#literally me if I continuously make bad decisions and fuck ppl over

[starzalign]

Hulu will suffer for a thousand years because they canceled ‘High Fidelity’ idc if “there was nothing more to write” come up with it

[ultrvmonogamy]

hey bestie! just dropping by to say that i love your blog and anytime we’ve interacted you’ve been very kind. i don’t understand the weird judgy/preachy anons that you get. i wonder if they don’t understand how to utilize the block button for content they don’t like. anywaysssss, i think you’re a lovely person who makes good content. i hope you’re having a good week and you don’t let uninformed anons get to you. tell your cat i said pspspsps! 🖤

tysm bestie. i'm v pleased to know u feel that way 🩵

sometimes i'm an asshole, n more frequently than that i can be short w ppl (sometimes even when i don't intend to). i'm far from perfect, n i've been even further from it n def have my share of shit i can look back at n wish i'd handled better (nothing so atrocious as implied here), but the only reason i can look back n feel that way is bc i continuously strive to grow n learn n become more aware. like, i grew up in a time w very different social norms, no access to information that couldn't be found in the local library or experienced firsthand if within biking distance, n was raised by parents from an entirely different culture than where i grew up. we've all got our challenges, but my point is that in many ways my process will have necessarily looked a lot different than it does for a massive amt of the active tumblr base. i'm sure many others here around my age or older or w v different backgrounds from the "average" blogger feel similarly. blah blah but yeah thank u sincerely.

i understand the anons to a point, but it's rly fucking tiresome bc i've talked many times on various iterations of this blog abt problems w age gap relationships, i've answered questions abt how young/old i'd date in great length, most of the women i've dated were roughly the same age as me or older, i was a minor the only times i've had anything approaching sexual contact w a minor (n even then i was the younger partner although not by much), i've pushed ppl away for being too young for me even though they were adults, n i've never pushed someone away for being too old for me, n blah blah barf wtv.

also, ngl, a lot of fucking ppl here r simply ageist, but still i understand the v real threat n the fact that sometimes it's simply a lot smarter to write someone off rather than to give them the benefit of the doubt when the stakes r too high to risk it. however, i wholeheartedly feel like the ppl who come for me here r coming for exactly the wrong person, bc i'm literally over here saying stuff that a massive portion of the population would find reprehensible, n i'm doing it of my own volition. i've talked many times abt my own ongoing effort to integrate the most potentially dangerous n fucked up parts of myself (most of which were put on me n many of which r a result of my v own past bad decisions) into smth healthier n worthwhile. if ppl don't wanna believe that, well, that's not a me problem. unfortunately, however, ppl can still cause v real damage n make it my problem simply by making accusations or mischaracterizing interactions or attributing motivations that don't/didn't/never will exist etc. i wish they'd turn the attention they're giving me to ppl actually out there motivated by a desire for the gross shit instead of coming for someone who isn't motivated by that gross shit n consistently strives to take ownership of his actual shit, but i can't exactly expect anyone to be able to see in the dark.

okay, i'm shutting up abt all this now, but thank u again. my week is going well so far, n i've conveyed ur regards to the silly fuzzball currently purring at my side 🩵

[trickstarbrave]

Hello! I am here to inform you that I would happily read a 10 page essay about Alduin's Bane. Spoilers are a highlight. Your Elder Scrolls lore is incredible and I am frothing at the mouth for more.

oh man now i have decision paralysis i have so much to talk about given the fic is over 150k (somehow. i cant believe i wrote that much) uhhhhhh im just gonna give some bullet points of what i can think of

>originally was going to just be a oneshot centered around the past that would have been the first 3-ish chapters but i liked it so much i had continued it

>hell i had debated actually naming eyja or not for a while lol

>originally fengr wasn't going to be in the story, but i actually liked him the more i thought about him. he is supposed to be the archtypical box art "dragonborn" bethesda markets (except two handed weapons instead of dual wielding). i thought he made a good foil and could help drive some of the character development and give eyja more to connect her to the world and also because i wanted to use him as a foil for another character

>i did intend for sheogorath to be the champion of cyrodiil. not everyone agrees with this theory but i liked it. i also hope i did a better job making the quest more interesting. i was really proud of connecting the weird, seemingly disjointed dream world quests to our main character's psyche and problems rather than being just a cheap joke

>i also LOVE sanguine if you couldn't tell. writing him was some of my favorite stuff. genuine chaos and debauchery. he technically had the right idea

>i had a big plan in mind for a side plot where The Gang currently (fengr, serana, eyja, alduin) run into cicero and the listener who were tasked with assassinating the dragonborn and instead ask for their help to take down astrid who they know is planning on turning on them. this was going to lead to a full blown assassination of the current emperor, but for the life of me i couldn't think of a satisfactory way to connect the plot to the rest of the story without feeling like i was forcing a block through a circular hole so it has been indefinitely tabled. if it makes it back in the story then it does but so far i'm not planning on it. but if you're wondering what happened to our dear little jester he is off helping rebuild the dark brotherhood with his wood elf listener

>in my fic to be mentioned later alduin actually got so angry he ripped off solstheim as a provide from mainland skyrim and flung it off into the ocean during a big ass battle

>i remember some ppl saying alduin could be akin to shiva. whether or not you like this idea or think it is credible i was a lil inspired by the myths of sati and parvati in the loosest of ways

>im still very proud that i made bleakfalls barrow originally designed and built to be eyja's tomb. in functions VERY much as a tutorial dungeon in many aspects with like blatant plot hooks in the form of the dragon stone and word wall that we just dont see in other tombs. not to mention it is very large and in your face, something you expect to be of bigger importance, and delphine wanted the dragon stone for some unexplained reason, so. head dragon priest's tomb it is. but alduin wouldn't actually let her be buried there, which only lead to credence to the mainstream belief that konahrik had defected or betrayed alduin and he had killed her in a rage.

>how she got the mask i just realized i never explained. basically my bullshit reason was she owns the mask. the mask was sealed off to wait for a new owner if one ever came, and then was lost to time. dragon priests arent really supposed to "die" in my telling of events so she got the mask by wandering in and it opened up for her assuming she was the original owner here to claim it. it does not do this for literally anyone else

>alduin kind of fucking sucked at sex. i hint at this in several ways but in their first lifetime he just fucking sucked at it. i cannot fully stress how just bad and clumsy he was. this immortal dragon god of the end of time was a complete virgin and it showed. if it wasn't for the fact he was a god she adored i dont think eyja would have put up with it. but luckily she taught him better.

>they were together i estimate in the ballpark of 60 years prior to her being killed. a very fun time for the people of skyrim given alduin wasnt randomly flying overhead to munch on them

>i wanna work more on serana and alduin's dynamic bc i think it is very funny. she's gotten over her panic into just normal rational fear and questioning her sanity of "wait the actual dragon god??? thats who im traveling with????"

>as far as dragon priests knew it was an open secret eyja and alduin were fucking. the general public didnt know but most of the priests knew. and most of the dragons but they were more confused by the concept of actually having sex which seemed weird in general

actual big spoilers under the cut for people who dont wanna see:

>fengr is, in the next little mini arc we're about to do with curing lycanthrope, about to be revealed as also a dragonborn. i like to imagine that was akatosh's back up plan or something. i wont reveal all of what the revelation entails to keep that fun and exciting

>also to be mentioned: molag bal has beef with alduin and eyja because her mask is actually made of daedric ivory. alduin went "i need a cooler material for her mask to be made out of" and went all the way to a realm of oblivion to kill one of molag bal's big ass daedra. this has lead to much of molag bal's beef with dragons

>several members of the thalmor were investigating the masks (this is canon) and took a particular interest in both eyja's and the time traveling unnamed mask. this wooden mask alduin had made in hopes it could bring eyja back (it failed)

>back to the sati and parvati myths uhhhh part of that has translated to miraak and his motivations. i hope you didn't have "miraak is past life eyja's ex" on your bingo card because you will not be able to check that off. miraak was her father.

>in that regard i had to think a lot about how having kids would be handled by dragon priests. i dont see miraak actually raising any children he had, and he probably had a variety of concubines and wives to sleep with as i imagine most of the other dragon priests did, but no time to actually get attached. so she probably only had some status and little interactions with him prior to this, but boy was miraak mad he couldnt just use her influence for his own gain. idk if i will get to mention all this part in my fic lol

>finding out one of his kids actually inherited his abilities led him down the path to trying to understand what dragonborn were. he thought he was a strange, special existence, but finding out there were more people like him made him wanna find out how they worked. this also invariably led to him experimenting on several of eyja's multitude of half siblings that died prior to him getting his hands on her. also prob wont get to mention all this in the fic

>in this vein i had the idea to make vahlok eyja's other parent but i didn't think it did much for the story so. i might go in the way of "helpful mentor" or just that he didnt fucking suck

[propshophannah]

umm i think ppl are over reacting,, az was not being toxic or possesive, he's been pining for elain for 3 years and he now knows she feels the same way for him,, and to the ppl that said that him being turned on was creepy,, wait till we see elains pov bc im pretty sure she was thinking the same. pls it's okay to not like scenes and characters and ships but cmon,, some eluciens are butchering him

Hi Nonnie! I heard that the fandom was getting crazy so I’ve been avoiding looking at posts and stuff. If Az came off creepy it wasn’t because he was turned on. LMFAO. Elain was turned on, too. SHE ALSO INITIATED THE ENTIRE SCENE! We don’t even need her POV to tell us what she wanted either—Maas straight up tells us this in that scene. LOL to everyone who skipped that part and those lines. I mean… it wasn’t even subtext. It was literally written on the page. (I’m writing an analysis of that scene, stay tuned!)

If he came off creepy, it was because he articulated a sense in entitlement—which given the situation wasn’t entirely out of line! Sorry, it just wasn’t. 

And here’s why: We’ve all had moments where we are so fucking mad—and everything around us seemed to be going in everyone else’s favor BUT ours—so we got angry. And vengeful. And we got a little lost in those feelings, some of us drowned in them, and we did things and said things and we came off like a fucking asshole. FACTS.

If some people think that’s never happened to them, then they’re either lying to themselves or not paying attention to themselves. It’s as simple as that, Nonnie. 

We all do dumb, potentially toxic things when we’re mad or upset. That’s the law of the land and not one single person in the fandom, or the world, is above that. Not. One. 

And LETS. BE. REAL. Elain is NOT above reproach for the role she *actively* plays in this cluster fuck. She is just as guilty of stringing Lucien and Az along in that she hasn’t made a decision on whether to accept or reject the mating bond. Or in just saying “Look, Lucy, babe, I don’t like this. It’s stressing me out. Please leave me alone for the next 2.5 years or until I say ‘when’ before you come around again. Thanks!” She doesn’t even need to say it to Lucien. THAT’S THE KICKER. She could tell Feyre. Tell one of the Shadows to tell Feyre or Rhys or Mor and Nesta OR ANYONE with the power to say “Hey, we can’t invite Lucy to Solstice because Elain doesn’t want it.” This is a situation where getting other people to play the bad guy for you, is 100% socially acceptable. 

Hell, LUCIEN could be the one to initiate this. To pick up on what Elain IS NOT THROWING OUT and say, “Hey, Rhys, babe. Thanks for the Solstice invite, but I don’t think Elain appreciates my presence, and I don’t want to make her uncomfortable. How about I send you her gift from me, then I, like, check in every now and then and you can find a way to let her know I’m in town and if you invite me to dinner, I’ll take that as a sign that she’s okay with me being there for dinner and nothing more. No expectations.” It’s not hard. 

(We could argue that Lucien continuing to come around IS JUST AS WEIRD/CREEPY. READ THE ROOM DUDE.)

Now I WILL say that there is an argument to be made that Elain *may* not grasp the gravity of a mating bond because she was born in a different culture. That’s totally fair. BUT she’s had plenty of time to learn what that means having spent so much time around Feyre and Rhys and the others. 

So the idea that Azriel is the only one who deserves to be vilified is nonsensical. 

ALSO, and this is something I will be including in the analysis I’m working on and will hopefully finish tomorrow (I’m going to break that Az POV down so that everyone and their third cousin, twice removed, can understand), is that AZRIEL’S WHOLE SHTICK IS WAITING.  He looooves to wait. Fucking LOVES it. It’s his whole job y’all. It’s weird, and related to his daddy issues when you apply it to females, but it’s his life. He LITERALLY tells us this in ACOSF. Remember at the end when Cassian is complaining about how he HATES spying because he has no patience? 

Az is like “It seems you’ve forgotten how much of spying is waiting for the right moment. People don’t engage in their evil deeds when it’s convenient to you.” 

Cassian explains why he stopped spying because it “...bored him to death. I don’t know how you put up with this all the time.” 

Az says, “It suits me.”

 BOOM.

BOOM.

BOOM.

MF BOOOOOM.

Az likes to play the long game. Not saying it’s healthy, but that suits him. He’s good at waiting. He HAD TO BE. HE WAS LOCKED AWAY FOR YEARS AND HAD TO WAIT FOR THE CHANCE TO SEE HIS MOTHER. And the sun. And his hateful brothers. He doesn’t know any better/how else to be. And there is a lot of trauma and conflicting feelings tangled in this. 

It’s only creepy when you fail to grasp the nuance. But if you stand too close to a painting, you can’t see the whole thing. Back up, people. Back up.

Az has spent his whole life waiting. It’s how he learned to be. And now that his brothers are all happily mated he’s looking back on all his waiting—on his entire life—and he’s having a crisis. Or a crisis is looming. What has his waiting gotten him? Why has his patience not been rewarded? Why not him?

You combine that thinking with anger and you’ve got a recipe for momentary entitlement. For rage so thick and consuming that you want to punch a wall and work yourself to death because at least when you’re working you can compartmentalize and not deal with the reality that YOUR ENTIRE LIFE MODEL hasn’t worked for you. That you got left behind somewhere and it was your fault.

Az is headed for a mid-life crisis or an emotional breakdown—or some big horrific moment where he realizes he can’t keep doing what he’s been doing, that his entire world is built on a foundation that’s crumbling. And if you’ve never ever had that happen to you, then I’m jealous. And I’m happy for you. Because it’s terrifying. Bloody awful fucking terrifying.

[spiderstyles04]

COBRA KAI SN 3 SPOILERS

Episode 1:

Can’t stand the fact that they’re trying to make Sam the victim, fuck the white bitch 😤. (okay yeah she’s kinda the victim but like she deserves to be blamed)

I can’t stand the fact that everybody keeps trying to make Robby the villain (ik he’s MIA, but the words they’re calling him make me wanna punt their asses into oblivion 🧎🏽‍♂️🏌️)

Episode 2:

Kreese is actually fucking sadistic wtf.

fuck men (esp. those that prey on young girls).

cops @ the prison rlly said: “I aint see nothin at all -👄-“.

wow so you can definitely see who is Johnny’s priority! Instead of continuing to look for his missing son, he went to go see Miguel🖕🏻.

and Miguel is like boohoo why’d this happen to me it’s all Johnny’s fault. Uh no it’s partially yours for accelerating the fight. Shouldn’t have gotten in the middle of a fight if you wanted to come out unharmed.

Robby blaming himself for everything and worry abt the others before himself is making me cry my eyes out pls 😭😖.

Daniel fucking Larusso rlly said let’s catch this scared teenage boy off guard and have a cop sneak up on him and arrest him

Episode 3:

I hate that Robby is in jail but he looks hot af

Not the LaRussos blaming Robby’s grudge on him being a teenage. Like you literally had a cop sneak up on a terrified kid and you expect him to take your calls???? I think tf not.

Sksks Sam rlly out here acting like Tory got angry outta nowhere and that she had no reason for being brutal. Yeah having a bad background doesn’t justify bullying but you kinda provoked her. YOU KISSED ANOTHER GIRL’S BOYFRIEND WHILE YOU HAD ONE OF YOUR OWN. SUCK IT UP AND SHUT UP LIL BABY.

Not Robby fighting with guys in prison over their comments abt Sam of all ppl 💀 she’s the reason you’re in there and she cheated, what the fuck are you defending her for?

sad puppy Robby is making me tear up shit I love him too much to see him in pain 😖

God I hate Eli. Imagine being jealous of not being able to creative enough to raise money for your friend so you resort to stealing the money from the only ones able to get money for him 💀.

“Douche clown” BAHAHA.

