He loves your collar bones. He likes leaving bruises and hot kisses on them. The way they pop out when you arch your back in pleasure or simply the way they glisten with sweat.

C = Cum He likes to pull out in time to cum on your chest. As I say, he loves your collar bones so the sight of them with his cum on them is just, ugh *chefs kiss*.

D = Dirty Secret He wants to try handcuffs, be it you handcuffing him or him handcuffing you. Either way he wants to try it.

E = Experience He's not overly experienced, but Ben often fantasizes about what he wants to do to you, so that gives him some confidence in knowing what he's doing.

F = Favourite Position He likes cowgirl. He enjoys the feeling of you riding him along with the feel of you burying your face into his neck, marking your territory. He also gets a good view of your boobs so why wouldn't he love it?

G = Goofy Often, you would let out the occasional giggle or give him a smile just to let him know that it's okay to put down the wall of seriousness. He has a habit of being serious (sometimes too serious, to the point you feel put off, but this just comes from his past experiences..), so this just lets him know that it's okay to have a laugh.

H = Hair Ben is not completely hairless down there, but he may as well be as it's practically non existent...

I= Intimacy Looking at him, you'd expect him to be soft and romantic but my oh my can he be rough... Scratching, biting, choking, slapping.. You name he will *probably* do it. Obviously, like anyone, he has is boundaries but he's down for most things.

J = Jack Off He doesn't mind masturbating. This is the time he usually has these fantasies I mentioned earlier. it's the perfect time to plan what he wants to do to you the next time you have sex.

K = Kink Ben has a huge praise kink. He enjoys being told when he's doing a good job, he especially likes being told he's a good boy. Something about those words coming from your mouth drives him insane.

L = Location He likes having sex in the bath. He's never said why but he always finds a way to join you when you're in there on your own, the rest tells it's own story...

M = Motivation As I mentioned before, he likes being praised. So anything you say that's praising in the slightest way will really get him going. Or, when you wear blue. When you wear his colour. Something about it is so so sexy to him and he can never control himself when you do wear it.

N = NO Ben doesn't want to blindfolded. He would blindfold you no problem. But not being able to see you during sex? No thanks.

O = Oral Oh my does that boy enjoy some good head. Head in the shower? Give it to him. Head when he's driving? Yes please. Head whilst he's playing games with the boys? Stupid question. Of course he wouldn't say no if you asked for head, but he would rather receive than give, most of the time..

P = Pace Whatever you want, he doesn't mind. He can go as slow as anything or fast enough that you cum within a minute, it's all up to you.

Q = Quickie Nothing wrong with a quick-quickie is there? Usually they happen at team dinners in the bathroom, the times were you both look good as fuck and you just can't resist. You think that the two of you would learn to fuck before leaving but no why would you.

R = Risk You aren't exactly the biggest risk taker but you did like to take him by surprise every now and then. Rubbing your hand over his cock under the blanket when his friends are round is a personal favourite of yours.

S = Stamina If you'd had fast, rough sex, he wouldn't last as long and wouldn't be able to go for as many rounds. But if you were having slow, passionate sex... Oh boy could he go all night.

T = Toy You have a vibrator but that's it. He will use it on you every once in a while. Usually when he's feeling like treating you and solely wants to pleasure you is when the vibrator will get used.

U = Unfair There's times when Ben will rub his cock against your wet folds just to hear you whine and groan, or he will insert only the tip to see you push the rest in by yourself. He will kiss up and down your thighs and belly for minutes before he puts his mouth to your pussy.

V = Volume The grunts and groans that came from his mouth was music to your ears. Even just the hums of pleasure that vibrate around your mouth when he kisses you as he fucks you slowly.

W = Wild Card Ben likes to use ice in the bedroom. Seeing you quiver when the cold cube touches your clit unexpectedly is a sight he would like to see everyday of the week. Or him placing it directly on your nipples and watching them melt it, licking up the water that dribbles down your torso.

X = X-Ray Ok so he's a grower not a shower. He's a good 7.5-ish inches when fully erect though...

Y = Yearning You were the instigator more often that he was, but not by choice. He could be horny as fuck and still wait for you to come onto him, just because he likes to say that 'he's not the horny one' in the relationship.

Z = ZZZ Almost every time after you had sex, he would fall asleep first. Which you don't mind because he's cute when he sleeps.

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

dire ii, m | jjk

pairing(s): jungkook x reader

summary: The only way that this can be summarized is: "Does your horniness outweigh common sense once again?" And, well, when the female Dire Wolf does that weird pheromone thing, Jeon Jungkook just can’t say no. 

warnings: rated M (18+) for language, world building, eating raw meat; mentions of (species) discrimination and prejudice; violence; smut (fem reader, still too much m-masturbation, thigh fucking, unprotected sex (ty biology), creampie, cockwarming, biting/marking, cowgirl, saliva everywhere lol); non-idol!AU - werewolfAU / soulmates?; werewolf!reader x blond, human!Jungkook; switches between Jungkook’s POV and your POV; is JK a furry? you decide

this is long because smut lmao (but also fluff) yes, I break the fourth wall, it just fit haha inspired by YOASOBI - 怪物 (Kaibutsu)

–

part i

-

"Stop jacking off!"

He heard the vicious snarl the second the window opened but he didn't stop. 

"Hasn't your dick fallen off yet, you animal–"

"It's been a whole fucking month," Jungkook gritted out, throwing his head back into his pillows as he continued stroking himself. "The fuck is wrong with you?"

"With me?" came the disbelieving huff at the foot of his bed. "I'm a busy woman. I'm not like you, masturbating every five seconds," she barked. 

He brought his head back and glared down on her. Completely froze. Even his hand on his cock slowed. 

She was frowning at him at the base of his bed, wearing a torn up black hoodie. It had huge slashes in it across the chest and shoulders, barely holding on. He could see white scars crisscrossed on her skin underneath, a tight black sports bra on her upper torso. She wasn't wearing her usual black face mask. High waisted black pants, with straps on the sides that cinched them in.

"What happened?" He shot up out of the bed, covers a mess, surrounded by too many wadded up tissues.

"Nothing happened," she scowled, looking around him with exasperation. 

"But your clothes–"

"I changed form to get here faster," she said dismissively, grabbing the bottom of the hoodie and yanking it up and over her head. 

"Why is it only your hood–"

"Because I was holding my other clothes but I can’t be fully naked out in public, obviously," she cut him off as if it was the most logical thing in the world. 

"Wait, so you're naked in wolf form?"

"Why the fuck would I be wearing clothes?"

She was crawling on the bed and Jungkook's brain was barely functioning, body jumping involuntarily as she neared. She batted away the dirty tissues, gold-streaked eyes narrowed, a large heavy pendant hanging off her neck – was that diamond? with a platinum plum flower pressed in the center?? how the fuck??? – on a thick silver chain. The chain not only held the pendant, but also her rings. The wolf with the opal eyes. The simple silver band. The skull with the snake. The FEED ring. The large opal gem inlaid in stars. The black stone with a bone pressed into it. And now two more – a twisted silver band and a snake head with black gems for eyes.

"You have more rings," he breathed.

"Yes," she growled. "I said it's been a busy month."

Her fluffy silvery ears stuck straight up, bushy tail swaying. She had a lean, fit body, somehow pure power despite being smaller in physique. She came right up to him, nose to nose, breathing heavily into his face. 

"Look here, Jungkook," she growled. "I understand you're a very horny human, but I have things to do, and you distracting me with your three in the morning jack off sessions is not helping nor is it the way you attract a mate, do you understand?”

He didn’t try to be innocent about it.

"Yeah, but did you think about me though?" Jungkook breathed, letting it mix with hers. 

The gold in her eyes seemed to intensify. 

"Of course, I did," she whispered hotly. "All the fucking time, but I have shit to do, like explain to my father that you're not just a piece of side ass."

"You never gave me the chance to be a piece of side ass." Ugh, she was so close. Fuck, she smelled so good. He couldn't even describe it. "I might have liked it."

She huffed. "You would have. You would have loved it, you horny human, but I don't take sex slaves like the other Dire."

"So, it does exist?" he blurted, eyes widening. 

"It does." She clicked her tongue. "I don't like it though. Those Dires use it as an excuse to mistreat gullible humans."

Silence. 

Just her heavy breathing and staring into each other's eyes. 

"Uh... so what now?" he asked softly. 

"I don't know." She grimaced. "I only came to yell at you."

"Not ask me to be a piece of side ass?"

She let out a hefty puff of air and backed up, but he grabbed her arm, stopping her. 

"Can I be the main piece of ass?"

She raised an eyebrow. "You're weird."

"We've established that," he muttered impatiently. "Come on. Just tell me yes or no. Don't leave me like this."

Her eyes darted around them. "Surrounded by cum-filled tissues?"

His ears burned. "Please."

She paused. Then she let out a resigned sigh, removing her arm from his grip. 

"Jungkook," she said, suddenly serious, rasp with a sharp edge. "I'm the Dire Alpha's child."

Hah?

"What?"

She rolled her eyes. "You know. The big angry black wolf with silver streaks that stalks around in a suit when he appears on television with the President?"

HAH?

"WHAT?" he shouted at the top of his lungs. 

She nodded. "Yes. That's my father."

"You... what?" Jungkook gasped, abruptly grabbing his covers and planting them over his crotch. "Your father?"

"That is, indeed, as some people would say, Daddy."

Jungkook's eyes were swirls. "H-how... what? But you're... you're..."

"Not in wolf form all the time, scaring the shit out of people? No. I'm not. But I could do that, because he's my father and we have similar abilities." 

"I was going to say, hot."

She shrugged. "I hear my father has an online fanclub called 'Bitches for WolfDaddy'."

"... Please don't ever say that again."

She visibly cringed. "Anyway, yes, he is my father. I was hoping you'd get bored of fantasizing about me, but I’ve stayed away from you for whole month and you are still going strong," she said, shaking her head. She sighed again, clicking her tongue. "So, I don't know, maybe reevaluate if you want to bang me now that you know."

He didn’t even hesitate.

"I still want to bang."

She flicked his forehead and Jungkook winced, slapping her hand. 

"That hurts!"

"I told you to think," she hissed. "I'm not just any Dire. I'm going to be the Dire Alpha someday. Not only do you have to deal with prejudice from your own people, but also mine and possibly have to watch your back for the rest of your life, because even if my father respects my choices, he's still going to want to eat you."

He rubbed his forehead. "We can't... casually date?"

"I just told you the stipulations of 'casual' dating. If you want to marry me, then we'll have to figure that out later, with the ritual and stuff."

"You're gonna fight me?"

"Like I said," she remarked, waving a hand. "We have to figure that out later, if you're still interested."

"... Can I just be your piece of side ass?"

"No."

She startled him by growling. 

"No, you cannot. I like you too much for that."

Jungkook's brain stopped functioning. "What?"

She leaned forward, brows ticked cockily, wolf ears at attention. 

"I like you. You smell good and you're weird and your actions are funny and I like your blond hair," she listed, reaching up to pet it. "The color is fake but I still like it."

"H-hey!" But he liked the feeling of her hand patting his head, so he didn't move away. She lowered her hand and grinned toothily, revealing the sharp canines. 

"I like coming here and seeing your face, Jeon Jungkook."

He was having heart palpitations.

"Although I've been seeing a lot of your dick recently and that's nice too."

She barked in laughter at her own joke and he pouted, shoving her and having no effect, because she was immobile despite her smaller frame. He puffed his cheeks until she stopped. She winked at him. 

"What do you think? Does your horniness outweigh common sense once again?"

-

Which do you think Jungkook picked?

Yeah.

Not common sense.

-

“Lick me, please.”

“Where is your patience?” you mumbled against his lips, pressing him into his bed with your weight.

“Gone, because you’re driving me insane,” Jungkook growled, firmly gripping your hips and trying remove your pants, but your body wasn’t lifting. “Let me take your clothes off.”

Your hand came up and pressed his head back, kissing down his neck, ignoring his request. Small nips against his throat, making him moan, eyelids fluttering.

“I could kill you any second,” you muttered, still hesitant to go through with it.

“At least let me cum before you off me,” he gasped.

You laughed hotly into his neck. “You’re a crazy human.”

“And I’m horny as fuck, please, I need you.”

You had asked Jungkook if he wanted to wait, if he wanted to take it slow, because it was a lot to take in, all that information of you being the next-in-line Dire Alpha and the fact that you liked him in a more than platonic way, so perhaps, you know, after confessing to each other and agreeing to give this a try, a simple kiss would be enough?

Jungkook was violently humping the front of your pants.

He had replied with, “Can we please fuck? Please?”

Well, you weren’t opposed to it, but maybe some foreplay? A cuddle or some shit?

Nope.

“Stop it,” you chided, but Jungkook wasn’t listening. “Calm down, I’m not going to disappear.”

You lifted your hips and Jungkook immediately slid down, fumbling with the button and the zipper, trying to yank your pants and underwear down roughly.

You yelped, pressing down on his shoulder. “The tail. Watch the fucking tail.”

“What?”

He blinked, letting go as you grunted, sitting up and turning a little so he could see that your large fluffy tail stuck out of a slit in your pants. You pushed your pants down, moving your tail yourself. Your panties were black, but had a snap in the back that you undid first before you could push them down too.

“Oh… I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” you growled. “Your excitement is getting the best of you.”

Jungkook bit his lip, the mole under his lower lip quivering. “Sorry.” You shifted your tail so it covered you as you removed your panties. He frowned, reaching over. “Hey…” he protested, pausing as his fingertips brushed against the fur. You were about to remove your bra, but stopped.

“Are you petting me?”

He withdrew his hand sharply. “Sorry! Sorry… er… is that rude?” He fiddled with his fingers, obviously itching to touch it again.

You thought about it and shrugged, pulling your sports bra up and over your head. Jungkook’s head immediately jerked upwards to watch your tits bounce out. You shook your ears out as you tossed your bra aside.

“Wow.”

You looked down at him, raising an eyebrow. “What?”

He was looking up at you with awe.

“You’re hot.”

You looked down at his disheveled blond hair, bright chocolatey eyes, tan skin, lean muscle, ink-black tattoos. Innocent, but not. Hesitant, but comfortable in his position under you. There was just something about him. Ah, dating a human was going to be a pain in the ass. You grinned at him and he grinned back, bunny teeth flashing.

Seemed worth it though.

“So are you,” you replied.

He didn’t miss a beat with his cheeky responses.

“You gonna suck my dick or what?”

Your brows raised higher, letting out an amused chuckle. “With these teeth? You sure about that?”

“What are you going to do, bite my dick off? After all your hard work of seducing me?”

You huffed. “That wasn’t hard. All I had to do was lick your face.”

“Speaking of which, please do that again.”

You ticked your head, clicking your tongue. “Damn. Walked into that one.”

Jungkook smirked, placing his hands on your thighs and slowly sliding them up. “Come on…” He pressed his fingers into your skin. “It just makes everything feel so good.” You watched his breathing shallow as he recalled the feeling. “So intense. I don’t know how you do it…” His eyes locked with yours. “I’m pretty sure it’s only you who can do that to me. I want it. Please.”

He wasn’t wrong. It probably was only you.

You leaned down, placing your hands on the sides of his head. Your tail brushed against his nether regions and he gasped, lashes lowering. Oh, how interesting. You swished your tail around, feathering over his hardness. His scent intensified, pre-cum clinging to your silvery fur.

“Mmm, that feels good too…”

You had sex when you were younger, a foolish teenager discovering their sexuality recklessly, but you never had a human partner before. As you grew older, you became weighed down by other responsibilities, too many thoughts to even think about sex. At one point, you wondered if it just wasn’t something that important to you. You didn’t really have initial physical attraction to anyone, so maybe sex was simply lower priority for you than everyone else.

But as Jungkook was under you, as you breathed in his scent and kissed him, long, deep, sensual, you realized perhaps you simply hadn’t found the connection you needed. It wasn’t something you could explain, but there was something. Despite his recklessness and the obvious difference in libido, you wanted to give in to him, on the sole basis that it was Jeon Jungkook and no one else.

You didn’t really understand why, but you weren’t going to question it too much.

Mostly because, at this rate, he was going to cum on your tail.

Your tongue was in his mouth, and he was sucking on it, moaning, small slips of your taste dripping onto his tongue, his hands gripping your ass, rubbing his cock against your fur. You shifted your tail, brushing it up and down his length, and he gasped, breaking the kiss.

“Claim me,” Jungkook breathed. “Please.”

“Technically I have,” you murmured teasingly.

“More,” he whimpered. “Want more. All over me.”

You coated your tongue with your scent, opening your lips a crack to let out a stream of hot breath, wafting over his mouth and nose.

“Mmm, yes, fuck, yeeeeeees…”

“You’re so desperate for it,” your mumbled, barely moving your lips.

“Mhm, it’s the hottest thing I’ve ever felt…” he panted, half-lidded eyes shrouded with lust. “Give it to me, you big tease.”

You chuckled, rumbling your chest. Then you tilted your head, placing your lips on his. It dripped down, straight into his mouth; the saliva saturated with your pheromones.

The reaction was immediate, Jungkook moaning hotly into your mouth, eyes rolling back into his head, gripping your hips tightly as he rammed his hard cock right between your thighs, whole body shaking as it invaded him, taking over his senses. You had intense reactions to your scent before, but never like this, never like it consumed the other and drove them as crazy as it seemed to drive Jungkook. Was it supposed to be like this?

Jungkook’s hips were moving of their own accord, fucking the space in between your thighs. You closed them together and he groaned, dropping from your kiss and arching his back, thrusting fast and hard. You watched with fascination, at his closed eyes and straining neck, open mouth emitting his cries of pleasure as he stroked himself with your legs, pre-cum soaking your skin and adding lubrication.

You dipped your head and licked his neck, coating it with you.

He gripped your hips tighter, a tense gasp of your name plucked from his throat.

“M-More, fuck, I’m so close…”

You licked again, dripping more and more saliva onto his shuddering Adam’s apple and he whimpered, face scrunching up as he clenched his jaw, chasing his climax. You hovered your mouth over him, breathing heavily on his skin.

“Cum for me, Jungkook,” you panted, teeth grazing his skin. “Paint me with your scent.”

He whined sharply and shoved your thighs together around the throbbing head of his cock, shuddering as he shot his orgasm into your skin, the hot, thick liquid squirting out between your thighs and dripping down the back and in between. He moaned, thrusting a few more times, smearing his length with his own cum, adding to the pleasure of the sensitive head being squeezed by your thighs.

“Fuck, that’s so good,” he gasped out, falling back onto his bed, but dragging your lower body with him, cock still pulsating and sandwiched by your legs.

“You’ve made a mess,” you observed.

He cracked one eye open. “You make me messy.”

You raised your eyebrows. “It wasn’t my idea.”

Jungkook grinned. “You encouraged.”

You lifted yourself off him and he instantly complained, but you shut him up by sliding down, running your tongue down the length of his chest. Your legs were a sticky mess, but so was Jungkook’s bed covered in cum-filled tissues, and it was only going to get worse because your saliva was all over his pecs and abs, and Jungkook was spreading it everywhere like a madman, shuddering and gasping. His cock was already hard, smacking you in the tits as you lowered yourself to it.

“Is that what you wanted?” you chuckled.

“Y-Yeah… ah, it just makes me feel so fucking good, I don’t understand why…”

You placed your tongue on his twitching cock and licked it up, sighing in satisfaction as his cum coated your tongue.

“Mm, no, fuck, you’re gonna make me cum…” Jungkook whined, but you held his hips, lapping up his taste.

“I’m only cleaning you off, calm down,” you murmured around his cock. You were sure now, by the second taste, that there must be something special about Jeon Jungkook. His cum was addictive. It gave you a euphoric rush, an insatiable hunger for more as you growled, wrapping your tongue around his length and licking up and down, igniting some carnal instinct inside you. You even swiped your tongue over his balls, gathering everything you could, panting as you finished, getting onto your hands.

Breathing hard, lips peeled back, staring down at him like a goddamn meal.

Your drool plopped down onto his stomach.

Jungkook gasped, catching your expression and eyes widening.

“Er…”

You shook your head, puffing out air. “Sorry. Something came over me there.” What was that? Huh. You weren’t in heat. That only happened twice a year. Your next cycle didn’t start for a while. You pondered, furrowing your brow. Jungkook’s hesitant voice cut through your thoughts.

“Er, I have a question.”

You tilted your head, one of your ears flickering. “Hm?”

“Can you… get pregnant by me?” he asked, chewing his lip.

You blinked at him. “Of course. That’s why most Dire males get vasectomies when they have a bunch of… well, never mind.”

Jungkook blinked at you. “Oh. So, we would have half-wolf babies?”

You made a face. Weren’t you technically the half-wolf? Whatever, just explain the result. “No, our children would all be full Dire, because I am the mother. The species of the child is dependent on the biological mother.”

“Oh.” He rubbed his chin. “We have to use condoms then. Or are you on birth control?”

You gave him a confused look. “Why would I be on birth control? I only go into heat twice a year. Which means I only ovulate twice a year.”

Jungkook looked surprised. “Really? Then what does the full moon do?”

“It connects the Dire to our natural instincts as wolves, thus forcefully turning most Dire into their wolf forms. It awakens our primitive instincts of hunt, fight, mate. It heightens all our senses too. But, since we’re only in heat twice a year, our population numbers will always be lower than you humans, which is why we haven’t out-populated you all yet.” You frowned. “Don’t they teach you this shit in school? They teach us human biology at our schools.”

He shook his head. “No. I never learned about this stuff.”

You rolled your eyes. “Typical humans, only selfishly focusing on themselves.”

“Uh, I’m right here?” he huffed indignantly.

“Do you disagree, full-time masturbator?” you accused.

Jungkook’s ears turned red. “W-well, it was only because you weren’t visiting!”

How sweet, you thought wryly. “Anyway, why are you asking?”

Now his entire face was red.

“Er… wondering if I can go in raw… If you’re cool with it…” he mumbled.

A bird cawed outside, reminding you both the window was still open.

“I beg your pardon?”

“I mean if y-you’re not,” Jungkook sputtered. “I totally understand. I got tested yesterday and I’m clean, because I wanted you to not be worried about it and well, oh, maybe you didn’t want to hear that, er…”

You blinked slowly.

“I haven’t had penetrative sex in, I don’t know, three years?”

“Three years?” Jungkook choked. “What? How?”

“I got tested at my last checkup,” you mentioned absentmindedly.

“You go to the doctor?”

You gave him a puzzled look. “Yes? Don’t you?”

“W-well, yeah, but… don’t you heal kinda fast and stuff?”

You raised your hands, confusion deepening. “And so? Do you think I live in the medieval times or something, rubbing leaves on my ailments?”

Jungkook shrugged. “Maybe?”

You slapped your face, rubbing your forehead. “Humans…”

Then something occurred to you. You raised your head, narrowing your eyes.

