#listen i fucking love nameless main characters.

[zapsoda]

prolly mentioned begore but ive been readin frankensteinfor class and me n this girl were bonding about how fucking depressing adams story wasi was reading his chapters feeling like pure shit writing down all his hardest quotes

[terezis]

how Did you like nona tho?

short answer: i liked it! i didn't love it. as of this exact moment, having read it twice, i think that nona the ninth should have been pruned mercilessly and put into a very long alecto. (breaking dawn is 756 pages! they could’ve done it!!!) it didn’t need to be its own book, and does not do enough to justify itself as one. 

that said: it was still pretty good!!! 

long answer: i’m gonna be spicy first and then talk about what i liked LOL... spoilers under the cut

most of my criticism here comes back to the fact that this was originally meant to be the first act of alecto the ninth. you can tell. i definitely feel like i have read the beginning of alecto. like, don't get me wrong, most of nona stands on its own as a story, and it's a fun read; but you could have cut a good third of this book and it wouldn't have changed anything. 

we spend a frankly OBSCENE amount of time on nona's daily life when we could have gotten the picture in forty pages... and for all that she's deeply invested in her home life, her time at school, and her friends, the book fails to make ME care, which is disappointing because i know tamsyn muir is capable of doing so.

i mean, in the first two books everyone was uniquely delightful and felt like they could be the main character of a different story. it was hilarious to watch gideon interact with silas and colum; i love the original lyctors. but why should i care about beautiful ruby, whom i cannot distinguish from the other one, what's his name, born in the morning? we suffer? hell, even the angel???

you could replace pash with any nameless rebel and the story wouldn't change overmuch; the fact that she's apparently wake's niece has no relevance, except that it makes her hate zombies more… but most people in this book do, so who cares. what’s the point.

likewise, details and subplots that, in previous books, would have become relevant to the larger story at some point, don't seem to matter as much in nona. is that because they're going to be addressed again in alecto, or because they actually don't matter? i can’t tell.

take for example: hot sauce’s burns. compare it to something like abigail's backstory; it's a minor detail, but her interest in lyctoral history ended up spooking cytherea, which got her murdered, kickstarting the main conflict of the first book.

am i being too nitpicky here? did it not feel like those burns were supposed to be more relevant than they were? especially after we learn that she thinks edenites are too soft, so she hangs out with a fringe group implied to be responsible for the zombie burnings? but neither thing ever comes up again. is it just flavor? 

also consider: the different factions of the blood of eden, namely the hopers, who we’re frequently TOLD are major obstacles to the characters’ immediate goals, but who we rarely see become a problem. we suffer says it’s hard to convince them of anything, but they never really refuse her in any meaningful way. what are the stakes? is this the same group who previously killed 18,000 cohort soldiers with a space nuke? where's the oomph??? 

i feel like all of the above is also exacerbated by the fact that the entire book is told from nona's pov, and nona just does not give a single shit about the larger conflicts happening around her. it's not her fault. if i were her, i don't know if i'd care either. but as a result she spends SO MUCH of the book away from the action, which sucks when the best parts of this book are when she actually gets to be involved. 

i loved when she snuck out to talk to varun; when she listened to cam's tapes; when she and hot sauce ran off to see the broadcast. those parts fucked!!! i liked when she got to throw a tantrum!!! it was spooky!!! let her loose!!! i guess she has been let loose now, but it would've been nice if it had happened sooner.

look, i know this is a lot of criticism for a book i keep saying i liked. i really did enjoy it. harrow the ninth also had to grow on me, and u know i love that shit now. i like when a book is a puzzle, and the locked tomb is one of those thousand piece motherfuckers. right now nona gets a 6.5/10 from me, but mayhaps that will change on another reread.

anyways here's my highlight reel:

i was thrilled when gideon woke up and made a joke about stealing palamedes' girl

it’s so fucked up that ianthe wore babs' body like a little suit (complimentary) and when that body hugged corona omg. recall the last time the sisters saw each other. so fucking juicy. i love her

i LOVED the nun. pre-res anastasia? when she did the thing with the gun??? delicious

the thing with anastasia's bones at the very end Intrigued Me Deeply, and i want to know more about her relationship with alecto

the part where pyrrha told nona about her terrible shirt made me cry, which is funny bc the shirt had a sex joke on it

THE PART WHEN AIGLAMENE TOOK GIDEON'S FACE IN HER HANDS AND FLINCHED BACKWARDS BECAUSE SHE RELEASED SHE WAS LOOKING AT A CORPSE, AND SAID THEY KILLED YOU, AND GIDEON JOKED ABOUT IT, AND AIGLAMENE TURNED TO HARROW FURIOUSLY FOR LETTING GIDEON DIE, OW MY HEART

did not expect gideon to do a kill on crux, liked it, liked how she reacted to it, still don't think it's really gideon as we know her though

like she was MEAN. she was so sassy!!! i know she is sassy in general, but she was like NICE sassy in the other books, why is she acting like the villain version of herself, the stuff she said about becoming john's cavalier was so fucking weird, i don't think it was a front??? but why would she want that??? she was so MEAN

i hope she and ianthe are actually friendship bracelet wearing buds though like imagine when harrow finds that out. hilarious

i REALLY liked the fucked up nun. like a LOT

[panzershrike-pretz]

HIIIIIII PRETZ! which of your ocs would fit "the tradition" by halsey? really interested to see who...

HEY BLUUUUUU, SO SORRY I TOOK SO LONG- O had to get in the mood for new music and finally inspiration struck. SO

First of all, this somg is fucking amazing?? Why did I take so long to actually listen to it??

Anyway this turned out longe than i expected so to the depts of the "read more" it goes

Going off of voice alone, I could very well see this as a voice claim for Juni- but the song doesn't fit her. It actually made me think of Emma!

I'm still working on her sheet, but in short, before Emma ended up with her current family she did have some troubles in her past; with her biological family, former relationships and life in general.

"Oh, the loneliest girl in town is bought for pennies of prize

We dress her up in lovely gowns, she's easy on the eyes

Her soul is black and it's a fact that a sneer will eat you alive

And the buyer always brings her back because all she does is cry"

Right off the bat I knew this song would fit her. Emma was born to a wealthy family around the 1900's, all of which were magic - except for her, so she always felt that loneliness. She dressed up pretty, to be shown off by her dad, but at the end of the day she was very very miserable. She felt like the main attraction of a circus whenever her dad would show her off-

She grew out of it tho, and so did her powers as they developed! (By almost burning her half brother alive by accident but oh well. Sometimes tou gotta blow up un flames at the dinner table) and then she became more confident in herself and her ideals.

"So take what you want, take what you can

Take what you please, don't give a damn

Ask for forgiveness, never permission

Take what you want, take what you can

Take what you please, don't give a damn

It's in the blood and this is tradition"

^ the last line makes me think of her magical-pureblood lineage, and how she was seen as lesser because she didn't have powers for so long.

Ok, funny thing is. Emma was a thief for much of her life after she ran away from home (away from that family). She lived in the slums of France for a couple years as she took upon herself to try and get a chance to get away from Europe (her plans were to travel to Brazil, so she could study the magical plants found there; she was on her way to be a Magical-herbologist)

... But as First World War happened she saw herself having to deal with it and her plans were cut short. She decided to enlist as a nurse ans so she did, until she found herself falling head over heals for this stupid haunted soldier man who needs a name but i'm a lazy shit :> (and they were hunted down by the Creatures of Shadows until they were found and rescued by Miss Seagull but that's besides the point)

"You can take it back, it's good as gone

Well, flesh amnesiac, this is your song

And I hope what's left will last all summer long

And they said that boys were boys, but they were wrong"

From my interpretation of this bit, I can connect it with her brief (?) relationship with The Guy (nameless bitch), as in- she was so so in love and he. Fucked Off one day,,, left my baby there to feel sad and alone again (yeah she had the other peculiar children with her but It Wasn't The Same).

She was stuck there on a Time Loop for all of about 80(?) years. 80 years of everyday being the same summer day, unable to move on from her love until the loop colapsed and they were forced to flee- and her mind came crumbling down on her because while she was stuck, he mooved the fuck on and grew old and fucking died (this bit here was inspired by MPHFPC, so yeah,,,)

Anyway she's still a thief :3 but now she gets paid to do it :3

Here is my analysis of the song + character- i'd say it fits only past Emma, as she's now over it (fucking finally-), but its still Emma nonetheless

Here, have this doodle of Emma Crying Over A Man and Ottilie being so done

Ottilie the Olorotitan is the official psychologist. She can't take it anymore-

[limelocked]

a/b/o prompts that are sfw that simply just seem interesting to me

An alpha and omega pair who are in their like 20s and are roommates, they aren’t into each other at all and nowhere throughout the story would they like learn to love each other, the rent is just easier to pay together and they’re friends. The story would be the complexities of living together and keeping track of each other’s heat and rut just in case someone is a forgetful bitch. It follows the omegas daily life where they have to deal with there always needing to be a Very Trusted beta or alpha that’s like the designated safe person when going clubbing. The alpha having to deal with no one taking them seriously when they say there’s nothing romantic or sexual between them. If they ever sleep with each other it’s not played for titillation but for drama like one of us was out of our mind and we made a mistake together and how will our friendship survive this breach of trust

Mystery story about a guy who works as a detective and there’s all these extremely violent deaths that seem like fucking animal attacks but people say there’s pheramones left at the scene so detective guy thinks it’s a sex crime. Possible twists is that it’s not a sex crime induced by rut which is the leading theory and the second twist possible is that it Is rut (users choice if the victims were violated before the murder or if rut induced murder counts legally as a sex crime anyways) and that the detective is unknowingly the culprit and after that they go on a corruption arc

A sports drama that looks at how pheramones affect sports, how a/b/o is treated within sports (is there an omega only national team for example), and related doping scandals

Mob story where the main character is an omega but is also the scariest motherfucker around who Will break your ankles and make you run away from pending death, they deal in prescription drugs like selling harder opiates and hormone supplements/suppressants, only reason main character is an omega is for drama purposes relating to how they deal with alpha pheramones and how they’ve adapted to using their own pheramones like an alpha or beta would (possible transness here)

A collection of stories with the main character being a nameless barista or bartender who we only learn about thru the advise he gives others. All the short stories are patrons telling him their tales of woe and him trying to help or just giving a listening ear, we find out that he has a husband and is an omega who has at least one child, also he has an Amazingly large social circle

Story about a person who on a hike in the middle of shitfuck nowhere goes into heat and is found by a recluse beta who is ClueLess and thinks they just have some terrible sickness and very respectfully try to nurse them back to health and no thank you I won’t sleep with a sick person what if I catch it or you get worse the nearest hospital is So far away, the person ends up staying with the beta even after due to like depression or other worldly woes and it’s just a cute thing that might be a romance where the most sexual thing is the heat and the attempt to give the beta sex education, neither of which needs to be erotic

[primewritessmut]

😈🦅🍷?

Hiiii! I love your questions! Always. 🥰

😈 Has there been a point in a story where you did something just to be playfully mean to your readers?

Ha! No fewer than FOUR (!) of my fics came about specifically as a form of spite writing. I have this fic (that shall remain nameless) that twisted my experience in fandom so much on its head that I decided I would never write anything like that again. It’s all batshit, balls to the wall, niche head canon that pisses people off from here on out.

