#like. Yeah. ok buddy. very normal backstory for a normal guy

[realbeefman]

the fact that house's backstory is essentially "there was this guy in a hospital i went to as a kid and EVERYBODY hated him. but he was crazy smart so they had to talk to him sometimes" is genuinely soooo unhinged. imagine watching a member of an oppressed minority group undergo brutal systemic and social discrimination at a formative age and going “omg life goals 😍”

[transsexualhamlet]

the many sins of tokyo ghoul :re

or: 13 reasons why :re is fucking terrible not clickbait

Disclaimer: I think no matter how long this post gets I’m missing something, so let’s just outline the worst ones. And I mean to be transparent, the only reason I actually read :re was so I could make this post... (and bc i wanted to see the what, five panels of hide) Well, I couldn’t stand hating it without evidence beyond hearsay and General Vibes. But I knew it was gonna be bad, I knew it was going to ruin me jesus christ. Obviously I’m not hating on people that like it, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with genuinely enjoying it (I do genuinely enjoy parts of it, and by parts i mean chapters 1-50 with exceptions and 75) I think it’s wonderful if you can derive joy from it (lmao) but I can say that through my lens in life, there’s so much fucking wrong with this goddamn fucking piece of shit manga and I feel the need to yell about it because i am ✨autism✨ so let’s get going (this is r e a l l y long just a warning)

tl;dr Ishida stay in your fucking lane

1. Transphobia and Homophobia:

alright here we are first off with the big one and if I had to choose, one of Ishida’s greatest sins here. It’s quite unusual in mangas like these to have any sort of representation for such things in and of itself, and yeah of course that annoys me, but having no represntation at all is like so much better than getting actively harmful representation. Most manga that aren’t specifically about those things shy away from those topics, and it’s tiring but it’s normal. You wouldn’t want a mangaka to try to write about something like that without experience or informed opinions. So I say if you can’t write something correct, just don’t write something like that in at all. Ishida clearly,,, does not get this.

And it’s not just the case of Mutsuki, who, well, gets it bad enough, there are three full fucking trans characters Ishida made like, just to shit on. 

Big Madame- god, made like that specifically to perpetuate the predatory trans woman trope jesus christ is Ishida friends with JK fuckface Rowling. Ah yes the ugly, human trafficking, predatory, pedophilic killer that tried to make their male child more feminine? Has a dick. Really? Could you be a single bit more transparent about your fucking agenda here? I really don’t have to say much here.

Kanae von Fuckwald- Technically Ishida says here that basically this bitch was just like??? Pretending to be a guy for years just to what?? I don’t even know?? Get together with Tsukiyama? Cause he’s fucking gay or something? I don’t even get it but like i read this post yesterday and that’s a whole ass thermian argument. It’s like “oh well this is fine because well this person’s not actually trans and therefore the representation thing doesn’t apply”... it’s useless. You created the character that way and you made it intentionally to for whatever way promote this idea that people would “pretend” to be a different gender and that eventually they’ll realize that it’s a “lie” and they never really wanted it. This is what you’re saying about the real people who are,,, actually trans? Jesus christ. Also thinking that a twink like that would be trans? God yeah trans guys can be feminine but buddy that’s clearly not what you’re going for here.

And of course, Mutsuki- There’s just... so much wrong here. I mean like. Before we even get into anything about his character and what they did to him let me just discuss his entire design. Buddy like if you had to choose one person in that show to be trans that’s the least likely one. Ah yes, the feminine one. With the androgynous haircut and the shy disposition and the physical weakness compared to the others. God that’s like, a fujoshi’s take on ao3 of what character should be trans. As much as yeah of course, trans guys can be feminine, they are in no way obligated to be such and you shouldn’t make them more so to be more “believably” so. Ask any actual trans person ever. A character like that is just perpetuating the notion of trans guys being inherently more feminine or trying to pretend to be otherwise.ThEn, of course, there’s the ridiculous sexualization, infantilization and fetishization of this character, going through a thousand plot hurdles to make him constantly stripped, put in girls clothing, chased by perverts, assaulted, ET FUCKING CETERA. Give him a fUCKING BREAK. Creating this character the way he’s portrayed in canon (including so called backstory of murdering parents because of sexual and physical abuse) is perpetuating a notion that someone would be a trans guy because of internalized misogyny and/or trauma instead of because they’re just... a guy. It’s just it’s just it’s just Really bad. Plus taking his character, demonizing him and making him like, supposedly love haise (which i Really hate for a thousand reasons, god that’s like, a parent and child type relationship they have there not romantic,,, god,,,) try to like fucking murder touka and stop seeing sense, and then just... return him to being infantalized. God. Jesus christ fucking goddamn it I love Mutsuki and he deserves better.

Oh yeah and then the homophobia, this one’s smaller because... most of the trans people are here to go “it’s gay... wait it’s not Really gay so it’s ok” but I would like to leave a small note here for all the gay characters who got thrown under the bus not just in re but in the original, like, you know, Nico and shit? I really do not know shit about Nico but all the things about Jason? God if I had a thing for one person that you shouldn’t try to portray as representation it’s Jason. IDK what’s up with him and Naki but god it wasn’t healthy. (i’d like to say here that i love naki and i think naki deserves the world but honey there are better heroes than yamori) Anyway yeah I think that’s also bullshit and Ishida should stay in his fucking lane. (or her i guess, i just feel like it’s probably a guy bc of just... so much sexism)

Ok, now that we have the big one out of the way-

2. The mishandling of portrayals of various mental illnesses:

I’m not an expert on this one like I can say about the gays TM but just like in general, the whole manga’s very messy and portrays a lot of gritty stuff, and Ishida clearly attempts to throw in some mental illness for fun, but god fUcking damn it they’re bad. I couldn’t really even give you examples bc it’s pretty widespread and i’m stupid, but it was really like trump throwing paper towels “and you get a demonization, and you get an infantalization, and you get a butchered character, and you get a fetishization-”

3. Ishida having no fucking clue how science works

This particular factoid led me to have a very hard time reading this manga because it went from being about like, yknow, torture and fights and crying and stuff to weird experimentation bullshit and mutated whatever and everyone’s a hybrid now I guess. When I heard this thing about the quinxes, I thought that made no sense, because I was like “yeah but wait,,, how tf does that work didn’t Ishida say earlier that kagune literally were fueled by human meat isn’t that like the entire point the ccg is against?” and then Ishida’s explanation of how they’re not just exactly like Kaneki is that “oh yeah well there’s like, metal around it, so it’s different.” OH YEAH OK THAT MAKES PERFECT SENSE NOW, THANKS.

The thing is... there’s no way of actually regulating that. You couldn’t move a kagune unless it was attached to your cells, and if it’s attached man, it’s attached and it’s part of you. Also yelling “frame two” won’t like make it any bigger lmao, either you’re gonna have it based on theoretical science in this universe or you’re going to have a dumb supernatural magic pokemon fight deal. The whole thing makes no sense. The science issue isn’t just about this either, it’s also about how the entire thing basically undermines the point of the whole story. When you blur the lines between human and ghoul with little to no real rules or basis in real science, every rule kind of just becomes cheap plot convenience.

So the Quinxes can eat human food unless they use their kagune too much, alright, but Kaneki couldn’t eat human food before he’d even ever used his though the only difference between their bodies was this,,, theoretical metal thing?? And Haise... was never really covered, before he went black hair emo bastard and like vored Eto, did he eat human food like the rest of the CCG? He certainly cooked it. And the squad that lived with him wasn’t aware he was a ghoul until he pulled out the kagune. So I’d assume so, but then how could he have a kagune, how could he survive when his body still was like that?

Is it the RC suppressents? Then couldn’t he just have taken those and lived as a human the entire time? Is that all he fucking needed, is that the only difference between human and ghoul? It doesn’t make sense and the rules are bent so much they don’t function anymore. Ishida like write down your rules somewhere even if they’re bullshit, they shouldn’t contradict each other.

Damn man I’m not even going to go into the dumbass rules of the half humans or the special fast aging thing or the fucking,,, folded up cells deal,,, or the Imagination Kagune, or the fucking,,, Dragon, or the zombie ghoul apocalypse or the “whole new species made of just kagune” i don’t even have the time it is fucking ridiculous and I can’t even with it. Physics. Laws of physics. If not biology, at least follow physics Ishida??? Please???? And if you’re not you need to do that consistently??

4. character glow ups actually being character glow downs 

(with the exception of nishiki, he baby now, and akira, i think her development was valid af)

God, this one gets me every time. Touka was cool. Touka was fucking badass, she had a complex character with many motivations and wants, and in the original having her eventually kind of soften bc of Kaneki is valid. But taking her and turning her into like literally nothing but Pretty Housewife Yearning For Husband At War? God, kill me. She’s a strong person. She can like Kaneki without the guy being her only character trait. Also uh, Touka and Kaneki being a couple was valid before this change, now I honestly can’t stomach it. Like they were the kind of “both bisexual” m/f couple that we stan. No longer I guess.

She’s the most egregious example, but I’d also like to point out Juuzou, not everything they changed about him is bad, honestly we fucking stan his knife legs, but he’s kind of like a rip off L now? You got rid of his ~unhinged~, we do not stan. I’m on the fence about him bc i think that kind of is a valid transition to adulthood and I guess he’s grown up, but again, why change his fucking hair color? What is the explanation for this?

Also Hinami. I mean, I don’t really care about her a lot in general, but it’s weird to see her as like an adult when Ayato emo boy looks like exactly the fucking same and they’re like,,, supposedly the same age. 

There are definitely more I’m missing here. Honestly, Hide was valid. God him with his fucking burlap sack. With a fucking lenny face on it. I can’t with him. That’s so Hide. But there were some bad ones.

5. one hair color change was my limit, enough said

black white black and white black white more white god bitch get some variety

6. Showing me great new characters and then promptly ruining them

And you can tell this one’s about quinx squad, my favorite bastard children. God, I love them. They’re the only good things about Re other than Hide and Haise and like everything else, Ishida took them and went “what if i *guts*” god why. I love these kids with all my heart. Why. Why. Why did you do that to Mutsuki. Why as soon as Haise isn’t in the room they all get themselves tangled up with pedos. Why they gotta break up the squad. Why make all of them lose all the wholesomeness and lessons they learned from Haise. Why do you ruin them all with weird unreciprocated random crushes on each other when they’re like basically siblings. Why fuckinG KILL SHIRAZU HE IS THE APPOINTED CHIEF DUMBASS OF THE SQUAD WHY HIM. WHY. WITH SO LITTLE IMPACT. YOU COULD FUCKING MISS IT SO EASILY. THAT’S NOT RIGHT. AND KANEKI JUST FUCKING ABANDONS THEM BC HE HAS HIS MEMORIES AGAIN N O ? NO ACTUALLY NO.

7. the casual racism and sexism :)

i just :) can you stop having girls constantly bring themselves down for being female :) and making them be oversexualized, less full characters :) always in some way connected to a guy :) more weak and hurt more often :) my fucking god :) also yeah it’s way less prevalent but there were a few racist caricatures thrown in there for taste if you don’t know how to draw lips just don’t

8. Ishida being too much of a pissbaby for a real death scene

Basically: undermining the impact of “deaths” fom the first series while also randomly and badly killing off new characters. Oh that character that died in the original in a really cinematic way that made you cry and think about the meaning of life and how beautifully tragic this story was? Oh lol they’re not Actually dead. (x10) Doing that with Hide (at least in the manga, not the anime, god root A really did it with him but we’re not talking about that) was valid, seeing as I love him your honor and in the manga one of the lessons that his character hinges on was like in chapter 75 to live on instead of giving up even if it hurts and all that... (this is obviously kind of the opposite from root A where his character was like more about sacrificing for kaneki since kaneki had already done so much, i think both are valid but we’re Talking About The Manga) he was done well. That was right (even though i think they should have done More of it) but there were so many characters this kind of thing was done to without the proper adjustment in the handling of the messages given here. 

Like with Koma and Irimi, who,,, honestly should have stayed dead because their entire character arc kinda ended there and showed how they were sorry for their actions and this was how they were making it up. And then they just like... come back. And fight more. Really? This wasn’t the only instance either, same deal with Shinohara (though him coming back made me cry) it like, kind of undermines it if you’re going to have Juuzou derive his character development from that. Either Juuzou gets to keep his unhinged and his dad, or he loses his dad for real and he also grows up. God guys choose. What’s the message you’re playing here. (at least they kept Yoshimura dead, his death made me cry and I would have stabbed something if it wasn’t real, probably Ishida.) And even with Kaneki himself, god, if he can’t die from being stabbed straight through the fucking eye, what COULD kill him? It really diminishes the anxiety you feel about “omg is this person gonna die i want them to be ok” if they basically evade the laws of physics and their own previous character arcs 70 times. I’m definitely forgetting more of the same, Ishida can’t write a good death, he needed the anime writers to do it for him.

9. Kaneki. Just. Kaneki. 

God they fucking butchered this man. I could go on about his character is weird and confusing in the manga from the beginning, but we’re focusing on mostly all his weird :re character development, the bad handling of Haise and his memories, and all his iterations.

Before I read :re, what I could glean from fanart and the occasional fic that wasn’t tagged properly was really confusing and kind of a mixed bag. I knew Haise was Kaneki but without his memories, now in the ccg trying to be a pacifist and going :DDDDD a lot yknow. And what I came up with in my own mind for that change was a deal of (this makes more sense with the anime canon tbh, the manga honestly doesn’t do any of this well) like Kaneki after The Shit Went Down With Hide (whichever canon you’d like to interpret that as) he basically realized that he really couldn’t be a ghoul, he didn’t want to be, he didn’t want to hurt people and he wanted to be happy and make other people happy instead of what he thought was right before (trying to fight to protect others on his own etc) because that mentality had gotten people he loved hurt, and well subconsciously I guess that kind of factored into his development into Haise and maybe caused his memory loss (along with the, yknow, shanked eye.) So when I started to read it that kind of checked out, this is what he’s trying so hard to be now. But then this whole bullshit of the whole other like, 37 different versions of kaneki complicated things. 

Haise was scared that when he got his memories back he would cease to be, well, Haise, and he would just like revert back to what he was before everything. Which I can understand him being scared of and I think was a good point in the plot for him to worry about that, but I was like “oh honey don’t worry that’s not how it works” and was kind of vying for him to eventually get his memories back, come to terms with the fact that those were his memories, he did do those things, he was half a ghoul, and maybe come back to his original fight of wanting to bring the humans and ghouls together, still caring about his human people in the ccg and all. That development was real, and it wouldn’t just go away if he got his memories back, he learned a lot and grew a lot and he has a different outlook on life now. Right?

Fucking wrong I guess. Dude gets his memories back (very ambiguously, it was really hard to tell when that even happened tbh) and like. Turns into a flaming ass looking like ebony darkness dementia raven way. Haise gone. Fucking completely. No trace left. Doesn’t care about his kids anymore. When he’s done with that and goes white again he’s just Kaneki again and there’s really not enough left of things that like, really wouldn’t go away? He loses the flair? The dumbass? The :D? The Extra? WHY? Why would those things go away? Haise shouldn’t have been right that he would disappear when he got back his memories. That killed me. I love Kaneki and all but H a i s e. He is my b o y. H i m. With his e n e r g y  s h o r t s. And his m o m. And his c o o k i n g. And his k i d s, I l o v e him. And Ishida doesn’t seem to realize that they’re... literally the same person. Haise isn’t just some stupid bastard occupying Kaneki’s body, he’s a valid part of Kaneki himself and to be honest, peak Kaneki. Should have stayed that way. Would have been great for Hide tbh. Not just having him pretty much revert to his old self, but basically respond equally to both names and balance the world between human and ghoul. I would have loved that. What happened for real? It doesn’t make sense and it breaks my heart.

