#lion king official trailer

[celestialowlryx]

It's time I tell you a story. A story of a cub not much bigger than you. Long before they became legends, Mufasa and the prince, who would come to be known as Scar, became brothers.

Mufasa: The Lion King | Official Trailer

[mask-of-prime]

TLK: What's Your Name?

I don't think I've ever drawn so quickly in response to something in years.

Immediately after watching this TV spot teasing the upcoming official trailer for Mufasa: The Lion King, I just HAD to adapt little Taka into his 2D Universe style.

Speaking of names... so I'm, like, not insistent that his name is Askari or anything, as I've learned that that name is simply meant for the TLG canon, especially since the name was never spoken in the show and was merely suggested by a crew member, but uh...... Even though Barry Jenkins said that he would source no existing TLK material, that name did not come out of nowhere. This story is far too different than that of A Tale of Two Brothers, and is original enough, so why go with that existing name? Did he, like, do a quick Google search with "Taka" popping up and just go with that? I actually thought he was gonna be named something completely else like Elijah or something, like in that old line-up of character names in the early M: TLK news days.

But anyway, guys, my heart is POUNDING the trailer is so awesome 👏👏👏. Immediately got Prince of Egypt vibes from the premise. Also, it seems to be implied that Mufasa and Taka are sent off of their own to settle their own territory as young males, rather than the mess of Mufasa just winning his royal adoptive parents' love over their own prince son like people worried about. The CGI movies have officially established themselves as a much separate entity from the 2D works in this case, where it seems to follow more IRL lion behavior where it's not so much a human-like monarchy, but a grandiose lion territory. Though... that does feel SO different that it almost feels like a whole other lion-related franchise :p

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Have you heard? Disney is making another Lion king, but this time, it's a prequel, and it's going to be about Mufasa's backstory. Which i think it's very interesting. i'm open to seeing how they're going to show/represent the movie. Even though it's coming out of nowhere? A prequel after all these years?

I've also seen a lot of criticism about the movie, even though it's not even out yet. A lot of fans are disappointed that Mufasa and Scar/Taka (interesting how they're using "Taka" instead of "Scar") are no longer blood related brothers, but instead, both are orphans which doesn't make much sense since in the original Lion king Mufasa comes from a lineage of royalty and gives Simba a speech talking about “great kings” and “let me tell you what my father told me” I'm open to new ideas and stuff but i don't know how to feel about it. Maybe it’s the nostalgia? This honestly feels like a cheap cash grab, and seeing how Disney has had quality control issues lately, it's either going to be a flop or not.

I'm just HOPING that they're NOT going down the "misunderstood villain arc" because I've had enough of it. if they’re going for the "Mufasa was adopted and usurper who took Scar's rightful place at the throne! Showing that Scar was right all along."

What do you think?

Oh, I’ve heard of it! I’m not that interested in watching though. I’ll probably just wait for it to come out while praying that TWST gives us free stuff in a promotional campaign and listen to some commentary or review channels give their takes.

According to Wikipedia, Mufasa: The Lion King is supposed to be a sequel to the 2019 live action adaptation, not the original 1994 animated film. The prequel film was confirmed in September of 2020, which isn’t that long after The Lion King live action movie came out. They’ve been steadily releasing new information about Mufasa, such as voice cast reveals in 2021, 2022, and April 2024. It was officially announced and title dropped in 2022 during the D23 Expo. It’s possible that the film took longer to make due to the pandemic and worker’s strikes that occurred between 2020 and now.

On the Scar/Taka thing, I believe “Taka” (I’ve also seen “Askari” in some sources) is Scar’s given name and “Scar” is a nickname Mufasa gave him following an incident in which Taka was as tricked and attacked by other animals, which was the origin of his scar. This information comes from The Lion Guard (a series I haven’t watched myself; this is what I was told by a friend who has). If Scar is being called “Taka” in Mufasa (and assuming The Lion Guard is canon), then that means Mufasa must take place prior to the brothers’ relationship souring and him getting his signature scar.

