#literally like all my favourite artists of all time had tumblr accounts and then deleted the accounts before i made an account

[unityrain24]

hell on tungle

[momentomori24]

Long-ass fandom rant because I need to scream into the void to find a reason to live let's gooooo

[For context I wrote most of this last friday which I thought was good to mention so the timeline makes a bit more sense. I really held off on this one XD Welp, let's start this trainwreck.]

Ok, I know I have other long posts I should be paying attention to (*cough* Keiji's shady shenanigans rant *cough*) among other probably more important things, but quickly wanna get this off my chest because it's kinda started to bug me and add even more concerns about the yttd fandom than I already have. This is specifically going to be about soushin-- yeah, yeah, I know-- but also bleed into something more... broad. Or broader. Idk, I'm a Tumblr user not a grammar teacher.

While browsing through Twitter I've been noticing a little spike in popularity for yttd with more fans and soushin shippers emerging as well. Which is cool, the game deserves all the praise and popularity it can get. And as someone whose been here for years, I'm glad that the fandom is slowly and steadily grown more accepting of soushin compared to the attitude around it way back when. There's been some genuinely really cool stuff that really does the ship justice from a lot of talented artist and writers that I absolutely love (will link some later), but something I've also been seeing a lot of from fans is what I can only describe as a "sanitisation resurgence" (but not really. kinda). A week or two ago on Twitter I stumbled across some soushin discourse where some people were sharing the sentiment that "if soushin end up being related and/or have a big age gap the ship is ruined". That they can only be two years apart max or else Nankidai has "fumbled them".

And the only response to that I had is "what". Like, how is that a deal breaker to you lot? How did you even get into the ship without accepting that those things could very likely end up being canon? How are you here and not ready to ship them no matter what's revealed about them after everything we've learned about them? Midori and Shin possibly being related was always on the table, and Midori potentially having already been an adult when Shin was in high school was always a very real possibility ever since we learned that he was never actually a student at his school. This is literally what soushin shippers got harassed by antis for years ago. Soushin is "problematic", and that's why people who shipped them where treated so badly in the fandom or just excluded all together. I can't count how many timed I've come across a "soushin shippers dni" or "soushiners are freaks and I hope you all have a bad day" or soushin fanfics/art with "I DON'T ACTUALLY SHIP IT BTW" and "not a ship" and "actual soushin shippers dni" attached to it. I can't recall how many times I had to explain myself with the "I ship but I don't condone it irl" or explain why I shipped them to not be labelled as a freak as if you need an excuse to ship anything fictional to begin with. I still remember soushin artist @uououoon and how they ended up deleting their Twitter account years ago because of the harassment and slanderous comments they were receiving for ships the fandom deemed problematic. When a person was saying their goodbyes to them on reddit and made some goodbye art (which is now deleted), some assholes in the comments were calling them weirdos and pedophiles for how they explored fiction and "glorified abuse" (which are the usual comments to uououoon's art posted on reddit unfortunately). I only caught wind of this one because back when they were still active in the fandom they were my favourite soushin artist and I went through their stuff almost every day and was tipped off when I randomly couldn't find their account anymore. They were such a nice and incredibly talented person too so the fact they essentially got bullied by a flock of stupid western fans seriously irritates me thinking about it again. This is why we cannot have nice things.

Soushin is "problematic". It's toxic and subtly abusive and important to the characters in question, but that didn't stop people from going after people who wanted to explore a dark, canon relationship (romantic, platonic or otherwise). How the actual hell did we go from "soushin has very toxic and problematic elements and you shouldn't be shipping it, you fucking freaks" to "you can ship it but don't make it actually problematic, you fucking freaks" like what is happening right now???? The worst part is that this is coming from other soushin shippers. The fact that there's actually soushiners with "proshippers dni" or "soushin is not for proship" genuinely makes me want to bite someone. Like, you horrible summer child-- not only are you demonstrating that you don't even know what "proship" actually means, but you're also spitting in the face of the people in our community that have CARRIED this ship for us for years. Why throw them under the bus to be one of the “good ones” in the eyes of antis when they hate us all anyway?

This brings us back to the sanitisation point: I feel like soushin is slowly being "sanitised" to fit the sensitive palette of antis by trying to make them as "morally acceptable" as possible. It's a worry I’ve had for a long time that once the fandom grows more accepting of the ship we'll be seeing more people basically scrubbing soushin of everything that made, well, soushin, to justify enjoying it. I've seen a bit of it already with a few people trying to say it's "not abusive" or just erase Shin's very obvious trauma by Midori all together for quite some time. Guess it's starting to happen on a bigger scale sooner rather than later. Maybe. Personally I don't think soushin having a big age gap or being related would ruin the ship. It just adds another layer of fucked up to their already fucked up relationship (I already hc Midori to be significantly older anyway so maybe I'm just biased). It doesn't really matter. I came here for toxic yaoi. I want nuclear waste level toxicity, not nuclear waste level toxicity presented in the most conventional and moral way possible. What would the point even be? It’s like packaging poison in a grape juice box. Like, it might be harmless to look at and more justifiable to think of as delicious, but it’s still poison. You making it look all cute and innocent isn’t going to change that. It's kinda funny and by that I mean not really that people will talk about wanting more "toxic yaoi" but when the yaoi is actually toxic and messy and horrific they will cry about it being "bad" or "ruined". You don't actually want dark dynamics, you want dark dynamics stripped of everything that makes them uncomfortable and dark so it's digestible to your tastes that don't even align with said dynamics in the first place. The worst part of this whole "soushin isn't proship so it's fine" bullshit is that it relies on trying to make the ship more "morally acceptable" or "legal" than other ships. Dawg, we are talking about abuse. You shouldn't be minimising that to say "well it's not [insert other terrible thing] so it's fine!!" That's not the "gotcha" you think it is. It’s one of the reasons why antis being into soushin made me feel weird cuz like you can’t ship it and then turn around to insult someone else, man (I’ve seen so many soushin defenders bash other “proships” to justify theirs like what are you doing--).

Realistically, the simplest and smartest thing to do when I see someone mischaracterise or butcher my faves is to either block or ignore and pretend to not care so I don't act on my sixth sense telling me to off them and myself. Realistically, this shouldn't be a big deal or anything that important, but this attitude is usually weaponized to harm and harass people who don't conform to their purity crisis over fiction. I'm in the unfortunate position of being not only a Your Turn to Die fandom dweller, but a Hazbin Hotel and The Coffin of Andy and Leyley one too. I'm used to being labelled a rapist and incest apologist irl who's delusional and deserves to be harassed and insulted by virtue of the media or ships I like (probably not a good thing). But people who are more active in these fandoms than me have it much worse as they get this shit directly waaaay more often while I mostly get called these things indirectly, which is what motivated me more to make this post.

