#lucas regrets becoming a lawyer

[crazybigredlove]

1st September 2013

Petey-Boy, 

Happy Birthday!! First time that I haven't spent your birthday with you and admittedly it feels a little strange. Luckily there's a replica of you on the couch so I'm sure I can make do. Hoping that wherever in the world you are you're making the most of it. 

Long time no write. Or call. Or email. Or text message. Or smoke signal. Or cave painting. It's starting to feel a little like maybe I'll never hear from you again. It would be nice if you could do something to address that. Feeling like all I do these days is moan about my love life and mention how it would be nice to hear from you again one day... 

Career crisis. Not an exaggeration. Completely unbeknownst to me, Miranda was monitoring my every internet-based move at work. Forced to admit to behaving like a typical scorned woman in that I've been stalking all my ex-boyfriends as a way of dealing with the Big Red rejection. Lawyer Lucas has been getting some hardcore attention. Remember how he was hot back then? He got hotter. The greatest regret of my life is no longer failing in my quest to become a rockstar, it's that I didn't stay with him. Now a little ex-boyfriend stalking doesn't sound like such a bad thing, unless of course you have a boss like mine who takes delight in every opportunity to get angry at me. She pulled me into her office after lunch and honestly, I feel strongly that if she's going to get angry at me she should have to take off those ridiculous glasses that make her look like a bird. 

"Liv, I feel we need to talk." Her eyes narrowed and she folded her hands in front of her on the desk. The corners of her mouth began to drop in what I think was disappointment but may also have been low blood sugar and/or a hunter limbering up before it takes down it's prey. Even though every person over age five and with only half a brain could work out this was one of those times to shut up and sit down, unfortunately my mouth continued to move. 

"Sure, I mean I feel we talk a lot, but we could talk more if you wanted?" Shifting uneasily in my chair I was wishing for the millionth time in my life that I had been graced with a verbal filter. "Not that I'm really sure what else we could talk about, because from where I'm sitting, I feel like we already talk all the time and there's no need to put a formal talking policy in place." "We've been monitoring your computer usage." 

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuucccccccck. 

"Oh. Then I'm guessing we probably need to talk about that." "Mmmm. There seems to be quite a bit of time spent on Facebook. I went so far as to see what it was about Facebook that was so interesting. Seems it was mainly men you were looking at. Quite good-looking men I might add, but that does not detract from the problem that it is happening on work time and the quality of you work has experienced a decline recently. Who are these men?" 

"Well," I begin and pause. My brain and mouth are competing right now. There's a war being waged over whether to blurt out whatever nonsensical crap I can come up with or whether to put at least two seconds effort into devising a cunning cover story. "Most of them are men I have dated. I'm just tracking their progress through life. Seeing how they're doing. Hoping that at least a shark eats one of them. Run over by a tractor. Crushed by a falling cow. Accidental implosion. That sort of thing." 

Okay, so my mouth won. 

It's hard to be certain, but the corners of her mouth seemed to be twitching, almost like she was trying not to laugh. "And you thought that the most appropriate time of day to do that was during working hours when you're being paid to write health and wellness articles?" 

"Well, I can see why that might not seem like the best idea..." I begin strongly. "Bust mostly I did it during working hours because after I've written a killer article I need some down time to let go of the previous piece before I can launch headfirst into the next one. Sort of cleansing the palate if you will." 

Her face softened as did her voice. "Liv, we've talked about this. I have been there. I have dealt with being the only single woman at the dinner party, or having your life not be what you thought it would be, and I can sympathise, I can. But I think if you're going to dedicate that amount of your day to stalking your exes it really should be in your own time. Either that or you need to consider whether this is actually where you want to be." 

The crimson colour to hit my cheeks answers for me. And she watches me empathetically, a crinkle forming at her eyes. Then again that may not have been empathy after all though. It may have just been disappointment in herself at being the one responsible for hiring me. Staring at me silently and her face now awash with sympathy, I can feel her waiting for me to speak. "You're right, Miranda. From now on I'll ensure that my stalking is conducted in my own time." 

"Liv, I'm going to be quite blunt with you. Your problem as I see it is that you have zero faith in yourself. Zero. I'm talking about all aspects of your life. Dating especially. Everyone in this office knows about your relationship woes. Have you ever walked away from a man before he walked away from you? Have you ever taken a chance on something for no other reason than because it's what you wanted to do? Do you ever actually make decisions or do you just settle for however things play out?" Cock my head to the side and stare thoughtfully at the ceiling as I try to conjure up at least one name from my past that fits that description. None are forthcoming so I move on to decisions that I've made. Then the silence gets too much. "That's what I thought." 

"It's not that they all treat me badly or anything," I hear myself protesting. "That's not what I said." "I'm fussy and when I find one I actually like I tend to hang on long after they've gone because finding another one is soooo hard," I moan. "That's not really such a bad thing! Is it? I mean, I don't outwardly stalk them or hold on. I don't ring them constantly or turn up on their doorstep. It's a very passive aggressive resistance to moving on." "If they broke-up with you and it was a shock, or they tried to come back afterwards, then they have not treated you well. You are better than men like that." "Well, I mean, that's not all of them." "If they cheated on you or didn't call when they said they would, they have not treated you well." I puff my cheeks out, but I've lost. "Are there any that didn't meet those descriptors?" I shake my head. "It wouldn't seem so." "Move on. They aren't worth it." 

I feel like I should salute her, but I know better. I settled for staring at my hands instead and biting my tongue against telling her that as my boss none of this is any of her business anyway. 

Following that up with a stern talking-to regarding picking up my standard of work, it wasn't long before she had me agreeing to do my absolute best to get back to my previous standard (which was pretty mediocre as well if I'm remembering myself correctly) as soon as possible. She pointed out that hopefully that meant she wouldn't clock me staring into space for over forty-five minutes again. Earlier suspicions have now been confirmed: he is in fact a cruel, retired, Government spy determined to take me down. 

Bitch. 

Not really. I felt something akin to affection as I sat there talking it over with her. It was the kind of support that I imagine most women my age would get from their mother. I wonder where mine is? I should check my email. 

After work I settled myself in to whine to Christopher about it. 

"Why do you even work there?" "Who else would hire me?" "You're not a bad writer, Liv. You could find another job." "Is that cereal? I thought we weren't eating grains again." 

"I'm eating the last of it. I'm not throwing out perfectly good food just because you want to start a new fad diet." "This isn't a fad though! There is irrefutable evidence." "Oh," he says through a mouthful of something that may be NutriGrain judging from how much the smell is making me salivate. "I agree with the research, I'm just not convinced you'll stick with it." 

I punch him in the arm. "Jerk." "Get a new job. Apply for something. Anything. You might actually find a job you like." Spying the box behind him I reach round and promptly jam a handful in my mouth. "Do you like your job?" "Can you stop chewing before you speak? Please? Yeah I like my job enough. I get to help people and they pay me a truckload of money to do it." Shrug. "Why wouldn't I like it?" "You also get to meet lots of women." "It's a perk." "Speaking of which, why haven't there been as many round the house lately? Are you getting sick?" Picking up the box, he jams it into my hands. "Eat your grains. We have training soon." 

Christopher had asked earlier in the week if he could join me today and I had a minor anxiety attack at him seeing how slow and clumsy I am. It was a little embarrassing having him practically walking while I was breathing as heavily as a phone stalker and dripping with sweat, but it was nice having him there. As we were getting ready to leave Dylan strolled in, smiling as always. 

"Liv! How you been?" That smile always lightens my mood. "Not too bad. Still caught in a battle to the death with Cupid, but what can you do? This is Christopher, my housemate." Chris extends his hand with a curious expression. "Chris, this is Dylan. He's been my training buddy on the two or three occasions I've bothered to turn up in the last month." "Hey, you must be Pete's brother. Used to see him here a bit before he took off. Fuck, you two are identical." 

"Yeah, that's me. I'm the replacement while he's away. How's she been going? Is she improving at all with her two sessions a month?" Dylan laughs. "Don't listen to her, she turns up more than that." "I know. I live with her. I barely listen to a word she says though because most of it is the Liv-version which never really correlates with reality." 

Because I want to kick him it seems best to get him out of there. "Okay, well we were heading off. Enjoy your workout and I'll see you soon, okay?" "Looking forward to it," he says grinning at me before turning to Christopher. "Nice to meet you, Chris." Chris smiles back even though he stays silent. 

We're halfway home when it starts. "You seriously don't learn, do you?" His voice is tight with anger, as if he has to force the words out, and he's fighting to keep from yelling. "Huh?" "Dylan. There is always a guy. You're always looking for the next one to screw you over. Fuck, Liv. Can you even meet a guy without flirting with him?" Shaking his head he sped up his pace, trying to get away from me. "Chris!" I called, hands in the air and face screwed up in pained confusion, but he didn't turn back or slow down. I let him go. 

Got home just in time to answer the ringing phone. "Hello?" "Liv." Oh God. Your mother is calling from blocked numbers again and I didn't screen the call. "Hi. Um, I'm in trouble aren't I?" Collapsing onto the couch I brace for an earful that doesn't come. "No, you're not in trouble, Liv. But if something were going on between you and Christopher you would tell me. Wouldn't you?" "Yes. Why?" "I'm just checking." "I thought we covered this at breakfast the other day?" "We did. I'm making sure no one felt a need to change their story between then and now. Of course, I'm sure neither you nor Christopher would do something to ruin a friendship that is nearly thirty years old just because one or both of you was feeling a little lonely." "Of course not. Besides, he just yelled at me because I talked to a guy at the gym. He's insane." 

"Oh, Liv. When will you learn? We'll see you both for dinner soon." The phone goes dead. 

What is going on with your mad family? That was the longest day of my life. 

Liv x 

[otherwoofs]

@stcnehaven​ (karl) said: ❛ my life isn’t as glamorous as my wanted poster makes it look like. ❜ @ lucas

     Lucas could feel a headache building. The tell-tale signs were right there, as if standing right in front of him. Because they were. Karl Marsten was standing right in front of him.

    Somehow the werewolf always managed to test Lucas's extremely long patience. Karl should be proud of that - if Lucas ever let it slip. For all the frustrations the wolf caused Lucas, he never once let it show in his expression. 

    "Karl, a wanted poster does not make your life look glamorous. It would, however, make your life difficult." the lawyer paused for a moment. "Have you ever considered wearing a balaclava on your job? Or some kind of mask? Perhaps even a hoodie pulled down low over your face?"

[rebelwrites]

The Flame That Never Died

Harvey Specter x Reader

A/N I said the other day I didn’t know whether to start writing for Harvey Specter and Mike Ross (from suits) so this is kinda testing the waters a bit as they aren’t many fics for them 🥺

Request by @little-diable : Okay so, what if the reader and Harvey had a thing going on at uni but once they graduated they lost contact. Maybe she needs help with getting out of a marriage where the husband is idk abusive or too powerful for her to just leave him and she seeks Harvey out and they fall for each other once again?

This wasn’t the life you wanted, you didn’t want to be the trophy wife, the one that was to complete the act that your husband put on for the world.

The life you wanted was the life of a lawyer, you had gone through law school coming out 2nd in the class. Being beaten by the one person who would always have your heart. The one and only Harvey Specter. But as soon as you graduated you went your separate ways. You were on the next flight to Chicago to look after your mother, your dreams of becoming a lawyer put on the back burner.

You hadn’t even bothered getting changed out of your sweatpants and oversized hoodie. The house felt so empty, it wasn’t a home, it meant nothing to you. It was a Friday night, the night you would always go over to your mum’s but today was a year since you lost her.

All you wanted was to be held, but no you were in the massive house alone whilst your husband was out with his latest flavour of the week.

You didn’t know what you were doing when you booked the next flight out of chicago. A flight to the one place you could call home. New York City. You were done being the second best.

Pushing yourself off the sofa you ran into your bedroom, pulling the suitcases out and chucking everything you could fit into the case. Including your Harvard certificates. This was about you and you will do anything to get your life back on track. And you needed help to do it, all you were known as were Mrs Beckett, it wouldn’t be a simple process filing the divorce papers but you knew just the person who would help.

Staring up at the building, you took a deep breath, as you walked in with two coffees in one hand and your suitcase in the other. You just hoped Harvey would help you still seen as you both lost contact with each other.

