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#luca fogale
wandering-moon · 8 months
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nightspires · 10 months
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republicspn · 2 years
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There's a certain bit of stillness
That I only ever chase
Like eyes before they open
Or a storm before it breaks
Running fingers into soil
Releasing all its heat
Well, I can feel the humming
Of the earth beneath my feet
But I seem to forget
When I get all worked up
That you can find every colour
If you look close enough
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hianneleite · 4 months
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- Luca Fogale
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regrese12 · 9 months
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thewarmestofintentions · 11 months
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I don’t want to lose you now or ever
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becomethebooks · 1 year
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And a thought from a dream
She is the light I've always seen A raging fire, rolling down the street And a port in the storm An everlasting sort of warmth I see her eyes in every soul I meet So maybe you're a bluebird, darling Tearing through the darkness of my days
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"Your voice is ringing in my ears
Cadenced and ever-clear
I'm in the middle of the road
Unrequited, uncontrolled
Caught still heavy-handed swing
Swallowed while the heavens sing
To be God-damned, but never feel a thing"
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keeps-onrepeating · 2 years
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republicspn · 1 year
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Luca Fogale - Worthy of Love (Official Video)
youtube
Cause
All the hurt
Left in my blood
Is burning up the world
I used to dream about
I'm lost for answers
And I always was
But you show me what it means
To feel worthy of love
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beomie3 · 9 months
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tokyo 2 - choi beomgyu
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pairing: boyfriend!beomgyu x fem!reader
word count: 18.6k
summary: your dream vacation to tokyo only gets better as you and your boyfriend continue exploring the newfound pool on the balcony of your hotel, but little do you know he has some surprises planned for you. ~lovers in the movies~ type of vibe.
content/warnings: established relationship, romance, fluff, kissing, cursing, some drinking, wholesome smut scene, (v much slow burn), just two lovers falling deeper in love <3
a/n: this is the sequel to my existing story "tokyo"! you can find it here if you haven't read it already :)
✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
♬ [soundtrack]
sunsetz - cigarettes after sex
every color - luca fogale
fallingforyou - the 1975
over the moon - the marias
double take - dhruv
the dress - dijon
baby blue - frazier blue
peach eyes - wave to earth
astronomy - conan gray
get you the moon - kina
electric love - night traveler
take me where your heart is - Q
skin - dijon
hold on - flor
japanese denim - daniel caesar
tonight - summer walker
to love - suki waterhouse
sweet - cigarettes after sex
intro: serendipity - bts
fairy of shampoo - txt
striptease - carwash
sweet disposition - the temper trap
lover - taylor swift
feels like - gracie abrams
you! - lany
turning page - sydney rose
heaven - niall horan
nap of a star - txt
yellow - coldplay
immerse yourself in the story & listen while you read for a cinematic experience :) it’s a bit long, but the songs go along with the story!
✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚
what could he possibly have in mind? you chuckled to yourself as you stood outside by the newly discovered infinity pool, gazing out at the twinkling city as your white sundress swayed gently with the lukewarm breeze.
the sun had set its glimmering eye behind the city's tall buildings, eventually only the skyline's silhouette left as the sky glowed a dim hue of orange. beomgyu had asked you to stay outside, that he'd be right back after he ran into the hotel room to do something. of course, you wondered what the hell your mischievous boyfriend could be up to. but you enjoyed the thrill of what was to come; he always had something exciting up his sleeve.
you noticed the way the full moon slowly brightened in the sky, moving in opposite tandem with the sun. it had been visible throughout the day, just a faint whisper in the sky, almost invisible.
you always found it most beautiful when the sun and moon were both visible in the sky at the same time. it reminded you of how opposite they are, yet how beautifully they complement one another.
every once and a while you glanced proudly over your shoulder at your boyfriend's newest discovery; the shimmering pool and hot tub, its water reflecting the city lights like a mirror. the day's memories dawned over you, a special one immediately blooming like a flower in your mind; the events of when beomgyu sang wonder for you on the bridge several nights ago. a smile crawled onto your lips as a result, one you wouldn't quite be able to rid for the rest of the night.
~
as the final tinge of sunlight faded its way from the sky, a deep shade of red, almost burgundy, tinted the navy blue abyss. you had been so infatuated with the beauty of the melting sunset you were unaware that the sliding glass door had been closed by beomgyu as he had returned. but of course, you hadn't heard a thing because he made sure to close it as gently as possible, tip-toeing his way over to you as quiet as a ghost.
he didn't want to scare you, but he slightly startled you with his unsuspecting touch as he gently pressed his chest to your back. you only tensed for a brief moment until you concluded it was your boyfriend, relaxing under his warmth as he wrapped his arms around your waist, clasping his hands softly over your stomach. to bring him even closer, you crossed your arms to reach around your own torso, trailing your fingers up his arms as you held him tightly.
you sensed the weight of his chin on your left shoulder, feeling his gentle breaths fan against your exposed skin, the warmth of his cheek under your ear as he snuggled into the crook of your neck.
the feeling you got from his hugs, especially the ones from behind, was something so warm, so fuzzy in your heart. everything about him; his sweet aroma, feather-soft lips as they grazed your skin. he gave you a feeling of comfort you never knew was even possible.
the crimson-tinted sky had almost fully disappeared as the sun was long gone under the horizon, only a subtle whisper of deep red left to fade away into the darkness.
"the sunset is so pretty," he whispered against your ear, a chill aching to race up your spine at the warmth of his breath against you. you smiled at his comment. his statement was true, but there was something else- someone who topped it. the man standing behind you with his arms snaked around you. he radiated the most beauty.
"but not as pretty as you." "but not as pretty as you."
"jinx!" "jinx!
you both had shouted the same thing word for word, like you knew exactly what the other was thinking. and that wasn't a rarity; it was often that you yelled jinx at each other. but every time, your similar ways of thinking surprised you more than the last. it was literally like you shared the same brain cells.
he giggled adorably at the fact you two had said the exact same thing; head thrown back as you felt his chest heave in laughter against your back.
"i said it first so.. jinx you owe me a soda!" you giggled, angling your head up to get a look at him. a subtle tinge grew across your cheeks at how close his face was to yours; soft skin and sharp jawline adjacent to your gaze, your heart pounding as his large eyes quickly focused into yours.
"but what if i said it first?" he tilted his head playfully, ever so slowly inching his face closer to yours as his eyes pulled you into their deep brown trance.
"then you still owe me a kiss," you returned his playfulness, but really, you weren't joking so much as you were telling the truth. you really did want to kiss him in this moment. his eyes so irresistibly gazing into yours, so deeply you could already feel his lips on yours before either of you even made a move.
his lips twitched upward at your request, inching his face so close to yours until the tips of your noses touched. "i can do that," he whispered through a small giggle, his toothy grin gleaming like the rays of sun that had long disappeared beyond the horizon.
grazing his fingertips along your jaw, he neared his face to yours, closing the tiny gap that was left between your lips to unite. a heartfelt kiss it was; one full of such joy that you could feel his smile grow against your lips, getting a subtle taste of his cherry chapstick. you couldn't resist letting out a few giggles at how quickly your heart was beginning to fill with such warmth.
the kiss was deepened as you turned to face him by standing on your tiptoes, snaking your arms around his neck to pull him down even closer. when it seemed as if your bodies couldn't get any closer, they did as he wrapped his arms tightly around your lower back, pulling you so close that his warmth cradled you. at this point, your teeth had even begun to clash due to how big your smiles had grown, no lips even left to kiss because of how curled they were from your toothy grins.
at the realization of this, beomgyu pulled away, examining your smiling face; his favorite expression of yours. your eyes fluttered open and you stared back at his ginormous grin and glittering eyes, your cheeks beginning to ache and tighten from how large your smile had grown. but he looked too damn cute, how could you not be smiling like an idiot?
"no but really, the sunset is not as pretty as you," he remarked, exaggeratedly shaking his head to get his point across.
opening your mouth to argue back, he read the awaiting comeback forming on your lips as he suddenly tightened his arms below your hips, picking you up off the ground before you could even say a word. forgetting what you wanted to say at an instant, your attention shifted to the fact that beomgyu was now walking you over to the large, glowing pool.
"gyu what are you doing!?" you yelled through a hysteric laugh, heart racing at how close he was getting to the edge of the water. is he planning on throwing me in?? was all your mind could process.
you were half right. "brace yourself!" was what he yelled as he ran full speed off the ledge, jumping into the deep end of the pool with you in his arms. and with a wave of thrill in your chest, a yell-like laugh left your mouth, one you had inherited from none other than your boyfriend.
you shut your eyes and made sure to release air out of your nose as you felt your body make contact with the lukewarm water, immediately coming up for a breath as you both became submerged.
although you were slightly annoyed at beomgyu with the fact that you had been unexpectedly catapulted into a pool with every last article of your clothing on, that feeling didn't even last longer than five seconds when you felt his hand grip your ankle underwater.
you couldn't help but roll your eyes and smile, filling your lungs with oxygen before plunging back underwater to find him. although the chlorine stung your eyes a bit when you opened them, the feeling quickly went away as you got used to it.
you discovered his tall figure floating beneath yours like a dark shadow; made up of his darkened hair, black baggy shirt and shorts as they floated loosely in the turquoise light. not to mention, his hand firmly around your ankle as he swam further toward the bottom of the pool, trying to pull you to him.
you quickly freed your ankle from his grasp with a few tugs, excitedly swimming headfirst as deep as you could into the deep end to catch up with him at the bottom. the water ran it's cool fingers through your hair as you swam deeper, entranced with the way it engulfed you.
he stared up at you with large, innocent eyes, auburn hair floating freely around his head, cheeks filled with air. he held his arms out to you, waiting for you to swim into them, his cuteness only enticing you to swim faster.
both of your hearts pulsated rapidly every passing second you maintained eye contact; two lovers yearning to be reunited.
when you reached him, you swam into his arms, wrapping yourself around his baggy shirt that floated around him, and he looped his arm around your waist, baggy dress surrounding your body like a fluffy cloud. your hair floated around your body, similar to your dress.
bubbles of oxygen escaped your noses every now and then as you stared at one another underwater, admiring the way your faces glowed in the turquoise ambiance of the pool light.
his eyelashes; quick to draw your attention. their pretty length and how gently they batted against his cheeks whenever he blinked. even picking up on the tiny oxygen bubbles which floated up toward the surface at every bat of his eye.
even underwater, with your vision blurred and all- he was absolutely beautiful. it was like a dream; features lit by the fuzzy, baby-blue ambiance of the water around him. he was constantly astonishing you with his beauty.
and he noticed your soft skin and bright eyes and the way your hair flowed behind you; watching it glide underwater in slow motion like the hair of a goddess. he reached out to touch it as if it were calling his name, his movements so soft and gentle, inviting your fingers to his hair as well.
noses grazing one another's, his dreamy gaze peered into yours, trailing down to your lips and in a flash they were locked to yours.
kissing underwater felt much different than the countless kisses you had shared. this kiss was a lot softer; the taste of chlorine lingering in your mouth instead of his signature taste. it felt as if you were kissing a soft, velvety pillow; the way his lips closed around yours delicately, savoring every last second until you began running out of air.
unable to hold it any longer, you tugged on his shirt and he took this cue to return back to the surface, pulling you up with him.
you had surprised yourself with how long you and beomgyu were able to hold your breath as the sky had now faded to pitch black when you came back from your blue dream, up to the real world. no more dusty crimson clouds, now only the small speckles of stars shining brightly, matching with the tiny, lit windows of the skyline far away. but really, it best resembled the sparkle of his eyes.
this view. you swam to the pool's ledge, supporting yourself on the cement with your elbows. your eyes fixed on the view on the other side of the infinity pool, simply breath taken by just how beautiful the city sparkled all around you.
"it's so beautiful," you whispered against the tile of the pool wall, your heart racing in excitement over it all; this was like- the best view of tokyo anyone could have.
you sensed beomgyu swim up behind you, snaking his arms around your waist like he always does.
"hi~" his soft breath fanned against your ear. although the water was lukewarm, your skin still became chilled with sudden goosebumps ignited by his touch.
you sighed as he pressed wet kisses on the top of your shoulder, using his hand to gently massage the other one, soothing your priorly tensed muscles. the sudden shift of the ambiance invited a gentle wave of heat throughout your body as his fingers trailed down your arm so softly, the ache of goosebumps pelting your skin.
"is this the surprise you had for me, gyu?" you smirked with your head tilted to one side, exposing your neck for easy access for him to continue drowning the area in kisses.
he hummed against your soft flesh, leaving a trail of smooches from your shoulder to the base of your ear. and with the deepest, most gentle of voices, he breathed his response.
"just wait a bit longer, angel. that comes later." he whispered in your ear with the voice you couldn't even begin to express your love for. your heart pulsated in excitement for whatever was to come.
you both just sat there staring out at the view, his chin on your shoulder, observing the tiny cars on the street moving in what seemed like slow motion.
you at kicked each other's feet underwater as you made up a game to play; the game of which window light will turn off next? in which you had to guess which window light will be the next to go dark out of all the hundreds of lit windows. surprisingly, beomgyu won twice.
you had a long conversation about what you think each person in each window is doing. "i think that person is making ramyeon and getting ready to binge their favorite show," you announced, pointing confidently at the small speck of light glowing from the distant window.
he giggled. "and that person is getting ready for a date night with the love of their life," he pointed at another set of dim curtains.
"sounds like us," you commented, turning to gaze at him from behind you. he smiled large, looking up at you with puppy eyes. he was so adorable, you couldn't ever resist the urge to pepper his face with kisses. so you did just that.
~
simply relaxing in the pool just wouldn't cut it for beomgyu, it wasn't long before his shenanigans began again. "bet you can't beat me!" he shouted, quickly doggy paddling over to the other end of the pool, swimming away with a few large splashes at you to get an advantage.
the beomgyu advantage was always the most mischievous, unfair, and downright comical card he would pull when he felt in the mood to be a trickster. his mischief was known well between mutual friends and pretty much his entire family. he was always known as the class clown, that was your first impression of him when you met in college.
you always tried to get back at him, though, rolling your eyes with a certain competitive playfulness only he brought out in you. you swam after him as fast as you could, yearning to grab a piece of his shirt that floated loosely behind him.
before he could reach the ledge of the pool, you grabbed the material of his shirt, pulling him towards you and then wrapped your arms around him to climb onto his back. squeezing him tightly from behind you dug your chin into his neck, tickling him to no end. at this he yelled his usual, loud and exaggerated yell.
when he was distracted enough, you crawled around his body, pushing off of him to grab the ledge of the pool, throwing your arms up in victory.
"i won! i won!," you cheered, applauding yourself for successfully getting him back amidst his mischief. he smiled through large huffs, still catching his breath from the whole event. paddling toward you with a shrug in defeat, he softly placed his hands on your waist. a tiny smirk on his lips.
you were slightly suspicious; he didn't usually admit defeat this easily. and just at the brink of thought, before you could even move a muscle, he closed his fingers tightly around your waist, digging them into your most hyper-sensitive areas. he tickled you right back. waves of ticklish discomfort and laughter dispersed throughout your body, fighting to free yourself from him.
"i'll stop if you kiss me," he scrunched his face as water splashed him with how much you squirmed, immediately crashing your lips to his at the sound of his compromise. and as if he completely forgot what he was even doing, he melted right into the kiss, softening his grip on your waist.
but the kiss didn't last longer than two seconds as you quickly pecked his lips, leaving him with a pout; it was your way of teasing him back, sticking your tongue out at him with an evil smile. a cocky grin formed on his face as his bottom lip found its way between his teeth; you had only left him wanting more.
there was a sudden knock at the front door of your hotel room right before he could plot his revenge, his eyes fixated to you with a certain demise. but his face softened when your wide eyes fell to his, not able to stay annoyed at you for longer than two seconds at the sight of your curious expression.
"be right back," he softly pecked your lips before swimming away to the shallow steps; quickly exiting the pool with the sound of his drenched clothing pattering on the slick cement like heavy rainfall.
you observed his every move as he stepped out of the pool; the way his wet clothing clung so seamlessly to his body left you mesmerized.
your eyes didn't know where to focus due to the entirety of his beauty, so they were slowly drawn to the outline of his broad shoulders and abdomen through his shirt; admiring the way water dripped from his shorts down his long legs. and to say the least, the sight had you flustered by the second. your gaze trailed back up to his face; half covered by strands of dark, wet hair. god was he beautiful.
lazily drying himself off with a towel and throwing it over his shoulder, he quickly ran into the hotel room. the sound of him speaking briefly to the mystery person at the door in japanese echoed through the room. then after a few seconds, the sound of him closing the door, faintly heard by you from the pool.
the anticipation built up as the quick patter of his footsteps returned. he then emerged from the white curtain of the sliding glass door with what looked like a bottle of champagne and two thin, tall glasses.
a large grin surfaced to your lips as he pranced over to you, a pep in his step as he enthusiastically showcased the large bottle in hand.
"the finest champagne for the finest lady," he gestured, a sweet smile on his delicate lips that you could kiss for an eternity.
one of many things that you absolutely loved about choi beomgyu was how romantic he was. everything from flowers to chocolates, rose petal baths, or the way he caressed your body, the way he respected and cherished you. he never failed to make your heart melt, ever since day one.
"awww beomie!!" you swam over to the shallow end in excitement to where he awaited with an outstretched hand, offering it to you once you got close enough to the steps.
he helped you out of the pool, your white dress heavy with water as you wrung some of its weight out. you hugged his waist, shirt sticking to his skin now cold and damp.
suddenly, a gust of wind swept through the patio, instantly freezing your wet skin, the absence of body heat making you shiver.
"gyu, bring the champagne over to the hot tub!!" you exclaimed, quickly tip-toeing your way over to the warm relief of steaming water. you didn't notice your boyfriend's lingering eyes on you, observing your every move. he was cold too, but you warmed his heart with how cute you looked as you ran with a skip in your step, noticing the way your dress hugged your body closely.
walking over to the steaming hot tub, he set the bottle and glasses down with a clink, near the edge for easy access, not tearing his gaze from you once.
as you began to step into the bubbling water, you sucked air through your teeth, scoffing at the sheer heat of it. you decided to take it slow, holding onto the metal bar for support, inching your way into about knee height until you could tolerate the pleasurable burn.
"do you want me to help you in, pretty?" he asked as he noticed your struggle. with a nod of your head, he stepped into the steaming water onto the step behind you, softly hugging your waist for a moment to get by. he then lowered himself onto the step in front of you, turning to face you, his chin level with your chest.
your heart leaped at the beautiful sight before you; his face, fresh and adorned with dark, wet locks. not to mention his large, sparkling eyes looking up at you innocently as he maintained all eye contact.
he smiled sweetly as a dimple appeared on his cheek, nearing his face closer to your chest until his lips met the lacy material of your dress' neckline, not once tearing his gaze from yours.
to him, it was pretty much impossible not to give in. you're drop-dead gorgeous in your white sundress; the moon illuminating the dew of your skin, wet hair swept gorgeously over your shoulder. he was just head over heels for you.
you could feel his smile grow between your breasts as he grinned against the wet material of the dress but then pulled away, giving you a small wink. a little tease he was.
gently biting at your lip, you smirked, playfully rolling your eyes at his teasing gesture. he smiled back, followed by a low giggle; he knew perfectly what he was doing. you splashed water at him. teasing one another; a never-ending game it was.
