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villainsandvictimsalliance · 3 years

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You know that thing with the edgy bad boy who has a cigarette sticking out of his mouth, only it's been censored into a lollipop because geez Japan has entirely different opinions on children's TV to the West?

What if it was a beansprout. Like. You think Mister Edgyman is smoking but no, it's a literal beansprout because he's been bullied into eating healthily but that doesn't mean he can't be dark and edgy while he runs to his nearest objective wHAT DO YOU MEAN IT LOOKS CUTE? WHAT POKEMON? I KNOW IT HAS A LEAF ON IT BUT THAT DOESN'T MAKE ME LOOK LIKE A PANDA-

Or, alternatively, there was no bullying and they're just Like That. Munch munch. Wait, is that a whole bag sticking out of your pocket-

THIS SCREAMS FARMER DABI EVERYWHERE. SO HEAR ME OUT:

Bored Dabi pouting with his beansprout while resting his back on a tree, the leaves casting tiny shadows and points of light on his body. Him wearing a dark overall and a straw hat.

He peacefully rides on a horse in the late afternoon until someone tries to steal from him and no no, what the fuck those bitches think they're doing.

He swears like his life depends on it.

He doesn't suffer from movement sickness when his riding his horse by some weird miracle. Apparently he only gets sick if it's man-made and big enough to be a mortal trap made of metal.

He shoots fire from his finger guns but his aim is shitty, so what he does is try to mark the idiots. And then he calls his friends.

If stupid thieves are not troubling him, he likes to take naps beside the river, talk with his cows and chickens and go visit the man on the center of the town that repairs electronics.

Dabi is good at repairing normal stuff but he's at total lost when it comes to TVs, radios, fridges and that stuff. So Jin Bubaigawara is almost every week on his house repairing old stuff.

JIN LIKES TO IMITATE DABI AND HIS BEANSPROUT BUT DABI GETS ANGRY AKDHBDKD.

Jin also thinks the new boy in town, the Shigaraki Tomura kid that's from the city, is totally in love with that ridiculous beansprout.

Dabi calls it bullshit.

Jin says Dabi is almost blind anyway, so what would he know.

And that's how Jin leaves on his pick-up truck laughing while Dabi goes to talk with his cows.

There's this girl that lives down the road, Toga Himiko, that helps him with the vegetables and fruits. They go to sell those together on the market every Sunday. An old pal of both, a man called Giran, gave them those houses to live in and the money to start their farms, in exchange of a feed every month.

Toga lives with a man that's around Jin's age, Sako Atsuhiro. He likes to parent both Toga and Dabi and they let him because he's more of a peaceful uncle, doing the legal parts of their lives and leaving them to the rural work.

There's the lady that manages the tractor around, called miss Magne, and the local man who runs errands but wants to go to college on the city, Iguchi Shuichi aka Spinner.

And of course there's Shigaraki, that Dabi knows because the boy has delicate skin and it's always taking meds for his allergies. Dabi knows from his weeks of observing him from afar that Shigaraki is the stubborn type. He graduated from college and came to the fields to prove his father or whatever that he could live on his own.

Nah... It's not working.

So you can see Dabi smirking with the beansprout on his lips every time he gets close and rises his eyebrows to offer his help.

Shigaraki tells him to have some manners and eat the beansprout already. Dabi does so and then takes another from his pocket. Shigaraki gets annoyed and they start bickering and bantering like a married couple.

Oh boy but whenever Shigaraki tries to imitate Dabi with his beansprout, the ends up blushing a little. Dabi once caught Shigaraki doing that and felt like he was falling of his horse. Two blushing messes across the festival trying to avoid each other.

Some time after Dabi is watching the stars late at night with Tomura on the barn. He's feeling brave, so he takes one beansprout from his pocket and puts it on Tomura's hand. His hearth is beating from the touch of fingers with fingers and then Tomura, without even looking at him, takes the beansprout to his lips.

Dabi feels like Toga looks when she dreams out loud of secret balls and dancing in golden fields to the rhythm of flutes and violins.

One day, some dudes were picking a fight with Jin. Apparently they were the assholes who wanted to buy the town and build a city complex over there.

They were taller and bulkier, but Dabi did his best to fight them with Jin. One of the guys punched him in the face enough to almost broke down his teeth. He blacked out and woke up on a car. He searched for a beansprout but only found blood. He fainted again.

Later, on the hospital, he was told Tomura and Iguchi were the ones who found them in time to watch Dabi hit the ground, the bloody beansprout beside him.

Apparently Tomura told Iguchi to take Dabi and Jin to the hospital and he stayed behind. No one knows what Tomura did, but the guys disappeared from the town. Tomura got a broken leg and arm, but people rumored he walked down the main road with a sadistic expression afterwards.

Dabi got out the next day. Tomura went to pick him. He got Dabi's hat and the beansprout on his lips, smirking. When Dabi got close enough, he gave him the hat.

But it was Dabi who reach for the beansprout on Tomura's lip, took it and put it on his own lips, fixing his hat over his eyes because the sun was too shiny.

“To this day I don't know which movie you watch that gave you that ridiculous idea”

Dabi slept all the way back home and when he arrived, he invited Tomura in to help him with the meds and all of that.

Dabi cooked, Tomura fixed his fridge.

“It was not a movie.”

“Uh.”

What a situation. He had never watched Tomura sweating so much. His black shirt sticks to his chest and stomach and his jeans were dusty, faded, full of grease. Somehow, the past month Tomura has gotten bigger, with more muscle, his hair growing in length and going cotton white.

“It was not a movie. I have a delicate stomach, this helps me with it.”

Tomura, having finished the fridge, closes the door to find Dabi looking at him with a beer on his hand, blue eyes big and crystal, black hair sticking to his forehead. It's hot and humid on that house, and Dabi's shirt, cut short and transparent, doesn't help. Neither does the jeans he's wearing, but Tomura finds easy to breath and focus when he thinks about the bandages all over that body.

“That's a stupid reason.”

That's the only thing he can say. They laugh, Tomura drinks from his own beer, Dabi guides him to the bathroom for them to clean the cuts and replace the bandages.

It's silent between them, but the world outside comes alive with the sounds of bugs and animals and the wind over the trees and the grass.

At some point, Dabi falls asleep while Tomura is still working, so he needs to carry him to his bed.

And somehow, because Tomura is also tired and Dabi looks soft and his mind screams him to lay down, they end up cuddling 'til the early morning.

And if this was a fanfic, I would title it “The Secret of the Beansprout ”

The end.

...

OKAY SORRY FOR FALLING FOR THE SHIGADABI AGENDA BUT I GOT CARRIED WAY. BYE.

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because-of-a-friend · 4 years

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Dino Married Life

MASTERLIST

Hey everyone! I’m back and doing requests so feel free to send some in! I have a few more after this one, but I was going to go ahead and get this one done since it (almost) completes the married series, the last member of this series was also requested, so it will be finished soon! Thanks for the request anon! I hope you all like it!!!

Chan is going to be any husband you want him to be

Because honestly all that matters to him is being with you and making you happy

So you want to move to the big city in an apartment and live a fun-filled, fast paced life?

He’s already googling apartments for you two to live in

You want to move to the suburbs and settle down and start a family?

He’s already planning out a nursery

You want a rural life on a farm?

Just tell him where he can buy a farmer’s hat

Any kind of life you want, you’ll get it

Chan is ready to do it, if it’s with you

He views your married life as an adventure for the two of you to go on together

He makes the most out of every moment you two have together

Anything you do is made that much better by Chan there because he’s going to do everything he can to make it that way

That being said, he’s a super nervous husband

He doubts himself quite a bit

It’s just because he thinks you deserve the most perfect husband in the world

So he sets really high expectations for himself

So sometimes you gotta remind him that you chose him for a reason and that you’re happy to be with him and he’s always going to be enough for you

And when you do that he just looks at you with these big, sparkling, adoring eyes

Also the type to still be nervous around you even after your married

Like takes walks with you and just stares at your hand and has to hype himself up just to hold it

And is a blushing mess when you kiss him out of nowhere

He seriously adores you

Is also a really great supporter

He always has the best advice for you

Is gonna do whatever he can to help you achieve your goals

Always there to be your shoulder to cry on

Anything that happens, you two are going to work through it together

You really are a team

You’re also both total dorks

You plan couples costumes for Halloween

But not the sexy kind

Definitely like from Star Wars or Marvel or some other nerdy thing

One time he buys y’all matching track suits just for you two to take walks in

You pull them out of the shopping bag and you’re like “Chan...”

But he’s just beaming at you

Guess who’s walking around the neighborhood in matching track suits with their husband?

You!

Speaking of which

You two do go on walks often and like to be outside

So getting a dog is basically common sense

When you two first get the puppy, it takes up all your time bc all either of you want to do is just fawn over the little baby

And then you have the time of your lives training your dog and going on walks with your dog and playing with your dog

Chan probably tries to convince you to get a couple more dogs

(Eventually you two end up fostering a bunch because you love them so much but can’t justify owning twenty dogs like Chan wants lol)

Sometimes you two stay up all night talking about the dumbest possible subjects

But in a way like figuring out which kind of apple is the best is a life or death conversation

The two of you are just kind of always on the same wavelength

Fights aren’t common bc you two view things very similarly

But when they do happen they hardly ever escalate bc the two of you are really good at understanding the other’s perspective and promised to always talk things out and be as honest and open with each other as possible

Like the other boys, keeping up with all of the other members is really important to him

Especially because if you two have kids he wants them to be a part of their lives

Also the other boys’ kids are instant friends for yours

He also just admires and looks up to the other boys for his entire life

Is always happy to get advice from them about married life

And you love being a part of the ever growing Seventeen family, and the boys love having you around and being friends with you

If you two do have kids, Chan will be a very very VERY nervous father

But he adores his kids and does everything he can to make them happy

Kind of how he does for you

Makes their lives adventurous and fun and helps them reach their full potential

Is also just excited to have a bunch of new dance partners lol

Not that anyone could ever compare to you, his best dance partner ;)

(That was so cheesy, I’m so sorry)

But seriously, you can’t even count how many times you were just standing in the kitchen cleaning up

And then you feel arms wrap around your middle from behind

And then you hear Chan humming into your ear as he starts to sway the two of you back and forth

So many nights end with the two of you laughing and spinning around the kitchen floor

Occasionally when the two of you have enough energy it’ll turn into a full on dance party/jam session

But sometimes days end with the two of you arguing over which movie to watch while building blanket forts and throwing popcorn at each other

Sometimes days end with late night adventures in your backyard or local park where you go on “ghost hunts” that turn into both of you being too scared to continued and going to go get fries instead

Some days end with quiet pillow talks, the two of you holding each other close and Chan smiling at you as he strokes your face and any other exposed skin he can find

But no matter how the day ends, the very last thing you’ll hear is “I love you” whispered in your ear from Chan

Because he wants you to know

He’s always going to love you

No matter how many times you call him to ask if he wants pizza tonight bc you accidentally burnt dinner

Even when you get lost on a trip after he warned you not to wonder off

During the times when you keep saying “just a couple more throws” even though you’ve already been outside playing with your dog for hours

Especially when you come home, excited to tell him about your day and bounding straight into his arms

He loves you always

And you love him

Even when he accidentally breaks something and sheepishly comes to tell you about it so you’ll help him clean it up

Even when he forgets to pick up dinner and the two of you and you have to wait an extra hour for delivery

When he sweetly asks you to come along to super long dance practices just because he wants you to be proud of him

Especially when he performs giant acts of romance

The two of you just love each other

Fully and completely

And always

#chan imagines #dino imagines #chan scenarios #dino scenarios #lee chan imagines #lee chan scenarios #seventeen imagines #seventeen reactions #seventeen scenarios #chan fluff #dino fluff #lee chan fluff #chan fic #dino fic #lee chan fic #seventeen fic #seventeen texts #seventeen snaps

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chasseuses · 4 years

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reasons why i love jade leech part 3

I don't know why I'm doing this again I am a big fool goodbye ☠️ but ahhahahwhahjwhsjfhfjfnfkbdsjbdkdbjd im a doormat for him so. haha. I'll just. fukcignvkjgknv everyone pls look away this is the last post i swear 🤩

Part 1, 2

So.... 🤡 Hi I'm back again with another simp post I'm your local Jade simp and I'm here to point out reasons why I'm an absolute doormat for this eel and why I'm staying as one.

I'M FUCKIFNCGD. SCRVEN AMWIANAJWBAJVWKQVWKAGAKAVDKFBYKDGSKEIANSJAMEINSLENDKEBEKSBEKSHEKDJEKSJRKDJRKDHSKDHKEHSKEBSKEJDLDHDKDBDKHRKDBEKSHEKSUSMS

Ok so, URGFKFHDKDUDKSJSKFHDKGDKDHD if you've been here long enough or something i think i posted something about his initial birthday suit up illustration here which i wrote while i was sobbing and being overly emotional over him.

BUT BASICALLY. IT WAS ABOUT HIS SMILE. I MEAN RTHGJKHJGK JADE LEECH..... SMILING.............N N .VJV.JV. WITHOUT ANY ULTERIOR MOTIVES...... IM FUCKFING DEAD YO!!!!!

HEAR ME OUT. I JUST GJVKJGKVNGKV ... dont u think there's just something about someone as shady as jade who looks shady 90% of the time look like he's not shady for the first time ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ

idk if that made sense but yeah.

ALSO IDK IF ANYONE WAS SIMPING HARD ENOUGH TO NOTICE BUT LIKE 😭 IF U COMPARE HIS HANDS TO FLOYD'S THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.

and now if you've known me long enough to know that i am a big fan of his hands, you'll know that i went absolutely crazy over this detail!!!!!! THEY WERE ROUGHER THAN FLOYD'S AND THAT WAS JUSTHGJJGKGKFNKFKGNGKGNFKDDJFKGNGKFJF A DIRECT HIT TO THE GUT WHAT THE FUCK DISPLEX YOU CANT DO THIS TO US 😭😭😭😭😭

do u see the fork he's holding?

yeah

i wanna be that fork so bad

im not even kidding

i legit want to be that fork.

why?

haha.

you dont need to know

ANYWAYS. ONTO THE STORY 🥰

we got a lot of lore for the twins this time around and i am tHRIVING :BIBBEK:

"However, and this is unusual for me, but so many people wishing me ‘Happy birthday’ has made me rather embarrassed." HELP?????????&(&!4(£;#(-__8-##(-_(£+£(£ I II I I I I HUCHJWNWISHEJDHWOHSKWGSKSYAKGSKA HI KAUAKSGKAGSKSGSJAYJAGSJAGAJSYSIGSJGSJSHSJAHsks

Their mother!!! Uses!!! -san!!!! At the end of their names!!!!!!! Which got me going 🧐 that is not usual at all!!!!! wtf is going on in the leech household

a lot of ppl theorized mafia stuff and all of that which honestly makes sense imo and also because i find that hella hot HAHSMDGSKDHKSJS mr leech...... 😳 mafia.... HELPGKFJKGJFKF

wait. won't that mean he's rich.

bonus points eyy /j GFJFHFJDHJFNF

"Well, they do say that married couples take after each other… It’s good that they get along well." MR LEECH YOUR HAND IN MARRIAGE RFNJVJKHKGKGKOGJGKVJKFCKIJGKTJKFFJKDHDKXHFFHFJ

guys im losing it

if that wasn't already obvious RHUFHGUF

HELLO????????? ONE OF THE REASONS WHY HE LIKES TERRARIUMS??1?"!"!'! HELPFKVKV CONTROL IT'S CONTROL

"Whether they live or die is also up to me…" i just think.

no i dont think but you get what i mean why the fuck is that line lowkey hot lmfao something is wrong with me

i dont knwo why the fuck but the fact that he likes unpredictability is also kinda????? lmao how boring was ur life that everything u did went exactly your way 😭 how does that bring u amusement i cant relate gomen mr leech

or am i completely wrong idk 🗿 mr leech tell me more about you onegai

Ok honestly, before the birthday card came out, I thought their earrings were like,,, from their parents or something. like heirlooms!! i thought they were precious in that aspect but what i rlly didn't expect is for them to fckinghgkgngknfkf FIGHT A DAMN STURGEON FOR ITS SCALES 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

deadass why would a sturgeon challenge them anyways 🧐 and the twins were just like, "ok sure but can we have your scales if we win" and they rlly did 😭 just how strong were you guys before middle school wtf!!!!

and they turned the scales into earrings 🧐 which is now what they wear!! p cute

they're apparently popular to use as amulets in the coral sea so i. i fucking rotted over this AHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA hrufhfigjofhckfbcjc should i delve deeper into this? no. but perhaps you can find out what my rot is about just by reading this single bullet

"Floyd and I have gone near beaches on nights with fireworks as well." HELEPEHLEPDFKLEGSLDOSODB EGHFKCNDKMCURLDHLDGSMX

WATCHIFNFG FIREOEKSKF WITHHF JADE AJFNJFVJFHKDHF

ohmigod this is getting way longer than intended 🤡 should i continue

yeah fucj it HFJVHFJHCJFHJCJ everybody pls ignore my rot 😌

as all of you know, jade wears purple eyeliner. that's right.

Purple eyeliner.

Why does this matter, you ask? Oh sweet summer child, it may not matter to you but to me—eyeliner is super fucking hot I kid you not I started crying at night when I thought about this and wrote a mini essay about it like a fool so I'm just going to.

I am legitimately losing my shit over this like-?? Who allowed you to fucking put on eyeliner? You're already deadly without them and more so with them.

It honestly makes me wonder if he puts this on his own or not but seeing how deft he is with his hands, it's not a stretch to assume that he puts it on his own.

And I find that really hot since look at those clean strokes..!! He's better at applying them than me. I have this desire to let him do my makeup but when I think about it I start making incomprehensible noises and bury my face into my pillow. Purple eyeliner just-? Looks so good on him?

It should be illegal at this rate he looks so tempting I hate it. Sometimes I just have this urge to ruin in, I don t care how I just want to smudge it for some reason. Like deadass, I just want you all to appreciate how good his eyes look!

