#listen I know all the jazz about progress and practice and such

[magnusbae]

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[itsmarjudgeloveclassicrock59]

Jimmy Page pictured in the mid-'60s, around the time he took lessons from John who taught him about harmony and guitar chops in general. John and Jimmy originally met at London's Selmer music shop and became friends. As Jimmy would later explain :

"Well, I did meet John McLaughlin, who was working in there. He came down from Doncaster, and he was living in London. He was sort of introducing himself on to the Jazz scene and welcomed with open arms, as you can imagine. He was instinctively the best, I could tell. I didn’t listen to a lot of Jazz - or it was selective, what I listened to - but I could tell from what I knew that he was easily the best that I was gonna hear or witness in front of me. He was the best one I was going to see, that’s for sure. He was working there, really, to practice all week, because the only day that was busy was Saturday. That’s what he said. Fantastic! This bloke knows what he’s doing and he knows where he’s going.

I would say he was the best jazz guitarist in England then, in the traditional mode of Johnny Smith and Tal Farlow. He certainly taught me a lot about chord progressions and things like that. He was so fluent and so far ahead, way out there, and I learned a hell of a lot."

[yourslashersfinalgirl]

That One Training Arc | Chapter 2

Masterlist | TTMJWRAADL Masterlist

Key:

Japanese: regular text

English: bolded

Thoughts: in italics

I’m so awesome. Urokodaki finally acknowledged me!

As Urokodaki leads you and Tanjiro inside his humble abode, you can’t help but wonder what happens next.

"The demon-slaying corps... Their numbers are around a few hundred. An organization that is not acknowledged by the government. However, they still exist and continue to kill demons. Nobody knows who is leading this band of demon hunters... Still shrouded in mystery. Demon. Their main source of food, humans. They kill humans and then consume their flesh with no regrets. When they were first born or where they came from is still unknown. They have powerful physical abilities and even when injured, they can immediately heal themselves."

Wow, this is a lot of talking...

"Body parts hacked off will still have some sort of connection and they can grow completely new arms and legs. There also exist demons that have the incredible ability to change their body structure. If one does not use a blade of special quality, even after chopping the demon's head off, the demon will not die. The demon-slaying corps fight the demons with their mortal flesh and blood. Due to them being human their injuries recover slow and their lost limbs will never regrow. Even so, they still fight the demons for humanity..."

Urokodaki continues speaking, which you assume he’s giving Tanjiro and perhaps you too, information about what demon slayers are and all that jazz.

"I am a cultivator. Like the word describes, I cultivate swordsmen. There are a lot of cultivators who train swordsmen with a variety of techniques in a variety of places. If one wants to enter the demon-slaying corps then they must first survive in the final selection on Fujikasaneyama. I get to decide whether you two participate or not."

Hm, nice.

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After being accepted as Urokodaki's student, you took it upon yourself to learn how to understand and speak Japanese alongside your swordsmanship training.

Every day you would descend the mountain with Tanjiro, slowly learning how to avoid the traps placed alongside the path. Both you and Tanjiro were seeing a significant increase in your stamina. But as the days went on the difficulty of the traps increased, making them far more dangerous. 

Sometimes I wonder if Urokodaki secretly wants to kill us...

Once the two of you finally got the hang of going down the mountain, Urokodaki handed both Tanjiro and yourself a sword and ordered you to descend the mountain with it in hand. "We've been promoted Tanjiro! Now it's time for actual hell! Yay!" You give Tanjiro a very sarcastic cheer and Tanjiro gives you a concerned look. 

"Are you alright? Your scent is telling me you're worried... Are you nervous?",

"Listen Tanjiro, I still have no idea what you're saying so I'mma just say yes."

Mmm, we love barely understanding each other.

Before setting off you approach Urokodaki, "Hey Urokodaki-sensei, don't you think we look pretty cool?" He gives you a blank stare and pats your head.

You’ve fallen for my trap Urokodaki. I will now think of you as a father.

With sword in hand, both you and Tanjiro did unsurprisingly terribly, which took you both back to square one with the traps.

Rip the progress Tanjiro and I made up until now.

After an epic failure of a training day, you plop your behind down beside Tanjiro with a notebook in hand that Urokodaki had provided you. You ask Tanjiro what certain things were called since your memory was lacking in the Japanese department.

You were getting a hang of a couple of basic things, and with your recollection of your lessons with your reliable pal, Duolingo, your progress was small but just enough for Tanjiro to be extremely proud of you. "Wow! Your Japanese is improving so much [Y/N]!" A proud grin grows on your face as you say, "Hell yeah it is!"

I will do anything to protect his smile.

You continue practicing your speech, with Tanjiro occasionally correcting your mistakes. As thanks for helping you with your Japanese, you took it upon yourself to also teach Tanjiro some English, just so it’d be easier for the two of you to interact efficiently.

I wonder if teaching him English will fuck up some things in the future... Eh, I'll deal with it later... Maybe...

Right after your little moment with Tanjiro, Urokodaki came to remind you of your failure by having you and Tanjiro swing your swords to get used to handling them. 

You know what? These heavy-ass swords were meant to be held by my glorious self. 

Urokodaki drilled into your head how important form was, and how easily a sword could break if not handled correctly. He might have also threatened to snap your bones if you had broken the sword... But what do you know?

I'm just gonna pretend I didn't understand any of that.

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Today Urokodaki had you and Tanjiro attack him at the same time to try and hit him. Tanjiro was very hesitant at first, not wanting to cause harm to his trainer. You on the other hand, however...

I'LL SHOW YOU, YOU OLD MAN!

In the end, it didn't really matter since he threw you both to the ground in an instant.

Urokodaki's strong as shit, what the fuck, nobody told me he was THIS superhuman. Not even my launches at him worked...

Forcing yourself off the ground, although your body begged you to rest, you ran full speed towards Urokodaki with your sword held over your head.

Before you had time to react, Urokodaki had grabbed the collar of your kimono and flung you towards Tanjiro on the ground. "Oof-" Unfortunately landing on top of him, Tanjiro let out a pained gasp. 

"I'm so sorry Tanjiro!" Scrambling to get off of the poor boy you roll to the side of him and use your arms to lean over him. "Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!" He gives you a small grin responding with an "okay".

“Okay”? But I just flattened his poor body like a pancake.

You tilt your head to the right, displaying your visible confusion.

What is he talking about? No, no, no! Definitely not okay!

"It's not okay Tanjiro! I injured my sweet boy!" You say with a guilty frown.

Tanjiro merely looks up and lets out a chuckle.

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Today Urokodaki had you practice breathing and taught you how to do the correct forms.

Alright, so I’m making some progress at least! 

Though Urokodaki began to constantly punch both you and Tanjiro in the stomach for not "putting in strength towards your abdomen", Tanjiro sloppily continued to translate for you.

Tanjiro's learning a whole new language faster than me.

With a content smile, you think back over your progress since you and Tanjiro have begun training. It's been six months since you arrived in this world and met your little "family", but it's also been six months since Nezuko had gone into her mini-coma.

I know she ends up being okay, but Tanjiro doesn't. And I can't just tell him, "Nah, you don't have to worry, she'll wake up after we head off to the final selection!". He’d just question me... 

You sit next to Tanjiro as he places a hand on his younger sister's forehead, your eyes beginning to soften... 

It does suck knowing she's gonna be like this for another year and a half, I wish I got to interact with her more before this happened...

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Urokodaki once again increased the difficulty of your shared training with Tanjiro as if it wasn’t enough torture already. The old, but badass man had you descend the mountain from areas far more dangerous than the initial place he had taken you all those months ago.

Man, I wish we had just stuck to that old place. At the very least I knew what to expect...

The lack of oxygen in the area made it far more difficult to traverse, but somehow the two of you were able to manage without too many injuries.

"Man, Tanjiro! That was pretty hard huh? I felt like I was gonna die." With a nod of his head, he gave a tired reply "We still made it! I'm proud of both of us!" 

His hair's gotten a bit longer, I bet he can put it in a really short ponytail now. Well, maybe not, some of his hair might not fit in it at all.

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"I have nothing left to teach you." Urokodaki's sudden statement towards you and Tanjiro had startled you.

Holy shit, really?

A year after your arrival, you had finally finished the necessary training to be eligible for the final selection. Conscious in your mind was the fact that the actual hard part is awaiting you ahead.

I still have to break a big ass boulder after this.

"From now on the two of you will need to prove yourselves. Improve upon all the basics of which I have taught you." He beckons you to follow him up the mountain, taking you toward the detested boulder.

"If you can hack this boulder in half, I will allow you to join the final selection." Staring up at it, (yes you actually had to crane your head to look at it) you glare at the boulder before you.

I hate this shit already. At this rate, I'm never going to catch a break from this old man.

"[Y/N]" Urokodaki suddenly calls, which interrupts your thoughts, "Huh?", Urokodaki walks away without another word. "Dang it!" You give Tanjiro a quick hug, a determined smile on your face, "Good luck! You're absolutely gonna need it!"

Turning your back towards him, you miss the adoring smile on his face. "You too, [Y/N]!", he calls out enthusiastically. Forcing your legs to move you faster, you quickly make your way toward the direction Urokodaki was headed, "Urokodaki, you walk way too fast! Could you ever find it in your kindred soul to give a mere student a nice 5-hour break...hehe.. please?" 

All that leaves your teacher is a grunt as he stands in place. "Huh? Why'd you stop?" Little did he know that you were THIS close to face planting to the ground. Hesitating to walk out from behind him, you find a boulder of a similar size to Tanjiro's in front of you.

Ahh, so here's my worst enemy.

"You will be doing the same as Tanjiro." He gives you a head pat before heading back down the mountain towards his home.

Well, that's that then. Big rip to me. The old man didn't even bother saying "good luck". Eh, not like I need it. I'm pretty awesome and I will *definitely* collapse on the floor right after this. 

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Both you and Tanjiro continue your rigorous training after Urokodaki declared he was only letting you go to the final selection if you break the stupid boulders. Luckily for both of you, Tanjiro had been keeping tabs on your training in a notebook Urokodaki had given him. You spent your days continuously practicing what you had learned.

After a long day of improving your skills, you both sat against the boulder that Tanjiro had tirelessly worked to slice in half.

"Hey, Tanjiro." Your companion turns his head to look at you properly, "Yes, [Y/N]?" Taking your attention off the pebbles in front of you, you give him a sheepish smile, "I don't think I want to use the water forms as a demon slayer. I think I might want to make my own breath form..." 

His body becomes a bit more rigid as his head snaps to look at you, "Really?"

Becoming more nervous as the seconds pass, you release an awkward laugh. "Uh, yeah... I've been wanting to tell Urokodaki-sensei for a while now, but... I don't want to disappoint him." 

"Disappoint him? What do you mean? How could you disappoint Urokodaki-sensei?" Tanjiro's left eyebrow arches up, giving him a perplexed expression. "Well, cause, he, he spent so much time training me on how to use the breath of water forms, but in the end, I ended up wasting his time because I don't want to use those forms." You lightly bang the back of your head against the boulder, "This ain't the first time, but I feel like a failure..." Tanjiro's hands quickly make their way to your shoulders as he gives you a stern look.

Oh shit, did I fuck up? Did I make him mad? Please tell me I didn't upset him!

"[Y/N]. Urokodaki-sensei won't be disappointed in you. In fact, I'm sure he'll be super proud of you for coming up with your own breath style! Besides, even if he isn't, I'm proud of you for wanting to do your own thing!"

After you hide behind your hands out of embarrassment (cause damn it not everyone blushes “a bright red”), Tanjiro's arm wraps around you in a side hug. "If you aren't going to use the breath of water, what breath are you going to be using?"

You don't answer and Tanjiro gives you a questioning glance.

Oh shit, I actually have no idea.

"About that... I have no idea yet..."

"Oh. Well, that's okay! I'm sure you'll figure it out eventually. Oh, and if you need help, I could always help you! Or we could ask Urokodaki-sensei for some tips." Tanjiro gives you another warm smile, and you give your own awkward one in return.

Ah, how can you be so nice to me? Especially towards someone like me!

"Tanjiro... You really are too kind sometimes... But, I can't accept your help."

"Wait, why not?" His arm leaves your side as he instead ops to hold onto your hands. "Well, 'cause, 'cause you still have your own training to do. If you help me, you won't be able to focus on perfecting your own skills. I don't want to take away any of your time and prevent you from being the best you can be."

