#love how this post just DERAILED from the main point but we know me at this point fellas lmao

[blackpilljesus]

I saw this from the female separatism subreddit & the responses are some of the biggest reasons for separatism et al (or extinction if I'm being candid here). Moids cant be reformed they are fully aware of the hell they force women to live in. MaIe achievement & happiness is rooted in female exploitation & life. Their glory days are based on our horrific days. No amount of love, kindness or facts will change maIes and we cannot happily or even neutrally coexist with them.

Main points across answers:

Many want to experiment but not permanently be women

They dont want to be in constant danger or lose their autonomy at the hands of maIes for merely existing

They dont want to deal with childbirth (& periods)

They dont want to have to share spaces with species much stronger than them with ulterior motives

It makes me go crazy seeing people give moids benefit of doubt for their evil like "maIes just dont understand", "we need to teach maIes", or claiming that maIe violence is a result of maIes struggling with (expressing) their feelings. I get that women love maIes and it can be hard to imagine that people can intentionally be so evil but it is what it is. MaIes have no problems expressing themselves, abusing women is what maIes choose to do because they enjoy & benefit from it - that is their expression.

MaIes see the same news of women being abused, raped, and killed like we do except rather than be disheartened or alarmed they're either apathetic or satisfied. It isn't aliens that's committing GBV it's maIes & maIes have no problem reminding women of this when women anger them (such as rape threats & threatening women they'll end up on the news/true crime). The victim blaming, denial, and derailment of misogyny is part of the game to keep the system alive, they know the events occured & are a systemic occurence they just dont care. Hell not only do they not care, they rejoice in it or get off on it.

MaIes set up environments that work in their favour which simultaneously ensures that women will lose. They know women are set up to live in damn near impossible conditions for us. It's normalised for women to defenselessly share personal & private spaces with beings much more stronger than them with ulterior motives for us, it's trap. It's interesting how these moids aren't saying that they'll just cover up and *poof* harrassment gone, or they'll just pick a nice guy & they'll be okay. MaIes know the net negative they are towards women.

MaIes know that childbirth is a painful process & what do they do? Demand it happens and make it even MORE painful for women. MaIes that impregnate women do not love or care for them. Pregnancy itself is dangerous & sometimes lethal, often comes with a range of health issues, to cause someone to be in that condition especially in a environment where abortions are illegal is reckless & unloving. Now imagine how sinister & full of hatred one has to be to impregnate someone and abuse them on top of that. Many women risk their health & lives to reproduce with a Y and they get abused by said Y instead of being taken care of. Deranged.

Realising that maIes are aware of the evil they inflict is one of the things that radicalised me. It isn't a miscommunication or ignorance issue, their violence is intended. They want control. The cruelty is the point. Instead of wasting time & energy trying to change maIes or hope that they "understand" one day, focus on yourself & other women (who prioritise women). Moids aren't oblivious to female pain they enjoy it. A lot of women treat maIe evil like it's a mistake on maIes part but it's calculated terrorism. I know that this will go over many womens heads as they refuse to hold strong negative sentiments about moids as a collective so if you're not a woman like that, take this post as a sanity check. You aren't crazy, it isn't all in your head.

[creatingblackcharacters]

Hi! Neve sent an ask before, so I don't know how this works, but I'll chip in an obligatory I love your account; your reblogs especially were very helpful for my character casts! I'm currently working on a short-ish story where one of my main protagonists falls for a black woman. Their relationship is supposed to have conflicts, but ultimately they're endgame and supposed to be a genuine example of true love. But the thing is, I'm a white woman. I've searched a fair amount of your posts, but I haven't found anything on interracial relationships (Correct me if I've missed it!) What are things you noticed/dislike about how interracial relationships are portrayed in current media? And what are common harmful tropes/misconceptions included in them? I apologize if this subject derails from the conversation, but there's not many places I can find info on this topic, so I might as well ask here:!

Hello! Please capitalize Black when sending me asks. I'll put it on my pinned post, just so everyone is aware.

Tbh, this was likely one I was going to do a full lesson on at some point, so for now, I can give you some points of things that I personally don't like and/or find problematic or distasteful. Also, I've discussed these things in my lessons, particularly 3, 4, and 6. Please refer to my pinned post.

1. When the White partner is always the desirable one.

Black people are attractive, are sexy, have charisma, allure, endearing traits. It's gotten quite old that the partner that's always doing the chasing, regardless of their own quality of character, is the Black character. Maybe the White partner should be putting in the work!

2. An offshoot of that is that the White partner is described as being beautiful and attractive... Because they're White.

Now many people may not realize they're perpetuating this white supremacist belief, but when you're emphasizing "pale" (when we know you mean white) and light, thin hair, colorful eyes and other European beauty standards as what makes them the most attractive person in this story (versus mousy brown hair and tanned skin and plain brown eyes), you're implying that everything else is somehow less than. Especially when their partner is Black. If you're not putting in that much effort to describe the beauty and or marvel of the Black partner and character... It reveals your (however unconscious) beliefs!

3. How the White character is the "weaker", "more gentle", "purer" one.

This tends to happen with White women and white gay men characters. The idea that the Black character is inherently stronger, larger, more brutish, in need of being tamed... It's rooted in racism. Sometimes the White character could wait hand and foot on the Black one to show love and devotion 🤷🏾‍♀️ maybe it's the White character that needs to get their shit together 🤷🏾‍♀️ Black men characters can be masculine and gentle too. Black women characters can be softhearted and strong too. We are as capable of nuance as anyone else.

4. The idea that the Black character is meant to help the White one unlearn racism.

Now this is a touchy one. Because on the one hand, there's obviously going to be learning about culture and exchange in an interracial relationship. It's not wrong to have your Black character point things out to your white one, to help them be a better person bc they're in love and they need to understand and love and respect their partner's Blackness. Preferably they'd already know everything, but that's society. It's an active process.

But... There's this idea that somehow racism will be overcome because "love", and that's just not true. I personally don't think it's very romantic for a racist white woman to meet a Black man and through the story the message is "oh I learned how to see his humanity as we fell in love!" That's not... Cute to me. It is not hot in any way to have some guy or girl find my humanity and I'm supposed to thank and love them for that. That's the bare minimum. I'll respect them when they put in the work to show that they're unlearning, and when they get to a safe point, I'll be like okay. Certainly not "oh she's racist now but I know there's a good heart in there" noooo not really.

5. Every interracial relationship with a white person is not gonna result in a light-skinned baby.

Oohhoohoo I can't wait to elaborate on this one next lesson. 😈

These are my main ones. If any other Black fans have any opinions to add, I'd love to hear them!

[rivalsforlife]

pardon me if you’re tired of discussing this but. we know aa7 is on capcom’s radar on some level. and now they’ve rereleased every game right?? they’ve finally run out of backlog material after almost yearly releases since 2019…. Not to put the clown wig and nose back on too early but do you think we’ll actually get news about, or get to see, aa7 next year?

Never tired of discussing this!! This is right around the time of year where I'd be preparing to make my yearly AA7 Speculation Post anyway so this is great timing. (TGS, my enemy, is approaching.)

So just to make sure everyone's on the same page, here's a quick recap of where we're currently at:

In November 2020 we got internal Capcom leaks which included a calendar from 2019 with the roadmap for the AA series the next couple of years. This included:

DGS1&2 collection, which I did not think was going to happen ever, releasing April-June 2021

AA7, releasing around October-December 2021, right around the 20th anniversary.

Through late 2019-mid 2022, reconsider porting 456

We got DGS1&2 (a bit later than in the plan, but by like a month), we got the 456 ports, we got bonus AAI ports, we have nothing for AA7 nearly three years after it was supposed to come out. The pandemic is an obvious feature that could contribute to its delay, but at this point with 456 ports out I think we can safely say that this was not the only cause.

Some other things that may or may not be contributing to AA7's delay include:

Yamazaki, the previous main writer for 5&6 and the AAIs, left Capcom in 2020. If he was involved in AA7 at all, that could throw a wrench into things, but I recall hearing he intended AA6 to be his last AA game (I AM STRUGGLING TO FIND THE SOURCE THOUGH SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME), so I don't think this contributed very much. It does, however, mean that we're unsure about who the next main writer is - depending on what Takumi's up to or if they had to bring someone new on, there could be complications related to that.

I think TGAA did way better than anyone expected, which I covered in this post. It's possible that this could have shifted Capcom's priorities to porting more old games / porting to all modern consoles. It may have made people at Capcom think "damn everyone loves Takumi" so they tried to lure him back to AA7, and I have no idea how well that would have gone or if Takumi is even interested in continuing mainline AA right now. (I do think this at least contributed to the Ghost Trick ports.)

In my first ever AA7 speculation post I talked about how the ending of AA6 kind of wrote them into a corner re: how to continue with the series and which protagonist to use. I still stand by that argument even if a lot of that post aged badly.

Console ports! Previously new AA games were for whichever Nintendo handheld is out now (GBA, Nintendo DS, Nintendo 3DS). But now that the series is doing really well on all consoles, they may have decided to try to make their next mainline entry on all consoles, which would take more development time. Adding to this is that the Switch is near the end of its lifecycle with the Switch 2 (or whatever the successor will be) being announced soon - meaning that, if AA7 is coming out soon, Capcom is in the position of "do we try to squeeze this into the end of the Switch's lifecycle" (which, I'll need to find sources for this, is speculated to be some of the reasons behind why AAI2 and DGS2 sold badly when they were first released, and they can't make the same mistake thrice... right...?) or "do we try to time it with the release of the Switch 2"?

Also, a lot of this depends on how far AA7 was into development whenever it was derailed. If it was derailed from the pandemic, then according to the calendar, it would likely have still been in the prototype stage. It may be early enough that they would have had to start from scratch whenever they picked it up again. I don't work in the gaming industry so I have no idea how long it takes them to make a game or how easy it would be from what stage they're in.

One thing we can compare to is some of the comments about the recent AAI ports: in this interview, Shunsuke Nishida, the producer of the AAI collection, says that development on the collection began in 2022. He also mentions that this began once development on 456 was concluded. This leads me to believe that (contrary to my previous assumptions) 456 and AAIC were not developed concurrently (or if so, had very minimal overlap), and that the process of upscaling graphics, porting, and localization took them... about a year, maybe? So that takes time, even without taking into consideration how long it would take to come up with a new idea + write the script + the bulk of the programming that would have to be done that isn't considered with porting + probably way more than I can think of because again I do not work in the gaming industry.

There's also the question of why 456 and AAIC weren't developed concurrently. The calendar from 2020 shows that TGAA and AA7 were meant to be developed at least somewhat concurrently, and the staff from TGAA would eventually merge into working on AA7. Once again, we don't know what happened to the staff that were supposed to be working on AA7. It's possible pandemic complications meant they got shuffled onto other projects. It's possible the AA-related team is smaller now than it was in 2020, so they only have enough people to work on one project at a time. It's also possible that there's a team that was working on ports, and a team that was working on a new game, and now the "port team" is freed up to work on the "new game team".

Either way though, pretty much every interview with the staff for the 456 or AAI ports are all saying "look forward to the future of the series", which is definitely Corporate Speak, but unless they're bringing the ports of the Layton crossover (fingers crossed) that can only mean one thing. (AAI anime?) Plus, like I've discussed in this post, AA is having fantastic sales in general. They've seemingly either hired a new social media manager or changed the strategy so there is much more engagement on twitter. And AA is getting on bigger and bigger announcements - though AA trilogy ports were announced at TGS (at an AA-specific panel), TGAA duology ports were announced unceremoniously on twitter. Afterwards, 456 ports got announced at the Capcom Showcase during Summer Game Fest. And now AAI collection got announced at a Nintendo Direct, which I imagine is even more expensive, so the series must be going in a good direction for them to think that's worth it!

That's a lot of rambling for me to say I definitely think it's coming.

When are we going to see it though!!

Coming up in September is my eternal enemy Tokyo Game Show. Since AAI collection is being released at the beginning of September... it might be a bit too soon to announce a new game, but who knows. They might think it's profitable to ride the hype they're building now for AAI collection to announce a new game. Or they might let it sit for a while.