NOT JOHNNY MISSING OUT ON SEEING ROBBY BC HE WAS WITH MIGUEL HE COULD’VE CALLED AND LET HIM KNOW FUCK JOHNNY

Episode 4:

NOT JOHNNY ASSUMING THAT ROBBY IS THE ONE STARTING FIGHTS (reminds me of Jess and Rory from Gilmore Girls when she accused him of fighting with Dean when rlly he just got attacked by a bird)

I love that Robby is telling Johnny off like PERIODT KING GO OFF

Nah if some idiot wrecked my lego diagram that took me weeks to build, I’d knock him on his ass no hesitation. Idgaf if I got expelled

Not the counselor completely disregarding the fact that Dimitri’s project was wrecked

Every time Johnny enters Robby’s life, he just makes shit harder for him. I feel horrible for my bby

Kreese has a god complex & I wanna put him in the ground ����👨🏻‍🦽👩🏽‍🦯

Little miss princess got some anger issues oop

Not Johnny making a paralyzed kid get out of bed 💀

THOSE KIDS IN JUVIE BOUTA FEEL MY WRATH MFRS DISRESPECTING ROBBY MAKE ME WANNA SKSKSJSB

KREESE BETTER BACK THE EVERLOVING FUCK AWAY FROM MY BBY ROBBY I WILL NOT HESITATE TO RECREATE A CRIMINAL MINDS EPISODE WITH YOUR BODY GRANDPA DONT TEST ME

Episode 5:

Robby basically telling Kreese to fuck off and tell talk to “somebody who gives a shit” is everything to me I love him

Not Johnny using a sex magazine to motivate Miguel 🤢

If Robby gets back with Sam I will RIOT

Imagine taking pleasure from terrorizing others and children sksksk couldn’t be me

Damn it Robby you shouldn’t be fighting. It’s only gonna make your sentence worse bby. Ik he’s an asshole, but you gotta be the bigger man

The fight in the lazer tag place I- not even gonna comment

YAY MIGUEL GOT SOME MOVEMENT BACK IN HIS LEGS

POP OFF MRS. LARUSSO YOU PUT KREESE IN HIS PLACE

Episode 6:

I’m glad Eli is abt to get the vibe check he deserves

Miguel rlly should choose what he says more wisely like sir you can’t just tell the angry mentally unstable girl that she needs help sksksksk those are words of war to her

Oh Mrs. LaRusso getting in on the action lmao

Episode 7:

Damn Tory rlly wakes up every day and chooses violence uh it was a dream nvm

There’s no fooking way Miguel recovered from a spinal injury so quickly 🙄 also why’d they throw away the wheelchair??? That shit is expensive af

Imagine having a dad that actually feels genuinely bad for not keep up with your life SKSK couldn’t be me

I haven’t seen Robby in a hot minute and I’m getting pissed abt it.

I love when ppl tell Eli off. Gives me a diff kind of joy

tf is Eagle Fang sksksks

@ Kreese: Bye bitch 🥴

Episode 8:

THE DIFFERENCE BTWN THE THREE DOJOS IS SO FUNNY BAHAHAHAH

I cant believe they’re dicusssing Kreese when they’re abt to pick up Robby I- none of these men are fit to be stable father figured to him

Glad Robby told them to fuck off bc when the going gets tough, unfortunately, they will always choose someone else over Robby

But I’m all here for Miguel’s character development. Looks like soon I’ll have a total of 2 characters that I like on this show

NOT ROBBY DEFENDING SAM FOR CHEATING AND CALLING IT A MISTAKE PLS YOU ARE SO NAIVE SHUT UP SHES A STUPID GIRL WHO THINKS SHE CAN GET AWAY WITH EVERYTHING PLS OPEN YOUR EYES

Eyyy go off Miguel preach

Nvm fuck that. I’m glad Robby walked in on Miguel and Sam flirting so he could see she isn’t all she’s cracked up to be. I’m glad he’s telling them off. I just hate that they’re making him out to be a villain, AGAIN UGH

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO IF ONLY YALL COULD HEAR MY SCREAM OF ANGUISH WHEN ROBBY WALKED THROUGH THE DOORS OF COBRA KAI BABY NO YOURE THE GOOD GUY DONT GO WITH THE FUCKING PSYCHOTIC ASSHAT PLEASE

Episode 9:

Fuck fuck fuck I’m terrified for this episode

MERRY CHRISTMAS 🎄

oh shit Ali...

Trouble is in the air....

Miguel and Sam 🙄😀

Oh so Robby is back in his sn 1 wardrobe... 🤬

OH I SWEAR FOR FUCKS SAKE IF TORY AND ROBBY GET TOGETHER I WILL STOP WATCHING THIS SHOW FOR GOOD ISTG

PERIODT ROBBY DENY THE BEER A WISE DECISION

Not you making bad decisions again Robby smh we’re trying to keep you out of jail

I repeat... if Robby and Tory get together I am RIOTING

Fuck Johnny

Episode 10 - final episode:

I am the quintessential example of seething anger. If I was an anime character, I’d have steam coming out of my ears and a tic mark on my forehead smh

BAHAHAH DANIEL’S GLACES TO JOHNNY ARE SENDING ME

Tory has got some anger issues that surpass even my own, and that’s saying something

Also why tf are they fighting in Sam’s house??? Like I don’t like her but thats not only trespassing passing on private property, but the damages they’re causing are gonna cost a buttload

I’m just glad that Robby isn’t there to fight. Thank you bby

I LOVE THE MUSIC IN THE FIGHT SCENE WE LOVE SOME ROCK CHRISTMAS INSTRUMENTALS

I love the fact that Eli is realizing how fucking stupid he’s been acting

NO ROBBY DONT FIGHT JOHNNY YOU DONT KNOW THE FULL PICTURE BABY STOP BEING FUCKING DUMB

NO JOHNNY THREW ROBBY INTO THE LOCKERS FUCK IS HE OKAY IS BABY OKAY

DONT EVEN THINK ABOUT IT KREESE DONT PICK IT UP YOU GERIATRIC ASSWIPE

NO ROBBY IS FULLY UNCONSCIOUS FUCK IF I WAS THERE I WOULD BE ABLE TO HELP BC IM FIRST AID TRAINED AND CPR CERTIFIED CALL 911 JOHNNY

YAY DANIEL TO THE RESCUE

I’m still crying over Robby fuck

Everybody over here hashing shit out and Robby is inside the dojo like X👄X

NVM HES OKAY HES WALKING IT OFF

NO GO BACK TO FUCKING SLEEP BITCH BC YOURE STILL NOT THINKING STRAIGHT WHY ARE YOU STILL WITH KREESE GOD FUCKING DAMN IT

Anyways all in all, fuck season 3 gn

[dragimal]

now that s5 is over and I’m starting to wind down from the high of the finale, I think I can finally grasp *exactly* why I have mixed feelings on s5. to be clear, I absolutely ADORE TMA as a whole, and still consider it one of the best pieces of horror media I’ve consumed. but s5 left me feeling... not bad, but off, even when there’s plenty I still rly like abt s5

it mainly comes down to 2 things for me: 1) the severe tone shift, and 2) Martin being Fucking Weird for a lot of the season

a lot of ppl have talked abt how s5 just wasn’t as scary as the previous seasons for various reasons. one kinda inevitable reason was simply that a lot of the mystery of the horror had been revealed at that point, and a monster is never as scary once you can see it clearly. but I think the bigger reason is that the format shifted from horror anthology to.... sociology anthology. like, every statement of s5 felt like a sociology paper on fear and systemic abuse, rather than something meant to chill the reader

this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, honestly-- like I said, much of the mystery had been revealed, so I think it was an understandable move to try to shift the narrative somehow. also, I love sociology papers! I think they’re interesting to read, and s5 gave us some rly creative frameworks for some of them (the poetic carousel, Oliver’s professional assessment, Jared’s garden--)

however, I do think the tone shift was still a bit jarring, esp considering what the audience was used to up to that point. perhaps that’s an appropriate move, to match a plot point as game-changing as the literal apocalypse. BUT that doesn’t mean the tone shift still wasn’t a bit of a let-down, in terms of horror and tension

like, yeah a lot of the mystery was gone, but Hill Top Road ended up being the big mystery of s5... and we weren’t even fully aware of it til almost the end of the season? sure, there was plenty of fan speculation, but we were also considering SO many other possibilities, Hill Top was never rly a core theory until VERY late in the game. like, the mystery seemed to take a backseat to the sociology papers, if that makes sense, lmao

literally the ONE episode to give me chills down my spine like the good ol’ days pre-s5 was MAG196: This Old House. Annabelle vaguely threatening Martin, and ending on, “You have no idea who’s listening, do you?” fucking SUPERB, I was absolutely DELIGHTED by the possibilities of that one line! like, what did it mean? were we gonna go full meta??

but the last few eps after that were... frankly kind of a letdown from that spike of tension? I think those last eps are what rly cinched this idea for me-- that s5 was literally like reading a sociology paper. it rly all was just, arguing about the possibilities, considering the consequences, and making decisions. which, again, isn’t necessarily bad, but it’s not horror-- it’s a thought exercise with an apocalyptic garnish

EDIT-- I forgot to say, I think this is part of why MAG200 simply didn’t hit me the same way it hit others. it was intellectually satisfying-- it tied up loose ends, closed character arcs/relationships, left some delicious ambiguity-- but not emotionally cathartic, if that makes sense? like, I was expecting to cry, but I didn’t even rly get teary? I was grinning and delighted by all the satisfying conclusions, but I didn’t feel that emotional RELEASE that I was expecting and hoping for

as for jonmartin, I want to be clear here. I am NOT one of those ppl that thinks jonmartin came out of nowhere in s4-- I think the buildup pre-s5 was excellent, and their finally being together at the end of s4 was so so earned and rewarding. I’m also NOT one of those ppl that thinks arguments = abuse. I think when I briefly criticized jonmartin in s5 in the past, ppl got this impression that like, I think that jonmartin miscommunicating and having bad coping mechanisms... means that they’re bad for each other and abusing each other? and that’s just not the case?? 

I admit that my initial response to some of the jonmartin weirdness may have been a bit harsh, but even at the time I still loved jonmartin and was simply looking at their relationship with a critical but loving lens

what I have a problem with is that Martin pulls just as much bullshit as Jon in s5, and NEVER gets called out for it

this post I made a while back gets more into the details that bother me, but essentially, there’s always been this rly uneven “accountability scale” (idk what else to call it) for Jon vs. a lot of other characters-- in that, Jon always gets called out for his bullshit, while a lot of other characters don’t. now a lot of this is perfectly explainable as Jon being the main character, so we simply see his fuck-ups AND the subsequent consequences more often than any other character. and there are plenty of characters that I absolutely do NOT blame for going a bit overboard (I give Melanie and Tim in particular a ton of leeway here, given their respective situations. they more or less have full rights to bully Jon imo)

but, the problem is, there are also a LOT of moments where other characters say something absolutely horrific to Jon (namely Basira and Georgie in s4), like imply that he’s responsible for problems he had absolutely no control over, or fucking blame him for literally being groomed into an Archivist by people/powers he couldn’t even grasp... and those accusations are just left to sit and fester in Jon, completely uncontested

the nice thing abt s5 is that most of this is addressed-- like Basira’s completely unfair double-standards for “monsters”, and Georgie unknowingly blaming Jon for his trauma, etc.-- in very satisfying ways.

.... except for Martin.

without rehashing that linked post too much, Martin’s main problem in s5 is that his go-to response to trauma is denial. he denies the fact that he wants to kill avatars for his own satisfaction (which is a completely reasonable desire on its own tbqh!), and instead continues to lie to himself (for quite a long time) that killing avatars is actually helping anyone but Jon and Martin. he denies that Jon’s become a real full-fledged “monster”, and refuses to acknowledge all the baggage that comes with that

this denial unintentionally projects a lot of rly fucked-up messages at Jon, like: Jon is now a freaky horrorshow (even when he’s doing something completely innocuous, like talking casually about his powers); Jon’s fears over losing his autonomy/identity to the Eye, and his fears over his proven abilities to hurt others, are invalid; monsters inherently deserve to die, despite Jon technically being one; Jon not being able to use his powers “well enough” is some failure on his part

now, none of this is to say Martin’s characterization on its own is a bad thing-- I actually think it could’ve been interesting! it’s a perfectly reasonable trauma response, it tracks for Martin’s character pre-s5, and could have been a rly interesting perspective to explore.... if it was ever actually challenged by the narrative or other characters

I think the closest we got was Martin’s conversation with himself in his own domain, when his double calls him out for fantasizing a happy ending where Jonah is dead and Jon and Martin kiss (OUGH.... JONNY YOU HURT ME..), but that still never rly addresses the hurt that Martin’s denial causes Jon

and god, I was rly holding out-- Martin seemed to chill out on the denial a lot after the first third of the season, and I was hoping it might go a similar route as Basira, where it would just take a while to rly address Martin’s issues. but then Jon and Martin have their argument in MAG194, and I was fully on Martin’s side of it, UNTIL he said, “You weren’t meant to enjoy it this much!” (in reference to Jon killing avatars), and when Jon calls him out, Martin just brushes over it! 

BOY when I tell you I went BALLISTIC.... FUCK YOU Martin, YOU’RE the one that went all Kill Bill and PUSHED Jon to feel the same way!! JESUS. like I get that that wasn’t the core of the argument there, but oh my god that one bit...

and once again, to make myself perfectly fucking crystal clear here, this is coming from someone who relates heavily to both Jon and Martin. I can see exactly where Martin is coming from for many of his decisions, and the trauma that’s led him to mentally protect himself like this. so it only makes me more frustrated to see him refuse to face his own issues, while still (understandably) expecting Jon to face his issues. yes, Jon pulls a LOT of bullshit in s5 that he deserves to be called out for (and called out he is!), but accountability goes both ways, Martin! you can’t demand responsible behavior from others if you’re not willing to extend the same courtesy!

[spnshameblog]

you know i gotta say its very fun spinning all these conspiracy theories about lines that were cut, about rewrites, about last minute edits etc, but its literally just that to me. a little fun to distract me from the fact that i am allowed to be angry.

this show is incredibly good at gaslighting. it has been for years. they wrote, shot and edited all these moments and scenes KNOWING how fans would interpret them and still acted like they were crazy for connecting the dots.

and now that they gave us “what we wanted” in the worst way possible, we are made to feel like we’re entitled or greedy for expecting better. we quite literally were told “you got what you wanted”, when that is not remotely true. how the fuck is a tragic love confession in the 3rd to last episode, after which the confessor dies and the confession is never mentioned again “what we wanted”? how am i crazy for watching this incredibly emotional scene and expecting literally any sort of follow-up? how am i entitled for expecting them to have the story progress in a logical way? am i supposed to believe that this is normal? am i supposed to believe that you dont need a resolution to this big of a set-up? how the fuck am i delusional for thinking it makes no sense to not follow up on a love confession and the death of a major character?

i have no idea who makes these decisions. i have no idea who ultimately decided how this was going to play out. but someone sat down and decided they were going to give us a onesided confession that was never going to get mentioned again. and, as i said, we can put our heads together and speculate about the secret good finale that never was, but here is the thing: i firmly believe that finale never existed.

i’m convinced this was all planned out from the start and the confession was literal bait to get as many people as possible to watch the finale. they knew there was a huge amount of “former fans” still listening with one ear and they knew they’d get us with this and it worked lmao! their plan literally succeeded. we made it trend immediately and have not calmed down since! gay people are the best kind of pr machine lol!

so they kill castiel, knowing full well that nobody believes he is actually dead when supernatural has a history of bringing ppl back from the dead and just to keep everyone hooked they have fucking lucifer imitate castiel on the phone and we get dean demanding he be brought back. just to keep people thinking that something else HAS to be coming, bc why else bring it up right?? If we were supposed to just accept that casteil was nt going to appear again, why not.... end the conversation instead of LITERALLY DANGLING THE OPTION OF BRINGING HIM BACK IN FRONT OF OUR FACES.

and now that the biggest amount of viewers possible has been conned into watching the finale they can really just do whatever. i mean the show is over anyways, why the fuck should they continue pandering to the gays lol, its not like they need us to keep the show alive anymore. and maybe if the make the finale as bro-ey and devoid of romance as possible they can get the “normal” fans to follow jared into his new show, idk.

they literally went right back to gaslighting after 15x19. the stupid pre-finale thing was mainly to establish the fact that the show is and always has been about the brothers and their car. they rushed through a few of the other characters, but carefully didnt give castiel any special treatment, he was just a random minor character after all lol oh and they didnt even mention eileen hhhhh. all to have something to fall back on in case anyone really expected them to do something more with the ~thing~ they set up in 15x18. its really your own fault for expecting more, after all the show was only ever about the two brothers, look, you can see it quite clearly in the special pre-finale episode we made. we tried as hard as possible to fit the word “brother” in there as many times as possible, just to drive it home.

in short: no, i dont believe tptb EVER intended to give us a satisfying ending to the destiel set up and think the confession was the definition of queerbait. dont let them manipulate you into believing you are asking for too much when you expect the trail of crumbs lying in front of you to lead somewhere.

for the record: i dont know whom to blame for this mess, the only people i’m not side-eying are the actors and writers of 15x18. I thought the scene was beautifully written and acted and i know they edited out a lot of dean’s reactions to tone his side of the scene down. I dont blame misha, jensen and bobo and i think it was meaningful for each one of them, but i also kind of hate them for making me care about a show that has no respect for me.

