#love that you can even see that i've listened to all of these

[igotanidea]

The little bean: Anthony Bridgerton x pregnant!wife!reader

A/N: So..... After my "Too much" series I've been asked to do something with Antony and pregnancy trope. And since 1) I got baby fever and 2) Bridgertons are back, there is no better time than now.

***

“Y/N, my love, what are you doing?”

“I’m holding a book…?”

Ever since Y/N found out she was pregnant with the heir (which she would rather address as her precious little baby, instead of giving him titles before he or she was even born) Anthony entered right into an overprotective mood. If anything he would just keep her home, away from any prying eyes, that – in his opinion – might somehow take a look inside, at his baby and perhaps, see the little one before it came into the view of a proud viscount father.

Y/N could barely walk around the Bridgerton household, let alone the garden, without her husband chasing after her with a very concerned look, ready to carry her wherever she wished, just so that her feet wouldn’t touch the ground.

There were so many dangers on the way after all.

Wild animals. (i.e. bees, dogs and strays cats)

Speeding carriages.

Stones on which she might trip and fall.

Too much sun.

Too little sun.

And worst of all-

Members of the ton.

It was merely the first trimester and viscountess was torn between calming Anthony down (tactfully avoiding the information that the next months will be much more challenging) or just rushing away to her mother-in-law (yet, again) to seek aid in keeping him in check.

And just when she thought the oldest Bridgerton could not get any more obsessive, he took the lecture she was reading out of her hands.

“My dear, you cannot carry such weights. It’s straining and I am to protect you from threats.”

“It’s a book…” she frowned a little, but not without a hint of amusement in her voice

“It’s heavy.”  

“It's a 200 page novel…”

“It’s heavy.” Anthony’s voice was gentle, but firm. Both demanding and pleading.

“Anthony…”

“Y/N.”

“I can hold my own book.”

“We got servants for that.  In fact – let me call upon your maid and –“ he started walking towards the door in sheer purpose to liberate his dearest wife from the unnecessary burden.

Nonetheless his dearest wife had quite a different plan, reaching to grab his hand and stopping him in his tracks.

“My love. Please, come. Let us sit.” She guided him to the ottoman, still keeping the soft touch that was grounding to him.

Much to her surprise Anthony rushed to the furniture first, fixing pillows and blankets so Y/N could sit comfortably. And apparently that word, in his language, meant sitting half a meter in the air, covered from head to toe, regardless of the perfect spring weather outside.

“Here. Perfect.” He flashed a perfect smile, content with the spot he made for her.

“Anthony…”

“Yes, my love?” as he spun around meeting with her desperate look, the smile slowly disappeared from his face. “Y/N? Are you not feeling well?” Anthony grabbed both her hands in his, searching her face for any symptoms of malaise, dizziness, nausea. “Do you need some water? Or-“

“No, no, Anthony, please just listen to me for a moment-“

“Perhaps I should call upon Daphne, she already had a child of her own and she would be of help. Or maybe my mother could-“

“Anthony!” she laughed whole-heartedly at his  feverishness “I am not going to give birth in the fourth month of pregnancy! Please just calm down.”

“Just say a word and I’ll call for a medic immediately. Do not fret my dearest, I will take the best care of you. I swear on my life that-“

At that moment Y/N used the most effective way to stop his blubbering in the form of putting his hand on her slightly rounded belly in which their baby was healthily growing.

“Shh.” She whispered, putting her own palm on top of Anthony's, calming him down, letting him caress the stomach in hope to make him calm down. “It’s okay. Everything’s okay. I don’t need medic. Nor your mother. And certainly not your younger sister. I am feeling good and the only thing that concerns me is my husband's distress over nothing.”

“Nothing? You are carrying our baby!”

“And our baby needs his father to stop fretting.”

“But-“

“Here!” her eyes grew wide as she guided his hand to another place “did you feel it?”

“Was it--?” Anthony’s face expression mirrored the one of his wife.

“It kicked…” she whispered as their gazes met and for a second that extended into eternity, they just kept looking into each other’s eyes expressing so many feelings.

And then, almost as if in a dream, Anthony fell to his knees in front of Y/N, pressing his head into her belly.

“Our baby.” He whispered, kissing her body through the material of the dress. “our little baby.” He wrapped arms around her midsection with his ear pressed to the home of the child, almost hoping to hear him or her inside.

“Our baby…” she repeated with tears in her eyes. Despite knowing and obviously – feeling the imminent arrival of the new family member it was the first time she actually felt and knew. And it was beautiful. Her little bean was really there. Growing and waiting for the right moment to appear in the world, landing right into the waiting, safe arms of loving mother and father.      

“Do you think it can hear us?” Anthony pressed one ear to her stomach, his entire face lighting up at the possibility.

“Depends.” She chuckled

“On what?” his eyes travelled up to meet hers.

“If I say yes, will that mean you start talking to my insides?”

Anthony smirked.

“I will do that, even if you say no.”

“Then why the question?”

“Testing your knowledge.”

“I am not a doctor, Anthony. My expertise in the area might be a little limited.”

“Very well. Then give me an answer as a mother, not a medic.”

“Yes. Yes, I think it can hear us.” She cupped Anthony’s cheek in the affectionate gesture. There was something utterly heartening in seeing him like this. Holding her (and/or the baby) like she was the most precious thing in the world, needing the assurance that his child was already reaching to him.

That it could hear him, even if it wasn’t even born yet. Hoping for the love of the Lord that it was truly happening. That in a few months, that were going to pass by with extraordinary speed, the little one, a girl or a boy, would take a corporal form. That the viscount would not only be a noble and a husband but would also take on the new role – a father. A protector. Caregiver. A teacher, guardian and a guide. That somehow – his life would be complete. He’ll have his own little family. Something that was nearly impossible to him a few years prior.

And now-

“Anthony…” Y/N whispered, wiping a single tear from his eyes. “Sweetheart, what is wrong?”

“Nothing. Nothing is wrong, love. It’s all perfect.”

“Then why are you-?”

“I’m not.” He cleared his throat and gathered himself.

“Of course not.” She laughed softly brushing his hair. “But if you’d want to actually talk to the baby, that would stay in this little circle.”

Anthony smiled lovingly, grateful for having his miracle of a woman in his life. She understood him so perfectly well.

“We’re waiting for you, little one.” He whispered against her attire, with a little muffled voice, be it from emotions or closeness of his lips on her body. “You are already loved by two people, with more to come.”

‘You can say it Anthony…” Y/N whispered, knowing what he was holding back.

“I love you my little one.” The viscount whispered with the softest voice, caressing the place where the kick was previously felt.

And they stood like that for a while longer, enjoying that moment of joy and thinking about the future that looked quite bright. 

[grandline-fics]

Hiiiii this is my first time requesting something so sorry if this doesn’t make any sense, but is it okay if you do some silly Headcanons of Ace, Shanks, or Crocodile with a serious s/o that is just the complete opposite when seeing something cute like a puppy??

DESCRIPTION: You’re completely serious until you see something cute

WARNINGS: nothing comes to mind

CHARACTERS: Ace, Shanks, Crocodile

WORDS: 1,933

A/N: Thank you for this request, sorry you had to wait so long for this and I hope you like how it turned out.

I've been making the most of this burst of energy and feeling well by getting as much writing done as I can. Here's hoping it lasts. As always thank you all for reading. Enjoy

*REQUESTS ARE OPEN*

MASTERLIST | PROMPT LIST

———————

ACE

You were a naturally serious person and you couldn’t help it. Sure you enjoyed spending time with the people you loved and cared about but when it came to expressing that emotion, especially a smile that went beyond the brief upturn of the corner of your mouth it was a rare occurrence. You made no turn to apologise for your personality, those that knew you had no doubt about how loving and loyal you were and they wouldn’t change you for anything. Ace especially adored you just the way you were. Besides he was the one that smiled constantly so he would always say you both balanced each other out perfectly. 

There was also another reason why he liked how your smile and expressions of light-heartedness were so rare. He loved that they were mostly reserved for him and if anyone else got to see them then they’d try and take you from him. Obviously Ace knew that was impossible but he still liked to think of something that was intimately yours and his. However one day Ace and the rest of the crew stumbled across a sure fire way to get passed your natural stoicism completely by accident and it was all Ace’s doing. 

“Hey check it out! My little brother’s crew got posters!” Ace called out the the crew one day with a proud grin as he read over the story that accompanied the Strawhat crew’s introductory bounties. Playfully you rolled your eyes despite your expression remaining as calm as always as you approached your boyfriend. You’d heard him talk countless times about his little brother and had heard about the small crew he’d assembled from the time Ace briefly reunited with them in Alabasta but apart from the Captain and his second in command, Zoro you hadn’t seen their appearances until now. 

