#s15 speculation

[good-realtor-bad-realtor-dynamic]

Sunny season 16 premiere last night was so much more than I could have hoped for. I've had insanity buzzing through my veins for the last 18 hours straight.

Good bye attempts to perform Life.

[saving-people-haunting-things]

Adding Amara to the list of characters s15 has ruined. Like this new reasoning behind her bringing back Mary is really stupid. Was it not enough to have her be a cosmic deity that tried to be nice but actually didn't understand what she was really doing?

[superbeans89]

They had proposals in s12, followed by stag dos in s13. Logically speaking, someone has to marry Little Alex Horne in s14. Possibly followed by a divorce in s15.

[angelsdean]

listen, i'm gonna say something mmmm maybe controversial idk but the whole "having to run the confession by jensen" thing that some are quick to point to as "proof" of homophobic jensen is 1. just silly considering even IF they were actually looking for his approval he clearly was fine with it since the confession obviously happened, but 2. WOULD make a lot of sense if dean was also reciprocating or more involved in the scene (rather than just standing there receiving the confession), because, well, you'd want both actors to be on board with the scene. and misha was told abt the scene and consulted abt it early on. and it was one of the earliest scenes written for s15. the whole season built around the knowledge of the confession, in context of this scene eventually happening. and then all the stories they've told abt the day of filming the scene, how enthusiastic they were about it, the handprint stuff, jensen wanting the scene filmed on his phone, how emotional and important the scene felt for both of them, how they hugged it out after, how giddy jensen was talking abt the scene in that interview after it aired. misha and jensen sending each other fan reaction videos. it was clearly something that was important to both of them and it just makes me wonder more abt the actual context of that meeting during the planning stages for s15, now with all this speculation abt the latam dub and the possibility of an earlier version where dean DID explicitly reciprocate.

[futuristicdoormats789]

I'm just speculating here but don't forget that:

Spoilers for S19 ahead:

if all those simulations of the retconned seasons were in Epsilons head, that means he conjured up Simmons and Grif having their bestie alone time in the closet from S15.

I don't know what this says about Epsilon but it says something.

[orionsangel86]

God same about Jensen!

He clearly had some insight into Dean that came out intermittently I just thought it was Instincts he had because he'd internalised Dean so much but didn't actually understand what he was saying, stuck in ol' "oh haha Dean is a stupid repressed child who only likes guns" mindset

Turns out WE'RE the fools and Jensen's been playing us ALL

when do you think he took up plans to take over SPN himself? I honestly think it's when they decided to end SPN at S15 and talks about how they should end the story were going on and they had to send him to KRIPKE of all people

Yeah its wild. I would love for him (with Misha's help) to write a tell all book one day.

I feel like jackles has been a far better actor than we all gave him credit for. He has always been very switched on to fandom, he knew about the warring sides, the hate and the bullshit, and I reckon he was being told for years by his bosses to always keep all sides of fandom happy and to play his damn role at all times (ironically just like how Chuck ordered Dean to play his role - life imitates art too often in this fucking show its almost scary). Hence why he's insights into Dean often came across contradictory and odd. Sometimes he had beautiful accurate insights which make total sense, and other times (usually in j2 panels) he'd regress back to the "haha dean just likes guns and girls like a macho man should".

We will never truly know what went on behind the scenes following the moment j2m announced s15 was the end (unless jackles writes that book) so its hard to truly speculate when jackles decided to take things into his own hands, but I also believe it was around about the time they planned the finale and everyone was kissing jarpiss's asshole and jackles was left in the cold to stare down a shitty death scene he didnt agree with. Going to kripke was prob the final straw for him.

He was gaslit into thinking that ending was okay, and whenever he tried to question it he was told to sit down shut up and do what he was told, all the while watching his manchild tantrum throwing drama queen of a costar get his dick sucked by the entire production team for coughing a few times and puffing out his chest and singing the praises of a finale that pushed the spotlight firmly on him and his cop propaganda show.

So yeah, jackles was done dirty, and so he became That Bitch and started making plans. He had the production company set up only days after the finale aired, turned off his social media and refused to be involved in any spn finale celebratory CW PR (absolute King Shit)

I think he started making calls before they even finished filming. Dean wasnt even cold on the ground before The Winchesters had been dreamed up as a way to bring him back. Jackles rare few post finale SM posts all alluded to Dean returning again. He knew what he was doing.

