#literally fell out of bed this morning and was glad to go work 2 jobs

[hyunjilicious]

what is and what should never be [bucky barnes]

A/n: ok, so. Im really fucking insecure about this. I literally poured my heart into this fic. I'm genuinely unhappy with the beginning, but I promise you, it gets better!! I don't have it in me to rewrite it for the 4th time. I really hope you'll still like it though. If you ask me, this is the best fic idea I even had. Please, please, if you enjoyed it, let me know!!!

Summary: It was you and Bucky. An unlikely couple that shared equally disturbed pasts. When you get a day off, your paradise turns into hell as Bucky's nightmares return, leaving you alone to deal with The Winter Soldier. (FLUFF, SMUT, ANGST) 12k

Warnings: 2 smut scenes - they're graphic but not extreme, fluff, angst, violence, mentions of death and suicide, blood, a fight scene - also quite graphic but it was written to serve the angst. I don't want to spoil the ending, but if you really connect with the characters, you will not hate me!!

This day had been long awaited. After months of back to back missions and endless efforts to climb up the greasy pole of US social standards, words failed to describe how ecstatic you were to know, that for the next 24 hours, your whole schedule would fully be in your hands.

You had the freedom to do just about anything you wanted, and the simple fact that the rest of the avengers left to deal with some paperwork excited you to no end. You woke up when it was time for them to take off, and made a snarky remark about heading to the gym - something along the lines of having a productive day centered on self development.

Just about 20 minutes later, you and Bucky, now also alone in the Stark Tower, decided to start off your day on the right foot. He offered to make protein smoothies as you changed into something comfortable and fitting for a workout, but neither of you got their job done.

You had no idea how that happened, but before you knew it you were wearing your sports bra and still had your pajama pants on, moaning on the counter of Tony's kitchen as Bucky had lodged himself between your legs, hungrily exploring the heated skin of your neck, peppering you with bruise marks that represented his adoration for you. "You heal fast anyway" he shrugged, pulling you closer and digging his teeth into your flesh, sucking profusely and eliciting an erotic moan from your lips. 

With every new hickey he left, another one would disappear, which in turn would make him even more frustrated, “The hell should I do? Tattoo hickeys on you!?” he groaned, moving up your neck. You caught his cheeks into your palms and kissed him back, smiling as he kept getting more and more aggravated. 

It didn't come as a surprise when the blender went berserk, splattering fruit pulp, almond milk and protein powder all over the pristine walls of the room - both of you have long forgotten about it. 

The way Bucky cleaned the mess was the epitome of not giving a shit, and you couldn't find it more endearing. He bitched and whined his way through the whole process, and tears formed at the corners of your eyes at the ridiculousness of the half assed job he just did. 

You eventually reached the gym - of course, against all your pouting and begging to put off this session. "Doll, you're the only avenger who can't fight. A punk on the street could snap your purse and there would be nothing you can do"

Wrong, he was not. You couldn't fight - but at the same time that didn't mean you were defenceless. It was your immense power that for months on end made your teammates consider you a liability. The energy that surged through your veins had been too great for you to handle, and in fact, it still was, but now, thanks to the joined efforts of Tony and Bruce, there was a way for that power to be contained. Their solution came in the form of two massive shackles wrapped around the length of your forearms. They were made of dimeritium and kept all kinds of energy from leaving your body. But, even so, that energy was in full form, buzzing inside every fiber of your being. And so, while wearing them you couldn't attack anyone, but there wasn't a way for them to harm you either. That field of energy protected you from every kind of damage and wounds you had ever encountered, ranging from fist fights to automatic rifles to guided grenades.

"I'm the only one that doesn't need to know" you huffed and puffed, annoyed but still determined to get this first training session done with.

But that never happened. Halfway through your warm up rounds, your teasing side awoke and it took you about ten minutes to go from batting your eyelashes and flaunting your ass, to nonchalantly cupping his cock into your hand.

No one could blame Bucky for not even trying to stop you. Bless him, he did everything he could, but he was never able to resist you. And probably never will be.

By the time you were done at the gym, both your bodies were coated in lecherous layers of sweat, no of them being from actually working out. It was only a matter of time until you managed to break his self control and he had you sprawled on all fours in the middle of the boxing ring, moaning your soul out as he pounded your pussy. 

The momentum made your whole frame rock back and forth, your hair falling around your face, "Holy fuck-" 

The room vibrated with the vulgar slaps he afflicted on your bare ass. You arched your back and cried his name out loud, "Come on, Bucky- I- harder please-"

"How are you already so needy?" he chuckled, caging your waist between his strong arms and pulling you up until your back reached his chest. "I ate this pussy this morning before we got out of bed"

"You know I love your tongue-" you giggled out of breath as you tried to look at him over your shoulder. "But it doesn't compare to your cock"

"What does?" Bucky rhetorically questioned before picking up his pace. He kept slamming his hips into yours, fucking you at full force as with each thrust, his cock rammed against your walls hard enough to make you see stars.

"I'm really fucking close, Buck" you whined, feeling your knees start to refuse to maintain your weight any longer. 

"Don't cum yet" he panted, "Wait for me"

"Fuck, fuck, fuck-" you cried out loud, liquid pleasure seeping out of you in the form of fresh tears streaming down your cheeks. "Please-" you whined, "I can't hold it anymore, I'm-"

"Not yet, baby" Bucky groaned, easily stopping you from wiggling around in his hold. His thrusts became sloppy and the orgasm got the best of him. He buried his face deep in your shoulder as his high forced guttural moans to rip from his throat. 

As he filled you up with his cum, as much as you wanted to comment about him making you wait and then not even bothering to tell you you could cum, you couldn't. Your eyes rolled back in pleasure and your chest heaved as the spiral of bliss seemed to go on and on, tons of ecstasy propagating in long painful waves across your body.

"Fuck-" Bucky panted as helped you up, "I could get used to days like this. We should retire"

"I'm not retiring-" you teasingly shook your head, "not until you find a way to give me a baby"

"I'd give you all the babies" he retorted, tugging your hand.

It caused you to lose your balance and stumble into his chest, "I love you"

"Love you" Bucky kissed the top of your head and spun you around. With his palms on your hips, he started guiding you towards the door, "Let's get you cleaned up"

And then, another wave of unproductivity followed. You showered, ordered pizza, whined about how there was still some smoothie left on the floor, and after you warned him about it, your face fell as Bucky stepped directly in the middle of the puddle of almond milk. He was fuming, the incident wiped any traces of happiness off his face. He mumbled something about that being the last pair of comfy socks he had left and something about Tony's devices being a constant pain in the ass. 

He went on and on until you ambushed him with kisses up his neck and shoved your hands under his shirt. In an instant his bickering turned into soft giggles as he innocently relaxed under your touch. You eventually cleaned up the mess and tried to make yourself busy. Nothing worked, you weren't in the mood for anything and at the same time, even though you did absolutely nothing all day, you felt a wave of tiredness envelop you.

At about 4pm, and you Bucky had already been lazily laying in bed, a mess of tangled limbs under the fluffy duvet. Your conversation started from the tactical gear he swore would look better on you than on him and then wondered how you didn't know how to sow.

"I'll hit you" you threatened.

"I'm sorry" he laughed, holding onto your forearm as it was resting on his chest, "But you know how much I love it when you get angry at my misogynistic jokes"

"It's rude" you scoffed - you didn't mean his jokes, but the fact that when he grew up, women were not anywhere near where they are today. 

"You know I don't mean it"

"I know you don't" you laughed, "Otherwise I'd have actually hit you"

"Don’t worry" Bucky said, "I'd hit myself if I was that stupid"

"Cute" you smiled, kissing his shoulder. Looking up at him, you promoted your chin against his chest, "Do you miss it? The 40s i mean"

He thought about it for a second. "Nah" there was a bit of nostalgia in his tone, but you believed him. "I've kinda made my peace with the fact that everyone from my old life is gone. I wouldn't want to go back now. I got you. I got all of you guys. I'm good now, really good"

"I'm glad" you beamed, feeling yourself warm up from the inside just thinking of the progress he made. After a few seconds, you spoke up again, "But what about the society? Like the day to day life? How do you like the 2010s?"

"I can't lie" Bucky laughed, "I liked Romania better. Much simpler."

"You lived in a dead beat apartment, hiding everyday" you scoffed, "How was that better?"

"I don't know… maybe it was the simple life. Apparently I'm all about that"

"You'd move back there?"

"If you came with me?" he questioned, looking down at you. There was genuine sincerity in his eyes and a hint of a smile at the corner of his lips. "Wouldn’t even think twice"

"Maybe one day" you sighed with content. You snuggled back against his side, and closed your eyes. "We're not done avenging yet" you mumbled.

He didn't say anything to that. You didn't know whether he was getting lost in thoughts or if he was starting to drift off, but you would have been fine with either. When he spoke up again, you didn't expect the conversation to take this route.

"About Romania…" he sighed, "What made you come with Steve back in 2016?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean-" he muttered, rubbing his light stubble, "I know why Steve came-" Bucky chuckled, "And Sam's all up his ass, so there's that. But what about you?"

"I-"

"I'm aware of the rift I caused between you guys back then. So that's why I'm asking. What made you stand by Steve from the beginning?"

"I knew how much you meant to him. And I know how this is going to sound, but I felt sorry for you, Buck. I know what it's like to be alone, to have everyone turn against you. You deserved better"

"Love-?" he called softly, his voice nearly breaking. "What do you mean you know what it's like to have everyone turn against you?"

As you maintained the eye contact, you felt tears prickle, "I know it wasn't fair of me to keep my past a secret, but-"

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to-" he said softly, his eyes warm. The pain was readable on his features, he hated how your whole demeanour changed.

"It's not that I don't want you to know, it's just that I hate talking about it. Gives me nightmares."

"Then we can just drop it" Bucky murmured, gathering you closer.

"I wish you could know without me telling you" you laughed, "You make everything better and easier. I should've told you, I know. It isn't fair to you. We've been together for almost two years but as far as you're concerned I didn't exist until I joined the avengers. I don't even know how much they know. We never talked about it"

"Love, listen to me. I'm here whenever you want to talk about it. You didn't do anything wrong. There are a lot of things about me that you don't know either. We're not those people anymore. No one can blame us for trying to escape out past"

"Yeah, you're right" you sighed.

Gathering your power, you pushed yourself up and settled beside him, with your legs crossed. You grabbed his hand pulling it into your lap, and intertwined your fingers with his as you spoke.

"Forget the official story, there's no truth to it anyway"

"I really didn't believe your mum was a criminal and that you were in a mental asylum" he joked.

"Good-" you smiled, his words lifting the atmosphere a bit. "Truth is, I don't know anything about my parents. But I have my assumptions. I grew up in that soviet facility so I never met them. I was told it was owned by a group of socialite scientists who wanted our help"

"Our? Who's we?"

"There were 7 of us"

"Did they have the same power as you?"

"Approximately. When we were younger, we used to comply and do everything we were told but as we grew up, things started to change. We weren't happy. Who could be? Considering we were being held in cells and studied like lab rats. We started to act differently and some might even say we tried to rebel, but that didn't work obviously, and that's when the restrictions began. For the last 3 years I spent there, there hadn't been a day where the temperature passed 0°C." 

Your skin crawled as you recaled the endless nights you spent shivering your way to sleep. Everything around you was ice cold. But it wasn't for the sole purpose of torturing you. It was your only weakness. As the temperature dropped, so did the movement of the atoms that made up your body - eliminating your powers to the point where you were barely alive. 

"One day, as spring came, we wanted to break out. We made a plan, and figured that as soon as we were out, we'd be fine. We were wrong. We were off about the weather and they got us before we even exited the perimeter. That's when the avengers heard about us."

By now, Bucky's eyes were wide with genuine curiosity, his mouth agape as he took in the information you provided. With every word you spoke his grip tightened around your fingers and his eyebrows gathered even further. There was discomfort and anger in his features, but he didn't interrupt you once.

"After that, the restrictions got tougher. We realised there was no way out. A lot of things came together in that small time frame. I realised what that place actually was days after we tried to escape. My friends - or that's what I thought they were, figured out another plan. Why fight when you can just eliminate the premise?"

Bucky moved his lips but no words came out. He cleaned his throat and sat up a bit, "What- what do you mean?"

"They tried to kill me" you said, plastering a sympathetic smile on your lips, hoping it would make it easier for him to hear.

"What the fuck. Why?"

"I think my dad used to be part of that team. And I think he made me the way I am. Now I don't know why he wasn't around anymore, but that team wasn't trying to get us to do anything. They were trying to make more of me. So if I was dead-"

"There would be no reason to keep the other kids…" Bucky finished the sentence for you.

You nodded.

"And what happened?"

You bowed your head trying to find a way to put your words together. Bucky didn't rush you, just reassuringly rubbed his thumb across your knuckles, waiting. When a tear from your cheek slipped and landed on the back of his hand, you looked up and took a deep breath. "I killed them. All of them."

He didn't say anything. Didn’t move a muscle, as he waited for you to continue. 

"I didn't even want to do that, Buck" you sobbed, breaking down. "I killed over 20 people because I was afraid. I didn't even move. I was in the corner of my room the whole time, but everyone who approached me was fried to death. I don't even know how I did that. I was just scared"

"Oh, baby" Bucky cooed, pushing himself up to wrap his arms around you. You fell against his chest, crumbling in his embrace. "I hope you know that was not your fault, ok?" he asked, rubbing your back. "You were just a kid, alone and afraid. It breaks my fucking heart, those bastards. Please don't feel sorry for them"

"I feel sorry for the other kids"

"They tried to kill you, Y/n" Bucky countered, "If you hadn't killed them, I would've gone after them. All of them"

"They were desperate..."

"So were you!"

"I can't help but feel like a monster sometimes, you know? Like I'm reckless and out of control. There are times when I'm all happy and excited about what tomorrow would bring, and then i remember what I did, and I have a hard time fighting away the thoughts that try to tell me I don't deserve that"

"What you deserve is the fucking world ok?" Bucky said, tilting your chin so you could see just how serious he was. "This past couple of years, you saved hundreds of lives and I know for a fact you did it out of the pure kindness of your heart, not because you wanted to make up for anything in the past. You're a fucking angel. You're the embodiment of good, you hear me? I know you. You'll never understand how much respect I have for you, and how in awe I am with the kind of person you are. Please, don't ever think less of yourself. Ever, ok?"

Tears rolled down your cheeks as his words proved to be much more than you were able to hear at that moment. "Thanks, Buck. That's sweet of you to say-"

"It's not sweet of me to say, it's the fucking truth" he scoffed, but he somehow managed to make it sound loving. "You didn't even fucking try, but just being around you made me feel like a person again. You're amazing, Y/n. We're all lucky to have you. I'm lucky to have you."

"You're gonna make me cry" you sniffled, curling yourself into a ball against his chest, "I know you were in a dark place when we met. I'm glad I managed to help you through it"

"You pulled me through it" he sighed, tightening his hold around you. "I went from wanting to die, to thinking that I didn't even deserve the easy way out. Look at me now."

"Buck, stop"

"I love you so fucking much" Bucky laughed. 

His whole frame shook as he pulled you back down, safely holding you between his arms, "You're amazing" he added, kissing the top of your head, "Perfect"

"I said, stop" you chuckled, slapping his side, "I get it, you like me, can we-"

"I adore you" Bucky cut you off after grabbing the sides of your face between his palms. "And thanks for trusting me. I know it wasn't easy for you to talk about your past, so thank you. I'm always here for you. If there's anything ever, I got you, ok? Forever"

"I got you too" you added, kissing his cheek and then moving along his jawline, "No matter what happens, you'll always have me on your side. I'm all yours, Bucky"

"Yeah, you are, doll. All mine"

After that talk, how you managed to fall into a deep sleep will always remain a mystery. Nightmares didn't make their way into your mind, and you settled for a dreamless slumber, actually fully content for the first time in a long while.

But not everybody processed grief the same way. And if Bucky mentioned earlier that he was lucky to have you, as you were pulled out of your sleep, you realised that he wasn't as lucky as you were when it came to the mysteries that creep up on you when you least expect them.

-

"Wake up sunshine"

The sound reached your ears, but it wasn't Bucky's voice, so you just groaned in response and rolled over to the other side, completely pressing your face into the pillow.

"Buttercup, it's time to wake up"

The voice seemed uneasy, as if the person speaking was actually terrified. You opened your eyes wearily, and were met with the usual, complete darkness of your room. 

"Come on, Y/n" they spoke again. You turned to see one of Tony's maintenance robots hovering above your body, one small screen lit up on its front. Blinking a few times to rid yourself of the sleep still lingering in your eyes, you managed to make out the faces of Tony and Steve, both staring at you.

"What's going on?" you mumbled.

"You've got incoming," Tony announced, and then shook his head at whatever someone next to him had said. The microphone wasn't performant enough for you to hear what the other person said, but it was not like you cared.

"Incoming what?" you questioned, still confused out of your mind.

He turned his attention back to you, "The asshole"

You frowned and Steve scoffed, "Y/n, it's Bucky. He's not well"

"Wh-" you mumbled, your head snapping to the side, only then realising his side of the bed was empty. You shuffled your arm around the sheets, still warm. "What- what happened?"

"He's gone rogue, Y/n" Steve announced, genuine worry and guilt audible in his voice, "You need to make sure he doesn't leave. You need to stop him"

Tony's workstation. You needed to get the shackles off your arms if you wanted to stand a chance, "Tony? How do I take these off?" you asked, pointing to your cuffs.

"Already taken care off" he nodded, "Get to my desk, it's unlocked. All you need to do is actually get there. If you can"

"If I can-?" you began asking, but a loud explosion sound cut you off, causing the bed to shake as a wind blew through your room. "What the fuck!?"

"He may have found the grenade launchers" Tony smiled bitterly.

"Y/n," Steve called for you, "Please, be careful. And call us. Me and Nat will take the jet but I don't know-"

"Don't worry" you shook your head, jumping off the bed and rushing to your closet. You chose the first clothes you saw laying before your eyes and put them on, ready to go look for Bucky. "I got this, I promise"

"Oh, and Y/n?" Tony said, making you turn to him at the last minute, "Try not to fry my tower"

You nodded and refrained from making any promises you didn't know you could keep. 

As soon as you walked out the door, the sound of automatic rifles going off became deafening. Stepping over piles of broken glass, you made your way to the emergency staircase, heading to Tony's lab. You did so with maximal caution, knowing that if you were spotted, there would be no going back.

Descending the last remaining flight of stairs until his work station, a rush of adrenaline surged through you, knowing just how close you were. Silently rounding the corner, your eyes landed on Bucky's frame, easily holding one of the remaining SHIELD agents up by the neck.

He turned to look at you, eyes cold and empty. Not even rage. There was nothing there. No expression, no empathy, no feeling. It was as if he was dead. This wasn't him. 

"Buck-" you panted, raising your hands up in the air, signaling surrender. You eyed Tony's desk, determined to stall him until you managed to free yourself of the cuffs.

You took a cautious step to the side, hands still up in the air. Bucky watched you as the man struggled against his hold, legs spasming uncontrollably as he kicked and squirmed, even though it was so clearly in vain.

"Don’t mind me-" you smiled, sweat flooding your pores as you slowly approached your destination. "I'll just-"

"You'll just what-?" Bucky groaned, flinging his victim with impeccable ease. The agent's body flew across the room, crushing into the only device that had the power to help you get through this. As the work station crumpled under his weight, so did your hopes of getting out of this. 

"Bucky, hey-" you mumbled, afraid of pissing him off, "I-"

"Who the hell is Bucky?" he frowned, starting to march towards you. Your blood ran cold, knowing you didn't have what it took to keep up with him. You were never able to dodge anyone's blows, let alone his. When he reached you, his hand instantly reached around your neck, lifting you off the floor, "SHIELD?" he asked after taking a look at your attire. Although not carrying the emblem, it was probably the only explanation that made sense to him.

"Well, um-" you huffed, holding onto his wrist in hopes of not running out air, "No, not SHIELD"

"Then who are you?" he growled, tightening his hold on your windpipe.

"Fuck-" you gasped, kicking your legs, even through he didn't even flinch when you hit him. "You're not gonna believe this but, um-"

"Try me"

You looked into his eyes, hoping it would serve as some kind of a memento, that maybe he'd remember you. "You know me, Buck. It's Y/n, I'm- your girlfriend?"

Even saying it made you feel weird. This killing machine, apparently hell bent on wrecking havoc, was not the man you loved, and you cringed just imagining his reaction to hearing your words.

And it did turn out to be worse than expected, as he spun around, doing a complete 180° with your body before slamming you down on the floor. The wood cracked under your bones, knocking the wind out of you. The pain of the impact was excruciating, propagating along your body in waves of some physical agony you had never felt before. The sound of your bones cracking made you sick to your stomach. Your ears caught the sound of your arteries being torn as your organs collapsed.

And if you felt every inch of your body being shattered and destroyed, it was God's way of making you pay for your parent's mistakes, as when your wounds healed mere seconds later, the pain did not go away. Your nerve receptors still registered damage to the tissues, and no matter whether you were actually as good as new, your brain couldn't process that.

What consumed you the most was the fact that as you struggled to stand up, the pain of broken limbs lingered on. But you fought through it, gathered yourself and stood up, facing him again.

You winced with every muscle contraction, but eventually your eyes met his. He showed curiosity, along with something else. Something else which you wished wasn't determination to finish you.

"Can we-" you whimpered, extending a hand, "Can we talk?"

"Talk!?" Bucky raged, grabbing your wrist and twisting your arm to the point where he spun you around, your back pressing against his chest. "Not here to talk" he growled into your ear.

The hairs on your body stood as you heard his voice. Even though it was technically the same voice you loved more than anything in the world, it made you now shiver with a fear you've never experienced before. 

You didn't get a chance to sink too deep in your thoughts before Bucky raised your arm, dislocating your shoulder and busting your humerus into pieces. The pain cut your legs at the knees and you screamed in agony, falling to the floor at his feet.

"Stand up" he commanded, slamming his foot into your side. The momentum made your body roll away, until you settled back on the ground, face deep in the rubble. Your muscles pulled you to your feet with ease, but the pain coursing through you was immense, nowhere near close to what you thought bearable. You felt the skin being ripped from your body and when you looked down, your clothes were torn, soaked in blood, but your skin was intact. It was what you needed to keep going - to get inside your head the fact that you were fine, because at this point, the pain was one bruise away from making you faint.

"Bucky, please-" you cried.

"Stop calling me Bucky!" he yelled, starting to approach you again.

With every step he took, you slowly backed away. "Please, listen to me, just a second, please!"

He shook his head no, a demented smile on his lips as he closed in on you.

"Bucky-"

As a reply to your question, his fist flew up, slamming into your jaw, hard enough to throw you to the ground, "Why do you keep calling me-"

"What else do you want me to call you, huh?" you yelled at him, vision blurred under too many layers of tears. "Tell me, and I'll do it if it'll get you to listen to me."

"I don't want you to call me anything-" he cocked his head to the side, unstrapping a handgun from his thigh. He loaded it as you barely managed to crawl away, "You can take the pain. I respect that. Let's see how well you do with these lead bullets"

You saw them in slow motion, barely managing to duck your head behind the remains of what once was a heavy wooden bookshelf. The bullets missed your chest and face, but you saw them, felt them penetrate your skin, ripping through your muscles. 

The sound of your tissues being pulled to shreds made you feel sick to your stomach. As the bullets left your body, your wounds closed back up, leaving you a crying mess on the floor. Your throat constricted due to the wave of shock that hit your body, and your lungs started hyperventilating. Lightheaded and gasping for air, you struggled to crawl away from him, tears marching down your face and ending up on the floor, nothing but diluting the droplets of blood that had fallen from your body mere minutes before. Your heart was in overdrive and your vision blurred as every fiber of your being threatened to let you down. "Please-" you screamed, your voice breaking as you raised your hand for him, "Let's talk, please. That's all I want. Give me a minute"

But he didn't. He didn't even consider it. Instead, the force that controlled the body of the only man that ever managed to make you feel safe, tortured, destroyed and consumed your body for what felt like the better part of an eternity.

You had been thrown through walls, shattered windows, had glass shards lodged into your body from all angles. He unloaded cannon after cannon on you, used up all the ammo he had on him, only growing more and more annoyed when you refused to give up.

There was no way to know how much time had passed. Now you were standing by the window, inches away from the spot where two nights ago, you and Bucky clicked your glasses, smiling at how far you both had come. He laughed, saying he wouldn't have made it without you. And then he kissed you, confessing that the thought that maybe you couldn't have made it without him either, was what kept him going. 

And then there you were. 48 hours later, again, just the two of you. But now there weren't any champagne glasses between you, just his metal arm, wrapped around your neck, this time, as he said, for the last time.

"I don't get it-" he scowled, teeth gritted and frustration in his voice, "Why don't you fight me?"

"I can't fight you" you whimpered as your tears poured down against his cold hand, "And even if I could, I wouldn't."

"WHY?" Bucky screamed, and for a second, you thought you saw a crack there, a glister of emotion hidden deep in his otherwise beautiful eyes.

"Because I love you" you cried.

But there was none. He rolled his eyes and pushed you back, your body slamming into the window. You should've thought faster, been more witty and considerate, but terror washed over you and in the heat of the moment, you grabbed onto him for dear life, pulling him down with you, plummeting to the ground from what looked like the 70th floor of the Stark Tower. 

If until now you had been afraid of what you'd have to endure, it was now that you met true terror. You'd survive the fall, but he wouldn't. 

Even in the air, approaching the ground at a dangerous speed, he kept fighting you. Even in this state, you admired his determination - he had a job and wanted to get it done - even if that job was killing you. A man of his word.

By now, the pain was unnoticeable. If you wanted to keep him alive you had to act fast. Clinging to his body despite his vicious protests and ruthless blows, you used your momentum to turn the two of you around. And you did so at the last second, as before you knew it, your bodies crashed into the boulevard below, sinking down into the asphalt as it crumpled under your weight. 

The impact cut your breath away and there was a gnawing feeling all over your body, as if you had blades under your skin, pulling your body apart fiber by fiber. But you snapped out of it.

"Bucky!" you yelled, slapping his cheek.

He had fallen completely on top of you, his head pressed against your chest. He didn't move and the continuous buzz in your ears made it physically impossible for you to tell whether he was breathing for not.

"Bucky, please-" you cried, trying to move him so you could see his face. 

Nothing.

"No, no, no!!" you screamed, "You can't die, baby, please! Not like this, love. Please come back to me, Buck, I'm begging you!!"

You remained there and wailed, with him glued to your chest. Your arms had wrapped around his motionless frame, keeping him as close as you could. Nothing could have gotten you to stop. Tens of people gathered around the crater your fall created around your bodies, police showed up, cameras were pointed at your faces, but you didn't care. If he died, so would you. 

"You're all I have, baby-" you muttered, voice hoarse and dry from all the wailing and crying, "Please, you can't leave me. This can't be the end of us. Please, I don't know what to do, Bucky, please!"

You were soaked. In blood, and you didn't even know whether it was his or yours. God, how you hoped it all belonged to you, how the pool of blood you laid in was all yours. Tears soaked your face, pouring down your temples as your whole frame shook with your sobs, that was the true agony. You'd rather spend the rest of your days fighting for your life if it meant he got to see the sun again. You wished he'd hate you, rather than not feel anything at all ever again.

"Please-" you said again but this time your voice didn't even reach your own ears, you didn't hold that power anymore, "Please, you need to come back! You deserve so much better than this. You're the best man I have even known, you can't die like this, not today, Bucky. Not today!"

By now, the people around you had scattered. They knew your identities and for all the wrong reasons, feared you both. You were grateful for that now, you were alone with him again, as the sun began to set and a chilly New York night began to settle. 

Still, you didn't move. You still had faith. Or you were just stubborn. There was no way you'd pull away until someone either pried him off of you against your will, or someone that you trusted showed up promising they'd help.

None of them came, and you remained there, cradling his frame to your chest begging whatever God was listening, to bring him back. You didn't know if one of them heard you, or if it was just blind luck or fate, but you only realised his metal arm was lodged under your body when he moved it.

"Buck!" you cried, cupping his cheeks in your bloodied palms as literal life cursed through your veins. "Oh god, you're ok, you're alive!! You came back to me!"

You managed to hug him close one more time, before he pushed himself off of you. In the process of standing up, his eyes met yours for the briefest second. Again, nothing.

He gathered himself to his feet, wordlessly bending down to grab your hair. He forced you up and you instantly obliged, following him back into the building.

Once inside, he knocked you through a glass door, your body once again absorbing his fury. The pain had dissipated into a dull ache, and this time, you stood up faster. "I can do this all day" you sighed, the lie slipping past your lips with such ease, as if the energy inside your core wasn't running dangerously low.

"What did you just say?" he questioned.

He seemed taken aback, "I said that I can do this all day"

"Who are you?" Bucky yelled, marching towards you, determined to get answers out of you through nothing else but brute force. He slammed you back onto the floor, only to straddle your thighs and pick you up by the collar of your shit. "Why won't you just fucking die!?"

Circling your fingers around his wrists, you searched for his eyes, "Wanna know what keeps me alive?"

"Are you stupid enough to tell me?"

"I might be" you shook your head, "but I'll still tell you"

"Why?"

"Because I know you won't kill me" you cried, "I know you know me. I know you're in there somewhere. The man I love. I know you don't have it in you to kill me"

"Try me" he laughed, drunk with the power you were so willing to give him.

"These-" you panted, raising your arms in the air to show him your cuffs, "These are what's been keeping me alive but I know you won't-"

But you never finished the sentence. He didn't even think twice before ripping them off your arms and throwing them onto the floor, along with all the other mess you two had made.

You never thought he'd actually spare you. So it wasn't a surprise when the first thing he did after freeing you, was reach for his knife with the sole purpose of driving it through your chest.

But you were faster. You framed his face into your palms, releasing the energy from your body and allowing it to flow through his. It felt weird, wrong and chaotic, and the power surge wiggled itself out of your control, until a blast between your bodies sent you both flying back across the room, falling down onto the floor.

And this time none of you stood up.

-

"I leave them alone for what, a day?" Tony sighed, walking out of his Iron Man suit. 

"Holy shit!" Steve cried out, his knees betraying him as he tried to rush to you.

"No, wait!" Nat stopped him, "You can't wake them up until we get them somewhere safe. We need to make new cuffs for Y/n, and find a way to keep Bucky contained in case, you know… he's still not Bucky"

Steve was fuming with anger, nostrils flaring, "These are my friends you're talking about!" he exclaimed, pointing to your bodies on the floor, "Your friends too, Nat. You see them like this and the first thing you think about is restraining them!?"

"We need to make sure we're all safe" she sighed with sympathy, grabbing his hand for a comforting rub.

"You make sure you're safe-" Steve scoffed, "I'll make sure they're alive"

"Hey-" Nat stopped him, "If you touch her and startle her in any way, you die!"

Her words hurt him but he knew you never would. Steve felt his heart shutter just imaging what you must have gone through. He was ablaze with pure determination to prove Nat wrong, and to do right by you and Buck. "I carried her in my arms while she was passed out when we rescued her from that facility-" he fummed, pointing at you, "She never knew a man that didn't try to hurt her before. And when she woke up, she was afraid. Scared for her life. She cried in my arms and begged me to not let them take her again! She was never anywhere close to hurting me! She's good. So good. There's only good inside of her, I trust her to not hurt me more than I trust myself, ok? If I'm wrong, so be it. I die. I don't care. She deserves someone to look after her. If I had to chose, saving her would be the way I'd want to go"

His rant left Nat speechless. She just gave him a simple nod and stepped back. 

Carefully, he picked you up and carried you upstairs, as Tony put his suit back on and carried Bucky.

-

Never in your life had you woken up this fast. Your eyes snapped open and you sprung to your feet. 3 pairs of anxious eyes watched you, all of them ready to jump into action in case the situation called for an intervention.

"What-" you gawked, scanning the room, "Where is Bucky? Is he- is-"

"He's fine, Y/n" Steve assured you. He stood up and slowly approached you, arms outstretched. Your first instinct was to go for it, but when you reached him, you placed both your hands in his, and looked up at him with teary eyes.

"Are you sure?" you whimpered, "Can I see him?"

Sympathy took over his features, but Tony jumped in, "Absolutely not"

"What-" you turned to him, "Why? Did I-?"

"You didn't do anything wrong" Steve hummed, engulfing you in a hug even though you remained stiff in your spot. He rubbed your back, eager to soothe your worried mind, but you were too out of it.

“Can I just go?” you whispered, pulling back just enough so that he could see how serious you were, “I need to see him, please”

“Are you mad at him?” Nat asked with caution and your face fell.

“No!” you gasped, stepping away from Steve’s embrace, “No, not even one bit. I know that was not him, I know it’s not his fault. But when Bucky wakes up-”

“If he wakes up-” Tony sneered, roaming around the room. He nursed a glass of whiskey, as a mixture of disgust and exhaustion was readable on his features. 