“They attacked Enies Lobby?” You asked, letting out a low whistle of respect at the new crew’s reckless actions. The rest of the crew listening finally took notice too, all of them could repeat Ace’s adoring speeches about Luffy word for word by now so hadn’t really taken noticed of the second division commander’s announcement until now. “At least they know how to get the world’s attention.” You mused, taking the pile of posters into your hand to inspect the totals. Your eyes flicked over the likes of Luffy, Zoro, and Robin with familiarity. They already had bounties so it was nothing new. For Sanji, Nami, Franky, and Usopp you took in their features to recognise them in future. In Ace’s mind his little brother’s crew were like family too.

Finally you pulled out the last poster and a strange noise broke from your lips, startling everyone in the crew as they looked at you. The noise had been shocking enough but to see your eyes all but sparkling and giddy smile light your face threw them off even more. “He’s so cute!” You grinned at the picture of Chopper in your hands, overcome by the adorable reindeer. “Ace! Why did you hide this from me!”

“I did!” Ace protested, recovering faster than the others since he’d been privileged to see this side of you before. “I told you there was a reindeer thing on Luffy’s crew!” Wincing when you lightly flicked his forehead.

“He’s not a thing! He’s adorable!” You admonished before smiling broadly at the bounty photo again. ”He looks so soft, I just want to hug him.” Ace watched you with a deepening pout, jealous suddenly of a photo and hoped you and the reindeer never crossed paths.

SHANKS

Sometimes your seriousness felt like a curse when you were on Shanks’ crew. While everyone else followed their Captain’s whims of adventure and revelry without any thought of consequences or limitations, you felt alone at times in being the one to offer a voice of reason when the occasion called for it. While you knew your crew was an immensely strong one, practically undefeated you also knew how quickly the tide could turn against anyone who wasn’t careful. In the unpredictability and cruelty of the life you’d all chosen for yourselves, it was better to be safe than sorry. When you and Shanks became a partnership in a physical and romantic sense, that weight of having to be the serious and level-headed one only seemed to increase. 

Thankfully Shanks was the perfect partner to have, even before you were a couple he would boast to anyone that would listen that he knew you’re every emotion despite the neutral and serious expression you had. As imperceivable as you appeared to many, Shanks could read you like a book. It was also a little infuriating that he knew your weaknesses and what would make you show your feelings a little more to others. You don’t even know how it happened but Shanks liked to make a game out of it, whoever could make you a full smile got anything they wanted. Obviously Shanks wasn’t allowed to take part and the game was only when you permitted it such as when you were all in a safe territory. In all the crew’s attempts no-one had ever won. 

On one evening you sat beside Shanks as you waited patiently for the others to start making their first of many turns to get a reaction out of you. As always, everyone that was taking part was filled with swagger and ‘had the winning technique’ but after a couple hours with your expression as unmoving as always, the bolster had ebbed into mass dejection and turning to their drinks for consolation. The only people truly enjoying their night were those that knew better than to try and Shanks who laughed happily and pulled you close. “Imagine if they found out how easy it was.” He grinned in your ear. Quickly you glanced at him, amusement in your eyes while you expression was masterfully neutral. 

Just as you were about to relax you heard a rustling behind you and you looked towards the noise while the others paid no notice. Which was why they hadn’t known what took your attention until you’d gotten out of your seat to investigate and you let out a surprised squeal when you found what it was. Having never heard the sound from you before the crew was frozen in place and their eyes bugged out when you reappeared, the largest adoring smile on your face aimed at the bundle of fur in your arms. 

“You’ve gotta be kidding me!” Ben muttered as he watched you settle back into your seat beside Shanks, your attention raptly on what he now saw what the answer to Shanks’ game was. “A kitten? They smile for a kitten.”

“Well anything cute, but yeah.” Shanks grinned, looking over your shoulder to lightly scratch under the kitten’s chin as it purred. 

“He’s just like you Shanks, look.” You cooed, the smile never leaving your face as you adjusted the kitten against your chest to show it only had three legs. “He’s coming with us, by the way.” You added before getting lost in pouring affection onto the tiny creature. Shanks let out a small amused huff. All the other times you’d pleaded to bring all the cute animals you came across onto the ship, he had to restrain himself from giving in to your every wish and tell you no, this time however there was no room for arguing and he wasn’t going to if it meant he got to enjoy your smile more.  

CROCODILE

“Crocodile, you might want to go to do some damage control before they murder someone.” Crocodile looked up from his stack of paperwork to see Mihawk had already left his doorway. There was only one person that the swordsman would warn him about, you. With a heavy breath he rose and walked down the hallway and opened the door to see you sitting at your desk, papers fisted tightly in one hand while the other was clamped against your head as you tried to rub the knot causing a tension headache away. Slowly you lifted your head at stared at your lover with cold fury. 

“If that clown blows the budget I’ve assigned him one more time I’ll kill him and I don’t care how valuable he is to the face of this business.” You seethed, watching him approach and set himself against the edge of the large desk. You eyed him evenly watching as a growing smirk appeared on his handsome face. Obviously you didn’t share his humour in this situation but then again you were the outwardly colder of the couple. Compared to your constantly serious expression, Crocodile came across as a sweetheart. When his large hand fell over yours and lightly coaxed your fist to relaxed you only then realised how tightly you’d been holding the now wrecked papers. With a sigh you discarded them with a swipe before returning your hand to Crocodile’s hold. “Out of curiosity, is there anyway we can just get rid of him and hire a normal clown to take his place?”

“As much as I’d love to fulfil your wish, my love sadly he’s needed and the Marines would notice a fake.” Crocodile chuckled.

“You give them too much credit.” You muttered evenly, you had more faith in Buggy’s ability to stick to a spending budget than you did in the Marines as a whole. You glared at your ruined paperwork that had caused your anger and the untouched bundle of work that you couldn’t bring yourself to touch. Sitting back in your seat, you dropped your free hand to pinch the bridge of your nose while your eyes closed slowly. 

“Headache still there?” He asked, watching you nod. Crocodile made a note to punish Buggy in his own way later on but at this moment you were the priority and he grinned triumphantly when the surprise he was withholding until later on was now just what you needed. Crocodile stood and pulled your hand, a silent request for you to stand. “Come on, I know what will help.”

“Unless it’s putting a sea prism stone boot up the clown’s ass I’m not in the mood.” 

“Oh come now, entertain me.” Crocodile urged smoothly, leading you out of the office and down the corridors. “I’ve never steered you wrong have I?”

“Apart from seducing me, corrupting my innocent soul, and leading me into a life of crime? No.” You said sarcastically earning a laugh from your lover. The only thing he was guilty of in that list was seducing you. You were already a criminal and far from innocent when he met you. 

When you both approached the basement you gave Crocodile a suspicious look before realisation hit you. Without him needing to say anything you hurried into the area only you and he entered, the Bananawari enclosure. You approached the warmest section and gasped in excitement to see heavy cracks had appeared in the cluster of eggs in the centre. Crocodile smirked as he stood beside you, it seemed your timing couldn’t have been more perfect. In moments the eggs broke open and the newest additions of his pets appeared eliciting an excited laugh from you. With a bright smile that only Crocodile got to see you started to talk affectionately to the newborns as someone else would a puppy or baby. To him there was no better sight in the world.

“Oh you’re all so precious, yes you are.” You grinned. “Would you all like to meet your dear, possibly delicious Uncle Buggy?”

-----------------------------------------------

TAG LIST (If I've missed anyone or if you want to be added just let me know) @3v37773, @tsaaps , @i-am-all-love-puns-and-lazy , @sanemisnonexistenteyebrow , @fiery-captain-spider-santa

[madlori]

If the only thing you can lord over buddie is that bucktommy is canon, then you really didn't care at all about the ship.

7 seasons of being a family unit, being there for each other, having each other's back but hey! Here comes another underdeveloped love interest, but since it's a man this time, you don't care about Buck being stuck in the same hamster wheel, again, because he's kissing a man and that's hot 🙄

Also for all your doom and gloom about buddie not happening, do remember that Tommy/Eddie was an idea in Tim's mind at first, so Eddie can be read as queer, even if it's not in canon yet.

I guess you don't place much value on them being a family unit and always there for each other, and having each other's back...all of which is still true and will continue to BE true. But it's only important to you as a prelude to them kissing, right? It has no value in and of itself. I love their relationship. I love what they are to each other. But YOU are making me not want to see it, because every time they turn to each other, lean on each other, support each other, we have to listen to you shrieking BUDDIE CANON CONFIRMED or whatever, because to a certain genre of shipper (not all buddie shippers, etc) any interaction or feeling they have with each other exists only in service to the ship.

I swear to god, I'm gonna banish the phrase "hamster wheel" from y'all's mouths until I get an actual definition as to what you think it means, because from where I sit, to you it just means "he's with someone who's not Eddie." To me, it means that Buck continually fell bass-ackwards into relationships that weren't right for him, looking for something he wasn't even sure what it was. And heyyyyy, he's currently in a relationship that he actively chose and fought for, having learned something new and important about himself, with someone who makes him giddy and excited in a way we have never seen him be, who the people around him can see gives him contentment. But none of that matters, because it's not Eddie, and that is by definition his only appropriate partner, so he must still be on that hamster wheel. Also if we're going by creator intent here, Tim's said he wrote this relationship specifically to reflect Buck being off of it.

