#liliwrites

[liliallowed]

I have more headcanons! These are kinda based on my and other people's past asks.

I don't know what slay the princess is but the platonic obsession from the players side is such a cool concept! I imagine they would be dramatic with it and to piss dust off might just pluck and kill flowey to make him into a flower bouquet for Dust, or almost get killed by him so they could kiss his hand to annoy him, and give him a golden heart necklace as some sort of chain to them. Silly smug bastard Player my beloved <3

About the Frisk comment, I think that when the Players gets a vessel and Frisk is just empty and left behind, the player might just set them up like a doll when they're bored and not fighting. Like how a child plays dollhouse they might sit Frisk down in Toriel's empty house and have a teaparty with the kid while waiting for Dust to find them.

Dust would probably walk in on the morbid scene and see the barley living child and the psycho sitting together. The player themself treating their old body with such tender care but at the same time like just a useless ragdoll.

They to talk so sweetly to the cusp of a child, and yet their voice has the undertone of someone filled with anger and jealousy. It must be disgusting to witness.

Sorry this is so long lol! I have fun sharing my headcanons with you <3 / platonic

it's pretty fun to read these asks! don't be shy to send more!

tw: angst

tw: dark fic

"he hates me, he hates me not."

they mutter as they pick off another golden flower pedal.

more golden pedals dropped to the floor of Asgores garden as the human layed there staring at the cavens ceiling.

"he hates me"

they reached out to the light seeping through the cracks of the rocks. freedom. just outside of their reach. happiness just taunting them outside of that damned barrier.

"he hates me not"

at the empty dusty throne sat a child with an expressionless face. a small flower crown was woven on their head as they stayed still simply existing there like a statue.

"he hates me"

they pulled off the last pedal with a smile.

"of course he does I made it so he can't have any other feeling. he hates me."they giggle. pire joy and happiness in their playful voice despite their grim implications.

"if he hates me he won't leave me to rott here. if he hates me he won't leave me alone like you little frisky bits."

they approached the child smiling sweetly as their voice dripped with venomous malice.

"you did this to me. you denied me of what I DID for you frisk. this is all your fault. this is all chara's fault." they muttered.

the statue like child remained unresponsive and silent.

they started laughing.

"you're just mocking me aren't you? first Chara leaves and now you're like this..."

no response.

"say something... be angry at me... at least" their voice broke.

only silence.

"please... why won't you fight back like you used to?"

they hug the child as small tears start running down their face.

"why won't you do what I want?why are you so obedient... it's like you're not real anymore."

the muttered.

"just like those forgetful fools. no one gets it. FLOWEY CAME CLOSE to getting it be even he backed off in the loop . fucking cowards"

they pulled back, straightening the flower crown. they felt something sharp poking at the back of their neck, as their whole body tensed up.

they stood still not daring to look behind them.

"took you long enough to get here. I got so bored I started playing house with myself." they giggle, their facade if a sadistic persona at full display.

[hollyhomburg]

Computer Update (donation links below)

So as many of you know, my computer crapped out earlier this week and with it my ability to write and keep producing fan fiction, and I’m in need of some money to go about helping replace it (900$) and the costs associated with doing data retrieval on the hard drive of my dead computer to get back nearly 100k words of unpublished material (200$).

I’m not expecting any of you to donate near that much, I have a job and though this will nearly decimate my savings, It’s gonna be okay; weather it’s in a few months that I’m able to replace the computer or in just a few weeks, I’m willing to wait to be able to continue writing. I really only used my last computer for writing anyway so it feels appropriate to ask for help concerning a new one on here.

There really is nothing I consider more fulfilling or that makes me happier than writing for this blog and for you, and it would mean the world to me if you donated any amount so that i can keep writing. 

If 1/10th of you donated one dollar I’d be able to buy a new computer instantly. But that being said please don’t give more than you are able, i don’t want to put anyone under financial distress just because of me. 

Kofi: hollyhomburg

Cashapp: liliwrites

Venmo: lili-writes

(That being said, please be mindful when it comes to seeing my real name on the associated apps below😭 there isn’t a good way to get around it, and id prefer to remain anonymous on here because of instances of doxing I’ve faced in the past, and as a trans person i consider that name my deadname)

i’ll keep you guys updated with how much has been donated as the days go on! thank you so much for your continual support on here! I hope I get to keep writing for you for a long time 🥺💜

- 💜 li

[lililolli]

How I Got Over My Social Anxiety

my journey 💖

https://belleorleslie.wixsite.com/liliwrites/single-post/2017/08/19/How-I-Got-Over-My-Social-Anxiety

[ericboyd]

liliwrites asked you: Love your work! Could you please write a six word poem on asking a friend to be more than that (just a friend)? Namaste

Questioning pleasant pasts for longing futures.

[liliallowed]

The fact that Chara actually calls the player a Demon in the second genocide route makes sense for why the Player's personally made vessel would look like a demon. Cool reference!

I love your short fics!

(About the newest short fic btw)

well, they've been demoted to something beyond even the demon king as far as dust's concerned.

he doesn't believe in angels or demons or whatever nonsense was the deltarune prophecy supposed to be.

but the world demon does simplify a lot of needless explanation. he ironically calls them human with some heavy quotation and emphasis on it that's sarcastic.

kinda like a ridiculing pet name.

"human. something you can pretend to be but will never be able to fully become."

he's mocking them. but still calls the human. just human. not their name, not their identity...

when faced with them it's just "human".

he's not interested in knowing it's name or it's goal. he's done with it's bullshit. he doesn't care.

and well? player's inputted name is AAA because they couldn't be bothered to come up with a name. and he knows that's not their name anyway. so why even ask?

though of he does mean business... or is desperate enough to call for THEIR HELP in some... very small chance...

he'd call them "______".

of course it's just a blank characterless sheet with six empty slots. but to them? that's DIFFERENT. THAT will instantly have them flipping the dynamic or throw whatever sadistic game the have away because they know HE'S ABOUT TO BREAK.

they don't want him to break. so if he actually calls out to them they'll instantly drop everything and do anything ANYTHING to make things better. because they know unless SOMETHING HORRIBLE is happening dust isn't going to put his pride aside to even grace them with a name.

if he calls their name, they'll be there. even if it's so little, even if they don't really care... they can't lose him. they WON'T lose him. no matter what reset they have to pay or whatever hacking there is they'll tear through time to get there.

though... they'll probably go back to their evil ways when things calm down...

what I'm saying is that player only does bad things when they know there's no consequences or that they canBEND the rules.

if things get serious (like dust being erased from existence) their whole playful apathetic nature will get thrown off the window and they'll go head to head with whatever FOOL DATED TO MESS WITH THEIR TOY.

they're extremely protective and caring when they deem events as ACTUALLY harmful...

which is... a bit surprising. even for them.

