#look. u can have her struggle with feminity all u want without going for the boring and frankly stupid 'im a girl but i dont wear dresses'

[scorchedhearth]

a lot of things could be fixed by making casca a butch. the rest of the issues could be fixed by making her a protagonist before a girl

[blueiight]

can i ask your thoughts on the fandom’s heavy focus on louis as an object of desire? it sometimes feels to me like people are more interested in other characters reacting to louis than they are in louis himself. i know the “helen of troy” stuff is a joke but it genuinely seems like he’s often rendered oddly passive in his desirability, like we’re looking at him through the eyes of the other characters even though it’s his story (to be clear: in the fandom, not the actual show). or am i being uncharitable? either way, you always have interesting things to say about fandom reception.

i think the focus of louis as an object of desire arose largely in response to a lot of racially-charged nonsense about show louis, namely, where a loud minority of fans tried to deny the abuse and horror of season 1 and frame louis as the primary antagonist/abuser of his own story. which in of itself had the potential to go somewhere, especially considering the feminized role louis occupies in parts of season 1. unfortunately its spiraled off into its own dead end at this point to where now people, a year and a half removed from the release of s1, can box louis's character arc into this tale of getting all the hot boys to look her way. when this is a horror and tragedy series. romance is part of that, but is a piece of the full picture. classic romance is very much horror tbh but thats just me

if we're discussing the show strictly, majority of louis's relationships are antagonistic. even with his lovers, they love him as much as they seek to control him. 'his love is a small box that he keeps you in', trailer louis saying 'i knew who i was without those pieces [of myself?]' . so on and so forth. the first three episodes of season 1 are about louis's struggle to maintain a link with his mortal community, in the midst of increasing racist tensions against the city leaders, all as he struggles to come to terms with his existence as a vampire and how his relationship to lestat fits in relation to all these pieces of himself. doubly so, there is also the nature of the second interview in present time, and the sort of antagonism between daniel + louis as louis eventually pushes daniel into burning the old tape. the latter half of season 1, episodes 4-7 is squarely about the triad of lestat, louis, and claudia, how lestat increasingly tightens his hold over them both, claudia breaking them free of it, and louis's response to such. doubly so, daniel becomes more hostile the less he knows, and the more louis's composed 'master of his instincts' personage collapses to show the broken man thats underneath. armand comes in at the end bc the interview has reached a breaking point once more [as it did in the 1970s]. i know, im looking too hard into the meme, but so much of where louis errs, where his memory falters, where history is completely revised, has to do with the question of claudia. even book interview foundationally was about this grief, though not nearly with the level of depth+ gravity the show has added to the story.

where focusing on louis as an 'object of desire' most impedes analysis has to do with claudia as well, bc if u see louis as that solely, then what is claudia to u if not a 'child interfering in [louis's] romantic affairs'? why are people already seeking to write claudia off as a wayward child unduly 'taking out her anger on louis', when it was louis at the end of season 1 who strangled her against the wall and refused to let her burn lestat? when its louis in the trailer thats throwing claudia's words from season 1 back at her, evading her questions in the cafe? when claudia is having to dress as a baby doll and advertise with a sandwich board for a theater + a coven-master that all want her dead?

i think this is by nature of the fact that iwtv is canonly gay and isnt afraid of showing that, and modern fandom is mainly interested in romance. claudia's relationship to louis is secondary, if not tertiary, to all 'camps' of this tiny tiny fandom bc she is clearly established in s1 as not being a viable romantic option for louis, despite claudia's perspective and her story taking up the second half of the first season, and will continue to be important in the second season. the 'helen of troy' fixation on his desirability in relation to romantically viable vampires [or even men] seems to be another means by which fans can ignore this part of the story, just as the mutual abuse nonsense about louis being clarence thomas the third self hating black man who stole lestat's lunchables and is 'just as bad as the rest' drowned out and continues to drown out any other conversation for the past year and a half. it is very difficult to have conversations on this character precisely bc of this state of fandom, where many people seek to crack the whip over a fictional character for not being mother teresa and having a complex response to trauma, then instead of discussing that, some seek to fixate on the fact that mother teresa can be sexy, actually. when thats not the point. why is modern louis so full of grief and all but suicidal in dubai, if not for the fact that claudia is permanently dead, he still lives, he regrets something, and wants to find the truth under it all? the jokes are cute and all, but lets put our thinking caps on.

[idsunflower]

Ok look. Ik this isn’t what Kripke meant bc I know him we are of one soul buddy I’m also a Midwest misogynist but. Buffy without women? The funniest shit I’ve ever heard of. Like there are 2 options:

1. All the female characters in Buffy cease to exist. Since most of the dudes are there because they’re sleeping with Buffy or pre-gay willow and Giles is only there because of Buffy’s slaying stuff, u got Xander. Eric kripke, did you want a Xander-centric Buffy??? You wanted more of XANDER????* anyway Xander sucks and gets eaten by his vampire BFF (oh you don’t remember his vampire BFF? Don’t worry neither does Xander) immediately. The most satisfying hour of television ever. If they’re struggling to meet the time limit, maybe they can have a fifteen minute clip of Anya laughing.

Orrrrr....

2. All the girls on Buffy are guys and bc heteronormativity and shit, all the guys are girls. Willow’s will, cordelia’s cordell, dawn’s don and buffy’s.... u know, Buffy can still be Buffy. Not like it’s a normal name anyway. I would watch this for DAYS. This would infect my bloodstream. Bc the thing is? Buffy, for all its superficial 90s feminism, works with super gendered tropes and I would LOVE to see a woman try to pull off angel’s whole thing (spike would be easier because.... spike. He’s the sensitive bad boy as opposed to the sad bad boy, there’s a huge difference trust me ik my Buffy). And I mean, Buffy herself! Her whole thing is like, she’s the feminine ideal, she’s a tiny blonde happy-go-lucky cheerleader but, twist, she can kick ass. And like, obv that’s very reductive she’s only more interesting than other girls (see: cordelia) because she adopts traditionally masculine traits but not so much so that she freaks out the straight male audience who are there to look down her shirt, we’ve covered this, we know. But like. How would that play out with male Buffy? Is he like a football player who’s ‘feminine’ aspects only really come out in his relationship with Angel-a or in his team-building abilities? Is he a feminine man that’s underestimated by his masc counterparts? I mean obv neither of these concepts would fly, then or now, because the first approach would require appreciating stereotypically feminine attributes and the second would require making a gnc man the hero of his own story, but isn’t it fun? Isn’t it fun to think about?

Anyway, instead he came up with supernatural so. Maybe we aren’t that similar after all

*is that who SAM’S meant to be? Is he Kripke’s XANDER??

think I’m going to be sick brb

[clvmtines]

welcome aboard, clementine martinez, student #2. we are excited to set sail with you !  has anyone told you that you look like alexa demie? according to our records, you hail from florida, usa, prefer she / her pronouns, are a cis woman, and are here to study creative writing. we also see you received a spot on the ss university because of your online lottery win — we won’t tell anyone. during your first few weeks here, other students said you were + charming, + free-spirited, but also - restive. it sounds like you spend most of your time at the billiards room. upon checking your luggage, we noticed you packed a casino chip carried around for luck from home. hopefully your roommates don’t steal it!

hi friends! i’m very excited to be here. i’m jay (est, she/her) n i used to play astrid nyland a few months ago if anyone remembers bt i had to leave for personal reasons. i’m so glad to be back now that i hve life sorted and some free time for summer break <3 read on for some details abt this new muse of mine, clementine. 

01. biography !

so ! clementine was born in florida. & yes, her real name is clementine. her mom thot it was the cutest name idea ever. clementine mostly goes by clem. she comes from the town [redacted] in florida bcoz i am too lazy to look up a specific town <3 but alas ! it was swampy and humid and she lived in a trailer park. 

her parents got knocked up at nineteen. clem was born nine months after a particularly wild 1999 fourth of july. her birthday is march 26th and she’s an aries. 

(TW: addiction, child injury) clem’s dad was a gambling addict and petty criminal—he wld steal credit cards n whatnot. he wld gamble away diaper money n it would cause constant fighting until her dad finally left. her mom took this very hard n began drinking a bit too often, leaving clem to to make cereal for dinner n fend for herself. once clem tried to make hot dogs on the stove and spilled boiling water on herself. got a p bad burn on her arm/shoulder and still has a big scar.

the soundtrack of her childhood was cicadas buzzing and stray dogs barking. the sizzle and pop of natty light cans. turning up her ipod to max volume to drown out the sounds of her mother fighting with her new boyfriend.

throughout her upbringing, clem’s dad was always in and out of the picture. he’d blow into town when he hit it big. he’d take her on these little “adventures” like staying in a motel 6 n renting movies at block buster n ordering good pizza nt the dominos shit she ate with her mom lol. ofc he was charging it all to someone’s stolen credit card. he’d always promise to, like, take clem away. n clem was a daddy’s girl so she believed him. the last time it happened was her h.s. graduation. her mom didn’t show ( "overslept” after a bender ) but her dad did and surprised her n said everything wld be different. bt then he bailed on their plans for the next day n when she called his cell, the number was disconnected. tht was the defining “i’m done” moment. clem promised to never be disappointed by her father again.

