#look you can tell me Bane hates Batman all you want and maybe it's true but he loves Bruce Wayne and no one will ever change my mind

[righteousruin]

headcanon.

Hang on I wanna talk about this for a second 'cause it's trUE

SO, in multiple interactions with Bruce when Bane is not being antagonistic, both classic and post-reboot, Bane is legitimately playful with Bruce. He jokes with Bruce, in his own way. He's snarky with Bruce. And that's because Bruce Wayne is the only person on the planet that Bane knows, trust, and understands the fact that he is safe with, so he has the luxury of not being the stoic in the room. Batman will fight him, beat his ass, lock him up -- But Batman will never kill him. Batman would never let anyone else kill him. I can't express loudly enough that Bane's entire idea of life revolves around surviving. It revolves around refusing to die. Almost every motivation Bane has is a refusal to surrender, and Bruce (and by extension (most of) his family) -- not Batman -- effectively removes the need for that layer from Bane, which allows him to showcase more personality and humor, even if he still carries himself as largely invulnerable. So, being the massive pound puppy that he is, if Bane were to be given a home in which he knew he was safe, and trusted the people who offered him that home -- he would be absolutely insufferably empowered by the ability to be a person who knows he's allowed to have fun.

[kassofchaos]

Getting the Facts Straight

So, after what seems to have been a super long hiatus, I'm back with another chapter of the fic! Hope the wait wasn't unbearable, ya'll.

The Batcave. Perhaps it’s a childish name for a 31-year old billionaire to adopt for his alter-ego’s base of operations and armory, but there’s no denying it sounds cool. To the younger, more impressionable guest, the moniker certainly succeeds in its wow factor, not to mention the awe of finding himself there.

Batman doesn’t have many guests down here. It’s usually just him and Alfred, maybe the occasional criminal; but never someone like Ben. “Why do you have a dinosaur up here?” Speak of the devil.

Batman turns to face his guest, looking to see the green-vested lad standing next to one of the giant cave’s many attractions: a life-size model of a Tyrannosaur. Granted, a very old depiction.

“I came across it during an old mission. Decided to keep it.” He responds. Easy, succinct.

“It isn’t even accurate, how old is this thing?”

“I don’t know. These things don’t come with information plaques.”

A silence wafts over them both. Even for just that second, the silence is palpable.

“Man, hate that.” Ben responds. “I get that it’s just more work, but I can’t ever see something like this as finished without a plaque like that, y’know?”

Another pause, this one slightly longer than the last. Batman sighs; so this is the kind of person he’s let in. Could be worse.

“We can mess around with my decorations later. Tell me about the watch.”

“What, this old thing? Had it since I was ten.”

“And how long ago was that?”

“By now? Eeehh, twelve, maybe thirteen years? I got it late into my tenth, so I can’t know for certain. I don’t just have the exact date on me, right-”

“Explain what it does.” Batman’s order cuts through Ben’s rant before it could even begin. Ben gulps; he’s really dealing with THE BATMAN here.

“Well…” He lets out a half-hearted chuckle, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand. “Where do you want me to start?”

“You know where I want you to start.”

Ben takes a step back, looking away for just a second, shrinking at even the slightest hint of intimidation.

“Well… this-” He puts up his left arm, letting the light of the Batcave fall upon the device attached to his wrist, its green-and-black dial gleaming with the bright. “-is the Omnitrix. I don’t know everything about it myself, either, but I know how to use it, and I’ve been able to clue together some information on it after so long.”

Batman listens on, a notepad in his hands, ready to jot down anything important.

“From what I’ve gathered, this is alien technology. Within it are the samples of ten different alien species. I can choose which one I want to transform into by-” To demonstrate, he taps a small button on the device’s side facing him, watching the dial rise just slightly, projecting a holographic black silhouette of a four-armed humanoid. Ben grabs onto the dial’s side and turns it left, watching as the silhouette is replaced with another, this one of a shorter creature resembling a crab. “-turning the dial. When I press it down, then.. I suspect you can guess from there.”

“Only ten?” Batman asks amidst note-taking.

“Ten.” Ben nods. “An arsenal that compliments itself well. I don’t know if it’s a coincidence or not, but the choice of aliens on the watch feels planned, for lack of a better word. Intelligently designed, in a sense.”

“Lead me through each one.”

“I don’t know that I want to .” Ben finally interjects. “Sorry if that’s rude, sir, but… I’m not just going to tell you all of my strengths and weaknesses.”

Batman smiles. “There it is.” Batman waves Ben forward, leading him further. Down a set of stairs, to face a ginormous onslaught of computer monitors of varying sizes, all heralding a lengthy desk and a couple of simple revolving chairs. “I think I know why you’re here.”

“I’d be surprised if you didn’t.”

Batman nods, turning to type up on the keyboard, facing the smallest monitor screen just above said keyboard as if it were a simple laptop or home computer. After a few clicks, a picture comes up on one of the largest monitors; the scowling visage of a bitter, scarred, and somewhat wrinkled face, adorned with wide red goggles and cybernetics around the sides of his face.

“You’ve come here for him.”

Ben looks up at the display, not needing any more than a second to recognize that face. He nods. “Dr. Aloysius James. Insists on the name ‘Dr. Animo’. Sounds tacky.”

“This coming from ‘Ben Ten’.” “This coming from ‘The Batman’?”

A pause wafts over the room, broken only by the sounds of keyboard keys being pressed rapidly.

“Fair point.” Batman turns Ben’s attention out to another screen. Several dates from the last three months all laid out uniform on the monitor. “There are the days Dr. Animo has been seen publicly for the last three months. Anywhere from Bellwood to DC, even all the way down in Texas or Kansas. Most recently, he’s converged here.”

Ben nods. “That’s part of why I’m here. I heard Animo was coming by to visit. He and I have something to settle.” Ben narrows his eyes, taking a look at each date. September 7th, September 17th, October 7th, and so on. The consistency drags on. “All dates ending on a 7.”

“The question is… why.”

“Why? Dr. Animo’s often like this… kinda weird around numbers.” “This isn’t just Dr. Animo, Ben.” Batman reassures him, and another monitor lights up with even more dates. September 3rd, September 9th, September 15th, on and on.

“These ones are divisible by three.” Ben confirms.

Batman nods. “These are all dates pertaining to an enemy of mine, Bane. Once again, from various cities all over the United States. I’m positive these have a connection, and I have a name to go off of, but…” That’s when the caped crusader hears the slam of a button and a flash of green light envelops Ben. He turns around quickly to make sense of the commotion, only to behold an entirely new figure having taken Ben’s place: an orange, crab-like thing easily standing above three feet tall, and with a massive head to take up most of that height.

The creature waves one of his pincers, using its other to point to the belt it was wearing right underneath its head; the dial of ben’s omnitrix on full display at the front of the iron strap. “Worry not.” He speaks in a slightly deeper, trilling voice with the hint of a british stiff-upper-lip. “I thought I’d swap over to another more… intellectually gifted form.”

“What do you call this one?” Batman asks rhetorically, not expecting the crab to answer with “Brainstorm, actually”. Upon hearing that, he lets out a sigh and returns his focus to the information at hand.

Before he can get another word in, Brainstorm interrupts.

“Mayhaps it is worth noting every date of Dr. Animo’s appearance ends with a 7, with the exception of any days where it is the 27th. Divisible by three, just like every appearance attributed to your ‘Bane’ figure.”

“Right.” Batman nods, then looks to all of Bane’s dates for a similar pattern. September 6th, missing entirely. September 12th, the very same. “Not a single even number on this list. Divisible by 2.”

“A hint to another cohort in this scheme?” Brainstorm adds. “Or perhaps we’ve fallen into a purposely set rabbithole? This could all be an elaborate ruse; a red herring, if you will.”

“Even if it is-” Batman quickly asserts, “-I can’t ignore the fact that it might not be. If this is intentional, we’re step further into finding the reason behind all this.

“Does that reason mayhaps include that thing that attacked us on the street?” Brainstorm’s thoughts flicker back to just a few hours ago, having been assaulted by that large, somewhat mechanical purple beast. An alien? Mayhaps.

“I don’t know. He seemed more intent on your watch than anything else… still, we can’t strike the idea.”

“Today is the 16th of December. If the pattern holds true-” Brainstorm adds, “-and if Dr. Animo truly is in Gotham, we will see him tomorrow. We best be prepared for such.” Brainstorm gives the dial on his belt a firm press, and with the same flash of green light, Ben returns to normal.

“If you want me to rest here, I will. I don’t mind sleeping on couches. Point is, we should be prepared.”

“Indeed. We should.”

[blackbatpurplecat]

My Thoughts on Batman: Hush (the animated movie)

The story arc Batman: Hush from 2002 was one of the first Batman comics I have ever read and it quickly became one of my all time favorites. I would have given everything to get an animated movie based on it!

Then the adaptation of Batman: The Killing Joke came out and changed everything.

I had to take a closer look at recent DC animated movies and realized their glorious days had been over for a long time. I stopped wishing for an animated movie. One came out anyway. So was I wrong? Was this another loveless adaptation with stiff animation and unnecessary changes?

Right at the start, we see a closeup of Gordon’s hand and he’s wearing his wedding ring on his middle finger so... yup, I’m sure DC invested a lot of money in the film’s production...

I’m gonna assume we all know the comic’s story. We know about BatCat giving their love a try, that Bruce reveals his identity to Selina, that Catwoman pushes Lois Lane off the Daily Planet to help Supes break free from Ivy’s control, how Bruce’s childhood friend Thomas Elliot is killed, how Clayface is mimicking Jason Todd which triggers Batman, that the new villain called Hush actually is Thomas Elliot who had teamed up with Riddler, that Riddler knows who Batman is, and that Batman breaks up with Catwoman because he’s still having trust issues.

Let’s just say the arc is PACKED with story and characters so it shouldn’t be hard to make a movie out of it, right? Sure, I was expecting some changes because of its packed-ness. Not every single subplot and every single character would make the cut, I get it. However, I still wasn’t prepared for what DC turned the story into.