“Hi I wonder if you can help me?” You asked the security guy “I’m looking for Harvey Specter”

“Is he expecting you?” The guy said not looking up from his screen.

“Urm no” you sighed.

“Then no I can’t help you then” he laughed.

You knew this was a bad idea turning up unannounced. Turning on your heels you had decided to give up until you were stopped.

“Sorry did you say you were wanting to see Harvey?” A young guy asked.

“Yeah” you nodded.

“I’m Mike his associate” he smiled “I know you don’t have an appointment but something tells me this is important, so come on”

“Thank you” you smiled softly.

“Mike” Donna hissed gaining his attention “who have you just put in Harvey’s office?”

“She said her name was Y/N Beckett” Mike shrugged “she said it was important and that she’s an old friend”

“You know who she is right?” Donna said watching you through the glass walls “that’s Lucas Beckett’s wife”

“Wait as in Lucas Beckett the politician”

“Yeah” Donna nodded pulling her phone out to call Harvey “which means her and Harvey go way back”

You don’t know how long you were sitting in Harvey’s office, but time was dragging. Hearing the door open you took a deep breath before turning around.

“Hey Harv” you smiled

“Please tell me my eyes aren’t deceiving me” He smirked as you passed him the coffee you brought.

“Well I hope I’m real you idiot” you laughed as he pulled you into a hug.

“What brings you to my office?” He asked sitting at his desk “not that I’m complaining at all, I mean it’s been what seven years since I last saw you”

“I need your help” you said quietly.

“Anything” he nodded leaning forward on his forearms.

“I’m divorcing Lucas” you said, not making eye contact. “But I know it’s going to get messy so I need a lawyer and honestly you were the first person I thought of”

“It’s about time you divorced that prick” Harvey said “I mean as long as I can remember you wanted to be a lawyer and that prick stopped you”

“I know” you sighed “and he’s been cheating on me”

“You deserve so much better” Harvey sighed “tell you what, I will get Donna to clear my schedule for the day and you and me are going to go for dinner”

“Can I at least get changed first” you laughed pointing down to your outfit.

“Tell you what we will head back to mine and I will change and we will go to a low key place you know like old times” he smiled standing up from his desk to speak to Donna.

Part of you regretted ever losing contact with Harvey. But that was in the past now. Within a few minutes he returned with the smile on his face that made you fall for him in law school.

“Come on then trouble” he smirked grabbing the handle of your suitcase “also have you got anywhere to stay?”

“No” you said shaking your head “it was kinda a last minute decision”

“Well then you can stay with me” he smiled “it will be just like old times”

It had been a month since you left Chicago, meaning you have lived with Harvey for a month now. It was like you guys never lost contact, and was like old times with added flirting. It also meant you so called husband hadn’t contacted you at all showing how much he actually cared about you.

You were currently making breakfast whilst Harvey was in the shower, or so you thought. A low whistle brought your attention away from the stove.

“Damn I forgot how good you look in just one of my shirts” He smirked, making you bite your lip.

“As much as I like where this is going Harvs can we hold off until I am actually divorced” you whispered looking at him standing there in just a towel. “And please go put some clothes on”

“What’s up is it distracting you sweetheart” he winked.

“You know damn well it is” you laughed. “I need to finish breakfast and then we can hopefully serve Lucas the divorce papers today”

“Did you ever regret marrying him?” Harvey asked.

“All the time” you sighed “did you look into my chances of starting at Pearson Hardman?”

“I’ve got a meeting with Jessica today” he smiled “who knows you might become the next Harvey Specter”

“What like you have done with Mike” you laughed “I mean seriously Harvs he is like a mini you it’s kind of scary”

“Leave Mike alone” Harvey laughed as he walked back into his room to get dressed.

You were deep in thought and completely forgot about the food you were cooking until the smoke alarm went off scaring the shit out of you.

“Some things never change” Harvey laughed making sure you hadn’t set his kitchen on fire “still daydreaming and nearly kill us, what makes on your mind”

“Urm it’s nothing” you shrugged feeling slightly embarrassed.

“Sweetheart you burnt my bacon it’s definitely something” he said running his thumb across your cheek.

“Okay I was thinking about us” you whispered “as a couple and how much of a power couple we would be”

“It won’t be long before we can make that happen” he whispered before his lips connected with yours. He couldn’t help it, he had fallen for you once again and wasn’t planning on losing you. You felt him smirk into the kiss as you wrapped your arms around his neck.

“Come on then trouble go get ready”

[hallmark-movie-fanatics]

A Look at the slate of Countdown to Christmas Movies airing this year on the Hallmark Channel

Jingle Bell Bride  Premieres: Oct. 24 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on Hallmark Channel Stars: Julie Gonzalo, Ronnie Rowe Jr.  Official synopsis: “Wedding planner Jessica Perez (Gonzalo) travels to a remote town in Alaska to find a rare flower for a celebrity client and is charmed by the small town during Christmas, as well as the handsome local (Rowe Jr.) helping her. 

Chateau Christmas  Premieres: Oct. 25 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on Hallmark Channel Stars: Merritt Patterson, Luke Macfarlane  Official synopsis: “Margot (Patterson), a world-renowned pianist, returns to Chateau Newhaus to spend the holidays with her family and is reunited with an ex (Macfarlane) who helps her rediscover her passion for music.” 

Christmas With the Darlings Premieres: Oct. 31 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on Hallmark Channel Stars: Katrina Law, Carlo Marks  Official synopsis: “Just before the holidays Jessica Lew (Law) is ending her tenure as the assistant to her wealthy boss to use her recently earned law degree within his company, but offers to help his charming, younger brother (Marks) as he looks after his orphaned nieces and nephew over Christmas.”

One Royal Holiday  Premieres: Nov. 1 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on Hallmark Channel Stars: Laura Osnes, Aaron Tveit, Krystal Joy Brown, Victoria Clark, Tom McGowan  Official synopsis: “When Anna (Osnes) offers a stranded mother (Clark) and son (Tveit) shelter in a blizzard, she learns that they are the Royal Family of Galwick. Anna shows the Prince how they do Christmas in her hometown, encouraging him to open his heart and be true to himself.” 

Never Kiss a Man in a Christmas Sweater  Premieres: Nov. 7 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on Hallmark Channel Stars: Ashley Williams, Niall Matter  Official synopsis: “Single mom Maggie (Williams) is facing Christmas alone until Lucas (Matter) crashes into her life and becomes an unexpected houseguest. Together they overcome Christmas while finding comfort in their growing bond.” 

On the 12th Date of Christmas  Premieres: Nov. 8 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on Hallmark Channel Stars: Mallory Jansen, Tyler Hynes  Official synopsis: “Two seemingly incompatible game designers team up to create a romantic, city-wide scavenger hunt themed for The 12 Days of Christmas.” 

Christmas in Vienna  Premieres: Nov. 14 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on Hallmark Channel Stars: Sarah Drew, Brennan Elliott  Official synopsis: “Jess (Drew), a concert violinist whose heart just isn’t in it anymore, goes to Vienna for a performance. While there, she finds the inspiration she has been missing, and a new love.” 

A Timeless Christmas  Premieres: Nov. 15 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on Hallmark Channel Stars: Ryan Paevey, Erin Cahill Official synopsis: “Charles Whitley (Paevey) travels from 1903 to 2020 where he meets Megan Turner (Cahill), a tour guide at his historic mansion, and experiences a 21st century Christmas. 

A Nashville Christmas Carol  Premieres: Nov. 21 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on Hallmark Channel Stars: Jessy Schram, Wes Brown, Wynonna Judd, Sara Evans, RaeLynn, Kix Brooks, Kimberly Williams-Paisley  Official synopsis: “Vivienne Wake (Schram), a workaholic television producer in charge of a country music Christmas special showcasing newcomer Alexis (Raelynn), never lets personal feelings get in the way of business. On the verge of accepting a job in L.A., and with the return of Gavin Chase (Brown) — her childhood sweetheart and manager to the special’s headliner, Belinda (Evans) — she receives a visit from the ghost of her recently deceased mentor, Marilyn (Judd). Her mentor warns her current path leads to a dark future and has recruited both the Spirit of Christmas Past (Brooks) and the Spirit of Christmas Present (Williams-Paisley) to help her get back on track. The Spirits’ time-jumping adventures force Vivienne to take hold of her life." 

The Christmas House  Premieres: Nov. 22 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on Hallmark Channel Stars: Robert Buckley, Jonathan Bennett, Ana Ayora, Treat Williams, Sharon Lawrence, Brad Harder  Official synopsis: “Working through some difficult decisions, Wade family matriarch Phylis (Lawrence) and patriarch Bill (Williams), have summoned their two grown sons — TV star Mike Wade (Buckley) and Brandon Wade (Bennett) — home for the holidays. It is their hope that bringing the family together to recreate the Christmas house will help them find resolution and make a memorable holiday for the entire family and community. As Brandon and his husband Jake (Harder) make the trip home, they are anxiously awaiting a call about the adoption of their first child. Meanwhile, Mike reconnects with Andi (Ayora), his high school sweetheart.” 

New movie to be Announced  Premieres: Nov. 23 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on Hallmark Channel Stars: TBD Official synopsis: TBD 

A Christmas Tree Grows in Brooklyn  Premieres: Nov. 24 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on Hallmark Channel Stars: Rochelle Aytes, Mark Taylor  Official synopsis: “Erin (Aytes) is planning the town’s Christmas celebration and must win over firefighter Kevin (Taylor) in order to obtain the beautiful spruce tree from his property for the celebration.” 

A Bright and Merry Christmas  Premieres: Nov. 25 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on Hallmark Channel Stars: Alison Sweeney, Marc Blucas  Official synopsis: “Two competing TV hosts (Sweeney and Blucas) are sent to a festive small town over Christmas. While pretending to get along for the sake of appearances, they discover that there’s more to each other than they thought. 

Five Star Christmas (Working Title)  Premieres: Nov. 26 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on Hallmark Channel Stars: Bethany Joy Lenz, Victor Webster  Official synopsis: “After moving back to her hometown, Lisa (Lenz) plots with her siblings and grandparents to help her father’s new bed and breakfast get a five-star review from an incognito travel critic (Webster), but ends up falling for him, not knowing he is the real critic.” 

Christmas by Starlight (Working Title)  Premieres: Nov. 27 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on Hallmark Channel Stars: Kimberley Sustad, Paul Campbell  Official synopsis: “Annie (Sustad), a lawyer, must help her loved ones this holiday season. Her family’s restaurant, the Starlight Café, is slated for demolition. The heir to the development firm responsible, William (Campbell), makes her an unlikely proposition: He’ll spare the café if Annie spends the week ‘appearing’ as the legal counsel his father is demanding he hire in the wake of some costly mistakes.” 

Christmas Waltz  Premieres: Nov. 28 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on Hallmark Channel Stars: Lacey Chabert, Will Kemp, JT Church  Official synopsis: “After Avery’s (Chabert) storybook Christmas wedding is canceled unexpectedly, dance instructor Roman (Kemp) helps her rebuild her dreams.” 

If I Only Had Christmas  Premieres: Nov. 29 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on Hallmark Channel Stars: Candace Cameron Bure, Warren Christie Official synopsis: “At Christmas, a cheerful publicist (Bure) teams up with a cynical business owner (Christie) and his team to help a charity in need.” 

Christmas in Evergreen: Bells Are Ringing  Premieres: Dec. 5 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on Hallmark Channel Stars: Holly Robinson Peete, Colin Lawrence, Rukiya Bernard, Antonio Cayonne, Barbara Niven  Official synopsis: “As Michelle’s (Peete) wedding approaches, Hannah (Bernard) steps up to help finish the launch of the new Evergreen museum while questioning her relationship and future with Elliot (Cayonne).” 

Christmas She Wrote  Premieres: Dec. 6 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on Hallmark Channel Stars: Danica McKellar, Dylan Neal  Official synopsis: “When Kayleigh (McKellar), a romance writer, has her column canceled right before Christmas, she heads home to reconnect with her family. Kayleigh gets an unexpected visit from the man (Neal) who canceled her column who fights not only to bring her back to the publisher but also for her heart.” 