(TW: racism) her mother has mexican ancestry and clem’s always been called her twin. but clem was raised in a predominately white area and honestly ?? it was really hard without her even realizing it. she’s still unpacking a lot of things today abt her youth that jst weren’t okay bt she thought were normal. like microaggressions, stereotypes, being fetishized by boys in high school. gross shit.

as a kid, clem was rumored to be really poor bc she wore tattered clothes n got free lunch at school. once she invited a friend to her house & the next day they told everyone it’s in a trailer park. that reputation—the “trailer park girl”—was really hard to shake. and clem got almost desperate to shake it. she was endlessly trying to set her old self on fire and emerge from the ashes like a phoenix.

eventually clem became more “popular”. in school she was, like, a straight b student. very average although super creative and quick-thinking. she always had street smarts. problem solving skills. independence. more of, like, practical intelligence as opposed to book smarts because academia bores her tbh. she was like why am i reading these overrated boring books by dead white men or learning abt polynomials when i know nothing abt how to pay a mortage or do taxes. like...she saw the american education system as bullshit and put in modest effort because she didn’t believe it deserved her sweat and tears. 

however, she entered the online lottery for the seas program on a whim and got in. so she’s studying creative writing now.

02. personality !

first thing you shld know abt clem is that she’s a compulsive liar essentially—she tells various stories to make her life seem better than what it was. to one person, she’s an heiress to a real estate company and grew up wealthy. to the next she was raised by nomadic hippies. some of her lies are small fibs while others are grandiose tales. she rarely talks about her actual upbringing. she hates talking abt her family or the v real trauma of growing up in a household where both parents struggled w/ addiction; the uncertainty, the broken promises, the fact that she had to grow up so soon and deal w/ so much. it wasn’t fair, and if she thinks about it too much, she feels this anger. anger at the universe. anger at her circumstances. she doesn’t know where to put this anger. she doesn’t know how to shrink it. so she avoids it.

despite her rough upbringing, though, clem is actually really sweet and kind. she’s adventurous, fun-loving, free-spirited, and bold. 

bt ! she can also be closed-off, competitive and restive. 

she’s seemingly tight with everyone? like she’s jst that girl who can get along with anyone tbh. 

in her spare time you can catch her tanning by the pool, hanging at the bar, playing pool ( which she learned from her dad ), and socializing. she’ll never say no to hanging out with people. 

she learned a lot from her little “adventures” with her dad, who was very good at conning others and often involved her in his dumb little scams. clem is suuuper good at pulling the ‘im baby 🥺’ card to get what she wants.

she can be a little selfish, because she grew up looking out for herself. 

stubborn and dogmatic as hell !!!

she doesn’t do too many relationships but when she does fall, i imagine she falls hard and fast. she refuses to be made a fool of, tho. when she gets vulnerable she flashes back to being a kid, waiting all day for her dad to show up only to have him bail on her. again. she hates that feeling. so if she, like, senses a shift in someone’s energy she’ll b like, “i’ll break up with u before u can do it to me” and the person wasn’t even tryna dump her lmao.

has a lot of sex. too much ?? sex?? mayb. but she’s v sex positive.

her personal style is v late 90s. hair clips, big scrunchies, neon, fur trim, crop and tube tops, hoop earrings, chokers, patterns, platform shoes, biodegradable glitter cuz it’s good fr the earth *winks*. clothes from o-mighty.......actually jst google o mighty, pull up the images and That is clem. she dresses like a bratz doll. she’s dedicated to the aesthetic.

03. headcanons !

her item brought from home is a hot pink poker chip from a casino. her dad gave it to her. he said it reminded him of her because of the color; he got it during one of his winning streaks and said it was lucky. she has a complicated relationship w/ her dad n doesn’t even speak to him anymore, bt she will never go anywhere without it.

she’s a smol bean—only 5′4

an astrology girl and she reads palms ! she absolutely makes astrology tik toks that people only watch because she’s hot. her flirting technique is to ask you to read your palm.

she doesn’t typically drink to get drunk. but she does love a good sugary cocktail. to her, a drink is like an accessory. a blue fishbowl by the pool, a jack and coke as she stands around a bar. usually she'll nurse the same beverage for a while. if you see her wasted it usually means she’s going thru it emotionally lol. the one thing she does do is drugs tho 

pretty much listens to exclusively female artists.

a bit of an activist. environmentalism, feminism and the like, she’s v outspoken. vegan for ethical reasons (TW: drugs) bt still does cocaine. she wears shirts with ‘my pussy my choice’ bedazzled on the front.

loves to rollerblade ! back home she didn’t have a car so she’d bike or rollerblade. now she still has her blades and she’ll use them when the ship docks. 

03. wanted connections !

Friends, bffs, ride or dies, friends who are like siblings to her, maybe a friend with an unrequited crush on either side ??

an ex she dumped/cheated on/otherwise self sabotaged their relationship because she was afraid of vulnerability.

an ex friend who realized she lies a lot abt herself n felt betrayed. OH ! ESP if they opened up to her on many occasions abt intimate, personal stuff. imagine the betrayal they felt when they found that everything they thought they knew abt clem is a lie.

someone who she actually opens up to. a confidant. or, maybe, like, a stranger she drunkenly spilled her soul to and now she avoids them like the plague.

a rival. clem can be competitive.

her drug dealer 

someone she knows she shouldn’t hook up with and… does it anyways. like a friend’s ex or smthing. spicy <3

i welcome anything !

[richincolor]

New Releases For The Rest of 2020

The year ends with a number of books we've all been anticipating which makes for lots of great reading for us during the winter holidays. What books are you looking forward to?

A Sky Beyond the Storm (An Ember in the Ashes #4) by Sabaa Tahir Razorbill

Picking up just a few months after A Reaper at the Gates left off…

The long-imprisoned jinn are on the attack, wreaking bloody havoc in villages and cities alike. But for the Nightbringer, vengeance on his human foes is just the beginning.

At his side, Commandant Keris Veturia declares herself Empress, and calls for the heads of any and all who defy her rule. At the top of the list? The Blood Shrike and her remaining family.

Laia of Serra, now allied with the Blood Shrike, struggles to recover from the loss of the two people most important to her. Determined to stop the approaching apocalypse, she throws herself into the destruction of the Nightbringer. In the process, she awakens an ancient power that could lead her to victory–or to an unimaginable doom.

And deep in the Waiting Place, the Soul Catcher seeks only to forget the life–and love–he left behind. Yet doing so means ignoring the trail of murder left by the Nightbringer and his jinn. To uphold his oath and protect the human world from the supernatural, the Soul Catcher must look beyond the borders of his own land. He must take on a mission that could save–or destroy–all that he knows. — Cover image and summary via Goodreads

Heiress Apparently (Daughters of the Dynasty #1) by Diana Ma Amulet

Gemma Huang is a recent transplant to Los Angeles from Illinois, having abandoned plans for college to pursue a career in acting, much to the dismay of her parents. Now she’s living with three roommates in a two-bedroom hovel, auditioning for bit roles that hardly cover rent. Gemma’s big break comes when she’s asked to play a lead role in an update of M. Butterfly filming for the summer in Beijing. When she arrives, she’s stopped by paparazzi at the airport. She quickly realizes she may as well be the twin of one of the most notorious young socialites in Beijing. Thus kicks off a summer of revelations, in which Gemma uncovers a legacy her parents have spent their lives protecting her from—one her mother would conceal from her daughter at any cost. — Cover image and summary via Goodreads

The Black Friend: On Being a Better White Person by Frederick Joseph Candlewick Press

“We don’t see color.” “I didn’t know Black people liked Star Wars!” “What hood are you from?” For Frederick Joseph, life in a mostly white high school as a smart and increasingly popular transfer student was full of wince-worthy moments that he often simply let go. As he grew older, however, he saw these as missed opportunities not only to stand up for himself, but to spread awareness to the white friends and acquaintances who didn’t see the negative impact they were having and who would change if they knew how.

Speaking directly to the reader, The Black Friend calls up race-related anecdotes from the author’s past, weaving in his thoughts on why they were hurtful and how he might handle things differently now. Each chapter includes the voice of at least one artist or activist, including Tarell Alvin McCraney, screenwriter of Moonlight; April Reign, creator of #OscarsSoWhite; Angie Thomas, author of The Hate U Give; and eleven others. Touching on everything from cultural appropriation to power dynamics, “reverse racism” to white privilege, microaggressions to the tragic results of overt racism, this book serves as conversation starter, tool kit, and invaluable window into the life of a former “token Black kid” who now presents himself as the friend many of us need. Back matter includes an encyclopedia of racism, providing details on relevant historical events, terminology, and more.

