#lotl writes

[r0nnn13]

Prayer

[cairafea]

houseki no kuni brainrot doodles. ichikawa please release the new chapter soon the hnk countdown twitter account is gonna run out of pages to attach to each tweet

[houseki-no-ocs]

Sneaky Peaky...

A little excerpt from my final draft of the script for Realm of Luster's first chapter :3

[admiramethyst]

so depressing that I can’t do my thesis on houseki no kuni…. god I want to so bad

[ebbpettier]

@artsyunderstudy and @imagineacoolusername thank you for the tags o7 (and anyone else who does, i'm just EARLY today)

i waffled a little bit about posting this, because when i write i'm like "fuck it, give away the ending, REVEAL THE ENTIRE PIECE", but when i'm drawing i seize up like a possum if anyone sees it before it's absolutely finished

and i'm trying not to do that! you would not believe how much stuff i draw but don't post because it doesn't meet my personal standard of stick-a-fork-in-it done-ness.

so here's one of my meme edits i'm trying to motivate myself to work on:

simon sunburn snow salisbury

@stitchyqueer @shrekgogurt @anybodyelsewhowantstoparticipate

TAG YOU'RE IT

[hanzajesthanza]

lady of the lake is like. nimue and condwiramurs join their autistic powers to summon ciri, the patron saint of autism

[kiwanekiwi]

i just entered in artask for hnk so now i starting draw professor aum A LOT

[rin-chan32]

Of Lost Memories and Distant Feelings WIP

“Did you… mean for this to happen?”

A laugh as smooth as the sap on the trees fell out of Lapis’ mouth. Phos didn’t look at them, but they watched their shadow as they effortly shoved hair off their shoulder.

“Of course not.” Their feet shuffled as they took a few steps near them, their shoes reflecting the sun. “But, I can’t say that I didn’t expect something like this to happen.”

Phosphophyllite stared at the ground before moving to look up at them. Lapis Lazuli stood tall above them, their hair cascaded down, concealing their face in shadows. Their brilliant blue and tinted gold eyes stared at them with a sly smile on their lips. They held their hands behind their back, and fingers looped with one another.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, can you blame me?” Lapis looked up at the blank canvas before them, their heel tapping on the cracked surface. “You can’t say that you didn’t expect something like this to happen. Of course, being left stranded on the island wasn’t a part of the plan.”

“Then what did you expect?”

“Feisty, aren’t we?” They looked at them before laughing once more. Their hair followed them as they strutted over to their other side. “Though, I can’t say that I don’t blame you. You’ve lost a lot, Phos, probably more than you realize.”

[pinknatural]

the problem is that i don’t want dean to achieve his purgatory goals too quickly but also wtf should i even have him doing in there :/

[radishleaf]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 宝石の国 | Houseki no Kuni | Land of the Lustrous (Anime & Manga) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Euclase/Lapis Lazuli (Houseki no Kuni) Characters: Euclase (Houseki no Kuni), Lapis Lazuli (Houseki No Kuni) Additional Tags: Shippy Gen, kinda have to squint to see the shipping but it is there!, probably more apparent toward the end lol, Developing Friendships, Fluff Summary:

During a tactical debriefing, a sudden revision piques Euclase's attention.

[glitchadeli]

Alrighty, I've been meaning to upload this to Tumblr for a WHILE but I knew it was gonna be a lot of texting / explaining so I had to brace myself for all of it LMAO! Get ready for a LONG explanation about all these guys!! ^^

~

These are the 'main' next gens for my TAWoG AU, which I dubbed a long time ago the "String of Fate" AU (SoF) - if you saw my 'intro' post to my AU you'd know that my AU started differently - that is true!

When I first started my AU I had a whole story planned, I wanted to write it like a full on fanfiction with chapters 'n storylines!! However I.. am not confident in my writing. Over time I got less and less confident in my ability to write the stories - I found the medium of making a timeline to be MUCH more simple so that's what I started doing! It made it easier to say "hey this event happens here" and it just became my preferred way of telling the 'story'.

