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#love to watch analysis videos on them
cutepastelstarsalior · 7 months
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This is a very niche group. But one that I love.
(Not featured but also fits; Return to Oz 1985, the Swan Lake ballet, and the book Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls. How does the ballet fit with this group? Idk man)
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[CN] Victor’s Nostalgic Memories Date (Eng Translation)
“You’re my first.”
“You’re my first, too.”
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⌚Warning⌚ This post contains detailed spoilers for a date, 旧忆之约, that is yet to be released on the global server! ♡
•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•
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【Subbed Video】    
[Heads-up]: Read the transcript for reading, but  PLEASE DO WATCH THE VIDEO!! THE BGMS, THE VOICE ACTING, EVERYTHING!! (also, yes, I’ve made my real-time reactions 🤪)
youtube
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【Transcript Version】
【Chapter 1】
Not long ago, Victor received a commemorative book.
The sender is his alma mater, Loveland Central Elementary School, which is about to celebrate its 100th anniversary.
The book is filled with old photos of his school. With unending excitement, I relentlessly search for that familiar figure among them.
Little Victor holding up his award certificates with a composed demeanor, hoisting the national flag with aplomb, or standing on the winner’s podium during the sports meet… all these are images of him I haven’t seen before.
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MC: Model student, flag-raiser, long-distance running gold medalist… how many more surprises does this man have in store that I still don’t know about?
?? (Victor): What are you muttering to yourself this time?
I look up and find that Victor has entered the bedroom without me noticing.
MC: I can’t help but feel sentimental~ After all, you were that “kid from someone else’s family” when we were little.
[Tidbits]: The term MC uses here is “别人家的小孩,” I guess you’ll understand this better if you are an Asian/ of Asian descendance/ have Asian parents LOL; it’s often used to describe how parents spur their own kids into working harder by often mentioning “the other kid” as a role model who usually excels in many aspects~ :> And MC playfully follows this with– he belongs to her/ they’re a family now. So, she can take pride that “the prized boy” is all hers 🤣💕 (aside from the obvious knife about MC being regretful of missing out on each other’s lives, which comes later~ 🥲)
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Victor: Someone else’s family?
Watching his cool and collected expression as he arches an eyebrow, I cheekily walk up to him.
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MC: Hehe, but now you’re mine~
As I notice him smiling slightly, I can’t help but be insatiable and pull him along to join me in flipping through the photo album.
We have just flipped through a few photos of the “Campus Singing Competition” when the person beside me seems to have seen something, causing his pupils to quiver ever so slightly.
Following his gaze, I catch a glimpse of a young kid with dramatic stage makeup, sporting a red dot on the space between his brows.
Before I can take a closer look, the commemorative book in front of me is abruptly snapped shut.
MC: Wait!
Hastily, I clutch his hand down and carefully inspect the photo. There is actually a small caption below it that reads–– “Little Victor, photographed by Dad”
Astounded, I snatch the book and examine it closely–– the child’s solemn expression, with furrowed brows, is unmistakably identical to that of a certain someone I know so well.
I stare at Victor in utter disbelief, while he seems to have already resigned himself and closed his eyes.
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MC: Hahahaha–– you’re so cute, hahaha!
Victor: …stop laughing, give me back the book.
MC: Alright, but you have to agree to one condition of mine.
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Victor: ...you sure know how to make demands.
MC: Don’t want to agree? Well, then I might just turn you into an emoji pack, huh?
Victor takes a deep breath as if he has reached the limit of his patience. He then takes out his phone, quickly taps on the screen, and holds it to his ear.
Victor: I had planned to bring a certain someone along to visit the school when I’d sign the contract to donate to the school building.
Victor: But since the photos seem enough to satisfy you, I think I’m gonna talk to the school about reducing your title to a colleague.
Hearing his words, I immediately grab his arm, displaying a sincere expression.
MC: Why didn’t you tell me about the building donation before? I’m not laughing anymore, I promise!
He arches an eyebrow and moves his phone a few inches away, as if waiting for me to offer a bigger bargaining chip.
I narrow my eyes and steel myself.
MC: I’ll give you three of my embarrassing childhood photos!
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Victor: Deal.
Hearing a muffled chuckle in my ears, I suddenly realize what’s going on. I seize his phone and, sure enough, find that the screen is still locked.
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MC: …you’re so childish, Victor!
Despite my reproach, he remains composed and raps my head.
Victor: He who touches ink becomes black, you know?
•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•
【Chapter 2】
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Victor: …wish strips?
An old metal box is gently placed on the table, inside of which is stacked with many pieces of weathered papers, tinged with a yellow hue.
After the completion of the donation contract signing, only three people remain in the empty conference room— the two of us and the principal.
Principal: When I learned that you were coming back, I inquired with your homeroom teacher about anything that might have been left behind from back then, and she really found it.
Even as I try hard to focus my attention on their conversation, an inevitably innate urge drives me to reach out and flip through the wish strips with my fingers, looking for a certain one.
Soon, a weathered piece of paper catches my eyes, with meticulously and neatly penned six letters that form the name “Victor.”
However, before I can reach my hand for it, a large hand with slender fingers lands on top of the paper––
Forced by the seriousness of the atmosphere we are in now, I can do nothing but watch helplessly as Victor nonchalantly slips the note into his pocket.
Victor: If there’s anything else you need help with in the future, please feel free to contact me again.
Principal: Thank you, Little Vic. Despite your remarkable achievements in the outside world, you still haven’t forgotten your alma mater.
[Tidbits]: I’m freaking crying, haha–– look at his Principal still calling this grown-ass man “小李 (Xiao Li)” aksdknld– the sheer adoration you can’t let go of despite the admiration a person has achieved from you– 🥺 
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Victor: You’re too kind. On a different note, I wish to take my girlfriend on a tour of the school later. I wonder if it would be convenient?
Principal: Absolutely! You two are welcome to wander around and have a good time.
It’s summer vacation, and the campus is absolutely empty.
The continuous symphony of cicadas seems to transport me through countless summers, carrying me to the past that belongs to him.
Hand in hand, we walk beneath the shade of the sycamore tree, retracing the journey captured in old photos, from the faintly plastic-scented crimson athletic track to the library, and eventually arriving at his former classroom.
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MC: Where would you sit back then?
Seeing him pointing to a seat in the back row, I press against the window frame and peer inside, yearning to glimpse that small figure across the boundaries of time and space.
MC: Do you have any special memory from your elementary school days?
Victor: What do you mean by special?
MC: Copying homework? Not paying attention in class? Or maybe… puppy love?
It seems like he’s heard something that displeased him; a slight frown creeps onto his face, and he gives me a subtle, scrutinizing look.
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Victor: [strikes immediately LMFAO]  Your elementary school life was this eventful and colorful? It seems like I underestimated you a little.
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MC: Of course not; I didn’t do anything of the sort! I’m just simply curious about your school life~
Victor: It was like any regular elementary school student’s life–– attending classes, doing homework after school, and occasionally playing soccer. Nothing out of the ordinary–– 
Suddenly, the sound of a series of brisk footsteps interrupts his words. Before long, two kids carrying backpacks appear at the far end of our sight.
Little Boy: Did you check? If you forget to bring your homework again, I won’t come with you next time.
Little Girl: I’ve really brought it this time! Where should we go to do our homework today?
Little Boy: The library.
Little Girl: But we need to stay quiet in the library, and I won’t be able to talk with you there.
Little Boy: …let’s go to the burger joint then.
Watching their departing figures from behind, I tug at the corner of Victor’s clothes.
MC: Have you ever done homework together with other kids?
Victor: Might have done some group assignments at some point.
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MC: With you sitting next to them, their study efficiency must have gotten a massive boost. I’m really envious of those classmates who had the chance to do homework with you…
Hearing me say this, Victor’s face takes on a curious and contemplative expression.
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Victor: Don’t be envious. I’ve got an idea.
MC: What do you have in mind?
Victor: It just so happens that I have to work tonight. You can bring in your unfinished proposal, and we can “do homework” together.
MC: …I’ll pass. Even a dummy can tell the difference between a friendly invitation and being supervised by a capitalist.
As we are talking, I see the kids from earlier run out of the convenience store in front of the school gate.
With delight on their faces, they share a pack of crisp instant noodles. The savory and crispy aroma from afar feels as if it reaches the tip of my teeth as well.
Just like me, Victor turns his head toward the source of the noise. Upon seeing his reaction, I immediately reach out and take his hand.
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MC: Wanna go to the convenience store? It’s my treat!
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【Chapter 3】
The store is not big, but it boasts a diverse selection of snacks arranged on the shelves.
However, my eyes are drawn to a seemingly ordinary pack of candy tucked away in the corner. Memories of my elementary school days rush back, when this candy was all the rage for playing pranks, and I also couldn’t resist tasting it once myself––
Even at this very moment, the fast secretion of saliva in my mouth is a vivid reminder of its “special” flavor.
Filled with curiosity, I pick up the candy and shake it at Victor.
MC: This candy used to be so popular back in the day. Have you ever tried it?
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Victor: Nope, I haven’t.
MC: Your childhood is missing just a little something, then.
Victor: If being a glutton is your yardstick, you probably had the most complete childhood in the whole world.
Listening to his playful banter, I silently make up my mind to tease him a little. I grab the candy and settle the bill.
Just imagining the look on his face when he tastes the sourness makes me involuntarily curl my lips into a smile. However, realizing that his gaze is fixed on my face, I hasten to temper my smile.
MC: Victor, may I fill in the missing pieces of your childhood?
Victor: No need.
Ignoring his attempt to decline with a shake of his head, I affectionately bring a candy close to his lips.
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MC: Come on, give me some face! I never asked any boy students out for snacks back when I was in school. You’re my first.
Upon hearing my words, his motions pause momentarily, and he stares at me fixedly with downcast eyes.
Just when I think he’s going to reject me again, he softly lets his lips part, lowers his head, and eats the candy from my hand.