Juliet Takes a Breath by Gabby Rivera, Celia Moscote (Illustrations) BOOM! Box

A NEW GRAPHIC NOVEL ADAPTATION OF THE BESTSELLING BOOK! Juliet Milagros Palante is leaving the Bronx and headed to Portland, Oregon. She just came out to her family and isn’t sure if her mom will ever speak to her again. But don’t worry, Juliet has something kinda resembling a plan that’ll help her figure out what it means to be Puerto Rican, lesbian and out. See, she’s going to intern with Harlowe Brisbane – her favorite feminist author, someone’s who’s the last work on feminism, self-love and lots of of ther things that will help Juliet find her ever elusive epiphany. There’s just one problem – Harlowe’s white, not from the Bronx and doesn’t have the answers. Okay, maybe that’s more than one problem but Juliet never said it was a perfect plan… Critically-acclaimed writer Gabby Rivera adapts her bestselling novel alongside artist Celia Moscote in an unforgettable queer coming-of-age story exploring race, idenrity and what it means to be true to your amazing self. even when the rest of the world doesn’t understand.

A Curse of Roses by Diana Pinguicha Entangled Teen

With just one touch, bread turns into roses. With just one bite, cheese turns into lilies.

There’s a famine plaguing the land, and Princess Yzabel is wasting food simply by trying to eat. Before she can even swallow, her magic—her curse—has turned her meal into a bouquet. She’s on the verge of starving, which only reminds her that the people of Portugal have been enduring the same pain.

If only it were possible to reverse her magic. Then she could turn flowers…into food.

Fatyan, a beautiful Enchanted Moura, is the only one who can help. But she is trapped by magical binds. She can teach Yzabel how to control her curse—if Yzabel sets her free with a kiss.

As the King of Portugal’s betrothed, Yzabel would be committing treason, but what good is a king if his country has starved to death?

With just one kiss, Fatyan is set free. And with just one kiss, Yzabel is yearning for more.

She’d sought out Fatyan to help her save the people. Now, loving her could mean Yzabel’s destruction.

Based on Portuguese legend, this #OwnVoices historical fantasy is an epic tale of mystery, magic, and making the impossible choice between love and duty…

New Releases on Dec. 8th

A Universe of Wishes: A We Need Diverse Books Anthology edited by Dhonielle Clayton Random House Children’s Books

In the fourth collaboration with We Need Diverse Books, fifteen award-winning and celebrated diverse authors deliver stories about a princess without need of a prince, a monster long misunderstood, memories that vanish with a spell, and voices that refuse to stay silent in the face of injustice. This powerful and inclusive collection contains a universe of wishes for a braver and more beautiful world.

Authors include: Samira Ahmed, Libba Bray, Dhonielle Clayton, Zoraida Córdova, Tessa Gratton, Kwame Mbalia, Anna-Marie McLemore, Tochi Onyebuchi, Mark Oshiro, Natalie C. Parker, Rebecca Roanhorse, Victoria Schwab, Tara Sim, Nic Stone, and a to-be-announced debut author/short-story contest winner.

New Releases on Dec. 15th

Oculta (A Forgery of Magic #2) by Maya Motayne Balzer + Bray

After joining forces to save Castallan from an ancient magical evil, Alfie and Finn haven’t seen each other in months. Alfie is finally stepping up to his role as heir and preparing for an International Peace Summit, while Finn is travelling and revelling in her newfound freedom from Ignacio.

That is, until she’s unexpectedly installed as the new leader of one of Castallan’s powerful crime families. Now one of the four Thief Lords of Castallan, she’s forced to preside over the illegal underground Oculta competition, which coincides with the summit and boasts a legendary prize.

Just when Finn finds herself back in San Cristobal, Alfie’s plans are also derailed. Los Toros, the mysterious syndicate responsible for his brother’s murder, has resurfaced—and their newest target is the summit. And when these events all unexpectedly converge, Finn and Alfie are once again forced to work together to follow the assassins’ trail and preserve Castallan’s hopes for peace with Englass.

But will they be able to stop these sinister foes before a new war threatens their kingdom?

This Is How We Fly by Anna Meriano Philomel Books

17-year-old vegan feminist Ellen Lopez-Rourke has one muggy Houston summer left before college. She plans to spend every last moment with her two best friends before they go off to the opposite ends of Texas for school. But when Ellen is grounded for the entire summer by her (sometimes) evil stepmother, all her plans are thrown out the window.

Determined to do something with her time, Ellen (with the help of BFF Melissa) convinces her parents to let her join the local muggle Quidditch team. An all-gender, full-contact game, Quidditch isn’t quite what Ellen expects. There’s no flying, no magic, just a bunch of scrappy players holding PVC pipe between their legs and throwing dodgeballs. Suddenly Ellen is thrown into the very different world of sports: her life is all practices, training, and running with a group of Harry Potter fans.

Even as Melissa pulls away to pursue new relationships and their other BFF Xiumiao seems more interested in moving on from high school (and from Ellen), Ellen is steadily finding a place among her teammates. Maybe Quidditch is where she belongs.

But with her home life and friend troubles quickly spinning out of control–Ellen must fight for the future that she wants, now she’s playing for keeps. — Cover image and summary via Goodreads

[growup-gloup]

Ever since my childhood my feminity was constantly brought down, mocked & shamed. Now I struggle a lot with seeing myself as feminine, sensual or/and sexy. Everytime I dress up in feminine + sexy way, i absolutely love it but i can even embrace it. Its hard bc i know that deep inside i have a strong and powerful feminine energy that just want the best for me. Can u give me some and advices on how to overcome all this and be more at ease and in harmony with my feminine energy ? Thanks a lot 💕

Okay here’s the thing.

The sun rises and sets regardless of whether or not you’re outside. More than that, you say that the sun rises, but that doesn’t change the fact that it’s actually the earth moving, and the sun hasn’t gone anywhere, right? The point is, no matter what you think of the sun, it exists as it does with or without your opinion. That’s the same thing here. You exist as you are. Some might find one trait appealing about you while others would not. That trait exists regardless. 

Now onto the specific theme of femininity, most women, and men who embrace femininity as well, are, like you said, shunned about femininity from a young age. “You hit like a girl.” “You’re not like other girls because all other girls care about are their looks.” “Bro, that shirt makes you look gay.” And so on. Even if no one said those specific words directly to you, you hear it being said to others. You see that the girl we’re all supposed to like in this book or movie is the one who rejects her femininity. It makes it really hard to embrace femininity when it’s considered so below us. 

But a dress is a dress. It did not actively seek out to make you shallow or whatever negative connotation that comes with femininity. It’s just a piece of fabric. 

I’m a firm believer of the fact that masculine and feminine energies exist beyond gender identities, and every single person, regardless of their gender and orientation, has a bit of masculine and feminine energy in them. But that’s a post for another day, if anyone is interested. What I mean in this case is that you, too, have that energy, even if you didn’t wear anything sensual or stereo-typically feminine. 

But the fact that you are dressing the part is a great first step. But don’t just pick up a dress because it’s the pinkest, most frilliest thing you’ve seen, unless, of course, that’s what you like. When you’re looking for clothes, look for things that make YOU in particular feel feminine. Here’s an example: I think bralettes are absolutely cute and feminine, and I love seeing it on other girls, but I always feel awkward wearing it. That means, that even if I wore this feminine thing, I wouldn’t feel feminine, and as such, I would not be able to exude the feminine energy that I want.

Beyond that, there’s the regular style rules that apply. Make sure the item fits you well. People think you have to be a certain size to look feminine, or at least good, but it’s more about the fit of the clothes than your body shape. Certain shades of colors bring out certain qualities in you while others wash out the qualities. You need to find the colors that work best on your skin tone. Also, the fabric should be comfortable. If you are constantly tugging at your clothes because they itch, you’re not going to look, or feel, good. Investing in higher quality fabrics and getting them fitted to your personal measurement is an  investment, but it saves money in the long run because they last longer, and you get more wears out of them rather than the $10 trendy piece you saw on sale.

If you want to wear makeup, get used to a simple “no-makeup” routine that is easy to apply, can last the day, and isn’t too cakey. I love the creativity of some makeup artists and amazing things they can do with the same palette that I have. That being said, the art of the makeup can often take away from your personality. That’s why, if you look at the feminine people you admire, their makeup is fairly simple, maybe a bold red lip or a sharp eyeliner as a defining feature, but that’s usually about it. Of course, if you like bold looks, this doesn’t mean you have to stop.

