#love how just the other day i said 'major character death is a pretty clear tag though

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

"you shouldve shot me when you had the chance"

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

Different nonnie from the Tikki-Xuppu person, but what you said about Tikki’s personality fitting Order better than Creation made me think about how Pollen would’ve be a better fit for Creation symbolism-wise over Tikki given how much bees better fit that image over ladybugs with their beeswax, honey and hive-making, not to mention the intimate relationship humans of various cultures have had with bees for literal millennia. Even the restoration of Miraculous Ladybug fits bees better due to the connotations of pollination and how essential bees are for the world’s ecosystem. In a universe where Pollen was the kwami of Creation with Tikki’s canon powers (though with bee-theming of course) to Plagg’s Destruction, how do you think things would’ve gone with Marinette and Adrien while having their canon personalities? How do you think they would have played off of each other with their canon personalities?

(Post that spawned this ask)

Before we begin, I want to note that my answer is probably going to be at least a little biased by @zoe-oneesama Scarlet Lady comic because Pollen has a big role in that and Zoe's read on Pollen pretty closely matches mine. Do with that what you will.

This is the first Kwami swap that I could see working. Plagg's personality is so iconic that it's hard to imagine anyone being an improvement, but Tikki is pretty generic. While she has a clear personality, she has no real interests or hobbies that make her stand out. She's mostly just here to be cute and act as the writer's mouthpiece. While I hate that for her and think she deserves better, it does mean that booting her and replacing her with a different Kwami doesn't feel like you're breaking a core element of the show so long as her replacement plays off the other characters well.

We don't see much of Pollen in canon, so it's hard to get a great read on her, but she her love of calling Chloe "my Queen" and the fact that Pollen is a bee give me vibes of a loyal, devoted Kwami who thinks that her Chosen is the best thing ever no matter what. Compare that to Plagg who delights in tormenting his Chosen and there's major potential for some excellent banter and fun contrasting moments, which is what Tikki's replacement would need to be able to do. Tikki and Plagg's contrasting dynamic is a lot of fun and you wouldn't want to lose it. Pollen and Plagg's dynamic would be different, but in a similar enough vein that I think it could work. Which is actually a point in Pollen's favor. If she was just another Tikki, then there would be no point in making the switch.

While Tikki is often dishing out lectures, her most valuable role is building Marinette up in moments when Marinette is feeling down. Pollen should be able to do that no problem. If anything, Pollen may be a little too zealous in supporting Marinette, but since Marinette isn't often shown to listen to Tikki's advice, that's not really an issue. It could even be a new source of comedy where Marinette comes up with insane plans and Pollen hypes her up while the audience watches in fascinated horror. It could be a lot of fun and also give Alya a better chance to fill the voice-of-reason role that she's occasionally allowed to have. That's one of the many awkward things about Alya knowing now. Her and Tikki often fill the same role on the civilian side since Tikki isn't presented as a wise, ancient mentor who knows things that these kids don't.

I especially love the idea of a Kwami swap where Adrien is praised to death and then refuses to give Pollen back because he needs this right now, okay? His lady can have the cheese loving gremlin for a few days while Pollen floats after him, calling him a Queen and praising his every move. Maybe Pollen even starts sneaking into his backpack and leaving him whatever her favorite treats are as a little sign that he's appreciated, leading Plagg to get all territorial, which further validates Adrien. (I just really like comedy that has a sweet undertone, okay?)

Since we don't have a full understanding of Pollen's personality, I won't speculate further than that as I'm trying to avoid getting too far into the realms of headcanon, but I do really like this idea and think it could be a lot of fun. I even like the idea of Pollen as Creation because bees do make more sense than ladybugs from a theme perspective. Plus Ladybee was such an iconic look, one of the few good unifies, and a version of that without the red would still be fabulous!

[cefalodankovsky]

Kaeya's story would have a pretty big plothole if he's telling the truth (Or in other words why Kaeya is probably lying his ass off) An analysis.

Major spoilers for caribert and Kaeya's character story.

Addendum : This is mostly for fun and to explore Kaeya's character and interactions, I'm not God, I can be wrong about things.

Important things are marked in orange and specific commentary on some elements of text is marked in purple.

Also while I do believe Kaeya is lying in Caribert and is generally an unreliable narrator, if you believe otherwise and can still make sense of his story please tell me, I would like to know other points of view or things I might have missed.

It is first said in Kaeya's vision story, he fought with diluc the day his father died. The reason why is quite simple, he told Diluc he was an agent (or pawn, depending on the nuance of the translation) planted by Khaenri'ah to serve their interests (and by the wording of the text, he had an idea of what the "ancient plot" meant). He comes clean and then fights Diluc as "his true self".

There was a side to Kaeya that he kept hidden from the world: In truth, he was an agent of Khaenri'ah, placed in Mondstadt to serve their interests. His father had abandoned him in this strange and unknown land to fulfill this mission, and it was Master Crepus and the city of Mondstadt that had welcomed him with open arms when they found him.

If Khaenri'ah and Mondstadt went to war, which side should he support? To whom should he offer his assistance: his birth father, who had ruthlessly abandoned him? Or his adoptive father, who had loved him and raised him?-

Quite a dramatic thought, makes it sound as if his mission will inevitably end in a war between the both of them, partly backed by Mona's voiceline

As a brother, he should have shared in Diluc's grief, and yet as their father lay dying on the ground, he had hung back behind his brother, that ancient plot running through his mind.

The use of that ancient plot instead of the ancient plot, or an ancient plot. makes it sound as if there are multiple ancient plots he is aware about, perhaps not the actual intended meaning but it's a fun thought, like how many ancient plots is Khaenri'ah directly involved in??? (probably a lot)

Consumed by guilt, Kaeya knocked on Diluc's door. As the rain poured down, the shroud of secrecy was washed away and all lies were revealed. Kaeya had finally come clean.

This is all fine and makes sense, Diluc feels betrayed and out of anger and residual sadness from his father's death, and strikes against someone he considered a brother, this causes a big rift between them and is a focal point in their relationship. Let's see how this character story is contradicted by the Caribert story quest, probably on purpose.

In Caribert Kaeya claims his father sent him to mondstadt to perhaps find happiness.

Kaeya: My life had less and less to do with Khaenri'ah as I grew up, and so I started caring less as well.

Kaeya: I used to believe that I had inherited some sort of duty from my father..

Kaeya: But then I began to wonder... Maybe my father left me in the peaceful land of Mondstadt for no other reason than simply to give me a happier life...

Then he didn't ruthlessly abandon him or send him to mondstadt to fulfill Khaenri'ah's goals, which contradicts everything previously established.

Kaeya: A happy life sounds good to me, of course. Even if it means being cut off from... certain things.

He sounds unsure, it's unclear If he wants to be cut off or not from those certain things, but what is he talking about?, If he doesn't know about the Alberich's involvement in the abyss order then what is he being cut off of according to him?.

It is implied Kaeya is just sugar-coating things, partly out of denial, partly out of a need to not reveal all his cards to the traveller, so I'm not going too in-depth with this section individually, as I believe it to be a clear cut lie in story.

And then the conversation with Dainsleif happens, and things get even messier.

Dainsleif: Tell me... what do you know about the significance of that name, "Alberich"?

Kaeya: Ah, you've decided to join us? I was wondering how long you planned on listening in. I believe I've seen you before in Mondstadt... Dainsleif, if I'm not mistaken?

Nice deflection buddy, almost as if he knows that If Dainsleif continues with that line of thought then some uncomfortable things will be revealed

Dainsleif: So you remember me (was he in Mondstadt to stalk Kaeya?). Then we are already acquainted, Kaeya Alberich... descendant of the Abyss Order's founder.

This means two things, first while the abyss is older than Khaenri'ah, the abyss order is a direct product of it, the sinners that are all that's left of Khaenri'ah according to Kaeya?

Kaeya: ...

Traveller: The Abyss Order...?

Paimon: What!?

Dainsleif: I take it that you weren't aware of this until now, Kaeya, or you wouldn't have been so forthcoming with your surname.

This is the part that always fucks me up, it makes a point for Kaeya being unaware of the implications of his surname, but also if Kaeya is telling the truth about not knowing anything about his father's motivation or goals for leaving him in Mondstadt, then what is his character story talking about, what the hell did he tell Diluc.

Do the character stories have information the character in story doesn't?, who's narrating the stories then?, Are they impartial?, are those kaeya's thoughts about his father's motivation?, Because that also contradicts what he says in Caribert. Or did he think his father was just working for Khaenri'ah which in his mind was a completely different thing from the Abyss order???, Then why did he have suspicious information explicitly from the abyss order like the title of the leader?, Which no other character apart from Dainsleif has (who would obviously know that)

I generally just take this as Dainsleif taunting Kaeya and trying to make him fall into a trap, because it makes the most sense.

Kaeya: Oh, my... that's quite a lot of baggage for a surname, isn't it? Though I must say, it does confirm an old suspicion of mine. I suppose that was why my father left me in Mondstadt after all... (How does that confirm anything, How does it improve your understanding of the ancient plot your father sent you to fulfill, in text it is said he was aware of the mission and was an agent or pawn, you already knew why your father left you)

Dainsleif: I'm surprised that you take me at my word without the faintest hint of skepticism... (Aka why are you lying you obviously knew this)

Kaeya: Well, perhaps what you told me just happens to answer some questions I carry in my memories. And, in any case... I recognize your eyes...(nice change of topic)

Okay the nicest interpretation I can give is maybe he knew his father was part of the abyss order but not that he was the descendant of the creator of the abyss order, but then what is the ancient plot he was sent to complete and why him?

Kaeya: You're a pure-blood Khaenri'ahn, aren't you?

I'm not even going to get into the, is Kaeya a full blooded Khaenriahn? thing or not because frankly I lack the information of the traits of a full blooded Khaenriahn. And in the best case scenario it just gives extra information on his mission.

Dainsleif: Very clever. (Thanks Dainsleif for actually being concise, even if you are most definitely hiding shit as well) Forgive me for being direct, but I sincerely hope this new knowledge doesn't change anything. If you've already let go of your ties to the past... then keep it that way.

This is just a barely hidden threat, if it's a don't get involved threat or keeping up the charade and clearly stating you are against the abyss order threat, is left up to interpretation

Paimon: Kaeya... You're not involved with the Abyss Order in any way, are you...?

Kaeya: Hey, hold on now. This conversation has taken a rather sudden turn for the deadly serious... and I'm afraid that as someone from Mondstadt, I'm not accustomed to this sort of atmosphere...

Deflection again, and identifies himself as someone from Mondstadt which in this conversation is also a double way of saying, I'm not a threat.

Kaeya: So what if I know my ancestry? Do I strike you as the type who would be bound by that kind of thing?

He changes his position again, "well even If I knew I wouldn't do anything for the Abyss order", which is weird because even by the kindest of interpretations he is terribly conflicted (Mona's voiceline, His character story, the fact this conversation is taking place to begin with)

Kaeya: Relax. I'll be just as delighted to hunt down the Abyss Order tomorrow as I have always been.

And how delighted are you, really?, And does this really make no change to you, almost as if you already took this into account?.

Traveler option 1: I trust you, Kaeya.

Traveler option 2:I think... I guess.

The real problem with the Idea that Kaeya is fully genuine about having no connections to Khaenri'ah or knowing about the Abyss order is that apart of all his info from his character story being wrong or unexplainable apart from the excuse of, well he had absolutely 0 context about anything , which would be strange especially for a character as Kaeya known for always having the upper hand info-wise. But that his fight with Diluc would make no sense. What did he tell Diluc?, That he was from Khaenri'ah and his father left him in Mondstadt to try to maybe make sure his son has a happy life far from the stress of Khaenri'ah (Stress like a mission or an ancient plot)?, How would that be a betrayal of any type, and how would that revelation show a hidden part of his true self?. If Kaeya knows nothing about this, then the emotional core of his story is ruined, because he would have never been conflicted when Crepus died, He would have no reason to be loyal to Khaenri'ah or the abyss order apart from his father being from Khaenri'ah, a father which abandoned him ruthlessly (or maybe not, who knows), The sinner's are all that's left of Khaenri'ah voiceline would just be meanspirited for no reason (because if those sinners were working for the abyss order, then it would make sense that he were critical of them), and His fight with Diluc would make no sense.

So in accordance to this, I believe Kaeya is lying about not being aware of the implications of his surname and the reason he was sent to mondstadt.

Thanks for reading if you have made it this far, and correct me if I'm wrong about something.