With AAIC getting announced at a Direct, I'm thinking they'll want to make AA7's announcement a) big and b) global. AA6 was announced in Famitsu, but the problem with that is that it's a mostly Japanese audience, and some interviews have been talking about how AA's global audience is particularly contributing to how big it is right now. So I'm expecting AA's next announcement to be at something major and something that will get attention from overseas audiences.

If they have been working on AA7 concurrently -- and honestly I do think there has at least been some progress on it since 2019 -- we could definitely see an announcement within the next year. I was also saying this in 2020, though, so don't take my word for it. There's been two year gaps between ports up until the AAI collection, and they seemed pretty proud about releasing 456 and AAI in the same year, so... maybe they'll want to keep it going and announce AA7 within the next year, especially if they'll have a longer announcement -> release period than they normally would for ports.

Potential candidates include:

Tokyo Game Show: As previously stated, it's very close to the AAIC release, so I don't think it's the best timing for it. I would not want my favorite AA game overshadowed by whatever the hell they're going to do with AA7. Likelihood: depends on how fast they want to follow up on the hype.

The Game Awards: is the next major gaming event, but that's already massive in terms of the type of games that get announced there, and it's expensive! Nintendo Direct is one thing since AA has always been a Nintendo-first series, but I don't think it's big enough to justify putting in a Game Awards ad. and I already have my clown wig on for persona 6 there. Likelihood: pretty low tbh

Next Year's Summer Game Fest-related Shows: I think this is the most likely, considering both the 456 collection and the AAI collection were announced around this time. For AA7 I'd say a Nintendo Direct to get lots of eyes on it, especially if AAIC sales pay off. Likelihood: pretty high!

Which leads me into my wildcard answer:

Switch 2 Announcement Stream: If Capcom decides to go in and make AA7 one of the first games for whatever the switch successor would be, it could be announced here. I regret to admit that I am a very bad gamer and only like two things, and therefore have not ever been present for one of these things to know how many games get announced as launch games for a new console, but, like, it's possible.

In the above scenario, I'm not necessarily saying that AA7 would be a Switch 2 exclusive - because I think that would be stupid after so much of the support they've gotten from the ports has been from playstation and steam - but I am definitely the kind of person who would buy a console for one video game. Shoutout to me buying a switch in part anticipating that aa7 would come out on it and that is not looking likely

Anyways, that's my speculation!! Reminder that this is mostly uninformed and that I have no knowledge of anything related to sales or marketing or video game development, and as a result of that, I have been wrong (aside from the one time I accurately predicted AAI ports as a joke) for four consecutive years.

[majaloveschris]

Hi Maja.

First of all, your blog is one of the only ones I’ve always felt was sincere, on point, respectful, and not toxic. I’ve always had a good feeling about you and how you are kind despite all the toxicity on here.

That feeling has never wavered and there is a big part of me that wants you to be right and win against these ridiculous anons that seem to want to put you down.

An opinion (which I don’t claim to be fact, just some thoughts here): I see a lot of takes on here popping up from blogs that claim they have PR knowledge and claim to be experts and read and follow along the gossip, but I think nobody really knows and they can only hypothesize on what they think is the truth.

I think CE being married (by public knowledge and Wikipedia) was the main goal here. I’ve always sort of felt this, which is why I ultimately was not surprised after he did his SMA spread that he went public with Fish girl and then later on “got married.”

The reason I say this is because HW and society is very judgmental and superficial. Being single or unmarried at a certain age always raises questions whether or not it is valid to do so. I disagree with this sentiment but unfortunately the world is how it is. It happens to regular people, so why wouldn’t it apply to celebs? Especially the ones who have basically become a pop culture icon of being an eligible bachelor/desirable.

Let’s think about this. After 2019, CE was no longer under the marvel umbrella. He had to start defining his post marvel career, and then Covid hit. So many things derailed. He randomly got an IG in 2020 but people found out it had existed as an account since 2019. Perhaps it was always the plan or it was a plan hatched by his PR team to keep him in the public eye. He became relatable internet BF with a Prince Charming storyline of when will he find the one? It was almost overkill from 2020-2022.

Now it’s 2024 and he’s supposedly been with this woman since 2021. It shows longevity and then eventual commitment. He now wears a ring in public so they see him as “settled down.” That’s the image he is now portraying for the public who doesn’t dig or care to deeper in his life.

I don’t think it’s about rebranding to attract a younger audience - if so, his pr team would have realized that gen Z actually does not fare well to age gaps and the subject of grooming and etc always comes up for this hypersensitive on PC/wokeness generation. Then add on the racism and weird ass crap from her/her friends. Definitely not boding well for a generation that lives on the internet and knows how to deep dive. His PR team would have looked at how the public reacted to other relationships like this and I feel, if it was simply he was in love with her and it was real real, would have told him to keep it on the DL DL until it was absolutely certain they had walked down the aisle. At that point, there would be no turning back.

But they marketed this before that happened. They wanted to portray her as the one similar to how in movies, they want to portray a main character and love interest as meant to be even if the audience may or may not receive it that way. How many times do we hear “this movie tanked because the leads had no chemistry and the relationship they wanted us to believe was not believable?”

But ultimately, the endgoal of if CE and his wife are a good couple or not doesn’t really matter. They have achieved their goal of he is now settled down and no longer on the market. If you choose to continue to follow him, stay for his career and not his personal life. Meanwhile, her - well, they’ll keep trying to make her happen because her end of the deal was getting more visibility and breaking into the American market. That much has been clear.

But you can lead a horse to water, you can’t make it drink.

What she chooses to do with the opportunities given to her are left to be seen. Also, how the public and CE/her fanbases chooses to receive them are also left to be seen.

Will this marriage last forever? I have doubts. But I do think they considered many options and this is what they came up with. I also don’t believe CE’s actions show he is very happy with the arrangement, even less so than fish is. Because even from the subtle clues from photos and “videos” - body language does not lie.

To be fair to fish, I doubt she’s in love with him either. I think she’s getting more benefits from this because most of the negativity is being directed towards him, not her. His fans hating and harassing her are just a pinnacle of what he’s receiving from his own fanbase. Some people will disagree with me but he’s the one getting the P and G and disgusting comments and being called the worst person on earth because he married her. His own fans are turning on him and her fans can also blame him but victimize her. The general public doesn’t care too much but will say how he looks because he got with her. She remains “innocent” of any blame because at the end, she is young and he is older so he should know better. Do you see what I mean?

Meanwhile, her fans are just happy she’s getting attention and somebody to fund her poor attempts at becoming a fashion icon. She lacks in talent and work ethic but it’s an easy way for her to get engagement by being attached to him.

The day this ends and she no longer has his name will be interesting and that’s what I think his fans (remaining) are hoping for. They don’t want to reward laziness and clout chasing opportunist and I too support this. They want HIM to be better and find success and love himself more so he doesn’t continue to end up in these shitty situations. But again, he has to want that for himself. He has to want to deserve better so he can work on actually deserving of better.

I hope I didn’t offend anyone with this opinion. Just my thoughts and I support YOU. I hope things work out in the end in your favor because you are a great person and I selfishly want you to be right (haha). ❤️

I completely agree with everything that you wrote down. 

I remember seeing people criticize him for saying he wants to get married and have a family, yet he is still single and childless. As you said, it's stupid that people are being bullied and judged because they haven't already settled down, even if they wanted to. Finding a partner is hard, and finding a partner in his shoes is even harder. I obviously don't know whether he actually wants all of that, but saying he must not want all of that because he didn't do so is not right. A lot of people struggle with finding a good partner. 

I never agreed with people calling him by the P and G words. I guess these people either don't know what those words mean or are simply that mad as Chris that they feel the need to spread lies. He is not those things and never was. Yeah, 16 years is a lot, but she was a grownup when they allegedly met, and I think people exaggerate when they say she looks like a child. 

I think the reason most people are hateful towards him is because they are disappointed in him. I think most people had an idea about the person he is based on the information we had, and him being married to someone like her or even dating someone like her doesn't really fit into that. People aren't disappointed in her because most didn't even know who she was before Chris. We were just presented with her actual self, and we didn't have any expectations from her. But we had for him. 

I doubt either of them is in love with each other. Alba doesn't seem that happy or comfortable around him either. I think this is just business for both of them.

I still think he is a good man who made a terrible mistake. I just hope the best for him, to be honest, which I know is an unpopular opinion now because it seems like wanting the worst for him is what is trendy nowadays. Maybe I'm naive; maybe I'm just holding onto an image, but I don't think the last 20+ years were a lie. I hope he will prove me right. 

Thanks for writing this down and for being there. ♥

[artist-issues]

To Re-Write Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

Here's a peek into my storytelling process, and what I think the third movie of the Star Wars Sequel Trilogy should've looked like. You know me. Everything starts with the Main Point. (I'm not going to talk about what's bad about Rise of Skywalker in this post, it'll be long enough already.)

The Main Point: "Where there is love, there is hope."

Essentially, the main message of Star Wars is "Faith Triumphs Over Fear." Our main message supports that, because it's hard to keep the faith when you're alone, or feel alone. But when you have friends, or loved ones to fight for, keeping the faith is easier, and gives you something other than fear to focus on.

So. I'm going to structure this like "Where a Character Was at the end of TLJ --> Where They Need to Be by the End of EP 9."

Most of these characters don't need any more development. They learned a core lesson at the end of TLJ: now they just need to hang on and put it into practice no matter what plot points test them. Stick the landing. We already had their "Proposal, Argument—" now we need their "—Conclusion."

The only exception to this is Kylo Ren. He still needs development. You'll see:

Rey

It's Not About Who I Am; It's About Doing the Good I Can Do --> Tempted to Make a Selfish-Insecure-Identity-Based Decision; Chooses to Do the Self-Sacrificial, Good Thing Instead.

This means Rey needs to have a goal she's trying to accomplish, but this time there's not really a "and then I'll know who I am" element in it for her. Like in TLJ, she was going to find Luke for the greater good, but it was also, on a personal level, because:

But this time, after TLJ, she needs to start out on a mission that doesn't have anything in it for her besides the greater good... to show that she's grown in the right direction, she's not thinking so much about who she is and what she needs, anymore.

Then, on that mission, during that adventure, that character growth can be tested by having the opportunity to get sidetracked by something that could be self-validating.

I wouldn't make it be something about her parents again—we've exhausted that topic by the end of TLJ. But I'd make it something that has to do with being "The Last Jedi, the Heiress to the Light Side of the Force." I'd set the movie up with people telling her that, eventually, Rey will grow to be the legend Luke Skywalker was.

Maybe in the time between TLJ and this movie, the Resistance have run enough rescue missions of refugees or people oppressed by the First Order to pick up a bunch of kids or very young recruits. And those kids have heard of or seen Rey in action by now. Maybe Broom Boy is even one of them. And there are scenes of kids being in awe of Rey, or one of them even says, "after you beat the First Order, will you train me, Master Jedi?" or Maz herself makes a sage comment like, "Look how the Light has grown in you. The Galaxy needed that light...and the Force answered with you, like Luke Skywalker before you." Or during a fun opening-rescue mission, there's a scene where all of the people Rey is helping look up to her and explain who she is to one another in front of her.

Scenes providing her with an image of herself, as the future trainer of the Jedi Order, "when all this is over." Something that she could be tempted to find her identity in.

But then during the course of her mission, she has the opportunity to do one of these things

Gain Amazing New Jedi Knowledge

Kill Kylo Ren and Gain Renown as a Hero

Sacrifice Some Measure of the Power She Has Gained in the Force

And if she chooses the thing that will make her seem more like the Heroic Heiress of the Heroes, that would derail her from her mission and show that she's still thinking about herself—but if she chooses to just do the self-sacrificial, kind thing in the moment, it would help her mission. Yet, it should make her future as someone of fame and importance in the Force uncertain—so that option is also self-sacrificial. Thats the choice she has to make.

And when she makes the right one, we see, not that she got to Be Somebody and vanquished her fear of "dying a nobody" from the first time we met her—

—but that she's not even afraid of that anymore. It's okay to "die a nobody," if everyone else is better off. Because that was a self-focused fear, anyway, and it no longer has power over her. (For lots of reasons—one of which being she now has friends.) Character growth. Star Wars.