So what were some of those changes and what did I think of them:

- replace Killer Croc with Bane. alright, more people know Bane, it’s fine - replace Huntress with Batgirl. ugggggh, okayyy... more people know Batgirl. I feel bad that this choice removed Oracle’s existence but okay. she had one scene, you already had the character design from that godawful Killing Joke movie and not enough budget to make Huntress, I can see past this - cut Leslie Thompkins. hmmm yessss okay, she wasn’t that essential to the story, alright, I can live with it - cut the entire involvement of the League of Assassins. I’m not the biggest fan of Ra’s al Ghul and co. so I didn’t mind that they reduced it to one cameo of Lady Shiva. HOWEVER she is the world’s best fighter! WHY NOT SHOW HER FIGHTING?! she could have been so much better but they chose to waste her for exposition purposes - make Amanda Waller skinny. yes, they once again turned the baddest bitch into a skinny woman because we can’t have fat people in a Batman movie, no one wants to fuck a fat Waller or jerk it over a fat Waller -__- just get over yourselves, DC you assholes! - Robin was cut entirely. wow. just wow. why do DC hate Robin so much? I don’t get it! - the shit stain rape result popped up in one scene for absolutely no purpose except for poorly establishing a fucked up “continuity” between all recent DC animated movies. something NO ONE in the fucking world wants or needs. just kill that little shit, he serves no purpose, he was annoying as fuck, he wasn’t even created when the original story came out, fuck him, delete him, stop shoe horning him into every Batman-related thing, he’s useless - cut the entire Jason Todd part. again, why the Robin hate?! it was one of the most emotional parts of the story, why cut it?! - cut the BatCat scenes in the cave, including Alfred telling Selina that he thinks the world of her. no words except for “what a disappointment” - change the entire ending and make it worse. S I G H

So Thomas Elliot was just a red herring for everyone who’s read the comics. Instead of Hush having a personal connection to Bruce and having more complex reasons to kill him, we get Riddler who wants to kill him just because he can. Cool. But seriously, who thought that this would make a satisfying ending?!

Kidnap Catwoman, make her the damsel in distress, have Batman come save her, and kill the bad guy - sounds like a quality script to me...

But apart from the poorly written ending, I have a major problem with what the movie focuses on: the Batman x Catwoman romance.

A huge reason why I love the comic is the BatCat relationship. It’s the first time, Batman kisses Catwoman back, it’s Bruce willingly revealing his secret to Selina to include her in his ENTIRE life and trust her with his life. We see them work together really well, we see how Selina loves Bruce but also doesn’t give up her independence. She’s willing to be by his side but won’t turn into his sidekick or change into a to him more “convenient” version of herself. And most importantly, she understands and appreciates and loves Bruce for his moral code.

DC being DC, they of course only half-ass their biggest romance.

While I did enjoy the added BatCat footage like Bruce and Selina in bed (I LoVeD that Selina sounded like they had just had the wildest most erotic experience ever while she was still wearing a shirt and he was wearing his boxers and both Selina and Bruce looked stiff as boards o_O ), having breakfast together, sharing kisses, taking down thugs together, and just the entire pacing indicated that their relationship grew over a longer time period in comparison to the comic, the movie fucked up essential points which I won’t forgive.

Catwoman was portrayed as a murderous, reckless villain. There’s no way around it. It was HER who threw Lois off a building and Bats chided her for it (IN THE COMICS IT WAS HIS IDEA), he has to hold her back from scratching up a bad guy’s face, she cuts the line holding Riddler so he falls to his death (CATWOMAN ACTIVELY KILLS HERE), and in the end, she angrily accuses Bruce of being absolutely insane because he has a moral code to keep himself from becoming what he’s fighting against.

What the flying fuck?!

That ending pissed me off SO MUCH! In the comic’s story arc, Batman breaks it off due to trust issues and it did seem a bit rushed and irrational just to re-establish the comics’ status quo of “Batman has to be single” but it’s a SO MUCH BETTER REASON than what the movie gives us! Catwoman has no problem with killing (one of the reasons I hate Nolan’s interpretation of her) and doesn’t understand Bruce AT ALL, she doesn’t get him as a person, she doesn’t understand that he wants to SAVE and PROTECT. He sums it up quite well, if there’s a chance to save someone, he has to at least try. That’s the hopeful Bruce we rarely see because DC fanboys are all about grim gritty edgy brutal.

And then they part on “maybe we’ll see things the same someday” a.k.a. Catwoman hopes that Batman will someday have NO problem with killing. Fuck. You.

So in this movie, Selina was a reckless murderess, a damsel in distress, and of course willing to change herself for a man and not for herself. Big round of applause for shitting on Catwoman.

Alright, done with my rant on story-related shit. What else was there?

Yes, the additional BatCat scenes were nice as well as the interaction between Catwoman and Nightwing. Just Nightwing in general was awesome. A true BatCat shipper.

The dialogues were bad. Best example is the post-sex one.

I can’t say much about the music, it was so bland that I have already forgotten it.

The animation ranged from nice to fucking bad. They had clearly put more effort into the fighting scenes when the movements were fluid and smooth - and then you get back to stiff, dead characters and nothing moves on them except their mouths. I couldn’t help but compare the shots to the comic’s pages: Superman and Poison Ivy, Joker on the trashcan, the big BatCat kiss - they all looked fucking ICONIC in the books but so boring and bland in the movie, with a color palette that covered mostly black and gray. There was absolutely nothing memorable about the adaptation’s look and style.

(also: yes, we totally needed ivy kissing catwoman so all the fanboys have jerk material again and harley quinn’s costume reveals her shoulders now? what a mUcH nEeDeEd change to the costume, yes, well done)

Also the pacing was weird, there were SO many awkward pauses in-between dialogues. I cringed way too often watching this.

Which brings me to the voice-acting. Did DC have so little faith in one of their most iconic stories that they didn’t even bother to get Conroy + Hamill? I guess so. Once Upon a Time star Jennifer Morrison did a great job at being Catwoman, her voice was a really good choice! Also Sean Maher as Nightwing was a riot. Jason Spisak was a surprisingly good Joker as well as Hynden Walch as Harley Quinn - but how do you cast Tara Strong and NOT give her Harley?!

The biggest dud however was Jason O’Mara again. He has no range at all, he keeps his voice as monotonous as possible ALL THE FRICKING TIME. There’s no Bruce Wayne voice, no Batman voice, he just grumbles everything without any emotions behind it.

Well, I guess that was it. I could go into more detail about every single thing they changed but I think this review is long enough as it is already. ;)

Would I recommend the animated adaptation of Batman: Hush? Maybe. To me, it was an expected letdown because DC’s animated movies are almost on the same very low level of the live-action movies nowadays, so if you’d ask me “should I watch it?”, I’d say “if you like BatCat, yes BUT read the comic first and don’t expect too much from the movie.”

[bookdragonlibrary]

Fourth Friday YJ appreciation

1-3 ; 4-6 ; 7-9 ; 10-13 ; 14-16 ; 17 ; 18 ; 19 ; 20 ; 21 ; 22 ; 23 ; 24-26

—————————— Exceptional Human Beings

- Is this... Batman works with Oracle. It’s the same tech than Nightwing! 

- Yes! These is Katana and Metamorpho! I already love Metamorpho facial expressions! The scene from the trailer! Santa Prisca, Bane’s island! They’re so efficient! (Yeah, I have in mind the first time of the Team on the Island...) 

- Is it thanks to Jade’s intel? So they will save Tara? :D

- Victor Stone? So this is Dr Silas Stone! I saw the movie, I know Dr Stone wont have time to go... Oh! The Reach tech is back!

- And it’s Steel or John Irons. (Why every person choosing a English name comes with John?)

- Did... did Metamorpho just turn himself into a fart? Seriously? Katana in the background and the indignated face of Metamorpho xD

- Sex implied, definitely mature content... Is it really the time to talk about Dick? You know what I mean... Wait, was that a joke? Like a subtext joke? 

- Training Time! Forager’s sounds are so funny! 

- Violet fell because she was blushing and Brion uses his powers because he was blushing. They’re cute! :3 

- Nightwing definitely knows Batman is on Santa Prisca already and knows Brion will likely get himself killed with his actual combat skills...

- Deathstroke in the place. Oh she’s Cassandra, Savage’s daughter (yeah a lot of Cassandra this season!) 

- She knows Tara! Now she’s is used by Granny Goodness... And Cassandra seems to... like her? She is a different character than Scandal (who is lesbian) right? Because I don’t want our first rep to be a pedophilic rapist, thank you very much... We already had Slade for that in Judas Contract... 

- “I have observed that.” Definitely thinking about her sister Olympia :(

-  Victor’s team! “I would ask Wonder Woman out!” “Me Black Canary” *Vctor rolls his eyes* Are we wasting screentime for straight idiots? (and I mean it in both ways) Just a question: do you think Victor could be gay with his reactions to the “straights comments”?

- “Cisco, a superhero?!” Well, Francisco Ramon will be a superhero one day (but I don’t know his powers yet.) Don’t worry my dear, a lot of people love Zatanna! He’s a Spanish speaker, from where? 

- Victor don’t appreciate the bullying but not interfere :( But he’s so above their shit! 

- Boo-yah is back! I can’t believe they also gave this easter egg! 

- Batman or how burn someone with only words! xD

- “I always hated that name too!” Why don’t you change for you mother name, Arty? :( 

- Violet Harper, I love how the writers connect the dots between the comics and what happens on the show! 

- JADE! I love how she’s smiling, like she considerates it. We know she would love that. Why could hold her back? How could she think they don’t need her? Because of her father? Football... er I mean soccer is just a lame excuse! She’s crying! She definitely loves them! :’(

- Katana VS Lady Shiva! OMG Katana also uses a wakizashi (a short saber) with her katana like a samouraï :o 

- “Bulletproof. That’s annoying” We already know that line but still funny xD So Metamorpho isn’t fireproof? That’s his true form! 

- Oracle time! 

- “No, no my guns!” Seriously Bane? Metamorpho just blows them a kiss xD

- Booyah! Someone is still using the goggles... Poor Vic :( “I see great things in your future” while showing a FatherBox. I don’t like it... I know the story but still don’t like it...

- Brucely! (Or Bruce Lee?) Such a good boy!

By the way, Katana never talks. She took a vow of silence after her sensei dies.

—————————— Another Freak 

- First, I don’t like the title. I dislike even more the wiring from the Reach tech... 

