#lmfao what the fuck I’m gonna die

[smokestarrules]

you know?

[katiebell]

I have Thoughts about harrow and gideon both seeing their relationship as romantic, actually, but they both think it’s unrequited

for gideon in particular she totally married harrow (“if aught but death part me and thee”, “sure cam, marry a moron then die, I get the urge”) EXCEPT she sees it as a one sided marriage (girl lol) and in this case death joined them rather than parting them….. so harrow’s refusal to eat her soul is a double rejection - she gave harrow her life in the physical and metaphorical sense, and from her pov harrow basically went “fuck u here’s our divorce”

[beyoncecock]

…..,,,,,……………….nice

[lustfulslxt]

hi hi! "local" anon here, and i just had a rlly good idea that ik you will deliver perfectly.

matt "accidently" sends reader a d pick and she's all flustered but just doesn't say anything, until like the next day when they all like go out to dinner and everyone's in their own conversation. she just brings it up like, "so what was that pic you sent last night?" and he knows EXACTLY what she's talking about, but is all like "huh? what?"

but then, later that night, she ends up sending a risky pic of her own and then he just texts her saying to like 'come over immediately' or he's coming over to her house and then yk what!!

again, i love your writing and i know you will NOT disappoint with this!! Love you ! 😘

Take The Risk - Matt Sturniolo

warnings : spicy pics and smuttt

a/n : finally!! am i right?? pls look the other way if this is shit, like actually fr.. lmaoooo

—

“This is actually impossible. I’m gonna die of old age before I finish this thing.” I groan to myself, letting my head fall forward onto the table.

It’s been weeks of me staring at all of these pieces, all the exact same, aside from the shape. I’m determined to complete it. I lift my head up, an irregular piece slowly falling from my forehead.

“Who came up with this shit? Why are they so against me?” I ask no one in particular, seeing as I’m completely alone.

I’m convinced whoever created this was just trying to spite me. I can never back of out a challenge, they had to have known that. It’s been hours since I first sat down to work on it today, I am bored out of my mind, but I still can’t put the pieces down. Just as I’m about to toss my head back and cry from frustration, I realize I only have five pieces left. I jump forward, laying them all out in front of me, studying their pattern and the way they could all fit together. It takes maybe another ten minutes before I finally get it.

The last asymmetrical piece, snaps into place, completing the array of silver configuration. Twenty two days, six hundred fifty four pieces later. There she sits, in all her glory. Silver (Krypt), the hardest jigsaw puzzle to solve. This puzzle has no pictures, instead, it simply consists of hundreds of silver pieces, with a circular center and surrounding pieces making the finished jigsaw a plain rectangle. I put my blood, sweat, and tears into this thing.

“Never back down, never what?!” I exclaim, jumping up from my seated position, only now realizing how bad my posture is from the ache in my back. I reach my hand around, holding my back as I groan, “Fuck.”

Straightening up, I grab my phone and immediately snap a picture of the completed puzzle. I just have to show Matt, he’s going to be thrilled. I send the photo to him on snapchat, then head to my kitchen. I grab a bottle of water and a bag of chips to snack on, then go upstairs to relax in my bedroom. Once I put my show on the TV, I notice a notification from Matt.

Matty B

NO WAY YOU FINISHED IT

Me

I DID

Matty B

only took you a month lmao

Me

BYE

it was hard asf 👹

Matty B

me too

Me

UM EXCUSE ME

Matty B

whattt

myb

Me

🌚 you can’t just say that then b like ‘mY bAd’

Matty B

i didn’t mean it

Me

oh

Matty B

congrats on finishing the puzzle tho

now i don’t have to listen to you complaining about the creator being against you

Me

blocked.

Matty B

LMFAO

bro. i was joke

Me

awesome to hear bro

I roll away from my phone, grabbing my chips to eat while I watch TV. An hour goes by, before I make my way to the bathroom. I wash my face and brush my teeth, then strip into my pajamas to finally go to sleep. Walking back into my room, I grab my phone to check one last time. As I plug my charger into it, I notice a snapchat from Matt. Upon opening it, my jaw drops.

There, on my screen, is a picture of a dick. Matt’s dick; fully erect, veins dancing alongside it, the tip pink with dribbles of precum. His hand sits at the base, unintentionally giving me a visual comparison of the size, and boy, it’s something. I can’t help but lick my lips at the sight, before snapping out of it and realizing my best friend just sent me a picture of his cock.

I’m at a loss for words. I can’t even think properly, far from being able to articulate a response. So, I just lock my phone and lay down. Yet, every time I close my eyes, I see his dick staring back at me, begging to be touched. I can feel the arousal building in me, my walls now clenching around nothing. Tossing and turning, attempting to ignore the growing desire, I deeply sigh. It’s going to be a long night.

-

I look at my phone screen, observing myself in my front camera. I’m currently about to walk into the restaurant where I’m having dinner with Matt, Nick, Chris, Nate, and Madi. I haven’t addressed the picture Matt sent me yesterday, and he hasn’t brought it up either, but it’s still lingering in my mind.

Putting my phone away, I lock my car and strut towards the entrance of the restaurant. Upon entering, a hostess greets me and directs to the table where my friends reside.

“Y/N!” Nate cheers, causing the rest of them to look over at me, smiles appearing on all of their faces.

“Hey guys, sorry I’m a little late.” I apologize, scooting in next to Matt.

“You’re all good, I ordered your drink already.” Matt informs me, “They should be coming around shortly.”

I smile, “Thanks, Matty.”

Within five minutes, we all receive our drinks and order our food. While waiting on our meals, we resume light conversation. However, I cannot stop thinking about the picture Matt sent me. Every time I look at him, I feel my heart beat faster and my breath gets caught in my throat. Are we just going to forget about it? Is that what he expects? I can’t just forget.

As the other four indulge in their own conversations, I notice Matt is silent, so I use this as my chance to confront him about it.

“Matt?” I call out, loud enough for him to hear me, yet quiet enough so the others don’t.

His directs his attention to me, softly humming in response as his eyebrows raise, expectantly.

“Um, about yesterday..” I trail off, attempting to read his body language.

I see him slightly tense up, clearing his throat as he looks at me, feigning confusion, “What?”

I give him a pointed look, “That picture you sent last night.”

He looks around as if trying to rack his brain, his eyebrows furrowing as he shrugs, “What are you talking about?”

I sigh, coming to a realization that I’m going to get nowhere with this. He knows what I’m talking about. I know he knows, I can see it all over him. Two can play at that game.

I clearly my throat and shake my head, “Actually nothing, forget about it.”

For the rest of the evening, we don’t speak on that topic again. We all just enjoy our food and the company of each other.

After dinner, I arrive home and immediately head to the bathroom for a shower. The entire night, my mind has been stuck on Matthew, wishing we talked about it, longing for more. We’ve never been anything other than friends, but he lit something in me, a fire that I can’t seem to put out. Should I call him over it? Should I do what he did to me?

After getting dressed in nothing but a black lingerie set, I sit in front of my bedroom mirror. I do look good, but should I really do this? Just take a picture and send it? I give myself another once over, before deciding to turn around and lean forward, snapping a quick photo.

I don’t know how much time has passed as I sit there, staring at my screen. My fingers hover over the picture, unsure of what to say, or if I should say anything at all. Taking a deep breath, I full send, then quickly put my phone down, suddenly ridden with more anxiety as I anticipate his response.

Hopefully I’m not reading more into this situation than what it is. Surely Matt is just playing hard to get. If he didn’t mean to send the picture, he would’ve just said that, right? I try to convince myself that he’s just being a tease, but the more I think about it, the more the pit in my stomach grows. After what feels like forever, I reach for my phone and my immediately face falls.

Opened 12 minutes ago.

Before I can even think a single thought, knocks on my front door sound throughout the silent atmosphere. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I grab my black silk robe and slip it on while walking towards the door. Peeking through the peephole, I see Matt standing there, looking antsy. I freeze, my hand stuck on the doorknob, unable to complete the motion of turning it. I toss my head back, taking a deep breath, before pulling the door open. His eyes light up once he sees me, his gaze flickering over my figure before he makes his way inside.

Within seconds, his lips are on mine, needy and desperate. Taking a few seconds to get over the initial shock, my lips move against his, my hands looping around his neck as his hands pull me in closer by my waist. Without removing his lips from mine, he kicks the door shut and walks me backwards, towards my couch.

As soon as my legs hit the side, he pulls back and asks, “Is this okay?”

I eagerly nod, “More than okay.”

A small grin pulls to his lips before they’re back on mine, kissing me with so much hunger. His hands grope at every one of my curves, squeezing and kneading my skin. His hands suddenly grab my robe, pulling it down my arms and letting it fall behind me, before he pulls away and takes in my appearance once again. He licks his lips and tugs his bottom lip between his teeth, and I can see the bulge stiffening in his pants.

“Fuck, you’re so fine.” He groans, pulling me back into him.

His hands forcefully grab my face and he slams his lips onto mine once again, pulling our bodies flush together. My hands tread through his hair, tugging as he turns my head to the side and moves his mouth to work down my jaw to my neck. His breath is hot against my skin, his tongue licking and his teeth biting. I can feel my arousal pool in between my legs, and I have to squeeze them together to relieve the tension. His hands travel down to my ass, tightly squeezing and massaging it, only making me more wet as I let out a soft moan.

He pulls away and rests his forehead on mine, “What do you want, baby?”

I lick my lips, letting out a breath, “You. I want you, Matt.”

Instantly, he pulls his shirt off and comes back to me, pressing his lips on mine again. I reach behind my back, unhooking my bra and letting it fall down my arms and onto the floor. His hands immediately make their way to my boobs, and I’m melting in his palms. He grips them tenderly yet firm, pulling more moans from me. He leans forward and takes one of my nipples in his mouth, sucking on it as he pinches the opposite one.

The desire in me grows stronger with every touch he graces me with. He knows what he’s doing, and I’m weak in the knees because of it. Kissing me with so much passion and lust, his fingers slip into the waistband of my bottoms, pulling them down with ease, only breaking the kiss to fully remove them. My hands tug at his pants, wanting him to take those off as well, which he does, along with his boxers. We’re left standing, completely naked, and hungry for one another.

He places a couple of soft kisses against my lips, before quickly spinning me around and bending me over the side of the couch. His hands travel down my back, applying just the right amount of pressure, causing me to clench in anticipation. His fingers dig into the skin of my ass, jiggling it, and gripping it with enough strength to surely leave bruises. One of his hands breaks away from me, only to come right back with extreme speed and force. I yelp, jerking forward at the feeling of his hand colliding with my bare skin, a moan soon following as he rubs the place he smacked.