As for underdeveloped love interest? I wrote an entire ass essay about how MUCH we know about Tommy, and it's reams compared to anything we've ever known about Buck's girlfriends OR Eddie's current girlfriend who does not even have a last name. Tommy has been introduced in a way that integrates him with the 118, with multiple interests, a character arc of his own from his first appearance, a set of motivations and emotional arcs that are NOT about Buck, and something to actually offer in a relationship besides existing. Anyone saying he's underdeveloped is determined to read him as such, especially for the limited amount of time we've had him.

And I never said Eddie couldn't be read as queer. He can EASILY be read as queer. I said he WOULDN'T be. Those are two different things. If Tommy and Eddie had gotten together (which I give no more narrative weight to than Maddie and Eddie getting together, which was also a gleam in the eye at one point) I'd equally be saying that Buck would never be queer.

It's hilarious to me that I'm being accused of liking a ship because it's hot (it is, and I do, and that's...fine? there's nothing bad about that?) as if people enjoy Buddie because of the amorphous purity of it all and not at ALL because it's hot (it is and you should say so).

If my thoughts about this are so upsetting to you, just block me, dude. I promise I won't take it personally.

Also, just...learn to enjoy a ship whether it's canon or not. I've done it, we've all done it. It's not that hard, especially THIS ship, which has so much good stuff to it regardless of whether there's romance or not. Those of us who like Buck with Tommy are not taking away from you enjoying Buddie, or anyone doing so. It's not like...the State of Buddie will lose congressional representation if the population falls below a certain level. The existence of another ship does not affect yours.

[bubblesnd]

Summary:you and ghost fight

some angst sorry 🥲

Pairing:ghost x reader

Warnings:fighting, some name calling, hurt/no comfort, toxic relationship, gn!reader, no use of y/n.

𝑀𝐷𝑁𝐼 18+

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ 𝑁𝑆𝐹𝑊 18+☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

You saw this coming, your parents warned you, your friends. But you didn't listen you thought you could fix him. You could blame it on your upbringing. Simon was so closed off. Anytime you brought something up it was brushed off with makeup sex. He was gone on a deployment and here you are sitting on the bed with a packed suitcase. You planned on leaving, with no traces left behind moving countries and covering your tracks.

But you hear the door open and the familiar steps of your (ex) boyfriend. He finds you and you can see the anger in his eyes even through the mask. "What the bloody hell is this!?" He yells. You stand "I'm leaving you simon!, I can't do this anymore" you yell back tears pricking your eyes. "I get back from a 6 month deployment and this is how you repay me!" He yells getting in your face.

Tears start streaking your face as you turn away. "Don't turn away!" He yells turning you around. "You know what simon everyone was right about you, you are just a selfish prick who only cares about himself!" You scream. Unable to stop the words falling from your mouth. "I've tried and tried and tried but you don't care! When I try to talk to you I get brushed off because all you care about is wetting your stupid dick!" You keep going. "You are a selfish man a heartless monster" you scream.

Ghosts heart sinks he never meant for you to feel this way. Usually he wouldn't care but it's you his love. "You can't leave" he states. "You don't get to make that decision ghost" you yell back. Ghost you called him ghost for the first time. It broke his heart watching you cry because of him. But the other part of him hates you and that it's dangerous to let you close. Both sides clashing for power to win. He turns and walks out "fine do what you want" acting like he doesn't care. Believing you would never leave him.

➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶

When returning home he sighs thinking you're in bed. But the house is quiet eerily so. He walks to the bedroom finding the bed empty and cold. He frantically searches hoping you haven't actually left. Just to find a note taped to the fridge that reads

➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶

𝑫𝒆𝒂𝒓 𝒔𝒊𝒎𝒐𝒏

𝑰 𝒄𝒂𝒏'𝒕 𝒅𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒚𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆. 𝒑𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒆 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒎𝒆.

𝑻𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒎𝒂𝒚𝒃𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖'𝒍𝒍 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒍.

𝑮𝒐𝒐𝒅𝒃𝒚𝒆

➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶

He grips the note in a tight fist as tears threaten to spill. He was stupid and selfish and now he lost the very thing that he loves the most. He'll give you space for now until he can find where you went. So he can beg for your forgiveness and hope you take him back.

[nalyra-dreaming]

I'm sure you've heard already but ppl on Twitter tearing sentiment about Louis entering relationship with Armand for protection TO SHREDS. Going off how flirty Louis looked on the date. I just have two question for them:

1)What is that happened after that date that would've made Louis change his heart? (Sarcasm) Yes, Louis clearly boldly flirted with Armand there (lets ignore lestat third-wheeling and Louis taking photos of lestat with Armand being at the side). And AFTER he nearly died by Armand's hand. And Assad confirmed that Armand was planning to kill him, it wasn't just a sham. So, it's understandable that Louis started to look at Armand differently there.

2)"it's also the beginning of the ultimatum with Armand and the beginning of the darker side of their relationship" from Jacob's mouth. They need to look up definition of ultimatum. It's a CONDITION usually combined with a threat. We're being NICE when discuss this scene because I haven't seen single person imply that Armand was pressuring Louis into sex. All I saw people saying this situation happened unintentionally on Armand's part because he's used to power plays, toxic relationship etc

People are sooo hypocritical in this fandom. They SWEAR they love toxic love stories but get scared by toxicity. Bet same people who are pissed about this believe that Louis didn't want sex in ep6 and that he did it to appease lestat. Picking and choosing where to see abuse and where don't.

Also it seems like some give more importance to reviews than cast's interviews. I read reviews and read about tender romantic loumand in Paris.

I also heard Hannah saying that cage in bedroom was intentional. I also read jacob saying Armand is dark looming presence and that he serves function to Louis and that Louis becomes dissatisfied. There was a lot in Jacob's interviews actually.

Reviews and interviews don't always say the same thing, sometimes even contradict each other (Assad and Eric mentioning devil's minion and reviews saying there's nothing between them). And you would think people will focus on words of someone who WORKS on the show, but they prefer to hear only things that support their headcanons

Tbh, I have been taken aback by how willingly everyone is jumping/hating on that post (and, I mean, I have pointed out the same thing???), because... it completely dismisses what Assad and Jacob have said...

AND it completely dismisses Jacob's acting there.

Really look at him. I'm not going to pull up the gifs now, it's the current episode, go look at Louis' face and expression and body language... and then remember what his "inner Lestat" said.

And we all know how good an actor Jacob is, right.

I mean. The fandom dismissing what cast and creators say in favor of accusations is nothing new. God knows I've ranted about this. But... I mean... how can you think Louis, after Armand almost kills him... would just happily enter a relationship? When he just asked to be decapitated??? When the only thing that stopped him - was Armand's comment that Claudia wouldn't be around for long.

THAT is, as far as the tale is currently spun, what made Louis stop. Literally.

Jacob said that it would go darker from here and I... don't doubt it. But I think some people are not prepared, lol.

Dubai is a golden cage, by intent and set design as stated. And Louis was "the little birdie for the next 50 years".

Or does anybody really think the overlay with the coven telling Claudia that was a coincidence....

Or wonder why AMC did not promote Loumand as a couple... at all.

I'm just glad the gag orders have dropped away, at least I can listen now to Assad, Jacob, Sam and Rolin telling it like it is.

[rainba]

Listen, I love, love, love, Luka so much… however…. I feel like he’s missing something. Maybe I’m just having trouble envisioning him in my head. It may be that I can’t read people very well so I don’t really know if he likes me, but I wanna see the look on his face after I kiss him for the first time. I wanna see the reaction to my fear when he threatens me. I wanna see how his body reacts so my touch. I love him, but for me, I feel like he’s missing a little pizazze in comparison to Kairos. Thank you so much! This is in no way critiquing Luka, his character or your writing, I just wanna have a better idea of him in my head.

(Can I be 🏵️ anon? I’ve sent in a few asks before this so yay :))

Thank you for the questions! It actually has me thinking more about Luka and his entire character as a whole.

I think that is a big part of Luka: it's hard to get a read on him.

Luka is a man who typically has something of a flat affect. Nothing in life particularly interests him; everything is somewhat boring. He's mastered the art of faking emotions around other people.

There's a part of him that has always wanted to feel something more. A part of him that yearns to know what it's like to love and be loved, what it's like to feel alive.

When he falls for you, he finally gets to feel all of the things he's been (basically) missing out on.

When Luka first kisses you, he freezes in place, his heart skipping a beat as his lips finally meet yours.

When your hands touch his body, he feels an unfamiliar warmth in his chest. All he wants is for you to touch him even more.

When he sees the way you squirm due to his teasing, he can't help but feel pure adoration, smirking all the while.

All of these things, all of these brand-new feelings... It makes him want to possess you entirely.