- There’s a bad father/son relationship (I mean with fights) each season, isn’t there? “Scene/seen. Now you’re boying me?” I love the dialogue! I know I could hate the wiring... The “dad” at the end broke my heart :’(

- “But Brion Markov’s attitude will soon change! :D” Forager knows what’s going on between those two. Forager is a Haloforce shipper! Human Forager is so cute!! “Be careful on the boys! They only have one thing on their mind!” “What one thing?” *embarassed Brion* “If we arrive with the councelor and the principal, all the other kids will love us!” My poor summer child... “No flying at school!” xD

- After gory Halo, here’s gory Victor :( And here comes the Fatherbox so bad news?

- “I’m so happy to be here it makes me sick” Violet is still dealing with human emotions. Stay whelmed! Or could it be the Fatherbox? 

- Is that Terra with blue hair?? And... freckles? (she has the same character design that in the animated movie) Oh she’s Harper Row. My bad. The whole conversation was hilarious and cute!

- Victor’s still alive!

- Of course, access denied. Nightwing knows he would do it. He did it as Robin first! And of course Nightwing appears! And now they’re fighting...but with it Brion could speak his heart out.

- “How they could know us if they don’t interact with us?” I know Forager. Most human are most judgmental at first sight... 

- “Are Violet and Fred freaks?” Oh no sweetie don’t think that :( “But Fred must look like a freak...” He refers to his human form. It’s logical. Would you feel like yourself in an alien form? “Freak is cool.” Exactly! “Two hands only” xD

- Victor is freaking out. Naturally. So... he goes... violet when the fatherbox takes control? Like he calls to be heal.  So the violet color has a reverse meaning for a fatherbow than for a motherbox, logical as they are the two faces of the same coin.

- Harper is so sweet! 

- Whoa new aura: indigo (between blue and violet). So we still don’t know what blue aura does (and black aura, but I’m not sure it exists). What does it do? She opened a Boom tube? 

- “I’m not an abomination. I’m a freak.” That’s the spirit. That’s my girl! 

- Pleasedon’tmurderhalo! pleasedon’tmurderhalo! Yes! She’s okay! 

- She’s healing him! Poor Vic, he’s so confused. “My work here is done.” Violet is so cute! 

- Silas trying to find a common thing with Vic is sweet but yeah.. Vic would feel like a rat lab, ask Ed. “Can I go with you?” His voice was so heartbreaking :( Victor prefers to leave to not hurt his father again :( Yeah he’s angry, it’s understanding. At least, he’s alive right? 

- Kind of ironic they boomed tube in a football field...

- Brion is finally moving forward! :D 

- Lobo’s finger begins to morph. Slobo on the way!

—————————— Nightmare Monkeys

- Tork from Mars, seriously? xD M’Comm should be so pissed... 

Was that the Wilhelm scream? 

- “I have practice” My heart :( 

- it’s Paul who played Conner in Hello Megan! What time had done to you? Gar’s look when they talked about Marie :( Paul is his godfather! And Rita his godmother. Steven is his stepfather? That means he was with Rita, right? He’s Mento? “Thanks God.” I think they both don’t like the situation but still try to play their part... 

- I don’t know if this seashell alien is real or just a costume...

- We were right! Halo IS a Motherbox! What happen to the script? Now we can predict things :( She’s... the reincarnation of the dead Motherbox Doctor X and Psimon studied. So Queen Bee works with Vertigo, since Psimon works for Quee Bee. So Gabrielle Daou consciousness died, murdered by Bedlam’s minions and the Motherbox soul regenerates/resurected in her body because she needed a vessel. But Violet still has some of Gabrielle’s memories via the brain, but maybe not her thoughts or emotions?

- I love the Emerald Crown teasing! Was Gar talking about his mother(s) when he said queen? That needle doesn’t seem good...

- “And now he tells you to be patient...” xD 

Sphere, stay whelmed! And... the Fatherbow is awake again... And... Conner is shirtless again... Halo has clearly no idea what she’s doing. So cute she calms Sphere down :)

- So that doesn”t sound good... Encino, what/where that could be? 

- “He’s dead, Tom.” What that the voice of... WALLY??? And all the dead heroes in the grotto... I mean Watchtower garden.

- Great! Supermartian know how to communicate now :) “Alone time” Weren’t you have a “intimate” time in a bathroom two episodes ago? “Date night/Secret base” Yeah Wolf me too. They got the communication, not the understanding...

- “The Reach... I mean the Klamulons” seriously? 

- Tula, Ted Kord, Jason, was that the chronological order? I thought Ted was the last one. That’s why in season Tim went to Jason’s hologramme. Ted Kord died during the Summer break and they were in February. So Tim was a really young Robin! 

- Wally speaks to casually about their death. “Who’s next? Guess it’s me.” Does that mean he’s not dead yet? But could soon be? Wally’s death scene reminds me how good the previous style was... RIP too! “Cancel the show already?” I heard the 4th wall break down.

- DOOM PATROL GO! WHAT’S THE HECK?The 4th wall is collapsing in a firy explosion. 

- Garfield also collapsed. AAAAAAAAAAAAAH! 

Rita Aka Elasticgirl with Starfire’s voice. Chief with Robin’s voice. Robotman with Cyborg’s voice (more like Cyborg’s father xD), Negative Woman with Raven’s voice. 

- Steve Dayton is indeed Rita’s husband; So Rita adopted Garfield when Marie died? She did! 

- “Sorry your mom(s?) died!” The song. “Just say goodbye to your second mom!” Rita and Marie were together? Was Rita bi/pan? “Let’s die!” 

- Of course M’gann save the day, back with her season 1 appearance. The whole Mento’s speech is how Gar sees the situation right? Not the truth right? “I was 14.” Wait, all of this (except Marie’s death) only happen last year? 

- M’gann is there to save her brother!

“Sure you’re even born yet?” This joke could also work with Bart. Man, if Bart was in that episode... 

- “Queen Bee wants her honey back!” That was a lesbian joke right? The first rep of this season would be Queen Bee? Being Bi? (Why in English bi is pronounced like by and not bee? Do you see the missed joke here?) 

- “Let’s watch the episode you were in.” Season 2. The pieces of the 4th wall break again. 

- “Shut it down.” “I can’t hear a heartbeat.” He meant the channel, not the heart, Wally. Wait, was it a death wish because Gar can’t handle with all the mourning happening in a few minutes? 

- Reminder: Beast Boy’s metagene was activated by Martian transfusion and a bite from a green monkey. 

- Mass conservation? Is it a clue for Wally’s return? Like his mass was conserved somewhere when he was desintegrated? A place where he can save Garfield from the Goggles? How can Gar remember Wally’s death if he wasn’t even there?! But he appears as the green monkey to show a parallel? Between the monkey and blood transfusion saving him and Wally saving him now? 

- Come back as a hero my boy! 

- “Are you real or is this all in my head?” Ask Dumbledore, kid.

- M’gann is in the place! White but with a green aura. 

- Yes, I think it was a distraction to cope with all the trauma. 

- “Ready to get back to reality. Ready to get back to the life.” hero life? It was both litteral and metaphorical. 

- Perdita who don’t understand the Team’s slang :) Gar, did you teach anything to her? 

- Garfield finally understand that Gretchen is a bad guy. But it feels off as we already know it. The Evolution episode should have happen after this I think? 

- Emerald Crown is so cute! Their kiss was ok, but why M’gann are you doing the same in front of your brother?

- Haloforce kiss! After we finally understand who Violet is! But I would like to see the moment which brings to the kiss :(

- Sphere!

- Of course Wally won’t come back until part b or even the end of the season, will he?

—————————— True Heroes

- It’s Halloween! Halo and Forager are adorable as usual. 

- Poor Vic :( Halloween cancel and Violet can’t come :( Forager drives bioship xD (Such a weird sentence...) 

- Tara is 15, same age than Bart and Gar.

- Dr Jace had a little girl. who was taken from her. Was she meta? It’s thay why she started to work with Bedlam? To have intel to find her? Or did Bedlam blackmail her to make her work for him? That’s why she’s is so overprotecting with the kids? 

- “You’re be my little girl for tonight.” That sounds creepy, right? 

- “I know I said pretend I’m not here but I’m.” Yeah, Dr Jace, maybe not the best way to explain where the teenager hormones lead to... 

- “Vulnerable” weaks the Fatherbox up. Great. And it’s because she is vulnerable, Dr Jace tries to be closer?

- Cameron (Icycle Jr) and the Terror Twins grew up so much... And not in a good way. I miss the Twins’ design in season 1. They get uglier each season, bad guy cliche. But Tommy could be the Bad Blue Beetle from Bart’s future, they have quite the same morphology and Queen Bee sold Chimmer to the Reach, why not him too? 

- Holocaust?

- Wolf attacking the Fatherrbox. 

Dr Jace just took a violet ray and if they’re like Halo’s yellow one she should be badly injured... Not just inconscious. 

- Emotions turn off Halo’s powers? They just activated them! 

- Earth VS FIre. Terra lost :( 

- Stay Whelmed, Brion! 

- Psimon out! Wait, did just Devastation called him baby? 

- Tara is free!

- And Holocaust is with a Queen Bee’s minions. 

- Family reunion!

- YJ is now a scary movie. Maybe it’s just panic which shut down Halo’s powers? Fight Vic! “The problem is I had too much.” So it was panic. Now save him!

- Yeah, go save the other kids! 

- The conversation between Junior and SB is so chill (no pun intended) and funny. “She was my girl.” “But I was into her.” Dudes, it’s not a competition or a race, just let the girl decide maybe? 

- “Maybe that means there’s hope for me too!” Redeem arc foreshadowing? 

- “Ow.” Junior plays dead. 

- Can we appreciate SB’s combat style? 

- Princess speech! 

- The Black girl speaks French? Who they could be? Anita?

- League and Team squads were successful” I wish we could have seen them :( 

- Dr Jace activated Tara’s metagene on the blackmailing to kill her :o 

- Princess speech! :D 

- Violet cry of joy is so cute! :) 

- “M’gann’s gonna kill me.” xD 

- Wait, why is Dr Jace taking Violet’s, hair? 

- “They’re ready for the Team!” We’re gonna go our children back! But maybe give Tara some rest?

- “I’m in.” So we go for the Judas Contract storyline? Or that is a mislead?

- Wolf in the Bioship!