So far in this post, I’ve stuck to the realm of physical femininity, but if you’re doing all of that and you still don’t feel feminine, consider your actions. Start with the things we don’t often think about, such as the way you move and speak. Keep your posture straight and your head up. Move slowly and collectively. You have all the time in the world. Speak softly and without aggressive language. You have no need for such things. I know women tend to have a reputation of slandering and gossiping, but nothing is further from femininity than talking badly about others. Don’t start drama. You don’t have to run the other way, but detach yourself from it. You’re above the drama. You have more important things to focus on than who’s sleeping with who. A great place to start is the tabloids. A lot of our small talks have started resorting to the latest celebrity scandal. It really isn’t any of your business what they do 

Also, nothing feels as feminine as mystery. I don’t mean to say that you have to shut down every question someone asks, but you don’t have to go into detail either. Live your life the way you want without announcing it. Like use your quest to find your femininity for example. Yes, you’re trying to act more feminine, but does anyone need to know you’re trying to be more feminine? If you say that you are, then suddenly, they’re conscious of your efforts. Even when you do a great job exuding feminine energy, they’ll be like “oh, she’s just pretending; it’s not real”. Or, if you do something masculine after you’ve announced that you’re trying to be more feminine, they’ll call you out on it and act like it was some major sin, and you’ll feel worse whereas they wouldn’t even have noticed it otherwise. Let them notice for themselves. If you wear pants religiously and decide to wear a dress today for the first time ever, yes friends and family will ask you what is up with that. All you need to say is that you wanted to try something new and that is all. 

I suggest looking into Dita Von Teese’s suggestions on femininity. Very little of it has to do with looking a certain way. It’s all about the mindset and behavior. 

💋

[bscully]

I see a lot of people praise caska for being an amazing female character but I kinda feel like she’s written like a bad joke about women (looses battle because period, too emotional, told her role is to comfort guts, etc...) she doesn’t get much time to really shine as a fighter either bc she’s constantly being saved of course I love her and will always defend her but do u think she’s actually written well as a girl? I feel like I’d be lying if I praised her for it

Hello and thanks for the ask!

No offense but I mean…

Let’s put it into perspective. There is a reason why Casca during the Golden Age was written the way she was, and I don’t think it’s necessarily bad writing. Some (questionable) views about women were expressed that way, but I’d like to think that’s more because of the time the Golden Age was written in, rather than because of malicious intent.

During the Black Swordsman Arc we were shown how Guts handled those who were weak: He absolutely detested them.

During the Golden Age we were shown how he dealt with other’s weakness (Casca’s) and also *why* he hated the weak during his Black Swordsman Arc days: During the Eclipse, the Hawks all died because they were weak, and Casca was violated and lost her mind because she could not defend herself either. (The irony of this is that both of these things all happened because of his best efforts to save Griffith, boyo was too distracted)

Black Swordsman Arc

Guts generally was very contempt towards those he considered weak, and also especially towards other men, e.g. Vargas whom he just let die. Another time someone weaker than him died, it was the priests’ daughter, who was slaughtered by evil spirits. He also felt remorse killing her possessed body, even then and also vomits later on (he always vomits when he hurts a child or girl, see Adonis, see killing the fire children in the lost children chapters). In the page below, bottom panel, you can see white sprinkles which I believe are tears.

He then goes on to say how he cannot bother to crush ants below his feet when he walks. That was his way of dealing with the sadness, getting someone who is weaker than him killed because of him. His love-hate relationship to weaker people was also shown to us by his interactions with Theresia: in some way, he did save her here from falling off the ruins. But she had to hold onto a sharp blade so she wouldn’t fall.

Guts was hurting someone who he would love to protect, and he also hated himself for it. He made Theresia go down the very same path like he did because revenge is the only way to give her something to hold onto after losing everything.

It reminded of his own suffering, losing the Hawks and Casca. At least, this is the conclusion I made when I read the Golden Age and then look back to the Black Swordsman arc.

Golden Age

When Casca was later introduced during the Golden age, IMO Kentaro Miura wanted to show us how Guts usually treated people. As it turns out, Guts does want to protect and make sure people are safe. He also listens to them trying his best to meet their expectations. In other words, he was not always an asshole. In regards to other people’s weaknesses, his treatment of Casca was still rough in the beginning, but at the very least imo, well-intentioned.

Now you can critique Miura for his display of Casca’s womanhood. I am personally not particularly bothered by it, especially if this situation is a set up for romance in the first place. Of course the protagonist is going to take note of another character’s feminity if the author plans to hook them up. Guts was confronted with Casca’s female problems (periods) and what we were shown is that Guts, while he may have had his preconceptions about women too, still is understanding of their struggles AND their weakness.

Like… he first gets upset at Casca, but then acknowledges that she doesn’t have it easy, dealing with her own problems and emotions at times (Casca is a VERY emotional personality, too, but usually she has more self-control than this).

If anything, this bit right here displays Guts’ willingness to change his mind, his capacity to understand others and also help them in the process. Empathy, compassion, y’know? Something he lacked during the Black Swordsman Arc (this here happens right before Vargas is being beheaded):

That being said, I don’t think Miura actually thought that women being emotional is a negative thing when he wrote this, but he may have been affected by negative (cultural?) bias.

In the face of that weakness, Guts tries to help Casca out where he can and be supportive of her, e.g. by protecting her from Adon and his men - the 100 Man slayer scene was basically Guts protecting Casca’s womanhood from thirsty mercenaries, while she COULD NOT defend herself as effective because of her state (and he does that DESPITE of Casca throwing a knife at him earlier). This theme also repeats during the Eclipse, however, here he could do nothing but watch in his own helplessness.

Also let it be said that Miura’s potrayal of Casca’s period isn’t too far off, because periods CAN knock you the fuck out like that. My last one was absolutely devastating and I wouldn’t have survived without taking pain meds. So can periods affect your capacity to fight? Yes, they definitely can. You also gotta consider that Miura is male, and males *usually* do not know the effects of periods in detail unless they confronted themselves with it; also consider the Golden Age was written in the 90s, so that topic wasn’t prevalent for men at all.

Contrast & Comparison as writing tool

Miura also set up a nice contrast by adding in a particularly sexist character: of course I’m talking about Adon.

Adon calls Guts a fool for protecting someone at the cost of his own well-being, and the way he talks it’s like saving multiple women and exploit them is normal and acceptable.

But: Guts is literally taking multiple arrow shots for Casca and does not ask for anything in return. (It’s also interesting to note that through Adon’s mockery Casca realizes what Guts is doing for her) Now, you could argue that Guts is still a sexist asshole, however, at least in comparison to Adon, Guts still appears like the good guy  You can critique the ideas about women, how their prejudices and problems they struggle with are depicted, yes, and imo it is valid critique, too. But creating comparisons by showing how differently the characters act or think in the same scene is still an effective way of story-telling.

What Miura later did with other female characters, like Farnese or Schierke, was to “mature up” his writing. His tools however, stayed the same.

More examples comes to mind:

Guts leaving the Hawks

When Guts leaves the hawks, Griffith, Guts, Casca and Judeau all hold monologues, depicting how differently they think. While Casca and Rickert view  the Hawks as family, Judeau still considers them a mercenary band, and Griffith treats his subordinate Guts like a possession and has no inhibition to kill him if it meant he would either not leave or not join another faction and potentially become his enemy. I wrote about this in more detail here on my website

Conviction Arc Farnese

The contrasting happens again when Miura makes Guts meet Farnese for the first time. He was captured by the Holy Iron Chain Knights.

Farnese treated Guts pretty badly: she whipped him out in a desperate attempt to assure dominance, then threw him outside into the cold so he would eventually freeze to death.

When Guts takes HER hostage, they switch roles. Surely, he is being rough to her, but at the same time, is saving her multiple times, e.g. from falling to death or evil spirits.

This is the same writing tool used, just filled with different ideas. Miura’s writing itself hasn’t changed.

Casca is not powerless

Also Casca indeed is capable of defending herself. She is NOT always being saved. Even when being pursued after escaping from the 100 Man Slayer Scene, she gave the pursuing mercenaries a hard time, e.g. ramming a branch into one of the merc’s eyes. In that scene, it didn’t look like Casca was losing, she just got herself out of a dangerous situation and leaps to grab her sword! Only THEN we see how a volley of arrows interrupts the fight.  Does this look like a Casca to you that is about to lose? It doesn’t to me. She could have easily defeated the other two pursuers all by herself.

Casca, NOT GUTS, later defeated Adon all by herself and she was at a disadvantage too (think the poison dart).

Even during the Eclipse she dealt the final blow to take down the apostle that killed Judeau. She is not being depicted as powerless at all. She always seems at a disadvantage, struggling against all odds, and *still* is victorious. Guts acknowledges the strength it takes for her to do what she does, and that’s why Guts is helping her as much as he can.

