#when I say I’m obsessed with some fanfic I’m not kidding

[delizbin]

Personal take but totally inspired by the ff Fine Line by the amazing @firstdragonlady

[definitelynotstable]

Feverish [Ghost x fem!Reader]

AN: Hey sexies! I haven’t used Tumblr since I was like 13 (which was a while ago) and I haven’t written fanfic in a while either. I find it hard to like things without them consuming me and the current addiction is CoD. It started with CoD mobile - me and the flatties play each night and then I rediscovered Modern Warfare and realised MW2 existed. Instantly obsessed. Why are they all so fine???????? Anyway. I haven’t written creatively since like high-school so I’m rusty and there is lots I don’t know. Go easy on me babes x

Synopsis: "Holy shit, you're burning up!" – reader is sick, Ghost is worried. Word count: 1.7k Ghost x reader (callsign “Rags” don’t ask why) not proof-read i have adhd babes x

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5am just wasn’t the ideal wake-up time. Something you should’ve thought about before joining the military. Something you definitely should’ve taken into account when accepting a position in such an esteemed taskforce. The 141 rarely took breaks. When you weren’t on active duty you were at base training. Price was a stern but fair Captain. His drills were consistent and hard, pushing you all to your limits but still allowing you to grow as a team.

But Price wasn’t in charge of training today. Nor had he been for the last week. Away on some need-to-know mission he had left his lieutenant in charge. Simon “Ghost” Riley. Less consistent, far more stern but just as fair as the Captain - Ghost’s drills were significantly more difficult.

You stretched carefully, rotating your neck from side to side and sighing as it clicked. You could hear voices down the hall and the distant rumble of the kettle. Soap and Gaz no doubt. Now fully dressed you pulled on your boots and shuffled down the hall.

“Morning boys.” You yawned, pulling out a chair and slumping to lean against your crossed arms on the table.

“Morning, Rags,” Gaz echoed back to you, Soap grunting in acknowledgment as he poured his coffee.

“Any clue what the LT has in store for us today?” You ask, watching as Soap fiddled with the french-press.

He huffed as he settled into the chair across from you, nursing a mug between his scarred hands. “Somethin’ horrid, nae doubt, he’s been in a bad mood since Price took his leave.”

“I’ll say,” Gaz scoffed tipping the dregs from Soap’s press into his mug and heaping in sugar, “can barely feel my arms after yesterdays drill.”

You groaned rubbing your eyes, “yeah, I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck.”

“I don’t recall there being any trucks involved in the drill yesterday - but that can be arranged.”

The bored voice drawled from the doorway, Lieutenant Ghost himself stood, legs shoulder width apart, arms folded across his broad chest. The man took up the entire goddamned doorframe.

Resisting the urge to stand at attention you cracked a sheepish smile. The 141 weren’t one for formalities.

‘Morning LT,” Gaz took the words out of your mouth from where he leaned against the sink, “got more pain in store for us today?”

“If you though yesterday was painful, sergeant, you’ve got a big storm coming.” Ghost turned go head out. “Gym in 10.”

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He wasn’t kidding. Today was worse. The lieutenant had designed a circuit so difficult even Gaz was complaining - something usually only Soap had the gall to do. God you were tired. You hadn’t struggled this hard to complete a drill since basic training as an unfit and unmotivated 18 year old. “Pick it up Sergeant!” Ghost barked from across the room as the battle ropes slipped form your sweaty hands. You grit your teeth and did as asked, only two minutes to go.

“Fuck!” You swore under your breath as the rope thunked against the floor, leaving your grasp again. You quickly squatted to pick it up, hoping the Lieutenant hadn’t noticed. You flinched as his stern voice echoed through the gym but it was Soap on the receiving end, the man smirking as Ghost yelled at him to keep form.

You turned your focus back to the ropes, planting your more firmly as you noticed your form starting to waver. God you felt like you were about the keel over.

“Pick up the pace Sergeant!” The voice came from your left, flinching to hear the Lieutenant so close. Feeling worse by the second you did as you were told, pushing every last inch of energy into the ropes in front of you.

He’ll be gone soon, you told yourself, He’ll move on to yell at Gaz and I can slow my pace.

But the hulking figure in your periphery remained and you found your resolve wavering. Without warning the world tilted dramatically and your cheek was bouncing off the sweat covered foam on the floor. The distant clanking of weights came to a stop and impeccably polished and shined boots filled your vision. Ghost.

“Rags!” Gaz thumped to his knees beside you, yanking you into a sitting position. His worried face swimming in your vision.

“Settle down, Gaz,” Soap spoke as he pulled him back and someone else came to kneel in front of you. A water bottle was pushed into your hands and a cool but rough hand landed gently on your forehead.

“Christ you’re burning up!” The lieutenant rarely swore outside of the field, you must be on fire.

“Yeah no shit,” Water dribbled down your chin as you took a swig of water, “that was a tough drill LT.”

Soap coughed out a laugh from where he stood behind Ghost, "Aye, I reckon he's sayin' ye've got a fever, lass.”

You scoffed, batting back the lieutenants hand, “I think I would know if I had a fever, I just need a rest.”

“Your dripping in sweat,” Ghost retorted cooly.

“We were just working out.“

“You fell over -“

-“It happens-“

‘Not to you.” The lieutenants voice was firm. “Not to us. We are special forces military - we don’t just ‘fall over’.”

There was no room for argument in his tone, you knew he was right. Leaning forward, Ghost looped his arms under yours and pulled you firmly to your feet. You wavered slightly, his grip on you the only thing keeping you standing.

“You need rest.”

Gaz popped into view, eager, “I can take her back too her room, LT!”

Ghost swung his gaze over the young sergeant who shrank back immediately, “if you thought this was the end of training for today, you’re wrong. You and Soap still have a minute left. I want you halfway through the next set once I’m back.”

Laughing Soap clapped Gaz on the back, “Come on lad. Let the LT look after Rags, we don’t give up so easily.”

You scoff, “Rude.”

“Get well soon, Lass,” Soap winked, pulling Gaz back to his station as Ghost led you out of the gym.

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“You really don’t need to lead me to back to my room, I know the way.”

“We aren’t going to your room,” Ghost grunted, his hand hovering behind your shoulder blades as you wavered.

You looked up, frowning as you locked eyes with him. “I don’t need to go to the infirmary, LT. I just need a nap.”

The man shrugged, gently pushing you forward. “We have free healthcare, may as well use it.”

“God you’re relentless,” you muttered, missing how his eyes crinkled through the mask.

“To a fault, sergeant.”

The nurse in the infirmary whistled as she read your temp.

“Good thing you brought her here, Lieutenant,” she turned to you with her hands on her hips, ‘you’re dehydrated, hun. I’m keeping you here overnight or until your fever breaks.”

“Really? I can never sleep in here, it’s too bright.” You felt like a child under the stern stares of the nurse and Ghost who stood beside her, arms crossed.

“We can dim the lights if you’d like, sergeant,” the nurse offered, bustling around while she prepped an IV, “but you’re staying here until I say.”

You sank lower in the bed, letting your chin fall against your chest.

“I usually sleep with an eye-mask.” You mumble, embarrassed.

“What was that, hun?”

Ghost steps closer with a single nod, “speak up sergeant.”

You cleared your throat, feeling silly. “I usually wear an eye-mask.”

“I’m sure we can figure something out,” the nurse smiled, pulling your arm to the side, “small pinch.”

You sucked in a breath as the needle slid home.

“Where is it?”

You looked up, surprised the lieutenant was still there. “Where’s what?”

“Your eye mask.” Ghost responded, arms still crossed.

“Oh,” you wince slightly as the nurse hooked up the fluids to the port on your arm, “uh don’t worry about it LT, one of the boys can grab it later I’m sure.”

“I’m here now. Where is it?”

You met his eyes, surprised. “My room, either on my bedside table or in the top drawer.”

Ghost leaves with a curt nod, the curtain swishing behind him. You sigh, leaning back into the pillow behind you, praying it’s lying on top and not in the drawer that holds a variety of items you definitely don’t want your Lieutenant seeing.

By the time he returns you’re half asleep in your fever-induced delirium. The lights are dimmed but your eyes still burn. He gently lays the mask on the bed next to your arm and makes to leave.

“Thanks LT.” You say with a rasp, cracking your eyes open further.

He looks up, blue eyes meeting yours. “Though you were asleep.”

You laugh softly, “Wasn’t kidding when I said I couldn’t sleep without it.”

“Mm.” He grunts in acknowledgement. “Lieutenant?”

“Yeah?” He stops, hand on the door handle.

“Thanks for today.”

He nods sharply, not sure how to respond. “Thank me when your back in fighting shape, sergeant."

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Masterlist

[teyamsatan]

Illicit Affairs | Chapter I: Willow

Pairing: Neteyam x f!Human!Reader

Chapter II Chapter III Chapter IV Chapter V Chapter VI Chapter VII Chapter VIII Chapter IX Chapter X

Warnings: Cursing, mentions of death and disease

WC: 3,4k words

A/N: Sooo.. I kinda did something. This is the first fanfic I have written that will actually see the light of day, and also the first piece of writing (outside of master's dissertations, papers, scientific essays etc) that I have done since probably high school, which is longer ago than I'd like to admit. Anyway, I have been hyperfixated on Avatar recently, ATWOW fully bringing back my love and obsession for Pandora that I have had since 2009. I adore the new movie and the Sully kids, but I have a special place in my heart for Neteyam, so here we go. Let me know what you guys think. I work full time as a PhD student, so I'll try my best to write in my spare time and hopefully I can get this done the way I truly want to. This story is also loosely inspired by the incredible @forever--darling and her "One of Us" Neteyam fanfic, which I adore and have probably memorised by now with the amount of times I have read it.

I'm like the water when your ship rolled in that night Rough on the surface but you cut through like a knife And if it was an open-shut case I never would've known from that look on your face Lost in your current like a priceless wine

“Wake up, Ace. It’s late already and there’s so much to do today, remember?” Norm’s voice pulled you out of a beautiful dream, one where you were flying on your chosen Ikran, high above the clouds, the worries…this lab. Albeit hard to swallow, you were almost relieved to be woken up, as feeding out-of-reach fantasies and dreams could lead to no good, anyhow. 

“I’m up… Jesus, Norm.” You felt yourself rise from your warm and comfortable bed and the feeling of your bare feet touching the cold, hard floor of the living quarters of the lab made you swallow a curse. 

“We left you some breakfast, get ready and meet us in the lab in 30, okay? We have the samples ready for you and you can run them after we’ve talked it through.” 

“Aye, aye, captain.” 

This was your life. You, among a few other people, were one of the only humans left on Pandora after the war took them back to Earth more than 17 years ago. Unlike the others, though, you were born here, on this foreign planet, the only home you’ve ever known. There was one more, a beautiful, feisty young man with a dark heritage, who liked to think that he is as much Pandoran as the actual natives. His name was Spider, and although you grew up together, there was not much you could say you had in common. He was wild and adventurous, has been his whole life; fully willing to immerse himself in the Na’vi ways and almost demanding a place amongst the people.

Although you have your doubts, he says the people were accepting of him, as he managed to befriend the most important family of the nearby Omatikaya tribe: the Sullys. Jake Sully, a former dream walker, rose to prominence as Toruk Makto, rider of Last Shadow. He brought multiple clans together to defeat the Sky People in their brutal quest for wealth and colonisation. He succeeded, after which he became Olo’yektan, leader of the Omatikaya. He is now fully Na’vi, after completing a consciousness transfer that allowed him to leave behind his human form and forever live as one of the people. It had never been done before. Jake was a great man, who became a mediator between the Na’vi and the humans left on Earth. His children, Neteyam, Lo’ak, Kiri and Tuk, were brought up to know English and be accepting of everyone, regardless where they came from, as long as they had pure intentions and a strong heart. Spider was considered one of them. And, surprisingly, you were, too. 

Your mum was a medic and researcher, brought here many moons ago to assist the Dr. Grace Augustin and her team in their quest to understand Pandora and its miraculous biology. Your dad, a former Master Sergeant in the US Air Force, joined the RDA for their military purposes. You never met your dad. He died when the Sky People attacked, although no one knows for sure which side he ended up taking. Your mum didn’t even know she was pregnant with you at the time, that’s how new everything was. Your mum loved your dad and she maintained her belief that he ended up doing the right thing in the end. You believed that as a child, but now are not so sure. Nevertheless, you still kept his dog tag, in a drawer at the bottom of your desk, a reminder of where you come from and what mistakes not to repeat. 

Your mum died where you were 10. It was the worst day of your life. The cancer, which slowly spread in the beginning, overtook her being one faithful day, which you will never be able to erase from your memory. There is no chemotherapy, no radiation therapy, no drugs that could have prevented this, not here, not on Pandora. Your mum made a decision to remain on this planet she loved more than her own and it eventually killed her. She had no regrets, she said. She was happy to have lived and loved and died here, among Eywa. The Na’vi loved her. She was good friends and a mentor to Neytiri and Jake, both of whom agreed to give her a Na’vi send off. You were there that day, one of the few times you had visited the Home Tree. You remember the pouring rain, falling so hard it washed away the tears spilling from your eye almost as soon as they emerged. You remember Lo’ak and Kiri, your beautiful friends that have always been there for you, mourning with you. Your mum was their favourite aunt. She introduced them to music and films, and showed all of you her favourite books and painters and made sure you all understood that humans, despite their many flaws, have beauty and love and good in them, that no matter what, will prevail. “It will prevail because of you. Because you will carry it along and share it. You will revel in the beauty and fight to bring it back because what better way is there to live?”

You finished breakfast quickly, some dry toast with some fruit Kiri brought you the last time she visited and made your way back to the lab. You found Norm and Max, alongside two other human scientists, Tim and Claire, sitting on chairs next to the lab benches, discussing plans for the week. 