On a more specific note, my main reason for writing Songs for the Zombie Apocalypse was to see if I could get a fandom that simps for Wade W. Wilson to hate him at the end. I kind of succeeded.

🦅 Do you outline fics or fly by the seat of your pants?

Oh, I’m a pantser 100%. If you force me to write an outline nothing else will every get written. I consider my self a sociologist fly-on-the-wall and all I’m doing is taking notes as the character’s lives unfold.

God bless people that know where there fics are going but that isn’t me.

🍷 Do you drink and write?

Listen. I have been personal victimized by the quote “write drunk, edit sober” and I require compensation from the estate of Ernest Hemingway.

I assume this question is about pickling ye old liver which… I don’t do. I’m some odd amount of years sober and, more importantly, my mind off drugs is more fucked up than anything alcohol could give me.

I am, however, a beverage goblin and usually have no fewer than three drinks at all times: hot tea, water, and Coke. The anxiety this produces in me (like I’m going to have a seizure and spill every beverage over my keyboard at once) is a tension that I’ve simply learned to live with.

x

[lostonessoulworld]

The importance of: haxorus

Part 1: The tale of two trainers

For those who somehow DON’T know. haxorus is my all time favorite pokemon...like...EVER. And it’s all cause of two trainers, technically three but...she didn’t have a haxorus till BW2.

Now this story starts WAY back!!! ALLLLLLLLLL the way back to the FIRST gen 5 games. See at that particular point in time I had yet to find my favorite mon. There were close picks, like my lovely lady nidoqueen, but none that really hit ALL the right buttons for me.....then nimbasa city happen...in particular the battle subway. And I was rather forcefully introduced to haxorus via Ingo. Seeing that monster move, it’s attacks, even it’s design was just....wow....it hit all the button...but I already had a team made up, which oddly enough had another of Ingo’s pokemon Chandelure on it, so...I had to unfortunately pass. Years later and pokemon generations comes out. What do I see?

“what the FUCK!?” to quote myself as Drayden stared me down with his GOD LEVEL haxorus. Needless to say I promised myself I would use a haxorus.

part 2: The legend known as Minako.

Some time later sword and shield came out, and what is one of the pokemon I find early on? A little. Green. AXEW.....”Oh yeah. It’s all coming together.” I caught that cute little girl in a dusk ball and, since I was doing a persona themed run of pokemon sword, as in I name all but three pokemon after persona characters, I decided to name my future haxorus after the female main character of persona three portable. Minako. And let me tell you...DEAR GOD DID MINAKO STEAM ROLL ThE GYMS. She quickly evolved into a fraxture and almost TOO fittingly evolved into a haxorus as we climbed rose tower. Mind you i was also doing a nuzlock and was super lucky as no one had died yet. so you can understand that I was shocked we BEAT the WhOLE GAME WITh NO DEATh’S!!! I was so stoked....Then I replayed ultra sun.

part 3: The nameless silver warlord of Alola.

So...I replied Ultra sun...and with said replay came a code for a shiny haxorus....you can see where this is going. I entered the code and just FELL in LOVE with haxorus’s shiny form. Though OFFICIALLY nameless I constantly called this haxorus Kukri, yes after the knife. And like Minako before him Kukri was busted AF. I know there’s like a VERY small chance a pokemon will listen to you if you don’t have enough badges/crystals but i SWEAR to ARCEUS. Kukri listened EVERY. SINGLE. TIME....needless to say I was a VERY happy trainer...but I’m gonna leave it there cause I don’t really have any big stories relating to any of the other haxorus I used. But you can asked me about them if you like.

[thearvariblues]

you are under no obligation to answer ALL of these, but 3, 11, 17, 25, 32, 40, 55, 67, 73, and 77! pick as many as you like :V

Have I totally forgotten I reblogged this? You bet I have. 🤣 Anyway, thanks for the questions, I'll see what I can do!

3) Describe the creative process of writing a chapter/fic With a one-shot, it's usually "get an idea -> tell yourself you have too many wips and don't have time to write the idea -> get obsessed with the idea -> write it anyway" With a chapter of a longer fic, it's usually either "these characters have taken over my life and are forcing me to spit out 4k words in 24 hours, send help" or "this fic is almost over can we PLEASE just finish this chapter, I'M BEGGING YOU!"

11) Link your three favorite fics right now Listen, I can't even finish the fourth volume of 2ha, my brain can't really handle reading fics. I'm glad when I can make it write fics. 🤣

17) What do you do when writing becomes difficult? (maybe a lack of inspiration or writers block) Scream. Cry. Suffer. Complain. (That usually helps. The moment I bitch about not being able to write, I suddenly seem to miraculously get the ability back.)

25) What fic do you wish you got more of a response on? You know the answer, ellie, I fucking know you do. 🤣 It's Today, We Are Happy. I put my whole soul into that thing. But I guess it's kinda my fault for publishing an angsty fic right before Christmas.

40) If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see? Yeah, that's not likely to happen, but hypothetically, it would be nice to see the VP reunion from (Some Things Are) Better Left Forgotten. Or anything where Pete gets choked. 🤣 Or a scene from a smutty fic I'm still only considering to write, but it would include Pete in a skirt getting fucked on the minor family house's balcony during new year's fireworks. 😇

55) Of the characters you write for, which is your favorite? Has that choice been swayed at all by your followers/readers’ reactions to certain ones? It's both Vegas and Pete and nothing can really change that. The one time I got swayed was actually with my own original character - and yes, it was Sunshine in Vegas' Unconventional Torture Methods. He was only meant to be a nameless bodyguard, but then the readers fell in love with him (and so did I), and he became his own character.

67) Do you prefer prompts and challenges, or completely independent ideas? I usually write my own ideas, but prompts and challenges can be fun, too! (With that said, if anyone has any prompts for me, my asks are always open.) 🤣

73) What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works? I hope I can write good dialogues, and also sassy bickering. And comedy/crack. Which is not that usual a thing to see in the VP fandom, I think.

77) Do you have a favorite scene you’ve written from [Fanfic Name] story/chapter? Oh, can I pick the fic to answer for? 😁 I just love the scene in Today, We Are Happy where Vegas forgets all about his pride and lets the main family see him unstyled and vulnerable because he's worried about Pete and Pete's way more important than his pride and stubborness.

If anyone else wants to send me a fic ask, feel free to! 🥰

[tender-rosiey]

Congratulations on 1k followers! My favorite character is prince Dazai Osamu from the kingdom of Bungou Stray Dogs. My favorite couples activity is bookstore dates and the time stamp is 10:30 am. Thank you!

[10:30am] — Bookstore Date

↳ 【Dazai Osamu】

FROM THE 1K EVENT

ᴀ/ɴ: thanks love! hope you like this <3 ALSO I KNOW ITS BEEN A WEEK SINCE I POSTED AMD I APOLOGIZE because in short some shit is fucked up 😶 pardon my use of profanity

While emptiness was what filled him, Dazai read; he read until his eyes were sore. Because when everything alive is dull, we seek the comfort in the imagination of others and our own, hence why books are here.

Books were the passion of many but for Dazai it was merely a form of feeble entertainment. He never cared too much about it nor did he fill his mind with it; it was never that successful in filling the void anyways.

But you, you loved books; they were a portal to a completely different world. One that you explored in it the wonders and ideas of others and to live the moment with the people in the story and one that interested you beyond belief; the emotions, the events, the characters and everything in between enchanted you.

So when you both found out that books were a common interest for each other, book dates were a must; you could cancel every other date due to work but you guys would still have your book date.

Today was the day.

After week filled with cases and problems, you finally a had a day to yourselves; you guys enter the awaited bookstore hand in hand. The old clerk smiled at the both of you knowingly and fondly as she returned to the tasks at hand muttering about young love and its wonders.

The smell of books was spreading around you as each of you eagerly chooses a book of their choice and settles excitedly but somehow without making too much noise next to the other on the couch.

Despite knowing that quietness is what is wanted from you guys, both of you can’t help but let out small giggles as you open the books; you both lean on each other for support, happily and contently humming.

Time passes as you guys read, occasionally showing each other interesting lines and events from your own book; of course, it won’t be complete without Dazai throwing some flirty comments here and there and of course jokes.

“Hey love, this character is going to take out the trash; I never knew you were in stories—OW OW OW I AM SORRY!”

“Silence!”

“…Sorry ma’am.”

Cue your giggling after he got scolded by the other clerk.

Another part of your book dates is after finishing a book you proceed to share your opinions and most interesting events; it basically consists of listening to each other intently and engaging animatedly in a conversation you die to have everyday.

“I can’t wait to tell you about this book, love; the main character reminds me of you. I love that.”

taglist (italic can’t be tagged) : @magenta-cat-drawingss @pompompurin1028 @scul-pted @dazaisdeathwish @requiem626k @nameless-shrimp @shinys-bsd-world-1 @sonder-paradise @ravenina14 @jessbeinme15 @todorokichills

copyright © 2020 tender-rosiey

do not copy or plagiarize or you will be reported

[lesbiansanemi]

You got me curious so, top five Bleach villains?

Oh god fuck yes any excuse to talk about Bleach villains. I actually had a really tough time narrowing it to just my favorite five, and I already talked about Ulquiorra, so I'll leave him out of it this time around, despite loving him, and I'm also just focusing on Aizen and the Espada, leaving out Yhwach and the Sternritter for now, but anyways, yes yes yes

Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez

So surprising absolutely fucking no one, putting Grimmjow in that first spot. I love Grimm, and I think he's so neat because it can be... difficult, to have a villain who genuinely just relishes in violence and destruction without much else motivation. They can feel flat, or pointless and forced. But Grimmjow had so much personality, and beyond that, when he eventually develops, and finds a motivation in Ichigo, that's also really interesting! Also, after he gets his little "redemption arc" (if you can consider that, considering he technically didn't really change at all, just changed priorities lol), he gets even more fun to watch. So yeah, love Grimmjow

2. Sosuke Aizen

So like... you can't really talk about Bleach villains without talking about Aizen? A lot of people consider him one of the best anime villains, and yeah, I kind of have to agree. For one, he's fun because he's got the whole "mad scientist" thing going on, which is always neat. And I'm always gonna love any character whose entire motivation is killing/surpassing God. He's so overbearing, that he can even make the audience uncomfortable at times. He has no morals, and only cares about overtaking the natural order. He experimented on countless individuals (of course, most people think of the Visored, the arrancar, and Ichigo), but there were many nameless Shinigami that he just straight up murdered in his endeavors. I also think it is hilariously ironic that one of Aizen's main roles in the series was the foreshadowing of the Soul King, and a lot of what happened with Yhwach, because he would hate that. But yeah no, he's super interesting, and had a lot of cool dynamics with other characters. And god don't even get me started on how he counters Urahara, and serves as a reminder to him for what he can never become, because without a reminder, it's plausible Urahara would stray down the same path. Ah, parallels. So yeah no, Aizen is a very good villain.

