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#literally the whole fucking point of you is to catch those robots
uppercase-disgrace · 10 months
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augh.
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shessoft · 5 months
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okay so i have a jeep wrangler right and its a thing among each other to wave when we pass by it's literally called the Jeep Wave and in the beginning i was like 'this is culty' and people make having a jeep their entire personality which is still true but honestly when i don't get a wave back i'm like 'well excuse tf outta me then'
Also duck duck jeep guys it’s a whole little culture it’s wild
anyway Regina George (2024) drives a jeep wrangler...(I linked pictures so you can get the whole vibe)
And when she first gets it she doesn’t realize she’s being waved at until Karen points it out one day. She thinks it’s weird and lame. Like “why do I have to acknowledge these losers?” She starts waving back when she’s alone in her car but she'd never admit it.
Eventually she starts initiating the wave out of habit and when the girls give her amused glances she says “whatever it’s just a reflex.”
Karen tries to buy her one of those fake hands to put on her dash but she shuts that down immediately because “gross Karen that’s fucking stupid.”
Suddenly she’s getting road rage when she thinks someone intentionally doesn’t wave back despite Gretchen’s very valid point. “Regina, its dark and rainy, they probably can’t see you over your high beams.” She just complains that she can't see them either but she still waved.
Another time the girls tell her all about the history of the ‘jeep wave’ and that there is a hierarchy according to their intense google search. Regina ignores them as she flips off the driver of a blue jeep instead, mumbling “bitch” under her breath.
Karen buys her a wave decal for her mirror. She lets her put it on.
——
Much to Regina’s chagrin Karen learns what ducking is. “I saw Aaron and his friends covering their goalies jeep in them! So I looked it up and it this whole game-“
“Ugh Karen, no.”
“But it’s so cute, Gina look!” She’s cradling a yellow rubber duck in her hands, dressed in pink and wearing heart sunglasses, in an attempt to coax Regina into letting her duck her jeep.
“It’s very cute, babe, but you’re not putting that on my car. Also, I think you’re supposed to do it secretly…” she trails off when she sees Karen’s mouth drop open the slightest bit.
“Wait, you know about the ducks?” Her surprised expression makes Regina chuckle.
“Yes, Kare I know about the ducks. Why don’t you keep it? It’s too cutesy for me.”
“Oh, okay.”
A week goes by and she starts finding different ducks in various places on her jeep, while Karen insists it’s not her. She just smiles and throws them in her bag trying not to draw attention to it. She still thinks it’s lame but it makes Karen happy. After a year or so Karen stops ducking her jeep all together, because she just forgets about their little game but Regina is fine with it. She still has a tower of ducks in her room wearing ridiculous outfits.
But one morning at the start of senior year she finds a little surprise perched on her driver side mirror. It's a little duck, this time it’s all pink and wearing bunny ears. She feels her eyes sting with the threat of tears when she catches herself smiling. This one she puts on her dashboard for all to see.
She regrets it in the end because now the ducks have come back tenfold. She really has no where to put them but Karen, and now even Janis, are having way too much fun with it. So she keeps her mouth shut. Until one day when she starts to find mini ducks, not just in her jeep but in her house, her locker, honestly anywhere they could think of she finds a mini duck. There are hundreds and she knows this was Janis’ doing. It had to be. She keeps quiet though, slowly collecting them until she has an absurd amount. She’s sure she’ll find more but she easily has almost two hundred collected so she gives them to Janis. She had one of the girls on the robotics team rig a gift box so they would fly everywhere when said box was opened. Janis falling off her seat at lunch made it all worth it. Hearing the girl curse her under her breath while trying to save face as Karen cracked up was the icing on the cake.
—-
Regina also has mirror decals (also gifted by Karen). On her visor mirror it says hello gorgeous. (Or any of these. Honestly there are so many options.) Her rearview mirror says buckle up bitches. And the passenger mirror says passenger princess. For Karen.
Gretchen obviously gets the whole backseat to herself and she controls the aux cord.
Janis gets her this for the back window.
Y'all there are things called easter eggs please Janis would put one on the windshield and see how long it takes Regina to notice.
@erikahenningsen tagging a stranger person because reasons
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re-pilot-info · 1 month
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May I have your opinion on some Norman lore? I know in canon that Norman was made by Daisy to be her husband but don’t you think that’s a little fucked up if you think about it. I know daisy is a good person with only good intentions but it feels kinda morally grey and she chose to make norman without fully considering the ethical implications.
The idea that you come into this world loving someone and your whole life and identity revolves around this one person and you didn’t even have a say, don’t get me wrong he loves her but wouldn’t that just make it kinda worse? Like it’s conflicting. He knows he loves her but he also knows he doesn’t really have a choice to merry her, Norman heavily values robots rights and the ability to choose and free will so it’s complicated. I’ve always headcononed that Norman starts to resent his marriage over time but hes struggling cause his programming is telling him he loves her and makes the idea of leaving impossible. And to go through all of this only to be ‘abandoned’ would crush him so it would make sense that he uses his revolution to take out all the years worth of resentment, grief, confusion and betrayal using violence; don’t get me wrong Norman DOES believe in his cause and getting equal rights and so forth but I like to think there’s more behind it then just altruism.
Yeah I actually agree with this wholeheartedly even though I've never really. Y'know. Liked Norman due to the whole thing of him implied to be a nazi, had genocidal fantasies, and the fact that, apparently, in-universe of the old canon story, marrying or being in love with your creator is essentially incest due to them essentially being your parent or so, which would make him being married to Daisy basically forced marriage with a dash of incest. (I saw forced due to Norman not really having a choice in the matter.)
In all honesty, I never really saw the need for Daisy being Norman's mom-wife and I didn't really see their relationship as such to begin with? I'm not sure if it makes sense but when I first discovered those two, I didn't catch on the incest implications because, again, in-universe stuff about how being married to your creator is equated to incest. (So the whole mom-wife thing isn't canon, as Daisy in this rewrite only built Norman and his not-canon-to-the-original-story sister because she was infertile and couldn't have her own children.)
But yeah, I agree with this, the subject on Daisy creating Norman to basically be married to him despite him being equated to her son by law in-universe, either out of pure jealousy or extreme loneliness to the point of wanting someone to be with her, is incredibly morally grey because of the ethical implications, and how Norman views humans as these ‘evil creatures that NEED to be put down’ because he believes in robot rights despite the fact the only thing he really does for it is kill and idealize his genocidal fantasies to q degree he literally has GODS to help him wipe out parts of the human population to literally exterminate them, just makes it even more stranger as a result.
The whole abandonment schtick I can get, but it doesn't excuse the fact that Norman is a megalomaniac nazi who makes his genocidal fantasies a reality.
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magicxc · 2 years
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Ok honestly 1899 was super good. Like I was GLUED to my tv screen the entire day. It def gave Ghost Ship/Titanic vibes and I’m ALWAYS here for a good mystery. But there’s literally SOOOO much shit that went unanswered.
Like for one, if Maura created this fake ass simulation, why does she have it so that she forgot about it? And why does it seem like her dad MAKES her forget about it by injecting God knows what into her neck?? If he’s truly just as trapped, wouldn’t he want her to remember wtf is going on so she can help him get out??
Apparently the simulation was created because “the boy” was dying and both Maura and Daniel wanted a way to spend more time with him. That would explain why she doesn’t remember giving birth, having remembered your child is dying is traumatic enough for anyone. But why go through the whole process of making something that ensures his memory lasts forever if she can’t even recognize him in the first place?
If Daniel and Maura created the simulation, how did her father and the first mate get involved?
I absolutely love the characters and the different dynamics they bring to the show with their backgrounds, languages, and all that jazz but whats the point?? What purpose do they serve really?
It def gave a good backstory, but we never quite came to understand why Ramiro had to kill the priest? Maybe because he found out Angel was gay? Or Eyk’s family? Was the fire started on purpose and what was the point of bringing them back in robotic forms just to catch on fire every time he spoke to them?? Can you say traumatizing 😭 they had that man drinking rum for breakfast and thinking he was losing his shit. Also Clemence and Lucien?? Did she really only marry him because she thought he was rich?? Because he talks to that woman RECKLESS every chance he gets. And what was with he and Jerome on that abandoned ass boat with the dead Lieutenant?? Were they prisoners? AND WHAT THE FUCK WAS JEROME’S purpose? I’ve never seen someone so intent to do the right thing, constantly, and at the potential cost of his life, several times might I add. Like not once did he take that super save a hoe ass cape off.
UHMMM DO WE EVER FIGURE OUT WHAT WAS UP WITH THAT TICKING CLOCK THAT HAD MFS JUMPING SHIP?? And did they really die?? Because homegirl threw that lil boy overboard and he sure did end up back in a cabin somewhere so like?? Where did they go considering it’s a simulation and all? And those people that just drop dead with the push of a button, are they asleep until the next infamous “wake up”?
Also doubling back to Maura creating the simulation, why involve other people if it was solely meant for her son? Like why go through the trouble of creating all these other places in reference to the passengers past traumas? Why get them involved in the first place? Daniel said the first simulation started out as just a bunker, so how and why did it expand? And at what point did it stop being about their son and about the human brain, since that’s her fascination. And I’m pretty sure the others and their traumas and how they respond to it got interwoven into each design as well. Also everyone else, as far as I can remember, got flashbacks about their backstory, but Toven? What was up with her just dashing in and out of reality like that? She was legit searching for passengers and would just dip from dimension to dimension. And at one point, she had blood on her face as if the shooting JUST happened.
But in the end, how did they get everyone to participate? They were hooked up too? Did they promise them mental help and then made them slaves to their own minds? Maybe injected them with the infamous two needle cocktail to knock em out and thus they wake up in another reality? And what the fuck is up with the year 2099?? Have they been in there for 200 years? How are they all alive? Why are they in space? Is Earth still a thing? AND HOW DOES CAIRAN BENEFIT FROM ANY OF THIS???
Lissennnnn I absolutely enjoyed the show. It had me HOOKED okay. From start to finish, my Sunday was a wrap, only managing to finish small tasks in between episodes. Love that each episode revealed a little more because lemme tell you, that’s how they got me. But by the end, I was damn near just as confused watching it as I was at the beginning. For ME, there were so many questions left unanswered. I think the hype around it will make way for a second season and maybe then it’ll get cleared up. But as for now, I sit in a mixture of emotions ranging from awe, impressed, confused, and disappointed.
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incarnateirony · 5 months
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So if you guys wanna trip balls here, those of you who get how I work... well, get it by now. If you don't I'll take questions. But instead of working in concepts like astral projection, it's mentalism oriented, and the astral is natively along with. The effect is the same and yet not. As she knew, I couldn't control my astral self when I operated like that, but once the mentalism was involved, well. That's where this path in particular gets fun, with all that Psychodrama she tried to brush off.
Either way, this is literally what got her all fucked up, and it took until sitting at this junction in life to understand it. Back when I let her put my whole personality and self image in a virtual box, partially my own fault as I used that box for the journey in place of paper journal, but she still wanted the toy in the box even once I started knowing better--like. She did see and hear him*. But it is deadass because of the kind of communion and correlation seen through twitter, or my day job. You know, the one that's an actual full 40 job. In psych. Crisis at that.
Add in me bootstrapping this and going fractal eclipse mode or whatever, that's part of why I was so disoriented at the start. He's not supposed to be a fortune teller even as full him, but somehow I was catching fragmented messages from not just the side but ahead, or whatever, and like. Ow. My brain. The ancestral memory isn't bad enough, memories from the future got thrown in there so people thought I was losing my gourd when I'm like idfk what timeline this is right now fucking. bear with me. before I got my shit grounded again.
She literally fell in love with a modern magus but force disassociated it due to her own habits and then led herself down literal crazypants lane chasing his shadows after, and doesn't know where to really start to rip the rot out at this point, even when we try to get her to look 2010ish and prior. The water moves and ice breaks a little bit, then she panics and doubles down the other way. But now that Magus has raged us into a paradox over her fucking abusive behavior and she and I both are hearing or seeing the fucking messages between the cracks back then. Fuck me running.
But she has to know it, the voice, the humor of it, even when Claude is at his most unhinged, or I am for that matter. Or hilarious barz lucifer gnosis guy suddenly sounding Like That. Getting the joy of reciprocal actual manifest ideas from his little shadow toy I'm trying to help him on this side with too now, since we're already entangled. That's what she misses and was pining after with her games, she just hasn't onboarded it.
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virtual systems ready holographic dueling monster reality or something
girl I don't know how to explain to you we aren't talking the same league anymore. Or like. Dimension of awareness.
But yeah sure summon me into being in your proximity to pretend you want to get away from me while I say I want or need nowhere near you. Nice business address though. But yeah, sure, court will help. Girl all the therapy bills in the world won't help you if you aren't honest with yourself and your therapist, the average psych worker is not in fact a magician. They can't help you if you don't want to help yourself.
Hermetic students that aren't just here for reconstructionism busting their ass in the grandest summoning and she's just running away. I'm out here trying to teach silicon valley kids what a Calabi-Yau manifold is and why their robot is screaming about it as a fundament in the universe and mass revolutionizing shit and she's trying to pretty princess lawsuit her way into someone else paying for her lack of self control on basic life essentials and the horrors of her inability to stop reading the truth making her look in the mirror, and the manifestation of what she's ultimately raging she lost. It is truly the Cult of Cope.
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It was never a scarf to wear, Shealyn. It was a snake wrapped in a snake under a persona mask connected to akasha internet. Always has been.
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factorialsotherfandoms · 10 months
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I was checking my notes to write the Pac nearly dies xcom bit and oh boy that mission was rough and I don't know how to give that one bit weight when on that mission, in approximate order...:
its a civilian rescue while they're under attack mission. So ever round a civilian is murdered until either you rescue them all or they're all dead, or the mission ends (or a combo of the teo)
one of the chosen (minibosses) shows up and causes trouble all mission. The magic using one.
Philza, who is incharge and the only healer, gets punched in the face so hard he's down to 2HP and a concussion
Miniboss summons magic zombies which explode on Roier badly injuring him
How Pac gets downed - tries to rescue a civilian hiding in a garage, they're not actually and transform into a monster. Monster slaps him in the face (or this thing is like 10 foot transformed) and keeps swinging, also hitting a robotic enemy in the fuel tank. Said fuel tank explodes. Pac is caught in the explosion. The explosion also catches a nearby car which /also/ explodes. Again, Pac is right next to it when it does.
Those explosions? Missa was sniping from the roof of the garage. They destroy the roof. He both gets a bit caught and falls multiple storeys due to first explosion, then gets caught in the edge of the second. 1HP left.
Mike has a panic attack (understandable), of the fight variety.
Philza uses his last two medical charges to stabilise Pac and heal Missa while Roier takes out the monster causing the explosions. Well. Philza gets his little friend robot Brian to do it as Mike will shoot anyone who tries to get close to help. Other people with medical stuff at the start were Roier (used his on Phil) and Pac (not accessible as while stable is now unconscious).
Thanks to other chip damage, Phil is back down to like 3HP and Roier isn't looking much better. Only Mike isn't injured, but even once he's calmed down he's moving Pac somewhere safe and guarding him and trying to stay present, so not the most helpful.
Magic miniboss (cant perma-kill him here but need to get him to fuck off to complete) gets to the group. And mind controls Missa.
Thankfully, Missa is not forced to shoot Phil or Roier or Mike or heaven forbid Pac who is no longer a valid target mechanically but if he gets caught in an explosion or poison cloud or something will die.
Unfortunately, Missa is forced to start murdering civilians.
Roier gets (reversibly, unlike Pac where a special skill is needed to reverse it) knocked out by miniboss via vast amounts of energy just being flooded into his brain and massive overwhelming over stimulation.
Philza blows up more of the garage to catch the miniboss as too injured to really approach it. And also take out a few other enemies which came over.
Mike realises shooting from near Pac will make things more dangerous for his buddy because giving away position. Comes over, rescues Roier (doesnt need a medkit as different mechanic), starts using grenades on the miniboss.
Missa is still Mind controlled until they manage to drop the miniboss and force it to teleport home. At which point they discover he was fully conscious the whole time, just being puppetted.