(also this post is specifically about the destiel stuff, i didnt even touch on eileen, blurry wife, the fact that deanshould have retired and should not have died a hunter and the other instance of bury your gays in the last three episodes. oh and the fact that the finale was bad just from a neutral storytelling viewpoint. like wtf, we start off way too light hearted, we spend way too much time on them doing their daily routines and then the pie festival wtf?? the idiotic choice of having rando vampires as your final monsters that end up killing one of the main characters who literally defeated god last ep? john is in dean’s heaven?? cas is alive and just chose not to contact dean?? and then we have to watch a speedrun of sam’s life and death like??? this episode was just objectively bad.)

[normal-thoughts-official]

Oooh yeah the first time I was playing as a female mc because I wanted to romance ava and I usually go male mc if I want to romance a man and female mc if I want to romance a woman (and I think there was one book with where mc could be non-binary so I picked that one but I didn't finished the book), and Stacy's brother felt Hetero™ in a way, like Hollywood ish (? Honestly like cinematographicly bad hetero) but I ended up really loving Andy too, and Stacy felt a little flat but also I really liked her potential, like go crazy girl, and the mom issues.

Apart but holy shit you're 10000% right about that teacher like who inmediately threatens expulsion just like that for something not violent ??? And to an honor student with way too much on his plate ??? Obviously it would have been bad with any student, but you have literally the reason of why he's doing it and as a teacher HE LITERALLY COULD HAVE HELPED WITH IT ??????? Like something teachers can't really help students because it's a family thing only or is a financial struggle or etc but it was literally because of school (and his family, but the teacher could have heloed him with the school part)

(Identity thief anon (also I go by any pronouns ahhshs))

ur valid! that's lowkey what i wish i'd do (picking female MC if my fave LI is female and the other way around, i mean) but unfortunately i always go into the stories blindly having no idea what i'll find </3 so i cant really do that doiajdiosa and then i get attached for the MC i picked so i feel bad about changing their gender/name/appearance when i replay. so what i usually do is that i pick a male MC when i get the option because A- u don't always get the option, so i end up being male half the time and female half the time either way; and B- i feel slightly more comfortable with a male identity than a female one. like i'm still nonbinary and i wouldn't consider myself male aligned or within the gender of Man, but like... when i first came out i went by any pronouns but then because im afab everyone was like "cool, she/her only it is" so i was like fuck that and stopped using she/her. so i feel slightly more comfortable with a masc MC and end up going with that

there's also the fact that it always feels slightly genderfucky to have a male MC because choices is so sexist and also always writes the stories assuming ull pick a female MC, even when they give u the option not to. so when u pick a male MC he's very like not toxically masc and some things they add to make a QuiRkY MC that are very white woman and would feel annoying are actually kind of subversive for my black and brown male MCs. so like another win for queerness /j

ILITW MC in particular i feel has HUGE nonbinary vibes like no reason at all he just does <3 maybe it's just that for once the male clothes for ILITW actually fUCK. i wanna dress in that goth outfit <3 so gorgeous ugh. i love him even tho he's a fucking dumbass

also there's a book where an MC can be enby? worm? ive only ever read one book in choices with any enby characters at all (america's most elligible, books 2-3) but they weren't even a LI which is disappointing cuz they were a billion times superior to any of the LIs. sorry america's most elligible LIs fans

also oh connor IS the epitome of white cistraight man even when u play as a man tbh, like he was just so cistraight to me daouhdsaojdasij he kind of annoys me but also i forget that he even exists until he shows up onscreen and choices starts trying to push me into his lap and i'm just like, ugh, not again

and yeah i think i feel a similar way about stacy. i don't dislike her as a character and i don't feel like she as a character felt flat, her growth was very interesting and i loved seeing her start to challenge her mom like YESSS GO GIRL GIVE US EVERYTHING, she just felt flat as a LI to me ig? like idk i didn't feel chemistry between her and my MC personally, but also like, stacy girls are valid u know

right exactly. like i don't think ppl really understand that a school that doesn't drive people to cry during finals week and feel absolutely crushed by having to be there and that makes ppl feel like they're stupid, not enough, and overwhelmed IS IN FACT POSSIBLE and actually pretty easy to make when we stop treating students like statistics that will get the school more clients/funding (depending on whether it's a private or public school). and like as a teacher getting my degree in brasil it just feels completely surreal to me that anyone would see a student who's so overwhelmed by the amount of extracurriculars and responsibilities he feels like he has to take that he starts taking drugs to help his performance despite it affecting his health, and see that as like... something morally reprehensible? like it is bad that it happened but it's not the student's fault, what's morally reprehensible are the circumstances that led to his decision, not his decision

and like it is very much a systemic problem, more and more kids are taking focus pills to be able to survive the pressure of school and have a shot at a future, either on their own or because we are actually medicalizing not existing to be productive. and if it's a systemic problem then the fault is at the system?? and like holy shit i legit don't understand why choices gave us options like being like "it still isn't enough" when lucas gets rid of his pills, what do you mean it isn't enough??? enough for what??? to FORGIVE him???? for something that only hurt himself??? for something that is very much a systemic problem and therefore NOT HIS FAULT????? literally what the fuck even is this, lucas doesn't have to "make up" for a single thing, he needs to be HELPED is what he needs

like idk i know that the school system in the US is...... extremely backwards lmao which is not a term i like to use because it usually implies imperialistic views but the US is the height of world imperialism so like actually idc. brasil has a pretty progressive constitution and as a teacher my whole education was focused on being critical of the school system, particularly the productivity obsession, and drilling into us again and again that we aren't supposed to just be teaching subjects, we are also supposed to be teaching how to be a citizen, be a critical human being, work towards building a better future, and learning and growing AS A PERSON to be healthy and happy are values of the school system

like that's easier said than done when schools are under insane amounts of pressure by companies in practice to be productivity-driven, and most teachers who actually want to do a good job end up having to live at the edge of the knife and constantly fighting back outside pressure, but at least it is very much a mandatory part of our education to become teachers and also like literally part of the constitution. so i just... i can't fathom reacting the way mr cooper did? like as a teacher i felt BETRAYED, i felt like he shat all over my profession because that is the opposite of what we should be doing, this is a kid who needs help

and just like hOLY SHIT HE DID NOTHING WRONG, what are you punishing him for??? it's not even a like, stealing bread to feed your family situation, because what he did HAS NO VICTIM OTHER THAN HIMSELF, and therefore HE IS THE VICTIM NOT THE CULPRIT. he doesn't have to repent or atone or answer for a single fucking thing, he didn't victimize others, he doesn't have to apologize, there's nothing to punish him fOR??? like i don't believe in punishment anyway cuz im a prison abolitionist but doDAUSDJADASIJDAS???????????? HE DIDN'T. HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG. WHY IS THIS WHOLE GAME ACTING AS IF HE WAS IN THE WRONG. OH MY GOD

it's like saying that someone needs to be forgiven for self harming????? like how is it that someone has been hurt continuously until it led them to hurt themselves and then they have to? make up for it to a bunch of other ppl? my god it makes me so mad and i genuinely don't understand the logic, like usually when i see someone doing fucked up shit i can see the logic but i don't agree with it, but this time i genuinely DON'T SEE THE LOGIC. my USan friends said it was because he was technically doing drugs but like i legit still don't understand

anyway any school that drives a student to do something like that needs to rethink their entire curriculum and the psychological effect it's having on kids, because lucas is 1- not even the first one according to mr cooper; 2- even if he was, that'd be the only one who got CAUGHT; and 3- even if there was really only one singular student who went tHIS far, i doubt the others weren't feeling that same pressure and dealing with it in other similarly unhealthy ways

i know that's probably easier in brasil than in the US even if it's by no means easy here because here at least in public schools the curriculum and political-pedagogical plan has to be agreed on by the school community (teachers, parents, students, workers, and anyone who lives in the area of the school) and it's updated every year, so like, you have more means to do something to change the school in a deeper way, altho of course that still has to mean swinging the rest of the community, but still. but at the very least he could have looked for counseling for him? tried to find a way to take some of the workload off his shoulders? given him some more time on assignments? motioning for all the clubs he was the president of to have co-presidents so he was less overwhelmed?

like there was just daodsao he could have done so many things and he justs DIDN'T he chose to not only punish him instead but quite literally THREATEN HIM WITH DEATH because that's what calling the police on a latino student over a drug charge is. like he might've survived but the possibility that he would fucking DIE was very much there, and i know choices didn't think of that because they'd rather die than think about the racial implications of anything but holy fucking shit. and im not even getting into how mr cooper is BLACK because then ill just start biting people like thanks for putting that threat on a black character's mouth choices. if u need me ill be foaming at the mouth

anyway SORRY god why is it that i always get to the salty part within 2 seconds of joining a fandom i promise that i actually like it lives and the way they handled most of their plot, i genuinely think it's a very well written and actually worth ur time story but i just doadosaida like i said particularly as a teacher in the context where i'm being taught, plus with all my political beliefs, i just can't let it go aaaa

also ty for telling me ur pronouns! idk if i assumed them at any time, i don't think so but i might have done so without realizing and if i did im really sorry. also sorry for the gigantic salty reply daojdsaojdaisjsajdoadsaodasj rip me i never shut up

[gcnnerpaxton]

bri again making a terrible decision. do i need a fourth? no.......... bt here we are anyway. after this i promise im done fr a while bt :/ i lov this lil bitch so here we are........ give this a like if u wld b Down to Clown w him aka plot!

「axel auriant & cismale」⇾ paxton , gunner, the senior radcliffe student’s records show that he is a leo and 22 years old. he is studying film, living off campus and can be loyal, resilient, anxious & indifferent. when i see him i am reminded of curling up in bed for days in a hello kitty comfort shirt, the click of a camera shutter & hand-me-down’s two sizes too big.

pinterest is HERE.

TW’S FOR ABUSE, VIOLENCE, MISSING CHILD, KIDNAPPING, DEPRESSION, ANXIETY, AND INTERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA BELOW!

stats.

name: gunner brick paxton.

age: twenty-two.

gender identity: cis-male.

pronouns: he/him.

sexuality: demisexual.

birthday: july 31, 1998.

star sign: leo.

myers-briggs: istj.

year of study: senior.

major: film.

occupation: librarian.

place of birth: laramie, wyoming.

religion: catholic (non-practicing).

background.

neen jst brought in gunner’s older brother so fr those who read elias’ bio u kno tht gunner is the middle paxton child w eli being the oldest n then they have wyatt who is the youngest!!

they lived at the top of a hill in a trailer in a trailer park neighbourhood in laramie, wyoming so to say the least that fucking sucked for everyone involved

the trailer was so small that all 3 boys ended up sharing a room, gunner and wyatt sharing a bunk bed bc they cldnt fit 3 beds into one room it really was every childs nightmare bt they quickly grew used to it tbh

gunner was always more of an artsy child than invested in sports - though he does enjoy baseball and continued even to this day after their dad made him join SOMETHING in middle school - so he never rly earned their father’s respect, but he was always close with his mom since they had the same calm temperament

DEPRESSION/ANXIETY TW - he also gained a list of mental health issues that their mom had as well, including social anxiety and major depressive disorder - DEPRESSION/ANXIETY TW END

VIOLENCE/ABUSE TW - their father always encouraged pretty volatile behaviour and it caused a lot of physical fights and arguments between the brothers when their dad told them the best way to get over it was to start hurting until someone tapped out, it was just a chaotic and pretty abusive household but no one knew and their mom definitely wasn’t going to say anything about it to their dad - VIOLENCE/ABUSE TW END

MISSING CHILD/KIDNAPPING TW - wyatt went missing on a weekend that their parents were gone because of a trip they won, and things just got worse from there

ANXIETY/DEPRESSION TW - high school was really rough for gunner, his anxiety grew worse as time went on that no one found wyatt, their dad grew more hostile towards them, and their mom just grew sicker, it was rare that she would ever leave her room and if she did it was in fits of random energy where she would do something spontaneous and completely unnecessary to their house as a way of coping - MISSING CHILD/KIDNAPPING/ANXIETY/DEPRESSION TW END

the two years that gunner was at home after elias finally left for school were basically torture and as soon as he could, he was falling his brother’s footsteps in getting out of wyoming to go to school at radcliffe

INTERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA TW -  things are far better now that they’re out of their home situation, but gunner’s going through some more things personally now; the paxton’s were raised in an incredibly religious household, and he’s got some classic Catholic Guilt going on upon realizing that he’s not jst attracted to women n he avoided talking abt it forever/stayed in the closet fr far too long bt he’s sort of come out now in his own way even tho he does still get a bit nervous talking abt it rly - INTERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA TW END

he’s also ‘dealing’ rn which is frankly funny to think abt bc this man is abt as threatening as a care bear bt money is tight between him and eli all things considering, and with the amount of meds he’s on, plus incredibly frequent doctor’s visits, needing to pay for extra epi-pens, inhalers, etcs. bills add up so he’s cutting back his meds n selling wht he can spare which is . so unhealthy bt thts life in corporate america baybee!

details.

is literally allergic to everything. grass, cats, most fruits, milk, most nuts, bees, latex, probably more i cnt even keep up w them its pathetic

u can catch him n eli strutting around campus w matching epipen holders tht he got them fr eli’s 16th bday JKSDNGKLHSDGLK

if things cldnt get worse he also has quite intense asthma so he carries an inhaler with him at all times

n to make matters even WORSE he frequently has dizzy spells n bad memory problems bc of all the concussions he’s suffered from (about 8-9 at this point) as well as consistent migraines that can b literally debilitating sometimes

awkward n jst a bit of a Weirdo to b frank like if it weren’t fr eli he wld probably have one (1) friend he jst cnt converse w ppl

didnt have any friends in high school so took the time to teach himself rly weird things, knows a fuck ton of magic tricks, can yodel, juggle, solve a rubix cube with his eyes closed in under 2 minutes, just extremely weird and specific things

can honestly b a bit mean/barbaric to ppl he’s not close w/doesn’t kno has told ppl to their face before he doesn’t enjoy talking to them bc he has no concept of social constructs/norms

loves 2 film random things at parties, makes him feel more comfortable at them n he makes short films of them all after

update about his summer away: ended up heading to nyc fr a film internship n actually had a rly good time??? fr once?? jst had a rly nice summer fling after being a bit heartbroken throughout the school year it was jst a rly necessary n fulfilling summer fr him king of getting wht he finally deserves

this also led him to b like . oh maybe i’m Not broken bc he doesn’t realize........... demisexuality is a thing n wld get rly awkward during hookups a lot if hes jst not 100% comfortable w the person so now he thinks hes like a one man machine who actually has some Self Esteem n thinks he can have Sexual Relations all day every day (he cannot)

connections.

ppl who buy off him?? probs wld have to kno him some way hes too scared to sell to Random randoms KJSHDGKLHSDLG

other film majors :-)

some friends………. hes awkward bt he means well…………

a mans he wld Risk It All fr (aka a guy tht gunner actually has a crush on n is Extra Awkward probs a lil mean to bc hes still New to That)

ppl he has a crush on/unrequited crushes either way wtvr floats ur boat

some enemies tbh much like elias he has a temper n he tends to blow up rarely bt it happens n when it does it actually can b quite scary JKSHDGLHSDG

a muse….. mayhaps?? someone he always wants in his film projects

awkward past hook ups maybe some current ones teehee

anything Ur Heart Desires

[snkpolls]

SnK Chapter 124 Poll Results

The chapter 124 poll closed with 2,065 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

This month’s poll team: @erensjaegerbombs @momtaku, _Puppet_ ,  @shifter-lines and @ladymoe6​

  RATE THE CHAPTER 1,926 Responses

Fours and fives still dominate but there’s no denying that this chapter lacked the hype we’ve seen recently. “Thaw” had the lowest number of 5’s this year, performing similarly to the Zeke-centric flashback chapter in 114, “Sole Salvation”. (There’s a pun to made here about us “warming up to Thaw” but sadly I am not smart enough to make it.)