“Just wanna make you feel good, baby.” He whispers against my ear, his fingers trailing between my legs, running over my core.

I let out a whimper, pushing back against his hand for more, but his other hand places a firm hold on my back, keeping me in place. His fingers run through my folds, becoming slick with my wetness, causing him to let out a groan. His fingertips rub my clit in slow and soft circles, adding more pressure and speed with every second, leaving me quivering with moans.

“Mm, such a good girl.” He praises, sinking two fingers into my entrance, ripping a loud moan from my mouth.

“Just wanna be a good girl for you.” I find myself saying in between the whimpers of pleasure.

His pace increases, his fingers pumping in and out of me while his other hand runs up and down my back. I could feel the orgasm building so quickly, begging for release. His hand moves from my back, and starts tracing circles onto my clit once more, his fingers inside me going even faster. My legs start shaking and I’m now putting all my weight onto the couch, way too weak to stand on my own.

“So wet.” Matt mumbles in delight at the sound of his fingers in my juices, “Bet you taste so good.”

“F-fuck, feels so good.” I moan, shuddering as he increases his speed even more. “Gon-gonna cum.”

“Let go, baby.”

His fast movements and the sound of his raspy voice fuel my orgasm, my climax falling upon me quickly. I clench around his fingers, letting myself go and cum all over his hands. He continues finger fucking me, letting me ride out my high. He removes his hands from me and I look back in time to see him sucking all of my juices off of his fingers. The sight alone had me clenching again, eager for more.

“I knew it.” He moans against his fingers, “Taste like I could eat you forever.”

I stand back up on shaky legs, turning to face him and pulling him into a deep kiss, our tongues intertwining and exploring each other’s mouth. His hand comes up to my throat, gently squeezing it, pulling me closer, before pulling us apart altogether.

“We’re not done yet, my sweet girl.” He smirks against my lips, turning me back around and laying me over the couch once again.

He wraps his hand around his dick, stroking it a few times, then runs it through my folds, causing me to shake from the sensitivity. Without a word, he places one hand on my lower back and slowly slides himself in my entrance.

A high pitched moan falls from my lips as he groans, tossing his head back, “Fuck. Been wanting this forever, baby. Feel better than I’ve ever imagined.”

I pull my bottom lip between my teeth, sliding backwards to take all of him in me. He moans loudly, tightly gripping my hips. He holds me in place as he starts thrusting, digging deeper into me with every pump. His strokes get faster and harder, our skin slapping together as I become a moaning mess. My whole body shakes with every movement of his, my face buried into the sofa, muffling my sounds as he fucks me. My legs tremble as he hits exactly where I need him, and I instantly begin clenching around him.

His hand wraps around my hair in a makeshift ponytail and tugs my head back, “I wanna hear your pretty moans, baby. You like the way I fuck you?”

“Mmm, yes. I love it-” I sound out, breathless from the pleasure. “You fuck me s-so good.”

His thrusts quicken and his grip on my hip tightens. The knot in my stomach continues growing, proving my statement to be true. I’ve never been fucked like this, and I can’t help but think about how I’m so glad I sent him that picture.

“Fuck, baby. You feel so good wrapped around my cock, taking me so well. My good girl.” He moans, his hips sputtering.

The pressure in my stomach becomes too much and it’s hard holding it in, my hands gripping the cushions beneath me. He leans forward, his hands intertwining with mine as his lips trail open mouth kisses up and down my back. I can’t help the moans that keep pouring from my mouth, feeling nothing but pure bliss.

“I can feel you clenching around me.” He whispers in my ear, “Cum on my cock, so I can fill you up, pretty girl.”

With that, I let go. My entire body shakes as pornographic moans fall from my lips, my pussy clenching around him so tightly. His strokes become erratic and his moans and groans are louder than before. He quickens his pace as he chases his high, instantly filling me up with a loud raspy moan emitting from his mouth. He continues thrusting into me, pushing his cum deeper. He leans back, standing up straight as we both catch our breaths. His hands find my back once again, softly massaging it. He pulls out, my legs twitching from the stimulation. His hands move down to my ass, gently squeezing it, before he helps me up.

“How are you feeling?” He asks, turning me to face him, keeping his hands around my waist for support.

“Like we should’ve done that a long time ago.” I grin, still breathless.

“We can always make up for lost time.” He grins, placing his forehead on mine.

I nod as we both laugh before he places a few kisses on my cheeks and lips. His hand grabs mine and he pulls me even more into him, capturing my lips in a deep but loving kiss.

“Let’s take a shower, so I can clean you up.” He suggests.

My face heats up and I nod once more, following him upstairs as he never lets my hand go.

Our friendship just changed entirely and I can’t wait for what’s in store for us, because I know it’s going to be euphoric.

—

a/n : tadaaa!!! ugh i hope this wasn’t shit, it’s been forever :((( lmk what you think! requests are closed bc i have wayyy too many that i need to catch up on, but i’m hoping i can get back into it! love uu <333

[umwillow]

tom marvolo riddle NSFW headcannons💋💋

for my delusional girlies😍

• okay tbh, i feel like he is a hardcore munch… but in a way that he uses it as leverage over you and control. like, you cannot tell me he doesn’t love the fact that he has you moaning and whimpering and arching your back ALL FOR HIM. mans is so possessive.

• now when it comes to receiving oral, this man goes absolutely feral and i’m talking like throat fucking and hands fisted into your hair, praise mixed with degradation that type shit🤭 “good fucking girl, letting me use you like this” the sluttiest look on his face. HE IS SO VOCAL AND I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL. he will groan, moan, shudder, whimper but try to make it sound like he didn’t 😭

• he will die if you beg him to choke you like i just know he’s fantasizing about you bent over a table begging him to use you. he’ll even write in his diary (LMFAO).

• if he wants you, he will make it known, but he will not beg for you. he will make you work for it even though he is the one with the problem.

• this guy believes in skin to skin contact. you best believe he’s gonna be seeking comfort from you after all those years of neglect and isolation once he trusts you. skin to skin with tom after rough activity>>>>

• he is brutal. he won’t let up when teasing, if he has his mind set on making you writhe in pain and pleasure, he will see to it that you do not get get a break until he’s had enough.

• controversial take… but i feel like he wants you on top more than him, he’s always in control in every aspect of his life, bro needs a break once in a while. but believe me he will be setting a brutal pace rutting up into you helping you ride him.

• now, positions. he LOVES doggy. i just know that he loves bringing his hands to your throat from behind and mocking your whimpers with fake empathy. reverse cowgirl is another one that allows him access to your throat easily, and will have one hand choking you and the other grabbing your tits or rubbing your clit🤗 but another thing this man loves is eye contact. the intimacy and the seriousness of the mood he’s in it all depends. so missionary and cowgirl are right behind those.

• he bites, beware. like legit any surface available he’s gonna chomp, nip, and lick over.

• will smack your ass to get you riled up

• he does this thing where in the middle of fucking you, no matter what position, he will always push down on your stomach. he just loves the fact that he can feel himself in your lower stomach, thinks it’s so fucking hot. (it is).

if you guys want more slutty slytherin boys headcannons, you know what to do💅🏻

[2knightt]

hiii I was wondering if u could do smth for the outsiders? Like Darry has a s/o who is the mother figure for the gang and often Johnny n pony call her ma / mom? I js thought it was sooo cute but if not it’s also okay dearrr

darry curtis x motherly!reader

!warnings!

1.fem!reader

2.swearing

3.probably ooc LMFAO

darry would literally love you. oh my god.

you’re caring???? you help take care of the gang??? you help ponyboy with homework???

you might as well rip his heart out of his chest cause it’s already yours!

the gang loves you, probably even more than darry does!

but to darry, that’s impossible.

you’re heaven sent to him. he truly believes you’re a miracle!

when he’s stressed out, you’re right there to help him destress!

giving him a massage, giving him tea, shit maybe even all of the above if you feel like it.

“jeez dare, stop overworking yourself so much! you’re gonna die some day because of it!”

“no i won’t, been doin’ it for so long i’ve gotten used to it.”

“thats even worse!!”

when you cook for him he will GOBBLE it up.

homie can taste the love you put in and he thinks it makes the food taste 100x better.

but even you have stressful days! but, expect darry to treat you like a princess!

he will not let you leave his bed, he is getting everything you want.

water? done. a book? already in your hand. a fucking car? he’s wasting all his money for you!

he will follow you to hell if you ask him nicely.

he just loves you so much.

when he somehow get’s hurt in rumbles he’s so glad you’re there to patch him up.

but he isn’t glad that he gets an earful from you.

“you know i hate these things. why do you out of all people go darry? you’re better than this.”

he just grumbles because he doesn’t even want to answer anything with a black eye that’s slowly forming on his right eye.

the gang is so thankful that you can patch them up too. they sometimes fight over who you’re gonna help next.

“i’m goin’ after darry!”

“SODA! YOU’VE GONE SECOND FOR LIKE 3 TIMES IN A ROW. IT’S MY TURN!!”

“PISS OFF TWO-BIT.”

“actually it’s my turn.”

“shut the hell up steve.”

“AYE!”

ponyboy’s just happy he has a mother figure in his life again. his mom was definitely his favourite parent, so now that he has someone to replicate that, he’s on the moon.

he only calls you mom or ma in private, he’s too embarrassed to say it with others in the room.

BUT, he definitely lets the mom calling slip accidentally infront of the gang.

“mom, do you need help with the dishes?”

“MOM?!”

“WHAT?!?”

pony just looks down in embarrassment until you chuckle and agree to him helping you. then he’s all smiles and sunshine!

darry is so happy to see this you don’t get it.

darry asks for advice from you to get to know ponyboy better since he rambles on and on about whatever he’s most interested in at the time.

“so uh, about ponyboy…”

“oh! he really likes ‘gone with the wind’, i know you don’t have much time to read so, i can just tell you the important stuff!”

he just nods and stares at you as you talk about the characters, the main plot, and the small details ponyboy’s obsessed with.

he’s taking mental notes and thanking you heavily when you’re finished talking!

“thank you, y/n. really. i appreciate all you do for me.”

“awe! of course, babe. anything for you.”

he’s giggling and blushing at the last sentence

he’s so thankful that you’re there to talk some sense into the gang.

sometimes he sits on the sidelines and just watches.

“DALLAS WINSTON. WHAT ON GODS GREEN EARTH WERE YOU THINKING PULLING SOMETHING LIKE THAT?!”

