#listen i just want respect ok
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#p4#persona 4#hanamura yosuke#yosuke hanamura#EVERYDAY IM HOWLING. EVERYDAY IM SCREAMING.#for context this comes at the heel of yosuke charging at mitsuo kubo in rage because of his flippance towards killing saki and he's hit har#but souji and kanji jump in to protect him#like ok a lot of things going on here such as the obvious OH MY GODDDD yosuke being yosuke and taking things on for himself#because he doesn't want to bother people?? because he's made it his own responsibility? because his survivor's guilt is still lingering?#i mean don't tell me he doesn't look at how he surrendered to his shadow like apart from his self-sacrificing propensity#i low key feel like everytime yosuke demands answers about saki's death from the murderer/god/etc there's this undertone of how#he would rather it have been him#he cheapens his own life so much and for what#BUT ALSO!! ALSO!! not just souji jumping in because we know he would he's down bad for yosuke BUT ALSO KANJI#listen you've all heard me talk so much about how i adore kanji yosuke friendships#i can't really tell whether it's kanji or souji that says “haven't we earned your trust yet” but it's a line that hits SO HARD#regardless of which one of them was saying it and i think it hits hard in slightly different manners#it's kanji's admiration and how he looks up to yosuke and how he wants to be closer to yosuke as a friend/kouhai/whatever you want#tatsumi “who's your partner now!” kanji has so much respect for yosuke he wants yosuke to rely on him too!!!#and this stands out because kanji is very conscious of social hierarchies and such but as a kouhai as yosuke's junior#he's so specific about wanting yosuke to treat him as an equal#i smtimes feel bad for kanji because he has a bit of that vibe of a poor puppy trailing after souyo because he wants to be in their convos!#he wants to be included! but critically he also just! wants them to SEE him!!#going a lil off tangent but i think kanji's attitude towards souji is very much one of kouhai respect like he understands his place#of like deferring to souji or getting advice from him and just generally regarding him as a reliable mentor#and it's the same with chie and yukiko? but idk man. with yosuke. guys. with yosuke i always feel like kanji wants to break that hierarchy#that convention. that social norm. to cross a line and be closer to yosuke.#he's more willing to tease yosuke in a way he doesn't with the other 2nd years. and this isn't coming from a place of disrespect either#AGAIN. KANJI REALLY LIKES YOSUKE. he wants to protect yosuke!!! he jumps at the opportunity for yosuke to rely on him!!#i'm getting delulu but there's those hints of “yosuke senpai i want you to see me as a man!!!” kind of energy here and i'm it's yknow hmm
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Funny how all it takes is a couple of conversations with a cis straight man about gender to make me go "yup I'm definitely not cis"
#listen I adore my stepfather ok but he's got a pretty traditional view of gender#he's very respectful of others and doesn't enforce it on anyone else#and I think it's not that toxic all things considered bc he sees 'manhood' as being primarily about being hard working and protecting other#but it's still very gender essentialist#and he sees a lot of things as 'man things' and 'woman things'#and talks about skills and roles that are 'men's'#and I'm just like well but I do a lot of those things. but I identify with a lot of the things you describe.#and he tries to go around it like 'ahh well but you have personal history with that' etc etc#we get along really well tho we don't fight or anything but it's interesting to me#it makes me realize just how much I'm outside of the binary in the eyes of cis people#and how much 'trying to be a man' or 'trying to be a woman' are things that hold no emotional meaning to me(personally)#I could not care less what makes me masculine or feminine or if either of those labels are revoked for some reason#taking on the label of woman or man feels like a burden to me bc it always comes with a set of expectations#I just wanna be me yk. I just want people to see me through the lens of 'this is a person'#'this is what this person likes. this is how this person behaves'#I just wanna turn off gender. can I do that? like just flip a switch and no one perceives me as anything anymore#in a perfect world maybe#sleep.txt#I honestly still don't fully understand how I feel about gender but. I know that I don't like being put into a box#the box is Evil.
