#love i've missed you in a million different ways (how is it we keep on writing tragedies together?)

[talaok]

I was thinking about the reader having a close guy friend who has a crush on her and it makes pedro jealous and angry that why the reader can't realize it?

pairing: Pedro Pascal x reader

warnings: angst, jealousy

"You know, I was thinking that tomorrow we could go to that sushi place you like" Pedro called from the bathroom, as he finished brushing his teeth.

You smiled to yourself as you got into bed before remembering something.

"Tomorrow?" you asked

"yes" He nodded, walking into the bedroom "We haven't gone there in a while"

"It's just...Steve asked me to go out with him tomorrow"

Even if he was turned around, you could see all his muscles tense.

"Steve?"

"yeah," you confirmed, "maybe we could go out the day after tomorrow?"

"Just the two of you?" He ignored your proposal, finally facing you

The question confused you a little bit

"Yup, he said we haven't seen each other in a while and he missed me"

"of course" he chuckled, a trace of bitterness in his tone

"What?" you frowned

"Nothing I'm just wondering if he'll finally use this opportunity to propose"

"What are you talking about baby?"

"oh c'mon you know" 

"no, I don't know" 

He was looking at you as if you had just admitted to not knowing how much 2+2 is.

"y/n listen as much as I'd like to believe you, I know you're way too smart not to know what I'm talking about"

You threw your blanket off your body, suddenly hot.

"Pedro" you stated as calmly as you could "I'm telling you, I have no idea what you're trying to say"

"oh really?" he raised his eyebrows, "you don't know? You don't know why I don't like when you hang out with the same guy who has not missed a single opportunity to tell you how beautiful or amazing or perfect you are? Who texts you 24/7? Who literally comes running whenever you need anything?"

Your mouth was parted but you needed a moment to process his words before being able to come up with some of your own.

"What are talking about?" 

He sighed frustratedly, running a hand through his hair

"I'm talking about the fact that he likes you! That he- actually you know what, I'm talking about the fact that he's in love with you y/n!"

And there it was

It was as if time had stilled, as if the world had stopped spinning.

Why was he getting so angry about this? How long had he been keeping this to himself?

And most importantly-what the actual fuck was he on about?

"Steve is my friend Pedro- I've known him for like six years, just cause he's a good friend doesn't mean he likes me" you sighed "Since when do you get jealous? This is not like you"

"are you serious?" he dropped his hands by his sides "You seriously don't fucking see it?"

"what? What is there to see?" you gestured, getting up from the bed

"y/n he gave you roses on valentines day!" he huffed a laugh raising his head to the ceiling "What friend does that?"

"that-that doesn't mean anything it was just a nice gesture it didn't mean anything"

"of course" he paused a moment before looking at you again, so many emotions clouding his eyes they almost looked a different color "y/n I don't know if you're lying to yourself or if you actually don't see it, but I'm telling you- he likes you"

"wh-" you stuttered, unable to do anything but beg your brain to start working again.

"he looks at you like your an angel sent from heaven y/n" he sighed "and you are, you know that, but I'm the only one who's supposed to feel that way" he said "not- not fucking Steve too"

"he-he's just a friend" you muttered,

you didn't know if you were telling yourself or him anymore

"I know he is" he nodded "but I also know that's not everything he wants to be"

"how-how would you know?"

"Because I'm not blind, baby!" he insisted, getting closer to you "because I would bet a million dollars that if you called him right now and told him you liked him he'd come running!"

"that's not true! We're just friends- he- he doesn't like me that way"

"y/n c'mon!" he groaned "How do you think it makes me feel? To see him drooling over my girlfriend every time we go out?"

"Pedro he doesn't like me!"

"He does! And I'm tired of pretending he doesn't" Frustration was tracing his every word "He needs to get a fucking grip, Someone needs to tell him how things actually are, and if you don't wanna do it then I gladly will"

"what do you even mean?"

"I mean telling him to back off!"

"Pedro I-"

"please-" he stopped you, his voice lower now, more pleading "please don't tell me again that he doesn't like you"

"but-"

"ok how 'bout this" he interrupted you again, "You ask him"

"What?"

"yeah, if you're so sure he doesn't like you why not just ask him?"

"Because... because it's weird"

"it's not weird- and if he's an honest man he'll tell you the truth"

You stared at him

Was he serious?

"Are you being serious?"

"one hundred percent" he nodded "Tomorrow" he stated, "you ask him, and I'm coming too"

"you're not coming"

He cocked an eyebrow "I'll be outside, I don't want him trying any weird shit"

"Pedro..."

"I just- I'm tired of it y/n"

You sighed "fine" before sitting back on the bed, feeling all your energy drained.

He sat beside you after a moment

"How long have you kept this to yourself?" you finally broke the silence, turning to him just to find his gaze already on you.

"Since I met him"

"Pedro...that was 2 years ago" 

"I know"

You paused, again

"You know that I would never cheat on you, right?"

"of course I do" he sighed "It's just- him... I don't like him"

You let out a small laugh "Yeah, I gathered"

"I can't help it" he murmured, his hand going to stroke your cheek "There can only be one man all over you" he smiled a lazy smile "and luckily... that man happens to be me"

[mcflymemes]

RELATIONSHIP PROMPTS FOR POST-BREAKUP MAKEUPS *  assorted dialogue for couples who want to try again

i never stopped thinking about you.

i didn't realize how good i had it until you were gone.

you were always on my mind.

so... what are we?

what we had was perfect.

i should have begged you to stay.

do you regret how it happened?

i want to keep trying. for us.

i replay our final argument in my head all the time.

after all this time? really?

i made a lot of mistakes. i said things i wish i could take back.

i didn't think you'd keep that.

i never forgot that night.

why do you keep looking at me like that?

you have no idea what you do to me.

for a while i saw other people, but none of them were you.

of course i remembered. how could i forget?

this place always makes me think of you.

i'm not giving up on what we had.

can we even go back to the way it used to be?

i haven't been back there since our first date.

of course i kept it. it reminds me of you.

i can't breathe without you.

i had a ring and everything.

no one ever made an impact like you did.

you were really one in a million.

i tried dating. i just couldn't get you out of my head.

i never fell out of love with you.

you were so good to me, and i blew it.

do you want to go out on a date? see what happens?

i really messed things up, didn't i.

i wish i could take it all back.

i've always loved you. always.

nothing feels right since you left.

the sight of you leaving is burned into my brain.

do you have regrets?

you sound like you're still in love with me.

would you ever consider taking me back?

i never moved on. not for a minute.

it was always you.

that didn't change how i feel.

i'll be better this time. i've learned from my mistakes.

i feel like i haven't seen you in ages.

you think you can just walk back into my life and act like nothing happened?

maybe i'm still in love with you.

you're everything to me. you always have been.

i never should have said that. i regret it all.

we're different people now.

what if we tried being friends?

i haven't smiled since you left me.

everything got colder when you left.

you could move back in with me, you know.

i still want you just as badly as i did back then.

what's your favorite memory from before?

i can still feel your touch as if it were yesterday.

you didn't deserve the way i treated you. i should have been better.

i'm sorry for everything. i really am.

we needed space. we were never going to work.

i missed you. more than you know.

could we try again? for old times' sake?

maybe this time we'll get it right.

you weren't there for me when i needed you.

they always said we were the perfect couple.

could i move back in?

do you still love me?

we both made mistakes.

the world lost its color when you left me.

how many years has it been since we ended things?

maybe we were meant to be together after all.

i never want to let you go. not again.

things didn't work out with them.

they think i'm still in love with you.

i said your name once. in bed.

i can't function without you.

[zorosjuicymelonsx]

Finding You

A/N: Hey lovelies, I'm here with a new chapter for you all. I hope you like it, its very fluffy. I don't know why I've been feeling super fatigued this week, its been very annoying since I've not been productive at all :( don't worry, I will bounce back as I always do. Finding You has reached over 1k hits on AO3 and over 100 likes on Tumblr and I just wanted to express my gratitude when I saw this. Thank you so much everyone and I will be back next week!

Chapter Six Previous Next

‘I miss you so much.’ You whispered to yourself, sitting on the cool sand listening to the waves crash against the sunset.

Your heart ached, turning to your side to see the empty space he should have been occupying next to you. You felt your throat closing and your lip tremble, leaning your head down in between your knees to choke out a quiet sob.

Where are you?

————————————- ⚔️✨ ————————————

You woke, groggily blinking your eyes to open as you adjusted to the bright light seeping into your room. You lifted your head slightly to look for Nami and Robin to see if you’d woken up too early or too late. The room was different. Why was-

You shot up, taking in your surroundings and remembering you shared your first night with Zoro. You cautiously turned to your side, only to find his side of the bed empty. You breathed a sigh of relief, holding your chest to calm yourself. You didn’t mind spending the night with him, in fact you had overly fantasized the day you would get to. It was only the first night and you couldn’t help but feel a sense of guilt that you felt you were forcing him. 

You decided to move to cross your legs to meditate, to bring yourself back to the present and focus your negative thoughts away. You did this on occasion, Zoro had taught you a while back and you hadn’t turned back since. 

Breathe…1…2…3…

1…..2…..3……

“That's better.” You mumbled to yourself, deciding now you could start your day off. You got ready for the day, deciding on a blue blouse and black shorts would suffice for this hot weather, keeping your hair down to keep your neck cool. You slipped on a pair of comfortable white shoes, taking your sword and tying it to your shorts before leaving the room.

As you walked onto the lawn of the deck, your eyes scanned for Nami, finding her at the helm with Jinbe who was manning it. She was currently barking instructions at Luffy, Usopp, Franky and Brook who were currently running around the ship following her orders. You made your way up to her, seeing the focus she had on Jinbe shift to you and a smile beamed out of her.

“That island over there is where we’re going to stop, we all could do with a break.” Nami clarified, pointing across the ship, your eyes following and nodding as you saw the small island up ahead. 

“So…how was last night?” Nami asked, grinning slyly. You rolled your eyes at her smiling, knowing she would mention your night with the swordsman. 

“Nothing happened, we just slept. I’m guessing you and Robin had something to do with the decor?” You giggled out. 

“You’re welcome, I don’t even want to get into the plans Franky had for that room.” She shivered at the memory, you frowned in confusion but chose not to pry further. Her attention steered away from you, noticing Brook was incorrectly tying the rope and proceeded to walk over to correct him. 

Sighing, you walked over to the rail to admire the scenery of the sea. A small smile crept on your face, appreciating the beauty of the blue and white hues and taking a deep breath to smell the saltiness of the sea. You peered down to watch the crash of the waves against the ship, finding comfort in simply admiring the vast world around you. You never thought in a million years you would become a pirate, the name itself a stigma. After being with your crew that you’ve grown very fond of, you knew you wouldn’t have become a pirate unless it was with them. 

“I’ll do my best to reformulate this for you Zoro, then we can try again.” You faintly overheard the reindeer, turning your gaze to find Zoro and Chopper nodding at each other before Chopper headed back under the ship. Zoro looked up to see your gaze on him, you offered a small smile and a wave before he decided to make his way over to you. Your focus shifted back to the sea, whilst Zoro who was now leaning on the rail in a similar fashion to you.

“So…Chopper tried to test out his memory solution with me.” Zoro shared. You hummed in acknowledgement. 

“I’m guessing no success?” You raised an eyebrow. You heard a short ‘hm’ from him. 

“He’s going to try again, he said maybe he picked the wrong herb or something like that.” You looked away from the sea over to him, his eye was already on you.

“We’re heading to an island for a stop to rest.” You chose to change the subject, not wanting to dwell on the matter anymore.

“Good, I could do with getting off this ship for a bit.” You could see how tired he looked despite the number of naps the man could take in a day. Maybe a small chat with Nami would suffice to get the night shifts routine changed. 

“You plannin’ to do anything specific?” You didn’t want the conversation to end just yet. Despite being a man of a few words, you found comfort in his presence. Even just pure silence between you both was enough for you.

“Find a bar, get drunk, pass out, repeat.” You let out a small ‘ha’, it was typical Zoro behaviour even back at Shimotsuki. You could remember after graduation witnessing a competition he had with the local drunk to see who could drink the most. You remember being more concerned for the drunk than him, everyone knew how well Zoro could hold his tolerance for. Zoro did indeed win. 

“Sounds like a plan.” 

Zoro could see you were reminiscing on something, he felt it wasn’t his place to pry on that moment. He could see how content you were in that moment.

“What about you?” Zoro asked. He could have ended the conversation there, but something nudged him to continue the conversation. He surprised himself to feel just how easy you were to talk to.  You were surprised that he wanted to continue conversing with you rather than just ending it. 

“I need clothes, even back home I didn’t have much to my name and Nami promised to take me shopping when we found the next island” 

“Make sure you use your own money before the witch catches you in her interest trap.” Zoro warned. Just remembering his huge outstanding debt to her made him want to heave. 