So a couple days ago someone made some art of Monika from ddlc, Nikole (don't know the game sorry) and Ashley from Tcoaal. A lot of people on Twitter, unsurprisingly, bashed it for including Ashley to the point where some felt the need to clarify that they like her as a character but her actions (for some reason I do not understand like Monika has also done some seriously evil shit why are you not applying that logic to her too?). What struck me the most is that a yttd fan-- a self proclaimed "Midori enthusiast"-- ALSO quoted it to bash having Ashley in it. A freaking Midori fan. I told them to mind their business and start separating fiction and reality and to stop being a hypocrite, and thus ensued the most hilarious and stupidest convo I've had in a while:

You can literally count the seconds it takes for these guys to start throwing predator accusations and slurs at people. So "not exploring fiction correctly" makes me weird, but harming or putting real people on blast for nothing is free game, apparently. They're not the worst, both in this instance and in general, but it just stuck with me. Which is impressive, cuz I normally don't have much emotions to spare aside from general mild irritation for things like this. Maybe it's the Sonic feet.

But it ties into my issue. Midori's an absolute piece of garbage, yet some people will convince themselves that his actions are in some way justifiable to justify their hatred of something else (that is a lot less severe in this case) rather than love and let love. Tcoaal is not an "incest game" and if you describe it like that unironically you are not ready to be on the internet. No, it doesn't condone or glorify incest-- it literally does the opposite. If you need the characters to look into the camera and say "what we're doing is wrong and immoral" before doing something bad, I think you're the problem at that point. For the same reason you liking Midori (probably) doesn't mean you support human experimentation and torture, someone liking Tcoaal doesn't mean they support incest and someone shipping soushin doesn't mean they support abuse. These things are dark and shouldn't be condoned irl, but this is fiction. We can do whatever the hell we want. Being into darker themes and media doesn't have to reflect your real world views, but the inability to grasp that sentiment leads people to make their interests as moral and sanitised as possible and, feeling morally superior, will go after people who don't do that. This person deadass said that "incest is not morally grey and absolutely unjustifiable" (didn't even say that it wasn't btw) as if their blorbo hasn't committed so many atrocities for kicks that I personally find more unjustifiable. That line implies that they think that everything else Ashley has done and everything Midori has done can be justified because it wasn't incest specifically, which I find is a WILD thing to insinuate XD But it really does encapsulate the hoops antis will jump through to defend their likes while attacking yours despite the fact that it's literally the exact same as theirs. Rule of thumb: if someone accuses you of condoning something immoral because you like it in fiction, apply that logic to them, look at what they like and if their wet little meow meow is the Joker, Eren, Killua, Makima, Midori or whatever other morally bankrupt character you can come up with, take that as a confession and run. Cuz half the time these guys are actually nuts. While quote tweeting someone to shit on their art isn't the worst thing, considering how twitter has treated tcoaal artists the fact that they'd potentially open them up to harassment pissed me off, which is probably evident from my tone.

[Hi hi, this is me from the present right now cuz a more recent development came up so I’m using it as an example here too.]

While most of the things listed here have all been happening online, this attitude can come up in the real world as well.

As OP states, a bunch of hellaverse cosplayers were targetted at a french convention by haters of the show trying to ruin their cosplay. This is already completely unacceptable but the thing I can’t for the life of me get over is torching their costume while they’re still wearing it. Literally attempting to set someone on fire. All over a fucking show. It’s baffling how people can justify actions like this because they think your taste in fiction is so disgusting it’s Ok for them to hurt you. Not just online, but outside as well. It’s not the first time a hellaverse cosplayer has been harassed (last time it was a Valentino cosplayer but then again Val fans get shit from all sides all the time), and while I’m pretty sure these will remain as isolated cases it’s still scary to think about. What’s even more scary to think about how people think that their opinion on hazbin hotel has any relevance to the situation. So many of the comments in that post are just “I hate Hazbin Hotel, but—” or “I hate the fandom, but--” or “I hate Vivzie, but—” and I’m literally here ready to start pouncing like SHUT UP. No buts. That is not in any way important here. You not liking the show or the creator should not be important to the situation of cosplayers being actively harmed. You don’t have to signal your allegiances before showing basic human empathy, goddamnit. And what’s even worse is that some people have just turned this into a “b-but the hazbin fandom!!” issue, which is insulting. For example:

The “Hazbin fans do blackface and disrespect black people daily” is a reference to ONE Alastor cosplayer that nobody had defended. Not even fans. At least no one I can find. Yet they are using this one bad apple to generalise the whole fandom as "bad" and down play the amount of bullshit the hatedom does to fans on a regular. It kinda makes me feel sick that someone would look at a situation like this and spin this into a “fandom thing” rather than focusing on the victims. That they don’t deserve to be taken as seriously just because of the fandom their in. Some lunatic in the comments was literally completely minimising this whole thing saying “some red paint (fake blood capsules) isn’t nearly as bad as lynching and what black people have gone through in America” before calling anyone who called out that that’s completely irrelevant racist for liking Hazbin Hotel like are you kidding me. My homies in Christ, someone almost got lit on fire can everyone please stay on the goddamn topic. This is one of the rare moments where I was kinda proud of twitter as the majority of the comments and quotes where calling out their bullshit, but the amount of likes and some of the comments are still disappointing.

So what points am I trying to make here? This was very spontaneous and rushed so apologies if it feels messy cuz it very much is messy. But my main points boil down to this: Purification, sanitation and the “fiction equals reality” and "your fictional tastes reflect on you morality irl" arguments need to die. They just have to. While petting Shin on a daily basis gives me enough serotonin to find the will to live, the only true solace I will find is when people start being normal. People shouldn’t be getting harassed or labelled as freaks for fiction you don’t like both online and real life. People are not less worthy of basic human decency and empathy solely based on their fictional interests. People should be able to explore fiction however the hell they want without worrying about there being made a call out post on them somewhere. I search Tcoaal on twitter and there’ll always be a bunch of posts with over 10k likes calling all fans annoying weirdos or say it’s an “incest game” even tho it literally isn’t. I will try looking for some Valangel art on tumblr and see some loser use the tag to basically shit on everyone who ships it and lying about the treatment these shippers get while defending Charlastor or just shit on the ship in general. I just exist on the twitter side of the HH fandom chilling with other Val fans and literally every single one of them has either received death/rape threats or told to kill themselves, got ratio’d by a bunch of haters, had a call out post saying not to follow dedicated to them, had their art reposted and Val scribbled out, repeatedly accused of ““romantising a rapist””, or all of the fucking above. Valentino’s VA gets asked if he’s actually like the character he plays in real life or a fan being “relieved that he didn’t abuse them like Valentino” when they met (kudos to Joel for being chill about it btw I would be fuming this fandom does not deserve this man). I type in a certain controversial yttd ship to search and most of the latest posts are just people being rude, saying that if Nankidai makes them canon they’ll drop the game, calling the man himself a freak, calling other shippers freaks, shitting on soushin as well and then having soushiners defend their ship while also shitting on said controversial ship. It genuinely feels like fanbases are circuses and we are the clowns 💀

I could list other examples people being weirdos but I can't do that without breaking the momentum of this post even more than I already have. I guess what I wanted to vent about is how these attitudes regarding fiction and the way people police how others engage with it and how people think of you based on what you like can go from just annoying to downright dangerous more often than you’d think. That belief that you are morally superior to someone else based on the fact that you ship or like things the “legal” and “pure” and “healthy” way (which is never actually the case btw) can lead to you being really disrespectful or a complete asshole and not feeling bad about it at all, which does more harm than good. Which is why I thought it was important to bring up more extreme cases to empathise how this obsessive gatekeeping of fiction can and does hurt real people, who should be more important to you than fictional characters.