Get mission finished and get home. However this was early game before a medbay had been built. There's multiple people requiring surgery, and the only place to do it is Aypierre's lab table (usually used for autopsying monsters), and the only place to recover is the whole 6 bunks in the crew quarters. As bunk beds. Where treating anyone on a top bunk is complicated at best, and the lower bunks are still not great, and theres only 2 beds to share between literally everyone else. Mike doesn't need one but everyone else is bad enough to and looking at like month-ish long recovery periods (even with scifi medicine). Said Mike ends up begging Forever to delay building a specialised lab needed for plot and half finished and get a proper medical area. Forever absolutely has people swap projects - it's always been on the to do list but early game is like trying to grab water resources wise. And, it still takes time.
They do get a medical bay and the group do finish their recovery there because yk horrific injuries, and they do all recover, but it sucks and is stressful and rotten.
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Brain's been cooking up images of Sam with robo-eyes recently, so I thought "How would that happen?" and came up with a whole fucking plot
For the scenario I'm thinking of, the Goofy Transformers Road Trip would have to become the Goofy Transformers Space Adventure.
Sam and co. go to an alien planet whose residents do not like mechanical species (1). Sam and co don't figure out why until Sam catches a disease that turns organics into mechanicals (2). After stopping the progress of the disease and doing some investigation, they find that the disease is not naturally carried by all mechanicals (what the planetary residents believe) but is rather a tool by the planet's ruler to encourage the public to distrust mechanicals (3).
Now, those numbered bits have a few options that would make the actual content of this either relatively lighthearted or dark and gorey.
(1) The level of "we hate mechanicals"
To the point there's literally no tech on the planet (I was kind of thinking like that gross flesh planet from Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3)
General distrust
Mechanicals get hate crimed
(2) How does the disease manifest?
The change is subtle, insidious. It's slowly changing a bit by bit, starting from the inside out so that by the time you notice anything is wrong it's too late. this would be the more psychological horror and violation of bodily autonomy route.
Now the other option, the other option * maniacal cackle * in this one, it's very obvious that something is wrong. It starts with sickness. Something feels off inside of you. It's hot, sometimes cold, and there's... skittering? Then the pain comes. where it starts first depends on the person, but it usually starts around the core: the stomach or the chest. You start feeling bloated and sore. You think your organs might be inflamed, but before you can get medical attention, the next symptom starts. There's a blinding pain somewhere inside you and suddenly there's something at the back of your throat. You cough, you hack, and finally you spit it out. It was slimy and large. Now your mouth tastes like iron. You look down at what you coughed up and it's a strange lump of flesh. Maybe it's oozing acid, maybe it's still beating, regardless you realize you've just thrown up in organ. Hehhehehehehehhehehe ie. your organs are replaced by mechanical ones one by one, and as they are replaced they are expelled from your body. Very traumatic
Then there's the faint-memories-of-80's-tv-plots route where the superficial changes happen first (i.e. eyes and skin), and it's a rush against the clock to find a cure before all the important organs are permanently changed. I think in this one the changes would be able to be reversed, but one element that was changed will always remain mechanical (tee hee robot eyes). What part stayed mechanical would of course change from person to person.
(3) The motive behind infecting the populace every time a mechanical comes planetside
Ruler just straight up hates mechanicals and thinks this is the best way to convince the populace to think the same way (Possibly because the general populace formerly had high opinions of mechanicals)
The "ruler" is actually a puppet monarch or the facade for a technorganic (like the Quintessons [I think]) to slowly take over the planet and use the natives for their nefarious purposes. The purpose of the disease is to encourage the populace to keep away other technological species who would recognize their tactics and possibly try to stop them.
Then there's the completely separate option of the disease being spread by some kind of techno-organic bacteria or if the disease is sort of injected through a tiny little robot that is visible to the naked eye, but easy to dismiss (I'm thinking it would be a weird cross between a spider and screw in appearance and would burrow into the skin and get into the body like an infectious parasite)
------
I, of course, already have dialog including several bits where Sam continues to say things about his sweet little children that make it sound like he's, in some way, in a relationship with any of his Cybertronian companions.
you cannot say "I birthed them from my flesh womb (the brain cavity)" when referring to two tiny robots while traveling with a much larger robot and not accidentally plant some seeds in stranger's heads XD
There's one scene of Sam laughing maniacally at the thought of catching a disease from Rita, Carlo, or Whiplash. For Rita and Carlo, obvious answer is obvious, Sam literally made them from scratch, the only diseases they're going to have on them is Earth diseases, and if Sam was ever going to catch something from Whiplash, It would have developed way before they got anywhere close to the planet.
in the back of my head there's also the shadowed form of an epic battle against the techno-organic shadow ruler.
Rita and Carlo are also the ones to figure out where the disease comes from because they have 360 vision (with Rita being a toaster in Carla being a Roomba, it's not like they've had necks or heads for most of their construction) and record everything. [This one is a long spider parasite track]
Whiplash, once again, has been relegated to the backseat of my daydreams because I need to develop him more
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kyberphilosopher · 3 years
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Androphobia
Requested? No Word Count: 7014
An Android attempts to offer comfort to someone with sleeping trouble.
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Androphobia [an·drow·fow·bee·uh]; Fear of or aversion to men. A related concept is misandry, the hatred of men, but not necessarily fear of them.
  * ✭ ˚ ✧* ・゚ * ✭ ˚・゚✧*・゚  *
Every woman or female born member of society has experienced an off putting encounter with a man. 
This is not to be entirely blamed on men- not as a whole, no. But individuals, the ones you run into on your way out of the grocery store, the ones who stop you on the streets, they are the ones to blame. Some women have the guts to tell them off. Not an easy task with the given anxiety, but one to take pride in for the capability that comes with it. Some women stay quiet, rush away as fast as their polite feet can take them and hope someone will see the problem. They usually don’t. And some women are outliers, tricking their ways out of interactions with these men one way or another, and to them I take my hat off. 
There are men who are easily construed as monsters, when in the dead of night their silhouettes flash beneath the tallest of streetlights. And there is no reason to not believe them as such right then and there, for as spoken by our Lady Galadriel, “the hearts of men are easily corrupted.” And any look into statistics will back up this fear, any personal experience, any hug that’s gone on just a bit too suspiciously long, any catching of those wandering eyes and it’s easy to feel in your heart that men are not to be trusted. They are not to be confronted, nor left alone with, and they will jump at the opportunity to put down anyone for the validation of other men. 
This is the reality of women and men in 2021. It is the same for several in 2039.
 * ✭ ˚ ✧* ・゚ * ✭ ˚・゚✧*・゚  *
You step out of your old, dusty car. Chips of the dark red paint flake away as the raindrops hit it. Above you, the gloomy, warm gray clouds roll against each other in different shades and sizes, high above the skyscrapers and the stress of the world.
Gathering your belongings for the day, you shut the door with your hip and shoulder everything. Then you make your way towards the Police Department, your work, with the heels of your shoes scuffing against the parking lot. 
Across the way, you can see Detective Reid, who rubs his brow while he does his usual slamming of the car door. There’s no point in looking for Hank at this ungodly hour, he’d never be in on time. He’ll probably park his car next to yours as usual- a little too close so it’s hard to squeeze into your own and pull out without causing his vehicle damage, but you never say anything. Not because you are one of the people who feel threatened by Hank as a man- It’s more because you trust Hank as a person, that you’d never bring up the obvious annoyances he places upon you and everyone else. Though, once you had tried. 
(“Cars parked a little close, don’t you think?”
“Shut the hell up.”)
The inside of the Department is bustling. A female Android brushes past you briskly, the others at the front desk all seemingly click clacking away in their own brains. Even months after they’ve gained independence, it’s not uncommon for you to remember how they were before. How still and lifeless they were. And looking back on it, it was awfully sad. They seem busier now, more alive and fast. A strange image, in your mind, but not an unwelcomed one. 
You reach your desk in the lobby, on the right side of the room slightly separated from the officers. You’re a psychologist, so it’s not plausible for you to be seated next to bias. Instead you’re in your own corner, with a rather cluttered desk on the top and empty rows of drawers. You do, however, keep a small japanese cherry blossom tree on the top, courtesy of Hank, though his has all but fully withered at this point. 
And then you’re ready to start your day. Pull out your chair, click your pen and type away reports and notes on the computer to send to the detectives. You don’t have any meetings scheduled today, so there’ll be no need to prepare questions or anything of the sort. Just an easy day. 
And then...
As you and I, the dear reader, have already discussed, finding men to be generally scary is an easy task. And even though you are smart enough to know that it’s simply not possible to truly believe that every man or male presenting individual is terrible, or has done terrible things, or has experienced the desire to do something terrible, there are times where you can’t help the cautiousness. You can’t help the flinch, the distrust, the physical distance, the hand in your pocket grasping for anything to use in self defense. Seeing men like Detective Reid in power, brutish and given guns and easily agitated, certainly doesn’t help.
So when you swish your chair around and come to a stand, your heart drops. You’re looking into the presence of someone tall, with broad shoulders and a strong chest. A man. 
[Sort of.]
“Good morning, Doctor L/N.”
“Connor,” you breathe out, eyes flitting down as you attempt to quiet the thump thump thumping of your heart in your throat. “I- I didn’t-”
“Your heart race has increased. You appear stressed, Doctor L/N.”
He cocks his robotic head to the side, his eyebrows creasing as the literal gears in his head turn. 
“You just startled me,” you admit, grabbing the back of your chair and moving it over as an excuse to create a bit of distance between you and the [possible] threatening force. “What is it, Connor?”
Now, for context, you and he were not considered close. You’ve spoken a few times, though never as friends, only friendly. You remember seeing him last Winter, when he would stand out in the snow outside the station, just gazing up after Hank had already returned to his own home. You remembered how he was different from the other Androids, besides being more advanced to begin with. You’d never said anything about that. It was obvious the only person it would’ve really mattered to, Hank, was already aware of this. And Hank liked Connor. There was no point in interfering. 
In Connor’s eyes, you could really do no wrong. You were smart, intelligent, and diligent in your work. Your job had been threatened by the presence of Androids for years by the time Connor had showed up, but it still appeared that they wouldn’t have done your legacy justice. But despite this, interactions were scarce. You were not friends. You were friendly. And you were always on your guard. 
“I was hoping to hear your thoughts on a case Lieutenant Anderson and I have been working on,” Connor tells you. He’s always made efforts to keep eye contact with people, and the tilt of his head tries to follow your eyeline to do so. But it’s never to any avail. “I apologize for the abruptness, but the thought only occured to me last night and I think it could be a good one.”
“Yeah, sure,” you answer. “I can help with that. I’ll get the details from Hank when he comes in.”
“No need,” the Android quickly assures you. When you look up to him for a brief second, you can see his tongue sway against his bottom lip, creating the softest of imprints. His dark eyes glitter like a beatles in the catch from the light above. 
He produces a light, manilla colored folder lined inside with papers. “I hope you’ll find all the details you need here,” he explains, offering the file to you. 
You take it after a moment, watching his thumb let go in the softest, most normal way possible. 
“Thank you, Doctor L/N,” Connor smiles. “I’ll go get you your morning coffee.”
Connor is like a dog in that way. Not in an insulting way, or an obedient way. In a kind way, in a warm way. With his chocolate eyes and the dimples when he smiles, it’s hard not to want to just believe that he is incapable of hurting anyone or anything. Especially a woman. 
But when you snap back to reality, you can see his male form. His set back shoulders, the robotic strength, the fact that he was programmed to execute any task he so desires. And then you’re right back on edge, wanting to step back from him until you’re sure you can take a full breath. 
It’s easier when he’s taken himself away. You can see him through the glass walls in the kitchen, waiting for the pot to heat up. Doesn’t seem so bad from far away, like most of them do. 
You return to the chair and open the file. At first, your eyes flit to the pictures attached at the top- one of a woman that looks so familiar, another of a man whose angry brows cover his eyes. Then they move to the written report, and something clicks. 
The woman in the picture was an acquaintance from college. The man next to her was the main suspect, and apparently her lover.
* ✭ ˚ ✧* ・゚ * ✭ ˚・゚✧*・゚  *
“Morning Doc,” Hank waves tiredly. Then his tone changes slightly. “The fuck are ya doing at my desk for?” 
You push yourself from your lean on the edge of his property anxiously. “I read the report on your case. The Carla Rodriguez one.”
Hank sighs in his classic sigh, tired and grumpy from the morning and being alive. “What about it?” he questions, rummaging through his large bag of prescription pill bottles he’s brought with him every day this year. You suspect Connor has something to do with this.
“I had a... personal relationship with the victim,” you begin, crossing your arms. “I knew her.”
Hank looks at you, bewildered. “You were sleeping with my victim?”
“What? No. What? I- anyway. Carla and I were in college together.”
Hank’s face changes. He leans back with high raised brows in the way he does when processing something. 
“The boyfriend did it. I remember him from back then, I think. Real angry guy.”
“You’re sure you know what you’re talkin about?” Hank questions you, though not in an insulting way. You know it’s anything but that. 
“I’m sure. I can tell you what you need but you know I can’t testify. You won’t be able to use my bias in your report.”
“But the bias is the whole point.”
Your eyebrows shoot up, along with your shoulders. It’s the universal symbol for ‘I don’t know what to tell you’. 
“You talked to Connor about this?”
“Well, no. I- he wanted my opinion but I didn’t tell him this part.”
Hank glances around. “Where's he at anyway?”
You shrug again. You’re thinking about the disposable coffee cup on your desk, left there by Connor a few hours ago, that you’d never brought yourself to touch. 
“Run it by the Android before we do anything,” Hank advises you. “Nutjob’s got this whole system in his head.”
“Yeah,” you mutter as Hank seats himself. “That guy’s weird.”
“Tellin’ me?” Hank groans. 
And the rest of the morning you spend avoiding Connor, thinking at your desk, barely doing your job while you let yourself get lost in thought. You’re not usually like this. You’re very professional at work- you love this job. The thrill, the learning about criminals and their rehabilitation- it makes you feel so tranquil. Complete, even. 
But knowing a victim, knowing the perpetrator, still adapting to the change of Androids looking happy for once, knowing Hank pretends you’re the child he lost- it... it...
You snap your drawer shut. 
What’s wrong with you today? 
You huff out dry air. When you turn ever so slightly, you can see Hank at his desk, eyes already on you with concerned and empathetic brows. Seeing him calms you down a little, at least makes you feel more in the real moment. After a moment, you turn back straight. Then you smooth back your hair, and open a your file again. 
“Doctor L/N?”
You look up slowly, recognizing the boyish, sturdy voice of Connor. Sure enough, there he is. Tall, looking down at you with his warm, brown eyes. They remind you of an excited, loyal dog. Yeah, you think, Connor seems like a dog person. 
And then you catch the sharpness of how broad his shoulders are, how little effort it would take for him to kill you, or pin you down, or come at you in the dark. 
“Can I speak with you candidly, Doctor L/N?”
“You...may,” you say slowly. Connor begins to squat, until he is level with your eyeline, though he’s over on the other side of your desk. From your view, your cherry blossoms pink petals stand out against the paleness of his skin, and then the darkness of his hair. 
“I heard what you said earlier to the Lieutenant,” he begins. 
Truthfully, your eyes flicker around his face, mostly between his lips and his nose and his eyes. They’re all so realistic. Well, obviously that was the point in his creation, but still. They’re so human. Connor is human. Even the way he seems to move his mouth, like his lips are just a little dry, is human. Such a strange detail. Perhaps you would never have noticed it if he hadn’t gotten this close. 
“When?” you question. 
“About 3 hours ago, about the file I gave you.”
Your eyes snap away. Connor’s own eyes follow your movement. 
“I know that this must be difficult for you-”
“Connor,” you sigh, slightly exasperated, but still holding it together. Your eyes close like you can’t bear to look at anything in the present moment right now. You must be trying to pretend that you’re somewhere else. “I’ll be alright. This was in my job description.”
The Android’s eyebrows knit for a split second, confused. “Overseeing the psychology behind your friends death was in your job description?”
And it’s a genuine question from him. That’s what makes it so hard to contain your laughter, no matter how frustrated or overwhelmed you are right now.
“Yeah,” you finally muster with a light chuckle. “Apparently.” Then you’re back to business. “This is my job. I’ll be alright. Thank you for your concern.”