Some people on the interwebz try to kind of even that whole deal out by trying to say he like, has DID, which although is obviously a valid thing, like, so does not apply to him. God I’m like so not an expert on this but I feel like it’s not that hard to tell. His 87 little Kanekis in his head aren’t separate personas, they’re metaphorical representations of his past morals, experiences, and ideologies that all conflict. Again Haise here is peak conflict because when he gets his memories back, he has all these different conflicting ideas that were all previously separate. They’re all him. Tortured Kaneki constantly yelling at him in Jason’s chamber is basically again, a metaphor for how he’s denying his ghoulhood and the trauma that he’s been dealt. It’s not that this dude still exists just the way he is ready to show up at any moment lmao. Ishida kind of dealt with that badly too because Haise really said

after his memories happened so I can see why people might, but it’s... not right, and it’s Ishida’s fault about that which is Incorrect

Also just blanket statement, black reaper Kaneki? Fuck him and all he stands for. 0% valid. I can excuse literally every other version of him. But wh y. God he leaves the room and Urie starts misusing his power and getting groomed by a pedo, Saiko is just, left behind and sad, Mutsuki gets captured by a perv and mentally destroyed again, Shirazu dies and the bitch is like like “lol it’s your fault” yeah helpful, die

10. P- the- the porn chapter-

Idk about you but that was so fucking unecessary??? Not even going off of how terribly awkward and weird it was to have it there when the opening was “i’m sad about my best friend who’s gonna get executed what do you do when you’re sad about your best friend” “i simply do not think of him or i might actually just curl up and die” “yo lmao same” “wanna fuck” Like ok um I’m biased bc i’m not straight but I like, really hated that. Even just flipping through the pages as fast as I could to get to the end of it like. God. It’s not a fucking hentai. I’m here for the plot. If you’re not gonna release the director’s cut of kaneki fucking voring hide, i don’t think i need to see 20 pages of straight fucking sex. And if you absolutely must have porn, kaneki is a fucking bottom. That man gets pegged do not try to prove otherwise. You started it out that way god I love how they’re like “oh god wait that looks kind of gay, the woman being dominant, better stop that right now” god Ishida not having a single iota of knowlege about his own characters aND THEN SHE GETS PREGNANT? NO. Excuse me. No. I just. I. Why. This isn’t. A fucking porno. This isn’t tentacle porn i swear oh my god kill me

11. Giving the wrong characters attention

Basically, redeeming characters that should have been redeemed and not going into/discussing characters that should have been redeemed/had more backstory. For example, Tsukiyama can go fucking die. I like, do not even care rich boy. I don’t understand how anyone could think he needed to be redeemed he’s just a gay attention whore who really needs to let this kid get on with his merry fucking life. I don’t care. I literally did not need to read three whole books about his dumbass hangup over eating Kaneki. Kaneki doesn’t fucking want you bitch move on. He didn’t need to be redeemed or seen to be in any way sympathetic, no one wanted it. Same with that bitch ass Furuta, he wasn’t really redeemed but he was given w a y too much time to play out his sob story. God man Rize doesn’t fucking want you. These gross ass simps. I swear.

On the other hand, I kind of liked Eto even though she’s a pile of shit, and I got mad when they didn’t really go into much about her. And you know who could have gotten much more screen time/development? TOUKA. God, I love her and she was just sitting around in the background being straight. Let her have some spicy development. Also obviously, Hide. He was... so underappreciated and underexplained? What happened with him? He didn’t just pick himself off the ground in the sewers and go ‘well i’d better get back to the ccg now’ we have a whole two years which are completely unexplained, most of which he was off mysteriously being involved in things but completely missing the eye of Haise and other major players. Where tf was he? How did he get around? What was he even doing??? I wanna know about that! Not all the characters I hate’s tragic backstories that make me feel 0% more sympathetic towards them :)

12. ARE WE ALL JUST GONNA COLLECTIVELY IGNORE THE WHOLE VORE THING???

Ok like i know i say “the entire reason I read :re was __” but like to be honest this was the turning point, I saw pictures of hide’s vore face and went like

So I was like “god fucking damn it ok, Ishida would you care to explain this to me” *cracks open re*

And then they DIDN’T.

Like. It’s actually laughable how much that entire situation was just glossed over. They gave that maybe like two pages. Like what. I. This manga has more sex scene than no homoing that. They just don’t even bother to. I feel like Ishida had that as a plot point but realized halfway in how it looked (i.e., really fucking gay) and decided that was something that he was just gonna, not deal with. Just act like that’s a completely normal heterosexual bro thing to do. Like of course anywhere would be pretty gay but Kaneki chose his face. His face. Like his face and his wholeass neck and his shoulders and nowhere else. (and assumedly like, his tongue, seeing as how the dude can’t talk... bruh) Dude really said extreme hickey. French kiss to the max. Ishida clearly did realize that generally, you can only get a bitten off face by,,, having your face bitten off, which is just inherently really fucking gay. Like, I’m just at a loss as to how it even makes sense. You wouldn’t think that the skin off his face, and specifically around his mouth, would really be the most nutritious thing to consume? I can get like the shoulders but generally you’d think something like his arm or leg would be 1.less inconvenient, and 2.much more logical and nutritious? But NO, Kaneki was like “you know what i’m gonna do? eat your Face” and hide’s like “lmao sounds cool”

(not to mention, wasn’t there another guy with a vore face somewhere? like that old guy in the ccg with the bigass turtleneck, i wanna know about him) But like... my bro Ishida went “yeah this happened but i’m going to cover it up with speech bubbles and the ends of panels guys they clearly had their socks on” Dude didn’t even TRY to explain otherwise. Like hey man, that’s pretty damn gay, you are kind of at liberty to either tell me why otherwise, or accept those implications and acknowledge them?? It’s really hilarious when you ignore it cause it’s like

kind of

pretty damn

WEAK of you to leave it at that fucking pissbaby

hmmmmmmmmm however could this happen i guess we’ll never know

13. What the fuck was even the plot omg

God I’ve been writing this post for like five hours so like, I’ll keep it short but like it made sense in the original, not to be like an anime fan but the anime made fucking sense (not re i mean like the original) this lore is so fucking stupid god, the horrors of the entire fucking dragon arc bleach my eyes, unresolved plotlines who???? (the whole ‘oh yeah also ur dying of old age’ thing etc, is kaneki like??? still doing that?? or was that randomly resolved with the whole spewing ovary bullshit i’m going to fucking kill myself) and to top it off, good job Ishida at a real fucking cheap ending. 

You gave them. Fake human. Really? They just come up with artificial human at the end. Kind of undermines the entire fucking story my guy. Ah yes throw out our whole plot. That was the whole tragedy. You gotta eat human. The ghouls have to eat human and that’s tragic bc they have to kill people or whatever. Or i guess they fucking don’t well fucking ok. God you could have just had them negotiate a kind of peace where the ghouls can get dead humans and such, there are plenty of them and no one has to kill anyone then, there could be a rule system for it, it would be messy but eventually everyone would be ok with it, and I think that would work a lot better than “quick fix i made some hamburger helper human you can eat it fine” guys wtf. It’s like Ishida started plotting out the ending for re approximately 2 hours before his deadline. Anyway yes I hate re and I love yelling about it thank you for coming to my ted talk.

[elizabear]

My Falcon and the Winter Soldier script predictions based solely on the “no homo” Steve/Bucky hate crimes that were Captain America: Civil War and Avengers: Endgame—

SAM: So you’re not mad that Steve gave me the shield instead of you.

BUCKY: Steve who?

SAM: Steve Rogers, he was your best fucking friend. I am not dealing with your amnesia bullshit again, Barnes, I swear to God.

BUCKY: Oh, Steve ROGERS. No, it’s cool, Steve and I weren’t really even that close? It was just a casual platonic friendship. Honestly, I hardly even think about that guy. I guess I’m just too busy thinking about women and how aggressively heterosexual I am?

SAM: Dude, SAME.

******

SHARON: Hi, it’s me, Sharon Carter. Remember how I was in previous Captain America movies?

SAM: No?

BUCKY: No.

SHARON: That’s OK. I’m easy to forget because I never had any real character development. I’m basically just a female body! Anyway, I’m here to be female at you again?

SAM: Oh, cool. Are you going to get any character development this time?

SHARON: *has a female body*

BUCKY: OK, so no.

*****

ZEMO: So my plan in Captain America: Civil War was a huge success! I’m going to try the same thing again. Do either of you have any overly intimate but chaste male friendships that are your only weakness? Any old schoolyard and battlefield pals from whom you are non-romantically inseparable?

SAM: Not really? I guess there’s my mechanic. We talk a lot about straight bro things like cars and airplanes.

BUCKY: I belong to some Internet forums for heterosexual assassins where we discuss my only interests guns and murder.

ZEMO: Aren’t you guys still friends with Steve even though he’s old now?

BUCKY AND SAM: Steve who?

ZEMO: Steve Rogers? The guy with such powerful friendship charisma that one of you followed him on an obsessive quest to bring down a government agency and reunite with the other one purely on the basis of one conversation?

BUCKY AND SAM: Oh, Steve ROGERS.

SAM: Steve went to the past and reunited with his one and only true love Peggy Carter, did you hear?

ZEMO: Really? That’s super sweet. So is that in this timeline or another one or what?

BUCKY AND SAM: What?

*****

BUCKY AND SAM: *ten minute conversation about grilling meat*

*****

RANDOM MALE CHARACTER:

BUCKY: I don’t swing that way, pal!

SAM: I don’t swing that way either!

*****

BUCKY AND SAM: *ten minute conversation about Family Guy and video games*

*****

SAM: Do you want to make out?

SHARON: Won’t that be weird because of that time I made out with Steve?

SAM: Steve who?

SHARON: Steve Rogers? Possibly my great-uncle? It was in Captain America: Civil War?

SAM: Oh, Steve ROGERS. No, he was just a dude that I exchanged manly, sweaty, non-flirtatious banter with sometimes. Does it really violate the bro code if you’re barely friends with someone?

SHARON: Didn’t you quit your job and give up two entire years of your life to follow him around the globe in a desperate search for the man he pledged to be with “till the end of the line”?

SAM: That’s a totally reasonable thing to do for your running buddy when he is nonsexually missing his bestie. What are you accusing me of?

*****

SAM: So I made out with Sharon, Steve Rogers’s old girlfriend.

BUCKY: Yeah, dude, I know? I was right there when it happened. Remember how I was watching intensely and nodding approvingly?

SAM: Oh, right. Yeah, that was a completely normal amount of voyeuristic interest to show in my dating life. It definitely didn’t start out as a very hetero sign of support and then continue on to become really uncomfortable for everyone.

BUCKY: I’m just so into women.

*****

SHARON: Good thing Zemo’s plan depended upon you two being codependent enough to be willing to sacrifice your lives for each other. I guess that was his only move? Your purely functional work relationship really foiled his whole plot.

SAM: Yep, Bucky and I made an exceptionally adequate team. Sharon, do you want to end this adventure with some PG13 innuendo and some strong hints at our developing heterosexual relationship?

SHARON: Sure, I don’t have any backstory so I have literally nothing else to do.

BUCKY: OK, well, fun times, call me next time you need a straight teammate for whatever. I’m off to pick up a random attractive woman you’ll never see again and a nice old lady for a double date with Steve.

SAM AND SHARON: Steve who?

[forasecondtherewedwon]

Spin Again if Not in the Lead

Pairing: Peter Parker x Michelle Jones (Spideychelle) Rating: M (non-explicit sexual content) Word count: 3163 @spideychelleweek​

Spideychelle Week Day 1: Road Trip

Summary: According to the game's original slogan, “You will learn about life when you play The Game of Life.”

According to MJ, you'll learn about capitalism, aardvark care, and how to go on the road trip of a lifetime without leaving your boyfriend's apartment.

“One, two, three, four,” MJ counts out defiantly, her plastic car clicking more with every space she taps it against before coming to rest beside the chapel. She glares at Peter and Ned expectantly. They must hate playing board games with her, she assumes―Life in particular―but they keep inviting her, and she keeps saying yes.

“Since you landed there anyway…” Ned begins to point out.

“I stopped because that’s how many moves the spinner gave me, not because I’m obeying that stop sign.”

“All you have to do is add another little plastic thingy to your car!”

“I don’t have to do anything.”

“You had to stop,” Ned argues while Peter remains anxiously silent.

“The fact that the game makes you stop your life for marriage only demonstrates the inherent evil of the institution. Look how little time I got to be in college,” MJ says, gesturing to the short opening stretch of the board. “How about I just go back to the start and get another degree instead?”

“You’re supposed to get married here. It’s one of the milestones in the game. Job, marriage, house,” Ned lists. “That’s Life.”

His last remark was a little on the nose, MJ thinks, but it still makes her mad.

“I am not picking a spouse out of that plastic baggie. What does the spouse even contribute in this game? They don’t chip in on the house or make auto insurance payments. They don’t even have a job!”

“Children―”

“Don’t need a spouse for that,” she counters.

“―and companionship.”

“If the game was about companionship, you’d be paired up with another player, not a tiny peg-shaped piece of plastic.”

“It’s pretend,” Ned insists. “If I pull Athlete for the career card, I’m not going to make a big deal about being too short to be a professional basketball player.”

MJ has a retort ready for that too, except Peter finally decides to intervene. It’s not with words, not at first, but with the vibrating whirl of the spinner as he takes his turn. He stops his car next to hers, though his spin allows him to move five more spaces. God. She rolls her eyes, assuming he’s braking for marriage. Though they’re good friends, pretty much best friends anymore, she sometimes feels like Peter doesn’t hear a single word she says.

(Fine, they’re dating, but it’s early days. She doesn’t want one game of Life to send it all tumbling down.)

“Get in,” he says and she glances sideways at him in confusion.

“What?”

“Take your person out of your car and put her in mine.”

“You’re solving this by making me get married to you?” She’s only blushing because she’s angry. These infuriating nerds. “That takes away the only control I have in this game―getting to drive my own car.”

“You can drive,” Peter offers, moving his blue peg-man to the passenger’s seat. “I don’t care.”

When he looks from his car to her face, she has her narrowed eyes ready for him.

“What are you doing, Parker?”

“Getting you out of here. Let’s say your peg is a runaway bride who’s changed her mind about the wedding and mine is a friend who stops to pick her up because the chapel’s on his way.”

Ok, she might be smiling a little.

“Hurry up,” he urges, “I still have five spaces to go before Ned can spin.”

“What if your peg-man is a kidnapper?”

“You think he has the kind of car a kidnapper would want? It’s bright yellow. Pretty conspicuous. Anyway, he’s not a kidnapper, he’s your friend from college. You’ve kept in touch and frequently debate the merits of going back to get a second degree.”

This gets a full-on snort of laughter out of her.

“Also,” Ned offers, “he probably understands enough about your character to realize you would never be happy getting married so young, but also knows how independent you are and that you had to make that decision for yourself without his input.”

“That’s a lot of backstory for Life,” she comments, looking from Ned to Peter.

“Yeah, well, right now our rich imaginations are depriving you of what I’m sure would’ve been a lovely wedding… I mean…” Ned corrects when MJ notices his best friend giving him a look. “…are giving you an excuse to break the established rules of the game.”

“Companionship?” Peter offers with a smile. “And maybe the board isn’t even our plastic people’s whole life―” Ned is ready to ram the instruction sheet into their faces at this, she can tell. “―maybe it’s just a road trip.”

“I could do a road trip,” MJ says, fitting her peg-person into the driver’s seat of Peter’s yellow car.

“Awesome. I warmed up the seat for you.”

“Gross. Don’t make me drive away while you’re in the bathroom at the next truck stop.”

“There are no truck stops in this game!” Ned protests. “There aren’t even trucks!”

“I think I hear your plastic wife reminding you to take your blood pressure medication,” she informs him flatly.

Peter advances their car the remaining spaces and their road trip is officially underway. They keep the order of their turns the same, which should mean that Peter and MJ’s car finishes the game while Ned’s only halfway through, except arguments crop up and their friend takes his turn in the meantime. They argue over picking a house (Peter favours the white picket fence while she insists, with their pooled salaries, that they should go for the biggest, most extravagant house, because why not?), which route to take at forks, and if they should buy a stock card. The baby spaces are the trickiest. Her face feels hot again and neither she nor her road trip buddy are making much effort to meet each other’s eye.

“Is this still a road trip?” Ned checks in, comfortably ahead of them with his plastic wife, two kids, and a dog. “You guys own a house together now.”

MJ finally darts a look at Peter.

“We’ll just say it’s a pet instead of a baby.”