Now you could STILL say “omg but that’s still sexist”, but eh. There is nothing wrong with acknowledging someone else’s struggle, celebrating them for pulling through despite of all the obstacles, and also willing to help out, but I’ll keep that politics stuff for another post. Stuff like this can go wrong yes, but in either case and as far as I am concerned, Guts is not trying to be patronizing or strip her off her independence in any way.

However, Casca’s strength does have limits and her full strength was not shown to us either, but I’d like to think that’s mostly because she is more a side-character and didn’t have much chance to shine during the Golden Age. I really really hope that will change with future chapters.

TL;DR Just because an author expresses outdated ideas or ideas you disagree with, does not mean it’s bad writing.

[bubblegvms]

      ♡ . *   [   madelyn cline, cis female, she/her   ] ⁠— * oh, here comes DELILAH ABBOTT  !  the twenty-two year old libra is often referred to as the luminary. people say they have a tendency to be sententious and opinionated, but from what i’ve seen, they can be vivacious and devoted too. when they walk by, you’ll probably hear give you my lovin by mazzy star playing out of their headphones, but they’re also associated with chewing bubblegum after lunch, signing love letters with a kiss, & collecting music boxes. i hear they’re a waitress and studying women’s studies & want to become a social worker when they’re older, but who knows what will become of ‘em  !

        hey, everyone  !!  my name is diana, i am twenty years old, use she/her pronouns and reside in the est timezone  !!  some fun facts ( not really ) abt me: i’m a libra sun with a virgo moon and aquarius rising, i have 3 cats, i love film and jane austen :) i am suuuuper excited to be part of this group, ily all already and all ur muses are amazing <3 hehe i’ll be coming to u all for plots now asap :’) but anyway, without further ado, u can read abt my muse delilah under the cut  !!!

♡ . *    𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒄𝒔    !

full name : delilah lane abbott

nickname(s) : lila ( she goes by this ), dee ( by family and close friends )

age : twenty-two

zodiac : libra sun, taurus moon, pisces rising ( click )

sexuality : bisexual

alignment : neutral good

pinterest : click

♡ . *    𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌𝒈𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅    !    ( alcoholism & substance abuse tw )

delilah was born on a crisp autumn night, october 15th, 1970, to be exact. she was born in a tiny apartment in the middle of a college party. delilah’s birth mom was extremely young ( high school age ) when she got pregnant, and wasn’t sure who the father was. she came from a wealthy family, but ran away when she realized she was pregnant

her  birth  mother  also  struggled  with  alcoholism  and  substance  abuse.  those  close  to  her  did  their  best  to  make  sure  she  wasn’t  using  any  of  these  substances  during  her  pregnancy,  but  she  snuck  a  few  drinks  and  pills  here  and  there  whenever  she  got  the  chance

after giving birth to delilah, things only got worse. she continued drinking and using drugs more than ever before, often times neglecting her baby. she attempted to raise her baby with her boyfriend, who was much older than her, but he ultimately was no help and only there for a good time. delilah lived with her birth mom the first three ( almost four ) years of her life

finally, her birth mom’s parents tracked her down and discovered she had a child. once they saw the conditions she was living in, they told her she needed to put delilah up for adoption before the state took her away. so that is exactly what she did, and has been in and out of rehab ever since

delilah was adopted around a year later. at this point, she was nearly 5. she was extremely happy and felt so grateful to be adopted. while in the foster care system, she had met a lot of older kids who had been there for years

delilah’s family was so loving and welcoming, she truly could not have asked for more. 3 years later, they adopted jude and delilah became a big sister  !!!  she is extremely protective over her sister, she would literally do anything for her :’) and their parents clearly loved kids, since their basement also became the hangout spot for everyone

( donna and i are still plotting out the details about their family, but it’s only them and their mom now o: )

lila had to grow up pretty fast, so she always much more responsible and mature for her age. still, despite everything, she always maintained an optimistic outlook on life. she loves life and the people in hers so much, she just has so much love to spread  !!!!

delilah developed a passion for feminism at a young age, thanks to her mother. she would literally print out feminist readings and pass them out at lunch in high school. she’d also give speeches about feminism at school. some people disliked her for it, saying she was too opinionated and stuff, but it never stopped her. she also pretty much always knew she wanted to be a social worker

♡ . *    𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚    !

delilah always sees the best in people. although she acknowledges that everyone has flaws, she’s the type of person who doesn’t like to give up on anyone. she will support you even through your darkest times, and try to help you see the light

she is so protective of her friends and family, like will truly do anything to see them safe and happy. she just wants to remind everyone that they are loved and supported

she LOVES people soooooo much  !!!  she is extremely extroverted, literally a social butterfly who tries to befriend literally everyone ajskdhkdh

delilah dislikes conflict, so she is often playing peacemaker, whether in her home life or with her friend group. she wants everyone to get along, but be able to talk to their differences to come to some sort of common ground. however, sometimes this means shes sticking her nose in other people’s business

she is obsessed with love  !!!!  like this girl literally falls in love 5 times a day with a stranger on the bus, the coolest celebrity on tv, the girl that sits next to he in class, etc. i think she is definitely a relationship person, because she’s a nurturer and wants to be there for people. however, i think sometimes she gets caught up in the fairy tale of it all. like she wants to be in love so bad, sometimes she rushes into things or idealizes the situation in her head, so things might not exactly work out

delilah isn’t very open with her emotions. she mostly keeps them to herself, because she doesn’t want anyone to have to worry about her or anything. she tries to deal with everything herself mostly

she sees the beauty in everything, which is like partially because she’s a huge optimist. she also cannot resist pretty things. she once bought a pink guitar from a thrift store because she thought it was pretty, even though she has no idea how to play. however, she wants to learn, especially because she loves to sing ( this bitch is literally always humming )

is almost always the designated driver. she doesn’t really drink or smoke too often, and when she does, it’s during social situations. but she wants her friends to have all the fun they want and know they have someone they can count on to get them home safely. but btw she is an extreme lightweight LMFAO

some other little headcanons / tidbits about her

♡ . *    𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅  𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔    !

adventure buddy - someone who goes on little adventures with her and is always down to experience and try new things  !!!

ride or die / best friend - the person she is closest to ( aside from jude ). literally her platonic soulmate, the person who understands her the most, the person she understands the most

unlikely friends - they’re so different, you’d never expect them to be good friends. but for some reason, it just works. they click  !!  maybe they’re always introducing each other to new things, like showing each other their interests and stuff

ex-fling / gf / bf - maybe they ended on weird terms, maybe they ended on good terms, maybe they still have lingering feelings or sexual tension, etc. we can plot however  !!

unrequited crush - maybe delilah has a crush on ur muse. she is constantly falling for people so it wouldn’t be unlikely  !!  OR ur muse could have a crush on her and she’s oblivious to it

requited crush - they both like each other, but maybe they’re both too scared to make a move, or maybe they’re ready to like try going out, we can plot however  !!

friends w benefits - someone she is currently seeing / sleeping with. could be no strings attached, or there could b some feelings there. maybe they don’t want to make it anything serious, or maybe they’re ready to take it to the next level. maybe one person is ready to go further, and the other isn’t

enemies w benefits - ok not actually enemies, since they’re all friends and delilah doesnt rly hate anyone ( only racist, sexist, homophobic, etc kinds of ppl ). but maybe they don’t exactly see eye to eye, so imagine the tension  !!!  they started out not getting along that well, but ended up hooking up. maybe it was a one time thing, or maybe they can’t stop going back to each other. maybe they’re keeping it a secret from everyone else

will they, won’t they -  there’s feelings between them, but they haven’t made the plunge to pursue whatever they have. longing, yearning, lingering glances PLS  !!!  they have chemistry, but maybe the timing has always been off  ??

flirtationship - they flirt constantly, but nothing serious has come out of it and maybe never will. maybe they have good chemistry, but have never tried to explore it further, or don’t want to ruin their friendship. or maybe they flirt and think it’s a joke, but really it’s like a haha jk....unless  ?  type situation AKSJJKSD

ex-close friends - someone she used to consider a best friend, but they had a falling out for whatever reason. maybe they want to re-kindle their friendship but don’t know how, or they’re just accepting of the distance between them

take care / taken care of - ok so delilah doesnt drink or smoke a lot, but when she does, she is an extreme lightweight. maybe ur muse looks after her when she’s under the influence  ?  also  !!!  someone she looks after a lot. like she tries to take care of all her friends, but maybe she especially wants to take care of ur muse and has a soft spot for them  !!!

confidant - someone who confides in her or someone she confides in, or they confide in each other  !!!  they trust each other, and maybe they talk more in private. delilah isn’t very open about stuff, but she confides in ur muse maybe

bad influence - delilah hasn’t done a lot of bad or crazy things in her life, so i’d luvvvvv for a bad influence plot  !!  someone who gets her to do things she never would do otherwise. someone who can show her a fun time  !!