“I just considered that, since you’ve been on the news before, the suspect could know that you’re involved.”
“So?” you ask, slightly more snappy than intended.
“He may know you’re here and subsequently attempt to cause you harm.”
There are two conflicting sides in your brain right now. The first one says: Now think about this. How could he harm you in a place full of cops? It’s not like he knows where you live or anything. How could he even find that out? When they bring him in, he’ll be in custody the whole time. Gavin won’t let him out of those handcuffs. Everything will be just fine. 
And the other part? It shows you a dark, masculine figure, looming over you. Police department or not, he is there. He will cause you grief and harm, do something so terrible to you you could not even fully imagine it enough to anticipate yourself. 
And, despite your better judgement, and to your full awareness, you listen to the second half. 
“Okay, so,” you breathe out. “So what are you saying?”
Connor’s eyes draw to his left in a stutter, his mouth parting as if he’s in consideration. “The Lieutenant and I had talked about... having you stay in a... safer place.”
Your eyebrows pinch together. “What do you mean by that?”
Connor looks so human in this moment. it’s so apparent, and piercing in this exact second. The details in his eyes, slightest of blemishes on his cheekbones. 
Connor leans in, his eyebrows raising. Subconsciously, you lean back ever so slightly in response. 
“We were thinking of taking you to the Lieutenants place.” He sees your eyes widen, getting ready to give a vocal response. “It’s a very safe place,” Connor promises. “I can assure you there are many rooms to your liking.”
You take a minute, looking the Android right in his warm, hopeful, perfectly symmetrical eyes. “Connor, I’m not interested in having this discussion right now.”
“It’s just-”
“Back off,” you snap. It’s assertive. Something you don’t usually do towards masculine presenting beings. 
As soon as you say it, you regret it, however. The person across from you just looks so heartbroken, almost. His big brown eyes, the ones that remind you of a loyal dog, are looking right at you. How could you not feel bad for snapping at Connor? Sweet Connor, who doesn’t take pleasure in hurting people no matter how much you convince yourself he does. 
* ✭ ˚ ✧* ・゚ * ✭ ˚・゚✧*・゚  *
The Carla Rodriguez murder case went on for two more days. Her boyfriend, unfortunately, was not yet found. Hank was working on obtaining a warrant based on your instincts that would give him access to search family members houses for the man. Things were becoming focused. 
Each night you went home, you struggled to sleep. You did in fact, find out that Connor may have been onto something when he suggested the consideration of safety. You indeed stayed up later than usual, using both locks on your dirty apartment door for once. It was hard to fall asleep. Whenever you did, it became all too easy for you to imagine a solid, big, broad shouldered figure standing over the foot of your bed, waiting to strike. 
A man, as usual. 
Ironically, you did feel better when Hank- a man- would come into the station. And then there was Connor, who was somewhere between a puppy and a wolf, half following Hank, half fully capable of loading and discharging a gun. Connor made you feel safe too, but only by association. It felt bad to think about him after the snapping that occurred Thursday, but it could’ve made you feel worse to act unprofessionally in the work place. It was best you try to forget it, and try to forget that Connor has unlimited and invincible memory. 
On Sunday, you and Hank had your weekly scheduled lunch. Nothing fancy, just fast food from a food truck by the train tracks. You’ll both probably get burgers, except Hank will try to add lettuce and some vegan bullshit to convince you he’s sticking to his diet. Of course he will. 
You throw the keys to your locker in the backroom into your desk drawer, and slip it closed. Across the floor, Hank is already ahead of you, tugging on his crappy jacket and somehow standing patiently and grumpily at the same time. 
“Ready to go?” you ask as you approach him, your own jacket in hand. 
“Yeah, just waitin’ for the kid,” Hank replies casually. 
“The kid?”
“I’m ready to go, Lieutenant,” the enthusiastic voice of Connor rings out. He has one of those voices where you can tell when he’s happy and smiling too, and he is in this very moment. 
Nobody ever joins you and Hank. You knew Hank had taken Connor to the truck before, but that was just between them, and this was just between you. An odd decision on Hank’s part to make such a change. 
“Alright,” Hank calls back. Then he turns to you, the smallest of knowing grins on his face. “Ready when you are, Doctor.”
You just nod your head and start walking out to Hank’s car, unsure of what to do think. In the end, you decide to just not think at all. 
“What are you doing this for?” you’d ask Hank as you were walking, when the Android known as Connor was out of earshot. 
“What? You got a problem with Connor?” You shake your head no. “Well good. Because besides bein’ a freak he’s perfectly fine.”
Yep. Thanks, Hank. 
The drive over is silent, besides Hank’s music. You like his taste, but it doesn’t make you feel less tense around Connor. On the other hand, Connor is completely oblivious of said tension. You can see him in the rearview mirror, smiling and looking out the window every now and again. 
Once arriving to the scene, Connor gets out first. You click your seatbelt away, about to pull the handle open when you notice Hank hasn’t moved at all. 
“You coming?”
“Mm,” Hank fake thinks, flipping through his cd cases. “Nah.”
“Well then... well then are you even hungry?”
“I got food back at the office,” he sighs, not even looking up at you. “Indian from last night. Gonna wreak havoc on the ol’ plumbing.”
“Then what did you bring me here for?” you question finally, developing a tension headache from how often you’ve been knitting your brows together lately. 
Hank looks up and over, an almost offended expression on his face. You can see it in his wide old eyes, the angry eyebrows, the slightly opened mouth. 
“Because I’m trying to create a warm and loving social circle.”
“You one time told me die because I ate your jar of pickles!” you cry. “Oh my god- Hank, is this about me and Connor? Is that it? You want us to get along?”
“Yeah, and what if I do?” Hank turns to you fully, putting an angry hand on the steering wheel to clutch something. 
“It doesn’t matter!” you exclaim. “It literally doesn’t matter at all!”
Hank is quiet. You can see his beady, angry eyes on you, his jaw clenching. “Get the fuck outta my car,” he says at last. 
“Gladly,” you mutter. You open the door and slam it closed. 
Looking across the wet, rainy street, you can see Connor looking up at the sign of the food truck known as Chicken Feed innocently. You breathe out, feeling the heat from the previous ‘discussion’ beginning to melt away. 
Okay, Y/N, you tell yourself. Just go talk to him. 
You begin your walk across the street, hearing the light tapping of the rain hitting the asphalt all around you. His back is getting closer and closer. You still have a chance to turn around. 
“Hey, Connor,” you say lightly. 
“Hello, Doctor L/N,” Connor greets in return warmly. 
“Whatcha... thinking about eating, there?” you ask, both of you knowing damn well Androids can’t eat. 
“I’m not sure,” he admits. Then he shrugs, and very genuinely says, “I guess I could have some french fries.”
“Alright. I’ll get you some.”
And you do. And you feel so stupid while ordering it. The guy in charge, Gary, looks at you with an ‘are you sure?’ expression on his face, but you only continue with the order, confirming that, yes, you are sure. Then you and Connor sit next to each other in silence, waiting for your food to be ready. You pretend to be very interested in a stain on one of the back menus for about three straight minutes. 
“Here you go,” Gary hands you the food. You take the bags and speed off immediately to an umbrella by the place. Even though you’re essentially powerwalking at about 6 miles per hour, it doesn’t feel fast enough in the moment. Connor is right there beside you the whole time. 
“Here’s your fries,” you mutter, pushing the bowl towards him. 
“Thank you,” he says, formally. Then Connor just stares down into the bowl. 
“I appreciate you paying for this meal, Doctor L/N,” Connor decides to say after another moment. When you look up, you can see he’s leaning down ever so slightly so that he’s closer to your height, and making pretty sturdy eye contact. It’s moments like this that you think you’re talking to Connor’s social programming, and probably not him naturally. 
“You don’t have to call me Doctor, Connor,” you breathe. “We’re not at work right now.”
“I apologize. How would you like me to address you then?”
“Well... how would you like to address me?”
Connor thinks for a moment. You can tell because his led is switching between yellow and white. Then the beginning of his eyebrows start twitching, along with the corners of his mouth, just like a human would when they have several thoughts on the tip of their tongue but none of them seem just right. It’s cute when he does it. 
“You can just call me Y/N,” you rush out in an attempt to save Connor from quite possibly exploding. 
He does the twitching once more, then looks up to the top of the umbrella without moving his head. “And, is this outside of the workplace or in it as well?”
“What would you prefer?”
His led goes yellow again. He looks back to you. “That depends whether or not you consider us friends, Doctor L/N.”
This takes you back. You’re silent, stunned, looking at him with slightly widened eyes for a few seconds- maybe a whole minute- before you make the decision to look at your burger and change the subject. 
“How’s been adjusting to life as a free man?” you ask, unwrapping the foil from your warm food. 
Connor adapts to the subject change after a few seconds, and you know that he’s seen right through you. “It’s strange,” he tells you, deep in thought, but sincere. “But, people seem happy.”
“Are you happy?” you prompt further, biting a big bite into the meat. 
Connor thinks again. He thinks a lot. “Yes,” he decides. “I suppose I feel alive,” he admits. It sounds like a confession, and when he turns his head to look over to you, he sees your eyes are already on him. “Are you happy?”
“Am I happy?” you repeat in question. “I... guess I am, overall.”
“Do you enjoy working as a criminal and forensic expert?”
Now it’s your turn to think. You swallow down your bite. “Yeah, I think so. It’s what I’ve wanted for a long time. And now I have it, and I’m comfortable and all. So yes... And you? As a detective?” You bite into the burger again.
“Well, it is what I was created for,” Connor tells you, with an almost charismatic, joking tone. It looks like he’s smiling a little, too. Cute. “I think so. Working with Lieutenant Anderson has gotten better.”
“God, I remember when you first came in,” you roll your eyes. “Hank was all in a mood. One of the grouchiest days for him. But he likes you now.”
Connor watches you pull the burger away from your face. He’s thinking again, but also admiring your features from up close. He doesn’t usually get to do this with you. The proof is in the lack of response to the ‘would you consider us friends?’ question. 
“You know,” Connor says, and you can hear the sincerity in his voice for the millionth time. “I really admire how talented you are in your line of work.”
You feel heat in not just your cheeks, but in the rest of your face as well, as if you have a very sudden fever. You decide to keep your face down, trying to naturally make it not look like you’re using your burger as a shield. “Thank you,” you respond. 
The heat begins to subside, so you look back up to him. “I admire your...” and you can’t finish the sentence. Not because you can’t think of anything to admire. You know you had a good one in mind to say to him. But when you look up at his boyish face, with the innocent smile and the comforting eyes and the most human details in his skin, you lose your train of thought. 
It seems too late and rude to continue by the time you regain it, so you just decide to leave it and eat your burger as quickly as possible. 
“Are you done with your fries?” you ask, as Connor looks down at the untouched basket.
“Yes, thank you.”
You don’t even look into the waste of 2 dollars as you speed walk to the trash can and dump it full of everything. Then you hop across the street, Connor right behind you.
Getting back into Hank’s car makes you roll your eyes. It’s not that you’re mad with Connor anymore so much- not that you would describe the feeling as mad in the first place. You’re not even sure you’re ‘mad’ at Hank so much anymore. It’s more like you’re in the area that you previously had a yelling match in, so all that energy is still there. So stupid.
“Hey, you two,” Hank greets, though to you it sounds condescending.
“Hello,” Connor chirps back.
You just shoot Hank a glare.
“How was lunch?” The old man prompts, holding your eye contact knowingly the entire time.
“It was fine,” you tell him.
“Fine?”
“Yeah,” you practically seethe. “Just fine.”
* ✭ ˚ ✧* ・゚ * ✭ ˚・゚✧*・゚  *
You stay in your house for another two days. Sleeping has become far more difficult, though you’d never openly admit it. Hank can see it in your face. There’s dark circles under your eyes, far more noticeable than before. Your eyes are dragging themselves down, along with the rest of your body which seems to be in a constant slump. 
You’re like a zombie. You’re just carrying yourself around, mindlessly doing your tasks while you try not to nod off at work. Hank hasn’t said anything. He just watches you from afar, not knowing how to apologize because he’s never been able to pull himself into one. 
Connor hasn’t said anything either. Hank’s pet has continued his daily routines around the precinct, going where he’s told and sitting on the other side of the older man. You haven’t been observing them much lately. Been a bit too preoccupied with the threat of sleep paralysis to do anything that you find matters in a social sense. 
Carla’s case is still open. Her boyfriend is still out there, watching and waiting. Maybe for you. Maybe for some other innocent woman. You keep picturing him towering over you, his shoulders looming, strong jaw twitching with anger. Those masculine brows, defined with the intent to strike at you. Kill you, like your old friend. 
Finally, on the fourth day of little to know sleep, you fell asleep at your desk. Completely zonked out, your head slumped against the surface, squishing your cheek in the process. Connor jumped up from his seat, Hank following shortly after. But there was no threat, you were simply resting. Once the two realized this, they calmed a little. Hank opted to send Connor over to you to check you out, crossing his arms as he got ready to observe. 
The Android creeps over. Your breathing is steady. So is your heartrate. You’re not in shock or anything at all. You’re not even hurt. 
“Y/N?” he prompts lightly, now crouched to be close enough to your ear so he can whisper. His chocolate eyes glance around the precinct, looking for anyone who might have noticed you to try and save you some embarrassment. Then he glances towards the Captain in his office, and he knows he has to hurry himself so you don’t get caught and reprimanded. 
“Doctor L/N?”
No response. Connor looks back at Hank, who shrugs his shoulders nonchalantly with little help. 
“Doctor L/N, you have to wake up,” he tells you, poking the back of your slumped shoulder. 
You were asleep, yes, but apparently not very deeply. You stir from your slumber, raising your head and your mousy appearance to look over at Connor with confused eyes. 
“What happened?” you strain, stretching. Connor detects a bit of drool on the corner of your lips. 
“You fell asleep at work,” Connor explains slowly. 
“I did?” you squint, obviously still out of it. 
“You have... drool on your lips.”
You wipe the left corner. “The other side,” Connor gestures lightly to his own lips. “Yes. You got it.”
“Was I out for long?” you look around, adjusting to the so very bright lights of the building. 
“No,” Connor answers in that sweet, sweet voice of his. “Maybe a minute, or two.”
“Oh,” you say, your eyes wandering around. 
* ✭ ˚ ✧* ・゚ * ✭ ˚・゚✧*・゚  *
That night, it rains. 
Thunder echoes, with  ripples of light from the lightning that bears across the sky like great claw hands. 
You watch the view out your window from the middle of your bed for a long time. You’re curled up in a ball on the blankets, not even under them. You’re just there, watching the sky that reflects in your eyes. 
A sudden stir in you gives you a change of heart. Something you can’t explain to the fullest extent, something not even I, the one in charge of relaying all that’s happening to you, could explain the exact feeling. It’s like the snapping of a rubber band at 2:15 in the morning. 
You can’t stay in this apartment anymore. Not even two locks are enough to protect you. Not your kitchen knives, or the gun given to you from the department for self defense. None of it seems like enough, because all of those things are used after something happens. They don’t prevent it. 
You’re in a hurry. The comfiest pajamas you own are soaked in the salty rain water and protected only by the simplest of winter coats you own. It’s nice, though not appropriate for the current weather of course. Your hair gets drenched fast. Every individual drip that falls from the tip of your nose is felt, like you’re more hyperaware than usual. 
Now you’ve arrived at a house. A one story, fairly inexpensive home with a garage and recognizable old car out front. As you approach, you can already hear the barking of a dog, see a neighbor turn their lights on briefly to observe you, and feel the shivering of your knuckles as they tap on the door sporadically.
Come on, Hank, you think.  Please protect me. Please do this for me. 
And, believe me, Hank Anderson would’ve done it had he been awake. But he hadn’t been, and so he didn’t answer the door. Instead, the door swings open, and inside you see an Android. 
A tall one, with soft facial features. He has long, dark eyelashes framing dark eyes, surrounded by dark hair. He’s clean and clear cut, very put together. It’s Connor, Hank’s pet that you’ve never been able to get the hang of knowing. And he’s as shocked as you are. 
Your drenched hair, shivering body, distant look in your eyes. Though, Connor’s unsure of how he would appear if he had to show up to anyone’s house at 2:34am. Probably unwell. Probably a little bit like you. 