“When he wakes up!” you spoke through gritted teeth. Determination coated your words and the hairs on your body stood as you refused to even think of the alternative. “He will wake up. And I have to be there”

“What if the Winter Soldier wakes up?” Nat asked.

“That didn’t stop me last time”

“Oh, no!” Tony butted in, stepping in between you and Nat, arms outstretched, “You know I’m not one to cry after money, but you and your pal left me with $37 million worth of damage. You two are one broken cup away from getting thrown into the streets”

The sum he mentioned made the skin on your back crawl. You didn’t even have $37 dollars to your name, but it made sense. Your body alone crashed through three TV’s, one gamma ray projector and if you thought about it, you remembered Bucky pulling apart one of the Iron Legion robots, and only the thought made you flinch. 

“So-” Tony said, “You two? Never in the same room again!”

“Take these off then” you suggested, pointing at the cuff on your wrists.

“Ha” Tony exclaimed, “A big chunk of that money comes from you frying all my electronics up until the 12th floor. Absolutely not”

“Tony, I’m serious” you whined, “He will hate himself. I need to be there! I need to make sure he doesn’t take all the blame on his shoulders”

He frowned, and sighed. He wasn’t an unreasonable man, and you hoped that core deep inside his chest really made up for a heart. And… it did. None of them were happy about it, but they finally accepted. Nat and Tony would have never probably given up if it wasn’t for Steve - right now, like so many times before, he really did seem like your guardian angel.

They ended up monitoring the room, and Tony waited for your signal, one hand on his cigarette, the other on the Iron Man suit. He was all talk - if anything was to go down and you would actually be in danger again, he wouldn’t even think twice before tearing his towers into pieces if it meant he could get you out alive.

And so you left, thanked them in the form of a simple nod, and headed down the dark hallways.

Oh, how you hated this.

What consumed you now had nothing to do with the pain you had endured in the past 24 hours. Its source was not physical, yet your whole body ached. You felt the weight of the world on your shoulders - and in some way, it was - Bucky was your whole world, and the fear of losing him breathed down your neck.

It had been about 20 minutes since you stopped in front of the door that led to the room he'd been confined in. When FRIDAY announced that Bucky woke up, you rushed over, only for a hazardous sense of anguish to stop you dead in your tracks. Judging by the way he sat in the corner of the room, his fingers aimlessly tracing every indentation in the handcuffs Tony had restrained him with, you had no problem telling which one of him woke up. He broke your heart. His room was equipped with 5 different cameras and 2 microphones. Completely unaware of them, he sat inches away from one, and your heart shattered, sinking 3 stories below when you heard him whimper.

It was soft and quiet. His whole frame shook as he wiped his nose with the back of his sleeve. He was hunched down, brown hair covering his perfect face, but still, his sadness brought you to tears. 

You heard him again. He sniffled as he laid back against the wall. His eyes were bloodshot, lips almost white and dry as his chest raced up and down. His muscles clenched and his feet bounced against the metal floor, it was a sight you never wished you see ever again. 

Softly, you raised a hand, and thought twice before finally knocking.

"Go away," Bucky called, voice all hoarse and dry as it broke halfway through.

You were able to see him on the small screen next to the door, but he had no idea who came to visit.

Out of instinct, you knocked again before typing in the password and ever so slowly walking inside.

Instantly, he looked up. He was surrounded by an air of darkness and despair, ever so obviously tormented to the peak of his capability.

He stared at you for a few seconds as his eyes watered, and then he gathered his lips into a straight line, shaking his head. "Please, go"

"Bucky, I-"

"Please" he cried, head falling forward as he toyed with the metal edges of his prosthetic arm. He shook his head, "Please, don't do this. Just, go"

You took a deep breath, only then entering the room far enough to actually be able to close the door behind you. Slowly turning back to him, your palms sweated as you had no idea what to say to him. 

"Can you talk to me, Buck? Please?"

He chuckled, "About what?" 

"About whatever it is you think you did wrong, I-"

As he heard your words, his hands instantly flew up to cover his face. He was, however, stopped, as the cuffs on his left wrist kept him from moving too much. While a new row of tears flooded his cheeks, his eyes met yours, "Look at me.. I need to be restrained while you're alone with me"

"Those cuffs would literally do nothing to stop you from escaping, and you know it"

"Maybe it's just a sense of reassurance"

"To who?" you scoffed.

"To them" Bucky responded, nodding his head towards one of the cameras. "I'm a monster" he added, wiggling his cuff restrained hand, "I'm a danger to everyone"

"Oh for fucks sake" you rolled your eyes, marching up to him. With absolutely no remorse, you grabbed his hand and harshly pulled apart the metal that had him restrained to the bed. Before he got a chance to say anything, you bent down, unclipped the microphone from the foot of the bed, threw it on the floor, and stepped on it, until it was nothing but a small pile of shattered plastic.

And you kept going, destroying the second microphone along with the 5 cameras on the walls as Bucky watched you with surprise. You finished by going for the door and locking it from the inside. "You think I'm afraid of you?" you asked softly, "For 6 hours you did your best to kill me and failed miserably. Look at me, I'm unscathed"

"Did you hear yourself?" he cringed, shaking his head, "I tried to kill you"

"Ok, I know I said that you did your best-" you said, mentally scolding yourself for the error in communication. "We both know that wasn't you. That wasn't you, Buck. It was Hydra. It was the winter soldier, not you. My Bucky would never-"

"Y/n-" he stopped you, "I know you don't see things the way I do-"

"But I see them the right way"

"Listen-" Bucky sighed, driving his hands through his hair. For the first time that night you actually saw his full face, his cheek and signature scowl, his blue eyes and the tilt of the corner of his mouth - your soul melted when you associated the picture with the words that came out of his mouth. "I can't blame you for being here. I can't. If the roles were reversed, I'd be doing the exact same thing. But, holy fuck-" he sighed, pausing to gather his thoughts. Bucky looked you up and down. His lips quivered and his head fell to the side as a sad smile appeared on his lips. "Remember this morning? How we talked about our hypothetical child?" he laughed and shook his head, "Even if I know we could never have a kid because we're both sterile, it was still the most beautiful thought that ever crossed my mind, Y/n''

"Mine too, Buck-"

"And what did I do?" he dismissed your empathy, "Two hours later I was unloading an AK-47 into your stomach, like the brainwashed maniac that I am!"

"Don’t say that!" you exclaimed, "Don't you dare think about things like this!"

"Why wouldn't I?" he threw his hands up in the air, "What does it matter whose fault it is? I get to live with the consequences."

"But-" you breathed out, "We can work through this. You did it before. You can't let something that hydra did dictate your life, Bucky. You deserve so much better. You deserve to be happy!"

"I tried to kill you!" he screamed, for the first time losing his calm and standing up to be at the same level as you.

"That was not you!"

"So what?" he huffed, "I was there, Y/n! I will never, NEVER get the feeling of crushing your bones out of my head! I felt your neck snap! I choked you with my arms! That is not something I can live with! I can't live a life by your side if every time I look at you I'm reminded of those horrible things I did to you!"

"Buck-" you cried, looking at him from behind too many layers of unshed tears, "Please, don't say that"

"I'm sorry" he responded in the same fashion, his pain coating every word he said. "When I close my eyes I see you laying in a puddle of blood. I can't stop hearing your screams of agony. Agony that no matter how you put it, was caused by my hands. That's not something we can live with, Y/n. You were not made for this. You really do fucking deserve someone that won't wake up one day and try to murder you in cold blood"

"And what do you deserve, Buck?" you quietly asked, searching for his eyes, "To live your life alone? Forever? If you had been with anyone else, this would have turned out so much worse. That cute barista three blocks down that always scribbles a heart on your coffee cup? She's cute, yeah. You deserve to be loved by someone, but if that someone was her, you wouldn't be drowning in guilt right now, Bucky, you'd be mourning her. Yes, you got troubles. Yes, you've got a past more fucked up than anyone else I have ever heard about. That's the kind of shit you can't change. But whatever you do from now on, is in your fucking hands and yours alone. Don't try to tell me you're not worthy of having someone, because that's the fattest load of crap I've ever heard. You're a good man! With a fucked up past! And a dark side that you need to fight! And you have me! I don't care you dropped Tony's piano on my legs, apparently I can take it! I'm here for you no matter what! You don't want to be with me anymore? Fine. But don't you dare push me away, thinking that a ruined future makes up for a ruined past"

"Who's to say I won't try it again?" he asked, "I don't know what triggered the transition. But what if once a week I end up trying to kill you-"

"Apparently you can't!" you laughed bitterly.

"Ok, so I can't" he nodded in approval, "Is that what you want? I should be your rock, your best friend, I should always be there for you. Do you want to have your whole world turned upside down whenever my brain decides to go berserk?"

"See, Buck" you sighed, "Of course I don't want that. I can't fucking stand here and tell you that I do. What kind of credibility would I have then? But you know what I want? You. You and whatever nazi shit that comes along. I want you. To help you. To have you with me. To see you everyday. If every Saturday at 10am you decide you want to kill me, you best believe I'm sacrificing my morning coffee just so we can kung fu around the living room"

He looked at you for a long second, the corners of his lips fighting a hard battle against the hint of a smile that started to show on his features. Eventually he caved and chuckled, shaking his head, "That was a bit funny"

"And fucking true," you cried, going for his hands and bringing them up to your chest. He winced, but you spoke up again, determined to not let his mind torture him.

"I love you, Bucky"

"How do you not hate me?" he choked, shaking his head in disbelief. "Can you seriously look at me and not get even the slightest instinct to run away?"

"Bucky..." you breathed out, cupping his cheek. "How could I run away when I've never seen you in more pain than right now?"

"You're an angel, you know that?" 

"I've been called a lot of things" you giggled, "Angel isn't one of them, but if that's what you want, I'll take it"

"Come here" he whispered, wrapping his arms around your frame. He had you nuzzle against his chest, his hold keeping you tight and secure. His heart beat against your cheek and your eyes watered again. There wasn't one thing in the world you wouldn't do for that heart - to make sure it keeps beating, and that it keeps the man you love alive. And content, above all. All you wanted right now was for him to accept the things that happened. You wanted to take whatever weight he was carrying on his shoulders, and put it upon yourself. "I love you so much, Bucky" you cried against his chest as your hold tightened around him, "I hate to see you torn like this. I don't want anything to ever happen to you. It terrifies me. I love you with all that I am. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you. You deserve the world, baby"

"So do you" he whispered, kissing the top of your head.

You felt his chest shake, a deep rumble echoed from the depths of his lungs. You looked up to see him fight back a sob, his eyes wide open, glossy and red, trained down on you, "I love you too much to do this, Y/n. I'm sorry, I don't think I can"

"No!" you gasped, pressing your face back against his shoulder, "Don't do that. You can't do that. No"

"We won't work, Y/n" Bucky said as he brought you even closer, "I can't look at you anymore. I can't look at you without dying inside. You don't want to live with me like that"

"Yes, I do!" you sobbed. "I'll work with anything you give me, I swear there is nothing more I want. Just you. Just you and me. Bucky, please don't do this"

He held you close for what felt like half a second, but rationally speaking, your legs were getting numb. You just stood there, clinging to his body, taking in his scent and listening to his breathing even out until he pushed you away. Oh, how you didn't want to let go. Ever. But you did, and choked back a sob as soon as you felt the cold air of the room brush against the part of your body that had been pressed to his.

"We should get some sleep, Y/n"

"Are you coming with me?" you whimpered, afraid of the answer he might give you.

Bucky shook his head, "I think I'll just sleep here tonight"

That broke you. The shock and terror cut your breath away. It felt impossible - the feeling of losing him. The amount of pain that surged through you. At that particular moment, you felt like cracking your chest open to grip your heart into your hand and pick apart the broken parts. But not even that felt good enough, you were fairly sure you'd be left with nothing. It felt like a slap across your cheek, like a cloth had been placed over your mouth and your legs cut at the knees. It felt like the end. 

Optimistic by nature, not even you could deny the reason he wanted to sleep alone. It was clear as day.

"If-" you mumbled, tears coating your face at their own free will, voice shaking as you barely managed to articulate the words over the violent sobs that ripped their way out of your throat. "If I promise to not do anything to try and convince you to stay… can you promise me that in case you decide to leave, you'll come and tell me first?"

"Oh, doll" Bucky broke down all over again, throwing himself at you again. He collapsed on top of you, molding his body around yours. "I promise, angel"

You just nodded. That was all you could do. It took another few moments for you to gather yourself and stop wailing, but you did, and then, with nothing else other than a sad smile, you left. 

Your feet carried you to your room, and you were ready to collapse on top of your bed. Eager to cuddle into his pillows. They smelled like that shower gel you got him and you hated it. You wanted his scent. Not even caring how ridiculous it sounded, you padded over to the chair in the corner of your bedroom, the one Bucky uses to discard all his worn clothes. 

You wanted to find a shirt he wore, one that smelled exactly like you knew him, but before you reached the clothes pile, your attention was drawn to the window.

Steve was standing there, facing the busy streets outside, hands in his pocket and his head turned in your direction.

"I didn't see you, sorry" you gasped, as your eyes accommodated to the darkness.

"It's fine" he shook his head, "I just figured you'd turn on the lights, you know, like the normal people. Didn't think I'd scare you"

"Yeah, sorry" you sighed, plopping down on the edge of the bed. "I did even think about turning the lights on"

He didn't say anything, but you saw him nod. He knew your pain. He lost enough in his life, and seeing his best friend sink back into his darkness was surely not easy for him either.

"Is he ok?" Steve eventually asked.

You shook your head, "He's too good of a man to be ok"

"That is Bucky" he laughed, and you couldn't help but do the same. The irony.

Steve's curiosity was palpable in the room. Words could not describe the appreciation you had for him for respecting your boundaries and not pushing you in a moment like this. But he deserved to know.

You opened your mouth to explain to him what happened, but as your mind processed everything all over again, you broke down. "I think he's gonna leave-" you cried.

Steve was quick to gather you in his arms, engulfing you in a bear hug, helping you stand on your own two feet. "What do you mean?" he asked, concern tracing his tone.

"I understand him, I do. And I promised I won't try to get him to stay if he doesn't want to. But- but I should've done more, Steve. I should've shown him somehow how much I love him. But I'm afraid he'll leave, and I don't want to live-"

"Hey, hey, hey" Steve hurried to stop you, petting your head softly before urging you to look up at him. "Bucky loves you more than I ever thought possible, ok? There's no question about it. I'm sorry I'm doing this, but I think he'll postpone it anyway"

"What?"

"The man wants to marry you, ok?" Steve smiled, "He asked Tony if he had any work for him so he could raise money. Can you imagine how that went down? He was red like a tomato, but he didn't think twice. James Barnes used the computer to look for rings for you. The Bucky I know? Never would've done this. You brought to life a part of him that no one else has seen before. He loves you. With all that he is. And trust me when I tell you, he won't stand to be away from you. You're his whole world, Y/n. He's my best friend, trust me when I tell you this is something you'll work through. I'll help, we'll all help. You're not gonna lose him, Y/n. He's so beat up about all of this because he loves you this much. He's all yours. If he decides to leave, I need you to be strong because he will be back. I got him back 70 years later. You just need to trust him. Trust his heart, ok?"

"Oh my god" you cried, "I don't know what to say"

"Don’t say anything" he chuckled, "We've been through so much together. All of us. Even if we try, nothing pulls us apart, ok? How many times has Loki died, hm?"

"God, Steve!" you scoffed somewhat amused and pulled back just to hit him, "Did you seriously compare Bucky to Loki!?"

"It got you to smile, didn't it?" he laughed. "But I'm serious. You've both been through so much worse than this. You'll get through this one too. And in case you ever feel like you won't, I'm here, ok?"

"Ok…"

Funny as it all was, it worked. He calmed you down - to some extent. Gave you hope you didn't know existed. If it wasn't for Steve, you probably would have not been able to fall asleep. And even though dreams didn't visit you, and you never relaxed enough to actually get some rest, you just dozed off. All clothed and curled diagonally on the bed, you cuddled Bucky's pillow to your chest as your eyes slowly fell closed.

When you opened them again, it was still dark out. You had no idea what pulled you awake as you struggled to sit up on the bed, but then you heard Bucky's voice again, from the doorway.

"Y/n?"

“Buck?” you gasped, turning around. Only his silhouette was visible, head hung low and hands deep in his pockets. He was leaning against the doorway, silently awaiting your response.

Right then and there, you felt your world collapse. Steve’s monologue made you actually fucking believe things would be fine, but here he was, keeping his promise. In the buttcrack of night, he kept his word, bidding you a much feared farewell.

“Is-” you sobbed, jumping out of bed and rushing towards him. You almost knocked him off of his feet when you flung yourself at him, but he was quick to reciprocate, caging you between his arms. “Is this it? You’re leaving?”

He didn’t say anything which frankly made everything worse. You broke down even further, clinging to his shirt as if it was the only source of oxygen keeping you alive - it sure felt like it.

“Look at me” Bucky urged you, tilting your chin up, “Please?”

You slowly lifted your head, your eyes meeting his.

“I’m sorry, I will make it up to you” he whispered, a frown settling above his tired eyes, “You’ll see”

“What does that even mean?" you questioned, tired and sick of this ongoing conflict that should not even have been an issue to begin with. "You don't have to make up for anything"

"I know you see things like that" he cooed, rubbing his thumb along your cheekbone. He spoke softly, his breath fanning against your skin, somehow, even in this situation, managing to calm you down. "But you can understand me too, right?"

"I don't want to" you shrugged, "I don't care. Why does it matter if I understand you or not if you're gonna leave anyway?"

"I'm not leaving, doll"

"What!?" you beamed, pulling away from his hold and grabbing his face in your palms, "You're not- but you're-"

His whole frame softened, "I'm not here to say goodbye, Y/n. I'm not going anywhere"

"Oh god" you gasped.

"Come on, come here" Bucky chuckled softly, bringing you back into his hold, "I'm staying here. I'm sorry for everything I put you through. You're the most badass woman I know and I managed to break you"

"I love you, Buck" 

"I love you more, Y/n" he sighed, "I'll make everything right, I promise"

"Oh, fuck" you breathed out relieved, "Just do whatever you want, I don't care. You're here. That's all that matters."

"And we also need to teach you to fight-" he added, "For real. And find a way for you to take those goddamn shackles off in case this happens again"

"Tony won't be too happy about it" you laughed.

"Fuck if I care-" Bucky said strenly, pointing at you, "Next time, you need to be able to stop me. And fast"

"Maybe it won't happen again"

"Maybe not" Bucky nodded, "But if it does, we need to be ready"

"Thank you" you said, "I know I didn't play this right. I know I literally dismissed everything that you must have gone through today. I'm sorry"

"You don't get to be sorry" Bucky stopped you, "Not after-"

"Then you don't get to, either!"

"Meh" he shrugged, "We'll see"

"Bucky!"

"I love you" he laughed, bending down to pick you up. He planted his hands on the back of your thighs, picking you up with ease and walking you over to the bed. You plopped back against the fluffy mattress with a huff, and giggled as he crawled his way on top of you. Instantly, his lips met yours. It was exhilarating, the kind that made your chest ache. You moaned against his lips as love transpired through his touch. It was overwhelming and the first happy tears of the day streamed down your temples as you arched yourself against him.

"I'm so weak for you, fuck" Bucky groaned, his right arm reaching around your back and pressing you against his chest. "You're everything" he added as he kissed his way along your neck, "I'm all yours forever, Y/n. I love you too much"

"I'm here, baby" you moaned, hiding your face into his shoulder, "You're mine, Bucky. All mine."

His lips didn't leave your body as he pushed himself up just enough to be able to reach the buckle of his jeans. The sound made your core ache, and your mouth watered.

There was no patience in his movements. He barely pulled his jeans down to his knees before ridding you of your pajama pants. He lodged himself between your thighs, his mouth instantly back on yours again.

"Come on" you panted, steading your arms against his strong back. Your legs found their way around his frame, ready to pull him closer.

When Bucky guided his hands between your bodies to align the tip of his cock with your opening, you whimpered in anticipation. Agonisingly slow, he trailed his tip along your folds before reaching your clit. With a blissful moan, he reached further up, tapping his cock against your bare cunt a couple of times before returning his attention back to you. 

"I got you, baby" he hummed, pecking your lips. "You ready? Is this ok?"

With eagerness, you nodded and wiggled under his weight, your pussy aching for him. "Yes, yes"

When you felt his cock push past your folds, you moaned out loud, your voice cracking with the pure pleasure that took over your being.

He eased himself in, going all the way until he all but knocked the breath out of you, and he stopped. Bucky reached down to kiss you again, his cock motionless, balls deep inside of you.

He bit down on your lip and you giggled.

"Felt your pussy clench around me, doll" he laughed, "You're good to me"

"You may be all mine, Buck, but I'm all yours too"

"Holy shit" he panted, shaking his head in disbelief. It was as if you weren't real. He'd have pinched himself, but if this was a dream, he really did not want to wake up. So he kept going.

Nibbling at the skin of your neck, he started to pull himself out of you. The slow pace was driving you insane. Your need grew so strong you felt everything. His breath, the way his hair tickled your chin, his strong around around your shoulders, his massive thighs rubbing against yours, every small vein along his cock that drove you closer and closer to the sweetest bliss you had ever known. 

He got you all worked up at an agonisingly slow pace, before his thrusts became more and more aggravated. You moaned with each thrust despite your struggles to keep quiet.

"You know how much I love hearing you, doll" Bucky shook his head as he drove himself back inside of you all the way, "Moan for me"

"Fuck, ok" you gasped, and closed your eyes as you started to fall apart. You gripped the bed sheets into your hands and pulled as he kept fucking you, deep and hard.

"You're so good, baby" he groaned, "So, so good for me"

He sunk his teeth into your shoulder, fervently sucking deep, maroon marks all ice your skin. Gutural grounds betrayed his air of self control as a plethora of curse words escaped his lips. "Taking me so fucking well. I can't keep going like this, you're too fucking tight-"

"Cum, baby" you encouraged, voice low and tender as you spoke against his ear, "Cum for me"

"Don’t have to tell me twice" he chuckled.

His thrusts started to become sloppy and irregular, as his eyes flew closed. You missed the blue of his eyes, but his mouth was slightly agape as he panted his way to an orgasm.

His chest heaved against yours, "How do you feel so fucking good?" Bucky cursed, eyes still closed as he barely managed to mumble his words between the numerous grunts of pleasure that forced their way out of his throat.

You gave him no answer, instead just clung to him tighter, "Fuck, Bucky, I'm close-"

"Come on" he encouraged, hurrying to rub your clit. His fingers found your bud in an instant, working experienced, familiar circles that almost drove you over the edge. "Cum with me, ok?"

You nodded, gathering your lips between your teeth. He kept fucking you, harder and faster until he had turn limp under his weight. You came as his name rolled off your lips, and he followed seconds after, pumping his juices deep inside your pussy. 

You felt his absolute pleasure as he breathed heavily against your shoulder. He kept going until you were both spent, and then fell down beside you. 

"Bucky-" you whined, turning over and curling into his side, the lack of contact making you more needy than ever.

"Yes, darling?" he panted, tapping your chin.

"Nothing. I just love you"

"Love you too, doll" he huffed, spinning you around so you laid on your back.

He effortlessly helped you out of your shirt and plopped down on top of you, his head resting on your bare chest. His warm, right hand cupped your breast as he closed his eyes. He wrapped himself around you, "Hold me" he muttered, "please"

"Always, Bucky" you said, engulfing him in the tightest hold you could muster. Only then did you feel him calm down completely, and there was nothing in the world you could ever ask for.

-

If you liked it, please reblog and tell me what you thought? :)

[leon-scott-kennedy]

Distrail

Chreon, Rated-T

Read on Ao3

For a price, anyone could check into a seedy motel, even three people covered in blood, guts, and grime, no questions asked, especially with the ashes of Raccoon City still cooling 100 miles away. So the horizon still held a faint glow of destruction when Leon and Claire stumbled, barely conscious, through the front door of the Tadpole motel at 2 PM October 1st, using each other as support and Sherry clinging to Leon’s back like a koala if a koala drooled and snored.

Two other motels along the highway turned the odd couple away, rumours already flying about Raccoon City, zombies, and a nuclear cover-up. But at the right price, triple the going rate, Claire managed to convince the manager to let them bunk down, courtesy of Leon’s stressed credit card.

The fact Leon’s credit card worked, or that he even still had his credit card, was a miracle. His wallet hadn’t exactly been a priority, and honestly, they could sleep in a cockroach-infested basement, and Leon would be happy because they were dead on their feet after hiking on foot what Leon estimated to be a good 30 miles of rough terrain to get to the nearest town. The sun barely peeked over the horizon when the sky behind them exploded.

Raccoon City was gone. The people Leon had sworn to defend were gone. Sherry and Claire were all he managed to protect, and he’d be damned if he failed now.

The motel room wasn’t terrible; two double beds, a small tube TV, and a leaky faucet. It wasn’t good, but it wasn’t something out of a horrible nightmare. They’d left that behind them.

“I’m glad we don’t have a blacklight,” Claire joked, but her tone fell flat.

Leon nudged the bed farthest from the door suspiciously with his boot, dragged back the yellow duvet, and inspected the mattress before he lay Sherry down and tucked her in. He even let Claire shower first, insisted, while he watched Sherry sleep, tossing and turning and whimpering from reliving the horrors in her dreams until Claire emerged from the bathroom, hair still damp, and crawled into bed beside Sherry.

By the time Leon scrubbed his skin raw, the water was cold, and Claire had passed out cold with Sherry cuddled up beside her, little hand tangled in the front of Claire’s dirty tank top like a lifeline. Leon passed out face first on the other bed. He couldn’t even muster the energy to get under the covers.

Movement woke Leon. He jolted awake, reaching for his gun on the bedside table, only to find Claire, fully dressed, perched on the end of his bed and tugging one of her boots. She smiled sadly at the gun levelled at her head.

Leon lowered Matilda, gasping for air. His arm fell limply to his side. “Claire?”

“Hey.” Claire pulled on her second boot. “Sorry.”

Leon blinked at the sleep crusting his eyes. “What... what are you doing?”

Claire sighed and set her foot back down solidly on the ground, hands grasping her thighs. “I need to find Chris. I need... I need to know he’s okay.”

“Now?” Leon glanced at the clock. The bright red numbers read 7:46. The setting sun outside glowed faintly behind the curtains.

“If you ever need me...”

“Forget me. What about Sherry?” Leon snapped, somewhat mollified when Claire winced.

“I know you’ll take good care of her.” Claire’s attention briefly snapped to the sleeping 12-year-old that had survived literal hell. “Leon... if I didn’t have to.”

“Yeah. Yeah, whatever,” Leon scoffed, then rolled over. His heart thundered in his chest. He heard Claire briefly wake up Sherry to say goodbye, promising they’d be in touch, that if Sherry ever needed her, all she needed to do was call.

The door creaked open. Leon clenched his eyes shut, willing down the panic swelling in his chest until it ached. This was it. He was all Sherry had left. They were on their own.

“Take care of our girl for me.” Claire’s voice was barely a whisper.

Leon’s hands trembled, buried in the sheets and pillows, he struggled to suck down air, and his hearing fuzzed. Claire was gone.

For hours, Leon faded in and out of consciousness, barely able to keep the crush of dread at bay. Finally, at some point around 3 AM, he gave up all pretense to sleep and kept a vigilant guard. He jumped at a car alarm, tensed at the slam of a door, and clenched Matilda tightly when soft footfalls passed their door. Eventually, Sherry climbed into his bed to watch early morning cartoons with him.

“Is Claire going to be okay?” Sherry asked softly. She hugged Leon’s arm, cuddling into his side like he used to with his grandma.

“Yeah. Don’t worry about her,” Leon said. He slumped to the side, gently resting his head on top of Sherry’s. “She’ll be fine, kiddo.”

When the sun rose, Leon and Sherry trekked down to the front office to extend their stay another night, then hiked into town searching for clothes and sustenance. Being out in public, surrounded by people, set both Leon and Sherry on edge. They jumped at the slightest sound, and Sherry refused to release Leon’s hand for anything less than going to the bathroom, and even then, he had to stand guard outside the stall. Thank god he had pissed before they left the motel because Sherry was clinging to the back of his jacket while he tried seemed ridiculous.

Their shopping trip was quick. They grabbed what they could, Sherry setting a brisk pace through the little thrift store they found, dragging Leon from rack to rack. They scrounged up a few changes of clothes, socks, underwear, which Leon was a little uncertain of, a jacket that fits over his side holster since he had a license to carry, and a backpack that they filled with snacks and a deck of cards from a little corner store. It turns out Leon’s palette was similar to a twelve-year-old.

The tenuous credit limit finally crapped out on Leon when he tried to buy a six-pack at a shady liquor store on the way back to the motel.

“No job. No money. Just great,” Leon sighed.

For the rest of the day, they holed up in their room munching on junk food, watching terrible daytime TV, and playing Go Fish until Leon made the brilliant decision to teach Sherry how to play poker, and she fleeced him for all the Cheetos.

Leon had no plan beyond survive, and he hadn’t even planned for that. His body ached from being tossed by mutated monsters and shot. His wrapped shoulder twinged.

“Shit,” Leon cursed and clutched his wound. They needed help. He needed help. Taking care of a kid without any resources would be impossible; never mind, he’d never taken care of a person in his life. He had no siblings, no parents. His grandma died when he was nine.

Leon smiled at Sherry in reassurance when she questioned him. This little girl couldn’t be another statistic of the system. He could fix that. He would fix that.

Covered in orange Cheeto dust, Sherry crashed around 8 in the evening. The glow of the sun behind the curtain reminded Leon of the mushroom cloud that had enveloped the sky 36 hours ago. Leon’s stomach twisted in knots. Every creak, every thump, every squeaky break, Leon tensed, waiting for something to crash through the door and disrupt the precarious peace.

Leon hunkered down on his bed, the one closest to the door and any potential threat that came for them, and prepared for another sleepless night on edge.

Bang! Bang! Bang!

Around one in the morning, his eyes beginning to droop, Leon nearly fell off the bed in his mad scramble for his gun when someone knocked heavily on the door. Checking his clip, Leon cautiously crept to the door, motioning for now very awake Sherry to stay out of sight.

“Who is it,” Leon called.

“Hi. Look, I’m sorry to bother you. My name is Chris Redfield. I’m looking for my sister Claire.”

Leon blinked and glanced back at Sherry, whose head had popped out of the blanket at the sound of Claire’s name. Then, double-checking he had bolted the chain, Leon opened the door a crack to peek out.

A man a little taller than Leon stood under the flickering light outside the door, his hair cut short and a 5 o’clock shadow. Chris Redfield, decorated member of the Racoon City Stars Division. Leon recognized him from the old photo Claire had shown him, but also the records he’d run across during his frantic hunt through the Police Department.

“Chris?” Leon said, astonished it was actually him. He slammed the door, unbolted the chain, and flung the door open again. “What the- Claire’s looking for you. What are you doing here?”

Chris, who eyed the gun uncertainly, brightened at the mention of his sister. “Is she here? The manager at the front recognized her. Said she was here with some guy and a kid.” Chris glanced past Leon into the room to Sherry curled up in the other bed peering out with curious fear from under the blankets.

Leon shook his head, eyes scanning the parking lot. “She’s not here. She left this morning to find you.”

“Fuck.” Chris winced and glanced at Sherry again. “Shit, sorry.”

Sherry giggled into her hands, and Leon rolled his eyes. “I think she’s dealt with worse.” Like the apocalypse.

“But she’s okay. She’s alive?” Chris asked.

“Who? Claire? Yeah. Yeah, she’s fine. Saved my ass more than a few times.” Leon smiled wistfully and then frowned. So Claire had left, and now, here, her brother was trying to track her down. It must be nice to have someone that gave a damn about you.

“Oh, thank god.” Then, finally, all the tension and stiffness in Chris’ posture melted. “I got her message, and...”

Leon scanned the dark parking lot again for any sign of life, then gestured into the motel room. “You should come in.”

“No.” Chris waved off the invitation. “No, I need to find her.” But the fatigue in his voice threatened to topple him, and that would definitely fell Leon if he tried to catch him.

“Dude, you’re dead on your feet,” Leon said. “It’s the middle of the night. Crash for a few hours.”

“Yeah!” Sherry chimed in, bouncing on her bed. “Stay!”

Chris shook his head. “I can’t.”

Leon pursed his lips. “Look, I don’t know you, man. But I do know that if you pass out behind the wheel and wrap yourself around a pole, you’re pretty damn useless to her.”

Chris opened his mouth to argue, and Leon sighed, tilting his head to the side, ready to give up when Chris snapped his mouth closed and cleared his throat. He studied Leon closely, scrutinizing him like he would a suspect, but Chris must have been satisfied with what he found - weakness, terror, immaturity - because he finally said, “just a few hours.” And the anxiety squeezing the life out of Leon eased, just a tiny bit. Enough that he could breathe.