If I do that, you might end up dying in the final selection. If that happens, everything will be fucked and then I'll never forgive myself-

"No, I don't mind, really! Besides, fighting against someone with a different breath style could help me even more. It'll be like a new training exercise." You sigh through your nose, "Fine, but our main focus is going to be to slice those rocks, then help me make my breath style."

"Okay!"

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After another half year of trying to slice the boulders and attempting to create your own breath style, you noticed how anxious Tanjiro had become. You were once again resting on the ground, but instead of leaning against the boulder, you were facing Tanjiro with your back against a tree.

He's been going at it for a couple of hours now. I feel kinda bad...

"Hey, Tanjiro, you should take a break." 

Not hearing you, or ignoring you, he continues to assault the boulder in front of you, his breathing heavy as he becomes more frustrated. "I need to work harder! WORK HARDER!" His yelling startles you as he slams his head against the boulder.

HOLY SHIT, HOW DID THAT NOT HURT HIM?

"Shut up!"

A new voice interrupts Tanjiro's pity session, "Such a shameful display of a man shouting nonsense." Your eyes brighten up as both you and Tanjiro look up at the boulder to find your favorite peach-haired boy sitting on top.

OH MY GOD, IT'S SABITO! I CAN'T BELIEVE HE'S FINALLY HERE! I'M GONNA DIE! I'M SORRY TANJIRO BUT I'VE FOUND MY NEW HUSBAND, BYE!

"No matter how difficult and painful it may be, you shut your mouth and deal with it. If you call yourself a man," He rises to his feet, "If you are a true man," He jumps off the boulder, drawing his wooden sword and attacking Tanjiro. With little time to counter, Tanjiro struggles against Sabito, using the handle of the sword to block his attack. Using this as an opportunity, Sabito delivers a strong kick, sending Tanjiro falling to the ground. 

HE'S SO COOL AND STRONG, WHAT THE HELL.

Your companion lets out a strained gasp, "Slow, weak, rusty, your state is not a man by any definition." Sabito stands in place, not breaking a single sweat. Although you were slightly concerned for Tanjiro, your feelings of fangirling over the masked male overshadowed the worry.

He's really here! Ahh, hold on, lemme propose real quick.

Tag List: @rgtgt

[theindietrumpeter]

Commercial Trumpet Playing

‘Commercial trumpet playing’ wasn’t in my vocabulary when I was studying. As far as I was concerned you were either ‘classical’ or ‘jazz’ and I didn’t feel like I fit into either category, I was just ‘a trumpet player’. Years after I’ve left university most of the work I have done has been Indie, Rock, Pop, Country, even Symphonic Metal. It wasn’t the path I chose, it chose me and I am a self-professed commercial trumpet player.

‘What is a ‘commercial trumpet player’?’ some of you may be asking. Put simply, it is a trumpet player who plays music that isn’t classical or jazz… however, they may also play classical and/or jazz as part of what they do. There is a bit more to it than that but that’s the essence.

A commercial player will be able to switch genres and styles at the drop of a hat and, not only will they be able to play those styles, they will be able to do so convincingly and consistently. I think (although don’t quote me on it) that the days of back-to-back recording sessions, TV shows, radio shows and club dates have dwindled to basically nothing, however, for the diligent and consistent trumpet player, there is work to be had if you know where to look.

Before looking for the work though, you need to be ready. You need to know your genres and be able to play convincingly in those genres. The first step to playing convincingly is listening and lots of it. Create playlists on Spotify/YouTube/Apple Music of songs from each genre - particularly ones with horn sections in. Get online and see if you can find transcriptions of the songs so you can play along or, even better, create your own transcriptions as this is a super useful skill to have as a trumpet player. If a song doesn’t have a horn section grab some manuscript paper and create one or, even better, improvise one. I’m not talking improvised solos, I’m talking ‘on the fly’ pads, stabs and riffs. Give it a try!

In addition to listening there are a few books out there to help you learn about playing in different genres. I’ve used both of these a lot and think they’re great. As usual, no links because I don’t want to play favourites but get hold of the following:

Eric Murine, The Progressive Guide to Commercial Trumpet Playing. It’s downloadable, legally, for free. Murine covers Blues, Soul, Motown, Bebop, Funk, Funky Soul and Pop. In each chapter there are 2 exercises and a duet based on music in that style, a suggested listening list and there is a 14 week plan and a 7 month plan to cover all of the material. As it is Murine’s doctoral thesis (don’t let that scare you off) there is also extra information and interviews included too.

Tiger Okoshi & Charles Lewis, Berklee Practice Method: Trumpet. Available in hard copy from various retailers, this book comes with a CD and covers Rock, Blues, Blues Swing, Funk, Light Funk, Hard Rock, Bossa Nova and Stop Time. Each chapter has sections on Technique/Theory, Learning the Groove, Improv and Reading as well as a daily practice routine. The really great thing about this book is the fact that it marries up with the books for the other instruments so you can work on playing together as a horn section or even a full band. It’s a solid investment.

Between these two publications you should have everything covered in terms of genres. I like to complement these in the practice room with fundamentals written with modern playing in mind. Clarke, Schlossberg and Arban are great but they don’t really cater to the needs of the modern player. To help with this Clint ‘Pops’ McLaughlin has rewritten the Arban and the Clarke - both are available on his website.

It might be a bit of a placebo thing but I actually prefer modern books that have been written with commercial players in mind. I use The Beast Series by Matt Fronke, Modern Flexibilities for Brass by Scott Belck, Technical Studies for the Modern Trumpet Player by Pat Harbison and Randall Reyman’s Technical Drills and Duets for the Jazz/Commercial Trumpet Player to work on my fundamentals. I find they get me in the right mindset.

There is a pervading idea in the trumpet world that you need a certain sound to be a commercial player - bright, focussed and brilliant - and that may be true but you also need to be able to blend in with a section too, whether that’s in an orchestra, big band, pop band etc. so just be aware the sounds you are aiming for and think about how you can change it for different settings.

A quick note on gear because aren’t we all gearheads when it comes down to it…? You can play anything on any trumpet and get the sound you want, however, it’s not always efficient. Playing a 3 hour funk gig on a large bore horn would be a killer. Think about smaller bore horns for those gigs. If you’re not sure where to start Yamaha and Bach make ‘commercial’ trumpets - the YTR6335RC and the LT190L1B respectively - which might be worth having a blow on to see what works but remember that other horns can work just as well for you. The same can be said about mouthpieces… Bach produce a commercial mouthpiece in a variety of sizes and Warburton, Pickett-Blackburn and Patrick Mouthpieces all offer a range of ‘commercial’ backbores for their 2-piece mouthpieces and they are all available as one-piece mouthpieces too. Again, this is just a note, buying a horn and a mouthpiece just because it says commercial on it isn’t necessarily going to give you the sound you want or need… I am not saying go out and buy a new horn and mouthpiece combo. Take advice from your teacher or another trusted trumpet player before embarking on that journey.

My take away tips are:

Listen to a lot of music in a lot of genres.

Include the right things in your practice: different styles, sight reading, range.

Learn to write horn lines to songs - on paper and by ear. A good starting point is learning your pentatonic and blues scales. It will get you started but you will need to build on those pretty quickly.

[onehunnit]

no bc youth was itching my brain like tugging on it bc I know and feel in my bones it's an r&b track but I was like.... why can't I fucking place it and I had the biggest brainfart in my life (FOR. DAYSSSS)

guys. it's lofi r&b (or jazz or hip hop or chillpop idc what you wanna call it their venn diagram is practically a circle) .... that's why it was hard to place for me b/c of the nostalgic aspect from the way the track is mixed.... (and because I live to defy occam's razor, apparently)

the piano gets lost as the rest of the instruments begins to mix. The drum fill was impeccable. I can hear influence from nujabes (which you would not BELIEVE how long it took me to remember his name brah). But the real stars of the show are the trumpet melody and the moments where the track lets the drum fill breathe by itself. The ambient sounds mixed in also help.

while I don't think that youth uses a sample, like many lofi songs (esp. nujabes) it's about the vibes and the simplistic instrumental (not to mention the nostalgic chords, that's what a minor key and do to a girl UGH I love it sm) along with the melting-pot mixing that contributes to the lofi feel.

edit: I listened to an instrumental track and they 100% included stuff from sample packs. the yungi vocals distracted me lmao

yet, the simplicity and the low fidelity feel (bc obv this was mixed and mastered to hell and back) just adds so much to the meaning of the song and the feelings of naiveté/ nostalgia/ melancholy that many youth feel when starting to grow up and try and find their place in the world. It's hope that has been forced to take a step back. It evokes the image of laying on my bedroom floor, the open window allowing the wind to flutter my sheer curtains wile the sun sets in the summer between high school and college.

It's uncertainty, it's being scared, it's all the complex feelings that come with growing up summed up in a simple chord progression and drum beat.

Adults say that youthfulness, this one word/ Means sadness as joy and to enjoy the present, indeed.

[abookisafriend]

in the court of the crimson king, by king crimson: five out of five fire witches

this is the second landmark progressive rock album (after the moody blues' "days of future passed"). king crimson practically invented progressive rock, the experimental movement that would mix jazz, classical, and rock in various combinations, with this album. every track on this album is at the level of a classic in the king crimson catalog, except for the ten-minute "moonchild," which is a piece of shit.

the album opens with "21st century schizoid man," which is a blazing and disturbing wall of riffs about the horrors of war and modern society. after that explosion, we quiet down with "i talk to the wind," a melodic and gentle composition. the third track is "epitaph," a tear-calling track lamenting what seems to be on the horizon of our future. then, side two begins with "moonchild".

it's really a stupid song. it has about two minutes of melody and lyrics, then turns into a failed experiment in avant-garde music. there is a bit of faffing about with percussion, but it lacks imagination or direction. it's really as if they composed the world's perfect album, realised it was missing ten minutes, and then said "fuck it let's just make noise". that is probably what happened. king crimson is known for their extended instrumentals, both contemplative and driven, which explore the potential of rhythm and angular or melodic harmonies, making lasting musical statements that still have power today, and this is absolutely not one of them.

then you get "in the court of the crimson king."

"court" is a perfect song. it's about ten minutes long and wastes not a single note. the drama; the majesty; it delivers pomp without losing its dignity and power. you truly feel that you are in the presence of some glorious spirit embodied by the music itself. the lyrics are cryptic but, like "21st century schizoid man" and "epitaph," seem to be about power and corruption, at least at some figurative level. this is an absolute landmark. it is a song that everyone should hear at least once.

overall, the album is almost impossible to entirely describe. the combination of overwhelming grandeur and quiet, melodic contemplation create a balance that contributes to the effect of the music by not overwhelming the listener, giving them a chance to recover between the impacts of the heavier songs. it's a work of incredible skill and imagination, all the more impressive because nothing like it had really been done before. if you want to find out what the progressive rock movement was about, start here. i don't think you get radiohead's "kid a" without "in the court of the crimson king"; no genesis, no kansas, maybe no moody blues; at least, not in the forms that we know them. rock would be less artistic. go forth and crim.

[epacer]

Classmates

Doug Robinson, Class of 1973

Here's My Story

I was raised on Art Street--there's a good start in life.

My folks were loving and unusual people. My older brother Andy was a neighborhood rockstar and my hero. There was always music in our house because Dad owned a couple of bars in downtown San Diego and he was always testing out new 45s to see which ones would end up in his jukeboxes. So Andy I and got our fill of Marty Robbins, Ray Stevens, Ray Charles and then later The Beatles, The Beach Boys, The Kinks, Herman's Hermits and everything else that was happening at the time.

I started piano lessons at nine years old; Andy was already drumming in a rock band and I was learning drums from him as well. As it turned out, I developed a knack for picking up a new instrument and sounding better than horrible pretty quickly, eventually learning guitar, bass, vibes and of course piano and drums. My teacher, the lovably ancient Mrs. Foote (who would sit in my lessons with her Pekingese tucked under her arm while she wept loudly at how "beee-uuutifuly" I was playing) was less encouraging about my original compositions which began to emerge. (To all the parents out there--if your kid starts composing at nine, give her some room to develop those skills. She can always go back to practicing the Bach and Beethoven later.)