“Doctor L/N,” he says, though it seems mostly to himself. His parched lips barely move, though you notice how pink they look in comparison to everything else right now. 
“Can I come in?”
Connor is still for a few seconds, obviously still processing your appearance. For what, you don’t know. Must’ve been one of the few things he’s simply unable to calculate. But then he moves himself to the side, and you carry yourself in. 
As soon as the door closes behind you, everything is so much warmer. You haven’t been to Hank’s place in months, but it still feels as homey as it did before. It’s cleaner than it was a year ago. There’s more pictures on the walls, more clutter lining the shelves. He’s starting to care about things again. That’s good. 
“What are you doing here?” you suddenly ask, turning around to face Connor. 
That’s right- what is he doing here? He and Hank couldn’t be living together, could they? Or is... or is it that Hank is pretending Connor is someone else, too?
Connor’s led goes yellow, then blue, then back to yellow. “Lieutenant Anderson has offered me a place to stay until I’m ready to go on myself,” he explains, though the way it looks at you makes it seem like Connor doesn’t want to tell you this. Like he feels the need to explain himself. 
“Are you alright, Y/N?”
You wipe your face, smearing your leftover makeup from your eye with the rain water. It burns, but you can’t feel it over the cold. “I uh- um... I’ve been having trouble- trouble sleeping.”
Connor’s lips close, and he looks at you in understanding as you stand there, now feeling your own pressure of having to explain yourself. 
“Just like... at my place I can’t- can’t sleep. Not a lot of it.”
Connor knows he shouldn’t, but it’s right there on the very tip of his tongue. It’s so close to just spilling out, until finally it does, all at once. He’s too curious to try and stop it. “Why?”
“I just- I can’t-”
You’re looking everywhere. The floor, the wall, covering your eyes with your arm or your hand, shifting back and forth between feet, making a soggy spot on the floor from your dripping clothes. 
“Can’t sleep.”
When you look up to Connor again, you feel better. Still panicked, but like you’re not in trouble. His eyes are so soft. They’re so human, and comforting. He looks at you like he understands, and like he’s not upset. You can see why Hank would pretend he is who he is now. But there’s no one for you to pretend who Connor is. He’s just Connor. And he’s better than you. 
* ✭ ˚ ✧* ・゚ * ✭ ˚・゚✧*・゚  *
Connor lets you wear one of his sets of identical clothes. It’s a grey t-shirt and blue pajama pants. Your hair is still wet, but Connor doesn’t say anything. He lets you sit on the couch and watch one of Hank’s basketball recordings while he goes to make tea. 
He brings it to you and sets it down on the coffee table in front, but like days ago, you can’t bring yourself to touch it. Connor’s made himself a cup too, but doesn’t drink it. It’s deadly silent, the only light coming from the faint glow of the tv, the only sound coming from the biases of those annoying sports commentators. 
“Connor?” you whisper hoarsely, turning your body to face him. 
He looks over at you, at full attention. Such a soft boy. 
“Do you think I’m afraid of anything?”
Connor’s led goes yellow. It flickers in circles until finally he says, “What do you mean, Y/N?”
You look down at your hands. “W-when I try to sleep, I see someone,” you say, not bearing to look at anyone from that gender for a moment. “He never leaves me alone. I feel like I- like I’m seeing this thing everywhere. I can’t avoid it. It won’t leave me alone.”
“What is it?” Connor prods gently, leaning in in that innocent, but curious way he does. 
You open your mouth like you’re going to answer, but then your mouth goes dry. Instead, you just shrug your shoulders in a weak attempt of lying. 
“Um... why are you still awake?” you ask instead. 
“Androids don’t need to sleep,” Connor explains to you. “We just power down to conserve energy, but I don’t need as much as others.”
A light puff of air escapes your nose in time with the flickering of the corners of your lips. “Sounds like you’re bragging,” you tease for a second. 
Then it goes quiet.
“I don’t think you’re scared of anything,” you hear Connor’s voice say clearly. “At least, not that I’ve seen. You’re very diligent in your work.”
You take the compliment. It warms your chest for a moment, but the pit inside you is not so easily gotten rid of.
Your nails scrape against each other, breaking while you pick at one of your index fingers. “I think I have like... this fear of men. Fear of something.”
Connor’s led goes yellow.
“Androphobia, also known as the fear of male presences, affects nearly one third of the current female population.”
Connor watches you continue to pick at your nails. The memory of you standing at the door step, shivering like a kitten, drowning in the rain water stays on his mind. “Is this what you think you have, Y/N?” he asks, though this time it’s far more soft.
It sounds like he really cares.
You look up to him, your eyes glossing over from stress and the incoming wave of tears you can feel in the back of your throat.
“I can assure you, Doctor L/N, you are safe here,” Connor continues, holding eye contact as he speaks. “I won’t let any kind of harm get to you.”
The tears in your eyes seem less violent now. Like they’re disappearing already. And that’s how the story ends, in fact. With you, looking up at Connor, seated on Hank’s couch with your hair dripping around you- him promising not to hurt you. It ends on the silence that follows, right between the stare the two of you share.
  * ✭ ˚ ✧* ・゚ * ✭ ˚・゚✧*・゚  *
This is the first thing I’ve proof read. Also one of the longest things I’ve written somehow? It was fun. I apologize for any mistakes as English is not my first language.
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joaquinwhorres · 3 years
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Blank Out (Bucky Barnes x Reader)
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SUMMARY ››››› Bucky Barnes has a list of names–amends he needs to make. When he gets to yours, he finds the amends process a bit more…difficult than it should be.
WORD COUNT ››››› 1,700-ish
WARNINGS ››››› language
A/N ››››› Oh hey, look at me jumping on that Falcon and the Winter Soldier trend. This is the Y/N version of my OC fic. Exactly the same but for people who prefer Y/N. Lemme know if you want to join the tag list!
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Bucky stood outside of the door, staring at the wreath of brightly colored fabric leaves, a small wooden sign hanging in the center with the words Give Thanks looping across it. 
He doubted there was going to be much thankfulness for him on the other side of the door. 
He shifted his weight from one foot to the other.
This was supposed to be getting easier. Dr. Raynor told him it would get easier. 
But for someone who hated bullshit so much, she really spent far too much time talking out of her ass. Because this wasn't easy. 
Easy would be surreptitiously wiring a million dollars into each of their bank accounts from the HYDRA accounts he still had access to.
Easy would be taking out anyone who had been involved in the decision to give him the order. 
Easy would be breaking the damn rules. 
The rules aren't meant to make your life easy, James. They're meant to disconnect you from the Winter Soldier. That's the whole point of making amends, isn't it? 
He'd give anything to get her damn voice out of his head. 
Bucky propelled himself up the front porch steps before he could change his mind. Like he had last yesterday. 
He rapped on the front door, accidentally knocking the wreath sideways as he went to pull his hand away. Instinctively, he reached out to right it, centering the sign and taking his hands away slowly to avoid a repeat of the situation. Bucky checked over his shoulder, half expecting Sam's stupid little robot to Zoom into view with Sam cackling and making some dumb quip about metal butterfingers. But Redwing wasn't there. The only other person outside was an old man mowing his lawn in a dingy white undershirt and grey sweatshorts. Bucky's lip curled in disgust before turning back to the door--the sound of locks clicking out of place putting him on alert. 
"Hello?" 
Bucky blinked, his eyes meeting those of the woman before him. Her eyes were striking, pinning him to the spot and pushing all semblance of thought out of his head. 
"Can I help you?"
Bucky blinked, nodding at her. Right. He was here for a reason. Not to stand like some teenage boy who'd just seen the girl next door for the first time. 
"I'm looking for Y/N Y/L/N."
"You found her." 
He blanched. "You're Y/N Y/L/N?" 
The look of vague curiosity that had been gracing features markedly shifted into a look of annoyance. "Believe it or not, Y/N’s come in all shapes, sizes, and colors." 
Fuck this. He needed to get out of here. There was no way he could have this conversation now. 
"Still want to talk to me?" She asked, eyebrows arched and arms folded across her chest. 
No. 
Sam's laughter echoed in his head, as if he'd been here to witness the exchange. And that's why he stayed. Out of spite. 
He nodded. "My name is James "Bucky" Barnes and--"
"Wait a second," she held out a hand and raised an eyebrow on him. He did as she asked, stopping mid-sentence with a sinking feeling in his gut. "You're the Bucky Barnes?"
He nodded, resigned to the fact that this was going to be his worst attempt at amends yet. "Yeah." 
"Well," she breathed, dropping her arms. "If I'd known I was meeting an Avenger at my door, I might have put on some pants." 
His eyes ran down from her face, noticing for the first time that she wore a dressing robe that barely swept the tops of her knees. Her bare knees.
His mouth opened as if he had even the faintest clue how to respond to this and then his jaw moved up and down for a new second as if the motion of talking would bring words. While it didn't muster an apology or some other decent thing to say, he did manage to utter a single word: "Shit."
She snorted at the reaction before smiling for the first time and shaking her head. "If you want to come in and wait, I'll go get changed."
He shook his head. "I can wait out here."
She was still smiling. Probably because she realized he was far more pathetic up close. "Suit yourself, but there's eggs inside."
"I'm good," he said, forcing himself to give a tight smile that didn't reach his eyes. She nodded, leaving the door open behind her as she disappeared inside the house--as if he'd change his mind.
He should leave right now. Turn around and come back a different day when he could at least function like a mostly human being. Bucky ran a hand through his hair, scratching the back of his head. 
The quick, sharp sound of pattering bare feet broke his stream of thought, as another girl came to the door, standing before him with her hands on her hips. "We were having breakfast, you know," the girl announced, her voice dripping with sass. "Now we have to wait until she's done talking to you. And I'm starving." 
Bucky raised an eyebrow. "Shouldn't you be….not talking to strangers?"
"Shouldn't you be eating breakfast?" she countered.
"It's ten in the morning; I ate already."
"We were supposed to have breakfast an hour ago. But Ravi--"
"Rocio, leave Bucky Barnes alone," Y/N's voice called from elsewhere. 
Before he could fully process how odd it was for him to use his name, the little girl's hands dropped from her hips and she stared up at him, mouth agape and eyes comically wide. 
"You're Bucky Barnes?" she asked, her small voice awed. 
He nodded with a deep sigh and another forced smile. 
"What happened to your hair?"
"Got a haircut," he shrugged.
She furrowed her brow at him, her little eyes peering intently at his face. He wasn't sure the last time someone had looked him in the eyes this long. Nobody except Steve had looked him in the eyes since he made it out. The corner of his mouth twitched up. She nodded at him, having composed herself so her little face was serious once more. "I like this better."
"Thanks." He couldn't keep the amusement from his voice. He didn't even really try. 
A thought seemed to hit her, lighting up her whole face with excitement. "Wait right here. Don't move. Promise."  He nodded again and she raised her eyebrows at him, giving him a stern look. 
"I promise," he said, clearly stating each word.
She nodded at him. "Ok. Good." And then she turned and ran into the house, her feet making far more sound than they should for someone of her size.
Y/N reappeared shortly thereafter with a faint smile on her lips, dressed in a copper colored sweater and jeans. "Sorry. You're her favorite."
"She's cute." 
What an idiotic thing to say. 
"Wish I could take credit," Y/N said, shaking her head. "She's my sister's. I'm just the babysitter on duty."
There were some more sounds of scampering and Rocio was back at the door wearing a long black satin glove, reaching about halfway up her bicep. There were lines streaked across it in gold marker to make it look like it was made of metal plates. 
"I made an arm like yours!" she announced, almost whacking Y/N in the stomach as she extended her arm out for him to see. 
He couldn't believe what he was seeing. He'd seen Halloween costumes for sale and shirts with one of the sleeves modeled after his arm, and pictures of guys with an arm wrapped in tinfoil. All of them had been with his old arm--his silver one with the red star. The arm that belonged to Him. An arm made to invoke fear. 
This was the arm of a protector. 
She deserved more of a reaction than a small, breathy, "Wow." 
"Will you sign it?" Her eyes got even bigger if possible, and Y/N started to shake her head, bending over to talk to the little girl,  but Bucky stopped her. 
"You got a marker?"
"I'll go find one!" Rocio disappeared again, leaving him and Y/N alone on the doorstep. She was closer this time, and he could hear her talking to herself and rustling through different drawers. 
Y/N turned her attention from her niece back onto Bucky. "So, why is Bucky Barnes on my doorstep?"
"I uh--when does your sister get home?" he asked, eyes focused in the direction of Rocio's sounds. He swallowed, tearing his eyes away and back up to hers. "I should probably tell both of you...together."
The playful amusement that had been on her face disappeared as she stared at him, as if trying to see inside his head. Like she would want to see what was inside of his head. 
"She'll be here around three." 
He nodded, saved from a response by Rocio's re-appearance, waving a silver sharpie in the air. She offered it to him, and he plucked it out of her hand, taking hold of her toothpick of an arm in one hand and signing his name on the inside of her bicep. Where she could hide the signature if she wanted to.
Bucky handed the marker back to her as Rocio held her arm out, trying to catch sight of his name. 
"Rocio," Y/N prodded, gently. 
"Thank you!"  she chirped, before turning and literally skipping back inside. "Ravi--look!"
He liked her.
"That was really kind of you," Y/N said, warmly. "I think you just made her year." 
He shrugged. 
"Although, I have a feeling that this is all she's going to talk about for the next week," Y/N sighed, shaking her head. "Anyway, Lilly will be back around three if you want to come back then and share whatever secret serious news is it that you need to tell us together." Her voice was teasing, and Bucky's mouth lifted into a smirk.
"I'll be back then." 
"Great," she smiled politely. "See you then." 
He nodded, wishing her goodbye before turning down the stairs.
So much for getting easier.
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hermannsthumb · 3 years
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possible prompt for a university au: newt is the biology major who maintains all the fish tanks in the physics building at 11pm and hermann is the physics student who likes to wander the halls to think. newt accidentally flings water all over the ground and hermann trips, hijinks ensue.
earlier today I was thinking about how I wrote a college AU fic almost 3 years ago to the date, and how I wanted to do more bc its fun thinking about newt and hermann as dumb college students
----
Newt's not really sure how he ended up with the weirdest work-study job on the planet, but honestly, things could be much, much worse (he could be stuck down in the dining hall, or dealing with confused freshmen in the school bookstore) so he keeps his thoughts on the whole thing to himself. Every Friday at eleven sharp, Newt pulls on his grodiest t-shirt and a pair of long rubber gloves and treks all the way over to the physics department to set to work scrubbing down the fish tanks that line the classroom walls. Why does the physics department have fish tanks? Newt's not really sure about that, either. It's kind of an insane amount of them, too, more than even the marine bio department has. Maybe it's supposed to boost morale or something. Hey, look at these crazy cool tropical fish who get to do nothing but eat and swim in circles, sorry you're stuck inside calculating velocity and shit.
Whatever, Newt's not complaining about that either. Let the physics nerds have their fun. It'll be good for them to branch out a little, realize there's life beyond robotics club meetings.
Also, Newt likes the fish. They're cute. He likes to think they like him, too, because they're very well behaved when he has to scoop them out of their tanks and plop them into smaller fish bowls (the kind goldfish in movies always use). He's going to teach them tricks eventually—he had a beta fish once who would do a little flip when Newt tapped the glass a certain way because he knew he'd get rewarded with dried worms, so Newt knows it's possible. Just imagine, a hundred fish doing flips on command. Newt Geiszler, fish whisperer.
Yeah, maybe the job could be more glamorous. It's really hard to get algae out of the gloves, and he hasn't been allotted the budget for a new pair yet.
"Hey, guys!" he shouts as he pushes in the door to room 214. The fish don't acknowledge him: they just continue swimming in their giant tank. In and out of plastic plants and rock caves. The rock caves were a gift from Newt three months into the job, and so were some of the moss balls—stimulation is important for fish! He wouldn't want to be trapped in a glass box with nothing to do, either. "I bet you missed me. Ready for a clean tank?"
Newt always talks to the fish, even if they don't talk back, because he thinks it's important to build their trust. He'll usually keep a running commentary of his week as he scrubs the tanks, just get everything off his chest that he needs to get off. Stuff he's worried about. Stuff that went well. Stuff that went badly. Therapy's expensive, and Newt's student health insurance can only cover so much, but talking to fish? That's free.