“I’M SORRY! JESUS.”

dallas just throws his hands in the air in defeat, knowing that no matter how much he apologizes you’ll continue to scold him.

but he listens, he doesn’t do whatever he did for awhile.

darry just chuckles at the sight.

his mom used to scold dallas like that, so seeing you do the same brought back good memories for him.

being around you just reminds him of the ‘good old days’ so when he’s around you his mood immediately lifts.

like he could be yelling at ponyboy to raise his grades and you could walk in and darry would go “AND STUDY MO- oh hey babyyy!!☺️☺️”

everyone’s eternally grateful for you.

ESPECIALLY JOHNNY GOOD LORD.

he goes to you for literally everything.

something bad happened to him?? he’s at your front door! something good happened to him??? he’s right beside you telling you about it!

yeah, he calls you mom too.

he doesn’t mean to though! he just looks up to you so much, he’s always seen you has a mother figure but he never thought he’d actually call you mom!

“hey ma, does my hair look tuff!?”

“huh?”

he’s FROZEN in place. he’s so embarrassed, he’s literally overheating.

you just giggle to yourself and say his hair does infact, look extremely tuff.

he walks away smiling with a little hop when he walks.

the gang fights over your attention with darry.

they ain’t got a good life at home, but if you give them the motherly love they’ve been missing? they will kill someone for you.

darry loves and hates this.

he loves that you and the gang get along. he can’t be with someone the gang doesn’t like, but he hates that they like you so much they talk to you 24/7.

he sometimes just snatches you while you’re talking to someone in the curtis house.

like you could be talking to sodapop and he’ll come behind you and grab you by the waist and carry you into his room.

all that while soda chases him down, yelling nonsense.

“DARRY! I WAS TALKING TO HER.”

“that’s crazy…”

overall, darry would definitely look for a mother-like lover.

he needs it fr🙏

author notes;

1.EVERYONE SHUT UP THIS IS MY FIRST REQUEST I CANT

2.when i read dear i lowkey giggled and kicked my feet

3.should i make a taglist??!!???? would literally anyone like to be tagged in my outsiders fics?!!!????

4.i really hope i did this justice LMFAO

5.btw if you’ve DMed me im not ignoring you, im working up the courage to talk to you. im a very nervous person😭😭

may 11th, 2023. 10:18PM.

[rinhaler]

Hey hey luxie!! Here are the rin hcs I wanted to share with u this is the same anon from the other day!

Sfw:

* friends to lovers trope is the only viable option considering his overall…disposition, there’s no other way he’d give you time of day

* Calls you otaku in a hateful way because he loves the way ur face scrunches up

* Has all of your orders at any type of eating establishment stored in his brain so he can surprise you whenever ur feeling down

* POSSESSIVE POSSESSIVE POSSESSIVE

* “What the hell are you doing hanging out with that loser?” “No, I’m coming over and we’re having a movie night.”

* Believe it or not, he blushes easily

* “Rinrin, do I look pretty?” *blush mode activated* “w-what? Yeah! Yeah, really pretty” he precedes to die of embarrassment

* Likes to scare you lmfao especially if you guys are watching a scary movie he’ll say he has to go to the bathroom and when he comes back he sneaks up behind the couch, grabs your shoulders and makes some weird ass noise and starts cackling once you scream and popcorn goes flying everywhere

* Absolute hater

* Will make fun of the music you listen to but then has a whole playlist of ur fav songs

* Simps for you so hard

* This man literally has a key to ur house and brings u coffee almost every morning

* Always wants you at his games and practices and looks for you in the stands

* He’s a little snuggle bunny it’s canon bc I said so

* Great listener but not really good at advice but will never hesitates to be your shoulder to cry on

* Often invites you to do yoga with him

* Loves to brush your hair and have spa days with you

* But know this he’s always gonna win the idgaf war

* Sidenote I feel like he knows how to skateboard and is good at it??? Must be the emo in him

Nsfw:

* Titty boiiiiiiiii

* That’s how the friendship evolved into a romantic relationship

* From starring at ur tits

* He doesn’t even realize he’s doing it or when it started happening

* “You wanna touch ‘em, rin? You’ve been starring at them a lot lately.” “Pshh whatever no I haven’t, you’re delusional!”

* Denial is a river in Egypt and he’s drowning it in, he can’t possibly want you in that way….unless?

* “Are you sure baby?” Consent king, has to make 100% sure you’re ok with it

* And after that first tit grab he’s done for

* Absolute slut for kissing and making out like literally he could cum from having his tongue in your mouth (he did the first time it happened oopsies don’t make fun of the poor baby)

* SLOBBER MONSTER OH MY GOD

* spits in ur mouth, spits on ur pussy, fucking drools allllll over you

* Loves to lick you and be licked

* Super sensitive nipples he’s kinda embarrassed by it but god does it get him bricked up

* Fav positions are missionary (mating press to be specific) and lotus. He wants to be close to you and hold you but still able to watch ur boobies bounce

* really into eye contact he knows how intense his gaze is and loves seeing you get all flustered from it and try to look away

* Grabs you by the cheeks, squishing them together a little and lightly shakes your head back and forth “nuh-uh, look at me me little girl watch me fuck this sloppy cunt”

* He’s got a dirty fuckin mouth (yum)

* “Harder rin, please baby harder!” “Yeah, you like getting your little pussy pounded? god, you’re a fucking nympho, aren’t you?”

* Once again, POSSESSIVE!!!

* “Who does this pussy belong to? It’s my fuckin pussy, only I make you feel this good, nobody else can ever make you feel like this. That’s right, call out for me baby, say my name, tell me who you love��

* Breeding kink due to said possessiveness, he came in you the first time you guys had sex, you are his and there’s no way around it

* Can and will and wants to get you pregnant he doesn’t give a fuck

* Pleasure dom he won’t stop until you’re crying or screaming or giggling from how deliriously cockdrunk you are

* Strength kink this mf just stands up and fucks u mid air, loves showing off

* Moans, groans, whines, grunts, growls, he makes every sound you could possibly think of despite him being a stone cold statue majority of the time, this is not the case during sexy time

* Oh and let me put an emphasis on the whiny part while he’s getting head

* So needy it’s kinda pathetic really but he’s soooo cute

* “Oh shit yes baby, pull it out, please baby please put my dick in that pretty mouth”

* Secretly loves being teased and edged

* Face fucker, both receiving and giving

* He lets you mount his face like a bicycle and absolutely goes to TOWN on ur pussy

* Shakes when he cums like I said he cums inside you and he actually gets pretty emotional that you just let him and trust him that much to do something so intimate with you

* Stamina is fucking insane he can go all night if you want

* But when all is said and done aftercare is really sweet and sensual, he’ll wanna cuddle for a few minutes, just hold you and caress your back and tell you how much he loves you lots of kissing too

* Once he finally gets up he’ll run a bath for the two of you and both of you wash each other off before going to bed

* But he gets out before you so he can put some fresh sheets on the bed

* Rin itoshi is a lover and a sweetheart with is s/o no one can convince otherwise

Anywayyyy ima stop myself there I could literally go on all day abt him it’s bad I’m sick in the head

⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️

possessive rin is so dear to my heart I deff agree with that. like, stupidly possessive. doesn't like it when other guys look at you or breathe your air you're his and no one else's.

I love the idea of him knowing what we like to eat 🥹 I'm such a picky eater. However I also feel like he'd definitely try and get you out of your comfort zone to try new things!! But I think he'd be proud of u for trying even if u don't like what he's picking :P

HIMMMMMMM BEING A SKATEBOARDER EMO BOY IS MAKING ME CRAZY PLS

Omg u think Rin is a tits guy?? Any particular reason why or? Idk I never really thought about what he'd prefer but I kinda agree now that you've said it... (hate it for me I hate my boobs LMFAO).

HIM SHAKING WHEN HE CUMS I'M FUCKING BARKING I'M BARKBARKBARKBARKBARK I CAN'T COPE HELP I NEED HIM IMMEDIATELY

omg these are all so good I could go on so long about them all but I'd end up writing a 50k essay LMAO thank you for sending them though I'm so?? obsessed?? I wanted to post this it's been in my drafts for DAYS I've never had such an in depth ask before so I wasn't sure how to go about answering but u absolutely ate with these.. thank u for sending omgggggg I'm absolutely DROOLING

[prismuffin]

How would the bat boys, Conner and Wally (separately) react to being caught stealing their masc crush's hoodie?

So maybe Reader is gone on a trip or missing, or just went out for the day and forgot his jacket on his way out.

They see the left behide hoodie, and try it on really loving how it your hoodie looks on them. Maybe they end up falling asleep snuggled into it, when watching a moive in the common-room? Or were just going about their day wearing it.

Either way, at some point they get caught red handed, the Reader being flirty with them about the hoodie. Saying how they look good in his hoodie and they should keep it.

The guy crush asks are kinda my faves idk KSBDHSBDJS LMFAO these got king asf sorry?- anyways lol I think that-

Jason would rather die than be caught doing something like this. That’s why he’s being so quiet, putting on the hoodie he found laying over the back of some chair, your hoodie to be exact. Your scent filled his nose as he slid the jacket over his head, inhaling deeply. The original plan was to just try it on, he wouldn’t wear it for long in fear of being caught. But as he sat down on the couch, imagining your arms wrapped around him as he snuggled deeper into the fabric, he wasn’t so sure about taking it off just yet. Eventually he awoke to you shaking him, his brain not even rendering what he was wearing until the words left your mouth, “you look real cute in my hoodie Jason, but it’s cold as balls outside so I’m gonna need that back.” You smirked as his eyes widened. Shooting up here was quick to stutter out an attempt at an explanation though your laughter cut him off. You said he could keep the hoodie on since he likes wearing it so much and you’ll just go find another. It didn’t even render to him that you’d previously called him cute until you left.

Dick would probably not even be trying to find your hoodie, you left in quite a rush, saying a quick goodbye as you passed him. He just wandered to the common room where he saw your hoodie laid out. It was practically calling him, and he knew you wouldn’t be back for a while so he just threw it on. His hearts racing as the scent of you engulfs his senses anddddd now he can’t take it off. Loves just going about his day in your hoodie and just smelling it every now and then it’s very relaxing. Eventually though you come back and see him strutting through the halls in your hoodie and some sweatpants. You clear your throat and he spins around so fucking fast. He’s speechless as your raise your eyebrow, eyeing you hoodie before looking at him again. Welp, he’s been caught red handed not much to say. He’d shrug it off with a sheepish apology, getting ready for his fun to end, but the second you start flirting with him by telling him he looks good in it and that he can keep it he’s beaming. He’s never been so happy. Proudly wears your hoodie for the rest of the day.