HELP HIS EYESDHFHTKHEKFHDKFHDMFHKDHFKSGDK IM FUCKFINDG LSOING IT

WHY DO I LOVE HIS EYES SO MUCH I DONT FUCKING KNOW I'VE NEVER BEEN A FAN OF CHARACTERS WITH MISMATCHED EYES BUT WITH HIM IM JUSTHGJJFJG KG NVM

His eyes are fucking beautiful, man. 🤡💞 Could stare at them for hours and never get tired!!!!

Need I say more?

BRO IM FUVKGIGNVJKGVKNGKFHFKFFJF HIS TEETH IM CRYIGGN WHAT THE ACTUALLY FUCK I KNEW THEY WERE SHARP BUTJGKVJGKGJFKGJCKFJKCFJKFFHKCJFKGJDOFHKDHFKDHDKDHDJ BARKBARKBARKBARK

I mean what 🗿

guys displex is insane because they literally made jade have two ssrs in a row with banners that were available at the same time do you know how painful that was for me

when jamil bday card dropped all i lost ebg because i panicked over the thought of a jade bday card and started saving!!! and i did!!!! i managed to save up 100 pulls and i was so fucking chill after that but then,

abema stream happened

i was asleep when that happened so when i woke up i had like 283628 pings in discord telling me that he has an ssr for the halloween event and i was just 🗿 yo say sike his bday is soon displex must be joking

haha nope! they were dead serious.

that shit was painful i started crying 🤡 what the fuck because i didn't have enough gems for both ssrs and his halloween card was just absolutely beautiful.

so i went insane and saved 200 copies of the same jade card in attempt to make him come home before pity so i dont have to whale

I mean,

Black nails.

The bandages.

The harness.

The hat is kinda ugly but that's ok.

THE BELTS AT HIS WAISTFJTKDJRKFBFKFHOFHDKDHDKSGDKSHSKXHSKJS

SO I WAS REALLY DESPERATE AHHSHDHFJFGHJFJF THANKFULLY THEY BOTH CAME HOME BEFORE PITY SO TYSM JADE I LOVE U FOR THAT AHAHJAHDJ

oh shit this got long so imma just end this here 🐬 if you read this far, congrats HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

#reasons why i love jade leech #twisted wonderland #twst #twst meme #disney #jade leech #octavinelle #twst jade #twisted wonderland jade #simp post #HELP IM CRYINGJGJFKFK I JUST #I DONT KNOW WHAT CAME OVER ME I JUST HAD THE NEED TO MAKE THIS #🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿 PLEASKEKDKD I JUST LOVE HIM #bRO I #stan jade leech #o shit o fuck 🤡#i just realized what i wrote in this whole post #i am not thirsty i swear

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demetriandelibinaryboyfriends · 3 years

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AIGHT Y’ALL I wasn’t tagged but I’m doing this anyways because f u c k i t

It's the year 2021 and you're obsessed with The Karate Kid. How are you feeling?

Deadasss weird as fuck, my dude. Like...out of all the things I could’ve predicted happening in our lord’s year 2021, it definitely was NOT getting hyperfixated on a hammy gay ship with a punk and a nerd from a goddamn karate soap opera. And yet...here we are??? I will never understand hyperfixations, my guy. But I’ve met a lot of really cool people in this fandom, so I can’t really complain.

Did you grow up with TKK or are you new to the series?

I have never seen a single Karate Kid movie in my entire life. When I was a kid, it looked kinda dumb so I never got into it XD But then I saw my roommate watching Cobra Kai on Youtube Red one day (he has every streaming service known to man) and I was hooked. And...here I am!

We gotta do the basics. Favorite character:

Literally EVERYONE except for Kreese, Yasmine, Kyler, and Tory, sorry stans

Okay but if we gotta pick, Johnny Lawrence is my Problematic Fave. Also I love my boy Daniel, he’s trying his best!!! And Amanda LaRusso, we stan a queen!!!

Among the kids, definitely Miguel, with Demetri as a close second. I also love Sam, Aisha, Moon, and Hawk (pre- and post-Bastardization Arc, anyways XD)!

Favorite ship:

Take a look at my username and take a WILD FUCKING GUESS lmao Yes it’s Eli/Demetri because DUH, every interaction they have is so fucking gay and Eli fucking saved him!!! And came back to him!!! And betrayed the world’s most terrifying dojo with a WAR CRIMINAL SENSEI all for Demetri!!! And how Demetri was willing to forgive him for everything at the drop of a hat because he always had faith there was still good in his best friend??? That’s TRUE LOVE motherfuckers. Please let them kiss in Season 4. I will sell you all of my limbs. Sam/Miguel is a close second because they’re cute as shit and it’s just so lovely to see two people so unapologetically smitten with each other. They are in LOVE, and I will RIOT if they break up again!!! Keep Sam and Miguel together 2k21!!!

Underrated character:

SAMANTHA LARUSSO!!! The amount of hate my girl gets for acting like a normal teenager and fucking up occasionally JUST like the rest of the cast makes me want to start punching things. She cares SO MUCH about her friends!!! And she loves the shit out of Miguel!!! She hasn’t always been the best friend but you know what??? Neither has Hawk, and we still forgave his ass!!! Also LET HER BE FEMININE but also kick utter ass, my god!!! Femininity should not be synonymous with being weak, y’all! ALSO DEMETRI, like yes, he likes to complain and occasionally run his mouth, but guess what else he likes to do??? Never give up on the love of his life his best friend Eli Moskowitz and refuse to lose faith in him no matter how much of a little shit he’s become, and I for one think that’s very badass of him. Also the way he takes care of Eli pre-Cobra Kai in his own snarky bastard way makes me absolutely Weak and needs more appreciation. Like the dude has charisma and COULD have probably made other friends and left Eli behind if he wanted, but did he??? No, he wants the weepy loser with the lip scar in the polo shirts and dorky sweaters and will protect him as much as his wimpy ass is able!!!

Underrated ship (don’t say therapy, lol):

Among the adults, Daniel/Amanda!!! Like maybe I just don’t watch that much tv, but it seems kinda rare to me to see a happily married hetero couple, and it’s just nice to see a married couple who genuinely love each other and where there’s not like...lingering resentment or some shit. I feel like this ship gets overshadowed by Lawrusso a lot (which like--okay, fair!!! Daniel and Johnny do have a ridiculous amount of chemistry, and the gay undertones are undeniable, so I get it), and it makes me kinda sad. I do love Lawrusso, but I don’t like when Amanda has to get her heart broke for it to happen, you feel? Among the kids, honestly YasMoon. Like I really love the idea of Yasmine trying to better herself because of Moon’s influence on her and because Moon like...inspires her to be a better person, I guess? With their pretty strong friendship, it just makes more sense to me for Yasmine to get a redemption arc through Moon than through Demetri. ALSO girls DO often pull the whole “mean girl” shtick to cover up being closeted lesbians, and Moon IS canonically bi, so it could work!!! I just think this one could be a really interesting Friends to Lovers take, and could make a really nice coming-out arc for Yas. And MoonPiper too, honestly!!! Like they only got 5 seconds of screentime so I understand WHY it’s underrated, but I still love what we DID get and loved that there was a canon gay ship (even if only for 1 scene lmao). I’m really excited to potentially see more of them in Season 4!!! Please, I’m begging!!!

Wax On, Wax Off or Sweep the Leg?

Sweep the Leg because it will always be deeply hilarious to me how Demetri took note of the first move Eli ever used on him and spent presumably weeks perfecting it OUT OF SPITE just to get him back with it at the soccer game MONTHS later. Just goes to show how OBSESSED Demetri is with Eli and their little karate rivalry which is just NOT straight, I’m sorry

Which of Daniel’s dumb little outfits is your favorite?

There’s something so funny about this pretentious little fuck walking around in fancy suits once he becomes a #SuccessfulBusinessman, and still occasionally trying to do karate in a full-ass suit (take THAT, Tom Cole’s boba!!!) I’m also a big fan of how he looks in his gi with his little headband. Still killing that look as a 40-50-something!!!

Character from the films you most want to return, who’s not Terry Silver:

Tbh I have still never seen a single Karate Kid movie (they took them off of Netflix, RIP), so...I don’t really care if they bring anyone else back??? I’m invested in the characters we already have in the show, I don’t need some rando from the movies to make a cameo to have a good time XD The only character I really wanted them to bring back was Ali, and they already did, so like...I’m good??? That’s all I really needed, I can die in peace now XD

Scene that lives in your head rent-free:

Basically any fluffy Elimetri scene, but 5 in particular: ~Miguel first meeting Eli and Demetri at the lunch table, and Eli looking at Demetri like he hung every goddamn star in the sky ~Demetri going off at a terrifying, “unhinged” karate sensei on the first day of Cobra Kai because he made fun of Eli’s lip and Demetri is not about that shit ~ELI STEALING DEMETRI’S NACHO AND SMIRKING AT HIM, LIKE EXCUSE ME SIR PLEASE BE A LITTLE LESS HOMOSEXUAL IN FRONT OF YOUR GIRLFRIEND ~Eli yanking Demetri onstage during Valley Fest to hold a board, and Demetri being visibly like...extremely turned on when Eli breaks said board ~ELI SAVING DEMETRI DURING THE CHRISTMAS FIGHT, ELI APOLOGIZING, DEMETRI AND ELI KICKING COBRA ASS TOGETHER AKSBDCUWYVCBU

Will Anthony LaRusso ever be relevant?

I hope not! He’s kind of a funny meme character to pop up now and again but I don’t think he deserves a serious plotline when there are so many more interesting characters to follow.

You live in The Valley and are forced into the karate gang war. Which dojo do you join?

Miyagi-Do because Cobra Kai would eat me alive. Also I’d probably straight up get stuck and die in that cement mixer, if I even made it that far XD Besides, being salty that your friend who you have a crush on likes martial arts better than you and starting martial arts to impress them but also being too lazy to join anything TOO intense is a Big Mood and I am certainly not speaking from personal experience here, no sirree

What’s your training montage song?

"Shut Up and Drive” by Rihanna for a weight-training and bicep-flexing montage, “Whatever It Takes” by Imagine Dragons for a more intense punching-and-kicking-shit montage. I don’t know why this is, I just feel it in my heart.

It’s the crossover event of the century! Which TV show are you combining with Cobra Kai for an hour-long Saturday night special?

*Briefly panics because I don’t actually watch that much TV and most of the stuff I do watch is fantasy/sci fi shit that absolutely would not work for a CK crossover*

Hmmmm okay but ACTUALLY

You know what would be fucking funny as hell would be an It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia crossover. Allow me to elaborate: ~The Gang goes to LA on vacation during the height of the Karate Dojo Wars. They literally can get barely anything done without all these goddamn karate-fighting teenagers getting in the way. ~They are all very annoyed by this. Even the most obscure of tourist attractions is eventually intercepted by karate fights. ~Mac tries to join Cobra Kai because he sees all this karate fighting on, and wants to unquestionably prove both his badassery and masculinity. Both Johnny and Kreese are like “Wtf are you doing here? Aren’t you like 30?” ~Mac gets a planet-sized crush on Johnny after all of 5 minutes and endlessly gushes to the gang about him. The gang mercilessly roast him about this and about how much of a pathetic loser with his life together in no way whatsoever Johnny sounds like. They proceed to have exactly 0 self awareness about this. ~The Waitress is in town visiting family or something, and Charlie is stalking her, as per usual. However, every time he’s about to go up and talk to her, a pack of battling Miyagi-Dos and Cobra Kais throwing punches and kicks everywhere blocks his path. One times, Mac is among one of these packs and Charlie is like “???? He didn’t get kicked out of that teen karate dojo yet???” ~Seeing how much the Kids These Days seem to like fighting, Charlie drops by a local high school to try and sell Fight Milk to the kids doing karate. Only Kyler and Brucks buy into it, and subsequently get the entire West Valley High wrestling team sick. Charlie is inevitably arrested, as Counselor Blatt thinks he’s selling the kids drugs. ~Dennis makes a plan to have sex with every hot chick he can in Los Angeles. He meets Ali on a dating app post-divorce, and inevitably tries to bang her. It doesn’t work. ~Frank crashes the rental car, and inevitably the gang ends up at one of Daniel’s dealerships. Dee quickly takes a liking to Daniel and is like “Watch, assholes--Imma homewreck this guy’s marriage.” She starts frequenting the dealerships to attempt to flirt with Daniel, until one day she walks in on him having sex with Johnny in a back room and she’s like “Is that the guy from Mac’s goddamn dojo?!?!” ~Dennis, of course, tries to sleep with Amanda. Amanda is not having it, and rebukes him in the most snarky, Amanda-esque way possible. Dennis is just like “Oh not AGAIN--the women in this goddamn diva city have too high of standards!” ~Later on, the gang is at the beach and Dennis spots the blonde lady he went out on an ill-fate date with, and decides to give it another shot--that is, until he sees her go up and kiss another woman and he’s like “IS THAT THE LADY FROM THE CAR DEALERSHIP??? STUPID-KARATE-KICK-COMMERCIAL’S WIFE?!? YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME.” ~Dee complains to Dennis about her lack of luck getting laid, and Dennis is just like “Oh come ON, is everyone in Los Angeles gay???” Smash cut to Hawk and Demetri having sex, Moon and Piper making out, Bert and Nate holding hands, Chris and Mitch doing oral, and Amanda, Ali, and Carmen having a threesome. ~Frank tries to scam Kreese into buying cheaply-made karate equipment for his dojo. The gang ends up having to leave LA because Kreese is quite literally plotting all of their murders.

For tagging, uuuuhhhhhh @jackonthelongwalk @soe-leo @max-eagle-fang @cc-tinslebee @backawayfromthegay @asphodel-storm do the thing, if y’all haven’t yet!

#cobra kai #cobra kai season 1 #cobra kai season 2 #cobra kai season 3 #ck #tag game #binary boyfriends #daniel larusso #johnny lawrence #it's always sunny in philadelphia #iasip

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papermoonloveslucy · 3 years

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INDOMINATABLE LIFESTYLE

July 16, 1972

HOLLYWOOD - Indomitable funny girl Lucille Ball, with a messy scoop hair the color of an orange popsicle, flashes on the scene in a sad predicament.

She's got a lame leg.

Lucy hobbled from her sleek silver Rolls Royce and into the yellow cubbyhole dressing room which is a sunny retreat near the Lucy set which Is crawling with rehearsal activity.

On the surface, everything's ha-ha-ha. But the fact is that surgeons have inserted pins into the shattered leg bone suffered last year in a Snowmass Peak, Colo., skiing accident. The leg brace is a semi-intolerable ball and chain. But, as always, crippling situations must be mastered. Lucy's inextinguishable spirit pulsates despite the physical handicap.

Lucy Is showing a smiling color photograph of herself in a flowing white hooded cape coat rimmed in fluffy fox. The picture, radiating exterior happiness, doesn't reflect the inner pain. Lucy's leg, in a hip cast, is disguised under a blanket.

You know the familiar Lucy grin? She's grinning it and saying hell no, baby, she's not ever going to ski again. She couldn't stomach another goddam ordeal like that. Besides, on the immediate horizon is an operation to remove the pins.

Lucy, being Lucy, bears the cross with humor: "Honey," she says, "skiing is just getting into those nice winter clothes and being a show off." The burdensome subject of broken bones is dismissed with frivolity.

Brainy Lucy, now 60 and president of a $30 million corporation, is an American institution.

But, like all super-successful females, she vibrates complex contradictions. The fashion plate - who initiated her career as a Hattie Carnegie hat model - is a winsome dumb broad on the tube. In reality she's tough executive who barks orders left and right. Staffers instantly do like the lady says. God has spoken. Lucy runs a tight ship, but she is more respected than feared.

Yet Lucy is softie with a heart of spun sugar. Trappings, which she has in predictable abundance, aren't a psychic crutch.

"Success is knowing that if everything were wiped away tomorrow, it wouldn't really matter. I wouldn't die if I lost my things," she says. Then the awesome simplicity: "Dear, I still go home and let the cat out"

Lucy has always run her home life with a liberal hand.

Desi Arnaz, Jr. is currently Involved in well-publicized liaison with Liza Minnelli. There was a previous Desi scandal regarding Patty Duke. People gossip a lot here because they live in a city where the major industry is make-believe and fact and fiction become blurred.

Lucy isn't deaf to the talk about her son's romances:

"What the hell, they're having a fine spree. I just hope it lasts for Desi and Liza. They don't have time to get married. Their scene is the world and they're swinging in there. I'm the one who talked marriage to them. One night I said: Look, kids, don't get married too soon. They were upset. Desi countered with the observation that you don't have to settle down when you get married. So I go - well, that's true son! The subject of marriage just never came up again. They're a nice couple. They present themselves well without becoming asses. I've told the kids to do as they wish."

Lucy, who was a good friend to Judy Garland, makes no bones about her affection for Liza. And once Lucy loves, the feeling lasts. After 20 years of marriage to Desi Arnaz, there was the divorce. Still Lucy looks people straight in the eyes and says the present Mrs. Desi Arnaz is a "wonderful woman." And she can see it in her heart to rent ex-husband Desi studio space on her lot so that he can work in the shadow of a success they initiated together.

When Liza Minnelli was a child, Lucy kept a scrapbook of Liza's activities at play, in ballet school, attending birthday parties. There, in a battered old photo album, are the precious pictures. Liza didn't know about the book until recently. Desi brought Liza home and Lucy accidentally-on-purpose left the book on a coffee table. "Oh! Wow!" exclaimed Liza through a flow of uncontrollable tears.

Lucy; "And I said to Liza, honey-baby, I told you I've known you for a long time. Didn't you believe me?" Lucille Ball speaks in an affectionate aside about Liza and the loyalty is simultaneously visible and audible:

"That kid is liable to explode any minute. I just hope I'm around to pick up the pieces. No one knows why she works so hard. She's made it her objective to clear her mother financially. Those b--- lawyers took her --- really took her. But she's paying back every damn cent herself."

Life is, of course, an inexplicable mixture of tears and laughter. Buoyant Lucy can see the funnies in everything. Love, she says, is looking beyond someone's minor faults and caring passionately despite the irritations. Lucy's 80-year-old mom, Dede (Desiree Ball) lives near Lucy's sprawling colonial house in Beverly Hills. Dede has a longstanding idiosyncrasy which used to drive Lucy wild but is now an amusement.