All of this is very likely going to sound very aggressive in tone and I want to quickly clarify that this is not meant to be an attack towards anyone in particular. I'm just tired and recalling all this stuff is making my mood sink like a stone lmao. Who knows, maybe I'm just overexaggerating and things won't get worse when the game gets more popular. This is just what I've been witnessing both in and out of my side of the moon. The amount of yttd fans I've seen act like this are a lot tho. No fandom is perfect obviously, and this one is the farthest from it, but with new people coming in and this weird attitude and need to sanitise not only towards soushin, but other "problematic" ships and media as well growing more prominent (mostly on Twitter and Tiktok) my biggest worry is that the hostility in this fandom will just... increase? Roulettefeel made pretty good posts about it-- my favourites being this one, also this one and this one's pretty short and sweet, summarising most of my soushin points a lot better and shorter than my trainwreck of a post so I recommend checking them out. If you like soushin, go check them out. If you don't like soushin, go check them out anyway. They make stuff outside of soushin too. They're pretty cool.

[I also want to add that the whole sanitisation thing in the yttd fandom is nothing new. It’s been a thing for longer than I have been here. I’ve just been seeing it again with soushin, which is was what made me want to do this in the first place. There’s another dynamic the fandom obviously does this for, but uttering it would not only get me flamed but straight up burned at the stake of bad takes so I’m saving that for a rainy day.]

Aaaaannd, I'm done, I think. I didn't have a good conclusion for this in mind. Idk, just be nice? You don't have to like "proships" (or what the fandom has defined as proship cuz that's not the actual definition), but that's what the block buttons for. Don't like, don't read, I say. Fandoms are for everyone and as long as what the person is doing is harmless, let them feel safe being themselves without having to worry about someone coming after them. Real life cops already suck. Let's not bring them into our collective escapism. And something you personally don't like ending up canon doesn't mean the game or ship is "ruined". That doesn't just go for soushin. That goes for other things too. To tie up loose ends, soushin having an age gap or being related has always been on the table and fits with other themes in the narrative. That does not count as "bad" if it makes sense. Soushin is not "Ok to ship" because it's "not an illegal ship" (whatever tf that means) and it's not "bad to ship" because it's "romanticising abuse". It's fine to ship because it's fictional. You don't need a moral justification to ship anything. That goes for all ships. That's why NOTPs exist. And "proship" doesn't and has never meant "shipping problematic pairings". It's a stance on shipping. It means being pro people being allowed to ship whatever they want. That includes being cool with problematic pairings, but is not limited to those. It means not being a fandom cop. Please stop saying otherwise, I cannot keep living this way--

Soooouuu, to end off on a more positive note and finally put this whole thing to bed I'll link some of my fav newer soushin accounts for anyone who's interested:

Hyo (orewagahai on ao3 check that out too): They are an amazing, amazing writer. If you're into dark, abusive co-dependent, complicated soushin with beautiful characterisation I would highly recommend. They just posted another soushin drabble on twitter and it's great.

jinn: They've been putting out banger after banger ever since getting into the game. Their art is absolutely stunning and they upload frequently, so go check 'em out if you can! It's actual medicine for the soul, I promise. They also draw for dead plate, so if you're into that go ahead too.

angel: Also cool. They're soushin art is hilarious and cute. As much of a sucker as I am for toxic, abusive sludge, they give thses two idiots a silliness that I enjoy. Also if you like trans!Shin content they're pretty good.

欣武 (my dumbass forgot to add them the first time sorry): They are INCREDIBLE. Extremely incredible artist. Their art is so, so freaking good. Not checking them out is absolutely your loss, ngl.

Be nice to them. If I catch anyone attempting to annoy them I'm coming after you and your entire family. Let's be better and not chase new comers off this time :3 Thanks for listening to my incoherent venting. This is mostly for me to feel a bit better, but anyone is free to read. If anyone's got an opinion or observation, feel free to offer it. I need coffee. Coffee sounds good.

[not-poignant]

Hi Pia! Do you have some advices to deal with 'this one opinion'?. When everyone likes your stuff and you are happy with it too, but this one person didn't like/said smth bad, and then you are in spiral that everyone's pretending and actually this one just had the balls to say the truth? I'm struggling and you are in this for a long time, so maybe you have some advices? Take care <3

Hi anon!

It might help to know a little bit of science here.

Humans have what's called an in-built negativity bias. This means that when two things exist, one negative, and one positive, of equal weight, humans will biologically/cognitively automatically give the negative one a lot more weight. No one escapes this, and you're experiencing something extremely universal.

Human beings are also likely to think that negative words are more negative than often intended, and that positive words are less positive than intended.

Because this is in-built, it often requires conscious work to overcome. Many authors on AO3 as an example know the experience of one shitty comment 'undoing' how good all the previous comments felt. It only takes one person saying 'I really didn't like this story' for many authors to trick themselves into thinking this a) must then be universally true and then b) no one else actually likes the story or it doesn't mean anything to them, even when there's literally words right there that strongly suggest otherwise.

The first thing is to acknowledge your negativity bias and that your brain is kind of lying to you. It's doing this to try and protect you from harm, but in a way that's actually hurting you, because brains do stuff that don't actually help us all the time. The reality is that the vast majority of people do not waste their time and 'lie' in comments about how much they like something, because everyone has more important things to do in their life. They're only going to say something positive, for the most part, if they think what they've experienced is positive enough to warrant that. This is more and more true the less well you know someone.

The second thing is to then remind yourself that something negative isn't more true just because it's negative. This is also negativity bias in action! It feels more true, but emotions =/= actual reality - they're real in that 'they are very real and valid when I feel them, but I might not want to make big decisions about other people's thoughts and actions based on them, especially when negativity bias is active.'