Frustrated, I quit taking piano lessons and started to practice on my own for hours every day. My first band experiences, though, were as a drummer. There were lots of rehearsals with groups like Bass Four, The Shylords, Kong and other '60s garage bands. I was a rocker for certain, although I did listen to Ahmad Jamal's beautiful version of "Poinsettia" over and over to try to figure out what was going on.

One day when I was probably 12, a young kid came up to me and asked if I wanted to sub for his jazz band's drummer. He twisted my arm by promising a payday of $5 or $10 for the gig, and the next thing I knew I was sitting in a rehearsal with four supremely talented young players: Nathan East on acoustic bass, Carl Evans Jr on piano, Hollis Gentry lll on sax and Casper Glenn on sax. It was the first time in my life that I'd even been the only white guy in the room, but I remember choosing not to feel intimidated. In fact, the vibe was so friendly and the laughter came so easily during setup that I had completely forgotten to panic about the fact that i knew NOTHING about jazz until Hollis--a handsome kid of about 14 with the poise and voice of an adult--called out the first tune (The Creator, by Pharoah Sanders). When I asked what I should play, Hollis grinned and said cooly "This is jazz, man--just play what you feel."

He didn't know it, but that comment probably jumpstarted my puberty and changed my musical life forever. We became a unit that served as the core group of the award-winning Crawford High School Stage Band, the Crawford Pep band and off-campus music groups like The Chapparells and Solid State. Jazz became the music of my heart, even though I never abandoned any of the other styles. They just slid over to the side and waited for their chance.

After focusing on the drums for most of my early teens, I was  eager to explore my piano-based compositions which were heavily influenced by Randy Newman and Rupert Holmes as well as the progressive rock of ELP, Frank Zappa and then Mahavishnu Orchestra and early Weather Report. Luckily for me, I wandered into the Crawford Choir room at lunch time (where I would normally compose instead of hanging out in the quad) and I heard someone playing piano in more or less my own jazz-rock style. To my shock, it was Keith Milne, a senior and athletic star on campus. I'd always figured him as a total square, but within minutes we were sitting side by side and composing the first of several wonderful melodies which were later brought to life by our excellent band The Twinkies, which also featured Cory Homnick and Paul Sundfor on sax, clarinet and flute; John Marotti on trumpet and flute; Mike Rios on bass; John Frawley on guitar and Gary Irvine on drums. Keith and I alternated on Hammond B3 and piano, and we built a nice reputation for ourselves in the San Diego area, appearing several times at SDSU's The Back Door, a folk club.

All along, I'd been volunteering my time at the San Diego branch of Synanon, an innovative drug rehab program that was blossoming into an intentional community where ex-addicts lived side by side with 'squares' like myself. I learned how to communicate effectively and to be empathetic with people from radically different walks of life. it was brilliant, eye-opening stuff and I used those skills with all of my relationships...and still do today, when I'm on my best behavior. In Synanon, I met lots of incredible musicians but none so important to me as Frank Rehak (frankrehak.com), a trombone legend who had played with Miles Davis, Dizzy Gillespie and others, even though his terrible heroin addiction kept him from achieving fame outside of the music world. He took an interest in me and my music, and when I decided to move into Synanon full-time with the plan to teach music in their kibbutz-style school, he laid out a 40 hour weekly music program for my own education, along with pianist and wicked Zen master Al Bauman.

I could not have had a more exciting or fulfilling couple of decades. Frank and I became great friends, and through him I met David Scott, Bruce Gilbert, Doug Hurt, Ken Elias, Wendell Stamps, and other amazing musicians who held down a chair from time to time in the 'house' band known as The Sounds of Synanon. We played jazz festivals and college concerts as well as doing recruiting tours in prisons and juvenile camps where the audience was exposed to the success stories of the guys in the band, mostly ex-addicts themselves. I learned to be a radio personality from the one and only Dan Sorkin; I learned sales and creative marketing through our in-house business that came to be known as AdGap (Advertising Gifts and Premiums). I also fell in love a few times, with my longest relationship being the special union between Glenda Alice Garrett and myself.

We survived the eventual death of the community, plugging onward with other ex-residents who were part of AdGap which became a standalone integrated marketing company. For over a decade, Glenda and I traveled to work with clients around the country but most often with our friends at Abbott Laboratories who time after time risked ridicule and embarrassment by choosing our promotional campaigns over those of competitors who were far more qualified on paper. But as it turned out, our common sense and irreverent brand of marketing did the job for them and we succeeded beyond our wildest dreams--thanks in part to our talented colleagues, our wonderful assistants Sande Millstein and Judy Malcolm, and our fearless leadership team of Brooks Carder and Macyl Burke.

We were fortunate beyond belief, retiring in 2001. Returning to San Diego to spend time with my mom after my dad had died, we set up life in the hills of Escondido and it was good...but something was missing. I had a marvelous trio--JAZZOOO, with Duncan Moore and Ken Dow--but those moments onstage and in the studio weren't really enough to keep a couple of ex-revolutionaries like Glenda and me excited.

We found what we were looking for when we went to central Mexico to visit an old friend from our community, Mayer Shacter. We discovered San Miguel de Allende, an arts-oriented colonial town in the middle of the country. Amazing musicians, artists, writers and other creative types had all made the decision to live 8 hours from the beach, 90 minutes from an airport, and light years away from the kind of convenience we had taken for granted our entire lives as residents of the US. We built our new lives in Mexico, producing fundraising events, concerts, parties, contributing to college funds for under-priviledged kids, teaching, building a dream house and studio. And we also battled breast cancer, which brought us back to the US for a full nine months of treatment. Thanks to the tender loving care of our Synanon friends, along with the loving and professional wisdom of our dear friend Jaime Aguet--we conquered that challenge. But a couple of years later, our marriage ended. We both found true love again, but sadly Glenda's cancer returned with a vengeance and she passed away in January of 2015.

Life goes on, if we're lucky. Today I am back in San Miguel de Allende and facing each day as the first day of the rest of my life. Up till lockdown, I produced concerts, played gigs, taught a little and composed and recorded new music at a pretty healthy clip. My 2019 release is called HYMN FOR HER and it's dedicated to all of the amazing women who have shaped and guided me with their feminine energy and love throughout my life. My 2020 release is START WITH WATER.

Things are starting back up now as of September 2022--new shows, new music, new life! *Reposted bio from Doug Robinson in his own words posted on dougrobinson.com website.

[nickgerlich]

I Want To Be Elected

There are only a little more than six weeks remaining before mid-term elections. There are many important seats up for grabs, not to mention governorships. Candidates and their marketing teams are going all out, not just distributing yard signs, but now speaking to us through social media.

But it’s not like the candidate adverts we see on Facebook and Instagram are  blasted out to the entire universe. No, they are paid placements, and they are placed with extreme precision based on user profiling. Believe it or not, your music preferences, the stores you frequent, the sports teams you support, TV shows you watch, and more are now being used as predictors.

We can thank Meta, owner of Facebook and Instagram, for making all of these data points available. It’s called “Detailed Targeting,” and more likely than not, your habits as a consumer, be it music, restaurants, sports, whatever, are reflections of where you stand politically.

To be fair, Meta did ban targeting based on interests in social issues, causes, or specific politicians. Apparently, all the other little bread crumbs we leave behind tell everything that the candidates want—and need—to know.

Thus, a conservative candidate will likely be interested in those who love NASCAR, hunting, listening to Ted Nugent and Joe Rogan, and dining at Chick-fil-A. Liberal candidates will seek out those with very different tastes, like craft breweries, progressive menus, EVs, and maybe some jazz fusion. Instead of shotgun advertising, this is audience-of-one.

It is interesting to note that the candidates and their marketing people do not see these ads so much as a way to sway voters across the aisle, but rather to reinforce established practices, and also to help raise funds for their campaigns. I would go so far as to say they might just grab the Undecided vote, though, or those in the middle.

Here in Texas, we are facing a showdown between incumbent Republican Governor Greg Abbott and his Democratic foe, Beto O’Rourke. I have not seen one ad for Abbott, but  have seen quite a few for O’Rourke. I guess the interests and so forth that Meta can glean from my posts and any other information I have revealed tell them I would be likely to vote for O’Rourke, as well as chip in a few bucks. Abbott, apparently, has given up on me.

There is always a danger when you rely on profiling, because you might just get it wrong. I’ll leave it at that.

But I do give O’Rourke credit for a very creative grassroots fundraising campaign, in which he asks for a measly $3-$5. He’s clearly positioning himself as an “everyman” candidate, and you don’t have to be rich to donate. He’ll take your money. Or, as I was kidding with someone a few months ago, they should have hit me with “Buy Beto A Beer.”

You might be wondering how all of the information is collected. Every time you check in at a place, you have most certainly announced your pleasure with it. Every music video you post or share does likewise. Your travels, the foods you eat, your vehicle, the books you read…all are indicators. And remember when you logged in to Spotify (or some other site) using Facebook? Yeah, you implicitly allowed to cross-sharing all of your data. Your playlists just became common knowledge over at Meta.

It is almost cliche anymore, but the truth has never been clearer: If you aren’t paying for the product (meaning social media), then you are the product. Teams of data miners are working overtime to figure out everything they can about you.

And if they can convince you to vote for their candidate, as well as send money, they will have done their job. Don’t want to be profiled? Be careful what you post anywhere. Or, just go back to listening to the radio and getting all of your news from the paper. And in a little more than six weeks, it will all be behind us.

Dr “Vote For Me“ Gerlich

Audio Blog

[leolo404]

🦊Astrology Observations Pt.2🦊

Hello everyone! Am back with my second astrology observations post. I hope you enjoy it🧡 Also I recommend checking out the blog of @venusfun , her blog is really fun and informative. She's also my mentor in doing these astro notes🧡

⚠️Sidenote⚠️: Please take this with a grain of salt for not all of my personal observations will resonate you entirely.

GIF: NCT 🧡 Taeyong

🦊A well aspected Jupiter/Jupiter dominant can make someone look cute and chubby 💗

🦊While a well aspected Saturn/Saturn dominant tend to look tall and have mature features.

🦊I noticed that most Aquarius moons or risings are INTPs or ISTPs base on personality types (MBTI)

🦊Venus in the 9th House/Venus aspecting Jupiter or Uranus/Venus in Sagittarius/Venus in Aquarius can indicate someone who likes to try listening to other genres of music (Example: You always listen to pop music but you are curious about listening to heavy metal or jazz so you try them out and see if it fits your taste.)

🦊And they tend to enjoy listening to foreign music as well. (I have one of those placements and I love listening to Kpop lol and same goes for my friend who likes listening to Japanese/anime music)

🦊Your midheaven not only shows your public life, social standing, and destined career but also your representation which is why if your ascendant is how you see the world, your midheaven is how the world sees you.

🦊Gemini and Virgo moons are the most argumentive moon signs and they tend to love debating

🦊Speaking of Gemini and Virgo moons, they also are pretty much the most anxious or neurotic moon signs, maybe because of the mercury influence

🦊The degrees really play an important role to your natal charts, they can really influence you and affect your overall personality. (Example: I have my Scorpio sun in 5° and as we all know, Scorpios are known to be reserved, secretive, and mysterious but with that 5°(Leo degree) this makes me more open, sociable, and extraverted)

🦊Scorpio and Pisces risings have the most alluring and magnetic eyes

🦊12th house stellium(especially if it's in personal planets) in a composite chart can show that there are hidden agendas or issues in a relationship. There can be many problems with decision making where one wants something while the other is hiding their feelings of disagreement. This can indicate of having a lack of stating their true feelings because both partners are uncomfortable with it.

🦊Leo/Cancer/Pisces moons can go to the heights of self love to the depths of self hate. It's either they can go from being very confident and optimistic or very insecure and pessimistic. No in between 🙅‍♀️🙅‍♂️

🦊Aries moons are more sensitive than Cancer moons because cancer moons are more secured and protective with their emotions while Aries moons tend to be very expressive about it.

🦊Base on my experience, the two sister signs that don't always get along are Aquarius x Leo and Virgo x Pisces. Both Aquarius and Leos have very different values, Leo wants authority and rulership but Aquarius is against it due to them being humanistic and have this savior complex? While Virgo is the most human sign and is very down-to-earth which clashes Pisces' tendencies for living in another realm or feeling the outside world, more like fantasy vs reality.

🦊Air placements are so good at technology and networking.