The Chapter of Necessary Filler & the Obligatory Cliffhanger

I love that Isayama isn't rushing everything and is actually focusing on little details and small interactions between characters. He really isn't glorifying an "apocalyptical scenario" just for the sake of destruction in itself or shock value.

This chapter felt like a nostalgia trip, but I wasn't in for the ride.

This chapter was a breath of fresh air ngl. These past chapters were mostly full of either a flashback, monologue or just having two characters talking in a realm where nothing happens and time is frozen, but, at last, the plot is moving foward in the real world too. Not only it contained long gone titan action, but also great character development/moments as well. I missed this.

The leaks didn't give this chapter justice

A weaker chapter overall, I hope all this buildup will be well spent in the next chapter.

I actually loved everything about this chapter, I can't believe Isayama finally gave me a reason to kind of like Gabi. I'm sure she'll do something to immediately change that…

Isayama-sensei is the best, each chapter is a 10/10 for me. I do agree that this chapter is not as great as as the last 5, but it's still great. This year is impossible to choose the Top 5 Best Chapters of SNK

It was good, but I was hoping for a crazier year closure.

  WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING WAS YOUR FAVORITE MOMENT?

1,995 Responses

There were many great moments in this chapter, but Annie’s highly anticipated return to the active plot takes up the largest amount of votes! Other notable moments were: Shadis taking command, Armin realizing Annie’s crystal must have unhardened, the 104th discussing Eren, and Jean’s salty reaction to Floch’s continued survival.

A N N I E is BAAAAAAACK!!!

as someone too invested in the gabi-nicolo-braus plot thread by i love sasha i am absolutely Fed with that excellent "get out of the forest" talk. thank u for the good food nicolo

It's great to see the other 104th members discuss about Eren's actions. At least we got a glimpse on what they think about Eren's plan.

For once I'm gonna forgive Isayama for putting off Levi and Hange. I FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE ANNIE BACK ON MY BIRTH MONTH!!! BEST PRESENT EVER

I like the parallels to Trost, especially the part with the thunder spears sort of mirroring the thing with the guns and the elevator from S1

  WHO WAS THIS CHAPTERS MVP? 1,988 Responses

Despite the influx of negative commentary, 38.2% of respondents agree that Gabi’s persistence to save Falco and reconciliation with Kaya earned her the MVP title this month. The strongest contenders were Shadis and Jean.

Annie saved this chapter from the Gabi / Kaya focus

Connie- the underrated suffer boi

Gabi best girl!

I am proud of Jean for taking charge, he acted like a real commander.

Reiner Best character 😔👌

SHADIS IS THE MVP AND I LOVE HIM

  WHICH CHARACTER WERE YOU MOST DISAPPOINTED WITH? 1,998 Responses

“None of the above” was a popular suggestion (25.2%) but Connie edged that choice out by a percentage point (26.3%) . At least you guys listen when the evening news says that stealing children is bad.

Silly of you to ask us which character we're most disappointed with. We're always disappointed with Floch in every panel he shows up in

it's good to have a connie development, but I was a little sad about his attitude

I'm not so much disappointed with Connie in this moment as I am with the direction his character arc has gone lately in general. I miss when he was fun instead of angry all the time.

I think everyone is acting super irrational. Eren is going to destroy the world but all the SC are "accepting" of it. I think deep down they are all horrified and in a completely insane mental state causing irrational decisions and thoughts such as Jean being okay with genocide.

I understand that Connie is desperate to find a comfort after all the ppl he lost, but I'm still extremely disappointed in him for wanting to murder a child. Not just Connie tho, the same goes for Jean and Armin. Armin didn't say "Let's not kill a freaking child" he just objected because he didn't want to provoke Reiner and Pieck.

  WHAT DID YOU THINK OF REINER’S ROLE THIS CHAPTER? 1,889 Responses

Reiner takes a back seat this chapter, and just barely over half of the fandom believe he deserves that nap after all he’s been through.  Another quarter, at 25.8% are wishing he could just die at this point, for better or worse.

"Enough already. Just sleep." - Reiner to Eren in 117

Can Reiner pick an opinion and stick with it for .2 seconds. he's like hardcore ready to kick ass and then immediately turns around and is ready to die again

Game over man

He's cute. End of the story.

I think it was bizarre that Gabi just let him fall asleep and left him in an enemy territory where he could be captured or eaten by a mindless titan

I understand him being tired an all, but sleeping in the middle of a warzone and at the start of the apocalypse???

Helos needs his rest and good dreams of Bert

I think it is set up for his future death : saving Falco by being eaten by Connie's mom (he was there with Connie in Ragako village)

Madlad goes to sleep instead of dying

Man literally too tired to die

There were certainly worse ways than "passed out from exhaustion" that he could've been written out of the chapter. At least we know his current status this way, unlike a certain duo...

He need some milk

Reiner votes for “Can’t he just die already?”

  WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE EREN PARALLEL IN GABI AT THE MIRROR? 1,869 Responses

Gabi’s design is based on Eren, and she’s had similarities and parallels to him in the past, what does the parallel in this chapter mean stacked on top of all of that?  About 70% say it’s to further emphasize how similar she is to him at her core.  12.7% don’t think it was an intentional parallel to that Eren scene, 7.7% say she’s going to receive his titan, and a solid 1% wrote in the eloquent thesis of “Fuck Gabi.”

A bit too on the nose

Both have the common factor of determination and the desire to fight to save someone else. "Fight, fight" = "Like I'd give up" In Eren's case, his scene in the mirror is portrayed in a darker, more aggressive environment, he must fight to save his loved ones, but for this goal he must destroy everything. On the other hand, Gabi shows a more heroic/pure attitude, the light is predominant, and his words refer to the desire to fight to save Falco without taking this violence path unlike Ere

Eren cant copyright this hairstyle

How dare she stand where he stood.

I didn't like any parallels that include Gabi. Not this one, and most certainly not the one with Sasha.

It definitely foreshadows something, but I don't think it's that she'll inherit his titan. I think she's going to be the one to end this madness and break the cycle. Unlike Eren, who fights for freedom both for himself and his loved ones, Gabi will fight for peace and equality: a different kind of freedom.

It symbolizes Gabi's character arc starting to go in the opposite direction of Eren, rather than showing them being similar.

It symbolizes Gabi's change in motivation to do anything to save her friends. Just as Eren's motivation in the mirror scene really marked the moment he turned genocidal to protect his friends.

  DO YOU AGREE WITH JEAN’S CONCLUSION THAT EREN IS DOING WHAT HE’S DOING TO PROTECT THOSE HE LOVES? 1,950 Responses

Jean believes he’s figured out why Eren’s doing what he’s doing, does the fandom agree?  The large majority think that’s at least a part of it, as 40.8% think it’s solely that goal in mind, and another 53.5% believe it stemmed from that desire but has evolved and become more complex.  3.3% of fans don’t believe that’s where his motivation stems from at all.

But if that's his goal it still doesn't explain chapter 112

EREN is doing it to protect his friends. YMIR wants vengeance and bloodshed.

I agree, because I really don’t know what else could have been done. The Eldians were hated all over the world and Talk-No-Justu is a folly.

I don't know what to think. At first, Jean seems to be in denial (like most of the 104th), but perhaps it's his way of realizing things. No, Eren must love them a lot, there's absolutely no way that his genocide is unjustified. Right...? Wait…

I think he's being pragmatic and analytical. Like a real leader. Something I expected from Armin. However Armin has strokes of genius during critical times so I'm expecting something.

In a breaking bad way, yes

Yes, although I believe Eren's old and complex relationship with the idea of freedom also plays a big part in this situation.

No, because he isn't doing anything about the mindless titans and treated his friends like trash. I didn't see any kind of concern while they were in danger. I think he's more eager to set his ideals into action.

  WHAT DO YOU THINK WAS THE CORRECT RESPONSE TO WHAT TO DO WITH FALCO? 1,958 Responses

Another serumbowl type discussion arises, yay!!...?  The vast majority, at a combined 81.4% don’t want to feed Falco to anyone, and just want to wrap him up and not start any more conflict.  11.6% think he should be fed to a known titan such as Pixis, and only 4.3% side with Connie’s reaction of feeding him to his own Mama Springer.

Falco is too important. He and Connie will probably have an arc.

Feed him to Floch, jaw titan always dies stupidly and Floch never dies so it should cancel out

Feed him to Levi that way we get jaw Levi and his hand back.

Feed Zeke to Connie's mom instead and take Falco somewhere safe

I don’t have anything against Falco personally, but it makes since to feed him to someone else

I like Falco, but Connie has lost far more than anyone outside the Walls. If feeding Falco to Connie's mom gives Connie some semblance of peace, so be it

NILE !

In a perfect world Connie can have the satisfaction of feeding ZEKE to his mother. Kinda proud that I predicted the “Connie tried to revive his mom” plot point but I think the fact that it’s falco means that Connie fails

There's no right answer here, but I can't imagine any mother would be able to live with the fact that she ate someone else's child in order to live again, so that's probably the worst option.

Well, logically speaking, Falco should probably be fed to Pixis. But my heart calls out for me to wrap him in a blanket.

  WHAT DID YOU THINK OF CONNIE SEEMINGLY SNAPPING ON THE OTHERS AND INSISTING FALCO BE FED TO HIS MOTHER? 1,947 Responses

Understanding prevaled with close to 80% of the fandom selecting “I don’t agree with his actions but I wholeheartedly sympathize with his reasoning”. Only 13% indicated that they were disappointed with him.

Falco's a kid, man! You don't cross that line!

Connie, if your mom needs a kidney transplant, you don't just shank another person to steal their kidneys. Just saying.

Connie has been pushed to his limit. He needs a nap and a minute to cry.

Although Connie is not thinking clearly, I'm glad they're not blindly hating on him like some have been doing for Eren.

Connie's break is truly amazing to me. The guy was always so good and chill and dedicated before these hard times. To see him at his breaking point, horrified by everything that is happening and overwhelmed by the situation, and thus reverting into single-minded dedication to one fundamental goal - saving his mother. It's tragic to see him like this and it's probably not the best "logical" action, but it makes complete sense that he'd do this. He's sick of this clusterfuck. He has a ticket to save his mom and he's gonna take it. Poor Falco though, of course.

I didn't see it coming, but it's not like it's unthinkable. When the world collapses we often want to run back to our mama.

I disagreed with him, but I thinks his feelings are understandable and, also, I liked a lot that he pointed out 104's hypocrisy. The serum drama is coming back to bite their asses.

I understand he wants to see his mom again but does he really want to give her the cruel fate of becoming a titan shifter?

I understand his reasoning, but this is literally the WORST possible time to cause an internal crisis

I'm sad for him & deeply uncomfortable by it.

I’m mad at Connie only because he straight up abandoned his duty to pacify the Titan situation.  He left Jean, Mikasa, and Armin to take care of it without him. Lucky Shadis was there to help.

  REGARDLESS OF YOUR VIEWS ON CONNIE’S ACTIONS, HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT HIM FINALLY GETTING SOME TIME IN THE SPOTLIGHT? 1,946 Responses

More than half the fandom was happy to see him speak his mind and get some character development (53.3%). 16% were absolutely thrilled. Those who don’t care, and those whose disappointment over how he returned soured the moment came in at 10%... I’m willing to bet at least one of those votes is because he doesn’t have a new hair style.

Going to the dark side doesn't suit the former sunshine called Connie.

My man has been in the story since the beginning. He is well overdue for an arc.

A surprise to be sure, but a welcome one.

But why FALCO? He's the ONLY character outside the Walls I actually LIKE!

Finally we get to see him say something about his mother. Yeah, maybe he's not one of the most important charcters overall, but what he lived through when he saw his mom on that roof finally deserves some thoughts and emotions. Connie was on the margin of the story for way too long, and I'm happy we get to see him talk about how he feels.

Glad he’s doing stuff but he’s 100% going to die

I haven't really liked his development. He's, altho understandably, just an angry dude that can't help himself from getting overcome by his emotions. Not a good look.

I really liked his whole "Eren's crossed the line", now he's making the same mistake. A bitter irony, but does Isayama have time for that?

I'm really disappointed in Connie's "friends" for basically telling him to "chill out, you can't save your mother because we need to make our enemies happy". Hell no to that, I completely sympathize with Connie far more than his "friends" especially since Armin is being the world's biggest hypocrite

It's good because it now opens up the possibility of Connie finally getting his revenge on Zeke

My Boi Connie deserves his own plot-line, so I'm really excited

  TITAN ACTION! BUT OF THE PURE AND AVERAGE VARIETY INSTEAD OF COLOSSALS, WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THAT AS THE FOCUS OF THE CHAPTER? 1,936 Responses

A chapter in the endgame that’s almost reminiscent of the defense of Trost with respect to mindless titan action and defending a base.  Despite many other happenings such as the rumbling going on currently, 46% were totally fine with the focus on mindless titan action and thought it was written well, whereas 35.6% enjoyed it, but wished there was a bit more beyond checking that box.  10.8% wanted a larger focus on the titans in the rumbling, and 5.5% would have preferred a focus shift away from Shiganshina entirely.

I love the fact that shows how prepared and easy fighting mindless titans is for them now. When the titans attacked Trost they were hopeless and Jean was the one frozen in fear. Now we get to see him clear up the titans with ease.

I think showing smaller happenings before the big reveal of Eren's titan and the effects of the rumbling are important buildup.

I would have rather focused on what's happening to Pieck and the others near the wall.

I didn't feel that was the focus, but either way, I liked it.

I wish more would’ve happened outside of it BUT it’s important to show them being dealt with otherwise readers would be like “wait, what about all those people who turned into titans?” So not the best, but necessary.

I'm not crazy about fighting scenes, I prefer the ones where they discuss stuff, but these were really emotional with Shadis and Pixis and everything. Like, it wasn't even so much about fighting itself, for me at least, but about Shadis uniting people again and Armin setting Pixis free finally.

I wish the chapter had explored the idea of Titans appearing now that the Military has begun using weapons which are more effective against humans than Titans. I had thought that the reappearance of Titans would do much more damage since the Military is no longer equipped to handle such threats.

Reminds me of the Trost arc and I love it, but it will probably end up being the last time we see pure titans as this much of a threat.

I love the Season 1-esque fan service. How this series has evolved.

I just wished they didn't have to kill their comrades...C'mon this poll question is so heartless wth?

  AFTER EREN GAINED THE FOUNDER, WHY WHERE THE MINDLESS TITANS STILL ATTACKING THE SOLDIERS? 1,944 Responses

Nearly half of the fandom are giving Eren the benefit of the doubt that he simply cannot control the titans, rather than not caring about them or using them. Although many believe that he’s too focused on other things to concern himself with them, and many others feel certain that mindless titans attacking the soldiers is part of his greater plan.

3 times it was mentioned that Eren/Zeke can't control the Titans, I think someone else is controlling them. Possibly Ymir, maybe we'll see Eren getting betrayed.

Eren can't control the mindless Titans because they're Zeke's Titans

It's highly likely the Founding Titan's power and control over Pure Titans has a collective effect of sorts. That is, it can turn Pure Titans back into humans, but if it did, it would happen to ALL Pure Titans, not just a specific group of them. It's possible that is how the Fritz royalty used the Pure Titans while maintaining the Eldian population during ancient times. Here, if Eren were to use that aspect of the Founding Titan's power, both the Military Branch Officer Titans AND the Wall Titans would be turned back into humans. Right now, Eren is bent on using the Wall Titans to flatten the World, so he most likely does not want to use the power of the Founding Titan to turn all the Pure Titans in Shingashina + Connie's mom into humans; otherwise, the Wall Titans would turn into humans again too, and that would ruin his rumbling plan.

Regarding Eren and the mindless titans, control issues aside, I just don't think he cares.

  WHAT WAS THE MOST MEMORABLE TITAN KILL THIS CHAPTER? 1,968 Responses

In a chapter full of titan action, several titan kills stood out as both awesome and tear jerking.  Just over half of respondents, at 51.6%, most remember Armin taking out Pixis after thanking him for his service to the cause.  In a very narrow battle for second place, Keith Shadis sowing the recruits how it’s done won out over Gabi taking a cue from Sasha and saving Kaya.

All of them were pretty darn cool

Gabi's and Mikasa's tie for me

Hard to choose, they're all good

I didn't find any of them memorable if I May be honest

Can I choose all? Because I am.

It's a tie between Shadis arriving to save the recruits, Gabi saving Kayo from the Nile Titan, and Armin killing the Pixis Titan. If I was forced to pick, I'd say Armin's scene because of his sorrowful dialogue upon seeing Pixis as a Pure Titan and the flashback to one of Pixis's earliest highlights when he believed in Armin and Eren shortly after they first met.

