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scribeforchrist-blog · 8 months

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Embracing Change With God

MEMORY VERSE OF THE WEEK

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+ Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God

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VERSE OF THE DAY

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+ 1 Corinthians 15:51 Listen, I tell you a mystery: We will not all sleep, but we will all be changed—

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** SAY THIS BEFORE YOU READ; HERE’S SOME CHRISTIAN TRUTHS **

I AM WAITING ON GOD

GOD HEARS MY VOICE

I AM SPECIAL TO GOD

I AM VICTORIOUS

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THOUGHTS:

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We always talk about the process and how God takes us all through a process. It doesn't matter where you are in your life; we all are still in the process, and one of the things about being in the process is we must stick closer to God. We must know that he will guide us through if we allow him; the problem is while we are going through, we keep saying why we dont deserve it or what did do wrong, or we try to get out of the process.

The more we try to escape it, the harder it'll be because we won't accept what God has placed before us. The process might seem complicated, but during this process, we will grow ,we will change, and develop into stronger children of God; the more don't go through it, the more we will become stagnant. God will not push us through just because WE DON’T WANT TO BE THERE, he will hold us into that one place until we are where we need to be.

Genesis 29:31, the Lord was with him; he showed him kindness and granted him favor in the eyes of the prison warden.

Joseph was in the process , he went from being hated by his brothers, to being sold, to being accused , and then being in charge of the whole entire land of Egypt see he went through a process , he had to process the hate his brothers gave to him , he then had to process them hating him so much they sold , then he had to prcess all theses other intricate moment shappening and hold it together WITH GOD.

Jospeh could’ve been bitter and mean and cold but instead he looked past everything that could’ve happened , he didn’t allow the proces to prevent him from changing .God is working on some of you and some of you are to broken to let go ,to broken to say God help me ,but until you say God i’m broken but I want to go through the process with you,we can’t go thought it alone , we can’t do it in our strength it takes God to change us , it takes God to change the broken , it takes God to help you through your broken stage , through your angry stage ,through your hurt stage .

“Proverbs 18:51 The heart of the discerning acquires knowledge, for the ears of the wise seek it out.”

God is ready to set you free but you dont want to go through the process God is saying today , I can guide you through the process, you won’t be alone in the process keep your hand in my hand , I wont leave you or forsake you, I’m the ALPHA AND THE OMEGA, I won’t let you sink; I’ll help you swim ,he said the world is trying to break you, but im trying to carry you through he said don’t look back I have been here all along.

God is saying IT’S TIME TO HEAL, it’s HEALING SEASON ,the process is a lot; it's a lot to accept but what God is saying to you is that . If I helped David through his process, dont you think I’m going to help you through yours, he said the thing is, David listened through his process; he chased me through his process, seeked me through his process, he said David had to fight Goliath ,he didn't come to Goliath with sword and shield he came to him in my name, he said when your walking through the process he said walk-in my name he said it is not what you have on your feet, it isn’t about what you wear it about walking in my name and seeking me.

1 Samuel 17:35 I went after it, struck it and rescued the sheep from its mouth. When it turned on me, I seized it by its hair, struck it and killed it.

You see David had to go through the process he had to learn how to rescue sheep and other animals , before he could ever rescue the big things, and people that count, It’s a process , we can’t go swimming until we learn to swim , God is trying to teach us and show us through the process but we aren’t looking and watching while he do this , the process isn’t about just going through but it’s about learning what he’s trying to teach us , what is God trying to teach you .

*** Today the process is something we all must go through, no matter where we are in life we all are going through some type of change . It’s not about the change it’s how we process the moments in it and it’s about changing and learning what God is trying to show you, Some of us are going through the same process over and over because we are learning it , we aren’t see not hearing God. Whatever your going through ask God to show you what you need to learn , pray to God and ask him and wait in his presence and he will show you great and might things. ©Seer~ Prophetess Lee

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PRAYER

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Heavenly Father , we praise you for everything, father we don’t know what your doing in our life , and sometimes it doesn’t make sense but we ask you right now to change us , and continue to help us see the sunshine through the rain we ask you to help let us see what your saying and hear your voice . Lord guide us unto YOUR TRUTH. Show us what we need to know , your word says your our shepherd please help guide your sheep. Father right now we rebuke any unseen spirit that is attaching itself to our life and blocking our process, lord we want to renounce anything and anyone standing in our way in Jesus Name Amen

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REFERENCES

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+ Isaiah 43:18-19 Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.

+ Titus 3:5 He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy . He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit.

+ Hebrews 13:8 Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever.”

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FURTHER READINGS

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LEVITICUS 11

PROVERBS 15

EPHESIANS 6

JOHN 8

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#bible #bible quotes #christian quote #daily devotion #daily devotional #inspiration #bible verse #christian life #christan life #scripture #jesusitrustinyou #jesuslovesyou #jesus loves you #jesusismysavior

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dailyaudiobible · 1 year

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6/26/2023 DAB Transcript

2 Kings 9:14-10:31, Acts 17:1-34, Psalm 144:1-15, Proverbs 17:27-28

Today is the 26th day of June, welcome to the Daily Audio Bible. I am Brian and it is great to be here with you today, like every day as we gather again, yet again, day-by-day, step-by-step and take the next step forward. And our next step leads us back to where we left off, that happens to be the book of Second Kings right now. And so, let's pick up the story, Second Kings chapter 9 verse 14 through 10 verse 31 today.

Commentary:

Okay so, as we continue our journey through the Book of Acts, we’re back out on the road with Paul. So, we’re on the second missionary journey now, depicted in the Book of Acts. And we got a snapshot today of Paul in three different locations and this little snapshot gives us a view of the way that Paul adapts to who he's talking to. So, we have this picture of Paul in Thessalonica, he's in the synagogue, he's opening the Scriptures and revealing that Jesus is a part of the Hebrew story, a part of the Hebrew heritage. That the Jewish Messiah, and many came to faith and believed. Of course, opposition arrived, as it seems to have arrived everywhere that Paul goes, as the good news continues to spread throughout the world. And so, a mob forms and Paul and Silas have to sneak out at night and then they go to the next city and that's called Berea, and Paul goes to the synagogue again among the Jewish people. The Berean’s have a different reaction than those in Thessalonica. The Berean’s are listening diligently, they’re studying the Scriptures to sort of trace what Paul is laying out for them. They have a lot of questions, many come to faith. And then again, opposition arises once again to oppose what Paul is teaching. Once again, he's got a move onto the next city and in this case, he's taken to Athens to wait for Silas and Timothy, to catch up. In Athens he's dealing with people who have very, very open minds and very, very, very much want to explore spirituality, but are also very pagan. So, in this setting Paul's not trying to show a Hebrew person, how Jesus is the Jewish Messiah and how he fits into the Jewish story. And when he is given invitation to speak, he says, look I notice you're very religious, like everything is religious around here. I was walking along looking at all these shrines and I found an altar that said, to an unknown God. I'm here to tell you about the unknown God. So, we’ve been watching Paul now, we’ve seen him open the Scriptures with devout Hebrews, we've seen him talking one-on-one with a jailer, we've seen him in mob settings where there is great vigorous debate going on. We’ve watched him walk into a place where nobody has a clue what he is going to share and simply begin to reveal the unknown God. Paul wasn't running around trying to win theological arguments or to be right, or to bring condemnation and sin or the awareness of sin upon people. He seems to be able to look at the people that he's talking to and attempt to discern what they need and to try to bring truth into this situation. He seems to be more concerned about the people than the argument, very much like Jesus. And sometimes we get that mixed up. We all know that we are commissioned to share the good news of the Gospel. And sometimes that doesn't require us, spouting doctrine and being right. Sometimes that means offering a good heart and an open ear to hear a story, to meet a person where they are and to offer life in the situation. May we remember that offering the good news isn't about us, it's about bringing Jesus, and that can happen in spoken and in unspoken ways in just about everywhere we take a step, if we’re paying attention. We've seen Paul in all kinds of different contexts; let's learn from that.

Prayer:

And Holy Spirit, come. Most of the time, we are not paying attention to the fact that we are supposed to be not only representing You but revealing You in what we do and what we say and in what we think. And so often, when we are talking about You, it's to be right about something, as opposed to being hands and feet willing open vessels for Your use, living sacrifices. And so, forgive us for the times that we’ve missed it, because there have been many. Forgive us the times that we have simply ignored it because there've been many. Come, Holy Spirit, and let us realize that every breath is a gift from You and every step we take and every interaction that we have, is an opportunity to bring light into the darkness. Come, Holy Spirit, into this, make us aware of what we are doing and saying, we pray, in Jesus name. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com that is home base and that is where you can find out what is going on around here. Alternatively, you can download the Daily Audio Bible app free from the App Store that is connected to your device.