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Also just because you get annoyed by something someone is doing doesn't mean they are evil you can leave us alone
#this is about autistic people.#that guy in you class that is always asking questions? he always raises his hand theres nothing wrong with it#it takes time in the class but that's how he makes sure he understands the subject#and meanwhile every other student decides hes an asshole#that girl who doesnt blink and who cant seem to have a linear conversation is not doing anything wrong#you dont like interacting with her but that doesnt say anything about her you can leave her alone you dont have to bitch behind her back#that person cant read social cues? why are you getting mad? can you shut the fuck up?#it is insane how often some of my friends talk about people who are clearly autistic and are mad at them#no its not because theyre autistic theyre just always interupting!#its not because theyre autistic they just make me uncomfortable! PLEASE LISTEN TO YOURSELF#i swear youre all asshole to us#no respect fr#its so annoying to see you run in a circle trying to justify calling someone an ass for doing literally nothing wrong#youre allowed to feel how you want about other people but you always jump to bullying#and whenever i try to make them realize they get so deffensive#just because you grew up with an autistic brother does not make you a fucking expert youre not even close to him!!#ok sorry im gonna go hit my bong im getting too angry lol
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What if Wakasa was a reformed antagonist before he joined Black Dragons...
#pen rambles#wakasa imaushi#i don't believe there's a good or bad guy here bc they're all delinquents committing juvenile crimes#but here me out 😭#i'm really trying to figure how waka got to be leader even tho he doesn't seem like the kind of person to have that drive#(benkei def did knowing he's the 3rd gen leader of ragnarok prob climbing up their ranks)#waka comes off more to me as someone who aloofly got to have a gang and be the leader bc he's strong enough to beat ppl he didn't like#and he just did whatever he wanted bc he can#guys respected him for it and he didn't mind being followed anyway#until he met shinichiro and figured maybe he could do something sort of good in his life (maybe he should start caring more..)#the character arc would've just been so sweet yk?#not to mention his greatest rival/enemy becomes his best friend 🥹#also the tragedy in og tl where waka regresses and becomes a yakuza like how he started out in kodo rengo 🥲🥲🥲#ok that's it thanks for listening to my ted talk jdksks
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if a muay thai instructor doesnt let u wear handwraps as a 'ground rule' since they're aiming for 'wrist conditioning' and when i ask if its a problem that i still do he says 'haha. Yes' is that a major concern yes or yes
#I SHOULD CHOOSE WHICH PARTS OF MY BODY TO CONDITION OR NOT CONDITION ??????#and yeah wrist strength would be great but you know what also gives me that#wraps.#which i'd wear in a fight anyway but i don't fight i just do this as a hobby and form of exercise#sorry it protects so much more than just the wrists and taking the risk of not using them is far worse for me than missing out on#a bit of conditioning#'oughhh its for wrist strength' so if i fracture my hand again and bring back those tendon problems it's ok if i have meaty wrists#if they want to suggest it thats fine but he actually would not let me if i tried to wear them again at a second class#the coaches know way more than i do i've got absolutely no idea compared to them#but i do have the choice of whether or not i protect myself#and i'll choose to do what has kept me free from injury for many years now#so now i have to send some dramatic text like heyyyy i respect your rules but won't put myself at unnecessary risk so if you#don't want me back that's fine <3#helppp maybe i'm being dramatic sorry asking everyone in the class#including beginners#to wear no wraps for 'conditioning' is so so stupid#people will get hurt#rant into the void over thanks for listening skhjdbcsjd
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she's so arrogant and annoying and hot it pisses me off !!!
#like have some shame omg . have some respect#shes soooo certain i will date her she keeps saying shes not worried she doesnt care etc etc bc she knows i want to date her#not even that. she Declared we were dating. like when i was like do u even want this. not just going on dates but acc dating. and she was#like wdym? im already dating you . like ok??? i wasnt informed ig#anyway i said she was arrogant and she said she knows so.#also she did several things when she was drunk that i found cringe/i personally would b embarrassed if i was her but she just found it funn#like genuinely does she have no sense of shame#also her reasoning is that shes too hot to be rejected and since im talking to her instead of... not that makes her certain that#no matter what i say i wont reject her#WHICH MAKES ME WANT TO REJECT HER. DONT TELL ME WHAT I WANT OR WHAT TO DO. UGH.#I WANT TO FIGHT HER FR MEIN GOTT#also i want her to be more romantic i literally told her im not asking her out on the next date lmao#also if we do end up dating properly i have to swear and oath never to argue w her and just communicate slowly and clearly bc imagine#lawyer and philosophy student get into an argument and theyre both scorpios. insane combination imo#INSUFFERABLE. she was also 40 mins late and tbf she did warn me and keep me updated but i was still rly mad at her bc#i was waiting for so long . and i was like . listen im gonna leave. and she walked thru the door. but anyway she apologised but also she#said no ones ever threatened to leave her b4. what do you mean before?? anyway i told her to respect my time more and she was like i cant#believe im being told off by a 21 yr old like bitch ur literally 24 stop acting ancient fuck off#UGH SHES SO IRRITATING. WHY DOESNT SHE CALL ME MORE.#crushposting
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thank you big joel and if books could kill podcast for digging into the five love languages. truly one of those concepts that are like Yeah Sounds About Right because of course people feel loved and love in different ways!!! but then it turns out it comes from a book written by a fundamentalist priest guy and it's like OK SO HE JUST MADE THOSE CATEGORIES UP HUH.