Finn

Good Can Win if We Focus on Saving Loved Ones Instead of Destroying Hated Ones --> Tempted to Get Revenge, But Sacrifices Revenge to Save Someone Else he Loves

This means Finn is focused on getting something/keeping something that will provide aid/protect the people he has come to love. Most of his screen-time can be focused on this, to build on showing how far he's come. He should have multiple opportunities to run away, whether it be from First Order troops attacking a Resistance base, or from the scene of a conflict when a rescue mission goes sideways—but instead he keeps staying in dangerous situations to help loved ones.

My favorite scenario to place him in, for this, is in a covert-ops mission where he's infiltrating First Order stormtroopers. He already knows the system, but we've only seen him exploit that knowledge when it's to save his own skin/cause hurt to the people who abused him in the First Order. He doesn't like to be around First Order troops because he hates them/he's afraid of them. But in Episode 9, after TLJ, I'd be showing Finn, choosing to stay where he's surrounded (even if unknown) by people who could uncover his true identity and kill him at any moment—and doing it because it protects the Resistance, in some way. I'd also broaden that focus—he's specifically doing it because it helps the larger cause, not necessarily because his actions will directly save anyone he loves, like Rose or Poe or Rey.

But—at some point in this movie, someone he's attached to dies. I think the most obvious choice is Rose, but she was the one who taught him about avoiding hate and saving loved ones. Revenge for Rose would be far from what Rose would want, so it wouldn't tempt him. So instead I think it should be either a new character that he spends most of the first act of Ep. 9 bonding with believably—or it should be Poe.

Poe, or a stormtrooper he really likes who has just come around to leaving the First Order when she is brutally killed. (I do think Poe, or someone we've seen him "grow up" with throughout the first two films, should be the one to die because otherwise it wouldn't be as tempting for Finn to get revenge, at this point in his arc.)

Then Finn pursues revenge, near the climax of the film. But at the last second, a-la-Luke-tossing-away-his-lightsaber, Finn gives up the opportunity for that revenge and does something else. Something useful, that saves Resistance lives, but causes the person he was about to exact revenge upon to escape.

That's how we see that Finn has come full circle—not only is he willing to stay when things get frightening and hard, and not only is he willing to fight for people he loves...but he's willing to act out of that love, not hate, because of what he's learned.

Poe

A Leader Sacrifices for the Greater Good of Others, Not For His Own Pride  --> Tempted to Make a Hero's Stand; Gives Someone Else the Opportunity Instead

This one is tricky because it's hard to make a scenario where a leader makes a choice that is exciting to watch...when the choice is "don't make a heroic last stand."

It's tricky. It's not impossible. (Rian Johnson did not see anyone up for failure. The TROS storytellers just refused to problem-solve when it got hard. Thats all I'll say about TROS.)

Basically, this means that Poe needs to start the film out at the head of the Resistance. He's still going on missions, but his role in those missions is coordination. One team gets to be the distraction—another team saves the day. Then when both teams are done with their missions, and it looks like they'll give their lives for those missions because there's no way out, in drops Poe. He's been coordinating everything; he's just the getaway car driver.

Then there's fun banter scenes where he reports back to Leia, she's critiquing some of the messy parts of the plan but ultimately proud of him, they bounce ideas off each other, and it's clear it still rubs him the wrong way not to be on the frontlines, but he's enjoying parts of the new challenge of leadership anyway. And they're closer than ever.

Eventually, however, Leia is captured, just before the climax of the film. Like Finn, Poe drops everything the Resistance has been working toward and is intent on saving her, and he's taking a very active role in that. But then, due to her own reminder, he chooses to abandon rescuing her at a pivotal moment to do something that will ultimately turn the tide in the Resistance's favor during the climax. He lets Leia make the sacrifice, and he himself is making the sacrifice of getting to save her and have her back, for the greater good. It's a harder path, but it's one she was preparing him for this whole trilogy.

All of this is if Poe doesn't die to further Finn's arc.

Kylo Ren

It's Better to Destroy the Past in Conquest Than Face My Failures --> I Was Wrong

Biggest one.

Kylo Ren is on the Dark Side because he believed that he was destined to be a monster, nobody would keep loving him if that was his destiny, and leaning into that destiny would help him escape the hurt that nobody-loving-the-"destined"-him caused.

I'm not going to elaborate on that, it's as plain as the nose on his face if you watch the movies and listen to what his family members say about him and what he says about himself. That's why he embraced the Dark Side.

But Rey, Chewie, and Leia are still alive, and all three of them can claim to know the "real him," and try to convince him that he was wrong—he was never destined to be a monster, and they do love and believe in the real him, no matter what he's done.

However, he isn't likely to believe them. He's least likely to believe Leia—she sent him away before he'd done anything wrong, and he has now done many things wrong that are singularly hurtful to her. He's second-least likely to believe Chewie, because he killed Chewie's best friend and Chewie shot him (and also, it's not compelling for the audience for Kylo Ren's mind to be changed by a character that doesn't speak English or emote with human facial expressions.)

He's most likely to believe Rey. Because 1) she did not kill him even after he chose to be a monster all over again, and she could've done what Luke almost did and prevented more monstrous deeds by killing him while he was unconscious. And 2) on a deeper level, she never knew "Ben Solo." She only ever knew the monster, and yet she's still choosing to tell him that he's not stuck as a monster.

So. The movie should start with Kylo Ren as Supreme Leader, doing his utmost to gain power, crush the Resistance, and wipe out any reference to the New Republic or the Jedi. But the key difference is that he's not singlemindedly focused on Rey and Leia and killing them anymore. That's not because he's grown from his "I want every gun to fire on my Uncle" obsessive flaw. It's because he finished TLJ by being closer to regretting his decisions than ever before. In his subconscious, he's afraid of encountering Rey or Leia directly ever again, because now he knows how weak his own resolve is, at this point. He'd rather avoid a direct fight unless he knows he can withstand "the pull to the Light." (He's not admitting any of that to himself.)

So he starts the movie on a mission. But now we enter our bad guys.

Hux.

Hux has only ever existed in these movies to be a counterpoint to Kylo Ren. Where Kylo Ren is explosive, emotionally led, and tangles his personal interests up in the interests of the First Order—Hux is calculating, a strategist, and dedicated to the First Order's cause.

He's at his most passionate when giving speeches about the First Order's might, or when that might is being mocked, or when it is being misused. And he has always hated Kylo Ren. In the script for the Force Awakens, in Hux's introductory scene, it literally says "Hux hates Kylo Ren." That's what he's there for. To be everything to the First Order that Kylo Ren is missing—dedication to the cause, and finding his own sense of pride in that cause—and to hate Kylo Ren. So. When Kylo Ren gets to be Supreme Leader, and his personal issues are jeopardizing the whole First Order? Hux is going to put a stop to that. He doesn't have the Force. But he has control over his strategic mind, and he knows that Kylo Ren's weakness is his emotions.

So, Hux orchestrates some kind of scenario where they learn Rey's location, or next-known location. She's going after some important tech or artifact that could turn the tide of the war. Hux purposefully pokes at Kylo Ren's ego, and maybe faintly suggests that Ren is avoiding a confrontation with the girl who beat him twice and "murdered the Supreme Leader," until Kylo Ren flies off determined to get to the artifact or tech Rey is after first—and prove he's willing to kill her in the process. To himself, and the First Order.

Then Hux orchestrates an Order-66-style assassination attempt on the Supreme Leader with a group of loyal troopers. It should be in a starship flight over the planet Rey is on—Kylo Ren wouldn't believably be overcome in any other scenario. And he takes out almost all of his would-be traitor assassins during the attempt, anyway. But his ship does crash, and Hux takes the mantle of Supreme Leader, and our other heroes spend most of their time dealing with this rabid strategist and his war plans.

Meanwhile, Rey finds Kylo Ren who is barely alive and has to do something to save him. That something should, like I said above, cost Rey something. She should lose a particular Force-ability, or be permanently disabled in some (easily-hidden) way as a result of healing him—or she should lose an artifact, or lose something that would've boosted her identity as Savior of the Galaxy down the road.

But I wouldn't let Kylo Ren figure any of that out right away. For tension, I'd have him remain unconscious for the entirety of Rey saving his life and sacrificing something to do it. Then I'd have her need to hide him, then leave the scene, because she's still on a mission, and Hux has sent the Knights of Ren on the same mission. Then later, Kylo Ren can come to, catch up with her, and they can come to an agreement on looking for the thing they came for together, fighting the Knights of Ren along the way—even if they both know that this alliance will only last until they find the thing they each came to this planet for.

Kylo Ren has closed himself off to any Force bond with Rey. He's stubbornly insisting that he's using her—she's a means to an end. She's quietly certain that he'll come around, but she's not pushing it this time. She'll do what she has to do when they reach the end of their mission, but she's not worried about it. And she hasn't told him, or is hiding from him, the fact that she saved his life again. Because she knows, now, that he's not ready to hear any pleading or reasoning about coming to the Light. He has to get there on his own, and she can't force him (get it?)

They have lots of tense conversation and interesting team-up moments and almost-friendship, almost-betraying each other moments the whole time. Like they're in the Hunger Games in an alliance. Until eventually, the First Order's forces are converging on them (knowing both are alive) and Leia arrives—apparently to rescue Rey—and Kylo Ren, determined by this time not to let Rey go in any sense again, especially not to let her get to the end of her mission first, tries to board the Millenium Falcon and stop her. But it was a trap. Leia allows Rey to take a small craft to the end of her mission, while she and Kylo Ren face off. Leia won't let her son get in Rey's way if he's determined to stay on the Dark Side—and she certainly won't let him get the tech/artifact that might restore him to being the Supreme Leader.

(This whole standoff-stalemate-Leia trapping Kylo Ren in a ship with herself can be what Poe initially wants to save her from, too.)

Basically, at this point, whipping out her knowledge of Rey saving his life and pointing out that Rey believes in Ben Solo even after never having met him, Leia changes Kylo Ren's mind about all of it. If not for Rey and what Rey has shown him with her patience and steady faith, Leia wouldn't have been able to do this. But it works, and Kylo Ren leaves the Millenium Falcon as Ben Solo, finally, and he's determined to help Rey, who is racing toward the artifact/tech/final battle.

This is the bare bones. I'd add in or decide between a lot more elements—what is Hux's plan to wipe out the Resistance, what is the thing Rey/Kylo Ren are after, how does infiltrating Stormtroopers help the Resisrance in stopping whatever Hux is doing, does Finn have the Force, what're Chewie and the droids doing during all this, does Leia die at any point during her attempt to change Kylo Ren back, and is the final battle between Rey/Ben and the Knights of Ren? Or just one Knight of Ren who became the leader when they decided to turn on Kylo Ren and work with Hux? Or is the final battle against Hux and his forces?

I'd answer all those questions and try to do it in a way that interconnects Finn, Poe, Rey, and Rose's storylines. But this is just the bare bones of it all.

The conclusion is the tricky part. I don't think killing Kylo Ren works, even if he's redeemed. Not only because he's the last of the Skywalker/Solos. But because killing him makes Leia, Han, and Luke's hope for him feel kind of hollow. Especially if Leia dies to bring it about, which Han did already. "Our little Ben got to come back to the good side...for the last ten minutes of his life! Yaaay we always knew he could do it" NOPE. That's silly. And also, it's bad for his arc. He's a character that has been running from his bad decisions, thinking that stacking more and more on top of them will satisfy him. So what he needs is not a heroic-death-shaped back door out of the consequences of those bad decisions. He needs to face them.

And I also think, depriving Rey, a character who always wanted to stop being alone, of an organic if difficult relationship with someone who understands her, is a dissatisfying conclusion for the main character.

It would be best to have him live. And then he needs some difficult, but ultimately hopeful road ahead to mending his mistakes. Obviously the whole galaxy would be baying for his blood as justice, if they knew that the former Supreme Leader lived. So he probably needs to assume a new identity, just to avoid being executed for his crimes. (I don't think any Resistance member who knew Leia would be on board with executing Kylo Ren, once the war is over and they have to make that decision outside the heat of battle.)