And then the third thing is to just remind yourself that everyone is experiencing this. Right now thousands, maybe tens of thousands of creators - artists, authors, show-writers, poets, comedians, sports people, etc. are literally experiencing this right this second. Anon, all your favourite celebrities have likely experienced this (unless they're complete asshats who don't care about other people). Your favourite writers, artists, and more have experienced this. Would you tell any of those people whose works and creations you love, to listen to the few haters that come after them? Do you think they should go 'oh, that means everyone else is lying to me.'

Of course we feel pretty down sometimes. Because I have the ability to delete negative comments, if I get some hate, I tend to delete it. I don't want to see it again. It's my prerogative because my AO3 account and my Tumblr account etc. are 'my space.' When it comes to hateful book reviews, I...don't read my book reviews anymore and haven't for a long time. (I got misgendered too often, even in the nice reviews, so I just stopped).

And then create like a document or notes page or something to write down the positive things you've heard and actually reread them sometimes.

Sometimes negative comments are actually useful. Someone pointing out an incidence of actual racism (like, unintentional, but still happening) or something that is culturally offensive in a story can help us to consider editing the story or change the way we write about that subject. Someone saying they couldn't read a story because of all the typos, might get us to use some free editing software.

For the most part negative comments aren't worth your time. You can't make everyone like your stuff anon. People are going to hate your stuff. That's reality. It's completely inescapable.

But if more people like or enjoy or love your stuff, that's how you know you're on the right track. <3

If your goals in the world are to have most people enjoy what you do, you're already achieving that. One negative comment feels like a bit of a hit (or a lot of one), but it's a cognitive bias that's quite detached from reality. When you take it really personally, it's often a sign to just disconnect and reconnect with loved ones. Talk to a friend, hang out with a loved one, watch something you really love (and even remind yourself that some people hate that thing lol and you wouldn't want those people to stop what they love doing either because it means you couldn't watch the thing you love otherwise), get some rest. Our brains lie to us more and more loudly if we a) are tired, b) are dehydrated, c) haven't been eating or eating well, d) have certain mental illnesses, e) have certain chronic illnesses that cause pain or fatigue.

So addressing all of these factors can help a bit too.

And, I hate to say it, some of it's just practice. I've been doing this for long enough I've lost count of how many hateful things I've heard about my writing. They all still hurt. Some can ruin my day. Some will make me not write that day. Some still play in the back of my mind when I'm feeling really insecure. But they used to ruin my week or month so, like, progress. *sad smile*

But they're still not the majority of the people who talk to me about my writing therefore... negativity bias in action! Very interesting to know about, very horrible to experience!!

[feelingdeath]

The last one (for a while)

I have zero drafts now, fewish followers, and this is going to be my 385th post.

I am logging off of tumblr, for a good bit. I did think about deleting my account, but i have people on here that i care about and who care about me (also i remember when @doritosaftersex deactivated his account and i felt bad). So instead ill come back in maybe a few months or years, or maybe never depends on well lol if i actually kms. Although don't worry i really doubt i have the time or energy for that. Before i go though i lowkey realised that i haven't ever spoken about like the well other side of me. The parts that i don't tumblr about. So here's this post- an Introduction and a Good-Bye.

My name's Piki, and that's me in the pfp { One of the good days}.

i like cats. (I think most people would start off like that).

M a living cliche and also a hypocrite cos i hate cliches and i literally wanna do something different, but oops =).

I have been in two relationships, second one going on right now, been over six months (and i think this is the last one because i might marry him [ totally will] and i couldn't ask for anyone more better).

I think I am an extrovert ? I don't really know. Making tumble mutuals was so hard for me i literally have only one ( @mqstermindswift ).

i like cyanide, the color and the song and the vibe. (My favourite artists are The Chainsmokers, Linkin Park, MGK, OH AND JAKEHILL [i love jake hill])

I like Italian food and will. eat. anything. that has cheese. I am kinda vegetarian though, i don't like the idea of eating an animal who probably had a family but i absolutely HATE animals as a whole (ref to point 3 about me being a hypocrite)

I hate everyone and everything, the first thing that i said to morphi and it also got me my nickname piki - which means m picky about everything.

i also love doing everything (fk m confusing). i dance, and love to cook, and i draw really well, and i can play the guitar, i learnt the violin nd the piano too a bit, i like debating a lot, and volunteering for things.

On the surface my life seems great, but then comes the well the stuff- i mean clearly it would take you a few scrolls across my blog to see how er bad it really gets but well-

I might have bpd? i am not sure.

i feel terribly lonely sometimes and also inferior to everyone around me.

my parents are not the greatest people out there. they both have done stuff that well i wont type it out here of course, but its bad.

the above thing dig this really deep pit of trust issues and well now i believe in tragedies more than hope ( morphi hates that but he'll get it once he knows)

i have tried to km, when i was younger. And if i had a penny for everytime i thought about killing myself elon musk and i would be homies.

i am really gorey, and i like horror movies and the gore and CNC and stuff.

i cant open up. too many expectations.

i get really low sometimes and i end up saying stuff or doing stuff and i don't particularly remember why or what i did, and so i poof (another thing morphi hates).

i hurt myself a lot which probably comes from point 6.

Sounds like two different people now. There is SO MUCH i haven't told about me, but if you have even like read this at all. M lowkey impressed. I am not going to go in and fix my spelling mistakes and capitalisation so go figure.

OKAY GOODBYE.

[al-hekima-madara-blog]

Twitter vs Tumblr culture 1/2

This post is inspired by @absintheanflare who write legit questions on tumblr culture radically different from twitter and tiktok

Tumblr lives through REBLOG/comments not likes as it is the case in twitter/tiktok

Coming from the twitter culture let me tell you how I end up here.

I had for 3 years a relatively big account on Twitter around 8000/9000 followers, social justice oriented, but mostly due by the fact I knew IRL some certified public figures. So people add me thinking I was "somebody" lol.

Twitter is design for promoting quick interactions, sharp answer back. It feels like watching a ping pong match. Be brief but incisive like a sniper. Literally if you are not a genius talker, if you don't master second degree, black humour you won't survive and thrive. Bad side, Twitter is as well ruthless. It's war and drama every single day. It's mean, cruel and leads often to trolling storm and harassment especially if they link with one of the worst platform internet has ever created 4chan ( may you never cross the path of those demons)

The algorithm is design to provoke drama and excitement. The more your post is like, retweet, comments, the more you're appearing on top of people's TL, creating a buzz around you. So the recipe for gaining quickly followers is easy : be as offensive as possible.

I delete my account 4 years ago. I like the thrill, the sense of humour but after a while twitter works in a closed system. People are periodically offended by the same things every 4 months, with the same arguments, a real life Izanami you can predict the end (wink to Naruto fandom). And it's also emotionally exhausting to read everyday the worst of the worst of human behaviour. Even if I learn many things about injustices around the world, it's very unhealthy in long term.