“Why would you get tested yesterday?”

Now Jungkook was doing that thing were his eyes shifted everywhere. You were becoming well-acquainted with this habit. “Uh… well… you see…”

You looked around you, at the discarded clothes, the rumpled sheets, the tissues, and then snapped your head back to him.

“You planned this,” you barked roughly.

“I missed you!” Jungkook whined, tackling you and pushing you down onto the bed. “You have no idea what you do to me! It’s not fair!” He shoved his face into your hair and inhaled a large breath, shuddering. “You have some kind of weird spell over me and then you wouldn’t come visit and I just needed you so fucking bad…” He was panting against your temple, pressing his chest to yours, moaning as your skin touched his. Your necklace and rings slid down and hit your throat, descending as he rolled his body into yours.

“It’s not a spell,” you gasped, surprised to find yourself breathless as he ground his hips into you. “It’s pheromones, biology–”

“I really don’t care what it is, you make me a horny ass mess and I’m going crazy over here,” Jungkook panted, lifting his head, blond hair brushing your cheek as his blown-out pupils looked down at you. “We don’t have to full-on fuck right now, but you can’t blame me, I absolutely needed to at least see you.”

His hard dick sharply poked you in the thigh.

You raised your eyebrows.

He swallowed. “You’re doing that thing again.”

“I’m not doing anything.”

“Well, then you’re just straight up attractive, sue me.”

“You would lose because I can pay a better lawyer.”

He clenched his jaw. “Rich people.”

You shrugged. “We all know the justice system is flawed and driven by money like everything else, even though it shouldn’t be.”

“Stop making societal insights and address the fact you make me horny as fuck,” Jungkook grumbled.

You breathed in his face.

Not normal breath, but breath laced your scent. Jungkook shuddered and rammed his hips into your leg.

“Now you’re doing that thing,” he moaned, rubbing his chest against yours, pushing your nipples around with his pecs.

“It amazes me you’re so turned on by it,” you mused, enjoying the feeling of him pressed up against you.

“Fantastic,” he grunted, reaching up and tangling his fingers in your hair. “Write it in your scientific journal.”

You chuckled. “Are you irritated with me?”

“Little bit.”

His fingertips rubbed the fur on your ears, smoothing it. You hummed in approval. It felt nice, like a head scratch. The tip of your tail thumped against the bed. Jungkook murmured your name into your cheek, kissing it lightly.

“Mm, yes?”

“Am I crushing you?”

“No.”

Silence as Jungkook continued petting your ears.

“Can I put my dick in you?”

“Wow, I was enjoying this nice, lovely cuddle time–”

He quickly apologized. “S-sorry. Sorry, I’ll–”

You opened your legs under him and Jungkook’s lower body dropped onto the bed, his cock bumping against your wet heat. He gasped, yanking your ears forcefully and you growled in warning. He quickly let go, placing his hands on the bed, cheeks flushing.

“Sorry, you just…”

You extended your tongue, arching a brow.

He bit his lip, moaning deep in his throat as he pressed his length against your dripping core.

“S-stop… you’re d-doing it on purpose…”

You licked your lips, coating them with you. You watched him struggle to resist the scent, shoulders locking, head hanging, panting hard as his ash blond hair drifted down and grazed your cheeks. Eyes so dark they seemed black.

“I’m aware of the consequences,” you said huskily.

“Fuck,” Jungkook gritted out before he unlocked his shoulders and dove down, roughly pressing his lips into yours and rubbing his cock into your juices. He moaned, sliding his tongue into your mouth as you wrapped your scent all over it. You shifted your hips and the head pressed against your slick slit. You weren’t sure how he was going to handle this after being that turned on by your saliva, but, oh well, that was his problem now.

“Go ahead,” you drawled against his lips, your voice a low rasp.

Jungkook backed up, panting hard, furrowing his brow at you. “What?”

You smirked. “You’ll find out.”

You rubbed your opening against the tip and Jungkook gasped, eyelashes fluttering.

“Ho-o-oly shit.”

-

He was fucked.

Absolutely fucked.

The second even half a centimeter slid in, Jungkook lost it and shoved his cock all the way to the base, the feeling so intense and hot that he momentarily forgot what existence was, because, fuck, it was like the pleasure ate him up and all he could feel was the overwhelming heat and tightness of her pussy, every single ridge and squelch of wetness, throbbing and pulsating around him. It was only when she moaned softly under him that Jungkook remembered that he wasn’t on some existential plane of existence and in the real world.

“Gah… it’s so… intense…” he panted out, eyes rolling back into his head as her muscles clenched around him.

“I’m not sure how you’re going to survive if I’m actually in heat,” she mused. “You’ll probably nut within a second of being in me.”

“Wow… that’s awfully rude… of you to say…”

Jungkook wanted to be chill, but it was impossible, because his hips were already moving, sliding in and out, smacking their hips together, groaning at the sensation of being roughly massaged all over by wet heat, soaked with her scent, already pushed to his limit and he had to bite he inside of his cheek to hold back.

“I should have… used a condom…”

“Not sure that would be much help, you horndog,” she teased.

“Do you even feel anything?” he hissed, roughly smacking his hips into hers. “Or are you going to… spend the entire time… giving me snarky commentary?”

Their eyes locked and he noticed how gold her irises were now, almost flaring with light.

“Need it harder,” she breathed.

The overwhelming passion sank into him with every breath he felt against his skin.

“Harder, please, Jungkook…”

And his body responded, lifting one of her legs and smacking their hips together hard, moaning as he felt her thigh against his skin, the heat closing in on him, fucking her into the mattress so roughly the bedframe shook and he couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe as his orgasm hit him so hard that he keeled over and nearly folded her in half, gasping as he shot into her throbbing heat, cock twitching, but still hard because of this whole scent possession thing so he just kept going, kept thrusting into her, lewd, loud slapping of flesh against flesh, squelching as he fucked his own cum into her.

She grinned at him, mischievous and wolf-like, so many pointed teeth, and he was so damn hard, he didn’t understand how she made him so crazy but, also, he didn’t care because it felt so fucking good. It felt like his entire cock was vibrating his pleasure and fanning out over his balls and ass and back and up his spine and into his head, made more intense by the soft growls of his name from her lips and the smell of his cum mixing with hers. She sucked in a tight breath, body tensing.

“Mm, ah, Jungkook…”

Her pussy tightened, squeezing him rough and hard, and Jungkook whimpered, falling over the edge, pleasure hitting every nerve and igniting them all at once, squeezing his eyes shut and gasping out her name, whole body shivering with lust, his cock jerking and spurting a second load into her all-consuming wet heat, so much that it slid back and coated his own cock. He shuddered and slipped down, losing strength of his arms as her hands quickly planted themselves on his chest, holding him up. Slowly, she shifted her leg down and he moaned, feeling his cock shift inside her and some of his cum squirt out between them, soaking into his sheets.

The scent of sex hovered around them, clinging to their skin.

Jungkook couldn’t move.

Did he die?

Kind of felt like it.

Nothing but heat and pleasure, her pussy wrapped around his cock, pulsing slowly.

She held him up easily, measured, even breaths as she came down, a distinct difference to his absolutely fucked-out state, panting, forehead coated with sweat. He couldn’t say anything. She just calmly lowered him to her chest, wiping his forehead with the back of her hand and exhaling, waiting for his heart to slow and beat in time with hers.

It took several minutes.

To be honest, Jungkook was kind of happy he couldn’t move. His cock, although softening, was having a great time in this wet warmth.

“Uh… this has never happened before…” he mumbled, pressing his cheek against hers so he wouldn’t have to look her in the eye.

She chuckled. “I figured you might need a second.”

“I’ll get better at it.”

“That’s true. You’ll need lots of practice.”

Silence. Comfortable silence. Except for a couple outside squabbling loudly like crows. It was kind of ruining the moment.

“You should have closed the window,” Jungkook scolded, inhaling the scent of her hair.

“My bad. I was a little distracted by you furiously jacking off.”

“… Kind of proud I still had it in me to fuck you.”

He stiffened. Her tongue traced his ear.

“It’s the spell,” she teased.

“You said it’s biology.”

She chuckled, the laugh rumbling her chest.

-

“Why are you always perfectly okay after we fuck?”

You shrugged, nibbling on the piece of cheese you found in Jungkook’s fridge. He was on the floor of the kitchen, panting, hair sweaty and sticking to his face, the floor an absolute mess of fluids after you rode him right here in his own kitchen.

“Guess I’m just built different.”

He gritted his teeth, slamming his fist on the floor.

“It’s hurting my pride.”

This was nice cheese. You chewed, enjoying the flavor.

“I wouldn’t be so depressed about it. Maybe you need to work out.”

Jungkook glared at you. You chuckled and squatted down, flicking your tail against his thighs. He sucked in a breath, moaning softly.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself. It’s only been a few hours since we fell asleep and woke up.”

He clicked his tongue. “I need a shower. Again.”

“That’s your fault, you know. You always want me to lick you all over.”

“Speaking of which, lick me all over in the shower, thanks in advance.”

-

Your father could smell him off you and declared he was going to eat him.

“You will not.”

Your father growled at you. It was quite intimidating and you would have run if he wasn’t your father.

“You. Will. Not.” You repeated yourself with sternness.

Your father had snapped his jaw, grimacing in annoyance. Black lips peeling back, showing all his sharp teeth, gold eyes flashing. He was always in wolf form. He rarely changed.

“I doubt he’s more than a gulp to me. A mere bunny.”

“You can have your opinion, but he’s mine.”

He stomped away, paws heavy on the stone floor.

“You’ll tire of him.”

Honestly, you expected more of a fight. But you hadn’t missed the tick of your father’s head as he sniffed you, the pensive spark in his eyes. Everyone said he wasn’t the same since your mother passed away. You wouldn’t know, but he definitely wasn’t the thoughtful type. You watched him walk away, black and silver tail swishing, claws scraping.

You wondered what your father was like when he was in love.

Did he like holding hands? Did he look at your mother in awe and tell her how beautiful she was?

Did he tell her he loved her?

Your father turned his large head, puffing heavily from his elongated snout. You didn’t say anything. He was a huge black wolf, even bigger than your wolf form. Next to your human form, you were comically small. But down the hall, you were almost the same size, eye level.

His white teeth flashed.

Then he faced forward again and walked away.

Was he going to say something but decided against it?

“I love you, Father.”

You said it softly. He was gone, but maybe he heard anyway.

The Dire Alpha had excellent hearing.

-

“Uh, are you okay?”

You flung yourself through his window, scowling angrily.

“My father made me train for no reason.”

“Train for what?”

“Fighting, obviously.”

You hit the floor of his bedroom with a hard thunk, body aching all over. Still wearing an oversized black hoodie and black jeans four sizes too big. Your father was relentless. You must be going soft if you’re dating a human. Well, you showed him. But not before half-dying from his strikes.

Jungkook hurried over to you, but you scowled, shooing him away. You got on your hands and knees, snarling at the pain, snapping your teeth.

“Do you need an ice pack or something?” he asked, peering at you as you mentally steeled yourself, hoisting your body to your feet.

“No,” was your stubborn response. “I am fine.”

“You look like you’re going to fall over.”

“Sparring with my father does that,” you muttered, cracking your neck. “You want to try?”

“No, not really.”

You finally got a good look at Jungkook. He was wearing a patterned dress shirt with black slacks. Blond hair styled and parted to one side, revealing his strong and handsome features.

“What’s with you?” you asked, confused by his appearance.

He gestured weakly to the bedroom door. “Well… I made dinner… so maybe you want to eat with me?”

Oh. Your cheeks flushed warmly.

“I would love to.”

And then you collapsed, the world going black.

-

Jungkook couldn’t move her.

He was a strong guy, but she was like a giant sack of bricks in this state, crumpled onto his bedroom floor, bushy tail flared out, silvery ears flopped to one side. She was still breathing, but it was pained and shallow. He grabbed one of his pillows and managed to lift her head, shoving it under her. How bad as it? He pushed up the hem of her hoodie and looked.

Oh.

Fuck.

That’s a lot of bruises.

He shoved the hoodie back down and looked back to her face.

Her eyes were cracked open, husky chuckle on her lips.

“I think I’m a little tired…”

Jungkook tugged on her sweater. “Can you move? Just to get onto the bed. I can’t lift you.”

She let out a puff of air. “Floor is fine.”

“No, it’s not. The love of my life does not belong on the floor.”

“Hah.”

Her eyes slipped closed.

“You called me the love of your life.”

Oh.

He did, didn’t he?

Jungkook looked down at the female Dire. Her soft tufted ears and lush silver tail, but otherwise human. Definitely wasn’t though. He knew that from experience.

He couldn’t leave her.

Not even as the dinner got cold and forgotten. He dragged all his bedding onto the floor and created a blanket circle around their bodies, nuzzling himself next to her. He placed his head beside hers and watched her face. She seemed to be in a deep, dep sleep. Jungkook smiled despite her not being able to see and kissed her nose.

Shut his eyes, enjoying their closeness.

Her tail came up and rested on his legs.

-

“So I’m the love of your life, huh?”

“Gah!”

Jungkook snapped his eyes open, jerking back. But he couldn’t go far, because she was on top of him, all her clothes off, on her hands and knees. His eyes widened. She still had bruises, but they seemed to be lighter, purple-green. She tilted her head, fluffy ears flickering. The necklace she wore had the diamond pendant and – he counted – eight rings, the same number as before. Whew.

She scratched her neck and he noticed her nails were painted black again.

“Why are you naked?” Jungkook sputtered.

“Got hot,” she mumbled. “I usually sleep naked.”

Jungkook stared into her eyes. She seemed tired, but not near collapsing like she had been when she entered. The window was closed.

“Can you change?”

“Hm?”

“Into your wolf form. Can you change right now?”

She looked down at him. “Yes, of course.”

“Can I see?”

She blinked.

“You a furry or something?”

“N-no? I just… want to see it…”

She raised an eyebrow and backed up, tail swishing. He sat up, watching her form as she moved to an open space in his room. Sleek, primal, powerful. It didn’t take long. Two, three steps and there was the crack of bone rearranging, a sharp gashing of teeth and the long snout appeared, lips peeled back as she shook her head. He almost missed it, the sudden swish of fur and swiftly it was all over, her frame suddenly huge, daunting, reminding him of that night when she had saved him. Wicked black claws, undeniably dangerous. Muscles flexing as she stepped in a circle, the white crescent fur pattern on her back gleaming against her silvery pelt, hairs tipped with black.

She cracked her neck, staring down at him. The necklace now looked comically small and the ceiling seemed far too low. Her voice seemed to resonate, but still husky and recognizable.

“Is this what you wanted?”

Her eyes were pure gold, glinting in the moonlight through his window.

“You’re beautiful,” Jungkook breathed.

She chuckled, sitting down, tail swishing. “Are you sure you’re not a furry?”

“I don’t know and I don’t really care,” Jungkook muttered, admiring the way the moon seemed to bring out the shine in her fur.

She padded over and encircled him, tail brushing against his chest. Plopped down on the blankets, nudging with her leathery black nose. Jungkook looked up into her golden orbs. She seemed to raise an eyebrow.

“Hm?”

He leaned back against her shoulder, burrowing in the softness.

“Can I… see your teeth?” he asked softly.

She clicked her tongue, chest vibrating. Took him a moment to realize she was containing her laughter.

“You’re a little freaky, Jungkook,” she chuckled and then she opened her mouth, sharp, pointed white teeth glistening, lowering them to him. Next to his shoulder, breathing in heavy puffs. Definitely could rip him apart in an instant.

Not going to lie.

Jungkook was a little turned on.

Her tongue slid out, licking his neck.

Slightly more turned on.

“Satisfied?” she drawled.

“Erm, yes.”

She closed her mouth and laid her head on the blankets.

“Naptime.”

And she nestled around him, letting him sleep against her silvery warmth.

-

You woke him up by licking him.

Softly, on his neck. But not subtly, because you let it drip on his skin, painting him with your scent. He groaned, shifting in your arms, but you held him still, hands on his torso. He was still wearing that nice dress shirt and slacks. His blond hair was a little ruffled from sleep, but you could see the effort. You felt bad for not realizing his intent sooner but, then again, you couldn’t choose your father’s orders.

You weren’t in wolf form anymore. That would be strange if you were.

But somehow, you didn’t think Jungkook would care.

You heard him mumble your name. You placed your lips on his neck and kissed him softly.

“Bite me.”

“Chomp.”

He clicked his tongue. “Be serious.”

“You would be dead if I was serious.”

“You know what I mean,” Jungkook muttered, taking your hands and placing them on the buttons of his dress shirt. “Just a little bit. I’m human, not fragile.”

He was right.

“Ah, sorry,” you whispered.

“Don’t apologize.” His voice was deep, leaning his head back on your shoulder, exposing his neck. “Mark me. Fuck me up. Show me you want me.”

You chuckled, tail swishing slowly.

“Sure.”

He asked for it.

Your lips opened, tongue sliding out, dripping all over his skin. Jungkook moaned under you, hands reaching back and finding your thighs, squeezing them. One button. Two buttons. Teeth pressed against his throat, soaking him with you. Three buttons. You bit down, softly, and sucked, inhaling his scent. He was wearing some kind of cologne. You licked it off, replacing it with you. Jungkook shivered, gasping as your hand slid into his shirt.

“Harder…”

“You’re such trouble, Jungkook,” you mumbled, kissing down his shoulder, nipping at his skin. He whined as you pressed your fingertip to his nipple, rubbing in slow circles. You sank your teeth in, not breaking skin, but definitely hard enough for him to feel it, sucking just as roughly. Fuck. The feeling of him in your canines, the subtle taste of his skin coating your tongue.  You growled in your chest, pinching his nipple and hurriedly undoing the rest of his shirt. Jungkook shuddered under your mouth, moaning as you pushed the fabric aside.

“Mmm, fuck, yes…”

You pulled away, seeing the dark purple mark on his skin, pinpricks of red where your teeth had dug in. He pressed his back into your chest, panting heavily. You leaned forward, parting your lips. Thick, viscous saliva dripped down, plopping onto his pecs, coating him with your scent. You took it and rubbed it against his nipples, and Jungkook instantly reared into your hands, moaning, hands flying down to his slacks and fumbling with the button.

“Fuck, you drive me crazy.”

Your lips pressed against his ear as he fought with his pants, grunting in annoyance as they weren’t coming off fast enough. You traced his earlobe with your tongue and he gasped, leaning into it, raising his hips to remove his slacks as you nipped just under his ear, right at the pulse point.

“You’re a fucking tease,” Jungkook growled.

You licked up and down, so much saliva that it trickled down his neck. He whimpered as your teeth closed in.

“Say something…”

You paused for a moment. Then you reached up and tangled your fingers in his hair, pulling him to one side to expose more of his neck to you.

“Time to show everyone you’re mine,” you snarled.

You gripped his head tightly and bit down, sucking his skin into your mouth. Jungkook’s body bucked into yours, throaty moans vibrating in your lips but you barely noticed, because suddenly you could smell his scent, his hand once again palming himself, spreading his pre-cum over his throbbing cock. The faintest prick and his blood touched you tongue.

Oh.

Fuck.

You drew back, eyelids fluttering, grating groan as you leaned forward and licked it off. Couldn’t help it, you were a damn carnivore and his blood was right there, so you had to remove your teeth, but you were still going to lick it up. Ugh, so good. Jungkook whined out your name and you lowered him to the blankets, crawling down to his hand still stroking his cock.

“C-Can you…?”

“No, I cannot. Move your hand so I can sit on your dick.”

He moved his hand and pouted at you. “But–”

You lifted your head and stared at him in the eye. Jungkook froze, eyes widening. You knew what it looked like. Pure gold, almost glowing. One side of his neck was patterned with purple and red, your bites on his skin. He wouldn’t be able to cover them easily. Your heart was beating fast, too fast. Was it the blood? His smell? His body with your ownership on his skin?

In any case, there was no way you were going to attempt to blow him now.

You opened your mouth, panting hard.

“Jungkook, I want to. Sit. On. Your. Dick.”

He nodded, pulling his hands away. “Yes. Please.”

You lifted your body and sank down on him. Jungkook choked on air, gripping the blankets tightly as you closed your eyes, exhaling deeply as you felt him fill you up. Had it ever felt like this before? You weren’t even close to heat and yet it was still so good, felt so nice with him inside you as you squeezed him with your muscles. Jungkook gasped, shoulders tensing at the sensation.

“Are you trying to end me in seconds?” he hissed, but you ignored him, rocking your hips, holding onto his waist, sliding him in and out of you easily. You breathed in, pressing your fingers into his skin as your rode him and he turned into a moaning puddle under you, working his hardness, focusing more on clenching him inside you rather than smacking your hips together.

“It doesn’t matter,” you breathed. “I’ll make sure you can keep going.”

“Fuck, you’re mean,” Jungkook gritted out.

You opened your eyes, looking down at him. Him and his head pressed back into the blankets, blond hair contrasting the navy fabric, jaw tight, eyes screwed shut as he tried to hold on. He felt your gaze and cracked his eyes open, surveying you through his lashes.

You smiled at him, rolling your hips down his length.

“Don’t–”

You opened your mouth and let it drip onto his abs.

“Fuck!”

His hands smacked into yours and his back arched sharply, muffled wail as he came inside you, hot thick strings painting your insides. It was a sudden, euphoric sensation that seemed to flood you with pleasure from bottom up, massaging his length as his cum squelched with your movements, soaking down your walls and coating his cock, trickling onto his balls. You slid your hands out of his and spread your saliva over his stomach, still warm from his hot skin.

You could tell it was taking over him, the way his hands crawled up your thighs, gripping your hips, opening his dark eyes, pupils blown out, completely intoxicated by lust.

You slid your hands to his sides, planting them on the floor.

“Fuck me back, Jungkook,” you drawled huskily. “Shove your cum into me.”

Hard, rough, fast – you slammed your hips into him and Jungkook groaned, grabbing your ass and raising his hips to meet yours, an obscene squish as his cum was jammed back into your folds. You bit your lip, grinning, all your nerves tingling, ears and tail bristling, chasing your release as you thrust him into you and he smacked his hips back, matching your pace. His eyes found yours. Darkness to gold.

“Shit, you look so hot…”

You tightened around him and he moaned, throwing his head back, the purple-red hickeys on his neck flexing with his muscle.

“Fuck, you’re so pretty with my bites,” you panted, towering over him, the head of his cock jamming into your deepest parts, so perfectly nice and wet and messy, his cum and your juices spilling out onto his legs and balls, soaking the blankets under you as you fucked him relentlessly. “Cum for me, Jungkook. Let’s make a mess.”