3. Gin Ichimaru

So like... okay, there's some debate over whether Gin was really a villain or not. But in my opinion, he absolutely was. He did awful things for personal reasons. Was his ultimate goal to get close to Aizen and kill him? Sure. We can admire that conviction, but that doesn't change that he killed countless people, led them into traps to be experimented on, and put Rangiku through hell regarding him. And as sweet as the whole "I'm glad I apologized to you" thing was, it doesn't change what he did to her. Him being sorry or maybe, ultimately, having a good conviction doesn't change what he did. But I think that's what makes him such a good, tragic villain. He wanted to stop Aizen, so he became something terrible, and ultimately died without even being able to accomplish the goal he sacrificed everything for. He's a very good tragic character, and villain, and as important as they were to each other, it's kind of unfortunate that so many people reduce him to his relationship to Rangiku, and nothing more.

4. Tia Harribel

Listen, I can't really say more than just "Harribel is a badass bitch." The fact that she, canonically, is one of the only people who can keep Grimmjow in line (along with Nel) is so fucking good. Her want to protect her Fraccion was so interesting, especially considering she was meant to represent "sacrifice," but she could only do that so long as she was sacrificing herself. She didn't want anyone else to sacrifice themselves for her (as we saw with her Fraccion). Beyond that, I love that she took over as the ruler of Hueco Mundo after Aizen's defeat and forced all the other arrancar to submit to her and follow her lead. She was so badass. Also hot, and I am but a simple lesbian

5. Szayelporro Granz

Honestly, most of what sticks out to me about Szayel is his death. We were given another "mad scientist" character (which Bleach has no shortage of those, and I really have to thank it for that. As I mentioned above with Aizen and Urahara, it was very interesting how they all countered each other, and posed the question of "how far is too far?" regarding that kind of thing. Aizen and Urahara were the checks for each other, and Szayel and Mayuri proved to each other that there was no limit for them). Szayel was actively torturing Renji and Uryu before he died, and was having an amazing time doing it, so it's very easy to surmise that he did the same to others. He was horrible. But with the way Mayuri decided to kill him (AKA, slowing time down from Szayel's perspective, so that the single sword strike it took to kill him felt as if it last ten thousand years and left him begging for death and reprieve), it leaves the audience feeling almost... sick, and wondering if that was too much, even for a monster like Szayel. Are characters like Mayuri allowed to do whatever they want, with no repercussions, even to reprehensible people like Szayel? Idk, I just like that Szayel (and to be honest so many of the Bleach villains represent the darkest parts of the 'heroes' like with Aizen and Urahara that I mention above ^^ Grimmjow does that with Ichigo, Ulquiorra with Orihime, etc etc).

But yeah no, fucking adore the Bleach villains. The series has its flaws, but the villains certainly are not part of them. They're all so interesting, and genuinely serve their role of challenging the protagonists, not just in the war, but their ideals and what they stand for and what they represent, and show that the "heroes" are genuinely just one or two wrong moves from having the exact same thought processes as them. So yeah, love them. Love them so much.

[fastestboyalive]

(( WOKE IN A COLD SWEAT AFTER DREAMING ABOUT A THEORETICAL TEEN TITANS CARTOON REBOOT, IT WAS WILD, IT WAS VERY ROUND,,,,, I JUMPED TO DRAW EVERYONE BEFORE I FORGOT, DETAILS UNDER A CUT OH MAN

okayokayokay, not everything makes a ton of sense, it was a really long, disjointed dream of misadventures. it was also a much “happier” teen titans, all of them were doofy teens?? just. doofy.

Terra is the team leader of this “v2″ Teen Titans- Robin was the leader of the last one, then went through an identity crisis, then Terra took charge on a mission and he was like “listen how would you like to be leader for a while? i can help you out, but i just can’t do this rn”

she’s GREAT at it.

......... it’s twice as heartbreaking when she “betrays” the team. :’( she couldn’t handle the gig, and had shit goin on y’know

Beast Boy is the NEWEST member, shows up on a mission and offers to help the team.

in the dream he just kept giving weirdass nicknames and refused to call people by their actual names; robin was “Main Character Guy” bc his hair was “main character colored, like in anime”

he is so skittish

he is also weirdly cat-boy-shaped??? tail n’ all. HIS HANDS ARE NORMAL, BUT HE WEARS PAW GLOVES?????? sure, whatever why not

Raven is very chill. very quiet, doesn’t talk much. she has headphones on usually.

her skin is purple-y. cartoon demon-y.

because she can’t allow herself to “feel” emotions, she expresses herself thru art. fashion. music. poetry. she has a lot to say when she DOES speak. she is always listening to heavy metal, it keeps her calm.

wears nazars/evil eye charms and has them ALL OVER her room.

Starfire has a different accent like every day. that’s it that’s the hc. 

she uses she/her pronouns, but she is NOT a girl!!!!  her gender is “glorzmek”.  demigirl or nb is probably closest.

she’s seven feet tall, what a goddess

hair has.... “eel dynamics”. and it color shifts like an oil spill, it just looks like it’s always moving.

curious about EVERYTHING!!!!!!!! also free love hippie vibes.

Robin is doin’ great and is having a good time!!!!!! good for him!!!

used to be team leader w the Fab Five, but the Teen Titans is sort of a revolving door of members lol. following an identity crisis though, he decided to take a step back, for his mental health and everyone’s sake.

he is REALLY REALLY BESTIE with cyborg and kid flash!!!!!!!!!

HIS HAIR.... IS DIP DYED................. ROBIN’S EGG BLUE. I CAN NOT MAKE THIS SHIT UP, THAT’S JUST HOW IT HAPPENED,,, happened during his ‘identity crisis” and bitch, same.

Cyborg is also much happy-go-lucky-er!!!! 

only half of him is really robo-cyborg-ish??? and also his right thumb is a prosthetic??? he thinks it’s very funny to detach it and just place it in friends’ hands; “I’m giving you a thumbs up :’) .”

i, uh... i can’t explain the mechanics of his design, not even a little. his limbs/joints are encased in clear puffy plastic, like... baymax-style. the “blue” parts are compartments of “coolant liquid” around his brain, heart, and... shoulder?????? oh yeah his brain, it is. visible. think Boskov from “Evil Con Carne”?

idk he’s a delight and makes the worst jokes

Kid Flash is basically the team medic haha. he loves extreme sports, but is VERY safety conscious.

always has his trusty backpack on- cushions from falls, has a first-aid kit, extra snacks, etc.

elbow/knee pads and wrist guards. his sneakers are just... normal. idk, seems like bad design but he just wears converse??

VERY friendly, VERY enthusiastic. also very calm??? team therapist.

The “bad guys” in the dream were Cheshire, and this other chick??? i had no idea who she was in the dream, and she was nameless, but as i was drawing her i was like “guhh this is Tigress now i guess, only makes sense??” i know, they’re swords not archer shit. i didn’t make the rules. maybe she reforms later on down the line and trades the swords for her old childhood archery equipment, decides she prefers the detachment of long-range combat from short-range,,,,

that was super rambly about a theoretical non-existent reboot/character. anyways, they’re both the “huntsmen” for some big secret evil organization. idk what it is. probably the Brotherhood of Evil.

both of them are silent. they communicate through body and sign language. totally wordless.

EXTRA/MISC HC’S???

Terra and BB are besties, but it’s her helping him come into himself.

Raven, in dream, did very monotonously say, “Gay rights”, so jot that down

Robin/Cyborg/Kid Flash are BEEEESSSTTTIIIIES, absolute troublemakers, “boys-will-be-boys” shenanigans. idiot jocks.

Star is tight with EVERYONE. she and cyborg have a secret handshake.

Robin and Raven will sit on the sidelines and just gossip.

BB’s eyes do that weird fuckin cat nocturnal thing and just go RED in the dark. terrifies everyone. 

Kid Flash is literally just vibing!!!! you know Hermes in “Lore Olympus”? that’s kid flash in this reboot i guess.

Robin will pop up out of fucking nowhere. he’s real smug about it. no one hears him, and he just. Poof. startles you.

when Terra is frustrated her skin... dusts? just puffs dust around.

Kid Flash and Terra have Sunday Morning Brunches together. helps her unwind/vent, mostly an excuse to get SO MUCH BREAKFAST FOOD.

i cannot stress enough how goofy the teens are, this dream had a younger target audience, they absolutely did not take being stalked by evil agent hunters seriously one bit. and it was an intensely choreographed fight-chase-dodge-tease scene, the fuck, why can’t i write that shit in real life. god i would pay money to watch this show. ))

[kaysutcliff-michaelis]

Bright We Burn ending rant (SPOILERS)

Under the cut you will find my opinion with lots of spoilers, capitals and cursing about Bright We Burn (and the Conqueror’s saga in general) written by Kiersten White.

Quoting from https://booksandreaderssite.wordpress.com/2018/10/13/bright-we-burn/ “This book was ruined by the author falling in love with her own character: Perfect Beloved Radu“ 

I finished reading the book like an hour ago and I’ve been complaining, crying, and looking for reviews since then. I hate it, hate it so much, as much as I loved the first two books and the beginning of this one.

The impression I get from the ending is not one I expected to get from a book that had a strong female protagonist as its main selling point. Mainly because said protagonist gets the worst possible ending. I didn’t expect a happy go lucky ending, I didn’t even expect her not to die or the author to stray too far from historical facts. Just because of the title I expected her to be like a shooting star, briefly burning bright. But she didn’t burn bright, she just burn. What I didn’t expect was the ending feeling completely alien to the rest of the saga.

Lada is ruthless, strong, smart, a great tactician and has her sights focused on her goal, being the prince of Wallachia. And fuck Mehmed, Radu, her father, and whoever tries to prevent her from ruling her country. She gets the respect of her men and the people of her country, she’s a good and fair ruler even if she got there with rather bloody methods. But haven’t they all? The Ottoman Empire Mehmed and Radu are so fond of is built on the blood of the janissaries they have taken from vassal states and the blood of the Christians from Constantinople. Yet the moment Lada kills the boyars (who have been leeching off Wallachia for decades) and Mehmed’s envoys (who burnt a village first), she must be stopped. How dare a woman make life easier for the people of the country?

And for some reason, the author allows two men to ruin what Lada has built with blood, sweat and tears. And to add insult to injury, the men who should have helped her (Mehmed even claims “he gave her the throne” as the selfish and self-centered asshole he is).

And she loses everything and everyone who is important to her. Petru, Nicolae, Oana, Stefan, Daciana, and Bogdan. Oh, Bogdan. How I wished Radu lost an eye to compensate for his murder.

And in case that was not enough, the dragon that was so strong and fierce suddenly turns into a girl that is lonely and hurt and needs her brother to survive and give her back her country. The country that never recognised Radu as prince. The country that loved Lada.

HE FUCKING HAD TO GIVE HER WHAT WAS ALREADY HERS. A MAN. AGAIN. HE FUCKING TOOK THE THRONE FROM HER AND FUCKING GAVE IT BACK AS IF HE WAS A DAMN SAINT. ALL SHE DID AND IN THE END SHE WAS PRINCE BECAUSE A FUCKING MAN ALLOWED IT. HOW IS THAT FEMINIST???????????  WHAT IS THE USE IN HAVING SUCH A POWERFUL FEMALE CHARACTER IF THE FULFILLMENT OF HER DREAM DEPENDS ON THE WHIM OF A MALE EVEN AT THE VERY END?