“Interest trap? And don’t call her that, she isn’t a witch.” You lectured, you turned to face him completely moving your hands to sit on your hips. 

“Guys we’re almost there, Zoro can I talk to you?” Nami shouted out. Zoro rolled his eye before muttering a quick bye to you and leaving.

‘Small progress is better than no progress.’ You thought to yourself. You decided to head to the kitchen to grab a bite to eat and caffeinate yourself. 

Zoro walked and stood in front of Nami. She looked at him briefly before turning her attention to the side of her jean pocket to pull something out. She then turned back, grabbing Zoro’s hand and dropping the item in his hand. Zoro looked down to see it was a sachet of berry. He frowned in confusion before looking back up at Nami.

“What’s this witch?” He questioned.

“That's something called money.” Nami sarcastically punctuated her words. Zoro rolled his eye, having no energy for her shit. 

“I know what it is…why are you giving this to me?” He bit back irritated with gritted teeth. 

“That is for you to spend on Y/N when you take her clothes shopping.”

“I’m not taking her shopping.” He scoffed. 

“Yes you are or I’m doubling your debt to me.” Nami threatened.

“Why are you doing this?” 

“Because dumbass she deserves to be treated and since you clearly don’t have a romantic bone in your body, how great would it be for her HUSBAND to take her out to buy clothes?” Nami explained. 

Zoro was dumbfounded. 

‘Nami was willing to part with money… seriously what's the catch??’ He thought as he moved his eye from the berry to Nami with suspicion heavy in his gaze. 

Nami sighed before continuing. 

“She's been through enough, I know what happened isn’t your fault but I can see you care for her. Don’t pay me back for this.”

Zoro softened at Nami’s reasoning, his lips thinned before nodding. 

“And one more thing. This is not for booze. I will know if you spent it…” Nami warned, wagging her finger at him before walking away. Zoro stayed glued to his place, looking down to eye the bag for a bit. 

He sighed to himself, gently squeezing the bag in his hand a few times before safely putting it away in his sash. 

————————————- ⚔️✨ ————————————

The Sunny had arrived and docked on the island. The weather could be described as perfect; sunny but with a gentle breeze that came at the right times. Luffy had jumped out of the ship, beelining through a dirt path that looked like it led into a town, Usopp was placed on Luffy patrol and ran after him. You heard some wacky stories from the others about Luffy’s knack for getting into trouble on islands he’s new to. 

Chopper, Robin and Sanji made their way to town at their own pace to restock the shop with food and medical supplies. Brook tagged along with Franky into town to get more hardwood for any future repairs. Jinbe was left to stay on the ship to watch for any danger. This left you, Zoro and Nami.

“Y/N, I would take you shopping but I’ve actually got to work on my maps and get some more ink and trinkets. I'm so sorry but I’ll definitely make it up to you another time.” Nami sadly spoke. You nodded in understanding but couldn’t help a small bloom of disappointment spread across your chest. 

“Make sure he doesn’t get lost. Have fun guys.” Nami winked at you before walking away, missing the fumes expelling from Zoro’s ears. You looked at him to see his annoyance, a wave of guilt filled you realising that he probably didn’t want to be stuck with you. 

“You don’t have to go shopping with me, I can help you find a bar to get hammered in.” You said, knowing how much he wanted to sit back and unwind. You didn’t want to get in his way or make it seem like you were being too clingy. He looked at you and could sense you were being earnest with your words. He felt the bag of berry in his sash burn into his skin before shaking his head in disagreement. 

“Let's go get you some new clothes.” He spoke, walking confidently in the wrong direction.You didn’t have time to laugh or smile before you were chasing after him, grabbing his forearm and pulling him into the direction of town. 

You both walked in comfortable silence, eventually reaching the quaint town to look around for a clothing boutique. You eventually found a boutique and pulled him into the store, a soft bell sound clicked as you opened and closed the door. The clerk welcomed you both in and left you to your own devices. You looked around taking in all the vibrant colours and styles of fabric that hung on each hanger, your smile only getting wider as you already spotted a few pieces you wanted to try on. 

You looked up at Zoro, giving him a ‘don’t go anywhere’ face before leaving him to explore the shop. Zoro turned to see a chair that had his name on it, making his way to sit and wait while you shopped. He decided to close his eye just for a few minutes, reasoning it was the bright lights of the shop that made it harder to keep them open. 

A few minutes became 20 minutes before he heard the sound of you clearing your throat. He opened his eye to find you wearing a mini white dress that was littered in small yellow daisies, it flowed out from the waist mid thigh and sat snuggled at your chest with a v-neck and thin straps. His eye travelled up to see the bright excited smile on your face as you stared at him, your hair flowing down over your shoulders only adding to his sudden rising heart rate and unconsciously holding his breath. 

It took everything in him not to stare, he couldn’t understand why you were making him so hot and bothered.

“So…what do you think?” You excitedly asked him.

The best thing he could do was offer a small nod of approval. You took that as a yes and went back to the fitting room to try on the next items. After closing the curtain of the changing room, Zoro breathed out the air he was holding, clutching his chest briefly to try and regain the tempo of his heart again.

The next few outfits you tried on accentuated your figure, from the pink long sleeved tops to the black mini skirts that showed off your curves. Zoro was suffering, his cheeks were painted pink for a while, you noticed this and asked him if he was alright. He blamed it on how hot the store was. At all the clothes you picked, he nodded at all but a bright yellow dress that reminded him too much of the shitty cooks hair. 

You eventually got changed back, taking the clothes and a couple pairs of shoes you wanted to buy and went to the counter. As Zoro noticed you pull out your wallet, he quickly stood up, almost tripping over his own foot and made his way to you. You looked at him quizzically before he pulled out a bag of berry from his sash and handed it to the clerk. 

“My treat.” He grumbled. Just for good measure on a whim, he snatched your wallet out of your hand and put it in his sash to stop you from trying to pay. Zoro also took the liberty of carrying your bags, you did try to argue about this but he ignored you instead. Accepting defeat, you both walked out of the boutique. 

You both ended up wandering around town in comfortable silence as before, taking small glances over at the swordsman with the bags in his hand. You couldn’t help but enjoy how domestic he looked while giving his normal ‘fuck off or I’ll kill you’ aura. 

You couldn’t help but let your eyes drift off down from his face to admire his chest that always seems to be exposed. It didn’t bother you per se but you couldn’t help but feel a bit green on the inside with jealousy at the thought of how many women could have thrown themselves at him while you weren’t around.

‘Did he sleep with anyone while he was away?’

Deciding against going down that thought path, you moved your eyes to focus back on your surroundings. You spotted a bar on the right, a small glint of mischief glazed your eyes before you cleared your throat to speak. 

“Since you kindly paid for my clothes…how about I treat you to a drink?” You questioned. 

Zoro looked over at you to see the smirk on your face, he couldn’t help but chuckle a bit before nodding. You signaled your head to go in the right direction where the bar was. Shortly arriving, you both entered the bar and made your way to a small table in the corner. The bar was relatively buzzing with locals, the aura was bright compared to other bars you’d been to. It almost smelled…clean apart from the lingering smell of yeast that wafted in from the bar side.

Arriving at the table, Zoro bent to drop the bags off whilst tucking them under the table. Once finished, he stood up straight and turned to see you were standing next to him gazing up at him. He hadn’t noticed how small you looked compared to him until that moment seeing how much neck was bent back as you looked up at him. 

“Yes?” 

“My wallet?” You raised your brow smirking at him, bringing your hand up and out ready to take your wallet back from him. 

“Oh.” He sheepishly uttered out. He dug into his sash and pulled out your wallet. You gave a small nod as you took the wallet, relishing in the warmth of it. It took everything in you not to raise your wallet up to smell it as you secretly loved his natural scent. 

You headed to the bartender and put in an order for two bottles of sake, pulling out berry to pay for it. With your drinks secured, you headed back to the table to find Zoro comfortably sitting in his chair, slightly manspreading. He made the chair next to him look so inviting with him there but the way his legs parted made you feel more parched. You made it to the table, dropping the bottles carefully before taking your place next to him.

“Thanks Y/N.” He grunted out before making work by opening his bottle and drinking it straight from the bottle. After a few gulps and a sigh of satiation, you took a few sips from your bottle. You weren’t sure how but you both ended up engaged in conversation, both reminiscing on the people and life back in Shimotsuki Village. 

You couldn’t stop laughing at his story about this old lady who constantly tried to pinch his bum whenever he walked past her, tears forming in the corners. He also expressed shock and a few laughs when you indulged him in a memory of how you were dared by your friend Lily to walk in the local shop with a mask on and rap freestyle. He made you laugh when he told a terrible joke, the sound of your laughter bringing a sort of peace to him. He never wanted to see your smile fade. 

‘Ba dum, ba dum, ba dum.’

“Well hello pretty lady.” A voice interrupted causing you and Zoro to both look up. The smell hit you first, the clothes the guy was wearing reeked of alcohol. You did your best to shift yourself in your seat as far away from the guy as possible. It didn’t help as he just leaned closer in. 

“Let me buy you a drink.” The stranger offered, completely unaware of who he was potentially messing with. You looked at Zoro to see his demeanor darken, his gaze focused on the man in front of him and the grip on his bottle tighten.

“No thank you.” You politely declined. 

“Why not? I’m sure your bodyguard wouldn’t mind.” He insisted, his hand landed on your shoulder to give it a tight squeeze. The action caused Zoro to abruptly stand up and tower over the man. 

“If you don’t get your dirty hand off and back the fuck away from my wife right now, I’ll see to it that you lose your fingers.” Zoro threatened. The man took his hand off like you were on fire, gulping before quietly apologising and leaving with his tail tucked between his legs. You looked up at him in surprise, the anger continued exuding out of him. He hadn’t addressed you as his wife since the wedding. Zoro looked at you with equal shock at what he just said out loud. 

‘I called her my wife..’ 

“Zoro, it's okay. If he tried anything I would have kicked his ass.” You tried to change the subject to lighten the mood back, however, nothing was changing. Instead, Zoro gulped down the rest of his drink, then yours before reaching for the bags in one hand, then your wrist in another dragging you out the door. He didn’t say anything, you couldn’t bear to stop him even knowing he was going the wrong way in case he snapped. 

Some time had passed and you both ended up outside of town in a wooded area. 

“Zoro, can we stop? You’re hurting me.” You cautiously questioned, your wrist was feeling hot under his grip. Zoro had stopped at this, looked down at you and then let go on your wrist. He hadn’t noticed how tight he was gripping you, seeing a red outline of where his grip was woved around your wrist. He felt guilt wash over him.

In Zoro’s mind, all he could think about was snapping that guy's neck. The thought of anyone touching you the way that guy did made his blood boil. He knew had he not left, he would have caused trouble for you and the crew.

“Sorry.” He muttered. 

You now felt bad and decided to take his hand into yours and looked at him, using your thumb to slightly rub gently circles on his skin. 

“It's okay, I understand.” You meant every word. 

‘Ba dum, ba dum, ba dum.’ 

‘He really needed to get his heart checked out by Chopper.’ He thought as he looked back at you. 

“Let's get back to the ship.” You decided the best way back would be to summon a hole. You let go of his hand, walking towards an empty patch of grass you found before raising your hand, conjuring the memory of the deck while creating the hole. Once the hole had formed, you let your hand fall before you look over at Zoro and encourage him to jump in. 

Zoro nodded before he tightened his grip on the bags, walked up to the hole and jumped through. He felt somewhat light going through the hole. He guessed it was because of the clouds in the hole making it seem like he’s somewhat flying. It somewhat reminded him of being back on Skypiea. He landed on the deck, moving away from the hole to ensure you didn’t crash into him. You followed behind him a few seconds later. You reached your hand out to close the hole behind you. 

You walked up to Zoro and took the bags from him. 

“Thank you for taking me shopping, it was really sweet of you.” You smiled at him. 

About to turn away to walk towards your room, he reached out to grab your forearm. Puzzled at the sudden heat of his hand on your arm, you turned to see him as he looked at you with an unknown expression on his face you couldn’t decipher. 

“Everything okay?” You asked him. 

He didn’t know what took over him but he dragged you into him crushing you into a hug. The sudden tug made you drop your bags, your eyes bulged out in surprise as your cheek was now nestled into his chest. You could feel his heart beating strong and oddly fast, the familiar warmth seeping into your skin. It had been so long since he held you like this. 

You had to fight your tears back, you didn’t want to give yourself hope for nothing. 

He let you go after a few more seconds, wordlessly turning away from you to walk to the Crows Nest no doubt wanting to start training. All you could do was watch him and question his intentions behind the hug.  

Unbeknownst to you, something else was watching you from a distance.