Your name tore of out of his throat, and you gasped as he filled you again, all the way to the brim, eyes fluttering closed as your orgasm shadowed his, suffocating and unrelenting, squeezing his stiff length so hard that your cum and his cum splattered down, painting mixed scents on both your crotches. Strong and heady, intoxicating and addictive. You sat all the way down, moaning as you relished in the joined wetness, thick and wonderful, your hands coming up and caressing his heaving torso, his hands falling from your hips and hitting the floor with a thud.

Slow, deep breaths.

You looked down at Jungkook. His eyes were closed and he was breathing shallowly. His blond hair stuck to his sweaty forehead, jaw tense. You patted his chest and he opened one eye, peering at you.

“Should I get up?”

His hands came back up and rested on your thighs. “No. I like this.”

You pulsated around his twitching cock and Jungkook closed his eyes again, sighing in satisfaction, listening to the lewd spurt of more cum dripping out. You lifted one of your hands and placed it on your lips. Then you lowered it and placed your fingers to his lips.

Jungkook’s eyes opened, brown orbs hazy.

You grinned at him, silvery ears flicking upward.

-

Jungkook stared at himself in the mirror.

This t-shirt was not going to cut it.

He went back to his closet and retrieved a scarf.

Nope, this just looked stupid.

He went back to the closet and found a turtleneck. A white and black striped one.

Well. Less stupid. Too hot for it, but that was his own fault.

Jungkook pulled down the collar. He traced the bite mark. He swallowed, feeling the arousal building up inside him once again. Remembered the way she felt around him. The way his whole body seemed drawn to her, the way his cock was soaked with him own cum and hers. She had already left. Had things to do and all that. A slow smile grew on his lips.

He had ten minutes before he actually had to leave for work.

He could annoy her for a little bit.

Jungkook’s tattooed right hand slid down to his jeans, undoing the button.

-

You raised your head.

Frowned.

You father got up from the table and took his plate with him. Hunk of raw meat and all.

“Father?”

The gigantic black wolf paused and glared at you. Blood dripped from his white teeth.

“Daughter, I recognize his scent just as well as you.”

Oh.

Yikes.

You decided not to tell Jungkook that.

Ignorance is bliss.

-

“No.”

“Why not?”

You were sitting on the rooftop of his apartment complex. He had taken you up here to show you the sunset over the city. Fed you a large hunk of raw high-quality meat and three bottles of soju. Became slightly upset when you didn’t get drunk. Too much muscle mass, perhaps.

“I’m not going to fuck you on the full moon, Jungkook,” you chuckled as you nibbled on a piece of cheese. It was such an interesting flavor. Jungkook had said it was some kind of gourmet cheese, but to you it was only a wedge of very tasty dairy.

“It might be nice?” he tried, nudging you.

You chuckled. “It’ll definitely be nice, but you still can’t move after I’m done with you at the moment, so let’s build up some tolerance first.”

“Let’s,” Jungkook pouted. “You just mean me.”

You were sitting on a green plaid blanket Jungkook had spread out for you two. You looked over to him and his dark denim jacket with matching dark jeans. He was wearing a white Beatles t-shirt under it.

“Do you actually like the Beatles or are you just wearing it for aesthetics?”

Jungkook looked down at his shirt. “Of course, I like the Beatles. Who doesn’t like the Beatles?” He snapped his head up, eyes widening. “You know who the Beatles are?”

You rolled your eyes. “I keep telling you I am not from the medieval times; there are just some primitive ideals in my culture, ugh.” You poked his chest and he rubbed it, frowning. You continued, ignoring his frown. “Obviously I know who they are. The Beatles changed music. Recording, songwriting, artistic presentation – they brought music to new heights. They changed music not only as an industry but also the way people felt about music. Think about it. They became an international act when people were only listening to music on the radio. Do you know how insane that is? Everything travels so fast on the Internet nowadays, but the Beatles became popular without the internet. Can you even imagine that in this day and age?”

You turned your head to make your point and Jungkook was staring at you, slack-jawed.

“What?”

He shook his head, smiling. “I like listening to you. I totally agree by the way. Do you like music?” he said excitedly. “I work at a records store. You want to come by sometime?”

You blinked at him.

“Ah… sure. That sounds nice.”

-

part iii

--

masterpost

[bigteefsmallbrain]

General Soul Eater HCs please

Soul Eater: General headcanons

Death the Kid:

He’s an art critic

Hear me out

He is obsessed with symmetry, and loves the beauty in it

So when he sees something non-symmetrical, especially in art, he can’t help but to critique it

May go as far as to send a personal letter to the artist (If they’re alive) about how offensive it is that they created something so asymmetrical

If he can’t send a letter to the artist, he’ll send one to the owner/museum and request it be taken down, while listing reasons why it’s horrible.

Anything he writes has an even amount of letters and words

Be that his test answers

Essays

Letters

Diary entry

Speaking of diary entries, he definitely has one

But it’s actually just a catalogue of symmetrical things he’s seen

He puts photos into it and writes about how beautiful it was to see

He doesn’t care what it is much, just that it was beautiful

Meaning he takes photos of people too

Which can be unnerving at times

He’s probably taken a photography class before, or at the very least is self taught

Literally has a photo album of things he views are beautiful, but non symmetrical and he would die if anyone found it

Like a particular sunset with uneven hills

Or a flower with one too many petals

Definitely has an 8 ball, not a magic one, just an 8 ball, it’s placed on a velvet pillow in his room and he frequently polishes it

Elizabeth Thompson:

Makes several backup plans as a way to cope

Especially after dealing with an experience with a ghost

She has notebooks full of them, labeled and detailed

At one point she started putting them in alphabetical order but stopped immediately when she realized Kid’s perfectionist habits were rubbing off on her

She practices acting in the mirror

Usually so she can charm a man into dating her

But also to con people

She used to be a “Street rat” and that thought of ending up on the streets again constantly plagues her mind

She takes full advantage of the “Rich life”

Shopping sprees

Quality makeup

Salons and spa days

The works

She lets Patty’s thought that she knows everything get to her head

The fact alone that her sister believes in her that much is enough to make her a bit egotistical

And Patty’s admiration for the girl makes it ten times worse

She literally doesn’t care if she ends up being wrong because she’ll just be right next time anyways

So stubborn in that aspect

Patricia Thompson:

She likes dark humor

You can’t convince me otherwise, you actually can’t, I have evidence

She made an origami Giraffe, and broke its neck

Laughed when Kid said he “wants to die”

She literally pokes him with a stick when he’s depressed

She likes dark humor, and probably looks up jokes to tell others just for kicks

She’s secretly sadistic, and likes scaring her sister and others

She may act naïve and innocent, but she is anything but

She definitely has, more than once, banged on Liz’s door at 3AM just to hear her sister squeal like a little girl

Honestly, she probably purposefully gets their pose wrong, just to see her sisters annoyance and laugh when Kid gets smacked

She likes origami

Probably first got into it because of the paper ninja stars

Then just found it relaxing

She most likely makes the ninja stars mostly, and keeps a box of her origami creations somewhere

Has in the past, and will not hesitate to do so again, beat someone up for kicks or just to destress

Patty has two faces, the childlike innocent one, and the insane anger one

So it’s not too far fetched to say that she’ll hide her anger till she can corner someone alone and beat them up

Or that she gets bored and decides to do so

I wouldn’t be too surprised if her sister occasionally joined as well

Maka Albarn:

She’s a Harry Potter nerd and you can’t convince me otherwise

She loves the concept of magic

Loves the dynamic between Ron and Hermione, though feels a bit of Deja vu thinking about it

Probably used to write fanfiction, but in a way that made it seem like it was actually part of the story

She will hit you if you mention it

Definitely the type to compare books to their movie counterparts

Not in like, a critic way, but she will definitely rant about the differences, or how a character looks exactly like she imagined, or if they didn’t put in a particular scene she liked in the book

Forces Soul into movie nights, but it’s only the movie counterparts to her books

I can see her forcing everyone into a group study session

Be super organized about it, and setting it up in a way so that no one can refuse

She probably has specific ways for everyone to study

Like having Black☆Star work out while studying so he retains the knowledge better

Or setting up the session in a symmetrical way so Kid doesn’t freak out about it

She writes letters to her mom, as a coping mechanism for when her emotions get to be a little too much

Like when she’s having a bad day

Or if she’s particularly peeved at something Soul did

She writes a lot more letters when it comes around the time of her mom's birthday or death anniversary

She likes the thought of an old timey romance, and often listens to songs that give off that kind of feel

She really likes “It’s Been a Long, Long Time”, it’s one of her favorites

She also likes the old Disney songs, like “Once Upon a Dream” and “So This Is Love”

She would be so embarrassed if anyone found out though, especially if it was her dad or Soul

She isn’t quite sure why she’s so worried about Soul finding out though

Speaking of, she half realizes, half doesn’t with anyone's romantic feelings, including her own

She’ll fantasize about getting a love letter or having someone present her with a bouquet of roses

But if it actually happens she’s like “Oh, thanks friend!”

She knows the behaviors, she just can’t put two and two together

They would have to be extremely blunt, no over dramatic confession, just “I’m in love with you and want to be romantically involved with you”

She reads dictionaries for fun

She really likes to read out of date dictionaries, just to see what words and slang existed back then

She also highlights words she likes and uses them frequently on accident

She has most definitely yelled “I have cupid’s kettlebells*! I’m not flat!” at Soul before

Soul Evans:

Bottles. Up. His. Emotions.

He’s influenced by “toxic masculinity” and fully believes that being vulnerable in a serious way “isn’t cool”

He will bottle everything up so deep down inside that it seems impossible for it to surface

Feelings of inferiority to others? Bottled

Want to cry or break down? Nope, gotta be cool

Started crying in front of someone and can’t stop? He’s not crying, you’re clearly blind

Speaking of crying, once he starts, and I mean genuinely starts, it’s so hard to get him to calm down, and even then the tears don’t stop

Sometimes he’ll start to freak out and send himself into a panic attack because the tears just won’t stop

He’s that influenced by the thought of being vulnerable

On a lighter note, he does adore playing the piano, but the only person he’ll play for is Maka

He swears it’s not favoritism, and it’s partially true, but favoritism does play a large role in it

He frequently drags Maka to his room to show her a new piece he put together

And if he notices her feeling a little down that day, he’ll start playing a song that he knows she likes

He definitely knows about her love for old timey romance songs and is very embarrassed to admit a lot of the pieces he constructs are based off of that

The walls are p a p e r t h i n , he can hear her music through the walls

He secretly finds it adorable when he catches her listening to it because she’ll be dancing around to it

He also frequently finds himself thinking about those moments

He’s the stereotype that parents tell little girls about, with how boys will bully their crush

He’s a lot more playful and easy going, but still teases Maka, so much

Unlike Maka, he’s fully aware of his feelings, and acknowledges them, but bottles it up, only letting himself entertain the thought every once in a while

He jabs at Maka’s lack of “Cupids Kettlebells” as a way to try and ensure she won’t fall for him, because he doesn’t know what he’ll do if she does

He reads the same dictionaries that Maka does, not for fun, but so he can know just what the actual h e l l she’s saying

More than once he’s had to look up a particular word or phrase online because he can’t find it in the dictionary

“What the hell? It’s an old Victorian saying!? Where does she keep finding this stuff!?”

Subconsciously, as time goes on, he starts using old phrases as well, he was so embarrassed the first time he got caught saying “Keep your idle daddles* off of her!” when defending someone from a perv.

Black☆Star:

Is so unbelievably selfish with food

It’s not even funny

He will stab someone if they reach for his food

He surprisingly eats healthy most of the time though?

Says something like “I have to otherwise I’ll never surpass the gods!”

The only person who could ever p o s s i b l y steal his food is Tsubaki, but even that’s pushing it

He has the weirdest dreams, and I mean weird

Dreams like being turned into a potato and being cooked, mashed, and devoured by Tsubaki herself

He didn’t talk to her for a week after that dream, and refused to eat potatoes for a full year because “You never know if it could be a person turned into a potato!”

He was also very offended when Tsubaki ate potatoes during that time period

He takes things very literally

Like up above, if someone does something in a dream, he acts like it was real

Or if someone makes a joke about fighting, he will drag them outside to fight

He’s secretly scared of Tsubaki

But it’s for literally the stupidest reason

And he fully believes that because of it she could fight god and win

She used to have a pet cockroach

One of the flying ones

And he is so unbelievably scared of them, because for some reason they just don’t die, and they have w i n g s

So the fact she owned one as a pet scares him so bad even though it was literally for only a week

He has a soft spot for children

He doesn’t really know why

He just does

Is secretly really good with kids

Literally the definition of dad material

He has his flaws but still

Little kids are the only people who could steal his food and get away with it

Every. Time. and it makes the others so mad

Tsubaki Nakatsukasa:

What can I say, she’s perfect

She probably receives love letters

Reads them over when she’s feeling sad

Likes to keep them in a shoebox she painted

She definitely paints to unwind and relax

Likes to go outside and paint the sunrise/sunset

Takes note of beautiful scenery so she can come back in her free time and paint it

She probably draws/sketches too

Carries a sketchbook with her

More than likely has drawn Black☆Star doing something

Like napping or training

She’d never show him though, too scared of inflating his ego or giving him the wrong idea

Stress bakes/cooks

We know she cooks

Liz took advantage of it and pretended Tsubaki’s cooking was her own

So we know she does

Sometimes painting/drawing doesn’t cut it

So she heads to the kitchen and bakes away her worries and unwinds

The main reason Tsubaki would possibly be spared from Black☆Star’s stabbing habit with food is because she cooks all the meals

She makes sure everyone is comfortable around her

She’ll go as far as to learn someone's customs and practice cooking their unique cuisine just to make sure that they feel comfortable and safe in her presence

She radiates mom friend energy

She’s perfect mom material, perfect wife material, perfect in general honestly

*Cupid's Kettlebells is a old term for a woman's bust

*Idle daddles is a old term for hands

I Hope you like these general headcanons for the main seven! You didn’t say which characters you’d like to see, so I played it safe by putting the main characters! Thank you for the ask!

[daisiesandshakes]

Fanfic (William Shakespeare & reader)

Warning: light smut

Also warning: english is not my native language, but I hope you enjoy!

Words: about 2000 (wow... I am surprised by myself)

One step closer

It was a bad day.  In your opinion it couldn't have been worse. Since nearly three weeks now you're helping Shakespeare with his new play. Your task was to take care of the costumes, stopping by for cleaning or darning them. But after a few days an actress catched a bad flue and William asked you to take her place.

You happily agreed to his wish. First everything went smooth, it was challenging but also fun. You liked to work with the other actors right away, enjoying their open and caring personalities, but the most important thing: You are able to spend time with Shakespeare.

At first you were only curious about him, you wanted to know more about the great mysterious William Shakespeare, who has left the mansion, and for sure you wanted to find out more about his work. The more time passed by, the more you could see your feelings change.

By this time it is impossible for you to face his glare without trembling legs or hundreds of butterflies in your stomach. William Shakespeare- the perfect gentleman, always treating you with respect and a gentleness that borders on adoration. Plus he is an extremly hard worker, fully dedicated to his plays, he is considerate and charming, he's got a fine sense of humor always making you smile, and his voice... oh you could spend hours only listening to him. In one or two rare moments you were even able to notice a softer, almost shy side at him and at that rare moments you knew you were lost. Helpless to his force of attraction like a planet to the force of gravity from a black hole.

You're really trying hard to hide that you're in love with him.

Who are you at all? Only a normal young woman who fell in love with one of history's greatest men. He deserves better than you. William deserves a woman who is as much talented and captivate as him. So you decided to admire and love him in secrecy.

But unfortunately those secret feelings for him happened to be the reason for your desaster today.

First William adjusted your new costume over and over again. You could feel his hands moving over your body and as he corrected the ribbons of your corset you were at your limit. You sensed his breath in your neck and there was no way to hide the tremble that rushed through your form. "Are you okay? Do you need something?" His enticing voice next to your ear... You almost blurted out 'You!"

With shaky words you explained you only forgot to eat proper this morning. He hummed at your words, then promised to offer after rehearse everything to you what you desire. Ah... Your mind spun.

Later he took place for one of his actors to show how the scene should look like. That ment he held you in his arms and whispered lovingly lines while looking straight into your eyes. You weren't able to remember your part anymore, you barely managed to stutter an excuse and asked embarressed for a small break. Not waiting for the answer you broke from the embrace and hurried off the stage - when the next drama happened.

You lost balance as your long dress stuck to the rail und you fell down the last stair. One of the actors helped you up and you assured quickly to be okay while realising the beautiful costume is ruined. Tearing up you fled the scene without looking back.

And now you're sitting on the chaise in the changing area, desperate, full of shame and tired of yourself.

Hot tears of frustration are spurting out as Shakespeare opens the door slightly. " May I come in?" He asks with a soft voice. A sobb leaves your lips and you try to wipe your tears away as soon as possible."Sure, William". He sits down next to you, trying to meet your gaze. But you are feeling ashamed, looking down, avoiding his eyes. "I.. I am so sorry for ruining the rehearse and the beautiful dress..." another tear rolls down your cheek. With two fingers under your chin Will lifts your head.

"There is no need to apologize, my brave maiden", he whispers and let you drown in his enchanting, mismatched eyes. You can't help it - more tears are spilling out and his other hand reaches up to wipe them away affectionaly. Will's face is so close to yours, you can feel his breath on your skin. He cups your face. "Tis is all my fault and my heart is bleeding with sorrow, knowing I did this to you". You frown. "I don't understand William... Why should my clumpsiness be your fault?"

Staring in your eyes, he sighs. "I know what your heart desires, my fair maiden. Now I know it for sure." His thumbs caress softly  your cheeks. "The past days I could see a change in your glare when you looked at me.. and when you thought I wouldn't notice that your eyes are following me". In shock you're holding your breath and you could feel the heat rising in your face.

The playwright shows a small, almost shy smile "But.. I wasn't sure at first, you left me wondering what brought up tis change in your behavior. Mayhap I divined it and I only was afraid to let your very soul whisper to the solidified heart of mine, which didn't know how to respond anymore after so many lonely centuries."  Will swollows hard "Sometimes I felt a bit confused about you..." he confesses.

"When I made a move upon you, you made a move backwards. Sometimes you took two steps. Then again I thought to glimpse the truth demand of your heart in your eyes. And the thought that it could be me what your heart desires made me weak."

At this point you're questioning reality and your eyes grow wide in disbelieve. Are you fantasizing? Could it be...?

"Yes, I am weak for you my fair maiden..." He continues in a whisper as if he can read your mind. He leans a bit closer, his forehead touching yours. "Tis weakness frightened me" his lips graces your eyebrows, then your cheekbones, a shiver runs down your spine. His lips feel so warm and soft... A whimper leaves your lips and you close your eyes.

"But at sudden my soul obtained greater fears to me." William's lips travel down, brushing your jaw. You inhale the scent of his silken hair and his shaving water. Your mind goes blank and your heart is beating so fast and hard now, you're afraid he can hear it.

"Not to see tis very expression in your eyes because of me anymore. Not having you around me anymore. Never being able to touch you..." Now he whispers in your ear, his lips touching your earlobe ever so slightly and you can't supress a moan. "As I knew my true fears and my deepest longing, I decided to force you to a reaction... And though I feel ashamed for doing tis to you... " William murmurs between tender butterfly kisses he places along your jawline. Shouldn't you be angry now with Shakespeare?  But your mind wasn't able to create a reasonable thought and his alluring sing-song voice hypnotizes you. Forgetting everything else, you only want his touch and get lost in your love for him.

"Your oh so sweet, passionate reactions brought tis insecure heart of mine more joy I could ever  imagine. For now there is no turning back... Nor for me, nor for you fair maiden."

He stops moving his mouth over your face and with a seductive voice he pleads "Look at me."

With intermittently breath you open your eyes to meet his stare and your heart flutters over the desperate, wanting  glance.

"Would you forgive tis poor, troublesome sinner?" Barely able to speak you manage somehow to whisper:"How can I not forgive you, Will? I love you so much."

Moving his fingers through your hair he grabs the back of your head, his eyes now dark and full of pleasure. " To grace me with those words.. they make me dizzy with desire..."

Again Shakespeare leans in closer, his burning eyes glued to your mouth. "And would you allow tis poor sinner who loves you insanely, wildly and infinitely to taste your lips...?"

Your heart misses a beat. Maybe two. This time you skip the answer, pulling him at his collar into a kiss.

William lets out a moan of surprise, throwing his arms around you, pressing your body against his. The kiss grows fast deeper as you feel his tongue flickering against your lips, begging for entrance. Obeying his wish, you let his tongue slip inside and the world around you stops existing.There was nothing you could do but moan into his kiss helplessly. Feeling his demanding tongue pushing in deep, then teasingly intertwinning with yours, while his hands endlessly caress the curves of your body, ruins  every yet existing rest of reason. The uprising heat in your veins burns to a point of hurt and starts a raging fire from your belly down to your inner thighs.

Suddenly William breaks the kiss, pulling your head to his chest, where you can hear his speeding heartbeat. "We should stop here my fair temptress, or else I won't be able to hold myself back anymore."

What? No no no... now that you've got a hint of the taste of everything you were craving for the last days, you have no intention to stop so soon. Your body still humming with pleasure you cling to his shoulders and leave a trail of small kisses from his collarbone up to his neck. Rubbing his cheek against yours he whines "Ah my godess, my temptress... " burrying his face at your neck he inhales your scent "You can't imagine how much I crave for your blood... it's calling me, singing alluring to me like a Sirene..."

As his tongue laves over your neck your form trembles and a lewd moan escapes your lips. He found one of your most sensitive spots.  His grip at your body tightens. He brushes his soft lips over the spot again with a flickering of his tongue. You can feel your hips bucking at this sensation and you gasp.

"I can't... stand it, I can't resist.." Shakespeare's voice - so needy and trembling with passion.

"Bite me Will!" You blurt out.  "I beg you, please bite me!" Does this desperate voice really  belong to you?

William hesitates only a brief second, then he pushes your body down, then let his fangs sink into your delicate skin with a groan.

After a sharp but short prick waves of burning, unearthly passion roll through you over and over again.

This passion cannot be human, it sets your entire body immediatly on fire and your core clenches. You can hear Shakespeare crying out as loud as you, pressing his hips against yours. Crying and moaning you start to pass out, repeating his name like a mantra.

As you open your eyes again, William fondles with your hair, observing you with a glance so concerning and lovingly, it almost makes you cry.

"I am so, so sorry... I was too greedy.."

You smile at him. "Don't feel sorry Will, I am doing fine and... " You inhale sharp "and by all the gods,  it was.. intense..."

You can feel your desire rising up again only by the thought of what happened before.

Shakespeare watches you with an intense stare, swallowing every reaction your body shows. His fingertips brush lightly over your lips before kissing you fiercly and senseless.

Then he pulls himself away.