[leeofthevoid]

Pretty little Rose

Venetia Catton x Reader

A/N: To my lovely girl who deserves everything. This one is for you.

Warning: Mentions of ED, Major character deaths, Strong language

So what if you were there every time Venetia had to puke because of Alcohol? You have always been there since she started when you were twelve and little Felix was ten. Always the sloppy one. 

Who cares if you were the one to dye her hair blonde ever since she saw her mom’s old modeling photos just for her to hear Elspeth say it didn’t fit her and it looked tacky? 

The one who held her when she cried about how little love she felt, “I’m always here for you, Venetia. I’ll always love you.” and gets a small chuckle from her, getting a kiss on the cheek as she dries her tears.

Venetia was very quick to tell you about her firsts. Her first kiss, make-outs, hell, you were the first to know how she lost her virginity when you were fourteen. It was irritating to hear those, but you never had the heart to tell her. However, it was hilarious to see her face scrunch up when she found out you already had your firsts way before her. It was a Catton pride thing.

The one person she’d call when she had no one to turn to when you were leaving Saltburn to go back to the city and attend school again. You don’t even ask her about anything since she always tells you everything. It went on until year ten, when she stopped talking to you completely. 

There was even a time when you and Felix bonded more than how you and Venetia did because she started to entertain the boys who asked her out. It was apparent how much she loved the attention she got. But every time she caught you and Felix laughing at something stupid, she had that longing look, like when she talked about her parents. Pretty weird to see from someone who ghosted you and killed off your friendship.

You did have your friendship redemption two years later when she stumbled into your room drunk and crying, screaming at you for not trying to talk to her harder. She confessed about playing hard to get because it made her feel nice. And got madder when she saw you and Felix bonding and playing at the pond. “You can’t just become Felix’s, you’re mine! I had you first!” She slurred a little, but that doesn’t mean her message wasn’t clear. You caught her when she tumbled down to your bed and laid her gently on the bed before she pulled you down with her. To put it simply, she kissed you. Very roughly, too. She wasn’t a bad kisser and maybe quite good, but she put in so much emotion and hunger in it that it had to stop. 

When you went to university, Venetia didn’t like that you went to Oxford instead of  Cambridge with her. You said it was because you wanted to be an excellent example to Felix and Farleigh, to which she tried to fight you by ranting about how you lost your love for her when you started hanging out with them more. Of course you disagreed and set aside your pride by giving her a tight hug that she always caves into.

You quickly drove to Saltburn when your summer started after your second year at university when you found out she had dropped out. Venetia wasn’t very good with her food and how she saw herself. You always tried to help her go through those darker days when she felt like shit and had no good relationship with food. You always tried to make her favorites, which Venetia happily ate and stayed a little to digest. The fact that she tried to sit for thirty minutes more after she ate made you realize she tried. Though…She dismissed your suggestions about going to a professional together. 

It never bothered you when Venetia confided in you with boys. Hell, you were the one always making sure she was stocked up with protection and mailing her aftercare products you thought would benefit her. “You’re like a dad sometimes, Love. You should totally date me.” “Haha. Sarcasm is not welcome in this household, Vee. I need you to be safe out there, alright?” She chuckled from the other line and sighed. “I didn’t hear a no.” You laughed. God, you love her laugh. 

The next few years were hard to keep up with. You were so busy that you almost didn’t go home to see your family for the summer. Venetia always complained about you not visiting her at Saltburn. She always made you promise to answer when she called, and she even went to Oxford with Felix and Farleigh when they enrolled just to crash at your place. 

Of course, there was some cuddling and friendly kissing between you. And very friendly moans, too, but why do you need to add that? 

Then the talking stopped one summer, which was odd for you. You didn’t pay mind because Felix eventually called you to join a party they will hold for a bloke named Oliver. You even got some scoop from Farleigh that Venetia and Oliver had a summer thing that Felix didn’t like. Vee never really had a chance to share Felix’s toys. That's probably why she kept you around, but who cares? 

You saw Venetia with that beautiful spider dress of hers while you dressed up like those silly little elves from the “theme,” which no one cared to follow. “Hey Vee, you look dashing as always.” She chuckled and poured you some more of her champagne. “You’re such a flirt sometimes, so I keep you around.” You rolled your eyes before settling down on the couch next to her. She swung her legs on your lap and made herself comfortable. “It’s been so long since I’ve seen you. You look good, Love. Something about university made you stunning.” You patted her legs and smiled. “It would be a crime to show up and not look my best.” “You always look your best.” She smiled that pretty little smile, her hands finding their way into yours. Venetia didn’t dye her roots without you to help her, leaving a swell of awe in your chest. The night went so well between you two, and it was splendid. 

The next time you saw her. She was withdrawn. So pale and so sad. Life looked like it drained out of her eyes as you slowly stood beside her, putting a sunflower on Felix’s grave. You weren’t very traditional and knew Felix would have laughed at your need always to be different. You embraced her the whole ceremony while she just stood quietly. Her body leaning against yours as if she couldn’t stand without you. She looked lovely, but you hated how much sadness she pent up, how there was nothing said at all between you two that day. You will forever regret that day for the rest of your life…That was the day you last saw Venetia. 

The next time you had to see Vee, you couldn’t even see inside the coffin. You were trying so hard to keep it together while they all went through with the ceremony. You couldn’t stop shaking and losing stray tears as it rained down on you. When it was time for you to put your flower down, you opted for a pink rose. It looked so pure and unreal. It looked like her when she was so alive. You slowly leaned down and kissed the coffin, and slowly walked away. You couldn’t take it anymore when you stood beside a tree. The tears streamed down as your legs gave out. No sound came out as your emotions poured into you. Venetia was gone. Venetia will never come back. Venetia has left you forever. You sobbed and sobbed for about two hours. At one point, Oliver kneeled beside you and whispered in your ear. “We should have seen it coming.” Your heart dropped, but his words didn’t set in until after the day. You felt rage and sadness. 

You felt empty. 

There were many flowers in the world, but none as pretty as your little Rose.

a/n: Please tell me if you want more prompts like these!

[the-eeveekins]

The 20th Day of G-Witch: Not the Best Way

Elan & Norea had great chemistry in these short moments, it's just a shame that the more I watch S2, the less I enjoy this little side plot. I think either the time could have been better spent elsewhere or these characters could have been better spent doing something else.

I know Suletta & Miorine barely spending any time together in S2 is a sticking point for many (even myself). That said, you cannot deny that even if they weren't physically together for long, they were almost always thinking about each other and making choices with the other in mind. Even if the relationship isn't on screen as much as we'd like, it undoubtedly is a core aspect of moving the plot forward in S2.

I appreciate that when Miorine went into negotiations with Benerit Group talking points and motivations, the Earthian Delegation immediately told her off and made it abundantly clear she has essentially zero respect or authority as a member of the group.

But it also went to show that, when she dropped the Group's BS, and came to them with something from her company, something she was passionate about that wasn't directly connected to the Benerit Group and was even worked on by Earthians, she made progress towards working together with them.

Here we see a wild tanuki, rummaging through the fridge for some food.

This is arguably my favorite Suletta face in the whole show. Caught in the act digging through the fridge in the dark? Suletta is the most relatable Gundam protagonist ever.

This scene is so important because not only does Suletta realize that she hasn't lost everything, but that Earth House still sees her as a friend, worth caring for even though she's done nothing by lay in bed for days. For a girl who measures her self-worth almost entirely based on how useful she thinks she is to others, having others openly love her just for being her and not for anything she's done is a major boost to her self-esteem and how she values herself.

This was the episode where, even when I was watching it for the first time, I started to dislike Guel. He kind of arrogantly says he doesn't believe her can trust Miorine with negotiations, and then the first thing he does when they arrive it ask Miorine to do them herself so he can chase after some kid. A kid he doesn't seem to eager to help, by the way. I know the Academy is run by Grassley, but as the head of one of the three major companies in the Benerit Group, you'd think he'd try and at least tell the kid he'd see what he could do with his connections, but he's completely dismissive of Seto, despite seeing the conditions on Earth first hand.

At this point it was pretty clear he didn't actually care strongly about Earth and was focused completely on the company. And running off like a hothead to Shaddiq.

One interesting thing in this scene is the implication that Sophie & Norea were members of Ochs Earth even though they were obviously members of Dawn of Fold and had been for some time based on previous information. Ochs Earth (and by extension the SAL) provided the Lfrith Ur and Thorn to DoF for the sake of helping them destabilize the group, likely starting with the Plant Quetta operation. Either it's a weird contradiction, or the implication is that Ochs Earth was training Sophie & Norea as Gundam pilots well beforehand.

Regarding Prospera's dialogue: Obviously she still bears a grudge that GUND medical technology was weaponized by Ochs Earth in order to receive funding to continue development. This not only led to the downfall of the Vanadis Institute and the death of her husband, mentor and colleagues, but with the revelation that Ochs Earth was secretly kept alive by the SAL to continue developing Gundams in secret, it also means that basically everyone responsible for burying the medical technology in the first place got away with it without serious consequences.

And since the Group itself is so behind on developing Gundams thanks to the Cathedra Agreement, Ochs Earth is currently the biggest threat to her plans, as the only way to feasibly stop Quiet Zero would be with a Gundam that could overcome the override. And while finding pilots to stay alive in Score 5 long enough to do it would be difficult, if not impossible, better to wipe out the weapons now on the chance they find someone.

(They did.)

Shaddiq is still an absolute creep when it comes to Miorine.

This is a great shot. You can just barely make out the Aerial ominously floating amid the smoke in the background. It really helps sell that it's now the antagonistic Gundam of the series.

The theme of this episode is that sometimes people make terrible choices with good intentions because at the time it was seemingly the best or only option available. And in truth it's a running theme for a large part of the show. Armed with what she now knows about her mother and Ericht and seeing what's happening, Suletta realized that even though it hurt her, Ericht was only trying to protect Suletta from being dragged into their mother's plans.

And while it's not stated here, presumably she makes the same connection to Miorine's actions.

Aside from the issues with episode 15 in retrospect, I continue to have no problems with the pacing of S2 up to this point. Yeah there's characters who I wish had more screentime or were used better, but the pacing feels fine and it hasn't caused any issues with the story yet. It's really starting next episode that I thought things started to go off the rails a little, and time wasted on side characters really started to affect the main plot.

[toxifoxx]

CAN YOU TALK TO US ABOUT MRS. AFTON HEADCANONS RAHHHHH?!?!?!? (sorry if this has been asked before HEJSKDHFDJDHFHFH)

i shall try my best :3

already said this before but shes mexican YIPPEEE!!!!

personality something like. kind of reserved but still making an effort to be sociable. ooohhh i could see her as sarcastic & thats where michael got his sense of humor from. smart. hard-working. very determined in the choices she makes.

associated with the color blue,. i like to think she lived somewhere near the coast & she misses the beaches & ocean in fuckass utah

speaking of which she only lived in mexico during her younger childhood years, they moved when she was around 6 or 7

maybe economic reasons or a natural disaster or something forced them to move . DONT ASK ME!!!!!!!!!!!

decently big family. shes got like 3 siblings at least (<-words spoken by an only child)

dont think they were too fond of her transitioning. not enough to kick her out but they wouldn't let her do it while she was living under their roof

so naturally she immediately gets on that when she's out on her own for college

was a ballet dancer. since she would also be in the auditorium area, thats how william and her met :] (since william's a fuckin theatre kid. EEK!!)

i think she majored in something entirely different though and ballet was just a hobby. could see her doing something related to mathematics. maybe she'd want to be an accountant.

i just see her as being really smart tbh i think she would be and maybe that's part of what caught william's attention

she doesn't strike me as the type to crave motherhood. william's pregnancy was panic inducing for her too, though she tries her best to be excited about it and be a good mother, its not quite what she wanted

she does a pretty decent job at it though she's not like exceptional or anything. but her parenting sure looks exceptional if you put it next to william's

tries really hard to make the marriage work. even when she knows, clear as day, william is fuckign around with henry. she feels like she has to be with him, they're both trans, and they used to love each other so much in the early days, surely they're meant to be?