————————————- ⚔️✨ ———————————— Fun fact: the shop incident actually happened to me and my best friend. We were 16 and she dared me to rap the rap from Scary Movie 1 with a ghost mask over my face. I did it and it got us banned from that shop ever since XD

[fuxuannie]

↳ pairing : miles morales x (filo) reader

↳ synopsis : "ang dami mo naman tinatago, ginamit mo lang ba ako" - ikaw at sila, moira dela torre

↳ authors note : the reader being filo does nawt matter at all i jus wanna write tagalog dialogue HAHHA *translations will be provided @ the end me also say this quick & angsty :( no atsv spoilers. BOLD ITALICS are flashbacks

Dating MILES was certainly not an.. easy feat. Not only was he constantly busy, but would mysteriously disappear in random times whether at school or just simple hangouts. "I'll be quick." He says, but the next time you see him is in 3 days and he's covered in bandages.

You learned from some schoolmates that before you, there seemed to be a girl named Gwanda that he was particularly hung over about after she left.

Of course, students will be students who crave any sort of drama will try and spark up rumors. You trusted Miles, and you were hoping that your trust wasn't misplaced. He didn't seem like the type of guy to lie to you, the exact opposite infact. The boy seemed to love you more than he loved the world, he just.. it didn't hurt to be cautious.

Miles is a friendly guy. Anyone would feel hurt over a friend leaving, that's it and there's nothing more to it.

You sigh softly as you leave your classroom, Miles already waiting for you because his ended early. "Hi babe." He'll smile, grabbing your hand and intertwining his fingers with yours. "Hi." You reply, your energy far different from his.

There's silence when you two walk, through the halls and out the schools main doors. Unlike Miles, you still lived with your parents unlike him who shared a dorm with Ganke.

"You hear about the stories going around us lately? Jeez, seems like people are more obsessed with our relationship than we are."

"Miles."

His smile disappears when he realizes you're upset or unamused.

"Are you really.. over her?"

You stop in your tracks, staring at Miles who was a few steps ahead of you. His head still turned away from you, but he feels your gaze burning into the back of his head.

He says nothing, so you continue further.

"Alam mo ba, I really tried, Miles."

You remember the sketches of a blonde haired girl in his notebook, features similar to the girl your classmates described.

He still refuses to to look at you.

"I wanted to fight for us, I really really did."

There's something about the way he talks to his parents about her,

"I miss her a lot, I hope she visits soon."

"You'll never believe who she hangs out with now..!-"

"She had the nicest smile I've ever seen."

It felt.. odd.

His head looks down to the floor, as if lost in thought.

"Pero ang hirap kapag di mo naman talaga gusto sakin."

You feel something akin to a stab to your gut when you catch a glimpse of his phone, your eyes widening slightly at the photo of Gwen and him. Of course you wouldn't have minded.. but you two were on a date, a date that happened because it was your first year of being together.

You look back at Miles, forcing a smile as if nothing had happened. As if what was supposed to be a day worth celebrating, wasn't the very same day your heart was shattered into a million pieces.

Miles finally turned to face you, his expression is mixed with sadness and confliction.

"I'm not her, Miles. I can't be her."

You wanted him to say something, anything. Anything to prove that there was a reason to keep trying in this relationship.

But there's silence, his hand slips away and you allow it.

You two stand there, suffocating in the air surrounding you. It felt so hard to even breathe with how hard you were holding in your urge to cry.

This was for the best, right? It was better for the both of you if you just.. left it there and now.

But you were just so scared that you'll regret everything and run back to him in a heartbeat, back to a boy who never truly loved you.

"You're right."

Those words cause more damage than you ever thought they could, he has no idea how two words can absolutely break a person, how hard it is to realize that a one year relationship was a lie after you gave your all for him.

"I see."

What did you expect? For him to tell you that he wasn't still inlove with a person who left him two years ago? That he didn't date you to absolutely distract himself from the fact he missed Gwen? That's absurd, impossible even.

You turn around and begin to walk away, mostly to hide the tears that were threatening to fall down your face.

It's over, right? No more overthinking, or wondering if you're not enough.

You know the truth, that's what you wanted.

But there's a lingering feeling, one that you can't quite shake off.

That there's the tiniest chance that he'll grab your hand, pull you in and tell you that it's all a misunderstanding.

And against your better judgement, you look back.

He's already walking away.

TRANSLATIONS ::

Ang dami mo naman tinatago, ginamit mo lang ba ako = There were so many things you were hiding, did you just use me?

Alam mo ba = Did you know? / You know?

Pero ang hirap kapag di mo naman talaga gusto sakin = But it's really hard if you don't really want me

[fruity-pontmercy]

Les Mis adaptations and apolitical appropriation

I think it's no secret on this blog that I love the original Les Mis 1980 concept album in French, and that I also love comparing different versions of the stage musical. I've noticed that Les Mis seems to get progressively more vaguely apolitical as time goes on, not only in the way it's viewed in our culture, but in the actual text as well.

It's natural for specifics to be lost in adaptation. It's easier to get people to care about 'the people vs. the king' in a relatively short musical rather than actually facing the audience with the absolute mess that were 19th century french politics (monarchist orleanists vs monarchist legitimists vs imperialist vs bonapartist democrats vs every flavour of republican imaginable). Still, I feel that as time goes on, as more revivals and adaptations of the stage musical come out, the more watered down its politics become. Like, Les Mis at it's core is just meant to be a fancily written, drawn out political essay, right?

In a way I feel that the 1980 concept album almost tried to modernise it with its symbols of progress. Yes, through Enjolras' infamous disco segment (and other similar allusions to the ideals of social change), but perhaps most interestingly to me, through one short line that threw me off when I first heard it, because it seems so insignificant, but might actually be the most explicitly leftist line of all of Les Mis.

"Son coeur vibrait à gauche et il le proclama" (roughly "His heart beat to the left and he proclaimed it" i.e: he was a leftist) Feuilly says, while speaking of the now dead général Lamarque in Les Amis de L'ABC.

What's that? An actual mention of leftism??? in MY vaguely progressive yet apolitical musical??? More seriously, this mention of leftism, clashing with the rest of the musical due to it's seeming anachronism, is interesting not because it's actually more political than anything else in Les Mis, rather, because it's not scared to explicitly name what it's trying to do.

But we've come a long way from the Concept Album days, it's been 43 years, and Les Misérables is now one of the most famous and beloved musicals in the entire world. It's been revived and reimagined and adapted in a million ways, in different mediums, in different languages and countries, and it's clear that it's changed along with it's audience.

On top of pointing out a cool line in my favourite version of the musical, I wanted to write this post to reflect on the perception of the political message of this work. We as a Les Mis fandom on Tumblr are very political, I don't need to tell you that, however, I feel that because this very left leaning space has sprung out of a work we all love so much, we oftentimes forget to revisit it from a more objective point of view.

Les Misérables has a history of being misrepresented, this has been true since it's publication, since american confederate soldiers became entranced with their censored translation Lee's Miserables. However, with it's musical adaptation, this misinterpretation has been made not only more accessible but also easier. As much as I love musical theatre and I think it is at it's best an incredible art form able to communicate complex themes visulally by the masses for the masses, I think it'd be idealistic to ignore the fact that the people who can afford to go see musicals regularly are, usually, not the common folk. Broadway and the West End are industries which, like most, need money to keep them afloat, and are loved people of all political backgrounds (and unfortunately, often older conservatives) not just communists on tumblr. We've seen the way Les Miz UK's social media team constantly misses the mark regarding different social issues, and the way Cameron Makintosh has used the musical to propagate his transphobia, and most of us can agree that these actions are in complete antithesis with the message of Les Misérables as a novel.

But I must ask, how does Les Mis ,as a West End musical in it's current form, actually drive a leftist message, and how are we as a community helping if every time someone relating to the musical messes up if we just claim they "don't get it"?

I'm thinking in particular of incidents like last october, where Just Stop Oil crashed Les Mis at the West End. Whether you think it's good activism or not is not the question I think, this instance is interesting particularly because it shows that, outside of Les Misérables analysis circles and fandom spaces, it is not recognised as an inherently leftist, political or activist work, and instead of just saying they completely missed the point of the musical, I think it'd be interesting to take a step back and look at what the musical as it stands actually represents in our culture today.

I don't pretend to have all the answers, so I won't try to give one, but I do hope we can reflect on this a bit.

[snowblossomreads]

Day 2 - Restless Waiting

Pairing: Hans Gruber x Fem!Reader

Summary: Unaware of the true nature of her boyfriend's job, [Y/n] bids him a weary farewell before Christmas. Things began to crash and burn around her shortly thereafter.

Tag(s)/Warning(s): goodbyes, sadness, a little fluff at one point, things blowing up, not too much crazy in this one!

Word Count: 2.1K

A/N: And in something totally different! Next on our list is the very handsome, the very suave, and the most polite thief you'll ever meet. Hans! This is my first time writing for him and he's quite soft for his little love so hopefully it's enjoyable! Off we go then!

When Hans told [Y/n] he had another job planned out and that it was to be on Christmas, she couldn’t deny the rush of frustration and worry that pulsed through her veins.

Frustration, because he would be missing another Christmas with her as his jobs, as he so lightly put them, always seemed to take him away from her during the holidays.

But also worry, because while she didn’t know what exactly these jobs entailed of as he never elaborated it on them more than he had to, she knew they were dangerous. He would often times come back with a new bruise here and a new scar there that had her fretting over him asking him what had happened. And all he would say was that it was just an accident. 

Accident her ass.

Also it had to be something unconventional because how else would he be funding the extravagant way they lived? A beautiful penthouse in the middle of a bustling city. Luxury trips as gifts to her for putting up with him missing holidays and important dates as he had once stated. And the purchase of expensive clothes and jewelry that he spoiled her with just because.

She wasn't dumb no, and she had a slight inkling that what he did may have also been on the gray side of the law. But by the time she had figured it out she was too deeply in love with the man standing in front of her to leave.

A man who was readying himself to leave for a job that had been in the making for months. One that was more lucrative than any single one he had done, and one he was keen on making work.

Was it dangerous absolutely. But what job didn't have its dangers, especially one with a payout of over $600 million dollars in untraceable bearer bonds. Oh, the risk and danger was well worth it.

Though Hans did have to admit the forlorn look in his [Y/n]'s eyes did give him pause as he readied himself to meet up with the rest of his crew. Would he abandon such a intricate plan all because of a look? Of course not. But she did give him pause which is closer than anyone has ever gotten to making him maybe rethink his plans.

"Liebchen don't look that way. You know I'll come back as always, " Hans murmured in that accented English that had captivated her when he had first approached her a many years ago. "Do not mar that pretty face of yours with something like that I much more prefer your smile so I can keep it in my memory until I return."

Smile? But for what. He wasn't giving her much to smile about as he finished his preparation, going back and forth between rooms gathering his suitcase and other things before making his way to the front door of their home.

"Oh right I should definitely smile because my boyfriend is going away yet again before Christmas for the third time in a row for some shady business he has yet to tell me about." She muttered under her breath while crossing her arms over her chest looking like a tantruming child.

It only made Hans grin as he stalked up to her, cornering her in between the wall and the door and causing her to cower a little. Not out of fear but at how close he was, so close she could feel his breath tickle her skin, warm with a hint of of the bourbon he had drank earlier on to 'warm oneself' as he said.

"What are you talking about? Have I not given you this beautiful home?" He questioned leaning forward to place a kiss on her forehead. "Have I've not given you the designer clothes and the pretty jewelry that make you smile?" He added as he moved down to kiss her on each cheek. “Have you nothing to to smile about when I take you on trips, and make you squirm in pleasure on the expensive sheet of some bed far away from here?"

Cheeks feeling warm from the closeness and the seductive tone he was taking on knowing good and well she was very susceptible to it, [Y/n] was quick to try and push him away just to get some space in between them.

"H-Hans you that's not what I'm talking about and you know it!" She exclaimed and stuttered out all at once at the very smug face of Hans who seemed to be amused at how flustered she was. 

Damn him!

"I want to spend time with you during Christmas. Together as a couple and maybe even let my parents, who keep asking about you by the way, meet you!" Her words were punctuated with a little stomp and she knew it was a tad childish but she didn't care wanting him to understand how much she was against him leaving.

"I know I know and I will meet them I promise. This job though, it's a big one, if it all goes well it will be the last one. No more holidays away from you I promise you that."

His words dripped sincerity and his amber eyes burned with honesty as he took her hand into his and kissed her knuckles. Usually, the scratchy feeling of his beard tickling her skin would make her laugh, but she was so upset that she couldn't find it in herself to be amused. Only bitter.

"Somehow I don't believe that," she muttered dejectedly as tears began to try and work their way into her eyes betraying the chanting in her head that was telling her to not cry.

Worry was the only thing on her mind as she always worried about him. She didn't know what she would do if something happened to him. It hurt too much and it was the cause of the tears that leaked down her cheeks causing Hans to frown.

"What if something happens Hans. What happens if something goes wrong, what happens if you don't-."

She couldn't get the words out as the thought of him not coming home had her in shambles.