[liliallowed]

player viewing dust as something to tame or a trial to conquer is both in character, disgusting and thematically delicious... am I a sadist? no!

am I a masochist? no! do I have a morbid curiousity? ABSOLUTELY.

fucking brain getting darker and darker...

I BLAME YOU GUYS FOR ENCOURAGING THIS TOXIC SHIP/J

.

okay I'll be honest...

I've read a few fics where dust is the yandere one and the dynamic is flipped. stalking kidnapping all that jazz.

isn't that just what they would WANT? holy shit that just got darker... as in like, hey you can't catch meeeeeeee... constantly toying with him...

like, you first start reading the fic like, oh just another yandere dust, no he's not a yandere by default this crazy bitch fucking broke him... and you are trapped between two fucking psychos, one CLEARLY more evil than the other trying to fucking stay alive...

the poor vessles man they need a break 😔

...

I'm scared of player...

dust come pick me up I'm scared of my own brain spiraling into dark fantasy... 0-0

[liliallowed]

Imagine if the player got bored or something and used Y/N as a vessel to flirt with Dust.

That would be so out of pocket.

hmmm. well that is a good idea but...

I was thinking something even more interesting.

I won't elaborate since that plotline is for my Thornbound souls fic but yeah I've had this idea before. just... with a plot twist or... two

in the meantime though enjoy this short little fic!

you were in the lion's den and one mistake could cost you your reset.

but you liked to gamble. going all in on a bet made your heart beat fast with excitement.

how good WAS your y/n impression actually? you were fairly confident you could mimick their behavior and personallity...

though... it would be even more natural to have the vessel be in full control... while you simply observed and felt things from their perspective. let them take the lead.

or maybe they would? as long as they made the same choices y/n would've made anyways, there was no distress in the soul and they'd be completely in sync and unrecognizable. but?

one missed heartbeat... a TINY BIT of indecisive behavior and they KNEW he'd pick that up on the MOMENT their soul studders.

they knew he had his senses hyperfixed on this humans pathetic mushy soul.

what did he see in them anyway?...

you sigh feeling a slight throb in you head but it disappeared the moment you open your eyes.

you can't help but notice a familiar hooded figure is watching you, his eyelights observing you silently.

🩶[close your eyes again and pretend to be sleeping so he'll go away. it's just a dream y/n you're still dreaming.]

"stop staring at me."

"... why are you still here... am I still dreaming?"

you close your eyes swiftly as you try to ignore the sound of your definitely NOT real paralysis demon strapping closer... closer...

he's right there you don't dare open your eyes you KNOW his face is only millimeters away from yours cuz you can FEEL his eyelights digging into your soul.

nope. you aren't seeing him. he's fake. you're just tired. he's not real. you just need to MOVE your hand and see if you can touch air.

... your hand... slips through the air. there's actually nothing there?

🩶[check]

you open your right eye squinting... nothing there.

you open the other one to get jumpscared by his face against.

🩶"EEP! "

[eye roll]

[stare into the void. maybe he'll go away???]

you let out a small scared squeak ducking under the comfort of your pillow... then look back.

yep. still there. still VERY MUCH THERE.

/your ears barely pick up the sound of a small chuckle./

/.../

/you're starting to see the appeal actually... this vessel is kinda adorable./

before you can make a choice however,

you find yourself glaring at the skeleton as you step out of bed, walking up to him with a stubborn face.

"why are you here?"

/huh... without input? they're pissed hehehehe./

"just checking up on you" he shrugged.

"don't you have some... demon thingy to catch or something." you mutter half heartedly.

"lost their trace. soooo knowing that freak YOU'RE the most likely person they'll cling onto"

/PFFFFT- *spits out coffee*/

/HOLY FUK... dude... dude I'm not sus. I swear./

"... I think I would KNOW if I'm possessed." you roll your eyes.

"I can tell" his grin sharpens.

"can you stop giving me vague threats!? I'm NOT GONNA... GO ON SOME DUMB... cosmic black hole time warping... WHATEVER THE HELL YOU SAID!" you glare at him.

"it's okay. take your time. either the mask slips or you're right and I'm just paranoid. the more we talk the more I'll get to... test your answers."

"you're fucking crazy."

"I know what I am."

🩶"just leave me alone... last thing I need is you telling me my choices aren't my own. FUCK off."

his sockets squint... as if he's looking for something in your stubborn face...

but... he doesn't find it.

he sighs.

"I'll look around again. DO NOT LEAVE . I WILL FIND YOU."

he warps away.

now was your chance to get out! yet... you feel inclined to stay. you don't want to leave-

stay??? why should you stay? HE KIDNAPPED YOU? why did you hang such a silly though+

*PING

a skeletal hand pulls at your soul TEARING it through the vessel.

"GOTCHA" he chuckled.

💔

GAME OVER.

[liliallowed]

Player x Y/N is so silly goofy to me because the Player will be vaguely nice to Y/N and Y/N would be like "OMGOSH THEY TREAT NICER THEN ANYONE ELSE THEY LIKE ME" and the Player would just think of them like a pathetic pet cat that's to boring to kill so they just manipulate them for the sillies

I love your AUs!

lmao. well they know dust likes y/n.

so they'll OBVIOUSLY get jealous.

but killing them is too boring. they can bargain with y/n life, threaten dust with them or just... keep them in the dark and continue to feed this fake one sided love, all to piss off dust. they'll do anything to get his attention redirected at them instead of y/n.

speaking of pissing off dust, they might even "gift" y/n a few resets of their own just for shits and giggles.

so when dust nearly has a heart attack thinking y/n is dead, they can just smugly bring em back like: sike!

it's generally an extremely fked up situation where y/n is basically player's hostage but doesn't know it.

cuz player is like... so nice. so kind! how could they possibly do those bad things?

and if y/n finds out? meh. just reset them.

dust on the other hand will probably steal y/n away to either keep them safe or just... take a fucking breather and make sure that psycho didn't do anything to them.

and when y/n is scared or calls THEIR name, it just hots him differently. not that he's SAD. he's frustrated that player has this person in their grasp like a marionette.

they seem to do that a LOT actually. a sick and twisted puppet master.

at least from his perspective.

from y/ns pov things are rather simple. skeleton person is dangerous and this person can fend him off and protect them. of course player would lie and tell the story in a way that would villainize dust aaaand conveniently leave out the part where they made him that way.

this is all fanon stuff I made for fun btw. I genuinely don't think dust would open himself up to anyone as long as the player is around cuz he knows he'll only put them in danger or just end up killing them himself.