He pants, placing a tender kiss on top of your head "I wish to seduce my godess in an adequate ambiance. So I'll take you now home with me, making sure I fulfill every wish and dream you can imagine... " he whispers seductively as he nuzzles his face in your hair. You both hold still for a few minutes, trying to calm down again, just enjoying to embrace each other. Unable to stop smiling, tears sting in your eyes. You can't remember that you felt happier anytime in your life.

Thank you for reading! 💝

Part 2

[scuttling]

Tempting

Fandom: Criminal Minds Pairing: Aaron Hotchner/Latina OFC Sophie Cortes Word Count: 2,392 Tags: 16+, Mature SFW, Pre-relationship, Fantasizing, Accidentally turned on, Mentions of sex Summary: Aaron and Sophie both find themselves... tempted. Collection: Sophie Cortes timeline, 7-12 Months at the BAU (See Masterlist for reading order) Link to AO3 or read below! “Hey, just wanted to hand off my profiles,” Sophie says as she peeks her head into Hotch’s office Wednesday night. “Any idea when the department will catch up to the 21st century and let us do these on the computer?” she asks playfully, and he smiles, rolls his eyes a bit.

“It’s not the department that makes us do these on paper, it’s me. Morgan has been trying to get me to switch to digital, says Garcia can make us a user-friendly system in her sleep.” She crosses her arms, leaning a hip against the doorframe.

“And you’re resistant because…?”

“Honestly, I don’t know. Maybe it’s nostalgia, or because I hate change.”

“As long as it's not because you’ll miss seeing my smiling face at the end of the day, turning in my files,” she says, and though it’s obvious she’s teasing, that kind of is part of the answer.

He doesn’t want to be just a figure in his office, silently collecting completed case files with a ping of his computer. He knows they know his door is always open, but it’s sometimes the excuse of turning in their work that leads them there, gets them in the door, and he thinks it’s important to maintain.

“All joking aside, I think it could really benefit the team. If you wanted a beta tester, I’d be happy to try it out; we can get together once a week for a couple weeks to discuss any bugs or issues we find with the system. The others don’t even need to know; I could do my regular cases during the day, stay later once or twice a week and work them on the computer. I don’t mind the overtime, I’ve got nothing going on.”

“You should go enjoy your life, not spend extra hours holding my hand because I’m resistant to change.”

“I want to, though, if it will help. And I said I don’t mind the overtime.” They stare each other down for a moment; he is the first to cave, sighing and pushing a hand through his hair.

“I’ll talk to Garcia, see if she has capacity to work on the program this week.” Her answering smile is almost blinding, and he feels warmth spread in his chest; he's been feeling that a lot lately, always where Sophie is concerned, but especially when she smiles. “Hey, while I’ve got you, do you mind looking at a case with me? I can’t help feeling that I’m missing something.”

“Sure, of course.” She walks fully into his office, around the desk so she’s looking over his shoulder at the open file. Her hair falls in cascading waves around her face before she gets a chance to tuck a few strands behind her ear, and the smell of her shampoo is... tempting, to say the least.

It’s coconut, and jasmine, maybe, a light, tropical scent that makes him think of palm trees, fresh pineapple, warm sand under his feet… Sophie in a bikini, a tiny thing that shows off her every curve… Sophie curled up next to him in a private cabana, laughing softly in the moonlight… Sophie on a soft bed in a hotel room, her bare skin, even darker from sunbathing, a beautiful contrast to crisp white sheets…

“Have you considered that the second unsub could be a woman? That would explain how the victims are being lured from the mall—a woman probably wouldn’t stop in a parking garage at night for a man, but she would for another woman, if she’s in trouble.” She turns to look at him, and he’s shaken from his fantasy abruptly.

“No, uh, I hadn’t considered that. That closes the gap in my profile. Good thinking.”

“That’s why you keep me around, isn’t it?” He earns another, softer smile, and he thinks about leaning in to kiss her, how easy that would be. It doesn’t take long to shake that thought away, because it’s almost literally insane, but he can’t deny that he had it.

“Something like that. Are you headed home?” She stands fully, and he’s glad, because that means the temptation is gone. It’s not her fault in any way, all his, but he can’t deny it gets worse the closer she is.

“Not home; the girls and I are meeting around the corner for a drink. Will you be finishing up soon?”

“Probably not, but it’s alright. I have nothing going on,” he says, repeating her turn of phrase. He looks down at his work, and she sighs lightly.

“You could have something going on. Come out for a drink with me.”

“And crash your meeting with the girls?” He’s not entirely certain he’d be welcome, or comfortable, but she makes it sound so easy. Like it’s something he could just decide to do, if he wanted.

“Trust me, they won’t mind.”

“It’s a nice offer, thank you. Maybe another time.” She rests a hand on his desk, on top of his case file so he can’t finish filling out the consultation paperwork, and he has to look up and make eye contact with her, which he’s sure is by design. She’s too good at reading him, sometimes. “Definitely another time. I really do appreciate the offer.”

“I’m gonna hold you to it, Hotch. You need a life outside of this place.” She lifts her hand from the desk, places it briefly on his shoulder, and then heads for the door. “Have a good night.”

“You too,” he sighs at her retreating back. His feelings seem to be getting a little too hard to ignore. Their next case doesn’t come until the beginning of the next week. Sophie goes with Hotch to interview a victim’s mother in hopes that they can find the woman who is currently missing before the unsub kills her, but they come up with nothing, which is all they’ve come up with all day.

It’s clear Hotch is not pleased with their progress. He stands outside the car for a moment, looking like he’s trying to compose himself, and he takes off his jacket and throws it in the back seat.

“Damn it,” he hisses when they get back into the car, slamming his hands against the steering wheel; he scrubs a hand through his hair, unbuttons his cuffs, and rolls up his shirt sleeves a bit more angrily than seems strictly necessary. Sophie can’t keep her eyes off of his hands as he pushes the fabric up over his forearms—baring firm muscles covered in thick, dark hair—and when he throws the car into reverse and turns his head, placing his palm on the back of her headrest while he looks behind them, it gets her a little… hot.

It’s nothing new, of course. She has been feeling certain things, where Hotch is concerned—some emotional things, some physical things—for a little while now, if she’s being honest with herself. And she’s usually got the presence of mind to ignore it, or force it to the back of her thoughts, but he caught her off guard and she’s spiraling, now, imagining his hands on either side of her head, on her throat, holding open her thighs. His hands are close all the time, and visible, and the thought of reaching out to touch them is just so… tempting.

She must be making an oh, shit face, because his eyes become more inquisitive, his features a little softer. “What’s wrong?” She’s breathing heavily, and her cheeks feel warm, so she probably looks insane; she just shakes her head and exhales lightly, tries to calm herself.

“Nothing, it’s nothing.” He looks like he absolutely does not believe her, and she curses herself for the hundredth time for choosing to work around a bunch of profilers; they’re always thinking, analyzing, squinting their eyes at you and trying to figure you out, and it can get really irritating.

“I shouldn’t have reacted like that. I’m sorry if I upset you,” he says when he’s done squinting. She almost wants to laugh: he’s worried about upsetting her over a minor curse word while she’s literally hot under the collar for him; her chest feels like it’s on fire, always quick to flush when she’s aroused, and she’s thanking the gods that she chose a crew neck t-shirt today and not a v-neck, or the situation would probably be a lot more awkward.

“You didn’t upset me, Hotch, it’s okay,” she insists, and he breaks eye contact to focus on the road.

They ride in silence the rest of the way to the precinct, but he doesn’t move to exit the vehicle after he takes the keys out of the ignition. “I’m sorry again for my outburst. I shouldn’t have reacted that way, at least not with you in the car.” She sits back in her seat, because this is now about more than her embarrassing moment from before.

“You’re allowed to be human, you know,” she tells him, and when it looks like he’s about to argue, she shakes her head. “I know the bureau likes to discourage it, but being in tune with our emotions and other people’s emotions is what makes us the best at what we do. Don’t apologize for the things you feel.”

“I have to lead by example. It’s the best way to set clear expectations.”

“Telling us your expectations is the best way to set clear expectations. You don’t have to pretend to be emotionless. When you’re angry, be angry.” He frowns, looks at her like what she’s saying makes absolutely no sense.

“When I got angry just now, you were looking at me like you were seeing something about me for the first time. Like you were afraid of me.”

“I wasn’t afraid of you, it’s… it’s nothing. I’d really rather not get into it.” His face softens again, and he’s giving her a look that’s usually reserved for families of victims, which throws her off guard.

“I know that victims of abuse can sometimes have a negative reaction to shouting…”

She wants to groan. He’s being so kind, but if he doesn’t let this go...

“I’m not a victim of abuse, and you didn’t scare me.” He still looks guilty, and if that’s what he thinks happened, and that’s how she made him feel? Well she’s gotta come clean sooner than later. She takes a deep breath. “You turned me on, okay? You were angry, and you rolled up your sleeves, and then you put your hand on the back of my seat and it just… affected me. I can’t believe I’m saying this,” she mutters, covering her face with her hand. Hotch processes that, is still processing that when she removes her fingers from her face. He just looks at her, expression carefully blank.

“Oh. Uh, well. It’s natural; nothing you could have done about it.” She sighs at that, runs a hand through her hair.

“I know, I’m not ashamed of being aroused, or anything, but—we’re working, you’re my boss. The situation is awkward.” He looks at the steering wheel, like he can’t say what he’s going to say directly to her.

“You shouldn’t feel awkward. This kind of thing happens to all of us.” She arches her brow, smiles a little incredulously.

“You’re telling me you, Aaron Hotchner, have been inappropriately turned on on the job before?” He shrugs, nodding.

“Sure, yes.” Her brows rise further into her hairline, not believing him for a second; he sighs at her expression and shakes his head, huffing a laugh. “Okay. You were in my office last week, leaning over my shoulder to look at a case file, and I could smell your shampoo. It’s coconut, right?” She nods, not sure exactly where the story is going, but she feels herself getting hot again, against literally her every wish. “Well, it made me daydream of the vacation I so desperately want: a drink in my hand, sun on my skin, sand beneath my feet… making love late at night with a breeze blowing through the open patio door.”

“Oh.” Her heart is racing, beating so hard she’s almost surprised the sound doesn’t give her away, and her breathing is heavy, and she thinks he’s about to speak again when someone taps on his window abruptly. He rolls it down and Gideon sticks his head in.

“There’s another body, 482 West Hemlock; you two might as well stay in the car and meet us there.”

“Will do,” Hotch replies, and Gideon nods, steps away from the car. If he wonders why they were sitting there unbuckled for so long, he doesn't show it.

They back out of the parking lot sexy-incident-free, and they’ve gone a few blocks before he turns to look at her again. “Are we okay? I hope I didn’t say too much.”

“No, you didn't. We’re okay.” She smiles softly, actively thinking about anything but vacation sex with her boss.

(It’s surprisingly difficult.)

They process the crime scene, gaining some new insight about the unsub, and before long they’re ready for a profile. Sophie opts to ride back to the station with Prentiss under the guise of letting Gideon and Hotch iron out the details, but really she needs to be as far away from him as possible while working the case, or she’s going to lose her mind.

The rest of the day is uneventful, spent poring over pages and pages of cold case files trying to link other murders to the one that occurred earlier that day. They identify at least 15, and when they literally can’t go on for a minute longer, Hotch calls it and they discuss where to go to grab some dinner.

Italian wins, and Sophie gets a big, beautiful bowl of pasta primavera and a glass of white wine, and it’s almost enough to make her forget all about the day until Hotch catches her eye from across the table, smiling at something Morgan said, and her stomach clenches. She smiles lightly, trying to hide it, but she’s not sure she was able to save face in time. She spends the rest of the meal arguing semantics with Reid, something so perfectly normal that it shouldn’t raise anyone’s suspicions.

She feels eyes on her anyway, but she doesn’t look in their direction.

[belovedbangtan]

Dive| Part 10 | jjk

<Masterlist>

Pairings: Jungkook x y/n, Yoongi x oc

Word Count: 4.6k

Series Description:  Camping with your ex, sounds horrible right? The camping trip was   planned and payed for long before y/n’s shitty boyfriend broke up with   her. Her best friend Abby, Yoongi, Taehyung, Jimin, and Jungkook are there to make sure she has an amazing time. However, sharing a tent with  a smoke show like Jungkook is bound to lead to some complications.

Warnings: language, *this chapter mentions mentally abusive actions* *Very clingy/Jungkook and oc*, mentions of sex. For real... seriously CLINGY. 

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They were attempting to be quiet but, their hushed tones were far from hushed. You’re awake now, eyes still closed as you process your current surroundings. You focus on the conversation that is seemingly between Jungkook, his cousin, and what you assume to be his aunt. She thanks him a countless amount of times and he tells her that it was no problem an equal amount of times. A hint of annoyance in his tone, but she clearly didn’t detect it at all. Then his cousin says something that you can barely make out, whispering being something she clearly comprehended; unlike her mother and Jungkook.

“We’re supposed to talk today, ill let you know what happens…” His voice veers off as if he suddenly became nervous.

“She cares about you Kook, I can tell. You care about her too, right?” she mumbles, no longer trying to whisper.

“A lot,” Is all you hear him respond with. His cousin giggles and tells him one final time not to stress and that everything will work out. She thanks him for the umpteenth time and they finally leave.

You wonder what time it is, laying there fully coherent but for some reason scared to open your eyes. After laying there for awhile and playing out every possible outcome, you decide to ‘wake up.’ Pulling yourself up into the sitting position, your pupils adjusting to the small amount of sunlight coming in from the windows.

“Good morning,” His voice is like honey, as he lifts his coffee cup to his lips. “Do you want some coffee?”

A soft smile and a nod have him gathering a cup and pouring the liquid gold into it. After telling him that you’ll take it black, he walks it over to where you are on the couch. You take it into your cold hands, sighing after taking a drink. Holy shit you were hungover.

You sit in silence long enough to wonder why it suddenly felt odd. You had so many things you wanted to say but couldn’t formulate the proper way to bring it up.

“Thanks for letting me stay the night,” you murmur, his large doe eyes peak up from his mug.

“Of course,” He answers, his face freezes when he realizes he doesn’t know what to say either. Or maybe, like you, how to say it.

Things go quiet again, you hear the birds chirping outside and the slow morning flow of traffic. You adjust yourself so that you’re facing him directly, your legs crisscrossed beneath you. His hair was fluffy, tame, but fluffy. The area around his eyes is slightly swollen and you wonder if he got any sleep last night. Mindlessly you set your mug down on the coffee table and you start moving across the couch to where he is. You still don’t know what or how to express what you need to but maybe you don’t need words. His eyes flick to yours, at first, he looks panicked then it quickly changed to relief. A smile pulling at his lips as he leans forward to set his mug next to yours. With his hands free, he sits back as you straddle his sweatpants clad lap. You take a deep breath, drinking in his morning beauty as his hands find their way underneath his shirt that clung to your body, resting on your hips just above the waist band.

When your eyes meet his, you forget why you worried at all. A wave of complacency rushing through your veins. With him you felt safe, with him you had no worries. Your fingers delicately push their way through his fluffy locks, letting your nails lightly scratch his scalp. His eyes close instinctively as he exhales deeply. As his head falls backward, your eyes are drawn to the center column of his throat. Fantasizing about how good it would look decorated in your love bites.

Before you can act on it, his words are pulling you from your heed.

“I’m really sorry that I made you upset last night, I should have told you what was going on so you didn’t worry,” his eyes meet yours and they’re filled with regret.

“Well I appreciate your apology, but I’m the one who should be apologizing. I guess I was just… confused, it hurt seeing you with someone else obviously.” you explain softly your fingers steadily raking through his hair.

He hums at your words, his fingers delicately brushing along your spine. Fire spreading from the tips of his fingers through your cold body. His brows shoot up, “I wish it wouldn’t have happened, but I learned something because it did,” his head tilts to the side as he drinks you in.

Staring into his whiskey colored orbs longer than you should have, “What did you learn?”

“I learned that… seeing you cry is something I never want to do again. I only want to make you happy, never sad,” He reaches up to cup your jaw, his eyes scanning over your face frantically.

Looking away from him, you feel your eyes start to well up. He inhales quickly before adjusting beneath you, “No… no, what did I say? I didn’t mean to ma…” he starts to panic, wondering what he said wrong.

“Remember when we were camping? And you told me I was the most beautiful thing you’d ever seen in your life,  and I started to cry?” You chuckle. He reaches up to wipe away your tear. His body visibly relaxes when you compare the situations.

“Mhm, and you told me that no one had every talked to you like that,” his voice is quiet. You have to swallow the lump in your throat when you realize he remembers that moment as clear as you do.

“Well it’s true, ya know? I don’t know if I’ve ever been properly…loved,” You start to explain, “At the same time, I don’t know if I’ve ever felt this way about anyone else. You make me feel like I’m crazy. There’s something about you that’s so intoxicating to me. I’ve never experienced having someone care about me the way you do or pay attention to me the way you do. It’s all so new to me, I’d be lying if I said that I’m not terrified.”

When you look up at him, he’s nervously chewing the side of his mouth. You laugh through your nose, leaning forward to press your lips to his. When you start to pull away his lips chase after yours. He kisses you a little more passionately this time as his hand wraps itself around the back of your neck pulling you down to him again. Breathlessly you pull apart, his hand still holding you close as your forehead rest on his.

“I’ve never been in this deep for someone, y/n. I’ve never cared about someone as much as I do you. I don’t know why. I can’t explain why I have these feelings for you but, I do. You make me so happy, and you bring a peacefulness that I’ve never felt before. I fucked up once, and I promise you that I will never do anything to hurt you ever again. Like I said… only want to make you happy.”

Your tears are mixing with his, and you can’t stop them from coming. You know that everything he’s telling you is true. You know that even though he hurt you, he didn’t mean to. You know that if you allow him too, he will love you with all of his heart for the rest of his life.

“I know we were going to talk about this tonight, but I can’t wait anymore, “His voice was shaking, almost as if he was unsure of the words that were about to be spoken. He sits up tall so that his face is mere inches from your own. He swallows hard, and his nerves start to rub off on you.

You raise your brows giving him a gentle smile as your fingers slide down to the back of his neck, silently telling him that he didn’t need to be nervous. He exhales loud in response.

His hands quivering as they rest on your sides, “I want to be with you. I want to be all yours, and I want you to be mine. I know what I want, and I don’t want you to be confused about anything anymore. Will you be my girlfriend, y/n?”

Your chest tightens with every confession that leaves his lips. The overwhelming feeling to scream or yell or cry. His eyes scanning your face for an answer, a hint, anything to ease his nerves.

Your voice is shot, so you nod aggressively. Tears shaking off of your face. Before you can get your full response out his lips are on yours fervent and passionate as his fingers lace in your hair on the back of your head to pull you closer to him.

He pulls back to take you in once again, “I’m sorry, I’m just having a hard time believing that you’re finally mine.”

You giggle as he pulls you in again kissing you slower this time, taking in the details to remember this specific moment and the exact way he feels. He wonders if he should tell you he loves you. He wants to, he wants to scream it from the roof top. He was honest about never being this deep. Part of him thought he may never know what it felt like to be in love. Up until you, it was short relationships that were always one sides and lacked something vital. Up until you, love didn’t exist. To him, you were love.

“So, does this mean…we can get breakfast instead of dinner? I’m literally starving to death,” Your stomach groans rip through the silent room. Jungkook instantly starts to die of laughter.

“Yes baby, I’ll make you some pancakes, sound good?” He shakes his head, giggling at your dramatic head nod.

Sitting across from him as you eat breakfast, reality set in. Everything felt surreal. Every fiber of your being was ready to dive into what ever was in store for you and Jungkook. As much as you convinced yourself that you were ready for the next step, there was no denying that you were terrified of giving your heart to him. Obviously, the sexual attraction was there, but you wondered if that was part of what was making everything so intense for you.

Jungkook was an anomaly to you in so many ways. He was caring, attentive, and insanely attractive. The most dangerous thing about him, however, was his ability to bring you to your knees; literally and figuratively. He was like a sex God that you couldn’t say ‘no’ to, because why would you? During your time away from him, you wondered how you would feel if you hadn’t allowed yourself to be with him sexually. The automatic intimacy was something about your relationship that made you miss it; made you miss him.

“What’s on your mind?” His voice is laced in innocence as he cocks his head to the side. Stacking your plate on top of his. You have to laugh at his innate ability to see through you. Another reason it was so hard to deny your chemistry.

“I guess, I was just thinking about us,” your bottom lip is instantly sucked into your teeth as you look away from him.

You hear him hum as he stands to put your plates in the sink, “Anything you want to share?” he asks. You can tell he’s somewhat anxious by the way he avoids you. His back turned away from you as he fidgets with the dirty dishes in the sink. You stand and wrap your arms around the back of him.

“Nothing bad, I don’t think at least… just maybe want to take things… slow.” You mumble into his back, feeling his quiet chuckles rumble against your cheek. He turns in your arms, brushing your hair behind your ears before cupping each side of your head.

“I’m listening,” He smiles.

You take a deep breath as you explain how you feel. Ultimately ending by telling him that you want to wait awhile before the two of you do anything sexually.

“It’s not like I don’t want to, I just think it’s smart if we maybe slow things down a bit. The way we should have at the start. I like you a lot Jungkook, and I want to be confident that we exist outside of our sexual attraction…” you ramble, his attention on you never faltering. “Do you hate me now?”

His eyes scrunch together, appalled that you would ever assume that he could hate you.

“I could never hate you,” He presses his lips to your cold nose, “What I feel for you is way more than sex. But I get that I need to prove that to you, and I will. I think that if that if it’s something you need from me than I will go as slow as you need me to.”

“You promise you’re not mad? Or upset?” you ask him quietly, swallowing hard. He lightly grips your chin, pulling your face up so that you’re looking at him.

“Baby… why do you think I would be mad?” He asks, his voice is soft and concerned.

“I-I don’t know,” your chest starts to tighten, and tears start to build up in the corners of your eyes, “Ben would get mad if I didn’t want to. He always made me feel guilty because I made him wait three months before we had sex. He said he didn’t mind at first, but he did.”

Jungkook wraps his arms around your shoulders pulling your in close. His face red with fury. If he thought he had reasons to hate Ben before, now he had motive for murder. He lifts you up, setting you on the counter so he can stand eye to eye with you.

“Look at me baby,” he demands softly, “I would never make you feel guilty for not wanting to have sex with me. You are so much more than your body and I need you to know that. We can take things as slow as we need to take them. I want you to trust me completely, I will never hurt you.” He pleads, begging for you to believe that he was someone different.

Tears building in his own eyes now, guilt of his own words and actions weighing even heavier. He knew that he hurt you when you overheard his conversation with Ben, but it was so much more than that. You let your walls down for him, and he completely let you down. He pulls you into him tighter this time. Understanding how vital it is for him to love you properly. To show you how incredibly special you are to him.

Your conversation ended there. You both moved to the couch, deciding to watch a movie while you cuddled with one another; not quite yet ready to let one another go.