#look i can write an essay about giftgiving as a love language#but it essentially boils down to showing that you know and understand someone and thought about them#recieving a bad and thoughtless gift does not make you feel loved!#and sometimes not giving someone a gift because you know they'd rather not recieve one shows a lot of love!!#so when you take everything apart it's just. knowing what preferences someone has and respecting them and making an effort#the context and quality matters always!!!!!#is sending someone a meme a form of gift giving or spending quality time!!!!#what is making a mixtape!! asking if they remembered their meds!!!#what's taking your time to listen to them vent about a bad day!! what's remembering and taking note of small things about them!!!#what's asking if they want a piece of scrap for their scrapbook or if it's ok to throw away!!!#love is the mortifying ordeal of being known!!!!!!!
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rant <3
#so i told my friend im thinking abt engaging more in my christian community again starting w going to church more and visiti g exchanges etc#she kniws abt basically all my other friends being more than less religious and active in their respective communities#+ my family being religious even during soviet times and she even kniws abt the orthodox side of my family#so this shouldnt surprise her this much#why is she trying to talk me out of it saying christianity is evil and she cant agree to creationism like ok bitch me too#she acting as if im gonna become some republican american blonde woman or an primitive medieval peasant wthhh#and like i get it she and her family have always been agnostic and she doesnt have any personal experience with believe and faith#but that is even more reason to shut the hell up?? especially bc i just told her as like a life update i didnt want to start a discussion#w an agnostic no less#ppl like that make me so uncomfortable and then she kept saying things like this person is godless as a joke like stfu???#and kept bringing up she csnt believe in god at random times it made me so umcomfortable#especially bc now i feel hesitant to invite her to hangouts w my more 'strict' friends like idk what she thinks abt them and i dont want to#expose my friends who have to listen to enough shit to someone like that like i want my home to be a safe space for my friends#anyways thats the same girl who keeps telling me she doesnt think im white and when i tell her her saying this makes me uncomfortable#shes argues its ok bc she is not white herself ok wth im literally german/slavic how is that not white im crying#cant really articulate what exactly makes me uncomfy abt this but feels like she wants to enable me its really weird#also with tge christian stuff like ive always been religious she kniws abt me reading religious texts its so weird to me#why are you my friend if you disagree with a foundamental part of my life#maybe she thoight i was an ok one bc me and my familys approach to believe and faith is very relaxed but wth man
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when did we as a society start w the "doubles of me don't exist uu guys are just crazy and stupid" / "if uu think uu love [character] uu need to check uurself into a psych ward because they only love me" all over again
#➳ the fool speaks#like ok uu can be uncomfortable w doubles . i purrsonally do nawt relate but if those are uur boundaries i will listen to them bc that is#basic respect . but uhm . can we . purrhaps . nawt be ableist about it and throw around insults like that .#this isn't directed at all btw i've just noticed a massive influx of doubles being referred to as non-existent/insane/crazy/delusional/etc#which . wasn't that part of dnis a few months ago ??#shrugs#it just feels weird like ok idk man uu are ru.i and he's one of my main fragments or uur lyn.ette and even tho she's one of my lesser#fragments uu still don't want me to interact ? (RANDOM EXAMPLES) sure idm those are uur valid boundaries#but being called insane feels a little disheartening#and uu are allowed to be uncomfortable and i know for some it is highly distressing to interact w doubles which again . VALID .#but i think throwing an insult like that out there to somebun who maybe hasn't even followed uu yet . idk . . .#is this understandable ???? like is this making sense . am i uncomfortable for no reason . idk#ask to tag
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🍓
#umm he couldnt even be bothered to react to my messages with emojis?!?!?#like he said that he isnt up for talking and i respect that#i asked him if it's still ok for me to message him and he said 'ofc'#so i did.... i had to push myself bc im feeling like he hates me and doesnt wanna hear from me#all of my disorders saying that haha#so i pushed myself to message him when i wanted to#but.... ok i didnt expect him to reply#but he read it and didnt even give me an emoji#im aware that i sound crazy#this is just how im FEELING#i feel stupid and ashamed for thinking he even wants to listen to me yap about nonsense#i hate myself for being so stupid and sending him pics and a video of the crow i saw#like shut up dumb bitch nobody cares!!!!!!!! shut up#no wonder he cant be in love with me#im pathetic and stupid#his ex that he actually loves is probably smart and witty and cool#and would never be such a fkn loser like i an#am*#god... genuinely hate myself#why dont i know how to shut up??#definitely wont be messaging him anymore now jesus christ im so embarrassing#im still hurt tho like couldnt he at least have reacted with an emoji#is that too much to ask for......#i mean listen in any relationship#where u have disorders.. communication and BOTH ppl making an effort is needed#the only way our 'friendship' is even working is bc im just allowing him to do whatever#and im just dealing with the emotional suffering lol#he doesnt even make an effort to reassure me or anything#so yes i cant force him or ask anything of him. but i FEEL hurt by how im not worthy of anything to him#while im over here allowing him to hurt me constantly sksksk