Of course, then they argue about what kind of pet they adopted. She feels foolish and uncreative for suggesting a budgie when, with the height of the ceilings in their mansion, Peter says they could very reasonably keep a giraffe. Their compromise is, somehow, an aardvark. The aardvark gets make-believe packed into a make-believe aardvark carrier and they continue the road trip. The tranquility of their household only lasts until the next baby space. They pick up another pet. They hit another baby space. It’s a fucking minefield, MJ thinks, and she wants to call up the inventor of Life and have a serious talk with him (clearly a man) about his agenda. There should be more natural disasters (she and Peter have home and automobile insurance, so they’re not worried) and fewer trips to the maternity ward.

By the fourth baby space, she’s annoyed and having less fun debating the pet they should adopt in place of human offspring.

“This might be crazy,” Ned says sarcastically, “but you guys could just have a baby together this time.”

Peter makes a weird noise and MJ’s too flustered to look at him. Her companion recovers himself.

“We can’t take a newborn baby on a road trip,” he asserts. “Somebody would have to stay home with them.”

“I’m not staying home,” she says quickly.

All power to stay-at-home moms, but she doesn’t think she’d want to be one. Not that reality matters, obviously, because this is just a dumb board game pushing conformity.

“You idiots brought an aardvark!” Ned blurts. “I’m pretty sure you can handle a baby!”

“Fine,” MJ snaps. She can’t help it. Something about her friend’s words made it seem like a challenge. “Parker, you’re on baby duty.”

“What? I don’t know how to take care of a baby.”

She shrugs.

“Figure it out. I’m driving.”

“Then I’ll drive for a while and you can be on baby duty,” he counters.

“No way! Letting me drive was part of the deal!”

“The deal has evolved! We’re parents now! We need to redistribute our responsibilities!”

“Peter Parker,” MJ hisses, “I will turn this car around and go back to the chapel where I left my car.”

“Then who’s going to look after the baby while I’m driving? Our aardvark? Besides, you can’t start from way back there this far into the game. You’ll never catch up.”

“Oh yeah? I’ll lap you! Just watch!”

“And you just go flying by while I’m busy being a single parent? That’s not fair.”

“I’ll pay for private school,” she negotiates. “And flu shots and stuff, if you land on those spaces.”

He sighs.

“Maybe we shouldn’t do it. This baby is really complicating our lives and they’re not even in the car yet.”

The two of them contemplate the board.

“JUST HAVE SEX!” Ned yells.

Startled, MJ looks up at her friend.

“Uh,” he backtracks, “I mean, to have the baby. You can totally have a baby on a road trip.”

She doesn’t know about Peter, but she’s kinda doubting that Ned is that frustrated about them arguing over sticking a plastic baby in their car. He needs to say something to take that back and make the atmosphere normal again, not like it is now, with MJ practically jumping when Peter’s foot brushes hers. Unfortunately, Ned stands instead of fixing this awkward mess of emotions he’s created.

“Where are you going?” she demands.

“I’m done.”

This seems like more drama―like Ned’s done with them and their baby debate―until he points at where the looping Life highway ends. His car’s parked at the less luxurious retirement home; with Peter and MJ combining their salaries, Ned has no hope of winning the game, since it all comes down to how much money you have. Capitalism, MJ thinks scornfully. Capitalism and a dozen baby spaces.

“Oh.”

“You guys finish,” Ned encourages before MJ thinks to tell Peter to just end it there and pack the game up. “You’re like three-quarters of the way through.”

“If you want to,” she hears herself saying to Peter as she casts an uncertain glance his way.

“Ok. If you do.”

Ned chuckles.

“Alright, you two. Enjoy your road trip.”

It’s a little awkward when he’s gone, awkward and quiet. Peter jumps up from where they’re stretched out on the floor and puts on a road trip playlist. MJ doesn’t stir up an argument over the music; there’s enough tension just with them being alone. Ned was supposed to stay later. There were supposed to be more games and then a marathon of the Jaws movies, ordered by how many people get eaten. That’s what the three of them agreed on and what MJ knows May is expecting. May, who Peter said (with extreme discomfort) told him not to wait up for her because she’s out with Happy. That little announcement of his, made so offhandedly an hour ago, now drapes the room that only the two of them occupy, heavy with new meaning in Ned’s absence. They’re alone and Peter’s just put on Bruce Springsteen.

With unspoken agreement, MJ flicks the spinner and Peter moves their car―they pretend like they never landed on that baby space. They don’t need that right now, trying to get out from under the feeling of having the apartment to themselves and the knowledge that the only thing that’s put the brakes on the making out they’ve done so far in their relationship has been the arrival of other people. They lie to themselves that it’s still just a road trip for their two plastic people (never mind the combined salaries and the shared mansion and the joint custody of an array of exotic animals) and still just a board game for them (never mind the way Peter’s looking over at her and the way MJ keeps looking back to check if he’s looking).

They survive “Born to Run” and are startled into concentration by “Highway to Hell” and landing on the square that forces them to change careers. A couple of forgettable road trip songs follow those, and then “Drive My Car” comes on. MJ’s never thought of the Beatles as the creators of a soundtrack for seduction, so why does this song suddenly have such a sexy lilt to it? Why is every line a double entendre? Why do she and Peter both reach to move their car at the same moment and end up overturning it (R.I.P.) as their fingers intertwine?

She’s about to say how dumb that is, how cliché, when his hand tightens around hers and he jerks her forward. Forget their car―she just took out an entire plastic mountain range with her knee and she’ll probably have a bruise later. She can’t check at the moment because her eyes are fixed on Peter’s, but only sort of, since his face is too close to look at properly. So MJ doesn’t look. Her breathing is quick and somehow the seconds are slow, the press of his nose into her cheek should be clumsy and embarrassing; instead, it’s gradual and sweet. Peter exhales through his mouth and she feels his air on her lips. As she tries to watch and not watch, her eyelashes flutter like crazy, and it’s finally his trembling grasp on the back of her neck that sinks her deep into the moment, which is when he tilts his face just enough to touch his lips to hers.

MJ sucks in―at least half of it has to be his used oxygen and maybe that’s what makes her a little dizzy―and chases her hormones forward. They lead her hands to Peter’s shoulders and send her scrambling into the lap he quickly constructs for her, rearranging his limbs and scattering colourful Life currency with a careless swipe of his foot. She ends up on her knees with both hands cupping his face. She hasn’t quite managed to straddle him properly, like women do so effortlessly in the movie scenes they both blush over and pretend to not really watch when they’re together. Rather than being centered over him, she’s straddling just one of his legs, but she’s too self-aware to want to move, terrified that Peter will realize she’s screwed up this attempt to bring them closer. It was supposed to be sexy. She was supposed to instinctively know how.

Maybe he thinks he can fix it, or maybe he has his own reasons for repositioning them. Either way, he shifts the leg she’s straddling and it rubs between hers. She doesn’t know what song’s playing now, just that it isn’t playing loud enough to cover the way she breathes in―rough, short, unpolished. Move your thigh, Peter, she thinks. She can’t say it out loud because if she said it out loud it would be a snapped command, a chastisement, a rejection. What MJ wants is for it to be an invitation. Even though their mouths break apart, there isn’t anything she wants to say. The nice thing, the right thing, is the sound of their lips parting. It’s good, though not cartoonish, not scripted like a board game. It’s a sound that makes her want more, but she waits for Peter to initiate this time.

She expects his mouth; she gets his hands. They slide up her back, softly, bunching her t-shirt without seeming to try to deliberately undress her. Only once her back is securely in his hands does Peter’s face come impossibly close to hers again. But he doesn’t kiss her. His cheek just rests against hers while his palms warm and rub her back. Abruptly, he raises his thigh again and MJ―willpower departed to parts unknown―rocks shallowly in response.

“We kinda messed up the game board,” he says quietly.

“Your Life is ruined,” she agrees and it’s funny, but neither of them laughs. The skim of his cheek across hers is making her heart race.

“Would you…” His voice runs dry. With a little grunted clearing that’s enough to liquify this desire between her legs, he gives it another shot: “Would you want to, uh, see some stuff in my room? My bedroom. With me.”

“Sweet,” MJ agrees. Her tone is high and flighty, a hot air balloon with its lines loosed. “Road trip.”

They glance at each other constantly over the course of their very short trip. From the second MJ stands, Peter holds her hand securely in his, snatched from where it hung at her side. This is so moronic; she’s been in his room before. When Ned was there too. And May was home. And they weren’t dating yet. Quickly, she gives up on trying to think of this as the same as those other times, because it’s not. There’s not much interesting in this room that MJ hasn’t seen―just what Peter looks like without his clothes on.

With bravado, MJ marches all the way into his bedroom, straight to the opposite wall, where she looks out the window. Can’t go any farther. It’s like the stop signs on the board game.

“We don’t have to do anyth―” Peter seems to swallow his tongue when she faces him and whips her shirt off over her head. “Anything,” he chokes out.

“I wanna go forward,” she asserts defiantly, though she’s not sure who she’s defying, since her boyfriend’s eyes on her bra hint that he’s probably ok with this. His gaze rises to her face.

“So do I.”

“Good,” MJ says with a little twitch of her head.

Peter yanks his shirt off and, clenching and unclenching his hands like he’s psyching himself up, approaches her. Rather than sweeping her feet out from under her, he holds her hand again and brings her over to his bed.

Sitting cross-legged on his drawn-back sheets as they start kissing, MJ finds they do go forward. She keeps her hands to herself until she can’t help it and puts her palms on his knees. His fingers trace her waist before he’s bold enough to grip her more securely.  It can’t take more than five minutes for her to shuffle closer and him to draw her in with eager hands. Like playing Life, they have small moves (the first time MJ runs a hand down his bare chest) and big ones (when Peter rolls on top of her), double turns if you’re not in the lead (somehow she’s naked first and retaliates by removing his jeans and boxers together) and spaces that pull you up short (the long pause while he hovers over her, right after he asks if he should get a condom). Like riding in a car down a highway on a hot summer day, it’s exhilarating and exhausting, sweaty and satisfying. They lie side by side on their backs, breathing hard, and MJ thinks they’re definitely someplace different from where they started.

She wonders what she’ll say if Ned texts to ask who won.

[yue-muffin]

Time Raiders (2016)

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3

In my quest to consume the entirety of the DMBJ franchise available in English, I have decided to start with the non-canon movie because at least this one has an ending, unlike the train wreck that is Reboot/Chongqi’s pacing. I will probably be bitter about that for all eternity, but I digress. I heard good things about the movie from the bird app, and as I am a Pingxie shipper at heart, I decided to finally watch this one.

P A R T O N E

The cut-in animation to the title was gorgeous, I do so love the qilin in every adaptation. It’s particularly striking here with the gold outline and geometric, maze-like lines. It looks like the cards at the very beginning were being arranged in the image of this qilin.

My first reaction upon seeing white people in a dmbj adaptation is: oh no, the English, but I was pleasantly surprised to hear perfect English that matches the actor’s lips! What a miracle, haha. I remember The Lost Tomb 2 being the worst for how many lines had to be in English, sob.

These look so cool. I see we start off with a good old “seeking immortality” antagonist, and an obsessed collector who has dedicated his whole life to this apparently. As usual, he is a scumbag threatening the locals.

The old guy’s accented English is also better than TLT2, ha. The breathy/nasal quality is not at all uncommon. I don’t know what language the locals speak though.

Me, immediately: Zhang Qiling already??

I know he appears in rather early in TLT1, TLT2, and Reboot/Chongqi, but he’s so often mysteriously absent or stuck behind a gate (or in Reboot’s case, put on a bus) that I got excited, ok.

My favorite Zhang Qilings are the cold-looking pretty boy types in terms of my mental image of the character, but this one is also very easy on the eyes and as usual, unfazed in the face of danger coming at him with a knife. This is the only series in which I’m not bothered by the constant cast change between adaptations (unlike Ever Night), I suppose since it’s been this way from the start.

I’m interested in seeing how the backstories differ from canon. It’s actually rather interesting that this is pretty much an official AU, like that’s kind of wild as a concept. I’m used to the late 1990s/early 2000s anime adding new characters and changing plot points and endings everywhere, but Time Raiders takes it a step further.

Zhang Qiling being an ultra-competent badass who doesn’t even need a weapon to take the bad guys down never changes, no matter the universe. He steamrolls everyone, no questions asked.

Did he- he break the blade with his bare hands hahaha. Oh, yup, and a Zhang Qiling with a weapon is even more dangerous. I see those severed fingers. Such a good fight scene and we’re not even 5 minutes into the movie.

I love how he could have simply fired the arrow while he was still on the statue, then jumped down, but he had to be Extra and fire while he was jumping off haha.

It- the divine piece was right there?? By “beneath the statue” I would have thought it would at least be under it, not in a convenient little slot on the side of the altar area haha. So Zhang Qiling’s mission is to destroy the divine piece(s)? To, um, save the world apparently.

WHO ARE YOU? What an excellent question to ask a Zhang Qiling (and that staring into the mirror shot, too.)… I wonder if this one even knows - it’s possible he doesn’t have his signature amnesia here.

Wait- a gate? I think it’s in a cave or something in the novels, but gates have significance in DMBJ. The cinematography is really nice in these mountain shots. I know nothing about film, but I like the shots in the snowy mountains.

This Zhang Qiling knows and practices martial arts on screen! You would think he’d pull some moves normally, but in the drama-adaptations he tends to just beat people up as efficiently as possible. Sometimes with his sword. Other times he just fights ‘em. I have to admit Jing Boran looks excellent going through some forms. He nailed the force and power underlying every movement, then exploding outward with a strike. I do like the impression it leaves.

I, on the other hand, am an absolute noodle and look ridiculous when I do martial arts.

What in the world is happening in this flashback scene with the weird CGI qilin. Ah, it’s when he received his tattoo. That was super dramatic.

Wushanju is looking real edgy with the heavy iron gate on the interior, haha.

He is puzzling (ha!) over those cards so intensely you’d think it was a thousand piece puzzle instead haha. You’re almost there! Just a few more to finish the qilin!

Aw, is this our Wu Xie? Haha his facial hair is- hm. But I love his voice it’s so soft. Really fits that “Mr. Naive” vibe.

Is that. Is that the author of the series. I found out that he makes cameos in almost all (if not all of) the adaptations!

NO. ONLY I CAN FINISH THE PUZZLE. HANDS OFF BUDDY.

Why are there so many pigeons in here. Who let them inside.

A writer, who came to hear his story and turn it into a novel- HA yup it’s the author.

“This should be a story about me and him.”

Ahh I’m loving it already. DMBJ is the ultimate bromance story. Fair warning, I do ship Pingxie so my shipper goggles will be on throughout the movie. But even without shipping, you do have to admit the series is a bromance underneath all the mystery – between the Iron Triangle, between Wu Xie and Xiaoge.

This Wu Xie is a photographer and that is sort of adorable. Already there’s a theme emerging of needing to record events and telling stories. Interesting that he wants to turn his memories into a novel to record his experiences, because otherwise he’s afraid those memories might turn into a mere story in his own head. Wu Xie, that’s a worrying mindset.

Those ancient mask things always make me crack up, I don’t know why.

Ooh, background about Wu Xie’s birth into the Wu family. I’ve never read up to the part in the books where they go into his place in the family in detail. To be fair, his grandfather had three sons and only one of them had any kids – and Wu Xie is his parents’ only child. So, he becomes the only one who can really carry on the family legacy. Aw, I really like seeing his extended family present though! In the dramas we only ever get either his Second or Third Uncle, and he rarely ever mentions his parents even though they’re alive.

And there’s his namesake! The origin of his nickname, and the irony once the story gets into the Sha Hai timeline.

Wu Xie was a bit of a rascal as a kid, haha. To be fair he has a pretty sharp tongue in the novels and is mostly a pure cinnamon roll in the early dramas.

Little Wu Xie in a suit is so adorable. Nooo kid don’t go into locked up abandoned places. He’s already so adventurous haha. Seems that it’s not actually abandoned judging by all the lights on, but.

UH. MASKED MAN BEHIND YOU. I think he wants that item back. This is why you don’t go into abandoned places, kid. He definitely does not learn his lesson though. Also why are you still holding onto that thing, just drop it, I think he wants it back.

Haha he kept one of the coins.

WOAH. Every month someone in your family dies?? That’s uh- sort of traumatic. Also that would be a really good first line for a novel…Just saying. I do love the singing though.