I watched the trailer and… the phrasing is quite odd??? Now Mufasa is “a lion born without a drop of nobility in his blood”. That implies he and Scar aren’t blood-related. In real life, that makes sense since it’s usually the strongest lion that leads the pack rather than the eldest. Scar has a line where he says Mufasa got the brawn whereas he got the brains, so it sort of supports this idea. However, making it so that Mufasa and Scar are unrelated orphans within the Lion King universe doesn’t make sense if you hold that up next to the already established lore. They imply multiple times that Scar lost his claim to the throne when Simba, Mufasa’s blood-related son, was born to succeed him. So royal blood of the king is important??? The only way Scar could take over was to eliminate those in Mufasa’s lineage. It’s possible that Mufasa’s speech to Simba about the “great kings” and his own father could be in reverence or to show love for his adopted dad or pack…? But that makes those scenes a lot less impactful. Additionally, part of the reason why Scar’s actions are so evil is because he committed fratricide. He turned against his own blood brother, then manipulated his nephew, whom he also shares blood with, into taking the blame. There’s something very visceral and cold-blooded about that—plus it adds to the Hamlet parallels.

Seeing as Mufasa is the titular character, I don’t think they’ll go down the route of intentionally making him the bad guy to Scar. Disney’s so shy about making its main characters morally grey or just bad people… though like you said, they might do it unintentionally because by writing Mufasa as an orphan, that means he’s an illegitimate ruler… meaning Simba is an illegitimate heir… meaning Scar killed/deceived those with no claim to the throne, so actually Scar was not in the wrong at all 💀 But technically it wouldn’t be Scar’s right to rule anyway because he’s not of royal blood either (since you said he's apparently also an orphan? I did not see this mentioned in the trailer though)??? Unless Scar is the one from a royal lineage and everyone else is just dead???

I think it’s still possible that we get something tragic between the two; blood does not determine everything. Mufasa and Taka could form a genuine brotherly bond that later falls apart. It doesn’t really make up for the retconning of current lore, but who knows 😂 maybe they’ll pull some of their old magic out and actually write a story that makes sense to lead into The Lion King. I’m not going to hold my breath though, the live action movies have never been that good to me 💦 I’m going to let the movie come out and speak for itself before I make any real judgments on its quality, as I don’t believe in jumping the gun (even given previous track records).

I wonder what this new movie’s lore would mean for TWST… Since Tamashina Mina was very inspired by The Lion Guard, that means (depending on how the film goes) Mufasa’s events could be retroactively integrated into TWST history?? It’s not a guarantee, but just something to consider.

[ninjablisss]

MHA Characters as Text Messages I've Received From My Friends

𝐶𝑙𝑎𝑠𝑠 1𝑎:

Denki Kaminari: But then quickly delete your search history because that's embarrassing

Ejiro Kirishima: I KNEW IT(no I didn't. It was an uneducated guess)

Fumikage Tokoyami: My bird

Izuku Midoriya: Maybe how it did in my ugly ass Roblox drawing from elementary school

Katsuki Bakugo: Bye the friend sounds evil even though they were probably 10

Koji Koda: Why did you send me the official Lion King Trailer?

Kyoka Jiro: Someone on discord head cannoned me as bi once and it was so weird

Mashirao Ojiro: They're both cutie patootie blondes

Mezou Shoji: Just as long as it doesn't look furry or animal like

Mina Ashido: Dang on my tombstone I would just want something stupid like "it's kinda dark down here"

Minoru Mineta: I wish I could still grow taller😭

Momo Yaoyorozu: Depressed, really attached, charismatic, INTELLIGENT (bc she knows so many languages and random stuff), amiable

Ochaco Uraraka: You're not a mean person I swear by that

Rikidou Satou: I am gender glutton

Sero: Ofc another Armin Kurapika lookalike

Shoto Todoroki: His dad is a huge prick

Tenya Iida: not yet I have been too focused on schoolwork

Toru Hagakure: I don't know enough about your parents to really have an opinion

Tsuyu Asui: Better not be an anthropomorphic animal.

Yuga Aoyama: Oh I know he's a blond!

𝘗𝘳𝘰 𝘏𝘦𝘳𝘰𝘦𝘴:

All Might: First of all the meme yes. I mean what can I say I love hot middle-aged dilf men 🥴🥵🤪🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤

Endeavor: What the heck kind of parenting is that?

Hawks: Do you know about the joke and memes about the duolingo bird holding people's families hostage and stiff

Midnight: Because. I too am a bottom!