I instantly widen my eyes, not wanting to miss any nuance of his expression. But all I see him is chewing the candy nonchalantly without any changes in his demeanor.
This isn’t right… could they have changed the recipe? Puzzled, I pop a candy into my mouth, but as soon as it touches my tongue, I grimace from the sourness.
MC: Sss! So sour!
Victor seems to can’t hold back and bursts into laughter.
Victor: Mmm, it’s indeed sour.
MC: You did that on purpose!
As my indignant glare meets his eyes, he arches an eyebrow in response.
Victor: You sure have a talent for turning the tables. But speaking of doing it on purpose—
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Victor: Back when I was in school, I never teased or played with any girl students, either. You’re my first, too.
The candy in my mouth still gives rise to an unending stream of sourness, yet I can distinctly taste a sweet flavor.
Victor: So happy that you’re in a silly daze?
Upon hearing his teasing, I  realize I’ve been rooted to the spot and giggling like a silly person this whole time. I quickly pretend to be composed and divert the topic.
MC: I was thinking that we visited all the locations where each of the old photos was taken, except for one that slipped through the cracks!
MC: Where was that adorable picture of you with the red dot between your brows taken?
Victor: Why do you always apply your surplus obsession in places where it’s not necessary?
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MC: Humph, it took me so much effort to get you to bring me here. Even if I have to dig the school three feet deep today, I’ll definitely find it!
Seeing me steadfastly staring at him, he lets out a sigh and helplessly takes my hand.
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Victor: My alma mater had to spend so much effort to reach the lifespan of a hundred years. I’m not letting it be dug up by you.
We’re obviously supposed to be searching for the location of the photo. However, Victor brings me back to his old family home, which is currently empty.
Before I can even ask anything, my gaze is captivated by a rather extravagant box of jewelry on the foyer table.
As I let out a small gasp of surprise, Victor also glances over, and his expression turns somewhat speechless.
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Victor: Aunt Grace purchased these during her trip abroad. She said you might get tired of seeing me in formal attire, so I should occasionally change things up…
MC: Pfftt! Why didn’t she just send them to you directly?
Victor: Because I declined. She probably planned to take a roundabout approach and ask my dad for help.
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MC: Well, that works out perfectly. There’s no need to bother Uncle.
I “obligingly” pat my chest as an expression of “taking responsibility” and put the ornaments in my bag.
MC: But you didn’t especially bring me here just to pick this up, right?
Victor shoots me a wordless glance and then points toward the flower house ahead.
Victor: Not just the head is slow, the eyes are slow too.
MC: Hey, you meanie…
After a few seconds, I’m suddenly taken aback, my eyes widening. I pull out the photo from the commemorative book and compare it to the flower house before my eyes. To my surprise, it turns out to be exactly the same.
MC: This photo was actually taken at home?
Victor: After I came back from the performance, the teacher notified us that we needed to take a photo.
MC: But I thought you would remove your makeup right after the performance!
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Victor: You’re right. I did wipe it off as soon as I got off the stage. But my dad deliberately used a red seal ink paste to reapply that dot.
Seeing the awkward look on his face, I can’t resist the urge to tease him and fish out the lipstick from my bag.
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MC: How is it fair if you just make do with a red seal ink paste? Since the other kids have it on, you should too.
Victor: …I should not have told you.
He firmly grasps my unruly hand, but I use my left hand to snatch the lipstick and persistently keep inching closer to him. At this point, I’m practically draped onto his body.
Just as the lipstick is about to touch his forehead, he suddenly looks behind me.
Victor: Dad, you’re back.
I jump off him in a panic, and with my eyes closed, I immediately bow towards the entrance.
MC: Hello, Uncle!
After waiting for quite a considerable amount of time without any response, I’m beginning to feel slightly puzzled when I hear a soft chuckle from above me.
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Victor: Turns out that there are still ways to restrain a certain someone’s out-of-control unruliness.
I raise my head and see that there is no one at the entrance.
Seeing the smirk of triumph in his eyes, I let out a “humph” and decide to turn the tables against him. At this moment, I coincidentally spot the wish strip peeking out from his pocket because of our earlier playful fooling around.
But he’s guessed my intentions, and almost simultaneously, he presses his fingertips on the slip of paper along with me. This results in a brief standoff as neither of us releases our hold.
The silent confrontation lasts for a few seconds until I pout, and that’s when I hear him let out a resigned sigh of compromise. I finally have my wish fulfilled and get my hands on his wish strip.
The paper has already yellowed and become brittle, but the carefully and neatly written words haven’t faded even a bit during the overlong passage of time––
“I want to grow up fast so that I can find her.”
Caught off guard by intruding into the “secret” of his past, I somehow feel a mixture of indescribable emotions flooding my heart.
How come he never mentioned to me that he had such a wish before? I can’t help but lift my eyes to look into his.
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And he stares at me for a long, long time, as if he too wants to glean something from my expression. His lips twitch, but he doesn’t utter a single word even after a long time passes by.
Seeing him hesitate like this, I decide to be the one to break the silence first.
MC: Haha, I didn’t expect your wish to be so sincere and honest.
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MC: But don’t worry, who didn’t have some little secrets in their childhood? I’ll just pretend I didn’t see it!
Victor: Little secret?
He doesn’t seem to have expected me to say this, causing him to evidently be stunned for a moment. But soon, a glint of playfulness sparks in his eyes.
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Victor: Well, that’s a shame. I was originally going to share it with you, but since a certain dummy isn’t curious––
Victor: I guess I’ll just have to leave it be.
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【Chapter 4】
He has really done what he said, not uttering a single word of explanation.
He even seems to be in high spirits as he grabs a bottle of whiskey from the liquor cabinet, as if he does not feel my indignant glare fixed on him at all.
Victor: Let’s celebrate together.
MC: Celebrate what?
Victor: I’m really lucky; my wish has come true.
With a hint of tenderness crested between his eyebrows and in his eyes, he uncorks the wine bottle. “Pop”–– the celebration begins, but I feel as if it’s my heart that has begun to deflate.
I push down the bitter feelings in my heart and take a sip of my drink.
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MC: Congratulations to you, then.
Victor: Why does this “congratulations” sound a bit like you’re saying it against your will?
Being relentlessly pressed by his step-by-step advances while he is greatly amused, I suddenly feel a mix of embarrassment and anger soaring into my chest.
MC: How should I congratulate you then? Do you want me to take a photo of you for comparison to prove that you’ve grown up properly, just as you wished?
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Victor: Sure, how do you plan to take the photo for me?
Originally, it was just an impulsive remark I made out of anger. But his reply suddenly causes me to choke, rendering me momentarily speechless. I can’t help but feel a little itch in my teeth.
However, upon glancing at the extravagant jewelry box in my bag, I narrow my eyes.
The next second, I push him onto the couch and start “hanging” all the jewelry on him without even asking him.
Victor: …are you decorating a Christmas tree?
MC: Since we are taking new photos in the once familiar place, you naturally have to dress up enough like an adult to give them the true value of commemoration.
However, I gradually realize that the ornaments on him don’t look over the top at all; instead, they make him look even more exquisite.
Seeing this, I wickedly pull open a section of his collar, exposing a large expanse of sculpted muscles that charges into my eyes. I can’t help but gulp at the sight.
Victor: Is this how a certain dummy defines an adult?
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MC: Why? Can’t I do this?
Hearing his soft chuckle, I huff in anger as I mutter under my breath.
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The next second, my wrist is clasped in place, and I find myself falling into his arms. That familiar scent of his hems me tightly.
Victor: Of course you can. But I think there’s still a bit of room for enhancement.
His warm breath grazes my ear now and then, making my heartbeat accelerate involuntarily.
Realizing that my chance to counterattack is slipping through the cracks, I inwardly compose myself and tilt my head slightly, forcefully suppressing my racing heartbeat.
Aiming my gaze at the lipstick on the table, I immediately come up with a plan.
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MC: You’re absolutely right; there’s still room for enhancement. It was my bad. I still need to mark you like an adult––
I grab the lipstick and apply several thick coats on my lips, then seal it with a big kiss on his cheek.
The corners of his lips twitch slightly, seemingly evident that he didn’t anticipate my move at all. After a brief moment, he just casually leans back against the couch.
Victor: Have you finished all your preparations for taking the photo?
Looking at his face painted with the mark of my kiss, I nod in satisfaction.
He raises an eyebrow at my reaction, then pulls me closer to him once again.
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Victor: Now it’s my turn.
Victor: Photos that hold the true value of commemoration should be taken alongside the witness testimony who made my wish come true.
MC: Witness testimony? Me?
Victor: Is there a third person here?
Victor rubs his temples helplessly, but the smile hanging at the edge of his lips seems to validate the daring conjecture harbored in the depths of my heart.
MC: The “her” you wrote about in your wish strip… it’s me?
Victor: You dummy, who else could it possibly be except you?
Without a moment’s hesitation, he admits it candidly.
In this instant, my heart feels as if it has been drenched.
The mottled wish strip in front of me is akin to the tip of an iceberg I have somehow peered into. It reminds me that in places I’ve never seen, millions of emotions lie buried that I still don’t know about and have yet to fathom.
And those deep eyes of his, which have been fixed on me all along, are so honest and sincere without the slightest concealment, make me surer than ever that––
The impact of our childhood encounter, the bond that forged our destinies together, perhaps runs much deeper than I had ever imagined it to be possible.
It turns out that I have already had my place in his past long ago.
By the time I speak again, my tone has already become joyful.
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MC: Ah–– it turns out I had already become your heart’s desire so, so early on. I must have had quite the charm back when I was little, huh~
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Victor: …I really underestimated how thick-skinned you can be.
He laughs involuntarily and watches me quietly for a while. The light in his gaze becomes even deeper and more earnest.
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Victor: But MC, when I say “I’m lucky,” it’s not because I found the little girl from my past.