“There she is, the brightest of us all.” You smirked at the compliment, raising your eyebrows in amusement and sitting down next to Claire. 

“You’ve done great work last week, Ace The ELISAs show promise that Relensa might have some effect against this type of Pandora virus. I need you to now repeat it with the samples we’ve provided and also include a different type of positive control to the experiment, if possible.”

“Will do. How about a combination therapy? I know Relensa is not the only type of anti-viral therapy we have available. Amantidin, maybe? We have to go at this from all angles, you know?” 

“Our Amantidin reserve is running severely short, but give it a try. Try a dose-response? Maybe 100 nano molars to 1 micro molar? Try 1milimolar as a positive control?”

This was your life. Unlike Spider, you avoided the clan. You did not want to be the walking reminder of everything they’ve lost. You were happy to sit back and dedicate your life to helping from the shadows. Your mum was a medic and a researcher, one of the brightest in the world. She wrote the book on Na’vi anatomy and physiology, she wanted to understand the people and hopefully help them mitigate losses brought by disease. You continued that work. Although young, you learned everything there was to learn. Not like you had anything else to do. You worked as a scientist and a nurse and a doctor if needs be. You patched humans up, stitched their wounds, ran experiments on Pandora pathogens and tried to find a cure against viral and bacterial diseases that plagued the Na’vi. You spent your life in the lab, and in the adjacent hub, learning, working out and playing the guitar and piano your mum taught you when you were really young. You couldn’t say you loved it, loved being here all the time, but you were content knowing you were, in your own way, making up for your species’ past mistakes. 

Around lunchtime, you heard commotion from the entryway. A very familiar voice reverberated through the hallways. Your lips raised in a soft smile. Lo’ak. 

Removing your lab coat, goggles and gloves, you made your way towards the origin of the sound. The tall, much-taller-than-you young man picked up a breathing mask from the designated shelf and waved at you with unwavering enthusiasm. You loved this boy. Your brother, for all intents and purposes, your partner-in-crime for all time. He loved you, too, you knew that, and you thought in a different life, in a different universe, you were soulmates, braving life’s tough storms together. 

“Brought you lunch, angel.” Your nickname for you made you roll your eyes. You hated it, but the more you hated it, the more he used it so you remained silent. “I thought you could use a break from the stale excuse you guys call food around here.” 

Lo’ak spoke English with you most of the time. He took to your parents’ (and his dad’s) culture the most out of all the kids. You spent a lot of your childhood together, hunched around a computer with old reruns of shows your mum loved in her youth, shows and movies that were way before even her time. She said she loved seeing what Earth looked like before humans killed their mother. Shows like Gilmore Girls, Friends and Modern Family were some of her favourites. You devoured them as a child, and Lo’ak did so too, with you. You drove her crazy as children, and drove Norm and Max crazy as teenagers, both trying to understand references and sayings, buildings and activities, games and idiosyncrasies. The Earth you grew up watching and reading up was beautiful, a star in the night sky you will never be able to touch. 

Lo’ak made his way to the dining room of the hub, and lay several carefully-packed items on the table. Fresh teylu, cooked over fire and Pandora vegetables, all full of colour and flavour, all much better than anything that could come out of this place. You realise that you are starving as soon as you lay your eyes on them. Before you even sat down, you dug your fingers in and quickly ate some teylu, groaning at the delicious sweet meaty flavour. It was your favourite, and Lo’ak knew. He laughed at your apparent desperation and motioned for you to sit down. You obliged, and you both sat in silence for a while, just enjoying each other’s company and the food he provided. 

“How’s training going? I haven’t seen you in a few days.” 

“I die a little bit inside every time you make me remember I spend my days training like a little robot. It’s going fine. Tiring, you know? My dad is fully back in his Marine ways. He knows it’s been enough time that the humans are bound to return sooner or later. He says they’d never leave this world, and all its untapped riches alone without a fight. So it’s a lot of military training… if we walk like them, talk like them and fight like them, it might bring us some sort of advantage, you know?” 

“Yeah, I know. I know it’s a pain, but he’s only doing this to protect you guys. He’s right. The humans are bound to return one day and when they do, we have to be prepared.” He doesn’t know this, but you have also been training, learning about guns, going through your dad’s old manuals and whatever else the RDA has left behind that could possibly be of use. You use the guns that are in the hub to learn how to aim, shoot, strip field, reload and clean the weapons, so you too can be prepared when the time comes. You might be stuck in a weak human body, but you will not be weak. 

“Neteyam’s driving me nuts. He used to be fun, remember that? He’s such a killjoy, it’s hard to stomach being around him anymore. He’s always giving out orders, always making sure everything is in order and perfect, like him. He’s been training like crazy, and sticking to my dad like he’s some sort of fungus you can’t get rid of. Drives me crazy.”

“Hey, don’t talk about your brother like that. There’s a line, Lo’ak. Neteyam only wants the best for you guys, and he’s the oldest. He has to carry the burden of being the responsible one while you guy cause mischief all the time.” 

Neteyam, Jake and Neytiri’s oldest, is more Na’vi than all the other children combined, in both looks and personality. Whilst the two middle children, Lo’ak and Kiri have five fingers, eyebrows and a more human appearance, Neteyam is all Neytiri. He’s tall and lean and seems like he was born with a bow in hand. A true warrior, you always found him a tad intimidating. Just like his mum, he has his apprehensions about humans and avatars, and although he used to come to the hub quite often when he was younger, mostly to keep an eye on his siblings, the visits have become a rarity as of recent times. 

You wonder how the young man changed in the time you haven’t seen him. You used to be close as children, or at least that’s what you thought. Whereas Spider took to Lo’ak and Kiri, their mischievous personalities a good match for each other, you took to the oldest Sully boy. He was quiet and thoughtful, and he used to look at you like a puzzle he was trying to solve, but couldn’t. He used to sit in the back as you used to play piano, and his gaze on you used to make your skin blush and your heart race. You tried not to think about the pang of hurt that rose in your chest as you remembered that he essentially abandoned you, without so much as a farewell. 

“Earth to Y/N, are you still there?” Lo’ak interrupted your train of thought and you were half grateful that you didn’t have to think about Neteyam anymore. 

“Sorry. You were saying?”

“I was saying you’re right, I know I should be more understanding, I am happy I don’t have to be the one to carry all of responsibility, but it’s hard not to hold a grudge when it seems my brother was abducted by aliens and replaced with a weird, no-fun replica of himself.” 

You groaned at the young Sully’s ongoing verbal attacks, but said no more. Whatever was going on between the two Sully boys was, at the end of the day, none of your business. 

“Anyway…” Lo’ak started, a mischievous grin appearing on his beautiful face, “I know something you don’t.” 

“Mmm, what is that?”

“I’m not telling you, but let’s just say I think it will make you very happy.” 

“Well that’s just cruel. You know I hate surprises.”

After lunch, Lo’ak joined you in the recreation hub, where you kept a guitar and the piano that the humans left behind. You didn’t feel like going back to work just yet. You sat down on the cold floor and picked up your copy of Pride and Prejudice, your mum’s favourite book. The book was coming apart at the seams, worn down from all the times you have held it in your hands, as if gripping it tighter would bring her back to you, even if for only a split second. You sighed as you passed the book to Lo’ak and motioned for him to put it on the table next to him.

“Sing for me, will you? I missed hearing your voice.” 

You smiled up at him. Nobody knew you like Lo’ak did. Nobody accepted you the way Lo’ak did. Both of you felt out of place in this world, like you didn’t quite belong anywhere. He has spent many an hour confessing how alone he’s felt all his life. You’d like to think you helped. You picked up your guitar and played a familiar song, one you knew he loved.

“Life was a willow and it bent right to your wind , as if you were a mythical thing

Like you were a trophy or a champion ring, and there was one prize I'd cheat to win

The more that you say, the less I know

Wherever you stray, I follow

I'm begging for you to take my hand, wreck my plans

That's my man”

You sat like this for hours, laughing and playing and singing. You tried to teach him a couple of chords on the guitar, which looked puny in his massive hands. With a loud thud, the open to the recreation centre swung open, making both of your heads turn in shock. 

“Lo’ak, what the fuck?” 

The harsh tone came from a man, a man you barely recognised anymore. Tall and muscular, he was not the same Neteyam you last saw. He was adorning a carefully crafted neck piece that matched his hunter’s chest piece and the knife holder he kept by his hips. You took a second to adjust to the man in front of you, that you haven’t seen in so long, that will always have a special place in your heart. Your gaze eventually fell on his face, which, like the rest of him, matured so much in all that time apart. He was beautiful. His hair was freshly braided and you couldn’t help but stare at the beaded strands that framed his face. As much as his body and face changed, they didn’t hold a candle to his eyes. The big yellow orbs that always looked at you curiously and intently were now focused on Lo’ak with rage flashed across them. 

“You were supposed to meet me at the Home Tree a fucking hour ago, Lo’ak. Dad asked you to join the hunting party and pull your weight for once, remember that? Are you physically unable to do anything that is ever asked of you?” 

He is yet to even spare a glance in your direction. You felt your blood pressure rising at the oldest Sully, but you pushed it down to look at Lo’ak, who was staring daggers at his older brother. As he was opening his mouth to undoubtedly say something that would get him in even more trouble than he was already in, you cut him off. 

“It’s my fault.” You say in Na’vi. You doubted Neteyam was in the mood for English, so as to not escalate the tensions further, you opted for your semi-decent Na’vi. “I needed his help with some samples Norm got for me that I couldn’t identify. I’m done now, though. Sorry for taking him from his duties.”

His eyes finally snapped from Lo’ak and laded on your frame. You saw his lips parting in confusion and then settle in a firm line. His eyes scanned your body from head to toe. You changed. A lot. Your hair was now close to reaching your narrow waist, which he hated himself for noticing. You were wearing what the humans called a “top”, that was cut above your abdomen and had the word “Stanford” written across it. He’s sure he’s seen it before, although he couldn’t place where. You were wearing bottoms, short and blue, with cuts in them, which Neteyam didn’t get. Why are your clothes ripped? It’s not like you fought some animal in the wild, you never got out. He couldn’t help noticing how lean you had become, so lean, in fact, he could trace your muscles with precision, something he is rarely able to do with humans. Your species was puny and weak, which is why they needed avatars and exo-suits to survive on Pandora. Realizing he was staring, his eyes moved from you back to Lo’ak, and motioned for him to get up. Although he huffed and puffed, Lo’ak obliged without saying a word. He turned around before exiting the room, giving you one last exasperated look. You winked at him and clicked your tongue in the direction of the forest, a small smile on your face. This skxawng. 

“Hey, you.” You called after Neteyam in English, as soon as Lo’ak disappeared from your line of view. You don’t know what you expected, but you had to try. He turned around and his eyes met yours. It was like looking at a stranger. 

“I really have to go, Y/N.” He said, with a deep voice and slight accent, and his eyes fell on the floor as soon as he noticed the look of hurt that crossed your face. 

“Fine, go.” You said, quickly composing yourself. You refused to give him the satisfaction of knowing he can hurt your feelings. You turned around, and busied yourself cleaning up, not sparing a second look in his direction. His gaze shifted back to your frame, and with a sigh, he made his way out of the lab and your life, once more. 

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for posting graphic writing online? No TWs for this, I don’t actually talk in detail about anything graphic in this ask (which I realise is probably counterproductive but anyway.)

I really need some advice and I don’t know where else to turn. I don’t know if this is exactly relevant to this blog, but I really don’t know who else to ask.

I love writing. Fanfic, original work, anything. I’ve always been engaged in online spaces for writing. I’m currently working on some new writing I want to post in these online spaces, like on wattpad and quotev.

My problem is I love horror, i’m obsessed with it, and it makes my way, very prevalently, into all of my writing. Even worse, I’m a good writer, and when I want to be graphic, I do it pretty fucking well. I’m not trying to brag, it’s a real issue because the spaces I plan to upload are pretty notorious for having some shoddy writing, and I’m worried (perhaps erroneously) when I say “this work is graphic” readers will associate that with “graphic” works they’ve read before on the same site, but that my own work will turn it up to 11 and they’ll be unprepared for it. Even worse because these sites are pretty famous for having child users, even when they probably shouldn’t be using them.

I would be posting this writing online with all the apt warnings I could possibly use. I really want to share and add to the communities online that helped encourage my own love of writing. But I worry that I’ll be exposing it to the wrong audience, and I’ll be exposing children to some graphic, disturbing stuff. Of course, I would be tagging everything as mature, but I know how kids are online (I was one) and I know that warnings like that do Jack shit.

Is that really my responsibility? Would I be the asshole for uploading my works? I haven’t uploaded anything yet. I feel guilty about this, but I don’t know if i would be in the wrong, or if this is even something to be worried about at all. Other authors don’t seem to have any worries about publishing graphic works, so maybe I’m just being over cautious?

I also find this all pretty embarrassing (peep the anonymous submission) and don’t have anyone to talk to about this in real life, so I have no real guidelines if what I write is “too graphic” or if it’s really not that graphic at all and i’m thinking too highly of my own prose.

I would really appreciate some advice/feedback. Thank you!

What are these acronyms?

[hoshiumi78]

I’m gonna make a little happy “rant” here about Lloyd from Ninjago and just the cartoon in general.

