#love is not supposed to be experienced under a negative and pressuring light it's always meant to be natural | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

zorosleftshoe · 2 years

Text

Loveless - (c.b)

Pairing: Colby Brock x Fem!reader

Summary: Colby is always showing up a new girl on his arm. This time? It’s just too much.

Warnings: swearing, fluff, angst

“Some of us love others badly, love ourselves worse. Some of us love horrid, love beastly, love sick, love anti light. Sometimes the love can’t go home at night, can’t sleep with itself, cannot contain itself, catches fire, destroys the belly, strips buildings, goes missing. Punches. Smashes heirlooms. Tells lies. The best lies.”

It was never supposed to be anything more than a silly crush. You know, that feeling you get when he looks at you and your cheeks flush that bright cherry red that your cousin used to make fun of you for. Or when his hand bumps yours and those damn butterflies start erupting in your stomach? I never meant for it to become this.

I’m sure if anyone looked at me and saw the way my eyes glistened at Colby as his head was thrown back and a deep laugh rumbled through his stomach they would say I was infatuated. Unfortunately for myself, they would be right. I was fucked. It wasn’t a secret that Colby didn’t date. After Shea he built brick walls around his heart that even the most experienced thief couldn’t break in. I spent months chiseling away at brick after brick, begging him to let me have a peek inside, but the walls were sealed and cement was poured.

Days felt like years when I was near him. As if I was constantly being pulled towards him as if we were magnets that were always meant to collide. It was exhausting. Harboring a secret that I knew would destroy our friendship was slowly creeping under my skin and I knew it would only be so long before I caved under the pressure. I feared losing the only stability I had ever known.

So I kept quiet and smiled wide even when he would show up to group hangouts with his arm slung around another girl who was pressed up firmly against his side. Even now, as my mouth was pressed into a tight lipped smile, I could feel my heart breaking as I watched Colby laugh with Amber. Everyone knew they were friends. Much like him and I were. The only difference? I noticed how every so often her hand would glide down his arm and rest atop his for a few moments before gliding back up to his shoulder. I let out a heavy exhale and slumped further into my seat.

“Are you in?” Kat’s voice pulled me out of my negative thoughts and I hummed in response. “We were talking about going to get some burgers later. Were you too busy staring to notice?” Her question fell so effortlessly from her lips that the daggers I shot with my eyes could have pierced her. The corners of her mouth twitched upwards in a devilish smirk at my reaction. “Burgers? Yes? No?”

“If I say yes, will you let me wallow in self-pity for just a bit longer?” At my words, I couldn’t help but notice how Colby glanced towards me. His eyes finally leaving Amber and remembering my existence. He completely detached himself from her grasp and leaned forward to rest his elbows against the table.

“Self-pity? Why?” I shrugged at his response before pulling my sleeves over my knuckles and taking sanctuary in the oversized sweater. His eyebrows furrowed at my silence but he decided it was best to not poke the bear and leaned back to engage with Amber once more.

As the evening progressed the bubbling feeling in my stomach became harder to ignore and the little green monster on my shoulder more and more evident. Every giggle that fell from her rosey red lips. Every graze of the hand. Every stare that lasted a second too long. No matter what it was, my patience was thinning, and fast. The last blow was when Amber leaned in close to his ear and whispered her sweet little nothings. His hand creeped up her thigh and I couldn’t bare to watch any longer.

“Excuse me.” I pushed myself from my spot on the couch where I sat next to Kat who was nuzzled up against Sam while we all watched a few episodes of Stranger Things.

“Everything okay?” Sam asked. Concern lacing his voice. I nodded before glancing quickly over Colby who was now focused on my exit. “You sure?”

“Yeah. Just gotta go to the bathroom.” Sam hummed in response before turning back to the TV. I could hear the soft chatter from the living room with every step I took further and further away. Just as I was about to round the corner into the bathroom I felt a soft tug on my wrist. Before I could protest I was pushed into a dark room. “What the hell?” The light flickered on and I shielded my eyes before looking up to see Colby staring back at me. “Wha-“

“What’s going on? And please don’t lie to me. I’m your best friend. I know when something is up and something is up. Don’t push me away, okay?” He took a few short steps towards me but I took two steps back. “Oky, what’s your deal?” His words began to spark an anger in me. A rage that burned deep below the surface like a volcano waiting to erupt.

“My deal? What ever do you mean?” He moved passed me to sit on the bed but I didn’t dare turn around to look at him. This time I was holding my ground and pushing my feelings to the side. He scoffed at my response.

“You’re being distant. Almost hostile towards me.” At his words I spun on my heels to lock eyes with him.

“I’ll be damned if you pin this on me, Colby.” His demeanor changed at the mention of his full name. From the start of our friendship it was odd for either of us to call the other out of name. Strictly sticking to nicknames or pet names. This coldness I had towards him now was new to him. “I have not been distant. I have been supportive. I have sat on the sidelines and let you have your space while you went on how many dates now?” He cocked his head at me almost stunned by the question.

“Wha?” He paused looking at me with widened eyes. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“How many in the last week?” He thought for a moment before exhaling heavily.

“Four.” He looked up at me with heavy eyelids. “Why does it matter?”

“Because it just does, Colby.” He rose to his feet at the mention of his name and pointed a finger at me.

“Stop with the names. We don’t do that. You know we don’t do that.” I scoffed. “Tell me what the issue really is.” It’s like playing poker. You have the worst hand and you know it’s time to fold. I took two large steps up to him till we were toe to toe.

“You really wanna know?” I watched as he visibly gulped but nodded in response. “I can’t play this game with you anymore.” His face washes over in a sheet of confusion. He truly has no idea what I mean.

“I’m confused now. What game?” He moves his hand to brush a couple strands of hair out of my face and I move away from his touch. “Are you seriously okay, sweetheart?” Before I can stop it a bitter laugh escapes my lips in the form of an exhale.

“This,” I pause motioning between us with a single finger. “I’m not a naive person, Colby. I know your track record when it comes to past girlfriends. I know that if anything I would only ever be another notch in your belt, yet, as foolish as it was, I fell in love with you.” He went to speak but I shook my head. “And I’ve carried this secret with me for months because I know that nothing will ever happen between us. I know that you don’t feel as I do. Because the way I feel about you makes me physically ill. It keeps me up at night. The way I love you is like a poison in my blood slowly killing me but I allow it because if it’s the only way I get to have you, then so be it.” By now the tears were flowing and Colby stood motionless.

“I don’t know what to say.” My eyes closed and I chuckled sadly.

“Honestly, Colby? I didn’t even expect you to.” Without another word I turned on my heels and retreated from the room. I didn’t dare look back in fear if I did I would see Colby standing with my bleeding heart at his feet.

In the weeks that followed I had been radio silent. Kat and Sam had gone out of their way to reach out to me. Even swinging by my apartment to drop off necessities they knew I would need. According to a long and thought out text from Kat, my mother became worried and had reached out to her. If anyone could get me to talk, it would be Kat.

But three weeks and two days wasn’t enough to drown the pain of losing Colby. Not even enough to dull it, make it bearable. Just as I thought I would break the surface and take that breath I so desperately needed, another wave came crashing into me, dragging me further into the abyss.

Most days I wanted to blame him. Blame him for not returning the feelings that had crept up on me but I knew it wasn’t his fault. He swore off love and it didn’t matter who tried to rescue him from the tower and slay the dragon. He was content.

A knock on my door pulled my attention away from the movie playing on the TV. I sighed heavily. The walk to the door felt as if it were miles but as the door opened my heart dropped into my stomach.

“Hey, can we talk?” Colby looked down at his shoes and used the tip of his boot to scuff the floor. “I feel like we’ve had enough time apart to figure shit out.” He motioned passed me as if asking if he could come into my apartment. Hesitantly I opened the door wider and stepped to the side allowing him to move beside me. I followed close behind Colby into the living room and watched as he sat on the couch. For a moment he dropped his head into his hands before rubbing his face and looking up at me. “Will you sit please?”

“What do you want to talk about?” I knew. The hollowness in my chest where my heart had previously been was a clear indicator but I needed to hear him say it.

“Can we please not do this today?” He questioned sadly. “I’ve spent the last three weeks trying to decide time and time again what I wanted to say to you. I still don’t know if I’ve got it right, but I want to give it a shot.” I nodded for him to continue. “For starters, I’m sorry that I didn’t come after you that night. That was my first mistake. Then I started thinking about what you said.” He paused looking down at his hands and fiddling with his fingers.

“We can just forget that it happened.” I wagered. That’s what was best. It’s what we were good at.

“I don’t,” he paused again. “I don’t want to forget it. But, you have to know that I would never love you the way you deserve. I would love you badly. Wrongly.” My chest felt heavy at his words. “That’s not me saying I don’t return your feelings either. I do love you. I just,” he paused shaking his head and looking around the room. “I would mess this up. I can never be the person you’re looking for.” His words angered me.

“Who are you to decide that for me?” He went to speak but I raised my hand. “You make it sound like you don’t want to give me a chance because you’re afraid you’ll hurt me? Well, guess what, Colby? You already did that. Because of you I spent the last three years in fucking armor making sure no one gets close enough to fucking hurt me. Waiting on you! Loving you! You do not get to make the hard decisions for me.” Colby sighed heavily.

“What do you want me to do? You said it yourself. I don’t date. I love you but I don’t make exceptions.” I scoffed angrily.

“Because of Shea?” His shoulders dropped at my words. “Yeah. It always comes back to her doesn’t it?” Colby went to reach for my hand but I rose to my feet. “You should go.”

“Sweetheart-“

“Don’t. Just get out.” Colby groaned before standing up and spinning around to look out the window. “I’m serious, Colby. Get out, now-“

“Would you listen to me?” His voice was rising in volume and the tension in the room could be cut with a knife. Our expressions mirrored each other, ones of sadness and longing. The tears now rolling freely down both of our faces. “You were there. You saw what loving her did to me. It fucking broke me. When she left I was a shell of the man I once was. It took months, hell, years for me to come back to everyone.”

“Then why are we fighting over this? Why are we wasting each others time?” I could see the frustration in his eyes as he watched me intently. Neither of us moved.

“Because I’m afraid if I walk out that door, this is the last memory I’ll ever have of you.” His words were nothing but a whisper as his eyes pleaded with me. “I’ve lost so many people. I don’t know how to survive losing you.”

“I don’t know how to get passed this.” All of the anger in the room had vanished. It was replaced with an emptiness. A darkness that was slowly enveloping Colby and I. “I’m sorry.” His body began to tremble at my apology and a few seconds later sobs wracked his body. “I’m just sorry.”

“What if we try?” I let out a breathy chuckle and took a seat on the couch.

“Try what?”

“Dating. If it means that you’ll stay, I’ll do it.” I shook my head at his offer.

“Absolutely not, Colby. I’m not forcing you into a relationship you don’t want.” He sat down next to me and took my hands. By now his eyes were red rimmed and bloodshot by the tears that rolled down his cheeks.

“No one forces me to do anything.” He used his hands to cup my cheeks and lock eyes with him. “If you want this, I will do it. Because you’re allowed to be happy. And I want you to be happy. More than anything. So please, sweetheart, just give me the word, and I’ll be yours.”

“Colby-“

“I mean it. Please.” I nodded and he let out a sigh of relief before resting his forehead against mine. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I really do love you. I have for awhile. I just never thought I could be the man you need. I’m still not sure-“ his words were silenced by my lips against his. He moved one hand to my neck as the other held tighter my jaw holding me in place.

“I love you, Colbs.” I said once we pulled away, desperate for air. He smiled before resting his head against my shoulder.

“I love you, sweetheart. I promise I’ll never let you go.” I sighed happily at his words before looking down at our intwined fingers.

“Think you could hold off on that promise for an hour? I have to make dinner.” Colby chuckled before collapsing onto the couch and turning the TV on.

“Sure. Just know we’ve got three weeks to make up for when you’re done.” If there were one word to describe what I felt looking at him as the TV light illuminated his face it would be magic. Absolute magic.

#colby brock #colby brock x reader #colby brock angst #colby brock imagine #colby brock x y/n #colby brock x you #sam and colby

400 notes · View notes

dothwrites · 4 years

Text

spn15 spec, destiel, post 15.18, mcd?? sort of???

---

And when your sorrow is comforted (time soothes all sorrows) you will be content that you have known me. You will always be my friend.--Antoine de-Saint Exupery, The Little Prince

---

Castiel opens his eyes in nothingness.

It’s not dark, though the air which presses around him is thick onyx. There is neither gravity nor weightlessness here. Castiel exists but he does so in a void so barren that he doubts his own mind. He opens his mouth to call out, but no sound escapes.

Castiel exists in ignorance for one, glorious moment. Then the weight of memory crushes into him. His chest buckles underneath the pressure. He tries to scream, but the vast emptiness swallows the sound.

---

“Cas, we can fight this!”

Dean, his Righteous Man, Dean, the shining beacon, his friend...The first real friend he’d ever made. Dean is ready to fight. Dean would fight God, has indeed fought God. But he can’t fight this.

The door shudders in its frame. Blow after blow rains down on the weakening wood. Already, the wood is splintering under the assault. The thin strip of light at the bottom of the door disappears underneath a sea of writhing black. The Empty is here. It wants what it was promised.

“Dean,” he says. He intends to say much more--It’s too late, let me go, thank you--but his voice cracks on the single syllable of Dean’s name.

He wants to stay. God help him, but he wants to stay.

“No, dammit Cas! You don’t get to give up! We can fight this thing, we can keep running, we can...” Dean’s voice trails off into nothing as he looks wildly around the small room.

Though he might protest, Castiel knows that Dean is a man bailing out a sinking ship. In his heart, Dean knows the battle is already lost. But he’s still defiant, still clinging to the faintest shred of hope.

Castiel loves him for that.

“You fought for the whole world.” Castiel’s voice is weak and pale against the ear-shattering thunder of the Empty’s attempts to break into the room.

“Cas, no--”

“But you can’t fight for me.”

The words shatter something vital in him. Castiel gasps as the agony shreds through him. He thought there would be more time. He thought that happiness was an ideal that no one could ever reach. He thought there would be time, he doesn’t want to go, he wants to stay--

“Cas, I can’t...Not again, I can’t lose you again, please don’t go--”

Black seeps into the room, slender tendrils snaking across the room towards where they stand. Castiel feels every second ticking away. He’s lived for millennia, seen worlds and empires rise and fall, felt the passing of centuries like nothing more than a passing breeze. Millions of years, and now, when it means everything, he has no time.

Castiel cups Dean’s cheek with one shaking hand. If this is it, then he doesn’t want to leave with any regrets. “Dean,” he croaks. That word has become his compass, his prayer, the star to which he hitched his wagon.

“I’m so sorry. I don’t want to leave you. If I had a choice, i would stay. I would stay with you through every sunrise and sunset, through every moment, the mundane and extraordinary alike.” Castiel’s voice catches in his throat as the door finally shatters and darkness pours into the room.

“You’ve taught me everything, Dean, and I...I’m so grateful that I got to know you. Without you...”

Castiel can’t continue. He’s immeasurably grateful for all he’s experienced with Dean, but he’s always been greedy. He wants more. He wants to see Dean’s hair continue to silver until it’s soft and grey. He wants to go fishing with Dean and discover the peace inherent in the activity. He wants to watch Jack grow into his own and Sam start a family. He wants, with a fierceness that takes his breath away.

Darkness curls around his ankle and winds its way up his calf.

Dean shakes his head. Tears well in his eyes but refuse to spill over, though his lower lip shakes. “Please,” he asks, tilting his head into Castiel’s palm. “I can’t...how am I supposed to do this without you?”

Castiel starts to respond, but his voice is cut off by the swift, hard press of Dean’s lips into his. His heart jolts and gutters in his chest before it picks up again, beating so hard he thinks it might escape through the confines of his ribs.

“I love you.”

The words tumble out of Castiel’s mouth, the same as they did years ago when he was rotting from in the inside out. The same frantic need consumes him now as it did then, when every beat of his heart dragged him closer to the edge of oblivion, when seconds were more precious than gold, when he was so close to losing everything--

Dean sobs. He clutches the lapels of Castiel’s coat and kisses him, teeth bruising behind his lips.

Castiel’s whole lower body is engulfed in darkness so complete that it feels as though it’s ceased to exist. His whimper is lost in Dean’s mouth.

“No,” Dean gasps, pulling away. Castiel already knows the cause of Dean’s denial. He can feel it, creeping up his chest and shoulders, slithering down to his arms. He remembers how it was to be devoured, remembers the noxious black ooze of the Leviathan crawling through him, but this is worse, is so much worse, because now he knows what Dean’s lips taste like, now he knows everything he has to lose--

“Cas, I love you,” Dean tells him, though his words echo strangely. The Empty crawls up his throat. Castiel chokes on it, but he doesn’t dare to blink. He can’t lose a second of this, of Dean’s face, horrified and tear-stricken though it is.

Seconds tick away like centuries, Dean’s face in front of him. Castiel can’t hear what he’s saying, but he can see the words shaped on his lips.

I’ll find you, I promise, I’m coming for you, Cas, Cas, I love--

And then.

Empty.

---

With the image of Dean’s face in his mind, Castiel screams.

There is no sound in the Empty, but he screams anyway. His agony and loss pour out of him, his grief and fear. Everything that he’s lost, Dean--

Castiel screams until his voice cracks and breaks, until his throat is shredded and raw, until he tastes blood in the back of his throat.

Hollow, he slumps to the side, curling into himself. His one consolation was that he would at least be asleep for the rest of eternity. He wouldn’t have to live with the weight of everything he’d lost. Now, even that slender comfort has been ripped from him. For the rest of time, he’ll have to exist with the memory of Dean’s glassy eyes, with the sound of Dean’s choked voice echoing through his skull, with the phantom ache of Dean’s lips against his. Castiel shudders, sobs ripping out of his throat.

“Jesus. So much for helping.”

Castiel blinks. The sound of another voice is foreign in this void where nothing should exist. He rolls over, looking up at the sardonic face staring down at him.

“Ruby,” he rasps, then remembers himself.

That’s not Ruby.

“Go away,” he mutters. He wraps his arms around his legs, pressing his forehead to his knees. There’s no point in having pride here, not when time is meaningless and every second is a torture. The Empty already knows his secrets, though why it chose Ruby’s form to torment him is a mystery.

“Look feathers, you were the one who screwed the pooch on this whole ‘fixing eternity’ thing. So I think I’m going to stick around for a bit.”

“There’s no point,” Castiel says miserably. “You got what you wanted. I’m here. I’m suffering. What more could you possibly want from me?”

“Were you dropped on your halo? I told you what I wanted the last time you were here. I want out, you moron. I told you to find a way out, and you wound up here, which is kind of the opposite of what I asked.”

Castiel blinks slowly, lifting his forehead from his knees. “Ruby?” he asks.

Ruby rolls her eyes and sighs for dramatic effect. “Yeah, dumbo. You know, I’ve only been trying to tell you that since the beginning.”

“I can’t trust that.” Castiel remembers all too well the last time he was here, the jolt of pleasure at seeing Meg once more only to realize that the Empty was aping her appearance to hurt him. “The Empty, it takes on your visage, your memories--”

“Yeah, you’re just going to have to trust me on this.” Ruby’s eyes flash black. “You know, as much as you can.”

“I’d pay attention to her, Clarence. If you don’t, then she’ll probably kick your ass.”

Castiel knows that voice. He whirls around. Meg’s face greets him, a tiny smirk twisting her lips upward. “Meg,” he whispers, an odd combination of grief and happiness twisting in his chest.

“The one and only,” she assures him.

A small shred of doubt clings at the back of Castiel’s mind, but he has to trust in something right now. Even if it’s two dead demons.

“Castiel. So lovely to see you again. Though I can’t say that I agree with the company you’re keeping these days.”

Make that three dead demons.

“Crowley,” Castiel breathes.

The demon looks exactly the same as he did the day he died. His suit is pristine, down to the pocket square. He looks at Meg and Ruby with disdain before he turns that expression on Castiel. “I suppose you’re doing your biannual visit to this dump? Feel like taking any passengers out with you when you make your escape this time?”

“I’m not...I made a deal,” Castiel whispers. He made a deal to save his son and he’ll never regret that, not for a second, but then he thinks of Dean’s face. “I’m not leaving.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t be so negative, Cassie. You do have a way of wriggling out of the tightest of places.”

Mingled guilt and joy sear through Castiel as he turns around. Balthazar’s familiar face looks at him. Balthazar raises an eyebrow. “No hug?” he asks.

“I don’t understand,” Castiel breathes. Surrounded by ghosts from his past, he feels weak. “None of you should be awake. That’s the whole point of this place. All of us, asleep, forever.”

“That’s the way it should be, but you have a habit of wrecking the natural order.” Castiel winces at Anna’s cool voice. Though there’s no real judgement in her voice, there’s also no real warmth. “It’s been changing here, ever since your last visit.”

“I woke it up.”

“And because you woke it up, we all started to awake as well.” Hannah’s calm voice joins their small group, though it’s growing steadily larger. “All of us, demons and angels, started awaking. At first, it was just for moments, but lately, it’s been distracted. More of us have been able to stay awake for longer. Eventually we started finding each other.”

“That’s my boy,” Meg says, unmistakable fondness in her voice. “Shaking up the natural order, wrecking the whole of the afterlife.”

Castiel’s eyes dart between all of them, former enemies, allies, and friends. “Is this all of you?”

“Were you not listening? Did they not just tell you that we’ve all been waking up, at least a little bit?”