Oh, the Nine Families exist in this universe too! They even give a quick explanation about the ranking system.

Oh yeah, I love how Wu Xie is such a nerd for all this knowledge of ancient texts and tombs. And YES HE FINALLY DOCUMENTS STUFF FOR ONCE.

Uncle Three looked dead for a moment there, scared the shit out of me too.

VAMPIRE MOTHS? Oh I hate bugs I would not be okay lol. WHOOPS. You guys are really good at reading ancient texts on the fly lol.

That’s the mask he has in the beginning of the film, isn’t it. NO DON’T TOUCH THINGS IN TOMBS. AHHH. So you just put it on your face?? Well that was a stupidly simple way to open the door. I’m guessing the creator didn’t care if anyone opened it.

This guy just severed his own arm, ok…and how many years later is his hand still clinging to it? UH. THIS IS WHY YOU DON’T TOUCH THINGS IN TOMBS. Then he proceeds to steal the box thing.

Ah the white dude again. I am so happy there is GOOD ENGLISH though haha.

Oh, hi Zhang Qiling. Just hanging out on a rooftop I see.

He looks so melancholy. Someone give him a hug! This adaptation makes him more human, less stoic robotic superhuman, I noticed. You rarely see him eat or drink anything in the other adaptations, but here he’s just chilling on a rooftop having some drinks haha. It’s ok. I love all the Zhang Qilings.

WHAT THE HELL, LIGHTNING? What the hell is this high tech machinery haha. Eight days? Coincidentally eight days after sitting in a tomb for how many years.

That is a very Extra bookcase to hold a book that apparently has ALL the secrets.

WOW that is a fancy notebook. It looks so beat up in the other versions haha. In this one, it even gets its own hidden shelf in a giant portable bookshelf!

The props for this franchise are so cool and detailed. I always wish they would show more of the creative process in the BTS, I’m such a nerd for that stuff. The Longest Day in Chang’an was pretty good at that, which is half of my enjoyment of that show haha!

I’m also still pleasantly surprised they bothered to incorporate other languages. I’m not sure what the Snake Lady and the old man in the beginning were speaking, but at least the English is good.

I can’t believe they worked in a steampunk chastity belt this movie went all out, huh. Also with these weirdly high tech structures and lightning and moving tomb structures.

And all the pieces start coming together! So that’s why it’s believed they hold the secret to immortality. What a steampunk-looking key.

Is that a writing desk??

Oh, they’re getting a team together to go tomb raiding! Ha, forget money! You may or may not end up dying on this adventure, so who cares about money, right.

He’s so cute standing there with his camera. Look at the little smile as he watches everything going on!

It’s a desk and a storage container?? Oh, there are ~qualifications~ to going on tomb raiding. Makes sense. That is the oddest looking sword.

Must appreciate Zhang Qiling’s fingers in every adaptation. They look very strong and steady here. Let’s not talk about the slooow trailing across the handle.

Wow did you really just throw sand in his face. Have we not learned not to mess with Zhang Qiling after he trounced that first guy who attacked him. I love the fight scenes so much after the bore-fest that was Reboot/Chongqi’s second half of Season 1.

Super pretty, but why did it cause him to stop and stare in the middle of the fight?

This is like a Final Fantasy sword haha. Also I think you should stop while you’re ahead, why did you think a table would stop this dude. (Hey, it’s Da Kui! He was in the novel but not TLT1.).

It’s HERE. Their first meeting. How did he know the coin was on that cord? It wasn’t visible, I don’t think. But uh. That was a hilarious move on his part, he is so Extra?? He just casually flicks the necklace off with his big-ass sword and it drops into his hand. Then casually goes “oh, here, you dropped this” as if he wasn’t the one responsible for it coming off in the first place!!

HERE IT COMES. The unnecessarily long eye contact. Pingxie in every adaptation needs a Staring Into Your Eyes scene.

Real smooth.

Ahh this Wu Xie is such a cutie. He’s like a puppy.

WHAT. Third Uncle, I can’t believe you let him tag along so easily haha. In the beginning he was scolding Wu Xie to never get involved in tomb business, then what happens? They’re going tomb raiding!!

Next Up: to the tomb we go! This can’t end badly or anything what are you talking about.

[silvanils]

Knight Plays: Pillars of Eternity

Part I || Part II || Part III || Part IV

It’s time to have fun storming this castle!

Or not, these enemies are pretty strong and Bryn keeps getting knocked out. It would help if he was better at flanking, but NO, he’s got to keep drawing fire. (I’ll have to see if there’s a way to tweak this mechanic but if not, OH WELL, he’s becoming another disaster rogue.)

Ah, the statue talks. I feel like this isn’t actually “normal” even in this setting, but normal has been thrown out the window, hasn’t it? 

OOF. Something Very Bad happened here. I’m getting major cursed vibes from this whole castle and I wonder if we’re going to have to find a way to lift that / purify this place.

It seems like this is a very “grey” situation where people kept making things worse with how they retaliated... 

Ah, the Old Watcher... I don’t think he’s going to be much help to Bryn in his state. If anything, he’s making Bryn more worried about what HIS fate will be in the end. Yikes.

(Actually, his whole backstory is a BIG “yikes.” I feel bad for him, and hope that sort of thing isn’t what Bryn has to look forward to.)

After killing him, the game gave a choice about what to do with his soul and while the GAMER part of me wanted to absorb the knowledge, Bryn just wanted to cut the soul loose and let it go. It’s what he’d want if he was in that man’s place, so. That’s that.

Oddly enough, though, Bryn feels ok about “inheriting” the castle. I feel like he doesn’t have much in the way of roots anywhere and being told “this place wants you” is a mutual feeling - he wants to make this place his own, too.

But that’ll have to wait until I have more money, whoops. And everyone needs rest so I need to find an inn soon (I’m very low on camp supplies and want to save them...)

Aloth’s commentary during and after this quest has me thinking he might be a Watcher, too. Come to think of it, he had a rather interesting reaction to finding out Bryn was one. HM. The Old Watcher switched how he talked, too, so... I wonder.

I wouldn’t blame him for keeping it secret, though. People here don’t seem to like “abnormal” folks.

Heading south toward the Big City, the party meets another friend! Who has an EXTRA friend?! (I like this lady already, she seems cool.)

Poor lady got swindled by a fake Watcher? Bryn’s first response is “well, maybe I can help you! I’m a REAL one!” and she called him out on that being a bad thing to tell someone who just told that kind of story, haha.

Edér jumping in to say “you’d believe him if you saw how he stares at dead things” made me laugh. Thanks for having my back, buddy.

And the city is just a hop and a skip away now -

Wait, Act I is finished?! Uh... whoops? I meant to go clean up quests in Gilded Vale before moving ahead in the story too much, so if the Act change makes me miss stuff I’ll... just have to reload to my hard save before talking to Sagani.

And a quick rest and fast travel later, it seems like I can still do all the things in Gilded Vale. GOOD. Especially since I just figured out the hold-tab to see stuff you can interact with trick (I keep forgetting that exists in these sorts of games, OOPS.)

Wrapped up a bunch of the mini-quests here, got some neat equipment (omg Larder Door?! PLEASE) and noticed people with weird names can have their souls stared into. What.

(Also... STROM BRIGHTBLADE? That name gave me flashbacks to my Dragonlance reading days...)

With a full party, this temple is... really pretty easy, welp. Not that I mind. Their commentary is neat. Sagani finally believing Bryn is a Watcher is made more funny by every single other companion piping up with their two cents about how “you’ll get used to this eventually.” Really? Even Aloth has only known me for what, three or four days?

(In all seriousness, though, it’s sweet how quickly they have come to like and trust Bryn despite his... oddity. Or perhaps BECAUSE of it?) 

Oh. Yikes. The descriptions of what happened in this back room are... mm. Surprisingly dark and graphic. And Bryn’s not too pleased that he was lied to, either. :T

I didn’t think I COULD like Edér more than I already did, but I DO. I’m actually tearing up a little, hearing his story about his rite. “It’s good to see the candles are still burning.” Yeah, it would be.

Bryn’s been hearing both sides to a lot of these conflicts and they’re all so messy. Ugh. He’s not pleased with this man, but he seems genuine in his desire to make amends so... Bryn told him to go do that.

He’s earning a good reputation and has some earned some disposition points in Benevolence, Honesty, Diplomacy, and... Passion. Ha, nice.

And now I have another castle to storm. I don’t like the sound of this Lord Raedric guy.

To be continued... later...

[that-spider-witch]

PET Episode 1: My Thoughts/First Impressions

IMPORTANT EDIT: After someone pointed it out to me and I rewatched the episode, I have to say that yes, the kid at the start of the episode is NOT Tsukasa, and he actually grew into the now blond guy who first appears at the very end. Needless to say, I feel really stupid right now. The rest of the list remains the same, though.

-...Ok first of all this anime is already a hell to properly tag or even find in a Google search. Jeez and I thought the anime Another was bad. It’s going to be a nightmare to separate the cute pet posts from this mindfuck of an anime.

- We open the episode with Tsukasa’s backstory (That’s his name, right?) and, it probably wasn’t the creator’s intentions, but as an autistic person it resonated strongly with me.

- Like... Tsukasa as a kid is strongly reminiscent of a “low functioning” autistic child: Blank expression, no verbal communication, “disturbingly obsessed” with a TV show, and prone to meltdowns. But, underneath what his mother wrongly believes to be some sort of vegetative state there is a completely normal kid who is very, very aware of his surroundings, what his mother thinks about him and his family’s situation. I know this is most likely accidental and no further parallels to Autism will happen after this flashback since grown-up Tsukasa seems to be either as neurotypical as someone with mindbreaking powers can be or really good as passing as one, but... Yeah.

- Fuck Tsukasa’s dad. We don’t even get to see his face and I already hate him.

- There’s this disturbing and honestly very heartbreaking scene where Tsukasa’s mother is having suicidal thoughts and we see her distorted mental image of herself cutting her own throat with a kitchen knife. Being a psychic, Tsukasa sees this and has what I could only describe as an actually rather accurate meltdown, with him repeatedly hitting his head against the TV table to the point that he starts to bleed. 

- Of course, his mother can’t understand what’s actually happening with her son and plans to have him committed somewhere if he doesn’t gets “cured” soon, while the dad is completely absent and we are told he believes it’s all the mother’s fault somehow (Seriously, who is this asshat? Fuck him).

- To Tsukasa’s luck, two adult psychics just happen to be passing through the hospital, with one of them recognizing Tsukasa as one of them because he was exactly the same when he was his age. He gets inside his mind and we get a little bit of exposition as the dude gives Tsukasa tips to handle better his powers. 

- Pretty CGI butterflies are pretty. The nerd in me also wants to point out that they strongly seem to resemble male Scarlet Mormon butterflies, which just happen to be toxic to eat for birds and other predators. Symbolic foreshadowing, or the animators just used random black and red butterfly models because they were pretty?

- There’s this weird fish imagery in both the opening and the official artwork too. There’s a Koi swimming in the Opening, and the fish in the artworks looks like a Betta to me. The latter could become very symbolic if there is any fighting down the line, be against other psychics or between themselves... Or, again, it could just be for pure aesthetic reasons. 

- Aaaand... Timeskip!

- I don’t know his name yet, but Blond Twink Bishounen Boy looks and acts like he could become the Sinnamon Roll of the season. (I could have said Cinnamon Roll, but then the rest of the episode happened and... Yeah, NOPE!).

- “Save the foreplay for after breakfast!” LOL 

- Who is this Kaori and why we never get to properly meet her or see her this episode? Will she be on the next episode, or what?

- ...Really starting to ship Tsukasa and Blond Twink Bishounen Boy together here, not gonna lie. I hope I’m not alone on that one.

- ...No, really, WHO IS KAIRI?

- Can be all agree that Kenji was a nice dude, acted like a cool big bro around these two boys who were seemingly just renting a room at his property and generally did NOTHING to deserve all the bullshit that happened to him this episode?

- Like... This was just a dude who was just living his life: He had a best friend, his own bar and was quitting smoking. His only sin was to apparently get himself involved in some shady business involving psychics and because of that he saw his best friend getting killed, then got mind-raped into thinking that not only his best friend was a murderer and that he always hated him, but that he hated him too, any loving memory of their friendship seemingly murdered. Oh, and he’s smoking again too.

- I think there’s a subtle narrative to be found here with Kenji’s smoking habits. There’s no reason as to why wiping his memory of his friendship with his late buddy would also erase his desire to quit... Unless it was his buddy who had gotten him to stop smoking in the first place. Just something to think about.

- Speaking in TV Tropes terms, this anime seems to be running on the Villain Protagonist trope, or at the very least on some really, really grey morality. What the protagonists did this first episode was truly heinous, and we didn’t got a good answer as to why they couldn’t just erase their memories and let them be other than “It’s more complicated than that” from the Cigarette Dude.

- I want to know more about Tsukasa and company, that’s for sure. I just won’t be siding with them anytime soon, unless the next episodes do a better job at explaining why they are doing what they’re doing and paints them in a better light. I want to know what the hell is happening.

- 10/10. Great way to start some really good psychological drama, let’s see if the series follows through with it.

-...Yokota and Kenji deserved better, though.

[bran-writes]

OC Backstory Weeks Week 0: Intro

Hey guys, @yourocsbackstory is running this weekly event again! Go check her Masterpost out to get the info about it and feel free to participate if it interests you! I’ll be reblogging OC entries as well, if I see them!

This time I around I’ll use Sunny from Farm Boy Blues during the run of the event. Week 0 is the intro so here’s what I have!

_______________________________________________________________________

Sunny woke up in the dim light of the doctor’s office with a crushing headache and a chalky dry mouth. He’d been laying on the cot for 3 days and it wasn’t doing his back or limbs any favors. Not to mention, the doctor’s office smelled like copper and sweat.

“Doc!”

“Hold on, asshole, I’m busy!”

Sunny scoffed and tried to sit up. The first two times, he failed, but the third time was more successful, even though his chest screamed with pain. He glanced down at his stitches and grimaced through the lances of searing pain before letting out a long breath. He reached over to the blinds next to his bed and opened them, letting some sunshine in. 

Staring out the window at the small desert town around the doctor’s office. It seemed pretty busy, so it must have been midday. This town was out of the way, but that was the point. The doctor usually serviced mercenaries and wounded travelers and this was the closest medical help outside Dyson City. The family who’d hauled Sunny here days ago had probably been on their way there. 

Behind him, Sunny heard rubber shoes shuffling against the smooth concrete floor. He turned, hoping to see the doctor. Instead, there was a young boy- probably 8 years old. He had curly dark hair and deep brown skin. His brightly colored clothes offset his large, brown eyes. The kid stared at Sunny for a few moments before offering him a bottle of water. 

“Where’s the doctor?”

“He says he can’t come right now but you gotta take these,” the kid mumbled shyly, handing him a small paper cup with two pills inside. Pain killers. 

“Thanks, kid,” Sunny nodded before downing the pills. He guzzled the room temperature water while the kid stared at him. When he finished, Sunny crushed the bottle and gingerly tossed it towards the trash bin. He missed, and the kid scooped it up and made it in. “Well aren’t you a helpful employee,” Sunny smirked. 

“I don’t work here,” the boy sighed. 

“Oh… Then who are you?”

“A kid…”

“Ha…”

The boy laughed, which made Sunny chuckle, despite the painful protest from his chest. “I found you on the road,” the boy finally said.

“Oh, you did huh?” Sunny grimaced. “So, I guess you’re the one who called for help?”

The boy nodded, sitting in the chair next to Sunny’s bed and propping a leg up on the seat. Sunny nodded and held his hand out for the child to shake. The kid stared at it for a second before finally shaking. 

“Thanks. If it wasn’t for you, I’d probably be dead,” Sunny laid back down against the rough material of the cot.

“No problem,” the boy nodded. 

“You headed to Dyson City?”

“Yep. We live there. My daddy’s a writer and my mommy sells houses. We went on vacation and stopped to use the bathroom when I found you.”

“You didn’t pee on me, did you?”

The kid laughed. “No, silly.”

“Well, that’s good.”

“What’s you name, mister?” The boy asked, voice tinged with curiosity as he picked at his shoe laces.

“Sunny. Yours?”

“Manuel.”

“Nice to meet you, Manuel. Thanks for the help.”

“What happened to you?”