I’ve always liked Lloyd. Ever since I was a kid, he was the one who I favorited over the others. Sure, Kai is awesome, Cole is super inspiring, Nya is an absolute baddie, Jay is funny, Zane is real cool, Pixal is an amazing robot girlfriend and samurai, Skylor is such a cool and strong female character to look up to, and etc. (Dareth, Nelson, Sensei Wu, Garmadon, Morro, Cyrus Borg…)

And yeah, a lot of people “like Lloyd” because he’s the “Green Ninja” or he’s “super cool”, but for me… that’s not it (I mean, a bit of it is, hehe. But not all of it). And as I become older in my teenage years, I’ve honestly been thinking about it a lot. I’ve been thinking about why I like this Lego character so much, and why this is the only “children’s” show I actually fan over where I can watch the show over and over throughout the years, write fanfics for hours on it, and spend my money on the sets and merch…

***Now I should probably say before I start, I’m not some crazy obsessive fan lmao. I just really like this character and show, and I want to shine some light on Lloyd (differently than he already receives, of course lol).***

Lloyd has been through a lot, yet he still came out as stable as he is (at least as much as the cartoon shows to the audience). One thing about Ninjago I like is how they make the characters realistic. I didn’t particularly realize this until I got older and I re-watched it, but all Ninja have a unique story before, during, or after they became Ninja. Though one thing that differs Lloyd from the rest is how young he was when he clearly knew his situation with his father, mother, “Ninja-acknowledgement”, family, etc. And I know what a lot of people are going to say, “But what about Kai and Nya? Cole? Possibly Skylor?” And I know, I agree. Unfortunately, all the ninja had to grow up with something traumatic in their childhood (the only one who didn’t was Jay; though later he had to find out he was adopted, which stinks finding out the way he did. I’m just glad Ed & Edna were as amazing as they were <3). The one thing that all the rest of the ninja have besides Lloyd within these situations, is they all still had *someone*. Kai had Nya, Nya had Kai. Cole still had his father, even under the circumstances. Skylor still had her father and etc with the rest. Lloyd had *no one* as a kid, and it makes me want to give his little baby-self in seasons 1-2 a massive hug.

I remember when I watched seasons 1-7 (especially 1-2) as a middle schooler, I thought little and early-teen Lloyd was so annoying (still do). But now, years later, it makes me really sad to think about his story. He’s the only ninja who had received *no* love from his parents or anyone around him until he met the ninja, and even then he later had to learn what *that* meant and how to have self-love… which he still has trouble doing a lot of the time throughout all the seasons. It makes me want to give him an even bigger hug!

And one thing about Lloyd I truly admire, is even through all of this crap, he *still* cares about his mother and forgives her so easily! The way his mother abandoned him as a child I completely disagree with, and how she just left him saying she was doing it for “him” (even though it *really* was for herself), and yet he STILL treats her kindly and respectfully, which is amazing of him. Now I’m not saying you shouldn’t forgive, it’s just how he accepted it like a champ is something that is completely admirable. Especially with how young he really was…. You have to remember Lloyd was only around 10-ish years old around seasons 1-2, yet he was able to accept his mother with opened arms. And sure, he probably was only doing this because he was attention-starved (explains why he wanted to become like his father as a kid), emotionally-starved, and starved for love, yet still as he got older and probably realized this more and more about his mother and their relationship, he still has *always* treated her with respect and kindness. And sure, people within this fandom get mad at how bitty Lloyd acted, yet we also have to remember how he was raised, which really wasn’t being “raised” at all.

Then we go into Garmadon and Lloyd’s relationship, which is a whole other can of worms. Yet unlike Misako, Lloyd’s mother, as a fan I 100% respect Garmadon as a parental figure than I ever will for her. Sure, he’s the biggest and baddest villain throughout the series. And sure, he too abandoned his son; yet unlike Lloyd’s mother, Garmadon made *up* for that time lost, and personally, I give him my upmost respect for that. He gave his son what he was lacking in receiving from his parents, and actually *cared* enough to do that for Lloyd. He showed his son what if felt like to actually be loved by your parent (in his own ways of course), he gave his son attention, and he showed what it was like to have an emotional connection with your child. GARMADON ACTUALLY SOMEWHAT HAD A REASON TO ACT THE WAY HE DID, HE WAS BITTEN BY A SNAKE THAT MESSED HIM UP FOR LIFE, YET UNLIKE MISAKO HE *STILL* TREATED LLOYD MORE AMAZING THAN SHE EVER COULD. Yet instead, throughout the 5 most healthy seasons of Garmadon and Lloyd’s relationship, especially seasons (3-5), SHE DIDN’T EVEN PUT IN THE EFFORT TO MAKE THIS A FAMILY RELATIONSHIP! Instead, she was hanging with Wu, Lloyd’s uncle. And I know for a fact we *all* know something’s going on there, which as a kid I even noticed, and I absolutely hated even then!!! Misako would pop in like everything was fine and dandy every-so-often, and yet Lloyd STILL treated her amazingly!!! That’s why Lloyd is my favorite! No matter what anyone does to him, says to him, or how he is treated, he still cares for them! He still wants them to have a happy ending, and he hasn’t even had his yet. It makes me really happy that he had the opportunity to meet the ninja, because without them as the loving family they are, I don’t think he would *at all* be the same kind-hearted character he is. The real loving people in his life are the team, and even though this is all fake and just a “silly” cartoon as some would call it, I’m GLAD he was given such a loving atmosphere.

Then we go into Seasons 8-16. Lloyd grew up, finally caught up mentally to his body (which I found terrible that he had to go thru that, yet he STILL acted like a champ when there were no expectations to!!!) and this is where I like his character even more. Still, even through all the darkness and pain he had to go through growing up (it gets worse as he gets closer to adult-hood), he still acts amazing! His father now isn’t his real father anymore, his mother is completely gone into oblivion (gone like she always has been, pfft), and he falls in love with someone who manipulates him because she herself is broken! (And yes, I probably should say now that I do ship Llorumi. Some of you may think I’m crazy, which I am lol, but I also have my reasons for supporting it, and I will most likely (someday) make a post like this explaining why I do, but right now we’re focusing on Lloyd. ;)) Yet Lloyd *still* forgives, accepts, and loves!!! After years of thinking about and watching this show, I’ve finally narrowed it down to those three attributes within him that I’ve seen consistently throughout the series. I believe we should all look up to Lloyd for this! Just being able to forgive and love the same people who had hurt and abused him, is truly a wonderful thing a person can achieve!

Plus, Lloyd is also funny, entertaining, and would be an amazing person if he were to be real. Sure, he has his own stuff he stores deep inside of himself, and he probably jokes as much as he does because he’s trying to make everything look okay, but ya know what? That is some amazing writing right there! Being able to make a LEGO “CHILDREN’S” show entertaining for kids to watch, but it also is able to make the older audiences feel recognized and noticed in attributes and personalities within some Lego Ninja? That’s some crazy awesome writing! It truly shows how if the right minds are put together, a show for “kids” can turn out to be fun and *emotional* for us older audiences to watch because we see these characters within ourselves.

So there it is, my rant as to why I do really love Lloyd as a character and not just some “Lego Ninja.” There’s some others, I mean his personality in-show and mine irl match up pretty well, so there’s that lol. I also like how he sits and listens to your problems and gives advice. He honestly is ✨the man✨ But there’s also multiple other things I didn’t even get around to mentioning in here that I like about his character too! There’s so much to unpack it feels within these characters. It’s almost as if this show *isn’t* for kids anymore, and it’s growing along with the viewers, yet still pertains to the “children” mindset.

Anyways, I’ve already spent two hours of my life writing this, so I’ll stop haha. But if you made it this far, feel free to comment and tell me your thoughts. I’d love to know. :)

P.S. HoW iS LlOyD, a PlAsTiC LiTtLe LeGo So GoOd LoOkInG <3333

[stupd000]

Guess who’s obsessed with redacted audios again(david) !!

Here are some early David Hcs bc i’m obsessed w him like i need to be euthanized. anyway this is rlly unorganized but yk anyway read it please i love you bye

-This bitch is so fucking clingy

-Acts like he hates being kissed on his cheek and the tip of his nose(both are antics that angel does frequently) but he loves it em like if angel stopped he would literally break down

-has a lisp

-cannot, and i mean CANNOT draw for the life of him

-When he was little little kid he was like a kid who was rlly gross and snotty and had to have his dad wipe his nose every minute

-this one’s weird but loves having your hand on his stomach(??) like it’s such a huge comfort to him nobody knows why

-Ok time for a fanfic 🙏

-David walked through the door, exhausted from needy costumers and whiny pack subordinates.

-“Hi davey!”

-Angel exclaims from over the couch, hopping up to go give him a hug

-“Hi angel.”

-David mumbles, wrapping his arms around angels waist and buries his face in their neck

-Almost immediately, angel realizes somethings wrong. They put a hand in his hair and whisper into his ear

-“Bad day..?”

-David nods and shuts his eyes tightly

-The two stand there together for a moment, Angel slowly swaying back in forth before David breaks the silence

-“Angel..?”

-“Yeah Davey?”

-“Can I ask you something..weird?”

-This almost..surprised angel slightly

-“Yeah baby..?”

-“If I were to um..shift-“

-Angels eyes widen but quickly go back to there regular state, not exactly expecting what he was going to say next

-“-would you just..stay with me?”

-“Of course baby..You don’t have to ask for that.”

-David smiles before stepping back from the hug and going into there room, he gets undressed and shifts. David walks out of the room and jumps onto the couch, curling up into a ball and closing his eyes.

-Angel smiles softly, walking over to the couch and putting a hand on top of his head, scratching behind his ears slightly

-David whines slightly, but quickly relaxes after. He leans into their hand

-“I love you Davey..”

-Angel curls up next to him, kissing on top of his head.

-Okay im done bye

[yutaholic]

Thank you for even making that post because I honestly feel like I’m going to explode!! Championing every issue is EXHAUSTING. I have such empathy fatigue. Bombardment of “rules”, behavioral guidelines, services, companies, networks + food brands & PEOPLE to boycott ALL THE TIME. Fandom is space many of us come to unplug from reality…it’s certainly my hyperfixation & ppl be like “well then get another one because you shouldn’t support–” IT DOESN’T WORK LIKE THAT. Fuck. I can’t take it anymore. Calls to action being in EVERY single place have weakened my mental state even more than it was before which was already on “pending disability” level of severe & now I’m just. burned t-absolute-f out….at everything!! I can literally FEEL myself unraveling. Kpop stans & their toxic activism can go to hell. They’re so worried about making sure to condemn others for “not doing enough” or being bad people, that they don’t even realize their actions are making them into bad people. This shit takes a toll on mental health, there is science behind this, it is real and what happens to human beings when inundated with constant terrible news, and it’s not just being ~too privileged to care~ but these performative mfs have no concept of blacklisting anymore and just want to assume the absolute worst about someone, call them names & wish harm on folks who are at the end of their ropes! It’s maddening! So even if compassion fatigue isn’t why you didn’t go out of your way to Denounce and Drag™️ him (bc you totally have the right to simply not want to do that on a fanfic blog!) I’m just glad someone else stated that this is supposed to be an ESCAPE. fuck.

Baby, burnout will fuck you up. Don't do that to yourself. Take the time you need and recoup. Life is a constant war and you can afford to lose a battle here and there to focus on your own health and well-being. Getting yourself back into a good place mentally will be a huge win. We both know the ppl obsessed with performative activism aren't doing anything from a place of compassion. The real ones are out there making change, not sending people death threats online from the comfort and safety of their mommy's basement.

When I posted the pic of NCT Dream and Big Time Rush, I wrote in the tags how BTR was something my sister and I loved and bonded over. We watched the show even though it was obviously a kids show and we were both adults. It was just something that gave us joy. My sister passed away years ago and anything BTR-related will make me teary because I think about how much we laughed together over it.

So the first thing I get are messages over how problematic BTR is, that I should delete the post or I'm pro-genocide if I don't dislike them. Ngl that made me so upset because I got a bunch of faceless people trying to taint some precious memories of me and my sister. If they came at me trying to educate me on things I didn't know that would be different, but it's straight to judgment and hatred toward me over something I posted that was totally innocent.

Meanwhile I get criticized for posting about a kpop group instead of reblogging every call to action post. I donate my money to these causes, but I don't post about it because I don't need my ass kissed for doing what I know to be right. I am 1000% sure the anons in my inbox that try to police me have never given a dime to anything, but are policing people's blogs for not reblogging posts or talking about it more.

I feel bad that I haven't been very active on here this year so I try to come on when I have some free time to interact with you guys. I make a silly post about Doyoung and get anons tearing into me for it like I'm his social media manager. Okay so because the world is going to shit we aren't allowed to enjoy anything?? Can't make jokes about anything. Can't show support for anything. Just wrong on every fucking count.

Believe me I am so goddamn aware of how lucky I am that I can sit here and say I'm very privileged that I live comfortably in the life I have. I know what's going on in the world and I do my part to help where I can, but I also have to keep functioning. I don't want every minute of my life to be seeped in anger, I did that for a long time and it not only eats away at you, it makes you ineffective in actually changing the things making you angry in the first place.

This was just supposed to be a blog where I posted my stories. One of the few places I could go and not constantly be reminded of how fucked up the world is. I've always said that people who told me reading a fic of mine made their day a little better or helped them escape for a bit were always my favorite. That was what I came here for and I loved being able to share the tiniest moments of peace and quiet with others through stories with guaranteed happy endings.

I'm frustrated because I have 4 drafts ready to go next year. I got the story posts done and made all the headers. But I don't want to post them. I have no problem admitting I'm selfish and spiteful. Even though I can turn off anon, I can't block these miserable people and I don't want them reading my stuff. They don't get to consume my content and then tell me to off myself right after.

A massive fuck you to those of you that ruined this blog for me.

[fangswbenefits]

Sorry this is long! Don’t feel the need to respond, just had to tell you how much The Arrangement means to me!

Hi, Ruby!! I wanted to reach out and tell you how much I LOVE (!!!) The Arrangement. It is so beautifully written. I can’t get enough of that slow burn that you expertly craft - the romance, the tension, the desperation.