And there is something coming up around here, like a week from now, is the fourth, well, a week from tomorrow, fourth of July. That’s a national holiday. That's Independence Day here in the United States of America. But right on the heels of that we have kind of our own unique Daily Audio Bible holiday. Something that we have observed together as a community for 14 years, I believe. This is the 14th, well let me count, hold on a second. I’ll be right back. Okay, I’m back, it’s 16, 16 years, that we have been observing this little holiday that we call the Daily Audio Bible Long Walk. This is something that happens every seventh of July, it's a very unique and individual experience that becomes a really beautiful communal experience. So, those of you who have been around a while you kinda know the drill. Those of you who are like what, the Long Walk? What are we talking about here? The 7th of July is pretty close to sitting dead center in the year. And it is a really, really good time in the middle of the year, to take a day and reset for the second half of the year. We might often think of these things as luxuries that we can't or couldn't or can't afford or can't this or can't that, there's just all kinds of reasons. But often what we’re arguing against is the very thing that we need the most. Like, we will just keep charging ahead in our year, just bulldozing our way through the year getting more and more fatigued, more and more sleep deprived, more and more confused, anxiety will begin to bubble and grow and become a thing and depression, all of the things that may have legitimate, biological reasons, but truly the pace of our lives is a contributing factor to all of this. We won't slow down because we think we can't. July 7th, this little day for 16 years that we’ve been carving out. That's what we've been doing, carving it out, saying, this is mine. This day is a day for me and for my God. So, we encourage, take the day. If you don't have the day, take the day, make a square around it. Let nothing penetrate it. It is a special time, if…if…if you can jump in, it is a special time to say, okay, middle of the year, I jumped on, I’ve been moving my way through the Bible, middle of the year check-in. I’m gonna go for a long walk. And this kind of comes, I mean, remember when you fell in love with your spouse, or the one that you’re with? You fell in love and maybe you would go for long walks and maybe you would realize that time didn't exist during that time. Maybe even the rains came, and you walked and splashed in the puddles and everything, things that maybe we never do now. It was playful, it was childlike, it was love, time stood still. There was no rush to communicate data. It was unhurried conversation getting to know each other. That's what we're talking about here. Go somewhere beautiful, whether that's your backyard, whether that's a park that's a few blocks away, or whether you get in your car and drive couple hours to a place that is very meaningful to you. Take some lunch, take some water. Go for a long walk in the center of your year. A time for your mind to calm down. A time for you to reunite with your body and be aware of the fact that God has created a lush, unbelievable planet that is bursting forth with life all around us and were not paying attention because we’re locked into our work and our technology. So much builds up inside of us and we need to pray about it. But so often our prayers are flares right, there just like help, I’m going down over here. Help, SOS! What if you went for a walk that was unhurried and you had all day and you had carved out all your obligations. Like this is, this is your day, and you go for a long walk, and you get in touch with your body by paying attention to the birds of the air, the beasts of the field, the lilies of the field, the lushness of creation. And that begins to pull your heart into a place of adoration and worship as you begin to feel God's presence calming you, because he's telling you He loves you by giving you the day. And then we begin to speak. Right, and then we say everything that we need to say. Everything that we haven't had time to say. Everything that we fall asleep saying. Like, say it, pour it out to the lover of your soul. And then, spend time listening and walking in silence, enjoying all that creation speaks about our Lord. This is the Long Walk; this is something I look forward to every year. So many thousands of us look forward to this every year. And it's obviously, I just described a very individual, very unique and personal experience between you and God. What makes this a community experience is that as we're doing this individually, we know that our brothers and sisters all over the world are doing this as well. That we are all drinking in the serenity, the rejuvenation, the healing of slowing down for a second and catching our breath and being in the presence of God. So, what makes it a communal experience is knowing that were doing it but also, we put a post on our Daily Audio Bible Facebook page, which is Facebook.com/dailyaudiobible. We put a post on there on 7th of July and invite everybody to take a picture of where you are, or little video of what it was like during your day. And we post these all back into this post and all of the sudden we are scrolling through the beauty of God's creation all over the world on this very day, the 7th of July. We all get to kind of regroup together and see windows into each other's lives, windows into each other's geography and are knit together, knowing that we have gone out and regrouped for the second half of the year. So, that is the 7th of July. That is a week from this Friday, make plans. I mean, think about it, we may talk to God every day, it may be fleeting, may not be enough, we may feel guilty about it, but think about the Lord, your creator looking forward to you taking some time to be with Him. And He is looking forward to this, greatly. That is the posture that we go into this with. So, that's coming up, the 7th of July.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible. First of all, humble gratitude. Thank you for your partnership, especially as we move through the summertime. There is a link on the homepage at dailyaudiobible.com. If you're using the app, you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or the mailing address is P.O. Box 1996 Springhill, Tennessee 37174.

And as always, if you have a prayer request or encouragement, you can hit the Hotline button in the app, that's the little red button up at the top or you can dial 877-942-4253.

And that's it for today, I'm Brian, I love you and I'll be waiting for you here, tomorrow.

Prayer and Encouragements:

Hello DAB Family, this is Dancing Flame in North Carolina. I’m a relatively new listener. And I had a prayer request. I have an uncle. He is my, one of my favorite people in the whole wide world. And he is nearing the end of his life. He’s in palliative care now. And his days are short. And I wanted to ask you guys to pray that he would find the Lord and be saved and be with us all in heaven. He’s a wonderful man, incredibly generous, incredibly funny, was very successful in business, very gifted. But he does not know the Lord. And it breaks my heart. We only see each other every few years. The amount of time we’ve spent together is disproportionate to the deep love that I have for him in my heart. But I just ask that you would join me to kind of storm the gates of heaven and just ask for God to, in His unending mercy, to save him. To reveal Himself to him, to show him who He is and to show him his great need for a loving Savior. I just ask that the Holy Spirit would just infiltrate him. Father, even if he’s not necessarily willing that God in His mercy, would just rain down on him in these last moments, that he could be saved. I know that, you know, the thief on the cross, all he had to do was say that he believed, and he joined Jesus in paradise that day. And so, that is my prayer for my Uncle Chris. And I just ask that you would join me that you would just join me in believing for his salvation and for asking God for incredible grace and mercy to reveal Himself to him in a mighty way. Thanks DAB Family. Love you all. Always praying for you.

Hey DAB Family. This is Beloved in Texas and I’m sure some of you, at least, those in the U.S., heard about a devastating tornado that went through the Amarillo Panhandle not to long ago. A lady at work, her sister was killed in that tornado. And she’s asked for prayer. Her nephews found their mother and the only way she was able to be identified, were her clothes and her nail polish. And they’re showing signs of PTSD. They were raised in church but they’re kind of far from the Lord now. So, I would just like to ask you to come alongside me and pray for Chad and Cory. Father, we just lift up Chad and Cory right now, in Jesus name. And I just ask that You would replace those images in their head with loving images of their mother: her love, her smile, her hugs. And I pray that You would fill them with your peace Father. I thank You that even though they don’t understand what happened and why, they can lean not on their own understanding but on Yours. Lord, I pray that You would turn this situation to the good and that You would bring them right back into Your loving arms. In ….

Hello DAB community, it’s Morning Lift. Just reaching out to ask for you guys to pray for me. I’m going through a difficult time with my marriage. I’ve been separated now for too long. And it’s seems that my wife is continuing to take steps towards separation rather than reconciliation and it’s really just discouraging and I need help. And I’m praying that God would give me hope. And I’m asking that God would fill me with His joy because I know that He’s the only thing that can satisfy in this world: not relationship, not reconciliation with my wife, nothing really can satisfy me, or anyone for that matter, but the love of the Father. And I just pray for that satisfaction, that joy that comes from Him. I pray that I would seek Him and that I would make decisions for the right reasons, not out of fear, or not out of any manipulation or desire to get what I want. And I just ask for you guys to hold me accountable in prayer, lift me up in prayer. And I also lift you up in prayer. And I ask that God would just bless you and take care of all your needs. In Jesus name I pray.

Hi, this is Betty from Hamburg. I’m calling in again tonight to thank you DABers for helping me in the past. And to ask you to please, please pray for my son Nathan. His mental illness is getting the best of us all, right now, especially him. He’s not managing it well. He’s tried to manage it on his own and it gets worsened when he drinks. And he has been drinking. So, I just pray that you would give us clarity to know what to do, how to help him and how to protect ourselves, as he’s living here in the house. And just to, I don’t know, I’m kind of at a loss right now. So, just thank you for hearing my prayer. And thank you that I can come to this community. Thank you, friends.

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dailyaudiobiblechronological · 1 year

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3/25/2023 DAB Chronological Transcription

Joshua 9-11

Welcome to the Daily Audio Bible Chronological, I'm China. Today is the 25th day of March. Welcome. It is so great to be here with you today. So excited to get to finish off this week, this weekend with you. We are continuing in the book of Joshua with chapters nine through eleven, finishing off with a New English translation for this week.

Commentary:

So again we read Joshua being this fulfillment of what the Lord spoke through Moses and where he's giving them this land and there to drive out everyone before it. And the Lord's going to be with them. And going all the way back to the beginning of what we read today is so interesting to me where scripture reveals that. So we read this, but just a little recap. The Gibeonites deceive Israel, so they make this treaty, but they failed to ask the Lord. The men examined some of their provisions, but they failed to ask the Lord's advice. I wonder how I'm like, okay, so if someone like Joshua can struggle with this, then we for sure can struggle with this. But goodness, how many of us can relate to that struggle of, oh man, I didn't ask the Lord, I failed to ask the Lord's advice, what he thought about this. And we are kind of in this situation where it's like, oh man, I wonder if this would have happened this way if I would have consulted the Lord. And maybe not because he probably would have told me. But I'm not going to beat myself up. I'm just going to repent here and then make sure that I consult the Lord in everything that I do from now on. And so I think this is a great reminder that the Lord wants to be invited into the things that we do and our decisions, the big ones and the little ones, and this one feels like a big one. And I know that he also would want to be invited into those little ones as well. So I just think that's a great reminder for today is to consult the Lord in all that we do- all that we do.

Prayer:

And so Father, I thank you for your word that reminds us this, that shows us, not only reminds us, but shows us what happens when we don't. And God, I pray that we would be a people who just care about your opinion and what you have to say and what your advice is. And so I pray that we would have that wisdom and discernment and that you would continually speak to us and that we would hear you. I thank you for your word and we pray. Amen.

Announcements:

So this is where I leave you for this week. Next week, as you know, as you've fallen into this rhythm before. Starting tomorrow, my mom will be reading with you and then I will be back here the week after that and we will start Holy Week. And I am thrilled. It's like my favorite for so many reasons and also not my favorite. It's just a culmination of emotions and we'll talk about it. We got some time, but I love you. This is all for today. I'll be waiting for you here next week.

Community Prayer Line:

Hi DABC family. This is His Life from Tennessee. I was just listening to Chastity from Kansas about losing your job and missing time at work and you're getting sick. And praise God that your son is much better, but that's why you lost your job, so much time taken off. I'm praying for you that the Lord is going to give you a better job than what you've had. I know a lot of times when we lose a job and we have bills piling up or we've got that feeling, oh my goodness, I've got to get something soon. I've got to get something here that's going to pay the bills. I am praying that the reason that you're not getting anywhere is because the right job is not there just yet. I pray that the job that you get is going to be a job that you're going to love going into every day, that you're going to love learning that it's going to be a job where people are not just looking at you going you need a couple of days off because you're sick or your son is sick. They're going to look at it and go, you know what? You just do what you need to do, take care of your family. And I hope and pray everything's fine, come on back. Because that's the kind of job that the Lord gave me. I am praying that for you and Father God, you know from the beginning, from the end, father God, you know what Chastity means. You know the type of situation that she's in, the bills that she has to pay. But you are her father, you are her provider, you are there with her. Father God, please show her, guide her, direct her straightforward to the one job that you have open for her, Father. God bless you.