"are you gonna help me in or what?" you put your hands on your hips, tilting your head to add a little more sass. he grinned at your gesture and threw two hands up in defense, finding your sassiness the cutest thing in the world.
"okay, okay! here, i'll get in first and then you get on my shoulders and i'll slowly lower you in," he suggested, turning around and sinking down further into the water until only his head poked out of the steaming surface.
you could only think- how on earth was he able to wade neck deep into the hot tub without a second of hesitation?? the water felt like molten lava. maybe he is an actual bear disguised as a handsome boy.
he turned to look at you, one of his thick eyebrows raised in question under his wet hair, as to ask what's taking you so long.
you giggled at him, walking forward until your thighs were pressed against his back. you balanced as you put one leg on his right shoulder, and then the other.
using your free hands, you placed them under his chin to better secure yourself onto him, laughing as your thighs nearly engulfed his neck. taking this cue, he began walking forward, your stomach jolting at the heat climbing up higher and higher on your skin.
finally, the two of you were amidst the bubbling water, goosebumps decorating your skin at the pleasurable sensation the heat dispersed all over your body. you climbed down from his shoulders and onto his back, hugging the loose material of his shirt, which tickled your skin with every of his movements.
he took you into his arms playfully, hugging you tightly underwater. these kinds of embraces were best; when he pressed you so close you could hardly catch your next breath.
the two of you sat in silence for a while, nuzzling into his shoulder as you basked in the whir of bubbles, moonlight, the city view; just enjoying the moment.
"ah! how could i forget," he suddenly exclaimed from beside you, calling your attention as he shifted his weight around. he reached over, pulling the champagne from out of its ice-filled bucket.
he used his strength to twist the cork off, leaving you infatuated at the way the veins in his arms accentuated in this steamy lighting. a loud pop sounded as bubbles began to gush from the bottle, his loud laugh overpowering your small cheers as he raised the bottle in the air like it was a trophy he had just won. we won't talk about the one time he pelted you in the head with the cork on your twenty-first birthday.
he noticed the way you slightly hid behind his shoulder at the pop of the bottle, leaning over to kiss your forehead, right over the long-gone (once bright purple) bruise of the cork.
"i haven't forgotten about that," he cooed into your skin, pecking the area once more.
"cheers to not getting pelted by the cork this time," you raised your glass in the air once he had filled two servings with the fizzy drink. he interjected; "aaaaand for also for being the best girlfriend in the world," he nudged you with his elbow and you rolled your eyes playfully, looking up at him with a raised eyebrow.
"cheers, i guess" you chimed in sarcastically, trying to hide your smile, failing miserably when his laughter controlled your senses, collapsing your head into his shoulder. you clinked your glasses together before taking a sip of the bubbly beverage, its peach sparkle tickling your mouth.
"mmm peach!" you closed your eyes in delight, taking another sip of the stinging carbonation. "delicious like you," he replied smoothly like always, never failing to make you blush with his cheesy yet adorable remarks.
you sipped on the bubbly goodness slowly growing relaxed, observing the city lights grow brighter as the night became more alive. it wasn't long before you two became a hysterical mess, taking turns pouring champagne into one another's mouths and competing to see who could go the longest without laughing and spitting it out everywhere. your face ached with how much you smiled with puffed cheeks, fighting the urge to absolutely lose it (ultimately losing it).  
downing the last of the champagne together, you watched as some drizzled out of his mouth and down his neck, following a path over his adams apple, admiring the sexy sight. you licked the trail from his neck and soon, fingers were intertwined in his hair, lips interlocked, tasting the peach bubbles inside eachother's mouths, messily making out with it. you just wanted to taste every bit of him.
~
moments passed as the once delirious mood slowly faded into the night. the two of you laid your heads back so that they perfectly reclined on the smooth tile that rimmed the jacuzzi. warm steam and moonlight cast onto your faces brightly, illuminating every little expression, smile, and laugh as you talked about anything and everything.
"i think that's saturn," he spoke enthusiastically from beside you, pointing up at one of many small specks in the dark sky.
"really? because what i remember from taking that astronomy class like- sophomore year, it's actually mars," you teased, looking over at him with that smart-alec expression you liked to use. he returned the expression, crossing his arms dramatically underwater as he formulated a comeback.
"well, from what i remember in astronomy class was that i got an A plus and you got an A minus," he retorted, looking over at you with a proud expression, lips protruding, head tilted back. you couldn't help but notice the resemblance between him and a little duck in this moment, and all the moments he was proud of himself or simply just being a goofball.
you rolled your eyes, trying your hardest to keep a serious expression by pushing your smile down, but it just couldn't stay down; one glance at his face and your lips contorted into the biggest grin ever. he turned to look at you with a smile of his own, moonlight illuminating every crevice of his features from his dimple to the little whiskers that formed next to his doe eyes, your heart aflutter.
your squeezed his hand underwater, turning to look back up at the speckled sky, focusing on the bright moon directly above you. your smile settled as you entered a moment of thought, drifting to one you held deeply, one that settled your mood into a more solemn one, your heart heavy with it.
"you know, its crazy to think that we only live once, and that one day we'll just be...gone," you spewed out, eyes so focused on the moon that you could begin to see its craters. at this, beomgyu looked over at you in all seriousness. he dawned over your remark for a while, just the breeze and gentle jacuzzi bubbles heard between you.
"but i think that's what makes life beautiful, in a way. that we're only here for a limited amount of time. and i'm grateful i get to spend it with you," he responded, his soft voice like the small glowing clouds floating amongst the moon. you turned to look at him to find him already looking at you, cheek squished against the tile of the jacuzzi. his eyes radiated nothing but light.
you thought; if you could, you would give him the moon. out of everything he's done for you, who he is as a person; that was the least he deserved. really, it seemed that nothing on this planet could shine brighter than the light that radiated off of this boy.
but if you could just see it from his perspective, you didn't need to give him the moon, because he already had you. and that was all he needed. you were his moon and he was your sun. like the sun and moon; you both shine brightly, no matter how much you might contrast; you are ultimately perfect just the way you are.
because when the sun and the moon are in the sky at the same time, they are even more beautiful together.
you just sat there in silence, the sides of your cheeks pressed to the cool tile as you stared at one another, smiles slowly fading as thickness fogged the air. his gaze fixed on each of your eyes individually, searching them like they were treasure chests filled with gold. your face warmer than the hot tub steam.
"dummy" he thwarted your forehead with his index and thumb, a gesture he made to lighten the mood. "you know i'll be by your side forever, " he rolled his eyes with a small chuckle. he was right. you giggled, forgetting about your solemn mood.
faces only inches apart, his smile settled so that his lips were now only slightly parted, moving slowly to meet them with yours. your lips locked at the slowest pace possible, perfectly connecting like the last piece of a puzzle; like they were made for each other. he gently took your bottom lip in between his. you felt his warm, wet hand on the side of your face, droplets of water scurrying from his wrist to your cheek and then down to your neck.
the kisses were slow and passionate, sucking at his full lips as he occasionally nibbled at yours. beomgyu was such a great kisser, caressing your face and neck with a gentle touch, smoothly gliding his tongue in all the right places, making the most of every second your lips were connected.
it gave you goosebumps how good he was, actually. every single kiss was always absolutely perfect, no matter how many you had shared together; quick ones, silly ones, drunk ones, teary-eyed ones, passion-filled ones. it always felt like the first, hearts beating quickly as a subtle warmth blanketed you.
"i love you to the moon and back," you whispered against his nose once you had come up for a breath. this was a rather new thing you had begun saying to one another, one that really only started since coming to japan. it was like the moon radiated so much brighter here, when in reality was most likely just an illusion. it was your love that was glowing more than ever.
"well i love you way beyond the moon," he one-upped you, a small smile on his lips as he rejoined them to yours. as you shared your kiss, a small rumble came from the sky, a cool drop of water pelting your forehead.
drop after drop began plopping into the water around you, inviting a soft gasp from your boyfriend's lips. but you just kissed there, basking in peaceful silence, enjoying the pattering of rain all around you. he held your hand underwater, clutching it tighter as the rain fell harder. it was like you were the only two people in the entire world and the rain only added to its ambiance.
the pace that he kissed you slowed until you pulled away to meet his starry gaze. the rain quickened, plopping into the hot tub steadily, matting your hair down even more than it already was.
without a word, he began pulling you to the jacuzzi steps until you exited its warmth with the heaviness of your white sundress. your clothes, drenched in water, enhanced the pitter-patter on the concrete creating a rainfall of your own.
walking you over to the small platform that was the bit of open space next to the jacuzzi with a perfect view of the city, he turned to face you with his hand outstretched.
"may i have this dance?" he held his hand out, bowing his head and all. you giggled; he still managed to charm you no matter how cheesy he was at times. but what more could this boy possibly do to make you fall deeper in love? you thought it was impossible to love someone more than you did him; you just loved him more and more every day that your heart ached.
grinning, you took his hand, melting into him as you pressed the side of your cheek to the damp fabric of his chest, beginning to gently sway with the gentle beat of the rain. the moonlight peeked through a haze of clouds above you as the rain fell with its signature murmur, cool droplets pelting your skin.
two star-crossed lovers dancing under the bright speckles of the night sky; you couldn't ask for anything better in this moment. it was absolutely perfect.
he rested his cheek on the crown of your head, beginning to hum a gentle, unfamiliar tune. must be a new song he's writing, you thought to yourself, as that's what was usually the case when he hummed a foreign tune.
he hugged your lower back, fiddling with the frayed edge of your wet dress with his eyes closed, opening them to meet yours when you looked up at him. he knew that curious gleam in your eye the moment he saw it; a yearning to ask a question without asking it. he knew you all too well.
"it's called nap of a star," he enlightened you with his soft voice. "i only have the melody and first few lyrics figured out though, it's a work in progress." he smiled, kissing the tip of your nose before looking out at tokyo's city lights.
you observed the city's glimmer in his dark eyes, large and filled with wonder. his eyes were filled with his sort of searching. like any little detail in the air could be used as inspiration for his song.
"will you sing it for me when it's done?" you asked without tearing your gaze from him once.
he glanced back down at you with smiling eyes "i promise," he answered without hesitation. deep down, he loved that question with his entire heart, no matter how nervous he'd get when the actual moment came. he loved that you wanted to hear his music. after all, it was the most vulnerable of his creations. only the most special person did he choose to share it with.
~
it wasn't until a crack of thunder and a bright flash of lightning not too far ahead that you both decided it was no longer safe to be outside. interesting how such a beautiful thing could quickly become something dangerous.
"i have something to show you," he pulled you towards the sliding door of the hotel room, hands interlaced tightly as your drenched clothes sloshed with every step. you giggled as excitement brimmed within you, following your boyfriend's wet footprints on the cement.
approaching the sliding glass door, beomgyu halted you in your steps; practically walking straight into what felt like a wall as he stood in front of the curtain with his arms crossed, denying you entry to the room.
"are you ready?" he questioned you. of course, your large smile gave your obvious answer away.
"close your eyes for me," he ordered, his voice chiming from behind you now as everything had faded to pitch black with the warmth of his hands cupped over your eyes. he blindly led you through the sliding glass door, finding your footing into the cold, hotel-scented air of the room.
he began counting down from three once you took a step into the room, slowly removing his hands when he reached one.
"tadaaaaa," his sweet voice chimed from behind you as you slowly fluttered your eyes open to reveal what had your hand over your mouth.
before you, a large heart decorated the king-sized bed with what you quickly made out to be rose petals, the room flickering with the light of candles all around the bedside table. a soft glow of fairy lights decorated the headboard, the faint sound of your playlist echoing in the background. it was absolutely perfect. the ambiance was like something out of a dream.
"choi beomgyu you did not!" you jumped into his arms, looking into his eyes with such elation and gratitude. so this is was what he was busy doing several hours ago before he catapulted me into the pool, you realized.
"this is amazing," your heart lept with love and adoration for him that you simply wanted to explode, hugging him as tight as humanly possible, earning a groan from him.
you looked around the room some more to discover flower petals scattered in a pathway leading to the bathroom. he had the entire night planned just for the two of you, romance just seeped in the air.
he grabbed your hand, inviting you further into the room. to this, you sensed just how soggy your clothes were pressed against you.
"wait gyu, my clothes are drenched," you halted, pulling the wet fabric over your head and tossing it onto the patio outside with a heavy thud. beomgyu just watched in awe, nearly forgetting his own name because of how beautiful you looked in your lacy bra and underwear.
everything about the way you pulled it off of yourself was so sexy to him, the sight of lace pressed against your bare skin left him mesmerized. he just stood there admiring you, shaggy hair fluffed over dazed eyes as his damp clothing clung to his increasingly warm skin. he just couldn't wait to take the rest of it off of you.
he snapped back into reality when your eyes locked, looking down at his own wet clothes sticking to his skin; large black shirt and shorts. he began to lift his shirt off when he felt a sudden lightness as you helped him pull it over his head.
you blindly chucked the soaked shirt outside next to your abandoned white dress with another hefty thud. his hair had been ruffled from the wet shirt, inviting a soft grin to your lips at how handsome he looked. you loved it when his hair was all messy like this, adorning him with a kind of sexiness you couldn't even begin to describe. you thought maybe he would be able to see the hearts floating in your eyes if he looked deep enough.
"what?" he questioned, tilting his head to one side curiously as he noticed the rosy tinge on your cheeks, a smile on his pretty lips. instead of telling him the truth about what you were fawning over, you continued gliding your fingers down his now bare torso, until you reached the waistband of his shorts.
his eyes followed your fingers, which gently ghosted over the imprint of the growing tent in his briefs, only for a second as you returned to glide them back up his chest, then to the soft skin of his face. he watched you in awe, attentive to every trace and trail left by your fingers.
using your thumb, you gently swiped it over the delicate skin of his bottom lip, pulling it down to barely reveal the glimmer of his teeth. standing on your tip toes, you inched your face ever so slowly, so close to his until your noses touched, so focused into the depths of his eyes.
"what about these?" you whispered against his lips, hooking a finger under his waistband and releasing it with a snap.
lips parted, he stared deeply into your gaze, searching from one eye into the other with a hungry glimmer, making your heart beat quicker than ever before. the look he gave you at this very moment; you could simply collapse with the intensity of it.
you wrapped your arms around his neck, pressing your hips tightly against his. you knew damn well what you were doing as a low grunt escaped his throat, sucking his bottom lip in between his teeth at the sensation. he couldn't handle one more passing second of this bone-crushing tension as he finally gave in, pressing his lips to yours so passionately hard.
"you're irresistible," he mumbled with a clenched jaw, crashing your lips back together like they were magnets. the kisses were deep and desperate, hungry for each other as you fumbled with the waistband of his shorts again, trying to undo the tedious knot of the strings as you both began stumbling into the room.
dropping his wet shorts to the floor, he kicked them out of the room as he slid the glass door closed with his foot, blindly walking backward. your hands on his chest as he cupped your face, messily kissing you.
as his heel reached the base of the bed, you lightly pushed him down so that he plopped down on the bed's edge. you stood in between his slightly spread legs, his lips level to your chest as he stared up at you with doe eyes; mouth parted as his bottom lip caught on the lace material of your bra, pulling you close.
this time a glint of lust crept into his large gaze; a certain glint you could read from a mile away. he needed you. all of you.
feather light, he skimmed his fingers down your now bare legs, the absence of your skirt intensifying the sensitivity of your skin.
small water droplets fell from the ends of your hair and dripped down onto his bare chest. you almost thought they would evaporate at the contact due to how hot his skin was growing against yours. he trailed his hands up your back, skimming the clasp of your bra, doing everything in his power not to just rip it right off of you.
cupping his jaw, you crashed your lips to his again and amidst a deep makeout, he undid the clasp of your bra, sensing its pressure release from your back until it hung lazily on your chest. he pulled back to observe it slide down your damp skin, gentle fingers helping the straps from your shoulders. he watched as your bare chest became revealed in front of his eyes.
a small, mischievous grin formed on his lips and you wondered what his next move could possibly be. he took your bra and put it on like a hat; cups atop his head, straps secured under his chin. he looked like the bear he was.
this reminded you of a nickname you used to call him: beomie bear. it used to even be his contact name for the longest time way back when you barely started dating. you smiled, recalling the ridiculously cute endearment that just fit him perfectly. you both laughed at his silliness.
"beomie bear" you giggled, pecking his lips as he gasped dramatically. he wore a huge grin on his face, pretty teeth shining brightly as his mouth fell open in surprise.
"you haven't called me that in years!" he kissed you back, chest filling with warmth at the special endearment of his name. hugging your waist, he pressed his cheek to your chest as you ruffled his damp hair, memories flooding back.
it took him back to the early months of your relationship; when you were still a bit shy with one another romantically, but also a pair of best friends who had dance parties in your dorm room at 2am while eating ramen and doing facemasks.
he remembered the exact moment you called him that name; it was when slid your fluffy bear headband over his (once) blonde hair to do his skincare one night in the bathroom of your dorm after movie night, kissing his face with how cute he looked. your voice rang through his memories; haha you look like a bear! my beomie bear. your smiling face replayed in his daydream, the elation of that moment returning to him.
that memory was a passing thought in your mind too, remembering how young and in love you had always been. if anything, your love had grown double, triple that. but he will always be your beomie bear, no matter how much you age together, the love you shared at 2am in that dorm room will always last.
pulling back, his eyes trailed down to admire your chest, teeth over his bottom lip as he smiled. the way the soft candlelight flickered on your damp skin; it was absolutely perfect in his eyes. dropping the makeshift bra hat, he moved his cool hands to palm each of your breasts. you sighed in response, a certain heat tickling your core as he placed a single kiss in between them.
he wanted to show you how much he loved you every day, and in these particular moments, he wanted to make you feel his love in every way possible.
his parted lips skimmed your chest, breath warming your skin before taking one of your buds into his mouth. he slowly swirled it with his tongue while gently squeezing the other, staring up at you with those eyes. the eyes you couldn't ever resist. the crash of thunder electrified your skin, rain drumming against the window like your heart against your chest.
your breathing grew heavier by the second, hands tangled into his hair as you hugged him close to your body, subtle whimpers escaping your mouth as you grew more and more desperate for him.
you angled his face up to yours with a finger on his chin, taking his full, bottom lip in between your teeth as you teased it. at this, he squeezed the plush of your hips, slowly tracing a path up the sensitive skin of your inner thigh.
slipping past the elastic, he slowly began exploring underneath your panties with two fingers. you shuddered as he reached your bundle of nerves, rubbing small circles onto it as you subtly moaned into his parted lips.
he hummed as he got to your core, tracing around your slippery arousal. "do you want me to start with one finger or two, my love?" he softly inquired, looking up at you through scrunched pieces of his bangs.
"i want all of you," you replied, wrapping your arms around his back to pull him even closer.
his gaze narrowed, a small smirk on his lips as he suddenly wrapped his arms below your hips. he picked you up swiftly; switching your positions and gently laid you down onto the bed. the sheets cooled your damp skin as he climbed on top of you, hooking his arms under your shoulders.
you could practically feel the fire inside him radiating through his skin, hot with passion and need. the fires inside of you just begged to be set aflame, joined together to create an even greater one. tonight your love was just that, the flames growing the more fuel was added to it; bodies pressed together tightly as you devoured one another's lips.
continuing his prior endeavor, he began trailing butterfly kisses down your neck, heat radiating from your body as he sucked several marks of his to decorate your pretty chest. his fingers against your skin felt as soft as the flower petals on the bed, inviting chills your body's surface with each trail he left.