Victor: It’s because of the fortunate circumstance–– that little girl turned out to be you.
I instinctively find myself rooted to the spot, feeling a tingling itch sprouting in my heart, as if a wobbly little flower has blossomed within me.
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It’s not until he takes hold of my hand that I finally snap out of it. Accompanied by the silky smooth touch of his fingertips, an English word takes form on the glass wall of the flower room –– Morii.
MC: What does it mean?
He lowers his gaze to look at me, his eyes seemingly concealing a subtle smile.
Victor: Originally, for me, those past days were nothing but ordinary moments, days that I would never want to look back on.
Victor: But the moment you stepped inside and looked around, those old times suddenly came to life again.
Victor: Perhaps it’s the gift of a certain dummy; you’ve always made me want to keep holding onto these moments that exist because of you.
His gentle voice is reminiscent of a feather landing in my heart, creating concentric ripples of waves.
I find myself unable to contain my giggle and lean in closer to him.
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MC: Then let’s keep holding onto it.
He is slightly stumped for a moment but soon understands the meaning of my words and turns on the camera, aiming it at us. From beginning to end, those eyes of his gazing at me have held a perpetual interplay of tender and fervent glimmers.
Lifting myself up on my toes, I approach the figure that is also drawing closer to me.
Two throbbing hearts appear to have traversed the confines of endless dusty time, seeking solace in each other’s arms time and time again.
Right at this moment, the flash of the camera lights up.
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[Tidbits]: Didn’t wanna break the immersion, so kept it for the last here. The word Victor led MC to write together, i.e., “Morii” means the “desire to capture a fleeting moment that cannot be retained.” It’s basically the ephemeral nature of life, the reminder of everything inevitable. It’s like a time in which you expect the least, a time in which that moment spontaneously confronts you, but there is nothing you can do to preserve it— and the desire to do all you can to keep that moment to yourself is “Morii.” And if you know Victor and Victor x MC’s story, I’m sure you understand why it’s so important that they wrote it together, or rather MC instinctively followed his strokes without asking why— (இ﹏இ`。)❤️
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[Anika’s Long Analysis & Ramblings]
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willosword · 16 days
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OOOO I DIDNT REALIZE THERE WERE BEHIND THE SCENES INTERVIEW VIDEOS FOR S2
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recapitulation · 8 months
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i think about this video all the time. dude tries to get his friend to guess a mahler symphony by playing ONE chord. and he does
youtube
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hall0wedwyrm · 7 months
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recently getting a huge kick out of people analysing Sans of all things???
like... can we all agree that Sans is genuinely such a good character?? how he seemingly is just another silly guy we meet on our journey but then we realise that he actually is very knowledgeable and then hes the JUDGE and he determines (no pun intended ironically) whether we are worthy of going past him... but then that ALSO turns out to have a deeper meaning too.
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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Listen. Probably my favorite thing about The Terror is that because the story is one planned out season, the arcs and parallel scenes are set up so cleanly and nicely that it echos.
#listen. i safely traveled the 1st leg of my vacation journey and now im gonna rant abt the terror a sec bc god#i just want to line up all the parallel scenes bc theyre so good in my brain. i love it so much. even my dumbass can see what theyre doing#i dont have a good media analysis brain. i was in and English class full of other stem kids in college who got shouted at for mineing books#like we were looking for data and not going for the meaning lol. but ive watched thr show so many times. so many times and yet reading the#scripts is even better bc it makes it even more clear what theyre doing in each scene. i love it#im just gonna list scenes i remember that echo back. obv the more than god loves them via james as a parallel and an arc for francis. silna#y do u want to die. James god wants u to live. hicky bitching abt the dog thrn the crew bitching abt the dog. james assuring john abt his#being given command. francis reassuring james abt being given command. irving god sees u here more than anywhere. goodsir is god here? any#god? goodsir talking abt the radience when ppl die. goodsir hearing the angles as he dies. theres more but those r at the top of my head#i just wanna line them all up and stare at them. god. do i try to learn video editing for that? with what fucking time? but then i could#force my observations on other ppl in a way thats satisfying lol. maybe. id also want all the lines that echo constantly in my head edited#together. also. reading thr scripts they r obviously writing the apathy of god into the story. the sundog is a portentous celestial eye lol#im gonna have to write out my thoughts on god in the terror. whether or not i make a video. but the thumbnail would b Crozier staring at#the sundogs. i just have zero video editing skills and also zero time when im working lol. ugh but this idea is like a maligned tumor in#my head. and i must satisfy its demands. also just watch the terror. i beg of u. its so so good. also if u dont live in a city hellscape or#the god forsaken desert. go run around in the grass. it feels so so nice. i had to run around the house a few times when i got home lol#unrelated#the terror
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deepfriedtrout · 1 year
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Yo. Signalis writers out there. I have a pretty funky idea I'm leaving out for you because I cannot write for the life of me
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grakkul · 1 year
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I’ve been listening to like 7 different video essays at work each day and I feel insane, wowow cinema
I’m also too close to reading Star Wars fanfic for someone who has only seen like 2 movies on middle school field trips. This can’t be it, I can’t betray my bestest friend and Ben obi wan like that for an andor and a rouge one video essay to do me in.
I have not gotten sick of them at all and I fear I require new ones each coming day
I am becoming more powerful
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enigmasandepiphanies · 2 months
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oh i am so mediocre at what i do
#watched an art video roasting everyone's art and he's right but i feel like i am in the lit form class again#and it's like i love postmodernism and i love art for life's sake and doing what vibes with your creative expression#my art is all for it#but i still care about form still give a fuck about it and still find it pretty and amazing in art like realism#and stylized stuff and yes we develop our own style in any medium and genre BUT FORM IS STILL CONDITIONED#it's fundamentals cause that's how you learn gotta learn the rules to break them#and idk if i ever learnt it#i mean i did but i think i never imbibed it maybe i did imbibe in academic writing and lit cultural analysis but like maybe i haven't gotte#a reality check in it yet#i just wow and it's like i haven't i created stuff in a while but i actually have like my thesis all the letters i wrote to my friends some#poetry lines in my notes app I AM COOKING I AM DOING YOGA gosh ik i am doing sm#but maybe i am not getting the validation i want cause everything is fucking mediocre like brain rots with social media it's so hard to be#to be touched by stuff and actually yet it's really easy cause there's so much abundance of gimmicky things that when you stumble across a#good art you hyperfixate but idk man#i am on my period so#i should write more read more watch more BUT I AM DOING THAT#it just doesn't feel enough like i am just reading for my research paper some poetry book fics watching good movies but also hella lotta#sitcoms and just binge brain rot stuff#I DON'T I HAVE A FERAL SCREAM DUE IN THE WOODS ANYONE WANTS TO COME
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metalsylvester · 1 year
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EVERY SINGLE FUCKING TIME I WATCH ONE OF COUNCIL OF GEEKS' VIDEOS I FORGET WHAT HER OUTRO IS AND SHE FUCKING HITS ME IN THE FEELINGS
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“Disenshittify or Die”
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I'm coming to BURNING MAN! On TUESDAY (Aug 27) at 1PM, I'm giving a talk called "DISENSHITTIFY OR DIE!" at PALENQUE NORTE (7&E). On WEDNESDAY (Aug 28) at NOON, I'm doing a "Talking Caterpillar" Q&A at LIMINAL LABS (830&C).
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Last weekend, I traveled to Las Vegas for Defcon 32, where I had the immense privilege of giving a solo talk on Track 1, entitled "Disenshittify or die! How hackers can seize the means of computation and build a new, good internet that is hardened against our asshole bosses' insatiable horniness for enshittification":
https://info.defcon.org/event/?id=54861
This was a followup to last year's talk, "An Audacious Plan to Halt the Internet's Enshittification," a talk that kicked off a lot of international interest in my analysis of platform decay ("enshittification"):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rimtaSgGz_4
The Defcon organizers have earned a restful week or two, and that means that the video of my talk hasn't yet been posted to Defcon's Youtube channel, so in the meantime, I thought I'd post a lightly edited version of my speech crib. If you're headed to Burning Man, you can hear me reprise this talk at Palenque Norte (7&E); I'm kicking off their lecture series on Tuesday, Aug 27 at 1PM.
==
What the fuck happened to the old, good internet?
I mean, sure, our bosses were a little surveillance-happy, and they were usually up for sharing their data with the NSA, and whenever there was a tossup between user security and growth, it was always YOLO time.
But Google Search used to work. Facebook used to show you posts from people you followed. Uber used to be cheaper than a taxi and pay the driver more than a cabbie made. Amazon used to sell products, not Shein-grade self-destructing dropshipped garbage from all-consonant brands. Apple used to defend your privacy, rather than spying on you with your no-modifications-allowed Iphone.
There was a time when you searching for an album on Spotify would get you that album – not a playlist of insipid AI-generated covers with the same name and art.
Microsoft used to sell you software – sure, it was buggy – but now they just let you access apps in the cloud, so they can watch how you use those apps and strip the features you use the most out of the basic tier and turn them into an upcharge.
What – and I cannot stress this enough – the fuck happened?!
I’m talking about enshittification.
Here’s what enshittification looks like from the outside: First, you see a company that’s being good to its end users. Google puts the best search results at the top; Facebook shows you a feed of posts from people and groups you followl; Uber charges small dollars for a cab; Amazon subsidizes goods and returns and shipping and puts the best match for your product search at the top of the page.
That’s stage one, being good to end users. But there’s another part of this stage, call it stage 1a). That’s figuring out how to lock in those users.
There’s so many ways to lock in users.
If you’re Facebook, the users do it for you. You joined Facebook because there were people there you wanted to hang out with, and other people joined Facebook to hang out with you.
That’s the old “network effects” in action, and with network effects come “the collective action problem." Because you love your friends, but goddamn are they a pain in the ass! You all agree that FB sucks, sure, but can you all agree on when it’s time to leave?
No way.
Can you agree on where to go next?
Hell no.