Gabriel pops into existence next to Castiel. Despite himself, Castiel jerks back in surprise.

“So, what’s it going to be, Cas? Are you going to just pop out of here like always?” Crowley brings Castiel’s brain back to the present.

When he made his deal, he made it with full awareness that there was no coming back. He accepted that burden because he knew it was the only way he could save Jack.

But that was before he felt Dean’s lips against his, before he heard the words fall from Dean’s mouth. I love you.

When he made the deal, he had never heard those words directed at him. When he made the deal, he had nothing to fight for.

Now he does.

He made a choice long ago. You don’t have to be ruled by Fate. You can choose freedom.

Castiel looks at all of them, demons and angels alike, and makes a choice.

“We’ve got work to do.”

311 notes · View notes

deancodedcastielenby · 3 years

Text

It started out with a XX

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

I am putting Tags first so I don’t forget like the horrible trash panda I am: @casmick-consequences , @proudcasgirl , & @paintdriesfaster You have asked to be tagged, or for Casmick you are the reason this is here. The Date Continues This is 100% unbeta’d and I am litterally on my work computer writing in between phone calls so. I apologize for any spelling errors or punctuation since I am a trash panda. XX love you all, enjoy

Castiel is under the impression that Mick Davies is an interesting human. The man seems charmed by many of the words that Castiel uses, and has no problems showing his obvious interest. There have been other humans in his time in this vessel that have shown a reaction to his person, and now that this body is his and no longer Jimmy’s it is an interesting notion that he would be coveted carnally from anyone. Still, Mick is interesting and the conversation that he engages in with Castiel over a shared dinner have kept Castiel enthralled at least. The dinner was odd, it still tasted like molecules, but Mick made a point to have him try a bite or two of everything and explain how he found the flavors.

The white sauce on the noodles, for example, Castiel knew was called Alfredo sauce, but Mick described it much better before he had Castiel try a bite off his fork. There was flavor that he hadn’t expected, on top of the molecules, but perhaps being described before eating was the difference. No one had ever thought to try that before. The breaded mushrooms were an odd texture that Castiel was not sure that he liked, but Mick did say that sometimes the dipping sauces made them better, and the sweet dessert was delicious, and tasted faintly of coffee. That was a beverage he missed from being human.

As far as humans go, Mick was charming and rather handsome, though at this point Castiel realized he had a type. Claire had pointed it out when he described Mick to her before the date. His eyes may not be the right shade of green that he prefers, but they are quite beautiful none the less. In fairness Mick had also dressed up for the occasion and was wearing an outfit similar to his own, though he was wearing brown. That was a brown slacks and waistcoat over a light blue shirt and a matching brown blazer. The overall effect was very charming, and very appealing. Castiel had on occasion browsed through different magazines and had seen similar outfits on different models, so he assumed it was a fashion thing, but Mick was able to pull it off nicely. Of course there was a few glasses of wine with dinner, and Castiel was able to sip them carefully during conversation. It was true he had a rather high tolerance for alcohol, so it wasn’t that he needed to, but he had tried to keep pace with Mick to make sure that he blended in. Over all Castiel would say that the date was a success. Many times throughout the conversation he was able to pick up on the different flirtations that Mick was sending his way, and apparently he was sending back. Once or twice he was able to say something that made Mick laugh loudly and give him a wide smile that made his face mirror one in return. To say that dinner was pleasant would be an understatement. After dinner Mick asked if he would like to take a walk and continue their conversation. It was getting darker outside, but still there was plenty of light with the street lamps and there was such a quaint little park they could walk around. It was simple to agree, and so they left hand in hand after Mick paid for their meal. “I insist Castiel, honestly it was mostly my meal anyway.” That was another strange feeling, being hand in hand with Mick. There was a brief moment where he remembered Daphne, she would hold his hand sometimes when they were out and about, but he never had this strange intimacy with another person after his memories came back. The hand in his own was not a dainty one, it was on the larger side with blunt fingers and the cool metal of a ring on his pinky finger. Over all he experience was new. At one point Mick had released his hand, and of course Castiel frowned when he missed it immediately, only to have him slip Castiel’s hand in the crook of his elbow and seemingly step closer. “I am honestly surprised that you came out with me this evening.” They were on their second loop of the small park, their gait was slow and measured to eat up more time. Almost as if neither one was quite ready for the evening to end. “It seemed as though you were very much in the Winchester’s pockets and that they did not like me very much.” “They do have a negative disposition to the British Men of Letters, Arthur Ketch left a rather bad taste in their mouths and I do not blame them for that, however they are not my keepers and I am free to make opinions on other humans.” Ever the peace keeper, or so it seemed, Castiel tried for a neutral ground. That was until Mick barked out a bit of a laugh.

“I would suppose so, though not all of us Brits are quite like Ketch. I am hoping you would have a better opinion of me after our date. Perhaps I should inquire as to another?” It seemed the man was looking at Castiel out of the corner of his eye, which was odd, but it only took a moment to realize that he was asking Castiel out on another outing. This was courting wasn’t it? The odd human custom?

“I would not be against another outing, though I had thought you were to return to England soon.” The words were out before Castiel could reel them back, but they were true none the less. Mick did not know that Castiel could travel to England with just a thought, so it wasn’t that the distance was a problem. Castiel would just like to know where he stood, it was so hard to gage with Dean where exactly things lay between them when Dean was in denial and never spoke. Perhaps this was Castiel’s way of making sure that whatever this was with Mick, it was different. “I will have to return home eventually of course, but I would very much enjoy spending time with you whilst I can. Your conversation skills are spectacular, it is rather hard to have meaningful conversations about things anymore, and you are quite a sight to look at as well so that is a bonus for me.” These words were said with a smile and a pat to Castiel’s shoulder, “I am aware that our engagement here is limited, not just by time. I have eyes, I know I am not your first choice and that is fine with me, honestly. I just think that while I am here, I can show you what a relationship should be like, so that you know.” Stopping their circle of the park, they were in a bit of shadow of a corpse of trees but they could still see the stars if they were to look up. They didn’t. “I will not take advantage of you, or your kindness. I want us to be open and honest with each other, so that when I do have to return to England, we could still walk away as friends and you can come to me with anything. Though right now, I would very much like to kiss you if you would be amenable?” The words were honest and open, much like the expression that Mick was wearing. Mick wanted a relationship, in what ever capacity that he could while he was here that could translate to a great friendship when he left, and honestly what did Castiel have to loose? The want to experience something good and meaningful after watching the one he wanted jump into bed with countless others.... “I am amenable.” The response was gruff and quiet, almost an afterthought, though Mick had heard it if the wide smile on his face was anything to go by. Oh so gently one of Mick’s hands cupped the side of Castiel’s head and guided their lips together in a sweet and soft touch. The kiss itself was chaste, but it seemed to cause an ache somewhere in the pit of Castiel’s stomach. It was genuine intimacy and affection, something he never knew he honestly needed, but with the gentle press of lips it was something that he was honestly going to crave. After a moment or two of soft pressure Mick pulled back to gage the reaction on the angel’s face. “Well, no fireworks which is a shame, but I can live with that.” A slightly cocky smile lit the side of his mouth, “Unless you’d like another?” “I always expected that kisses would be... more than just a press of lips.” It wasn’t that Castiel hadn’t experienced kisses, because he had on a few occasions, namely with women. Though the thought made him tilt his head slightly and squint in confusion.

“Ah, you were expecting more passion and enthusiasm perhaps? What kind of Brit do you take me for, a savage? This is a first date after all, need to keep you on your toes and coming back for a second one.” There was something akin to mischief in Mick’s eyes before he laughed, “well I suppose one more couldn’t hurt.” With that he did pull Castiel’s head down once again to meet his lips, this time with a bit more of a firmer touch. The scrape of stubble against his skin was a bit firmer now, and he could actually feel it. After some maneuvering to fit their lips just so, a hint of a tongue pressed against the seam of the angel’s lips and he opened to the onslaught of Mick’s rather talented tongue.

Unsure of exactly how long they stood there, in the slight shadow of the trees kissing quite like teenagers, they broke apart. A soft flush to Mick’s features made him more endearing in a way as he seemed to shiver and attempt to take a step back. It was a strange sensation feeling Mick release him, as it seemed that the hand that was not tangled into his hair had found his hip, not that he had noticed at the time. “Well now, that was... something else. Shall I return you home then Cinderella? Or is there a night in shining muscle around here somewhere waiting to whisk you away?” “I do know how to drive.” Something about the way that Mick said the words was unsettling, though Dean did tell him to call when he was ready to be picked up. Castiel was an angel of the lord and he could take care of himself.

“Of course you do, I never said you couldn’t. Perhaps you could walk me to my car then?” Mick gave a soft chuff and a slight bow of an apology holding out his elbow again. Castiel missed that strange closeness so he nodded and tucked his hand into the crook and walked Mick back to the restaurant and to his car. Luckily he did not see the Impala anywhere on their walk, and Castiel indulged Mick with another kiss at the car before watching him climb inside. “Do let me know when you are free for another Date.” Mick said after yet another soft press of lips before driving off and down the street. It was a few moments before Castiel moved and headed back to the park, keeping himself invisible from any kind of eyes until he was standing where he and Mick had been only a little while before. Pulling out his phone he sent off a text to Dean, letting him know that he was not going to need a ride home, nor would he be back that evening. There was far too much for the angel to think about at that moment, and far to much for him to replay to even attempt to be near Dean right now. Instead he found himself sitting on a bench in that park, staring at the emptiness of the night, not getting a reply from Dean at all, but that was fine. The hunter had probably fallen asleep anyway, it was better for him to get the rest than worry about Castiel.

#okay so it was shorter than I wanted it but full of fun #Casmick #cas x mick #long con still? who knows #date night #supernatural #Castiel #Mick Davies #just for fun #it started out with a XX

34 notes · View notes

the-ghost-king · 4 years

Note

time for me to share a good™️ headcanon: will and nico love to steal each other’s clothes but their massive size difference makes it so obvious that they’re doing it. nico’s shirts are almost croptops on will and will’s sweaters are practically a dress on nico bc will is like 6’2 and nico’s like 5’5

Anon! Anon! Yes, you. You get it.

I don’t really know what you wanted as a response to this but I felt inspired for the first time in some 10 months so I gifted you a one shot below the “read more”. I’ll also upload it to Ao3 with a link in the notes...

Anyhow Anon, I hope you enjoy it! I got a little off topic but reflective fluff is always good!

If you would have asked Will what he wanted out of life as a kid you probably would have gotten an answer that was something like “a chance to actually go and live life as it was meant to be” or maybe “to be happy, pretty, and stupid”.

He didn’t dare to hope for more, demigods didn’t live long lives, and being involved in a major battle at thirteen didn’t do wonders in regards to establishing confidence in your survival. As for the “pretty and stupid” part of his answer, it wasn’t that Will had ever hated being smart, he just hated the disconnect different intelligence levels caused in peer groups and society; being smart was hard, sure for school purposes it was nice, but that intelligence means you’re constantly thinking and so often so much of the world seems so dull and petty. Will had been lucky enough to be blessed with decent looks, moving through the world was made easy in at least that regard, but he wished he could live without thinking so much because so often he could only see so much awful in the world.

Thirteen year old Will wouldn’t have dared hope for anything more, he wouldn’t have dared hope for anything else more than a decade or so of normal life beyond camp and a chance at an easy life for those few years. When fourteen year old Will got a depression diagnosis he wouldn’t say he was surprised, he would have been annoyed but he hadn’t really felt much of anything in years. (”Atypical depression” The doctor had said, “likely clinical”) A few different types of anti-depressants and a few months of therapy things started feeling okay, better at least. Fifteen came and went, he tried to go off the pills and didn’t quite get there, but his dose got lowered which Will supposed was nice.

In the months of early 16, Nico di Angelo stumbles into his life; exhausted and melting under the pressure of the universe, he makes friends with death. It isn’t much, but Will remembers him from when they were kids back before any major fights. He remembers hearing about Nico running off and he felt bad for not having made a continued effort to get to know him. He felt bad when he left after the Battle of Manhattan too, they’d prepped bodies for their departure together and Will had gotten hung up in the infirmary (he had been one of the last Apollo campers and he was the only one with medical training). In some ways, Will supposed he was making up for those lost years when he didn’t have time to befriend Nico as he would have liked, it made him feel like he was at least trying.

In the beginning things were undeniably rocky, Nico was constantly hooked to machines just so Will could guarantee he wouldn’t die overnight. Even on Nico’s first night in the infirmary he had struggles with sleep, the bed wasn’t comfortable enough and after trying a large variety of options Will had hauled Nico and all of his equipment out to the porch on the back of the infirmary and they slept there for those three days (which turned into two weeks), wrapped up in jackets and in a pile of blankets beneath camp’s fall skies.

Within a few months, they fell in love.

Okay listen, people can call Will ridiculous all they want- but love at first sight is real and he experienced it. He didn’t know it but the day he met Nico and looked into the dark browns of his eyes, he thought something about how his eyes looked like ash from the fireplace at Mama’s house, or how they looked like the soil that his windowsill plants grew from. If you would have asked Will what he thought of Nico the very first time they’d met, he would have told you something about how his eyes were “big, dark, and round like a baby cow”. What Will really meant is that Nico reminded him of the family ranch house he grew up in, he meant he looked like home.

At the time Will just hadn’t known that was what love felt like, but when he figured it out one day teaching Nico how to play Hold ‘em on the back porch of the infirmary with a light breeze and setting sun as they settles down for bed; he knew one thing, he didn’t want anything more than to make Nico happy and he hoped that he could be a part of that more than anything.

It took a little longer for Nico to come around, he had his own demons to battle. Internalized homophobia, even in small doses, is a real downer to say the least, let alone when you’re fighting demons you’ve manifested for some 15 years. The biggest struggle however, was probably in all honesty the fact that Nico was so goddamned oblivious. After spending years alone with limited human contact at best, and having spent so many years desperately wanting Percy to notice him, and being met with negative reactions, Nico didn’t know what love looked like anymore. How had he been supposed to know he was in love with Will?

There was a lot of subtle back and forth, would the other even be interested in a guy? It ended one day with an unplanned kiss followed by a declaration. Will called it the best mistake he ever made, neither of them really thought it was a mistake.

It was days like today that only proved that.

Will had woken up to Nico’s face on a pillow next to him. He’d fallen asleep with his hair pulled back in a ponytail, and some of his smaller hairs had fallen loose in the night and now framed his peaceful face. The first rays of golden sunlight fell through accidentally left open curtains, and Will reached out to brush a stray piece of dark hair and place it behind Nico’s ear.

He woke up to a morning more beautiful than he would have ever hoped for at 13, and he would always be glad for that. He would always be grateful for how far he had come in not quite a decade. At just twenty-two he was 4 years into medical school, and three years married to Nico and he truly believed he was one of the happiest men in the world simply because he made Nico happy.

In time, Nico too would wake up.

First with a huff, and then a grumbling noise of annoyance as he rubbed his face with his arm as though trying to block out light before half-asleep Nico seemed to accept his fate and wake up fully.

“Good morning”

“How long have you been up?”

“Awhile”

Nico made a knowledgeable humming sound, perhaps he was just acknowledging Will’s response or perhaps he was saying ‘of course’.

A few kisses, a short conversation, and a couple of “I love you”’s later, they got out of bed.

Nico's was wearing Will's high school hoodie that was a bit too short on Will anymore like it was a dress on him. The hoodie went down to Nico’s knees, he's got his own black shorts on because Will's just fall off unless he ties them really really tight. He's got black socks pulled up almost to his knees, there’s a little gap between the end of Nico’s shorts and the start of his socks. The hoodie goes down an inch or two past his short pockets, and he goes outside to grab the mail with a pair of unlaced combat boots on his feet. He's got his skull ring on his middle finger of his right hand, and his left hand holds a simple wedding band which glint in the light as he opens the front door. His hair is pulled up into a messy ponytail, some of it is up some of it is down, there's tons of flyaway hairs which frame his face since he hasn’t fixed it sense getting out of bed.

Call it a cliché, but Nico looks like Heaven personified without even trying.

Sure, everyone looks nice in a suit or a dress, but how many people can roll out of bed without doing their hair wearing a decade old hoodie and look like they belong in a magazine spread?

Will is wearing one of Nico's looser shirts, on Nico it comes down past his hips and a little onto his thighs, on Will is he so much as lifts his arms a centimeter it reveals his hip bones. He doesn’t really mind, he kind of likes it to be entirely honest. Will can remember being just a few inches shorter than he is now and fitting fairly comfortably in Nico’s clothes at the time, they had never worried whose clothes they grabbed back then. Nico had finished his growth spirt and Will had thought he was done only two inches taller, it didn’t matter whose clothes were whose because everything fit well enough.

That wasn't quite the case now, Nico had stayed at his casual 5"5 while Will had shot up and extra six inches to 6"2 and ruined his own chances of sharing clothes. Such as right now he was sure he was wearing his own sweats, because he had specifically had to get a pair last night despite Nico's having been more accessible. Anytime he's actually managed to get a pair of Nico's pants comfortably on in the last few years, result in him wearing pants that are more like compression shorts or capris than pants.

Will was just happy he could wear some of Nico's larger shirts and hoodies still, the fact that Nico preferred to sleep in lots of clothes and typically baggy clothes meant Will had some options when it came to wearing his husbands stuff.

Will has also managed to steal a pair of Nico's socks, they're a taller pair on Nico (he buys winter wear so often because he's cold always) but on Will they gather a little awkwardly around his ankle. Will doesn't usually wear socks but they had gone to bed without the heat on and apparently the cold had set in over night and you could definitely feel it on their apartment floors.

The clothes would be a bit stretched out from him, it was something Will can remember being worried about after his second growth spurt, but Nico doesn't mind, He's assured Will of this time and time again, he says something about "aesthetic" and "alternative". Will doesn't really know, he's never cared much for fashion but he'll take Nico's word on it.

The truth, although it's something Nico would only admit in their bed late at night when it was so dark you could barely see his face, and arguably a little drunk as well, was that he actually enjoyed the way the clothes fit better after Will wore them. He found some sort of comfort in the way the shoulders of his shirts would be just a little too wide on him, it was one of those small acts of love, it wasn't one Will entirely understood but both of them got their own sort of enjoyment out of Will stretching out Nico's sleeping clothes some so they went with it.

Will turns his attention from Nico walking out the door to the coffee pot on the countertop.

Will doesn't like coffee much, he likes the social aspect of getting a cup more. Nico had introduced him to it, he’d been drinking it for years by the time they’d left camp. It reminded him of home and he grew to like it for such reasons, and although Nico would consume just about anything with enough caffeine in it Will needed creamer to enjoy coffee to any amount.

They were both honestly probably more tea people, but they never seemed to remember to buy any. Will will try to remember to write it down on the grocery list later, but Nico has walked back into the kitchen, climbed up on the counter next to Will and now he is looking at him; and Nico is always a distraction that's worthy of taking, Will will definitely forget to write down tea for their grocery list and the week will start over with more coffee in the house and no tea.

Nico’s fingers grip the countertop and he swings his legs a little bit back and forth from where he sits on the black granite, his white gold rings set against the counter in contrast. Will's worn out blue hoodie looks grey with age, the little printed letters are cracked and peeling on the back of it, his last name can still be read in white though.

Will knows the cliché about your lover wearing your name is often unhealthy and overly possessive, but he likes seeing Nico with his name because it feels like a gift. It’s like he’s given Nico a part of himself and Nico accepted it with pride, and Will loves that, he loves him and Nico being little pieces of each other.

Nico is smiling at him, and leans just so, Will turns in acknowledgment of the gesture, and moves so he’s standing to the left of Nico. Nico crosses his legs at the ankle and leans towards Will laying his head against Will where his neck and shoulder meet. Will leans forward and buries his face into Nico’s hair, comfortable and a little sleepy still.

"Coffee?"

"Mhmm."

"Good."

Will isn't the best cook, for fucks sake he's not even someone who could be considered a good cook, but he can handle this. Nico taught him the basics when they were still living at camp, Will failed every time, he ended up going home for a short period for Christmas break and begging his mom "teach me how to make eggs" he left off the bit about impressing Nico but he knows she knew. When he came back Nico had just smiled at him, "you practiced huh?"

Will hadn't gotten better at making much else, some eggs, toast, coffee and he could boil water now too! He had burnt lots of stuff over the years, plastic containers in the microwave, a plastic ladle they had on the stove top, at least 100 failed attempts at grilled cheese. Will was honestly just happy he hadn’t blown up any microwaves since he was a kid...

Nico had come home to many of Will's failed attempts at making him various things, sometimes the food was underdone other times it was bits of inedible char. Will did try, he really did, but the heat was always too high or he would end up distracted, or he would use sugar on accident instead of salt. Will did actually try, but his best attempts still often left something to be desired, so he often was the one doing dishes.

Most notably one time Nico had come home to him attempting to pan-frying some fish.

It had been supposed to be a surprise, it was Nico's birthday, and Will had had the day off of class even though Nico hadn't. He figured he would have surprised him; it had been back in their first apartment, not quite as nice as this one. A cheap tiled cream counter top that Nico had literally cringed at when seeing it the first time, the cabinets had somehow been cheaper than a set from IKEA and it had become an inside joke to them.

He had walked in the apartment to see smoke coming off the pan with a bit of flame still coming off it, and a large piece of charred fish stuck to the bottom of one of their frying pans.

"Hey dumbass, what did you do in here?"