“Somebody shot me…”

“Duh, I know that,” Manuel rolled his eyes.

“Well then you know what happened,” Sunny winked. 

“Does it hurt?”

“Yep. Like a…” Sunny trailed enough, deciding not to curse in front of somebody else’s kid. “A lot.”

“You live in Dyson City too?”

“Yes, sir! Since I was fifteen, actually,” Sunny bucked his eyebrows.

“What’s your job?”

Oh boy, Sunny thought. “Well, I’m an asset… reacquisition… contractor. Basically, I-”

“Asset means something important,” Manuel nodded. “Reacquisition means you get something?”

“Wow, that’s pretty good, kid. How old are you?”

“Seven,” Manuel sniffed and rested his chin on his knee.

“Ah, I guessed eight. You’re pretty smart.”

“I read at fourth grade reading level.”

“Is reacquisition a fourth grade word?” Sunny furrowed his eyebrows but the kid shrugged. “Well anyways, you were close, like I said. Pretty much, when somebody loses something, they hire me to go find it.”

“Were you looking for something in the desert?” Manuel scratched the bridge of his nose and sniffed again. 

“Ah… No. I’d actually just quit my job. Don’t think that’s gonna last, though. Good thing I work for myself.”

Before Manuel could reply or(what Sunny thought was more likely), ask another question, two adults entered the back room of the office. They were obviously Manuel’s parents. The man wore a loose, airy blue shirt and shorts with a baseball cap while the woman wore a yellow tank top and light shorts. They glanced from Manuel to Sunny before the father sucked his teeth. 

“Manuel, get out of here and stop bothering him,” he snapped his fingers. 

“I’m nnnooooooot,” Manuel whined.

“Hey, sir, really,” Sunny held a hand up, wincing, “It’s fine.”

The man didn’t look too sure, and the woman furrowed her brows. “We don’t want him keeping you awake, you need to rest,” she said.

“I’ve been in and out for three days,” Sunny chuckled, “I could use some conversation. Manuel here was just keeping me company.”

“Problem is, he has a habit of asking too many questions for answers that aren’t any of his business,” the man stressed, looking at his son. Manuel, dark curls glowing in the window light, jutted his chin out in defiance. 

“Hey, at least I still know my name and where I live,” Sunny winked. “We can just say he was assisting the doctor, eh Manuel?”

“Right!”

“I’m Sunny, by the way.”

“Ah, my name’s Robert and this is my wife Helena,” Robert reached out gingerly to take Sunny’s hand. Helena did the same with a warm, motherly smile. 

“I appreciate you guys bringing me here,” Sunny nodded, “A lot of people would have just.. Left me or robbed me.”

“It was the right thing to do. I imagine if I was in your position I’d want someone to help me,” Helena nodded. Sunny didn’t know these people very well, but he found himself hoping that would never happen. 

“Do you think whoever did this to you would still be looking for you?” Robert asked.

Sunny scoffed before clearing his throat, his chest pain flaring. “No… They’re long gone by now.”

“Should we be worried about the feds coming and asking us questions?” Helena asked with a small, knowing smile. Sunny tapped Manuel on his knee.

“Hey, these are the questions you should have been asking.”

Manuel rolled his eyes and shifted in his seat to face his parents. “Sunny’s not a criminal, he finds stuff for people.”

Helena furrowed her brow again in curiosity before Sunny explained, “I’m an Arc.”

“Ah… Say no more,” Robert held a hand out. “I had to hire one when Helena and I first got married. Your job probably takes you all over the place, huh?”

“Unfortunately,” Sunny bucked his eyebrows. 

“Well, do you have family coming to pick you up, Sunny? Or should we wait until you’re better and bring you with us?” Helena asked.

“What? No, no, don’t wait. You guys have been here long enough, you should head home. And as far as family, it’s just me- other than my Mama who won’t be coming out here.”

“I get it,” Robert nodded, “my relationship with my mother isn’t the best, but I at least think she’d help me were I in your position. Are you sure you don’t want to call her?”

“Oh, she’s not my real mom, she’s more of like an unofficial adoptive mother. And she’s got other kids to worry about.”

“Ah, ok, sorry for prying,” Robert held that weathered hadn’t out again.

“Hey, no problem. Manuel, do you see my clothes anywhere?”

The kid looked around in exaggerated twists before he spotted Sunny’s clothes under the cot. He pointed to them and Sunny nodded, “Good, hand me my pants will ya?”

When he was handed the jeans, Sunny dug for his wallet, found it and produced a yellow and white card decorated with a Hawaiian flower pattern. Embossed on the front were thick black letters that read: 

Keaton Investigations

“My info’s on the back there. If you ever need anything, let me know.”

Helena accepted the card, flipped it over and handed it to Robert. “New Rodeo, honey.” Manuel gasped.

“Your office isn’t too far from our house,” Robert raised his eyebrows.

“Oh yeah? Well the office is actually my place- I live in the loft upstairs.” Sunny briefly wondered why he’d tell strangers that, but it’s not like they wouldn’t find that out if they showed up at the address on the card anyways. 

“That’s perfect,” Helena smiled, “We’d love to have you over for dinner sometime!”

“Oh, ma’am, I wouldn’t want to intrude on your family like that.”

“PPpllllleeeeaaaaassseee,” Manuel begged. 

How am I supposed to say no to this kid? Sunny thought.

“It wouldn’t be too much trouble at all,” Robert assured him. “We’d love it.”

Sunny considered it for a moment. In the back of his mind, he could hear Mama coaching him to get out more and spend time with normal people. Make friends and all that. “Okay, sure,” Sunny shrugged against the pain. Leave me a message at the office when you get back into town. I’ll take a few days to heal and get back to you guys.”

“Promise?” Manuel asked. Sunny nodded. 

“You got it, buddy.”

“Yes!”

“Alright, we’ll be waiting to hear from you,” Helena smiled. “Get well soon.”

“It’s time for us to head back, Manuel, grab your bag and throw it in the car.”

“Yes, sir,” the boy nodded and jumped out of his chair. Before leaving the room, the kid turned back and ran to the cot. He held his hand out for a high five and Sunny obliged. 

“Thanks again for the help, kid.”

“All in a day’s work,” Manuel grinned. 

_______________________________________________________________________

I think I might have to bring back Manuel and his family in the future! This was fun, I can’t wait to continue this event!

Tag List: @writerinafury @oneleggedflamingo @carmina-solis @anomaly00 @neirawrites @lnspired-insomniac

[shy-magpie]

RQG 124

And he is doing the thing where he says the number digit by digit again. No idea why I always notice it so much. *deletes yet another essay about the intros" okay I am officially stalling because I am worried Hamid is banking on magic behaving without enough evidence and may have blown up both Grizzop and Eldarian. PS.  Either all it takes to get me to care enough about a character to worry is put them in danger while out of their element or Alex is even subtler than I thought. How am I concerned for a character who knew she was probably going to Rome and wore heels? Is Bryn deliberately bad at defending himself from accusations of setting everyone on fire? Lydia makes it canon that Rome weirdness is to blame for any timeline problems Nice fireball Hot Dog!?! Lydia and Alex are threatening each other and us with backstory The dice love us? Alex you can kill them all or have all your lovely monsters creamed, they don't really have middle modes So the kid rang the dinner bell for every nasty on the plane? Hugs for Hamid and Grizzop Hamid might be insecure at times but Bryn makes sure he gets credit for his magic at least OK it was temporary, already back to not trusting Eldarian even if I was worried Sasha is indifferent to her at best So maybe not deliberate malice but not a warm parental figure The team is stepping up well Yeah well we don't trust you either "I was in the papers and you couldn't find me?" good whatever their relationship was, Sasha is not falling into her old role. Too many people mistake not arguing with someone as agreeing with their version of events, and I don't want the team buddying up to Eldarian just because Sasha didn't think there was a point in arguing. God I LOVE this team, they aren't antagonizing her exactly but they are backing Sasha She "created it for herself"!! In what possible way? "You don't get to talk to me like that anymore!" hell no she doesn't Nice the ranks just closed against Eldarian "You need to Back Off!" "the bit where I was going to shoot you? I'm going back to that bit so can you be helpful or do you want to leave?" Oh Sasha, you can hear how unused to standing up for herself she is Oh Helen may have found a loophole for Azu They know each other? Mom way? For certain values of mom that normally scare the white picket fence kids maybe Yeah either she changes or I am never typing her name on discord, because I would literally have an easier time with the Bertie fans than who ever it was who was talking about liking her. My issues are showing so I'm just going to try avoid remembering who it was; before I end up getting weird and tetchy with someone whose only crime is an opinion on a fictional character. Not their fault "we'll talk about this later" being her catch phrase raises 6 kinds of alarms for me Hamid is not confident but doing a great job of standing on the line between getting the help they need, not tipping his hand about his attitude towards her and not giving her the least chance to screw them over. Gah I should probably have an actual conversation with my therapist about how Salah Sr hit me vs how I am seeing red flags that may or may not be there with Eldarian but as long as the team doesn't back her am mostly fine. Probably TMI but that was mostly a round about way of saying you guys probably picked up on my issues during Cairo and I didn't want you to worry about me now.   While we're on my hang ups are my ears behaving for once or did they tweak Ben's mic? Because I am not having to spend any effort to process tonight and he is normally right in my gap Grizzop is a good Bless Sasha, I love her explanation Did Grizzop just offer to kill Eldarian? Oh Sasha backstory, slightly confusing since I think she doesn't know many of the details and motivations. Did that sweet little goblin of my heart just upgrade that offer to "can I kill her? " And he remembered to loop them in. Recap time is always fine "they all had their shirts off very exciting" Sasha is so excited to go to another place with great daggers So Hamid is able to follow what Eldarian's doing and she is behaving. Worth a shot Lydia, Sasha would have stashed food And Grizzop has gifties! Explanation time Grizzop and Sasha are not letting Eldarian play language games or trusting her an inch Yeah that type are often saying things as they see them; they just have a "unique way of seeing things" Sweet sweet backstory time Poor kid Of course Eldarian is crying, place bets now on "it wasn't like that", "it was for your own good", "but I didn't mean to hurt you; even though you told me in every possible way that what I was doing was hurting you and I didn't stop", or a mixture thereof. On the other hand, Alex is damn good so maybe she has one hell of an explanation, realizes it was still not an excuse and was seeking out Sasha for a real reconciliation? I mean I hear it happens I am so happy she had Bi Ming Darn, I was betting on Meritocrats Of course she is playing the "you are making me out to be the bad guy" card Conflicted, if we don't get the explanation of her backstory then do we have enough info to trust her? but if we do get an explanation then the process will either mean letting her rewrite the whole thing unchallenged or pissing her off to the point that she starts noting who to "accidentally" lose Grizzop, watch telling Azu how things work here. Must try to remember that mental age aside, he only has 10 years of life experience so it makes sense he jumps to conclusions BTW I thought Einstein was their ticket home, if we are going to trust her with their transportation then can we not see him off safely before going through? Because even if you set aside his mental state, leaving a civilian there to wait is a dick move even if they do sort out the food Alex using Einstein to mess with Sasha is mean "oh no he teleported through the 4th wall" Rake Fines explanation time? I love Sasha's point of view regarding rich people vs criminals Nice solution, he can check in once a week! They don't have to just dismiss him and hope Eldarian doesn't get aggressive aggressive instead of passive aggressive or leave him to fight off everything that is coming after hearing the fight in the beginning of the episode Hamid points out they could use Einstein as a messenger. No one else has anyone to send a "if you are reading this.." letter Practical Sasha

Mage armor! Grizzop has the sense to give Einstein the necklace of sanctuary Yeah every mythology fan just winced as Einstein called himself a God while in Rome "Don't let go" and a paper chain of the team, right before heading to the place where Alex called for saves every 3 seconds, this sounds safe./s   They can't be tied together why? Poor Alex GMing and running the equipment at the same time

[edgarbright]

Kyle’s Route part 9

Initial ramblings! I’m 1/3 the way through now!

Spoilers from Edgar's route, Ray's route, Fenrir's route

Catching up from Sunday's reading! This one also includes a bit more theorizing.

They started the part right where part 8 ended -- Kyle saying he'll feel lonely without Alice! MY HEART! And OK, yeah, he brings up the alcohol and losing his drinking buddy but!! It still feels like he was sad for Alice. This is supported by the fact he insists that he's just her guard a moment later, because Edgar already revealed all in the last part. We know Kyle's more considerate than he wants to let on.

Sharing one drink = official Kyle's drinking buddy status. God I love this alcoholic. I love him so much. Please someone, somewhere, save him from his addiction. Alice is having a change of heart for him. She lies awake in her room next to Lancelot’s, unable to fall asleep, and reflects on all the people she’s met. The image of Kyle pops up and "(There's someone here who truly wants to protect me. When I first met him, I thought he was just an overbearing drunk. But now that I've gotten to know Kyle more, when I'm with him I--)"

And the best choice option is "Like him" and awww!! "(I like him, I think. People as kind as him are rare in this world.)"

"Whenever he looked at me with that soft smile on his face, I felt kind of restless. But also happy."

AWWW!! I respect the fact she thinks she can't stay with the Red Army, but it's irking that she's so instant on going back to the Black Army. I'd rather she just want to go back home to the Land of Reason if anything. Or go to Blanc, even.

We jump over to the Black Army and here we get a bizarre game error where the wrong name pops up. All of a sudden Fenrir is talking about some girl named Andromeda being taken by the Red Army and I'm just ???? How many girls fell through that hole LOL

Also the Black Army is so wild. The report is Alice is safe and Luka is all, "I'll never forgive [the Red Army] for treating her like this." Like OK there, buddy, did you want them to throw some torture in there or something?? And... the Black Army literally stormed the gates of the Red Army HQ in the prologue. They always forget that was a thing that happened. Like the Black Army is just as antagonistic to the Red Army as the RA is to the BA. I wish the BA showed some self-awareness that their lack of caution is what got Alice kidnapped in the first place. And it would be moronic of the Red Army to just hand her back over.

If the BA ask for Alice back, I pray they have something to offer in exchange. But considering past routes, I won’t keep my hopes up...

The translator changed the name of the "Day That Went Dark' to the "Day Lost to Darkness." I’ll be sticking with the former name that’s been around for months.

BUT WHAT'S SUPER ALARMING IS

Ray: "That sea of blood from years ago-- I've dreamt of it countless times since."

I'M SORRY BUT WHAT!? A sea of blood!? I do NOT recall that being described in Ray OR Fenrir's routes. One thing that I struggled with regarding this event is how VAGUE it is. Neither Ray nor Fenrir describe it properly. Some dudes attacked, Ray used magic, there were bodies on the floor. THE END! But wait , did people die? Did kids die?? One of Ray's endings has him visiting a cemetery on the cliff side of Black Territory and it SEEMED like those were people he killed but even then it was very, very vague.

Even in Edgar's route, Edgar comes out in saying he's killed people. He's had to murder people. He even admits Alice found him the morning after he killed someone. So why can’t they tell us clearly about what happened to Ray at school? Will explicitly saying Ray KILLED people not make him a good guy anymore? Why are we hearing about this sea of blood months later in KYLE'S route?

Although this sudden explicitness is a huge red flag that this event should have a connection to Kyle. Kyle's a year younger than Ray and Fenrir. Maybe he was one of the students involved? Or he saw the event and was hushed up about it? Maybe the horror of it drove him to drink?? It might explain why he rushed through his education after seeing so many kids hurt and killed. But a few parts ago it was hinted that maybe him becoming the 7 of Hearts wasn't a guarantee. I see two paths where this leading and it's going to be incredibly sad backstory if one of them is true...

I LOVED KYLE BUTTING INTO LANCELOT'S ROOM. Lancelot's got 0 patience for it but he still let's Kyle do whatever. Kyle giving him the four-day-old note to remind and threaten him (lmao) to come to his check-up. KYLE STICKING A FLYER FOR THE CHECK-UP ON THE WALL BY LANCELOT'S BED LMFAO. Kyle's 48202x "And one more thing" and Lancelot's 48202x "What now???"

Kyle understands Lancelot so well it feels SO GOOD. Kyle's casual caring feels SO GOOD. When he tells Lancelot to eat breakfast tomorrow because others are worrying feels SO GOOD.