🦊Air Sun/Moon 🤝 spamming in their group chats with random lyrics, foreign languages, or emojis when bored

🦊Geminis and Sagittarius can just be as indecisive as Libras, it's hard for them to choose and prefer to have their options open for more opportunity.

🦊We are under the age of Aquarius and you can really notice that this era consists of progressions, inventions, humanity, technological improvements, science, and rebellion against authority. (This is base on research only)

🦊Taurus/2nd House placements are really great at handling their finances. They are always careful with their money and can be really practical with it so they won't be wasting an amount of money with unecessary things, they have a strategy on how to balance it.

🦊But Neptune in the 2nd house may struggle when it comes to handling their financial terms. Please learn to prioritize your needs and wants so you won't be struggling 😭

🦊Venus in 2nd house do attract money easily and have no problems when it comes to financial issues but they have a tendency to overspend it. This can also resonate to both Libra and Leo Venusians.

🦊People who have their Pluto in the 1st house may experience hopelessness and confusion with themselves. They tend to be struggling with their inner self and personality. I have this placement 😔

🦊Scorpio is probably the only sign who experiences death and rebirth and tends to experience transformation constantly. This is the reason why Scorpio's final stage represents the Phoenix, we self-destruct and destroy ourselves then rise again stronger and better. (Applies to Scorpio Sun, Sun in 8H, Scorpio Moon, Moon in 8H, Scorpio Rising, Pluto in 1H, 8H and Scorpio Stellium)

🦊Having Aquarius in the 4th house can indicate that you are most likely the black sheep in your family.

🦊Virgo and Scorpio mercuries are very observant and speculative, they are like detectives. They know how to pick up clues and are good at researching🕵️‍♀️🕵️

🦊When provoked, Taurus/Capricorn Mars can go physical and it's very hard for them to be angered so when they are infuriated it's very unusual and frightening to see them like that. Virgo Mars are scary as well when they are vexed, but instead of going physical they are more prone to verbal fighting.

Btw my astro notes may include some relations to personality types, random zodiac theories, and some Kpop gifs for promotion and aesthetics lol but not always. This is my way of balancing all my interests out for good💃💃 Also thank you guys so much for the 100 followers, 🧡 I don't even know if I deserve this 😭

[dameronology]

best friend {javier pena x reader}

summary: after finally calling it a day on a bad relationship, you turn to javier for comfort

warnings: mentions of alcohol + smoking, swearing

i was listening to best friend by rex orange county when i was writing this so i guess it’s loosely based on it? it’s definitely where the title came from. i hope you enjoy!

- jazz

Javier hated pulling all nighters - he especially hated them when it was Friday. Everyone else at the office was either going out to drink or going home to spend the evening with their families. The sounds of music and laughter that surrounded the outside of the DEA offices only acted as a reminder of how lonely he’d become; because, even if Colombia was the source of much of his grief, for others, it was their home. Their happiness and their life. Both of which, these days, seemed to be things he struggled to find

That wasn’t to say that his life completely lacked enrichment. Between the antics of you and Murphy, and the progress you were all making towards capturing Escobar, things weren’t all that bad. Especially you. He didn’t entirely know what your presence in his life meant, but it was a hell of lot. It felt like he’d finally started to see his life in colour when you were assigned the desk beside his. Your energy and your wit enriched everything, even if 99% of your relationship consisted of taking swipes at one another, 

If there was one thing he was grateful on nights like these, it was that the DEA apartment building wasn’t too far from the office. Murphy had clearly gotten home hours ago, because his car was in his spot and the lights to his unit at the front of the complex were dimmed. Your own vehicle was a few spaces over from Javi’s, terribly parked (as per usual) and barely between the white lines. At least he could take comfort in the fact that both his friends had made it home safe.

Or, you’d at least made it the front steps of the building. 

Javier almost did a double take when he saw you, a half-burnt cigarette in one hand and a completely empty bottle of wine in the other. You were slumped against the railings, eyes glued to the floor in front of you. He knew had it been a rough week - there had been a lot of bloodshed and not a lot of progress - but he hadn’t realised it had been that bad. And you would have told him, right? You told him everything. Literally everything. Probably more than you told your own damn boyfriend (who he hated - not that it was important). 

‘Jesus.’ Javi didn’t bother to offer you a greeting. 

You looked up at a him, a hazy smile playing on your face when your eyes met. ‘Agent Pena! How are you doing?’

‘You never call me that. I hate it.’ He muttered, dropping onto the stairs beside you. ‘Please don’t tell me you drove home like this.’

‘God, no.’ You snorted. ‘I drove home then went to a bar with Tom.’

‘How is he?’

‘Him? Yeah, we broke up.’ You casually shrugged. ‘So then I brought some wine and realise I left my keys.’

‘Oh, honey.’ Javi murmured. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘Don’t give me that, Jav.’ You elbowed him slightly. ‘I know you hated him.’

‘Guilty as charged.’

Javier stood up, moving the bottle aside and sticking his hand out to you. He didn’t exactly relate to what you were going through. Mostly because he didn’t get into relationships, or that he was always the one to end them. He hadn’t really known heartbreak in the conventional sense. Sure, he’d felt a pang in his chest when you first introduced him to your now ex just over a year ago, but that wasn’t loss. It was just..something he didn’t want to think about. It was a can of worms he’d been pretty good at keeping shut, and he was not going to start sorting through it at 1AM. He was far from drunk (unlike some people) but hours and hours of paperwork and chain smoking had fogged his brain. Right then, you needed a friend, and that was something he could be. Though you hadn’t shared all that much emotion together - mostly just careless banter and harmless teasing - your jobs had bonded you for life. You’d certainly witnessed a lot of twisted things, and it meant that you and Murphy were the only two people in the world who truly understood the kind of thing he dealt with. And, with all due respect to Murphy, you got on Javi’s nerves a fuck ton less. 

You tangled your fingers with his, letting him drag you up off the steps. Stumbling for a moment, you gripped onto his shirt for balance. It felt like somebody had taken a baseball bat to your head and to your stomach. Whether you wanted to chunder or faint first, you didn’t know. The only thing you could think about was the warm arms wrapping around your waist, and the feeling of Javier’s body being flush against yours as he pulled you against his side and guided you into the building. 

‘Where do you think you left your keys?’ He gently asked. He didn’t say anything when you slumped further against him, all your energy staying solely on walking and not falling. 

‘Thabar.’ You murmured.

‘Huh?’

‘The bar.’ You repeated. ‘I’ll go back in the morning. It’s fine.’

‘I don’t think you’ll be awake before midday.’ Javi chided. 

He held you there for a moment, fumbling about for his own keys, before kicking open the apartment door.

His place wasn’t bad, but it didn’t feel that far off of a show apartment, or the window of an Ikea. It was identical to yours, except you’d actually made yours homier. Javi’s, meanwhile, looked exactly as it had the day he’d moved in. None of the furniture had moved, and the television had probably been turned on a total of twice. Whilst your place was covered in photos and personally belongings, his was filled with bottles of whiskey and strewn leather jackets. He did have one photo hanging on his fridge; it was a Polaroid of him, you and Murphy, chilling out at your favourite bar. You were in the middle of them, practically hanging off their arms with a grin on your face. Javier would never let either of you actually know how much you meant to him. He couldn’t deal with the teasing. 

The next few moments were a blur of you dropping onto his sofa, hitting the leather with a thump. He tossed a warm blanket over you, before helping you kick off your shoes and taking a seat beside you. With the alcohol making you more brazen than usual, you didn’t think twice about curling against his side, and Javier didn’t think twice about letting you. He knew better than anyone that sometimes, a hug was the best medicine - so, he tossed an arm over your shoulders, pulling you towards him in a similar manner to how he had done in the hallway. The smell of his aftershave was gentle, mixed with a faint smell of cigarettes and the mint hand cream he insisted he didn’t use. It was just...Javi. And you loved it. 

‘Do you wanna talk about it?’ Javi gently asked, thumb rubbing circles over the bare skin on your arm.

‘I dunno what there is to say.’ You murmured. ‘I saw it coming. I definitely saw it coming but I just...I thought he was it you know. I mean, you probably don’t know because the one for you is whiskey and cigarettes-’

‘- is this an attack on me or your ex?’ He joked. 

‘Right, sorry.’ You peered up at him through hooded eyes. ‘Just hurts, y’know? Because for all his flaws, he’s probably as good as I’m ever gonna get.’

‘That’s bullshit and you know it.’ He reminded you. ‘That man never deserved you.’

‘He wasn’t that bad, Jav.’

‘Remember all the times you were in a bad mood because he was late, or because he didn’t turn up to a date?’ His brown eyes flickered, staring at the blank wall ahead. He didn’t mean to overstep, or to be protective, but it was just that it you. And that was reason enough. 

‘He was trying his best.’

‘If that’s his best, then he’s in trouble.’ He snorted. 

You groaned, flopping further down into his chest. ‘It’s hopeless. I’m hopeless. I don’t need a man to survive but maybe thats why I get through them so quickly.’

‘You’re not the problem.’ Javi said. 

‘My mum always said I was too much to handle-’

‘-  you’re not.’ He cut you off. ‘If they think you’re too much, then they’re not worth your time.’

‘There’s seven billion people on the planet. There must be someone, right?’

‘You don’t need to find somebody. You’re more than enough on your own.’ He said. (What he meant to say was: you don’t need to find somebody, but it’s okay if you want me). 

‘I know.’ You murmured. 

A silence fell over you. Javier wasn’t entirely sure what to say, because every time he tried to go over the possibilities, it kept ending with him declaring that he was the one you should be with. It made sense logistically. 

You didn’t like to be looked after, but you always let him. You both had the same job, so you both understood the struggle. The spark between you two was fucking immense and there was always something to talk about. It was hard to find a single reason not to be together - except for timing. And timing was kind of everything, especially when there was so much at stake. How much of it you needed, he didn’t know. That wasn’t even calculating in the fact that it would take Javier at least thirty more cycles of convincing himself to tell you before he finally took the plunge. 

‘Thank you for helping me tonight.’ You sleepily mumbled. 

‘Always.’ Javier replied. 

‘I’m trying not to fall asleep on you-’

‘- go ahead.’ He cut you off with a soft chuckle. 

‘I appreciate you.’ 

That was the last thing you managed, before sleep completely overtook you. This was new ground for your friendship - physical touch, deep conversations, Javi teetering dangerously close on the precipice of enlightening you with his feelings. The bottom could even have the best landing ever, or the worst. Was it worth the risk? 

Javi peered down at you, completely enamoured at the sight of you quietly snoozy, hand splayed out on his chest and eyes screwed shut. This could be an everyday thing. Domesticity and closeness and you. He could feel his chest physically hurting at the feeling; at the prospect of having you. Like, actually having you. 

He pressed a soft kiss to your forehead, brown eyes flickering up to the ceiling. That was when he knew in his very soul, the answer to that question.

You were worth every risk.

[feralphoenix]

NO ONE IS HAPPY WITH THIS: Leitmotif & Sound Palette In “Sealed Vessel”

whats UP hk fandom i am back with—“more picante takes?” WOW YES HOW DID YOU KNOW!!!

CONTENT WARNING FOR TONIGHTS PROGRAM: today we are discussing the hollow knight boss fight, and all that entails for all the characters involved. relatedly this post does not have anything nice to say about the pale king, so if you’re very protective of his character, you may want to skip it.

FURTHERMORE, i would like to iterate that this essay is working from a place of compassion for ghost, hollow, radiance, AND hornet, because every single one of them is miserable at this point in the game and doesn’t want the events of this boss fight to be happening at all. this post is not an appropriate place to dunk on ANY of them. if you want to do that, please do it elsewhere.

thanks for your understanding.

ALSO, AS USUAL: if youre from a christian cultural upbringing (whether currently practicing, agnostic/secular, or atheist now), understand that some of what i’m discussing here may challenge you. if thinking thru the implications of radiance and the moth tribe’s backstory is distressing for you, PLEASE only approach this essay when youre in a safe mindset & open to listening, and ask the help of a therapist or anti-racism teacher/mentor to help you process your thoughts & feelings. just like keep in mind that youre listening to an ethnoreligiously marginalized person and please be respectful here or wherever else youre discussing this dang essay, ty

NO ONE IS HAPPY WITH THIS: Leitmotif & Sound Palette In “Sealed Vessel”

A while back @grimmradiance​ made a lovely essay about comparing and contrasting Hollow’s moveset in their Hollow Knight and Pure Vessel boss fights and using what can be gleaned from the differences to speculate about their psychology. (This essay is currently their pinned, but I’ll attach a link in a reblog.) It is extremely good, and it made me want to look at the Hollow Knight boss fight my own self through one of my own areas of expertise, meaning music!