Literally all of them what kind of sadistic question is this how could I possibly choose

Loved all the kills!!!

ALL OF THE ABOVE

  THERE WAS A LOT OF DEBATE AS THIS CHAPTER WAS COMING OUT ABOUT GABI, AT THIS POINT DO YOU LIKE HER AS A CHARACTER IN THE STORY? 1,985 Responses

Nearly two-thirds of of the fandom currently enjoy Gabi’s overall character, despite what their first impressions may have been (65.1%) . Though there are still many who have yet to warm up to her, if they ever do (34.9%).

Gabi is beginning to grow on me enough I feel neutral about her.

Gabi is a LITTLE more favorable to me, but I still hate her and I wish she never existed. She can never earn forgiveness for Sasha.

gabi is good you guys are just mean

  WHICH THOUGHT BEST MATCHED HOW YOU CURRENTLY FEEL ABOUT GABI? 1,977 Responses

One of the most controversial characters in the story is of course Gabi Braun, but what do fans truly think of her?  Almost half, at 45.9% don’t profess love for her character from the mountains, but understand why she’s important to the story.  In contrast, 19.6% firmly believe the story would be better off if she never existed, and 17.6% want to see even more of her in the upcoming chapters.  16.9% just think she’s been in the spotlight a little bit too much.

Fuck Gabi, Eren will always be better, not this carbon copy Mary Sue

gabi fucking GANG

Such a great chapter! I’m glad that the Gabi hate is stopping now.

Don't know why are people surprised about Gabi. Her closure with the Braus family is something I figured was gonna happen eventually. Guess Isayama wanted to get that out of the way early.

Of course my opinion of Gabi is unchanged. I still hate her no matter how much "development" she gets.

Gabi is a super uninteresting character to me

i really liked gabi’s character development in this chapter, especially since i was previously a gabi hater.

She is the new MC now. Upgrade.

I see why Gabi exists but she’s just such a forced character. The parallel between her and Sasha was so forced and just felt wrong. Don’t care about her killing Sasha her character is just a forced rehash of eren.

I'm disappointed in her as she is becoming more likeable

Gabi's character development finally completed in a brilliant way

Like Eren, she's fighting for people she cares about, even if she's wrong/vicious with her methods.

I’m tired of Gabi

Really wish we wouldn't have Gabi shoved down our throats, she's not a good character, let alone person

I'm really proud of Gabi and how far she's come from her original POV. I'm really hoping that this influences Eren and I really hope Falco and Gabi get to reunite.

yams wants us to like her more

She has the same motivations as Eren once had, to save the world, basically.

I will admit Gabi has gone through a lot of development. But that doesn't mean I have to like her. I still hate her, and I will NEVER EVER forgive her for what she did to Sasha.

Gabi's haters being mad is so funny. My girl truly shined this chapter, I love her even more.

Gabi.... I feel like I would absolutely hate being around her irl but I guess I do appreciate her as a character in the story.

Never wanted to kill a child so badly in my existence

Death to Gabi Braun!

I don't hate Gabi enough to want her dead, but "too much spotlight" is the understatement of the year, especially when there is still a lot that has yet to be resolved with the main characters

She just wants to protecc

I love Gabi but she gets too much screen time at this point in the story. I want to see Historia and hopefully Eren later.

I LOVE GABI SO MUCH SHE IS THE BEST GIRL

I like Gabster. Gabi Gang Gabi Gang

Me no likey bad bad

  NOW THAT ALL OF THE ORIGINAL BRANCH HEADS ARE GONE, WHO SHOULD BE IN CHARGE OF THE PARADIS MILITARY? 1,955 Responses

The head of all of Paradisian government, Darius Zackly, went out with a bang, and now we’ve lost the interim head Pixis, as well as Nile Dok.  Who’s going to pick up the torch?  There’s a big three that seem to have emerged as popular choices, with Jean winning out, Hange coming in second, and Shadis taking up third.  

A combination of several people noted above.

Hanji+SC Armin+Garrison Jean+MP

Anyone but Floch

Jean. He's the only one that can view the Rumbling objectively and not rule it out as bad because their enemies are destroyed

Armin for strategy, Jean for leadership, Hanji for progress

Daz

Shadis should take over, but only untill Jean can get a little more experience leading.

As long as they agree Marley needs to be wiped out for the sake of Paradis, I'm okay with any leader that accepts that responsibility

Definitely not Hange. She wanted to make peace with Marley. Not leadership worthy at all.

Rico ;-;

Hange may be commander, but they are unfit for taking on as the head of the military. Same goes for Keith, though in this chapter he shows courage by stepping up to push the trainees to fight, I doubt he is willing to go back into a similar position as he was before as the Survey Corp's commander. Among the candidates, Armin may seem like a promising candidate, but aside from his proven intellect, just like Hange both do not possess the level of prowess of leading all three branches (four if count the training squad)of the military. More I think about it the "best" candidate in this list may surprisingly be Jean, but so far he hasnt been giving me the impression as someone who can take on such a massive role.

Erwin

  WHY DID FLOCH ARREST THE VOLUNTEERS? 1,903 Responses

The fandom is fairly divided on Floch’s motives, with a three-way split that comes close to being even. The highest amount of respondents feel he is arresting the Volunteers because he doesn’t trust them based on past actions. In the middle, people feel that he doesn’t want to be associated with any non-Eldian people. And in third place, people felt that he doesn’t trust Yelena specifically, and is taking her group down with her.

As far as I've seen, Floch is on Eren's side, not Zeke's. So that would make Yelena, who hasn't heard about her boss and the euthanasia plan, dangerous as fuck. Even with that, Floch's following his own principles. He has different reasons than Eren, but he just needs the "devil" figure to project his own will.

He always knew Yelena and Zeke's intentions because of Eren, and now he's arresting them to prevent more trouble caused by them. I think Eren "trusts" and is working with Flcoh more than the fandom expect.

Because they conspired to sterilize/euthanize the Paradisians.

He's a completely inconsistent character whose personality and character motivations change at the drop of a hat in order to create conflict in the story.

He thinks Yelena can take over his position of the best Yeager fanboy and he can't have that.

He was never really on their side at all! Just like how Eren saw them - they were a means to an end, a useful tool but a dangerous one that could never really be trusted. Now that Eren has made his intentions clear and the ideological split is visible, he's fully turning on them and suppressing them from potentially pursuing their own agendas further.

There’s not enough room on Paradis for both of those eccentric hair cuts

  GABI AND ARMIN BOTH SEEM INTERESTED IN PUTTING ASIDE THEIR DIFFERENCES: WILL THE SURVEY CORPS AND WARRIORS TEAM UP? 1,928 Responses

After having been warring factions since the beginning, will the warriors and Survey Corps finally team up as one?  62.9% feel a team up will happen, but not everyone from both sides will want to be involved, and a solid 30% believe a full team up is in the cards.  Only 5.8% don’t feel that it’s possible at this point.

Any cooperation will be a compromise, so maybe?

At this point I really don't know. Their passivity disappointed me fully this chapter. They need their TRUE leaders who are MIA at the moment.

I hope it happens but I think Armin is acting under Bert's influence

I hope not, it sounds lame.

i think maybe they will be forced to work together to stop the titans because they are attacking both sides.

It's the ideal scenario I suppose

Only until the Rumbling stops. After that, the SC needs to dispose of all the remaining Warriors to end the war for good.

PLEASE MAYBE REINER WILL GET SOME CLOSURE OUT OF IT

Probably but it’s waaay to cliché. Please don’t Isayama

They'll team up to stop Eren, if that works they'll be enemies once again

Yes and Yes! I've been saying this for months: warriors and SC are going to have to work together. Magath is going to play a role in this too.

  ANNIE!! THOUGHTS: 1,948 Responses

91 chapters.  91 Months.  7 and a half years.  Longer than we were with the characters pre-timeskip.  Annie has been in a crystal, but now she's free!  33.4% think she came back at the perfect time and Isayama has nailed his writing once again.  18.4% are excited for her return, but don’t feel there’s much time left in the story for the wait to be worth it.  15.7% aren’t worshippers at her crystal, and so aren’t too hyped out of their minds.  29% however: A N N I E

akueeoekskfnfjyfjekqwiruuri MY GIRL IS BACK BITCHES, AND I NEED POST-AWAKENING MIKANNIE FANFICTION NOW

glad she's back but the plot has nothing for her to do anymore

How he brought her back makes perfect sense and I love it. If she chose to come out at this time rather than being forced, it would have been awkward and forced to be honest. But Eren taking away all hardening is the best way to bring her back AFTER SEVEN FUCKING YEARS.

glad to have her back but sceptical of her importance

go back into hibernation

Good in-story reason, great writing, but waited far too long. Not sure if she will even be relevent for the remainder of the story that already has a lot of loose ends.

Hentannie

I am not hyped because it took too long and the series has gone too far down a path I can no longer follow.

I DID MY WAITING! TWELVE YEARS OF IT! IN AZKABAN!

I don't know what Annie can do at this point of the story that will make her return worthwhile

I don’t think Isayama and his editors would allow her to be brought back for a poor plot point/reason, so I’m curious to see what role she’ll have.

I wasn't too concerned about Annie at this point in the story but I'm glad that her return makes sense with the events currently taking place and I'm interested to see what Isayama has planned for her.

I'm no fan of her so I'm not excited at all, but I assume she'll drive the plot somewhere soon.

She's got a lot of catching up to do. Concerned it won't be handled well.

The reasoning is sound, and I am glad that Isayama thought that part through, but we have a limited number of pages left, so I am worried about how this will play out.

Took too long so it ended up being very 'meh' for me, but congratulations Annie-stans, have a drink tonight

Should've been way sooner, her potential as a character feels wasted since we're almost done now. All she'll have time to do is get caught up on what happened and then have a couple reunions.

I honestly have no idea what Isayama plans to do with her but I’m just GLAD SHES FINALLY FUCKING BACK!!!! MY BABY GIRL IS BACK!!!!

  ANY THOUGHTS ABOUT WHAT ANNIE WILL DO NEXT? 675 Responses

Annie will have a run-in with Hitch, get things explained and head towards the main conflict.

Dare I say it, Assist With Armin’s Talk No Jutsu with Eren

"Run"

Definitely try to get to her dad.

Try to find her warrior friends

Determine her situation and act accordingly

She won't be too surprised at what Eren's become. She remarked how when the "good guys" take power, then it's all over to Marlowe in Season 1.

A girl can dream of her and Pieck being badasses.

All the titan shifters will come together (location-wise), it seem like a flag? Since all the shifter's powers is a part of Ymir herself, having them close might have significant meaning.

ANNIETHING

Be traumatized by manga spoilers? Wonder wtf happened?? Try to find Reiner??

Annie will join Eren.

Not give a shit about anything apart from Papa Leonhardt

Annie will play a huge role in stopping Eren, in some way.

be a badass like usual and FEMALE TITAN ACTION?????

Change her clothes because why is she wet

umm take a shower lol

Character development and teaming up against Ereh

I think Hitch will be the one to find her - she was in charge of guarding the crystal. I think she'll be too weak to fight right now though, so I'm worried that she's just going to be used as a Titan Shifter snack :(

Somehow affect Eren's mindset. Not sure exactly how.

Go kiss Armin pls

I'm hoping for Armin to transform into the Colossal Titan. Annie will see this thinking it's Bertoldt, and then have a good character moment upon finding out that Armin ate him.

Her endgame is to at least partially counteract the rumbling with her scream ability.

Confused --> Shocked --> Mad --> or all at the same time. Anyway, she will probably meet up with Armin and the gang and they will explain the shit situation to her and somehow they will come up with a plan or smth.

I think she’ll be forgotten about for a few chapters then show up in the battle. It’ll be interesting to see what side she takes at that point. I’m sure someone will conveniently fill her in on the last few years.

She's a wild card, but the last we saw her she wanted to get back home. I'm sure she will be invested in saving the world from annihilation.

She is FAR away right now. I think dealing with Annie is a good wind-down after all this World-ending stuff has been dealt with, like when they save the Shire after defeating Sauron

Crystallize

Yeet to Marley and die with her papa.

Annie's first move will be to find a toilet sure she must be dying for a pee like

  HOW HAS YOUR OPINION ON THE FOLLOWING CHARACTERS CHANGED?

Shadis, Jean and Gabi are the big winners in the opinion poll this month with the majority selecting “More Favorable” reaction to them. Shadis had 1379 respondents selecting “more favorable”, Jean had 1076 and Gabi came in third with 980. Fighting titans so soon after surviving a bear attack is impressive, so I’m not surprised with these results. At the other end of the spectrum, Connie (542) and Floch (496) had the most number of “Less Favorable” selections. While the good outweighed the bad, Gabi again proved to be polarizing with 432 people choosing “Less Favorable” despite her positive development this month.

  FAVORITE NEW TITAN DESIGN? 1,926 Responses

Isayama’s nods to his television viewing habits continue with the appearance of the “Better Call Saul” titan. Our appreciation of Isayama’s sense of humor continues with more than 50% of us selecting it as “Favorite New Titan Design” (51.5%). Pixis was a distance second with close to a quarter choosing his titan form (23.7%) as their favorite.

Still laughing over the Saul Titan. Good ol' slippin' Jimmy

the Better call Saul titan looks more like Bolsonaro (Brazil's president)

one last hurrah to the Pure Titan mayhem the series was originally known for, and witnessing the tragic end to Nile and Pixis

  WHAT ARE YOU HOPING TO SEE NEXT CHAPTER? 1,926 Responses

The three elements of the story which have been absent for months, or even years, take the top overall votes for what the fandom would like to see next. 33.6% are dying to see present-day Levi and Hange again. 24.1% are still eager to get Historia’s perspective. 23.6% are still hoping to one day see Eren’s inner thoughts.

All I want for Christmas....Is Historias POV

I'm missing Connies adventure on the 'What are you hoping to see next chapter?' question.

Bitch give me Levi. It’s been more than half a year.

I literally only care about the 104th characters so the more of them we can see next chapter the better

Give me more Eren action pleaseee

So why is Annie pov not an option for next chapter?

I have waited for 7 years, finally, Annie is back. I wanna see more of her story and  character development. I cant wait to see her conversation with Hitch and Armin!

Please Isayama give me more good Shadis content

I really want to see Eren's full complete titan. Issayama, stop blueballing us please!

I would actually like to know more about that spine creature that is evidently the source of Titans.

Is there a Kiyomi option?

  WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 1,843 Responses

With close to 200,000 members it’s no surprise that Reddit continues to dominate the discussion field (47.7%), followed distantly by Tumblr (15.5%), Real Life (9.8%) and Discord (6.7%). Amazingly, 9% don’t discuss it at all. This month, FIVE of you said Snapchat, up from four last month, so while there’s still technically a possibility that you guys are actually forming some weird snapchat cult and this isn’t an elaborate psyop, I’m still not convinced. But regardless of where you discuss the series, or if you even do, we truly appreciate your participation in the chapter poll!

  ADDITIONAL COMMENTS? 416 Responses

OMG! Okay, it's happening! Everybody stay calm! Annie! Annie! Annie!

Annie got crystalized in chapter 33, and now she's out, 91 chapters later. Since 12 chapters are published in a year, we have been waiting for her (not including flasbacks and her just chilling in the crystal) 7 years and 7 months. I salute all the diehard Annie fans, you had a long wait.

Once again I have marked my calendar. May 9, 2012 - December 5, 2019. After 7 excruciating years our queen is FINALLY awake. This deserves a new record for longest amount of time a character has been comatose in real life. Thank GOD it's finally over I still can't believe it.

I'm a big fan of all of the smaller storylines coming together, hoping for everything to be wrapped up nicely and characters from different factions (i.e Hange, Annie, Historia) all coming together to address the rumbling.

It felt a little like a breather chapter, despite all the action. It was nice to slow down and get some character development for everyone.

“Everyone has a devil in them” is a great message. Hope they all team up and stop Eren. Very curious about what Annie will do!

The parallels to Trost arc were nice, but I felt like the endgame was finally amping up only to be put on hold.

Great chapter! I like Pathland, and the flashback with Levi and Hanji was great, but it was a relief to get some current time action. Gabi is best girl, Armin just went up by leaps and bounds in my book, and Annie is back!! So excited for the next chapter…

Great one ! The fear from the mindless titans in back, like in Trost. Many side characters development/deaths (Nile, Pixis, Shadis, Kaya, Nicolo, Gabi, Annie, Connie, Jean...). So much good stuff, I almost forgot about the rumbling going on !!

Amazing. If Isayama maintains this quality til the end, then this will be one of my favorite series, of any media, ever.