Chris excused himself to run and grab his go-bag, and Leon cursed his stupidity because nothing was stopping Chris from running. That tightness immediately returned, but a few minutes later, another sharp knock sounded at the door.

Leon smiled tiredly and welcomed Chris into the room, relieved to have the company, someone who knew what they were doing; an adult. Leon grew up fast, but he’d never been an adult in his life. Racoon City was supposed to be a fresh start, and now, he was back to square one. Not even. He was in the basement of square one—the root cellar.

Leon finally caught a good look at Sherry with the lights on, still covered in orange dust, her fingers and cheeks stained. “Jesus. Did you eat the Cheetos or roll in them?”

Sherry laughed. “Leon taught me to play poker, and then I won all the cheezies,” she said to Chris, who grinned.

“Nice job.” Chris offered her a high-five, which she eagerly accepted. The hero worship was already forming.

“He gets a little wrinkle right here when he lies,” Sherry said, pointing a small finger between her eyebrows.

“Okay,” Leon said, scooping Sherry off the bed and carrying her off under one arm. “Let’s get you cleaned up and back in bed, munchkin.”

Cheeto dust proved a formidable adversary, but they managed. When they walked back into the room, Chris was standing exactly where they had left him, his bag still slung over his shoulder and his boots laced.

Getting Sherry tucked back into bed became a struggle now that the brand new company hyped her up; no hesitation whatsoever. She liked Chris. She even made Chris put her to bed, Leon faking offence at being disregarded for the new guy, but there was something about seeing a six-foot boulder of a man coax a tiny twelve-year-old back to sleep that made Leon’s chest ache. Especially when Chris told the story of how Claire was convinced that if she left fake teeth under her pillow, she could trick the tooth fairy into giving her more money. It never worked. The tooth fairy left chocolate coins instead. Fake money for a fake tooth.

Leon watched perched on the edge of the other bed, a little envious of Chris’ skill with kids. He double-checked the safety on his handgun, then the clip. Chris eyed Leon as he set his weapon back down on the bedside table, and Leon couldn’t muster the energy to be self-conscious about his paranoia.

Chris may be Claire’s sister and a fellow survivor of Raccoon City, but Leon didn’t actually know him. For all he knew, he was a traitor like Irons or Wesker. Maybe he wasn’t the man Claire believed him to be. What the hell had he been thinking? Inviting a stranger to stay with them?

With Sherry asleep again, Leon and Chris were left to settle in for the remainder of the night. For Chris, that meant shedding his bulky jacket and combat boots.

“It’s Leon, right?” Chris said. He stood awkwardly beside the bed, watching Leon click off the light and climb under the blankets, tucking himself up against the edge of the mattress as close as he possibly could without toppling off. “Claire mentioned you in one of her messages.”

Leon almost facepalmed. He hadn’t introduced himself. He really was doing everything backwards. “Yeah. That’s me. Leon S. Kennedy.” He curled up into a small ball.

“Jesus Christ.” Chris swiped his palm across his mouth. “You’re the new rookie.”

Leon chuckled humourlessly, his hands tightening into fists around the sheets pulled up to his neck. “Was a hell of a first day.”

Chris picked up real quick that Leon didn’t want to talk about it. So instead, he climbed into his side of the bed, the one closest to the door. The mattress dipped under his weight, and Leon tensed. Where else would Chris have slept? The floor? The last person Leon shared a bed with was his ex, who had seemingly saved his life. If she hadn’t broken up with him, if he hadn’t gotten drunk, if he hadn’t slept in hungover as hell, he would have arrived right in the middle of the initial panic, and who knows if he would have survived that. No one else in the department had.

What would it have been like? The screams, the moans, the pleas for help- the sounds still played on repeat in Leon’s head. Lieutenant Marvin Branagh, mouth agape, stumbling towards him with his hands out. Leon had put two bullets between his eyes.

The first indications of a panic attack slammed into Leon. Abruptly, his throat closed. He couldn’t breathe, his vision slid out of focus, and his chest compressed. Like someone reached into his chest and squeezed his heart in a vice. His entire body shook.

Suddenly, a warm voice murmured in his ear, the soothing tone talking him down, calming him. Leon wasn’t alone. He wasn’t trapped in the police station battling endless waves of the undead, the people of Raccoon City he’d taken an oath to serve and protect.

“Leon, kid, you need to breathe,” Chris said. His presence was a solid wall behind Leon. “I’m going to touch you, okay?”

Leon focused on Chris’ voice. His vision began to swim back into focus, his hearing rushed back in a sudden wall of familiar night noises like the drip of the faucet in the bathroom or the lonely car that passed on the highway. He nodded, not fully understanding what Chris was saying. An arm slid around his waist and pulled him back into a firm chest. Leon flailed, seconds from panic again when Chris’ voice rumbled in his ear.

“You’re going to be okay. I got you.”

Leon grasped Chris’ arm, his grip probably tight enough to leave bruises, and he choked on a shuddering sob.

“It’s okay, Leon. You’re going to be okay.”

Gasping for air, Leon rolled over and buried his face in Chris’ chest, and Chris let him. Leon’s sobs were muffled in Chris�� arms, not wanting to disturb Sherry in the next bed. He felt every subtle muscle flex when Chris tightened his grip or shifted them into a more comfortable position. That’s how Leon passed out, wrapped in the reassuring embrace of a complete stranger, one who understood the hell he’d lived through and the fear and uncertainty he felt in his soul.

Morning came quickly. Leon woke up still curled into Chris’ chest with a death grip on the other man’s faded t-shirt. Chris’ nose was buried in Leon’s hair, each soft snore ruffling his hair, but his embrace hadn’t lessened overnight.

The warmth of embarrassment burning, Leon snuck out of bed, anxiously loosening Chris’ hold and dashing for the safety and solitude of the bathroom, horrified at his complete lack of control the night before. No one had held him like that before, at least not since he was a child and his grandma would sit up with him after a nightmare. But, sadly, this was another type of nightmare, a waking one.

When Leon finally mustered the courage to wander back into the room, Chris was up, sitting on the edge of the bed with his elbows on his knees.

“You okay?” Chris asked the same time Leon burst out, “I’m sorry!”

Chris sighed. “You didn’t do anything wrong. When I showed up on your doorstep last night, I saw right away that you were barely holding it together.”

Leon’s fists clenched at his side. He couldn’t meet Chris’ gentle gaze.

Chris crossed the room in two enormous strides and considerately grasped Leon by the shoulders. “It was the shock finally hitting you. It happened to me too, but I was alone,” Chris admitted. “Hey. Hey, come on. Look at me.”

Leon bit his lower lip, but he slowly looked up, eyes stinging. “I don’t know what to do.”

Telegraphing his movements, Chris gently pulled Leon into a tight hug. “You’re not alone. We’re going to do this together. I want to take Umbrella down, but first, I wanna make sure you’re okay.”

Leon jerked back so fast Chris stumbled. “I want to help. I want to make those sons of bitches pay.”

Chris smiled. “Good. But first, I have a safe house.”

Together, they set the plans. Leon and Sherry would meet Chris in two days, hopefully with Claire in tow, at Chris’ new safehouse three states over. Sherry and Leon could catch a bus a couple miles down the highway to get them most of the way. The trick would be getting up the mountain to the cabin. But they were in this together. Hope simmered once again.

Armed with a freshly drawn map on motel stationery, Leon watched Chris pack. Umbrella wouldn’t know what hit them.

“Here. Take it.”Chris handed Leon two rumpled twenties, a five, and a few ones he dug out of his wallet. “It’s all the cash I have on me, but it should be enough to get you there. I’ll drop you off-”

“No.” Leon took the cash, but waved off Chris’ offer to give him and Sherry a lift to the bus station. “It’s in the opposite direction. We’ll be fine.”

“Two days,” Chris promised. Sherry had climbed out of bed and now clung to Chris’ arm as if he couldn’t leave as long as she was attached. He ruffled her hair. “With or without Claire, I’ll be there and we’ll go from there.” Chris grabbed Leon by the back of the neck and dragged him into a gruff hug, their foreheads lightly pressed together. “It’s gonna be okay, kid.”

And Leon believed him. That is, until two hours later when an unmarked vehicle pulled up on Leon and Sherry hiking down the side of the road, hand in hand. They never made it to the rendezvous.

[authenticmiya]

Nobody’s Fault - Johnny Lawrence x Reader

Summary - Part three to Lose My Job. After a traumatising month of slow recovery, reader is finally discharged from the hospital. However, the drama doesn’t just stop not that’s she’s on the mend. (Part 1 here) (Part 2 here)

Words - 1.4k

Warnings - fluff/angst

A/N - Would you guys wanna see a part four to this? Don’t hesitate to request and message me! Thankyou for your support!

"Good evening Miss Y/L/N, we're local police officers who are working together about the case at the school." One of them said to you. 

"We understand right now probably isn't the best of times to have this conversation with you, but in order for this whole investigation to move forward, we need to confirm something." The other one said. 

"And what exactly would that be?" You questioned. 

"Considering you were pushed off of the balcony-" They began and you were very quick to stop them from talking.

"I don't know what kind of police officers you are but if I was purposely pushed off of that damn balcony, don't you think you would've sent the kids to Juvie by now?" The officers looked at each-other with defeated faces. 

"That's what were here for Miss. It is your decision to send the two responsible for you injuries, to Juvie." You couldn't quite believe what you were hearing. 

"I'm not pressing charges and the kid's aren't going anywhere. I chose to get involved, I tried to handle it and it didn't work, that's nobody's fault." You told them.

"Thank-you for your time, it looks like you two are off the hook for now. I can't say the same about those Karate Dojo's that are in competition with each-other." They told Miguel and Robby before they left. 

"Now let me see my students, well try and see." You joked. 

It had now been a total of a month in the hospital, and you'd now found yourself without a brace and able to sit up. 

"I'm sorry Y/N." Johnny apologized suddenly. You looked over at him confused. 

"What are you apologizing for?" 

"That argument we had before all of this happened. If I had just said things differently, maybe you wouldn't have ended up in this place." Johnny sighed and you reached over to grab his hand. 

"I pray you haven't been blaming that stupid bicker for everything that's happened. It's done with. I'm sorry to, I ruined the walls when I threw your beer." You chuckled.

"Don't worry, your handyman eventually got around to fixing it." He smirked and you rolled your eyes. 

"What's going on in that head of yours Johnny? What happened to every hour being spent in the Dojo?" Johnny let out a sigh, knowing he was probably going to get an earful. 

"I gave up Cobra Kai Y/N, Kreese took over." If it was possible for eyes to naturally fall out of your eyes, they would've been on the floor by now. 

"You did what?" You gasped. 

"You're getting discharged today, I will spare you the details until we are home." Johnny told you. 

"No we won't sweet-heart, what the hell has he done to you now?" You pushed the conversation. 

"If I told you he was the the main reason that the school fight happened, would that be enough questioning me until later?" He asked you. 

"That slimy asshole just couldn't leave you alone, could he? After everything he'd done to you back in high-school, I ought to smack the shit out of him." You snapped. Johnny couldn't hide the smile that came to his face. Nobody he'd ever been with, had cared about him as much as you did.

"We'll save that for another time." Johnny chuckled, even-though it hurt him to think of the bad memories he had with his old sensei. 

As the time went by, the doctors had finally given you the all clear to return home. That was of course before they had told you, you had to be in a wheel-chair, as well as have crutches to help with walking again. 

"I feel like I haven't been home in a lifetime." You admitted to Johnny as he wheeled you in the direction of your apartment. 

"Well I'm glad I can finally have you back." Johnny opened the front door and there was a huge Welcome Home sign in the living room.

"You are the best, didn't really think you were into doing cute things." You sassed and he bent down, wrapping his arms around your shoulders. 

"Don't go ruining my badass reputation babe. Welcome home." He kissed your cheek, making you smile. 

"I've got to say, it's not as messy as what I was expecting." You joked and he rolled his eyes playfully at you. 

"Only the best for you." He chuckled. 

"Welcome home Y/N." Robby suddenly appeared, exiting from the bathroom door. 

"How long was he in there?" You looked at Johnny with concerned eyes. 

"Probably the best part of half an hour." Johnny admitted, making you and Robby laugh. 

"It's good to see you here Robby." He reached down and hugged you, but that still didn't stop the look of confusion on your face. 

"Do you not want me here? Is it too much for someone who has just come out of the hospital?" Robby panicked. 

"Be quiet Rob, I'm just really happy that you're here. What exactly have you two been planning huh?" They both smiled at each-other, and your heart literally exploded. 

"When you were first in the hospital, I took everything out on him. You told Robby that you wanted us to get a long, so we tried. But, it took us some time to realise, that we shouldn't just be doing this because it would make you feel happy, but we should be doing this for our own good." Johnny told you, and you felt the urge to cry. 

"There's no way Johnny fucking Lawrence just openly said that to me." You couldn't even hide how stoked you were. 

"Why are you so shocked about me being the good guy in situations?" Johnny teased. 

"Maybe this is what we needed all a long. That doesn't mean you never have to speak to your mom again okay Robby? I get she made a load of mistakes however, she's still your mom, and I know her and I haven't had the best of relationships, but I guess I'm willing to work on that as well." This was for sure going to be a family moment you were never going to forget. 

The three of you eventually ordered take-out, spending a peaceful evening together for once. 

"So Robby, tell me, what teacher has replaced me for the time being?" You asked, sipping on an ice-cold Coors Banquet. Robby frowned and Johnny let out a sigh. 

"Y/N, they might have permanently given your job over." Johnny told you and you nearly choked on your drink. 

"Well they might also see me in the reception area tomorrow morning, demanding an explanation."  The annoyance in your voice was obvious. 

"They said something about you not being able to come in for a long time while you recover and that by the time you could've come back, we would have nearly finished school for the year." Robby told you, but he should've known all to well that you weren't giving up that easily. 

"I know it's been a month, but I'm not giving up on my kids that easily." You told him. 

"I think you should take it easy Y/N." Johnny put a reassuring hand on your shoulder. 

"I swore I'd never give up on them. I didn't train for all of these years, to be in the position that I am in now, to just lose it over one school fight. Not happening." Robby smiled at you. He was so appreciative and grateful that his dad had actually found someone who was determined. Someone who made the right life choices, but clarified when they had made a mistake. 

"It's Linda." Robby told you and your mouth fell agape as Johnny laughed. 

"She has no qualifications in teaching, she's the receptionist." You groaned, and both Robby and Johnny knew, there was no way you were giving up that easily. 

The night slowly drew to a close, and Robby was reassured that he could stay in the guest room.

"I have missed this bed so much." You grinned as Johnny gracefully lifted you onto it. 

"It's been awfully cold without you." Johnny got in beside you and draped an arm over your waist. Placing a long awaited kiss to your lips, you finally felt like you were home. 

"I'm going to do everything I can to get you walking again." He thought, looking at how you still stayed beautiful, even after all of the trauma. He promised he was going to help you, and that's exactly what he was going to do.

[chrisevansszn]

Valleys and Mountains-BONUS 🏔

2.k words

18 and up only ‼

A few weeks later you and Chris sat down with your lawyers to sign the divorce papers. As you both walked out, you noticed a young girl sitting outside the room. You finished up the conversation with your lawyer and headed out. You walked by and the young girl smirked at you. It had to be Cree. You stopped.

“Did you just smirk at me?” You wanted all the smoke.

“I’m just glad this is all finalized.”

“You must be Cree the whore. Well, best of luck to you.”

You turned to Chris.

“Did you tell Cree about you kissing me a few weeks ago when you came to get more stuff?” You faced Cree. “Don’t worry sweetie. I stopped him, but just know he was ready to risk it all.”

You turned and headed down the hall, and into your new single life!

Life was so peaceful after your divorce. You were promoted within your job to Vice-President, you were focused on yourself, and traveling a lot. Your job had your flying to Philadelphia for a work conference for a week. You packed up the night before and knew it would be a long week ahead. You headed to the airport and was running a little late because of traffic but luckily you made it! You only had carry-on luggage and boarded the plane. You seat was in first class, you put your suitcase overhead and sat down in relief.

You got yourself situated and looked over to see who your flying buddy was. IT WAS CHRIS! You absolutely froze! He was just sitting here smiling. The stewardess come over and handed Chris a vodka and tonic.

“Hi Y/N”

You had to gather your words.

“Chris…what a surprised. This is crazy!”

It had been 9 months since you last saw Chris. He looked totally different you barely recognized him! He had grown out his hair and his beard, he gained some weight, and you noticed a little tattoo peeking out of his flannel shirt.

“I know. I was wondering how long it was going to take you to recognize me.” He laughed.

“I mean, you look totally different.”

“Yeah, I change it up from time to time these days.”

You smiled.

“Good for you.”

You ordered two shots of tequila, and some pretzels. The plane finally began to move. It was raining but not a lot so there was no delay. Chris looked so different but yet so good at the same time. You did your best not to look is way. Chris spoke again.

“So, how is everything with you?”

“Busy. Just work and traveling a lot these days. You?”

“Same. I’m just focused on working right now. I thought to take up carpentry.”

“Really? That is so left field, but then again it’s you.”

You both burst out laughing. You wanted to ask about his relationship but hell no. That’s desperate af.

But then….

“Cree and I are not together. I’m living the single life.”

Woah..you wasn’t expecting that one.

“Same. The peace is really amazing.”

You were so happy that shit failed!

You are Chris continue to chat; both were heading to Phly for a work trip. You caught up on family and other things. You were surprised at how mature you were actually being. The two-hour flight went by super-fast. The plane landed and it was time to get off.

“Where are you staying while you are here?”

“The Sheraton that is connected to the airport.”

“Really. Me too.”

Just great. You smiled.

“Nice!”

You said goodbye to Chris, grabbed your suitcase, and headed out. You got your rental car and drove around the corner to the hotel and checked in. You were staying in the presidential suit on the 29thfloor. It had everything you needed and more. The view was amazing!

You ordered room service and called it a night. You could not believe what transpired today.

The first couple of days flew by. You went the conference both days, hiking, and sight-seeing. Day three you decided to stay in but then you got a text. It was from Chris…he kept your number.

*Hey Y/N, I just wanted to know if you would like to have dinner tonight? *

You stared at your phone. Dinner isn’t going to hurt anything right? You waited 10 minutes before accepting his offer.  He texted is room number 2530, wait that’s literally a few rooms down, your room number is 2525. What in the hell!

You sent Chris your room number back and agreed to dinner at 7 P.M. Chris arrived at your room a few before 7PM. He knocked at your door.

“Hey there, come in. I just have to throw on my heels.”

“Heels? For me?”

Your face grimaced.  You turn to him.

“For me.”

Chris giggled.

“Well, you look great.”

“You as well.”

You put on your heels and grabbed your purse.

“Let’s go.”

Chris opened your room door.

“After you.”

You walked by and caught a whiff of his cologne, Guilty Gucci. Some things never change.

You and Chris walked side by side down the hall, down the elevator, and to his rental car that was waiting outside. He opened the door for you. You thanked him and he went around and got in.

“Where are we going?”, you asked.

“To Barclay Prime.”

You looked over at him. That is a very expensive restaurant!

“Oh, that is top tier.”

“Only the best for you.” Chris smiled at you.

You guys arrived at the restaurant and parked valet. You and Chris were escorted to your reserved table that came with an amazing view of the city.

“This is beautiful.”

“It really is. I’m happy you like it.”

Chris ordered a bottle of wine for the table, and you both ordered food.

“Thank you for joining me for dinner.”

“Thank you for having me.”

“You know. I just want to apologize for everything I’ve done to you. I put you through so much and threw our marriage away. I regret it so much. I don’t know what I was thinking. I feel so stupid to this day.”

The waiter brought over your meals. You took a bite.

“Thank you for the apology. You really broke me with the affair. I felt like I had no choice but to retaliate. I wanted to get even….no regrets either.”

Chris looked up from is meal and took a drink of wine. He wasn’t expecting that at all. It got quiet for a minute, but then the conversation turned light. You both were making jokes and reminiscing about old memories, before you knew it three hours had went by.

“We should go. We’ve drank six bottles of wine and we are getting loud.” Chris said.

“Good idea.”

Chris snatched the check before you could put a finger on it and paid and went back to the hotel. Chris walked you to your room.

“Thank you again. I enjoyed it.”

You said leaning with the door opened.

“Same.”

“I’ll see you around then?”

“Yes ma’am. Goodnight.”

“Night.”

You walked in and closed the door behind you. You stood for a second and couldn’t believe that you even went to dinner with Chris. You took off your heels and sat on the bed.

There was a knock at the door. You went to open it.

Chris was standing there, eyes totally on you. He walked in and grabbed your face and as he kissed you slowly and passionate. You wrapped your arms around his neck, and he pulled you in closer grabbing your ass with the palms of his hands. You moved your hands down and begin to unbuckle his belt. Well…you just opened that door. Chris began to unzip your dress from the back, and it fell down to the floor. He picked you up and you straddled him as he walked you to the bed and laid down. You laid back and watched him undress. He had a new tattoo….what kind of bird is that? He pulled your body to the edge as he got on his knees and pulled your panties off. He devoured you from the inside out while fingering you nice and slow. You ran your fingers through his hair. Chris’ tongue worked magic. You pulled his head up and pull him on top of you.

“A condom now.”, you said.

“Are you serious.”

“Very.”

He grabbed a condom from his wallet and put it on. Chris climbed back on top of you and penetrator your walls so deep. His dick was so thick and long; your back immediately arched. He held you so close as he moved in and out. You could hear him moan in your ear. You licked his neck and moved up to his ear. He begins to stroke faster making you even more wet. Chris flipped you over and you got on top. You rode him with all you had, you wanted him to regret ever cheating on you. Let him know what he is missing! He had one hand on your ass and another around your neck squeezing gently.

“Fuckkkk.”, Chris whispered.

He then flipped you over on your stomach and fucked you from behind as you laid on your stomach. That was is favorite position.

“I’m about to cum. I can’t hold it.”

You lifted up into doggy style to finish. He was hitting all your spots from behind and you both finished at the same time. You laid next to each other. Chris pulled you close and kissed you on your forehead. You both fall asleep instantly.

The next morning when you woke up it took a minute to process everything. Chris was still asleep in the bed. You laid there for a second and watched him sleep. Today was your last night in Philadelphia before you left tomorrow morning. You literally had a free day. You answered some work emails from your phone and looked over to see Chris finally waking up.

“Good Morning.”

“Good Morning.”

“You don’t have a conference today?”

“No. I basically have free day until I fly out tomorrow.”

Chris sat up.

“Let’s go sight-seeing.”

“How did you know that’s what I wanted to do today?”

“Woman…although we aren’t married anymore. I still know you.”

He got out the bed, dick swinging from left to right.

“I’m going to shower and change, and I’ll be right back.”

You nodded. You got up as well to shower and put on some comfortable clothes and tennis shoes. Chris returned about 45 minutes later. You and Chris toured the city, visited landmarks, and did a little shopping. It was honestly nice. The laughter can’t be explained. You both returned to your hotel room and ordered room service and a movie. Yall had sex one more time in the shower before Chris heading back to his room.

“What time is your flight tomorrow?”, Chris asked.

“6:30 in the damn morning.”

“I think the universe maybe telling us something. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

You both parted ways and you went to bed. The next morning you boarded your flight and Chris asked someone to switch seats in first class, so he can sit next to you. You two conversed all the way back to Boston. The flight landed and you both walked off the plane together towards the exits.

“Y/N, I was just wondering if maybe we can hang out sometimes.  I really enjoyed this week with you and maybe-“

“No Chris we cannot. I would never rekindle anything with you after what you did to me. Thank you for the sex and the food. Best of luck to you.”

You grabbed your suitcase and walked away from Chris, leaving him behind and never looking back…not once. Back to reality!

@whxre4cevans

@supernatural-fan151

@fallenoutofrose

@itscrazycherryblossomcollection

@coldmuffinpartycloud

@art-estrange

@coffeebooksandfandom

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[peachyproserpina]

Wickedly Domestic - Roommates and Puppies

Now that I am back on tumblr I figured I might as well upload my John Wick x Fat!OC fic here as well. Maybe I'll find the motivation to write it as well.

TW: Alternate Universe Canon Diverence, Mutual Pining, Slowburn, Sex

If I miss anything please let me know!

There is a consistent thunk, thunk, thunk of her roommates bed hitting the wall. Despite a whole floor separating them she could still hear the sounds of her roommate getting fucked into next week, literally. Usually Maria wouldn’t care that her roommates late at night shenanigans would run into the next morning but, there was more at stake on the agenda today than usual. Maria pressed her pillow over her ears and looked at her phone; it was almost 4 am Monday morning.

There was a meeting in downtown New York that she had to attend, which the commute was a little more intense then she usually had to deal with. Living and working in a suburb outside of New York City allowed for a stress and traffic free drive to work, usually 15 minutes or less, but driving into the city always was a hassle, that drive tends to be close to an hour. Maria rubbed at her eyes and unlocked her phone, she still had 3 hours before she had to be downtown. She felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up, this meeting was with the CEO. Those kinds of meetings either ended up in promotion or termination, she buried her face into her pillow. She could still hear the thunk and a few giggles from her roommate and company. Considering she was already up and too anxious to go back to bed she might as well get her workout in now instead of later.

Heaving herself up and out of bed with a groan she let out a yawn before looking around for her workout clothes. Pulling on her leggings and finding a clean shirt she fished around her room for her headphones. Despite living in New York state for a little over 3 months now she still hasn’t completely unpacked. Moving boxes were still stacked around the room and there was a stack of art needing to be hung up.

She wasn’t planning on moving when she did, the roommate who was busy getting fucked, offered her a place to stay. All she had to do was pay utilities and cook for the house once a week. The home had been a surprise to her roommate Cooper. An estranged great Aunt had willed it over to her, Cooper was already living in New York, and the full ride she received was barely enough to cover the dorm she had to split with 2 other people. When she was contacted by lawyers telling her she is now a proud homeowner and didn’t have to worry about student loans for the rest of her life.

One of the first things she did was reach out to Maria. Cooper was well aware of the tension at home, brewing in Maria’s family since they met in high-school. Unfortunately she had first hand seen more tear stained faces and frustration that Maria was put through. They spoke often and were close, promising to push each other to do amazing things. Sometimes amazing things means moving across the country but their love and friendship didn’t diminish over the distance. So offering the room

All Maria had to do was fund the move and drive 30 hours across the country. Dying to get out of the town she has spent her whole life, as well as always loving the east coast, she packed up, put in her two weeks at her current job and submitted an application to anywhere within a 10 mile radius of her new address. She thanked the stars when a local bank picked up her application and allowed for Skype and phone interviews, giving her the job before she even moved out there. She was introduced to her coworkers through a group chat and she fell into her role easily before she even met them in person.

The hardest part had been leaving old friends, leaving her family on the other hand had been a blessing. Her father and his side of the family had always been hard to please and any relationship with them over the last couple of years had been more of a formality than anything else. Her mother was a different story, tears were shed and a few fights were had due to this hasty decision on moving across the country. Maria’s mother had always wanted more for her daughter than what she currently had but packing up and leaving across the country in less than a month gave her mother bad feelings. Her mother backed off and gave Maria her blessing once she got her job, knowing how stubborn her daughter is once she puts her mind to something.

Her siblings had felt the same way, constant calls and texts were exchanged during the long drive while everyone was proud and knew she would be better for the move. It still hurt, promising to visit during holidays and letting them stay over if they ever visited. But it was like ripping off a bandaid. It had to be done or else it festers and could lead to infection, staying stagnant had been driving her crazy.

Once changed and headphones found under some papers she had been reviewing at her desk, she slid them over her ears and made her way upstairs, closing the door and making sure it was locked behind her. Her cat had the habit of running outside and getting lost or turning up at the local shelter and the last thing she needed was to also be worrying about her cat while she was working in the city.

She jogged down to the gate and opened it before she got into her car and made her way to the nature preserve just a few minutes away from her home. She could have ran there but she wasn’t quite ready to commit to the workout while the air was so chilly. By the time she has parked and started her stretches the world had started to wake up around her, birds chirping and the distant sounds of honking while she tried to figure out what playlist she wanted to run to. Deciding on something beat heavy she started down the trail that would lead over the swamp, it had been a while since she had run outside, usually opting to do her cardio in a class setting or on a treadmill while she binges whatever series she is watching on Netflix at the moment.

She was only half a mile in the trail before she had to stop for a moment. Her “ultra support” sports bra did not help as much as she hoped, having big tits was a blessing and a curse. They made working out hell on earth but it got her more free drinks at the bar then she would like to admit. But it also kept her from being able to run as much as she would like to before she has to stop and readjust.

She pulled out her phone and checked the time, quarter past 5 am, she still had time. She could do a mile before she went home and showered and get ready for a grueling day. She paused her music, taking deep breaths before she started up again, she thought she heard rustling behind her. Which despite being close to the city the swamp held more wildlife than she thought it would. She sat and listened, chancing a glance behind her. The sun was nearly up but running by herself in public always put her on edge. There was always the chance of someone grabbing her and doing whatever they would like to her, she shuddered and unlocked her phone, sending her location and a text as to when she would be back to the roommate group chat. Just in case she were to get snatched up at least her roommates would know where she was last.

She started up again, turning her music up all the way to drown out her heavy breathing and the sound of her feet hitting the trail. It wasn’t until she was almost across one of the many bridges in the nature preserve stretching her calf muscles when she felt something warm and slimy against the skin of her leg. She screamed and pulled her head phones off, looking down to see if she had unknowingly picked up a slug or if some creep had managed to sneak up on her. Letting out a sigh when she saw it was a small Beagle, whining and licking at her leg. She crouched down pet the dog who was whining at her feet.

“Hey baby, where are your parents?” She picked up the dog and looked it over, she saw a name tag, “Daisy- that’s a cute name. Matches my tattoo,” she flipped over the name tag and saw an address, thankful she wouldn't have to drop the dog off at home and try to find her owners later. Daisy fell asleep in her arms while she walked the pup back to her car, the thought on finishing her run gone from her mind. Once the dog was rested safely in her front seat and plugged the address into her phone. It was a quick drive back to the owners house thankfully, it was getting dangerously close to 6 am but she couldn’t not take the sleepy baby home.

She knew if her cat went missing longer than usual or her roommates dog she would be worried sick. No parent should be worried about their baby, that was the biggest motivator for her as she snaked through the neighborhood following her GPS until she pulled up to one of the biggest houses she had ever seen. She knew she lived in affluent part of the state but pulling up the gravel driveway of what was basically a mansion she started to sweat. The bouncing of her car woke the puppy up, who was happily wagging her tail, grateful to be home after wandering away in the early morning. Maria smiled, happy that the pup was glad to be home.

“Lets go baby, let's get you back home.” Daisy ran up the door and pawed at it. Maria knocked and waited a moment, when she didn’t hear any movement in the house she rang the doorbell. Daisy was sitting by her feet waiting patiently for the door to open, it felt like hours while she stood in the massive door hoping someone was home to take the pup in. In reality It had probably been only 5 or so minutes, she chanced a glance around the driveway and didn’t see a car. Figuring that whoever would have been home was gone she turned and started walking back to her car, calling for Daisy, she could take her home and try again after work. Knowing her roommates would be sympathetic to the lost puppy and take care of her until she could try again. It was then she heard the large door open. She turned and nearly lost her balance when she caught a glance at the man who opened the door.

[stillbandofbrothersthirsty]

As Far As Friends Go

Chapter 16 (Chapter 1; Chapter 2; Chapter 3; Chapter 4; Chapter 5; Chapter 6; Chapter 7; Chapter 8; Chapter 9; Chapter 10; Chapter 11; Chapter 12; Chapter 13; Chapter 14; Chapter 15)

Nixon - July - September 1944 All thought left Nixon’s mind as he stared down into Emily’s red-rimmed gray eyes. He wanted to say more, but the words were stuck in his throat. Who the hell was he to tell her anything? He was married. He was a bad husband, a selfish lover, a drunk - he had no business giving her advice.

“Just trust me,” he whispered. Emily’s frown deepened as she searched his face. But Nixon would reveal nothing. The only thing he was certain about in that moment was that he didn’t want to see Emily get hurt; not by Harry, not by him, not by anyone. “Emily, I’m sorry I accused you of not taking your job seriously. You are one of the best people on my staff.”