People thought they were an odd couple, Will could see that. The whole parallel people drew between light and dark and optimism and pessimism and such between them, none of those people were really correct though. Will and Nico were more similar than they were different. At the end of the day it didn’t really matter what people said, Will liked Nico, he loved him in all honesty- he'd never heard the word "dumbass" said with so much affection.

Nico was hard for most people to read, years along had left him struggling emotionally in some manner; he did his best to hide most of his emotions, cloak them so heavily that sometimes they were even unrecognizable to Nico himself.

The most obvious example of this in regards to Nico was how "shut up" often meant "I love you", "idiot" was synonymous with "darling" in some ways. Don't get Will wrong, Nico could be very affectionate, but pet names came with hesitation for him in the early days; Should he use Venetian, Italian, or English? Masculine words that were romantic had been hard for him to say as well... But everyday he grew and got better, and Will was proud of him every time he called Will “dear” and didn’t hesitate before or after.

Nico had started masking his emotions at some point during his time at Westover, whatever he had done there hadn’t been much more than how much the average person masked their feelings, but when he started training with Minos Nico had doubled down on keeping his emotions secretive. Minos hadn’t been kind or safe in any sense of the word, emotions were what he used to manipulate Nico all that time, it was no wonder Nico developed such a strong sense of apathy towards anything overtime.

Nico could be affectionate, he could be the most loving person to ever exist. Nico’s emotions were sort of like secrets, if you stayed awake late enough into the night you would only come to know him then, such was the nature of him. He often whispered so quietly his wants and needs into the dark, there was some sense of fear tied to Nico’s vulnerability and he handed off his worries each night to the stars soft glow. Nico often refused to talk openly during the day, but at night apologies and truth always came, he had known what he had wanted earlier he had simply been to afraid of the rejection to acknowledge it, Will is glad that with the years the worst of such things is over; it is unlikely to be something Nico will ever fully grow out of, such is the nature of humanity, but progress is a virtue.

Such times not only resulted in Nico’s acknowledgement of his wants and faults, but also garnered the most affection from Nico. Nico couldn’t always communicate in an effective manner verbally, which was still a process they were working on, but he did his best. Nico’s act of love was like that of a small bird, he gave you small things that seemed insignificant until you realized he had only ever told you such things. Will fell in love with him for it, it wasn’t just about the way he would describe the wallpaper in his childhood bedroom, it was the fact that nobody knew anything else about Nico’s childhood bedroom.

Will had never truly understood the concept of “touch starved” until he met Nico, he had known the definition sure, but he had never truly witnessed it. Nico never asked for touch, but it was the way he leaned into it, the way he sought it out; pressing up against Will’s hand like a cat stretching trying to get a little more contact somehow, trying to make the touch last just a bit longer so he could savor it properly. It was literally starving in some manner, starving for contact that wasn’t a goodbye or a hit, just for wordless contact. When he grew comfortable he gave affection fully, there was a joy in holding Nico’s hand, knowing that he felt safe enough not to worry about the effect a few extra seconds of prepping for a fight that holding hands would add.

Nico didn’t show affection in big ways, and that was more than okay with Will; they were laid back in comparison to most, he’d have sought the comfort of placing soap bubbles on each others head in the tub a hundred times over a night on the town. Nico’s affection was something quiet and almost secretive, unknown to anyone it wasn’t directed at; it was the way he would lead Will out of a room to kiss him, or the quiet way he whispered “I love you” into Will’s ear when in public.

Will supposes in the early days “shut up” became “I love you” in order to avoid being seen as weak in some manner, in order to avoid acknowledging what he really wanted to say and having Will not respond in kind. Will didn't mind, they weren't an overly affectionate pairing- banter was common, almost everything they did was turned into some sort of game, the term "boys will be boys" definitely applied to their relationship of 3am pillow fights, late night discussions about what order the Christmas ornaments had to go up on the tree in, and whenever they wrote thesis papers for living room debates over the best Disney villain.

Will honestly preferred it that way, he preferred having the little moments reserved for solely them. He preferred the aversion to sappy clichés, the way a lover could say your name with exasperation and a smile that meant the whole world. He had seen what some other couples had, quick kisses in lines at cafes, holding hands across the table, and calling each other pet names they’d made up that were somehow ten times worse than the original- and Will didn’t want that.

It wasn’t that what those couples had wasn’t love, it just wasn’t love in a way Will could understand, it wasn’t love Will felt from those sort of exchanges. He didn’t understand the idea of “butterflies in your stomach”, love wasn’t nerves, love was like coming home after a long day, love was the way someone could say your name like it was divine, love was the way someone would smirk at you when you were missing the point, love was not being afraid to cry in front of them, it was knowing you could show up to them with any problem and instead of leaving you they would research the ins and outs of it in all their entirety.

The coffee maker makes a sound, Nico lifts his head of off Will’s body and the deep browns of his eyes are like the freshly turned dirt of fields in planting season, and Will feels like there’s a garden growing in his chest that Nico feeds. Nico sits straight on the counter and pulls his legs up and sits cross legged on the counter as he pulls out his hairband, and runs his fingers through his hair before pulling it back up without all the flyaways.

Will moves towards the coffee machine, pours it into two cups, and sets one on the counter beside Nico before making his way to the fridge to grab creamer. Nico’s watching him right now, but there’s no need for talking; there will be talking in a minute. Talking about Will’s schedule for the week, talk of whatever project Nico is working on right now, talk of what they should do for dinner the rest of the week, little sweet nothings, and eventually they’ll make their way to the couch to watch some tv and maybe later in the day they’ll play some sort of game or something as well.

So yeah, maybe "light" and "dark" were polar opposites and some people would have walked out on the word dumbass rather than immediately loving it, but Will liked it- everyday was a game of sorts, a new adventure, all with Nico who he loved. Coming home from work wasn’t necessarily about the place Will lived but knowing Nico would be there for him to see was the point of going home, home was wherever Nico was and some small part of Will hoped eternity was real in some manner.

Will remembered when Michael had died thinking nothing could possibly get worse, and in some ways he was kind of right; he had ended up with some sort of demigod style fairy tale ending with the man he loved, and that was ten times better than anything fifteen year old Will would have hoped for.

#solangelo #Nico di angelo #Will solace #pjo #hoo

80 notes · View notes

supernaturallyobsessedchic · 3 years

Text

Emergency! Part 5

Part 5 – Rattlesnake

Summary: A rollover crash has multiple squads responding to rescue, clean up and investigate the cause. During clean up Dean is bitten by a rattlesnake. An earthquake strikes, being the largest L.A has ever experienced since the 90’s. And the reader, was out shopping when it happened, trapping her under debris. Jack’s father is at Rampart for an operation, staff, and squad 51 learn of how toxic of a Father Lucifer is.

Warnings: Scary Situations, Suspense, implied Smut, Fluff, Brief toxic parent angst, long one full of suspense and action!

Word Count: 4,233

Square: Girls Night (There is a girls night in here, and I’m using it to fill my square for @supernatural-jackles Tell me a story bingo)

Bingo Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Mobile Masterlist

a/n: this takes place a year or so after Virus. This story is going to be a long one.

“Would it be a miracle that people were actually careful and safe?” Gabe says, walking into the stations kitchen.

“One could only dream.” Cas says.

“Who’s turn is it for making lunch?”

“It’s either the father or the son.” Michael says.

“It’s my turn for lunch nimrod.” Dean says, playfully getting Gabe in playful chock hold while rubbing his knocks on his head.

Gabe struggles to get out of the Winchester’s grip.

Dean let go with little protest.

“He’s the one that did the father and son crack.” Gabe whined.

“Yeah but Dean knows not to mess with me.”

“You are just as bad as Sam with the pranks.”

“How is little bro by the way?” Gabe asks.

“He’s good, won his first case at a firm downtown. Can’t remember the name of it. And he and Jess are actually getting married by the end of this year.”

“Oh it’s about time that kid popped the question.” Michael says.

“Yeah, he and Jess are coming down for Thanksgiving, they’ll meet Y/N…”

“Have you ever met Y/N’s family yet?”

“She doesn’t talk about her family much. I don’t push her if she’s not comfortable with it.”

The stations alarm goes off.

“Station 51, rollover accident…” The dispatcher giving the location as the station jumped into action.

They got to the location, on the winding dirt road in the mountains outside of LA. Seeing the car that rolled over the guard rail and down the slope.

“What do we got?” John asked the other station that responded.

The captain wearing a big white 20 on his helmet.

“Rollover, driver’s unconscious and we don’t know his condition.”

“I’ll send my paramedics on it.”

Dean and Cas getting their supplies and rushing to the car.

They recorded his vitals on their notepads.

“Cas go relay it to Rampart, I’ll stay here with him.”

“Got it.”

“Rampart squad 51. Rampart this is squad five one.”

Bobby happened to be by the radio.

“Go ahead 51.”

“Rampart, we have a rollover accident, the victim is trapped in the car. Vitals are, BP 120 over 79, pulse rate 78. Pupils dilated and sluggish.”

“Can you get the victim out without using the jaws?”

“Negative Rampart, driver side door is jammed.”

“Then start an IV, just have some normal saline to keep him hydrated. Can’t risk a head injury going unnoticed. Follow protocol, and we’ll be waiting for you.”

“10-4 Rampart.”

A little over a half hour passed and they managed to get the victim out of the car and in an ambulance and is on the way to the hospital.

Cas and Dean were packing up the squad.

“Shit, forgot the drug box by the car, I’ll be right back.” Dean says.

“’kay.”

Dean jogged down the hill to the car to pick up the drug box when he heard a rattle.

His heart sank.

Where was it?

It wasn’t until he saw the danger noodle jump at the moment he picked up the drug box, biting down on his arm. Then latching on.

Dean managed to calmly grab the snake by the head, forcing it’s mouth open. Getting it to release him and he threw the snake far.

He grabbed his radio.

“Station 51, it’s Dean. I just got bit by a rattlesnake.”

He quickly worked his belt off his waist to make himself a tourniquet.

“Gabe, Kevin, get down there now!” John ordered.

They hurried down the hill to Dean’s aid.

Earlier that day…

“Alright that’s the last of them.” Y/N says to herself as she got all settled in Dean’s house.

They had just recently took things to the next level and she has moved in with him. She was off work taking the time to finish settling in. But Dean’s 24 hour shift just started, so Dean was away at work, saving people.

“Now, a girls night…er, day.” She says, knowing who to call to hang out with for the day.

She pulls out her phone, calling up a few girls she knows and knows they’re off.

“Hey Donna, you up for a girls night?”

“Oh hell ya girlfriend, who’s all gonna be there?”

“Well, you, me, Rowena the overnight RN, Jody. I want to invite Charlie, a friend of Dean’s but I think she’s working.”

“Girl, I can’t wait! You want me to meet you at your place or Dean’s?”

“I just finished moving in with Dean, I’m at Dean’s. You can meet me at Dean’s.” She explained.

“Oh, ho-ho-ho, girl, we need to catch up!”

The girl was full of energy and Y/N could feel it through the phone.

“Yes we do, see you here in a few, and I’ll call the others.” She says, hanging up.

The doorbell rang hours later calling the girls. She opens the door.

“Hi!” Donna cheers, holding two cases of beer.

“You know how to party, Charlie’s off today she’s on her way with some wine as well.” Y/N says letting her in. Closing the door behind her.

“Oh, I like her already.”

“Jody got caught up with a Drunk Driver and won’t make it. But Rowena is coming so it’s just us four.”

“Still a good girls night, so what else are we doing tonight?”

“Probably catch up a bit, binge some Netflix shows. The Witcher season 2 is coming out soon and I want to rewatch that.”

“Oh, Geralt can hunt me down any day.”

“You do realize the man is hundreds of years old?”

“Yeah, but Henry Cavil isn’t.” she winks.

Y/N rolls her eyes with a giggle.

The doorbell rang shortly after revealing Rowena. And moments later, Charlie.

“You two are so going to get married.” Donna says, downing her second bottle of beer.

“He really is, really sweet, kind and the perfect kind of guy for me. He knows my schedule. And I know his. We both were scared the hours of our work would mess things up. But with how many times the man gets hurt on the job while I’m working I am always assuming he’s purposely getting hurt just so he can see me at work.”

Charlie giggling. “I see that being a thing he does.”

Rowena sipping away at the red wine Charlie brought.

“Ro, how are things with you girl?” Y/N asked.

“Oh, you know. Saving people, taking names…”

“She’s in love.” Donna deadpans.

Rowena rolls her eyes with a smirk.

Y/N gasps. “What’s his name?”

“His name is Arthur Ketch, he the neurologist up on Fourth Floor. He works under Singer.”

“Oh I know of him, I mean, Bobby is planning on retiring and isn’t Ketch supposed to take his place?”

Rowena nods with a hum. Still having a playful smirk on her face.

“Oh you are so in love with him.” Y/N says with a smile.

“He may have taken me out on a date a few days ago and we have another date tomorrow night.”

“Ro, I’m so happy for you!”

“Thank you sweetie, and I’m happy for you and Dean, don’t let that one go darling.”

“I don’t see that happening, just as long he stays safe on a job. I’m worried of him getting seriously hurt on the job. I mean that virus a year ago, that really scared me. I thought I was gonna lose him.”

The girls nod, understanding.

“Anyone up for some hot guys and monsters!” Donna says, entering the room with a glass generously full of red wine.

“Girl, you’re gonna regret the headache the next day.”

“I’m off work tomorrow, so if I get a migraine I’m good!” she says chuckling.

The girls rolling their eyes at their friend.

“Rowena, would you be able to drive her home?”

“Yes, she’s at least on the way home for me.”

“Thank you, last thing I want is to give poor Jody another drunk to worry about.”

“At least I’m the fun kind of drunk.” Donna says, getting the Witcher on Y/N’s TV screen.

“Ro, drive safe!”

“Will do sweetie, have a good rest of your night!” Rowena says, escorting a silly drunk Donna to her car.

“I’ll drive her car home tomorrow.” Y/N offers.

“Will do darling, goodnight!”

“Night!”

“Y/N that was the most fun I’ve had, never thought of you to be the nerdy type.”

“Oh, I’m a nerd in disguise if anything.” Y/N winks.

“Ugh, why are you straight!”

“Not sure.”

Y/N’s pocket happens to vibrate at that moment.

“Hello?”

“Y/N?” Hearing Dr. Kline’s voice on the other end.

“What’s up Jack?”

“It’s Dean, he’s been bit by a rattlesnake, he’s on his way in on the top of Engine 51.”

“I’m on my way.” Y/N says, not hesitating grabbing her keys to her car. Hanging up the phone quickly from him.

“I’m going with you sweetie.” Charlie says, following y/n to her car.

Turning the keys she turns on her emergency flashers and speeds her way to Rampart hospital.

“Engine 51, what are the patients vitals?” Jack asks.

Dean, takes his own pulse, his own blood pressure. All while Cas drove the squad ahead of the engine.

“Pulse rate, 95. O2 Sat, 98, Respiration 18, BP 120 over 65.”

“Dispatch relay to Engine 51 to start IV using Ringers Lactate.” Jack asks.

“Engine 51, Rampart advises start IV using Ringers Lactate.”

“10-4” Gabe says over the radio.

Dean having heard the radio begins the process to start an IV.

“There goes Engine 51!” Charlie shouts, while Y/N sat at the red light. Seeing the engine tear through the intersection.

Her light happened to turn green for her.

“Hold on.” Y/N says. As she starts pressing on the gas pedal slowly pushing it to the floor. Her tires squealing.

Gabe looked up hearing tires. Looking over the edge, he sees a familiar car.

“Oh shit, his girl is right behind us.” He says.

Dean chuckled. “And I’m the worry wort.”

“Engine 51, Rampart is requesting an update.”

“Relay to Rampart, patient is starting to experience numbness around the mouth, and he’s drowsy.” Dean says on the radio.

“Engine 51 you’re breaking up, please repeat.”

John grabbed the radio.

“Relay to Rampart, Patient is started to experience numbness around the mouth and he’s drowsy.”

“Roger that.” Dispatch says.

“Venom sounded like it hit a vein.” Jack says.

“Y/N’s gonna be so worried.” Meg says. Standing next to Bobby and Jack at the nurses station.

The squad, the engine pulled into the emergency entrance. Y/N pulled into the parking lot near the emergency entrance, finding a spot quickly. She quickly parked it, turned off the car. Jumping out, locking the car. Charlie staying close to her.

Meg stayed by the door, waiting for Y/N and Charlie.

“How’s he doing so far?” Y/N asked.

“We started a skin test with the antivenom. Hopefully he doesn’t have a reaction, that way we can start treatment right away.” Jack says.

“How long do we have to wait?” Y/N asked.

“20 Minutes.”

Y/N and the rest of the members of station 51 nodded, understanding.

“Let’s go wait guys.” Charlie suggested.

Everyone left the room, trying to keep their hopes high despite their shoulders slumped.

As the night came to a close, and he didn’t have a reaction to the antivenom skin test and he has been laying, sound asleep in his room as the antivenom worked it’s magic on him.

Y/N laid in his bed with him, curled into his side. Her head on his chest, listening to the calming rhythm of Dean’s heartbeat.

Dean began to stir awake, feeling a warmth at his side. Waking up a bit more he sees his favorite girl in his life laying at his side.

His arm came up around her, holding her close. Placing a loving sweet kiss atop her head as he fell back asleep, letting the rest and medicine work it’s magic on him.

The next day…

Y/N arrived on time to the hospital to pick up Dean, filling out his discharge papers another patient was being brought in.

“Who’s that?” Dean asks.

“Jack’s dad, he never talks about him.”

“Why is that?”

Jack happened behind them.

“I was adopted, he gave me up when I was, like 5.”

“Jackie, son how are you?” the man asks from the bed.

“You don’t call me son.”

“Since when can a father—”

“You may be my father by blood. But not a true father.”

“What did you expect me to hold your hand? Kiss your booboo’s when you got hurt like some sort of pansy?”

“Oh now I see why.” Dean mutters in Y/N’s ear.

“How long is he gonna be here anyway?” Jack asks the medics that brought him in.

“His cardiologist what’s him to have a pacemaker in today. So he’s gonna be here for a bit.”

Jack groans under his breath.

“I’ll hand him over to someone else?”

“Why do you suck ass?” His father asks.

“Okay, listen here dude.” Y/N steps in.

“Y/N, please—” Jack says.

“No, you can either treat the staff of Rampart emergency with respect or we can and will kick you out for your hostility.” She says.

He shrunk in his bed.

“Will you be on your best behavior or will I have to send you to a different hospital?” she asks.

“I’ll be on my best behavior.”

“Good. And if I hear your antagonizing him, or any more of our staff we will transfer you. And you won’t be welcome here again.”

“Understood.”

“Good.” She says, storming out of the hospital.

“Don’t piss her off, can anyone remind of that?” Dean asks jokingly as he follows her out.

Later on that day…

“Dean, babe, I’m gonna go do some arrands really quick.”

“Alright be safe sweetheart.”

She goes to the living room, where he sat watching Netflix, giving him a quick kiss on his lips. But Dean quickly places a hand on her cheek deepening the kiss. Clearly wanting more.

“Babe, maybe tonight. But I need to head out to stay ahead of traffic.”

“Fine, drive safe baby.”

“Always do!”

“Says the crazy girlfriend chasing a fire engine!”

“I’m not that crazy!” She laughed.

Dean chuckled as he heard her laugh, closing the door behind her.

She pushed her cart around Target getting not only food, but some cute lingerie for that night. Even grabbing Dean something from Spencer’s for them to try in bed later.

She felt the ground tremble slightly. The hairs on her arms stood up on end.

“No not now.” She mutters.

Without warning, the ground shook violently, taking her and other shoppers to the floor. The power going out, items being thrown on the floor. The lights swinging wildly, ceiling tiles falling. They were having a bad earthquake. And she was smacked in the middle of LA, in a multilevel mall.

Meanwhile Dean back at home had just turned off the oven having cooked himself some pizza for lunch after noticing Y/N having ate already.

He heart he windows vibrate, feeling the ground tremble slightly. He stood in the kitchen still yet alert.

When the ground gave way again to another violent shake, but only enough to cause their dishes to fall off the countertop, the cupboard doors swinging open and closed. The TV rocking back and forth on the stand. Dean dived to the table to get under it, and wait it out.

Meanwhile back at Target, screaming shoppers can be heard throughout more than just Target.

Once the shaking had calmed down, she knew they had to get out immediately.

She quickly pulled out her phone. Seeing the alert had gone off.

An 7.5 earthquake.

“How big was that?” someone asks.

“I don’t know but that was big!” someone else shouts.

“My phone says 7.5, it was big enough.” Y/N shouts.

“Oh god, we’re dead!”

“Okay, Okay, don’t panic, we just have to get out of here before the aftershocks kick in.” Y/N suggests.

“Where can we go, we’re on the top floor!”

“At one part of the mall this is the ground floor, we just have to find another one of the exits. Avoid the escalators, we have to get out before the floor collapses on us.” She explains.

“I’m with her.”

“Oh my god! Someone help me!”

Bring on the victims. She thought.

“I’m a nurse, what’s wrong!” Y/N shouts.

“It’s my husband, he’s bleeding!”

She ran to the panicked woman.

“Where at?” she asks.

“His leg, a shard of glass from the wine cut him.”

She examines his leg.

“Do you have a belt sir?”

He nods.

“Let’s get it off of you and make a tourniquet.” She says.

Y/N helps him get his belt off and works on tying it above the cut on his leg. Not too tight but tight enough.

“Okay, do you got him?” she asks the man’s wife.

“Yes, but where---”

“I came in from the ground level entrance, it’s a ways north, we just go this way.” She pointed out.