“Abby is going to lose it when she finds out we’re actually together.” You murmur into his chest with a giggle. You feel his chest shake when he starts to laugh quietly.

“Yeah Jimin and Tae have been making bets on if and when it would happen.”

“Assholes,” You shake your head, rolling your eyes at their immaturity. At the same time you cant blame them for finding a way to make your roller coaster of emotions somewhat entertaining for them.

“Are you going to Jimin’s movie night tomorrow?”

“Yeah, should we tell them then?” you ask

“Maybe… or maybe we should have some fun with it?” He grins down at you.

“I’m listening…” You tilt your head on his chest to look up at him.

“Well if Jimin and Tae are betting on us, you know Abby is playing along too. So, what if we tricked them. When we show up tomorrow, we not only act like were not dating… but as if we have no feelings at all. They’ll be so confused.” He giggles.

“When do we tell them?” you bite your lip, weighing out the scenario in your head. You know they’ll be pissed but that’s what makes it intriguing.

“Mmm… I guess when we leave? Unless they catch on before that.” He shrugs, looking down at you.

“They’re gonna be pissed,” You giggle raising your brows.

“I know,” He laughs, clearly that’s the point for him.

“Alright lets do it.”

Movie night comes faster than expected. You almost fucked up the plan by  wearing Jungkook’s sweater over your leggings. Last minute you had to run inside and switch it out for one of your own. You and Jungkook ride together, deciding that you’ll go inside a few minutes before him. You’ll tell everyone that you took an Uber if they ask.

“Remember, pretend I don’t exist.” Jungkook reminds you, as he pulls into the parking spot. You glance over at him, nodding your head. His sharp jawline on full display as he chews at his bottom lip. His tattooed arm flexing as he adjusts his grip on the steering wheel. He reaches down and puts his car into park. As soon as he does you instantly reach across turning his head to look at you.

“You say that like it’s going to be easy…” You mumble as you drink in his facial features, the mole just under his lip begging to be kissed. His lips start to pull into a smirk. Without thinking you push yourself out of your seat and over to his lap. Straddling him with one leg on either side of his. His eyes follow your every movement, his breath hitching when you finally make yourself comfortable. His hands naturally reaching behind you to cup your ass over the thick material of your leggings.

Finally facing the truth, you will never get used to the way he looks you. His dark caramel colored eyes reminding you of Whiskey in more ways than one. The way they warm your entire body from head to toe, or the way that they make you want to risk it all; never thinking about the consequences. Completely and utterly intoxicating.

You lean in kissing his cheek with a feather light touch, his eyes never leaving you. With your fingers just below his jaw, your lips dance along his cheek, closer and closer to his plump lips. Both of you letting out a sigh of relief when you finally reach them. Your lips fitting together as if they were made for each other. His tattooed hand suddenly comes up to your neck pulling you desperately closer. His tongue teasing your bottom lip just before he decides to let it slide inside. Your tongues tangle together for what feels like a century, until he pulls away, trapping your bottom lip in between his teeth as he does.

“Fuck, I don’t know if I can do this,” He giggles as he tries to regulate his breathing. You giggle as you leave a trail of kisses down the side of his neck. You know it’s not helping the situation but if you’re not allowed to talk to him or look at him for the next 3 hours you needed to get in what you could now. With one final, long, kiss to his lips you open his car door to let yourself out.

“It’ll be worth it,” You giggle, realizing his hand was still holding onto yours. You look at his lap realizing that you caused quite the situation. You wince, biting your lip as you look at him with sorry eyes. “Ill go inside and let you figure that out,” You giggle as you start to walk away.

“I thought you were supposed to be sweet?!” He yells out sarcastically, only making you laugh harder.

It was harder than you thought it would be. Not because you desperately wanted to snuggle up to Jungkook on the couch, but because between Tae, Jimin, and Abby; you couldn’t catch a break. The second you were in the door they were on you like bats out of hell. Asking you every question under the moon about you and Jungkook and your impending status. You immediately excused yourself to the restroom, claiming you had to pee the entire way here. Once you were away you texted Jungkook telling him to come inside so they would stop hounding you. You knew they wouldn’t talk about it if you were in the same room.

Conveniently, Jungkook walked into the apartment as soon as you walked back into the kitchen. You smiled at him, then quickly excused yourself to the living room to sit and wait for the movie to start. Jungkook follows your lead, sitting directly across the room from you. His eyes meet yours for a brief second, and you wish you had the ability to read his mind. The not so quiet whispers from the kitchen catch your attention. You have to giggle a bit at how overdramatic they were being. No doubt, they were confused. If it weren’t for Yoongi yelling out for them to join everyone in the living room, they probably would have stayed in the kitchen trying to figure out what was happening.

They all file into the room, their eyes casually flicking from you to Jungkook. Abby cuddles up to Yoongi, her eyes tight on you. You avoid her at all cost, knowing she would try to communicate through her eyes. Jimin sits with Jungkook and Tae plops down next to you. His innocent smile playing on his lips as he turns his head and looks you up and down.

“You doin okay?” His brow lifts as he asks you.

“Uhm… yeah?” You giggle, scrunching your brows as you adjust the cover that lays over your body, “Are you?” you smile.

He looks over at Jungkook, who is seemingly immersed in whatever is on his phone screen.

“Im… good.” He answers, his brain still trying to put the pieces together. Jimin is talking to Jungkook but it doesn’t look like he’s getting the answers he wants. As Yoongi presses play on the movie, all of the questions come to a halt. You can still feel Abby’s eyes burning into your head. Midway through the movie you can tell they’re all texting one another, each of their phones going off at the same time.

Your phone goes off a few minutes later…

Kookie:

He keeps asking me and I keep shrugging my shoulders. He’s losing it… this is so funny.

Wait awhile to respond, they’re watching.

Controlling your reaction on your face was harder than you thought it would be. You calmly set your phone down, resting your head on the couch. A few minutes later you decide to go to the restroom, pulling your phone out to text Jungkook back.

Y/n:

Yeah they’re for sure losing their minds.

… this is kinda hard.

*send*

You glance at yourself in the mirror, fidgeting with your appearance. A risque thought comes to your mind. You know you shouldn’t but, at the same time, you can’t think of a reason not to. You quickly take your hoodie off of your body and slide your leggings down your legs. Adjusting the waistband of your panties, then adjusting your girls in your bra. You sit on the edge of the bathroom counter, making your ass look fuller than it actually is. After playing with angles, you decide to take your bra off since he can see your tits from this angle anyway. After a few tries you finally capture the perfect picture.

Plopping down on to the couch, you wait a few minutes until you see Jungkook take his phone out of his pocket. Hiding your phone, you quickly press send, and adjust yourself so you can see his reaction. His eyes suddenly widen as he rearranges himself on the couch. His eyes flick up to yours, making your chest burn with a simple look. His pupils are blown out as he gnaws on the corner of his mouth anxiously. He pulls a pillow over his lap and waits a few more minutes before responding.

Kookie:

Baby doll, this was not a part of the plan.

I cant stop mentally undressing you now.

 As you read the message, the corners of your mouth lift into a cocky smirk. The pillow over his crotch tells you everything you need to know. As the movie comes to an end, everyone starts to talk about their weekend plans. Jungkook is quiet as his eyes are locked on you. His leg bouncing beneath him, as he leans on his elbow. You pick up your phone trying to decide on the words to say. As your fingers ghost over the screen, you can’t seem formulate what you want to say to him. You slowly look up and when you make eye contact with him, your mind is made up.

You slide your phone into your hoodie pocket, as you slowly push yourself off of the couch. Jimin going on about weekend plans in the background, but you and Jungkook are in a world of your own. As you walk across the room, you don’t notice when the room goes silent. Jungkook instantly perks up when he realizes what’s happening. Straightening his posture, he moves the pillow on his lap, and you take its place. Straddling him as if no one is in the room. Leaning into him, you gently slide your fingers through the hair at the base of his neck pulling his face up to yours.

Both of your smiles disappear when his lips hit yours, pressing into you for longer than he should have. When you finally pull away your rest your forehead against his.

“Hi,” you whisper.

“Hi.” He smiles.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING!” Abby and Jimin scream nearly in sync with one another. You and Jungkook both start to die of laughter, as you adjust yourself to sit in his lap facing the others.

Taehyung, Jimin and Abby staring at you like you have three heads.

“Are you… are you together? Officially?” Abby throws Yoongi’s arm off of her so that she can stand up.

You look at Jungkook, and you both nod.

“Finally! For fucks sake. It took you long enough.” Yoongi groans out of nowhere, expressing the thoughts that were on everyone mind. The whole room erupts into laughter, and snide comments about how cruel we were to trick everyone. Abby and Jimin expressing their annoyance with not being called immediately.

“We just thought it would be funny. We know you guys have been placing bets on when it would happen, “Jungkook says as his arms tighten around your waist, pulling you in closer to him as he buries his nose in the crook of your neck.

An overwhelming feeling of contentment washes over you. Jungkook’s lips lightly brushing against your shoulder as if he needed to make up for the time that he wasn’t able to. His fingers laced with yours as his thumb brushes the back of your hand. It felt so natural. Even everyone around you had seemed to move on, clearly it felt right to them too.

His lips trail from your shoulder up to your ear, moving your hair out of the way, “No one will ever wonder if we’re together anymore. From now on, everyone will know that you’re mine and I’m yours.”  

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Taglist:

@cainami @carolsummerlove @zeharilisharaban @jikooksgirl19 @fallen-for-luke @madygswich @sugalarity @lofikoo​ @ggukkieeee @peachy-bhun @megs58298 @kawaiiayasan @ jeonchan26  @ambersaesthetics​ @hopekookies​ @rumpucis @iaintnohollybackgirl

A/N: THANK YOU for your patience on this chapter. There will be one more chapter (maybe two) after this one! I got a new job and life has been hectic. Please let me know what you think! (let all of your favorite writers know how much you love their work! We appreciate it more than you know!)

[bisexual-horror-fan]

Stu Macher Sugar Daddy AU Headcannons.

So back when I did Kinky December, to close out that super fun event, I wrote this, fun little peice, an AU story about an older Stu Macher being your sugar daddy and it was on my mind and figured fuck it, why not do a personal headcannon post for this AU? If you like this and got any additions or ideas, have it, shoot me an ask or something! I like to think in this AU Stu has some big job he got via family connections in the financial district in New York and also while he and Billy have some certain tastes, they never indulged fully but that is part of where you come in! So let's get into it under the cut.

This is a sex worker positive space and sex work is valid work, if you don't think so, move on.

Rating: NSFW. Length: 1.5K. Warnings: Daddy Kink. General Poly!Ghostface Fuckery.

-Stu and you start this with the explicit implication of what your relationship was meant to be. He found you through the site you advertise yourself through for sugaring. The usual protocol followed after that. A date to determine how compatible you both were and you were both kind of surprised by how well you got along on that first date.

-You both obviously wanted to see each other again and so after discussing the usual things, expectations, wants, needs, allowance, and so the arrangement began officially.

-Neither of you expected how quickly it would escalate or how well you would truly get along. You and Stu got on like a house on fire. Conversation was lively and frequent, he was true to his word and gave even more than initially promised. Money was seemingly no object, he would pick up the tab without question, and would surprise you frequently.

-You dropped your other regular dates shortly after that. He didn’t ask you to but it was something you wanted to do, simply wanted to spend as much time as possible with him and be available whenever he needed and money wasn’t an issue at all anymore.

-It wasn’t just a business relationship anymore, developed into more than that and you couldn’t be happier about it.

-Yes you do call him Daddy, but not explicitly in public a lot of the time, something he asks, but it makes the times he TELLS you to call him it in public that much hotter. He calls you tons of pet names and you love it.

-He takes the title seriously. He actually CARES for you. It is about a hell of a lot more than just the sexual angle.

-You would stay over at Stu’s constantly, loved his place and he loved to have you around. He still insisted that you have your own place, paid for by him of course, he would even come by on occasion but much preferred to go out or have you over at his place. He liked you having your own space in case you ever needed it and didn’t want to intrude on YOUR space, even tho it was intruding at all.

-He loves to bring you to work events and show you off. Not just how you look and how well you are dressed and the finery he buys for you to trot you out in but also with the intelligent and insightful things you have to say and contribute. He also may or may not have given you pointers on shit pertaining to the business he was in prior to the event to make you look even better than you already were. You had done the going to work functions thing in your line of work a lot and were no slouch and it was something else that made this set up all the better.

-What is your poison because my God Stu is gonna be giving you it so much. You a fan of high end coffee? Yup you can count on him bringing you one or asking you out for coffee, dropping one off or sending someone over with one or hell getting an expensive and personal machine installed in your kitchen. You like getting your nails done? Well fuck how much babe, let him flash some cash and let you go get the most crazy nails your heart desires. You a foodie or a total lush? Lucky you! He loved going out to eat and for drinks. Or do you have a total shoe fetish? You getting any and all pairs of shoes you have ever even remotely laid your eyes on with even mildly passing interest. Clothes too duh, he loves to dress you up.

-So what interests you? Because Stu is interested in it now as well. He could listen to you go on about what was important to you for literal hours and you better believe he uses every little bit of info to better spoil you! While he loved to get you the more obvious things, food, clothes, money, basic luxuries you better believe he would get you items especially tailored to your hobbies and likes.

-Any place you ever wanted to travel too? Oh what a wild coincidence! All of a sudden a beautifully planned and paid for trip that Stu just HAPPENS to have tickets as well as his scheduled opening up all MAGICALLY coincides and you have the best time.

-The sex is insane. I mean duh, of fucking course, that happened early and often and was a big factor in determining your compatibility. He loved to spoil you in that way too, lingerie and toys and lavishing you with attention. My God he sure liked to use that mouth of his for more than just talking.

-He loves semi-public stuff. Loves pushing boundaries too. He adores going out for dinner with you looking just so dressed up and gorgeous and not being able to wait to get back to his place and fucking you in the back of the towncar on the way home.

-Having you suck him off under his desk at work on a lunch break.

-Having you ON that desk after hours.

-Fucking you on literally every surface of his apartment.

-So it doesn’t stay just Stu, you know that right? Once he is sure that you are an amazing fit he introduces you to Billy. Tells you that they have been friends for-fucking-ever and that you both liking eachother was important to him.

-You get along great with him too. You loved to see how they were together, he brought out this side in Stu that was so fun, not like he wasn’t fun usually but it was just kinda different, more playful you could say.

-You realize that you are introduced to Billy for more than just friendship.

-You are not opposed to this at all. You ask if they have done this before and the answer is yes. Sharing partners? Yep. Just them being together? Yes. Swapping? Naturally. Billy was hot and fun and treated you well too and again, the sex was fuckin’ good.

-So when the three of you were fully into the swing of this arrangement it was really fucking good. Plus you were literally never lonely. Some dates were just Stu and some were both and if Stu ever had to go out of town for some reason and you couldn’t come, well then Billy got you all to himself.

-He would insist that you stay at his place during those times to- “Properly keep an eye on you.” and you did not complain. Nights in with take-out that ended with you both on the couch or the mornings you’d share a shower before he had work or coming to his office all dressed up with lunch to impress his co-workers and maybe give him some head under his desk just like you do for Stu, all amazing.

His place was nice and you loved getting to have some time with just him, it was a great change of pace and Stu would love to come back to see you two being even closer.

-Stu coming back was so good too because of how he treated you when he missed you, a big date was a must after he was away and the way he fucked you after was specatular. The way he would whisper to you, asking about what you did this week and wanting to be filled in on all the dirty details of what you did with his best friend while he was away. You were all too happy to fill him in.

-Billy and Stu have some particular tastes. They suggest a weekend away, they have a game they want to play with you and you tentatively agree. You trust them both with your life and when you worded it that way the look they shared with a smirk should have been telling.

-A big rented beach house, a phone call, a “break in”, ropes and knives and costumes and more and oh my fucking God you got it. You understood it and were hooked and when it was all said and done and the ropes were being untied and you were still coming down with stars in your eyes and them praising the literal fuck out of you that they let it slip how often they had fantasized about this. That part of why they picked you, because Billy had been a bit more involved in the process of selecting you than you were initially made aware of, was how good they thought you would look being fucked by knifepoint.

-By what a-"pretty little victim you’d make” and well you knew you would be doing this again sometime. And it becomes a semi-regular occurrence in your sex lives.

-You spoil Stu in all kinds of ways. You surprise him with meals he loves, surprise visits when he is working, dropping in with the sweetest gifts, you try to remember all the little things he likes and love to listen to him. He knows he is in deep when you are traveling somewhere together the next day, a vacation, he works that day, comes back to his apartment to find you packed for him. You paid such close attention to detail and he felt so seen and appreciated.

-You do all the little things. Making breakfast the way he likes when you stay over, keeping in mind which clothes and lingerie he likes on you best, making notes when he particularly likes something you do or a color you wear.

-You still have your own life outside of your relationship. Friends and freedom, independence and it is all fucking great.

[truecrimeweekly]

Edmund “The Co-Ed Killer” Kemper

Welcome to the bonus post! As I said in my last update, I chose who to write about next by using a number generator and when this guy came up, I was too excited to wait so you guys get two posts in one day.  Also, I realized that I forgot my trigger warning in my last post so if you read it and it triggered you, I am SO sorry. I’ll do my best to make sure it doesn’t happen again. Alright, so if you’ve watched Mindhunter on Netflix, you definitely know who this guy is. If not, go watch it because it’s a great show.

TRIGGER WARNING: Mentions of abuse, murder, animal abuse and necrophilia

Edmund Kemper, born Edmund Emil Kemper III, and better known as The Co-Ed Killer was born on December 18, 1948 in Burbank, California. He was the middle child and only boy of Edmund Jr. and Clarnell Kemper’s three children. Kemper was very close to his father so when his parents divorced and his mother moved him and his two sisters to Helena, Montana, he was devastated. Kemper did not get along with his mother. She was emotionally abusive and even locked him in the basement because she was afraid he would rape his younger sister. If that wasn’t enough for her to consider getting him help, he showed sociopathic signs at a young age. As a child he was a pyromaniac and enjoyed killing cats. He also used to enact murders and bizarre sexual rituals with his sisters dolls and would make a game out of pretending to be executed by the electric chair to fulfill his fantasy.

When Kemper was thirteen, he ran away and made it all the way to his father in California only to realize he had remarried and had put all his affection to his step son. He was sent back to his mother in Montana. When he turned fourteen, his mother sent him to live with his paternal grandparents, Edmund Sr. and Maude Kemper, in North Fork, California. Kemper did not get along with his grandmother and despite measuring an intimidating height of 6’4, he was bullied a lot by other kids. On August 27, 1964 Kemper shot and killed his grandmother in her kitchen with a rifle he had gotten for Christmas. Some sources say that he shot her after an argument and others say she was just working on her next children’s book when he shot her just to see what it felt like. His grandfather returned after a trip to the grocery store shortly after. He shot him in the driveway to spare him the sight of his dead wife. Afterwards, he made a phone call to his mother to tell her what he had done, then a second call to the police to do the same. He then sat on the porch steps and waited for the police to arrive. After his arrest, he was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia and admitted into Atascadero State Hospital for the Criminally Insane. During his stay, he surprisingly got along so well with his psychiatrist that he made Kemper his assistant. On his twenty-first birthday, Kemper was released back to his mother in Santa Cruz, California against the wishes of several psychiatrists. 

After his release, Kemper worked several different odd jobs before finally being hired by the State of California’s Department of Public Works as a laborer. He befriended quite a few friends at Santa Cruz PD and even wanted to become a cop himself. That dream quickly set sail after he learned his monstrous height of 6’9 was above regulation height. Eventually, Kemper was able to save enough money to move into an apartment with a roommate and after receiving a $15,000 settlement after a motorbike accident he was able to buy a truck. It seemed like he was truly safe to be a part of society now. Unfortunately, along with his truck, he also bought murder supplies such as a knife, plastic bags, and hand cuffs. Once he was fully prepared, he began searching the Pacific cost for female hitchhikers. On May 7, 1972, Kemper picked up two female Fresno State students in Berkley, California. He had promised to give them a ride to Stanford University but instead stabbed them to death. Over the next nine months, he would commit four other murders, usually after an argument with his mother. 

On April 19, 1973, Kemper had finally had enough and bludgeoned his mother to death in her sleep then spent the next several hours mutilating her body. He cut off her head and used it for oral sex. Then, he threw darts at it. Afterwards, he stuffed her vocal cords down the garbage disposal. Kemper wasn’t satisfied though, so he invited one of her friends over and killed her when she arrived. After his mini-spree, he took off in his truck listening to the radio for any reports about what he had just done. After four days of hearing nothing, he stopped at a phone booth in Pueblo, Colorado and called his friends at Santa Cruz PD. He confessed to all eight murders and at first, his friends thought it was a joke, but after a few phone calls, they realized he was telling the truth. Kemper went back to his truck and again, awaited his arrest.

At his trial, Kemper attempted to plea insanity but failed, so he requested the death penalty and an execution by electric chair, like he had always fantasized about. At the time, California had temporarily suspended capital punishment so instead he was sentenced to life in prison. While in prison, he was one of the first inmates to be interviewed by the Behavioral Science Unit. One interviewer, who had interviewed three times, found himself locked in a small room with Kemper as he began to threaten his life. The guards didn’t believe his screams for him and when they finally showed up, Kemper claimed he was kidding. Another interviewer admitted he actually liked Kemper. Kemper is now still serving his sentence at California Medical Facility in Vacaville.

[headcanonsandmore]

Why Ron Doubted Harry in GoF

All over tumblr, I see people criticizing Ron for doubting Harry about how his name got in the Goblet of Fire when his doubt is completely normal and healthy. His doubt by itself was not fueled by jealousy or betrayal; it was fueled by common sense.

I think the best way to understand this to put yourself in Ron’s perspective. This is a bit hard to imagine in the actual situation since we can’t relate to the Goblet of Fire or a magical tournament directly, so I’m going to use a comparably more relatable metaphor below for what happened:

Imagine you and your best friend are perusing a car shop, basically fangirling about all the expensive cars that are on display. In the center of the lot is the most expensive car, and it looks like the coolest thing ever with heated and comfortable seats, built-in GPS, insane horsepower, self-driving features, etc. In other words, your dream car, a car you can only fantasize on driving.

It costs way more than a million dollars (an amount you will probably never earn in your lifetime), so the only way your fantasies of driving the car can exist is if you stole the car. Naturally, this leads to you and your best friend talking about how to steal the car so that your fantasies can come true. Your best friend comes up with this detailed, brilliant idea on how to steal the car at night with no evidence left behind. It’s so ingenious, but of course you both don’t do anything since you both are just kidding around. Or so you thought.

The next morning, the car you and your best friend was ogling at the day before is suddenly missing from the shop, and lo and behold, it’s found in the driveway of your best friend’s house. There is no evidence left behind (like in your best friend’s plan), just your best friend saying they didn’t steal the car to the authorities.