LV triangle goes in the more fanon territory of my aus! but feel free to ask more!

[liliallowed]

the last laugh

a dusttale pacifist timeline with a twisted protagonist.

-major unreality and 4th walk breaks

-injury

-character death

-psychological mind games

-eventual gore and violence

-angst

-hurt no comfort

-NOT a fix you fic

-NOT a fluff fic

-dead dove do not eat (I'm serious this fic doesn't hold back. read if you like edgy stuff. this isn't fluff.)

chapter 1: old beginnings

you're tired of the monotonous killing sprees. it's time to switch things up a bit.

for whatever reason you've decided to switch play styles.

he wanted to play your role?

two could play that game.

his little stunt had had you feeling a lot of emotions.

guilt, shame pity...

but also...

respect, admiration, interest, and curiosity.

it was an understatement to say you honestly felt... impressed. shocked.

but soon that jumpscare of a fight turned your fear into something different.

you weren't sure WHAT.

perhaps you felt guilty and wanted to undo this? give him the ending he has longed for for so many timelines?

he was a monster of your own making much like Chara.

perhaps you felt responsible for it all and wanted to take back the control you had lost over the script to make amends.

or maybe you couldn't care less and just saw it as another empty challenge to check off on you checklist that kept you from going insane. feeding the never ending apathetic boredom you had cultivated throughout the loop.

regardless of your motives you were pumped and excited to try something new with him.

you had perfected your skills throughout your fights with him to the extent that you could almost do papyrus fight blind in comparison... you muscle memory kicked into high gear as you flawlessly dodged the bullets you had dodged countless times.

it was exhilarating. he was SO DIFFICULT to beat. not because of the damage. in fact the damage he dealt was significantly less than before.

no his fluid movement and complicated bullet patterns was what would screw you over.

and he never NEVER used the same pattern. it was always changing. always keeping up with your pace. predicting your movement, tracking learning improving.

god he was so fun to fight.

it almost felt like you were playing the game on multiplayer.

but... you have had your fill from his shenanigans. you had seen everything he had to offer.

had checked every single corner. exhausted every bit of dialogue you COULD drag out from him...

it was never repeative. always new always flexible and always ALWAYS keeping track of you.

it came to your attention that even if you SPARED monsters... he'd still kill them.

if you tried to save them he'd STILL GO AFTER THEM.

oh.

oh fuck he was ACTUALLY serious.

it wasn't about a simple grudge anymore no he was LOCKING you in genocide on purpose without your input.

and he was aware of it.

he had taken away your CHOICE of mercy without even touching your soul.

it creeped you out.

at first you thought his reasoning was stupid.

if he wanted to save them why did he kill them?

looking at it now though it was almost ingenious... clever and creative.

it reminded you a LOT of what Chara would pull on the end of a soulless pacifist except sans had cranked it to a 100.

he wasn't trying to save them.

no he was just straight up trying to trap you in an inescapable purgatory until YOU decided to leave it.

he never meant to SAVE them he only meant to STOP YOU.

he had taken control over the FUCKING SCRIPT.

you could no longer decide fate. no.

the world had fallen from your grasp.

despite controlling time you could not change fate.

and it BOTHERED you.

oh so he thought he could snatch this world from you the way Chara would ask for your soul every genocide run?

all it took was some few file recycling to fool that idiot to think you were here for the first time.

you could find loop holes inside loops. and he had issued a personal challenge to beat HIM at HIS game.

which also begged the question. how the FUCK did sans know if not even flowey and Chara could recall it? was he hanging out in your recycle bin or something?

you were pretty sure that was not how it worked.

there was literally no trace of your genocide...

you had a sneaking suspicion gaster was involved somehow.

because why not.

either way you couldn't just murder your way into a happy ending...

not unless you could alert the other monsters.

something sans failed to do because his argument felt so unrealistic and-

"sans? psht that guy can't even hurt a fly"

oh.

you were starting to feel a headache already.

god fucking dammit.

why did you do this to yourself. why do you decide to do hitless runs and try sans simulators every Monday... why do you speed run the path of pain in hollow knight.

why do you walk naked in elden ring and get absolutely destroyed...

what the FUCK is actually wrong with you...

god what had you gotten yourself into...

you have this thought process every single time. it seems to be a repeating pattern.

but you're too stubborn to give up.

I mean granted it didn't make sense why Chara would be trying to antagonize sans when they were literally after the same thing... except they had been silent for xxx resets... going back to slumber.

attempt 1:

you woke up and practically rolled over your way out of the flower bed with great agility jumping on your feet.

time to put all that speedrunning to use.

you sped your way across the ruin halls doing skips and wall runs, not even BOTHERING to solve the puzzles as you skillfully hopped over the spikes.

flowey caught on that something was different about you this round. he had popped right Infront of you to ask but you juked him, not even bothering to explain your plan.

it was simple. convince goat mom a frikin serail killer was about to kill her and he might have been the person she had been speaking to behind the door...

monsters encountered you but you flicked your soul skillfully to flee, your movement almost as precise as a Tas each time an encounter was made

you couldn't flee blooky but thanks to the broken script you managed to weasel your way out of the battle box FORCING your way out of battle.

the ghost stared at you with visible confusion and shock as if it has seen you defy the laws of gravity or something... which wasn't strange with magic... but with cheesing the battle box? yeah you must've looked like you were glitching through a wall or something.

you ran straight ahead to steal/borrow a bunch of spider donuts... you meant all you could get your hands on.

you ran into toriel next but didn't even STOP and ran full speed ahead towards the save point near the tree.

you were panting. your body was so tired... it's muscles were sore from being pushed to this extent.

you were sure it was in pain.

not that you could feel it of course.

you saved your time in the save point.

it glowed a brilliant gold, almost five times brighter than it usually was.