Good morning, Daily Audio Bible community. This is Diane Olive and Jeff Brown, and I'm reading March 9, 2023 with China. This is her week. I'm in the chronological and I've been catching up and asking the Lord, why am I still giving in to some of these things that I had self control over? And he brought me to the reading today for March 9 that the children of Israel didn't cast out all of the people that brought them temptation. And he said, you've allowed some things to linger in your thought life. And so I had to repent of that. So I praised the Lord that he showed me why I was not overcoming like I had been before. I thought that might help you. And please pray for me. And I'm praying for all of you all. And I know that you're struggling with temptation. And maybe that's the reason that I'm struggling, is I'm allowing those things I haven't completely repented completely so that I've dealt with it and it no longer is a part of my life. So praise the Lord. Continue to pray for me, and I'll continue to pray for you. And I really believe that I will get the victory.

Hey, family, it's Pam, His Ransom Soul in New Jersey, calling in to pray for some dear sisters, good and gracious God, I come before you today and I ask in the mighty name of Jesus for complete healing of the various severe eye disorders that Felicia in Florida has been diagnosed with. Lord, you are a way maker, miracle worker, promise keeper, and a light in the darkness. So I am asking on Felicia's behalf that you would make a way for her husband's job to become permanent so he can get the health insurance necessary to cover the eye treatments for Felicia, or that you would just perform a miracle and heal Felicia's eyes supernaturally. Lord, please be her light in this darkness right now, and please give Felicia and her husband hope and peace as they wait for and trust in your faithful promises. And as you work in these situations that look so impossible to us. I also want to lift up our dear, sweet China Brown. And thank you, Lord, for this precious new life that is growing within her. I ask for relief for China from the morning sickness she's experiencing. And Lord, I'm asking for a healthy pregnancy and uneventful labor and delivery and a healthy, happy child for China and Ben this coming fall. And, Lord, for the young woman who called in on her 34th birthday and has been unable to have children. She's been trying now for six years. Lord, in your great mercy and compassion, would you please open up her womb and breathe new life into it, making it possible for her to bear the children she so deeply desires to have. Lord God, your will be done in each situation here in the precious and powerful name of your son Jesus. Amen.

Good morning, family. It's Inge from Denmark. Today I'm calling in to congratulate Ben and China and the rest of the tribe on this new little nugget, this little brownie that's baking away in the oven that's going to be arriving this fall. Massive heartfelt congratulations. I'm so glad that God granted you your wish that you're going to become parents of two and Reagan is going to be a big sister. I don't know how you feel in China, but I could imagine that maybe it's a little bit difficult to just focus on the positive because you had a rough ride when you had to deliver Reagan and then the postpartum afterwards. They just want to pray God's protection over you. So, God, I just want to thank you for this daughter of yours, this woman of God. Thank you for China. Thank you for everything that she is in your ministry. She is somebody special to so many of us around the globe. Thank you for using her. And thank you for her saying yes. I want to thank you that you're blessing her and then with another child, we can never take that for granted. So I'm just thankful on their behalf that you are granting them another life. I pray that you will protect the baby throughout these months of pregnancy and that you will put your angels around China in a special way. Protect her from anxiety and worry. Just let her be consumed with your peace. Bring her safely through the birth and the afterbirth and the pregnancy. Amen.

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orarenelcenaculo · 2 years

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EVANGELIO DE HOY Jueves 16 de Febrero de 2023 EN EL CENACULO | www.youtu... TODAY'S GOSPEL in the CENACLE.

TODAY'S GOSPEL Thursday February 16, 2023 IN THE CENACLE.

Commentary of all the readings and gospel separately and in common by the different branches of the order of Preachers, Dominicans.

Learn Spanish with the Word of God (for Spanish learners) or understand the Word of God in Spanish.

Friends, Today, in the gospel Jesus asks: Who do you say that I am?

Listening to this gospel we might ask ourselves if this question is not also a provocation for us.

For Peter the answer seemed easy, but he was reproached by Jesus, his affirmation of being the Messiah was an intellectual answer, but not a vital one.

Won't the same happen to us? When we are asked about Jesus, we easily respond with big and eloquent titles and words, but afterwards those affirmations have no repercussions in our lives. For us, for me too, it is not something intellectual, but vital. We know that in the end, and now, non-believers will not ask us if we know a lot or a little about Jesus, but if he has had an impact on our lives or not. Our answer will be whether or not he is giving meaning to our lives. Whether or not he is having an impact on our daily performance. If he makes us happier and if we feel more liberated from the situations we go through and that they want to tell us something.

In the CHANNEL https://www.youtube.com/@orarenelcenaculo at the end of each Video the links of the previous videos are offered in order of publication or the most viewed (TOP) of:

TOP The Five Minutes of the Holy Spirit in the Cenacle. https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPkNVhYwczs-qc19Q2rjeCU4BQwppa0y7

TOP Chaplet of Mercy in the Cenacle. https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPkNVhYwczs8X0GJLflxQ74q1Cjyf3LK3

TOP Prayer to the Holy Spirit every day in the Cenacle. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPkNVhYwczs_SvY5fXXnfTh68lp5GAOKp

TOP Saints of Today's Liturgy in the Cenacle. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPkNVhYwczs9BbHLtMT0mHYJk03k4oLL-

On the CHANNEL https://www.youtube.com/@orarenelcenaculo there is the possibility of requesting a playlist titled:

The "RANDOM GOSPEL" that the Holy Spirit suggests to me now, to guide that problem that worries me, and that can guide me to act in the discernment of approaching it. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPkNVhYwczs9YKhj_eAq6oyRaearAulEN

What PRAYERS does the HOLY SPIRIT blow me today for my daily situation? https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPkNVhYwczs_zJJAtu1ibUGRVHOG9ENeY

What is the HOLY SPIRIT SAYING TO ME NOW in this situation and at this moment? https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPkNVhYwczs_fN6l_CMPMFoaOfSDelKbG

Today's Gospel in the Cenacle. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPkNVhYwczs9vYVFf0Q22SwZw1ZbSWYIV

Prayer to the Holy Spirit every day in the Cenacle. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPkNVhYwczs-IOQNAMto_nIif4g6DeClf

Saints of the Liturgy of the day in the Cenacle. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPkNVhYwczs9I5FYVifdf7wj_i9I7mGZw

The Peace of the Lord.

#readingsoftheday #gospeloftoday #gospeloftheday #readingsofthemass #christians #catholic #religion #learnspanishwithJesus #understandthewordofgod

#lecturasdeldía #evangeliodehoy #evangeliodeldía #evangelioenelcenaculo #evangeliodehoycenaculo #lecturasdelamisa #cristianos #católico #religión #entenderlapalabradedios #aprenderespañolconJesus

#youtube

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god-whispers · 2 years

Text

dec 19

veils and veiling

"but even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing, whose minds the god of this age has blinded, who do not believe, lest the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine on them." 2 cor 4:3-4

when our Lord Jesus gave up His final breath, the thick heavy veil leading into the Holy of Holies was split. what before had only been accessible to the designated high priest was now available to all who would seek to enter. so what is it that still keeps a lot of us out?

the Presence is no longer veiled by God - it is satan now veiling one's eyes from beholding the the truth and beauty of the One true God. this is his last ditch attempt to prevent people from knowing that truth and coming into the light. that's where believers come in.

"the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds." 2 cor 10:4 we must intercede in their behalf by battling down that veil; by pulling down strongholds of pride, prejudice, presumption, procrastination, or any other stronghold in which we discern they may be held, thus freeing them to choose Christ.

but what do we do when others choose to remain veiled. i think the recent and current situation of the world is indicative of what is happening in the spiritual realm. people everywhere are "masking" themselves. perhaps it is symbolic of an attempt to hide themselves and the sin they indulge in. there is nothing hidden that will not be revealed. "all things are naked and open to the eyes of Him to whom we must give account." heb 4:13 it is only prayer and the blood of Jesus that chances to rip that veil from their hearts.

believers must walk in the light they have and hope that light penetrates the darkness they perceive in others. we must put on the Lord Jesus Christ and dress in the armor He has provided: "having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God." eph 6:14-17

"we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places." eph 6:12 people are often like horses wearing blinders. it is those blinders which keep them from seeing a broader perspective. on horses, it can be a good thing to keep them focused only on the road ahead. on people, it can keep them from receiving and understanding the truth of the gospel. it can even prevent them from considering other possibilities.

the true God doesn't mind if someone questions truth. "try Me now in this,” says the Lord of hosts, “if I will not open for you the windows of heaven and pour out for you such blessing that there will not be room enough to receive it." mal 3:10 i challenge all doubters that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, go to the nothing or to whatever god you believe in and ask that "the truth" be revealed to you. i believe Truth itself will speak if you will but listen.

christians don't wear blinders as they are often accused of. having come out of darkness they can see all sides and now know the road that lies before them. they recognize the truth and are like runners in a race. there is no time to look to the right or to the left, only to rush to the finish line. "but none of these things move me; nor do i count my life dear to myself, so that i may finish my race with joy, and the ministry which i received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God." acts 20:24

be a testifier and finish your race with joy unspeakable! even so, come quickly Lord Jesus.

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cozycottagetarot · 3 years

Text

Pick A Pile: How Can You Take Better Care of Yourself?

I did this reading a bit different from my others. It’s mainly based on impressions as I’m only using the images and any text on the cards at face value along with whatever else comes to me. So feedback would be appreciated. Another thing is the piles all have intertwining messages so if you feel drawn to two piles, then by all means I encourage you to check them both out.

Paid Readings (I’ll be updating them again)

Disclaimer: All readings and tarot/blog games are for fun and entertainment purposes only. It is in no way meant to act as or replace professional advice of any kind. You know yourself and what’s going on in your life best so I asks that you trust yourself above all else. Finally please take only what resonates from the reading which may be some of it, all of it, or none at all.

PILE 1

Tarot Cards: 7 of Cups, 8 of Wands, The Sun

Pile 1, the way you can take better care of yourself is by making a decision. With the 7 of Cups I see that you have all these opportunities being presented in front of you but you have no idea which one to go with. I get the impression from the cards that from postponing making a decision or choice, you’re starting to feel the brightness in other areas of your life dim. With the 8 of Wands and The Sun following however, I feel like once you make a decision, results and positive things will happen quickly, bringing you happiness. The Sun has a faint face depicted in it, so I feel like you don’t have to worry too much about unintended consequences. I see this as a sign you are being protected from unintended or unpleasant consequences as a result of your decision. Also, connecting with your inner child may be a way to help you make this decision.

The next cards that came out are: Protection (Call back your power. Cut the cords. Soul retrieval.) Soul Family (Call in your tribe. You don’t have to do it alone.) Anna, Grandmother of Jesus (Seeding the light, laying foundations. Divine plan.) The Ever-Unfolding Rose (Cracked open. It’s happening for you, not to you.)