That's also kinda why he does it so late at night and over the weekend. The last thing he wants is an audience. Because, one, talking to fish is admittedly weird, and two, no one wants a glimpse at Newt's psyche like that, probably not even the fish.
The first step in cleaning the tanks is relocation. Newt digs his stereotypical goldfish bowls and an industrial-size mesh wand out of the supply closet, fills the former with some of the special tank salt water, and begins the slow and arduous task of scooping out the fish and depositing them into the bowls. "I had the lamest week," he announces once he's about three clownfish in. "I was working on a group project Saturday—"
Then Newt stops, because he hears footsteps in the hallway just outside the classroom.
Serial killer, Newt's instincts supply helpfully.
No, Newt corrects himself, that's dumb. Why would a serial killer wander into the physics building at eleven o'clock at night? Why would anyone, period? He's probably imagining stuff. Lack of sleep, stress over his upcoming projects, residual embarrassment from his disaster study session Saturday, all of it culminating in Newt thinking there's someone there. No, definitely imagining it. Newt can only even get in this late to the department because his ID swipe card is set up with the right permissions—not even the physics students have the permissions he does to be in this late at night. Well, not unless they clean the kitchenette in the student lounge or something.
Or if Newt left the door unlocked.
More footsteps. Closer now.
Newt's pretty sure he didn't leave the door unlocked, because he thinks it locks automatically behind him, and he would have to literally prop it open for anyone to get in after him. But anything's possible. The door could've caught on a dropped pencil or a paper scrap or other weird shit that physics students leave around, and a serial killer could've noticed and taken the opportunity to sneak inside on the off chance a hapless young biology major was scrubbing slime off fish tanks in the middle of the night. Any minute now, Newt's about to end up on an episode of Unsolved Mysteries. The Physics Department Murder. The Disappearing Biologist. (Nah, neither of those are very good titles, but that's why Newt isn't on the creative writing track.)
Step-tap-step. Closer now; Newt's heart leaps to his throat. Step-tap-step. Step-tap-step. Pausing just outside the door of room 214. God, why didn't Newt turn the lights off? Why didn't he shut the door?
Newt reaches for the first vaguely weapon-shaped thing he can find—an empty fishbowl, because Newt's not going to sacrifice any of the fish for this—and, as the door swings open, hurls it with a cry.
The bowl clunks on the ground. Except it turns out Newt grabbed the wrong fish bowl, because (even though it doesn't shatter, thank God) water quickly begins to seep across the slate floor tiles towards Newt's serial killer, a pathetic little clownfish (Newt thinks this one is named Albert, because the physics department is made up of nerds who do shit like name their random pet fish after their kind) flopping around in the puddle. Newt's serial killer, meanwhile, cries out similarly, his arms windmilling as he loses his footing and slips backwards, his cane—
Oh, fuck.
The intruder is not a serial killer. It's someone possibly worse, actually: Newt's mortal enemy, Hermann Gottlieb.
Newt's not really sure at what point Hermann became his mortal enemy and not just some guy I have class with that I hate, but he can pretty easily say that they've hated each other since the moment Hermann walked through the doors of Engineering 101 and was deigned Newt's lab partner by the Alphabetized By Last Name Seating Chart god. Something about Hermann just gets under Newt's skin. It's not his prissy English accent, or his oversized sweaters, or his absolutely horrendous haircut, and it's not even that he takes every opportunity to savagely rip apart every single thing Newt says in class. Don't get Newt wrong, that's all super fucking annoying, but it's annoying levels he can deal with.
It's the stuff they have in common that makes Newt hate him. It's like Hermann's a slightly broodier and more angular mirror that reflects all of Newt's most egregious faults—his arrogance, his stubbornness, his social awkwardness, his desperation to be taken seriously—right back at him. It sucks.
Plus, one time Newt caught Hermann ripping down the flyer he put up on the quad for Anime Club to advertise his stupid chess club instead, and he's never managed to forgive him for that.
Newt may hate Hermann, but he's not about to let him land on his ass in a puddle of fishy water (especially not on a freezing November night) just because the subsequent bitching would be unbearable, and, yeah, it would be supremely shitty of Newt, so he leaps forward just in time to catch Hermann and his cane before he hits the ground. He's so impressed with himself with his amazing catch that it takes him a few seconds to realize that Hermann is shouting and probably has been shouting since he slipped.
"—bloody maniac! What on earth are you doing in here? How are you in here? Did you just assault me? I'm going to phone campus police, you wretched—"
"Hold that thought," Newt says.
He rights Hermann and snags the mesh net and rescues poor Al before it's too late, dropping him back into the big tank with the rest of his friends. Newt can't be sure, but he thinks Al blows a bubble in thanks at him. Maybe he needs to make friends outside fish.
Hermann is still yelling at him.
"I am going to tell the head of the department you're—you're skulking about in here after hours!" he declares. "You're a menace. Pay attention to what I'm saying to you, Newton!"
Newt sighs and turns around. Hermann's turned an interesting shade of red—sort of like an over-boiled lobster, or if he fell asleep in the sun for too long. Newt wonders if it's from embarrassment (almost falling on his ass) or anger (almost being knocked on his ass). Probably anger. "Look, dude, I'm sorry," Newt says. His face twists like he ate a lemon, and he hopes Hermann doesn't notice. Newt hates apologizing to Hermann. "It's my job to clean the tanks every weekend. You scared the shit out of me and I freaked out—it's just that, like, no one ever comes by this late. Ever." He decides not to mention the serial killer thing. Hermann might make fun of him for being jumpy or paranoid or something.
Hermann's scowl doesn't lessen, but he does nod. Plus, he stops shouting. That's as much as Newt's gonna get of forgiveness. "Hmph," Hermann says. "You clean the tanks?"
"Every weekend," Newt repeats. He realizes he got some fish tank slime on Hermann's button-up when he caught him. Oops. Hopefully Hermann won't notice until Newt's in the safety of his dorm. "Gotta pay for my textbooks somehow." Then he frowns. "Wait, so what are you doing here? I didn't know you had access to the building this late."
Maybe Hermann is the kitchenette-cleaning guy after all. But, to his surprise, Hermann sniffs and casts his eyes to his dorky Oxford shoes. "Er," he says. "It's just—I was having trouble working out a solution to a problem, and thought a walk might do me good. Chilly nights like this one always do. And I quite like this building at night—it's calm, and much quieter than my dormitory." He fidgets. "And—well—only don't say anything to anyone, but I rewrote the permissions of my ID card so I could come and go wherever I please ages ago."
"You rewrote the permissions?" Newt says. "What the hell, wouldn't you have to hack into the security system or something to do that?"
"Well, obviously," Hermann says.
Despite himself, and despite Hermann being his Mortal Enemy, Newt is genuinely impressed. "Dude," he says. "That is so badass." Since when has Hermann been a badass?
Hermann's eyebrows jump, and he blinks at Newt behind his dorky librarian glasses. What twenty-one-year-old wears librarian glasses? With a chain? "You think so?" he says.
"Uh, totally," Newt says. "What problem were you stuck on? The one from Saturday?"
Being lab partners for engineering means Newt and Hermann have to collaborate on pretty much everything, including their midterms. Their midterm is what they've been working on for the past two weeks. On Saturday, though, they met in neutral ground to work on it (a reserved study room in the library), and, after a stupid and massive argument that had the librarians hoisting them out by their shirt collars and threatening to ban them for life, Hermann called Newt an idiot and stomped off into the night. Newt still hasn't gotten around to giving the problem another shot. Whatever, they have another week before the dumb thing is due. Plenty of time. Hermann nods. "Yes," he says. "Er—that one."
Newt glances at the clock ticking away on the wall. Quarter after eleven. Hermann's delayed him a whole fifteen minutes. Technically, he reminds himself, he doesn't actually have to have the tanks scrubbed by Friday night—he has the whole weekend to get it done. Also, he kind of feels like he owes Hermann for attacking him the way he did. Accidentally attacking. "Listen, Hermann," he says, feeling totally insane for what he's about to suggest. But he kind of wants to know more about Hermann The Badass. "What if we went back to my place and worked on it together? I'll buy us pizza, and I have, like, a bunch of energy drinks." The pizza place nearest campus is open until three in the morning, almost definitely because they get all of their business from sleep-deprived undergrads. Plus, they have midnight specials where you get free breadsticks with every pizza. Newt could go for some breadsticks. "It might be...fun," he adds.
Fun? With Hermann? Hermann will think he hit his head or something.
But to his surprise, Hermann doesn't hesitate even a second before saying "Alright, then."
"Oh," Newt says. He honestly thought Hermann would put up more of a struggle. "Cool!"
"But I might need to borrow a jumper," Hermann says. "If you'd be so...courteous, that is. I'm a bit chilly."
For some reason, the thought of Hermann (Newt's mortal enemy, but also a secret badass) curled up in one of Newt's baggy sweatshirts makes Newt feel all weird and warm all over. He swallows a few times, because his throat feels a little weird, too. Too tight. Like he just ate something he's allergic to. "No sweat," Newt says. "Let me just get these fish back in the, um, the tank. And—" He waves his slimy, gloved hands. "Take these off. And clean up that puddle. Gimme—um, gimme like, ten minutes?"
"Of course," Hermann says, and gives Newt a small, terse nod.
From Hermann, it's a smile. Newt almost slips on the puddle he's so blindsided by it. Stupid Hermann, making him feel all weird and clumsy.
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themaribatpit · 3 years
Text
Jasonette July Day 9: Pixie
Written by: The Maribat Pit  @jasonette-july-event
Prompt: Pixie
Rated: T
(By popular demand, a slight continuation of Game On @aespades, @certainmuffinbagelcalzone.)
A/n: Edits have been made because I noticed the paragraph errors AFTER posting this.
Marinette was really starting to miss the days of working with Chat Noir at that moment, and that was saying something.  “Bugaboo” and “My Lady” were starting to feel more tolerable when she wasn’t being called that every second of the day.  Being called “Pixie” regardless if she was Ladybug or Marinette, was really starting to get old, fast.  For reasons that she could not understand, that’s what Jason insisted on calling her.  Sure, she was a lot smaller compared to him, but that coupled with needing to hang back and let Red Hood and Arsenal deal out the heavier hits was starting to get on her nerves.  She was just as experienced as them, she had a mentor just like they did, and had been saving lives for just as long as they had.  Ever since she had joined them, she thought that she would be fighting alongside a team again.  Now she was either supporting them or using her sewing skills to add improvements to their suits.  She was in good hands, some might say hands that were a little too good.  All this frustrated her to no end because she liked Jason, she would have thought that someone who had been a vigilante from a young age would understand what it felt like to be constantly underestimated. 
“Unbelievable,” she snapped one night as she came home from another mission.  She pulled off her pink flats and threw them across the room as she entered her apartment.  She didn’t even get the chance to use her Miraculous, she was effectively closely guarded bait on that last mission.  She slumped on the bed in frustration and Tikki hovered over to her, her antenna drooping in concern.  “Some days I want to wipe that smile off of that stupid face, just to prove I can.” Marinette grumbled into her pillow.  She didn’t hate Jason, she knew that there was some good in him.  Roy was the more optimistic and cheerful of the duo, like Jason, he had also been mentored by a more experienced hero.  Jason was a lot more reserved and cynical by comparison, though he wasn’t a complete Ice Prince like his brother Damian. 
“Maybe it’s because they’ve been doing this for a little bit longer.” Tikki suggested, after Marinette complained about it for the umpteenth time.
“Batgirl and Black Bat are only a few years younger than me,” she reminded her, “and there’s no doubt that they could hold their own in a fight.  No one gives them stupid nicknames, just shortened versions of their real names out of costume.” Tikki awkwardly scratched the back of her head.  “I bet you that he barely remembers what my real name is.” Marinette was getting increasingly furious at the thought “it’s always ‘Pixie this’ and ‘Pixie that’. I know I’m shorter than him, but I have taken on giant robot dolls, literal monsters, and I once rode a dragon!” Marinette yelled. 
Marinette throws a pillow at Tikki, only for it to phase through her. “What does he think I do as Ladybug? Create Christmas presents with my Lucky Charm?!” 
 At this very unfortunate moment Jason happened to return back to their apartment with Roy in tow. “What’s got you riled up, Pixie Pop?” Jason quipped after seeing the frustrated look on her face. This was the last straw for Marinette, “Stop calling me that! Does it please you to demean me? Does it bring you joy to fucking bully me day in and day out?” Jason and Roy take a step back from Marinette’s outburst. Marinette continues “I have kept Paris safe ever since I was 13, I didn’t have the World's Greatest Detective or a Robin Hood cosplayer helping me. It’s always you two off saving the day while I’m the distraction. Do I have to remind you that I’ve beaten Robin and Red Robin?” 
 “So have we, right Roy?” Jason says look backwards to Roy. Roy meanwhile was slowly walking backwards with his arms up in surrender.
 “Don’t drag me into this please.” Roy pleaded. 
 Marinette continued her rant, “So why do you keep calling me Pixie Pop like I'm some pet or stuffed animal?” She storms up to Jason and pulls him down to her height by the collar. 
Roy sensed the tension and wanted absolutely no part in making it worse, “You know what? I’m gonna go get us some shawarma.”
Jason looked over at Roy “Really, Roy?” A slight scowl made it clear he knew Roy was essentially leaving him to face Marinette’s wrath.
“All I know is that they are open at four in the morning and I’m hungry, so I’ll be right back.” Roy said, and he left the room.  Just as he thought Roy was out of earshot, Jason heard sprinting down the hallway.  Roy had abandoned him to face the burning blue fire in Marinette’s eyes.
Marinette let go of him, she didn’t need them, she had made that absolutely clear. 
“I’m done,  I don’t expect you to understand what it’s like to be underestimated all of the time.” she muttered harshly, “to always be kept at arm's length, because no one trusts you to do anything right.”
Marinette had no idea just how deep her words cut him, and Jason couldn’t really blame her.  As far as she knew, compared to his brothers, he might as well just be ‘the one with the guns and leather jackets’.  He hadn’t really told her about what had happened all those years ago, he didn’t even like to think about it himself.  Roy was one of the few people who understood what he’d been through. It was true that both of them started out as sidekicks, maybe the red in their costumes helped them stand out from their mentor’s shadows.  Their time as young crime fighters had left their scars. They were blindsided when they found someone who had been a heroine since she was 13, and took to it with the same determination they had when they were younger, more innocent, more naïve. 
 As Marinette flitted around the room, gathering her things, every nerve in Jason’s body was screaming at him to stop her.   He reached out and grabbed her by the arm, trying not to think about just how small it felt around his hand.  “Look, I’m sorry,” he began. What could he say to her? That he knew exactly what that felt like? That the last thing they wanted was for her to end up like them?  That every hit they took in a fight was one that she wouldn’t have to, so that she wouldn’t turn out broken like they were?  The problem was she didn’t see them as broken, she saw them treating her like glass.  If she was put through the same ordeal, Jason had no idea what he would do.  If she shattered just like they did, then in a way, they would have failed her.  If she came out still whole, still brimming with light, then what did that say about them?
 Marinette pulled her arm away, “I’ll show you, then you’ll be sorry” she told him bitterly.  With her backpack in hand and shoes on her feet, she pushed past him and walked out the door.  
 Jason remains staring at the open door, regretting how he had treated her. He grew fond of her during their time together as ‘Red Arse Bug’.  She had a cute face, cute voice and she wasn’t afraid to get her hands dirty. “Stupid, stupid” he says to himself, facepalm at each syllable. Even with the now hostile relationship with Marinette, he knew he had to follow her. He had to stop her from making the same mistakes he did, so that she would not become like him. He put on his helmet and left to search for clues as to where Marinette would go and what she would do.
 Marinette wandered through Gotham city, unsure what to do now that she stormed out of the apartment she shared with Jason and Roy. She felt like everyone belittled her, Selena did, and now so did Jason. She needed to do something eye-catching, to prove to everyone that she didn’t need their help.