At the same time he was ghosting the manchild, and planning to move his family to Colorado to get away from him. After SPN finally wrapped in mid 2020, him and Jarpiss went their separate ways. They barely spoke after that. Jackles was setting in motion all his plans to fix everything that he considered a personal afront to him (because he is absolutely deranged and literally possessed by the ghost of Dean Winchester) and those plans certainly involve fixing the ending somehow - in a way that isnt obvious no doubt, because he still has to be careful and at least pretend like he respects the ending and his egotistical douchebag of a costar (though he hasn't been doing a very good job of either tbh!)

Thats all my speculation anyway. Holding out for that tell all book jackles!

[jensenknowsdeanbetterthanyou]

something to consider about The Winchesters, is that the head writer is Robbie Thompson! he who has always written high concept episodes...going back in time to the 1940s, fan fiction, the pov of a car....so I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s going to be some meta twists and turns to explain this new story of Mary and John, and not just ‘oh they had their mind wiped and this is what really happened’. 

i have all these ideas but its hard to speculate without knowing where Dean is in all of this, is he in Heaven or on earth before what took place at the end of s15? 

my main thought either way though is that angels are going to be involved one way or another. 

another thing, Jensen is a massive The Princess Bride fan. for those who haven’t seen the film, an old man reads the story of The Princess Bride to his grandson which then cuts to the actual fairytale, but the fairytale keeps stopping and we cut back to present day when the little boy and his grandpa dispute what happens in the story. just something else to think about. 

[queermania]

What stuff was happening behind the scenes in Dabb era that affected the writing 👀

market research, samantha smith wanting to leave, finding out s15 was going to be the last, pre-production of walker, pandemic, network meddling, etc.

obviously this is all speculation but i think it's a logical assumption that these things would factor into decisions and i also think we sort of have evidence of some of them affecting scripts via the script drafts we've seen.

[storiesofsvu]

hi bestie! hope you’re doing great! 😊

out of curiosity, realistically, do you think Rita and Barba would’ve worked out? (as in a relationship obviously haha)

who do you think she’d make a lovely couple with?

hey bestie!! i dont have to work today so things are going swell lolol.

Okay, i have whole ass theories on this, and a couple of fics/series on the docket to include some Barhoun stuff.

Sometimes... I believe that they dated back in college, somehow became friends, spent lots of time studying, late nights, add in a little bit of booze into the mix and one thing lead to another and they fucked. It was out of sheer convenience that it continued or became something more. like, they were both heavy into school, focusing on future careers and making it in the legal world and a lot of other people may not have understood that and demanded more time/effort into a relationship. Whereas with each other it's just a couple of added little kisses when they greet each other, studying while cuddling and some sex added into what their friendship was prior. And then that's that, they graduate, both start working and out of that little Harvard bubble they kinda realize that they're not relationship material but stay good friends and the occasional fuck buddy. AND, while I fully believe that Lucia and Rita are the BEST of friends and Rita takes her on shopping trips and invites out to the hamptons and they gang up on Raf sometimes in a teasing way only a bestie/gf and a mom can, that Rita's parents *absolutely* would *not* approve of their daughter dating Barba. I canon her parents to not be the best, and obvi they're rich and upper east side kinda ppl. So the scholarship kid from the Bronx isn't going to be good enough, ya know?

Option 2: of them just being besties and not dating through college is kinda they casually date as adults, things don't get too serious because they simply *cannot*. Rita likes to dote on people, she likes to gift, she'll *regularly* come home with presents ranging from Raf's favourite sweet treat from the bodega on the corner to cufflinks from Tiffany's kinda thing. She spoils, a lot. And Raf can't deal with that, because they do come from very different backgrounds and he sees it as both a waste of money and like he's a charity case. Make sense? Like, while they both do have some fancy tastes, he just doesn't always feel like he fits into Rita's world. NOW in this situation (and this is the premise for an upcoming series); there is an easy solution. Raf also feels like he's not that great of a partner because he's always working late, can be standoffish/brash, or not always there. Rita's like, too much for him, so... if you add in a third person to make a throuple/poly, THEN Barhoun works. Poly Barhoun is just the far superior ship, Rita has someone to spoil and fawn over, Raf knows that his (third) partner has someone with them and taking care of them when he ends up sleeping in his office cause a case load is too much.