Now Tumblr. The first time I arrived here it was a cultural shock. It was so...quiet? And actually I like it(like many new people coming here I think), there is something really vintage about people taking time to write long posts, elaborate their thoughts, having extensive conversations like a never-ending river or drawing amazing work of art. But it took me a while to understand that tumblr is so... slow like in real life. In twitter and even worst with tiktok you are artificially pushed by the algorithm. but people there don't care about what you do, they care about the trend.

Here it takes time to be known and having your own space. But also it's more honest, than having half of you timeline thirsty for views and doing anything for attention. People in tumblr look for a sense of common passion and real interactions. That's why comments are so appreciated. They are often heartfelt and authentic. With time you attract people with similar mindset from all around the world. We keep the real human relationship with abolition of distance. I love receiving message from my people in the US when I wake up in the morning. Some of my posts have a pic of activity every night at 4 am😂 Europe time. It's really funny to abolish time.

Tumblr as far as I understand do not have an algorithm. It's purely organic and chronological. No one is going to push you like a baby. If what you do is good people show interest. If it's not interesting people are dead silent. It's on you to create good content. Likes is use by people for storing some posts but it doesn't have any effect on popularity. The only way to show your appreciation for your favourite artist, writer, blogger (and keep them alive in this platform) is to reblog, chat with them and if you are really shy ask them anonymous questions. So even a post who is 6 years old but still relevant won't never die (contrary to twitter where nobody remember what they tweet a month ago because being ahead of trend is more important). For me tumblr wins in term of quality.

That's it ! I hope this post help my followers to understand the culture. I'm still new myself and I'm learning slowly slowly.

Don't forget to reblog if you like it huh?👀

and also Tumblr vs Twitter part 2

[notalittlebutalottie]

hiiii its me poppin in to ask q's <3 : c, d ( pk ), i, r, u, x

🥰🥰 For you, Kait, I will answer anything (except spoilers for PK)

C: What character do you identify with most?

On TVD, probably Caroline but I think she is (ignoring post season 4/5) the most relatable to most women. She and I have a shared neuroticism, love of organisation and control. However, according to a google search, I have the same personality type as Bonnie (INFJ - though I’m more Ambivert than either I or E) which makes a lot of sense to me but they really never brought out her full potential so I think it would be hard for anyone to fully identify. In the broader world of fiction, though, I’m Lisa Simpson. My mum says it all the time and even that one test puts me as highest correlated with her.

D: Is there a song or a playlist to associate with Psychedelic Kicks?

It’s called To The Beautiful You (아름다운 그대에게) and it’s by Wonder Girls. It’s the reason this fic even exists and the last official release of my first ever K-Pop artist (I’m fine, everything is fine 😫). I made a fake playlist for it though here ✨

I: Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)?

I really enjoy just the almost moments and there’s plenty of them in PK but it’s so fun to write it like I know all the readers will be suffering but it’s just...the d r a m a

R: Are there any writers (fanfic or otherwise) you consider an influence?

@she-walked-away (Unexpected Exposure + Dirty Little Secret) @galvanizedfriend (We’ll Always Have New Orleans) @supernutellastuff (Picturesque) are definitely the most influential simply because a year ago almost to the very day, I had been considering deleting this account but reading and re-reading (in the case of she-walked-away’s stories) their fics really inspired me to return to writing. It’s crazy to think that if not for them, would I be writing right now? I went through a hiatus that was almost 2 years and I just kinda disappeared and I didn’t write more than a couple thousand words and now this year alone, I’ve written near 200,000 words. So a big thank you is in order for them ❤️

U: Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

I’m just going to gush more about the three already mentioned:

she-walked-away: This writer is just a master at making drama come to life. It never feels forced or over the top and the dialogue revolving conflict feels so natural and realistic. I have read Dirty Little Secret...too many times just because it is such an easy, enjoyable read. I can read it in one day and be like well, ok let’s go back to the beginning and start again! Unexpected Exposure, is my favourite, however. I don’t read it often but it’s because when I do, I really like to savour every single scene. I always bring it up, but there’s this scene where they’re in a club dancing with each other and the sexual chemistry is just through the freaking roof! This could be a non-KC story and I would still regard it as a favourite.

galvanizedfriend: I found this story in the tumblr tags last year. I had finished classes a month before I was set to go home so I had a lot of free time and just ended up re-reading a bunch of fics. When I finished all my usual favourites, I looked in the tumblr tags and stumbled upon We’ll Always Have New Orleans. I am such a picky reader ESPECIALLY when it comes to dialogue and tended to prefer human AUs over canon-divergent stories but this story just blew me away (and now here I am, writing a canon-divergent story). Yokan writes so beautifully and I am in awe of how much she can write in such little time with such quality. The story isn’t available any longer and I will always respect her decision to make it so but from all that I can recall, the characterisation was just wonderful. (spoilers) It honestly broke my heart when they reunite and there’s just the gut-wrenching realisation that for her it had been a day or so but for him it had been like 3 months. I CANNOT EXPRESS THE LEVEL OF GUILT I FELT VICARIOUSLY THROUGH CAROLINE. Heartbreak aside, the romance is so fucking gorgeous and well-built, never forced, always well-timed.

supernutellastuff: I, like Yokan’s story, found Picturesque when I was done re-reading my usuals and I think I found it on a klarolinemagazine list for friends with benefits. This was a story that literally had me like ????? how had I never seen this story before?????? Like I said, I’m picky as fuuuuck and I just fell into this story and it swallowed me whole. The friendships in this story really make it come to life and the first scene (spoilers) where Klaus and Caroline are smoking together, and he’s like well it’ll just be us two left - I SCREAM the chemistry was already overflowing. This story builds upon their relationship gradually and it really feels like two freaking adults in a weird entanglement. It’s not filled with random plot twists and it’s not so true to life that it becomes boring, it is just the perfect balance.

X: A character you enjoy making suffer.

There isn’t really any one character in particular (Damon cough) but I kind of enjoy making them all suffer in some way but mainly because it’s I know the reader will suffer? And if that’s not sadistic, I don’t know what is lmao

[shrimpsyrup]

tagged by @rongzhi on main @voix7 (answering on personal since main is an art blog lol)

Nickname: voxen or voi depending on where someone originally knows me lmao

Star Sign: gemini

Height: 5'4 i wish i was taller ):

Time: 22:22

Birthday: june 14th!!

Favourite Bands: houses, lights & motion, motion city soundtrack, blink 182, ajr, a day to remember, the wrecks

Favourite Solo Artists: fox stevenson, 徐梦圆 (xu mengyuan), dabin, radical face, hayd

choosing 'favorites' for music is hard lmao. i listen to a huge variety of things, mostly in yt playlists, so i don't tend to listen to a lot of the same people over and over. also for a vast majority of bands/artists i only really like specific songs...so.............

Favourite Foods: i am obsessed with cheese and bread. also tuna. i could literally eat tuna sandwiches every day into forever.