Tim would noticed your hoodie, grabbing it with a confused expression. He knows it’s rather cold out and that you were in a rush so he tries to catch you before you get too far only to find out from Dick that you already left. He’s not sure how, perhaps he leaned too deep into the temptation of it but he was somehow wearing your hoodie sitting over his desk as he sketched out some blueprints. It was comforting to wear, it fit him well and it smelled like you, one of his hands would perpetually be holding the fabric near his nose because of this. You come back wayyy sooner than he expected you to. Busting in his room, you ask if he’s seen your hoodie anywhere. “Dick said you were the last person to-“ the silence that fills the air is suffocating. He doesn’t know if you’re gonna yell or laugh and he just stares, his face getting increasingly more red. Eventually you just blink and tell him he looks good and he’s quick to say sorry and to start taking the jacket off. You stop him, telling him you’ll just find another, winking before you leave. He face plants into the desk afterwards.

Conner would most likely put it on by accident. It was in his laundry so it had to be his, though he quickly realized this wasn’t the case. Even then he couldn’t help but wear the comforting jacket after learning it was yours. You weren’t at base today anyways so it shouldn’t be a problem. Like Dick, he’d go on about his day just wearing your hoodie while doing menial tasks. He feels much closer to you while wearing it and finds himself often hugging the fabric closer to him. When you come back and see him he’s pretty embarrassed, he hadn’t expected to come face to face with you when walking into the kitchen, let alone while wearing your hoodie. “I’ve been looking for that,” you gestures towards the hoodie, smirking while crossing your arms. He apologized immediately and quickly explained how it ended up in his laundry. He asked if you wanted it back and you said no, that he should keep it because it looks cute on him. You looking him up and down like that is gonna make him pass out.

Wally would have been resting in your room as you got ready to leave, saying goodbye as you finished and left. His eyes would drift over to a chair where your hoodie rested on the back and he’d gasp. “Oh no! Y/n left his hoodie!” …. “Y/n left his hoodie~” He’d practically skip over to the chair, almost tripping in the process as he throws the garment over his head. “and it smells like him too,” he’d dreamily sigh before deciding to go watch a movie! He’d totally forget he was even wearing it to be honest, well not completely. He’d still know he was but he’d forget that it was something he technically shouldn’t be doing. “Having fun in my jacket?” His eyes shot in your direction, his hand full of popcorn pausing near his mouth as he stared at you. He gulped down nothing but his embarrassment as he tried to sheepishly greet you, his blush creeping down to his neck. He’d try and use an excuse but you’d just cut him off, saying that he should keep the hoodie on since he looks so cute. This man almost exploded at those words, his heart was definitely beating faster than any normal humans should. You’d wink before he left and he’d practically crumple in on himself. He’s like water in your hands at that point.

———

Directory

[demonbarbers]

so high rn so sorry if this doesn’t make any sense i’m just so emotional about josh and annaleigh and this production so i’m gonna ramble a bit about what i love about it and them. ok. enjoy.

the thing about sweeney todd is that it’s mean. it’s a mean show. it ends on the cruel irony of 2 officers bursting in on toby slitting sweeney’s throat, surrounded by 2 other bodies and one in the oven; on johanna watching her father die holding her mother and not even knowing it. everyone is an abuser or abused, and there is no hope or redemption to be found. and it fucking rules! it just rules. it’s so fun to indulge in our basest pleasures for nearly 3 hours, delicately served to us by one of the greatest composers who’s ever lived.

and every major production takes the bile and cruelty inherent to the material and runs away with it. like- just look at this swedish production from 2006, directed by vernon mound. or the last time it was on broadway, directed by john doyle:

productions tend go smaller and nastier, more intimate, in keeping with the spirit of how sondheim originally conceived the piece. (side note: i LOVE when they do that. my ideal sweeney has buckets of blood and visera right in your face)

the original production of sweeney was MASSIVE, but that came from hal prince. hal couldn’t really get an emotional foothold on the material until he found within sweeney an extended metaphor for capitalism and the industrial revolution; people literally eating people and the machine of capitalism grinding everyone up. revivals also tend to seize on the brechtian class elements, like this absolutely gorgeous korean production from 2019 directed by eric schaeffer:

sondheim, meanwhile, always objected to readings of sweeney as brechtian- it was all a farce to him, just a good, nasty time at the theatre. he approached it as a horror fan who wanted to write some fucked up stuff, which is maybe now some of the best art is created. but hal made it into epic theatre.

(if u don’t know what epic theatre is or what brechtian means google will explain it better to u than my ridiculously stoned ass can rn but im just focusing on one aspect of it rn: the distancing effect. basically, emotionally distancing the audience from the characters and the material so that everyone is engaging with the work on an intellectual level as opposed to an emotional one)

obc sweeney is an alienating show. it’s so fun and brutal and deeply felt, but these characters are grotesque. they’re cartoonish in their cruelty. just look at their makeup! john doyle also embraces the distancing effect; his revival is actor-muso, so we’re pretty aware at all times we’re watching a show. it’s all so cold, and the only warmth to be found is in the humor. and it rules. it’s nasty. i love it. this is the show i fell in love with.

all these things have become inherent to sweeney over time, all teased out of the greatest broadway show to ever exist; visceral horror, cruelty, coldness, and class commentary.

but this revival is just.. it’s warm! it’s lush! it’s romantic! and i don’t mean that in the sense of lovett and sweeney (tho this is the warmest they’ve ever been towards each other in any major production i’ve seen). i mean that it gestures at and plays with romanticism.

my biggest critique of this production is, in doing away with the brechtian elements (sondheim just cheered), it also does away with overt class commentary. it’s all still there in the text- turpin is a corrupt judge, beadle is effectively a sheriff, sweeney and lovett are working class, the beggar woman is homeless- but as a director tommy kail seems… uninterested in any biting political commentary, to put it generously lmfao. and i hate so much how little of it there is to be found in this revival, bc you can still Do It without invoking brecht. but i’ve long made my peace with that. i wanna talk about what i love.

and what i really love and what kept me returning to it (beyond the fact that it’s sondheim, and it’s sweeney, and josh groban is so stupid fucking hot) is how human everyone is. the entire production, from the ground up, is built around taking these characters and their pain seriously.

the ensemble all have incredibly period accurate costumes, unique to each character they’ve crafted (fun fact even the swings have their own unique costume that’s only seen when they perform). gone is toby as a mentally disabled man child with an oedipal fixation on lovett. in gaten’s hands he’s a young teenager, aging out of being a cute urchin and just looking for a mother. in daniel’s hands he’s beaten down young man with a limp and a genuine love for lovett.

ruthie’s beggar woman has developed DID after a brutal rape and the trauma of institutionalization and homelessness. she’s not played for laughs, even if sometimes the audience chuckles, and she makes u feel guilty if you ever did laugh at her situation. daniel yearwood leans so far into anthony as a sweet guy completely unaware of the story he’s actually in to the point of comedy. maria is just a revelation as johanna, all nerve and tension and bloody nails from years of self-harm. it’s easy to lean into johanna as a princess track, but ~crazy~. and maria plays jo as mentally ill and traumatized from years of incesteous abuse, but it’s not a pastiche or a praody of it. jo feels human in a way i’ve never seen her depicted before. i love it. maria bilbao u have my heart forever for this.

and then josh and annaleigh…. ugh!!! annaleigh really captures the avarice at the heart of lovett, but still brings in enough genuine moments of humanity and compassion that you find yourself (like sweeney and toby) endeared to her. lovett is always cruel and can only love through manipulation, but annaleigh’s lovett is a woman who makes small concessions. bit by bit, piece by piece, she erodes whatever goodness she had inside her until nothing but her desire for sweeney is left. she’s a woman who’s used seduction to get her way, and it’s easy to envision that when lucy returned from turpin’s, she shamed her for “giving it away” without getting benjamin back. she’s a monster! and yet, when she dreams of a better life, you feel it. when she holds toby in her arms and cried at her perfect little life unraveling, you feel it. annaleigh makes you laugh so hard she gets under your skin and stays there, exactly how lovett seduces sweeney in ALP. and there it is- identification! the complete opposite of alienation. we’re in it with them.

and then there’s josh and his sweeney… i really feel like his sweeney is undervalued. annaleigh steals the show. she won the drama desk for a reason. it’s a legendary performance. but josh…. man. i just. i keep returning to josh’s open wound of a sweeney over and over again. i think he’s probably had this take bouncing around in his head for years. they smartly leaned away from sweeney as this embodiment of rage and physical menace, which surprised a lot of people. but instead leaned into sweeney’s grief in a way i haven’t seen any major production do. josh’s sweeney feels like a man who was put on this earth to be a father and a husband. there’s a buried sweetness to him and you can still see benjamin barker in him until the very end. i keep calling him “kendall roy sweeney” bc it’s the closest way i can covey to other ppl what josh is doing here. he’s all big sad eyes and suicidal ideation, tragedy and twitchy hands. he’s so deeply pathetic he just endears himself to you. i want sweeney to succeed more than ever before. even though he spends all of act 2 killing people and being a shit father and thus killing benjamin barker, i still find myself wanting him and lovett to get away with it. and when the reveal comes, and even worse the betrayal hits- that this woman who he let into his life and body and who, in some odd way, became a friend, lied to him this entire time- it hits like never before for me.

i just love it all so much. i’m so happy it exists, so happy this revival does something so new! sondheim has said sweeney todd is a show about obsession, and it is. this revival supposes: what is the difference between love and obsession? what if the two look the same?

i think often of this quote from luca guadagnino’s suspiria (a masterpiece btw): “Love and manipulation, they share houses very often. They are frequent bedfellows.”

to me, that’s this revival in a nutshell- the thin line between love and obsession, and all the blood spilled in between.

[loganlostitall]

THE DEATH OF PEACE OF MIND

Rating: 18+ for sure

Word count: 1.7k

Characters: Negan Smith, adult gender neutral reader

Setting: Riverbend, season 11 episode 13

Content warnings: light spoilers!!! Be mindful of your own knowledge of the show. Oral sex (M receiving) and also references to oral sex (gn receiving), cum swallowing, spit/drool, slight mention of typical TWD violence, very brief speculation of Negan being dead ig?

Summary: you were in a relationship with Negan before he disappeared without a trace after Maggie took out the Reapers and found Alden. Just when you’re wondering if hope of finding him again is lost… there he is. And he’s very excited to see you.

Author’s note: I literally have no idea where this came from lmfao. I haven’t written in months and suddenly after listening to TDOPOM this little idea popped into my head and I couldn’t banish it so I sat down and slammed this out. Considering that there’s things I’ve had started since September, that’s a huge feat for me lmao. Anyways !!!