Now: canon wise, here are my speculations pertaining Barhoun.

s14: we first meet the two of them, they're very obviously still banging. Like, they're almost *too* flirty but trying to cover up the flirty if that makes sense. it's all "ms calhoun" "mr barba" with these little smirks, the "ms calhoun, long time no see" and she returns it with a little nod and a grin like she didn't wake up in his bed that morning. PLEASE. you're fooling NO ONE. potentially also dating at this point.

s15: still casual, still banging with potential dating. rita reps liv & amaro in this season, they clearly can't afford her, so it's obvi a favour for Barba.

s16: they fucking FIGHTING in this season, something went down, rita's willing to let it go but barba's got a stick up his ass and when he doesn't back down, she obvi fights fire with fire. they're at each other's throats in her first ep of the season and still tense in the second (my personal two fave options for this are: barba found out about rita/tucker and is irked she never mentioned it. OR, Rita fucked Liv and barba's livid because rita obvi would know that barba was harboring feelings)

s17: back to being friends, whatever happened, the water's cleared, they're still not perfect, but they're back to the teasing and the little games. s18: similar vibes.

Rita: while she has chemistry with plenty of the SVU characters, and a lot of them seem like they could work with her, there's always an issue that wouldn't make it work long term. The only person I can see her successfully being in a long term relationship with is Casey.

[archivingspn]

2020: Twitter- #DLCOnline Part 2

ced1694: “Misha also said he never thought the confession would happen either that they would make it real but he’s so happy they did #DLCONLINE #DarklightConventions” - 3:38pm Nov 8, 2020

[source]

mothdean: “how #DLCONLINE went down:

misha: it's a romantic love confession, i knew about it for a year, jensen 3 months i was worried what he'd say but we both agreed to do it. i thought it was so important. us: 📈📈📈 misha: in my interpretation its unrequited us: 📉📉📉📉” - 3:47 PM Nov 8, 2020

[source]

NorthernSprw: “From misha’s meet & greet re 18 and Cas’s ILY scene:

- he got chills when Bobo first pitched it to him last yr. Was thrilled

- never thought the show would go there

- yes, it is romantic love

- he has been playing it that way (romantic love) “for a while”, definitely all S15″ - Nov 8, 2020

NorthernSprw: - “Misha knew this scene was coming long before Jensen did

- he’s surprised there are people who still view Cas’s ILY speech as platonic, thinks “we made it pretty clear””- 3:49 PM Nov 8, 2020

[source]

NorthernSprw: “- he agrees though that there can be other interpretations. He almost wrote an op-ed about Cas & LGBT representation , but decided not to because he doesn’t want to decide viewers’ interpretations for them” - 3:49 PM Nov 8, 2020

[source]

NorthernSprw: “- he kind of thinks Dean does not feel romantic love back; but he interrupted himself here to say “I’m speculating”, & again made the point that he does not decide people’s interpretations; he wrapped up with “I don’t know what’s in Dean’s head. And Cas doesn’t know”“ - Nov 8, 2020

NorthernSprw: “- says, if Jensen had been against it, they wouldn’t have been able to do it. Said he actually can’t quite remember any details of how jensen initially reacted. But Jensen was on board w the scene, w the whole idea“ - 3:49 PM Nov 8, 2020

[source]

adoringcas: “Misha doesn’t think the Bury Your Gays trope will be the lasting point of “Castiel’s end.” He knows the intention of the crafting of the story wasn’t to embody that trope. #DLCONLINE“ - 3:54 PM Nov 8, 2020

[source]

adoringcas: “For people confused, I understood this as Misha believing Cas’ coming out and his confession will be the thing Cas’ death is remembered for, not the Bury Your Gays trope. He knows how much time and love and effort went into that scene #DLCONLINE ‘adoringcas: Misha doesn’t think the Bury Your Gays trope will be the lasting point of “Castiel’s end.” He knows the intention of the crafting of the story wasn’t to embody that trope. #DLCONLINE′” - 4:19 PM Nov 8, 2020

[source]

SoundsOfSeries: “#INFOSOS SPOILER Ruth was live tweeting about episode 18 but she stopped when the scene happened because she was in tears because of Misha's acting. She said it all finally made sense. #DLCOnline” - 4:49 PM Nov 8, 2020

[source]

raths_kitten: “Misha likes episodes like Baby where he gets paid in full but doesn’t have to do more. #DLCONLINE” - 6:08pm Nov 8, 2020

[source]

raths_kitten: “Does it feel like The End or is there a „but“ at the end? Misha: It‘s Supernatural, so... nobody is ever really dead on SPN holds. He thinks a reboot in 20 years is possible. #DLCONLINE” - 6:16pm Nov 8, 2020

[source]

raths_kitten: “Misha wants to add that he appreciates Rich giving them enough rehearsal time & letting them properly dissect it beforehand. & that he sheduled it as last scene to give it proper attention. #DLCONLINE” - 6:26pm Nov 8, 2020