When Luka falls in love with you, he's willing to do anything to have you, it doesn't matter how horrible it is. By leaving him behind, you're essentially taking his life away.

But also... Luka is just a man who likes to have control; control over both himself and others. It's in his nature.

I think you're right in the sense that he's somewhat missing something- it's probably because I haven't really focused or honed in on the side of him that can't control the new emotions he feels when he's around you.

I haven't really explored the love-struck, obsessive side of him.

I mostly tend to focus on his thirst for control and his deep sense of possessiveness.

I think it'd be interesting to explore that other side of him more! ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

Luka definitely keeps his emotions extremely well hidden. He could be sweating nervously, his heart pounding in his chest, mind going blank, and he'd still have a neutral expression.

My original intentions for Luka were to have him be a more dominant, stoic, possessive man with a predator/prey dynamic between him and his darling. However, as I kept writing for him, I added on the fact that his darling is the first person to ever make him feel alive.

So, basically: a cold, emotionless character who finally feels warmth and life via meeting his darling, and he quickly grows obsessed with you. I also wanted him to struggle with managing these new-found emotions, but I really haven't done that very much at all...

I'll definitely keep your words in mind as I proceed with writing more stories about him! I've explored Luka's possessive and more animalistic side well enough, but I think it would be interesting for me to dive in to his mind and pick him apart even more.

With Kairos, what you see is what you get, basically. A super obsessive, creepy, doting, emo loser yandere guy... His personality is strong, to put it lightly! ^^;;;;;

While I try to keep my characters consistent for the most part, I also try to remember that tweaking a few of their weak spots wouldn't be such a bad thing.

My ultimate goal for my characters is this:

I want to make characters that are deeply flawed, but still loveable. Characters that could be good people, but the love and obsession that they feel for their darlings ultimately lead them to doing horrible things.

Kairos is someone who's been told his entire life that he's an unlovable freak, so he eventually grows to accept the title, and he's willing to dive into depravity.

Luka is someone who has earned love and respect from others by learning to fake his emotions and fit in with society. He's never been truly loved, and he's never truly felt love either. Luka feels no real attachment to a majority of the people around him, so he doesn't truly care if they think he's a freak when he does something depraved.

Ace is someone who's desperate to get everyone's approval and is absolutely ashamed by his depraved urges. He tries his hardest to be a good person, but ultimately, he is a victim to his impulsivity and desires.

I think with Luka, it's a lot harder to depict his character... Kairos and Ace have something strong right from the get-go, while with Luka, I have to slowly unwrap him...

I'll definitely be making future plans to develop Luka's character more soon. He's a man who's done lots of horrible things in the posts I've made, but there's been very little done to counteract the bad.

To be honest, part of Ace's purpose is to help humanize Luka a bit more, which I plan on further developing in the near future.

But, uh... Really... As much as I love my characters and love writing/thinking about them, I know that none of it is really that serious. ^^;;;;;;;

I have a passion for making characters, I find it to be incredibly fun!! It's- probably a little obvious- so...

If anyone has any comments, I'm open to hear them! I'm trying to get better at taking critiques, too. ╮(￣ω￣;)╭

And, yes, you can be 🏵️ anon! Thank you for sending the ask!

Despite everything I've said about Luka and all my doubts with writing him... I still love him ღ He's my silly little creature

[thalialunacy]

[for the @calaisreno May Promptosaurus Rex; cw for toddler stuff, eg 💩 & 🤮]

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15) (16) (17) (18) 19: weather

'A-ha! We did it!' John says, possibly too chuffed as he holds up a freshly changed and dressed Rosie. 'We--'

She makes a very distinctive face, then grunts. John eyes her. 'Tell me that face doesn't mean what I think it means.'

Then he does the sniff test, and yes. Yes, it does mean that.

He lays her down yet again, fond exasperation tugging at his lips. 'Wee girl, why do you do this to me?' His mum has used the endearment on Harry their whole lives, so it's comfortable on his tongue as he reaches for wipes and a new nappy -- only to discover the stashes depleted. As in… nill.

John rolls several expletives around his teeth. But then Rosie giggle-gurgles up at him, and he swoops in to expel his breath instead on her cheek in the form of a huge raspberry. He almost doesn't hear the knock on the door.

He pauses, but then shrugs and picks her up. 'Sorry, sweetheart. Let's go see who's at the door, yeah?'

She is notably non-nonplussed. 'Livery?'

'Might be,' John replies as he reaches the building door and opens it. 'And it is!' His daughter claps and immediately reaches out for the spotty young man trying to wrestle a rather large box. 'Whoa, there.' John reins her back in; she wants to be friends with everyone, which is both endearing and alarming.

'Do I need to sign?' he says to the carrier, who, now that John's looking, isn't wearing any sort of uniform. He looks like a dishboy haphazardly and temporarily promoted.

'No, sir. I'm to bring it up to the flat.'

A seed of a thought germinates in John's head. 'That was your instruction?'

The lad nods, clearly trying not to show his impatience. John holds back a sigh, and opens the door wider to let him pass. 'By all means.'

And it's as John expected: Wipes, diaper rash cream, and nappies. They're even--though he really shouldn't be surprised--the correct size.

As soon as Rosie's changed (again), he's got his phone out.

'I trust the delivery made it in time?' Mycroft answers.

John spares them both the niceties. 'How?'

'Nothing untoward, I assure you. Sherlock texted me.'

'Right. And where is he?' They may have an… evolving relationship, but Sherlock is still Sherlock, and John can also admit he only vaguely remembers what the detective had said when he'd left earlier in the day.

'I believe the words "spleen" and "unidentified poison" are involved.'

'Excellent. Listen.' He clears his throat. 'I'll pay you back.'

'My mother would call that "vulgar," as you know.'

'And she's a lovely woman, but--'

'Discuss it with Sherlock, please. I've got work and must get back to it.'

He rings off. John stares at his phone.

Death by Holmes. That's it. That will be how his life ends.

---

Rosie has broken the laws of physics and/or cloned herself. She has. She must have.

That's the only explanation for the sheer reach of mess he finds waiting for him after his clinic hours the next day. 'Bloody hell,' he breathes, standing in the flat's doorway and taking it in.

It's more than the usual whirlwind that happens when Sherlock's between cases and takes Rosie for the day - He claims loftily that he's putting her through intellectual paces, but really he just indulges her every whim, including her lack of enthusiasm for cleaning up. And it's not as if the flat was shining and organised to begin with.

John doesn't even have the bandwidth to log all the bits of chaos surrounding him. For heaven's sake, he hadn't even known they owned bubble solution. But, then again, they don't now, judging by the rather large soapy stain on the rug in front of the window, and the family of tipped-over empty bottles next to it.

'John!' he hears from Sherlock's bedroom. 'Come join us!'

He rolls his eyes, but goes anyway. The noises make it clear as to what they're doing, and John hangs his head before pushing open the door. He'd been hoping to at least have one nice mattress in the flat for a bit longer.

But no, currently Sherlock is holding onto an absolutely delighted toddler while, obviously, jumping up and down on the bed like he's seven. Actually, John fleetingly wonders if Sherlock even got to do such things when he was seven--

'Come on, John!'

--and the unabashed joy in Sherlock's eyes tells him his answer. With that, the resistance whooshes out of him. He toes off his shoes and joins them.

'We're testing the durability,' Sherlock explains, loudly, then swoops Rosie like an aeroplane.

John laughs, huffs of air as he jumps and watches his daughter. She seems to be enjoying herself, except-- 'I think she might--' He stops, reaches out. 'Sherlock, she's going to v--'

With a small noise of surprise, Rosie is, indeed, sick. The remnants of whatever they'd had for tea form a lovely puddle on Sherlock's expensive sheets.

The grown-ups both manage to avoid it, scrambling backwards and into each other, somehow. John, lungs tight, reaches for his daughter, not caring that she's got sick all down her front. 'My girl,' he says, going for soothing, knowing her reaction could go either way. 'Did that surprise you?'

Rosie, wide-eyed, lets out a small hiccough. Then her face crumples, and she starts to sob.

'Oh dear,' Sherlock says faintly.

John, because he's a bastard, feels laughter start to bubble up in his lungs.

Then he hears Sherlock repressing chuckles next to him, and the floodgates are open, them laughing together like errant schoolboys.

'We musn't giggle near an ill child!' Sherlock admonishes, but it works no better than it had the week they met. John bumps Sherlock's shoulder and curls Rosie into his chest, rubbing her back and putting his lips to her forehead in between breaths. She's not feverish, she just likely got swooped about like an aeroplane too soon after tea, so John relaxes and lets himself go, laughing like an idiot in dirty sheets with a dirty baby and a spotless Sherlock (somehow, the bastard).

Then there's a knock at the door. The door of the flat, not the ground floor.

He and Sherlock exchange glances, no longer laughing; even Rosie has geared down from wailing to whimpering. John shrugs.

'Come in,' Sherlock says, loudly, because of course he does; he doesn't give a toss what people think of his cleaning habits. 'We're in the master bedroom.'