No beta, I’m gonna die with my errors like a man 🫡

NSFW under the cut

How long had it been, exactly? Whatever the amount of time, the true answer to such a question was too fucking long. Initially, when you left the Commonwealth a few days prior to venture further than your previous run in search of “resources” (also known as: your missing boyfriend; that you fully suspected everyone was too smart to believe you were looking for anything different, but continued lying to them anyway to avoid any emotional conflict) you hadn’t exactly… expected to actually find him. A piece of you had started to wonder if the time would come where you sunk a blade between a pair of vacant, milky eyes you’d despised and then adored.  

And so, you certainly were taken by surprise when one hand snatched your arm and the other covered your mouth just as it had fallen open to loose a scream. Catching the barest glimpse of familiar ink etched across the skin of your assailant’s arm, tears stung your eyes when you realized with nausea sinking low in your gut that you weren’t ready to take him out. Brain not even acknowledging the relieving factor that the fingers touching you were warm. 

In your searching for him, he found you. How poetic. 

Those same hands hadn’t left your body since. Like right now, one at the base of your skull; fingernails repetitively scratching your scalp, ever so slightly. 

“God fucking damn, I’ve missed this. I mean, I missed you too, of fuckin’ course I did, but this? Fucking incredible.” The slew of complimentary expletives were muttered through grit teeth, and between unsteady huffs of breath. A pinched groan followed immediately after the thick words. He was going to attract walkers; as flattering as it was, that was the first thought to come to mind and on instinct you retaliated what he had subjected you to not much earlier by slowly grazing your palm up the planes of his stomach, over his chest, and to his mouth... which only served to inspire another moan. 

His head bobbed side to side with some dazed form of a nod and he flashed a tired—but still as gorgeous as usual—smile when he pulled your hand away. “Okay, okay, I’ll shut the hell up,” he sighed, much quieter though clearly without lack of restraint. Pride resounded through you with every flex of his jaw.

The phantom sensation of your back being pinned flat against the tree where Negan’s is now was still very prominent, though the only evidence to show for it was the glisten of his lips and the smudges over the fabric of his jeans that clothed his knees. A dull throb resonated between your thighs when you lowered your eyes to admire the very proof of his head being nestled there not very long ago, and the hum when you smirked around his cock gave him no choice but to bite down on his fist and keep quiet. 

With that, you returned to the task at hand or, rather, at hand and mouth. Hollowing your cheeks, you sunk down until the head of his dick nudged against the back of your throat and did absolutely nothing to fight the gag that sounded as a result. A long time ago, in an entirely different life, things like that had bothered you. Everything about your performance needed to be perfect, until Negan. He liked when you struggled to accommodate him. Got off on it. 

The vein along the underside of his endowment jumped and you did not hesitate to flatten your tongue and press up against it, curl the tip, and drag from end to end of the hypersensitive stripe beneath Negan’s skin and revel in the shiver it drew from him. 

Scrunching his eyebrows together, he whispered, “Fuck,” and even such a short, succinct, single syllable word seemed to knock the breath out of him. His mouth thinned into a straight line, lips all but disappearing, and the back of his head made an unceremonious collision with the bark behind it. The grimace that found his face was short lived, because that was the moment you decided was perfect to bring a cupped palm and fingers to his scrotum. They drew up instantaneously upon being touched.

He was close already. Aw. He really did miss you. 

A heavy glob of saliva rolled out between his cock and your lips when they crowned over the glans, but you simply sucked in a gulping breath and followed it with your tongue rather than fearing the quality of your performance. Smearing your drool down the length of his shaft would surely ease the glide of your mouth for whatever little remainder of time there was here. You would tease him about this later, but given that Negan cumming fast was a rare occurrence, it would mainly be playful bragging. 

The practically hypnotic motion of his nails carding through the short hairs where your head met your neck ceased abruptly after deepthroating him once more, and you would have mourned the loss if not for the heavy lidded, glazed over, hazel brown eyes that truly appeared to be doing nothing less than memorizing the way every feature of your face looked when your lips were stretched around him. You pushed up on his balls and squeezed, just barely bordering outside of the threshold of pain for him, and the hissed ‘awfuck-’ was your only warning. 

Never would you have believed that you could miss the taste of a man’s cum, and yet here you were, realizing how fucking happy you were to be tasting him, swallowing everything down like some sort of elixir. Hardly an easy task around something in your mouth, and repeatedly ramming down your throat due to him holding you in place as his hips jerked, but you were more than enthusiastic despite it. All you could do was squeeze your thighs together, breathe through your nose, swallow, and allow yourself to be used for the first time in what had felt like the longest six months in your entire life. Suddenly you couldn’t remember a single sweet thing that had ever tasted better than Negan Smith.

Though logically you knew it wasn’t a very long affair, the limited intake of oxygen disoriented you enough that you couldn’t quite tell how much time passed before the grip on the back of your head relinquished and a now softening erection retracted from your mouth. You drank air into your lungs as if you’d been under water and dropped your hands, both of which had a tacky mixture of drool and precum connecting them to your lips and his skin, all while holding eye contact even though his own gaze was trained upon your swollen, sticky mouth. 

After a moment to collect himself and gather his bearings—both literally and figuratively because he tucked himself back inside of his boxers but didn’t pull up the zip, Negan offered out his hands for you to grab hold of and help you back onto your feet. There were matching patches of dirt on your knees. As you started to bend down to dust yours off, a finger hooked beneath your chin to raise your head once more. He wiped the light, streaky eyeliner you managed to score from Princess off of your cheeks; and afterwards brought the hem of his black t-shirt to your mouth that was no more than a mess of goop but that wicked tongue of his peeked out from between his teeth as he cleaned up the mess. 

“So goddamn hot, baby,” Negan rushed forward to steal a kiss, which you happily reciprocated and that same tongue followed shortly after. You could still taste yourself in his mouth. Certainly, his own flavor lingered behind as well. The groan that fled his mouth to dissolve into yours was answer enough. “Fuckin missed the taste of us. Swear my dick could get hard all over again just from this shit.” His hand dropped to your own jeans that you’d secured back over your hips after you came, just in case a situation arose and the both of you had to be able to run quickly. Bypassing the zipper, Negan slid his fingers past the waistband and dipped into your underwear to gather what remained of your excrement and his own saliva, raising it to his lips to lick his fingers clean. There had hardly been enough time to suppress a moan before his mouth found your neck and you rolled your head off to the side, giggling in the process, to allow further access. 

Unfortunately for the both of you, upon looking towards where you could only assume Negan had been taking shelter, your eyes fell to a sight that meant things would have to cease for now. 

“…Is that Gabriel?”

“Hmm? Oh, yeah, forgive me Father or however the fuck that goes.” 

His mouth had only ceased its assault on your throat long enough to mumble the words against your skin, sending a chill through you and raising goosebumps all over you that would have to go ignored. Much to your chagrin, Gabriel and Aaron were approaching the building that Negan’s new group resided within, and perhaps it was paranoia but a little skepticism went a long way since the dead started walking.

While half-assedly shoving his face away from yourself, you asked, “What are your new men like?”

“Not very nice,” he answered with a shrug; failing multiple attempts to dodge your hand until deciding he would settle for kissing your palm instead. Would have been endearing under any other circumstance. 

“Negan Smith!” 

“UuugghhhhUUUUUUHHH fine!” He blustered overdramatically, tossing his arms up over his head with a heaving sigh and roll of his eyes just before zipping his pants back up, and then yours after. You wiped your hands on his pants as he began walking. 

And, even despite the current circumstance, after all the time you’d spent missing him, you couldn't help but smirk at his grumblings about no amount of Hail Mary’s or Our Father’s being repentance enough for what he would do to them for giving him Blue Balls as he guided you around the building for safe entry. 

Like he hadn’t cum already. If you made it out of this, which you could never be sure of anymore, it seems like you were going to have a lot of sucking up to do. 

Literally. 

This one-shot was actually a massive challenge for me because I’ve always found it almost completely impossible to write something so short because I try to pour everything into my writing and drag it out.. which really makes me worry that this is horrible/boring 😭

Anyways, hope it’s not and people find it decent. I won’t be doing much x reader stuff because I have an OC and an entire story planned out for him when I find the time, but there will be a few ! :)

Idk who else to tag other than my loyal bffs @murdadixon @hopefulatrocity @lanadelnegan 🥰 besitos para mis bebés

[grapejuicestyless]

Harry Styles x Fem!Reader

HSLOT opener Instagram blurb pt.2

Faceclaim: Gracie Abrams

🟢🟡🔵liked by harrysfinsta and 27 others

yourfinsta Apparently me and Harry are beefing. It was fun while it lasted.

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paulithepsm nooo 😧

mitchschips this is such sad news.

|itssarahsband They were doing so well too!

harrysfinsta I can’t believe you hate me now.

|yourfinsta I’m sorry you found out this way.

🔵🟢🟡liked by taylorswift and 342,001 others

yourinstagram Weird things are happening…

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harrystyles hm…

taylorswift I’m ready!

|oliviarodrigo Y/N UR GONNA FLIP.

|yourusername OH MY GOD TAYLOR SWIFT.

y/nsminorlystuck she’s so cute!

harrystan09 Harry I see what you saw in her. She’s the perfect opener for this tour. My new crush.

|yourusername I’m honored.

🟢🟡🔵liked by harrysonlyangel and 78,000 others

HSdaily @yourusername on stage tonight for HSLOT with fan made signs!

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y/nrryontour She’s so unserious. I love it😭

harryscherries She’s so cute!

wearinglongsleeves Y/n holding the no bitches sign 😭😭😭

yourusername I love stumbling on all these posts about me. It’s true Harry’s gets no bitches!

|harrysfineline HELLO???

|lizzo I LOVE YOU, ICON.

|yourusername 💞

🔵🟢🟡liked by harrysheart and 6,570,000 others

harrystyles I’d like to point out I get many bitches @yourusername

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yourusername HARRY WRONG ACCOUNT.

jeffazoff Harry.

yourusername HARRY THIS ISNT YOUR SPAM.

mitchrowland 🤨🤨

harrysfineline UHHHH GUYS.

ynrryontour Ig Harry has a crush on her too 😭😭

|harryscherries called it 😧

yourusername Harry Edward fucking Styles.

|ynharrysndlizzo HARRY YOURE GONNA DIE LMFAO.

🟡🔵🟢liked by harrystyles and 23 others

yourfinsta he said he was sorry.