AND HE EVEN GETS AN “I TOLD YOU” MOMENT!!! THE AUDACITY!!!

And her death... such a warrior, killed by a nameless assassin with a knife to the back. A nameless grave. So disrespectful to what Lada was. I don’t care if all the things I didn’t like were for historical accuracy’s sake. Lada was her character and deserved way better than that.

Moving on to the treacherous rat that Radu has become, I liked him so much and in this book I could only pray for someone to smack him as hard as possible. He goes from the poor and traumatised soul that is being manipulated by Mehmed and has lost his best friend and potential partner to enabling Mehmed’s actions while being fully conscious of how he’s being used, instantly healing himself from a trauma that is not relevant ever again, not giving a damn about killing people, sending Kumal to his death without sparing it too many thoughts, and having a cute little happy family while wanting to imprison his sister for the rest of her life and thinking he’s doing her a favor. He actually thought it was good and fair to plan a happy life for himself while destroying everything his sister had fought for. The sister he never ever chose.

Am I the only one who loved that the Danesti brothers started being problematic as soon as Radu gave them the throne?? Boyars will be boyars, and I don’t understand how he thought those two would be better rulers than Lada, they wouldn’t enter the castle and still wanted the money, the lands and the fancy stuff.

I honestly cannot believe how much this character has changed (for the worse), and how he acts like he’s so good and only looking for the best for those he loves when he’s a traitor, a liar, a killer and the reason why Constantinople fell. He cannot forgive Lada for protecting Wallachia, but apparently everyone and their mother have forgiven and forgotten all the blood staining his hands. Also I find it unbelievable how he sells the way the Ottoman Empire is run to Cyprian but then when Lada tried to use some of the things she had learnt there to run Wallachia it was suddenly the worse thing ever. Radu is definitely not the good Dracul sibling, he’s the toxic one.

Speaking about Cyprian, I honestly couldn’t feel happy for them. When he came back to Radu I was already too angry and wanting to send him packing back to Edirne. Amazing how Cyprian can give counsel about how to deal with Lada when all he knows about her is second-hand but he can forgive Radu for lying to him, making the siege worse for everyone, being the reason why his uncle is dead and his city was lost (and even if he doesn’t know about it, the reason why Giustiniani may have died).

And Fatima?? How she “took care” of Lada at the end? I can’t tell if she’s too broken or what, but it was creepy how she could take care of Lada when Nazira wouldn’t even stand being in the same room. Even if she was going to give them her baby, it makes me wonder how messed up she can be to be able to behave that way with the person who killed her brother-in-law and they were so adamant to condemn.

I won’t even talk about the baby thing because that was just so unnecessary for the plot and for Lada herself as a character.

Going back to Radu and before talking about Mehmed, I hate how he is 100% sure that Mehmed knows about his feelings and is using him and said feelings and he??? just??? allows??? it???? Still does whatever he wants, still appears at his doorstep no matter his trauma with Constantinople, still makes Nazira and Fatima leave their house though they had just been reunited and Mehmed didn’t care that much about finding Nazira and STILL at the end, 20 years later is in good terms with him. He didn’t confront Mehmed about using him, never called him out. Radu is the friend who will listen to you when you’re explaining how a common friend has abused you and then will keep being friends with the other person and abandoning you :D

I am not Mehmed’s biggest fan, but it’s like he isn’t even a character anymore in this book. Even if we never have his pov it always felt like this story was a triangle, but at the end it was like he wasn’t there anymore, he isn’t even the source of conflict because Radu isn’t in love with him anymore. Even for all their alleged worries about Theodora being Mehmed’s biological daughter, that issue was glossed over in a matter of three lines. I do wish he had stayed more relevant (and that he had never left Constantinople).

Surely I’m forgetting something but I think my point is clear XD Radu is a hypocrite who didn’t deserve his happy ending, Mehmed became so irrelevant that the plot was missing something, and Lada, our dragon, deserved way better. Oh, and don’t write a “feminist” YA book if the female character is the one who’s going to have the worst ending. It just feels like you’re telling women they will end up alone and dead if they are as strong and determined as Lada, and to suck it up because men will always be forgiven for the crimes.

[zet-sway]

@the-wip-project day 30

Did your main characters change as you wrote them? Was that the plan or did they surprise you?

The more time I spend trying to write Thane authentically, the easier he gets. Shepard, on the other hand...

I've already talked about how difficult it is to not write enormous parts of myself into her. It's still difficult but I'm trying.

The thing is, I'm not a good liar. So I'm also not a very good actor, either. In fact I'm pretty shit at thinking up believable, fictitious scenarios. This is one of the many reasons creating a character is hard for me.

But some of these daily questions really do help the old brain grease move. I've spent some time thinking about my Shepard and what makes her... her.

My last fic got me thinking about it a lot actually. There's always great opportunity in fanfic to throw in a little bit of context and memory when a character is being introspective. I had to ask myself - "when was the last time someone went down on this woman?" So I made something up. And yeah I did draw on my own experiences for it, but not exactly from my own experiences. I kind of blended some things together. How does any writer get away from viewing everything through the lens of their own life? Seriously if anyone knows this please enlighten me lol

Also I deliberately didn't write in pronouns for that particular partner because she's not straight.

Like I don't want to have this mary-sue character who's had no bad experiences ever, or who's had a normal uneventful life, because no one wants to read about that (including me). But I also feel bad handing her trauma or bad experiences that I haven't personally been through because I don't want to appropriate them (is that even a thing? mostly I just worry I will represent survivors in a bad way)? AND I don't want to give her my experiences because I don't want to write a fanfic about me. So ?????????

Anyway I'm going to veer off track a little bit here and say I'm wondering if maybe, in my canon, she will marry Thane? I've not really considered re-marrying Thane before, mostly I want to respect Irikah. I think Kolyat would be pretty irritated by it as well. But I think - maybe - after the events of Arrival, if Shepard knew she was going to Alliance Baddie Jail, she would marry Thane for the familial benefits. Marriage is about love, yeah, but one of the biggest reasons people fight for marriage equality is because a spouse enjoys certain legal benefits and considerations. I don't know how military prison works at all but I think given the canon representation of Shepard's house arrest, she might be allowed at least infrequent phone calls with her husband? (also I want to write a voicekink smutfic about this where James says he has to listen in on the call and she's like "are you sure you want to listen to this call?" and he's like, "no, but it's my job :( so I gotta")

I saw this interesting post yesterday - and of course I didn't like or reblog it because I was full tired - but someone had asked "what do I do if I have a scene and characters and emotions, but no plot?" And the blogger responded with "what do your characters want? Why are they there, what happens if they get what they want?" and a bunch of other stuff (I can't recall). But that's basically how I thought of this. If they really wanted to stay in touch that bad (especially bearing in mind it would be an indefinite incarceration), they might do it.

So I'm toying with the idea of them eloping? I hate that word so much. I'm mildly serious about this, but I'm having a lot of trouble deciding who marries them (and whether or not I even write this scene at all). I thought Anderson, but he has too many Alliance connections. Maybe Samara, but she might not be ordained to join anyone but asari couples? Udina? Any one of the council members? Bailey? Who the fuck knows, dude. I just don't want it to be some nameless law clerk on the Citadel. But Kolyat would be their witness, I think. Or he would tell his dad to fuck off. I think it would depend a lot on how I framed his character up to that point. So if not Kolyat, maybe Garrus. Fuck dude why is this shit so difficult.

And FINALLY because I haven't spat out enough words already - my Shepard spends her retirement as a farmer. Because fuck me I just think she would love that blend of fruitful but difficult labor where there's always something to be doing. Maybe she'll grow sunflowers and raise chickens. My husband and I even talked about whether or not she would be a farmer on Earth. Maybe that may years post-war she'll just fuck off to Tuchanka with Wrex and help them out. Or maybe she'll just be a fucking construction worker (much to Thane's horror lmao). I don't know man, the possibilities are wide open. All I really know for sure is my Shepard hates being bored.

[skelffricat]

Good grief, Charlie Brown.

I’ve never owned an electric toothbrush. I’ve never had a dishwasher. I am the dishwasher. I like washing dishes. I never bought an iron. I don’t have a hairdryer. I find it strange that I get advertised these reusable alternatives for things that I never use anyway. Alternatives to cling film. I put another plate over the dish. Alternatives to cotton buds. I use my finger. (Ew, you may say, but surely a finger’s that size to fit in ears and nostrils? Or whatever orifice you please. Wash your hawnds.) Alternatives to cotton wool circles. What? I dont know why these thoughts have come into my head, when I want to write about my youngest child. Really, I’m meant to be working, but an annoying email from my dead daughter’s school sent me down a suicide rabbithole. Perhaps those other thoughts come about as my classic brain avoidance schemes. Like when you hoover instead of doing an essay. Positive procrastination, I used to call it. I wanted to visit some friends last night- a fun thing! but I was feeling all solitary and awkward. I cleaned the bathroom ceiling at first, instead! I had to really talk myself into going to see them. I was looking at my bed and it was saying, “Get into me! and read your book!”

Then I went, and I had a lovely time, of course. I still finished the book I was reading, when I got home at midnight, until three am, making myself ever so tired. I’ve stopped taking the tablets- beta blockers and mirtazapine (more by accident rather than design. They’re still up in the chemist waiting for me. I’m rather disorganised) and so sleep doesn’t come as readily. I have to take deep breaths for ages sometimes, to get over. And I awake in the night hearing things that aren’t there. I heard The Woodcarver calling me, one night, plain and loud as day. Another time, I heard my son knocking my door three times, sharply (or was it a burglar? I said that to someone and they laughed. Burglars don’t knock! Oh, hello there, wake up, I’m robbing you blind!) Bounced out of bed. Heart hammering. Called him. He was fast asleep. Was it her ghost? I don’t believe in ghosts, really. Kind of wish I did. She’d be a mischievous one, no doubt. Is it always 5:57am, when I awake? The same time. Time to find your dead child. 

I’m often in the house alone, now. They didn’t want to leave me alone, and there were so many people in the house, for ages. Then all of a sudden, it stopped. And I changed lovers... I changed to the one I’d been in love with for over a year, the one who seemed too young, the one who wasn’t interested. Suddenly he was interested. Well. It wasn’t sudden. It took a few weeks. Seven weeks? The seven week itch? It coincided with when the Scottish lover asked me to stop letting other people come to the house. He wanted me to himself. Which is kind of fair enough, though I knew it wouldn’t last anyway. (People coming to my house, I mean, not the relationship. I really enjoyed having a relationship with him. He is very sweet, funny, intelligent, and kind. The sex was great. He can cook wonderful food and play guitar well. I liked to sing with him. I am ashamed to say I was bothered by his being smaller than me, though. His face tended to itch me, too- he never quite grew a beard long enough to stop that. As he kept shaving it off, not because he couldn’t. That was the first time he kind of annoyed me, though.)

Lockdown doesn’t help, of course. We were all breaking rules in our grief. Covid is cancelled, my mother said. Masks off. Hugs all round. A friend told me you need extra oxytocin when you’re grieving. I was getting plenty of it. Good grief... 