[source]

ced1694: “MISHA LEGIT JUST SAID THAT CAS’ CONFESSION “Pretty much made Destiel canon” #DLCONLINE #DarklightCon #Destiel #DESTIELisCANON” - 6:27pm Nov 8, 2020

[source]

raths_kitten: “Richard adds that it was such a gift to the fans, to give that character such a journey to relate to. Network TV usually doesn’t take risks like that. It was the best play he saw all year. #DLCONLINE” - 6:27pm Nov 8, 2020

[source]

SPNBunkerNA: “Q. Talk about THAT scene. #DLCONLINE” - Nov 8, 2020

SPNBunkerNA: “A. Misha explains the scene to the cast who didn’t know what happened. (Will say more later).” - Nov 8, 2020

SPNBunkerNA: “Mark says everyone knew Cas was in love with Dean. Matt cajoles about Richard getting the amazing performance out of Misha. Cuz Matt couldnt convince him to do it in his scenes. #DLCONLINE” - Nov 8, 2020

SPNBunkerNA: “A. Richard was glad to have a chance to have a scene that matters on network TV. #DLCONLINE” - 6:29pm Nov 8, 2020

[source]

SPNBunkerNA: “They talked about the plane crash a bit. #DLCONLINE” - Nov 8, 2020

SPNBunkerNA: “Richard said they had conversations for weeks about that scene and made changes up to the last minute. #DLCONLINE” - Nov 8, 2020

SPNBunkerNA: “They talked about the surreal nature of having Destiel trending above election and Putin. #DLCONLINE” - 6:33pm Nov 8, 2020

[source]

ced1694: “Mark Sheppard “The election would take care of itself but Destiel is forever” FUCK YES SAY IT MARK 😭😭😭😭😍😍😍😍💚💙💚💙💚💙 #DestielForever #MishaCollins𓂺 #Supernatural  #CastielForever” - 6:32pm Nov 8, 2020

[source]

[Part 1]

[deanncastiel]

Do you reckon had Kripke been show runner for longer he would have made destiel cannon earlier and also I feel like if anything destiel would have become cannon in s8 had they made it earlier (regardless of Kripke had made it cannon or not, as maybe he would have done it later in the series?)

oh nonny this is such a good question and while i have thought about it a lot i'm not quite sure i'm 100% here but we shall see what we get shall we

i'm going to break this down into two sections bc i feel like you asked two separate but related questions

so the first question is - would destiel have become canon earlier if kripke had remained show runner for longer - honestly i think no. i think kripke would have been open to it, just based on what i know of the early planning history of spn as well as dean and his character. but given the time period of when he was showrunner + 5 years after that i can't really see it. i think it's easy to forget that we went through 3 showrunners before gay marriage even became legal in the US (country wide that is) and while shows were certainly pushing the envelope back in the early 2010s i don't think even kripke could have pushed for dean and cas to be canon back then, even if he wanted to

but as i said, i don't necessarily think that because kripke wouldn't have been OPEN to deancas being canon. i certainly don't think it was his intention, but i do think that once he knew about the interest, the idea would have intrigued him.... and that's as far as i've thought here, i could go on but it just gets more and more speculative so eh

the second part of the question (as far as i understood) was more of a theory by anon stating that if tptb had been open to destiel it could have gone canon in s8, regardless of if kripke had remained showrunner past s5

i will say that i think jeremy carver was a huge destiel fan and tried hard to make it canon. we don't call it season gr8 for nothing. i will also say that i think sera gamble was a destiel fan in her own right - as much as someone can be a destiel fan while being as homophobic as possible ;alsdjflkas

personally i do think s8 was a test case of jeremy carver and creative directors to make destiel canon and then tptb shut it down and that's why there was barely anything in s9 or s10. so yes, i think if tptb had been more open to dean and cas it may have gone canon in s8 regardless of kripke's involvement. but as i mentioned earlier, we didn't have gay marriage until 2015 and s8 aired between 2012 - 2013. the same societal pressures that i think would have impacted kripke if he had stayed on as showrunner longer would still be in effect here even if tptb were more friendly

i think the more effective question here is actually would destiel have been canon in s13 had tr*mp not gained the US presidency in 2016

that, i think, was the most significant cultural event that potentially impacted destiel becoming canon. i am too tired to go into all the horrors of the tr*mp presidency but needless to say it was very anti-queer. as crazy as it sounds, i do believe that if clinton had won in 2016 we may have gotten destiel earlier

this all to say - personally i'm not mad that we didn't get canon destiel until s15. as one of my friends mentions constantly, if destiel had become canon earlier it would have been subjected to the standard "relationship drama" that shows utilize and honestly i think that would have been a disservice to dean and cas (tho tbf it is a disservice to all relationships that are subject to it).

i'm happy with not getting canon destiel until s15 bc tbh i'm not sure the show could have handled it effectively and i still question their ability if i'm being honest

i'm a big fan of having an ending where fandom creators can take what we have and build in any direction and that's what we have here, as much as i hate the finale.

anyway this was long but hopefully you were able to bare with me aha

[drageverywhere]

Wait... Why would V be in the promo for s15?