I'm wondering what Annie can realistically do at this point. Sure she beat Eren before but now he's in another level.

Guess we don't have to deal with the genocidal jock for a while

REINER HELOS BRAUN WILL SAVE THE WORLD (after his power nap)

ANNNIIEEEEE; Shadis' comeback was wonderful. I hope he can make up for the loss of Pixis and Erwin and such. He has great potential and he's a well developed character. Jean is asking the real questions, but the showdown between him and Floch is about to go down.

I said previously that if Floch survives I wanted my money back. But you know what? I'll take my refund in Annie store credit. Thanks for that bright spot, Isayama!  Also: this chapter pointed out how many good people in the world will suffer if Eren succeeds. And I felt as frustrated with the remnants of the 104th as Gabi. Nicolo and Shadis became my unexpected heroes this chapter.

Is Zeke still alive? Is he still controlling the mindless titans?

Floch didn’t do anything particularly bad this chapter but every time I have to see his face my opinion of him becomes less favorable. When Jean said “so you lived...” I FELT that disappointment lol.

I love the Braun siblings interaction in this chap. And Nicole's "we'll try to get out of the forest" sends chills. I think that's one of the point ISTM is trying to get across.

Does Connie realise that if his mother was given one of the nine titan powers she would be made to fight? Getting one of the titan powers is very much a curse not a blessing (especially with the Jaw titan)

At this point the Eren/Gabi parallels are feeling a little overdone and forced.

If Gabi receives Eren’s Titan it will be the stupidest most disappointing thing to happen in this- no all of manga! Besides, what is the damn point of her “paralleling” Eren anyways? But the Sasha paralleling was even more gnarly YUCK!

It's true that the people of Paradis will benefit from this shit, but I highly disagree with any justification when it comes to Eren's horrible actions. GENOCIDE IS NEVER THE OPTION. I think Jean is disappointed too but he's trying his best to rationalize the crap Eren's carrying out for he still doesn't want to believe his friend is committing genocide. I expect he comes back to his senses soon otherwise I no longer will appreciate him as a character.

That "who are you most disappointed" will sadly be filled with Armin hate tbh. And in the end he was just wanting to avoid unnecessary conflict... tbh Anyone hating on Connie, Gabi and Armin doesn't seems to know how humans emotion work in helpless situations...

What Yams is doing to Connie is further proof he is ruining his main characters (the good ones) to make room for his precious Marley characters (the crappy ones)

Connie's regression and frustration was more and more visible since Sasha died. He's lost everyone close to him. I am happy to see him finally snap at Armin and go his own way. This was foreshadowed for a while now.

I hope Isayama sensei doesn't forget to include World Millitary's raid in the action. They already mention in some previous chapter by Zeke.

Quantity-wise, the chapter wasn't centered around Gabi, okay. But. BUT. Gabi got quite a few powerful scenes, very Gabi-centric scenes, and I'm not happy about that. I don't see how and why the fandom so easily forgave her for what she's done. Isayama drawing parallels between Gabi and Sasha was insulting and distasteful.

It is highly likely that this is the last time we are going to see Pure Titan mayhem in the series now that the Rumbling is taking place, so I think it was great to that focus in this chapter. I thought it was handled well, especially with Shadis's scenes, the parallel of the new recruits seeing the Pure Titans peaking through the hole of the fortress tower much like a similar scene in the Trost arc, the tragedy of seeing Pixis and Nile (two of the last remaining head honchos of the military not counting Hange and Shadis) as Pure Titans and getting killed off for good, and how characters like Armin and Jean fought those Pure Titans.  

WARMASTER FLOCKE, TO LEAD THE ARMIES OF ELDIA TO VICTORY! Haha no I guess not. I'm torn between Flocke, Jean, Eren, and Shadis. All could be good picks but all outcomes would have different implications on the story and what it means. I guess if I had to pick, it'll be Shadis or Eren for now and then perhaps Jean later when things have settled and they've grown up more.

I honestly can't keep up with how many faces Floch has.

With how the pacing is handled there's no way this is ending in 6 chapters. The real climax is Eren having to go against his friends because there's no way in hell Mikasa is allowing him to genocide kids

As heartbreaking as this chapter has been, I already had my hopes destroyed when 119 was released. Today has been the confirmation for two awesome characters, who fell because of the non-veteran rule. I don't know why I still hope to see Keith staying alive, but at least we got an awesome moment of his.

Characters are being balanced relatively well. Isayama's got a lot of characters and plot threads to deal with, and while Levi, Hange and Historia are getting less focus than I would like, I think he's doing a pretty good job of keeping each character relevant and giving them all some good arcs/ moments

Everything (except for Gabi scenes) was perfect for me!

Eww Gabi-focused chapter…

I simply hate how cowardy the 104th is acting. It's clear they're only fighting in their own interest and are just pulling excuses after excuses for supporting Eren. At least Floch is honest about it.

Man, the 104th always been the group I care the less in the story, but this chapter they're being so annoying (apart from Mikasa). Well, I can forgive Connie because of everything he went through, but Jean... why are you saying this ""there was no other choice, eren is protecting us"" bs ? Nice of you to be complicit of mass genocide. (Yes, I know his face shows he's conflicted, but he still sides with eren) Also Armin... at least he's horrified at what's Eren's doing but when he said that if they don't kill Falco there would be no conflict with the warriors since Marley will be gone....that's just dumb. Their home and families are going to be destroyed, but ok Armin, go off. And getting into another serumbowl situation, with one of my fave uncounscious while the SC decides who will eat him... I don't like it. (I don't think Falco will be eaten tho, the whole thing raised many death flags on Connie)

Great chap, Isayama seems to finally give closure to certain plot parts. End is near.

Here's a crazy idea: feed GABI to Connie's mom instead of Falco, there would be nowhere near as much arguing with that

Highlights that people can rise above their conditions to become better people, offering a counterargument that humanity should be wiped out.

I don't get why the story pacing was disrupted so much. Why build up to a climatic cliffhanger with the rumbling, only to basically ignore it for the entire following chapter?

I honestly wonder if titan shifting still works as it used to. I'm afraid of seeing Falco get eaten for nothing. Honestly I'm worried about Falco dying for nothing while people right over him as a pawn in general.

Quite interesting chapter. Had fun with it. Much, much slower paced than expected almost. But then again we need time to cover all this stuff. And I'm happy it all took place in the current rather than another flashback. Not really a fan of the Gabi stuff but it is what it is. The other character developments were quite nice. Reiner literally just falling asleep tho lol. Overall I guess I wouldn't say it's a "big" chapter but it is necessary to bridge what came before with whatever comes next. And at long last Annie is back, so that's GLORIOUS.

I hope Annie will have such a big role she gets repaid for the all years she's been gone😞

I hope Isayama uses the slowdown in the pace to better sell the scale of the rumbling, we already see part of that by hoe Eren's dino titan still isnt complete, even after all this time

I love how the story is progressing.The next chapter is always something I personally don't expect and it's always exciting. The hype at the beginning/end of the month is unreal. As for the chapter itself, it's always refreshing to see Jean's perspective on Eren's plans because I love his interpretations on him. #TEAMJAEGER

i love my waifu annie i missed her so much

I love you Connie and I'm sure your mom is nice and all but Falco is a precious bean who needs to be protected.

I really hated the Gabi-Sasha and Gabi-Eren parallels. I also still think Gabi was never needed in this story, in fact I don’t know how I’ll be able to stomach season 4. Ugh, the first half will be completely and utterly Gabified. Gabi in color and motion plus speaking, YUCK!  Anyways I hope that the next chapter will have an update on Hange, Levi, and Historia. And maybe Floch getting punched by Shadis that would be the Cherry on top.

It was an average chapter, not bad but nowhere near as good as the previous ones. Plus I'd appreciate if other characters, outside of Gabi, had more spotlight. Her arc and development is done, give more development and screentime to other characters such as Mikasa please.

Just being disappointed. The pacing is very slow. Also the main cast's reactions were too passive. I hated it.

Just great. Just great. The drawings were incredible and the plot just keeps getting better.

Less Gabi, more Historia!

Levi and Hange better return in some way, shape, or form, or Yam's is in for it.

Levi is the new Annie

Love getting to see thoughts from many different characters and where they stand. A lot of them are still left behind trying to rationalise things to make it emotionally palatable, or simply stuck not being able to accept the reality, whereas Gabi has kind of gone ahead and realised there's evil on both sides, and she's willing to kill Eren or work with him if she can best protect the people she cares about (eventually probably not just her friends and family either, but the outside Eldians as a whole).

My baby is back!!!!!!!! I wanna see more of ANNIE!!!!!!

Nicolo talking to Kaya and Gabi was cringey af. Did they really do back to that derpy forest analogy? If this series ends with them holding hands and singing around a campfire imma legit be so disappointed. I need me my Rumbling!

This chapter felt like a nostalgia trip, but I wasn't in for the ride. It was a mess of short catching-up moments when I just want to pick Eren's brain. I want to see Levi and Hange alive or hear what Annie and Historia think about the events, but at the moment I don't care about even those storylines. I just want to know what the relationship between Ymir and Eren is now that the walls came down.

The first panel being Mr. Leonhart was a pretty strong indicator to me that Annie would be released in the last panel, and it was. I felt that to be extremly poetic, and the timing is good too. Another wildcard in the plot. Excellent.

Compared to the previous chapter, this one turned out to be very disappointing. I was excited to see the rumbling and getting a glimpse of Eren’s thoughts and feelings. But instead I got Reiner going to sleep, Gabi being paralleled to Eren (again) and Sasha, the 104th busy arguing over what to do with Falco instead of, you know, focusing on THE RUMBLING

Good chapter, but if S4 is the final season and airs Autumn 2020, and with a monthly release, curious as to how isayama might tie up these "last minute" plot threads such as the new developments with Connie and Falco.

What else can I say except it's amazing and it was worth the wait

Where is Levi damnit

[mikeshanlon]

iwwv anon and PHEW OK. I def did not expect that essay and now I feel bad cause I KNOW my thots r not gonna be articulate or right. nonetheless! i think Oliver does qualify as an unreliable narrator cause hes. very oblivious but not like... Richard papen (who is a whole ass clown don't get me started on tsh) but not like addy from dare me(I will support till the day I die that dare me is da like I WILL die on this hill) who sees what she wants to see. 1/?

i think he just... thinks that his friends r diff ppl than they actually r? that doesnt rly make sense but yea. what I mean is that everything the characters do is coated in that empathetic view Oliver has which is usually wrong? so we don't get an objective look into the characters. meredith is my girl like I love the hot popular girl trope deconstruction but at the end of the book she's not at a great place like she's w someone that doesn't love her like she needs to be loved... 2/

I guess the most probable ending is that James never meets Oliver again and that everyone is kinda stuck on what happened but that's soo sad and I really don't want to think abt it. ngl iwwv wasn't like my fave book ever and I really don't understand why people are so obsessed with dark academia sometimes but what i rly liked abt the book is that despite how fucked up everyone is and how toxic they r to each other they do at heart care abt one another...3/

like I rly liked that esp cause at that point the only other da book (other than dare me!) that I had read was tsh and godd every character is so fuckinh annoying and they all hate each other. i was super confused by it till I saw someone saying that it's satire and I felt my mind explode. I feel like this is so long but I didnt rly properly answer all you wrote sorry! I think its a pretty good book tho it has some crazy quotes like hold awn Im gonna look at the highlighted stuff on my copy.. 4/

Were you in love with him?” “Yes,” [...]Yes, I was.” It’s not the whole truth. The whole truth is, I’m in love with him still. LIKEEE PHEWW OK OK OK. WE OUT HERE. that line literally made me go crazy. I'm so sorry for any spelling mistakes or like general mistakes I made here English isn't my first language, it's 1am and I wrote this in the notes app w/o looking it over. so like.. NOT a professional review lemme tell you. 5/5

 Ahh im so sorry I did not see this before I yeeted for a month!!!

Oooh okay first of all dare me as a DA… I’ve only watched the show but like yeah I see the Elements for sure.

Also yeah I can understand what you mean abt Oliver being an unreliable narrator now… Ig my view of unreliable was more like they are purposefully twisting the truth or omitting facts or just literally don’t know shit but I get how personal bias can make the narrator unreliable. I do think the assertion that Oliver thinks his friends are different than they actually are makes sense. He sees James in a very positive light and though I like James a lot and think he is better than, like, Richard, he definitely has darker moments and manipulates Oliver at times (again I’d like to think it’s not the most nefarious thing in the world but like him just being shitty bc he’s in a dark place and he one, wants to do anything he can so Oliver doesn’t figure out he fought Richard so Oliver still thinks of him the same way/bc he knows Oliver would do something stupid like get himself arrested for James; and two, is very jealous that Oliver is with Meredith after Richard dies and has sort of a somewhat positive outcome from Richard’s death versus James being riddled with guilt and anger). And yeah, the probable ending is they never meet but I refuse to acknowledge that so LGNRG. Also that line makes me go CRAZZZZZZZZZZY!!! There are so many great lines, both using Shakespeare and on their own and its like okay give me a moment im going bonkers…

Personally, I haven’t read that many dark academia novels yet (bc for some reason i can barely finish a book rn sigh) but the concept interests me. I think what’s compelling is the setting/atmosphere of like ~mysterious college vibes~, and the idea of a sort of niche, obsessive bond and pursuit of knowledge with a tight knit group of friends (and the like inherent homoeroticism in every single DA elrngenrg). Like Dead Poet’s Society (the film I haven’t read the book) isn’t Dark in the same way most other dark academia is by like, obsession and death and manipulation (though of course there are dark elements with Neil’s storyline), but I think the other building blocks of academia are present there in a more wholesome way and you can see why people are drawn to that idea. As for the more Dark aspects I think it’s interesting to analyze things like group psyche, obsession, manipulation, etc, like what went wrong for everything to take such a dark turn???

 But, like everything else, it really has to be done well or else its just like okay….… I’ve tried to read TSH twice and I may try again but from the 100+ ish pages I read I totally get what you mean. IWWV is so interesting to me bc the characters are all very compelling and multifaceted and I like that they are a close friendship, we come in after 4 years of them spending all the time together and to me that is apparent. Like you said, we can see fissures and problems especially as the novel continues but there is care there between them. That also makes the decision to let Richard die much more interesting and sinister imo, as well as how all of them interact with each other after he dies, and how the roles of the group change without their “leader” so to speak. Also, maybe it’s just bc I like Shakespeare, but I think the academia part of IWWV is so much more accessible compared to TSH. Like I don’t know every Shakespeare play or anything so I didn’t understand every nuance or was like immediately like oh this is from Cymbeline or whatever the fuck, but you could understand the gist of things and it made sense that they spoke in Shakespeare lines bc that’s all they’ve been doing for four years and also theatre kids are Like That. Their pretention also provided any Layers to the story, like the parallels between the characters they play and their own arcs, how some of the lines echoed their own thots, foreshadowed, or they were able to say things through Shakespeare (I’m thinking of like, Oliver realized he loved James during Romeo and Juliet, the foreshadowing that James was going to ruin Richard’s life and that he dislikes Meredith/Richard when he quotes Mercutio at the start “A plague o’ both your houses”, the exchange Oliver and James had onstage and had that kiss during King Lear before Oliver was arrested,etc.) (Also I think the structure of some of the dialogue being formatted like a play really helped make it feel more realistic and immersive). Versus TSH which is just so pedantic and dense and hard to follow at times im like I get they are smart but what??? And maybe that’s part of the satire aspect (or maybe im dumb) but like donna I read TGF I know you are pretentious and info dump abt random obscure shit anyways so erglknerg. Like to me there was a Point to all of the academic Shakespeare stuff in IWWV and it was the soul of the book, and M.L. Rio made it very interesting—like the way that the directors reimagined the plays and had Julius Caesar be like a modern political play, the cool mirror shit in King Lear, the Macbeth and Romeo and Juliet performances where they did them at events and interacted with their environments (which were one of my favorite parts of the books bc I just think that concept is so interesting), etc. For TSH the shit they did literally just felt like “okay look at them they’re smart see you can’t even keep up!” like okay… I felt lost a lot and only like snapped into reality whenever Henry (?) was like oh… murder….. and even then I was like idk what this dude is saying but like he’s being darksided LMAO. And I also agree that it’s just like… Richard being thrown in the middle of this group could lend itself to some cool ideas but its hard to believe that he fits into the friendship group and hes just like hell yeah I love Greek so much and lets go kill this guy other than like okay ur gay and stupid and just want to impress Henry or whatever his name was (which he was but I digress). It’s just not as impactful to me as this close friend group falling apart. Ik TSH fans might be angry if they see this (and of course I haven’t finished the book so my perception may be warped but I also kno many ppl felt that way u did) bc I’ve seen ppl say IWWV is just like TSH but “lackluster” or whatever and while I can see some parallels (mostly b/w Richard and Henry and Alexander and Francis), I really think M.L. Rio expanded upon common DA tropes and the interesting parts of TSH but made it her own and interesting and oh yeah there are actually multiple compelling female characters and LGBT characters (and no incest)!!!