A formidable grey-haired woman with a tight chignon and very no-nonsense shoes appears in the bedroom doorway. She takes in the situation, and then she tuts. Actually tuts, in a distinctly Edwardian way that John hasn't heard since his grandmother passed. 'Just as Mr Holmes suspected.'

Sherlock purses his lips. 'Mycroft sent you?'

'He certainly did. Now, out of those clothes and into the bath, please, all three of you.'

Sherlock opens his mouth to protest but the Look she gives him has him shutting it with a snap.

John would laugh if he had the fortitude. 'Beg pardon, ma'am, but he sent you because…?'

'Because you lot are a mess, a fact of which you seem to be unaware.'

John and Sherlock exchange another look. 'Fine,' Sherlock says curtly. 'But could you be so kind as to leave the room while we undress?'

'Certainly.' She gives a short nod, then turns on her heel and exits down the hall.

'Hang on,' John whispers loudly as they start to unbutton and unzip. 'Mycroft sent us a nanny?'

'I'm relatively certain she's his housekeeper, and just on loan for this evening.'

'I guess I should be surprised.'

'No, you shouldn't, as you're not entirely without wits.'

'Such flattery.'

'Dull.'

'It's almost sweet of your brother, really.'

Sherlock points a finger at him. 'Don't you dare.'

John's lips quirk. 'Don't worry, I won't send him a fruit basket or anything. I just-- I appreciate that he indulges a child he hardly knows, that's of no relation to him.'

Sherlock clears his throat. 'Yes, well, be that as it may, I say we take full advantage.' He pulls the now-naked toddler out of John's hands and heads towards the loo.

John watches them go, feeling quite swirled around by the last half an hour's events. But then he shakes his head at himself and his navel-gazing, and follows them.

---

John's phone buzzes while he's at work the next day, and he doesn't pay it much mind until he sees it's the day nursery. After he reads the message and is able to breathe again-- Jesus, being a father is not for the weak, is it-- he thumbs one to Sherlock. 

Did you get the updated pickup address from the minder? Trip to park rained out. 

He doesn't get a reply, not right away or in the next few hours. 

This could, of course, mean a few things. John firmly puts away the worst case scenario, and reckons a case has taken priority, seeing as Sherlock knew John was available for pickup if necessary. 

So, needless to say, he's surprised when he arrives at the given address. One, because Sherlock is there waiting. And two, because it's… 

John stares.

'John,' Sherlock says after a moment. 'I'm afraid my brother has outdone himself.' 

'Yes, well.' He coughs. 'I'm afraid he's turned an indoor football pitch into a Disneyland for toddlers.'

'As I said.'

'Jesus Christ.' He wonders how long Mycroft's been planning this. 'Wait-- Was this just because of the rain today?'

'Knowing Mycroft? Yes. Is that not a proportional response?'

John can hear the amusement in Sherlock's voice. 'Definitely not,' he replies, but his cheeks hurt from repressing a smile. 'Hang on,' he says. 'Why are you here? You didn't return my texts, I figured you were in the middle of a corpse or something.'

'Mycroft told me to stay put.'

John snorts. 'Didn't you think he might be using trick psychology to get you here?'

Sherlock scoffs. 'Soft science, that.'

'Sure.'

'Daddy! Sherlock!' John looks away from Sherlock at that particular mispronunciation of his flatmate's name, and is barreled into by a clumsy sparkly dervish. 

'What--' He automatically reaches down to pick her up, then does a double take at the elaborate butterfly painted onto nearly her whole face. It's basically a work of art, honestly, and he has no idea how someone got her to sit still for that long. 

'They are hired for speed,' Sherlock says to him, and he laughs, still impressed after all these years. 

'Incredible.'

Sherlock glances at him. 'Whether you mean the artwork or my deducing your question about the artist, you are correct.'

John ignores him and listens to his daughter chatter enthusiastically. The words "bouncy castle" and, somehow, "golf" filter out of it, and John chuckles.

Then he hears her say something that makes him double-take. 'Pardon? Say that once more, sweetheart.'

'Uncle Mycroft!' she repeats. Or at least, most of those letters. Enough to confirm.

John's jaw clenches. 'Did he tell you to call him that?'

She nods enthusiastically. 'He's fun!'

This jars John from his confused dismay, and he hears Sherlock snort, too. 'I suppose he can be, in his own way.'

'Don't lie to your daughter, John.'

John tries not to laugh, and nearly succeeds.

You're going to have a hard time topping this for her next birthday, he writes to Mycroft. He doesn't get a reply, but he supposes that's fair.

They get halfway through the relatively short walk home. Halfway. Before the heavens open up, changing from an aggressive mist to actual splotchy rain.

John swallows a curse, ducking under an awning and already anticipating Rosie wailing about prematurely losing her face art, about being cold and wet and out of doors. 

But when he looks at them, at Sherlock swinging his daughter down from where she'd been perched on his shoulders, he sees nothing but joy on her face.

Joy, and wet streaks of glittery violet paint. She's clinging to Sherlock's hands, and Sherlock looks -- Well, he looks really bloody happy, if John had to label it. But he hesitates in doing so, and resigns himself to just enjoying the moment.

'What,' he says once he's recovered his voice, 'Mycroft can't have a drone deliver us an umbrella?'

Sherlock chuckles, then sobers. 'He does adore her, you know.'

John looks at Sherlock, not quite hiding his surprise. 'And you're alright with that? With "Uncle Mycroft"?'

Sherlock's eyes flash with something, but John isn't quick enough to categorise it. 'A child should have a variety of influences in their life.'

'True, but--'

'And an expanded support structure they can rely on. I daresay Mycroft qualifies, don't you?'

John nods shortly, finding himself unable to form useful words.

Luckily, Sherlock does it for him. He sweeps Rosie back up into his arms and boops her nose, which makes John's eyes cross with cognitive dissonance but there it is all the same. 'Shall we continue walking and enjoying the rain?' the detective asks Rosie. 'And then have a nice bath and some tea? I'm sure your father will make up a fire, too.'

John swallows. 'Sure, yeah.'

Heart warm enough to hurt, he follows them out from under the cover and into the storm.

Time's too short, he reckons, to fuss about dreary weather.

[ <3 ]

[inspiration: Richard Shindell's 'The Weather'. Also consulted bubbleinc.co.uk, obviously.]

[furiousgoldfish]

Abuse seemed normal and justifiable to me, the entire time I was living in it as a kid. I didn't question it, the justifications and defenses would appear in my head before I would even start to get upset about it. 'They didn't mean that, they did it to make me stronger, to teach me how hard life is. They only did it out of anger, they wouldn't have done it if I didn't make them angry. It happened because I did x. They're my parents, they're doing what's best for me. I just don't understand yet because I'm not old enough but eventually I'll get why they're acting this way.'

It feels like that when you've never had a life away from abuse; it is the only normal way of life you've ever known, and implication that it might not be normal are too scary to explore, but also completely unbelievable. Because you would have to believe that you yourself are in a special situation where normal rules no longer apply. Rules like 'your parents love you and do everything for your own good', 'you need to listen to your parents, they know what they're talking about', and 'Your parents are just trying their best'. And you feel like you're nothing special, nothing that happens to you is special, nothing is out of the ordinary, you're feeling even less than normal, you feel like something is deeply wrong with you, rather than the situation you're in. Of course your parents are normal, and mean well, it's you who needs to get their shit together and stop being, whatever you are, it's unclear.

It can seem from an outside perspective, that a child would recognize at least some of the abuse for what it was, even if subjected to the rules of 'parents love you, they know best, you need to obey them', if the abuse is extreme, but no, they wouldn't. Looking back at my experience I was able to justify not only the physical violence, neglect, insults and humiliation, but even the constant, very detailed death threats that would constantly come out of the abusers. I listened to them describe to me how they would kill me, often implying they should have killed me already, and all I thought was 'they are just saying that, they're not actually going to kill me, they're saying it because they're angry, I shouldn't take this personally'. When I think about that now, I am appalled, you would think anyone subjected to constant detailed death threats would know for sure that this is wrong. But I was also hearing about how they 'sacrificed everything for me' and 'nobody else would ever love me like this', and how could I have known, as a kid, which one of these are lies, and which are the truth? I was heavily pressured to believe that they loved me. How would I have known that my parents had reasons to convince me that their murderous intentions were fake, but the love they had for me was real?

Without a clear reference to how parental love looks like, there's no way to tell. And if you ever do see a depiction of a loving family, your abusive family will be very quick to tell you that they're "doing it wrong", "spoiling that child", and "created a selfish brat". And how would you know that this isn't true? You don't yet know that they have reasons to lie to you. You've been told they're your parents and they only want the best for you, like all parents do. They just don't want you to grow up a selfish brat, so that's why they don't do all of the listening, hugging, caring, paying attention, conversing, and advocating for you. To make sure you're strong and responsible as a human being. It makes sense when you're a kid. When you're an adult, you understand that it never made any sense, that shaming good parents only served the purpose of making you feel like you're having a normal experience, and that your parents were right to abuse you, even superior for it.