"i forgot something," he slowly kissed you once more before getting up from the bed, his body heat escaping yours and quickly becoming replaced by the cold air conditioner. your eyes glued to him, you watched him excitedly run in his boxers over to the hotel door, unlocking it and slowly opening it.
"beomgyu what are you doing?" you sat up quickly in surprise, pulling the nearest pillow to cover your bare chest.
"i'm just placing the do-not-disturb sign on the door," he mischievously giggled, quickly shutting and locking the door once he was done. you threw the pillow at him as he tiptoed back to the bed, playfully rolling your eyes through a sigh of relief.
"you scared me, im half naked here!" you jokingly scolded him, followed by a choked laugh as he jumped back onto the bed, tackling you like his life depended on it. he drowned your neck in kisses again, laughing and squirming as he hugged you tightly, his hair tickling your skin.
mouths reuniting, you smiled against his soft lips, feeling his grin against yours. you couldn't help but feel both anxious and excited for the moments to come.
the mere thought of making love to your boyfriend always made you blush and kick your feet like it was the first. beomgyu just knew how to take care of you; emotionally, physically, mentally, sexually, all at once. he knew all the right spots, all the right things to say. he simply made your heart melt. in every way.
he always wanted to cherish your body and make sure you felt good; to him it was what you deserved and no less. and you two had grown a lot since you first began dating- not even able to take yourselves seriously at first due to insecurities and fear of judgment. but beomgyu always made you feel loved; he showed love to even your least favorite parts of yourself. he watered the seeds in your heart; helping you blossom and grow.
"you are heaven," his hot breath seeped into your ear, chills making themselves known on your skin. your stomach twisted as he kissed a trail down your neck, in between your breasts, and down to the most sensitive skin of your lower stomach; never once tearing his gaze from yours.
one thing about beomgyu was that he loved eye contact, especially during intimate moments. he loved the tension that built the longer you locked eyes, watching every little expression of yours, entranced by every shimmer in your eye.
he nipped at the lacy hem of your underwear, stopping before pulling them off; softly rubbing the wet patch of the fabric with his thumb.
"already so wet for me baby?" he cooed in the deepest of voices, looking up at you with his head innocently cocked to the side. you hummed in response, he knew what he was doing; god, how he turned you on. he teased you by skimming his lips over the dark spot before pulling them off as slowly as possible.
he watched like a starving man getting a full-course dinner feast revealed before him, observing the way strands of your wetness stretched as they clung to the fabric.
he looked up at you through dark strands of hair, wrapping his arms around your thighs to pull you even closer to him. he spread your legs open as he propped them onto each of his shoulders, getting a perfect view of your entirety. the chills on your skin intensified as you sensed his warm breath against your wetness, pulsating in need for his touch.
"you're my favorite snack," he sexily giggled against your thigh, pressing wet kisses all along the plush skin. he knew you loved it when he spoke in his satoori accent, especially during moments like these. he whispered dirty things into your skin, telling you every little thing he wanted to do to you. your breathing hitched, absolutely fawning over it all; his sensual voice had your heart doing flips, body aching for every bit of him.
he slowly lowered his mouth to your most sensitive area, your breath instantly shuddered at how amazing he felt. his chocolate hair tickled your inner thighs, adding to the pleasure. he loved the way his name left your lips with every flick of his tongue, eating you out deliciously; licking and sucking all the right places. it simply couldn't get any better.
you slightly propped yourself up on your elbows to get a better look, only to find his eyes already on yours, glued to yours in pure seduction. you took in the beautiful sight that was his pretty face in between your legs, tongue flicking at what felt like a hundred miles an hour; your body beginning to twitch at how amazing it felt.
you quietly chuckled to yourself, realizing just how fast he could move his tongue. "hmm?" he hummed against your skin at the sound of your giggle, looking up at you quizzically; his lips glossy from your wetness. he wiped them clean, breathing heavily as sweat beads began to form on his skin.
"you know sometimes i think your mouth really is made of a motor," you giggled, looking down at him. he thew his head back, a deep laugh exiting.
"yeah? like this?" he lowered his mouth back down, lightly circling over your clit with his tongue before speeding up the pace again, leaving you speechless. your smile faded as he ate you out so lewdly, staring at you so intensely; nothing seemed funny anymore.
his boxers tented due to how painfully hard he was at the sight of you; your scent, your taste, the sounds you made, the way your pretty eyes gazed upon him. everything about you had him intoxicated with lust, drunk in love.
he licked two of his fingers, slowly sinking them into you while curling upwards just the way you needed it. this combination electrified your body with every stroke of his fingers and swirl of his tongue until your lower stomach began to tighten in pleasure, only intensifying with his pace.
"right there gyu, don't stop," you mumbled as coherently as you could, throwing your head back aggressively, overcome with pleasure. eyes sewn shut, the ticklish knot in your stomach tightened as he perfectly rubbed the spot inside you, flicking his tongue just right every single time. you began to grind against his fingers, arching your back as you climbed up the mountain of pleasure, sensing your climax approach at any time now.
he kept his pace when he felt you tighten around his fingers, watching in awe as your once tensed muscles released, your body spasming as pleasure rolled through you in waves. your chest rose and fell intensely as you caught your breath, legs collapsing to one side as you lay in complete stillness, only your forearms keeping you up as your head was completely thrown behind you.
he attended to you, quickly getting up to help lay you back onto the bed, supporting the back of your head as he gingerly lowered it to the cold sheets.
he lay propped onto his elbow as you recovered from your climax, nuzzling into him as you felt his weight next to you. he watched your face, observing the way your eyes were gently fluttered closed, a small smile on your lips; completely overtaken by the warm fuzz of pleasure. he was simply glad; that's all he wanted, was to make you feel good. he smiled.
floating in the clouds, weightless; your body like jello with how relaxed you felt. you lay there, lost in thought about what had just happened as your breathing slowly returned to normal. you thought about how good he is; just how amazing he is.
you thought about his face; full lips when they kiss you or draw up into a pretty smile. his dark eyes when candlelight flickers in them, like speckled marbles. the sound of his deep voice against your skin. you wanted him. you needed him. so bad.
heat pulsated between your legs at the thought of him inside you and his member was no secret as it nudged your thigh, wet spots on the plaid material of his boxers. without speaking, your bodies said it all.
you looked over at him as he was in the middle of gently tracing your collarbones with his fingertips. your heart ached for him; he was just so patient with you. in this moment, all you wanted was to satistfy him just as much as he did you, make him feel just as good.
without a word you gently grabbed his face and crashed your lips to his again, hungry; this time with all the more passion. he melted right in, the need for you prevalent in his mannerisms. he crawled over you, situating himself on top; a knee in between your crotch as you ground against it for some relief.
you helped his boxers off of him, throwing them far across the room like you did with every last article of clothing. with nothing between you now, his skin melted against yours like warm sand, running his fingers up your sides and into your hair as you lay beneath him. 
his scent wafted into your nose with every of his movements, like warm cinnamon tea on a foggy morning; melting your brain with every inhale. you felt so warm and safe here, like you were in heaven. absolutely no worries or outside thoughts in mind, just beomgyu and this moment. this perfect moment.
he kissed and kissed you before gently grabbing both of your wrists, pinning them to either side of your head. the feeling of your arms exposed to the chilly air and out of your control had your stomach twisting and turning with desire, your skin burning for him.
"is this okay?" he softly asked against your lips, eyes starry and wide, filled with trillions of galaxies. it was almost funny how innocent he looked, yet how mischievous he was on the daily and how dirty he could be in bed. you loved it.
"more than okay," you whispered back, a certain intensity in your eyes left him mesmerized for a few moments, just wanting to stare for eternity. he smirked, burying his face into your neck so that his hair tickled your skin before kissing his way down to one of your breasts.
it was like he was tickling you and pleasuring you at the same time; you didn't know whether to moan or to laugh. a mixture of both came out, arching your back under his feathery touch. the deep bass of a song from your playlist seeped from his speaker; making the air thicker, hotter. he always made music sound better. he always made everything better.
wrapping your legs around his lower back to pull him closer, you began grinding yourself against the hardness that lay flush against his stomach. he teased you, beginning to thrust himself up against your wet folds, breathy moans escaping both of your mouths at how much you needed one another.
"beom- please," you whimpered against his lips, desperation prevalent in your eyes. he decided he had teased you enough, that he couldn't go any longer without being one with you.
nudging your legs further apart with his knees, he aligned himself with your entrance as he slowly entered you with his tip, nearly driving you crazy. he leaned down to kiss you, deepening the kiss as he deepened himself at an excruciatingly slow pace, eventually bottoming out inside of you with a subtle twitch.
"my god beomgyu," you sucked air through your teeth at his size, which you never quite got used to no matter how many times you had made love. the way he perfectly stretched you out simply left you speechless, needing every bit of him.
he always went slow so as not to hurt you, able to gauge when you were comfortable enough to go a little faster. his grip on your wrists slightly tightened as you fluttered around him, making it extra hard for him to control his pace. his breathing shuddered and he moaned into your lips, burying his head into your neck as he cursed at the sheer pleasure.
"fuck- you feel amazing" he groaned against your neck, slowly grinding his hips against yours, feeling every crevice inside you throb and flutter around him. you were the best feeling in the world.
both of your soft moans mixed with the patter of rain on the large glass windows of the hotel. only soft candlelight, fairy lights, and the city glow illuminated the room; casting your moving shadows onto the wall, along with the moonlight that peaked in through the curtains.
his dainty silver necklace tickled your neck as it dangled onto you, fingers intertwined tightly with his and still pinned over your head as you passionately made out. he thrust into you so sweetly, so perfectly you felt you could cry.
"you feel amazing too, gyu," was all you could say before your voice hitched and your eyes began to well. you don't know why you got so emotional all of a sudden; something about experiencing the utmost form of connection with the person you loved most had warm tears of happiness streaming down your cheeks.
his eyes were quick to fill with worry, searching quickly from eye to eye as he completely stopped thrusting into you.
"angel are you okay? what's wrong? did i do something?" his voice came out small and filled with worry, his fingers released yours and came up to wipe away the wetness on your face.
"yes gyu i'm okay," you laughed as the tears rolled out. "i just- i love you," you sniffled with a smile. he sighed of relief that you were okay, letting his forehead fall to yours. he softly chuckled after a moment, kissing the tip of your nose.
"i love you. more than you know," he whispered to you, staring into the depths of your eyes; to which you noticed were more shimmery than usual in the candlelight. he was tearing up too. your heart ached to see him cry, but crying during sex wasn't a complete rarity for the two of you. you felt better knowing they were happy tears rather than sad ones.
"is it okay if i continue?," he asked, his glossy eyes glittering in the candlelight as his lips curved into a small smile, a droplet hanging from the tip of his nose.
"please," you pleaded, wiping your face with the inner part of your arm. he began slowly moving in and out of you again, never once taking your eyes off of his. some of his tears dripped onto your face, making the both of you laugh. "oops," he smiled as he wiped them off with his thumb.
he got a frivolous idea: using his tongue to wipe your tears. you scoffed at him, scrunching your face at the feeling of his warm tongue tickling your cheek.
"mmm salty," he giggled, rays coming from that toothy grin of his that you so loved. you felt lost in the abyss of his eyes, just the two of you floating away in the space held in your hearts. a space that held only him and a space that held only you.
you noticed his smile slightly fade as his eyes searched yours, fingers finding their way to your hair.
"i remember the very first time i saw you. you're the most beautiful person i've ever seen. inside and out. and you always will be." another of his tears dripped onto your nose and slid down the crevices of your skin. he just stared at you, alternating from eye to eye, like he hadn't ever seen anything quite as fascinating as you.
"beomgyu you're gonna make me ugly cry," you chortled, eyes blurring and then spilling over. you reached up and gave him the tightest hug you could, feeling him bottom out inside of you and stay there, hugging you back even tighter.
these were the moments you realized you needed absolutely nothing else in life. just him. just him and you were the happiest girl on the entire planet. he's the center of your universe; there's nothing better on this planet than the love you share.
"i'm so glad i met you," your voice came out muffled in his warm shoulder, which you used to wipe off your wet nose. his back heaved as he exhaled, relaxing into the hug; pressing kisses to your jaw, then to your lips. both of your eyes and noses red and stuffy now, and you smiled in pure happiness as your teeth began to clash with one another's. "me too."
his tongue made its way to yours, kissing you so sweetly with little nibbles to your lip in between. he began to pick up his pace, deliciously grinding his hips against yours as he softly groaned against your lips.
the intensity of pleasure was a lot more amplified now; you don't know if it was because you had grown even more emotionally connected or if you were getting close to finishing again. but oh my, did he feel amazing.
you couldn't seem to quiet your whimpers as he thrust into you so deeply and steadily, wet sounds coming from in between your bodies. his hair clung to his forehead due to the condensation when you went to grab a handful of it, sweat dripping down his face and onto his neck. he hooked one of your legs with his arm, deepening his strokes inside of you.
"so fucking good," he panted against your lips as he pounded into you at a faster pace now, the bed beginning to creak with each of his thrusts. each time your name spewed from his lips, you felt your heart do a flip, absolutely weak at the way it rolled off of his tongue perfectly.
knowing that you made him feel so good only intensified your pleasure, feeling him throb and twitch inside you nearly had you at the edge again.
no matter how many different positions the two of you have tried over time, nothing could beat this one; your leg supported by his arm and bent over his shoulder as he rolled his hips against yours, hitting your g-spot just right with every thrust.
not only did it feel amazing, it granted you the ability to see every glimmer in his eyes and kiss him, feel the warmth of his breath on your skin, his weight pressed to you. you connected best, not only physically but emotionally.
you watched his face as he watched yours; his eyebrows knitted in pleasure, mouth agape and lips plump and red with how much you had kissed them. sweat beads dripped down his face and neck.
you simply couldn't put together the words that described beomgyu. you realized that the word beautiful was made to describe someone far simpler than him.
tasting the beads of salt pouring down his skin, you caught some that ran down to his lips as you sweetly kissed. his moans and grunts grew louder and more frequent, a telltale sign that we was right there, right at the edge. he dropped his forehead to yours, cold sweat sliding onto your skin from his, staring practically into your soul.
with one final deep thrust, he tightly shut his eyes and went completely over the edge, releasing his warmth inside of you. the sound of your name coherent through breathy moans and whimpers, sending chills up your spine.
although you hadn't yet finished, he sensed you were extremely close as he felt you tighten and flutter around him, slightly overstimulating himself with a few more thrusts to help push you over the edge as well.
your hips bucked and rolled against his as you came, his name escaping your lips lewdly as waves of pleasure carried you to cloud 9 once again, arching your back at the sheer pleasure.
he collapsed on top of you, both a huffing, sweaty mess; still twitching inside of you. euphoria coursed through your veins at the feeling of his body weight on you; both floating amongst the clouds, basking in the afterglow of pleasure as you recovered from your climaxes.
he buried his hands under your back, squeezing you into a tight hug. you stayed like this, feeling his heart strum through his chest and onto yours, sensing it slow with his breathing as he calmed down.
after a moment he brought his lips to yours in a soft kiss, tasting the saltiness of dried sweat and tears on his lips, not caring that you were both a total mess, hair completely plastered to wet foreheads. he gazed at you through smiling eyes, quietly giggling in joy, dawning over the amazing loved you shared. he propped his head in his elbow to gaze at you.
you just lay there for who knows how long, simply admiring one another, faces illuminated by candles reflecting from white bedsheets. lost in the flicker of the flame in his eyes, the warmth of his skin sept into yours as you traced the outline of his back. having memorized the map of each freckle and scar; taking in the utter beauty that was his existence.
you wondered how you lived before knowing him. because with him, colors shine brighter, music sounds better, life is happier. it is a life worth living a thousand times.
~
fog seeped from under the door of the rose-scattered, candlelit bathroom. scribbles of initials and small doodles of hearts and stars decorated the fog-stained glass doors of the shower.
it was an all glass, walk-in with water that fell like rain from a large square on the ceiling; by far the most luxurious shower you had ever used. man, had your boyfriend scored a great hotel for you both.
the two of you stood amidst the warm water, his back pressed to your chest as you shampooed his hair, taking note of how long it was getting as the silky strands fell through your fingers with the weight of soapy water.
he turned around to face you, a beard of bubbles on his chin. "what do you think?" earned a laugh from you, your giggles echoing throughout the spacious bathroom as you both goofed around like usual.
showering with beomgyu was as normal as breathing; you can't even remember the last time you showered alone.
your shower routine was different every time as it usually followed the flow of your emotions: sometimes it was more quiet, just observing one another through the clouds of steam, lost in gentle conversation about whatever it may be.
sometimes the room echoed with delirious noises as you doubled over with how hard you laughed, having to use the wall to keep you standing.
and sometimes your lips wouldn't come apart so much as to catch your breath as he lifted you up against the wall, your legs wrapped around his hips as your bodies did the talking.
but tonight, you were brimming with happiness as your playlist echoed from his speaker, mouthing the lyrics to him like you were the lead singer. he sang along with you, taking your hands in his and swinging them back and forth with the beat.
he watched you, completely enamored by the way your smiling face was illuminated by dim lighting, cheeks flushed with steam, the way your laugh echoed through the room. showering with you had always been one of his favorite parts of the day, it felt like your own little world where no other thoughts or people could enter. just you.
like always, you took turns washing one another. he rubbed soap onto your body with his hands, the feeling of your wet, bare skin entrancing him; using the excuse that he needed more soap as he poured a large amount into his hands, gliding them up and down your torso. you did the same, massaging his shoulders with the slick help of body wash, both addicted to the sensation of his skin and trying to loosen the ginormous knots he somehow carried in his muscles.
the clean scents of different soaps intermingled in the air to create one of your favorite scents in the world; the scent of washing off yet another day's adventure with your favorite person, freshening up just to start the day with him tomorrow to do it all over again.
you found yourself staring at him in absolute awe as he angled his head back under the shower head, time moving in what felt like slow motion as water drizzled down his bare skin; you could simply stare at him forever. he rubbed the water from his eyes, forehead exposed as his hair had been slicked back by the heavy stream. he stepped towards you, running fingers through it as some pieces fell messily on his forehead. it almost felt surreal that he was yours.
"i have some facemasks for us," he reached to turn the water off once you were all done rinsing off, grabbing you a towel from outside the glass door. your eyes lit up in excitement at the sound of these six words, the largest smile growing on your face. he wrapped the fresh linen around you like a burrito, giving you a big hug. the warmth he exuded transcended anything you had ever felt; like an eternal ray of sunshine right by your side. always.
~
after drying off, it was like the two of you were nineteen all over again. sitting on the bathroom counter wearing his oversized shirt and boxers, a laughing mess as he stood in front of you applying a face mask to your skin. his eyes met yours every few seconds, constantly drawn like two magnets; you could hardly keep a straight face with how close he leaned into you.
you closed your eyes in relaxation at the sensation of the mask's cooling texture, quickly interrupted as he tickled your nose with his pinky. you both doubled over in hushed laughter, trying your hardest to keep it quiet so not to disturb the neighbors as it was approaching 2 am. of course, your rowdy boyfriend wouldn't help with that.
your mind drifted to the last time you sat at this hotel's bathroom sink. it was when beomgyu had you bent over it a few nights ago before showering together; the room steamy as he gave it to you from behind, watching his face contort with pleasure in the reflection of the mirror, lip between his teeth.
the memory vividly came back to you, still fresh in your mind: he leaned in close so that his warm chest was pressed to your back. "you like watching me fuck you, huh pretty?" he breathed into your ear, eyes glued to yours through the foggy bathroom mirror. you simply melted at his dirty talk; he was just too good. all you could do was nod in response, whimpers for more filling the room with an echo. he looked at you a little longer in the mirror with before subtly smiling, pressing kisses down your back, slowing his thrusts into a more gentle, steady pace.
he had noticed you drift off into your daydream, waving a hand in front of your face to awaken you from the steamy memory. heat found its way to your face, looking at him with hazy eyes.