“Really?” Emily’s voice was meek. 
“If not the best. You’re invaluable. I’m sorry that I haven’t given you the acknowledgment you deserve. I’m sorry you don’t get the respect you deserve.” Emily swallowed. Nixon’s heart broke into a thousand pieces when her chin quivered. “I’m sorry I got so emotional,” she said in a hushed voice. “Don’t apologize.” Nixon wanted to move forward to touch her, to hold her, but something in him wouldn’t allow it. She probably didn’t want that from him anyway. His words could only heal so much in a night. 
“Please,” something caught in Nixon’s throat, “please just don’t say anything to Harry. I don’t want to see you get heartbroken.” Emily bit her lip. It took all of his patience to remain quiet as he waited for her to respond. She roamed his face with her eyes. It was as if she was looking right through him, right into the very core of him. Nixon’s stomach jumped at her shameless gaze. “Fine,” she finally said. Fine, he would have to accept that. Inside, he begged her to say more. He begged her to stay standing there so he could just look at her a moment longer. But she turned to the street, the city’s shadows rippling off the folds of her dress, the angle of her jaw and curve of her eyelashes. She stretched a hand into the night sky and a black cab appeared, its golden headlights flashing. Emily turned back to look at him before stepping through the open car door, “see you in Aldbourne, Nix.” 
Nixon only managed to raise a hand goodbye and then she was gone, slipping off into the night. Nixon kicked himself. Why did he make the same mistake over and over again? He always went too far. He was mean. Why? Why did he lose his cool around her? Day after day he had officers, soldiers, and Tommy’s saying stupid shit to him and he still managed to hold his tongue. But the simplest conversation with Emily would spiral out of his control. Nixon returned to Aldbourne in the morning. He was relieved to be back. He needed a purpose and he enjoyed the work that occupied him. Green replacements were showing up every day to take the place of men Nixon had worked alongside for two years. All of the new faces suddenly made the quaint refuge of Aldbourne feel foreign. The new soldiers hadn’t had half the training the Toccoa men had, nor the rigor that Easy Company experienced under Sobel. Winters and the other officers had their work cut out for them getting the replacements up to standard. Nixon had other things to worry about. The 101st was on standby; jumps were scheduled and canceled as Patton’s army infiltrated the continent. The men were restless. Having faced the reality of war in Normandy, the men were living carpe diem. They went out drinking, fighting, and playing every chance they got. John Martin and Bill Guarnere even got themselves some tattoos. In the evenings, Nixon found himself in his lover’s bed, and during the days he was watching Emily. As far as Nixon knew, Emily hadn’t said anything to Harry regarding her feelings. But Nixon didn’t miss the forlorn looks she gave him. Nixon grit his teeth each time he saw her mooning over Harry’s turned back. That night in London Nixon realized that he cared deeply for Emily in a way that could never be realized. He was married. He was a rogue. She deserved so much more than being a mistress- stop. He had to stop himself there. He couldn’t afford to even entertain the idea. Let her pine for Harry. It was only a crush, a crush and nothing more. It wasn’t hurting anyone; at least no one but him. The reality was, Emily was young. She was beautiful and clever. One day she would meet someone and it would be more than just a crush. Their fight in London had sobered Nixon up. Not literally, but it made him check his own behavior. He didn’t want to fight with her again. He never wanted to make her cry again. If all they could be was friends and colleagues, he wanted to be the best friend and colleague she had. Once they returned to the continent their time together would be even more limited. Nixon was determined to make the most of it. That summer in Aldbourne they worked together more symbiotically than ever before. Nixon’s conscious patience combined with Emily’s keen intuition made their workdays go smoothly. This was beneficial for the American intelligence’s reputation in front of the Brits. The next drop onto the continent would take place in Holland. Operation Market Garden was the brainchild of British intelligence. Nixon didn’t want to sound like a snob so he wouldn’t admit that he was wary of their plan. But orders were orders so Nixon surrendered control. Though Operation Market garden was the strategic genius of the British, Nixon and his staff did a lot of the grunt work. Emily helped to identify drop zones and coordinated routes for the paratroopers to meet up with the British armory. It was a lot of work in a region Emily had never seen, nor would likely ever see. The plan was to drop into Holland near Eindhoven. This meant another troopship for Emily and overground travel through the seized territory. If everything went as it should, Emily would link up with Battalion headquarters just across the border in Germany. That was if everything was executed as the allies hoped. Summer wound down and the first chills of winter came with the falling leaves of September. Back in their old digs, Nixon sipped on a whiskey-laced cup of coffee. “Why are you being so nice to me lately?” Emily was working at her desk, using a ruler to draw a grid on a black and white map. “What do you mean? I’m always nice.” Emily lifted her pen from the map she was looking at to give him a look. “What? You want me to be mean?”



“No, of course not,” she turned back to her paper, “but it’s weird.”



“Why is it weird?”



“I’m just not used to you like this.” “Like what?” “You have two versions.” Emily said, “smart Nix and grumpy Nix.” “Nice to hear you think I’m smart,” Nixon perched on the edge of his desk to watch her work. “Smart as in smart-ass,” she elaborated. “Well, that’s not very nice.” “I’m not the one being accused of being nice.” “Accused? You make nice sound like such a bad thing.” Emily giggled, “I do not! I’m just saying you’re out of character.” “Maybe war has changed me.” “I’m so glad you’re never dramatic.” Nixon raised his eyebrows over a sip of coffee, “If I’m dramatic it’s from spending time with you.” Emily stuck her tongue out at him. Nixon was about to retort when Lt. Colonel Strayer appeared in in the doorway, “Captain Nixon,” “Right,” Nixon sat his coffee down on his desk and followed Strayer out the door. Nixon shared a jeep with Strayer as far as the hanger outside Aldbourne. Winters stood in front of the Easy Company men assembled beneath a large map of Holland. Nixon took his place on Winters’ left and the lieutenants and sergeants fell in by rank behind him. Nixon noticed Emily’s handiwork on the stenciled letters above the hand-colored map. “This is called Operation Market Garden,” Winters presented, “in terms of Airborne Divisions involved, we’re dropping deep into occupied Holland.” Nixon scanned the faces of the men assembled before them. Without knowing the individuals, he could tell who had been in Normandy and who hadn’t; it was the difference of acceptance and anxiety. All of their serious faces hung on Winters’ every word, soaking up every detail of what was to come. As Winters finished his presentation some of the veteran’s expressions changed to ones of confusion. Nixon stepped forward, “the entire European advance has been put on hold to allocate resources for this operation. It’s Montgomery’s personal plan and we’ll be under British command.” Once Nixon finished the men filed out to prepare to jump the next day. “Old men and children?” Winters said over Nixon's shoulder.

Nixon looked over at his friend, “that’s what they’re telling us.” “And how reliable do you think the intelligence is?” Winters asked as they walked out of the hanger. Nixon rolled his jaw, “what can I say? It’s coming from the top.”

“It’s hard to believe this will end the war.”

“All we can do is hope for the best. Home by Christmas,” Nixon said. “Home by Christmas,” Winters repeated as if it were a mantra. That night Nixon couldn’t sleep though he needed to. They would be leaving for the airfield at first light. After an hour or so of staring at his ceiling, Nixon pulled on his boots, grabbed his flask, and walked downstairs. He didn’t know what he was seeking but he had to get out of his room. Nixon took a sip from his flask as he stepped into the hall. It seemed to stretch on forever in the darkness. He didn’t bother to screw the cap on his flask. He made his way down the carpeted steps drinking along the way. Nixon didn’t know where he was going as he wandered through the winding halls of the manor. It wasn’t until he was in front of her door that he realized he had walked to Emily’s room. He raised his hand to knock when the door swung open. “Oh!” Emily yelped in surprise then quickly pressed a hand over her mouth, “Lew, you startled me.”

“Uh, sorry,” Nixon said. Emily’s expression quickly morphed into concern, “is everything okay?” Nixon smoothed his hair down, realizing it was probably mussed from laying in bed. “oh yeah, I just was walking by and noticed your light on. I wanted to make sure you were okay.” “Oh,” Emily smiled suspiciously, “okay, well I’m going downstairs for some tea, you want to come?” Nixon hesitated, considering her offer, “uhh, no, that’s okay. Thanks.” “Okay, you sure?” Emily’s eyes flicked down at the flask in his hand. Nixon tightened his grip on it suddenly self conscious. “Yeah, gonna head to bed.” “Okay, well hey, if I don’t see you before,” she paused, not wanting to verbalize the goodbye. “I’ll see you over there,” Nixon nodded confidently at her. Unexpectedly, she reached out and took his empty hand. Nixon looked down at her grip and back up into her sweet face. She squeezed his hand, “I’ll see you over there, Lew.” It took all of his willpower to turn away from her. He walked slowly back down the dark hallway listening to her light steps fall away down the steps behind him.

[tiredb0igivemesugars]

The Best Christmas

Summary: the reader doesn’t like Christmas but their boyfriend Peter wants them to have the best Christmas ever.

Pairing: gender neutral!reader x Peter Parker 

Words: 2.8k

Warnings: some swearing, drunkness and sexual themes mentioned.

Notes: So it has literally been forever since I posted anything but here’s a little something for Christmas. Sorry for any errors!

The last school day before Christmas break starts was officially over. Walking home now in the cold New York weather, you could see how your school got smaller and smaller. You dragged your feet along the pavement. The weather had been unsteady for the week, going as low as 20 on the coldest days, there were a few warmer days after those, causing the snow to melt and create very slippery ice all over the place. It was snowing again, a thin layer of snow already covering the ice. The small rocks that were spread across the streets to make them less slippery were your source of entertainment for the way home. You kicked the small rocks forward with your dragging feet, creating long marks on the snow, you smiled to yourself. It was nice to have a break from school since who the hell likes school, but you weren’t that thrilled about Christmas. You had been called the grinch by your friends as a joke since you pretty much hated Christmas, you just didn’t get it. The whole idea of it. Your boyfriend Peter on the other hand was the most Christmas person you had ever met, he was asking you what you want for Christmas in September for christ’ sake. Peter had been shocked when he found out that you didn’t celebrate Christmas and he made it his life mission to make you have the best Christmas in your life. Speaking of Christmas presents, you had no idea what to get Peter, you tried to ask your friends and even some of the Avengers what you could get him, but all of the ideas seemed rather silly and unnecessary. You would personally love something useful for Christmas and honestly, a useful present seemed the best and safest, which begged the question: ”What does Peter need?”

”Y/n!” You heard the familiar voice of Peter Parker yell. You turned around to see him sprinting across the ice, making no effort in not trying to fall, which he did do. He fell, flew across the air towards you before his stomach hit the ground, right by your feet. ”Hi,” was all Peter said when he saw you, now much closer. ”Don’t run on the ice,” you said as you helped Peter stand up and began walking with him. Your hand found its familiar place within Peter’s. ”Any Christmas plans?” Peter asked. You sighed before answering. ”No. Just a regular day for me,” you said, knowing well that Peter was aware of your plans, he must be working on something. ”It’s not a regular day anymore, you’re spending Christmas with me!” Peter exclaimed as he jumped in front of you, almost falling, again. You reached forward a little to help Peter restore his balance and continued your way forward, ”I guess I’ll come since I have nothing better to do. Do I have to wear something nice?” You finally gave in. ”Nothing too nice, like what you’d wear to a job interview,” Peter explained, more calm this time. You nodded.

Peter’s home smelled nice, it always did. Aunt May burned a lot of Christmas scented candles in the apartment, which kind of ruined the original smell of the place, but you didn’t complain. She greeted the two of you by yelling from the kitchen when you entered Peter’s home. ”Hi Aunt May! Y/n is going to stay over for a couple of hours,” Peter yelled. ”Okay, keep the door cracked!” May yelled back. The idea was to study but knowing Peter, you doubted it. You could maybe be able to do one math equation and read one chapter of some subject before Peter came up with something else. Last week it was you throwing something at him while he had his eyes closed, the idea behind this was to test his spidey-sense. But this week, it was going to be something different, you could see it in him. When he sat a little closer to you than usual on the floor when he loomed over you for a little longer as he reached over you to grab a book. You were sure of it when he placed a hand on your thigh. ”Peter,” you finally said, not really knowing how you were going to continue. You had kissed before, made out, dry humped each other, but you had a feeling Peter was after more today. You weren’t opposed to the idea, but his aunt was home, his door wasn’t even closed. Peter closed the book that was laid out in front of you and threw it somewhere in the room. He sat before you, his hand now on your cheek, caressing it. ”What?” He answered, looking almost smug. ”What are you after?” You asked, staring at him with tired eyes. ”Do I need to be after something if I want to kiss my darling?” Peter asked, trying to act innocent. You smiled a little, finding it heartwarming when he called you darling. ”Okay fine, but just one kiss. Then we’ll continue with our homework,” you gave in. Peter smiled as he placed his lips on yours, now both hands framing your face.

You returned the kiss, letting Peter’s tongue enter your mouth, but not too much. You felt Peter’s other hand leave your face, grabbing your waist. He pulled you towards him, that’s when you broke off. ”No I’m not going to sit in your lap, I’ll crush you,” you whined, already knowing you’d gone too far, now things needed finishing. Peter blew a raspberry with his mouth as he pulled you into his lap ”I’ve been crushed by a building before. You’re a feather,” he said as he sweetly kissed your cheek. You tried to support your weight with your knees, but Peter noticed what you were doing and made you settle down. ”Peter I’m going to get take out, what do you guys want?” May yelled from the front door. Peter looked at you, waiting for you to tell him what you wanted. ”Just something with chicken is fine,” you almost whispered. ”Lot’s of chicken, all they can spare!” Peter yelled, earning a small smack from you. The front door closed, May had left, leaving you two alone.

Peter’s lips returned to yours, now hungrier. His hands roamed you up and down your sides. You closed your eyes and wrapped your arms around his shoulders. Your fingers tugged on his hair. He eventually moved from your mouth to your neck, breathing heavily he nibbled on your neck, you were glad you brought a scarf along. It was like electricity, shooting throughout your body. You didn’t even realise what kind of noises you were letting out until Peter called your name. ”What?” You asked, out of breath. ”The bed,” he said, more of a question even if it wasn’t structured in that way. Before you had the chance to even think about what to answer, the front door opened. You immediately sprinted out of Peter’s lap to sit on the bed, as far away from Peter as possible to catch your breath. ”Peter! Y/n! I’m back. They, unfortunately, said that they can’t give me all their chicken but I got enough for a family of five so come dig in!” Aunt May yelled as she swung through the apartment to place to food on the table. ”Yeah we’ll be out in a minute,” Peter yelled. You both needed a minute, you needed a scarf.

Once your heart rate had gone down enough, you stood up and grabbed the scarf from your bag. ”You ready?” You asked Peter who was still sat on the floor. Peter smiled as he jumped up and grabbed your hand and led you into the kitchen. Peter and May had a full-blown conversation, which might’ve been an argument, it was hard to tell but they laughed at one point so maybe not. May asked you about your Christmas plans, you explained that it was nothing special, not sure if it was okay to tell May that you had been invited to spend Christmas with Peter.

Peter walked you back home around eight. Happy was coming to get you at 5 PM the next day, that’s what Peter told you. You kissed him goodbye outside before going in. It was time to worry about what to get Peter. You stayed up late, thinking. At 2 in the morning, you got the idea, sure it was sappy but it was something. You immediately emailed a shop asking if your order would be ready to be picked up at 4 PM the next day, you knew that there was probably no hope for you to get it but at least you tried. You went to sleep around 5, beyond exhausted. You set an alarm for 3 PM so you had time to shower and get ready. When you woke up that afternoon you were shocked to find that they had answered to your email, you were happy that your boyfriend had a generic name. You agreed to pick up the bracelet with Peter's name carved to it at 4 PM.

To say that you were nervous would be an understatement, your hands were so sweaty and they were shaking. Most of the anxiousness luckily washed away when you saw Peter in the backseat of Happy's car, he came to knock on your door. "May has to work today so it's just the two of us with Mr Stark and the others," Peter smiled when you opened the door. "Oh, okay," was all you said, not sure how you were feeling. The car ride went along smoothly if you didn't count the extra 30 minutes that you were stuck in traffic. Peter had suited himself to black pants and a sleeveless sweater over a white button-up, hair slicked back. You had found a pair of plaid pants in your wardrobe and paired them with a sweatshirt, not forgetting to put a turtle neck under the shirt. "You look adorable," Peter said when he got a better look at your outfit outside the Stark residence. You blushed, also complimenting his outfit.

Thor was by the door waiting for two of you. "Spider and y/n, you're here! Took you long enough!" He said as soon as you two got closer to him. "We got stuck in traffic," Peter said as he led up inside, following Thor. He engaged himself in the conversation with Thor, leaving you to take in the sight of a house fully covered in decorations. Pepper must really love Christmas, you thought to yourself. Every avenger and non-avenger were there, you believe you even saw a glimpse of Nick Fury. Steve was drunk in the living room having a heated conversation with Falcon. Hawkeye, Bucky and Natasha were somewhere else, probably up to no good. Tony and Pepper were in the kitchen trying to get the final details for the dinner. "Y/n! Peter! You arrived!" Steve yelled from the living room. "Wanna go place the presents under the tree?" Peter asked as he turned towards you, you nodded. You had only gotten a present for Peter, and seeing the pile of presents by the tree you began to regret your decision. Maybe you should've gotten everyone a gift.

"Dinner!" Pepper yelled before you could voice your concerns to Peter. You sat next to Peter, opposite of an empty place. The long table was filled except for that one seat. Tony and Pepper on the ends of the long table, Peter on Tony's left side, Nick Fury opposite to him. Pepper had Morgan by her side along with Bruce. You eyed the table, everyone was there, except for... "Where's Loki?" you asked, wanting to see your friend. You liked how cynical he was, he understood your jokes too, even if he didn't really like you, at least that's how you felt. "He'll show, he always does," Tony said.

He wasn't wrong, Loki did show, in the empty seat opposite of you. Everyone indulged themselves with the delicious cooking that was made by Pepper. "Tony hates cooking, loathes the kitchen, but Christmases, you have to drag the man out!" Pepper exclaimed, causing a wave of laughter to go through the table. "I don't understand this," Loki said, mostly to himself. "Neither do I, never did," you said to him. He turned to look at you, surprised you heard him. "I understand this feast but this "holiday" goes beyond me," Loki continued. "Tell me about it!" You said, happy to have found someone who shared your frustration.

Both of you got lost in the conversation, almost losing the track of time. You had moved on from the dinner to dessert, now you were all just sitting and chatting, soon to be retrieved into the living room. "I mean gifts! It's so hard to buy people gifts!" You complained. Loki said something about gifts too, but you didn't hear what since there was suddenly yelling happening. Drunk Steve was picking a fight with Natasha. "Why is he drunk?" You asked Peter. "He doesn't like Christmas," Tony answered before Peter had the chance to. "And from what I gather, you don't either," Tony said. "It's just not my holiday. We've never celebrated it in my family," you explained as plainly as you could. "You never told me that you have never even had a Christmas!" Peter suddenly yelled.

Suddenly everyone was turned to you. "You've never had a Christmas?" Pepper asked, shocked. "What? It's just Christmas," you said, feeling how your face was changing colour from the attention. "But we have to open presents now then," Pepper continued. Everyone rose from the table. Bucky with a little hop in his steps, he liked Christmas, he was even wearing an ugly Christmas sweater. Morgan absolutely demanded to be the one to give out the presents. You wanted to ask if Morgan needed help with reading the names but decided against it. She was Tony Stark's kid, for all you knew she could already be taking college classes. When she first read your name and came to give you the present you just thought it was the one Peter got you, but by the time she was bringing out the fifth present you were already overwhelmed. "Why do I have so many presents?" You asked Peter who sat next to you on the shared armchair. "What do you mean many? You only got five so far," Peter whispered. "So far? How many am I getting?" You asked, panic evident in your voice. "I'm guessing everyone got you a gift so do the math," Peter said, not really understanding why you were freaking out. "I only got you a gift this is so embarrassing!" you mumbled into your hands.

Peter put his arm over your shoulders to offer you some comfort. "It's okay. I didn't give a present to everyone either. We can say that the presents I gave are from both of us," Peter said. Peter was too kind. Way too kind.

You ended up with almost 20 gifts, which was impossible to comprehend for your brain. You had so far gotten two sweaters, a book, chocolate, a pair of new sneakers and Tony had gifted you a phone. Suddenly you felt Peter hugging you. "What is it?" You asked, confused. "Your gift," Peter said, showing the bracelet. "Oh this silly thing, I just didn't know what else to give. Do you like it?" You asked. Peter stared at the bracelet. "I love it, thank you so much," he said and pressed a kiss on your cheek. "Look, if you turn it around it has "I love you" carved in morse code," you pointed out. You helped Peter put it on before you returned to opening your gifts. You could hear Morgan yell as she ran through the living room, happy that she got the gift she had wanted. Peter's gift ended up in your hands, you knew it was Peter's since he couldn't wrap things for shit.

When the wrapping paper revealed a notebook you knew that tears would flow. Your hands shook as you turned each page, examining each page with care. A picture of the two of you, date and a small note. Maybe what you had done together that day, maybe just something sweet. You saw as your tears wet the pages of the notebook. What did you ever do to deserve a boyfriend like Peter? You closed the book, not wanting to bawl your eyes out in front of everyone. Peter's hand wrapped around yours. "Did you like it?" he asked. "You're an asshole. But yes, I liked it," you said and kissed Peter's cheek.

Tony went to put Morgan to sleep later, after that it was just calm "adult talk". Steve was sleeping on the couch, taking the whole space but their friends could care less and sat on top of the sleeping Steve. You and Peter reigned over the armchair, you found a nice place under Peter's shoulder, your arms wrapped around his middle. "Thank you for giving me my best Christmas," you said to Peter, trying to say it without anyone hearing. "Your only Christmas," Peter corrected. You smiled. "But still, it's the only, the best and I love you," you said, trying to keep the moment serious. "I love you too," Peter said and kissed you. It was a sweet, loving kiss, tasted like brandy.

Maybe Christmases weren't so bad after all.

[astralaffairs]

freedom of the press 05.1 | thomas jefferson

title: freedom of the press 05.1, or the aftermath

pairing: thomas jefferson x reader

words: ~9k

warnings: partial nudity, though it likely isn’t what you're expecting. copious amounts of teasing, and just a touch of financial hardship. i lowkey adore the last scene, but 05 doesn’t reach its highest point of steamy until pt. 2

desc: the 2020 republican presidential frontrunner is an obnoxious, morally bankrupt people-pleaser, but what happens when you become the person he’s most eager to please?

tags: @stargazelaurens @ivory-haired-queens @exoticxchicken8 @assbuttstyles777 @superbarriobrothers @distinguishedpotsticker @fukaaaaaaaa @hereforthepsyche-assessment @ivetoldamillionlies @fangirl570 @thealaddinkid @lasciviouspeach @snazzydoesthings @shy-and-awkward-daveed @rachelhermionerose @soft-weeb-s @gryffinclxw @anamrnk @daveeddiggsit @ayayayayana @marinovakovich @cryinghazelnutt @thefandomgirl03 @a-hopeless-fan @cloudywlw @tinywhim @lolidunnoaboutnow  — hope i didnt miss anyone; lmk if you want to be added!!

SUNDAY, 9 AM

Y/N AWOKE TO sun streaming through her windows, and she rolled over with a groan as the bright glare reflected off the snow and into her bedroom. She curled further into the covers, pulled them tighter around herself, shifting underneath the arm that still lay slung over her torso. It took her a minute to process anything being out of place, but as the sleepy haze faded from her mind, her eyes fluttering open to the mid-morning light, she slowly began to realize.

The man beside her shifted with a grumble. Y/N could feel her breath catch as the previous night’s memories hit her like a train, and she looked up at him to confirm she hadn’t dreamt it – but there he was. She’d made her bed, both in the literal sense and the figurative, and there she was, laying in it. Pulling closer to him was unconscious; she’d begun by then to drown in retrospection.

As her gaze, glassy and unfocused, fell to his (notably bare) torso, he inhaled deeply. She didn’t immediately process the rise and fall of his chest as he yawned lightly. As he finally began to wake up, reaching up to rub his eye as he stretched, he squinted down at her, both she and he looking equally drowsy. Her eyes had snapped shut upon realizing he was awake, and with a groggy hum, he absentmindedly pulled her closer, an arm wrapped around her waist. When she tensed against his skin, though, he raised an eyebrow, and she finally looked up at him, her smile timid despite her state of affairs. A grin broke through his tired features.

“Mornin’, sweetheart.”

SUNDAY, 9 PM; TWO WEEKS EARLIER

Y/N HAD ARRIVED home from her short run in Detroit expecting to be met with celebration and relaxation. She knew that moderating the debates, becoming that publicly visible, would do wonders for her career. The final night of the trip was the furthest thing from her mind – even throughout the flight back, articles were being written covering the questions she had asked, her name was popping up associated with the debates all over the Internet. She couldn’t pretend not to be pleased with the effect on her Twitter following.

Her intent had been to engage further with the work she had done when she was out of town. Though she knew she had her weekend off, she figured it’d be good for her to debrief on everything that had happened, everything she could build on going forward.

However, when she arrived home, she was met with one simple announcement: Angelica was moving out.

Obviously, it wasn’t quite as simple as that.

Angelica was engaged, her long-time boyfriend John Church now turned fiancé. Y/N was thrilled for her, and she was reduced nearly to tears when Angelica asked her to be her maid of honor, and Y/N, in turn, insisted on taking her dress shopping. Alex and Eliza had been over for the announcement as well, as they and Y/N hung onto Angelica’s every word as she recounted how John had proposed, getting on one knee after making her a romantic dinner.

"This is honestly the best thing I could’ve come home to,” Y/N gushed, and Angelica let out a soft ‘aw,’ her hand enveloping her friend’s on the couch.

The night really had been a celebration; the drinks didn’t stop until Alex realized he still needed to drive home and Eliza realized she couldn’t drink while pregnant. They’d learned that final tidbit not two weeks earlier.

“We’re glad to have you back.” Alex grinned, and she looked back at him with sentimentality heavy in her gaze. “Especially after you spent the end of the week dragging Republicans through the mud? We’re proud of you.”

Angelica and Eliza laughed while Y/N just rolled her eyes. “I didn’t 'drag anyone through the mud,’ Alexander,” she huffed, but his entertainment only grew.

“Yeah? Tell that to Jefferson.”

She did a poor job hiding her smile. (It’d really ended up closer to a roll in the hay, but that was just semantics.)

“Tonight really is a celebration all around, isn’t it?” Eliza looked proud of her as she raised her grape-juice glass in Y/N’s honor – she’d cut herself off after half a drink, ever the responsible mother.

“I’ll drink to that,” Angelica agreed, nudging Y/N in the side, whose expression had become coy. Alex raised a glass.

“To the next stages in our lives?”

“To weddings and babies!” Eliza grinned. “And dismantling corrupt politics.” Y/N couldn’t help her light laugh at her friend’s declaration, and they all drank without hesitation.

However, the implication was much more than just a celebration.

Everything was changing, for better and for worse – Angelica was engaged, which meant she would be moving in with her fiancé, thus leaving Y/N without a roommate.

When Y/N brought up the move, trying to stamp down her own ulterior motive and selfish curiosity, Angelica seemed to sense her anxiety at that one glaring fact. “I don’t have to move out of here right away, of course. I don’t wanna leave you on your own, or–”

“Oh, no way I’m gonna hold you back from moving in with your future husband,” Y/N said. “I’m self-sufficient; I’ll find a place easy.” She didn’t have to mention what they both knew: she couldn’t afford to stay there without Angelica helping with the bills.

“I know, sweetie.” Her smile was maternal as she placed her hand over Y/N’s. “Would you let me pay next month’s rent, though? I mean, I’m still a tenant–”

“Angelica,” Y/N began, giving her a warning look. “No chance. You know how much I appreciate you… well, spotting me some of my half of our monthly bills, but I can’t let you do that once you aren’t living here. Move out. You deserve it.”

“And where are you gonna go?” Angelica raised an eyebrow, and Y/N shrugged, nonchalant.

“We’re in DC; there are empty apartments everywhere. I should be able to afford a studio somewhere around here, right?” Angelica, Eliza, and Alex looked skeptical at that. Y/N made decent money at the Washington Post, but with her student debt, her savings were in shambles.

She huffed as she realized the looks they shared. “Or I’ll find a roommate. I’ll just crash with another friend until I find somewhere with a down payment I can afford.”

Angelica sighed. “What if I just helped you with the deposit on another place around here?”

“No, Ang,” she insisted with a huff. Her stare was deadpanned, her tone flat. However, Angelica didn’t seem to be near acquiescing.

“And why not?” She frowned as she pulled a leg up on the couch, hugging it and resting her head on her knee. “It really doesn’t make a dent. It’s family money.”

“But I need to pay this off for myself.” Angelica furrowed her brow, and Y/N could only huff. “You’ll never know what it’s like to have grown up without money, and I’m glad you didn’t, but this is bigger than just a bill. I love you for being willing to support me, but I can’t let you.” She set her drink down as she shifted to face Angelica. “I have to be able to pay my own rent. I’m not gonna let myself be dependent on you, or feel like I owe you–”

“You wouldn’t owe me anthing!” Angelica protested, but Y/N gave her a hard look.

“But I’d feel like I did. I need to support myself.”

“Okay, honey.” Angelica again reached for her hand, running her thumb over her friend’s knuckles. “If you really need money, though, you could pick up some shifts at Mira and Orlando’s diner. You know they’d always have you.”

She sighed. “Yeah. Yeah, I know. I just always feel bad asking them for work.”

“It’s not charity, Y/N, it’s a job. They need the help anyway.” Angelica shrugged, and Y/N pursed her lips. It was a serious consideration; she knew they’d give her the job part-time, she already knew how to do it, and it’d be easy money. She’d worked at the old couple’s diner sporadically since coming to D.C., primarily when she needed rent money right after she made the move. Besides, it was pleasant work around them.

“I dunno… I just don’t wanna let them think I can’t support myself, that I need their help with my finances.”

“And how do you expect to handle your finances without work? That’s kinda how market economies work.” Alex looked unimpressed as he interjected, and though she shot him a weak glare, Y/N couldn’t argue.

His tone was firm, but Y/N’s hesitance was far from unwarranted. Mira and Orlando were her godparents, and they had lived near Y/N and her family in her hometown when she was growing up. Them living and running a hole-in-the-wall family diner in D.C. was a happy coincidence. They’d functioned as parents for Y/N for a number of years, though, and she knew they’d worry if they thought she was struggling to make ends meet. They didn’t need any more stress in their lives.

When she didn’t answer, Angelica continued, and though her voice was quiet, her tone was firm. “Hey. They’re understaffed, and they absolutely adore you. They’ll always want your help.”

“I dunno.” Y/N’s stare was fixed on the floor before her as the silence grew, and she couldn’t bring herself to meet any of their eyes. She’d end up going to her godparents for work, almost undoubtedly, but none of them could do anything more about the guilt that was strung across Y/N’s shoulders like a yoke. They couldn’t keep her from trying to carry the weight of the world with her.

It was Eliza who finally broke the pause, eyes bright. “Come stay with us!” she offered, and Y/N couldn’t help but grin at her generosity. She glanced at Alex, and he shrugged, nodded along, and her smile was warm as she shook her head lightly.

“You both know I can’t accept that. You have a toddler and another baby on the way; the last thing you need is a houseguest.”

Alex scoffed. “Whatever. You’re family. Family takes care of family, Y/N.”

His words went straight to her heart, but she really couldn’t impose like that. She bit her lip before replying, “Alex, it means the world to me that you’d offer. Really. But that’s not fair to you or your pregnant wife.”

He held her gaze for a moment, but clearly sensing her determination, he pursed his lips. “Will you at least let us all help find you a place?”

She gave him a soft smile, though wry amusement seeped into it. “Happen to know any wealthy heirs you can marry me off to? I’m flexible.”

Alex rolled his eyes as Eliza laughed, though he didn’t hide his grin. “Why? So you can go with them to their creepy manors until they die of unexplainable causes?”

She scoffed. “Obviously we’ll go on a cruise for our honeymoon where a tragic accident will befall him, making me the sole beneficiary of his will.”

“What was I thinking?” Alex’s tone reeked of sarcasm, and he shook his head at her before pausing, seeming as though a thought had struck him. “Actually, though, I might have a suggestion.”

“You do know a rich, elderly property-owner?”

“Take out elderly and you’re set.” He shrugged. “Lafayette’s roommate–”

He didn’t get any further, though, as Y/N groaned. “Really? Lafayette is your big idea? You want him to die in a mysterious accident?”

Alex just rolled his eyes. “I’m not offering him up for you to gold-dig. His roommate just moved out, though, and he hasn’t started looking for another one.”

“Do you think I could afford to be Lafayette’s roommate?” Disbelief hung heavy in her tone.

“Maybe not, but I’m sure he’d be happy to let you stay with him until you can find a place.” He shrugged, giving a small smile. “You and him are friends, right?”

Her mind immediately jumped to one specific botched Twitter interaction. Right then, he wasn’t exactly at the top of the list of people she’d like to live with. “… Sort of.”

“Great!” His smile grew with that, taking her words for much more than he knew they were. She rolled her eyes. “C'mon, he has an empty bedroom from his roommate and an open guest bedroom. He has enough space and then some.”

Y/N’s eyebrows shot up. “Geez, you sure he doesn’t live in some kind of mansion?”

“Might be a penthouse.” She fixed Alex with a skeptical stare, and he had the audacity to grin. “What? I told you he was wealthy. Besides, that’s perfect for you, isn’t it?”

She pursed her lips, considering her options as she absentmindedly rubbed her right shoulder, an arm crossed over her body as she shrunk back. She certainly didn’t have a better idea. “You really think he’d be okay with it?”