So eventually I will have a whole post explaining the entire timeline of my AU but that's still in the works if I'm being honest. I still have some storylines that need to be finished. (They're not big elaborate storylines btw, some of them are just mini arcs that some characters go through. My AU isn't super serious, it has its moments, but for the most part I wanted it to be fun!! Ya know?)

For now I at least wanna introduce everyone since my AU has tons of characters. (Lots of next gens lol) so starting off with the Watterson boy's kiddos. (Anais has her own family too but they'll get their own chart / explanation eventually!) I just think it's easier to stick to Gum and Dar's kids first anyway!! Gumball ends up with Rob and they have 6 kids, 1 of them biologically being Penny's but Rob sees Cas as his own. (and Cas see's Rob as more of a parent than Penny (something to be explored later) so yeah!) Lemme introduce everyone properly ~

-

There's Caspian (Cas), Zipper (Zip), Cosette (Cos/Cozy), Elliot (Eli) and then the twins - Roe and Rem! (Cas and Zip joke that they're twins too because they're 3 days apart in age.)

I explained how Cas came to be in this post - so I won't go over it too much, what I WILL explain is Zip since his existence has confused a few people. "How is he 3 days younger than Cas?" / "How did 2 males have a kid?" / ect.

I won't explain the story aspects juuuust yet so all you need to know is - Rob went all science-y and took some of Gum's DNA. Mixing it with his own to create a kid - which is Zip. Zip was born from an 'artificial womb' / incubator for anyone wondering. I know that's not realistic but this is TAWoG we're talking about.. I could literally say Rob sneezed which caused Zip appeared and it could be canon. It doesn't matter if 'two males can't have kids' - they can in this fictional universe!! So get over it ~

Anyway, Cas was born on November 10th (1992 - yes my AU even has the years figured out LOL) and Zip was born 3 days later on November 13th. Skipping some story stuff; Rob and Gum have their first child together / after marriage, which is Cosette. She's born when Cas/Zip are 7. (Gum is 24 and Rob's 25 for anyone who was wondering.) Then Elliot was born 3 years later and then 2 years after that were the twins! Gum and Rob love their little big family very much <33

-

Then we get to Darwin's family - he's a single dad and his kids are Pearlene (Pearl), Lilith and Kid.

Pearl was just like him - a sentient pet who grew a connection in order to 'grow legs' (except she already had legs.. being a lotl so.. she grew lungs LOL). Her connection is to both Cas AND Zip! (Unlike Darwin being 2 years younger than Gum, Pearl is only 1 year younger than Cas/Zip.)

Then there's Lilith. She… oh man she's a weird creature. I don't even know how to explain her.. so she'll get her own post eventually!! (Cause Echo was the one who created the idea of her species so I'll try to have Echo's help in explaining them - Echo has one in their AU too!! His name is Kevin. I love Kevin. ANYWAY-) Lilith is just a creature™ and we love her :)

Aaaand finally there's Kid - a puppet come to life - situation. His whole story is still being finalized but let's just say.. certain puppets were involved. A certain purple one. A certain blue/green/yellow one. And a certain clown-based one. If you know you know. Darwin loves his babies very very much! <33

"Glitch, why is Darwin not with anyone / Carrie?" - Honestly that's just because… I don't know who I ship him with..?

Darwin was my first ever true comfort character but when I got into the show literally the Halloween episode (1st indication he ever liked Carrie) was still a NEW episode so I wasn't sure how I felt about the ship. And now as an adult… the age gap really throws me off. I'm sure 'ghost years' might be different or the show was just joking about the 300+ thing but… being 327 and dating a 10 year old… it just… makes me feel uncomfortable. So in my AU - Darwin and Carrie break up at some point in their early teen years. (er well.. Darwin's anyway.) They're still good friends and there's no bad blood whatsoever!!

