#literally standing in the shower and making this post so i don’t forget this concept

[esleep]

if anything happens to pigeon, my next dnd character will be a kind, motherly, middle-aged, half-orc woman. she has multiple adult children and she is divorced. she’s also a warlock, and her ex-husband is her patron. her character arc consists of her going through miles of red tape to figure out the best way to break the pact.

[junicai]

Relationship with SuperM

➣ BAEKHYUN ☾ baekaria

before being thrown into a supergroup together, aria and baekhyun hadn’t really spoken 

they’d seen each other around the building, and aria was an avid supporter of exo so of course she knew who he was but she wasn’t expecting him to know who she was 

so when aria walked into the practice room and was greeted by baekhyun waving her over and calling her name

sue her if she was a little stunned 

their relationship was a little stilted at the beginning

between the age gap, and baekhyun not having a girl member in a group before, it took a few weeks for the two of them to figure out their dynamic and where they fit around each other 

eventually though

they settled into a pretty comfortable situation

baekhyun tries to put her at ease as much as possible 

there is 8 years in the difference, but you’d swear that its less than half 

although he’s playful and generous with the teasing like he is to other members 

he’s careful to avoid certain topics when it comes to aria, just out of respect for her and not wanting to make her feel uncomfortable

this came to fruition after kai unknowingly made a small comment on how aria “must have been hungry”, considering how fast she was eating

baekhyun knew he didn’t mean anything by it, but he watched aria slowly put down her chopsticks and reach for the bottle of water beside her instead

he didn’t see her eat for the rest of the evening

did kai get in trouble? no but he did get hit lightly over the head

when aria does something cool - like a spin or a trick - baekhyun is the first to say “that’s my child. i raised her, look how well i taught her” 

ten: “heY-”

tldr: although they’re not the closest, aria’s slowly grown more comfortable around him, and he’s looking out for her all the time 

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.

200829 Knowing Brothers: when baekhyun brought up the members of superm all showering together to get closer quickly, heechul quickly pounced on aria - the girl slowly moving to put her head in her hands. 

“and where was aria during all of this? don’t tell me you brought her to?”

baekhyun: “well of course we did-” 

aria: “NO I STAYED OUTSIDE HE’S A LIAR DON’T LISTEN TO HIM!”

*cue baekhyun laughing his ass off*

➣ TAEMIN ☾ arimin

aria thought she was going to die

there was absolutely no plausible reason that she should be in a group with The Taemin

he was highkey the reason why she had even accepted her position in sm at the very beginning of her training

this man convinced a fifteen year old to give up the sport she’d been doing her entire life 

his impact  (*¯ ³¯*)♡

please stand by while aria tosses herself off a bridge

she was So Formal at the beginning

he honestly was the member she took the longest time to warm up to - because she had idolized him for so long

will still refer to him as taemin-ssi occasionally, but now its less a formality and more of a tease

this boy was shook when he found out how young aria was - mark and lucas he can deal with because at least they’re 1999, but aria....

“2000??? 2000?” 

he said :O

despite their rocky start, they’re quite comfortable around each other, especially after spending a few nights rooming together over the tour

does aria still look for his validation in a lot of her work? yes, but she’s more open about asking for it now then she would have been 

taemin definitely doesn’t have a favourite kid and it’s definitely not aria no why would you think that

aria really out here collecting parents like pokémon 

gotta catch em all~

he looks out for her a lot during their schedules, mainly because he knows what its like to be the youngest in a group and how it can feel a little like you don’t really have a place there

so he always makes sure to include her where possible 

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.

sitting in a circle in a waiting room while mark toy-ed around with the guitar in his lap, aria sat curled in the corner, humming lightly to herself as taemin sang softly along with mark playing “view”.

quietly, she began to sing soft backing harmonies along with taemin, her eyes still attached to her phone in her hands.

when she felt the device being tugged out of her hands and her being pulled upright by another hand on her arm, she looked up to see taemin smiling brightly, still singing 

cue the impromptu concert of a lifetime: with god tier vocals

➣ KAI ☾ kairia

so, they met

and kai just kinda went: mine.

and that was that really 

its like a puppy refusing to give up its favourite chew toy 

“nooo but its my turn to room with aria :(”

never really did the whole awkward, getting to know each other phase? 

not that aria had any real say in it

but jongin point blank refused to engage in small talk with her

so they ended up spending their nights on the superm tour talking about stuff ranging from why the sky is blue to why aria stopped ice skating

she started crying and he did not handle it well, bless him

although he’s super chill and fun to be around

he’s also the only non-nct member that seriously scolds her 

when he found her in a practice room lying on the ground (she was Resting, thank you very much) at three in the morning, he dragged her out without a word and brought her back to her dorms in silence 

aria knew he was mad at her, but she thought it was because he had to borderline carry her four blocks down to the nct dorms 

“no you idiot, im angry because you thought that instead of coming to one of us for help with the bits you’re struggling with, you figured hey. let’s pass out instead.” 

he’s so affectionate with her

you know how lucas and kai have Intense Brothers Energy

well aria has that, little sister vibe that makes kai want to wrap her in a blanket and carry her everywhere

she’d hate that, if he tried that she’d scream (he did try that, this is coming from past experience)

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.

kai chucking aria like a cannon ball into the pool during the filming of mtopia when she refused his hugs.

“oppa, oppa no im sorry ill give you all the hugs you want, oppa, JONGIN-OPPA NO NO NO NO -”

*sploosh*

➣ TAEYONG ☾ ariyong

taeyong took one look at aria the first time she showed up for group practice and immediately adopted her (not literally but he would if he could)

eomma meets highly protective brother meets life coach type beat?

so so soft for her its sickening 

says he doesn’t have favourites and will then spend an hour cooking for aria because she’s been in the studio the whole day and he knows she hasn’t eaten yet

when aria was given a duet to do for the sm stages, she had to pick another member to do it with and her first choice was taeyong 

she always has said that taeyong is one of the pillars keeping her upright and sane - without him she wasn’t sure if she would have been able to complete her training 

because of all the schedules they share together, if aria isn’t rooming with mark then she’s definitely rooming with taeyong

whenever she does his makeup (more often than you’d think) she point blank refuses to cover his scar, even when he asks her to do so

“please? i don’t like it.” “*gasp* how dare you.”

sleepy aria! snuggling into taeyong’s shoulder when a schedule ran late!

he gets uncomfy when the stylists put her in too revealing clothes, and has spoken to them on numerous occasions about dressing her in age-appropriate attire, no matter how “sexy” the concept might be

he keeps little bags of sugar-dusted strawberry sweets in his bag incase she forgets to eat and feels faint after the last time (they used to be blueberry flavoured but he heard donghyuck throwing out any and all “blueberry-contaminated” food one evening)

taeyong doesn’t tolerate hate towards aria, especially in person, so he always makes sure to sit down the line from her so that he can see when people skip her intentionally 

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT. 

taeyong had just been awarded the single bedroom on the last night of the mtopia series, and was staring off into the corner looking rather uncomfortable. aria, who was meant to be rooming with baekhyun, looked over and saw his mouth curled downwards slightly. 

“baekhyun-oppa, is it ok if i room with taeyongie-oppa tonight? i ran out of my tablets, and he has some in his bag..”

baekhyun looked down at her with a small smile and agreed, while the edited captions on the video appeared with the words, “a cute maknae asking to room with a younger member..”

➣ TEN ☾ tenaria

Whipped™

so so gone for her its upsetting actually

yangyang and aria share the position of his baby

except aria willingly accepts the title while yangyang would rather fling himself from a rooftop

ten’s instagram is half his cats, half miyazu aria

he posts her dancing practice on his story a lot, with a variety of captions ranging from “thats my baby  ♡( ◡‿◡ )” to “yah that’s not right…(눈_눈)”

such an enabler for her bad ideas

aria wants to go shopping at 4am? ten agrees, now they’re sitting by han river eating ice cream

pls he’s gonna get her in so much trouble one day

when they walk together, ten likes to take her hand and put it in his pocket

its under the pretense of not wanting her to get lost

he just wants to hold her hand

yes he has lost her in a shopping mall, and NO it wasn’t his fault

ten always complains that they never have schedules together and he misses his baby

“we have superm-” “I NEVER SEE YOUUUU (ﾉಥ益ಥ)ﾉ”

if they’re in the same room ten is either watching her out of the corner of his eye, or is actually wrapped around her like a boa constrictor

hugs n kithes all around

only he is allowed make fun of her mistakes in dancing

anyone else gets deaded. he will fight for her honor how dare you insult his baby

sm give these ttwo a dancing duo video pls

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.

the first and only time aria and ten had a duet was during their last concert on superm’s first world tour. during the second half of ten’s solo performance, aria emerged from the left side of the stage, coming to join him in the centre stage. no one had ever seen aria as serious as she was then, both herself and ten becoming completely different people in the moment. midway through, aria spun with her back to ten and leaped backwards into the air - eyes closed - completely trusting ten to be where she needed him to be to catch her.

➣ LUCAS ☾ arihei

besties

please they’re so cute together - tol child next to tini child she barely comes up to his chest :(

bear hugs

he just swamps her in his arms, and when he doesn’t feel like being bent over he picks her up

complains that she’s too heavy but then immediately after will throw her around like a softball

someone tell this man to be careful with her she’s not a barbie doll

singular braincell energy

don’t get it wrong, they’re both super smart

so it’s just - being smort together, but then nearly dying because neither of them remembered that you couldn’t eat raw cookie dough when there are eggs in it

she adores how he’s so confident in the things that he does - like convincing the entire nct fandom that he was fluent in english? king behaviour

so aria looks up to him (literally) but also because she wants to have that confidence some day

lucas says they’re not close and then aria pouts and he takes it all back

nczennies made a 14 minute compilation titled “lucas melting like a popsicle in australia for aria”

and literally what the title tells you, this man goes :(( when he sees her

lucas was actually the person to convince her to go ahead with the [redacted] proposal - and reminded her that it was too good an opportunity to pass up just because she felt like she was outgrowing the boys

he’s so proud of her

and she’s so proud of him

they’re so proud of each other and it makes nczennies want to cry because they never are seen together

sm stop separating the platonic soulmates first markhyuck and now arihei smh

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.

during a photoshoot, aria was standing off to the side of the boys, dressed in white suit to contrast the boys’ black ones. the photographer was calling out to her to get her to move closer, but she couldn’t hear him from so far away, and so lucas (who was on the end) just walked over to her, gripped her by the biceps and lifted her vertically and to the left a little bit. 

“luc-LUCAS?”

“you had to move :)”

➣ MARK ☾ mari

½ of the best friend crew

honestly at the beginning, mark and aria weren’t very close, having only really seen each other in passing or with johnny

but after being dropped into training together the two quickly became fast friends, and now they’re borderline inseparable

you thought you knew pain? watch aria’s reaction to mark’s graduation from dream :)

mark’s the reason why aria felt confident enough to pitch some of her lyric ideas to the team, after staying up until 4am to help her make some edits so she was as confident as possible

kinda just, rests his head on her shoulder? and wraps his arms around her waist when he’s tired

mari being confused in foreigner: ???

aria said once in a vlive that she finds mark really comforting to be around - when she feels stressed or worried about something she’ll go to mark’s room and just sit on his bed for a while

aria is so close with his parents - “ahh, how’s my favourite child” “i’m doing great mom.” “no not you, how’s aria?” “wh-hu-MOM?”

you’d swear sometimes mark is younger than her, considering the pout he puts on and how much he whines when they’re not on the same team together for promotions

mark big protecc boi but also little small cuddly boi

they’re so soft for each other ( ╥ω╥ )

in one of the fancams for mark’s solo stage during superm, someone zoomed into aria singing along with him in the wings and dancing to herself with the Proudest Smile™

he’s! so! proud! of! her! constantly! she could be walking and he’d be like “omg get it”

when aria refuses to get up and make herself food (this happens way too often, she just gets into the groove of her work and doesn’t want to move) mark gets her to by threatening to do it himself

consistently caught by czennies just standing behind her and holding her hand in crowded areas - airports, waiting rooms, etc.

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.

mark and aria were standing off to one side as the mc explained the rules of the game they were about to be playing. mark looked totally confused, and elbowed aria in her side before looking down and mouthing “what?” to her. aria opened her mouth, before closing it and looking down at the ground, muttering to herself, “결합… 結合….. le chéile…. le… le.. oh oh - combined! we have to put them together, markie.”

and thus, a new confusion meme was born

[xenteaart]

Black Tights and Other Things

Pairing: Five Hargreeves x Reader

Summary: It was initially insipred by a request about Five seeing Reader wearing a dress for the first time but I lost it, and also took the request in a completely different direction lol. I deeply apologize, I suck at writing requests honestly.