Then he needs to do something that helps repair the wrongs he's done...but it should be something that costs him, personally. If he's come to value Rey as the only person left in the galaxy he cares about, I'd actually end the movie separating him from Rey. Not forever—because that would be as unsatisfying as killing him—but for the foreseeable future. Then I'd send him on a pilgrimage of some sort that will undo some things he's done. Obviously he can't bring back the lives he's taken. But, maybe whatever cataclysmic artifact or thing they were after did some damage across the galaxy during the climax—and Ben Solo can figure out how to reverse that damage, or repair the thing, but it'll be a long, hard road.

I might send Chewbacca with him. But that's it. It's basically atonement-exile, in disguise. In the meantime, Rey wouldn't be alone because she'd be with Finn and Poe (if he lives) and all her Resistance friends. And they'd start finding homes for the refugees from the war. I wouldn't directly end on Rey starting a Jedi school—not by herself. Only if she's doing it with Finn, or with Finn and Leia if Leia lives. Because again, we're going for "it ain't all about you and who you are, Rey."

That's what I'd do. Feel free to use this as a template or a springboard for your own ideas, (and hey send them to me if you do) because basically anything would be better than what we got with TROS. But this is just what I would do, bare framework.

[kenora-pizza]

My Thoughts on "Emily in the middle"

Based off a conversation I had w/@mean-scarlet-deceiver in the comment section of this post of theirs, because Tumblr comments have a word limit that I wasn't aware of, and I'm in the mood to speak my mind on this.

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Alright. So. Emily in the middle. The last appearance of Donald and Douglas in the TV show, and imo, a pretty crappy one too. The Caledonian twins, (Donald in particular) are my favourite TTTE characters for multiple reasons, and there are many things in this episode which irritated or straight up pissed me off. And I've been holding these feelings in for months.

Now, to be fair, I did like some things about this episode. The visuals are gorgeous, and I love how they brought back the twins' season 20 theme from 'Love me tender.' They also carried over this thing introduced (and heavily featured) in 'Love me tender' where Donald acts like he knows better than Douglas, much to the latter's frustration. I REALLY wish they could elaborate further on this in another episode. Like maybe this behavior has been a constant but only now is it getting worse. Maybe this behaviour is related to the fact that Donald had to smuggle Douglas into Sodor, and started thinking of himself as the one who had to take charge and keep them both safe. Maybe it's from some sorta paranoia Donald developed regarding their status on Sodor, and for some time after the events of "Deputation," he still felt the need to protect and ensure that Douglas would remain on Sodor. (I don't know, I just came up with this). And the episode concept itself can be considered humorous, but imo, it would have been better with Bill, Ben and maybe Boco, Mavis or Edward.

First off, might as well get the obvious out of they way. The twins are HORRIBLY out of character in this episode. From the get-go, they're arguing about anything and everything, to the detriment of them and the engines around them. The TV show, especially in the CGI era, unfortunately started shifting them towards the very overdone trope of "They're twins and they argue a ton," but they went the whole way with it on this episode and it's flipping awful to watch. Especially at the end, when poor Emily got derailed by a snowball (while we're on the subject of that how the flying fuck did that thing get so big so quickly?) and they started blaming each other for the accident instead of helping or apologizing to her. Also doing seriously irresponsible things like stopping a HUGE ASS train on the main line and blocking the Express, and stopping the same train on a steep incline and leaving Emily to hold it while they bickered and chased each other up the hill. I mean honestly, they were acting more like Bill and Ben: Indistinguishable twins who frequently argue with each other over petty bullsh!t. The Caledonian Twins are absolute badasses who get sh!t done and clearly love each other very much. So why ruin them like this, Mattel?!

Second off.....this is something to do with a specific event (Brace yourselves for a long-ass explanation). In "Break Van," one of the notable events is Donald ramming a signal box (I'll explain). It's played off as an accident, but the book HEAVILY implies that this was intentional, with the line "But Donald didn't say what he was sorry for. We know, don't we?" and Douglas saying "Anyone would think, that Donald had his accident on purpose!" That's a huge wink wink from the book to the readers. And when you stop and think about it, Donald's motivation for this becomes clear. Think about everything that has happened to them thus far. Smuggling Douglas onto Sodor gave both of them a lot to lose, Douglas especially. By the time "Break Van" happens, Douglas has screwed up twice. And then the cherry on the top comes in the form of that motherf%^king Spiteful Brake Van making him late. At this point, the twins KNOW that Douglas is in TFC's black books and would be the one sent home after the trials if nothing is done. So to make TFC's decision more difficult, Douglas would either have to do better, or Donald would have to do worse. Donald chooses the latter option and it works, with TFC explicitly confirming this.

Now, In EITM, Douglas has been telling Emily about various incidents involving Donald from past seasons, and eventually start talking about the signal box incident. And given the significance of that event........it felt pretty darn scummy to hear them making light of that. That made me feel uncomfortable. Like... it's less "heehee, Donald is clumsy" and more "Donald purposefully injured himself and destroyed NWR property in an effort to keep his brother safe." I can see why Donald would be especially angry about this. It couldn't have been painless ramming into that signal box or fun getting lectured by Sir Topham Hatt, only for his brother to make light of it by laughing about it behind his back with another engine. And while we're on the topic, considering the bond between these brothers you cannot, in ANY WAY, convince me that Douglas would EVER talk sh!t about his brother behind his back to another engine. EVER.

Last off.....god, I REALLY feel for Emily in this episode. She may not be one of my absolute favourite characters, but she didn't deserve this, at all. I actually do like the idea of Donald, Douglas and Emily being a fun little trio, and I wish that it could have been done here.

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Ok wow, this turned out way longer than I expected for my first written Tumblr post. I hope people actually read this. If you reached the end, thanks for reading.

Also, if you wanna see something funny related to EITM, @jammyjams1910 did a fan dub of some scenes from the episode which had me laughing my ass off.

-Kenora

[buckybarnesthehotshot]

Everyone’s Favorite Interview Crasher (Daniel Ricciardo x Ferrari Driver! Reader)

|main masterlist|

summary: daniel crashes y/n’s post-race interview

word count: 848

a/n: i feel like this man was just all over the place this weekend, i love it sm

        “Daniel Ricciardo, you pulled off climbing to P5 from P16, how do you feel about that?” y/n questioned, turning to Daniel with the mic she was initially being interviewed with. The camera crew laughed at the two drivers as they watched the antics unfold. 

        Both their press officers shared a look, already aware of how unproductive things were bound to be whenever the two were put together. 

        “Oh, uh,” he chuckled as y/n pushed the mic to his mouth, “It was great, you know. The team did really well, and the conditions were a bit tricky, but we managed to push through. I mean you did great as well! You were literally on the podium earlier.” 

        “We aren’t talking about me, Daniel Ricciardo,” she tried her best to deadpan her voice, unable to keep her giggles in. 

        “You know you don’t have to keep saying my name, right?” Daniel laughed. They probably looked ridiculous at that point. A Ferrari and a McLaren driver, both laughing as they derailed their interview. 

        “I like saying your name,” she shrugged, “Just rolls right off the tongue. Don’t you think, Daniel Ricciardo.” 

        Daniel shook his head with a chuckle before continuing, “I think I’m going to agree with you there, y/n l/n.” 

        “What message do you think you finishing this high up in the points sends to your team, Daniel Ricciardo,” she questioned jokingly, poking at the corner of his lip with her microphone. 

        “Ah, mate, are you trying to get us both in trouble here?” he chuckled before feigning going for a bite from the microphone. 

        “We’re already in trouble, you’re crashing my interview,” she reminded him, “Wait, Charles told me you did the same with him this weekend as well.” 

        “Ah, that’s me. Daniel Ricciardo, everyone’s favorite interview crasher,” he smiled proudly, “This is probably the fourth or fifth interview I’ve crashed this week, honestly. I don’t know how it keeps happening.” 

        “Far better than crashing your car, I guess,” y/n shrugged nonchalantly as both she and Daniel broke out in another fit of laughter, “Here’s to finishing today’s race. May every race after not be as tricky as this one was.” 

        “I second that.” 

        “Also, whose interviews have you disrupted this weekend? I’m curious about your kill count now.” 

        “Well, there was Charles, obviously. Russell George as well, then there was Max, and uh, Pierre and Yuki, I think.” 

        “You’ve been busy this weekend.” 

        “I have! Do you know how hard it is to find interviews to crash?” he stated sarcastically, though they were both aware it was almost a guarantee that there’d be a driver interview ongoing at any given moment on the track. 

        “Right, I respect the hustle,” y/n nodded, almost completely forgetting about the fact that she was meant to be in an interview. 

        “Since you’re both here already, how do you both feel after the race?” the interviewer questioned, a frail attempt of salvaging what had been left of y/n’s post-race interview. 

        “Tired,” y/n admitted bluntly, “But um, I know I could have done better out there, but I’m pretty happy with the outcome.” 

        “Oh, uh, I’m definitely very happy with the result earlier. It’s been a while since my last top 5, so the team’s pretty happy about that as well,” Daniel smiled. 

        “Been a long time coming as well,” y/n nodded along with Daniel, a genuine smile on her face at the thought of Daniel finally getting a good race result again.

        “Right? My last top 5, I think, was about a year ago?” 

        “Oh, really long time coming then,” y/n nodded, plastering a smile onto her face, “You deserve it, though. Maybe next time we can go wheel-to-wheel for a podium.” 

        “You’ve got the faster car anyways,” Daniel reminded her. 

        “Maybe I’ll get a bit of floor damage?” she suggested in a joking manner, “Really, though, I’m looking forward to seeing you in the points more.”

        “So demanding, this one,” Daniel shook his head jokingly, hand motioning to y/n, “But uh, yeah, definitely would like to be in the points more. Let’s just hope some of your Ferrari luck rubs off on me.” 

        “What luck?” y/n quipped. 

        “At the rate you’re going, we’re both going to end up unemployed by the end of the year.” 

        “Right, wouldn’t want that,” y/n shook her head, correcting her statement, “Ferrari is very lucky…” 

        She then muttered something incoherent, making Daniel burst out in a fit of laughter, confusing the interviewers. 

        “She just said that Ferrari was lucky to have her,” Daniel explained, gazing fondly upon her, “You know, I think you’ve been spending way too much time with me already.” 

        “Right, you should probably go get your own interview for me to crash,” she nodded, as he made his way towards where he was meant to be interviewed, she paused for a moment, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. 

        “What was that for?” 

        “I’m proud of you,” she smiled as he walked away, a wide grin on his face, “Congrats again, Daniel!” 

Bonus gifs i almost used for this post: 

F1 TAGS: @errrrrat (taglist open)​  

DANIEL RICCIARDO TAGS: @a-distantdreamer​ (taglist open)

[rriavian]

Why a Vortex? - The Corinthian in 1x10

This was intended to continue my last post about the Corinthian being smart about how he handled the fight with Dream but it got derailed so. Yeah. Still writing part 2. I'm gonna have to reorganise my blog to make things easier to find. As always this is show based because while I know comic spoilers I haven't read them yet. Is this also technically part 1 of a series of posts discussing the final convention confrontation?

Erm. I’ve already had to shift the theme of this so it might be.

I’m focusing on the plan to use Rose to fight Dream because I’ve always thought the plan itself was more than a little stupid. It might be because we never really understand enough about what a dream vortex is (which yeah I have thoughts about), but the whole ‘replace Morpheus as the heart of the dreaming’ always felt like an assumption rather than a truth. Rose can pull down barriers between dreams and, when taught to, restore them but she can’t control the dreams themselves. She can’t replace Dream. It's made very clear that her powers would destroy her too, eventually, alongside everything else.

This is a bit of an aside from the main point but, while I think the existence of a vortex is a massively unfair and sadistic phenomenon, I do think it serves to show what Dream is quite nicely. He’s not only managing the incredible amounts of information in the subconscious but he’s keeping it separate. Distinct. Preserving individuality.

He allows privacy.

You can yearn in peace, fear in peace, not alone but…protected. The most innermost self is allowed to remain hidden. But the vortex strips that away. It’s an invasion, a deconstruction.

But back to the main point.