With these cards I think some of you could be going through a 'dark night of the soul' (read: a very difficult time in your life). You may be feeling like somewhere along the line you’ve lost yourself or your direction as to where you’re heading next in life or what it is you truly desire (any Lucifer fans here because I hear Tom Ellis’s voice in my head haha). You may be asking yourself questions such as 'Why is this the way life is happening? Why me? Who am I even?' But even though it might seem unfair or lacking sense right now, keep in mind that whatever is going on is helping you in some format. Situations within reason of course, using your discernment here is best. It’s truly all about how you tell your story. Another thing is you don’t have to make these decisions on your own. Turn to your family and your friends for help/advice. If necessary, maybe you can seek professional help. If either or those things isn't really an option, you could always try taking some time to nurture yourself and journey inside to help you remember or figure out what’s important to you. When you make that effort to find/listen to yourself outside of the noise of everything else, I think that’s when you’ll find the information necessary to help make your decision.

Remaining Cards: The Hourglass Dolphin (46) — your achievement is only a matter of time. The Three Rhine Maidens (15) — love is a virtue that endure eternally.

The Hourglass Dolphin is all about finding balance between two aspects of your life, typically work and play. Dividing your time and remembering to put EXTRA care into taking care of your basic needs is another thing that’s going to help you find success. I feel like you are in a transitory phase and it really is only a matter of time before whatever darkness that may be clouding your life right now disappears.

The Three Rhine Mermaids talks about a phase in your life coming full circle, and once that happens your hearts desires are going to start materialising in your physical/the 3D.

The North Witch (23) — This card just kind of confirms or reiterates that with patience this dark phase is going to fade.

The Toad Witch (7) —This card talks about gaining wisdom from adversity. Also a secret admirer as well. There were messages of love laced through out the cards but they weren’t clear until now. Similarly, I think this will reflect in your life that after you’ve found stability once things have cleared up, you will find love as well.. or better yet, love will find you. Do keep in mind it might not be super quick… maybe Spring or Summer (depending on when you're reading this).

Self Care Activities Ideas (Homemade deck): Look good; feel good (put effort into looking the way you want), Believe In Yourself, Have a fruit (incorporate more fruits into your diet).

PILE 2

Hello Pile 2. The way for you to take better care of yourself right now is through doing what makes you happy.

Tarot Cards: Ace of Swords, The Sun, The Devil

I actually pulled the Ace of Swords last. Also before I started focusing on your pile while shuffling, the Four of Swords reversed came out.

Thinking of these two cards together, I think you need to pull back and ask yourself if what you’re doing is really the best thing for you. I feel like you guys could be in a really good place right now— at least at face value. The cards have darker backgrounds, except The Sun. I feel like whatever you are doing isn’t really sparking joy inside. Maybe it’s familial or peer pressure related? The life path you’re on right now seems ideal and fulfilling to everyone else, but somehow I feel like deep down inside it doesn’t feel that way. You may feel chained or held back as shown by The Devil. Looking at The Sun and The Devil, they came out together side by side. I feel like this is more family related meaning parents, parental figures or mentors. They may be trying to look out for you by telling you to study a certain topic or take a certain job because it’s safe, when what you truly want to do may be a little bit more risky. So even though you’re playing it safe right now and have things to celebrate, you may not be able to shake the that unsatisfied feeling inside.

The next cards that came out are: Warrior Woman (Have you answered your deepest calling?) Play (Have fun. Celebrate. Don’t be so serious.) Break The Chain (Ancestral patterns. Healing. Rewriting the future.) Transformation (Things are changing at a cellular level. Deep healing.)

All the figures in these cards look like they’re in their power. It makes me think you may be ignoring or avoiding stepping into the energy of your higher self. I kind of had the though fear of backlash pop into my head, and while it is a valid fear, I don’t feel like it’s something you have to worry about a lot. I feel like you need to schedule more time for yourself in general as well. You can’t ‘fight’ for other people all the time, you also have to ‘fight’ for you.

I’m just noticing something about the placement of the cards. Warrior Woman has a sword and is placed right next the the Ace of Swords. Break The Chain is right next to The Devil, and the sun is shining in Transformation and Play, in the same position as the one in The Sun… As I was saying, I feel like you need to just take a moment to connect with yourself. Ask yourself what is it you truly want and begin rewriting your future*.

*This is the part where I let it be known I need people to practice life coaching with so if you’re interested you can message me. 18 years and up only though.

Remaining Cards: The Siren (14) — In the treasure of a day, light is thrown on what could be tomorrow. The Stripped Dolphin (30) Good news, flowing through the ether waves will answer your prayers.

The Siren Is mostly about observation and not forcing connections. The Stripped Dolphin is about good things happening for you, especially by surprise. It’s also about new beginnings in any area of your life. However there’s also a message about not getting caught up in many opportunities, so if you were drawn to pile 1 as well, I see this as a sign to check out the pile as well.

The Silver Moon Witch (2) has a message of being able to see progress by the next full or new moon. However this card advises you to choose carefully when it’s the right time to go with the flow versus ‘swimming’ against the tide. Relating to above, journey inside yourself to figure out if you are taking the right course if action by choosing to stick with the path you’re on versus yelling plot twist and doing something different.

The Full Moon Witch (18) has two sides to it. On one hand you can expect ‘heartfelt’ plans coming to fruition, but on the other hand emotions may be running high and words that aren’t meant may be said. This another one of the moon phases cards, so you may find during the full moon you may have disagreements with your loved ones but once it starts to wane, disagreements may also reach a resolution. I think this relates to the The Silver Moon Witch card as well, so maybe before or during a full moon may not be the best time to bring up anything that may cause a disagreement?

Self Care Activities Ideas (Homemade deck): Journal, Get Creative, Listen To Music (there may be messages in songs for you)

PILE 3

Pile 3, you guys have been giving me hell from the moment I sat down to pull cards for your reading. From focusing and interpreting to editing. Everything was a mess and I’m assuming you a significant part of your life maybe as well? Or your headspace at least.

Aside from my struggles with your reading, based on the cards, I see you need to focus on yourself.

Tarot Cards: The Chariot, The High Priestess, Queen of Wands reversed.

Starting with your Tarot in no particular order, you have The Chariot, The High Priestess and Queen of Wands reversed. The Queen of Wands is my ideal (you) card. When it’s reversed, I see it as a sign [you] are not embodying the energy of your highest self and/or something in your life is out of balance. Both The Chariot and The High Priestess have black and white polarities, so I see it more as you needing to put yourself back into balance. Something may feel hidden from you, though you’re not really sure what and you want to push forward but it’s just not really happening? On the bottom of the deck is the 9 of Swords which notes to fear, depression, anxiety, etc and is needing to release those emotions. Obviously it can be more complex than it sounds, but I’m hoping you get the idea. Brain-dump came to me. Maybe you need to do a brain-dump and survey/assess your ‘kingdom’ so you can flip that Queen of Wands energy around and allow your chariot to race onward. The next cards that came out are:

The Crumbling (What are you clinging on to?) —> Do you need to release anything? Material items, a goal, a belief, way of life, or maybe just the act of trying to have it all together?

Boundaries (Where do you need to establish better boundaries?) —> Do you need better boundaries with yourself? Habits? People? Enviroment? School/Career?

Share Your Voice (Come out of the cave. Persecution. Expression.) It’s time to step into the limelight, because the world is your stage. Maybe you’ve been hanging back and suppressing who you truly are, but now it’s time to step forward into a new role… a you role. You don’t have to go from stand in actor to lead role over night, but do brainstorm and take baby steps daily to get there.

Keepers Of The Earth (You are not alone. Ancient ancestors stand beside you.) Take the meaning as you will, but I see it as a message to look for support in unexpected places. Maybe it’s an online community of people who can relate to you. Maybe it’s a book, article or video. Who knows, it could even be a friend or family member you didn’t think could relate or help you out. Remaining Cards: The Kraken (38) — Your success and happiness lie within you. The Great Sea Monster (37) — To accomplish you dream plan and believe.

The main theme of The Kraken is release. Good fortune/luck will come to you by delving into your subconscious mind to free the conscious. Returning to nature and the things that bring you inner joy. Good fortune coming in small waves which eventually grow into big ones.

The Great Sea Monster is about taking action and again, freeing your conscious mind by looking into your unconscious mind. Also there is more than one way to solve a dilemma, you just have to search the right way. The Immortal Witch (4) — new beginnings are happening for you, and your desires are on their way to you although it might not appear so currently. (Kind of like planting a seed. It’s growing though we can’t see it until it burst through the soil). The Fairy Ring Witch (9) — mental and physical communication. Connecting with or making friends with similar skills or talents. Self Care Activities Ideas (Homemade deck): Tend to yourself, Slow and steady, Get creative, Read a book (maybe a self help book relevant to what you're going through).

#pick a card #pick a pile #pick a card reading #pick a picture #tarot reading #pick a pile reading #pac #pac reading #ariesmoontarot

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chil2de · 3 years

Note

Hii! It's me again, the "teasing mom's broyfriend" anon. I just- you about killed me with that sequel. Hot doesn't even begin to describe it, really 🥵🥵

I have more :))

------------------------

Megumi knows. He knows what a slut you are, knows you've been fucking his father behind his and your mom's back. He knows you only got with him to provoque his father. He knows all of that. And yet, he can't let go of you. He won't do his father this favour.

He avoids going to your mom's house with you as best he can, bc he just can't stand the two of you doing this to her, the poor woman doesn't deserve it. He never touches you when you come back from your mom's, bc he just knows you've been with him. There is, however, an exception. The only thing that can make him help you tease his dad is when they fight.

When it happens, Megumi goes visit your mom with you, and whenever she can't see it, he makes it a point to touch you a little more than would be appropriate in front of Toji. The mix of Megumi's hands all over you and Toji's warning glare could probably make you cum right then and there. Once, when your mom was out doing grocery shopping and Toji stayed behind with the two of you, Megs was all to eager to fuck you, make you scream his name, all for Toji's benefit.

Oh, you do so love it when they fight. You know you should hope for peace and harmony between father and son, but you have much more fun when they are at each other's throat.

