#like.... it's so romantic like that one episode of black mirror

[peachdues]

Phantasmagoria (Part I)

Tell Me to Stop (Sanemi’s Version)

Sanemi x F!Reader, Modern AU

A/N: it's time. This one is very personal to me, and I've drawn a lot upon my own life/experiences to write this. I hope it lives up to expectations, but in case it doesn't, remember there is still a part two and a part three (so more smut/angst/feelings).

Massive TW: grief, loss of parent to cancer, canon character death (in non-canon way), drug and alcohol abuse, anger, unhealthy coping mechanisms galore.

CW: 10.5k words; explicit sexual content. Unprotected sex/oral (F!receiving), mildly dubious consent (Reader doesn't tell Sanemi it's her first time, and there's a question whether he would've done it); both Sanemi and Reader are under the influence. Creampie, lots of cursing, angst.

For the playlist, listen here.

Without further ado!

Speak in tongues / I don't even recognize your face / mirror on the wall / tell me all the ways to stay away

phan·tas·ma·go·ri·a – an exhibition of optical effects and illusions; a constantly shifting complex succession of things seen or imagined.

Once upon a time, as a little girl, she’d believed love was pretty; she imagined it would be soft, pink, and shiny and make her feel warm and pretty in return.

As an adult, she’d come to realize that love wasn’t pretty at all; it was cold, lonely, and painful.

Love was dull and harsh and all-consuming.

Love was black.

For Y/N, loving Sanemi Shinazugawa was like falling into one of the black holes she’d learned about in science class as a child. It was infinite and empty and there was no space for anything but the all-consuming void that promised to rip her apart and condemn her to oblivion.

This love had taken her naïve, romantic heart to chew up and spit back out, leaving her only with a misshapen lump held together by the leftover sinew of her hopes and dreams.

Y/N believed her love for Sanemi would be the death of her. It was a poison that had seeped into her veins and was slowly rotting her from the inside out. She knew it was stupid to love someone who would not and could not love her back, but she hadn’t yet figured out a way to stop.

And since she could not stop loving him, she could only resign herself to its toxicity until it killed her for good.

—————————————————————————

Summer had ended, and Y/N was dreading having to return to Ubayashiki University. Dreading it because she’d spent the entirety of the summer back in her – their – hometown, caring for her ailing mother, and that isolation had meant she didn’t have to wake up every day with a pit in her stomach at the thought of running into him. But then her mother had finally succumbed to her illness a week prior, and Y/N was now forced to carry on in the world as though hers had not just been blown apart.

Looking back, Genya’s death had marked the end for a lot of things, including the once-irreverent trio that had been Y/N, Kyojuro, and Sanemi.

They had been friends – the best of friends, really, since pre-school, in large part because of their parents. Kyojuro, as warm and as vibrant as the sun, had been their grounding force, always wise beyond his years but quick to laugh. Then there was Sanemi, and though he could be prone to his episodes of anger, he was a staunch, loyal defender of his friends and would do anything if it meant making them smile. Last, there had been Y/N, and she’d been so happy to just love her boys and be loved by them. She’d always felt invincible with them by her side, ready to take on the world, together.

And for a while, they did.

Their friendship withstood even the toughest of trials. It lasted through the death of Kyojuro’s mother and the subsequent decline of his father, so unable to cope that he could not function without the bitter sting of alcohol to soothe the pain of Rukka’s absence. Their friendship had even endured the deaths of both Sanemi’s and Genya’s parents at the hands of a drunk driver, the shrapnel from the crash permanently scarring both of the boys’ faces, though Sanemi had born the worst of it.

But because they’d had one another, they’d made it through. Y/N’s own mother, though a single parent, took in both Shinazugawa boys until the state placed them in a home, though that rarely stopped Sanemi from frequenting Y/N’s house after school. Even Kyojuro grew to be a constant fixture around her house, drawn to the warmth and love her mother showed both boys as if they were her own.

And then they all grew up, and they were set to begin their first year of university at Ubaya-U come the fall. The three of them had been eager to set out into the world, to grab at any and all opportunities that arose, and for each of them to become great in their own right.

But not two weeks into the fall semester, Sanemi received the phone call that had brought his world crashing down around him. Genya, his beloved, cherished younger brother, had been shot dead outside of their foster home, killed by some kid in retaliation for some fight Genya hadn’t picked.

Y/N hadn’t been with him when he received the news, instead only getting a text from Kyojuro to getthefuckoverhereNOW. She’d bolted from her class and ran to the boys’ dorm across campus. She’d found Sanemi, curled into a ball on the floor beneath a hole he’d punched into the drywall, sobbing, and she hadn’t known what else to do but hold him along with Kyojuro while her own tears threatened to blind her.

Hours later, when Sanemi realized he would have to return to their hometown to make final arrangements, he’d asked Y/N to accompany him to the train station. Kyojuro would have gone as well, but he’d been unable to call off from work, and so the three had planned for Y/N to return with him the next day, as she was the only one between the three of them with a car on campus.

Of course, Y/N agreed to drive Sanemi to the train station, because she couldn’t possibly imagine leaving him alone. He’d looked so lost, so broken, and she would’ve done anything, anything at all, to lessen the weight on his shoulders.

Because she loved him, and she’d loved him for years, and love meant giving everything you had, everything you were to the other, especially in times of need. So she agreed, and though he’d been unable to speak, Sanemi had rested his head on her shoulder in silent gratitude.

She’d not known that, in her efforts to love and support him at his lowest, she would doom their group’s entire dynamic.

In retrospect, she shouldn’t have said anything. It was the wrong time, the wrong way to tell him what was in her heart, and she’d known that; but she hadn’t been able to stop herself. She’d been unable to stop the way her heart clenched as she walked him towards the platform at Amane Station, his head hung low and his eyes rimmed red from hours of crying. It hurt her to see him in such pain, hurt so badly that she’d been desperate to alleviate it in any way she could. She’d thought it would have been enough to hug him, to give him a reassuring squeeze and a promise that she and Kyo would be back home the following morning and that he wouldn’t be alone.

But then, before she could stop them, those cursed words had fallen from her lips and ruined her, ruined everything.

I love you, Sanemi. With all my heart.

As soon as she’d heard herself say it, she’d known she’d fucked up. She knew, as Sanemi stiffened in her embrace and pulled away from her, that she’d indelibly altered things between them, and that she could never take those words back. And she’d known, the moment she saw the cold, bewildered look in his eyes, so angry it made her stomach drop, that he neither returned nor wanted her love.

“What the fuck am I supposed to do with that?” He snapped, stepping back from her, creating a chasm between them that could not be bridged.

His train had finally arrived, and he’d stormed away from her, turned his back to her, and refused to look back as he boarded the car. She’d stayed behind, standing there amidst a throng of travelers and their families, for a long while, tears slipping hot and fast down her cheeks until the salt burned permanent tracks into her skin.

It hadn’t mattered that Kyojuro had called her later, Sanemi having filled him in on what happened, what she’d done, to tell her not to worry; that Sanemi had just been frustrated and overwhelmed, and that all would be well between them after the funeral.

Kyojuro lied. Sanemi hadn’t so much as looked her way the entire time she and Kyo were with him during his brother’s funeral and had refused to even acknowledge her small greeting. Y/N understood he was going through the worst pain imaginable, and she’d known he was angry because she’d dumped her feelings on him when he’d been in no place to receive them, but his rejection still fucking hurt.

Worse than his rejection had been his total ignorance of her, his obstinate refusal to so much as acknowledge her existence. Y/N hadn’t been able to understand how he could be so angry with her to not even treat her like a person, to pretend as though they hadn’t been friends – best friends – since they were in diapers.

Y/N had wanted to give him space, however, and wanted herself to stop loving him so things could one day go back to how they’d been, so she started to distance herself from Sanemi, believing she would still have Kyojuro, her sun, to lean on if she needed it.

But she’d been wrong, so very wrong. Because Kyojuro had defended Sanemi with a not-so-gentle reminder that ‘he’s dealing with a lot right now,’ which only fractured her heart even more because Kyojuro had taken a side and it hadn’t been hers.

Thus, Y/N was left to love them both at a distance, and she was forced to watch them carry on their friendship without her, even though they’d all come to Ubaya-U together and even though her exile from the group meant that Y/N had no friends at all.

So, her first semester at university, the semester she’d dreamed would be life-changing and exciting, became a cacophony of sobs smothered into her pillow at night so her roommate wouldn’t hear her winking out like a dying star. And she had no friends, because her best friend didn’t think she was his, and she couldn’t stop loving a boy who didn’t want to love her back.

—————————————————————————

Her mom got sick in the spring of her first year. Initially, it had been a good prognosis. Y/N somehow managed to balance her busy, pre-law class load with her mother’s care, fluidly alternating between office hours and hospital appointments. But no friends meant she’d had no one to talk to, no one to lean on in those moments when her legs gave out and sobs wracked her body because she’d been so fucking scared of losing her mom. But she’d been kept busy enough to be able to squash that loneliness down and ignore it like her boys had ignored her, and so, she’d pushed through.

By the time summer had come, however, things had grown exponentially worse. Several nights ended in Y/N having to call an ambulance to rush to her home, because her mom had fallen and Y/N wasn’t strong enough to lift her by herself, and there hadn’t been anyone else she could call.

There had been a few times – maybe two or three – when she’d passed Kyojuro on the street, home briefly to check on his little brother, and the fiery blonde would make a face like he wanted to say something like he wanted to talk to her or care about her, but Y/N would turn and run before he had the chance.

She never saw Sanemi, though that hadn’t surprised her. She hadn’t expected him to be able to stomach being back home so soon after Genya.

Her mother’s condition yo-yoed throughout the summer and into the early fall of her second year of university. Just when it finally seemed as though things were looking up for her mother, when she was just days from her last treatment, she died.

No one had been there to hold her – to comfort her – when Y/N began wailing as her mother’s chest rose for the last time and did not go back down.

Her mother had died, and Y/N had been left utterly and completely alone.

Her mother’s funeral had taken place on a sunny October day, the autumn air cool and crisp as an apple. She’d stood beside her mother’s casket as stranger after stranger passed, offering their condolences and personal anecdotes of her mother’s kindness.

Not once had she seen a familiar face. Not once had either of her boys made an appearance, not even for the woman who had loved them as her own.

She’d returned to campus a few days later, and because the universe had decided she’d not suffered nearly enough for some unknown crime, she ran into him. By the cruelest twist of fate, Sanemi decided to cross the street opposite her at the same time, and what was left of her heart skipped several beats.

For all her efforts to put distance between them, she still loved him, and it was a realization so bitter she thought she would start dry heaving right there on the pavement. She tried to duck her head, to avoid catching his attention, but the crosswalk light changed, and he was suddenly walking towards her, and she couldn’t help but chance a glance up.

Lilac eyes collided with her own, and Y/N thought the world was about to open beneath her and swallow her whole.

His gaze lingered for a touch longer than normal for a stranger, and Y/N feared he’d be able to see the scars from her tears on her face or see how her heart still bore the tattoo of his name. But then he blinked, and she took the chance to vanish among the throng of students, dashing back to her dorm before the tears could spill down her cheeks once more.

She barely made it to her room before her legs gave out from under her, her sobs choking from her throat.

She wished her mother had taken her with her.

—————————————————————————

It was fitting that Y/N met the personification of spring at the start of the spring semester.

Her name was Mitsuri, and Y/N sat next to her in her 8:00 AM class. The girl was so bubbly and bright that it was difficult, even for the drab Y/N to resist striking up a conversation with her. Mitsuri was a streak of color that bloomed across Y/N’s eternal gray sky, with her exotic pink and green hair and permanent blush. It took only a few weeks, but Mitsuri and Y/N became the best of friends, and Y/N could not get over how good it felt to have one of those again.

Mitsuri and Y/N began to do everything together, and bit by bit, Y/N felt herself smiling more, laughing as her friend flirted with every him, her, and them who crossed their path. They figured out they shared nearly every class together, and when they weren’t furiously taking notes during their lectures, they were studying together in small corners around campus, dreaming of what was to come after exams and graduation in a year and a half.

Her pink-haired friend helped Y/N feel confident again, like a person. Mitsuri helped bring Y/N back out of the shell she’d so carefully crafted in the wake of her abandonment, and she began to feel a little lighter, a little more buoyant thanks to the happy, beautiful girl at her side.

That wasn’t to say Mitsuri didn’t have her own demons – she very much did. At night, Mitsuri and Y/N push their beds together in the latter’s dorm (Y/N’s first roommate had long since moved out). There, huddled together under the mess of blankets and pillows, they would whisper the names of their heartache with one another – Sanemi and Obanai – and they comforted each other, wiping their tears away with soft promises that as long as they had one another, they would be okay.

By March, Mitsuri convinced Y/N to go clubbing with her. Y/N was hesitant until she looked in the mirror after her friend had spent the evening primping her and turning her into a woman Y/N scarcely recognized in the mirror. Her friend had dressed her in a short, emerald green dress that hugged every curve just right, a teasing slit going high up on her left thigh. Y/N’s hair had been slicked back into a high ponytail that swung tantalizingly between her shoulder blades. Her cleavage was a bit more exposed in the pinkette’s dress than Y/N was accustomed to, but damn if she didn’t look downright sumptuous.

Y/N was determined to let loose, to not think about the black stain on her heart that was him, and so she greedily accepted Mitsuri’s hand as the two braved the chilly, early spring air. Mitsuri pulled her through the doors of the club -- the Kizuki Moon Lounge -- and for the first time in a year and a half, she felt alive.

Beneath the strobe of multi-colored lights, amidst the pulsing bass of the techno-music threatening to rupture her eardrums, Y/N had found herself anew; no longer was she the sad, morose girl who barely existed. Under Mitsuri’s care, Y/N transformed into a raving princess, who owned the sticky floor of the Kizuki’s club each time she and her friend traipsed onto it in their too-high heels, wearing too-short dresses and clutching too-strong drinks in their greedy hands.

In April, Mitsuri introduced her to Shinobu, a wisp of a pharmacology student who was every bit as beautiful as she was terrifying, though Y/N could not exactly place why the petite girl could scare off any ill-intentioned man that tried to swagger over to them, given her ever-present, sugary-sweet smile.

She also met three girls – Hinatsuru, Makio, and Suma – who were beautiful and fun-loving and rounded out the newly-formed friend group with their fire-and-ice personalities.

First, there was Hinatsuru – quieter, but still capable of throwing it back and having a grand old time, especially once her drink of choice (rum and Coke) had the opportunity to work its way through her blood. A pretty blush was always the telltale sign that Hina was ready to jump up on a table and captivate anyone who had the pleasure of watching her dance.

Next, there was Makio, brash and bold, but fiercely loyal. Some asshole had made the mistake of snapping the thong-like top of Mitsuri’s skirt once and found his head shoved down on the table, his arm pulled back in a self-defense maneuver as the dark-haired beauty threatened to wrench the man’s offending arm from its socket.

Finally, there was Suma, who often clung to the other two like a lost child, but once she gained her confidence, would flirt with absolutely anything and everything that moved, with a sultry giggle and a bat of her pretty eyes. Within only twenty minutes of knowing her, Suma had convinced Y/N to make out with her, the beautiful girl tasting like cotton candy and summertime as their tongues lazily danced together beneath the throb of the club lights.

With her new group of girlfriends, Y/N began to lose herself to the alluring beck and call of Ubayashiki’s local rave scene, her nights quickly becoming defined by sticky drinks and jeweled makeup, and the skimpy outfits Mitsuri always shoved her into. But she could not find it in her heart to care, because for once, her mind was on something else that didn’t involve the smell of pine, or lavender eyes, or the feeling of a home that no longer existed.

But even though the sour drinks made her feel so warm and vibrant while she danced, there were still moments when clarity hit and she missed them.

She missed the way Kyojuro’s strong arm would drape around her shoulders, heavy and warm, and how his embrace always felt like home, his deep laugh infectious.

She missed the way Sanemi would pretend to hug her unwillingly but would leave his hands lingering on her back or her waist once she moved to pull away, a small smirk tugging on the corners of his tantalizing mouth. She missed the smell of his cologne, woodsy and clean, as he would lean in close to her face to tease her until she blushed.

She missed them so much that the sharp sting of alcohol eventually stopped dulling the pulsing ache in the cavity where her heart once beat. No matter how many shots, no matter how many sticky acid drinks she tossed back, that gnawing in her chest would not cease.

Then, one night, Shinobu pressed a small, lilac pill into her hand, and everything changed.

Initially, Y/N was apprehensive, because the pill perfectly matched the hue of the eyes of the person she wanted to forget most. But Shinobu promised her that this pill she’d created in a lab for school – Wisteria – will have her feeling like a kid on Christmas, and that promise, coupled with a flutter of Shinobu’s pretty eyelashes made Y/N cave.

At first, she felt nothing, no impact beyond the slight buzz provided by the round of shots she’d done upon first arriving at the Kizuki. But then, as Mitsuri twirled her beneath the flashing lights of pink and yellow, Y/N’s world exploded with a vibrance she’d neither seen nor felt in nearly two years. Everything, all at once, became magical; effervescent; infinite.

The Wisteria seeped into her veins and made her feel like Christmas lights had been implanted under her skin. Y/N felt shiny and beautiful and sparkly under the combined effect of Shinobu’s magical concoction and the balancing burn of her tequila, and with her new group of girlfriends flanking her side as they bumped to and ground against one another to the beat of the music, Y/N felt almost like she did when it was just her and her boys. Only now, Y/N felt even better, because, with her girls, she could ignore the way the black in her heart was slowly beginning to fester, even if that meant Y/N was beginning to feel more and more numb with each passing rendezvous at the club.

Because that numbness meant that at least she couldn’t feel the acrid bite of her unrequited love for him, and that was what she wanted all along, right?

—————————————————————————

(May)

Of course, Y/N should’ve known she couldn’t stay light and resplendent and numb in her neon and black light paradise forever. Because unfortunately, despite the large student body at Ubaya-U, her new friend group just has to intermingle with them.

Really, it was all Shinobu’s fault. Towards the end of the semester, Shinobu began dating a quiet, withdrawn boy named Giyuu, who happened to be good friends with the man that Hinatsuru, Makio, and Suma all have a thing for – Tengen.

Tengen was a recent graduate of Ubaya-U, and an even more recent hire at the local police department, his imposing size and discerning ears a coveted asset amongst the group of detectives who’d scouted him out. Having someone affiliated with the local police be part of their group ended up being a huge advantage to them, however, given the general inclination for people to look the other way whenever Shinobu began dealing her Wisteria in the secluded corners of the Kizuki’s lounge.

What was not an advantage, however, were Tengen’s friends, because Tengen, apparently, had become best fucking friends with Kyojuro, and by default, him.