Cross Country Christmas  Premieres: Dec. 12 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on Hallmark Channel Stars: Rachael Leigh Cook, Greyston Holt  Official synopsis: “Former classmates Lina (Cook) and Max (Holt) are traveling home for the holidays, until a storm hits and they have to work together to make it home in time, no matter the mode of transportation.” 

Christmas Carnival  Premieres: Dec. 13 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on Hallmark Movies & Mysteries Stars: Tamera Mowry-Housley, Antonio Cupo  Official synopsis: “Emily (Mowry-Housley) is a top newscaster who has achieved her career dreams but still has regrets about the guy (Xavier) who got away five years earlier. When the Christmas carnival comes to town, a ride around the carousel takes her magically back in time to the carnival five years before... giving her a second chance at love before she must return to Christmas present.” 

A Christmas Carousel  Premieres: Dec. 19 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on Hallmark Channel Stars: Rachel Boston, Neal Bledsoe  Official synopsis: “When Lila (Boston) is hired by the Royal Family of Marcadia to repair a carousel, she must work with the Prince (Bledsoe) to complete it by Christmas.” 

Love, Lights, Hanukkah!  Premieres: Dec. 20 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on Hallmark Channel Stars: Mia Kirshner, Ben Savage, Marilu Henner  Official synopsis: “As Christina (Kirshner) prepares her restaurant for its busiest time of year, she gets back a DNA test revealing that she’s Jewish. The discovery leads her to a new family and an unlikely romance over eight nights.” 

Info from the ew.com article, Link HERE 

[uxwantedheirs]

▲ five time my muse thought about kissing yours, and the one time they did. [Luca and Stella]

Five Times Meme | Accepting

1) It was the first time he stopped by Stella’s office. The place was bustling with interns and legal aids and lawyers on phone calls that all sounded aggravating. He was coming by for some papers his own office needed a second opinion on and he found himself hovering near Stella’s desk as she flashed him an apologetic smile as she spoke down the phone. He had hoped maybe he could get her out for lunch once he’d gotten those papers but it seemed to be a stretch now and would settle for rescheduling. He watched the office around him buzz with an intensity he found to be electrifying and overwhelming all the same. When Stella finally found time for him she was all reassuring words and flowing apologies. They spoke easily and with familiarity despite the contrast around them. Luca waved off her concerns and draped an arm around her. “Don’t worry about it. We can try again in a couple of days when this has settled down. Hopefully.” As Stella leaned into him he debated settling a kiss upon her cheek and decided against it. Too many people and he didn’t want to distract or cause a scene. With niceties done with and work to be done he wished her goodbye and returned to his own office.

2) Luca found himself at a new restaurant that was doing well enough but once the initial buzz died down it was a really easy going environment. It was mainly a breakfast spot with welcoming staff who remembered your face and your order, if you’re lucky. He liked the change of environment compared to his own home and office. It cleared his head when he really needed it. As he nursed a cup of coffee he observed the ones who were quick to come and go. It had easy to-go options as well as a full restaurant and it piqued his interest who were in a rush even on a mid-Sunday morning. That weird time between too early and too much in the afternoon where the church crowd would come and push others out. It became routine for him to come to this little place with the freshly printed paper under his arm and he settled in a booth easily. In the long line of those looking for a quick bite and easy coffee stood Stella. He hadn’t seen her here before, perhaps waiting for the buzz to die down as he had done. The paper was up enough that she most likely wouldn’t recognize him and he could watch from a distance. Her order was as indulgent as she allowed which meant it was iced coffee and some sweet that she most likely got other places as well. There was nothing particularly special about her movements but he still found it enticing as she sipped her coffee on her way out. Luca wondered what it tasted like and if she would let him kiss her to find out. It was a fleeting thought before he was back to his breakfast. 

3) The meeting had gone on far longer than any of them expected. The Wells’ refused to give much ground in the negation and he didn’t blame them but it was dragging this out and that got on his nerves. Luca was doing his best to contain his annoyance and urged his boss to speed things along. It was as if he was speaking to a brick wall. Stella was on the edge of the room taking notes from what he could tell. They hadn’t exactly talked about this meeting not certain whether they’d be present or not and now that they were here he somewhat regretted rug sweeping it in the previous weeks. He had long since checked out by the time the meeting was dismissed and his boss was wishing him a good night. It was just Stella and Luca left in the meeting room now that everyone sought their own freedom. Sidling up to her he gave a weary smile letting the annoyance and exhaustion show on his face. “That was an ordeal.” He muttered as Stella mirrored his expression though hers contained more compassion than his own. The conversation was short and more like small talk than anything else. Perhaps they were too mentally drained to really carry on. Luca embraced Stella and let his weight press on her momentarily. As they pulled away his eyes darted to her lips before returning to her eyes. “Goodnight Stella.” He released her and finally made his way out of the room and away from his work week.

4) Luca found himself spending more of his free time with Stella lately and it was nice to say the least. Some nights found them working cases together and other times they allowed themselves to properly unwind then there were nights in between. Those were the most frequent if he was being honest and usually due to Stella’s overachieving nature which kept her from taking real breaks. The soft click of the coffee pot drew his attention and urged him into motion. Luca pulled out a blue ombre mug for himself and a purple striped mug for Stella. Each cup was made to their own liking and he was quiet on his way to deliver it. Stella was elbow deep in case files and he wouldn’t be surprised if she was unaware of his presence beside her. Setting the cup in her field of vision he was tempted to give her a kiss as a moments reprieve but decided against it and decided the coffee was enough of an affectionate gesture. The night was quiet with Luca reading at her side while she worked. It wasn’t ideal but it was enough.

5) On the rare occasion that they found themselves spending time outside it was usually for typical outings like dinner or bar nights. Tonight found them out for a lighthearted evening filled with popcorn and overly carbonated drinks as they filed into a mostly empty theater. When Stella suggested going to the movies he couldn’t really find a reason to argue as it wasn’t the worst suggestion and the movie he was coerced into seeing wasn’t awful, at least that’s what the reviews said anyway. The theater only had a handful of other people in it and the pair found themselves towards the back. The movie proved to be slightly cheesier than expected and he couldn’t help but quip every time the love interest dropped a romantic line. When the movie finished they took a walk through a nearby park and proceeded to mock the movie between mouthfuls of leftover popcorn. When the popcorn became uninteresting they used it as ammo to toss at one another. The evening ended with laughter ringing between them and Stella pressed against Luca’s chest. Their faces lingered close together and he could tell there was a mutual desire to kiss. It was tempting to lean in and press them even closer together as the cool night air drifted over them. Luca let the moment stretch out just enough before it could become awkward and simply arranged them to walk side by side and returned the car. 

+1) Rain pressed against the windows relentless and angry as if it was following Luca’s lead, perhaps it was. His voice was raised and angry, crackling as he addressed Stella. There was still fight in her and she was attempting to push back against him verbally though her words wavered as she finally looked him in the eyes. There was a fire there that was dangerous and dared her to continue. When she challenged him it was all the go ahead he needed to move forward. His grip on her wrist was abrupt and brutal as he pulled her towards him, twisting her arm behind her back only to press her against his chest. As she struggled he pushed her arm further up her back to where it was certain to be painful. “Listen to me little girl. We play by MY RULES! Do you understand me?” His voice was wicked and thunderous in her ear and he didn’t care. “You are mine and no one else’s.” He surged forward and claimed her mouth, it was wicked and dirty. Luca was unrelenting as she attempted to free herself. When he was satisfied he pulled back and gave her a thorough once over. “If I catch you letting another man touch you again things will be much worse than this.” Stella spat angry words in his face though there were tears in her eyes, whether they were out of anger or despair didn’t matter to the storm of a man before her. None of it mattered as long as she understood. With another crushing kiss he silenced her and pressed on her arm with increasing pressure certain it would bruise nicely. He didn’t release her until he felt the fight leave her and the kiss returned, her body sagging against his. Finally he released her and made sure to praise her, “Good girl.” With a chaste kiss to her forehead it was over.

[miafic]

I think the fact that if you wrote L+Z, it would be 20 years of slow burn is what makes it such a great idea. Like yes give me the slow burn of my two boys

they make me weak

this got so, so long im sorry but here is a vague and very rough outline of what that story might look like

meeting in the first semester of grad school

suffering through internships, exams, papers, projects, and killer classes together. 

late nights falling asleep at each other’s apartments. eventually just becoming literal roommates the next year. 

taking turns walking to pick up cheap pizza from the carryout only place two blocks away

wanting to get a pet but knowing that would be an absolutely terrible idea

l drinking some beers one night and telling z about chance. he hasn’t spoken about it since that day he went home from college like FIVE YEARS before. he is a crying mess and he’s angry all the next day. zakk takes care of him anyway, holding him while he sobs and giving him space but putting some of his favorite ice cream in the freezer and offering to watch whatever superhero movie lucas wants

helping each other with their assignments. teaching each other about cool stuff they learned in class. 

anytime there’s a lull in conversation - “analyze me” “okay but you have to analyze me right after” 

missing each other in the brief period after graduation where they went to be with their families

starting p&p 

a longggggg section of p&p

behind the scenes stuff we don’t get to see - what it was like to be tight on money. what it’s like when they argue but still have to pull together and be a perfect team for the kids. 

megan

justin + the car. lucas and zakk butting heads over whether or not calum can stay and lucas’ subsequent victory in calming him down. ashton coming to the house in the middle of his 12 year old grief. travis coming to the house and having to learn social skills. jawn and lucas’ fp relationship and zakk (again) wanting jawn out of the house and lucas pushing for him to stay.

geoff being integrated into the house

lucas’ speech at the commissioner hearing. the meeting with the lawyer that ran long. 

getting the check in the mail obv. lucas has one of those “i’m so happy i could kiss you!” moments and zakk is literally the only person there

zakk beginning to try to date while only having one day off a week

luke’s suicide attempt absolutely devastating lucas. zakk is hit hard too but lucas saw him literally dying and had to DRIVE HIM. ALONE. BARELY CONSCIOUS. halfway to the ER to meet up with an ambulance (hi i really need to write this ugh will it ever happen)

the endless debate over hiring extra help

more stuff with kids im sure but i havent thought about it yet

phasing themselves out of p&p 

getting an apartment together. at first lucas thinks he wants to live alone but he quickly realizes that he loves and wants (and needs) zakk

zakk having a gf --> wife

lucas remains single despite getting lots of first and even second dates (with tons of women and one or two men ahhhh. zakk is convinced that he needs to try men. and you know what? he’s right)

lucas misses his presence way more than he should. he actually starts to wonder if he’s codependent or plain dependent or something. he’s not. but he’s in so much pain that he genuinely wonders.

lucas starts working more and more at p&p leading up to zakk’s wedding so he doesn’t have to spend all his time thinking about it. even though he’s the best man. so he’s pretty involved in ‘thinking about it’

the wedding day. lucas crying because he’s happy for zakk but he’s so, so sad inside to lose his Person. (thats how lucas is going to explain him to people. “he’s my person.” he doesn’t mean it romantically at that time but that phrasing helps people understand what he’s going through a little more clearly. zakk is straight up and says “he’s my soulmate.”

zakk obviously moves in with his wife when they get married (he waits til the wedding which is at lucas’ urging (moral reasons)). this is a transition for both men because not only does zakk have to learn to live with a new person but lucas has to learn to live alone

living separately. being absolutely overjoyed to see each other. zakk crying with happiness when they’re reunited after they’ve been apart just a few weeks. bringing each other gifts.

while they’re apart they communicate constantly - memes and phone calls and lucas emailing asking for advice that he doesn’t really need, but zakk has stayed more connected to what “the youth” are into/up to (this is the future now ahh it’s like 2022ish) so he feels okay asking

hiring ashton, jawn coming back to p&p, later hiring jawn to do art lessons

zakk finds out he’s being cheated on. it’s the last straw and he ends the marriage instantly. 

lucas is the first phone call zakk makes. he drops everything and goes to zakk’s house to be there for him all night. 

lucas holds him up for weeks through the waves of regret and desperation and and anger and elation and crushing sadness

zakk pulls away from him. they stop seeing each other so much, stop texting so often. 

the coffee shop thing

the thing after the coffee shop thing

zakk becomes excited about life again

lucas is a mushy little pushover when it comes to anything zakk - apartment decorating, 

lucas proposes after six months. it’s a quiet, private thing at a beautiful place, but there’s a photographer there on the dl taking pictures from several feet away. l and z realize a few days later that zakk never stopped kissing him to actually answer the question, and they laugh and laugh about it.

so zakk takes him out and does the whole big meal in a fancy restaurant, walk along the pretty river, roses, embarrassing him in front of a giant crowd of people by having coordinated a full-out flash mob and ending the dance number by getting down on one knee and proposing. lucas is bright red and covers his face and goes, “yes! can we go home now?!” and zakk grins and slides a ring on his finger and kisses him and everyone cheers

they finally get that dog they always talked about in grad school. 

the end.