So the Corinthian may (in my opinion) have a stupid plan. But it’s indicative of his own perspective and interpretation of Dream and links directly to why he’s rebelling in the first place. I don’t actually think he entirely believed that Rose could replace Dream. I think he thought she could wound him, maybe even kill him, but not become him. The Corinthian’s final taunt about being regretful he won’t be around to watch Rose destroy Dream is—interesting to me, because I never believed she really could, and I think even for the Corinthian it’s a lovely fantasy that he’s enjoying.

He wants Rose to force Dream to feel how he feels.

The Corinthian wants to set Dream up against his own terrifyingly powerful opponent. His own inescapable threat. He wants Dream to try and fight someone who’s already decided they’re against him and will not be swayed. Which is also interesting because it’s concentrating on the result, allows for an interpretation to go either way, compatible with both positioning Dream as wrong, or Dream as right. If Rose is right to destroy Dream then it suggests the Corinthian does understand why he’s being uncreated. But if Rose is wrong to do it, just as Dream is wrong to do it, then perhaps he wants Dream to understand that through the threat of a vortex.

Either way it’s an attempted lesson.

An attempted nightmare - at giving Dream one of his very own, to prey upon something the Corinthian thinks needs fixing in his creator. Arguably a nightmare that started the moment he decided to ensure Dream would remain trapped by Burgess for a significant length of time.

For all he told Lucienne she would be unable to change Dream, the Corinthian is still seemingly acting to argue his own case.

Perhaps deciding whether uncreation is right or wrong in the traditional sense isn’t the point at all. Or not the whole point. In the context of the rest of the exchange at the convention the Corinthian's original intent might have been a mix of critiquing Dream's reasoning as well as his chosen method of punishment. The core of that might be that it’s not actually about the morality of the decision (that’s a conundrum for the one making the choice) but more the feeling of the one being acted upon. To me, his point is more 'your reasons make sense to you but your actions in response to them are still wrong' and I've got a 100 year long thesis on why I am actually still performing my function perfectly.

Here is my presentation on my conclusions so glad you can attend.

But Dream's response, while giving more of an explanation as to why those conclusions are wrong, essentially is 'yeah no you haven't proven what you think you have, you may have actually proven you're worse, and I'm still going to uncreate you'

So the Corinthian is like fine.

Here's my back up thesis have fun dealing with a vortex.

So then we get the 'I'm only sorry that I won't be around to watch Rose do the same to you' line.

You could say that when the Corinthan's attempt at demonstrating why he's right doesn't work he closes the attempt at a dialogue entirely. The nightmare/lesson he's set up will still come to pass though. Last words are important, and these are the one's the Corinthian chooses. He’s making his rejection clear by supporting Rose, but also still wants Dream to understand him, chooses words that allow him both. Even if his creator still doesn't understand his position, the Corinthian has found someone else who is going to make him understand it.

In the end he at least wants Dream to see that whether right or wrong it's a position of complete powerlessness.

No agency, no recourse to alter one's fate; it’s uncreation, it’s complete destruction, and that’s what really matters about it. The Corinthian wants Dream to really feel that. To feel something other than what he sees as ‘just another Tuesday as the ruler of the Dreaming’ because to the Corinthian that final moment is everything. Right or wrong it’s wiping away all that he is. The last line is his way of being like 'see how you like it'.

It’s ‘you destroyed me’.

It’s ‘You destroyed me and I wish I could stick around long enough to finally watch you understand the desperation of what that feels like’.

[wingsoverlagos]

Lewisohn vs. Sheff, revisited

David Sheff's 1980 interview of John and Yoko was the first source I thoroughly plumbed for comparison to Mark Lewisohn's Tune In. It was interesting, engaging, and, most importantly, available at my library, so I picked it as my not-quite-arbitrary starting point.

My source was All We Are Saying (2000), the book made of this interview transcript. At the time, I was asked if there was a chance the discrepencies I'd found were actually errors or changes on the part of Sheff. I didn't think it was likely. In two of his citations to this source, Lewisohn notes transcription errors in All We Are Saying, so surely he would've done that with any other errors he encountered.

Wrong! I came across a YouTube video with 3+ hours of audio from this interview, which allowed me to properly check several of these citations against the source. This is not the full interview audio--I believe it's a supercut of the clips from the Sheff interview that were used in Elliot Mintz's Lost Lennon Tapes radio series--but roughly half of the quotes Lewisohn used are included.

Most of the differences I found between the audio/All We Are Saying were minor, with one exception. I've taken down my original posts and compiled all my updated comparisons here. I've retained some of the images from All We Are Saying where I feel they are still useful in addition to my own transcripts/links to the available audio.

I'll lead with that "one exception", and put the other updates under a cut. This is the notorious "Hitting females" quote, and the audio has introduced quite the puzzle

Tune In 10-9 vs. Sheff (1980) 2:12:10

Lewisohn's version above, Sheff's (2000) version below. I initially assumed Lewisohn had made up the first line of his version of the quote (highlighted in pink), and stuck it onto an actual quote from the interview (yellow). Rather than bringing any clarity, the audio muddies the water further. Take a listen. Audio transcript [emphasis mine]:

JL: That’s Paul and me. His main lick, but lots of the words and parts and bits from me and possibly the others in the studio. All that [sings] “I used to be cruel to my woman and beat her…” That’s me because I used to be cruel to my woman physically. Any woman, y’know. I was a hitter. I couldn’t express myself, and I hit. I fought men, I hit women. I was violent. That’s why I’m always on about peace, you see, it’s the most violent people who go for love and peace, and I sincerely believe in love and peace, but I am absolutely a violent man who has learned not to be violent and regrets his violence. [Sheff interrupts] DS: …the chorus or just the idea for it? JL: Is this Getting Better? Getting Better is his chorus and then both together writing the sort of Chuck Berry-ish sounding, but I know that input about beating was from me and references to school and things like that.

This is the discussion of "Getting Better"--in All We Are Saying, this is where John says the line quoted by Lewisohn. But John Lennon does not say, "I will have to be a lot older before I can face in public how I treated women as a youngster." Not in this context, at least. There are condensed/other edits to some of the Lost Lennon Tape clips (see the discussion of Tune In 16-8, below), but there's no cut here. Sheff spends most of the clip trying to interrupt John, and at the place in the audio where we should hear the "youngsters" quote, John and Sheff have a brief exchange--if there was a cut here, I don't see how it wouldn't be obvious.

So wtf is happening here? I can see two possible scenarios: (a) John does say the "youngsters" line, possibly with Lewisohn's "Hitting females" line, elsewhere in the interview, and Sheff decided to wedge it into this part of the transcript; (b) John never said that, and Sheff, perhaps feeling a tinge of guilt for persistently trying to derail John's train of thought, made up a line that he thought nicely summed up John's remorse.

If scenario b is true, it's farcical--Lewisohn would be quoting a fabricated John Lennon quote, and then further fabricating his own addition. But who can say? If you have audio of this quote--or if you're David Sheff and would like to explain things to me--I would be indebted if you sent it my way.

The rest of the less-interesting audio comparisons are below the cut.

Tune In 3-6 was originally noted as having minor errors; Lewisohn's transcript was actually correct, so it's been removed from the original post.

Tune In 9-13 vs. Sheff 1980 (1:44:28)

The changes I originally noted are actually faithful to the audio source. There's one minor change made in Tune In vs. the audio: the sentence ending in "bitter" doesn't end, but continues, "and the underlying..." The audio segment cuts off before the final sentence/fragment, "It was very traumatic for me."

Tune In 16-8 vs. Sheff 1980 (1:47:26)

As it appears in Tune In:

This one took some puzzling. In the audio on YouTube, there are four different versions derived from two separate retellings of this story. Numbered in order of appearance, there's Version 1, Version 2, Version 3, and Version 4. Version 3 and 4 are two separate retellings of the same story. Version 1 is the same as Version 4, with a small omission early in the clip. Version 2 is cut together from parts of Versions 3 and 4. The quote that appears in Tune In is closest to Version 4, which I've transcribed here:

I would say to the others, when they were depressed, or we were all depressed, y’know, thinking the group was going nowhere and this is a shitty deal, and we’re in a shitty dressing room. I’d say, “Where are we going, fellas?” and they’d go, “ To the top, Johnny” in pseudo-American voices, and I’d say “Where’s that, fellas?” and they’d say, “To the toppermost of the poppermost,” and I’d say “Riiiight.” And then we’d all sort of cheer up.

There’s an unmarked omission after the first “When,” “are” is dropped between “Where” and “we,” “Johnny” is added at the end of the “poppermost” bit, and there are a few small omissions in the second to last sentence. I’ve underlined the last sentence in yellow because it’s still up in the air. It isn’t in any of the above clips, but that doesn’t mean much, since they all cut off where it would otherwise appear. It also isn’t in All We Are Saying, so I’m somewhat inclined to believe it’s a Lewisohn Original, but that's only a hunch.

Tune In 16-15 vs. Sheff 1980 (25:51)

Tune In above, All We Are Saying (p.23) below. My transcription [parts quoted in Tune In emphasized]:

There was a lot of drinking and carousing when we were in Germany, but the stories built out of all proportion. Over the years, they became like legends, you know. If you go to Hamburg now, you’ll hear stories you won’t believe, about me and the other guys and the other rock ‘n’ rollers from Liverpool that were ther

I've retained the original screenshot from All We Are Saying; as you can see, both Sheff and Lewisohn took some liberties there. In Tune In, much of this quote is omitted without indication; what Lewisohn does use is chopped and moved around. I really don't hear the emphasis he puts on "boy's fun," either.

Tune In 21-3 vs. Sheff 1980 (1:19:24)

I originally speculated that this quote was invented by Lewisohn, or at least very loosely based on a kinda similar section about New York. But John does actually wax poetic about France, though Lewisohn’s version still has some problems.

My transcription [parts quoted in Tune In emphasized]:

When I first went to Paris, I was about 21-or actually, I was 21 in Paris, but- The thing was all the kissing and the holding that was going on in Paris. It was so romantic just to be there and see them even though I was 21 and sort of not romantic. I really loved it, the way people would just stand under the tree kissing, and they weren’t mauling each other, they were just kissing.

There’s an unmarked omission after “was so romantic.” The audio clip cuts off after “they were just kissing,” so it’s possible John said the “I really loved it” line again, but it may just be cut-and-pasted from the middle of the quote.

Tune In 28-41 vs. Sheff 1980 (1:51:13)

My transcription:

That’s Paul’s song. He was trying to write a ‘Soldier Boy’ like the Shirelles track. He wrote that in Germany or when we were going to or from Hamburg and back. I don’t think-- I might have contributed something. I can’t remember anything in particular, it was mainly his song.

Sheff's transcript is mostly correct here.

The final sentence in Lewisohn’s quote is fine, but his “I think we helped him a bit” is of his own invention. John says “I don’t think—I might have contributed something,” which is substantially different in certainty, along with who might have helped Paul--"I" meaning John, or "we", meaning the rest of the Beatles.

Tune In 30-2 vs. Sheff 1980 (1:51:32)

Tune In above, All We Are Saying (p.168) below

My transcription:

in the other bedroom in my house at Menlove Avenue in Woolton which was my auntie’s place, the suburbs. I remember the day and the pink eiderdown on the bed…

Both Sheff and Lewisohn omit "in Woolton" as well as "the suburbs"--can't have John Lennon living in the 'burbs! Lewisohn also omits "my house", and brings "auntie's place" forward in the quote.

Tune In 33-18 vs. Sheff 1980 (1:48:15)

This quote appears in the endnote text itself:

My transcription [parts quoted in Tune In emphasized]:

Well, I can’t say I wrote it for George in that way. I was in the first apartment I’d ever had that wasn’t shared by fourteen other students, gals and guys at art school. I’d just married Cyn, and Brian Epstein gave us his secret little apartment that he kept in Liverpool for his sexual liaisons separately from his home life. And he let us- Cyn and I have that apartment. And my mother had always—she was a comedienne. And a singer, but not professional, but y’know, she used to get up in pubs and things like that. And she had a good voice, she could do Kay Starr and all the rest. She used to do this little gag called—that apparently she’d done to me when I was one year old and two year old, when she was still living with me, which was from a Disney movie, [singing] ‘Want to know a secret? Promise not to tell. You’re standing by a wishing well’ Okay? That’s from a Disney movie. So, I had this sort of thing in my head and I wrote it, and just gave it to George to sing. I thought it would be a good vehicle for him cause it only had three notes, and he wasn’t the best singer in the world, he’s improved a lot since then, but in those days, his singing ability was very poor because (a) he hadn’t had the opportunity and (b) he concentrated more on guitar playing than writing songs and singing. So I wrote that sort of--not for him as I was writing it, but as soon as I’d written it, I thought, “He could do this.”