You’re there because that’s where the support group for your rare disease hangs out, and your bestie is there because that’s where they talk with the people in the country they moved away from, then there’s that friend who coordinates their kid’s little league car pools on FB, and the best dungeon master you know isn’t gonna leave FB because that’s where her customers are.
So you’re stuck, because even though FB use comes at a high cost – your privacy, your dignity and your sanity – that’s still less than the switching cost you’d have to bear if you left: namely, all those friends who have taken you hostage, and whom you are holding hostage
Now, sometimes companies lock you in with money, like Amazon getting you to prepay for a year’s shipping with Prime, or to buy your Audible books on a monthly subscription, which virtually guarantees that every shopping search will start on Amazon, after all, you’ve already paid for it.
Sometimes, they lock you in with DRM, like HP selling you a printer with four ink cartridges filled with fluid that retails for more than $10,000/gallon, and using DRM to stop you from refilling any of those ink carts or using a third-party cartridge. So when one cart runs dry, you have to refill it or throw away your investment in the remaining three cartridges and the printer itself.
Sometimes, it’s a grab bag:
You can’t run your Ios apps without Apple hardware;
you can’t run your Apple music, books and movies on anything except an Ios app;
your iPhone uses parts pairing – DRM handshakes between replacement parts and the main system – so you can’t use third-party parts to fix it; and
every OEM iPhone part has a microscopic Apple logo engraved on it, so Apple can demand that the US Customs and Border Service seize any shipment of refurb Iphone parts as trademark violations.
Think Different, amirite?
Getting you locked in completes phase one of the enshittification cycle and signals the start of phase two: making things worse for you to make things better for business customers.
For example, a platform might poison its search results, like Google selling more and more of its results pages to ads that are identified with lighter and lighter tinier and tinier type.
Or Amazon selling off search results and calling it an “ad” business. They make $38b/year on this scam. The first result for your search is, on average, 29% more expensive than the best match for your search. The first row is 25% more expensive than the best match. On average, the best match for your search is likely to be found seventeen places down on the results page.
Other platforms sell off your feed, like Facebook, which started off showing you the things you asked to see, but now the quantum of content from the people you follow has dwindled to a homeopathic residue, leaving a void that Facebook fills with things that people pay to show you: boosted posts from publishers you haven’t subscribed to, and, of course, ads.
Now at this point you might be thinking ‘sure, if you’re not paying for the product, you’re the product.'
Bullshit!
Bull.
Shit.
The people who buy those Google ads? They pay more every year for worse ad-targeting and more ad-fraud
Those publishers paying to nonconsensually cram their content into your Facebook feed? They have to do that because FB suppresses their ability to reach the people who actually subscribed to them
The Amazon sellers with the best match for your query have to outbid everyone else just to show up on the first page of results. It costs so much to sell on Amazon that between 45-51% of every dollar an independent seller brings in has to be kicked up to Don Bezos and the Amazon crime family. Those sellers don’t have the kind of margins that let them pay 51% They have to raise prices in order to avoid losing money on every sale.
"But wait!" I hear you say!
[Come on, say it!]
"But wait! Things on Amazon aren’t more expensive that things at Target, or Walmart, or at a mom and pop store, or direct from the manufacturer.
"How can sellers be raising prices on Amazon if the price at Amazon is the same as at is everywhere else?"
[Any guesses?!]
That’s right, they charge more everywhere. They have to. Amazon binds its sellers to a policy called “most favored nation status,” which says they can’t charge more on Amazon than they charge elsewhere, including direct from their own factory store.
So every seller that wants to sell on Amazon has to raise their prices everywhere else.
Now, these sellers are Amazon’s best customers. They’re paying for the product, and they’re still getting screwed.
Paying for the product doesn’t fill your vapid boss’s shriveled heart with so much joy that he decides to stop trying to think of ways to fuck you over.
Look at Apple. Remember when Apple offered every Ios user a one-click opt out for app-based surveillance? And 96% of users clicked that box?
(The other four percent were either drunk or Facebook employees or drunk Facebook employees.)
That cost Facebook at least ten billion dollars per year in lost surveillance revenue?
I mean, you love to see it.
But did you know that at the same time Apple started spying on Ios users in the same way that Facebook had been, for surveillance data to use to target users for its competing advertising product?
Your Iphone isn’t an ad-supported gimme. You paid a thousand fucking dollars for that distraction rectangle in your pocket, and you’re still the product. What’s more, Apple has rigged Ios so that you can’t mod the OS to block its spying.
If you’re not not paying for the product, you’re the product, and if you are paying for the product, you’re still the product.
Just ask the farmers who are expected to swap parts into their own busted half-million dollar, mission-critical tractors, but can’t actually use those parts until a technician charges them $200 to drive out to the farm and type a parts pairing unlock code into their console.
John Deere’s not giving away tractors. Give John Deere a half mil for a tractor and you will be the product.
Please, my brothers and sisters in Christ. Please! Stop saying ‘if you’re not paying for the product, you’re the product.’
OK, OK, so that’s phase two of enshittification.
Phase one: be good to users while locking them in.
Phase two: screw the users a little to you can good to business customers while locking them in.
Phase three: screw everybody and take all the value for yourself. Leave behind the absolute bare minimum of utility so that everyone stays locked into your pile of shit.
Enshittification: a tragedy in three acts.
That’s what enshittification looks like from the outside, but what’s going on inside the company? What is the pathological mechanism? What sci-fi entropy ray converts the excellent and useful service into a pile of shit?
That mechanism is called twiddling. Twiddling is when someone alters the back end of a service to change how its business operates, changing prices, costs, search ranking, recommendation criteria and other foundational aspects of the system.
Digital platforms are a twiddler’s utopia. A grocer would need an army of teenagers with pricing guns on rollerblades to reprice everything in the building when someone arrives who’s extra hungry.
Whereas the McDonald’s Investments portfolio company Plexure advertises that it can use surveillance data to predict when an app user has just gotten paid so the seller can tack an extra couple bucks onto the price of their breakfast sandwich.
And of course, as the prophet William Gibson warned us, ‘cyberspace is everting.' With digital shelf tags, grocers can change prices whenever they feel like, like the grocers in Norway, whose e-ink shelf tags change the prices 2,000 times per day.
Every Uber driver is offered a different wage for every job. If a driver has been picky lately, the job pays more. But if the driver has been desperate enough to grab every ride the app offers, the pay goes down, and down, and down.
The law professor Veena Dubal calls this ‘algorithmic wage discrimination.' It’s a prime example of twiddling.
Every youtuber knows what it’s like to be twiddled. You work for weeks or months, spend thousands of dollars to make a video, then the algorithm decides that no one – not your own subscribers, not searchers who type in the exact name of your video – will see it.
Why? Who knows? The algorithm’s rules are not public.
Because content moderation is the last redoubt of security through obscurit: they can’t tell you what the como algorithm is downranking because then you’d cheat.
Youtube is the kind of shitty boss who docks every paycheck for all the rules you’ve broken, but won’t tell you what those rules were, lest you figure out how to break those rules next time without your boss catching you.
Twiddling can also work in some users’ favor, of course. Sometimes platforms twiddle to make things better for end users or business customers.
For example, Emily Baker-White from Forbes revealed the existence of a back-end feature that Tiktok’s management can access they call the “heating tool.”
When a manager applies the heating toll to a performer’s account, that performer’s videos are thrust into the feeds of millions of users, without regard to whether the recommendation algorithm predicts they will enjoy that video.
Why would they do this? Well, here’s an analogy from my boyhood I used to go to this traveling fair that would come to Toronto at the end of every summer, the Canadian National Exhibition. If you’ve been to a fair like the Ex, you know that you can always spot some guy lugging around a comedically huge teddy bear.
Nominally, you win that teddy bear by throwing five balls in a peach-basket, but to a first approximation, no one has ever gotten five balls to stay in that peach-basket.
That guy “won” the teddy bear when a carny on the midway singled him out and said, "fella, I like your face. Tell you what I’m gonna do: You get just one ball in the basket and I’ll give you this keychain, and if you amass two keychains, I’ll let you trade them in for one of these galactic-scale teddy-bears."
That’s how the guy got his teddy bear, which he now has to drag up and down the midway for the rest of the day.
Why the hell did that carny give away the teddy bear? Because it turns the guy into a walking billboard for the midway games. If that dopey-looking Judas Goat can get five balls into a peach basket, then so can you.
Except you can’t.
Tiktok’s heating tool is a way to give away tactical giant teddy bears. When someone in the TikTok brain trust decides they need more sports bros on the platform, they pick one bro out at random and make him king for the day, heating the shit out of his account.
That guy gets a bazillion views and he starts running around on all the sports bro forums trumpeting his success: *I am the Louis Pasteur of sports bro influencers!"
The other sports bros pile in and start retooling to make content that conforms to the idiosyncratic Tiktok format. When they fail to get giant teddy bears of their own, they assume that it’s because they’re doing Tiktok wrong, because they don’t know about the heating tool.
But then comes the day when the TikTok Star Chamber decides they need to lure in more astrologers, so they take the heat off that one lucky sports bro, and start heating up some lucky astrologer.
Giant teddy bears are all over the place: those Uber drivers who were boasting to the NYT ten years ago about earning $50/hour? The Substackers who were rolling in dough? Joe Rogan and his hundred million dollar Spotify payout? Those people are all the proud owners of giant teddy bears, and they’re a steal.
Because every dollar they get from the platform turns into five dollars worth of free labor from suckers who think they just internetting wrong.
Giant teddy bears are just one way of twiddling. Platforms can play games with every part of their business logic, in highly automated ways, that allows them to quickly and efficiently siphon value from end users to business customers and back again, hiding the pea in a shell game conducted at machine speeds, until they’ve got everyone so turned around that they take all the value for themselves.
That’s the how: How the platforms do the trick where they are good to users, then lock users in, then maltreat users to be good to business customers, then lock in those business customers, then take all the value for themselves.