It's possible to endure any amount of abuse and to be convinced that it's normal. I've talked to adults who've been sexually abused and trafficked by their parents and still believed the parents loved them. There's no limit to what you can convince a child is normal. Any abuse can be hidden by a guise of normalcy.

[escha-evenstar]

When You Say Nothing At All

Pairing: Azul Ashengrotto x GN!Reader

Summary: Just Azul's thoughts about you and your love for him.

Word Count: 900+

Notes:

Established relationship.

A/N:

Hi hi! It's been a while since I've written anything. Things happened IRL and.. well, I guess I've been having a writer's block? Sad 😭😭 Anyways, I was listening to my playlist "Old But Gold" while taking my shower and then the song "When You Say Nothing At All" by Ronan Keating played, and then.. ting! This suddenly came to mind!!

It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart

Azul liked to think he was a very capable man. He was quite intelligent and confident in his skills. A calculating man who always has a plan. It was how he earned his position as Housewarden of Octavinelle and how he was able to open his own restaurant inside the school.

He lived a busy life. Fulfilling his responsibilities as a student. Attending meetings and doing certain tasks as a housewarden. Being a manager and handling business at the Mostro Lounge. He definitely has a lot on his plate, especially right now with the major exams coming up. Add in his housewarden duties, increased consultations, and then the Lounge getting busier. Work just seemed to pile one after another at an increased rate, wearying him down.

Azul let out a soft sigh as he finally finished working on an important document. He gently set the pen down before slowly turning his head to look at his side.

Right there sitting beside him was you. His beloved. His sweetheart. His romantic partner.

Without saying a word, you can light up the dark

Azul was proud to say that you were the most pleasant change in his life. You made him feel happy. You made him feel loved. You made him feel safe. You were everything to him.

As his eyes trailed over your form, he noticed how cozy you looked, sitting with your legs up on the comfy chair that he specifically bought just for you while leaning against his side as you read your book. He felt his heart pound at the sight of you so close and comfortable with him.

Try as I may, I can never explain

Azul was a busy man and sometimes he couldn't help but feel guilty because of it. He felt that he was lacking as your partner because he couldn't always spend time with you as much as you want. Yet, you always stayed with him. Saying it was okay and that you understand. And that you'll always be by his side no matter what.

What I hear when you don't say a thing

He remembered that one moment during the early times of your relationship. Azul was suddenly swamped with things to do and had to reschedule your date. He felt terrible at having to do so, but you still smiled at him and said that it was alright. You then asked him if it was okay for you to hangout in the VIP Room with him while he worked. It had him confused. As much as he enjoys your company, he didn't want to bore you with just sitting there while he was busy working. You could be doing something else. Something more fun and enjoyable, and maybe in the company of others, but you said wanted to stay with him. You wanted to be around him even if it was just sitting in the same room in silence.

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me

Azul could never forget the bright smile on your face when he agreed to that. The way you suddenly jumped into his arms for a hug and his face a blushing mess as you beamed up at him. He saw how extremely happy you were with the idea of simply being together. You always loved being in his presence, and Azul loved being in yours as well. It was euphoric for Azul to know how much you were delighted to be with him.

There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me

You were honestly too good to be true. Azul sometimes wondered why you even chose him instead of the other people around you. As if hearing his thoughts, your head turned to look up at him and he could see the surprise in your eyes. His eyes gazed at your pretty ones and you stared back at him. It was as if you were trying to figure out what the other was thinking. Then Azul saw your lips curve into a smile. That gorgeous smile of yours that always made his heart leap. And in your eyes, he saw the complete and utter love you always had for him.

The touch of your hand says you'll catch me wherever I fall

Your hand made its way to cup his cheek. When your skin touched his, Azul couldn't help but place his bare hand on top of yours as he leaned against your gentle touch and closed his eyes in relief. Moments like this reminded Azul of how much you truly loved him. That despite the ups and downs in life, you will always stay by his side.

You say it best

Azul opened his eyes slowly, revealing the blue irises that you always thought and said were pretty. Your face was the same as before, looking at him with a loving expression from the way your eyes gazed adoringly and the way your lips smiled warmly at him. It made him want to kiss you.

And he did.

He kissed you with all of his heart. He poured all his love and devotion for you into that sweet yet passionate kiss. And when you kissed him back with the same passion, his worries were gone in an instant. All that was left were the sparks and fireworks setting in his heart, knowing that you'll always love him as much as he'll always love you, even...

—when you say nothing at all.

Did you like my work? If you did, you can check out my blog for more! ^^

Masterlist here!

Thank you for reading! Love love!! 🩷💜

[fitgirlfemdom]

whats your favorite nine inch nails album

The Downward Spiral is not only my favorite NIN album, but my favorite music project of all time. I've listened to it cover-to-cover probably a couple dozen times over the past few years. The storytelling, the songwriting, the instrumentals, the backstory to each track, the fact Trent Reznor got sent to court for it, the music videos, everything--I love that album so much. I wish Hurt wasn't such a meme song because I honestly think it fully encapsulates the post-suicide regret that many people experience after surviving. My favorite tracks on it are Ruiner, Mr. Self Destruct, Hurt, and I Do Not Want This, but I can't skip any tracks. It's probably the only album I've listened to where EVERY song is a hit, even the more subdued/abstract tracts like A Warm Place or the title track.

With Teeth is an incredibly important album to me--it's what I listened to after my OD, and also leading up to my OD. I remember I was having a seizure at a get-together after doing something, and my friend asked what album I should put on to calm me down after, and I said groggily, "With Teeth, Nine Inch Nails." My final OD before I got sober, I listened to With Teeth in the hospital, and realized I couldn't keep putting my body, my family, and my friends through it, and I went stone-cold sober. That was back in 2022. I'm planning on getting the With Teeth logo text tattooed on my wrist sometime, because the title track would always play in my head whenever I was offered anything else.

I enjoy Pretty Hate Machine, but I haven't listened to it as frequently as TDS, mainly because it's more new-wave/synth heavy and that just isn't my vibe. Certain tracks, though, like Sin or Something I Can Never Have are still in my constant rotation. Other tracks, though, like Sanctified are unlistenable for me. PHM was my first CD for my car, and while my mom was teaching me how to drive, Sanctified came on--"If she says 'come inside' / I'll come inside for her"--and I could never listen to the song the same. Down In It was one of my first NIN tracks, so it has a special place in my heart, even if it's directly ripped from a Skinny Puppy song. The Fragile has some of Trent's best tracks, but it's such a bloated record with so many filler tracks, I wish it was split up into two projects (especially since some songs like Starfuckers make no sense on the project). I don't think I've ever listened to The Fragile all the way through, because I can only take Trent's ambient droning for so long.

The post WT stuff, like Year Zero and The Slip, haven't garnered that much of my attention. Of course, certain songs like Discipline are unavoidable, but I was much more interested in the lore and mystery of Year Zero than the actual music. Some songs on Hesitation Marks still hit, like All Time Low, Copy of A, and Came Back Haunted. All in all, though, I hold the pretty common belief that after Trent got clean, his focus drifted more to his family and writing scores for films, which I support a lot more than his current NIN projects. The Soul soundtrack is fantastic, and I'm glad Trent wasn't one of those 90s male idols that died young, and if that means I gotta listen to his saxophone solos on his new albums, then so be it.

Also, thank you for asking me a question outside of fetish-content. It's nice to know people see me as human.

[chenlbear]

'You're still in love with them, aren't you?' prompt with nct dream

warning: ANGST. full of it... maybe a lil bit of manipulation too? not proof read, will sort out when im fully awake!! im half asleep :<

MARK :

"Be honest with me Mark, I'm not the one you want to grow old with, am I?" You ask the male in front of you who seems to be putting on a clueless act with you. "Don't act stupid, you know what I'm on about! I've seen the texts, I know who the songs you've apparently made for me are about your ex."

"I.. I was going to tell you-" "Keep your words, you haven't said anything this whole time. I see where I stand with you, seriously. How was I so blind.." You chuckle to yourself, packing up the last things you needed into your backpack. "Have a nice life."

RENJUN :

"Are you sure you're not over them? All I hear about is them this, them that.. Renjun, I can't do this anymore. You clearly didn't think about your decision when you picked me to be yours."

"I'm sorry. I thought I was but they came back into my life and we've been talking, I just realised my feelings were still there - I didn't mean to hurt you," You scoff at his choice of words. "You disgust me. You really should have thought about this, don't keep making excuses up to me. I'm going to my friends and I hope to never see your face again."

JENO :

"Babe- please, can't we move past this?"

"No. We're through, I want someone who wants me and not their ex for fuck sake. I can't deal with this Jeno, I can not deal with you thinking I'm them.. you've literally called me their name more than twice, It can't be an accident after that."