As we are all well aware, Christopher Larkin's soundtrack to Hollow Knight rules ass. There are two specific ways in which it rules ass that are relevant to this essay: Leitmotif, and sound palette.

Quick rundown for folks who aren’t familiar with these terms: A leitmotif is a melody associated with a character or event or mood that's incorporated into songs in different ways based on what's happening in the story. Undertale is an example of a game with an incredibly strong use of leitmotif that’s really only possible because Toby Fox is both the composer and the game creator, so he can synchronize the subtleties of the writing with music and scene scripting too.

The phrase “sound palette” can have a lot of meanings, but in this case I’m using it to refer to specific instruments or groups of instruments that are associated with certain characters. If you’ve watched Steven Universe and seen interviews/production commentary by its composer team Aivi & Surasshu, you’ll hear them talking about part of their approach to scoring episodes being how each main character is represented by certain instruments: Steven with the triangle wave, Pearl with jazz piano, and so on.

Hollow Knight is a small team project rather than a one-person show, so Christopher Larkin can’t go quite AS over-the-top with leitmotif integration as Toby Fox can on simple virtue of Team Cherry having to communicate what they want to him. But Larkin is Hollow Knight's sound designer as well as its composer, so he folds leitmotif and character sound palette together with striking use of stems to create a very immersive and cinematic musical experience that enhances HK’s story and gameplay.

This brings us back to the track Sealed Vessel, which has EXTREMELY tight and cinematic sound design and uses leitmotif and sound palette to not just sock players in the feelings during a charged and dramatic boss fight, but also tell us a lot about what Hollow and Radiance are experiencing emotionally, especially with the gameplay in mind.

So, let’s play the soundtrack version of Sealed Vessel (and some other stuff) and talk about what’s going on in the game during it!

You may want to get out your copy of the OST or visit Christopher Larkin’s Bandcamp page so that you can listen along.

LEITMOTIF & SOUND PALETTE

Before we actually get into analyzing Sealed Vessel, let’s talk about the involved characters’ leitmotifs/sound palettes so we know what we’re listening for.

Both of these things are easiest to identify when characters have a distinct theme song. Ghost does not. However, the main theme of Hollow Knight (see: the title track, Hollow Knight) is used as a leitmotif for the vessels as a whole. Most pieces involved with a vessel character include this leitmotif somewhere. For instance, you can find this leitmotif and variations on it in Broken Vessel’s boss theme. The Vessel leitmotif is led by a cello solo here, so we can identify that the cello is the central part of Broken Vessel’s personal sound palette.

When the Vessel theme is associated with Ghost in specific, it tends to be performed by viola and/or piano, as it is on the title track and in other places like the opening cinematic.

Moving on to Hollow, their specific sound palette is established not in Sealed Vessel but in Pure Vessel, their pantheon boss theme. (Sealed Vessel was composed first, since the Godmaster DLC didn’t drop until over a year after HK’s initial release, meaning Pure Vessel was reverse-engineered/extrapolated from relevant parts of Sealed Vessel. But we’ll get into that later!)

The major instrumental fixtures in Pure Vessel are choir and tubular bells (i.e., those dramatic vertical fellas that sound like church bells or a carillon), with some soft background instrumentation: bass drum, woodwinds (appropriately led by flute in the main melody’s “falling motion” - flute is the centerpiece of TPK’s sound palette), strings, and high/mid brass. Hollow’s overall sound palette has a very Christian choir-esque sound (in the Pure Vessel theme this is very idealized and saintly: soft and slow and tragic) and the beginning of their leitmotif has a very distinctive climbing melody that mirrors their ascent from the Abyss. The Unbearable Vesselness Of Being leitmotif is absent from the Pure Vessel track.

Meanwhile, Radiance’s boss theme is a very fun expression of her character upon which Larkin evidently went ham. Her sound palette is expressed through full orchestra (plus choir and pipe organ) that has a special emphasis on the bass part of the brass section, which does not see much use in the HK soundtrack. Her leitmotif has also got cute and distinctive touches: It’s full of triplets to match her tiara-looking antennae, and also has a repeated “fluttery” pattern of background sixteenth notes as countermelody, often spiraling downwards.

The majority of the piece is loud and bombastic and in a minor key to play up the “resplendent and terrible” wrathful aspect of herself Radi is pushing during this section of gameplay, a very quintessentially moth intimidation tactic: Try to look as scary as possible to keep your enemies from messing with you, since you’re not built for fighting. These blasts of intensity from the brass section match Radiance’s strategy of Overwhelm You With Bullet Hell Spam To Make Up For Lack Of Battle Experience/Poor Aim. But in between said intensity spikes you can hear traces of softer instrumentation and major key, little glimpses of a gentle warmth we can otherwise only infer from her backstory and the implications of Moth Tribe lore.

0:00 - 0:41 - OPENING AMBIANCE

The Sealed Vessel track begins with the ambiance of the Black Egg Temple’s interior: The faint tones of the glowing seals we hear when we pass by them, the only light in a pitch-black world besides the floor lighting up under Ghost’s feet.

Then a slow string tremolo fades in, slowly growing louder. In the track new notes join the tremolo progressively, while in-game a violin joins the anticipatory chord every time you snap one of Hollow’s chains. Which, may I say: A+++++++ sound design!!!!!! Rules ass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The tremolo reaches a peak in dynamics - all three characters present are extremely tense - and then cuts off to allow for Hollow’s boss battle opening, i.e. Radiance screaming. Team Cherry kindly demarcates each phase of the battle with a Radi yell.

0:43 - 1:39 - PHASE 1: HOLLOW ON AUTOPILOT

Phase 1 opens immediately with Hollow’s leitmotif in bells, but with brass, piano, and percussion backing them up; grand and tragic. In the background the bass section of the orchestra's strings flutter in a repetitive pattern of 16th notes, i.e. Panicky Radi Noises. The violins harmonize with Hollow's leitmotif as it climbs, but then join the rest of the string section in fluttering 16th notes, transmuting what in Pure Vessel is the flute leading Hollow back down (8th notes) to a slightly louder “a” from the backseat.

In actual gameplay, the only attacks Hollow uses are their basic nail skills. Building on grimmradiance’s analysis of the window their attacks provide to their psychology, and pairing that with the Pure Vessel leitmotif booming over the metaphorical loudspeakers, we can tell that this is Hollow reacting automatically to a threat the way that their father trained them to. Their conscious mind might still be making dialup noises at Ghost’s sudden reappearance jumpscaring them with murky childhood guilt and trauma, but that’s only let muscle memory take over. Slash, parry, charge and thrust. Their time spent at bee bootcamp (which we can assume because Hornet was trained at the Hive and Hollow’s form while nail fighting is identical to hers on their shared moves) has served them well.

Radiance, meanwhile, has frozen completely for this combat phase, and contributes nothing here except the anxiety of the string section.

As the strings continue to go “a” the piano (Ghost) and woodwinds harmonize on something between Hollow’s personal leitmotif and the Vessel leitmotif in the backdrop.

However at around 1:29ish, the key changes, building into an overall color change for the Sealed Vessel piece.

1:39 - 2:15 - PHASE 2: SHE’S AS SCARED OF YOU AS YOU ARE OF HER

In actual gameplay, the part of Sealed Vessel used for phases 1 and 2 of the Hollow Knight fight is the Entirety of 0:43 - 2:15, possibly because there’s no easy transition spot like there is between phase 2 and phase 3. But the changes to Hollow’s moveset are clearly tied to this specific part of the piece.

Phase 2 is where Radiance pushes herself past her freeze response and starts trying to hit Ghost. Hollow gains two attacks here, which we can tell are Radi because they’re often accompanied by her crying (a softer and more abbreviated sound than her full scream): These two attacks are the Infection blob blast and the Light/Void pillar attack that hits for a full 2 masks damage (which appear to be Radi’s take on Hollow’s Pure Vessel-exclusive moves, their grabby tentacles & silver knife pillars respectively).

In the Sealed Vessel track, this part of the piece is almost entirely Radiance’s fluttering. The strings start by following the descending motion of Hollow’s leitmotif but in 16th notes, then ratchet up to start spiraling down again while straying further from Hollow’s leitmotif. This section ends in a back and forth between hard blasts in a one-two-(rest)-one-two-three pattern and gasps of fluttering between, with piano and low brass building behind it. Eventually the nervous fluttering of the strings becomes less frequent between the blasts: Radiance is inexperienced with fighting and very very afraid, but she’s also FUCKING PISSED and prepared to defend herself.

The OST version of the piece punctuates the break between the first half of the piece and the second with Radiance’s scream.

2:16 - 4:04 - PHASE 3: “I’M HELPING! :)” SAID HOLLOW; “HOLY SHIT PLEASE DON’T,” SAID LITERALLY EVERYONE

Phase 3 opens with Hollow stabbing themself repeatedly, a movement pattern they repeat throughout the phase. It is shocking the first time you see it, and never stops being horrible and sad no matter how many times you do this part of the fight.

Here, Hollow’s mind has finally come back online after their own freeze response, and they choose to destroy themself and bequeath the duty of sealing Radiance to Ghost. Even if they can’t be the one to make their father proud, they can still make sure their directive gets carried out.

Radiance knows exactly what they’re up to and why, and she reacts to this by completely losing her head and mashing buttons in a panic. This is something we see out of her at the ends of her boss fights too, where she’s feeling too threatened and afraid to do anything but spam optic blasts. In the Hollow Knight boss fight this manifests in two horrifying-looking but easy-to-avoid new attacks: The Infection blob sprinkler and the ragdoll.

Ghost does not react visibly because we're in gameplay, but their horror and grief at their sibling’s choice is echoed in the BGM. The Sealed Vessel piece goes soft and sad, with Ghost’s associated viola leading the bass strings in the Unbearable Vesselness of Being leitmotif. At 2:51 the violin comes in with Hollow’s leitmotif, and gradually the choir appears in the backdrop. The ensemble’s overall dynamics build in a slow crescendo, and at the very end of this segment the other instruments begin to join in.

This segment of the piece is also used in phase 4, which occurs if you don't have Hornet’s help or miss your cue to Dream Nail Hollow. Phase 3 ends when Hollow reaches 0 HP; in phase 4 they are for all purposes already dead. But Radiance manifests an extra 250 HP out of terrified, unadulterated FUCK YOU FUCK THIS!!! even though all she can do is get Hollow to fall on their face trying to slash and ragdoll them around. The BGM continues to play as Ghost absorbs Radiance from Hollow and Hollow’s body loses its shape and dissolves into liquid Void.

And there’s one other place in gameplay Sealed Vessel (Unbearable Vesselness of Being) is used: The Path of Pain, the completely evil kaizo-level obstacle course which presumably featured in Hollow’s childhood training, and behind which the Pale King has hidden his last and most terrible secret—that he had realized on some level that Hollow was a kid with feelings who loved him and wanted to make him proud, and condemned them to death despite it all by using them to imprison and torture Radiance as he’d always planned.

The OST version of Sealed Vessel includes the music for both normal ending cinematics, so we’ll be looking at them too.

4:05 - 4:35: ENDINGS 1/2: NO ONE IS HAPPY WITH THIS

In the BGM for The Hollow Knight and Sealed Siblings endings, the Vessel leitmotif is played by violin, viola, and choir while the cellos and contrabasses—and then the brass bass section too—play a slower version of Radiance’s downward spiral. But once Ghost is pierced by the Black Egg’s chains and Radiance’s struggle to free herself ends in failure, the soprano and bass sections harmonize. The animation zooms out of the temple and the seal reforms. They are stuck together now until the end of Ghost’s life. Hooray.

The OST version of the track immediately segues into the BGM for Dream No More.

4:36 - 5:45: ENDING 3: THANKS, I HATE IT

Here, Hornet’s associated instrument, the violin, plays one long sustained note with a few notes of Ghost’s piano alongside as she wakes up.