Now I am frequently alone, and as my new lover is very busy studying (or perhaps less interested in me again now that he has my attention back? Though his reticence in getting with me stemmed from his concerns about the uneven nature of our interest in each other...) I haven’t seen him all week. I feel myself becoming depressed, and withdrawn, and paranoid, yet I still don't feel particularly sad about my daughter’s death. Which is strange. Isn’t it? Here is the email I received from her school this morning (it had her name and class at the top of the email): 

“Good morning

I hope this email finds you all well.

A number of years ago I signed the college up to the campaign against period poverty. I receive and distribute sanitary products to girls, primarily on free school meals, but any who are in need of the products and either can’t afford them or it is difficult to get them. The products are normally distributed by myself, during P.E and games, unfortunately this can’t happen at present.

These products are still available during the school closure. If you wish to avail of them, please contact our school info account (which is only read by one member of office staff) your request will be directed to me and I will contact you directly regarding collection.

These are difficult times for many at present and to quote my favourite supermarket, ‘every little helps’.

Kind regards...”

I was really with her until she quoted Tesco. And said they were her favourite!! Ugh! I mean, it really is a great idea. Though they really should check if the people they are writing about are still capable of bleeding. My heart bleeds....

I replied thus:

“Hello there.

Great idea, but as (my youngest daughter) has died, she won't be needing them any more. I hate Tesco- they ruin many little businesses.

Maybe take me off this mailing list?”

Then I attached one of her seven suicide notes: the one for school. Which I had previously not shown them. I only found it on Christmas Eve. Can I attach it, here? It has no names... 

There we are. Is it wrong of me to find her notes amusing? She is so angry, people say. I wonder how much of it is literal, and how much of it is using the school as a big nameless scapegoat. She was funny in the rest of them, too, and very loving. I found them comforting, like a fucked up Christmas present.

Then I started reading articles about suicide, and they were about how we shouldn’t call the people who do it selfish, about how depressed they are, how they need pity, not anger. I’m tired of the pity (though I’m not the suicidal one). I’m not producing enough sadness from myself when people pity me, either. Where is my sadness? Am I too acceptant of it all? We are all going to die. Is suicide like a C-section? Is it cheating death, like I thought my Caesareans cheated birth? Is suicide self euthanasia? Why do I not miss my daughter more? Is it because she had already left? Was she released, happy, free as a bird, swooping away on an Awfully Big Adventure? Trapezing her way into the æther? I googled to see if I could find any positive reactions to suicide. Is this my nature, to try and find the good in everything? To try and make light of the horrific? Is everything a joke to me? 

I found this blog post, from Andreas Moser.

I love it. Am I trying to take the blame away from myself? The NHS? The school? Should I be reeling and railing against the systems that let my daughter get into that state? Why am I instead trying to find ways to applaud her behaviour, accept it, even enjoy it?! When I read his words, “I admire their courage (because logical as it may be, it’s not easy) and the determination to make the ultimate decision in life oneself.” I felt a strange sensation of relief, that someone else could think those things. I had been thinking them, but trying not to, because it seemed like such an awful thing to think. But then I think, why does anyone else have to be to blame? It was her decision. 

The book I was rereading is called Life After Life, by Kate Atkinson. It’s my favourite book, I have decided, for now. Do favourites stay favourites? I was looking at my old Couchsurfing Profile today (because of Andreas’ blog- he, as a hippy hermit, is, of course, on Couchsurfing). One needs to update these every so often. Explain that you have watched another film in the last twenty years, that there is one less sofa in your living room, one less child on your earth. Even though no-one is allowed to move around, really. No visiting. No exploring. Perhaps she killed herself to escape the boredom. 

In Life After Life, the main character, Ursula, lives again and again. (I forgot that to live again and again, she had to die again and again. It's a very sad and graphic book, spanning two wars- read it. It is, ultimately, uplifting.) I wanted to read it again to make my daughter live again, and again. We need to write her alive. Show her drawings and paintings. Listen to her songs (they're hilarious). Read her poems. Admire her photographs. Tell the stories of her antics.

I know that really she was actually depressed and withdrawn. I know it isn’t a glorious escape. That her wee head was broken, and that sometimes it’s just easier to say, it was unfixable, she was determined, this is what she wanted, than to contemplate it as my (or anyone else’s) failure to help her. I know that she used to be confident and gregarious. She would have danced in front of people, inspiring others. She was always upside-down, tumbling, twirling, cartwheeling. She had a dry, cheeky wit, and rather an amusing obsession with poo and wee. She was kind, and wise. She liked to bake vegan treats. She could draw, and paint, and sing so beautifully. She played the ukelele, but by then she was hiding away. She had started to write poems- songs? She wouldn’t show us them. We had to beg her to perform on the trapeze for her Granny’s eightieth, in July. She did so, beautifully, but you could tell she hated the attention. Four months later, she hanged herself on it. 

Had we all withdrawn into ourselves, this 2020? Was there really nothing else to do? Yet I remember the start of Lockdown seeming idyllic. All that free time, all that sunshine. Was I just trying to convince myself, as usual? The only people we saw were the Woodcarver and the neighbours. She taught the wee boy next door to ride his unicycle. When she died, he brought in a picture he had drawn, of them on their unicycles, she as an angel above herself, a rainbow arcing over the three figures. His sadness affected me. I felt like I could only be sad through other people. Where is my sadness? Where is my grief? Good grief, bad grief, no grief? Alternatives to grief.

[yoongi-sugaglider]

Daegu Quarantine

Jungkook x reader

Gang/ zombie apocalypse au

Warnings:

Gore, violence, zombies, mention of drugs and drug dealing, weapons discharge in self defense, main character death, zombies, course language, zombies, drinking, did I mention zombies?

Summary:

They were the top of their game, known throughout the city as the smartest and most dangerous crew to ever hit the Daegu streets. But what’s going to happen when this group of young men encounter something right out of a horror film?

Word count:2278

Part 8===Part 9===Part 10

Chapter 9

The house was quiet. Far too quiet.

We’d made it back home without much incident, besides a few more bodies to feed the carrion birds.

Jeanette was roomed up with me and Jungkook had taken to rooming with Jimin to give Yoongi time to grieve and honestly the female presence was a balm on the ache in my soul.

I’d seen two men I was incredibly close to lose their lives to the same infection that had taken Yoongi’s first love and as I sat at the edge of my bed in the darkness of the night I realized that there had been nothing I could do to change any of it.

Deciding I’d had enough of the silence of my bedroom, only occasionally interrupted by Jeanette’s snores, I made my way down to the kitchen. Padding along the still halls I wrapped my terrycloth bathrobe around me, huddling against the chill of night as I sought out something warm to soothe me.

To my surprise though I wasn’t the only one seeking out the safety of the kitchen. Yoongi sat at the wide marble island, face lit by the glow of his cell phone screen as he nursed a glass of what I could only guess was his favorite liquor.

“Yoongi?” I whispered, knowing better than to sneak up on the professional killer in the dark.

He gave barely a grunt in acknowledgement, nodding to the bar stool beside him as he slid over a second ice filled glass.

“How did you…”

“Heard the sighing from all the way down the hall, figured you were still awake.”

I smiled at him, though he wasn’t looking at me to see and sat down beside him. Cupping the glass with my hands I sighed subconsciously as my gaze drew to the shadowed poison sweating in the glass before me. 

“Go figure, I was looking for something warm and ended up with an ice cold chill heading down my throat.”

Yoongi chuckled, “Somebody out there’s got one hell of a sick sense of humor huh?”

I glanced up to him, tilting my head to the side in confusion as I struggled to make sense of what he’d just said.

He placed his phone gently on the counter top, dark gaze now searching blindly for my face in the dark.

“Here we are living at the end of the world, clinging desperately to any and everyone we ever loved and I have to come across the one woman I didn’t want to see, only to reconcile with her and then have her die in my arms.” His laugh came out more like a harsh bark this time, as if he were trying to hold back a sob.

I looked down to see a picture of Daphne staring back at me. She seemed to be standing with Yoongi in the multicolored haze of a night club. Both were grinning at the camera and while she held up what looked to be a glass of orange juice Yoongi held up a tumbler filled to the brim with some nameless dark liquor.

“Those of us that shine the brightest are usually the first to fall.” I whispered, tearing my gaze from the phone to throw back the liquor in my glass. I listened to the ice smack together as I slammed the glass on the counter, glaring at the clear cubes as if they could answer for the universe’s crimes.

Yoongi huffed in acknowledgement of my statement, fingertips drumming out a rhythm on the marble. We sat in silence for a while, both lost to our own demons. Eventually the phone screen dimmed, plunging us into the seclusion of darkness only interrupted by the refilling of one glass or another.

I began to feel a buzzing in my veins, not in the least unpleasant but entirely welcome as the haze of fuck it all spread over my mind. Slouching into my chair I laid my cheek against the cool island table top. Tucking my hands into the relative warmth of my bathrobe I sighed, closing my eyes and tuning my hearing in to the sounds echoing in the spacious kitchen around me. The humming of the refrigerator as the compressor kicked in, the subtle inhale of Yoongi as oxygen filled his lungs.

Honestly it wasn’t uncomfortable,the silence between us. We didn’t speak much on a day to day basis, more in tuned to respecting each others roles than trying to butt heads over seniority. Yoongi seemed content enough to let Jungkook lead, preferring the safety of his room to the hustle and bustle of the rest of those that came and went from our home. But when it came to crunch time we’d all learned very quickly that Yoongi was nothing if not loyal and fully and insanely deadly when it came to getting his missions done.

I didn’t notice though, lost in my thoughts as I was, that Yoongi had stiffened in his chair beside me. Body on high alert and ears tuned in to the various noises of the house he slowly swiveled in his seat, eyes now intensely piercing the darkness of the doorway that lead to the rest of the house.

In an instant he was on his feet, pistol drawn from god only knows where and a hand gripping me so quickly and shoving me protectively behind him that I could have sworn I got whiplash to add to the other aches and pains that my body was trying to recover from.

“Show yourself. Stop sneaking the fuck around or I swear I’m putting a bullet right between your eyes.”

A squeak of fear echoed down the hall, the voice one I’d become pretty familiar with in the hours since we’d gotten back.

“Christ Yoongi. It’s just Jeanette.” I pulled his arm down, shooting him a glare which he returned with the proper amount of shame as he flipped the safety back on.

Walking around him I pulled the poor scared woman from the shadows, murmuring whispered words of calm to her as I led her over to the stool I’d been occupying.

“I… I woke up from a nightmare and I was alone...so I thought I’d come down here to make some hot cocoa.” She hugged her torso, body shivering in the cold of the kitchen.

Yoongi moved quickly, tugging his overly large sweater off and wrapping it tightly around her shoulders.

“No, Yoongi it’s okay.” She tried to push it back into his hands, moving as if to get up. “If I’m interrupting something I can just...go back to …”

“Hush now, we were just keeping each other company. I think we could all use a nice hot drink huh?” I glanced over at him, nodding to the stove.

He understood quickly, turning the dim light of the stove on so as to not have to wake the whole house. He went to work, pulling a large sauce pan from the cabinet and setting it on the burner before moving to the fridge and pulling out one of the last gallons of unfrozen milk.