The actual summary: Five catches you dancing and has a little epiphany.

Warnings: this fic explores ideas of femininity and is very likely not gonna be a good read for gender non-conforming folks, so sorry about that.

GIF not mine! if u know the owner pls let me know so i can credit them

Note: it was mainly based on my own experience and i guess i just had to reflect on it smh and Five literally has more of a featured role in this ngl :’D

also yea it fits into my Commission AU so just a reminder, they’re both in their 20s.

P.s. ladies, dance in your underwear in front of a mirror, don’t deprive yourself of reconnecting with your inner,,, divine. lol i’m not in a cult i promise it just feels very good

The one thing you’d missed the most, apart from hot showers, fresh food and other obvious life-saving necessities, was music. During your stay in the absolute nightmare that your post-apocalyptic life was, you weren’t fortunate enough to stumble upon a record player or, in fact, anything that was even remotely fit to produce sounds resembling melodies. Sure, you did play tin cans and pieces of wood out of boredom, making very simplistic copies of actual instruments out of them, like drums or a xylophone, but it was barely enough to satisfy your craving for proper music.

So now, being a Commission recruit and having your own flat and access to the wonders of civilization, you couldn’t help but take advantage of all the things that you’d been longing for, one of them being music.

You and Five were having a very well-deserved day off and decided to reward yourselves with some nice filling dinner. Five volunteered to do the grocery shopping for the ingredients while you chose to stay indoors, and when he came back, holding bags full of goods in his arms, the image that he was met with stopped him dead in his tracks.

You were only wearing your underwear and a pair of black half-transparent tights, which sort of looked like you were getting dressed but got distracted halfway. The outfit itself, or lack thereof, wasn’t at all an unusual occurrence, considering how each other’s nudity and physiology hardly ever bothered either of you after years of doing whatever it took to keep the other alive.

It was your dancing that took Five by surprise. As he eyed your figure briefly, he took notice of how the line of your tights was sitting on your waist securely, framing your form in a flattering way and defining the curves that you got after gaining some weight you’d been desperately missing.

In your days in the apocalypse, you felt like your body was your prison. Or rather, you were a slave of your own body. It needed food, sleep and warmth to keep living, and your entire existence was narrated by the weak and needy vehicle that you had to take care of. There was truly nothing pretty about dull and brutal survival.

Right now, however, you felt yourself regaining control as you were no longer your body’s servant and instead it was yours. It was healthier, stronger, and it was complying to your every wish and command.

As your entire being, mind and flesh, surrendered to the raw ecstasy of your dance, you completely forgot there was anything at all in the world besides yourself and the music, the waves of which you were surfing so smoothly and naturally that the slight clumsiness and awkwardness of some of your movements were only adding to the charm.

There was no choreography behind the action; your every swing and turn being mindless and somewhat intuitive as you allowed yourself to dissolve into the tunes of the song you were dancing to.

As Five was looking at you silently, he was struggling to put his finger on what exactly was so special about what was happening but he knew there was clearly something.

You didn’t really think of yourselves as a boy and a girl, or a man and a woman. Back in the apocalypse, there was hardly anything left of the norms you’d learnt in your before life, which meant you were merely two human beings, completely stripped of their gender identity and expression, and it continued to be the way you perceived each other even after getting back to the normal (well, more or less, all things considered) world.

The concept of having some sort of intrinsic differences was getting more and more blurred as you saw each other as perfectly equal, which you totally were. Equal, however, did not mean the same, and that was exactly what you both tended to forget in your day-to-day life.

As Five was watching you move to the music carefree, he came to realize he was witnessing what he never knew was there in the first place.

It was fair to say that after spending so much time together Five basically knew you inside out. He knew you were caring and thoughtful. Outspoken, ill tempered and tough were a crucial part of the package as well, but right now he felt like he was getting a glimpse of this new unfamiliar layer, looking past everything he thought he knew about you before.

It was the unconditional femininity that was deeply embedded in the very fabric of your essence, burning with radiance like an exploding supernova, and the best thing about it was how blissfully unaware you were of its presence. Right in this moment, it seemed you didn’t have a care in the world and were simply dancing like no one was watching.

There was something so powerful about your inherent feminine nature mixed with how untamed yet tender and perfectly reliable you were, that Five didn’t even notice he’d been holding his breath.

He didn’t want to startle you and disrupt the flow you were so clearly lost in, literally immersed in some other dimension that he had no way of ever coming in contact with. It was yours and yours only, and it was beautiful.

Five was just standing there, leaning against the doorframe utterly mesmerized by how your body was seemingly guided and led by an invisible force. It took him a good couple of minutes to realize that this force was coming from within you, and the sheer unfiltered power radiating from your figure was, in fact, you all along. And he finally saw you for what you were. A woman.

“Oh, God,” he thought to himself, unable to deal with the sudden surge of feelings and thoughts that were overwhelming him all at once.

[beca-mitchell]

you are my favorite thing (1/1)

Summary: Beca and Chloe find themselves alone in their apartment after the instruction comes to self-isolate. Set pre-PP3. Just pretend PP3 doesn’t exist.

Notes: Apologies for this fic. It stuck with me...and I had to write it before it drove me crazy. I know it's not that good but hopefully it brings a small smidge of levity to your lives. <3 I promise I'm working on other stuff, just haven't been feeling well lately.

Word count: 3.1k

Rated M/E.

Read below or on AO3.

When the announcement came that it would be in everybody’s best interest to self-quarantine and self-isolate, Beca hadn’t really known what to expect. In fact, she feels kind of bad for not taking this more seriously and leaving Chloe to pick up the slack. Chloe, who had been almost zealously preparing for the “worst to come” by her standards.

And now, apparently the CDC’s standards.

With the rampant news updates and social media seemingly tearing itself apart at the seams, Beca kind of wishes she had picked a career that required her to be on her computer less but now as she lugs her two laptops and three pairs of headphones home from the label’s head office in midtown, she supposes that she has no choice.

“Oh good, you’re home,” Chloe says upon seeing her. She reaches out automatically to help Beca with her bags as Beca belabours the fact that they live on the fourth floor of their walk-up. She tries to smile gratefully at Chloe, but Chloe is already pacing across the small kitchen space in front of her.

“No welcome home?” Beca jokes. She shrugs off her blazer and moves towards the rack of clothes so she can hang it up neatly. Chloe quickly places a hand on her chest but before Beca has a chance to squawk indignantly at Chloe’s hand placement (Beca totally doesn’t think it’s nice or whatever...because she doesn’t care), Chloe stares at her seriously.

“Do we have enough groceries?”

“Did you eat all the groceries from two days ago?” Beca asks, confused. She turns on her heel to open the fridge to check. “Nope, we literally have all the food that we still haven’t eaten.”

Chloe slumps, moving to sit at the table instead. “Sorry, it’s just been super hectic today. I know we just went to get stuff, but my parents are stressing me out so much.”

Beca smiles sympathetically. “I get it, my dad was messaging me all day today. I told him it would be fine. It’s just a matter of waiting it out.” Beca injects some optimism into her tone. “Plus, Amy isn’t around this weekend so…” she trails off hoping Chloe will understand.

Chloe brightens. “Trashy television night?”

Internally Beca groans, but the smile on her face is genuine because it’s worth it to see Chloe smile.

— — — — —

So the whole having a crush on your captain/co-captain/best friend/bedmate thing?

Kind of overrated. Beca’s over it—or she wants to be over it.

She wants to stop thinking about how nice Chloe’s smile is or how effortlessly Chloe can lift her when she overenthusiastically hugs Beca.

Or how ridiculously happy Chloe makes her.

All those dumb things and dumb feelings that she never really felt to any extreme or significant levels with Jesse. And definitely not that one night stand after her break-up with Jesse.

It’s just that Chloe had somehow always been there, somehow slipping through the cracks and all the crevices of Beca’s carefully constructed walls—places that Beca didn’t even know were available to fall victim to Chloe’s special brand of love and care.

But if there’s one thing that Beca has come to love about Chloe, it is exactly that care—that specific way Chloe somehow makes her feel like she’s the most cherished person in a room. In the world, maybe.

It’s gross and cheesy.

Beca loves it.

It just kind of sucks that all of this pondering—all the pondering the world, maybe—wasn’t enough for Beca to be wary of what it would mean to be stuck twenty-four-seven in an enclosed space with the girl she’s in love with.

— — — — —

With how busy their lives have been, Beca realizes with a pang in her heart that she really hasn’t had time to just sit down with Chloe and just be. It’s Tuesday and after a weekend spent just catching up with Chloe and meal-prepping for the rest of the week, Beca realizes that this whole situation could be a lot worse.

I’ve missed you, is what she wants to say.

Like most things when it comes to her feelings for Chloe, it just sticks inside her head instead and she settles on saying good morning to Chloe.

“It feels weird,” Chloe admits, sitting down next to Beca on Tuesday morning. She scoots her chair closer to press her cheek against Beca’s shoulder.

Beca scrolls lazily through her social media feeds, a habit she picked up from Chloe. Naturally, her body turns into the warmth offered by Chloe’s close proximity. “What feels weird?”

Chloe sighs. It is a large enough sigh to shift Beca’s shoulder as Chloe moves against her. “Not having work.”

Unlike Beca who was permitted to work from home, Chloe’s supervisor suggested that she just take some time off. It wasn’t like Chloe was really being paid a lot to begin with, as a temporary veterinary assistant, but Beca knows that the blow must be hard on both the financial and emotional level.

“You can be my assistant for the day,” Beca suggests. “I have to finish finalizing a few tracks on this album. You can give me feedback. It’ll just be like the old days. Just, um, don’t tell anybody about it. And no posting on social media.”

Chloe immediately brightens at that, like Beca just offered her the entire world on a silver platter. The kiss that she presses to Beca’s cheek is absolutely worth it.

— — — — —

Chloe is, as Beca has always known, incredibly attentive. She also has no real concept of personal space.

Beca knows however, that if she had bothered to say anything to Chloe about that, Chloe would have backed off years ago, but Beca kind of likes that it’s their thing. Kind of.

So when Chloe leans right over her shoulder to watch her work, Beca says nothing.

Whatever.

This is way better than being stuck in an office.

— — — — —

“Hey,” Chloe says, drawing Beca’s eyes up from her screen. “I’m just going to shower, do you mind.”

Beca shakes her head, no, because she doesn’t mind. Chloe lives here too. Chloe can totally walk around half-naked if she wants. She’s confident about all that. Chloe can toss a towel over her shoulder and hum to herself. Chloe can squeeze Beca’s shoulder in affection. Chloe can step into their dingy bathtub, draw back the curtain and proceed to strip off all her clothes in front of Beca—almost quite literally—and just shower a few feet away from where Beca is accidentally deleting an important layer in her audio editing program.

Chloe can do whatever she wants because Beca and Chloe are roommates and that’s what roommates do.

— — — — —

Chloe doesn’t need to shower every day, Beca’s sure of it.

She’s not really complaining. It’s not like she can even see anything, though the reappearance of her rather vivid sex dreams about Chloe on Thursday night is alarming.

But honestly, Beca’s not really complaining even though she hundred percent moves her seat at the kitchen table on Friday so her back is towards the shower.

She thinks Chloe pouts at her on the way to her shower, but Beca’s too busy renaming arbitrary files on her computer to really pay attention to that.

— — — — —

It’s crazy that it is in these circumstances that Beca is really truly considering that she should just tell Chloe how she feels. It’s just hard, wanting to kiss Chloe all the time. It’s hard because they’re really and truly alone and Beca has nothing to do but stare at Chloe’s stupidly perfect face and her lips and she has to see her sweet smile.

It’s gross. Beca’s gross.

(It also doesn’t help that sometimes she catches Chloe staring back—with the same degree of affection to boot. The same care, affection, and desire in her eyes that Beca knows must be shooting out of her own like fucking spotlights.

But she supposes that she could be imagining it too.)

“Beca?” Chloe asks. “Are you watching?”

Chloe’s voice cuts through Beca’s thoughts gently. Beca gazes up at Chloe who has not moved her attention from the screen. She takes the moment to genty observe the curve of Chloe’s nose. The fullness of her lips. The way her lips gently part as she expels a breath.

“Yeah,” Beca says before slowly dragging her eyes back to the screen with some reluctance.

She’s fucked.

— — — — —

Beca Dude where are you

Fat Amy At a friend’s place, don’t wait up xoxoxo

Beca What???? Come home now Amy?????

— — — — —

“Remember college and how I said I wish I experimented more?”

Beca chokes on her water.