Favourite Colors: pink and brown

Last Thing I Googled: rigid / stiff-clothed

(listen...i forgot the word 'uptight'. all my brain would supply was rigid or 'stiff-clothed'. i was trying to find 'upright' in their synonyms. stiff-clothed isn't even a saying anywhere. it was driving me nuts. ...i found the word eventually.)

Last Show I Watched: Legend of Awakening!

Last Movie I Watched: uhhhhHHHH en....encanto? i think? i've watched so much drama recently i don't remember cxnmxcmnxc

Lucky Number: 7. because i'm boring and i use 7s in usernames and stuff.

When Did I Create This your main Blog?: 2014, as an art-only. this one is from ?? 2017.

Do I Have Any Other Blogs?: i have like 4(??) but the only ones currently in use are the main and this personal. there's an insp blog etc but i don't really use it anymore. also i had a couple different tumblr accounts before this one, from like 2009 and 2011. one is completely deleted, but the other one is still floating around out there!

Do I Get Asks?: basically never. i've been pretty dormant on tumblr for a couple years anyway, though i never really got many in the first place. also i'm bad at responding (:>

Why Did I Choose My URL?: good question! i don't remember. voix7 i think was nickname (voi) plus x (chosen name initial) and 7 (favorite number). that's it. xonexiv is just a mixture of voix7 and voxenbox (current main handle)

(don't ask where that one came from either, i don't know)

Blogs You Follow: 263. it's like 99.9% art/insp blogs, because this account was originally set up to be art-only in both blog and dashboard. other account was my "fun dashboard."

since i don't use my old account anymore and i'm back now, that'll probably change though lol.

Dream Trip: mmmmm......i'm kind of a hermit so i don't really think about trips much. i guess a massive road trip? i want to just like. drive(tm) and wander around. from PNW where i'm at all the way across country, maybe up into canada or down into mexico. fill that wanderlust.

Instruments: i used to play piano, flute, and trombone. real basic-like, though. i didn't go much further than middle school / early high school with them, because i was forced to choose between art classes and band classes lmao (i chose art)

Average Hours Of Sleep: average is probably like 10 hours, but it ranges from 5 to 12. consistency? don't know her.

How Many Blankets Do You Sleep With?: i just had to get up and go count. it's seven. seven whole ass blankets. i sleep with this many no matter the season. listen..it's......i make a nest, okay?

Tagging: everyone and no one (: i'm a hermit

[villnis-archive]

@themilokin sent me a million of these (and I deleted some because idk how to answer them, especially now that it’s been so long...) ages ago and I’ve been filling them out bit by bit ever since xD tumblr doesn’t like it when I do really long replies to asks apparently so you get this instead.....

A3. what abilities do they have that they’ve worked for? his family disagrees and as a result so does he but he really has done a lot of hard work when it comes to his magic. sure he got the power “for free” but if he hadn’t learned how to control and shape it properly (which he had to do all on his own, by the way) he wouldn’t be half as good as he is. he also worked for his artistic skills, most of the languages he knows, and his speed reading.

B5. how much do they weigh? I’m not gonna bother coming up with a number for you but he’s in the lower end of normal/average weight. he’s not underweight at all he’s just tall and skinny and doesn’t eat well and is generally stressed out and distracted a lot so yeah.

C2. in what position do they sleep? curled up and/or wrapped around whatever (or whoever) is in his bed, which is why he prefers to stuff it with pillows and blankets... he usually sleeps on his stomach or side while drooling. he doesn’t really drool when he’s just trancing instead of sleeping but he’s always after maximum comfort so he’ll get all cuddly anyway.

D2. how would they decorate their child’s room? bookshelves and dragons (+ other creatures!) and lots of warm colours.

E4. are they up-to-date on the internet fads? mundane au Ianry loves memes and if you thought otherwise idk what to do with you tbh. otherwise I don’t think he cares about staying up-to-date much?

F2. what is their ideal party? depends on his mood but usually something relatively small with friends (and maybe friends of friends), doing stupid shit (Fantasy Jackass!) and getting a bit drunk (but just like... pleasantly past the point of tipsy? not hammered). board games and other shit he’s good at should come into it for sure and it’s not an ideal party until at least one person he cares about calls him cool or awesome, so he’s gotta show something off (board game skills, magic or stupid shit, doesn’t matter). so, noisy and crazy and fun enough so he can completely disappear if he feels like it without anyone noticing, but not so insane that getting everyone’s attention isn’t possible.

G5. what parts of others do they envy? the ability to take it easy. Ianry’s mind is almost constantly going a mile a minute and he overanalyzes and overthinks pretty much everything all the time. if he’s not thinking and worrying about himself he’s thinking and worrying about his friends and if it’s not that then there’s always a problem and if not that then maybe his family, or strangers in the street, or something. he’s always worrying about something and making himself sick and he doesn’t know how to slow down or relax or anything, and he envies people who can just take it easy and decide to think about “something else”.

H3. do they like the snow? in theory, yes. it looks pretty, it makes everything brighter, it’s cosy... in practice it’s cold and wet and in the way and obnoxious and he doesn’t like it at all

I1. what is their sexuality? ace

I2. have they ever questioned their sexuality? not much. I think he’s always figured that regardless of sexuality everyone has different experiences anyway, so he never had a huge “I’M DIFFERENT” realization or went through questioning “why am I not like X Y Z?” etc. he had a lot of other identity crap to deal with that took priority and it’s never been a big deal to anyone, so he doesn’t think about it much at all.

J1. what makes them happy? attention. it matters who it’s from and why but literally any form of attention is still better than no attention at all (at least in theory). nothing makes him happier than having someone’s undivided attention, that’s how it’s supposed to be.

K3. if they could kill anyone without punishment, would they? who? yes, and right now? Ambrose. for two reasons: while Ianry doesn’t have much of a personal stake in what happens to Ambrose specifically, he can’t help but take it personally that the only other sorcerer he’s ever met is an asshole and a shitstain, so a lot of the resentment comes from there. that wouldn’t be enough to wanna kill him, except he had to go ahead and be a child abuser and an unethical “““scientist”““ too, which is crossing the line by a mile and then some. so yeah Ianry would very much like for Ambrose to be super dead. 

O1. are they optimistic or pessimistic? it’s pretty situational. I feel like he’s usually optimistic but then things don’t go his way for too long and it sort of “tips” over to the pessimistic side and stays there a while. usually when he gets pessimistic he gets a bit dramatic about it I think, he’s never really annoyingly optimistic but he can be such a downer once the pessimism rears its ugly head.....

P1. what is their best personality trait? Ianry cares. he cares about his interests, and his friends, and what he feels is right, he cares about holding himself accountable and being proud of himself at the end of the day, and he cares so much about all that stuff. Ianry doesn’t really do anything by halves but he cares so passionately and so deeply, it’s his best trait by far.