*you are filled with determination.

damn right you were.

your body collapsed to the ground, not even able to take another step...

flowey used this chance to approach you.

"another speed run?"

he asked with a scoff.

you shook your head.

"I've... I've got a new idea... you know how sans pulled a YOU on me? I say we pull a HIM... on him hahaha... "

you panted leaning back against the tree.

Flowey's eyes widened in surprise.

"wanna help me try something new old friend?"

you smile.

flowey was overjoyed at first by your offer.

but hesitated.

"what is your plan? "

he asked tilting his head. he didn't trust you.

but you had gained his interest.

"well I know I can't convince people that that lazy couch potato suddenly went psycho without giving myself away... "

you hummed examining a tree branch that had fallen down.

"do we're going to make it look like a coincidence that I know and INDIRECTLY drive everyone away and lead them to the throne room."

a big smile appeared on Flowey's face that made you wonder how he wasn't split in half.

"now THAT sounds interesting."

he laughed as he patted your back with amusement using a vine.

"but we'll have one shot at pulling this off. once he knows my plan it'll be useless."

you warned.

"so I'm currently making preparations and sizing up the chess board. measuring the time it takes to run from checkpoint to checkpoint."

you finished trying the ribbons you found with the stick, making a makeshift spear.

he would usually throw your weapons into the lava pit to sabotage your progress so you had to get creative.

flowey nodded with a small mischievous giggle. "oh this is going to be SO FUN! specially after your whole... eat sleep kill, repeative habits..."

"hey I wanted to try increas-"

"yes  yes I know how obsessed you are with skill, precision and speed... but now you're satisfied and want to move to something different. just like old times ey?"

"yep."

"so _____, where do I come in all this?"

"meh  I'm just poking around before finalizing the genocide sabotage."

"is that what you're calling it?"

"it ain't pacifist since I'll be fighting that bone head plenty times... it isn't genocide since I'M NOT the killer now... so how about reverse genocide or geno-tage? sabo-cide?"

"didn't you name the previous run rebellio-"

"AY SH SH SHHHHH we don't talk about that."

"what? that you totally got owned by the trashbag?"

the banter was interrupted by toriel walking in, standing in place with a shocked expression.

"oh m-my little one how did you get here? did you fall down? you must've been so scared!"

you shook your head, smiling at the concerned monster.

"no! this flower helped me find my way!"

(my ass. you zoomed across the whole place like it was a marathon)

flowey thought as he smiled picking up on the act.

"o-oh! thank you... pardon my intrusion... my child do you know where you are?"

"yeah! he said it was safe here and he told me all about monsters and magic and the love they have for one another!"

Flowey cringed at the word love...

it had just occurred to him that you had made him say that dialogue XXX times already without his knowledge before sans decided its kill or be killed.

"we did get a chance to make many friends since he told me I should escape if I felt unsafe. "

you finished explaining as you grinned knowingly at his discomfort.

"oh! that's a relief for them to have met such a kind monster like you dear. thank you!" she smiled warmly at flowey.

unbeknownst to her a shiver ran on the flowers stem as he recalled being burnt to crisp by her fire every GOD DAMNED TIME he tried to talk to the human.

"I apologize for the late introduction my child. I am Toriel. gatekeeper of the ruins.

I live in that house just across! would you like to join me for some cinnamon pie?"

you nodded.

"I prefer butterscotch but thank you!"

you smile warmly. god this was SO nostalgic. it made your heart go all fuzzy and warm as you ignored the warning of impending doom at the corner of your mind, coming to bite you in the ass, like the grim reaper itself had taken offense from your recklessness...

now that you think about it... wasn't this whole ordeal just you and that riding hood arguing over who'd have the last laugh?

it was childish immature bit neither of you planned to give up..

if he wasn't out for your blood you'd even consider it close to a sibling dynamic...

"o-oh ! well it's a good thing I also happen to have the ingredients!"

your mind snapped back into the present.

your anxiety over where and WHEN he would strike would not let you linger in one place for too long.

you lift yourself up from the pile of red leaves under you and let flowey climb up to your shoulder, using his vines to keep his position seure around your head.

"a flower crown" ... you smirk at him and he rolled his eyes.

and just for a split second you barley managed to catch the look of sadness on toriels face.

"you look so lovely my child."

she smiled... it was a bitter sweet smile. a sense of grief and longing written all over her expression.

you take her hand, comforting her.

you may have been worse than la literal demon... but you weren't completely heartless... oh who were you kidding of course you were.

the nostalgia hit you like a brick wall when you spend a day crying over killing her by accident. good times good times...

you were tempted to do it again.

bringing yourself to care then cut yourself off. it was horrible it was beautiful it made you FEEL HORRIBLE AND AMAZING.

GOD YOU HATED how much you LOVED it. and loved how you hated it.

you hated yourself SO FUCKING MUCH that you couldn't even give yourself CLOSURE AND RIP OF THE DAMNED BANDAID.

you were a sucker for drama and tragedy.

that bittersweetness... that sweet sweet IRONY.

that sheer agoney of watching something you built crumble into a mess... how it crushed you on the inside.

validating your worst fears in a self fulfilling prophecy.

you had a small kinship with the feeling.

break it fix it break it fix it break it fix it...

you could.

why SHOULDN'T you. why WOULD you.

you could FEEL getting sucked into another self destructive cycle.

fix it.

obsessing over the smallest things. you had to know everything.

break it.

until realization hit.

what had you done?

what HAD you done? what WERE YOU DOING?

... oh it's just for shits and giggles!

I don't WANT to save them.

it doesn't MATTER.

I just wanna STICK IT TO HIS DUMB FACE. HAHAHAHA!

I DON'T CARE ABOUT THESE MONSTERS.

THEY'RE NOTHING BUT CODE!

/you're re wracked with a perverted sentimentality./

then why do I keep them around...?

you cared. you cared SO MUCH it drive you crazy.

a craziness you dared not indulge in in reality but in fiction.

it was your obsession that drive you to this point. not apathy.

you genuinely cared. you couldn't let go you couldn't. you had to. YOU HAD TO SEE IT TO THE END. THIS WASN'T GOING TO THE WAY YOU'D LET THINGS END.