“N...yes? Why?” Beca demands, ignoring the way her heart races. Being in close proximity to Chloe tends to do that to her. Nothing new.

Chloe hums to herself. “Nothing. Just lots of time to think today.”

“Oh,” Beca says. “Okay.” She quickly refocuses on her work.

Chloe sighs and returns to her textbook.

— — — — —

Beca blames the long, extended time spent inside. She kind of forgets that they had dinner plans. Or that she probably should have sent that email to her boss.

It’s so easy to forget that they’ve been confined to their apartment for days, but Beca can’t complain.

Mostly because Chloe’s tongue is in her mouth doing absolutely sinful things.

And well—now they’re kind of tumbling onto their deeply uncomfortable but satisfactory for the moment bed, Beca grunting as her back hits the mattress heavily.

“Sorry,” Chloe pants out, drawing back. “Are you—”

“M’fine,” Beca mumbles, pulling Chloe back down for a kiss. Chloe responds eagerly, not-at-all minding that she had been cut off. Instead, she makes a happy little sound, curving her body neatly into Beca’s. The warmth of Chloe’s body on top of her own is driving Beca crazy—that and the distinct lack of friction between her own legs. “Wait,” Beca says, after pushing lightly at Chloe’s shoulders. “Wait—can you—”

Chloe’s brow furrows. “What is it?”

“Just…clothes,” Beca mumbles.

“Oh!” Chloe grins then. “So forward.”

Beca’s cheeks heat up spectacularly. She both loves and hates that Chloe can still tease her like this, even though they’ve both completely eviscerated whatever fragile lines they had set up in their already-confusing friendship.

Chloe, ever the master of making Beca feel many things at once, doesn’t stop there, however. She smiles, leans back—sits all the way upright for Beca’s viewing pleasure—and pulls off her shirt in a smooth motion that makes Beca’s mouth go dry.

Then, when Beca thinks that it can’t get worse…

“I like it when you’re forward,” Chloe murmurs, leaning back down to cup Beca’s cheeks before kissing her so thoroughly and deeply that Beca thinks she might soak through her jeans completely.

Speaking of her jeans—

Beca whimpers into Chloe’s mouth when she feels Chloe’s thumbs expertly popping open the button on her jeans before Chloe is pulling away again to slide the offending material down her legs. Beca scrambles to sit upright so she can pull off her shirt quickly.

It is all pent-up urgency and flying clothes as Chloe climbs back over her, all messy hair and flawless skin, and pulls her into another sweeping kiss. It ought to be illegal, the way Chloe’s tongue flicks through her mouth, desperately seeking out Beca’s. Chloe somehow has made making out a high-level art form and Beca is only all too willing to pay full price for admission to that particular show.

Beca has imagined this, she would be remiss if she weren’t going to admit it right off the bat. It is just difficult reconciling her imagination with this reality because the reality is making Beca’s imagination look very, very weak.

Chloe’s arms come around her, pressing against the mattress before Chloe is rolling them all at once. Beca groans, moving to straddle Chloe which proves to be a mistake, somewhat, because suddenly she can feel the ripple of Chloe’s stomach—damn abs—right against her soaked center. She bites her lip, leaning back slightly and watching with rapt attention as Chloe follows, folding Beca into her arms again.

“I want you so much,” Chloe rasps, voice hot and low against Beca’s neck. “Like, right now.”

Have me, Beca wants to say. I’m yours.

A whole slew of clichés float through Beca’s mind, but all she manages is a guttural moan because Chloe chooses that mount to eagerly palm Beca’s stiff nipple while sucking a nasty hickey into the side of her neck.

“Was that a yes?” Chloe murmurs.

“Fuck yes,” Beca grits out, holding Chloe’s head against her as Chloe’s kisses descend lower so she can envelop Beca’s neglected nipple in her mouth. The sensation of Chloe’s lips, her tongue, the graze of her teeth—all of it right against Beca’s sensitive flesh.

— — — — —

So how that happened is kind of a long story and it might or might not be Beca’s fault.

The short story is that Chloe wanted to watch a movie and Beca had agreed because movie nights with Chloe usually meant cuddling.

But strange times call for unexpected occurrences, though upon reflection, the build-up had been there all along.

(Literally. For years.)

Beca just didn’t really expect the whole making out thing. And the sex thing.

Oh—

And the whole ‘watching Chloe sleep next to her while she runs her fingers through beautiful red hair to calm herself down because her heart is threatening to burst out of her heart’ thing.

That thing.

— — — — —

“You’re horrible at picking up signals,” is the first thing Chloe says to her when Beca wakes up on a bright and sunny Saturday morning.

“I am,” Beca agrees, rolling into Chloe’s body with no intention of going outside ever again. “But maybe you’re horrible at dropping hints.”

“Maybe,” Chloe murmurs, breath hot against Beca’s mouth.

— — — — —

“So this is week two,” Beca says in the most dramatic voice she can muster. She grins at Chloe’s little delighted giggle as she pulls the sheets over both of their heads. It is early Monday and Beca’s phone has been on silent pretty much all weekend. She and Chloe pretty much only left the bed to shower and eat, both of which were activities that could be pleasantly underscored by sex.

“It is week two,” Chloe echoes, pulling Beca in for a slow, muted kiss. It reminds Beca of the kiss Chloe had woken her up with after their first time—the mild disorientation had faded away quickly.

“Whatever shall we do?”

— — — — —

Beca thinks that morning sex absolutely should be part of her regular routine—no matter the circumstances.

Chloe trails gentle fingers down Beca’s neck, between her breasts. Beca waits with heavy breaths, watching Chloe’s progress as she maps out invisible lines on Beca’s body, like an artist at work. Beca clenches her hands into fists, resisting the urge to pull Chloe into another messy kiss. She kind of likes this slower pace—this care and attention bestowed upon her. Chloe’s eyes are incredibly blue as they track over Beca’s body carefully, like she doesn’t want to miss a thing.

“You’re so…” Chloe trails off, sighing happily as she presses lazy kisses around the curve of Beca’s breast before leaning up to suck gently at her nipple. A familiar sensation now, Beca’s back still arches obediently as her breathing quickens.

She doesn’t need Chloe to finish her sentence. She just needs Chloe to continue whatever she’s doing. Naturally, Chloe settles between her legs after a few more torturous minutes of lavishing attention on Beca’s chest. Beca’s hips rock up impatiently, almost of their own accord. She is wholly aware of how uncomfortably wet she is and she knows she’s going to need another shower, but she doesn’t care about that at the moment. The ache between her legs only intensifies when Chloe’s fingers finally make their way to her aching clit.

“Oh fuck,” Beca mumbles. She slowly moves her hand to tangle her hand in Chloe’s hair, needing to feel Chloe closer on all accounts. She spreads her legs wider to accommodate her lover, heaving a breath when Chloe shifts closer still and leans up to press a kiss against Beca’s neck delicately.

“I think I love seeing you like this the most,” Chloe murmurs.

“Like—how?” Beca squeaks out when Chloe’s fingers press down more firmly against her clit. A soft whine escapes her lips.

“This. Spread open. For me.”

Chloe says that like it is the most natural thing she could say to Beca. She says it like she is simply discussing a reading assignment or that she thinks Beca should add another layer of harmonies.

Not at all like she's describing exactly how much Beca wants her; how wet she is; how much she needs Chloe between her legs before she combusts.

Beca pulls Chloe in for a messy kiss, already aching for Chloe’s tongue in her mouth. Chloe indulges her for a few moments, sweeping her fingers through her wet folds. Up, down. Around.

Beca cries out, muffled against Chloe’s mouth. She rips herself away from their kiss. “Chloe, please. Fuck me.”

Chloe grins and leans back in to nip at her lower lip gently. “I thought I was?”

Beca groans in frustration. Fucking tease. She tightens her legs around Chloe’s waist, moving her hips so that Chloe’s fingers almost slip inside her. At the sensation, her head falls back and she lets out a broken whimper.

“Oh,” Chloe murmurs. “You meant like this.” Chloe gently pushes a finger past her folds and Beca clenches hard around it. Chloe begins a slow rhythm, curling her finger every now and then. “And like this.”

It is such a slow, steady pace that Beca has no real reason to complain. Uncomfortably, her neck arches. She reaches down to grip at Chloe’s wrist with a trembling hand, but she does not stop her. “More,” she whimpers. Begs. “Please, baby, more.”

Chloe seems to perk up at the pet name (or the begging—Beca thinks she should do more research; she can absolutely do more research with all the time in the world at her disposal) and to her credit, she listens to Beca for once. She picks up the pace, this time adding a second finger to join the first. Beca grunts at the fullness, blinking up at the ceiling for a brief moment before she squeezes her eyes shut only to see stars explode behind her eyelids. She grunts again, louder, slackening her grip on Chloe’s wrist. Automatically, her hand drifts to her momentarily-neglected clit and she rubs at it with as much pressure as she dares.

Chloe growls—full-on growls—and nips at her throat before using her free hand to move Beca’s hand out of the way. “I want to,” is all she says when Beca opens her eyes, ready to demand Chloe explain herself.

Oh.

Well, if Chloe wants to do that, Beca isn’t going to stop her. They’ve got weeks to figure it out.

— — — — —

Beca Amy, nvm, you should probably stay exactly where you are Just to be safe yknow thanks

fin.

[darlinvandijk]

Valentine’s Disaster

Concept: Haven’t posted in awhile, I’m very sorry about that, but here’s a nice surprise holiday post while I work on getting myself back to normal. I wrote this today so hopefully it’s not too terrible and rushed, because trust me it’s very rushed. I love you all very much and hope your day is filled with love and happiness. (Ps. Will you be my valentine?) I hope you enjoy :)

I groggily roll over, reaching my arm out to grab onto my boyfriend, only to end up disappointingly grasping cold sheets. Lately Ruel has been in the studio everyday, from sunrise to sunset, coming home so tired to the point that all he does is sleep, leaving us with no time to actually spend together. I just want to be able to spend one day with him, where it’s just us for once, especially on a day like today. I sit up, looking around for any sign of him, instantly spotting what appears to be a sticky note on his bedside table. I roll across the bed to his side, peeling the note off of the table, just to end up with a stomach sinking feeling of disappointment. I keep rereading the note, ‘Didn’t want to wake you, in studio today for new tracks , love you’, a feeling of loneliness taking over my body. I grab my phone, checking for any notifications that maybe Ruel texted me something cute, only to see texts from his sisters and mom, telling me they’re having flowers delivered today for me from them.

I drag myself out of bed, slowly pulling myself into the bathroom so that I can wash up for the morning, even though it’s 12 since I slept in today. I set my phone up with the speaker, hitting play on favorite playlist, before getting into the steaming shower. As I stand under the hot spray of the water, letting it wash all over my skin, I can’t help but think about how everyone I know will be with their boyfriends and girlfriends. They’re all going to be lovey dovey with each other, whereas I’m going to be right here at home, because mine just so happened to forget. My heart clenches as the reality of him forgetting sets in, causing me to finish up my shower with teary eyes.

I pull on a pair of shorts and Ruels golf hoodie, getting ready to spend my day cleaning up the apartment. As I walk out of the room, sliding in my favorite fuzzy socks he got me for Christmas, I can’t help but have a sense of hope fill me. That hope vanishes as soon as I found the corner, seeing that the living room and dining room are indeed empty, no sign of a Valentine’s surprise anywhere. I shrug off the sad reality and get to work on the living room, sliding around and singing along to my favorite songs, hoping to put myself into a better mood.

My singing instantly gets cut off as I hear my phone ring, filling me up with excitement that my bubs might be calling me, causing me to answer without looking at the number calling. “Hey babes! How’s your day going? My brother get you anything I can make fun of him for, we both know he’s such a sap for you” Coco laughs out, Sylvies laugh echoing in the background. I let out a small laugh, sad that it wasn’t my boyfriend, but even more sad that the girls are giving me more attention than he is. I ponder how to reply for a few seconds, knowing that no matter what I say, Coco is going to lose her mind.

“Actually Co, he’s in the studio today, left me a note on his bedside that I woke up to. No flowers, chocolates, or even a text. Like he actually forgot. ” I softly hum out, picking at the sleeves of his hoodie. The call hangs up, causing me to look at my phone with wide eyes, only for it to light up with an incoming FaceTime call. I answer the call, letting out a laugh as Sylvie and Cocos faces are practically pressed against the camera, both of them watching me in shock.

“You’re fucking with me, there’s no way he forgot! Like are you sure he’s just not surprising you with something later today?” Sylvie questions, finding it hard to believe her brother would forget a day like this. I give them a small shrug, turning the camera and showing them the empty apartment, completely free of any surprises. I watch the looks of disappoint that fill their faces, laughing at how they’re just as bothered by it as I am.