yeah that comes crumbling down after evan's death. divorces his ass and nopes outta the picture i guess. well she does get partial custody on weekends but im not sure where she goes after that. give me 1 million year to think about it

thanks for the ask ^_^ good to be finally thinking about her character

[impishsensei]

more spoiler talk under the cut

okay i've been marinating with my thoughts for a bit but i have to let them out. i've been keeping up with jjk since 2021. i watched the anime and then immediately started reading and caught up with the manga in like 2 days. back then, the shibuya incident had just wrapped up. i was keeping up weekly, and i think by the time the part with maki slaughtering the zenin clan came around was when i started to think like "damn... the pacing is kinda wonky here". i think around that time is also when gege stated he wanted to end the manga in like 2 years... now we all know that didn't come true but it's clear that we're relatively close to the end. and saying it back then, that meant gege believed the end was in sight... i had a feeling from then it was gonna be rushed lol. i kinda fell off reading jjk bc i was getting bored of waiting for weekly releases, and it wasnt til last year when gojo vs sukuna was happening (while season 2 was coming out) that i picked up the manga again. the fight was pretty exciting, especially with all the memes, but i remember thinking that it was all so... drawn out for no reason because we all knew exactly how the fight was gonna end. and i was right lol. personally, i don't hate the fact that gojo died. i was sad of course, but my main issue with it has always been that i feel it wasn't handled well and ultimately, i don't think it is the perfect way to wrap up his character arc. i find it pretty bleak, actually, especially in a story that (stated within the text itself) is supposed to be about hope, love, and powering through the pain.

i fully believe that one month time-skip between gojo's unsealing and the showdown was a terrible decision. it was a miss opportunity for gege to make us care more about his bond with the other students. though honestly, this isn't so shocking considering how much the series lacks moments between characters in general, but really... with a month, there was no reason at all to NOT show us this other than gege just wanting to get on with the fight and get gojo out of the story. aside from that weird timeskip i honestly believe gojo was acting weirdly out of character and stupidly from the moment he came back. why not just kill sukuna and kenjaku the moment he was unsealed rather than letting sukuna prepare? especially when knowing the world is at risk lol?? we could argue that maybe he doesn't want to hurt megumi, but in the fight he had no qualms about launching buffed hollow purples at him sooo... idk, i know it's to push the plot forward, but it's such a dumb decision from a character that's supposed to be smart that it's a bit difficult to overlook. then there's his non-reaction to nanami and no mention of nobara... i get that people in his world die all the time, but really? he really said "damn that's crazy" about nanami and didn't even acknowledge nobara. ON TOP OF THAT is how he's just suddenly cool with gakuganji even though we know gakuganji is one of the conservative old fools? the same guy that killed yaga? and he's chill about it?

i mention all this to hammer this idea that already, gojo's acting ooc. i personally felt like his death chapter at the airport was a major punch in the face, not because i was sad about his character dying, but because of how it was handled and how he was characterized. apparently all he cared about was being strong and fighting? i'm sorry, literally everything else in the manga prior to his unsealing indicated that gojo actually cared about other people lol. it just... felt like such a cheap justification for why his and sukuna's fight had to happen. granted, i did enjoy that fight and do enjoy their dynamic, but that fight itself is honestly probably the last real high point of the manga.. and even then i have some gripes with the execution lol

in this chapter, and from the beginning, really, we're also hammered in this point that gojo wanted to foster the youth to become stronger than him. he could not beat sukuna alone, but gojo believes that the combined strength of his students can take sukuna down. it wasn't just a battle of the strongest, but a battle of ideologies going on here.

and THAT is why i really, truly hate the developments of the most recent chapter. so, gojo's students and the other sorcerers have thrown everything they possibly can at sukuna, and it's still not enough? so they... bring back gojo? only, it's not actually gojo, it's one of his students using kenjaku's technique to take over his body to use his technique. i ask, then, what the FUCK was the point of writing gojo out of the story if gege's just going to bring him back in this unconventional way. not only does it just reintroduce this issue had in the first place of gege having an overpowered character he didn't know how to write around, but now they're basically like... yeah actually we do need gojo's power to finish this. like... that's not the students being stronger, that's just gojo again basically. and the editor even acknowledges this by referring to this as a revenge match!! and i really want to reiterate that i did NOT want gojo to come back. the damage has been done and i don't believe bringing him back would have fixed the damage gege did to his character. i wanted it to be a hallucination to signal sukuna is close to losing, and that his life has been so lonely and meaningless that when on death's door, he sees gojo. that would've been interesting and compelling!! but noooooo gege just has to pull some contrived, bullshit plot twist because that's what he loves to do

i have other gripes (treatment of female characters, pacing like i mentioned, tsumiki's non-existence as a character, poor character development of major characters overall, the over-use of character death to the point that it's become boringly predictable, poor world-building), but this is long enough and i think you get the idea that i have a lot of shit to talk abt this series.

anyway, my increasing dissatisfaction with jjk has negatively impacted my muse tbh, and that's honestly why my activity has been so sparse. i'm losing interest because something that used to bring me a lot of joy is honestly just making me frustrated more than anything else, and i think it's really sad because i do really love the characters, and at one point i did love the series. aw well. i still cling onto a tiny hope that gege is cooking for a great payoff, but idk...

[emblemxeno]

Whaaaaaat? You prefer Awakening and Fates characters dumb tropey characters over 3H's super deep and complex characters with dark gritty backstories?! I am truly shocked and appalled! (in case it wasn't clear, this is all sarcasm lol)

You're good lol 😭😭😭

But fr tho, I kinda think people lost the plot on how FE character writing is. In supports specifically, it's either pretty rudimentary, sad/dark, funny nonsense, or just emotionally rich in some way. 3H isn't really that different-or better-in that respect. I think people just get the faintest whiff of political intrigue and sad backstories (no matter how sloppy or Yikes they can seem in a meta perspective) and lose their shit.

Also because Fates was so divisive for being "anime weeb trash that lets you touch your waifu like a creep and FORCES you to marry your family members and has TROPEY CHARACTERS and HAS NO CONTINENT NAME OR TEH GOOD LORE" people honestly just took 3H and ran when it handed them building blocks in a sandbox.

And no shade to hardcore fans to 3H characters, cuz I also am a fan of a majority of the cast. But if I can be candid, I'd really rather have more Awakening and Fates-esque characters because it just feels like an extension of what FE character writing has been since FE6: the general fandom remembers each characters for specific things (hell that's why there's personality archetypes for the series) and the big fans of certain characters put the time and effort into them and are rewarded with more facets that others may not see!

Saizo for example, he's seen as overly serious and angry, and always seems to be talking about Ryoma. Lots of people write him off as just that. But his fans know about his backstory of losing his father and how he got his scar, how he's always suspicious of people due to his feelings regarding Mokushu and his status as a retainer, how he's a representative of Hoshido's more traditional and close minded perspectives (like you could see him as an actual example of toxic masculinity the way he's disrespectful towards women and so unwilling to express emotions aside from anger, for instance), etc.

That's just one example too! Tharja is the army therapist who begrudgingly starts to care about the Shepherds. Inigo/Laslow is super fucking contemplative about death and being separated from people and excessively fraternizes with everyone as a result. Rinkah can be seen as a meta commentary on supports with how she and her tribe don't like making meaningless friendships and she only starts being friendly at later ranks because of that. Lissa and Elise both serve as their family and friends' emotional rock, and keep people smiling and able to work. That's just the very tip of the iceberg.

And that's what makes FE good on its own merits. Characters are written to appeal to someone and that someone will respond in kind by loving them and appreciating all that is able to be offered with said character. I guess in a way, what I'm trying to say is 3H tries to appeal in multiple areas at once, and for as good as its character writing can be on its best day, it seem very spread thin and disingenuous as a result; characters have to have flaws, but also be able to be endeared and marriageable, but also involved in game lore in some way but also not essential so they can die/not be recruited with no issue, but also able to be appealing on the surface so as to incentivize recruitment, etc.

[sohypothetically]

Post 3: Cookies From Mellark's

It's time for another installment. And boy, is this one a doozy.

So pick up a snack and your beverage of choice, and join me as I revisit the memory of my next fic, Cookies From Mellark's! It's the fic you'll either love or totally despise.

FF.net

A03

This fic was my:

First contemporary AU.

First world building.

First longer fic. (it's about 60K words)

First non-canon fic.

First M for adult content.

First original characters.

First gay couple.

First description of major character death. (Mr. Mellark.)

First description of abuse.

November of 2012 I participated in Nanowrimo. It was a more niche thing then, without all of the fancy trappings (and the side of controversy) that it has today. My hubby, Doc (for those of you who don't know him), participated the year before and has every year since.

Cookies was written during that time. It's not great. But I hit the mark of 50K words, and it's not awful. It definitely moved the bar for me as a writer.

I got a lot of hate about this fic. People hated that Katniss calls Peeta "Peet". People hated that Katniss is awkward, standoffish, and obtuse. The said I wrote Katniss with no agency. I definitely had people say they wanted to toss their laptops on the floor just reading it. People despised what I did to Prim.

I've never deleted it.

I've never re-read it (nor do I ever, ever read the reviews).

Until today.

The good: See the firsts. I'm pretty proud that I finished it. The sense of humor here is fun. The food descriptions are many (although not as many as one of my later fics).

The bads: head jumping, some stilted dialogue. The descriptions of abuse don't thrill me. Katniss is absolutely obtuse, but she was taken mostly from canon. I can easily see how people hated my representation of Prim.

What I wanted was to build on an almost-fairytale beginning. The establishing shot prologue here is supposed to invoke the voiceover bit in stuff like Beauty and the Beast. There's supposed to be this feeling that Del Mar may be present day, but it's still this very idealized view (think A Cinderella story and the like) with archetypes and characters who are placed in a world where things are more black and white. Mrs. Everdeen bails on the girls, Mrs. Mellark is unnecessary harsh. Mr. Mellark dies. Prim idolizes her older sister, but feels a competitiveness (think 10 Things I Hate About You). It's not a happy world.

If you want a taste of this, check below the cut. It's a scene between Peeta and Haymitch and it's pretty funny.

Peet cleared his throat. "Hello, sir. I'm from Mellark's…"

"…Obviously. It says so on your shirt." The man pointed a shaky hand at the logo across the front of Peet's chest.

"I thought I would bring lunch over." Peet held the bags out as an offering and smiled his best customer service smile.

"Well aren't you the boy scout." The man leaned back and took a sip of something that was most definitely not water. He eyed the bags. "What did you bring?"

"Um, turkey and cheese panini, extra mustard, pickle on the side and brownie. A cheese…" Peet stopped as the man held up his hand first to stop him, then to take the bag. He took the bag and ripped it open, then bit into the sandwich.

With his mouth full, then man said, "Have a seat." Peet snuck a look at the door to the repair bays, wondering if Katniss was there.

"You're the youngest Mellark boy. What's your name? Bun, Cupcake, Loaf…" The man took another bite.

'Peeta. Everyone calls me Peet."

"Well, Peeta," He dragged out Peet's name for emphasis, "My name's Haymitch. This here is my place and Katniss is my responsibility. You think you can just waltz in here with sandwiches and I'm going to let you have a go at her? What makes you different than all of the other boys I've seen sniffing around?"

"Sir, I don't want to have a go at her. She's a friend." Peet's clear blue eyes clashed with stormy gray ones.

Haymitch stared at him for a moment, a mustard smear next to his lip. Then, he threw back his head and laughed. "How many times have you practiced that in front of the mirror? Does it work on other girls' parents? No – wait." He held up his hand to stop Peet from defending himself. "If I thought you were serious, I would tell you to get out of here right now - that you don't have the pluck for that firecracker of a girl. Now, try me again. Why are you here?" Haymitch bit into his brownie.

Peet swallowed. He stared past Haymitch to the wall behind him. Finally, he started speaking. "I've liked her for what seems like forever. Recently, she helped me. I mean, really helped me through something rough. I thought that I might be finally catching a break, like she might even be interested in me back. Even if she's not – interested in me, I mean – I'm here to help her through what could be a rough time for her: some of the guys at school, well, they have decided that Katniss deserves their attention. And I don't want her to get hurt like that."

He finally met Haymitch's eyes. Haymitch chewed thoughtfully. When he finished swallowing, he dapped his mouth daintily with a napkin. "I have responsibility for two teenage girls, which is a fate that should not be wished on any man. Katniss, she's especially challenging - if a girl ever needed a date, it's her. She talks about you a fair amount. I have to believe that means something in her girl-head. You seem like a nice guy – you even have a job - which is more than half the kids in this town. At the same time, I have her welfare to think of. You say she's involved in something at school?"

When Peet nodded, Haymitch continued, "As long as you can protect her, you have my support. You come to me if you get in over your head. Understood?