Lancelot after Kyle has left: "That man just loves meddling where he's not needed. His concern can be-- overwhelming at times."

YES, PLEASE OVERWHELM LANCELOT WITH TLC! Kyle and Lancelot's relationship is SO GODDAMN GOOD!! This route is giving me exactly what I wanted! While Kyle doesn't know what's going on with Lancelot, he cares in a way he's able, and he's looking out for others even while he horrendously and publicly neglects himself. I said this before but Jonah has Lancelot on such a high pedestal that he can't understand him properly. Edgar's currently being abused on the side by his uncle so he's not really in a position to go above and beyond to help anyone. Zero is a very good boy who wouldn't normally get into altercations with Lancelot anyway. But Kyle is different. Why is Kyle different? Why does Lancelot let Kyle get away with everything?

I'm predicting it has to do with Kyle's past. They joined the army together--Kyle was just 16, just a kid, while Lancelot was 22.

Not so fun fact: Kyle joined the army at the same age as when Harr was exiled from Cradle. 16. Both too young. In regards to Kyle, the Day That Went Dark would have happened when he was 14 (the same age as when Harr joined the Magic Tower!) So two years between the event and his graduation. I can’t recall if it’s stated he graduated at 16 as a doctor (that would be incredible? and improbable even for a studious workhouse but whatever, you go, Kyle!!) but he's clearly a good doctor now. And Lancelot would have seen all that. The trials. The struggles. And Kyle’s turn to alcoholism.

[avatoh]

You asked for shassie prompts soooooo what about the classic fake dating scenario 😏

Hey, Anon!Sorry I took my goddamn sweet time with this. Thank’s SO much for the prompt! I love these tropes!

AO3 Link

“Huh. Isn’t that Lassiter over there?” Gus pointed out towards the beach as he took a taste of his half-finished soft-serve. He and Shawn had taken a break from Psych and decided to take a stroll along the boardwalk with the original intent of pursuing a cool and tasty treat, which they had no trouble finding.

“Woah, really? Where?” Shawn asked as he moved his head quickly in search of the man.

“Right there. That wedding venue,” Gus pointed again.

Shawn squinted his eyes and noticed a very familiar man in a suit walk around, alone, under a shady canopy.

“That’s him, right?” Gus asked.

“Definitely,” Shawn replied. “Let’s go over and bug him.”

“Mmm. You know it,” Gus nodded.

“Hey, Lassssssiiiieeeeee,” Shawn drew out his breath as the two of them walked up to the tent.

Lassiter seemed to recognize that the two of them right away, but quickly turned his head refusing to make eye-contact. Instead, he opted to look at the “fascinating” sand particles on his shoe, kicking at the ground a little as he did so. “Don’t come. Don’t come. Don’t come,” raced his mind.

“Hey,” Gus said.

“What’s up, Buddy?” Shawn spoke too as they got closer.

“Not now,” Lassiter said, his eyes not leaving the floor. This was not a good time!

“What? Come on, man? You just gonna dis us like that?”

“Not now, Spencer,” Lassiter said again, this time with gritted teeth.

“Why?”

“Because I’m-”

“And whose this, Reggie?” came a man from behind. He held two drinks in his hands and ended up handing one to Lassiter as he finished talking.

“Ah,” Lassiter replied, taking the drink from the man. His whole body language was different than his normal. “They were just leaving.”

Eyes darted back and forth between the four men and the air felt tense, nobody knowing what to say.

“This can’t be him,” the strange man finally said, eyeing Shawn up and down like a mother inspecting her daughter’s date.

“And who would I be?” Shawn asked.

“His boyfriend, of course,” the man said.

“His…Oh, you mean Reggie’s boyfriend?” Shawn asked. Lassiter must undercover. He was pretending to be a guy named Reggie. Gus looked a bit confused but also seemed to know something or another was up.

“Oh, I knew it!” the man said, jumping to conclusions then turning to Lassie. “This man right here is John? He’s just how you described, Reg! Especially his face and hair. Perfection.”

Gus looked at Shawn, the man, and then at Lassie. “Ok. This little chat was nice but, umm, sooo…. I gotta go,” Gus said pointing back to mainland.

“I should get going too,” Shawn quickly said. Normally, he liked to have some fun annoying Lassie, but now really didn’t seem the time. If looks could kill, he’d most certainly already be dead by the looks Lassiter was giving him. “Anyway, it was nice meeting you…uh…”

“It’s Deacon,” the man said with a thick accent, “And nonsense, I don’t want to put you two out if you want to stay-”

“Oh, no. It’s fine, John here really does have to get going,” Lassiter encouraged, pushing the two men back towards the mainland. He turned to Shawn “I think my boyfriend just got jealous and wanted to check on me with his friend.” His voice turned a bit sour for what followed; he couldn’t help it. “He just had to come and check on me even though I said I was going to be in good hands, your hands, over and over to him for about a week. Isn’t that right, dear?”

“Yeah,” Shawn said, seizing Deacon up with his observations skills. “What if he gets ideas here with you at this wedding!? Anyone would be happy to have a man like Reggie… I just wanted to check on him during my lunch real quick since I was, you know, in the area. I guess I’ll have to trust you for now though. He doesn’t seem like he’s too into you but, please, don’t steal him, he’s all I have. I love him!”

Lassiter looked as if he was going to have a heart attack at that last comment.

“I won’t,” Deacon chuckled. “It was nice finally meeting you, John. And don’t you worry. I’ll take good care of him,” the man spoke, extending his hand out.

“Uh…thanks,” Shawn said, shaking it. He then turned to Lassiter. “See you later, mister” he said slowly, giving a discerning look with pleading eyes towards Lassiter.

When they were far enough away from the wedding venue, Gus spoke, “What the hell was that about!?”

“Lassie’s playing an undercover gay guy, dude.”

“I figured. But what was up with that man who thought that you were his boyfriend!? Why didn’t he think that I was his boyfriend!”

“I dunno. He said I looked just how he described me. Take it up with Lassie and his backstory.”

“You know what. I will.” Gus paused and thought. “Wait, so Lassie, was playing a gay dude and describing you as his boyfriend? That’s messed up.”

Shawn nodded. “Guess so.” Part of him wanted to think more about that, but he decided against it. It was clear that Lassiter could never like him in that way. He wasn’t even sure he like him in any way for that matter. These thoughts saddened him.

A few hours of lounging around the Psych office and watching trash TV later, there was finally a knock at the door.

“I’ll get it,” Gus said, getting up with a bowl of M&M’s in his hand. Shawn heard him crunch on some on the way to the door. “Oh. It’s for you,” he said to Shawn.

“Of course it is. I’m the only psychic around here. This place is named after me and my ability. Mine, Gus!”

“Spencer,” sounded Lassiter’s voice from down the hall. “I think we need to talk,” he said, appearing before him.

“I think I know what’s going on,” Shawn said.

“You do?”

“Come to ask your dear, sweet boyfriend for forgiveness. Shame on you for going to the wedding with that guy and not with me, Reggionald!”

Lassiter let out a groan. “Look here, Spencer-”

“Uh. Uh. Uh, It’s John now, according to that friend of yours,” Shawn said.

“Spencer. Stop. That man’s a very dangerous man. An arms dealer. I’m fully undercover while he’s in town for that wedding. We were going to make a move on him soon We have enough evidence, but we’re waiting for a warrant-”

“But why were you pretending to be a gay guy?”

“Pretending…I-” Lassiter started. “Well the arms dealer, he likes guys. So we decided it was a good cover to pretend I was you know, interested.”

“Then why did you have a pretend boyfriend?”

“Because,” Lassiter sighed. “I don’t have to explain myself to you…but I might as well tell you, because whether I like it or not, your involved now. My cover started online with a series of chats for about a month. We knew he was going to be in town for the wedding this week, so they had me start chatting to him. I played a guy who was lonely and tired of being in the same relationship for almost a decade, as it goes. I pretended to fall for him a bit, despite Reggie having a boyfriend. He’s known to go after married or committed guys. I was invited as his date to the wedding and I said that would be alright, that I would tell my boyfriend that he was a old friend coming to town. He liked that.”

“So it was bad that I came to check on you when I did?”

“On the contrary. Now he wants to invite you and I to dinner, to apologize for imposing. Said we made too good of a match to split us apart. I think he almost feels bad?”

“What?” Gus spoke.

“Buckle up, Spencer,” Lassiter said. “I’m taking you on a goddamn date.”

The following few hours were spent coaching and drilling Shawn about the cover story. Gus left while Shawn and Lassiter learned or keep a straight story for their upcoming date. “It’s tomorrow night,” Lassiter spoke. “We’re going to a restaurant, the three of us.”

“Okay,” Shawn said.

“We’re going to have to set a few ground rules. No kissing, no hugging, no groping.”

“No touching?” Shawn asked.

“What? And blow our covers? No. We can’t afford not to. You can touch me, as long as it’s the appropriate amount. If you go further than necessary though, please remember I have a gun, and I do know where you live. ”

“What if he wants us to kiss, Lassie! We would have to kiss, right? Not to blow or cover?”

“Why would he ask us to kiss?” Lassiter asked. “What I said earlier was a threat by the way.”

“We’d have to kiss prove we’re together!” Shawn continued.

“People…just don’t do that.”

“But what if he wants us to prove it?”

“Then we can kiss, I guess.”

“Should we practice just in case he does?”

Lassiter simply just gave Shawn a look.

“Fine,” shrugged, Shawn. “You don’t gotta be that way.”

“You’ve got the plan memorised right? I can’t have you messing this up, Spencer. He’s too big of a fish to lose now.”

“Yep,” Shawn spoke. “He picks us up at that fake house you’ve been staying at, we have dinner, then we go home.”

Lassiter nodded his head. “And the search warrant should come in the following day before he leaves. Our goal is to try and get him to stay in Santa Barbara, unaware, for a day or more if possible. But we have to be subtle about it, Spencer. Subtle.”

“Got it.”

“What time do you want me to meet you at your fake front house?” he asked.

“Come at like three, we’re going to have dinner around six but I asked him to come over a little earlier, for some wine.”

“Pfff. Wine?” Shawn scoffed.

“Yeah. Come over at three, don’t forget,” Lassiter said, bidding Shawn goodbye.

“Ding Dong, I’m here,” Shawn shouted from outside the next afternoon.

“Come in,” Lassiter grumbled, opening the door up. “Your 20 minutes late.”

“Wow,” Shawn whistled, looking at Lassiter.

“What-”

“You look good,” Shawn said, eyeing the other man some more. He was wearing not-a-suit for once, but instead a ¾ sleeve shirt with a bit of a pattern on it. Most people found their respective crush attractive when dressed up, but Shawn suddenly found Lassiter attractive when dressed down.

“Should we go over the story again?”

“I’m fine,” Shawn replied, relaying the information back about their story and plan.

“Fine,” Lassiter spoke. Shawn really did have a great memory. He eyed the other man and his outfit for the “date.” What he was wearing was close to his normal attire. However, he was dressed up a bit where Lassiter could see there was some effort put in.

“Why don’t you show me around?” Shawn spoke.

“Sure.”

It was a pretty nice place. But it didn’t look too well lived in despite things here and there. Hopefully it wouldn’t give them away. When they got to the bedroom, Shawn sat down on the bed. “This looks too clean.”

Lassiter raised his eyebrows.

“We are impassioned lovers,” Shawn exclaimed. “This bed is unacceptable,” he said, rolling around.

“You look like an idiot.”

“I’m your idiot for today.” Lassiter rolled his eyes. “And You’re free to join me, by the way,” Shawn said rolling around more into the covers.

“No thank you, I’m good. I think i’ll go ahead and set the table for wine. You enjoy yourself.”

Shawn pouted in bed for awhile before he got up to follow. He wished Lassiter would like him more. He was teasing, of course, but there was always some kernel of truth to his joking. He genuinely wished that this could be real, them dating. The fact that they had to act like they were together was a dream come true. When he came downstairs, Lassiter was already done setting up and was relaxed on the couch with TV on.

“Hey.”

“Hey,” Shawn spoke.

“I already did everything. You don’t have to worry.”

“Thanks.”

“Come over here,” Lassiter beckoned.

Entranced, Shawn obeyed. “Why? What is it?”

“Your clothes are wrinkled,” Lassiter said, standing up. “Here.”

What happened next surprised Shawn. Lassiter actually straightened him up, brushing his clothes and pulling them tight against his skin to get the wrinkles out. Shawn let out a sigh and a shiver that did not escape Lassiter’s attention.

Lassiter’s eyes darted towards Shawn’s lips, and for a second, something almost happened. At the last possible moment, Lassiter turned away.

Lassiter snapped back to himself. “Sorry,” he spoke, rushing away to the restroom. There he stayed. When he came out, he seemed fine, like nothing happened.

“So what are we watching?” Shawn asked, his voice trying not to shake. It appeared to be some sort of car show, he wasn’t sure which one.

Deacon came to the door about a half-hour later, dressed smartly in a suit and remarked how nice and clean the place was. Both Shawn and Lassiter automatically went into acting mode as soon as they saw him pull up in the driveway. Lassiter developed more of an easy going personality as Reggie, while Shawn’s character, John, was more protective than normal. Their change in personality was almost enough for the two to forget that they were pretending…almost.

Lassiter, especially after drinking wine, kept eying Shawn for some reason.

If it was to just look at him, to make sure he wouldn’t screw up the character, or because Reggie’s character should be looking at him, Shawn didn’t know.

“I don’t know about you two, but I’m about ready for some dinner,” Deacon said.

They agreed and Lassiter drove them to the restaurant in his borrowed undercover car. It was a Mercedes, something he would never drive in real life as he preferred to stick to American-made vehicles.

They, ate, drake and had fun at the restaurant and then returned back to the borrowed house. There, they had more to drink. It turned out Deacon was too inebriated to return home to his own place.

“You can crash on the couch,” Shawn offered.

He agreed and they set him up there. When they were grabbing spare blanket’s Shawn felt Lassiter’s hands grab him by the shoulders and pull him towards the cabinet.. “You realize since he’s here, you’re going to have to stay the night too,” he hissed.

Shawn blinked. Oh. “At least it gives you more time to search his place and get the warrant,” he whispered back sharply. He pulled away and continued tending to the violent guest.

Once they got him settled down, Shawn and Lassiter stood at cross-roads in the bedroom. Somebody was already on the house’s only couch and there was only one bed as well.

“What if he comes up here in the middle of the night?” Shawn asked.

“So?”

“I need a big strong-gun wielding hunk to protect me,” Shawn spoke. “Besides. He might get suspicious if he comes in and sees one of us takes the floor.”

“I don’t see why he would come in here-” Lassiter cut himself off, deciding that arguing would get them nowhere. There really was no place for the two of them to sleep comfortable besides the bed. Having one of them on the floor or elsewhere wasn’t fair. They were both grown men. The bed would have to suffice. “I’m taking the right side,” he finally said.

They showered, changed and then got in bed. It wasn’t nearly as awkward as it should have been, but it was still hard for them to fall asleep. Lassiter couldn’t remember the last time he shared a bed with somebody who wasn’t his ex wife.

“It’s been awhile,” Shawn said in the dark to no one.

“What?”

“It’s been awhile since I’ve been in bed with a guy,” Shawn commented ever so softly, not expecting Lassiter to be awake.

Lassiter’s cheeks turned a shade of red that he was thankful Shawn couldn’t see because of the dark. He turned from his back onto his side, away from Shawn.

Sometimes, he couldn’t tell when Shawn was actually telling the truth or not…but sometimes what he said really affected him.

At 4:30 A.M Lassiter’s phone rang. It was the department who he had earlier notified about Deacon staying the night. They had the warrant to search his place and belongings and found sufficient evidence against him. Lassiter was free to arrest the man as he seemed fit. Backup was mere minutes away. Lassiter discharged his weapon and went downstairs to apprehend the man, which he did in under 30 seconds. The man cursed and screamed, trying to free himself, waking Shawn up.

“Morning, honey,”Shawn greeted Lassiter. “Did you get the bad guy?”

Lassiter couldn’t help but smile.

The cops came to collect the man, the chief was even there. “I’ll get dressed then meet you guys down at the station,” Lassiter said as soon as he handed Deacon off to them.

The Chief waved him off. You can worry about that tomorrow, Carlton,” she spoke. “Get some rest.”