“This makes no sense, he literally uses any excuse to spoil you, and uh like it’s Valentine’s? He’s an idiot, I’m sorry babes, I know how much you look forward to celebrating any sort of holiday with him since he’s gone so much” Coco tells me with a small frown gracing her lips, I give her a soft smile back, not wanting the girls to feel bad for something they had no control over. We talk for a little longer, before both girls frown, having to leave for their own separate dates today. I reassure them that I’m okay, sending them off with a grin and blowing a kiss before I end the call, leaving me to sit on the couch with a deep frown glued to my face.

I finish cleaning the place around 3 pm, before settling back onto the couch, this time with a blanket as I put on a movie to keep myself occupied. I get up and walk to the door, opening it to see a delivery man, holding a bouquet of light pink roses out to me. A grin instantly takes over my face at the sight of the flowers, the first real smile I’ve had all day today. “Hello miss, these are for you, and I had special instructions to tell you that these are for you from the best Van Dijk and others” the delivery man states, reading off of a card, causing me to let out a laugh, knowing Coco did that without Kate and Sylvie knowing. I thank him and close the door, making my way to the dining room, setting the flowers into a vase with water on the dining room table, smiling at the way they seemed to light up the room.

I get my phone out and take a short video of the flowers, posting it onto my story with hearts and the caption “from my loves”, knowing Coco and Sylvie would be checking their phones all day until I made a post about their loving surprise. I take one last look at the flowers before grabbing my blanket off of the couch in the living room, and making my way into our shared bedroom, deciding to just spend the rest of my day watching Netflix in the comforts of my bed.

Two hours pass and I’m scrolling through my phone as a movie plays on in the background, when I get a notification from the Van Dijk family group chat, causing me to instantly tense up knowing Ruel is in it. I open it up to end up seeing that it’s Kate asking everyone to send pictures from today so she can post them on Facebook, causing me to instantly cringe that she didn’t know what happened and Ruel was about to get called out.

Before I can even reply to her, in hopes that I can divert the attention from Valentine’s pictures, Ruel replies. I read his text that says ‘Pictures of what? I’m at the studio rn so’, annoyance instantly setting in at how he can’t remember something like this, but I can put in the effort to remember even the smallest of important dates for him. I sit there waiting for someone to reply, because I know damn well I’m not going to be the one to do it first. All of a sudden pictures from Sylvie and Coco come in of them with their boyfriends, just them and their gifts and flowers and balloons, giving me the inspiration to send my own photo to the group chat. I go out to where my flowers sit, setting my phone up with a timer, as I sit on the table with my giant bouquet right next to me, flashing the camera a cheesy grin. I look at the picture and laugh, knowing Kate is going to love it, before hitting send.

All of the girls react to my photo with a heart, even Ralph reacts to it with a heart, before my phone is lit up with an incoming phone call. I let it ring for a few seconds before answering it, already knowing that he still doesn’t remember what today was, and was probably going to jump to conclusions. Let’s just say that usually I’d think jealous Ruel was cute, but when I’m also pissed off, it becomes a lot less endearing. Before I can even say hello to him, he’s already spewing out words, unaware of the thin line he’s riding on.

“Who the fuck sent you flowers, because I know it wasn’t me. Just saw that you also have a post for them? Who are you calling ‘love’, is it that one friend of yours? What’s his name, Matt? The same one that continuously blows up your phone, you told me he was just a-“ He spits out, completely taking me off guard. I let him go on for a bit, before taking a deep breath and cutting him off, because if anyone is going to look like an ass, it’s going to be him.

“Trust me, I think we all know you weren’t the one to get me flowers Ruel. Also if you would have read my post more closely, instead of jumping to a conclusion, you would have seen that it was plural! It was loves, not love, because it was from your family asshole-“ I hiss out, all my pent up emotions from the day finally bursting out, leaving Ruel completely silent on the other end. I take a few deep breaths to ease my shaky breathing before continuing. “Also Matt? Like really? You’re going to accuse me of talking to another guy, when you know I’d never do that, you know you’re the only guy in my life. He’s also like 25 and oh I don’t know, engaged!” I yell out, completely fed up with how my day had turned out.

“What? Why did they send you flowers then? Not like you’ve done anything lately to deserve them” He snaps out, both of us feeding off of each other’s aggravation, making us spew out insults we both don’t mean. I feel my anger just dissipate, leaving me to sit here, my shaky breathing the only thing you could hear in the silence, my eyes turning glossy with unshed tears. I sniffle and wipe at my eyes, feeling the disappointment from the whole day turn into hurt.

“You’re an asshole, you know that? Have fun by yourself tonight and sleep on the couch, like I’m sorry I just wanted to spend time with my boyfriend today, but now I don’t want to talk to you anymore for the rest of the day-“ I spit out, my voice cracking with emotion. I hear a sharp intake on the other end from Ruel, him finally realizing that he passed pissing me off. I take in a deep breath before finishing off the call, “oh and Happy Valentine’s Day.” I emotionlessly state, hearing him about to say something, but getting cut off as I hang up the phone. I walk back into our bedroom and lock the door, deciding to just take a nap, but not wanting him to show up while I’m asleep and try to talk to me. I get under the blankets and grab Ruels pillow, curling my body around it, before falling asleep with tears slowly sliding down my face.

I finally wake up from my nap and lean over to grab my phone so that I can check the time, seeing that it’s already 8 pm and that I have about 20 unopened texts from Ruel. I sit there silently and listen to see if I can hear him in the living room, only to be met with silence, meaning he probably decided to just stay at his family’s house for the night. My stomach rumbles, causing me to get up so I can first go to the bathroom and rinse off my red and puffy tear streaked face, and then slowly make my way out of the bedroom to search for food.

I freeze as soon as I walk out of the room, looking at the trail of rose petals that I’m stepping on, the string lights on the floor of the hallway illuminating the rose path, and all the different pictures of us or candids of me that I’ve never seen before lining both sides of the hallway. I feel my eyes start to well up with tears as I see just how many photos he’s taken of me throughout the years, photos of me that he’s kept saved for himself to look at when he’s not with me. I let out a choked sob as I walk down the hallway, looking from side to side at all the pictures, before making it to the end of the trail, looking up and instantly letting the tears fall down my face. In front of me stands Ruel, holding the biggest bouquet of red roses that he could probably find on such short notice.

“I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry sweetheart, I didn’t mean anything I said, or any of the things I tried to say you were doing. I know saying sorry isn’t enough, but I hope you’ll be able to forgive me for being an ass. I’m sorry that I forgot about today, I should have been here with you-“ he starts off, his eyes slightly red rimmed, and his hands shaky as he passes me the bouquet that I can barely hold. I watch him with wide eyes, the tears still silently making their way down my face, completely in awe at everything surrounding me. “I was frustrated at the studio and took it out on you, it was an asshole move I know. I love you more than I could even describe, you’re my best friend and the person I plan on spending the rest of my life with. But I uhm got you some things in hopes of trying to make it up to you as much as I could on short notice” he mumbles out, scratching the back of his neck as he motions around us. I ignore his motion to the stuff around us, feeling my heart swell with guilt as the green eyed boy in front of me pleads with me to forgive him, knowing that he didn’t mean to hurt me.

“I love you so much bubs, you’re my everything. I’m sorry for everything I said and how mad I was. I don’t care about Valentine’s Day, I just wanted an excuse to be able to spend a whole day with you and only have your attention on me and not work. It was selfish of me to be so angry.” I mumble before I pass him back the flowers to look around the room that he’s anxiously waiting for me to hurry up and see, my eyes end up scanning across a basket filled with my favorite candy, a giant tan teddy bear laying across our couch, vases of red roses scattered throughout the living and dining room, rose petals across the floor, balloons in the corner of the room, and then a little box that is now in Ruels hand? I slowly shuffle towards him, watching as he sets my flowers down and anxiously plays with the little box in his hands. I open my mouth to ask him what it is, only for him to shove the box into my hands and scratch the back of his neck anxiously.

“Ruel what’s this? You’ve already gotten me more than enough, I promise it’s okay. Like literally this is the most that anyone’s ever done for me, I really don’t deserve you” I softly state, trying to give him the box back, only for him to move out of my reach and tell me to open the box. I look down at it and open it, only to be left perplexed by what’s in my hands. I lift it out of the box, looking on both sides for any sort of engraving, coming up blank when I find none. He takes in a deep breath, his face starting to take on a pink hue, letting me know how nervous he is. He walks up to me and pulls me into a hug, kissing the top of my head softly, before pulling back a little with his arms still around my waist.

“I-i was actually going to do this a different day, but I figured it would be better to do this now. I want you to know how much I love you and how dedicated I am to our future together.. so that’s ours” he whispers, pressing a kiss to my forehead as I watch him in confusion. I look at it as it rests in my hand, trying to understand what this boy was trying to surprise me with.

“What is ours bubs? I literally don’t know what this is for-” I slightly laugh out, trying to piece it all together. Ruel grabs it out of my hands and pulls his phone out of his pocket, scrolling until he lands on whatever it was he was looking for. He turns the phone to me, causing my head to snap up, staring into his eyes with nothing but love. I jump onto him, his arms instantly wrapping around me and holding me as tight as he can, both of us sniffling from the tears leaking from our eyes. “Are you being serious?” I choke out, pulling back a little bit, watching as his green eyes studied my face with adoration.

“I hope you like it sweetheart, Happy Valentine’s Day-” he mumbles into my ear, swaying us side to side as he holds me against him. I clutch onto him, gripping him as tight as possible as my heart feels like it’s going to beat out of my chest. My head already filled with all the ideas and possibilities that are soon to come, all with the man I love more than anything. “I can’t wait to start my life with you bubba, because that key to our new house is only the beginning” he states, my hands instantly tangling in his hair as I smash his lips against mine. Honestly who would’ve thought a disastrous Valentine’s Day would be able to become one of the best days of my life.

But now that we have a house and get to really start on our future together, the real question is... is there a proposal on the way?

[soyouareandrewdobson]

Alex ze Pirate Mini Review 2: Underappreciated and how Sam should deal with an abuser.

Last time I gave a general overview of how Sam is treated by his “friends”. Now I want to give a more specific example, that will also show how Dobson’s storytelling abilities are not really all that good, particularly when it comes to pacing or building up any sort of conflict.

You see, for the most part Alex ze Pirate is just a collection of stupid artwork (not even concept art, just random artwork Dobson makes of his characters dressed as something random) and one page strips with a stupid punchline, with Sam most of the time being the receiving punching bag.

There have however been a few individual, short stories over time. And when I say short stories, I mean short. As in 15 pages for a very cheap set up, a few jokes and a punchline. Those include stories such as All that Glitters (where everyone except Alex breaks into a fortress to steal something), The Wish Fish (the only halfway okay story of them all because it is just meant to be comedic) and Best Laid Plans. However, near the end of the initial run of AzP, Dobson did a three part story (partly) focused on Sam in that format, which started off with the chapter I want to talk in this post: “Underappreciated”.

As you can see, the chapter starts off following some basic rules of storytelling in comics. Two establishing panels for the location at which the story takes place initially and showing what Sam’s duties are. Nothing really bad yet. The only thing that sticks out being just the fact that a) Sam does not have his own bedroom and has to sleep in a useless outlook and b) he sleeps in his regular clothes. But hey, nothing to get upset about initially, perhaps he just prefers it like this at the moment. But with the next two pages…

The problems start to show. Page three establishing that Atea herself is just a cunt who can’t even have the basic decency of wishing her “friend” a good morning or giving him a thank you for bringing a morning beverage as she has other selfish priorities on her mind. Like wanting to lick the shower water of Alex’s skin.

Also, go fuck yourself Uncle Peggy. As in, get both your arms ripped off, shoved up your butthole with those hooks and then get hanged on those stomps like a chandelier. I wouldn’t even mind the fact here that Peggy left a mess, if the face he makes in the last panel was not obvious of the fact he left the bathroom like this on purpose and that he is rather happy of making Sam’s day extra miserable by the fecal matter he left behind. Combined with any previous strip of the comic showing that Peggy for no reason likes to get the boy in trouble and even wants to see him die, this just shows once more of how much of an asshole he is. If the last panel just showed him with a groogy hangover look, obviously unaware of how much discomfort he brings unintentionally to Sam, that would be one thing. But intentionally making Sam’s day miserable despite the obvious fact the boy is the first one to do anything around here, while making one of the worst drawn “HAHA, I am such a rascal faces” I have ever seen (and I have seen shitty anime en mass) makes me hate the character more than Dobson intented.