Peet nodded again, unsure what to say to Haymitch's speech.

Haymitch leaned back in his chair again. "And for God's sake, wear a condom!"

[walker-extended-universe]

In Another World

Relationship(s): Cordell Walker/Emily Walker, Geri Broussard/Hoyt Rawlins, Hoyt Rawlins & Emily Walker, Hoyt Rawlins/Emily Walker, August Walker & Emily Walker & Stella Walker

Tags/Warnings: Implied/Referenced Character Death, Major Character Death, Alternate Universe- Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe- Role Reversal, Grief/Mourning, Supportive Friends, Crimes & Criminals, Jail, Moving On, Falling in Love, Accidental Relationship, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending

Summary: What would've happened if Cordell and Geri had been the ones to die? Would Hoyt and Emily have found their way to each other? What would that have looked like?

Written for @angstober Day 31: Won't Forget

It was just supposed to be a simple raid. Sure, there was always a risk with his job; they all knew it. But Cordell always came back alright. Maybe he had a scratch or a bruise or, heaven forbid, a stab or a shot wound, but he always came back.

Maybe Emily had just grown naive enough to fool herself with pretty lies like that. Otherwise, that phone call may not have destroyed her so completely.

She tried to shove it down. There was so much for her to do. She had to make preparations for the funeral- his real funeral, not that pony show the county was putting on for their Fallen Ranger. She had to handle the contents of Cordell’s will and thank the Lord every day that she’d bugged him to keep it updated. She had to work with the life insurance company to make sure her family got what they were owed (not that it could replace Cordell). And she had to keep up a normal life on top of it all, make sure the kids got to school and kept up with their coursework- not to mention keep up with her own work.

She never realized how much she needed Cordell to get through her day. Everyone in their lives would joke that she was the one that held their family together, especially with how much his work took him away. Goodness knows how many fights they’d had about that. But Cordell was always the one that made her coffee in the morning and reminded her to take snacks when she had a busy day and might not be able to eat a full lunch. He was always the one that took care of the garden and made sure the weeds didn’t get out of control. He was always the one that kept her car topped up with gas and reminded her about oil changes. He was always the one that helped her sleep at night, his warm body and steady heartbeat a comfort that she couldn’t get a decent night’s sleep without.

How was she supposed to live the rest of her life like this?

“Mornin’, Em! I made pancakes.”

Emily smiled and brought down some plates. “Thanks Hoyt. The kids will love it.”

“So will you.”

She never expected Hoyt to be such a big support. Maybe she shouldn’t have been surprised; he’d been Cordell’s best friend and one of her closest ones for many years. She supposed it was just easy to forget what a good friend he could be when he was around since he spend so much of his time away.

He wasn’t everything she needed, but he helped. He made sure the kids got to school and packed her lunches and kept the house in order- things she felt too frazzled and lost in her grief to care about.

A small part of her felt bad for taking up his time like this. She knew Geri wanted time with her own boyfriend. But Hoyt was insistent on helping and Geri never said anything to her about it so she wasn’t going to rock the boat. It was nice having him around.

Maybe it was a little strange to have him stay the night when he had someone else to go home to, but she couldn’t help but feel comfort in not being totally alone when she couldn’t sleep.

There was nothing wrong with a friend helping out a friend, right?

—-------------

She was never supposed to be involved. Hoyt tried so hard to keep the line between his private life and his work clear and firm. He never talked about his friends or family with his more dangerous cohorts, and he definitely never told them about Geri.

But it wasn’t enough. He didn’t do enough to protect her. And now Geri was being rolled out of her own home in a body bag.

Hoyt had been the one to find her. He came to the house early to make Geri some breakfast after he made some for Emily and the kids. He felt a little bad for spending so much time over there, even if he did have a good reason. He just wanted to do something nice to remind her he still cared. He’d even bought flowers on his way over.

Now those flowers were in the trash and he was relegated to the porch while various LEOs trampled in and out of Geri’s house. His thumb hovered over Emily’s contact in his phone.

He should call her. She deserved to know her best friend was dead. But how was he supposed to tell her? It had only been about 6 months since they lost Cordell. How was he supposed to tell her she lost her best friend now too? And how was he supposed to explain that it was all his fault? She’d slam the door in his face next time he came over for sure. How could she ever stand to look at him again?

“I can tell her if you want.”

Hoyt jerked and looked up at the man who had apparently materialized next to him. “Larry,” he greeted. “Don’t worry. I’ll tell her. You had to tell her about Cordell; it’s my turn.”

“I don’t mind,” he said. “I know…. I know it’s not easy.”

“I’ll tell her,” Hoyt repeated. “It’s the least I can do.”

After everything he’s done. After everything that’s happened. This is the least he can do.

—------------------

Two funerals within a year. That was a new record for Emily. First her soulmate, then her best friend. Both taken far too soon in such violent ways. She felt like the unfortunate main character of a soap opera.

It didn’t help that Hoyt was avoiding her. After the call where he told her what happened to Geri, he’d barely spoken two words to her and he hadn’t come by the house at all. It hurt that he was leaving her alone at a time like this, though she could hazard a guess as to why.

She didn’t get a chance to confront him about it until after the funeral. Everyone came to the Walker ranch for a chance to rest and eat and somehow, they ended up in the kitchen alone.

“It’s not your fault, you know,” she said, grabbing his arm before he had a chance to leave her. Again.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Hoyt said. But he didnt’ pull away.

“I know what you’re thinking, Hoyt,” she said. “And it’s not your fault. I don’t blame you and Geri wouldn’t either. Because it’s not your fault.”

“We both know it is, Em.”

“It’s really not.”

Hoyt wrenched his arm out of her grip. “It is!” he whisper-yelled. “It damn well is! You know it and I sure as hell know it! I don’t even see how you can say it’s not!”

“Hoyt-”

“I’m the one that worked with those bastards! I pissed them off! I gave them a reason to come after me! I gave them a reason to hurt her!”

“Maybe but that’s not-” Emily glanced out of the kitchen to make sure no one was watching and then dragged him out to the back porch.

“I don’t know why you’re even trying to have this conversation,” Hoyt griped. “Everyone in there blames me.”

“That’s not true and you know it,” Emily snapped. “I don’t blame you. The kids don’t blame you. Neither does Abby.” Bonham probably did but he’d always been a little rough on Hoyt so it wasn’t worth arguing over. “The only one blaming you is you and you need to stop it because I-” she let out a shuddering breath. “I can’t lose you too.”

Hoyt deflated and sat on the porch bench, head in his hands.

Emily sat next to him and hugged him. “You didn’t kill her,” she whispered. “Maybe you didn’t make the smartest choices but you didn’t pull that trigger. You did everything you could to keep her out of harm’s way.” Emily hugged him tighter. “I know this hurts a lot right now and it’s going to be a long time before you forgive yourself, but I’ll be here until you do.”

Hoyt said nothing. He just quietly sobbed into his hands. And Emily sat by him until it was time for them to go back inside.

—-------------

It took less than a week for Hoyt to decide on his next move. Maybe Geri’s death wasn’t his fault entirely, but he had a part to play in it. It was time for him to start making up for his mistakes.

“Hoyt, you really don’t have to do this.”

He glared up at James. “It’s the right thing to do, Captain. The only thing I can do right now. It’s about time I start taking this life seriously.”

James sighed. “Alright. I can’t guarantee you’ll get full immunity but with the information you’re willing to hand over, you’ll get a good deal.”

“I’m not doing this to get myself out of trouble, Cap. I just want a little justice.”

James nodded. “Right. Just make sure you leave the work to the justice system, alright? You’ve got people that would like to see you walk out of prison again one day.”

“I know.” As much as he’d love to shank the bastards that did this to Geri (he had a pretty good idea of who exactly pulled the trigger too), he wouldn’t do that to Emily. They were all each other had now. “Now, how do we do this? I’m not used to actually giving up information during these things…”

“Well, it’s a lot like normal, except you’re actually going to answer the questions I ask you. Are you ready?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

—----------------

Hoyt ended up getting one year in prison. It would’ve been much longer for all the charges brought against him, but giving up his cohorts helped reduce his sentence by a lot.

On the day of his release, Emily was waiting outside the prison for him. The rest of the family was putting together a little surprise party for him at the ranch. She smiled as he walked out of those doors for the last time and held out her arms for a hug.

It felt good, knowing he would be around for more of these.

She pulled back, sliding her hands down his arms. “How does it feel? Being out for good?” she asked.

Hoyt hummed. “Weird. But good. Really, really good.”

She smiled. “Good. Come on; everyone’s waiting for you. Yes, even Bonham. He’s been working the grill all day.”

Hoyt chuckled. “Now that, I have to see.” He squeezed her hand. “Thanks, Em.”

“Of course; what are friends for?”

—----------

Hoyt hadn’t been expecting a full on welcome back party. But, considering how well he knew the Walkers, he probably should have.

It wasn’t a big bash, just an intimate affair with the family. It was nice to see them like this. Happy. Smiling. Laughing.

There were two people missing but Hoyt was in a good enough mood to overlook that for now.

Emily pulled him aside as the party wound down a bit. “I got you a present,” she said, putting a small box in his hands.

“Aw, Em, you shouldn’t have. I don’t need anything.”

She rolled her eyes. “Just open it, Rawlins.”

He chuckled and opened the box. Inside, there was a set of keys and a set of papers. He glanced at Emily before skimming the papers. He didn’t understand everything but he saw the LLC the Side Step was listed under. “Em?”

“You don’t have to accept it,” she said. “But I think this would be a good start for your new life. I’m managing it right now but it’s not something I can do forever, even with the help I have, and…. I think it’s what Geri would want.”

He lifted the keys from the box and gingerly held them in his hand. “What do you mean you’re managing it?” he asked, mostly to distract the conversation from himself.

Emily nodded. “Geri left it to me. Well, technically she left it for any potential future children but I was the secondary. I’ve been handling the admin with help from Abby and some of the more experienced workers but…. I think it’d be good for you.”

Hoyt hummed. “Are you sure? I’m not exactly a businessman. Spent most of my life doing pretty much the opposite.”

“Yeah, but you’ve left that behind for good. And you need a job anyway.” She shrugged. “Maybe this is just nepotism, but I think you’d be good at it. You know your alcohol, you’re a good salesman and you know how to get along with business partners, and you’re a lot smarter than you give yourself credit for. And you know we’ll all help you if you need it. I know you can do this. If you want to.”

Hoyt closed his hand around the keys. “Well, I don’t have as much confidence as you do but…. I’ll give it a shot.”

Emily smiled and hugged him. “I knew you’d love it.”

He wrapped his arms around her, a warmth blossoming inside him that he hadn’t felt in a long time.

—------

Somehow, in the middle of everything, they both missed that they were falling in love all over again.

It was only natural that they grew closer, of course. Hoyt had officially moved in with her after he got out of jail and she took time off work to help him take over the Side Step. Spending almost all hours of the day with someone would only naturally lead to them growing closer. And they were already quite close to begin with, so it really wasn’t that far of a leap.

Maybe that was why neither of them noticed it until they both took the plunge. 

It happened on the one year anniversary of Hoyt going straight. Emily had insisted on doing a little celebration but Hoy didn’t want to make a big deal of it so it was just the two of them at the Side Step after closing. “I still think you’re downplaying how big of a deal this is,” Emily said in between sips of beer. “I mean, a whole year without being in jail is a record in and of itself. And I don’t think you’ve been in one place for this long since we graduated high school. You should be proud of that.”

He shrugged. “I’m just catching up with everyone else. And I think you are downplaying how much you helped me get here. If anyone should be celebrated tonight, it’s you.”

“Well, maybe we can both be celebrated.” Emily clinked her glass against his before pushing off from the table and going over to the jukebox.

“What are you doin, Em’?”

She picked a song and fed a coin into the machine. “We’re celebrating, aren’t we?” She sauntered back over as the music played. “Dance with me, Rawlins.”

Hoyt chuckled and stood up, taking her hand and twirling her. “Who am I to deny such a polite request?”

They were just playing around. Nothing wrong with a dance between friends. But when the right song is playing and you’ve got a little too much alcohol in your system, sometimes you realize the man you're dancing with is more than just a friend to you. So maybe you put your arms around his neck and get up on your toes and kiss him. And maybe he kisses you back. And maybe you do a lot more kissing and very little talking for the rest of the night and you don’t even really think about what it all means until it’s morning.

So, Emily made breakfast, sent the kids off to school, and cornered Hoyt before he went to work. “We need to talk.”