In that familiar screechy scratchy soprano voice oozing feigned stupidity, Lucy sing-songs the dialogue;

"I say to Dede: Hey Dede, I've got a pain in my elbow. Dede always says: 'stupid, it's because you're not eating right!" Honest to God, if you've got a pain in your big toe, it's not because someone stepped on it it's the food. Drives you nuts! Dede really has a thing about food. The other day I went home and cooked a batch of chicken. 'Chicken!!" says Dede, 'you know it's gonna make me sick.' Of course Dede eats more chicken than anybody. Next day I say: Dede you been up all night throwin', huh? Naw," says Dede, the chicken wasn't half bad.'"

The ridiculous story illustrates two things Dede taught Lucy early in life. One: That without good health you've got nothing. Two; That without a non-pliant, thoroughly independent attitude, you've got less than nothing because show business kills the weak.

Lucy is in constant awe of Dede. When Lucy built the five-story ski chalet 9,800 feet on the side of a Colorado mountain she was certain Dede couldn't take either the long trip or the altitude. Besides, once you get to Lucy's place, there are a million icy steps to climb before you make the front door. "Even the dogs stop to get their breath," says Lucy. "But when I start huffing, Dede looks over her shoulder and sorta snaps: Aw, Lucy, you're a sissy!' That woman is my challenge."

Does Lucy ever get down? Do the burdens of crushing disappointments halt her enthusiasm even temporarily? "Jesus," she says, "I cry. I cry a lot. Then anger sets in. When I'm angry, I become a fighter. And I always fight to win."

When Lucy talks to you, she taps your knee in a natural gesture of intimacy. Her gaze is through black fringed x-ray eyes that sear through trivia. She smokes her cigarette twirled ceremoniously between her thumb and forefinger. Lucy always spews gut honesty:

"Love is a great peace of mind. There's no panic in the relationship. It's never having to prove yourself. Love is not playing games. Baby, some women have to put up with mysterious absenteeism. That's always a sign of hanky panky-ism. Christ, I never have to worry where Gary is."

Gary is Gary Morton, Lucy's husband and executive producer. Suddenly he bursts into the dressing room and asks for the afternoon off. Lucy's going to work the full day. Her answer is affirmative, but she doesn't use the word "yes"; "Just don't forget to tell the cook to get out the steaks and have a big salad ready."

The show is all in the family. Lucy's sister, Cleo Smith, is another producer. Lucy is having the talk-about twosome of Desi Jr. and Liza written into a script. Little Lucy, who has been Mrs. Phil Vandervort for a year, is a regular. She, too, bursts into the dressing room to use the john. The jeans are already embarrassingly unzipped. As she whizzes by she comments only to her famous mama: "Jeez, I though you were alone!"

But an emergency is an emergency. Lucy, quick to seize the humor, quips: "Our togetherness is only occasionally splintered."

In retrospect, Lucy is pleased with her real-life mother role. "I've been one hell of a mom," she says. "I always knew where they were every minute." Lucille Ball is a profound woman who often uses great simplicities to get her points across.

Once, when the kids were small, a nurse observed to Lucy that Little Lucy was calling Desi Jr., "fatso," and jabbing him in the stomach-when no one was looking. Desi didn't hit back because mama had said never to hit defenseless little girls. Lucy relives the old conversation with her daughter, first announcing each "part" and changing voices to portray the back-and-forth swing of conversation:

Big Lucy: "Got a problem, Little Lucy?"

Little Lucy: "Me? No."

Big Lucy: "Let's talk. Whose fault is it? No, actually it doesn't matter whose fault it is. Next time one of you is hurt, I'm going to hit the one who is hurt."

Little Lucy: "What does that mean, ma?"

Big Lucy: "You'll see."

Soon there was another battle. As usual, Little Lucy elbowed Desi in the stomach and he howled, Lucy illogically whacked Desi hard on the rear and his screams got louder. Little Lucy immediately became hysterical: "Mom, don't hit him! For God's sake, why are you hitting HIM?"

Lucy delivered the punch line which is the credo of their life: "I hit Desi because you let things go too far. Never let things go too far. Someone innocent always suffers. Do you understand?"

That was the end of sibling squabbling. Forever.

Once, before her chorus girl days, New York-born Lucy worked as a fashion mannequin for various Seventh Ave. houses. She's still got a clotheshorse figure but she won't splurge on couture: "I'm just one of those normal working women who doesn't go in for hifalutin’ fashion."

Lucy haunts three fabric shops in Beverly Hills and has local movie set seamstresses make all her clothes. "I'm not the type who dresses and goes out," says Lucy who long ago graduated from the silly-but-necessary movie star game of being seen in the right places.

"Once when I was in Paris, I bought a designer dress grey flannel, I think and wore it out from the salon to my car. When I sat down the damn thing was so strictly constructed that the neckline popped up to my nose. I was on my way to Switzerland and I mumbled to my driver, God, did that designer expect me to stand up on the plane?" Lucy can afford emergencies. When she got to Orly, she bought a dress from an airport boutique and changed in the ladies room.

And, so, the sweet saga of Lucy continues, there are no plans to quit. The word - retirement - isn't in her vocabulary. "I can't imagine doing nothing," she says. "If you don't keep moving, you're buried."

The beauty is still there. The complexion is like alabaster. Lucy confesses that she washes her face with Ivory soap, colors her own hair and occasionally gives herself offbeat facials."

"Honey, the idiot who said to put honey on your face never explained that it has to be mixed with cream," she says. The face melts into that wonderful famous grin. "I put honey on straight from the goddamn jar and it closed my pores for a month."

That's lovable Lucy.

[Ed. Note: The original photographs were degraded by copying so similar shots were substituted as close to the originals as possible.]

# # #

#Lucille Ball #Desi Arnaz #Gary Morton #Wildcat #Dede Ball #Lucie Arnaz #Desi Arnaz Jr.#Liza Minnelli

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bluesylveon2 · 4 years

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Levihan Mamma Mia! AU Side Story 2: Mission (Not)Impossible

Author’s Note: This is my gift to everyone reading my story because Feb 22 is my bday! Aruani is the first couple in Sasha’s friend group, so this is before SS1. I hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: This is a Levihan Mamma Mia au. This fanfic is inspired by Mamma Mia which is directed by Phyllida Loyd, written by Catherine Johnson, and uses music from the pop group ABBA. Attack on Titan is a manga/anime series written by Hajime Isayama and published by Kondasha

Characters: Armin, Annie, Hange, Sasha, Eren, Mikasa, Hitch, Marco, Connie, and Ymir

Main Story Here!

“I’m tired of this!” Ymir yells

Mikasa looks up from her book and looks at what movie Ymir was watching. The movie started with a couple who loved each other since childhood but never told the other person. The scene currently playing was when the couple finally confessed after many years.

Mikasa looks at Ymir questioningly “what’s the problem this time, Ymir?”

It was the afternoon on a weekend in Kalokairi. Ymir, Mikasa, and Hitch were having a lazy day, so they decided to hang out in Mikasa and Historia’s house while the other girls were out shopping. The trio was laying around Mikasa’s bed while the sun shines on them. Mikasa was reading a book, Ymir was watching TV, and Hitch was painting her nails.

Ymir pointed to the couple on the TV. “That couple here reminds me of Annie’s not so subtle crush on Armin. Heck, even Armin’s crush is not that subtle either!” Ymir raised her arms in annoyance

Hitch closes the cap on her nail polish and lightly blows on her fingers to speed up the drying process. “Those two will never confess.” She shakes her head disapprovingly “The world could end, and the two will still stay silent.”

Ymir cracks her knuckles “if only there was someone there to knock some sense into them…” She looks over to Hitch and Mikasa glaring at her. Ymir raises her hands up innocently “just kidding” she laughs.

Mikasa closes her book and sets it down on her lap “Those two will confess when the time comes. Hopefully, they don’t run out of time if the world were to suddenly come to an end.”

She looks up to find Ymir staring out the window with a mischievous grin on her face. Mikasa frowns. Ymir grinning like that does not scream good to Mikasa. “What are you planning Ymir?” Mikasa asks suspiciously

“It’s nothing bad, Mikasa. I just want to give Annie and Armin a nudge in the right direction.”

This perks up Hitch’s interest. Hitch claims herself as Annie’s best friend (a title that took a lot of dedication to achieve), and she wants the best for Annie. Hitch noticed how happy Annie was around Armin. She knew Annie would never tell her out loud, but it was obvious how Annie would react if Armin started dating another girl. It took Hitch many tries (plus kicking down a door) to convince Annie to admit how jealous and depressed she was when Armin went on a date with that one girl. Besides, Hitch noticed how Armin would stay behind after school to watch Annie during her MMA practice.

Hitch looks at Ymir. “I’m interested in what you have to say, Ymir.” Hitch smiles “I care about Annie and Armin. I want them to be happy.”

Mikasa was shocked. From the outside, Hitch looks like a selfish person. Mikasa sees Armin is like a brother to her, and here she is witnessing Hitch say she wants to help him get with Annie. Yes, Mikasa also noticed the pining looks they give each other.

Hitch noticed how shocked Mikasa looked. “Don’t give me that look, Mikasa. I can care about my friends too.” Hitch pretends to look offended and rolls her eyes

Mikasa’s face turns red from embarrassment “I didn’t mean it in a bad way! What I was trying to say was-” Mikasa stopped when Hitch raised a hand up in front of her body.

“I know what you were trying to say. I’m not offended” Hitch smirks then laughs. Mikasa is still red from embarrassment.

“Anyways” Ymir stands up in front of Hitch and Mikasa. She spoke to get back to the main topic. “Do you want to hear my brilliant plan? It is 100% foul proof” Ymir puts her hand in fists and puts it on her hip. She has a triumphant look on her face meaning that she is confident with whatever she has planned.

Mikasa and Hitch look at one another and then back at Ymir. They had an unspoken agreement with one another before nodding to Ymir.

“Ok” Hitch moves to make herself comfortable on Mikasa’s bed “What’s your plan?”

---

The plan was simple, and Ymir and Hitch designed it themselves. 1. Ymir and Eren kidnap Armin 2. Send Annie on a goose chase around the island (with the help from Mikasa) 3. Lead the two into the old goat house and have them confess (Connie and Hitch had to close the door)

---

“You’re a really good baker, Annie,” Sasha says as she devours the piece of pie Annie baked. Annie swiped the pan before the last slice was taken. She sets it aside on the counter on the other side of the kitchen out of Sasha’s reach.

Sasha and Annie were in Hotel Hange eating some pie Annie baked. Annie asked Hange if she could use her kitchen, and Hange gave her permission. Annie wanted to bake in peace, but the smell must have attracted Sasha out of her room. This confused Annie because Sasha is usually out, but most of their friends in their group were mysteriously busy today. The only ones who weren’t on the island are Historia, Jean, Hanami, and Marlow. They went to the mainland to run some errands for Hange.

“Hey, I was gonna eat that!” Sasha exclaims and raises her hands trying to reach for the last slice of pie.

“It’s not for you Sasha.” Annie reprimands and moves the pie out of the way when Sasha attempted to grab it. Sasha eventually stops.

“So you’re saving it for someone then? Is it one of the girls?” Sasha asks and tilts her head. She looks at Annie who is still quiet and unmoving. Sasha had a feeling who it could be for and smirks

“Unless you’re saving it for Armin? I’m sure he will love your baking” Sasha smiles, and Annie turns red.

“I never specified who it was for! I could be saving this for Eren!” Annie exclaims. Her face is still red.

Sasha laughs “Eren is not a big fan of sweets. You could always give it to me. I’ll make sure Armin gets it.”

“Not a chance!’ Annie sets the pie down in a small box she had out “Go find and marry another guy who is willing to make you a pie.”

Sasha laughs again “So you thought about marrying Armin now, huh?” she says teasingly.

Now Annie was short-circuiting “That’s not what I meant! I-”

“Annie!”

Annie was interrupted by Mikasa who barged through the door. Luckily, she didn’t use too much force, or she would have broken the door off its hinges.

“Mikasa! What brings you here?” Sasha walks away from Annie and goes towards Mikasa

Mikasa ignores Sasha and looks at Annie “I need your help. Armin’s been kidnapped!”

A silence fills the room as Annie processes what Mikasa said. Armin should have been heading back to Eren’s house (as he usually does on his free days) so Annie could give him the pie. Now he got kidnapped? On this tiny island!

“What?!”

---

30 minutes earlier

Armin was reading one of his favorite books alone near the beach. It was a free day for him, and he likes to spend it reading near the ocean. Armin cannot explain it, but he finds the ocean comforting. Sometimes, he likes to bring back seashells he finds and gives them to his friends.

Armin puts his hand in the pocket of his shorts. He found a conch shell earlier that he wanted to give to Annie. It had a bluish tint and it is roughly the size of his palm. Armin smiled and lightly blushed after touching the shell. He’s sure Annie would love it. She is his crush after all.

Armin goes back to reading until his vision goes dark. He dropped the book as he felt the perpetrator tie something in the back of his head.

Someone blindfolded him Armin suspected.

Armin drops his book and was ready to fight back, but he felt someone grab his arms and tie them behind his back. Meanwhile, another person tied his legs together on his calves. Armin was ready to yell for help, but someone put a cloth between his teeth so he couldn’t talk.

So the perpetrator has a partner Armin suspected with how fast they were able to tie him up.

Armin was ready to thrash around until he felt one of his kidnappers go near him. He could feel their breath near his ear.

“Don’t worry Armin” Eren says near Armin’s ear “Ymir and I are not gonna hurt you. This is all according to plan. You can thank Ymir later.”

Eren?!?!

---

And that’s how Armin found himself in a sack being carried (most likely by Eren) across the island. He suspected Ymir and Eren put him in the sack to avoid suspension with the locals. Who wouldn’t be alarmed by two people running around the island carrying someone who is tied up?

Definitely just another day in Kalokairi.

Armin was ready to throw up with all the movement. This is not how he wanted this day to go. Luckily, he managed to keep Annie’s shell safe in his pocket.

Armin decided to focus on his hearing since his vision is temporarily impaired. He might as well using his hearing to an advantage. All of his other senses are heightened after the loss of one. He focused on the wind, Eren’s panting, and the sound of their running. Armin focused again to hear another sound. It sounded more like a shout, and it was getting louder the closer it got.

“Armin!” Annie yelled

Great Armin thought. If only his day could get any more embarrassing than he already has

---

Annie, Marco, and Mikasa were running across the island chasing after Armin’s kidnappers. Annie could tell from looking one was a male and the other was a female. She couldn’t identify who they were since they both wore shades to cover their eyes and hats on their heads.

They have been running in a full circle around the island, but Annie was not ready to give up. She felt confident that she, Mikasa, and Marco could get Armin back together. However, Annie had a suspicion something was not adding up. It felt as if Mikasa was not running as fast as she usually would.

“Annie, Let’s split up!” Mikasa yells as they run. Annie could only turn to her and give her are you serious look.

“Look, if we separate then we can get Armin faster. Divide and conquer!” Marco yells, He had a point there Annie thought before nodding her head. The kidnappers plus Armin were not heading towards Hotel Hange. There’s a chance someone would catch Armin assuming Sasha, Hange, or Moblit are there.

The group split off, and Annie felt a surge of adrenaline run through her body. She was determined to save Armin no matter what.

---

“Shit, she’s catching up,” Eren says after turning around and finding Annie on their trail. They were almost at the goat house. Ymir and Eren just had to climb up the steps near the cliff first.

“Speed up! We’re almost there!” Ymir calls back as they start heading up the steps.

The two were almost there, but luck was not on their side.

It was like slow motion for everyone watching. Eren stumbled and fell backward on the steps. Ymir looked back in horror as Eren fell and dropped Armin with him. Eren was lucky because he could stop himself from hurting himself more. Armin was not as lucky since he was unaware of what was going on. Annie, who finally made it, ran up the steps to catch Armin, but Armin still managed to hurt himself. Luckily, he didn’t fall off the cliff, and Eren fell from the first few steps. Instead. Armin only hurt his legs.

---

Hange was nice enough to give Armin a free room to recover. She reprimanded the others for endangering Armin. To be honest, she thought the sack was unnecessary. Armin was resting in a vacant hotel room while Hange sat next to Armin to tend to him.

Hange placed the Ice pack on Armin’s bandaged legs and turned to Annie, who was leaning against a wall watching her “Thank goodness you were there to catch Armin, Annie. He would have injured himself if you weren’t there.”

She chuckles “I’m surprised Armin broke his legs though. Must have been from the way he fell” Hange added.

“Well, I have a hotel to run now. I’ll leave the rest to you, Annie, unless you have to go? I can get Moblit or Sasha to replace you.”

Annie shook her head. “I got it. Thank you Hange.”

Hange smiled and stood up to leave the room. Annie left her spot against the wall and walked towards Hange’s previous spot. She sat down and leaned forward to move some of Armin’s hair away from his forehead. Annie then places the back of her palm on Armin’s forehead. No fever she thought and leaned back against the chair. She watches Armin quietly.

“I feel like I’m tending to my husband,” Annie says absentmindedly. It’s not like Armin would hear her anyway.

So you thought about marrying Armin now, huh? Sasha’s voice plays in Annie’s mind.

Annie froze. Her, marrying Armin? Changing her last name to Arlet? Annie scoffs and crosses her arms.

‘Only in her dreams,’ she thought bitterly.

Annie looks at Armin’s figure. Someday, Armin would leave Kalokairi to see more of the ocean. Probably study to become a marine biologist or something ocean-related. Armin is most likely to meet a girl who is more fun and cheerful than her.

“Maybe that’s why Ymir and Hitch came up with this ridiculous plan? Use it as motivation for me to confess to him.”

Annie laughs quietly to herself “Look at how that turned out.”

Annie moves to get Sasha or Moblit to help out before she heads home. She can confess tomorrow.

As Annie stood, a gentle hand grasped Annie’s wrist causing Annie to stop. She knew it can only be one person: Armin.

Armin catches Annie off guard when he gently pulls Annie towards his side of the bed. Annie was fast enough to land without hitting Armin’s injured legs. Armin wraps his other arm around Annie and hugs her. She looks up at his red face, and Armin starts blushing too. He must have been awake to hear Annie talking to herself.

Now Annie wants to bang her head against the wall. Not once but multiple times.