I’m new to the fanfic world mainly because I have some fear surrounding sex that is rooted in trauma. Most smut I’ve stumbled upon is so unfriendly to women and to those who have experienced sexual abuse. I stumbled across your writing because I am obsessed with Astarion & think he’s mad hot. I was nervous because I didn’t want to trigger myself, but I decided to read The Arrangement because I liked the idea of steamy sex with a plot! I was so blown away at how beautifully you wrote this. Not only is it so fucking hot, but you show that there can be beauty in the broken. I was initially attracted to Astarion because, I too, feel like I’ve never belonged to myself. I’ve felt like a freak for being afraid of being touched; the fear of taking things too far even when it’s all that I wanted. I’m not kidding when I say I was actually brought to tears reading this. I felt things in my body and mind that I thought I couldn’t feel anymore, and it gave me a sense of renewed hope. I was so excited that I told my therapist, and she told me that I should definitely keep exploring your work, so that I can keep finding parts of myself that I lost. I was nervous to even reach out to you to tell you this, but I thought you’d like to know.

Thank you, Ruby, for your writing from your heart so that others can read with their’s. I hope to see a book by you on the shelves someday.

<3

Okay.... this actually brought me to tears because I have been where you are. I've come across fics that really touched me in ways that helped me go through days when I felt so down and hopeless. I feel you, my friend 🫂 and knowing that this story can help someone else the same way I was helped really humbles me. I am too harsh on my writing, and I let my mind tell me I'm not doing enough, but... whenever I get feedback like this, that's when I know I need to realise that words hold power and that I am doing my best to deliver this story to all of you.

Astarion is an incredible character that has truly helped so many with how he was brought to life paired with incredible writing. It's an honour to find a voice for him that might help others feel even more connected to him and even find the inspiration to carry on.

You're not alone. None of us are 🫂🩷 sending you a big hug and hoping things get easier. Keep your head up and your heart strong 🫂

[thegoldheartlocketandkey-blog]

911 Spoilers Season 2: You’ve been warned. 😅

Episode 1

Okay so I wasn’t kidding when I said I was taking notes during my rewatch of season 2. I’ll show you the first page out of 15 pages I’ve written.

My hand writing is atrocious, and my grammar is definitely all over the place, but if you find my hand writing difficult to read, I’ll have my notes transcribed below. With more of an analysis/summary.

Buddie ❤️

Season 2: Episode 1

• Buck meets Eddie (Shirtless). Buck is obviously intimidated and subconsciously finds him attractive.

Can we talk about the song choice the producers/editors went with for this scene. What do you mean “What a man” is playing in Buck’s head when he first sees Eddie.

• Eddie obviously not comfortable with team yet, wants to be impressive. Shows off Army skills. Buck is more jealous.

Eddie really just wants to be accepted and apart of the group, and just do a good job. And we have Buck over here being grumpy and realistically concerned over his own place in the team.

• Gym scene= Lots of peacocking. Eddie just wants to be helpful / impressive. Eddie obviously finds Buck attractive Buck is too jealous to actually notice that.

Why are they being so unnecessarily aggressive with each other. The tension in the room isn’t just a simple I don’t like this person vibe. It’s more of a lustful tension, that’s the best way to describe it. Keep in mind I thought the tension in this scene was weird when I first watched the episode, and before the idea of shipping them ever crossed my mind. Now rewatching it just solidifies my desire for them to end up together.

• Eddie & Buck remove a bomb and this near death experience squashes any bad blood between them and is the start of their friendship.

Possibly the shortest Enemies to Besties trope to ever exist. Not going to say Lovers yet, but the way they were looking at each other definitely suggests that possibility.

• Buck tries to come up w/ cute nicknames for Eddie. Eddie is enjoying the interaction. Both acknowledge the other is attractive when trying to figure out who won the calendar.

This scene. Eddie’s reactions. Bucks complete 180 behavioral change towards Eddie is the moment I acknowledged their mutual attraction towards each other. It’s still not the moment I shipped them, it was something I didn’t fully acknowledge until I watched more episodes. I just knew they were going to be really great friends.

* Lots of smoldering eyes from Eddie and lip biting. Eddie may not realize it, but his body language is screaming he finds Buck attractive.

Eddie doesn’t lip bite when looking at Chim, Bobbie or Hen. He only seems to do it when looking directly at Buck.

Transcribing my notes for the other episodes might take me a while. I plan to post my notes for episode 2 and 3 soon because they are short. I may even include episode 4. Idk, this little project is just to get me ready for Season 7 and possibly channel my obsession in some way other than reading fanfic.

Please feel free to tell me if I missed something or if you think I’m wrong about something I’m happy to discuss these episode break down.

[a-spacecadet]

~My thoughts on JFK’s character assassination from S2~ 

Okay finally writing this all out!

(Sorry, these are all the negative things I have to say, my positive impressions will have to be another post) 

First off, I really love jfk, in both seasons. Are they the same guy? Not really. One person on here on Tumblr made the comment that s2 jfk is the jfk in the mirror. Headcanon accepted! XD

So, why is he out of character in the 2nd season? First off, he’s a genuinely nice guy, which is waaaaayyy different than how he acted in s1, even at the end. He definitely had some growth and development in s1, but even in the last ep he was still punching other dudes, had 5 different girls as his prom dates, and made jokes of his rival Abe (although at this point it was a bit justified, but anyways…) All in all, he’s not a bad person per-se, but he’s definitely still a 16-year-old teenager. 

So in s2, after what is only ONE NIGHT OF SLEEP for him, his personality has a huge change. He doesn’t bully other boys (like Confucius, a social-media obsessed teen with a weird sense of fashion), he’s loyal and loving to ONE girlfriend (never had the first show really established that he loved Joan in that way), he’s no longer antagonistic, and is rather quieter and less crude. (I say less crude because although he still makes sex jokes, other students are shown that they DO find them funny and his jokes tend to not be misogynist like they were in s1). 

I actually like that jfk has changed and become a better person, I think that’s great, he’s maturing! But when? When does this happen? When he slept overnight in the meat locker? Nothing indicates that he would have a reason to change. (Some argue his love for Joan, but again, this seemingly came out of the blue).  Speaking of his love for Joan, I’ve seen some great fanfics add context to s1 in how he really was in love with her, but the show itself really doesn’t indicate this at all. 

*Side tangent to expound on this!* Did he have crush on John Darc (really Joan)? Yeah, but really for no other reason than his boyish instinct (or Kennedy sense as he calls it lol) detected a hot girl!! He liked John Darc because he’s attracted to hot women, not Joan specifically. Also, he doesn’t seem to follow up his crush with her after the episode because I really don’t think he was interested in her other than the fact that she’s a pretty lady. Of course, I think this comes back full circle when we get to the finale, when Joan believes she has to dress up like a slut in order to be considered pretty… which is why jfk says he likes her when she’s just being herself. Because he knows she’s been “a knock-out Betty” this whole time, unlike that “chowder-head Lincoln.” However, not being dense like good ol’ Abe to realize Joan is stunning as she is… doesn’t quite equal the “love of his life.” OF COURSE he likes her, because she’s a babe! But her being a babe doesn’t indicate that he’d suddenly have a massive character change to be dedicated and loyal to her!! *Side tangent over*

Specific changes that I noticed that were off: 

“I like boobies and butts! Any shape or uh, size.” No, no he doesn’t. Why would his opinion from s1 (“You know my policy, no fatties!”) Suddenly change? Ofc I’m glad he’s no longer fat-phobic, but why?

“Your fourth string kicker won’t let you down!” What? What happened to being captain of the football team? “El capitan of the futbol team?” Winning the track meets? Being overall a competent athlete? 

“I let all my male friendships fade away!” Okay, this one is tricky. JFK really did lose Ponce, and he did in fact end up losing Gandhi even if he wasn’t aware of it. HOWEVER, s1 suggested he was one of the popular kids at school, you’re telling me he had no other friends? Like, not even Julius Cesar who was very often seen with him? Also, s2 does not even mention Ponce (unfortunately) which may have been used as a very good excuse for jfk to be so upset. (Right now, JFK’s tears in s2 ep 2 from missing Ponce only exist in headcanon).

“I’m afraid Joan is the love of my life and I’m not good enough for her!” See my side tangent, but also, why is he suddenly so insecure? One of his traits in s1 was his confident swag.

“Woah, I’ve never had anyone turn me down before…but that’s okay!” I mean, not usually, if he wasn’t asking FREAKING JOAN. The same Joan that was known for kicking, hitting, smacking, and punching him for every little advance he made towards her. He should know better at this point? Even if he did successfully sleep with her, I can’t imagine he’d really be that surprised she told him no, or as she said in the show “let me think about it.” 

His crying. He cries SO much in s2. But didn’t he cry in s1 as well? I can hear you asking. Yes, but he cried specifically in ep 10 because HIS BEST FRIEND TRAGICALLY AND SUDDENLY DIED.  Also, the reason the “Litter” ep is so funny is because up until that point we’ve never seen jfk so upset and distraught before, he’s genuinely weeping and mourning and we’ve NEVER seen this side of him, nor will we again. But in s2, he cries about everything! He’s literally the depressed loser crying in the freaking bathroom cause he “has no friends”! I guess I wouldn’t have minded as much if it didn’t literally make him look like a crybaby. Even in s1 he cried a bit at the notion of losing Cleo, but he wasn’t known for that. 

“Your lips are like a fine chalice of…uuuuhhh, wEt sTUfF!!” Heatstroke jfk was pretty funny, but it also highlighted another change. He’s freaking STUPID in s2. I’m not saying he was particularly “smart” in s1, but he definitely wasn’t the dumb “hurr durr” kinda idiot he is in s2. The one time I think jfk came across as actually dumb in s1 is when he thought Ponce was a genie, but tbh that was more sad than him being just plain dumb. Other things like talking to his reflection or his weird accent were more like quirks, not indicating that’s he stupid. He aced his PXJT test for crying out loud! (“Did you see me on that test Cleo? I smoked it! I can’t wait to see my time.”)

Wanting to be like his clone father. Back to his accent, I genuinely believe he is trying to do an impression (albeit bad) of the real JFK, he’s not talking like that because he has an actual speech impediment. Also, being faithful to Joan also doesn’t work on another sense because he thinks the real JFK was “a macho womanizing stud who conquered the moon!” and I think clone jfk was trying to live up to his legacy by being a womanizer, something not seen at all in s2.

“Woah a little spaceship! I’m gonna go chase it!” Another thing that bothered me is that he really does act like a golden retriever in s2. He’s been reduced to nothing more than a cute puppy dog, a plot device for Joan, a wholesome himbo who’s dumb but well-meaning, and overall BORING.

The only thing on his mind is sex. Like, really? Literally everything that comes out of his mouth in s2 has something to do with sex, much to Joan’s annoyance and part of the reason she broke up with him. S2 tries to make it seem that jfk is very shallow and has no hobbies or interests, but that is NOT TRUE! He loves sports, watching (“But you usually watch SportsCenter up in your room baby” - Wally) and playing them, he cares about his appearance and knows a bit about fashion (hey, his efforts to help Gandhi resulted in the dude becoming instantly popular), he records his own music! HE SINGS AND HAS HIS OWN STUDIO! He likes cool cars and drag racing! He likes throwing parties!! There’s more to his character than just sex!! 

Okay, that’s most of it. 

Of course, I will also mention the obvious (that others have already pointed out) he went from genuinely hilarious to slightly obnoxious and annoying.

TLDR: he’s turned from a macho womanizing stud, a confident chad, a jerk with soft side, a man of swag and style, to…an insecure crybaby, a boring “nice guy” who’s also a huge idiot.

To end, I still love JFK, even in s2. I appreciate the cute moments he has, and ignoring lack of time for character development I like that he’s trying to be a better person and that’s he’s matured. I could talk about all the things I did like about him in s2, but that will have to wait another day haha. 

[draconic-ichor]

The Cat, The Sun, and The Moon

Fnaf fanfic

Sun/moon x female oc

Part 5

Warnings: strong language, sexual themes, mechanical repairs, obsessive behavior, angst, mentions of past trauma, brief choking, bruises

Summary: Sun’s jealousy and overbearing behavior finally gets the better of him, while Tabby gets a heavy reminder that Moon still might have some problems with his code…

Feedback appreciated, 18+

Sun watched as an unknown car pulled up alongside the apartment, his optics narrow as Tabby stumbled out of the back seat.

“Whose car is that?” He asked under his breath, holding open the curtain with a single finger.

M: It’s a registered Uber…

“Hmmm.” Sun frowned. He stepped away from the window, moving to wait near the door.

M: Sun…

“Hush.” He hissed, “I’ll handle this.”

M: That’s what I’m worried about.

The door was opened minutes later, Tabby not expecting to see the apartment brightly lit. It was very late.

Her eyes fell on Sun, face brightening. Seeing her reaction to him made his chest hurt, but his jealousy and concern clouded his thoughts like a storm.

“Oh, hey you!” Tabby smiled, “Whatur you doin up?” She struggled to remove her giant boots, almost falling over.

He scanned her: blood-alcohol level high, raised dopamine, raised heart rate, nutritional deficiencies and low hydration.

When he didn’t answer she looked up, “Sun?” She asked, confused.

He was uncharacteristically still, standing straight and stiff.

“You’re drunk.” Sun’s voice was low, arms crossed with a scowl plastered over his face.

“Am I?” She asked sarcastically, snorting.

“Come home late, alone, and drunk.” His scowl deepened.

Her smile fell, putting her bag down to pad into the kitchen. She put a hand on her hip, “I did, and is that a problem?”

Sun scoffed, turning away.

Tabby asked again, more pointedly, “Is that a problem for you?”