As for why Darwin doesn't end up with anyone - I just don't have anyone in mind. As a joke I did wanna set him up with Hot Dog Guy but that doesn't really work for reasons I'll explain later. and I know some people ship Dar and Julius but the age gap there made it worse for me too. (In my AU Julius is like.. 6 years older than Darwin. I just always felt he was much older so I could see them being friends, but nothing more. Sorry Julwin shippers.) - but yeah, honestly I think Darwin's fine as a single dad - he's great and having Gum 'n Rob's support they're like a team, it all works out!!

-

"Glitch, what did you mean you couldn't have Guy and Darwin together?" … There’s a character limit here so I.. have to make a 2nd post about the partners!! I’ll link it here though!! ^^

Link to the explanation about the partners is here <- !!

[inhibited-irregularity]

Since the voting was truly abysmal and the real winner was robbed by the corrupt juries, might as well make a "they deserved better" list including both semis and the grand finale and considering both juries and the general public. So, in an attempt to be as objective as I can, here's my

☆♥︎THEY DESERVED BETTER♥︎☆

In no particular order:

🇩🇪 Germany, Lord of the lost - Blood and glitter: I admit that I wasn't a fan in the beginning, and even made a post about how I wish that the rock entries went harder and that LOTL should either commit to hardcore or be more silly with the song. I found the cheesy lyrics delivered in such a serious and dramatic manner cringey, BUT, after their performance last night, changed my mind completely. First of all, I ADORE the lead singer's vocals (and he seems like a cool guy), and the song itself has some seriously good moments, not to mention how freakin catchy it is. Their energy was through the roof, the performance was flawless, and in spite of my initial reaction to the song, I bought it and genuinely loved it. It felt like watching a concert by one of my favorite bands. Not my winner, but I was really disappointed with how low they scored.

🇪🇸 Spain, Blanca Paloma - Eaea: ROBBED. Over the years, the juries projected an image of people that look for all things *artistic* in a song (even though it usually translates as a pretentious kid in art college with no real taste picking the thing they think their 50yo profesor would approve of). Well, they be blind, since Blanca Paloma brought IT, and they failed to recognize. Outstanding vocals, stunning visuals, the power of the entire performance, and all the emotion and significance packed into a seemingly simple concept. It was more like a movie scene than a musical competition entry, she transported me into another dimension and unlocked something ancient and wonderful. All the people I've talked to had different favorites, but they all had strong, immensely positive reactions to Spain. I literally teared up and had a spiritual experience with Blanca Paloma's performance, and the energy she exuded was undeniably healing, freeing and over-all cathartic. While I knew that her chances of winning were slim and I didn't count on the public vote, she deserved SO MUCH MORE from both general public and the juries.

🇦🇹 Austria, Teya and Salena - Who the hell is Edgar: One of my favorites from the very beginning. A quality pop song with a bop-y rhythm and ingenious lyrics. Under the guise of random and silly, there's quite a few things implied - the obvious criticism of the music industry and the more subtle "people are readier to believe that a ghost of a famous writer possessed me than that a woman can write quality lyrics and have a sense of humor" (shout-out to generations of men claiming Kurt Cobain wrote Courtney Love's songs and lyrics, work on your reading comprehension) While that might be a personal observation, here's what absolutely stands. They're adorable, funny, had a fun choreography, a catchy song, the lyrics that are fun even if you don't analyze them, great personalities, solid performance, perfect delivery and the right amount of quality with a dash of random that matches Iceland's Dađy Freyr and that y'all claim to respect. Shame on the audience; the jury can't recognize talent anyway.

🇸🇮 Slovenia, Joker out - Carpe Diem: Not much left to say. Good song, good vibes, all the charisma in the world. They had Måneskin's synergy, they had a good time, the audience had a good time with them, and they were confident in a non-pretentious manner. Special mention for Bojan, the lead singer, who's shown such sportsmanship, was truly an example of a perfect esc. representative. The entire band seems very fun to hang out with, and while they're goofy, they seem very smart with how they manage to balance witty and respectful in interviews. Members aside, their music is refreshing and perfect for people that find mainstream pop repetitive but aren't into anything too heavy. Perfect for a summer music festival or a feel-good playlist.