Y/N stood awkwardly between Mitsuri and Shinobu as the latter presented her group of girlfriends to the new, rag-tag medley of boys that now included the very two Y/N had gone to great lengths to avoid. She tried to ignore the burning weight of both boys’ stares as Y/N finally introduced herself to Shinobu’s new boy toy. Only when she could not possibly avoid them any longer, not without raising questions, did Y/N finally allow herself to turn to them.

“Y/N!” Kyojuro looked so surprised to see her and yet, so overjoyed that it didn’t feel fair.

Y/N could tell by the jerky way the blonde’s arms twitched towards her that he’d been about to envelop her in one of his signature bear hugs, but he’d hesitated, apparently uncertain whether he was still permitted to do so.

Ultimately, Kyojuro’s elation at seeing her once again won over his doubt, and he pulled her in tightly against his chest, his arms squeezing her with a security she hadn’t realized she’d been missing. For the briefest moment, Y/N’s eyes fluttered shut as she allowed herself to thaw, ever so slightly, in the fierce warmth of her friend’s embrace.

It was a mistake; the moment she’d allowed herself to relax, she’d felt the damning prickle of tears behind her eyelids, and an uncomfortable lump had begun to take form in her throat. So with more reluctance than Y/N wanted to acknowledge she felt, she stepped away from Kyojuro, hoping that the dim lights of the club concealed the mist clouding her eyes.

Unfortunately, the end of Y/N’s reunion with her former, fiery friend meant there were no more obstacles, no more distractions, between her and the white-haired, scar-speckled man who gazed at her with an intensity that, to her annoyance, still made her want to squirm.

And as his eyes bore into her, she chanted over and over in her mind for him not to say it, to not let her name fall from his lips, because she could not bear to hear it. It would’ve been easier, so much easier, if he simply pretended like she didn’t exist, because then she could go on pretending like she wasn’t walking around without a heart; like he hadn’t been carrying it with him even all these months later.

His eyes did not match the smirk he had as he said her name, but it still took everything Y/N had not to fold right there.

But she couldn’t, she wouldn’t let him know that he still held any power over her, and so she merely raised an eyebrow at him and smirked back, challenging him.

“Sanemi.”

—————————————————————————

“’Sanemi’ is your name when I’m mad at you,” Y/N warned him, tapping his knuckles with the spoon she used to stir the cake batter. “Otherwise, you’re just ‘Nemi.’”

Sanemi smirked at her, sticking his finger back into the bowl to swipe another glob of cake batter as Y/N mixed Kyojuro’s birthday cake together. “And what about when I’m being annoying?”

Y/N flicked a bit of batter at him, nailing him perfectly on his nose with the chocolate mixture. “Asshole seems the most appropriate.” She squatted down to pull a baking pan out from below her mother’s stove. “Did you remember to get the candles?”

The grocery bag crinkled as her white-haired best friend shook it, the box of candles within jostling. “Sixty-one candles for the sixty-one-year-old man,” Sanemi said proudly.

“Haha,” Y/N mocked, though she swiped the bag from his hand to check to ensure he’d actually bought sixteen and not, as he claimed, sixty-one candles. “I’m impressed. It seems you are capable of following directions.”

Sanemi leaned across the counter and peered up into her face, that damn smirk of his widening as he saw the faint blush creep across her cheeks. “I always follow your directions, Y/N.” He said lowly, raising a finger to wipe a speck of cake batter from her cheek.

“Hardly,” Y/N scoffed, using the need to get Kyojuro’s cake in the oven as an excuse to turn away from him and hide her warming face. “I think you prefer malicious compliance.”

“You wound me!” Sanemi protested, splaying across her mother’s counter in mock-injury. “When have I ever not followed your instructions with a smile on my face?”

Y/N turned back to him with a teasing grin. “’Nemi, since when do you ever smile?”

—————————————————————————

Shinobu’s eyes flickered back and forth between them, a smile forming on her face even as Mitsuri tugged pleadingly at her hand. “Do you two know each other?”

Sanemi said “yes” at the same time Y/N said “no,” and the former’s head snapped to Y/N’s face, who fought to keep her features neutral and cool. “Not anymore, anyways.” She clarified though she refused to acknowledge the way Sanemi flinched in response.

Shinobu looked between them again, her smile fading to something more pensive. Kyojuro only continued to watch Y/N, his expression sad and so very out of place in this castle of infinite pleasure and fun, and Y/N found herself desperate to escape it – to escape them.

Suma, the gods’ gift to the universe, interrupted the tense moment with her arrival, and she produced a small baggie of those lilac pills that promised Y/N’s escape. Y/N could feel both Kyojuro and Sanemi gawking at her as Suma pulled her in close, the little lilac pill already dissolving on her tongue, and kissed her, as they’d done so many times before.

When the raven-haired girl pulled away with a giggle on her lips, Y/N looked back to her former friends and held her tongue out, Suma’s pill now almost completely dissolved in her mouth, and she winked at them. Let them realize that their Y/N was long-gone, buried alongside the mother whose death they refused to acknowledge.

Suma offered the newcomers a pill each, and Y/N was surprised that both accepted. Kyojuro hesitated more than the ivory-haired man next to him, who held Y/N’s eyes as he placed the little tablet on his own wicked tongue, an answer to her earlier challenge. Y/N grimaced at the idea that Sanemi was willing to play along in this little game, willing to impose upon her paradise if it meant torturing her a little more.

So Y/N tossed her hair over her shoulders and turned her back to him, letting Suma and then Makio, tug her back into the crush of people on the dance floor to twirl and grind to the music, as both boys stared after her and she let herself be lost to them once more.

—————————————————————————

He found her the following Friday, as she waited against the bar for her drink.

“And where have you been hidin’ all this time?” Y/N fought the shiver that threatened to lick up her spine at the sound of that cursed, gravelly voice that had always made her weak at the knees.

But Y/N hadn’t spent the last twenty months learning how to keep off of Sanemi Shinazugawa’s radar for nothing, hadn’t learned to keep her grief and rage and pain locked deep inside the empty cavern of her chest, just to crumble under the intensity of that lilac stare.

Y/N threw her head back to swallow the shot of tequila the bartender had placed in front of her before turning to face him. Sanemi looked every bit the simpering, cocky asshole she’d always known him to be, leaning up against the sticky wood of the bar, one fist resting idly under his cheek as he watched her.

She met his gaze evenly, shoulders loose with a relaxedness that she didn’t feel. “I’ve been right here,” she replied smoothly.

Sanemi shook his head, clicking his tongue disapprovingly at her. “Nah, you haven’t,” he downed his own shot of vodka before returning his eyes to her, looking her over in consideration. “Though, I guess it would’ve been hard to know it was you anyways.”

Y/N bristled at the comment but kept her voice light. “I’m not sure I know what you mean.”

Sanemi watched her carefully for a moment, though his eyebrows furrowed, as though he was struggling to choose his words. “I just wouldn’t have expected to see you in a place like this.” He decided, after a moment, a frown tugging at the corners of his sinful mouth.

It was Y/N’s turn to smirk. “That would assume you knew me at all to begin with,” she challenged, motioning to the bartender for another shot.

Something tightened in Sanemi’s eyes as he held her gaze, and it clenched the knot of unease that had balled in her stomach. “I did, once.”

Y/N kept her face impassive. “Maybe, as a girl.” She accepted her second shot from the bartender and brought it to her lips, biting down on a wince as the sharp burn of the cheap liquid slid down her throat. “But not as a woman.”

Though she did not show it, his words struck a wound deep within her that she’d not realized still festered; because, as hard as she tried to pretend that the man beside her was a mere stranger, his words reminded her of the harsh truth.

She was still in love with him; had been, ever since she’d learned what love meant.

A shadow flashed across his face before disappearing, that insufferable smirk sliding onto his face once more. “I guess you’re right; a girl doesn’t wear a dress like that.” Sanemi purred.

Y/N fluttered her eyelashes at him, a foreign boldness taking over her mind even as the echo of her heart begged her to flee. “Do you like what you see, Sanemi?”

Her former friend’s answering grin was wolfish. “I’ve always liked what I’ve seen of you, Y/N,” he grabbed her last shot from her hand, ignoring the protest in her eyes as he tipped the tequila back easily down his throat. “You just always seem to disappear before I have a chance to properly appreciate you.”

Y/N knew she should run away from him, and fast, but her hand betrayed her as it reached up to brush a bit of confetti from his hair that lingered from earlier. She nearly hummed in satisfaction at the way Sanemi’s breath hitched in his throat as she drew close, her fingers just barely grazing the skin of his forehead.

“Guess you’ll have to catch me.” Was her only response, before Y/N departed for the dance floor and her friends once more.

Sanemi’s eyes remained locked on her the entire night.

————————————————————————

The days blurred into weeks, as Y/N and Sanemi’s new relationship took form.

The convergence of their friend groups was inevitable, though Y/N resented it; but now, they all went out as a unit, rather than as two separate groups which just so happened to run into one another, and it annoyed Y/N to no end.

More annoying was the fact that Sanemi seemed as willing to partake in the sacred ritual of taking Shinobu’s precious Wisteria with them, though he seemed to do it less out of a desire to feel like the flashing strobe lights of the club and more so because he wanted to get on Y/N’s nerves.

“Drugs are bad for your health, y’know,” that damnable gravelly voice snapped her attention away from the Wisteria that sat in Shinobu’s palm.

Sanemi’s shoulder bumped into hers as he came to stand beside her in a darkened corner of the Kizuki’s seating lounge, out of sight from prying eyes as Shinobu dispersed her latest batch of tiny purple pills, a smirk on his lips and a challenge in his eyes.

Y/N scoffed, reaching to take the small offering from her friend’s hand. “And so is that vodka you keep slugging back.” Y/N’s fingers were about to close around the Wisteria when Sanemi plucked it from the dark-haired girl’s hand, a cry of indignation squeaking past Y/N’s lips.

Sanemi held the pill teasingly in front of her mouth as Y/N glowered up at him. “Open up,” he ordered, pinching her key to paradise between his thumb and index finger.

Eyes locked with his, Y/N slowly let her lips part and held out her tongue. Sanemi leaned forward, taking her jaw in his free hand as he placed the small tablet on her tongue with the other.

 “Good girl,” he murmured, eyes lowering to her mouth as he watched her, hungrily.

As she accepted the Wisteria from him, Y/N let her tongue flick out and graze against his skin, dragging it lightly up the calloused edge of his index finger before she closed her mouth, letting the tablet dissolve on her tongue. Sanemi exhaled harshly through his nose, his hand gripping her chin possessively as he stared down at her mouth, and Y/N thought for a moment that he was about to give in right there and kiss her.

At the last moment, Kyojuro clapped him on the shoulder as he returned from the bar, and the spell was broken. Y/N blushed slightly as she turned back to Shinobu who made no secret of her raised eyebrow at the exchange between the two former friends.

Later, as she broke away from her friends dancing on the floor, she’d noticed Sanemi for once, was not looking at her, but at the hand he’d used to slip her the Wisteria, an unreadable heat in his eyes.

————————————————————————-

Sanemi liked to watch her while she danced.

At first, it had been unsettling to feel a pair of eyes boring into her back as she bumped and ground against Mitsuri or Suma, head tossed back as she let Shinobu’s pills work their magic, but she’d grown accustomed to it. Now, she craved the knowledge that he was thoroughly transfixed by her, because that meant at the very least, she was filling his thoughts while they were out almost as much as he filled hers every moment of the day, despite her efforts to numb him out of her life.

She’d confided her secret joy in Mitsuri, who’d conspiratorially promised her they would do anything and everything to drive the lilac-eyed man wild with desperation so that he might feel an ounce of the pining he’d shackled Y/N to feeling every time he so much as looked her way.

One night, a gaggle of them had gathered over in one of the Kizuki’s seated lounge areas as Shinobu pressed her Wisteria into their greedy, waiting palms. Sanemi’s eyes were locked on Y/N, as they usually were, as she’d exchanged a knowing glance with her pink-haired best friend and placed her pill beneath the heavy glass of her discarded drink and ground the violet pill into magic dust.

Eyes on Sanemi, Y/N delicately cupped the powder in one hand and brought her free fingers to the low bodice of her corseted top, tugging lightly on the strings to loosen it, inching it down lower to reveal the tops of the twin swells of her breasts, though stopping before she could be accused of exposing herself in public. She then turned her attention back to Mitsuri, her pink-and-green friend watching her with a sugary deviousness that made her stomach bubble with excitement.

Wordlessly, Y/N leaned back on the table, to the cheers and cat-calls of her friends, and she sprinkled some of the violet dust along the exposed top of her cleavage. Mitsuri leaned over her body, all vanilla perfume and pink hair tickling Y/N’s delicate skin as her friend held one nostril closed and inhaled every speck of the amethyst powder with the other. Y/N’s eyes rolled back into her head, and she let out a wanton moan beneath the black lights of the Kizuki, as her best friend kissed her collarbone in thanks.

Sanemi had gruffly excused himself for the bathroom and did not return for another five minutes. In his absence, Mitsuri had slyly let Y/N know that his eyes hadn’t once left her face throughout the entire vulgar exchange, much to her secret delight.

Y/N knew she was dancing closer and closer to the fire.

She knew that Sanemi wasn’t far from snapping, from losing whatever restraint he thought he had when it came to her, as she deliberately pressed each one of his buttons every time their group ventured out.

The next time he came close to breaking was when he saw another put his hands on her.

A hand gripped her ass, and Y/N turned and saw a man with long white hair and odd-colored eyes give her a wink. He was attractive, that was certain, but there was something predatory in his eyes that made her feel gross, so she moved closer to her circle of friends, keeping an eye over her shoulder.

Eventually, the strange man wandered off, and Y/N felt as though she could relax once more as she swung her hips to the beat thumping over the stereo strongly enough to make the dance floor vibrate. Shinobu held out a hand that Y/N eagerly grabbed, her friend twirling her as she laughed, carefree and alive beneath the resplendent rainbow of lights.

The song slowed to something more sensual, and Y/N was about to take her cue and move toward the bar when a hand grazed her upper arm.

Though it had been nearly two years since she’d last felt his touch, Y/N knew only one person capable of bestowing such a warm and gentle caress, even in spite of his hardened appearance.

Sanemi, to her eternal surprise, had made an appearance on the dance floor – his first if she remembered correctly.

His eyebrow was raised in question at her, and Y/N couldn’t help but appreciate he was asking permission to dance with her, rather than just sidling up and grinding on her like any other man would.

Sanemi looked so god damn handsome in that printed short-sleeve shirt. His sleeves had been cuffed to further show off his considerable biceps, and he’d left the top three buttons open, revealing his scarred but downright divinely toned chest. As he leaned in slightly, waiting for her permission, Y/N caught a whiff of his cologne, and it smelled like home.

Fuck it, she thought, her lips curving up into a siren’s smile as he stepped closer to her, bringing one large hand up to hold her waist as they began rocking to the beat of the music. Their foreheads were nearly touching as their bodies pressed closer and closer together, Y/N’s hips completely flush against his as they danced. Their noses brushed, and Y/N realized how dangerously close their lips had come.

Sanemi brought his other hand up to press against the small of her back, the one on her waist tightening slightly. Y/N looped one arm around his neck, her other hand coming to rest against his chest as they ground, Sanemi setting the pace perfectly in time with the beat.

Through her eyelashes, Y/N could see Sanemi’s amethyst gaze drop to her lips.

She knew she should pull away; she knew if she let him close the distance between their lips, she would also be closing the distance she’d spent so much time carefully crafting between her, and him, and even Kyojuro.

But Y/N also knew she couldn’t pull away, either; she’d waited, for so damn long, to know what his lips would feel like, and she was drunk and a little high, so the inhibitions that would normally have sent her running had long since been overshadowed by her unbounded want for him.

She felt his breath against her lips, and she closed her eyes.

Before she could finally achieve her lifelong dream of kissing Sanemi Shinazugawa, the music changed from the slow, sensual beat that they had been grinding to, to something louder, faster, and more exciting.

A scream grew louder as Mitsuri returned from heaving her guts up in the bathroom, and grabbed Y/N’s wrist, wrenching her from Sanemi’s grip and hauling her deeper into the dance floor to rave alongside her.

By the time Y/N was able to emerge from the surging crush of people dancing and raving, Sanemi was already back at the bar, leaning against it with his beer in hand, watching her.

She’d half expected him to look angry, but he only raised his drink at her, in toast.

The smirk that tugged on the corners of his mouth was full of promise.

—————————————————————————

Y/N supposed it was inevitable that this game of cat-and-mouse they’d been playing would end, and end like this.

She’d known where the night was heading the moment she showed up at the club in Mitsuri’s emerald green dress – the one she’d worn her very first time there in that strobe light palace – and saw his eyes darken from lilac to eggplant. Y/N felt the blazing heat of his stare in her bones even as she danced with her girls, could feel his magnetic pull as he watched her like a predator eyeing its next meal.

The more sober part of her was nervous, knew that she was about to cross a line she couldn’t walk back from. She knew that what was about to happen – giving her first time to Sanemi – would do nothing but exacerbate the poisonous love in her heart, but that part of her was so small, so feeble against the fire she felt in her blood as she approached the bar where he stood.

She pretended not to notice that he watched every move she made as she leaned over the ledge to order another shot. Only after the bartender placed the little glass in front of her, only after she tipped her head back and let the acid liquid slide down her throat, did she turn to meet his punishing gaze.

“You really should try joining in on the fun, Sanemi,” she kept her voice at a normal volume, forcing him to lean in slightly to hear her over the pulsing beat of the club music. She resisted the urge to close her eyes as the familiar whiff of his cologne hit her nose, the smell of a home and of a time before he ripped her heart out and stomped it to dust.

Sanemi smirked, and her stomach dipped at just how beautiful he looked, standing there below the pulsing glow of the lights. “I’m havin’ fun watching from here.” His lips were close enough to her ear that she shivered, gooseflesh erupting over her bare arms.

She wouldn’t let him know how much he still got to her, but she also couldn’t resist teasing him a little further, curious to see how far she could push him until he broke. She lifted her hand to pat the part of his chest he’d left exposed, his skin burning under her touch, as she made to pass him.

Sanemi snapped.

He grabbed her hand before she could pull it away and tugged her closer to him, knocking Y/N’s breath from her as he whirled her around and pressed her up against the dirty club wall to kiss her like she’d never been kissed before. He pinned the hand she’d had on his chest against the wall, over her head, while the other burned its imprint onto her waist. His kiss was demanding and hard, but Y/N was addicted to him. She brought her free hand to his neck, digging her nails in slightly to the sensitive skin to elicit a growl from him as he nipped her bottom lip.