TPK’s goddamn flute comes in at 5:00 with his leitmotif overpowering the backdrop Vessel leitmotif on piano while Hornet surveys the carnage: The temple has been destroyed, Radiance is dead, and what’s left of Ghost’s corpse is smeared across the floor. The Void may have taken umbrage with his horseshit and unceremoniously vored him, but the motherfucker still got what he wanted in the end; the Pale King has ended the Infection by completing his genocide of the moths, using the children he abused and abandoned as his proxies, and wasting two of their lives. Can I get a hearty THIS SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! in the chat.

Given that Hornet herself is canonically unsure if bringing the fight to Radiance is really a just course of action, one can only imagine how she must feel when she sees the cost of that decision.

Our only real moment of catharsis is in this shit situation comes in at 5:13, where the flute gives way to a solo from Ghost’s associated viola, playing the Vessel leitmotif as the Siblings curl up and sink back into the mountain of their corpses. Goodnight, kiddos. You deserved better, and so did literally everyone involved in this whole stupid boss fight.

This is where the OST version of Sealed Vessel ends. Even without the gameplay and story context it slaps, but now that we’ve taken a look at how this 5:45 piece is wall to wall misery and fear on the part of literally every involved character, hopefully it will have even more impact!

[stylesnews]

A year ago, the guitar was in dire straits. With songs like Travis Scott’s “Sicko Mode,” Ariana Grande’s “7 Rings,” Lizzo’s “Truth Hurts” and Panic! At the Disco’s “High Hopes” among the most consumed of 2019, programmed beats and horns were the sonic flavors of popular music. Sure, there were outliers — the Jonas Brothers’ “Sucker,” Maroon 5’s “Memories” and Post Malone’s “Circles” among them — but as the rock and alternative genres embraced artists like Billie Eilish, whose innovative music made the traditional band approach feel outdated, the days of chords and solos seemed numbered if not headed towards irrelevance.

Then came the coronavirus pandemic and things changed. Forced to perform from home or in rooms not intended for live music during lockdown, many artists went back to basics and out came the trusty six-string. For iHeartRadio’s “Living Room Concert for America” in March, Foo Fighters’ Dave Grohl played an acoustic Guild on “My Hero”; Billie Joe Armstrong from Green Day strummed to his band’s “Boulevard of Broken Dreams”; and even Eilish, with her collaborator brother Finneas, sang her hit “Bad Guy” accompanied by only a Fender acoustic. Other benefit livestreams like Global Citizen’s “One World Together At Home” event saw the Rolling Stones, Keith Urban and Shawn Mendes strip down their hit songs for unplugged versions. And in April, Miley Cyrus delivered an emotional cover of Pink Floyd’s “Wish You Were Here” on “Saturday Night Live” with Andrew Watt, himself a COVID survivor, on guitar.

At the same time, there was an electric guitar solo being heard on one of the most-played songs in the United States. Harry Styles’ “Adore You,” which has logged 1.1 million radio spins in 2020, according to Mediabase, and has been streamed more than 400 million times, per Alpha Data, features the playing of Kid Harpoon (real name: Tom Hull), Styles’ friend and producer, who handled the guitar parts for much of the Brit’s excellent “Fine Line” album, released in Dec. 2019. As it turns out, the melody of the solo, which also serves as the bridge to “Adore You,” was first hummed by Styles for Hull to emulate. “I did it with my mouth into a microphone,” Styles told Variety in October. “And then Tom sent me this video trying to get it to sound the same. He spent a couple of hours getting it.”

Why include a guitar solo when most pop songs would never dare? “I feel it’s kind of like ‘La La Land’ saving jazz  — only for rock ‘n’ roll,” Styles cracked when posed with the question. But more seriously speaking, Variety‘s Hitmaker of the Year added: “I’m not a spearheader of the movement, like, ‘Let’s bring back guitars.’ There’s plenty of times when [a song] doesn’t sound better with a guitar, and you don’t use it. But a lot of the references I grew up with have guitars; and it’s the first instrument I played, so it makes sense that I would like the sound of them more. I don’t think the guitar is dying. Guitars are great and always have been.”

In fact, guitar sales in 2020 have been robust. Music retailer Sweetwater reports more than 50% year-over-year growth in guitar purchases, with even larger increases during the peak COVID months of April, May and June “when customers most likely hunkered down to practice and create music after watching all of the streaming video they could handle,” according to a rep for the Indiana-based company.

The spike extended to other string instruments as well, which saw growth of more than 70% year-over-year in the price range of $299 or lower. The metric indicates that “new players are joining the fold,” says Sweetwater, which has been in business for over four decades and operates online. (Competitor Guitar Center, with more than 250 physical locations in the U.S., did not fare as well, filing for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection last month.)

Even in the virtual world, learning to play an instrument has taken off during lockdown. The platform Yousician, which provides interactive learning for guitar, bass, ukulele, piano and voice, currently reigns as the No. 1 app for music instruction while its sister product, GuitarTuna, is tops for guitar tuning.

Ask current writers and producers working in pop and hip-hop about their process and you soon learn that an acoustic guitar is often the beginning or the essence of a hit song. Among Variety‘s 2020 Hitmakers, the trio of Taz Taylor, Charlie Handsome and KC Supreme credited a guitar loop as the foundation for Trevor Daniel’s “Falling.” For Maren Morris’ “The Bones,” producer Greg Kurstin noted: “The first thing I noticed was Jimmy Robbins’ guitar hook; I wanted to keep the song rooted in that.”

“So many hit songs from 2020 started with a acoustic or electric guitar, whether it be a melody line or simple progression,” says songwriter and producer Jenna Andrews, whose recent credits include BTS’ “Dynamite” and Benee’s “Supalonely.”

And often, those guitar-based foundations remained through the finished product — for instance, 24KGoldn’s “Mood,” with its impossibly catchy sun-kissed guitar riff, and Powfu’s “death bed (coffee for your head).”

“I know it sounds kinda old school, but I love it when a well-recorded acoustic pops off on the radio,” says Sam Hollander, whose hits include the aforementioned “High Hopes” and Fitz and the Tantrums’ “HandClap.” “The bulk of my songs tend to be born on guitar. Without that foundation, the lyrics and melodies never really emote the heartbeat and emotion that I’m trying to dial in. There’s just a general warmth to it that’s hard to replicate. It’s like the warmest chocolate chip cookie.”

“I think the prevalence of guitar in 2020 has a lot to do with hip-hop producers using more emo and punk-rock influences,” offers Angie Pagano, whose AMP management company represents Tommy Brown (Ariana Grande, Blackpink) and Mr. Franks, among others. “Juice Wrld really helped bring this into the mainstream over the last few years. We’re seeing a great blend of emo and trap these days.”

Indeed, the year’s most-consumed hits leaned hip-hop — Roddy Ricch’s “The Box” landed at No. 1 on the Hitmakers list with Future and Drake, Jack Harlow and Megan Thee Stallion in the Top 10 — but even DaBaby’s “Rockstar,” the No. 3 song of the year, referenced a guitar in its chorus, albeit alongside mention of a Glock pistol. That visual may go against what Hollander calls “the Kumbaya vibe of the guitar,” but the song still features an acoustic strum at its core.

In the case of Styles’ 2020 successes, which also include the ubiquitous “Watermelon Sugar,” his producer further explained that, while aware of what was reacting on the charts at the time they were recording, Styles wasn’t about to chase the trends. Said Tom Hull: “We [thought], we can’t play the commercial game in terms of what’s happening right now. What we can do is make music that really resonates with us. There’s no blueprint. You just have faith. We love records from the ’70s and ’80s; weird prog rock music that might be a seven-minute instrumental; then you’re listening to Shania Twain, like, ‘This is awesome, too.’ The goal was to make something we will always love, and if it completely flops commercially, at least we know we love it. We have that.”

[fandomgodmother420]

Okay so I saw

This post ^^

And I was like

Wait wait wait okay okay hang on wait a damn minute-

Because this is cursed rite we all know this is cursed but somethin about it got me thinkin it got me thinking quite a lot and it’s the idea of Callahans character being deaf and like obviously the way it’s done here is bad but it got me thinking okay well what if you did it well? What if it wasn’t garbage? What if it became a super important part of the show?

I think I have a new favorite au now?

Okay listen listen let me explain right-Callahan would still be a side character to the side characters but first things first he’d talk using sign language and literally the first thing that he signs when people try and talk to him is that he’s deaf. He also wouldn’t be able to understand people who talk to him, they’d have to either sign, write something down, or be super expressive. (Ik a lot of deaf people read lips but I feel like in media with deaf people almost all the time they like fully rely on lip reading and their almost superhumanly good at it and idk I think it would be cool for a deaf character to just not lip read-hardly ever) so now the fact that he’s deaf isn’t just something that you can drop in interviews for brownie points. Still, he’s hardly ever there and he’s not really a part of the story and that’s just kind of annoying and for a while it seems like that’s just how it’s gonna be, just one background background deaf character who’s pretty cool but who we almost never get to see...

But the explosions that went off during the pogtopia manburg war where pretty fuckin loud

And Quackity was right on top of them. He might’ve lost a cannon life to them-it’s kinda up for debate but for the purpose of the au we’re gonna say he did, because losing a cannon life affects your body. Your body changes to suit how you died-you get scars from losing a cannon life.

Here’s where it gets good

One of the next episodes post war is 100% Quackity focused and he wakes up in a bed and he’s like welp lets just hope I’m not as bad off as Tubbo was. There’s no rustling noise when he moves the sheets and blankets to look at himself, at this point the viewer might realize there’s no music in the background either, there’s no ambient noises from outside. Quackity sees he doesn’t have visible scaring anywhere and he’s like that’s weird but good for me? I guess? He walks outside and his footsteps don’t make any noise. Tubbo runs up to him and starts talking-except he’s not making any noise either. His mouth is moving but there’s no sound coming out of it. Both quackity and the viewer are currently experiencing what’s going on in 100% silence and Quackity starts to panic. A scar would’ve been fine, a limb he can live without, but this??? He can’t hear! He can’t hear anything! Fuck is he supposed to do now?

He runs to Sapnap and Karl, they’re not dating yet but they make him feel safe and he doesn’t know where else to go or what to do and Sapnaps like “I know a guy” but neither the audience nor Quackity hears him say it. His mouth moves but again, no sound. Nothing. Still he makes it clear that he has an idea and that he’ll be right back. Mans fuckin books it to Callahan and after a bit of frantic gestures and sloppy sign language because ya know of course Sapnap did try to learn sign to talk to Callahan at some point he just doesn’t practice nearly enough, Callahan comes over to Quackity and starts teaching him and Karl ASL and gives Sapnap a much needed review course.

That’s it. That’s the episode. An entire episode that’s 100% silent with no subtitles, that’s just Quackity learning how to function without being able to hear. In the places where Callahan can’t help Sapnap and Karl come in. Tubbo gets in on it too since he’s deaf in one ear ever since the festival. (Quackitys like damn cheif I didn’t even kno that and Tubbo admits to thinking it was just him being in shock for a long time until a bee flew around his ear for 20 minutes straight a week after the festival had happened and he didn’t know it was there until Tommy asked if he was gonna name it.) Quackity learns how to talk when he can’t hear himself speaking, how to read lips, what music is like when you can’t hear it, how to speak sign language, all that jazz.

One of the things about being deaf that scares the shit out of Quackity is not being able to hear people sneaking up on him and Tubbos like “oh you need a spotter” and Quackity makes it clear that he has no idea what the fuck that means. So Tubbo explains “a spotter, I don’t know if they actually have a different name but I call them that cuz they cover your blind spot. They’re like your eyes and ears where you don’t have any. That way nobody can sneak up on you.” If the audience is particularly observant they’ll realize that ever since the festival Tommy has always stood on Tubbos right, witch is where Tubbo had gotten scarred. (Later on after Tommy’s exiled Quackity and sometimes Fundy become the ones to cover Tubbos right, but Tubbo is more clearly on constant high alert than he used to be. On a few days like the one before the capturing techno and the one before the second festival he’s straight up jumpy and he hates it) So Quackity of course has a lot of questions is this is pretty important. “well how do I know who I should get to be my spotter? Do they need like training or something? Should I just get a service dog? ???” And Tubbos like “No. Well-maybe that’s the proper way to do it but I’d just go with someone I trust my life with-whoever makes you feel safest, go with that” and Sapnap and Karl start laughing like idiots because Quackity IMMEDIATELY grabs them-like Tubbos barley finished his sentence and Quackitys like ah yes

The hardest part is preserving Quackitys ability to speak Spanish, because he’s the only one who knows it so Karl Sapnap and Tubbo can’t tell him weather he’s pronouncing it right or not and none of them know Spanish sign language. Hell Karl and Tubbo didn’t even know Spanish sign language existed until that day. After a bit of panicking Sapnap is like “wait I know a guy” and Quackity can actually tell what he’s saying this time. (Woo parallels) So sapnap and Co. go to George who’s king now and has access to all of Erets king stuff. Turns out Erets castle has a whole shelf of translation guides for different languages and their sign language counterparts. She kept them for diplomacy reasons. It’s much harder to learn without Callahan teaching it, but progress is made and the gang decides they’ll keep working on learning it together. There’s still the problem of Quackity not being able to speak Spanish though, they end up going with does Quackity sound like how he normally does rn? for figuring out if he’s pronouncing things right. Karl and Sapnap are surprisingly good at being able to tell.