5 months to wait now :( 

[theangelofvengeance]

Fox McCloud Injustice 2 Intros

If Fox McCloud was a special guest fighter for Injustice 2, this is what his intros to each fighter would look like:

(Aquaman)

Aquaman: Not smart challenging an Atlantean. Fox McCloud: What can I say? I dig a challenge. Aquaman: Let's see if you're ready. Aquaman: You're in a fight you don't understand. Fox McCloud: I'm always ready no matter what the risk is. Aquaman: Allow me to welcome you properly! Fox McCloud: Why did you side with Superman? Aquaman: I won't be judged for defending Atlantis! Fox McCloud: Either way, you'll answer for your crimes. Fox McCloud: So this is Aquaman. Aquaman: At your service. Fox McCloud: Been kissing Superman's butt lately?

(Atrocitus) Atrocitus: Unleash your anger! Fox McCloud: I will if you keep ticking me off. Atrocitus: I was hoping you'd say that. Atrocitus: The pain of loss burns you. Fox McCloud: At least my father's death gave me purpose. Atrocitus: Like so many children... ungrateful! Fox McCloud: Well, somebody's a bit moody. Atrocitus: Be silent, boy! Fox McCloud: Let's see if I can cheer you up. Fox McCloud: Can't you talk about something besides rage? Atrocitus: You don't command me, rodent! Fox McCloud: A simple "No" would've been fine, Atrocitus!

(Atom) Atom: An anthropomorphic fox? Fox McCloud: The name's Fox McCloud, Leader of StarFox. Atom: I can tell this will be mighty interesting. Atom: What could be more fun than studying physics? Fox McCloud: Don't really get your question, Atom. Atom: Let me show you what I mean. Fox McCloud: Whoa, how did you do that? Atom: Just a Ph.D with a quantum biobelt! Fox McCloud: Slippy would kill for gadgets like yours. Fox McCloud: I bet it wasn't wise to fight me. Atom: Are you saying this is going to hurt? Fox McCloud: Only if you want me to, Atom.

(Batman) Batman: It's not too late to walk away. Fox McCloud: I'm always ready, no matter what the risk is. Batman: We'll see. Batman: I'll give you something to fear. Fox McCloud: What is left to fear for me, Batman? Batman: You're about to find out. Fox McCloud: The legendary Dark Knight. Batman: I need to know what you can do. Fox McCloud: Proving people wrong is what I do. Fox McCloud: Ever seen the way I can fight? Batman: I doubt it can surprise me. Fox McCloud: Proving people wrong is what I do.

(Bane) Bane: The Leader of Star Fox. Fox McCloud: Ah, and you must be a janitor. Bane: Fine. Joke before you die. Bane: Do not trifle with me. Fox McCloud: I will if you keep ticking me off. Bane: You will make a mighty fine rug, McCloud. Fox McCloud: Shouldn't you be in a wrestling ring? Bane: You are very funny. Fox McCloud: You're going down 1-2-3, Bane. Fox McCloud: Can't understand the tubes around you. Bane: My venom will be the least of your worries. Fox McCloud: Just don't get it around me.

(Black Adam) Black Adam: Leader of Star Fox. Fox McCloud: And you must be a discount Superman. Black Adam: On his behalf, I will kill you. Black Adam: I'll lead the new Regime. Fox McCloud: Get this straight: We don't want you! Black Adam: Then dethrone me if you can. Fox McCloud: Your tyranny is unforgivable! Black Adam: My rule is strict but fair. Fox McCloud: Your wife wouldn't think so. Fox McCloud: How can you hurt so many people? Black Adam: They brought it out on themselves! Fox McCloud: You're as heartless as Andross is!

(Black Canary) Black Canary: It's a look, I'll give you that. Fox McCloud: A pilot like me is always suited for battle. Black Canary: You don't say. Black Canary: Anything you wanna discuss? Fox McCloud: You sure it's wise to fight in ladies' shoes? Black Canary: Now you're really gonna get hurt. Fox McCloud: May I have this dance, malady? Black Canary: Ladies first. How polite. Fox McCloud: Yeah, Krystal seems to think so. Fox McCloud: You'd be a great member of Star Fox. Black Canary: I can't take breathing in space. Fox McCloud: Not too late to try, Miss Canary.

(Black Lightning) Black Lightning: Space pilot, huh? Fox McCloud: I'm one of the best, Black Lightning. Black Lightning: Think you can handle a few volts? Black Lightning: So you're a fellow Social Justice Warrior? Fox McCloud: The name's Fox McCloud, leader of Star Fox. Black Lightning: Class is now in session. Fox McCloud: I bet it wasn't wise fighting me. Black Lightning: Black Lightning's not one to back down. Fox McCloud: Nor will I, Black Lightning. Fox McCloud: Wait, you draw Lightning too? Black Lightning: I've seen you met Black Adam. Fox McCloud: Like I haven't suffered enough sparks...

(Black Manta) Black Manta: I'll gut you like a fish. Fox McCloud: That blade ain't touching me. EVER. Black Manta: You'll take that pride to the grave. Black Manta: Catching you was easy. Fox McCloud: Too bad killing me won't be possible, Manta. Black Manta: That's about to be confirmed. Fox McCloud: You have quite a weird shaped head. Black Manta: This helmet is my life's work. Fox McCloud: Let's see how far I can throw it. Fox McCloud: You're lucky my crew ain't here. Black Manta: Why the hell should I know, McCloud? Fox McCloud: Because they might have to hold you down, Manta.

(Blue Beetle) Blue Beetle: Is this necessary? Fox McCloud: Batman did send me here, so... Blue Beetle: Guess that means I gotta win. Blue Beetle: Wow. Meeting you is so cool. Fox McCloud: Nice to see you're a fan of me. Blue Beetle: Mind if we get a picture after? Fox McCloud: Interesting outfit you got. Blue Beetle: With a war machine on my spine. Fox McCloud: You mean that big bug on your back? Fox McCloud: You'd be a great member of Star Fox. Blue Beetle: You really think so? Fox McCloud: Let's see if you can fly with the best.

(Brainiac) Brainiac: It is better to be collected than killed. Fox McCloud: Corneria will never be yours, Brainiac! Brainiac: That's soon to be true, McCloud. Brainiac: Facing me is a fatal error. Fox McCloud: I'm always ready, no matter what the risk is. Brainiac: Your defeat will be painful. Fox McCloud: Keep your tentacles away from me. Brainiac: Then surrender planet Corneria now. Fox McCloud: I won't let you have it, Brain-dead. Fox McCloud: You're sending me back home. Brainiac: Who are you to command me? Fox McCloud: Don't make me say it louder, Brainiac!

(Captain Cold) Captain Cold: You would've made a badass Rogue. Fox McCloud: Like I'll be a criminal with the likes of you. Captain Cold: Then get ready to be hibernated. Captain Cold: Frost warning. Fox McCloud: If I can handle the cold, I can handle you. Captain Cold: Well that changes everything. Fox McCloud: You brought a weapon to a fist fight? Captain Cold: This gun can stop the Flash. Fox McCloud: I doubt that can hurt me, Frosty. Fox McCloud: How can you hurt so many people? Captain Cold: I take what's mine and I don't apologize. Fox McCloud: Then I won't feel sorry kicking your butt.

(Catwoman) Catwoman: Think you can handle a few scars? Fox McCloud: I'm always ready, no matter what the risk is. Catwoman: Let me give you a dose of reality. Catwoman: Cats beat foxes every time. Fox McCloud: Won't be true until you beat me, Catwoman. Catwoman: Well, if that's how you wanna play this... Fox McCloud: I heard you were with the Regime. Catwoman: Everyone deserves a second chance. Fox McCloud: Sure, I'll believe it when I see it. Fox McCloud: This must be Selina Kyle. Catwoman: Fancy meeting you here, darling. Fox McCloud: Let's see you give Katt a run for her money.

(Cheetah) Cheetah: The most dangerous game of all. Fox McCloud: One that you aint never gonna win. Cheetah: I need only my claws. Cheetah: Mmmmm, I love your fur. Fox McCloud: I'm harder to skin than to kill, Minerva. Cheetah: Let me welcome you, properly. Fox McCloud: How can you hurt so many people? Cheetah: I will not weep for humanity. Fox McCloud: You're gonna cry regardless, Cheetah. Fox McCloud: You're giving me cat scratch fever already. Cheetah: You won't joke once I have your tongue. Fox McCloud: It'll be just twice as funny.

(Cyborg) Cyborg: Superman wants you gone. Fox McCloud: Why? You kiss Superman's butt with that mouth? Cyborg: That was your last chance! Cyborg: Why have you come here, McCloud? Fox McCloud: I'm stopping your boss one way or another! Cyborg: Not after I bust the hell out of you! Fox McCloud: You must be proud of your little dictator. Cyborg: Because I know we did the right thing. Fox McCloud: Having him murder a kid wasn't! Fox McCloud: I feel sorry for your father. Cyborg: It's because of him I'm like this! Fox McCloud: Maybe because what he did was an accident!

(Darkseid)

Darkseid: Fox McCloud. Fox McCloud: I don't fear you one bit, Darkseid. Darkseid: Your lack of fear displays ignorance, not bravado. Darkseid: Surrender to Darkseid or face death. Fox McCloud: I won't do neither of the kind. Darkseid: I think you're gonna reconsider, fool! Fox McCloud: How can you hurt so many people? Darkseid: I hate all creatures, great and small. Fox McCloud: Either way, you'll answer for your crimes! Fox McCloud: Should've turned back sooner. Darkseid: And why should that worry me? Fox McCloud: You're as heartless as Andross is!

(Deadshot) Deadshot: Found me a nice fox-skinned rug. Fox McCloud: I doubt those bullets will touch me. Deadshot: Ehhh... I'll try anything once. Deadshot: The hero's gig not for amateurs. Fox McCloud: I'm a full-fledged space pilot, Deadshot. Deadshot: Too bad your brain's going out of orbit. Fox McCloud: I'm guessing you're some kind of mercenary. Deadshot: That sounds about right. Fox McCloud: And here I thought Wolf was the worst. Fox McCloud: How could you hurt so many people? Deadshot: I got nothing to live for. Fox McCloud: You can't solve problems with bullets.

(Doctor Fate) Doctor Fate: Fox McCloud, leader of Star Fox. Fox McCloud: You gonna send me back to my universe? Doctor Fate: You are too late. Doctor Fate: The lords know your fate. Fox McCloud: Do I get married to Krystal or what? Doctor Fate: You will fail. Fox McCloud: Never met a fortune teller before. Doctor Fate: I gaze beyond the horizon of time. Fox McCloud: Does it involve me getting a way out of here? Fox McCloud: Batman told me you're Kent Nelson. Doctor Fate: You will speak with Nabu. Fox McCloud: So... you changed your name?