“When did you wake up?” Annie asks shocked

“After Hange closed the door. I heard what you said Annie, and I know about your feelings for me.”

Annie turns red, and she stays quiet. She just had to say some of her thought out loud.

Armin took her quietness as a sign to continue. He looks into her ice-blue eyes “I actually had a crush on you since you came on the island. I remember thinking about how cool and talented you were after I saw you toss Eren in high school. I know despite your cold exterior, I know you are actually a good person.”

Armin smiles “I know how much you care about people like Hitch, Sasha, and even Connie. To be honest, I always stayed behind to watch your practice because I want to see you. I like spending time with you. I like you, Annie. Even after that one time, I walked in on you eating a whole pie by yourself.”

Annie stays quiet. She was not expecting a whole confession out of this.

Armin starts freaking out and lets go of Annie. He raises his hands up in surrender “Please don’t beat me up and ship me to Russia.”

Annie stays quiet again to process what Armin just said. She laughs and puts her arms around Armin this time. She puts her forehead against his

“Thank you, Armin. For sticking around.” She looks into his ocean blue eyes “You already know I like you. I like how you care about your friends and your intelligence. I also like your fascination with the ocean. Someday-”

Annie stops for a bit before continuing “-I want to see the ocean with you. What I’m trying to say is, do you want to be my boyfriend?”

Armin couldn’t stop grinning like an idiot. His crush is confessing to him although this was not how he wanted it to go. Oh well. Life is unpredictable.

“Of course, Annie” Armin leans back from Annie and takes an arm away from her. He reaches into his pocket to pull out the shell. He got lucky the shell did not break. He grabs Annie’s hand, opens her palm, and places the shell in her hand.

“This is for you, Annie. I meant to give it to you earlier, but then I got kidnapped” Armin chuckles.

“You can use this shell as my promise to you. I promise to bring you with me when I explore the ocean.”

Annie’s heart fluttered. ‘Why is Armin so cute’ she thought and had an idea.

Annie pulls her right hand towards her. She uses her left hand to take out the ring on her index finger. She grabs Armin’s hand and places her ring in his palm.

“Is that?” Armin asks

“Yes,” Annie states. “This is my promise to you. I’ll go with you to see the ocean one day.”

Armin puts the ring on his right ring finger and looks down at Annie. He places a hand on her cheek and doesn’t move just in case Annie decides to back out.

“Can I kiss you?” He asks. Annie nods

Armin leans forward to kiss Annie on the lips. Both of them wanted to stay in their little bubble kissing and cuddling (without injuring Armin more). Sadly they were interrupted.

“Finally!” Annie’s girl friends squeal simultaneously behind the door

At least Ymir and Hitch’s plan somehow worked. Not in the way they intended, but it worked.

#Aruani #armin x annie #levihan mamma mia!

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slashingdisneypasta · 4 years

Text

Sheriff Hoyt / Charlie Hewitt x Reader || Oneshot

Title: Twenty Years Separated and Getting Divorced

Notes:

This is inspired by Sweet Home Alabama, with Reese Witherspoon and Josh Lucas.

Plot: After 20 years you finally come back to the town you grew up in, which is now basically non-existent except for a couple ghost buildings and wild cows to find your husband and his family, who are the only ones crazy enough to still live there, and get your fucking divorce finalised.

Warnings: Swearing, divorce?

~~~

Hoyt sees me strolling up to the house before I even reach the porch. Our eyes meet, a short moment of nostalgia passes quickly- and World War 3 begins.

“Well, hi to you too! Just fabulous to see you, after… half a goddamn century.” Charlie gets up from his seat on the porch and now stands up to 5 feet taller than me… because he’s still on the god forsaken porch and I’m the ground. Goddamn, his ego’s still as big as that ridiculous hat that he’s wearing now. Since when is he sheriff? He didn’t even go to college- I know; I’ve been married to him since we were 18. “Fucking city slicker.”

My jaw falls open. City slicker?? “You know damn well I grew up right here, you two-bit drama queen. And I live in Alice Springs now. Maybe it ain’t your country but it is still butt crack nowhere, you old fucking coot!” After a second, I also say. “And I’m not even 50 years old yet, you asshole!”

“Pft.” He chews on something in his mouth, maybe his cheek, and sets his jaw. “You lived here, what? 20 years ago then? If you wanna get specific about it.” Okay, that’s better, more accurate at least, but I could’ve done without the attitude. “You lived somewhere else more than half your life- don’t go gettin’ excited and acting like you’re a local.”

I mean, going by that logic I’m a fuck-ton more southern then he is- Australia’s as southern as it gets without living in Antarctica. But I digress. We need to get this show on the road.

“I did not come all the way here to argue with you Charlie.” I roll my eyes and sigh deeply, stomping up the porch stairs to meet him at the top, scrunching up my shoulders and feeling slightly sick when he leans over the steps a moment later and spits thick brown shit into the dirt. Why is he always spitting? Why! If he has excess saliva like that, he should go get himself checked out! And if he’s chewing tobacco, then he fucking needs to stop! Restraining myself from saying so though by taking a deep breath as he straightens up again, I instead hold out the A4, manilla yellow envelope that encases our divorce papers - already signed by me, - to him… which he just looks at, of course. Difficult, ancient bastard. “I’ll pay!”

“Is that your way of askin’ for a divorce, honey bear?”

“Why, yes.” I smile, already feeling the relief of cutting ties from this man.

“Then I sweetly decline.” The smile is wiped off my face, and sketched onto his instead. He turns around and goes on into his home, letting the screen door slam shut hard behind him, too, after he gets in.

I sigh in frustration, close to a scream and stand there uselessly for a second before barging in after him and am about to yell for him to get back here, before a rustling sound alerts me to the door on my right and Luda Mae comes out of it. Closing it carefully shut behind her.

Immediately, my mood calms down considerably and I feel a startling, familiar warmth in my chest. The mood Charlie put me in just a second ago all but disappears seeing her. “Luda Mae!”

The moment she realises it’s me, she beams. “Oh, dear. I thought I heard you arguing outside with Hoyt, but I didn’t believe it!”

“Hoyt?” I blink, still smiling but in a confused way. Am I missing something?

“O-oh, I meant Charlie. Sorry, baby.”

After a tight hug we let go and assess each other.

I’m happy to see that she looks healthy. A little sweaty and tired, but she’s always been that way. It’s hard to not be, living here. It’s hot all day, every day - hell, they barely have winter in this part, -, and she’s never really been a summer kind of girl. I suggested to her a couple times that she could move away, but she always said that this is where their family had always lived- and they will always live here. Its where Charlie got it from.

I’m just getting to her eyes, and noticing of course immediately, the sad change in them from the last time I was here and forming a way to ask her if she’s okay when she tucks some grey hair behind her ear and asks me how I am. To be polite of course, I answer. Expecting to ask her the same right after.

“Aw, I’m doing just fine! Trying to get your stubborn son to give me a divorce, but apart from that life’s treating me well. I would love it if you could come visit me sometime in Australia, I have a guest bedroom where I picked the wallpaper and I just know you would love it. Soon as I looked at it, it was so you!” Her eyes brighten at the idea and she’s about to, bashfully decline I’m guessing, but Charlie stomps heavily down the old wooden stairs again like the attention seeking hippopotamus that he is. Has to let everyone know he’s entering. I roll my eyes. “Why don’t you just get a career on the stage, Charlie; They’ll announce your entrance for you. Jee-sus. Save you some time!”

He flashes me an unimpressed and joyless smile, as Luda Mae covers her mouth - not to hide her laughter from her son, but to be polite. She’s classy; I always liked that about her. In fact, I tried to be just like her growing up… I failed, but I still admire the quality on her, - and laughs a bit at my quip. Pride blossoms in my chest and makes me smile wider.

“You keep sweet talking me like that and I’ll never divorce you.”

My smile turns into a scowl and glare. “What do you want from me?”

“Oh, wouldn’t you like to know?” He stops beside Luda and drops the barrel of his shotgun back against his shoulder, like a soldier in Buckingham palace. What does he need that for right now?! “Besides, I’m too expensive for you darlin’.”

“I hate you.” I say slowly, so it gets through his skull and he understands. “And you hate me.” He nods in agreement, still looking far too smug and pleased with himself. “So why can’t we get divorced and never talk again?!” I fail to see a downside!!

“Cuz I like to see your feathers all ruffled.”

“You-“ A slew of insults are about to break free of my lips, but a loud, popping bang comes from the kitchen like something tried to get out, making me look startled from the closed door to the room, to Charlie and Luda Mae. “What was that!?”

“Well… “Charlie looks thoughtful for a second, like he truly doesn’t know what to tell me, before slowly turning his gaze on Luda. “I believe Momma just blew up her pie.”

“Wha- “For half a second, Luda Mae looks like she’s about to slap her son all the way to Tim Buk Tu, before smoothening out her features again and turning back to me. Pasting an honestly believable, bashful smile on her face and speaks in a restrained voice that gives away her displeasure. “Yes. Must have lost track of time.”

Well, clearly that’s a bare faced lie. “Nice try. Charlie can pull off a lie like that, but you cant, Luda. What is it?”

Her smile softens and in two seconds she has smacked Charlie -not enough to hurt. It’s just a warning slap for trying to make her sound like a bad baker when we all here know how great she is, - and takes my arm in hers, guiding me across the hall and into the living room. “Really darling, its nothing. Thomas’ havin’ a bad day. I’m sure he’ll buck right back up though when he sees you! Are you going to stay for dinner?”

Looking behind us, I squint dangerously at Charlie. “If Charlie won’t sign these now, I might not have a choice!” Turning back to Luda, I genuinely smile. “But I would genuinely love to stay and see Thomas and Monty too, and eat your cooking! Thank you for the invitation. Maybe I can help with dinner! I have gotten better since the last time I was here.”

Charlie scoffs at my words, walking in after me and beating us to the chairs. He drops down in a recliner while Luda sits us down on the couch together. “You mean when you broke my oven?” She grins, a cheeky glint in her eye and I sigh, embarrassed.

“Yes… “Giggling, I cover my face a moment before jumping back into the fray. “But I really have gotten better!”

“I’d love to see that dear.” And the great thing is, she really does seem to. She would give any number of chances just to see one of her kids - me included, even if I am just her daughter in law. For now, - succeed. For a moment the room is just silent, and I let myself remember what it was like to be here all the time - the good things, I mean. Don’t you worry though, I remember the bad things like fighting tooth and nail with Charlie better the anything, - and how that felt, before Luda claps her hands.

She doesn’t like emotional stuff, Luda. Charlie’s a drama queen, but that’s where the emotion showing stops in this family. Thomas takes after his mother in not being too emotional, ever, and Monty prefers to keep to himself. He always has, and he goes by that philosophy regarding everything. “Well, I’m assuming there’ll be no driving off after dinner- the airport is a solid 4-hour drive! And you will not be driving that long at night.” She sets me with a cold, stern look over her glasses for a moment and even though I’m a 40-year-old woman, I submissively nod to her like a teenager. “You’ll stay in the spare room! Hoyt- Charlie. Sorry. Go change the sheets in there, and I’ll go get Monty to give you company while I start up dinner! Chop chop.”

“Wh- Did you forget she’s here tryin’ t’ divorce me, Momma? I ain’t offering the bitch any pleasantries like that! -“

“You will and you will do it with your mouth shut, Charlie.” Luda Mae gets up to her feet and Charlie and I both crane our necks to see her face. She gets much quieter, and her gaze goes dark like a parents’ does when they’re pissed. “And watch your mouth.”

Charlie bows his head and gets up from his seat, going off to do as she says. “R-Right, momma.”

My grin gets so big it turns into a laugh, leaning back into the couch cushions as I watch Charlie walk off up the stairs, flipping me off when Luda leaves the room.

~~~TIME SKIP~~~

In the middle of the night, I get the bight idea to get the divorce done, immediately. If I don’t, I’ll just let time fly by again with Luda Mae and Monty, and Thomas who’s a grown up now, and I’ll never get it done. It has to be done now.

So I get out of bed, pull on my coat since I didn’t bring my dressing gown, grab the manilla file and a pen and leave the room. It doesn’t take me long to get to Charlie’s, seeing as its just down the hall, and I don’t knock before barging in. I close the door veeeeery slowly, and quietly, then sneak around to his side of the bed and take the shotgun that’s leaning against the bedside table, the handgun that sits on it, and the knife under his pillow- I still know my husband, thank you very much. And I know that if he hears someone in his room at night eh will not think or look, before shooting me in the head.

Dropping all the weapons carefully on the armchair in the corner of the room, no longer trying to be quiet as I sit down on the side of his bed that Charilie is not sleeping on. His eyes burst open at feeling the bed dip, and as he looks over to my form, his hand reaches out to grab the handgun of course, and… he calms down immediately to his cranky, exhausted, middle-of-the-night mess. “Y/N? What the fuck are you doing in here?? This ain’t your room anymore, piss off!”

“I know that, silly!” As he forces himself to sit up and carefully lean his back on the headboard, I hold up the manilla folder. I beam. “Just thought this would be a good time to get our affairs in order!”

“Well,” He takes a gulp from the water on his nightstand. He swallows it like it’s a rock, or a large pill. Is it even water? “You were wrong.”

“Au contrair, mon frair.” I grin, looking around behind me and on the other side of the room for something hard to write on. Ah! Hopping off the bed for a second, I grab a large hardbacked recipe book. “It is the perfect time! You’re sleepy, which makes you 90 percent more likely to be swayed into signing these papers.” I pop the book on his lap, along with the appropriate papers and the pen. “There you go; Now remember, once you sign these, we never have to look at each other’s faces, ever, again. Think about how lovely that’ll be.”

Still with the suspicious liquid at his chin, Charlie slowly raises his eyebrows at me. “Girl, you better get those papers off my lap right now or I’m gonna tear ‘em up.”

“Eep!” Immediately, I snatch them back. Then glare at him as he takes another sip of the drink. “Please.”

“Ain’t no good manners ever made any difference with me.”

I let out a deep sigh, in utter frustration at him.

I turn fully to him, completely comfortable seeing him in his bed shirt and boxers this way- it’s been 20 years and his hair’s going grey, but it still feels natural, fine, to be like this with Charlie. That does not, though, mean that I want to be here. I cross my arms, leaning my shoulder into the headboard. “Why? Why wont you divorce me? Do you hate me that much?”

“No, ‘sweetie’. I love you that much.” I watch him as he sets his jaw, takes yet another sip and glances at me. I gesture for the glass, and he hands it to me.

Taking a gulp as I turn to settle my back against the headboard, I’m pleased to find that the water is not actually water. It’s vodka. Good, I need this after a statement like that from Charlie. “No, you don’t.”

“Don’t try to tell me what I do or don’t know.” Taking the glass back from me when I finish it off, he sets it on the table. I can tell he’s still sleepy, and aching to go back to dreamland, as his words are gentler than usual, and his movements are a struggle. “Bottom line is, Y/N. I’m finally getting everything I every wanted- and I’m not gonna to let you slip through the cracks again.”

“Hard to believe, Charlie. You never tried to contact me during those, oh, 20 years I was gone?” Turning my head, I raise my eyebrows at him.

Groaning from the effort, he turns around in his spot, takes one pillow from behind him and gives it to me. “Yeah, well, I was a bit busy helpin’ Mama raise Tommy. I never stopped thinkin’ a’ you as my wife, though. You’re mine, sugar. Whether you like it right now, or not.”

“What’s this for?” I ask, holding the pillow with a confused look.

“Sleep. Its too damn late for this conversation.” My jaw drops, as Charlie lays back down in his bed and snuggles under the blankets, closing his eyes. “If you sleep here, we can talk about this as soon as we wake up; If you go to your room, you’ll have to wait til’ dinner. Then Mama’ll make you stay another night… I suggest you lay down.” With that, he pats the bed as if as an order, and after a moment of thought I groan. Evil, conniving bastard.

I take off my jacket and lay it at the end of the bed, then get under the covers and lay down my head on the pillow, half annoyed and half ready to sleep- it is late, after all. I am pretty tired. And one more night in bed with Charlie isn’t going to kill me, besides… him still loving me? The news does give me something new to think about. It… it needs to be factored in.

A moment passes where we just lay on the different sides of the bed, him with his eyes closed and probably 2 seconds from entering a hypnogogic state and me unable to get comfortable, before I sigh in frustration again and just decide to try something.

Crossing the space between us without warning, I wrap my arms around his middle in a hug, and press my face the nook between where his throat is and his shoulder, smelling a shock of his scent for the first time in 2 decades and closing my eyes to it, trying to ignore the fast paced beating in my chest.

Goddamnit, it worked. I’m comfortable as fuck now.

Charlie doesn’t comment, thankfully, and just makes a sleepy noise and reciprocates the cuddle, pulling my body closer to him by the waist. My heart beats extra fast at it, but I try to focus on going to sleep.

Cuddling with your soon-to-be ex husband and enjoying it means nothing, right? Haha… hopefully.

#Charlie Hewitt x Reader #Sheriff Hoyt x Reader #Luda Mae Hewitt #Monty Hewitt #Thomas Hewitt #Oneshot #Charlie Hewitt x Reader Oneshot #Sheriff Hoyt x Reader Oneshot

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lavenderek · 4 years

Note

Why do you hate Ian?? When i was a kid I LOVED What A Girl Wants. I had such a crush on Ian :(

i am happy to go off thank you for this opportunity, long post under the cut

in case somebody wants to read this but doesn’t know what “what a girl wants” is, it’s a movie from the early 2000′s starring amanda bynes as Daphne.

she grew up in new york with a single mom, Libby. she has an estranged father played by colin firth, Henry, who doesn’t know daphne exists. libby is a singer who works weddings a lot.

libby and henry were star-crossed lovers, basically. henry is an english aristocrat with political aspirations, and his family believed marrying libby, who is living her stevie nicks fantasy, would damage his career; so they got her alone and convinced her henry changed his mind and didn’t want her. libby left, not yet knowing she was pregnant, and then spent 17 years pining for him.

daphne has spent her whole life romanticizing the idea of her father coming to get her, so after she graduates high school she chooses to fly out to england and surprise him. when she gets there she is disappointed to find that he is engaged to a woman who has a daughter about daphne’s age, but tries to make it work anyway.

daphne is clumsy and very casual, so hijinks ensue. henry’s fiancee and future stepdaughter are evil and conniving.

daphne is rejected and bullied by the fiancee and stepdaughter and she struggles trying to fit in with aristocratic society, so ultimately she leaves. henry is upset about this because he learned to love her, and subsequently he discovers she was being mistreated. he breaks up with the fiancee and flies out to america to surprise daphne. daphne gets into oxford u somehow and they all live happily ever after.

the first person daphne meets and gets to know in the movie is a local musician named Ian, who tells her she was born to stand out. he has minimal effect on the plot, like, i could write him out in two minutes, but god forbid we have a teen movie without a romance in it. they’re immediately attracted to each other and he proceeds to be a very bad boyfriend that the audience is supposed to find morally upstanding and charming.

this post is about how it did not work and i don’t like him.