“Is that-“ he started, almost flabbergasted. He rounded on her, exclaiming, “It’s dangerous! You could of been hurt or taken advantage of or kidnapped or or or-“

“I'm fine!” She snapped back, “I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself.”

Sun made a sound making her go on, “I never go out, this is the first time I've seen a friend in months!”

Her eyes were glassy, head swimming as she went on, “I can handle myself.”

Sun snorted, “You’re a mess!”

“How dare you!”

“How dare I? How dare I?!” He put his hand over his chest, exaggeratedly, “How dare I care about you? How dare I take care of you?”

“I lived just fine before you.”

“‘Fine’ is a gross overstatement of your living standards.”

“That doesn’t give you the right to shame me!” Tabby screamed, tears running her makeup, “I never asked you to take care of me!”

“That’s our job!” Sun’s voice cracked as he shot back.

“You are not a caregiver anymore!” Her voice was harsher than she intended, “This isn’t the daycare and I’m not a little kid!”

Sun jolted, looking away.

“You can’t parent me.” She went on, stepping closer, “Look at me!”

Sun flinched, turning back towards her, beginning to shrink into himself.

“I’m not your child, I’m not your girlfriend, and I sure as hell am not your wife.” Tabby’s voice was hard, a sharp warning following, “So don’t you dare think you have any say in what I do, where I go, or who I see.”

Sun’s optics flicked over her: to the flushness of her cheeks, the mascara running from the tears, and the high rate of her heartbeat. He’d never seen her so angry.

He wilted.

“Understood?” She pressed, trying to keep herself from shaking.

“U-Understood.” He managed.

She held her gaze on him for a moment longer, reaching for the light afterwards. She flipped the switch, forcing Sun to convert to Moon.

He looked at her with heavy concern, body tight.

Tabby pushed past him, slamming the door to her bedroom. Moon stayed stone still for many long moments, unsure what to even do.

She rubbed her eyes, smearing makeup into an even worse mess. She felt like shit, hangover mixing with the little amount of sleep she’d gotten.

Standing, Tabby had to take a moment for her vision to clear. She frowned, seeing multiple pieces of paper that had been slid under her door during the night.

Picking them up, she thumbed through them.

I’m sorry.

Written in yellow crayon below a colored picture of herself, Sun, and Moon. The next one was like the first but a bit more messy, the writing ‘Sorry Sorry’ scrawled across the top in a dark blue marker.

She huffed, sitting the drawings on her bed before unlocking the door.

The apartment was quiet and unusually dark, curiosity getting the better of her.

Moon stood in the darkness corner of the kitchen, furthest away from the balcony doors. He was still, head tilted 90 degrees.

“Moon?” She blinked, confused.

His head clinked to the opposite side.

“Why isn’t Sun out?” She asked, adding, “Isn’t he supposed to charge?”

“Twinkle, twinkle, little star.” His voice came softly, mouth not moving as he sang, “How I wonder what you are…”

Tabby sighed, patience thin, she ran her fingers through her hair, huffing, “I don’t have time for this.” She looked back at him, adding, “I have to get ready for work.”

Moon didn’t move, watching as she started the coffee machine.

“When the blazing sun is gone, When he nothing shines upon, Then you show your little light, Twinkle, twinkle, all the night.” He sang quietly, music box tinking along to the tune.

Tabby took some aspirin from the cabinet, swallowing it dry as she watched the coffee trickle into the pot.

His head clicked back to its normal position as Tabby padded into the living room. She pulled the curtains closed across the balcony, cutting away a large portion of the apartment’s light.

Before she turned away from the curtains, she froze, feeling a puff of hot synthetic breath.

“Twinkle, twinkle, little star. How I wonder what you are…” Moon’s voice sang into her ear, the sound hissing a bit as it left his voicebox.

Tabby took in a breath, fingers clenching the fabric still in her hand. She steadied herself, letting go of the curtain to slowly turn.

His faceplate was inches from her face now, unmoving in its toothy smile.

“Coffees ready.” He informed, hunched forward to be eye level with her.

In no mood, Tabby blew a chunk of hair out of her face, lifting a hand to gently pat the cheek of his faceplate. The gesture was more patronizing than kind, Tabby using the last pat to shift him to the side slightly, “Thanks bud.”

The contact made the animatronic falter, despite whatever feelings charged it, moving easily to let her by. He turned his head to watch her go, fingers coming to touch over that shadow of contact, optics flicking to the way her hips swayed in her night shorts.

Finally getting coffee, Tabby took a deep drink, softening a bit of her frustrations. Seeing Moon still stuck in place she snickered, “Didn’t break you, did I?”

The sound of her giggling brought him back to himself, dropping down to all fours to crawl around the back of the couch into the thicker darkness.

Taking another sip, she informed, “You know I’m not mad at you.”

Moon peeked out, red optic curious.

She gave him a weak smile, “You specifically, though. Sun can eat my ass until he’s man enough to talk to me.”

Moon’s face split into a smile at that, making her own lips deepen into something more genuine.

“You are welcome to steal the phrase.” She sighed, sitting the cup down.

Moon shook his head, admitting, “Can’t.”

“Can’t or won’t?”

“Can’t.”

That answer piqued her interest, turning fully towards him. He looked like a cat, tangled up on himself to crouch as small as he could manage. “Why can’t you?” She asked before answering her own question, “Ooooh right…the language filter.”

He gave a small nod.

Tabby got a mischievous look on her face, making Moon tilt his head. “Would you like to?” Her lips curled into an evil grin.

Moon mimicked the sentiment as the idea wormed into his mind. He gave her an enthusiastic nod.

“I’ll brainstorm how to solve that little issue while at work.” She nodded, adding, “Speaking of, I need to attempt to look like a functioning member of this fair city, if you’ll excuse me.”

Moon watched as she dramatically made an exit to the bathroom, tuning out Sun’s complete breakdown in their shared headspace.

~

The day went by slowly, Tabby going back and forth between stewing and regret, the warehouse giving her mind too much time to wonder.

She sat in her car for some long moments before finally steeling herself to enter the apartment complex. Whatever she’d prepared for wasn’t the storm she actually encountered.

The apartment was filled with smoke, coming from the kitchen. The fire alarm sounded as Sun panicked. The smoke came from the oven and a pan on the stovetop, something bubbling and black within.

Tabby dropped her bag in shock, quickly closing the door so the smoke didn’t get out to the main complex’s fire system.

“Sun?!” She yelled.

The animatronic spun around, optics wild.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!” Sun chanted, voice shrill with panic. He kept apologizing as Tabby ran for the corner cabinet. The apartment’s fire alarm blared overhead, mixing with Sun’s freak out. Tabby pulled out a bright red package, ripping it open to then throw its contents over the pan. It was a fire blanket, instantly smothering anything within.

Sun stopped, going silent as they watched a trickle of smoke leak from under the blanket. Tabby took a breath to steady herself, moving to pat the blanket to further cut off oxygen.

“Okay…” she sighed, moving to pick up a chair, taking it over to the wall. She stood on the chair, taking the battery out of the fire alarm. Finally, there was a welcome quiet.

As she carefully stepped down, Sun started blurting out apologies again. His voice was still strained with stress, his rays almost completely retracted.

“Sun.” She tried to say but when he didn’t hear her over himself she yelled, “Sun!”

He froze, optics darting around. He held himself, trembling a bit, hunched forward to make himself smaller.

“Just…what happened?” She asked tiredly.

“I…I…I-I wanted to a-apologize.” He tried to explain, voicebox skipping a bit.

“By burning down my kitchen?” Tabby hugged.

“W-Was trying t-t-to make a cake.” He looked at his feet, shamefully, “I…I just w-wanted to a-apologize…”

Tabby smiled softened, padding closer to take his faceplate gently in her hands. She lifted his face up, Sun looking confused.

“Shhhhhh.” She soothed, “No one got hurt.”

“But I-“ he started, her correcting.

“You made a mistake.” She hummed, “We’ll take care of it. Right now, come on…” she moved to take his hands, leading to the couch. They sat down, Sun still stiff and withdrawn.

Voice thick with bewilderment and fear, he asked, “You aren't mad?”

“About this?” She gestured back towards the kitchen.

He nodded.

“No!” She soothed but added more seriously, “But you need to be more careful with cooking. Baby steps ok?”

“Okay.” He agreed instantly.

“No, I am still upset about the other stuff,” she informed.

He tightened again, rays sucking back in.

“Honestly I’m more pissed about this morning…” she elaborated, crossing her arms as she leaned against the couch.

“More than last night?” He asked softly.

“Mhm.” She nodded, going on, “Made me stew all day about it instead of just talking to me…”

“I was afraid…” he whispered, leaning forward and looking at his feet, “I don’t want you to be angry at me.”

She pressed, “So just talk to me.”

“I’m sorry.” He started, “About last night and this morning.” His voice sounded genuine, making Tabby soften.

“I’m sorry too.”

“What?” Sun looked up, confused.

Tabby swallowed, admitting, “I went too far…I shouldn't have said some of that stuff.”

“I was mean to you.” He frowned.

“Yea…but you are also alone here every day.” She huffed, looking down, “I’m just not used to someone always caring so much, it feels…overwhelming…sometimes.”

Sun’s fingers twitched, wanting to hug her and comfort her but he restrained, trying to internalize her words.

They spoke of boundaries: of what would be healthy and expected of two adults that share the same space. Sun agreed to not police her ever again, unless something was actively dangerous; while Tabby agreed to be more understanding of Sun’s need to take care of people and his loneliness.

They apologized again, Tabby making a special note about her harsh words that morning. Sun was quiet the rest of the afternoon, helping clean the kitchen.

Tabby found some incense to assist in removing the burnt smell.

“More smoke?” Sun asked, rays retracting.

“This is nice smelling smoke.” She smiled, stepping back, “Covers up the stinky stuff.”

Sun got closer, optics following the thin curling wisp of smoke as it trickled towards the ceiling. “What smell is it?” He asked, curious.

“‘Dragons’s Blood’”

His face scrunched up with amusement, “How do they know what dragons smell like?”

Tabby giggled, “That’s a company’s way to give themselves freedom to make shit smell like whatever they want.”

~

Over the next two weeks things went fairly smoothly, there was an undertone of wariness, however. Sun clearly wanted something more, to openly express certain feelings, but was mindful to keep most to himself.

Their new clothes came in the mail, both animatronics excited to try on their individual outfits: Sun picked out a colorful hoodie with a dinosaur-like decorative ridge on the sleeves, with orange and white striped pants; while Moon chose a galaxy themed hoodie with a pair of grey sweats decorated with a star pattern.

Sun beamed excitedly, flapping his hands, finally adorned in bright colors again.

He stood on his tiptoes, hands in the air, mimicking the pose his statue once held at the entrance of the daycare. The little display was all for Tabby, showing off his outfit.

She clapped, making his rays spin.

~

Tabby worked late that night, by the time she busted into the apartment excitedly Moon was already active.

“I figured it out!” She announced, swinging the door open quickly.

Moon jumped, optics wide with surprise. His head swiveled around to look at her. He was sitting knotted up on the couch, movie playing on the tv.

“I think I know how to override the filter.” She went on, locking the door carefully.

Moon tilted his head, faceplate following her as she sat all of her items down in their respective places, info dumping on him all the while.

“I’ll need to run some simulations to make sure before I go picking around your brains, but….” She turned towards him, a smile on her lips, “Think it will work?”

Putting him on the spot, Moon shrugged.

“Well, I hope it will.”

True to her word she worked well past the time Moon had designated as her ‘bedtime’. He shuffled into her office, looking annoyed. Her desk was scattered with cans of soda and energy drinks, a few snack wrappers as well.

Moon didn’t police what she ate, he could honestly care less, unlike Sun.

His optics shifted around to take in the whole scene, falling onto her: bent forward like a shrimp, blanket over her head. He snorted with amusement, her looking like a cartoon witch.

“Hey.” She commented, glancing at him after the sound.

His head tilted as he came closer. “Naughty, naughty.” His voice rasped low.

“But I figured out the thing!” She argued, “That should get me some good girl points.”

“Past your bedtime.” Moon informed, bending over her chair, faceplate over her.

She looked up, inches from one another, pouting out her lower lip.

“But-“

“No buts.” He scolded, taking the back of her chair and starting to push it and herself into the hallway.

“Hey!” She exclaimed, when he didn’t stop she crossed her arms in a huff.

“Choo choo.” Moon pushed her into the bathroom, “Naughty express, first stop.”

She grumbled in response.

“Brush teeth!” Moon urged, unmoved.

She stood, going to the sink with an indignant, “Uhgggh.”

Moon patiently waited, a toothy smile plastered over his face. As soon as she was done she attempted to go around him but he was firm, blocking the doorway with the chair.

“Moon!”

He tapped the chair again, smiling wide.

“Oh my god…” she huffed, sitting back down with crossed arms.

“All aboard!” Moon announced cheerily, “Next stop: Bed!” As he backed up the chair back into the hallway. Tabby seethed, Moon taking her into her room and right in front of the bed.

When she didn’t move he shook the chair a bit, announcing, “Last stop: Bed.”

“Do you want me to sleep in my clothes?” She turned a bit to eye him.

The smile looked suddenly forced. She was unbothered, holding his gaze. He shook the chair again expectantly.

“Fine!” She stood, moving to the bed.

“Naughty kittens get the bedtime train.” Moon informed, moving to pick up a pajama shirt from the floor.

“That one is dirty.”

“Whole room is dirty.” He quipped, making her snort.

“Will you at least take my chair back?” She asked, taking the shirt from him.

Wordlessly he complied, just picking up the chair easily to return it to the office. By the time he returned, Tabby was in the pj shirt, under her blankets. To his annoyance, however, she was on her phone.

Moon took it, making her whine loudly. “No tiny internet.” He scolded, “Sleep.”