And then there is page 5…

And it is in my opinion the saddest page in the entire comic arc, even compared to the “heartbreaking” stuff Dobson wants to pull up in the last third of it. Because though it is meant as a joke, the general execution is too cruel, crossing into “dude, not funny” territory and showing just how little the crew cares for Sam. Talus, Sam’s “best friend” not even aware he is around, everyone stealing Sam’s food with that stupid “Yoink” sound (seriously, I wish the characters would get punched in the vaginas each time they make this sound in any of Dobson’s strips) and then leaving Sam behind with smug faces, ready to do whatever they want to do, while he, likely stinking of feces and not even having showered properly, has also to clean up after those pigs, who can’t even eat in a proper manner ( hey Atea, use a fork instead of holding the bowl) and silently. I mean, they are pretty much pigs when the noises they make are loud enough, they make the font of the writing change randomly into whatever Dobson has on his computer with every sound. Not to forget the mess they leave behind. And they call Sam the Slob?

Anyway, on to the next page…

And who the heck left their Hello Kitty toy in the bathtub? Also, I hate the way Alex’s face is drawn in the lower left corner. Something about the eyes in relation to the shit eating grin just looks off. Less “smug” and gleefully awaiting whatever she plans next and looking more like Dobson when someone tells him his opinion and reasoning for it is bad, but he can’t yell back at them because they are part of a minority and so he has make a “good face” to a bad situation, while internally he is already imagining how to strawman them in some fake news worthy facebook post.

And then we get to page 7. Which features the WORST addition to the “Alex ze Pirate” canon Dobson has ever thought up. An embodiment of what is wrong with Dobson when it comes to inserting internet culture related stuff into his own work. Ladies and gentlemen… the lolcat pirates

Yeah, those Hello Kitty rejects who ironically look still more like a proper cat than Spot in Danny and Spot, are essentially one of the worst jokes Dobson has ever created. Because they are a joke without a punchline. See, all there is to them is that they are sentient cats, that speak in a manner associated with lolcat posting. And that is the “joke”. Their speech pattern being based on a dumb internet meme that was popular at the time Dobson drew this page. It is like if you portray an Asian by making them talk with a shitty racist accent and that supposedly counts already as comedy. It is not funny, because there is nothing really done with it in context of the story. Like no one addresses the weird way they talk. Also, with the font Dobson uses, it is just an eyesore to any reader and the text gets aggravating the more the captain of the cats talks. It shows why lolcat pictures only had very short sentences accompanying the pics, cause reading more than 8 words written in this manner tingles a part of your brain that makes you want to shout “English motherfucker, do you speak it”?

Don’t get me even started on how the joke would get lost to anyone unaware of lolcats and how dated the joke already was back when the page was posted, which is one of many reasons why comic artists should just in general avoid memes in their work, if they hope for it to pass the test of time. Instead let me just point out the fact that though Alex said “All hands prepared for casting off” on the previous page (which is also a very unnatural way to give the order “Everyone get ready! Take off in 10 minutes”) not all hands are on board, seeing how Uncle Peggy is missing on this page (and spoilers) many pages of this afterwards. Weird. I thought he would be onboard the moment Alex mentioned they are going to hijack a ship full of pussy. Lastly, this is Alex being a “badass”? Taking over a ship full of little furballs you can defeat with a laserpointer, a squeaky toy and catnip? Sam, this is not just “almost” embarrassingly easy, this is literally on a level similar to stealing candy from a baby. That is mentally handicapped. And without supervision. In a candy story.

At least it turns out there is genuinely something worth stealing on this ship. Otherwise all Alex would have accomplished on that very day would have been animal abuse for the sake of entertainment. Though now it also gets me thinking: A place called Katsville, the revelation that the captain is supposedly the child of a high ranking military feline within the sea force of an entire species of sentient cats… how exactly does the world of Alex ze Pirate function? Look, I do not want to get into too much detail about this point here yet, because it is a bigger issue with the worldbuilding (or rather lack thereof) of this series in general, but what is the “consistency” when it comes to races and species in this world? See, One Piece for example is overall a very “cartoonish” and fantastic world (more cartoonish than what Dobson creates on average) when you think of the fact there are fish men, giant seacows and seamonsters, sentient furry creatures, islands in the sky, sentient weather phenomenons etc next to humans. And while Oda does not really spend time elaborating in very high detail how his world works, the sheer abundance of those elements and how they were established pretty early on in the story and are revisited constanly, with the cartoonish flavor and humor of One Piece on top of it, makes those oddities feel organic and a part of the world.

Not so much in AzP. Here over 90% of the time any character not related to the crew is some generically drawn human, in a very generically human setting with jokes just not cartoonish enough. So the world of AzP feels more “realistic” and less oddish, making then things like Talus, the lolcat pirates and once a giant sea dragon that looked like Elliot’s rejected cousin

Stand out like a sour thumb that looks like this

But I digress. Lets see what makes Sam, who just seems bored and wants to end his miserable life/drink his sorrows away, throw the cat captain against the wall.

Okay. Sam’s overall reaction makes it clear, the locket is important. So “kudos” for establishing this and in doing so also create within a moment a bit of intrigue for the reader. After all, why does this locket get such a reaction out of Sam, who we know so far as more happy go lucky or deadpan in parts, instead of looking genuinely distraught. Heck, the fact he even tells Alex to shut up when she commands him around should highlight how out of character finding this locket truly makes Sam.

Then there is Alex’s reaction to being told to shut up, which she takes with as much dignity as someone telling Dobson to just stop fawning about underaged lesbians in a toddler show.

Jesus Christ, she faces being told she looks like a guy with more grace than that. I mean, isn’t she used to being told to shut her trap? Cause if I were her parents, I would have told this entitled redheaded whinner a few times over the course of her childhood to shut up.

Scum sucking cabin boy… said by a butt ugly whore who would genuinely suck scum off if it means she can finally get laid instead of being mistaken for a man. By the way, with that angry face she makes in the first panel, I can totally see why others would mistake her for a dude. She just looks unpleasant and not in a funny way like that red panda girl from Aggretsuko. See, when she gets angry, it looks hilarious and cute because of the contrast to how the character looks ordinarily. This is just Alex looking even more unpleasant as usual.

Now, before I continue with the next pages, I like to point out the face Sam makes in the upper panel and Sam’s overall body language in the last one.

It is obvious that Sam is meant to be in a state of mind where he knows for what he is getting yelled at and where he genuinely reacts in a hurt manner. His body shaking, his head tilted down, not saying even a word. You would expect that the next page of this comic would be a follow up. Seeing Sam, who is pent up, lashing out in some way. Either for example by justifying why he said it, getting sad, angry, perhaps even violent in that situation. After all, so far the way this story has been structured, a lot of emphasize was put on the fact that Sam is treated not well and that finding this locket actually has an uncommon effect on him. Heck, even the title of this chapter hints on the idea, that we should get some sort of huge reaction out of Sam now on the next page, as this is supposed to be Sam’s story.

Instead it is just Alex grumbling and grinding her teeth, unable to comprehend that someone finally told her something every reader with more than 20 braincells said when reading this comic series. And this in my opinion is from a structural point, one of the biggest missteps in this story. Obviously, this is supposed to be a comic about Sam, based on title and him being the one character in it with the most emotional aspects so far. And it is also obvious that this is not just meant to be a silly gag comic but supposedly one with emotional weight. So, where is that weight so far, aside from the panels showing Sam being miserable because he gets the short end of the stick by his friends? Sorry to hijack this thing here now with my own ideas, but if I had writen this story, page 12 and 13 would have actually been an immense turning point for me in the dynamic so far. Why I would have let Alex shout at Sam for insubordination, I would have made it more than one panel of Alex calling him scum and also end likely with Sam, who obviously reaches a limit the longer she goes on about it, end punching her in the face, perhaps even knock out. Show truly just how far Sam is pushed emotionally at this moment, keeping it however ambiguous if he hit her because of her words hurting or because of something else, in doing so focusing also the attention to the reader back on the locket.

As an aftermath of this, Alex would (if not knocked out) hit Sam back, much to Atea’s and Talus horror, later implying additionally that Sam left because of being hit by whom he thinks is not just his captain but a “friend” (oh yes spoiler, Sam is gone in the next chapter)   or the next page would be of Alex waking up back in her hideout from having been knocked out. Atea and Talus informing her what happened, her deciding to deal with Sam later on after recovering (who accompanied everyone back on the island temporarily) only for the last page showing Sam deciding that he is leaving the island, ending the chapter on Sam in a small boat slowly drifting away from the island. You know, something to give the chapter the feeling that the “shut up” moment is an emotional turning point in this story and that there might be something bigger going on that resulted in Sam deciding to leave, without having him however go full Meg Griffin as in the Family Guy episode “Seashell Seahorse Party”, chewing Alex and the others out for the way they treat him. Cause honestly, as much as I like for Alex, Atea and Talus to be chewed out and face consequences for their actions, doing so would likely just be (like in that Family guy episode)  a pointless fillerbuster in the bigger picture of things, as no real consequences would come out of it.

Well that and just like the writers of Family Guy, Dobson is just equally loathsome and thinks he can write whatever sick joke he wants and can on his characters, basic decency or consistency in writing be damned.

But back to the comic, where things just “end” as shown here instead of any real emotions boiling up and a cliffhanger that may genuinely beg the question what is going to happen next to anyone involved in this thing.

 Cause really, by the time it is night and Sam says it is time to go, you are not surprised he wants to go, even if he did not have a genuine emotional outburst within this chapter. After all, who wants to stay with “friends” like this, with Talus and Atea not even trying to cheer him up and instead ignoring his obvious need for comfort in this uncomfortable way, as if they are a bunch of racists trying to look away as someone beats a black person in front of them into a pulp. The only question you may ask yourself by the time the last page is hit, is who that generic looking girl is, whose picture has been photoshopped into the locket.

 Something we may not find out by the time the next chapter and part of this review hits, but will get to eventually. Until then guys, in order to end on something happier, funnier and just genuinely more pleasant than what this story presented to us so far, have something silly and Super Sentai related here for the sake of childish entertainment.

[trifoliate-undergrowth]

Jonah Magnus begrudgingly becomes a trans ally after putting himself in the wrong body “as a joke” and suffering

Concept: Dramatic Bastard Jonah “Hubris” Magnus decides to put his eyeballs in a female body for one of these bodyhops because he “thought it’d be fun”  (and also perhaps make that snippy young librarian Gertrude stop commenting on the fact that the Institute has never had a female Head and that she feels it’s high time they got their heads out of the Dark Ages and stopped ignoring half the population) and it BACKFIRES HORRIBLY 

(long post under the cut)

For one thing, half of his (actual, unstated) reasoning behind the switch was to spice up his third marriage with Peter, but Peter is Too Gay to Function(TM) and just takes one look at the new body and immediately books a year-long voyage to Siberia and leaves the country without so much as touching Jonah. 

And then Jonah has to deal with having a female body to take care of and absolutely no idea how one works because despite serving the Watcher he is, also, Too Gay to Function(TM) and has not prioritized information on how to handle having a coochie. He didn’t think it would be a big deal. He was wrong.

See, up until now Jonah Magnus has always picked young, twink-ish bodies that have at least a superficial resemblance to the young Jonah Magnus, and has assumed that being able to adjust to the slight differences just fine and even enjoying the changes means that he’s immune to dysphoria. 

Jonah Magnus is convinced that gender dysphoria is bullshit and that he’ll like a female body just fine because he wore drag once and had a fun time. Jonah Magnus has not thought this through. Jonah Magnus has not considered that “wearing drag as a man who enjoys being a man but also likes dresses” is actually different from “actually not being a man or comfortable in a man’s body”. 

Jonah Magnus figures out the difference very quickly. 

Jonah Magnus, King of Denial, writes it off as “needing to adjust to the new body” until he catches himself wishing he had that Leitner that makes you disappear bc he doesn’t want to be seen, or to have to see himself, in this body and he just wants it to disappear. 

The first barista at Jonah’s favorite coffee shop to call him “ma’am” gets to watch a grown woman visibly flinch at being properly addressed and then rush out of the store. The barista then violently remembers something embarrassing that happened to her in high school, and spends the next week suffering from nightmares about her worst memories. 

A man makes the mistake of catcalling some academic-looking librarian dame. She gives him a freezing look and suddenly he’s having violent flashbacks to all his worst experiences at once. He falls down on the street and has a nosebleed and eventually has to be picked up by the police and brought to a mental hospital because he’s raving like a lunatic. 