🇵🇹 Portugal, Mimicat - Ai, coração: you know she's something special when her entire home country shows such support and excitement. I wasn't a fan at first when I saw the national performance, it seemed a bit out-dated and frankly a bit too weird for my taste, but she changed my mind as soon as she took the stage in the first semi. In my opinion, a Broadway-worthy performance, and such personality! Fun aunt vibes, and one of the coolest people this year. When I grow up, I wanna be her.

🇭🇷 Croatia, Let 3 - Mama, ŠČ: The juries are such cowards, honestly. I was familiar with some of the band's history and not everything they did was exactly my taste, but what else to expect from a band so unhinged. I had some misgivings, but they won me over quickly. The punkest thing Eurovison has seen in recent years. That's how you do anti-war, Switzerland. Satire on point. Weird, meaningful, fun, grotesque. How something like that didn't do better in Eurovision is beyond me. But leave it to the cowardly juries that left Italy's Ermal Meta and Fabrizio Moro with almost no points to do just that. I'm still butthurt.

🇷🇸 Serbia, Luke Black - Samo mi se spava: Listen, I was NOT a fan. All the homophobes aside, everyone in the country and their mom was gushing about how original and unique the song is, which can be annoying to someone who's as exposed to various aspects of pop culture as I am (humble,I know), and I still think his singing could be better. At first, he was a bit awkward and seemed pretentious during the national selection. However, the performance did stand out, he amped his energy and put such effort, and there's no denying the flawless staging and production and how well it suits him, and over time, he's proved to be a funny, likeable and down to earth guy (with flawless fashion sense). I'm proud of him and how he represented the country, and he definitely didn't deserve to be at the bottom of the list.

🇮🇸 Iceland, Diljá - Power: I'm OUTRAGED that it didn't qualify and can only call lesbophobia idk. I mean, Im not familiar with her sexuality, but if I've ever seen something that doesn't give a damn about the male gaze, this would be it. Still, it's beyond me how she didn't qualify. One of the best vocals this year, not to mention she sung FLAWLESSLY while running and jumping all over the stage with zero breaks. The track itself is meh to me, but should be something that Eurovision fans enjoy; that being said, the vocal and performance can make or break a song with such a track, and she ATE. Power indeed, I was blown away. Her being super-cute is just a bonus. She has my heart and my votes ♡ Too bad people didn't agree.

🇷🇴 Romania, Theodor Andrei - D.G.T: Ok, I can't shout that he deserved to qualify, I knew the chances were slim and the song had some ways to go, not to mention the hot mess of a national performance. However, he doesn't deserve ANY hate that he's getting, and in my opinion, he was the best male vocal this year. I'm in love with his voice and he doesn't lack charisma either. I loved the re-vamp with the acoustic guitar, but at the end of the day, the stage was a bit empty. I will add D. G. T. to my playlist though, and I wish him a wonderful career and a powerful return.

🇱🇻 Latvia, Sudden Lights - Aijā; Well, this one hurts. I know it wasn't a fan favorite, but I was rooting for it so much and still think it deserved to qualify over some *questionable* entries. While it was something straight out of my high-school playlist, I didn't find it derivative and it was warm, touching and comforting. And beautiful, goddammit. I get how it's not everyone's cup of tea, but come on.

🇵🇱 Poland, Jann - Gladiator: Was this a jumpscare? Lol. No need to write a huge paragraph, the entire world knows that he was robbed. I've never seen someone so charismatic and meant to be a performer, and I enjoyed both the song, the lyrics and the delivery, even though I immediately noticed a similarity with Judas by Lady Gaga. However, I feel obliged to say that he should work on his vocals and that y'all wouldn't be so mad if he didn't look the way he looks. Still, the true choice of Poland, and I have no doubt he would've done great in the final.

AND FINALLY .....

THE ONE TRUE WINNER

💚💚💚💚🇫🇮🇫🇮🇫🇮💚💚💚

Käärija (my beloved) - Cha Cha Cha:

Ok, he didn't lack the love or the appreciation. But the RIGGERY. The ROBBERY. THE AUDACITY.