"i was just remembering the last time we...you know," you nudged him, a shy smile on your lips. which come to think of it, the two of you had made love almost every night since you had been on your trip.
you would come back to the hotel after a fun day and already be glued to one another as you entered the room; stumbling to the bed, his fingers intertwined in your hair and yours on his belt buckle. you simply couldn't get enough of each other.
"look at these photos i found from freshman year" drew you from your thoughts completely, paying mind to his phone screen as he scrolled far into his camera roll album of you, stopping on one that had you smiling from ear to ear.
it was a mirror picture the two of you had taken one of the nights you stayed up late, doing face masks in your dorm room; the night you gave him his adorable nickname. he made a silly face at you as you were in the middle of laughter, your arms around his waist.
you cooed at how adorable he looked with his blonde head of hair and soft, round facial features; you just wanted to pinch his cheek. he took note of how much you have changed since then too, and how you would always wear his green checkered, bear patterned cardigan like it was your own. you were still the same, beautiful person in his eyes; only now you had an obsession with his black and white plaid cardigan instead.
"let's recreate it," you looked up at him, who nodded excitedly in agreement. although it seemed like a small little memory, it still held both of your hearts like it was yesterday; a very special relationship was born from those delirious nights and you couldn't be more grateful for them.
he helped you off the counter as you got into the same position you stood in three years ago, hugging his waist he slung an arm around you, pulling you just as close as he wanted to that night; his nerves no longer in the way like how they once were.
you stared at one another in the mirror, cheeks burning with how much you smiled. just as he clicked the shutter, he made the same silly face, naturally coaxing a laugh from you, just like that night.
~
the rest of tonight was filled with memories that cradled your heart like a warm blanket; ones that made you fall so deeply in love, you could feel the warm glow of your heart radiating from deep within your chest.
and just like always in the dead of night, the two of you were in the most spontaneous, absolutely delirious mood. having a hotel room together only fueled this. you felt like you were in your own little movie; like you ran away to a new city and got new identities, finally free to do whatever you wanted without a care in the world.
a 3am vending machine run downstairs for ice cream and pocky left you out of breath, tip-toe racing one another down the hall; where trying your best to keep quiet was only part of the fun.
beomgyu brought his baby blue polaroid along with him, wanting to capture every memory he could. he took all kinds of candid photos of you; a few by the colorful vending machines, scratching your head as you struggled to pick an option. a hilarious one of your hoodie stuffed to the brim with all kinds of snacks that some might fall out; to which he took some blurry ones of you sprinting down the hall to pick up the ones that did fall out.
there were some selfies of the both of you once you had returned to the hotel room, capturing a stick of pocky in between the two of you as you raced to be the first to meet the other's lips. the polaroid camera was put down when he won, the taste of strawberry on his lips as he softly bit down on your bottom lip.
he took almost fifteen polaroids, you counted, as they lay spread out on the bedside table as some were still in the process of developing. you were excited to see how they would turn out, and add them to your polaroid album together.
he suddenly tackled you from behind, pulling you onto him and inviting you to a wrestling match on the bed, entangling your bodies in every way imaginable just to pin the other person down.
at 4am you lay silently under the rose-covered sheets and flickering fairy lights, entranced with the storm; pouring rain pelting against the large glass window. the way it was pushed and pulled violently by the wind outside made you feel even more cozy, laying on beomgyu's chest as he fiddled with your earring.
when the rest of the world sleeps, you both lie awake between the sheets and beneath the stars and that's how you spent every night together. your leg slung around his tummy as you both observed the blurry city, the subtle blue glow illuminating your faces.
you had always been infatuated with the red glow of the tokyo tower against the silver skyline, and now getting to see it in person made you want to lose sleep just to watch it glow. you took note as to how many small blinking lights flashed randomly on each building, matching with the lights of small cars in the distance.
after such a long day, you couldn't help but grow blanketed with sleep every passing second, fighting the urge of your eyes practically begging to close, just to watch the skyline a bit more, just to stay in this moment with him for as long as you could. that was when suddenly, you felt beomgyu's chest vibrate as he hummed a tune.
"you're the sun to the moon" he softly began to sing, immediately forgetting your sleepiness. every time he sang, it was like a gift to you
"you're my ocean painted blue," you faintly smiled, recognizing the song by lany as it was one of your favorites.
"you, i'm nothing without you." he concluded with a kiss to your head, followed by a large yawn. turning to look up at him, his eyes were gently shut, long eyelashes resting atop his cheekbones, just how he usually looked when he had fallen asleep.
with that voice he could be a famous singer. with that face, he could be a model. with that heart of gold, he could be a thousand more things. but it's not what he could be, it's what he is. in your eyes and in your heart, he is that famous singer. he is that model, he is yours.
you left a gentle kiss on his adams apple, finding your comfy spot on his chest again before replaying his honey voice in your mind again, drifting off into a gentle slumber. you hoped you would dream of him, like you did every night.
. . .
the scent of morning coffee reminded you of sophomore year of college, when you became the well-known couple at your university's coffee shop; as it wasn't a rare occasion that you pushed yourselves out of bed, groggily shuffling over to grab some coffee together before class.
you would ruffle his once blonde hair in line as you waited, heavy head on your shoulder as he yawned, the scent of coffee filling your nose. he would sip his iced americano sleepy eyed and you, a cup of sweet iced goodness as you walked to class, fingers interlaced.
you had only slept two hours, apparently, as the sun was now rising right before your eyes outside the large glass pane windows. you thought maybe you were just dreaming because of how unreal the sight was before you; a large, red orb peeking its bright eye over the city of tokyo.
"angel? oh good you're up," beomgyu pranced over to you with a cup of iced coffee, just the way you liked it. you barely pushed yourself up, head still extremely heavy with sleep. you would probably be annoyed if anyone else had woken you up this early, but because it was your boyfriend, you gladly fought the urge to fall back asleep.
"i thought we'd watch the sunrise," he plopped down on the bed, sitting criss-cross next to you with his own coffee in hand.
you happily nodded with half-closed eyes, not yet able to get out a coherent sentence as you were still practically asleep. you slowly sipped the cold goodness of your cup, feeling a bit more awake by the minute.
the sound of "train station in 10?" awoke you immediately, more than coffee ever could in that time span. he looked over at you expectantly, your eyes wide as you sat a disheveled mess in bed, wondering how the hell you would look decent in 10 minutes.
"make it 20, i know just the perfect place to take you," he kissed your cheek, jumping up from bed and running into the bathroom where he began playing music and getting ready for your next adventure.
the memory of getting dressed was just a blur of baggy jeans and white converse as you now stood on a moving train, head resting lazily on your boyfriend's all too familiar shoulder. eyes constantly glued to the hazy blend of warm colors ahead as the sun rose little by little. all you could do was wonder where this train was taking you, since beomgyu wouldn't tell you. not even one hint.
your only clue was that this time, the train traveled towards the city instead of away from it, reminding you of the last time when you went to the suburbs for the cherry blossom picnic.
"did you match with me on purpose?" his voice brought you from your thoughts as you looked him up and down curiously, snorting when you realized your outfits were pretty much identical to a tee.
he wore a loose, white button-up; rolled at the elbows and lazily stuffed into some light-wash baggy jeans, and a pair of white converse. this morning had been such a blur that you didn't even notice what you had thrown together, or what he had either, for that matter.
"now i am convinced we actually share brain cells," you collapsed your head back onto his shoulder as both laughed. but he thought it was the cutest thing ever; that he would be walking around with his mini-me all day through the streets of tokyo. he always felt proud to walk with you, no matter what.
~
breathtaken, you stood at what felt like the top of the world as you witnessed the entire city from this altitude, mount fuji clearly visible through some clouds miles away. the sun made it's glowing appearance between slivers of buildings, which from this high up, merely resembled scattered grey blocks beneath you.
beomgyu had brought you to tokyo skytree; the tallest building in japan, and the place at the top of your bucket list since you could remember. you pressed your forehead against the glass, admiring the way the city was still blanketed in subtle mist from last night's storm, orange rays of muted sunlight peaking through clouds that rested their fluffy heads on buildings.
it seemed most of the city was still asleep, as the only small crowds of people were those headed off to work. the hour of dawn wasn't one you were usually awake to see considering you were certainly a night owl. but right now, it felt otherworldly; somber, filled with pure peace and quiet as the sun bled into the sky. like time was frozen.
beomgyu stood next to you, hands pressed to the glass on either side of his face, looking down at his feet, past the glass underneath them; lost as he stood at what felt was the edge of the world. you walked your fingers along the glass and over to his, gently resting your hand on top of his.
no matter how beautiful the view was in front of you, your eyes always found their way back to each other's; cheeks squished to the glass as you admired one another. the most beautiful sight wasn't the sunrise or the buildings or the city you were in; it was him and you. together.
there was more in store for you than you thought, as you now perused the skytree aquarium hand in hand, fully awake now as colorful fish swam all around you.
the large fish tanks stretched from floor to ceiling, carrying some of the most exotic sea life you had ever witnessed; some cute and some scary, some big and some small. a tiny fish called your attention as it reminded you of him, the way its large eyes gazed at you innocently. he laughed, comparing you to the clownfish in the next tank.
the brightest turquoise glow lit the entire place, almost convincing you that you would never see another color again but blue. but of course, he looked just as handsome blanketed under the turquoise light that you would easily get used to it; eyes glimmering with the magic of curiosity and wonder, swiveling his head all around in awe at the fish that swam everywhere imaginable.
you parted ways between a large tank at the center, finding each other again through the opposite sides of the glass. he placed his hand on the tank, inviting yours to mirror his. although you were thousands of miles from home in a foreign city where you knew absolutely no one. the glowing face on the other side of the glass, that was all you needed to feel right at home.
he motioned you over to a tank that caught his eye, reuniting with the interlacing of your fingers. "actually you remind me of a jellyfish," he pointed at the glowing creatures that floated in the water, gliding gently with one another. you pondered the idea, maybe he had good reason.
"they're graceful and elegant, just look at this one," he pointed at one that was a slightly different shade of violet than the others, a look of determination on his face as he described all of its attributes and how they reminded him of you.
"i think jellyfish are the most beautiful, that's why it reminds me of you." you looked up at him with a warm smile, his eyes still fixated on the glowing tank, then down to meet yours with an affirming nod.
"and also the clownfish because you're a clow- ouch!" you playfully slapped his arm as he rubbed it exaggeratedly, letting out a goofy laugh at his own joke. you rolled your eyes, not able to stay serious "if anyone resembles a clownfish here it's you!" you scoffed at him jokingly, laughing at his side eye.
he reclined on one of the tanks with his shoulder, observing the tank of clownfish and jellyfish. "i think if you were a jellyfish and i was a clownfish in this aquarium, i would swim up to the jellyfish tank every day just to watch the slightly violet one. i think in any universe, i would fall in love with you," he rested his head on the glass, looking down at you fondly.
you squeezed his hand gently in yours, loving every part of his imagination. he often liked to make up little (usually cheesy) stories about you and him in other universes and you loved every single one; today was the story of the clownfish and the jellyfish. what he didn't know was that you wrote them down in a secret journal, to hopefully retell them to him one day. the mere thought warmed your heart.
just as you were standing on your tip toes to press a kiss to his cheek, you noticed a familiar group of teenagers over his shoulder. it was someone familiar that caught your eye: a tall, serious looking black-haired boy with a middle part. he stood with two other girls and two other guys. it's them.
"oh my god beomgyu don't turn around," you stood in shock at the sight of the group, gaining memory of the poor boy's horrified face when you gave them the shrimp and ran away that one night at 3 am in shibuya.
"i think it's the same group we gave the shrimp to," you whispered into his ear with a cupped hand, his eyes widening in disbelief.
"the riki guy we jump-scared and then ran away?" beomgyu looked at you in half disbelief, cupping his mouth in hushed laughter. "yes him!" you whisper yelled in all seriousness, tugging at his arm in fear they would see you at any moment.
he carefully walked ahead of you, holding your hand tightly as he brought you behind one of the tall flounder tanks. putting his hands on your shoulders, he looked seriously into your eyes to devise a plan. "okay, we're going to make a run for it." to which you furrowed your eyebrows in concern.
"what?! beomgyu we can't just keep running away from them. they don't even know we're here." no response. pressing his back to the tank, he peaked his head around the glass like he was detective sherlock holmes on a top secret mission. once the coast was clear, he eyed you. "three...two," he began to count down and you readied yourself for the inevitable.
"wait!" he halted you with an arm, his whisper yell almost a little too loud. just before he could reach one, you both saw the shadow of the group's silhouettes project through the blue light of the tank. your first instinct was to duck, so you pulled him down with you.
the group now stood right around the corner from you, your heart racing at the thought of an awkward encounter. who knows how the riki guy would react at the sight of you two after what you did to him.
"let's just stealth it out," you whispered to him, checking behind the other side of the tank to find the coast was clear. "now!" you pulled beomgyu's arm but he wouldn't budge.
"how?" he asked. to which you began replying "we just tip toe quietly and not make a big dea-" but he cut you off.
"how you look so cute even when you're all serious?" he looked at you expectantly and you couldn't help but grin. even in the midst of the most serious of situations, he still made you loosen up and laugh, reminding you that nothing bad would happen when you were by his side.
you took a deep breath, realizing the situation wasn't as serious as you pictured it. so you stood up, bringing him up with you, and turned the corner; simply walking away like a normal couple, unseen by the group. you sighed in relief.
"hey!" a familiar voice of the boy called from behind you, your breath instantly catching in your throat. it could not be...
"oh. shit." you and beomgyu both looked at one another wide-eyed, both thinking the exact same thing RUN!
you completely booked it, running like your lives were on the line, butterflies fluttering through your stomach at the sheer thrill. he squeezed your hand so tight that it made your fingers white, and couldn't help but feel laughter bubble up in your chest at the whole situation.
"wait! the shrimp was good!" was all the raven-haired boy could say before the two of you disappeared around the corner, gone with a cloud of dust behind your heels.
but you didn't hear him with how focused you two were on getting out of there. people wondered what the hell was going on, probably just two unruly kids making a scene. and why are they wearing the exact same outfit? the whole thing was a comical disaster; definitely a memory you would look back and laugh at in the future.
a huffing mess, you finally stood outside the building, hands on your knees as you took a breather, "i can't believe we did that again," he laced his hand with yours as you continued walking further from the aquarium, just in case.
you shook your head, heart still pounding as you laughed it off. the damp wind felt refreshing as it blew on your face, taking it in as it tousled your hair in different directions.
"you know, you never answered my question," he looked over at you with a furrowed brow. "how?"
you remembered his prior question, not exactly knowing how to answer. you shook your head and looked down at your shoes with a soft smile.
he slung his arm around your neck and pulled you close as you walked down a docile street, your head falling to his shoulder.
"i know how. because you're the most perfect girl in the world," he kissed the side of you head as your hearts carried you wherever they desired to next.
. . .
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cherry blossoms; the flower that symbolizes life and new beginnings, the beautiful, fleeting nature of existence. its pink haze decorated the ground on which you stood, locking eyes with the familiar, beautiful doe gaze you so loved.
his mouth fell open, absolutely speechless; feeling his heart strum against his chest at the sight of you walk along the path of flowers. you were so unbelievably beautiful to him, the way the setting sun bathed you in a golden glow as you walked; like an angel descended from heaven in his eyes. the air had escaped his lungs at the sight of you in your flowy dress, white as snow.
you felt your heart drum against your chest as you continued your gait to the arbour where he awaited; cherry blossom branches curved into a heart archway behind him. vigilant eyes observed as you carefully walked, but the only pair that ever mattered were his.
the pink and white flower glimmered from the dainty ring you watched the love of your life slide onto your left ring finger. a large grin decorating your lips as you faced one another, hand in hand. he stood there; jaw-droppingly handsome in an all-black suit, hair hugging the nape of his neck, grown out the longest it'd ever been.
the sun and the moon were both visible in the cloud-feathered sky, calling your attention just for a moment. the most beautiful day you had ever lived to see; everything about it radiated absolute heaven.
you may now kiss the bride were the six words that made you tear up more than you thought they would, your glittering eyes becoming visible under your veil as he lifted it up, revealing utmost beauty on both ends.
he held your jaw with gentle fingers, searching your eyes with his; tender-eyed, beautifully vulnerable. a gaze you thought was a portal to outer space, catching a glimpse of your future in an eternity of stars and galaxies. the countless kisses and embraces you would share for a life time.
a single blossom fluttered from the lush, swaying trees above and landed soft as a butterfly on his nose, drawing a sweet smile to your lips. a warm memory bloomed in your chest, remembering the soft petals between your finger as you picked it off of his nose several years ago at this exact spot.
you neared your faces in what felt like slow motion, slowly locking lips with the familiar plush comfort of home. he kissed you strong and deep, able to feel the bright energy radiating from him as he deepened his lips on yours. at the moment you closed your eyes, you heard the claps and cheers of the crowd.
an overwhelming rush of happiness welled in your eyes, heart pounding with the sparkle of elation, you just wanted to jump for joy. if you weren't in a public setting, you would probably break down crying because of how happy you were.
the two of you walked down the isle hand in hand, wearing the brightest smiles one could wear as cheers and kind eyes from familiar faces greeted you. four of beomgyu's college friends waved at you from their seats, snapping tons of pictures as if you were two celebrities walking the red carpet.
you caught the gaze of beomgyu's mom, her kind eyes as she happily nodded towards you, mouthing the words beautiful; to which you were beyond flattered and returned a rosy smile.
it was a small, outdoor venue, only joined by close friends and immediate family as the two of you decided to return to japan for your wedding. yoyogi park; the very same place you had your cherry blossom picnic several years ago when you vacationed here.
no matter how many years had passed since then, tokyo had always called your hearts back. the happiness and love you shared here was something so special, memories like no other place you had visited. it only felt right to return and live it once more. or perhaps, forevermore.
"never thought miss straight a's would end up marrying the class clown," one of beomgyu's college friends yeonjun came over once food and drinks were served at the reception, flashing you a warm smile before jokingly punching beomgyu on the shoulder.
"congratulations man," they shared a laugh and hugged, their conversation muted about the music as you observed beomgyu's gestures; he was beyond elated, eyes animated and sparkling as he spoke, face bright and shining with laughter with his head thrown back. your heart jolted; everything about his smile, his laugh, his everything. you couldn't help but fall in love all over again; watching him from a distance like he was a man you could only dream of being with, let alone marrying.
it really felt surreal; that you were able call your boyfriend your fiancé, and now your husband. it would take some getting used to, of course, since you couldn't help but get red in the face every time you even thought of him as your husband.
"congratulations mrs. choi," the black-haired man bowed to you after he had finished talking to beomgyu, and you returned the bow with a grateful smile, being sure to thank him for coming.
mrs. choi
you felt you could power a city with the pure jubilation that radiated in your heart at the sound of those words. this is going to take some getting used to.