“Of course,” Alex reassured her, before raising a teasing brow. “Besides, he seemed to take a bit of a liking to you at the state dinner, at least from where I was sitting. I can’t imagine he’d object to getting you alone for a few days.”

“Alex,” she groaned dramatically, leaning back onto the couch in exaggerated exhaustion. “I am not about to barter sex for a place to stay.”

“I’d never suggest such a thing,” he scoffed, though his gaze drifted down to the spot where her shoulder met her neck, where Y/N’s hand had been moments ago, just above her collarbone. He furrowed his brow before his gaze jumped back to hers. “Though, if that hickey is any indication, you’re not exactly sexually inactive.”

Y/N’s eyes widened in horror; her hand jumped immediately to the offending area. She’d set her concealer so well; she had been sure it wasn’t visible, but it seemed she’d gradually rubbed the makeup off of it.

Angelica gasped as though scandalized, and Eliza turned to her with wide eyes. “Y/N? Who have you been getting it on with in Detroit?” Angelica grinned after a moment, though, eyes shining with amusement. Y/N’s face had to be burning by then. “James Madison been a little too frisky?”

“Angelica.” She looked to her with annoyance, her teeth gritted.  She swallowed, trying to keep her throat from drying out. “How many times do I have to tell you–”

“With how embarrassed she looks, it has to have been one of the Republicans, right?” Alex cocked his head to the side, considering her. They’d functionally cut her out of the conversation as they discussed her liaison, and Alex’s grin looked overly self-satisfied, in her opinion. “So, if it wasn’t Madison, then who? Hm? Henry Clay? Chuck Schumer–?”

“Come on,” Y/N moaned. Much of her resistance came from the fact that they were dangerously close to the truth -- not that it mattered, as Alex was ignoring it anyway. “It was just some guy at the hotel; it’s not a big deal.”

“Pence?” Alex pressed, entirely undeterred. He gasped, pressing a hand to his heart as though scandalized. “Jefferson?”

Y/N was glaring daggers into his playful gaze. He was joking – of course, he was – but that didn’t stop the panic from rising in her throat, the burning at the tips of her ears. Thankfully, Angelica scoffed, apparently finding the idea too ridiculous to even entertain.

“Alex, don’t be silly,” Eliza interjected, putting a hand on his forearm. Her kind gaze had fallen to Y/N, who hoped dearly she was going to put an end to his taunting. That was before the impish smile spread across her lips. “Y/N would never get with a Republican. She’s too attached too her politics.”

“Oh?” The look in her eyes had Y/N skeptical.

“Of course.” Eliza nodded reasonably. “So it would’ve had to have been Lafayette.”

Y/N’s groan was even louder that time, before Angelica and Alex had a chance to chime in.

“Is that why you don’t want to be his roommate?” Angelica gasped. “Was it that bad?”

“Or was it just so good you wouldn’t be able to control yourself around him?” Alex wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, and Y/N deadpanned. “C'mon, Y/N, you can tell us.”

“I didn’t fuck Lafayette!” she protested, but they didn’t seem ready to drop it.

“Then why not ask to be his roommate, hm?” Alex appeared to have claimed victory.

“Because I can’t–”

“Really,” Angelica interrupted her before she could protest. “It’d be a great place to stay, so if you two weren’t going at it, why wouldn’t you go for the offer?”

“And if you weren’t in–”

“Okay, enough.” Y/N cut Alex off with a huff. She wasn’t angry so much as flustered, try as she might to appear to be the former. By then, she was desperate to shift their focus from her sex life. “Will me agreeing to crash at Lafayette’s apartment get you off my back?”

She paused, if only for dramatic effect as her gaze flickered between her friends. “Then fine. Ask him. But don’t blame me when he’s not jumping at the idea of taking in a squatter.”

Alex looked annoyingly smug. “I’m sure he’ll be thrilled.”

----------------------------------------

Predictably, Lafayette was more than happy to have her stay with him. He’d never had an aversion to houseguests, but he’d be bluffing if he tried to claim he hadn’t taken a liking to her.

However, she knew it could only be temporary – couch-surfing across the District of Columbia, unfortunately, wasn’t a sustainable plan. She’d spent hours digging through her financials for some saving grace, but she came up with nothing. Perhaps a wealthy distant relative would die soon and she’d be given all of the inheritance as their only living descendant? Certainly seemed possible. Now just to sign up for Ancestry.com, and–

“How much do we have left?”

Her eyebrows shot up as she glanced back at Lafayette over her shoulder, cutting her musings short. She tucked the folder she was leafing through discreetly into the side of the cardboard box before her, careful to hide its label; she wasn’t proud of being caught with her nose buried into her old tax returns, trying to determine how feasible fraud or extortion might be.

Though he had been doing more work than Angelica and Y/N combined, Lafayette seemed to be the only one not exhausted. He stood in the doorway, hands on his hips and his expression bright as Y/N and Angelica packed up some of their final loose ends.

“Not much,” Y/N told him. “Just need to get everything else into these last couple boxes, and we’re golden.”

The three of them had spent the past few afternoons gutting her apartment of anything that wasn’t part of the building, so she wouldn’t be starting from scratch when she found a place. Initially, Y/N had commissioned Angelica to help her with the move, but when Lafayette heard through Alex that they’d intended to spend the next couple days on it, he absolutely insisted that they’d need his assistance.

“Is zere anything else I can do?” He continued into the room, eyebrows raised, and Y/N pursed her lips.

“Turn down the thermostat?” she asked. “We don’t need to be charged for another day of heating, no matter how cold it is out.” (They were in the midst of a blizzard, but to each their own.) “Besides, it’s too damn hot in here.” She huffed as she tugged at the hem of her turtleneck, and Angelica looked at her knowingly.

“Well maybe if you hadn’t needed to choose such a…” She paused, eyes settling somewhere around Y/N’s shoulder. “…strategic outfit, you wouldn’t be having any problem.”

Y/N’s hand instinctively flew up to cover the spot, despite knowing it was hidden under a solid inch of nappy wool, and Angelica grinned, self-content shining in her eyes. Y/N scowled as her friend mockingly fanned herself, pulling at the collar of her own shirt.

“Ang,” she warned. “Not the time.”

“What? Don’t want Lafayette to find out your dirty little secret?” Angelica teased, and Lafayette raised an eyebrow, his curiosity immediately piqued.

“Oh?” Lafayette’s gaze settled on the neck of her sweater, and Y/N glared at Angelica. She hardly stifled her snickering. Lafayette raised an inquisitive eyebrow, though as a grin split through his face, his gaze turned teasing. Angelica’s insinuation unfortunately wasn’t hard to follow. “Wearing zat because you 'ave something to hide?”

“Not you, too,” Y/N whined, and he laughed.

“Mmh, I don’t recall you having any problems with zis when we were in Detroit, chérie.” He folded his arms, expectant. “How 'ave you managed to go and get yourself into trouble this quickly?”

“Hang on,” Angelica cut in before she could respond. “She came back from Detroit with a hickey, though.”

“Impossible. I saw 'er ze last night there.” Lafayette furrowed his brow, and they both turned to Y/N for an explanation. “What, exactly, 'appened between ze final night of debates and when you left in ze morning?”

“It was just some guy from the hotel.” Y/N huffed. It was a half-truth, ultimately, which also made it her default response. “Stop making such a big deal out of it.”

“'Some guy from ze hotel’, hm?” Lafayette appeared wholly skeptical. He hesitated, considering his next words very carefully, before continuing. “You know, you never did tell me what 'appened with what I sent you on Twitter.”

Her eyes widened a fraction of an inch. There was no way he’d caught on that quickly.

“No correlation, Lafayette,” she said, her jaw tense. She couldn’t believe he’d actually connected the dots that quickly.

Yes, his Twitter conversation with Thomas about her had been earlier on the final day, and yes, everyone involved with the debates was lodged in the same hotel, but it seemed like a flimsy premise.

“Maybe not.” He shrugged. “But I am allowed to be curious about whether you ever… spoke to him.” His eyes again traveled to her neck with his last three words, and she glared. Angelica looked positively baffled.

That was when it hit her. It was her conversation with Thomas the night prior that had raised Lafayette’s suspicions. He’d already been wondering what about the state dinner had Thomas so pressed, and the confirmation about exactly how Y/N had spent her final night in Detroit all but spelled it out.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Lafayette.” Y/N’s tone was final as she shut down his less-than-subtle speculation, even though Angelica and Lafayette shared a skeptical look. Neither of them was oblivious to the fact that there was something she wasn’t telling them. “I left the building long before him after the debates. Now can we please finish packing before they charge me another month’s rent?”

“Of course.” Lafayette’s tone was again light, having transitioned back to his cheerful self without missing a beat. The smile he wore then was slightly more knowing, however, and his gaze more calculating. He glanced at the floor around them. “So, which boxes need to be taken out, now?”

Y/N deadpanned. “All of them, Lafayette.”

----------------------------

Y/N didn’t have much luck finding a place from the comfort of Lafayette’s oversized, imported-leather sofa. Unfortunately for her, all the boxes she needed to check for a studio apartment seemed to be perfectly out of line with one another.

She wasn’t worried about the size. She didn’t have much; she didn’t need much space. Give her a place for a kitchen, a bed, and a toilet (ideally, a sink as well), and she was all set. So with that, price shouldn’t have been a terrible issue – she was flexible.

However, she couldn’t find a cheap studio apartment that didn’t have one ridiculously major pitfall. If it was close to work, the bathroom floor was beginning to cave in beneath her feet and the ceiling was leaking. If it was structurally sound, it was drowning in rats. If it was clean, none of the pipes worked. Her ideal didn’t seem to exist.

She ultimately had to swallow her pride, though she couldn’t help but choke on it in the process. Despite her resistance, she’d took Angelica’s advice to work at her godparents’ diner, but everything was a trade-off. Her second source of income meant spending less time on her real career – no more unpaid overtime, no more events off-the-clock, no more pouring hours into research every evening.

Her boss was happy to strike a compromise, to her delight. She’d do dramatically fewer of them, and events would be on the clock. However, she’d be obligated to cover every event that Ashley assigned her.

The lack of flexibility felt like a small price to pay. The next afternoon, it meant that Y/N didn’t have to attend another local Republican primary town hall, which meant another day that she could avoid confronting what’d happened in Michigan. (However, that meant she was being sent to a Jefferson campaign fundraiser just days later, but you can’t win them all.)

Instead, she took that time to go job-searching, which manifested itself strikingly similarly to Y/N begging her godmother for shifts.

“Mija, do you need money? You know you don’t have to be shy; you can ask us for it.” Y/N had shown up after her hours at the WaPo, and Mira pulled her by the elbow into the kitchen almost the moment she’d begun talking. She looked at Y/N with concern in her eyes, and Y/N sighed. This was exactly what’d caused her hesitance in the first place.

“Mira, I love you, but I can’t accept that.”

Mira furrowed her brow, tossed her dishrag over her shoulder before folding her arms. “And why not. Hm? You need it!”

“I know you only want the best for me, but I won’t just take your money. Let me work for it, okay?” What they both knew went unsaid – it’d stretch them thinner than thin to give Y/N any money, let alone enough to pay off her debts. “I’ve worked here before, more than once. I already know what I’m doing, so you won’t even have to train me. Just let me pick up some shifts?”

Though she pursed her lips, Mira refrained from arguing. It would be to little avail. “Fine. If it means having you around more often, it’ll be done gladly.” Mira put on an adoring pout, reaching up to try to pinch one of Y/N’s cheeks, who deflected it with a sigh that didn’t hold even the facade of exhaustion. “You don’t come around enough! We miss you, mija.”

“You’re too much, you know that?”

“And what’s wrong with that, hm?” Mira winked, a grin working its way onto her face, before she nodded toward the diner’s counter through the kitchen window. “I gotta go back to our customers, though. Talk to Jac about shifts, okay?”

“Sounds great.”

Mira pulled her in for a hug, kissed her on the forehead before leaving. (She had to pull Y/N down to reach her head.) “You know you can always come to us if you need help. Always.”

Y/N’s smile softened. “I know, Mira.”

“Good.” She held her gaze just a moment longer, squeezed Y/N’s hand, before she finally turned, leaving Y/N to look for Jac.

Jac – short for Jacinto, but none of their grade-school friends really tried to pronounce it, and the nickname had stuck – was Mira’s son. He was a year older than Y/N, and they’d grown up as siblings in every way but literally before they both moved to DC within months of one another. So when she spotted him over toward the front of the kitchen slicing a ham, she didn’t hesitate to go over and greet him, smile wide.

He jumped when she elbowed him to get his attention, letting out a yelp. He turned to see her, eyes wide, and he sighed. “Do you make a hobby of trying to get my thumbs cut off?”

She shrugged, feigning innocence. “I dunno what you’re talking about. I’d never put you in danger.”

“You pushed me while I had my hand in a meat slicer.”

“You put you in danger when you put your hand in a meat slicer.”

He scowled, though they both knew his annoyance wasn’t in earnest as he focused his attention back on his task. “What are you here for, anyway? If you want dinner, you’re not exempt from the line.”

“I need work.”

That got his attention. “You do?” His eyes were wide, and she shifted her weight where she stood, not eager to own up to her financial trouble. “What for? Aren’t you still doing great with the Washington Post? I saw you on TV last week.”

“You’ve been watching me?” She put a hand over her heart, playing up how touched she was by his attention, and he just rolled his eyes. “Aww, Jac, I knew you cared.”

“Answer the question.”

A beat passed. “I need a second job,” Y/N finally admitted, and he raised an eyebrow. “I just need another source of income. I’m drowning in student debt, and I need to build up some savings.” It was mainly true. She didn’t want to bring up her situation with rent, though; it’d just worry them more.

He pursed his lips, concern for her not leaving his gaze. “When are you available to work?”

“Any day after 5 PM, and I can almost always free up my full Saturday and Sunday.”

He nodded. “And what’d you when you worked here before?”

“Baking, usually.” His expression didn’t change for a moment, and she quickly added, “I also worked as a cashier and a barista from time to time, so if you need–”

“Relax, Y/N, you aren’t up for review.” Jac chuckled, wiping his hands on an old rag. She raised her eyebrows. “If you want work, it’s yours. Mira just has me in charge of the schedule, so I need to figure out when to give you shifts.”

“I’m flexible,” she added, and he gave her an amused smile.

“I know.” He went to the sink to wash his hands, in front of the kitchen window. “Would you be able to close up on weeknights? I mean, I feel like we can trust you not to rob the diner blind, and Mira and Orlando are too old to be working that late, so it’s me doing it every evening.”

“Yeah, absolutely.” She glanced out the window at the packed restaurant. “Is it always this busy?”

“Every lunch and dinner,” he confirmed with a nod. “They all clear outta here by about eight, though, so from then until nine, you’re just left watching the stragglers leave.”

She didn’t answer, eyeing the crowd before her. The diner really did do good business; the tables by the front window were packed to an impressive density, and she couldn’t figure out whether they were all there to eat together. (Surely that’s too many for one group at a table, right?)

A younger couple moved out of the space, and she immediately saw clear as day exactly why they were all crowded right there. Her breath caught.

There stood Thomas Jefferson, laughing, shaking hands, taking pictures, signing autographs. He was even handing out buttons. Y/N raised her eyebrows. Wasn’t he supposed to be at a townhall right then for the primaries?

“Jac,” she hissed, keeping her voice low as though Thomas would ever be able to hear her from there. Jac raised an eyebrow. “Is he allowed to just be… campaigning from the back of the room? Doesn’t he need some kind of permit to be handing things out?”

When Jac saw the crowd Y/N was staring at, he couldn’t help but laugh. “Listen, I know he’s not exactly your favorite person. I’ve read your writing–”

“You’ve read my writing?” she asked in disbelief, wearing a small smile as she pretended to be touched. He ignored it.

“–And I know you won’t exactly be lining up at the polls to vote for him, but he’s been a regular here for a couple of months, now, and Mom’s gotten attached. He’s not gonna get kicked out.”

All the while, her skeptical gaze stayed firmly fixed on his little posse, and when he looked up – she should’ve expected the result, really; he was facing the window she was looking out of – just a moment later, he locked eyes with Y/N from across the room.

Her eyes widened, but he seemed more surprised than she was. They both froze, hardly for a second, before he raised his eyebrow, his familiar (though unusually small) lopsided grin adorning his lips, and folded his arms across his chest – what a coincidence. His teasing front had taken root in seconds, but from that distance, Y/N was sure she was imagining the warmth of his gaze.

She blinked hard, as though she could’ve imagined him being there at all, staring back at her. He seemed detached from his immediate surroundings as she nodded to him in wary greeting. She had his focus for the time being.

After a moment, though, he appeared to have chuckled, shaking his head. When her gaze again met his rather pleased one, he gave her quite a pointed look as he brushed his thumb over the base of his neck, cocked his head to the side as though in curiosity. Her eyebrows shot up. It would’ve looked to anyone else like he’d simply smoothed out his collar, but she knew better.

She had to remind herself to keep breathing. His point was clear, his gaze expectant as she tried to hide her shame, reaching up to shift the neck of her shirt over the persistent hickey. All day at the office, her blazer had covered it, so when she left, she’d forgotten it would be exposed.

His smile seemed to grow as she reddened, and while she scowled, he held her gaze just a moment longer, before he sent her a sly wink. When he turned back to those around him, her interaction seemed to have heightened the flair in his demeanor, his persona suddenly exaggerated.

She didn’t realize that Jac had watched the whole interaction – he didn’t make the connection with the hickey, thank God, but the silent challenge had raised a number of questions.

“What was that?” he asked bluntly, and Y/N all but jumped, having nearly forgotten where she was.

Her eyebrows shot up. “What?”

“What do you think?” He cast a meaningful glance out the window at Thomas before looking skeptically at Y/N. “You know him a little better than you’re letting on?”

“Of course not,” Y/N scoffed. “I’ve just interviewed him a couple times. We’re acquainted. Don’t make it into a thing.”

“…Right.” He didn’t press further as heat rose to her cheeks.

She cleared her throat. “Anyway, about that schedule?”

---------------------------------

Despite her lack of success in house-hunting, Y/N adjusted easily to life at Lafayette’s. He was a gracious host, and just being there gave her access to more space, food, and alpaca-fur throws than she’d ever need.

She’d just finished showering on that Saturday afternoon while Lafayette was out at the store. They’d run out of something or other – she wasn’t keeping close track. All his food was a cut above what she usually ate, so she wasn’t about to make demands.

She yawned as she stepped out of the bathroom, wearing just a towel wrapped around herself; she knew she’d be alone in the loft for at least the next hour. She padded down Lafayette’s hardwood hall, intending to get the turtleneck (that was seeing more and more use) from the laundry before she went to change. However, it seemed she hadn’t heard the door to the apartment open over the sound of the running water sometime within the last twenty minutes.

It was after she’d retrieved her shirt that she realized it. Her room was on the other end of the loft from the room she’d elected to shower in. (It was an inconvenience she was winning to undergo – the master bathroom had a sauna, an oversized vanity mirror and a shower stall nearly larger than her bed).

She hummed absentmindedly to herself as she emerged into the also-oversized main room, but when she did, she stopped in her tracks, let out a squeak of surprise.

There, standing frozen less than a yard from her, was the bane of… well, her month, maybe. To call him the bane of her existence felt too harsh. His eyes must have been wider than hers, though she looked mortified as she stumbled backward toward the couch. “Thomas?!”

He hadn’t moved an inch from where he stood, facing her with shock in the open path that split the kitchen and the living room. “Y/N?

She sounded like she’d just had the wind knocked out of her as she asked, "What the hell are you doing here?”

“I have a lunch meeting with Lafayette,” he said simply as his gaze began to trail down her form suspiciously. Looking her in the eye, he cocked an eyebrow. “What are you doin’ here?”

“I’m staying here.” She nervously pulled her towel tighter around herself as his eyebrows shot up. His gaze was humorless – a rare sight, considering what she’d found to be his baseline.

“You’re stayin’ here?” he repeated in disbelief, and she nodded, feeling defensive. Again, his gaze drifted lower. “Is it just a one-night thing, or are you and Lafayette… ?”

She let out a short huff, almost a laugh in her shock. The implication was obvious. “Excuse me?”

“You’ll have to forgive me for assumin’.” Seeing her reaction, the offense he’d inadvertently provoked, he couldn’t help the small smile twisting his lips. She rolled her eyes as he slowly grew amused.

“It’s neither.” She scowled, skin feeling like it was on fire. The situation – the amount of specifically visible skin that felt like it was on fire – combined with his speculation had her feeling borderline humiliated. She shifted her towel further up her chest.

Thomas raised a teasing eyebrow. “Really, sweetheart?”

“Don’t call me that.” She glared up at him, in no mood for his clowning, and he chuckled.

“What, is that reserved for Laf?” he teased, and when she rolled her eyes, adjusting the towel she held around her, he laughed outright. “Aw, don’t take offense, I’m only–”

“You’re only joking,” Y/N finished for him, appearing unamused, though heat still settled in the back of her neck and the tips of her ears. “Yeah, I’ve heard this one before.”

His grin widened. “C'mon, don’t freeze me out.”

She ignored his response entirely. “Anyway, I’m just here as a houseguest. It’s all temporary; I’m kind of between apartments right now.” She hated that she felt like she had to explain herself, but she knew how it looked – her, walking into Lafayette’s living room hardly covered, and as far as Thomas knew, Lafayette couldn’t have been far.

“What typa houseguest?” That was as far as he decided to push it, though, snickering as Y/N’s glare burned into him. She shifted on her feet, uncomfortable as he eyed her before him, anxiety betraying her anger, and his gaze settled on the little mark on her neck she’d forgotten about in her temporary panic. Her eyes widened; he wasn’t about to ignore it.

He met her eyes once again, though his shone with a satisfaction she couldn’t prevent. “You know I’m only kidding,” he started, tongue in cheek as he tried to contain his amusement, and she looked at him in disbelief. “After all, if you were sleepin’ with Lafayette, you’d have a lot more than just one hickey, sweetheart.”

She groaned loudly at his words, her reaction making him laugh outright as she pinched the bridge of her nose, and while he looked unspeakably smug, she wasn’t entertained. Her skin still felt hot; she elected to believe it was from the shower she’d just left. “Alright, I’m gonna go change. Lafayette is still at the store, so he’s gonna be a little late to your meeting.”

Y/N began to walk off before he could say another word, but as she reached the opposite hallway, he called after her, the sound of his voice making her pause. She didn’t have the good sense to cut him off, which she began to regret the moment she could hear his cheeky smile in his tone. “Can’t complain, with this kinda company in the meantime.”

She slammed her door behind her, but its sound didn’t drown out his laugh.

She stood there idle for a moment, trying to gather her bearings and conjure up the strength to deal with him until Lafayette came back. She would’ve just stayed cooped up in there for the rest of the afternoon, waiting Thomas out, and she knew it would’ve worked – to her knowledge, he wasn’t that much of a pervert – but it was just before noon, and all she’d had that morning was a granola bar and a black coffee.

Y/N considered her options as she pulled on actual clothes, including the turtleneck she’d retrieved from the dryer. (She didn’t need any more comments.) Some part of her was simply desperate to avoid the awkwardness, or otherwise just her own discomfort, and instead wanted to burrow into her sheets and stream reality TV, but as she was about to give the thought precedence, her stomach growled in protest. She checked her phone. Lafayette had given no indication of when he’d be back.

Grudgingly, she returned to the kitchen, deciding that avoiding Thomas wasn’t quite worth her harrowing famine.

“Missed me already?”

She immediately second-guessed her decision, however. She paused in the hall, taking a deep breath to calm herself despite his raised eyebrow, his expectant smile, and she continued, keeping the Tupperware of Lafayette’s homemade pasta at the forefront of her mind.

“Missed Lafayette’s pantry,” she corrected, refusing to look him in the eye.

“Guess I’m just an added perk.”

She huffed out a sarcastic laugh as she opened the refrigerator, scanning the shelves for the chicken alfredo she had her heart set on. “Don’t let it go to your head.”

“Never.”

She pursed her lips to hide what was becoming a soft smile, unironically that time – but she didn’t have to for long. After another moment of searching, she realized the Holy Grail of pasta leftovers was gone, apparently having been eaten in less than the past twenty-four hours, and she groaned, shutting the fridge and leaning against its door.

“What’s wrong?” She turned around to see Thomas sitting in one of the chairs Lafayette had stationed beside the kitchen’s island. He quirked an eyebrow.

“You wouldn’t understand.” She sighed dramatically, turning instead to the freezer to withdraw her plan B.

“Oh?” He looked thoroughly entertained at her theatrics, clearly not buying a moment of it. Y/N nodded, folding her arms.

“My pasta leftovers are gone.”

He snorted. “Oh, the horror.”

“Don’t you mock me!” She huffed as she dug through his food, bending down to withdraw everything she’d need for her second-choice lunch. “Now I have to eat old fries.”

“A true tragedy.”

“I’m glad you agree.”

He grinned at how matter-of-fact she sounded as she pulled out pre-packaged fries, and he leaned forward onto the counter, resting on his elbows. “Any chance I can get some water?”

She turned to him with a raised eyebrow. “It’s not my kitchen; do what you want.” She tipped the plastic bag into a bowl until it was just overflowing (the fact that they were smiley fries instantly improved her mood) before popping it in the microwave. However, when she reached up to grab a glass for herself, she pulled two down without thinking, filling them both.

When she turned back to him holding both cups of water, his smile was soft, but the moment she raised an eyebrow at him, a grin split through.

“I like the sweater,” he commented mildly, and she paused where she stood, giving him a dead stare. She stood there a moment as he bit back a laugh, before she turned.

“Nope. You’re not getting the water. Good try, though. I’m pouring it out.” She shook her head as she started walking back toward the sink, though she had to swallow the amusement that threatened to rise.

“Hey, c'mon!” he laughed, and Y/N glanced back at him over her shoulder. She raised an eyebrow. “Sweetheart.”

“Thomas.”

“Have some mercy,” he pleaded. He gave her a hopeful smile, eyebrows raised. “Would it help if I mentioned that I was just teasin’?”

A beat passed, and she didn’t move an inch. Ultimately, though, she scoffed as she turned back to him, caving with little resistance. He grinned when she slid him the second glass, though she rolled her eyes at his antics. “Y'know, you can only use that excuse so many times, Jefferson.”

“Seems to be working for me so far.” She leaned on the counter across from him, and he asked. “So why’re you livin’ with Lafayette?”

He looked inquisitively at Y/N as he took a sip of water, and she sighed. “Just… got into a bit of a bind with rent at my old place. Couldn’t have kept paying, so either I had to move out or they were gonna evict me.” She shrugged, looking down. “I’m just here until I can find somewhere I can afford.”

While most of the U.S. was no stranger to vanishing savings and student debt, Y/N had a feeling that Thomas was part of the small minority with no experience in the particular field. From what she knew of him, he’d been born into money and then proceeded to stay in it, so he wasn’t the first person she’d have chosen to admit her financial struggles to.

Still, when she looked up, he wore a small frown, apparently concerned. “’M sorry to hear that.” His voice was quiet, and she let out a dry laugh at the unexpected shift in his demeanor.

“Thanks, Thomas.”

He seemed to take the surprise in her tone as skepticism, and he pursed his lips. “Really, I am.”

She took a sip of her water, shaking her head in light amusement, but when he finally caught her eyes, her gaze was soft.

“I know.”

She held his stare another moment before she sighed, rolling her shoulders back and plastering on a smile. “Anyway, I’m in the lap of luxury until I find a new place, so I suppose I can’t complain.”

“You talkin’ about the penthouse or me?” Thomas didn’t miss a beat before in restoring his playful smile, and despite herself, Y/N laughed.

“Can’t it be both?” She quirked a brow, and he seemed pleasantly surprised at her response.

“You comin’ onto me?” he asked, incredulous, and she rolled her eyes – she’d dropped her front of annoyance by then, however. He sighed, giving her a contrived look of pity. “Oh, sweetheart, I hope I didn’t give you the wrong idea.”

“Shut up!” she scoffed, shoving his arm from across the counter, but his grin in response was contagious.

“I dunno, Y/N. I might have to report you to HR.” He raised his hands as though to claim defense. Her amusement didn’t subside.

“I’m sorry, did I cross a line?” she mocked him, and he cocked a brow.

“If this was crossing a line, then what was Detroit?”

Her breath hitched. The question caught her entirely off guard, her playful air giving way for her anxiety to take over. The traces of a grin still on his lips were the only remaining sign of his teasing demeanor, but despite them, she could see in his eyes that poking fun at her wasn’t the aim behind the question.

Really, what was Detroit?

She took a deep breath, not breaking his gaze. She didn’t have an answer for him – at least, not the sort of answer she knew he was looking for. She gave a small smile and raised an eyebrow, her voice quiet when she replied, “An HR scandal?”

Despite his small smile, he was searching her expression, looking for anything that might shed light on her ambiguity. He sighed, and neither looked away.

He looked like he was going to press the matter, and her pulse began to pick up, but she was saved by the bell. Just as he opened his mouth to speak, the front door opened.

“Y/N?”

They heard Lafayette before she saw him, and despite the mundanity of the scene he’d come home to, Y/N couldn’t help but feel like a deer in headlights.

“Hey, Laf.” Her voice was hesitant as he turned to lock the door behind him, balancing his paper bag of groceries on his knee.

He turned to the pair of them with a bright smile, pausing only a moment when he saw Thomas seated at the counter. He furrowed his brow. It wasn’t a second later when he appeared to be struck by realization, and he sighed, eyes wide as he walked over to put the groceries on the counter.

“Ah, Thomas, was today our lunch meeting?” The words were less of a question than an admission. “I am so sorry; I put it down on my calendar for ze wrong afternoon. I am still available, if you are not too angry after my being zis late?”

“Nah, don’t worry about it.” He shrugged. Anything pensive about his demeanor had seemingly been pushed down when he saw Lafayette. He flashed him a carefree grin. “Didn’t have anything else to do today.”

He hummed in acknowledgment, though he still appeared apologetic. “You are too forgiving.”

It was then that he reached the kitchen to put away the food he’d bought, and he glanced over his shoulder, looked between Thomas and Y/N where she leaned over the counter toward him. He turned back to the pantry to hide the grin Y/N knew he wore. “Although, I am sure Y/N was very…” He met her gaze, eyes narrowed, and she wore a warning stare. “…accommodating. Non?”

He didn’t think Thomas could see it as he sent Y/N a sharp wink, but he wasn’t quite as sly as he’d like to believe. Y/N scowled. All three of them knew his words suggested more than their surface implied.

Thomas was grinning, however. While Y/N’s face was burning, he seemed wholly amused. “'Course, Laf. She’s been nothin’ if not hospitable.”

She looked over at him with dead eyes, and his smile just seemed to broaden.

“I am glad to hear it.” Lafayette raised an eyebrow at Y/N as he finally rejoined the pair, eyes shining. “Maybe I do not 'ave to feel so guilty about being late, hm?”

Y/N rolled her eyes, pushed herself off the counter to retrieve her long-forgotten fries from the microwave. “Don’t you two have a meeting to get to?”

“Of course, chérie.” The charm in his smile was contrived. “Let me go get my notes from my study?”

The words were directed at Thomas, who shrugged amiably. “Meet you back down here.” However, the moment Lafayette left, he leaned on his elbows over the counter, tongue in cheek, and raised an eyebrow at Y/N. “Any idea why Lafayette’s actin’ like he knows somethin’ I don’t, sweetheart?”

He looked unbelievably smug, though he raised his eyebrows with feigned innocence, and Y/N glared. “No clue.”

Though she left the room in a huff, she couldn’t help the smile that persisted for the next hour.

-------------------------------------

Y/N sent: you showed up late on purpose didn’t you

By that point, it’d been just over three hours since Thomas had arrived, and for Y/N, having to write yet another article about him hadn’t proved to be much of a distraction. Unable to stop fixating on the afternoon’s events, she ultimately texted Lafayette, not bothering to sugarcoat the accusation.

Lafayette sent: what do you mean? i would never stand someone up

Lafayette sent: i hope you are not accusing me of having ulterior motives. i am a principled man.

Y/N rolled her eyes at that.

Y/N sent: convenient timing for you to decide we needed a second backup gallon of milk

Lafayette sent: i am just trying to keep my houseguest well provided for

Lafayette sent: how ungrateful

Y/N sent: and what, exactly, were you trying to provide today??

Lafayette sent: i have no idea what you are talking about. it was just a gallon of milk.

Lafayette sent: however, in completely unrelated news that has nothing to do with today, you should not ignore it when opportunity knocks

Lafayette sent: or when he rings the doorbell, i suppose

Y/N sent: he let himself in. feels like breaking and entering.

Lafayette sent: even less work for you

Lafayette sent: i try to be helpful when i can

Y/N sent: we have very different ideas of help

Lafayette sent: you don’t have to interpret something as a gift for it to be one

Y/N sent: was the gift the complete lack of pasta you bought to replace mine??