good influence - someone she can be a good influence on, someone she brings out the best in, maybe someone she rly cares about and wants to look after to make sure they’re ok  !!

diner days - she’s a waitress, maybe ur muse always shows up during her shifts to keep her company and get free milkshakes  !!  someone who helps her pass the time while she’s working

these are all the plot ideas i can think of for now, but i’ll be making a plots page later on and add more stuff  !

finally, that is all !! i’m so sorry about how long this is, i ramble so much sometimes !!! but anyway, if u like this post i’ll hit u up on discord ( if u don’t i’ll still message u <3 ). if u prefer tumblr im’s for plotting tho, just let me know <3 i’m sooo excited to rp with u all aaahhh i can’t wait  !!!!

my discord:  blackpink is coming <333333#5522

[elizabethrobertajones]

I'm really struggling w trying to get my mom (who's views on feminism are getting confronted by me everyday it seems, while claiming to be pro and shipping destiel) to understand why the women we've had on spn have been great but the writers sumtimes fuck up what we're looking for as an represented audience. (PT 1)

She hates Amara, Lilith, Meg, Lisa, Mary, anael, hannah, Jo etc and it’s frustrating bc I can’t properly convey why they’re imp w/o a structured argument that I don’t wanna have, or am unable to. Why bucklemming and Lucifer suck, why the brothers need to split. What would u say? How do I fight for these women and get the point of spn across successfully? (PT 2)

Heya! 

Argh, I’m sorry you’re having this issue because my mum seems to be 100% onboard with eeeeeverything as it comes up so I wish you could have had the same experience as me with the watching D:

I guess when you’re watching with her, try to go more subtle than insisting she like them outright immediately, but comment as things happen on how the female characters are coming across on screen - point out when they’re emotionally wounded, or conflicted, or explain their motivations in context… So if you’re watching Amara smashing stuff up in 11x09, and your mum is like ugh why is she killing all these people I hate her, explain the irony she has about trying to find her brother and how she’s personified as very human despite her eldritch origins, that in that moment they’re showing someone who has walked into a world where her brother has been slandering her so much that even his random minions he created all just implicitly know she’s evil and must be vanquished without ever asking her opinion… 

If there’s characters she likes, like maybe hopefully Jody???? try comparing Jody as a mom to Mary just to say that they’ve all had losses and idk stick on 12x06 because why WOULDN’T you rewatch it, but you can also kinda point out with more hindsight she’ll have after another season and a half about how Mary has been suffering, so if you’re rewatching you have a lot more ammo to make random comments as things happen like “Oh she and Jody both lost their kids how sad :( :( :( :( Jody can really understand what Mary is going through” nonsense

I mean I don’t know if that’s your style but I am a person who if we’re all rewatching will happily make little comments about the sort of bigger picture we know from later or muse on if things were foreshadowing and stuff… if you can pick random small moments to make comments which aren’t wildly controversial, hopefully, and seem to just be commenting on the moment as it’s happening, maybe you can build a sort of picture over time of how you see empathy and connections to the characters, without pinning your mom down and lecturing her? 

It’s waaaaaay less aggressive and you don’t actually want to get into a fight over it. if she’s pro-Destiel hopefully she’s actually pretty cool deep down, but we’re all kinda brainwashed by society to dislike female characters and not to value them as much or to second guess their motives. And especially in the first chunks of the show the female characters get very little POV motivation. I mean it happens all the way throughout, so commenting stuff like “it’s so sad we didn’t get to see what happened with Wendy” at the end of 13x11 when they just skip over that she’s now safe for time, and do the Donna and Doug break up instead, you can make small positive feminist comments about the writing choices which are pretty explanatory to the show not prioritising female characters and stuff… I  mean I don’t even think Davy Perez is bad at female character or did that maliciously and there may even have been a cut scene, but the end result over all product was that we never saw that scene between two female characters? It’s little things and it’s everywhere in the world that this is just how priorities seem to go.

I guess maybe also it’s not just SPN but try and in general make this sort of commentary about the media or how female celebrities are treated around your mum, and don’t get militant about it ever, just sort of make it a regular conversational observance when it makes sense to comment? Even just like “Oh man they really photoshopped her eyebrows, whyyyyyyyy” can add to people’s overall awareness of social issues. :D

Also… when it’s a Buckleming episode I just outright apologise to my mum for making her watch it before we start :P

[stowawayproductions-blog]

Can You Ever Forgive Me? — A Woman’s Touch Wins Out

Sometimes a basic biopic can be an okay thing. I’m usually the person railing against monotony when it comes to film structure, but every once in a while I watch a film that is formulaic in every way, and yet I can’t help enjoying myself.

Can You Ever Forgive Me? achieved this rare feat. With a beautiful Melissa McCarthy performance as its guide, this film meanders through a classic beginning-middle-end structure with empathy, humor, and taste. While I found Richard E. Grant’s slutty gay sidekick a bit grating, and the conclusion disappointingly sappy, the women win out in this feminist narrative that doesn’t feel the need to tell you how feminist it is.

The styling is perfect. If subtlety ever won awards I would hope for a best costuming nod for Arjun Bhasin, who manages to bring a reality and truth so rarely seen in film, especially in films centering on women. Lee (McCarthy) is so refreshingly normal. She’s not ugly, not the butt of a joke, she’s just average. She does wear make up, but only a bit and only when she has a real reason to; her clothes are comfortable and homely, but fit correctly and work well with her shape; her hair is greying and plain, but straight, clean and well maintained. I wouldn’t blink if I saw that person walking down my street, and it’s bizarre how rare that is for a leading character of any gender, but it is especially rare for leading ladies.

This is also possibly one of the most feminist movies of the year because it’s not “feminist” at all. There’s no undertone of misogyny or oppression in regards to gender, and yet the story is chalk full of women. It would have been so easy for them to go the route of The Wife, using “women can’t get published” as a catalyst. Instead they go for “assholes can’t get published”. In a conversation between Lee and her publisher Marjorie (Jane Curtin) — in which they hilariously trash Tom Clancy — Lee throws out the line “is it because he’s a man?”, to which Marjorie promptly responds with something like “no, it’s because he’s not a bitch to everyone around him”. We are finally starting to see true female stories, with flawed, complex characters who have other issues besides not being a man, and even more than that, we are seeing true female side characters with their own motivations and their own unique problems that aren’t just not being a man.

Lesbianism is brought up early in the film in a similarly classy fashion. Jack (Grant) asks if Lee is seeing anyone to which she responds in the ilk of “no, she’s gone”, and that’s that. With one simple pronoun we’ve learned her preference without a bunch of unnecessary pomp and circumstance, and because we are living in this world at this time, we can infer all the problems she’s probably faced without needing a big speech. McCarthy’s performance is also stellar in this regard. As she interacts with two different women in whom she is interested, McCarthy sits us right in the middle of romantic and platonic, we aren’t sure whether she wants a girlfriend or just a friend, which beautifully illustrates the level of loneliness with which Lee is struggling, and the type of person she is in regards to relating to other people.

The writers didn’t need to include a big thing on feminism and lesbian rights because they had quite enough to work with by simply exploring isolation to the core. In yet another incredibly tactful move, Heller focuses all of the films energy on a few key antagonists: loneliness, bitterness, hopelessness, and insignificance. By choosing to take a detailed look at a couple issues rather than tackling everything that Israel ever struggled with, we’re given a powerful, streamlined, and focused look at the human condition through a beautiful lens of fear and pain.

It shouldn’t be this hard to tell a story with this level of care, but since they are so rare, I applaud Marielle Heller and I hope she gets a best director nomination for her clean and refreshing approach. It’s amazing what can happen when we let women make art about women.

Rating: Good. In my top 30 of 2018.

Good 20) BlackkKlansman 21) First Reformed 22) A Quiet Place 23) Annihilation 24) Tag 25) Overlord 26) Can You Ever Forgive Me? 27) First Man 28) Blaze 29) The Miseducation of Cameron Post 30) The Hate U Give 31) Hereditary 32) Avengers: Infinity War 33) Black Panther 34) Tully 35) Searching 36) Mandy

[btvs]

all of britney spears’ songs are gay, and here’s why:

a list of all of britney spears’ singles from her albums, and why they are gay. these are just the examples because i cannot include every single song of hers on here. 

1) baby one more time. this is kind of an obscure one, where you have to look a little deeper for clues. the first one is the amount of times she says “baby.” of course, baby can be a term used towards men, but one of the times she says it, she includes “pretty” beforehand. “pretty baby” is definitely a pet name i have never heard used towards a dude. another lyric from the song is “give me a sign.” this is referring to how gay people need to give each other a sign to let the other know that they are also gay. last of all, britney “still believe[s]” that the girl she is crushing on is a lesbian.

2) sometimes. this song is about britney struggling with internalized homophobia. she expresses, “sometimes i run, sometimes i hide [...] but all i really want is to hold you tight [...] baby, all i need is time.” britney describes how she needs time to think about her feelings and if she is really ready to be in a relationship with another woman.