(Enchantress) June Moone: She can smell death on you. Fox McCloud: Obviously you haven't met Andross yet. Enchantress: I'll end you on his behalf, McCloud. June Moone: Please, Fox... get her away from me. Fox McCloud: I'll save you even if I can, June. Enchantress: Try me, Mr. High and Mighty. Fox McCloud: You're lucky my crew ain't here. Enchantress: Are they too scared to face the torment? Fox McCloud: More like they can overcome it, Enchantress. Fox McCloud: The wicked witch of lamedom. Enchantress: Watch your tongue, mortal! Fox McCloud: Like heck I'm gonna do that.

(The Flash) The Flash: You really think you're fast enough? Fox McCloud: Won't know until you fight me, man. The Flash: Allow me to prove you wrong. The Flash: I'm the fastest man alive. Fox McCloud: The name's Fox McCloud, leader of Star Fox. The Flash: Allow me to prove you wrong. Fox McCloud: You must be the scarlet speedster. The Flash: Yeah, it's kinda my thing. Fox McCloud: Think you can beat the speed of my Arwing? Fox McCloud: I heard you were with the Regime. The Flash: Yeah, I got a lot to regret. Fox McCloud: Let's see if you can be trusted, Flash.

(Bizarro) Bizarro: Bizarro hug pet fox! Fox McCloud: Yeah... not gonna happen. Bizarro: Bizarro not like big words. Bizarro: Am you Bizarro's friend? Fox McCloud: I got no idea how to respond to that one. Bizarro: Me love friends. Fox McCloud: You Lex Luthor's kid? Bizarro: Me father's only child. Fox McCloud: Summed that up to a T, Bizarro. Fox McCloud: I can't understand what's with you. Bizarro: Me fight for lies, injustice, a-merry-can way! Fox McCloud: Yep. Definitely landed in the wrong Earth.

(Firestorm) Firestorm: Where you from again? Fox McCloud: From Planet Corneria. Why you ask? Firestorm: Wanna know where I'm kicking your ass to. Firestorm: No way you can handle these flames, Fox. Fox McCloud: I'm always ready, no matter what the risk is. Firestorm: Prepare to get burned. Fox McCloud: Not really a big fan of fire. Firestorm: Afraid you'll get burned? Fox McCloud: I don't like my tail getting singed. Fox McCloud: I bet it wasn't wise fighting me. Firestorm: I'm ready to fight with fire. Fox McCloud: Don't cry when you get burned.

(Gorilla Grodd) Gorilla Grodd: Your talents could be useful. Fox McCloud: I rather be sucked through a black hole than join you. Gorilla Grodd: If you're not with me, you're dead. Gorilla Grodd: There's a place for you in the Society. Fox McCloud: Says pretty much a second-rate Andross. Gorilla Grodd: I'll roast you through an open flame, McCloud. Fox McCloud: How could you hurt so many people? Gorilla Grodd: Ending humanity is a kindness! Fox McCloud: You're as heartless as Andross is! Fox McCloud: You're lucky my crew ain't here. Gorilla Grodd: Why does that matter, McCloud? Fox McCloud: Otherwise you're getting flinged like number 2.

(Green Arrow) Green Arrow: What earth they snatch you from? Fox McCloud: From Planet Corneria. Why you ask? Green Arrow: Never exactly heard of it. Green Arrow: Well, this is gonna be good. Fox McCloud: Yep, only for me that is. Green Arrow: Geez, spoiler alert... Fox McCloud: How good are you with those arrows? Green Arrow: I know where to place my shots. Fox McCloud: Then be prepared to miss, Arrow. Fox McCloud: You'd be a great member of Star Fox. Green Arrow: I'm not stepping in the middle of that. Fox McCloud: You're right. You wouldn't handle motion sickness.

(Green Lantern) Green Lantern: Always nice to meet a fellow pilot. Fox McCloud: The name's Fox McCloud, leader of Star Fox. Green Lantern: Okay, now it's a contest. Green Lantern: I'll say it... this is awkward. Fox McCloud: Scared I'm gonna kick your butt, Lantern? Green Lantern: Like I'm gonna be frightened by some fox! Fox McCloud: Nice glow-in-the-dark wedding ring. Green Lantern: That's none of your damn business. Fox McCloud: I definitely know what I'm getting Krystal now. Fox McCloud: I heard you were with the Regime. Green Lantern: We've all made mistakes. Fox McCloud: Sure, I'll believe it when I see it.

(Grid) Grid: I can sense your hostility towards me. Fox McCloud: You're a threat to this entire world itself. Grid: The last threat you'll ever see, Fox McCloud. Grid: Why assume you fight me, McCloud? Fox McCloud: Because I've got you on my trail, Grid. Grid: No matter. The trail ends here. Fox McCloud: How could you hurt so many people? Grid: In destroying you, perhaps I will gain emotion. Fox McCloud: Honestly, you're depressing me now. Fox McCloud: You Cyborg's brother? Grid: I am Grid. The last being you will ever see. Fox McCloud: Ah, so it's a 'maybe' then.

(Harley Quinn) Harley Quinn: Aw, aren't you cute. Fox McCloud: Let me guess, was it the way that I look? Harley Quinn: That's the idea, doll. Harley Quinn: You and me? We're going. Fox McCloud: Well, yeah. That's the point, Miss Quinn. Harley Quinn: I'll show you the ropes! Fox McCloud: I bet it wasn't wise fighting me. Harley Quinn: How about slaps and tickles at ten paces? Fox McCloud: Hate to see which one hurts the worse. Fox McCloud: I can't understand what's with you. Harley Quinn: I collect toenail clippings! Fox McCloud: Ugh, didn't need to know that.

(Fox McCloud) Fox McCloud (1): Haha, very funny costume, Falco. Fox McCloud (2): I'm the real Fox McCloud. Not a faker. Fox McCloud (1): Sure, I'll believe it when I see it. Fox McCloud (1): How in the heck are we the same? Fox McCloud (2): Maybe we're cloned and didn't know about it. Fox McCloud (1): No way you're replacing me. Fox McCloud (1): Is this me from this world? Fox McCloud (2): Yeah, except Superman's more evil than Andross. Fox McCloud (1): Yep. Definitely landed in the wrong Earth.

(Donatello) Donatello: I've already figured this fight out. Fox McCloud: Me standing over you in victory? Donatello: Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence. Donatello: Name's Donatello. Who are you? Fox McCloud: The Name's Fox McCloud, leader of Star Fox. Donatello: Totally need to know who that is. Fox McCloud: This'll be over before it begins. Donatello: Good luck proving that theory. Fox McCloud: Proving people wrong is what I do. Fox McCloud: This must be one of the Ninja Turtles. Donatello: And I see you're from this Star Fox group. Fox McCloud: Yep, you'll see why I am, Donatello.

(Hellboy) Hellboy: So where in the hell are you from? Fox McCloud: From Planet Corneria. Why you ask? Hellboy: That some sort of theme park or somethin'? Hellboy: Not used to fighting woodland critters. Fox McCloud: Except one that'll kick your butt? Hellboy: Well, in that case, let's do this. Fox McCloud: I don't think I've seen you before. Hellboy: The name's Hellboy, dumbass. Fox McCloud: Quite the friendly one you are. Fox McCloud: You'd be a great member of Star Fox. Hellboy: I don't think my fist can fit in the arwing. Fox McCloud: Can't hurt to try, Hellboy.

(Jay Garrick) Jay Garrick: I don't see how you plan to win. Fox McCloud: Pure speed and reflexes as always. Jay Garrick: Let me show you what the JSA can do! Jay Garrick: Can't say I never met a fox like you. Fox McCloud: I'm way more than an fox than you'll ever see. Jay Garrick: Let me show you what the JSA can do! Fox McCloud: What's with all the speedfreaks I keep meeting? Jay Garrick: This 'speedfreak' is an original, chum. Fox McCloud: Think you can beat the speed of my arwing? Fox McCloud: Should've turned back sooner. Jay Garrick: Not while I have breath on these lungs. Fox McCloud: Now that's the Star Fox spirit there!

(John Stewart) John Stewart: Think you can beat a Lantern? Fox McCloud: Both in the ground and air, Lantern. John Stewart: We'll see about that, McCloud. John Stewart: This must be the Fox McCloud I've been hearing. Fox McCloud: Hal told me you're some kind of marine. John Stewart: Today I'm your drill instructor. Fox McCloud: You're green like that other guy? John Stewart: We're part of the Green Lantern Corps, McCloud. Fox McCloud: Weird looking club you got. Fox McCloud: I bet it wasn't wise fighting me. John Stewart: A soldier does what it takes. Fox McCloud: Now that's the Star Fox spirit there!

(The Joker) The Joker: Here's a news flash: Life is a meaningless joke. Fox McCloud: Too bad you don't give them enough, Joker. The Joker: Like it matters... The Joker: You're such a cute little fox. Fox McCloud: You're looking to skin me or something? The Joker: My knife's plenty sharp enough! Fox McCloud: Is killing Metropolis what you did "fun"? The Joker: Gotta do something to amuse me, you know? Fox McCloud: You're as heartless as Andross is! Fox McCloud: Batman's told me all about you, Joker. The Joker: They call me an influencer, an icon! Fox McCloud: How about criminally sick instead?

(Leonardo) Leonardo: You got cajones taking me on, McCloud. Fox McCloud: I'm always ready, no matter what the risk is. Leonardo: Ready for a lesson in turtle power? Leonardo: You got nothing on a Ninja Turtle. Fox McCloud: And you ain't got nothing on Star Fox. Leonardo: I admit, you got me there. Fox McCloud: This must be one of the Ninja Turtles. Leonardo: And you must be Fox McCloud. Fox McCloud: Let's see if you can fly with the best. Fox McCloud: This'll be over before it begins. Leonardo: It's nothing a Ninja Turtle can't handle! Fox McCloud: Now that's the Star Fox spirit there!

(Michelangelo) Michelangelo: This is gonna be totally wicked. Fox McCloud: I doubt you can beat me with that shell. Michelangelo: Only if you got cheat codes, dude. Michelangelo: Let's skip this, I'm starving. Fox McCloud: Only when the fight's over, Michelangelo. Michelangelo: Almost got away with that one. Fox McCloud: This must be one of the Ninja Turtles. Michelangelo: I'll show you why I am, Fox. Fox McCloud: Now that's the Star Fox spirit there! Fox McCloud: Should've turned back sooner. Michelangelo: Seems like a really bad idea, bro. Fox McCloud: Then I won't feel sorry kicking your butt.