Lafayette sent: i think you know the answer

She did, of course, but his words also had her thinking. Lafayette obviously saw himself as having done her a favor, but really, Y/N had to ask herself: did she see it as a gift? It was an unfortunately nerve-wracking half hour. It was one of only three times she’d ever been alone with him, and the first since Michigan.

Was it really a gift, or had he actually set her a trap?

She threw her phone onto the bed with a huff.

[noona-clock]

The Bartender - Part 3

Genre: Bartender!AU

Pairing: Jinhwan x You (Female!Reader)

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol

Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 | Words: 2,241

Oh, my god.

You were kissing Jinhwan right now. In front of your longtime friend. In his bar. With tons of people around.

You were kissing him. On the lips!

Why?

Why had you thought this was a good idea?

I mean, don’t get me wrong. You were enjoying it. Your heart was dancing around in your chest, and your stomach was filled with chaotic butterflies. It had been a long time since you’d kissed anyone, and you’d almost forgotten just how nice it was.

But still. You were kissing Jinhwan!

Before you had the chance to pull away, though, Jinhwan gently took hold of your shoulders and pushed you away.

...Oh.

“I -- I think you’ve had too much --”

Oh, my god. Jinhwan thought you’d had too much to drink and that’s why you were kissing him.

Your heart immediately sunk down to your stomach.

“I’m sorry,” you muttered, avoiding his gaze and quickly reaching behind you to retrieve your bag from inside the booth.

Without even looking at Emma, you turned on your heel and headed for the door.

Just as the warm night breeze hit your skin as you stepped out of the bar, Emma caught up to you and took hold of your elbow.

“Y/N, wait,” she said a bit breathlessly. “What --”

“Can we please go home?” you asked softly, your brow furrowed deeply. You were too embarrassed to even talk about it or say his name. You just wanted to go home, get in bed, and curl up under your covers.

Emma slowly let go of you, murmuring a ‘Yeah, sure’ before getting out her phone and requesting a ride.

In less than half an hour, your wish had come true: you had gone home, got in bed (after going through your evening routine and changing into your pajamas), and were now curled up under your covers.

But... was this any better? Because, even though you weren’t face-to-face with Jinhwan anymore, you were still thinking about it. 

The kiss.

Why had you done it? Why had you gotten the urge to kiss him and, more importantly, why had you given into it?

It wasn’t the alcohol despite what he clearly thought. I mean, it wasn’t just the alcohol. 

Yes, you’d had quite enough to drink. But you certainly hadn’t been drunk. If anything, you had been just a little bit more than tipsy, and that was not nearly enough to justify kissing someone.

You had never actually done anything like that in your life, now that you were really thinking about it.

You’d had enough alcohol before -- more than enough on a few occasions -- and you had probably talked to and flirted with some guys or girls you maybe shouldn’t have. But you’d never kissed anyone before. At least, not without going on at least two dates with them -- typically three.

If you were being honest with yourself, though... you were kind of proud. You had enjoyed the kiss, and you’d done something you never thought you’d have the guts to do. You’d never even thought about kissing someone like that before.

So, in that regard, you were impressed.

But then you thought about how the kiss ended.

Jinhwan had quite literally pushed you away. The kiss had been too quick -- and you had been stressing out about it way too much -- for you to really judge if he had kissed you back in any way, but based on his actions... he probably had not. If he had pushed you away, it was very likely he hadn’t wanted to kiss you in the first place.

...Except that really didn’t make sense.

The guy had been flirting with you for two years. He had asked you out on a date not even two minutes before you’d kissed him! Surely, he wanted to kiss you!

You groaned in frustration, burying your head into your pillow and hoping that, by morning, all of this would be forgotten. You would wake up and discover this had all been a dream. You actually hadn’t gone to Jay’s with Emma, and you hadn’t had enough to drink to make you emotional, and you hadn’t kissed Jinhwan out of nowhere, and he hadn’t pushed you away.

But, of course, we all know it doesn’t work like that.

A girl can dream, though.

When you trudged out of bed the next morning, you were still of a mind that Jinhwan had deemed you too drunk to kiss last night. He had thought you only kissed him because there had been too much alcohol in your system. Which was pretty reasonable considering he’d only ever seen you on the job, and he most certainly had you pegged as someone who took everything in life far too seriously. Someone who didn’t really know how to let loose and relax.

You couldn’t blame him for thinking that, of course, because you kind of were that someone. At the very least, you took your job seriously, and since he’d only ever seen you working, he really had no choice but to imagine you were professional all day, every day.

As you shuffled up to your kitchen counter and began to prepare a pot of coffee, you let out a soft sigh and shook your head to yourself.

If only he knew you had never done that before -- kissed someone on a whim -- and that you really hadn’t been drunk at all.

Just as the coffee pot began to gurgle and drip the hot liquid into your mug... you remembered. He had known! You’d told him that you hadn’t been drunk and that you were just a lightweight.

So, either he hadn’t believed you or he hadn’t really wanted to kiss you.

And you found it hard to reason that he hadn’t believed you. Even though he didn’t know you all that well, he had to know that you wouldn’t lie -- especially not about something like that.

Which only left the option that he hadn’t really wanted to kiss you.

Of course, that didn’t make much sense either, but it made more sense than him thinking you were lying about being drunk. ...Kind of.

You briefly buried your face in your hands, letting out a deep, frustrated sigh and wishing you could zap all of these over-analyzing thoughts away.

As soon as the last drop of coffee fell into your cup, you turned off the pot and headed over to your kitchen table to (try to) enjoy your quiet morning.

But the more you drank your coffee, the more you realized... you were kind of offended that he had pushed you away. You were kind of offended that he hadn’t wanted to kiss you, and even if he had pushed you away because he’d thought you were drunk, you were offended by that, too!

And, to be honest, you were also still embarrassed by the whole thing. Feeling a mix of offense and embarrassment was not fun, let me tell you.

By the time you made your way to the dishwasher to put your empty mug away, you were glad Jinhwan didn’t have a way to contact you so you could simply avoid him for the next six months. Surely, by the time you went back for another health inspection, this would’ve blown over and you would be able to face him like a rational, professional human being.

Just as you reached your bedroom to get ready for the day, you heard your phone vibrating on your bedside table. You jogged over, picking it up and seeing the number had no contact name attached to it. It was probably something work-related, and even though it was the weekend, you picked up.

“Hello?” you answered.

You heard a soft sigh on the other line, and your brow immediately furrowed in confusion.

“Please don’t hang up,” Jinhwan said quickly. “I’m sorry, I just thought --”

“I’m sorry if I overstepped,” you interrupted in short, clipped tones. Now that you were faced with actually talking to him, your professional side took over. “Obviously, it was a mistake. I let my emotions get the best of me, and I apologize for my actions. It won’t happen again.”

You took the phone from your ear, and just before you hung up, you heard him say “No, wait -- !”

But you didn’t wait to hear what he had to say. You ended the call.

Your heart was racing with anxiety as you stared at your phone screen. A part of you was glad you had gotten it over with, but another part of you was even more embarrassed than you had been before.

He probably thought you were some sort of crazy robot!

You started to put your phone back down on your bedside table, but then a thought suddenly popped into your head.

...How had he gotten your number?!

Without thinking twice about it, you pulled your phone back up and navigated to your recent calls, pressing on the one at the top from just a few minutes ago.

Jinhwan picked up after the first ring and said, “Can I please --”

“How did you get my number?” you asked a bit more forcefully than you’d intended.

There was a brief pause before he answered you. “Your friend called the bar last night and gave it to me.”

Emma. Of course.

“Can you please delete it?” you requested.

“No, wait,” he replied, way more quickly than he had answered your previous question. “Can you please just listen to me?”

“Why? So you can explain why you physically pushed me away from you when I tried to kiss you? Do you know how embarrassing that is?!

“I’m sorry,” he said with a slight whine to his voice. “I’m really sorry. It just happened so quickly, and I wasn’t expecting it -- especially from you, and --”

“Especially from me?” you interrupted with a chuckle of disbelief.

“Yes, especially from you. Especially from a person who has shown no romantic interest in me for two years until last night.”

You were about to retort that it wasn’t true, but you realized he’d said shown no interest. Not had no interest. And, in that regard, he was correct.

“Well, I wasn’t about to flirt with you while I was working,” you said instead.

“But you could’ve come into the bar,” he pointed out. “If you really wanted to go out with me, you could’ve come into the bar a lot earlier and told me.”

He was right, of course. Again.

You hated not being right.

“Well, I didn’t. And there’s nothing I can do about it now just like there’s nothing I can about the fact that I kissed you and I wasn’t drunk and you didn’t want it.”

“Oh, I want it,” he chuckled. “Trust me. I want it. Just... not really... like that.”

Somehow, that didn’t do anything to relieve your embarrassment.

“I’m sorry,” you stated. “I just -- I just wanted to kiss you, so I did. I don’t know why because I’ve literally never done that ever in my whole --”

“You’ve never done that before?”

“No! Of course, not! I don’t go around kissing people I barely know! I never have, and I certainly never will!”

Jinhwan chuckled again, and you could so very obviously hear the smirk on his lips right now.

“Well, then, I’m sorry for not being more gracious. I didn’t realize how lucky I was.”

“Oh, be quiet,” you sighed.

“Can I still take you out?” he asked.

Your brow furrowed instantly. “...You still want to go out with me?”

“I absolutely do. Please, let me take you out, and you can kiss me as much as you want.”

A tiny smile played at your lips, and you shook your head to yourself. There was very little chance of that happening. Your pride was still too wounded to even think about kissing him again anytime soon.

Honestly, your pride might even be too wounded to go on a date with him.

“I -- I don’t know,” you murmured. “Maybe it isn’t such a good idea after all. I mean, I --”

“It’s an excellent idea, and I’m going to take you out. You said ‘yes’ last night, and you were not drunk, so it’s binding. You can’t take it back.”

“Jinhwan --”

“Y/N, no arguments,” he grinned. “Are you free tomorrow?”

...Unfortunately, you were, and you felt too guilty to lie about it.

“Yes, I am free tomorrow.”

“If I send you a location, will you meet me there?”

“It depends on what the location is.”

“You’ll like it, I promise,” he assured you. “And it’ll be very clean. Full marks on the last health inspection.”

“Wow,” you chuckled. “You really know how to woo a girl, don’t you?”

“I think I know how to woo you, at least.”

...Sadly, he wasn’t lying. It was pretty important that any place you visited passed their health inspections with flying colors. You knew what it meant to get points taken off, and trust me -- once you know, you can never unknow.

“All right,” you relented. “Send me a location, and I’ll be there.”

And now you agreed with Jinhwan. You’d given your word, and there was no taking it back now.

You were going on a date with Jinhwan.

Part 4

[matchasprouts]

Ashes - Chapter 2

[ hiiiii besties <3 gonna start gay Mark fic next ]

First || Next || Previous || Last

Brahms woke up to something crashing outside of his room and, when he sat up, he saw the doll sitting directly next to his bed. Brahms flinched at the sight, before jumping up and running outside to see what fell.

It was a vase, laying shattered on the floor. Next to where it once sat was a list of rules pinned to the wall. It took him a second, but Brahms realized that either the doll had done this, or he wasn’t alone in the house.

He wasn’t going to investigate now. Clearly whatever had done this wanted him to follow the rules, and he sure as hell wasn’t going to get himself hurt by ignoring it.

So, he pulled the paper off the wall and returned to his room to get dressed. He read over it as he got dressed into his day clothes, a little confused by some of them (“Always put leftovers in the freezer”, “Only Malcolm brings deliveries”) but completely understanding others as child things (“Never leave Bella alone”, “Kiss goodnight”).

When he was clothed, he picked up the doll and took her back to her room to get her dressed as well. He was surprised by the lack of dresses in her closet, having assumed that people like her fathers would follow more… strict gender roles. Apparently not though, as her wardrobe was full of button up shirts and dress pants.

He didn’t question it though, simply picking an outfit for her and putting it on here. First chore of the day done- now it was time to really get to work.

The doll came downstairs with him, resting comfortable on his hip. He set her down any time he needed to do something, but never left her “sight” and made sure to stay within the room.

One of the rules was that music needed to be played loudly, and that all of Bella’s lessons needed to be spoken just as loud. He vaguely wondered why that was, especially because it was loud enough to hurt his ears, but he wasn’t about to deny the rules.

He also wondered why he was giving lessons to a fucking doll, but he guessed they just wanted it to feel as human as possible.

Eventually, Greta came into the house, covered in dirt. He wasn’t expecting to see her when he walked into the kitchen to make lunch, and flinched at the sight of her. He knew damn well that she was holding back a snicker, but it slipped out of her anyway.

“Sorry, sorry,” she apologized quickly, sidestepping to allow Brahms access to the counters. “It’s just time for my break. How’s it going so far? Has the thing in the walls made itself known yet?”

“Wait, what?” Brahms quickly cut in, having no knowledge of a “thing in the wall”. Then he remembered the broken vase from that morning. “Oh my god, there’s something in the fucking walls. It broke a vase this morning.”

Greta let out a sharp laugh at that. “Yeah, it’s stealing your stuff too. It does that to everyone, you’ll probably get it back. Just be careful, it’s very attached to the rules and gets angry when they aren’t followed- more so than Bella does.”

So there was a thing in the walls AND Bella was haunted? What kind of hell building was this house?

“Great, that’s great,” he muttered to himself, moving on to start making lunch before Bella got rowdy. “Is that why I can’t leave her alone?”

Greta seemed confused by that, tilting her head to the side. “No? You can’t leave Bella alone because the thing will move her around and break shit.”

Ah. What?

Did that mean the two were attached? Who the fuck was the thing in the walls?

He decided not to think too much about it, instead turning his focus to the task at hand.

Soon enough, he was setting a plate down in front of Bella, a little uncomfortable with giving a haunted doll a whole plate of food. Then he sat down with his own food, surprised when Greta joined them at the table. He’d made a plate for her with the intent of being eaten, but he wasn’t expecting her to sit down with them.

“You have to tell me more about this… wall thing,” he told her, almost laughing at the deer in headlights look on her face at that, clearly having expected the conversation about it to be over.

“Well, it’s been here since before I got the job six years ago,” Greta started, taking a bite of her food before continuing, “and the Shaws know it’s there. They actually talk to it pretty often, so I guess it’s been here since they moved it. I have no idea if it’s human or not, but it acts like it.”

The idea that it wasn’t human was actually more comforting than the idea that it was, because if it was human he’d have to wonder how it got into the walls. Unless the Shaws let them in, but that seemed incredibly unlikely.

So he settled for believing it wasn’t human. “It watches the doll right?” Brahms asked, gaining a nod of confirmation from Greta. “Why? It has no reason to be attached to her.”

“That’s not entirely true,” Greta replied. “It interacts with the people in the house through her, usually by moving her or literally speaking through her. It has this weird… little girl voice it uses. It’s really creepy, and I guarantee you’ll hear it at some point.”

Well, that wasn’t comforting. “That’s fucking horrifying,” Brahms admitted, “but I’m going to assume it’s within my best interests to be nice to it.”

Greta let out a sharp laugh before getting up and cleaning up, heading back outside when she was done. Brahms took that as his cue to get on with the chores.

---

He didn’t see Greta again for the rest of the day, assuming she’d gone down to the cabin she lived in for dinner, which left Brahms alone to eat in front of the motionless doll.

Now that it was quiet, he could hear the thing in the walls. He could practically feel it watching him from whatever peephole it could find, seemingly just as curious about him as he was about it.

He wanted to talk to it, so he turned to the wall where it had most recently stopped, but as soon as he came close to meeting its gaze, he could hear it take off. He let out a soft sigh, turning back to his food.

Maybe it was just shy, and not planning how to murder him in his sleep.

He might be overreacting with that second idea- Greta had been living here for six years now and she’d never been attacked by it, so why would it suddenly attack him?

…. Maybe if he broke the rules it would.

He didn’t want to think about it, so he simply started cleaning up, placing the leftovers in the freezer.

It was Bella’s bedtime now, so he took her upstairs. He could hear the thing follow him, and come to a stop in the child’s bedroom, probably to make sure he followed the rules to a T.

He undressed the doll, replacing her day clothes with pajamas, before laying her on the bed and tucking her in. He glanced at the wall before leaning down and pressing a kiss to the doll’s forehead, for the “goodnight kiss”.

When nothing terrible and death related happened, he turned off the light, left the room, and closed the door, going into his own room to get ready for the night as well.

Luckily for him, he fell asleep quickly, and didn’t hear the thing follow him into his room. He didn’t hear it leave the closet either, soon standing over him, its head slightly tilted to the side. It brushed a shaky hand over his hair, letting out a soft sigh at the softness.

It was glad it chose him. He was pretty, and kind, and followed the rules. It slowly leaned down and pressed a porcelain kiss to his forehead, just like he’d done to the doll, before retreating back into the walls.

[thecreedsgambit]

Two of Hearts | Ethan x MC (Jane)

Chapter 2: Mediation 

Summary: A fluff piece because, Heaven knows, Jane needs it.

Author’s Note: Honestly, I debated including this as its own chapter, but I loved this idea too much not to share it with you all. I wanted to divvy up the romance in this series with a little bit of fluff (mainly because I wanted to include Sienna and Aurora in this series because why not). I’m posting a chapter three tonight, as well. I also wrote Ethan fluff, and I need to share it ASAP too. Enjoy both!

Song Inspiration: Meant to Be by Bebe Rexha x Florida Georgia Line

Tags: @mvalentine @ethanramseysgirl @openheart12 @junggoku @tefigranger @noboundariesplease @colossalpainintheass @lifeof-liv @ethxnrxmsey @kaavyaethanramsey @paulfwesley @ethandaddyramsey @adrex04

Disclaimer: Characters belong to Pixelberry.

Chapter 1: The Other Woman

The sun’s rays snuck through Jane’s ivory, french curtains, casting a warm glow onto her face. It only took moments for her eyes to flutter open, and, seconds later, her phone rang. She hadn’t even noticed she fell asleep; it took her a long time to clear her head last night. She had told herself that it was going to be a long night, but she was glad her exhaustion proved her wrong.

She rolled onto her back and didn’t make any attempt to reach for her phone. She knew who it was; he had tried calling her sometime last night, too.

Ethan.

A part of her wanted to answer, of course, but she wasn’t sure how willing she was to talk to him. She had hoped he would show up at her door last night, but he didn’t. She should have been eager to answer his call; to hear his voice; to hear whatever he had to say. No matter how eager she might have felt deep down, though, she just couldn’t reach for her phone.

“Jane.” A voice came from the other side of her bedroom door followed by a soft knock. The door opened slowly before Sienna’s head popped in. When she saw that Jane was awake, she stepped into her room. “Good morning, sleepy-head.”

Jane managed a smile. “Good morning.”

Sienna bit her cheek before offering her a sheepish smile, hope practically shimmering in her eyes. “Aurora came home this morning … and we’re making breakfast. Do you want to come help with the pancakes?”

Jane’s eyes darted away momentarily, nervously toying with her fingers. She suddenly remembered her fight with Aurora at the softball game - how angry she had gotten after Dr. Tobias Carrick revealed to her exactly how he’d found out about Edenbrook’s intention to study their coma patient. Admittedly, she did feel slightly embarrassed that she let her temper get the best of her.

Jane cared strongly for Edenbrook, for helping herself and her friends keep their jobs. But she also cared for Aurora, and, quite frankly, she was tired of arguing with the people she cared about.

Her attention returned to Sienna as she sat up with a nod. “Sure, I’ll be out there in a minute.”

Sienna grinned, bouncing excitedly, as she hurried out of her room and closed the door behind her.

Jane took a moment before getting up, her eyes wandering toward her phone that rested on her pillow. She stayed like that until she heard soft laughter emanate from the kitchen. Taking a deep breath, she rolled out of bed and pulled on a pair of stray black shorts she found near her closet.

As she exited her room and walked toward the kitchen, throwing her hair into a ponytail, she attempted to brace herself for seeing Aurora again. When she rounded the corner, she locked eyes with Aurora and instantly knew she hadn’t been the only one bracing for what was to come next.

“Hey,” Jane said softly.

Aurora eyed her nervously. “... hey.”

Sienna’s smile died on her lips as she turned to see Jane standing at the edge of the counter, hesitating to step forward. She quickly slid a glass bowl toward her with a quirked eyebrow. “You’re on pancake duty, Jane.”

Jane’s eyes momentarily flickered down to the bowl. “Are we making pancakes from scratch?”

Sienna looked offended, eyes widening. “Of course.”

Jane walked closer, grabbing the bowl and proceeding to add ingredients as Sienna directed. They all moved around the kitchen; the tense air quickly waned as Sienna made the effort to strike up a conversation about a few patients she’d met in the clinic.

As Sienna turned to start a pot of coffee, Jane let her eyes glance over at Aurora, who was casting her eyes down at a small bowl in front of her. Sienna asked her to make the blueberry sauce for their pancakes, and Aurora looked as if she would rather be on coffee duty.

Jane’s lips curled slightly. “Have you added the lemon juice yet?”

Aurora’s face gave way to a moment of shock before she furrowed her eyebrows, giving the blueberries an annoyed stir. “I’m horrible at this,” she grumbled.

Jane couldn’t help a snort that escaped her lips, and Aurora’s eyes cut towards her in shared amusement. A moment passed before Aurora sat her spoon down and looked at her.

“Are you still mad at me?” She asked Jane. “I guess I would understand. I thought about what you said, and I really should have known.” Her shoulders seemed to slump. “I just wanted to show Tobias the good we could do, too. I’m tired of the back and forth competition, you know?”

“I’m not mad at you,” Jane said shortly, without missing a beat.

Aurora reeled from surprise. “Wait - you’re not?”

Jane shook her head in response. “I was angry at the game, sure. Tobias stole the one real chance I thought I had at saving Edenbrook - at saving our jobs.” Jane paused, looking into Aurora’s wide brown eyes. “I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions, though. You are my friend, Aurora, even if you chose to wear Mass Kenmore on your coat.”

Even though she tried to hide it by looking down, Jane could tell Aurora was fighting back a grin.

“Besides,” Jane started, smirking, “we did beat you at softball.”

Aurora scoffed, though nothing but good-natured humor glistened in her eyes. “You got lucky.”

“Yeah? Well, we’ll see next year,” Jane teased.

They shared a smile before her eyes were drawn toward the sound of her pager, ringing from her jacket that was strewn across the couch.

Aurora sighed, allowing an apologetic smile to creep onto her lips, “I’m sorry, guys.”

Sienna walked over to her, taking the spoon and the bowl of half-made blueberry sauce. “Don’t worry about it. Duty calls.”

Aurora threw one last look at Jane, a shy smile playing on her lips, before jogging out of the kitchen.

Jane looked at Sienna with a smile. “I’m sure Jackie and Elijah will be here soon. Where’d they go, anyway?”

“I think they both went to the hospital.”

“Of course they did,” Jane replied. She cracked an egg before noting, “We haven’t spent time alone together in awhile.”

They were the only two in the kitchen now. With the smell of coffee in the air and the warmth of the sun on her back, Jane felt content just for a moment. Just for a moment, she didn’t think of Ethan, or of the clinic, or of Edenbrook. Just for a moment, she was happy, mixing her pancake batter and watching Sienna remove bacon from the fridge.

“I suppose we haven’t,” Sienna replied.

The two finished making breakfast with light and hearty conversation, eventually carrying their plates and cups of coffee to the table. They sat across from each other; Jane digging in nearly immediately to sate her growling stomach.

Sienna reached for the blueberry sauce, giving Jane a cautious look. “So, how are you after …?”

Jane didn’t respond for a moment. “How about we start with you?” She threw Sienna a suggestive smirk. “How’re you and Danny?”

“You’re deflecting.” Sienna laughed, drizzling the blueberries over her pancakes.

“Oh, good. It’s working, then?”

Sienna rolled her eyes, but she couldn’t wipe her smile from her face. “Danny and I are good,” she began. Though, her smile quickly gave way to a frown. “I haven’t been able to talk to him much, though.”

“Why?”

“I’ve just been really caught up … with work,” Sienna admitted. She busied herself with her food, ignoring Jane’s gaze, “It’s been hard to do much of anything these days.”

Jane nodded in agreement. “But … does this have anything to do with Mitch?” When she didn’t get a response, Jane warned, “Sienna.”

Sighing, Sienna finally confessed, “Okay. Maybe Mitch isn’t necessarily helping.”

“Is he still making you do his work for him?”

“No,” Sienna countered. Jane gave her a look, and she sighed once more. “It’s just, he keeps asking me to handle patients for him, especially if it’s a harder case.”

Jane frowned. “Sienna, you can’t keep doing things for him.”

“I know,” she replied. She looked as if she wanted to talk about literally anything else, so she asked, “How are things with Esme?”

At the sound of her intern's name, Jane looked down. After a moment’s hesitation, she answered. “Sometimes I feel like I should be there more. It’s just - between the clinic and the team, I feel like I’m not being there for her.”

Jane didn’t have to say it, but Sienna knew what she was thinking. Maybe Victoria was right.

Sienna frowned. “Jane, I know you’re a good teacher. I saw you the other day - talking to Esme in the cafeteria. You are there for her.” Jane tried to believe her, but she still felt the weight of guilt on her shoulders. Sienna must have noticed because her gaze turned serious. “Don’t let Dr. Robbins make you question yourself, Jane. Don’t let her make you question anything.”

When Jane returned her gaze, she knew Sienna was talking about something else entirely. She was talking about Ethan.

“What happened anyway?” Sienna asked.

Jane exhaled deeply before deciding it best to let it out. So, she did. She told Sienna exactly what happened between her and Ethan in the hallway the day before. Jane had gone over the argument in her head for a good portion of the night, so it was fairly fresh in her mind. It didn’t, however, stop the wave of pain she felt when she finished,

“Wow,” Sienna commented. Jane nodded, poking at her pancakes in silence. “Has he tried to call you?”

“Yeah.”

“And you don’t answer?”

“No.”

“Why not?” Sienna studied her for a moment. “Do you miss him?”

Jane thought of him for longer than she dared to since their conversation in the hallway. For a moment, her guarded expressions and practiced smiles gave way to her true emotions. She thought of his eyes, his hair, and his scent. Him. Ethan. If she were being honest, everything about him was almost too intoxicating; yet, she loved him anyway.

“I do,” she finally admitted. “I just don’t know what to say. I know I’ll see him at hospital tomorrow, and I know I should answer. It’s just … how do you not have that kind of conversation face-to-face?”

“You don’t,” Sienna answered easily. Jane didn’t try to hide her disappointment, and Sienna added, “You know, Wayne and I never argued, not like that. We never really talked long enough to argue.” Jane looked at her, and Sienna gave her a meaningful look. “Only two people who really care about each other argue like that.”

Jane furrowed her eyebrows thoughtfully; she hadn’t thought about it in that way. She swallowed hard before looking at Sienna gratefully. “Thank you.”

“I’ll always be here, Jane,” She reassured. “You’re allowed to have time to think about your own feelings. Besides, what is meant to happen, will happen.”

Jane looked at her for a moment before a teasing smile crept onto her face. “When did you get so good at talking about relationships?”

“I’m always good at talking about everything,” Sienna countered.

A laugh escaped both of their lips as they returned to their breakfast, exchanging teasing remarks and light jokes until Jackie and Elijah came through the front door.

~

“Are you sure you don’t want to come with us?” Sienna asked.

Jane stood a few feet from their front door, watching as her roommates hesitated in the threshold. “I’m positive. You guys go. Have fun before it gets too late.”

Despite their protests, Jane eventually shooed them out of their apartment and on their way to Donahue’s. She told them, and herself, she wasn’t going because she wanted to study up for the team’s newest patient, but, admittedly, she wanted to be on the other side of the door in case Ethan ever decided to knock on it.

She padded over to the couch and flopped down, turning on a movie as the sudden patter of rain began to sound outside. Ethan had called again, only thirty minutes before. Her eyes peered down at his name, and her thumb hovered over, and darted away from, his contact several times.

Her desire to return his call slowly began burning in the pit of her stomach as she thought of the sound of his voice. Thunder rumbled overhead, and the rain intensified. For a moment, her eyes flickered toward the windows as a streak of lightning pierced the sky and drenched the living room in a brief, but bright, shade of blue.

The sound of the harsh rain lulled her desire, and she slowly reached forward to place her phone on the table in front of her. She almost settled in to watch her movie when a knock sounded, sending her heart plummeting into her stomach. Frozen, she sat there until another knock sounded - more insistent this time.

Before she lost her nerve, she stood and hurried over to the door. But, when she opened it, her face fell.

“Farley,” she said.

He raised an eyebrow. “Were you expecting someone else?”

Swallowing hard, she crossed her arms and looked up at her landlord. “What is it now? Did another check bounce?”

“No.” He mirrored her, crossing his own arms. “Mrs. Edelstein complained again about too much … activity going on in your apartment late at night.”

Jane’s eyebrows furrowed in disbelief, and she scoffed. “She does realize that there are five interns that live here, right?”

Farley rolled his eyes. “Look, I don’t know. Just … try to keep it down. I don’t need Mrs. Edelstein calling my phone again.”

He didn’t bother to wait for her reply. Instead, he sulked off down the hallway, and Jane huffed before closing the door. She hadn’t yet stepped any more than two steps away before another knock sounded. Out of annoyance, she turned to fling the door open. But, every inch of her froze and her lips parted slightly as she looked up at the man in front of her.

“Ethan?” She breathed. “What are you doing here?”

He stood there – hair dripping wet and clinging to his forehead – with a look on his face that resembled a painful mix of longing and sorrow. Jane stared up at him as if he were a dream, like Sienna would pinch her awake at any moment.

But this wasn’t a dream, and Ethan was really here. He was here, standing with a green, rain-slicked jacket and fresh rain drops slipping down the sides of his face. The subtle shiver that raked his body was enough to make her snap out of her trance and quickly step aside, opening the door a bit wider.

He huddled inside, running a hand through his wet hair in an attempt to slick it back and out of his face. Jane slowly shut the door as if too much noise might ruin the moment – as if making any sudden movements might wreck the delicate tension between the two of them. 

So, she closed the door, as quietly as she could, and waited a beat to turn around. She knew that facing him right now, in this moment, would be enough to make every word die on her lips.

And she was right.

The moment she turned around, her eyes met his, and every angry thought, hurt feeling, and painful disbelief made her choke on any word that dared escape her lips.

[mymindwide]

It won’t be long we’ll meet again

Pairing: Ashton x Female reader

Word count: 6775

Warning: angst, feelings, smut

Author’s note: This is the chapter 2 (and closure) to ‘The end of heartache’. I hope you’ll love this too, and would just like to thank the support to those who were kind enough to write any kind of feedback on Chapter 1. :) I hope this won’t disappoint either. Take care and enjoy your read.

*****

You miss him. As plain as that sounds, sometimes the simplest words carry the heaviest burdens.

Six months ago you left your apartment with a sleeping Ashton in your bed, after he fucked you in that bed, and you convinced yourself that you don’t care about his motivation after all. You were glad it happened but eventually it just made things more difficult and painful for you.

Because although he’s never been yours, losing him broke your heart. That night you’ve spent together was… good. Obviously way more than just good. But why did he decide to come after you? He’s been in a seemingly happy relationship, then why? No doubt, he probably just felt pity for you after your confession. He always had a good and caring heart, you wouldn’t wonder if this was the case. Well, it really doesn’t matter now, does it? You took that risk; you knew what you were about to do, and as far as you remember your first thought was that you shouldn’t… yet you did nothing to stop him or rather you doing it. Now you were ready to pay the price for your decision, and you’re doing exactly this, painful or not.

Six months have passed since you left but you haven’t talked to any of them since. Well, not in live. Your communication went through emails, tweets and DMs on twitter, but those were very rare, you tried to keep it that way. After you had arrived and settled in your new living space you sent them an email with your address and the company’s name you were working at, at that time.

One day a delivery guy has left a small package for you at the reception of the building you were living in. The tiny velvet box hid a pretty white gold necklace with an angel wing medal; the gift card attached to it wished you all the best and let you know about a certain protection sentiment behind it, and was signed as C.A.L.M under that with the real signatures of Cal, Ash, Lu and Mike. An immediate smile crept on your face, because knowing the guys too well, this was either Cal’s or Ashton’s idea, and if you had to place a bet, your vote would be for Ash. No offense to Luke and Mikey, but they are not as thoughtful as the other two, and they are perfectly aware of this. This is again something that doesn’t make the disengagement easier for you, but you happily and proudly wear that beautiful necklace since the moment you have received it.

In the meantime you have changed a job, because two months ago you left that marketing position for a once in a lifetime opportunity – you were hired at iHeartRadio New York City in a program manager assistant position for one of its afternoon show. Everything was so new and fast and challenging, you had so many things to learn and do and still get used to, that you didn’t find the time and way to let the guys know about this new situation.