So now we know what is happening, and how it is happening, all that’s left is why it’s happening.
Now, on the one hand, the why is pretty obvious. The less value that end-users and business customers capture, the more value there is left to divide up among the shareholders and the executives.
That’s why, but it doesn’t tell you why now. Companies could have done this shit at any time in the past 20 years, but they didn’t. Or at least, the successful ones didn’t. The ones that turned themselves into piles of shit got treated like piles of shit. We avoided them and they died.
Remember Myspace? Yahoo Search? Livejournal? Sure, they’re still serving some kind of AI slop or programmatic ad junk if you hit those domains, but they’re gone.
And there’s the clue: It used to be that if you enshittified your product, bad things happened to your company. Now, there are no consequences for enshittification, so everyone’s doing it.
Let’s break that down: What stops a company from enshittifying?
There are four forces that discipline tech companies. The first one is, obviously, competition.
If your customers find it easy to leave, then you have to worry about them leaving
Many factors can contribute to how hard or easy it is to depart a platform, like the network effects that Facebook has going for it. But the most important factor is whether there is anywhere to go.
Back in 2012, Facebook bought Insta for a billion dollars. That may seem like chump-change in these days of eleven-digit Big Tech acquisitions, but that was a big sum in those innocent days, and it was an especially big sum to pay for Insta. The company only had 13 employees, and a mere 25 million registered users.
But what mattered to Zuckerberg wasn’t how many users Insta had, it was where those users came from.
[Does anyone know where those Insta users came from?]
That’s right, they left Facebook and joined Insta. They were sick of FB, even though they liked the people there, they hated creepy Zuck, they hated the platform, so they left and they didn’t come back.
So Zuck spent a cool billion to recapture them, A fact he put in writing in a midnight email to CFO David Ebersman, explaining that he was paying over the odds for Insta because his users hated him, and loved Insta. So even if they quit Facebook (the platform), they would still be captured Facebook (the company).
Now, on paper, Zuck’s Instagram acquisition is illegal, but normally, that would be hard to stop, because you’d have to prove that he bought Insta with the intention of curtailing competition.
But in this case, Zuck tripped over his own dick: he put it in writing.
But Obama’s DoJ and FTC just let that one slide, following the pro-monopoly policies of Reagan, Bush I, Clinton and Bush II, and setting an example that Trump would follow, greenlighting gigamergers like the catastrophic, incestuous Warner-Discovery marriage.
Indeed, for 40 years, starting with Carter, and accelerating through Reagan, the US has encouraged monopoly formation, as an official policy, on the grounds that monopolies are “efficient.”
If everyone is using Google Search, that’s something we should celebrate. It means they’ve got the very best search and wouldn’t it be perverse to spend public funds to punish them for making the best product?
But as we all know, Google didn’t maintain search dominance by being best. They did it by paying bribes. More than 20 billion per year to Apple alone to be the default Ios search, plus billions more to Samsung, Mozilla, and anyone else making a product or service with a search-box on it, ensuring that you never stumble on a search engine that’s better than theirs.
Which, in turn, ensured that no one smart invested big in rival search engines, even if they were visibly, obviously superior. Why bother making something better if Google’s buying up all the market oxygen before it can kindle your product to life?
Facebook, Google, Microsoft, Amazon – they’re not “making things” companies, they’re “buying things” companies, taking advantage of official tolerance for anticompetitive acquisitions, predatory pricing, market distorting exclusivity deals and other acts specifically prohibited by existing antitrust law.
Their goal is to become too big to fail, because that makes them too big to jail, and that means they can be too big to care.
Which is why Google Search is a pile of shit and everything on Amazon is dropshipped garbage that instantly disintegrates in a cloud of offgassed volatile organic compounds when you open the box.
Once companies no longer fear losing your business to a competitor, it’s much easier for them to treat you badly, because what’re you gonna do?
Remember Lily Tomlin as Ernestine the AT&T operator in those old SNL sketches? “We don’t care. We don’t have to. We’re the phone company.”
Competition is the first force that serves to discipline companies and the enshittificatory impulses of their leadership, and we just stopped enforcing competition law.
It takes a special kind of smooth-brained asshole – that is, an establishment economist – to insist that the collapse of every industry from eyeglasses to vitamin C into a cartel of five or fewer companies has nothing to do with policies that officially encouraged monopolization.
It’s like we used to put down rat poison and we didn’t have a rat problem. Then these dickheads convinced us that rats were good for us and we stopped putting down rat poison, and now rats are gnawing our faces off and they’re all running around saying, "Who’s to say where all these rats came from? Maybe it was that we stopped putting down poison, but maybe it’s just the Time of the Rats. The Great Forces of History bearing down on this moment to multiply rats beyond all measure!"
Antitrust didn’t slip down that staircase and fall spine-first on that stiletto: they stabbed it in the back and then they pushed it.
And when they killed antitrust, they also killed regulation, the second force that disciplines companies. Regulation is possible, but only when the regulator is more powerful than the regulated entities. When a company is bigger than the government, it gets damned hard to credibly threaten to punish that company, no matter what its sins.
That’s what protected IBM for all those years when it had its boot on the throat of the American tech sector. Do you know, the DOJ fought to break up IBM in the courts from 1970-1982, and that every year, for 12 consecutive years, IBM spent more on lawyers to fight the USG than the DOJ Antitrust Division spent on all the lawyers fighting every antitrust case in the entire USA?
IBM outspent Uncle Sam for 12 years. People called it “Antitrust’s Vietnam.” All that money paid off, because by 1982, the president was Ronald Reagan, a man whose official policy was that monopolies were “efficient." So he dropped the case, and Big Blue wriggled off the hook.
It’s hard to regulate a monopolist, and it’s hard to regulate a cartel. When a sector is composed of hundreds of competing companies, they compete. They genuinely fight with one another, trying to poach each others’ customers and workers. They are at each others’ throats.
It’s hard enough for a couple hundred executives to agree on anything. But when they’re legitimately competing with one another, really obsessing about how to eat each others’ lunches, they can’t agree on anything.
The instant one of them goes to their regulator with some bullshit story, about how it’s impossible to have a decent search engine without fine-grained commercial surveillance; or how it’s impossible to have a secure and easy to use mobile device without a total veto over which software can run on it; or how it’s impossible to administer an ISP’s network unless you can slow down connections to servers whose owners aren’t paying bribes for “premium carriage"; there’s some *other company saying, “That’s bullshit”
“We’ve managed it! Here’s our server logs, our quarterly financials and our customer testimonials to prove it.”
100 companies are a rabble, they're a mob. They can’t agree on a lobbying position. They’re too busy eating each others’ lunch to agree on how to cater a meeting to discuss it.
But let those hundred companies merge to monopoly, absorb one another in an incestuous orgy, turn into five giant companies, so inbred they’ve got a corporate Habsburg jaw, and they become a cartel.
It’s easy for a cartel to agree on what bullshit they’re all going to feed their regulator, and to mobilize some of the excess billions they’ve reaped through consolidation, which freed them from “wasteful competition," sp they can capture their regulators completely.
You know, Congress used to pass federal consumer privacy laws? Not anymore.
The last time Congress managed to pass a federal consumer privacy law was in 1988: The Video Privacy Protection Act. That’s a law that bans video-store clerks from telling newspapers what VHS cassettes you take home. In other words, it regulates three things that have effectively ceased to exist.
The threat of having your video rental history out there in the public eye was not the last or most urgent threat the American public faced, and yet, Congress is deadlocked on passing a privacy law.
Tech companies’ regulatory capture involves a risible and transparent gambit, that is so stupid, it’s an insult to all the good hardworking risible transparent ruses out there.
Namely, they claim that when they violate your consumer, privacy or labor rights, It’s not a crime, because they do it with an app.
Algorithmic wage discrimination isn’t illegal wage theft: we do it with an app.
Spying on you from asshole to appetite isn’t a privacy violation: we do it with an app.
And Amazon’s scam search tool that tricks you into paying 29% more than the best match for your query? Not a ripoff. We do it with an app.
Once we killed competition – stopped putting down rat poison – we got cartels – the rats ate our faces. And the cartels captured their regulators – the rats bought out the poison factory and shut it down.
So companies aren’t constrained by competition or regulation.
But you know what? This is tech, and tech is different.IIt’s different because it’s flexible. Because our computers are Turing-complete universal von Neumann machines. That means that any enshittificatory alteration to a program can be disenshittified with another program.
Every time HP jacks up the price of ink , they invite a competitor to market a refill kit or a compatible cartridge.
When Tesla installs code that says you have to pay an extra monthly fee to use your whole battery, they invite a modder to start selling a kit to jailbreak that battery and charge it all the way up.
Lemme take you through a little example of how that works: Imagine this is a product design meeting for our company’s website, and the guy leading the meeting says “Dudes, you know how our KPI is topline ad-revenue? Well, I’ve calculated that if we make the ads just 20% more invasive and obnoxious, we’ll boost ad rev by 2%”
This is a good pitch. Hit that KPI and everyone gets a fat bonus. We can all take our families on a luxury ski vacation in Switzerland.
But here’s the thing: someone’s gonna stick their arm up – someone who doesn’t give a shit about user well-being, and that person is gonna say, “I love how you think, Elon. But has it occurred to you that if we make the ads 20% more obnoxious, then 40% of our users will go to a search engine and type 'How do I block ads?'"
I mean, what a nightmare! Because once a user does that, the revenue from that user doesn’t rise to 102%. It doesn’t stay at 100% It falls to zero, forever.
[Any guesses why?]
Because no user ever went back to the search engine and typed, 'How do I start seeing ads again?'
Once the user jailbreaks their phone or discovers third party ink, or develops a relationship with an independent Tesla mechanic who’ll unlock all the DLC in their car, that user is gone, forever.
Interoperability – that latent property bequeathed to us courtesy of Herrs Turing and Von Neumann and their infinitely flexible, universal machines – that is a serious check on enshittification.