Sanemi released the arm he’d pinned to the greasy club wall to hold the side of her face, tilting her head to he could deepen their kiss, his tongue sliding into her mouth to dance with her own. Y/N couldn’t control her body as she pressed into him, desperate to feel him against her, to feel him fill every empty part of her until she felt whole again. She knew she was dooming herself further, knew she was only setting herself up to fall harder than she already had, but she couldn’t stop because it was Sanemi, and she loved him.

She felt his growing hardness against her thigh, and she couldn’t stop her hips from grinding against him, heat pooling in her belly. Sanemi moaned into her mouth as her hips undulated against his, and Y/N felt herself go molten at the sound. She wanted to make him do it again and again, but Sanemi tore his mouth from hers before she could.

His chest was heaving, and his eyes were wild and dark as he looked at her. His eyes fell on her reddened, kiss-swollen mouth, and even in the dim light of the club, Y/N could see his pupils explode. He grabbed her hand, and suddenly he was tugging her through the crowded dance floor, through the groups of people near the exit, until they were outside, the night air cool on their overheated skin.

Together, they stumbled down dark, empty streets, though Y/N could not find it in herself to feel afraid, because Sanemi was there, and while he may not have cared about her enough to love her, he was still a gentleman who wouldn’t let her be hurt by anyone but him. They walked as she laughed because he kept stopping and pulling on her hand to kiss her again and again, as though he too, could not get enough of her.

Y/N didn’t know where they were going, but eventually, they arrived at an apartment complex, and it dawned on her that he’d brought her to his home. His lips were on hers the whole walk to his door, never breaking even as he fumbled for his keys. Sanemi finally unlocked the door and pushed her inside his dark apartment, kicking the door shut behind him.

Sanemi’s hands shot for her waist as he crushed her against him, his tongue licking the roof of her mouth. Y/N was sweaty and slightly sticky from the club, but the way Sanemi held her to him made her feel so god damn pretty like he’d been set adrift in a starless sea and she was his only lifeline. Sanemi’s hands moved from her waist to cup her ass, kneading her flesh as he moaned into her mouth again. His hands slid lower, grabbing her thighs to lift her up so her legs could wrap around his waist.

“We shouldn’t be doing this,” she murmurs, her head tilted back as Sanemi’s lips laid claim to her neck, his hips pressing her harshly against the entryway wall of his apartment.

The snow-haired man groaned, his hands fondling the soft curve of her ass beneath her dress. “Then tell me to stop,” he whispered, his breath hot as his tongue teasingly traced across her collarbone.

Y/N whimpered as she tightened her legs around his hips, locking him closer to her. If he stopped then, she thought she would fall completely apart.

“Tch, just as I thought,” his teeth nipped harshly against her throat as Sanemi pulled back to look into her eyes. “You can’t.”

Sanemi set her down, but he did not pull away, instead kneeling before her to run his large, warm hands up the length of her calves before bringing them around to the back of her knees. He tapped each leg one at a time, signaling her to lift it slightly. With a jolt, Y/N was completely suspended in the air with both legs over his shoulders, as he buried his face into her cunt.

He did not even bother removing the flimsy, lacy thong she’d worn under her dress, choosing instead to bypass it entirely as his tongue dragged right up her slit. Y/N’s head smacked into the wall behind her as she moaned, and she couldn’t tell whether it was the Wisteria or Sanemi that had her seeing fractals of light behind her eyes. She found that she didn’t much care either way, however, because what Sanemi was doing to her felt fucking incredible.

Her fingers fisted in his hair as Sanemi fucked her with his tongue, his teeth grazing across her clit in time with his thrusts into her. He was groaning lewdly as he feasted upon her, eyes lifting every so often to meet hers, to ensure she was enjoying it as much as he was.

“I knew you’d taste fucking sweet,” he muttered as he broke for air, fingers digging firmly into her ass as he hauled her back onto his mouth. His tongue darted in and out of her folds, lapping up every drop of her essence that he coaxed out of her, before he dove right back into her entrance, forcing her to ride his tongue as she writhed above him. Y/N desperately sought to grab onto anything for purchase, so that she could grind harder against his face, but Sanemi had her pinned in the middle of the wall, rendering her helpless to let him tear her first orgasm from her, followed by another, and then another, never once lifting his mouth off her tender core.

Eventually, Sanemi decided he’d had enough, and he moved to carry her to his bedroom. Just after he tossed her onto his plush mattress, there was a moment before he pounced on her when Y/N could really look at him. The only source of light was from the full moon outside, casting everything in Sanemi’s bedroom in its silvery glow. The moonlight illuminated the soft platinum of his hair, made his lavender irises melt into precious gems of amethyst as he raked his eyes over her panting, blushing form. His gaze darkened at the sight of her dress strap, hanging off her shoulder, before dropping to the hem that has ridden up her legs.

Y/N barely had time to take another breath before he was on her again, almost ripping the fabric from her in his haste to get it off, to expose her.

“This fucking dress,” he growled in her ear, finally tugging the zipper all the way down and shoving it down her legs, chucking the flimsy material behind him.

She was almost bare to him, but he was still clothed, far too clothed. Y/N sat up and ripped his shirt, the buttons popping all over the bed while he smirked down at her. She couldn’t find it in herself to be embarrassed, however, because then his skin was touching hers, and it felt like heaven even if Y/N knew she was only descending deeper into hell.

Sanemi graced her lips with one more bruising kiss before beginning his descent down her body, and Y/N felt electrified under his touch.

His hot mouth first came to her bare breasts. “Fuck,” he whispered as he let his tongue trace the first of her mounds, swirling around her hardened nipple before letting his teeth nip gently at her. Y/N squirmed under his ministrations, the sensation foreign to her and yet somehow, it felt wholly right, that the first person to explore her body this way would be him.

Not that she would tell him, of course; she didn’t want him to hold back, she needed him to fuck her as though there was no tomorrow. If he knew it was her first time, he would slow, or perhaps insist on stopping altogether, given that they were both high, and she couldn’t have that.

Sanemi pressed his hips down against hers, pinning her against the mattress and stilling her movements as he took his time lavishing her breasts, covering her in small marks that he soothes with sweet kisses that were enough to get her utterly drunk on him. Y/N let out a high-pitched whine as she felt Sanemi grind against the mattress as he sucked on her other breast, his abdomen pressing deliciously against her aching cunt still covered by the lace of her thong, as she desperately swiveled her hips, eager for him to relieve her once more.  

Her desperation spurred his movement, as he detached himself from her breast with a low groan, resuming his descent down her body, pausing only to suck and nip at her stomach, before settling between her legs once more. Sanemi’s lips met the band of her thong and he growled, deep and guttural as he pressed his nose against her, inhaling deeply and letting his tongue flick out once more to lap at her wetness over the rough lace obscuring her from view.

Y/N was nearly sobbing from overstimulation, Sanemi having already ensured she’d finished on his tongue three times in the hallway. Now, she needed him to fill her, and quick, or else she thought she would combust.

“Sanemi,” she whined, and his eyes flicked back up to hers, dark with want. “Please, I need you.”

Her words had an instantaneous effect on the heaving man between her legs, because suddenly his body was covering her own, his weight pressing down on her, and his pants were gone, and he was slamming into her with a force that left her screaming and writhing against his soft sheets.

“Shit!” Sanemi snarled in her ear as his cock plunged into her dripping heat, so tight and so unaccustomed to the thick length now bullying in and out of her with abandon. “You’re so – ah – fuckin’ perfect.”

Y/N was sobbing on his mattress, but not from any discomfort. The combination of Sanemi’s body mixing with the Wisteria had utterly blurred out any pain or unease she felt at the intrusion of his rigid length into her core, and instead, Y/N felt herself shatter into a million pieces, only to be fucked back together again by Sanemi, who kept one bruising hand on her hip while the other ensnared itself in her hair as he thrust wildly in and out of her.

But she was not close enough for him. The silver-haired god above her pulled her legs over his forearms and braced his hands on her inner thighs to spread her wide as he pounded into her, leaning down into her face to make her blush, just like he used to do. Only now, instead of teasing her, he was whispering filth that had her turning scarlet and begging for more.

“Fuck, Y/N,” he grunted, his hips snapping in and out of her with a ferocity that left her breathless. "You've no idea –”

The speed with which he drilled into her propelled them up his bed, but Sanemi moved an arm to come between her head and the wrought iron of his bedframe, protecting her.

“You’re a fucking dream,” he snarled, sitting back on his knees as he began to bounce her against his groin, her breasts jolting with every forceful snap of his hips.

“Sanemi,” Y/N moaned, her back arching off his luxurious sheets as her legs tightened around his hips. Under his breath, Sanemi swore.

“Again,” he croaked, the sticky pap pap of his hips slapping against hers filling his room with the sweet music of their dance. “Say it again.”

Y/N could hardly process his demand over the sensual drag of his cock in and out of her needy walls, Sanemi’s movements chasing every breath from her and replacing it with him, as though there were some parts of her that remained untainted by him.

“Again,” Sanemi insisted, his groin pressing against hers as he ground against her, his rough base swirling over her aching clit demandingly, causing her legs to spasm around his hips.

“S-Sanemi!” Y/N howled as he lifted himself from the mattress by his knees, taking her hips with him as he suspended her half in mid-air and pounded relentlessly into her, rendering her incapable of making any other sound that wasn’t a devotional to him.

Through bleary eyes, Y/N looked to see Sanemi’s own gaze fixed on the way her mouth was frozen in a perfect “o” as he pulled moan after sigh from her throat with his hips, his fingers digging into the plush of her ass as he bounced her up and down his aching member again and again. Y/N arched her back even more, allowing him to hit deeper within her and she felt an unfamiliar pressure begin to build in her stomach.

It was similar to what she felt out in Sanemi’s hallway, beneath his tongue, but this time was different. Every push and drag of his cock into her syrupy wetness had her feeling electric like the lights of the Kizuki club were being strung beneath her skin and plugged in, and she was slowly becoming a beacon of light for the man chasing his own release above her. Her eyes rolled back into her head as that coil wound tightly, Sanemi’s name falling from her mouth like a plea as she begged him to let her fall apart in his arms.

Above her, Sanemi fared no better, as his hips began to jerk and press into her without the steady rhythym he’d so carefully built, a cacophony of snarls and moans pouring from his mouth along with the filth he muttered against her skin as he sucked harshly at her neck.

Sanemi readjusted his stance above her, his thighs pressing hers down into the mattress, and Y/N lost control.

“N-Nemi!” Y/N gasped as the unfamiliar coil in her belly suddenly unwound. She was far too overcome by her pleasure to recognize she’d accidentally used her old, affectionate nickname for him as she reached her peak.

But the slip did not go unnoticed by the snow-haired man rutting into her from above, as the moment the nickname fell from her lips in her haze, Sanemi’s own release followed, his seed barreling into her hot and fast as a pleasured cry of her name tore from his throat.

Sanemi’s hips rolled into hers for what felt like hours as he poured every ounce of himself into her greedy, demanding core, Y/N taking every drip of his cum. It felt exquisite, to have the man she’d so desperately loved for so long be reduced to such a mess by her body, and Y/N savored the way his warmth filled her, as though it were possible of bestowing life back upon her even though it was he who’d chased it away to begin with.

He collapsed atop her, finally spent and satisfied, an arm winding around her waist as he sleepily pressed a kiss into the juncture between her neck and shoulder. Sanemi rolled to his back, pulling her with him, and locking her against his chest as though they were lovers. But the combination of the night’s activities with the dwindling effects of the Wisteria had exhausted him, and it was not long before his chest began rising and falling in a steady pattern of sleep.

Y/N giggled quietly to herself, marveling over the fact that her tolerance for Shinobu’s Wisteria was apparently much higher than his. Under the moonlight, she found her dress puddled in a corner of his room and shrugged it back on, gathering her heels in one hand and locating her bag with the other. She turned back and looked at the sleeping face of the man who still held her heart and smiled slightly, before closing his bedroom door gently and taking off into the summer night.

There was a new ache between her legs, no doubt the product of having her virginity taken in such an enthusiastic way by the man she’d left sleeping in his apartment, though he was none the wiser. Y/N felt oddly satisfied, as though she’d achieved some lifelong goal, as the summer air caressed her face. As she stumbled down the night-warmed pavement back to her apartment, Y/N laughed, her chest feeling light and empty for the first time in a long while.

Want more angst? Smut? Pain? Stick around for part two and see shit literally hit the fan.

Likes, reblogs, tags, and comments are always appreciated!!

[romchat]

My Journey to You Ep. 1-2, 24 visuals: Portraits of power and masculinity

I'm doing a rewatch of My Journey to You and I just can't get over how well the show introduces its two male leads, Gong Ziyu and Gong Shangjue. In under two minutes, these two scenes brilliantly establish one of the show's core themes around masculinity and power without a word of dialogue.

Ok, so I gasped when the first glimpse we get of Ziyu's character, the protagonist of a wuxia drama, is a delicate shot of his bare feet. He's a nobleman's son in a sect that is revered by the rest of the martial arts world and yet look at what he's (not) wearing: no military regalia, weapons--just a thin robe and his bare feet.

He's also shown napping, sprawled across his seat like a Victorian woman on a fainting couch. And then when he wakes up, we see him staring longingly out of the brothel's window, his face gently cast in the morning light, like a fairy tale princess locked away in a tower.

Visually, the show immediately communicates to us that Ziyu represents a softer, more romantic image of masculinity, which is reinforced over and over again throughout the show with other feminine-coded symbols (e.g., Ziyu playing music, wearing a red couple bracelet, carrying a bunny lantern). He’s not meant to be seen as a strong son ready to lead his sect but as an overly sensitive playboy wasting his time away.

And then we're introduced to Shangjue.

The music thrums menacingly as Shangjue rides into the Gong residence, his uniformed men carrying spoils of war behind him. As he passes through the main gates, we see each guard bowing in respect. All of this fanfare and the solemn blackness of his riding gear signal the important political role he occupies within the Gong family.

(Side Note: Ryan Cheng's side-eye is magnificent and one of the sexiest things to hit Cdramaland in 2023.)

But what I love most about this scene is the use of high and low-angle shots and central framing. At 6'2’’, Zhang Linghe (the actor playing Ziyu) is a giant, and yet the high angle and surplus negative space around him makes his character look small, almost pitiful in comparison to Shangjue.

In contrast, the zoomed-in, low-angle shot for Shangjue communicates his intimidating persona. There’s something ruthless (even kind of malevolent) about his character, and the show tries to convince us of this first impression with repeated use of shadow and animalistic imagery in its early episodes. He embodies the type of masculinity a powerful sect like the Gongs would want representing them in campaigns with the outside world.

From the jump, Ziyu and Shangjue are set up as antagonists, both by how the characters dismiss one another in the script and also by the show's visual storytelling.

Of course, as the show goes on, both characters gradually change their opinion of one another, and this change is mirrored once again in the visual storytelling. Their final scene in Episode 24 is a near reversal of what we saw in their intro scenes (many thanks to @kingsandbastardz for pointing out the costumes!):

Shangjue's hair is up in a ponytail, neck bare, his rich blue robes nipped in at the waist. He's no longer dressed in his villainous black robes and he doesn't look as physically imposing without his signature cloak. He is finally Ziyu's ally. And check out how the camera angle is also reversed, with Shangjue being shot from a high angle so he looks less dangerous--even fragile--while Ziyu is shot from a low angle to look more powerful.

Despite audience expectations about what type of man would make a strong leader, he has officially grown into the role of Sword Wielder.

[rainbowsky]

GG Esquire Cover Story

A lot of people have written me about the cover story GG did for Esquire magazine. There have been some interesting responses in my inbox, many of which have baffled me a bit, to be honest.

People have asked me for my thoughts on it all, so here they are! 😊

I've been picking away at this for ages, sorry it's coming so far after publication of the article. I have a few things like this in my drafts that are taking me a while to finish writing. I don't have the sustained resources to work on things for very long at a stretch these days.

Disclaimer: Please remember that this is an OPINION piece - my take on the article. I have no special insight, and everyone is free to form their own perspectives and responses. Don't take what I say as fact. It's just one opinion among many.

The photos

I have to start out by talking about the photos, because they truly set the tone for (and perfectly illustrate) the article.

These are not the typical magazine spread photos that a lot of fans are used to seeing. Here GG is practically unstyled. The GG you would see in his downtime. His hair is tousled, his clothing is very casual. His poses are also very casual. He looks like he could be just hanging around his hotel room scrolling through his phone.

These photos are such a gift. They feel so fresh and candid and relaxed. Total Boy Next Door. I absolutely love them.

What a relief to see these photos. Nothing ostentatious or overstyled, nothing aggressively brand-forward (some of what he is wearing is his own personal clothing). Just GG. I nearly fainted. 😅

The article

The original article can be found here, and there is a fan translation here.

My relief in seeing these sweet, casual photos of GG was matched only by my relief in reading the article.

To be honest I'm rarely very excited about the sorts of interviews or stories that accompany these types of magazine covers. They are generally fan servicey puff pieces that cater to a certain type of reader - the kind of people who want to become more invested in an idol fantasy.

They tend to be fairly overtly PR pieces, aimed at positioning the idol in an appealing and often romantic, personable way that makes them more accessible to their fans.

I have often been dismissive of interview statements that other fans have taken to heart, which has caused some friction at times, but what can I say? I think a lot of what's typically covered is awkward, fake and fan servicey. I talk a little bit about that in this post.

I didn't go into reading this article with any particular expectation, except that my expectations were low and I wasn't expecting any surprises. But, much to my surprise, I found a smart, interesting, poetic, uncompromising look at a side of GG that we've rarely seen.

My biggest takeaway from this article was that GG wanted to dampen, rather than fan the flames of, fan fantasies about him; to give people a more realistic sense of who he is and what he's about.

I have rarely been prouder of him than when reading this article. It feels like with this interview he is setting boundaries and putting his honest self forward despite expectations and even demands about who he should be and what he should represent.

Sidebar Rant About Fan Culture

Sometimes I see GG's life as being like an episode of Black Mirror. He is a protagonist who has been strangled by his own fame, in some ways held hostage by people who believe that they made him who he is and put him where he is (despite the role they've frequently played in holding him back).

The situation for stars at his level is pretty crazy. Fans genuinely believe that they know better than their idols what is best for them and their careers, and they will - totally unironically and with a straight face - deliver lists of demands and conditions to their idol and their idol's management team that they expect to be met if the star hopes to maintain their love and support.

These demands can be quite detailed. How they want the management team to be structured, the types of projects they want the artist to take, the types of statements they want their idol to make, etc. It's insane.

And GG's fans have been especially difficult, because they are very deeply invested in old school ideas about fan culture that are no longer viable in the current climate. Pushing traffic, 'comment control' and 'clarification' (aka fan wars), attacking anyone they perceive to be a rival or opportunist or anyone they believe isn't treating GG how they think he should be treated (despite having no access whatsoever to verified information about how he's being treated - i.e. it's all based on their assumptions). Using dirty - even dangerous - tactics to try to harm rival fandoms, regardless of how much that puts GG at risk.