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harrysfinsta IM SORRY OKAY?

|yourfinsta Harry it’s still up 🤨

|harrysfinsta I enjoy the chaos.

|yourfinsta evil.

nyohspam Harry needs to be under strict supervision.

|paulithepsm obviously 😭😭

🟡🔵🟢liked by taylorswift and 2,480,000 others

yourusername Is now a good time to announce my first album…@harrystyles?? #damagecontrol

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harrystyles I stole your spotlight.

|yourusername left on read.

|harryscherries BYEEE THE DAMAGE CONTROL.

taylorswift I’m ready for this.

oliviarodrigo THIS REALLY IS UR YEAR GIRL.

conangrey THATS MY BEST FRIEND.

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[analogwriting]

Star-Crossed

Chapter 5: Cuore

Donquixote Rosinante x gn!reader word count: 3.2k a/n: mio tesorino = my little treasure, ciao papi = hello, dad. again, i just used google translate for these lmfao it's supposed to be italian cause i said fuck it let's just go whole hog on this mafia idea.

On your way to the cafeteria, you ended up being called away on another business ordeal. You knew you couldn’t just leave Rosinante to fend for himself, not when you told him you’d be back. You spotted Shachi at the corner of your eye. Perfect!

“Shachi!” He jumped, looking over at you with wide eyes. He scittered over to you. “Y-Yes?” 

Your eyebrows furrowed together as you watched his behavior. “Shachi, you’re not in trouble.” All of the tension left his body and he visibly deflated. 

“Oh, thank heavens.” 

You narrowed your eyes, folding your arms across your chest. “Why? Should you be in trouble?”

His eyes widened once more and he shook his head quickly. “N-No, doctor, I- uh-”

“I’m joking. I just need you to go and grab Rosinante some food from the cafeteria. He’s in my office. He lost a lot of blood during his fall earlier, so see to it that he’s good to go, alright?” You smiled at him with a nod.

“What happened?”

“You can ask him. I have to go. Thanks!” You smiled at him again and took off towards your next task.

--

The next day you were in your office with Marco, planning out how the day was going to go for the newbies. There were certain areas you wanted them to work on, so you had to specifically plan out their schedules. You were going to do the planning yesterday, but you had a bit of a setback with a certain clumsy man. Threw your entire afternoon out of whack.

“I think Law could practice bedside manners a little more. Sometimes he’s a little too blunt.” You pinched the bridge of your nose. It wasn’t his lack of trying, he just wasn’t one to sugarcoat things. Which could be a good thing, but sometimes people didn’t take to it well. 

Marco nodded, chuckling. “I’ll have him stick with me. I’ll watch over him today. We’ll get him to interact a little more with people. He’s going to absolutely hate it though.” He snorted. “He’s gonna think you’re holding something against him.” 

You frowned. “Well, that’s not the case,” you mumbled, folding your arms, but shaking your head. “No matter, it’s something he needs to work on. He’ll be fine.” You moved on, looking at your list.

“And Bepo could…use the opposite.” You let out a long sigh. “He’s doing great with the kids, but he needs to put his foot down just a little bit more. They are definitely using his niceness to their advantage.” 

“What if we put Law with the kids and had Bepo work with all the grumpy patients?”

You looked at him with wide eyes. “I think that might put them both into a culture shock that I don’t want to deal with.” The both of you burst into laughter as the images popped into your mind. “But it wouldn’t hurt to try it out.” 

“True. Maybe for, like, an hour.”

Before you could get any further, you were called to the front desk. You sighed, grumbling. “I swear if it’s another stupid thing I’m going to absolutely lose my marbles,” you said, setting your clipboard down. Marco stood up from his perched spot on your desk. A position he took so often that there was a slight indent on your desk from him. You’ve had the same desk for years, so it’s had plenty of time to warp.

“Well, I’ll get everyone started on their new positions, you go check out whatever is going on up front.”

You nodded, smiling at Marco. “Thanks, you’re the best.”

“I know. What would you do without me?”

“Die, probably.”

“More than likely.”

As you headed towards the front desk, you saw a very amused looking Law standing at the end of the hallway. He saw you, nodding in greeting before dipping out. What was that all about? What was he doing out here? Wasn’t he supposed to be-

“Y/n!” As you turned the corner, your thought process was cut off as someone said your name. Your eyes landed on the tall man that just keeps coming into your life. You opened your mouth to say his name when you remembered that Law always called him ‘Corazon’ not Rosinante. So, technically, you wouldn’t know that name. You’ve never officially treated him, after all.

“Corazon.” It was weird on your tongue, but you rolled with it. You saw his cheeks turn a little pink. “You know my name?” he asked.

“I work with your son. Of course I know your name.” 

You folded your arms, studying him for a moment. You tilted your head to the side as you took the man in. He seemed nervous and his hands were behind his back, which automatically put you on edge because of past experiences, but at the same time you felt he wouldn’t do something like that. He squirmed under your gaze.

“What’s going on? Are you the one who called for me? You look nervous.” You raised your eyebrows. “How are you feeling?” You walked over to him, examining him closer. You took his arm gently looking at the stitching before looking up and taking his head in your hands gently to pull him close so you could examine the small cut on his face to see how it was healing.

“I-I’m fine!” He pulled away as he squeaked, stepping back a little.

You blinked in surprise, looking at him. “Then what…?”

“I-I wanted to formally apologize for yesterday. And also thank you for being so nice. And Law mentioned you really liked coffee so…”

He held out a bag of your favorite brand and something clicked in the back of your brain. Law wouldn’t have known your favorite brand. Motherfucking Marco. They had to be working together. What the hell was going on? No, no. Don’t get ahead of yourself. Just a simple gesture of thanks. That’s all. Corazon probably asked Law who asked Marco. You’ll let it slide this time.

“Take this as my token of gratitude. I-If you want,” he said, mumbling the last part. As he spoke, his face grew more and more red. The receptionists were watching you like they were watching a live soap opera. They were hanging on to every action and word with bated breath.

Your own eyes were wide though as the gears turned in your head. You felt your face slowly start heating up as your own brain began to short circuit. 

“Uh, y/n?”

“I think you broke them.” One receptionist chimed.

“Yeah, they’re not too good with tokens of gratitude or compliments. Humble as they come, that one. Give them a minute to restart.”

Corazon looked at them, nodding before looking back to you as concern spread across his face.

Just like that - you were back online.

“Oh, thank you.” You resumed as if you hadn’t just stood there rebooting for the last minute and a half. Corazon seemed to jump a little as you just…came back to life suddenly. “You really didn’t have to do it and I can’t really-”

“I will give it to you off the clock if I have to. Say it’s a present from one friend to another. Then it doesn’t have to be a weird ethic thing.” 

You looked at him as he seemed to read your mind. Your eyes narrowed slightly. Usually it was Marco the one doing that; and that made sense. It was weird when it was someone else. Someone you’d only met a few times. 

“Doctor, you better take it!” You looked over at the receptionists with a droll expression before sighing. “Okay, okay.”

You looked at Corazon, taking the bag of coffee and smiling at him. You bowed your head slightly. “Thanks.”

“No, no. I’m the one thanking you, remember?”

You snorted, shaking your head. “Yeah, yeah.” You rolled your eyes with a small smile and a wave of dismissal. You let out a silent sigh, feeling your brain going back to normal.

A chime came from your watch and you groaned. “Oh, I’m sorry. I’d love to stay and chat, but I have a stupid meeting.” You looked at Corazon and smiled at him. “Thanks again and I’m sure I’ll see you around. Fate and all,” you teased. You winked at him and turned on your heel, speeding off.

Corazon just watched as you left, his face turning a bright red. 

“Oooh, boy. You are smitten.” The receptionist chimed with a large smile. 

“And I think the sentiments returned. I think that’s the longest they’ve ever taken to reboot.” The other mused. The two burst into laughter.

Corazon quickly turned and hightailed it out of there, working very hard not to break anything on his way out; all while his face was on fire…figuratively.

--

About a week went by where you didn’t see Corazon, not that he had a reason to come to the hospital and you weren’t exactly going out. You were working more as it was beginning to grow cold outside, so cold and flu season was upon you. The hospital was busier and you had to step in to help ease the load of your doctors and nurses. You weren’t the type of boss who just watched your people struggle, you always lent a helping hand, wanting to make things easier for your employees.

However, you were surprised to see him in the front area talking to Law. He happened to see you, face brightening as he waved at you. Law glanced over his shoulder at you - a glint of something in his eye. He was definitely up to something. 

“Y/n!” You offered a small wave. “Corazon. What are you doing here?”

“Well, Law texted me saying that he had forgotten something, so I came to bring it to him!”

You looked at Law, eyes narrowing slightly. He looked at you with an innocent expression. “Well, that’s unlike you. I hope you’re not catching a cold,” you said to him, looking him dead in the eye - almost challenging him. He looked at you right back, accepting whatever challenge you had in store for him.

This shithead. He was like a mini-Marco in the making.

“I’m feeling just fine, doctor. A simple mix up is all.”

“Mhm.” You looked at him for a moment longer before turning to Corazon. “Well, it’s nice seeing you. Keep an eye on Law at home. Just to make sure the poor thing isn’t sick.” You looked back at the younger man. “And I’ll keep an eye on him here.”

Corazon was completely oblivious to whatever silent war you and Law were currently having. “Oh, okay. I suppose it is that time of year. And he does have a habit of overworking himself. I’ll make sure he’s getting plenty of rest.”

You looked at Corazon once more, smiling and nodding. “You’re a good father, I’m sure you’ll look out for him.” The words escaped from your mouth before you could stop them, a softness to your voice that you didn’t have often.

You froze for a moment, watching as Corazon turned a bright read and your own mind short circuiting. A large shit eating grin spread across Law’s face as if he had won the lottery. 

“I have to go. Stay safe.” You turned on your heel, hightailing it out of there. Fuck. 

--

After that embarrassing blunder, you noticed Corazon at the hospital a couple times a week. Law always seemed to be ‘forgetting’ something or the man was bringing him lunch of some kind, as per Law’s request. Or he was bringing something for one of the other three boys. And Marco seemed to always happen to bring you in that way when he showed up too. They were all working together. Hell, you wouldn’t be surprised if the receptionists were in on it.

They were all as little matchmakers and you were going to fight all of them if you weren’t so damn busy. Everything was honestly getting to you. Between the stress of long hours, you pushing yourself, these stupid, pointless meetings that wasted your time. Honestly, Corazon’s little visits did give you some reprieve, it was like a breath of fresh air. He was a breath of fresh air. Fuck.

You ended up snapping in one of your board meetings with the other doctors from other hospitals. They were talking about something trivial, boasting like usual and you just…snapped.