...

now that you think about it... that thought process does sound iconically familiar.

you couldn't help but let out a small hysterical chuckle.

oh the irony. oh how much you wanted to just... laugh at your own hypocrisy for expecting anything different.

"you damned riding hood... "

you mumbled only to find yourself in toriels embrace as she rocked her chair back and forward, slowly stroking your hair to comfort you.

...

you leaned into her soft paws...

god you wished you could actually feel them. the warmth of the fireplace... hear her humming...

how much you craved to make yourself FEEL SOMETHING... ANYTHING. PAIN PLEASURE CALMNESS SUFFERING you'd take ANYTHING.

ANYTHING to make you feel less hollow.

"shhh it's okay child. it must've been hard on you on the surface. "

she cood softly comforting the human in her arm.

you contemplated her words for a moment.

was she talking to you...? how would she know how YOU felt? she couldn't. she wouldn't...

only flowey and sans could understand.

not even CHARA understood it.

you didn't need some npcs PITY.

...

and yet?

her words felt so pure so... genuine.

it sent another wave of guilt back at you.

"no... I didn't really have a dramatic backstory... "

you replied softly.

your throat was tight.

the way it used to be when you had killed papyrus for the first time.

you told yourself you'd give ANYTHING to be able to play this game for the first time again...

and this was as emotionally close as it was going to get

/god dammit/

you teared up.

you were glad they could not see you. the REAL you.

you couldn't afford to show weakness.

you couldn't afford to go soft and back down.

you were always committed to anything you set your mind to. good or evil. you were too deep into the grind to give up now.

you had to remind yourself.

this wasn't because of your guilt or hero complex. you simply did it out of boredom.

you WEREN'T a good person.

you didn't GET TO feel guilty. you didn't have the RIGHT to feel like this.

toriel nodded with a bitter smile.

"it's not something to be taken lightly... your soul... it's... how do I explain it..."

"evil. empty? "

you replied without thinking. it didn't matter. you'd just reset her if she found out too much. you decided to throw her a clue to just exactly WHAT kind of abomination she was cradling in her arms right now.

"oh no! heavens no. it's simply injured. it's scarred and it's broken."

she glanced down to your face with a worried expression.

"you have no idea what I am."

you smile bitterly.

/"I'm not even a "human." " /

/"I'm not even a child in fact." /

/"I've killed you XXX times..."/

/"do you know what you are even talking to"/

you WANTED to say it but... the words just wouldn't come out.

we're you scared of her disappointment?

or was it because you simply felt burnt out and too lazy to reset it...

Flowey could have tattled...

but after sans... "happened" you were too paranoid.

you couldn't risk being arrogant again.

toriel stayed silent for a moment, contemplating how to answer.

"of course I do. you're only human."

she smiled.

you turn to face her. she can't really read your expression. because your face is nothing but a shade of black with pixelated glitches decorating the outline.

not that it's within her code to react to such an odd display.

not that she recognizes you are just SO OUT OF PLACE. she also doesn't recognize the broken script... or the glitches occasionally popping in and out.

it alienates you.

you wished she could see what you saw. understand.

you didn't want to be alone...

"you must be tired my child. would you like me to show you to your bed room?"

she suggested deciding to break the tension.

you nodded.

it was practically tradition to check the mirror everytime at this point.

no description.

not in grey not in red... nothing. it was just a black screen reflecting your own face on the monitor.

your REAL face.

you felt amused at that little taunt of the semi self aware world mocking you.

it was charming.

as if it had aknowledged you.

SAW THROUGH you.

and you loved it. loved it's reactiveness and flexibility.

you flopped into the bed pretending to go to sleep.

"gnight Flowey"

"yeah yeah"

it was honestly surprising that you made more progress by taking a breather under the tree rather than speeding across the whole underground.

maybe there was more to it than just SPEED... you knew these characters like the back of your hand. their schedules, when and where they would go... you could predict them and read them like a book.

sans and flowey were the only variables you needed to be wary of.... well just sans since you and flowey were both practically identical when it came to personality and motivation.

if only you could organize the PERFECT domino effect... it could work.

but dominos were hard to put together without falling off. you needed to do it VERY slowly and meticulously. one mistake and all of it would be ruined.

that was why... they realized they needed help.

this was something impossible to do on a first try. and yet they NEEDED more attempts to secure a consistent solution.

it was time to get creative with the code.

so you decided to keep multiple copies OF THE SAME world on different devices with different accounts just to keep your experimentation clean precise and untreatable.

you were sure gaster would be proud... or pissed. either of the two. you didn't really know the guy.

but judging by sans's methods and his connection to him you had a hunch you two had a LOT on common.

maybe he wasn't AS bad as you? but sans didn't even seem that surprised by your first genocide... nor the second or third... he just... stood there with no motive or drive.

and now he was obsessed with "winning"

if it didn't scream gaster or Chara you don't know what did.

"I know your type"

"no... you're the type of person who will never be happy"

"don't you have anything better to do"

chills, literal chills everytime you heard it.

you squinted around the room keeping your ears sharp to the soulnd of Toriels movements.

she had gone to the kitchen.

"now's your chance! go!"

flowey whispered.

it didn't matter if sans killed her this run. you were simply testing the waters.

you swiftly jumped from your bed and dashed across the hall, your footsteps barely making a sound.

you ran down into the basement and went through all the way to the end.

usually toriel would've brought you back but you had done a sequence break, going downstairs AS the game was playing the cutscene...

yeah this was actually a bit funny to watch.

you could hear Flowey's confusion from the glitching screen, laughing your ass off.

you had no idea where you were going but your muscle memory knew. you had done a blind run before. you could get out of the-

you crashed headfirst into the door.

you snapped back into your vessel from the cutscene grabbing your throbbing head.

"ow..."

you muttered as you stood up and began to push the giant door open.

MAN was this thing heavy.

flowey only gave you a small glare before climbing back on top of your head again.

a brief breeze brushed past you.

there was a certain chilliness to it that you hadn't noticed before. it had gone colder.

you took a deep breath before marching forward with a determined face.

the cold whiplashed snow across your face.

a storm was brewing.

you could feel it.

you couldn't see much due to the blizzard but what you DID know was that from here on out this was a lion's den... and you were the prey.

you needed to get to a save point and fast.

he had a habit of camping near them because he had narrowed down their locations.

you knew he couldn't SEE the save points but that didn't stop him from tracking your record and finding their locations on his own.

you avoided going near the save for that very same reason and decided to take a detour around the forest. the main path was too predictable and the trees provided good cov-

"watch out!"

you held in a scream that threatened to erupt from your throat the moment you had stepped on a FUCKING BEAR TRAP.