Mirko: Women? Mommy dom women.

Mount Lady: true, true I would have a whole army of boyfriends my own personal gang of men

Present Mic: Blue eyes? Tall? Maybe longish hair?

Shouta Aizawa: Does he even have eyes??? Jk I don't what know what I'm saying

𝘝𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘴

Dabi: Shops at hot topic might be one of the worst reasons to excuse his actions I fear ☹️

Himiko Toga: Was it a love triangle

Overhaul: Ah a dilf

Shuichi Iguchi: LOL MIKE WAZOWSKI??

Tomura Shigaraki: Dude the world would end if I took over tho, like I would be like kill them all but my friends and their families, and my family, and probably a couple celebrities like Danny DeVito, keanu reeves, Ryan Reynolds and tom hiddleston. but other people would be doomed

Twice: Probably just cloning

𝘖𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘊𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴:

Eri: I see a animal or wholesome child they will be adopted

Mei Hatsume: Dang I had a dream where I was pretty much on what i could only describe as chaos out of context

Neito Monoma: ah yes how could I forget the psychopathic sentient dorito

[demifiendrsa]

Mufasa: The Lion King | Official Trailer

Poster

Synopsis

“Mufasa: The Lion King” enlists Rafiki to relay the legend of Mufasa to young lion cub Kiara, daughter of Simba and Nala, with Timon and Pumbaa lending their signature schtick. Told in flashbacks, the story introduces Mufasa as an orphaned cub, lost and alone until he meets a sympathetic lion named Taka—the heir to a royal bloodline. The chance meeting sets in motion an expansive journey of an extraordinary group of misfits searching for their destiny—their bonds will be tested as they work together to evade a threatening and deadly foe.

[romancemedia]

It's amazing how much D23 has released so much new info about so many upcoming Disney films and shows.

Zootopia 2 Sneak Peek, Poster and Plot.

Incredibles 3 is officially in the works.

A new look into Tiana The Series

Frozen 3 is going to be a 2-part film and released it's first concept art

Phineas and Ferb return

First Trailers - Snow White (2025), Musfasa The Lion King, Moana 2, Lilo and Stitch (2026) etc

A sneak peek for X-Men 97 Season 2.

[princesssarisa]

I've seen the trailer for Mufasa: The Lion King and I've read the Lion King fandom's outrage over it. So I've decided to share my own thoughts on the subject.

I agree that nobody asked for a prequel to the 2019 Lion King. That remake was mediocre. Nor am I expecting Mufasa to be much better; I'm not even sure whether I'll go see it or not.

I couldn't care less that the movie is retconning the popular fandom lore of who Mufasa and Scar's parents were and what their childhoods were like, or their backstory from The Lion Guard. None of that was ever official canon anyway.

The one retcon I might object to is that Mufasa and Scar will now be adoptive brothers rather than biological brothers. Some might argue that this makes Scar's eventual crime less horrific. But that will depend on how the movie plays out. If they're raised together through most of their childhood and sincerely think of themselves as brothers, then it doesn't matter whether the same mother gave birth to them or not: Mufasa’s murder is still fratricide.

But it seems as if the biggest source of outrage is the fact that the movie has Mufasa be a commoner lion by birth, which the fans claim goes against the themes of the original film.

The argument is that in the original Lion King, everyone has a destiny and a "place in the circle of life," and to go against it upsets the balance of nature. Scar does this by killing Mufasa, usurping the throne, and bringing the hyenas into the Pride Lands when they don't belong there. Simba is the rightful king because he's Mufasa's son: therefore, it's his responsibility to depose Scar and take the throne he was born to inherit. Therefore (the fans argue), Mufasa must have been the "rightful king" himself who inherited the throne, not a commoner who changed his destiny and gained the throne through his own achievements. If it was otherwise (they argue), then Scar did nothing wrong, because why shouldn't he have made himself king through his own efforts and cunning, or made changes to the animals' social order? And why couldn't Simba have opted out of being king, then, and let the lionesses find some other, more willing young lion to overthrow Scar instead?