HAECHAN :

"Thank you Haechan, I will never experience love like I have with you but I knew it wasn't for me. I'm thankful but also heartbroken." You whisper out in such a gentle tone, how weren't you screaming and shouting at him? He was confused.

"But.. I've upset you, how aren't you.." He tries to speak but you shush him, "Don't. I can't listen to your voice, it just breaks me even more. I'll take my leave - please do not contact me, pretend I never existed."

JAEMIN :

"You really were my everything and.. you forever will be. I don't think I'll ever get over you, you always treat me like an angel." You wipe away the tear falling down your cheek, "I don't think I can see you leave, can we not start over?" Jaemin asks, you give him a stern look, "I don't want to start over, I can't.. not when you want them."

CHENLE :

"Chenle, maybe you should take this piece of advice and pray that it stays with you, alright? Maybe not thinking about them when you're with me is a good start, hm?" You cross your arms, glaring at the male who only chuckled. "You really are taking this to heart aren't you? Maybe you should realise I always have wanted them ever since we started dating - I was only using you."

JISUNG :

Jisung took a grip to your wrist, turning you around to see your red face, tears strolling down your cheeks like a waterfall. "What's wrong?" He asks and you roughly remove his grip from you.

"I do not want to be your rebound Jisung, I found out from one of your friends.." "You aren't going to be and never will be my rebound, please don't listen to him."

"I am and you won't realise that right now but you will soon. You're only upset your ex left you and you want someone to fill that empty void in your heart and life, I won't be that person for you."

[mirikitakato]

[Translation] 4th Anni Card Episodes of Shino, Heathcliff and Oz.

Because they're nicely written by Bunta so I think I should translate them when I have them in hands. I also like the Oz's one a lot because it's funny but when you think about it, it's pretty wholesome in a very Northern way.

CARD EPISODE: SHINO AND THE DOOR OF DAYS BYGONE…

Akira: I heard that on the shores of Borda Isle, there is a door that allows you to see the past. Speaking of the past, when I first came to this world, I still had a lot of uneasiness in my heart. But when I recalled a certain memory, I felt at ease.

Shino: What memory?

Akira: The memory of a trusted adult reading a book to me as a child.

Shino: Is that so.

Akira: Is there any memories that would act like a talisman for you, Shino? Memories that provide comfort to you.

Shino:..... Somehow...

Akira: Yes?

Shino: I keep thinking about Heath.

Akira: Ah, I see. You two are childhood friends after all...

Shino: No, it's not good because I'm a servant. Memories of being with my master shouldn’t make me feel at ease. By the way, what did Heath say?

Akira: I haven't asked him anything yet.

Shino: What? Why didn't you?

Akira: S-sorry...

Shino: The feelings I had before were not for Heath, but for the time I spent with the master and mistress.

Akira: Would it make you feel at ease to remember that?

Shino: Guess so. Taking care of Heath is just a forced job.

Akira: You're saying that again...but your relationship isn't a forced one.

Shino: I know. Heath is my true master now. I can't allow myself to feel at ease when I think of my master.

Akira: I see...

Shino: I'll set an image for myself to remember. If I repeat it enough times, I can control these feelings.

Akira: Huh......!? Is that something you can control yourself?

Shino: If I have these feelings because a certain image comes to mind, then I can. Hmm, what kind of scene do I need to remember to feel at ease and become stronger?

Akira: (Even if you remember Heath, you won't become weaker though...)

Shino: Maybe Oz? After all, he's the strongest in the world. Hmm...? If I feel relieved when I see a strong guy come along, does that mean I'm weak?

Akira: It feels like a very random stream of consciousness, but thanks anyway...

CARD EPISODE: HEATHCLIFF AND THE DOOR OF DAYS BYGONE…

Akira: I heard that on the shores of Borda Isle, there is a door that allows you to see the past. Speaking of the past, when I first came to this world, I still had a lot of uneasiness in my heart. But when I recalled a certain memory, I felt at ease.

Heathcliff: A certain memory...Can I ask what it’s like?

Akira: The memory of a trusted adult reading a book to me as a child.

Heathcliff: Ah, I see. As a child, I was always drawn to the stories that adults would tell me.

Akira: Is there any memories that would act like a talisman for you? Memories that provide comfort to you.

Heathcliff: Hmm...well...there are many. Compared to other wizard children, my parents' love for me even made me feel guilty. They must have taken extra care of me so that I, who was born a wizard, wouldn't be in pain. My parents told me countless times how much they loved and cherished me. So...I've been living a peaceful life since then. Shino and the people who work at Blanchett also make me feel at ease. I'm so grateful to everyone for being able to live like this.

Akira: (Heath... Just listening to him makes me feel so happy...) (For some reason, he can't catch his breath. Is it because he’s suffocating or because he feels guilty?) (It's like he's talking to himself.) (Maybe because Heath is so sensitive, he knows that his parents and Shino want him to have a happy life.) (No matter what it is, if you're expected to do something, it's bound to put some pressure on you...) (...Heath has it tough too...)

Akira: I'm glad that Heath is surrounded by kind people. I also want Heath to live a peaceful and happy life.

Heath: Thank you, Sage.

Akira: But...I'm not saying I want you to live a perfect, ideal happy life. What I mean is that I want Heath to be able to live freely like everyone else, according to his own will. To enjoy happiness and sadness. Isn't that what everyone else wants?

Heath: Sage... I remember something. A scene that made me feel at ease when I was sad...

Akira: Please tell me about it. What kind of memory is it?

Heath: I may have mentioned this before, but... It's a memory of the orange tree in the greenhouse near Blanchett Castle.

CARD EPISODE: OZ AND THE DOOR OF DAYS BYGONE…

Akira: I heard that on the shores of Borda Isle, there is a door that allows you to see the past. Speaking of the past, when I first came to this world, I still had a lot of uneasiness in my heart. But when I recalled a certain memory, I felt at ease.

Oz: A certain memory...?

Akira: The memory of a trusted adult reading a book to me as a child.

Oz: ........

Akira: Is there any memories that would act like a talisman for you? Memories that provide comfort to you.

Oz: .....Making myself feel at ease with memories...?

Akira: I-is my question strange?

Oz: No... I always win against Mithra.

Akira: Yes.

Oz: I’ve never lost to Owen and Bradley. The same goes for the twins and Figaro, I won't lose to them now.

Akira: I know.

Oz: These memories and achievements make me feel at ease. It's not to the point of being relaxed, but just a statement of fact.

Akira: Okay...

Oz: Is this what you want to hear?

Akira: To be honest, that's not what I meant... It should be more heartwarming memories, right? The kind that can make people relax...

Oz: ......

Akira: (Oz and the Northern wizards, do they not have any memories that make them feel at ease, or any moments of relaxation?)

Oz: A long time ago, when I was still small and my power was far from what it is now... The twins and Figaro made me drink poison.

Akira: Eh??

Oz: Of course, I would never drink it obediently. I resisted with my life, and those guys were also seriously injured. After a few similar incidents, I understood. What they were giving me wasn't poison, but medicine.

Akira: (It's a little story about feeding medicine to a wild beast...)

Oz: I didn't know there was such a thing as medicine back then. I used magic to heal myself from minor and major injuries. And the medicine tasted terrible. But now, I can drink it without worry. Will a story like that do?

Akira: (It's barely heartwarming...)

[jasntodds]

Penance:

Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader Summary:❝Thesus: Stop. Give me your hand. I am your friend. Herakles: I fear to stain your clothes with blood. Thesus: Stain them. I don't care. It’s been a month and a half since Crane’s reign of terror was stopped, leaving Gotham to finally return to normal. But, what is normal? After everything Jason and you have been through, it seems normal might be some unobtainable dream state. But that’s not going to stop either of you from trying and maybe, you’ll get lucky in the end. At the end of it, the two of you have suffered enough, right? Right? teaser | Chapter 1 coming May 31 tag list | series masterlist | full masterlist | listen to the full playlist on spotify

Playlist:

Penance - Holding Absence

"I am enough to feel happiness and love. It's hard to say out loud, "I deserve to be happy now". Well, I deserve to be happy now."

2. All That I Can Give - The Plot In You

"Stay for me. Wait for me. Bleed and break for me. I'll give the world somehow. (I won't let you down)."

3. On Purpose - Nurko, Rylan James

"So, I'm gonna love you on purpose and give you every piece of me and diving deeper than the surface cause all I ever wanna be is someone you can lean on when you feel alone. There is no distance that I wouldn't go. You can count on me to put the work in. I'll make mistakes, I won't be perfect but I'm gonna love you on purpose."

4. Broken Ones - Illenium, Anna Clendening

"Cause everyone falls so hard and everything falls apart. But we know we still got heart. Here's to the broken ones."

5. Please, Just Breathe - Written By Wolves

"Please, just breathe. I think I saw a look in your eye the last time that we spoke and you said goodbye. It's been stuck on repeat in my mind."

6. Only Us - DYLN

"There is only us, no one else. I keep your head above the water. You make my fears get smaller. There is only us, nothing else."