This may seem like a whole lotta transcript for a one sentence quote at the very end, but it will be relevant soon. For now, the sentence itself--I don't consider it erroneous to omit false starts, so that in itself isn't a problem, but Lewisohn corrects John's false start by introducing phrasing he didn't use. He also omits "as I was writing it."

Standard Lewisohn Probs, nothing to write home about, but I paid closer attention to the body text that goes with this citation, and I noticed another issue. Here's the passage from Tune In:

Check out the highlighted passages. "Do You Want to Know a Secret" is "first-born" in the Lennon-McCartney songwriting partnership as codified by Brian Epstein. This is odd. How, exactly, does Lewisohn know this was the first song to come out of this period? John doesn't give a date in the Sheff interview--he places the creation of this song at some point while he lived in Brian Epstien's Falker Street flat, where (cmiiw) he and Cyn lived for a few months. Lewisohn says, "Rarely lacking motivation anyway, the agreement was spurring Lennon and McCartney to step it up as composers, to generate songs the Beatles could use in the studio." To me, "step[ping] it up as composers" implies the creation of multiple songs in this time period, and if that's the case, how can we say "Do You Want to Know a Secret" came first?

It seems a strange thing to say conclusively, another trumped-up tally in the "John" column of Lewisohn's pointless Lennon vs. McCartney dick-measuring contest.

Sources:

Lewisohn M. 2013. The Beatles: All These Years Vol. 1: Tune In. New York (NY): Crown Archetype. [ebook]

Sheff D. 1980. Interview with John Lennon and Yoko Ono. Partial audio available from: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PRDfBGagFkU&t=1582s

Sheff D. 2000. All We Are Saying: The Last Major Interview with John Lennon and Yoko Ono. New York (NY): St. Martin’s Griffin. 229p.

[surielbonecarver]

I love Nesta idc idc

I love her difficult personality. She was interesting.

I understand that a lot of people hate her, but I've liked her from Book 1. From the moment all 3 sisters were going into the market and Nesta stepped in to shoo away the Children of the Blessed, and pulled Feyre aside to warn her to stay away from mercenaries, and especially when it was revealed that Nesta was so strong willed that Tamlin's glamor didn't work on her and that she went to those same mercenaries and tried to cross the wall to save Feyre. I knew instantly that I liked her.

So when Cassian was in her house in Book 2 talking about the past issues between Feyre and Nesta I was???? Confused??? Because didn't Feyre and Nesta move past that in Book 1???? Why is he bringing it up??? I thought we were over this??? And that has nothing to do with him? (Literally Rhys and Feyre weren't even dating yet, I think? So it was literally my sister's friend of a friend is talking shit in my house type of situation)

Sidebar: I wish any of my friends would take words out my mouth to talk shit about my siblings. Yeh, me and my siblings have beef sometimes, but that ain't got shit to do with you???? (Sidesidebar: I don't wanna see anyone trying to say "yeh but I bet your siblings didn't abuse you like Nesta did to Feyre". Stop. You don't know me, my siblings, or my life.)

ANYWAY lol

I, for one, am big on the idea of having a life away from your partner.

So Feyre's literal entire life revolving around the ic was a pass for me. And it actually annoyed tf out of me that Rhysand and The Pips (sry, Feysand and The Pips) were fighting so hard to make Nesta fit in. Because why? If you hate her so much, leave her alone. Don't want her spending your money? Send her somewhere else? The way they constantly verbally and mentally beat her down until she had no choice but to fit in had me grinding my teeth.

She's mean. So what? Amren's attitude was a million times worse than Nesta imo, the only difference is that Amren was a five thousand year old eldrich being the fey told bedtime stories to their kids about to get them to behave. No one says shit to Amren about her attitude because what tf are they going to do about it? Amren literally even says that she likes Nesta and her attitude because it was just like her. But the moment Nesta stops doing what Amren wanted her to do, now she all of a sudden has a problem with her attitude, lol.

We see there are a handful of examples within the books of people that have no problem at all with Nesta. It's literally just Rhys and The Pips that have a problem, and if Rhys has a problem then it's everyone's problem.

Literally.

We are literally told that Nesta was visiting Feyre, Elain, and Amren regularly on her own after acowar and that the only time she seemed to kick up a fuss is when she was being made to participate in ic gatherings. Sooooo.... besides Az, that means Rhys, Morgan, and Cassian were the problem. Rhys and Morgan very openly hate her, and after acowar she made it clear that she wasn't ready for whatever Cassian wanted from her, so she was avoiding him. And Nesta says herself that she didn't hate Rhys. She thought he was an asshole (because he is), but all in all she thinks he's a good male. (**she calls Rhys an asshole to Cassian, but after training when she sees Gwen/the priestesses move away from Rhys she notes how it made her sad (??) because he's a good male and would never hurt a female like that COUGH CHOKE)

Wow this post derailed from the main point

My point is: why does Nesta have to be nice/nicer? Why? And why is Nesta being blamed for everything bad that happened to Feyre when they were kids?

I'm not even joking. Every time Rhys did some shit to Nesta I was WAITING for Feyre to give him shit for it. Feyre does call him out for treating Nesta poorly on multiple occasions across FOUR (4) BOOKS (acomaf, acowar, acofas, & acosf) [I will say that it may only be called out in 3 books, but it's 3 at the very least]. And just when I think she's finally going to snap at him in acosf, it ends up being downplayed as a joke between Cassian and Rhys

Cass: oooh you know you're in trouble for what you did/said to Nesta... you send the staff away so they won't hear the wife nag at you?

Rhys: naaaah, I sent them away so they won't hear something else *suggestive eyebrow wiggle*

Bffr. Seriously? Did he really just sidestep the fact that he did something that obviously upset Feyre.... to fuck?

And the one and only time Rhys is called out specifically for how hypocritical it is for him to hate Nesta but be perfectly fine with Elain, he says that "Elain is Elain" bs (yall my blood ran so hot reading that line I had to put the book down for a moment). Like Rhys actually could've given about a thousand legitimate reasons for why he likes Elain but doesn't like Nesta, and he says THAT?

I'm not going to defend any of Nesta's actions cuz yeah she definitely was being a bitch for a good portion of the book, but also... she doesn't really owe them anything. Especially not her time or her kindness.

Listen. I'm of the opinion that no one owes anyone anything, so I don't wanna hear "well after Feyre did all that the least Nesta can do is blah blah blah—"

No.

I heard enough of that growing up. Enough of that, "I provided for you, so you owe me" bs (this isn't directed at Feyre specificly, since Feyre never actually asks Nesta for anything besides using her home for negotiations but that was a separate, unrelated occurrence). Absolutely not. Nesta didn't ask or tell Feyre to go into the woods. So why should Nesta owe Feyre for that?

I will also never forget how Feyre said Nesta and her were at each other's throats and were mean to each other. Feyre said that. So when people started hating on Nesta because Nesta was mean to Feyre, it felt very one-sided. Also because that detail is one of the many retcons in acotar. Like sjm literally forgot that she wrote that Nesta and Feyre were mean to EACH OTHER but also forgave each other and reached an understanding (all in Book 1), only in the very next book to take it all back.

[clairelsonao3]

Author Ask Tag Game

Thanks to @i-can-even-burn-salad @tabswrites and @mysticstarlightduck for this tag a few weeks ago, around the time I took a break from tag games. Back on the horse, though.

1) What is the main lesson of your story (e.g. kindness, diversity, anti-war), and why did you choose it?

I don't really "choose" lessons or themes. They emerge. But if Good Slaves Never Break the Rules had a lesson, it's probably about The Power of Love, not only romantic love, even though it's a romance, but love for our fellow humans and love for ourselves. And the power of choosing love over hate, despite how cruelly we may have been hurt in the past -- or how we may have hurt (or perceive that we have hurt) others.

2) What did you use as inspiration for your worldbuilding (like real-life cultures, animals, famous media, websites, etc.)?

The world of GSNBTR owes a lot to (mostly) fanfics with modern slavery AUs that I have read and enjoyed over the years. I basically took all my favorite elements from those stories, mashed them together, and threw in a few of my own unique touches. And of course, the worldbuilding has expanded from there, in many cases in much more detail than I imagined it would when I started.

3) What is your MC trying to achieve, and what are you, the writer, trying to achieve with them? Do you want to inspire others, teach forgiveness, help readers grow as a person?

My two MCs both start out with their separate goals -- her to get through university and become independent, him to find his sister -- which end up merging into one singular goal (save their loved ones and defeat the villain, essentially) by the end of the story. Learning to trust and work together is part of the journey they undergo, and with their individual strengths, they end up making an incredible team. So I guess demonstrating that is what I'm trying to achieve with them.

I want to make readers feel something. It doesn't even have to be necessarily what I feel, or what I set out to make others feel. If you feel anything -- love, fear, sadness, shock, hate, disgust -- while reading this, my work here is done.

4) How many chapters is your story going to have?

At this point (I just posted Ch. 27), I suspect not more than 40, give or take. (But take this with a grain of salt; the number has already expanded several times). We are in Act III and it's outlined in detail, with may of the scenes at least partially written, but I'm just not sure how long each chapter/scene is ultimately going to be and how and where they'll be divided. I have an idea of that, but I can't decide it ahead of time; I only know when I sit down to write and edit the chapters.

5) Is it fanfiction or original content? Where do you plan to post it?

Original (although I'm not afraid to admit there are some fannish elements/tropes to it) and I'm posting it on Ao3! It will eventually be an ebook as well. It probably won't ever migrate over to Tumblr, unfortunately, not only because of the time and energy that would require but also because the NSFW and romance elements make it much better suited for Ao3, I feel. Also, having it in one place only allows me to gauge exactly how many people have read it and engaged with it (not that that really matters, but still!)

6) When and why did you start writing?

When? As soon as I could pick up a pencil and string together letters on a page to form words. Why? Because telling stories is in my blood (literally; my dad is also a writer).

7) Do you have any words of engagement for fellow writers of Writeblr? What other writers of Tumblr do you follow?

Write what you want. It sounds simple, but I spent way too many years of my writing life writing what I thought OTHER people wanted, and it almost derailed my ability to write altogether because it made me so damn miserable.

For newer writers: If you find yourself beginning a writing question with the words "Is it okay to..." or "Can I..." just stop right there. The answer is "yes."

I follow more people than just about anyone I know and I think most of them are writers; it's in the 4 digits. So I'm going to put this question aside for now and start working on a post of my favorite Tumblr writers and stories, so for future similar questions, I'll be able to direct you to that.

This one was going around a few weeks ago and IDK who's done it so OPEN TAG!

Template under the cut

1) What is the main lesson of your story (e.g. kindness, diversity, anti-war), and why did you choose it?

2) What did you use as inspiration for your worldbuilding (like real-life cultures, animals, famous media, websites, etc.)?

3) What is your MC trying to achieve, and what are you, the writer, trying to achieve with them? Do you want to inspire others, teach forgiveness, help readers grow as a person?

4) How many chapters is your story going to have?

5) Is it fanfiction or original content? Where do you plan to post it?

6) When and why did you start writing?

7) Do you have any words of engagement for fellow writers of Writeblr? What other writers of Tumblr do you follow?

[aching-tummies]

Norovirus is going around a lot, you know. Sure would be a shame if your tummy started churning for no obvious reason and trying to evacuate itself from both ends....even worse if you ate soooo much food right as it was coming on so there's a heavy load to be sloshed around. What would you do in that situation? If you realized the rumbles were starting to unsettle your belly more and more, and the pain beginning to squeeze up sour burps?

o///o

Anon…are you a mind-reader? The idea of the stomach virus having a full tank to wreak havoc with has been a low-key fantasy of mine for ages. It's something I've never really been able to write scenarios for because I have little-to-no personal experience with stomach flu and/or vomiting.