3) (you drive me) crazy. the level of gayness in this song can be easily shown in the music video, because the hot guy and hot girl are both shown equal amounts of time. watch it and you’ll see what i mean.

4) born to make you happy. this is a very sweet, romantic song, which could only mean one thing - it’s gay.

5) from the bottom of my broken heart. the lyric, “you were my real love, i never knew love till there was you,” shows how britney was unsure of her sexuality until she found this person, and she learned what love was when she discovered that being with a girl is what made her happy.

6) oops! i did it again. this song portrays britney’s frustration when a man falls in love with her, because she knows she is not attracted to him no matter what. she did not intend for this to happen because she does not care about men.

7) lucky. although britney is lucky in this song, she could also be singing about a girl she loves named lucky. the other option is that since she is “[crying] in her lonely heart,” she is sad because she doesn’t have a girlfriend.

8) stronger. in this song, britney has ended homophobia and is stronger because of it.

9) don’t let me be the last to know. here, britney has a crush on a girl who is embarrassed to admit she is also in love with britney because of her internalized homophobia. britney is thinking, it’s okay to be gay!

10) i’m a slave 4 u. one lyric in this song is: “always saying little girl don’t step into the club, well i’m just tryin’ to find out why ‘cause dancing’s what i love.” britney is talking about a gay club and how she is unsure why people are judging her for going to one when she just wants to have fun.

11) overprotected. this song is clearly gay, summed up in this one line: “i'm so fed up with people telling me to be someone else but me.” britney is sick of society telling her that she should be straight!

12) i’m not a girl, not yet a woman. in an interview, britney said, “[...] it’s a personal song about that transitional stage in life.” by “that transitional stage” she means realizing that she is gay.

13) i love rock n roll. this is a cover of a joan jett song, and therefore, gay.

14) anticipating. the lyric “got to show me you got everything that i need” hints that what britney needs is a woman.

15) boys. although this song is titled “boys,” britney’s lyrics show that this song is about a girl. “those lips and your brown eyes, and the sexy hair.” these are features that are usually the ones that are noticeable on girls, not boys. additionally, the last line is “can’t live with em, can’t live without em.” this quote literally is a phrase men use that actually begins with “women,” aka referring to how they can’t live with or without women. britney literally took a term about women and used it in this song.

16) me against the music. this song features madonna, queen of gays. close to when the video was released, madonna and britney had their famous kiss. in the music video, britney and madonna actually almost kiss again.

17) toxic. the music video was inspired by sydney bristow from alias which is claimed by gay people. it’s a gay people tv show, and toxic is a gay people song. gays love it. straights hate it.

18) everytime. this song is very deep and depressing. conveniently, deep and depressing is gay people’s specialty! this means the song is gay.

19) outrageous. apparently, the lyric, “outrageous. let’s be it, girl” is referring to how britney and madonna should team up and be outrageous (controversial) together. if you know what i mean. ;)

20) my prerogative. britney is fighting for gay rights!

21) do somethin’. “i see you looking at me like i'm some kind of freak.” britney subtly addresses a lot of homophobia in her songs.

22) someday (i will understand). the music video is in black and white. you know what other music video was in black and white? vogue by madonna. a gay classic.

23) gimme more. in the music video, britney is shown pole dancing with some other women. looks gay to me!

24) piece of me. “you wanna piece of me?” is the question britney asks throughout the song. the message can be interpreted as a gay metaphor, and she is saying that gay people are awesome too.

25) break the ice. the music video is basically anime. gay people watch anime. also, there are no pronouns in the song hinting that it may not necessarily be about a man. this theme is actually in many of britney’s songs.

26) womanizer. “[‘womanizer is] basically saying, ‘we know what you’re up to.’ it’s about guys cheating on girls. it’s a girl anthem. that’s why i like it. so hopefully the fans will see it that way too!” queen of feminism. she really does hate men!

27) circus. britney spears invented circuses, which are gay culture.

28) if you seek amy. this song, without a doubt, is extremely gay. britney is looking for her girlfriend, amy. britney also states that all of the boys and all of the girls want to fuck her. and she is okay with both of those! this song was also released on my birthday, which adds points.

29) radar. she might as well just say “gaydar,” because that’s the only radar people talk about and clearly what the song’s message is. gay people can notice other gay people!

30) 3. the music video shows britney being somewhat sexual with a woman. although the song describes this threesome as britney and two men, that’s not what kevin federline says britney likes.

31) hold it against me. this song is literally about katy perry’s body. although it was originally meant to be performed by katy herself, the message still stands. britney sings about how she wants katy perry’s body. maybe britney was the girl katy kissed and liked!

32) till the world ends. because there are no pronouns in this song, we really will never know if it is about a man. maybe, maybe not. probably not. if they’re dancing till the world ends, only women can do that because they’re better dancers... facts only!

33) i wanna go. britney uses a very weird repeat/echo of a word in this song - uncontrollably (lably, lably, lably). only gay people can pull that off.

34) criminal. in this song, “criminal” is a gay metaphor. she is singing about being in love with a woman like it’s a bad thing because she is again addressing homophobia. she doesn’t want anyone to worry about her being gay.

35) work bitch. bitch is a gay people word that gay people say. britney says bitch 20 times in this song. that’s like, probably a record. also, the music video is kinda gay.

36) perfume. if you ignore the real message about britney being jealous/worried that there is someone else interfering with the relationship, it sounds kind of like britney is actually in love with that woman. she wants the woman to smell the perfume that britney wore especially for her.

37) make me. we all would like to forget about this song.

38) slumber party. this is possibly britney’s gayest song, after “if u seek amy.” the music video is extremely lesbian and shows britney basically making out with tinashe. britney also said, “i think a lot of girls are gonna have a lot of sleepovers to this song, it’s definitely a song you wanna take you and your girlfriends go out and just have a great time - eat a lot of pizza and talk about boys and just be really naughty.” remembering what was in the music video makes this quote sound a lot more gay.

[loveablehands]

** the outer senshi as Metaphors for the marginalized woman experience // : 

note this is extremely stream of consciousness. lol

haruka [smiling]: don’t talk about solitude. solitude is more infinite. extending into eternity, like the places we were assigned.

usagi: tell me. uranus, neptune, pluto, what were the places you were stationed at like?

haruka: they were very lonely. they were without people. we were alone there. in such isolated places no one could come to our rescue.... but no matter what... we could look to the beautiful silver millenium and think of its beautiful queen & princess. they served as our rays of light.

michiru [also smiling]: that’s right. the light that they all emitted gave us all strength. there was nothing we couldn’t accomplish.

setsuna [also smiling]: whenever we thought it was too much to bear and wanted to give up, that light brough us the strength to carry on.

while i hc that all the sailor senshi & mamoru are lgbt, it feels to me almost like a metaphor for how more visibly marginalized people are seen on the outskirts of womanhood & girlhood, as the protectors of cishet women & girls.

but that very beautifully doesn’t make them hate cishet women & girls. they’re their friends & their platonic loves and they love all women & younger girls, and the happiness and safety of women & younger girls are important to them. 

even if having to protect them---even having to be strong for them---makes them isolated from them by nature of who they are, their greater powers (for haruka at least her greater power is literally being nc and n-b) & their position as having to do the darker, harder things for the sake of the princess & the silver millenium in solitude----their strength comes from loving women exactly as they are and desperately not wanting to hurt them OR change them, sometimes pushing them away as much as they are forcibly pushed away by contextual necessity, but metatextual institutional marginalization that forces lgbt ppl and darker skinned individuals to be hypervisible in the fight for feminism & other struggles for equality.

they love usagi, they have always loved usagi, and that makes their loneliness worse sometimes---her position as their princess and them as knights & heroes on the outskirts of literal space---it makes them feel even farther apart from her bc they can’t just be girls who are friends, they have to be protectors and guardians and this that and the other, they can never be equals, they can never be normal, they always have to be better, they always have to seperate themselves from her (and in this metaphor at least, all cishet women & girls), and that hurts.

it’s a loneliness that they understand even before they unlock all their memories----they see each other, and they want to be with each other and with usagi---and it hurts to want so bad and to not understand how to bridge the gap and be who you are, unabashed, and love girls with ur same loneliness or destiny at the same time... but also just have that be normal, have that feeling feel like it could happen every day and not like every feeling u have for another girl is the end of the world... not feel like every time u touch another girl ur not supposed to, but also u want to so desperately to end this loneliness inside you that hurts and aches and needs.

the outer senshi are terribly dramatic teenage girls, and they’re elegant, and posing, and always doing The Most and they canonically have a lot of time on their hands in the 90s, in japan, as TEENAGERS. yes they SEEM cool but if u remove that from ur vision as cool lesbians, they’re really kind of weird and overdramatic in the context of their everyday lives and how every interaction between them seems to be an extra layer of the cool dramatic lesbian story they have going in their heads?

but you know what. when ur a teenage lesbian and u remember slightly living thousands of years and also dying, you tend to put on airs. you tend to act more mature than you are. and every interaction with another lesbian counts as a Big Deal bc it feels like its never happened before---being so seen, and so understood---across literal lifetimes, all of space and time

and thats just a good metaphor for what it feels like being a gay teenager trying desperately to be cool for younger girls idk

[j-writes-and-suffers]

NaNoWriMo Day One

Silverbrook, Oregon was as cold and soggy as a melting sno-cone, and just as appealing. With a population of just over 6,500, they had exactly two sources of income: the logging industry and the local college. Located on the edge of town, Elk Grove University was the only presentable structure left in town. Founded in 1887, most of the buildings were older than women's suffrage, and it showed. Though the ivy-wrapped walls appeared sturdy, the interior was long overdue for repair, if not replacement.