“Too early to talk,” Hoyt muttered into his coffee.

“Too bad, we need to.” She pushed him into a chair and stood in front of him. “We need to talk about last night.”

“You mean about the fact that we kissed and probably would’ve fucked if we’d had a little more alochol in our system.”

Sometimes Emily appreciated Hoyt’s bluntness. Now was not one of those times. “Well- Yes. We need to talk about that and decide what happens next.”

He sighed and put his coffee mug down. “Look, I get it. You regret it. I’m sorry too. Now we can drop it and pretend it never happened.”

“Hoyt- That’s not what I was trying to say!” Emily crossed her arms. “First of all, I haven’t regretted kissing a boy since Rodney in 8th grade and we both know that wasn’t a kiss I initiated. Secondly, I’m not sorry at all for kissing you last night. I’m just sorry it happened the way it did. I- We needed to talk first.”

“About what?”

“About wh- About us! About our history and what this means! I mean- We- We’ve been friends forever, you dated my best friend, I married yours! And what does this mean for our future? How are the kids going to react? Or Abby and Bonham? Or-”

“Breath, darlin’.” Hoyt smothered any other words she had to say in a hug and she couldn’t help but melt into it. He rubbed her back until she calmed down a bit.

“First off, I don’t regret it either. Second, I don’t know how everyone’s gonna react. But I don’t think I really care. I think we do what’s best for us, Em.”

She sighed. “I mean- maybe we don’t need their approval or whatever but we still have to tell them. And… it might be weird.”

Hoyt kissed the top of her head. “So let it be weird. I believe some wonderful, beautiful, smart woman once said that ‘things don’t have to be good to be good’….”

Emily laughed. “Did she now? Tell me more….”

They would have to tell everyone. But they could do that later. It was nice, just being in this bubble where they were the only things that mattered.

—-------

They had to tell the kids first. Emily was adamant about that. “We need to know if they’re okay with it first and figure out what to do if they’re not.” It honestly hadn’t occurred to Hoyt that they wouldn’t be okay with it, but now he was terrified of that happening.

They decided to just talk to the kids one night after dinner. Nothing special, nothing crazy, no need to freak them out.

“Is something going on?” August asked as they moved to the living room. “You two are being weird.”

“Nothing bad happened,” Emily said gently. “We just have something we want to talk to you about. Please, sit.”

The kids sat on the couch, watching them apprehensively.

They’d talked a bit about what to say, but none of the words seemed right. Hoyt was planning on just letting Emily take the lead on this one.

“Well…” she started. “You guys know your Uncle Hoyt and I have been friends for a long time-”

“Just friends. Real good friends.”

Emily side eyed him but continued. “We’ve gotten…closer over the last couple years. Losing your dad and Aunt Geri…. It was hard. But we supported each other.”

On impulse, Hoyt grabbed her hand. It was half a way to hide how his were shaking and half a way to show his support. And maybe hint as to where this conversation was going.

“What I’m trying to say is… A lot has happened and… We’ve decided to start dating.”

There was a long moment of silence that stretched on far too long. Hoyt squeezed Emily’s hand, praying this went over well.

“Is…. Is that what you needed to tell us?” Stella asked.

Emily nodded. “I know this is weird for you guys but-”

Stella interrupted her. “Mom, you know…. We don’t really care. You’re happier with Hoyt than you’ve been since Dad…. And we’re happy for you.”

August nodded. “Yeah. You make each other happy and… we’re just happy to see you happy.”

“And we kind of already figured you were,” Stella added.

“What?”

“Well, yeah, I mean, you live together-”

“-and if you’re not here at the house you’re both usually at the Side Step-”

“-and you’re both kind of touchy with each other-”

“-which we’re totally cool with,” August finished.

Well. At least they didn’t have to worry about that. “I guess you should stop calling me ‘Uncle’ Hoyt then.”

Emily rolled her eyes. “Don’t make it weird.”

—----------

They had the approval of the family. But there were two more people they needed to talk to.

“Hey, Cordi.” Emily sat in front of his headstone. She picked a flower from a nearby patch of wildflowers nearby and set it on top. “It’s been a while since I came here. I’ve been busy.”

She sighed. “I may as well just come out with it.Hoyt and I…. We’re seeing each other. Romantically. Never thought I’d say that,” she said with a chuckle. “But… here we are.”

She  traced a pattern in the grass. “I know I don’t have to ask you for your blessing or anything but… It just seemed like the right thing to do.” Emily kissed her hand, then pressed it to the top of Cordell’s grave. “I love you. So much. And I miss you so, so much. I’m not- I could never forget you I just… I need to move on.”

A gust of wind blew past her, pushing the flower off of the headstone and into her lap.

She chuckled. “I guess that’s you telling me to get on with it, huh?”

She should’ve known he would understand.

“Goodby, Cordi.”

[allandoflimbo]

Ashens (Part 36)

Summary: She falls in love with Bucky Barnes from the moment she sees him. Bucky, still in love with a woman from his past, hates Y/N and plans to make her life miserable. To both their dismay, they are assigned together to go undercover into The Capitol for six months. There, they develop a heartbreaking friend with benefits agreement. Dystopian.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Rating: M for Mature, E for explicit. Enemies to lovers trope, sharing a bed trope, friends with benefits trope, temporarily unrequited love, heavy and angry sex. Major character death, mentions of suicide. Bucky and Reader are toxic in this but also very much in love. Heavy on the angst, and very strong language. 

++ +

Full story here:

ASHENS MASTERLIST

The next morning came around, promising new beginnings and better health. He could feel it the second he woke up. He no longer felt fatigued or aching.

Later in the shower, Daisy's shower, he noticed the green in his arm was now gone too.

Stepping back into his guest room, he reaches across the bed to grab the clean grey t-shit. He slides it on and then makes his way out of the bedroom. What he doesn't expect to see at door is a pair of little eyes looking up at him.

"Hey, Sophie." He says gently with a soft smile.

"Mommy says breakfast is ready. Bloose is aweady at the table." She pulls on one of the toy rabbit's ears and walks away.

"Thank you. I'll be right there."

Bucky takes in a deep breath before he makes his away into the main area.

Just like Sophie had said, Bruce is at the dining table eating what looks like a bowl of cereal. mundane.

He doesn't know how to feel about it.

Daisy looks up from her own plate, mid conversation with Bruce, and meets Bucky's eyes.

She smiles.

"James. Please sit." She motions towards the chair next to her and across from Bruce, "I made us some eggs and bacon."

Eggs and Bacon.

Bucky clears his throat as he pulls out his chair and sits down. He eyes the abundance of food in front of him with a noticeable scowl.

Daisy frowns.

"You alright?" Bucky huffs. He meets Bruce's gaze.

"How are you feeling? Better than yesterday? The green was mostly gone yesterday." Bruce says.

"A lot better. I think it's out of me. The green is completely gone. I feel great." Bucky says quickly.

He just wanted to go home.

"That's great. You should eat." His eyes flicker to Daisy's once more.

He looks down at the plate of eggs in front of him and takes a spoon full.

They were pretty good.

"Are you sure you're ready to come with us?" Bucky asks once he swallows all his food.

"We are. I already spoke to Sophie. This place is not safe for my family, or many other families for that matter. I know that. I also need to be with my son as soon as I can. I want to find refuge and start over with the right people. Whatever you guys decide to do, I want to be there along the way. If you let me."

"This town you told us about — Doma—" Bruce starts quietly, dabbing the edge of his lips with a napkin, "just how certain are you of this place?"

"Completely and faithfully certain. I was with them on their talks. I know the ins and outs of it all. That's how I knew how to un-bug everything so me and Sophie could be safe and undetected for since Ashen's death."

Bucky runs a hand up his face, and decides to sharply change the subject.

"Are we good to leave tonight since I'm feeling better?" He asks.

"Buck—" Bruce starts.

"I need to get back. As nice as this," he motions to the table in front of him dramatically, "is, I need to be with our friends. We need to be back at camp, planning what to do next—"

"We will, tomorrow morning."

"Tonight. I need to be with my girl." He says.

"And you will be. Tomorrow."

The rest of the day goes by slowly. Bucky hates it. He just wants it to end so he can go back to you. Before sundown, they start packing. Bucky tells Daisy they should only bring a backpack, and they pack accordingly. After their things are set to go for the next day, Daisy starts prepping some tea before bed.

"How far along did you say she was? In her pregnancy I mean." She asks as she pours the hot liquid into the cup.

He frowns. He looks over at her to see the good light of the island fixture illuminating her face.

Bucky clears his throat.

"We think maybe two or three months, but we aren't too sure, why?"

A strange look is on her face but she just nods.

"I'm not sure if it would be the same in her case, but when I was pregnant, because of the serum, it made the fetus develop twice as fast in the womb. When I had given premature birth, at almost five months, they said that Ashens was the size of a nine month old developed baby."

She hesitantly meets his eyes and Bucky feels his stomach drop.

"You think she'd go into labor sooner?"

"If the baby has the serum too, because of you, yes."

Bucky didn't even think about that. His baby having his serum. He doesn't have time to process any of what Daisy was saying before the pouring stops.

"Come with me." She says.

She leads him into her bedroom,

She flicks on the lights and Bucky watches as she walks over to two backpacks on the floor.

"I know you said only pack one but I hope you could allow an extra carry on." She hands him the smaller beige backpack and motions for him to open it.

He does.

The emotions that fill him are one of gratitude as he sees some spare baby clothing, a baby bottle, and a baby blanket.

"Dasiy..."

"There should be four onesies in there. Infant size to about a year old. Hopefully that will hold you guys over long enough until we are at Doma."

"I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything. These are necessities. I wished I had diapers but I haven't had to buy any in a few years. I included a small rag in there. Maybe that's enough. I'm sorry if it's not —" she's cut off as he brings her in for a tight hug.

"Thank you, Daisy."

[femperials]

spit it out

the opening for this episode is SO sexy and cinematic. it’s insane to watch this now that the show is finished, but i’m trying to stop saying that every time i watch something from any episode from season one.

fallon having (avoided having) a criminal record was such a good character piece. i’ve said it before but i think taking her from a spoiled but ‘edgy, sometimes reckless smart girl who went through different phases and styles’ to like… ‘knows she’s pretty and dresses relatively fancily and works too hard’ was such a weird loss but possibly one that was necessary in later seasons to make room for everything else that the show wanted to try to cram into each episode. it’s an interesting thought that not even the main character, fallon, was spared from the personality chopping block over the years, despite having maximum screen time and the least complicated plot to explore - which you’d usually think would mean more room for deeper character lore. but i digress, i just mourn the fallon who got black out drunk, should have had a dui, stripped in public, and was still a brilliant student who preferred spending time with people who interested her rather than people of status that we only got a single teasing glimpse of.

this showing of steven being equally as manipulative as his family while trying to make sure claudia doesn’t get the carringtons into any real trouble with her statements to the police is absolutely unreal. it’s one of my favorite traits of his that was so hard to see slip away from the plots - though james mackay did such an incredible job making such clear, interesting, and thought-out choices with every little scrap of screentime that he was eventually narrowed down to that i’m trying not to be mad about it. there’s a lot to say about the different ways that we see instances of both blake and alexis show up in steven and fallon differently (as well as adam, and amanda much later on), but i’ll probably save the majority of that for another time.

the connections in this show that blake has that just show up here and there sometimes read as ‘convenient’ to parts of the audience but i always thought it was realistic. the first season especially, but others as well, did a great job of making a sexy show about billionaires and business, injecting in romance and friendship without even having to try to humanize the billionaire class. the audience wasn’t necessarily always capable of catching onto the fact that they weren’t meant to be good people that sometimes got into scandals, but that’s a bout of shit talking for another day.

a good example of this is the way that the characters don’t seem to understand how INSANELY cruel of a move it was to force cristal into making the pr statement after matthew’s death was announced. the only two possibilities are that they all agreed because they genuinely didn’t understand how it would be difficult, which is a sign of something deeper i don’t even want to get into, or they did it as a punishment for being involved with him at all, which i think is objectively even worse.

sam is so funny in the awkward breakfast meeting scene too. it always feels like rafael hits his comedic marks better when the writers weren’t trying so hard.