"My love, mein Liebchen," he pleaded as he kissed the top of her head and went to wipe the tears that had escaped. “Do not cry you know I do not like these tears of yours they upset me."

"Good because at least you know how you're making me feel," [Y/n] whimpered out as she tried to meet his eyes but failed as she let out another sniffle.

Whilst his heart did not enjoy seeing her upset, he knew what he had to do and even if it made her sad, too much was riding on him and his leadership. Because who else could come up with a plan as intricate and detailed as him?

"I promise I will be safe and that nothing will go wrong. Have I ever broken a promise between us?" He asked pulling her into a tight hug that had her shaking in his hold as she felt far more afraid than usual but was unsure why.

"Liebchen?"

"No you haven't but what if...what if something does go wrong? You always come home with bruises or scars when things go right and I just-."

"Hush enough of that," he interrupted just as [Y/n] voice cracked and she buried her face into the soft fabric of his shirt. His hand rubbed comforting circles on her lower back as he tried to calm her and it seemed to work as she began to be able to catch her breath again.

"Nothing will go wrong I promise. It is the holidays and what is it that you Americans always say, Christmas is a time of miracles no?"

Letting out a pitiful laugh and a sniffle before looking up at him with red rimmed eyes, she nodded but not without saying,

"We do but I also don't want to bet your return on a miracle they don't work sometimes."

His chuckle was deep and a bit nasally yet it vibrated in her body and made her stomach do little flips just at the sound of it.

"No miracles then, I will make sure we do not need any. But I must go now my company is waiting for me and we cannot be late."

Even if she begged him to stay she knew he would go as that man was stubborn and had a strong will that drove her crazy at times. Yet it was something she had grown to love as she knew he would do anything for her if she asked. Well anything but staying behind from a job...

Sighing she nodded and unhanded him still giving him a worried look.

"Promise me you'll be safe?"

"Yes of course especially when I have you to come home to." He affirmed confidently right before leaning down and planting a kiss on her lips as if sealing the deal.

The squeak of surprise that left her transformed into a tiny moan as she pawed at his front sighing as he deepened the kiss by bringing a hand to the back of head and putting light pressure on it to bring her closer.

There they stood for what felt like forever kissing and whispering soft words that only the other could here. And they exchange those words and lines, one being,

"Ich liebe dich mien Liebchen," whispered passionately in a soft husky voice by Hans as his amber eyes were trained on her for a moment before he pulled away from her embrace.

It made her a bit sad no longer being enveloped by his warmth. But she watched quietly as he gathered his bags and walked out the door into the elevator that serviced their building.

Turning around, he gave her a tiny smirk that had her heart leaping. And when the chime of the elevator dinged and the doors began to close she waved at him until they were parted by the heavy steel doors. Yet [Y/n] couldn't stop the queasy feeling in her stomach that lingered long after he was gone a little sigh leaving her before she whispered,

"I love you too sweetheart."  While looking forlorn at the emptiness in between her and where he had been before closing the door to their home.

It was Christmas day and she had paced around the house many times, waiting restlessly on Hans and his call.

Though once the clock struck 9pm and there was no word from him she knew something was wrong as he had promised to call around that time. And he never broke his promises.

As to distract herself from the thoughts she decided to turn on the TV to put on some sappy Christmas movie even if it made her sadder knowing that he wasn't with her.

Though that quickly changed when the TV turned on to a black and white photo of the man she had been waiting for to call. The sheer surprise and confusion had knocked her down onto the sofa and the words that were being said by the female news anchor only confused her more.

There were hostages being held in some building that was far from where he said he would be. And he was the leader of some terrorist group doing the hostage taking. And something about being in a terrorist group while he was in Germany but being kicked out?

What what what? She felt as if her mind was spinning as his picture stayed burned in on the top corner of the screen as the newscasters talked about some  Helsinki syndrome or some other.

All while [Y/n] mind continued to spiral. Her Hans? A terrorist? Holding people hostage? No that wasn't him. It couldn’t be him.

"No no this has to be some kind of joke," she whispered to herself as she tried to change the channel wanting to ignore what could not be ignored.

Yet each channel she turned to showed the same news story even on children's programming did the news interrupt as it was the biggest story of the year.

Hopping up from her seat,she began to pace anxiously. Her mind tried to tell her that it was a mistake and that it was the wrong person they were talking about. But unfortunately, her attention was taken back when the newscasters began shouting and she whipped her head back just in time to see an explosion on the top of the building.

The shout she let out could probably be heard by her upstairs and downstairs neighbor as she stared at the TV in dumbfounded awe.

"Oh my god that were people up there they've just killed all those people good lord!"

Shouted the newscaster as they all screamed and shouted over one another. But the only thing [Y/n] could comprehend as she watched the flames engulf the top of the tower causing some of it to crumble away was that her relationship was beginning to crumble just the same as the tower.

A/N: Heheheh will Y/n ever find out the truth about her beloved Hans? Who knows stay tuned (i hope!) Let me know how we are feeling about this story friends! until next time👋💖

Tag: @deepperplexity

[proudahgase-exol]

Loving you is all I know.

Chanyeol x reader ft exo (angst)

Warning: cussing, mentioning of alcohol and cigarettes use.

Summary: you have a on/off relationship with Chanyeol It has been going on for four years now but this time it’s different you can’t take it anymore so you tell him how you really feel

Ps: if you like my work please like and reblog and comment if you like to 💞

✼••┈┈┈┈••✼♡✼••┈┈┈┈••✼

Y/n pov:

It happened again he ended the relationship he claimed that he was too busy to be with me but I wasn’t stupid I knew what he was up to by the many Instagram posts he would publish with another girl at clubs.

It sucked, to be honest, it hurt me so much especially since I’m his group assistant I was in charge of getting the boys from point A to point B I had to make sure they were always in time for everything so I pretty much had to see him every single day.

Now you might be asking why I always take him back and well that’s because I love him I've been in love with him since he debuted and there’s no other man like him i don’t want another man I wish I could stop loving him but loving him is all I know.

A few weeks ago he broke up with me for what feels like the million time it’s sad especially since his members pity me they give me This sad smile or when he is in the room with a new girl the boys try to make sure I’m okay.

Today I saw him again with of his many girls I can’t understand how it’s so easy for him to just throw me out like I’m garbage and even easier to come to look for me when he can’t find a new fuck toy it brakes my heart but I’m so fucking stupid that I keep letting him hurt me.

I was so sick of seeing him like that cline I was nothing like I was never part of his life when I went home I took a long bath with a bottle of wine trying to drink my pain away trying to forget his handsome face.

When I got out of the bath I got changed and walked to the back yard and sat down looking at the sky then I lit a cigarette I was never the girl that drank and smoked but after the third time of the many times Chanyeol broke up with me I try to find a way out a way to forget him and alcohol and cigarettes did the trick and every time we got back together I did stop.

As the days passed the guys started to notice a change in me I thought I had been hiding my alcohol and cigarette problem well but Kyungsoo found out he was gained to question me than the rest of the guys heard all the commotion and also started to question me luckily chanyeol still haven’t gotten here.

“Hey, have you been drinking?” Asked Kyungsoo

“N no,” I said turning away

“Yes you have I can tell and you also stink like cigarettes y/n wtf why would you do that,” he said racing his voice

“I haven’t now cat you stop,” I said turning back to face him

“Hey, what’s going on why are you guys yelling?” Junmyeon asks walking over to us

“She’s been drinking and smoking and don’t try to deny it I know what a hangover looks like and I can also tell what cigarettes smell like,” Kyungsoo said with disappointment

“Is that true? Y/n why would you do that” Minseok walking over to my side

“Don’t worry about me go get your stuff so I can tell you home” I said trying to change the subject

“Hey I know it’s about Chanyeol Hyung but don’t ruin your life like that for him trust me we hate him for what he’s been acting,” Sehun said walking up to me and hugging me

“I will get over this eventually but if this is the way it’s helping me then so let me it’s my life, not yours,” I said pushing Sehun away from me

“Hey what’s up guys what did I miss,” Chanyeol said walking into the dance practice room

“I’ll way for you outside by the car,” I said walking away as I took a brand new pack of cigarettes out of my jacket

As I was walking out the door I saw Chanyeol walking behind me but was stopped by Baekhyun and Jongin

Chanyeol pov:

I watched as y/n walked out of the dance practice room and I also saw her taking out a pack of cigarettes I turned around and asked the guys about y/n

“Hey, how long have a y/n been smoking?” I asked them

“A long time why,” Kyungsoo said

“Why didn’t you guys tell me,” I said getting mad

“You don’t care about her so what’s the point of telling you we didn’t tell her anything because we thought it wasn’t hers since she was not the type of girl to get drunk and smoke,” Baekhyun said

“I do care about her who told you I don’t,” I said getting defensive

“Dude if you did you wouldn’t have brake up multiple times you would respect her and treated her like you love her but you don’t,” Sehun said annoyed

“I know it’s none of our business but why do you keep breaking up if you're gonna end up going back to her?” Junmyeon asked

“I- I don’t know at first it was because I thought she should be with someone better but then I just liked messing around with other girls then realized that I love y/n then I went back to her but now I don’t know anymore,” I said looking at the floor

“Well either you fix your shit or you will only end up losing her for good,” Jongin said walking out of the room

I saw the way the guys walk away not looking back at me I knew they cared for Y/n I know they are siding with her because the truth is I’m the asshole I don’t know what I keep on doing this I truly love her I just got so used to this routine and didn’t saw that not only was I hurting her but also my friends and I need to fix it if I still can.

When I walked out of the building the guys were already in the car so I got in but Y/n was nowhere to be seen nor was Minseok so I asked Jongdae who was next to me and Minseok had taken Y/n out for drinks I don’t know if she drink too.

She used to be this sweet shy girl who wouldn’t drink nor smoke every time I drank she would take care of me and tell me I shouldn’t drink that much now she’s different she’s not the y/n I knew and I know I was the one who made her this way.

When we got home I was pulled to the side by Junmyeon who started to yell at me he was angry so we were there with other guys and all I could think about was if y/n was okay.

“Are you listening to anything I’m saying?” Junmyeon asked

“Sorry what did you say,” I said looking at him

“I ask if it made you feel good walking around with a different girl every week right in front of y/n do you like the way she looks at you or does it satisfy you knowing that the girl cries every day?” He asked looking at me with so much anger

“No, I didn’t know I was hurting her like that I-“ I didn’t know what else to say

“You unbelievable Chanyeol that girl is broken she’s so far gone and I know for a fact that the old y/n will never return” I saw walking past me and pushing me with his shoulder

I was so fucked I knew the boys love her she’s been with us since the beginning they care for her like family and it scares me that I’m the one who messed this up I’m the one that hurt her and I hate myself for that but I’ll try to fix it I’ll try to apologize hopefully I could do it get her back for good

Y/n pov:

After I walked out of the building I lit up my cigarette I was trying to hide my tears but I just couldn’t it hurt so much to see him so happy I felt like I was disposable like I didn’t matter to him that how he’s making me feel

As k wiped my tears I heard someone running up to me and saw that it was Minseok when he got close he took my cigar off me and turned it out then hugged me

“Hey it’s okay to feel sad you can cry don’t hold your feelings back I’m here if you ever need to talk I’m always here you know you can call me if you want a drinking buddy just call me and be like oppa telsngo for a drink and I’ll happily join you,” he said as he hugged me and kissed the top of my head

“But you get busy and tired and I don’t want to bother you,” I said wiping my tears

“It’s okay I don’t mind being tired and if I’m busy I know Sehun will love to drink with you we both know he can’t say no to a few drinks,” he said joking

“Yeah you're right but still you guys get busy and I know you get tired at the end of the day,” I said looking at him

“Don’t worry it’s alright now let’s go I know this place where they make the best good and have good alcohol what do you say? Let’s forget about everything for a while?” I asked me

“Sure let’s go but who’s taking the guys home?” I asked worried

“It’s okay I told someone that you were feeling bad and that I had to take you home so they sent someone to take the guys home now let’s go,” he said pulling me by the arm

When we were At the restaurant, we ordered our food and drink we chatted and then he asked if I wanted to talk about Chanyeol so I did I told him everything from the first time we broke up till now it hard to say it but it feels good to have told some about it than I changed the topic not wanting to talk about Chanyeol anymore so we talk about the boys and Minseok’s new girlfriend.

After a few more drinks and crying over the past Minseok took me home with the help of one of my friends when I woke up the next day my head was hurting so I got up and went to the bathroom I got cleaned up and went to the kitchen for breakfast I took my time eating than my way to get change so I can go to the boys since today they had a group meeting for their new comeback.

When I got to the building the boys were already in the lobby wetting for me and when I got close I saw Chanyeol making his way to me but a guy stopped by Baekhyun Then Junmyeon walked up to me and told me where the meeting was gonna be so we made our way there.

The whole time chanyeol kept looking at me like he wanted to tell me something but I ignored him I looked away and tried not to make eye contact with him.