First of all, the song is a banger. It mixes industrial rock, techno and eurodance perfectly, with flawless transitions, while managing to catch the ears of people that aren't into any of those genres. Great intro that pulls you in immediately, and the pacing done just right. Now onto Käärijä himself. He's a fucking star. A legend. It's impossible not to like him. Every video of him I've seen was so much fun. Performance wise, great energy, great delivery. The song manages to appeal so many people with staying unique and checking all the boxes. Want something for the angst? He got you. Want something upbeat? Cha cha cha motherfuckers. Want weird? "My name is Kääärijää", there's our green man. Want quality production? Boy from Vantaa's got it.

The only possible criticism I can see him receiving is something along the lines of "it's gimmicky", which is frankly a ridiculous thing to say about a Eurovision entry (insert the Maryl Streep from Devil Wears Prada meme) and if it were gimmicky, he wouldn't have become the only artist to ever have his name chanted by the entire audience while Sweden gets points, and I wouldn't have replayed it so many times since it came out without getting bored. Honestly, one of the rare songs that puts me in a good mood, cos it has that "starting from anger and angst and acknowledging bad feelings and THEN bringing you to upbeat and happy" thing going on. Eh. Fuck the jury.

This concludes my list. Special mentions.

Not my cup of tea, but deserved the praise - Norway, Italy, Australia, Armenia

Deserved more public votes, undeniable quality, but faded into the background compared to my other favs - France, Czechia

Not for me but I get it- Moldova, Estonia, Georgia

+ Acknowledging Malta for pulling that performance and getting everything possible out of a song that relies entirely on one catchy hook. Most improved entry since the nationals, good show, likeable group, fun staging.

[limerental]

ficletvember 2023 - day 26

twn jaskier pov of lotl ft. yennskier

After everything, Jaskier knows there are some stories that evade being written into song.

content warning for lotl spoilers so. mcd.

The ethereal fog hushed the sound of his footfalls. Distantly, he recalled admiring how the heels of his new boots had clacked on the uneven cobbles as he strode into town, but now, Jaskier heard nothing. Not even the wind.

When he bent, the creak of his knees surely echoed in the silence, but the little crowd huddled on the street did not seem to hear. 

He was getting old. He'd had a lot of time lately to be glad for that and a similar measure of guilt that so many had died so young. The recent war's list of the dead went on for pages and pages of yellowed parchment and those names were only the conscripted soldiers, not the slaughtered peasant men or farmer's wives or scores of non-humans in towns like this one. 

Or the small number dead in a battle whose outcome had had no consequence in a fortress that no longer existed, forgotten.

Jaskier had not yet written that story into song and may never. He would hate to hear his own verse warbled by some drunk in a tavern who could never know the little details that evaded preservation. Milva's wheezing laugh. Cahir's snoring at night. The clove scent of the vampire. The girl's colorful curse words. 

He hated his part in that story. That his being alive to tell the tale meant his cowardice had prevailed, and he had let them go on without him. 

Jaskier knew he would not write the story of what had happened here for a very long time. 

For a moment, he crouched on the quiet street and reached to brush the fall of dark hair out of the pale face. He tried hard not to look at the blood-stained cobbles. He almost wept then, once would have been a weepy, useless mess from the start, but there would be time for weeping later. 

He could do this now at least. This small thing. He stooped further to crook his arms under legs and shoulders, lifting past the strain of his back.

He was getting old. 

Jaskier had foolishly feared that those he loved would outlive him. That he would retire as an aging poet to the coast somewhere, and the little family would visit from time to time and reminisce together. 

And maybe that they would be there when he finally croaked, his weathered hands cupping their soft faces. Older, yes, not immortal, but long-lived enough to have a lifetime without him. Maybe to think of him fondly in quiet moments and remember those nights fumbling together and visit to lay flowers on his grave.

She felt small in his arms. Impossibly light. It seemed terribly wrong, that weightlessness. 

To him, the very thought of her was the heaviest thing in the world.

He lay his lips against her brow and held there. He whispered the things he had never told her. How those few nights they had spent lying in one another's arms, even knowing that neither was destined wholly for the other, had meant more than he could ever shape into poetry. 