“you spin scandal for a living which is a valuable skillset for a carrington” sounds like a bit of a soundbite but i love how they slowly developed that to be cristal’s ‘thing’ in the family as she fell deeper and deeper into being one of them. it makes me mourn the loss of both cristal 1.0 and nathalie kelley as a part of the show because of how incredibly she did with balancing the character’s desire to stick to her own morals and being corrupted. (which is extra crazy considering that nathalie thinks she phoned it in. x x)

they gave culhane and fallon the SEXIEST little foreplay scenes in this show and every time i rewatch i have to giggle because i was seriously punching the air as a jeff and fallon shipper at the time. until we got our insanely raunchy office sex - though that victory obviously ended in that special kind of cw-incest-obsessed heartbreak that we all know.

blake’s blatant abuse towards cristal is never more apparent than it is during the matthew-specific plot. it doesn’t go away by any means after the plot wraps up but it’s definitely at it’s strongest during this early era which makes the leap to the end of the season, when cristal tries to leave him and he refuses, much more plausible. the destruction of a woman’s reputation and emotional stability and frankly sanity for a power move is firmly cemented at the top of blake’s worst (personal) plots and the fact that it’s done in secret while demanding the others (namely fallon) treat cristal better just adds to how clandestine the abuse was.

there’s a part in the last 15-ish minutes of the episode where jeff phones fallon to tell her that he’s being investigated for murder because blake sicked his pocket-cop onto him. blake does this to mess with jeff’s business reputation (and additionally fallon’s new move with him) but fallon doesn’t seem to realize the implication of her father being able to call the police on a black man and make him a murder suspect on a whim. it felt like season 1 was ready to talk about things like this but was trying to ease their way into it and then just gave up.

lastly, fallon blowing someone at a funeral is so… chef’s kiss. (i think there’s something to be said about how the fallon vs. cristal fight could have had a clear winner if it had gone on longer than what we’d gotten in the one season and why i think it would have been fallon but i feel like that’s part of a long-winded post about season 1 fallon & cristal).

[whirlybirbs]

FEVER-DREAM    ;    echo/reader 

summary: echo is fine-tuning his new prosthesis. you have experience, you help. unspoken feelings are acted on. adoration blooms. you learn what mesh’la means.

word count: 3k

pairing: echo / f!reader

tags: mutual pining, lots of tender looks, victorian-era hand-touching sluttiness, echo is a gentle soul, reader is head over heels, a touch of ptsd mention, set on ord mantell, mention of our boy fives, in this house we love assistive devices, enough sexual tension to power the death star

a/n: this is me round-house kicking the bad batch writers in the throat because they made echo cosplay a droid — but, also because this man deserves to be treated as more than a means to a mission’s end. majority of you know i am ~bitter~ (understatement of the century) of tbb’s plot/design/writing. but echo has been a favorite from the original days... so have some very soft fic.

i reference character redesigns by @nibeul​ in this piece — please go peep them here, and some updated character spreads here! they’re really beautiful and add a phenomenal layer of storytelling to the existing designs that’s lacking. nibuel’s art and writing is lovely. please give them a follow — i can’t rec their work enough. 

“How does it feel?”

The words are nearly whispered; it’s clear you didn’t want to startle him, and Echo can feel the pinch in his brow soften at your sudden appearence in the doorway. 

His bunk, at the back of the Havoc Marauder, is small — the space itself even more so. There’s a makeshift partition, hooked together with spare parts and meant to offer a bit of privacy on the cramped vessel. Its slate grey color has faded, and the edges have become tattered in the cycles of use. 

When Echo pulls his dark eyes up from his work, you’re leaning against the frame — your expression is earnest.

For a moment, the once-ARC Trooper is quiet. 

He wonders if he’ll ever get used to your attention. Each and every time, it sends him into a spiral; his heart catches as he inhales and tries to push down the warm stir in his gut. The sight of you is enough, nowadays, to melt Echo’s well-maintained irritability. His attention is stolen from his ever-present pain, if only for a bit.

There are plenty of days where he misses the old him — the wide-eyed, eager ARC Trooper who had his brothers by his side. His real brothers. Hevy, Cutup, Droidbait... Fives. 

Fuckin’ hell, Fives was probably staring down at him now laughing. 

No matter what changes, you’re still shit with the ladies, vod’ika. 

In a way he hasn’t fully admitted to himself, you make him feel like himself again. Like... Like some shiny cadet, on leave and distracted by the promises of pretty smiles passing-by. It’s good.

This makes him feel... good. 

He flexes, and his right hand — the new, gunmetal durasteel cyberized-prosthesis — closes into a tight fist. It’s taken him a bit, but the feeling isn’t so foreign now. It’s still... slow. Slower than he’s used to, but you’d mentioned it may take some time. The phantom feelings get better, too. All in all, it’s a good thing.

Your own hand, your left, glimmers back in the same gunmetal color.

(Echo had never pressed you about the missing limb — not until one day, in Cid’s, you’d joined him in a quiet corner. You’d spilled your drink and a complaint about getting the star-cherry syrup out of the joints had slipped out. Echo had laughed; a real laugh, the sort that was so rare coming from him, it had you staring at him as if he’d hung ever star in the sky. 

Can I ask how it happened? he’d said, breaking the heavy silence when your eyes never left his.

The Pykes, you’d said, and that was enough.)

“I haven’t, uh... Haven’t gotten the sensory calibration right yet.”

Then, his prosthesis cramps. His fingers go rigid, and Echo curses sharply as he reaches around his forearm to quickly reboot the appendage. It goes slack, then hums alive once more.

You wince.

You’re slow to move into the room — and you settle atop one of the crates Echo had stolen from the belly of the ship, an old Mantell Mix shipping container. You’re mindful to set his datapad aside, to not disturb his space too much. Before you reach for his hand, however, you lift your chin and open your hands in your lap.

“May I?” you ask, just as soft as before.

Echo feels small under your gaze.

Truth be told, you’re doing more than just... asking. You’re taking him in — appreciating him. It’s a habit that’s grown more and more apparent to not only himself, but the others.

In recent rotations, Echo has let his hair grow out — not long, but the once close buzz he’d kept has begun to curl at the top. Not entirely dissimilair to how it was before the Citadel. The dermal implants, the ones the Techno Union installed in order to parse the nuerological data in his head, stand out against his warm-colored skin. 

His usual AJ^6-inspired headpiece is resting on his bunk.

That damn thing.

A neccesary tool. One that, given the amount of user data Tech had procured when working on modifying the implant, Echo found himself immediately distrusting. It wasn’t as if the AJ^6 cyborg construct had a beautiful track record, and frankly, Echo would like to keep his personality in tact, thank you very much. There were plenty of days he felt machine enough. 

It wasn’t often you saw him without the headset; you knew it made linking in via his scomp easier to handle, it made the visualization of data transfers as easy as breathing. For Echo, it was a part of his vast kit, an important tool. For you, seeing him without it bubbles up a bit of a smile.

Echo catches it.

His eyes narrow playfully.

He looks... well. You — hell, are there words for it? For the way the sight of him makes you feel? It’s like there’s a world full of potential there, a thousand words unsaid, and feelings that have steeped in the warmth of longing gazes and half-there touches.

You’re still looking up at him, knees bent on the crate.

You blink, realizing you’ve been caught staring — not for the first time and certainly not for the last. In the beginning, it had left a sour taste in Echo’s mouth. But, now... Well, it stokes a sort of pride in his chest that he hangs onto. 

It never gets easier to recover from — certainly not when Echo smirks. He moves to allow you to take his prosthesis into your lap. The gesture is gentle; your fingers cradle the firm yet pliable metal.

“What?” he asks. His voice, low and rough and warm, is tinted with amusement.

“Nothing,” you say vaguely with a shrug — as if that’s supposed to explain any part of your enamored stare. Your attention moves to the prosthesis.

“Nothing?” he asks, moving to thumb his left ear with his free hand with a dash of nervousness. A habit. Echo tilts his head as his fingers brush the cochlear implant there. The panel rests neatly against the side of his head, a small rounded-off square. The bite of self-consciousness has dwindled around you — but still, it creeps back up every now and again.

The Corporal’s brows knot playfully as you turn his new hand over in your lap; you’re admiring the upgraded feel, the more seamless panelling in comparison to your own. Echo watches your lashes flutter in silent thought.

Then:

“You’re a terrible liar, you know.”

You blink slowly at the hand, swallow down your sudden sheepishness and ignore his gaze. You bite back the smile digging into your cheeks. “Maybe.”

“Do I have something on my face?” he asks suddenly, and you look up.

A baited trick. He’s smiling. 

The warm sort — the sort reserved for you and for Omega. The two souls that hold a piece of his heart, with all its ticking valves and electric timed pulses. There are machinisms that keep him alive, and then there is you. Your wide-eyed expression melts, giving way to the sort of smile he’s tried to memorize over and over. It’s the same smile that has warded off that reoccuring nightmare of the night on the tarmac at the Citadel, the same smile that has pulled him through the grit of phantom pains.

“What—” a sudden laugh bursts from your chest, “What is that supposed to mean?”

“You were staring, mesh’la,” he rumbles out as a reminder, enjoying the fact he’s suddenly become the center of your attention. Echo leans back, his boot toeing yours. You nudge it back. Your face feels hot. You ignore his pointedly teasing look with a roll of your eyes.

The nickname started a few weeks ago. You haven’t asked what it means — no, for now it’s meaning hangs in the balance. Untouched but there. The affection the word carries makes your heart feel heavier and unbelievably full.

“Bad habit,” you chirp back, looking up at him through your lashes.

His laugh is warm.

“Maybe not.”

“No,” you say quietly; your voice is soft as your eyes bounce across his face, tracing the lines of his face with your gaze, “I don’t think it is.”

There’s a silence that slips between you — a comfortable one. It’s heavier than before. That has begun to happen recently, especially with the petal-soft utterance of mesh’la becoming more and more frequent. You hold his gaze. Echo lets out a soft, contented sigh.

Then, you remember the task at hand.

You clear your throat.

“Uh... The access panel I’m looking for,” you say slowly as your raise your finger to point to your own arm, “It’s on your bicep.”

Echo blinks. He clears his own throat before looking down — he hadn’t even noticed that access panel. That could explain the jarring miscommunication stalling the limb. This model had more bells and whistles than he initally realized. 

Better than a fuckin’ scomp link, that’s for sure.

Wordlessly, Echo makes room on his bunk. You move to settle beside him, your bent leg resting aginst his hip as you half-straddle the bed; your other knee brushes his thigh — and Echo tries to sit still. You’re close, now. 

“Is it okay if...?” you trail off, fingers tugging on the short sleeve of his blacks; you pause until Echo offers a curt nod. You catch him swallow. You push onward, fingers nimbly rolling the fabric up over his broad bicep. 

Echo steals a glance your way as your fingers pass across a slip of his bare skin. 

In his lap, both his hands twitch.

He’s no small man. Lean and athletic, Echo is built like a soldier. Omega had said once that Echo was an ARC Trooper, one of the best of the best. You believed every bit of it, and you’d hung on her words when she’d rambled on about ARC training, about Kamino, and about who Echo was before you knew him. It was all in the past, though. That Echo is a part of this Echo but... They’re different men. He’s been changed by the things that have happened.

You don’t press him on the details. 

In time, they’re slipped into conversation here and there — between the here and now.  

In the beginning, when you’d found yourself amongst the crew of the Havoc Marauder — be it for a simple job on Cid’s behalf — Echo had hardly paid you a moment of attention, though you admit you’d been curious from the start. It had taken three jobs for you to finally see his face. Then began the slow and gradual bonding over catching joints, grating plates, and hardware updates. His legs, your arm. Two pieces of a pair.

Now, he has this. A beautiful new upgrade — something he’s wanted for a long time. A part of his old self is back, in a way.

You liked that it was more than just a tool. That, in having this piece of his body back, he felt like more than a tool. More than a scomp link. 

After all, he is a man — a... a very handsome man. One whose proximity is sort of distracting you, again, from the task at hand.

“The panel here,” you say as you slowly press on the seam that enables the settings panel to be revealed; you’re mindful to explain, “It controls sensory outputs, as well as synchonized synaptic commands. The panel on my forearm does the same to my hand, yours is just... well, you’ve got the new and improve version.”

Echo ducks his head as you work, watching you from the corner of his eye. “Feeling a bit jealous, mesh’la?”

“Maybe,” you breathe out with a smile. 

Then, you lift your eyes. You intended to see that he was still comfortable, but instead you come face to face with the Corporal. His nose nearly brushes yours when you lift you chin, completely dragged in by the closeness shared.

There’s a beat of tension. Echo’s mouth goes dry.

You fingers pause. You swallow hard. “How... uh, how does it feel?”