Personally, I don't see it that way. Scar's crime isn't just that he became king when he wasn't "the rightful heir": it's that he murdered his brother, and then became a selfish, irresponsible king. The problem with the hyenas isn't just that they "don't belong in the Pride Lands": it's that the Pride Lands' resources can't support a second apex predator group, but Scar brings them in anyway just to uphold his own power. And just because it's wrong of Simba to try to abdicate while the Pride Lands are starving under Scar's reign doesn't inherently mean "only the biological son of the previous king belongs on the throne"!

I'll admit that Mufasa's new backstory is an obvious retcon. In some ways, the original film does seem to say "Everyone has a proper place in the world, predetermined at birth, and to go against it upsets the balance of nature." Over the years, critics have lambasted that "conservative" message, and Disney is obviously trying to "fix it" by retconning the story so that Mufasa wasn't of royal birth and became king through his own merit.

But I don't think the original film's message about the balance of nature and the circle of life inherently means "everyone's life is predetermined at birth and no change in role or status is allowed."

I have no idea if Mufasa will be good, bad, or just as mediocre as the 2019 Lion King, but I don't object to the basic scenario.

[charlieslowartsies]

the reason why my August vacation is so important...

This is a long, kinda emotional for me journal <3

As I mentioned a while ago, I was splitting my usual two weeks in June of debauchery (sleeping & laying in the sun & hiking in the woods outback lol) into one week last month and then saved the last week for the end of August.

I also wanted to explain the significance of this trip! Less about having to justify my time off and more about 'eeee excite omg!' and wanted to share with y'all!

SO a long time ago when I was a wee Charlie, from age 0 up to 21, I was incredibly close to my grandparents on my mom's side. My nana died when I was 15, and while that took a huge toll on me, I was fortunate enough to have my grandpa till 21. These two people were absolutely second parents. My parents did a good enough job raising me, but they had huge fights and my father had anger issues and it caused a lot of wounds. These were the people I could always rely on, when I couldn't rely on my folks.

They lived 2 hours away on a wonderful lake in a lil tiny trailer over looking it. I spent weeks at a time there, even the occasional month. I learned to swim in that lake, which in hindsight prolly wasn't the safest idea due to its depth, and grew up to be obsessed with swimming. Learned how to sail, ski, fish. Learned how to bake, tend a garden, how a fresh bowl of fruit in the morning should be before breakfast.

We'd swim 3x a day, sometimes just to float and cool down before bed, since there was no a/c and the summer nights were hot. Laid on our backs and counted stars like the Lion King. Fried trout on the grill after we'd caught them, had watermelon seed spittin' contests. My grandpa grew pumpkins and carved my name into one, so that the writing grew bigger and bigger over the months. I had one pumpkin live from September to April.

My handprint is on the last cement step leading down to the beach. It was eroded when we scattered my grandpa's ashes in 2014, but I remember where it was, how to place my palm to compare.

I guess I'd say I had a mixed childhood of various great, good, bad, and horrible things. Like most people, yanno? But those golden summer days on the lake were 100% a part of who I am today, and where my many of my happiest memories come from.

Due to me being in college, cost to heat the place in winter when they had no intention of living there, my family sold the property on the lake to an investor who planned to rent it out.

This was 2014. The same year he died, the same year my horse died (within 2 months of each other) and one of my father's many health issues landed him in the hospital from Oct to Dec, so that he spent xmas on an iv stand. With everything going on, we had no time or money for a big dinner, or presents that year.

I guess that was the first year I realized childhood was truly and officially over, and it was time to grow up. Many of us have that marked moment on our life.

Time passed. I finished college, went back home after turning down a few out of state jobs to spend time with my dad, who I had a feeling didn't have much time left. Turned out I was right, as I came home in 2015 and he died in 2022. There was an accident in '16 where he almost bled to death on our kitchen floor, but I was able to provide pressure/medical care and give him some more years.

Shortly after we moved in 17, I was notified that the house on the lake had been rented to someone who unfortunately had a lot of issues mental health wise, and they had eventually abandoned the property. It sat, rotting, and got so covered on the inside in black mold the county leveled the place and destroyed it.

We had left it fully furnished due to the buyer's urging. Ancient, stunning mid century and older furniture from my great-great grandparents time. My nana's organ player. The rocker my mom and I sat in. And, frankly, to quote one of those popular songs, the house that built me was just gone.

I figured that was the end of it, and cried and got angry/sad and then moved on and just tried surviving as covid hit later on in the years.