Jonah “Cannot Admit I Made a Mistake” Magnus, still trying to convince himself this isn’t that bad actually, catches himself making a mental schedule for showering As Little As Socially Acceptable so he doesn’t have to see himself naked. Jonah Magnus is usually fastidiously clean, and can’t stand the feel of going more than two days without a shower. Jonah Magnus suddenly prefers that to seeing himself naked any more than necessary. Jonah Magnus finally admits that he made a mistake. Jonah Magnus is starting to understand what the words “gender dysphoria” and also “male privilege” mean and he’s hating every moment of it. 

And then he forgets to take the birth control that this body was on and its period comes back with a vengeance and he does something he never does and calls Peter, screaming about how he’s LITERALLY DYING and Peter is like “you know women have periods right.” 

“WHAT” 

“Yeah they bleed every month” 

“They WHAT?? EVERY MONTH???” 

“...Jonah you serve the Eye. How do you not know basic human biology” 

Jonah “Too Proud to Admit that the Information on Coochie is Buried Under Years and Years of Occult Secrets and Sexy Robert Smirke Moments” Magnus: “I KNOW!! I JUST--IT’S COMPLETELY IRRATIONAL THAT IT HURTS THIS MUCH” 

“Yes” 

“THIS CAN’T BE NORMAL” 

“Yes it can” 

“I’M DYING AND ALSO I’M STAINING ALL MY SHEETS THIS IS HORRIBLE” 

“All of these are things I’ve heard my sisters say.” 

“NO IT--wait really” 

“They talked way too much. Really weren’t suited for Forsaken. I was so glad when they left. Partly because I was a squeamish little boy who really didn’t want to hear about their girl puberty issues any more” 

“Hang on, I’m NOT dying?” 

“Probably not. Do you have any painkillers? Get in a hot bath and wait it out.” 

“HOW LONG???” 

“Euuughgjs I dunno maybe like a week? Ask a woman” 

“A WEEK?? WHAT?? I’M GOING TO DIE PETER I CAN’T ENDURE THIS FOR A WEEK” 

“You.... didn’t think about this BEFORE you stole the body?” 

“Y-YES OF COURSE I DID” 

“Jonah Magnus, world’s greatest occultist and scholar, forgot to do his research?” 

“THAT’S NOT IT, I JUST DIDN’T THINK IT WOULD BE THIS BAD,,, PETER YOU’RE LYING TO ME PETER PLEASE TELL ME YOU’RE LYING I CAN’T TAKE A WEEK OF THIS PETER” 

“I said I don’t know. A week sounds right but I could be totally wrong. Ask a woman.” 

“I DON’T KNOW ANY WOMEN THAT I CAN ASK AWKWARD QUESTIONS OF” 

“Go to the library” 

“I CAN’T I’M IN PAIN AND BLEEDING ALL OVER EVERYTHING” 

“Oh, yeah, there should be stuff for that. You’re in, uh, the former body’s apartment right? She’s probably got like, what are they called? Feminine pads?” 

“WHAT? PETER I’M AN ADULT I’M NOT WEARING A DIAPER” 

“Okay, have fun getting the bloodstains out of everything you own.” 

“HOW DO WOMEN LIVE LIKE THIS” 

“I don’t know. Rather impressive really.” 

“FUCK” 

He caves and goes to young Gertrude and is like “listen if you tell anyone this I’ll destroy your life but I’m actually an ancient bodyhopping bastard and this is my first time in a female body and I’m in hell please help me” and that’s how this Gertrude finds out who Jonah Magnus is

Elias Bouchard gets snagged for the next transfer because, yeah he’s kind of a weird pick for next Head of the Institute and people might talk but Jonah is Desperate at this point and Elias more or less fits his MO as far as physical traits go at least 

Peter is so relieved to have A Husband when he gets back that he doesn’t even complain about Elias picking a blond just because he knows Peter doesn’t like it. And for once Elias didn’t even do it on purpose, he was just in a hurry to get out of the Hell Dysphoria Body and took the first option he saw. 

The formerly-plagued-by-nightmares barista at Jonah’s favorite coffee shop stops seeing the increasingly depressed-looking woman who’d been coming in, but now there’s a nice young who smiles like the sun when she calls him Sir and it’s such a nice smile that she feels a deep sense of warmth and contentment and only thinks good thoughts for the rest of the day. She falls asleep content in the knowledge that all her friends love and appreciate her and that she makes the best coffee in London and for the next week she has pleasant, restful dreams that she can’t remember but that she wakes up from smiling. 

Elias Bouchard quietly starts offering trans-inclusive health benefits to employees of the Magnus Institute. Martin Blackwood, Broke Trans Guy In Need of a Job, instantaneously appears on the doorstep. 

[maurawrites]

☼ for Thai/Cassie and greggie

OTP: DON’T BE A HERO

who would be the one to randomly adopt a puppy without consultation 

Thai

Who would force the other to take aesthetic pictures of them 

Tbh, when working out and stuff I could see them both doing this to show off their hard work?  But I really doubt either of them really do it for anything out.  Like, they’re too busy just enjoying life???? why waste time taking pictures to post on the internet for other people’s approval??

who would do stuff they think is stupid just to make the other one happy 

I could see Thai being super ready to do this shit, just bc he’s a goofy guy.  But in the long run, I think both of them would (although, Ic ould see Cassie being a bit more reluctant which only would make it funnier)

who picks out the horror movies to watch just so the other will cling to them 

Tbh I see them both being really into horror movies and like...cheering them on?? Like not even the whole ‘don’t go downstairs!!’ sorta stuff but like....’oH SHIT, YES, GET THAT SLEDGEHAMMER, BASH HIS FACE IN!!’

who is constantly studying and who is constantly trying to distract them 

I feel like Thai is more the kind of person to distract people, and can rarely pay attention to something for more than a few minutes....But like, when Thai is studying for his lieutenant exam, I could see Cassie being so weirded out by him focused and studying that she like tries to distract him?? idk

who initiates the facetime calls whenever they’re separated 

Thai facetimes Cassie but picks up and immediately is like ‘nOW SHOW ME WHO I REALLY CALLED FOR’ (referring to her boobs)

who is more likely to storm out after a fight and who is more likely to cry when they do 

I doubt either of them are criers, and honestly I can’t really see either of them storming out?  Both of them more ‘stand your ground’ type people.  But if I had to pick one I’d guess Thai bc like he wasn’t raised with siblings and stuff so like....Cassie wins in stubborness in that aspect?

who stays up way too late binge-watching their favorite shows 

Thai probably

who bites the other’s ear when they’re feeling frisky 

Cassie?

who sprays the other with water when they’re washing the car 

Thai would 500% spray Cassie, mostly bc it’s funny and he loves pissing her off, but also like....wet t-shirt u kno

who has more fun decorating the house during holidays 

Decorating during the holidays was always a tradition in the Chase household and like tbh in ike 10-20 years I could see him being that person in outdoor lights competition with his neighbors

who is more likely to give the silent treatment when they’re mad at the other 

Cassie?

who plays with the others’ hair more 

Thai.  It’s just so long and gold and yeah.  Sometimes he tugs on it like he’s a 2nd grader though.

who is more likely to climb all over the other one when they’re bored

both (but imagine thai climbing on cassie??? im dying)

who tries to kiss the other as often as they can 

I think at first, Thai is really hesitant esp. around her squad, but as soon as that fades away it’s like he’s making up for lost time or smthn.  It’s not always like, on the mouth though, it’s like her neck or hand or shoulder, anywhere his lips are near tbh.  He’s just an affectionate dude.

who pouts when the other one tells them to shut the fuck up

Honestly imagining Cassie telling Thai to STFU and him pouting is giving me life rn so

who initiates the sex and who walks away when the other is riled up  

I think they both often initiate, but I could see Cassie more likely to walk away.  Thai might do it every once in awhile to tease and thus make it all the better when they do frickity frack

who always forgets the umbrella and who holds it when they actually have one 

Growing up in Edinburgh where it could rain at a drop of a hat whereas Cassie grew up in California, I could see him more likely to remember it and her less so.  And bc he’s 10 feet tall, he’d carry it.

who demands showering first in the mornings 

I don’t think this is generally a problem bc due to their varying shifts, they often aren’t getting up at the same time?

who sneaks into the shower with the other one in the mornings 

Thai.

who prefers riding the roller coasters and who prefers playing the games

Both to both.

who will text the other one thirty times in a row until they respond 

Thai, although it’s almost completely just to annoy her.  Imagine a Stewie from Family Guy sorta situation (’mom mom mom mom mom, mummy, mummy mummy, etc)

who always forgets to charge their phone overnight 

Thai.  bc I feel like having a cellphone charged and on them at all times is more of a neccessity for Cassie than it is for Thai’s job?

who comes up behind the other and slide their hands into their back pockets

both?

who tries to get hugs from the other as often as they can .

I could see hugs being their like...tired intimacy.  Like it’s been a long shift, maybe not even necessarily bad, just long, so they sorta just hug and it’s more like, just leaning on each other and physically keeping each other upright??

who is louder and who constantly has the tell the other to be quiet

Thai is boisterous af, and is the type of person that will be yelling while telling a story and have absolutely no idea he is, no concept of volume tbh.  Cassie is probably constantly telling him to STFU.

OTP: START OF SOMETHING NEW

who would be the one to randomly adopt a puppy without consultation 

I could see Maggie doing it bc like....It was in a box in the street!! HOW COULD SHE SAY NO??

who would force the other to take aesthetic pictures of them 

Once again, neither?  I could see like Maggie having him take photos to document an experience or something but like... I doubt they’re purely for aesthetic purposes?

who would do stuff they think is stupid just to make the other one happy 

both

who picks out the horror movies to watch just so the other will cling to them 

They’re not really a horror movie watching sorta couple.

who is constantly studying and who is constantly trying to distract them 

I think they’re really good at supporting each other and giving each other alone time so like??  But I could see like maybe if one of them is stressing over something the other being like ‘nope, okay, it’d distraction time’ for their own good?

who initiates the facetime calls whenever they’re separated 

Idk, I just see Greyson??  But my guess is it’s probably an even tradeoff (and omg this just gave me feels about how we talked about him having to go home for awhile sTOP)

who is more likely to storm out after a fight and who is more likely to cry when they do 

honestly picturing greyson and maggie in a fight is the weirdest thing??? but like, if I had to pick I’d say Greyson would probably storm out, especially if he’s having a hard time articulating his feeling (which he often does), and bc he just hates fighting?  And then if it was a serious enough of a fight I could see Maggie crying (not to say Greyson wouldn’t be equally as upset)

who stays up way too late binge-watching their favorite shows 

Greyson, ofc, is the night owl of the two due to his insomnia, but I could almost see them making binge watching a bit of a tradition and they would sort enable eachother like??? ‘okay....but like, we have to watch one more right?? like WE nEED TO KNOW IF LESLIE GETS RECALLED OR NOT’

who bites the other’s ear when they’re feeling frisky 

Greyson?? Maybe??  i think he’s more a neck kisser sorta guy tho, like come up behind her, wrap his arms around her waist, kiss her neck, etc

who sprays the other with water when they’re washing the car 

Maggie sprays Gresyon

who has more fun decorating the house during holidays 

(reminds me of that drabble tbh).  Probably Maggie, but she always manages to get him into the spirit as well.

who is more likely to give the silent treatment when they’re mad at the other 

Tbh I think they have a healthy enough of a relationship and are mature enough that they’d probably just talk things through??

who plays with the others’ hair more 

Tbh I could see Maggie playing with his curls, esp. if they’re just lounging around, reading or watching tv or something.

who is more likely to climb all over the other one when they’re bored

??? Maggie ??? bc there is literally no way he could climb all over her.

who tries to kiss the other as often as they can 

i feel like it’s fairly even

who pouts when the other one tells them to shut the fuck up

??? this wouldn’t really happen?? i know most of my answers are like this but....I mean, I could see them softly shushing eachother esp. if they’re in the middle of a book or something but?

who initiates the sex and who walks away when the other is riled up  

Initiation is pretty half and half, and then neither?? Maybe Maggie sorta humorously/teasing/for fun?? idk.

who always forgets the umbrella and who holds it when they actually have one 

Once again, Greyson grew up in London where it could be sunny for five minutes, and rain for the next five so he’s pretty good at that, while Maggie grew up down South?? so like i could see greyson having better instinct on whether they should bring one, but I could see maggie actually remembering to i that makes sense?  And ofc greyson would carry.

who demands showering first in the mornings 

Maggie bc she actually needs to look presentable for her job whereas Greyson’s slept on curls are not only adorable but okay to alphabetize books.

who sneaks into the shower with the other one in the mornings 

They live in New York City, their showers are barely big enough to hold one person, let alone two (one of who is 6+ feet tall)

who prefers riding the roller coasters and who prefers playing the games

All depends what sorta mindset Greyson is in tbh?? Bc sometimes he’s like ‘live life to the fullest!!’and other time he’s full of anxiety so that would obviously make the choice for him.  but like....is it weird that i could see maggie sorta liking roller coasters

who will text the other one thirty times in a row until they respond 

I couldn’t see Greyson really doing this all that much bc like he knows she’s probably in class or something?  But maybe when his anxiety is acting up and he’s like absolutely convinced himself that someone he knew from Maddox has llike fckn kidnapped her or something he would.  I could also see her doing it if he doesn’t respond to the first or second text bc she knows it’s fairly easy for him to have his phone on him during work (although....sometime he forgets his phone at home oops).  Or like, after he tells her the truth about everything?? idk.

who always forgets to charge their phone overnight 

greyson bc he’s a space cadet.

who comes up behind the other and slide their hands into their back pockets

Maggie into Greyson? esp. when her hands are cold.

who tries to get hugs from the other as often as they can .