~
fairy lights sparkled in the soft wind, a thin gust fluttering the polaroids pinned with tiny clothespins to the string lights that hung above the quaint, wooden dance floor.
it was your idea to hang some of your polaroids up at your wedding; strung from fairy lights on cherry trees around the venue. out of the hundreds you'd taken over the years, you selected your mutually favorite ones. he looked up at them, giggling every five seconds as a new one caught his eye. he loved it.
"look at that one!" he pointed up at the polaroids as he held you in your arms while slowly swaying to the music of the live band, others dancing around you.
he pointed to the polaroid you took of him standing in his plaid pajamas pants in line at your university's coffee shop, which was hung next to one of him standing at the vending machine at your old hotel, wearing the same pants. and next to that one a selfie of the two of you, the tokyo tower glowing red and white in the background. you could look at old pictures with him forever, just dawning over all the great memories.
"you're so thoughtful. i love this," he lowered his forehead to yours, his eyes wrinkling into a warm smile. "i love you," you responded, only widening his smile. his eyes lingered on yours a bit longer before darting over to the band and then to yours again, squeezing your hand.
"i have a present for you," he muttered after a few seconds of silence, the live band now silent. you noticed only a few notes of the guitar playing repeatedly, a new melody you have yet to hear in an existing song.
"this is a song called nap of a star, i wrote it for you," he smiled, gentle fingers coming up to tuck a stray piece of hair behind your ear. recalling his faint hum in the back of your mind from that rainy night. his promise.
and so he began.
I can see even if you're not by my side I feel you even if you don't say a word..
he sang just loud enough for only you to hear, the rest of the guests kindly observing your slow dance from afar, some teary-eyed.
the guitar melody sounded beautiful, one he crafted the late nights he stayed up in the little at-home studio he had built in your apartment together. nights you would often sit across from him, watching candlelight flicker from the reflection of his guitar as he lulled you with the depths of his voice.
I want to be your nap so I can dream with you no matter when.. As if nothing had happened..
beomgyu had gained more confidence with singing over the years, gaining enough to sing in a public space, even if no one could really hear him. all that mattered was that you did. you swayed with him as he held your waist, pressed flush against one another, his thumbs soft over the lace of your dress.
On a sunset evening, even in the night when the sky is dark.. My heart is full of you.
the full moon gleamed overhead as he sang to you, casting your swaying shadows across the wooden platform in pale light. you couldn't once tear your gaze from his eyes. both slighly teary-eyed as he sang everything he felt for you, putting it all into a song you never wanted to end. you just wanted to stay here forever.
all you yearned to see were the depths of his eyes where you found the promise of eternity. his lips where you found the promise of pure joy and lifelong kisses. his hands where you found never-ending warmth and comfort. that was all you wanted. all you needed, endlessly. you couldn't wait to spend the rest of your life with him.
~
you could hardly see beomgyu over the tall, paper lantern that flickered between the two of you. that was, until he peeked over its brim, wiggling his eyebrows at you.
"ready?" you asked him through a small giggle. only your nose and eyes visible over the lantern's bright glow. he tickled your fingers with the gentle brush of his.
"three...two..." you counted down, looking over at him in anticipation as you each held onto an end, watching the flame dance in his dark eyes.
at "one," you released the lantern together, watching it float weightlessly up into the night sky, carrying the promises and wishes you held in your hearts; ones of lifelong unity and happiness, which you knew were wishes that had already come true long ago.
other guests released their lanterns into the dark sky as well, watching them slowly accumulate in the sky like fireflies. beomgyu's four friends released theirs together as you heard their excited laughs echo behind you. you smiled, content that everyone was having a good time.
he held you, wrapping both of his arms around your waist as you watched your lantern become smaller and smaller in the speckled sky. looking up at the moon reminded him that this night would be completely dark without it. similar to how his life wouldn't be as bright without you in it. you and the moon; always there to brighten the darkness. 
your head fell to his shoulder, simply breathing with him. you thought about your future together; about what it would be like to maybe move here one day. maybe open up a coffee shop or a cute little library and after many years, grow to be the cutest elderly couple in town. always by his side.
you looked up at him from his warm shoulder, his eyes reflecting the sky, you almost couldn't tell the difference between the stars in the night sky and the stars in his eyes. 
no one sees his beauty quite like you do. the way his brown eyes catch the sun rays at sunset and turn gold at dusk, but also reflect the night sky like a mirror. his soft touch; the way his fingers gently graze upon your skin like a feather. the way his cheeks pull upward when there's an oncoming smile, revealing rays from his toothy grin. his thick, soft voice; the way it sings you to sleep or whispers that he loves you.
he looked down at you, the way your hair- like silk as it fell weightlessly over your ear, waiting to be tucked back into place by his fingers. like his fingers were made for you, made for that strand of hair. and they are. and the strand of your hair, falling perfectly, was made for him as well.
you were made for him. and he was made for you.
and so you watched the last bit of the lantern, like a speck now in the sky, disappear into oblivion. you both wondered where it went, deep in conversation about the possibilities. did it just disintegrate or will it survive beyond space? where there are billions of stars with dozens of planets. where there are a trillion comets, supernova explosions and new planets being formed. where there might be other life, but you're not sure. but there is one thing you both know for sure. 
there is nothing in the universe
like you.
the end:)
~
a/n: alas, it's here! if you are reading this, thank you so so much for being patient with me, and with this sequel. this past year has been a rollercoaster, but the whole time i had this fic in mind and always wanted to finish it <3 thank you for all the love on tokyo and i really hope you enjoyed this one! i love you all, please know you are amazing, worth it, and so loved :)
more fics coming soon!! <3
©beomie3
tags: @enhasengene @soobsfairy444 @xiaoting999 @londonchuu @rpkth @dainsleif-when-playable @tatanbin @croissant-san @younglingslayer69 @readingmochi @bangtanattic
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ahundredtimesover · 1 year
Text
Belong (01) | MYG
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Pairing: Yoongi x (f.) Reader
Genre/Tags: exes-to-lovers-to-exes-to-lovers; actress!OC x basketball coach!Yoongi; summer romance; “long” distance relationship; parallel timelines; angst, fluff, smut
Chapter (Series) Warnings: foul/explicit language; alcohol consumption & passing out, family drama, sport injury; dreams & moving away; implied depression; basketball and acting talk; 2014 and 2022 Yoongi; shy and nonchalant cocky whipped Yoongi; explicit sexual content (specific warnings stated per chapter (18+)
Chapter Word count: 14.2k
Series Masterlist
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Status: Complete
Series summary: Being an actor has always been your dream. Pursuing it meant many things - leaving the town where you grew up, distancing yourself from your family that had fallen apart, and saying goodbye to the man who made you feel what home was like. When you decide to finally return after being away for so long, you meet Min Yoongi again, and you’re reminded of the summer romance from 8 years ago with the college basketball superstar whose broken dream pushed you away. As you find yourself spending time with him, you’re left to wonder if love changes, if it gives second chances, or if it’s just another illusion that will hurt the both of you the second time around.
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Listen to: Boston by Augustana; Shelter by Luca Fogale || Playlist 🎶
A/N: Posting this today to celebrate People pt.2 and D-Day! Here’s a little piece I’ve had for a while. It felt fitting to write something about dreams and finding your purpose through Yoongi and at a time when I’m going through something similar. There’s nothing like his wisdom and his warmth so I hope this could mean something to you somehow. 💕 Please enjoy! And 🫡 to NBA Ambassador Suga! Now that’s his 🏀 dream in another form.
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Present Day
There’s always something magical whenever you watch yourself on screen. 
It’s not due to some narcissistic reason or an insatiable desire for the spotlight; it’s not even because you think you’re really talented. Sure, you like the attention and just like anyone who’s spent years of their lives perfecting their craft, you want to be pretty great at it, but all those thoughts become suspended whenever it’s your scene. 
During these instances, it’s only about your character and her emotions, and that’s what you think is remarkable about it - watching yourself is just like being there, in that moment, on that set, feeling it all. 
Most actors would say they love acting because it gives them a variety of roles and personalities to play. You like that bit, too, but it’s the character’s emotions that you commit yourself to the most; it’s being able to immerse yourself in the feelings of joy and anger, of contempt and fear, of envy and admiration, of guilt and love. You like the finiteness of it, that with acting comes the feeling, and you know at some point, it’s going to end. 
Once the scene is over, so is the emotion; you’re able to let go of it right away with one breath. You’re good at that, you think - holding onto something for as long as it’s yours, and then letting it go when it no longer is. 
The collective gasp of the people around you breaks your bubble only a little; you release a breath yourself as the last scene unfolds. And with the final shot and the succeeding transition to the end credits, you let go of the sadness.
“I can’t believe that only took one shot,” your best friend, Taehyung, says in awe. “I would’ve been crying already knowing how it ends.”
“Jin and I challenged each other,” you proudly say. “We said we’d do our absolute best for that first try and the director thought it was that good. Seriously, not crying until that last second was so hard; I didn’t think I could do it.”
The Kim Seokjin, your co-actor and good friend, looks at you from the other side of the couch with that soft and proud look that you only ever get from him once a project is over. You return the sentiment, knowing that you wouldn’t have survived your first lead role in a drama series if he wasn’t acting alongside you. 
He’d been your senior at university where you both took your major in acting. He was already modeling then and snagged a major role in a movie right after graduation; he became a household name after that. 
You watched from the sidelines as he achieved his dreams while you took the occasional 30-second roles given to the students, but he didn’t forget you. He called regularly to know how you were doing, gave tips when you asked, and informed you of upcoming auditions. 
It was the type of friendship that challenged you, given that you both wanted to one day star in a series or movie together, a culmination of all the long hours of rehearsals and line-reading and classes that you both did. He had already made a name for himself; you wanted to be good enough to have yours be opposite his. 
It would take a few years, but after a supporting role in a romcom movie that saw people wanting more of you, you and Jin finally got cast in a series about a mortal woman falling in love with a celestial being, which, at the beginning, reflected your respective statuses in the industry. You expected the show to do well - everything that Kim Seokjin touches turns to gold, as the saying goes - but you didn’t expect for the public to love you both as a pair as much as they do, given that they want you to star in another show right away. 
“I cried as I turned around,” Jin says of the scene where he had to go back to his world and leave you behind. “That was heavy and even I’m impressed we did it in one shot.”
“Well, the sadness and grief would have dwindled by the third or fourth time,” you chuckle. “I’m not good enough yet to maintain all the emotions after so many takes.”
“Not that you aren’t good enough,” Jin counters. “You just haven’t been in the industry that long yet. That kind of experience makes a difference. I’d say I wouldn’t have been able to sustain the same emotion for long, too. It was a difficult one. I mean, what goodbye scene isn’t?”
It’s a rhetorical question, of course, but much of why it was difficult for you to keep the emotions in was because it was your first goodbye scene. You have a feeling that the succeeding ones wouldn’t be any easier, though. You’d like to think you’re okay with goodbyes and that says a lot, but then again, you don’t know anyone who’s actually good at it.
Or maybe you do. But you’d rather not think about it.
It’s silent for a few more seconds. You suppose that the rest of your co-actors who are here with you are still processing the end of a series that’s been their source of comfort for the past few months, too. It had been your weekly routine to watch the episode together in Jin’s house, not wanting to let go of each other just yet after filming wrapped up a few weeks ago. 
“Well, that was amazing, wasn’t it?” He finally speaks up. “It was a good run and thank god that ___ insisted on these watch parties. Or else I’d be crying by myself in my room after the finale,” he laughs. “This better not be the last time we see each other.”
“Because it isn’t,” you reply. “We still have that cast and crew dinner and a couple more filming stuff for promo. That’s easily another 3 more weeks of being together. Which is really 3 weeks too short.”
“So… does anyone want to go on a trip after that?” Hyun-seung, one of the actors, excitedly suggests. “It’d be a good way to unwind and use up what we’ll earn.”
You laugh along with everyone but you’re the only one who passes up on it. 
“I can’t,” you sigh. “I have a trip to Daegu at the end of the month and I can’t move it.”
Disappointed sighs echo throughout the living room, and you insist that they should continue with the trip without you. Most of them don’t want to, but you eye Jin so that he would make the call to push through with it even if you won’t be around, so he does. It’s rare to find such good company with other actors, and you truly want them to maintain the friendships they built here way beyond the series. 
Your friends make general plans as you listen in, wishing you could be there instead of home, which is where you’ll be for the next 2 months as you promised your family. Or more like, as they guiltripped you into doing. 
You haven’t been home in years and for good reason. After your parents separated and you were the lone child who didn’t harbor anger towards your mother who wanted to pursue her dreams elsewhere, you promised yourself you’d leave that place, too. 
Visits during summer had been fine. But after the most painful goodbye you ever made, you’d stopped going back altogether, reasoning that your up and coming career required all your time. You doubt that your family knew the truth, and despite their remarks of you following in the footsteps of your mother, those weren’t enough for you to open up about something so heartbreaking, knowing it hit too close to home. Their bitterness wasn’t a reason for you to keep going back either. 
“Daegu, really?” Jin asks after everyone else has left, save for Taehyung and Jimin, your personal assistant whose glassy eyes say he’s not yet over the season finale. “You haven’t been home in 6 years.”
“Four, actually,” you correct him. “I had a filming there sometime ago.”
“Yeah, but you didn’t actually go home,” he clarifies. “You went to the shoot then back to your hotel. I remember that; I kept asking Tae how you were doing.”
“I was fine,” you shrug. “How was I supposed to be? I was good, just couldn’t wait to get back here. I had a boyfriend, remember?”
“Andrew was a fling, not a boyfriend,” Jin rolls his eyes, and you confirm that the model is his least favorite of your exes. “And if I remember correctly, you broke it off days later.”
“Well, it stops being good when it stops being fun,” Taehyung says, mocking your usual statement whenever your friends ask why you broke things off with your partners. “She shut down when she came back. I guess going home does that to her.”
“You know how places just naturally comfort you? Daegu isn’t that place,” you try to explain. “I had to get it off my system for the one week I was there and Andrew acted out. I just didn’t want the drama.”
Everyone nods, knowing it’s how you usually are. You always viewed relationships as a complement to your job. Being an actor is tough work with its own complications and you definitely don’t want it from your partner. It was always easy for you to fall into that honeymoon hole with someone, but you always walked away from it just as quick once the rainbows and butterflies had subsided. Whether it’s jealousy over your leading men or not having enough time, or just wanting to be by yourself to regroup, your exes always found a reason to argue. And you were always good at walking away when you needed to.
It was like that with every person. Except one. Your friends don’t know if he’s the reason why, or if he’s the exception.
“So what made you decide to go home? And for how long?” Jin queries, feeling a little worried because of what he knows is out there for you. He’s always been a little protective like that.
“About 2 months?” You respond, to the surprise of the older man. “My dad wants me to celebrate his wedding anniversary with them. And spend time with my sisters’ kids and my grandparents and shit.”
“And spend time with my parents,” Taehyung adds, knowing it’s probably the only thing you’re excited about, given how much they adore you and vice versa. “They can’t wait to see you.”
“Same here,” you finally smile. “We’re definitely seeing them first.”
“Anyone else you’re going to see there?” Jin asks some more.
“You can say his name, you know?” You nudge your friend’s knee. “I know he’s who you mean.”
“Well then. Are you going to see Yoongi?”
“I don’t plan on seeing him but I probably will. It’s a big city but it’s a small town. Plus, I’m with Daegu’s Prince right here,” you say, pointing to your best friend who’s made a name for himself as a ballad singer. “Tae will be dragging me around so I won’t be surprised if I encounter Yoongi somehow, somewhere.”
“And what happens when you see him?” Jimin now asks, wanting to know if he’d need to drive to you in case you decide to come home early. 
“Then I see him. We’re… fine,” you state, earning you an eye roll from each man, so you clarify. “I mean, I’m perfectly fine living my dream in Seoul. And he’s a college basketball coach in Daegu, which is the closest to his dream he could get, and I heard his team’s doing really well. It’s been 6 years. He let me go. And I’ve moved on. Who knows how it’s gonna be like? But I’m civil with each one of my exes and it won’t be any different with him.”
“He’s different, though,” Jimin points out. “You actually loved him; you can’t say the same for all your exes. And you can’t argue that,” he adds, seeing your shaking head and disagreeing face. “Drunk and hungover you told me all that more than once and I trust that version of you over the sober one when it comes to your love life.”
“Okay, Mr. Know-It-All,” you frown at him. “I wasn’t going to deny that but it was the naive, impulsive, hopeless romantic version of me who loved him. That’s not me anymore. I’ve grown up. I know what I want from my partner, and Yoongi is just the small town boy who’ll always think that his broken dreams will keep him from loving me the way I deserve. And maybe he’s right.”
It’s quiet for a while, as your friends take in your words since you rarely ever talk about the man unless you’re in an inebriated state or recovering from it. But it’s the first time that the possibility of seeing him looms over you, knowing that within those 2 months, you’re bound to run into him somehow. 
Now it’s too quiet, and you realize that none of you know what to say since you’re all sober. Truth be told, you don’t remember anything that Jimin’s ever told you during those times that you opened up, and Jin never really said much, knowing how hard that breakup hit you. And Taehyung, well… the man was there before, during, and after it all, yet he never really said much, always choosing to let the silence engulf both of you.
“Look, I’m touched you all seem to be worried,” you finally speak up. “But I’m going to be fine. I found a house I’m renting that’s nice and private. I’m actually excited to eat at my favorite restaurants and visit places I’ve missed. I can’t do anything about my family but at least Tae will be with me the whole time and save me from their madness if he needs to. And Yoongi, well… he’s a closed chapter in my book. There’s no reason to revisit that. Hi, goodbye - that’ll be it, just like before.”
You sigh to yourself, hoping that your friends would take your word for it, though you don’t really blame them if they don’t. They’ve seen you barely bat an eye after calling it quits with your exes but they’ve heard of how broken you were because of that breakup; seeing Yoongi again might just bring up old memories that you might not be ready for. And they won’t all be there to lift you up like they’d want to. 
“Okay then, if you say so,” Jin finally smiles. “But if something comes up… you know I can always drive there and bring you back here.”
“And add to the already existing rumors about us being a thing?” You laugh, referring to all the social media fodder about your chemistry that’s too good, it might be real. 
“So? Then we let it,” he shrugs.
“Does the Kim Seokjin not care about dating rumors?” You gasp. “You always complained about it. Don’t tell me you like me.”
Jin sits next to you and cups your face in his hands. “I… love you. The way a dear friend who dreamed with you and who gets to live that out with you does. We all love you. We’d do anything for you. You know that, right?”
“I do,” you say, humming once he plants a soft kiss on your forehead, just like all the times he’d done before - when you graduated university, when you didn’t get callbacks, and when you landed your first major role. “Thank you.”
You decide to head out after a long evening. Jimin lists your activities for the next day before he’s dropped off at his apartment. Taehyung lets you listen to his new single for his upcoming album, and you get emotional over his soulful sound and the fact that he gets to live out his dream with you, too.
He walks you to your front door and hugs you tightly, just like all the times he’d done before - when you cried about your family, when Yoongi broke up with you, and when you found out he was dating someone new. 
“I love you, okay?” Your best friend whispers. 
He says it in that soft, comforting voice of his. The one that always told you that things were gonna be fine, as if love solves all things, and at one point, you believed it did. 
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Your hometown of Daegu looks very different from the last time you were really here. It changes a lot. And it changes pretty quickly. 