But here’s the best part rite:

So after this episode Quackity, Karl, Sapnap, Tubbo, and obvs Callahan all know sign language-they don’t all know it perfectly nobody’s gonna master it in a day but they’re working on it. And so now in later episodes in addition to the gang talking in sign language a lot when they’re the focus of a scene, you can make them talk to eachother in sign language while other stuff is going on!! No subtitles to translate or draw attention to it, some people might not even notice its happening, but if you watch them you can see them signing to eachother. You could add so many convos and lore and secrets and the best part is if the audience wants in on it they also have to learn sign language!!

Literally just-oh my god it would be the coolest thing okay like immagine:

Ranboos doing his dramatic speech to everyone. Y’all know the one-the one before doomsday after Tommy gets out of exhile. So like Ranboos doing his bit and Fundy and Nikki are arguing with him and :0! what’s this? Look in the background and Tubbo and Quackity are signing to eachother, Quackitys angry and Tubbo is somehow angrier and you watch them more closely to see what the hell is going on and realize (with your sign language knowledge)-they’re fighting about executing Ranboo.

LIKE HOW FUCKING COOL WOULD THAT BE HOLY SHIT

Anyways I have so many headcannons for this now I think it’s the coolest thing if there’s like a tag? Or something? For this thatd be so fuckin cool if there isn’t I feel like I should make one but idk what to call it ion know man I just think this is poggers as hell. To think it all sprung from someone making a DreamSMP as a garbage riverdale show joke

[whumpzone]

Tomas and Rowe - Part 5

if you saw me last week saying I’m going to upload every friday.... no you didn’t. also- this is the last bit of comfort for a while!! I promise!

Masterpost

taglist: @sola-whumping @just-another-whumper @oceanthesarcasamfox @looptheloup @briars7 @black-polarf @zipadeedooda-drabbles @just-a-raccoon-with-wifi @rosesareviolentlyread @thingsthatgo-whump-inthenight @jazz-0307 @kestrelsparverius @whumpsy-daisies @whumpersworld (thank you all! if you want to be added or removed just ask!)

CW: pet whumpee, aftermath of abuse

-

Rowe’s eyes fluttered open. The small, audibly ticking clock by his bed told him it was quarter past seven. He read it with a small dose of pride- it had taken months, but he had taught himself to tell the time a couple of years ago. He felt odd, twitchy, like he had forgotten something important.

And then it came to him, all at once. His nose was broken. He had duties to perform for his Master. He had slept through the whole night.

The whole night?

He had had a nightmare, of that he knew. Rowe didn’t care to remember what it was about. He didn’t fight it as his waking mind let the details slip away.

Master Tomas had let him sleep, even as he screamed. Kindness beyond understanding. What if- what if it’s not an act-

Rowe quickly stamped out that train of thought. His first task was to make his bed, get himself looking presentable, and then go downstairs and help himself to breakfast.

Once Rowe had prepared his bowl of cereal, he realised that Master Tomas wasn’t around to force Rowe to sit at the table. Kneeling, he tucked himself in against a wall, careful not to let his back touch it. His skin was still raw with whip marks and cuts, despite the bandages Master Tomas had wrapped around it.

Something clattered by the front door, making him jump. Padding over, barefooted, he saw that it was an envelope. His eyes brushed over the letters as he picked it up. He couldn’t want things, he knew that. He knew that. But sometimes- sometimes he hoped that he’d be given a task that required him to read, and someone would teach him how.

Fuck do you need to read for? his old master had said, on the one occasion Rowe had forgotten his place and mentioned it. I like knowing you can’t read my post, Pet. It’s in my interest to keep you dumb.

Rowe put the letter on the kitchen table. His nose ached. He ate his cereal and tried to stop his thoughts running. Rowe was grateful, so grateful for his chores, but he still felt acutely aware of the lack of rules Master Tomas had given him.

When Rowe broke a rule around his old master, he would know about it immediately, a kick or a punch or a swing knocking the lights out of him. But here- Master Tomas was unclear. Did he enjoy making Rowe wait, unsure of his every move, dreading a punishment that could come at any time? He could be breaking so many rules right now, and he wouldn’t even know.

His stomach twisted and he instinctively went to grab his mouth, but fear had made his hand unsteady and he smacked his palm into his nose instead. His mind went white as he doubled over, moaning in pain like an ill-trained, unwanted, damaged Pet. He froze and listened for any signs that he had disturbed Master Tomas, but nothing came.

How much longer could he take this? The list of indulgences that Rowe would have to pay for was growing, and growing, and Master was always so casual about them, and Rowe just wanted to take the punishment and be good. He was so confused and the stress was unbearable when he was left alone with his thoughts. Maybe Master was just waiting for Rowe to break? Maybe if Rowe crawled to him, begging to be hurt, pleading to be beaten raw, Master would be satisfied, and this new and unusual game could be over. Maybe.

. . .

Tomas rolled himself out of bed at eight o’ clock. When he walked into the bathroom, he was happy to see that the mirror was still faint with steam. Rowe had had a shower. It felt surprisingly normal already, having this other person in his house. Looking at the dripping showerhead, he couldn’t help but picture Rowe washing his hair, the bruises on his neck hidden as shampoo ran down him. Unseen, not trembling at Tomas’s feet, able to exist as a person without worrying about what his ‘Master’ thought. It made him feel bittersweet.

He found Rowe dusting the DVD shelf that sat beside the TV, seemingly lost in thought. Tomas picked up the letter and made a point of rustling it. Rowe turned around in surprise and dropped to his knees in an instant, his forehead on the floor.

‘’Master. Good morning. I ap-apologise, I didn’t hear you come downstairs.’’

‘’Good morning. That’s alright- people tell me I tend to walk quietly.’’

‘’M-master, I slept the whole night. Thank y-you for this kindness. I-I-I’m not worthy of it.’’

‘’You are, Rowe. You deserve to rest. Have you eaten?’’

‘’Yes, Master. I- I had cereal.’’

Tomas smiled at this detail. ‘’Good. That’s really good. You can stand back up, Rowe.’’

Rowe unfolded himself fluidly and Tomas, remembering how well it had gone down the last few times he’d done it, reached a hand to the top of his head. Rowe flinched, going stiff all over. Tomas withdrew his hand in surprise and Rowe’s eyes widened.

‘’I-I, I’m sorry, I d-didn’t mean t-to-‘’

‘’It’s okay, it’s okay. You’re still- you’re still being good,’’ Tomas tried hopefully. It didn’t exactly cheer him up, but it confused him enough for him to calm down.

‘’M-master?’’

‘’You’ve had breakfast, you’re washed. You picked up that letter. I’m very pleased.’’

‘’Th-thank you, Master…’’

‘’Cup of tea?’’

‘’Y-yes, of course, Master!’’ Rowe said, hurrying over to the kettle. Tomas had been offering him one but…. this worked too. No point stopping him now. ‘’Make yourself some too, if you want it, Rowe. I’ve no shortage of teabags. One sugar for me, please.’’

‘’Of course, Master.’’

Tomas leaned on the kitchen counter and flapped his letter around idly. It was from the bank. Rowe stood awkwardly, waiting for the kettle to boil. He seemed especially on edge this morning, Tomas noted. Probably his nose giving him grief.

‘’Hey, Rowe, come here please.’’

Rowe obeyed, and Tomas held the envelope out so he could see it. ‘’That’s my first name, there. T-O-M-A-S.’’ He sounded it out, pointing to every letter. Rowe nodded, captivated. ‘’You try.’’

Rowe held out a finger, gently running it under the letters. ‘’T..o..m..a..s.’’

‘’Well done! You just read your first word.’’

Rowe’s breath caught, and for a second Tomas thought he had scared him somehow, but when he looked he saw that Rowe was smiling. ‘’Thank you, Master, thank you, thank you.’’

‘’Shall I teach you how to read?’’

‘’Y-yes! Yes, please. W-why though, Master?’’

‘’Why what?’’

‘’Why teach me to read, Master? I-is there something you need of me that requires it?’’

‘’No, no, I mean, maybe in the future? I just figured I would, since you clearly want to learn.’’

‘’I’m not allowed wants, Master,’’ Rowe said quietly.

Tomas decided to challenge him on this one. Maybe it would help change his train of thought. ‘’Who says?’’

It worked! Sort of. Rowe looked stumped. ‘’P-pets can’t have wants. I don’t deserve them.’’

‘’Did I say that?’’

‘’No, Master…’’

‘’Well, then. It might have been a rule your old master enforced, but do you see him here? I don’t. You can have wants. It’s only natural.’’

‘’I… I see. Of course, Master.’’

‘’Say it after me: I want to learn to read.’’

‘’I w- I want to learn to read, Master.’’

‘’Well, it’s lucky that you have me here to teach you then, right?’’ said Tomas cheerfully, giving Rowe a big smile. He mirrored it weakly, but it was a smile nonetheless. Tomas was overjoyed. This felt like progress.

. . .

All thoughts of begging for his punishment had vanished when Rowe realised Master Tomas was in the room. Master- who was strong enough to pick him up, who stood a head taller than Rowe, whose long stares were enough to make Rowe’s heart pound. Rowe was too weak, he realised. Too scared to offer himself up, place himself willingly at Master’s mercy and plead to be hurt. The thought of it as he looked at Master Tomas took his legs from him, and he thought fast and nosed the floor in submissive greeting. If he could just keep his Master happy for now…

Master Tomas seemed cheerful, Rowe noted. He didn’t ask for any kind of penance for the night’s sleep, but at this point it didn’t surprise Rowe. Master Tomas’s voice was so warm, and gentle, and he let himself be soothed by it as he stood back up.

He shouldn’t have flinched- he really should not have flinched. Master Tomas seemed to like patting Rowe’s head, and the first few times it had felt so nice, and pulling away from Master’s touch was unimaginably disrespectful. The kind of behaviour that would get a Pet thrown out. But it had reminded him so suddenly of the way his hair had been grabbed before his head was smashed into the bedframe. Not that was any excuse. Not that Rowe hadn’t completely deserved to get his nose broken. He was such a failure. ‘’I-I, I’m sorry,’’ he begged pathetically, ‘’I d-didn’t mean t-to’’

‘’It’s okay, it’s okay. You’re still- you’re still being good,’’ Master Tomas said. Rowe couldn’t work any of it out. He surely was not being good, so why- why-

‘’M-master?’’

‘’You’ve had breakfast, you’re washed. You picked up that letter. I’m very pleased.’’

Rowe’s heart stopped pounding quite so hard at this. An explanation always ordered his thoughts. Master was so generous. He still couldn’t quite stamp out the stammer as he replied, ‘’Th-thank you, Master…’’

‘’Cup of tea?’’

‘’Y-yes, of course, Master!’’ Rowe said, practically jumping to attention. A task, he could do this, he could make Master Tomas happy, he could be good. He gripped the kettle firmly as he filled it, ignoring the way it made the burns on his stomach throb. Ignoring the worry this might be a trap, Master might hold Rowe down and pour the boiling water over his skin, ignoring all of that because it was a very simple task and if Rowe didn’t want to get thrown out he had better sort himself out and start behaving right now.

‘’Make yourself some too, if you want it, Rowe. I’ve no shortage of teabags. One sugar for me, please.’’

‘’Of course, Master.’’