The Superficial Shit: I’m Not About It

i’m immune to motorcycle boys. motorcycles are impractical and loud. get a muffler. i think if you buy a motorcycle you have to sign a contract promising to idle on your motorcycle for ten minutes every morning at 6:30 so that everyone in the neighborhood knows you have a motorcycle. so i don’t care that ian is A Bad Boy.

i’m also immune to english accents. it’s just like, an accent. it’s fine. i’m supposed to find everything he does inherently charming because he has an accent and he sings, but i don’t, so, try a little harder.

like, i’m also not impressed by sporty types, but i still accepted “a cinderella story” because austin had a character progression and i could see why sam found him attractive.

ian has no character progression. he starts out confident and independent and he ends up confident and independent. he remains happily working class with a more or less successful band the entire movie. nothing daphne does affects him negatively except that one time she fucks up and blows off a concert he wanted to go to.

so as a result i’m not invested in anything he does. the only interesting thing he does is first building up daphne’s confidence and then getting mad and tearing it back down when she’s doing something he doesn’t personally find important, which is the next thing.

The Worst Boyfriend: Why Am I Not The Center Of Your Universe?

here are the first three pieces of information ian learns about daphne:

her mom is a musician

she is american

she is here to find and get to know her politician father, Lord Dashwood

he’s very supportive of this endeavor, right up until it gets difficult. he’s like, “you came all this way, he’s your dad, you should definitely meet him.”

she publicly fucks up a couple major society events and then is like, “hey, i’m putting my dad’s career in jeopardy, so in order to stay and get to know him this summer i’m gonna prioritize these events a little more.”

and ian is immediately like, “you’ve changed,” and dumps her lmfao

her lifelong drive to find and get to know her dad is one of the first things he learns about her. why does he think it’s so stupid? why am i supposed to care about his opinion?

daphne, probably: this thing is important to me. ian, probably: ok, that’s fine. daphne, probably: woof, in order to keep up with this thing i have to try a little harder. ian, probably: hm. actually, this is unimportant. daphne, probably: i’m going to do it anyway. ian, probably: what? didn’t you hear me? i just said it was unimportant. why aren’t you quitting immediately? my opinion should be your primary concern. you know what? i’m done.

i had the same problem with nate from “the devil wears prada.” i will never understand the idea of seeing someone you apparently care deeply about very stressed out trying to accomplish a goal, and being mad that they’re not super fun and interesting right then. sometimes a person you care about is going through something. let her vent and buy her some ice cream.

if your partner stops being supportive and understanding the second your life gets stressful or complicated, that’s kind of a red flag. the real test of a relationship is when you have to support each other and maintain your bond even when you’re trying to get something done, or even when you’re having a rough time and you’re in a bad mood.

ian fails this test because he’s weirdly judgmental about it all.

Attitude Stinks

before the change ian hates, daphne is late to things, she dresses casually for formal events, she gets into a screaming physical altercation with someone at a party, and because she was acting out a lot at a ball she’s blamed for the destruction of a prized, historical piece of architecture. all of these cause scandals that embarrass henry and make him look bad in tabloids. he is in the middle of a campaign for a political position, so this is bad.

after the change, daphne reaches out to her debutante grandmother for guidance and starts wearing socially acceptable clothing, goes to events where she is expected, and is quiet and respectful at an event where she’s supposed to meet the queen of england. this is all very successful for henry. people go up to him and tell him daphne’s great, and she somehow ends up in a tabloid that talks about how great she is lmfao.

all of this takes a lot of effort from daphne, though. she’s stressed out. while this works out for henry, it isn’t working for daphne. she’s doing all this so that she can be accepted by her father’s family, but the fiancee and stepdaughter don’t want her around, and henry is passive throughout all this. he doesn’t know she’s actively being bullied, but he’s also letting his fiancee direct him away from daphne. so daphne ultimately leaves.

here’s where ian comes in. ian tells her a story toward the beginning of the movie about how his mother was also an aristocrat. he tells her she was rejected by society because of classism towards ian’s father. this is framed as a demonstration of ian’s values. the fact that his mother rejected being a debutante is a source of pride for ian.

but the problem is that this is just because ian likes the choice she made. he’s not proud that his mother took control of her life and made her own decision. he’s proud that his mother rebelled. you know this because he sums up the story with this line -

daphne: what happened to your parents? ian: they’re as poor as church mice and the happiest people i know.

- and because his entire conflict in the movie is that daphne makes a different decision.

ian’s mom chose her husband over her parents and the life they wanted for her. daphne is choosing the family she’s been wanting her whole life over a guy she’s known for like, a month. ian is the biggest whiner about it. he storms out on her. she runs into him at an event and asks to talk to him, and he tells her no. he only forgives her when she quits and goes back to america.

there are a lot of dudes like this out there. he loves a strong, unique woman, as long as she fits seamlessly into his life and makes decisions he tells her to. yawn.

Makes No Sense: Why Are You Here?

ian is somehow ubiquitous in debutante society. he and his little band are hired to play at every ball daphne goes to. why??

a huge plot point is a moment where daphne attends a terribly boring coming out ball for a pair of very meek, shy twins. daphne delights the twins by going out of her way to liven up the party. she convinces ian to play loud rock music and encourages everyone at the ball to dance. the bass is too loud, though, and somehow causes an antique chandelier to fall. this is a big scandal.

the whole thing that’s emphasized during this scene is that daphne is shaking up the scene and that this music is unorthodox and unwanted at these high society type functions.

which all begs the question of why these people keep hiring a local rock band for these events. he’s playing at at least one other ball later on in the movie. the music they play doesn’t really fit in with the tone of the events, which are the kind of affairs you’d wear a tiara to. these are very formal events. why are we hiring ian and his band, and where did you guys even find him??

in the scene where daphne gets into a fight with somebody, she’s at a fancy outdoor event, the kind of place you’d wear a tea length dress and a big hat. ian is also there, working in the parking lot as a parking lot guy.

daphne’s thrilled, but she does ask why he’s there. he’s basically like, “i have lots of jobs.” for somebody who hates deb society so much, he does take a lot of jobs at deb events. why don’t you work in a restaurant or something? does that offend your punk rock whiner sensibilities?

also, he’s boring and i think daphne should go for somebody who makes her laugh.

Has Spiked Hair

lots of gel, no other info needed. wash your hair. very sculpted hair makes people seem less down to earth. it’s not relatable.

I Will Fix It

so ian doesn’t help with the plot at all. the only time he helps daphne is in the chandelier scene. the rest of the time he’s just there to date her and talk to her a lot about how cool it is to stand out and not fit in.

his role in the movie is to cause more tension and place more pressure on daphne. he behaves like she’s making a moral choice, when really she’s making a behavioral choice.

i think using him to vocalize her conflict is a mistake because it’s framed as Stand Out vs. Assimilate, when that has nothing to do with daphne’s motivation.

daphne’s Want is to be with her dad, and her Need is to be accepted and wanted. as a result, ian rejecting her because he doesn’t like the choices she’s making comes across as entitled and cruel lmao. it’s directly antithetical to daphne’s journey. she never once says anything about loving standing out.

here are the ways i think this could be fixed:

if you want it to be a moral thing, make it a moral thing.

give ian a best friend who is gay, and after daphne decides to fit in with society, she won’t be seen with the gay friend anymore. or after daphne decides to fit in, have her be super judgmental of people who aren’t succeeding as much as she is. then when she decides she’s fed up, have her stand up for them.

that would make ian being mad about her “changing” make sense. and we, the audience, would be like, “yeah, this is misguided and goes against what daphne believes.”

not breaking things or yelling at a royal event isn’t a moral stance. why are you so pressed. get a hobby

if you want her thing to be standing out, make it standing out.

standing out isn’t a conflict in the whole movie. henry’s flaw is being passive. daphne’s flaw is being embarrassing at parties because she’s clumsy and she likes to meet new people and dance and stuff. libby has no flaw except that she was a victim of classism.

the twins at the party are dowdy and shy, and daphne gives them a makeover off screen lmao. ian is single, and daphne dates him.

so make standing out the recurring issue. make daphne super obsessed with fitting in. in the very beginning, she runs into a girl she knows at a wedding. the girl is kind of privileged and successful, and daphne reveals that she’s a free spirit who doesn’t know what she wants to do with her life. instead, make her hedge and hem and haw and try to make herself seem more successful to the girl. make her Want to be fancy and part of her dad’s high society life, but her Need to “be herself.”

maybe the twins are secretly super weird and quirky, and they’re depressed trying to fit in; and their big moment revealing being cool now at the garden party is them wearing loud patterns and dancing when the music starts playing. maybe ian is super funny and goofy and the parties suck until he and daphne trick the singer into leaving the stage, and ian jumps onstage and plays a fun song.

make libby have been rejected because she always started talking politics at henry’s parties and she’s kind of radical.

maybe daphne: hey, i’m sorry, but you can’t come with me to the party next week anymore. maybe ian: what? how come, i rented a tux for this. maybe daphne: sorry. i’m trying to behave. maybe ian: haha what does that mean? you’re not trying to fit in with all those stuffy losers, are you? maybe daphne: no, i’m trying not to ruin things for my dad. it was a big deal when you were super messy at the garden party. maybe ian: wow. i seem to recall you being “messy” right along with me. sorry for embarrassing you. maybe daphne: ian, don’t take it personally. we can still hang out sometimes, i just can’t go places with you. maybe ian: no, thanks.

i don’t prefer this, because i’m an introvert and people who think someone they don’t personally find interesting are fundamentally worse, are boring and annoying. i wouldn’t find this story relatable or compelling at all. i’m 9000 years old and i’m like, “what if you guys respected each other and participated in society, though?” i wouldn’t enjoy this story. but at least it would make sense why ian’s bothered by daphne not “standing out.”

i think the entire reason this movie was made is that trailer moment from the boat scene where ian’s like, “i don’t understand why you want to fit in, when you were born to stand out!” so that’s how you can keep that dumbass line.

make ian have an arc himself.

in the movie, ian is initially helpful and gives some backstory, and then partway through the movie he gets mad at her and breaks up with her. he forgives her at the same time as henry realizes daphne’s unhappy, right at the end.

instead, make ian become helpful as the movie progresses.

so first of all, take the scene toward the beginning where he’s in the boat allegedly showing her how to practice being poised, and he tells her about his mom being a disowned deb. move this scene to the beginning of the third act.

next, make it so that ian was rejected by his grandparents. maybe ian at some point also defied his mom to seek out estranged family; but where daphne’s dad let her stay, ian’s grandparents insulted him and told him they didn’t want him around. they called him illegitimate and a mistake. so when daphne chooses to try to conform, ian is reacting to those feelings rather than projecting his own feelings of personal superiority.

and finally, make daphne try to fit in much sooner, but make her super bad at it. my roommates and i watched this movie the other night and one of them made the very good point that daphne’s grandmother and father sit her down and are like, “there is a certain way you’re supposed to behave,” but they don’t tell her how to do that.

so let’s actually keep that part. maybe daphne overcorrects. she knows she’s fucking up, so she believes she shouldn’t be doing anything fun or interesting or making conversation with anyone. this isn’t great. her charm is in how friendly, fun-loving, and proactive she is. she does what she wants and people find it refreshing. make people start to be like, “wow, lord dashwood’s daughter is kind of weird and stiff. it’s clear she isn’t used to places like this, what a rube.”

now we get to the third act, and the boat scene. in the boat, ian tells her about his family, and apologizes and offers to try and help her, if this is what she wants. now ian is playing more of an active role, and he’s contributing to her life in a positive way.

because as it is, he does nothing that i couldn’t get rid of very easily. so...

get rid of ian.

here are the effects ian currently has on the plot:

daphne riding away on the back of a motorcycle makes henry worry about her, and he realizes he’s developing paternal feelings toward her. he calls libby and libby affirms and empathizes with those feelings.

ian is in the band at the party where the chandelier is destroyed.

ian talks a lot about how daphne’s supposed to stand out.

ian stresses daphne out, which sort of artificially raises the stakes.

ian shows up right at the end to reward daphne for existing.

especially because ian’s criticisms are so disconnected from daphne’s motivations, nothing he does is particularly helpful to the plot in a way that he couldn’t be replaced.

daphne has a tattoo in the movie, and when henry sees it, he’s sort of like, wow, she’s kind of a wild child, she reminds me of me when i was young. instead of a motorcycle boyfriend, make daphne get the tattoo in london. henry calls libby like, “she just got a tattoo!” and libby is like, “i remember you holding my hand while i got my first tattoo.”

maybe the live band takes a break, and daphne sneaks up and hooks up the speakers to her ipod or something, and she plays super loud music herself.

i already talked about how pointless this is. also, we don’t need a greek chorus telling us what’s going on. show, don’t tell.

daphne is already stressed. those motivations can come from inside daphne.

why would henry seek out daphne’s ex-boyfriend and fly him out to new york to impose on daphne and her mom? this is so weird. go home.

ian is replaceable. to the left, to the left.

#long post #haters #who is this even #Anonymous #talking out of my ass

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bewaretheidesofmarchyall · 4 years

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Dukexiety on Halloween?

Ooh, this sounds cool!

Dukexiety, Halloween

TW: Death, blood, at least one demon

-Let’s start off with the assumption that ghosts can cross to our world on Halloween.

-Enter Virgil and Remus, two young ghosts looking to have some fun.

-A little background information: Virgil was murdered in an unsolved case thirty years ago, and no one knows how Remus died because he has a gorier story every time. They do know that there was a fair amount of blood.

-They’re dating, but a relatively new couple (still, Remus has like 3,573 nicknames for Virgil).

-More background information: Halloween is the time when ghosts can cross over to the land of the living, but it’s not the “ghosts and ghouls running wild” that it used to be in the old times.

There are rules and regulations! Tickets to be purchased, tour groups to join, and gift shops to be set up in the graveyards! I went to the land of the living, and all I got was this lousy engraved lamp.

-Remy is a tour guide. He’s also a demon. He’s also 100% done with the tourism business. His job is to make sure the spirits of the dead stick to their approved areas.

-Remus and Virgil are determined to not stick to their approved areas. Halloween only comes once a year, and it’s their first time haunting the world as a couple! Virgil’s weirdly insistent on not staying with the group. But they’ve been planning for this. They execute their master plan (which also contained a fair amount of blood) and escape from the tour group into the evening.

-Now we have a main plot of Remus and Virgil haunting this small town, and a subplot of Remy trying to Stop Them.

-The couple decides to go make a haunted house more...correctly advertised.

-The haunted house, by the way, is run by the resident troupe of theater kids, led by Roman and Janus. It’s very low budget, but everyone’s trying their best.

-Virgil clouds several rooms in darkness and lets his eyes glow from the corners. Remus tears off his own arms and waves them around. Stuff like that.

-The theater kids are all really freaked out because they’re in charge of the acts and this was not on the list. They’re all ready to abandon the project, when Janus points something out: This is AMAZING for business! The buzz of satisfied customers is spreading down the hills, attracting more people!

Finally, finally, THE DRAMA DEPARTMENT WILL GET FUNDING!!!

-However, Virgil and Remus have gotten a little bored and are ready to move onto the next thing. So off they go, laughing and still trying to reattach Remus’s arms. It’s Virgil’s turn to choose what to do, and one of the things he missed the most about being alive was going to the movies.

-The drive-in is showing Beetlejuice that night, so they go to that.

-Logan runs the local drive-in movie theater. He can see ghosts, and he’s made some payoffs to the demonic higher ups to keep the spirits of the dead out of his business.

-But Virgil and Remus are just teenagers, and they’re being total dorks, and they’re doing that thing where you rest your hand close to the other person and the ever so slowly take it....god, it’s adorable. So, Logan turns a blind eye to it and continues making popcorn, resolving to only kick them out if the bloody one starts making a mess.

-Meanwhile, the theater kids realize that their ghosts are gone, and business is starting to decline again. Janus decides desperate times, desperate measures, and starts summoning.

Roman: Do we really need to make a Faustian bargain to get funding?

Janus: In this economy? Yeah.

-Remy had been hot on the trail of the duo, and almost caught them before they got into the drive-in. However, he feels his form being yanked across town like a worm on a string. He’s been summoned by the theater kids.

-He doesn’t even stop to bargain because this night has been LONG and he needs COFFEE. He just kind of possesses Janus and runs back towards the drive-in.

-It’s towards the end of the movie when Remy gets back, and Virgil’s head is on Remus’s shoulder at this point. Remy’s about to catch them when Logan spots him.

-Logan doesn’t want the spirits of the dead in his drive-in. He paid to have the spirits of the dead not be in his drive-in. There is not going to be a demon in his fucking drive-in.

-He grabs some popcorn salt and smiles. There won’t be one for long.

-Fight scene! In one corner, we have “Remy without his morning caffeine”! He is full of spite! In another, we have Logan! He has worked concessions long enough to know which foods have high salt levels!

-The fight ends in a stalemate when Remy notices that the sounds of “Jump In The Line” have long faded, the credits are over, and the boys have escaped to god knows where else.

He is so fired.

-For the next thing, Remus wants to go classic and haunt a house. A house of someone sweet and a little lonely preferably.

-Patton has just finished giving out candy to the little trick-or-treaters. His house is semi-famous to Halloween candy seekers for the wonderful snacks! He closes the door and decides he’s going to go read something nice.