The fact that Congress hasn’t passed a privacy law since 1988 Is countered, at least in part, by the fact that the majority of web users are now running ad-blockers, which are also tracker-blockers.
But no one’s ever installed a tracker-blocker for an app. Because reverse engineering an app puts in you jeopardy of criminal and civil prosecution under Section 1201 of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act, with penalties of a 5-year prison sentence and a $500k fine for a first offense.
And violating its terms of service puts you in jeopardy under the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act of 1986, which is the law that Ronald Reagan signed in a panic after watching Wargames (seriously!).
Helping other users violate the terms of service can get you hit with a lawsuit for tortious interference with contract. And then there’s trademark, copyright and patent.
All that nonsense we call “IP,” but which Jay Freeman of Cydia calls “Felony Contempt of Business Model."
So if we’re still at that product planning meeting and now it’s time to talk about our app, the guy leading the meeting says, “OK, so we’ll make the ads in the app 20% more obnoxious to pull a 2% increase in topline ad rev?”
And that person who objected to making the website 20% worse? Their hand goes back up. Only this time they say “Why don’t we make the ads 100% more invasive and get a 10% increase in ad rev?"
Because it doesn't matter if a user goes to a search engine and types, “How do I block ads in an app." The answer is: you can't. So YOLO, enshittify away.
“IP” is just a euphemism for “any law that lets me reach outside my company’s walls to exert coercive control over my critics, competitors and customers,” and “app” is just a euphemism for “A web page skinned with the right IP so that protecting your privacy while you use it is a felony.”
Interop used to keep companies from enshittifying. If a company made its client suck, someone would roll out an alternative client, if they ripped a feature out and wanted to sell it back to you as a monthly subscription, someone would make a compatible plugin that restored it for a one-time fee, or for free.
To help people flee Myspace, FB gave them bots that you’d load with your login credentials. It would scrape your waiting Myspace messages and put ‘em in your FB inbox, and login to Myspace and paste your replies into your Myspace outbox. So you didn’t have to choose between the people you loved on Myspace, and Facebook, which launched with a promise never to spy on you. Remember that?!
Thanks to the metastasis of IP, all that is off the table today. Apple owes its very existence to iWork Suite, whose Pages, Numbers and Keynote are file-compatible with Microsoft’s Word, Excel and Powerpoint. But make an IOS runtime that’ll play back the files you bought from Apple’s stores on other platforms, and they’ll nuke you til you glow.
FB wouldn’t have had a hope of breaking Myspace’s grip on social media without that scrape, but scrape FB today in support of an alternative client and their lawyers will bomb you til the rubble bounces.
Google scraped every website in the world to create its search index. Try and scrape Google and they’ll have your head on a pike.
When they did it, it was progress. When you do it to them, that’s piracy. Every pirate wants to be an admiral.
Because this handful of companies has so thoroughly captured their regulators, they can wield the power of the state against you when you try to break their grip on power, even as their own flagrant violations of our rights go unpunished. Because they do them with an app.
Tech lost its fear of competitin it neutralized the threat from regulators, and then put them in harness to attack new startups that might do unto them as they did unto the companies that came before them.
But even so, there was a force that kept our bosses in check That force was us. Tech workers.
Tech workers have historically been in short supply, which gave us power, and our bosses knew it.
To get us to work crazy hours, they came up with a trick. They appealed to our love of technology, and told us that we were heroes of a digital revolution, who would “organize the world’s information and make it useful,” who would “bring the world closer together.”
They brought in expert set-dressers to turn our workplaces into whimsical campuses with free laundry, gourmet cafeterias, massages, and kombucha, and a surgeon on hand to freeze our eggs so that we could work through our fertile years.
They convinced us that we were being pampered, rather than being worked like government mules.
This trick has a name. Fobazi Ettarh, the librarian-theorist, calls it “vocational awe, and Elon Musk calls it being “extremely hardcore.”
This worked very well. Boy did we put in some long-ass hours!
But for our bosses, this trick failed badly. Because if you miss your mother’s funeral and to hit a deadline, and then your boss orders you to enshittify that product, you are gonna experience a profound moral injury, which you are absolutely gonna make your boss share.
Because what are they gonna do? Fire you? They can’t hire someone else to do your job, and you can get a job that’s even better at the shop across the street.
So workers held the line when competition, regulation and interop failed.
But eventually, supply caught up with demand. Tech laid off 260,000 of us last year, and another 100,000 in the first half of this year.
You can’t tell your bosses to go fuck themselves, because they’ll fire your ass and give your job to someone who’ll be only too happy to enshittify that product you built.
That’s why this is all happening right now. Our bosses aren’t different. They didn’t catch a mind-virus that turned them into greedy assholes who don’t care about our users’ wellbeing or the quality of our products.
As far as our bosses have always been concerned, the point of the business was to charge the most, and deliver the least, while sharing as little as possible with suppliers, workers, users and customers. They’re not running charities.
Since day one, our bosses have shown up for work and yanked as hard as they can on the big ENSHITTIFICATION lever behind their desks, only that lever didn’t move much. It was all gummed up by competition, regulation, interop and workers.
As those sources of friction melted away, the enshittification lever started moving very freely.
Which sucks, I know. But think about this for a sec: our bosses, despite being wildly imperfect vessels capable of rationalizing endless greed and cheating, nevertheless oversaw a series of actually great products and services.
Not because they used to be better people, but because they used to be subjected to discipline.
So it follows that if we want to end the enshittocene, dismantle the enshitternet, and build a new, good internet that our bosses can’t wreck, we need to make sure that these constraints are durably installed on that internet, wound around its very roots and nerves. And we have to stand guard over it so that it can’t be dismantled again.
A new, good internet is one that has the positive aspects of the old, good internet: an ethic of technological self-determination, where users of technology (and hackers, tinkerers, startups and others serving as their proxies) can reconfigure and mod the technology they use, so that it does what they need it to do, and so that it can’t be used against them.
But the new, good internet will fix the defects of the old, good internet, the part that made it hard to use for anyone who wasn’t us. And hell yeah we can do that. Tech bosses swear that it’s impossible, that you can’t have a conversation friend without sharing it with Zuck; or search the web without letting Google scrape you down to the viscera; or have a phone that works reliably without giving Apple a veto over the software you install.
They claim that it’s a nonsense to even ponder this kind of thing. It’s like making water that’s not wet. But that’s bullshit. We can have nice things. We can build for the people we love, and give them a place that’s worth of their time and attention.
To do that, we have to install constraints.
The first constraint, remember, is competition. We’re living through a epochal shift in competition policy. After 40 years with antitrust enforcement in an induced coma, a wave of antitrust vigor has swept through governments all over the world. Regulators are stepping in to ban monopolistic practices, open up walled gardens, block anticompetitive mergers, and even unwind corrupt mergers that were undertaken on false pretenses.
Normally this is the place in the speech where I’d list out all the amazing things that have happened over the past four years. The enforcement actions that blocked companies from becoming too big to care, and that scared companies away from even trying.
Like Wiz, which just noped out of the largest acquisition offer in history, turning down Google’s $23b cashout, and deciding to, you know, just be a fucking business that makes money by producing a product that people want and selling it at a competitive price.
Normally, I’d be listing out FTC rulemakings that banned noncompetes nationwid. Or the new merger guidelines the FTC and DOJ cooked up, which – among other things – establish that the agencies should be considering whether a merger will negatively impact privacy.
I had a whole section of this stuff in my notes, a real victory lap, but I deleted it all this week.
[Can anyone guess why?]
That’s right! This week, Judge Amit Mehta, ruling for the DC Circuit of these United States of America, In the docket 20-3010 a case known as United States v. Google LLC, found that “Google is a monopolist, and it has acted as one to maintain its monopoly," and ordered Google and the DOJ to propose a schedule for a remedy, like breaking the company up.
So yeah, that was pretty fucking epic.
Now, this antitrust stuff is pretty esoteric, and I won’t gatekeep you or shame you if you wanna keep a little distance on this subject. Nearly everyone is an antitrust normie, and that's OK. But if you’re a normie, you’re probably only catching little bits and pieces of the narrative, and let me tell you, the monopolists know it and they are flooding the zone.
The Wall Street Journal has published over 100 editorials condemning FTC Chair Lina Khan, saying she’s an ineffectual do-nothing, wasting public funds chasing doomed, quixotic adventures against poor, innocent businesses accomplishing nothing
[Does anyone out there know who owns the Wall Street Journal?]
That’s right, it’s Rupert Murdoch. Do you really think Rupert Murdoch pays his editorial board to write one hundred editorials about someone who’s not getting anything done?
The reality is that in the USA, in the UK, in the EU, in Australia, in Canada, in Japan, in South Korea, even in China, we are seeing more antitrust action over the past four years than over the preceding forty years.
Remember, competition law is actually pretty robust. The problem isn’t the law, It’s the enforcement priorities. Reagan put antitrust in mothballs 40 years ago, but that elegant weapon from a more civilized age is now back in the hands of people who know how to use it, and they’re swinging for the fences.
Next up: regulation.
As the seemingly inescapable power of the tech giants is revealed for the sham it always was, governments and regulators are finally gonna kill the “one weird trick” of violating the law, and saying “It doesn’t count, we did it with an app.”
Like in the EU, they’re rolling out the Digital Markets Act this year. That’s a law requiring dominant platforms to stand up APIs so that third parties can offer interoperable services.
So a co-op, a nonprofit, a hobbyist, a startup, or a local government agency wil eventuallyl be able to offer, say, a social media server that can interconnect with one of the dominant social media silos, and users who switch to that new platform will be able to continue to exchange messages with the users they follow and groups they belong to, so the switching costs will fall to damned near zero.
That’s a very cool rule, but what’s even cooler is how it’s gonna be enforced. Previous EU tech rules were “regulations” as in the GDPR – the General Data Privacy Regulation. EU regs need to be “transposed” into laws in each of the 27 EU member states, so they become national laws that get enforced by national courts.