 * * *

 That day started pretty usual and normal, though at some point you should have started to suspect and prepare for the opposite. Just not long after you put your foot in the skyscraper building, there was a complete power outage; you had to call firefighters to help the trapped people escape from the elevators. You had to call the building maintenance guys to restore the electricity so the ca. 150 companies (including the city’s biggest radio station) can continue to work. You had to call some technicians to try to resettle your servers and computers. They managed to do that, however some of your fax machines have completely died due to the blackout, therefore you were asked to pass over a few important papers to one of your presenters shortly being on air, that he’d need to interview his guests that are already in the building. The entire 15th floor was your radio’s, so you picked up the folder and ran across the long hallway to reach the glass window studio on time. It was an impressive performance with 3 inches heels on your feet. After delivering the “goods” you joked to yourself that you should consider entering the next sprint competition that’s going to be held in the city. If you can do it on heels you’d have a good chance without them as well. You realized you needed to use the bathroom before returning back to your office, therefore you made a quick left turn on the corridor, but you didn’t get to the women’s restroom, because a familiar figure leaned against the wall next to the men’s restroom typing on his cellphone. You went closer, because you didn’t want to believe your eyes; your heart was pounding against your chest heavier than ever before.

 “Mi-Mikey?!” as you called his name he lowered his hands with the phone in them, turned around and as he realized who dared speak to him, his eyes widened and with that drive you wrapped your arms around his neck clinging to him like a startled sparrow.

“Y/N! What are you…, how?” he hugged you back tight.

“I’m working here” you responded as you let him go and took a step back so you can check him out.

“But we thought you’re at that marketing company.”

“I know and I was, this opportunity came 2 months ago” you started to gaze your feet as you felt your conscience remind you of all the missed chances to let your friends know about this new job. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier” you looked up at him with literal shame in your eyes.

“We kinda got used to it by now…” he smiled at you.

“I…I’m…”

“Just kidding, it’s so good to see you!” a grin appears on his face and that slightly reassures your nerves and remorse too.

“The others?”

“I guard the door while they are inside using whatever toilet they have to” he rolled his eyes. “I swear to you they’re still a bunch of babies, I told them to use the bathroom in the hotel, but nah, we’re good. You can see how good they are…” he points at the door of the men’s restroom making you laugh with his comment.

“What’s up Mike, now you’re talking to yourse…” – the door opened and as Luke came out first he couldn’t even finish the sentence coz after Mikey you appeared in his field of view and you got the same reaction as from Mikey.

“Y/N?!”

“Me” and you took a step towards him too to wrap your hands around his neck.

“What are you doing here?” he stroked your back quickly.

“I’ll tell you everything, just wait for the other two now so I don’t have to repeat myself four times”

“I’ll tell your girlfriends that you two beguile the lady assistants at every radio station we put our feet into…” came another familiar voice from the opening door, and this time you could surprise Calum.

“Man, I think they wouldn’t mind this one…” smiled Luke.

“Cal!!!!!!” you jumped into his neck and he held you tight to himself lifting you up a bit, your feet not touching the ground below you.

“Holy shit, girl, what are…” he started asking the obvious question as he put you down back on your feet.

“I know, what am I doing here, and I swear I’m going to answer just…”

 And this time you were the one who couldn’t finish your sentence coz the door has been opened for the third time and Ashton stepped outside looking confused for a second at the sight of the little group gathering until he found the incongruous member of his band. The others fell silent as if someone has stopped the time and cut you out of this scene. Actually, time has stopped for you too, because you weren’t exactly prepared for this spectacle either, seeing him obviously brought back memories, but even if those memories didn’t exist, he looked so handsome, so good-looking in his set that consisted of a black torn jeans and a black button-up shirt with the first few buttons being unbuttoned leaving a perfect view at his subtly muscular chest, that you felt a little bit lost at that moment.

 “Y/N?”

“Hi Ash…” you bit your bottom lip to feel some kind of pain that holds you back from collapsing inside and burst into tears in front of them. He couldn’t take his eyes off of you, so you took that first step to hug him too, though evidently not with the same vehemence as you did with the other three. Your hands rested on his back and only for a few seconds, his hands mirrored your movements on your back, a few gentle caresses and you let each other go pretty quickly. Quick enough to feel this hug awkward, but you guess that’s what you get when you fuck with someone you consider a friend even though you feel way more for him.

“Hi, sweetheart” he smiled at you and this gesture eased the tension in you enough to get your shit together.

You took a short glance at the other three behind you, and they stared at you two as if they were watching bombs that could explode at any minute. Is it possible that they know something about what has happened between us months ago? Ahh, anyway, I have no time for this now, now that these four stand in front of me, still a total miracle and a quite big shock at the same time. You took a big breath and started telling them very quickly about your job change.

“Who did you come to?” you asked from any of them.

“Greg? Is it Greg?” Lu asked back.

“Ah so it’s you guys who he’s waiting for. Actually I just brought his papers for him, so he can ask questions from you” you grinned.

“I thought it worked a bit more modern these days” Ash smirked.

“It does, smartass, we just had a… bit of a situation in the morning, and all electronics went to shit due to a power outage.”

“And if it wasn’t for that, we wouldn’t have you right here right now” Cal came and gave you a half hug.

“Guys, I missed you so much, you have no idea.”

“Boys, we have one minute left…” Mike warned you and you literally saw the panic in his eyes as he looked around your little branch.

“What is it Mikey?” you asked.

“It’s just… we have to go, and I assume you have to go back to work too, but we’re staying for the night and leave only tomorrow, so I thought we could meet for a dinner somewhere? I mean, only if you want it, too, of course!” he sputtered and was eyeing Cal and Luke, though Ashton got a glance from him too.

“I’d be more than happy to do that with you guys” you shrugged with a smile on your face.

“Since you live here, you can recommend a restaurant maybe?”

“What about Ceci? It’s Italian and it’s only three corners down this avenue.”

“Sounds awesome. When will you finish?”

“At 4.”

“Then 6? Is that good?”

“Then 6, it is.”

“See you at Ceci, baby” Cal hugged you first, and all the others joined him, resulting in you melting in a group hug.

“Good luck and see you soon” you waved them goodbye, and with a huge smile on your face and a long-awaited excitement in your heart you headed back to your office.

 * * *

“Target #1 in the building” Cal made a comment.

“We can see that as well, Captain Obvious” snapped Mikey.

“Dude, calm down, and let me remind you that this whole thing was your idea.”

“I know… thanks again, Captain Obvious.”

“If you won’t stop with the captain thing, I’ll hit you on the head.”

“Would you please shut up for a minute, both of you. I can’t see from the noise you two make” Luke intervenes.

“Anyway, what’s your problem? We’re good so far, aren’t we?” Cal continues.

“But what if Ash sensed something? Weren’t we too obvious with the ‘buying gifts for the girls’ thing?”

“Don’t think so man, last time I checked we do have girlfriends…” Luke tried to reassure Mike.

“But Cal doesn’t.”

“And? I focus on myself right now!” snapped back Cal resentfully.

“Dude, that’s not the point! Good for you. I just want this to work.”

“He’s gonna be here.”

“Young amigos, if we don’t go anywhere I have to ask you to get out of the car” says the driver of the taxi they sat in. “You know I have a big family, have to give them food.”

“Luke, give me 40 bucks.”

“Why me?”

“Coz your net worth is the highest, and I’m just a poor guitarist from Sydney” scoffs Mikey.

“If this is gonna work, Ash owes me…” mumbles Luke as he slaps the money in Mike’s hand at the passenger’s seat.

“Are you sure you don’t have Scottish or Jewish ancestors…?” Mike side eyed Luke. “If this is gonna work, I’ll personally give this back to you, you mean bastard.”

“Oh shut up, Clifford.”

“Does this cover an hour route?” Mike holds out the money to the driver.

“Si senor, it’ll do.”

“Guys! Guys, target #2 is approaching the building…” Cal’s voice warned the quarreling couple, and all four men in the taxi looked in the direction of the restaurant on the other side of the road.

 * * *

 You completely lost your sense of time after you went home from the studio. To your biggest luck you have found a flat incredibly close to your workplace, actually it’s halfway through  between the studio and the restaurant, so you had time to try out at least 20 clothing combinations for the dinner. Based on how the day had started you would not have dared dream that it would end like this. You came here with the thought you’ll never see them again, and here you are, you’ll have a date with four of your best friends, and that makes you beyond excited. The long and short of it is that you ended up 15 minutes earlier at the restaurant, wearing your favorite black torn jeans with a simple V-neck white t-shirt and matching black high heels.

You were checking your phone every minute preparing yourself for them to write you in the last possible second that they’re sorry but won’t be able to make it, but no message has arrived, so you started becoming very excited by every passing minute. You were about to put your phone on the table when you looked up from it and glimpsed Ashton walking towards the table you were sitting at, the table that was booked by Mr. Clifford for 5. You rose from your seat to greet him and grabbed the opportunity to check him out very quickly and hopefully not too strikingly.

“You look wonderful” he hugged you with one hand “…and I like the jeans” he added grinning at you as his eyes lowered to the knee part of your jeans where it’s been torn.

“Well, I have to admit, there’s a slight Irwin impact on my fashion sense regarding jeans.”

“I’ll have a greater legacy than Versace” he joked.

“Ahh as to Versace, have you watched the second…”

“I have and I had no one I could talk about it with” he said semi-sadly, semi-excitedly not even waiting for you to finish the sentence.

“I know, me neither. I missed our regular series talk shows” you smiled at him.

“Anyway, it was definitely shockingly brilliant.”

 He hardly finished the sentence; the receptionist came towards you and stopped next to your table. You looked up at her simultaneously.

 “Sorry for interrupting you, I would like to apologize for the inconvenience, but Mr. Clifford just phoned us and let us know, that the remaining 3 person won’t be joining you, therefore I’d like to escort you to a quieter, more private table for two, if you don’t mind” she has flashed her nicest smile at you two.

 Both Ashton and you looked at your phones at the same time looking for some explanation behind this situation but neither of you got any messages from any of the guys and looked up from your phones as confused as the other.

 “We haven’t ordered yet, so it’s fine for me…” he told the receptionist but he looked at you all the way waiting for an approval.

“Yeah, it’s okay, of course” you blinked still confused.

“Thank you very much. As a compensation for the inconvenience, tonight’s drinks are on the restaurant.”

 You stood up and followed the lady in front of you, while looking at each other conspiratorially, because you knew something that the management of the restaurant did not - namely neither Ash nor you drank any alcohol, so the worst that can happen is the mineral water stock will be less with a few bottles.

As soon as you put your bottoms down on your seats, a waitress came to take your order, and to your waters you ordered a Caesar salad and Ash stayed with a steak though he chose salad as garnish too.

“Never thought you were the salad type” Ash noted.

“Believe me, I am still not, but you should have seen the food I was poisoning myself with since being here. My body really can use a lighter meal now. I’m literally craving it.”

“Can’t blame you. I guess everyone’s first thing to do when arriving in New York is to try all the food we see on Man vs. Food.”

“Yeah, that’s how I got to know the city, basically” you laughed. “Uhm, as to those three bastards you call your bandmates and I called friends… I assume you didn’t know about this” you cocked an eyebrow at him.

“No, I didn’t. They told me they’re going gift shopping, and that they’ll join us in time.” “Obviously they won’t now” the right corner of your mouth pulled in a sarcastic smile.

“If you don’t feel like it, we don’t have to do this…”

“Ash, no, it’s not why I…” your hand has swung quicker than you thought and by the time you realized, it already rested on Ash’s forearm, trying to keep him from standing up from the table. As soon as you saw why he’s looking at his arm you jerked your hand back.

“Hey, I didn’t plan to go anywhere“ he smiled at you seeing you blushing as he really just adjusted his chair.

“Sorry…” you whispered feeling ashamed, not exactly knowing why though.

“No, it’s okay… Actually, I’d like to talk to you about something.”

 You swallowed as if you had known what’s coming.

 “Can we talk about us?”

“Us?”

“Yes, us and that particular night. Should I remind you of…”

“No. It’s not something that just disappears. Not after how we said goodbye” you tucked your lips between your teeth as an automatic reflex because you felt your pulse getting higher, and your anxiety creeping up.

“I wouldn’t exactly call it a goodbye…”

“But it was.”

“Why didn’t you wake me up when you left? We could have talked.”

“You know, I thought about it a lot since then. Even felt certain guilt. But that day was emotional enough for me, besides my life here was already pretty much prepared. At that moment it felt right.”

“And now?”

“Ash… Why did you come to me that night in the first place?” you started losing your patience as you felt him calling you to account. You wanted to show him he’s not the only one with questions.

“What do you think?”

“For months I was convinced it was out of pity from your side.”

“Out of pity… But did that really feel like it though?”

“I don’t know, Ash. Again, that day was hard enough and you didn’t make the things easier either.”

“Did you know you left a mark on me? Nail scratches on both my shoulder blades” he smiled. “A few days later I became single.”

“I didn’t want to get you in trouble” you told him with honesty and worry in your voice. You really had no idea that they are no longer together.

“It has nothing to do with it; I just thought I’ll let you know, since it made me smile when I noticed it at home. And as far as I remember it was me who knocked on your door…”

“But I could have told you to leave…” you quickly closed your eyes as instant memory moments rushed through your mind about the exact scene you were talking about. How he kissed you and picked you up in his lap, and how much you didn’t exactly protest against it, but kissed him back and wrapped your legs around his waist instead… About how your body reacted to his in a millisecond.

“Did you regret what we’ve done back then?”

“No” you said after a few seconds of silence. “But it just made things more difficult for me.”

“As of?”

“Leaving behind what I wanted to leave behind. Forgetting you” you felt a sudden sadness as you uttered these words aloud.

 You didn’t even notice how easily you eased into your conversation and that the anxiety you felt at the beginning just disappeared most likely thanks to the calmness that flowed out of Ashton, the soothing tone of his voice, the way he spoke to you.

You loved how honestly and openly you could talk about this, when it could have turned out enormously awkward as well.

 “And you? Did you regret that you came to my apartment that night?” you rested your elbow on the table while supported your head with your palm.

“No. It made me realize a few things.”

“As of?” you smiled.

“You know I don’t believe in too many things, but what I believe in is that there are no coincidences. Us meeting here, totally accidentally, has to have a greater purpose. And I’d like to tell you something and I’d like you to listen to me. I want you to know that I liked you all along. From the beginning. I always thought we had a special connection and we understood each other quite well. But I was stupid and thought we’re friends, and it’s not gonna lead anywhere, you know, you don’t shit in your own backyard… And this is what I regretted. That simply out of fear I didn’t even try to give it a chance, and when you confessed six months ago it kinda slapped me in the face. The only thing I could tell you was that I was sorry. That’s what I felt sorry about. Not you. My own self and my missed opportunity. That I was satisfied with less when I could have something more valuable too. You helped me open my eyes and as it hit me, I wanted to see you. That’s why I visited you that night.”

 As he said all these things to you, your heart just wished to leave your body. Never in your wildest dreams could you imagine that he, in any way, could feel the same like you, and now here you are.

The whirlwind came and you looked down at the table, lips trembling and the first stream of tears rolled down your face. He reached for your hand, gently grabbed it with his and you squeezed it letting all the remaining tension and anxiety go, as his thumb brushed your skin.

 “So now you know. Pity never was on the table.”

 Wiping those few stray tear drops you smiled at him as you still hold hands.

 “This whole situation is because of me, coz I fucked that up, and for this I am sorry too.”

“Ash… it doesn’t matter now. I’m glad you’re here, I’m glad we’re here. And I’d just like to hug you now, so bad” a liberated shred of laughter escaped your lips.

“I can promise you we’ll get round to it” he flashed a smile at you squeezing your hand once more before he let it go, as your ordered meals had arrived.

 * * *

 While eating you could continue with much lighter topics; he let you into their plans and ongoing work with their new material and all the shenanigans you missed while being in the other side of the states, and you told him about the musical legends and celebs you had the pleasure to meet thanks to your last two months at the radio.  It was around 8pm when you left Ceci, and tried to find a secluded place on the sidewalk where you aren’t in the way of others and they aren’t in yours.

 “Can I collect my hug now?” you smiled at him and just hoped you don’t sound too desperate, though you were not sure whether he would care at all if you did.

 You certainly did not care. Your heart got lighter, your eyes shined brighter after your dinner, and just feeling him this close, like never before, filled you with such happiness you never thought you’ll feel again. He pulled you closer and you went upon your tiptoes to wrap your hands around his neck while his arms slithered around your waist wreathing you into a tight hug. Your senses were looking for the familiar feelings - his citrus scent filled up your nose, your arms rested safely on his wide shoulders providing you the sense of security that you felt only with him.

You very slowly let go of him and stood back on your feet, as your eyes kept holding onto each other’s.

His fingertips ghosted along your arms going down to reach their destination in your palms.

 “Can I kiss you?” his eyes hiding a slight insecurity were searching yours.

“Are you really asking for permission when…” you smiled.

“I am, because this is our first date” he wasn’t waiting for you to finish.

“Then please, kiss me” you whispered still smiling.

 His hands let go of yours and found their new place on your waist pulling you closer and on the side of your neck angling your face slightly upwards so he can attach his lips on yours while your hands slid up to rest on his chest.

This kiss was different from what you shared the last time, of course no wonder, since that night wasn’t exactly about the most extensive and deepest exploration of the other. You simply didn’t have time for that, and weren’t in that particular headspace.

This kiss was feathery, gentle and exploratory – the kind that makes you lose your mind.

You felt yourself in a dream and as the seconds went by, you sensibly became needier; his fingertips pressed harder on your waist while your hands grasped his shirt on his stomach. A sense rushed through your veins, a recognition, that made you feel almost ashamed and shy for wanting to be with him again.

 A loud honk reminded you that you’re in the middle of the street, so you slowly let each other go, and still feeling the ghost of his lips on yours you leaned your forehead against his collarbone slightly shaking your head as you let out a heavier sigh.

 “Damn…”

“What?” his tone gave away that he’s smiling.

“I feel like I should be ashamed of the thoughts that are filling my mind right now.”

“If they are anything similar to mine, then yeah, you should…”

 His remark made you chuckle into his chest. You lifted your eyes on him and you felt exactly the same way as you did six months ago that night when you stood in the hall of your apartment staring at each other, trying to read from the other’s eyes and face. And again, just like back then, there was no question to which the answers couldn’t have been found in your eyes.

 “Come…” you intertwined your fingers and took a few steps backwards never breaking the eye contact.

“Where are we…” he asked as you started heading down the road.

“My flat is two minutes away.”

 * * *

 “Wake up you two! They are out!” Cal shouted, and the other three gentlemen in the car hoisted in their seats. “Not you, Pedro, you can sleep back.”

“This is my car, I wanna watch!” the driver stared out his window sticking to the windowpane, and Cal just shrugged.

“Awww, they are hugging”

“Thanks for the live broadcast, mate, but I’d rather check it myself” Luke just tried to push Cal out of the way so he can see something with his own eyes too.

“Oh, that senorita is la belleza; I’d hug her too…” Pedro remarked and his passengers shared a quick glance that made obvious what they think about their plus one – they managed to get stuck with a perv.

“Woah woah woah, oh my god, come on Ash, you get it dude!” shouted Cal as they watched their two targets embrace in a kiss.

“Yesss” Luke cried out joining in the celebration.

“Could you please move over, that’s my friend, I have to see them” Mike tried to push the driver away.

“I wanna see, I wanna see” their ad hoc driver fought back, and as he did, his elbow pressed the honk on the steering wheel.

 All four of them pulled their heads down immediately, searching for cover behind the doors of the vehicle.

 “Man, you can ruin everything” Mikey yelled at the driver grumpily.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to cause trouble” their driver justified himself.

 Carefully and very slowly they all rose from their cover, and saw the targets still standing on the sidewalk, although not kissing.

 “Let’s just hope they’ll find a hotel, if I were them I’d do…” Cal made the comment.

“Dude, you need to get laid soon…” Luke shook his head in response to Cal cocking his eyebrow.

“Just like he will be…?!” Cal indicated out the window, pointing at the pair as they hold hands and the girl takes a few steps backward still facing their bandmate.

“Damn, I’m a genius…” grinned Mikey.

 * * *

 While waiting for the elevator in the building you hardly could let each other catch your breath, being able to kiss him without any heartbreak or shame felt beyond liberating.

 “Waiiiit, shit” he pulled away from you.

“What’s wrong?”

“This time I don’t have any condoms, I wasn’t expecting… the whole press tour or this evening to take such a turn” he whispered.

“This only means… you have to… pull out in time…” you kissed it on his lips. “Can you do that for me?”

“Do you trust me?” he cupped your face looking in your eyes with his very serious ones. After all you were about to play a dangerous game, that can have consequences, so you had to be sure, you take this risk. But you trusted him more than anyone.

“You know I do.”

 After getting back to your flat, between passionate kisses you helped each other get rid of your clothes and shortly you found yourselves naked on the couch, discarded clothes here and there on the floor around you.

Ash sat on the couch; you stood in front of him as he, kissing the skin on your stomach, pushed your last piece of cloth you had on -your panties- down your legs.

Straddling him you were holding onto his shoulders, and you slowly ran down your nails on his chest to his stomach very lightly. He most likely worked out more in the last six months; his abs became more defined than what you were remembering.

He reached up to pull you closer by the back of your neck merging you in a kiss that you were getting so many in the last 20 minutes from, and yet you couldn’t get enough.

You slid your hand lower to take his hardness and as you wrapped your fingers around it he moaned into your mouth just fueling your desire to give him as much pleasure as you can. You quickly started caressing him, smearing his pre-cum on his tip, before you lifted yourself on your knees enough to position his cock over your entrance.

 “Wait, are you rea…”

“Am I ready?” you smiled at him and lead his tip over your wetness a few times. “I couldn’t be readier” you leaned towards him to kiss him again rewarding him for his thoughtfulness, since last time he made sure you were ready for him, now your kisses and touches ensured it.

 You leaned your forehead against his as you lowered yourself on him, and a soft whimper escaped both of you at the same time.

 “Fuck, woman…”

“God, you’re magic…” you gasped.

“We are” he tilted his head back against the headrest of the couch, leaving his throat free for you to lick and kiss.

 After getting used to feeling his size inside you again, with the guidance of his hands on your hips you started to grind your hips, first just slowly, up and down, then slightly increasing the pace you were riding him harder letting him fully fill you up.

Your nails scratched down from his shoulders down to his chest leaving a light mark.

 “Old habits die hard?” he breathed out making you smile with it as you brushed your fingers over the marks and you leaned forward to lick into his mouth, your hips never stopping with bouncing up and down on him.

„Is this good?” you asked him as you reached behind you, running your fingers around his balls squeezing them a little. Although you already knew the answer seeing the look in his eyes and hearing the hitches in his breathing. His body gave obvious responses to your touch.

„You haven’t been this chatty last time…” he swallowed back a groan.

„Well, last time you haven’t been this single, either…”

You were like fire on fire, perfectly igniting each other’s arousal. It was like you never felt yourself this alive.

He cupped your breasts in his hands and as you slowed your hips he took his time to caress and massage them, kiss them and suck on your nipples, circling his tongue around them sending you into hyperspace with all this sensation. Now you had the chance to discover what you couldn’t six months earlier.

Your movements slowed down as your thighs started to tire, and Ash sensing this took control over the things from then. His hands found their way back on your hips and he started to pound into you in the same rhythm you moved on him. It’s been a new sensation and his name fell from your lips like a prayer as your pleasure started to build in your core.

 “Please don’t stop, I’m so close” you whispered in his ear whimpering before you took his earlobe with his earring into your mouth pulling on it a little.

 He kept your hips in place and this time it was really just him moving his hips a bit faster than before and you screamed as your walls spamsed around his cock in you. He threw his head back and as his grip loosened on your hips you started moving again riding out your own climax.

He looked back at you and you smiled at him in your delirium, kissing him deeply for the pleasure he gave you.

Reaching under your butt he stood up and took you into your bedroom, putting you down on the bed.

 “Where do you want me?” you asked as you really were ready to give him anything he wants or needs in any position.

“Just lie down. I’d like to see your pretty face as I take you.”

 With only this one sentence he sent a jolt through you again and you did as he told, lying on your back you were waiting for his promise to be fulfilled.

Leaning over you he entered you again and with a louder moan you welcomed back that now familiar and oh so good feeling of having him inside you.  This time he picked up a quicker pace that he slowed down on purpose from time to time, you saw him struggling more and more as he tried to lengthen our moments as long as he can, but six months was six months for him too…

 “Ash, don’t hold it back” you caressed his face. “You can come. I need you to. We’ll have plenty of time to do this…” you brushed his lower lip with your thumb before he leaned down to kiss you.

 After a few more thrusts, he pulled his cock out of you, rested it on your abdomen for a second, and looking down, seeing his length lying under your stomach you wished he could put it back to feel him finish off inside you.

He took his cock in his hand and started to pump it slowly until you reached down almost immediately to replace his hand with yours keeping your constant eye contact. Seeing the lust still shining in his eyes and hearing his groans through his gasping as your warm palm covers his soft skin lightly twirling and moving on it back and forth, paying special attention to the sensitive part right under his tip was the crown of this night for you. Without moving your head, only your eyes wandered down to capture the moment of his cum spilling out onto your stomach, your eyes immediately found back to his, your teeth grazing your bottom lip. Ash’s soft moans filled the room, the moans you could hear with your ears but feel with your soul. Not stopping with stroking him, you slowed down with your movements and he leaned down to kiss you while you still kept his length in your hand, your thumb wiping the last drops off of his tip.

 “I’ll bring a cloth” he whispered on your lips after taking a look down at your stomach covered with the drops of his cum.

“You’ll find some in the bathroom cabinet.”

 You heard him run the tap and soon he came back with a wet cloth helping you get clean, then wiped himself too. After taking it back to the bathroom, he came back and lied down next to you.

 “I like your necklace” he stroked your jewelry hanging around your neck.

“It’s so beautiful, and I love it so much, I didn’t take it off since I received it.”

“Could we give this a chance? Maybe the timing wasn’t right back then, but it can be now. I want this. I want us. I want you.”

“If you’re working on to see me cry again, you’re doing it right” you smiled at him.

“I’m dead serious” he reached out to you and stroked your face.

“I know. And I’d like this too.” you took his hand in yours kissing into his palm.

“Come home to us.”

“I want to. And I will. But I have to close my barely begun life here first” you laughed.

“I won’t let you out of my reach again.”

“You better not, Irwin.”

 He drew a cross over his heart with his pointer finger.

 “In the morning we can work everything out. And this time I’ll be around.”

“Promise?” he smirked.

“Promise” you drew a cross over your heart too and leaning over him you sealed your promise on his lips with a kiss before he playfully pulled you onto his body.

 Caressing and kissing each other you slowly quieted, and with tangled limbs you finally fell asleep in each other’s arms.

* * *

 I can’t recall the last time I was this happy in my life.

Imagining a life where I open my eyes in the morning and the first thing I catch a glimpse of is the beautiful and peaceful face of the man I love was only a dream for me for so many years.

But it’s funny how life can make up for its own mistakes.

I remember the girl from six months earlier. How bad she wanted to touch him, how bad she wanted to kiss him awake, how bad she wanted to put her hand over his heart just to feel its even beating.

And now I’ll just do exactly that.

[fuckingthefictional]

Hi! Yes I love headcanon of being ada’s best friend & falling for tommy. Could I please request another part of being her best friend & tommy asks you out

I’m so glad you enjoyed it! I hope you like this part- I enjoyed writing it. Let me know if you want any more parts (I’ve got a new Tommy x reader story coming out soon too.)

Also A/N- Campbell and Grace just don’t exist in this AU, because they’re a pain in the ass and all I want is for the Shelby’s to be happy and to conduct their illegal business in peace :)

On Sunday nights you stayed late at Watery lane to put the children to bed.

All of the older children got into bed and went to sleep with no issues.

But the youngest of John’s kids, Rosie, was teething.

And if you haven’t had or worked with kids TEETHING IS A NIGHTMARE

So you found yourself with a swaddled toddler sat in the living room, trying desperately to soothe the poor child

Just as Rosie had started to drift off to sleep. John, Arthur and Tommy had come banging through the front door.

The boys just came in and you had to fight the urge to smack all of them on the back of their heads.

But your glare shut them all up immediately

Tommy was once again m e s m e r i s e d at the sight of you comforting his niece

You told John to go and check on his children and Arthur excused himself to go to bed.

It was just you and Tommy.

He sat next to you and was in the process of lighting up a cigarette

But you plucked it out of his fingers and threw it across the room

“If you think you’re going to smoke around a 2 year old- then you’re obviously out of your mind Tommy.”

“You care a lot about John’s children and Finn for that matter- why?”

“They’re like the siblings I never had, I care about them.”

Tommy had heart eyes

You weren’t aware of how close you were and that you were slowly leaning closer

I’m a slut for fluff like this.

And just as you were about to kiss- Ada came through the door in tears.

You immediately passed Rosie over to a clueless Tommy

And ran over to your bestfriend and gave her a hug.

“Ada what’s that matter?”

“Y/N I’m pregnant.”

“WHAT.”

“Can I stay at yours tonight. Pol is pissed.”

You’d never seen Ada this emotional before.

So you did what any best friend would do.

You helped her have a warm bath, got her changed and got her into your bed- where you then stroked her hair and comforted her.

“Ada I need you to know- you’ve got me okay? You’re like my sister, as far as I’m concerned that my niece or nephew that your carrying.”

Cue tears

“You mean it.”

“Of course.”

You both lay in bed talking like you used to when the boys were in France.

The next morning you took all of the children to school, on your way back with Rosie and Wilfred (the youngest siblings) you quite literally ran into Tommy.

“Meet me tonight, my room”

Probably sounds lowkey kinky

Later that evening, after putting the kids to bed, you decided to save Polly a job and do the washing up from dinner.

You didn’t hear Tommy come into the kitchen.

He just wrapped his arms around your waist and softly kissed at your exposed neck.

You leaned back into him, smiling softly.

“When are you going to see that I’m in love with you.”

“You Shelby’s move fast- maybe take me on a date or kiss me before you declare your undying love for me.”

“That can be arranged.”

He just lifted you up onto the counter and was about to kiss you when- SLAP

Tommy Shelby has a handful of bubbles slapped onto his cheek and jawline.

You were just there giggling like a child

That was until he threw some bubbles at your face.

Then commenced the bubble war of 1919

There was water all over the floor- bubbles all over the counter.

And you were both soaked and soapy.

It looked like a retelling of Noah’s ark or something

“You’re in so much trouble Y/N Y/L/N.”

“Oh yeah what are you going to do, Mr Shelby?”

F u c k

He just leant in and kissed you.

F I N A L L Y

You both eventually made your way up the stairs to his bedroom.

And it was the best night of your life

Frickity Frackity Tommy is a snackity

You woke up in the morning to an empty bed- but a note on the bedside table.

‘Go with Ada into town and pick out a dress- it’s time we went on a date. All my love - T x’

Ada was e x c i t e d.

So were you let’s face it

At 7pm Tommy picked you up from your apartment, looking handsome as ever.

When you opened the door he was in a state of shock.

“Wow.”

For the date you went to a fancy resteraunt- but you both kept getting dirty looks from the other diners. So you both left halfway through.

Instead Tommy took you to the stables at Charlie’s yard.

Tommy once again looked so in love as he watched you interact with the horses.

You were so perfect in his eyes.

So there was literally no issue when you leant up and kissed him square on the mouth and the pair of you fell back onto a pile of hay.

“Y/N/N why’ve you got hay in your hair.”

Que mortified looks with Tommy

“Oh um I was helping your brother look after the horses. Right Tommy?”

“Aye, she’s very good- with the horses.”

You became official after that night, and Tommy was so happy to call you his.

Like he just spoilt you with gifts

And eventually you’d have to tell him to S t o p

The first time he told you that he loved you was after you’d both had sex

You were just laying together, he thought you’d fallen asleep.

And he just looked at you with so much love and adoration.

“I’m so in love with you Y/N Y/L/N- you have no idea how much.”

And you just sort of mumbled back

“I love you more Thomas Shelby.”

He was in shock for the first 5 minutes but he slowly sank into the mattress and pulled you closer to his body.

He was so in love and was so damn lucky- and he was determined not to fuck it up.

[jamaisvuandyou]

Please Dry My Eyes: Part 2

Description: Jin, Hoseok, and Yoongi have had a running streak of bad luck, but Jin isn’t sure what to make of this one: His old friend’s trickery that leads to him being the new father of a little toddler, Jeon Jungkook.

Posted: 05/28/2020

WARNING: Brief mentions of suicide.

Angst: 2,068 words

A/N: Sorry it’s so late, someone on Ao3 demanded I update soon and so my brain rebelled against me. And I’ve had a busy week.

Previous Part.  Next Part.

Jin still felt like he could use a drink, or eight.

Hoseok gingerly tested the couch. “He left a note, right?”

“Yeah. He said the pressure was too much. Said that everything would be better off, everyone would be better off. Said there were some videos for his son on the flash drive in his desk. Apologized to him and me. Basically told Jungkook's mother’s parents to F-off because he wasn’t going to let them abuse Jungkook the way they did his mother.”