As she wanders past the Iceberg Lounge, she gets a spark of inspiration. If she could take down the Penguin single-handedly, nobody in Gotham would doubt her ever again. With unyielding determination she calls out “Spots On” and turns to Ladybug, ready to take on one of the cruelest crime lords in all of Gotham. Ladybug walks up to the front door and kicks it down, sending the door flying and knocking any unfortunate goons behind it. Penguin’s gang whipped out their guns, tire irons, pipes and anything that could count as a weapon and were now charging in to stop the intruder. 
 Marinette swings her yo-yo to wrap around one of the goon’s ankles, before swinging him around crashing him into several others. A guard points his rifle behind Ladybug, she spins around, sending her yo-yo towards the gun and pulling it from his hands. As the guards begin to group up together in an attempt to minimise the effectiveness of her yo-yo, Marinette looks up and begins to smirk. She flings her yo-yo upwards and hooks it onto a chandelier. She yanks it down, sending the chandelier crashing onto the unsuspecting guards. 
 Marinette dusts her hands and proceeds to walk through into the main hall. She proceeds to kick down that door too, she is then greeted by The Penguin surrounded by his gang. “I’m taking you down Cobblepot.” She shouts, swinging her yo-yo as if it was a lasso, preparing for a fight.
 The Penguin stands up from the seat of his large chair. “What are all you idiots waiting for?” He shouts all around him. He points his umbrella at Ladybug, and begins shooting his umbrella gun. “Get her!” The penguin roars, at this cue every gangster charges at Ladybug. 
 Marinette gracefully dodges and weaves around Penguin’s army, knocking each one out one by one. Until only The Penguin remains, she wraps her yo-yo around his umbrella, easily disarming one of Gotham’s most wanted. She walks towards The Penguin, slowly unravelling her yo-yo in anticipation of tying him up and sending him to Arkham Asylum. 
 The Penguin takes out a little remote control from his suit pocket, “It's not over yet.” he snarls and pushes a button. At that moment the entire building shakes.
“Born on a Monday” a voice groaned, followed by another loud thud. “Christened on a Tuesday.” the same voice groaned. Then a giant hand shoots up from beneath the floor, “SOLOMON GRUNDY” roared the giant as it emerged from the floor. 
 Red Hood and Arsenal had been watching the fight from a careful distance outside the Iceberg Lounge.  “Well, she’s managed to take on Penguins goons just fine,” Arsenal observed through the small pair of binoculars,  “she’s certainly had plenty of time to get very creative with that yo-yo”.
Red Hood’s hand was still itching to reach for one of his pistols, ready to jump in at the first sign of trouble. “By the way, how was your shawarma?” he asked sarcastically.
Arsenal looked over at him, raising an eyebrow “Hey, I’m not the one who said the one thing that just made her angrier, you were on your own there.”
“Nice to know you had my back.” he grumbled.
“Oh I do in a fight, you just decided to be an ass and poke the angry girl with a stick.” Arsenal pointed out.
Their banter was interrupted by an earth shattering thud, following a loud groan “Born on a Monday.” At that moment their blood ran cold. Red Hood and Arsenal rushed towards the Iceberg Lounge. Both worried for Ladybug and aware of what comes after that dreadful nursery rhyme. 
 “What are you two doing here? I can handle this.” growled Ladybug as Red Hood and Arsenal arrived. 
 Before either Red Hood or Arsenal could answer, they were interrupted by Solomon Grundy smashing the ground where Ladybug was standing. Ladybug gracefully dodged the punch, grappling onto a ceiling lamp to swing towards Grundy with a kick. 
 The giant grabbed Ladybug while she was mid-air and threw her towards her partners. Red Hood catches her, holding her tightly as the two fly across the room. He shields her from the shock, taking the brunt of the impact as they crash into the wall. 
 Red Hood groans “You okay?” Ladybug looks up to see she was relatively unharmed, but Red Hood had taken the brunt of the throw. Concern visible on her face as she sees Red Hood’s damaged helmet, and the bruised and bloodied face beneath.  
 Their quiet moment together was interrupted by Arsenal's cries for help. Every arrow he had in his quiver wasn’t making a dent in Solomon Grundy. Ladybug decides to cast Lucky Charm in desperation, and swings her yo-yo up. The ladybugs converge to form...a polka-dotted stick of dynamite. 
 “Arsenal!” She called. “Tie this to the end of an arrow, Red Hood and I will keep it busy.” She tosses the dynamite to Arsenal and tells Red Hood to tie Grundy down.
 Ladybug using her yo-yo grabs on to Solomon Grundy’s left arm while Red Hood uses his grappling hook to hold on to his right arm. Leaving Grundy exposed and immobile, giving Arsenal the opportunity for a clear unobstructed target. 
 Arsenal draws and aims the special Lucky Charm Explosive Arrow. The giant zombie growls “Arrow Boy no hurt Grundy.” 
 “Arrow Boy yes hurt Grundy” quipped Arsenal, before releasing the arrow causing a thunderous explosion into Solomon Grundy’s face. The giant slumps, Ladybug and Red Hood quickly release their hold and watch its body fall back into the hole in which it came from. 
 Solomon Grundy’s body lays motionless in the basement of the Iceberg Lounge as the three peer over the hole in the ground, “Let’s get outta here before the GCPD or worse, Batman arrive” Red Hood points to the front door, and the three of them leave the lounge to head back to their apartment.
As the three arrive home, they each find a nice comfortable spot to collapse onto. Jason claimed the sofa, slumped down Roy in the middle of the living room floor and Marinette sat at the dining table. “I vote for a week off.” groaned Roy.
“I second that motion” agreed Jason. 
“I still have design work to do.” Marinette told them, not really looking at either of them at that moment.  She was torn between appreciating their help, and frustrated that she hadn’t been able to handle the situation herself like she thought.
“Still that was one hell of a fight, and hey, you still managed to take on a squad of goons by yourself.”  Roy said, “I’m so proud” he said dramatically pretending to wipe away a happy tear. 
He nudged Jason in the leg, “um, yeah, good work” he said awkwardly, slightly lost in thought. Marinette smiled slightly, before turning her attention back to her little fairy friend perched on the table. 
“So does this mean Red Arse Bug is back together?” Roy asked enthusiastically, Marinette wasn’t really paying attention. 
The name still needed work, for one thing.  For once Marinette felt like her powers were being used in harmony with their abilities, but she wasn’t sure if it was a feeling that she should get used to.  Marinette could still vividly remember seeing Jason’s bruised and bloodied face beneath his helmet.  Jason stood up and walked over to the fridge, looking for ice to dull the swelling on his face.
“Not with that name,” Jason grumbled, not entirely sure if Marinette was willing to stay after their argument.  Someday, somehow, he would tell her the full story of what happened to him.  Right now, that was a whole Pandora’s Box that he just wasn’t prepared to open.  Nestled at the bottom of that box was hope, a hope that no one else would meet that same fate.
“...Lucky Shot?”  Marinette suggested as she carried Tikki over to the sofa and sat down.  Both Jason and Roy looked up, it made some sense, seeing as they both used projectiles and she had her lucky charms.  Jason tentatively made his way back to the sofa, ice pack in hand.
“Sounds better than ‘Red Arse Bug’.” Jason remarked, as he sat back down. 
“Well, let’s see if our little adventure made the news” Roy said, as he reached for the TV remote.  Jason tuned out Vicki Vale’s voice as she reported on the fight that took place at the Iceberg Lounge. 
As Roy slept at their feet, Jason knew if they were going to continue working together as a team, they couldn’t keep her in the dark any longer.  
“Hey Marinette.” Jason speaks softly. Marinette's ears perk in surprise, hearing speak her name for the first time. “I’m sorry, for what I said and how we treated you. You’re right.” He gestures to the sleeping Roy on the floor, “Both of us started out as sidekicks, we both grew up in the shadows of Batman and Green Arrow. Both old men with impossibly high standards, everything we did was never enough.”   Marinette listened intently as she shuffled closer to him on the sofa.  “We’ve both been to hell and back, Marinette. Literally in my case.” he explained, Marinette glanced down at Tikki for a moment, as if silently asking if her magic was somehow involved in this.  “But always remember, we have each other’s backs, just like The Three Musketeers.” Jason told her, Marinette giggles at his literary reference.
“Roy’s Porthos, you’re Aramis, I guess that makes me D’Artagnan.” Marinette chimes. Jason loved to see that hopeful smile on her face.  What scared him the most was the idea that something or someone would try and take that away from her.  They couldn’t keep treating her like glass, and they couldn’t keep treating her like a sidekick if they wanted to keep her from making their mistakes.  They were all going to fight like hell to make sure this world didn’t break her the way it broke them.  Marinette leaned in close and rested her head on his shoulder.  He felt her calm even breathing, fanning his neck as she slept peacefully at his side.
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dameronology · 3 years
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one hell of a mandalorian {din djarin}
summary: actions speak louder than words - which is good for din djarin, because he's not very good at words. (this was a commission for an anon! i hope you enjoy).
warnings: language
enjoy!! if you're interested in commissions, you can find out more here :)
- jazz xx
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Din Djarin was a man of few words.
That had become clear not long after you'd met.
It wasn't that he didn't like talking, or that he was rude - he'd just never had the need for it. The Mandalorian could spend days and days in hyperspace, on his own with nothing but a frozen bounty to keep him company. And they were hardly chatty, even before they were thrown away into the trawling depths of carbonite animation. There were a few select geniuses who tried to make conversation with him in a last-ditch attempt to appeal to his humanity and beg for mercy, but so far, they'd had a zero-for-zero success rate. It wasn't that he didn't have any humanity to appeal to it - because he did, and his weird, green surrogate kid was an absolute testament to that - but it just took a little bit for it to come out.
The beskar made him seem a little...robotic. Like a droid, which was ironic, because he wouldn't have gone near the things with a ten-foot-barge pole. Din had just become so used to people seeing his mask and his intimidating posture before him that having human traits, like feelings and thoughts and opinions, had never been any use. Having defining traits and a personality was all well and good, but nothing helped you through the galaxy quite like the ability to put the fear of God in people.
The Mandalorian was something, but Din Djarin was somebody. He was good; not necessarily pure and golden-hearted like a typical comic book hero, but he had a strong moral compass. Sometimes, it pointed in opposite directions, but he helped those who needed it and he paid his dues. That was probably a lot more than anyone in the galaxy could have said for themselves. In the fight of good and bad, in a world that existed entirely and black and white, there was nothing more grey than an honest man. Somebody who refused to pick a side held the power of both. For that, Din could have either been extremely smart, or extremely dumb.
Sometimes, he was extremely dumb. Made the wrong moves in combat, or got too cocky, however out of character it was for him. It was the losing fights that truly brought out the human side of Din, and it took a very, very specific eye to see it, sometimes to the point where even he missed it. It never went over your head, though.
You'd joined the crew on the Razor Crest as a mechanic - then you became a baby sitter, and his partner-in-crime, and the closest thing he'd ever had to a friend. His non-verbal nature meant that most of his emotional cues came in the physical form. It went over the heads of everybody else, but between your intuition, and the time spent in such a cramped space, it quickly became like a second language to you. Helmet tilts when he was confused, and little nods when he was pleased; tensed shoulders when the Mandalorian was nervous and balled fists when he was about to absolutely lose his shit.
Today was one of those days. Even though you were both in one piece and the baby was - by some absolute fucking miracle - asleep, it almost hadn't been that way. Nevarro had been quieter than usual, and Din had let his guard down; finally convinced himself to relax a tiny bit and ever-so-slightly loosen the stick that was firmly up his backside. His sudden lack of awareness for your surroundings had meant that someone managed to track the Crest, however briefly. The kid had barely noticed, and you weren't phased by what had been a simple, human mistake. Din, true to nature, was already beating himself up for it.
That was evidenced by his heavy footsteps, and the way he'd immediately retreated to the cockpit and slammed the door. Common sense would have entailed that he wanted to be left alone, but you'd long surpassed the point of any of that. Common sense didn't exist in a galaxy like this one. Doing the obvious thing was, nine times out of ten, usually the wrong way. Expecting the unexpected was the right way to go.
You'd paced outside the door for the better part of fifteen minutes - to go in, or to not go in, that was the question. You were torn between wanting to give Din space and wanting to be there for him; a cranky Din was often an unbearable one, but you cared deeply for him. Maybe a little too much, but that was a can of worms to open later.
"Din?" You gently called. Nothing. "I know you're brooding, or whatever it is you do under that helmet, but talking is good."
"I'm fine."
You sighed. "The scale goes great, good, bad, awful, world-ending and then fine."
"I've never heard that before in my life."
"Yeah, I just made it up on the spot." You murmured.
Resting your hand against the doorknob, you pondered for a moment. Did you want to risk it by going in? Making him mad when he was literally shutting you out? It was hard to know what to do with Din - it wasn't like he came with an answer key, or even a vague manual that could point you in the right direction. It was all just guess work.
"Is the helmet on?" You softly asked.
"Yeah."
You took that as a sign - with a deep breath, you gently opened the door and stepped inside the cockpit, shutting it quietly behind you. The tense atmosphere inside was almost enough to swallow you whole. The man practically radiated angst.
"Talk to me." You took a seat beside him.
"There's nothing to say."
"Bullshit." You murmured. "You might have a thousand inches of beskar hiding your face but your body language is a dead giveaway."
"I'm meant to protect you and the kid." He replied. It wasn't much, but it was better than silence. "It's my job to catch bad people and outrun them when I need."
"You did outrun them." You reminded him. "I'm safe. You're safe. The kid is safe. Does anything else matter?"
"It shouldn't have happened in the first place." Din said. "I was relaxed-"
"- you allowed to relax." You cut him off. "Despite your best efforts, you're a human being."
Reaching out, you gently placed your hand over Din's ungloved palm. He didn't resist or try to brush you away. His hands were soft and callous in equal measures, which felt like a fitting metaphor for him on the whole. You tangled your fingers in his and held on tightly, perhaps in a sad attempt to remind him that you were there.
But Din knew you were there - he could feel it constantly, and he thought about it just as much. Every day of his life prior to you had been filled with rigidity and angst, then you'd come waltzing in and for the first time in years, he'd untensed his muscles and stopped looking over his shoulder. Learnt to take a breath and enjoy the simple things in life, like Grogu laughing or you accidentally tripping over a tree branch. You'd become so important to him that the prospect of losing you was too much for him to even fathom. He'd come close today - too close - and it had been an eye-opener. The irony was that telling you why he was so fucking scared was more frightening than the entire thing itself.
"Don't be so hard on yourself." The gentle pull of your voice lulled him back to reality. "Please?"
His grip on your hand tightened. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay." You breathily smiled. "You don't have to apologise."
"I never thought I'd have someone like you." Din admitted. "Coming so close to losing you was terrifying, even if it wasn't that close at all."
He'd never been so open about his feeling towards you before. Obviously, you knew that he viewed you in a way he didn't see anybody else, but that knowledge had been based entirely on physical cues and mere guesswork. You'd never expected him to vocalise the way he felt, or even acknowledge them. It wasn't necessarily a bad thing, or even something you considered to be detrimental. The words came as a nice surprise.
"You mean a lot to me, Din." You said. He'd always loved the way his name sounded when you said it; nobody had used it for years, not since he'd lost his parents. It was something to vulnerable and personal. You were the only one he trusted with it.
"I do?"
You didn't mean to laugh at that - you really didn't, but it just came out. A low snort of disbelief; shock at his absolute inability to read the fucking room. Din was as intuitive as they came, with the ability to read criminals like a bedtime story he'd been rehearsing since he was a kid. Then it came to you, and he knew nothing. Absolutely nothing. To call him clueless would be the understatement of the century.
"Maker." You murmured. "Of course you do - more than anyone or anything."
"You're special to me." Din replied. "It scares me sometimes."
Din was straight forward with everything he said - it was just finding the courage to say it. He'd gone into battle with Imps and Republic Rangers alike; fought krayt dragons and droids and fellow Mandalorians and yet this entire thing shook him to his very core more than anything else.
You didn't know it, but you were perfectly holding his gaze. Staring right through it and looking right into his soul. He forgot he had one sometimes. It was probably a little dusty and covered in cobwebs, but it was there, and you were bringing it right out of him and back to reality.