-Before the duo go in to scare Patton, Remus notices that Virgil seems nervous. He asks him what’s wrong, and Virgil eventually admits that he heard through the underworld grapevine that his little sister, now in her thirties, just had a kid. He really wants to get a glimpse of his niece, but he’s worried that something will go wrong or something will prevent him from getting there or-

He’s just kind of freaked out.

-They go in to scare Patton. Virgil peers with glowing eyes from corners while Remus rattles the furniture. Patton barely reacts.

-Here’s the thing about sweet and a little lonely people: a good deal of them own a lot of cats.

-Patton is immune to eyes in the dark, loud bumps in the night, far away screams, scratches on the walls, blood stains on the carpet, heads rolling across the floors, cold spots, the fireplace suddenly roaring to life, and levitating figures (he has some weird cats).

-Remus and Virgil try more and more ridiculous things to get Patton to pay attention to them, until they’re both (figuratively) dying of laughter.

-MEANWHILE Roman arrives at the drive-in on the verge of tears. He knows that Janus was headed vaguely in this direction. He also knows that Janus is possessed oh god no this wasn’t how this night was supposed to go. Logan finds this teenager wandering around and panicking, and asks him what’s wrong. Roman tells him that that his friend (who he totally doesn’t have feelings for) is possessed and has he seen him?

-Logan has, indeed seen a possessed teenager with a ridiculous bowler hat. He just emptied popcorn salt on his head. Lo agrees to help Roman search and possibly exorcise.

-Back at the house, Virgil is literally levitating Patton and he isn’t noticing. After all, you can never know when you’re being haunted when you have cats as weird as his.

-The doorbell rings. Patton opens it, not noticing the drop to the floor, and expecting a trick-or-treater up far too late. He was not expecting a sixteen year old in a bowler hat and sunglasses to barge past him, empty a bag of coffee grounds into his mouth, and start yelling at thin air that it almost got him fired.

-Remus and Virgil say something along the lines of, “Oh shit, Remy” and run. But Remy contains coffee now, and nothing will stop him.

-They realize that they won’t be able to both escape. Remus lets himself be caught so Virgil can escape and see his sister and niece.

-Virgil’s sister is at a Halloween celebration in the world famous corn maze. Yes, this town has a world famous corn maze. Virgil searches the maze, still equal measures worried for and in love with his boyfriend.

-Remy (still possessing Janus) isn’t that far behind him, but he’s slowed down immensely by Remus’s superpower: being the worst travel companion ever when he wants to be. Remy oh so desperately wishes he could kill dead people and that this night was over.

-Roman and Logan track Remus and Virgil because if you can see ghosts, it’s really easy to know where Remus is, due to the near constant trail of blood. They ask some questions to Patton, who still blames everything on his cats, then keep following the trail towards the corn maze.

-Virgil eventually finds the center of the maze. And there’s his kid sister, who isn’t a kid anymore. He wonders if she kept up playing piano and who she married and what her life was like after he left it. And the baby! It’s like a loaf of bread with eyes!!!

-Virgil’s calm, for once. He starts to move toward the exit, when he bumps into Remy (Remus is clinging to Remy’s leg and lying on the ground to try and slow him down. It isn’t helping much, but it helps a little). He sprints in the opposite direction.

-Virgil’s chased by Remy, who’s chased by Roman and Logan, and they’re all very, very lost in this world famous corn maze.

-Remus is continually yelling at Remy, who tries to explain that he’ll lose his job if he doesn’t do this. Remus’s pleas are kind of effective, however, and Remy is starting to feel like a terrible person demon.

-Virgil reaches a dead end in the maze. All parties round the corner and stand in the same dead end (except Patton, who’s at home reading his book).

-An exorcism is attempted. The exorcism fails because Remus’s blood trail ruins the salt circle.

-The exorcism gives Virgil the time to climb up a corn stalk and begin running across the corn.

-Once the exorcism fails, Roman is desperate. He takes Janus’s hands and confesses everything, asking him to come back.

-It works! Whether that’s because of the power of love or the demon feeling socially awkward is anyone’s guess.

-Remus also escapes, scales the corn, and runs across the stalks. Virgil and Remus run like the wind across a world famous corn maze.

-Remy considers catching them. He probably still could. But...he can probably think of some excuse to not get fired. Or something. He’ll think of something, and lets the boys get away.

-Virgil and Remus, grinning from adrenaline and an amazing night, walk back toward the graveyard together, hand in hand as the sun comes up and drives away the shadows.

Thanks for the prompt!

I might end up changing that names and making this an original thing one day

This was really fun to write!!!

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malgal7777 · 3 years

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Hiking with Tracy 2021: Weekend 3, the Lost Weekend

As I went back to re-read my blog I noticed I had cut off my WHOLE weekend of 4/17!! This is my 20 mile walk from the Emeryville Marina to the Richmond Marina and back via the Bay Trail along the water & Hwy 80. So let me try to reenact my journey!

The theme of this hike was “Don't tell me this town ain't got no heart, you just gotta poke around” - Once again I tip my hat to the great Jerry Garcia. Not sure if you all figured it out, but I love Jerry. I came to the Bay Area to follow the Grateful Dead’s music and I never left.

This particular hike was absolutely beautiful. I wish it wasn’t so I can mix this blog up, but sorry folks, you live in a beautiful area. Even along a dirty highway, there are things of beauty all around you. Take for example this hike, wildflowers everywhere. Even popping out of the sidewalk. I'm reminded of Jeff Goldblum’s character in Jurassic Park...”Life refuses to be contained...it just finds a way”. And sure enough, Sunflowers out of the sidewalk!

Since I was next to a highway, I went with headphones this time around. One of my positives during this pandemic is my rekindled love for music radio stations. I love listening to a radio station and I definitely have my favorite DJ’s. My personal favorites this past year were: WWOZ - a local New Orleans station; KCSM - a Bay Area jazz station and KXT - out of Dallas, TX. These stations literally kept me sane during the lockdowns. I highly recommend them, especially if you’re cooking, doing chores or working in the garden.

This particular morning I went with WWOZ. And what a good decision that was. Ron Phillips was spinning his favorite Saturday morning tunes and I was going down the road feeling BAD (as in good)! Irma Thomas, Anders Osborne, The Subdudes and a little known singer/songwriter out of New Orleans, Chris Smithers. If you get overwhelmed and about to burst...stream Chris Smithers “Let it Go”. So funny. Anders Osborne is a name my friends have been trying to get me into for a long time. And I’m a bozo, definitely missed the boat on this one! From his new album, try this song: Welcome to Earth.

Ok, so I digress! Back to the walk. In one of my last posts, I mentioned the people I meet. Well this am was a doozy! As I was grooving to the sweet sounds of the Crescent City I was approached by a group of ladies. They had a question for me: What’s more important in a relationship: Love or Economics? My first response was “Wow, you ladies don’t mess around for a Saturday morning! Going deep on me”. But, because I’m me, I had an answer. Now usually I would have said Love, Love, Love. Hands down right? But they caught me at a weird time. I have been obsessively thinking of a comment I overheard from another group of ladies while doing my Diablo hike. One of them had commented “I have no desire to marry just for love. Forget that, I need to be economically stable”. My reaction was pity for this poor girl. I literally felt sorry for her. The more I thought about it (obsessively for two weeks) I came to realize, she didn’t necessarily say she wasn’t going to work, she just wanted someone with their shit together and would contribute to their family being comfortable. What’s wrong with that? Is being comfortable taboo now? So when my Bay Trail friends asked me, that’s how I answered. Love was great but there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be comfortable, isn’t that love after all? I obviously made one of the women very happy. She loved it. The other two nodded and smiled, they were on Love’s side. So we said our goodbyes and I felt like I had gotten a weight off my shoulders. As I was walking away though...I asked myself...But didn’t YOU marry for love? And sure enough, I did. Bob & I didn’t have a pot to piss in. And while we’re not the Rockefeller's, we’re comfortable enough for us. I love him dearly and love has to be the basis that you build your financial future upon. If you don’t have that, it get’s ugly when $$ is involved. The best part of this moment was that song “Welcome to Earth” was playing as I was coming to this realization and the last line is literally “Love is always the answer”. The Universe works in mysterious ways! But, where were the ladies...I wanted to change my answer??!! No where to be found. Man, I blew it. I would now obsessively think about this for the next 20 miles. Told you I was a bozo.

By this time I had reached The Albany bulb. A Bay Area gem to the north of Golden Gate Fields. There’s a great beach and then it jets out into a peninsula which is covered with art installations all over. I’ll talk more about that later, since I came back on Sunday to finish my 25 miles. This morning though I watched a group of swimmers about to enter the freezing bay waters, no wet suit mind you! CRAZY and No Thank You! Brrr. Next Stop, Point Isabel, dog heaven. A large open spaced off-leach dog park. I go there all the time. If you have a dog, you should take them. They will love you even more than they already do.

Now past Point Isabel is where the trail gets interesting. You start to wander away from the highway and are now among the prettiest beaches and marshes. It’s an interesting view of the Bay Bridge and you can no longer see the Golden Gate Bridge as you veer north of it. You now start to come upon single family homes along the trail. You’re instantly reminded of Cape Cod. A ocean view from Richmond, CA. The best part is once you see this neighborhood you know you’re close to the marina. And sure enough, I turned the bend and there in front of me was the Ford Assembly plant, my 1/2 way point. But, it’s a very cruel joke. You see the plant across the opening of the marina, it’s literally right there!! Then the realization hits you in order to get to it you need to go around the WHOLE marina. And as you continue to walk and go around another bend, the sidewalk gets longer and longer and longer. The Richmond Marina is HUGE. Lovely though. Large green spaces with people doing yoga; a ladies bootcamp class along the water; boats coming and going from the marina and two pretty cute restaurants also along the water.

I finally made it to the Ford Assembly Plant and now Richmond Ferry Terminal. The assembly plant hosts seasonal events, we’ve been to the women’s roller derby ones. Nothing like watching tough chicks bully each other on roller skates. Then there are a few businesses strewn throughout the building. Dolls Kill, which I believe is a clothing business for those on the freakier side of the spectrum. And Mountain Hardware! Quality clothing for the outdoorsy types. I should have gone in and gotten a windbreaker. The wind was pretty brutal.

The best part was of course the Rosie The Riveter museum. A museum dedicated to the women that left the kids at home and joined the workforce to help build ships during WWII. This whole area was built for the war effort. Richmond grew from 25,000 to over 100,000 within three years!!! Can you imagine? How does any town build the infrastructure needed to maintain that population? Grocery stores? Clothing? Schools? Highly recommended. It’s a suggested donation, so don’t be cheap, donate. You won’t be disappointed. I once brought Charlotte and a couple of her Girl Scout troop there to meet a real life “Rosie”. She told the girls her story and it was of course about LOVE! The trials and tribulations of her and her partner as he was fighting in the war and she was here making the ships that would keep him safe. Man, where were those 3 ladies!!

The way back was pretty much the same. I made it! Now onto Sunday, 4/18. The Albany Bulb! A Bay Area gem. Bob & I have been coming here for years. Way back when it was a landfill full of broken concrete slabs and rebar. Some artist types took it upon themselves to start living there. They kept the concrete slabs and rebar and started to make installations out of them. Giant sized figures; rows of wooden paintings; mazes and one guy even built a concrete castle along the water facing the Golden Gate Bridge. Best real estate in the Bay. They exemplified the phrase “one mans trash is another man’s treasure”. Of course the stuffed shirts got wind and kicked them out. But gave the stuffed shirts an idea...Hey, why not make a park out of this dirty unused lot? Duh. So before you harass your kid for taking art classes, remember it’s usually the artists who push the rest of society in the right direction.

It’s also a great place to bird watch and now the wildflowers are a blooming, so it’s quite serene. If you’re looking for some inspiration, this is the place for you.

So my posts/weeks are a bit out of order. Oh well! It’s my blog and I’ll create chaos if I want to!

I’ll end on this note: Love is ALWAYS the answer.

So sponsor me (hehehe): https://runsignup.com/tracyalbert/Donate

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luv-surveys · 4 years

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Do you wear a ring on your finger? no. Do you expect to be married in the next two years? no way. What is your favorite type of cookie? chocolate chip. Are you allergic to pollen? yes, my allergies have gotten worse over the past couple years unfortunately :( Do you have more upper or lower body strength? more lower. Do you like hot tubs? yes they’re fun! Do you know anyone who is battling cancer? not to my knowledge. Have you ever donated money to a charity? yes. What was the last movie you��ve seen in theaters? i believe it was the live action aladdin. Do you prefer Apple or Android? apple. Do you like the color lime green? yes, but not neon lime green. Do you like the Silent Hill movies? i’ve never seen them. What movie scared you the most out of any other movies? probably “house on haunted hill” or something like that. Tell me something you’ve been made fun of for in the past. i’ve been made fun of for my height. Do you support war? it depends. Have you ever wanted to be on American Idol? When was this? no. Do you like kissing lightly better than just making out? nah, i prefer making out. You get a text from someone saying that they want to hang out - who would you most like it to be from? it’d probably be my friend kylie. Do you attend school, college, or university? i attend college/university. Name 5 things you don’t believe in. 1) love at first sight, 2) soulmates, 3) polytheism, 4) reincarnation, 5) the existence of bigfoot. If you could have any friend that you’ve lost back, who would you pick? probably my friend eva. When was the last time you did something for the first time? i listened to a song for the first time about 30 minutes ago. Do you have blinds in your bedroom? not my bedroom at home, no. When was the last time you had an interview? How did it go? march, for a job. it went well, but covid happened and everything got messed up. What was the most damaging relationship (romantic or not) that you’ve ever been a part of? probably my friendship with a girl that bullied me in high school. Who was the last person you cut out of your life? Do you regret it? i cut my ex out, and i don’t regret it because he treats me poorly. Who is the most attractive person you know personally? personally, i think a girl i know from high school is the prettiest person i know. Do you remember the first time you truly enjoyed sex? Or have you always? i’ve never had sex LOL. Have you ever done anything sexual in a car? yes if making out counts. What do you wish you had been better prepared for? my college auditions. Do you know anyone with a semicolon tattoo? nope. Who knows you best, excluding romantic partners? my parents. The last news you got that shocked you, what was it, and was it good news or bad news? probably that somebody was in a relationship with somebody, which is good news ig. If you have pets, who normally puts food and water in their dish? my mom does unless she’s away; then i do. Do you organize the pictures on your computer into different folders or are they all just under “My Pictures”? they’re all unorganized. Do you think if someone is in a relationship, that it is acceptable to have sleepovers with other people of their preferred sex? yes, but as long as there are no feelings whatsoever. Would you shoot a gun if given the chance? If you’ve shot a gun before, how many different types of guns have you shot? i would NOT shoot a gun lol. Do you feel uncomfortable sharing things like artwork or poetry you’ve written? Is it because you don’t think it’s good enough to show off or because it’s too personal? yes, i don’t like showing it off because it’s probably not good enough. For those who have anxiety, has anyone ever told you that you just need to calm down and actually face your fears? Were you insulted or frustrated by this comment? yes and it was both insulting and frustrating. Do you have any siblings you absolutely despise? Why do you despise them? no, i love my siblings! Do knives scare you? Is it from watching scary movies? they make me unsettled, but not from scary movies, just anxiety. Say lyrics from the song currently playing? “no time to regret this, what we’ve done” If you HAD to get a piercing (not ears) what would you get? i’d probably get a nose piercing. How many closets does your house have?  there’s seven closets, i think. What has been your most epic cooking failure?  i made cookies and they didn’t work and melted all over the pan and oven lol. What was the last single item you spent over $100 on?  i don’t think i’ve ever spent over $100 on a single item. Have you ever climbed a chain-link fence? no. What is your LEAST favorite Disney animated movie? i don’t like the older ones, like pinocchio. Who was the last person’s house you went to besides your own? the guy i’m seeing’s house. Do you enjoy the birds’ singing in the morning? yes it’s lovely! List these apple types from greatest to least greatest: red, yellow, green. I’d say red, green, yellow. On YouTube, who are two people you find hilarious? i love jennxpenn’s videos, as well as pewdiepie. If you had to live in a palace, what would be the color scheme? probably red and gold. Favorite dinosaur? i love pterodactyls! What is the best part of fall? the tastes and smells. Favorite style of hat? probably just baseball caps. How do you eat Oreos? i used to split them and eat them separately but now i eat them whole. Name the first vine that you can think of. i coulda dropped my croissant! Beyonce vs Rihanna? i prefer rihanna. What’s fake about you? Like extensions, fake nails, botox etc. nothing, tbh! Have you ever gotten into a Facebook fight? never. What are your favorite smells? i love smells like lemon and grapefruit. Do you shave your pits? yes. Do you know anyone who has been on life support, and survived? no. What light in your house was the last to have a bulb burn out? i’m not sure since i’m not home rn. Have you ever been in an abandoned house? no. What is your favorite phase of the moon? full! What season do you want to get married in? probably spring. Besides the USA, what is your favorite country? i’ve always liked japan! Would you rather go to Europe or Asia? europe. Would you rather go to Africa or Australia? africa. Would you rather go to Mexico or Canada? canada. Are there such things as stupid questions? yes. Did you get in trouble for cussing on accident when you were a kid? yes, but my parents didn’t hear, only my sister. What’s the highest you can count in a different language? like 100 in french. Where would you like to be buried? just a local cemetery near where i grew up :) Have you ever had yourself drawn in caricature? nope. Have you ever seen a ghost orb picture? yes! Do you think abortion should be illegal? no. How many keys are on your key-ring? two. What are some piercings you want? more ear piercings, but that’s it. Dogs or cats? Why? dogs, because they’re more loving and fun. Do any of your pets have strange habits? Explain? my dog likes to eat napkins. Have you ever told an extremely inappropriate joke? dark humor, yes. What is your favorite non-traditional fruit? i like passionfruit! What’s your favorite older film? i don’t watch a lot of older films! Aliens or unicorns? unicorns. Where did you meet your current or last significant other? instagram. Would you ever get a face tattoo? no way. If you asked your mom to describe you, what do you think she’d say? she’d probably say i’m smart, caring, and hardworking. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world? more love and understanding! What are you most grateful for? how good of a childhood i had. Who is the most interesting person you’ve ever met? i’ve met some people with great stories from their lives. When do you love yourself most? when i do something well haha. What would you most readily die for? my parents. What single word do you hate most? probably slurs like the n word. Who in life have you felt the strongest need to protect? whomever i’m dating at the time. What would you most like to be remembered for after you die? my friendship. What’s the biggest surprise you’ve ever had in bed? in bed? or in bed? if we’re just talking about in bed, waking up with my retainer under the sheets at the foot of my bed when it had been in my mouth when i fell asleep. What is the most sacred thing in your life? my religion. Who have you most feared in your life? probably my bullies. What was the quickest friendship you ever made? i’d say my roommate. What single word would you use to most accurately describe your parents? wise. What is the worst word anyone ever used to describe you? probably immature LMAO.