In this scenario, it would be extremely stupid not to doubt your best friend’s words, especially since you know that your best friend is a troublemaker who would say they didn’t steal the car to the authorities whether they were lying or telling the truth. The best thing to do is to get your best friend alone, make sure they know that they can trust you, and ask them for the truth since you would understand the situation better than everyone else (as their best friend).

You show your friend the benefit of doubt by not jumping to conclusions, not blindly accepting that your friend is wrong or right. You want to eliminate all of the possible ways that your friend could have stolen the car and make sure that your friend is telling the truth before giving your full support of them. It’s not that you don’t believe them; it’s that you have to eliminate the obvious other solutions before fully accepting the real one which is both natural and reasonable.

From this point-of-view, Ron’s doubt and questioning is extremely reasonable and alright. Ron does not believe Harry is lying; it’s just that he’s also not confident that Harry is telling the truth (basically in a middle ground). Could Ron have worded his doubts in a different, less accusatory matter? Absolutely. But regardless, he is NOT at fault for questioning Harry.

In fact, in this argument (in their dorm room), Harry is mostly at fault. Harry is the one that is assuming that Ron’s words are implying that Ron believes that Harry is a liar. Harry is the one that gets angry first even when Ron is stating his concerns fairly calmly. Harry is the one that calls Ron stupid. Though this is extremely understandable since Harry’s had to deal with everyone outright telling him that he is a liar, including Dumbledore. Harry was forced into a party for 30 minutes where everyone wasn’t listening to a word he said. The fight between Harry and Ron is not because of Ron’s doubts but because of Harry’s understandable impatience. (Let the poor boy sleep before you start Ronald!)

Does this mean that the entire fight is Harry’s fault? Absolutely not.

While fairly doubting Harry (without insulting him, mind you) is not Ron’s fault and only natural, making a couple of snide comments about Harry wanting fame and icing him out afterwards was completely Ron’s fault. The narrative clearly states how Harry was ready to talk to Ron the morning after (I wonder why; maybe it has to do with actually getting some sleep and recovering his patience.), but Ron isn’t there. Ron purposely avoids Harry, preventing the necessary conversation from happening, until Harry becomes too stubborn and angry at Ron to talk to him back.

Again, Ron’s actions are somewhat justifiable (at least for a 14 year old boy), given his insecurities, feeling that Harry betrayed him, and possibly slight jealously. Ron is not privy to Harry’s thoughts like we are, so in Ron’s point-of-view, Harry is enjoying his newfound fame. Harry spent 30 minutes at a party celebrating becoming a Triwizard Tournament champion after he nonverbally agreed to talk to Ron. Plus, Harry’s explanation for why someone put his name in the Goblet of Fire is “I dunno”, the weakest defense and worst lie ever (“to kill me” is not too melodramatic for Harry someone-tries-to-kill-me-once-a-year Potter!). Harry calling Ron stupid for having legitimate doubts is the last straw for him, and he retaliates like any 14 year old boy would- insulting Harry and stopping talking to him to avoid getting hurt again.

The entire argument is based on bad timing and stubbornness on both Harry’s and Ron’s parts. Ron questions Harry (which again is not a sin) way too early for Harry, right after the party. And then Harry wants to actually explain himself better way too late for Ron, the morning after. When Ron finally gets over his feelings and insecurities after Harry’s call for Sirius, it is way too late for Harry who spent the last weeks convincing himself that he hated Ron. (It didn’t help that Hermione unknowingly rubbed salt to the wound by spouting her mostly wrong I-read-a-psych-textbook-once insight to Harry.) It isn’t until after the First Task that Harry is ready to accept Ron’s well-deserved apology and they finally reconcile.

Note: I’m mentioning this just because many people trying to absolve Harry from all blame and responsibility forget this happened (maybe because of the movies), but Harry was completely wrong in throwing a badge at Ron to give him a scar and mock him for his supposed jealousy (Thanks Hermione!). It is never okay to physically hurt a friend, especially with the intention of permanently scarring them. I know Harry was mad, but Ron was obviously trying to reconcile and confused with Harry’s anger (since he didn’t hear Hermione’s spiel). Harry’s the one that elongates the fight after that moment, something that many people choose to forget since apparently, both people (especially the protagonist) can’t be wrong in a fight.