[unproduciblesmackdown]

let's do a classic Primez ask

thank you lol Prime Time is.....6 am is when im posting this, christ lol what else is new around here........Good Morning in advance lol and [rise and shine sailors it be monday]

2: Favorite book?

i don’t have one lol

3: Favorite fictional character?

i also don’t Properly have like, all-time ultimate Faves in these kind of categories either, but there’s still standouts at least lol......obviously lately it might show that i’m enjoying winston billions a lot, and natch that’s just One of the many wrol roles i’ve been glad to discover. natch winston, jared, and jeremy are fave raves amonth them

5: What’s your favorite fictional ship? (Canon or otherwise)

this is the same as the [fave fictional characters] thing in that like, sometimes i’ll Consume something where i don’t have any, and generally i’m out here multishipping and not like live or die by one Specific Pairing, if i like a character i’ll also probably like Many of their dynamic/s with various other characters, unless the options are That limited.......tying this in to the fave fictional character thing, re: winston, naturally tayston and benston, aka the fruits of us all combining our Genius, are top tier and here’s riawin where we don’t know for sure where it’s going but we’re getting some great Dynamic(tm) stuff anyways.....and natch re: jared i Enjoy Kleinsen (as something to make up ideas about that are outside canon and also as a perspective thru which to analyze canon) and re: jeremy.....stagedorks is beautiful, wild to have canon just give you some content that’s already as good as that

7: List 3 negative traits you have 

well i can be fairly anxious about certain things, which is mostly negative for me lol.........a more negative 2-way street is that i’m just generally in defensive mode around people lol, often i’m like, just trying to avoid Attention entirely and/or like uh oh attention, gotta try to just avoid taking damage from it lol.......on a gradual journey to just being default More Unpleasant / less accommodating lmao......not that i can’t be sometimes, or that i can’t be Genuinely Friendly with randos coz i like their vibe and actually Like socializing lol.........and then re: the challenges of socializing, it seems like maybe when i’m in an interaction i get caught up in [uh oh how do i Respond a) at all b) in a way that’s Good(tm)] and it maybe makes me less attentive to the other person / a worse Listener smh

11: How do you decide when it’s time to cut someone out of your life for good?

idk luckily it’s not something i’ve had to do left and right lol.......but ime it’s Also not exactly like. usually a “ah Now Is The Time to have zero relationship with this person” and most often it’s like [gradual distancing period that is mostly passive] and/or just choosing Not to reinitiate any sort of relationship........though re: more active approaches lol it’s more like. time to try to tune into my [does this feel like something indefinitely sustainable / something you actually Want to have continue in any way] gauge or whatevs. and then still it’s like, sometimes easier if moments happen to come along that provide an [opt out?] choice presented to you kinda lol.........if it’s someone You don’t want to be involved with really but they don’t feel the same and it’s “on you” to decide to peace out at some point it’s more difficult coz such [do you want to opt out]-distilled Moments probably don’t seem to manifest but i think that’s a useful thing to be aware of in itself........i.e. that there’s not always going to be a Narrative-Friendly “point of no return” / clear Line Being Crossed and even if it Doesn’t feel like “i can’t / don’t want to deal with this for Literally one more day” that doesn’t mean you should totally stick it out / don’t have enough reason to decide that you are Done at this particular moment even if you haven’t been Done prior or think you plausibly hold off on it. don’t need to have some kind of story where you think if you Explained it to anyone or everyone it’d universally be understood and everything would applaud like “Yes, the Right Decision” lmao like. not their business....

13: What are your favorite lyrics currently?

well with our groupchat in the replies to that Eternally Crying Over The Bar Song post..........just enjoy the “stay here for a while / cuz it’s nice / cuz it’s holy” part of the refrain, a fun part of the music, and that classic iconis like, lyrics being in a sort of character Voice and yet getting the idea / feelings across effectively even when the words are sort of general or simple.......”shooting from the heart / but we’re all a lousy shot” is great lol and also “say you will always be here” ending with “for one more” is like, there’s another Broader Idea / Sentiment expressed so effectively :’|

17: If you could make a wish, what would you wish for if you knew it would come true?

i can’t do any fun answers lmao it’d just be like [political commentary] but that’s warranted lbr

19: How do you handle heartbreak? Is it something that’s easy for you to get over, or something you struggle with?

lmao i think it is like By Definition not easy for anyone to get over / Not struggle with.........can’t say i’ve had Romantic Misadventures exactly but uh yeah it feels bad to feel bad but i like......wait it out???? idk lmao you can’t really just timeskip past.....Heartbreak Sucks For Everyone Cuz That’s Kind Of The Whole Thing

23: What do you want your future to be like?

pandemic-less, fascism-less........i can’t say i’ve ever been someone like “yea i Know what i want to do and have this whole plan set out how i’m gonna do it lol” i remember when i was like 4 or 5 or whatever being asked What Do You Want To Do When You Grow Up and i was like “shit idk.......i like dinosaurs so i guess paleontologist??” and it was as much a mystery going forward.........always and still mostly playing things by ear with a few vague “if / then” type ideas......aren’t we all though ig

29: Do you think zodiac signs can influence someone’s personality to an extent?

what do i know but i Don’t like or respect the recent years trend ppl being way into it like this isn’t [being really serious about hogwarts houses] or Earnest Myer Briggs Types energy that everyone’s bringing to it......like what are you getting out of trying to be this Prescriptive based on when ppl’s parents got into it. meanwhile i’ve been on the edge of my seat since someone tweeted about “when will we get the first astrology discrimination lawsuit” re: a story about ppl wanting a housemate with a certain sign for compatibility reasons. and like again if it Is like “yes there are time-of-year Personality Types for Objective Real” like. okay, still, what is this Approach that ppl have....doing for anyone.....

31: What does ‘self care’ look like for you?

not very fancy lol i’ll be like “damn i think i haven’t eaten today” and then do it......or be like hey here i’m gonna Do A Stretch or some shit. walk around. step outside if it’s nice. both true that Self Care has inherent limitations re: like we can’t just cancel out all the detriments to our wellbeing via Personal Choices and yet also we can’t Not look out for ourselves how we can......i’ll watch something that i Enjoy. or just knock out if it’s like “christ i need a mood reset” or i’m trying to timeskip through a headache. pet a cat. i like to try to be Appreciative of everyday ordinary shit......also messing around Making Stuff whether drawings or otherwise can be a good helpful use of time, i like talking to people who i like talking to, and other stunning stuff like that lol

37: Have you ever been surprised by someone staying in your life?

not really lol coz again with how i’m pretty slow to realize that someone is like, nonzero actively interested in interacting with me on a regular basis, and then once someone’s In My Life there’s no particular point where i go “whoa....You’re still here??”......ig sometimes there’s like, Friendly Acquaintances where it’d be Unsurprising if they just sort of dropped fully out of the orbit but they do not

41: How do you show you care?

hmm i sure like to do ppl favors / give them gifts / help them out w/ whatever, hang out / generally be Around them where like, doing [parallel tasks] works i.e. maybe we’re doing different things but in the same room.....just like to Talk and all and listen to ppl and Learn Things About Them, try to pick up stuff re: ways that ppl express like “hey to me it conveys Being Cared About when ppl do ___”........food/cooking is a love language......that thing where shit you’d be way too anxious to do on your own For Yourself is like, oh i’m absolutely gonna do it on behalf of someone i care about.......all this stuff is more like, Possible in person lmao rip. i Care you guys

43: Which of the seven deadly sins do you feel represents you the most?

who is your hellsona and what is their origin story (how they got condemned to hell).........if i’m irritable / argumentative am i wrathful? you could presumably someone saying yep it is inherently the one deadly sin of lust if you’re queer.......at any given time i’m passed out and dreaming about “fuck capitalism and the protestant work ethic” and that’s sloth i guess. and okay i went “who named an animal after a The Deadly Sin as if it’s like ‘wow fuck this animal for choosing not to zoom around as though they could and i apparently think that they should’ tf” and in looking it up i immediately learned the Sloth Fact that apparently their shits are insane and also the most dangerous thing they do?? like they poop only maybe once a week and All At Once so that a single dump might knock off a third of their total weight........and it’s pretty much the only time they leave the upper branches of trees, in that they crawl down to hold on to the trunk and take this monster shit and naturally they’re not great on the ground so Pooping is like the leading cause of death for sloths in the wild. and i think they ought to be named after that. 

47: What are you passionate about?

oh man [i am passionate a lot.mp3] lol.........always having a variety of Interestes which i like to talk about / potentially make things about.......decent amount of subjects i like to learn things about even if  i’m bad at like, actually learning things generally lmao, what’s Not losing focus on shit.......idk it’s not that hard for me to like go off about Whatever, got these jack of all trades interests / areas of Some knowledge, i’m opinionated and probably have something (extensive) to say about anything as just part of my charm lol, and just in general i can get Enthused / worked up about things..........also passionate about various [niche gay shit] things eternally. whoms among us isn’t

[redxblueihateloveyou]

hi, just wanted to say that i’ve always loved your rinharu posts! regarding s3, i feel that naturally everyone has the right to be annoyed bc the pacing was horrendous. imo they either should’ve made ikuya’s arc shorter or taken up the entire season for it (as ironic as it sounds) bc with the way the last 4 episodes were, it felt disconnected. however, i’m sad to hear everyone saying ikuya and the other characters this season weren’t worth the time, considering they were originally in the novel

Hi! I’m so happy you liked my Rinharu posts! It means a lot to me.

I’m a bit confused… how the fact that Ikuya was in the novel connected to the way they wrote him this season? Like.. is just any book character automatically great and worth becoming the main while the main ones everybody loves are sidelined? Tbh if you read it, you know that all the characters are not exactly the same as they were in the novel, still it doesn’t make them bad, plus they grew up, people change, and writers are decided where they will go from there. 

Now I can’t say for “everyone”, but I think most of the fans you’re talking about was like me (if you saw my posts before season started) and were pretty happy about Ikuya coming back since I don’t think anybody disliked him in ‘High Speed’. So nobody originally said that Ikuya from the novel “wasn’t worth the time”, but Ikuya the way they wrote him in s3 definetely wasn’t worth it. It was their decision to take the novel Ikuya and made him this Ikuya, with unoriginal copied from others storylines, which people have been emotionally inversted in for years.

And the fact that so much fans feel that way says a lot in my opinion. So I’ll try not to be very harsh here, but here’s why I can’t be invested in his character. I’ll write this post just once fully, so I’ll reference it in times I needed it. 

So here we go:

Now you know I’m not the person who loves every-every Free! character like many ppl do, but in no way I ever didn’t want them there since they’re all so connected, they all played vital roles in each others lives and we wouldn’t be the same without them. All main-ish characters I mean, of course. Now we have two main characters (who had Rin & Haru in previous seasons ammount of screentime this season) which if you scratch them from the plot there wouldn’t be any difference. In fact if you scratch them, Haru wouldn’t roll back to season 1 and stuck in the past again, wouldn’t feel guilty for nothing, wouldn’t waste shittton amount of time on an egotistical teen, wouldn’t get depressed, we’d see how Rin passed to the All-Japanese, we’d get trio university time and etc. Like wow, what a great deal, bring the eraser. They literally didn’t bring anything to this season. There were no characters in Free! with such huge screen time who’d be this useless to the main plot.

I mean, look at it with a clear head. They introduced way too many characters in s3, but the ones that are vital to the future plot are really Rinharu coaches, Albert and that Kaede guy. They keep putting Ikuya on covers and photos with Rinharu like he’s part of the gang and their bestie, but truly nobody gives a fuck, Haru already said that Rin’s way too special and he’s the only rival who makes him feel that way and they’re in their dream world, so Ikuya can’t compete with that; Rin doesn’t even know him and even if he will what exactly connects them…? I don’t fucking know. Not to mention that Rinharu’s minds are set on Albert already who’s the world champion. I’m like… I don’t see who Ikuya really is for them. Dude Haru knew in middle school?

Now for Ikuya’s great personality (yeah, that was a sarcasm). I don’t know what see creature he was supposed to represent but he reminds me of algae. Like while it gets everything it needs to live and grows, others who are close and live around it get deprived of warmth and light and slowly die (emotionally inside in our situation). He managed to be the only character on Free! who didn’t do anything good for others, which makes him stand out a lot. And because nobody who wrote that got to think about what it’s gonna look like, his story ended up like this: everybody kissed his ass and did what he wanted, and only then he was finally happy, the end. 

Like from the beginning writers strongly pushed the fact that everybody owes him something, everybody did something unforgivable, and he’s the martyr and this is the way his life is, which is a nonsense for Free! The way he treats people is just so unpleasant for me. To know that someone wants to apologize to you for some godforsaken middle school thing, to know that they’re looking for you, to know that your friend throws dirt and them and be like “oh, did they come see me? whatever, let them continue humiliate themselves” is just unthinkable for me. He’s the same age as Haru but acts like a baby sheep, who can’t even talk like adult and being lead by Hiyori like he’s his shepherd. 

That’s why watching this was pretty weird, because while all characters in Free! are very characteristically diverse, they’re all good people. Like even when they don’t have much of a spine they’re still good people. And to see a main like this was very odd to say the least.

Like I can let go of Hiyori since he doesn’t matter in a grand scheme and I know some ppl find creepy type yanderes who think scheduling another’s person poop time more important than their own life romantic, but I just find it weird. Selfless yander-ish characters I like a lot, but this “let’s just keep you away from your friends and let you stay forever sad, because I want you to depend on me forever… wait, did you eat your vitamins today” is just… what?

So bringing this to a logical end… trying to put Ikuya on the same level as Rin and Haru now and say “look he’s also a main” is laughable in my opinion. He’s unoriginal, doesn’t stand out at all, and with his weak character has low possibilities of surviving the professional swimming world (with brother and his nanny by his side maybe). So the only thing he did great is made me appreciate original Free! characters and relationships so much more. 

Like the new friendships seem unrealistic now, they keep shoving new pics with Asahi, Kisumi with Hiyori (who I hardly imagine as friends) and Ikuya with Rin even though they haven’t even met yet. It all lack of feels because we love Free! for amazing friendships but now it’s like we’re automatically friends with people we saw once or people who were assholes to us.

His chances to become as loved as the trio were low (partly because it’s been years and people are way too invested in them), but with such writing it just became even lower. Showing the worst pseudo variations of originals storilines of their faves combined and waste a screentime on this would make people upset. Like now everybody will just forget it and move on because what’s the point of crying over spilled milk. But saying that people should love him just bc he was in the novels seems odd. Yes, he’ll be a part of the group, hell, he can have stans based on his face alone (I mean not all fans are that much invested in characters), but be like a lovable great character…meh. Not with all possibilities of picking a fave in this show. 

P.S. And pls don’t even yell at me about the “representation of depression and panic attacks” because like we said already a) that’s not this kind of a show, b) if it was, then this is such an unrealistically bullshit way of doing it, I hope nobody took it seriously. So my point stands - he’s unrelatable, bland and gives bad example for 13 years old who’s watching. Making him main is a disgrace in my opinion for Free! which is known for such iconic characters. And since everybody brings something to the show and he somehow doesn’t, I think people have the right to call him a waste of time. 

[asillydreamer-on-a-crazyworld]

I think people are taking what Jenna said to literally. Run the gamut doesn’t necessarily have to mean run its course. She states that the season starts with the attraction they have for each other and continues to move forward. So in other words they have gone through all the levels of emotions. That doesn’t mean it’s over. Hell that whole phone convo screams more. It’s going to be a long 10 months. I really wish people would grow up. You’re mad we know, but why all that negativity in the tag

Agreed anon. And thank u for coming to my ask box as well. I think that it’s far from over between these two. People were hurt with this finale and I understand, but some are reading her words and taking it too literally like u said. I will repeat myself here, but I don’t care. In the end, Beth only did what Rio asked her to in S1.

I wonder what would have happened if she’d shot him that first time. How ppl would react? Well, probably not how they are doing it right now bc Beth and Rio were intimate with each other, they became closer, worked together, they did things for the other, Beth even defended Rio, for God’s sake. People connected even more deeply with them and their relationship and things progressed between them.