The department cleared out of the house in an instant and Lassiter felt like he was hit with a ton of bricks, he felt so tired, he now realized. “Come on,” Shawn grabbed his hand, leading him back to bed. He got Lassiter under the covers and then stared down at him. “I guess I’ll take the couch,” he said. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Stay.”

Lassiter Could hardly believe he uttered the words himself.

Shawn obeyed and crawled in the other side.

This time they fell asleep in an instant, not waking up until the morning.

Shawn was gone when Lassier woke up. The whole thing felt like a dream to him. A good dream though; he caught the bad guy, got to fake-date Shawn, the man of his dreams, and share a bed with him. Not too shabby.

He was congratulated for his work, of course, that following week at the station.  

A month later, because he did so good at his assignment, he was given another one.

“I don’t want to seem like I like or care about Spencer, because I don’t. But might I suggest he might join me? The fake-dating scenario worked well enough and of course, you know-”

“Carlton. If you want to ask Shawn on a date, just ask him,” the chief said.

“But I-”

“Carlton…”

“Yes, Chief.”

“Ask him.”

Lassiter stood there, mouth opening and closing. “Ok,” he finally nodded. He was going to try and ask Shawn Spencer on an actual date. If only he could work up the courage.

[starsgivemehp]

Take an older fic (or art for our artist friends) from about a year ago or older even and talk about it, show it off and hype it up.

Tagged by @imakemywings​

You’re Always Holding On to Stars

Ok so this fic was actually started more like 10 months ago, but eh, close enough. It’s... not finished... but I will finish it someday!

It’s one of my favorites just because it’s got two of my original Undertale muses in it! Red was the first undertale muse I ever used. He’s changed a lot since my initial characterization of him way back in, idk, 2017? 2016? He’s gained a LOT of depth and backstory, and he can be very nuanced. But on the other hand, he’s fun and not too complicated most of the time. He’s a little shit at times, but he’s got a good heart and he cares about his people very deeply. He’s been through some shit, too, nearly given up multiple times, but he’s still standing, somehow. He’s stronger than he thinks he is, and I just love him. <3

Now Arum, Arum was another super duper early muse, he got the first extra tumblr RP account I made, back when I was doing that. As a horrorfell, he’s got a horrific (haha) backstory, and he’s a salty, salty boy who likes to play “my life sucks more than your life sucks” because he’ll win, every time. He’s got major issues, but he, too, cares quite a bit, even if he hates showing it most of the time. They’re both just tragic and funny and put together, once they work out their issues, they can become a really heartwarming couple.

I remember the first shitposts I did with Arum’s blog were to have him post on Red’s blog, having ‘hacked’ it and mocking him a little. They squabbled and insulted each other and that’s exactly how this fic for them started! But in time, like they will in this fic, they grew to respect and understand each other, and even fall in love. Their mutual love of science really binds them together.

So without further ado, the info you need!

Rating: Explicit

Words: 5,914 (so far)

Pairing: Red/Arum (underfell!Sans/horrorfell!Sans)

Summary: After being left to rot underground for too long, after a civil war and starvation and the loss of too many loved ones, Arum hardly cares that he's on the surface now. There's more food, but the rest of it kinda sucks, and he's too bitter and angry to look for something to give his life meaning. He's just traipsing through, unable to die and unwilling to truly live. This crybaby smaller version of him is only pissing him off.

Red maybe has a few issues. Maybe. Like alcoholism, and a sex addiction, and a little bit of recreational drug use, and okay, maybe he's also depressed and anxious and traumatized, but he's fine. Really. Everything's fine. He isn't going to give up HoPe. Not again. He's... He's gonna make his dreams come true. He is. Maybe. Possibly. But it would be nice if that horrifying people-eater would stop being such an asshole. Yeah, that'd help.

Thus, the hatefucking begins.

Excerpt from chapter 2:

[Red] had lost count of how many drinks he’d had, but that was normal. It wasn’t all that many yet, he was pretty sure. He didn’t feel blackout drunk, just pleasantly drunk. But when he saw a familiar horrifying-looking skeleton settle into a seat just one away from him, he felt like he wasn’t quite drunk enough.

“oh, fuck, it’s you,” he muttered to himself. He didn’t really mean to say it aloud, and he cringed when he did, hoping the guy hadn’t heard. But Red should only be so lucky. The guy - Arum, he thought - swiveled his head instantly, good socket narrowing. He looked Red up and down, leaning on the bar.

“oh, fuck, it’s an asshole,” he snapped back, and Red flushed.

“whatever, at least i don’t eat people,” he huffed, knocking back another drink.

“yeah? good for you. bet ya never starved a day in your life, huh? bet ya never felt so hungry you couldn’t even stand up, or see straight, or even talk. huh? ya ever been in that situation?”

“no,” Red muttered, squirming a little in his seat. Sounded awful.

“yeah, that’s what i thought. so don’t judge me for surviving, you whiny crybaby jerk.”

“crybaby?” he protested, bristling and sitting up taller. “who the fuck’s a crybaby?”

“you! tearing up over lv, oh, life’s so hard with 8, i regret every bit of exp, i’m so precious and need to be sheltered!”

“hey, fuck you! you know what? fuck you!”

“What’s going on over here?” Pyre interrupted, looking between the two skeletons in confusion. Arum’s expression shifted strangely, and he looked up at the fire elemental in something like confusion. Red knocked back the last of his drink, then slammed the glass down and gestured for it to be filled again.

“nothin’, buddy, just a little moral disagreement.”

“Moral disagreement,” he repeated blankly.

“yeah. i got morals, and he don’t got any.”

“i’ll moral my foot up your coccyx, you-” Arum started, only for Pyre to flare up brightly.

“Okay, enough!”

Read the rest here!

[alluratron]

in anticipation of march 2nd here's my season 5 wishlist

AKA a list of things I’d like to see and theories I want confirmed in the upcoming season(s).

more info on operation kuron. i’d like more hints at what kuron is or even full on confirmation that s3/s4 shiro is a clone.

a genuine moment between allura and lotor. they’ve both lost their home planets, after all. lotor twice over.

lotor’s backstory. when tf was he born??? he knows honerva was his mother, but doesn’t seem to connect her with haggar. hell, haggar didn’t even know about honerva. so, was lotor born before the war? is he 10,000 years old? why does he look so young? was he frozen somehow? why are his eyes blue???? what is up with this guy???? 

lotor double crosses team voltron. i don’t want him to be an anti-hero. i want him to be undeniably a villain, even if he does have genuine aspects to him. less zuko, more azula (in that we understand that azula is a product of her upbringing, but still evil nonetheless).

allura’s magic. i always want more of allura’s magic. i want to learn more about sacred alteans and why allura is seemingly more powerful than what’s normal even for sacred alteans.

the white lion theory. in s4 ep3, acxa says that the two sincline (i see what they did there) ships used 60% of the comet and there’s more than enough left to make the third ship. this extra comet material is definitely going to come into play somehow. it’s likely going to become the head of the sincline ships but i’d love if it became the white lion and allura piloted it. not that i think allura has to be a paladin to be valuable, but she seems to want to be one (and i just want my bb to be happy so yknow).

keith’s heritage to be revealed. how galra is he? who is his mother?? can we meet her??? we know she was a blade but i want to know how she ended up on earth. it’d make sense if she was half galra half altean/polluxian.

yeah okay so i really think keith is part altean/polluxian. i need an explanation as to why he looks so damn human and that one fits for me.

i also really need to know why the hell keith could sense the blue lion. it’s been 39 episodes give me some answers @lauren @jds @entire vld crew.

the “for narti” squad to join team voltron. i know it’s unlikely because of lotor allying with the team, (and the trailer showing them with zarkon) but i really do think those girls deserve a chance at redemption. they’re such interesting characters and i’d love to see them interact with the team.

i also really need to know what the connection between keith and acxa is. we really haven’t seen any payoff for them meeting in the weblum or him recognising her in s3 ep6. she took a bag of scaultrite which could’ve been hinting that they have an altean (aka lotor) but they just as easily could’ve dropped that hint by how they tried to steal a piece of the teludav. acxa’s connection to keith seems to be something else at play. my hope is twins, or at least siblings.

narti comes back tbh. i don’t know how that would happen but i miss her and i want her back.

team voltron returns to the original lineup. i like matching colours, what can i say.

ok i massively downplayed that but seriously the bond between paladin and lion was so hyped up in s1 and s2 that the lion shuffle will never quite sit right with me. blue chose lance out of all available paladins. she didn’t go back to the castle on her own and take allura. she chose lance. that’s gotta mean something. and red has gone after keith too many times for their relationship to be over now. 4 times in one season. he loves his tiny fleshy son pls reunite them.

hunk’s family. i want to know about them. i want him to mention them at the very least. i know tyler said hunk’s mom taught him how to cook so please let him say this in canon. also acknowledge him being samoan in canon please and thanks.

lance’s “i’m just a boy from cuba” line. i thought it’d be in s3 but nope. i don’t mind waiting for his arc because i appreciate that it’s a long one, but i’m really curious as to the context of that line. also i want to know all the people in the picture from s1 ep2.

allura and coran talking about what altea was like before the war. just some cultural background.

coran’s family, if he had one. i want to know more about this man and what he lost when altea was destroyed.

more alteans in THIS reality because there’s no way this race of diplomats were all on the planet when it was destroyed. i don’t buy that, soz.

polluxians! i really want the alteans with two sets of markings in s3 ep7 to be polluxians. mainly because i want romelle to be introduced. apparently she’s badass. more badass girls is always a yes from me.

zaggar dynamic. does zarkon know that haggar was honerva? seems so, considering how he indulges her far more than he does anyone else. does he know that she knows now?

friendship. i know that sounds really lame lmao but i really do want friendship. i want the team to hangout. i want to see pairs or trios hanging out. i want casual team banter. i want wacky shenanigans. blease.,,,,.,. @dreamworks,.,.,,. just let these dorks be friends.

lance not being possessive of allura….ever again. please stop it’s uncomf. if they’re going down the romance route for them, cool. but do it by showing allura somewhat reciprocating lance’s interest. please don’t encourage the “guy hounds the girl until she agrees” trope. it’s harassment. lance has backed off from flirting and that’s great but if there’s gonna be a romance there, maybe have allura flirt instead.

if there isn’t a romance there, just give me them being good friends blease. their relationship has been so good and mutually supportive so please continue with that. facemask buddies would be a blessing. i’d actually cry.

more of that good co-leadership shallura content. keep allura in charge 2kforever. also let them confide in each other. it’s tough being a leader. also also, let them be soft please i beg. throw it back to the softness in s2 ep5. that level of softness is what i crave.

the team convincing keith that they’ll always love him and he doesn’t have to push them away because they’ll never leave him. help this boy overcome his fear of rejection please.

keith comforting lance in a way that actually, uh, works. i appreciate his effort in s3 ep6 but he’s gotta do better than that for them to have a balanced friendship.

lotor’s plan. i really need to know exactly what this boy is up to?? he wants to reap an “untold amount more” quintessence to do what? it’s surely not for the empire’s benefit - he doesn’t care about them. so why? is it something to do with his mother? also, why couldn't his ships cross into the other reality? they’re made of the same thing as voltron?

[astrofireworks]

Okay. But consider this. Ice skater extrordinare Eunwoo and hyped up fanboy ballerina Moonbin showing Eunwoo how to do a spin on a non slippery surface on metal slabs of thin blade

oh my god !!!!! yeS ANON I LOVE IT THANK THA N K i got this during work and yelped a bit a lot

ok so Bin’s dad’s friend has a small job opening and he’s looking for an intern to temporarily fill the job 

it’s mostly just working backstage for a show

and this mostly consists of cleaning the green room before rehearsals start, putting up a buffet line for staffs and performers and sweeping the green room after everyone leaves

and also a lot of busy stuff in between like shadowing stage managers and following whoever needs help and stuff 

idk how to say this in english but in singapore we call them saikang warriors 

and so Bin’s dad, looking at his son’s plans of lazing around the house all summer, signs him up immediately without even asking Bin 

not that he really needed to ask Bin  

because the moment he mentions “The Ice Prince: a Musical on Ice” as a casual conversation starter Bin leaps at him and starts talking a mile a minute about the most amazing lead actor slash ice skater 

truly what is that title why am i bullshit at naming things 

and when Bin’s dad casually slips in that his friend might have offered Bin a job as a backstage crew intern

Bin goes 

cr a z y 

backstory time Bin is a danseur in a small ballet school 

i mean, he’s easily one of the best in the school

if not for Minhyuk he’d easily be the principal ballerino too

and recently his ballet teacher brought their class out to watch the musical, saying something about paying attention to the muscles needed for ice skating and how that compares to ballet and something else about the choreography 

although honestly the moment Bin laid eyes on the lead actor he’ll admit everything his teacher asked him to pay attention to flew out of his head 

forget the plot, forget the musical, forget the choreography 

all he paid attention to throughout the entire thing was the lead 

how he executed beautiful bracket turns and butterfly jumps and death spirals and biellmann spins 

i’m so sorry if i get this wrong rip i’m reading off wikipedia as i go if anyone knows anything about ice skating or ballet feel free to correct me!!!!

and all the while singing and delivering his lines perfectly 

literally ????? Bin’s idol 

so naturally when Bin‘s offered the chance to work backstage and meet cha Eunwoo, ice skater extraordinaire, 

he jumps at the chance (no pun intended)

and so the first day he walks into his new job, in a simple black t-shirt and fitting jeans, nametag affixed on his shirt, bright and eager to help wherever he can,

only to see Eunwoo casually doing a split in the middle of the green room 

Bin blinks

oh my god 

it’s him 

in the flesh 

in real life

doing 

a split 

casually, in a t-shirt and loose sweats

in the middle of a room

i mean Bin can do a mean front split balance, sometimes en pointe, sometimes not, but 

truly he has never seen someone look more beautiful doing a split than Cha Eunwoo 

Eunwoo isn’t even smiling he’s so focussed on stretching 

His hair is totally mussed up but he looks so regal still 

Bin is so shook 

But he swallows the nerves and goes about with his mop and starts cleaning up around the room 

In relative silence

Until a very amused voice comes from the back, “you can stop avoiding the centre of the room now, I’m done stretching" 

And wow truly Bin has heard Eunwoo speak before 

I mean, obviously, 

Given that he’s in a musical 

But wow his voice irl??????? A magical??? 

Bin thinks "Ice Prince” is a great title because Eunwoo’s voice sounds kind of like if you have a glassful of ice and was clinking it around 

And Bin flushes and scrambles for a response and goes: “uh yessir" 

Only for Eunwoo to laugh 

And wow really if you think his voice with a hint of smile was beautiful 

His voice with a lot of smile 

Bin’s not sure how fast you can fall in love with someone without meeting their eyes or looking into their face directly 

But he’s pretty sure that voice has him already dead 

"don’t call me sir, I don’t think I’m that much older than you" 

And he really doesn’t think so - this new intern looks about 20??? 

There’s no way he’s that much younger than Eunwoo

And Eunwoo is pretty young too, if he does say so himself 

"I’m???? the new intern yes hello" 

Cute when flustered, Eunwoo’s brain notes 

Must fluster more, Eunwoo’s brain notes 

Wait what 

"yes, I gathered" 

Cue Bin spluttering because wow what possessed him to inform Cha Eunwoo, star of the show, now sitting cross legged in the middle of the room, that he, an intern, mopping around the room, was (guess what?!) an intern 

Must fluster more, Eunwoo’s brain insists 

Ok fine, Eunwoo thinks, I’ll get up and go over 

Maybe follow some romance field manuals 

Lean close to him and make him blush or whatever 

(Haha "or whatever” playing it cool here, Eunwoo, Eunwoo’s brain snorts) 

(Shut up) 

Cue Eunwoo trying to get up from the floor 

Cue Eunwoo’s foot deciding it would be hilarious if he couldn’t

Cue Eunwoo tumbling back onto the floor 

Bin: 

Bin: 

Bin: oh my god 

Bin: oh mY GOD ARE YOU OK 

Because this is the lead actor on ice!!!!! what is he going to do if he can’t move !!!!!!!!! 