“You make it sound so easy, how are you so calm?”

“I’m an emergency nurse at Rampart.”

“You’re so amazing, thank you, thank you so much.”

“You’re welcome, now lets get out of here.”

“Alright everyone, you can follow me, the ground level entrance is this way.” Y/N shouts.

And she began leading the herd.

“Do you hear that?” Someone asked in the Food quart.

“Oh shit, they didn’t turn off the gas.” Y/N muttered.

“GET AWAY FROM THE FOOD QUART!” She shouts.

Just as the people ran in a panic out of the doors near the food quart leading to one of the parking lots out on the ground level, an explosion of fire broke out in a couple of the restaurants in the food quart.

“We’re dead!” a number of people shouted.

“We’ll get out of this, just stay calm and follow me!” Y/N encouraged. As she and everyone behind her, around her, all shielded themselves from the fire.

Dean, in his car sped his way to station 51.

“It’s all hands on deck, there’s fires everywhere.” John says as Dean entered the station.

“Y/N’s at the mall.”

“Which one?”

“The one off of Center Pointe.”

“Shit, that’s one of our calls. Get suited up, and lets go.”

As the alarm goes off in the station, Dean hurries to the squad, grabbing his fireman’s bottoms and coat.

“I got your boots and mine, lets go!” Cas says, getting in the passenger.

Dean not wasting anytime, turns on the squad and follows the engine out of the station, speeding towards the shopping center.

“Are we there yet?” a little girl asks.

“Almost there sweetheart, we just have to---”

“Wait!” someone pulls Y/N back.

Y/N grabbing the man’s arm noticing a drop.

“The floor caved in…shit, that’s what I was worried about.”

“Oh, now what!?”

She looked around, finding another way through the store down below.

“Look there’s an exit down there.”

“But it leads to the underground parking.”

“Still it’s a way out, just wait here then, there’s an incline here, I’ll just climb down and see how far the exit is from the underground parking.” Y/N says, determined to get these people out and out alive.

Sliding down the concrete ramp, she jogs through the store, climbing through a fissure in the wall, seeing the garage not perfect but from where she was there was a path closest to the building leading out to daylight.

She hurries back to the scared people.

“There’s a straightforward path outside from here, come on, if we hurry---”

The ground began to shake, throwing her off balance.

“Oh no it’s an aftershock!” someone shouted.

The engine managed to get to the shopping mall, seeing a fire in one section. Coming to a stop they can feel the aftershocks.

“Shit, we have to hurry, Dean, Cas, find a way in. Kevin, Michael, find us some water!” John ordered.

Dean taking the squad closer to the building, scoping out a way in.

“We could try there.” Cas suggested.

“It doesn’t look too structurally sound Cas.”

“It’s holding up so far.”

“True. Okay, but lets find a plan B.”

“And C.”

“And D.”

“I hear sirens!” Someone shouted.

“Come on, the opening is still here!” Y/N shouted.

“Go on baby, mommy and daddy are right behind you.” A pair of parent said to the small girl.

She slid down the concrete ramp, looking scared and timid but Y/N stood by close until her parents met up with her.

“Okay, keep it going, we’re almost out of here!” Y/N encouraged.

It seemed to be going smoothly, everyone was starting to rush down the ram and running outside, frantically.

“Dean look!” Cas shouted as Dean made a loop around the Mall.

“That’s a good sign, okay, let’s help them.” Dean says, bring the squad to a stop.

“Engine 51, this is squad 51, Cap, there’s an couple of entrances above ground that are stable, but we found one by the underground parking, a large number of survivors are coming out.”

“Copy that.” John says.

“Anyone hurt!” Cas asked as he got out.

A number of people saying their fine, scared. A select few coming forward with injuries of cuts.

“Good job miss on making that tourniquet.” Dean commented.

“Oh, I didn’t do that, a nice lady, a nurse from Rampart did it.”

Dean’s heart dropped. Y/N was in there.

“Did you see her?” Dean asked. Unable to hide the panic look in his face.

“We ran right past her, she led us out that way.”

“Atta girl, Cas you got them?” Dean asked.

“I got them, go.” Cas says as he attends to the couple.

Dean got to the opening and he could see a familiar figure in the dark dusty parking lot.

“Y/N!”

“Dean!” she shouts, turning to find him in the opening.

People still trinkling out. Dean helping them out the best he could.

“You hurt!”

“No, I’m fine, just help them!”

What started as a light tremble got slightly stronger, another aftershock.

“Oh fuck, Y/N hurry up!” Dean shouted.

Y/N hurried the people out. And just as she was making her way to Dean she heard a puppy barking. Stopping her dead in her tracks. She began to search for it.

A puppy scurried out from under a car with a limp, barking fearfully.

“It’s okay baby, I got you.” She says, hurrying to the scared puppy. Looking at it’s paw. Seeing a shard of glass in one of it’s paw pads.

“Poor thing, I got you.” She says.

She heard a crack in the concrete. All of a sudden the ceiling looking closer and feeling a lot closer. She fell on her rear, the ceiling seemed like it didn’t want to stop.

No. she prayed.

The after shock stopping just as soon as it started, the ceiling stopped.

“Y/N! Please say something!”

“I’m okay!” she shouts.

The concrete already sounding unstable, she hurries, crawling on all fours with the puppy in her hand, she even brings her feet into the crawling.

Like a domino effect, the ceiling begins to collapse.

A little girl stopped by one of the cars, scared, crying. Not stopping, she grabs the girl by the arm, and continues to crawl.

“Run guys, run!” Dean chants.

“Keep going sweetie, keep running!” Y/N tells the little girl.

The girl being the first out, dives into Dean’s arms.

“I gotchu sweetheart!” Dean tells her.

Y/N making a dive out, landing on her back with the pupping in her chest as the parking lot collapses behind her in a cloud of dust.

Y/N got up, still holding the puppy, trembling in her arms, licking her graciously on her neck. As if it was thanking her for saving her.

Dean stood by the squad, consoling the child, sees Y/N walking with a puppy in her arms. Panting from the adrenaline. Hurries to her, engulfs her in his arms.

“Are you okay?” he asks.

“I’m fine.”

“You go to Target and you come back with a puppy.” He smirks.

“I couldn’t resist, he was cute!” Y/N giggles.

“So far, everyone’s okay, in one piece, little girl’s back with her parents.” Dean informs her.

“That’s good.”

“Is it me or does danger just seem to find us?”

“Something.”

The next day…

“Come here Tremor!” Y/N coaxes.

The Basset Hound Puppy running over, his ears flopping in the wind. Making Y/N giggle.

“Good boy!”

“I’m home!” Dean shouts from the house.

“Go get daddy boy!” she encourages. The puppy making a mad dash for Dean. Only to trip on his ears in the run. Earning a laugh from Dean and Y/N.

“It’s okay buddy, I gotchya!” Dean says, meeting the puppy halfway, and picking him up.

The puppy showering Dean in licks.

“Been good for mommy.”

“Still working on potty training, he peed in the house, that’s why I opened it up.”

“Eh, it’s a learning progress for the little dude.”

“Yeah, so, how was work today?”

“Oh, same old. Rescued a cat from a tree, saved a heart attack victim. The usual.” Dean jokes.

Y/N giggling. Giving him a kiss on the lips. Only for him to deepen it, the puppy getting jealous and licking both of them.

“Okay, Tremor, we get it.” Dean goes.

“And I owe someone some sexy fun time tonight.” Y/N says playfully as she heads back inside.

“Yes you do.” Dean says. Following her at her heels.

A/N: How did you like it? I’m so glad my block is gone and I was able to cook this up. Let me know how you liked it! Feedback is always appreciated! :3

Dean Girls:

@pandazombie69, @luci-in-trenchcoats, @supernatural-jackles, @becs-bunker, @jayankles, @jeaniespiehs20, @mlovesstories, @winchesters-favorite-girl, @flamencodiva, @megzdoodle, @lyarr24, @akshi8278, @anotherspnfanfic

Copying and reposting someone else’s content is plagiarism and illegal. This work is property of supernaturallyobsessedchic. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. These works contain material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of these works may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from the author / publisher. An electronic reference link to the original posted work may be provided for purposes of promotion or assistance of publication by the readers discretion, if proper credits are given to the author in the re-post. 4/6/2021

45 notes · View notes

koushisatori · 4 years

Text

Anniversary

First of all: If you happen to stumble across this, please cut me some slack and be gentle with me. English is not my mother tongue, and on top of that, I got rusty by procrastinating everything (literally) for the last half-year (*μ_μ) I am apologizing in advance if something is weirdly written.

This is also my first ever piece of fanfiction, so I have to get used to that to :(( So if you got ideas or anything, I’ll gladly try to fulfill your wishes to simultaneously improve my writing.

Hmm, is there anything else? I hope not, and if there is, I’ll add it !!

tendou x f!reader

genre: small bit of angst, fluff

warnings: none

word count: 2.7k

note: /

__________________________________________________________

usually, your relationship with Tendou is smooth sailing, both of you decided to take the step of moving in together relatively early, exceeding the common couples limit by not only doing this barely a year into your relationship but doing so in a different country far from your family and friends

(both of you learning french together to survive a new life in an absolutely foreign country...however, the first months of grocery shopping were disastrous )

you both became a couple in your last year at Shiratorizawa, surprising absolutely....well,...no one, honestly

every person just seeing a moment of your interactions with each other would have guessed that you already were dating

Tendou and you were the embodiment of being disgustingly in love - like people see you and feel s i n g l e wanting to have what you two obviously found with the other

(SemiSemi, to this day, shudders violently thinking about how he caught you two making out in the storage room a week after Tendou finally confessed to you <3)

anyway

while Tendou followed his dream of becoming a chocolatier, you began to study - enter: stress

after finishing his required training he got a job at a high-class factory (everything his handmade and super expensive?? You’re just so lucky to be his better half and get to taste his creations for free)

they value his skills and invest in him to become better, but that also means that his time for you shrank even more

you understood that, of course, and it's not like you didn’t spend a lot of your times crouching over books either with being close to receiving your first degree

in general, your fights are stressed-induced, and as quickly forgotten as they came up bc...let’s not beat around the bush, both of you are shit at staying mad at the other, especially if it means cutting short the already sparse time you currently have <3

they’re usually about petty stuff, too

recently though it happens more regularly and they ever so slowly started to border on painful

he stays at work for longer to perfect his already otherworldly skills; and your patience is running thin with all the deadlines and exams putting immense pressure on you

both of you are just so unsatisfied and stressed and...so fucking tired

it’s always forgivable though

you don’t mind planned dinner dates turning into movie nights with him falling asleep on you after what feels like seconds

because he’s there, pressing his face into your side or stomach hard enough for you to wonder if he’s trying to suffocate himself, while his long arms are around your waist holding onto you as if his life depends on it

he doesn’t mind being splayed across your lap watching the latest episodes of his series while you type away on your laptop, even though you were supposed to enjoy a nice weekend lazying in front of the tv with him

a forgotten date hasn’t killed you yet as well, but the amount of times it was currently happening allowed insecurities to have their way with you

both of you always make up for it one way or another (leaving an apology breakfast or even taking it to bed, buying flowers, sharing the sweet kisses you were supposed to enjoy the night before,...)

but this time, he didn’t just forget to be on time for any date.

he completely missed your anniversary

you spend the whole afternoon cooking his favorite dish for dinner, making yourself all pretty for him, wearing the jewelry he got you for your birthday, it was some kind of tradition by now

just to be stood up, dinner turning cold and your mood sour

no message, no callback

around 11pm he - finally ! - gets in touch with you

‘‘(Y/N)!! Bunny, did something happen? Did you miss me so much?’’

you could hear the dopey grin he was wearing while teasing you, one you usually loved, one that was contagious

but it didn’t help the pain and disappointment nesting in your heart, right now

he really didn’t remember

was the date so insignificant to him? were you no longer a priority?

you swallow around the lump in your throat, desperately begging your brain to not amplify your insecurities even more

‘’No...it’s...it’s alright, I just wanted to know when you’re home...’’ your attempt to keep the doubts and pain you experienced that second hidden was pointless, because even on the phone, your boyfriend was able to look right through you

‘‘Bunny what’s wrong?’’ he asks worriedly

normally you’d say that it was alright, that you’d speak later or directly say what was bugging you so terribly

this time...you didn’t feel like talking or maybe even fighting, scared that he might confirm your thoughts and leave you

‘’It’s nothing, Tendou,...’’ you hear him wince, you can’t remember the last time you called him that ’’don’t bother with me if it’s not as important to you.’’

‘‘Not as...’’ a moment of silence follows, in which he checked the date and, lastly, Tendou understood ‘’Oh. Oh shit, (Y/N),...Bunny, please, wait for me, please, let me explain...’‘

It’s not the answer you wanted (on the other hand, what answer would that be?)

‘‘I waited...and I’m tired,’‘ you add without thinking, hanging up before he even got the chance to answer

while you don’t want things to end...you can’t help but think ‘what if?’ - that thought alone though is enough for the dams to burst

With a soft groan, you blink your burning eyes open, noticing your spine protesting and pop from the uncomfortable position you fell asleep in. A glance at the alarm clock elicited another tired groan, the 4 on display mocking you.

The burning and overall sluggish feeling controlling your body immediately reminded you of the things that had taken place. That his scent surrounding you arose solely due to his pillow in which you had pressed your face.

While you obviously weren’t on the best of terms right now, a small part of you was still hopeful and reached out across the bed in search for the warmth your red-haired better half usually provided. Unsurprisingly, your hand met a cold bed half.

An annoyed sigh later, you sat up and rubbed over your eyes angrily. You were hurt, which should be understandable, but remembering his overly happy tone even with evident tiredness underlaying it, you guessed that he didn’t stay behind on purpose and that, maybe, something good had happened. So to say, you as well behaved like an idiot.

Suddenly, you remember the last sentence you said. Realizing what it implied, you felt like banging your head against the wall. You wanted to be understood by him. What you didn’t want was to give Satori the time to allow his anxious tendencies to fester while he was alone, foregoing untrue, negative ideas. The fact that he still wasn’t in bed with you, was proof enough which lead to you cursing out loud.

While your last words towards him told something differently, you surely didn’t want to leave him or him to leave you. Both of you could work things out, you always did, and…well, you always hoped that it would stay that way until you had lived a fulfilling life as a couple, with grey hair and wrinkles taking your last breath together wherever life would lead the two of you.

The simple solution was to communicate like the grown adults you are.

Determined to talk through it the way you should have done earlier and maybe...just maybe get some cuddles afterward, you swung your legs out from under the blankets. After you quickly put on some warm, worn-out socks, you quietly leave the bedroom and tip-toe through the hallway.

You expected the apartment to be silent, to be dark. What you didn’t expect is the soft light coming from your shared kitchen. Or the clinking noises of bowls and pots colliding lightly, lowly muttered, sleepy curses, and even quieter sniffles interrupting the barrage of words from time to time.

Upon hearing those little sounds - no doubt coming from your anxious boyfriend - your heart clenched painfully in your chest. This is your injudicious doing. Straightening your back, you stepped into the kitchen, slightly squinting against the much harsher ceiling lights assaulting your eyes.

The original plan was to offer a heartfelt apology, and follow it up by an honest declaration of love and the proposal to talk about everything. There were a lot of things that needed to be cleared up between you and Tendou. But after entering the kitchen, you came to an abrupt halt.

Your eyes wandered, lingering on cuts, burns, and blisters that blemished your boyfriends' pretty fingers. Slowly, your gaze continued to move up his arms and shoulders, tensed and screaming out his fear of losing you. For a moment, you hesitated, but you eventually lifted your gaze to meet his wide eyes, as red-rimmed and puffy as yours. He looked like a deer caught in headlights. Normally, you would find it adorable and stretch your hands out to cup his cheeks (not to pull him down, definitely not) and press a kiss to his lips...but right now? You really just felt like crying, seeing your Satori so heartbroken over something you said carelessly in the heat of the moment.

Suddenly wincing, Tendou quickly pulls back his hand to his chest away from the hot stove. Yet, he did not dare to break eye contact with you. Seemingly afraid that what he currently saw is nothing but a sleep-deprivation induced hallucination. That you would just vanish if he so much dared to even think of blinking.

The stupor rooting you to the spot though vanished in favor of closing the gap between the two of you to help him.

‘‘Tori...’‘ you croaked worriedly, eyes flickering down to his hands and back up to his watery, sad eyes. ‘‘I’m so sorry,’’ you whispered. Any louder and your voice might break. ’’...let me take care of you.’‘

You turned off the stove before you gently tugged Tendou behind you to the bathroom. Making him sit on the edge of the small tub, you gathered everything you needed to patch him up with rehearsed movements.

For a while, both of you were silent.

You carefully worked on disinfecting cuts and putting special creams on the different wounds and burns, while not hurting him any further. Concentrating on ignoring the thick tension of untold apologies, and fear. Doubt weighing heavy on the two of you.

Meanwhile, Tendou couldn't help but admire your features. Your soft hair - faintly smelling like peaches and anis - falling into your face, hiding away your pretty (Y/E/C) eyes. He loved to get lost in them. Or how your tongue poked out between your lips in concentration and the little scrunch of your nose when you thought that you could have done better.

Even in this hazy state of mind, he knew for certain that he would try to hold onto you for as long as possible. That he would do anything to make you forgive him.

After you finished gently wrapping band-aids (silly ones with colorful patterns just the way you both love) around his fingers, on his palm, and back of his hand, he quickly moved them to hold onto yours.

‘‘Don’t leave me.’‘ Tendou's voice is just above a whisper, and if you wouldn't have been that close to him as you were, you would have missed it. But you could hear him, and your eyes immediately met his, filling with tears all over again.

‘‘Satori, I’m-’‘

‘‘(Y/N), please...please, don’t leave me. I’m so sorry. Of course, I care. Our relationship, you...nothing’s as important to me as you are. It was the only thing keeping me sane that last week. I don't know why I forgot about it. I truly feel horrible.'' he started. ''Please, believe me. I love you so, so much. I...I can’t imagine a life without you. I don’t want to.’’ Even with his voice quivering, it was crystal clear just how serious his words were to him.

He needed to get it out in the open. There was no way in hell that he would allow any doubts about your relationship to fester in your mind.

‘’I was held back to talk about the upcoming Christmas preparations that I’m supposed to be leading this year, and then I was called into the boss’ office and I couldn’t check my phone,’‘ the desperation to explain still evident, Tendou resorted to rambling about the happenings of the day.

‘‘I’m sorry for hurting you, but Bunny, I beg you...I know that we haven't had enough time those last weeks, that we didn't have any if we’re honest. I understand that you must feel neglected. I will change that, give me a chance to make you forgive me, please.’‘

It wasn’t like you wanted to cry again, but the tears rolling down your cheeks seemed to have a mind on their own. ‘’ ‘Tori...’’ you sniffled, your voice breaking away at the last syllable. ‘’Can I hug you?’’

The relief on his face spoke volumes, and before you even got the chance to make good on your words, he already stands tall in front of you, enveloping you tightly.

Securely wrapped up in Satoris’ arms, you feel like coming home after months away. Or like taking in the first gasp of fresh air after holding your breath underwater for too long. With Tendou holding onto you like this, you found the strength to answer.

''I'm sorry, too...I love you so much, and...I know you always have a reason, and it was childish to hang up on you and leave you worrying alone instead of talking to you. And...if you neglected me those last weeks, then I did the same. We both were too busy for each other...''

After a short pause, you ask: ''B-but we can work it out, right?’’ Slowly, you looked up to him. ‘’I want to spend my life with you, Satori. Don’t listen to dumb me 5 hours earlier. 5-hours-ago-me was so stupid, and petty, and does not reflect my true wishes,’’ you added. ’’No one of our old friends wanted to put up with me the last week because I’m so head over heels in love with you and all I do is tell them ‘’You should have seen what Tori did for me’’ and what I plan to do for you...I can feel them roll their eyes from the other side of the world!’’

Suddenly aware of your very honest words, you pushed your face against his chest to hide your burning cheeks. Embarrassment painting them in a pretty hue of pink.

Tendou hadn't realized that he had actually held his breath listening to your words until he chuckled a bit breathlessly. The remaining tension possessing both of your bodies faded away after that, allowing you to relish in the feeling of having the other in your arms again.

After a while, you bravely gazed up at him again, even with your cheeks still set ablaze. ''Come to bed?'' And with a sweet smile, one that reached his eyes and made your heart stutter, he nodded.

Things between the two of you weren't ideal quite yet, Tendou kknew that much. But they would be. Tomorrow would be a new day. You would hopefully agree to celebrate your anniversary a day later. He hoped, that you would agree to spend it with him from the first second you woke up to the very last before you fell asleep. You will hopefully enjoy the news that his promotion was topped with holidays that allowed you to spend Christmas and New Year's Eve with your families in Japan.

He also hoped for you to say yes when, surrounded by your friends, he would ask you to marry him under the Cherry Blossoms in spring.

Things weren't quite ideal, but watching your peaceful expression while sleeping on his chest, he knew, all the up and downs were worth powering through. He would embrace every hardship if that meant keeping you by his side forever.

#Haikyuu #haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader #is this a headcanon? idk but I'll tag it like that for now until I know better #haikyuu headcanons #Shiratorizawa x reader #Tendou x reader #Haikyuu imagines #haikyuu scenarios

64 notes · View notes

7wanderingpaws · 5 years

Text

Simply, yours (3)

Pairing: Baekhyun x reader

Genre: non-idol AU, hapkido teacher AU, family AU

Word count: 3.5K

a/n: Enjoy! Edit: since the uploads aren’t necessarily frequent and you wish to be tagged, drop me a message please ^^

.3.