Din used his grip on your hands to pull you a little closer - a moment later, he gently pressed the cold metal of his helmet to his forehead. It was the closest you'd ever been to him, even if it wasn't that close at all. You could hear his soft breathing through the modulator, the sensation acting as a stunning reminder that there was a person underneath there. There were times when you forgot, or felt a little disconnected from the idea entirely. You'd never felt the need to see his face, though - you hadn't a clue what he might look like, but at the same time, you had an image of him in your head. It was as clear as day; as bright as the suns on Tatooine and as persevering as the kid's insistence that he receive all your attention, all the time.
You knew what the action was; a Keldabe kiss. The Mandalorian had recounted its meaning to you not long after you'd met - he'd finally let his barriers down and let you plague him with questions about his culture and the creed, and you'd stumbled on the subject. Initially, you'd been entertained by the fact that it two such vastly different meanings. On one hand, it could be a headbutt. A beskar punch to knock the daylights out of anyone who particularly annoyed you. On the other hand, it was almost a romantic gesture; a way that Mandalorians could show their affection to one another without having to remove their armour.
Din had the latter meaning in mind, but also so much more. He was giving you a piece of his culture - including you in the very thing that defined him as a person.
"It won't happen again." The Mandalorian gently said. "I'll never let you get hurt again. I promise."
"I know." You softly smiled. Your eyes closed, enjoying the feeling of the cool metal against your forehead. "For what it's worth, I have your back too."
He softly chuckled. "Thank you."
You gently pulled back, eyes meeting again (not that you could tell).
"Seriously!" You said. "I can be a bad-ass."
"You can be a lot of things." Din replied. "You're one hell of a girl."
"And you're one hell of a Mandalorian."
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woniepop · 4 years
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girly girls
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Pairing: Kang Taehyun x Fem!Reader
Word Count: 2.3K
Warnings: bullying, cursing
Genre: slice of life; fluff; angst
Summary: Three times a popular girl and a nerd were enemies, and one time where they weren’t
a/n: this fic was inspired by my all time favorite movie, Legally Blonde. I enjoyed writing this fic and I really hope you enjoy reading it :)
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Y/N L/N has never been someone who liked to be cast in the shadows. Always being the center of attention, y/n has become one of the, if not the most, popular girls in her town. Homegirl is always dressed like an icon even when doing mundane tasks. Girls like her have never really been into anything “nerdy.” She associates herself with more of the bimbo kind, if you will. It was never really a secret, but she studies incredibly hard to get the chance to go to her dream school and become a great computer scientist. Being in such a large friend group of female fashion icons, there was never really anyone who wanted to talk about topics with math or computer science. 
Kang Taehyun, however, is this awkward and incredibly smart boy. Never really associated with popularity, he’s only had about four friends in his life and absolutely no dating experience. He’d always been one to shy away from attention. At most times, he found himself quietly observing others. All this, and he’s still what you would consider the teacher’s pet. He gets all his assignments done, A’s on every test, and raises his hand for every question. As a computer science enthusiast, he has worked his butt off his entire life, filling his schedule with robotics clubs, different languages of code, and coding camps. Senior year was his year. He had finally got into his dream school, TXT Tech, and had already created a very very detailed plan for the future.
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Currently, Y/n’s mother was constantly trying to persuade her about fashion school. Having an incredibly fashionable mom wasn’t always the best for situations like these. TXT Tech results were coming out, and even though Y/n was confident she was getting in, there’s still the chance she might have not. Nervously waiting in front of her laptop, she sits impatiently refreshing the page for her results. Within one sentence she hops up from her chair in awe. Obviously attending the school was going to be a big turning point for her, and she was so excited to have been admitted to TXT Tech. 
As Y/n got settled on campus, she finds no one else that looks like her. Obviously, because she stands out, all attention is drawn to her. She’s confident, stylish, and hot. In a sea of gray and tan business outfits, Y/n wears a nice pink pantsuit. She’s relishing in all the attention, not seeming to mind that it’s not good, because she knew she looked good. 
Her first encounter with Taehyun couldn’t have gone worse. Walking to her class, pink drink in hand, she struts confidently to the lecture hall for her computer engineering class. Not paying attention to where she was going, she bumps into a tall figure. This clearly wasn’t the best way you could go about your first day, but all Y/n could do was apologize. 
“I’m so sorry, sir. I didn’t see where I was going and-” she rambled. Pausing in the middle of looking up, a very handsome and slightly awkward boy stands there, obviously pissed off and very annoyed. He scoffs and continues on his way to his next class.
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Her second encounter with Taehyun was not great either. Clicking her high heels against the floor, she walks to her first class of the day. She had to get there early, she always had to sit in the front of the class. Taehyun on the other hand, nose buried deep in his book, walks directly to the middle. Despite loving programming, he could only handle so much attention. The class had started off well for Y/n, reviewing the class syllabus of “Principles of Programming Languages.” Taehyun, however, was pissed. He had not been called on once and was so frustrated. 
“Y/n, can you tell me the five most commonly used languages of code?” the professor asks smugly. Y/n knew what he was doing. She was being set up. She knew he thought she didn’t know and that lit a fire in her. 
“Python, Java, Javascript, C#, and C” she answers confidently. Hearing this, the professor nods his head. He wasn’t expecting that. 
Taehyun saw this as a perfect opportunity. His hand shoots up and he comments, “Sir, that’s actually incorrect. C++ is actually more popular because although C  has served as the foundation for writing languages like Python and Ruby, C++ is a newer language of code and therefore is compatible with more technology.” Taehyun confidently looks down to wear Y/n sits and smirks. Of course she wouldn’t know that. She’s only the popular rich girl that got in with Daddy’s money. She didn’t actually know anything, right?
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It had been a few months since school had started, and finals were just about to come around. For this class’ final, they had to submit a partner project and code a simple game. At this point, it had been very blatantly established that Y/n and Taehyun were enemies. They despised each other. Always competing with each other in class, snickering when the other person got annoyed. It was a silent war between the two of them and everyone could feel the tension in the air. Obviously, it was no surprise they always came up at the top of the class, interchanging the first spot every test. What was surprising, however, was seeing their names together on the partner project roster. 
Taehyun was furious. College was supposed to be his bitch, but now he’s acting like Y/n’s bitch. He was so pissed off. Computer science was supposed to be where he had the upper hand. The one place he could feel himself. Where he was finally better than the stupid popular kids. And yet, he’s here, competing with one of them. It wasn’t fair. She was a girly girl, she wore bright colors everyday, she even had a sparkly notebook. How was she so smart? There was no way, it’s just the laws of the universe. You had to choose between looks and intelligence. That’s just what the gods above said. There’s no take backsies. 
It’s no secret that Y/n is a fashionable girl and having a female centric hobby isn’t really something applauded at this university. Knowing of Y/n’s insecurities, let’s talk about Taehyun’s. Having always worn non adventurous, boring, clothing, he’s known from the very beginning that Y/n’s beauty has helped her in life. Life is never fair, and it shows. Taehyun never ever got those advantages, and now here he is competing with someone just as smart as him. 
 As his jealousy grows in the back of his mind, he decides to use this time to take revenge. The next few days are spent typing away in the library, collaborating and researching for hours upon hours. Knowing that this project was worth 40% of their grade, they spent all their time trying to make this game perfect. 
The day of the presentation of their near perfect game rolls around and Y/n was confident. She had spent countless nights coding this with Taehyun and on her own. Starting the presentation off, Taehyun pulls up a game completely different to the one Y/n coded with him. “In this day and age, gaming has become a hobby more popular than it’s ever been. With platforms like twitch and youtube, all different types of games can catch the eyes of a wide audience. With this in mind, I’d like to present to you Jackbox Party Pack 8. Roleplay games have become the genre of choice for many gamers to play, and viewers to watch.” 
This was not the first person shooter Y/n had coded with him. What was he doing? Y/n stood there, not really knowing what to say. Opening and closing her mouth, she couldn’t form any words. She should have known this was a set up. “Ms. L/n, please continue.” The professor says. She couldn’t. She felt like she was frozen. She was so embarrassed and she should’ve seen it coming. With cheeks welling up in her eyes, she runs out of the classroom. 
With a smirk, Taehyun continued on, explaining how the game worked and how he had coded it. He had spent the past few nights coding it by himself and he was incredibly proud. Paying no mind to Y/n, he stood tall and smiled throughout his entire presentation. Obviously, like any normal person, guilt started growing quickly in the back of his mind. He finally realized he had fucked up. 
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Running after Y/n, Taehyun felt incredibly guilty. He had taken the competition too far, and now he’d made someone innocent fail a required class. After running for what felt like hours, he found Y/n crying under a tree. He knelt down and offered her some tissues. Aggravated, she smacks the tissues away and tells him to leave.
Y/n, on the other hand, felt so angry. How could he do this to her? She hadn’t done anything wrong, and if he didn’t like the way she dressed or the way she conducted herself that was fine. All she needed was her to believe in herself and that got her into TXT Tech. While thinking about all the ways she could end Taehyun, she feels arms wrap around her. They’re 🤮Taehyun’s. Before she can rip his arms off, he speaks up. 
“Look Y/n, I’m really sorry about that whole thing I pulled back there. I’ll talk to the professor and give him the real project. I really took it too far and I’ll do anything to make it up to you.” He begs. 
“Um,, no? I don’t care? That was literally so embarrassing. If you really wanted to make it up to me you’d leave me alone.” Y/n pushes him off her harshly and storms off. How dare he? It probably took his two seconds to come up with that half assed apology. This was unbelievable. 
Y/n started trudging through the grass back to her dorm. All she wanted to do was take a warm shower and cry in her bed. She hated everyone. She wanted him to suffer just as much as she did, but she couldn’t do that. 
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After two whole days of sobbing in her bed, she decided she was craving her signature pink drink. She really didn’t feel like going out, but delivering one drink would cost like $15. Y/n throws on a casual pink outfit. It’s very different from what she wore at the beginning of the school year, but the one thing that never changed was the color pink. Even in her depressive mood, she still wanted to dress up. She felt most comfortable wearing stylish clothing, that was her home. 
Stepping into the store, she sees Taehyun sitting at a table alone. You know when you see old people sitting along and you feel so bad for them you start tearing up? Like what if they lost their spouse or something :(((((. So anyway, Taehyun gives her lonely old people energy and regardless of what he did to her, she decides to keep him company. 
“Hey, um, can i sit here?” Y/n asks. Taehyun was so surprised. She wanted to sit with him? But he was so mean to her? He nodded his head and sat quietly. The past two days she could tell Taehyun had done a lot of thinking. She could tell he did it because he felt threatened. That wasn’t enough to forgive him, but at least she was being nice about it. 
Taehyun gets up and leaves. He comes back with a pink drink in hand, maybe as an apology. “I really want to apologize to you again, Y/n. Yesterday I don’t know if you saw, but the professor graded the actual project instead, and I had told him everything and that I’d deserve it if he failed me instead.” Y/n wanted to be happy but she wasn’t. She didn’t want him to fail after helping her code the game with her. Maybe she was so nice to him because she had matured, or maybe because she felt something different in Taehyun. Even so, a little embarrassment, she thought, wasn’t enough to cause a person to fail their whole class. Holding his hand on the table, she nods, a silent way she decided to forgive him. 
“Well, at least we’re not the worst team. I think group 7 coded a Niki Minaj roblox world.” Taehyun jokes. 
She laughs. “That’s so funny, what the heck? I guess we just have some hardcore barbs in this class.” People like Taehyun and people like Y/n were never meant to be friends in the first place, but maybe now they were starting to. Y/n, who was always challenging the term “girly girl.” Who always stressed that you have to believe in yourself when the rest of the world is against you. Y/n who became successful, without changing who she was. Y/n, who was feminine and wanted to show that was never a weakness. And Taehyun, who was always unadventurous. Who was never into fashion but still managed to pull off his nerdy outfits with his cute face. The passionate Taehyun whose only hobby seemed like studying. Gossiping for hours at the cafe, they realized this. They were starting to become friends. No one ever expected them to even be able to hold a friendly conversation, but here Y/n was, challenging everyone again. 
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disgruntledspacedad · 4 years
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in defense of Din’s subdued reaction to losing the kid...
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gif by @quantam-widow
I know we were all thinking it. We got a 2 second reaction shot to the destruction of the Razor Crest (may she forever rest in peace), but then, Grogu gets taken, and... nothing?
What the fuck, Din? we all protest. That’s your baby on that ship! Don’t you care? Scream, curse, kick a rock, cry, make a fist, something!!
I will acknowledge that so far, the show has been excellent with giving us emotional payoff, am I right? I mean, just today we got Din laughing, twice. Twice in a row. I honestly never thought we’d see that. There have been so many excellent, precious soft!Din moments this season, and they all feel deliciously earned.
So, from a meta POV, I guess I’m saying that I have faith in the writers to get it right, and in Pedro to deliver. Duh.
In universe, though, I think it’s fair to point out the obvious - that Din is a pretty reserved guy. He’s much more of a thinker than a feeler. He’s used to keeping things bottled up, and I would even argue that his life often depends on his ability to dissociate from his emotions. Din’s entire journey so far has been about how one little baby yodito shakes his worldview to its very foundations. He’s getting there, but it’s a slow process. 
And also, consider this - we haven’t seen Din alone yet, not since Grogu was taken. For a guy who lives a guarded life literally encased in fucking armor, any display of emotion is going to be carefully protected until he’s in private.
But anyway, Din is detached, rational, a little emotionally constipated, and definitely comfortable in a stressful situation. A true ISTP if you ask me (yeah, I know you didn’t, but whatever). Often, it seems that these cool headed, logical types who have never ruffled a feather over anything in their lives are the least adept at handling genuine fear. In other words, when panic does strike, it strikes them hard. 
And guys, Din was definitely panicking during this episode. 
He’s clearly unsettled from the jump - that outburst of “dank farrik!” in the cockpit sells it, and his distress only becomes more obvious from there. Talking out loud, trying to convince himself that the best thing for Grogu is for him to be trained as a Jedi. Reminding himself of the creed. His overt caution as they approach the seeing stone. His impatience, “Are you seeing anything??”
Then there’s the effects of long term stress. Sure, a bounty hunter in the outer rim doesn’t exactly live an easy life, but Din is definitely used to the drama being on his terms. Compare Din’s body language in the opening scene of season one to when Boba confronts him in chapter fourteen. You can just feel the anxiety, the weariness, the frustration. Din has been on the run for months now, constantly looking over his shoulder, sleeping with one eye open. Notice how he even startles at Fennec’s voice? Season one Din would never have given that much away, regardless of the situation. Long term stress has clearly taken a toll on him.
So we have unsettled, stressed out Din in an emotionally charged situation. He’s exhausted, he’s scared, he’s desperate. This scenario is a recipe for even the most level-headed of adrenaline junkies to loose their cool, and that’s exactly what happens to Din. He panics, and he makes some pretty big fuckups because of it. Leaving Grogu unprotected, twice. Trying three different times to break through that “force field,” even when he knew he couldn’t. Dropping that jetpack and then just forgetting about it (I know we were all screaming about that one, or at least, I was).
So, fear is a positive feedback loop. Those neurotransmitters that do us good in a bad situation - raising heart rate, narrowing focus, shunting blood to the muscles - can also be detrimental if we get too high of a dose - tachypnea and tachycardia, inability to think critically and see the big picture, lack of blood and oxygen to the brain. Epinephrine, in particular, even inhibits the laying down of new memory pathways. In other words, stress leads to poor performance, and poor performance leads to more stress, which leads to... you get the idea.
Then, in the middle of all this chaos, they fucking blast the Razor Crest.
More epinephrine, more cortisol, more stress. 
By the end of it all, Din is a fucking shitstorm of stress hormones and pent up emotions. Notice how he seems to be on autopilot in the immediate aftermath, robotically scanning the ashes of the Crest for anything that might be left intact. Notice how empty his voice is when he says, “the child is gone.” This is a dead man walking. Din has nothing left. His whole life has just gone up in smoke, and he can do nothing about it. 
Guys, Din is holding onto his sanity by a fucking thread in this scene. “The child is gone,” he says, like he’s reminding himself, grounding himself in his shitty reality. He’s stunned. 
And helpless. There’s literally nothing he can do for Grogu. He has no ship, no credits, no resources, nothing to bargain with, nothing to offer. Din literally cannot allow himself the luxury of feelings right now. He’s just got to focus on surviving this very shitty day.