You wonder what you would have to do to have both of them filling you up at the same time...

ugh okay sorry if this post is just a massive wall of text i had to cut down on spacing because i kept reaching tumblr’s limit on characters, and uh... incase you couldn’t tell, shit’s about to get serious if i wrote this much LOL this probably looks so clunkyyy :(( i apologise but i have like a line left or two? so i’ll compress everything by saying a massive thank you because this would not have been possible without your sexy ass intellect. i was seriouly fucking dying writing this, it might be the first or second piece i’m genuinely proud of and i thank you :) i hope you enjoy it as much as i did writing it

this piece makes sense as a standalone, but works a lot better if you read the previous piece! read my disclaimer here if you’re new <3

w.c: 2.8k / characters: 15k (incl spaces) and a special thank you to my beloved anonie. couldn’t have done it without you ❤️

day and night: two.

your bedroom door shuts with a quiet ring. you can only slump down against it, knees held into your chest. your thighs are still quivering like a poor little lamb.

as you move to type out a text for megumi to not come over, there’s a faint knock at the window. your heart burns, throat clogged and knees weak.

you don’t know if you can get up. hell, you don’t know if you should get up. there’s another few delicate rips against the glass and you manage to stumble over in fear of attracting toji’s attention.

“megumi?!” you mouth his name in alarm, dismay crawling onto your features.

your boyfriend gives you a dead once over, noting your matted hair, smeared mascara and weak posture.

of course he knows.

you can discern it clearly from the way he refuses to meet your gaze.

“can you just let me in?” he whispers, tone flat as his index motions over to the lock of the window.

you don’t know what to do.

after all, you’ve still got toji’s cum flowing inside you from earlier.

you fumble backwards, moving to allow his lanky figure to slip inside. megumi manages to hoist his leg up and over, squeezing inside with ease. he closes the window shut behind him, pulling the curtains.

“m-megumi? what are you doing he-“

he doesn’t have time to waste.

megumi knocks the wind out of your lungs as his cold hands seize the sides of your head, stealing your lips for a kiss. he tugs at your bottom lip, tongue drinking you in for a couple of moments like you’re the last meal he’ll ever eat.

“shit.” he hisses, pulling his face back and screwing his eyebrows in mutiny.

oh, but if you didn’t love the way he looked at you like you were pure filth.

“you taste like him. it’s disgusting.” he spits, wiping his delicate lips with the back of his hand.

he knew, but there was always a part of him that wished you wouldn’t submit yourself to the likes of toji. he just had to see it for himself.

“come on, megumi-chan~ thats no way to talk to your girlfriend, is it?

your mother doesn’t deserve this. megumi doesn’t deserve the heartache, either.

megumi can’t see anything but the spitting image of his father all over your body, licking and fondling all the same crevices that he has. but he can’t get enough of you. he can’t stop, can’t turn away from you. he knows that at the end of the day you're spoon-feeding him phrases he wants to hear.

but you’re so good to him.

your pussy fits him like a glove. your hand intertwines with his perfectly. your head is the perfect size to cuddle onto his chest.

there’s something about you that makes you more addicting than nicotine.

bony and slender fingertips ghost over your thighs. you can’t help the squeak that hiccups from you. megumi raises an eyebrow in scepticism before flipping the hem of your miniskirt up.

he scoffs, slicking his long middle finger against your hot cunt.

“don’t hold it in.” he reprimands you, flashing a grimace as you squabble with him.

“b-but toji-“

“but what? am i not good enough for you?”

you swallow thickly, chanting a small prayer before allowing toji’s cum to drip out of your pussy. you shiver, goosebumps licking your skin when you can feel the warmth of his seed ooze and coat your soft thighs. you can’t avoid the burn of megumi’s regard as he watches the cum slowly flow out of you.

he’ll make you want him.

megumi can’t fully comprehend why you keep running back to his father instead of him, why you choose toji over him. like father like son, it evokes a bubble of magma in the form of competition and jealousy.

he’ll make you beg for him. that’s for sure.

“get on the bed.” he whispers, tone cold and even. there’s no warmth to his voice, even with his usual monotonous tendencies you can tell you struck a nerve. it makes your stomach churn, butterflies swooping in and adorning your vital organs.

like a moth drawn to a flame, as though you have no mind of your own, you step backwards until the back of your knees kiss the metal frame of your bed. megumi towers over you, pushing you backwards as he crawls in between your thighs.

the crisp ring of his zipper sliding down clashes against the room. why should he undress himself properly for the likes of someone like you?

“there’s no point in prepping you. i think you know that.” megumi sighs, relieving his twitching cock from the confines of his painfully tight boxers.

you can feel the avarice swirl in your abdomen, cold fear stilling in your veins at the mere thought that you could get caught by toji at any second. it makes your fingertips tingle and stomach churn. when you wail a needy whimper, megumi only shakes his head before plastering his icy cool hand against your wet lips.

a part of megumi wants to let all hell break loose. if he allows you to moan as you please, it won’t be just toji hearing your cries of ecstasy. knowing your mother, perhaps she’d be a little glad to know that your boyfriend is meeting your needs sufficiently. whereas toji?

it puts him in a predicament. from a bystanders point of view, toji has no right to storm in here and to shriek at megumi for blowing your brains out.

why?

because he’s not your dad.

he’s not a paternal figure in your life. there’s no right for him to say what you can and cannot do. he won’t hold that kind of reign over you like your mother does. and megumi likes that. he relishes the idea of toji being forced to listen to you babble megumi’s name, to mewl and cry for him to hit it deeper whilst he can’t do anything but complain.

it’s not like you haven’t heard your mother with other men plenty of times. it’s only natural, right? hell, she’ll probably gossip with you about it.

a carnal desire glosses over megumi’s steel blue gaze. like a wolf waiting to pounce onto a hare. he can see the way your thighs squeeze, how you gulp before him with those doe eyes of yours. you’re practically purring underneath him. for once, megumi gathers the reasoning to understand why his father finds you so intriguing. there’s nothing better than having your own toy melt and oblige under every command.

your boyfriend’s hand finds its way to your chest, where he rests the palm flat underneath your breasts. he steadies himself, using you as leverage as he guides his dick through the cum stained mess of your cunt. your heart pounds in anticipation, drool coating the back of your tongue as your pussy throbs around him. he manages to fit his tip in, dragging the enlarged and sensitive muscle against your walls. your ankles flutter around megumi’s waist, lower body strength trembling as you attempt to pull him in further.

“m-megs- please..”

“what?” he screws his eyebrows, staring you down. you can’t find the words in you to plead for him.

“what the hell? why act all coy now?“

“that’s not how we do things around here, is it? so spit it out. i won’t get what you’re trying to say otherwise.”

megumi slips his dick out, grinding against your clit as his torso flushes against yours. he pulls you in for a quick kiss, enough to relinquish his appetite, but not enough to taste the filth that corrupts your sweet and innocent lips.

“those cute little whines of yours won’t help you, either.” his breath flickers against your skin, sticky tongue licking trails as he works to mark up your neck. you can feel the tears prick your eyes already. you’re suddenly hyper aware of your heartbeat pounding in your ears, how it throbs against your cunt and the droplets of perspiration trickling along your skin. you can feel megumi’s pulse heavy against your clit, the way his dick twitches as he smears the tip through the folds of your slick. it’s slowly driving him insane. but that’s okay. even through the static that bounces around in his skull- he knows that you hate it more.

after all, your boyfriend knows best.

your fingernails soar around to megumi’s back. you want to scratch him, but you can’t access his toned skin through the layers of his jacket. instead, you’re left fumbling and scrunching the fabric like a feline with an insatiable desire to itch its claws.

“megumi- please, it’s too much-“ you huff through laboured breaths, peering up at him through tear stained eyelashes.

it’s almost enough to make him melt. almost.

“what is?”

“this?”

he shifts himself back up, grabbing his dick and slipping only the tip in once more. he allows you a few centimetres extra before dipping back out and repeating the process again. megumi’s gaze locks with yours, as though he’s asking ‘is this what you want?’

“s-stop teasing me.. just put it in alreadyy~” you choke out a groan of frustration, ready to slam your hips down onto the full length of his shaft.

“why should i?”

“megumi, i swear to god- if you don’t fuck me right now-“

“-or what? you’ll go to my dad? good luck, when you couldn’t even fulfill your duties as being his toy.”

so fucking humiliating.

the way megumi instantly stands up and proceeds to stuff his still hard and leaking dick back into his boxers.

he’ll deal with it later.

you’re left stuttering, unable to form any coherent words, thoughts or insults to spew back at him. legs wide open, cunt empty and glistening in the blue tint of the moonlight.

he leans over, swiping some of your excess drool with his thumb before dipping it into your mouth. he half expects you to lick at his thumb, convince him to stay a little longer, but his skin sits in your mouth like a forgotten thermometer for a couple of seconds.

“if only you could see your face right now.” he hums, tone flat with a certain mockery.

sometimes, as the days pass, you can notice his resemblance growing closer and closer to toji.

the following day

you haven’t left the quarters of your room for the entire day. you’re stuck in bed, face mushed into the confines of your pillow. you’ve always held high regards of the fact that your libido isn’t necessarily extremely high, but when you’re promised dick just to be neglected of it? shit feels like you’re in heat. you can’t go to toji, because you’re mother’s home. not only that, but he’d be sure to teach you one of his lessons. you’re already shivering thinking of the conversation with him, how you’d even try to dig out of that hole you were already so deep in.

you can’t call megumi either… at least not for now. you sigh wistfully into the pillow, kicking your legs about on your bed as you hiss a groan of turmoil.

there’s a sudden knock at the door that snaps you out of your haze. it leaves you pumped, blood coursing through your veins and you shoot up like an attentive little puppy about to be taken for a walk.

“it’s open!” you clear your throat, humming.

the disappointment rocks your features so clearly that it’s embarrassing. it’s just your mother.

“you okay? thought you died in here, baby. lunch is ready, and your lovely megumi-kun came to say hello.”

what?

“megumi? that’s nice. did he leave a message or anything? like he just dropped by to say hello or-“

“hm? oh, no. he’s having lunch with us.”

“is everything okay, dear?”

“yeah! yeah, i’m good. sorry, i spaced out a little bit. small headache, that’s all. i’ll change clothes and i’ll come out to eat.” you dismiss your mother, keeping in the hyperventilation you’re about to undergo. she gives you a small glance of concern before returning to the dining room to serve her guests.

“(y/n)! we were just talking about you!” your mother hums, gifting you a smile of warmth and radiance as she pours drinks into some cups.

you can feel toji’s mocking stare dig holes into your skin.

you can fucking feel it.

you can imagine him saying it.