[somerandomwriter1234]

Riley and Maya: I Think I Wanna Marry You - Chapter 4 (Will You Marry Me?)

Riley and Maya were holding hands as they were walking down the school hallway together as Riley said, "Come on Peaches. We have to make this announcement to our classmates together." Maya then said, "Come on Riles. It's one week from graduation. Plus, they all saw us dance together at prom." Riley then said, "But they probably still think we were just dancing as friends. Come on Maya. It's to come out to the world!" Riley and Maya then walked into their first period classroom and saw Farkle, Lucas, Zay, and several other classmates of theirs were already sitting in the classroom and talking to one another. Riley waved to everyone and said, "Good morning! Hey listen. I am really glad to share this news with you guys!" Riley then cleared her throat and then with a big smile on her face, threw her arms into the air, and yelled, "MAYA AND I ARE DATING!" Everyone then sat with blank expressions on their faces for a moment in silence. However Farkle eventually broke the silence and said, "Well Riley... anybody knows th..." Suddenly without Riley realizing it, Maya held up a sign that said: "WHY AREN'T YOU SURPRISED". Farkle then suddenly in a fake surprised voice put his hands up and said, "NO WAY! YOU AND MAYA? I've never thought of that." A happy looking Riley then said, "Yay Peaches! We finally said it!"

Later that day, Riley and Maya were both in Maya's bedroom sitting on Maya's bed next to each other in the middle of kissing. The two had their arms wrapped around each other as they moved their lips against the others'. Eventually the two moved their heads apart as Riley said, "Wow. I think that was our longest kiss yet." A smiling Maya then said, "Well now that I've started kissing you, I don't think I can stop now." Riley blushed a bit and said, "Maya... this is like emotional overload for me. You're making my happiest dreams come true to extreme." Maya smirked and said, "And you're just so unbelievably adorable and beautiful to the extreme." Suddenly the two heard a knock on the door. Riley and Maya then immediately scooted away from each other as Maya said, "Come in!" Shawn then stepped into the room and said, "Hey kiddo. Just came to give you some mail that came in for you. Oh hey Riley. Watcha doin here?" With a nervous face Riley said, "Doing nothing to nobody." Shawn then bent down a bit and looked carefully at Riley and Maya's faces as he said, "Were... were you two making out before I knocked on the door?" Maya then said, "Um... I... uh..." Riley then looking like she was about to have a nervous breakdown yelled, "I can't lie. We were smooching like there was no tomorrow!" Shawn's eyes then widened a bit as he said, "Okay. Maybe I shouldn't have asked. But you both don't need to be nervous. I trust you both and know you're perfect for each other. I mean I know what real love looks like. I spent years looking for it in all the wrong places. So I'm an expert in all the ways it doesn't look like. And you two... definitely have the real deal." A calmer and smiling Riley said, "Thanks Uncle Shawn." Maya then said, "Yeah. Thanks dad." Then Shawn said, "Well... I'll leave you two back alone so you can... you know what, I'm gonna stop talking now." Shawn then walked out of the room as Riley said, "Hey. How about you open your letter?" Maya then quickly opened the envelope and said, "Well lets see. According to this... Oh my God. Oh my God!" A confused Riley then said, "What!? What is it?" Maya then said, "I got accepted into a college. With a full scholarship, room and board, and everything!" A happy looking Riley then said, "Maya! This is amazing! You were worried you wouldn't get into NYU! Now we can start freshmen year together and..." Maya then interrupted Riley as she looked at her with an upset face and said, "I didn't get accepted into NYU Riley. I got accepted into another major university... in Rhode Island."

The next day: Riley and Maya were having a party at Riley's apartment with Cory, Topanga, Auggie, Shawn, and Katy. As the two families sat together Katy sat right next to Maya with her arm around her as she said, "I am so proud of you baby girl. You worked hard and finally made it." Topanga then said, "You really have Maya. The Rhode Island School of Design is one of the best universities for art students in the country. You're really going to grow and blossom there." Maya made a small smile as she said, "Thanks everyone. I... I really couldn't have made it this far without all of your help." Auggie then looked at Maya as he said, "But Maya... why do you look a little sad?" Maya then said, "Well... going to this university means I'm gonna have to move away. And that means being away from my family, friends... and Riley... the one person I care about most in the world." As Maya looked into Riley's eyes, Riley said, "Maya, we'll make it work. This school is your chance for you to achieve all of your dreams! You'll finally be able to become the greatest artist in the world! Just like I knew you'd always be!" Riley then stood up and picked up a nearby champagne glass and with a big smile said, "Everyone, lets have a toast. To Maya! For finally being able to have her dreams come true!" Everyone then picked up their own glass and said, "Here, here!" Everyone then had a quick drink. Then Riley said, "Ooo. Stomach not feeling good. Excuse me while I go to the bathroom." Riley then ran out of the room. Once she was gone Cory said, "Well Riley seems to be taking this really well. Don't worry Maya, we'll help chip in with paying for any bus or plane fare so you two can see each other throughout the year." Maya then looked away as she said, "Thanks but... excuse me. I need to check on something." Maya then got up and walked out of the room.

Maya walked towards Riley's bedroom door and saw it was closed. As Maya put her ear against the door, she began to hear the sound of Riley sobbing. Maya then opened the door and saw Riley sitting curled up in the bay window with her head buried between her legs. A concerned Maya said, "Riley?" Riley then put her head up and said, "Oh Maya. Um... what are you doing there?" Maya then said, "Looking for you. Riley, are... are you crying?" Riley then said, "No. I'm just happy for you Maya. You finally achieved your dreams and..." Suddenly tears began to come out of Riley's eyes as suddenly Riley's face broke down into complete sadness as she said, "No. I'm not okay Maya. I don't want to be without you. I don't want you to go! I love you Maya! I can't let you go!" Maya then immediately sat next to Riley and held her close in her arms. Tears began to come out of Maya's eyes as she and Riley both began to hug each other tightly.

At the dinner table in Maya's home, Maya was sitting in front of Shawn and Katy as she said, "Mom, dad. I love Riley. I can't move away from her. But... I can't just give up this opportunity I have either." Shawn then said, "Look Maya. I know how much it hurts to be away from your best friends. But as much as I regret the time I spent away from Cory and Topanga, I did see new things and gain new experiences. Sometimes being away from the people you love for a season of your life, helps you better realize how much they really mean to you." Katy then said, "Yeah. Besides. Maybe this distance will help you and Riley see what your relationship is really made of." Maya looked down as she said, "Yeah... maybe."

At the dinner table in Riley's home, Riley was sitting in front of Cory and Topanga as she said, "Mom, dad. I love Maya. I can't let her move away. But I can't just stop her from this opportunity she has." Cory then said, "Riley, you're still young and you have to realize... change is a part of life." Topanga then said, "Yeah. Remember, me and your father were very hesitant about moving away from Philadelphia. But if we didn't make that change, we wouldn't have found our current jobs and wouldn't have been able to help all of the people we have." Cory then said, "Riley... you have to let change happen. So rather than fight it, embrace it and find a way to live with it." Riley looked down as she said, "Yeah... I guess."

Several nights later, Maya was laying in her bed wide awake as she starred at the ceiling. Maya then heard a knock on her window. Maya then got up, walked over to the window, and opened it seeing Riley outside. Riley then said, "Hey. Did I wake you?" Maya turned her head and said, "No. Couldn't sleep. Looks like you couldn't either." Riley then stepped in and then she and Maya sat on the bed next to each other. Riley looked at Maya as she said, "I've been thinking a lot about what's supposed to happen to us Maya." Maya then said, "I know. My parents say I should go forth and gain new experiences and that this will maybe test our relationship to see what it's really made of." Riley then said, "I know. My parents reminded me about how good it was when they moved away from home, and how I should embrace change rather than fight it." Maya then said, "So... I guess that's that then." Riley then said, "But the thing is... a few years ago my mom had the choice to move away again. But she didn't because she realized she had finally found what she had always wanted. And Maya... you're what I've always wanted." Maya then said, "Yeah Riley but your mom was already a successful lawyer. We're gonna need jobs at one point in the future. And college is my one way trip to finding a really good job that I'll like." Riley then said, "Yeah. I guess the whole university thing for you is unavoidable." Maya then said, "Yeah. It is." Then Riley said, "But.. you said your college scholarship was offering free room and board to you. What about letting someone else live with you?" Maya then said, "Riley, the university won't just let anyone share in that benefit with me. The only way they'd led a scholarship student let someone else live with them is if they were marri..." Maya then suddenly stopped talking as she had a look of nervousness on her face. Riley then said, "If they were what?" Maya who continued to look nervous said, "Um... well..." Riley then said, "If they were... married?" Maya then slowly nodded her face. Riley then turned her head away a little bit as now she looked nervous as well. Maya then said, "Riley... I... I wouldn't want you to do something you weren't ready for." Riley then said, "I know. I wouldn't do that either. We shouldn't just jump into a super huge life commitment just because we feel like we're on a ticking clock." Maya then said, "Agreed." Riley then got up and said, "Well... um... I think I'm gonna go home. See ya tomorrow at graduation." Riley then stepped out through the window as Maya waved and said, "Yeah. See ya then."

The next day at the high school graduation ceremony, many high school students sat together wearing caps and gowns as the school principal gave a speech. As the principal spoke, Riley and Maya sat next to each other not saying a word. Eventually Riley broke the silence and said, "So here we are. High school graduation." Maya nodded her head and said, "Yep. The day everything changes." Riley then said, "Maya... no matter what happens... we'll always be together, right?" Maya nodded and said, "Yeah. You and me forever. We'll take on the world together, right?" Riley nodded and said, "Yeah. It's only going to be me and you for the rest of our lives. Till death do us part." Riley and Maya then began to blush a bit as they looked away from each other and back on the ceremony. Then the school principal said, "And now everyone. I present to you the Abigail Adams High School Graduating Class of 2020!" All of the high school students then stood up and threw their hats into the air except for Riley and Maya who turned their heads to look at each other. Riley then said, "Maya..." Maya then said, "Riley..." Then with looks of certainty on both of their faces, Riley and Maya at the exact same second both said, "WILL YOU MARRY ME!?" Riley and Maya then both sat with stunned looks on their faces. But then their stunned faces both turned into faces of happiness as at the same second they both yelled, "YES!"

TO BE CONTINUED...

*Special Note - The first scene of this chapter was taken from a fan art comic story created by Hikimi9614 (who makes amazing Girl Meets World fan art on Tumblr) with permission. Be sure to check out their amazing work!

Upcoming Chapters For the Series:

-Chapter 5: When Good News Becomes Bad News (Coming to Tumblr 3/17)

-Chapter 6: The Engagement Period (Coming 3/18)

-Chapter 7: Wedding Day (Coming 3/20)

[livingforshawnscurls]

I’m So Sorry (We’re Still Stuck in The Middle) | Shawn Mendes | 3

Series Masterlist

Your Name: submit What is this?

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3.

“So, I’m a bitch that tricked you into getting her pregnant?” Shawn had barely entered the room when the accusation was tossed at him.

He rolled his eyes, completely ignoring the existence of the mother of his unborn child until he’d found his seat across hers on the huge table. Then he looked up.

She didn’t look any different than what she had, three months back. Except―she did. Her eyes looked puffy, from crying or sleeplessness, he hadn’t a clue. But judging by the purple smudges under them, it seemed to be the latter. Her face looked tired and waxy.

But she was still one of the most beautiful women he’d ever seen.