After the meeting was over the boys went to their dance practice and i went to have another meeting with the managers and stuff. After it was done I went to check on the guys to see if they needed anything they told me they were all good so I walked away and on my way out the door chanyeol ran up to me and asked if we could meet up at his place to talk he said he will be quick so I agreed curiously.

After a long day of work, I went to the guys again to ask them if I was taking them or if they were gonna do something else. They said they were going out for dinner and then for some drinks so to not worry I left and my way to Chanyeol’s place.

When we arrived chanyeol was pulling up as well I waited for him in the lobby of his apartments while he parked the car. After a while he walk in the lobby and told me to follow him as we walk into the elevator we just stood there in an awkward silence until we arrived to his floor that was on the 10th floor.

When we got to the apartment he told me to make myself at home and I just scuffed but walked and took a seat on his couch a few seconds after I sat down Zzar came running from somewhere in another room and ran to Chanyeol but then turned around and run to me she jumped on the couch.

“Oh hey zzar you still remember me your such a good girl,” I said petting her

“Wow seems like she still remembers you but how can she forget the person who walked her every day and gave her delicious treats” Chanyeol said walking out to us

“So let’s cut the bullshit and get straight to the point what do you want to talk about,” I said not wanting to be here anymore

“Oh yeah umm I wanted to apologize for everything I have cussed you for all the pain I have given you I know our relationship was on/off and I also know how much I hurt you by bringing all this girl around,” he said looking down at his shoes

“Chanyeol you broke my heart no move but multiple times an apology won’t fix all the hurt you did to me,” I said getting angry

“I know I’m sorry for all the hurt I'm really sorry I wish I could fix everything I wish I could go back and not have done what I did I wish we were still together,” he said crying

“Answer me with honesty…… why did you do it in the first place? Was I a bad girlfriend? Was I bad at sex did I not satisfy you enough? Was I not pretty enough or smart? Is it my lack of experience what do all of those girls have that I don’t why do they get to go home with you and why do I get to go home and cry myself to sleep thinking I was the perfect girlfriend” I said crying

“Have you been blaming yourself all this time? Did you think every time we broke up was your fault?” He asked whipping his tears that were still falling

“Yes, every single time I thought it was me I still think so…. Is it my fault” I asked in a quiet voice

“Oh god no baby it’s never Ben your fault no once it’s always been mine I've been so greedy I thought of myself and not one of you or your feelings I know it was a dick move on my part at first I thought I would be happier in a new relationship but after a few days I regret it than I come crowing back to you and for some reason, you always took me back so I did it again until it became a habit than I saw Minseok hyung with his girlfriend and I remember you I remember how that used to be us but I had to mess it up,” he said sobbing

“Why did you do it you regret it why didn’t you stop when you felt regret why did you keep doing it” I asked confused

“Because I’m so stupid because I thought you would always take me back after breaking you but then someone told me that at some point you will get tired that you will relies on that you deserve better so I had to stop it”

“Y/n why do you keep taking me back every single time I break your heart I hurt you and yet you still receive me with open arms why,” he asked looking at me

“Because after so long of knowing you of loving you…. You kind of become my everything how loving you is all I know that’s why I always take you back” I said smiling

“Why Cigarettes why alcohol that not you at all why fuck I fucked up so bad,” he said crying harder this time

“Cigarettes and alcohol were my way of forgetting about you for a while it was like my escape from reality it made me feel numb,” I said smiling sadly

“This time I promise you I will be better I will be honest I will be the perfect boyfriend I will treat you like you deserve to be treated,” I said moving closer to me and holding my hand

“Look chanyeol I don’t think I can do this anymore I can’t trust you I can let myself fall for your lies once again I don’t think I can go through this all over again in hurt I’m tired of this cycle

I don’t want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t love me like I love them” I said placing his dog on the couch and getting up

“Please I promise I will be better I will be the man you need and deserve please give me a chance I will be better this time I promise,” he said staying up as well

“I think you need to look for help because what you have been doing isn’t right take time off dating and messing around fix yourself,” I said looking up at him.

“If I do all that will you take me back will you give me a chance?” He begged

“I don’t know I need time to heal for all this I need time for myself I don’t want to give you hope because you did hurt me pretty badly,” I said looking away from his kicked puppy eyes

“I love you more than you think I do and I regret everything I have down I will do everything to fix everything I will fight for you I will make you fall in love with me it will be like a new start like getting to know each other for the first time hopefully I can make you fall in love with me once again and when I succeeded I will make sure to treat you like a queen to be the loyal boyfriend I should have been in the beginning I promise you that if it’s the last thing I do” he said hugging me tight

“Yeol I said it once before and I’ll say it again I love you and loving you is all I know but don’t push your luck and hope I know you are a good guy but I need healing and sometimes it might take years or forever I might move on from you.” I said giving him a sad smile

“Will you still work with us I will still get to see you right?” H eased hopeful

“This is my last week I will work for NCT there are a lot of boys that need my assistance you might see me around the building but I don’t guarantee that you will,” I said looking at him

“Oh I- “ I try to say something but stay silent

“Well, I have to go now I have a lot to prepare I won’t see you for the rest of the week I hope you have a good life and I hope you actually change l, bye Yeol I love you,” I said walking away from him and out of his apartment.

Chanyeol pov

I was so lost she was actually leaving me for good I was so late way too late for everything I should’ve apologized years earlier I should’ve never done anything I did I should’ve worshiped her when I heard her now I’m looking at her walk away from me and out my life as I did to her now it was my turn to pay for the pain I cause her it was my turn to suffer and feel everything she felt.

I was s,o stupid why did I think she would take me back like before Kyungsoo was right she would get tired and give up on me and she did she relished she deserved better and walked away and I didn’t blame her but I won’t give up I will fight for her I will wing her over and make thing right this time. For now I’ll be fixing myself first hopefully she doesn’t move on but if she does I won’t be mad I will make sure this new person in her life treats her better than I ever did.

- sorry if there’s any errors 🥺

[psychewritesbs]

Crazy how loads of people from this fandom lacks faith in Megumi yet you've got the strongest sorcerer of today and the strongest sorcerer in history simultaneously vouch for him.

Gojo confidently believing Megumi will push through and know the truth about his father.

Sukuna, who pushed Higuruma and recognized his talent yet still said he wasn't anything special, but for some reason he never exhibited that kind of attitude to Megumi despite screwing with him over and over. It begs the question, what it is that they see in him doesn't it? Yet people prefer to ask dumbly why Megumi is acting the way he does as if the reason hadn't been made clear since the beginning.

And can we talk about the blatant hypocrisy in this fandom? People are comparing him to Yuji as if what he's going through is any different than that of Yuji in Shibuya. Did they conveniently forget how Todo had to step in and talk no jutsu Yuji to pick himself up cause he was so down in the dumps?

There's also the rampant complaints about characters not reacting emotionally to deaths and yet we have a character right now, whose reacting emotionally to the death of a loved one yet they're chastising him for it? Which is it really?

Welcome to jjk-confessions Sunday, not on a Sunday as per usual.

I'm going to repackage your ask and frame it using the following formula:

Megumi = the shadow.

The shadow = the repository of repressed or rejected aspects of our personality.

TLDR; Megumi catches very interesting projections to say the least.

Like potential man isn't even a bad meme tbh, because he is potential man. That's Megumi. But like, it's the attitude towards the idea that he is having such a hard time reaching his potential (something that is VERY understandable given his backstory and how that affected his sense of self).

I swear every time I see something bad about Megumi (other than "I just don't like him", "he doesn't speak to me", or "I couldn't get invested because xyz was missing from the narrative--that is actually lacking"), there's always some sort of rejection of vulnerability at the core of it.

Which as I have said only like 350,068,023 million times already I've been keeping track, Megumi rejects his vulnerability.

So when I see a lot of the comments about Megumi, what I see is the complete rejection of one's humanity if I'm honest. Like, everyone in jjk is being shown to have some kind of very flawed perception of the world, and for some reason Megumi picks up projections around being a bitch for someone, being weak, pathetic... do I keep going?

And this is all so interesting to observe because he is such a beautiful character when you take the time to understand him. Gege cooked with Megumi.

Idk, I can't help but feel like it's interesting how Gege keeps breaking the 4th wall with jjk, and Megumi is one of the ways he's doing it. And idk about y'all, but I think he's very conscious of how he directs his energy towards the fandom.

idk how to explain well. Hopefully that makes some sort of sense lol.

Anyways. Thanks for sending a letter in anon. We remain strong.

[fullstcp]

"The Sun Will Come Up, The Seasons Will Change" by Nina Nesbitt Sentence Starters

SACRED

"Lately I'm getting too drunk at the same old club."

"I'm living my life on a budget, trying to find love."

"I don't want a lover who I'm only gonna love when I'm wasted."

"I want something sacred. I want something amazing."

"But inside I feel funny, feel dirty, feel out of place."

"It's part of the journey, they tell me, but I just want to escape this."

"I know strangers better than my friends."

"All these people just play pretend."

"There ain't no integrity, no."

THE MOMENTS I'M MISSING

"I met a boy, first time I kissed him, well, it was the last."

"I got afraid when everyone there started moving too fast."

"These are the moments I'm missing."

"These are the moments I never took in when I was just standing there wishing I could grow up and my life would be different."

"I've been so caught in the motion."

"But I had a dream, I had a goal."

"I met somebody who changed my life."

"That fucked me up, so then I had issues with falling in love."

THE BEST YOU HAD

"Does she/he/they ever feel like me?"

"Do you ever talk about us?"

"Is it just the bad times we had?"

"It's been three weeks and I'm going out my mind."

"I've been using bodies just to get me through the night."

"Is it the same high?"

"It's crazy that you're moving on so fast."

"It's okay if I am still the best you had."

"It hurts that you would just leave like that."

"Nobody did it like us."

"Nobody did it like you did."

"I know that we're fucked, but you know my ego is stupid."

"I don't want you, no, nothing more."

"I don't need you."

COLDER

"Used to be vulnerable."

"Used to be dumb."

"I used to give it all."

"Why'd you never trust?"

"Why'd you never love?"

"Whey'd you never let them in?"

"Why'd you hurt them?"

"All they do is fuck my head up."

"Don't you wanna stay?"

"Don't you wanna try?"

"You know you could make it right."

"Don't just give in."

LOYAL TO ME

"We're in and out of love."

"We're vulnerable, but we'll tell you that we're tough."

"Take your heart and turn around while you still can."

"I got somewhere else to be."

"I don't lose my head for nobody."

"If you have to question, 'is he loyal to me?', well then he's probably not and you should probably leave."

"Swears you're the one, but he's not the label type."

"They're not loyal to me."

SOMEBODY SPECIAL

"You could turn this bar into a good time."

"You see the best in me."

"You're making me believe that I'm somebody special."

"I've been losing but lately, you've got me thinking maybe I got potential to be somebody special."

"You would do anything just to make me believe that I'm somebody special."

"I've been lonely way too long."

"I've been loving all the wrong kind."

"I've been falling in your arms feeling like I'm good here for life."

IS IT REALLY ME YOU'RE MISSING

"Is it really me you're missing? Or am I the only one who'll listen?"

"I hope you know just how much it hurts to believe you."

"I should cut this off, but I need you."

"I should help myself, but I can't help myself."

"And if I pick up the phone tonight, will it be pieces by the morning?"

"Am I the only number that you've tried? Or is it just another lonely night?"

"Everybody tells me what I should've done now."

"I only ever tell them when you're letting me down."

"I hope you know just how much I've wanted to leave you."

"There's nobody else that can be you."

"And when you get what you wanted, is that the end of the story?"

"I know you'll never be sorry."

LOVE LETTER

"We started good, crossed our hearts, we made a promise."

"All my friends say you're dishonest."

"You had me questioning what I was worth."

"You said it would be different."

"You couldn't get it together."

"I tried to make it work, gave a million chances."

"I know I can do better."

"You were getting way too comfortable."

EMPIRE

"I haven't played a show in so long."

"People keep asking me where I have gone."

"I started fading quick."

"I guess that I lost my sight."

"I was way too young."

"I guess I'll never learn."

"It's all that I'm thinking about."

"I'm gonna take it for what it's worth."

"Everyone in this game, we lie too much."

"We're doing it for the love."

"I'm not ashamed to say, that I wanna be rich someday."

"I'm gonna show them just what they're worth."

"Gonna build an empire."

"Gonna build a castle in my head and a kingdom from my bed."

CHLOE

"Something about you has changed."

"There's a look in your eyes."

"I know that you found the answer."

"Am I doing it right?"

"I don't think I found the answer."

"We are drifting apart, but I'm still here for you."

THINGS I SAY WHEN YOU SLEEP

"I know I let you down before."

"When I'm sad, my eyes run like streams."

"That's how I know that you're the one for me."

"I think about you on the train."

"Love the way you say my second name."

"It seems, without you, I'm insane."

"Now you're asleep, but I'm gonna say it anyway. I love you."