(Mr. Freeze) Mr. Freeze: You are a rare specimen. Fox McCloud: Why on earth would you ask me that, Freeze? Mr. Freeze: I would gladly trade your life for Nora's. Mr. Freeze: My gun will freeze you in your tracks. Fox McCloud: If I can handle the cold, I can handle you. Mr. Freeze: That assumption is flawed. Fox McCloud: You're coming with me, Mr. Freeze. Mr. Freeze: Hell would freeze over first. Fox McCloud: Sounds like a good idea, cueball. Fox McCloud: How could you hurt so many people? Mr. Freeze: I'm a scientist, not a psychopath! Fox McCloud: Either way, you'll answer for your crimes!

(Poison Ivy) Poison Ivy: You're an abomination. Fox McCloud: You're a threat to this entire world itself. Poison Ivy: That's not what the plants tell me. Poison Ivy: One kiss for luck? Fox McCloud: Sorry, that's Krystal's job, Ivy. Poison Ivy: She won't notice. Fox McCloud: You're a disgrace to mother nature. Poison Ivy: I would die for the green. Fox McCloud: Please, even THEY don't want you. Fox McCloud: You really are that beautiful. Poison Ivy: Really? And what do you see? Fox McCloud: Back at Arkham where you belong.

(Power Girl) Power Girl: I don't believe we've met. Fox McCloud: The name's Fox McCloud, leader of Star Fox. Power Girl: Let me show you what I'm made of. Power Girl: I'm not comfortable fighting pets. Fox McCloud: I'll show you I'm no 'pet', Power Girl. Power Girl: Sure, that's one way of putting it. Fox McCloud: You'd be a great member of Star Fox. Power Girl: I'm perfectly fine flying without a plane. Fox McCloud: Hope you can handle the pressure. Fox McCloud: I'll bet it wasn't wise fighting me. Power Girl: You can't handle this much woman! Fox McCloud: Trust me, you should meet Krystal.

(Raiden) Raiden: Will you aid in this realm's protection? Fox McCloud: I'm always ready, no matter what the risk is. Raiden: Then show me your skills, Fox McCloud. Raiden: I am Raiden, God of Thunder. Fox McCloud: The name's Fox McCloud, leader of Star Fox. Raiden: We must prepare ourselves in Kombat. Fox McCloud: Whoa. Who must this be? Raiden: You speak with Raiden, protector of Earthrealm. Fox McCloud: That's one heck of a catchy title. Fox McCloud: Why are we meeting here, Raiden? Raiden: You would need allies in the coming war. Fox McCloud: Good thing I got Star Fox with me then.

(Raphael) Raphael: Ever tried a smackdown by Raphael? Fox McCloud: Please, even Falco would beat ya. Raphael: Prove it, fool. Raphael: You're going to Beatdown City. Fox McCloud: Heh, good luck taking me there. Raphael: Only because you wanted to, Fox. Fox McCloud: I can't understand what's with you. Raphael: I run a delivery service... for pain! Fox McCloud: Can't imagine what that feels like. Fox McCloud: This must be one of the Ninja Turtles. Raphael: I'm the toughest one of the bunch. Fox McCloud: Now that's the Star Fox spirit there!

(Red Hood) Red Hood: I'm not with the Regime. Fox McCloud: Well, if you say so then... Red Hood: Please, you act like I'm lying, McCloud! Red Hood: Call me the Red Hood. Fox McCloud: You sure you're the one with a sock on his head? Red Hood: You know what? Just call me Jason. Fox McCloud: I can't understand what's with you. Red Hood: I'm the cure for a sick, sad world. Fox McCloud: You can't solve problems with bullets. Fox McCloud: Like the beanie mask you got there. Red Hood: Glad to know you approve, McCloud. Fox McCloud: Too bad your kind of justice says otherwise.

(Reverse Flash) Reverse Flash: Exactly what is your plan here? Fox McCloud: I'm here to end this nightmare you caused! Reverse Flash: Which is why you're dead fox meat! Reverse Flash: Who the hell are you supposed to be? Fox McCloud: The name's Fox McCloud, leader of Star Fox. Reverse Flash: To me, you're another victim! Fox McCloud: You're lucky my crew ain't here. Reverse Flash: They still won't catch me, McCloud. Fox McCloud: Care to reconsider that, Mr. Thawne? Fox McCloud: Reverse Flash, huh? Reverse Flash: Finally, someone with backbone. Fox McCloud: It's too bad you don't have one.

(Robin) Robin: You could've been part of the solution. Fox McCloud: Why? You still kiss Superman's butt with that mouth? Robin: You're headed for the cemetery! Robin: Got a problem? Fox McCloud: Listening to butthurt crybabies like you. Robin: You have poor taste in heroes. Fox McCloud: I feel sorry for your father. Robin: Because he was spectacularly wrong! Fox McCloud: So was killing Batman's adopted son. Fox McCloud: You remind me a bit like Falco. Robin: Huh... what would that be? Fox McCloud: He's less arrogant unlike you.

(Scarecrow) Scarecrow: Do you fear death? Fox McCloud: Not now. Not ever. Scarecrow: Too bad your father did. Scarecrow: Your precious Krystal looks lovely... Fox McCloud: You better not lay a hand on her or else! Scarecrow: Heh... what if I did? Fox McCloud: You'll pay for insulting my father. Scarecrow: Oooh, I'm shaking in my boots. Fox McCloud: Oh, you'll shake. But you won't like it. Fox McCloud: I'm not sure if I wanna be here. Scarecrow: Welcome to your nightmare. Fox McCloud: I think I'm not gonna like it.

(Starfire) Starfire: Every battle is an adventure. Fox McCloud: Good thing I live for the adventure. Starfire: I'll honor you with my skills, McCloud. Starfire: How do you cope with darkness? Fox McCloud: A pilot like me doesn't fear nothing. Starfire: Grayson would have liked you. Fox McCloud: This'll be over before it begins. Starfire: How do I know you're a worthy warrior? Fox McCloud: You should've saw me beat Andross. Fox McCloud: You really are that beautiful. Starfire: I'm glad you appreciate my beauty. Fox McCloud: I'll try not to mess you up too bad.

(Sub-Zero) Sub-Zero: You may retreat with no dishonor. Fox McCloud: If I can handle the cold, I can handle you. Sub-Zero: I respect your bravery. Sub-Zero: A grandmaster's respect must be earned. Fox McCloud: Good thing our crew fights for respect. Sub-Zero: Then show me why, Fox McCloud. Fox McCloud: Why in the heck are we here? Sub-Zero: Only bloodshed will save this realm. Fox McCloud: Can't imagine what that feels like. Fox McCloud: Whoa. Who must this be? Sub-Zero: I am Sub-Zero, grandmaster of the Lin Kuei. Fox McCloud: For once, I thought someone turned on the AC.

(Supergirl) Supergirl: I mean you no harm. Fox McCloud: Than how come your cousin harms innocents? Supergirl: Kal didn't set the best example. Supergirl: Don't ask me to go easy on you. Fox McCloud: Good thing I didn't ask, Supergirl. Supergirl: Don't say I warned you, Fox. Fox McCloud: Superman's not who you think. Supergirl: There's still good in him. Fox McCloud: Is being a dictator considered good? Fox McCloud: You must be proud of your little dictator. Supergirl: Kal can still change his ways, McCloud. Fox McCloud: That's no excuse for what he's done.

(Superman) Superman: You're leaving Earth. Now! Fox McCloud: I'll leave after you're locked up for good, Superman. Superman: You can try. Superman: Why are you on my Earth? Fox McCloud: I'm here to end this nightmare you caused! Superman: Paranoid as ever, Fox. Fox McCloud: You are no hero. Superman: And what do you think I am? Fox McCloud: You're as heartless as Andross is! Fox McCloud: You poisoned this world long enough. Superman: Without me, they'd be dead, McCloud! Fox McCloud: Maybe because they were dead by your rule!

(Swamp Thing) Swamp Thing: Why have you come here? Fox McCloud: Brainiac sucked me up to this universe. Swamp Thing: Of course you would say that. Swamp Thing: Fox McCloud. Fox McCloud: You must be the guy in the vegetable bags, right? Swamp Thing: I doubt that to be true. Fox McCloud: You some sort of human tree? Swamp Thing: Disturb me at your own risk. Fox McCloud: Didn't know that would offend you. Fox McCloud: I'll be fun chopping you down. Swamp Thing: Don't mock the green, Fox McCloud. Fox McCloud: Send them my regards then.

(Vixen) Vixen: This must be the leader of Star Fox. Fox McCloud: And I assume you must be Vixen. Vixen: Intro's complete. Let's go. Vixen: Are you ready for your turn on the runway? Fox McCloud: Not sure I fit the "model" type. Vixen: There's a first time for everything, Fox. Fox McCloud: Did Batman send you here to train me? Vixen: I was gonna ask you the same question. Fox McCloud: Then let's see who's faster, Vixen. Fox McCloud: You'd be a great member of Star Fox. Vixen: Air's not really my strong suit, Fox. Fox McCloud: You're right, you wouldn't handle motion sickness.

(Wonder Woman) Wonder Woman: Drop the gun or I'll take your hand. Fox McCloud: Drop your sword and shield and I might consider it! Wonder Woman: That's not an option. Wonder Woman: You're standing down, Fox McCloud. Fox McCloud: Sorry, I don't take orders from murderers. Wonder Woman: You'll learn to see it our way. Fox McCloud: You must be proud of your little dictator. Wonder Woman: Which is why I'll restore the Regime! Fox McCloud: You're as heartless as Andross is! Fox McCloud: It's a shame you ended up this way. Wonder Woman: Just why is that, Fox? Fox McCloud: Because nobody trusts murderers like you.

So what does everybody think? Which one was your favorite quote? Let me know. Until then, peace!

[hysterialevi]

Legend pt. 2

Author’s note: Sorry about the long wait for this one. I got a bit stumped for a while, but it’s finally finished and I hope you enjoy the end result. Thanks for all your support, and as always, love you guys. Stay awesome.