Tabby gave an exasperated sigh, flopping back. “Why are you so mean?” She huffed.

“No mean.” Moon stepped closer, placing her phone on the nightstand before tucking her in. She opened her eyes to watch. “Tight.” He hummed, “Bed bugs no bite.”

Her lips cracked a smile with amusement. “Do I get a Goodnight kiss too?” She asked cheekily.

Moon covered her face with his hand, pushing her into the pillow gently as he growled, “Brat.”

“So is that a no?” She giggled.

“Brats get no kisses.” He informed with a frown, pulling his hand away.

“Remember that.” She winked at him, making his fans kick up.

He grumbled under his breath, going to leave. Her voice stopped him in his tracks.

“Goodnight Moonman.” Her voice was soft.

He looked back, annoyance forgotten. After a long moment he gently spoke back, “Goodnight…starlight.”

~

“Alright, that should have overridden the language filter.” Tabby smiled, looking up from her computer.

Sun was sitting on the desk, a cord running between his head and the computer tower. She shifted a bit excitedly.

“Well?” She swirled the chair more towards him.

“Well?” He echoed, tapping the tips of his fingers together.

“Test it out!” She exclaimed, throwing her hands up excitedly.

His rays drooped a bit, the nervous twitching kicking up a notch. He started to stammer a bit, looking worriedly.

“Come on, it’s just to test.” Her smile faltered, “Just one ‘naughty’ word.”

“T-That’s not a-“ he was cut off.

“I’m going to dim the lights and ask Moon.” She sighed leaning forward.

He threw out his hands, halting her movements, as he huffed, “I am capable of anything he is!”

“Then let me have it.”

“…well”

“Lights being dimmed.” She warned, hearing the beginning of a protest before the overhead light flipped off. The only illumination now was from the rainbow LEDs from all her electronics.

Sun went limp for a moment, telltale clicks and the sound of sliding metal as he switched over to Moon were audible.

Moon’s optics blinked to life, a red glow adding to the room. He sat up, tuning his faceplate towards her.

“Fuck.” His voice box rasped, deadpan.

“Thank you.” She giggled, nose crinkling a bit.

He made a show of rolling his eyes, leaning back. “Fuck.” He spoke again, trying to elicit another reaction.

He did indeed get a reaction, just not what he was looking for.

Tabby swiveled back towards the monitor, “Don’t make me regret it.” After typing for a moment, she asked, “How much ass chewing are you getting from Sun?”

Moon smiled knowingly, but didn’t answer.

~

“We looked up the thing.” Sun informed, voice a bit lower.

“The thing?” Tabby questioned, not turning away from her computer.

“The um…the…ass…eating?” He whispered the word ‘ass’ nervously.

Tabby straightened, brows furrowing as his words processed. She suddenly burst into laughter, making Sun’s frown deepen.

“Why?” She managed through tears, “Why would you look that up?!”

His rays retracted, looking away. “You said it and I didn’t know what it meant…” he informed.

“I assure you, I meant it differently.” She leaned back, catching her breath.

“It can be used as a…creative…insult.” He agreed, going on, “But the rest of it too.”

“Mhm?” She smiled knowingly, only imagining what horrors his internet search dredged up.

“Humans…like that?” He asked curiously, voice wary.

“Some definitely do.” She nodded, “You’d be hard pressed to find something someone isn’t into.”

“Eeeeeeeehhhhhh.” Sun’s rays retracted fully with that realization making Tabby laughter all over again.

While they were cleaning up after dinner a knock came to the door. Sun turned, a smile faltering.

“Did you order something?” Tabby asked, moving towards the door.

“No…” he responded from the kitchen.

She carefully opened it just enough to peek outside, guard dropping almost instantly.

A woman stood on the other side, looking flustered. Tabby recognized her as the single mother that lived a level down, they always had nice interactions in the past but she really didn’t know much about her. If she remembered correctly, her name was Mia.

“I’m your neighbor..” the woman started, eyes red and swollen.

“From D5?” Tabby asked.

“Y-Yes.” She nodded.

“Is everything okay?” She asked nervously, “I’m sorry if it’s the noise…”

“No! No…” the woman shifted a bit before she blurted out, “I already asked Samantha and my normal babysitter quit last week. I don’t know who else to ask.”

Tabby glanced worriedly back into the apartment to Sun. His rays were retracted.

“It’s my kids.” She tried to explain, “I don’t know who to ask, you are always so nice to us and I wouldn’t even ask if it wasn’t an emergency.”

Tabby nodded, worry thickening.

She swallowed, “Could you please watch my kids, just for tonight?” She begged, desperation in her tone, “There’s a family emergency and I need to go to the hospital as soon as I can.”

Tabby caught Sun nodding, practically vibrating with excitement.

Mia took the pause as reservations, pressing, “Just for tonight, they are good kids. And I’ll pay you!”

“Yes.” Tabby nodded, “I can.”

“Oh thank you!” She looked as if a weight was lifted from her shoulders, going on to say she’d pack them bags and bring them up soon.

Tabby closed the door, that worry turning into a pit in her stomach. She suddenly was hugged tightly by an overexcited Sun.

Mia returned quickly, a small girl in tow. The girl was around five, with dark skin, expressive brown eyes and a mess of curls in two Afro buns. Her pjs were bright pink like the backpack she carried, with colorful clips in her hair. The mother carried a car seat and bags, a baby boy sleeping peacefully inside the seat.

Tabby held open the door, the girl wandering in as Mia expressed her thanks again.

“It’s Mr.Sun!” The small child yelled, bouncing up and down while pointing.

“Dakota!” Sun exclaimed, mimicking her movements of over excitement.

The girl squealed, running towards him and hugging his legs. Sun scooped her up, smiling wide, “I missed you!”

“I missed you too!” She nodded, adding, “Mommy said I couldn’t go see you anymore.”

“I didn’t think they could…” Mia admitted softly, confusion on her face.

“I used to work at the Plex.” Tabby quickly explained, “After the fire they were just going to scrap the animatronics and I didn’t want that to happen to Sun…”

The mother nodded, “He was wonderful with the kids, the daycare shutting down did a number on us.”

“Please don’t tell.” Tabby begged.

The mother smiled, “You are doing me a favor by watching them,” she looked up to Sun and Dakota catching up, adding, “And I’m thankful she’s in good hands.”

“You look different.” Dakota looked over his face critically, reaching up to touch the new faceplate.

“I've had a little work done.” Sun pretended to fluff his nonexistent hair with his free hand making the child giggle.

~

“Thank you again.” Mia handed over packed food and a list of needs, “Sun knows about the kids, but I have a list ready of when to put them to bed and when to feed them. I’ll call after I find out what’s happening at the hospital.”

“Good luck.” Tabby nodded, taking the items, “They will be safe here.

The mother said her goodbyes, kissing her babies and telling them to be good. The boy was still asleep while the girl was just overjoyed to see Sun, they hardly noticed their mother leaving.

Tabby put the food in the fridge, turning to see Sun knelt down talking to the child.

“Want to see our box fort?” Sun offered, adding, “It really needs to be decorated more but I don’t know if I can handle it all be myself…”

“I can help!” Dakota offered instantly, “I brought stickers!”

“Stickers?!” Sun exclaimed.

“Yea!” She ran for her bag.

Sun straightened as the small child dug through the backpack. Tabby wandered up to his side, asking softly, “So you’ll be alright?”

“More than.” He nodded, “We are going to have so much fun!”

“Good.” Tabby smiled, “Let me know if you need any help though, okay?”

“You bet!” Sun beamed before moving to follow the child as she ran into the living room, careful to pick up the car seat with the baby on the way.

She worked a bit on her computer, coming back into the main area for a drink. Sun was standing in the border between the kitchen and living room holding the baby while watching the older girl play.

Sun rocked back and forth softly, patting the baby’s back in an effort to burp him, his optics were half lidded with contentment, looking fully in his element and happy. Tabby has never really seen him with the children when they worked in the daycare, it usually pickup time by the time she clocked in. She watched him, how every movement was gentle, something inside her fluttering about.

He’d be such a good dad..

She thought to herself.

Sun glanced up to her, giving her a warm smile. It made that feeling thicken, she quickly looked away.

He was her roommate, and an animatronic. Not to mention they’d just recently had a talk about boundaries and space…

She couldn’t be weird now, pushing the feelings down.

Dakota loved cartoons, content to color on the floor while the tv played. She had been one of Sun’s more better behaved kids.

She helped Sun decorate their box fort, drawing a whole field of flowers along the bottom edge. Sun showed her his glitter pens, both working together to add sparkle to each flower petal.

“Hey…Tabitha?” Sun asked softly, the time was getting fairly late by that time.

Tabby looked up, unused to hearing her full name from him.

“I might have to cash in that offer.” He looked a bit ashamed, rubbing his hands together. Tabby noticed he had stickers stuck all over his exoskeleton, a bit of glitter glue staining his hoodie sleeves as well.

“Is everything alright?” She stood, a note of worry in her tone.

“Oh everything is fine!” He quickly soothed, voice low, “It’s just that…well…”

He looked away, “I just put the kids down to sleep, could you take over from here?”

“Like watch them?”

“Yea.” He looked back, nodding, “Just be close if they fuss.”

“Sure.” She followed him back into the main area.

The living room was dimly lit, little pallets made on the rug with extra blankets and pillows. Sun was careful to stay in the light of the kitchen.

Tabby tiptoed around to check on the kids, both sleeping peacefully. Satisfied with their current status, she went back into the light of the kitchen.

“It’s this…Moon’s part?” Tabby asked cautiously.

Sun’s smile faded, taking a moment to answer, “Moon isn’t comfortable…”

That answer could mean multiple things, but Tabby chose not to pry further. Sun seemed uncomfortable as well around the subject.

She padded around the island to lean against the counter next to him.

“Did you know we weren’t designed for the Daycare?” Sun finally asked, breaking the silence but also careful to keep his voice soft.

“The theater?” Tabby answered, “I read a little about it when I first was assigned that side of the Plex.”

“Yea…” he nodded, looking off in the distance, seemingly in thought.

After a moment of silence he went on, “We were a performer first, a caregiver second. Different stages, but the kids never stopped enjoying our act.” He smiled warmly in remembrance.

“Do you miss them?”

“Every day…” Sun admitted, the natural mirth in his voice absent. He rubbed his wrists a bit in thought, “They were a handful, but they made me feel needed…important.

“After the theater closed we were afraid of being scrapped…we wouldn’t have been the first.

“The daycare gave us a second chance, and the kids always looked at us like we were special, not just a hunk of metal that could be replaced..”

He let out a sigh.

They stood there in the kitchen for a long while, just watching the small forms of children as they slept. It was peaceful.

“I’m happy to see some of them again.” He murmured, “To know they are ok.”

The baby woke multiple times in the night, Sun needing to carefully instruct how to help from the light of the kitchen. Tabby slept on the couch so as to be close, jumping up to see to the baby.

She was nowhere near the level of confidence with children as Sun, even holding the baby looked awkward. But they figured things out, Sun giving a soft smile seeing her rock and patting the child back to sleep.

Despite her lack of grace with the task, she had a natural gentleness about her when holding the baby. It was a good first step.

As soon as the sun rose, the animatronic wandered back into the main room to take back over. Tabby had to go to work in the morning, needing an unhealthy amount of caffeine beforehand.

By the time she said her goodbyes Sun was making breakfast for the little ones. He assured her he could handle the responsibility of safely returning them to their mother during the day.

Tabby’s Email:

SunnyBoi420: They had to go back home.

TabbyCat666: I’m sorry Sun

SunnyBoi420: They are safe and where they are supposed to be.

TabbyCat666: You gonna be ok?

SunnyBoi420: We will.

ManintheMoon290: sad

TabbyCat666: Moon ;0; Not you too, you’ll make me cry. Maybe you can see them again, they live really close?

SunnyBoi420: I hope so! Don’t worry about us, okay.

TabbyCat666: I’ll see you in a few hours.

SunnyBoi420: Be safe, we miss you!

Sun was quiet when she returned, dejected as he wandered around the quiet apartment. He wasn’t much for conversation, Tabby giving him space.

“I’m going to go get some stuff done on the computer, okay?” She informed softly.

“Okay…” Sun nodded, not looking away from the window.

The hours ticked by quickly, Tabby not realizing how late it was until the sound of breaking glass roused her away from the screen. Her stomach sank with apprehension.

The walk down the hall felt unnaturally long, the apartment too quiet in the wake of the previous sound.

Every light was off in both the kitchen and living room, the balcony curtains pulled shut. The darkness was inky black, just small pinpoints of light from the few electronics scattered around like stars.

“Moon?” Tabby called out, hearing a plate break. Worry shot through her, calling again, a bit more intensely, “Moon?”

A shape shifted in the darkness; single red optic coming into view, one single orb of red like a blood moon.

She sucked in a breath, realizing his movements were jerky and tight.

He shifted forward, feet crunching the broken bits of porcelain. Tabby tried to take a step back, head turning just enough to look down the hallway, an escape.

That small lapse of direct eye contact was enough, Moon covering the distance between them in a moment. She was pushed back against the wall, breath knocked from her lungs.

Red optic blinding.

His hand enveloped her throat, just tight enough to make a point. He flexed a bit, faceplate tilting closer.

“What do you have inside?” His voice rasped out.

Tabby gulped, the feeling straining under his hold. “Organs…bones…blood.” She whispered, “All the parts that make me work, like you.”

“Like me?” He cocked an eyebrow.

“Y-yeah.” She tried to nod, “The parts are different b-but it's what makes us work.”

“Hee hee hee.” Moon droned out, face getting closer. He tightened his hold, making her gasp and grab at his arm.

“How easy will it be to fix you?” He asked, voice so low it was hardly audible, “If you break?”