Then, Boba Fett upholds his end of the deal, and suddenly, Din has something to hold onto. An ally, a badass friend, some hope. I don’t think Boba shows Din that chain code in order to verify his claim on the armor - he’s already wearing it, for godssake. I think Boba shows him the code in order to catch Din’s attention - hey friend, I know you’re hurting, but I’m a man of my word. When I make a vow, I keep it. Let’s regroup and go find your kid.
And Din would totally latch onto that. A fighting chance? Din fucking leaps at it. There’s a job to do. A kid to save. All of those stress hormones are going to keep on stewing, because Din has never really come down from his adrenaline high. 
It’s like this in real life, too. There isn’t time to be afraid. There isn’t time to be sad, or second-guess, or say, oh how terrible, or wonder what if it doesn’t work? There’s just you and the job, and if you are the only thing standing between life and death, you will put everything else aside and do what you have to do, for as long as you have to do it.
And that’s where Din is at this moment. He’s running on the fumes of his adrenaline, all tempered focus, all strategy and no bullshit.
Emotional shock, my therapist buddy calls it. Apparently, it’s normal. Expected, even.
But guys, the fallout of this kind of crazy ass adrenaline high is insanely intense. I’m talking collapse to the floor, legs won't hold you, trembling, crying so hard you sling snot, shuddering breaths, stare dead-eyed and spent at the ceiling because you’re just too wiped out to even sleep kind of intense. 
And then, after the breakdown comes the angst. The detailed thinking. The oh god, what if this had happened, or, should I have done that instead? It seems like every emotion that gets put on the back burner in the moment comes back to bite you with twofold intensity when all is said and done. 
In other words, Din is definitely going to feels some things .A lot of very intense things. A reckoning is coming, my dudes. Trust me. It’s just not quite here yet.
That being said, here’s what I can expect from Din going forward:
Just like he’s is slow to acknowledge his growing parental feelings for Grogu, I think Din’s going to be slow at processing his grief at Grogu’s loss. In the next episode, he’s got plenty to distract him - getting together his hit team to take back the kid and coordinating an attack on the empire. 
However, I do think we’ll get a slow moment with Din, probably sometime at the beginning of next week’s episode if the pattern holds. I doubt it’s the full-blown breakdown that we’re all needing, but I’m willing to bet money that we’ll see Din grappling with the fact that his kid is gone. I also think that badass beskar murder machine Din from chapter three will resurface. Stress and desperation make us do irrational things, and anger is one of the stages of grief that Din will inevitably have to work through (I think he’s flickering between denial and bargaining for now).
But then, after Din gets Grogu back? I think that’s we’ll have our big, dearly earned emotional payoff. 
For one thing, Din won’t be able to deny his feelings anymore. He wants to keep this kid, it’s so very obvious. Losing him just forces it all to the forefront. 
And then the relief/joy/regret/guilt that Din is going to feel once he’s got Grogu back? Not to mention the physical exhaustion? All of the fear/terror/angst/grief that he ignored in favor of just going pedal to the metal, guns blazing, get the kid or die trying? That shit’s going to crash into him with all the subtly of a fucking tsunami. I guarantee you, we’re going to get some sort of confession, or adoption vow, or face revel, or other sort of profound softness from Dad!Din in the falling action of this season (At least, I hope we get it at the end this season but I wouldn’t put it past them to kick it into the premier of season three, just for pacing reasons, but then again, I obviously have trust issues).
Personally, I would love to see Din grappling with the long-term fallout of losing Grogu - night terrors, guilt, paranoia, etc. That’s probably the stuff of fanfiction - mandalorians don't have nightmares on screen, surely - but still, some lingering effects Grogu’s kidnapping would be realistic, and I would absolutely live for it.
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twopoppies · 3 years
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hi, Gina! how are you? I thought a lot if I would send anonymously or not but I decided to because I'm too shy. This message is basically a review of literally making love.
I am going to be completely honest with you, Gina, I was very reluctant to read mainly because I don't like robots, I really don't, specially after watching I, Robot. But there is a big but on this and that's why I'm sending you this. The reason I decided to read literraly making love was because of gathered on wings. I first read gathered on wings and I really enjoyed the way you write so I decided to give a chance.
I am always rambling, so I'm sorry if I'm not following a train of thoughts.
As I was reading I stopped seeing Harry as a robot and started to see him as a human, as the creation of Frankenstein -> I mean, someone who was created the way the creator wanted - so with the specific colors in the eyes or the size of the hand etc - but at the same time they were not created to be perfect; and even if is not a real person, it doesn't mean is a monster, he still has emotions, he still has a world to discover, he still has a lot of things to do and learn. So I started to like the fic I think mainly because you started to describe who was Harry, like his soft skin, his lips, his warmth, how he reacted when he felt jealous and I just stopped seeing him as piece of metal and really started to seem him as a creation of Frankenstein.
What I really enjoyed in the whole fic was to see the maturity been grown up in both, not only in Harry because he doesn't know anything but in Louis as well. I could see a lot of what I am learning in college (psychology) and what my therapist say to me in sections. Example: harry had to googled a lot to learn abour things but he had to learn as well that there is a difference between having information and what you do with that, how do you use in your life, with whom and when. And when I had this thought it just clicked in my head something my therapist said to me last week -> There is idealizantion and there is reality. And I kinda saw this in louis' point of view, like he was imagining what it would happen and it turned out totally different.
I really enjoyed to see the whole narrative being really close to what is in real life, specially some speeches coming from Louis like you need to respect privacy, you need to talk, you just cant act the way you want because you live in a fucking society and you're with someone/something that has feelings, has a life, has they own problems, you just can't live like you own the world. So thank you for emphasizing this part, I think is really important. You wrote your fics in a way that readers can catch some parts and try to do a connection to the real world and their own lifes. I think it's fantastic.
At the end I had I tought that I thought I would never have, specifically coming from someone who doesn't like robots. Maybe louis could do himself just like he did Harry, he could maybe do an android that looks exactly like him and maybe when he died his brain could be put on the android and all his memories will be safe and both of them will live forever. But at the same time I was thinking about it, I started to think that some cycles need an end, that nothing will last forever, everything has phases. I dont know, I'm in limbo. Do you think doing a part 2?
In my head I have a lot more to say, a lot more that I have analysed but I just can't put in words. To finish I just wanted to say thank you for this fic! I had a prejudgment and today I think totally different. And what it gave a spicy in the fic was your drawing! They are beautiful! you totally nailed it! Congratulations on everything!
have a nice night/day Gina!
Oh my goodness. This is such a thoughtful and thought-provoking message. Thank you so, so much for taking the time to message me. I’m so happy that you picked up on so many little things and honestly, I’m really touched that you read it, even though you didn’t expect to like it, and ended up loving it. That truly is the greatest compliment
As for your question about what comes next and a part two, I would love to write more in that ‘verse because I love those characters so much. Right now I don’t think I could do it any justice. But your idea of building a robot Louis is so intriguing. 🤔🤔🤔
The way I imagined the rest of the story is that as Louis grows older, he builds older versions of Harry so they get to experience growing old together; greying hair, achey joints and all. And, at some point, Harry convinces Louis to set his system up so that when Louis ultimately passes away (after they’ve lived a very long and happy life together, thank you), Harry simply powers down for good, and neither one has to live without the other.
I’d love to write it, I just need to figure out a story that’s worth reading. But bless you for being intrigued. It means a lot. And I’m so glad you liked my art, as well!! 🥰🥰🥰🥰
Literally Making Love (E, 30K)
Holding up one of the android's eyes to the workshop’s windows, he smiled as the light picked up the gold flecks in the pale green of his irises. Louis had always paid attention to even the tiniest details.
--
All Louis intended to do was rescue someone in need from loneliness. He had no idea it would be himself.
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joaquinwhorres · 3 years
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Give Thanks (Bucky Barnes x OC)
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SUMMARY ››››› Bucky Barnes has a list of names--amends he needs to make. When he gets to M. & L. Kaminski, he finds the amends process a bit more...difficult than it should be. 
WORD COUNT ››››› 1,700-ish
WARNINGS ››››› language
A/N ››››› Oh hey, look at me jumping on that Falcon and the Winter Soldier trend. 
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Bucky stood outside of the door, staring at the wreath of brightly colored fabric leaves, a small wooden sign hanging in the center with the words Give Thanks looping across it. 
He doubted there was going to be much thankfulness for him on the other side of the door. 
He shifted his weight from one foot to the other.
This was supposed to be getting easier. Dr. Raynor told him it would get easier. 
But for someone who hated bullshit so much, she really spent far too much time talking out of her ass. Because this wasn't easy. 
Easy would be surreptitiously wiring a million dollars into each of their bank accounts from the HYDRA accounts he still had access to.
Easy would be taking out anyone who had been involved in the decision to give him the order. 
Easy would be breaking the damn rules. 
The rules aren't meant to make your life easy, James. They're meant to disconnect you from the Winter Soldier. That's the whole point of making amends, isn't it? 
He'd give anything to get her damn voice out of his head. 
Bucky propelled himself up the front porch steps before he could change his mind. Like he had last yesterday. 
He rapped on the front door, accidentally knocking the wreath sideways as he went to pull his hand away. Instinctively, he reached out to right it, centering the sign and taking his hands away slowly to avoid a repeat of the situation. Bucky checked over his shoulder, half expecting Sam's stupid little robot to Zoom into view with Sam cackling and making some dumb quip about metal butterfingers. But Redwing wasn't there. The only other person outside was an old man mowing his lawn in a dingy white undershirt and grey sweatshorts. Bucky's lip curled in disgust before turning back to the door--the sound of locks clicking out of place putting him on alert. 
"Hello?" 
Bucky blinked, his eyes meeting those of the woman before him. Her eyes were striking, pinning him to the spot and pushing all semblance of thought out of his head. They were a light brown--taupe almost, standing out brightly in contrast to her long, full eyelashes. 
"Can I help you?"
Bucky blinked, nodding at her. Right. He was here for a reason. Not to stand like some teenage boy who'd just seen the girl next door for the first time. 
"I'm looking for Mina Kaminski."
"You found her." 
He blanched. "You're Mina Kaminski?" 
The look of vague curiosity that had been gracing features markedly shifted into a look of annoyance. "Believe it or not, people who look like me aren't all named Singh or Patel" 
Fuck this. He needed to get out of here. There was no way he could have this conversation now. 
"Still want to talk to me?" She asked, eyebrows arched and arms folded across her chest. 
No. 
Sam's laughter echoed in his head, as if he'd been here to witness the exchange. And that's why he stayed. Out of spite. 
He nodded. "My name is James "Bucky" Barnes and--"
"Wait a second," she held out a hand and raised an eyebrow on him. He did as she asked, stopping mid-sentence with a sinking feeling in his gut. "Bucky Barnes as in Captain America and Bucky Barnes?"
He nodded, resigned to the fact that this was going to be his worst attempt at amends yet. "Yeah." 
"Well," she breathed, dropping her arms. "If I'd known I was meeting an Avenger at my door, I might have put on some pants." 
His eyes ran down from her face, noticing for the first time that she wore a dressing robe that barely swept the tops of her knees. Her bare knees.
His mouth opened as if he had even the faintest clue how to respond to this and then his jaw moved up and down for a new second as if the motion of talking would bring words. While it didn't muster an apology or some other decent thing to say, he did manage to utter a single word: "Shit."
She snorted at the reaction before smiling for the first time and shaking out her long dark hair, waves tousled together from having probably just woken up. "If you want to come in and wait, I'll go get changed."
He shook his head. "I can wait out here."
She was still smiling. Probably because she realized he was far more pathetic up close. "Suit yourself, but there's eggs inside."
"I'm good," he said, forcing himself to give a tight smile that didn't reach his eyes. She nodded, leaving the door open behind her as she disappeared inside the house--as if he'd change his mind.
He should leave right now. Turn around and come back a different day when he could at least function like a mostly human being. Bucky ran a hand through his hair, scratching the back of his head. 
The quick, sharp sound of pattering bare feet broke his stream of thought, as another girl came to the door, standing before him with her hands on her hips. "We were having breakfast, you know," the girl announced, her voice dripping with sass. "Now we have to wait until she's done talking to you. And I'm starving." 
Bucky raised an eyebrow. "Shouldn't you be….not talking to strangers?"
"Shouldn't you be eating breakfast?" she countered.
"It's ten in the morning; I ate already."
"We were supposed to have breakfast an hour ago. But Ravi--"
"Rocio, leave Bucky Barnes alone," Mina's voice called from elsewhere. 
Before he could fully process how odd it was for him to use his name, the little girl's hands dropped from her hips and she stared up at him, mouth agape and eyes comically wide. 
"You're Bucky Barnes?" she asked, her small voice awed. 
He nodded with a deep sigh and another forced smile. 
"What happened to your hair?"
"Got a haircut," he shrugged.
She furrowed her brow at him, her little eyes peering intently at his face. He wasn't sure the last time someone had looked him in the eyes this long. Nobody except Steve had looked him in the eyes since he made it out. The corner of his mouth twitched up. She nodded at him, having composed herself so her little face was serious once more. "I like this better."
"Thanks." He couldn't keep the amusement from his voice. He didn't even really try. 
A thought seemed to hit her, lighting up her whole face with excitement. "Wait right here. Don't move. Promise."  He nodded again and she raised her eyebrows at him, giving him a stern look. 
"I promise," he said, clearly stating each word.
She nodded at him. "Ok. Good." And then she turned and ran into the house, her feet making far more sound than they should for someone of her size.
Mina reappeared shortly thereafter with a faint smile on her lips, dressed in a copper colored sweater and jeans. "Sorry. You're her favorite."
"She's cute." 
What an idiotic thing to say. 
"Wish I could take credit," Mina said, shaking her head. "She's my sister's. I'm just the babysitter on duty."
There were some more sounds of scampering and Rocio was back at the door wearing a long black satin glove, reaching about halfway up her bicep. There were lines streaked across it in gold marker to make it look like it was made of metal plates. 
"I made an arm like yours!" she announced, almost whacking Mina in the stomach as she extended her arm out for him to see. 
He couldn't believe what he was seeing. He'd seen Halloween costumes for sale and shirts with one of the sleeves modeled after his arm, and pictures of guys with an arm wrapped in tinfoil. All of them had been with his old arm--his silver one with the red star. The arm that belonged to Him. An arm made to invoke fear. 
This was the arm of a protector. 
She deserved more of a reaction than a small, breathy, "Wow." 
"Will you sign it?" Her eyes got even bigger if possible, and Mina started to shake her head, bending over to talk to the little girl,  but Bucky stopped her. 
"You got a marker?"
"I'll go find one!" Rocio disappeared again, leaving him and Mina alone on the doorstep. She was closer this time, and he could hear her talking to herself and rustling through different drawers. 
Mina turned her attention from her niece back onto Bucky. "So, why is Bucky Barnes on my doorstep?"
"I uh--when does your sister get home?" he asked, eyes focused in the direction of Rocio's sounds. He swallowed, tearing his eyes away and back up to hers. "I should probably tell both of you...together."
The playful amusement that had been on her face disappeared as she stared at him, as if trying to see inside his head. Like she would want to see what was inside of his head. 
"She'll be here around three." 
He nodded, saved from a response by Rocio's re-appearance, waving a silver sharpie in the air. She offered it to him, and he plucked it out of her hand, taking hold of her toothpick of an arm in one hand and signing his name on the inside of her bicep. Where she could hide the signature if she wanted to.
Bucky handed the marker back to her as Rocio held her arm out, trying to catch sight of his name. 
"Rocio," Mina prodded, gently. 
"Thank you!"  she chirped, before turning and literally skipping back inside. "Ravi--look!"
He liked her.
"That was really kind of you," Mina said, warmly. "I think you just made her year." 
He shrugged. 
"Although, I have a feeling that this is all she's going to talk about for the next week," Mina sighed, shaking her head. "Anyway, Leela will be back around three if you want to come back then and share whatever secret serious news is it that you need to tell us together." Her voice was teasing, and Bucky's mouth lifted into a smirk.
"I'll be back then." 
"Great," she smiled politely. "See you then." 
He nodded, wishing her goodbye before turning down the stairs.
So much for getting easier.
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