“slut.”

at the six chaired table, you scurry to sit the furthest away from megumi and toji. your mother shoots you a sideways glance, motioning for the seat between toji and megumi. you swallow thickly, awkwardly striding over to take a seat.

your knee accidentally knocks into toji’s and you instantly utter an apology.

“you should be.” he mutters underneath his breath, disguising the words as a sigh.

“so? you said you were talking about me?” you straighten yourself, perking up a semblance of cheerfulness and perfect innocence.

“oh, right! toji was just telling me how stuffed you were yesterday!”

your lids flicker in shock and you abruptly stare at toji, whose half lidded jade green eyes slowly land on yours before locking to meet your attention for a few seconds.

“sorry, what?” you stutter, finding it difficult to believe the situation.

“you know, the food? are you sure you’re alright, honey? you’ve been acting strange since this morning.”

“i’m fine, i swear. just some painkillers would be nice.”

when your mother turns around to rummage for some painkillers, she emits a squeak of alarm at the lack of them.

please. you’ll do anything to get out of this predicament.

“are we out? i can go grab some-“

“-no, that’s okay. i’ll head out. i need to grab a few extra things for dinner anyway. you three, make nice with each other!”

sure.

when the door shuts, you realise you’re out of options.

you can’t run away.

“so, megumi. how’s eating up after my leftovers feel?”

“leftovers? because one woman wasn’t enough for you?” megumi scoffs, averting his gaze.

“it’s not my problem that your woman came running to me. doesn’t that say something about you?”

“like what?”

“like, you can’t fuck her properly?”

“i can’t fuck her properly? but you’re telling her to keep your cum inside her? don’t you care what’ll happen if she gets pregnant?”

“see, megumi. she’s on birth control. you didn’t know that? and besides, if i didn’t know any better-“

toji finally allows you his undivided attention, staring right through to your soul.

“-i’d think your little girlfriend here likes walking around with my cum inside her.”

you’d be able to run a butter knife through the tension hanging in the air. the room holds its breath, and as do you in compliment of trying not to set things off into a piping hot mess.

“isn’t that right-“

“-princess?”

your fight or flight response kicks in at the malicious tone that coats toji’s tongue. you swallow thickly, throat parched and lips cracked.

but fuck.

if it isn’t the most arousing thing- the two of them squabbling over you.

toji screws his face at you, features lighting in a mix of awe and delight.

“really? you’re seriously enjoying this?” toji hums with mockery, eyebrows perking at your unusual behaviour. he can smell the sweet nectar of your arousal slicking against your underwear.

you abruptly stand up, ready to leave.

megumi’s hand curls around your wrist. he slings your hand behind your back, slamming you over the table. some silverware and plates clatter and dash against the hardwood floor.

“answer the question, (y/n).” he hisses.

you whimper a soft whine. there’s no way you’re answering that.

“get your fucking hands off of her.” toji barks, kicking his chair back.

“try me.”

something washes over you. a premonition, say. that if you don’t speak up, someone will end up seriously injured.

“i can’t choose between you two. i just can’t. so i think it’s the best option if we just stop this completely.” you sigh, prying megumi off of you. his stance relaxes and you wince at the pain in your spine. you rub your wrists in slight agony, refusing to meet either of their gazes.

“it’s been fun, but i think it’s time to draw the line-“

“no.” toji remarks offhandedly.

“huh?” you contort your face in offence. there’s something thick on megumi’s face, too. it almost looks like determination?

“i said no.” toji reiterates, taking a stride towards you.

his index and thumb caress your chin, tilting your jaw up to look at him.

“i don’t care how long it takes. whether it’s me or him-“

“-i’m making you choose.”

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ave-immaculata · 3 years

Note

will you tell us your conversion story? no pressure

Absolutely! It's pretty long, and trigger warning for some mental health issues, suicide, and sexual assault.

I think it sort of started way way back when I was 16. I'd been really struggling and had been misdiagnosed with so many mental health issues. I was medicated for these issues I didn't actually have (I'm autistic!) and I remember distinctly encountering a little voice telling me I needed to get off the meds I was taking. And well, I didn't know how to explain that and I was basically already experiencing visual hallucinations and having 20+ full panic attacks each day because of some of the meds, so it quickly devolved even further as a mess. I wasn't able to get off of them and it got bad enough I attempted suicide. I had what I refer to as a Divine Interruption where I just saw my mom coming in and finding my corpse, and it triggered a panic attack that led me to dial 911. I ended up being rushed to the hospital and they were concerned I'd have some permanent organ damage from everything I took, but thanks be to God physically I made a full recovery. I later found out that my attempt happened on the feast day of St. Jude, patron Saint of lost causes and desperate cases. There's a local parish named after him and I think someone asked for his intercession at just the right time. I was sexually assaulted not long after by one of my best friends. I remember another friend and her mom came over when I told her what happened and they helped me explain to my parents because I was really nonverbal after a bit, but the only thing I still remember saying was "What did I do wrong?? Why is God punishing me? Why does He hate me??" I had just started getting my feet under me post-hospital and then I was deeply betrayed and traumatized by someone I loved. Even though I didn't believe in God, I knew if He existed I must have been a terrible person in a past life or something to justify what was happening to me. Long story short, I ended up getting off of those medications and figuring out I was autistic (I was in a very bad scene and was cohabiting with a man way too old for me, but his son was autistic and he ended up mentioning his suspicions to me after one too many obvious childhood stories), and got really into atheism. I had a brief run in here with a home Bible study that I attended for a single night, without telling my boyfriend who was also super atheist, but I felt like I couldn't deal with Christianity while I was obviously in a situation they wouldn't approve of (premarital sex, BDSM, cohabitation, etc.) I ended up breaking up with him and moving back home, time goes on, in another relationship in the BDSM scene when that irritating desire for something crept back up. I found myself wanting to just sit in a Church's parking lot or to walk in on one that was open and sit. I didn't really, except once. I was too nervous to go in so I sat in front of a beautiful Mary statue they had out front. At some point I started considering the existence of God with an absolutely insane amount of pride. I was really stuck on the problem of evil (especially natural evil) and initially completely wrote off the Christian God. I tried praying and a lot of the time was vaguely if not outrightly disrespectful or blasphemous, especially when I got angry with God. I completely rejected the concept of Hell, was only interested in (eventually) finding a church that was LGBT+ affirming, and liked the idea of Quakerism, although I had some issues with it as well. I had a nagging in my head calling me to abandon kink and commit myself to celibacy but that was... terrifying. All of my friends except for maybe 2 were in the BDSM community. My boyfriend and I were both in it. I had introduced him to it! I worked up the strength to tell him I wanted to stop kink altogether and he totally agreed. I'd heard a liberal Christian talk about having pre-marital sex in a way that was somehow acceptable to God, but I tried that and I felt hollow inside. I felt like I was trying desperately to convince myself something was okay, that had always been okay, still was. But it wasn't, and even though he was okay with no kink he was NOT okay with no sex. I liked the idea of Mary though, and I didn't know what else to do, so I found a site that walks you through all the prayers of the Rosary on a whim (& gives you a different mini meditation on the mystery for each of the 10 Hail Marys) so I tried that. Then I did it again the next day and the next. Then after maybe a week I figured it was stupid and I should stop. I broke up with him, pandemic hit, and I was really left alone with my thoughts in a new way. I met a guy off (BDSM) Tumblr who was a professing Catholic. We messed around online for a bit but one day we had a really long phone call about religion. I told him where I was at and he just listened and supported that. He told me why he liked the Catholic Church even when I questioned him about it. I started looking into the Church's teachings and saw they were pro-life, side B, affirmed Hell, and a bunch of other things I just could never believe, so I set it aside. Then the 7th anniversary of my suicide attempt hit, which is always a harder time of year for me. The trees are all dying and I'm confronted with the memories of how horrific the hospital was, how desperate I was to escape life, how much I'd been hurting. I just felt this deep desire to try out the Catholic thing. To figure out the theological issues I had as I went. I prayed about it and signed up for RCIA pretty much a day or two after that, and from there it was... just a landslide. Once I was willing to give God an inch He gave back miles. My pride was my biggest issue through the whole thing, and like an excellent Father He just held my hand and guided me through it. I don't think Mama ever forgot those first few Rosaries I prayed. The Lord is so patient and generous and faithful. I remember one of the things that really helped me was the purpose of suffering, and specifically the idea that God suffers with us. There's a lot more to all of this, including more discernment between Eastern Orthodoxy and the Catholic Church, as well as looking into the historicity of Christ, wrestling with the concept of Infallibility, etc., but I think those are the big points of my conversion! For the record, I fully affirm all of the Church's teachings now, although some of them were easier and quicker to understand than others, but He helped me get there in the end. Also, ya girl's been completely celibate for almost an entire year! I found out that a lot of my issues had to do more with pride and vanity than with lust, but that's a whole other story.

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spiritualdirections · 4 years

Text

Buddhist and Catholic mindfulness

A lot of people today are interested in the Buddhist practice of mindfulness. The attraction tends to be the promise of mindfulness to manage our stress levels, to build up our attention span (even to cure ADHD), and generally to have a healthy lifestyle. One problem with this for a Catholic is that Buddhism in general is about achieving indifference to the world and its suffering. Another problem is the self-help, New Agey tone of many mindfulness guides.

The Catholic tradition has a counterpart to mindfulness that avoids these problems.

Indifference is a great spiritual starting place. It’s the foundation of Ignatian spirituality of discernment, for example. One can’t listen to God’s guidance in discernment if one has a disordered attachment to one particular choice, or if one has disordered emotions and passions that tie one to worldly considerations. And so achieving indifference to our emotions and to things of the world that are passing away is important. But indifference and detachment is a means and a stage in Catholicism, not our spiritual end. Rather, the end is charity, the love that comes from God and returns to God. So the Catholic counterpart to mindfulness has to have a different end.

Catholics should instead take up the practice of the presence of God, trying to acquire and maintain the “habitual sense of God’s presence” in the words of the Carmelite mystic Brother Lawrence. Another way of describing this goal is to make the things of God real to us, in the sense of the term that St. John Henry Newman describes in his Grammar of Assent. It’s not enough to hold doctrines (such as the doctrine that God is always present to us) in a way that leaves them at the level of an intellectual idea; we need to work to cultivate a real and living sense (or awareness) that God is actually present to us now and at each moment. This will have the same beneficial side effects on our health and the quality of our attentiveness as mindfulness, but for different reasons--rather than training our focus on what we happen to be doing, we instead concentrate on the fact that our loving God is with us while we’re doing it.