Turns out, the man who rented it decided that wasn't going to happen again. He put a new trailer on the property, and rented it out for vacationing due to it's location. We didn't know this until I stumbled across it while daydreaming about a vacation on the lake that I missed it was a relative, one I could at least go back to for a few days. My heart skipped so many beats when I saw the address and paused, thinking there had to be come mistake. It wasn't.

Not only can I spend time on that property again (in a new house which honestly might be for the best) But turns out, for whatever reason, they kept the furniture separate and placed a few pieces into the new house. There's a photo of the rocker in the layout photos. The two level lamp they had is still intact and functioning. I booked the place for a week immediately.

It's expensive for me, but my girlfriend and I will make it work. (Certainly not like we have far to travel.) We're going to be there smack dab in the middle of my Grandfather's birthday. I haven't had a true, just-for-me vacation since 2015 when we went to a camping ground. The excitement I have for this is immeasurable.

The dock my Dad and Grandpa put in themselves is fixed up. The crumbled little cement step is still there with a tiny indent, where my 4 yr old hand was pressed. I am going back to this place, and going back in time for just a short while, to heal and have fun and be a whole mess of emotions. I never got to say good bye to my Nana or Grandpa.

But I can say goodbye to them now, and say 'hello again, old friend' to the lake, and the new little house that sits before it.

That is why i am so excited about august. I know I don't share personal things on here a ton, but I wanted to share this. Thank you for reading this far if you have, I appreciate it.

I hope you have a wonderful day and remember how important you are <3 And as always stay hydrated! -Charlie

[thepaststillhurts]

Mufasa: The Lion King | Official Trailer

Okay, let’s talk about this movie and its trailer again. To be honest, I am very struggling with myself. 

On one hand, as a classic TLK enthusiast I just can’t accept this story. I already revealed my opinion and thoughts earlier, you can find it here and here. On the other hand, exactly because I am a TLK enthusiast I can’t hate this movie either.

So I am still not sure if I will ‘exile’ it from my Lion King canon totally (thus pretend this movie doesn’t exist at all) or just consider as an AU... I wonder about separating the animated and live action story: in the animated universe keeping Mufasa and Scar biologically brothers, and in the live action universe keeping them the way they are in this movie. It’s still not decided, I wanna watch this movie first.

One more note, it’s interesting how they skip The Lion Guard lore and leave it out. With this prequel The Lion Guard loses its point.

Okay, let’s talk about some positive things:

Cub Kiara is incredibly cute!

I really love the quality and how realistic they are! Well done, nice work! I really love Obasi’s mane, it is so realistic!

Also, their faces are a lot more expressive. EXPRESSIVE! Finally! This is what we missed a lot in the 2019 movie. They smile, they get surprised, they are emotional.

There is one more thing that hit me, and this is Taka/Scar’s words:

Taka: I saved his life!

Scar: Long live the king!

I still don't see the cause why he goes evil. Probably because they travel together to a new territory where the animals accept Mufasa as their king instead of Scar despite his royal bloodline?

[stopandimagineloveforever]

Mufasa: The Lion King | Official Trailer

[movie-track01]

Mufasa: The Lion King | Official Trailer

A new trailer of #Mufasa: The lion King is here

In theatres DECEMBER 20

[jackbatchelor3]

Mufasa: The Lion King Official Trailer

🦁👑

[yojabari]

Mufasa: The Lion King | Official Trailer

[caffeinated-rants]

Why I feel that I am Autistic

I'm definitely bringing up my need to know and desire to be officially and professionally diagnosed for autism when I see my pcp in January, but until then.... I want to explain and justify WHY I have come to the self-diagnosis until I get a professional one.

****

Okay... first, first off, I was always told that I was "mature for my age" or that I always was "an old soul" and "did my own thing" when I was growing up. More often than not, I was in my own little world, marching to the beat of my own drum. As a baby, apparently if I didn't like who I was being held by (my grandpa in particular) I would just hold my breath. I would hold it until my face was blue. No inherent reason for this other than "marching to my own beat".

In addition to this, I can remember that when I went to pediatric appointments in my toddler years, my mom always said that I was following the chart nicely. I was hitting the growth progressions point for point and on time. The only difference for me opposed to other toddlers? I was on my OWN line. I wasn't ON the growth chart line. I was following it in time, point for point, dot for dot, but I was on my own line that accurately was following the standardized growth chart that my pediatricians had. As for why this was never actually looked into I'm not sure, let alone would have remembered given I was a toddler, but I do remember my mom always saying that I was on my own little line following the growth chart.