"You took me to heaven when I had no faith, and showed me love is really like."

LAST DECEMBER

"You were different to anyone I'd ever known."

"When I met you, I felt like I wanted to save you somehow."

"I loved the way you always put me first."

"You gave me your best and I gave you my worst."

"I took it for granted because I couldn't see why you'd let me in just to get hurt."

"Moments stay when people leave."

"Don't think that I don't remember it all now."

"You were the safety blanket I needed most."

"You were so drunk out your mind."

"It's all I remember."

"But that was last December, and this is now."

THE SUN WILL COME UP, THE SEASONS WILL CHANGE

"Crazy that I was stood right here just five years ago, with the heat on my skin and a lover who's now someone I don't know."

"You don't see it when it's happening. Happens over time."

"My life's uncertain and sometimes it's strange."

"One thing I've learned is it won't stay the same."

"Even in the darkness, I'll be okay."

"The sun will come up, the seasons will change."

"Crazy how much my life has changed in just a year."

"There's people I've met, people I've left, and some that didn't make it here."

[blogger-yura]

Entry #57 Mar 20th '24

#YurasLife #WholesomeWednesday #SelfLove #MyHandsome

𝐖𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐖𝐞𝐝𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐝𝐚𝐲 - 𝐒𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞

And before winter ends, how can I not write a little something about the person who made it all so much warmer?

It has been a bit since my last Wholesome Wednesday, hasn't it? But right now, it's the perfect chance in my humble opinion. The perfect chance to talk a little bit about ourselves, love, and what we deserve. Naturally, it means me talking about my boyfriend– But also, all the things I've come to learn with him. Thanks to him?

There's this quote, it goes "no one will love you if you can't love yourself first." I'm not going to go in depth about why and how it's such a harmful and wrong thing to believe, but I will say: Are we really imposible to love just because we struggle to find light on who we are? Couldn't be loved, maybe, help us appreciate the person we've become with time?

I personally used to believe it's easier to know the love we deserve if we already value ourselves– But who says someone else can't teach us what we truly deserve? What even is the definition of love we know. Who teaches us what love is? Our parents? Teachers? Friends? There's so many aspects to love. And there's so many things to love about one self...

Is it really wrong if we don't love everything about ourselves? Does it really mean no one should love us, then?

• 𝐘𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐛𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆

𝐈 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐤𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐈 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐞𝐝 •

I was wrong on that one belief, "it's easier to know what we deserve if we value ourselves"... Because I learned I didn't really value all I had to offer. It's hard, isn't it? To come to terms and admit that there's things we aren't proud of within ourselves. We don't love or appreciate or struggle to change. And it's okay, really, to want to change. But being loved... Ah, being loved regardless of what we don't love? Having those little perks loved, don't you think that gives us a different view of who we are?

I've learned with San that there's so much about me that I repressed. I simply didn't show, I didn't want people to see or know about me. About my looks, my family, my life, my past. Things I didn't share but were such a fundamental part of who I am. And you'll think, how could he love you, then? How could San possibly love me if he didn't know all these parts of me? And that's where we're wrong, aren't we?

Love isn't unconditional or blind. But love is about wanting to learn, know, and grow. Love isn't always an educated decision, but it's a willing decision to be educated. San loved me regardless. Regardless of all the things I didn't love. And as he found out, as he became familiar with my insecurities and fears, he decided to keep loving me even more. Make up for the love I'm missing.

Isn't that teaching me how to love? Isn't that teaching me the love I deserve?

Maybe I'm wrong. Of course I could be wrong. But there's one thing I know for certain, and is that I'd never settle for less than his love. This love he gives is the one I decide I deserve. And I think we all should be loved in such a way that teaches us what we should allow in our lives.

Not even in a million years I ever thought I would be allowing someone to see me in all the ways San does. But not even in a million years did I think someone would look at me through his eyes in the way he does.

Just the little thought of the day to summarize. Allow love to exist around you. Allow love to make its way to you. Being scared is okay, but missing out because of fear is something you will regret. You are deserving of love, even if you don't think you do. All those flaws you see, all those insecurities... I promise you, really, someone will love.

Ah, that was a bit of a ramble! Wasn't it? A bit embarrassing. I've just been thinking a lot about love, don't you too sometimes? As spring comes around, it always makes me a bit emotional.

I'll call it a day! I'll head out. I still have some work to catch up on after so long! I'll be back, though. So watch out! And wait for me~.

As always, I'll see you on the next blog! All the love, my darling readers. –Yura ♡

❄️: @clubwnderland [💙] @moonlightchn @kimheebby @nana-n-nono @coffeexdreamcb @silcntxnight @livealittleoc-cb @minsour-r @multi-esme @urtwice @san-cb @reve-rv @domrachaa @oppositesattraxt @lunaaofthemoon @badbf-cb @domxbot @the-hellhounds @monsterhigh-cb @theinvitation-bot @hwangroyaltycb @welcometosector1 @multi-joong @vanilladaises-rp @beastfights-starting @redlight-cb @yourmysticalgirls-cb @hybridsheltercb @kardpackcb @beaconhillsxbot @yandereyeri @glamrockpop-cb @angelsxdemons-cb @screamcb @shin-haneul @fallenangels-cb

[observeowl]

Right By Your Side | Chapter 1 - Theme Park

Summary: In the world where wearing glasses makes you a different person. You were forced to swallow a pill that turned you into seven years old. Now, you're living with your crush in a small form, what would you do? Who were the ones who brought this to you? And, can you change back?

Chapter summary: The beginning of times. Making Natasha fulfil her promise after losing a bet.

Series Masterlist

Natasha made a bet with you and she lost. She actually lost, the Black Widow- okay, that's enough. She's going to kill me if I keep repeating this. The condition was, the loser has to fulfil one wish of the winner.

I have been keeping this trump card that I have for some time, waiting for the perfect opportunity to use it. It's not everyday I can threaten Natasha with something. I mean... how many people can say that and remain alive?

Today, I finally found the right time to use it. Both of us are free from any duties apart from the paperwork which were not urgent. But knowing Natasha she's probably in her office doing them. She has the highest work efficiency rate in SHIELD apart from Commander Hill.

"Natasha!" I burst into her room without knocking. She always rolls her eyes when I do this. She says she hates it but I know she secretly loves it. If she really wanted me to stop, I'm sure there's a million and one way to do so.

"What do you want from me Y/N?" She dropped her pen and slumped back into her chair.

"You remember the bet...?" I wiggled my eyebrows and slowly made my way to the chairs in front of her desk.

"What bet?" Nat tried to wiggle her way out of this by feigning innocence.

"Don't try to lie. A widow never forgets." I reminded her. She always used this phrase when I tried to sneak out of training and begged her to just let me go and I would make it up to her on the next training.

"I want you to go to the themepark with me." I told her.

"Find someone else. Find your girlfriend. Why me???" Natasha shook her head immediately, knocking down the idea. Natasha is not the type to go to a happy place. It doesn't match the vibe she's trying to portray.

"But I don't have one. You're the closest one to a girlfriend. We kissed on a mission before." I remembered the time Natasha took me by surprise when she kissed me on the escalator, trying to evade being seen by a Hydra agent.

"That was for a mission!"

"But you're the only one I've kissed. Come on... please... you promised me." I had to beg her to join even though she was the one who lost the bet. The truth was, I have a crush on her, though I'll never admit it. In our line of work, relationships are something always taken advantage of. She would be safer without me.

"Urgghh... fine." Nat finally gave in after hearing me incessantly begging her. Again, if she really wanted me out, she could have dragged me out of her office and lock it

"Only because I want to get your stupid bet over and done with."

"I can't believe you really thought you would win, against someone with a photographic memory." It was game night but Steve wanted to incorporate some training elements in it so it ended up being 'spot the difference'. Nat and I were always competitive with each other so we threw in a bet to up the stakes. Nat was really confident she could win or tie it, she was close, only missing one minor detail, the colour.

"So when are we going?" Nat glanced back to her computer to key in the information she wrote down.

"Now." I replied.

---

"Alright... stop putting your grumpy pants on and have fun!" I said as I passed her ticket. She had her arms crossed in front of her chest, glancing around as if on a mission. I don't even know if she's been to a theme park before.

Nat reached out her hand to take the ticket but I grabbed it instead and started pulling her around, showing her things she may not have experienced before. "You don't have to drag me!" I probably looked like a hysterical friend, dragging her around to the first line I saw for a ride.

While waiting for our turn on the line, we were talking about others. Mainly how Sam and Pietro always cause trouble around but they do it on a bad timing and have no one else to pin it on. They have been doing this for ages now, they need to buck up their game.

"Other than a photographic memory, I can also tell a person's occupation just by their looks." I carried on with the conversation.

"You don't have to be such a show off." Natasha scoffed.

I could tell from her face that she's not believing my words. "You want to bet again?" I smirked, hoping to bring her down again this time.

"I'm not stupid to do it again."

"Fine. Anyway, the lady in front of us is a gymnast." Nat rolled her eyes as if I'm speaking nonsense. I tapped the lady's shoulders and introduced myself. I explained to her that my friend doesn't believe that you're a gymnast and she widened her eyes.

"How do you know I'm a gymnast?" She expressed.

"When I shook your hand I felt the callus on your palm. You must be practising for a long time."

"That's amazing!"

I left her to her friends and went back to Natasha. "Believe me now?" She could only sighed and shocked her head. We moved forwards slightly. We were reaching the front of the line and it's nearly our turn.

"Okay, I may have seen the mark underneath her skirt when the wind blew." I was talking about the horizontal line that went across both legs. A gymnast has to swing on the bar so that's where she got it from.

"Pervert."

"It was an accident. I wasn't looking for it." I defended myself.

It was soon our turn and we took our seats on the roller coaster, placed the guard in front of us and waited for the roller coaster to move off. " Hey, do you know what's my favourite line from Sherlock Holmes?" I nudged her side playfully.

"Do you want me to ride the roller coaster or listen to your rambling? I heard it enough in the compound!" Natasha sounds frustrated.

"Sorry." It wasn't my intention to make this trip a bad one. I just didn't want to give Natasha time to think about her work. It was meant to be a relaxing trip, but I guess I ruined it.

"If I were assured of your destruction eventuality I would, in the interest of the public, cheerfully accept my death. Of course I know. You repeated it countless times. I can't even forget it if I tried." Nat chuckled lightly, alleviating the pressure slightly.

Series Masterlist

[wordstome]

For the character ask game! ❤️

2. and 3. (Favourite and least favourite canon thing about König)

4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?

9. Could you be roommates with this character 🤪?

14. Assign a fashion aesthetic to this character.

25. What was your frst impression of this character? How about now?

2. My favorite canon thing about König His enormous co— Considering there's so little canon content of him, every little detail about him has become an integral part of his characterization, so it's hard to pick a favorite. But if I had to, it's probably his sheer anonymity: the other operators, even the fully masked ones, have a full name. König is just the German word for king. Girl...who the fuck is this guy??? Combined with the sparsity of his bio, his whole vibe is incredibly mysterious. You could launch a thousand headcanons on him and they check out. He's just a fun character to come up with ideas for.

3. Least favorite canon thing about König His voice actor...look, I want to make it very clear I respect Jim Boeven's work. He's great at his job and his work as König is both well done and provided a lot of sorely needed insight into his personality. I don't even dislike his voice itself: a lot of people on tiktok (children) don't like his voice because they think the accent is goofy or they're disappointed it's not Corpse Husband-deep. I think his voice is really sexy and has so much personality. But man...I wish his voice actor was a better person. Or at least stayed off the internet. (This doesn't bother me as much as it bothers other people, though. I just forget Boeven exists most of the time)

4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in? Oooooh, delicious idea. I've actually played with the idea of putting him in different aus/intellectual properties, everything from Star Trek to ACOTAR-style high fantasy. But the answer is very obviously A Song Of Ice and Fire (Game of Thrones). I mean.........come on. Come on. He's like if the Mountain oozed sex appeal (Sorry to Gregor Clegane fuckers) and was slightly less awful (at least König works to take down human trafficking cells). There's this scene in the first book at Daenerys's wedding to Khal Drogo where part of the celebration is that there are dancers and Khal Drogo's men just grab them and fuck them right then and there. It's clearly meant to be shocking and not a turn-on, but the way it was described was literally all I could think about while reading Fatum. Good God.

9. Could you be roommates with this character 🤪? Yes and we would have the nastiest se— Look, I'll be honest with you. In real life, I would stay a million miles away from this man. I would never even have the chance to cross paths with him. But if we just happened to become roommates? ...yeah, actually. As a military man he probably keeps his spaces tidy as a habit, and he'd be gone most of the time on deployment while still paying his share of the rent. He also likely keeps to himself and wouldn't be bringing around friends to disturb me (my poor guy). I'm not conceited enough to think that I'm so gorgeous and sexy that he would be too intimidated to talk to me, but I do think he would avoid interacting with me in general, which ideal in a roommate for me. In exchange, I pretend not to notice my underwear going missing or that I don't hear him say my name while he jerks off! Win-win.