The desert Fathers developed one simple method to help with this--the repeating of short prayers known as aspirations. They can be the Jesus prayer, verses of scripture, the sayings of saints (e.g., “Jesus I trust in You”)--or even some words of your own that you repeat. The desert Fathers described these as “prayer darts” thrown up to heaven like javelins. St. Augustine recommends them as ways of calling divine things to our attention, especially when our attention is weak:

20. The brethren in Egypt are reported to have very frequent prayers, but these very brief, and, as it were, sudden and ejaculatory, lest the wakeful and aroused attention which is indispensable in prayer should by protracted exercises vanish or lose its keenness. And in this they themselves show plainly enough, that just as this attention is not to be allowed to become exhausted if it cannot continue long, so it is not to be suddenly suspended if it is sustained.

In fact, structuring your day around spiritual exercises (extending the principle behind the Liturgy of the Hours in the Rule of St. Benedict), including such short prayers, is a great way to practice the presence of God and to carry out St. Paul’s advice to “pray without ceasing.”

Finally, you can offer your work to God before you do it, and then work as if God is present at your side. Some people even imagine themselves doing their work in Joseph’s workshop, with me here, Jesus over there, Mary over there, and Joseph over there.

This might be an especially helpful way to live Catholic mindfulness during the Jubilee Year of St. Joseph.

#aspirations #prayer #Mindfulness #spiritual life #autodidact's guide to spiritual direction #spiritual direction

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vannahfanfics · 3 years

Text

Unpredictable

Category: Drama

Fandom: FullMetal Alchemist

Characters: Envy

Hey, everyone! I’m happy to finally present the piece I wrote for the @devilsplaygroundzine, which centers on Envy!

The flickering orange tongues of the crackling fire several yards away reflected in Envy’s eyes as he crouched in the dirty, dank alleyway. It was one of the many neglected nooks and crannies that abounded the Ishvalan slum encroaching upon the outer rim of Central City. It truly was a miserable place, Envy decided quite early on in strolling around; nothing but ramshackle hovels and ash-choked firepits and rank outhouses.

It was also the perfect domicile to have himself a bit of fun. Lounging around in those stinking sewers torturing the chimeras had grown quite dull. Thus, there Envy was, hunching down in the darkness opposite a small hovel watching as the Ishvalan refugees obliviously went about their business. It was a family, parents with a daughter who could be no older than five. They kneeled beside the fire, above which several sticks of freshly-caught trout were just nearly roasted; their hands pressed together while their heads bent in prayer. Envy sneered at the notion. So stubbornly, they clung to their God, which had allowed them to be massacred like sheep among wolves. I suppose they have to believe in something, lest they fall into despair.

That’s what Envy found so infuriating about humans, their unyielding tenacity and nauseating bonds. It’d be so much easier if they just wallowed in self-pity and defeat. The Homunculi pitted them against one another, and then suddenly, they’re preaching forgiveness and empathy. Envy’s teeth dug into his bottom lip as the image of a certain blond-haired, golden-eyed, loud-mouthed twerp who so embodied those ideals materialized in the gloom. Go away, FullMetal brat, he growled silently and waved a hand to banish the phantasm. It dissolved into dust, joining the thin coating on everything in the miserable slum.

Forgiveness and empathy could only last so long, however, until indomitable rage consumed them. Sneering roguishly, Envy crawled on all fours towards the humble little family, while his body morphed into the likeness of an Amestrian soldier. I’ll destroy it, he swore. I’ll destroy the hope and togetherness you covet so much!

“Good evening.” Envy froze mid-step when the Ishvalan man suddenly addressed him. It wasn’t right. Why was the monk not cowering in fear? The Ishvalan’s hands calmly rested upon his lap, and his white eyebrows curved slightly from the welcoming smile adorning his face. Still half-cloaked in shadow, Envy’s false blue eyes were wider than the full moon shining above. The mother had not even moved to protect her child. She ignored Envy and poked at the embers to send the dying fire gushing up once more. The flames licked greedily at the underbellies of the fish, charring the flesh. One, two, three… four, he counted blankly, though he knew not why. It wasn’t right, not at all. Where was the fear? The hate? The despair?

Why the hell were they smiling so contentedly, dammit?

“You must be tired from your patrol,” the man continued. Envy’s wits trickled back through the dam that had blocked the river of his mind. Patrol, yes. He was wearing the skin of an Amestrian soldier. It would make sense that he was patrolling the slum. Envy’s gold eyebrows quirked when the monk gestured to one of the cooking trout. “Please, we have one to spare. Help yourself.”

Envy was utterly flabbergasted. I don’t understand. I don’t understand. Ishvalans should hate Amestrians, especially the soldiers that mercilessly murdered their people by the thousands. Envy remembered it so well, corralling them to mow them down with machine guns, driving bayonets into long-dead bodies, children and mothers and even hardy men wailing in terror. This man should be slamming him up against the dirty brick wall, driving a fist into his jaw while the mother screamed and held her crying child. Yet, he was… inviting Envy to eat with them? He didn’t understand it, none of it.

Especially the fact that he wanted to agree.

Envy regarded the man suspiciously. Perhaps it was a trap. Yes, that’s what it could be; lure him in a false sense of security so his fellows could strike at Envy from behind. What a fun alternative. They could stick his back with so many daggers that he looked like a blood-soaked porcupine; it didn’t matter. Envy wouldn’t die. He found himself grinning at the bloody slaughter that would follow. Sure, old man, he cooed in his demented mind. I’ll play your game.

Envy smoothed the creases of the fake uniform before strolling over to the fire. The little girl’s red eyes bored into him as he knelt before the flames. Envy plucked the charred trout from the sand and scrutinized it. The scent of smoke and salt and even a few seasonings wafted up his nose, and despite himself, his mouth watered. One would think with their status, the Homunculi would eat well, but only Pride and Wrath had that honor. The rest of them had to go scrounging around like common urchins. Envy felt a little silly for salivating so excessively over some smoked trout, but his growling stomach soon overrode any prideful inhibitions.

“Thanks, old man,” he grunted before tearing his teeth into the succulent flesh. His eyes nearly rolled into the back of his head when the flavor exploded over his tongue. A hell of a lot better than the plain slop he stole on the daily around Central. Within seconds he was ravenously shredding into the fish. He paused, juice and bits of scale and meat dripping from his chin, as the Ishvalan laughed heartily.

“I knew you had to be hungry. A soldier’s duty is a demanding one.”

“Oh yeah?” Envy asked, eyebrow creeping up his forehead. He wasn’t quite sure where the monk was guiding the conversation. His ears pricked, listening for the sound of shuffling in the surrounding darkness, but he could not discern the presence of a potential surprise attack. The man’s kind face revealed no hostile intent. Envy finished off the fish and tossed the white bones into the fire, then began picking his teeth with the skewer. “Old man, I don’t get it.”

“Get what, young man?”

“Don’t you hate Amestrians?” A confused look passed over his face. For the first time, the woman stiffened and reached over to grasp her daughter’s hand. Envy watched, internally squirming with glee, as the man’s brown face sagged into sadness. Yes. Get sad. Then hate me. Then try to kill me, you foolish, predictable little human.

“No,” he contradicted, and Envy’s mouth fell agape. “I do not hate Amestrians.” Envy thought that surely, he must be lying, but it was hard to believe that when the older adult flashed him a soft, genuine smile. He did not care to elaborate, either; he just took his fish from the fire and calmly consumed it. Envy stared down into the orange flames. He had seen so many of them in his lifetime, gigantic white-hot flames that destroyed everything in their path - homes, crops, people - indiscriminately. Envy’s eye twitched as he struggled to comprehend the human monk.

I don’t understand. How can humans just so easily extend their hands and say, “it’s all right?”

Envy turned his head at the distant sound of screams and wails, rapidly growing closer. The end of the street was glowing auburn, just like the fire casting light upon his pale face. Little golden lights began to bob amongst the gloom, their ovoid forms growing with each passing second. From the darkness came frightened Ishvalans, tripping over their sandaled feet in a terrified effort to escape what was approaching. One of them, a twenty-something, stumbled and landed in the dirt on his belly behind Envy. The Homunculus stared disinterestedly at his hyperventilating form, while the monk scurried to his side. “What is it? What’s happening?”

“Amestrians!” the boy gasped. Envy’s mouth twitched into a sneer, which he hid in his palm. “An entire mob stormed across the river to the west with torches and weapons,” he sobbed and covered his head when a building a few houses down exploded. Scorching wood and glass bits rained down upon them. A few of the sharp objects sliced into Envy’s skin; the Ishvalans were too busy panicking to notice the small red lightning that skittered over his healing flesh.

“They must be angry about the fishing party earlier today,” the mother whimpered and hugged her daughter into her bosom. The little girl’s red irises swam in a sea of white. Envy stared thoughtfully at the skewer, then flipped it in his hand to brandish the pointy end. The monk had just finished bustling the man to his feet when he turned to Envy, who was languidly rising.

“You must leave. A single soldier cannot quell this hateful mob alone.”

“And what? You think a pacifying monk can?” Envy leered. The man winced; Envy had hit the nail of his intentions on the head. The next building erupted into flames, sending the shriek of hot wind and agonized screams into the air. Envy could leave, if he wanted to, and watch the slum burn from the tops of Central Command. He stared thoughtfully at the pointed wooden stick in his hand.

I don’t understand it, he thought once more with a small sigh. I really don’t, these humans and their kindness. However, he grinned seditiously, and his skin began to morph, the visage of the Amestrian soldier falling away to reveal his skinny and long-haired self. I understand the Amestrian’s hate perfectly fine. The family was finally cowering in the entrance of their little hut, which was no more than some cloth draped over some stacked boxes.

“Mister,” the little girl squeaked. She jumped when he turned his eyes on her. “What are you?”

“Oh, me?” he grinned and dramatically placed a hand over his chest. “I’m a monster.”

“What are you going to do?” the monk asked him with narrowed eyes. Envy shrugged and began strolling off toward the fiery carnage. The Ishavalans were attempting to throw pails of water onto the burning houses. Within seconds the angry mob of Amestrians cornered them and began beating them with sticks and fists. Envy sneered. So unpredictable yet so predictable. What a dichotomous breed. “What are you going to do?” the man yelled after him insistently, and Envy tossed a bored look over his shoulder.

“Me? Well, I’m going to do what monsters do best.”