Despite the fact that their behavior has caused problems for him in the past. Despite the fact that he has repeatedly begged them to stop behaving the way they do. Despite the fact that his career has nearly been killed by this type of behavior. Despite the fact that there has been a seismic shift in how fan culture is being treated in China, and despite the policies that have been put in place to curtail some of that behavior. They just don't seem to have gotten the memo.

They have learned absolutely nothing from their past mistakes.

Increasingly, they do not seem to have his deeper interests at heart. At times they appear to be supporting him for their own vanity, clout and sense of accomplishment rather than genuinely loving him for who he is. They seem to take more pride in their ability to bring traffic, out-vote other fandoms and move brand merchandise than in who this sweet, smart man is and what he does.

They actively push some of the most toxic, hateful ideas you can find in fandom. They are some of the key drivers behind the whole 'desperate illiterate' hate campaign against DD, and in so doing put both GG and DD's careers at risk. They are constantly spreading hate and lies about DD and trying to bring scandal upon him. Any time an anti-DD campaign surfaces online, they jump on it and fuel it to the best of their ability.

These are people who have had so many opportunities to grow and change, and emulate GG's kindness and maturity, but have repeatedly failed the assignment.

Being a star can't be easy

I often wonder how GG really feels about his fans. How much of the fan culture mayhem he's fed up with, and how much of it he's taken in stride as part of the job. I know it drives me crazy, but he's obviously got a better perspective on it all and would be a lot more accustomed to it all.

As I said in a previous post, I think we need to treat the idea that he absolutely adores his fans with some degree of skepticism. There's a very real noose around his neck, and that can't feel great. I personally believe he wants to loosen that hold a bit.

With this article GG seems to be saying, "Here I am. Support me or move on, but this is the real me."

He seems to be setting some boundaries and giving fans a glimpse behind the curtain at the real him. He is challenging them to accept him for who he really is, or move on.

I feel like he is taking cautious steps toward loosening some of the stranglehold fans have over his career.

GG is a smart, savvy person. I have no doubt that he is well aware of the assumptions about him. I don't think it was an accident that this interview broke down some of those assumptions.

I love him so much. He continually blows me away with how sharp and tough he is.

Disillusionment and growth

Of course, that's not the entire story of the article. There is some alienation and loneliness here. Frustration and struggle with identity.

One of the most powerful lines in the entire article was when he said that he works for this Xiao Zhan guy as well. When he talks about not knowing anymore which GG is real and which is the persona.

"There are two Xiao Zhans, one of them is here, that’s me. There is another Xiao Zhan, the Xiao Zhan in quotes, but he is probably not me anymore. We are all working for him, including myself."

I admit I was surprised by how fractured he sounded. Not surprised that some of this has happening - that is totally to be expected given his fame - but surprised that he'd talk so openly about it. He's not normally so candid about his personal experience of fame, or about its emotional/psychological impacts on him. In his post-2/27 interviews he brushed off any notion of the emotional burden it was placing on him, for example, even though it would have been understandable had he admitted it.

What stands out to me in all of this is how powerfully he is distancing himself from his idol image and showing a mature, serious, in many ways ordinary person. How boldly he is reminding the audience that there is more to him than meets the eye.

Some might read that as cynical and jaded - the star who is playing the game by performing a role that's separate from himself. I read it as the opposite. I read it as self-actualizing and self-preserving. He doesn't believe his own hype. He is just doing a job, working for this persona, while maintaining his own integrity and independence despite all the pressure to perform and be perfect.

The mountain was such a powerful image. Climbing the mountain as a child and seeing it as this nearly insurmountable ordeal, and then later as an adult feeling like he can take a couple of long strides and be at the top. It is such a metaphor for his career and his success. And that speaks of a certain amount of demystification and disillusionment surrounding his dreams.

It was reminiscent of the line, "Though his dreams have lost some grandeur coming true" from The Circle Game by Joni Mitchell.

Certain jobs, when taken on, become something completely different from what we thought we signed up for.

I have often been asked why I don't open a restaurant. I always jokingly give them this very earnest and serious answer, "Because I like to cook."

If I were to open a restaurant, food would be among the least of my concerns every day. I would have to deal with marketing, I would have to deal with staff and the day-to-day running of the facility, supplies, vendor relationships, finances and management. Food would be very low on the list of things I'd have time to concern myself with.

I feel like the same has happened for GG. He thought he was becoming a singer or an actor, when it turns out he was becoming a celebrity instead. Those are totally different jobs, with totally different demands, activities and limitations.

He enjoys taking on new roles and learning new things and expanding on his skills and working on interesting projects. I doubt very much that he enjoys managing a persona, or navigating fan expectations, or addressing yet another fan-created scandal. I doubt very much he enjoys being held to the standards the top traffic star position puts him under. I doubt he enjoys the restrictions it places on his career or on his personal life.

I doubt he enjoys the limitations on what he is able to show of himself in that job.

Having the kind of job where you have to hang up your personality at the door like an overcoat every day when you walk in - that's a lonely, lonely world to be in. Soul-destroying.

I have long felt that this situation isn't sustainable for GG over the long term. I have wondered what he will do to shift things into a more comfortable, more stable existence for himself. I feel like this article gives me some ideas about that. And it is a relief to read because I get the sense that he is fully aware of that problem, and working to address it for himself so that he can continue doing what he most enjoys - acting and performing.

We have all had these theories - I'm sure most of us have, anyway - that he is trying to shed the idol image, the 'traffic star' image at least to some degree so that he can be accepted as a serious actor with a serious career.

This is a common career path for idols who want to stay in the industry past their idol shelf life. But it's one thing to believe GG might be working on that, and another to feel like I can see him taking brave steps in that direction.

Some surprises, some not

There were some things that surprise me from this interview, and some things that I was not surprised by.

One thing that really stood out to me is how much his real personality shines through. The smart, witty, intense GG we've all seen in The Untamed BTS and in some of his XNINE activities. It was a surprise. I guess I was expecting to see the persona GG - not the real GG. It was so good to see him that I nearly got choked up.

This is the GG that is very no bullshit; blunt and honest. This was the GG who outed DD for using his own meme pictures or for sending him too many selfies. This is the GG who firmly stated he wanted the het scenes deleted. The GG who was very forthright, clever and affectionately prickly with his XNINE brothers.

GG has said in the past that he is not as sweet and sentimental as his fans think he is, that behind the scenes he can actually be ruthless and demanding. This is the GG we've caught glimpses of and that he is talking about in that statement. The real, unvarnished GG.

I didn't dare hope that he would be so candid. He is usually so image-conscious. Not 'fake' by any means, but conscious of how he is coming across and careful not to offend. But in this article he has brought himself unapologetically to the forefront and for that I love and applaud him.

Another surprise for me was when he was talking about how he handles his inner struggles. I was surprised when he said that he doesn't like to talk through his problems. I had always assumed that - as a very authentic, emotionally intelligent, compassionate, personable person - he would be the kind of guy who would reach out to others during times of need.

Instead he said that he doesn't like to talk about his issues. He had such clear and rational explanations for why that even though I can't relate to his approach, I can understand it. This approach can be interpreted as self-contained, self-sufficient and pragmatic. 'If it can be fixed, fix it. If it can't, set it aside. No point talking about it.'

There's something very Zen about letting go of what you can't immediately change, rather than dwelling on it or digging into ruminations about it.

I also found his rationale for avoiding other people's confidences interesting. He 'doesn't want to be a suspect', he 'doesn't want to be burdened by other people's secrets'. I can definitely see how his approach could prevent people from getting caught up in each other's drama, and his mindset reflects healthy boundaries that can help preserve friendships.

I can see GG's characteristic cautious self-protectiveness in this approach. He's smart, strategic and - based on many things he's said in this interview - quite introverted. This approach serves all those aspects of his personality.

There's that old saying, "loose lips sink ships" and that is especially true for someone so much in the public eye. It's good that he has the sense to keep his mouth shut about personal things.

There is wisdom to that approach. It reminds me of the old nursery rhyme about the owl:

A wise old owl sat in an oak, The more he heard, the less he spoke; The less he spoke, the more he heard; Why can't we be more like that wise old bird?

Having said all that, I don't personally share the same view or the same approach in my own life. I am very much someone who likes to talk things through, and who likes to be a listening ear and a support to others as well.

I think there is a lot to be said for the way this type of communication can deepen relationships, help people better understand each other and become more bonded. Sharing burdens, sharing feelings, sharing confidences. It's riskier but the rewards can be significant.

A lot of the biggest problems in the world come from lack of communication or from crossed wires. Talking with others face to face is a great way to clear up confusion and help people stay connected and bonded.

Being the sort of person people can confide in and who talks about things that are on my mind - this really enriches my life. Although I feel like GG has done a great job of making his approach make sense to me, and even seem appealing in ways.

I want to caution people from over-interpreting these statements from him to assuming GG is uncommunicative with DD. As someone who lives with a partner who is exactly like GG when it comes to 'talking about things', I think it's highly likely that GG has a different approach with those few people who are closest to him. There's a pretty big difference between being emotionally and socially open with friends and colleagues, and being emotional and intimate with a partner.

An ordinary boy

The article focuses a lot on his childhood and some of the nostalgia and memories of his past. It's so interesting and illuminating to read about where he came from, and about the parts of that ordinary boy that survived through to adulthood. The geography of the city and the buildings are used as a metaphor for the changes in his life.

He started out in the factory district, in low grey concrete buildings full of vibrancy and activity, passed through a rainy uphill commute and ended up among shining glass skyscrapers. What a journey he has been on, and he's only 31 years old!

The fact that he's been able to maintain his integrity and authenticity and avoid being devoured by the persona - that's such a testament to his character. He really is the whole package. Smart, strong, determined, sweet, compassionate, ruthless, creative, introspective, pragmatic, down-to-earth, cautious. I have always appreciated his breadth as a person. He is very multi-dimensional.

I've talked about that a bit in the past. It's part of why I feel so frustrated sometimes when fans have really shallow, superficial, fan-fictiony takes on his personality. The sweet, soft-hearted aesthete. The tragic beleaguered victim. The playful, cute, dorky romantic. The sexy, saucy, light-hearted, effeminate artist.

None of these takes can even scratch the surface of who he really is. The more I know about him the less I think I know, but I at least know one thing: he's so much more than fans give him credit for.

Florist GG AU

I wasn't remotely surprised to hear that he sometimes thinks of quitting. Even fans sometimes daydream about him quitting. Getting his life back, getting his freedom back. Living a quieter life. Surely there are many times when he is reminded of everything he is sacrificing to do what he does. Times when it feels like too high a price to pay.

But reading this article, I can honestly say that I feel he is up to the task he's taken on. He really does know who he is and what he wants, and he has all of the integrity, emotional and psychological strength to make the most of this career.

My hope that he will start to shed some of the toxic traffic fans and build a stronger, more enduring, more rational fanbase. That he will begin to break free of the shackles of stratospheric popularity and settle into a more stable, satisfying career as a respected actor.

AND SINGER. PLEASE GG! 🥹

It was such a great article, and I feel like I got a glimpse of something new about him that I did not know, which is so rare. I feel like I've been gifted more insight into him, and I have so much gratitude for his willingness to share that with us all.

Regarding candy

A few people wrote me in a big panic over 'what this article meant' for GG and DD's relationship. They had worked themselves up into a state where they felt that if GG and DD were in a relationship, GG wouldn't have said or felt the things he did in the article.

Glass-hearted turtles will need to transform themselves into tortoise-shelled turtles, or they will not survive this fandom. And frankly, those kinds of takes on things sometimes reflect a lack of life experience or realistic understanding of GG and DD as ordinary humans in a relationship.

Some turtles seem to view everything from or about GG and DD as either proof that they're a couple, or proof they are not, with no neutral content and no in betweens. In short, they look at everything GG and DD-related to see what kind of candy it is. And the thing they need to get through their heads is

👉🏻 almost nothing from or about GG or DD will actually be a candy. 👈🏻

Anyone who has ever been in a serious long term relationship knows, there's actually very little about our day-to-day lives that revolves around our partner. My interests and hobbies, most of my social interactions, certainly everything about my work has absolutely nothing to do with my partner. He almost never comes up as a topic or factor in any of it.

And yet we are happily married, and have been for a long time.

As I am frequently saying, GG and DD are individuals first, a couple second. We need to love and respect them in that same order.

This article is about GG and his career. It's an important article about his inner life experience as a celebrity. It has absolutely nothing to do with DD. I find it baffling why anyone would expect it to.

If you are looking for candy, most of the time you will find no candy. If that causes you pain, you are in the wrong fandom. GG and DD aren't here to give us candy. They aren't here to prove anything. Nor should we be. They don't owe us anything. Certainly not 'proof of life' in their relationship.

If you read that article and didn't get that message, then you missed the entire point of the article. GG was saying to everyone, "I'm not just what people think they see, I'm not just what people expect or what they want me to be, underneath I'm a real human being."

Turtles who remember that, and who are able to love GG and DD as individuals, will be longer-lived and happier.

GG and DD's relationship is for and about them. It exists for each other, not for us. I've no doubt they appreciate the love and support turtles give them, but it's not their job to feed us. It's not their job to be trained ponies prancing around for our amusement. They don't owe us anything. Certainly not any candy about their relationship.

More on fan expectations and black-and-white thinking here.

[writersdare]

Never Doubt Me | Luke Hemmings

Pairing: Luke Hemmings x Reader (she/her)

Summary: A date, it would seem, could not get any worse, but then Luke remembered a painful rumour he heard about Y/N.

Warning: argument

Word Count: 1 519

Author’s Note: The name of Luke's friend was chosen randomly. Hopefully you’ll like this little episode. Requests are open and encouraged ♡

The moments when the guys were having a break after months of touring were always precious. Sure, they loved to travel, to sing and perform, to meet fans and interact with them, but it all required a lot of energy, and by the end of the trip everyone was pretty much exhausted.

It was a rather typical process, usually Luke stayed in bed for few days, trying to fight jetlag and get back to his normal time zone. He wasn’t really the one who liked to go out every night; after being away from home for a while, he preferred to stay in as much as he could. Having said that, when he was fully rested, he loved to make little surprises for Y/N and attend an exhibition she wanted to see for a while or even drive to a countryside and ride horses together. He had a romantic soul and he absolutely adored to share such moments with her. They also were really similar with their tastes, so it was never hard to decide where they’d go next.

One evening things didn’t go according to a plan, thought. It supposed to be a very simple one, they wanted to have dinner together at some fancy place. It wasn’t an anniversary, they just figured they didn’t have such classic dates for a while and they missed it.

The food at the restaurant he booked a table in, though, wasn’t really good, and they finished their meal pretty quickly. It’d be exaggeration to say their mood was ruined, but both were slightly upset it didn’t go as they expected. They didn’t ask for a dessert and decided to get ice cream in a local shop and turn their “classic” date into a home one instead. 

Things turned worse, when the rain started, and a car was still not there. Luke silently was holding his black jacket over their heads, while Y/N was cuddling him and glancing at the phone, hoping the taxi would be anytime soon. Both were trying to think that everything was still possible to save, it was just food and just the weather after all. 

Because of the “just the weather” they stack in a traffic and returned home an hour later than they could. Both exhausted and annoyed they hurried up to take off wet shoes and get warm. At that moment Luke stupidly remembered the morning when he had breakfast with a friend Ben, who claimed that he saw Y/N with a guy on a parking lot, kissing. At first Lu was trying to simply shake it off as he trusted Y/N and knew she wouldn’t do that to him. It made more sense, though, when Ben continued reasoning him: he was sure it was her, and, as he said, there was nothing to be surprised of as Luke was gone for so long.

“By the way, Ben told me this morning he saw you kissing some dude the other day on a store’s parking lot,” Luke chuckled, trying to sound as indifferent as he could. It was mostly stupid, he knew that. He didn’t even recall “the news” until that evening, as subconsciously the guy figured it was not important.

Y/N only chuckled back. Honestly, she wasn’t very surprised Ben would make such a rumor, she never liked that guy. She did try to fight with that inner feeling, as she knew Ben was a friend of Luke. Each time they’d meet all together it was getting more impossible, though. 

“Of course, he did,” she smiled sarcastically, as the assumption was dumb, Y/N was loyal. The girl didn’t even think Luke was saying that with all seriousness, she thought it was some kind of joke, so she didn’t pay much attention and continued. “I’m so tired,” she sighed and put a tub of chocolate ice cream on a shelf where they kept the keys and other usual things. “The rain was so unnecessary,” Y/N smirked and glanced at the mirror to see how bad she looked after the street shower. It was a bummer, she spent quite some time doing her hair and makeup, and then it was all ruined.

Luke didn’t like the way Y/N changed the topic immediately, and as the main overthinker in their relationship he frowned a bit, still trying to stay calm.

“Well, I mean, why would Ben say that, right?” he mumbled. He trusted his girl, he knew she was not a cheater, but the musician was gone for a long time, and maybe, just maybe… she felt lonely. “Look, if it was just a kiss, I get it, it’s fine. I mean, we can just talk about it, I’d prefer you to say the truth, though,” Lu said softly, following Y/N to the kitchen and taking off his shirt on the way, as the clothes were slightly wet and it was unpleasant to stay in them any longer. “I understand it probably wasn’t a big deal.”

“Luke, it’s not funny anymore. Ben is a jerk, we both know that,” Y/N reminded him, putting the tub of ice cream in a freezer.

“You’re ignoring my question, though,” Luke smirked, staring at his girlfriend.

“What question?” she outraged, failing to keep it cool. It was rather painful to hear her boyfriend didn’t believe her but a friend who was never even a good one. Y/N understood she could just say it was a lie, but she had no proof and the only way out from that conversation was mutual trust. “You know I would never do it, I love you,” the girl said, looking at Luke and trying to hold sudden tears.

“Look, I’m sorry, I just… heard it and decided to share,” Luke shrugged and came closer to touch the girl’s shoulders, but she pulled away immediately.

“Get off me,” she mumbled. “I honestly can’t believe you even had that doubt,” Y/N shook her head and went to the bathroom. “Also, such a bad timing!”

Luke sighed heavily, being annoyed that Y/N flared up like a match, even though she had her reasons. “Can I join you?” he knocked the door, hearing the water.

“I don’t think so.”

The guy rolled his eyes and groaned shortly, being angry with both himself for rising that topic at first place and with her for not being able to take the news – even the fake ones – calmly.

Luke had to take a shower in a guest bathroom, and when he came back to the kitchen, Y/N was already there, pouring a strawberry jam on a top of ice cream. There were two plates and two cups of tea. They both overreacted, she was right – it was also a bad timing, they supposed to have a date…

“Look, I only said it because I wanted to be honest with you,” he mumbled, coming closer to her.