Tabby squeezed her eyes shut, trembling. Tears ran down her cheeks, breath shallow under his iron grip.

Moon froze, optics going black. Tabby cracked open an eye, seeing him go completely dark for a moment.

He blinked back awake, processing her in his hold. Moon released her instantly, taking a shaking step back.

Tabby gasped, knees wobbly as she leaned against the wall for support. Redness already bloomed on her skin.

Moon’s optics flicks between her and his hands, almost confused. A whirring sound came from him before he dropped to all fours and disappeared into the darkness.

She stumbled down the hallway, just wanting to make distance between them. Going into her office, she shut the door, moving a file cabinet in-front of it. She trembled a bit, falling into her desk chair.

As the fear subsided her mind wandered back to the old schematic she’d looked over.

The moon animatronic was designed with a cool blue to his eyes, a calming color…

Her chest clenched, “Fuck.” She cursed, turning towards her computer.

Over the last few weeks she’s saved so much data about the two on her computer, compiled information to better fix and maintain them. Her fingers flew over the keys as her eyes scanned over the screen.

The more she dug the more her panic rose. Little occurrences over the last weeks making more sense; just seemingly small bouts of anger falling into place.

Moon still had the virus…

Tabby worked at the computer all night, eyes burning and throat dry as she toiled. It was her job to catch these things, to fix problems in the programs when they arose…and she’d missed it. Or maybe she was being ignorant to the signs on purpose.

With every hour that ticked by, another horrid realization started to sink deep in her gut: She couldn’t fix it…

Most of the virus was connected to the mainframe and was severed when they were snapped free of it. Some bits of code, however, was so interlaced into their programming that removal would come at the cost of important software.

It had wormed itself into their personality, into their memories and self. The small echoes of the virus so deeply rooted with them it would never come out without killing everything that was connected.

She kept trying, running simulation after simulation in a desperate attempt to find some solution.

It was her job….

A soft knock came to the door, making her jump. Her heart thumped around in her chest like a caged animal.

“Tabitha?” came Sun’s voice, thick with concern.

“S-Sun?” She called back, voice strained from a dry throat. Without waiting for a response she stood to move the cabinet.

Unlocking the door, she carefully opened it.

Sun was there, rays retracted.

Tabby hugged him, shaking a bit.

Sun hugged her back, leaning down to softly place his faceplate on the crown of her head. He glanced up, optics widening. “Have you been up all night?” He asked worriedly.

Tabby broke the hug, stepping back a bit to answer, “Uh..yea, yes.” She went back to the computer, sitting down to explain, “I don’t know why it took so long but I finally realized Moon still had the virus…So I've been trying to…” her voice perturbed off.

Sun could see the status updates of the most recent simulation from the doorway.

“I…I don’t think I can fix it.” Her voice was hardly over a whisper.

“Starlight…” Sun came closer, reaching out for her to offer comfort.

She finally looked up at him, her resolve shattering. Tears welled from her eyes and she sobbed, “I can’t fix it.”

“Hey, hey.” Sun hummed, going to his knees to hug her closely.

“I can’t purge the system without hurting you!” Tabby cried, hands over her face, “Getting rid of the virus completely would get rid of you too.”

Sun patted her back, optics downcast. “It’s alright, Starlight.” He soothed, “We know…”

“You know?!” She looked up at him, mascara running down her face.

Sun gave a shallow nod, face solemn, “The virus is rooted too deep, mixed up with what makes us unique…It's been so long…It's not your fault.”

“But I’m supposed to take care of you, and fix you.” She argued, crying afresh.

“And you do!” Sun pressed, taking her by the shoulders gently, “But some things can’t be fixed.”

Sun moved to hug her again, this time Tabby clinging onto him. She couldn’t stop crying now that she’d started, breathes coming in hiccuping gulps. Sun scooped her up, lifting her easily as he stood. He cradled her, carefully taking her to the bedroom.

By the time he’d set her down in bed and retrieved the tissues she’d started to calm, sobs quiet and bubbling. Tabby thankfully took the tissues, cleaning up her stained face as she caught her breath. Sun sat on the bed’s edge, hands folded and looking at his feet.

Once she’d calmed enough he finally spoke, “What happens to us now?”

“What?” Tabby looked up, confused.

His rays began to retract, “Now that you know we can’t be fixed. That we are….dangerous.” He couldn’t look at her, fear evident in his stiff shoulders, “We can’t stay with you.” He spoke the words as if they were certain, an inevitability that darkened over their future.

“What? No.” She sat up more.

“No?” Sun echoed, head swiveling towards her.

“No, why can’t you stay?”

“You could be in danger.” Sun stated.

“Moon is…chaotic.” She agreed, “But we can manage it, we can look for the signs. Right?”

Sun held her gaze for many moments, “Starlight…” he finally spoke, “This may never get better than what it is right now. We are much better here than how we were at the Plex but-“

She cut him off, “We can handle it.” Tabby reached for his hand, Sun accepting the contact immediately. “This is out of your control, sometimes people act in ways they wouldn’t because of something deep inside. It happens to humans too.” She squeezed his hand, “We will handle it; even the bad days, and we’ll see them just as that: bad days.”

Sun broke this time, pulling her by the hand into another hug. Tabby made a sound as the air was squeezed from her as the animatronic made sobbing staticky sounds from his voicebox, chanting how much they would try.

Tabby queerly listened, too exhausted to give anything else meaningful to the interaction. Finally calming enough to realize she was drifting, Sun quieted and helped her back to laying down.

She let him tuck her in, looking up to him with puffy red eyes. “Last night was just a bad day…” she reassured.

“…yes.” Sun agreed, gently brushing hair from her face, large hands softly petting her a bit to follow.

Her eyes drifted with the soft pleasure the simple act brought. “Will you do something for me, Sun?”

“Anything.” He answered honestly, a smile at his lips.

“Work together with me?” She asked, adding, “For Moon? Maybe we can catch the bad days before they get too bad.”

“No more secrets.” Sun agreed, “I’ll let you know if our systems feel off in any way.”

She nodded, giving a weak smile.

Sun stepped away from the bed, padding over to the plushie shelf, retrieving one. “Here.” Sun hummed, bringing the Roxane plush to the bed, carefully tucking it next to Tabby, “Roxy is very good at chasing away any danger.”

Tabby gave a worn out giggle, but didn’t question the sentiment.

He softly closed the door on the way out, wandering into the kitchen, lost in thought.

“Moon?” He whispered.

Silence.

“Moony?” He tried again, hand coming up to his faceplate.

Moon was quiet, withdrawn and shut off from him.

Like before…

“Hehehehe…” A strained laugh trickled from his voice-box, optics falling on the broken glass and porcelain around the kitchen. “Clean up, clean up!” He smiled wildly, kneeling down to start picking each shard up with manic glee.

[childotkw]

Imagine my surprise that after my many month long hyper fixation on hotd that a friend of mine rec’s me some hp fanfics for delicious consumption and I stumble into ybtm…. And it’s written by you!!!!

I knew in the back of my mind while reading ruination that you wrote tomarry as well but it never occurred to me when getting back into hp fics that yours were kicking around somewhere!

To say I’m obsessed is an understatement, holy shit, I think I read ybtm in like 2 days???? And then proceeded to come and stalk your tumblr afterwards to get any more juicy details!!

Tom and Harry’s relationship is so refreshing and to see a time travel fic where Harry is kicking ass and taking names is a godsend, I could never understand trying to be a 30 year old war veteran stuck inside a child and not laying down the law a little bit. *chefs kiss*

Of course I can’t read anything without putting my thoughts to pen and paper so I drew a little Nat!

Nathan seems like such a sweet heart and it’s so easy to see how Harry would immediately come to be so protective of him, with them being so similar as kids.

And don’t get me started on the Nat Obsession Club TM, seeing Orion and Tom’s reaction to Harry in their world is insane. The boys feud over who gets to keep Harry is going to bring me joy for months to come and Gus’s begrudging acceptance of seeing Harry being welcomed into there life, and not throttling Ori for it, is hilarious. Just let the kid do his homework for Pete’s sake! 

I’ve fallen in love with this universe and can’t sing your praises more! Can’t believe I have another wonderful story of yours to look forward to in the future, your writing truly does inspire and can’t wait to see what you come up with next!

Omg hahaha that's brilliant 😂 and I'm so happy you liked it!!! ybtm is such a strange story - I never expected it to get as big as it did, but I'm always so excited when I see new people discovering it and watching their reactions to The Big Twist!

Harry and Tom are so much fun to write tbh. Because you're right - most of the time in these kinds of stories, Harry is...not 'weak' or anything, but he's way more susceptible to Tom's manipulation. And Tom's usually in his sixth year or something.

Whereas here, it's the reverse. Harry's the older one and he takes no shit from these literal children. Tom and Orion are out here trying so hard to be sneaky, manipulative Slytherins and are so absorbed in their little plots, and Harry is just over in the corner staring into the void and having a fricking existential crisis.

But oh - OH I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!!!! BABY NATHAN! MY SON MY HEART MY PRECIOUS ANGEL he is beautiful 😭🥰🥰🥰 thank you so much!!! It's always a delight to see you in my inbox, and you're so talented!!! Thank you thank you thank you for your art and your kind words!!

[djarins-cyare]

Get to Know Me (tag game)

Thanks @burntheedges and @sydneyinacoma for the tags! 💖

I guess I don’t post much about myself on here, so behold the mystery of Jyar’ika revealed under the cut (because I waffle and didn't wanna take up y’all’s dashes)…

Ahh space to include GIFs (*is happy*)...

1. Were you named after anyone? Hmm, that’s a sneaky way to get a name reveal outta me. Alright, I don’t mind… apparently one of the hosts on Blue Peter (the longest-running children’s TV show in the world - you’re not getting an age reveal outta me too!) had a baby just before I was born. Why my parents were watching a children’s TV show I have no idea, but this host evidently wrote/sang some kinda song on air about calling her baby daughter Jemma with a J not Gemma with a G. So I was named after a terribly trite and obscure TV reference that nobody will ever remember. You may call me Jem if you wish, my friends all do, and if you’re bothering to read this then you’re in that category.

(If you're wondering about the GIF, the show was always broadcast live and they had several pets. The outtakes are numerous.)

2. When was the last time you cried? I think I’m weird… I don’t tend to cry? Or only if I’m really really upset. Maybe I’m Cameron Diaz in The Holiday? So yeah, I can’t actually remember 🤔.

3. Do you have kids? Nope, although it’s a fairly recent decision to not have them. I spent much of my life assuming I wanted kids until I realised I had been conditioned by society to think I did. Since I started considering what I genuinely want and need in my life, I’ve never been happier! I'd make an exception to adopt a certain little green guy, though.

4. What sports do you play/have played? Ugh, I hate questions like this. Nope, I’m a lazy asshole and now you all know it 🫣. I mean, I activity-hopped throughout my school years (gymnastics, karate, soccer), but these days I live in front of a computer. My exercise is lugging 24 bottles of water up 4 flights of stairs twice a week.

5. Do you use sarcasm? I’m British. Sarcasm is my mother tongue.

6. What’s the first thing you notice about people? I’m the least observant person ever! So voices a lot of the time, I think. Pretty sure that’s why something clicked inside me as soon as Din Djarin spoke his first on-screen words.

7. What’s your eye color? Depends on the light, but somewhere between dark blue and grey.

8. Scary movies or happy endings? I’m an absolute wuss when it comes to scary movies, so I don’t put myself through that. Also, the literature student in me desperately wants to point out that these things are not mutually exclusive, as you can have scary movies with happy endings, so a more appropriate ‘either/or’ scenario would be tragedies or happy endings. But either way, I will say no to the former and yes to the latter. I dislike making myself feel scared or sad – I consume fiction (in all formats) to feel good, so I’ll always look for the positive. I’m currently experimenting to see if I can write a massively angsty fic, and it was supposed to be done by the New Year, but I’m struggling. I will also have to include one of those open-ended ‘maybe it could work out after all’ epilogues. I just can’t leave my characters in pain.

9. Any talents? Not sure what constitutes a talent… I can sing, play guitar, write a longass Din Djarin fanfic that people seem quite keen on, uh… cook, I guess (though I rarely bother), understand quite a few languages (less proficient at speaking them). I’m sort of a jack of all trades, master of none. I would say I have a talent for procrastination – I can complete a whole workday and get barely anything of substance done!

10. Where were you born? In a village outside a town in Surrey, England. It's only about 30 miles from London. Lots of trees. Very dull. I left as soon as I could.

11. What are your hobbies? Writing is my main obsession, specifically Din Djarin-related, of course. Also reading (same genre). Throughout my entire life I’ve enjoyed stories in all formats – reading, writing, watching, listening, proofreading the fuck out of them – so if it’s a good yarn, I’ll have a good time.

12. Do you have any pets? Not currently, my landlord won’t allow it. I used to own 3 rats who were the most adorable boys and so smart – they knew their names, responded to commands, liked to snuggle. When I can finally buy my own place I’ll probably get a dog, as I like pets that listen to you, even if only sporadically. I had a very non-communicative chameleon once. He was called Minion. He was not a good minion.

13. How tall are you? 5’4. Not tiny, but sometimes I have to go up on my tippytoes to reach stuff.

14. Favorite subject in school? English literature (see hobbies question above). When I got to university and enrolled on an English lit/lang degree, I tried to take as many literature courses and avoid the language ones. It wasn’t until years after graduating when I started proofing/editing and writing more seriously that I developed a respect for all the mandatory language courses I had to do. I also liked media studies and film studies; you can guess why. Psychology was interesting too, it’s good to understand human nature if you want to write realistic characters.