I know it’s not gonna be the same when Rio comes back tho. I agree with some ppl that he is gonna respect her more,in his weird way bc like some folks said, she finally became the person he knew she would be. However, this means he will have to approach whatever new thing he’ll have in mind with her with more caution bc now she proved herself to him in a way.

This woman showed her claws, even if it happened in a very disturbing situation that led her to do it anyway.

Again the emotional baggage between them just got heavier and bigger and they will keep their guards up and higher than ever. Somehow I think this will lead them to talk more about what is going in their minds now that they crossed this particular line between them. Bill said Beth felt used in that interview and, really, I agree with the way things happened, with Rio leaving her ( or so that was what looked to Beth when she saw all of his things gone) and him making all that game of making her kill someone else…And not to mention that woman she saw him hugging way back… the fact they never talked to the other about what was going on between them, just made it worse and helped Beth thinking just like that.

Now she shot him and left him to bleed and walked in a daze back home… Then I think she tried to bury all that deep down in her mind like she usually does with every other bad stuff that happens in her life?

 People are saying Beth acted cold and was a bitch bc she shot Rio a guy with a kid, someone she had feelings for… But really, and Rio? Shooting her husband.. Not thinking about her kids being left without a father no matter how awful he was as a hubby? Sending body parts to her home with four little kids who could have opened one of those letters? 

And again, I think it was something she did without thinking it… It was not as if she planned to shoot him. Just look at her face when she does it.

but going back at how she doesn’t face the real problems she has and tries to pretend everything is good is actually what she did with the fact she shot Rio.

C’mon she is not a robot. Or that cold of a bitch. I still believe she had feelings for him and that is why she shot him and not Turner. It’s the people we feel the most about that bring out the worst in us, the most violent feelings, in the end.

It’s fucked up but it’s like that.

And I agree with some people in the fandom that Jenna talked more like how Beth felt not like SHE felt about Beth and Rio.

I actually give kudos to her for her decision about giving ppl Brio when it was not in the original plan and when she knows how deeply ppl felt about it, and how dealing with such passionate audience can backfire on a show when u don’t give ppl what they want and HOW they want it.

yeah, the show has some problems- some concerning problems about race, yeah and I know having a black healthy couple don’t excuse how the show dealt with other things - and the way they chose to keep Dean’s character around and the decision to make Rio kidnap  Beth was a big WTF moment for me.

Like I said, it’s hard to have something perfect and yet I know u can find some out there but it’s not that easy.

But this show still has a chance to grow with its mistakes and I don’t think they are done with Brio yet. They listened to this fandom by embracing Brio in giving it to us and like u said, with that call? Rio showed us that yeah, it was a game but one he enjoyed it and if he did, there are feelings involved no matter how twisted they are.

I hope they will hear people’s words about the finale and since they gave the fandom what they wanted most, even if not in the way ppl wished ( but come on, the story is not over yet), I’m sure they will give the fandom more but just remember: they are telling their own story here. This is not some Bandersnatch shit. It’s not an interactive show where writers will ask u all what do u want to happen next so they can write down. lol

[hearteyes-for-killmonger]

Change

Inspired by the Deftones. You could probably guess that lol.

Warning/Disclaimer: This is a oneshot in which Erik is a JERK. He is a BAD PERSON in this. Not goals at all. This is DARK. (The Deftones are dark) Felt like writing it though so... enjoy? I'm only tagging certain ppl for this one because it's not my typical Erik.

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Ever since his father was brutally murdered for his values, Erik had never been the same. The world had never been the same. The light had gone. Where teachings of morality, equality, and love used to frame his worldview and serve as a guide for daily living, there was only room now for power, control, and the animalistic desire to burn, destroy, and ruin anything that threatened to rise above him or make him feel.

Through a haze of darkness, Erik watched Her as she moved gracefully through the crowd, floating blissfully above it. Beyond it. In a pawn-ridden club with disposable buzzing flies high on their own drunkenness and debauchery, she was a butterfly. Fresh and undisturbed snow. Untouched, but not untaintable. No one was untaintable, not to him.

He envied her easy smile. He coveted, yet despised the pure joy she seemed to radiate because he could not feel it. Perhaps it was the luxury of innocence she was shrouded in like a virgin at the altar who's yet to be defiled.. with blind faith that the world would continue rocking her to sleep in a bubble that knows no pain or solitude. She held a freedom that he didn't hold and for that, he had to destroy her. He knew he was superior to her. He just had to prove it to her.

Pushing aside the women he'd just gifted with his time and attention, he made his way through the crowd and like a moth to a flame, her wide and innocent eyes found his. He smirked, holding her with a smoldering look as he disappeared to a VIP room wondering if she'd follow. Tick tock, he smiled, posted on the wall in the private room. Almost instantly she came wandering into the trap like a little lost mouse. She jumped when she noticed him standing there, watching her closely like a snake poised to strike. He didn't care about her name or her life story, he only wanted one thing.. to destroy something pure and beautiful and babygirl was it.

She started to speak, but he shushed her gently, approaching slowly. He tilted her chin up and looked deeply into her expressive black orbs. There wasn't an emotion she had that couldn't be immediately read. She was entranced, her breathing unsteady, her lips parted and silently begging. Desire was written all over her and he counted it as worship. He brought his face closer to hers feeling her body heat spike as she flushed, brown skin heating. He touched her skin, feeling the change and stroking her smoothness. She melted into his hand, already purring like a content kitten. She was literally in the palm of his hand. He kissed her deeply watching her eyelids flutter as she surrendered to passion before he tugged up the hem of her short dress and grabbed a handful of her ass.

As if coming to her senses, she collected herself and pulled her dress back down, but when she tried to kiss him again, he declined. "Pull your dress up," he murmured, watching her struggle within her mind on whether or not to obey. She looked suddenly uncomfortable. "I've never gone that far," she admitted hesitantly, "Can we just makeout, for now," she asked softly returning his hand to her waist. He pulled away, switching positions with her so that he could pin her to the wall. "I don't want to wait," he said kissing and sucking on her neck. "Admit you want me inside you right now." His hands roamed her body over her clothes and went to her neck, squeezing gently. Gradually, he added pressure watching her facial expressions change. Part of him wanted to choke her out completely because he loved how her eyes searched his in fear, recognizing the power in his grasp.. but he released her and she gasped. "You liked that," he smirked and it was more of a suggestion than an observation. "Yes," she whispered reaching out for him. This time when he kissed her, he slipped his hand under her dress and into her panties where he began to stimulate her into being a bit more open to suggestion. "Say thank you," he whispered in her ear as she panted. "Thank you," she whispered, but he didn't let her cum. "Pull your dress up," he repeated and she did.. like any other common woman at the club would have. He smirked, a silent chuckle bursting through and she smiled, completely oblivious. There was nothing truly special about her, just as he'd suspected. How had she deluded herself into thinking that there was?

He kissed her lips and then her neck and he removed her dress, kissing skin wherever he saw fit from her breasts to her stomach to her hips, her thighs, and finally.. He ripped her panties off throwing them across the room. Growling, he devoured her like a madman, gripping and spreading her for better access to the honeypot. Indeed, she was sweet. He bit her clit and she shrieked, swatting at him before he soothed it with his lips and tongue. He couldn't make her too mad just yet, he wasn't done playing with his newest specimen. "You're so beautiful," he hummed into her collarbone noting the tenderness swelling in her eyes. She was forming an emotional attachment very quickly which meant she was a whore for love. He could fake that well. It was perfect for what he wanted.

"There's something I always wanted to try," he whispered gently stroking her face with the back of his hand, "You up for adventure, little one?" She nodded. "Yes, sir," he prompted gently. "Yes, sir," she repeated obediently, readily accepting her subservience. He didn't even have to buy her anything and he would've.. just to get in her pants. In his mind, she was cheap. She didn't even know his name and she was already his little slave. It was too good. "I think you're the most beautiful woman in this club. You're perfect. Why don't we do a walkthrough with you in just your heels like this and I'll walk you to my car, take you home with me.." Calling her beautiful seemed to light something within her. He made a mental note to use the word sparingly and only as an incentive or reward. He teased her with his soft lips brushing hers, the taste of her still on them. "That's too far, I can't do that," she pleaded. "Come on," he pressed, pushing his hard and perfect body against hers. His finger danced on her bottom lip. "Don't be afraid, just do it," he spoke firmly. A few more kisses and booty rubs and she was walking ahead of him through the club, butt naked. In less than an hour, he'd managed to lure and tame the lone butterfly and turn her into a slave on parade. Mentally, he gave himself a pat on the back enjoying the attention on the way out. Everyone in that club knew now without a doubt that he was the king. He reigned supreme and they were all lowly peons who could never accomplish the feat he'd just accomplished.

"Good job, baby," he praised when they reached his car. "Although your naked ass fogging up my leather seats is disgusting." He smiled a smile that didn't touch his eyes, rubbing her hand when she looked up in confusion. Once they reached his house, he gave her his can of pledge and a paper towel to wipe off his seat with. "You missed a spot," he lied pointing to an area they both knew she'd wiped. She rewiped it without complaint. It made his dick hard. "You think pledge works on a driveway," he mused wondering if she was stupid enough to try it. "Get that little spot of dirt up and see... No you gotta really get down there.. Wipe it up. That one too. It's not coming up, find a way to get it up." It was dark, he couldn't actually see shit on the driveway but she'd gone with it. Frustrated, she finally stood, stomping to her feet. The neighbors were probably watching the show. "Get it up," he pointed back down and she grunted in anger. He didn't give a fuck if she was angry, he wanted her down. When she refused, he locked his car doors and turned to enter his house, closing her out. He didn't care where she went.

She knocked on the door and he ignored it, pouring himself a glass of Hennessy, toeing off his loafers, and stripping his clothes off. He didn't open the front door until he felt like opening it. "Crawl," he commanded as a condition to her coming inside. She was free to leave, but she chose to drop to the ground and crawl inside like an animal. Like a beetle, while he sipped from his glass, staring. He walked to his living room as she crawled behind him and he didn't have to look at her to know she was enjoying the view of him. He knew he was attractive from every angle. He'd worked to be attractive from every angle. It was an honor for her to look upon him. "Have a seat," he said pointing to the large glass coffee table. She was concerned about putting her ass on it, rightfully so, but he'd commanded it. She sat and he circled her, determining that she was dying meat and he was a vulture waiting until she was completely dead to strike. She could still sink lower. "I've got something for you," he smiled flashing his dimples, "Wait here, mama. I'll be right back."

He wasn't right back. He lost track of time. She was still sitting, but on her phone when he returned. "Focus," he snapped, pushing her from the table. He produced a vial of cocaine and made two lines of it on the glass. "If you wanna stay, snort these," he said flatly offering her another moral decision. He didn't interfere as she hesitated, enjoying her uncertainty. It was intriguing to watch her consider snorting cocaine when she still didn't know his name. He didn't snort cocaine, he simply sold it. No one forced her to do anything that she'd done, but he'd watched her like the devil as she'd made decision after decision. She was no longer a butterfly, though she still believed that to be the case. As she snorted her first line and sat up with furrowed brows, trying to manage the feeling, he chuckled. He wasn't even sure if she was a fly. On the ground, she didn't soar or float. She wallowed. He fucked her that night while she was high and when he woke up, she was gone.

He saw her every time he visited the club from that point and she was always the wildest, so alive. She started smoking, he noticed when he saw her outside of the club. He'd fucked her a few more times and he wasn't the only one. She'd started slipping. She wasn't as.. pristine.. as he'd remembered. Her luster was completely gone, replaced with the sloppy shell of her former glory. It was like he'd imagined the butterfly. She lived as though she never had wings to begin with.

It wasn't until he got really drunk one night in particular.. he drove home. He put himself to bed. He had a nightmare that shook him awake and had him sitting on the edge of the bed. N'Jobu was towering over him as though he were a child again and he felt the disappointment in his father's stare. The shame he'd once felt so clearly as a child returned with a vengeance along with a distinct sense of right and wrong. It was like every atrocity he'd committed had come back to destroy him. It was unbearable, the feelings of remorse, regret, self-loathing, and hopelessness. He pulled out his phone to call Her, something he'd never done. His hands shook as he told her to come over. The phone slipped from his fingers to the floor without ending the call. She came, dropping to the ground immediately. Her hair was a mess. She had bags under her eyes and her skin was dull. She was high as hell and it was all his fault. Everything he'd done to her to ruin her because of his own pain. Laughing to cover his pain and tears, he wrapped his arms around himself, falling to his knees. He only wanted to hurt himself. He looked to the left and saw a vision of N'Jobu glaring at him in disgust. Pulling out his handgun he gently placed it in her hand, gesturing for her to shoot him. He owed her that much.

BLAME THE DEFTONES I'M SORRY!!!!

@allhailnjadaka @amethyst1993 @ange-sensuel @blowmymbackout @trevantesbrat @whoramilaje @thehomierobbstark @eriknutinthispoosy @blackpantherismyish @vikkidc @panthergoddessbast

[specsnsarcasm]

"The Affair" is back. Buckle Up!

Watching "The Affair" season 4 premiere. Thoughts:

I'll never get tired of singing the theme song. I get INTO it. For one whole minute, I am Fiona Apple incarnate!

You are NOT going to make me feel sorry for Noah Solloway. Nope! My memory is long.

Yaaay! Black and brown people! The producers must have said "Quick! Before they bust us for our lack of diversity!" And it was so.

Also, "Compton Academy"??? HAHAHA. That better be a real f^cking school because otherwise that's a little too on the nose, don't you think? Lol.

How is Noah allowed to teach at a high school again? Didn't he get a suspension from teaching for an inappropriate sexual tryst with a coworker? I know he served the time and used it to write the book, but isn't that on employment records?

I LOVE Sanaa Lathan's hair. I've seen it in pics, but never in action. Girl, yes!

Yes, boss lady! Own. Him. She's good at her job, she knows her students, and doesn't take any crap. Fear her. Love her. Respect her.

Is she going to be Noah's new love interest, because I can't really see her putting up with his or any of their family’s sh^t (P.s. I guess he and the French lady broke up in Paris? Sure. Whatever)?

Ugh. I want to punch that coworker in his ignorant fucking face for that "affirmative action" comment. Smh. Racist ass!

For a minute, I was thinking "wouldn't it be WILD if Noah Solloway taught at the same school that the "Big Little Lies" ppl go to?" Different city, I know, but seeing him drive down the coast gave me serious "BLL" vibes (can you say "cross over"?).

The whole time I was watching the exchange between Anton and Noah, I kept thinking Noah is NOT reading this kid's nonverbal cues. He keeps pressing and pressing him. Don't be surprised when he blows up at you. And sure enough, guess what happened. And was he surprised? Yup.

SO HELP ME if this story line about Anton turns Noah into another "great white hope" story about him "saving" him from drugs/gangs/a bad home life/a bad neighbourhood/bad influence/realizing his own potential/whatever, I will BURN THIS F^CKING SHOW TO THE GROUND! Like- why is that always the default "black" story?! While perhaps it may be the experience of some, it is certainly not the ONLY black experience! It's not my experience! Furthermore, it's such a reductionist version of that story, in which black people are one-dimensional props used to further the story, while white people remain the main characters. Not here for it.

I don't know why Doctor Vik still puts up with Helen's neurotic ass. What exactly is his return on investment in the relationship? Seriously though, I forget what's so special about it. (I vaguely recall them having great sex, but other than that, I'm stumped!).

How can you possibly move all the way across country for a "fresh start" with your ex-husband tagging along? That's not fresh, that's stale af! It's probably impossible to just sever all ties with your ex while co-parenting, but this already seems unhealthy. Granted, it allows the show to continue, but it's contrived af.

Helen getting mad at the LITERAL Pacific Ocean and calling it an "attention whore" is hilarious (and also, as a Maritimer, I kind of get it? The Atlantic is MY ocean). <3

Wouldn't it be refreshing if for once they didn’t use the "mother-in-laws and daughter-in-laws hate each other" trope? Just in general. Try it. See what happens! You'll be pleasantly surprised! (Although I get that this is Helen's version, so she's likely exaggerated both Vik's mother and herself as a victim).

Sierra is an interesting character. I'm looking forward to seeing what is wrong with her. Lol. Will she "Single White Female" Helen? Make an inappropriate move on her? Be a man-stealing hussy? Cult member? I guess we'll see...

Dr. Vik needs to lay off the green juice.

Final thoughts: Last season had me yelling at the tv at the MANY questionable decisions that I didn't think the characters would realistically make, so I'm glad they took some time to regroup. (I hear the cast and crew were pretty burned out too). I'm glad they're back, and I'm excited to see what direction the show runners take it this time round! P.s. Needs more Cole!