I also vaguely remember being in 1st thru 4th grade and being taken out of class at least once every year with a few other students to be brought into this portable trailer type thing where we all had to sit in our own little cubicles with headphones on and essentially do a hearing test with all those little beeps and boops of various volumes. I never understand at the time what it was for, I just saw it as a reason to get out of class so I never questioned it. I also had to undergo "surgery" to get ear tubes three times as a toddler, as I got chronic ear infections and was at risk for hearing loss in one ear from them. This could entirely be the sole reason for the hearing tests growing up, but there were other kids who seemed to hear just fine that were pulled out of class to do these hearing tests with me, so it does just make me wonder, yknow?

Now, growing up, my mother and grandparents didn't necessarily play with me as a toddler from what I can remember, and at one point I didn't understand that my mother wasn't playing hide and seek when we were at their house and I hid for over an hour in the closet until I heard my grandpa bring up the possibility of calling the cops because they couldn't find me. That scared me into coming out of my hiding spot, as I thought I was then in trouble for playing. More often than not, I was alone by myself playing with my Barbies and Bratz while I had either a Disney or Barbie VHS tape playing in the background. If I wasn't playing with my dolls, then I was playing with Neopets that I got from a McDonalds happy meal or those little Schleich animal figurines, and if I was playing with the animal figurines then usually Bambi or The Lion King would be on the TV and I'd be reenacting the movie scene for scene with the little animals, and this got to the point where I would specifically beg to get the correct animals so that I could "play" the movie accurately.

Back peddling to preschool, I also have some vague memories of interacting with kids. Sure we got along and played pretend and would drag one of the preschool aides to be our patient if we were playing doctor, but... aside from that, I often would play by myself. I would always like to find the Light Bright if it wasn't being used by another toddler and I would sit in the corner of the room and just have a blast playing with that thing on my own. I just thought that this was the best thing in the world next to playing with animals toys and plushies. I never really wanted much more than that, as I didn't have too much of an interest interacting with the other kids. Outside on the tiny little playground, though, it was different. I felt awkward and I didn't understand the games the other kids played outside or why the boys were climbing on everything and why everyone was so interested in the sandbox when it had all those bees by it. I would just get on a tricycle and ride around in circles around the playground until it was time to come back inside from recess.

I vividly remember that at one point, I guess I was acting out during circle time and I was told to go up on top of the indoor play structure because up top there were big toddler-sized plushies and it was treated as a "time-out" area and in this memory, I don't recall feeling upset over being in trouble?? I didn't mind going up top to be by myself?? I actually enjoyed it and I looked at the pictures inside books like The Hungry Caterpillar (this one I actually did know how to read) and even fell asleep for a bit I think... But the general point of this memory being mentioned is the fact that I didn't mind being told to go sit and be in time-out because it meant that I didn't have to sit in circle time with the other kids.

Another thing that I struggled with, and still haven't learned as a 25-year old, is how to ride a bike. Sure, a tricycle I can do. That's not hard. Those were easy growing up. But a bike? A two-wheeled bicycle?? That thing terrified me. My grandma and my mom tried to get me a bike when I was younger and going into 1st grade and wanted to teach me how to ride it and move me away from the tricycle, but no matter how they attempted to get me to learn it just didn't work. I tried to sit on it and I honestly think I was still too small for it, so it hurt to try and get my leg over the dang thing. That was the first thing that put me off: if it hurts me then this isn't fun and I don't want to do it. I tried several times and looking back, I definitely had anxiety over the whole situation that went unnoticed. I tried to learn but once I was sitting on it, I just had a panic attack. I was so sure I was going to fall over, and if I fall over then I'm going to get hurt, and if I get hurt then I most likely would bleed, and if I ended up bleeding then it meant I had to get a band-aid for it, and then it boiled down to two determining factors: 1) wearing a band-aid meant later on when the wound heals that I'd have to take the band-aid off and that hurts due to the tiny leg hairs I had, and 2) it meant I had to take a bath with a band-aid and that would make the band-aid fall off and if it wasn't healed then I'd have to get a new band-aid that would leave even more sticky residue that would hurt twice as much when pulled off.