Y/N sighed and raised her head at him. She knew she could have done better in that situation but the pain took over the sanity.

“Didn’t we talk how it’s important to share everything with each other?” Luke continued, pushing wet curls from his forehead.

“It’s not that,” she spoke up. “It’s the way you said it. You were doubting me,” Y/N touched his hand and he immediately pulled her closer to himself. He hated arguing with her. She hated that, too. Y/N always used to say she tried to be away from any drama in her life. “I get it, you could have a thought, but for a second. And it’s Ben, Luke. You know how much he likes me,” she smirked sarcastically. “I never doubted you. You were touring around the world and meeting many people, but I never had a thought of you with someone else. I was waiting for you. And I don’t need anyone else in my life, but you,” the girl said openly, knowing she needed to tell all of it earlier, so they’d probably skip the unnecessary argument. 

Luke sighed heavily and put a head on top of hers, squeezing the girl in his arms.

“I’m such an idiot,” he mumbled. Y/N was right, it was stupid to doubt her loyalty. It was even offensive. 

“Yes, you are,” the girl mumbled back, but with a short smile on his face. 

“Yes, I am,” Luke giggled and left a kiss on her temple. “Can we forget that and continue our weird date or I ruined it completely?” he smiled and stroked Y/N hair.

“You got some points back,” she joked and smacked his lips with hers, standing on the toes. “I’ve already prepared everything. We only need to get some candles.”

“I hate arguing with you,” he said emotionally, looking at Y/N eyes with his crystal blue.

“Me too. I’m sorry I got mad, I was just mostly sad.”

“I know, I’m sorry, too. I’ll get the candles, they’re in a bedroom.”

Y/N pouted her lips a little, as the guy unwillingly broke the hug to go upstairs. He chuckled and simply took her on his arms, realising he wasn’t ready to leave her again even for a slight second.

– gifs aren’t mine and belong to the rightful owner – saw them here @maggielindemanns –

© writersdare | all rights reserved

All stories are original and written by me. Do not copy, trace and post anywhere without permission and credit. The stories are fictional, they do not correspond to reality and written just for fun ♡

[drowningparty]

Recent WLW/GL Series Guide

Going to start a compendium for all things wlw but until then, so everyone is in the loop, will recommend some recently completed and currently airing shows I think people should check out:

Lulu (2022, Philippines) A really great, feel-good show, low budget and a little ridiculous but I love the main couple so much! Watched this with a friend and we both really appreciated how real they and their relationship felt, you could tell this show was made with love. A young woman decides to get away from it all following a break-up, deleting her social media and taking over her family’s sleepy beachside B&B, only to fall for her one-and-only guest, a mysterious tomboy with a pet cactus. When the pandemic hits, they are forced to spend lockdown alone together. 8 episodes, about 30 minutes.

Sleep With Me (2022, Philippines) Excellent series about two young women navigating dating and disability. Love, love, love that they do not exist in isolation, and that their relationship isn’t their entire world, they have friends and families and a job, and how very clear it is they love each other. Also the disabled wlw rep really got me as a disabled wlw its hard out there this series was so important to me. 6 episodes, about 30 minutes each.

Pearl Next Door (2020, Philippines) Spin-off GL webseries featuring a side character from a more popular BL series, filmed like a video blog as the main character, Pearl, navigates dating during lockdown. Very bubbly, bright, but I just felt like I was eavesdropping on a private video chat and couldn’t get into it myself.

Chasing Sunsets (2020, Philippines) Another low budget GL webseries about women falling in love during lockdown, but darker than the last one, deals with  heavy mental health themes, content warnings are on the tin, meant to be educational as well as entertaining.

BetCin (2021, Philippines) An internet famous couple on the verge of a break-up have to pretend to still be in love to win a #relationshipgoals award with a 10 million pesos reward. Still need to watch this but I’ve heard it’s not very good, too L-Word and behind a paywall. Romcom. 8 episodes.

She Makes My Heart Flutter (2022, Korean) New mini-series which fast became a favourite about the dynamic between an aunt and a niece, both lesbians, who both end up working at the same women-only book cafe/bar, the Dickenson Room. Both are at very different places in their life, with the outgoing young niece a popular university student, easily falling in and out of relationships and open about her sexuality, while the shy, beautiful, but intensely private aunt has long been nursing a crush on the same woman, but is afraid she may be straight / not interested. Both help each other navigate romantic relationships, as well as being closeted to their extended family. 5 episodes, 11-16 minutes each.

Our Relationship Ended Before It Began (2022, Korean) Very cute mini-series, an overworked barista develops a crush on her tomboyish boss, doesn’t know what to do about it. Extremely sweet, but too short!

Girlfriend Project Day 1 (2022, Korean) Fun little mini-series, but too short! They are working on funding a season 2. Episodes only 5-9 minutes long, and only 5 altogether, but worth a watch. Two university students, one outgoing, one shy, have to pretend to be in a relationship for a psychology project,  decide to try dating for real.

Welcome to the Lesbian Bar (2023, Korean) 5 episodes, 6-7 minutes, mini-series follows lesbians in a small bar in South Korea. Loved this one, very sweet, very realistic, wish the episodes were a little longer / we got more but really love what we get, good representation of different relationships and dynamics, and also has two butches/toms! The head bartender is wonderful, helps tie together different, unconnected stories.

Love Tech (2021, Korean) Started strong but lost me by the end. Still, it might be your cup of tea! A short black mirror-esque exploration of a dating service that dictates your life, including when and where and how often you go on dates and when your relationship ends. Two women try to game the system.

Nevertheless (2021, Korean) They aren’t the main characters but there is a very sweet best friends to lovers side plot between two female students at this art college which is so good I don’t think anyone should miss it. If you, like me, have no interest in the main plot, there are also compilations available online of just their scenes which I highly recommend, and gives you a movie-length show all your own. Explores coming out a little too, in a quiet way. It’s an art school.

My Fairy Ghost (2022, Japan) Only 4 episodes but really well done. A young novelist struggling to find inspiration for her next novel meets and falls in love with the ghost of an artist who needs her help. Excellent content, liked and subscribed, beautifully done. Loved this!

Six Survivors (2022, Japan) 6 episodes, 24 mins each. Contemporary scifi romcom with young zombie survivors taking cover in a mall and trying to ride out the worst of the apocalypse. Extremely cute, has some gay + bisexual female characters and a love triangle between three of them. There is a little blood and a few supporting characters become zombies, but very light on the actual horror, mostly a character study. Pretty fun.

Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch from Mercury (2022-2023, Japan) 12 episode first season, second season currently airing, anime, really great series for sci-fi fans even if you know nothing about the franchise (I went in blind and had no trouble), entire first season available on youtube w/ subs, and the dub has just started airing if you prefer dubs. Two girls at a dueling mobile suit school in space become engaged, start a company, and learn about the horrors of war. Not to be missed. (cw: violence, gore, murder, doppelgangers, psychological abuse, childhood trauma, death of family members, child endangerment.)

The Executioner and Her Way of Life (2022, Japan) Another anime that aired last year, 12 episodes, a joy for fans of unhinged, violent women slowly falling in love. The plot is contrived, but good for fans of adventure fantasy. Basically: a magic assassin / priestess is told she has to end the life of an isekai’d girl who can magically control time before she becomes too powerful. It doesn’t help that the girl she’s trying to assassinate falls in love with her, and seems to be impossible to kill, no matter how hard she tries. Contains a nice twist halfway through which made me love their dynamic. (cw: murder, gaslighting, backstabbing, manipulation, bullying.)

The Magical Revolution of the Reincarnated Princess and the Genius Young Lady (2023, Japan) 12 episodes, 20-25 mins each, extremely gay and breezy fantasy comedy drama! A young princess who gave up the throne steals her brother’s fiancee so she can have an assistant for her magical experiments. Very fun, contains magic and a vampire. If you enjoy it, there’s also a light novel / manga.

Yuri Is My Job! (2023, Japan) Recently started airing anime based on the manga, gay schoolgirls work at a themed cafe where they pretend to be gay schoolgirls, everyone is putting on an act and everyone is into someone who is into someone else, a light comedy that purportedly gets more dramatic as it goes.

I’m In Love with the Villainess (2023, Japan) also translated as I Favour the Villainess, currently airing anime adaptation of a yuri manga, kind of unique for having a protagonist who self-identifies as a lesbian and there’s even a fairly frank discussion of sexuality in an early episode. Anyway, it’s got magic and a pseudo-historic setting (it’s in a video game, and, as I have mentioned, there’s magic). Should have 12 episodes, around 20-24 minutes each.

She Loves To Cook, She Loves To Eat (2023-2024, Japan) Slice-of-light, slow-paced, wholesome drama about two working, independent women who live in the same apartment complex and meet by chance. One of them loves cooking, but has no one to cook for. The other loves eating. A slow but believable, tender story about slowly falling in love over a shared love of food, would be good for fans of cooking shows as cooking is a big focus. One is just beginning to realise she’s a lesbian. 10 episodes, about 14-15 mins each. Longer second season airing now!

Chaser Game W (2024, Japan) 8 episodes, each 23-24 mins. Former girlfriends, broke-up years ago, now one of them hates the other, modern office romance, high drama, lot of tension, surprising amount of fluff for how angsty it is, one of them is married with a kid, this is a wild ride start to finish but very enjoyable if you don’t mind the fact the main couple never actually talk no one ever talks there’s no talking just a couple that’s very cute being put into a series of situations.

Stupid Wife (2022, Brazil) A woman wakes up after forgetting the last ten years of her life to find herself married to a woman she remembers hating in college with a child. Serious drama, has some darker moments, but with tender moments mixed in, you get to watch them slowly fall in love again. Completed. 8 episodes, 20-30 mins each.

Legend of Yunze (2021-2022, China) A really excellent wuxia featuring two women who fall in love, magic and demons and swordfights. The spin-off series which followed earlier this year, where they are re-incarnated in the modern day and fall in love there as well, also really delightful, and a translation of the second series is now available on youtube. (If you enjoyed this, definitely check out Legend of Yun Qian as well! It’s one of the best things I’ve ever seen and pure candy.)

Led Astray By Love (2022, China) Isekai where a woman from the modern day gets transported into the manhua she’s reading, falls in love with a politically-ambitious woman she initially believes is mute, who fears she may be a spy. Really funny, tooth-rottingly sweet, with a convuluted plot and bitesize episodes that fly by, I loved every minute of it.

Couple of Mirrors (2021, China) First season completed, but renewed for a second. Historical Chinese drama set in the 1920s about an assassin and a famous author whose lives become entangled following a murder. Mainstream, so heavily censored version of a very gay novel/manga, so keep that in mind, but it’s very clear they’re in love and surprisingly domestic near the end. (Murder mystery / police procedural focus since they’re not legally allowed to kiss, so usual cw apply: violence, murder, child endangerment.)

The Vampires (2022, China) Two young women investigate an old haunted ship and find its full of undead with complicated pasts. Very gay in a heavily censored way, surprisingly brilliant special effects and action scenes, fast-paced and engaging. 40 mins. (cw: fantasy violence, blood.)

Nü Er Hong (2023, China) Complete. Mini-series with very short episodes compiled into one hour long video w/ subs, chaotic good fun for fans of wuxia gl with sci-fi/fantasy elements, they are witch/demon/vampires from space? timeless and in love? I am biased b/c I am personally in love with Wang Laoji and women doing martial arts/being gay, but this is a fun one, if you can follow the slightly confusing plot. If you liked Legend of Yunze, don’t miss this one! (cw: blood, vampirism, misogyny, fantasy violence)

A Flower for Three Lifetimes (2023, China) Completed mini-series, short episodes, 30 mins altogether. A flower becomes a real woman and falls in love with her keeper. Costume drama / xianxia.

Wicked Wealthy Women (2023, China) Mini-series, short episodes. Not for me, the plot was too convoluted and hard to follow, but I know it has a big following! A beautiful young woman marries a rich older man because she plans to murder him, quickly learns the rest of his family wants him dead, too. Rich people drama / murder mystery with a lot of backstabbing. Sequel series recently released, too, for fans! (cw: murder / gun violence, ableism, domestic violence, noncon, car accident, suicide, no happy ending.)

A Practical Guide to Being a Superstars Assistant (2022, China) Completed short mini-series, 13 mins. Contemporary romance between a rich, spoiled idol and her personal assistant, a secret fan.

Yun Zhi Xi / Cloudy Stream (2023, China) Upcoming mini-series, supernatural GL drama set in a school. Contemporary with magic / alternate universes.

Sunflowers / Feng Ling Yu Xiu (2017-2023, China) Donghua, extremely sweet animated series following the adventures of two girls who are very much in love. They are both soulmates and both extremely good at fighting and this became a favourite so fast they are so in love its ridiculous and I think about them constantly. S2 started airing this summer, and is also available on youtube w/ subs  (+ Lunar New Year Special!!!)

Dear Uranus (2021, Taiwan) Short mini-series, about lesbians and gncs at a school in Taiwan, develops into a love triangle, made by and for lesbians. A lot of fun but too short, open-ended finale, holding out they make more episodes.

Handsome Stewardess (2019, Taiwan) Okay, not as ‘new’ as the others, but new to me, and I really fucking loved this series about a tom named Holly who wants to spend her life with her new girlfriend, a martial artist, but money is an issue, so she decides to get a job as a stewardess, even though she has to wear a dress. Dramedy, has some very funny, light-hearted moments and some very sad moments mixed together, but I loved this one a lot and have yet to find anything else that can hold a candle to it. (cw: they go hard on fighting sexual harassment, which includes depicting a lot of sexual harassment, be warned; a main character also becomes seriously injured.)

Secrets of 1979 (2021, Taiwan) Not a series so this is technically cheating but this is an amazing movie by Zero Chou that I need to rave about, it’s so good and I think everyone should see it! Two university students who are very much in love spend the summer with one of the couple’s families, living and working on a banana farm. They also end up helping out a magazine all about freedom of information and expression, something the current military regime rulling Taiwan does not condone. (cw: police brutality, violence.)

Fragrance of the First Flower (2021, Taiwan) This series really was not for me, too serious and slow-paced, but I’m sure others will enjoy this series about a wife and mother in a loveless marriage who reconnects with the girl she had a crush on when she was younger, but they were both too afraid to act on it. Now they’ve grown up she wonders if she can.

Encore Martha (2021, Taiwan) Standalone short, but I think it still merits inclusion, as it’s rare to see older lesbians get a shout, and she still looks amazing in her suit! A senior lesbian tom runs into an old love, and they try to reconnect.

2PM Campus (Thai) Follows some female friends in their 20s at university. 4 episodes, around 18-25 mins each. Includes a wlw romance.

Nothing Happens By Accident (2022, Thai) 3 episodes, 8 mins. Contemporary romance. Hurt/comfort, one has a broken arm, the other nurses her. Very sweet, simple love story.

Always Be You (2022, Thai) 2 episodes, 7-8 mins. Quick and easy ‘long time no see’ contemporary love story.

From 1 Metre to 1 Centimetre (2022, Thai) 4 episodes, 8-9 mins. MC who likes to live alone gets a roommate in her dorm, thinks they won’t get along. Has a rule new roommate stays at least 1 metre away from her at all times. This rule gets broken. Contemporary romance.  

Gap the Series (2022-2023, Thai) Recently completed series with 12 episodes, nearly an hour long each, this one is so much fun, an office romcom with every fanfic trope in the book, starring a bright, outgoing young woman who falls in love with her rich, noble, emotionally repressed boss, who is being pressured into an arranged marriage. Highly recommend catching this, it’s very good, and the perfect balance of drama and comedy! (cw: mild homophobia, death of a wlw supporting character, but happy ending for main characters.)

Don’t Break My Mission (2023, Thai) 4 episodes, 6-8 mins each. Low-budget contemporary romance mini-series. One of them is trying get over the other, but keeps failing. Pretty sweet so far.

You are the Cream in my Coffee (2023, Thai) 7 episodes, 6-10 mins. Short coffee shop contemporary GL mini series, very wholesome!

You are the vitamins in my routine (2023, Thai) 4 episodes, 7-11 mins. Short GL mini-series, contemporary romance, but the couple starts out already together for a change. Sweet, wholesome fluff.

Show Me Love (2023, Thai) First episode released on youtube, the rest are pay to view. 9 episodes in total. Beauty pageant contestants fall in love. Update: rest now coming to youtube, too!

Service Charge (2023, Thai) Short mini-series, 3 episodes 5-6 mins. Contemporary romance b/w a housekeeper and an actress.

My Ideal Ratio (2023, Thai) 2 part mini-series, 6 eps, 5-10 mins. Contemporary GL romance. 170 is set in secondary school, 156 in university.

Lemon vs Melon (2023, Thai) First episode of six just released w/ subs, contemporary miniseries, a mistake leads to two women getting forced to live together, sounds like it will be an opposites attract love story.

Lucky My Love (2023, Thai) 5 ep miniseries (1 hour 20 runtime), office romance for fans of Gap, but a lot lighter/more sweet, with less angst, and less chemistry between the leads, but still a cute love story.

Be Mine (2023-2024, Thai) Upcoming GL, prologue episode out, full series will probably drop early 2024! Story seems to be an anthology, follows several wlw couples and friends in a contemporary setting.

Love in the Rain (2023, Thai) Coming soon, two teasers out! A contemporary love story, will be accompanied by three other unrelated GL shows w/ different actors, made by the same team, mostly following idols / musicians. Will update when I know more.

23.5 (2023, Thai) First episode just released, secondary school students in love. Very cute and wholesome first episode, a loner who just transferred to a new school falls in love with a more popular girl. Real sweet so far.

Blank the Series (2023, Thai) Based on the same series as Gap, follows one of Sam’s older sisters, a painter, who is being pursued by a younger woman, age gap relationship, grandmother doesn’t approve. Haven’t watched it yet and final episode isn’t out so can’t tell you if it ends happily, but people seem to be enjoying it? 6 episodes, averaging 50 mins.

Making Memorable Memories (2023, Thai) follows several different office romances happening at the same time between different women, with different dynamics, some who have past history. At the start felt like it was going to be an anthology but then you start to see how their stories intersect, it’s nice! Low stakes, but good. 12 episodes, around 9 minutes each.

Love Senior (2023, Thai) Currently airing contemporary romance b/w engineering students brought to you by a company that mainly makes BL but seems to be branching out. If this and 23.5 do well, there will likely be more.

Anti-Christmas Club (2023, Thai) Three-part mini-series about wlw who don’t like christmas, all around nine minutes.