In the realm of this blog, I'm not super interested in what happens at either end. My main fixation is on the torso and what's going on within so the idea of the stomach churning and cramping for hours and hours in vain is more my speed.

RP-Scenario below. Note that it is a work of fiction, not one of my stories inspired by real experiences.

"Unnngh…" I groan, doubling over as I press my arms against my stomach with all the force I can muster. Instant-regret. I can't help but whimper at the sharp pain that results from displacing the contents of my belly. Note to self: humans are not built like toothpaste tubes…you can't just squeeze and expect the goop to come out of whichever end.

I feel the thick mass of stomach contents surge back into place, my digestive organs straining from both internal and external pressure. Talk about a rock and a hard place for the walls of my stomach.

It's February…so Valentine's Day has been on everyone's mind for a while now. Considering how January came and went with no opportunities to get together, my partner and I decided to go all-out for Valentine's Day. We maanged to line up our respective work-schedules to get a day off in the vicinity of February 14. We were debating between ramen and all-you-can-eat sushi. In the end, "both is good" became our answer.

I suggested ramen for lunch. My stomach had been doing flips since the night before. I assumed it was just nerves for the date. I didn't want a nervous tummy ache derailing our date, so I skipped breakfast. As much as I love sushi and ramen, I opted for ramen for my first meal of the day because I thought broth would be easier on a nervous tummy. Also, with ramen, there's a defined end-point of the meal. I didn't trust myself to tackle all-you-can-eat sushi on a nervous tummy.

The ramen sat pretty heavy in my tummy all day, despite the broth. I felt pretty full after the ramen. Luckily, I was with good company, company enough to distract me from being hyper-aware of the state of my tummy all day. After the ramen, we walked around for a bit. We stumbled upon an arcade and played far too many rounds of some variation of DDR. I was beginning to suspect something was wrong when I still felt my stomach sloshing with the ramen and broth after such vigorous exercise. You'd think all that jumping and jostling would have coaxed my stomach to digest…but most of lunch was still sloshing around in my tummy.

We stopped by a library after the arcade--home turf for me as I grew up going to that library and used it often as a broke post-secondary student. We browsed the shelves for a while, shared book recommendations, and checked local events and seminars and whatever for things of interest. This library also has a really nice cafe in it. I brought them there and they got sucked in by a book I insisted they had to give a shot as it was what I had thought about when they shared some elements of an RPG they were playing months back. They were hooked. While they fell into a fictional world, I took the opportunity to sneak off to the washroom in the library to assess the state of my belly and to try and coax it into a better state.

Thank Heaven the washroom was single-stall and in a relatively low-traffic area of the library. I knew the place like the back of my hand and knew that this little corner was a haven for washroom emergencies. Luckily, I wasn't interrupted. I basically manhandled my guts, prodding and squeezing my belly as I tried to shake off the upset that was brewing. Something must have worked. I managed to get most of the ramen and broth to siphon into my intestines. It wasn't comfortable, but it was head and shoulders above feeling the warm slosh and wet tickle at the base of my esophagus all day. Yeah, my stomach was sore from the rough massage, but I had a date to finish and I wasn't going to let an upset tummy derail the long-awaited date.

When I rejoined my partner, they had decided to look into the book series I recommended. They put a hand on their tummy and it let out the most adorable grumble right at that moment. They told me they were hungry and suggested going for the sushi we had opted not to get for lunch. My tummy definitely wasn't up for more food…but I couldn't think of a non-embarrassing excuse, so I went along with it.

It is currently just passed 9PM. I got back from the date about an hour ago. I'm still in the cute outfit I agonized over all morning…not by choice. I usually hate wearing 'outside' clothes while I am at home, especially if I am alone as I am. Unfortunately, the last hour has been filled with a SNAFU that has taken my mind off of lounging clothing.

It's not a nervous tummy. It probably never was 'just nerves'. I didn't check my emails at all today, not wanting to be disrespectful to my date and all that…so I missed it.

Leah, one of my besties, and I had a bit of a 'study date' a couple of days ago. She's currently enrolled in a couple of courses that are supposed to help her in her career, and I'm debating going back to school for another degree/certification and hoping it'll help me land better job prospects. The two of us opted to study our respective fields together because we both focus better in a library-setting/away from home…and having someone we trust to watch our stuff if we need to use the washroom is a load off of our minds when the alternative has always been to use the washroom first, set up our study area, and tank it for maybe 2-4 hours until nature calls again or we get hungry or whatever.

Leah had forgotten her water bottle that day. Part of it was fear that it would spill on her laptop, so she had debated whether or not to bring it and ended up forgetting it on her kitchen counter anyway. We've been friends for more than a decade so we ended up sharing my waterbottle, passing it back and forth.

Leah emailed me this morning. Apparently, she's down and out with a nasty case of Norovirus. She spent all of the night making offerings to the porcelain throne. She emailed me to warn me that she could have been asymptomatic/incubating the virus when we shared the waterbottle…so…she told me to be prepared and to sanitize the bottle (her exact words, "kill it with fire")…the same waterbottle that I had brought on my date today…that I had drank out of multiple times today. Yeah…if I wasn't infected the day I was with Leah, I definitely must have done it to myself today.

The sushi is sitting like a hunk of cement in my stomach. Despite the upset tummy, I ate a lot. It was 'all you can eat' so I knew I was going to get my money's worth. Also, it would have been awkward to stop eating when my date was still going at it with gusto. Piece-by-piece, I loaded up my stomach like a novice tetris player. My poor stomach was packed like a tin of sardines by the halflway mark…and my date was still showing no signs of slowing down.

That leads us to now. I've been in and out of the washroom at least seven times in the last hour. I stopped counting around my fourth unproductive trip.

My stomach will clench and I'll feel a dizzying sensation, like a whirlpool has spontaneously manifested inside of my guts at some random point and is churning my stomach-contents at an alarming rate…and I'll race the combined nausea and urge to go to the washroom…with nothing to show for it.

I'm beyond frustrated right now. My tummy is packed so tight that it feels as rigid and solid as the bathroom counter I've been white-knuckling as I desperately try to get my churning stomach and clenching torso to agree on which end to eject the sick and stuff from.

All I have to show for my hour of frustration is what feels like a very bruised tummy (I've been really, really rough with it, trying to squeeze the mess to either end with no success) and a small handful of nasty, barely-there-belches. Sushi tastes great going down. Ramen tastes great going down. The aftertaste, should it come back up, is revolting. It's sour and salty, and the gross hot air I've coaxed up my throat honestly makes me wonder if warlocks are real and if one of them cursed me in such a way that my entire digestive tract did a 180. The taste of those burps is disgusting! If the taste of the hot air is bad, I don't even want to imagine the hell that's brewing in my stomach.

My stomach clenches painfully. Fresh tears race down my cheeks, squeezed out by my tightly-shut eyes as I bite my lip and white-knuckle the counter next to me. It hurts! Ithurtsithurtsithurts!

Twenty minutes later, the cramp ebbs with nothing to show for it. The tug-o-war in my digestive tract continues as my digestive organs try to decide which end will get the nastiness that continues to brew within. I can't decide between 'I'd kill for someone else's hands on my belly right now' vs. the image of clawing out my griping insides and wringing them out like a stubborn tube of toothpaste, pushing the sickly goop of norovirus and too-much-food out before re-inserting the guts where they belong.

[amageish]

Posting MCU-adjacent speculation on this blog feels like a dangerous precedent to set, but I gotta get this off my chest: Is Season 2 of What If? setting up, of all things, a MCU-ified take on the Captain Britain Corps?

So, we got a new trailer today and apparently Captain Carter and the Watcher are going to have some sort of unique bond in this season. Watcher is talking about there still being threats to the multiverse itself, he seems worried about that, and Carter and him even have this neat shot of them, together, watching the logo... It seems like it will be the Watcher and Carter specifically leading this charge to same the multiverse or the fabric of reality itself or whatever...

This British-themed-superhero trying to protect the world from multiversal threats reminds me of something...

In the comics, the Captain Britain Corps are a team of Captain Britains from across the multiverse who protect its integrity from universe-ending threats. Their debut in Alan Moore's Brian Braddock Captain Britain run established a lot of basic things that are taken for granted about the Marvel universe now - notably the concept of a Marvel multiverse where every universe has an assigned reality number. Yes, this very important idea comes from a Captain Britain comic of all places... Here's Spider-UK making a joke about it in End of the Spiderverse.

If some rando British dude named Brian getting to number the entire multiverse sounds kind of imperialist to you, then that's partially the point? Alan Moore is a satirist and his cape comics are often varying degrees of autocriticism - most famously with Watchmen, but his feelings about superhero media are kind of embodied in a lot of his work... This probably is a factor in why Brian's sister Betsy has taken the mantle more recently in the comics.

She is a Captain Britain rejected by the nation-state of Britain itself, with her role as a queer mutant woman Captain Britain being used for modern political commentary about how nationalistic symbols are weaponized by fascistic movements. Conservatives in Britain do not like Betsy, a queer female mutant, becoming Captain Britain because she is less easy to use as a fascistic rallying cry then the white British man who saves the multiverse. It's very meta, but well-done IMHO!

Now, Captain Carter is not a member of the Corps in the comics, but she did appear in Betsy's solo series earlier this year where she was briefly mind-controlled and Betsy had to break her out of it... They are still friendly with each other though.

In the MCU, if the Watcher is worried about threats to the multiverse and is going to be working with Carter specifically to solve them... I feel like it isn't too much of a stretch to say that she will be assembling a Captain-Britain-Corps-esque entity that consists of heroes from across the multiverse - though probably not specifically variants of Captain Britain like in the comics books, attempting to side-step the original comic's commentary on imperialism by making the team more diverse from the start.

I also think this could be how X-Men '97 is theoretically in the MCU Multiverse without annoying X-Men fans and disrupting that show's ability to operate as its own nostalgic throwback. What If? Season 2 could end with Captain Carter pitching the Corps to X-Men '97's Captain Britain (whether it is Betsy or Brian - it was Brian in the original show, but there's been a timeskip so I can see Betsy having taken the mantle over) in a cool artstyle-fusion sequence... and then multiverse business can just be a background thing that doesn't have to derail the main story X-Men '97 is wanting to tell. It's comic book accurate to have Captain Britain show up, be like "Sorry, love, I was dealing with multiverse stuff, what exactly is going on here?" and it'd get '97 easy MCU connection points (if being connected to the MCU is something that is good for the reputation of media at this point).

I don't know if any of this would be a good idea, but hey. It's a thought I had, I wanted to write it down to get it out of my head, and I figured I'd say it here in case it was interesting to anyone else... I'll close this post out with Betsy and her girlfriend Rachel... They are very cute.