Shawn ground his teeth together, tossing that last thought out of his head. She was an ugly person from the inside, and it had taken him a bit too long to realise that.

“I was angry,” he stated as means of explanation to her violently exclaimed statement. “Didn’t really think about what I was saying.” He shrugged a shoulder. “Although, I really do not know how this happened. I used protection.”

She looked about ready to burst. “Protection fails sometimes, Shawn! What the hell makes you think that I would willingly do something like this?”

It felt like a slap against his face, but Shawn tried to not let it show. She’d never loved him. Of course.

“And I wasn’t the one who leaked the news to media. It was a friend’s girlfriend.” 

Yeah, okay, that was bullshit. Her attorney gave her a look―something akin sympathy...or guilt?―and she gave the older guy a tiny nod. Shawn shook his head. “Right. Of course. Do you take me for a fool?”

Well, duh, of course she did! Look at what she left him with, four years back… 

She huffed out a breath. “It wasn’t me, Shawn.”

Andrew cleared his throat, and Shawn looked his way to notice that Lucas―his attorney―had entered the room, too.

“Shall we begin?” her attorney questioned, and shook hands with Lucas.

“Of course.”

Shawn cleared his throat. “So, how much did they pay you?”

She shook her head, blinking rapidly. “Excuse me, did you...did you really just ask what they paid me? Oh, God, I told you it wasn’t me, Shawn! I didn’t breathe a word about this to anyone! And the only person that found out, went ahead and screwed it up! Why the hell wouldn’t you believe it?” she cried out, her eyes―the beautiful orbs he’d once fallen in love with―shone with fierce anger. Her attorney winced.

Shawn scoffed. “Right. Believe you? Just like that? Well, I don’t know if you remember, sweetheart, but I did try that once. It kinda didn’t end too well for me. So… I’m sorry, but I’d rather not take that chance, again.”

She looked hurt, burt Shawn resolutely ignored the watery sheen that covered her reddened eyes.

“Shawn,” Andrew grunted from his seat next to him. “Stop with the past, already. This is about now, and the future.”

“Yes, exactly. Mister Lucas,” her attorney addressed his attorney, tiredly raking a hand through his greying hair, “would you please?”

Lucas extended Shawn’s files, complete with all the details of the rights on the child that he wished to detain and to give up.

“It says, here, that he wishes to check up on you once, every month, till the baby is born. Does that sit well with you, Y/N?” the attorney questioned her.

Her lips pursed, and she shook her head. “No, it does not, William. I’m an adult―I can take care of myself and the baby. I don’t need any intervention in the name of checking up.”

“Mister Lucas?” William asked, again.

Lucas turned to Shawn, troubled. “Sir?”

Andrew rolled his eyes when Shawn shook his head. “Oh, for God’s sake, Shawn! Mister Lucas, we could make it once every three months.”

“No, we―”

“Yes, we could!” Andrew cut Shawn’s protest off. “Mister Lucas?”

Lucas raised his eyebrows at William, and William turned to her. “Y/N?”  She shut her eyes and nodded. “Alright, Mister Lucas. Agreed. Now, onto point number two…”

The battle had gone on for over an hour, and you were beyond tired when William finally guided you out of the office, and out the back exit.

You turned to give him a tired smile. “Thank you so much for doing this, William.”

The older man smiled down at you, patting your shoulder. “Of course, Y/N. You’re Diane’s best friend. Practically like a daughter to me.”

You smiled again, and made a beeline for the cab waiting for you. Settling in, you nodded to the driver to make a move, and then relax against the plush seat.

You were really lucky to have Diane’s dad stepping to help you. Poor Diane had been extremely guilty about the entire leaking thingy Lilly did, and insisted that you let her help with the least she could. You were in need of an attorney, and you felt like your stars had favored you when Diane revealed that her dad was a lawyer.

You released a deep breath, shutting your eyes as you thought back to the agreement you’d made.

Shawn, as opposed to what you’d believed, didn’t want an out from the baby’s life. He wished to civilly coparent with you. He was pretty bitter about out all of it, too, claiming that he’d been thinking of the child’s welfare, while you were busy outing the news to the paps.

You rolled your eyes. He didn’t believe you. It was as if he’d lost all the trust in you―let alone the love he’d claimed to have―and swapped it with unadulterated hate.

Too bad you couldn’t reciprocate it.

You breathed in. You still weren’t over him; you might never be, now that he was becoming such an unavoidable part of your life. You sometimes wished you’d handles things differently. Maybe things wouldn’t have gone south the way you’d thought. Maybe things would have actually been alright. But… you didn’t give yourself a chance to ponder over that as you’ taken a rash decision.

Sometimes you regretted that decision.

Sometimes you missed him―missed the time when you had him.

Tags: @yourwonderbelle

note: this isn't edited. also, flashbacks come in, next chapter!

[wyatp-blog]

Rachel’s Season - Week 1

So, it’s been about a year since I wrote my first Bachelorette recap. OF COURSE, I watched Nick Vial’s season of the Bachelor, I even participated in two fantasy leagues; but alas I didn’t win either, so I will stick to making fun of these dummies rather than betting on them. I’m going to do my best to recap whenever I have time, but a lot has happened in a year and I’ve gone from full time student to full time writer, so no guarantees I’ll make the deadline every week. All that being said, LET’S BEGIN!

Monday night we were introduced to the 30 (45? 50?? I can’t count that high) dudes who will be vying for literal Disney princess Rachel Lindsay’s hand in marriage. And perhaps more importantly an invitation to Bachelor in Paradise, aka the opportunity of a lifetime to date Corinne. But I digress, this is still about Rachel…for the time being.

RECAP AND REINTRODUCTION TO RACHEL

Chris Harrison 

“Over the years we’ve seen a lot of bachelors and bachelorettes come and go, but never have we seen the outpouring of support that we have for Rachel.”

Very convoluted version of ‘We’ve never had a black bachelorette before.’ Congrats on your “progressiveness” ABC, it only took you 52 seasons.

Rachel 

“I seriously keep waiting for someone to say ‘Just Kidding.’”

OH! you mean like they did to Luke Pell???

 How have I never realized that Rachel is literally Elle Woods of Legally blonde?? 

Old Lady to Rachel

 “And don’t sleep with all of them.”

Excuse me ma’am but the #BachelorNation correct terminology would be ‘Don’t let all of them into your fantasy suite.’ JEEEEZE, there are children watching.

WE MEET THE GUYS

 Kenny, 35, Las Vegas NV, Professional Wrestler This guy dancing what I’m pretty sure is ‘JuJu on that Beat’ with his daughter to the dubbed over tune of royalty-free romantic Bachelorette music is actually pretty adorable.

Kenny

“I’ve been around a lot of rings, maybe the next ring that I touch will be the one I give to you Rachel.”

Yeah, either that or ringworm…

Jack Stone, 31, Dallas TX, Attorney Wait. Hold up. This guy gets a first AND last name??? What happened to the one letter abbreviation format like Ashleigh I. or Melody D.?! Full disclosure, I made that second one up but it still begs the question does this guy have two first names?? Is one of those first names Stone?? Will my question mark key ever get a break this season???? Stay tuned to find out.

Lucas, 30, Woodside CA, Whaboom AKA Whaboom. I already hate everything about this guy. We are not here for slapstick humor!! We are here to satirically mock our deep-seeded belief in love at first site. This dude is Johnny Bravo and  Peter Griffin rolled into one and I’m simply not having it. Plus I inherently mistrust anyone with a personal catchphrase. (A few exceptions stand #Whabalubadubdub)

Blake E., 31, Marina Del Rey CA, Aspiring Drummer GET SWOL BRO! This guy knows that girls have an algorithm that inversely applies how much you talk about your dick to perceived size, right?? TL;DR this guy talks about his dick too much to have a decently sized one. 

Diggy, 31, Chicago IL, Senior Inventory Analyst My mom once told me never date a guy who cares too much about what he looks like because he’ll worry too much about what you look like. But I might be willing to forgive Diggy on that front because, I mean, have you looked at him?!

Josiah, 28, Fort Lauderdale FL, Prosecuting Attorney Damn. Is anyone else kind of impressed how many lawyers ABC was able to pull out of the woodwork for Rachel? There might be some actually datable bachelors on this season… On the same note, this dude’s background is the closest thing to a legitimate Lifetime movie plot the show has ever found, which we all know is ABC’s golden goose. I’m now accepting over/under bets for if he becomes the next bachelor.

 MEETUP WITH RACHEL’S ‘SQUAD’

So I guess Sugar Bear Hair spokesman-ship isn’t as lucrative as we once thought… Literally everyone is back from Nick’s season to regurgitate Bachelor buzzwords, oh excuse me, I mean give advice to Rachel.

I’m sorry is Raven getting emotional or is she blazed out of her mind? She looks like me in high school when I’d come home late at night from a “bonfire” trying to have a conversation with my mom who was up late watching TV.

 THE GUYS MEET RACHEL

I know I’m not the first to say this, but holy hell Rachel is incredibly gorgeous. That. Dress. Is. Everything.

I watched this with my best friend Emily, and let me tell you, when Bryan came on neither of us could contain ourselves. I guarantee that he is the contestant that in three weeks all the other guys will be saying “he isn’t who he says he is.” But really, it’s because they’re jealous. Who could blame them? I have shivers just watching him, and by the looks of it so does Rachel.

Random dude whose name I won’t bother learning 

“She’s wicked hot, and smart too. You don’t really see that combo.”

I guess good-looking and respectful of women is equally rare? Guarantee this idiot will utter the phrase “you’re not like other girls” at some point during the season. 

 Jonathon thinks the best way to make a woman (WITH A LAW DEGREE!!!) laugh is to physically force her. To be clear gentlemen, when a woman says she wants ‘a man that makes her laugh’ she means with his words.

  COCKTAIL PARTY

Rachel

“Let’s hold up a glass and cheers to ‘No Regrets.’ Bottoms up!”

Whaboom:

I love how angry the contestants get whenever the first person grabs the bachelor/bachelorette. They always act like it’s an act of aggression, and the only reason that I can think of why they would feel that way is because they’re all so attractive they’re used to people coming up to them first. They can’t comprehend actually showing initiative. LOL

Direct quote from my bae Emily “If I went out on a first date and someone asked me ‘what does love mean to you’ I would pull out my pepper spray.” #MillenialDating #SwipeRightYall

I’m probably the only one, but this creepy doll shtick is the funniest thing the Bachelor/Bachelorette has ever done.

 Bryan gets the first impression rose, because what did I fucking tell you guys??? He’s so suave. He looks and acts like the charming prince from a Disney movie who turns out to be the villain halfway through. And everybody loves a bad boy.

ROSE CEREMONY AND PREDICTIONS

Bryan is the obvious choice to make it to the final three, if not the first few dates, and I stand by that. Whaboom will definitely stay longer than we all want him to, if anyone has deets on the contract he must have signed with the producers, hit me up. And of course Josiah has to stick around long enough for Rachel to get his full backstory and for us to get to see her reaction. Other than that, it’s anyone’s race.

It’s been fun you guys! Hopefully I get to write more of these as the season goes on, but if I don’t I promise you I’m watching so feel free to text me for more #SickBurns.

[taneyhana]

It Matters How This Ends || Combination Head Canon and Manes Dream Para || July 20th to July 29th

I will leave my heart at the door I won’t say a word They’ve all been said before, you know So why don’t we just play pretend Like we’re not scared of what is coming next Or scared of having nothing left Look, don’t get me wrong I know there is no tomorrow All I ask is If this is my last night with you Hold me like I’m more than just a friend Give me a memory I can use Take me by the hand while we do what lovers do It matters how this ends

Let this be our lesson in love Let this be the way we remember us I don’t wanna be cruel or vicious And I ain’t asking for forgiveness

Everything seemed to be falling apart around Taney. It was like watching old wallpaper flake off a wall. Then, as she tried to keep herself together, she felt like the harder she tried to grip reality it dissolved like ash in her hands. Her happiness had been wholly reliant on a few things, and even those seemed to drip through her fingers. For the last six or so months, Taney had devoted about ten hours a week to yoga and meditation. It was how she had weened herself off the cocktail of medications her quack-doctors had put her on and it was a large factor of her depression. Then there was Lucas and Wednesday. Between the two of them her life had mean. Lucas was her best friend and confidant, Wednesday a reason to keep waking up and moving. Together they had encouraged her to progress healthily.