But some things about it stay the same - family-run restaurants, streets lined with little shops passed down from generations, the parks and the temples, the playground in your old neighborhood with the basketball court that you know all too well.
They make the place home, Mrs. Kim says. That doesn’t change no matter how far or how long you’ve been away. 
You want to disagree. This place was never home. It felt like bits of it during the times you used to watch ballet performances at the Opera House with your mom or when your dad used to grill makchang on Friday nights. 
But when she decided to leave and then he remarried, you had just memories of home left. Your sisters’ resentment over your happiness for your mother as she achieved her dreams took all that was remaining, and coming here reminds you more than what you lost; it reminds you of what you can never have - that space to dream, the place of safety, the love that would endure time and distance. 
You enjoy the best short ribs dish over Mr. Kim’s recordings of his saxophone performances. Mrs. Kim dotes on you like her own daughter, and Taehyung announces all the things you’ll be doing now that you’re both back home, taking your respective breaks that you deserve, and spending the money that you worked hard for. 
You eventually leave for some rest. The house you’re staying at is far from the buzz of the city. It’s private and secure, a little too spacious for one, and boasts of the views of the mountains. Jimin had found it, knowing you’d need the peace and quiet amidst all that would be taking place during your short time here. 
Taehyung will be staying over at his parents’ place, but they insist that it’s open for you to visit anytime you want. You think you need the time for yourself, though. Your job often requires you to be around people, and you’re thankful for the choice you have now to be away from them. For some time, at least.
[From: Manager Jung] Are you settled? I’ve got a script for you to go through. Sending it now 
Your agent-slash-manager’s message disrupts your moment of tranquility as you sit out at the garden, watching the sun set. You’d arrived from Seoul in time for lunch and spent the rest of the afternoon at Taehyung’s parents’ house before heading to yours. 
[To: Manager Jung] Yeah, all good. But give me a week until I read the script. Don’t want to think much about work yet 
[From: Manager Jung] Fine. Just don’t take too long 
You sigh, knowing that though you promised Jin and Jimin that you won’t be thinking about work while you’re here - you need a break from it all, they told you - your manager won’t really let you. And much as you want to complain about him pushing you real hard, you’re thankful that Jung Hoseok always does. 
He was the one who saw your talent and insisted you’ve got a bright future after one casting call that you were almost late for. He was strategic in which roles to pitch you for as a rookie actor, and which ones would get you ahead of the game, no matter how challenging it was. During the times you wondered if you were meant for this industry, he always assured you that you were. There was always going to be a bigger break after the last, he believed, and he promised you he’d go searching for that role until you got the biggest break of your career. 
And every time you think he’ll cross the line of pressuring you too much, he says something sweet, brotherly, friendly. 
[From: Manager Jung] But take care of yourself there, ok? Don’t let them talk down on you. Don’t let them crush your dreams 
You’d cry if his words came with a hug.
[From: Manager Jung] And guard your heart. Don’t let him hurt you again 
You pretend he means your father; he let your sisters’ resentment of you go on after all, and his inaction made you feel unloved in your own home. 
You don’t want to think that Hoseok means someone else because it would mean that for all the times you questioned if everything you gave up to chase your dream was worth it, then he knew it was because of the man who broke your heart 6 years ago. You don’t want to think that all these years, Hoseok knew that your buzz-worthy dating life, whose aftermath he always had to manage, was just your futile attempt at getting over the first and only man you ever loved. 
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Being in any sports facility unsettles you. You always claim that the buzz of sporting events just isn’t your cup of tea - you prefer the noise of a film or television set, or of a theater right before the movie starts. It wasn’t always like that, of course. You used to enjoy the screams and heckles of sports fans; you used to be one of them. 
But you found out the hard way that losing someone means you lose the parts of you that you’d adopted because of them, that you fall out of love with the things you used to love because of them.
Basketball is one of those things. It’s why Taehyung used to not invite you whenever there were Thunders games at Jamsil despite the free tickets always available for you; he knew you’d say no and he hates rejection. 
But Mr. Song is a man you can’t say no to. Not only is he the city’s mayor, he’s also a good friend of your father’s, which is how the chief official got wind of your return. 
Your trip isn’t meant to be publicized. Actors take breaks and visit their hometowns regularly without attracting the media, and oftentimes, that’s thanks to the local government, who employs their political will and own security to ensure that celebrities aren’t disturbed while they’re on vacation or just visiting family. It’s good for them, of course, but it also sometimes comes with small favors, like a private dinner with some of their close friends and some photos or autographs. You don’t really mind, especially since the same is extended to Taehyung, hence why the lunch earlier at the mayor’s residence wasn’t all that bad. It was only slightly awkward with your father because you chose to meet up with Taehyung’s family first before yours, but your dad didn’t dwell on it. 
Other than privacy, one other thing you get are free courtside Korean Basketball League tickets. The Pegasus just recently moved to Daegu from Incheon and there’d been a lot of promotion to get the city to give their full support to their new hometown team. Mr. Song thinks that photos of you and Taehyung attending the game will be the publicity that the team needs, and while your best friend genuinely agrees to the arrangement, you only do so half-heartedly. You’ll at least see your friends who are playing for the other team, but even the thought of Jungkook and Namjoon being back home and the party they’ll throw after is making you even more unsettled. 
“Hmm, number 16 was pretty cute,” you whisper to Taehyung as you head out of the locker room after some photos with the home team. “I wonder if he’ll be at the party tonight.”
“No, he won’t,” your best friend responds. 
“Why not? Because he’s from the other team? I’m sure that Jungkook won’t mind, right? I mean, yeah it’s his house but—”
“Tonight is for college friends only.”
“We didn’t even go to their university,” you point out, given that you and Taehyung studied in Seoul and had met there, instantly clicking after finding out you both hailed from the same city. “Why are we going?”
“We are honorary members,” he replies. “I went to high school with them and you…” he trails, trying to figure out how to phrase how you became an honorary member of their group of friends without bringing him up. 
“Are the ex of one of their friends,” you finish for him. “You can say it, you know?”
“I don’t know, can I?” He arches a brow.
“Yes. I don’t deny the fact that Yoongi and I dated.”
“You just deny how much it affected you.”
“You mistake my amazing ability of moving on for denial,” you groan. “But oh shit. Wait. Does this mean that he’ll be there at the party?”
Taehyung huffs as he settles in his seat and looks at your worried eyes. “For someone who doesn’t seem to be in denial, you sure look a bit anxious that he might be there tonight. Didn’t you say you can be civil with your exes?”
“Yeah, I can,” you reply defensively. “I don’t know about him. But then again, he moved on first, so I doubt seeing me would affect him much.”
Your best friend lets out a breath, not wanting to argue. He’s learned long ago that when it comes to Yoongi, you’re dead set on many things - like the narrative that he moved on first, that he was so much happier without you, that dreams were always more important for him, whether it was yours or his. Taehyung tried to help you process that whole experience, especially the aftermath, as you went on dating one man after another after you found out about Yoongi dating some local musician. 
But you always had a default answer, that you’ve always been that way - quick to fall in love and quick to fall out of it, and Yoongi was no exception. You met, fell in love, and while you technically didn’t fall out of love, the breakup left you no choice but to do just that; he was the one who insisted that you leave, after all, and you’d been the one too heartbroken that he didn’t love you enough to make you stay.
“Well then let’s just see what happens,” Taehyung shrugs. “We’ve got a game to watch, a party to go to, and friends to catch up with.”
“And a nice, peaceful home to retire to after tonight. I’ll need all the good energy before I see the rest of my family tomorrow,” you sigh.
Right, there’s that, Taehyung frowns. Your family’s too complicated that you insist you don’t want him to get sucked into the drama, hence why you don’t want him to go with you. But between that and the possibility of seeing your ex, he could only hope that during this trip, you won’t get your heart broken too early, too quickly, or too hard.
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“How is it that the Pegasus have been playing here for months but it’s the first time we’re watching their game live?” Geumjae asks incredulously as he sips his beer. 
“Because it’s the first home game of the season against the Thunders when I’m home and when Jungkook and Namjoon don’t have girlfriends to give their tickets to,” Yoongi explains to his older brother. “And well, I never asked before.”
“Well, good on us that you’re here and your friends currently don’t have girlfriends,” Geumjae laughs. “Also, you could totally ask. They’re your friends; I don’t think it would be that hard for them to get extra seats for us.”
“I’m not their only friend here. I’m sure a bunch of the guys from college would ask,” Yoongi shrugs. 
“You’re not just their friend, Yoon,” his brother groans. “You played with them, you captained them, and led them to college championships.”
“Yeah, yet I’m the one hustling it out as a college coach while they’re playing pro,” the younger man huffs. 
He doesn’t mean to be bitter. He loves those guys, hustled it out with them until the late evenings just to get the proper training and workout in almost a decade ago. He couldn't be any prouder when Jungkook and Namjoon got drafted to professional teams and then reunited as teammates with the Seoul Samsung Thunders just 2 years ago. Yoongi had been the encouraging senior who messaged them right away, happy for his peers for being together again just like old times. He won’t lie and say it didn’t sting a bit to be left out from the life they all dreamed of having, with him being the only one who didn’t get to achieve it alongside them. 
“Well, if it matters at all, you’re doing amazing,” Geumjae tries to cheer his brother up. “I read online that many are calling your team to win it all this year. Imagine being the only person in your school’s history to be a champion player and coach? Not just anyone can say that.”
Yoongi hums, trying to let the thought comfort him. It doesn’t do much; coaching a college basketball team is leagues away from playing professionally. The energy is different, so is the hustle. Shooting hoops with the kids during training isn’t the same. The lights and the cheers as he sits on the bench calling plays isn’t the same either. He can at least say that with coaching, he’s able to shape and mentor the young ones, direct them to better paths, encourage them to reach their dreams, and to not settle for a life they’re not happy with or proud of. He’s got a bunch of players who got drafted last year and dedicated their first professional game to him, and that’s an indescribable feeling he’ll always hold onto. It reminds him that even if it wasn’t him, it was at least someone he cared about. 
He watches as the players do their warmups on court before the start of the game. This isn’t the first time he’s watched live, but it’s the first time with Jungkook and Namjoon as teammates, so seeing them goof around and do the handshake that they used to do warms his heart a little. Maybe it’s this bit of joy that he needs to remind him that it’s okay, that even if life turned out differently for him, at least basketball is still part of his life. There’s more he wants, of course, but this is way better than nothing. He reminds himself at one point, he didn’t think he could ever set foot on a basketball court again.
The game finally starts and though he’s usually quiet whenever he watches games, he can’t help the small small cheer he makes whenever Jungkook or Namjoon scores or makes crucial plays. He still knows their moves, can still read Jungkook’s pump-fake, and can still tell by Namjoon’s stance if he’s gonna make that rare three. Though he was a shooting guard during his glory days, Yoongi still prides himself in his playmaking skills and knowing his teammates well, something that scouts used to rave about. 
Yoongi sips his beer, no doubt enjoying the exciting match. He obviously wants the Thunders to win, but the Pegasus aren’t backing down, not letting themselves trail by more than 8 points. He’s in a bit of a trance, as he lets himself drown in the cheers of the crowd, imagining that it’s him leaving it all out on the court. 
But as he looks up on the big screen during timeout, he feels like the air is being sucked out of him. His ears don’t betray them either, as the announcer calls on your name and Taehyung’s - “celebrity sightings,” he says, while you and your best friend wave to the camera and smile like the superstars that you both are. The cheers get louder and Geumjae joins them until he realizes.
“Shit, that’s your ex-girlfriend,” he whisper-shouts. He laughs at the scene of his brother practically choking on his drink. “Wow, she still has that effect on you, huh?”
“No, she doesn’t,” Yoongi says nonchalantly, desperately forcing his heart to slow its beating. 
“Did you know she’s gonna be here?”
“I don’t keep tabs on her whereabouts, Geumjae,” he replies, suddenly sounding hard, defensive.
“Do you think she’s gonna be at the party?”
Fuck, the party, Yoongi slightly panics. Jungkook talked about the sort of reunion he’s throwing at his house after the game. Their old teammates will be there, as well as some other friends from college who are still in the city. You and Taehyung were honorary members of that group and Yoongi knows that you’re both invited, too.
“I guess,” he merely shrugs, looking like it doesn’t bother him much. 
It shouldn’t. It’s been 6 years, and while he’d been the one to break it off, you’re the one who’s dated a lot since then, something he can’t fault you for. You’d obviously catch a lot of attention - you did catch his - not just for your charm and unbelievable beauty but for your talent as well. He’s not surprised that you’re rumored to be dating Kim Seokjin, said to be this decade’s most desired leading man and who also happens to be your good friend, the one who’d helped you out a lot during your years in university. Yoongi used to be a little jealous then, something he never told you, and well, he guesses it’s meant to be with you and Seokjin now, a man he could probably never live up to. 
“Are you gonna be okay?” Geumjae breaks through his thoughts.
“Yeah. Why won’t I be?” Yoongi huffs, sinking back to his seat to watch the game that suddenly isn’t so interesting anymore. 
His question is left unanswered and his brother resumes his cheers, no doubt invested in this match that’s now tied. But Yoongi drifts in and out, his eyes following the players up and down the court then mindlessly landing on you. You’re seated in a relaxed manner, the opposite to how you used to watch his games. He sees you silently cheer for the Thunders, too, and you giggle at Taehyung when you scream louder than you intended, your hand covering your mouth as you lean on your friend and he laughs along. 
He could hear the sound of your laughter from across the gymnasium, as if the way the dulcet tone of your voice used to send shivers down his spine whenever you giggled in his ears was just yesterday. He shakes off the goosebumps he feels and tries to sit comfortably on the chair.
“Are you nervous?” Geumjae asks. “You’re awfully quiet.”
“Since when was I ever loud during a basketball game?” He shoots his brother an incredulous look. 
“You may not make a sound but your body does,” the older man points out. “I could feel you buzzing earlier and cheering in that Yoongi way of yours but now,” he eyes him up and down, “your legs are just bouncing. And you're biting your nails again.”
Yoongi catches himself. He forces his leg to be still and tucks his hand under it. It’s a tell he has, and he has no doubt that his brother has caught on. Still, he lies. “The game’s close. I want the Thunders to win.”
“Really? That’s what you’re going with?”
“Yes, now can we just focus on the game?” Yoongi chides, not wanting to confirm whatever his brother’s suspicions are. 
“Fine, but for the record, I know exactly why you’re nervous.”
“I don’t really care.”
Geumjae sighs as he watches his brother’s gaze go to you once more, unknowingly, perhaps, as Yoongi seems to shake himself off after every time he realizes that his eyes were locked on your direction. But he can’t blame the younger man. You entered his life and he fell, extremely hard, and letting you go was the most difficult thing he ever had to do. Yoongi doesn’t need to tell him though, but there’s enough of his younger brother’s broken pieces lying around for Geumjae to know that it was also something he regretted doing, and he wishes his brother was at least brave enough to admit all that.
The Thunders win by 5 points. It was nail-biting until the very end. It was Namjoon’s crucial offensive rebound and Jungkook’s 3-point shot that sealed the game for them, and Yoongi was present enough to witness those last few plays. He decides to enjoy this moment with his friends, knowing they’d be asking him about it later. If he’ll still go to the party. Somehow, seeing you again made him a little dizzy. It was still on the screen, but now he’s not sure he’ll know what to do when he sees you in person. 
He and his brother let the crowds go before heading out separately. Geumjae’s car is parked elsewhere, and Yoongi decides to head to the washroom and pace his walk to the parking lot. Hands on his pockets and eyes glued to the floor, he hears a gasp, and he releases one himself when he sees you, hiding behind one of the vending machines as a group of fans at the end of the hallways starts walking towards your direction, wondering aloud where you went. 
He sees the panicked look in your eyes and decides to stop the crowd before they come any closer. 
“She headed that way,” he announces, pointing to the right. “There’s an exit there. She probably left already.”
You hear the disappointed sighs, and much as you don’t want to let your fans down - you’re not one to deny them autographs - there have been too many of them this afternoon and you weren’t mentally prepared to accommodate each one of them. The footsteps disappear not long after and you let out a sigh of relief. That was close, but you didn’t expect Yoongi, of all people, to be the one to stir them away.
You turn to him, about to say your thanks, but somehow the words get stuck in your throat. You recall being a giddy mess the very first time you saw him, with nibbled lips and palpitating heart as you watched him shoot baskets and dribble the ball like no one’s business, and you’d been a goner since then. But he was a lot thinner during that time. His hair was cut short and his eyes had this sharp, confident gaze that usually intimidated people. You eventually saw how they softened only for you, though, but you’ll always remember that summer and how he had you wanting him at first glance. 
This man before you isn’t all that different. He still has the same sharp eyes, with his look penetrating right through your soul like he knows you and well, he does, which is also why he was quick to misdirect the crowd after he perhaps saw the look of worry on your face. His tiny nose is the same, so is his pale skin. But his hair is now long, pushed back in the middle as it softly reaches close to his shoulders. He’s a lot leaner; you can easily tell from what’s hiding behind his thin white shirt underneath his blue jacket. You recall him dressing mostly in monotone colors, so seeing him in something a little more striking is new. He’s gorgeous just like before, and you don’t really know why you expected that he wouldn’t render you speechless this time around.
“___,” he calls out. “Were they bothering you?”
“No, uh…” you stutter, hating yourself for suddenly being nervous. “There were just too many of them and they were getting quite close, I kind of panicked. Stupid, really. I should be used to it by now. More of them came and I just…”
“If they were invading your personal space then that’s not right,” he says, his tone so serious you mistake it for worry. “Did they touch you or anything?”
“Oh no! Nothing like that. I just got a bit overwhelmed.”
“Where’s Taehyung?” He asks, as you watch him walk to the vending machine where you’re hiding, tap his card, and then get the bottled water that falls out. He opens it and hands it to you as if he’d done this so many times before, and well, he actually has.
“He met up with a couple of friends,” you explain. “The crowd got to me right after and I kinda lost him, but I told him I’ll meet him outside, somewhere near where the players come out.”
“Hmm, okay,” Yoongi hums, looking away. 
He should’ve expected you to look way more beautiful up close but he tends to overestimate his ability to be entranced by you. He’s surprised he even got any word out, but the worry crept in the moment he saw you look a little winded and he just wanted to make sure you were alright. You’re a celebrity, after all, and the city’s “Princess,” as they claim. 
You look a little nervous though, and a part of him just wants to scold Taehyung for leaving you behind, seeing as neither of you looked like you had security with you earlier. But that shouldn’t be his responsibility anymore, he reminds himself. 
“Thanks for the water, by the way,” you speak up. “How much was it?”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“Thanks again,” you smile shyly. “So, uhm, do you know where the other exit is? I’m kind of lost.”
“Oh, uh… the one close to where the players go out is there,” he cocks his head to the left, towards a hallway behind swinging doors. “I can uh, I can show you where.”
“Ah, that would be great. Did you park close there, too?”
No.
“Yeah,” he lies. “Let’s go before more people see you.”
He opens the door and walks after you. It doesn’t help that the hallway suddenly feels much smaller and closed off because now, Yoongi has to listen to your footsteps and nothing else, since neither one of you chooses to talk. 
What does he say to the woman he broke up with 6 years ago? Maybe he can say something about your recently concluded series. He thought it was really good. Is it weird to ask what your next project is? Perhaps. You probably can’t even tell him. How was it like being the leading lady this time? Fuck, he’s not a talk show host or anything like that. 