Growing up, and to this day, I was and am a perfectionist and no one has ever seemed to notice. I push myself to do the best that I can and if I can't then I get frustrated and feel like I didn't do good, and if I didn't do good then I felt like my mom and grandparents were going to get mad at me. I taught myself how to write in cursive before I even left kindergarten but couldn't grasp for the longest time how to tie my own shoes, and this frustrated my family. Sure they were proud that I could write cursive so young, but why couldn't I tie my shoes? Literally. It took me until HIGH SCHOOL to figure out how to tie my own shoes, but as a toddler I could write in cursive.

I also have irrational fears. Spiders being the most stereotypical, I definitely would say its arachnophobia levels of fear. I can handle a daddy long leg, but any other spider is a no-go. I will tense up, I can't unsee where it was, I can't get over that it's there until I KNOW for a fact that it was dead. This was made even WORSE when I was having a bad time with my mom and we finished a movie and she went outside to smoke and I turned the lights on and an entire black widow egg sack had hatched and there were THOUSANDS of little clear baby widows all over the ceiling ABOVE MY BED. She didn't believe me and threw a fit when I told her to spray the hell out of the ceiling, and I ultimately ended up sleeping in the bathtub that night.

My second irrational fear is bees. Bees of any kind scare me. They act up my anxiety even when I understand that they won't mess with me if I don't mess with them. I will massively flinch if one flies by me, and that's just a docile honeybee reaction. If its a yellow jacket, a meat bee, or a wasp? I'm running. I'm leaving the room and hiding until someone kills it, and if I'm home alone when I see it then I'm staying in the bathroom with the door shut tight until someone gets home to kill the wasp. I cannot handle wasps. I flinched, dodge, and will make fearful whimpers if it flies to close to me when I notice it.

The third irrational fear is water, although its also partly from trauma. I already struggled with water. My mom for the longest time had me signed up for summer swimming lessons, but just like with trying to learn how to ride a bike, learning to swim didn't take either. Yes, I am a 25-year-old who does NOT know how to swim and am actually AFRAID to swim. It was already a struggle, even with my mom bribing me to try hard by saying she'd buy me a new Nintendo DS game if I did well that week (she knew I'd want a new Nintendogs game). This wasn't helped any when I was in my neighbor's above-ground swimming pool one day. It was his birthday and he was the only person who my mother let me visit the house of growing up, and he was 4-years older than me. So me, being a 5- to 6-year-old and him being a 9- to 10-year-old at that time was not the best match in my opinion now that I'm an adult. I was in the 10ft pool with my little arm floaties and the round ring floatie around my waist just vibing until he decided to coax me out of the ring floatie. I was sitting on one of the ladder steps without it on, it had floated to the other end of the pool, but I still had my arm floaties. Well, his adolescent brain thought it was going to be a funny joke to take one of my floaties to make me swim to get it. Well, he also knew I couldn't swim when he did this, and the end result was me panicking as I slowly started sinking due to now weighing more than the one arm floatie could handle and his dad had to jump in and get me out of the pool. This was the last time I swam at their house to this day.

Other factors in my growing up experience that didn't help me socialize were the fact I did have two older sisters, but they were adults by the time I was born. They are 19-years OLDER than I am. My mother was 19 when she had them (twins), and they were 19 when she had me (mom was then in late 30s when having me). So even though I did have sisters, I essentially grew up as an only child and so I don't have that actual sister connection with either of them. They were already out of high school and were working at Ross and had their own apartments. It didn't help either that on top of this, my mother was super paranoid and both she and my grandparents never let me go have play dates with other kids my age, and this was solely based on not knowing every minute detail about the parents of that child who wanted me to hang out. This led to nobody inviting me to birthday parties anymore or asking for sleepovers, which severely impacted my socialization skills. I wasn't able to have my first sleep over until I was in 6th or 7th grade when you should be growing OUT of that sort of thing by that age, and even then it only happened because my grandparents were friends with her dad thanks to being in the motorcycle business and my friend also being in the same martial arts class as me. So even when I FINALLY got to have a sleepover, I didn't understand what a "normal" experience was. I had never been to someone's house before (not counting my neighbor) and so I sort of was just... there? I enjoyed it, don't get me wrong, but I just... I didn't get it. But as I was getting towards 7th and 8th grade, I think that I yearned for it more both due to the lack of having it when I was little and because it also meant that I could get some freedom away from home, I wasn't stuck at home 24/7 if I was at my friend's house.