As the twenty-seventh approached, however, Taney was without both of them for a short window. Axel had vanished and Lucas was rightfully worried about him. Taney took that time to keep her focus on Lucas and keeping him de-stressed and happy. Meeting his needs kept her mind off her own chaos. As time ticked on, she tried to focus on when she’d have Wednesday again, the twenty-fourth, rather than the absence of her daughter. The latter task was easier said than done as Maverick plastered his relationship with Lilja on the network. His words made her bleed, time and again.

He’d sworn he’d never get married again, she swore she’d never get married in the first place… then they’d eloped. He’d sworn he was too old to be a parent and Taney had long since accepted that the array of medical issues she’d had made her chances of being a mother something needing a miracle… then they adopted Wednesday. He’d agreed to love her until they died and now she was alone in loving him. So, when he couldn’t accept her relationship with Lucas and they parted ways and he’d insisted he’d be alone forever a deeper part of her hoped that those words were true and that she would be someone of value to someone. The other part of her deeper than that doubted that it would happen, that it would be another thing that he went back on. Sure enough he had reneged on that too.

Lilja was extremely different than Taney. Taney was genuinely happy for Maverick to have found happiness again and with someone that wouldn’t bring up the slightest chance of an associations with her. However, the constant push and pull from him regarding Taney’s attempts at being nice had made even that little bit of happiness turn sour. In six months she had listened to attacks on Lucas, belittling of her character and motives, and what seemed to be intentional mind games in some sort of sick attempt at making her sick. She questioned everything every time they talk and she was tired of trying to keep score of the good parts of him and his ugly side.

Taney loved Maverick. Despite the spiraling of their relationship that had not changed. Despite the blood and tears, he was the person that had shown her that she could find things she wasn’t looking for. Every night when she laid down to go to sleep since she’d realized she loved him she felt lucky for knowing that she was capable of doing something that was in her own realm of impossible. In her fuckedupness she had not considered Maverick wanting that for just himself. Now it didn’t matter, that endless fight over what the parameters of her emotions and sex life should be in an open relationship had long since come to an end.

Signing a piece of paper didn’t stop her from loving him. It wouldn’t stop her from missing him. It wouldn’t stop her from questioning if leaving him instead of Lucas was the right choice. Sometimes Taney thought she should have stayed. Her thoughts would pull back to her last mental breakdown in front of him, the grabbing on his part and how she fell through one of her many mental rabbit holes. Taney thought that if she’d walked one way instead of another that they would have worked through their problems, no more silence or violence. Excuses for him were made. Blame was easy for her to place on herself. It was Lucas that reminded her of the bruises and gaslighting. Still, she loved him…even when she hated him she loved him.

As the twenty-seventh approached, Taney tried to define and understand that love. Her mind was always most clear in her first tattoo session. She did her yoga in the morning before work and let her mind wind up and pour out as the needle hummed like a bird against her client’s skin. It was a fruitless chore, trying to understand her relationship with Maverick. It always left her with lingering questions. With a heavy feeling of failure she would trudge back to Flex Appeal after work and clear her head again. It felt like a true physical weight to still love her husband so much when it was all about to end. Marching to the end of that road felt like walks in a dark clouded room wouldn’t stop crowding in on her.

No one at Flex Appeal seemed to notice Taney’s stress, anxiety, or depression. Most of the instructors that knew the state she was in when she started saw the big-picture progress and not the small steps back. The few instructors she was sleeping with thought she was just being more playful than usual. It was amazing in a way, how little people noticed. She was shocked that a person so desensitized to emotion had become overtaken by them and the world was now desensitized to her having them. So, she put on a face and kept it on because she was determined to not let her sadness rub off on anyone.

It was the first time in her life she had been so fake. Taney could remember some points in her childhood where she’d been fake. Funnily enough, on the compound when she put on a face it had been to make herself cry to get some attention from her father. With countless children from a dozen wives, Taney was a mere number floating through a sea of prettier, smarter, and funnier children. She remembered being happy there, particularly with her half-sister Whitney. Beaten by life, that happiness would end with years of pain and running. It made her cold and blunt.

Being fake for Taney, until this point in her life, had been putting on makeup and playing pretend, usually in a sexual way. As she logged in to the network she flirted half-heartedly. Taney put on fake smiles and made fake jokes. She forced herself out of the house to drink and fuck, but her heart wasn’t in it. It was all an act to keep her preoccupied and her head to busy to think of the voices that would tear her apart as soon as time stopped. However, time always did stop at night when she was alone and until Axel came back she was lucky enough to be able to avoid even that.

Taney was so filled with self-loathing she couldn’t even look in the mirror. If she got out of the shower she let the fog sit there. In a way the blurred smokey shadow was her true visage. The weight of regret would be painted over through a smaller lens of a compact as her life moved closer to that day. She painted on the eyeliner, covered the bags under her eyes, and rolled on lipstick. Nothing seemed out of place because she was, in a way, just as scary as she had ever been. Others that knew her and didn’t recognize the woman in front of them took it as business, motherhood, or… and at its worst….that the fake smile was real and a representation of her happiness at the nearing end of a tumultuous relationship.

So many people at kINK knew Lucas. He was a client, true. He was the guy Taney talked about the most and the one she was going home to a lot these days. When she said she was going to her happy place, home to Lucas, she meant it. His mom had welcomed Taney into their family and now Wednesday too. It was the first time she felt that things didn’t have to be so tiring and lonely. The road didn’t feel like it was forking. The sky didn’t always feel like a dark and starless night. Cheesy as all that was, she was finding peace…or so she thought.

Whitney, her sister, had hung around more as the divorce date approached. At first she was just doing her usual routine of picking up and dropping off Wednesday on her way to work. Then it became lunch break visits. Whit soon added texts of pictures of Wednesday in daycare at CC West to the mix. Taney knew what she was doing, trying to keep her positive. It worked a little until Luke left to help Axel.

Axel needed Lucas. Taney knew that they were best friends, practically brothers. She didn’t to interfere with whatever was going on with Axel. After all, Axel had been the only reason she’d had a decent lawyer and wouldn’t lose custody of her daughter. She owed so much to Axel and she knew a mere thank you wasn’t enough. He’d pushed her away a few months ago and they hadn’t talked, but whenever Lucas worried about him she made sure to shoo Lucas off to check on him. It was the right thing to do for Axel, but it didn’t change that it left her alone at night, when the depression came in to crush her.

When Taney picked up Wednesday at CC West on the twenty-fourth she hugged her extra-tightly. Winnie wasn’t going to spend the next few days at Taney’s. She’d taken off work and Whitney had too. Winnie would stay with her aunt until after the divorce’s finalization so that Taney could focus on her meetings with her lawyer and preparing for any possible issues. Despite trying to listen to her lawyer’s tone of confidence she didn’t feel like she knew Maverick and that meant that she was terrified about what he would do.

With Lucas at Axel’s and Taney at home, she kept busy cleaning and re-reading paperwork. If that wasn’t enough to keep her mind busy she went out. Isabel and Tanes got drinks. It was a relief to listen to someone else’s problems. Then she and Emmett went for smokes and whiskey, the laughing and swearing was nostalgic to a pre-Los Angeles version of herself that was more authentic than Emmett knew. Then Keila came over to talk and eat. Keila, or Maahsy as Tanes affectionately called her, was like a sister to Taney. It was more than a distraction talking to Keila. It was constructively working through her friends problems that felt like real progress.

Still, when she thought about what Maverick could say or do she was terrified. Would he, at the last minute, change his mind about their custody arrangement? If he dragged her through the court systems would Axel keep paying for her lawyer? Would her medical history and sordid past be brought up? Taney wanted to say that Maverick was fair, but she couldn’t. She didn’t know the man that ignored her across a waiting room. She didn’t know the man that stared at her coldly across a kitchen or coffee shop’s table. She didn’t know the man that dug at the parts of her they was theirs. That was, to her all that was being left as the divorce process went through.

Sitting on the edge of her bed, she looked over the balcony of the loft and down on the entryway and kitchen below. She couldn’t think of how they ended up there. Peeling off her clothes, Taney left them in a pile on the floor rather than chucking them into the hamper. Passing the wicker basket on her way to the closet, She looked at all the things she could wear. It was a small and mostly colorless arrangement. In the back, however, was one long gown, delicately wrapped up. It wasn’t her dress, not technically, but it was the dress.

Taney pulled out the white dress that Whitney had loaned her for their wedding in the courthouse. It was as pristine as ever. She pressed the fabric to her face and inhaled. The faint smell of either Maverick or the place she had once called home seemed to still be saturated in the places he’d held her. She dragged the heavy garment to the mirror and held it in front of herself. Truthfully, Taney couldn’t place the woman she was to the woman she had been at that time. Now she was physically healthier that she had ever been. Emotionally, however, there were new scars and uncertainties that had shaped her into an unrecognizable creature.

The longer she stood there, looking in the mirror for the first time in a week or so, the more anxious she grew. Her wedding dress slipped through her thin fingers and cascaded to the floor. Taney’s chest tightened with the weight of an incoming panic attack. Try as she may to blink away the familiar burn of oncoming tears and stinging lungs, it wouldn’t let up. She tried to be strong, to look at that unfamiliar face in the mirror and tell herself that she was stronger than the person she had become. She tried, and failed, to reassure herself like Lucas could. Her gaze fell from her own eyes to her slender frame and the ink that pained her porcelain skin. There he was, etched into her existence covering scars. The woman’s thin fingers brushed across the watercolor lion on her side and immediately tears streamed down her face.

She had to wonder if the stabbing had been some kind of omen that she should have left him. Looking back on their relationship she now felt more than ever that she had brought him nothing but pain and suffering. It wasn’t like he hadn’t flat out told her how badly she’d ruined his life either. As her sides burned from the pain of her panic attack and she gasped for air, every fight seemed to replay with vengeance in her mind. Her fingers pressed and dug into the tattoo. A part of her wished that she could claw it off, as if the action could rid her of her unrequited love for him…The other part of her, however, simply wanted to be closer to him. The mere thought that ink was as close to him as she would ever be again led to an even heavier bout of crying.

At some point she’d collapsed into the pile of the white dress on the ground. Choking and crying she kicked it away, backing up across the loft’s room until her back was against the half-wall that looked down. She looked through the glass and, again, her bickering mind seemed to be in that place of chaos between self destruction and lucidity. Her thoughts danced between throwing herself over and how stupid it would be to kill herself over someone that neither knew nor loved her. She tried to cling to the reasons not to do it, the simplest reason being that it most likely wouldn’t kill her, and then moved to simply counting out her breaths until she calmed herself.

Knowing full well that Luke was busy and that Taney didn’t want Whitney to come over and help her when she had Wednesday, Taney became all to aware of how few people she had in her life to take care of her. Keila would have come, but Taney knew she was grieving in her own right. Genaya and Taney always found means of distraction, but Taney didn’t want to drag her into more of the mess of the divorce than she already had. One by one, Taney crossed off the list of her ‘friends’ and made her way downstairs to the kitchen where her phone was docked on its charger. Picking it up off the cold marble she looked at the time, the blank screen, and felt more alone than she had upstairs naked with a stranger in a mirror and that wedding dress.

Leaving the phone on the counter, Taney fell onto the couch and turned on the television. Everything seemed to remind her of Maverick or their relationship, so she rolled onto her back and shut her eyes. Her mind ticked away at how this was the last day of their marriage and how low of a note it would be ending on. She felt heavy and almost sick thinking about how wrong it had gone and instead tried to recall some of their happier moments. As they played over in her head, the sound of his laugh, his smile when she woke him up with her mouth trailing down his body, the way his body wash filled up the smell of the bathroom, she felt at peace.