From Bruce’s POV

WAYNE MANOR

THE NEXT MORNING

John let out an astonished gasp upon entering the manor, his jaw dropping open as he viewed the inside with an amazed expression.

“Wow, Bruce!” He exclaimed as he observed the chandeliers hanging above, craning his neck backwards. “I knew you were rich, but...but this...!”

John spread his arms out and twirled around like a top, laughing vigorously to himself.

“This is...INCREDIBLE! Hehehe!”

I smiled gently at the man, adoring his eccentric display of joy from a distance while he explored his new home. 

With the Agency and police constantly trying to arrest John, I agreed to let the man live with me for a while in hopes of protecting him. It was too risky to leave him alone during these times, and the last thing I wanted was for someone to catch him while I wasn’t looking.  

Aside from Alfred, John was all I had left. He was my closest friend, my partner in fighting crime, and one of the few people I knew I could trust for sure. He had been with me through thick and thin, and always had my back no matter what. I needed him by my side.

If Waller or anyone else wanted to take him away from me, they were going to have to put up a fight. And a damned good one.

“I’m glad you like the house, John,” I said, strolling up to him. “As much as I appreciate the solitude, I have to admit it does get lonely here sometimes. It’ll be nice having you around.”

John put a dramatic hand over his heart and wiped away a fake tear, tilting his head at me in a touched manner.

“You are truly the kindest man I’ve ever met, Brucie. I might just shed a tear.”

I grinned at that, slipping my hands into my pockets. “You’d be the first to say that in a while. I’ve almost forgotten the days when Gotham didn’t hate the Waynes. So, any idea where you want to sleep?”

The clown shrugged, slightly confused. “Um...in the bedroom...?”

A chuckle escaped me. “Well, yes, but which one? There are seven of them.”

John’s eyes popped open. “You have seven bedrooms?”

“Yeah,” I confirmed, “along with two kitchens, a library, a gymnasium, a basketball court, and a movie theater. And there’s obviously also the Batcave.”

The other man clapped happily and rubbed his hands together out of excitement, unable to contain himself.

“This is unreal, Bruce. It’s like I’m in paradise. I went from living in an abandoned subway station...to the fanciest manor in Gotham! Ah, it’s so nice having all this...space! Not to mention that Bane and Harley aren’t here to argue about nonsense all day long. We have to arrange a move night sometime! Tell me, are you more of a beef jerky or corn bites guy?” John shrugged. “Ah heck, I’ll just bring both! Hehe!”

“Just be sure to keep a low profile,” I reminded him. “The Agency can’t know you’re here. Otherwise, they’ll tear the place apart brick-by-brick, and take you back to Arkham. Or worse -- slap a collar on you like the rest of the Pact. If you ever want to leave the house, there’s a another exit through the Batcave that will draw much less attention than the front door. And try not to go out by yourself, got it? I wanna make sure you’re safe.”

John nodded, giving me a thumbs-up. “Got it!”

“Great. Now, why don’t you go set up your room?”

He smirked at me, picking up his bags. “Oh, I’ve been so excited for this moment, Brucie! Decorating my own room in Wayne Manor,” John sighed in satisfaction. “This is a dream come true. You and I -- we are gonna have so...much...fun!”

Hurrying up the elegant staircase with his belongings, John practically glided to his room as Alfred passed him on the way down, giving the clown a subtle gesture of acknowledgement before making his way to me. 

Despite the smile on the butler’s face and his straightened posture, I could still tell something wasn’t quite right, and as soon as John’s echoing cackle disappeared down the corridor, the old man broke his charade, voicing his concerns.

“I mean no disrespect towards your friend, Bruce,” he said lowly, “but are you sure it’s a good idea to have him stay here?”

Alfred and I wandered over to a more secluded corner of the manor, hoping to keep out of earshot while I explained the situation to him.

“I can’t just let John roam around Gotham by himself, Al. He’s not exactly the type of person to lay low, and the Agency’s been keeping an extremely close eye on him lately. One wrong move, and he’ll be behind bars. I have to watch him.”

The butler didn’t appear convinced. 

“...Well, perhaps that’s not such a bad thing,” he argued. “I know you care for him, but in the end, John is a criminal. And he must be brought to justice. We can’t ignore that, Bruce. Batman can’t.”

I paused for a moment, unable to deny that Alfred had a point. 

Crossing my arms, I checked to make sure John was still out of sight. 

“Look, I know John’s made mistakes--”

“--He’s murdered people.” Alfred corrected.

“--But...” I continued, “I don’t think he’s beyond saving. Not yet, anyways. You said it yourself, Alfred. He’s my friend. I can’t just give up on him and toss him in jail. He’s...he’s all I have left. I mean, Tiffany’s with the Agency, Lucius is gone, and now Waller’s threatening to take John away, too. I have to at least try to help him.”

Realizing that there was no way he was going to sway my mind, Alfred let out a defeated sigh and dropped the subject, evidently anxious about what would come in the future.

“...Very well, sir. I trust your decision, but please...proceed with caution. Soon, the time will come when you must choose which is more important: your friendship with John, or your duty as Batman -- and I don’t want your judgement to be hindered.”

I gave him an assuring nod, heading upstairs to check on my friend. 

“Don’t worry, Alfred. As much as I care about John, I’m not blind. If I think he’s fallen beyond repair, Batman will be the first one to step in. But he’ll be brought to justice the right way. I won’t let Waller lay a finger on him, no matter what happens.”

From Oswald’s POV

THE STACKED DECK

“The hunt for the Joker continues,” Jack Ryder reported, his voice barely audible over the rock music filling up the bar, “and the police are desperate to find any leads that could help them find the perpetrator. Fortunately for Gotham, the Joker seems to have gone underground recently and has even ‘vanished’ according to some. In the past few days, there have been no reports of any Joker-related crimes, and the green-haired clown hasn’t been spotted by anyone. Normally, a moment of peace such as this would be appreciated, but one can’t help wondering if the reason the Joker has disappeared...is he’s planning something bigger. But of course, we will keep all you viewers out there informed with any updates. I’m Jack Ryder, and you’re watching Gotham TV.”

I softly chuckled at the news and glanced downwards at my beer bottle, happily taking a sip as I watched the chaos unravel in Gotham’s news. At this point, I wasn’t even upset by all the mayhem slowly tearing down this city, and a part of me was even thrilled. 

I had learned enough about Gotham to know that its citizens were far from innocent, and the ones who were died ages ago. The only people who survived in this godforsaken place were men in suits, and those controlling them from the shadows. As far as I was concerned, Joker’s hell-raising rampage was nothing but some well-earned karma, and I couldn’t help but laugh. I only hoped that karma also hit Bruce Wayne.

I was still having difficulty imagining that billionaire pretty boy as Batman. Not only did the two of them act nothing alike, but they were also on complete opposite ends of the spectrum.

The Waynes hurt people; killed them, even. Anyone who was brave enough to oppose them got murdered or thrown in Arkham by Thomas...and yet, his son grew up to become a vigilante. Someone who fought against people like his father. Why?

Maybe this was Bruce’s way of making amends? Maybe he knew the truth about his dear, old dad all along, and wore the mask so he could do more good for the world without risking his reputation. Like he did when Joseph bullied me as a kid. 

Pft. I didn’t know whether to admire or condemn him. 

All I did know...was that I had to kill him. And quickly.

Ordering another drink, I suddenly sensed a presence walking up behind me as the bartender waltzed off, causing me to glance over my shoulder. 

Standing not too far away from me, there was a young woman dressed in a neat, grey blazer and high heels, and her brown hair had been tied into an elegant bun. She was equipped with an advanced pistol that hid just beneath her jacket, and in her hand, she held a clipboard. I guessed this woman must’ve been with the Agency. She had that...look.

“So you’re released from prison after an entire year on the inside,” she said, “...and this is the first place you visit? I...guess I see the appeal.”

I paid no mind to her comment.

“I was in Blackgate for quite a while, love. I’d say I deserve a drink.”

The woman stepped closer. “Just make sure you don’t overdo it. I need your senses to be alert.”

Putting the beer down for a moment, I gave her an irritated glare and casually stood up from my chair, approaching the agent.

“And just who the hell are you?” I questioned. “I’m working on assassinating Gotham’s favorite vigilante for you people, yet your lips remain tighter than the security at Blackgate. Can I get a code name, at the very least?”

Surprisingly, the woman reacted in a more-than-friendly manner and held out her hand, smiling warmly at me.

“Agent Iman Avesta,” she introduced. “You met my partner yesterday. Vernon Blake.” 

I didn’t return the handshake, and went back to my stool. 

“You can call me Oz,” I replied, “but I assume you know that already. The Agency seems to know a lot ‘bout me. So, what, you here to keep an eye on me?”

Avesta took a seat next to me. “Something like that. Waller just wants to make sure you don’t do anything too...rash. I’m sure you understand.”

I quirked a brow. “If she don’t trust me, then why’d she hire me to do the job?”

“Waller has absolute confidence in your skills,” the agent explained, “but that’s the extent of her trust. Not that I blame her. After all, you were associated with the Children of Arkham. It’d be foolish to let you act alone. It’s nothing personal, of course. The Director watches all her ‘allies’ very closely.”

I scoffed. “You mean like the Pact? I know they’re working for her.”

Avesta seemed impressed. “Well, well. Looks like we’re not the only ones who are good at learning secrets. Waller made a good choice, hiring you for the job. I look forward to accompanying you.”

Finishing my drink, I placed the empty bottle aside and turned to the agent.

“...And how exactly does Waller want me to approach this mission?” I asked. “Any rules I should know about? Any lines I can’t cross?”

Avesta shook her head. “Aside from deserting the mission itself, no. The Director has granted you full permission to do anything it takes to kill Batman. And she means anything.”

Slightly nodding in approval, I separated myself from the bar and prepared to leave, Avesta tagging along with me as we strolled outside.

“Well, all right then. If that’s the case, I think I know just what to do for our first step. But I’m gonna need your help finding someone.”

She appeared intrigued. “Oh, really? And who would that be?”

I smirked, eager to get down to business.

“...Ever heard of a man named Joseph Hunt?”