"this fucking douche bag... "

you growled as you force it open with your bloody hands.

"I told you to be careful idiot!"

Flowey complained.

that was the SEVENTH FUCKING TIME you stepped on a bear trap.

you drag your injured limp leg.

"oh for the love of... here."

flowey heals you, preventing you from having to use a spider donut.

*HP fully restored.

"have I ever told you I love you?"

you wink at him.

"SHUT  UP BEFORE I SHOOT A BULLET THROUGH YOUR HEART"

he scoffed.

you hum with amusement.

wow. who knew he was so handy when he wasn't killing Asgore to stop you from going to the surface.

you march towards... the bridge...

sans had thrown you in the abyss underneath at LEAST twenty times.

he wasn't here which meant be was probably grinding exp at the ruins.

good for him.

you breeze across doggo's station, not making the slightest sound. you were here considerably earlier than you SHOULD have been.

you had even done sequence breaks to get here this early in fact. one could even say you... used a shortcut...

yeah you had no idea how that worked.

something familiar glistened at the corner of your eye.

there was a save point beckoning you suspiciously with an unoccupied and unattended "murder" post beside it.

it used to be a ketchup stand but now? oh boy you some really bad memories from it.

"no bloodthirsty skeletons around? no? don't mind of I do!"

you comment in your head slowly and very carefully stepping closer to the stand.

you stood still staring intently at the crate on top of the save point, positioned in a way that almost made it look like a crude and simple trap.

the lack of spikes or deadly decorations on the contraptions made you realize it might have been the work of papyrus.

the real or fake one? who knows.

"oh that's just pathetic."

flowey scoffts slamming his vines and throwing the crate off to the side.

"you're being petty don't you think? I thought it was cute."

you reach your hand, saving your progress-

*snap*

the snow underneath your feet crumbles sending the two of you to a pit of spikes.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

/ah there's sans' trademark. it's definitely from phantom pap/

you realize mid air, hearing flowey screech in terror as he nearly suffocates you from hugging you so tight.

you pull the spear out of your inventory and strike the wall.

it somehow works!

you don't know how a shabby stick an support your weight but you're not complaining.

your left heel got stabbed but it did not go clean through to be that bad.

a single tear fell from your eye as you shook in place curling into a ball hanging from of the horizontal spear struck into the wall.

you let out the sound resembling the cry of a whale and a mouse combined.

"what the hell is that sound... you just made..."

"pain"

you sob in silent agoney. why the toes it always had to be the friking toes man. you were fine dying a super Gorey death. or having your brain's blown out but THE PINKY TOE AND THE HEEL? REALLY!?

"what...??"

"paaaaaain... I'm in great pain"

you hiss grabbing your leg, cradling it to your chest like it's your newborn son.

shouldn't you have stopped falling just inches away from your face like in those movies?

life had many disappointments.

flowey pulled both of you up from the death trap.

he healed your leg back and even restored your torn shoes somehow.

"almost got dunked there. thanks"

you smiled.

you then proceeded to run full speed ahead, dodging any incoming monsters.

you zoomed across the ice ring with your velocity increasing dangerously high.

then you proceed to catapult yourself into a pile of snow at the other side of the froze lake.

"man I miss the old sm64 days where you could do this backwards"

you shake the snow off your head and flowey didn't even seem surprised at this point.

you could literally vibrate back and forth on command and glitch through some walls. you could moonwalk and go forward backwards on the hotland vents. he just stopped questioning it. he didn't want to know.

and you had brought this poor game to it's knees with how much sequence breaking you had done with seedruns.

maybe this was why it became like this.

the world was just angry at you for not stopping to smell the roses and going too fast...

you got yourself out if the snow puff, shaking off the cold from you body before heading towards snowdin.

to your surprise it wasn't a deserted wasteland yet.

but it wasn't warm and cheery ither. the atmosphere was heavy and the laughter of children could no longer be heard.

huh? what was going on?

granted YOU know what was about to go down but why was everyone else acting nervous?

they all seemed paranoid. no one seemed to know WHY or how they felt it but everyone could FEEL something was off and wrong...

a sense of dread had taken over the townsfolk. and no one knew why this feeling was happening.

some were nervous. some had closed up shops... there were also few who were still playing around in the snow but from their expressions you could tell they had their gaurd up.

did they know? did they remember? you really never knew since you never got to see this place before sans made it into a ghost town.

but from the looks of it people had a SENSE of it. they weren't oblivious.

good good.

[liliallowed]

Does the Player have a name other than well... Player? Dust called them a brat and we call them a Demon but do they have a name?

this one's a bit of an angsty one.

you wondered what this demons name was... or ghost... or whatever they were.

surely their name wasn't just... demon? right? that'd be like you being named human...

"you can call me anything you like since you remember though." they wink at you.

you watch them frown. "does it really matter?" "they'll just forget it anyway." they chuckled.

you roll your eyes. were they asking you to nickname them? "why?"

"why not? you under cover or something?"

"you'll be calling me that a lot of times from now on. the reset won't let you forget me or dusty bones over there. I figured you'd have the freedom to choose it. it's not like I'm going to use my real name here anyway." they grin.

"names carry identities and powerful memories with them. if you called me by my... original name then you'd be referring to a dead person. it doesn't exist. but if you're SO curious what it was? it's ______. "

"what... how do you even pronounce that? is it like silence?"

"I also go by "AAA" and "jhFsru" hehehe. "

"THAT'S JUST KEYBOARD SMASHING WHAT DO YOU MEAN!?"

"what can I say? I had zero interest in naming myself something consistent since I'd be changing it anyway to trick that demon into thinking it was the first time i-" they stopped talking.

"wh... what's wrong? demon? are there others like you?"

"no. the original angel. Chara." they muttered halfheartedly as their red eyes flashed with distain.

"huh? is that your name?"