🤷🏻‍♀️ also, I thought they always filmed in L.A.

The season itself was ofc filmed in LA as always but the promo was filmed in NY (like the promo for S12 & AS7 for example) And it has been heavily speculated that S15 is a commemorative season to celebrate Drag Race’s run until now, so there will be cameos of DR alumni etc. Many other queens from older seasons travelled to NY at the same time as all the S15 queens last week.

Get it, get it… well I just want V on my tv again so I’m not mad about it, I’ll take whatever they give me.

[arthurchu98]

Purchase Bitcoin Mining Hardware Antminer S15 Avalon 921

You can evaluate the standing of your order at any time in your person account. In addition to previous Ibelink and Pinidea X11 ASIC mines, today we have the honor to see another X11 miner – BAIKAL MINI X11 miner. In the digital age, cryptocurrency has emerged as a golden ticket for tech aficionados, promising potentials of revenue and innovation. It is a newer introduction that was first produced for December 2020. Get the best mining performance out of your Antminer L3+ through the use of the right software program. The two corporations plan to collaborate on the development of a line of SHA-256 BTC Thor miners. Sino-Global pledge to speculate $50 million into the project in coming years, as properly as attain out for buyers. At this time no further information about the Thor bitcoin miner is discovered. Like Whatsminer, AvalonMiner takes extra power per terahash than an Antminer. The Bitmain Antminer S7 is an ASIC miner designed for cryptocurrencies that use the SHA-256 algorithm. The Antminer S7 is powered by Bitmain’s 28nm ASIC chip and has a maximum hash price of as much as 4.seventy three TH/s with a power consumption of 1293W. It was one of the most powerful ASIC miners obtainable at its release, making it a preferred choice for industrial-scale mining operations. Now its recognition may not be fairly to the extent as most others on this record of high ASIC miners yet, however it is still some of the efficient. The Jasminer X4, another of the most effective ASIC miners, is an ASIC miner designed for mining cryptocurrencies that use the CryptoNight algorithm, corresponding to Monero (XMR) and Bytecoin (BCN). Canaan had been also the primary bitcoin mining producer to be listed on NASDAQ as CAN in late-2019. Uniquely, Canaan has a number of chip suppliers which they declare speeds up manufacturing. Their machines are thought to make use of 7-16nm TSMC chips, are rumored to use SMIC 7nm chips, and have used 10nm Samsung chips prior to now. Terra hash rankings are in the intervening time assigned to the highest rated items. If you realize what to do, cryptocurrency mining can nonetheless be very worthwhile.

In change for mining operations, you presumably can receive a monetary reward within the type of digital currency. bitmain antminer e9 mining software program provides detailed reviews based in your earnings. Most of these free mining web site instruments are automated, so it does not require technical skills. Many miners choose to arrange a large mining space of their garage or basement.

[bijoharvelle]

@casismybestfriend asked if i had a good shot of the blood on dean’s shoulder - frame-by-frame & fucking with the colors/etc a bit, these were the clearest i could do!!! 

i am.....steadfastly resisting becoming a clown for personal reasons but i will say that sure does look like a handprint huh 👀👀👀

[dothwrites]

spn15 spec, destiel, post 15.18, mcd?? sort of???

---

And when your sorrow is comforted (time soothes all sorrows) you will be content that you have known me. You will always be my friend.--Antoine de-Saint Exupery, The Little Prince

---

Castiel opens his eyes in nothingness. 

It’s not dark, though the air which presses around him is thick onyx. There is neither gravity nor weightlessness here. Castiel exists but he does so in a void so barren that he doubts his own mind. He opens his mouth to call out, but no sound escapes. 

Castiel exists in ignorance for one, glorious moment. Then the weight of memory crushes into him. His chest buckles underneath the pressure. He tries to scream, but the vast emptiness swallows the sound. 

---

“Cas, we can fight this!” 