“I’ll let Jin know to grab one from the freezers in the morning.” I told him as I moved to sit beside Jeanette.

He shot me a nod of thanks and went back to work so I turned my attention back to Jeanette.

“You said you were having nightmares? Wanna talk about it?”

Jeanette nodded, hands folded in her lap as she allowed her long, curly brown hair to fall across her eyes. “It...was about my husband. Well...him and some of my exes. My dreams are...well more memory than actual dreams. I’ve had them most of my life so I’m pretty used to them. But having to watch Dean die… it sucks yeah, him being the father of my baby and all. But honestly? There was a sick part of me that was relieved.”

She glanced up at me, eyes haunted with dark memories of a past she seemed eager to put behind her. “Is it wrong? To feel that way?”

I shook my head, pulling her close to rub some warmth into her chilled skin. “If he was as bad as you’re hinting at then no. I don’t think that relief is misplaced.”

Yoongi hummed from the stove as he stirred the cocoa into the milk. “Sometimes life just works that way. Forces us to go through the bad in order to prepare us for the worst. We learn from our mistakes and grow stronger that way. It’s just human nature.”

“Yoongi’s right. And besides. If it weren’t for him you wouldn’t have that miracle of life growing inside you right now.” I smiled down at her, hoping against hope that my own pain didn’t show through.

“Is it really alright though? To bring a life into this world? With everything going on around us, I’m only going to end up being a liability to you all.”

“Hey now.” Yoongi walked over, three mugs gripped in one hand and a can of whipped cream pointed at Jeanette in the other. “You are not now nor will you ever be a liability to us.”

“Trust in Yoongi. He’s right. The eight of us were built for fighting.” Jungkook’s voice startled Jeanette though Yoongi and I barely flinched.

“Hi baby.” I smiled, pulling away from Jeanette to cuddle into Jungkook’s warm chest as he came to stand behind me.

“Had the thought of you being a liability crossed my mind even once I’d have never let you in. Let alone allowed you to stay with us with the intent of protecting you.”

I hummed, accepting the mug of hot chocolate and the can of whipped cream from Yoongi. “We’ve trusted Jungkook to lead us for a very long time.” I paused reaching up to shoot a stream of cream into Jungkook’s mouth before passing the can over to Jeanette. “You’re safe with us Jeanette, I promise.”

“I…” she stared down into her mug, watching as the whipped cream slowly melted in the steaming beverage.

“Hey, come with me. I think I know what’s bothering you.” I stood from my chair, placing the mug on the countertop and offering the anxious woman my hand.

“Wait...you sure?” Jungkook knew me well, sensing almost instantly where my mind was leading us.

“It’s been 4 years Kookie. I’ll be fine. And besides. At least now we have some proper use for it huh?”

I turned to him, smiling past the tension in my chest and patting him on his. “Let’s go Jeanette, I’ve got something to show you. I think it might just put your mind at ease some.”

***

The boys followed us down into the basement, the both of them tense and ready for me to change my mind at any moment. But it just felt right.

I paused in front of the lone door. One I passed so often and yet rarely went inside because of how heavy it made my heart. I could hear Yoongi whispering to Jeanette as Jungkook came up beside me, an arm wrapping around me and pulling me in close as I tried to gather my wits.

“You’re really sure about this baby girl?” Jungkook whispered, thumb rubbing circles into the base of my spine as I willed the trembling in my hands to stop.

“If it’ll help her feel a bit more comfortable then yeah. Four years is too long to let grief control me.” I sighed, staring down at my hand on the doorknob before pulling myself together and opening the door.

A quick flip of the light switch revealed the room I’d been avoiding for far too long.

A bassinet sat in the corner, white lace trimmed edges swaying in the breeze of four bodies entering the room. Beside it stood a large crib, dark oak shining brightly as I walked over to trail a light touch over it’s unused surface.

I turned to Jeanette, arms sweeping out to encompass the changing table, rocking chair, and piles of boxes that I knew held diapers and clothes enough to take care of an army of babies.

“This is all yours now. So don’t worry anymore about your place in the world huh?”

Her eyes were wide and almost sparkling as she stared around at the nursery. Her lips seemed to whisper coos of adoration as her fingers danced over stuffed animals and blankets hand knit and laying in piles all along the way until she reached the crib.

“All of this…” She paused, eyes seeking out my own as if she wasn’t sure it was even real.

“Yeah...it was mine. The boys had this set up for me sort of...I guess as a shrine? But really just as a place for me to grieve when I needed to. But like I told Jungkook. Four years is long enough to grieve. You deserve to live comfortably. And so does your baby.”

She sniffed, eyes glistening with unshed tears. The next thing I knew her arms were wrapped around me and I was face first buried in the depths of her hair.

“I’m so sorry y/n.”

I shook my head, patting her back and swaying slightly as we shared a quiet moment in my grief.

I knew it would raise questions among the boys. That old wounds would be reopened and that the blame game would once again start between Taehyung and Jimin. But this ... standing in the silence of this room with Jeanette in my arms and a final sense of peace drifting over us felt right

It’s better this way...

[sadlyafanofotomegames]

A Road Paved with Bad Endings - Nameless ~The One Thing You Must Recall~

It’s been eighty years since my last one so to remind everyone this is a series about bad ends in otome games - currently I’m talking about the bad ends in Nameless and I already did Lance’s bad endings.  This one’s going to be about Yeonho’s.

Yeonho - Bought Used, Highly Damaged, Needs Proper Care

Oh Yeonho.  Sweet. sweet little Yeonho.  Made to instill mother instincts in young ladies.  Surely his route will just be ADORABLE right...right!?

Okay so Yeonho has some serious issues stemming from an extremely painful past (which is bad enough as a doll but then when translated to human terms YIKES) and most of his route is about confronting that past.  Sure there are cute moments here and there, but mainly its just about how to confront the things that were done to him and how to cope in a more healthy way.

One thing I’m not keen on is that with these kind of characters (I will elaborate on this when talking about the bad ends) I wish they just left out the romance aspect altogether.  So much of this route is about understanding Yeonho’s trauma and how it affects his view of the world, that its not until the last couple of chapters that the writers were like, “oh FUCK this is an otome game they’re supposed to date” and slapped on two or three romantic scenes.  It doesn’t help that in this route compared to the other routes it’s painfully clear that Eri favoring Yeonho can go real bad for both of them if not treated correctly.  I’m worried about them is what I’m saying.

If you are suffering from abandonment and/or other forms of abuse, this route might make you uncomfortable.  I say they do a not-bad job in confronting trauma, but that doesn’t mean it won’t be the same experience with you. 

Also two of these three ending go into the “WTF WTF WTF” end of the bad end spectrum, and they do include implied violence and assault so tread lightly.

Bad End 1 - Unforgiven Doll - Surprise!  YOU Are The First Yandere in the Game!

How to Get It

Eri.  Basic female protagonist in an otome game.  Most female protagonists in otome games range from “blank slate/silent” to “this is clearly a story about this particular gal.”  Eri falls closer to the latter half of this spectrum, but she still shows some of those tried and true female lead traits, mainly her naivete.  This isn’t just to show innocence in this route though: her naive and relaxed attitude toward Yeonho in the beginning becomes a detriment to Yeonho’s growth.  She doesn’t realize until around a quarter into the route that Yeonho’s devotion and to her isn’t just a phase, and she doesn’t know how to confront it at first.  Yeonho wakes her up every morning, makes the same rabbit-shaped eggs every morning, texts her every morning, noon and night, and it gets to the point where he refuses to leave her side.  

One rainy day, Eri’s friends finally have an opportunity to talk to her without Yeonho around.  They’re worried about both of them, and they decide to take the chance to separate them by taking Eri out while Yeonho’s on cleaning duty. Yeonho seems pretty dejected at the idea but still stays for cleaning duty.  But then...Eri gets worried and goes back.  And its a good thing she did, because Yeonho was waiting for her in the pouring rain.  

Now, you don’t have to go back right away though...you could choose to be dismissive and cold when it comes to Yeonho...its not like he’ll ever dislike you for it...

Once Yeonho’s taken inside he’s tending to by Eri.  Yeonho’s not looking so great after getting a rain shower.  He tells Eri he’s cold and doesn’t want Eri to leave but...its not a big deal right?  Leave Yeonho’s side to grab blankets.

Alternatively, you can also be dismissive of Yeonho in earlier parts as well.  At one point you can almost push Yeonho into riding big rides at a theme park  which you know Yeonho doesn’t like but refuses to admit he’s not having fun.  Because its all for Eri. 

What Happens

Seeing Yeonho shivering and sad...Yeonho who would do anything for her...Yeonho who would always be hers no matter how cruel she is...something in Eri snaps.  She WANTS to hurt Yeonho.  

Yeonho doesn’t mind right?  He’d never hate her.  When Yeonho wakes up and sees Eri...he knows what’s going to happen.  And he does let her hurt him.  And he cries.  All he wants is to be cherished.

How I Feel About This One

Honestly when it comes to otome games I expect there’s always going to be at least one route route where somebody goes yandere and/or the main girl gets killed.  But this is the first one I’ve encountered where the the main girl becomes the yandere character.  It was a real shock to me, because all of the sudden I wasn’t just causing Eri to be run over by the truck, I’m causing Eri to be cruel.  When we reach a bad end, our character’s the one who usually gets hurt the most, not the one who directly causes the hurt.  

As such while other endings are theoretically worse for Eri and some of the characters involved in their specific route, this one I just can’t stomach revisiting often.  Hearing Yeonho crying in pain and asking to be cherished makes me feel like my hearts being used as a needle ball...so as a bad end its pretty good!  7/10 stop making me feel bad please.

Bad End 2 - Competitor - Now Yeonho’s the Yandere!  But Wait!  A YANDERE CHALLENGER APPROACHES!!! (how many yanderes are in this game!?  the answer may shock you)

How to Get It

So after you stay by Yeonho’s side while he’s sick and assure him that you’re there for him and that you WON’T become a yandere things seem to start to improve.  Yeonho’s less clingy, and he’s no longer willing to be pushed around by his fans at school (btw all of the boys got fans because they’re all beautiful doll people so yeah.)  Eri’s a little concerned that Yeonho is now being too off-putting, but hey it feels like Yeonho is changing so...that’s something.

Then Eri has to go see her parents at a hotel for dinner (btw her parents travel a lot for work and are mainly based in the U.S. so she rarely sees them thus when they do come by they meet her at a hotel nearby where they usually go to for business.)  Yeonho begins to wonder if Eri’s parents, her family, matters more than him, who’s just a doll.  How can he assure himself that Eri won’t forget him?

Eri leaves promising that she won’t be long.  The visit goes fine, except uh...her parents pressure her into staying at their hotel room for way longer than she planned.  It’d be nice if you chose to say you have to go back, but choosing to stay isn’t what’ll cause the camel’s back to break in this one.  That happens when Eri returns home to see Yeonho, again, waiting for her outside.  It’s not raining, but its cold, and Yeonho looks cold both physically and emotionally.