7. Another You - Of Mice & Men

"Say anything, say anything. Say anything that can make this all okay. Take it away, take it away. Take away all of this emptiness I feel cause I will never find another, I may never find myself. I will never find another you."

8. Celebration Song - Holding Absence

"I know that years from now when my final flame runs out, I'll be a grain of sand running through a stranger's hand but right now I'm alive. I'm alive. I'm alive, I lived to see today. I lost so much along the way and that's fine cause I'm alive. I've been so hurt for so long."

9. Somebody's Someone - Ryan Carter

"All I ever wanted to know was what it feels like to be somebody's everything like you were to me. Give me half of you. You took all of me. You took everything."

10. In A Perfect World - Dean Lewis, Julia Michaels

"Baby, I said it, you're so scared of regretting something before you can even regret it and we could be great, and it would be great if you'd let it but you leave when it gets too good. You (I) leave when it gets too good. In a perfect world, I am here with you and I kiss you slow in a dim lit room. When you ask me if I love you, I say, "I do". I'm not running from my problems, and I'm not running from you."

[amesstms]

-ˋˏ ➛ 𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄 𝐈𝐒 𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄 𝟐, 𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑: 𝐅𝐀𝐈𝐓𝐇 . sentence starters . ᴏᴘᴇɴ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛs . ᴄᴏɴᴠᴇʀsᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴋᴀʀᴇɴ . ᴏᴜᴛsɪᴅᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏᴛᴇʟ .

❝ hey, sorry it took so long. fucking store was packed... ❞

❝ how you feeling? nothing broken? ❞

❝ double cheese, no onion, right? ❞

❝ hey, don't wolf that down... or at least take a breath... ❞

❝ like you care... ❞

❝ [ name ]... i do... ❞

❝ come on, [ name ]. don't act all hurt. it's too late. ❞

❝ where were you?! where... were you...? ❞

❝ fair enough. so let's talk. ❞

❝ i'm listening. ❞

❝ you know i don't have to answer your questions, right? ❞

❝ you're right. so tell me what you want from me, [ name ]... ❞

❝ nothing, [ name ]. i mean, what do you want from me? a fucking hug? ❞

❝ hey, i just want you to know what i did and why. if you care. so, ask me anything. ❞

❝ why did you bail on us? ❞

❝ i wasn't meant to be a wife/husband... or a mother/father. i thought i was supposed to... i tried to pretend for many years... but i was unhappy and the urge to leave just became unbearable... i had no other choice. ❞

❝ are you serious?! you chose this life! you fell in love, you made your own choices. right? ❞

❝ making your own choices doesn't mean you can never fool yourself, [ name ]... ❞

❝ there was so much going on around me yet somehow i just... felt that my own life was just slipping away. felt like an empty shell. ❞

❝ [ name ], it was the hardest decision i ever made. ❞

❝ i knew i might never see you all again, but i took that responsibility. ❞

❝ i didn't have a choice, [ name ]. ❞

❝ we only have one life, and i didn't want mine to be spent in regrets. ❞

❝ for years i've fooled myself, thinking i'd find satisfaction into what society expected me to be, and that was my mistake. ❞

❝ i hope someday you can understand that... ❞

❝ but i never stopped caring about you... ❞

❝ for what it's worth, i am sorry for hurting you and [ name ]... ❞

❝ i know you are, [ name ]. that still doesn't change the way i feel... ❞

❝ i know i can't change the past, [ name ]. ❞

❝ we were a real family without you. ❞

❝ well, [ name ] was meant to be a father/mother... i knew he/she would take care of you the way you deserved. ❞

❝ oh, please! it's too fucking late for that shit! ❞

❝ no matter what, you left your own kids and my dad/mom. so don't even. ❞

❝ i know it's too late. i just... i want you to know how i feel-- ❞

❝ i still don't care. jeez. ❞

❝ [ name ], whatever you want to say to me... this is the time. ❞

❝ let's just get it all out in the open, see what happens. ❞

❝ so, did you ever actually miss us? ❞

❝ i missed watching you grow up... see how you saw the world... ❞

❝ i missed sharing these moments with you, [ name ]. ❞

❝ we used to do so much stuff. ❞

❝ like when you taught me to ride because dad/mom sucked... ❞

❝ or when we went camping near [ location ]... just me and you... ❞

❝ you always loved night skies... ❞

❝ i did stargaze a lot when i was in [ location ]... ❞

❝ trust me, the further south you go, the better it gets... ❞

❝ well... that's your loss. ❞

❝ i don't expect you to believe me. but i mean it. ❞

❝ so... what did you do when you left? where did you go? ❞

❝ i pursued some dreams... and failed. ❞

❝ i guess all this time i tried to find out what really matters to me. ❞

❝ which doesn't involve a husband/wife and [ number ] kids. ❞

❝ it does to a lot of people, and i totally respect that. just not to me. ❞

❝ i wasn't good at making plans, which is what most of modern life is about, right? ❞

❝ i wanted to find my own way with no security blanket. ❞

❝ it's just all about security, after all. ❞

❝ but it just looked like a sweet golden jail to me. i tried to escape that. ❞

❝ hope it was worth it... ❞

❝ for now, i've found my place in the world with like-minded people. ❞

❝ i'm at peace with my fuck-ups and my decisions. ❞

❝ you just sound... immature. like a kid running away from home. ❞

❝ i think people should know who they are... and not fake it for anybody. ❞

❝ i mean, i get you wanted to leave and stuff... okay. but why ghost us like that? ❞

❝ not even a fucking birthday card. ❞

❝ i just... i thought if i vanished, you would all move on. ❞

❝ i wanted to contact you guys so many times. i almost did. ❞

❝ but you wanted a clean break from us... ❞

❝ i didn't want to be a part-time pissed off mother/father. not fair to any of you. ❞

❝ why do you wanna talk about all this shit now? i don't care. ❞

❝ hey, um... mind if i bum a smoke? ❞

❝ oh, man, [ name ] hated when i smoked... ❞

❝ fuck... life can be so cynical, sometimes... ❞

❝ i remember he/she/they would smoke sometimes... long ago... ❞

❝ we didn't fight much, but when we did... i would go out on the porch and light up so i could calm down... ❞

❝ [ name ] would come over and ask for a drag. then we'd just look up at the sky and watch the stars... or the planes... i do miss that. ❞

❝ i used to do the same with my best friend, [ name ]... sitting on the porch, just letting time go... ❞

❝ that's when you know someone is good to you. when you can just sit together, shut the hell up, and watch the universe do its own thing... ❞

[nidmightcookies]

Know what I'm sick of? I'm sick of a few fans posting every other fucking day about how some other fans are fandoming wrong, because those fans don't like the same character/in the same way that they do. And somehow it becomes an issue of racism, because fuck if they'll allow stanning of a white guy (funny enough, the only time I've seen race mentioned), not on their fucking watch, nosirree.

And somehow it's the wrong-fandoming-fans' fault that you fine, upstanding citizen fans have to post about this shit AGAIN because it happened AGAIN and you know, I can't remember the last time I saw the outright racist posts in the tags, so I must be curating Tumblr extremely well in that regard (wait... is it ON Tumblr, or is it somewhere else on the internet, but you brought it HERE?), at least. But I still see the regularly scheduled "Fandom was mean again" posts, so. Maybe not that good.

I'm fucking sick of it, and I don't care if this upsets them/you too, so allow me to be specific. I've read too many hypocritical essays on how Izzy fans/Canyon are doing it wrong/never shut up/missing the point/bad people who should feel bad/promoting oppression of insert-group-here (FYI, I belong to some of those groups, so - fucking don't even start it with me) ... yet those essays always have dozens of notes of agreement on them. We all know -ism is bad, we all fucking know that, but I swear some of you act like you're getting points for how many times you point it out.

Judging by the dozens of notes, maybe you are.

I know mine is not going to be the popular opinion, I know I'll get shit, I know you'll dismiss me as a troll, I don't care. I'm not having fun in Tumblr OFMD fandom anymore. You've helped to make it not fun. This constant infighting has got to fucking stop.

As you(generic policing fans) like to point out: it's a SHOW. With characters written/acted to entertain us. Some of them are going to be your favorite, and some of them are not ( I fucking hate Calico Jack, some people love him, that's okay) .

Canyon? Same to you.

Is there another group, non-Ed-non-Izzy, that needs to hear this message? Listen the fuck up:

LIKE WHAT YOU LIKE.

LET PEOPLE LIKE THE SHIT THEY LIKE.

Believe it or not, these two things can be done simultaneously. Stop reading shit into what other people are doing/saying, fucking ignore/block them if they bother you so goddamn much, and get the fuck on with enjoying the fandom the way you want to enjoy it. Let's all just fucking love us some gay pirates. It's what we're all here for.

...and if the way you want to enjoy it, is to ruin other people's enjoyment, then you can just fuck right the hell off. Thank you for your cooperation.

[lunarharp]

if i just told you i love you would this world change