It didn’t take long. Humans were just frail sacks of blood and meat. Still, a casual bloodbath was preferable to an actual challenge in this case. Constantly regenerating was exhausting and annoying. The Homunculus came strolling back to the little hovel, where the family still huddled inside shaking. His body still sparked to heal the bloody knife wounds he had incurred. Envy stopped in front of the shack and dropped the skewer in front of them. It was now dyed red and dripping with blood, just like his body. Their equally red eyes beheld it with a mixture of awe and horror.

“Thanks for the fish, old man,” Envy smirked and turned on his heel.

“Wait!”

Envy’s eyebrow raised as he looked over his shoulder. The little girl stumbled out, ignoring her parents hissing at her to get back into the tent. Envy’s eyebrow climbed higher when she offered him a little white weed flower. Her hands trembled as she crushed the green stem in her small fist. “Thank you for saving us.”

“Heh,” Envy grinned and took the flower from her. “Don’t thank me, squirt. I was just having some fun.” With that, he whirled on his heel and melted back into the darkness. Eventually, the slum fell behind him, replaced with dark woods. As Envy strolled along the path, he gazed thoughtfully down at the little flower, twirling it between his thumb and forefinger.

Humans, he frowned and tucked the flower behind his ear. So unpredictable… I hate them for that.

Enjoy this oneshot? Feel free to peruse my Table of Contents!

#envy #fullmetal alchemist #fma #fmab #fullmetal alchemist brotherhood

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r00m203 · 4 years

Text

after birth

i’ve always been mad that we never got to see what happened when mulder went in to bring scully to the hospital after she gave birth to wiliam, so this is that scene.

big big thanks to my favorite ladies @absolutetosh @scintillatingbluefishies and @stellaxxgibson for the beta and love.

also i’m on ao3 now. https://archiveofourown.org/users/R00M203

_____________

He rushes in. The sounds of screeching tires and car horns are thick and muffled in his pounding ears.

“Scully! Scully!! Where is she?!”

He isn’t sure if he is actually speaking; his senses overwhelmed by swirling dust, helicopter roar, moving cars, and complete, utter panic.

Peering through moving windows at lifeless eyes, he screams her name for what feels like hours.

Through the polluted air he sees a familiar face. The surrounding erratic movement makes him dizzy, but he walks towards the face, struggling to move quickly, feeling as if his body is submerged in molasses.

Monica.

“Mulder!” She calls, finally spotting him through the smokey lights.

He tries to analyze her expression, but can’t discern if her apparent lack of panic is real or just what he is trying so desperately to see.

“How is she?” he yells, finally picking up speed towards her. The ground beneath his feet feels like beach sand, seemingly requiring every muscle to move forward.

“She’s inside!”

As if breaking through a barrier, he pushes past her through the splintered wooden doorway. Monica catches his arm.

“She needs to get to the hospital.”

He nods, pausing for the first time in what seems like days to prepare himself for what he’s about to see. He breathes in, and enters.

Scully is laying on a small metal framed bed, in a grey t-shirt he’s never seen. She’s underneath what he guesses used to be white sheets, but are now stained red. Red, he takes note, that is still pooling between her legs. She glows in the candle light, wet hair stuck to her skin, face glistening in a mixture of tears and sweat. Her eyes flutter inconsistently. She cradles a bundle on her chest.

“Scully,” he exhales, a breath that seemingly propels his stuck feet toward her.

Her drooping eyes snap as he reaches her. She turns, using the last of her strength to shield the bundle beneath her.

“MONICA,” she screams.

He feels the pulsing in his chest quicken. He’s never heard such piercing panic in her voice. Not in all of the kidnappings, attacks, or abductions had he heard such penetrating fear erupt from her. She always seemed eerily calm when her life was threatened. His stomach churns at the realization that this time it wasn’t her life she was fighting for.

“Scully, it’s me. I’m here. Are you okay? Is the baby okay?”

“Get away from me!” She spits, her head still turned away from him, her spine curving protectively over the now crying bundle. “Don’t touch my baby.”

Her breath begins to quicken. She groans quietly under her breath.

She needs to get to the hospital.

Just as he remembers Monica’s words, he hears her voice.

“Dana, it’s okay, it’s just Mulder,” she soothes, rushing to the other side of the bed.

“How do you know?! They can look like ANYONE,” she gasps. “He’s normal …. he’s not what you thought …. please …. leave my baby alone.” She pants into the bundle, her voice getting weaker the longer she talks. She’s struggling for air.

“It’s a boy,” Mulder whispers, his heart suddenly in his throat. At the sight of blood still pooling between her legs, he suddenly snaps into gear.

“Scully, it’s me! Look!” He gestures to Monica who helps tilt her face towards him. He turns around, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Oh my god, Mulder,” she exhales, a breath that quickly transforms into an exhausted sob. “How did you find us?”

“She’s losing too much blood,” Monica warns. “We need to get her to the helicopter now.”

“No– NO,” Scully suddenly spouts in another adrenaline filled burst. “You can’t move me until the umbilical cord is cut, and he needs at least another 3 minutes.”

“Scully,” Mulder starts, kneeling down to her, “You’re losing a lot of blood. We need to get you to a hos-”

“I know I’m losing blood,” she shakes her head back and forth, “I’ve been losing blood. But he isn’t … My vitals are low so it’s taking longer … for him to get the nutrients he needs.” She pants, out of breath, “Please … a few more minutes.”

She adjusts the baby on her chest, the shirt stretched down and over him so his skin is against hers. Mulder sees the top of his head– wet and red. Normal.

The baby turns his little face to see what all the commotion is about. As Mulder watches the small blue eyes darting about the room and the tiny hands clutching at Scully’s collar bone, he feels a tightness spread across his chest. Tears flood his eyes. He reaches out to touch him gently, then her. Scully closes her eyes and releases the weight of her head against his hand.

“Scully, you’re freezing,” he whispers.

“I’m going into shock,” she says plainly. “I’m hemorrhaging … not enough blood is getting to my organs … so my body is … shutting down.” She shakes her head and gulps in an attempt to control her breath. “It could be because my… uterus didn’t contract enough … after he was born … or there could be a tear …or–”

“Scully, we need to go,” Monica starts.

“One more minute,” she commands in a voice so powerful they both know there is no way to refuse.

Feeling unbearably helpless, Mulder tucks a strand of drenched hair behind her ear. She smiles slightly.

“Monica, I need you … to massage my lower stomach … it stimulates contractions which … slows the shock,” she chokes out, her voice getting smaller with each word.

Monica jumps to her feet and presses into her abdomen. Scully cries out involuntarily and Monica freezes.

“No … that’s right … keep going,” she grimaces and lets out a sharp exhale. Mulder squeezes her clammy hand.

“Listen to me, Mulder,” she starts, looking into his flooding eyes intently. “In thirty seconds … you need to cut …the umbilical cord. Then…you both are going to… fuck,” she closes her eyes in frustration and inhales as slowly as she can, “pull out my placenta.” She exhales, exhausted, clearly using all the strength in her body to continue talking.

He nods as she continues. “I don’t know …if I can stay awake…. to talk you through it.” Tears flood her eyes and he moves a hand to wipe the escaped ones away, ignoring the wetness scattering across his own hot cheeks.

“Once the umbilical cord…. is cut…. one of you needs to press on my stomach…. like,” she gestures to Monica’s current motion, “and the other needs to grab the cord…. and pull gently.”

He nods eagerly, fear evidently plastered across his face. She winces but continues to talk, her voice noticeably straining.

“Now….when it’s out…. ah…. there’s going to be even more blood,” she gulps and takes as deep a breath as she can muster, “Mulder–”

He cradles her head in his hands and listens more intently than he ever has in his entire life.

“Everything you need for him…. is in my apartment…”

“Scully, what are you–”

“Don’t buy storebrand formula…. it's not good for him… my mom will tell you what kind to buy…. since I won’t be able to–”

“Scully, stop.”

“And hold him against your skin…. when you feed him….it’s bonding… for both of you.”

“Scully you don’t–”

“And sing to him …. when you put him to sleep.” Her chest rises and falls quickly. She lays her head back. “I know you hate your voice but–”

“Scully, listen to me,” he takes her face in his hands. “You don’t need to tell me these things because you’re going to do them. We’re going to get both of you out of here. Safely. Okay?”

She looks at him dreamily, her eyes beginning to gloss over. She’s not reacting to the pain anymore.

“Scully— Scully, I can’t do this without you. You have to stay with me. Please–” his voice catches as his throat constricts. He gulps down a rising sob.

“Kiss me,” she whispers.

Holding the back of her damp neck, he presses his lips to hers with more fear and love and pain than he thought was possible. They inhale together. He pulls back and looks into her closing eyes.

“I love you,” she breathes into his parted lips.

He kisses her again, but this time she doesn’t inhale with him. He feels her suddenly limp in his hands, beneath his lips. He pulls away.

“Scully? Scully!” He yells, lifting her face up, trying to shake her awake.

“I’m cutting it now,” he announces to Monica, who’s already handing him scissors.

“Press here,” Monica orders, moving to the red space between her legs as he replaces her hands with his.

He does, and as she pulls, he feels movement beneath his hands, beneath her cold skin. Monica gasps as she successfully removes the placenta and the increased amount of blood Scully warned of spills from her too.

“I’ll carry her. Tell the pilot we’re coming,” Mulder shouts, already drenched in red as he hooks his arms under her legs.

“I’ll grab the baby,” Monica starts but Mulder quickly interrupts.

“No, leave him,” he pants, “I have them both.”

Not about to waste any time arguing, Monica runs out of the little wooden house into the dust storm that is now outside.

Mulder scoops up Scully, making sure the baby is still perfectly nestled in her arms. The baby begins to squirm, letting out a quiet cry.

“It’s okay little one, you’re safe. Everything’s gonna be okay.” He repeats the last thought again, more to himself than to his son.

Her head bobs as he runs, as quickly as he can, to the helicopter. He tries to shield their faces from the swirling dust. Unconscious, she still cradles the baby perfectly against her chest.

It takes Mulder, Monica, and the Pilot to get her limp body into the helicopter safely. Mulder follows. He cradles her and their child in his lap, forgetting the blood, forgetting the super soldiers, forgetting everything. He rocks back and forth, whispering the closest thing he’s ever said to a prayer against her cold, soft hair curling against his lips.

_____________

thank you for reading and indulging in the ~drama~

tagging the women who inspire me as usual @scintillatingbluefishies @stellaxxgibson @absolutetosh @storybycorey @today-in-fic @baronessblixen @sarie-fairy @gaycrouton

#txf #missing scene #lets cry about scully #maybe someday soon i'll stop writing about william #maybe not #stay tuned

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