Now I need to remind you fellows that these boys are not people first: they’re dolls first, people second.  Their world is limited by the very few experiences they had on top of a shelf.  In Yeonho’s case, his experience was being put on a literal pedestal, used essentially as a stress toy whenever his first owner got mad, left on the floor when his owner got bored of him, then left in a very badly put box for who knows how long to be sent to a new owner who, once again, puts him on a pedestal.  Eri takes great care of her dolls, but to Yeonho, this doesn’t mean she won’t abandon him like his previous owner did.  Because his previous owner seemingly treasured him too.

And with the previous bad end, we know Eri is capable of the same cruelty as the previous owner.  And even without that context what’s stopping Eri from abandoning him too?  How can he be permanent in Eri’s heart so that doesn’t happen?  Yeonho doesn’t have the means to see beyond his own experience, so he can’t see how he won’t be abandoned eventually, and even though he’s human now he still sees himself as needing to belong to someone.  What can he do?  He’s not being threatening at this point, he’s just begging for answers.

So what answer do you give?  Well, if you were listening to his plea, you tell him that no, he doesn’t need to do anything to earn love, because he’s already deserving of it.  Yeonho already holds a place in Eri’s heart, and she means that earnestly.  

...Buuuuut if you’re looking for a bad end, dismissively say “eh, just stay by my side like usual.”  This’ll calm him down right?  His deep-seated feelings aren’t that serious.  It’s fine.  It’ll be fine.  Really, it’s fine.

...So turns out it was not fine, because you didn’t give him a real answer.  He still doesn’t know how to be permanent in Eri’s heart.  So he’s going to find is own answers.  Spoilers: the answer he comes to is bad.  For both of them.  In more ways than expected.

What Happens

Oh wait, no he’s fine.  He was cool with that answer!  See, he’s smiling, although his smile is a little off, but that’s fine, because me and Eri are sure that he’ll just go back to his usual self by morning.  Time to go to bed.  

Fun Fact: There’s a diary entry in Eri’s journal that only appears in this ending.  Check it out before Eri closes her eyes.  It’ll be awkward to read it after Yeonho tries to choke Eri to de-oh-OH GAWD YEONHO’S CHOKING ERI TO DEATH!

Another Fun Fact: If you want to revisit this bad ending save right after you made the bad choice.  For some reason in the Memories (the menu that lets you revisit past events) it starts in the middle of the bad ending!  

So it turns out the answer Yeonho came to was, “I guess I need to be a yandere” and kill Eri.  BTW despite being advertised in the Crobidoll line as “babey” for some reason he was given the ability to see ghosts?  So I’m guessing his plan was to have Eri’s spirit tethered to him so she literally can never leave (and thus in his eyes abandon) him.

Funny thing about Yeonho: he’s referenced as similar to a chick a lot in this game.  He’s got corn yellow hair that’s feathery and he’s got big ol’ red eyes.  Except...when he’s chocking Eri, suddenly his eyes don’t look so cute.  His pupils literally shrink.  They’re no longer the eyes of a chick, but the eyes of a snake. 

So Yeonho kills Eri.  Bad End reached.  Pretty typical of a bad ending in an otome game, huh?

Well, JUST KIDDING Tei barges in and stops Yeonho from completing the task.  Phew Eri was saved.  That was close.  Good thing someone as kind and dependable as Tei arrived to help her out right...right?  

Ha...haha...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!

Surprise! Turns out Tei is the Alpha Yandere ‘round these parts.

Friends...may I introduce you to...Bad End Tei?  He’s going to be a regular on the series.  In fact he’s probably the main character in this Nameless Bad End Journey.  He’s a constant shadow that looms across almost all the bad paths we follow.  Just remember in this series we’re going to be talking only about Bad End Tei, not all of who Tei is.  If you want me to talk more about Tei as a whole character you’ll have to wait until we get to Tei’s bad endings, which, spoilers, have a lot of Bad End Tei in it too.  You cannot escape Bad End Tei.

Anyway back to what was SUPPOSED to be Yeonho’s Yandere moment.

After stopping Yeonho from killing Eri, Tei starts by saying he’s dissapointed...at Eri?  She really shouldn’t have let herself be hurt.  Kinda victim-blamey there Bad End Tei.  After all, I’M the one who almost got her choked to death here.  No need to blame her!

Secondly Tei wants nothing more than for Eri, his owner, to be safe.  But if she does get hurt...it should be him who does the hurting.  The reason for this is explained further in later bad endings and in Tei’s Route, but in this ending we discover that Tei is just as obsessed with his owner as Yeonho is.  Difference is Bad End Tei doesn’t need to be remembered by Eri, or even have a place in her heart.  What he wants is Eri herself, and to have that he wants control of her pain.  So when someone else tries to cause Eri pain...well that’s stealing his control of her pain, and that just won’t do.  

Unlike Yeonho, who ultimately just wants to belong to Eri and to never be abandoned by her, Bad End Tei wants Eri to belong to him the same way he belongs to her.   

It’s ironic that a doll wants ownership over the doll’s owner huh.  Feels like maybe bringing dolls to life wasn’t exactly what its cracked up to be.  

Anyway if Eri’s going to get hurt, then there was no reason for Tei to have held back for so long.  If this was going to happen, he should have hurt Eri when this all started.  He justifies that he can hurt Eri better than Yeonho can (weird flex but ok) and its getting late so could Yeonho like, leave?  And even Yeonho in yandere mode is taken aback.  But then he’s like, “No wait I’M the yandere in this bad ending!” and tries to attack Tei.

Tei doesn’t want to hurt or even touch anyone that’s not Eri, but since Yeonho won’t be good and go to bed he’ll just have to put him down.  Even though all the dolls are in human form now, their doll forms are still on Eri’s shelf.  And doing things to the doll forms affects their human forms.  So, instead of going after Yeonho the human...he grabs Yeonho the doll.  And squeezes.

Meanwhile Eri is, quite justifiably, shocked and disgusted by all this.  Yeonho’s a yandere?  Tei’s a yandere?  I could be a yandere!?  How many yandere’s are in this game!? 

While Tei is committing doll homicide he says since Eri’s good at keeping her hobbies (collecting dolls) a secret from her friends, it shouldn’t be hard to pretend that everything’s fine from now on.  Of course, she doesn’t have to pretend she loves him.  So long as Tei can have her, he doesn’t care.

After the deed is done, Tei approaches her.  Eri desperately wants this to all be a dream, but when Tei holds her face she knows its real.  Tei tells her to be quiet and asks if she’d ready.  The last thing we hear is a chime, and the scene fades out.

How I Feel About This One

So this has to be one of my favorite bad endings.  I mean what happens in it makes me go “WTF WTF AAAAAAGH” but in an interesting way, ya know?  The kind that makes my hair stand on end.  It’s a story in and of itself.  The set-up, the plot twist, the monologue, just...mwah.  Perfect.  It’s exactly what I want in my bad endings.

Plus if you’re doing the bad endings in order, this’ll be the first time you see Bad End Tei.  You don’t see Bad End Tei in the routes themselves (outside of his and Red’s, which is only unlocked after you complete all the other routes so at that point you had to have seen Bad End Tei) but suddenly there’s hints of Bad End Tei throughout all of his encounters.  I didn’t say this in Lance’s Bad End Post, but a part of me thinks that maybe Tei had something to do with what happened to Lance in one of his bad endings...there’s no proof, but still.  He was in the room with Lance by themselves when Eri left so...who knows.

This also hints at also aspects of the story.  Bad End Tei’s an obvious hint to who Tei is as a character, but there’s also the use of the doll bodies, and that chime at the end.

Anyway this Bad Ending sets up Bad End Tei’s character in the most dramatic and creepy of ways and if every otome game had bad endings as good (well, not good in that way but-you know what I mean!) as this one this series would never end.  I mean, it won’t if I post every four to five months.  

Also what makes me appreciate this one is that it cuts off before we see what happens to Eri, and it doesn’t go into detail on what Bad End Tei did to Yeonho either.  If we had detailed descriptions of whatever happened I might not have stomached it.  Implication are far more sinister than outright statements.  This is also one of the only Bad End Tei endings where Eri’s vocal about how messed up this is.

Bad End 3 - Disappeared Yeonho - That’s It.  Pretty Anticlimactic Compared to the Previous Endings

How to Get It

So Eri takes Yeonho’s worries seriously and no one turns yandere and Bad End Tei stays firmly in the back of Tei’s mind (btw after you make the good choice with Yeonho once they go back inside Tei gives Yeonho some comforting words.  At their worst they can be cruel to each other, but when they’re not at that breaking point they do have this solidarity with each other, both having previous owners before Eri.)  Things start to improve a lot.  Yeonho can now enjoy things outside of Eri, and is back to being willing to hang out with others.  He’s grown a great deal, and the people around him notice.  Things are looking up for Yeonho and Eri now.

Of course, then the writers realize, “wait romance” and Yeonho needs to like Eri now.  Not as a doll loves their owner, but as a person wanting to be with another person...okay I don’t hate it when its put that way, but I still feel like this wasn’t necessary.  Let me remind you, Yeonho tried to kill Eri in a bad ending because of his fear of her forgetting him.  He was so desperate to remain at her side, and then things get better, but even after all that he still wants to refer to her as “Master” while trying to pursue a romantic relationship with her.  All I’m saying is maybe give each other a little distance for a just a tiiiiiiny bit to figure things out before going into this yeah?

Still they’re pretty cute together in the end.  Things don’t get nearly as saucy as it did in Lance’s route, and its all very innocent and sweet.  I don’t hate it.  Now Tei on the other hand-

Alright alright back to how this bad end goes down.  Before Yeonho confesses to Eri there’s a school festival and he has a fortune reading stand.  (Also aside from seeing ghosts he can also read tarot cards and talk to animals.)  After he read your fortune he tries to make a move, but then a very haughty girl barges in to get her fortune read.  Suddenly Yeonho clams up and runs away.

Where did he go!?  Eri could check the rooftop, where he’s likely to be at...or she can just give up and see if he came home.  

...That’s it.  That’s all it takes.

What Happens

So Yeonho never came home.  They made missing photos and everything!  Where could he be...?

...Yeah that’s it.

How I Feel About This One

Honestly I don’t feel like this one needed to be there.  Maybe it’s because if they didn’t, then for the last few chapter there’d be no need for choices.  But they did that with Lance!  In Lance’s route after the play there’s no choice for the last few chapter, and while he has the shortest amount of bad endings, they both are still creepy and at least a little intense.  Why didn’t they do the same for Yeonho?

I don’t know.  I don’t hate it.  It’s like, nothing terrible happened to characters I love, which is nice, but that’s not what bad endings are for!  They’re supposed to make you feel bad and maybe give you the heebie jeebies!  Or they’re supposed to fulfill some fantasy in a safe way like they do sometimes in Mystic Messenger!  Or be a joke ending where you at least get a chuckle before having to restart!  I don’t know!  Give me Yeonho joining a ghost detective agency with a cat sidekick running away from his past!  Something!  ANYTHING!!!

Anyway overall I really do like Yeonho’s route in its emotionally heartfelt moments and really disturbed by the intensity of some of its bad endings (which make them pretty good in my book!)  Now we move on to Yuri’s route where I need to turn off Yuri’s voice in the options menu to pull through it!  WAHOOO!!!

[a-wandering-ghoulette]

MyRock ; issue n°44 (Jan/Feb 2017) A Nameless Ghoul from Ghost interview.