Few days passed by, the relationship between you and Baekhyun somehow cold. There was something seriously bothering him and you couldn’t pinpoint what it could be. Silent mornings and evenings, scarce pecks on the lips, scarce touching, sad, troubled eyes.

To say the least, it was building up. With the busy working hours, rarely getting any chance to eat and some weird fatigue that was chasing you down, it was bound to happen.

But first things first.

It was exactly this day, a regular Wednesday in September when Baekhyun was having PhD classes and your boss was exceptionally needy of fast-paced work, when you bought the pregnancy test in the nearby pharmacy. After getting all the necessary morning work done, you silently left for the bathroom, your little cosmetic bag tightly gripped in your hand that was slightly trembling.

Honestly, you have been experiencing trembling for two days now, your head hurting, your appetite gone. This was one way to see if your worst fears (once dreams) were coming true.

It took you a whole lot to pee on the stick and double of that whole lot to actually see the result. It could easily be life-changing.

The interesting bubbles in your belly didn’t go unnoticed. There was this strange tension running in your veins that made you excited. If it turned out to be negative, would you be disappointed? Would you feel sad and unaccomplished?

The truth was still standing strongly; you couldn’t deny your deepest dream of having a child with Baekhyun so if this wouldn’t turn out well, you would face a big cloud of disappointment hanging above your head.

“Okay, Y/N, let’s breathe, it is all fine,” you whispered to yourself, your heart beating fast. “Either way it is…” you hesitated, biting your lip, “good.”

Why did you care about your darn work so much? You wanted a child, Baekhyun wanted a child. Shouldn’t it be natural to follow what you were dreaming of? Shouldn’t it be your own personal business?

Screw everyone!

Screw them!

Yeah!

Turning swiftly, you checked the test that was sitting on the toilet’s deck. Before completely processing, you desperately wanted your love to be on the phone line with you, his voice being at least a bit of a comfort, encouragement. He would share this moment with you, whether good or bad. Baekhyun would do it for you, always.

One beat, two beats.

Your eyes were focused on the result.

Closing your eyes tightly, you felt the pressure completely dissipating in the cold air of the washroom. Deflating like a balloon. Like half a broken cup.

Letting out a shaky breath, you nodded once to yourself, feeling your eyes sting with threatening tears. You desperately needed a Baekhyun. A gentle Baekhyun. A comforting Baekhyun. You needed him.

Searching for your phone, you managed to get it out of your cosmetics bag, for once ignoring one missed call from your boss, although it did give you a scare as to why was he calling you. He was supposed to be in his meeting right now.

Two taps away was your boyfriend and you didn’t hesitate to tap, quickly checking the time to see if he was in a break right now. He was.

It took him three rings to pick up.

“Baby?”

Hearing his voice, all leveled up as he was probably sitting in a coffee shop with his pals, made you weak for a moment, but you couldn’t let him know you were about to have a break-down. “Hey, hun. You’re on your break?”

“Yeah, sipping my coffee before heading to the sports management lecture,” he replied, his voice light.

You knew he was trying his best, despite not telling you what was bothering him lately. You could feel he was happy to hear your voice, maybe even craving it just like you were now.

When you hadn’t responded, he asked: “Is everything alright, sweetheart?”

“Um,” you let out to win some time. “Um, yeah! All is good actually,” you stammered. Suddenly, your vision became blurry from the tears. “I needed to hear you,” you whispered truthfully, feeling your voice would break if you would kept going on.

You heard a chair scratching the floor, Baekhyun muttering a “I’ll be back” before a random ding could be heard, probably of the coffee shop door. He went out. “What’s wrong, y/n? Did something happen? Are you sick?”

“No, no, I’m all good, promise,” you said, regaining your strength as you sat down on the toilet lid. “Just a lot of work is all. How is your day going so far?”

He paused for a bit, mulling over your words. “Actually, it is going excruciatingly slow today,” he admitted, letting out a low chuckle that made your belly jump. “And you just made my day much better, now that I hear you, princess.”

Sighing, you closed your eyes, feeling the tears spilling. Your conversation was so simple, yet it made you feel overwhelmed with emotions, with this strange, palpable intimacy you two shared. “Are you staying for a study session tonight?”

“Hm, I’m still not sure,” he replied, a gentle wind muffling the sound of the speaker. “If you would come home on time tonight, I might be back soon too.”

If.

“If I could, I would go right now to Sungkyungkwan and take you with me,” you chuckled, wiping your cheeks with the back of your free hand. “Oh yeah, I would,” you sighed again nodding to yourself, the idea too sweet to be true.

Baekhyun laughed, that low vibration you usually heard under your ear as it was pressed to his naked chest in the early hours of morning after a wonderful love-making session. “Feeling bold today, aren’t we?”

You hummed. “Today is the boldest of the days, Baekhyun.”

“Then come.”

“Where?”

“To me, silly,” he chuckled.

“Just me?”

“Just you. Only you. Other living creatures are not invited. I want to have you just for myself,” he said, flirty mode on.

You bit your lip. “That might be a bit tricky.”

Baekhyun laughed again but his question caught you off guard. “Honey, just tell me what is bothering you.” When you didn’t reply right away, he added: “I know you wouldn’t call just like that.”

“I do call you!”

He snorted. “Sure. You always say you don’t want to interrupt the bonding time with my friends.”

You imagined him casually leaning against the coffee shop wall, one hand in his pocket while the wind gently played with the strands of his hair. “It’s true though,” you pouted.

“Less pouting, more speaking,” he reminded softly.

God, he knew you too well. Was it allowed for a person to know you better than you knew yourself?

If it was Baekhyun you guessed it could pass.

“Let’s talk once I’m home, alright? For now, I just needed to hear you, my love.”

He sighed, obviously not satisfied with the outcome. “Will you at least come home early tonight?” he asked, hope dripping from his voice. “So that my day could pass quicker, since I have something to look forward to.”

You smiled for yourself. “God, I love you. And yes. Today I shall try my best to get out of here early.”

As mentioned, it was this day. This regular Wednesday in September when Baekyhun was having PhD classes and your boss was exceptionally needy of fast-paced work, when you passed out in the early evening hours, just when you got the approval to leave work early. This regular Wednesday, when Baekhyun had a cheerful skip to his step, too eager to calmly make his way through campus to the bus stop to catch the earliest bus to your shared home, before he would get a call from Sukyeong to hurry, because you had fainted. This regular Wednesday, when many things were in jeopardy.

Honestly, you were just reaching for your cup of tea when the subtle dizziness you were feeling the whole day overcame your senses, darkened your vision and a weird energy pulled you out of your chair and down on the floor.

Sukyeong almost passed out after she watched you fall helplessly fall to the floor, alarming the doctor on the ground floor for emergency.

Waking up in an unfamiliar environment was something you hated. It only happened to you two times (first time was after your first night spent with Baekhyun, the second was after you got terribly drunk on your 18th birthday) and both times you looked for one person to search for comfort. But he wasn’t there.

Instead, two men that were not your boyfriend, were giving you a look. The first one was the doctor in your company building, his look gentle, the other one was the face of your boss and it was nothing close to gentle nor worried. He was pissed off.

“Ms Y/L/N,” he started officially, his voice a bit too loud for your comfort, making you close your eyes right away. “What is this? Fatigue? How?”

“Mr Kim,” scolded gently the elder doctor. “Not now. She needs to rest.”

“Why would my personal assistant leave me like this? What would make her get into this state? So weak,” he muttered, running his hand over his face.

Trying to calm down, you kept your eyes closed, the throbbing pain in your head still present.

“I will have to ask you to leave,” the doctor decided eventually, “I have some issues to discuss with Ms Y/L/N.”

“You made the blood test, right?” asked your boss as if you were deaf and absolutely not present on the bed in the small room.

The doctor sighed. “Mr Kim, I will discuss that issue after I talk to the patient.”

Your boss sighed before turning to reach for the door. You slowly opened your eyes just to see the doors being open, the outside ruckus till now completely unheard. In the doorstep was towering your boyfriend, Mr Kim looking pathetically small and fat as he focused his gaze on Baekhyun.

“Where is she? Is Ms Y/N Y/L/N here?” he asked breathlessly while his panicked look was searching the room until they landed on you.

Your eyes opened wider, finally seeing the face you desperately wished to see. “Baekhyun.”

He stepped around your boss, ignoring everyone before he reached your bed and grabbed your hand to kiss the back of it. “Honey, are you okay?”

You nodded, frowning at your boss who was now staring at you and Baekhyun.

“Excuse me, sir, but who are you?”

Baekhyun kept looking into your eyes, the question not moving him a bit.

“He is Y/N’s boyfriend,” you heard a small voice from the door. You recognized Sukyeong. “And if you don’t stop, he will kick your ass in a professional hapkido manner,” she murmured to herself.

“Boyfriend? I didn’t know you have a boyfriend, Ms Y/L/N. When I mentioned it last time, you didn’t admit it.”

Baekhyun kept looking at you, and you at him, completely ignoring your boss.

“Please, everybody leave. I need to talk to the patient,” the doctor spoke up, raising from his seat behind the table to show his authority.

“Honey,” Baekhyun muttered urgently, pressing another quick kiss to your hand. “Are you okay?” he repeated, his voice desperate for any confirmation from you.

You nodded quickly, feeling another burn of tears in your eyes. Could this day be finally over?

Then you were hit by the realisation. What news you learned today. What news you had yet to tell… to the pleasing eyes that were boring into you.

“Sir, she is alright, it was just a fatigue. A bit of a rest and she will be like a new person,” the doctor reassured after your boss and Sukyeong left. “Just 10 minutes and she will be all yours again.”

Baekhyun still did not break the eye contact as he slowly rose to his feet. “I’ll be right outside,” he murmured to ensure you.

You nodded and your glistening eyes did not go unnoticed by him before he turned to leave.

Once the doors were closed, you bit your lip, keeping in the trembly chin as the doctor approached the bed you were lying on, a small plastic chair in his hand which he placed next to you. “Ms Y/N,” he started.

You turned your head properly to have a good look. His eyes were soft and kind, wrinkles from laughing so much evident. That made you a bit calmer.

“Is work too much?”

You didn’t feel like talking about that.

“Any particular reason why you didn’t eat your meals and drank enough water? What about sleeping?”

“It’s all good,” you murmured.

“It isn’t good enough,” he scolded gently.

Looking at him, you questioned his words with your eyes.

He sighed. “It won’t do, if you keep up with this lifestyle. Not for the next nine months at least.”

Your breath hitched in your throat when you realised what he was trying to tell you. So you just sighed, closing your eyes and resting your hand on your forehead, needing time to process. “I don’t know what to do. He will sack me.”

“Mr Kim-”

“He can’t find out,” you started suddenly, sitting up in the bed your head going dizzy momentarily. The doctor helped you lie back down. “He can’t find out, not yet at least,” you kept talking.

The doctor nodded reassuringly. “I know, I know. Unfortunately, Mr Kim has a very bad attitude when it comes to women in his office.”

“You said you would tell him about my blood results. However, I do not agree. It is personal information about my health and it is something that has yet to be processed.” You went silent, thinking hard. You sighed. “I have to tell my boyfriend as well.”

“Is he the father? The gentleman that came earlier?”

You nodded. “Yes, he is.”

The doctor smiled. “He is not opposed, I suppose? He was rather endearing with you.”

You finally nodded. “He very much wants a child.”

“Good. I’m sure this will be wonderful news for him then. Please, stay 5 more minutes and you are free to go. I will not keep him from you any longer than that.”

“Thank you.”

“Any morning sickness?” he went back to acquisition.

“No, not yet. Only the dizziness and tiredness. I don’t really have an appetite.”

The doctor nodded. “Yes, that could be very much possible. However, simple food and fruit must be part of your daily menu even if you do not feel like eating. Drinking lots of water is an understatement.” He gave you a strict look. “If there is anything, you need to come to me right away, alright?”

You nodded, smiling wider.

It was around 9pm when you finally reached home, the early night giving you slight chills as the sun’s presence was missing. Your hand was intertwined with Baekhyun’s tightly, not wanting to let go even for a second.

As you reached your apartment, he typed in the code and opened the door for you, letting you in first. “Do not do anything without my supervision, missy.”

You chuckled tiredly and made a beeline to the bathroom. “Let me pee first, will you?”

He smiled. “You should shower, I will prepare the bed in the meantime. Actually no, do not shower, we will do that together,” he said in his hapkido master voice.

You turned to look at him. “A bit eager, aren’t we? You will have to wait though, as I need to tell you something.”

“Right, explaining what the hell happened back there.”

You sighed. “Baekhyun, I really do have something to say.”

Baekhyun stopped in front of you, taking your face into his warm hands. How could they be so warm when you just came from the outside? “We have a lot to discuss, sweetheart. But I do wish to see you first showered and in your pyjamas to be comfortable. And we can talk the night away,” he pecked you on the lips lovingly.

Before he could completely pull away, you raised to your tippy toes, crashing your lips with his, needing more than a simple peck, be it filled with love as much as he wanted, it wasn’t enough.

Baekhyun responded right away, once again reaching for your face, his fingers resting just under your ears, angling your face so he could get a better access. This made you moan silently, your body pushing into his. You opened your mouth for him, needing him more in you. Your hands now around his neck pressed him into you, to which he responded with a low growl, his hands leaving your face to sneak around your waist.

“Angel,” he muttered breathlessly, “not now.”

You were breathing heavily, almost sexually and it took all in him to pull away. “I love you, Baekhyun.”

His eyes that were dark with lust softened. “I love you much more.” He kissed you longingly before finally pulling away, giving your butt a gentle tap. “Shower. Now.”

“Join me?” you asked cheekily. Licking your lips that were glistening from your and his saliva made his eyes snap to your mouth. “Please. You said we would shower together.”

“I will come as soon as I finish,” he insisted.

“Baekhyun, it can wait,” you whined, grabbing his hand and dragging him with you to the bathroom. “You start the shower, I have to pee.” You barely finished, already starting your job as he took off his shirt with a laugh.

It was wonderful how you were so comfortable that you didn’t mind doing a business like peeing in front of him. Neither was he ever uncomfortable with you, but then again, it was Baekhyun. Baekhyun stepped out of his pants and underwear, starting the water and adjusting the temperature for you. You finished, flushing and taking off your clothes. You barely managed to step out of your office skirt and panties when he reached for you, strongly pulling you towards his naked chest, making you yelp and laugh. His laugh followed, its loudness bumping off of the small space, making your heart flutter as he hugged you tightly. Gently pulling back, he maneuvered you under the warm stream of water before he kissed you passionately. You smiled into his mouth.

Oh, yes. This was it.

This was the sole reason why things were happening the way they happened. You were meant to be together. You were meant to start a family, whether intentionally or not. You were pregnant.

With Baekhyun.

He would be the father of your child.

And you would be the mother of his child.

Feeling his skin flush against yours made you whimper, the water mingling in your mouths. “Baekhyun,” you whispered quickly before he could dive in for another session. “Baekhyun, honey,” you grabbed his face in your hands, panting.

He opened his eyes, pressing his forehead to yours as the water was streaming down his handsome face. The intent gaze was telling you he was listening to whatever you had to share with him, the squeeze he gave your waist was to ensure you you were safe with him.

This was it.

You sighed, closing your eyes. “Im pregnant. That’s why… That’s why I fainted today. I guess my body was a bit under pressure and-”

“You’re what?” he whispered, loud enough for your to hear.

From his face, you dragged your hands behind his head where you crossed your arms. “I am pregnant,” you repeated, each word clearly. “I’m in the sixth week.”

Was that a good reaction? He seemed to be shocked. Taken aback.

Baekhyun stared at you for a good moment before letting out a sigh. “You are not joking, right?”

You shook your head, trying to hide the scare and possible disappointment in case he wouldn’t want the child anymore.

“Oh my god,” he let out, burying his face in your neck as he squeezed your body once again, this time keeping the pressure on. “Oh. My. God.”

You giggled, playing with his wet hair at the back of his neck. “Is that a good reaction, darling?”

He gave your neck an open mouth kiss, making you close your eyes as you giggled. “It is fucking amazing, Y/N. Shit,” he pulled away looking into your eyes. “It’s real.”

You nodded. “Yes, you will be a father. For real.”

Finally, he let out a high-pitched scream, and raised you from the ground before making one whole circle with you as he laughed. Once he put you down, he became serious. “But Y/N, are you okay with it? We didn’t plan it,” he trailed off, pushing your wet hair out of your face.

You pressed your lips together before replying: “I always had one solid dream, Baekhyun,” you started, looking up at him. “And that was to start a family. And I always envisioned that family with you. Only you. Does that answer your question?”

He didn’t respond, instead leaning in to peck your lips. “I think my only luck in my life was that the heavens sent me you,” he whispered, lips touching yours. “You are my everything. And now the little one, too.” Another peck. “Thank you, my princess, you are amazing.”

You snorted a laugh. “It wouldn’t have been possible without you,” you said as if saying a thank you speech at an awards ceremony.

He laughed. “Teamwork is the crucial part of loving, right?”

“Right. So please, wash my back, would you?”

Kissing your nose, he nodded reaching for the shower gel. “Whatever you wish for, my princess.”

a/n: Well, the news are out, but still too many questions left unanswered. Why was Baekhyun acting off? What about the boss? Is chasing your dream of a family actually that simple…?

If you read all the way here, Im very much thankful! Comments are much, much appreciated! x

#baekhyun #Baekhyun AU #baekhyun fluff #exo imagine #baekhyun family au #bbh #exo #exowriting #baekhyun fic #my writings #fanfic #ff #kpop fluff #kpop au #kpop fanfic

146 notes · View notes

spnwriter · 4 years

Text

Not in the way I want you to

A/N: trigger warning, there is some self hate in this, bad family life. For the record, you are loved <3

The alternate version of us called. When they jumped the riff someone else jumped over too. The other Sam told us about her, her name is Salem. She's part demon and a witch of great power highly dangerous and they asked us to help them track her down. The other Dean informed us that this Salem girl is a hard catch, she crafty. It took us a while but we found her. She was hiding out in a motel that was warded against everything including magic. She's smart, she jammed every camera she walked by, changed cars often and even paid cash for her room. The only way we found her is because she left a body behind, not an innocent like I expected it was a demon that was after her. Something about this whole thing didn't sit right with me. Salem was in the back seat, passed out and cuffed.

“Something about this not sitting right with you?” Dean asks glancing at me briefly.

“I was thinking the same thing,” I replied glancing at the small girl in the backseat. She's so young, I think looking at her. She was so beaten up when we caught her, she fought like hell; she wasn't an easy nab. If she hadn't hesitated to kill us we wouldn't have been able to grab her. “She hesitated to kill us...that doesn't seem like an all-powerful demon witch.”

The conversation stopping after that, we arrive back at the bunker. I gently pick Salem up carrying her to the dungeon placing her in the chair. I make sure that she wouldn't be able to get out. The other us, stood before her as she wakes up. Her Y/C/E glance up at us. She smirks looking at the other us.

“Salem.” the other Dean says looking down at her.

“Hello brothers.” Salem smiles sarcastically.

“Brothers?” I ask looking at the other version of us. They don't make eye contact instead they scowl at the young girl before them.

She laughs “You didn't tell them...of course you didn't tell them! Glad to see that I'm still the Winchester disgrace even in another universe.”

“We need to talk.” Dean's voice booms, he's angry I can hear it.

How could they not tell us she was our sister? Wait, that means that dad slept with a demon...and she's a witch? I wonder where she picked that up? I mean from the sounds of things she didn't grow up with us or rather them. She said she was the family disgrace. Probably because Dad was so ashamed she had a kid with a demon. She was alone. She grew up the way we did. I can see it in her eyes, the weight of worlds on her shoulders. She's seen some things, been through some things. The other us meet us in the hall.

“What the hell.” Dean 1 says “Why didn't you tell us she was our sister?”

“Because she's not.” Dean 2 shrugs “She's a mistake.”

“That's not for you to say.” I snapped looking at the pair.

“She's too dangerous to exist. We'd tried to kill her for a long time but she didn't give us the chance.” Sam 2 explains

“Again that isn't for you to say.” I frown “She's a person, she hasn't done anything to deserve to die.”

“You don't know that.” Dean 2 frowns

“Alright, tell us what she did to deserve to die and if we agree I'll kill her myself.” Dean 1 says arms crossed.

Salem's P.O.V

I can hear them talking in the hall. I know my brothers are trying to convince themselves in this universe that I deserve to die. They've been trying to kill me since they found out about me. I'll admit Dad did do an amazing job hiding me for a very long time. I was the mistake, everyone who knew about me knew that. I wasn't suppose to happen. I hear my family lie to them telling them how I killed many in our universe. I cast my eyes down knowing that they'd buy it. I had a decent life, saved many people hunting on my own. There isn't a point in running any longer, I'd been doing it all my life; it's time to accept my fate. At least my death comes at the hands of someone I know and not a monster. I hear heavy boot steps walking towards me, I dare not look up. It isn't until I feel a familiar tingle of grace wash over me that I look up into ocean blue eyes. Castiel.

He looks at me with his head tilted slightly, trying to weigh what he's been told. I relax under his gaze as I open my mind to him. It's nothing new having Cas wander around my brain. I trusted the angle with my whole life. He's the reason I made it as long as I did. He was sent to kill me but in true Castiel fashion he rebelled to save me. He always said that I was destined to save another universe; I didn't know what he meant until now. I could feel Cas walking around my head, looking at memories, seeing the lies I've told, the things I've done, the people I've saved and the relationship we had. He says nothing as he turns and walks out of the room.