Sunshine in the Wind (2024, Thai) Upcoming miniseries with a sweet trailer/pilot that just released recently, and a couple that started as a sidecouple from a bl series. Contemporary florist / actress romance.

Reverse 4 You (2024, Thai) Trailer looks great but will be delayed, re-filmed, as they had to re-cast one of the leads last minute. Very excited for this one’s story, has a Life is Strange energy.

The Last Case (2024, Thai). WE HAVE A TRAILER!!!! WE HAVE A TRAILER!!!! No release date yet, but sounds VERY fun, looks amazing. Dark murder mystery thriller with modern career sapphics in their mid/late twenties.

My Marvellous Dream is You (2024, Thai). New GL from the folks that brought you Gap the Series, but this one looks a bit more art house, a bit more trippy! First episode coming 8th of May, a girl falls in love with someone she meets in a dream. I’ll update when I know more, but projected to be 12 episodes from a big studio so I am guessing full length 45 min + episodes, watch this space!

About Galaxy (2024, Thai). GL series, might be out later this year? Not much news lately.

Love of Secret (2022, Thai) A series about a family where several members are hiding innocent secrets, and things get confusing. One of the teenage daughters of the house is hiding a secret girlfriend, as well as a secret idol career. (cw: not a love story and they don’t get a happy ending, but it’s cute as a family drama, and it’s lovely how supportive her family are of their relationship while it lasts, but be warned going in, they don’t really get a happy ending.)

Stupid Boys, Stupid Love (2021, Thai) Okay, hear me out. This is a BL series set in a school, but they have a background relationship between two women, a tom/butch and a femme, which is so delightful I think it’s worth giving a shot just for them, even if you don’t usually watch BL or just want to skip to their scenes. It’s a very sweet best friends to girlfriends storyline.

Magic of Zero: Zero Photography (2022, Thai) Anthology series, first standalone episode follows the background wlw couple from Bad Buddy.

Wedding Plan: The Series (2024, Thai) BL series w/ a background GL couple who are already together. They’re sweet, but have far less screentime than the main couple so far. Will keep watching to see how it goes, but basically a contemporary work romance where two friends, a gay man and a gay woman, are trying to get married. The lesbian has a long-term girlfriend and the gay man is falling for the wedding planner. Reminds me a little of Two Weddings and a Funeral (2012).

Pluto (2024, Thai) Upcoming GL series, started filming recently, has a teaser. I believe the plot follows a woman falling in love with somone who has just come out of a coma from a car accident, and is now blind. Sounds heavy. I don’t know if it has a happy ending or not. Will get back to you. o7

Omaiseries (2024, Vietnam) Miniseries, two roommates studying at the same university fall in love, one already knows she’s a lesbian the other one’s still figuring it out. Very sweet, wholesome, I was worried by how forward the one roommate was in the ffirst installment but it settled into a very cute, contemporary love story. Very low budget but the two lead actresses do a great job, have good chemistry. Five 10-12 minute ‘marathons’ collected shorter episodes w/ english subs out so far, don’t know how long it will be when finished yet. 

My Other Half (2024, Myanmar) also “The Other Side of My Heart”? Hard to get information for this one, 7 episodes, all around 30 minutes, only just started getting english subs though so waiting for them all to get subbed, will update when I know more and I’ve watched it all!

She (2023, Myanmar) A florist who feels trapped by her relationship with her abusive husband, falls in love with the woman she recently hired. 4 episodes, 10-17 mins each. (cw: domestic violence, sexual assault in first episode.)

Badhaai Do (2022, India) A movie, not a series, but I wanted to include it! Comedy/drama. A gay woman and a gay man decide to enter a lavendar marriage to keep their respective families off their backs, while they date people they’re actually interested in on the side, and eventually decide to raise a family together. Feel good movie, explores unique family dynamics and coming out. (cw: police brutality, blackmail.)

Catch the Light (2019, India) Short 3-episode mini-series about a bisexual woman who is going blind, explores disability, sexuality, and polyamory. (cw: does feature a homophobic parent, so an argument can be made against homophobia by a supportive one.)

Gentleman Jack (2019-2022, UK) Fun while it lasted! Period drama based on the real life of Anne Lister, a womanising, opportunistic, businesswoman from the 1800s who is looking for the perfect woman to set up house with. (cw: casual homophobia, misogyny, classism, and gun violence, typical of the setting.)

Confessions of Frannie Langton (2022, UK) A dark, feminist, period drama based on a novel about a Jamaican maid in 1820s England who falls in love with her master’s wife and is accused of their murder. Heavy and tragic but well done, I do appreciate how unapologetic Frannie is about their relationship, despite the setting. 4 episodes, 45-50 minutes each. (cw: slavery, misogyny, racism, homophobia, abuse, violence, master/servant relationship.)

Hitmen (2020-2021, UK) Sitcom about a pair of middle-aged assassins played by Mel and Sue. Not a romance at all but Sue’s character is gay like her and it’s always nice having older lesbians on television. 2 seasons, 12 episodes. (cw: violence, murder.)

Renegade Nell (2024, UK) historical setting but fantasy themes, butch mc who isn’t super young but is very badass, don’t think too hard about it and it’s a very fun show, she has a female love interest near the end, unclear whether or not it will get renewed but I do recommend this one if you like escapist fantasy shows like Willow, Dickinson, Warrior Nun, Xena, etc. Haven’t seen a lot of people talking about it but very delightful, and the sapphic part was a surprise, I was more happy to see a show about a crossdressing main character in olden times honestly.

Killing Eve (2018-2022, UK/USA) Sandra Oh and Jodie Comer are brilliant, if you just ignore the last series (which was terrible) the first three are a lot of fun and I love the S3 finale. If you somehow managed to miss it, a show about an assassin and the woman obsessed with exposing her, based on a book series with a better ending. (cw: extremely graphic and visceral murders, often played for laughs.)

Willow (2022, USA) New fantasy adventure series, recently completed. 8 episodes, 40-60 mins each. There’s a very good love story between two of the main female characters, a knight and a gender-non-conforming princess, who have been best friends since childhood. Love their chemistry, not to be missed if you like fun, chaotic adventure fantasies, has the feel of a D&D campaign. (cw: typical fantasy violence, blood, a couple of supporting gays are buried in the third episode.)

Haunting of Bly Manor (2020, USA) A popular one, but if you missed it, features a wlw couple who are very sweet, up until they meet their inevitable tragic ending. If you have an issue with ghosts, horror, death scenes, or tragic endings, give this one a miss, but I will say it’s not big on blood or jumpscares if that’s the kind of horror you avoid. I had much more problem with the writing than the ghosts (it’s not great), but the couple are sweet while they last.

I’m Not Okay With This (2020, USA) Short lived coming-of-age Netflix drama cancelled after the first season about a teenage women with a crush on her best female friend who might have supernatural abilities, or might just be going insane. (cw: explores themes of mental illness, depression, anxiety, panic attacks, gore, violence)

One Day at a Time (2017-2020, USA) Sitcom about a Cuban-American family, the eldest daughter realises she’s a lesbian, comes out, and gets a nonbinary partner over the course of the show. 

Arcane (2021, USA) Ongoing, animated series about the main ensembles struggle to survive in a crumbling, dystopian city. I like Vi and Caitlyn, I think their dynamic will get explored a lot more in the second series from what the writers are hinting.

Dragon Age: Absolution (2022, USA) Another animated series on Netflix, not a love story at all but has sapphic main characters in a messy relationship at the centre of their drama and I love to see it. Only 6 episodes.

Dickinson (2019-2022, USA) The first series didn’t win me over but the last two were a lot of fun, not to miss. Escapist, surreal, anachronistic take on the life of Emily Dickinson that lets you forget the dreariness of real life if you let it. Very gay ending. 3 seasons, 30 episodes.

Harley Quinn (2019-2023, USA) Animated series, DC universe, follows Harley Quinn post-leaving the Joker and her best friend Poison Ivy, who she ends up dating, they’re both bisexual, nothing gay happens until the second season but much is made of their friends-to-lovers dynamic from the comics. 3 seasons, 25-30 min episodes, and a standalone valentines day special.

Harlem (2021-2023, USA) Ongoing comedy series following four 30-something black women in NYC who are friends trying to balance relationships with their careers. One’s a lesbian player, and another character learns she’s bisexual (with someone else).

Only Murders in the Building (2021-2023, USA) Ongoing sitcom, not especially gay but you learn one of the main trio is bisexual in the second season when she gets a female love interest. 

Warrior Nun (2020-2022, USA) Still need to watch the much lauded second season, but a supernatural action series with a sapphic endgame a lot of people are enjoying right now I need to catch up on. Sadly, was not renewed.

A League Of Their Own (2022, USA) A fun series that is so extremely gay I needed to lie down after the night club episode. Women during WWII try to become professional baseball players, start careers independent of men, and get taken seriously. A delight to watch, but period-typical homophobia, sexism, and racism peppered throughout.

[ryuichirou]

Replies

More replies~

Some of them are related to our OruVil comic from yesterday, some related to our headcanons, the rest are about various characters and ships :)

Anonymous asked:

I would love to thank you again for the Oruvil content!

It makes me happy seeing art of them even if it's not all romantic.

I REAALLLLLY adore seeing your art of them! 🌟💞

Thank you so much, Anon!! <3 I really appreciate the love they’re getting, they absolutely deserve it.

I would love to draw more stuff with them, both neutral and romantic…

blackbutlerfandomnerddomain asked:

Ortho would also do this to Vil

I low-key see him having an argument with him and suddenly he would repay a video of Vil and him boning and Vil moaning just what he's denying or if like Vil's refusing to admit he was with Rook last night and Ortho just projects a video of Rook and Vil making out

Oh Ortho, you’re way too powerful to have any relationship with – it’s impossible to win an argument with this boy… it also sounds like an episode of Black Mirror lol

I feel like Vil would know better than to lie to Ortho though – not only Ortho always has A VIDEO BECAUSE HE STALKS PEOPLE 24/7 JESUS CHRIST- but Idia was also smart/dumb enough to give him the lie detector thing, so even if Ortho has nothing to show… he still has all the proof needed to see that his lover is lying lol

Anonymous asked:

Thinking about Silver on the receiving end of a condom-user for the first time getting surprisingly disappointed by it lol like he went into it with his partner's preferences on the full front of his mind and agreed with the safety concerns for it, but by the end, he kind of wanted to feel when their pleasure peaked and filled him.. like with his father 🥰

...... the only top I could think of that (properly) used condoms off the top of my head was ortho, so that made a whole different funny image to think about hehehe

(this is related to our condom hc post lol)

Not gonna lie, when I was reading the second part of your ask I thought “oh, Trey I guess?” and then you hit me with Ortho and I screamed. A boy who only uses condoms because he finds them sexy and has no other reason to wear them whatsoever because he is a robot + a boy who should use condoms but got so used to being taken without them that he feels underwhelmed and sexy when it’s used. What a combo indeed. It also reminded me about that one Ortho vignette in which he gave Silver his medical attention…

But also, poor Silver! Of course he wouldn’t like how it feels… thank you for your training, Lilia, way to ruin his life again 😔

Anonymous asked:

I remember the overblot ships asks, how about something else? Phantom Ortho and Overblot Vil?

Sorry for the late reply, Anon! And probably for a disappointing one.

I thought I would come up with something more interesting, but to be honest combining Overblotted boys with each other is a bit difficult to me; it’s much easier to imagine them visually, but coming up with possible interactions is more tricky, especially considering the nature of the whole overblot thing and Ortho’s phantom specifically – his whole being is way too attached to Idia (literally). Maybe I’m overthinking and overcomplicating it though, I tend to do that…

Maybe Phantom Ortho could trigger a relapse in all the previously overblotted boys. And Ortho did seem upset when Vil denied his invitation to join his and his beloved Idia’s new world…

Visually though, it would look pretty good; their designs are two of my absolute favourites :(

Anonymous asked:

Idia and Azul having a double date with Vil and Ortho. Basically disaster...

… Mostly because Azul just keeps talking and talking and talking and talking and it’s painfully obvious that he uses this double date just to make sure the great actor Vil Schoenheit considers him family, because technically he is family, since both him and Vil are dating the Shrouds, which means they have so much in common, which means-

Idia and Vil would be so utterly annoyed. At least Ortho is having fun!

Anonymous asked:

Does anyone else really not like the 'VilRook as Epel's parents' trope?

Some people probably don’t; we personally like it, despite usually hating on this type of trope. We are huge haters of the whole “aww they’re family” thing in general lol

But with Pomefiore it hits different somehow. Maybe it’s because the family thing is not the only thing that they have + their interactions and relationship between all three of them in general are complex and interesting, and the family trope doesn’t simplify any of it (Plus, this won’t stop us from liking Rook/Epel...) I won’t talk too much about it though, since this doesn’t exactly answer your question.

Anonymous asked:

There’s an animated series (it’s Scott Pilgrim but different idk the series) and one clip keeps popping up on my socials involving actor characters where one suggests to the other to “go over the lines in your trailer” and it cuts to the trailer shaking. I just wanted to mention it because it reminds me of Neige/Vil (especially with Vil trying to keep everything under wraps) every time it pops up and it’s your fault <3

Anooon I’m so glad whenever someone’s blaming us for a ship they think about lol <3 You’re very welcome.

I really love that Vil is 100% professional and keeps his personal life as private as possible, but he could also get horny and try to find a compromise, and sometimes a compromise is go to the trailer and “go over the lines” lol I approve of you associating this scene with him and Neige.

Anonymous asked:

New headcanon: Jamil knows how dangerous otters can be since he had to do research on what animals could be harmful to Kalim, so the first few times he heard Floyd call Kalim 'Sea Otter', his reaction was like that one meme of the confused lady doing math.

(this is related to some of the previous replies)

LOL poor Jamil. His life is full of unfortunate and unpleasant surprises, but this? This is simply confusing. The sigh of understanding an relief he would let out when he hears that Floyd’s reasoning is simply “’cause he’s cute”. I guess Jamil gave the merman too much credit in how he picks his nicknames…

Anonymous asked:

What do you think the relationship between Floyd and Chenya would be? I've seen everything from being besties who love to annoy Riddle together to enemies who're fighting over Riddle, so I'm curious about what you think!

You know, Anon, I think there is a reason why we don’t see these two interact: the Universe won’t let them, because we won’t survive this lol Both are so chaotic that you’d never guess how exactly it would go with them. Just like you said, they could annoy Riddle together and get along surprisingly well, but could also act like two boy hamsters in one cage if you know what I mean.

A lot of it depends on Floyd actually. I feel like Che’nya is pretty chill and playful all the time, and if he gets bored he just leaves. But Floyd gets annoyed and fussy… So if he likes the weird partially invisible flying dude, they would become besties. But if he doesn’t, he would be super irritated by him lol

Anonymous asked:

do you think floyd would ever do riddle or epel in his mer form or not because they’re too….small

Oh come on Anon, as if their smallness would stop him~ If he gets a chance and he’s in the mood, he would very gladly hunt down both Goldfishie and little Guppy~

[emmatiedemann]

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

How does the series use dual-focus narrative as a strategic storytelling tool beyond heteronormative romantic pairings?

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend uses dual-focus narrative to highlight rivalry rather than heteronormative romantic pairings. For example, Rebecca and Valencia are pitted against each other because they share a love interest. Their “rivalry” plays out through song even though they eventually become friends. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend’s dual focus narrative deviates from the typical heteronormative “marriage plot” because although the conflict appears to stem from the shared love interest, the real conflict is less about Josh and more about generalized feelings of comparison, inadequacy, and jealousy. This “parallelism” that Stilwell mentions allows for the focus to be placed on the women and their journey from enemies to friends, rather than the typical heteronormative romantic coupling. In fact, the article mentions that “the drive created by a rivalry offers greater scope for expansion in an open-ended narrative like a television series”. This scope has allowed Crazy Ex-Girlfriend to subvert expectations of the genre—a Vox article even mentions that the show is “a complete deconstruction of the marriage plot”.

What are the the "inevitable" couplings within the series and how are they accentuated through "cinematic" similarities and contrasts?

Some of the “inevitable” coupling established in the beginning of the show is Rebecca and Greg. Greg is friends with Josh, the main love interest. This kind of trope–Greg’s interest in Rebecca while she’s preoccupied with someone else–links them as the heterosexual pairing. Their literal similarities appear in the first episode when they learn they have similar difficult pasts and darker senses of humor. Cinematically, Rebecca and Greg are depicted as normal characters which helps create their chemistry, while Josh is almost always depicted in a dramatic, romanticized way to mirror Rebecca's imagination and perception of him. He is often lit with dramatic lighting or appears in slow motion with some sort of fog machine. This cinematic contrast between Greg and Josh, allows for a more obvious coupling between Rebecca and Greg.

How does the series use musical numbers within and beyond the narrative world to replicate fairy tale, backstage, or folk musicals?

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend uses costumes, over-the-top choreography, and showy sets to parody famous fairy tale, backstage, and folk musicals. The show visually references numbers like “Cell Block Tango” from Chicago and “Diamonds are a Girl’s Best Friend” from Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, but uses its own original music instead. These obvious references to famous musicals are established so that the show can subvert and critique the original narrative. For example, when Rebecca is in jail, the song “What’s Your Story” is used as an obvious musical reference to “Cell Block Tango”. The female inmates are costumed with black lingerie over their orange jumpsuits, calling attention to the original number’s unrealistic over sexualization. Rebecca begins singing and demands the same sensationalized stories from “Cell Block Tango” and is disappointed to hear stories that are more complicated, sad, and distressing. By referencing memorable musical numbers like this one, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend is able to call out problematic overgeneralizations and sexist stereotypes with humor and theatricality. 

[annielovestohelp]

the summer i turned pretty (season 1) sentence meme

feel free to change the pronouns and other things to fit your muse!

episode 1

“i would never let a boy beat me at anything.”

“you need to pack cute things!”

“you have to tell me your summer wish.”

“you’ve been in love with him since we were twelve.” 

“you look a lot different than last summer, ___________.”

“what do you need a curfew for? you don’t go anywhere.”

“you’re too judgy.”

“boys at school never look at me.”

“you’ve always been lovely, but, oh my goodness! look at you!”

“i think if you don’t want to be married, you shouldn’t be married.”

“is that the thing where the girls wear white dresses and curtsy?”

“a couple of months ago, you had a cat funeral. you made us all wear black!”

“god, do you memorize everything i’ve ever said?”

“sometimes i wish i was her daughter.”

“you got a boyfriend back home?”

“you’re such a brat!”

“fuck you!”

“can we just have a really great summer like we said we would?”

“i just want to see _____________ in a white dress.”

“you’re not going to get into a car with a guy you just met.”

“your hair’s like a little kid’s, the way it’s always so messy.”

“you know you’re gonna have a black eye tomorrow, right?”

“do you remember anything from last night?”