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psychosistr · 5 years

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New Way to Love

Summary: Speedwagon already has enough to deal with in his life without his intense attraction to the powerful and brave man who can slay vampires with his bare hands. Besides, even if his feelings were returned, would Jonathan accept him- ALL of him?

Notes: Trans!Speedwagon AU simply because I have seen pretty much every other character in this series get a trans!AU/headcanon but him. Might make a mini-series out of this later..

Speedwagon knew he was…odd. He had known it since he was about twelve, maybe thirteen years old.

While other kids his age started to fit into their roles in society and lose the androgyny of youth with excitement, he found he dreaded it.

While others his age looked at their bodies filling out with pleasing swells and curves with joyous expressions and comments about how they were looking forward to the frilly new clothes they would be able to wear, he looked at himself with a sense of loathing and found he would rather wear a suit than something so lacy and delicate.

While the girls his age made their parents and guardians proud with talk of one day marrying wealthy husbands and having children, he thought it over and, while he wouldn’t mind having kids someday, he wasn’t as excited by the thought of a big wedding and settling down- he wanted to earn his own money and be able to take care of himself, rather than become dependent on someone else.

Also, while he did still like men quite a lot (he recalled several crushes from his youth), he found he also didn’t mind the idea of being with girls too much either.

Needless to say, his ideals conflicted greatly with those of the people around him who could not comprehend such a mindset.

It only became worse as puberty began to set in more firmly, changing his body in ways that made him upset to look at himself in the mirror. He began doing little things such as wrapping bandages around his chest to bind it and make it look flatter and sneaking out of the orphanage wearing clothes he’d found on the streets that fit him much better. If he got caught behaving in such a way, the “caretakers” (or undertakers, as many kids were prone to call them) would punish him harshly, their methods alternating between beatings, refusal of food, or even locking him up in a closet for days at a time.

By the time he was fifteen, he decided he’d had enough of it and ran away along with a few other kids. They didn’t have anywhere to go, but they figured the streets would be more hospitable than the place they came from was.

Speedwagon figured out rather quickly that, in order to survive on the streets, there were two options- selling yourself or stealing from others.

Not being too keen on the first option, he decided to improve his skills with the latter. He trained himself and learned how to wield different weapons from knives to guns to his bare fists when the need arose. He found he was actually quite skilled with throwing knives and had good aim with other objects, so he found a way to conceal razor blades in articles of clothing- giving him a surprise advantage over anyone he challenged as most didn’t expect to be kicked with a knife or have a hat with blades thrown at them.

With time, he found his way to Ogre Street, one of the worst places in all of London. If you were skilled enough, you could make a killing there (literally and figuratively) and the cops were too afraid to pursue anyone strong enough to call the area home. It was a perfect fit for him, except for one little thing:

Ogre Street was not a welcoming place for anyone even remotely feminine. No cops meant that no one would care if you were assaulted, and some men were cruel and deranged enough to pounce on whatever caught their eye.

Having already decided he wanted to live his life as a man and being more comfortable with people referring to him as such, the decision to have his breasts removed was an easy one. Finding a doctor willing to attempt the surgery and keep quiet about it was a bit more challenging, but, for the right price, anyone’s service can be bought. He eventually found a crooked doctor willing to perform the operation after Speedwagon slid him a decent amount of money up front and promised more after it went well.

It hurt. Speedwagon was no stranger to pain, but it had been AGONIZING. The doctor had no proper anesthetics or pain killers to give him and couldn’t even be bothered to knock him out, meaning he had to be strapped down to the operating table and wide awake through the whole process. Needless to say, it left him with some nasty scars under his chest, but they fit in well-enough with the rest of the scars already on his body. The recovery period lasted longer than he would have liked, leaving his pockets dangerously empty, but it was worth it for the security (and general feeling of comfort and happiness) it would bring him in the future.

Once everything was said and done and he was back out terrorizing the streets once again, he felt so much better. No more binding his chest to the point of near-suffocation or worrying about his shirt buttons popping open to reveal something that shouldn’t be seen. To everyone on Ogre Street, he was just another man looking to survive and that’s how he wanted it.

Speedwagon was not a very trusting person, so there were very few who knew his secret. In fact, there were only two men who knew the truth about him in all of London.

One was Tattoo, as he was one of the boys that Speedwagon had run away from the orphanage with. The big guy had been a good, supportive friend throughout their youth and never made Speedwagon feel odd about himself in the slightest. After Speedwagon’s surgery, he’d brought him food now and then to help keep him alive when he wasn’t feeling well enough to go out and steal some for himself. He was also the one to suggest they start going by new names to mark their new lives on Ogre Street. Tattoo took his namesake from the odd inking he got done at a local shop around the same time Speedwagon got his surgery, and he had no problems at all calling Speedwagon by the new name he chose for himself.

The other was Kempo Master. Speedwagon and Tattoo met him shortly after they changed their names. He was a little odd himself, but pretty clever. Speedwagon never said anything about his past, and he knew Tattoo sure as hell didn’t, but Kempo Master just seemed to somehow KNOW. He never said a word about it, which Speedwagon was immensely grateful for. Instead, Kempo Master showed his understanding and support in little ways such as bringing home extra bundles of cloth and wool along with medicines and drugs meant to ease pain during certain times of the month when Speedwagon “felt ill”.

Speedwagon was glad to have both of his friends’ support and understanding, but he certainly did not plan on ever letting anyone else find about his past or his body.

At least…not until a certain snowy night when he and his friends attempted to rob a tall, muscular, rich man who’d wandered into their territory..

Jonathan Joestar.

With one firm punch to the face that sent him flying, the kind-hearted nobleman had instantly landed a place in Speedwagon’s heart that no other person in the world had been able to match. The man was kind, compassionate, caring, strong, brave, noble, intelligent, clever- Speedwagon could go on and on for hours (according to his friends, he already did).

Since they met, Speedwagon’s life had been completely uprooted and he was thrust into a bizarre adventure that consisted of ancient stone masks, people corrupted into zombies, and nearly immortal vampires. It was through these life or death battles and long days and nights spent training for them that the pair grew closer and closer.

Speedwagon was in love with Jonathan, he knew this to be a fact almost instantly after meeting him. That feeling grew stronger with each passing day, but he bit his tongue and said nothing about it. One reason was because Jonathan already had a lovely woman in his life- Erina Pendleton. The two had been close when they were younger and had been inseparable since the fight with Dio had ended. There were no doubts in Speedwagon’s mind that they would be married before long.

The other reason he abstained from saying anything was because…well…he was who he was. It was a cruel way to phrase it, but he had no other way to describe himself. Part of him briefly wondered if, had he simply bitten his tongue and lived his life as he had been told to, there may have been a chance for him to win Jonathan over before Erina came back into his life. That part was quickly silenced, though- he was who he was and would never regret that choice. If someone could not love him for being himself, then he would rather die alone.

Even so, on lonely nights when he knew Jonathan and Erina were off somewhere being one of the most lovely couples in all of England- perhaps in all the world- his mind would stray and wander to thoughts of the handsome nobleman and how he longed to be held as Erina was. On certain occasions, he even imagined himself together with both of them- walking down the street with himself on one of Jonathan’s arms and Erina on the other, sharing a kiss with each of them before gazing at them doing the same with each other, or simply just lying together peacefully in the same bed with the two of them holding him and telling him he deserved to be there nestled between such beautiful angels.

Alas, he knew it was a fantasy not meant to see the light of day. At least he could content himself with being Jonathan’s closest friend and catching glimpses of the happiness the two shared with each other.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was on an evening much like any other that he’d spent with Jonathan following Dio’s defeat that his life took yet another unexpected turn.

The two men were having drinks at a local pub in London, one of the seedier places that a man like Jonathan never would have set foot in before meeting the blonde man. However, since the two became friends and Speedwagon began showing the nobleman his less-than-respectable-but-still-quite-fun places to hang out, Jonathan was now a familiar face at many of London’s lower class establishments. He had been a bit worried at first about causing a scene among the bar’s patrons, but one stern glare from Speedwagon was enough to quiet any room and silently instruct all in attendance not to bother them- he still held quite a bit of pull in England’s darker circles, despite his attempts at going on the straight-and-narrow since meeting Jonathan.

They were a few drinks in, at a point where they were both pleasantly buzzed and relaxed thanks to the alcohol but not yet inebriated. After finishing another round, Speedwagon noticed that Jonathan had a pensive expression on his face despite the generally jovial atmosphere around them.

“Somethin’ on your mind, Mr.Joestar?” He inquired while placing a hand on the larger man’s shoulder.

“Huh?” Jonathan startled slightly, blinking as he realized he was being spoken to and clearly replaying the words in his minds before responding with a small frown. “Oh Speedwagon, I do wish you would stop referring to me so formally. We have been through so much together, can you not call me Jonathan- or even simply Jojo? I would much prefer that..”

Speedwagon offered him an apologetic smile. “My apologies, Jonathan. Now then, somethin’ on your mind ‘sides my language?”

Jonathan seemed hesitant as he searched his mind for an answer. “Well…yes.” He looked down at his empty glass on the table, bringing one of his fingers up to slowly trace the rim of it. “Promise you will not think less of me if I ask you for your opinion on a rather…sensitive matter?”

Speedwagon was quick to respond with a resolute nod and an encouraging squeeze to the broad shoulder that his hand was still resting on. “Never, Jonathan. Y’ can ask me anythin’ at all, I’d never judge y’.”

Jonathan looked up at him for a moment, a soft, caring smile on his handsome face. “…” He took a deep breath and looked back down at his hands, apparently unable to meet his friend’s gaze while asking what was on his mind. “You are far more worldly than I am, so I was hoping you would have a more open-minded opinion on such things..but..” He bit his lip briefly before continuing. “I know that romantic relationships between men and women are quite common all over the world..however..have you ever seen such a thing between..um.. between two……men..?” His voice grew quieter towards the end, lowering so much that, had he not been leaning in to hear properly, Speedwagon may have missed the final word.

As it was, he’d certainly heard it and it caused a slight flush that was from more than just the alcohol to spread over his ears. “O-Oh..” He pulled his hand back and covered his mouth while clearing his throat. “Well now..that is certainly a sensitive matter to discuss..” He glanced around to make sure no one was close enough to hear them. Thankfully they were in a booth situated in the back corner of the pub and the bar was fairly empty at the moment, with its few regulars mostly seated at the bar itself and out of both sight and earshot. Deeming it safe to talk about the subject, Speedwagon looked back to Jonathan once more. “To answer your question, Jonathan- yes. I’ve met my fair share of men an’ women alike that preferred t’ be with one o’ their own rather than the other- ‘ell, I’ve seen people what went after both. I’ve even got a few friends inclined that way.” He almost said he was as well, but he was nervous to admit that part..

He noticed the way Jonathan’s head lifted and he looked at Speedwagon with a hopeful expression. “Really? I knew there were laws against carnal relations between two men, but I had never heard of them having romantic relations before. I mean, I knew it stood to reason that it would be POSSIBLE, I had just never seen such a thing in person.”

Speedwagon gave a pained chuckle, a forced smile on his face as it was his turn to look down at his empty glass. “Can’t say I’m surprised. Most have t’ keep quiet ‘bout that sorta stuff, ‘specially ‘round these parts, else they’d be locked up.” He sighed sadly and closed his eyes, remembering the times he’d bit his tongue regarding the many crushes he’d had over the years to avoid being arrested and executed like so many others had- some of them having been friends of his that he felt terribly sorry for. “It ain’t right, imprisonin’ people for lovin’ someone when they ain’t doin’ no harm t’ no one..but, that’s just the price we pay..”

“ ‘We’?” Jonathan parroted back to him with a curious tone that still seemed oddly hopeful.

Speedwagon’s eyes snapped wide-open at the realization of his blunder. “I..um..that is..!” He searched his head rapidly for a reason, an excuse, a diversion- ANYTHING that would allow him to go back on what he’d said. “That is t’ say..‘we’ as in..y’ know..‘umans in general..!” He tugged his hat down, avoiding Jonathan’s wide-eyed, curious stare. “A-Anyway, why ask that sorta thing?”

With his hat hiding his eyes, Speedwagon failed to notice Jonathan subtly moving closer as he spoke. “It’s because..you see..I have been having some feelings as of late that were rather…confusing.” Speedwagon felt Jonathan’s hand brush against his own ever so slightly as he continued, but he figured it was just an accident. “I do love Erina very much, there are no doubts in my mind about that…however..I believe I have started developing feelings- I would dare to even call it love- for..someone else, as well..another man, actually.” A gentle glide of fingers along the back of his hand, far too deliberate to be an accident this time. “I have spoken with Erina, and she has been wonderfully patient and kind on the matter. In fact, she has encouraged me to speak to the man in question about it..and has even shown a budding interest in him as well, which makes me all the more eager to speak with him.” His fingers traced around so they were sliding between Speedwagon’s palm and the table below it, holding onto it so tenderly that it made Speedwagon’s heart ache. “Tell me..if I confessed my feelings to him..do you think he would accept them..?”

Speedwagon felt something racing through him in time with his rapid heartbeat- anxiousness, perhaps. Or maybe hope? Whatever it was, he tried to firmly stomp it down before it could blindside him completely. After all, Jonathan could merely be seeking comfort- he was quite a tactile fellow, always offering physical contact in way of encouragement and affection.

“I..I think anyone would be lucky t’ ‘ave y’, Jonathan..” He swallowed down the lump in his throat that threatened to choke off his air any moment now. “Only a fool would turn someone like YOU down.”

“Well then..” Jonathan’s large, warm hand was suddenly on his cheek, tilting his head up so they could lock eyes properly- confident and teasing blue meeting nervous and surprised copper brown. “Do you consider yourself a fool, Robert?”

Jonathan rarely used his first name and it made his heart want to explode out of his chest. Then, if that weren’t enough, those blue eyes were suddenly much closer and he felt something warm pressing to his lips and-

Oh.

Jonathan was kissing him…

Jonathan was kissing him…?

Jonathan was kissing him?!

“Mh?!” Speedwagon made a surprised noise in the back of his throat and pulled back slightly, staring at Jonathan with wide, confused eyes. “J-Jonathan?! Wh-Wh-What was that..?!” His face was burning hot and he was certain it was as red as a rose by this point.

Jonathan frowned, looking confused by the reaction. “It was..a kiss..?” He looked down, the expression on his face looking so hurt- so full of pain and regret and despair- that it made Speedwagon want to cry. “My apologies..I just..I thought..I was certain you..” He shook his head and stood up from the table, reaching into his pocket and setting a handful of money on the table that was probably worth far more than their few drinks. “Please…forgive me…” He said, his head tilted down so that his eyes were cast in the shadow of his hair to hide his hurt expression from the blonde.

Before Speedwagon could finish properly processing what just happened, Jonathan was already walking briskly towards the exit.

No, no, no! He couldn’t let that painful expression be the last look he saw on Jonathan’s face that night!

“Jonathan! Wait!” He called while hurrying out the door after the taller man. Thankfully, he hadn’t gotten far and Speedwagon was able to catch up to him after jogging for a block or two. “Jonathan!” He grabbed the nobleman by his arm and turned him so they were looking at each other. His heart nearly stopped at the look of pain and despair still firmly painted on such a handsome face. “Jojo…” He kept a firm grip on that strong arm and led the other man into a back alley, taking a few turns so as to hide themselves from those wandering the streets.

“Speedwagon? What are you-?” Speedwagon didn’t give him a chance to finish his question, instead leaning up on his toes to kiss the taller man firmly on the lips. “?!”

Speedwagon continued the kiss for quite some time, keeping his hands cupped around Jonathan’s cheeks to prevent him from pulling back as he himself had earlier. When he was finally satisfied, he pulled away only by an inch or two so he could give Jonathan a playful and teasing but still loving smile.

“Still startlin’, even when y’ want it, ain’t it?” He asked while gently stroking Jonathan’s defined cheekbones with his thumbs.

Jonathan swallowed nervously, a slight flush appearing on his cheeks. “You..Do you mean..that is..do you..?”

Speedwagon smiled more. God, it was cute watching the normally confident man fumble over his words like a nervous school boy. “Yeah. I do, Jojo.” His smile faltered, however, when a traitorous thought crossed his mind. “I..gotta ask, though..” He looked down, releasing Jonathan’s face so he could wrap one arm around himself and nervously rub at it with the other one. “Would y’ still love me..even if I wasn’..y’ know….a man..?” Damn it, his anxiety was getting the better of him, but he knew they would need to have this conversation at some point, so, he figured, they might as well do it now.

Jonathan just gave him a confused look, obviously missing the point of the question a bit. “Are you asking if I would still love you if you were a woman? Of course I would, Robert. I love your fiery personality and sharp wit. Though you are also quite charming and attractive, it is you and your amazing soul I love far more than the body you were born with.”

Speedwagon visibly winced at the other’s wording. “And…if this wasn’ the body I was born with? If, say, I was supposed t’ be somethin’ else an’ decided t’ change it..? If I wasn’ a man in the same way as you..would y’ still love me, Jojo..?” This was physically painful to talk about. He kept waiting, anticipating the rejection he was certain would come any moment now-

“Yes.” The answer was immediate and without any trace of doubt. He looked up out of surprise, staring right into Jonathan’s unwavering gaze. “I love you, Speedwagon. Regardless of what anyone else says, you are the MAN whom I love so dearly. You are no less a man than myself, and are far greater than most men I have known in my life.” He encircled Speedwagon with his strong arms, making him feel shielded and safe and so very loved. “You are kind, loyal, brave, selfless, clever, and one of the most wonderful people in my life. Without your constant encouragement and support, I do not know if I would have made it through all the horrors that we were forced to endure.” He held Speedwagon close, leaning his head down until they were only a breath apart. “I love you, Robert. If you allow it, then I shall show you the depths of my love from this day forth and until the end of time itself.”