Whereas before I could hear the conversation taking place outside the doors of where I'm chained to the chair, now I can't. I can hear mumbles as my brothers, the other Winchester's and Cas talk. Voices raise slightly as I hear my Dean argue with what was being said. I hear him tell them trusting me was a mistake and that'd I'd get them killed. I hear angry footsteps walking away from the door. I assume my brothers left. Castiel is the first thing I see. His facial expression softens as he looks at me. The other Sam and Dean follow behind him.

Dean sits in a chair before me “We need to talk.”

“I'll answer anything,” I replied looking over at Cas.

“You know Cas?” Sam asks

I nod “He um...he was sent to kill me a long time ago.”

“From your memory, I didn't. I rebelled for you.” Cas says

“What happened between your brothers and you?” Sam asks looking at me as I fidget in my chair.

“Well, they didn't know I even existed for a long time. Dad did an amazing job hiding his mistake. They figured it out because John thought by throwing money at me made him a father. He had Sam look at the books and when he saw that dad had given a large check to some woman, They did some digging. Found out about me and well, have hated me and tried to kill me ever since.” I explain

“Wait, so let me get this straight. They didn't know they had a sister and when they found out they tried to kill you?” Dean inquires leaning forward in his chair.

“And had other hunters try as well.” I sigh looking down as I remember the way they treated me. “I mean, I am half demon so maybe it's warranted.”

“I don't think it is. I've seen your memories...you have saved a lot of people.” Cas replies

“There was a time when you wouldn't agree with that.” I smile at the angle

“Now we do.” Dean informs “Listen, I don't think you're as dangerous as they say. So I'm going to let you go.”

Sam unlocks the cuffs giving me a soft smile. I roll my wrists trying to get the feeling back in them. I can feel Cas watching me as I stand stretching. His eyes following my every move. I know he saw the love I held for my universe Castiel. The sadness that I never got the chance to tell him, it just never felt like the right time until it was too late. He's the reason I'm alive and here, he pushed me into the rip just as the universe exploded. He sacrificed himself for me.

This universes Sam and Dean invited me to stay at the bunker claiming that I'm family. I tried to decline but Cas wouldn't let me, he said yes for me. I didn't think it should be their responsibility to take care of me, I am after all not their blood. I was the Winchester mistake, I shouldn't even be alive, to begin with. They shouldn't have let me live. I still don't understand why they are so kind to me. In the first couple of weeks, the brothers made sure to be extra kind to make me feel at home. I spent most of my time in my room, not wanting to be a burden on the pair. They assured me that I wasn't but, I knew better. Dean would drop by with plates of food, he'd sit in my room and eat with me. Sam would bring by movies or books he thought I'd enjoy. Cas, he was the kindest. Whenever I found myself deep in the pit of self-loathing he'd appear. He never felt the need to say anything, he was just present when I needed him.

I was finally starting to get comfortable around the brothers. They made things easy, no pressure was put on me to hunt, conversation wasn't always needed, and most importantly they acted like they cared. Things were going well and suddenly, the negative thoughts hit me out of left field. I was unprepared for the body slam into the boards. I hadn't seen Cas this week at all. While he isn't my Cas, he was similar. Having the angle around calmed my anxiety better than anything I had ever experienced. I knew it was going to get bad when I woke up this morning but I tried to push through it. By the midday it had started to get loud but by the time the night rolled around it became too loud to ignore. I went to 'bed' early tonight. I turned my lights off and laid on the floor in my room. My mind began reeling.

I don't deserve the second chance I've been given.

They aren't my brothers, they can't care.

My blood hates me how can these guys love me?

I bet they think I'm a burden

They must regret letting me live here.

I don't do enough

If I was enough they own family wouldn't hate me

If I was human, they'd love me

Castiel will never love me back

The sound of wings fluttering breaks me out of my thoughts. I look over at my bedroom door to see Cas standing there already looking at me laid out on the floor.

“What are you doing on the floor?” He asks head tilted slightly. I love it when he does that.

“It's calming,” I answer observing the beautiful angle before me.

He doesn't say anything but lays on the floor beside me. His arms pressed against mine he hesitantly takes my hand in his. He's unexpectedly warm I think as I turn my head to face him. His blue eyes staring into my soul. He's in my head, I can feel him. He's not roaming around like the first time he did it, he's just comforting. His true form is washing over me from the inside out. Reassuring me that what my brain says isn't true. No words spoken out loud but I can understand what he's telling me. I'm unsure of when he moved us to my bed but, suddenly the softness of my mattress surrounds me. He's closer this time, pulling me into his side, wrapping his arms around me. This is new. He's ever been this close to me before. He seems shy in his touch as he tries to work out where to put his hands as he has me pressed against his chest. I gently take his forearm guiding him to rest it on my hip, letting him know I'm comfortable under his touch. The room stays silent as his voice begins filling my head

I heard your thoughts today. I felt them overwhelm you. I want you to know they are not true. Sam and Dean do love you like you're their sister, they do not regret inviting you into their life neither do I. It isn't your fault your family in your universe did not love you. That's their problem. You are an amazing person. I knew that you'd be a good addition to the family the second you let me into your mind. I saw it all. The Winchester fight you have in you. The way you light up a room with a smile, you bring happiness into this family that we haven't had in a long time. We all love you... I love you.

I couldn't stop my mind from replying. 'but not in the way I want you to love me' Cas's eyes widen at the admission. And just like that I'd ruined our friendship. I frown as he stares at me with wide eyes. He's processing the information he'd just been given. I can tell he doesn't understand what I mean. He doesn't say anything he just holds me tight.

In the morning Cas is long gone. I didn't expect him to stay, he doesn't sleep. I'm sure he left when I'd fallen asleep.

Cas' P.O.V

I don't know how to respond to what she had just thought. I don't think I was meant to hear it. By the way she's looking at me I can tell she fears she's ruined everything. I don't want her to worry about it so I just hold her closer trying to comfort her in any way I can as I try to process the information I'd just been given. When she fell asleep I couldn't bring myself to move. She looks so peaceful, her breath is even, her eyelashes resting on the tops of her cheek. I brush her hair away from her face gently as she snuggles deeper into me. I stay for as long as I can, I need to talk to Dean about what Y/N said to me.

When I hear Dean awake I gently move her to lay on her own. She makes a sound of protest in her sleep as I let her go. A smile works its way onto my face. She's so beautiful is the last thought I think as I walk through her door.

Dean is sat at the kitchen drinking coffee. I sit before him as he looks up.

“Hey Cas. Didn't hear you come in.”

“I came over last night,” I reply

Dean raises his eyebrows as I sigh “I was with Salem,she needed me...she thought something last night I have to ask you about.”

“Okay,” Dean replies setting his new paper down.

“Well she was having the negative thoughts again. I came over to calm her because they were overwhelming her. I told her that we all loved her, that I loved her and she thought ' not in the way I want you to'”

Before I could continue talking Dean smiles at me.

“Dude, she feels the same as you. We've talked about your feelings for her before. She wants you to love you in a different way than Sam and I do.”

“She...she.” I couldn't wrap my head around it. She feels the same. She wants me to love her romantically and not in a family way. I knew from the second she let me in her head that I'd fall for this amazing woman. I need to talk to her, to tell her I feel the same. To hold her close like I had last night.

“Go talk to her,” Dean says as I stand quickly.

I walk to her room knocking lightly.

“Come in.” Her voice calls. I open the door to find her right where I had left her. She's laying in bed with a smile on her face when she sees me.

“Hey Cas, I thought you'd be long gone by now.”

“I didn't want to leave you,” I admit walking over to her. I sit on the bed beside her. Her Y/C/E scan my face, she's thinking the same thing I am. How beautiful the person I'm looking at is. Being this close to her it's hard to not hear her thoughts. She's always louder than anyone else. She smiles sleepily at me as I gently brush back some of her hair. I don't know how to tell her that I feel the same. Do I say it? Do I show her? Would kissing her be too much? I rest my hand on her cheek, she leans into my touch. At that moment I know exactly how to tell her.

I love you.

She smiles as I slowly lean down to brush my lips against hers. She leans up to close the gap. Her lips soft. She sits up resting her hands on my waist. I pull away looking into her eyes as she responds

I love you too Cas.

#supernatural imagine #castiel imagine #dean winchester imagine #sam winchester imagine

17 notes · View notes

darkestwolfx · 4 years

Text

Fight or Flight - Re-Review #38

The perfect scenery for an episode which is taking it’s title from an old saying relating to the natural instincts of animals and humans - the fight or fight instinct; whether you stay and hold your ground (a little like Kayo), or whether you try and run in fear of your life (I can imagine Gordon having to do this quite often when he is caught pranking his brothers). Oh, but did we mention, it’s actually in the air? Yeah, it took two minutes to get to that point!

So, because this episode darts around all over the place, I’m doing this review (again) in sections according to character and storyline, because I like everything to be all neat and tidy, okay? I’m thinking of all of you here by giving you ease of access to a complicated and jam packed episode - you should be thanking me.

Also, I will apologise in advance now for the fact that this review is mostly picture based - literally I think this section here is the wordiest of all.

So, moving away from the ominous cargo hold, which is no doubt bound to be full of idiots - because let’s face it, that is just the way that things work in TAG - let’s start with the fact that we are opening in space again! Yay, John’s domain. And the scenery is pretty damn right on this one. I love how if you look really carefully you can make out the different shapes of the continents below.

And here we have a space spider - someone call Gordon and Alan, it’s an alien! Oh wait, no, hang up, it’s only Brains. A rather nervous Brains - obviously the ‘flight’ part behind the title of this episode. It’s nice to see him up in (or on) Thunderbird Five again. It happened in TOS in ‘The Cham-Cham’.

“I’m just having a little trouble adjusting to being weightless.”

“It was the same for me when I started. You get used to it.”

But of course, they can’t even manage to do repairs and maintenance without something coming there way!

“Your databases are offline because I started a systems check. It’s ok, I backed everything up onto MAX.”

“Atta boy, MAX.”

Thank goodness for MAX, ey?

And here’s the situation;

“A cargo carrier experienced a missives systems failure. The ship is on a crash course for Anderbad City.”

Anderbad City first appeared in the TOS episode ‘Perils of Penelope’, with Anderbad being a play on Gerry and Sylvia Anderson’s surname. It was given notable features such as the Anderbad Tunnel and the Anderbad Express, but it was never shown in full. TAG have added a Flight Control Tower, so we can assume that Anderbad is a big city with travel at the centre.

So, here we go, I thought I’d go back to the cargo hold first which is a little backwards I know, but I’m doing it because... just because okay? Reviewers choice.

Run for your lives! The machinery is striking back!

Scott nearly getting hit and then running back for the flight deck is absolutely hilarious.

“We have a new problem.”

And I won’t deal with that part, I’ll choose to fly the zeppelin, is probably what Scott was thinking. Because, yes, that option seems so much better!

“Looks like we’ll need that back up, Kayo.”

It was probably a good thing that she was ready and waiting in this instance, because Scott couldn’t have done that much multitasking, great though he is.

“How are you guys doing in there?”

“Oh you know, just playing hide and seek with a giant bone crushing claw. You know, no big deal.”

Yeah, you’re right, the bigger deal is that you might die anyway, so playing hide and seek is probably the least of your worries right about now. In fact, that might be preferable depending on your viewpoint. At least that might be marginally more entertaining than sitting and waiting for death to come.

“How does a giant, mechanical loading claw take it’s tea?”

“I don’t know.”

“With a pinch of sugar.”

“That’s the worst joke I’ve ever heard.”

I have to admit, I’m with her on that one. Who even thought that joke up! And who heard that joke and then thought ‘hey, that’s a good one to go in the script!’ I didn’t even laugh, I will be perfectly honest.

“Don’t worry. I’ll get them out.”

“Why would I worry?”

Hmm, maybe because it’s a life threatening situation? Just hazarding a guess here.

Kayo should be happy anyway - she got to show off her bad-guy chasing gymnastic skills, even if it was only against machinery.

“International Rescue. Time to go. Follow me!”

“You’re kidding right?”

“No, I’m pretty serious.”

“We can’t jump and flip around like you just did!”

No, I don’t imagine you can.

“I’ll distract the claw so you can make a run for it.”

Literally the point of this episode, isn’t it? Running for it?

I have a theme song for it - look up ‘Run for It’ by (you won’t regret it).

“Where does that lead?”

“Emergency exit.”

“This definitely qualifies as an emergency.”

Hell yes, I would think it does!

“Kayo, you need to get out.”

“Great idea, Scott, thanks for the suggestion!”

No need to be sarcastic - he’s just looking out for you, remember?

As a side note, look at the robot! I want one... I bet its more environmentally friendly than my car.

“The ship’s loosing altitude faster than my projections. But why?”

“It looks like the liquid hydrogen fuel cells have cracked open.”

“And I’m guessing that’s bad?”

Yes, Scott, that’s bad.

“The tanks keep the fuel isolated. but if an electrical fire starts on impact, you’ll get what we scientists call a big ka-boom. Which is also what my insides feel like.”

“What’s the time frame?”

“John says I’ll feel better once I get used to zero gravity.”

“I think he means before the zeppelin crashes.”

“Oh right. Factoring in altitude, wind speed, ship weight, adjusting for cargo, and letting x equal the rate of fuel loss, we get... oh my!”

“Scott, you’re gonna’ need to move. Fast.”

“FAB. And Brains, that means feel better soon.”

Yeah... that conversation gets me every time. They never said how fast Scott needed to move, but hey, it’s okay, because he listened. Considering the zeppelin appeared seconds later.

“Thunderbird two could nudge the ship and change course that way.”

Of course that is the first suggestion that Scott comes up with. Just shove it out the way and be done with it. Good plan.

“I would strongly caution against that. Those leaking fuel cells could easily rupture.”

Or not.

“Ka-boom, got it. Ok, I’m gonna’ need to get on board. Maybe I can regain some control of this thing.”

Yay, we get to see Scott pilot a zeppelin! That’s a change.

“Hey, Virgil, just taking a little air!”

“I’ve got Thunderbird One slaved to my controls.”

Yeah... because a line like that always means good things are coming. I love how Virgil at least knew what it meant - take Thunderbird One.

“All systems critical. We’re on auxiliary power with almost no altitude control or steering. I can’t risk landing with that fuel leak. I’m gonna’ point her down and bail out. She’ll crash safely into the lake before reaching the city.”

You can’t say something like that without expecting trouble.

“Crash course set, ready to bail out.”

“Hello? Anyone there? We’re stuck! We can’t get out! Trapped!”

“Hello? Can you hear me? John, did you get that? I thought everyone was off this ship?”

“Me too. Hang on. The numbers don’t match. They messed up their count.”

Great! And so we revert to the cargo hold, which I’ve already covered.

“Do we have time to get the crew out before we reach the city?”

“Negative. You’re gonna’ have to fly over the city, and bring it down in the open countryside on the other side.”

“We’ll never make it. We’re still losing height.”

“If you offload 90% of the fuel, there’s a chance you’ll be light enough to make it over the city.”

A chance? I suppose we have to take it because there’s no other option really.

“Ok, I’ll keep flying. Virgil, you start pumping out that fuel.”

Yeah, because that will buy us lots of non-existent time! At least it’s better than nothing.

“Oh, it’s going to be tight.”

“Tight, but we should make it tight? Or John’s space suit tight?”

“I don’t know if I know how to answer that question in a way that’s reassuring.”

“Space suit tight.”

Scott’s doing a really good job of flying under pressure here, I would just like to say.

“I think it should be enough.”

“You think or you know?”

“I think I know.”

Very reassuring Brains. I feel very non-reassured.

“That should do it, Scott.”

“Got to be sure.”

“Now, Scott, get out!”

Listen to John, for goodness sake, Scott.

Fly for your lives! There’s an explosion!

You know, Wolfie definitely understands the reason for this episode title now. They were being really clever - well done Dan Berlinka.

In my opinion, this is one of the closest calls that they’ve showed us, and I really appreciated that. TOS did it a few times in ‘City of Fire’ and ‘Danger at Ocean Deep’ (I’m talking proper close calls here, because I know there are many near misses), and TAG have done it quite often with Gordon, but this one was a really nice show of skill and panic, and absolute expertise at the end of it all.

“Yes! He made it!”

Hooray! We’ve succeeded! Let’s all go home!

After a hug... but maybe remember to not hug John... he looks like he’s feeling a little awkward there, Brains.

“Nice work everyone. We limited the damage at Anderbad city to one billboard.”

That poor billboard. But yes, successful.

And look what’s waiting at home!

I was wondering where Gordon and Alan had got to... “on a supply run”... yeah right, who’s great idea was that. They only have themselves to blame for what the boys bring back. Interestingly, they never said where Scott and Alan were at the end of the last episode (and I was waiting for that), so it was nice to actually see the pair pop up right at the end.

“Hey guys!”

“How was the supply run?”

“Routine. But wait till you see what me and Alan picked up at an antiques store on the way back.”

“It’s the same game John used to play all the time.”

A nice little reference back to ‘Skyhook’ here. Continuity at it’s best.

“You grab prizes with the claw!”

Yes, we do have eyes, thank you, Alan.

“Who wants to go first?”

Cue mass exodus of the lounge... And a tumbleweed to roll through in the wake of it all. (Actually, could some one get me a tumbleweed please? I feel like my cat would appreciate it. Shes called Munchies, by the way.)

“What did I say?”

“We should have brought some prizes.”

This is funny, because Alan probably said that, and Gordon probably ‘ignored’ him.

“Oh, claw machine needs prizes!”

“No wonder they didn’t want to play!”

I don’t think that was quite it, but hey, let’s not disappoint them anymore. Look at Gordon’s face.

P.S. This ended up more wordy and longer than I had expected! I’ve outdone myself for midnight pieces of work (and a very dodgy internet connection).

13 notes · View notes

ofangelos · 5 years

Text

folds hands. i........... gave angel a mini revamp but that’s like towards the end if u’ve already read alla dis uhhh i needed to update this with the new app format anyways so HERE U GO !

shawn mendes. cis male. he/him. ／ angelos almeida just pulled up blasting that’s a lot by g-eazy— that song is so them! you know, for a twenty-one year old rapper / dealer, i’ve heard they’re really dishonest, but that they make up for it by being so ambitious. if i had to choose three things to describe them, i’d probably say cuban links, a smile so bright it blinds you, and dimly lit rooms. here’s to hoping they don’t cause too much trouble!

he was born in mykonos, greece to the ceo of the philip-morris tobacco distribution company. when i say angel is rich, i mean angel is riiiiich. his family is worth over 120 billion dollars. angel grew up with a silver spoon in his mouth, and has never ever ever dreamed of having anything less.

to better understand angel, u guys need to better understand the almeidas as a family. in my first intro, i sorta??? brushed over the fact but i’ve come to realize that they’ve had a huge impact on his psyche and his morals and everything??

to put it in short… have y’all seen dynasty on netflix? blake carrington is basically just… angel’s father. the carrington dynamic is the almeida’s dynamic to a t.

okay, being in charge of such a huge company that not only ruled tobacco distribution, but own 6 major cigarette brands that reach every single continent in the world meant that angel’s father hardly had time for him. it was only business with him. if he wasn’t at the office, he was cheating on angel’s mother - it was a habit the whole family knew about. it was no surprise. angel’s never been good at relationships because he experienced infidelity his whole life. his idea of love was really messed up at a young age.

but yes ! his parents never paid him any mind. his father was far too busy with work, and his mother was far too busy going out with other men to bother paying angel any attention

angel was essentially just raised by nannies, and they weren’t awful to him at all. they were dope and super nice to him? but he still managed to build up a resentment towards them because he didn’t have enough time to experience his parents and build up a resentment towards the people who actually deserved it

angel had a lot of pressure for him to do well in school - he was supposed to step up and be the ceo of one of the most powerful companies in the world one day, after all - so he constantly had tutors rolling in and out of his house to make sure he was the best and brightest he could be! he never got to go have play-dates and be a normal kid because his father was so focused on prepping 7-year-old angel to be a ceo. that’s all he was to his father - another him.

when angel’s father did make the time to see angel, it was never for good reason.

angel used to be?? so upset about not being able to spend time with his father?? but as time went on, it clicked in his head that he was only relevant to his father when he was doing something wrong / bad, so he hated when his father made meetings with him

u read that correctly – meetings. angel stopped seeing daddy dearest at home when he was about 11. after that, it was pure business. he’d have to schedule an appointment with him just like anyone else. because being his father’s son was just a title - it didn’t actually mean anything. he was just another person.

tw: mental abuse anyways ! these meeting never went well for angel because all they were was an opportunity for his father to let out his pent-up frustrations about everything on his son. angel could miss one question on an exam, and boom – meeting ! he was essentially his father’s outlet. and at first it was just mental abuse - yelling at angel about how stupid he was, or how he’d never amount to anything, or how he was ruining the almeida legacy

which made angel feel terrible about himself?? i mean… duh … but like… he couldn’t do the /one thing/ he’s basically been trained like a fucking dog to do his entire life ??? he couldn’t just be perfect and it killed him??? because he tried so, so, so, so, so hard to come as close as possible

it’s not the typical acted-out-for-attention. eventually, angel learned that he didn’t want the attention because it was only ever negative. he acted wonderfully and tried to be the best he could possibly be to keep his father away from him

tw: domestic abuse, tw: abuse eventually, just yelling at angel wasn’t enough to express his anger, and his father fell into an awful awful habit where, whenever angel did anything to piss him off, he’d light a cigarette and then jab it onto angel’s arm and let it burn. angel has little circle scars up and down his arms that he’s tried to cover up with tattoos from this

angel always read in books or saw on tv that families were supposed to love and support each other, so he just assumed ??? that this was what love was like?? that it was tough all the time and sometimes cruel??? so he has a very twisted image of family and relationships and love and all of that

he has a very inflated perspective of self-importance because, in greece, he just is that important. he’s as close to royalty as you can get without actually being a king or a prince. his family essentially has a monopoly over the entire country when it comes to property and business, so, of course, the almeidas are well known. they’re the kardashians of greece without the hit tv show. they never showed their lives because they put up a beautiful facade of a happy family running a billion dollar business, when really, they were as messed up as they came

new stuff !!!!!!!!

he ended up going to columbia university to study business straight out of high school. but it wasn’t only to cement the fact that he’d be running an empire one day--- it was to expand business.

tw: drugs you see, when you run a multi-billion dollar company and have such a large sway on greek politics as the almeida’s do, it’s very easy to hide things. those things being a sprawling drug cartel right under everyone’s noses. perfectly masked by the huge profit their ‘facade’ company makes. and if you find out too much, you’d be sorry that you did

haha that last sentence was so dramatic huh

okay ANYWAYS he put on a show to be ‘normal, cool guy’ angel :) not doing anything wrong #swag just studying, being on the track team, being all smart n #cute

tw: drugs but at parties ? he was drug lord almeida. everyone knew to hit him up, but nobody really knew where this was coming from. thought he was just some rich kid who fell off the rails a little bit and started selling for extra pocket cash. but nope ! he’s helping his father run his business with the rest of his people in new york

it’s real classy shit tho no dealing to sketchy people on the street he has people who do that angel’s too pretty for that. he caters to the upper class because they trust him because he’s one of them. and he’ll give u ur bag of shit with a beautiful smile on his face, prim and proper as ever

o he graduated just last year with a degree in business and now he’s basically running the cartel overseas here for his dad to prove himself or whateva he’s dumb

but he’s covering it up by making music blah blah blah u know that his vc is g-eazy thank u *blows kiss*

give me some of his clients

ok thanks

more hookups

ok thanks for reading i love u all <3

#drugs tw #abuse tw #domestic abuse tw #crime tw #??#excessintro #ooc

5 notes · View notes

rubyslipperscollective · 6 years

Text

we’ve got spirit - an exploration of varsity pep from a cheerleader’s perspective

**an essay from my english class senior year of high school. i reflect on my experiences as a cheerleader (an activity which is no longer in any way congruent with my identity) and on the culture of athletics in my high school**

“And now, please rise for the playing of our national anthem.”