Almost as quickly as that sensation of peace sank in she felt jolted out of her dream. She tried to remember it, whatever it was that had made her feel better. It didn’t seem to matter now, as she trudged back to the kitchen. Glancing at her phone she saw the texts and missed calls from Maverick, but there wasn’t a notification of a voicemail. Here it was, she thought, the last day as his wife and after months of not wanting shit to do with me he calls

Taney wanted to be mad at him, she tried to stay mad by refusing to open the texts. As she went upstairs to get dressed and brush her teeth scenarios started to play through her mind. What if, a freakishly uncommon optimistic voice chimed in, What if he doesn’t want the divorce? What if he’s ready to accept the open marriage if that means he doesn’t have to lose you? She shoved the thought away, calling it ludicrous bullshit as she rinsed off her toothbrush and moved to the closet. There another voice found her, one she had heard far more often, Just go see him and see what he wants. It’s not like it’s about Wednesday. She’s safe with your sister. Go see him, Tanes, it might be your last chance. That voice seemed far more logical as she pulled on a tight dark wash jeans, a MuteMath shirt, and her leather jacket.

Maybe she hadn’t realized what she was doing, that she’d listened to one of the voices. There she was, on her bike, riding the familiar route to the house she’d called home. Every light was green and she tried not to take that as a sign that she was making the right choice. The next thing she knew she was at his door, panicking. What could she say to explain turning up there? What if he had called her on accident and the text she had refused to read was just him saying it was a butt-dial, the second then being a question about Wednesday. She felt like and idiot and began to think about turning back, but her hand went to the doorbell as if possessed.

With no way out, Taney thought up a new horror: What if Lilja opened the door? It was still a raw subject, knowing that Wednesday would have a second mom that was a hands-down better person than her. Turning on her heels she took the first step back to her bike, muttering under her breath that this had been a bad idea. A hand reached out and pulled her back to the door. Turning around nervously she realized it was Maverick. She was about to apologize when she realized he wasn’t letting go of her hand. “When you didn’t call back I didn’t think you would come.”

Putting up her guard she looked into his blue eyes and tried to read what those words meant. “I didn’t read them. The texts, I mean… I saw them, but I didn’t open them.” Her confession wasn’t defensive, but it seemed to be the only thing she could say as she tried to be brave. “I should go.”

“Wait,” he pulled her closer. It was gentle, which completely surprised her. Taney swallowed nervously, but was surprised that there was no stinging pain where their skin came in contact with eachother. She wanted to tell him to stay where he was. A part of her was genuinely afraid of what mistakes would be made if he closed any more space between them. Maverick, however, tried to change her mind with ‘please stay’s and she wondered if something really had changed.

Taney had underestimated her ability to resist him for his own protection and followed him in. As she stepped into the familiar house she tried to be brave as she saw the new paint on the walls covering what had once been a loving paint war. Then there were the pictures of his new family. As she felt the walls close in on her she realized just couldn’t do it. She couldn’t be the person that had casual conversations with a person she missed to the point of breathlessness. “I really have to get out of here. I shouldn’t have come.”

It had been her fifth or sixth protest and as she feared the nothingness that awaited her outside the front door, Taney shut her eyes and tried to turn around and leave. His familiar firm hands took hold of her, one wrapped around her thin waist and the other tilted up her chin. There was an eternity and then no time at all between him holding her and their lips meeting. Her heart raced, but she couldn’t ignore her walls crumbling down as that buried love for him finally received what it had begged for every second of every day since she had come back from England.

At some point he had picked her feet up off the floor as they kissed and they’d wrapped around his waist in the familiar ways they used to greet each other. Between kisses she whispered she loved him and she was certain she heard him say it too as he carried her upstairs to their room. As different as the rooms had looked just moments ago, Taney now wondered if it had just been that she’d simply forgotten the details of the place. Before she could thing about it Maverick had collapsed onto their bed and she looked down at him. A part of her told her not to do it, that she’d asked for this and he’d flatly laughed it off. Another told her that he was too logical to do this without being okay with it. So, Taney hoped that maybe something had changed and that this wouldn’t be a mistake.

The entire day seemed to move slow, like a movie montage. His fingers silently undressed her. His lips rediscovered her skin. When he was ready he rolled her over and reclaimed his wife, slow, deep, and full of love. Their fingers tangled in each other’s hair. The only music was their own panting and moans of pleasure, a symphony of the headboard hitting the wall. Then, as he emptied himself deep within her and the moonlight glimmered into the room, kissing him in places she’d been marking with her lips, teeth, and nails all day, she realized just how different he looked.

It was the realization that he didn’t have all of his scars and tattoos that her chest tightened with panic once more. It was like the world quickly began to shatter. No amount of I love you’s or begging to never leave could stop him from going away, fluttering away like ash. As she reached out and called his name she shot upright, her eyes wide open. Surrounded by the white cloth of her wedding dress, the sunlight pouring in stung her eyes. Taney curled up, sobbing on the floor, her small hands hitting the ground until she couldn’t feel the pain in her chest, only the pain in her wrists and hands.

Eventually she couldn’t cry any more and her body was shivering with cold. She clumsily moved to the kitchen, picking up her phone and sifting through old notifications, as there were no new ones, for anything from Maverick. When there was nothing she wrapped her arms tightly around her sides, her fingernails digging into her skin as she tried to gauge the reality. When she felt the stickiness of blood on the tips of her fingers she quickly rinsed her hands off in the sink and splashed water on her face. The voices were screaming a million commands but she reached with shaky hands for her phone to call Lucas.

As her wet fingers dripped on the screen she felt the guilt of calling him for a dream when he was taking care of his best friend and no one was taking care of him. Taney pulled out the small trash can under the sink and moved to the utensils’ drawer. Her fingers moved slowly over the blades of the knives and then she scooped them up and dropped them in the bin. She shoved it back under the sink and went back upstairs to go grab her razors and get dressed to take it all to the dumpster. As she stood in the closet she saw the same dark wash jeans and shirt on top of her clothes. She reached for them, pulling them on as she felt herself making a decision, to go to Maverick and talk ….to really ask if they were making the right decision.

While she moved downstairs with everything in her hands that she knew she couldn’t be left alone with she made a some semblance of a speech in her head. She wanted to ask him if it was really over and if he wanted to really give up on them. Taney wanted to tell him she’d changed. Taney wanted to tell him they could be what they needed and still be happy with other people too. Honesty was all she wanted from him, to give him, and she didn’t want to end their marriage without him knowing how much she still loved him.

Throwing everything into the dumpster she thought about how fair all of that was to Lucas and Lilja, and to Wednesday if it didn’t work again. She couldn’t justify anyone being in a relationship with her and as she shut the door to her apartment she slid down the door, throwing the small trash can across the room. No one needed her and she was finally admitting that she wanted to be needed. Torn between trying to control her emotions and the overwhelming self-loathing, Taney pushed herself up of the floor before she could cry herself to sleep again. Here it was, the last full day of their marriage and she wasn’t trying to spend it crying.

This was it, she thought as she dragged herself upstairs, Lucas had found his moment to step out. He could focus on Axel and put distance between them because there wasn’t a chase if she wasn’t married. Maverick had long since moved on, she cried as she pulled the duvet of the bed and dragged it into the bathroom. Tragically, even as she thought it she still couldn’t fully accept it… despite knowing it wasn’t her place to have an opinion. Wrapping herself up she climbed into the tub and fell asleep in the small space, withdrawn from the world. She didn’t know what would wait for her on the other side of the twenty-seventh. Taney couldn’t bring herself to think about it, but she refused to leave the bathroom and let herself run to Maverick begging and groveling.

When she fell asleep this time there were no dreams and when she woke up she was short on time to get to their meeting. Her appearance was only as put together as it had to be, though days of crying were still noticeable under the light layer of makeup. Again, they shared no words or gazes and when it was mentioned again that it was the easiest divorce the lawyers had handled Taney quickly blew through the tabs needing signatures, stood up, and asked if there was anything else they needed from her. What may have looked like pride was the final collapse of a woman who had once been a mountain and now struggled to understand basic breathing.

If anything the breakdown was made worse by being forced to have to stay in Los Angeles. She kept her fake face on for the people that offered to occupy her time. Still, at the end of the night she was up and forced to see comments about her child on the network, forced to witness petty stupidity, and it all seemed meaningless. Her phone had long since died and her laptop was left on her bed after a few more disgustingly happy smiles. With no appointments at her job until the first and Luke busy with Axel, though she still felt like he might leave too, she stayed in the bathroom as some kind of blanket burrito warrior trying to kill the voices in her head. Whitney checked in on her lunch breaks while Wednesday was in daycare and eventually she managed to fake it enough to get back to work and enjoy her Saturday with her daughter before handing her back to her now ex-husband as if it was a final seal on her fate.

[yuniesan]

The Cinderella Promise (RUCAS AU) - Chapter 12

Summary: Riley Matthews went to Las Vegas for her best friend and her Uncle’s joint Bachelor/Bachelorette party, but fearing that she would never find happiness she hides out in the hotel bar drinking away her sorrows. While there she meets a handsome stranger with a proposition that would change her life.

Billionaire Businessman Lucas Friar went to Vegas for a business meeting, but after being denied the CEO position at his family’s company, for being known as a player/heart-breaker, he comes up with a plan to win them over if only he finds the perfect “wife” to play the part.

One year was all he asked for, once the clock strikes twelve on their one-year anniversary they would go their separate ways.

But what happens with they start to fall for one another?

Chapters [0.5] [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11]

Chapter 12 – Sick

Riley could tell that something was bothering Lucas, ever since he had gotten home from work two days ago he’s been a little distant. With the lawsuit and their jobs, they hardly saw each other if it wasn’t involved with either. She missed and she wants to talk to him but she doesn’t know how, so she waits until he’s ready to talk but a week passes and nothing. Maya had come over to help her with some desserts she wanted to try and make for the business and she couldn’t help but confide with her friend what she was afraid of.

“Maya,” she says while looking down at the batter she’s mixing.

“Yeah Honey,” Maya says looking up at her with those blue eyes.

“Did Josh ever become distant all of a sudden?”

“You mean like he would stop talking to me, well there was that one year after I kissed him, but I don’t think that’s what you mean. Is something wrong Riley?”

“Well about a week and a half ago, well Lucas came home with this look on his face, you know the look, like someone kicked a puppy in front of you. And since then he hasn’t really talked to me and I miss that. We used to talk,” she said feeling dejected.

“Have you asked him? You know instead of being Riley and trying to wait until everything falls apart before you fix it.”

“Maybe I should talk to him tonight, I’m just afraid, there’s so much happening and I’m scared that it finally got to be too much.”

“Riley,” Maya grabbed her face with both hands and looked her in the eye. “Talk to him.”

“Okay Peaches,” she said smiling.

When they finished with everything Riley packed up sample boxes for everyone to try, one box for Maya and Josh, her parents, Farkle and Isadora, and even Zay and Vanessa because they had a date that night and Riley needed to get Vanessa ready for Zay’s sugar addiction. Riley sent Lucas a text message about dinner as Maya took the boxes from her and delivered them to everyone while Riley sat in her living room waiting for Lucas to come home. She set up candles, and their dinner around the coffee table, the desserts in the middle and a blanket for the floor. She even started a fire in the fireplace, opening the window in case it got too hot in the room. She waited on the couch until she fell asleep waiting for him to come home.

Lucas had stayed in the office longer than he wanted to, he had gotten a phone call from the lawyers in the case, since they had so much evidence against both Victoria and Logan, including the amount that had been taken from Riley. The lawyers wanted to talk about putting together a deal, Lucas wanted jail time for Logan regardless of anything the man was guilty of several crimes. They had come to an agreement in which Logan and Victoria had to pay Riley over three million in damages, on top of the money Logan had taken and the interest that she would have accumulated from her savings account.

Logan was also put on a federal watch list, in case he would think about committing the same crime against someone else, or even for insider trading. As well as a restraining order against both Logan and Victoria, so that they wouldn’t be able to be where Riley was or where he was. Victoria had protested the restraining order because she runs in the same circle as Lucas, but he didn’t budge on it. It was either the restraining order or they went to trial and someone would defiantly end up in prison. When he was done with the call he had spoken to Riley’s mother a little longer. She was interested in opening her own practice after all, because the tension in the office had become too much since the lawsuit. Lucas said he would open up a space for her to have, but she’d have to take Zay with her. Mrs. Matthews also said that she wouldn’t take her client list, and told him that it would be different if they willingly followed her and that included him, but Lucas automatically told her that he would continue doing business with her.