If all of those details vanished into forgotten history, unsung, then so be it. Only he would remember the fond derision of her affectionate mockery, the softness of her wild hair, his thrill when her voice whispered low to speak with hushed sincerity against his skin. 

Even when this song was sung, he would let who they were together be lost to history. 

His role in the story had only ever been outside of it. 

Drawing a shuddering breath that was loud in the quiet, Jaskier hitched the body higher in his arms and carried Yennefer to the water.

[andordean]

Intro Post Is Here

I promised myself I would make an intro post with my fic list when I hit a followers milestone, and lo and behold, the time has come to make good on that promise. 

(Breathe in. You got this, Dor. Ok, here we go.)

Welcome, friends. If you followed me sometime in the last year and a half, here’s a funny story for you: I used to write Witcher fics (a lot even, at one point) (and I pray I will write again, though at the moment brain be words what no speaky English). (But I digress.)

What you can find on my blog: shitposting, sarcasm, salt—and Ciri. A lot of Ciri. (Often tagged as: "brat <3". No reason.) Also, many Ciri pairings. We support most Ciri pairings in this house.

What you can find on my AO3: Also a lot of Ciri in different pairings, or sometimes in multiple pairings, as (a) I am a multishipper and (b) Ciri is bi and can do no wrong and (c) has two hands and a hatred for cages and also (d) poly/open relationships are the new love triangles and we need more of them, actually.

Specifically:

"Blood Ties" verse, aka Queen of Cintra verse (aka mammoth), or a 100k words novel in three parts about what happens if neither witchering nor ruling the empire (nor dying, I guess) fully satisfies our girl's ambitions. (Answer: let’s go and shake up the geopolitical landscape of the post-TW3 Continent, reclaim your throne, piss off Dijkstra in the process, make new allies and enemies both, grow and heal, get what you wanted, find indulgence, and also love. Ships aplenty, including some nobody else thought of. Just saying.)

"Broken Pieces" verse, or what happens if Cahir survives, but somewhat fails to move on (he tries), and Ciri fails to be indifferent (she also tries). (Answer: witchering shenanigans, but also some family reunions, Ceallach being a Smart Cookie, Geralt being the Daddest Dad, Ciri being a brat, but also right, but also needing a reality check and to get her head out of her ass. Spoiler alert: happy/bittersweet ending. It’s Witcher-verse, after all.)

"Splinters" verse, or what happens when the author develops a brainrot. (Answer: modern!AU with the main theme being: everyone is thirsty for Cahir/Eamon’s hands. Banter, pinning, thirst, smut, and more banter. Past that comes back to bite everyone in the ass, heartbreak, and a happy ending. Always a happy ending. And Angouleme being the Best Gremlin.)

“The Ghost of You”, or what happens when Ciri gets Ideas, and tries to use Cahir to get what she wants. (Formerly known as the Cancel WIP. Mind the tags with this one; set during LotL, unhealthy coping mechanisms aplenty, trauma and PTSD galore, leading to the first steps of healing. It’s always, always about healing with these two.)

“Sing To Me In The Dark”, or what happens if Cahir finds himself in Kaer Morhen to help defend it from the Hunt. (Answer: the author wants to know too. Although the author mostly knows, but brain no speaky English, see above.)

“Hunter’s Moon”, or what happened in Beauclair during the hansa stay there, from the point of view of a certain succubus. (Answer: a certain vampire attempting to be a smartass, not always succeeding; smut and banter, and more smut. Also, a heartbreak.)

If you like any of the above and tell me about it, chances are I’ll be making you a birthday gift the following year.

In the meantime, enjoy the shitposting, the salt, the sarcasm—and Ciri.

[homo-ousios]

Okay, since season 2 of good omens has sandblasted me back into fandom-brain, here are the links to my fic. They’re all happy endings, for anyone who needs cheering up right now lol.