“Wow. That’s it? That’s all he wrote?”

“There were more expletives and a long winded argument as to why they shouldn’t fight the arrangements he’s made. He was a lawyer. Had to make sure his work wasn’t fought.” Jin rubbed his forehead, panic welling up in him. He was a parent now and he wasn’t even the one who had gotten the girl pregnant.

“There. That was the last box. We’re all moved in. It’s kind of sad that we can pack and unpack our belongings in less than a day.” Hobi had arranged the few house decorations that they had on the coffee table and side tables. 

After rushing to the scene with Yoongi last night, and giving statements to the police until the wee hours of morning, they’d gone home, slept for half an hour before Yoongi had to rush to work, then Jin and Yoongi spend a few hours packing up and the last hour unpacking in the new place. Thankfully, Hobi’s friend from the dance studio had a car and had been more than happy to help transfer their things. But most of their furniture they just took to the dumpster.

They hadn’t given Hoseok the full details, partially because it was horrific and Jin just couldn’t deal with it yet and partially because they were both so exhausted that Hoseok just let them leave it at that until about fifteen minutes ago when Jin finally started explaining everything. Hoseok had only mildly inquired about what was going on, and Jin figured he needed to at least know the important bits.

“Your shoes working for you?”

Hoseok looked up at him warmly. “Yeah. Thanks, Hyung. I know you were buying them before all of this happened. It means a lot. Really.”

Jin just patted his arm. “You needed them.”

“We also needed food and coffee, but you got me the shoes.” Hobi hugged him, not satisfied.

Jin just smiled and laughed a little.

That made Hoseok smile up at him. “There. Better. You looked like you were ready to jump off a building in panic.”

Jin winced, the image of blood popping up in his mind.

“Oh…” Hobi squeezed tighter. “Sorry. I didn’t know.”

Jin just nodded, sighing shakily. “If I had paid attention…”

“Hyung, he was determined. He would have ended up somewhere they could monitor him and he could convince them that he was fine and then what? There’s nothing you could have done.”

“I enabled him.”

“Jungkook will be better off with you, Hyung. I know he will.”

Jin leaned against his younger for a moment, uncertain of everything that was ahead of him.

The doorbell rang.

They looked at each other and then Jin got up and answered it. “Hello.”

“I’m Namjoon, Jungkook’s caseworker. And this—“ he looked at the toddler in his arms. “Is Jungkook.”

Jin smiled. “Hi, Jungkook.”

“Jinnie,” he murmured, looking quizzical.

Jin blinked in surprise. “Yeah, I’m Jinnie.”

Jungkook smiled and shyly reached out for him.

Jin smiled again as he took the toddler into his arms. “Hey, buddy. You know who I am?”

“Jinnie,” he mumbled again, tucking his face into Jin’s shoulder and clutching his shirt tightly.

“From what I understand, his dad has been showing him pictures of you. Saying you’re his uncle.” Namjoon looked stressed. “How long ago did you actually find out? Because he filed everything a week ago, but he was pretty insistent about not bothering you until everything was certain.”

Jin debated silently on how to answer.

“It won’t change anything. The paperwork is solid and your background check came up clean. There was your recent job, but he informed me of it yesterday and said that you weren’t actually at fault. Jungkook is yours. Completely. Provided you don’t become an unfit guardian.”

Jin sighed. “He asked me yesterday. He sent me fake contracts so I could read through them and had me sign the ones he actually wanted me to sign. I trusted him. When we realized…” he swallowed hard. “It was too late. His lawyer said we were clear to move in here since everything was official and submitted before he died.”

Namjoon just nodded. “Here’s my phone number. For now you need to call me whenever he needs to see the doctor. You don’t need to call for his appointment this Friday. It was scheduled before. More like, if he gets sick or hurt, just so that I can make sure that he’s being properly taken care of and keep on top of paperwork.”

Jin took his card, and stepped aside so Namjoon could set Jungkook’s diaper bag down.

“The rest of his stuff is in my trunk.”

“I’ll help you,” Hoseok said. “I’m Jin’s roommate, Hoseok. Or, I guess I’m his tenant now.”

Jin rolled his eyes. “Roommate. I’m already freaking out, don’t threaten me with the stress of having you pay me rent.”

Namjoon chuckled sympathetically.

Jin watched the cute toddler peek out at him sleepily, before rubbing his face back into Jin’s shoulder. Jin gently rubbed Jungkook’s back, noticing how much Jungkook relaxed with it.

Hoseok and Namjoon brought in two suitcases.

Namjoon slid one open partially and pulled out a stuffed animal. “This is his Nunny and Jungkook can’t sleep without it.”

Jin took the bunny when Jungkook looked around at the name of his toy, tucking it in between Jungkook and himself. He smiled when he saw Jungkook smile a very little before his eyes slipped shut and he was out like a light.

Jin closed his eyes, rubbing the boys back and savoring the warmth he radiated.

Namjoon looked through something on his phone, then went into the diaper bag and pulled out a picture frame containing a photo of Jungkook’s parents in it. “I’m sure there are more photos somewhere, but I thought it was important he have at least one of both of them together.

Jin nodded. “Thanks.”

Hoseok took it, setting it on a shelf that they had no chance of filling considering they’d unpacked just about everything they owned.

“Alright, if you have any questions or problems, just give me a call. I’ve been working with Jungkook for a while and he can be a little particular.” He checked on the boy in Jin’s arms one last time, then looked at Jin. “Really though, I can tell you’ll be good for him. He hasn’t fallen asleep that easily since I don’t know when. He does walk a bit, but his speech is a little behind as well as some of his fine motor skills. He still struggles to feed himself, but he’s getting better.”

“Alright, I’ll work with him on that.”

“Okay then, I’m off. Good luck.” Namjoon seemed a little hesitant to leave, but stroked Jungkook’s head one last time before heading out the door.

Hoseok shut the door, having followed Namjoon out for a moment. “So, you’re a dad now.”

Jin shivered. “He’s so small, Hoseok.”

Hoseok nodded, coming close and stroking the boy’s hair. “Namjoon is right. You’ll be good for him. I’m going to take his suitcases to his room. You want me to unpack?”

“No, I want to do it so I can find everything easily when you’re at work tomorrow.”

“Good point. Just sit down. Cuddle your kid.” He chuckled. “Oh God, hyung. Your kid.”

“My kid. My Jungkook. That’s a mouthful.”

“JK?”

“Mmm, I was thinking Kookie,” Jin countered, sitting down on the couch (it’s been forever since they had a couch and he was so excited) and relaxing so he could hold Jungkook properly. The toddler was sound asleep, one of the bunny ears gripped tightly in one of his hands and Jin’s shirt in the other. “I’m sure we’ll probably use both as he grows.”

Hoseok sighed. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to sleep.”

“I know. I’ve gotten used to your elbow in my side, and Yoongi stealing the covers. We can ease out of it, I think.”

“That sounds like a good idea.” He headed toward the door and opened it just as Yoongi was getting ready to knock. “It was unlocked.”

“Oh. Whoa,” He looked around with surprise. He took off his shoes before taking a few tentative steps in. He looked at a loss for words, finally settling with, “Our stuff must look so out of place here.”

“Mostly things just look empty,” Hoseok answered. “Glad there was a bed though, because ours literally fell apart while we were transporting it out of the apartment and a spring came through our mattress. So, hope you’re okay with the mattress that was here. We also decided to just throw out most of the other furniture. Kept the dining room table. Oh, and hyung being a dad is already weird.”

Yoongi nodded, then saw Jin and the curled up toddler. “He’s even smaller than I imagined. What’s his name again?”

“Jungkook.”

“Right. Um, do you want me to make lunch?”

“That’d be great, Yoongi,” Jin replied, smiling. There was something really soothing about holding Jungkook so close as he slept. Feeling his even breaths and the beating of his heart. The quiet little sounds he made now and then.

“You look ready for a nap,” Hoseok chuckled softly.

“I feel ready for one. But I’m getting hungry and this one will be hungry sooner or later. Something simple. Maybe a grilled cheese?” He needed a nap, honestly. He’d been going since yesterday and his nap this morning wasn’t exactly enough to satisfy his need for sleep.

“Can do.” Yoongi got a good look at Jungkook and smiled. “He’s cute.” Then he headed into the kitchen to make lunch.

Jin smiled down at the kiddo, then kissed the ultra-soft baby hair. He was adorable, and so very soft and squishy.

Jungkook stirred, blinking up at Jin and then pulling his Nunny closer and peeking out at the world. “Jinnie.”

Jin pressed a kiss to the boy’s chubby cheek. “Are you hungry, Jungkookie?”

He nodded cutely, lips puckering cutely as he curiously watched Yoongi and Hoseok move around the kitchen.

“You want to go see what Yoongi and Hoseok are making?” Jin asked, getting up. If he didn’t move he was going to fall asleep, and that would throw him off for the rest of the evening.

Jungkook nodded again, hand turning into a fist around Jin’s shirt.

Jin chuckled and carried him to a kitchen. “Hobi, Yoongi, look who’s awake.”

Hoseok turned and smiled. “Ah! Hi, Jungkookie!”

Jungkook gasped and buried his face in Jin’s shoulder and neck, bringing up his bunny to hid behind as well.

Jin gave him a little squeeze. “It’s okay, Jungkook. Hobi is just happy to see you.”

“I wanted to play with you later, if that’s okay,” Hoseok said softly. “We can go play outside.”

Jungkook shook his head, not even peeking out.

Jin exchanged worried looks with the other two. “Okay, well, we can play with your Nunny later if you want.”

Jungkook just whined a bit and wiggled in Jin’s grip. He wiggled until Jin set him down, still clinging to Jin’s sleeve, but standing and looking around poutily. He looked up at Jin, lip wobbling and arms going up.

Jin sighed, but smiled as he picked up the toddler. “You’re just not sure about any of this, are you, kiddo?” He pressed a little kiss to Jungkook’s forehead.

“Jinnie,” He mumbled, clutching the collar of Jin’s shirt. “Nunny?”

“It’s on the floor. We’re going to have dinner. Some yummy grilled cheese and some applesauce.”

Hoseok picked it up and handed it to him so he wouldn’t have to try and pick it up.

“Ju?”

Jin thought for a moment. “Ju-ice?”

“Ju,” Jungkook nodded.

“Okay, I think I have some orange juice, how does that sound?”

He looked up at Jin, blinking, wet eyes looking completely lost.

“Well, we’ll just try it. You want to sit next to me, Jungkookie?” He offered, heading to the high-chair that had been in the closet but now sat beside the table.

Jungkook just mumbled Jin’s name again, but didn’t protest when Jin put him in the highchair. He just sort of looked at the table of the high chair and watched Jin as he got the sippy cup of juice, the container of applesauce, and the plate with the grilled cheese sandwich.

Jin sat down beside Jungkook, setting the cup and applesauce down.

“Can he feed himself?” Yoongi asked.

“We’re about to find out,” Jin answered, putting the spoon into the applesauce.

Jungkook grabbed the spoon, but was playing with it more than eating.

Jin hummed to himself, gently taking the spoon from Jungkook and feeding him a bit of applesauce.

Jungkook readily opened his mouth to take it.

“Yeah, don’t think he knows how to feed himself yet. Are you sure you can feed him the grilled cheese sandwich?” Hoseok asked, taking a seat with his own sandwich.

“Could you cut it up into small bites while I feed him the applesauce?”

He nodded, sitting and taking a knife to the sandwich.

“What should we do for dinner, hyung?” Yoongi asked, checking the cupboards.

“Rice, and whatever else we can think of. I don’t know, I don’t think I was as ready as I thought.” Jin shook his head and helped Jungkook eat another spoonful of applesauce.

“Jinnie,” Jungkook continued to babble Jin’s name between bites, seeming at least a little happy. But Jin still wanted to see the boy smile.

“You’ll figure it out, hyung. We all will,” Hoseok said optimistically, hugging Jin’s shoulders and head from behind.

Jin’s eyes widened as Jungkook burst into tears and made grabby hands at Jin without any sort of explanation. Just a continued wail of “Jinnie!”

Yoongi covered his ears while Jin tried to calm the child. “Sooner rather than later, hopefully.”

–

Previous.  Next.

Masterlist.

[lefaystrent]

LeFay’s Masterlist

Here’s a list of all of my Sanders Sides stories. There’s a lot down there. Lots of pairings, lots of genres. Don’t get lost.

ONE-SHOTS 

20biteen??? – Patton’s really confused and Logan’s just trying to make a sandwich.

A demon? In my attic? More likely than you think --  “Well that’s what happens when your dad asks you to clean the attic and it’s filled with a bunch of junk from his wiccan days,” Virgil explained, though from the demon’s pinched expression the explanation left a lot to be desired.

A Dire Situation -  Logan tries not to make a single move or sound. His whole body coils tight with tension, knowing that the animal can strike at any moment. (additional parts can be found here)

A Storm Rolled into Town -  It’s not like Virgil meant to become famous anyway. It just sorta happened. And now he’s shopping in some small-town mom-and-pop store on a weekday morning. Despite wearing the hood of his jacket up and perhaps looking the more conspicuous for it, he can sense that someone somewhere in this store is watching him.

Ashes –Three months ago, Roman returned home to find the house that he shared with his younger brothers up in flames.

Baby you’re a Firework - “Patton is MY best friend!” you screamed, and then you looked to me with those eyes. How else was I supposed to react other than to tell you that we would be together forever? Logicality

Beneath the Boughs –The feeling of tender fingertips tracing from his jaw to his temple made him want to run through fields, but he wouldn’t move an inch away from this spot for anything in the world. Royality

Curiosity – Deceit’s mission to annoy Logan somehow involves sharing a bed with him and refusing to leave. Logan doesn’t really mind. Loceit

Death of a Bachelor - Virgil invites a bunch of billionaires to his fake wedding with his roommate, Logan. He doesn’t expect one of them to actually agree to go. 

Dino – Patton visits his local library one day and meets the librarian Logan, a man who loves dinosaurs.

Down by the Pier – Patton lives by the ocean. He likes to go sit out on the pier because the view is sweet but the company is even sweeter. Moxiety

Every Friday Night – “There’s a cat? In the sink?” Virgil said. platonic LAMP

Existentialism – Patton is a demon and really bad at it.

Five Times – There were five times that Virgil’s path crossed with Logan Sanders. Each time memorable, each time helping to shape Virgil into the kind of person he wants to be. platonic Analogical

Flutter and Fall – Virgil doesn’t believe in love at first sight, but he wonders if you can fall in love with a moment. Prinxiety

Happy Birthday, Virgil – Logan tends to take things literally.

Heartbeat – Roman’s out on the hunt for prey. He gets more than he bargained for.

Heartbeat AU – More info on the story.

Hello Mr. Spider -  He’s heard the screams of people whenever they lay eyes on him. They take one look at him, this monstrous being with too many limbs and eyes, and they quiver in fear and tears. He doesn’t blame them. He hides himself away, hoping to never hear those horrified screams. Moxiety

Hello Again -  Humans trespassed into the church occasionally. Some during the day, most of them at night. Never did humans come two nights in a row. Moxiety (Sequel to “Hello Mr. Spider”)

Hold On -  He felt someone grip the sleeve of his shirt. Logan looked to his side where Deceit stood, holding onto him. platonic Loceit

How to be a Good Person - “There’s an unconscious man in my flowerbed. What should I do with him?” Dee should be used to getting phone calls from his brother needing help. brotherly Moceit

I got to pet the dog -  Patton gets distracted easily. Virgil doesn’t have the heart to tell him he’s supposed to be working.

I met God last night - Predictably, Patton looked up to stare at Virgil. He set aside his scrapbook, clasped his hands together, and said, “Okay, I’m listening.” platonic Moxiety

I wanna intimi(date) you — Virgil teaches Patton to be more intimidating. It doesn’t go very well.

In a magical kingdom far away… —  The evil Lord Of Logic descends on the land, forcing all it touches to obey the laws of physics.

It’s hot – Virgil won’t take off the jacket.

Love Isn’t Blind – Patton notices a lot more than what people think he does.

Never Too Old – Patton worked as a manager at a toy store in the mall. Lately, the employees were noticing a reoccurring customer. Well, if you could call him a customer. He never actually bought anything. platonic Moxiety

Picture That –  “What are you doing?” Patton says between a flurry of giggles. He lifts the book he’d been reading to half hide his face. Roman dances around him snapping pictures as if Patton is a model. Royality

Piggyback – It’s late, and Patton’s falling asleep on the couch. Virgil’s not used to being the responsible one. Moxiety

Potatoes – Virgil has worries for days, but there’s only one thing that truly scares him. Moxiety

Rewrite – So here Roman is, lying by the sidewalk, very much not okay. Not because the local squirrels ostracized him, and not because he’d tripped or some such unfortunate mishap. No, he just has a lot on his mind. Prinxiety

Ribbit – Two lab partners and one dead frog do not make for the most romantic atmosphere but Roman tries. Logince

Roamin’ Nights -  Not that anyone’s looking right now, but Virgil’s glad that it’s dark in the kitchen, lest the color in his cheeks show. Roman’s not usually this affectionate with Virgil. Makes him wonder if he even realizes that this is Virgil he’s basically trying to use as a pillow. Prinxiety

Round and round we go – Logan stood there long after the commotion began outside, the one where everyone realized what had happened and were running to help and call an ambulance.

Sacrificial rituals and other fun activities – Virgil was a mage—one of the best. He’d seen a lot of things, but a handsome man chained up in the middle of a field? Even he had to take a moment. Prinxiety

Shark Attack! -  “I could be wrong here, but I’m pretty sure sharks don’t attack their victims with hugs.” platonic Moxiety

Sicky Icky – Most people assumed Roman would eat up all the attention he could get even when sick. They’d expect loud dramatics and Roman acting like he was dying every minute of it. That’s not how he was at all. Logince

Side-by-side – Virgil’s tired. Moxiety

So help me, I’m not moving from this spot – Virgil has the day off from work and chooses to spend it in true Virgil style. Queer platonic LAMP

Soft Prinxiety – Literally just a softy prinxiety scene. Prinxiety

Some Days – Some days are better than others, and some aren’t. These are Virgil’s days in the mindscape.

Someday I’ll find my way home -  Love cut deep and left scars on the heart. The heart never quite beat the same way again afterward. Analogical

Supposed to be – People get locked into a certain kind of perspective and decide what kind of person you’re supposed to be. Patton is frustrated.

Take Over the World - There’s not much else to do in the Mindscape for Deceit and the Duke.

That one time Deceit played hero in the mindscape – Deceit goes to the common rooms to find that everyone…is acting too much like themselves.

The Hug Booth -  In Patton’s free time, he had a booth set up somewhere on campus and he’d go sit there. The booth advertised ‘free hugs’.

The Ties that Bind – Everyone has a soulmate. Even the ones who probably shouldn’t. Logicality

This is the police! – “This is the police! Open up! Tell me something about yourself, don’t be afraid.” Prinxiety

Ties - Roman and Patton try to persuade Logan to wear a bow tie. Logan is uncooperative. romantic LAMP

Trances – The sides go into trance-like states sometimes.

Trouble in Tiny Town -  Logan is six inches tall. And somehow the human is the one cowering in fear.

Useless gays are useless – Patton is shirtless and Roman and Virgil are very, very gay. Roman/Patton/Virgil

Stil Gay -  Roman and Virgil are still thirsty gays, and Patton is a tall drink of water. One night of tv watching with his roommates leads to none of them paying attention to the tv. Roman/Patton/Virgil (Sequel to “Useless gays are useless”)

Wake up call -  There’s a muffled siren blaring from outside somewhere. He can feel the time slipping between his fingers.

We are family~ - “Patton,” Logan called. He stood in the doorway, stern-faced for a moment before slumping forward with a pout. “I require physical affection.” platonic LAMP

MULTI-CHAPS

Analogince - What started as a list of headcanons became a story of how three men fell together. part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4

Dog Days – In the midst of grieving for his beloved pet, comfort comes to Thomas in a curiously small form. platonic LAMP/Thomas, borrower!sides 

If you have nightmares, we’ll dance on the bed - Fae thrived on chaos and the fear that came with it. Well, most of them anyway. Virgil never really shared that sentiment. (Or alternatively, the story of how Virgil loves humans so much that he makes stupid decisions because of it, like save princes from attempted assassinations.)

Kid!Logan AU – Logan somehow finds himself back in time, waking up in his eleven-year old body.

Reverse Kid!Logan AU –  Roman just wanted a normal babysitting job. Now he’s caught up in debunking why he sees five-year-old Logan Sanders as if he were a grown man. part one , part two

Lifeline – Long ago, when his sides first started showing up, Thomas had pondered long and hard about reality versus imagination. But this? It became more apparent that Patton was carding his hand through Thomas’s hair. It was as if any of his friends were doing it, so tangible it was. Tangible in a way that shouldn’t be possible. platonic LAMP/Thomas

Nursing Home AU -  Patton had seen Virgil during the hiring process, and his personality didn’t seem like a … good fit. Too closed-off and kinda gruff, and probably not a good bedside manner, right? Plus there was that criminal record to consider… But he’s hired anyway, and Virgil joins the staff.

Psychic Therapist Virgil – Virgil’s not your run-of-the-mill therapist. part one, part two

Roses – The humans steer clear from the forest, warning their children with every generation, “Do not stray into those woods. They will devour you.” But it’s modern times now, fairy tales aren’t real, and Virgil and his friends have just moved into town and want to investigate the ‘haunted’ forest.

Variants – Patton was surprised by the mutant breaking into the jewelry store one night. And by break in, he meant that they seeped into shadows and appeared on the other side of the windows without breaking anything at all.

Weclome to the Neighborhood –Virgil’s really bad at peopling, or so his new neighbors find out. Prinxiety

Witch Way -  Virgil just wants to live a quiet life with his familiar, Logan. But we can’t always get what we want.

[vvirgils]

Chronicles of Straith#2-The Witch’s Dragon:Chapter 13

Chronicles of Straith #1-Fate’s Door///Chapter 12/Chapter 14//Masterpost

Something was pounding on Roman’s door. It wasn’t even light out yet, and the room was still dark. When it refused to stop, Roman got up, still in last night’s clothes because they’d been so tired, and opened the door. The red scarf was somewhere in their room, they couldn’t be bothered to look for it.

Their chief advisor, the only person outside of Roman’s cabinet who held any sort of power over them, was standing in the doorway, looking very unhappy with the king. “Your father is here,” he said, taking in Roman’s tired appearance. “While I am glad that you are back, there’s really no time. This is a pressing matter at hand.”

“My —what?” Roman asked, not even sure if they weren’t dreaming. Their father was away in a vacation home on the coast, insulated from all outward news as per Roman’s demand. There was no reason for their advisor to be standing here, in the middle of the night.

“Your father has arrived. Evidently, he caught wind of your legalizing magic and the chaos it has caused, and wishes to see you.”

Roman respected Camden. The man did the difficult, thankless job that was advising them, and he did it well, even if he was a bit robotic at times. He was one of Roman’s biggest supporters, although if he didn’t always show it. Nonetheless, Roman’s brain wasn’t functioning. “Ok, well um, can you tell him to wait until the sun is up?”

“He is the past king and your father, Roman. And he is very, very angry. Get dressed and be in the council room in ten minutes.” He smiled, then closed the door in front of a still half-asleep Roman.

So, Roman got dressed. It was dark, but it didn’t take long to put on something that looked about halfway to kingly. Not even bothering to look in the mirror, Roman went downstairs to the council room, still rubbing their eyes and unaware of how shocking their presence was to literally everyone they passed.

They reached the council room, taking a brief moment to attempt composure before opening the door and stepping inside. Roman gave the room a visual sweep, wondering who they had to ask to take over in order to get back to bed. That train of thought ground to a halt when Roman realized that no, it hadn’t been a joke.

Epos Theularus stood in the center of the council room, looking at Roman with disappointment practically radiating from his body. “Hello, Roman.”

“Father.” It was a statement, since they were still trying to figure out what was happening.

“I trust that I don’t need to explain to you how the chaos you’ve unleashed on Straith is a terrible mistake, and you will hand the throne over to me immediately, since I’m not so foolish as to actually legalize sorcery. Just show me to the throne room.” Epos stopped talking, waiting for Roman’s response. Judging by his tone, he expected a quiet “Yes, father.”

Well, even half-asleep Roman wasn’t that much of a pushover. “Actually, no. I’m the king of Straith, remember? And my actions have done a lot more good for everyone than you could ever imagine. So if you would, please go back to your lovely vacation home and leave me to deal with my own problems,” Roman said, staring their father down. This had to work, there was no way Roman could put up with their shitbag father for more than a few minutes without losing all the sanity they had.

“Actually, I have just as much of a claim to the throne as you do, Roman. Considering that I am the older member of the royal family, and gave up the throne voluntarily. I can always take it back,” Epos said, frowning and crossing his arms.

Roman kept glaring at him, too tired to do much more.“You gave it up. The throne, the kingdom is mine now. Right, Camden?”

“Well…” Camden began, looking down at his hands. “Roman, you are still a child in the eyes of the law, and considering that you are currently co-ruling with a cabinet, he can take the throne back. You could be relegated back to the status of prince, assuming that you willingly give your father his crown during the coronation ceremony.” He looked up at Roman, apology clear as day in his eyes.

“Exactly. Roman, I see no reason for you to object to this simple request. After all, I am not the king who allows magic to terrorize his capital city. I have a solution to that problem, which is eliminating all magic in the country. In fact, we could go before a judge and get the official ruling that would make me king due to your disrespect of time-honored traditions.”

“But I can solve the problem without eliminating magic,” Roman said, tilting their head. Checkmate. “There’s a place in Canea called Lyrwrithe. It’s a reserve for magical creatures, like the one that is the root cause of the magical problems Straith is having.”

Epos’s reaction to Roman’s mention of Canea was priceless. His face twisted, he opened his mouth to speak, but held back. “We should make a deal, son of mine. If you succeed with eliminating this danger within a week, the kingdom is yours and I will go on my merry way. If you do not succeed, sorcery becomes a crime punishable by death. The deaths start with your, ah ‘Head Sorcerer.’ I believe that’s what you called the lunatic you freed from the dungeons, yes?”

Taking in the nervous faces of their cabinet, Camden, nobles, and even the staff, Roman knew they had one choice. Neither of them were perfect kings, but Epos was a proven tyrant. “It’s a deal.” They stepped forward and shook hands with their father, knowing that this was a dangerous game.

“I’m glad we can come to an agreement, Roman. I can’t wait to take back my rightful throne in a week’s time.”

“Fine. So long as my choices for the crown can govern while we carry out our challenge.” Roman trusted Corbin and Sloane over their father in more or less every situation, and this was no exception. While they hated to put it on the couple, the two were the best people they could think of for the job.

They were wide awake now, and they had to talk to Virgil and Rafaela immediately. They left the council room without another word, cutting through the hallways of the castle to Rafaela’s quarters. The first goal here was to capture the dragon, put it in a cage that could at least be used to transport the creature. And the only way to do that was figure something out with Rafaela. Roman stopped in their quarters to grab a few things for the journey before heading to the Dragon Witch’s rooms. They made sure to grab their mother’s scarf—the last thing Roman wanted was for Epos to have it.

This plan was ambitious, but Roman knew it was the only way. They knocked on Rafaela’s door, slightly nervous. It was still very, very early.

Fortunately, she answered, with the dark eye circles of someone who was up late rather than awake early. “King Roman. What brings you here?” She didn’t open the door completely, wary of why Roman would be here at this early hour.

“Epos is back,” Roman said, giving her a second to process. “He caught wind of what I’m doing here and, well, it’s a long story. Can I come in?”

Rafaela let them in, sitting in one of the armchairs in her room, gesturing for Roman to take another. “Tell me everything, I assume we don’t have much time.”

Roman recounted everything that happened that morning, leaving out the night before but mentioning the preserve for magical creatures, Lyrwrithe. Rafaela took it in, growing more concerned as they continued.

“You need me to capture the dragon, yes?” She was matter of fact about it, and her gaze went to the books lying open on the floor of her room. “I can do that.”

“Great, that’s perfect. Can you do it now, or…?” Roman asked, bouncing a little with the first excitement they’d felt this morning.

“I can give you the trap. You need Virgil to set it, I can’t approach the creature. Get her, and by the time the two of you come back, it will be ready.” Rafaela stood up and began gathering books, flipping through them and placing magical bookmarks at important parts. “Go.”

Finding Virgil wasn’t too difficult, she was still asleep. Roman woke her up gently, and had to explain everything once again. Before long, she was awake enough to realize that they had to move now, or Virgil would be stuck cleaning up after the dragon for who knows how long. As a side effect, Laurus also woke up, which was adorable. Both Roman and Virgil could have watched the tiny dragon make adorable snuffly noises for hours, but they didn’t have the time. Virgil set Laurus on her shoulders and they left her quarters.

The pair raced back to Rafaela’s quarters, focused on getting that trap. Virgil burst into Rafaela’s room, much to Roman’s surprise. “Rafaela, you can stop the dragon? With us?” she asked, daring to hope.

“I can give you the trap and send you on your way,” Rafaela said, still fidgeting with some sort of magical device. Much like the still-sleeping Laurus, she was unaffected by Virgil’s entrance. “I myself cannot be near the dragon, and using my magic against it could prove fatal. But I can give you the means to trap it yourself.” She held up the fist-sized device in her hand.

Virgil’s face fell, and she focused on the thing in Rafaela’s hand. “How does it work?”

Rafaela handed her the small contraption of gray metal. “It’s very simple. Find the dragon, and keep it in one place with a freezing spell or something similar. Then, give the device a shot of your magic—not a spell, just a bit of sorcery— and throw it at the dragon.”

“Okay, got it,” Virgil said, turning the device over in her hands.

“Can I come along?” Roman asked.

The Dragon Witch’s harsh gaze scanned them. “I suppose, just stay out of the way. The dragon shouldn’t care about you, you’re irrelevant. It cares about Virgil, though, she looks so much like me.”

Unsure as to what she should say, Virgil nodded.

“We should get going,” Roman said, swallowing their questions and hoping this all worked out well.

Roman and Virgil walked outside, only to find that it was still dark. That was winter, especially here in Straith. The darkness had one advantage: when they looked at the city, it was immediately clear where the dragon was. On the outskirts of town, a small puff of blue flame would reappear, only to disappear again.

“It’s…sleeping?” Virgil half-asked, looking to Roman for reassurance.

“Yep.”

Without another word— it was way too early for words, after all— the two walked towards the dragon. Virgil did her best to keep her footsteps quiet, knowing that it would be easier to trap a sleeping dragon than an awake one. Her dragon rested around her shoulders, a comfortable weight. She hoped Laurus stayed that way, there was no telling how he would react to the much larger dragon currently terrorizing Archdale.

After an uncertain period of time, they reached the dragon. Roman almost gasped aloud at the sheer size of the beast, stopped only by Virgil’s hand on their mouth. They stood stock still as Virgil approached the sleeping creature carefully, making sure that it was still sleeping after each hesitant step.

Its head twitched up, a bloodred iris looking out on them. Virgil raised her hand, not sure what spell to use. The jolt of anxiety in her stomach propelled itself out through her outstretched fingers and hit the dragon in the eye. The eye snapped shut, and the dragon fell back asleep, even more deeply than before.

Roman startled as a puff of dragon breath interrupted the darkness of night. “Is it… asleep?”

Virgil nodded, shushing them, then dug Rafaela’s trap out of the pocket in her cloak. Holding her breath, she sent a jet of purple magic into the contraption. When the dragon kept sleeping, Virgil threw the device. For a second, it didn’t look like anything had happened. The bundle of metal and magic just sat on top of the dragon, doing nothing. Her sleeping spell had to be more powerful than usual.

Then, purple streaks of magic engulfed the dragon, moving across it to create a translucent purple bubble. The dragon still slept. They breathed a collective sigh of relief.

After a minute or two of looking at the dragon and feeling very happy that it was caught, a large error in their plan dawned on the pair. “How are we going to put that on a ship?” Roman asked, “Can you like, shrink it?”

Virgil considered it for a second —that was one big dragon —and decided that she could. “Yeah, I can make it smaller. It’s not an easy spell, but at least undoing it is simple.” She pointed her fingers at the purple bubble and focused, pouring the emotions that had resurfaced in Roman’s chambers last night into stretching the very boundaries of space and matter. It took a lot of concentration for approximately six in the morning, but Virgil pushed her magic to its limit, and the dragon shrunk before her eyes.

“Let’s go,” Virgil said, and Roman didn’t question it. She levitated the dragon and its carrier so that it followed just behind them, and the pair made their way to the docks. Every so often, she looked back to make sure it was still asleep.

Thankfully, one of the sailors at the dock had caught wind of Roman’s quest, and was more than happy to help them get to Canea. She was already delivering a shipment to Chanidy City, so Roman and Virgil sat quietly in the cabin of the ship and tried to get some sleep.