Dean, his Righteous Man, Dean, the shining beacon, his friend...The first real friend he’d ever made. Dean is ready to fight. Dean would fight God, has indeed fought God. But he can’t fight this. 

The door shudders in its frame. Blow after blow rains down on the weakening wood. Already, the wood is splintering under the assault. The thin strip of light at the bottom of the door disappears underneath a sea of writhing black. The Empty is here. It wants what it was promised.  

“Dean,” he says. He intends to say much more--It’s too late, let me go, thank you--but his voice cracks on the single syllable of Dean’s name. 

He wants to stay. God help him, but he wants to stay. 

“No, dammit Cas! You don’t get to give up! We can fight this thing, we can keep running, we can...” Dean’s voice trails off into nothing as he looks wildly around the small room. 

Though he might protest, Castiel knows that Dean is a man bailing out a sinking ship. In his heart, Dean knows the battle is already lost. But he’s still defiant, still clinging to the faintest shred of hope.

Castiel loves him for that. 

“You fought for the whole world.” Castiel’s voice is weak and pale against the ear-shattering thunder of the Empty’s attempts to break into the room. 

“Cas, no--” 

“But you can’t fight for me.” 

The words shatter something vital in him. Castiel gasps as the agony shreds through him. He thought there would be more time. He thought that happiness was an ideal that no one could ever reach. He thought there would be time, he doesn’t want to go, he wants to stay--

“Cas, I can’t...Not again, I can’t lose you again, please don’t go--” 

Black seeps into the room, slender tendrils snaking across the room towards where they stand. Castiel feels every second ticking away. He’s lived for millennia, seen worlds and empires rise and fall, felt the passing of centuries like nothing more than a passing breeze. Millions of years, and now, when it means everything, he has no time. 

Castiel cups Dean’s cheek with one shaking hand. If this is it, then he doesn’t want to leave with any regrets. “Dean,” he croaks. That word has become his compass, his prayer, the star to which he hitched his wagon. 

“I’m so sorry. I don’t want to leave you. If I had a choice, i would stay. I would stay with you through every sunrise and sunset, through every moment, the mundane and extraordinary alike.” Castiel’s voice catches in his throat as the door finally shatters and darkness pours into the room. 

“You’ve taught me everything, Dean, and I...I’m so grateful that I got to know you. Without you...” 

Castiel can’t continue. He’s immeasurably grateful for all he’s experienced with Dean, but he’s always been greedy. He wants more. He wants to see Dean’s hair continue to silver until it’s soft and grey. He wants to go fishing with Dean and discover the peace inherent in the activity. He wants to watch Jack grow into his own and Sam start a family. He wants, with a fierceness that takes his breath away. 

Darkness curls around his ankle and winds its way up his calf. 

Dean shakes his head. Tears well in his eyes but refuse to spill over, though his lower lip shakes. “Please,” he asks, tilting his head into Castiel’s palm. “I can’t...how am I supposed to do this without you?” 

Castiel starts to respond, but his voice is cut off by the swift, hard press of Dean’s lips into his. His heart jolts and gutters in his chest before it picks up again, beating so hard he thinks it might escape through the confines of his ribs. 

“I love you.” 

The words tumble out of Castiel’s mouth, the same as they did years ago when he was rotting from in the inside out. The same frantic need consumes him now as it did then, when every beat of his heart dragged him closer to the edge of oblivion, when seconds were more precious than gold, when he was so close to losing everything--

Dean sobs. He clutches the lapels of Castiel’s coat and kisses him, teeth bruising behind his lips.

Castiel’s whole lower body is engulfed in darkness so complete that it feels as though it’s ceased to exist. His whimper is lost in Dean’s mouth. 

“No,” Dean gasps, pulling away. Castiel already knows the cause of Dean’s denial. He can feel it, creeping up his chest and shoulders, slithering down to his arms. He remembers how it was to be devoured, remembers the noxious black ooze of the Leviathan crawling through him, but this is worse, is so much worse, because now he knows what Dean’s lips taste like, now he knows everything he has to lose--

“Cas, I love you,” Dean tells him, though his words echo strangely. The Empty crawls up his throat. Castiel chokes on it, but he doesn’t dare to blink. He can’t lose a second of this, of Dean’s face, horrified and tear-stricken though it is. 

Seconds tick away like centuries, Dean’s face in front of him. Castiel can’t hear what he’s saying, but he can see the words shaped on his lips. 

I’ll find you, I promise, I’m coming for you, Cas, Cas, I love--

And then. 

Empty. 

---

With the image of Dean’s face in his mind, Castiel screams. 