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Just saw a bunch of atrocious wonder woman takes and I hate everything
Someone google nearest bridge to jump off of im so done w this
#people dont fucking understand the warrior culture thing and it pisses me off so much#wonder woman does no glorify violence. she does not aspire to combat or violence. peace and respect are the bedrock of amazon philosophy#the amazons are warriors for DEFENSE. specifically in that they are the reincarnated souls of victims of gender violence. who were brought#back as warriors to defend other women in the ancient world from gender violence. violence they were AGAIN subjected to when they were#captured and assaulted by heracles and his men. then the themyscirans split from the rest of the amazons bc they dont want to answer this#violence with more violence. and then they listen to the call of the gods who bring them to themyscira#and ok this part is pretty victim blamey and awful in terms of their whole assault generally but anyways on themyscira they are specifically#tasked with protecting dooms doorway and keeping the monsters there locked up. they stayed warriors to defend people#like it is ALWAYS about finding peace and doing the least harm possible. do not maim if you can subdue dont subdue if you can pacify dont#raise your hand at all until youve first extended it ET CETERA (probly mangled the quote there but you get it)#like she will always take the most peaceful option and the one that does harm. BUT if she is left with a choice between her doing harm to a#villain and the villain harming someone shell fuck whoever up. and if theres really NO other way she will kill a bitch. no regrets either#wonder woman didnt even intent to be a superhero!!! at her core shes literally an AMBASSADOR it just so happens that her culture sees#defending others from harm as a duty. so in doing that she is doing her job as an ambassador and themysciran and ofc a person#but SHE IS NOT VIOLENT. she only uses violence in the last resort to prevent violence. for defense. this is something she does bc she thinks#its right but its also an aspect of her job. which is living by themysciran culture and increasing understanding of it in mans world#shes a diplomat for christssake 😭#anyways ppl stop misinterpreting wondy and saying stupid shit abt her challenge#istg its like most people think shes like the 90s bana mighdall or artemis or something aka HER NARRATIVE FOILS like guys. please be serious#rant over i guess. why do i always do these in the tags ugh#blah#gonna make these tags a new post gimme a sec
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#ok i'm going to complain of an extremely petty thing#but i'ts eating me inside and i need to get it out without ruining my brother's day#he passed his last exam today he finished uni today and we're all very excited and happy for him he deserves it i love him#my aunt and a friend of her are coming to my house with food to celebrate this achievement#a lovely thing for them to do#my mom hasn't stopped saying how happy she is that he finished and passed all exams and she's proud and excited#all valid feelings ofc#there's special food for a special celebration for how special is my brother for finishing his studies#cute and fun#and i'm supposed to be the same level of hype (which i am don't get me wrong this IS exciting)#but here's the thing#i don't think ANYONE in my entire family has ever said ANYTHING about the fact that i graduated my university in 2018...#and they know... today in fact my aunt literally told me she didn't even know when i graduated#and listen i know this is petty and i don't want them to do a big thing that would be in fact annoying for me#but like... i can't help but think this is because what i studied was art and my brother studied programming...#you know a Proper Respectable Smart Career#while i'm here just doing silly drawings and starving to death like all artists...#i'm literally working on my field!#and i'm upset although i shouldn't be because it's stupid and the alternative would be them doing a big celebration for me#WHICH I DON'T WANT!!#so this whole rant is useless and stupid...#anyways i'm SO FUCKING PROUD OF MY BROTHER! he struggled so much with this degree and he's finally done :')#i'm getting him a present skjfsd#ok that's it#i'm done thanks for reading ksjdfhgdf#i had to say it here cause obviously i can't say any of this out loud lol#it's not only a dick move but also embarrassing af kdfjhfg#angel talks#personal
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Extremely particular Trigun fanfiction pet peeve incoming:
When authors include my man Legato Bluesummers in a fic just shove him into whatever antagonist/villain/asshole role the fic requires with no regard to his actual character/personality/backstory, ESPECIALLY when this is accounted for with every other character in the fic, it drives me up the fucking wall.