For Big Tech, that means all previous tech regulations are enforced in Ireland, because Ireland is a tax haven, and all the tech companies fly Irish flags of convenience.
Here’s the thing: every tax haven is also a crime haven. After all, if Google can pretend it’s Irish this week, it can pretend to be Cypriot, or Maltese, or Luxembougeious next week. So Ireland has to keep these footloose criminal enterprises happy, or they’ll up sticks and go somewhere else.
This is why the GDPR is such a goddamned joke in practice. Big tech wipes its ass with the GDPR, and the only way to punish them starts with Ireland’s privacy commissioner, who barely bothers to get out of bed. This is an agency that spends most of its time watching cartoons on TV in its pajamas and eating breakfast cereal. So all of the big GDPR cases go to Ireland and they die there.
This is hardly a secret. The European Commission knows it’s going on. So with the DMA, the Commission has changed things up: The DMA is an “Act,” not a “Regulation.” Meaning it gets enforced in the EU’s federal courts, bypassing the national courts in crime-havens like Ireland.
In other words, the “we violate privacy law, but we do it with an app” gambit that worked on Ireland’s toothless privacy watchdog is now a dead letter, because EU federal judges have no reason to swallow that obvious bullshit.
Here in the US, the dam is breaking on federal consumer privacy law – at last!
Remember, our last privacy law was passed in 1988 to protect the sanctity of VHS rental history. It's been a minute.
And the thing is, there's a lot of people who are angry about stuff that has some nexus with America's piss-poor privacy landscape. Worried that Facebook turned grampy into a Qanon? That Insta made your teen anorexic? That TikTok is brainwashing millennials into quoting Osama Bin Laden? Or that cops are rolling up the identities of everyone at a Black Lives Matter protest or the Jan 6 riots by getting location data from Google? Or that Red State Attorneys General are tracking teen girls to out-of-state abortion clinics? Or that Black people are being discriminated against by online lending or hiring platforms? Or that someone is making AI deepfake porn of you?
A federal privacy law with a private right of action – which means that individuals can sue companies that violate their privacy – would go a long way to rectifying all of these problems
There's a pretty big coalition for that kind of privacy law! Which is why we have seen a procession of imperfect (but steadily improving) privacy laws working their way through Congress.
If you sign up for EFF’s mailing list at eff.org we’ll send you an email when these come up, so you can call your Congressjerk or Senator and talk to them about it. Or better yet, make an appointment to drop by their offices when they’re in their districts, and explain to them that you’re not just a registered voter from their district, you’re the kind of elite tech person who goes to Defcon, and then explain the bill to them. That stuff makes a difference.
What about self-help? How are we doing on making interoperability legal again, so hackers can just fix shit without waiting for Congress or a federal agency to act?
All the action here these day is in the state Right to Repair fight. We’re getting state R2R bills, like the one that passed this year in Oregon that bans parts pairing, where DRM is used to keep a device from using a new part until it gets an authorized technician’s unlock code.
These bills are pushed by a fantastic group of organizations called the Repair Coalition, at Repair.org, and they’ll email you when one of these laws is going through your statehouse, so you can meet with your state reps and explain to the JV squad the same thing you told your federal reps.
Repair.org’s prime mover is Ifixit, who are genuine heroes of the repair revolution, and Ifixit’s founder, Kyle Wiens, is here at the con. When you see him, you can shake his hand and tell him thanks, and that’ll be even better if you tell him that you’ve signed up to get alerts at repair.org!
Now, on to the final way that we reverse enhittification and build that new, good internet: you, the tech labor force.
For years, your bosses tricked you into thinking you were founders in waiting, temporarily embarrassed entrepreneurs who were only momentarily drawing a salary.
You certainly weren’t workers. Your power came from your intrinsic virtue, not like those lazy slobs in unions who have to get their power through that kumbaya solidarity nonsense.
It was a trick. You were scammed. The power you had came from scarcity, and so when the scarcity ended, when the industry started ringing up six-figure annual layoffs, your power went away with it.
The only durable source of power for tech workers is as workers, in a union.
Think about Amazon. Warehouse workers have to piss in bottles and have the highest rate of on-the-job maimings of any competing business. Whereas Amazon coders get to show up for work with facial piercings, green mohawks, and black t-shirts that say things their bosses don’t understand. They can piss whenever they want!
That’s not because Jeff Bezos or Andy Jassy loves you guys. It’s because they’re scared you’ll quit and they don’t know how to replace you.
Time for the second obligatory William Gibson quote: “The future is here, it’s just not evenly distributed.” You know who’s living in the future?. Those Amazon blue-collar workers. They are the bleeding edge.
Drivers whose eyeballs are monitored by AI cameras that do digital phrenology on their faces to figure out whether to dock their pay, warehouse workers whose bodies are ruined in just months.
As tech bosses beef up that reserve army of unemployed, skilled tech workers, then those tech workers – you all – will arrive at the same future as them.
Look, I know that you’ve spent your careers explaining in words so small your boss could understand them that you refuse to enshittify the company’s products, and I thank you for your service.
But if you want to go on fighting for the user, you need power that’s more durable than scarcity. You need a union. Wanna learn how? Check out the Tech Workers Coalition and Tech Solidarity, and get organized.
Enshittification didn’t arise because our bosses changed. They were always that guy.
They were always yankin’ on that enshittification lever in the C-suite.
What changed was the environment, everything that kept that switch from moving.
And that’s good news, in a bankshot way, because it means we can make good services out of imperfect people. As a wildly imperfect person myself, I find this heartening.
The new good internet is in our grasp: an internet that has the technological self-determination of the old, good internet, and the greased-skids simplicity of Web 2.0 that let all our normie friends get in on the fun.
Tech bosses want you to think that good UX and enshittification can’t ever be separated. That’s such a self-serving proposition you can spot it from orbit. We know it, 'cause we built the old good internet, and we’ve been fighting a rear-guard action to preserve it for the past two decades.
It’s time to stop playing defense. It's time to go on the offensive. To restore competition, regulation, interop and tech worker power so that we can create the new, good internet we’ll need to fight fascism, the climate emergency, and genocide.
To build a digital nervous system for a 21st century in which our children can thrive and prosper.
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Community voting for SXSW is live! If you wanna hear RIDA QADRI and me talk about how GIG WORKERS can DISENSHITTIFY their jobs with INTEROPERABILITY, VOTE FOR THIS ONE!
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If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/08/17/hack-the-planet/#how-about-a-nice-game-of-chess
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Image: https://twitter.com/igama/status/1822347578094043435/ (cropped)
https://mamot.fr/@[email protected]/112963252835869648
CC BY 4.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/deed.pt
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dcmcboxers · 10 months
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My shout-out to queer youtubers
Hbombs list was great but obviously not comprehensive. I watch a lot of video essayists and wanted to give a little love to the smaller channels that fall under the radar. Please feel free to add to this list!
let's talk about stuff/Sarah Zedig
If you've seen Jesse Gender's videos on the Matrix movies you may already be familiar with Sarah. She does excellent film and culture analysis with a lot of great conversations on paratext and outside influence in engaging with text. Her video on Tunic is one of my favorites.
youtube
Pamphleteer
No one makes videos like hers, which has the side effect making them a bit hard to describe. I will link one of my favorites which describes the disconnected temporality of being older when you discover you're queer.
youtube
Turbo Queer
Really really under watched channel. Skylar covers a lot of topics from video games, to anarchist history and modern events, to autistic life, to current politics. For a fun one check out her video on the SpongeBob strike episode.
youtube
Kaz Rowe
Kaz does a fantastic job examining modern myths and manufactured history primarily pertaining to western Europe, Victorian & Edwardian England, and 1800-1900s US. And of course, talking about historical queerness in all its ambiguities and evolutions. I highly recommend their video on Weimar Germany.
youtube
drapetomania
drapetomania interrogates the politics of low class and high class art and entertainment from a queer and Black perspective. Their art history videos alone cover many angles of white supremacist history I haven't seen anyone else discuss and I'm very excited to see more from them. They are also a very under viewed channel that more people should see!
youtube
I am error
Evelynn's channel primarily discusses video games in a presentation style and voice most similar to Action Button reviews. There's something just a bit more personal here though. I hesitate to say cozy since that word has a bit of an infantilizing connotation, maybe comforting is closer. She puts an immense amount of thought and empathy into the experience of playing video games and the personal narratives we build with them.
youtube
Swolesome
For more transmasc perspectives there's Swolesome. He has a lot of interesting insights into the more traditionally masculine and "broish" communities like fitness as well as commentary on recent trans issues.
youtube
Shonalika
Music, disability, and aggressively non-binary. Their video on gender presentation in heavy metal was really insightful. I would also check out the video "Why I Wear Gloves" for more insight on invisible disabilities.
youtube
Vivian Strange
Vivian delights in being a bit of a contrarian- something I really appreciate. She's probably going to challenge you and you're probably going to disagree at times, which is what makes her channel so important. Her video on Marquis De Sade is powerful and a must watch (if you can stomach the subject material, although I would encourage you to try). I haven't seen her most recent video on Saw yet but I am extremely excited to.
youtube
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silvermoon424 · 1 year
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The Analog/Digital Horror Recommendation Post
A lovely follower of mine asked for recommendations on Analog Horror series to watch since I mentioned I'm a big fan of the genre. I figured it would be best to just make a big post about it all!
This post will be split up into three sections: 1) Direct links to Analog/Digital Horror series with series that I have actually engaged in being in red bold 2) Links to analog horror commentary Youtube channels that do a great job of breaking down and explaining series because they can get kinda confusing 3) Some particular series breakdown videos I highly recommend.