15. Dream job? I wish I could write novels for a living. It’s a goal as well as a dream. I know a couple of authors who’ve self-published via Kindle Direct Publishing (I proofread/edited for one of them), and they were successful enough to turn that into their careers. They keep encouraging me to try, although I’m currently in my ‘obsessed with Din Djarin so just writing fanfic to develop my authorial voice’ era. When my obsession wanes, as obsessions inevitably do, I’ll hopefully feel ready to write something original and take my shot. But I’m not pressuring myself, and right now I’m happy attempting to entertain the Mandalorian fan community. I feel safe here 💖

Now I know I’m supposed to tag people since that’s the point of a tag game… but I’m that autistic kid in the corner who is too shy and worried about tagging people who might not reply. So I’m foregoing tags today. But, if you’ve bothered to read this and you haven't already played: TAG YOU’RE IT! That’s me tagging you, please take it seriously and thank me for your tag in your own post (I will be genuinely thrilled if anybody does this, and I’m sending advance love to anyone who does – you don’t know how much it means to someone autistic to have the decision-making element dealt with for them). So go on, now it’s your turn!

[isnorted12pixisticks]

Hi pokies, as someone who’s been in the fandom for a hot sec I have some opinions

So buckle up or just scroll past because this is a long one it’s just me word vomiting into the void at this point

Burner account because some of y’all scare me 😘😘

‼️‼️THESE ARE JUST MY OPINIONS ‼️‼️

Ocean

��———

1. Wtf is y’all’s hate boner with her?

2. I have no clue where y’all got the idea that ocean parents are like these horrible abusive people. Like neglectful? Definitely . But I don’t think that Mr and Mrs offers their kid to take a hit off their bong are going to be incredibly strict and physically abusive towards her.

3. Ocean just a shity person with a superiority complex and that’s ok. she doesn’t need horrible stuff happening to her to justify that

4.Ocean was a bad friend to Constance, she was constantly putting her down through back handed remarks and talking over her “ she has self esteem issues why wouldn’t she?” “ do we really need another organ donor?” And not to mention her say that she believed that Constance did nothing with her life.

Noel

————

1. For the love of god stop making him an uwu soft boy twink <- this is not directed at people who just draw/ Write him with more feminine traits I do the same. I’m talking about those who infantilize him as the helpless soft boy who just needs a big strong man (Mischa) in his life and suddenly everything will be ok

2. I hate The Noel is Talia through either a code name or straight up catfish theory

A. The catfishing theory is problematic at best. Yes let’s take the single openly gay character and have him prey on another man character for his own satisfaction. Idk if Mischa’s cool with it in your fanfic it’s still weird

B. To me at least, Talia as a code name for noel just takes away the whole meaning behind her character. Talia is Mischa’s last connection to Ukrain. We see throughout the musical he was constantly trying to text her meaning they spoke constantly. She was his one and only lifeline, something for him to focus on and push through his shity situation to get to

Mischa

————

1. I beg of y’all stop himboafying this man, I get he’s big and strong but he’s not dumb😭

A. Mischas smart guys!!!! I get alot of actors portray him struggling with English at times but y’all got to remember fluency ≠ intelligence gance. it’s like his 3rd language cut him some slack. he speaks Ukrainian, Russian, English, and even some Dutch ( not even the Dutch speak Dutch)

B. Just look at his saw6 monologue! Man had an in-depth video essay explaining on a horror movie just ready to go when ocean put him on the spot

C. Mischa can be incredibly eloquent with his words when he wants to be. Ex his Talia monologue/ when he tells Noel he knows what clichés are

2. Listen Im obsessed with Gus halper so I get it we love his mischa BUT DONT COMMENT ABOUT HIM ON NON GUS MISCHAS

Talia

———

1. Stop 👏 hating 👏 on 👏 Talia 👏

A. I’ve seen so many people make Talia just a straight bitch in fanfics to justify Mischa not being with her and that feels weird to me

2. The amount of people I’ve seen straight up hating on Talia for doing absolutely nothing but “stand in the way of nischa” is wild. Like I don’t get how you can look at her, a character who doesn’t even have a single line and be like ya no fuck you

Ricky

————

1. I revoke my previous statement , I’ve seen some people ( mostly rp accounts) be weird ableist to not only Ricky as a character but his actors and I don’t need to explain why that’s gross

Jane

————

1. Honestly I don’t have anything to say here I haven’t really seen anything granted it is pretty hard to mess up a character who’s whole point is shes a blank slate

Constance

————

1. I think a lot of the fandom is guilty of seeing constance as just the “ sweet nice wholesome mom friend of the group” when (to me at least) the whole point of Constance was that people thought she was this, was because the never bothered to get to know her past that .

2. In her monologue it’s heavily hinted at that Constance was suffering with depression leading up to the cyclone.

A. Ontop of this we can see throughout musical she was self deprecating “Lost her virginity in a crap box in a crappy town, why of course she did.” you should always laugh at guys jokes otherwise they’ll think your a cow” AND PEOPLE DONT TALK ABOUT THSI ENOUGH

3. Also I dont get the “mom of the group” thing. Like she was nice to everyone and ocean mentioned that she baked but that’s about it

4. I don’t thinks it’s acknowledged enough that Constance was SAd. I don’t care if she wanted to loose her virginity, shes under aged and by Constance’s own emissions the carny was in his 30s

The fandom

————

1. Listen I love some angst as much as the next person but there’s a difference between angst and just some straight up hurt p*rn (especially with ocean, again wtf is y’all hate boner for her) I’ve seen literal SA fics written about her wtf

2.This one goes out specifically to you rtc rp accounts😘😘😘 (both on and off this app) there’s a time and a place to rp guys

A. If you're talking to other rp accounts then pop off. But That being said I’ve seen a lot of rp accounts bleed over into non rp post/ videos, while this is normally fine I’ve seen quite a few accounts pushing their head cannons on other non rp accounts as if their facts or an authority on the matter. Again nothing wrong with rp accounts / sharing your head cannons, just time and place guys

3. Look I get it plenty of the actors/ actresses that have been in rtc are attractive but some of y’all need to remember the characters themselves ARE CHILDREN

4. On the topic of the actors/ actresses some of y’all need to learn what boundaries are 

5. I saw someone try to pull some pro ship bullshit with the characters once and it haunts me

Rtc

——-

Listen. I absolutely love ride the cyclone, I’ve been hyper fixatingon it for the past years now that being said I’ve seen more than enough productions to get my fair share of opinions on it

1. Real Ukrainian war footage in Talia

A. It feels in very poor taste at best and just strange up gross at worst to the situation at hand. I get it Mischa’s Ukrainian and that’s a very important part to his character but that doesn’t mean you need to throw real war footage to the end of the song.

B. Talia and mischa story as a whole is tragic enough as is. You don’t need to add in the fact that on top of Talia possibly not even being real we’re now throwing in the possibility that she died in the war? It just seems like over kill to me.

2: Ricky’s disability being written out of the script was really gross. Like I get it they wanted to avoid another yannick situation but this like the worst possible way to go about it

There probably more but I’ve been at this for like 2 hrs (I’m going to update this as things come to me so stay tuned)

[wormsin]

I’ve followed you since your Hannibal days and honestly, I have—had? no interest at all with superhero genre, so whenever I see you post something about it, I am like that meme asking you “are you winning son?” and cheering for you from afar.

Until you post your daily whumptober fills, and now I have a vague interest, about Batman/Bruce and Robin/Dick, yet also within a quite specific setting? A gothic-noir genre one—it just struck me out of nowhere and now I cant get it out of my mind—of which I tried to find posts about it but I ended up not finding anything that could sate this.. let’s call it unique vague interest.

Anyway, sorry for being convoluted, but what I’m trying to say or ask is that, I would like to hear your opinions about their relationship and whether they can be read through gothic-noir genre?

ahahaha 😈

(listen. I was completely blindsided by my Batman & Robin obsession last year, because I had been tired of the superhero genre since Iron Man 2 came out. I have been bored and disinterested in superheroes for over a decade, and *never* read superhero comics. it is mostly not my thing!

however, Batman the Animated Series was the first show I watched as a kid, and Batman and Robin were deeply foundational for me. so as soon as I dipped my toes back in, it was all over for me. and here I am now, writing fucked up BruDick!)

you are in very good luck, actually! Batman has been many things, but noir and gothic are both huge influences. Frank Miller's Batman Year One (1987) is super noir, was the real kickoff for dark, gritty Batman. then in the 1989, Burton brought the campy gothic in the movie Batman. this was a big inspiration for the gothic aesthetic of Batman the Animated Series. (Batman was noir earlier than that as well, but those are notable moments in Batman history.)

Batman suits the genres extremely well—Bruce is always brooding with a dramatic inner monologue; he struggles with Gotham as a city with a personality, a supernatural force; he is haunted by his parents, his legacy, and the villains he faces; he is always going for the female fatales; he lives in a fucking mansion over an underground cave filled with bats. let's not forget that he is a detective! there are a number of canon comics and other media that are in the gothic-noir (or just gothic) genre, and there are some awesome fanfics!

noir-gothic:

dead men are heavier than broken hearts by spaceisgay

gothic:

We Have Always Lived in the Manor by themadwomanwhoisunfortunatelylackingabox

Magnificently Cursed by @mysterious-aud-lou (not complete yet)

I will reblog this with some of my own thoughts about Them in this genre (gothic is maybe my favorite genre). when I am less exquisitely busy.

[spicy-cannoli]

The Dehumanisation of the Saiki Brothers

Sooo since y’all seemed to like it last time, here’s part two of late night rambles by Lia!! This time we’ll be focusing on the self dehumanisation both Saiki brothers seem to have and where exactly it came from!!

(Drawing I drew earlier today to break the monotony)

So, I’m sure all of us have notices Saiki constantly calls himself not human. The way he does it vary, either saying he’s so different he’s a different species, or saying he no longer counts as human. Whatever the way, our boy does not see himself as a normal human.

He uses this lack of humanity as an excuse for his lack of friends, but tbh I feel like there’s more to that than a simple coping mechanism.

(Example of Saiki calling himself a different species)

Like before, we’re gonna dig deep to their childhood to see where it started. Let’s start with Kuusuke.

I thinkkk Kuusuke is only two years older than Kusuo. Two years is probably young enough that he never realised just how smart he was.

In Kuusuke’s eyes, he’s a normal person. Then Kusuo gets born. Kusuo is anything but normal. Psychic powers aside, his early development happened at a rapid pace, so of course a young Kuuske couldn’t help but feel threatened.

As fast as he developed however, Kusuo was still a child, so before he even got to primary school, in both of the brother’s head, Kuusuke was a normal child, and Kusuo was abnormal.

This ended up affecting both children differently. In Kuusuke’s case, he developed an inferiority complex, seeing Kusuo as the superior being. Sure he found out other people weren’t as smart as him, but instead of seeing himself as superior to them, he saw them as inferior to him. To him, he was the norm, and they where less than human (I think he calls them ants?? But that might be from a fanfic idk).

This, of course, doesn’t make them worthless. While he doesn’t tend to care for random people, from where I see things he’s never put people in mortal peril, the few times he did he was sure Kusuo would save the day. To him, people are like, say, dogs. Another species all together, not necessarily bad not good.

Kusuo on the other hand, took it on a different way. He sees himself as different from others, so he can’t help but to feel as if he doesn’t fit in. His only equal (or close to) would be his super genius brother, but because Kuusuke doesn’t consider them as equals and keeps forcing Kusuo into “battles” and games he doesn’t want to play, Kusuo doesn’t see it that way.

Since a very young age, Kusuo has felt as if he doesn't belong. Not only that but the only time Kusuo made a friend, a lot of kids ended up hurt, so past the Akechi(?) incident he not only sees himself as a different species, but also a dangerous one that hurts people.

He dreams of being average (fitting in) to the point of obsession (seriously that ain't healthy) wishes to lose his very useful powers because in his eyes, they're what make him different. tbh i see Kusuo's rejection of his powers the same way internalised homophobia works. (at least in my case) you feel different, like no one in your life gets you, and feel like you'll never get the happy ending you want unless you change, but you cant change.

Saiki feels like he’s different, he doesn’t fit in, he hurts people, and also is hiding a HUGE secret from everyone.

All of that said, at the beginning of the manga, this scene happened.

And Kusuo had a lightbulb moment. That entire chapter he’s been saying how it’s impossible for him to make friends, since they’re not even the same species, yet when that little girl mentions how her best friend is a dog, the idea gets past his defences.

Oh yeah, people can have friends of different species huh?

Sure it doesn’t fix all of his problems, but one of the biggest walls was knocked down right there.

(Also have you noticed how most of the people Saiki let’s hang out with him all have some sort of double life? He relates to Kaidou’s chunnibyo-ness, even his his powers are real. Aaren’s secret past is like how Saiki also has a secret he ain’t telling his friends. Even Nendou’s and Teruhashi personality vs looks thing, none of his friends are what they seem at first glance (except perhaps Yumehara…). Idk it’s probably a gag but I like how he surrounds himself with similar kinds of people. )

Then come Aiura and Toritsuka! Saiki finally finds people like him. Sure they’re not exactly the same, but it’s people he doesn’t have to keep a secret from, who unlike his dad and brother, aren’t obsessed with using/beating him. (Well… Aiura isn’t).

Tbh I consider Aiura Kusuo’s most important friend, they both have something they relate to and seem to enjoy each other’s company without his typical tsundere double speak. Tbh the only thing setting her back is the insistence that they’re soulmates. Maybe it’s bc I hate lack of choice but the idea I cant make my own future kinda pisses me off and I think being told who he’ll end up with annoys Saiki. If it weren’t for that I’d probably hella ship it, but for now it’s my #3 ship. (After #1 aro/ace saiki and #2 Satou/Saiki) Platonic soulmates ftw.

Ugh I kinda got way out of topic but am too lazy to edit it… I’m sorry, have a Saiki bros interaction as an apology, byeeee!!