Speedwagon’s heart was thrumming madly in his chest. He felt overjoyed, so happy he could practically cry. In fact, he could swear he felt something wet sliding down his cheeks and wouldn’t be surprised at all if that were indeed the case.

“Please..” His voice was a broken whisper, his throat choked up with far too many emotions to name. “I love y’ too, Jojo. Please..” He gripped Jonathan’s shoulders, almost scared to let go for fear of this all being some cruel dream meant to grant him a taste of what he so desperately wanted. “Show me..”

That was all that needed to be said for Jonathan to close the gap between them and kiss Speedwagon with so much love and longing that it made the blonde’s knees weak. He practically clung to Jonathan for support as the kiss took all the stress, all the fear, all the trepidation he had in that moment and cast it aside. Instead, his heart filled with love, affection, reassurance, and desire that burned as it raced up and down his spine.

There was no use denying himself any longer: He was in love with Jonathan Joestar, and he knew that the astounding nobleman would continue to make his life even more bizarre and wonderful from this day forward.

End Notes: Yeah, I’ll probably make a mini-series out of this later. If nothing else it would be to add on some NSFW scenes that I’d post to AO3 and some relationship building to include Erina as well because I love polyamory stuff with the three of them xD

#jonawagon #jonathan joestar #Robert E O Speedwagon #jjba #trans!character #jojo kimyou na bouken #jojo's bizarre adventure #trans!Speedwagon #New Way to Love

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weirdoldmanhoho · 6 years

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Hey, happy fma day! Could you please do a prompt or like headcanons ideas of what would have happened if Ed and Al and the homonculi were siblings/cousins? (whichever inspires you more) it would be wonderful and funny, sure as hell

Happy FMA day! OMG yes this is my favorite ridiculous, silly au. Prepare for some ridiculousness.

Okay, so Father shows up randomly at the Elric (Hohenheim?) house a couple years into Hoho living there and is just like “hello, my dearest, oldest friend, so good to see you.” (Hoho is like, yeah, I’ve been rethinking our relationship ever since you literally committed genocide in front of me.)

Father tells Hoho he’s turned over a new leaf. No really, he says, no more murder. He’s content to live out the rest of his life with the one Philosopher Stone he already made and definitely has no plans whatsoever to make another one – what? How could his dearest, oldest friend – who he NAMED and cared for before anyone and helped gain him his freedom – doubt him? What is he talking about that the map of Amestris looks suspicious? Does he really think he could control how an entire country was built? His oldest, dearest friend (“seriously, stop calling me that”) has too high of expectations for him.

Anyways, Father says he showed up because he ended up with 7 kids somehow (“totally an accident. Just happened.” “…uh-huh.”) and he has absolutely no idea how to handle them and they’re all driving him absolutely crazy, and he heard that Hoho has two boys of his own (congrats, by the way, didn’t know you had it in you, your wife is lovely, good job) and maybe he’s managed to figure out this whole fatherhood thing better than he has, so can he bring the family and stay for a while? Just a bit?

And because Hoho is ultimately a sympathetic sap, he says yes. (Trisha literally might kill him. She won’t talk to him for two days. She threatens to take Ed and Al and run away. “This might be good for him, Trisha. He might actually learn to be better and care for people if he lives around humans for a while.” “If any one of his ‘children’ touch our children, I WILL find out how to kill an immortal and after I’m finished with them, I’m coming after you.” “I love you so much.”)

So the family moves in. Ed and Al meet their “cousins”. The homunculi meet the Elrics under strict orders not to hurt them. It goes about as well as you can expect.

Envy really likes screwing with Ed and Al. Their favorite hobby is transforming into one of them and trying to get in as much trouble as possible (pulling Winry’s hair, throwing things at Den, hitting the other real Elric brother, etc.) Jokes on them, though, because Trisha has gotten REALLY good at figuring out when it’s Envy in disguise and just happens to “accidentally” hit them with things. Like, she “accidentally” trips when Envy is in the kitchen as Ed and drops a metal pot on their head. (“Oh no! Edward, honey, I’m so sorry. I didn’t see you there!” She definitely did. She definitely aimed for the head on purpose.)

(In secret, all the Elric/Hohenheims have come up with tells to let each other know they’re not Envy. They might be putting up with them living here, but damn it all if Trisha is just going to passively let them torment her family.

Greed and Envy hate each other, so Greed teams up with the Elrics to help harass his sibling, and ends up actually becoming a big brother figure to them. And somehow, damn it all, he’ll deny it until his dying breath, he’s actually grown a little fond of the tikes. He lets Ed try on his ugly fur vest once. He puts on the invincible shield and lets them hit him with things (look just because he actually tries to play with the kids doesn’t mean he knows anything about appropriate games for human children. Envy and Lust and him hit each other all the time – and usually with a lot more blood and death involved – surely that’s fun for his little “cousins” right?)

Trisha walks outside once and sees her sons just beating on Greed with any weapon they can find and just…walks away. She doesn’t even care anymore. As long as it’s her sons beating one of the homunculi and not the other way around, she’s not going to stop it. She considers that this might be teaching her children bad lessons for the future – such as its okay to just beat people with sticks – but considering it’s also teaching them it’s okay to beat up homunculi, she thinks the pros outweigh the cons.

Lust tries to act like she’s above everything, but she usually gets dragged into arguments. She just kind of randomly flip-flops between helping Envy screw with the kids and teaming up with Greed to defend them like a guard dog, with no apparent rhyme or reason to which she’s going to do on any given day. Ed and Al are both terrified and slightly in awe of her. It’s pretty much exactly how Envy and Greed feel too.

One of their “cousins” looks suspiciously a lot like the former Furher of Amestris (who randomly disappeared a couple months ago, stating “family emergency” before vanishing). Wrath wears a whole bunch of ridiculous disguises every time he takes the boys into town. I’m talking like fake moustache over his real moustache and sunglasses. Really ridiculous hats. Hawaiian shirts. A fake nose once. (“This is just sad,” Envy tells him. “I’ve seen humans disguise themselves better than this.” “I’m not taking advice from someone who willingly walks around looking like that.” Envy has to be held back from trying to maul Wrath by Lust, because Envy has already lost FIVE LIVES since living here – one of them might have been from Trisha, but she won’t confirm or deny anything and only cackles quietly to herself when she looks at Envy sometimes – and if they keep it up they’re going to actually die FOR REAL by next year. “DO YOU THINK PHILOSOPHER’S STONES GROW ON TREES?” Father booms, then goes immediately to Hoho and is like, “That was the right phrase, right? I also tried grounding like you suggested.” “You’ll get this fatherhood thing in no time. Also, you can’t end the grounding no matter how sad they look. That’s what Trisha says.”)

Side note: Mrs. Bradley definitely moves in with them too and now she knows exactly what her husband and son are and still loves them just as much. Pride is confused and slightly mortified, but also touched – he’ll never admit it. Wrath just really loves this human woman he chose. He and Hoho trade stories about their adventures wooing strong-willed, slightly scary mortal women. They get drunk together once and cry into the night about how wonderful their wives are and the fact that their children are growing up before their eyes – “I don’t grow, Wrath, what are you talking about?” “My son sounds so grown up!” Both men sob harder.

Trisha and Mrs. Bradley become fast friends. They run a So-You-Married-an-Immortal support group. Currently they’re the only members. Meetings basically consist of them exchanging stories of the weirdest things they’ve ever seen their husbands do.

Pride becomes weirdly protective of the baby Elrics. Mostly because he believes Father wants to keep them safe and he’s the most loyal devoted son who will do anything Father wants, so he takes great pride (ha) in protecting the baby Elrics from every harm he can think of. He also looks the most similar in age to them, so he lets Father enroll him in the local school and watches over them while in class. The rest of the class and the teacher are absolutely terrified of him, because he mostly just sits behind Ed and glares at everyone who moves too close.

Ed and Al grow up with a really weird understanding of shadows – ie, convinced that they can definitely move independently and are physical things you can touch, because that one time Al tripped, a bunch of shadows definitely grabbed him before he hit the ground, placed him back on his feet, and patted his shoulder reassuringly for good measure.

Sloth does nothing, of course. He’s just happy he doesn’t have to dig that tunnel anymore. He mostly sleeps and Ed and Al try to figure out how much they can stack on him before he wakes up. Or how many times they can poke him. Or how loudly they can shout. Etc.

Somehow it turns out mostly okay though. Ed and Al make it into their teenage years without dying or any serious maiming. (Only Greed and Envy have been maimed, but their injuries heal so it’s fine.) They have at least two homunculi that are fiercely protective of them, one that usually at least has more fun fighting their enemies than them, one who acts like a weird uncle and showers them with gifts and random melons, and two that are pretty indifferent as long as they’re left alone. And Envy, who definitely still wants to make their lives as miserable as possible, but is at least usually outvoted by the other homunculi.

The Elric/Hohenheim family is very weird, but most of them (and Resembool) have accepted that. Trisha definitely would still kill any of them if they hurt her sons though.

Thanks for the prompt!

#I don’t know what this is #fullmetal alchemist brotherhood #damn #homunculi #c: edward elric #c: alphonse elric #elric brothers #c: father #c: van hohenheim #c: trisha elric #c: pride #c: greed #c: envy #c: lust #c: sloth #c: Mrs. Bradley #c: king bradley #ask #my post

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getoutofthisplace · 6 years

Photo

Dear Gus,

Today is my 37th birthday. What follows is the detailed account I posted to Facebook of how I spent the day, but I left out the part where after my meeting and before we started filming, I ducked into the conference room to see the Fayetteville engineers being introduced to the tinker kit the North Little Rock engineers opened up yesterday.

I wake up at the Courtyard Marriott in Fayetteville. It is dark. I reach for the bedside table and feel around for my phone, which lights up. My background image pictures Gus sitting in Liz’s lap. He looks older in the photo than he is in real life. Liz looks as beautiful as she is in real life. It’s 4:45am on the dot because that’s when Gus has been waking me up lately. It takes me a while to go back to sleep, but I think I finally crash at 5:30, and wake up to my alarm at 6:45. While I shower, I listen to The Cure Radio on my phone, which stops suddenly. I peek through the clear shower curtain to see that Liz is calling me. The music comes back when she hangs up. I dry off and call her back.

“Happy birthday!” she says. And then we talk about the sleep we got and didn’t get the night before. We talk about what Gus ate in the previous 24 hours. And while we talk I stare at myself in the mirror, trying to identify the differences in my body at 37 years old versus when I was in my 20s. I don’t remember my body from my 20s anymore. I try to convince myself I look exactly the same.

“Have a good day,” Liz says, “I love you.”

I get dressed and make my way downstairs to cash in my breakfast voucher for toast, bacon, fruit, and two eggs.

“How would you like your eggs cooked?” the woman behind the counter asks.

“Over-medium.” I used to ask for my eggs to be cooked over-easy, but it occurred to me last year that I have probably been ordering them that way out of habit for decades. I actually like my eggs cooked over-medium. The fascinating thing about this change in my egg order is that it hasn’t affected any change in the way my eggs are actually cooked. It turns out, most people in the kitchen don’t know how to make eggs over-medium. All of those egg orders never actually mattered, it seems. I was always going to get the same eggs, no matter the order.

I sit with Bryan Stafford and eat my breakfast while he drinks his coffee and we discuss an email we earlier that will likely mean we will soon head to Dallas to do what it is that we do. We work for a 100-year-old engineering firm that—among other things—pays us to make short videos. I write them, Bryan films them, and we direct them together. We’re a good team.

We drive over to the office and I make my rounds to say hello to the people I know and like in our Fayetteville office while Bryan unloads gear. I find an empty office and respond to emails. I run a quarterly conference call between the company’s 26 offices. Sometimes I worry that people are saying “Guy’s call is terrible. I dread it every quarter.” But I feel like if people are saying that, there is someone else close that will say, “At least he keeps it short.” On the call yesterday, though, I got worried the call would unravel when a lot of people wanted to spend time ribbing the guy in our Huntsville, Alabama office about the Clemson game. I am kind of proud of myself for steering the ship beyond that quickly.

I have another call at 10:45 about Bryan and I having to go to Dallas. We solidify our plans. After the call, Bryan and I don’t say anything to each other, and it occurs to me that we are both texting our respective wives about our impending absence.

“Liz isn’t going to like this,” I say.

“Yeah, my wife and I are sending our youngest to college and it looks like she’s going to get a little me-time in her first week with an empty nest.”

But in the end, our wives are very tolerant of our work's demands. They know who they married and how we operate.

“This is a really nice chair,” I say to Bryan. “I wish my chair in North Little Rock was this comfortable.” And then we stand up. We have a busy day.

While Bryan starts setting up for our afternoon video shoot, I take the elevator down to my truck. I need to dress our CEO up like a 15-year-old for the video. The night before, I picked him up a flat-billed Fayettechill hat, but I need to find him some kind of bright-colored jacket to complete his ensemble.

“Do you have any more of these in the back?” I ask a purple-haired girl at Hot Topic at the mall. “I need a medium, if you have it.” The jacket in question is covered in loud colors and Japanese logographs and appears to reference Dragonball Z. But when the girl comes back, she tells me they don’t have any more.

I find a store called The Geek Realms that looks like it will be gone in three weeks. Nothing is organized. “Hello,” a voice says from an unidentified place. I look around but don’t see anyone, so I simply respond loudly to a neverending rack of stickers in the middle of the store—“Hello.” I gravitate toward a clothing rack of hoodies. I find one that is an outer space print that says “I’m a dreamer” across the chest. I can’t decide if that one is better than the one that has a giant white lion’s face across the front. I buy them both.

I have 45 minutes to grab lunch before I’m due back to the office for another meeting. I want sushi. I go to Kobe, a Japanese place across the street from my hotel and bypass the line at the host stand to sit at the bar. I order the chirashi bowl and a water, and I try to order food to-go for Bryan and Laura, but the server says I can order it when I’m halfway finished with my meal. I am in a hurry and want to order it immediately so I don’t have to wait later, but I don’t insist. I don't want to be an asshole. I trust the server knows what she’s doing.

The chirashi is really good. I order Bryan the teriyaki chicken and Laura a chicken avocado salad. I pay my tab and finish my meal. The to-go orders aren’t ready yet. I have to wait. I am going to be late to my meeting with the three most powerful leaders at my place of employment. The server tells me the kitchen got slammed and so things are taking longer than normal. I make a mental note to insist that I order when I want to the next time I’m in this situation. If this were a major restaurant chain, I would start preparing my email to them.

I beat two of the three executives to my meeting, even though I'm a few minutes late. The meeting goes well, but it runs long and I worry our video shoot is going to run long. I worry we won’t be able to finish tonight and I’ll have to spend another night in Fayetteville. But we eventually start filming and it is fun to see the script I wrote come to life.

Everyone has to fight the urge to laugh on camera because we are doing something fun and funny. Our CEO is wearing the white lion hoodie. These are the days when I love my job.

We wrap up around 4:30pm. I sit down to my laptop and respond to emails while Bryan starts packing up gear. Our CEO usually leaves the costume items I buy for him, but after he changes clothes this time, he doubles back to grab the hat, the outer space shirt, and the white lion hoodie. It makes me laugh to think that he liked those clothes, that he might one day wear them in the future. Also, I’m a little disappointed that I didn’t get to keep that hoodie.

I say goodbye to Bryan, who will stay in Fayetteville another night to accompany his son to orientation at the university in the morning. I take the elevator down to my truck and head toward the interstate back to North Little Rock.

Liz calls. She has just picked up Gus from school. I can hear him in the background. She was worried I’d be late, but for the past month we’ve been sharing our locations with each other via our phones. She checked it and was relieved to see my little dot is on the road home. She asks if she should plan on me being home for dinner, but I tell her I’ll grab something on the way.

I end up at a place called Crosswoods just off the interstate in Clarksville. The restaurant’s website showcased bright photos and referenced the chef by name, but when I got there, it looked like a strip club from the outside. Inside, there are pool tables and two men at the bar, one of whom is wearing orange camouflage. I sit down at the bar beside the video crack machine and the puffy-faced 22-year-old dude behind the bar says, “Can I help you?” in a way that suggests he gained his hospitality industry training while pouring concrete for the new local motel.

Before I arrived, I planned to order a salad, but upon seeing the place, I feel like the "chef" is probably best suited to prepare meat and potatoes, so I order a steak with twice baked potatoes. For my second side, I ask the puffy-faced kid what he likes, to which he replies, “The green beans are pretty good,” so I go with that.

Duke and Wake Forest are on the television. The man in the camouflage hat asks me who my team is, and I tell him the Little Rock Trojans. The man said his dad had graduated from UALR, but he likes the Razorbacks. “Everybody does,” I say. The man lived in North Little Rock a long time ago, but then he moved to Pope County, and now he’s been in Johnson County for 22 or 23 years. He looks at the puffy-faced kid who is handing him another Busch can--unopened, strangely--and the man in camouflage says, “Long enough to want to leave, but too long to actually do it, you know. Nothing to do here.” I nod in some kind of false solidarity.

I pay my bill and walk out. No one says anything to me. I finish disc 10 of 13 of my audiobook of Watership Down just as I roll into the Shell station in Park Hill, a couple of miles from my house. It is just after 8pm and I can barely keep my eyes open. I go to bed before 9pm these days.

When I pull into the driveway, I turn the truck off and sit in silence for a few seconds. I am tired. I walk in the front door, my dog Suki meets me immediately and gyrates with excitement. The house is quiet, Liz has already put Gus to bed. She’s on the couch studying. I let Suki out the back door and kiss Liz. “Happy birthday,” she tells me again. I unpack my bag and brush my teeth.

“Are you going to bed?” Liz asks.

“I think so,” I say. And I walk to our bedroom, lie down in bed, make a couple of moves in the Open Face Chinese Poker game I play for a quarter a point against my cousin John and my friend Barrett, and I fall asleep quickly. This is who I am at 37 years old.

Dad

Fayetteville, Arkansas. 1.8.2019 - 1.46pm.

#37 #birthday #sam bush #stem #tinker kit #work #engineering #ethan dudley #garver chain reaction #domino effect

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