Q1. do they ask for help? yes, but it’s never easy. even if it’s something no one ever expects him to know or be able to do, his pride still gets hurt when he has to ask for help with something... if it’s something he should know it seriously stings when he ends up having to ask, to the point it makes him get really down on himself. asking for help dealing with emotional stuff so rarely happens it might as well not, it’s stuck deep deep in there...

S3. have they ever gotten in a fight on the streets? not really. most “fights” he’s been in like that have been sort of one-sided, he was punched and knocked down at one point and didn’t fight back, and he’s had to whip out the fire bolts a couple of times in self-defense but he’s not really the type to get into fights on the street xD

T3. is it obvious when they’re lying? it depends who he’s lying to and what he’s lying about. if he’s lying to a relative stranger about something pretty chill and inconsequential it’s probably not obvious at all, but lying to his friends or family, especially about important or difficult things, is probably pretty obvious. he’s not a great liar but he also doesn’t have any obvious tells or anything, his deception skills are probably pretty average.

U5. have they surprised people with being good at something? archery and stabbing apparently!

V4. what do they like as far as comfort goes? hugs. hugs hugs hugs hugs. he’ll rarely bring himself to ask for one (that’s cheating) but nothing quite compares to a good hug when he needs comforting. they’re simple, they’re non-verbal, they’re easy to give back and they’re unconditional, he can just exist in someone else’s embrace for a bit and not talk or do anything other than exist for a second and that’s nice.

W3. do they like to swim? yes! he used to go with his family to the beach almost every summer for the first 40-ish years of his life and once he grew out of poking jellyfish and burying his parents or older brothers in sand his favourite thing to do was swimming. and now that he’s started getting more comfortable with the Alter Self spell it’s like a whole new world!

X4. can they sing well? Ianry’s a decent singer. he’s not gonna blow anyone away but it’s fine and probably quite nice to listen to most of the time. he doesn’t do it much in front of people though, it makes him feel self-conscious and nervous which makes his singing worse and then it spirals from there. he’ll sing in a group though, like if he’s at a bar and everyone’s singing along with the bard or something he’ll go all in for sure.

Y4. do you enjoy writing them more than other characters? yeah! I mean sometimes I’m “in the zone” for different characters but 90% of the time I’m in an Ianry headspace and I love, love writing about him and writing from his POV.

Y5. what’s your favorite thing about them? idk if this is what the question is really about but my favourite thing about Ianry is that he’s like a sort of outlet for some stuff that I struggle with and sort of put over on him. it’s like I get to express some things and think it over and process my shit “outside” of myself and without any real consequences, which sometimes helps me a lot?

Z4. what’s their dream pet? the one he has, honestly. he’s always been fond of parrots, ever since his family kept one in the house for over 30 years when he was a lot younger, and Io is beautiful and clever and fun and has better fashion sense than him, she’s perfect!

[zacfaq]

PLEASE DON’T SEND ME “PASS IT ON” MESSAGES !! as sweet as some of they are they can be really annoying. i don’t check my PMs here! if you need to get ahold of me either send me an ask, or email me.

apparently necessary reminder: google exists! i’m not a know-it-all source, honestly i shouldn’t even be your second plan after google unless it’s a question specifically based on me or something relating to me

i try to avoid fandom drama as much as possible and keep a generally positive space, so please don’t come and ask me about stuff like that. thanks. 

if you want to commission me please send an email to zacharyjackbaron@gmail.com. do not email me through this address if your intentions are purely social and not work related

-what do you use to record and edit your speedpaints?

i use OBS to record, and edit in sony vegas

-what do you use to draw?

huion gt-191 and clip studio paint

-what are your pen settings?

just the default settings. all my custom stuff/things i’ve downloaded from CSP assets are just things i think look neat but probably never end up using. 

-a blog called papersans is claiming to be you! are they a thief?

that’s literally me, i use it to archive my art so i can find stuff easier without having to hunt through my tag. also available for people who just want to see my art n not my other posts

-when is your birthday?

february 6th!

-what is your sexuality?

gay. i like men.

-how long does it take you to draw?

idk like. awhile? sometimes 45 minutes sometimes four hours sometimes a week. 

-can i draw you/your ocs?

of course! pls show me after it would make me very happy !!!!! 

-favourite band/singer/musician?

i don’t know a damn thing about myself here’s a spotify playlist

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0Zk5o5g7nMnGt0vrJVEcDq?si=7cd248a0b64046ee

-will you do art for cheap/free?

nah. art is currently the only job/income i have, if ur interested in commissioning me you can either find my prices on like, any of my pages, but if not ur more than welcome to email me @ zacharyjackbaron@gmail.com and i can give you prices there !! -(venting or something involving abuse, suicidal thoughts, self harm, bullying, eating disorders, or other similar things in real life situations. even in fiction i’m iffy.)

i hate to sound rude or not be of help, but please don’t send these messages to me. they send me into horrible anxiety  for several personal reasons. if you’re having such negative thoughts i implore you to speak to someone you trust without an anonymous mask, or do your best to seek help from a professional. i have my own things to worry about and as much as i’d like to help, i simply can’t.

-(asking for advice that isn’t related to art)

i would love to help but i’m not an ~all knowing source~. i can’t give you tips for school. i can’t give you tips for life. not only will i probably not know a solution for you but there’s likely a chance i’m in just as bad a situation as you/going through the same problem, as silent as i am about my personal life. also don’t use ‘asking for advice’ as an excuse to vent about things or to send me a paragraph describing in depth something listed above/that’s potentially triggering. thank you.

even if you’re looking fr art tips i’m not a great source i’m still learning, ur best bet is looking for already existing sources and reading through those bc i don’t preach the word of Art God. i’m also awful at explaining things

-why didn’t you answer my ask?

Main reason is i’m just really really bad at socializing, so it’s not anything on u. i’m almost always low on energy and when i do talk to people it wears me out really quick. i’m also just. not gr8 at talking in general so if i can’t think of a reply i tend to just leave things n then end up forgetting about them

-how do you draw [blank]?

honestly my art style is such a fucked up thing that’s so personalized to my own use i can’t do or make tutorials. the best i can do is direct you to my youtube.

-can we do an art trade?

sorry, i’ll have to say no. i’m not necessarily busy but i get stressed very easily, so i try to keep my art to either personal stuff or work ! if you would like art from me, please considering commissioning me! mutuals and friends may be the exceptions here if they catch me at a good time or we make plans well ahead to do smth when we’re both free to work on stuff

-can we be friends?

please don’t ask this. i’m awful enough at socialization as is and i just don’t fit well with most personality types. not to mention this is just overall a bad question. it backs the person being asked into a corner where they either have to say “yes” and end up in a friendship that actually isn’t working out and is maybe only good for one side bc they’re getting any and all of the benefits, and if they say “no” they look like a total dick bag and come across as an ass. don’t ask this question. it’s not how socializing works. it’s not how friendships work. thanks. -can you tag [blank]? unfortunately i’ve been a real bad place in terms of memory so i can’t tag tons and tons of things. i try and tag more general/basic things but i’m sorry i’ll have to pass on specifics. if i post or reblog things that trigger u or harm you it might be best to unfollow for ur own safety!! very sorry

if it’s specific words you’d like tagged please consider blacklisting the word itself. 