[stackslip]

i'm screenshotting this post not bc i want to mock it or anything, like i completely disagree but also the rest of the post's tone was pretty personal so i didn't want to reblog with my own digressions and derail the op's intentions; genuinely much love to them. it's just that this kinda jumpstarted some thoughts along with that series of panels i collected in my last post.

i don't think fujimoto is making fun of fans, or of parasocial relationships in part 2. i think the hypercommodification of chainsaw man as a brand and celebrity in-universe IS meant to be ironic and cynical (as they quite literally consume pochita from inside out and weaken him), but i don't think fujimoto is making fun of the people themselves.

so far in part 2 there are several main themes standing out to me--lost/blurred identity is one, and i have many thoughts on that one, but so far the strongest theme has been alienation under the current system and how people cope with extreme isolation and with their longing/struggle to forge an intimate relationship and maintain it. the school setting is a play on some shoujo tropes, but it's also the greatest stage for this theme to play out because schools are inherently alienating spaces, particularly for kids who don't fit the norm in a certain way. fujimoto has commented on adultism and the structural struggles of children/teenagers before, especially re denji's lack of autonomy vs the adults in his life. the previous setting WAS an adult setting, an actual workplace and office with a uniform and all.

the current school setting is all teenagers--the only adult we've seen at the school so far was the teacher in chapter 98, and said teacher didn't even seem to be teaching properly, but rather using his friendliness as a way to groom female students. so far the school hasn't been a place of learning or even companionship, but a place of bullying and of kids being shaped into being the next devil hunters--and we've seen what devil hunting is as a job! it's a nightmare of exploitation and dehumanization! yet the devil hunter club seems to run the school council and practically the school itself, luring in orphans who want revenge on devils and kids who are not allowed a part-time job and need any way to make money to survive under the current system. and again, add to that the bullying asa and yuko endure with no outside intervention, the fact that students ARE clearly starving or struggling to survive, the fact that the only social circle seems to be, again, the fucking devil hunting club....

what i'm trying to get to here is that the characters in part 2 are deeply fucking lonely, in part due to teenage years woes, in part due to the way the current system and in particular the school system is set up. the bullying yuko endures is so severe that she considers that the only way to stop it is not only to kill the bullies, but raze the school itself. she tries to connect to asa through the only way she can think of--making a contract with a fucking devil. the fact that this is her first option says a lot about just how lonely and hurt she's been. yuko focuses on chainsaw man as a symbol of justice, an idealized figure who'd do her right, unlike any adult or even other teenage figure in her life who just let her and her newfound friend suffer.

we don't know much about harumi yet, but it feels like the devil hunting club is also an unofficial chainsaw man fanclub, which is partially how he became president. chainsaw man as a subject is a way for a lot of these kids to socialize, to form bonds through their admiration for him and through the shared culture and games around him. again we don't know shit about him but he clearly also struggles with wanting to be well regarded and forge connections, and his way of doing so is emulating an idealized superhero to the point of getting fucking surgery to be closer to him!

it's like. fujimoto is not making fun of "ridiculous fans", he's commenting on how HARD it is for people to form intimate relationships, and how they use parasocial relationships as a way to do so with others, or to emulate the sentiment. yoshida actually verbalizes it in the new chapter:

why even try anymore if you're just going to get hurt or lonely again? why not project onto this perfect stranger whose image becomes a mirror to whatever your fears and desires are?

and then there's denji, who IS chainsaw man and who can't imagine being loved as himself at all, so he doesn't try! he thinks exactly like all these other kids--no-one could like me for myself. so either i remain alone forever, or i forge a relationship through this dominant cultural and political figure that can be whoever and whatever people want: a hot celebrity, a monstrous force of chaos, a prince charming who'll rescue you from abuse and a terrible face, a justice dispensing warrior, an american spy.....

(also there's no doubt in my mind that's asa's own vocal distaste for chainsaw man plays a role in why she was alienated from her peers in the first place. the class president's first attempt to befriend her is by bringing up chainsaw man and then she just stands there awkwardly as asa tells her she can't stand him! chainsaw man has become such a cultural staple that by refusing to participate in said cultural staple, asa has further been estranged from her teen classmates.)

[anti-dazai-blog]

how do you deal with hate? like from what I understand, you posted your first "controversial" post knowing that people might hate you for it, and you did so anyways. even tho it might have felt like you were the only one who believed those things at the time. where do you get the confidence? cause honestly that was such a slay.

Like, obvi we all have our own opinions and I don't agree with everything you said but the confidence you had.. grrrr i like it so much 💗💗 i love it when people are real with their opinions.

okay ty, im sorry for rambling, gonna stop here now 😭😭

I really want to play it cool and say something like “I just don’t care what people think of me,” but honestly? Yeah I was terrified of posting my first BSD-related post.

I had been enjoying the BSD fandom from afar for about a year before posting anything about it. I’ve always had this personal pet peeve when (fictional or real) bullies get a free pass to be assholes when they’re conventionally attractive, but that applies to all fandoms, not just BSD and not just Dazai. 

(Note that that’s not a moral stance, there’s nothing wrong with liking a morally grey character, and there’s nothing wrong with finding a bad (fictional or real) person to be physically attractive. This pet peeve of mine stems more from how (fictional) bullies who aren’t attractive are seen as the biggest evil unleashed upon the world, while fictional bullies who are attractive are seen as The Ideal Boyfriend)

One day I saw a post pointing out one of the things Dazai did that bothered me, and I really wanted to add to it via reblog, but I was concerned I’d derail the original post, so I screenshot it and wrote a whole follow-up rant. 

Then I saved that post in my drafts for three days.

I posted something vague like “I really want to talk about this one character from this one fandom, but the fandom is very aggressive and they’d burn me at the stake if I said anything too controversial”

I don’t think I intended to explicitly tag it with anything searchable, but I must have said something like “#yeah this is about bsd those guys are scary”— apparently that counts as tagging it #bsd by tumblr’s standards, and someone from the bsd fandom (who I’m now mutuals with) responded with something like “most of us are nice! We wanna hear what you have to say!!” 

That was enough motivation for me to get that post out of drafts, and even then I didn’t post it immediately. I scheduled it to post for a time when I wasn’t home, so that if there’d be backlash I wouldn’t have to witness it live and I could just delete the post later.

Not only was there no backlash, but hardly anyone saw the post. Iirc it got between 3-5 notes. That was what gave me the confidence to continue talking about my (admittedly controversial) fandom opinions. 

My main blog is primarily a Shakespeare/Classic Lit blog, and the online fandom for those things encourages controversial opinions (as opposed to the standard anime blog, where it seems like posting controversy is a taboo). So once I had the confidence to interact with an anime fandom in the first place, it wasn’t too hard to post my controversial opinions, because that’s the internet culture I’m more used to.

As for how I deal with the hate, you’ll be glad to know there’s only one person on this entire site who sends (bsd-related) hate. If you’ve received any hate, it’s from her. So while I have received hate messages (everything ranging from “your blog sucks” to graphic suicide bate and murder threats), knowing it’s all from the same person makes it all pretty meaningless. Everyone else on tumblr just blocks what they don’t want to see, either by blocking blogs they’d like to avoid or by blocking tags for subjects that annoy them. 

Since I tag anything that speaks of Dazai in a negative way as “#anti Dazai,” I don’t often run into people who don’t want to see negative character analysis who’ve discovered my posts accidentally.

If you want to post about something, go right ahead! The people who enjoy the content you make will follow you, and the people who don’t will block you, and everyone will curate their own tumblr experience to make this site something we can all enjoy. Admittedly if the fandom you’d like to post to is bsd, you WILL get harassed by that one person, but everyone else in this fandom has gotten harassed by her too. We mostly just ignore her at this point. 

Posting controversial opinions to fandom spaces can be scary, but if you have something you’d like to post, go for it! I personally would recommend starting a side blog for it, that way if things really do get out of hand you could delete it easily without losing your tumblr account. But the most likely outcome is that it wouldn’t gain enough traction for anyone to be overly bothered by it. Controversial things are more often ignored than hated on.

(For context, I’m referring to this blog too! I’m a tiny little blog. So please don’t interpret that as some veiled insult, I’m in this group of “tiny controversial fandom blog” too)

Anyway. Best of luck to you!! And remember, the point of posting things is to have fun! If it’s causing more stress than enjoyment, there’s no shame in taking a break or logging off for a bit. I’ve taken multiple breaks, and I only post to the Anti-Dazai Series when I enjoy what I’m posting. 

[Also. I absolutely love controversial fandom opinions, especially if they’re well written. It doesn’t matter to me whether or not I agree, so long as it’s a cool or original take on the source material. So if you wanna dm me, I’ll definitely follow you and your blog full of all your hottest takes]

[freneticfloetry]

hi courtney! @reyesstrand here on my main blog ajdnskd but for nice ask day i’d love to know about to build a home…what was the writing process like? any little tidbits you want to share about it? it’s one of my absolute all time favourite fics, so anything you’d want to share would be amazing <3 also!! i saw your ask where you mention you saw hozier and i’m seeing him on tuesday (!!!) so any hozier songs you feel speak to the lone star characters/relationships the most?

Hey Maddie!

First of all, hugs and kisses to you for all your kind words on to build a home (here and in feedback). I’m so glad it struck a chord.

I’m not sure what else to say about it, to be honest! Um… okay, there were four scenes in my original outline that I cut. Well, three scenes cut and two others combined. Very early on there was a scene at the honky tonk the night TK and Carlos met, sort of the tail end and aftermath of their first hookup and Carlos deciding that he needed to see this boy again, even if it meant breaking his rules and bringing him home. I never even started that scene proper — once things got flowing it made much more sense to just refer to that in the scene following, after TK stormed out on the date. Immediately after that one was supposed to be the scene when Carlos finds out Iris is alive, which got the axe for two reasons: one, I really didn’t want to write Michelle, and two — more importantly — I needed Iris to stay a sort of ghost for Carlos until he’s forced to unearth all that later.

Chapter Two pretty much proceeded exactly as planned, with the exception of the post-fire scene at Owen’s — that was just supposed to be Carlos laying in the dark and sort of inside his own head, reflecting on all the things he lost but the one thing he came out with being the only thing he couldn’t bear to lose. But TK sort of stormed the castle. I was chugging along, and all of the sudden, I’d typed that he’d woken up. It was literally like he said “my baby’s hurting, he needs me.” Which was cute, but not the plan. 😂 Still, I was really happy with the conversation that emerged.

Chapter Three, though… well, like mother like son. Not only did TK go rogue again, so did Gwyn, with the whole “future” talk toward the end of their conversation. The post-Cooper scene was originally post-Sadie, but it was too raw and too soon for TK to have processed things in a way that would have let him have that talk with Carlos (who would’ve been too freshly-mired in his own guilt, at that point, instead of adrift and unsure in Cooper’s wake). Switching it was definitely the right call, for me. The We Need to Talk About Iris of it all had huge changes in the moment, because once I started the scene, even though I had a plan, I wrote one line in particular and it unlocked everything else. Going over it with @ambiguouspenny, I thought they were going to have a meltdown. But in a good way! The hospital scene threw me a curveball, in the form of tying up a loose end from the first chapter, so that’s how Dom happened. It derailed the original plan for the first half of that conversation with Gabriel — he was going to tell Carlos that his abuela had always called him such a homebody, that after he came out he couldn’t leave home fast enough, and Carlos was going to confess that he’d sort of detached because he wasn’t sure he’d have a place under their roof after everything, that he had a bag that lived in Iris’ trunk for months, because it was better to be ready than to be blindsided — but I actually like the detour better. There was a scene planned immediately following — the boys coming back to the loft from the hospital after Marjan’s whole ordeal, where TK tries to convince Carlos to take the detective exam — but once I finished the scene before that was the easiest cut ever. It would’ve derailed all the emotional momentum from the scene before. And the wedding and wedding night were supposed to be two separate scenes, but halfway through the hospital scene I randomly got the urge to combine them, and I really love how it turned out.

There are a few lines and snippets that didn’t make the cut, one piece of dialogue in particular that inspired a whole new fic. (Also there was an extended exchange during the move-in scene, with Carlos’ crack about the exercise bike, that kind of went something like this:

TK: “Seriously, how does a guy who looks like you own zero gym equipment?” And then, like a little lightbulb: “Oh my god, you were that kinda gay.”

Carlos: “There’s a gym at the precinct, TK.”

TK: “And I’m sure that’s what you use now.”)

So basically… the writing process was chaos. I guess I had things to say after all! 😂

Second, YAY, A HOZIER SHOW OF YOUR VERY OWN!

Re: Hozier speaking to Lone Star characters and pairings, why yes, don’t mind if I do.

I think there are a bunch of things that fit, actually. Tarlos and Francesca are clearly a match made in heaven, but First Time has hella TK vibes, both Shrike and Sunlight are Carlos as hell (though the former fits TK too), and I, Carrion (Icarian) fits for both Tarlos and Judd/Grace, from TK or Judd or even Grace’s perspective. From Eden is such a Judd-about-Grace song, as is NFWMB, but I think Would That I is his truest theme. Better Love could be Judd or Carlos. Unknown/Nth is my Breakup Era Carlos Anthem, and As It Was fits for TK during that same stretch. I have too many feelings about Movement to even nail down who it belongs to. All Things End feels like it would work well for Owen and Gwyn, and I’ll be damned if Arsonist’s Lullaby isn’t Owen’s buried anger issues to a tee.

I won’t even get started on individual lyrics/verses (but “I get along without you very well some other nights” and “be still my foolish heart, don’t ruin this on me” is the most TK Strand shit ever).

Not that I’ve thought about this at all. 😜

(Oh my god, this was an utterly unhinged answer, I’m so sorry.)