He sees the end of the hallway before his mind can come up with another stupid question, and he rushes to the door before you do, catching you by surprise. 
“Just wanted to make sure there’s no one to bother you,” he explains, as you exit the building with questioning eyes. 
“Oh, thanks,” you smile shyly again. 
He’s not used to it. He remembers the way your eyes used to gaze at him constantly, how your smile and laughter were all cheeky and flirty, how the tone of your voice was always so confident, so charming. He thinks that maybe like him, you’re just as surprised and unsure about seeing each other after so long. He doesn’t know what to make of things beyond that.
“Do you have someone to pick you up?” he asks, needing to prepare himself if, as a last resort, he’d need to drive you somewhere.
“Yeah, Tae and I were supposed to ride together but,” you pause, checking your phone for your best friend’s text message, “he rode off with his friends and said he’d meet me at Jungkook’s instead so I’m just waiting for the guys. There’s the—”
Party, Yoongi says in his head.
“___!” Jungkook’s loud voice cuts you off. He jogs up to you and puts an arm around your shoulders, unaware of the man in front of you who’s being blocked by a wall. “You ready to go? Tae said he went ahead.”
Yoongi makes his presence known with a low grunt, his eyes pacing from his friend to you. You both look a lot closer than he remembers, and Yoongi’s mind goes to that first time you all met, how Jungkook had announced during their team celebration that the “girl with the yellow scarf on her hair is so pretty” and that he’d wanted to ask you out. Of course, things turned out differently - you weren’t interested in the younger man. But that was years ago. Jungkook has had an impressive professional career and he lives in Seoul. Maybe things have changed for you.
You follow Yoongi’s eyes. Despite many people claiming that he’s difficult to read because of the default unconcerned, almost detached look he has for every situation, you think he’s actually pretty transparent. 
Or maybe that’s just you. You’ve spent enough time with him to know his sound of annoyance and the meaning of his body language. You’ve memorized that pretty face of his at one point that you can tell the slightest parting of his lips and the tiniest drop of his eyes, which could mean that he’s confused, sad, or disappointed. Maybe all.
“Oh, we’re not…” you exclaim, surprising yourself, to the amusement of Namjoon, who suddenly appears next to you. “I mean, Jungkook and I aren’t… a thing.”
You promptly remove the man’s arm from your shoulder and try to decipher Yoongi’s look now. Is it relief? Does he believe you? Does he think it’s silly that you had to clarify that, which you’re wondering why you did?
“Okay,” Yoongi says. 
Perhaps you’re wrong. You can’t tell right now what he’s feeling.
“We just… got to hanging out when I got drafted by the Thunders,” Jungkook now clarifies, which he quickly realizes is maybe making this awkward situation a lot worse. 
You’re Yoongi’s ex-girlfriend after all, and Jungkook had been the one to reach out to you when he moved to Seoul, but not once did he try to pursue you all these years. He respects his captain too much and cares for what you both had, which is why he maintained his friendship with you even after the breakup.  
“That’s nice to know,” Yoongi replies, his tone nonchalant like always.
He’s glad he can keep his cool that well, even if his heart was just about to explode at the thought of you possibly dating his friend. He doesn’t know why he cares, though, as he never really thought much about the so-called code that stated that exes were off-limits to friends. 
He’s just about to turn around when Namjoon calls out. “Min, you’re still going to the party, right?”
Yoongi looks at you, who promptly looks away. Up until 10 minutes ago, he was about 80% sure he would. He didn’t think that being in close proximity to you would make him remember all sorts of things, and that itself is enough for him to run for the hills and avoid you. He won’t claim he did his best to forget about you - he at least tried, and that still counts - but he didn’t expect he’d ever get a chance to be near you, much less talk to you and be in the same place as you. Again. 
But he looks at his friends’ eyes, both pairs unsure yet practically begging him to still go. He remembers these looks, and he swears it’s because he doesn’t want to let both of them down that he battles with the inner part of himself and decides to still go. It definitely doesn’t have anything to do with somehow finding out for how long you’re staying, and why you’re here in the first place. 
“Yeah. I’ll see you guys there,” he replies, turning around now and heading towards his car on the opposite side of the parking lot. 
You watch Yoongi walk away, unsure of why your heart is beating as fast as it is. It had been like that since you saw him after hiding from the fans, and even more so when you walked silently in the hallway to head outside. 
You knew you were gonna see him, maybe even at the party, but not in the way you did. And all your confidence at not being bothered or affected with seeing him again melts away. 
You weren’t prepared for how good he’d look, for how concerned he’d be over your safety, and for that hint of disappointment on his face at the thought of you being with Jungkook. Neither were you prepared for that incredibly tiny part of you that wants to know how he’s doing and if he’d managed to piece together the broken parts of himself and his dream that he so adamantly chose over you.
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You survive the car ride by glaring at Namjoon every time he starts teasing you about panicking over Yoongi thinking that you were dating Jungkook, while the latter curses as he drives, claiming he survived one of the scariest moments of his life. 
You arrive in Jungkook’s house in half an hour, a nice place he bought for himself because he said that Daegu will always be home for him. The sliding doors to the patio give it a spacious feel, and you see that a couple of his friends had already prepped the space, complete with beer kegs and beer pong tables, the way you remember they always used to party.      
The 3 of you spot Taehyung who greets you, and the 2 men next to you proceed to narrate what happened, to your best friend’s shock and amusement. You also fill all of them in with the first part of the story about Yoongi finding you as you hid away from the crowd.
“How… symbolic,” Namjoon hums. “You meet at a basketball court in Daegu after a game while you were hiding from fans because you’re such a bigtime actress now. I mean, it’s quite ironic. The universe is out to tease you or something.”
You agree, it is. It’s times like this when you wish you didn’t believe in fate and destiny because doing so would just give you false hope that you and Yoongi may be meant for more than just those 2 years together. And you absolutely hate it because you can’t fall into that trap of thinking that you’re meant for a happy ending that includes him. That ship sailed a long time ago - 6 years and about 5 partners later.
But as Yoongi enters the house, his bowed head turning up to search the area before daintily tucking a strand of hair behind his ear, you start to think that maybe that ship decided to turn back around and sail towards you once again. He briefly meets your eyes before someone calls out to him, and you’re left to admire him from afar, cute button nose and impeccable side profile and all. 
Taehyung pulls you by the arm and whispers in your ear. “Okay, so what’s our plan?”
“What do you mean, our plan?” You ask, realizing you’ve lost Yoongi as you glance in the direction of where he was, no longer finding him there. “Plan for what?”
“Yoongi, obviously,” Taehyung rolls his eyes. “Do we avoid him, be civil, pretend you don’t think about him anymore, or act like the past 8 years didn’t happen and we don’t actually know him?”
“None of the above,” you groan. “What kinds of options are those?”
“Decent ones?”
“Nope. You’ve already had a lot to drink and I don’t trust you when you’re drunk.”
“Except you should. This is when I don’t hold back when it comes to you,” Taehyung answers.
“And you hold back otherwise?” You frown. 
“Just when it’s about him. It was tough for a long time. I know sometimes it still is.”
You don’t have the heart to disagree. This man has been your best friend for a decade and he knows how you are, knows which pains of yours you’re willing to talk about and which ones you’d rather hide away. Your acting skills may be good but you know that Taehyung can see behind all the smiles and the detachment and the effort to look okay, and whatever it is he’s thinking, there’s a good chance he might be right. You’ve just never been brave enough to admit them. 
The look of understanding you both share gets disrupted when cheers erupt in the middle of the living room, seeing that Seungkwan had just beaten Jungkook in beer pong. The pro player demands a rematch and the entire house cheers in agreement. Jungkook takes the next game but Seungkwan won’t back down. 
“Let’s do it in pairs,” he challenges. “I take Joon.”
“Fine,” Jungkook says, his game face on, knowing there’s one other person he knows could win this with him. “I take the Captain.”
Cheers erupt once more as people push Yoongi to the center where the rest of the guys are. He shakes his head, seemingly uninterested in partaking in tonight’s festivities but goes anyway after much coaxing from everyone. He then does his handshake with Jungkook to the younger man’s insistence, and you watch Yoongi’s soft, shy smile appear. 
And just like the very first time you saw that, you feel your heart thrum in excitement. There was always something special about it, and back then it was because he rarely did it, but he did it a lot when he was with you. It’s nice to see it during a moment like this - surrounded by his old friends while having fun with them. You’re glad he shows more of it now, and you wonder how many people fell harder for him because of it. 
You watch from the sideline as the Jungkook-Yoongi pair score 4 straight. Seungkwan complains that Namjoon isn’t making any shots, prompting the older man to claim that he’s way better at dunking than shooting tiny balls like they’re jumpers. They eventually lose after all the theatrics but it’s enough to get the guests going, as you find yourself teasing both men as well. 
You remember their house parties being this rowdy and this loud, given all the energy and testosterone that these athletes had so much of. That obviously hasn’t changed, and despite all of them having grown up, looking all mature and much more respectable, the naughtiness remains, especially once they’ve had too much to drink. 
It’s why you find yourself surrounded by a bunch of the guys, asking for a photo with you to show off to their friends and families. 
“I’m showing this to the guys at the office,” Seungkwan announces as he gets your approval over the selfie picture he took of you both. “They’re not gonna believe I went to college with an actress.”
“Uh, I didn’t go to college with you,” you laugh along with the others. “I studied in Seoul.”
“Then how the fuck do we know you?” He exclaims, no doubt drunk out of his mind at this point. You remember him having a short-term memory every time.
“He’s the Captain’s ex, dumbo!” Soon-young reminds him, another one of the younger guys who hasn’t drank as much but was never good at knowing what not to say. “Remember the summer before his final year? She was with us all the time.”
“Oh right. They were inseparable and looked so in love,” Seungkwan giggles, and at this point, the rest of the people just go with what he’s saying. 
Not you though, neither does Yoongi, and neither does Namjoon, who slaps the back of Seungkwan’s head to loud-whisper that the ex-couple in question is right there.
“Shit, did they hear me?” Seungkwan wonders out loud and looks around before sipping his beer. “I meant it though.”
He laughs drunkenly, so do many others. There’s really only a handful of you who aren’t intoxicated, but right now you wish you were. 
“Wait, they’re both here?” Seungkwan recovers, eyes now glassy. 
He gasps when his gaze turns to you and then Yoongi, and he puts his arm over your shoulder and slightly drags you to the right so he could put his arm over Yoongi, too.
“I found them!” Seungkwan squeals, pushing both of you to face him. “Shit, you still look good together.”
“Alright, dude, that’s enough,” Namjoon finally steps in, pulling the inebriated man away. “Sorry,” he turns to you. “Don’t mind anything he said.”
Too late, you want to say, but you release an awkward laugh instead. 
“They haven’t changed since college, huh,” Yoongi says, surprising you. “They still put us on the spot then leave us to deal with the aftermath,” he continues, watching as the group disperses to go drink and chat again. 
You turn towards him and sigh in relief over the small smile he has on. You swear the tension was so thick earlier that you could cut it with a knife, but Yoongi doesn’t seem bothered. He looks calm like he always does, and just like those first few times, you take your cue from him. You try to release the tension from your body and smile. 
“They should be banned from drinking when there are ex-lovers in the building,” you chuckle. “But I’m pretty sure he’ll be apologizing to you like crazy once he’s sober. Wish I could see that.”
“I can’t wait for that, too,” Yoongi hums. 
A wave of silence envelopes you both. The sounds of your friends seem like white noise now, and with the background music on and the man next to you just sipping his drink, it’s oddly comforting. 
You learned long ago that he has this amazing ability to do that - make people around them feel calm. There’s something so reassuring about him that remarks about your past don’t faze him, and now that’s rubbing off on you, as you feel the awkwardness slowly melt away.
You and Yoongi stand by the couch while the world around you continues. You’d stay in this bubble with him if it wasn’t so familiar, only because the familiarity scares you a little. You don’t want to know if anything else feels the same.
“I’m gonna look for Tae,” you say, breaking the silence. 
You only need to look to your left at the sound of someone hooting to find your best friend downing another cup of some concoction, and by the sound of his laugh, you know this is the one that will do it for him. This is his point of no return. Anything he does after is not meant for many people to see; he has an image to protect, after all.
“Alright, that’s my cue,” you say, walking towards him. 
You cup Taehyung’s face in your hands and tell him that the party’s over and you’ll take him home. He argues, but you remind him that he’s a celebrity and that he can’t have drunk pictures of him circulating online. His inebriated mind sort of gets it, and you take him in your arms and start looking around, trying to see which of the guys are the most stable one to drive.
“How are you going home?”
“Uh…” you turn to face Yoongi. “One of… them? Jungkook, Wooz, Soon-young all offered.”
“And they’ve all had a lot to drink,” he replies.
“Who here hasn’t?” You chuckle, eyes still searching the room. You don’t want to ask your safest option, which is the man in front of you. You’re not quite sure how your heart can handle that. 
“Me,” he says so casually. “I just had one bottle.” 
You know what he means, even more when he goes to Taehyung’s side to help you assist your drunk best friend. Yoongi doesn’t say anything else though; he just stands there while waiting for your reply. This is about safety, you remind yourself, and it has nothing to do with suddenly wanting to be in his presence just a little longer.
“Okay,” you reply, knowing he knows what you mean, too.
“Okay.”
All three of you say goodbye to your friends, all of whom give you smug looks, passing up on the teasing now given Yoongi’s displeased face after someone remarks that “mom and dad are taking care of their kid again.” This isn’t a new scene for them, either. Taehyung just tends to have a lot of genuine fun when he’s with his friends; it’s something you relate with after being in the industry you’re in.
You and Yoongi help Taehyung in the backseat where you sit, with your best friend’s head securely on your lap because he’s now complaining of a migraine. Your designated driver starts the car shortly after he checks on both of you. 
“Neither of you took your cars?” He asks.
“Tae did but passed up on driving tonight,” you say. “I would’ve driven, had I known he won’t be able to control himself. I’m still waiting for my requested rental car.”
Yoongi merely hums and focuses on the road while you… well, while you sort of focus on him. Your position behind the passenger seat allows you a view from the side - from how his fingers drum the steering wheel to how he nibbles his lips. His eyes are focused on the road but you can tell he’s focused on both of you, too, with the way he turns to the back whenever Taehyung makes some garbled sound or just to ask you if you’re okay. 
You watched him do this so many times before with you next to him, holding his hand and kissing his cheek at every stoplight. For someone who loves music, he never put the radio on when he drove you. He said it allowed him to focus on you, and that memory isn’t one that you really want to think of right now, especially since it’s silent in the car. You don’t know which ones you’d rather remember, though - the good ones or the bad. You suppose either would hurt regardless, and this wasn’t something that you prepared for. 
You make it to your best friend’s house as you and Yoongi assist him to the gate to Mrs. Kim’s shock. She scolds a barely-awake Taehyung and apologizes profusely to Yoongi, who says she’s happy to see him in their home once again. As Mr. Kim takes his son up to his room, Yoongi turns to you and asks if you need a ride home.
“I’m sleeping over,” you say in a panic. “Someone’s got to take care of his drunk ass.”
“Okay,” Yoongi says, briefly meeting your eyes before nodding towards his car. “I’ll go ahead. It was nice seeing you again, ___.”
They’re simple words that any old friend would tell another after seeing them in years, but somehow they hit you differently. This entire evening hasn’t been a dream or some made up scenario in your head where you meet the man you loved after so long. 
He’s here. With you. Looking at you in a way you’re very unfamiliar with - with a calmness in his eyes and a hint of care and acceptance, as if he’s glad you’re here but that he’s well aware of the years between you, of the years that passed by, of the years that changed you both. 
You don’t respond fast enough because before you know it, he’s turning around, ready to head out the door.
“It was nice seeing you, too, Yoongi,” you say softly. 
But he hears it, stops walking for a while, and then opens the door and walks out. 
You wonder if he’d said something the day you left, would you have stopped and turned around? Or would you have kept walking?  
But thinking about that won’t do you any good, so you turn away as well and head upstairs.
Outside, Yoongi steps on the gas, turns to the next corner, and then stops the car. He clasps his hands together so they’d stop shaking, and he lets himself breathe for the first time tonight. He’s kept his cool long enough, but after everything - the party, the teasing, the car ride - he doesn’t think he can hold the emotions in any longer, and he doesn’t even know what they are. 
Longing? Sadness? Regret? Is it the unspeakable feeling of fear at the thought of you dating one of his friends who might actually be good for you? Is it relief at the idea that letting you go was the best thing that he could’ve ever done for you? Is it confusion over wanting so badly to take you in his arms but not wanting to feel your touch, knowing it would remind him of everything he’s tried to forget? 
Yoongi lays his head on the headrest and takes a breath. You’re so beautiful, as if some light shines on you wherever you go. It’s probably the glow you emit; he’s told you that before but you always said he was just teasing. He sees it even more now. 
But it’s also the crinkle of your eyes when you smile that sweet smile of yours that makes things feel familiar, and because of that, uneasy. It’s that honey sound of your voice; he heard it as you laughed during the party and joked around with everyone. It’s that captivating look you have, the one that says you know something but you want to know more; he felt that look when he entered the house and as he drove you earlier. 
He wonders if you saw past him, past his nonchalance and calm demeanor. You were always so good at that - knowing there was more behind his passiveness, knowing how to get a reaction from him, knowing which buttons to push so he’d open up and let you in. 
He doesn’t know if he should be afraid that you still know how to do it, or if he should revel in it because he’s missed you, more than he could ever say and more than he’d ever care to admit. 
But beyond all that, he’s sure that one of his emotions is happiness. Every time you talked about work and being able to watch yourself on screen - he swears he didn’t eavesdrop but that he just happened to be there - there was that excitement that felt like the continuation from when you used to talk about your big dreams with him. 
You got what you wanted and you worked hard to get to where you are and he knows you’re proud of yourself and that’s all he’s ever wanted. Seeing that smile - he knows. Letting you go was the best thing he’s ever done for you.
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“What are you doing here?”
Taehyung’s hoarse voice forces your eyes off the ceiling onto your side where he’s currently hugging his pillow, messy hair and pouty lips on display. 
“Trying to get some rest after I saved your drunk ass last night,” you bitterly respond. “I got to you before any compromising photos or videos were taken. You’re welcome.”
“Hmm, thanks,” he groans. “But uh, why are you here? Didn’t you say you wanted proper rest in your house before seeing your family today?”
“Right, uh… you see. Yoongi drove us here, and then he asked if I wanted a ride home but I kinda panicked and said I’m sleeping over so… Here I am!” You laugh, unconvincingly. “My rental car’s on the way here. I’ll drive to my house and then go to my dad’s.”
“Ugh, you’re so dumb,” he says, sinking into his comforter. You gasp in response. “That was your chance to be alone with him but you didn’t take the offer. We both know you wanted to.”
“Tae, being drunk and not holding anything back doesn’t mean you can just assume things like that,” you respond, sitting up and frowning at him. “I didn’t want to be alone with him, that’s why I’m here!”
“Why didn’t you want to be alone with him?” He answers back.
“Uhm, why would I want to?” You ask incredulously. “Since when was getting in a car alone with an ex ever a good idea?”
“Why? You’re afraid you’d kiss him if you did?”
You scowl at your best friend. “I should’ve left you there drunk with possible penis drawings on your face.”
“Just being honest. It’s not like you’ve never done that with him before,” he shrugs. 