"shared a name with em once... though it was just a gimmick. hehehe they thought they could take this world from me. thought I'd let them erase it... and bragged about being in control. in the end they lost and I took over it all. do I guess I am. hehehe. I wouldn't go as far as to steal their identity though."

you feel a bit nervous. it felt like a triggering subject. they had the same sad look on their face as sans when you'd ask him about his past. guilt masked by pride. shame hidden away by confidence. they didn't feel particularly dangerous... instead they felt VULNERABLE. open and honest... you didn't know how they'd react if you made the wrong move. SOMETHING about this made you furrow your eyebrows with concern. was it pity? empathy? or were they just emotionally manipulating you? it didn't... FEEL like it. unlike sans this person was highly unpredictable and their mood swings would always give you whiplash... pull you close and push you away both figuratively and literally... still. something about their solemn voice made you feel like this wasn't part of their mind games.

"how about... crimson?" you suggest.

their eyes widen as they turn their face at you.

"you know... cuz your eyes are... red and your soul and magic n stuff..." you fiddle with your thumbs.

"I like it!" they smile and for the first time it felt almost... almost genuine...

it felt strange. you didn't really think they'd be able to make that expression since all you had seen of them was a playful sadistic grin. was that also a facade? how much of the persona of a demon was real and how much of it was an act? peeking into a tiny crack of their mask made you feel... a sense of grief. sorrow of a self destructive caged bird buried deep inside. one that willingly threw away the key to it's own freedom out of spite.

/what happened to you?/

you quickly recoil from those thoughts. it wouldn't change anything. you'd still take them down after getting rid of this reset and help sans...

they glance at you, the smile fading into the casual playful smirk.

"don't be so blue y/n. morally grey is much more your style if you ask me."

aaaand they're back to being an asshole.

[liliallowed]

This is so frustrating! We reset because sans might have hated and killed Y/N, but even if he doesn't want to kill us he hates us now and is suspicious! We have to find some way to make him like us! I wish we never freed that demon, we should have just done whatever he said from start.

Okay damn that sounded desperate I think I might have gotten Stockholm syndrome from being kidnapped-

you want to make him like you you say?

a familiar voice echoed through your mind... merging with your strange feelings.

"I feel the same. though I have yet to win him over." they giggle, as they tilt their head.

"of course he wouldn't love you you ... you" your throat tightens.

"I... what? took away his freedom and choice? forced him into a corner for my selfish benifit? sounds like what he did to you and yet you LIKE it. don't you? you little freak hehehehe you're like me aren't youuuu? you LIKE HIM TOO DON'T YOU?"

their eyes glistened in the shadows their form flickering in and out of existence.

"what...? Not like that! that's not love. we're NOT the same. stop comparing your sick obsession to..."

"to? what? fairytales or romance? or is it the THRILL? or guilt and pity? there's something wrong with you buddy. I knew you had a loose screw too. you're like me. he USED you silly~ did you actually think he loved you because you're that special someone?"

you shake your head. it was just them playing with your head. you weren't like them... were you? of course not. you wouldn't lie, manipulate or... would he kill you if you told him the truth? maybe it wasn't too late... you wouldn't just use this power for evil.

if they thought they could corrupt you with this then they had another thing coming. you wouldn't let them.

you were going to stop this demon and... maybe help him.

"oh... how cliche and predictable. wow playing the hero are we? okay I'm picking up on what you're going for! I tried the same too but he saw through it when I split myself from frisk... hehehe he's smart. don't assume you'll be granted mercy if you play nice or he'll kill you if you're compliant. think outside of the box. he won't fall for it if you're TOO nice. just conveniently TOO PERFECT and kind."

you ignored their words.

"he likes ketchup.... reading... hes pretty quiet and distrustful." they suddenly spoke again, listing more information that felt personal. how long had they known each other?

"he also loves to plan ahead to a ridiculous extent." they rolled they're eyes.

"I don't need your help I'll figure this out on my own." you glare at them.

"I'm sure you will." they disappeared from your sight leaving you alone with no direction or guide.

GOOD.

you make your way around going about your day, they way you'd normally do... ignoring the HEAVY lingering sense of dejavu.

same faces same voices same vague conversations as you bypassed an exact copy of a moth long forgotten...

/keep it together. you got this./ you tell yourself taking a deep breath.

he hadn't made any moves to show himself to you yet... how could you make things better?

the question remained...

why DID you feel for him? was it guilt for releasing his enemy? or betraying his trust? was it even a betrayal if he never intended to get you involved in the first place?

it was too convenient.... why you? was it REALLY just for this demon?

...

it was fine. you just had to return him this demon and then he'd... /he'd kill you anyway dumbass/

"stop... he won't. "

/you don't know him like I do. he'll still kill you even if you're on his side./

"then why did he let me leave?"

/cuz you weren't worth the attention. he's dangerous and even if you win his favor... who's to say he won't just add you to a part of his exp as a sentiment to keep your sacrifice on him? he's unpredictable. if you want to keep yourself alive you'll have to be smart./

he...

/he's killed everyone. all his friends family and loved ones. what makes you think YOU'RE so special to him? people have tried saving him. old friends... his brother, even colleagues. all dead. betrayed. do you REALLY feel confident your love is stronger than those bonds? main character syndrome much?/

...

*your will wavers.

[liliallowed]

vs toriel hugging the player's avatar as she's dying while she burns the entire place down is so sad...

she apologizes from Chara and the other humans seeing this as her own punishment.

goat mom nooooo T-T

...

(a loop aware dusttale toriel would probably be the blue diamond of the au...)

[liliallowed]

As I am a chaotic force to challenge the will of the dust(*cough* father) loving side of things-

How about we actually take a look at the demon. They're teaching us SOMETHING. Sans taught us NOTHING. Oh, nothing against Sans of course, still enjoy the guy. However this demon is doing us a favor.

Did we deserve to be dragged into this? Technically, no. All of us have our faults in this situation. However we make the most of it!

Let's do this: Training can be over for the day or have a break, what else is there to do rather than relax. Haven't we got that one show to finish? Let's invite the demon to watch it with us. Bit of a thank you. But don't be too buddy buddy as a bit of a screw you.

Doing this could lead to us asking why.

Why are they doing this, why us, why does this any of this matter? We were mostly fine before all this. Not like it's been regrettable, unless you count the almost getting killed part. But what's the point of any of this? Giving us the reset, having our own hurtful ANF self destructive situation. What does anyone gain from it apart from senseless action that will only drive us further to crazy town?

fake answer? they're bored

real answer? they feel lonely.