There is no sound in the Empty, but he screams anyway. His agony and loss pour out of him, his grief and fear. Everything that he’s lost, Dean--

Castiel screams until his voice cracks and breaks, until his throat is shredded and raw, until he tastes blood in the back of his throat. 

Hollow, he slumps to the side, curling into himself. His one consolation was that he would at least be asleep for the rest of eternity. He wouldn’t have to live with the weight of everything he’d lost. Now, even that slender comfort has been ripped from him. For the rest of time, he’ll have to exist with the memory of Dean’s glassy eyes, with the sound of Dean’s choked voice echoing through his skull, with the phantom ache of Dean’s lips against his. Castiel shudders, sobs ripping out of his throat. 

“Jesus. So much for helping.” 

Castiel blinks. The sound of another voice is foreign in this void where nothing should exist. He rolls over, looking up at the sardonic face staring down at him. 

“Ruby,” he rasps, then remembers himself. 

That’s not Ruby. 

“Go away,” he mutters. He wraps his arms around his legs, pressing his forehead to his knees. There’s no point in having pride here, not when time is meaningless and every second is a torture. The Empty already knows his secrets, though why it chose Ruby’s form to torment him is a mystery. 

“Look feathers, you were the one who screwed the pooch on this whole ‘fixing eternity’ thing. So I think I’m going to stick around for a bit.” 

“There’s no point,” Castiel says miserably. “You got what you wanted. I’m here. I’m suffering. What more could you possibly want from me?”

“Were you dropped on your halo? I told you what I wanted the last time you were here. I want out, you moron. I told you to find a way out, and you wound up here, which is kind of the opposite of what I asked.” 

Castiel blinks slowly, lifting his forehead from his knees. “Ruby?” he asks. 

Ruby rolls her eyes and sighs for dramatic effect. “Yeah, dumbo. You know, I’ve only been trying to tell you that since the beginning.” 

“I can’t trust that.” Castiel remembers all too well the last time he was here, the jolt of pleasure at seeing Meg once more only to realize that the Empty was aping her appearance to hurt him. “The Empty, it takes on your visage, your memories--”

“Yeah, you’re just going to have to trust me on this.” Ruby’s eyes flash black. “You know, as much as you can.” 

“I’d pay attention to her, Clarence. If you don’t, then she’ll probably kick your ass.” 

Castiel knows that voice. He whirls around. Meg’s face greets him, a tiny smirk twisting her lips upward. “Meg,” he whispers, an odd combination of grief and happiness twisting in his chest. 

“The one and only,” she assures him. 

A small shred of doubt clings at the back of Castiel’s mind, but he has to trust in something right now. Even if it’s two dead demons. 

“Castiel. So lovely to see you again. Though I can’t say that I agree with the company you’re keeping these days.” 

Make that three dead demons. 

“Crowley,” Castiel breathes. 

The demon looks exactly the same as he did  the day he died. His suit is pristine, down to the pocket square. He looks at Meg and Ruby with disdain before he turns that expression on Castiel. “I suppose you’re doing your biannual visit to this dump? Feel like taking any passengers out with you when you make your escape this time?” 

“I’m not...I made a deal,” Castiel whispers. He made a deal to save his son and he’ll never regret that, not for a second, but then he thinks of Dean’s face. “I’m not leaving.” 

“Oh, I wouldn’t be so negative, Cassie. You do have a way of wriggling out of the tightest of places.” 

Mingled guilt and joy sear through Castiel as he turns around. Balthazar’s familiar face looks at him. Balthazar raises an eyebrow. “No hug?” he asks. 

“I don’t understand,” Castiel breathes. Surrounded by ghosts from his past, he feels weak. “None of you should be awake. That’s the whole point of this place. All of us, asleep, forever.” 

“That’s the way it should be, but you have a habit of wrecking the natural order.” Castiel winces at Anna’s cool voice. Though there’s no real judgement in her voice, there’s also no real warmth. “It’s been changing here, ever since your last visit.” 

“I woke it up.” 

“And because you woke it up, we all started to awake as well.” Hannah’s calm voice joins their small group, though it’s growing steadily larger. “All of us, demons and angels, started awaking. At first, it was just for moments, but lately, it’s been distracted. More of us have been able to stay awake for longer. Eventually we started finding each other.” 

“That’s my boy,” Meg says, unmistakable fondness in her voice. “Shaking up the natural order, wrecking the whole of the afterlife.” 

Castiel’s eyes dart between all of them, former enemies, allies, and friends. “Is this all of you?” 