Land of the Living (M): continuation of the first season, where they find a way to be together without heaven or hell. Features plot about Crowley’s chains, side ineffable bureaucracy, some very heartfelt and gentle smut, and most importantly, angst with a happy ending.

It’s my first, longest, and most popular fic, and to this day the most fun I have ever had writing.

The LotL extras, including an alternate POV of ch. 15 (The World, E), a missing scene between chs. 15 and 16 (The Light Before My Eyes, T), and an ineffable bureaucracy follow-up (Skulking in Soho, T).

Samson: A Duet (E): inspired by the Regina Spektor song, it’s a canon-compliant interpretation of the events of season one. One night in the desert after Eden, and 6 millennia of mutual pining. I dialed the smut and angst up to 100, completely heedless of the possibility that someone from real life might read this one day. But it also has a very happy ending. Sometimes called “the one with the pomegranates.”

If you read and enjoy, come make friends! I always answer comments, and I wanna be involved in the fandom again 🥹

[charlie-rulerofhell]

Hookers and cocaine for the ludicrous Lord

(the title actually translates to “the funny Lord” but it’s an intentional play with an alliteration that they joke about in the podcast, so i wanted to give you an alliteration as well, your’re welcome :))

So, yesterday, the new episode of Met und Moshpit aired, which is a German podcast hosted by two members of the medieval rock metal group Saltatio Mortis. This time with Chris Harms as their guest, and since SaMo and LOTL know each other for quite some time, the whole vibe was just very sweet and entertaining (honestly, for all German folks, check it out, it’s #61 here, you’ll have a great time).

For everyone else, you’ll find a recap below (I marked the keywords for easier navigation, because it got a little longer). Chris talked about lots of interesting stuff, some old stories, some new, so you may also find something that you didn’t know about yet :)

they start with some ESC talk and what them getting chosen as the German representatives means for the music scene (Chris says that they do not see the result as a loss, as both they and other bands of the scene have gained a lot of popularity through it, which makes them very happy. He also mentions that they had a great time with the other artists at the ESC, so they enjoyed it very much.)

during their makeup routine they mostly listen to Scooter and Deichkind

Chris chose Blümchen as a duet partner because they share the same love for Roxette 

about Roxette: They were his style inspiration as a teenager. Because of Per Gessle, he started wearing nail polish and makeup, and because of Marie Fredriksson, he began dying his hair blond. “I was like a chameleon, a mixture between the both of them.”

for ten years now, Chris is regularly writing mails to the management of Roxette, asking for some form of collaboration (”And I won’t stop until I’m dead.”)

some talk about his musical career: playing cello since he’s 5, learning guitar autodidactically, writing his first songs with 12/13; first contact with the Dark scene at around 18, with metal at 20; sound engineering studies at the age of 22

a huge part of the conversation deals with “trueness” in music

about fights between the genres: there’s already too much fighting and war on this planet, we do not need any more unnecessary fights (preach!)

For a while, Chris saw their own mixture of genres more as a curse than a blessing (there was a lot of pressure by other musicians and organisers for musical events to align themselves with one genre). Today, he feels differently (”Our bug became our feature”).

for Chris, the only real “trueness” is to follow your own heart (<3)

some reminiscence of the beginnings of LOTL (about 500 to 700 concerts with basically no income at all, not even having enough money for a hotel room and sleeping on the carpet at fans’ places)

he’s very thankful for the recent success, even though it can still be hard sometimes (like motivating the crowd at the Maiden concert in Finland recently -- however, Steve Harris told him afterwards that this was just how Finnish people were. he enjoys this battle for the crowd’s attention though, and he also talks about how it always gives him a huge happiness boost when he looks over to the sides, and the Iron Maiden members are standing there, listening, vibing .. :))

they gave 622 interviews since the beginning of January 

they’re still trying to keep the balance between bigger concerts and small club gigs, because they also like this back-to-the-roots more intimate settings

about hate comments: Most of the time, he likes to read comments, and he wants to know what fans are writing or if they might have any questions he could answer. Sometimes he has to distance himself, however.

the time after the ESC where thousands of “brown-blue” bigots (basically, the right-wing followers of Germany’s nazi parties) flooded the comment sections, was pretty tough for him, and while reading all those, mostly homophobic, comments he constantly had to remind himself that those people are just a fraction of the population and that not everyone thinks that way

“The hate those people spread says a lot about those commenting not about those that they are making comments about.”