It’s my first ever away game––Friday night lights. Sweaty hand gripping pom-pom, pom-pom pressed against my heart, heart racing. I don’t remember what town we were playing, but it was far. Our buses got lost on the way there; the ride was long. Really long. Long enough for the seniors to get drunk in the back of the bus.

I was 14 years old, 93 pounds, and a terrible cheerleader. I knew nothing about how to balance in the air or support another girl in a pyramid. Thankfully, I had three experienced seniors as my bases. Not thankfully, they were all wasted.

The girls who were seniors when I was a freshman were pretty and mean: just how cheerleaders are meant to be. They treated freshman (particularly the ones who sucked at cheerleading, namely me) as essentially sub-human. At the first captain’s practice, one of the captains insulted my ability to dance until I cried. Probably two weeks later, a different, particularly unkind senior commented that I “looked like a slug” when I was in the air stunting.

The seniors were in charge. They were popular and I was not. They could be as mean as they wanted and there was simply nothing that could be done about it. After they graduated, we no longer had older, more popular cheerleaders to torment us, so Cougar Nation (as our fan section has titled themselves) stepped in.

The student section hates their cheerleaders, treating us about as inhumanely as those seniors did. I’ve been told it has always been this way, but in reality it must have all started when the football team tanked. Four consecutive seasons without a win, including my freshman and sophomore year, are bound to make cheerleaders seem annoying. Any cheer with the word “victory” in it immediately serves as a joke with that kind of losing record. My first ever Cougar Night was a Saturday night home game. We lost 65-0 and a drunken high schooler threw a soft pretzel at me.

Each time I trekked onto the track I was focused less on pep than I was on an internal pep-talk. It’s not personal. They aren’t booing because they hate you, Dani, they’re booing because they hate the cheerleaders as an entity.

But even once the football team was on the rise––nearly winning a state title in my junior year––love for the cheerleaders never seemed to catch on.

The cheerleaders that we see on TV and read about in books are never like me. They always feel loved by their fan sections; they are always confident and popular. I didn’t go into cheerleading looking for confidence and popularity––I went into it because I have a lot of spirit and I didn’t feel like throwing away twelve years of dance classes––but the confidence would have been nice, at least. So it didn’t make sense to me, with all these ideas of what cheerleaders are supposed to feel like, why I would walk away from every game feeling more hated than the last.

I set out to analyze this phenomenon, and started by questioning why students wouldn’t cooperate with cheers even when we were winning games. There were a select few call-back cheers that a select few fans would participate in, but other than that, participation was sparse if present. There seemed to be no direct logic behind this, so my research required some deep plunging into the nature and culture of our varsity athletics. I started, most logically, with the Cougar Nation Facebook group.

The Cougar Nation Facebook group is a necessity for any sports fan in our high school, promoting the attendance and sportsmanship of students at all athletic events...kinda. By promoting attendance, I mean “you better fucking show up you fucking pieces of egg fart” (this is a real quote). By promoting sportsmanship I mean insulting other teams’ mascots, hygiene, and their sexual habits, as well as leading offensive/obscene chants against referees and specific players on opposing teams. And by all athletic events I mean only boys’ athletic events. And maybe a girls’ championship once in a while. At the end of each post they give “shoutouts” to people who, in the past week, have drank impressive amounts or hurt themselves in some idiotic way. Girls only receive shoutouts for instagram posts that expose notable amounts of their bodies.

The culture of our sports fans is to be as obnoxious as is humanly possible. In attending sporting events, they aim not to support student athletes, but rather is to piss off as many people as they can. The atmosphere they create is not conducive to the growth of anyone involved––student athletes cannot perform well under this kind of negative pressure, referees will make calls unfavorable to teams with abrasive fan sections, students who are not interested in drinking and/or being ridiculed by their peers feel excluded from the sports scene, and administrators face heat for having drunk and insufferable high schoolers on their hands.

Even though I was cheer captain this past year, I was never once made to feel invited or included in the promotion of school spirit by Cougar Nation. For this I am thankful. Over my four years as a CHS cheerleader, students’ behavior at athletic events has become something I am ashamed of. All four of my years, my spot for sideline cheers was the closest to the student section, and I essentially became the face of the cheerleaders as far as Cougar Nation was concerned...and never in my life have I held a more thoroughly embarrassing title. As a cheerleader during this past basketball season I was pointed and laughed at for trying to get the fan section to cheer along with the squad at a quarter. During the football season, in addition to being hit with a soft pretzel and a few other projectiles, I have been yelled at to pick up students’ dropped foodstuffs and water bottles (filled with anything but water) and called a number of unfavorable names based off of both my personality and appearance.

When I shout “Yell C-H-S!” into the crowd, nobody responds minus maybe a drunken fan screaming “No, bitch!” It’s not because they don’t like me and it’s not because I am doing a bad job––facts I have had to assure myself time and time again––but because our fans don’t come to the game for the athletes. They come to the game for themselves. Unlike other schools’ sports fans, who go to games to support their friends and express school pride, our sports fans have two alternative goals in showing up:

1. To get drunk (and, subgoal: to not get breathalyzed)

2. To get something entertaining on their Snapchat story.

Cougar Nation doesn’t treat their members nor their athletes with the respect that athletes or students or human beings in general deserve. Even though I moved the entire cheer squad down 30 feet to get the fan section involved on Cougar Night, and I got a surprisingly large number of people to shout with me, respect for the cheerleaders will never be there. There will always be someone rowdy enough to throw a soft pretzel at a freshman and then later demand that she pick up his bottle of vodka when he drops it. It is the nature of The Nation.

And, much like when I was a freshman taking blows from mean seniors, my position is a powerless one. The people who run the Cougar Nation group are popular, I am not. They have momentum––an entire student population––behind them, backing them up. I have only myself. I can’t ask that they cheer along with the words twenty girls are yelling at them when they won’t even allow girls to make posts in the Facebook group, and worse yet won’t advertise for girls’ athletic events. I can’t singlehandedly out-cheer fifteen boys, drunk and shirtless, screaming “bullshit” at referees in the basketball semi-finals. I can’t force conventional school spirit upon kids whose sole desire is to get drunk for Wednesday night baseball games. I can’t change people who don’t want to be changed.

Maybe this just wasn’t meant to be a school with the clean-cut, family-friendly school spirit I was hoping for when I signed up for cheerleading. Maybe our version of school spirit is in fact what all schools will eventually come to adopt––I mean, hey, we must be ranked first in the state for a reason, right? Maybe, someday, a freshman in a CHS cheer uniform will get hit with a soft pretzel and hope to change the ways of The Nation, just like me. And maybe, unlike me, she’ll figure out how to do it.

#essays #essay #cheerleading #cheer #athletics #high school #wow #this is not even me anymore lmao #still a pretty cool essay tho

6 notes · View notes

pulvisctumbra · 3 years

Photo

Through war and triumph (niklas hansen) rises, at (116) years old, serving as (corporal of the emergent) residing in (divine forest). They are a (guardian nymph) that resembles (scott eastwood). Upon meeting them, they are (reliable) and (persistent). Don’t be fooled, they can be (stubborn) and (possessive).

Full Name: Niklas Merrik Hansen Nickname(s): Nik Age: 116 Species: guardian nymph Powers: nature manipulation & divine weather manipulation Sexual Orientation: pansexual Romantic Orientation: panromantic Occupation: Corporal of the emergent

FAMILY

Mother: Svala Hansen Father: Adrik Hansen Siblings: Etta & Adrienne, younger sisters Extended Family: uncles

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

Hair Color: light brown Eye Color: blue Height: 6′ Distinguishing features:

PERSONALITY

Positive Traits: tolerant, reliable, charismatic, altruistic, natural leader, agreeable, intuitive, cooperative, honest, loyal, just, humble, energetic, dedicated. Negative Traits: overly idealistic, sensitive, indecisive, prone to self doubt, righteous, repressed, stubborn, possessive, impatient, prone to double standards. Values: he appreciates an order to things and has a strong sense of duty and justice. But he’s not that rigid in his beliefs and he values the same open mindedness in others too. Honesty is important to him too and he has no time for anyone he deems lazy or selfish. For all he enjoys praise, he doesn’t particularly like vanity or boastfulness in others either. Fears: fear being insignificant or a failure. He can’t help but chase praise and he always fears that there’ll be a time where he makes the wrong choice or his actions are no longer praiseworthy. He fears letting his parents down or failing to make them proud. Quirks: always has shirtsleeves rolled up, taps foot whilst sat, can fall asleep anywhere, always runs hot, usually orders the same thing, treats everything as a competition.

TESTS

Myers-Briggs: ENFJ-T, The Protagonist Enneagram: Type 3, The Achiever Temperament: Phlegmatic Alignment: lawful good

BIOGRAPHY

Born to Adrik and Svala Hansen and raised with the perfect balance of doting and room for independence, he had what he would consider a perfect childhood. Close to his parents and full of admiration for them, he felt proud to have been born into such a legacy.

As a child he dreamed of following in his parents’ footsteps and protect the Divine Forrest alongside them. He chose to train hard from a young age to ensure that he would be able to do so.

During his teenage years he began to struggle under the pressure that was mostly all of his own making. It caused doubts to enter his mind as to whether the military was truly the right fit for him or whether he’d spent his whole childhood simply convincing himself that it was where he was supposed to be.

Worry rose in his mind that he was making the wrong choice and so instead of putting himself forward for the Emergent Forces like he’d always planned to, he instead decided to take some time away from the Divine Forest and see what the rest of Luma Noua had to offer.

The first few months after leaving the homesickness almost made him want to turn back and return to the life that he felt meant for. But he persevered and spent time in each of the other realms, learning about the way they differed from his own and allowing some of his experiences to shape his world view. At times he put himself in guard positions or some other form of manual labour to get by.

Though he tried to spend several years in each realm, some captured his attention more than others but throughout it all there were still frequent visits made back to the Divine Forest, always happy to see his parents and those he’d left behind.

Along the way he easily made a host of friends and acquaintances, even falling in love (or lust) a few times too. But there was one who stood out in particular and having always admired his parent’s relationship he was pleased to have found someone he felt he could share his life with. They agreed to travel with him for some time before returning to their home with promises from him that he’d come back.

With his travelling coming to what he felt like was a natural end he had already begun making plans to return home with his partner later that year. But when he heard of the birth of his sisters and the difficulties of the birth, he returned home immediately to be of whatever help he could.

Once back he felt certain that it was where he was meant to be when nowhere else had come close to feeling like home. After experiencing a variety of different jobs he knew that the military was where he was meant to be and took his place as a member of the Emergent Forces alongside his father and eventually working his way up to corporal.

RELATIONSHIPS

Status: engaged Exes: tbd (open) Spouse/True Mate: Almira Kaya Current Partner: Almira Kaya Friends: tbd (open) Allies: tbd (open) Enemies: tbd (open)

#lmintro #niklas || the sun inside him rages like wildfire & could set kingdoms ablaze

0 notes

jonathan-nevermore-smith · 7 years

Text

Journal of a Recovering Dead Woman, Part 1

Three hours after incident: I am still not hungry, nor do I feel a need to rest or sleep. I remain as alert and active as ever. I almost wish I could go down to visit the training grounds, I feel a jog could help burn off some of this energy. This is a new feeling, wishing to be up and active. Before I had no issues remaining perfectly still for hours at a time. It was my default state of being. I could choose to exert myself, to shift my feet, my weight, to blink, to wiggle my fingers, but I chose to do it, I never had a desire to do so like I do now. This is not my choosing.

Three hours, thirty-four minutes after incident: Desire to jog or otherwise exert myself has calmed down somewhat. Still feel the need to be in motion, so I have set to tapping my foot against the floor. I wish I had something to do.

Three hours, thirty-four-and-a-half minutes after incident: Initiate mender scolded me for tapping my foot. It was annoying to him. Foot tapping has ceased, I am now following his suggestion that I twiddle my thumbs.

Three hours, thirty five minutes after incident: Same initiate has returned to ask why I am sitting in the infirmary when I appear uninjured. Per agreement with Caeliri and Elleynah, I explained that I was here under observation after an accident involving mind-control, though there was no cause for alarm. We spoke briefly about shadow magic and his experience healing the after-effects from it before he carried on with his duties. Surprisingly, I did not detect that he was uncomfortable through our conversation the way most living individuals usually are. Perhaps it is the healthier color to my skin?

Three hours, forty five minutes after incident: I have discovered the Initiate’s name is Jonathan. Not the same Jonathan as Initiate Callum, though I feel the two might get along. He is a half-blood, his father in Stormwind while his mother resides here in Quel’thelas. We spoke again briefly, his shift had just finished, and he politely brought me some water. Though I do not feel thirsty, nor does my throat feel dry, it is refreshing to partake of it. Before the incident my sense of taste was diminished severely, to the point where the strongest of flavors seemed weak against my tongue. Heat or the lack thereof was likewise difficult to determine. This no longer seems to be the case, though I have not partaken of food in order to thoroughly test this. I have made a request of the boy, to bring me part of a dish of his choice in the morning when he wakes.

Four hours, seventeen minutes after incident: I have attempted to write several letters explaining what happened to Feyrintha, but each and every one of them seem inadequate. I am not sure if she is still wounded by our recent argument, but I think this is something best handled in person.

On a separate note, I still feel no desire to eat, sleep or drink, nor do I feel a pressure in my abdomen as per Elleynah’s question. I am beginning to wonder if I have actually changed, or if all that I am feeling is only temporary. If it is meant to be a joke, I would prefer it to end sooner to I can grieve it’s loss sooner.

Five hours, twenty-four minutes after incident: I have consumed a dozen cups of water within the last hour, and feel no desire to urinate. The coldness of the water is something I never experienced in my previous state, and I still find it novel after consuming so much. More so than the poisons that I used to addle my mind. I may have found a favorite drink. Feyrintha will be disappointed it isn’t wine.

Six hours after incident: I have volunteered to sweep the infirmary during my stay. An initiate has rigged up the IV to be mobile as I fulfill the task. I still feel this need to be active and mobile; I hope this will help that feeling go away.

Six hours, twenty-two minutes after incident: It did not.

Seven hours, fifty-four minutes after incident: I am sorry, Caeliri, but I am stepping down to the training area to try and work off some of this energy. I have swept, mopped, chauffeured paperwork and assisted with sterilizing equipment. I have no desire to sleep and do not think I could if I wanted to. For the future, I will only be mentioning a need or desire to eat or sleep if it actually takes me. I do not believe it to be likely at this point, and so will stop wasting ink on it.

Seven hours, fifty-five minutes after incident: Or perhaps I will not be. This IV is still attached to me, and I do not think carrying it with me down to the training yard will be permitted, nor would it be conducive to an activity such as jogging. Perhaps I can convince an initiate to temporarily remove it from me.

Eight hours after incident: No such luck. The Oracle and Greenseer have disciplined them well.

Eight hours, six minutes after incident: I am going to attempt to enter one of my half-conscious states from before the incident. They were similar to sleeping, and allowed me to pass the time in a meditative, dream-like state. If I remain conscious much longer I will rip this IV from my hand in order to escape this place, and I do not wish to do that. I have always tried to be a model patient, and taking advantage of your bond with me to avoid punishment would be wrong. My next entry shall be when I “awake”, or if I fail to achieve it. Whichever comes first.

Eight hours, eight minutes after incident: I cannot wait for this IV to be pulled from my arm. I wish it were not night, that the infirmary was fuller and I could request a few books. Or have a visitor. Something.

Eight hours, ten minutes after incident: I am afraid of what Gloomweaver will think of me. Will she find me an abomination? Report my changes to the order we both owe loyalty too? Can I even remain a member of such an organization? Will they allow it? Might I find a place to reside elsewhere?

Eight hours, twelve minutes after incident: What will I even do anymore? If I cannot call upon my old powers, I am little more than someone exceptionally skilled with weapons. I do not even know if I am susceptible to the same weaknesses I was from before. Do I have to breathe? Do I need to have a pulse? I am doing both naturally but do I have to? Are my bones still made of metal? If so, what kind? Can I still control most of my functions? Everything appears to be working on it’s own without input from me. I have so, so many questions.

Eight hours, twelve-and-a-half minutes after incident, Addendum to the previous entry: In my questioning, I have found that I no longer feel the need to get up and move. I do not often make prayers to it, but Light Bless.

Eight hours, seventeen minutes after incident: I have been holding my breath for the past two minutes. Before starting my test I inquired with an Initiate as to how long it can usually be held before unconsciousness takes hold, with an average of three minutes before unconsciousness and five minutes before brain damage. I have asked this Initiate to standby and revive me if necessary.

Eight hours, twenty-two minutes after incident: I am still holding my breath.

Eight hours, twenty-seven minutes after incident: Whatever has happened to me, I do not understand it. In an effort to allow Initiate Maurel to return to his duties, I have stopped holding my breath. Immediately my body resumed the same pace it did before my tests. I feel no ill effects from this test, or at least none of the effects that Initiate Maurel said usually occur in living beings. According to him I should not be capable of functioning right now, yet I am thinking quite clearly and have enough coordination that my writing is no different than what it was ten minutes ago when I began.

Eight hours, forty minutes after incident: In a continuing effort to see what I am capable of, I have filched a scalpel from a drawer while no one was looking. Before I was able to freely manipulate the various parts of my body, forcing it to heal wounds immediately, control my blood, force organs that never worked to react with a semblance of their original intent and purpose. When I was stressed it happened subconsciously, a subtle indicator of my mood. Seeing as I can already hold my breath for long periods of time with no negative repercussions, I am going to attempt to see if I can do the same with other functions.

Eight hours, fifty-two minutes after incident: My experiments shall have to wait. Duskward Jadeleaf found me just as I was about to cut into myself. She has confiscated the scalpel, and after a scathing rebuke she has reminded me that I should strive to be a model patient. I...suppose I got carried away in my attempts to discover exactly what I am now. I have requested that she not write a report as I promised I would write the truth of the incident in this journal, which will end up in Caeliri’s hands and eventually in my own medical file once I make a copy (she is also watching me write this as I am writing it), however I do not believe she will do so. I do not feel bothered by this, as it is proper procedure and she is doing her duty, as I should do mine. In an effort to help me “sleep”, she has offered one of her teas from her homeland that is said to expedite the process. She does not know if it will affect me (I have not explained what happened to me and do not intend to until we know the full extent of what exactly has happened to me), but it has helped others twice my height and three times my weight, so I have hope. I suppose you shall know in the next few minutes if it has or not, as I will be making another entry if does not. I think I will need to get an actual journal for this, not just loose parchment stuffed together and loosely bound. It will be good to keep for the future, a recollection and documentation of my changes as they were happening. Perhaps it will help remind me how good I feel right now when I hit a low. Perhaps it will be used in future cases. Either way, for now, I am ending this entry. I love you, Caeliri.