“Were you not listening? Did they not just tell you that we’ve all been waking up, at least a little bit?” 

Gabriel pops into existence next to Castiel. Despite himself, Castiel jerks back in surprise. 

“So, what’s it going to be, Cas? Are you going to just pop out of here like always?” Crowley brings Castiel’s brain back to the present. 

When he made his deal, he made it with full awareness that there was no coming back. He accepted that burden because he knew it was the only way he could save Jack. 

But that was before he felt Dean’s lips against his, before he heard the words fall from Dean’s mouth. I love you. 

When he made the deal, he had never heard those words directed at him. When he made the deal, he had nothing to fight for. 

Now he does.

He made a choice long ago. You don’t have to be ruled by Fate. You can choose freedom. 

Castiel looks at all of them, demons and angels alike, and makes a choice. 

“We’ve got work to do.” 

[misha-moose-dean-burger-lover]

"Goddamn slinkies." Dean lets out, softened voice brimming with nostalgia and affection, as he stares at the colorful coil on the library table.

"Huh?" Sam looks up.

"Goddamn giant, rainbow slinkies." Dean swears, expression miles away from his words. His lips are parted in innocent wonder, and curled a smidge at the corner in just a hint of a smile. His green eyes are graphic, opened wide, and they glitter - at least from where Cas sits.

"Is that a toy?" Cas asks, curious. His eyes are narrowed, and eyebrows still pinched together from all the concentrated reading.

"What? No." Dean throws back, almost defensive. "It's a slinky!" That doesn't really help absolve his confusion, but Cas deems it alright to nod at that. "We won this, like, a couple thousand cases back at a Plucky Pennywhistle's Magical Menagerie."

Cas's eyebrows go up.

"We?" Sam repeats, sounding incredulous but mostly just poking fun. Oh, curse his freakish memory. "Dude. I won you that, because you were doing the toystore equivalent of pining from afar."

Dean makes a face at him, while Cas quips in. "So it is a toy."

"Screw you both," Dean gets up, picking up his slinky. Because that's all he's going to let himself think of it, as. Dean Winchester, hunter of forty rugged years, doesn't play with toys. Hence, it's not a friggin' toy. "I don't need to take this. I'll be in my room if you find anything on the vamp-shifters."

As he walks off, his brother and Cas proceed to talk. Not like he's trying to listen, but he catches a few sentences.

"You're right, Jack would like it."

"Perhaps I should win him one, if that's what family does." The voice is definitely Cas's. "Who do I have to win it from?"

"More like a what, Cas." There's a pause. "And more like lots of what's. Look -"

Out of earshot at this point, Dean continues stalking to his room, though his brain stays stuck in the hallway, as it tries to figure out the rest of that conversation.

He places his slinky on the bed, and leans back against the wood of his bedframe. It was obviously hilarious that Cas assumed these things had to be won against fighters, in battle. Though Dean wonders if he actually thought so, or was just pulling the pretend-oblivious act, just because.

Cas was weird, but he had that squint Dean was pretty sure was reserved just for him, and that voice, and he can just express his desire to win slinkies for his kid as means of conforming to familial tradition, out loud. He purposefully loses at Connect Four, and is crappy at holding his badge straight, and wears Dean's ancient band t-shirts in the summer, and thinks his burgers are quote-unquote wonderful.

Fuck weird - Cas is infuriatingly perfect, and goddammit, sometimes it can hit really hard how much Dean loves him.

God-friggin'-damn it.

*

"Dean?" Cas stops mid-step, entering the garage, and greets him with a puzzled stare - because Dean's not usually found wandering alone by the cars, in the middle of the day, and because staring is kind of their thing.

"Get in, and we'll talk?" Dean grins in return, waving the keys to the Impala in the air.

If Cas is going out to a ridiculous restaurant chain to win giant slinkies for Jack, Dean's driving him there. Hell, he might even win Cas something, if he's feeling lucky - like a discount on dessert, in case they stop to have lunch.

"I'd like to come with." Dean explains, uncertain now, posture bordering on shy. "If you don't mind."

Cas smiles. "Of course."

And then they're settling in on opposite edges of Baby's front seat, Cas muttering a smug, "Shotgun," and Dean objectively losing it because angels he's in love with have no business being that adorable about seating arrangements, and then finally, he turns the key and the engine roars to life, and they're off.

*

(Indeed, it's a weird series of events, even by their standards, leading to their first kiss ever, happening in the parking lot of a Plucky Pennywhistle's Magical Menagerie; branch: Lawrence, Kansas.)