Rowe had never had tea before. He decided to try it how Master liked it, spooning sugar into both mugs. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Master looking at his letter.

‘’Hey, Rowe, come here please.’’

Rowe walked over, about to kneel when he realised Master was showing him the letter. Please, please don’t make fun of me, don’t make me try to read, you know I can’t- ‘’That’s my first name, there. Tee-Oh-Em-Ay-Es.’’

Rowe blinked. The letters suddenly had names, and sounds. Master Tomas pointed to each in turn. ‘’You try.’’

There was something like excitement rising in his chest. For once he didn’t worry about why Master was doing this. ‘’T..o..m..a..s.’’

‘’Well done!’’ cried Master, and it sounded so genuine, ‘’You just read your first word.’’

Rowe gasped. A peculiar feeling was flooding his chest; it felt warm, and urgent, and it made Rowe actually smile. ‘’Thank you, Master, thank you, thank you.’’

‘’Shall I teach you how to read?’’

‘’Y-yes!’’ he squeaked, far too loudly for a common Pet, ‘’Yes, please. W-why though, Master?’’

‘’Why what?’’

‘’Why teach me to read, Master? I-is there something you need of me that requires it?’’

No matter what it was, Rowe would do it. Master was being so kind. He felt so obedient, so obliged to him. He’d do anything.

‘’No, no, I mean, maybe in the future?’’ Master didn’t owe him an answer, of course he didn’t. ‘’I just figured I would, since you clearly want to learn.’’

‘’I’m not allowed wants, Master,’’ Rowe said immediately. If this was a test, he could do it right. He knew what Master wanted to hear.

Or, at least, he thought he did. ‘’Who says?’’

Rowe couldn’t answer this. It was just how things were! Everyone knew that! ‘’P-pets can’t have wants. I don’t deserve them.’’

‘’Did I say that?’’

‘’No, Master…’’ Was Rowe being disrespectful? This was strange and new and unnerving.

‘’Well, then. It might have been a rule your old master enforced, but do you see him here? I don’t. You can have wants. It’s only natural.’’

Rowe’s brain hurt slightly as it recalibrated. Rowe could want things here. Okay. He could do that. This was a rule, and Rowe could stick to it. ‘’I…I see. Of course, Master.’’

‘’Say it after me: I want to learn to read.’’

Rowe obeyed, even though it went against everything he’d been taught. If he were with his old master he’d have been belted before he even finished the sentence. But he wasn’t. He belonged to Master Tomas now. ‘’I w- I want to learn to read, Master.’’

‘’Well, it’s lucky that you have me here to teach you then, right?’’ Master said brightly. Rowe met his eyes. Master had such a sweet smile- toothy, with no malice behind it. Rowe couldn’t help but smile back. He was allowed to want things! It didn’t make sense, but nothing seemed to make sense here. Rowe struggled to find an angle in which having desires would benefit Master Tomas, but a rule was a rule. The kettle boiled.

Rowe found that he rather liked tea.

. . .

[Hey Kas, I’m gonna go out soon to get some groceries n I don’t really feel okay leaving Rowe home alone. Are you free?? Huge favour I know but if you could come over while I’m out I’ll be rly grateful x]

[What time?]

[In like thirty mins??]

[Sure no prob]

[Thank you!! I owe you one! x]

[morceid]

Beating the Dead Swan

Chapter 2: lonely angels wrapped in silk

read on ao3

<- chapter one

Summary: Penelope gives the profiles of Camille and other victims like her to the team.

Word Count: 1928

Category: angst

Content Warnings: general criminal minds murder stuff

A/N: noting here that this fic takes place in 2005 when criminal minds starts and spencer is 24

It started out a simple equivocal death investigation. Seven women had been found in their apartments, dead with their wrists slashed. Unfortunately not an unusual occurrence, Detective Conner thought nothing of it. Upon trying to contact the employers of each victim, Conner found they all worked for the same people, and decided to mark them down for further investigation just in case. When the fourth victim was found in her father’s beach house just outside of Virginia, the case became federal and handed to the FBI.

The case, being low priority, was given to Derek Morgan to monitor the progress of. 

“You’re completely sure there’s nothing about the bodies that connect these victims?”

“Agent Morgan, if there was anything I would tell you. I think it’s time you tell Detective Conner to rule these deaths a suicide.”

“Alright, will do.” Derek hung up with the coroner. Just then his mobile phone rang with the number of the detective displayed on the top of the screen. Derek sighed.

“Agent Morgan.” He answered.

“Agent, there’s another victim-”

“Conner, listen, they aren’t connected, there is no signature unless you can consider the suicide, I think you oughtta-”

“She was called in by a friend. Not a family member, not an apartment manager, not a coworker, a real friend. Derek, he’s devolving.”

Derek sighed, “Detective, I’ll let you send her body over to the coroner but I doubt there will be anything remarkable.”

There was some mumbling on the other end of the line before Detective Conner gave a response.

“That’s the thing, Agent Morgan, this victim is remarkable. She had piercing holes in her ears just like the others.”

“And how is that remarkable?”

“Her ears weren’t pierced.”

“And you’re sure about that, Detective?”

“Her best friend swears it. Do you think they could be puncture marks?”

“I’m not sure, let me tell Doctor Phyllis.”

Derek set down his mobile phone and dialed the coroner on his office phone.

“Doctor Phyllis?”

“You back again so soon, Agent?”

“Look, we got a new victim, she's got puncture marks on her ears. Not piercings, puncture marks. Can you check the other victims to make sure they’re not puncture marks?”

“Okay, give me a minute.”

Derek heard the sound of doors opening.

“Well, shit, they are puncture marks. On every single ear.”

“Thanks, Doctor Phyllis.”

Derek hung up on the office phone.

“Do I still have you here, Detective?”

“Yep. Were they piercings?”

“Nope. Bring in the girl’s friend and call in the family members of the other victims. We’re gonna need to talk to them.”

Derek hung up the phone and ran up to Hotch’s office.

“Something up, Morgan?” Hotch asked.

“You know that case Detective Conner asked me to look into?”

“The one with the suicides?”

“Yeah, well they might not be suicides. I’m having Conner bring in some people to ask them some questions. You mind if I ask Rossi and Prentiss to help?”

“Of course not, but if we get another case then leave the questioning for Detective Conner, alright?”

“Gotcha, boss.”

Derek gathered Rossi, Prentiss, and Penelope in the break room to discuss the case.

“Babygirl, you want to read out the profiles of our victims?”

“Reluctantly,” Penelope pulled up each of the files onto her laptop. “Danica Wilson, a 45 year old woman, was found by her landlord. She grew up in Victoria, Canada, but when she was 12, her parents got a divorce. Her mother moved her and her three siblings to North Dakota shortly after. All throughout highschool she seemed immensely interested in biology and chemistry. She was really good at it too, she took AP classes and she was a promising student. Unfortunately, her mom didn’t want her to do anything of the sort, and set her up for ballet classes her junior year. To appease her mom she studied the history of dance during college and ended up climbing up from an intern at a dance company all the way to a choreographer. Her love for science was still there the whole way through though, she’s been taking free college courses online for biology for about a year. She was found with her wrists slashed and spread out in a star shape on the middle of her bed. There were no fingerprints anywhere in her home and the slashes appeared to be self inflicted. Her mom died a week before she was found, all of her siblings live in other states, and she didn't have any close friends. She never dated, even though she had perfect brown eyes and blonde hair. According to her siblings she had all of the boys at her school after her. Despite there being no evidence of depression or other mental illness officers deemed her mothers death as a stressor and marked her death a suicide.”

“Then we have Maya Peto, 22 years old, found by her sister.”

“So there’s no age preference?” Rossi asked.

“Precisely,” Penelope continued, “She grew up in Detroit. Her parents raised her in a Christian household and shes been openly gay since she was 18. Her dad died when she was 14, leaving Maya and one sister to be raised by their mother. She did exceptionally well in math, but seemed to have no interest in pursuing it as a career. Instead, she became captain of her dance team in highschool and went to Wirtson’s Dance Academy for college. Her last year there, she was picked by Next Star Theatre Company, the same one as all of the other victims, to be on their ballet team. She was found just like Danica, and would be just like the rest of the victims. Her now ex-girlfriend and her had a kid, his name is Gene, he’s a year old, and Maya had full custody of him because Khloe, the girlfriend, had begun doing drugs about a week after Gene was born. How could lesbians have a child? Khloe was cheating. Maya gained full custody of Gene after a year long legal battle, and she had left him with her sister for a weekend while she baby proofed her house. Unfortunately, when she went to Maya’s apartment to return Gene, she found her dead. It was the anniversary of her father’s death when she was found, so the ever so ignorant officers deemed it another suicide.

“Then we have Annie Carr, 24. A coworker found her. Born here in Virginia, Annie was raised by her dad after her mom died when she was about one. She seemed to have a pretty awesome life. Her dad worked two jobs and she’s never had all that much money, but she was a happy kid. She went to a community college and ended up taking the same internship that Danica Wilson took, but she has stayed in that internship for years, mooching money off of her dad and siblings. Mabel Golden, the coworker that found her, claims that there’s no way Annie could’ve killed herself. She didn’t show any signs of depression or mental illness, though she could be pessimistic at times. Mabel said their boss was threatening to let her go, seeing as she hasn’t improved her work ethic in the last five years. Deemed another suicide.

“The fourth victim was Valentine Orange, 36, found by her father. She grew up in Maryland, started acting and dancing at six, her family was pretty wealthy, and she got accepted into the same dance academy and theatre company as Maya Peto. She also danced on the same ballet team. She told her team leader she was going away for a week to her father’s beach house, and when her father came to get her on the day she was supposed to leave, he found her in the guest bedroom, just like the other victims. The beach house was located in Maryland, and due to Detective Cooper’s hunch, the case got handed to us for an equivocal death investigation.

“Francis Falstaff, our fifth victim, was found by her adoptive mother. She was 22. Both of her parents died in a car crash a month after she was born, so she grew up in a multitude of foster homes. When she was ten her and her sister were adopted by Baron Falstaff and Maggie Falstaff. They seemed to be good parents. They went to all of their school events and paid for both of the girls’ college tuition. Francis was trying to make it into the same theatre company that employed the rest of the victims, specifically to work as a jazz dancer. She seemed to have killed herself, just like the rest of the victims, but her mom insists that she couldn’t have. She had a very promising life ahead of her. When they dissected her room they found an evidence board in the back of her closet. Her sister, Yvette, was stabbed to death a couple years back on the way to a party, and Francis was obsessed with finding the killer. Which is why she didn’t have many friends. When it was all processed, they found that the evidence led to Yvette’s boyfriend at the time. It was assumed that this weighed heavily enough on Francis that she ended up, well you know, on the same day she found out.

“Jane Sweeney, the second to last victim who worked on the Next Star Theatre Company ballet team, was 29. She’s been with the company since she was 20, and unfortunately her private teacher was the one who found her. Her father left when she was young. She liked expressing all of her success, almost narcissistically so. According to some other people on the dance team she was the best dancer and loved flaunting it. She was a kind of queen bee and seemed to value herself more than others most of the time. It just doesn’t make sense for her to kill herself.

“Lillian Bonner was the next victim. She was 54. She taught modern dance at the company. She lived with and was found by her only son, Tyrell, who she had with her husband Ivan. Though they were still legally married, the two were separated. Tyrell, who’s 16, said she was a fantastic mom. She always made sure he was fed and had someone to talk to. He told her practically everything about his life and he is having a really difficult time without her. He doesn’t believe that she would do that to herself.

“Our last victim was Camille Price. She was 25. Her best friend, Spencer Reid, who was on the same ballet team, found her. She was the only one who really had people around her. She grew up in Virginia with her parents and two brothers, one older, one younger. She visited them whenever she could. Everyone in her apartment building loved her, she even made dinner for one of the elderly occupants every Friday. Spencer doubts there is anything that would want to make her commit suicide, and to put the icing on the cake, there were puncture marks on her ears that police mistook for piercings. ‘What were they?’ you ask? Injection sites. How do we know this? Spencer swore that there was no way they could be piercings because Camille never wore earrings the entire 8 years he knew her because the Next Star Theatre Company does not allow their dancers to wear piercings or jewelry.”

“Alright, let’s go see if these people got any info for us.” Rossi got out of his seat and headed towards the interview rooms.

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