Chris never reads critiques / reviews (though some of the other band members do occasionally, especially when it’s written by someone they know will only write bs). He knows, however, that if he read something like “using such a riff is a huge no-go!”, he would remember that the next time he’d try to sit down and get creative. So bad words don’t hurt him anymore, but he doesn’t want to get influenced by them.

about the two butt plugs paperweights (one with Chris’s face on it) that they sent to the Vatican:

it was more of a crazy idea that resulted out of yet another rant talk about the church and their discriminating teachings, and how the Vatican should “loosen up”, and “open up” a little -- and so the idea was born

they tracked the package and saw that it actually reached the Vatican, even though they doubt that the pope even knows about it (it was addressed to him personally)

the thought that someone in the Vatican actually opened that package to see what’s inside, and might have even taken the paperweights home, is quite funny to them though :D

he also stresses that they are very open-minded and kind guys, they have a priest and multiple muslim people in their friend group and respect every form of faith, but they are also huge critics of the institution behind the faith, that most of the time doesn’t even have anything to do with the faith anymore

some funny prejudices / hate comments about them?

it always makes him laugh when there are two comments directly following each other like (tw: slurs): a German bigot writing “Leftist faggots!”, followed by an American commenting “grandchildren of Hitler”

there were some funny insults over the time like all those that they turned into merch (”Lord of the super super super gay ninjas”, “symbol of a dying scene”, “cheap eco rock band, thrown together by the NDR”) -- for the last one, they turned the bit into charity, donating all royalties from their merch to a project for the reforestation of the rain forest, collecting “a solid five-digit amount”

the funniest hate rumour was probably when someone said that their participation at the ESC was a huge scam, started by Chris’s father who is actually a billionaire and who wanted to push his agenda to the ESC, so he started this project in 2009 years ago, so that it would seem like they were an authentic band when NDR sent them to the ESC 15 years later (”So much work, right? And all that for the last place!”)

really weird “tavern riddle” part about squirrels cuming on someone’s shoulder, lots of puns about bagpipes, and Chris sharing that, once in the studio, he “tried to play the hook line of “My heart will go on” on a bagpipe, but it sounded ... moderately good.”

Chris uses every opportunity to pay Saltatio Mortis a compliment, it’s very sweet, and at the end he shares a story of how his son started Kung Fu and Kendo because of the distinctive dance style of one of the band members of SaMo (Alea) and his “kindness and attentiveness” when Chris’s son went up to Alea and talked to him 

They close off the podcast with the “Disgrace of the day”, where they ask Chris to tell an embarrassing story of their band life. He tells two stories (next to a random anecdote that apparently one of the wheels of their nightliner’s trailer flew off the other day).

the first one is about a woman on tour in Russia, that grabbed him all of a sudden, just when he wanted to get into their shuttle, looked him deep in the eye and asked him ..... for a baby ... (no really, she specifically asked to not have sex for the sex’s sake but for a baby)

the second story also took place somewhere in eastern Europe: They always take a “Lord of the List” with them wherever they go, which is like a list of all the things they need to pack. Because they are stupid idiots from Hamburg, the last item on that list reads “Hookers and cocaine”. So somewhere in eastern Europe, they accidentally had this list lying around, when suddenly someone came up to them, cocaine in their hands, asking: “Here’s your cocaine. Now what about the hookers? How many do you want?” and asking if they had any preferences when it comes to hair colour and such. They went: “We don’t want any hookers!” -- “But it’s on the list.” -- “Yeah, but that’s a joke, it’s just our packing list.” -- “But we could organise it, no problem.” -- “Yeah, thank you, but ... we don’t think we want to.”

Chris ends that part by saying: “Hookers and cocaine is still on the list, but now we make sure that we don’t have it lying around somewhere.”