Echo tightens his grip, then releases. His breath tickles your cheeks. His eyes, a deep, warm brown, flit from your eyes to your mouth, and then back. His voice is a croak. 

“...Same as before.”

You tinker with a dial, eyes never leaving his; your voice is above a whisper. “And now?”

It’s immediate. Like a rush of cold air up his arm — and on instinct, Echo’s hand twitches. His fingers grip the fabric of his blacks, along his thigh, and... he feels it. The smooth, stretch of the material. It’s... it feels like a lot. His fingertips, metallic and cyberized, tingle. It’s distracting.

He can feel. 

His hand is slow. It moves across to bridge the space between you. His pointer finger settles on the curve of your knee; the feeling of your tactical pants beneath his fingertip is ignored, instead he chases the heat of your body.

Your breath catches at the touch. 

Echo’s face is turned to you, but... his attention has settled on his hand. His palm then sweeps across your thigh. He follows the curve, soaks in the feeling. You’re frozen in place, beating back the desperate sound of appreciation that threatens to be pulled from your throat. The touch is... more than welcomed. 

The closeness itself is making you dizzy.

Then, Echo turns — and the warm, durasteel-plated palm finds your cheek.

Your skin is hot. 

“Is this okay, mesh’la?” he whispers, words riding on a quiet exhale — the sort that make you feel... well, you don’t even have words for the way he makes you feel. Echo is... kind, honest, and loyal. Above all else, he’s gentle. Despite it all, despite every bit of horror he’d been put through, he’d never lost sight of the importance of a gentle hand. Especially now in a moment as intimate as this. It coaxes you closer.

You lean into the cybernetic attachment, cheek resting in his palm. You nod, then, with eyes eager to take in every bit of this moment.

He chuckles at the enthusiasm. Echo’s thumb, deft and smooth, then traces the line of your lower lip.

The feeling is... the gnawing pain that he’s felt for nearly a year has melted. Finally, the itch has been scratched in his brain and the hollow ache of his bones is gone. It’s relief, and comfort, and excitement and all these beautiful things — and you. 

You’re stuck — you don’t want to move, you won’t move. He’s rooted you completely, and when his other hand — the calloused and warm one of flesh and blood — finds it’s spot along your thigh, you swallow a lovesick sigh that would only exaserbate your desperation. 

Your mouth is moving before you realize it. 

“What does it mean?”

Echo’s eyes narrow, only a bit, and he runs his thumb up your cheekbone.

“What does what mean?” 

“Mesh’la,” it sounds foreign on your tongue. It’s not Hutteese or Twi’leki, not like any language you know, “Will you tell me what it means, Echo?”

The corner of his lips quirk. Your eyes jump to it.

You feel like someone’s reached right into your chest and given your heart a squeeze — and it only worsens when he laughs. He laughs, deep and quiet and warm, like a thunderstorm on a summer night. It feels cruel, to string you along like this when you’re here, lips parted, hanging off his every touch and his every word.

“Beautiful,” he says quietly as his other hand touches your jaw — it’s so damn reverent, this little moment in time, that you almost don’t believe it’s real.

It feels like a dream — like someone has come in and stolen your thoughts from you; like the unrequited yearning has finally stoked a fire large enough to burn you up entirely, a fever you never knew you wanted.

His nose brushes yours.

Your fingers wind into the fabric of his chest. You’re clinging, lost to the moment — and you can’t help wonder if this is how it feels when he catches you adoring him. He’s admiring you so tenderly that you nearly break.

You want to kiss him.

He’s thought about nothing but kissing you for the last five days at least. Longer in his dreams. Nowadays, it’s a constant pull, a constant want.

And now, it’s here — a present and current moment where it can happen. Where he can stop being a shiny cadet and he can make a move...

Enter Omega.

“Echo, we’re back—!”

The telltale hammer of a girl’s boots on the floor signals that the party is back from their supply run — but you’re so far off, spinning in a different universe, you don’t even hear her until its too late... Until Echo is yanking himself away and clearing his throat and rolling his wrist to test the prosthesis in a different way, a less intimate way. 

You blink, then rattle yourself back to the present. Omega is in the doorway staring with a quizzical look. Clearly, your state does little to dissuade the assumptions she’s already making and you can see the gears turning in her head. The dark-haired girl then slowly grins.

“Hi.”

You swallow. “Hi, Omega.”

“...Whatcha guys doin’?”

Echo coughs. “Uh, just fine-tuning the new upgrade.”

“...Riiiiiight.” 

You rub your cheeks and laugh — clearly forced and incredibly pained — as you stand up and nearly ram your head right into the top of Echo’s bunk. It’s met with a hiss of warning from the trooper as he jumps up to try and protect you from the impact. 

“Well! Uh, thanks for letting me help, Echo,” you clap, rocking back and forth on your boots, “I, uh... Oh, Cid called. I should... I should get back—”

“Yea,” he says, straining a bit to find the words, “Yea, I’ll... I’ll comm you if it starts to, uh... If it starts to act up?”

Omega watches the exchange, big brown eyes moving from left to right. 

“Good, great — yea, that’s,” you inhale as you rub your thighs and move towards the door, “Perfect. Okay.”

“Okay.”

“Bye!” Omega calls, waving.

You wave back, smiling. “Bye, Omega.”

Then, once it’s only Echo and Omega in the bunk, the tween speaks.

“...What the kriff was that?”

[kitorin]

lover's oath

pairing. xiao x gn!reader

warnings. major character death, blood

a/n. Inspired by a youtube comment (I'll post it when I find it again), and I couldn't think of a better situation, so sorry for that. Also not proof read because it's late and I'm tired (ending kinda weird too, the dying part)

Unfriendly, cold and cryptic; that was your first impression of the vigilant yaksha, after he soundlessly appeared on the inn's balcony. The events of that day were still clear in your mind, the way the chilly wind brushed past your skin, the beautiful scenery of Liyue and the mouth watering smell of almond tofu. Who knew the same reserved and dismissive adeptus would be your kind lover who'd diligently protect your abode, the kind of person who'd courageously step out of their comfort zone, just for you. The same person whout crystal flies in your hair, shyly praising how pretty you looked. Under the unsociable mask he kept on was the sweet side of him, sweet as the dreams he once consumed.

You'd never forget the night Lady Ningguang sacrificed the Jade Chamber, his tight, warm grip on your hand and his other protectively wrapping around your waist, pulling you in closer.

Being with him filled the gap in your heart, simply being with him made you feel at ease, from his smooth, calm voice, to his cat like amber eyes, outlined with scarlet eyeliner, his presence warmed your heart, your worries and troubles seemed to disappear when he was around.

If only your merriment was meant to last for an eternity, if only fate wasn't so harsh on you two.

Too distressed to think about anything else, the overwhelming sense of dread was too much to bear. You struggled to breathe, your mouth and throat were dry and your tears were threatening to spill, as you rushed to where your lover was fond of.

Why didn't he alert you of the fight, Osial's wife, the danger he put himself into

"We, met here," Xiao huffed, "Thank you, thank you for loving me, and giving me a cha-" He grunted, gripping at his wound.

Xiao leaned on the railing on Wangshu Inn's balcony, breathing heavily as blood seeped out his wound, staining his pearly white shirt. The fiery light in his eyes was gone, now a dull shade of topaz.

You tried to help him stand, but he refused it.

"Finally…" Exhausted, Xiao weakly said, as he declined your help "I can rest…"

Tears spilt, you remembered all the guilt and burdens the yaksha had to carry for the past 2000 years. Pervases, and the other yaksha all gone, only he remained.

"Mortal medicinaries have no use for an adeptus. I'm done for, I deserved it, I'm recieving my punishment for blood slaughter"

"I'll get Baizh-"

Why, why, why

No

What did you do to deserve this, Xiao was forced to kill, this wasn't fair, all you wanted was him to be happy.

"Why didn't you tell me? At least we could've died together,"

His almost lifeless eyes gazed into the distance, "How could I, you have a life ahead of you… I'm sorry… If I only I was a better person,"

For the first time ever, you saw Xiao cry, clear crystals pooling up in his eyelids, rolling down his cheek, leaving a wet trail. You were in so much pain seeing him like this, you couldn't do anything, only watch him die. Softly, you wrapped your arms around Xiao, planting a kiss on his cheek, hurting at the thought of losing him.

"Let's… stay like this," He whispered, "I'll find you in another life, I'll make sure to love you again, if Celestia is kind enough, will you still be my lover? Will you, marry me?"

A thorn pierced your heart again, why couldn't you live him just a bit longer, even if it was just a day, or even just a few hours.

"Of course I will… In this life and the next, and the one after the next, I'll always love you, you're everything I wanted and more. Well done Xiao, you've done enough for Liyue and I. Rest well my love,"

Relieved, he smiled, a rare but pretty sight to see.

"This is, my oath to you, y/n, I love you…" The life left his body, his breathing stopped, and the warmth of his body was rapidly fading. You held onto his body, feeling safe with it, despite the blood seeping out of hid injury. The wind whistled you a tune, rustling your hair. The view was the same as the night you met him, the bittersweet nostalgia strangled your heart. I'll miss you, my dear Xiao

May Rex Lapis let Xiao rest, Archons let us meet in another life

One where fate is more caring, and less brutal

[user21340]

the world in her arms

(i don’t own this gif or characters used in this fic)

pairing: natasha romanoff x fem!reader

summary: you and natasha have always had quite a flirty and sarcastic relationship. both of you develop feelings for one another but you both are clueless to what the other feels until nat gets jealous and says something hurtful to you. will you make up (or out)?

warnings: minor angst, fluff, swearing, and a mention of death.

word count: 2.1k

a/n: omg thank you so much for 57 followers love you all 💕. sorry for the lack of content i didn’t know what to write and had almost no new ideas. also i’m a youngin and worked my first 8 hr day yesterday so your girl was exhausted and i have finals coming up soon. k thank you for coming to my ted talk, enjoy!

also this song doesn’t relate to the story at all but it’s underrated imo and also sorry for the weird pov changes throughout the story.

“Hey y/l/n! Where are you headed?” Natasha yells from the kitchen while I’m standing in the living room on our shared floor.

“Wouldn’t you like to know Nat.” I say with a smirk.

“Yeah matter of fact I would.” she retorts.

“Chill, I’m just headed to train some recruits with Clint. But don’t miss me too much, I'll be back in a few hours, Natty.” You blow a kiss her way, and she just rolls her eyes partially from the kiss and the use of her nickname but you see a faint pink tint sitting atop of her cheeks before she turns away.

I’ve been training these recruits with Clint for a couple hours and my session is nearing an end. Something I’ve picked up on today is how touchy and how dumb these recruits are acting just for me to correct their form. I don’t have time for this shit I think as this girl has me correct her jab form for what has to be the fifth time this hour.

Non readers pov

Natasha actually does start to miss you because of how bored she is due to the larger training room being occupied for these recruits. She heads down to see if you are wrapping up yet and see if you’d like to grab dinner with her somewhere. She arrives at the training room and heads to the back room where there is a large one way mirror. Natasha, having nothing better to do, watches Clint and yourself interact with these seemingly clueless recruits.

Minutes pass and Natasha honestly likes seeing your frustration every time a recruit asks you a stupid question or something you’d already answered for the hundredth time this session. That is until she sees this handsy recruit keep asking you to correct your form which she sees you fake a smile at and happily correct it. As if Natasha isn’t jealous already she sees you release a genuine large laugh at something a recruit says. Not being able to withstand witnessing anymore of this behavior from you directed towards anyone else except her. Natasha then storms off into the living room.

Readers pov

I was nearing the end of this session when a recruit comes up behind me and asks, “Soooo, is it true that you and Clint are like a thing?” he asks with no trace of humor or sarcasm on his face. I just bust out laughing because one, everyone or at least almost everyone who knows about The Avengers knows that I’m 100% only interested in women and two, CLINT? I mean he is a great guy and all but I’ll never forget the time I went into a diner to have breakfast with him and the waitress assumed he was my grandfather.

twenty long minutes later...

The living room is lively and everyone seems to strike up a conversation with one another. I decide to strike up a conversation with Natasha who is weirdly acting cold all of a sudden.

“Oh my god! You know what I just remembered the other day? My mom used to-“

“Shut up, y/n/n. I don’t care and I don’t think anyone does at the moment.” she exclaims with a small smirk thinking you’ll detect her harsh-morbid sarcasm.