Photos: Manon Violence Interview: Mark Renton

2017 has been the year of all records for Ghost! After an exceptional concert at Hellfest, a nicely lead Download Festival (despite voice problems) and a France tour still in minds, the band then launched a triumphal American tour. Meanwhile, the satanic clergy also draw its awesome “Popestar”, EP lead with drums beating by the heady single “Square Hammer”. Telephonical talk with one Nameless Ghoul to take stock on the past, the present and future of this definitely fascinating band.

//Before continuing, note this issue is still available for international orders on their online shop. Direct link to this issue’s page in source! Don’t be surprised by the first cover shown there, it’s litteraly a two covered mag… The mag is meant to be read in 2 time: you start by one side, no matter which one, and when you reach the middle, you have to close it and flip it then tadaaa you have more to read on the 2nd side!//

(Read the full interview under the cut and feel free to point out mistakes!)

Hello, who’s calling? Nameless Ghoul: Hello! I’m one of the Nameless Ghouls.

Which one? Which instrument do you play in the band? N.G. : I’m our clergy’s official spokesperson. I’m also Ghost’s founder, main composer and, most of the time, I play guitar.

How do you feel at the approach of Papa Emeritus III’s end of reign? Because there’ll certainly be a new Papa Emeritus soon… N.G. : You’re right, we’re close to the end of a cycle. Personally, I always saw change as a good thing. It’s stimulating. We still have a lot of concerts to give in 2017, but I think I can safely say that at the end of the next year, all Nameless Ghouls will be tired of Papa Emeritus III! It’ll be nice to see a new leader coming to guide us.

How would you describe the personality of Papa Emeritus III compared to his predecessors? N. G. : First of all, Papa Emeritus III is an entertainer! He loves projectors, he loves the public, and he loves success. The first Papa Emeritus was someone very rigid, very strict, and very solemn. A real son of a bitch! (laughs) To be honest, we don’t miss him at all! Papa Emeritus II was a pervert a little bit sadistic, and, in hindsight, I think he wasn’t very at ease on stage. He wasn’t a showman, unlike Papa Emeritus III! Him, he’s the guide we missed to rise up the quality of our shows, to reach the step above and communicate with our fans. We will be eternally thankful for his work. I believe he have paved the way for his successor…

Precisely, what are you waiting from the future Papa Emeritus IV? N.G. : Well, I want him to be scary. That he bring back something more tenebrous, while remaining spectacular. Broadly speaking, I want the next album to come back to a gloomier atmosphere.

Fueled by ego

On a more personal viewpoint, what is your relationship with your character? N.G. : What’s exciting me the most with Ghost, it’s that the project is a real challenge for the individuals involved. Everybody is on an equal footing. Furthermore, there’s something really thrilling to embody a character which is a part of yourself, but never totally you. Traditionally, rock stars always reach the point where they fuse with their creature. In the end, rock’s always been fueled by ego. Even if you’re part of a fully honest and underground band, you’ll always have this desire to be under the spotlights, to be recognize, famous and loved. Those pretending the contrary are liars. Roughly, no matter the music you make, you all secretly dream to be a kind of Justin Bieber. (laughs) To be masked is something very different. It’s a kind of anomaly in the entertainment system. Because every day, you never receive the admiration you deserve. When I’m not on stage with Ghost, I’m going back in anonymity. It’s very positive for me. I would say, my character brings me some stability in my daily life. But I’m aware my case is a bit special since I’m Ghost’s main composer and thus I’ll always be linked in a way or another to this project. But being in the obscurity is sometime more complicated to manage for the other Nameless Ghouls…

This mystery surrounding Ghost inevitably attracts the fans curiosity. This year, some of them started a vast quest to discover your identities. We imagine it’s part of the game, but what are you feeling regarding it? N.G. : From the beginning, we knew it’ll be impossible to keep the secret until the end. It’s already a miracle we held this long. (laughs) Personally, it doesn’t matter. I think the work accomplished pays its own way. I mean, our albums, our concerts and our universes are that strong they succeed to supplant the reality. Today, people don’t care to know who’s under Papa Emeritus’ hat. When they come to see us play, they want the real Papa. It’s a bit like if our creature ended up escaping us to live its own life.

2017 has been a successful year for Ghost, with appearances in huge festivals, a colossal American tour and the worldwide success of the EP “Popestar”. How did you live that? N.G. : This year has been amazing on every points, really! We’ve been able to see how much the band has grown by federating more fans. However, I’m not someone who contemplate our success and congratulate myself. The past doesn’t interest me. But the future does. When we take a step forward I always try to have in mind the next one. 5 years ago, we played at the Olympia supporting In Flames and Trivium. It happens that on 11 April next we’ll come back, this time as the headliner. But instead of rejoicing, I like to tell myself: “OK, it’s cool, but what I really want to do is Bercy!”. And if one day we make it to Bercy as the headliner, I know in a corner of my head there’ll be the Stade de France. I’m ambitious. (laughs)

I come from extreme metal.

Ghost is one of the rare bands to link metal to the general public. Do you think it explains this popularity? N.G. : I think, yes. We see more and more diversity in the public at our gigs. Of course, there are metalheads with long hair and battle jacket, but there are also hipsters, girls who usually listen to pop music, and alternative rock lovers. I find it fantastic. You know, musically, I come from extreme metal. It’s been in my genes since my teenage years. I listen to many other things, but it’s where I come from. It’s my identity and it’s what forged my mentality. At the point that, when Ghost began to be successful, I started to feel guilty. I had that feeling I transgressed underground metal’s tactical rules, which are systematic rejection of success and popularity. It took me a lot of abnegation to understand success isn’t nefarious, on the contrary, it’s the reward for an hard work. And deep down I think I was scared to be rejected by my own community, to be treated like a sellout.

Have you ever been confront to animosity from fundamentalists metalheads? N.G. : Oh yes, mostly now! On internet, some start to let their hate flow on Ghost. But it’s OK, I understand. Myself, if I wasn’t in the band, I think I would hate Ghost. (laughs) Because in metal, once a band makes money, they’re sellout. It’s like this and I accept it. It’s also an old metalhead’s thing. People who were here during the rise of the extreme genres grew up with a certain code of conduct, with a more rigid thinking. By the way, I’m going to tell you a secret: some of my best friends abhor Ghost. They hate the band. They don’t understand what we do, they think it’s crap. But it’s nothing. They can. They stay my friends after all. (laughs) It’s different with kids, they are more open minded. But in hindsight, I’m figuring out that me too, in my daily life, I’m an old fart. (laughs) I listen to a small amount of new things. Nothing give me more joy than a good old “Master of Puppets”, a “Seven Churches” by Possessed, or a King Diamond, my hero!

King Diamond & Merciful Fate.

Would you say King Diamond was the biggest inspiration for Ghost, in terms of theatricality? N.G. : Indeed! As far as I remember, I’ve always listened to King Diamond and Merciful Fate. At home, my mother listened to a lot of 60’s and 70’s classic rock, like Beatles, Rolling Stones and Led Zeppelin. My brother, him, listened to harder stuff like AC/DC, Sex Pistols, Rainbow… I liked all of this, but when my neighbor introduce me to King Diamond I had the feeling to be someone special. I was listening to this crazy stuff that no one else knew at home! I was 8 and, at this age, as you can imagine, I was very marked by his albums’ visuals. King Diamond is the one who open me the door to this gloomy universe which is now find in Ghost.

Kid from the 80’s.

We also guess an interest for the 80’s! If previously you made a cover of Depeche Mode, your EP “Popestar” offer us covers of Echo & The Bunnymen and Eurythmics. N.G. : I’m a kid from the 80’s, it’s the soundtrack of my life. I think it’s mostly thanks to the radio, which was always switch on at home. I like all classics: Mike Oldfield, Nik Kershaw, Eurythmics, Midnight Oil… When I was a teenage, I kind of liked to show of and act like a thoug one who only listen to extreme metal, but secretly, in my bedroom, I listened to Duran Duran, Spandau Ballet and Bronski Beat. (laughs) And, in the end, Ghost is exactly this: a mix of Kiss, Depeche Mode and Merciful Fate with a bit of Pink Floyd over it, especially “The Piper at the Gates of Dawn” and “A Saucerful of Secrets”.

On your last EP, there is the heady single “Square Hammer”. It’s the first time you embrace that clearly pop’s codes. Is this song representative of the sound you would like to have on the next album? N.G. : You know, album after album, each time we ask ourselves how far we can go. It was already the case with “Infestissumam”. At the time, we wondered if the song “Ghuleh/Zombie Queen” wasn’t too much. After a moment of hesitation we were like “Fuck! Black Sabbath made ballads so why not us?”. On “Meliora”, we wondered if there weren’t too many ballads. Then, when we composed “Square Hammer”, we found the title too direct, too effective. We were scared our fans wouldn’t understand. We’ve always had this metalhead consciousness tugging us. But in the end, we thought a good song is a good song, no matter the shape. So to answer your question, I think our next disc will wander further more into these melodies, indeed.

You have a break until the resumption of the tour, on March. Will you write the new album while you’re at it? N.G. : Of course! I’m already on it, I have some new songs…  And a good idea where I want to go with this album, but it’s too early to talk about it. The problem is the 2017 tour will extend and I’m not sure we’ll have the time to finish the recording before going back on the roads. I think we’ll finish it in late 2017, with a potential release in 2018. Earlier seems difficult to me! All I can tell you is that visually, the next album’s imagery will come back to something way darker than “Meliora”.

What can we expect for your next date at the Olympia, on 11 April next? N.G. : I saw today that our concert is sold out, it’s amazing! It’ll be very alike shows we gave in the USA this year. We have a stage structure more sizable compared to the last time we came in France. Visually, the show will be impressive, but we’ll also play some rare titles. The only deception is we won’t have the pyrotechnical effects, because they aren’t authorized at the Olympia. So it’ll has to work doubly hard! You know, we love to play in France. We are always very well hosted here. Moreover, what I most loved since the release of “Meliora” it’s to play again and again in France. I really saw our public grow out there when it comes to Hellfest or Rock en Seine. To feel appreciated like this is the greatest reward. Furthermore, the food is succulent in France, people are lovely and you have this attitude a bit impertinent which is rather close to that of Ghost. France, it’s our second home. We’re eager to be back at the Olympia and to party with you! (Translator note: Ooooh you and your sweet like honey words~ We love you too, dear.)

Bonus anecdote:

(Almost) naked with James Hetfield! Our new friend Nameless Ghoul is an ultimate fan of Metallica. Before becoming friend with James Hetfield, he met him in circumstances rather… embarrassing: “Metallica, it’s the greatest band in the world! I hadn’t have time to fully savor their last album but I’m so happy to know they’re alive and in great shape.  It also means they will tour, and thus we’ll get the occasion to meet on the road. James Hetfield has been one of Ghost’s first supports. I had the chance to meet him several times, and since we often message each other. The first time he’s been introduced to me, the situation was rather… surrealistic. We were in our lodge, changing ourselves, and here come James Hetfield suddenly appearing by the door to say hi. And you know what? I was in underwear! It was the most embarrassing situation of my life! I was there, in underwear, in front of my greatest idol! How embarrassing!”