I feel like Greyson is a big hugger tbh

who is louder and who constantly has the tell the other to be quiet

Well Greyson definitely isn’t a loud person so....by elimination, Maggie? (now imagining drunk, loud maggie and dying tbh)

[scatteredfangirling]

Her name is Ekaterina Nikiforovna Katsuki. On paper, anyways.

Her papa and the other Russian family friends adoringly call her “Katya”. She responds to “Rima” in Japan.  At home in the US, she is simply known as “Katie”.

The figure skating community considers her royalty, a reputation that long precedes her. She is, after all, the daughter of the well-decorated Viktor Nikiforov of Russia and Yuuri Katsuki of Japan. To add to this, Mila Babicheva, a former power to be reckoned with in ladies’ singles, was her surrogate mother.

The seventeen-year-old Eurasian girl stands at 5′ 5″, or roughly 165 cm everywhere else in the world. With wavy dark reddish-brown hair, fair skin, warm brown eyes, and a slender figure, she has always been a wonder to watch on the ice. At least that’s what her papa always says, cerulean eyes beaming with joy, despite the fact that Katie is currently picking herself up from the ice after yet another botched landing.

“Do you know what you did there?” Viktor asked from where he stood across the rink, his Russian accent tinging his English just a bit.

“I didn’t bend my knees enough on the landing.” Katie shouts in response. She skates over to the perimeter, arms crossed and more frustrated than she has felt in a long while. Katie has been trying to be more consistent with her jumps, and the worst feeling is knowing that she used to have this cursed triple salchow - triple toe combination down-pat before puberty had hit her like a train.

Viktor just wags a finger at her. “You also overrotated that first salchow, got distracted by it, and then failed to use your knees on the second landing.”

“I should just retire, Papa.” she mumbles as she props her elbows on the divider and holds her face in her hands.

“Where is this coming from, dear?” the silver-haired Russian asks, tucking Katie’s stray bangs behind her ear.

All the words tumble out in a torrent. “I can’t land half the jumps I used to. I can’t even place in the middle of the herd anymore. I came in dead last at Worlds last season, when I placed 6th the season before. I couldn’t even medal in any of the Grand Prix Final events last season.” Katie punctuates her teary, frustrated rant with a groan-screech combination that Viktor has heard many times. “I’m done. So done.”

“Katya, why don’t we take a break?” Viktor suggests, guiding her off the ice and toward a bench.

Katie sits down and stares at the rink as she tosses her water bottle from hand to hand, a fidget action that she got from Mila. Why does Papa even bother? I’ve literally turned into the largest disappointment. I have fallen from the top all the way to rock bottom. Is it bad to wonder if figure skating didn’t make it in my genes? Yes, I’m the biological child of Yuuri Katsuki and Mila Babicheva, two world-class skaters, but I do not have the blood of THE Viktor Nikiforov, which totally explains why I had potential and then just completely lost –

Viktor interrupts her thoughts. “Whatever it is you’re thinking, stop.” He gently plucks the bottle that Katie has been fiddling with and holds her hand. “Don’t do what your tou-chan does. We love you, no matter what you end up doing.”

The silence seems to stretch into oblivion as Katie waits for him to continue.

“You’re going through a slump. A lot of skaters go through slumps. Puberty happens. And sadly, the growth spurt makes or breaks careers.”

Katie frowns. “Not helping, Papa.”

“Oops. I got off track,” Viktor chuckles, swinging her hand in his. “The point is, what happens next for you is your decision. I was going to ask if you thought I’d allow my daughter to get caught up in a slump, but it really is all up to whether you decide you’re going to stay in this slump or fight your way out of it.” He smiles, and Katie can only wonder what her father could possibly be happy about. Viktor briefly switches to Russian and says, “You are a fighter. You are our daughter, after all.”

The silence that settles is comfortable this time, as Viktor reaches over to give Katie a much-needed hug.

Viktor stands up, and pulls Katie to her feet. “You should talk to tou-san about this tonight. And maybe call Mila tomorrow morning. I’m sure she’ll have plenty of advice for you.” Katie is barely able to get out a half-hearted affirmative answer before Viktor launches into his next instructions. “Now, you are going to practice your spins and transitions, and you’re going to do flat run-throughs for another hour before we leave. I do not want to see you attempt a single jump.”

Katie gulps at her father’s sudden strict tone of voice as she steps back onto the ice. It was always like this with him, super fun and then super scary within seconds.

She’s old enough to know that her father is only making her do them in order to distract her from angsting over her jumps. And it always works. After all, transitions, skating skills, and other artistry related components make up roughly half of her score.

Katie spends the next hour tracing shapes around the rink, listening to the soothing sound of metal slicing through ice punctuate whatever music Viktor put on the sound system. If any of this season’s program music started playing, she practiced her step sequences and transitions with the rhythm. Before she knew it, the last hour of training came to a close.

“Hey, don’t you have to help Stepa with biology later?” Cheery dad is back. Heart-shaped smile, happily closed eyes and all.

Katie slides to a stop. This is just another part of their routine. Viktor says absolutely nothing for the time period that he sentences his daughter to skate figures and do flat run-throughs, and then indirectly ends the training session by saying or asking something random before giving his critique.

“Um, yeah, I told him after dinner,” Katie responds, putting her skate guards on and walking over to the bench where she left her bag and water bottle. Crap, I forgot about that pre-calculus quiz on Tuesday too. Maybe I can ask tou-san for help on that later.

“Then we should pick up the pace, yeah? We shouldn’t keep your tou-san waiting.” Viktor smiles down at Katie, helping her pack up her stuff. Katie nods, quickly changing out of her skates and into her sneakers. Viktor lists the little details he noticed in the last hour of practice that need some fine tuning as the father-daughter duo makes their way to the parking lot.

As they drive home, Katie looks through her phone notifications.

Stepan Plisetsky-Altin

3:17 PM – I’m so screwed for this quiz on Monday

3:28 PM – I keep reading these words and I’m getting NOTHING

3:56 PM – Katie help meeeeeee

4:32 PM – Sorry, I know you’re at rehearsal but today is just a really bad day concentration-wise

4:49 PM – Pops is taking my phone so BYE

Fleur Giaccometti posted a new album, “Introducing FLEUR: FALL 2042”.

Yuri Plisetsky

4:50 PM – As you may already know, Stepan’s attention span is struggling severely today

4:50 PM – Otabek spent the morning trying to go through these concepts with him with no success

4:51 PM – Once again, we’ll have to rely on you

Danny Ji – De La Iglesia posted a new video on his channel.

Sam Ji – De La Iglesia and 87 others liked your photo.

“Anything interesting?” Viktor asks, as they exit the highway.

Katie sighs. “Not really, just Stepa freaking out, Uncle Yuri lowkey apologizing, and other social media things.”

She responds to Stepan’s distracted pleas for academic help first. “I’ll be there at 7, find your chill omfg”, she types. To his father, she replies: “No worries, I’ll be over at 7 PM”.

Katie takes the time to scroll through Fleur’s new fall collection for her fashion line, and likes a few of the dresses and ensembles. Maybe she can wheedle Fleur and nab something on the cheap from a few seasons ago to wear to the upcoming season’s banquets.

Before she knows it, they’ve arrived home in the suburbs of Canton, Michigan.

“Tadaima,” Katie calls out as she enters through the garage and toes off her shoes.

“Okaeri!” Yuuri happily responds from the living room. “How was practice?”

Katie just looked at him with an awkward look of skepticism that equated to a lot of cringing and sheepish smiling. “UHHHHHH…okay? Not great? But not absolutely terrible? Same old, same old?”

“In short, you and Mila need to sit down and give her a confidence lesson, because apparently I can’t.” Viktor says curtly.

Yuuri just looks at his husband blankly while their daughter noticeably wilts and slouches behind Viktor in response to his statement.

“I mean, I can’t motivate our daughter the same way I motivated you,” Viktor adds on with a mischievous tone.

Yuuri’s blank expression turns into one of disbelief. “I can’t believe you went there.”

At this point, Katie catches on and tries not to gag. “Too much information! Your child, who is standing in the same room as you, did not need to know that. Ew.”

“But Katya, one day you’ll find your special person and then you’ll underst–“ Viktor singsong is cut off by Katie yelling “I’M GONNA GO SHOWER AND FORGET THIS EXCHANGE EVER HAPPENED!” as she runs to the bathroom.

The two former competitive skaters share a look.

“Victor, how does udon sound for dinner?”

“It sounds vkusno.”

Notes:

It’s out fam! I’ve committed and hopefully this can continue when classes start next week

!!

[linkmaste]

Dear Dad (An Open Letter)

Something I found on the internet awhile ago from some user. Decided to post it here and maybe spread a little love. Pride is coming up soon so, thought it was appropriate. This was written by a gay women who was coming out to her father. It’s pretty powerful and really dives into someone’s mind like this.

Dad,

If you’re reading this then I had done of the most scariest and intimidating things I have ever done in my life. Coming out to you as gay and telling you about me and C separating wasn’t easy at all. It was a battle between who did I want to please; myself or you and society.

Please, please read this until the every end-I swear I won’t tack on sappy crap or flowery words-that was for mom.

I’ll start by telling the truth. I knew I was different since I was a kid and it didn’t come together until I was 15 years old to find a word for it. Do you remember that John kid and how he liked me and how it kinda weirded me out? Well, turns out guys were not my thing (and  you didn’t want me dating until I was 16 so, that’s a good reason too).

I kissed my first girl when I was fifteen and I fell in love with her. I don’t know if you had an idea but that girl was Dee. I was head over heels for her and heart broken when she moved on from me. But then, I had to accept that sooner or later I would have to tell you and mom. It scared the living crap out of me. 

Why?

Aside from the general growing up in a heterosexual population, I had no one to ask questions to. The Catholic church told me that it was a sin, you never displayed positive opinions on it (that I listened very carefully for) and all my friends were straight. I literally had no one to talk about this with. I felt alone, scared and depressed.

Then, I met a social worker online named Steph who really helped me and my understanding of being gay. I developed a good habit of helping others and liked being part of the LGBTQ community. It felt AWESOME. 

 I was sixteen when I first told you. I wanted you to be the first because I trusted you, I felt closet to you and I could ask your permission to date a girl that I liked in high school. She was smart, funny and a total bookworm. Anyway, I should have waited. I was too nervous and I never told something so deep and so private. Jackie pushed me to tell you and then you reacted. Hindsight twenty-twenty, I should have guessed that denial was a often reaction. I wasn’t expecting you to throw confetti, but a nice hug and ‘I love  you’ would have been nice. Maybe a few awkward questions but nothing for what really happened.

I’m so sorry I didn’t stand up better for myself. Really, I was crushed. Like I was the worst person who hurt you. When you were done, it was never brought up again. Life had gone on and I never dared opened my mouth about the subject again. I felt ashamed and my confidence dropped.

I met Jesse who was asking me out and decided that just for you and mom, I would try to be with him. Not to embarrass you but to make you proud. To be normal.  

I guess you could say I was obsessed with making you proud of me for years. To NEVER disappoint you. I thought if I worked hard and go through the motions I could rid myself of the gayness. Like it was some disease. 

All my LGBTQ friends tried to tell me it wouldn’t work. I didn’t listen to them because above all else, you were right. You had to be right. After all, you were my father. I remember your sharp voice ringing in my ears and how you stood up from the computer pissed and some T.V show played in the background. I still remember all of that and I felt horrible. 

When Jesse didn’t work out, C came along. I decided that this was it. I was going to make this work; do or die. I told myself my parents opinion of me mattered the most. Who did I want to make happy? Of course my parents! Of course you! 