“I hate you.”
“I know. But you’ll love me later on. At least I’m still half asleep.”
You push him awake, the stress heightening now as the previous night plays in your head. 
“Tae! What happened to my hi, goodbye plan?!” You groan. “I was literally just supposed to say hi and then be civil, like, acknowledge his presence but not be affected by it. But then we had some small talk and he drove us home.”
“We all know it was a denial plan,” he huffs. “It was bound to fail.”
“Gee, thanks. You’re being incredibly helpful right now,” you frown again. 
“Fine,” he grumbles, sitting now. “You had small talk, he drove you here. How are those affecting you and why are you making it a big deal?”
“I’m not making it a big deal,” you point out. 
“You kinda are.”
“No, I’m not.”
“You are because that’s how things started before. And you’re afraid that one small misstep will cause you to fall for him all over again, fast and hard, because that’s how you are when it comes to him.”
“You’re hungover and tired so your judgment is impaired,” you say, crossing your arms. “You remember what happened after all that. I’ll be perpetually grateful that you never pushed me to talk about it unless I was drunk and couldn’t remember things but I was heartbroken, Tae. And then I was numb. It took a while before I started to feel again.”
“I know,” he says, taking you in his arms now as he holds you like a baby - a rare occurrence, as this often happens the other way around. “And I can never fault you for it because even if it was like that summer fling that only happened in the movies, I know you loved him, genuinely and intensely, and a love like that stays with you. But he’s got a good life here, ___, and you’ve got an amazing one in Seoul. You just have to remember why it didn’t work out in the first place and make sure you don’t fall into that trap again. Just… acknowledge that. For your sake. And then do what you need to do so you don’t make the same mistakes again.”
Enveloped in his warmth, you take in your best friend’s words. He may still be hungover and may also be confused but his comfort never seizes, and it’s one of the reasons why you love him dearly. 
“So yeah, good on you I guess for not taking that ride with him. Maybe staying away and keeping your distance might be good,” he adds.
Your silence somehow alarms him, so he nudges you. “It’s a good idea, right?”
“I don’t know. Suddenly I feel like staying away and keeping my distance will let him know that it still affects me. He’ll always know me like that,” you sigh, hugging him tightly for more comfort. “And there’s this part of me that wants to show him that I’m fine, you know?  That even with everything that happened between us, I walked away from it knowing what I deserve, and that’s someone who’ll fight through life with me. He didn’t and that’s on him but he had his reasons, and looking back, maybe he was right. Maybe he had to let me go, and maybe - because I loved him genuinely and intensely - I want to show him that it wasn’t all in vain. And that I’m happy. Even without him.”
“You don’t need to prove anything to him, you know?”
Maybe I want to prove it to myself, you don’t say. There’s a stubbornness in you that doesn’t go away. 
“This isn’t about him, is it?” Taehyung levels his head with you. 
For someone hungover, he still knows you pretty well. 
You just sigh and fall back in his arms. He doesn’t push you. He just hugs you again until you both fall back in bed and he can comfortably curl his body all over you because it’s Taehyung and he likes to do this. 
“Just be careful, alright?” He pleads. 
“You know I also kinda don’t have a choice,” you reply. “It’s a small town and we’re bound to see each other. Jungkook and Namjoon have a game here again in a few weeks and that means another get together.”
“Yeah, but you know what I mean.”
You hum. “Promise me you’ll be by my side whatever happens?”
“Always, you stubborn woman. I’m the one person who’ll never leave you even if you push me away.”
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The lunch with your family is how you expect it to go - with your older sisters making some backhanded comments about your fame and how you’ve been “too busy” to even visit, and your father trying to dissolve the tension. He’s at least genuinely curious about how you’ve been, asking if you’re eating well and getting enough rest. Your stepmom raves about your drama series and shares that she cried during the finale.
“Why did he have to go back to his planet?” Garam’s 7-year old asks after your stepmom narrates what happened. 
“His time on earth was up,” you explain. “He finished his mission and he had to leave.”
“But why didn’t he stay if he was happy?” 
“Because he had a responsibility in his home,” you smile. “He wasn’t made for this world.”
“He didn’t have a choice, sweetie,” Garam adds after her daughter comments that it was sad. “That’s understandable. Some people leave because they’re no longer happy with those around them. Or because their dreams are more important than those they supposedly love. Isn’t that sadder?”
“It is. Don’t leave me, Mama,” the little one pouts.
“Oh sweetie, I never will. I don’t leave people that I love,” Garam responds, glancing at you to make a statement. 
You zone out after that, not wanting to engage with your sisters anymore. You play with their kids, though, who get excited when they see you on TV. You don’t want to treat them like you hold a grudge against them even if you do so with their mothers. Your sisters continue to do that with you - resent you when it’s your mom they’re really angry at for leaving your already unhappy family after she got her dream job in Paris. You were never angry though but you did sort of follow in her footsteps, and your sisters hated you even more because of that. 
“Are you staying for dinner?” Your father asks, the hope in his eyes hurting you. 
Things weren’t going well with your parents for a while, giving your mom more reason to leave, but you always wished that he had done more for you to feel loved in the home that started to become toxic after it fell apart, but you suppose he was just trying to heal his own broken heart after his wife left. It felt like your sisters weren’t going to forgive you when you decided to leave yourself, and he just let you walk away without making sure you knew he still loved you despite your decision. 
He’s moved on now, though, and happy with someone who prioritizes him and his needs. But too much time and distance can pull people apart - you can see them without the desire of being with them. That’s the reality with you and him now and there’s not much you can do about it. 
“No, I’ve got other plans,” you respond, glancing at your sisters who return your look with bitterness. “I’ll see you at grandpa’s tomorrow.”
You drive around for half an hour with no destination in mind. It’s nice to see how much this place has changed and discover which parts of it still feel the same. 
You pass by an antique shop - the antique shop,  a generations-old family-run store that used to be the hub of imported furniture that the townspeople once flocked to. It’s now a speciality store that still sells one-of-a-kind items but it also refurbishes old pieces. You see a poster on the window that’s promoting woodworking workshops. You won’t be surprised to find out whose idea that was.
A man briefly exits, and you stop near the front, wanting to just take it in. He’s got more gray hair now and walks a little slower but he looks just like you remembered - soft crinkled eyes, comforting smile, a look that you know all too well. You decide to enter, as you’re desperate for something - anything - that feels more like home than the one you just came from. 
“May I help you?” The man asks.
“A greeting and a hug would do,” you look up at him and smile.
“___?!” He gasps, walking outside the counter to get closer to you. “Is that really you, my dear?”
“Yes it is, Mr. Min,” you smile, returning the hug that you requested. “Just passing by my favorite antique shop in town. How are you doing?”
“Great! Business is stable and I’ve still got a lot of fight in me to continue,” he chuckles. “How about you? The big city treating you good?”
“It is,” you reply. “I think I’m doing quite okay there.”
“Ah, well it should be treating you amazingly. That’s what you deserve.”
You continue the conversation, with you asking about his latest projects and him, talking about his furniture and wood like his children, pride laced in his voice every time. He asks you about your latest series and if you’ve met his favorite actors and you indulge him. His laughter is music to your ears. You remember spending time here where he worked on his pieces while you talked about your favorite movies.
“Does my son know you’re here?” He asks after a beat of silence. 
“He does. I saw him last night. He looks well.”
“He does, doesn’t he? It took a while but he’s doing much better than before - smiling, joking around, helping me at the shop, talking about basketball again. It’s nice to see.”
The words hit you in ways you didn’t expect. Breaking up with Yoongi was tough to get over. Those last few months had been incredibly hard and so many times you thought that maybe if you’d been more patient, maybe things would’ve turned out differently. 
But you remember how during those last days with him, he’d lost the glimmer in his eyes and the softness of his smile. Not even you could bring those back. His passion for things just dwindled; he stopped wanting more, stopped wanting you, stopped thinking that things could still work out for him after what he suffered through. 
You’d kept in touch with Namjoon and Jungkook at their insistence, and they’d been the one to update you on how Yoongi was doing. Not a lot of details but just general things like the jobs he took and that he was keeping himself busy and that he was trying to get back on the court. It wasn’t with unpleasant stories, though - you learned about his new girlfriend from them, and that he didn’t play basketball for awhile, and that during the toughest days, he considered giving it up altogether. 
You knew he’d done well. You learned that from the guys, too. But hearing it from his father is different; you can’t imagine how it must’ve been like for Mr. Min to see his son start to change from what he used to be. But you know that as the good father that he is, he made sure that Yoongi knew he wasn’t alone. 
“And that’s good to hear,” you say. “Yoongi deserves all the happiness this world can give. I’m glad that he’s found his joy in basketball again it seems. And that he found it here.”
“He has, but I guess something will always be missing. He’s a lot better but he’s not the same. A parent would know, you know? The flame doesn’t shine as bright,” Mr. Min answers, the tinge of sadness in his eyes hurting you a little. 
But you just nod. His words seem to mean more but you don’t want to know what it is. 
“Dad, what did you want me to look at?”
Yoongi’s voice echoes in the shop and you can’t help but turn to him who’s just entered and looks as shocked as his father was earlier. 
You have a soft smile on, and Mr. Min knows not to intervene. 
“Oh, nothing,” he says, thinking that the new wood he acquired could wait. “Just watch over the counter for me while I check something inside, alright Son?”
He doesn’t let the younger man answer and just heads to the back, leaving you and Yoongi alone. He walks closer but keeps his distance. It’s enough for you to appreciate the softness of his face, though. His presence had always been reassuring; you see him twice and you’ve felt more comfort with him than you have in months. You don’t know how he does it, but that shouldn’t surprise you anymore. This isn’t the first time anyway. 
“Is Taehyung alright?” He breaks the silence. 
“Recovering, but more from his parents giving him shit for drinking too much,” you chuckle. “He got an earful and Mrs. Kim said she won’t let him in the house next time he gets that drunk. He’s doing chores as punishment.”
“Ah, well it’s been a while. It was nice to spend time with everyone again.”
“It was,” you smile now. 
“And you? Are you okay?” He asks, sincerity laced in his low voice.
“Yeah, of course.”
It’s the hesitant nod and the way your eyes look at anything but him, and he knows that whatever happened after last night is something you want to forget or seek comfort for. So he asks.
“So what made you come here? To the shop, I mean.”
“I was driving around. It didn’t register to me right away that I was in the area,” you respond. “And this place was always so calming for me, you know? The smell of wood, your dad’s stories…” 
You. 
“So I thought I’d come in”, you continue. “He hasn’t changed. It’s nice to see him.”
Yoongi always wondered what parts of you remained the same and which parts didn’t. 
Perhaps the playfulness tempered a bit. You seem a little more anxious than he remembers, too. There’s this sophistication about you that was always too good for this small town, and he sees that even more now. Your smile is still soft but it isn’t as bright. He won’t deny that it still makes his heart race, though. 
You have a habit of going somewhere familiar to seek comfort. You always looked for it in places, he noticed - in that dingy convenience store near your school, in your town’s secondhand bookstore even if you don’t like reading, in the Opera House where you and your mom used to go to. Yoongi learns now that that hasn’t changed at all. You’re in his dad’s store, a place you always wanted to go to after spending time with your family, and he supposes that’s where you came from.
He doesn’t know if he’s still someone you find comfort in and he doesn’t know if you even want to spend time with him after all these years, but he doesn’t have the heart to just let you walk out of here not knowing if you’re truly okay. 
He hated leaving you alone then when things weren’t good. You didn’t always want to talk but you said once that just hearing him breathing on the other end of the phone or just having his hand over yours made you feel better. He may not be the right person now but he’s still someone, and that’s always better than no one.
You eye the door, ready to leave, but his call of your name prompts you to look back at him.
“Do you have somewhere to be?” He asks.
“No, not really,” you reply. 
“Would you like to grab some coffee?”
The words are familiar. You hate that you remember everything about it.
“Just coffee?” You ask, almost teasingly.
He chuckles softly and meets your eyes, and somehow a part of you thinks that you shouldn’t do this. But you’re glad he asked in the first place.
“Yes, ___. Just coffee.”
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Series Masterlist
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mochademic · 8 months
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100 Days of Productivity [Day: 13]
studying english literature for reference & creative inspiration. I once heard that the more you read, the more you develop your own literary voice. now that I’ve been speaking/reading/writing in another language versus my own I can fully agree with that. a second language in comparison to one’s mother tongue will simply pale in comparison. but maybe that’s just a different way of realizing that I need to read more francophone books. if anyone has any French literature to suggest, I’m all ears!
currently listening // Bluebird by Luca Fogale
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algea · 1 year
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Bluebird
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song (inspired by): Bluebird by Luca Fogale
pairing: Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley x fem!reader
prompt: Simon gazes at his significant other and realizes that he is completely in love with her, and when she puts this song on play, his feelings blossom.
warning: British humor, strong language, angst (more of a happy sad), chalk full of fluff
a/n: just remember that my requests for things are always open, and I’ll happily write whatever you want!
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“…Simon.” A voice softly called, pulling him out of the trance he was lost in. He blinked and lifted his eyes to hers, recalling that he had been staring at her far too long, mesmerized by her. A soft smile had graced Y/N’s lips, her eyes crinkling in a way that only she could wear.
“Hm?” Simon grunted, his eyebrows drawing together underneath his balaclava. 
“You were staring, hon.” Y/N responded, sashaying her way to the other side of the kitchen, searching for an ingredient to go into the dinner she was making. Not that Y/N cared, she basked in his cold, yet loving, stare.
“Sorry, I was lost in thought, love.” Simon murmured, standing up and stalking towards her. He stood behind her as she cooked, placing his arms beside hers, caging her in from behind.
“You’re just so bloody fucking gorgeous that I couldn’t stop looking.” He finished, resting his chin on her head. 
“You, mister, are going to be the death of me.” Y/N laughed, turning around and grabbing his shoulders and placing a kiss on the chin of his balaclava. Simon daringly moved his hands to her waist, being careful not to topple over whatever she was brewing up. 
“Why do you wear that stupid fucking mask when it’s only you and I? I loathe that mask.” Y/N sighed, brushing her fingers across his cheekbone.
“And why would that be?” Simon asked, his deep, gravelly voice rumbling through the air. 
“I can’t see your beautiful face, Simon.” Y/N smirked, softly grabbing the edges of it. Simon only stared down at her, his eyes silently saying ‘I love you.’ She lifted the mask up to his nose, where she placed a kiss to his lips. She slowly pulled the mask farther, until it was hanging limp in her hand.
Not many things really surprised Y/N, come to say. She’s seen most of it all, working as a Ground Operations Specialist. But the thrill she got seeing Simon without a mask was so much more than what she encounters on her job. 
“There’s the Simon Riley I know.” Y/N smiled, her other hand softly caressing his jaw. Simon could’ve sworn that if it got any better, her eyes would be making hearts at him right now.
“You makin’ fuckin’ heart eyes at me, love?” Simon joked, though there wasn’t a joking tone to his voice.
“Why yes, I am, how did you know?” Y/N smiled, turning back around and finished cooking the food. She’s always been overly blunt, saying whatever comes to mind, whether good or bad. That’s one of the many things Simon likes about her, that and the fact Y/N doesn’t care whether she’s rude or not. 
“How about some music?” Y/N asked softly, setting the plates and food out. As Simon stood there and watched her, he found that the more he watched, the more he wanted to marry her. She would look so perfect as a wife, and maybe even with his children. Y/N pulled out a record, unmarked and unknown, but she set it on the record table nonetheless. As she pushed the needle onto the record, the crackle of white noise began, then the beautiful chords of guitar floated to Simons ears. The breathtaking strikes of the pianos chords sang in accompaniment to the guitar, creating a serene sound. 
She moves a ghost, sleepless eyes and weathered bones
She is glass, and stone, and all things in between
Simons lips parted at the words, and he set his eyes on his girlfriend once more. He noticed how the words described her more than perfectly, something only he alone could understand. 
And so it seems that she floats amongst the fallen leaves
She is all the places I have ever been
So maybe you’re a bluebird, darlin’
Tearing through the darkness of my days
Simon would never fully let himself admit that Y/N was the light, the joy, that completely crashed his life that evening where he found her captive in Valeria’s house. Her life was slowly coming to a close that night, but luckily Johnny had found her before they got to Valeria. Johnny was the one who helped her get out, carrying Y/N’s broken and struggling body to Ghost. 
“Who the bloody fuck is this?” Ghost scoffed, holding the unidentified woman’s body in his hands. 
“She’s a Operations Specialist, aye. Surprised she’s still alive, Valeria fucked her up bad, mate.” Soap replied, gazing sadly down at the woman’s body. Simon felt her stir in his arms, and she slowly opened her eyes and blinked. 
“Ugh…Where the hell am I…” Y/N started as she looked around. Suddenly being more aware, Y/N smashed her foot into Simons chest in attempt to escape.
“Oi, easy there soldier. We ain’t gon’ hurt you.” Soap said cautiously, taking a step towards Y/N. 
“We’re here to arrest Valeria, be fucking grateful we found you.” Simon muttered, throwing the obvious insults at her halfheartedly. 
“You don’t think I fucking am? You are some dim witted soldiers, I’ll tell you that.” Y/N laughed, sliding out of Simons hands and standing on the ground. 
“Well, on behalf of the 141, we greet you, Colonel.” Soap sighed, placing a firm hand on her shoulder. Y/N’s body went rigid, and she whispered,
“141…? Who exactly are you people?” 
“I’m Soap Mactavish, Sergeant.” Soap greeted.
“Ghost. Lieutenant.” Ghost snapped. After quick introductions, they boarded the chopper, Soap sitting next to Alejandro, Y/N next to Ghost. Silence filled the air, and Y/N awkwardly looked around.
“So, Lieutenant, don’t ya have a first name?” Y/N yelled over the chopper. Ghost glanced over at her, studying her face. He found that her nose was broken, lips cracked and busted, various cuts donned her face, and one of her eyes was swollen.
“You don’t need to know.” Simon replied back, shifting his gaze down to her arms, which were littered in bruises, cuts and burns. A few of her fingers were broken and her hands were also slightly swollen. He could guess she had a few broken ribs and internal bruises. God knows what could be wrong physiologically with her now, but it seemed like nothing bothered her nonetheless.
Once they arrived back at the base, Y/N stood to get off the chopper, but Simon refused to let her walk. 
“Love, you aren’t gonna be able to walk, let me carry you so you won’t get hurt anymore.” He sighed. Y/N obliged, letting Simon carry her to the infirmary.
“Simon.” He muttered softly to her. “My name is Simon Riley.”
Simon was shook from his flashback as Y/N called his name, sitting down in her chair at the table. He silently moved to sit, making the chair creak under his weight. Her soft gaze settled on his, and he smiled slightly at the attention.
“Y/N, I want to tell you something.” Simon started, placing a hand on his chest to find the box.
“You don’t have to ask, Simon. Please go ahead.” Y/N laughed, placing her hand on his. 
“I know this isn’t the ideal place, nor the ideal time,” He started, sliding off the chair and sitting on one knee. He slid the box out of his jacket and opened it up, revealing a gorgeous diamond ring.
“But fuck I love you, marry me please.” Simon whispered. Y/N’s glassy eyes found his and she swooped down to plant a firm kiss to his lips.
“Simon Riley, I’ll marry you.” She cried, placing more kisses to his lips. Simon took the ring and slid it on her finger, smiling into the kiss. Right then he knew he really was the worlds most happy man, and would forever still be.
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