His phone rang as he was finishing up, “Hey Zay what’s up?”

“I just wanted you to tell Riley thanks for me, she gave me and Vanessa these desserts to try out and they were amazing, Vanessa has a big sweet tooth so we were both happy to try everything in the box,” Zay finished and that’s when Lucas remembered that Riley wanted to have dinner with him that night.

“Shit,” he said into the phone. “Zay I’ll tell her what you said, don’t come over tonight.”

Lucas hung up the phone and rushed out of the office, so much had happened that he had overlooked the time. He missed talking to Riley but because his Uncle had said what he did it made him afraid of hurting her like his parents had hurt each other. Only he had done it without thinking. Richard was waiting for him in the garage and he was grateful that he didn’t have to drive. He was so tired he didn’t know if he would have made it home without falling asleep at the wheel. When they got to his building he rushed to the elevator and went upstairs, he opened the doors to see Riley asleep on the couch, the fireplace was lit but the candles on the table weren’t.

He walked over to her and sat down, looking at her sleeping face, he brushed the few stray hairs that had fallen from her ponytail and kissed her on the lips. She stirred away and opened her eyes to look at him.

“Riley I’m so sorry, something came up at the last minute and that one thing turned into two, and I’m so sorry,” he said taking her hand.

“It’s okay, it’s just that,” she sighed as she put her head on his shoulder. “I feel like there’s this wedge in between us right now, we don’t really talk like we used to and you seem distant.”

“We can talk now,” he said. “We can eat and talk and make up for lost time.”

“Okay,” she said. “It’s a good thing I only made salads and not something that required heating.”

“I’ll go grab a bottle of wine, and we can talk.”

He felt guilty that they hadn’t really talked, he missed her, the way she would giggle when she found something funny, how she would make sure he had breakfast before he left, or when they cook together. He missed everything about her.

“So,” he said as he walked back. “I have some news to share.”

“Is it good or bad?”

“Both, more good than bad though.”

“Okay lay it on me,” she said as she took the wine bottle from his hands to open it up.

“The first piece of the news is that we’ve settled the lawsuit,” he said watching her face as she did a double take. “There’s a restraining order in place so that neither Logan or Victoria can come near us. They have to pay you the money that he stole, and for damages for when the story leaked. But neither one of them get jail time.”

“I don’t care about the jail time, I don’t want that part hanging over my head. I also don’t want the money,” she stopped and looked back up at him. “I just want the money they took from me and that’s it. I can donate the rest to charity.”

“That’s nice of you, I’ll have Iz look up a list of charities that you might be interested in,” he said as he started eating his salad. “There’s one more part to this that you might want to hear.”

“It’s not something weird is it because honestly there’s only so many surprises a girl can take.”

“No, it’s about your mother.”

“What about my mom?”

“Well we talked after we finished with the lawyers, and she decided to take me up on the offer to start her own practice, my only condition was that she had to take Zay with her, I don’t want him anywhere near their old firm.”

“Really,” she squealed and jumped up to hug him. “You won’t regret it, she would probably have move lawyers working for her than anything.”

“I don’t doubt that, she’s a very good lawyer.”

“Anything else?”

“My Uncle came by a couple of days ago,” he said to her, and went onto an explanation of what the man had said about his parents, omitting the fact that he had called Riley a bitch.

“He doesn’t sound like a nice man if he was willing to stop your parents from being happy,” she said when he finished. “Lucas, don’t stop talking to me please. It worries me.”

“I won’t I was just overthinking everything,” he yawned. “Come on let’s go to bed, I’m so tired.”

“I bet, you’ve been holding the world on your shoulders forgetting that I’m here to help you whenever you need me.”

They turned off the fire and cleaned up the living room, Lucas made sure to lock the windows and the door. As they walked upstairs Riley took his hand and put it around her shoulders, she yawned as she did it. They got ready for bed without talking, both of them tired, they snuggled up to one another and fell asleep in each others arms.

❤💜❤💜❤💜❤💜❤💜❤💜❤💜❤💜❤💜❤💜❤

Riley woke up the next day feeling like she was in a sauna, when she looked over at Lucas she noticed that he was sweating. The minute she touched his forehead she knew he was sick, he had carried the weight of the world on his shoulders and this is what he gets in return. She quickly got up and went to the bathroom to wash up, and then she sent Isadora a message that Lucas was sick. When she got back he was moaning in his sleep and she was worried that he would have to go to the doctor.

“Hey Lucas,” she whispered trying to wake him up. “I’m going to go get you some medicine from the pantry, and I’ll be back with some water and some food for you.”

He didn’t say anything, he hadn’t even woken up, instead he mumbled something she didn’t understand and rolled over to her side of the bed, hugging her pillows.

“You’re just too cute,” she said as she rushed downstairs. She made runny oatmeal in case he had a sore throat, and put it on a tray along with some cold and flu medicine, orange juice, even crackers just to cover her bases. When she got back upstairs Lucas was saying something, and moving around a lot, she set the tray down and took his hand. He immediately calmed down and went back to sleep.

Riley worked from her laptop, sitting on a chair next to Lucas so he would know that she was there. She made sure all the bills had been paid, and gave Richard the next few days off so that he wouldn’t get sick.

“Riley don’t leave me,” Lucas said and she looked at him. He was saying things in his sleep and it worried her that he was afraid of her leaving.

She took his hand and kissed it, “I’m not going anywhere.”

It went on like that until the next morning, she made sure he got up to eat, made him take a shower and use the bathroom. Whenever he was asleep he would call out to her, afraid that she had left him, but she assured him that she was not going anywhere.

She worked on her homework, and cancelled all the deliveries for the business because of illness, she made sure that he wouldn’t be alone even for a second. When he woke up he looked at her and smiled.

“Thank you,” he said his voice hoarse, she handed him some water and he drank it.

“No problem, it’s part of the vows,” she said smiling. She was tired but she wanted to make sure that they had food to eat. “I’m going to cook some soup so rest, I’ll be back soon.”

She set the soup to cook, adding everything she liked to eat and left it to simmer in the crockpot so that she wouldn’t have to check it too often and she went to sit down on the couch. She hadn’t realized that she had fallen asleep on the couch waiting for the food to cook.

Lucas was feeling a lot better, Riley had made sure that he had everything when he couldn’t do anything for himself.

“God, I love that woman,” he said wondering where she was, he had fallen asleep after she left, but it seemed as though she hadn’t come back.

He went downstairs to look for her, only to find her asleep on the couch, he wondered if she had slept at all while she was taking care of him. He knelt down to wake her only to notice that she had gotten his fever.

“Shit,” he said picking her up and taking her to bed, he took off her socks and jeans, he changed her clothes, into a simple t-shirt and his boxer shorts and tucked her in. He remembered she had said something about medicine in the pantry and went to check only grab the house phone and dialed her parent’s house.

“Hey Lucas,” Mrs. Matthews said from the other line. “Is there anything you need?”

“Yeah, Riley’s sick and usually she’s so organized with everything, but I’ve never taken care of someone when they were sick. Is there anything that Riley always liked when she was growing up that would make her feel better?” he asked hoping that she would help him.

“There’s a couple of things, she once wrote a story about a little princess who was lost she wrote it when she was seven, I used to read it to her whenever she got sick. My daughter the hopeless romantic was always talking about how her prince would come for her,” she laughed over the phone before continuing. “The book is still here, so I’ll stop by with it and some soup for her to eat.”

“Alright, I’m going to call into the office and wait until you come over,” he said.

As he was about to hang up she called out to him, “Lucas, one more thing, she hasn’t gotten this sick in years but when she was little and her fever started to be too much for her she used to lock herself in the closet, something about the monsters getting to her. So keep an eye on her.”

“Yes ma’am,” he said before hanging up the phone. He dialed Iz to tell her he wasn’t coming in but she said Riley already called the day before, and she hadn’t been sure when he would get better.

“I cleared out your schedule for the week, so you can both get better, and Lucas tell her thank you for the pastries she sent over the other day.”

“I will, thanks Iz,” he said.

“No problem boss,” she hung up before he could say anything else. He realized how much influence Farkle was having on her. She had become easier to talk to, she smiled more often and she didn’t drown herself in work.

He checked in on Riley and put a cold towel over her head, she slept soundly as he did his work from his side of the bed. She would snuggle up to his leg, but he was worried by how warm she was, even though she shivered as if she was cold. Her mother sent him a message that she was on her way up so that she wouldn’t wake Riley up. Lucas slowly moved making sure that she wouldn’t wake up, when he got to the door, Mrs. Matthews stood in the doorway with a bag smiling at him.

“We’re you sick too?” she asked and Lucas nodded.

“Mine only lasted for a day, I still feel a little sick but not as much, but when I woke up Riley was sick too. Sorry for making you come over.”

“Don’t worry, I made a large batch so you can heat up more later. Just take care of each other okay,” she said before turning around to leave.

“Thank you Mrs. Matthews,” he said and she smiled back at him.

Lucas closed the door and walked into the kitchen to grab some bowls for the soup, he put some in both bowls and put it on a tray so he could carry them, he grabbed a couple of bottles of water, he went to the pantry and grabbed some medicine for the both of them before walking back upstairs. Riley was still asleep but he knew she needed to take some medicine. Setting the tray on the bedside table and moved closer to Riley and pulled her up so that she was sitting up.

“Come on Riley you need to eat,” he said slowly waking her up. She grumbled but opened her eyes and looked at him.

“Sorry I’m sick,” she whispered.

“I gave it to you so it’s my fault, now let’s eat some of this and you can take your medicine so you can sleep.”

“Okay,” she said so lightly he almost didn’t hear her.

Instead of letting her pick up the spoon he held the bowl in one hand and spoon fed her the soup, she ate it slowly but he was happy that she was eating. When she finished he grabbed the water bottle and the medicine and had her drink it in small sips.

“Better,” he said and she nodded. “Go back to sleep.”

She snuggled back up to his leg and slept while he ate his soup, the book her mother had brought hadn’t made it upstairs so he ran down to get it and sat against the headboard watching Riley breathe. He opened the book to see a bunch of drawings made with crayons and pencils, under eat page there was a story. He couldn’t help but smiling, thinking that little Riley was sitting on the floor when she was little slowly drawing each page while she wrote her story.

“The Princess and the Cowboy,” he read out loud, thinking about what her mother had said. She liked this when she was little and he wanted to read it to her just to see if it would make her feel better.

“Once upon a time, there was a little princess that everyone loved,” he loved her too. “She helped out at home, and played with the flowers outside her window. Waiting for the day her Prince would come save her.” I’ll save you, he thought to himself smiling.

“One day she went out into the forest and got lost, her mommy and daddy were nowhere to be found. So the Princess called out for someone to help her, but no one heard her.”

He looked at the drawings, the princess was in a forest with purple birds in the sky, and the leaves were yellow and red.

“Suddenly a prince came riding up to her in a horse and asked her if she needed some help. ‘Are you my Prince?’ she asked him but he said no. ‘I’m a cowboy, but I can help you find your way.’ And so he helped her out of the forest.”

“A cowboy huh, maybe I’ll wear my cowboy hat and be your prince in real life,” Lucas said to a sleeping Riley.

“When they got to the castle grounds the Cowboy helped her over the gate, where her mommy and daddy waited. But when she turned around to ask him to come in and have chocolate with her, he smiled at her and rode away, saying ‘One day we will meet again’ as he rode back into the forest of trees.”

“What no happy ending,” he said as he was about to turn the page. Riley moaned and said something he didn’t understand before she rushed off to the bathroom and started throwing up into the toilet. Lucas quickly followed her and held back her hair, slowly running his hand up and down her back until she finished.

“Lucas, I don’t feel really good,” she said before she passed out on the floor in front of him. Her skin was hotter than before, and he didn’t know what to do.

“Riley,” he said hoping she heard him. “I’m going to call a doctor, I’ll be back.”

He rushed out of the bathroom to grab his phone and called his doctor, the doctor said to give her a cold bath and he would be over in an hour, but Lucas was scared as he picked her up off the floor. They should have the same thing but it had hit her harder and he didn’t want her to feel any pain. When he put her back to bed he sat there waiting, hoping that she would just wake up and smile at him.

“You’re my princess,” he said to her.

[wade61mcdowell-blog]

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