Something also that I have dealt with growing up, that I have only now recently found out is a symptom of female autism, is that I've had gut issues. I have suffered from GERD (gastrointestinal reflux disease) since... well, birth. Acid reflux has always been an issue with me, and especially as a baby. When growing up I didn't notice it as much during school, but its definitely noticeable as an adult now and I'm having to buy OTC esomeprazole medication in order manage it, and even then I'm taking MORE than the recommended dose on the bottle. Even then, the reflux would and does persist and at times I've gotten up every hour to drink milk to coat my esophagus so the acid has to burn through the milk fat first before getting to my throat tissue, and if that doesn't work then I resort to drinking a mix of baking soda and tap water. One cup with a small spoonful of baking soda. GERD isn't the only gut issue that I have, either. Doctors have tried everything that can to see why I suffer from chronic constipation but to this day have yet to come up with a reason why. In 2017, my senior year, at age 18, I had my first colonoscopy because of the constipation issues and that came back clean. I can go up to 2 weeks without a bowel movement and when I finally do, its like giving birth from the wrong hole. This is going to be a massive TMI, but it hurts. It makes the anus hurt, it makes me get hemorrhoids and bleed, the stool is rock hard and wont absorb any water, and when it comes out it more often than not is as big around as a tennis ball, hence the hemorrhoids. Think of a small child having this happen day in and day out with no doctor being able to identify WHY it happens. I would scream in pain and get told if I didn't stop screaming that someone would call the police thinking I was being r*ped and beat, so I'd be so stressed out when a bout of constipation happened. I'd be scared to scream out in pain but I'd be afraid of hold in that pain because I'd be told it was okay to cry and this and that. With that in mind, yes there was some trauma inflicted there on my family's part in threatening the police... but aside from that, with how bad this gut issue is despite all test results from birth to 18-years of age coming back clean and healthy, the only thing that makes sense is having gut issues related to autism. I have been listening to Olivia Hops on YouTube and for the first time tonight have I finally heard someone explain EXACTLY what I go through and having been told it was caused due to her autism causing gut issues.

Now, as a 25-year-old, I'm at a working age. I have a job as a dispatcher currently, but my previous job was as a barista. I became so irritated with people and while that's normal when you're in the customer service business and get treated like crap by both management and the public alike, it was so much more than that for me. I look back on it and honestly feel that I have been suffering from autistic burnout for the last 4 years because of how low my energy levels got during those 4 years. It got to the point where I was having breakdowns and got sent home from work on more than one occasion. I'd be too tired to do my job and slowly lost motivation for what I loved, which was making coffee. Now, as a dispatcher, I'm no longer directly in contact with the public. I'm in a small office scape with multiple monitors and cameras and the only people I really speak with is those in the security department and maybe someone from another department who goes through us to get a security officer to their location for something. The only time I am dealing with the public is over the phone if they're calling the casino for lost and found or asking about the current gaming promotions or if, God forbid, I have to call 911 and get EMS for an emergency.

Because I've had since July 2023 to finally breathe and relax, this is all has been coming to my mind. I've slowly began to notice little things that I do now as an adult that align with autism. I confided in two of my friends whether or not they ever has suspicions that I was autistic, as they are professionally diagnosed as such among other things. They both said yes, that there were instances where they considered the possibility but never said anything. This started my research into autism and how to presents in girls. With this, combined with the researched, I believe it all correlates to supporting the fact that I may be an undiagnosed autistic individual.

Today, I took online assessments and printed out the results to take to my doctor in order to hopefully get her on board with an official assessment and diagnosis. One test showed high results that supported the possibility of autism, while the other showed high possibility of being borderline or high-functioning autistic.

Because of this, until I get an official and professional diagnosis, I will remain firm in my self-diagnosis of being an undiagnosed autistic.

[blogjhm]

Mufasa: The Lion King | Official Trailer

[onejamtart]

Mufasa: The Lion King | Official Trailer

Peace, JW