TL;DR: In Ron and Harry’s fight in GoF, Ron is not at fault for doubting Harry. He is at fault for icing Harry afterwards. Also, Harry is not blameless in this fight like some people choose to believe.

~~~~~

[new-tella-us]

Another Komahina Oneshot! (Fem Version)

Okay, I know, I should do other ships and I will but, as I'm trying to get used to doing oneshots, I wanna start with something easy to write. I promise I'll do other ships later. Anyways! Warnings! • I forgot to write a "this is gay" warning last time for the people that don't like that but, it really needs to be stressed here. This is really gay. It's not sex gay, but it's gay. • This used genderbent Hajime and Nagito. I know most people aren't disturbed unless only one is genderbent but, if you are disturbed, you should probably move on • This is slightly nsfw. Again not sex but... Anyways, onto the Oneshot.

We finally found out what 'It' is.

How did I find myself in this situation? Oh right! It's because my curious ass had to try and hang out with Nagiko. While formalities are not my thing. I might as well introduce myself and my current state of affairs. My name is Haruka Hinata. I'm an average girl that just so happens to be caught up in an odd school field trip. Like, stuffed bunny beats up a stuffed bear and makes us work and craft things kind of odd. Of all the people here the oddest, by far, is this one girl named Nagiko Komaeda. She seems just a bit shy but, I feel like there's something odd about her. Something a little darker? I got curious and started to hangout with her. She isn't mean or rude, just weirdly disturbing. She talks endlessly about hope and despair, barely making any sense. But, she's passionate on her topic. Once she started, she rarely ever gave you a chance to speak. She's also quite a pessimist, looking down on herself a lot. Even when she talks about hope, if she realizes how long she's been talking, she'll go on an apology fest. I honestly feel bad for her. To have such low self esteem must make your life kinda dull. As time went on, I learned a lot about Nagiko. From her likes(Beauty) and dislikes(Noise) to the way her luck works and how it's often like a swinging pendulum. "Always swinging from one end to the other. Good then Bad then back to Good" as she said. She even trusted me enough to tell me about her parents death via meteor and plane crash. I'm still unsure about the sickness part but, I felt like there was some truth to her words. Why else would I get this weird feeling around her? I truly knew everything about her and I got all of her Hope fragments...and yet...I still wanted more. Would you like to access the Love Event? >Yes No That day, which just so happens to be today, I went to Nagito's cottage to see if she was in there. She didn't come for breakfast and I was a little worried. I knocked on the door and Nagiko opened. "Hey Komaeda," Yes, we did still call each other by our last names. "Are you okay in there? You didn't come to breakfast." Nagiko frowned "I know, I just wasn't hungry and I didn't want to disturb you Ultimates. I already feel bad about taking up so much of your free time."

Not this again... "Komaeda, you know I'm fine with that, right? I choose to hang out with you, if I didn't want to, I wouldn't bother."

"Hinata-Chan, you're so nice but-"

"No 'buts' are necessary. You just end it at that. Come on, you need to eat," I said. I hope I didn't sound too annoyed.

"...Alright." So we headed to the cafeteria but, by that point, no one was there. Teratera did leave some food for Nagiko though. How nice. So, for the next thirty minutes or so, I was just watching Nagiko eat. Needless to say, things got awkward fast. "So...uh...wanna go back to my cottage after this?" I asked, trying to break the unbearable silence.

"And do what exactly? Not that I have any problem with going with you! I'm just lucky you would want to hangout with me!"

"Uh..." and it's awkward again. "Maybe, play some board games? You probably will win since you're lucky but, it could be fun,"

"Hmm...that does sound like fun," she says as she shovels the last bit of food in her mouth. "and this would give you the opportunity to show me around your place,"

"Yeah..." Nagiko gets up and takes my hand. "So what are we waiting for? Let's go!" She seemed oddly excited. She so odd, I may never fully understand her. We walked to my cottage, which wasn't far, and I opened the door. "Welcome to my humble abode" All of our cottages are furnished based off our personalities, talents, and experiences. Thus, a seemingly average girl with slight memory loss would have a relatively empty space. There were board games and some basic miscellaneous things. Nothing too special. After walking around a bit, Nagiko's eyes were fixated on a specific thing I had. A pin from one of places I worked. "What is this?" She asked.

"Oh, that's nothing. Just a small award from one of my old summer job. I was a temporary masseuse."

"Huh, an award? That usually means you're good at it. So could this be your Ultimate talent?"

"I feel like if I remembered working there and remember the reward, I would surely remember being the Ultimate Masseuse."

"Fair enough, but, this award does mean you're good at this, right?"

"Uh, I guess?" I didn't like where this was going...

"Then, can you try that on me?"

...Was this chick serious? I felt my cheek warm up with that question.

"Hinata-Chan?? What's wrong? Are you okay?"

"Uh... You do realize that in order for me to do that properly, you would have to...take off the top half of your clothes, right? Like, bra and all."

Silence...

Then Nagiko's cheeks flushed a bright red.

"Uhhh! I didn't know that! How and why would your employer let an underaged kid do that??? Now thinking on it, couldn't that go really badly???"

I replied, "It wasn't the best of neighborhoods and besides, neither I nor any other female employees were paired with men so, that lessened the risk."

Nagiko seemed speechless so, stupid me butted in with a stupid question to change the subject.

"SO! Are you still gunna do the massage or what?" Stupid question...

"...Are you sure you're comfortable with that?" She asked, her blush becoming more visible.

I committed to my stupid question. "Y-yeah, it's no problem."

Nagiko said nothing and for a few awkward seconds did nothing but, after seemingly collecting her thoughts, she started taking off her hoodie. With that, it hit me hard that she was serious about this. I, instinctively, turned away and walked to the drawer where that pin was. Why was I so nervous? I've done this before. I've done this many times. But I couldn't keep this blush off my face; I couldn't help but briefly fantasize...

"Okay, when you're ready, just lay down on the bed. On your stomach," I had to get professional. She's a client now.

"Okay."

I trusted this drawer had something I needed. I opened it and it had almond oil. Perfect. After briefly washing my hands, I grabbed the oil and looked over to the bed. She was laying on it topless, as expected but, it still made me feel weird.

I walked over to the bed and got on top of her, making sure not to sit on her; unless they specify, you never sit on the client.

"Okay, I'm going to do a simple Swedish massage. Since this is your first time, it's best to start simple," Swedish massages are perfect for first timers. I grabbed the oil and put it on my hands.

"You ready?" I asked. I wasn't...

"Yeah..." She didn't sound too confident.

I didn't want to hurt her so I started off soft, barely any pressure. Kneading long strokes on her back in the direction of the heart, as I usually do. I do this repeatedly for about five minutes, then, I switch to circular motions. Slowly, I add more pressure. For about fifteen minutes, we continue this in silent. It didn't feel awkward though. It just felt...odd, warm. After those fifteen minutes I started trying to make conversation again.

"I'm not hurting you, right?"

"No, you aren't. I can tell you're trying your hardest to be soft. I'm glad you did that; that was one of my worries."

"That I would hurt you?"

"That you would leave a bruise more accurately."

That comment made me realize how smooth and silky and pale her skin is. I really didn't want to damage it. Ruin such a perfect canvas...

"I won't bruise you. I promise."

It's at this point that we fell back into the consuming silence. My mind started to wander, to fantasize. I didn't bother trying to stop it. As long as I keep up the motions, the kneading, the stroking, the vibrations and tapping, I didn't care to stop the less than appropriate thoughts that circled my head at the moment.

"Haruka?"

Did she...? Y'know what? It doesn't matter.

"Yes, Nagiko?"

"...You're really good at this," She seemed relaxed.

"Thank you, Nagiko."

"How long do these usually last?"

"About an hour to an hour and a half but... you're a special client. It can last however long you want it to." WHY DID I SAY THAT?!?! Goddamn it Haruka, you are an idiot!

"Oh my, I'm flattered. Well if that's true, then I might keep you a little longer than your regulars."

My face heated up a lot. I could tell that it was probably red.

Though, our appointment was cut short by a long BANG! The door was slammed open and in walked Akane and Nekamara.

"There you guys a-" Akane immediately fell silent after he realized what we were doing. "Wait, you guys do 'it' too?" he asked, apparently, completely oblivious to the face that he was looking at a topless girl. I quickly covered Nagiko in a sheet. A part of my mind acknowledged that 'it' was massaging but, that wasn't important.

"I think we should leave, Akane. 'It' is a very private process." Nekamara said. At least she had some braincells. They both left, leaving an awkward tension that completely killed the mood. I got up and looked at Nagiko. She was crying... She had an insane look on her face, as if despair was threatening to swallow her up.

"Oh, how shameful! I just wanted to have a bit of alone time with you but, instead, your door got busted down and others have seen me topless! What did I expect? That's my luck." She immediately put on her bra and shirt and was reaching for her hoodie when she continued,

"I'm so sorry Hinata-Chan. Because of me, Akane saw what we were doing and he'll probably tell everyone and even if we now know what 'It' is, the rest won't. They'll assume we had sex. That would a horrible image for you. I'm so sorry that my selfish greed will soon cause you so much pain."

...At that point, I didn't care anymore. I really only cared about her. I barely bothered with the thought of what Fuyuki would say or what people like Mari thought. I sighed and hugged her.

"I. Don't. Give. A shit. Let them assume whatever the hell they want. Now, you wanna play some board games like we agreed to?"

"..."

"...Sure."

This really has to show you how weak I am. This is the dirtiest thing I've ever written and it's probably more fluff than smut. Still! I hope you enjoyed it.

[lannister-slings-and-arrows]

#8 with Javier and each time he gets more and more flustered bc somehow brushing hands is far more intimate than sex and he doesn't know what to do with feelings and in the end y'all somehow end up holding hands and everyone except the two of you notice that you haven't let go yet (sorry I took the prompt and fucking sprinted lmaoo)

8. Hands brushing unexpectedly (plus a little extra lol)

The first time that it happened it was such a casual occurrence that neither one of them acknowledged it. They were both reaching for the same map, the desk space that was allocated to the three of them wasn’t exactly large, it was frankly a little surprising that their hands hadn’t brushed before this. She had already knocked heads with Murphy twice; that man needed to learn to stop hunching over so far, he had plenty of room above her head where she couldn't reach anyways there was no need for him to invade the space closer to the ground.

So when Javier Peña’s hand brushed hers he didn’t think twice about swatting it out of his way and taking the map for himself. She huffed in annoyance and tried to grab it back- but was cut off by Murphy shoving another copy into her face with an annoyed “stop it”. He smirked at her triumphantly and that was that.

The second time their hands brushed she was handing him a cup of what he was pretty sure at one point was definitely coffee but now more closely resembled activated charcoal mixed with hot water. She rarely deigned to fetch coffee for the three of them (in all honesty he was nearly as bad- if Murphy was going to mother the both of them anyways, why bother), so he took it from her with a surprised smile and didn’t mention the fact that this was probably not safe for human consumption. As she handed it over, his fingers rested over hers and he nearly dropped the cup of sludge. When was the last time he had noticed how warm they were? Had he ever? He looked down at their fingers and he couldn’t help but notice how much smaller than his hers were. Were his hands that much bigger than normal?

He quickly grabbed the cup from her, ignoring the “enraged mongoose” (he would forever be so proud of himself for making that comparison once in the hearing of that one gossipy CIA agent- now it had become synonymous with her and her bursts of tiny mammal like fury, much to her annoyance) noise that she made and threw himself into his chair. He stared at Murphy’s hands and then back down at his own. No, they were pretty normal sized. He couldn’t get the image of her fingers underneath his own, he couldn’t even banish the image by fantasizing about other things they could do that would involve her underneath him. Murphy eventually noticed the older agent staring at his hands with a deep furrow of annoyance on his forehead and threw an eraser at him.

“What’s with you?” Peña cut his eyes to Vic, who had looked up at the question and was now staring at him expectantly. He grunted.

“Nothing. Get back to work.”

He was on the look out for this weird feeling by the time his hand brushed hers the third time. He was about ninety percent sure she had dislocated three of her fingers on her right hand hanging off the roof of a building they had been chasing their latest quarry through and couldn’t switch the safety off on her gun. Normally, he would tell her to stay behind him and stay out of the way but she had made it very clear, loudly and violently, that she was breeching that door with him and he could just go fuck himself “with something sharp and sandpaper-y” if he talked to her like a child one more time. So he reached over and flicked the button to its proper position for her.

His left hand was mostly safe, a few fingers barely brushed hers as he gripped the top of the gun to hold it steady. It was his right hand that took the brunt of the contact, his palm rested fully on top of the back of her hand and there it was. That feeling again. He had been stabbed in the stomach once back in that States and it had felt similar to this. This hot and cold swooping feeling low in his stomach that made him anxious and angry and resentful. He dropped her gun and her hand like they had burnt him and kicked the door open a little more violently than was probably necessary, if the look on Murphy’s face was anything to go by. He didn’t fucking care, this was ridiculous and he was mad.

Javier made a conscious effort for the next few weeks to make sure that their hands stayed in their own personal space bubbles. There were a few close calls to be sure, but he was careful. He was on the look out for this feeling, this brief intimacy that she seemed to not even notice that for some reason was driving him insane. Even when they weren’t touching he was thinking about touching her hands, and watching her hands, and wanting to cut off the hands of everyone else around them when they had the nerve, the sheer fucking audacity to brush against hers, and then just not even notice. How could they not?! How could they ignore the callous on her middle finger from holding a pen, or the ones on her palms from holding a gun? Didn't they feel that feeling, that emptiness and longing and joy and awe that the briefest of contact conveyed?

Javi jumped back in shock when he realized that he was no longer just imagining that feeling but that Vic’s hand had brushed all the way from his wrist to his fingers as she reached around him to shove Murphy’s feet off of his desk. She gave him a brief, questioning glance before turning back to the blond agent she had just woken up to question him about something that Javier knew he should probably be paying attention to. But how could he? That feeling was eating him up inside again and he needed to go smoke about twenty cigarettes to try and eradicate it.

Peña was unsuccessful at getting rid of it. The more he tried to ignore it the worse it got, it seemed that the only time he was able to dull it to a quiet roar was when he allowed himself to think about how warm her hand felt against his, how scratchy her shredded cuticles felt (if he had to listen to Murphy lecture Vic one more time about how picking and chewing at them was a great way to pick up all sorts of bugs and set herself up for infections around her fingers he was honestly going to puncture his own ear drums), how surprisingly soft her skin was where there wasn’t any physical evidence of the work she did. So he really should have guessed that something was wrong two nights later when he paused briefly while giving Carrillo a sitrep and realized that the feeling was almost settled.

Peña and Vic had been chasing someone into a trap being laid a few blocks away by Murphy and Carrillo when the asshole had led them into a warren like maze of alleys and dead end streets completely devoid of external lighting. He had grabbed her hand to keep them together and they had plunged into the labyrinth, emerging on the other side panting and unsuccessful- somehow the guy had managed to escape again.

And that was what he was telling Murph and Carrillo. It wasn’t that shocking- it's not like he was the first drug runner the team had lost, and they knew how to find him again so he wasn’t completely gone with the wind. He really did not know why the two men were looking at Vic and he like they were. Carrillo’s mouth was gaping slightly and Murphy looked like he was about to explode trying not to smile. What the hell…

“What?!” Peña finally snapped. “What the hell is wrong with you? Did you guys manage to bag him or something?” Carrillo nodded at Vic standing next to him. “What, I don’t understand” He looked over and down at his partner and she smiled up at him. He looked back at the two other men and scowled.

Finally Murphy was able to control himself enough to clear his throat, rub his hand over his mustache and ask, grinning like an idiot,

“Afraid you were gonna lose your way while giving us that report, Peña?” Peña narrowed his eyes at the blond man who nodded down at his hand.

He was still hanging on to Vic for dear life, fingers intertwined with hers, thumb rubbing small circles on the back of her hand. He looked up at her, wide eyed, still not letting go, a little terrified. She shrugged.

“News to me too pal.”

He didn't drop her hand.

(I used my OC from The Boss for the sole reason of I just started typing and that’s what came out lol.)

[prompt-a-klainefic]

Why Kurt Hummel HATES Werewolf Stories

by @grlnxtdr30

I originally posted this as a prompt, but since no one filled it, I wrote it myself!

Why Kurt Hummel HATES Werewolf Stories

“Please tell me that’s not another werewolf movie?” Kurt asked as he entered the Warbler’s Commons for their weekly Friday Night Movie Marathon, his voice dripping with contempt as he saw the video playing on the massive flat screen TV.

“It’s The Howling,” Jeff replied, not looking away from the screen. “It’s a classic. What’s your problem with werewolf movies, anyway?”

Kurt let out a delicate snort. “They’re just so unrealistic!”

David laughed a little at that. “Yeah, cause werewolves aren’t real.”

Kurt just rolled his eyes and took his seat next to Blaine on one of the couches. He put his earbuds in and opened his book, ignoring the movie completely. After The Howling, they put on Fright Night II, and Kurt actually pulled out his earbuds and closed the book to watch.

“So, werewolf movies are unrealistic, but vampire movies are okay?” Nick questioned when the second film had finished. Kurt just shrugged.

“It’s not just werewolf movies,” Kurt said. “Werewolf books are just as bad. And don’t even get me started on fanfiction! Do these people even know how pack structure works?”

Several pairs of eyes were staring at him. “You seem to be an expert, so tell us what’s wrong with werewolf stories?” David demanded.

Kurt let out a snort. “Fine! First off, the movies always get the graphics wrong. The way they depict a werewolf shifting is physiologically impossible. Bones and tissue would snap and rip apart if that was how the transition worked. And what is with all the slimy liquid flowing off the body during the shift? Just ew!”

No one answered as he went on. “But that’s only the half of it! All those so called romance novels and fanfictions talking about The Alpha male searching out a submissive omega mate is just a bunch of bull! In a true wolf pack, there is an Alpha pair. Generally the Alpha Female chooses the strongest Alpha Male to mate with, so they can produce healthy, strong pups, but in some packs, the Alphas are siblings, or even two males that have, for one reason or another, been forced out of other packs and have to form their own. In those rare occasions when there are two Alpha males, they find a surrogate female to mate with.”

“And just how do you know so much about wolves?” Thad asked.

Kurt shrugged, picking up his book and beginning to read again. “My mother was a biologist. She spent years researching wolf packs in the region.”

“You never told me that about your mom,” Blaine said, watching his best friend. He could see the tension in Kurt’s shoulders that he knew meant the paler boy was holding something in.

“It’s never come up in conversation,” He said, still staring at his book, but Blaine could see the tear in the corner of his eye that he fought hard not to let fall.

…

Two and a half weeks later

“Hey Kurt! Blaine! Wait up!” Nick called out as they were walking to the parking lot after Warbler practice, heading to the Lima Bean for their weekly coffee-not-a-date.

“What’s up?” Blaine asked, turning towards his friend.

“You guys know Jeff’s birthday is Saturday, right?”

“Yeah?” Kurt said.

“Well, I’m setting up a surprise party for Saturday night, and I want you two to be there!”

Blaine grinned. “Of course I’ll be there!”

Kurt frowned. “Sorry, I can’t make it. Have a family thing this weekend.”

“Oh come on, Kurt!” Blaine teased. “That’s what you said last month when Wes called for a Warbler bonding game night. And the month before, when David’s dad got that promotion and treated the Warblers to a pizza party to celebrate. Can’t you get out of it for one night?”

“Believe me, I wish I could, but it’s an important family tradition. I can’t miss it.”

…

Three weeks and a couple of days later

“So what is this sacred family tradition?” Blaine asked, sitting in the chair at Kurt’s desk in the auburn haired boy’s dormroom, watching as he packed his overnight bag.

Kurt just shrugged. “It’s not really that big a deal. My family owns a cabin near Lake Cody. We go up there and hang out and watch the local wolf pack.”

Blaine’s eyes went wide. “Really? That would be cool. Maybe I could go with you sometime?”

Kurt’s head jerked up. “No!” Blaine was startled by the fear in the other boy’s voice. Kurt took a calming breath. “Sorry, I just meant it might not be safe for you. The wolves are used to us being there, but I don’t know how they’d react to an outsider. I wouldn’t want you getting hurt. You understand, right?”

Blaine studied his best friend, knowing Kurt wasn’t telling him the truth, but not knowing what about. “Oh. Well yeah, I guess I understand. Have fun!”

Kurt gave him an awkward smile. “Thanks.”

Blaine glanced at his watch. “Oh, gosh, I’m late! I promised Trent I’d tutor him in calculus!”

…

Blaine sat in his car near Lake Cody later that evening, wondering why he was here. So Kurt had lied to him about something. It wasn’t like it was that big a deal. Maybe he was just embarrassed about some silly family tradition he didn’t want Blaine to know about.

Why couldn’t Blaine just accept that fact and move on? As Blaine got out of his car and moved into the woods towards where he had seen Kurt pull off the main road, he noticed the moon just beginning to peak over the horizon. The sun hadn’t even fully set yet. He hadn’t really thought about the fact that there was a full moon tonight.

Come to think of it, Kurt’s mystery family get-togethers always seemed to happen on the full moon, even if it was mid week. Blaine paused mid-step. The thought that filled his mind was so ludicrous, he almost laughed it off. Sure he was insane to think that Kurt might actually be a werewolf? Was that why he hated werewolf movies and stories?

“Get a grip, Anderson! Kurt is not a werewolf!” he muttered to himself.

Shaking his head, he began trekking through the woods once more, but had only gone about twenty feet when a sound brought him to a halt once more. A low growl seemed to reverberate through Blaine’s spine. He turned slowly towards the sound, fear and dread filling him as he came face to face with a large dark grey wolf.

The animal was beautiful and terrifying at the same time, as the low growl continued to rumble from the creature’s throat.

“Nice doggy!” Blaine said, slowly raising his hands to show he was harmless. “I’m not going to hurt you! Please have the same consideration!”

“Luna!” a familiar voice called out from close behind Blaine. Kurt spoke harshly in a language Blaine didn’t understand, but the wolf seemed to. It stopped growling, and dropped to its belly, letting out a little whine. “Go back to the hunt, Luna! Now!” The wolf let out a little yip, and then ran off.

Blaine lowered his hands and turned to face his friend. 

“What are you doing here, Blaine?” Kurt asked, sounding wary.

“I…” He couldn’t think of one plausible excuse for his presence, and didn’t think Kurt would believe a lie. The pale boy let out a little sigh.

“I told you it might be dangerous. Luna might have attacked you if I hadn’t come along.”

“Thank you for saving me. What language was that you were speaking?”

Kurt crossed his arms over his chest. “Shoshone. My mother taught me how to speak it, along with French. You’re lucky, Luna is young. She probably wouldn’t have hurt you too badly, at least not on purpose. The younger wolves are on a practice hunt tonight.”

Blaine studied the taller boy. “How do you know so much about the wolves, and what they are doing?”

Kurt sighed again. “I really wish you hadn’t come tonight, Blaine. Any other night, I might have brought you out and introduced you to the pack, or at least half of the pack, anyway. The natural wolves. But tonight the rest of the pack is here, and it’s too late.”

Blaine looked at Kurt in confusion. “Why is it too late, and what do you mean by the natural wolves?”

Kurt’s lips turned up in what should have been a smile, but seemed off to the curly haired boy. “It’s the full moon, Blaine, and I’ve been fighting my nature around you for months. I’ve wanted to stake a claim on you since the moment we met, to put my scent on you so the others would know you are mine.”

“What are you talking about, Kurt?”

“I can’t hold him back, anymore, Blaine. He wants you. I want you!” The last words were shouted on an inhuman howl, as the form of his best friend seemed to shimmer as a moonbeam broke through the trees and caught the pale boy in its light.

Blaine’s eyes went round with shock and disbelief as the distortion around Kurt shifted, and changed shape. Suddenly, instead of a human boy, there was a large, red wolf standing just inches away from Blaine.

Blaine’s mind had barely comprehended what it had just witnessed when the creature lunged at Blaine, knocking him flat on his back, and powerful jaws latched onto his shoulder, biting down, piercing flesh, and causing Blaine to scream as pain filled him. It was too much for him, and the world faded to black.

…

Two weeks later

“Oh please! Not another werewolf movie!”

“Why not?” Wes asked. “Besides, it’s not technically a werewolf movie.”

“No, it’s worse,” Kurt said. “It’s Twilight! As much as I love looking at Taylor Lautner and fantasize about letting him deflower me in a meadow of lilacs, there is no excuse for the horror of this film!”

“I agree with Kurt,” Blaine piped up. “Werewolf movies are so unrealistic.”

“Oh for pete’s sake!” David shouted. “There are no such things as werewolves!

Blaine shared a secret smile with his new boyfriend. “Whatever you say, David.”

[pies-writes-and-more]

PIES’ FIC RECOMMENDATIONS FOR MAY 2020

So I’ve never done one of these fic recommendations lists before but I really want to share some of the amazing work that I’ve read this past month! I’ve definitely read a whole ton more but I was dumb and didn’t think to like draft this list and then just keep adding to it... so I’m just attempting to go through my tags LOL please be patient with my dumbass. 

NOTE: Since I only started doing this recently, a lot of my recommendations are gonna come from a lot of my mutuals but I’m always open to hearing more about other fics!!! If you’ve got an incredible fic that you are super proud of or if you think that I should read something you’ve read, PLEASE SEND IT TO ME! I’m really big on StevexFem!Reader, BuckyxFem!Reader, WandaxFem!Reader, CarolxFem!Reader, and Stucky fics!!!

If you do end up reading these fics, please tag me if you reblog them or comment on them!! I’d love to see your guys’ reactions :) 

ANYWAYS THE FOLLOWING PEOPLE HAVE CRUSHED MY HEART WITH AMAZING FICS, RUINED MY IDEALS OF WHAT LOVE IS, AND/OR BROKEN MY HEART WITH ANGST ONLY TO REVIVE IT WITH SOME FLUFF. I love you all so very much.

PS. if these links dont work for some reason, please let me know so I can update this list because I was very distracted halfway through making this so it might not be perfect!

1.Walpurgis Night by @anika-ann​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “In which Steven volunteers to find a long-lost princess of Starkerbürg. (Fairy Tale AU)” I have no clue why this fic is not given more goddamn attention because holy shit yall, I have never been so grasped by a fic before. If you love medieval/fairy tale type things, you will love this fic. And if you don’t, you’re gonna love it anyways because @anika-ann​ writes SO. FUCKING. WELL. 100% fluff and love.

2. Abs Aren’t Always the Answer by @its-not-captain-america​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “Steve asks Y/N what girls are interested in, trying to impress her. Several shirtless pics later it’s not working.” Y’all want hilarious shit??? What about Steve Rogers always trying to take his fucking shirt off because he has the DNA (and the body) of a stripper? JK that’s not the actual reason but this fic is so funny, I died reading the first 700 times (and the 701st time too... and every time after that). 100% hilarious.

3. Challenge Accepted...? by @anika-ann​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader ”Steve’s never been good at quick decision-making when it came to his own safety. After one particularly horrible experience, you find a way to remind him every day to think twice the next time he’s faced with a tough choice. He is not amused.” Steven Grant Rogers you stupid dumb hoe lol. That’s all I’mma say about this fic because it speaks for itself when you read it haha. Banter is iconic in this fic. 100% hilarious.

4. A Matter of Trust by @anika-ann​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “You and Steve get to go to a mission together after a while; free drinks, partying, dressing-up nicely, stealing blueprints, the usual. You might even enjoy this as a couple.“ This time it’s Y/N that’s kindof a stupid dumb hoe but like that’s okay because when Y/N is a stupid dumb hoe, it’s not as stupid or dumb as when Steve does it. There’s a bit of a carry on between Challenge Accepted...? and this fic! So I would suggest reading that one first and then this :) 100% hilarious.

5. For a Smile by @anika-ann​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “You see him run past every morning. So you smile, because he looks like a nice person. How could he not be when he smiles back and the world stops for a while to pay respect to such beauty?” So you know how Disney movies totally screwed over some of our perspectives of how guys were gonna come and sweep us off our feet? Yeah. This fic did it too. I’m still waiting for my fairytale fucking moment like this fic but if it never happens, I’ll settle for just reading this over and over again LOL. 100% F L U F F and LOVE.

6. Grease and Pearls by @anika-ann​​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “All you know is uptown; fancy clothes, expensive cars, jewellery outshining one’s personality and exhausting dinners with family acquaintances and business partners. Your life is all planned out; one day, you’ll marry Howard Stark’s son and you’ll be the golden couple adored by press.” This 3-part series slayed me. Like honestly, I’ve never been so torn apart before. Y’all lucky that if you read it, you get to read all 3 parts right away whereas I had to sit and wait for my heart to be torn apart and then stomped on. (Jk anika i love you you know that). Super amazing thing I love about this fic: it’s got links to the dresses that Y/N wears (super cute btw) AND it’s got two different endings so you can decide!!! 100% ANGST and 100% FLUFF? At the same time??? Because of the two endings?!?!?!? NOTE: part 2 got some steamy smut in there so 18+ readers only. I had to take a cold shower after reading it like goddamn.

7. Be Alright by @kayteewritessteve​ ​| Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “Steve goes through a bad breakup, but a sweet voice and a friendly smile helps him realize he can begin again, and that he definitely should.” God this fic. I can’t with this fic. It’s based on the Dean Lewis song Be Alright, which is already one of my favourites, but this fic, ugh, Kaytee knows how to hurt you that’s for sure. It’s so pure and so wonderful. 100% SAD but like it gets better promise.

8. Cold Feet by @anika-ann​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader

“After two months of dating, you’ve come to a conclusion as exciting as well as a bit irritating: Steve Rogers is a perfect man. He simply has no flaw.Or does he?” Mother. Fucking. Adorable. I dunno if there’s anything else to say except that anika really knows how to make me wish I was Y/N adsoifhosd. 100% F L U F F

9. Hot Chocolate by @vodkaxtonic​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “Steve gets sick and Y/N takes care of him, which involves a lot of Steve’s whining, hot chocolate and cuddles.“ Steve Rogers is a little shit who won’t just accept that he’s sick and needs to be taken care of BUT IT’S SO CUTE AND THIS FIC IS THE BEST!!!! 100% FLUFF!!

10. Home by @evanstush​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “It’s been 2 years since the last battle and it’s now Morgan’s 7th birthday, and well, Tony being Tony, he prepared a small party for her little girl, inviting everyone from the team, including you.” Hnnnggg this fic. Okay so. I love @evanstush​ with all my fucking heart because she’s always been so supportive of me and my fics. That being said I WAS NOT EXPECTING HER KIND ASS TO HURT MY HEART LIKE THIS. But again, it’s okay because it’s got fluff guys. 50% ANGST and 50% FLUFF. Well like it’s 100% both but like I have to split it haha.

11. Cocktails by @writeyourmindaway​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “ ~i really don’t know what to write i’m sorry~ DRINKS!” That’s okay, darling, I’ll write the summary you. HILARITY. WONDERFULNESS. THE WORD BLOWJOB WRITTEN SO MANY TIMES AND IT’S FUCKING GOLD. This is so funny i love it haha. This fic killed me. I should’ve seen it coming (hehe) but i didn’t lol. 100% HILARIOUS.

12. Unadulterated by @writeyourmindaway​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader No summary for this one but again, I shall do the honours haha. It’s part 2 of ‘Cocktails’ and this one is just as adorable and hilarious as the first part! Steve is a cheeky little soft boi and the flirting just makes me feel all sorts of ways <3 100% ADORABLE.

13. Water Wars by @writeyourmindaway | Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader “The team finds a new way to unwind” I love fics where you just see the team get to be normal people!!! Plus haven’t we all thought about how the Avengers would are in a water fight? Is that just me? Don’t have to fantasize about it now because @writeyourmindaway wrote it for you :D 100% FLUFF.

14. Slow Like Honey by @heli0s-writes | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “The gossip that buzzes around in the teacher’s lounge is that sweet, sensitive, divorcé Steve Rogers is hot-for-teacher. His daughter’s first-grade teacher, to be exact.” I binged this whole fucking series. 8 parts of PURE. EVERYTHING. I have never so badly wanted a happy ending in my fucking life. This is an amazing series with so much love put into it, you can tell. I really can’t explain this fic because you really need to just go read it to know how amazing it is. NOTE: Part 4, 5, and 8 have some serious love smut in there so 18+ readers only please. UGH. I love this fic so much. I will continue to keep daydreaming about it and thinking about it all the time. God I love me some Dad!Steve. 50% FLUFF and 50% ANGST (which seriously tore my heart out like I cried).

15. You Make My World Spin by @anika-ann | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “After the Battle of New York and all the mess Tony gets involved in later, Pepper believes he is in a need of an assistant slash tech genius. Enter you. While Tony is not amused by Pepper’s idea at first… he soon warms up to you.” So many insanely wonderful references in this fic, it’s hilarious. Also, Tony being a little shit LOL. Such a hilarious fic!!!! 100% AMAZINGLY HILARIOUS.