Direct Links to Analog/Digital Horror Series
Angel Hare
ChezzKids Archive
Gemini Home Entertainment
Gilbert Garfield
Harmony & Horror
Hypnogogic Archive
Lacey's Games (I couldn't link to the playlist because the creator hasn't updated it with the latest video; just look for the Lacey videos on their channel, as of October 2023 there are 3)
Local 58
Mandela Catalogue
THE MONUMENT MYTHOS
Mystery Flesh Pit National Park (MY FUCKING BELOVED, also not a video series but rather a blog of in-universe promotional materials, documents, photos, etc. I will be linking to an explanation video)
Needlem0use
Vita Carnis
The Walten Files
Welcome Home (artist is here on Tumblr)
Winter of '83
This list will be updated as I watch more Analog/Digital Horror series! In the meantime, you can refer to the Analog Horror page on TV Tropes if you want even more recommendations.
Youtubers Who Dissect Analog Horror
Pagan Valley
Wendigoon (some videos haven't been added to this playlist so I recommend checking out his general channel)
minaxa
Wowman
Nexpo
Night Mind
ARG/Unfiction Analysis Playlist (400+ videos)
ARG/Analog Horror Explained Playlist (80+ videos)
My Fave Explanation/Analysis Videos
Mystery Flesh Pit National Park
A Digital Horror Tragedy - Lacey's Games Explained
The Most UNDERRATED Analog Horror Series: Winter of 83
The Hypnagogic Archive: An Anthology ARG
The Lost Footage of the Hypnagogic Archive
Vita Carnis - A Terrifying Analog Horror
ChezzKids Archive - A Terrifying Digital Horror
What are The Walten Files?
Gemini and the End of the World
Welcome Home: A Perfectly Innocent Lost Puppet Show!
What is Local58?/LOCAL58: The Broadcast Station that Manipulates You
The TRUE Horror of Local 58
Okay y'all, that should keep you busy for a long time, lol. As I said this will be periodically updated as I find new series and videos! Please feel free to add in your own recommendations in the replies, reblogs, whatever if you have them!
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pazziville · 3 months
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my pazzi roman empire list pt. 2
paige's favorite view
cute interview moment
azzi making a shot and paige impressed as hell
gentlewoman paige pt. 2 + blushing because of azzi
why were they so close? the gap between dorka???
menace azzi
boy, ass grab, must be her girlfriend 😭
azzi's biggest fan
borrowing/matching clothes pt. 3
cute ass bench moment
a biggie concert [another] [two] [three] [lil moment analysis] [four] [five]
azzi filming paige in the background when she dapped up a bigge (assumption)
shoutout to her best friend
paige not being able to not touch azzi
her money's on azzi
azzi annoying paige on the bench
kayla's car with azzi and paige photos (not sure if it is really kayla's car please do correct me if i'm wrong)
kissy face
private but not secret + pazzi following each other on goodreads
paige going straight for the azzi's package 😭
kiki do u love me
this photo this other one and this too
azzi surprising paige in uconn for her birthday 🥹
azzi going to minnesota to help paige with her event
paige using azzi's favorite song as her first night entrance song
pazzi balling in wheelchairs
pazzi with a fan who's wearing a pazzi customized jersey
2024 charity event crumbs [photo]
paige's old ig pfp being a snap of her and stewie (azzi's dog)
paige wearing an azzi shirt [video]
paige being extra when she didn't get a high five immediately from azzi
azzi fudd's 😾
paige pinky promise with azzi's dad and her cute plea to azzi's mom and azzi
azzi fixing paige's grad tassle
pazzi in the beach in europe [azzi in a purple bikini and we know who loves purple 😏 (this is a joke)]
azzi telling paige to go shower lmao
paige dancing with jon and jose and azzi smiling in the background
azzi having hopkin paige photos in her room (this was crazy ngl)
hidden pazzi moments compilation
azzi calling paige at 1am
pazzi touching each other during a huddle crumb
azzi looking at paige compilation
azzi wearing paige's hoodie in the cruise matching shoes in the cruise pazzi cruise pics compilation bonus cruise photo
fetus azzi holding paige cutouts 🥹
matching/borrowing of clothes pt. 4
paige's senior tribute video ft. azzi
matching chains
paige's 'my girl'
azzi picking up paige
sharing/borrowing of keychain
the squad realizing paige and azzi came in together and being so done with them lmao
paige showing azzi off pazzi's kid because we're delusional their kid apparently paige handing her phone to azzi little analysis moment
azzi holding paige's wrist/arm in a huddle
alleged azzi calling paige honey clip
paige allegedly jealous of drew lmaooo
azzi's stare at paige that could KILL [another moment]
watching a soccer pride night game together
sideline flirting idfk what this is but it's crazy [more snaps] [hand on lower back]
kk liking a pazzi edit
azzi wiping paige's tear
the goddamn pazzi slam cover shirt
concerned azzi
clocked them 😭
paige allegedly winning a plushie for azzi
allegedly sharing of clothes pt. idk anymore
THE pazzi timeline w/ some photos
yin & yang
paige's favorite basketball player [another]
this slideshow (9th and 5th slide???!!!)
their favorite movie
this ass touch???
facetimes pt. 2 [another] (these clips will probably be taken down out of respect for jon's wishes to not let his lives be screen recorded and posted anywhere but these were from july 12, 2024)
paige copying azzi 🥹
paige's mom complimenting azzi
azzi eyeing paige
-> next part
a/n: part one here! any worthy pazzi moments to be added in this list can be submitted through my questions in blog. much love. <3
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struwberrii · 3 months
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Hii! I love your headcanons and I’ve been listening to your haikyuu playlists daily<3 i was wondering if you’re able to do kuroo headcanons cause that would be great(^_^) take care
kuroo headcannons ౨ৎ ⋆。˚
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thank you so much!! and thank you for the request!! here are some of my silly headcannons for this dork kuroo tetsurou ヽ(^◇^*)/ (also here’s the link to the kuroo playlist i made)
his love language for EVERYONE is teasing them, especially using his height to his advantage to pick on shorter people
doesn’t really study all that much but has crazy good grades
always walks you to class and surprises you during breaks with snacks
constantly picking on you (guys it just means he likes you)
helps you study but not without making fun of you for being ‘dumb’ first
unironically uses reddit and is constantly reading aita stories
i feel like mentally he’s a middle aged white dad
his favorite show is rick and morty or south park
his mom still packs his lunch (he would pack it but he always forgets)
not secretive about anything, like the entire nekoma team knows his phone password
has very creative insults in arguments
type of guy to eat like instant ramen at 8 am and not have a stomach ache
has a weird amount of sponge bob clothes
doesnt have a skincare routine, doesn’t even use face wash when he washes his face but has perfect skin
honestly he’s kind of a dork
can never tell when girls are flirting with him (girls always think he’s flirting first bc of how he talks)
super good at imessage 8ball
loves grabbing fast food and just eating with you or his friends in the parking lot
plays scrabble on his ipad during class
listens to rock and metal bands
sarcastic af
the worlds louded snorer, sleepovers with him are crazy
at the gym a lot and always asking you to come, sometimes he forces kenma to come too (trust he’s on those work out bikes with his switch in his hands)
gets so nervous when trying to compliment you so he’s just like stuttering and fumbling his words
keeps up with basically every sport
very touchy, always has an arm around you
super confident in your relationship, like he trusts you 110%
loves brushing/playing with you hair, probably knows how to braid hair too
always packs snacks, water and medicine just for you
if anyone else asks him if he has those things on him he says no 😭
looks so good in sweat pants
he met your mom one time and she’s always asking about him now (she loved him and wants you guys to be together)
likes the weirdest foods, like he eats the craziest food combos
literally drinks out of a 64 oz yeti water bottle and refills it hourly
probably really likes deathnote and is always watching those hour long video analysis about the characters and the story
brings a speaker to practice and forced the nekoma team to make a practice playlist with him
tries every new video game with kenma
probably loves hot topic and spencer’s
has a garfield mug
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fruitsofhell · 10 months
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My other fun addition to the Hbomberguy video stuff is not just that you need to start checking everyone's sources just to make sure you aren't being duped, but to not use them as a stand in for media consumption/experiences either. Like I'm not gonna lecture you on reading sources cause I am the first one to not and that's my laziness, but like sometimes more important than checking the original analysis of something is just to... see tge thing being analyzed yourself. That's not even about misinformation or lying, sometimes people's opinions just SUCK ASS.
Like there are youtube video essayists I overall kinda respect but they have dogshit opinions on things. I used to love Jack Saint's bad faith overly critical analyses of throwaway kids films, until I realized he also saw films that in my opinion had a lot of merit, and it turned me off from him. Big Joel is cool as hell, but anytime he gives his opinion on animation save like a few points, I completely glaze over and find him annoying. The other day I watched a video essay about the "Magical Negro" trope, and the first movie sourced interested me, so I watched it and I hardly understand why they put that in, it framed the movie as something it wasn't.
Just in general, it's good practice to make sure your opinions on media are your own and experience it yourself. MY biggest takeaway from the Hbomn video wasn't to throw rocks at Somerton or start obsessively fact-checking every essayist I watch, but to make sure I have a baseline of what they talking about myself and not letting anyone throw around media examples without reckless abandon. The Celluloid Closet and Tinkerbelles and Evil Queens is on my watxh/read list now, but the first thing I did from the words he stole from Celluoid Closet was watch Rebels Without A Cause out of curiosity of this gay subtext in a 50s blockbuster. And it was a super interesting experience that has given me my own unrelated opinions. Not to discount whatever important queer reading and historical importance the film has, but I'm happy I also have more than just that cause I Watched It Myself, not someone's specific and unavoidably biased reading of it.
The video isn't about cultivating suspicion but cultivating appreciation for the skills of analytical/informative/opinion writing. So even when people aren't being lying grifters, it's just good to be your own critic and media analyst. Maybe you'll even contribute to that world yourself, or maybe you'll keep all your cool opinions in your heart and die, who cares. The point is that unlike some people, your opinions and words are your own. It's a beautiful thing to have your own creative voice.
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