“i always remember everything when i drink.”

episode 2

“we need to go shopping!”

“are you sure you want to do this? this doesn’t seem very you.”

“i’m going to find my own date.”

“hey _________, aren’t you going to save me?”

“i would love to take you surfing sometime.”

“i just like to kiss and be cozy with people.”

“girls in sundresses are my kryptonite.”

“____________ looked really nice in her new dress.”

“so are you and _______________ like a thing?”

“she’s too busy eye fucking the waiter.”

“didn’t _________ tell you? she has a date!”

“do we need to talk about consent before you go?”

“you...look...hot!”

“hey! stop flirting with my sister!”

“this shit is so boring. can we go somewhere?”

“i don’t want this night to be over.”

“you care where i was, who i was with,”

“why don’t you go look in the mirror some more?”

episode 3

“shall we open gifts?”

“i can’t believe you actually spent money on me!”

“i wasn’t really expecting anything anyway, so...”

“honestly, like, you’re the best dressed girl here.”

“i really want to look good next to you.”

“isn’t ______________ looking like a snack?”

“_____________ is going to lose his mind when he sees you in that bikini!”

“are you guys playing chicken?”

“i just...care.”

“can you just promise me one thing? that we’ll always be best friends?”

“losing your first love...it hurts.”

“i guess it was pretty badass, having a black eye for a day.”

“look at us! we’re hot ass bitches.”

“so how come i’ve never seen you at the pool?”

“she’s always gonna need you, okay?”

“you’re hooking up with my brother?”

“are you saying he couldn’t like someone like me?”

“are you into ___________?”

“we have to hold tight to our friendships.”

episode 4

“you have a much better ass.”

“do you really think he likes me?”

“_____________ has great taste.”

“does anyone want another drink? i want another drink.”

“i know you guys hooked up.”

“i stayed away because she told me to.”

“i’ve always liked you with wet hair. it’s so...romantic.”

“we should get back to the party.”

“i don’t want to be with anybody else. do you?”

“how do you know when it’s the right person?”

“who could ever hate you?”

“____________, you don’t know the effect you have on people.”

episode 5

“___________ left me on read last night.”

“what’s with the good mood?”

“what were you guys doing out there anyway?”

“mind if i have this dance?”

“does ___________ take anything seriously?”

“i’ve had kids, i chafe.”

“who cares? it’s summer!”

“your girl’s a disaster in heels.”

“i can’t help thinking that i wish i was here with ______________.”

“if we started something, i feel like i would fuck it up.”

“you should be with the person you really want to be with.”

“i broke up with ___________.”

“last night, you and i almost kissed.”

“__________, i think about you. i do and you know i do.”

“i’m not waiting for you anymore.”

“you’re my best friend. there were times i want it to be more.”

episode 6

“you’re her prince charming and we all know it.”

“i don’t want to rush you or anything but i would like to eventually talk about what happened the other night.”

“can i take you to the ball?”

“you guys look good together.”

“that trophy is going to be mine.”

“i’m so sorry. i have to win this, okay?”

“about a week ago, we kissed in the pool.”

“that’s why they’re such assholes: none of them are happy.”

“have to admit, i like your friends.”

“i knew they were bitches!”

“isn’t love supposed to be a little scary?”

“you didn’t hurt me. you wasted my time. there’s a difference.”

“i hope you told her to watch her back.”

“if you stopped playing all these games and let her go, it would’ve been a great night,”

“i’ll always come and get you.”

“my heart’s pounding.”

“i just don’t want to lose you.”

episode 7

“are you ready for your big day?”

“he’d do anything for you.”

“please just be honest with me.”

“for what it’s worth, ____________ was the right choice.”

“i’ll be right be your side the whole night.”

“we just kissed a few times.”

“you don’t get a say in who i date. i get to pick and i pick _____________.”

“have you see me hooking up with any guy or girl this summer?”

“i would never do anything to hurt her.”

“it’s not your fault that ____________’s a fuckboy.”

“you’re playing with a lot of hearts, _____________.”

“no one really gets over their first love.”

“i don’t know where ____________ is.”

“i think i love you.”

“you’ve known this whole fucking time and you didn’t tell me?”

“it’s not how i wanted you to find out.”

“there’s so many things i want to say to you.”

“you really need somebody right now and i don’t want to be the kind of person that takes advantage of that.”

“i don’t just need somebody. i need you.”

“i don’t want you to need me. i want you to want me.”

“i do want you.”

[sirsnortsalot]

YOUR TAGS ON THEEEE TOM LOOKING AT GREG ACROSS THE AISLE POST I DSDJKSDJSKJDJKS we shake hands that ep is my entire life for so many reasons i hhhhhhhhhhh. tom's suit being called a gregory. the two of them dressed in black and white when greg says "i do" true to marriage tradition. the fact that when tom sits down in front of greg he literally looks like he's getting on one knee. the way their knees are touching. the way they are sitting so close. the way the two waiters in the background are playfully smacking each other on the ass with towels and both greg and tom look at them wistfully before talking like god i wish that were us. the way greg teases tom a little with the well... keeping him hanging on a little bit. the way greg says "of course". the way their conversation [in that connor asks willa if she really wants this, bc she's kind of giving up her soul wrt money and she says yes i am and i do like the security and wealth but she also likes connor for himself, and connor talks about the age gap!!! and discrepancy in their positions and how they met and came to be and how everyone is always making fun of him/their relationship but she takes him serious and confirms she does want it and then they giggle and laugh it off just like a certain other couple] and body position mirrors connor and willa as well as the cinematography/shots who do actually get married in 4x03 [alone. without the siblings there. almost like a secret ish wedding. hmmm]. the way that nb said 'they wish they were getting married' and the way these mfs act you Know that's actually true and real. the way tom drops the "sporus". the way that after they shake hands, greg's arms twitch out as if to hug tom but then he decides against it bc he's not sure if tom would like that and he doesn't want to ruin this, because everybody else shrinks away from his touch or is disgusted by him but tom opens his arms and greg leaps at the chance, taking tom's shoulders and pulling him in slightly and hugging him tightly, tom literally jostled by the force of the hug.

i Think about the "come with me, sporus" scene a lot.

Oh my god y e s just that one scene felt like peak tomgreg in like 1000 ways 

ESPECIALLY because it’s right after shiv calls tom and tells him about her plan and his IMMEDIATE reaction being “okay, this is my chance to finally hit her where it hurts after her ‘death-by-1000-cuts’-ing me for years, but first i need to make sure greg is safe and on my side” like BEFORE anything else (just checked the script books and greg walks over to him RIGHT after he gets off the phone with shiv, no time to think about anything else) AND THEN ”SPORUS” AND THEN THE MOST ROMANTIC SCENE THAT HAPPENS IN THE (WEDDING) EPISODE AND THEN TOM ‘KILLING’ HIS WIFE I JUST. AUGH THE NERO & SPORUS SHIT MAKES ME GO BATSHIT ISTG HFSKJGHDFKJGHJDFKGHDRKJHY (also while I was in the script books I saw that the hug was unscripted??? It was meant to be just the handshake??? Just like the forehead kiss was unscripted too??? Matthew Mcfadyen is an absolute GODSEND (& nb I guess but yknow) for just ADDING those in UNPROMPTED he’s such a tg truther oml) 

Also can you IMAGINE how greg must've felt at the beginning of the tomshivorce, seeing him and tom going out together to hook up w random models or whatever (i think they were playing it up quite a bit and just wanted to spend time with each other but yknow)  and having the realisation somewhere that “do you wanna come with me, sporus” AND THEN THIS could have been referring to tom wanting to be with greg? Like we know greg knows the story, and we know he knows that tom betrayed shiv and he knows that the tomshivorce is resulting in tom getting a lot closer with him very quickly and he’s not stupid, he can put 2 and 2 together and see himself getting remodelled into the romantic partner for tom that shiv isn’t anymore for him, AND HE DOESN’T SHY AWAY FROM IT! LIKE LOOK AT 4X01, IS THAT THE BODY LANGUAGE AND BEHAVIOURS OF SOMEONE WHO IS AVOIDING THE PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL PRESENCE OF TOM WAMBSGANS FBSKJGHDFJGDFKJY

(i will never shut up about the timeskip <3)

👏 HEART 👏 EYES

[kcuf-ad]

who are your top ten favorite black clover characters and ships (platonic or romantic) - talk about them

Oh boy this is going to be a long one, so Here we go.

The Characters

This is in no order, but these are my favourite. I have only watched up to episode 86.

Finral, this guy is a ride to watch. He is basically the little Brother friend of the Black Bulls and is clearly the only reason why they haven't died yet. His growth as character was a Great one to watch, both in combat as he managed to stall Langris for a bit, creating a New Spell, and even playing the key part of defeating Vetto with Vanessa and Asta. Everyone bullies him and his Rizz is pathetic and I love him.

Charmy is a character that honestly surprised me at how much I liked. I mean she is a gluton, but isn't afraid to share her food. She is easily the kindest of the Black Bulls, but is disrespful and I love her. I Like how her fights are the quickest in the show, with one or three punches and I love her Magic. I love how she wanted to eat Bell all for Yuno. I also think her crush on Yuno is adorable to me.

Luck is so fun to watch. Easily the most fun. His story is quite tragic and the way he was abused and looked down on everyone was sad to watch along. I like his character trait of his constant smile, and when he isn't smiling, you know she is about to get real. Also, his relationship with Magna as besties is so Damn Nice to watch.

Noelle is basically what you want to write with a female character, no joke. Strong? Yes. Important to the story? Yes. Growth both as a character and in power? Yes. Personality? Yes. She is a top tier female character.

Sekke mainly because how much he gets bullied by Jack, Yami and the rest of the cast.

Klaus mainly because he went from "Listen Here Yuno, just because you have a 4 leaf clover and was chosen my Vangence, doesn't mean I Will treat you the same way and you will Listen to me, no matter what." To "Yuno, did you brush your teeth today? Your hair doesn't look as clean as before. Have you eaten anything lately?". Mom friend.

Magna has been a fun character for sure, and the Fact Here has so much growth and trust in his friends. His friendship with Luck is Great, and I think he gets bullied as much as Finral.

Asta is the best New gen Protag and it isn't even close. This man embodies the idea of never giving up. No matter where he is, no matter how much he is down, he Will never give up as his Magic is never giving up. His weakness is his Greatest strength. He isn't special, but that's what makes him special. His fights are so interesting at how he uses his main Weapon and I love his rivalry with Yuno.

Yami is a retired Shonen protag. I mean think about it. He is from a different country, treated as an outsider, he has a rival with a goal in mind, has the Will to get stronger, his mentor becames a leader of a country and he has an unique skill of ki. Not to mention he is disrespect incarnate, disrespecting everyone left and right while he is on the floor.

Yuno is my favourite rival in all of anime. Sasuke is my favourite rival character, but as a rival Yuno is the best at it. He mirrors Asta in every way. He never discourages in Asta, hr has complete trust in his best friend. He looks Like an arrogant prick, but is just some shy, introverted boy who loves competition.

The Ships

For this, I have more platonic than romantic.

Asta x Yuno (platonic) - The best friendship and rivalry in all anime. Grew up as brothers and never gave up on each other and they truly care about each other.

Yami x Julius (platonic) - I Like it because od Yami's loyality to his mentor and friend, the trust between each other and that Julius was the first person to accept him.

Magna x Luck (platonic) - Basically, one who loves prankijg the other and the one that gets prankes, but they truly and deeply care about each other. Also the Fact that Magna was Luck's first friend is cute to me.

Mars x Fana (romantic) - Come on, how can I not? Mars was going to Fana's hot flames, burning up outside and inside, hugging her which was strong enough to break her out of it as they stated at each other for a long time with massive smiles on their faces.

Klaus x Asta/Yuno (platonic) - all because I love the idea of him Being the biggest mom friend to them

Vanessa x Finral (platonic/romantic) - can't really choose. I Like how both of them are so close to each other, and I Like that their main Arcs also feature the other.

Asta x Noelle (romantic) - A good hetero ship that doesn't make the female character the Protag's future baby mama, but instead encourages her to be stronger than ever and go beyond her past and limit? Sign me up!

Yami x Charlotte (romantic) - basically a girlboss feminist that could wreck anyone's shit in love with the closest looking homeless man on the planet. You love to see it.

Yuno x Charmy (romantic) - I just find it extremely cute at how flustered Charmy is around Yuno, how she would fight Bell for Yuno, gives him treats, and that Yuno doesn't think anything badly about Charmy, and how they net was adorable.

[dylan-rodrigues]

Moon in the Day - ep. 6

It's less romantic & angsty and more pathetic that the most Do-ha could do for 1500 years is scare little girls via spooky mirrors

Torturing a servant girl to own the libs (your stepson)

Damn, that's sad as hell. She tells him to not get involved and save himself but when she thinks he actually left... You can see her lose all hope.

You know what, I'm getting the sense that Doha is not a good person. Bro killed his friend (?) and loyal subordinate for a chick... I hope the poor Nameless Lieutenant Guy gets reincarnated into a field marshal or something in *his* 19th life

Wait, that was his own bodyguard?? You do not, under any circumstances, have to hand it to Han Ri-ta but… was there no other option but killing him??

Young-hwa's psychiatrist must be like, "I can pay so many bills bc of this lady."

Why is this monk boy so baby girl. And wow, Do-ha in that black shirt making me feel things 😳😳

Old Monk has a point. Was it ever explained why killing her is the best way to help his soul move on? Am I forgetting or missing something?

Defeating your demons by trying to defeat your eonni with a wooden sword. 2023 is the year of positive eonni representation apparently…. Also, are they... Setting up a love line with manager and eonni?

Is he trying to make sign a NDA when she's drunk?? Not cool, manager man, I thought you were better than this

He was about to strangle her and now he's just watching her drunken antics like a lovesick puppy. Researchers must study this.

This Hyung is really one of the best eldest brothers in drama history, I think??

"I kept telling her to kill me, she kept saying she'd kill me, so I really don't understand why she killed me" bro...

I wonder if Do-ha even realizes her talisman are the same seeds he gave her bc when he does... and when she find out “she” killed him…. All aboard the angst train 🚉

So this is the last we see of lawyer man, huh? Bro is driving to his doom 😭😭… Oh God, this is worse. Seok engineered the main witness' death and essentially turned the lawyer into a double agent in one move. Again, you do not have to hand it to him, but that was kinda clever.

Oh nice of Mr Wife Guy to finally let Young-hwa know the facts when she's in a drunken haze. But at least by the end of the episode, she’s all caught up with the plot, like the audience & Do-ha.

I was just thinking, how did evil stepdad even let the marriage happen?? Oh God what is he plotting??

[chanshoesunite]

24 Days of CHRISMAS: Day 23

Content info: Chan and YN are driving home for Christmas (but via train because climate change) and end up sitting next to each other. It’s a meet cute, basically.

Word count: 1195

Warnings: Author Hare has possibly kitschy taste in Kdramas (I am just sappy, Your Honour)

“Is this seat taken?”

In all honesty, you really don’t want anyone sitting next to you. The train is bursting at the seams, you reserved your seat weeks ago because today, one day before Christmas, it would of course be more than full.

But as you glance up and see the attractive young man smiling down at you, you feel like it absolutely could have been worse. So, you nod. “Sure,” you even say with a little gesture and move your backpack under your seat.

“Thanks,” he breathes, visibly relieved, as he falls into the seat next to you, pushing his own backpack into the gap under the seat in front of him. You try not to stare at him in his red-black chequered flannel and torn black skinny jeans as he wriggles out of his coat and then takes a few deep breaths. He really is well fit.

You try to turn your attention back to your iPad where you are watching a Kdrama on Netflix, and restart the episode. Handsome next to you is on his phone, and you almost forget his presence as the male lead in the drama appears just as the female lead is lost in the woods and helps her find her way back. You jump lightly as your seat neighbour suddenly speaks.

You pull year AirPod out and glance to your right, over at him. “Pardon?”

He smiles at you, a little sheepish. “I said I loved that scene. I’ve also watched that drama.”

A handsome guy dressed like a punk rock star/fuckboy who watches romantic drama? Is this your personal Christmas present or is fate trying to show you once again just how single you are?

You smile back. “It’s actually not my first time watching it. It’s just so good!”

Handsome shakes his head. “Gah, I know. And the male lead. He is SO good looking – why is he so good looking?!” His exasperation seems real, but at the same time you can’t help but wonder if your seat neighbour owns a mirror. And if he’s into women.

The ticket collector comes by to check both of your tickets, and as cute guy puts his wallet away, he pulls out a package of chocolate chip cookies. He offers you the closed box. “Would you like some? I’m Chan, by the way.”

“YN.” You smile at him, and he reciprocates the expression.

“Lovely to meet you, fellow drama fan. I thought maybe you’d need some sustenance when pining for handsome boys.”

You raise an eyebrow at him. “Is that how you do it?” you ask as you tear open the packaging. Mhmmm, triple chocolate, your favourite kind.

“Ouch!” Chan rubs his neck like an anime character. “But… yeah, maybe?” He also takes a cookie and leans back in his seat. “I’m not here for the handsome boys, though. Or girls, that is. I mean I like girls, you know? I just-“ He blushes. “I just like the stories,” he ends meekly before closing his eyes for a moment, obviously cursing himself.

You contemplate for a moment, then offer him your other AirPod. “Do you want to watch with me?”

Chan doesn’t even hesitate but immediately holds out his hand. “I was hoping you’d ask,” he smiles, and accepts the earphone.

You turn the iPad so he won’t have to sit completely crookedly, and dig into the cookies as you watch together, commenting on the plot points and mimicking the funniest lines. You can’t help noticing that you’re leaning into each other, shoulder to shoulder, and this shouldn’t be so comfortable, what with a total stranger sharing your personal space, but it is. You can’t explain it, though, so might as well just enjoy it. With your luck, he’s only minutes away from telling you about his gorgeous girlfriend or whatever.

At the end of the episode, a serious scene comes along, and you can feel tears standing in your eyes, threatening to spill over. You blink a few times, and suddenly, there is a tissue below your eyelashes – Chan is catching your tears before they can roll down your cheeks.

You glance over at him, and he’s smiling softly. “I knew this would happen,” he explains quietly, “I cried, too, when I first watched it.”

“Thanks.” You accept the tissue, and your hands brush, sparks dancing in the space between you. Honestly, who is that guy, your personal Christmas angel?

The episode ends, and you use the opportunity to blow your nose. Chan puts away the empty cookie packaging. “Are you on your way to visit family?” he asks, because while you each know about the other’s Kdrama trope preferences now, you don’t actually have any details on the other’s life.

You nod, your tears mostly dried. “Yeah. I’m there for only a few days before I have to get back to work, but I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

He smiles gently. “You love your family a lot, don’t you?”