14. Assign a fashion aesthetic to this character. I need to go find these posts and add them to the Königcore bible, but there's this one post with accompanying art that's basically like "kpop boy airport fashion Horangi x dad on a fishing trip König" with a picture of König in these waders and it's so cute. Also that one post about several COD characters' fashion senses, where König's mostly consists of jackets and sweatpants. I love both of those aesthetics! My favorite outfit to imagine him in, of course, is a black compression shirt and gray sweatpants with no boxers...

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now? First impression: the hood is both creepy and corny as hell Now: *slams down an essay-length diatribe on him as a character* how much time do you have to hear about my insane boyfriend

[beckface]

Why Miss Power was actually in the right…

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly.

Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.

The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.

Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.

Ooh, black and yellow!

Let's shake it up a little.

Barry! Breakfast is ready!

Coming!

Hang on a second.

Hello?

Barry?

Adam?

Can you believe this is happening?

I can't.

I'll pick you up.

Looking sharp.

Use the stairs, Your father paid good money for those.

Sorry. I'm excited.

Here's the graduate.

We're very proud of you, son.

A perfect report card, all B's.

Very proud.

Ma! I got a thing going here.

You got lint on your fuzz.

Ow! That's me!

Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000.

Bye!

Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!

Hey, Adam.

Hey, Barry.

Is that fuzz gel?

A little. Special day, graduation.

Never thought I'd make it.

Three days grade school, three days high school.

Those were awkward.

Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around The Hive.

You did come back different.

Hi, Barry. Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.

Hear about Frankie?

Yeah.

You going to the funeral?

No, I'm not going.

Everybody knows, sting someone, you die.

Don't waste it on a squirrel.

Such a hothead.

I guess he could have just gotten out of the way.

I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day.

That's why we don't need vacations.

Boy, quite a bit of pomp under the circumstances.

Well, Adam, today we are men.

We are!

Bee-men.

Amen!

Hallelujah!

Students, faculty, distinguished bees,

please welcome Dean Buzzwell.

Welcome, New Hive City graduating class of 9:15.

That concludes our ceremonies And begins your career at Honex Industries!

Will we pick our job today?

I heard it's just orientation.

Heads up! Here we go.

Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times.

Wonder what it'll be like?

A little scary.

Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group.

This is it!

Wow.

Wow.

We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life.

Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to The Hive.

Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey!

That girl was hot.

She's my cousin!

She is?

Yes, we're all cousins.

Right. You're right.

At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence.

These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology.

What do you think he makes?

Not enough.

Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman.

What does that do?

Catches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it.

Saves us millions.

Can anyone work on the Krelman?

Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones.

But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot.

But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life.

The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that.

What's the difference?

You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years.

So you'll just work us to death?

We'll sure try.

Wow! That blew my mind!

"What's the difference?"

How can you say that?

One job forever?

That's an insane choice to have to make.

I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life.

But, Adam, how could they never have told us that?

Why would you question anything? We're bees.

We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth.

You ever think maybe things work a little too well here?

Like what? Give me one example.

I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about.

Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach.

Wait a second. Check it out.

Hey, those are Pollen Jocks!

Wow.

I've never seen them this close.

They know what it's like outside The Hive.

Yeah, but some don't come back.

Hey, Jocks!

Hi, Jocks!

You guys did great!

You're monsters!

You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it!

I wonder where they were.

I don't know.

Their day's not planned.

Outside The Hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what.

You can't just decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that.

Right.

Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime.

It's just a status symbol.

Bees make too much of it.

Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it.

Those ladies?

Aren't they our cousins too?

Distant. Distant.

Look at these two.

Couple of Hive Harrys.

Let's have fun with them.

It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock.

Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom!

He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me!

Oh, my!

I never thought I'd knock him out.

What were you doing during this?

Trying to alert the authorities.

I can autograph that.

A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades?

Yeah. Gusty.

We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow.

Six miles, huh?

Barry!

A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it.

Maybe I am.

You are not!

We're going 0900 at J-Gate.

What do you think, buzzy-boy?

Are you bee enough?

I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means.

Hey, Honex!

Dad, you surprised me.

You decide what you're interested in?

Well, there's a lot of choices.

But you only get one.

Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day?

Son, let me tell you about stirring.

You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around.

You get yourself into a rhythm.

It's a beautiful thing.

You know, Dad, the more I think about it,

maybe the honey field just isn't right for me.

You were thinking of what, making balloon animals?

That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger.

Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey!

Barry, you are so funny sometimes.

I'm not trying to be funny.

You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer!

You're gonna be a stirrer?

No one's listening to me!

Wait till you see the sticks I have.

I could say anything right now.

I'm gonna get an ant tattoo!

Let's open some honey and celebrate!

Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"!

I'm so proud.

We're starting work today!

Today's the day.

Come on! All the good jobs will be gone.

Yeah, right.

Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal...

Is it still available?

Hang on. Two left!

One of them's yours! Congratulations!

Step to the side.

What'd you get?

Picking crud out. Stellar!

Wow!

Couple of newbies?

Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready!

Make your choice.

You want to go first?

No, you go.

Oh, my. What's available?

Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think.

Any chance of getting the Krelman?

Sure, you're on.

I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out.

Wax monkey's always open.

The Krelman opened up again.

What happened?

A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one.

Deady. Deadified. Two more dead.

Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life!

Oh, this is so hard!

Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler.

Barry, what do you think I should... Barry?

Barry!

All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine...

What happened to you?

Where are you?

I'm going out.

Out? Out where?

Out there.

Oh, no!

I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life.

You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello?

Another call coming in.

If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today.

Hey, guys.

Look at that.

Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday?

Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted.

It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up.

Really? Feeling lucky, are you?

Sign here, here. Just initial that.

Thank you.

OK.

You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain.

So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats.

Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us.

Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada!

That's awful.

And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans!

All right, launch positions!

Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!

Black and yellow!

Hello!

You ready for this, hot shot?

Yeah. Yeah, bring it on.

Wind, check.

Antennae, check.

Nectar pack, check.

Wings, check.

Stinger, check.

Scared out of my shorts, check.

OK, ladies,

let's move it out!

Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers!

All of you, drain those flowers!

Wow! I'm out!

I can't believe I'm out!

So blue.

I feel so fast and free!

Box kite!

Wow!

Flowers!

This is Blue Leader, We have roses visual.

Bring it around 30 degrees and hold.

Roses!

30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around.

Stand to the side, kid.

It's got a bit of a kick.

That is one nectar collector!

Ever see pollination up close?

No, sir.

I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one.

See that? It's a little bit of magic.

That's amazing. Why do we do that?

That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us.

Cool.

I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow, Could be daisies, Don't we need those?

Copy that visual.

Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move.

Say again? You're reporting a moving flower?

Affirmative.

That was on the line!

This is the coolest. What is it?

I don't know, but I'm loving this color.

It smells good.

Not like a flower, but I like it.

Yeah, fuzzy.

Chemical-y.

Careful, guys. It's a little grabby.

My sweet lord of bees!

Candy-brain, get off there!

Problem!

Guys!

This could be bad.

Affirmative.

Very close.

Gonna hurt.

Mama's little boy.

You are way out of position, rookie!

Coming in at you like a missile!

Help me!

I don't think these are flowers.

Should we tell him?

I think he knows.

What is this?!

Match point!

You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it!

Yowser!

Gross.

There's a bee in the car!

Do something!

I'm driving!

Hi, bee.

He's back here!

He's going to sting me!

Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze!

He blinked!

Spray him, Granny!

What are you doing?!

Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable.

I gotta get home.

Can't fly in rain. Can't fly in rain. Can't fly in rain.

Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down!

Ken, could you close the window please?

Ken, could you close the window please?

Check out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out.

Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this.

What was that?

Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes!

That is diabolical.

It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies.

What's number one? Star Wars?

Nah, I don't go for that... kind of stuff.

No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds.

When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say.

There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out.

I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it.

I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me.

Wait! Stop! Bee!

Stand back. These are winter boots.

Wait!

Don't kill him!

You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me!

Why does his life have less value than yours?

Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement?

I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling.

My brochure!

There you go, little guy.

I'm not scared of him.It's an allergic thing.

Put that on your resume brochure.

My whole face could puff up.

Make it one of your special skills.

Knocking someone out is also a special skill.

Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks.

Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night?

Sure, Ken. You know, whatever.

You could put carob chips on there.

Bye.

Supposed to be less calories.

Bye.

I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something.

All right, here it goes.

Nah.

What would I say?

I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human.

I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to.

Oh, I can't do it. Come on!

No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't.

How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good.

Here she comes! Speak, you fool!

Hi!

I'm sorry. You're talking.

Yes, I know.

You're talking!

I'm so sorry.

No, it's OK. It's fine.

I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed.

Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting.

This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee!

I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me.

And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised.

That was a little weird. I'm talking with a bee.

Yeah.

I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me!

I just want to say I'm grateful.

I'll leave now.

Wait! How did you learn to do that?

What?

The talking thing.

Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up.

That's very funny.

Yeah.

Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with.

Anyway... Can I... get you something?

Like what?

I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Coffee?

I don't want to put you out.

It's no trouble. It takes two minutes.

It's just coffee.

I hate to impose.

Don't be ridiculous!

Actually, I would love a cup.

Hey, you want rum cake?

I shouldn't.

Have some.

No, I can't.

Come on!

I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms.

Where?

These stripes don't help.

You look great!

I don't know if you know anything about fashion.

Are you all right?

No.

He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison.

He finally gets there.

He runs up the steps into the church.

The wedding is on.

And he says, "Watermelon?

I thought you said Guatemalan.

Why would I marry a watermelon?"

Is that a bee joke?

That's the kind of stuff we do.

Yeah, different.

So, what are you gonna do, Barry?

About work? I don't know.

I want to do my part for The Hive, but I can't do it the way they want.

I know how you feel.

You do?

Sure.

My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist.

Really?

My only interest is flowers.

Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan.

Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it?

You're in Sheep Meadow!

Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond!

No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once.

Why do girls put rings on their toes?

Why not?

It's like putting a hat on your knee.

Maybe I'll try that.

You all right, ma'am?

Oh, yeah. Fine.

Just having two cups of coffee!

Anyway, this has been great.

Thanks for the coffee.

Yeah, it's no trouble.

Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life.

Are you...?

Can I take a piece of this with me?

Sure! Here, have a crumb.

Thanks!

Yeah.

All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not.

OK, Barry.

And thank you so much again... for before.

Oh, that? That was nothing.

Well, not nothing, but... Anyway...

This can't possibly work.

He's all set to go.

We may as well try it.

OK, Dave, pull the chute.

Sounds amazing.

It was amazing!

It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life.

Humans! I can't believe you were with humans!

Giant, scary humans!

What were they like?

Huge and crazy. They talk crazy.

They eat crazy giant things.

They drive crazy.

Do they try and kill you, like on TV?

Some of them. But some of them don't.

How'd you get back?

Poodle.

You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see.

You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal.

Well...

Well?

Well, I met someone.

You did? Was she Bee-ish?

A wasp?! Your parents will kill you!

No, no, no, not a wasp.

Spider?

I'm not attracted to spiders.

I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face.

So who is she?

She's... human.

No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law.

Her name's Vanessa.

Oh, boy.

She's so nice. And she's a florist!

Oh, no! You're dating a human florist!

We're not dating.

You're flying outside The Hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite!

She saved my life! And she understands me.

This is over!

Eat this.

This is not over! What was that?

They call it a crumb.

It was so stingin' stripey!

And that's not what they eat.

That's what falls off what they eat!

You know what a Cinnabon is?

No.

It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up...

Sit down!

...really hot!

Listen to me!

We are not them! We're us.

There's us and there's them!

Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning?

There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me!

You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee!

Thinking bee.

Thinking bee.

Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee!

There he is. He's in the pool.

You know what your problem is, Barry?

I gotta start thinking bee?

How much longer will this go on?

It's been three days! Why aren't you working?

I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about.

What life? You have no life!

You have no job. You're barely a bee!

Would it kill you to make a little honey?

Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you.

Martin, would you talk to him?

Barry, I'm talking to you!

You coming?

Got everything?

All set!

Go ahead. I'll catch up.

Don't be too long.

Watch this!

Vanessa!

We're still here.

I told you not to yell at him.

He doesn't respond to yelling!

Then why yell at me?

Because you don't listen!

I'm not listening to this.

Sorry, I've gotta go.

Where are you going?

I'm meeting a friend.

A girl? Is this why you can't decide?

Bye.

I just hope she's Bee-ish.

They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena?

To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream!

Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering.

A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events?

No. All right, I've got one.

How come you don't fly everywhere?

It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster.

Yeah, OK, I see, I see.

All right, your turn.

TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane!

You don't have that?