“For the love of god, is there anything fucking important for today’s meeting? Unlike the rest of you, I have a hospital to run. I don’t fucking have time to fluff your egos.” 

You glared into your camera with a twitch in your eye as everyone entered a stunned silence. “I’m so fucking tired of these meetings. I’m not going to attend anymore. If you have something important for me, fucking email it.” Then you slammed your laptop shut, letting out a loud, exasperated sigh.

“I was honestly wondering when you’d do that.”

You looked up, seeing Marco leaning against the doorframe with two cups of coffee. “I suppose it was a long time coming,” you mumbled with a sigh, taking the mug as it was offered. 

“You put up with it longer than I would have. They’re also probably going to call me later and ask me what’s got your underwear in a bunch and if I can talk you down.” Marco laughed, shaking his head. They had done it a few times. You had been curt with them before, cold. Every time, they called Marco to ‘get you in line’ basically. Every time the both of you just laughed about it. It was stupid. They were stupid.

“I suppose that freed up a lot of time though. That’s…a lot of meetings less a week.” They had all just been calling for the most stupid shit and most of it on the fly. “I swear, none of them actually work.”

“And that’s why their hospitals aren’t the top,” your best friend mused, making you snort. He wasn’t wrong.

You stood up with a stretch and a sigh. “Alright. What’s on the agenda now, then?” you mumbled, taking a swig of your drink. Marco shook his head. “You need a moment to cool down so we’re going to go and do a lap.”

You just stared at him. “Marco. It’s literally cold and flu season, we don’t have ti-”

“We have time. I have it covered. Everyone knows you need a break. Let’s go.” He began to usher you out of your office. “But we have-”

“No. We’re taking a lap and then you can worry, okay?”

You sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose. He was right. You couldn’t operate like this; well, you could, but you shouldn’t. You wouldn’t let anyone else do this. Marco is doing what you would do. He always looked after you like that, just as you did with him. Though, he was better at taking it easy than you were. You were always stretching yourself thin for the sake of making sure no one else did it.

Finally, you gave in, walking by his side and listening to him prattle on about whatever was going on in the hospital currently. You knew of what was happening on the medical side, but you were never up to date on gossip like he was. He was a social butterfly that knew everything that was going on in that realm of things. He always kept you up to date. You personally didn’t care what your employees did or who they associated with and how as long as they did their jobs. And they all did, so you saw no issues.

“Y/n!” You looked up, coming back to the real world as you heard a voice say your name, and it wasn’t Marco. A wave of calm washed over you just like every other time you’ve been seeing him lately.

It was only then that you realized you were in the front area. Marco had led you right to Corazon. You gave him a look, making him put up his hands in surrender before looking at the giant man before you. “Corazon.” You offered a tired smile.

“Are you okay? You look exhausted.” The man frowned, looking at you. “You need to be taking care of yourself too, you know. Weren’t you just telling me to make sure Law didn’t overwork himself?” You looked up at him, feeling your cheeks heat up.

You were used to Marco’s fretting but when it was someone else it always made you flustered. Were you that obvious to read? “Just a shitty meeting is all,” you mumbled, which wasn’t exactly wrong.

“Oh.” He frowned, seemingly not believing you. Which he also wouldn’t be wrong.

“Why are you here?” you asked. “Did Law forget something again? Should we get his head checked?”

“I’m…actually here for you this time.”

You blinked, looking at him as your brain was not computing. “Me?” You tilted your head to the side. “Is it about Law? I mean, you shouldn’t worry. He’s doing just great an-”

“Not that.”

You stopped, looking at him incredulously. If not for Law, then for what? Was he also interested in working here since he was always here? “Is it about one of the other boys then? They’re doing just fine too. T-”

“Also no.”

“Then wh-”

“Well, let me talk and I might be able to tell you.” He chuckled in a way that made your chest hurt and your face went hot.

“O-Okay,” you squeaked out, your brain coming to a full stop as you had no idea what was going on. You were about to go into full reboot again.

“Well, I wanted to ask you-”

“Mio tesorino!” Your eyes went wide as a new voice rang through the front area. A voice you knew well. Not one you hated, but one you didn’t want to hear right now at this moment considering who was standing in front of you.

Corazon saw your face. “Y/n? Are you okay? Who-” He turned around, seeing the owner of the voice. You felt the man stiffen next to you. His entire demeanor changed in an instant. It resembled the one that he had on the night that you met him. He stepped in front of you, almost as if defending you. It made sense given the circumstance. Of course Corazon would recognize the man before him. He was well known both above and below. 

“My, who do we have here?” the voice almost taunted. For fuck’s sake, he was enjoying this far too much. What the hell was he doing here unannounced? He never did this! You told him not to do this. You needed to stop this before he got out of hand.

You felt Corazon step forward but you grabbed his shirt, pulling him back and walking around him. You felt his eyes on you. 

Your eyes fell to the man who was currently walking in with two other men next to him. They were all wearing wild print button ups with slacks and loafers. You sighed, knowing this was going to kick you in the ass later. “Ciao, papi.”

[carebeartherese]

My live reactions to Loki ep 4:

(Already 7 mins in and I’m angry with Kang)

-hell yea the clock lady wants you (what the fuck)

-mobius and Loki are very boyfriends rn

-shit the loom

-LOKI LOOKED AT MOBIUS’ HAND

-sorry

-I love this Victor timely fella tbh

-oh fuck dox

-B15 my love <333

-no don’t let dox live

-oooooo words

-Víctor is so autism

-ob and Casey <3333

-ob and victor meeting each others idles

-snake eating it’s own tail= Ouroboros

-FANGIRLING

-CASEY JEALOUS??

-mobius is so sweet

-NOT THE BIGASS SUIT THING AGAIN POOR MOBIUS

-lmfao petty ob

-hahahahah VOLUNTEER LOKI

-skin?

-mobius and Loki fighting like an old couple is my favorite

-Sylvie = third wheel

-Loki is in fact super fast

-ooop victor is think

-Casey and ob are so bf coded

-CASEY IS THE OTHER WOMAN NOW

-PIE DATE 2???

-sylvie pls let them be a couple

-dude this bitch

-CALLING OUT MOBIUS FR

-HE HASNT LOOKED CAUSE HE LOVES LOKI HE WANTS TO STAY WITH HIM

-MOBIUS AND SYLVIE FACING OFF WHILE LOKI STANDS IN THE BACKGROUND IS ACTUALLY PEAK CINEMA

-WHO WILL HE CHOOSE

-pie pls

-LOKI YOU CHOSE HER???

-oh brad

-shit

-please don’t start a prison riot

-don’t bring Galileo into this

-Stfu dox

-uhhhh this tension is strange

-B15 !!!!!!

-brad doing the same hand-resting thing with his collar

-PIE TIME

-wait sylvie gtfo

-ohhhh please let them fight about MOBIUS

-Loki monologue incoming

-lmfao Thor mocking

-also Loki character development???

-yea those people live because of his lover

-damn wise words ig

-I don’t like them as a couple please don’t let this happen again

-yea sylvie thats kinda the point of hope

-i don’t hate her she’s just annoying on occasion

-anyways

-ok but you are gods tho

-thx Loki also back tf up

-MOVE ON /SRS

-damn that pie room is the real star or the show

-fuck dox srsly

-NO NO RAVONNA STOP

-also crazy bitch Ms minutes honorable mention

-SHES WORKING ON HERSELF OK

-oh shit life on the timeline?? Fr???

-oh fuck no you crazy bitches

-WHAT ARE THEY DOING

-BRAD NO

-FUCK DONT SQUISH THEM

-NO PLEASE OMFG RAVONNA

-MS MINUTES WHY ARE YOU PSYCHOTIC

-Brad that was fuckin cold

-see even ravonna doesn’t actually give a fuck who you are brad

-Casey x OB x Timely???

-It’s hotchoc victor

-I love victor

-mobius is so supportive

-what’s happening with the tempads tho???

-oh sorry b15 it’s people goo now

-MS MINUTES STOP THIS AINT SUPPOSED TO BE HORROR

-Aw he made the guard hot coco

-OH FUCK

-BRAD WHAT THE HELL YOU CUNT

-IT WAS SO WHOLESOME UNTIL YOU SHOWED UP

-MOBIUS AND VIRUSES LMFAO

-shit Ms minutes

-stawp

-loki and mobius need more screen time together

-this feels much scarier than it should tbh

-ohhh….hey ravonna….sorry about all that

-oh shit ok

-mommy? Sorry, mommy? Sorry-

-brad please relax with your 70s hair

-TIMELY DONT BE A DICK PLS

-RUN LOKI RUN

-oh fuck this is it ig

-real Ms minutes sucks

-shits getting real

-loki is gonna get pruned by himself

-sylvie constantly plays elevator music in her soul

-this is where Loki gets pruned!!!! Probably by himself

-yup I was right prune yourself

-damn sylvie strong

-good job loki???

-sorry just had to kill past me rq

-WHOS calling???

-and th e call was coming from IsIdE tHe HoUsE

-oh dammit ob you scared me

-mobius is so worried about his boyfriend he’s willing to reboot the whole system

-LET THE LOKIS USE THEIR POWERS SRSLY

-BYE MS MINUTES

-Aw poor timely they aren’t mocking you

-OH SHIT

-you’ll never be him.

-that shit was menacing fr

-oh DONT send brad out on his own!!!

-he gonna die

-fuck that was kinda hot ngl

-anyways hi sylvie/brad

-FUCK YEA SCREW YOU RAVONNA

-lokius has had way too few scenes today

-loki <333

-oh thank god

-OH THERE IS NO GOD

-THE LOOM

-oh loki please be safe

-don’t send timely out pls

-no dont!!!