Eunwoo just chuckling in embarrassment because 

Wow truly good job, foot, Eunwoo’s brain snorts 

If you weren’t so busy staring at the very fit new intern perhaps I would have moved better, Eunwoo’s foot retorts

Eunwoo’s brain is stunned into silence for a while 

@ Bin:“Ah it’s normal" 

@ Bin: "Lmao did u expect people on ice to be that graceful on land too" 

Bin blinks 

"But you look so good on ice????? You do all these beautiful bracket turns and spirals and splits and??????”

Eunwoo flushing because wow it’s one thing hearing it from coach Jinjin and from critics but hearing it from this cute human blinking at him from behind a mop???? 

It’s a whole new level of praise 

Maybe it’s because you think he’s cute, Eunwoo’s brain hums

(Oh my god shut up???) 

Eunwoo flushing even more 

Bin, now slightly embarrassed bc Eunwoo hasn’t responded other than blushing quite a bit: “well yeah I bet you’ve heard it quite a bit before" 

Eunwoo, attempting to be suave and saying "well, not from anyone as cute as you are” while leaning back on his hands 

Not today, his brain cheers 

Eunwoo landing on his back with his hands splayed out like he’s cheering too

He’s crying inside, he really is

And cute intern boy is probably leaning on his mop and judging him now, Eunwoo doesn’t dare to look

Until he feels feet shuffling alongside him 

He opens his eyes 

And looks right into Bin’s worried ones 

Wow his eyes are really nice 

His hair’s really nice too 

Jesus what is this intern 

“uh are you alright” @ Eunwoo 

Bin’s gripping his mop and blinking anxiously  

“yEs yES" 

And Eunwoo’s trying to stand up and get his bearings but 

Immediately falls on his ass again because heck nobody’s supposed to be able to stand up from a lying position that fast without getting dizzy 

And all that echoes in Bin’s mind is "lmao did u expect people on ice to be that graceful on land too" 

And slowly he starts to smirk

Because Cha Eunwoo, ice skating extraordinaire, prince of the ice rink and king of musical theatre, 

Cannot function 

On land 

And is currently lying on the ground blinking up at Bin with the most beautiful eyes with the darkest eyelashes Bin has ever seen in his life 

And for a while Bin is speechless, staring mindlessly at Eunwoo, 

Until he remembers courtesy lmao and offers to help Eunwoo up 

And Eunwoo’s clutching onto Bin’s hand praying that Bin doesn’t mention anything about how he’s basically a klutz on land but then all he sees are bright eyes and a toothy smile and 

Bin, hauling Eunwoo to his feet: "Wow you can spin all you want on ice but the second you get on dry land you’re basically a klutz aren’t you" 

agree with him, Eunwoo’s brain demands 

Eunwoo, stuttering a bit: "um yes, probably”

And he sees Bin’s face crinkle into the cutest smile and decides that as much of a lil shit his brain is, it’s worth embarrassing himself to see this boy smile

And they stand awkwardly there for a while, Bin leaning against his mop and Eunwoo not-so-subtly staring at Bin’s face 

Until Bin coughs and Eunwoo startles and 

“Well I should continue str-" 

"Uh I should go back to clea-" 

And they both laugh because wow clean or stretch all you want all you’re going to be thinking of for the next hour are each other buddies let me tell you

Eunwoo sliding glances over at the cute intern occasionally 

Eventually deciding to attempt to do a scratch spin in socks 

Even though coach Jinjin tells him never to try anything not on ice because he’s just an idiot with two left feet when he’s not on ice 

But to impress the cute guy mopping his way around the room??? 

Yes, Eunwoo’s brain says

Do it, Eunwoo’s brain says 

And so Eunwoo gets into position and starts trying to push off into a spin

No, Eunwoo’s feet suggest brightly 

Fall down! Eunwoo’s feet suggest, beaming 

And so Eunwoo does, staggering against soft cushions laid strategically around the room by Jinjin, familiar by now with the nonsense Eunwoo tries to pull even though he’s not on ice 

And so Bin watches as the Ice Prince, star of the show, impresser of multiple ice skating judges, 

Trips over his own feet into a pile of cushions on the floor 

Amazing, truly, 

And usually when younger danseurs try Fouetté spins in class Bin snorts and leaves a nicer person (usually Minhyuk) to help them

But this time,,,,,,,,,,,,, Bin can’t help,,,, but,,,,

He pushes his mop to the corner and toes off his sneakers and slides over to help Eunwoo up from the pile of cushions 

Eunwoo: ??????? 

His feet are big, Eunwoo’s brain helpfully supplies 

You know what else is bi- 

shUT UP

Eunwoo shakes his head violently and takes Bin’s outstretched hand and gets up 

Just in time for Bin to let go 

(Eunwoo’s hand silently mourns the loss of rough warm palm against his own) 

And execute a perfect fouetté spin 

What

The

HECKITY

HECK 

?????????? 

WHAT THE HECK IS THIS INTERN 

Eunwoo doesn’t even bother hiding it he just openly gapes at Bin

Like ???????????? WhO

"ah,,, I’m a danseur” ok tbh Bin’s a little unnerved by Eunwoo’s staring like he’s handsome and all but 

Bin really can’t take anymore staring or looking into Eunwoo’s eyes because wow truly he’s standing close enough to count Eunwoo’s eyelashes if he looks up he might have a heart attack and cry 

Eunwoo, echoing: “a danseur,,,,,,,," 

Ok that explains all the lean muscle & fitness & it definitely explains the perfect Not-on-ice scratch spin Bin just did

not his cute smile though, eunwoo thinks that’s just a him thing 

"A fouetté spin,” Bin quietly corrects 

Wait

He said that all out loud ??? :—-) 

Rip Eunwoo

Lmao judging by Bin’s blush he truly did wow thanks Eunwoo way to go 

“I can teach you if you’d like” and now both Bin and Eunwoo are flushed red and shyly avoiding each other’s gaze 

Eunwoo: “Uh” (coughs) “I mean” (coughs) “uh yes please" 

Because you know

As far as Eunwoo’s romance field manual goes

If someone teaches you a physical action 

You’re very very likely going to end up in a position in close proximity to the other person

Such as 

Face to face, perhaps 

:—-) 

And he sees the danseur’s face visibly brighten then flush red 

Bin: "well uh" 

Bin: 

Bin: wAit this means he has to ????? 

touch 

He chokes slightly then decides to just give Eunwoo very detailed instructions 

Because if he goes nearer to Eunwoo than he already is he might combust and where will the company be without an intern to mop their floors?

Wow this is so slow burn I’m so sorry 

Bin giving eunwoo instructions like "yes lift up your leg" 

"point the toe" 

"yeah your hands go up here" 

"no up here" 

"no hERE" 

Eunwoo being mildly disappointed Bin isn’t touching him in any form 

Until

Hey Eunwoo, Eunwoo’s foot says

You know what might be fun? Eunwoo’s foot says 

If I gave way right about,,,,,

WAIT, Eunwoo screams in his head 

Now? Eunwoo’s foot completes its sentence and cackles, sending him toppling over into Bin 

Alright in an ideal situation Bin would land on the soft cushions

Eunwoo would land on Bin

Nose to nose 

After which Eunwoo would willingly admit his attraction to Bin and ask to kiss this beautiful mop-wielding man

But of course this isn’t an ideal situation and Eunwoo finds himself smooshed against Bin’s (wow very nice) chest, with Bin slightly confused and literally butthurt 

But not minding Eunwoo being smooshed against him at all

"Oh shIT I’m sorry ?????????" 

"It’s alright I think we’ve already established that you’re a klutz off the ice" 

Cue Eunwoo torn between blushing and shaking his fist at Bin 

He opts for the former and slowly pushes himself off of Bin 

"UhhhhhHhhh" 

Ask him out, Eunwoo’s brain supplies 

"Can we go out" 

Bin, confused: like outside ??? To the ring???? 

Out for coffee, Eunwoo’s brain hisses 

"Out for coffee,” Eunwoo repeats, slightly dazed 

Bin: 

Bin: 

Eunwoo: “as in, on a date??" 

Bin: error 404 brain not found 

Eunwoo: "to apologise for falling on you?" 

Bin: 

Bin:

Bin: :-) 

Score one for eunwoo!!!!!

Successfully asked someone cute out on a date !!!!!!!! 

literally all i write is binu taking each other out on dates as apologies for stupid things they do i need to stop with this trope

Bin, because he’s Bin: "well yeah someone’s gotta make sure you don’t spill coffee all over yourself”

Eunwoo: 

Eunwoo: “make no mistake you’re cute but I will fight you”

Cue Eunwoo chasing Bin around the room and Bin attempting to fend Eunwoo off with the mop until coach Jinjin walks into the room

“Eunwoo :—) what the hell is this”

O shit

Fbsjhdjshd omg thank you ice skating anon I love this AU so much dhskdhsj your instructor & his boyfriend are actual couple AU goals I’m weeping

[alluratron]

How much of my s5 wishlist did i get?

This is just my wishlist as I posted it before with stuff I got bolded. sub points are current discussion

AKA a list of things I’d like to see and theories I want confirmed in the upcoming season(s).

more info on operation kuron. i’d like more hints at what kuron is or even full on confirmation that s3/s4 shiro is a clone.

i mean really we weren't not gonna get anything on this but i'm so fucking happy that we've been validated that kuron is different than shiro and even the characters notice it

a genuine moment between allura and lotor. they’ve both lost their home planets, after all. lotor twice over.

tbf we don't know how genuine lotor was being but even if his intentions are not, the dialogue seemed very much so at times, especially the stuff about honerva and that planet zarkon put him in charge of so i'll take it

lotor’s backstory. when tf was he born??? he knows honerva was his mother, but doesn’t seem to connect her with haggar. hell, haggar didn’t even know about honerva. so, was lotor born before the war? is he 10,000 years old? why does he look so young? was he frozen somehow? why are his eyes blue???? what is up with this guy????

ZOMBIE BABY HAHAHAHAHA. also he's centuries old and he's still alive bc the rift made him immortal(?) like haggar i guess. and he's like....an artificial sacred altean like haggar??

lotor double crosses team voltron. i don’t want him to be an anti-hero. i want him to be undeniably a villain, even if he does have genuine aspects to him. less zuko, more azula (in that we understand that azula is a product of her upbringing, but still evil nonetheless).

not yet but i still strongly believe this will come

allura’s magic. i always want more of allura’s magic. i want to learn more about sacred alteans and why allura is seemingly more powerful than what’s normal even for sacred alteans.

i mean, it was more acquired alchemy than inherent magic but there was still some inherent magic so im not complaining too much. shes still special so :')

the white lion theory. in s4 ep3, acxa says that the two sincline (i see what they did there) ships used 60% of the comet and there’s more than enough left to make the third ship. this extra comet material is definitely going to come into play somehow. it’s likely going to become the head of the sincline ships but i’d love if it became the white lion and allura piloted it. not that i think allura has to be a paladin to be valuable, but she seems to want to be one (and i just want my bb to be happy so yknow).

i mean we got a white lion, just not in the way i anticipated lol. i'm still holding out hope for a robot white lion from the extra comet material tho

keith’s heritage to be revealed. how galra is he? who is his mother?? can we meet her??? we know she was a blade but i want to know how she ended up on earth. it’d make sense if she was half galra half altean/polluxian.

ok so his heritage wasnt revealed per se but WE MET HIS MOM!!!! krolia literally looks like purple keith lmao. i expect that we'll hear the story of how she met his dad next season. also she looks mixed race. here's a post i made on why i believe she's half polluxian

yeah okay so i really think keith is part altean/polluxian. i need an explanation as to why he looks so damn human and that one fits for me.

i also really need to know why the hell keith could sense the blue lion. it’s been 39 episodes give me some answers @lauren @jds @entire vld crew.

the “for narti” squad to join team voltron. i know it’s unlikely because of lotor allying with the team, (and the trailer showing them with zarkon) but i really do think those girls deserve a chance at redemption. they’re such interesting characters and i’d love to see them interact with the team.

i also really need to know what the connection between keith and acxa is. we really haven’t seen any payoff for them meeting in the weblum or him recognising her in s3 ep6. she took a bag of scaultrite which could’ve been hinting that they have an altean (aka lotor) but they just as easily could’ve dropped that hint by how they tried to steal a piece of the teludav. acxa’s connection to keith seems to be something else at play. my hope is twins, or at least siblings.

more hints that there's something there but nothing confirmed yet. but (as explained in my polluxian krolia post linked above) acxa and krolia have the exact same eyes with the light-coloured pupils so i'm almost certain acxa and keith are siblings

narti comes back tbh. i don’t know how that would happen but i miss her and i want her back.

team voltron returns to the original lineup. i like matching colours, what can i say.

ok i massively downplayed that but seriously the bond between paladin and lion was so hyped up in s1 and s2 that the lion shuffle will never quite sit right with me. blue chose lance out of all available paladins. she didn’t go back to the castle on her own and take allura. she chose lance. that’s gotta mean something. and red has gone after keith too many times for their relationship to be over now. 4 times in one season. he loves his tiny fleshy son pls reunite them.

hunk’s family. i want to know about them. i want him to mention them at the very least. i know tyler said hunk’s mom taught him how to cook so please let him say this in canon. also acknowledge him being samoan in canon please and thanks.

he mentioned his mom at least. 

lance’s “i’m just a boy from cuba” line. i thought it’d be in s3 but nope. i don’t mind waiting for his arc because i appreciate that it’s a long one, but i’m really curious as to the context of that line. also i want to know all the people in the picture from s1 ep2.

we got some names! marco, luis and veronica aww. obvs thats not everyone but i've got my guesses as to who's who. marco and luis are green t-shirt and blue shirt, veronica is white dress, mom is orange dress, grandma is pink cardigan, and the rest are his dad, grandpa, aunt, green t-shirt's wife and their two kids (aka lance's niece and nephew)

allura and coran talking about what altea was like before the war. just some cultural background.

coran’s family, if he had one. i want to know more about this man and what he lost when altea was destroyed.

more alteans in THIS reality because there’s no way this race of diplomats were all on the planet when it was destroyed. i don’t buy that, soz.

polluxians! i really want the alteans with two sets of markings in s3 ep7 to be polluxians. mainly because i want romelle to be introduced. apparently she’s badass. more badass girls is always a yes from me.

zaggar dynamic. does zarkon know that haggar was honerva? seems so, considering how he indulges her far more than he does anyone else. does he know that she knows now?

friendship. i know that sounds really lame lmao but i really do want friendship. i want the team to hangout. i want to see pairs or trios hanging out. i want casual team banter. i want wacky shenanigans. blease.,,,,.,. @dreamworks,.,.,,. just let these dorks be friends.

garrison trio......coming through.,.,,.,in clutch. they really just saved my life like that huh.i can't believe im so blessed

lance not being possessive of allura….ever again. please stop it’s uncomf. if they’re going down the romance route for them, cool. but do it by showing allura somewhat reciprocating lance’s interest. please don’t encourage the “guy hounds the girl until she agrees” trope. it’s harassment. lance has backed off from flirting and that’s great but if there’s gonna be a romance there, maybe have allura flirt instead.

it's debatable but i'm gonna give the benefit of the doubt and say he wasn't possessive of her so much as he was worried for her safety with trick ass bitch lotor hanging around

if there isn’t a romance there, just give me them being good friends blease. their relationship has been so good and mutually supportive so please continue with that. facemask buddies would be a blessing. i’d actually cry.

that scene in the training room is actually so blessed. i love life. i love them. i love.

more of that good co-leadership shallura content. keep allura in charge 2kforever. also let them confide in each other. it’s tough being a leader. also also, let them be soft please i beg. throw it back to the softness in s2 ep5. that level of softness is what i crave.

it's not co-leadership shallura bc its not shiro but! they're definitely both in leadership positions so im loving it. allura was very much in charge and i'm so happy

the team convincing keith that they’ll always love him and he doesn’t have to push them away because they’ll never leave him. help this boy overcome his fear of rejection please.

keith comforting lance in a way that actually, uh, works. i appreciate his effort in s3 ep6 but he’s gotta do better than that for them to have a balanced friendship.

lotor’s plan. i really need to know exactly what this boy is up to?? he wants to reap an “untold amount more” quintessence to do what? it’s surely not for the empire’s benefit - he doesn’t care about them. so why? is it something to do with his mother? also, why couldn’t his ships cross into the other reality? they’re made of the same thing as voltron?