We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease.

Oh, my.

Dumb bees!

You must want to sting all those jerks.

We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us.

So you have to watch your temper.

Very carefully.

You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust.

Oh, my goodness! Are you OK?

Yeah.

What is wrong with you?!

It's a bug.

He's not bothering anybody.

Get out of here, you creep!

What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular?

Yeah, it was. How did you know?

It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit.

You've really got that down to a science.

I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue.

I'll bet.

What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this?

How did this get here? cute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select?

Is he that actor?

I never heard of him.

Why is this here?

For people. We eat it.

You don't have enough food of your own?

Well, yes.

How do you get it?

Bees make it.

I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it!

There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing!

It's organic.

It's our-ganic!

It's just honey, Barry.

Just what?!

Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing!

You've taken our homes, schools,hospitals! This is all we have!

And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this.

I'm getting to the bottom of all of this!

Hey, Hector. You almost done?

Almost.

He is here. I sense it.

Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around.

You're busted, box boy!

I knew I heard something.

So you can talk!

I can talk. And now you'll start talking!

Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier?

I don't understand.

I thought we were friends.

The last thing we want to do is upset bees!

You're too late! It's ours now!

You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword!

You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio!

Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where!

Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms!

Crazy person!

What horrible thing has happened here?

These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now

they're on the road to nowhere!

Just keep still.

What? You're not dead?

Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed?

To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here.

I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off!

I'm going to Tacoma.

And you?

He really is dead.

All right.

Uh-oh!

What is that?!

Oh, no!

A wiper! Triple blade!

Triple blade?

Jump on! It's your only chance, bee!

Why does everything have

to be so doggone clean?!

How much do you people need to see?!

Open your eyes!

Stick your head out the window!

From NPR News in Washington,

I'm Carl Kasell.

But don't kill no more bugs!

Bee!

Moose blood guy!!

You hear something?

Like what?

Like tiny screaming.

Turn off the radio.

Whassup, bee boy?

Hey, Blood.

Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see.

Wow!

I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours.

Bees hang tight. We're all jammed in.

It's a close community.

Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own.

What if you get in trouble?

You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack!

At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls.

Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito.

You got to be kidding me!

Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee!

Hey, guys!

Mooseblood!

I knew I'd catch y'all down here.

Did you bring your crazy straw?

We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit.

What is this place?

A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead.

They are pinheads!

Pinhead.

[warriorsparked]

// This is just my personal opinion, but innocence and Megatron don't often go together well for me. I mean this from an entirely pre-war perspective when I say innocent. I often see people portraying him as this sweet, kind, innocent person, and although we know a 4 million year war can totally change people (and Megatron dealt with a LOT), I still feel like those things stem from a deeper place of violence and trauma that he'd had to cope and deal with from the beginning of his life.

I've never seen Megatron as an innocent. Innocent in the sense that he was obviously not born/created as a killer. No one is (although there's that funny little nature vs nurture argument that we still haven't managed to put our finger on). At the end of the day, people are all shaped by what is around them and how they manage to cope with those things. Some people snap, some people don't. What makes those people snap, though? Well, we've not quite figured that out yet.

if you put two people in the same scenario, they could still turn out completely different--whether or not genetics makes a difference (as a twin, I find this stuff interesting as well, because despite that, twins can still grow up to be very different people). People perceive things differently and uniquely, and thus we all feel differently and cope differently.

Megatron grew up in one of the hardest environments on Cybertron, I just can't see him being sweet and innocent. There's always been a gruffness about him, a temper, and a broodiness.

I have big issues with how soft MTMTE made him, because it just doesn't feel entirely Megatron. And therefore, it doesn't feel genuine to me, but a way for them to just slap a "good guy" badge on him (let's be honest, it's not that black and white and it never should be). It feels like we're supposed to believe this lovely, sweet, innocent peace keeping poet just dropped everything he believed in one day to become a warlord that murdered and killed whenever he pleased, and it's just not believable to me.

Megatron Origins did a really good take on his earlier life. It showed the harsh conditions that Megatron lived under, it showed the pressure building, and it showed a reasonable young mech snapping beneath that pressure (which we also know people can do). But it being a one shot comic, it was enough to get that GLIMPSE and not have to expand too much on it, which MTMTE ended up doing as it was a much longer running comic series. It then felt... pressured? To me, I guess? That we must see this nice, peaceful mech who Megatron once was if we're to believe he's REALLY going to keep the peace post-war. Fools energon makes him weak (even if it's a placebo), because everyone is worried he doesn't snap, and I'm kind of... annoyed he doesn't? Because people CAN heal, yes, but not often without setbacks and taking one step backwards before taking another forward.

And I think that's my biggest gripe. Megatron never came from a happy place. That doesn't mean he can't be kind (people choose kindness over violence every day even though they've been brought up around it). Like I said, Megatron wasn't born a killer. But there's just something that never sits well with seeing him as some sweet, innocent mech who is cheery and kind.

I want to see that inner turmoil that was building up to the point of exhaustion. I want to see his frustration at the state of the world, and the PASSION behind the words that he wrote. I understand he was a "peace keeper" in MTMTE's flashbacks, but honestly, I wish he was the young, angry, passionate revolutionist that we missed out on seeing. Because that anger, that passion, that crazed and twisted world he ended up making came from those feelings. And I have a hard time with MTMTE's version of Megatron and seeing how he turned out to be the thing he hated most when there's no real UNF in that younger Megatron.

Another reason why my Megatron is just heavily HC based tho and I don't follow the MTMTE timeline.

Anyway, night time ramblings...

[bleachbleachbleach]

Hello, I've been hooked up with Bleach since 2008 but still there are things that don't sit well with me. I hope your thought would bring me into the light lol. Like.. Didn't Masaki stay in Soul Society? I mean, is Ichigo able to meet her somewhere in SS since he now could easily travel between two worlds. Same question with, can Orihime meet Sora? Chad meet Abuelo? Uryuu meet his mommy, etc etc. Do you thonk Gotei 13 have the updated data of each residence of Soul Society? When I think it over, I hope it's not that easy for them to meet their late relatives since it wouldn't be special to be seperated by death 😅 Waiting for your amazing explanation! Thanks

As far as how the nature of souls and memory and the slippage between worlds works, I feel like canonically, different characters have offered several different explanations, which is a multiplicity I appreciate. But as to why people aren't meeting up, we get one fairly straightforward explanation:

[Bleach 076]

(Lol that woman doing her hair while standing in line. An icon)

That is, why don't people meet up with their dead loved ones in Soul Society? Because it's statistically hideously unlikely and logistically a nightmare. People are punted off all over the place and there's some implication that memories fade over time, though at what rate and for what reason may not have rhyme nor reason.

But I think that explanation also invites two additional interesting questions:

If each soul is numbered, why can't these numbers be used to locate souls?

Why wouldn't you expect reunions in an afterlife?

Ways of Knowing

You'd think that naming and numbering districts and giving souls numbers would suggest that there's some kind of great ledger of souls that the Gotei keeps and they know where everyone is. We know that the Gotei has enough Rukongai census data to know when fucktons of souls suddenly go missing, after all. But we also know that they don't know what number goes to which soul and which souls are where; if they did Byakuya probably could've reunited his dying wife with her baby sister, even if it were still logistically a nightmare to do so. What are logistics in the face of limitless money?

And I mean, most people living in the United States have a social security number. But even though there's a billion more ways that number comes into play when you're trying to live in the US than your soul ticket number is likely to bear on your Rukongai life--taxes, mandatory K-12, digital footprints, bills, etc.--it's still hard to keep track of people. And I say this living in a very modern, surveillance-state era. At 331 million-ish, does the US have more or fewer people living in it than Rukongai, making it easier or more difficult to keep track of them all? Who knows.

To use an example that's dealing with a smaller number of people--and therefore, one might think, a more manageable dataset--during World War II, the US forcibly removed and incarcerated Japanese Americans at 10 incarceration camps and a number of DOJ prison camps. Every Japanese American family was given a number and sent off to X or Y camp. Despite the fact that this is recent history, was a literal federal operation, and concerned a population of 125,000 (much smaller than 331 million, and much smaller than the number of souls in Rukongai), and multiple call numbers for related documents housed at the National Archives, there is no complete, official record of who was incarcerated where, when, or for how long. Only this year is any of that narrative-through-information beginning to take shape, and notably not through the labor of the federal government.

So do I think Soul Society has complete, updated, or remotely useable records of all the souls in Rukongai? Hell no. No, I do not! Just thinking about how straightforward such a task seems on paper in our world and how utterly apart it is in practice, it doesn't surprise me at all that there aren't records for these things, nor assumptions that locating lost family members would be possible. And that's just the practical aspect of it.

Ways of Being

One thing that separates the historical example I used from whatever it is Soul Society is doing is, if a federal government is going to forcibly remove and incarcerate people, they better not lose (or never create) the damn receipts. To do otherwise is a failing atop a failing.

By contrast, at the thematic and/or spiritual level, I think it's understood--it is an existential belief--that Soul Society/Rukongai is not a place of reunion. It is a place of passage and of wandering, and to arrive in Soul Society is usually not helped along by shinigami. Konsou, the tickets, the numbered districts--those are all accoutrements that now exist, they are things that created Soul Society, but they are not this afterlife. This afterlife was not a place of reunion before it was any of those things, and is remains one even after their creation.

I think it's possible to trigger a kernel panic if your soul was briefly housed by a bird and some very-much-alive guy wandered into the afterlife through a secret trapdoor, and then you get to reunite. But I think it's not necessarily something you come into the situation seeking.

Souls get stuck in the Living World because they snare on this or that element of what was once their life, so I think it makes sense that in Soul Society, those same holds are not part of what it means to be or feel as a soul in Rukongai (particularly as memories fade, but not necessarily because memories fade).

And to return to the practical, I think the churn of souls is unpredictable enough to help the mindset that Rukongai is not a place of reunion. Your soul could be in Rukongai for three days before you die and return to new form in the Living World. You could be there for centuries. If you were to enter Soul Society with the expectation of finding one specific soul, you could spend a frenzied, obsessive lifetime searching for a soul that has already lived seven different cycles, back and forth between the realms, further and further away from you, without you.

And then who's the hungry ghost?

--

For further reading, @unohanadaydreams has some awesome recent posts on the Rukongai Ticket Fiasco here and here!

[ramsprompts]

𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑭𝑹𝑶𝑵𝑻 𝑩𝑶𝑻𝑻𝑶𝑴𝑺 . ᵛᵃʳᶤᵒᵘˢ ˡʸʳᶤᶜ ᵖʳᵒᵐᵖᵗˢˑ . PART 3.

"the only place i ever felt cool."

"i swam in the community pool."

"i try so hard to find the feeling i think i felt so long ago."

"basically, all i need is a clear path."

"in my mind, i try to save them."

"you are abandoning you."

"i am abandoning me."

"all we need is a clear path."

"always doing the same things."

"this is the life that almost killed me."

"this life ... it made me walk away."

"you know how life moves in circles."

"this is the character i play."

"some of your stuff's still there."

"he's only doing it for the room."

"i was born to entertain."

"don't laugh."

"it's not funny."

"don't joke, i'm not joking."

"just clap and keep smiling."

"those who are blessed shall not complain."

"you don't know me."

"i was never cool."

"i thought i told you."

"i'm not joking."

"the curtain is closing."

"a little more weed next time."

"jesus christ."

"i feel like i'm in paris."

"we all want something simple."

"happy and sad at the same time."

"broken, but still fixable."

"you helped me understand."

"you're talking with your hands."

"if we keep it simple then we'll get it right."

"a couple million bucks or so."

"you thought you could depend on me."

"i believe it was different for me."

"you gotta be careful."

"the tone felt too spot on."

"could've been bad."

"i left it alone."

"you're leaving me behind."

"silence is a bright light."

"everyday you've got to manage this impossible life."

"sometimes it's hard to find the problem."

"find a brick."

"write our names into the wet concrete."

"not everything's so obvious."

"one day you'll be proud of us."

"it's true."

"many people get addicted to the head rush."

"tale as old as time, really."

"just another way to disappear."

"he doesn't want anyone to know he was here."

"he doesnt want to put a curse on himself."

"you could get smart."

"go back to school, pass the bar."

"i couldn't get it to look this good with all the editing in the world."

"i know where everything is."

"the titles are out of place."

"feel safe and sound?"

"you don't have to try so hard to not see me around."

"so sensitive."

"i swear it's true."

"i miss all of your tattoos."

"you are who you hang out with."

"truth is, i've always been sort of an embarrassment."

"fake gold on your sensitive skin."

"the more you give, the worse it gets."

"you've just finally noticed it."

"no-one could see me."

"i need directions home."

"asking seems impossible, nearly."

"i wanna be good to the people that i love."

"i want them to think of me as someone that they can trust."

"i'll let you know."

"i want to settle down."

"i want you to settle down with me."

"crisis averted."