I didn’t hide everything from C, I did enjoy his company. The sex was odd but if I closed my eyes, I could stand it. Besides, couples didn’t have to have sex right? Couples didn’t really feel romance or butterflies and attraction-they just tolerated each other and found usefulness in one another. C was useful. I stayed and stomped my feelings down as hard as I could. I wanted to make you proud-that was all I ever wanted. 

And it worked. 

It was easy at first.  We were long distance and college kept us busy. Then by the time our college career ended, we were getting married. I was planning a wedding, in grad school, two jobs, was assaulted and dealing with the fall out from it, and applications to my work were underway. I was too busy to even give my feelings even a glance. I literally had no time to think, I just did.

After the wedding, everything was good. I worked and tried to get into a routine. I would follow everything a wife was supposed to do-cook, clean, laundry, make plans, doing finance, work full-time and try to avoid this under bed of feelings as much as I could. 

Maybe it was the site I worked at where all I did was sit and steal the McDonald’s wifi but my doubts and thoughts were coming back. I started to not want C kissing me or holding me at night. It felt wrong. He was noticing it as I would sleep on the couch more often or avoid talking to him. I even just zoned out of conversations completely for minutes at a time. When i visited you or my friends, I could pretend I was happy but once I got back home I simple just did whatever C told me to do. I nodded my head at everything. At that point, I thought all I was good for was sex, cooking and cleaning. Wife stuff right?

It was becoming tense at home. He finally snapped the one day in August. He was fed up with this ‘husk’ of me who nodded and agreed to everything. I told him it was better for him to just use me as he pleased and I wouldn’t complain. He was upset. He wanted the ‘old me’ back. The one who took showers, the one who went out for runs and smiled and didn’t act like a zombie. I was fat, I picked at my skin so much I was covered in scabs, and I barely slept.

It was a damn wall breaking. I couldn’t handle it anymore. Everything crashed and I poured everything out in a ball of mess, tears and snot. I told him I couldn’t take it anymore. I was 100% gay and I hated myself. 

The process between me and C was what you expected. Crying, anger, hugging, and making a plan. What were the next steps?

I realized that I was being selfish with this plan. He wasn’t happy with me, I wasn’t happy with him. What kind of life would he have lived, married to someone who never found him attractive? That never really wanted sex from him? To never have kids? What the hell were we doing? If we loved each other, and not romantically loved but sincere love-we would separate and allow each other to move on. Allow to recover. Allow to heal. 

No, C deserved better and I deserved better. 

I started small and came out to friends, then to in-laws, then to some family and finally it had come down to you. The one I told first-and now told last. I’m not going to say that everyone took it amazingly. Some left. Some hated me and called me a dyke. It was expected. I didn’t intend to hurt anyone and I never cheated on C. Everyone’s dreams were crushed and mine were too. I had a dream of being normal.

So dad, what do you think? Please don’t think it’s your fault-it’s not a bad thing to be gay. I don’t really enjoy rainbows that much, but I can appreciate the concept of pride and self acceptance. I love you and mom-and I’m so sorry for hurting you two. I’m sorry I hurt C and thought I could change myself. 

I was wrong.

Whatever you feel, it’s normal and okay. Anger, denial, bitterness-it’s all okay to feel that. You have every right to feel like this. But, you also have to understand that while I love you and mom, I have to accept this part of me. Or else, I’ll die. 

There are people out there who handle this thing too. It’s called PFLAG and I’ll supply the numbers down below. It’s for people who are lost and angry and they can help you come to terms with what you’re feeling and are so good at explaining it. Mom was given the information too but I don’t think she kept it. 

If not them, I’m sure I can find someone else for you to talk about this with. I’ve done so much research, I even won an award for writing a paper on it. Maybe I am a good writer, mom taught me that. 

Dad, I love you. I love you so much. I’m your gay daughter and I hope one day you’ll love me as much as I love you. Just please, never forget that. 

Your faithful daughter,

-Leslie A. Rosewood 

[micleadd7]

Social media

Just add me on Facebook. Did you see my lunch the other day on Instagram? CleverBets2017 is now following you.You have been added to the whats app group Jeans 40th birthday. I guarantee at some point in the last few years you have all heard these things be you a Twitterer, Facebooker, Instagrammer, whatsapper or otherer (there's always an otherer) the crazy world that is socialising and social media absorbs your daily being, turning you into a mindless scrolling zombie. Flicking from one app to the next without a care in the world. Have we forgotten the days of calling people for a chat in the kitchen because that's where the phone is? looking through pictures you have had developed from holidays gone by? TEXT MESSAGING!?  HAVE WE LOST OUR WAY IN A BLUR OF CLICK  BAIT ARTICLES, MEMES AND COMMENT SECTIONS ON GROUPS THAT OFFEND THE PEOPLE WHO NEED TO BE OFFENDED!!  Let's start at the beginning.

Firstly I must point out the thing that makes most of this possible, the enabler of such activity, without it people would sit in a bar by themselves waiting for their friends awkwardly, the smart phone. Iphone/Samsung/Pigeon carrier whatever you are you have the tech literally at your fingertips to engage with anyone anywhere at any point. Bluetooth, 4g, WIfi, order a taxi, order a pizza for the taxi, watch TV, listen to the radio, I mean what is there that your smartphone does not do? What happened to the days of 3 ringtones per phone, polyphonic nonetheless, the genius that was snake, phones that when you dropped them instead of the screen smashing into a thousand pieces you feared for every bone in your foot. Now you have a bing, ding or some other strange noise you've never heard before and that's it, you are taken away into the online world forever, well not forever but at least for the foreseeable.

Ok anyway the beginning, well maybe not the beginning let's not forget Myspace with its click counter and putting your friends in order of who you liked the most. But no the real beginning for me has to be the arrival of Facebook. Facebook changed the boundaries of social etiquette in so many ways. People; be it dates, friends, random weirdos at a party or work no longer exchange phone numbers or show pictures. No no that's no longer necessary, ‘What's your full name?’ That is necessary, and a whole lot simpler to try and guess than a long list of numbers. Yes a person's full name is all you need for a full back catalogue of the last 10 years of anyone's life. Pictures, relationships, family members, age, home town, which spice girl you dressed up as at your local school disco it's all there, waiting for you, willing you to find it! More info than any sane human being should be able to process after 5 minutes of facebook stalking someone. Oh yes that's the other thing, I mean another thing, there are many things. Facebook stalking someone is widely known and accepted. As if this level of intense research into someone's life is any different from actual stalking. Looking through Katies pictures from her trip to Benidorm in 2003, specifically pausing on the bikini clad pics is just as creepy as standing outside her house in the rain hoping to steal a glimpse of her in the shower. Katie if you are reading this you can't prove anything. I guess the difference being is Katie put those pictures on Facebook right? So she wanted people to see them right? Her friends right? In which case she should be ok with her friends waiting outside her window in the rain, trying to get a glance at some sideboob action. Not sure why it has to be raining but it just does.

So what's your name? Add me on facebook. If they are interesting enough you trudge through making opinions on things. The thing is Facebook is a keyhole into someone's life that they want you to see. We all know this yet we all forget it. People (and when I say people I mean everyone) are fabricating whole lives through social media. Informing overs about brilliant family get togethers, forgetting the 16 arguments that occurred on the day and merely commenting on the pictures with everyone smiling. Adding road trip tags about how awesome the journey was even though Dave was asleep the whole way and Nick wouldn't stop farting. Or there's the amazing stays in hotels or brilliant 5 star meals or BBQing with every friend possible… You can forgive people for wanting to only post the most exciting parts of their  lives, I do the exact same thing but just once i'd like flick open the app and see:

Katie is thinking about staring at a tree.

It would probably get the same amount of likes anyway!

All that being said there are several scenarios that have grown into the very fabric of FB. Those things that happen which we all know about but either ignore, forget or are apart of. The ground to cover here is vast so I will move quickly;

The sheer anger towards each other in comment sections on a post nobody can even remember after the 45 replies is embarrassing.And it always ends with someone correcting someone else's fucking grammar, And no Michael Jackson isn't just here for the comments and popcorn.

People who re-post nonsense that starts with, ‘Most of your friends won't have the guts to re-post this’ can all suck a bag of dicks.

People who still play games and still send out invites - HOW ARE YOU STILL DOING THIS?

Click bait articles in which you never get the answer to the question posed in the headline which just makes me so mad I want to argue with anyone in the comments section.

When you see people still fraping each other and it depends on your mood as to if it's funny or not that MIke loves huge cocks.

And then there's this;

Saying Happy birthday on your birthday. I kid you not I have both posted happy birthday on a good friend's wall when he changed it for a joke looking like I have no idea when his birthday is and also missed a good friend's birthday because they took it down from Facebook. In fact the alert of someone's birthday on every single morning of every single day reminds me that i'm still friends with that person on here and that I should remove them from my Friends list, HAPPY BIRTHDAY INDEED! I do enjoy the Happy Birthdays on my birthday though, I wonder how many friends I lose on that day. Imagine that last sentence attached to real life, ‘I wonder how many friends I lose on my birthday’. Yeah thanks Facebook.

After all that nonsense there's then the people which I always say I will never be but will never know until I get there, Mums and Dads. The people who feel the need to show their children off to the whole internet every time he/she sneezes. Don't get me wrong, new parents I understand, absolutely, but there's a point where it surely must stop.

So proud of little Tommy here he is on:

His first day at school. 20 likes

At a swimming Gala 30 likes

Riding a bike 35 likes

Sleeping 100 likes.

FUCK OFF, i'm serious. How Is it that parents manage to escape the ability to realise that nobody else on earth is as interested in their child as much as they are. Well apart from the Savilles of the world but surely that's just adding to reasons why little Tommy on a bike should be kept to exactly that. I mean you wouldn't walk up to a stranger in the street and go, hey guy look at my kid in his new school Uniform, you like? Just give me a thumbs up and then tell all your mates to come look and give me a thumbs up as well.

Saying that I want to see pictures of your kids (sounds odd) about as much as I want to see pictures of your dinner. A friend of mine whatsapped me the other month (because nobody texts anymore. You all have that one friend that still texts you and you can't understand why) asking if i'd seen his dinner from the night before. What on earth happened before facebook/Instagram? Did people invite the neighbours over to look at their food before telling them to go away so they could eat it? Stupid thing is if someone stalks me ON FACEBOOK long enough i'm probably guilty of this myself. If like me as well you grew up with facebook when it first became a thing, I was at UNI. Hundreds of pictures of me being drunk and doing stupid things went up over a 3 year period. I was completely oblivious to the concept that my Parents Aunties/Uncles and all relatives may at some point join this network, leaving a huge window into my life open for anyone to see. Adam why are you in a shopping trolley at 6am? At least it's not my dinner!!!

While Facebook was the poster boy for socialising online there were many other apps following suit which had you mindlessly scrolling through smart phones as if other people were simply not in the room. To coin a phrase, does your phone want a drink? If it's not instagram with its crazy hashtags, #blog #tumblr #words #life #trees #Lettuce it's Twitter with well it's crazy hashtags, or SnapChat or Tinder or Fuckafish. I made that last one up but i'll bet if I had a quick look I would find an app for such means, probably endorsed by Bear Grylls.

With all this mindless scrolling going on we venture into the world of whatsapp. Past the causal 1-2-1s you have with your friends where you send constant pictures of yourself smiling like an idiot because you are bored of checking if your twitter post has been retweeted, there's the groups. Not as in Louis got the groups but the groups. You will have a group of friends group, a different group of friends group but with certain friends from the first group in that group, a family group and birthday group, a work group, without that dick from finance, a travelling in the car somewhere that nobody comments in anymore because you went wherever you were going group, a holiday group, a friend's pet group a... you get the picture. Your life is taken over when you wake up to 50 unread messages, mostly because Nick posted a funny meme or Rachel wants the money for the birthday present.You reply as thoroughly as you can copy and pasting Nick's now that you've woken up hilarious meme into several other groups,  pleased with the joke stealing laughs you are getting. Even if they all seem to be out loud. You find you have lost hours of the day communicating with people you could have just gone to see.

Further to that time wasting notion the creators then bought you whatsapp.web. Allowing you to have the app on your desktop, a sort of throwback to Messenger but with less smileys in people's titles and no nudge function. Shame on the no nudge function, loved having the feeling of a headache portrayed on a computer. So yes Whats app on your computer. At home. At work more like. With a million and one things to do, you are busy chatting to friends, family members and anyone who wants to listen. Tweeting about something completely unimportant, clicking through picture after picture of a lovely pie and mash or cheese board or a dog's dinner on Instagram only stopping to briefly stalk that girl you met last night on Facebook, she didn't give you her number but that's ok you don't need that. You've got a complete overview of what she's been doing for the last 10 years or so.Hell you don't even need an umbrella, it's not raining in your office.