"a break??" they glance at your tired body and sore posture, then back at your face. "right. forgot people actually get tired in this world..."

they hand you a water bottle that manifested out of thin air. seemingly from a pocket dimension called "inventory".

"don't you?" you ask as you suspiciously eye the water bottle, examining it for traces of poison or unsavory chemicals. it looks like an ordinary unopened bottle.

"every once a 6 FULL resets maybe. sure." they chuckle. "that's... estimated to be 15 years of your time and a single day's work for me. if you live 2.5 years each reset."

"w-wait HOW OLD ARE YOU!?"

"meh. time moves differently for me so asking that question is silly. I'm... in my early 20s if relative age is what you mean... literal age? I'd have to calculate... hmm 2X times 365 times 15... more than 109575 years of your time approximately! not to mention I've seen the birth and death of your universe like... 9X times by now... "

"you're joking. what are you, Cthulhu?"

"kinda yeah actually! summed it up pretty well!"

you blink and look at them with doubt. you knew they were dangerous but a world ending calamity and a cosmic horror beyond this dimension seemed a bit much.

"so you don't eat, sleep or rest you just... exist?"

"yep. well, I regenerate limbs and my health when I eat so eating is still benifitial to me. aaand I can't taste, or smell or feel physical pain or pleasure. I can hear and see just fine though."

you instinctively put you hand on theirs, to test it, giving it a light pich.

they did not react. didn't even flinch. their hand didn't seem to be an unfeeling object. it was warm and natural Ike any normal hand but... the lack of response to any tickling attempts you made on it confirmed it.

"how do you... feel things then?"

"it's usually just trial and error. timing, and putting different amounts of strength to something that you can't feel."

"it it like... sensory deprivation?"

"I wouldn't know. it's like asking a blind person what color is... well... after they lost their eyesight hehe. I know the feeling of taste and smell. butttt well, not here."

"oh... is that why you act so extreme?"

"kinda? but also there's always so little consequence to anything I do. so it kinda takes the fun out of it... while also making it more fun... you know? like playing chess. pawns die all the time but you can just bring them back when you reset the board! so... did it even matter that the pawns died?"

"you... see others as... toys? chess pieces?"

"mm... only the ones that forget are pawns. dusty bones is... more of a chess rival rather than a pawn himself. an equal. like you! you're also a newbie to this game that he's trying to get rid of but I won't let him."

you cringe at the thought of the concept of slaughtering people as a game yet decide to listen anyway.

"it's been just me and him for so long. the same dance the same song... and neither of us knew any better. I was scared of change and him forgetting me... or worse, forgiving me. he was scared to forget and let me go because of his vengeance."

"you WANT him to hate you!? WHY!?"

"having a faithful enemy is better company than forgetful friends. it's why I don't sugar things for you hun. I'm a bad person. feel free to rub it in, you'll only feed my ego. I wanted to spice things up a bit in this bland rivalry of ours."

"I'm... am I just a tool to you?"

"no, in fact, y/n you're one of the few people I actually give a damn about. you and riding hood of course."

"I don't know why but I find that even worse -_-"

"hehehe. glad to be a motivator for you either way goody two shoes. try not to cave into the dark side. me and bone head have waaaay too much of boring old edgy drama going on. you're a breath of fresh air."

"you... I... you're a horrible person."

"yes, and? you're point? heard that plenty times darling it starts to lose it's weight after you've committed several war crimes just for the thrill of it"

"is THAT why you gave me the reset and... are trying to train me to defend myself? a stupid GAME!?"

"mmm. yeah. that's about it. it's just cuz I'm bored. besides, dust likes you and he doesn't let just ANYONE in or let his gaurd down easily. something must've been special for him to pick you?"

"but it's NOT! IM LITERALLY JUST THE MOST AVERAGE PERSON IN THE UNIVERSE"

"an average person wouldn't have explored the kidnappers basement to save more victims. or let their curiosity get the best of them. and they wouldn't have the capacity to bother being bone head's partner or remain loyal even after knowing he will kill you despite your relationship" they pause. "or that could just be Stockholm syndrome..."

they pat you on the back. "meh, we're all a bit crazy."

you wonder if that's actually the case. they do seem to have a point... DO YOU HAVE STOCKHOLM SYNDROME!?

"oh that means a lot coming from YOU."

"hehehe. you'll have to set the bar to negative hun."

[liliallowed]

something about the instant tone change once he realized they were in the room made you feel a bit awkward.

he was a completely different person when THEY were around.

the tired smile had turned into a sharp grin. his closed sockets had snapped open with his sharp eyelights pinned onto the anomaly's movement by habit. his relaxed body had tensed again as he quickly lifted his weight off your shoulder...

you sighed looking at the mischievous demon who seemed to be enjoying the death glares.

you had gotten used to them barging in but not with HIM being so... calm around you.

and when they left his body slowly relaxed again as he very slowly started to close his eyes and lean back towards you.

"he must really trust you."

you roll your eyes at the nosey demon deciding to take it to possession tactics again.

"it makes me curious. I've never been this close. not even by your proxy."

*keep it to yourself.

you think as your shut them out of your mind with finality.

you could feel jealousy. longing. a sense of sadness. your hand instinctively fisted itself resisting the urge to put your arm around him.

not when it was from THEM.

"he's never going to forgive me. and that's alright. but you are different. if I could just-"

*get out of my head.

it's not fair... I've been there with him... I've been with him for so long... what makes you do special... I could be you I could copy EXACTLY WHAT YOU DO. I COULD BE YOU. BUT I'M NOT GOING TO BECAUSE...

*because?

because I'm not a pretentious prissy lil goody two shoes... I... I won't act as his savior... i just... I never thought I'd WANT this too... along with... I just... I want him to... care. I... I didn't think it'd feel this sweet... I want to remain as enemies but... but what you have... I want it too... trust...

*we'll talk later. you're a real piece of work I'll tell you that.

what you're gonna try and fix me too?

*if I promise I won't forget you, will you trust me enough to come back to you? I promise I'll spend time with you. please leave. he's tired.

fine... Dont... don't hurt him okay? it wouldn't matter if I hurt him. he's gaurded against me... but not you.

*stop justifying your wrongdoings crimson.

[hollyhomburg]

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