[amorremanet]

top 5 movies? and why? no no TOP FIVE BOOKS

oh gosh, both of these are hard and my answers for them are probably so boring (they also come with the, “this is just how I feel right now because ugh, I am the worst at picking any all-time faves for broad categories”) — but!!

top “five” movies:

The Prince of Egypt — has some of the most beautiful art that I’ve ever seen, anywhere, and music that sticks with you, and it really shows the human drama and human stakes of such a classic story in ways that a lot of adaptations of Biblical mythology are afraid to do

Deadpool — because I’m garbage, the characters are great, the script is pretty good, and the movie makes me laugh. It’s not really a deconstruction (in the way that some people make it out to be, by way of justifying why they like it), and it’s not super-intellectual, and in a lot of ways, it’s like a giant #SorryNotSorry that makes fun of superhero movie tropes while continuing to use them (and there are some subtle ways it plays with some of said tropes and twists them around, but it largely doesn’t) — but it’s fun

But I’m A Cheerleader — is far from perfect, and I maintain that it’s actually much more depressing than the ending leads us to believe (I mean, Meghan/Graham and Dolph/Clayton get together and escape from True Directions and homophobic parents, and Meghan’s Mom and Dad at least try to do better by their daughter, but things don’t work out that well for anybody else), but it’ll always have a special place in my heart because it was one of the only lesbian movies that I had access to as a little gay baby

Female Trouble — I wouldn’t say that it’s the best thing that John Waters has ever done, just the one that I personally like the best, and I’ll admit that it’s probably an acquired taste…… but I love how it takes on celebrity culture in the story Dawn Davenport, and it gave us great lines like, “The world of heterosexual is a sick and boring life” and, “I wouldn’t suck your lousy dick if I was suffocating and there was oxygen in your balls!” It also has a special place in my heart as one of my favorite, “gay AND weird” movies

—which probably makes sense, given that it was written and directed by the trash king of being gay and weird

……like, seriously. My (best friend who I call my) brother once asked me, “So is John Waters gay or is he just really weird?” and the only thing I could think of to say to that was, “Yes, both.”

the “Three Flavours Cornetto” trilogy — which is totally cheating, to put three in here, but I couldn’t pick between them. I do think that Hot Fuzz and The World’s End are more fully actualized than Shaun of the Dead, but I love all of them, and the reason is pretty much just, “Because they’re good mixes of being hilarious and making me FEEL things” (……less so in The World’s End, for several reasons; it’s a lot heavier on the feels, to the point that you sometimes feel bad for laughing at the jokes, but still)

and books:

Good Omens (Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman) — This book was my introduction to both PTerry and GNeil, after I found a cheap copy in an airport bookstore when I was about twelve and immediately fell in love. It’s funny, the characters are vibrant and engaging, and it played right into my love of screwing around with Biblical mythology.

I’m periodically tempted to list different books for both of those men (with PTerry’s probably being one of the Granny Weatherwax books, or Faust Eric, and GNeil’s being either American Gods or one of his Sandman books — because yeah, he’s done other good stuff, but I’m more sentimentally attached to AG and Sandman. Also, Preludes and Nocturnes has some of the only non-movie or TV horror that has genuinely terrified me, so)

—buuuut then I never do, because Good Omens was my first book from either of them, and remains my sentimental fave, even though I admit that they’ve both written other books that are, “better” or, “stronger,” or whatever

Dry (Augusten Burroughs) — There’s a lot of fair criticism to be made of Augusten Burroughs, and he’s been one of the writers at the center of the debates about truthfulness or lack thereof in popular memoirs (like, how much an author is allowed to condense things before it stops counting as a, “real story,” and how an author remembers things happening vs. how other people remember them), but Dry nevertheless means a lot to me.

Like, I enjoyed Running with Scissors and his novel, Sellevision (which were the other Big Deals in his collected works, at the time I originally read Dry), but Dry fucked me up a LOT when I first read it. It has continued to fuck me up ever since.

There are passages in this book that I can’t even be jealous of, as another writer, because they’re so good that they skip right the fuck past, “I’m angry and jealous that I didn’t write this myself” and into, “Holy shit, THIS is why I write, the ability to do THIS KIND OF THING EXACTLY with words, I need to go write something right now”

Also, it means a lot to me for sentimental, “I read this book for the first time when I was in high school, and it made me feel less lonely and sad and scared” reasons

Dynamic Characters (Nancy Kress) — This is by no means the be-all and end-all of, “how to writer better” books, but it’s a personal favorite of mine, for two reasons: 1. there are some things that Kress doesn’t cover about creating characters and doing better by them in your writing, but she’s still pretty comprehensive and offers some solid illustrative examples, multiple perspectives on this part of writing (not as many as she could, but to be fair, she only has so many pages to work with), and a good mix of “tough love” advice and gentler, more reassuring advice;

and 2. …it was the first, “how to writer better” book that I ever got my hands on. I picked it out specifically because I’d posted a completely ridiculous crack fic that was a crossover between Harry Potter and Sailor Moon, with a first-person protagonist narrator who was a hot nonsense self-insert power fantasy Mary Sue with no flaws and no nuance because, hey, I was 11.

And someone actually commented to go, “Hey, look, you have talent, but you could do better and one place to start is maybe with learning to build better realized characters” — so I picked out the Nancy Kress book and it seems like a really silly thing to call a turning point? But it was big a turning point for me

Death, Disability, and the Superhero: The Silver Age and Beyond (José Alaniz) — okay, time for me to be a loser and cite an academic book. I’m also probably a cheating loser, since I just read this book for the first time recently…… but with that said? I’ve read a LOT of critical treatments of the superhero genre, some pretty good, others pretty bad (for example, I remain Perpetually Tired of Slavoj Žižek’s heavy metal Communist, Bane in Leather Pants bullshit reading of The Dark Knight Returns), and most of it somewhere in the middle

—but there’s this trend among people who write critically about superhero junk, whether they’re academics of not, wherein we act like we have to act like superhero comics are The Most Progressive Ever and oversell their sociopolitical impact in order to make them look like ~*True Art*~ That Must Be Taken Seriously (—and like, I’m not saying that they have NO impact on people at all, because that’s objectively false. But you also can’t try to claim that Superman, Wonder Woman, and Captain America comics are why the Allies won World War II)

(this is a pointless aside to note that I deliberately left the Goddamn Batman off that list, because while Supes, Diana, and Steve were all off punching Nazis, Golden Age Bruce and white boy!Dick were running around on the home-front, rounding up Japanese Americans and putting them in internment camps. So… y’know. There’s that.)

……or we have to take legitimate criticisms of problems in the superhero genre, both historical and current, and use them to go, “Therefore, the entire genre is pointless garbage that has no redeeming qualities at all and could never ever EVER be used to tell any stories that are worth telling, and frankly, you are all terrible, horrible people for enjoying it, how very dare you enjoy that X-Men movie or that Red Hood And The Outlaws comic, you’re basically a fascist now”

—which is hilarious, to me, because the people who write that sort of criticism almost always cite Fredric Wertham’s book, The Seduction of the Innocent (aka: the book that led to so much moral outrage over the allegedly very gay and fascistic, child-corrupting content of comicbooks that the Comics Code Authority was created), and they always go, “Well, obviously Wertham was OTT and totally full of shit, buuuut…… *argument that would not have been out of place in his book*”

So, one of the big reasons I loved Professor Alaniz’s book is that is does neither of these things. It offers some incisive, and occasionally kinda damning, critique of the superhero genre and its handling of disability and mortality, but he does so from a place of love and enjoyment, and never pretends to hate the genre, nor argues for throwing the whole thing out because it has problems.

Like, his underlying mindset is very much, “Yes, the superhero genre has a LOT of problems, but people could, in theory, fix them and try to get closer to realizing the full potential of what these characters and stories can do” — while never skimping on a detailed analysis of the trends and case studies that he presents.

Sometimes, I think he’s kinda reaching (and I, personally, never want to hear anything about Doctor Doom’s Oedipus complex ever again so long as I live, though it was validating to hear that my theatre kids AU version of him — who is a ridiculous mess, obsessed with taking selfies, and perpetually acting like he totally gets everything while missing some crucial detail, which is how he ends up thinking that Loki is dating Tony Stank [a suggestion that makes both of them want to puke] — is actually a valid interpretation of his character, based on some parts of canon)

Overall, though, my biggest problem with Professor Alaniz’s book is that he can be kind of a hipster and it can get a little bit annoying. Not enough to ruin the whole book, but enough that it does stand out.

Like, his chapter on Daredevil specifically analyzes an infamous Silver Age story that basically everyone hated — the one where Matt Murdock tells Karen and Foggy that he isn’t the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen, but he has some heretofore unknown identical twin brother named Mike, who is not blind but *IS* actually that aforementioned costumed hero, and carries on a charade of pretending to be his nonexistent twin brother — and okay, we get some pretty neat discussion of how passing can work or might not with disabled people

…but you can still walk away feeling like his biggest reason for analyzing that story arc was less about its value to any part of his discussion, and more about going, “Other Daredevil stories are too mainstream, I care most about this one that was so infamously ridiculous that people have said even soap operas wouldn’t have done this plot”

Likewise, I’m not saying that there aren’t very fair criticisms to be made of the X-Men and how their stories handle disability in particular… but at some points in his chapter on the Silver Age Doom Patrol comics, Professor Alaniz seems to be less, “using the pre-Claremont Silver Age X-Men stories as an illustrative foil to the Doom Patrol, especially with regard to how Charles’s paraplegia is treated vs. how The Chief’s paraplegia is treated” and more, “using this discussion as a free excuse to bash on the X-Men for being popular”

To his credit, Professor Alaniz does kinda discuss some of the ways that the X-Men’s popularity might have been affected by the fact that things like their ableist handling of Charles make them feel, “safer” and, “less sociopolitically threatening” than he makes the Doom Patrol out to be (with a pretty convincing argument, actually)

He just doesn’t do it enough for me to feel like his “criticism” of the X-Men isn’t at least partially grounded in going, “Well, it’s popular, therefore it sucks” (—as opposed to my approach to them, which is, “It’s popular, and has a mixed bag of things that it does well vs. things it does that suck, but it does not suck BECAUSE it is popular”)

Anyway, good book, and it’s written in a refreshingly accessible way (it’s still an academic book and harder to get into than, say, Good Omens, but Professor Alaniz doesn’t make a lot of the more common mistakes that leave a lot of academic writing effectively incomprehensible)

and last but not least…… Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire (we all know who wrote this, okay, come on) — because I’d be lying if I didn’t include at least one HP book on this list, considering how important those books and that fandom have been to the course of my life and to my development as a writer, and it was either gonna be this one or POA, but this one won over the other because I’m garbage