#[Text]#[Non Tag]#he did so much for the trigun story and this is how y'all treat him? rude#and they always gotta humiliate him and portray him as pathetic too#makes me want to bite people when this happens#and yes I'm look at you too AU fics you're not exempt from this#no respect for the character smh#listen I get it he's the number 1 knives simp no one is denying this#but that isn't all he is ok!! like this boy can fit so much complexity in him if you just bother to look!!#I know it's a dumb hill to die on but here I am
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why cant i get paid to think of domestic arakawa family things huh. id be SO rich if that were a thing
#snap chats#i was on my walk and while not trying to listen too hard to seether lyrics i was thinking of My Favorite Family#i just wanna draw out more pre-ichi arakawa fam stuff yk#rgg refuses to give me backstory on masumi and jo so i would like to be delusional and do it myself#i know i said id make the doujin as a joke but im three seconds away from doing it for real#i just wanna see the progression of their relationship man.. how did your ass sky rocket to captain status..#but nay i have to do my actual work and finish up comms for people#unrelated im fucking itchy and Again its cause my dumbass went outside#worst part is i was gonna go play baseball today. and by 'play baseball' i was gonna go to my diamond#and set up my sad little t-ball bullshit and then hit balls all day#isnt it heinous i dont live by a batting cage. i mean being outside's nice and all and running to get the ball's good extra exercise#but sometimes a man just wants to hit balls yk. the respectable version of golf#how many of sports can be classified as Hitting The Ball vs Passing The Ball#like football/golf/baseball all hit the ball but american football and basketball you pass it right#do you technically hit the basketball when you bounce it on the ground.. no i wont count that#im going everywhere im just procrastinating this is how you know i have somethings to do#oh godddd my head hurts ok bye
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jesus. i regret clicking on that
#listen.... what little of one piece fandom ive interacted with has been perfectly happy to refer to yamato as he/him.#so seeing the OTHER part................... my god.#i feel kind of the same way i do on this as i do with sheik which is like........... when the character intends for you to refer to them#one way then u stick with it. like yea thats a fictional character#but like. irl. if someone says they want u to refer to them a certain way#like.... u respect that LMAO regardless of whatever u Think they ''really feel''#also clearly these people don't know what he/him lesbians are. pronouns are made up#like WHAT is the problem come on#some of these fucking takes man......#ohhhhhh yamato just wants to be a specific man. ok#thats why yamato deciiiiiiiided to be a man. i think thats a good enough reason tbh LMAO#u can just decide that. gender is fake
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falling down an aba therapy rabbit hole god so many people just treat autistic people with fluctuating abilities as subhuman there is always a better workaround for kid AND parent but really its not about the parent here its abt the kid
#just saw avideo of one kid. slightly messy eater. He could communicate he understood that it wasn't the best and was being punished for ea#ting with his hands like. grughf. Youcould discuss WHY he likes eating with his hands. Maybe its a sensory thing or maybe it helps him to#bring the food to his mouth that way maybe his motor skills with forks is harder than it was for him to write. He really liked writing may#be before supper or while supper is being cooked you turn his writing fixation into a game. Lets see how much you can write before I finish#supper in 30 mintues!! And then we're gonna eat for 30 minutes!#Or like. Help him to understand some foods CAN be eaten with hands and its ok but some foods we have to eat with a fork. Yeah it can be con#fusing. Lets write a list of food we can eat with our hands and ones we cant! Can we eat... ice cream with our hands? No! That'd be so mes#sy and our hands would get gross and sticky!! Yuck!#SORRY. I just. hate when people dont remember kids are real live functional human beings#my next door neighbors kid was autistic as well#Mostly nonverbal but once you were around him enough you could really hear his own voice! He COULD talk you just had to listen and I did!!#We would talk or he'd show me what he was doing and I would listen and I taught him how to find out the age of anyone (their birthyear minu#s current year) and he got hooked on doing that forever. LIKE its not hard to respect and learn *with* autistic people. GRRRRGHDGDJH#I get told a lot im gr8 with kids and its like haha yeah bc I remember kids are living breathing individuals who WANT to be treated like t#hey are that and not dumb idiot babies who cant think for themself#You would be amazed CONSTANTLY by how SMART little kids can be if you LISTENED to them oh my god!!
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