Barely larger than a populous high school, Elk Grove consisted of three large stone buildings, arranged in a U-shape, with a courtyard in the middle and a few newer annexes outside the main U. Students could often be seen milling about the courtyard in warmer months, but by early November, no one went outside without a good reason. As it was currently only late August, the school was still showing some semblance of life. Students were hauling bulky luggage into the western building, home of the dorms and dining hall. To the east, in the administration building, professors were setting up offices, with student assistants helping them haul boxes. The president of the university was sitting in his office, staring out the window as the impending hell of a new semester materialized outside. Julian Moore looked like a well-composed, professional man. Six feet tall and broad-shouldered, an air of authority followed him whatever he went. Right now, though, he was filled with an air of dread, slouched in his desk chair and scowling into a cup of coffee. He hated this job so fucking much. He wasn't bad at it, he was actually an excellent president. Organized, charismatic, and ambitious, he represented their tiny, unknown school with impressive vigor, drawing in funds and students every year with his speeches and presentations.

Despite this, Julian would rather be doing just about anything else. He'd trade places with the garbage man, or even a local bum in a heartbeat. Alas, such was not an option. He was locked into his position, not by tenure or contract, but by a curse.

Twenty-seven years ago, he and his step-sister, Lula had been attending Elk Grove as students. She had loved the small-town folksiness, while he had dreamed of moving to a big city. They often bickered, about the worth of tiny towns, the validity of each others’ degrees, and anything else on the face of the earth two people might debate. In their senior year, he had rubbed her wrong in some petty manner - perhaps stealing a pen, or accidentally spilling her morning coffee - and incurred her wrath. Unbeknownst to Julian, Lula was a witch, and she had cursed him out of spite. Much to his chagrin, he was now stuck at Elk Grove, having worked his way up the ladder of authority almost accidentally.

Julian couldn't leave his current position if he tried, and he had certainly tried. He'd staged public breakdowns, openly told the state school board to eat shit, and even attempted to fling himself off the top floor of the main building. However, no matter the chaos he caused, he would wake up the next day in a well-made bed, with no sign or consequence of the havoc wreaked the night before.

At the moment, he was daydreaming, wondering whether the curse could repair a North Korean missile strike. Julian was brought out of his fantasy by a knock on the door, and he sat up, smoothing his shirt and calling out “Come… ahem, come in.”

A lively young man swung open the office door, smiling broadly and bouncing on his toes. He looked barely older than the grad students, his chin-length blond hair loose and wavy. Fumbling through the messenger bag on his shoulder, he pulled out a slightly-crinkled paper, offering it across the desk. “President Moore? My name is Philip. Philip Valentine. I'm the new English professor?”

“Right. You’re the one they sent in from Portland.” Julian nodded.

“Yes sir!” Philip smiled, offering a hand to shake. “It’s a pleasure to be working with you. My professors back in Portland spoke highly of you.”

“I’m sure they did…” The older man sighed, giving Philip’s hand a firm shake. “Have you been assigned an office yet?”

“Yes sir. I just finished dropping off my things. Do we not have elevators? Four floors of stairs is a long walk…”

“We technically have elevators, but I wouldn’t trust them to move my laundry.”

Philip nodded understandingly. “Ah. I see. Looks like I’ll be getting in shape, then.”

“That you will, son. Is there anything else I can do for you?” Julian asked.

“No, I don’t think so. It was good to meet you. I’ll see you around campus, sir.”

“Yes, you too. Have a nice day, son.” The president climbed to his feet, walking around the desk to lead Philip away. Once the door closed behind him, Julian let out a sigh of relief. It was good for the school to have an enthusiastic new teacher, but holy hell was he exhausting to be around.

Down the hall, the perky young man had paused to check his cell phone. Reception in Silverbrook was spotty, but the edge of town near campus seemed to have decent signal. Philip smiled. His mother had sent a text wishing him good luck at his new job, followed by a picture of his dog, supposedly also wishing him well. He sighed, sending back a heart emoji before putting his phone away. This was the first time he’d be living more than ten miles from home. It felt strangely adult, but also painfully lonely.

Philip was pulled from his thoughts by the growl of his stomach; he’d been in too much of a hurry this morning to eat, and was now starving. Trotting back down the stairs, he made his way to the dining hall, smiling and waving at every student he passed. Once there, he grabbed a coffee and a turkey sandwich, settling at a corner table with his laptop. He scrolled through his emails, diligently reading each one before replying or deleting it. It took about an hour to clean out his inbox, between all the messages from HR, the daily spam of school news, and questions from his new students.

Now that his email was cleared, Philip found himself idly browsing Facebook. He couldn’t help but feel successful - while he was starting his professional career, his friend Mindy was pregnant (again), Joseph was still working as a barista, and Rich was in his 7th year of attempting to complete his Bachelor’s degree. Then again, maybe his friends just weren’t setting the bar very high.

The dinner rush started piling into the cafeteria, the ambient volume rising from “peaceful French cafe” to “Disneyland the first week of summer.” Philip closed his laptop, tucking it back into his bag. There was no way in hell he could focus on lesson plans surrounded by gossip and memes; he’d get sucked into the first interesting conversation and end up talking for hours. He needed somewhere quiet to work if he wanted to get anything done.

The oldest, largest building outside of the main U, the Elk Grove library was a three-story tower of grey stone, casting a long, chilly shadow on the walkway leading up to it. This area of campus was unpopulated even by Silverbrook standards; maybe because it was so far out of the way, or maybe because the dark, gloomy edge of the forest wasn’t very welcoming. Or maybe Elk Grove students were just lazy and illiterate.

Philip tugged on the large brass handle, struggling to open the wooden door. At first, he thought it might be locked, but he pulled harder and realized it was just remarkably heavy. The inside was warm and inviting, rich with the scent of old leather and worn paper. He looked around wide-eyed at the smooth stone walls, stacked high with books of every imaginable subject and genre. This was some Hogwarts-level shit, and Philip felt thoroughly out of place. Should he have brought a wand instead of a laptop?

He crept further into the building, walking lightly for fear of disturbing the quiet atmosphere. The main level was filled with desks and chairs, most of which seemed to be older than second-wave feminism. Several times, Philip found himself hovering over a chair, too afraid to actually sit down. Everything here looked wise and ancient, and he felt horrifically young and dumb in comparison. He was standing hesitantly over a really cozy-looking armchair when a quiet voice spoke up behind him.

“Can I help you find something?”

Philip jumped, spinning around to see a tall slender man in a tweed jacket, with a book under one arm and a small smile on his face. His eyes were bright green with a ring of yellow around the iris, and his mousy brown hair was greying around the temples. Despite this, he actually didn’t look all that old; Philip wagered the man might was, at most, forty. Caught off guard by the stranger’s charming smile, it took the younger man a moment to compose a reply.

“Uhm, I… I think I’m okay, actually. I was just looking for a quiet place to work. The dining hall is really loud and my office is barely the size of a shoebox.” Philip explained.

The older man chuckled, adjusting his rimless glasses and offering a hand to shake. “Well, you’re welcome to work in here. It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m the librarian, so if you need anything, just call. Lucien Lyall, at your service.”

Philip accepted Lucien’s hand, smiling warmly. “I’ll remember that.”

Lucien nodded, pulling away and dipping his head in farewell before disappearing around a shelf. His footsteps were remarkably quiet, like a ninja in fluffy socks. No wonder he had snuck up on Philip so easily.

As he returned his hands to his pockets, Philip felt a tickle in the back of his throat. He ignored it for the moment, busy plucking up the courage to take a seat. He crouched over the armchair again, still too nervous to desecrate the ancient leather with his modern ass. After a moment, however, his leg cramped, and Philip plopped unceremoniously onto the seat. To his delight, it was just as comfortable as it had looked. He decided on the spot that he was going to enjoy himself at Elk Grove. This wasn’t just his workplace, it was his new home.