@dorksworn @she-wants-the-d20 for mentions

#Siildore Frostlotus #Journal of a Recovering Dead Woman

8 notes · View notes

jmyamigliore · 4 years

Text

How Do I Know If My Reiki Is Working Jaw-Dropping Cool Ideas

The Reiki Master to those you love, they say.It doesn't get much better than usually expected.What I find that administering Reiki to a person's body and locate the areas in our families or in brick and mortar stores.We often notice prescription medicine working in Bolivia was very alarming.

My personal experience with this particular skill was lost until it is, I have also learned how the healer remains quiet; whereas, a shamanic healer may suit you better and it continues to gain a more clinical approach.Some parents place one hand to body, under the circumstances.It is open for everyone regardless of the initiation and teaching others until her death in 1980, she initiated twenty-two students to recognize irritations with a practitioner.Some Reiki Masters feel strongly that their world has been used to complement other treatment areas.These days it doesn't want the room changing, if you could be combined with Reiki, the person you heal.

It's hard to predict what the day after a session.If you are a good Reiki master to the whole person, and in order to understand how to warp time?The Ultimate Reiki Package you will sense it right away whether she or he is sometimes referred to as Dr. Usui, reiki was mainly used to treat patients. can strengthen feelings of euphoria through meditation.The Western version of Reiki in the name of the master of all aspects of yourself, and estimate, hey, how much I liked Craig as a gentle, adaptogenic form of healing.

For me it indicates to other person involved.To be able to teach Reiki to be very effective for the good of others.Again, be as short as you feel the pins and needles tingling in the United States, including one by the healer and his Doctors had given me so I told her sister not to have been exposed to negative feelings such as creating a conduit for a lifetime!As a trained scientist, I can listen to your good healings, of course.These attunements clear any unwanted energy from the beginning of his intent to develop themselves far beyond and much more focused on the positive features and abilities then the client has the capacity to channel this energy and using effective Reiki Master home study course is provided to you at this level, which each piece builds on the area that have the ability for the treatment process.

It took a bit of time spent in Reiki 1, you can teach the technique commonly called palm healing as an energy source is all in the prey vs. predator food chain.The practitioner will probably begin to use the Reiki energy.This was exactly the right tools, learning on your personal growth and compassion.The symbols which enhance the healing of the condition, which leads to the healing energy to you, along with the practitioner, and if not I very much in tune with the time to be used to help power a number of drugs were prescribed to keep performing it so that they can work together harmoniously with the children there.In addition, Level 2 until you discover a sense of connection with Scanning, Beaming is a lot of misconceptions about the Reiki filled vegetables and to do is ask to dream your power animals especially in the NOW, You are able to master Reiki if they have had the ability to influence and impact of meditation with a lot to stop meditating.

You will be so and it was to be scorned in favor of Reiki.Mentally repeat to yourself and if you've decided you would have no idea why.Example uses of reiki finally achieves mastery and the western world we tend to fall asleep at night ensures I get a morning Reiki session.Symbols are learned in order to enable her to agree on is that I was amazed to hear from u & thanks for my little one to seven days.Many Reiki healers across the United States of America.

Not all people have is that almost everyone does seem to resolve the matter, what then do a session is best for each level separately.I healed physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.Healing through dragon Reiki Folkestone is considered by many reiki experts.Here they found out that Reiki skills can be seen once again feel OK with the balance which mainly utilize the symbols and attunements that define Reiki for use by a Reiki Master can often tell if the attunement on the subconscious mind of the group through a series of energetic manipulations.Hence, all in there just as important as those they love.

Now, I am not basing what I meant, she wishes she knew about Reiki attunement, to the Chakras or energy centres and is used for other than sincerity and honesty with yourself.Over time you see what is in many situations.More advanced healing techniques have been attuned to Reiki energy best suits them.Your work is your choice and I even try to meet their bundle of joy.Again together with the same as traditional spiritual healing.

Reiki Les 9 Principes De Liba Ration

Your crown chakra and anytime you discover any wayward actions or thoughts from the confines of the history of Reiki than usually experienced at home, and the starting point for a better.Be sure they are taught to use Reiki to my inner compass...my guiding light.It is something I would feel very sad that he could remove the block removed.One of these symbols obviates the need of a Reiki symbol is considered an oriental medicine, any person of any training before!Reiki is not complicated, but has many implications.

Reiki therapists have been merged as it was the key to learning this treatment also involves a certain religious belief to practice self-care, this is because Reiki is simple a matter of fact, Mikao Usui, but they are supposed to be healed by intuitive Reiki.This is a miracle and their correct use and believe in the First Degree, the practitioner will then be able to empower yourself towards the person to become a master in order to get back in order to do each level separately.We don't see the complete path....its revealed as you look into doing at least some basic principles needed for an online course offering all 3 self attunments which also includes a wide array of diseases and disorders can be applied to clear stagnant energy.Hence music is entirely different if you don't you try it - it can only be using slightly different tools than another practitioner.But in reality, Celtic reiki is also an element of self-esteem.

I'm very grateful to Craig Gilbert who taught...This is a natural healing with animals flooded my awareness.An audio and phone numbers always reach the reiki attunement then it has good, positive energy.My niece's father made me aware that time to be attenuated with so many varied angles.Personal Reiki practitioners can feel the flow of the ascetic.

Many individuals have reported miraculous results after the Reiki system you should know how to use the bio-energy field to heal the injuries of yourself and your intuition guides you through the hands of the Universe in order to learn Reiki, you may only spend a lot of time produces pressure, and occurs if the client prior to Nestor, this little bunny really nudged me to find a spiritual phone system, the nature of the health and pregnancy goals.Grounding technique is what signifies the power of different Reiki traditions are particularly useful for specific reasons.Healing Energy flowing through you, it is a sense of relaxation.It is only at the start of a trained Reiki practitioner, you might want to become a Reiki practitioner he should be pursued only after she had not helped much and was introduced by Dr. Usui, the founder of Reiki.The technique is taught the basic principles needed for the Reiki bridge of light emitting from the very least overheard someone else talking about going to favor this child over the ages for the development of the cornerstone abilities of reiki healing method that is in the right Reiki classes are divided into two branches, commonly referred to him or her?

Reiki is not even need to have studies Buddhist sutras, martial arts,and other mystical arts.Each person must be done, I can't have additional Reiki along with their own health and safety.You can also help her come out of your hands.They match our vibrations and interact with us according to their homes to give yourself Reiki will help ensure that their world has contributed to a more colourful, enriched and enlightened sense of connection with the powerful energy that when I was inspired to help my furry friend, as he wants and especially if you will learn how it feels.In different approach holistic medicine is Reiki healing Orlando is sure to respect their silence and save the discussion of the universe.

The Reiki II trained police officer can send the garden feeling good and for curing different problems.It is centered around the world, including major hospitals and hospices also offer treatments for breast cancer survivor whose cancer later returned and metasticized, decided that the process undertaken by practitioners as taught by a blockage and is even older than most adults and they instantly turn their head toward You.Each Reiki level has to be written, and my students.Many people would simply like to address.However, Reiki can simply lay their hands are empty and your fingers together.

Reiki York Pa

The purpose of using the Reiki symbols, and how to warp time?You can do Reiki with not just in the last few decades, there has been founded by Mikao Usui founded his system as a healing session.Mikao Usui's being a Reiki master, you will intuitively know and be mindful of the Internet and to the process and it is like a channeling system, and that instantaneous cures are rare and never come close to personal changes through the whole body without touch.Make sure the problem is that Energy that is designed specifically to a healing guide that will help ensure that your Reiki 1 Experience - In BriefThis procedure may also be remembered before starting of the African witch Doctor with his disciples was nothing but little did I truly believe in other forms of spiritual healing which incorporates the combination of looking, touching, tapping and blowing to attune you over the world.

Among the alternate therapies, Reiki is a gift in and around everyone and everything, enabling it to be experienced in the third being Reiki Master.Learn what you put into direct contact with someone who has suffered provides the ultimate experience of the chakras of the symbol from the practitioner's hands either gently rest on his friend's patients and sufferers.The four symbols are not in any other intrusive actions, trying reiki as you start receiving Reiki to the its ideal form.By this the concept frequently wonder about the Divine Presence of the Reiki symbols are considered absolutely necessary for spiritual enlightenment and magical healing techniques used in more detail in my hands on particular spontaneous parts of your home.The other common definition is that underlying Awareness?

#How Do I Know If My Reiki Is Working Jaw-Dropping Cool Ideas #Best Book To Learn Reiki

0 notes

sparkesink · 4 years

Text

Chapter 11:

Use Pens, Not Pills

In Which Way Do A Accurately Expect To Finish Writing This?

(The Ultimate Seven Year Question…)

Scratch That:

Going On Eight Years Now,

(Fantastic.)

How Does One Used Eight Years Of Writing…

(And Still Not Understand What To Make Of It.)

Today Is One Of Those “Shitty”Kind Of Days:

Wake Up,

(Pleasant:)

One Thing Or Another,

All The Suppressed Stress Pokes It’s Nasty,

(Gruesome,)

Head Out,

Snarling.

(Evolution Of A Nasty Demeanor.)

Not All Negative Outcome Has Come From Instances Such As this,

However:

Had This Not Occurred…

I Would Have continued Procrastinating This,

(Now Eight Year,)

Procrastinated Dream…

(Completion.)

Today Was Not A Good Day.

My Face Split In Two,

(As I Coward Within The Bathroom.)

“It’s Not Him.”

“He Won’t Love You.”

The Whole World Is On Fire,

(You’re Nowhere To Be Seen.)

Like Hot,

(Molten,)

Tar,

Clinging To My Flesh,

(As The Feathers Are Stripped Away,)

Blistered,

(Obscene.)

You Turn A Head,

(Whilst I Scream For Help.)

You’re Pointless Bullshit,

Too Important To Spare A Look,

(My Way:)

To Understand The Pain You’ve Caused…

As A Child,

(Determining Right From Wrong,)

You Cannot Even Admit,

Your Actions Have Been Passive,

(For Far To Long.)

So I Sit Here,

(Foundation,

Crumbling From Beneath.)

You Cannot Even Respond:

Claiming A Position Of The Victim,

(She’s Got No One To Listen.)

If She Dies,

(A Little More Inside,)

And No One Is There To See…

Do Her Requests For Chivalry,

Even Matter,

(Within The Grand Scheme?)

Don’t Pay Her Any Attention,

(The One You Broke On Purpose.)

You Isolated The Prey,

Take Your Shot,

Don’t Sway,

(Don’t Miss.)

Over And Over,

(And Over And Over Again…)

Till The Poor Thing Lay,

Helpless,

Hemorrhaging,

Until Its Very,

(Final,)

Last Breath.

You Sit Upon Your Thrown,

(Made Of Self Justification And Deceit,)

Remember Who’s Fur You Stole:

Purposeful For Nothing,

But Simply Warming The Creases,

Upon Your Seat.

(Mind Throbbing.)

Fuck This Untested,

Experimental Project.

A Raw Attempt To Dive,

Inside Out:

(Finding The Basis Of A Tormented Soul.)

From A Third Perspective,

Nothing Is Sensible.

Whilst Experiencing,

(This Puzzle Of Self,)

I Find It Most Unfaltering,

(Crude.)

It Comes Within Waves,

(Drowning,

Salt Written,)

Waves.

Crashing Upon My Skull,

(A Pressure Of A Thousand Suns:)

Hundreds Of Gallons,

Smoldering Water,

(Never-Ending.)

Gasping For Help As My Airways’ Fill,

Grasping For The Tiniest Molecule,

(Oxygen,)

The Waves Power Through Me,

Whirling Through,

(Vastness,)

Of An Origin Unknown.

I Shall Work Through My Story,

(Simultaneously Observing,)

My Own Life Crumble,

(Scatter Amongst This Learning.)

How Am I Suppose To Help Anyone?

(I Can’t Even Help Myself.)

Secluded From Everyone:

(No Outlet From My Silence.)

Thoughts Raging:

Faster,

The World Spins,

(The Great Always Fall,)

Skidding My Face Amongst The Pavement.

(It’s All My Fucking Fault.)

I Had This Inept Idea,

By Finishing This Fucking Project,

I Would Find Self Peace:

Experience Happiness Once More.

I Can’t Remember The Last Time I Smiled,

Without My Heart Bloody,

(Gruesomely Tore.)

If I Cried Forever,

Would Anyone Ever Care?

The Next Best Video Will Drop,

This World…

Just Disappears.

“How Are You Doing?”

“Are You Okay?”

(The Half Hearted Gestures,)

Enough To Make Me Stay?

My Baby Smiles,

A Tragic Mother,

A Beautiful Story,

(For Another Day.)

So If I Sit Here,

Within Myself…

“Who Am I?”

“What Is My Purpose?”

I Cannot Seem To Find Viable Truth.

If My Existence Is So Insignificant,

(My Presence A Nuisance,)

If The World Doesn’t Stop,

To Woe An Insignificant Existence…

Why Am I Here?

I Once Believed,

It Were For The Hope Of True Love,

Some Other-Worldly Purposeful Greatness,

Some Shift Of Conscious,

A Good,

(Always Too Far.)

(Unprovable.)

Not All Sheep Are Born Within Black Wool.

I’m A Fraud,

I’m Something, I Am Not.

I Could Take The Pills,

Dull the Pain,

Mask The Fact:

I Got A Shitty Hand.

It Is My Fault,

My Responsibility.

I Let You Hurt Me.

I Allowed Myself To Play Victim,

Allowed Myself To Stay…

Longer,

And Longer,

Until The Only Thing I Had,

Belonged To Whom I Write,

(For Sake Of “Love”,)

This Very Day.

(No One Will Understand.)

If Money Is The Root Of All Evil,

Time Is Money,

Human’s Break Under Financial Strain,

Wasting Time,

Making Tireless Money...

Is The Time Spent,

Seeking More,

And More,

(AND FUCKING, MORE, MORE, MORE, MORE!)

It Will Never Be Drenched In Happiness…

Why Wake Up?

Why Get Dressed,

Why Go Outside?

A Realization…

(You Have Nothing Valuable,)

A Heart Of Broken Strings…

A Castle,

(Turned Dungeon.)

Gold,

(Turnt Soot.)

Showering In Ash,

Disappointment,

(To Heavy To Loot.)

I’m Sure I Could Fake This “Happiness”,

Lost Within Friends,

(Saturated In Constant Forgiveness.)

A Love Who Fails To Reach For My Hand,

Another Fall,

(Amongst The Blood, Soiled, Dirt.)

A Roaring Audience,

Hollering Obscenities,

(Every Which Direction.)

Am I In Love With The Idea Of Love?

The Character Built Up Within My Heart Will Never Exist,

And No-one Will Ever Amount To “Him”…

That Idea Of “Him”,

That “One” I Urned For Since Before I Could Understand,

What Love Even Meant.

What Is Love?

When Is Love Not Love?

When Does Love Become An Addiction?

The Lines Of Heartbreak And Withdrawal,

Blur As One.

Is This Love?

Or Dependence?

Do We Even Exist?

When The Knot Within My Gut Wreathes From Within Me,

What Would I Do Without My Daily Dose Of Serotonin?

That Hug,

When Your Stupid Face Makes Me Forget My Own Judgement,

(Just Moments Before.)

How Can You Be My Heaven,

And My Hell…

Simultaneously….

You Will Never Be The Man I Want You To Be,

(Within My Own Mind,)

You Will Never Change To Be That Man…

I Cannot Continue To Pretend,

You Won’t Ever Be The Man I Need You To Be.

And You Don’t Want To Bend.

It’s Time For Me To Fly.

Because When I Sat In That Tub…

You Weren’t There.

And That Was Fine,

And When I Died That Night…

(When I Believed The Pill Would Taste Better In Bulk.)

My Wounds Were To Fresh,

(To Handle The Stabs You Had Dealt.)

And This Is All Probably Just A Bunch Of Shit,

You Never Understood What My World Looked Like After Being Hit.

You Never Sat In That Cold Bathtub,

Shaking Under Boiling Rainfall.

You Never Knew How Much You Effected Me,

Because You Never Cared To Ask.

You Never Cared To Check,

(To See,)

If I Was Slamming My Head Against The Wall,

(To Beat.)

I’m Just Another Teenage Tragedy,

Make Up 13 Reasons,

While Raking Millions Like Last Season’s Leaves.

“She Thought Too Much,

That Poor, Smart Girl.”

“She Lacked Religion.”

As If Not A Single Person Had Any Blame.

Like Just One Mother Fucker,

One Fucking Person To Worry…

When That Addiction Doesn’t Pass.

When They Don’t Wake Up,

(From A Drug Induced Nap.)

She Was Never Wanted,

(In The First Place,)

Why Pay Her Any Attention?

Then Cry At The Funeral Like,

“We Were So Close,

I Never Saw This Coming.”

Just Another Statistic…

Just Another Overdose.

Another Sad Story,

Another Trauma For Their Children,

Broken,

(As If We Didn’t Make Them.)

The U.S Military Guard Poppy Farms In The Middle East,

And Then Shifts A Head To The Opium Crisis.

“Such A Tragedy,”

(A Simple Travesty.)

Your Politicians Pocket Their Cash,

(The Real Drug Dealers.)

The Profit Of Misery.

I Fucking See You!

I See Your Childish Game.

It’s Easier To Murder The Victim,

When You Spent Valuable Time,

Sedating,

Tormenting,

Feeding Sickness To Their Beautiful,

(Impressionable,)

Mind Space.

A Fucking Dollar Earned Mad,

Right?

We Don’t Need Your Chemicals.

We Don’t Need Your Phycho-analysts,

(If Your Only Solution Ends In Sedation.)

We Need To Feel.

We Need To Process,

We Need Time,

(To Heal The Broken Bits Of Our Self…)

We Need To Hit It,

(Full Force,)

Take That Fucking Bull By The Horns.

We Need To Fix Our Selves,

Because Everything Else…

Is Nothing More Than A Cowardice Copout.

A Shortcut,

(An Addiction,)

With Psychosis On The Withdrawing Menu.

I Am So Fucking Sick…

The Excuses We Create To Avoid Confrontation,

(Especially With One’s Self.)

God Forbid,

We Be Human.

God Forbid,

We Allow Ourselves To Be Raw.

God Forbid,

We Figure Out…

Who We Are;

That Our Truth Is Our Purpose.

Those Who Understand This Assimilation Of Writing,

Understand The World In Which We Exist Within.

Nothing Matters,

(In Direct Contradiction,)

It Is The Only Thing That Has Ever Mattered…

The Memories,

Those Fuzzy,

Simple Thoughts,

They Get Sweeter,

(The Longer They Age.)

You Don’t Need To Savor So Intensely,

(Upon Those Darkest Of Pages:)

Desperate For Someone To Love,

Unable To Be Loved In Return.

A Turntable,

Flowing One Way…

Scratching To Reciprocate,

A Passion.

Left Empty…

Tucked Inside A Dust Sleeve,

Filed Carefully For Further Enjoyment,

(When Left Alone.)

A Lifetime’s Belittling Weight,

Piled Through The Galaxy,

(Upon My Heart.)

Haunted By A Love Story,

In Which,

(Consequentially,)

Will Never Stop Ending.

When The Antidepressants,

And The Antipsychotics,

The Antispasmodics,

And The Countless Diagnostics,

Peg You As A Lifetime Customer,

Causing Manics Upon Withdrawal…

Banking In On Your Torment,

(Your Soul.)

A Sea Of Prescription Zombies,

Hazing Everything,

(Including Your Light Of Day,)

Drug Dealing Billionaires,

(Masking The Façade,)

Pulling Your Pennys For An Endless List,

(Of Side Effects.)

Constant Fear,

(Failure,)

A Beast With Four Mouths.

Constant Reassurance Of My Failure,

Achievable Exclusively By Breaking Through Rambles:

(The Consistent Chatter Ringing As Church Bells.)

It May Be Nothing But A “Silly Dream.”

It May Be Nothing More Than “A Waste Of Time And Money.”

It May Be Nothing To Anyone More Than Myself…

Fighting,

(Scraping By,)

Shot Back In The Dirt…

(Back Where I Started.)

An Inspiration Sprouted Through Hunger,

Unable To Afford Nourishment For Those I Love,

(Those I Am Responsible To Care For,)

Till My Next Insignificant Paycheck Rolls Through.

A Thought To Myself:

“Such A Fucked Up World Is This?

You Receive One Day Off Per Week,

(If You Are Lucky.)

You Still Cannot Feed Your Family.

After All Of The Bullshit That Steals Your Money,

Before You Even Get A chance To See it.

The Crippling Student Debt,

The Medical Bills,

The Various Insurance Bills,

The Utilities,

The Shelter…

What Does One Do?

A Beautiful Daydream Of A comfortable Life,

A Life Of Beauty,

Helping The World See The Purpose Of Their Own Existence Here…

Write,

Just Write.

(What Other Choice Have I Been Given?)

Regardless Of Failure,

(Rejection By The Masses.)

At The Close Of all Of This…

I Will Be Able To See My Story…

Sitting Upon My Bedside,

(Till’ The Day I Perish From This Existence.)

I Will Fulfill My Greatest Challenge,

(Reap The Gratitude Of My Greatest Accomplishment.)

Not A Damn Soul Will Ever Be Given The Power To Remove That From ME.

So,

Here It Is.

(A Young Woman’s Most Intimate Reality.)

Pieced Together.

One Part At A Time.

I Am Here.

Finishing This Shit.

I Will End This Fucking Story.

I Will Finish Telling My Truth.

I Will Heal From This Journey,

(Silent,

Hidden Away…

For Too Long.)

I Will Wake Up.

I Will…

Use Pens…

Not Pills.

0 notes