-TIMELY PLS DONT DIE

-OH SHIT BLACK HOLE SPAGHETTI

-NO TIMELY PLEASE

-GOD HOW FIX PLS

-NO BAD LOKI

-STAY PUT PLEASE

-DUDE

-THIS SHIT IS TERRIFYING

-B15 MY LOVE

-OH FUCK WHY IS IT DARK

-WHAT THE HELL WHAT JUST HAPPENED

-THAT IS AN UNFAIR CLIFFHANGER

-COME BACK

[ovaruling]

i’m never even gonna have kids but i seem to be the only person i know in my friend groups who cares abt the future generations of humans on this planet lmfao how did that even happen.

everyone i know with kids just keeps funding animal agriculture with everything they do. there is literally not even an ounce of effort to do better for those children to have a habitable planet—they admit to me all the time when i try to raise awareness to them: “i know i should, but…”

i completely do not understand it. how can you care so little about the world your kid is gonna inherit. how can you care so little about how many hormones and antibiotics and E. coli bacteria and allergens you’re feeding your baby. how can you flat out ignore how much cheaper and more nutritious it would be to change. i just don’t get it.

if i had a child i would be terrified right now—terrified enough to do everything in my power to give them a safe, healthy life.

i ask this even of my own parents—how could they have cared so little about the world they were leaving me in, even when they knew the risks, even as news became more and more obvious and urgent? how could they lack the curiosity altogether to wonder how to do better for me? why didn’t i matter enough?

how can they look me in the eye and tell me they EVER gave a single loving shit about my future when they kept giving Animal Ag the majority of their grocery bill? when they saw the headlines? when they heard the news reports? when we personally lived through hurricane after hurricane after hurricane from rising ocean temperatures, destroying our home, battering our resources?

even now, as summers become the hottest on record EVERY SINGLE YEAR? as “freak weather” pummels us, floods us, kills us? as bird flu emerges in cows, and transmits to humans? as more and more produce becomes contaminated from the fecal waste runoff from animal farms? as species die off in droves? if these are not enough reason, then what the fuck is it gonna have to take?

how can people care so little about their children when we have all this information at our disposal? why don’t your children matter enough to you to even try?

why is it always up to activists to care about the world your children will have when you are gone?

[vrisrezis]

General waluigi relationship hcs because nobody will write for my man’s . Don’t judge me for this one

Also I haven’t done this formate for writing in so longggg

MY MANNNSSS waluigi !!

• He may seem like a jerk to others but to you he’s the absolute sweetest dork of all time☹️☹️☹️☹️❤️❤️ like I swear whenever your around he’s got nothing up his sleeve he is on his best behavior and wario is just like 😐 bro u are down so bad .

• also he’s a blushy dork whenever you’re around especially if he does a nice gesture and your like “omg ur so sweet! ^_^” he dies inside he just gives you a stupid toothy smile he cannot handle that shit his face is pure red

• SMOOCHIES!!! Listen he’s too shy to initiate believe it or not… so whenever you do.. OMGGGG he dies and he loves smooches on the cheek so much

• when it comes to sports he goes easy on you and wario wants him dead for being the reason they lost a tennis match

• silly goof of course he gives you flowers … ROSES . OF COURSE

• but if you give him roses he would die on the inside he’s just like “… nobody’s given me flowers b4 wtf” his heart explodes!!!

• don’t get that I can fix him mentality tho . He is who he is even if he tries to hide it from you, you’ll know eventually.

• he’s not that bad tho let’s be honest 🤷‍♀️

• he is a bit shy in your relationship but at the same time a big flirt, he’s all talk but no action, pretty much.

• he worries abt u a lot he’s such a dad ok . Don’t let him catch you without a scarf when it’s snowing outside

• fashion icon ok if you two are dating you guys are wearing matching outfits when it comes to tennis and any other sport you guys play with everyone else

• I hc that he’s Puerto Rican so he probably says romantic shit in Spanish to you LMFAO

• you may think he’s the one carrying you bridal style but really it’s the other way around and he may act like he hates it but he loves it so :)

• also might I add that he loves sleeping on your lap, anyway possible

• likes shorter s/o’s but wouldn’t mind it if you were taller

• not the hero type but lets just say if bowser were to ever mess with you… oh boy not good he’ll fuck up bowser so badly

• likes to share hoodies with you because he thinks you look cute in his and he looks adorable in hoodies so it’s a win win

• loves them innocent neck kisses :))

• one smooch will make him feel better when he’s angry or upset

• also a sap he’s the type to stare at you with love in his eyes with a stupid warm smile on his face and the type to just be in awe when the wind is blowing your hair just right and time slows down for him when you kiss and blah blah blah he’s a dork

• although he comes across as confident I see waluigi being insecure in a relationship as it’s not something he’s used to at all.

• he gets jealous of Luigi a lot I’m just gonna say it lmao

• but honestly just kiss him and make it better , maybe have a talk about it

• likes to slow dance with you AGRUSBXKNS he’s so cute

• also he’s on the trans hc list for me so he helps you out if youre trans lol

• body positivity for you both ayyy totally not because I get literally nightmares about my body no not at all no this is not me projecting cuz I love waluigi

• cosplaying eachothers outfits

• he hates playing Mario party now because you kick his ass LMFAO

• likes to spin you around, also likes to be spun around. Idk cute romantic shit what can I say

• big on stupid one liners he can use on you, he is such a loser

• loves to tease you but it’s all in good fun and jokes lol

• overall waluigi is a dorkkkk imo <3 love him

[washa]

I listened to The Summit audio and here’s my favourite personal comments/thoughts! (IM STILL IN SHOCK WHAT TEH FUCK)

HELP OF COURSE ASHER LOST A FUCKING SHOE 

David’s gonna whip your ass Ash 

WHY ARE WE ROASTING ASHER SO BAD

Milo being a fashionista cannon

“Good thing belts don't correlate to height.” DAVID

Ash, Baabe, get a fucking room 

Sweetheart i’m crying please give a man some dress socks

---------------------

Vincent sounds so anxious

AWH NO WILL COME ON MAN NOT THE ASSISTANT 

Vincent baby… 😕

“I can't control how people are acting but I can control how I react.” PREACHHH VINCENT 

Mhm run past me. OOH MUSIC FUCK YES, THE DRACULA MUSIC I LOVE IT 🙏

Surprise??? He’s spoiling Lovely so bad

I'M SCARED IS IT GONNA JUMP AT ME LIKE THOSE PLASTIC SPIDERS

A CROWN?? NO NO NO THAT’S SO FUCKING SWEET 

THE SAME CRAFTSMAN AND EVERYTHING I CANNOT DO THIS😭

Wait, does Sam have a crown too?? Like being a duke

HE CALLED US BABY I CANNOT 

-----------------------

Shit these sound effects are FIRE

Yo Sam wassup my guy.

Oh Porter. Hi dear ☹️

Sam is literally the opposite of me I love small talk and big events lmfao 

“Good people” He’s so salty lmfao

There’s no way Darlin’ isn’t smoking hot rn

AY ICE CREAM TUBS, Mint chocolate chip for the win 🙌

I imagine them going hand in hand, like elbows connected.

--------------------------

Porter being a smooth bitch. (as usual)

Vincent is surprisingly kind abt this, well as nice as he can

IS TREASURE NOT HERE?? DID PORTER GASLIGHT ALL OF US.. 😰

That went well. Lovely calm your boyfriend before he pulls out his hair

Nah let like Sam punch him it’s funnier.

Are these other vamps that bad oh my god 

Ooh business deals?? Yes make that moolah.

Eccentric?? Tf you mean eccentric. I don’t think David can handle more eccentric people in his life.

HELP NOT ASH PICKING UP ON VINCENT (unrelated but can we just acknowledge how emotionally mature and smart Asher is?)

WHAT DID ASH DO?? TEAR DOWN A WALL???

Oh god Bennetts?? They sound pleasant.

Wait wait, House of Baz were allies, and but every word out of Deon's mouth was to diss William??? WHAT TYPE OF SHITTY ALLIES

I want those two to die, for all of their house to run into the sun. 

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ALEXIS HOLY SHIT AH

Latest conquest?? Come here let me rip you up 

JESUS WHAT THE FUCK ALEXIS?? SORRY I'M NOT IMMORTAL GOD DAMN.

I don’t wanna fight you lex. YOU GROW UP?? PETTINESS IS CHILDISH.

You selfish little bitch. I’M GONNA BITE HER URGHSHSHGY

Porter thank FUCK YOU'RE HERE

YES YES YES PORTER OH MY GOD GO PORTER, Thank you Porter 😭

Alexis can suck my dick. 

“Like a proper family” That's an interesting view on what your idea of a loving family is Porter.

Sammy BOY??? HELP IM CACKLING

Surprisingly Porter is in the right here. 

WOAH SHOWDOWN SHOWDOWN WOO 

WAS PORTER JUST LEFT THERE

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Oh god what fucking now, i cannot DEAL with anymore self centred fuckers.

Is he warning us? What’s happening.

OH MY GOD ADAM I FORGOT ABT HIM. 

Ykw he’s got a point here, a REALLY good point. CONSIDERING THE HOUSE OF BAZ THING.

ALEXIS SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE IN YOUR WRINKLED SQUEZZED GRAPE ASS LIFE

Sam :((( yes Sam you deserve that.

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Asher and Milo bring up the mood woop woop 

HOLY SHIT JUMPSCARE

Good lord Porter has a bad rep already w them

Investor gadget woop woop, investor gadget bam bam bam bam go gadget go bup bam bam bam badum badump.

?? CLOSEKNIT?? GOD DAMMIT FUCK CAN WE GO ONE VIDEO WITHOUT REFERENCING THEM

Milo clamp your jaw for a sec

OH MY GOD THE BENNETTS SUPPLIED CLOSEKNIT??

PORTER YOU BEAUTIFUL BASTARD THANK YOOU FOR THE LORE DROP. 

Wait wait we’re doing it now? OH GOD WE’RE GONNA INVESTIGATE NOW AT THE SUMMIT.

Sam said a lot of things..

WAIT NO ONE ELSE BUT DAVID KNOWS WHAT MILO DID?? Even after 2 years??

No Sweetheart think abt this please what if ya get caught.

GO BETA GO BETA FUCK IT UP WOOAHH (i’m sorry i'm so stressed.)

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You should’ve punched her Sam, you should’ve.

Sam and Darlin’ needed better taste in vamps ffs 

Sam therapy time 😇🥳 (as required in every Sam video)

YES SAM STAND UP FOR YOURSELF 

God Sam and Darlin’ are so fucking sweet URGDHAKDA

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Is Angel stuck talking there or??

Imagine talking to someone for like 15 minutes and come back to find your friends stalking a head of the house. David needs a panadol for the headache coming up.

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OOH ARE WE EAVESDROPPING.

Well nobody wants to join a cult tbh, like that’s so suspicious.

This is a surprisingly civil argument, i was expecting someone getting thrown through a wall

UH OH WE ALMOST GOT CAUGHT??

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WHY ARE THEY FIGHTING WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING

What’s up w the king

HUH HE’S DEAD????? WHEN I SAID I WANTED HIM DEAD I DIDN'T MEAN ACTUALLY DEAD.

TAH’S IT TAHT ITS WAHTD THE FUCK? DID SWEETHEART KILL HIM? DID CHRIS DO IT HOW DID ALEXIS KNOW, IS THAT WHY PORTER PICKED A FIGHT??? TO CREATE A DISTRACTION?? 

So no ice cream?? 💔