A smile lights up your face. “I can’t wait to see my baby niece, she’s already walking!” You shake your head a little, excited at the prospect. “What about you? You’re not just on the train to make random Kdrama acquaintances?”

Chan giggles. “I mean, that’s a perk, but I am also visiting family. I’m there soon, though-“ He glances at his phone. “The next stop is mine.”

“Oh.” You can’t help but hide your disappointment. The next stop is only minutes away.

Chan seems to be fighting with himself, then he turns to you, holding his phone. “Hey, I was thinking – who is going to hand you a tissue during that scene where the male lead stabs his love interest?”

You have a suspicion of where he’s going with that but decide to play along and shiver exaggeratedly. “I don’t know! What a terrible thought!”

Chan’s smile is shy and hopeful. “Would you maybe want to give me your number? We could arrange to take the train back together or something… So you don’t have to watch alone?”

You smile back and wordlessly extend your hand to take his phone. You punch in your number and save it as “Drama Girl”. Chan reads it over your shoulder and nods in approval. Just then, the train conductor announces his stop. It’s weird how you’ve only spent an hour together and still you know you’ll miss him as soon as he’s gone. This really was a special Christmas present of a meeting.

Chan shrugs into his jacket, wrestles his backpack out from underneath the seat and then seems to hesitate before leaning down to you and pressing a tiny kiss to your forehead. “See you soon, Drama Girl,” he says, smiling one last time at you before walking down the aisle, and then he’s out of sight.

Your phone vibrates; it’s a text from an unknown number. You open the message and find a gif from the drama you just watched together, together with a bunch of smiley emojis. You can’t help but smile at the phone like an idiot. Maybe, just maybe, you’ve just found the male lead for the drama of your own life…?

~Day 24~

[where-theres-smoak-2]

Darklina Tether Bond Costuming

(Shadow and Bone Season 2 Spoilers) 

I want to talk a bit about the costuming choices used for darklina’s tether bond scenes because I think they are actually pretty significant. Or more specifically Alina’s because Aleks only ever really wears the two keftas. 

But lets start with the first tether scene in episode 1. This one takes place in the same tent as where he put the stag collar on her, reminding us and darklina of that betrayal. He Aleks is dressed in his black kefta from season 1 and Alina in her blue kefta. What is interesting about this is that it’s the same outfits from the fountain scene in 1x04. 

Not only is Alina’s Kefta the same so to is the way she is wearing her hair. In the tether scene Aleks talks about like calling to like and in the fountain scene Aleks told alina that he did know how she felt, highlighting that they were alike. Also Alina in the tether scene talks about ‘empty promises’ and it was during the fountain scene that Aleks promised that he would be right by her side and that together they would change the world. Another parallel between the two scenes is that in the tether Aleks talks about suffering and sacrifice and Alina asks what he has sacrificed, during the fountain scene the topic of the creation of the fold comes up and as we know the fold was created because of Aleks losing Luda. I really do think that putting Alina in this blue kefta and talking about the promises and about suffering and sacrifice was meant to make you think back to the fountain scene in ep 4. 

Moving on to the next tether scene and this one is really interesting. Its the one from ep 2 and they are back in the war room this time and Alina is in the black and gold Kefta.

Alina talks about being dragged back to the past and I do think they obviously drawing that clear connection to ep 5 when darklina were at their closest, they were acting like a couple of lovesick teenagers pretty much the whole episode and it was when they both believed that they would have a future together and that they were going to change their country and the world for the better. This time their conversation is mostly centred around this idea of it’s supposed to be the two of them, how there is no one else like them. But also on their immortality and the loneliness and loss Aleks has felt over his long life. So its kind of poetic and bittersweet that they are also making that link back to when Aleks had thought he had found his true equal and the person who he would be able to spend eternity with.

It is during this tether scene that we also get the moment when Alina dramatically turns around and takes off her kefta and announcing that she will never wear his colour again, whilst ironically still wearing black underneath. I have seen some jokes about that in the tags and honestly I did have the thought myself that whilst it was a grand gesture on Alina’s part her still wearing black underneath kind of dulled the impact of it. But something about the dress was bugging me because I was sure I had seen it somewhere before. Then it hit me, its the same dress she is wearing in the ‘make me your villain’ scene: 

Again I think this is to call back to that betrayal she feels. She takes off her kefta, rejecting his colours and that connection she has to him in the process, to reveal the betrayal dress underneath, once again reminding them both of how he hurt her, but also highlighting that she is doing just as he asked, making him her villain. But this is also the dress she was wearing when she said they could have had it all, so in a way both outfits call back to them as a romantic pairing and that future they had once dreamt of together. 

There also could be some more significance to her still being dressed in his colour after declaring she wouldn’t wear it again, which ties into the ending of the season and that possibility that they may have Alina mirror young Aleks’ arc in season 3. This could be that foreshadowing that despite her words she will in fact wear his colours once more. Also right after she takes the Kefta off to reveal the black dress underneath Aleks talks about her having an inkling of what’s it like to be hunted and his warning that she has yet to see the shape of things which could be foreshadowing Alina finding herself being hunted in season three and beginning to understand Aleks. 

This next on is another fun one. The wanting makes us weak scene. What I noticed about this one is that although, unlike the ones above, its not an identical replica of a past outfit, it does have a lot of similarities to a past outfit and is very reminiscent of something significant she has worn before. 

I couldn’t get a full body pic but as you can see the outfit she is wearing is incredibly similar to the uniform she was wearing when she first meets Aleks and he tests her and discovers she is the sun summoner. Both have the white shirt with the braces (or suspenders whichever you call them) they also both have green bottoms the difference though is that in the tent scene she is wearing trousers and in the tether scene a skirt. But I do think the outfit was supposed to call to mind the tent outfit. Again though I do think it is very significant that they chose to put her in this outfit for this scene. In the tether scene they are talking again about how there are no others like them, about power and about want. The tent scene is the moment that Aleks realises he has a chance at getting what he wants, an equal, someone who might be able to help him build that new world for the grisha. But Alina also talks about how Aleks was the first one to see her for who she was, to show her she was powerful and meant for something more. This all calls back to the start of their relationship so it makes sense that she dressed in the same clothes as when she first met him and she was shown her power by him. But there is one other detail I want to point out and that is a mannerism of Aleks’ which is where he casually sits back on the table. This caught my eye because we’ve seen Aleks do it twice before, the first time was in that tent scene, when he asks her what are you he casually leans back to sit against the table. The second time we see him do this is when darklina share their first kiss. The posturing they have in this scene is very similar to the scene where they first kiss.

So to me it seemed like they really wanted to draw you to these scenes that showed that connection between them but also showed that want. 

I really do believe that all of these costuming choices were deliberate and where meant to drag you back to the past, as alina put it. 

[practically-an-x-man]

C, E, H, L, P, Z

Ooooh, bonus! Thank you!

Fandom-Related Questions

C: A pairing you wish you shipped, but just can’t.

There's a fair group of X-Men fans that ship Hank McCoy and Alex Summers, especially after First Class, and as much as I want to enjoy it (I like Hank, I like Alex, and I think they're both incredibly bisexual) I just can't make myself see it. I just think their relationship works better as friends, like a brotherly friendship.

(I do ship Alex and Darwin though, that one's a given. Darwin's death still pisses me the fuck off)

E: Have you added anything stupid/cracky/hilarious to your fandom, if so, what?

Not really? I mean, I'm sure there are some cracky/stupid elements to my fics, but I've never really just set out to write a crackfic

H: Do you prefer real-life TV shows or animated TV shows?

In general, live action, but I'm not exclusive to one or the other.

L: Your favorite fanartist/author gives you one request, what do you ask for?

@can-of-pringles does some absolutely stunning paintings, genuinely some of the prettiest work I've seen, I'd probably request something romantic for one of my pairings but I'm not sure exactly what (it kinda depends on what specifically I've been writing recently)

P: Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas).

Uh.... the Be Right Back AU, based on my favorite Black Mirror episode. You take a character with a canon death, and rather than bringing them back to life, you explore the angst of them being "brought back" by only their online presence (or another limited facet of themself) - and the angst of how deeply their death affected their loved ones to even consider it.

Z: What’s a ship that you want to ship publicly, but everyone on tumblr hates it so you keep your mouth shut about it?

I don't really have any? Idk, I guess I'm not super deep into shipping culture, every ship I have just absolutely vanishes from my mind the instant I try to think about it.

[ghostlyhamburger]

Husband Watches Miraculous: NY Special

[does this one have an actual name idk]

OK this is definitely after season 3 because of the box.

Why did they do a Marvel version of the theme? you can't tell me that's not inspired by Marvel.

Okay so they store the powerups inside the thing?

They really tried to go all out with the updated animations didn't they?

Her hair is actually black this time! it looks really good.

Okay that's the first thing that I saw that's super out of character.

Some of these things are textured really well but some are just not. Look you can see texture on her clothes, on the bricks, on the ground, and then BRIGHT GREEN TRASH CAN. It just makes no sense.

This is gonna be a long hour.

Why did they increase Marinette's bust size?

What the fuck was with the way that beard was moving? It's like they didn't want to move the anchor point on the bottom. They anchored it to his shirt is how they modeled it.

Why do they keep changing Marinette's hair color? Why is it darker in the school lighting?

I think I know why this seems so hard to place in the timeline. Its production seems to start at the beginning of season 3 but they definitely got the bible. So they just didn't see all the development Marinette had in getting over her obsession with Adrien over the season.

This whole little bit about Marinette's obsession doesn't need to be here if you've seen the series. Its purpose is only for those who haven't seen the series, which is unneeded because who's gonna watch just for this? It's not a movie. if I skipped the next fifteen seconds nothing would be missed.

When has New York ever been considered romantic? I guess if they watch a lot of American Hallmark movies? But New York is dirtier and dingier than Paris.

They actually made Gabriel look good in this. Like I get how he's supposed to be a silver fox type. He's got a bit too much Justin Bieber face for me, but the hair works for him. I can see how he'd become a celebrity in Paris.

"I'll be keeping an eye on him." If Adrien was a sentimonster under his control, he wouldn't need to keep an eye on him. He could just keep track of him with the miraculous. Like, Mayura was able to track Feast.

Also why is Nathalie in the bed? didn't they fix the peacock? Oh wait she was still super weak and life force isn't easy to regenerate once it's been drained like that.

Oh they've got best girl here.

I think I already see where the entire plot of this special is going. She's gonna be upset at Chat because he's not gonna be there when a sentimonster attacks and she's gonna be upset and debate giving up her miraculous because that's been the theme of the episodes lately and the American heroes are going to somehow be bitches.

[We're only 10 minutes in.]

Gorilla doesn't like planes.

All right so it's not going to work because it's not a sentimonster alert.

How is the eagle going to help you beat Ladybug and Chat?

Marinette, just know when to stop talking, please.

Again, a nice little moment that would be really good.

5 seconds on the plane and she's basically assaulted someone.

Nice use of symmetry and mirroring each other.

Marinette is not having a good day.

Why did they give her such an ass in that shot?

That's actually a pretty good moment.

No. Alya no.

I do like how they call out their weird animation quirks of like. Marinette arms. It's fun.

A convict with a jet engine?

So normal magical and villain type things exist already.

Okay that is just Superman. That's just Superman outfit and Superman theme.

Another thing I don't like is all the infodump. There's a better way they could've introduced Uncanny Valley than Alya's random exposition. She was answering the question of the audience without being prompted to. And it throws me off.

"It's time to show these American heroes how French heroes do it!" NO. NO.

He's not a superhero. That was his entire bit. Also what's he gonna do, endanger everyone by opening up the emergency hatch? You have no superpowers, you have no gadgets, what possibly are you going to do here?

As an introduction, I like this.

It's like they wanted three teachers, one to be nice, one to be crazy, one to be strict, and then they shoved two of them into one character. It doesn't work.

Hot Dog Dan? So he's ... a hot dog vendor?

All right, the dancing is a cute little callback.

Okay I like the new animation style, the very American comic book. but can no one just leave Marinette and Adrien alone? Let them just be awkward together!

Can we get to the catastrophic failure that will lead into the less lovey-dovey shit?

So they're trying to say Lafayette was a holder?

Is that one of the self driving Tsurugi cars?

Wait we've seen the akuma butterflies phase. Why is there no consistency in the rules?

"There's artifacts left by people who unveiled the statue" So there's a miracle box there, right?

Solitude is just Mr. Pigeon!

Doc Ock. Huh. With replication abilities.

Door powers are actually pretty cool.

Now it's finally getting good! Can always count on Hawkmoth to interfere in the right way.

So why is Hawkmoth going after the sabre when the claw thing is very clearly the Miraculous?

Ahh. That's why.

They're still being quite efficient even though they're pissed at each other.

[Aeon is cataclysmed] You have a miracle bomb! It can literally reset people!

That is the smart decision. They don't know each other's identities. Also the American heroes don't have the authority to do that!

I dunno I feel like the reset should have gone through to the other area. When villains have changed in the middle of the episode the reset still works. And when there was the copycat Ladybug she used that one's lucky charm to do a reset bomb. So I call bullshit on that. Also I don't think Paris is still destroyed when we come back to it. So...

"If Uncanny Valley hadn't been a robot I would've caused irreparable harm." Except people have literally died, disintegrated into nothing, converted into energy, and brought back with no issues. So no, it's not irreparable harm. And this is so heavy handed!

The emotional flip flopping here is not great.

[hearing Liiri's ability] That's an incredibly busted ability. Her power is literally limit break.

Why are they having this argument right next to the French students? That just seems stupid.

Let's just steal a bike! oh, safety first

"Adrien I love you" Okay that's just cruel to the people who were watching this.

Yep that's actually what I was expecting.

WHY ARE THERE SO MANY GUNS? Oh right America.

I really like Jess and Aeon's characterization.

Okay I like the skateboard.

This should've just been a movie. It would've been better with time to do all the stuff going on.

Okay that's a neat little trick.

Why does this one hour episode have more musical types than the entirety of the game that came out?

[Ladybug hugs Chat] Okay that was a really cute moment.

Oh is he just gonna launch nukes at everything?

Trading cards, really?

Yeah see Paris is repaired already

"At least let me see what's inside the safe!" It's a miracle box. it's gotta be, right?

I like [Eagle's] outfit.

Was she gonna toss a piano at a pigeon? [Haven't you wanted to do that?] Yeah...

To the sun? To the sun.

Throwing things to the sun is also a Superman reference.

Why do you need more Miraculous? You only need two, and they're not going to help you, you don't have anyone to give them to!

Paris was not like that when they were visiting.

Okay. This should've just been a three part special episode. It tried to shove so much in so little timeframe and over half the thing was just pointless grandstanding about the stupid will they won't they. And I bet that while people loved that Adrien I love you moment, he couldn't fucking hear it and that's the only thing we're gonna get 'cause fuck these producers.

If the pacing was the same throughout, it would've been really good, but it came out of nowhere to the point where they turned up the speed of people speaking to fit it in. A lot of things got super rushed through and I really wanted to see more of it but I know I'm never going to because the producer of Zag sucks!

[luckydragon10]

KinnPorsche Ep08 Lines of Power

Deep breath, everyone! This is probably our last chance to breathe easily before the finale. Enjoy the calming atmosphere while it lasts.

Without further ado, I shall address the lines of power, staging, and framing in Episode 8 of KinnPorsche... actually, I'm gonna take it easy because it was a very chill episode without too much wild, crazy line business.

More LoP posts: [Trailer] ... [Ep04] [Ep05] [Ep06] [Ep07] [Ep09 Part 1] [Ep09 Part 2]

Look, if you didn't already realize in the first 10 minutes that this episode is pure comedy, this shot should seal the deal. A head popping out at a random angle from a doorway is peak comedy, a pure classic staging art.

Porsche, why so cute? 😳

You guys. You guys. This looks like just a normal, cute shot on their date, right? Right?

WRONG. You've been FOOLED.

Look in the background. It's a mirror, another damn mirror!

Kinn is perfectly framed in the mirror, his other self haunting their date in a much more subtle way than Tawan did. This is a clever reminder that even though things seem sweet and fluffy now, they still have Kinn's alter ego and other life to contend with (and integrate?) if they want to be happy in the long run.

I haven't had a chance to review it yet, but I know @daltoneering has published a huuuuge meta about the mirrors in KP, so check that out for more mirror thoughts.

Nope, nothing serious. Head empty, only cute boy with beautiful golden Wat Arun temple to frame his face from the background.

Now, I ask you, what's better than one cute boy with a beautiful temple behind him?

Answer: TWO cute boys with a beautiful temple behind them!

Again, nothing serious here, but I just want to point out that the sweethearts are off center to better incorporate the pretty golden glow of the temple behind them into the shot.

You can also take this as slight foreshadowing of the religious element coming later in the episode.

The lines of power were a bit shy this episode, but for this scene, they came out in full force.

This is reminiscent of the Emperor Korn shot in Ep 05 (for good reason considering they're the same set), but this is so different and so romantic. The sparkles from the waterfall, the glowing lines of the pool, and the lower lines of the ceiling are all pointing to the central couple, giving them the focus and the power.

The lines say this is love, and love wins.

Steal every bit of happiness you can! (I'm not just saying that to Kinn and Porsche, btw.)

Lots of soft, wavey lines of light... I can't help but think that all the soft lines are helping to emphasize how much their relationship has softened.

Yet the shot also shows Porsche clutching at Kinn's face for dear life. I'm not over that, not in the slightest. The boy is holding on with all his might. He's gonna be fierce about it.

...he probably also needs some air.

Q: When is a line of power not a line of power?

A; When you really just need a divider.

I could try to say that the big thick wooden line in the middle symbolizes this or that, or it's about Porsche being sneaky and not just asking Kinn the questions he should ask... but sometimes a line really is just a line.

For this gag to work, the characters have to be divided and unable to see each other.

So? Not a line of power, imo. But the shot is still very nicely framed with dynamic composition.

Pretty, so damn pretty.

Great staging composition of the three cast members -- Porsche low, monk middle, Joe high.

Scenery is fantastic and engaging from foreground to background.

The angle of the sidewalk line on the left helps draw attention to the actors.

On top of it all, Porsche stands out in his black suit against the soft white, cream, and orange color palette.

If you didn't give this shot much thought during the show, take a minute to stare right now. Enjoy an aesthetic moment!

///

More LoP posts: [Trailer] ... [Ep04] [Ep05] [Ep06] [Ep07] [Ep09 Part 1] [Ep09 Part 2]

For LOTS of great meta from all over the Tumblr community and dozens and dozens of contributors, check out the Damn Good KinnPorsche Meta doc.

Also, absolutely shameless plug, but today I posted the prologue for my soulmate AU fic. It's going to be a wild ride and a big multichapter fic, so hop on board early: The King's Tree.