“Oh.” you choke out, “It’s getting pretty late I-I better head to bed” my voice cracks as I mutter a small, ‘asshole’ agony laced in my voice blinking the hot tears away. I start walking towards my room but it slowly turns into a jog, then sprint. Anything to get to my room and release my sadness.

Non readers pov

The room is frozen. Everyone is staring at Natasha.

“I care.” Wanda states heading to your room because she knows you shouldn’t be alone right now.

“Jesus Nat, that was awful. You know you’ve fucked you when even I say it’s bad. Poor girl’s mom passed when she was around 10.” Tony deadpans.

“Oh my god, what have I done?” Nat says burying her head into her hands.

“I’m not too sure how you’re gonna get out of this one Nat, but you’ve gotta fix this.” Sam says.

Wanda reaches your room and hears loud yet muffled sobs while standing in the hallway. She can feel your grief rippling through her body. The only heartache she can relate to is the moment she lost Pietro which is more than an average person should feel. She knocks on the door softly yet hard enough to alert you of her presence.

Readers pov

I hear three soft knocks on the door. I quickly silence my cries and assume it is Nat. I then clear my throat as the knocking continues and muster up enough energy to speak,

“Go away” into my pillow loudly. The knocking stops but I don’t hear anyone walk away just yet.

“Y/n/n, it’s Wanda. Can you let me in please, so we can talk?” she asks, I stand up while groaning and walk towards the door. I unlock it and open it just a crack to make sure she is alone and not with a certain someone. It is pretty short-lived as Wanda pushes the door open the rest of the way.

“Oh hon, I’m sorry.” She says as she wraps me into a tight hug after closing the door behind her. I crumble into her embrace as she rubs small circles on my back. Wanda has always been such a calming figure in my life since I met her, a major part being that she can feel almost all of my anxieties that try to drown me throughout a day. She also knows how it feels to be alone which allows her to relate to my feelings, so she knows just how much missing someone who is gone for eternity hurts.

We hug for what feels like minutes but when I take a quick glance outside my window it is dark out.

“Is it true?” I rasp.

“What?” she counters.

“Y’know that no one cares. All I wanted to do was share a memory that I remembered of myself with my mom and as you know it isn’t too often that I remember these types of things and when I do I love sharing them, so she won’t ever be forgotten. It just hurts so much to be shut down talking about something you truly care about by someone you care about.” I explain while Wanda looks at me with the softest eyes I’ve ever seen while nodding her head slightly.

“Now that is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. I care and everyone in this compound cares about what you have to say as well as what you are feeling. You know how Natasha can be sometimes with the insensitive comments she makes before realizing what she’s doing.”

“I know but that doesn’t give her the right to j-just say stuff like that. I get how full our relationship is with banter and sarcastic comments but I really thought she was starting to like me.” I frown as Wanda just nods. That’s when exhaustion hits me like a truck.

“Wands, before I ask you this just know you can decline.” I give her a minute to protest, but she says nothing. ” Can you sleep with me?” Wanda’s eyes widen,

”Y/n/n I don’t think that is a good id-“ I realize what I just said and cut her off before things get even more uncomfortable. “Nonono, Wanda, like lay down with me not any of that gross stuff. Ew.” Wanda’s features fill with relief, and she chuckles at my childish comment about sex.

“Of course I will! You just may want to word it a little different next time.” she chuckles as you hide your face with embarrassment. We both get settled on the bed and I feel her two arms pull me towards her and I snuggle closer.

Non readers pov

Wanda slowly gets out of bed after she is sure you are fast asleep and sets off to find Nat. When she does she sees that Nat had barely moved from where she last saw her still with her face in her hands.

“Nat. I know you think you really screwed up, which you did, but it’s y/n/n. You can’t go on without telling her how you feel about her.”

“Wanda, you can’t just look in my mind! We’ve talked about this!”

“Romanoff you know I’m one to keep my promises, so I’d never look without your permission. Maybe if you turned down the volume of your thoughts a few decibels I wouldn’t have heard anything. Also, are you ready that oblivious to the fact the whole team knows you two are like little lovesick puppies for one another when you two aren’t attached by the hip.” she explains, “Now, stop moping around and apologize at least.”

“You’re right, Wands, wish me luck. I hope she can forgive me.”

Natasha gets up and races towards your room. She didn’t want to wait so long to talk to you and apologize, but she thought you wouldn’t want to speak to her after what she’d said.

Similarly, to Wanda’s entrance, Natasha softly knocks on your door enough to wake you even out of your semi-deep sleep.

Readers pov

I jump at the knocks on the door and am confused to see Wanda is no longer beside me.

“Wanda you don’t have to knock, you know that.” I sigh out.

“It isn’t Wanda.” a voice you are able to recognize as Nat sheepishly speaks.

“Oh, what do you need?” I ask, all the heartbreak and ache coming back when I hear the voice I’m usually excited to listen to, as if her speech is my favorite song.

“Can we talk? I need to apologize.”

“Sure,” I softly reply.

Non readers pov

Nat opens the door once she has your permission and sees your usual strong, confident frame look small and fragile. Her heart breaks at the sight of you so broken and in pain because of her own actions. Not to mention your tear stained cheeks when you look towards her. It is silent for a minute or so before you throw your head back onto your pillow staring at the ceiling. This awakens something in Natasha for an unknown reason.

Readers pov

“Y/n, I am so sorry. I know that sorry doesn’t cut it for the amount of hurt I’ve caused you all because I was jealous but I hope we can rebuild what we had but it totally is okay if you don’t want to even though I would love another chance with yo-“

“Nat, calm down. I’m not going to sit here and say I’m fine with what you said because truth be told I love sharing memories of my family when I remember them with you. Not only because I trust you but because I think I care for you and love you more than friends should. I just hope what you said is meaningless or else that is when we can’t rebuild what we had.”

“No y/n/n, I didn’t mean any of it. It was just in the heat of the moment because I saw you laughing at something a recruit said when I was going to ask you if you wanted to go get dinner with me. So, I stormed off like a child and said hurtful things to mask my selfishness because I want you to be mine and mine only.”

“Oh my god Nat. You can’t be serious, I was laughing at something a recruit said because he assumed Clint and I were going out.” Nat bursts out laughing.

“See? Anyone who was told that who knew me would just die of laughter on the spot.” I say as I glance her way while patting the place beside me on my bed. She accepts.

“So you actually like me?” you hopefully ask.

“Possibly depending on if those feelings are reciprocated.”

“They are.” I say.

“Good. Can I also say how sorry I am for saying that to-“ I cut her off but placing a quick peck to her soft lips.

“Uh, uh, uh” I tut, “I don’t want to hear any more apologies come out of that mouth. Could you just hold me?” Natasha is still dumbfounded by the little kiss.

“Of course.” Nat complies pressing your back to her front as she wraps her long toned arms around your frame. I hum at the contact.

At this moment Nat realizes there is no place she’d rather be as she feels like she has the world in her arms.

[shewhotellsstories]

i really dont wanna annoy you but you post about racism in fandom sometimes so i thought you'd be the right person to ask. i hope this doesnt come off as expecting u to be my teacher. yesterday someone said they didnt trust white zk shippers and i thought it was mean but then people started sending the them all these nasty messages and i started to worry maybe op was right. honestly a lot of this stuff is pretty new for me. i think our fandom is inclusive & unlike the rest of the atla fandom we actually like katara. but i'm trying to learn.

why would it be a problem that a lot of zk fics have katara looking after zuko? i always just felt like he needed it more bc he was abused and kataras better at dealing with feelings and she's good at taking care of people. is fire lady katara still ok? is there racism in our fandom? there are a lot of woc zks and i've seen them get hate for it. but the messages op got were pretty bad too. i know i'm asking a lot of questions i just hate the thinking that we might be as bad as the z*kka stans have been saying all year.

This is gonna get long so I’m just gonna jump right in. When I listened to fansplaining’s episode on fandom racism one of the guests said white fans who can acknowledge that fandom racism exists tend to frame it as “just a few bad apples” and get caught up in worrying about not looking like a “bad apple” instead of making fandoms spaces that aren’t hostile for BIPOC. Jag offs hiding behind anon to tell women of color who ship zutara that we have a creepy fetish for imperialism and colonialism suck, but your biggest concern really shouldn’t be the optics or if you can claim superiority over zukka stans.

Yeah the “katara’s a homophobe” nonsense didn’t come from our end of the fandom, but it feels naive at best or dishonest at worst to act like the zutara fandom is uniquely immune to fandom racism. A creator I follow made the excellent point that allyship conditional upon if a poc talks "nicely" about racism is still white supremacy. I believe poc need to be allowed to vent and be salty or angry without being tone-policed. I definitely have my days where I’m like “ugh white people,” or "why must white fans be like this," so I get where the OP was coming from. Ironically the folks that sent them anon hate proved their point. You can always count on hit dogs to hollar.

Fandom is only escapist for some people. It doesn’t exist in a vacuum so you’ll find racism in fandom because there’s racism in the world. Navigating that gets exhausting. There are certain things I enjoy, but for the sake of my sanity I'll only talk about it with friends in real life or only follow fans of color. Before I follow white fans I need to see first that they’re not the kind of person who inspires posts about fandom racism. A good friend of mine loves Star Wars, Kpop, and gaming but after years of attempts at calling in she decided that she’d only interact with woc in those spaces. Again, you get tired.

ATLA wasn’t on my radar until last year so I definitely haven’t read every zutara fic out there but I have noticed a lot of fics do tend to have Katara being the one comforting and supporting Zuko. It’s not inherently wrong of course, it’s just in the grand scheme of things in fiction woc are often cast as eternal caretakers and confidants in fiction:

“How characters of color are portrayed in fanworks, especially fanfiction, is worse than the actual films. They are portrayed as supportive, almost invisible understudies. Any characteristics which they possess in the [MCU] films are stripped and given to other white characters. It is not only erasure. It’s a theft of identity.

Characters of color are positioned within storylines to support the main, white characters. Even within the slash biracial pairings, the character of color is underdeveloped and in a position of servitude within the relationship.”

TheNavyLanguage, Fansplaining

As the quote above points out this honestly happens in a lot of fandoms. I’ve read fanfic for books, movies, tv shows, and comics and I can’t help but notice that in fics the writers often have the non-white character or-- if neither character is white--the darker skinned character being the care-taker, the bodyguard, or the person who is performing all the emotional labor. It’s not inherently wrong to have a character of color have a nurturing personality, you just have to remember that since Black and brown folks have been saddled with narrative after narrative where we exist to serve leaning into dynamics where the non-white or darker skinned character is providing all the emotional support and getting very little in return has some unfortunate implications.

It’s not better if instead of being defined as the avatar’s girl, Katara’s the fire lord’s girl. Part of the appeal of zutara for me is the idea that Katara could lay down some of her burdens and get some much needed support. I always imagine she’d have some major issues after the war.

"i always just felt like he needed it more bc he was abused and kataras better at dealing with feelings and she's good at taking care of people."

I’m going to push back against that statement. Yes, Katara didn't grow up in an abusive household but she has pain and trauma of her own. In fact I’d argue that her believing it’s her job to take care of everyone is rooted in her trauma. Katara needs support and care just as much as anyone else does.

Having read a lot of fics revolving around abuse victims in different fandoms I’ve observed that if fans feel a character’s trauma wasn’t properly addressed in canon, they’ll give them a lot of TLC in fics. But again, reducing the non-white or darker-skinned character to a glorified therapist has some implications.

I feel like the Fire Lady Katara headcanon's been talked to death so long-story short, it’s not inherently racist but it can problematic if it's not clear that Katara is Katara of the Water Tribe wherever she lives. Fics and art where her crown has a crescent moon, she wears blue, or Zuko wears blue when she's in red are the executions I'm fondest of.

When in doubt just listen when poc talk about uncomfortable trends in the fandom. Give fansplaining’s episodes on fandom racism a listen here, here, and here. And very loosely quoting my favorite professor just remember that if a marginalized person says they’re distrustful of a group of people or institution it usually happens after a lot of bad experiences. Don’t center your own comfort and hurt feelings.

“If we truly believe in fandom’s progressive credentials, then perhaps it is necessary for us to listen to critiques that make us uncomfortable rather than those that keep arguing that the status quo is perfectly acceptable—even as there is plenty of evidence to the contrary. Perhaps then we will be able to come at these, yes, these very complex and nuanced discussions with the type of openness and good faith that is required for them to succeed, rather than approaching them with hostility.”

-Rukmini Pande, Fansplaining