16. If You Stumble... by @anika-ann | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “If you stumble…make it part of the dance. In which you ask Steve what your date would look like if you lived the forties. He decides to show you instead. There are few flaws, holes to see through to glimpse beyond that illusion. But what life would be besides boring if everything was perfect? Perfect dress. Perfect date. Perfect gentleman…?” So my dumbass was so excited to read something that anika put out that I didn’t realize this was part 2 of a 3 part series lol I’m dumb yes I know. Anyways, this is part 1 so please don’t be like me and read the first part LOL. ANYWAYS, this was so fucking wholesome. This is definitely one that I need to read again and fully read in order (she’s got part 3 on her AO3, I believe) but ugh. I love the idea of Steve dating in this century, comparing things to how things were done in the old days ufglasodfhsd. I love it. Amazing. 100% FLUFF (I think because well my dumbass hasn’t finished but this part was fluffy :3)

17. @wxstedhexrt‘s poems | Read Them Here! | Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes I don’t think Destiny ever gave me a summary of these but (and Destiny, please correct me if I’m wrong in how you want these to be portrayed!) I believe they’re poems written throughout the whole Steve and Bucky timeline. She’s used the Winter Soldier’s words and turned them into a gorgeous set of poems. 100% My favourite thing in the whole fucking world. 

18. The Lonely Tree by @sarahwroteathing​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “You have a favorite tree which you make sure to pass every day on your way to class, but one day you find you’ll have to get used to sharing it with a friendly art student.” Holy shit guys this 15 part series was so amazing. It’s 100% PURE FLUFF and PINING and gorgeous. Holy shit. Like I screamed reading the whole goddamn thing. Amazing writing by an amazing human being with some awesome humour haha.

19. @sinner-as-saint​ responding to an anon request? Amazing. | Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader Request: May I just spice up your day with the thought of best friend/roommate bucky being jealous when you bring someone home HOT. AS. FUCK. Holy shit. It’s such a short little list of things that Bucky would do but ugh. I was dying reading it. I love me some jealous Bucky smut. 100% angsty fluff? With smuttiness ;) 18+ readers please!!

20. @alloftheimaginesblog​ prompted fic | Steve Rogers x Reader (I could be wrong here but I believe the gender of the reader is never specified? But the ring is a woman’s ring so?? @alloftheimaginesblog​ pls correct me if you want!) Prompt: Finding an engagement ring in one of their drawers. So fucking fluffy I needed a cavity filled after ugh. I loved it so much it was just a gorgeous piece of writing. Steve is a little piece of poop for not hiding that ring better I mean come on, you’re telling me you couldn’t have punched a hole, put the ring there, and then cover it up with like a cabinet or something??? jk i still love you steeb. 100% fluff!

21. Laser Tag by @stargazingfangirl18​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “You play laser tag with your boyfriend Steve and his best friend Bucky. Since you’re just a plain ole civilian, you gotta use what non-Avenger skills you have to avoid losing. Hint: those skills involve Steve and kissing.” Iconic. Everything. Wonderful. There is nothing I love more than Steve Rogers being a little sucker for making out with his girlfriend even when there’s a competition. 100% fluff!!!!

22. Under the Rainbow, Draga mea by @binkysteebnpewter​ | Wanda Maximoff x Fem!Reader I don’t think there’s an official summary ( @binkysteebnpewter​ pls correct me if I’m wrong) but my summary is this: GAYNESS <3 I love me some wlw content so when I saw this pop up on my dash, I couldn’t NOT read. It’s soooo good. This is a Social Media AU and the amount of meme usage in there I- it’s fucking wonderful. It’s still in progress though so you guys will have to pine after this relationship with me. I FUCKING LOVE IT. 100% GAY LOVE <3

23. A Fic in which Peggy Carter plays wingwoman because these two idiots are in love with each other but they can’t see it so our Queen needs to throw it at them by @1she1hulk1​ (please note I made this title by myself because I don’t think there was a title LOL @1she1hulk1​ lmk if you want me to change this xD) | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “the plot is bacially you and Steve go to see Peggy and she tells Steve to finally make his move” Peggy Carter is a fucking Queen and she knows that Steve is falling for you, because he just won’t stop fucking talking about you LOL. Anyways, this is a super cute fic!!!! Please go give it some love because this human being who wrote it doesn’t think she’s a good writer?????? Crazy. 100% FLUFF!!!!

OTHER FICS THAT DESERVE MENTIONING!!!!

So because this is my first recommendation list on this site, I know I’m definitely missing some amazing fics that I’ve read but never saved (I’m a terrible person I know). So I’m just gonna add them in this list here because they deserve love and attention too!

@wxstedhexrt​‘s poetry. Period. End of story lol. JK. So the ones that I’ve read that are on Destiny’s tumblr aren’t all fandom related (besides the one that I posted above) but they’re still really amazing. I’ve never felt so captured by poems before (mostly because i’m stupid and don’t understand a lot of poetry). Ugh anyways I love her poems so much so please go check them out! CLICK HERE FOR BEAUTY <3

Alright so I know a lot of you guys know @kayteewritessteve​ but if you don’t, she’s this super amazing writer with INCREDIBLE series. (CLICK HERE TO SEE HER FULL MASTERLIST). But one of my most favourite series by her, and one of my favourite series of all time, is: If Only You Knew “You arrive home one day to find a wedding invite for two of your best friends from high school. You knew this day was going to come eventually, but even with that said, you weren’t prepared to return home. At least not after 7 years of avoiding Buckhannon, West Virginia. Or rather, avoiding him; your ex-best friend and the secret love of your life. But maybe it was finally time to face your past, to face him and everything else that happened on that horrible night.”  This 18 (plus an Epilogue) part series will literally have you screaming at your screen being like WHY YALL CANT JUST TELL EACH OTHER HOW YALL FEEL?!?!?!?! 75% angst (because Kaytee likes to hurt us) and 25% fluff BUT the fluff is SOOOOO worth it so it’s like 100% angst and 200% fluff (i was never a mathlete). NOW since, we’re on the topic of Kaytee’s writing, I’d also like to mention: Love and War  “In a harsh medieval world, you set out on a perilous quest that will lead you onto a forbidden land. A land ruled and controlled by a ruthless Warlord King, one who does not look favourably upon trespassers of any kind, and punishes all with an iron fist. You may not know exactly where this quest will end, but what you do know is you will forever be altered by it. And that knowledge alone is what truly terrifies you the most.” so I read this while Kaytee was writing it about a year ago and holllyyyyyy shit. Okay. So. Listen. Fantasy? Check. Romance? Check. Amazing writing? Well it’s Kaytee so yea obviously check. I want to list more things but I don’t want to give it away! This is a 15 part series (plus an Epilogue and Outro) but it goes by so quickly once you’re stuck and waiting for more!!!! 

[lucifers-trash-stash]

Good Girl

Summary: Freddy Krueger has been waiting for so long to haunt the hearts and minds of new victims. As soon as he stumbles upon her, he knows she’ll be the perfect vessel to spread his fear.

Word Count: 3574

A/N: Happy Halloween!!! So this fic was written for @sherrybaby14​ and her Fall Into You Challenge, and my prompt was “Why me?” I’ve written for Freddy since high school, but this is the first time I’ve actually written smut for him, and it’s definitely some of the most non-con stuff I have written so uh I hope u all enjoy this insane premise and maybe find it as hot as I do lol I’ve also been playing around with smut in the 3rd person recently just as a way to try something new so I hope you like it!

Warnings: DEFINITE NON-CON! It turns more dub-con towards the end but considering the implications of the fic this is definitely non-con and if that bothers or upsets you then you shouldn’t read it. Knife play, slight degredation (this is Freddy we’re talking about, he throws some “whores” and “sluts” around), loss of virginity, daddy kink, manipulation, tricking someone into sex, and voyeurism. So esentially my nightmare if Freddy discovered what my kinks were.

There were a lot of dreamers that had wandered into the Springwood Slasher’s domain. No one ever came to him willingly, and only a few ever escaped his metal claw. However, the years had not been kind to him, and over time he had grown as rusty as his blades. The people that stumbled into his world often drifted out just as quickly. They simply didn’t scare as easily anymore, and none of them gave a second thought to the man with the ratty fedora and red and green striped sweater, much less spread the fear to their friends.

He simply had to adapt, and Krueger was a man that could devise a solution to this dilemma quite easily. It would take time and the right target, but all would fall into place again, just as it had many years ago. Only a matter of time and he would be back in business.

It didn’t take long for a fly to land in the spider’s web. He didn’t interact with her the first few times she slid into his dream world, taking great care not to spook her away. The time he spent watching her was to gather every scrap of information he could. Her fears, her desires, every thought that flit across her mind as she spent her sleeping hours fantasizing about what she truly wanted. And what she wanted surprised even a man like himself.

He pegged her for college age, a tad older than his usual prey. She was cute in an innocent, naive sort of way, perfect for his intentions. And her plump figure was a nice little addition as well, a body he could really sink his claws into. 

But what really held his stunned curiosity were the content of her dreams. This sweet innocent thing consistently fantasized about losing her virginity. And not to any particular man, like a boyfriend or a crush. No, it was perhaps a revolving door of different older men that she dreamt about, whether they were people she knew or they were celebrities, Freddy had no idea. But he knew for certain he wanted to keep pursuing the mind of this woman, and watch her deepest desires fulfilled in her dreams.

All of her dreams followed a similar scenario, whether it took place in her bedroom or elsewhere. Older men with beards, silver hair, tattoos, hairy chests, broad shoulders, some tall, some short, some muscular, some thicker, with large hands that would hold her open as they ravished her body. They would all whisper lewd things to her, telling her how they would take her virginity. Some were gentle while others were firm, depending on what her mind desired at that moment. They would touch every inch of her body, always paying attention to her soft breasts and her soaked lower lips, while she cooed and whimpered as they ate her out. And then they would fuck her in every position imaginable. She must have enjoyed dirty talk, as every scenario involved them praising her up and down, worshipping her, telling her what a good little babygirl she was. 

The sight of such debauchery would leave a wide grin plastered over Freddy’s marred skin, his libido raging ever higher at every performance he viewed. He so desperately wanted to turn the dream to his favor, but he had to lie in wait for the right opportunity. It would come eventually.

When he first made contact with her, he transformed himself into one of the men she dreamt of. He didn’t often stay in another form for too long without transforming back to scare his victim, so it was an uncomfortable experience wearing the skin of one of these handsome, older men. Yet she couldn’t tell the difference, performing for him just as she normally would have. He indulged himself, letting her yank at his silver hair while he lapped up her honeyed juices. So long since he tasted from a willing partner, or as willing as this one could be given the circumstances. It was hard containing himself when he entered her, her legs locked around his waist in a vice grip as she tossed her head back and revelled in the pleasure. He even let her curl up to him after as she fell asleep within the dream. He waited patiently until she had left his realm before jumping back up and shedding the skin of the other man, shuddering to himself as if he had just touched something revolting. 

He carried on with that for a few more times, until he decided it was time to test what she was capable of handling next. She had been growing bored of her usual dream man, so her mind was susceptible to suggestion. So when he donned the appearance of the man he used to be, long before the fire, she was confused at first and yet accepted him. He was certainly her type, though his thinning red hair was something different than her usual fantasies. He could tell she warmed up to it by the way she ran her fingers through it when he kissed her. Her body fit so lovely against his as he knelt above her, groaning as he sunk within her tight heat. Her fingers ran up and down his smooth skin, a body that was his and yet not. His bare hands could grip her as his hips bucked into hers, everything so accessible to him. Not even his wife had been this exquisite, even at her very best. Eyes rolled to the back of his head as he groaned deeply, praising her on how well she took him. That adorable smile, the smile she made when she had been so thoroughly and enjoyably fucked beyond her wildest dreams by Freddy fucking Krueger, almost drove him to start another round. But this was enough for tonight. There would be many more opportunities. 

The longer the charade went on, the antsier Krueger got. This wasn’t his typical behavior. He would have sooner called himself a coward for hiding behind a revolving mask of men just to lure one single woman, but he couldn’t help it. The feeling of fucking her was like a drug, and he was damn sure things would change as soon as he revealed himself. But the real question was why he even cared? Perhaps it was that she would make things harder. Or even worse, he might have grown feelings for her. The thought made him want to retch. He had feelings for no one. 

He resolved that when she fell asleep next, he would finally take her. 

------------------

For the woman, it started like every other fantasy she'd been living recently. Her dreams over the last few months had become so much more lucid. She woke up hornier than usual, and on a few occasions discovered she had orgasmed in her sleep. It was embarrassing, and yet they were some of the best she had ever had. She thought it was nice to wake up the next morning feeling fully refreshed after her dreamworld trysts. 

But this time was different. It was almost as if there was a heaviness in the air, but she couldn’t fully place it. The ginger haired man she had dreamt about recently was here though, waiting for her. She had conjured him out of nowhere a week ago, but wasn’t sure how. Never had she encountered a man like him before, so how could she have thought him up from thin air? He was simply an odd entity from the recesses of her brain and had no reason to believe otherwise.

He waited for her in the entrance of what was most likely a bedroom. A grin flashed as he glanced her over, admiring the nightgown that hugged her form. With a simple coaxing of his finger, he commanded, “Come here, babygirl.”

A shiver shot through her spine, and she did as he asked, stepping closer to him until he wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her flush to his body. Her fingers clutched to his weird red and green striped sweater, focusing more on the ravishing kiss than on his unique fashion choices. His free hand wrapped around the hair on the back of her head, pulling just enough to be firm but not too painful. Whoever this dream man was, she wished he were real. He knew everything she wanted and more.

When he pulled away, the smile he gave her made her uneasy. Even with his pleasant expression, his eyes showed no emotion. It was like the smile didn’t reach them, instead putting on a facade. But before she could think about it any further, he spoke honeyed words to her, “I have a surprise for you darling, you’ll be sure to love it.”

There was no time to question him, as he immediately swept her into the room, the door slamming behind them. She jumped, and yet he didn’t even flinch. She was starting to grow skittish, nervous. Things weren’t as they seemed at yet she was sure nothing bad would happen. It was her dream, after all. 

All of a sudden he was on top of her, pinning her to the bed, pawing and grabbing at every inch of skin as he peeled the gown from her body. Her nerves settled once more, allowing herself to relax in his arms, knowing that she was safe. It was her fantasy, her dream. He would never betray her, she was ultimately the one in control of him. The only reason he knew her desires so well was because he was from her head. That’s all.

And then another set of hands wrapped around her wrists and pulled them from her body. Her eyes shot open, staring in shock at the sight before her. It was two disembodied hands that ripped forth from the mattress and had grabbed her. How was she supposed to respond to that?

But then she looked up as she heard a dark chuckle above her, her eyes widening as the ginger haired man had turned into someone else. His skin was burnt, his wide smile pulled across his face in malicious glee. The sweater was now ratty and worn, and an equally dingy brown fedora rested upon his head, the shadows covering his eyes but not the hungry glint that he cast down at her.

Her gaze travelled to the glove that had appeared on his right hand, like a shop project from Hell. Over a normal brown mechanic’s glove he had formed metal plates on the back of his hand, extending to the fingers and from there fastening long blades to each finger, creating a fearsome clawed hand. She gulped as his fingers twitched, an amused sound coming from him as he watched her flinch.

It then dawned on her that she was pinned beneath this man, exposed completely to him except for the gown that was still bunched up around her waist. But the blades on his hand could easily rid her of that. And from the look in his eyes, he planned to.

“What’s wrong, babygirl,” he sneered, the pet name sounding tainted on his lips. “I thought you liked it when a man took charge?”

Her breath was caught in her throat, unable to form a response. She simply laid beneath him, not sure whether this was really a dream or not. It felt too vivid, too real. She would never be able to come up with something like this man on her own. Even then, the thought dawned on her that he looked familiar. Behind his wretched face, he still shared those ice blue eyes and his hooked nose with the ginger haired man. 

“I don’t understand,” she whimpered. She couldn’t fathom what all of this meant, if it was supposed to mean anything at all.

He simply chuckled, bringing his blades slowly down to her skin. She squeezed her eyes shut, expecting pain to come. But the only sensation she felt was a single cool blade against her skin, gently trailing down her body without leaving a mark. When she dared opened her eyes, she saw he was trailing the blades down her skin from the blunt side. Her breath hitched when he brought a single blade up her chest, coming to a stop beside her nipple, already becoming taught from the cold. She turned her head to the side in shame, trying her best to hide herself from him. But that didn’t stop him, if anything the action spurned him further. He groaned obscenely, his thighs tightening around her hips, and she could feel how hard he was through his pants. 

She wanted so much to scream, to struggle, to fight him off. But she didn’t want him to grow angry with her and hurt her more than she expected he would tonight. She hoped her submission would please him, and judging by his arousal, it certainly was. 

He sucked in a sharp breath, a second finger blade flicking out to join the other. She flinched again, and watched in a mixture of fear and arousal as he tenderly pinched her nipple between the two blades. He watched her expressions through hooded eyes, grinning as she struggled to cope with the new sensations. 

“You’ve been very good to me, sweetheart.” His free hand groped at her other breast, pinching the nipple more firmly than her other one, causing her to whimper. The feeling of his burnt hand along her soft skin was new, the texture adding new sensations that she had no idea how to feel about. “Always such a good little girl. I know you’ll do everything I ask you.”

The more he spoke, the more her body began to conflict with her mind. Here was this nightmarish man on top of her, biding his time before he assaulted her. And yet, she couldn’t help how much her core grew hot at every sweet word that came from his mouth. He was right, she wanted to be a good girl for him, whatever that meant. The thought scared and thrilled her in ways she couldn’t begin to fathom.

“Why me?” she asked, her lip quivering as she tried to speak.

He sneered down at her, never once hesitating in pinching and pulling at her nipples. “What can I say? I have a special place in my heart for the cute, innocent ones.” He groaned again. “And the tits are a great bonus.”

He suddenly pulled back from her, simply staring down at the sight before him. “Daddy’s been waiting months for this moment. And Daddy always gets what he wants. Isn’t that right?”

At first she didn’t register it as a question. But his blades neared her throat, and as he leaned down until he was right in front of her face, he growled, “Isn’t it?”

“Yes,” she gasped, the blades pressing just hard enough to pinch the skin of her delicate throat. 

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, Daddy.”

He grinned and pulled back from her, letting her breathe again. “Good girl,” he cooed. “But as fun as being your Daddy is, I need you to become familiar with another name. A name you’ll be screaming as I fuck you so hard into the bed you’ll wake up fantasizing about the next time you fall asleep. That you’ll tell your friends and spread my name as far and as wide as you can.” He paused for a moment, as if relishing the thought. “Only you can help me get back to the power I once was. You would do that for me, wouldn’t you?”

“Yes, Daddy,” she repeated again, and he chuckled. 

“I knew you wouldn’t disappoint me. Now, repeat after me,” he said, pressing his gloved hand to his chest as if reciting the pledge. “Freddy. Krueger.”

“Freddy Krueger.” Saying the name sent a pleasurable chill up her spine.

“Good girl,” he cooed. He adjusted himself so that her thighs were propped up in his lap, grinding himself against her slowly, watching her twitch and whimper. “Yes, my good little girl. But I have a feeling you’re my good little slut too, hmm?”

He gripped her hip with his bare hand and quickly drug his blades down the remainder of her nightgown, tearing it to shreds. She yelped, but he left her unscathed. “Most women are disgusted by the sight of me. About what I want to do to them. They run and scream and yet I always get them in the end. But you want me. You still want this old burned dream demon to fuck you senseless. How much do you want to bet when I pull away these panties you’re going to be soaking and ready like the little whore you are?”

Her face burned in shame and he smiled. “I’ll take that as a yes,” he said before yanking away the remaining scraps of fabric from her body, leaving her completely vulnerable to his touch. He laughed darkly as he looked down, admiring her before immediately rubbing her sensitive clit against the front of his pants, watching her juices soak into them while she whined so cutely. 

“This is why I love young women. Takes almost nothing to get them all wet and ready.” He tapped the back of his blade against her clit, revelling in the obscene noises that left her mouth. “All ready for Freddy.”

She wasn’t prepared for how quickly he entered inside of her, a low groan escaping her mouth as her body arched from the bed. She struggled against the hands at her wrists, the sensation of being completely bent to his will was an intoxicating thrill that she couldn’t describe. He grunted above her while he adjusted himself into place, letting out a low groan when he finally bottomed out, staring down at her form as she writhed beneath him.

“This. This is what I wanted. Such a good little whore for me.” With every shallow thrust she cried out again, those noises he so craved. “So long have I been waiting to fuck your little cunt in my true body.”

He placed his glove beside her head, her eyes were drawn to it for a brief moment before he began to set a ruthless pace on her. She cried out and he watched in glee as she threw her head back in the moment, absolutely loving everything he was doing to her. 

“And your cunt knows me so well. Even in other forms, it knows exactly who really owns it.” He smiled as she began to look up at him with a confused expression, or as confused an expression one can make while on the brink of ecstasy. “Oh, did you not know?”

He smiled darkly, leaning down to her body as he continued to fuck her. Whispering in her ear, he gleefully explained, “I’ve been fucking you for months now, sweetheart. You thought you were fucking your fantasy men, but I was there, watching, wanting. Then one day I slid right into that sweet cunt and you’ve been coming for me ever since.” His free hand went to circle her clit, leaving her in an orgasmic panic. “This cunt belongs to me. I popped that sweet little cherry of yours and now you’re mine. You wanted to be Daddy’s little girl?” He leaned forward to growl in her ear. “Here he is.”

The rest was a blur. She barely registered the true horror of the situation as she was coming undone right under his fingers. Her whole body clenched and seized, her pleasure awash over her. At first there was a moment of silence, and then a loud keening wail from her throat as her desire peaked. Freddy was the only word she knew in that moment, and she screamed it like a mantra as he continued to fuck her through her orgasm. He only managed a few more thrusts in her tightening walls before he spilled inside her, his hot seed filling her up and mingling with her own juices. She couldn't remember her wrists being let free but she was suddenly aware that she clutched to the back of his sweater, riding out the waves that kept hitting her. Eventually the two were finally reduced to a silent, trembling pair, panting and gasping for air.

And just like that he was gone, and she was awake in her own bed. She sat straight up in bed, her body drenched in a cold sweat as she looked around the room as if he would pop out at any moment.

“Only you can help me get back to the power I once was. You would do that for me, wouldn’t you?”

His voice still echoed clearly in her ears. “Freddy Krueger.” The name was strange yet felt right. She was his, and while she wasn’t sure if she liked it or not, she was content with the idea. 

For a brief moment her breath caught as a thought crossed her mind. Slowly, she peeled the sheets from her body and parted her thighs to look at herself. More than her own juices spilled out from her, and the reality of it spurned a new desire in her. A desire to give into him, to help him, and he would reward her and praise her in return.

She would be his good girl.

[curtashiism]

Long rant/vent ahead

It’s hard, because I know I genuinely love biology. I love learning about anatomy and physiology, and I have an affinity for bio as a whole. But I don’t know that it’s really what I want to do, and I feel like I was never given the chance to fully explore what I actually wanted to do because of my mom’s manipulative behavior to me growing up.

When I was younger I wanted to do something with music, but my mom told me I wouldn’t be good enough. I didn’t have the talent my sister did at the cello, which was why they sunk so much money into her cello rental and lessons but wouldn’t get me any lessons.

My mom told me future was in academics and I never really questioned it. Her grandma had a premonition (my mom’s words, not mine) that I would go into the sciences. So my mom never let me consider anything else. She tried her best to shut any other ideas I had down. She never came to a single one of my track meets when I ran in 8th grade. I mean, I finished dead last in every race except the one time I finished second to last, but that’s not the point. I shouldn’t have had to be good to earn her involvement. But that’s how it was with her. She only cared when it was something I was good at- academics. She’d come to the awards ceremonies when I made honor roll, but never cared about my other interests.

So I settled on the medical field at some point- I thought a doctor or vet for a while but I’m not good enough at math, physics, or chem, so now I’m thinking public health.

Before I started college, I wanted to take a break from school, get a job, and figure things out. But my mom didn’t want that. She thought if I did that, I’d never go back to school, and we couldn’t have that now could we? So she did what she does- she manipulated the situation to get what she wanted to my detriment. It didn’t matter that I didn’t want loans. She said “we all go into debt, suck it up” and told me if I didn’t start the next term she would kick me out.

So I did. Then once I had the loans finalized, she told me she was never going to kick me out, she just wanted me to “get my life together.” Because clearly it’s not my right to make those decisions, it’s hers, and if I wasn’t ready to start college at 19 my life must have been falling apart.

So now here I am, entering my senior year of college at 26 years old, panicking because I need to start preparing for a Master’s program but I don’t FEEL ready at all and I’m not sure this is actually what I want to do. I like the arts. I want to learn more about them. I want to learn to play the violin, I want to see if I can act (I’m practicing voice acting and am loving it and my friends say I actually am not bad at it and I have a cute voice perfect for child characters), or maybe even try to write a play (I love theater and I love writing.) Hell, I think I’d be happier joining the Peace Corps or going to the Kalahari Desert to volunteer with the meerkat study project for a year. I’m not ready for grad school- but I feel like I HAVE TO do it.

But that’s the thing. I try so hard to get my mom to approve of my decisions for just ONCE in her life. But even when I do exactly what she wants it doesn’t happen. She wanted me to do the science stuff to begin with- but when I tell her there’s a couple of MPH programs down in NYC, I would just need to finally get my driver’s license and a car, she starts making me defend my decision. She asks all these questions that make it sound like I’m some kind of idiot for wanting to get a Master’s degree. And maybe I fucking am, but not for the reason she thinks.

I told her I was going to learn the violin and her reaction was to get mad that I asked if I could practice it in the apartment during my visit home. When it looked like I was going to get to study abroad in London, before COVID, she made it all about her and her letting go issues.

When I graduated with my Associate’s degree- I’m the only one in the immediate family to do so, by the way- my mom cried before my graduation. Because she was devastated it wasn’t my sister.

And I honestly don’t know why I still even try. I know she has four kids but only cares about one. She will NEVER care about me or actually be proud of me. Not if I get a Master’s degree, not if I become a doctor, not if I became a tapdancing polyglot brain surgeon who cures cancer on the moon. She isn’t capable of it. On top of that, she has no grasp on who I actually am as a person.

She has a twisted and distorted view of me where I am a manifestation of all the things she fears are true of herself. All the things she doesn’t want to be, she projects onto me. She calls me hateful and judgmental and mean because I tell her not to call me when she’s been drinking. One single, solitary boundary I request and that’s too much for her. She was jealous of me as an INFANT because my dad doted on me. You have no idea how many times she’s been in the middle of a bender and accused me and my dad of literal incest because we’re close. “You’re his second wife” “there’s some Mormon shit going on between you two!” She doesn’t know the first thing about me. She told all my relatives that I only was in the orchestra as a teen because I wanted to be like my sister, not because I actually liked to play.

I do not admire a single thing about my fucking sister. This is the same sister who conspired with my first boyfriend and got him to sexually abuse me. The same sister who got high on meth and fucking raped our little brother. The same sister who told me about this while she was blackout drunk, then licked my neck. The same sister whose behavior I told to my mom and got a response of “well to be fair I’ve fantasized about your neck too!” Oh but see, if my mom was to be believed, my fucking sister never did anything to hurt my little brother, no sir. He made it up for attention, and I “planted lies in his head because I wanted to prove an agenda about men being able to be raped by women.” Because she thinks I’m so evil I would use my little brother as a pawn for a social experiment just to hurt my sister.

I don’t admire anything about my sister. I barely even fucking feel sorry that she fell into sex trafficking and had the same thing done to her that she did to my little brother. I should be upset about it, but I just feel apathetic, especially since she got to see her abuser put behind bars while my little brother is still dragged out to visit her every time my folks (who he still lives with as an adult) decide to see her. She’s a shitty person. The world will be a better place when she fucking dies. She convinces everyone she meets that she’s a wonderful person because she tells them what a long journey she’s been on and how she’s working so hard to heal through her faith (conveniently leaving out the part where she victimized others as much as she was a victim herself). Bitch, you don’t get a cookie because you fucking went five years without sexually abusing your younger siblings. Jesus isn’t fucking proud of you. I’m certainly not.

But of course, since she’s the one my mom favors, she can do no wrong. My mom is no better than her in my eyes.

So that brings it back to, why the FUCK do I want her approval?

Why the fuck do I care?

She certainly doesn’t care about me. If all the above shit isn’t proof, the fact that she got drunk when I was 15 and said she wished she could kill me is. The fact that she gave me PTSD from all the shit she put me through is proof. The fact that she made me coming out as a lesbian all about her is proof. The fact that she would go on a hateful rant about trans people- even though she doesn’t know I am, she knows I care deeply about the issues which should be enough but some isn’t- is proof. The fact that she honestly can NOT remember what my birthday is and has to be reminded by my dad is proof. The fact that she once called me a bitch on my birthday, which she forgot was my birthday until my little brother reminded her, is proof. The fact that she tried to tear my dad and I apart because she was too insecure to handle my dad “choosing his kids over her” is proof. The fact that she put me in the position of having to let her scream and throw things at me to protect my younger brother, because the alternative was letting her hurt him instead, is proof. The fact that I self-harmed for nearly a decade because of her and only got clean when I moved 3,000 miles away (what a coincidence!) is proof.

She’s fucking sick and is never going to be anything approaching a good mother to me because she doesn’t see me as me, she just makes me the lightning rod for her anger whenever she gets pissed off. When she’s pissed off, I’m an emotional punching bag, and when she’s hurting I’m a substitute therapist who will do all the emotional heavy lifting for her because she fucking knows how to use my compassion and guilt complex against me.

She has reasons, in her head, for why I’m so awful and deserving of her anger, which it took me years to learn weren’t actually excuses because I was a CHILD and she had no right to hold shit against me. And I know the truth is that she’s never proud of me because she doesn’t actually want my success- especially not when my sister doesn’t have it. She treats me the best, the nicest, when I fail, because that’s what she wants for me, even if she pretends otherwise. She’s sick and she’s so determined to play victim for her whole fucking life that she will never NOT be sick this way.

And I’m even sicker than she is because I still try after all these years. The real definition of insanity is repeating the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. I just keep getting my hopes up that one day, I will say the magic words that will make her actually be supportive. Like if I get a magical piece of paper to show her she’ll think I’m actually worth something, but she never will and I’m an idiot for hoping. If she hasn’t got it by now, she never will. My dad loves me for me, my brothers loves me for me, my grandma loves me for me, my aunts and uncles and cousins love me for me, my friends love me for me- it’s just my mom who can’t figure out that I’m worth more than what I can do for her.

Fuck her. I’m either going to go to grad school or I’m not, but whatever I do will be awesome. I might act or play the violin or write plays or I might study ethnomusicology, or who knows, maybe I will go through with this public health stuff. Either way I’ll be surrounded with people who actually see me for me and are capable of feeling joy at my accomplishments. Maybe I’ll stupidly keep trying to include her, but I’ll have others around me when she inevitably disappoints me yet again. And she can’t say the same because she drives everyone who might care about her away.