-how tall are you?

i’m 5'11".

-can you promo me?

i’d rather not, doesn’t sit well with me. if you have a commission post you want me to reblog i’m happy to! but i won’t just do text based handouts, y’know? not a fan of being used for visibility for no reason, and chances are if i do it for one person it’ll happen with hundreds of others and i don’t want my blog to turn into a free advertisement zone that just floods peoples’ feeds with promotions.

-you reblogged something from someone extremely problematic/unsafe

thank you for letting me know! tell me what it is they did, even better offer proof on it. i’ll likely delete the post and blacklist their url to hopefully prevent their name popping up on my blog in the future. i won’t publish these asks mostly to avoid discourse or in the event false information is provided. sorta just safety precaution i guess

-you’ve done something bad

again, thank you for letting me know! if i post or say something questionable please feel free to message me and i’ll try my best to address the issue and adjust accordingly. i’m aiming to grow as a person so critique is welcome, both on me and my artwork. don’t just come up and call me an asshole or a prick or something, actually point out the errors and explain why they’re wrong so i can better understand and it doesn’t just turn into a defensive round of who’s worse, because i tend to be a very defensive person.

-i think someone is stealing/reposting your art!

thank you very much for telling me! don’t message them right off the bat, come to me first and i will deal with it. i’ve dealt with this shit tons of times and it’s tiring as fuck but i’d rather repeat the same stupid civil message over and over again than start a giant calamity over something and end up with someone getting hurt. if you do get involved please stay polite about it don’t throw insults just a simple “hey this art was done by princeofmints/tv-headache/zachary jack/dirtypip/(etc my other account names) and he doesn’t want his art reposted, please take this down or add proper credit.”

-can i use your art as an icon?

sure man. only on places like instagram, tumblr, or twitter though, and proper credit in an easy to see place must be given. if a piece of art is of my ocs or especially vent art though never use it for icons. thank you.

-can i repost your art?

the answer is “no” but i know you’re going to do it anyways. easy to see credit is mandatory. if you see somebody reposting my art please let me know and i’ll talk to them. if you want to use my art in things like image edits, i don’t allow that. want to use my art in a video? if it’s something like an AMV sure fine just credit me and inform me beforehand, if it’s something like a cringe/comparison video. no. i don’t want any association with work like that whatsoever. you may not use my artwork for fanfic covers.

-can i colour/finish one of your sketches?

no. even if you don’t intend on posting it. 

-what is [insert some form of media/fandom]

https://www.google.ca/

-why do you have an entirely separate blog for your FAQ? you know you can make blog pages, right?

i’m well aware of that and originally my faq WAS set up on a blog page, but unfortunately many folks proved to be either lazy or just couldn’t figure out how to get to a blog page on mobile so i had to set it up this way for accessibility purposes.

-tons of your videos are gone, what happened to them? will they come back? can you repost them?

i set old videos on private for my own sake, i don’t like having my old content available bc it just looks old and stale and i don’t like it. there’s nothing deep about it, i just don’t want people interacting with my old stuff. as deep is it gets is i just deleted videos related to fandoms i’m sick of bc the association is fuckin annoying. these videos will not come back into public. i do keep them posted for my own reflection sake, but that’s it. don’t ask me to bring them back. don’t whine about me not putting shit back out just bc ur a little sad n gonna cry. guilting people is gross, reevaluate yourself.

if you want a song from an old video, just ask me! I’ll happily let you know what the music is in case u liked ‘em and can’t remember the titles or artists. i’ve also got a playlist full of the music i listen to so u can comb through there n see if the songs u want are there

[trvelyans-archive]

get to know me game

i was tagged by @kirnet and @gorotakemura thank you icons !!! i will tag... @baodurs @rosykims @montliyets and whoever else wants to do this :D

why did you choose your url?

trevelyan is my fave dai origin !!! and now it’s my Brand...... maia trvelyans.... it would feel weird to change it. i feel weird typing out Trevelyan the way it should be i’m like. there’s one too many e’s 

any side-blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them.

my sideblog is @ezrataylors purely bc i felt like my main blog was turning into an oc-centric blog as opposed to a video game-centric blog. i thought i might regret making a sideblog but i don’t !!! i’m glad i made it

how long have you been on tumblr?

been on the site since 2013 (when i was 13 and in the animal crossing community <3) but this account has only been around since 2017 !

do you have a queue tag?

bold of you to assume i queue or tag things

why did you start your blog in the first place?

because i like. Dragoned   age....

why did you choose your icon/pfp?

well i am deep in twd/twdg hell right now and clem is a girlboss so <3

why did you choose your header?

i don’t have a header !!! i don’t rlly like them for some reason ??? on my blog at least !!!

what’s your post with the most notes?

for posts in general it’s this post and for fics it’s this post which i hate a lot and see in my notes a couple times a week and wish i could delete every reblog of it ever i think it’s Very bad but <3 alas

how many followers do you have?

1540 !!! i usually gain a couple and lose a couple every week so i’ve been stuck at this number for a while !!!

how many people do you follow?

400 as of rn !!!

have you ever made a shitpost?

i think so ?

how often do you use tumblr every day?

no one psychoanalyze me over this but i basically constantly have tumblr open. idk it can be comforting to feel like i’m being Social when i’m not rlly. plus all of my good friends are on tumblr so

did you have a fight/argument with a blog once?

hmmmmmm..................... no ! i don’t like confrontation so slkfjdslf

how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this post’?

depends what the post says !!! i reblog most rlly important posts i see tho

do you like tag games?

yes !!! i usually don’t do them very often bc i’m embarrassed about speaking and saying things and being perceived but. i like picrews :)

do you like ask games?

yes !!! i would love to do more non-oc ones like. about Me. but i’m too shy and feel like no one would send any in so sdkfjdslfds. but i love oc ones too !!! :D

which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

i have a few cog/if writers following me which is rlly cool and also rlly embarrassing considering the shit i post. also my favourite artist literally of all time follows me. i don’t know why. it’s very confusing. i’m honoured tho ! but concerned that they see This and still keep following. ALSO SOME OF MY MUTUALS HAVE LIKE. i’m pretty sure a couple of you guys have like 10k+ which is wild why are you people here. i’m baby

do you have a crush on a mutual?

i’ve had.................... 3 or 4 i think. none rn tho !!!!!!